#oh well i love the characters so whatever we ball

[beefycupcakes]

Being evil is so tiring...

When I first watched Despicable Me, I was young, my child brain just assumed that Dr. Nefario was Gru's dad and I went about a good chunk of time believing that. I was shocked years later when my friends informed me that that was not the case. Despite that, I still believe Nefario became a sort of father figure to Gru— he even referred to Gru & the gorls as his "family" in the second movie. Rise of Gru only strengthened this take of mine.

[giantkillerjack]

Me seeing art for a show I both hate and thoroughly love to roast: Someone worked really hard on this as an act of love, and I will not reblog their work just to trash the show in their tags. The artist can see the tags. I will not do it. I won't. They're not hurting anyone. I am not going to-- I'm not. I'm not, I'm not going to do it, I am genuinely not going to I'm not--not even if I want to because GODS I want to but I won't I'll just make a separate post about it or something, it's not like everything I love is so perfect anyway, and I sure wouldn't appreciate it, goodness knows so I'm not going to do it EVEN THOUGH MERLIN IS

A STUPID SHOW AND THE PEOPLE WHO MADE IT

SHOULD FEEL BAD!!!!

(The people who like it don't have to feel bad. Both because it is genuinely a moral neutral, and also, well, they've already sat through all of BBC Merlin - they've suffered enough!)

[snakeredbirdbatkatana]

I think we as a fandom really forget that Dick, and Tim are like super fucking Badass and scary.

Jason a bit too but overall everyone seems to get that the Red Hood the Overlord of Crime Alley makes people piss themselves.

Same with Damian people talk shit but overall the agreement is that Damian and Jason are scary as fuck.

But Dick has Broken bane beat the ever loving shit out of Slade Wilson he killed the fucking Joker. I do think he is doting Big brother but not in the I'll roll over and play dead type but in the you touch a hair on his fucking head and I will rip your throat out with my teeth.

Same with Tim we all love discussing the Red Robin 2009 comics but we make it like he's some sad idiot he was running missions calculating he took out the league of spiders he wasn't playing some Oh whoa is me bullshit he was kicking ass. He has contingencies that Batman is proud of.

If you think Bruce Wayne is scary well hold on meet the sons that are just fucking like him.

Like I need everyone to realize Tim and Dick are badasses and of characters didn't get nerfed so fucking hard it would be way more apparent.

If you take a step back and just look at their Training Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian are some of the best fighters in the DC universe it's not crazy to say they kick this villains ass or they can do this.

I see a whole lot of arrguments like oh they can't do this or whatever these are Batman's heirs trained to be the very best by him and others. They are standing on par with some of the scariest motherfuckers in the world.

Like put some respect on the Robin name it's certainly earned it.

*Also do you know the balls it takes to punch Batman in the face and then sit at his kitchen table and eat his food or spend his money after telling him to essentially go fuck himself. Like that is their Dad they are his kids.

Like my Dad's Batman but Also my Kid is the fucking Nightwing.

[deepestnightcolor]

Cockwarming Sam while he plays video games?

ᴀ/ɴ: Sigh. You had me at cockwarming. You did not think Sammy would get far in his games when he has got his favorite treat on his lap, did you? If so, I must disappoint.

ᴘᴀɪʀɪɴɢ: Sam (SDV) x Fem!Reader

ᴡᴄ: 1202 words.

ᴍᴅɴɪ ✧ ᴡᴀʀɴɪɴɢꜱ: cockwarming, unprotected sex, teasing, despair, pining, mentions of spit, kind of...degrading? Not really, Sam thinks of you as his cocksleeve but also loves you, Sam's dick is still pierced, that will never change xoxo.

☾ ɪ ᴄᴀɴ ᴡɪɴ ᴛʜɪꜱ ☽

It had not taken a lot for this to happen. No, quite the opposite. A soft sigh, fingers running through blond hair – accidentally bumping against a headset that adorned said hair – and some fluttering lashes had prompted Sam to smile down at you with his head tilted to the side. “What’s up, baby?” He had asked, leaning down to press a sweet kiss on your nose.

“I’ve been having this fantasy, Sammy.” Another sigh leaving your plump lips, eyes looking up at him with a faux look of innocence.

“Oh?” The way his attention immediately was on you again told you everything you needed to know – that you had him lured in already and wrapped up nice and tight. “What is it?”

Fuck, he was already growing hard beneath you. You could feel it exactly, and you knew that you did not need to make your lip quiver like that to reel him in – but you also knew that it drove him wild when you looked up at him all pouty, very obviously hiding something downright dirty.

“I wanna cockwarm you while you game.”

It really did not take much more than that. Sam’s pants had been tossed to the side quicker than you would have expected with him being weighed down on his chair by your butt, but no, your lover had gotten up with ease, pinning you to the table with his hips while shimmying down his grey sweats. You hadn’t even been able to giggle properly, his hard dick pressing against your ass a sensation that made your eyes roll involuntarily and forced you to realize that you had been craving this. No, him. Him, and his thick, throbbing cock that was already greedily rutting against your heated up skin. It hadn’t needed much, and yet with every rut you had felt like you were ready to burn.

And now you were here, impaled on your boyfriend’s cock, desperately trying to hold still, which was anything but easy with the way he was twitching and pulsing inside your cunt. And shit, your poor boyfriend was struggling so hard as well - lower lip bitten roughly, eyes watery as they stared at the screen in front of him, knuckles white while pressing random keys to puppeteer his character, his chest heaving and falling quickly as he tried to keep his hips from bucking. After all, it had been him who had come up with the idea! You know, to spice up your fantasy a little more!

"How 'bout we make a little game out of it. The first one to give in has to do whatever the winner says."

You, of course, had jumped on the opportunity, and Sam, ever the confident man he was, had only added on: "And since I know what a greedy cockslut you are, I'll give you a little bonus - if I stop playing, you win and you can give in allll you want."

He wanted to eat his words now; he didn't fucking know anymore what was going on in his game, he didn't even know if he was doing anything but walk around, duck and grab, but he was still moving!

The blond tried to move subtly, an attempt to have a small amount of friction created, but the small whine that left your lips almost knocked the air out of his lungs. What the hell had he been thinking? He was the slut in this relationship! He was the one drooling all over you as soon as the pierced head of his dick pushed past your entrance. He was the one acting like a bitch in heat as soon as you blessed him with your moans. Why did his balls have to feel so tight? And why the hell did you feel so good wrapped around his cock? “Sammyyyy,” another whine, one that went straight to his cock, because even though he didn’t see you, he could hear the grin on your face. “Don’t forget to- to play.” Shit, he had forgotten to play? Sam blinked twice, trying to focus to realize his character had found his way stuck between two trees, running without getting anywhere. But that was an easy fix, wasn’t it- “Fuck, babe! Hold still,” he snarled, head falling against the headrest of his chair as he felt your walls clench around him, your butt shifting around in his lap. You were a fucking minx, a monster, a mean little whore with the cutest voice and the best excuses – “Sorry, ‘m just getting comfy.” The sigh that had accompanied your words made Sam want to dip his head, press kisses all over your skin, and yet he was tied to the bet he had suggested, forced to keep up an act that made his cock wheep tears of pre, coating your already slick walls.

He needed to squeeze his eyes shut and feel this. Just for a moment, pretty promise! He just needed to feel the way you were his good little cocksleeve. Needed to appreciate that you were drooling over his cock, needed to engrave how desperately you tried to hold still, twitching muscles a clear indicator of how badly you wanted to take what you could have. Sam was pretty sure that if he let his fingers drag through your folds now, not only would they have been drenched but they would also have found a pulsing little clit, just begging for attention. “Sam~” Fuck. His eyes snapped open, upper body lurching forward to find out what had happened, just to find himself gasping for air at the friction his movements had caused, tearing a surprised, begging moan from you. You had no right to be this good – you had no right to sound so good, you had no right to feel so good, and you had no right to look so good with your flushed skin and pretty tits, heaving and falling quickly with the sudden rush of arousal. You were his most prized possession; did you know that? The most prized possession that brought him to the brink of insanity by cockwarming him. “You- you are gonna lose if ya keep that up,” you mused, tilting your head back to find his blue eyes. If there had been any willpower left within him, the look in your eyes was enough to make it crumble. Eyes filled with lust, drunk and cock and yet with so much mischief it made his heart roar in a hammering speed against his rib cage.

