#oh well it's all been fixed now
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Me realizing my fanfic timeline dates are a hot mess:
Good lord, me! Pay attention, me!!
#well this is embarrassing#so turns out Jaye and Shaylock had only known each other for three years before Jaye bought that ring not seven#then it took Jaye a full year to propose#and they were engaged for three more before getting married#thank you Jaye's commitment issues#thank goodness for her grandmother edith giving her a boot to the arse#oh well it's all been fixed now#hopefully#queer writer#writers on tumblr#writer things#writeblr#creative writing#fanfiction#writer life#writer problems#ruby rose#cw batwoman#scheduled post
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infinitely funnier visuals in my head, likely because they werent subject to my actual skill level in art
#he read space facts book and found out the sun is a star and nearly got them all killed#dont ask how they didnt notice sooner i ignored that for comedic value#i dont know how to communicate that the sun is supposed to be out in the second panel#well i do but i didnt feel like coloring#i had this awesome visual earlier i was like “im gonna like color and shade in a painting style and its gonna look awesome”#and then i realized i dont know how to do any of that#so here we are#i read requiem and made like a mental plan in my head of what their home looks like and have not been able to fix it since#im too tired to tag more and i want this out of my sight before i start despising it for realsies#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#uzi doorman#murder drones n#serial designation n#murder drones v#serial designation v#nuvi#violentbitingbiscuits#i love me some nuvi. favorite ship right now#second place is jessa but like i dont know how to draw humans so itll be a while before ya see that#oh i forgot#murder drones cyn#if im being totally honest this entire thing was just an excuse to draw uzi in that second panel
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HEYY I'M ACTUALLY ALIVE AND IVE TOTALLY BEEN ALIVE SO HERES MY FAVORITE THING EVER DRAWN TODAY:
Now excuse me while i sleep until 5pm because the sun IS rising and i AM so tired
#sally face#sal fisher#sallyface#sal fisher fanart#sallyface fanart#sally face fanart#i just saw a tag that said the sf fandom OVERLOOKS lore. what fandom does that person live in#it better not have been my own tag 😭#art#artists on tumblr#digital art#fanart#sketch#emo sal fisher#2000's nostalgia#2000's aesthetic#mirror picss lol#haircut#blue hair and probably no pronouns (in the queer way)#illustration#rendering#oh boy im so excited about this one#i've been drawing like all yeat btw i just forgot my blog existed#YEAR*#im not fixing that#i feel like a fanart big boy now drawing cool fanart that actually looks accurate#the body and arms could be better tho :/#oh well!!!#hehehe
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you ever just have a lot, a LOT of feelings all at once about a character and not even remotely enough words or brainpower to FORM the words to describe everything you're feeling. so it feels like you may explode. yeah
#sorry i got really into my feelings about mark hoffman again#the very specific version of him in my brain that i really really wish i had the time and energy to properly share with you guys#saw#well until i muster the energy to explode all of my feelings out into a fic. if you want to TRY and understand#know that my three biggest hoffman fic insps right now are as follows#your best kept secret hoffman. a series of mistakes hoffman. and rushed like a dreadful wind hoffman.#there is a very clear throughline just know i am extremely emotionally compromised rn#thinking about theee fics vs the canon path hoffman spirals down#something something the absolute tragedy of watching a man's descent into madness#the transformation of a man into a monster#and what could have saved him from himself and kramer's corruption#sorry i'm rambling so much oh my god i was just having such a crying fit out of nowhere about this#do you think he could feel it happening. do you think he was aware he was losing his mind.#the script version of him fucks with me so bad. the crazed rankings and the longer hair and him not being well kept anymore#it's impossible to think he didn't know he was deteriorating#fuuuck okay i need to either chill or write a whole longfic rn#i project on that guy so much i truly don't know if i could properly write my vision of him#until i do something more substantial the full extent of my hoffman exists for me and my boyfriend only. they get me like no one else#well ginny and jenna also get me. please read best kept secret and a series of mistakes Oh My God#where am i going with this. i like tag rambling actually this is a nice way to do it without forcing EVERYONE to read my delirium#anyways if you've read all of this i think i love you? feel free to dm me about hoffman and my very specific headcanons and aus#maybe soon i'll try and start writing my fics about this tragic man#i could never say any of this on twitter btw they'd string me up for my opinions on him as a sad wet beast who could have been fixed#if only he hadn't been weaponized first#god i'm too tired to even be as embarrassed about this as i should be. thought i unlearned cringe already#but i've been spending way too much time on twitter and they HAAATE hoffman there#rip. i know it's not that serious but i'm sensitive rn and hate feeling lonely in my thoughts#ok bye for real otherwise i'll never shut up. i might tag ramble more often bc this was therapeutic in a way i needed badly#cat chat
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Huzzah! It's birthday time! I'm slowly accumulating more and more things I like (latest additions this vest I made and a travel typewriter! Still need to fix the latter one though)
Sure has been a year.