Sam took a deep breath. He could win this. He didn’t need to fuck you. He didn’t need to hammer his cock into your sopping wet cunt and coax the sweetest moans out of you. He didn’t need to have you cum over his dick over and over, begging for more and crying because it was too much. He. Could. Win. This.

You batted your eyes at him, hand reaching up to touch his cheek, lower lip bitten before you spoke: “You feel so fucking good inside of me-“ “I lose!” Sam snarled, your tits finding themselves pressed against a keyboard, hips pinned against the edge of the table. He could not win this.

[sweet1delusi0ns]

Nicknames you call naruto boys ──☆*:・ﾟ

Characters: Naruto🦊,sasuke🗡️,kiba🐺, shikamaru🀄️,shino🪲,neji🎋,Lee🥋, choji🍥,gaara⏳, kankuro🪆

Bold is them~

Fem!reader

Naruto🦊-*

You mostly call him darling or handsome, but sometimes you call him foxy just to tease LOL. At first he was flustered by darling n stuff but soon got use to it, but he never expected the name “foxy” to appear farther along into your relationship

“Y/nnnn! How does my hair look?? I’m trying something new do you like?” “I think you look great foxy!” He stopped for a solid 10 seconds before responding “ah…. Heh… are you making fun of mee?” “No I’m callin you foxy cuz your a fox!” “Literally?” “No I’m calling you hot, foxy means attractive silly” Again he paused trying to understand what is happening. “SHE THINKS IM HOT!” He hopes he said that in his head

Sasuke🗡️-*

You call him literally any meaningful name he will either be like “whatever” or about to cry, just depends what you call him. You can call him babe/sweetie/honey or whatever and he wouldn’t react but he will break if you call him “baby boy” he has issues but you can fill that void for him.

“Sasuke, let’s go to bed” “I mustn’t y/n. I’m far too busy, I will be in bed in three hours. Promise” you grab his hand stopping him from walking out the door “baby boy please. I worry about you… let’s go to bed” you can feel his hand twitch in yours, he turns to meet your eyes. His face visibly softens almost to a sad expression. “Yes, darling. Ok…”

Kiba🐺-*

Love, baby, good boy and puppy. Puppy for obvious reasons, I’ve said it before when he gets tired he wants your attention 100%. he wants to cuddle and talk literally anything as long as he has your attention, and the cherry on top is when you call him puppy. Throughout the day you call him nicknames like “Kiba baby, can you hand me my bag” or “love your going to be latee!” but puppy is only for special moments

He was irritated over god knows what and all he wanted was to cuddle so that’s what he gets! “I’d be irritated too Kiba now come hereee” “thank god! I just need some private time with you..” instantly climbed into your lap to sprawl out “of course! We can cuddle all you need puppy” you can see the dumb smirk growing in his face as he giggles like an idiot while growing red

Shikamaru🀄️-*

You guys share the same nicknames with each other so you call him things like dear and sweetie. He’s very chill with nicknames but he does find them adorable especially when they come from you.

“Shika?….Shikamaru??? sweetie?… DEAR!!!?” “WHAAAAAAATTTT” “DONT SASS ME IM TRYING TO GET YOUR ATTENTION!” “SORRY….what?” “I love you~” “god your such a pain… love you too”

Shino🪲-*

Bug boy LOL. Yes bug boy but also sweetheart mostly! He barely reacts to things you do but every now and then you can catch a little smile on his cute face~

“Sweetheart~” “yes love bug?” “Have I ever told you how cute you are?” “Ah…uhm..no you haven’t, thank you” you giggle “I can see the smile!” he quickly tucks into his shirt once he realized he has been caught

Neji🎋-*

Let’s be honest. He’s pretty. So the name must �� acknowledge his prettiness pretty boy! He always thought the name was silly “why not handsome boy?” “Because your pretty? I mean you are handsome but pretty boy is cuter!”

“Where you headin pretty boy?” “Out for a walk, care to join?…again with the silly name y/n?” “Sure I’ll join, and yes again with the silly name I’ll never stop until you love it!” He stopped responding just to talk to himself “little do you know I do…” he whispered

Lee🥋-*

He’s chooses the nicknames honestly. He’s just a ball of excitement when it come to your relationship. He’s on top of communication so nicknames were talked about at the beginning.

“Oooo can my nickname be honey bun!!! OH or maybe perfect, loving, amazing, handsome boyfriend!” “Well that’s to long for a pet name uhm.. how about just handsome, honey and love?” “AH PERFECT!” He reacts clapping his hands together

Choji🍥-*

You are very very special to him so you are the only one he lets call him big boy, because he knows that you NEVER mean it in a insulting way. In fact you mostly use it as a flirt~ along with sweetie or buds!

“God I could just eat you up big boy~” or “sweetie pie your lookin handsome today!” He is very anxious and insecure sometimes so you gotta make him feel like the hottest man in your eyes~ some times he just lays on your chest listening to all your praises and compliments

Gaara⏳-*

He doesn’t care what you call him he just appreciates you no matter what. But you decided rose would be perfect~ not just because his hair is red but you also find him as beautiful and perfect as a budding rose

“Rose can you hand me my water” “am…I rose?” You giggle “yes Gaara!” “Oh. Thank you y/n!” He flashes a smile “Aw I love you Gaara~” “I love you too..”

Kankuro🪆-*

He doesn’t care what you call him but he does find it a little hot if you call him a “bad boy” but that rarely ever happens, mostly it’s just darling, sexy or handsome (he likes compliments ok)

You can observe him applying his makeup so you can chime in “your a handsome one arent ya?” “I know right~” “ok bad boy, calm down with your cockiness-” “Mmmm call me that again~” “ok I’m leaving moment ruined.” He’s so annoying and cocky but we love him

[kekeke32]

TOUCHSTARVED trailer theme theory??

Hi guys, hi everyone. Hope we’re doing well!

SO the full version of the trailer theme is finally out on YouTube and holy shit??? It goes so HARD!!! Give it a listen here.

After rewatching it over and over again, I noticed something so I’ll map out which lyrics appear with which character for y’all to see:

Wish I could’ve added more ss but I’m on the mobile app 🥲 Anyways, I really don’t think the dev team added the characters photos randomly ‘cause check this out:

In Ais’s part, the lyrics are about a certain weakness (ik the lyrics “my weakness” refer to a person but I chose to ignore that jskdksk) and survival. This may be a reach BUT doesn’t this reminds you of Ais’s official character description? Specifically of this part: “Ais seems capable of curing you...but a sick sense of dread surrounds him. He's beginning to suspect that he may not be as in control of his powers as he thought. Can you save each other, or will he drag you down to the abyss with him?" This so-called “weakness” could be his very own powers and he’ll need the player to help him, to “survive”.

Now, about Vere’s part, I don’t have much to say tbh other than the fact that the lyrics “Cause everytime we touch” appear for the first time in his part and I guess you could say it’s related to his frequenting at the brothel? (iykwim 😏) Oh! And you could also see him being touched by a lot of different hands in the trailer. Besides that, his part ends with the lyrics “need you by my side” sung softly by the singer hmm…

Kuras’s part on the other hand, starts strongly (I suck balls at describing music so pls listen 4 urselves, you’ll know what I mean😭) and at 1:59 mins the lyrics are “Cause everytime we touch” then his face darkens a little and it stars an instrumental interlude. I don’t know what that really means but he’s sus

Mhin’s part is sung very softly as well and the lyrics “We’ve been through them all. You make me rise when I fall” are so sweet more so because I think in their route they’ll open up more to the player after going together through incomprehensible horrors and we’ll learn how to support each other <33

Finally, Leander’s part!! Now, LISTEN. His part is the reason why I even made this post in the first place lmao This mf is way too sus but first of all, the building synth progression at 2:58???? oh my god I got CHILLS. literal chills. *ahem* Moving on, his part, starts strongly the same as Kuras’s part did. Their parts are the only ones sung like that… Weird, huh? Anyway, after the lyrics “I can’t let you go. Want you in my life” at 3:49, the song gets SUPER intense and starts sounding very desperate ig?? (kudos to Dan! love his voice frfr) and Leander’s part ends with “Need you by my side”. Okayy y'all… Y'ALL. THIS IS CRAZY. In his part we have both the lyrics "I can't let you go. Want you in my life" AND "I want this to last. Need you by my side". AHHHH Leander you obsessed little bitch (affectionate)

In conclusion, there’s no fucking way the red spring team didn’t assign the certain parts of the lyrics very and I mean VERY purposefully to each LI. The parts suit them specifically well so I highly doubt it’s random but it could also just be me reading too much into this

Whatever!!! Good morning/Good night to this fandom only ^_^

[cyzi4]

𝐉𝐉𝐊 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐱 𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜! 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

How jjk characters would be with an autistic partner

Warnings: none. Just fluff.

Parings: Yuji Itadori, Megumi Fushiguro, Toge Inumaki, Maki Zenin, Satoru Gojo, Choso Kamo, Suguru Geto.

~ 𝐘𝐮𝐣𝐢 𝐈𝐭𝐚𝐝𝐨𝐫𝐢, Hyperfixates with you

Yuji is always happy to hear about your newest hyper fixation and listen to you tell him every little detail. He loves listening to your rants and will probably try and get into whatever your new interest is.

“Yuji! This game is so good. The plot is so simple but its also really well crafted and the characters are amazing and theres one that I’d really think you’d like. You have to play it with me!” You beamed about your new obsession. Yuji listened to every little detail attentively. Your extensive knowledge on your favorite topics reminds him of how he obsesses over the human earthworm series. “That sounds so fun! We can play after training!”

He likes listening to all the random facts about your interests and he even gets into some of them himself so that you two can be even closer. He makes sure to do his own research on your interests so that you two can talk about them together.

~ 𝐌𝐞𝐠𝐮𝐦𝐢 𝐅𝐮𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐨, both lack social skills

You and Megumi both lack social skills, although for very different reasons. You tend to not understand social cues while Megumi understands them, he just doesn’t care about them. However he’ll try to help you understand.

“Wait so I can’t say gn?” Megumi nods. “Some people think it means you don’t care enough to spell out the whole word” “but its more convenient?” “I know, but some people care about stuff like that” “oh..”

Megumi also makes sure to clarify what other people mean if you’re not getting it so you aren’t confused.

~ 𝐓𝐨𝐠𝐞 𝐈𝐧𝐮𝐦𝐚𝐤𝐢, mute buddies

If you’re non-verbal, you two kinda have an understanding of each other. You two talk all the time through sign language and you always understand what he’s saying when he’s speaking in onigri ingredients.

“Tuna?” ‘I know. How is gojo even a teacher? Is he even certified?’ “Bonito flakes.” The others stared at you two. “I think they’re talking about gojo. I know a little sign language and they signed “gojo” “ Nobara stated matter of factly. “They’re saying Gojo’s an idiot.” Maki stated with a bland expression.

Sometimes, you do speak, however you speak just like inumkai with rice ball ingredients. He even tries to teach you how to speak onigiri.

“Bonito flakes?” ‘No, no’ “mustard leaf” ‘ohhhh. Tuna mayo.’ ‘Exactly.’

~ 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐢 𝐙𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧, always stands up for you

Another one for if you’re non verbal. She is not afraid to get confrontational for you when someone’s bothering you. If someone even breathes in a slightly disrespectful manner Maki is staring them down with the most piercing gaze.

If it seems like someone’s invading your space, Maki will come over and physically push them out of your space. “You’re making them uncomfortable. Move.”

Someone messed up your order? Maki’s making sure they understood what you asked for. “They asked for no pickles.”

Someone speaking to you with an even slightly aggressive tone? “Speak to them like that again, asshole, and Ill make sure you never speak again.”

Maki will go to great lengths just to insure that you’re comfortable and happy.

~ 𝐒𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐮 𝐆𝐨𝐣𝐨, comforts you during meltdowns + feeds your hyperfixations

Gojo always treated you with extra care, even before learning you had autism. He’s always been comforting towards you and does his best to help with your meltdowns.

“Shh shh. It’s okay my love. Come on, wheres that smile?”

Anytime you mention even the slightest thing about any of your hyoerfixations, Gojo will have a new gift centered around it in a heartbeat. You might end up running out of places to put these gifts so gojo keeps some as little reminders of you

~ 𝐂𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐨 𝐊𝐚𝐦𝐨, steals your stims

As a cursed spirit, he doesn’t even really know what autism is. He just knows that your cute little movements mean you’re excited with something, and he thinks its a good way to show when he’s excited with something.

You squealed in excitement when you saw that your favorite tv show was on and flailed your hands in excitement. Choso saw and copied your movements when he saw the tv. “Baby look, our shows on!” “I know!!”

You once asked him about it. “well when you’re happy, you do them, and seeing you happy makes me happy, so I do them too.”

~ 𝐒𝐮𝐠𝐮𝐫𝐮 𝐆𝐞𝐭𝐨, appreciates your bluntness

Geto often doesn’t trust others initial inputs. He values your unfiltered nature and likes your blunt and truly honest opinion.

While you, Geto, and Gojo were making your way to the school, you started to take notice of Gojo’s posture. Geto noticed as well but didn’t think it was something to be brought up. However you did. “Gojo, you really need to fix your posture.” Geto slightly chuckled to himself as he watched Gojo straighten up his posture begrudgingly, slightly offended by your remark.

Another time, you and Geto were about to go on a mission when you started to take note of Geto’s appearance.“Geto your hair is getting extremely greasy. You should really wash your hair more frequently.” Geto was a bit taken aback but he was also quick to wash his hair.

…Geto also thinks that sometimes you can be overly blunt. But he loves you all the same.

[sentinelsthiccass]

TFO Actor AU Episode Three

Hobbies

Orion Pax: My hobbies? Well, I'm actually a lot like my character, a huge history nerd. Going to libraries and museums, checking out monuments and memorials... And I may or may not have snuck into places I shouldn't have to get more info...

D-16: Yeah. And just like in the movie, I get you out of trouble.

Orion Pax: I really do owe you... anyways, I also like cooking! Not sweets though, literally anything other than sweets. Not that I don't like sweets, just...

D-16: Any sweets he makes taste like dirt. He tried making cupcakes and almost burned down the kitchen.

Orion Pax: My fiancé won't even allow me to attempt to make sweets.

D-16: No need to talk about me like I'm not right here.

Orion Pax: I know... just wanted an excuse to remind people we're engaged... oh! I also like soccer. Though, sometimes I kick too hard. Like the time I nailed Elita in the face with the ball... didn't end well.

D-16, snickering: Didn't she break your arm?

Orion Pax: She broke my arm, yes.

D-16: Anyways... my hobbies now. I'm a collector of merch... specifically Megatronus merch. Yes, I am still a Megatronus fan in real life. I have a whole spare room for the stuff...

Orion Pax: You're such a dork!

D-16: Takes one to know one.

Orion Pax: Got me there.

The two giggle before D continues

D-16: I also make sweets. I'm the opposite of Orion, sweets are all I can make. Yet, ironically, I'm not much of a sweets person. So usually I just make it for others.

Orion Pax: We really are meant for each other...

D-16: Let's not get too sappy on camera, babe... lastly, and you're not gonna believe this... meditation. I meditate.

Orion Pax: He meditates.