#terri#niart#got my wisdom toofies out#well 2 out of 4#still got stitches#idk if this removal lowkey fixed my fear of the dentist?#it was so easy and painless#also finally i'm on anxiety meds jkahsdjash#i also got depression meds but i haven't tested them yet#I'm going to see the love of my life soon again!!!#only 2 more months to go....#i've also finally found awesome friends who don't make me feel like i'm insane for wanting to be cared for#the difference is like night and day#old friends saying hey let's surprise another friend of ours oh also i think it's your birthday on that day#new friends reminding me to pick a brunch place for us to go on my special day#i am sobbing#the right people are out there#don't lose hope#i've never felt this platonically loved honestly#also yes i'm working on the next dragon's lair aksjdhasjkd#just#a lot of things happening and i'm sooo burnt out#this piece was such a strain and i just#don't have patience for art rn#this is photobashed btw there's an actual photo of my typewriter under all those layers#i'm not about to spend 300 hours just to draw a typewriter from this angle kajshdjkasdh#ALSO ONE MORE THING CAN I JUST GUSH ABOUT THE ANASTASIA BROADWAY OKAY?!?!?!#I didn't realise until now that they made it way more historically inspired and i mean bruh BRUH#i have been having a recording of it playing on the background nonstop for like 3 days now#Vladimir Popov I want to inject you straight into my veins holy shit he is a perfect man
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Friendlocke Violet Gijinkas (Part 4/7)
Hell yeah we're over halfway done! Isn't that crazy? I don't have too much to say here sooooooo onto the usual stuff
I plan on posting them in order by groups of three, so there's gonna be seven parts in total, all of which I'll be linking here when done vvv
(Part One) (Part Two) (Part Three) (Part Five) (Part Six) (Part Seven)
!! These will contain personal headcanons I have for the cast, little fun facts, and also spoilers for Friendlocke Violet (for both the edited vids and the streams) !!
@saltydkart-reblogs
Designs under the cut!
VRISKA:
Vriska has an extra set of arms that they can retract and extract whenever they please. However, they usually keep those arms hidden.
The long needle she's holding is her trusty sword that she's used since her pirate days. She doesn't use it as much as she used too, but it's good to keep it on her for self defense in case of an emergency.
The marks on thier neck and shoulders aren't tattoos, they're birthmarks.
Good at sewing, as she often would have to fix her coat after getting into epic pirate sword fights. Sara and Vriska are sewing buddies!
It is unknown why they're unable to sleep, but while the rest of the team sleeps they often find themselves wandering around and doing whatever they want.
Artist's note: I based Vriska's design off the fact that I wanted to make her look like a bootleg version of the og Vriska. As in "Hey that's Vriska" but also "That's not VRISKA" if you get what I mean
MALL BINGO:
Trained herself to become resistant to poison (and by "trained" I mean she just ate a bunch of poison until her body became almost immune to it... please don't try this at home.)
Often goes scavenging for items when she's doesn't feel like robbing someone. If she's lucky enough she'll find some good items scattered around because "stupid trainers often leave good shit on the ground for some reason" (due to all the items you can pick up from the ground ingame lmao)
Mal lost her leg in one of her first heists, after she and another pawmi tried stealing from the wrong person at the worst possible time.
The gun she keeps with her wasn't originally hers, it belongs to someone else.
On a more positive note, Mal has plenty of stories and tall tales to share. She learned them from the eldest in her little pawmi group, as they would often tell her stories before going to sleep. Mal will often share those same stories with Peppy Jr and Mykyie Jr.
Can and will bite you. You won't be expecting it. Be warned.
GRUNPILO:
Due to his abundantly long hair, Grunpilo often lets Mal play around with it and style it however she wants.
It is unknown how or why he picked up on puppetry specifically, but it makes him happy so who are we to judge?
Speaking of which, he creates his own puppets by hand, from simple sock puppets to marionettes on strings. The two hand puppets shown are his favorite ones though.
Sometimes he'll be found speaking to them as if they're real.
Not good in social situations or confrontation, so Mal will sometimes have to speak for him. ("EXCUSE ME! He asked for no pickles!" /ref)
EXTREMELY light, very easy to pick up.
And that's all! Only three more batches left woo, hopefully I can finish them by the end of the year lol.
#Surprisingly Vriska took the most time to come up with but the least time to draw out#which i wasnt expecting bc i am NOT good at drawing spidops at all ough#but anyways here we are! More than halfway finished with the designs! yippee!!!#been wanting to finish this batch for a while now so its nice to finally get it done! hopefully the next batch doesnt take as long ahaha...#especially with Mal ik i keep bringin up Mal but I love the stuff i came up with for her aaaugh!!!#Also sorry if Grunpilo's looks a bit weird. i accidentally put him on the wrong side while drawing him and fixed it last minute oops#and i didnt wanna flip him bc his hair is supposed to be over that specific eye... oh well it is what it is#now TAGS yippee!!!!#cherris canvas#friendlocke#friendlocke violet#violet gijinka au#saltydkdan#cw needles
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I have escaped the emotional turmoil from school, now it’s time for the emotional turmoil of erha, orv, and link click
#im back in the fucking building again#there is no escape 🫡#i just have to get my computer fixed and well be back#and now rhat i dont have a whole 6-7 part project due within 24 hours each day#its rough you guys#school is NOT easy#but umm yeah#i shall be returning with my readings soon#the dumb husky and his white cat shizun#erha#2ha#omniscient reader's viewpoint#orv#link click#i cant wait to go back to all these#its been so long#oh…#this is what odesseyus felt like#i probably spelled his name wrong#welp#i’ve returned from war#ALSO#Ive had an mxtx meme thing marinating in my drafts for the past ten weeks
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All Bendy fans who have been mean to Poppy Playtime need to apologize rn. Also if u like Bendy ur not allowed to dislike Poppy Playtime Chapter 4-
#ramblez#oh but it was kinda buggy-#the save system in batim was broken for years upon years#oh but the story-#ur right if only all the characters lacked motivations personalities backstories charm consistency etc#then theyd be great just like the ones in bendy right?#ohhhhhhh if only the playtime devs had put in more buggy boss fights ohhh if only the playtime devs had put in more useless padding#then itd be great itd be just like bendy#if only the playtime devs had put some extreme ableism into their game then itd be like batdr#like seriously? U guys just like slop when its bendy flavored and in comparision to bendy poppys a gourmet meal got it?#the huggy wuggy vent chase sequence alone shows more talent than any of the bendy games-#they even just now released a patch to fix a lot of stuff people complained abt!!#BATIMS SAVE SYSTEM HAS BEEN BROKEN FOR YEARS IF U BEAT THE GAME WHILE THE BUG WAS ACTIVE U WOULD LITERALLY#NOT GET ACCESS TO THE ARCHIVES OR ANYTHING IT WOULD JUST SEND U BACK TO WHEREVER THE BUG STARTED#Dw guys youll get ur stupid corporate made to sell merch to kids slop this time its bendy flavored so for some reason youll like it way mor#genuinely so stupid the way people talk abt poppy playtime I dont get it I dont get it at all#at least poppy playtime was made by a gay man-#and with some heart and talent and is written well#its not perfect but bendy in comparison is shit on a plate#eat up! Yum yum! Dont forget the devs hate u if u were ever mad abt the lay offs or the whitewashing or the lack of diversity or the
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coworker was going on and on about the importance of regulating your nervous system today and i'm thinking 1) you don't know what that means and 2) if i were a teenager and someone told me to regulate my nervous system i would start throwing things. frankly it's hard not to throw things when hearing that as an adult.