D-16: I can absolutely be an aggressive person at times. So Alpha Trion suggested meditating to calm down. It actually does help, so I do it when angry or stressed or upset... you get the gist.

Orion yawns and leans on D, head on his shoulder.

D-16, chuckling: Looks like it's time to get some rest.

Orion Pax: Noooooo...

D-16: We can cuddle while we curl up together~

Orion Pax: ...fiiiiiine.

D and Orion start walking out. Orion ends up nearly falling over in his tiredness, so D scoops him up to carry him home.

---

Elita-1: My hobbies? I've got a few... gymnastics being one of them. I'm pretty agile, so it's right up my alley, you know?

B-127: I've seen her do some crazy scrap in gymnastics.

Elita-1: Oh yeah. But that stuff is super advanced takes ages of practice.

B-127: How long have you been doing it?

Elita-1: I've lost track... anyways, I also do boxing.

B-127: Anyone could have guessed that one, considering how often she punches people. Good sport for her, huh?

Elita-1: Oh, shut up, you little yellow pest.

B-127: Rude... but yeah, she is good at it, I go to all her matches to show my support, just like how I go to Orion's soccer games to cheer him on and D's conventions to help him carry stuff!

Elita-1: You are still a little pest at times... but you know we appreciate that, we appreciate your support. You're a good friend, B...

Elita pats B and B giggles.

B-127: Awwww, you do like me!!

Elita-1: Shut up before I take it back... anyways, I can't really think of any more off the top of my head... you can go, B.

B-127: Ooooh, okay, my turn! First off, I'm a huge techie! I love working with technology, be it repairing things, building my own inventions, stuff like that!

Elita-1: We rely on him to repair our scrap so much... but he always yaps our audials off as he repairs things.

B-127, giggling: I do talk a lot, huh? Anyways, this isn't limited to regular tech stuff, either. I also love building things in general with whatever I can get my hands on. One of the rooms in my house is an entire advanced Lego city, complete with working stoplights and a remote control train.

Elita-1: Seriously? How long did that take?

B-127: Dunno... anyways, lastly, I like drawing! Mainly just little doodles, nothing much.

Elita-1: You probably draw like a sparkling.

B-127: Hey!

[songsofadelaide]

"Lives have grown roots around each other. We both know the truth is, we don't really care to find any room to doubt each other. We're tied by the roots of whatever we share."

Zoology major!Laios x crim student!reader who were introduced to each other by your mutual friend, physics major!Marcille, whom you took general education subjects with. You and Laios couldn't be any more different from each other, but you unexpectedly clicked after going on one coffee date together. He is a pretty lively character who is chronically online, and his Instagram is filled with his fascinations— reptiles and amphibians. He mentioned that he wanted to go for a herpetology masters degree when he graduates.

Laios was equally interested in your aspiration to become a lawyer, and eventually a judge. You told him that your pursuit of justice stems from a deep-seated desire to see something happen— and you joked that it was a long story for another coffee date— which he quickly agrees to. (When asked about your date, he told Marcille that you were cute. You said the same thing. Marcille felt like an accomplished matchmaker. She asks you guys to tell her more about your next date, too.)

Your different majors meant different class schedules, so you two try your best to meet up whenever you can, especially when you both have your vacant hours. You follow each other on Instagram now, and he posted a photo of your coffees and sandwiches and his mysterious, faceless date with the caption "🦎💗🦎", to which his many friends and followers blasted likes and comments on.

"Oh, Marcille just texted me. She said this is a... soft launch? Does she mean soft lunch? Sandwiches are soft and light, after all."

You laughed. And Laios swore the sound was sweeter than his coffee.

Your friends and blockmates are both baffled and amused by the handsome zoology major frequently showing up outside the Faculty of Law building on campus with your favourite snack and drink onhand. Likewise, Laios's blockmates are puzzled by your presence in the College of Science building, usually just to drop off some energy boosters for him. (You bring him orange eggs and fish balls every once in a while since you both like them, but you always remind him to eat well and eat full meals.)

Laios made your supposedly grueling days in uni much more fun than you anticipated. Criminology wasn't for the weak-hearted and you had your challenging days, too. But Laios was so full of life and his carefree smile was something you wanted to protect, along with the rest of society. On your second anniversary, he gifted you a very detailed bearded dragon plush. While his major required him to be on the field most of the time, he always made sure to call or message to update you on his whereabouts and what he and his blockmates have been doing. Most of the time, you don't hear him say how much he misses you when you fall asleep while on video call.

You did not choose to call it quits when the time for majors came. Laios wasn't one to give up on something he adores— he loves— so why would you? His pursuit of knowledge for his favourite cold-blooded creatures brought him to James Cook University in Queensland, Australia, while you continued your pursuit of justice as a law student in one of the finest schools in your very hometown.

Laios returns home to you after three years in the Australian outback and marshland— taller, tanned, stubbly and still so lively. He was still the same dreamer you met so many years ago, and you're suddenly filled with dread that you might be holding him back from a life that suited him more. When he noticed how withdrawn you became, he was suddenly filled with dread that he might be too much of a distraction to you as you continued law school. Marcille wasn't having any of that, though, and carefully orchestrated a way for the two of you to bring your concerns to the table, just like how she orchestrated your first meeting.

"I love you," he said, but it's not his words that pull at your heart, but the way his eyes lit up when he gazed at you. He held you in his arms as you cried.

"I know. You still look at me like I'm made of starlight even though my glow has been dulled by so much cynicism."

Laios slept a little bit too deep that night, obviously relieved to still have you in his life. You always did like how honest he was. It was the very thing your profession required but not everyone in the field had it in them. You lay on his chest and breathed a sigh of relief yourself. You may as well be talking to the moon, but you needed to let him know how strongly you felt for him too.

"You are every good in this unforgiving world, and I know it will never forgive me for holding you too close to my heart. This world needs a spirit like yours— warm, curious, forgiving— to heal itself from its curse of indifference and unkindness."

"—come acclaimed and internet famous herpetologist— a reptile lover, people! In case you don't know what that is— wildlife educator and conservationalist Laios Touden! We're glad to have you with us today!—"

"—sure is all mine! Glad to be he—"

"Oh, turn that thing up, Falin!" You excitedly stepped out of your bedroom and found your sister-in-law Falin humming to herself as she helped herself to a glass of juice in your kitchen. She reached for your TV remote and turned up the volume.

"That interview's today, huh? Are you going to watch all of it? You have a trial to attend to, right?" She asked you with a small smile on her face.

"Just seeing his handsome face already cheers me up so much," you replied to her with a dreamy sigh. "But anyway, you're right! I should head court now. That's what he'd want me to do."

"I'll look for links to the interview online if you want."

"Thank you, Falin!"

The young woman left at home in her brother's house turned her full attention to the interview this time, an amused smile on her face as she watched and listened to his television interview.

"—you know, my wife is a Supreme Court Justice, one of the youngest ones, too! And I'm really proud of her for that. On her first day on the job, she reopened a cold case relating to the deaths of several environmentalists from 200X. It was such an old case, but it was important to her, and to me, to an extent. Her family was par—"

"—nly able to do my job, happily at that, is because of her will to protect environmentalists and put those responsible in jail—"

"My, he sounds so eloquent. I suppose a certain judge helped him with that," Falin laughed to herself. "I should call Marcille and tell her about this interview, too."

[welcometothejianghu]

Welcome to another round of W2 Tells You What You Should See, where W2 (me) tries to sell you (you) on something you should be watching reading. Today's choice: 死亡万花筒 / Kaleidoscope of Death.

Kaleidoscope of Death is a 2018 Chinese webnovel about two young men who fall in love while basically playing a whole bunch of horror-themed escape rooms that can for-real kill you.

This novel was gripping. I could not put it down. It started out fun and ended up ripping out my heart several times. It does a good job getting the ball rolling with a series of adventures in weird worlds, then turns into a meditation about grief and loss and what it means to have something to lose in the first place.