#and i'm being the bad guy saying no actually that's not something we can recommend without issue because that will be 'controversial'#there's also something so weird and bass ackwards about assuming that all children are in crisis right now#it's like saying they're all experiencing trauma. when that is not at all how trauma works#and i piped up and said yeah probably 50% of kids are doing fine right now re: politics and would be annoyed to be treated otherwise#like 'oh you must be so broken over this.' no. not really.#and that doesn't mean we have to bend over backwards to cater to those kids but you do have to keep them in mind#if i showed up crying at work the day after the 2016 election there would have been student and parent complaints#in 2021 my school attempted to adopt a policy requiring pre-approval to teach anything 'controversial'#with 'controversial' defined as anything two people could reasonably disagree on#so walking into a class of 30 kids and saying 'since we're all traumatized let's do some deep breathing to heal our nervous systems' is#not gonna fly. more teachers will come under scrutiny and will get in trouble. that's not something we should be telling them to do#oof sorry. multiple tangents there.#point being. even if learning to 'regulate your nervous system' was totally achievable it still wouldn't be universally accepted#and god forbid anyone have any kind of physical or psychological or emotional difference that affects their 'regulation' 🙃#it just feels like such a trap to say you can fix yourself by self-regulating. because if you fail then what?#oh god i just remembered the convo turning to 'evidence-based practices' and how she said that's bullshit and white supremacy#because you should have practice-based evidence instead...#try something and if it works then it works and it's valid is how she described that. ugh#listen I won't die on the evidence-based practices hill but so many people in my work orbit treat it like a dirty phrase#like it's just some annoying procedural hoop to jump through for no reason#you know you can hurt people by just doing random stuff to them right?!#fuck.#i am so tired. I don't want to talk about my feelings at work. I don't want to 'hold space' for 'difficult emotions'#and i'm getting tired of listening to coworkers dump their shit on me too#but can i say 'hey you are dysregulated and that is making me dysregulated'? nope. definitely not.#because the default assumption is everyone talks through all their feelings all the time. so if you're not then you're doing it wrong.#talking through my feelings is what i have a blog and a notes app and inanimate objects for#and i'm doing pretty well with all that. i just don't want to do it at work#I think i can be my 'authentic self' without blurting out whatever is in my brain at that particular moment regardless of appropriateness#okay. done ranting. sorry. if you read this far goddamn wow congrats. i love you <3 have a good day okay? <3
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Pros of dissociating so much you cannot tell what’s going on: it is easier to ignore bodily disability symptoms! Yay! Get to pretend you are healed and abled!! Able-bodied and healthy!! Yay!!!! We are the epitome of health 🎉.
Cons of dissociating so much you cannot tell what’s going on: it is easier to ignore bodily disability symptoms…. (You are NOT healed, you are getting worse!) (your body is deteriorating and all you do is pretend it isn’t happening) (uh oh!!).
-> Our body is low-key falling apart and we are simply ignoring it. This is so healthy and good. We are so able bodied.!! (/most sarcastic tone ever… This whole post is in a sarcastic and frustrated tone! Cannot recommend ignoring your symptoms at all!!! We just… Cannot get the level of care we need right now, and it is taking its toll…).