This is the first time I've ever done a book rec! I'm doing it in conjunction with a rec post for the Spirealm, and originally I was just going to do this as a bonus section for that post. However, I felt they both deserve whole different posts, because they both have very different things to recommend them. I also think Kaleidoscope of Death a 100% necessary read if you've seen the show, because it provides some context that the show simply cannot include -- but it's not a necessary read before you see the show.

Therefore, I'm going to give you five reasons I think you should sit down with this one, and not a single one of these reasons is going to assume you've watched the Spirealm! The book is great and deserves to be read on its own merits, and then if you then start watching the drama afterwards, so much the better.

1. All the Cross-Dressing

(Yeah, I'm going to punctuate this one with screencaps from the Spirealm, because otherwise it's just a wall of text.)

I'm not going to tell you why the male characters frequently dress and pass as women, since the book explains the practicality of it better than I could. You just need to know that they often do, and it's never not kinda hot when it happens.

When you first meet Ruan Nanzhu, it is as Ruan Baijie, a stunningly beautiful and noticeably tall woman. Lin Qiushi, our POV character who is extremely confused for a number of reasons, spends the first whole arc talking and thinking about Baijie like she's a girl. In fact, one of the cutest things about sweet, earnest Qiushi is that he clocks Baijie several times, and every time he's just like, oh, she's so flat-chested, how unusual for a girl, anyway...

And this isn't even just dressing up! Stepping into the door worlds changes you physically based on your clothing and cosmetics. Nobody inside looks the same as they do outside, and nobody looks the same inside as they did last time they were inside. The rules that govern these transformations aren't even clear to the characters themselves! So, you know, have fun with that.

I'm going to say it's not an out-and-out trans thing, in that we're not dealing with an AMAB egg who will crack someday. Ruan Nanzhu is a very male-identified, penis-having man! He's just also pretty entertainingly comfortable with performing whatever gender makes him the most fuckable person in any given room. Lin Qiushi is not so inherently genderfluid, however, which means that when his gremlin sort-of-boyfriend makes him pretend to be a girl, it's a completely different kink.

Therefore: If you like it in any way when boys dress up like girls, you owe it to yourself to pick up this one. And if you like a fandom that likes it when boys dress up like girls, baby, welcome to the world inside the doors.

2. Those boys GAY

This is a textual romance. Lin Qiushi and Ruan Nanzhu are in love. This is a danmei novel about how they fall in love. There is kissing and there are fade-to-black scenes that explicitly acknowledge that the two of them have sex with one another. We even know that Ruan Nanzhu (usually) tops. This s not just me pointing at them and saying gaaaaaaaaaay. This is actual gay.

And it is gay that takes its fucking time. They do not actually hook up until well over halfway through the book, but they are physically affectionate from almost the get-go. Ruan Nanzhu is such a trickster and a liar that Lin Quishi finds it hard to believe that anything he does is sincere, which leads to nearly lesbian levels of wondering if it means anything when a guy demands you kiss him on the mouth when he's pretending to be your girlfriend. Meanwhile, Ruan Nanzhu is over here being the Kate Beaton comic about sitting here consumed with lust all evening.

Even once they both acknowledge what they're feeling for one another, they don't get together right away. After all, they're playing a game of life and death where they lose friends left and right. Every time someone goes inside the door, there's a real chance they won't come out again. Is giving your heart to someone worth how much it will destroy your entire life when you lose them?

(Yes, says the book. Yes, it is worth it.)

The slow burn of their relationship is delicious, in part because the physical (though not sexual) aspects of it predate the romantic ones. It also has the fun hot-and-cold aspect where Ruan Nanzhu is incredibly affectionate inside the doors, then icy outside of them. Poor completely inexperienced, never-been-kissed Lin Qiushi does not know what to make of any of this. He can barely manage parenting a cat. He does not know how to handle a boyfriend who is also a girlfriend who is also (spiritually) a cat.

I also find it charming how much the gay part of it both is and isn't an issue. It's not that Lin Qiushi has a problem being in love with a man; however, the fact that Ruan Nanzhu is a man does mean the heteronormally indoctrinated and relationship-inexperienced Lin Qiushi takes much longer to realize what exactly those feelings he's having are. The book's world is one where heterosexuality is the assumed default, while queerness is unexpected but everybody's still pretty cool with it. Besides, no one's going to judge Lin Qiushi's gay yearnings, because who doesn't want to fuck Ruan Nanzhu?

3. HAKO ONNA HAKO ONNA HAKO ONNA

So as I was reading through @zintranslations' earlier chapters, I kept seeing translators' notes down at the bottom about being so excited to finally get to the Hako Onna arc. Okay, I thought, this is a lot of hype; I hope it doesn't disappoint.

Friends, it does not. This is the arc I was reading while screaming into a pillow. It's thirteen chapters long, tied for the longest arc in the book with the first door. It is a fucking nail-biter. It does the clever thing of taking all the things you've learned about what can happen inside the doors and combining them for a worst-case scenario.

The setup is pretty simple: There's a bunch of boxes. One has the exit. Most are empty. Some have things that help you. Some have things that hurt you. The more things you find that hurt you, the more things there are to hurt you. And you have to open the boxes.

All the door arcs are pretty well-written, so that you can more or less play along with their various adventures. Hako Onna, however, is exceptional. It's so complicated, but you can actually follow it. And you need to be able to follow it, because the multiple emotional gut-punches that happen in this arc all depend on understanding how the rules of the game have just been leveraged to fuck someone over.

Now I really want to play the board game -- which I was pleased to discover is a real board game! And speaking of board games...

sidebar: Betrayal at House on the Hill

I know this isn't technically related to the novel at all, but if you like board games, horror, and being incredibly dramatic, you owe it to yourself to try out Betrayal at House on the Hill.

It goes like this: You and several other horror-movie archetypes wander through a mansion, "building" it as you explore it, so the game layout is different every time. At some point (and it's based on so many random factors that you never know when it'll be) someone triggers a condition, and the haunting begins. All the players then get the rules of haunting explained to them -- except for one player, the one picked to do the titular betrayal, who gets a different set of instructions and becomes the antagonist. From that point on, the game is about either surviving or completing the haunting, depending on which side you're on.

I have played this game before with normal board game people, and they were like, eh, this is fine. I have also played this game before with theatre kids who RP and LARP, and we all had a fucking blast. So I'm going to warn you that you have to choose your crowd carefully. This is a game for people who do improv and voices.

4. The art of losing isn't hard to master

The book has a high body count -- higher than the show's, in fact, though that's related to how the book also has more characters than the show does. When you meet someone who can go into the doors, be careful how much money you'd lay on their survival.

Death after the doors comes so quickly, too. There's barely any time to say goodbye, if there's even any time at all. Often there's just a phone call telling our main characters that one of their friends or allies or enemies is gone.

Everyone who gets the chance to go through the door worlds is only able to do so because they're dying already. The more doors they pass, the more they get to kick that death further down the road -- but the more doors they enter, the more chances they take that they might die inside one. So really, none of the players can be that resentful of being forced to play a game that can kill them, since they're already playing it on borrowed time.

I will say, somewhat cryptically, that the book has a positive ending that leaves open the possibility for other positive things. The path to that positive ending, though, leads through some pretty wrenching takes on living through grief. It's not even all rah-rah and it-gets-better, either -- the text acknowledges many times over what it means to have someone that life isn't worth living without.

And that's maybe not what you expected from a BL horror adventure webnovel, but it's what you're gonna get! Ha ha!

5. What He Is

Which is the title of the first extra chapter, which is not extra at all, but is in fact a necessary explanatory piece that whacks you upside the head like a two-by-four and recontextualizes the entire story.

...Yeah, that's all you're going to get from me about that. You'll understand when you get there.

Have you put it on your reading list yet?

The way you have to read it is a little convoluted: @zintranslations has chapters 1-17 and 63-end + extras. Taida Translations has chapters 1-62. So no matter where you start reading, you're going to have to switch sites at least once.