#coming back to ‘reality’ in a body that does not want to be human-shaped is actually really fucking stressful!!#like oh I’m back in the body- aw shucks all the connective tissue is fucked up! and cannot fix it! great…#tmi but fairly convinced at least one organ is prolapsed- and has been for years. which would explain the pain. but oh well cannot fix it.!#like would it kill you to not fall apart right now. this is meant to be the best years of our life. and we’re spending it in medical rooms.#people we had as peers (before we dropped out of… the world…) are finishing degrees or travelling.??#oh you went to Greece? while we spent three months in a psychiatric ward? cool. that’s. ok. cool.!!#joints are destroying themselves and we are having to pick which ones we need the least to survive + can damage more….#like- have given up on our ankles and knees. if they get destroyed then like…. at least we still have working hands#sometimes it all hits us full force and we have to face the fact our body is not going to heal magically.#torn between getting our last gender affirming surgery as soon as possible (before body deteriorates more) and just…. putting it off.?#like- indefinitely… we’ve healed from the other surgery ok#but our skin did not respond how it was wanted to. and that was before massive decline physically. so..?#and honestly we may not even win the fight with the transphobe gatekeeping that surgery right now.! he is infamous for his transphobia! so!#tired. ramble vent in hashtags again oops. should probably tag for this…#sort of vent#cw vent#physically disabled#actually disabled#disability#disabled#physical disability#dissociative system#complex dissociative disorder#actually dissociative
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F frame muscle preset wip
#this is like version 20 I think idk#I didn’t fix the sharp edge on the side of the chest honestly it’s not even that noticeable#the troubleshooting has been so annoying but I love the result#preset is pretty versatile if want lean you got it if you want bulky you can if you have two specific body sliders#maybe I’ll make variations one day but this is good for now#speaking of sliders when I figure out how many body sliders I use I add some recommendations for sliders to make the preset look better#as well as recommend some muscle skin overlays#sometime later I’ll probably ask for like three people to test the preset in game but I still gotta figure some others things out first#last two pics is just default ea muscle skin texture through the side sliders#sorry for all the bikinis just needed to show the body without it being nude :/#oh and also it dawned me that this coupled with a flat chest top would be great for more body variation#that she hulk sim is fucking cool 🗣️🗣️#mr.txt
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hey @jofiah your vtuber model is cool as fuck so i drew her.
#not at all happy with this but i cant really fix it so i guess that means its done#i tried a silhouette effect but it turned out to mix really poorly w ur hair color no matter what color i went with so oh well#my art#fanart#i guess this feels like a christmas gift but ive been wanting to make SOME kind of art of ur model for a while now#ilove her hair :3#ALSO SORRY IF THIS MODEL IS OUTDATED I PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE LOOKED HARDER
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No actually I'm gonna rant and say as someone who has been on a variety of hormone meds since I was about six; guess what every single one does? They change your body, your weight fluctuates, your body hair, the way your fat deposits, your voice, certain tissue growth, your muscles, your body odor, even stuff like your energy levels, your blood sugar, your heart rate/blood pressure, your appetite, your libido, your sleep pattern, everything. Everything can change when it comes to hormone medications.
But then when the doctor gives you them and you asked, I've always been told "well you might loose or gain a little bit of weight but nothing drastic, but you need these meds" and then the changes do end up being drastic either for better or for worst and when you bring it up they shrug you off with a "well that's normal it's the side effects of the med"
But, but when it comes to anyone using the same meds that six year old me was on, but using it for gender confirmation purposes all of a sudden these are big bad horrible medications that they start their arguments with that cause drastic horrible changes and long term effects and... It's just so mind boggling how that changes so quickly when talking about different groups of people and their needs for certain medical care
#and before anyone says 'well you were six' yes i was but even now as an adult ive been put on more meds because#my pituitary and hypothalamus still dont work its still the exact same conversation#and its the same talking points of people arguing against gender affirming care and ughhh#but its also like 'oh this is the right way to use these meds' and it's people with medical stuff#and then that anyone using it for gender confirming uses is the 'wrong way'#and then you have intersex people also who belong in this conversation because their getting medically abused by a system#that doesn't care about them only that these procedures and medications can only be used when its the 'right' cause#and by that they mean when they think you are inherently 'wrong' or they're trying to 'fix' something#and frankly its all just crap and im so tired of seeing it honestly#and like all the lovely trans and intersex and nonbinary people who have to deal with all these different things im so sorry#virus rambling
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Just when I think the day's going well, I crash a golf cart