There are also apparently Portuguese, Indonesian, Russian, and Spanish translations too? And the original Chinese webnovel, of course. And some audio dramas and subs linked to from this Carrd, which helpfully has other information, like content warnings for specific chapters, in case the horror aspect of the story gives you pause.

Anyway, once you're done reading it -- or even before you're done! -- you should absolutely go watch the Spirealm. I think it's clear from both rec posts that I definitely like the book better, but I appreciate having the drama to bring so many scenes to life, and I think the casting is great. Also, I don't think reading the book makes you like the drama less! Rather, I think reading the book gives you insight into the awkward and sometimes terrible choices the drama had to make to survive -- which in turn gives you the ability to see through those choices, on to what the show always wanted in its heart to be.

I do find it funny how "Kaleidoscope of Death" and "Death's Kaleidoscope" technically mean the same thing, but they sure read different, don't they?

[sheisjoeschateau]

"Oh, so we DO love Steve..." | PART IV

************************************************************************

Steve Harrington x Bauman!fem!reader enemies to lovers, heavy angst, hurt/comfort, upside down mayhem, S2-S4, post S4 universe hot-take, end-of-the-world / dystopian setting, ugly fights turned smut (...but with hella plot). 18+

CHAPTER WARNINGS: major character death (?), more plot-driven smut, strong language, anxiety-inducing themes, panic attacks, co-dependency, hot n heavy but low-key emotional s*x. MINORS, DNI. 18+

⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆ SERIES MASTERLIST ⋆⁺₊⋆ ☾⋆⁺₊⋆

When you do manage to get yourself out of bed and dressed for the day, which consists of an oversized long sleeved shirt that you stole from your uncle (because you liked it) along with some leggings and long white socks, you tell yourself to take a deep breath and accept whatever fate awaits you.

You've made your bed (literally, and figuratively speaking) so now you have to... well, not lie in it...

Anyway.

You walk downstairs to smell Steve at work in the kitchen, cooking up something delicious. Eddie sees you first, on the couch.

He grins and waves. "Mornin’, princess.”  

You smile and give him a little wave. "Howdy."

Robin walks in with a first aid kit to give him fresh bandages, visibly sagging with relief when she sees you.

“Oh thank God, you’re up. These kids are already on one...”

You can’t help but snort a laugh at that, taking in her frazzled state, and you ask her what you can do to help but she just says in a desperate voice, “Coffee, please, I love you.”  You grin and nod, hearing her and Eddie fussing over his dressing as you make for a hot cup of coffee.

You can hear the kids all around the corner, chirping lively from the kitchen. Even El is in there participating. Hopper’s voice is in the mix somewhere, grunting something about “indoor voices.”  Your uncle is arguing over something with Erica, balls deep in a heated debate.

When you round the corner, your eyes first land on Nancy. She’s sitting at the bar with Jonathan. She smiles at you shyly. Jonathan greets you out loud.

“Bauman Squared is up.”

The kids all get in a tizzy of excitement. Erica’s excitement is short-lived, given her intense debate with your uncle. But Dustin is rushing over to you, blabbering about something pertaining to the lifespan of canned goods, and Mike is chiming in from the table saying, “No, Dustin, hold up, okay?  So, Bauman, this is actually how it started.”

But your uncle cuts him off, asking them why they call you that when you both share the same last name. Joyce teasingly points out that he’s Murray and you’re Bauman.

Hopper adds to that, “yeah man, get with the program. Your niece is our favorite.” He shoots you a wink, and you give him a finger gun of approval.

Your uncle is rolling his eyes, but shoots you a desperate look — “Coffee. Black. Strong. Gracias.”   Erica resumes her debate with him.

You grin as you move to go get your uncle a much needed cup of coffee, finding that Steve has stopped flipping the pancakes to look at you with a soft smile and scooting over a hot mug of coffee to you. 

But it’s not for your uncle. It’s for you.

“Two sugar, light cream, right?”   

The way that Steve murmurs the question to you makes you weak in the knees. You settle for giving him a tight-lipped grin and nod.

“Yeah, thank you,” you murmur back.

Steve moves to grab another mug, moving to pour another cup of straight black coffee for your uncle. You can’t help but notice the curve of his biceps as he does, secretly admiring his face while the coffee pours from the pot. The way his white t-shirt fits him just right, his gray sweatpants sitting at the jusssst right point of his hips.

You swallow. Fuck.

You get a hold of yourself before he’s handing it over to you. He winks. “It’s strong. I promise.”

You smirk back at him, raising the glass in thanks before walking it over to your uncle.

You don’t notice the way that Steve tries to hide the overwhelming thoughts in his brain, signaling his evolving feelings for you.

And you also don’t notice now Nancy catches it, or how it uncomfortably makes her heart seize...

But you do notice your uncle staring at you with those damn all-knowing-eyes, while Erica incessantly jabbers on about whatever the hell they’re debating. You and Murray exchange the quietest but most intense glares.

And Hopper's got half a donut hanging out of his mouth as he happens to catch the tail end of this. He wants to ask, but decides it’s best to hold off on that.

***

The day goes well. The house is always staying busy, so it keeps you all that way. Hopper is calling for a family meeting in the living room, which gets everyone in a tizzy.

The boys will always, at some point, try to take over. It takes both Joyce and Hopper to set them straight.

Your uncle makes sure to throw in his usual statement: “peanut gallery hours will follow the meeting, thank you.” 

This meeting is no exception, and it goes exactly like that.

Will makes great points, as always — and he is allowed to, along with El, given their ties to the supernatural.

Jonathan and Nancy always listen the best. One of them takes notes.

Normally, you sit next to your uncle or Eddie while Steve always takes a seat next to Robin. 

But this time, as you sit next to Murray at the end of the couch listening to Hopper try to push through his conference lecture while Dustin interjects like crazy, your heart flutters as Steve moves from the staircase over to sit on the arm of the couch -- next to you.

You sit still, not letting yourself react or look up at him. But you also forget to breathe. Thankfully, he’s too busy telling Dustin to can it so he doesn’t notice.

Robin is slowly shifting back in her seated position in the large loveseat, having been prepared to make room for Steve. She’s too grateful to have it to herself to feel suspicious yet.

Eddie, however, clocks it. What “it” is, necessarily? He doesn’t know.  Like honestly, he’s not even in the ballpark.  But still, he notices so yay gold star.

Nancy does know what “it” is, though, when she catches it.  Or at least she has an inkling.  She’s not the note taker today, so she’s able to catch it. She wonders to herself if maybe she is just overthinking it, given her conflicted feelings for Steve while still with Jonathan.

Steve is actively participating in the conversation with the adults, and you chime in as well. Once you’ve gotten a grip on yourself.

Something is being said about needing to go on a supply run, but also how they need to get over to the main field and see what is happening at the lab — which is now squared off with all electric fencing. The kids are LOUD, demanding it be them. Hopper shuts that down real fast.

“So help me Goddddd, listentome.” — Hopper

“Kids, shh, calm down…” — Joyce

“FETUSES, SILENCIO.”  — Murray

The kids relent with rolled eyes and groans of displeasure. Hopper rubs his temples, resetting.  Then speaking —

“I will be assigning roles. You will hear them, and you will accept them.  Deal?”

Everyone nods, agreeing. Even the kids. Great, you think, so they’ve learned to know better than push their luck that far…

Hopper is assigning 4 separate groups to 4 separate tasks. 

In one group: Robin, Nancy, Will and Joyce. They will be making the supply run.

In the 2nd group: Dustin, Erica and Murray will be staying here to run the command center. Murray’s the boss. He grins, but also wants to jump off a cliff for the fact he has been assigned the responsibility of managing the two loudest kids in the group. Lucas will also stay with Max, while on lookout at base.

In the 3rd group: Hopper, El, Mike and Argyle as the driver. They’ll be assessing the damage done, pertaining to the gate re-opening. They’re on Vecna patrol.