#summer camp tag#ace is a mess#i do not have a drivers license and i havent even been behind the wheel in like 4 years since i stopped lessons cus of the pandemic#the day was going fine i got loads done didnt feel like i was irritating my director too bad#doing some paperwork for her and she says when im done well take the golf cart out while its not currently raining#im like ooh fun never been in a golf cart before i see the higher up staff in them im not gonna say no to chilling in a golf cart#i did not realise that meant i would be driving esp when she asked if id been in one before and i said no#she then asked if i could drive and i said not really thought that would be it#cus i was supposed to be studying for my theory before working towards my practical#but no she insists im driving and first off i gotta reverse outta this bay now at least i didnt have to think about gears#but i hate tryna figure out how to turn whilst in reverse in mess with my brain im not great with shape visualisation#we do all our stops its fine for the most part a lil too fast going down some of the hills#and some tight turns but my turns were always like that cus im too busy focusing on the most immediate thing#we get back i park fine and then shes like oh actually there are some more stops we can make so i reverse and turn back out#do our two stops with only minimal confusion about direction then as i go to park into the bay we came from#shes like oh actually park in the bay closest to the health centre and what i should have done was reversed and adjusted my angle#instead i drove directly into the supporting beam separating the two bays 🙃😭#i immediately turn the cart off and expect her to switch with me instead shes like laughing it off oh it was just a little bump it was fine#im like it was not that was a loud ass bang i feel so bad and then she lifts up the light cover i broke off saying its just a scratch#and i feel worse so pf course thats when the camp director comes out to check on the noise and i dont think ive ever worn a guiltier look#but theyre both laughing it off oh just having a little driving lesson :) and i am mortified#she gets back in the cart and shes still insisting that its fine and i should still park after that which i do with great trepidation#but there are no more problems and the lights still work but the cover does need fixing and i just oh my god#ive never crashed before never clipped or scratched a car so of course id crash the golf cart trying to park of all things 😭
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experiencing any level of joint pain for longer than a day or two has only reinforced my belief that ppl with chronic pain are actually the strongest motherfuckers on the goddamn planet
#marzi speaks#hi. my knees r still kinda fucked up. at some point a few days ago i hyperextended my elbows#so now those have been hurting#my traps r fucked bc i’ve been stressed and those are prone to holding tension in me#my knee pain made me walk wrong for a little bit so now i’m trying to fix that to alleviate the foot and ankle pain#oh yeah. my thumb is still tender for some reason despite the tendonitis having been healed as well#the only part of my body that hasn’t betrayed me as of yet is my spine and pelvis#i am so sick of moving and having it hurt#and like i can go about my day n shit. and have a good time#but it is always there and it is fucking annoyingggg#and ppl with chronic pain just live their whole lives like this.#and they don’t blow up and attack anyone who treats them shitty about it#and i am amazed#bc i talked to my dad abt maybe going to the doctor abt my knees to see what’s going on#bc i don’t remember injuring them at all and i don’t really feel too much improvement on a day to day#and he just gave me a stretch to do about it#now the stretch helps. but my knees still hurt. so like. what do u want from me#if i were to bring it up again he’d probably say it wasn’t a big deal. he’s seen me hobble around the house n how slow i’m moving rn#i normally run around my house. i have been walking at a pace that pisses me off bc i’m impatient#even just having like. worries that are probably exagerrated get dismissed like that has kinda made me wanna kill him a little bit#and this is something that i know is gonna heal and get better#ppl with chronic pain don’t Get That. and they are still dismissed constantly#how do you not like. murder everyone around you. the infinite patience. genuinely the strongest among us#i didn’t mean to complain in these tags as much as i did (my knees r actually doing pretty ok rn and my ankles are getting better)#but i suppose i am bitter
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laura (1944) / laura by vera caspary -- waldo and laura meet
bonus deleted scene from the movie script, with a third interpretation of their meeting --
#laura#1944 laura#vera caspary#laura hunt#waldo lydecker#gene tierney#clifton webb#lulu talks about 44 laura#lulu makes gifs#i WANTED another gif from the movie but tumblr refuses to let me move all the images around if i do more than 5 in the top of the post so!!#damn. gonna have to reshape screentogif just a hair to get that line at the bottom out. didn't see it until now#'IT'S FINE IT'S FINE I'M NOT REDOING IT!' -- lulu vandelay while making gifs bc she will NOT re-save and re-optimize YET AGAIN#oh god though i missed an s in the third gif but who's looking. who's counting. i will NOT do it again#me: okay i'll just whip this up before i go to bed.#me an hour later: .............................well. technically. that was with relative speed.#(then i had to redo one of the book pages bc i misspelled a word. sigh.) (i mean. that's a quick fix. a gif? NOT QUICK. not for a caption)#if you are thinking 'wtf? fawn-like????' i must inform you that that is in fact NOT the worst or the most uncomfortable thing#waldo says about laura in the book.#also it's been five years since they met in the movie vs seven years in the book#i do like the second and third gifs right next to each other -- their swapped positions....
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