In the 4th group: Jonathan, Steve, you and Eddie. You’ll all be venturing over the fence to spy on the lab and get a look at what is happening over there, while reporting back to Group 2.

This sends Dustin to a fit of determination, as he insists that he joins your group so that he can help with the walkie-talkie communication since Lucas and Erica can man the fort. (Murray definitely takes offense to that.)

Hopper huffs but doesn’t disagree with the suggestion. “Don’t let this give you any sort of false pretenses, kid. This is the one suggestion you’ve made that is sensible.”

Dustin just grins like a dopey idiot. Then he looks at Steve. “Yay!”

Steve rolls his eyes but honestly, he’s cool with having his buddy.

The plan is to go into effect early tomorrow morning. Meaning, everyone needs to get some good ass sleep and tuck in early.

You’re in your room now, having just showered and put on your pajamas with freshly brushed teeth. You’re putting together your combat outfit for tomorrow when there’s a knock at your door.

You expect it to be your uncle, since earlier he was going over strategies with you for an obscenely long time — which is his very awkward way of indirectly saying, “hey, you’re my niece and I love you and I’m worried about you because that’s what family does.” So you figure he’s drawn up another 10 plans to run by you, and you're happy to humor him on them.

But it’s Steve on the other side, looking shy and like he might’ve had to talk himself into doing this in fear of how you might react.

You give him a surprised but pleasant smile. He stands there, returning it timidly. There is a silence that falls over both of you. Then finally —

“Can I sleep in here tonight?”

You have to literally restrain yourself from jumping at that question with a way-too-eager oh thank god, yes. Instead, you just give him a polite grin.

“Yeah, of course,” you say.

Steve lets himself in, and he looks over to see your outfit set aside for tomorrow. He nods at it as he sits on the edge of the bed.

“Tryna look badass?”

You smirk. “I am a badass. I’m a Bauman.”

You expect Steve to scoff. To roll his eyes. Make some snide remark. But he doesn’t. He just looks at you, with that same look on his face that he had this morning while you two laid in bed together. You can’t break away your gaze for a moment, almost hypnotized.

God, he is so beautiful. Why the fuck is he so beautiful?

Finally, you break the stare down by moving to get your combat boots out from the closet and place them beside the clothes.

And that’s when you feel it. His fingers brushing the edge of your t-shirt, hooking onto it so that you turn around. You do, letting him turn you to face him. He’s looking at you intently, and slowly he pulls you towards him to cage you between his spread legs as he sits on the edge of the bed. It’s half shy, half confident. Gentle but assertive. You stare down into his doe eyes, and you hold your breath when his fingers splay across your hips as they grip onto you. You’re so close to him now, too close yet somehow not close enough. You can’t breathe.

After soaking you in, Steve reaches one arm up to pull your neck down to his face so that he can brush the tip of his nose against yours, just like you did last night. Ever so slowly, be nuzzles. Eskimo kiss.

And then his lips are finding their way to be against yours.

Steve kisses you softly, taking his time and just breathing you in. Then he sighs into your mouth as he stands so that he can lift you up, making you swing your legs to wrap around his waist and hold yourself to him there. He turns you both around, effortlessly walking you over to sit on top of the chest of drawers. Damn, he's strong. Steve places you there, lips still on yours, before he finally pulls back.  His hands glide down to the bottom of your shirt. Please, his eyes ask. But this time, he wrenches your shirt off of you with more vigor than last night. It’s urgent, and it’s still urgent when his lips crash back into yours before wrenching himself back again so that you can tug his shirt over his own head. He grunts impatiently, wanting to not be apart from you yet needing to be skin to skin. He paws and grabs at you, needy and greedy, but something about it feels a whole lot more like love than lust.

Steve tastes like summer. Sunscreen, popsicles and June. He smells like pool water and boyfriend. And he looks like a dream. 

You wonder how in the world he would have felt if he’d been told during his King Steve era that one day, he’d be having sex with that one student who graduated a year early and didn’t belong to any niche crowd or group or clique. You wonder if he would scoff at that, wave it off. Say, nah, that girl? Never.

But the way that Steve keens into your neck right now, murmuring sinful names for you like angel and baby, makes you wonder if King Steve wouldn’t be able to understand that the new and improved Steve Harrington might just happen to be into things he never was into before. Maybe he’d gotten close with Nancy. Maybe you were a rebound. But he didn’t kiss you like that. Or treat you like that after your first time, for that matter...

And the second time was just as euphoric as the first time, just different. Steve was more in control, clinging to you and unafraid to go for it.

Before you know it, you’re up against the wall with your bare chest against it and your legs spread widely and his mouth on your ear. Tugging at your earlobe with his teeth and his shaky breathing, infused with his pleasured grunting humming inside of your eardrums. You pant and bite back the screams that you so fucking badly want to release. but you don't, not wanting to wake the entire household or get the attention anyone awake.  However, you made sure that he knew you were in pure fucking bliss with the way you arched your back into him and dripped all over his girth.

“Been wanting to be here inside you all day,” he rasped, thrusting against you. “Didn’t wanna leave this room.” His words break up as he pounds himself deeper into your guts. “Needed to — to — n-n-need you —”

You throw your head back against him, climaxing at his words for the second time in a row tonight. His arm linked around your waist tightens, gripping you like a lifeline, and he chokes into your ears — which only sends you into an orgasm unlike anything you’ve ever felt in your life. And Steve shares the exact same experience as you do when he ejaculates inside of you.

You both pant and gasp for air, your heart rates racing at lightning speed and trying to level out. You’re both slick with sweat and sex, and as Steve rests his head against your shoulder it sends chills up your arms when his hair flops and tickles your bare skin.

Steve pulls out of you, and you shiver as you feel him leave your body, inch by inch. The loss of him is overwhelming, and your legs shake. But before you can even move to catch yourself, Steve is already turning you to him with a steady grasp on you.

The way that Steve strokes your hair, moving it out of your face as he stares into your eyes again, is priceless. You can’t help it…

“You’re beautiful, Steve Harrington.” You breathe it against his face, still catching your breath. The corners of your lips twitch, almost like you want to laugh or smile. “I can’t stand you.”

Steve looks at you like you’re all that matters in this world. The pads of his thumbs stroke the skin under your eyes, softly, gingerly. He moves to press his lips to the corner of your mouth, breathing against it, “I can’t stand you either.”

Feather-like kisses are pressed to the corner of your mouth and cheek, and you revel in the glory of it, pressing your skull into the wall with your eyes fluttering shut.

Steve falls asleep first that night, with you tucked underneath his chin and with his arms holding you protectively. You let the sound of his steady breathing lull you to sleep.

***

The next morning comes sooner than you’d like.

You feel someone squeeze you tightly to them, pressing their lips to the crown of your hair before they roll out of bed. You watch as Steve’s back muscles flex while he tugs his sweatpants back over his boxers, then throws his shirt back on and heads to your little en-suite bathroom for a few minutes. You force yourself to sit up, knowing that it’s time and you’ll need to get ready.

Hopper would be so mad if he knew about the 5 hours of sleep you got, versus the 8.

You’re pulling out a pair of socks to go with your boots when Steve emerges from the bathroom, and before you can stand up and move to switch places — he’s cupping your cheeks to kiss your forehead in two lingering pecks. You smile under his touch.

You give him the shyest of looks before going to brush your teeth, re-shower and get changed.

Steve quietly murmurs to you the promise of coffee as he leaves. And he is all you think about in the shower.

You get changed into your army pants, combat boots, and fitted t-shirt. You grab yourself a windbreaker and throw your go-bag over your shoulder, ready to face the day.

Dustin is securing the command center with Murray and Erica, while Mike comes over to you carrying snacks.

“Here, I set extra aside so that you have plenty.”  Mike always treated you more like a sister than Nancy, and it doesn’t go unnoticed by her. You ruffle his hair and give him a quick squeeze, grateful.

Lucas and Will are asking you questions about the trip, along with Mike, and you assure your kiddos that you’ll all be fine.

Hopper comes over to you with Murray, entrusting you with one of their guns. “You’re the group's team lead today, along with Steve.”

Steve’s got his nail bat, along with a pistol.

Murray is going over the inner workings of the lab’s field layout with you and your group.

“The break switch is in this building,' he's saying. "But thanks to Erica and Dustin, we’ve got a way of hacking into it at exactly this time. You’ll have this much time to mount the electric fence and get to the other side. Seize. Those. Minutes. Haul ass. Get to the other side.  No asking why the chicken crossed the road. Capiché?”

The way that Jonathan, Eddie and Steve repeat the word back to him makes you visibly bite back a laugh.

Joyce is giving everyone the nurturing mama bear talk, hugging everyone too many times — especially Jonathan. She has Will in her group, so she’ll be a little more sane in the head thankfully.

Nancy and Jonathan are giving each other an affectionate goodbye that Steve doesn’t even notice. Nancy wonders if he does. Silently, and selfishly, she hopes he does. But he doesn’t.

Robin is rambling about something having to do with a jump-ship plan in case the jump-ship plan doesn’t work, and if they need to establish not only a 2nd abort —

“— but maybe even a 3rd abort? and wait is there really enough backpacks that they’re taking to fit all the supplies and can goods that they — ”

“Oh my god, Robin, please breathe,” Steve cuts her off.

“Wait, what’s the jump ship plan?” Argyle’s question makes everyone whip their head in his direction with incredulous looks on their faces.

Hopper looks ready to slug someone but also like a nervous dad. After he goes back over the plan for everyone, giving the bullet points, he tells you all to eat your breakfasts and be by the front door within 30 minutes or else.

Lucas takes his plate up to sit with Max. El comes over to talk with you about the day, saying that she’ll send a signal if she sees anything dangerous headed your way at the lab. She gives you a tight hug, which tugs at Hopper’s heart. He and Murray share a very rare, quiet moment with an exchange in their eyes. Our girls.

Steve is telling the boys and Erica to follow him upstairs to Max’s room to join Lucas for a motherly pep talk, and they all follow him like chicks following a mother hen.

Eddie is being given strict instructions by Robin to follow orders and not rip his stitches that she’s worked hard at keeping in tact by mounting the wall --

...“and be on the damn lookout only so help me god or else I’ll rip them back open myself,” she threatens him.

Eddie visibly swallows and nods at that, believing her.

Suddenly Nancy is walking up to you, as you stand there still hugging El while looking over Murray’s shoulder at his computer system setup. She looks nervous as you turn to her.

“Hey, umm, keep an eye on them, will you?” she asks shyly, sheepishly. “I worry about them. Especially Dustin.”

You know she meant Steve. “Yeah. Of course.”

Nancy nods awkwardly, grateful you didn’t correct her and a little embarrassed. She points to the gun on your back, giving you a tight-lipped grin. “Glad it’s you handling that bad boy.”

She flashes the same one across her back. You chuckle lightly, agreeing with her. “Yeah, the last thing we need is for Eddie to get his hands on this or else he’ll murder the whole town.”

Nancy giggles.

Eddie snickers at the joke, appreciating your dark humor. He gives you a wry smile. “Thanks princess, but I only prefer bone crushing, eye sucking curses.”

You all eat some whole wheat eggos (even El) and some scrambled eggs. Plenty of water, plus some coffee.

Steve walks in to scoop up his plate during the last 10 minutes, and Hopper takes pity on him — given that he’s been with the kids.

“You get an extra 5,” Hopper tells him.

“Appreciate it, Hop.” 

Steve carries his plate over to the table, moving to sit by you and Murray — who does his best to just stare down at his coffee and ignore catching this in his peripheral vision. Sip, slurp.

It’s a quiet breakfast. Tense. Stiff. Everyone is nervous. This stuff never does get easier…

***

The kids all boom back down the stairs, loud as ever.

And everyone is out the door on time, minus the extra 5 minutes that Hopper secretly gave for Steve’s benefit. Thankfully, it goes unremarked but the kids.

You all put their hands in a circle because Dustin insisted a while back that you cannot all part ways without a group huddle. So it’s now become tradition. Everyone fist bumps in unison, and the four groups embark on their separate journeys.

Group 1 does well, making it into town. They have the bottom tier level of risk, which Hopper did intentionally for Joyce and Will's sakes because those are his hearts. He also adores the two girls, Nancy and Robin, of course. They carefully fill up Joyce’s car in doses, trying not to attract attention as everyone has a strict evacuation mandate that goes into place next week along with a food supply limit. They’re ahead of the game, doing everything not to give away what Dr. Owens warned them about.

Group 2 is in full swing, back at Casa Harrington. Erica and Murray bicker like a married couple, but they also high five. Lucas makes sure that Max is safely tucked in, giving her a kiss on the forehead and a promise to be back upstairs in a few hours.

Group 3 is cautious. They have to calculate every single move, given the risks. El uses her senses to tap in, blindfold on and static on the van's radio ringing throughout the car. Mike keeps watch, along with Argyle at the wheel — and Hopper navigates.

Group 4, your group, is en route. You have the longest journey to make on foot, making sure to keep their strength. Jonathan keeps watch of time, and Dustin hangs into the walkie-talkie to keep contact. You scan the area, and so does Steve, as you all walk. Eddie sings to himself to keep from wigging out, and it’s definitely giving mumbled panic.

You are telling everyone the ETA, using the compass. Steve tells the gang to keep the same pace so that they make sure they aren’t there too soon or too late, wanting to time it right with Group 2’s orders.

At some point, you gesture for everyone to pivot directions, and when Steve steps in your direction — he instinctively reaches out to brush the small of your back. It’s so subtle… yet so telling.

Eddie cocks an eyebrow mid-song, ceasing the mumbling altogether for about 2 solid seconds, before resuming as he walks. Even Jonathan raises an eyebrow, silently smirking.

Dustin misses it entirely.

Then Dustin starts communicating back and forth on the walkie-talkie with Erica, and as they start to bicker Steve interjects.

“Hey, dingus, cool it and listen to what she’s saying, please.”

Dustin huffs, whining, “but she’s wronnnng...” 

You squint in the sunlight as you look back at him, saying simply, “Listen to your mother.”

Steve doesn’t even flinch. You both just look back at your son expectantly. Dustin sighs but obeys.

Oh that definitely makes Eddie and Jonathan share a look.

Back at base, Murray is struggling to access the switch for the electric fence closest to where Group 4 (you guys) is approaching. He and Erica work hard at it, and Lucas helps as he keeps open the line of communication with Dustin via the walkie-talkie.

“This east side gate is a bitch,” Murray is griping over the channel.  “Hang tight, just pause when you guys make it there.”

Dustin and Lucas are going back and forth, while Jonathan tries to keep up with what they are all saying. 

You can see the fence up ahead, and so does Steve. 

Eddie’s singing gets louder.

Nancy speaks over the walkie-talkie channel: “Group 1, reporting.  Over.” 

Dustin speaks.  “Group 4, tuned in.  Over.” 

The other groups tune in, too.  Nancy continues in a hushed voice.  “Food supply is running low so we’re going to double up.  The mandate will be really strict.  Can’t take chances.  Over.” 

Jonathan tells her to keep them posted with the ETA.

El comes onto the walkie-talkie, asking for you. 

You take it, speaking: “Bauman squared, I copy.  Over.” 

Eleven tells you that she can see you all headed there to the lab, and that no one is nearby.  You’re safe. 

Hopper adds: “But Eddie, make sure that you stay tuned into this channel and relay it to Dustin just in case.  Over.”

Eddie’s song of woe dies on his lips with an anxious exhale.  “Roger that, over.”

Steve speaks up, “Alright guys, we’re here.” 

Dustin signals Murray, right on cue.  You all stare up at the looming electric fence in front of you.  It’s tall.  At least 30 feet up.  You gulp.  So does Jonathan.  For Steve, it’s easy.  For Dustin, well, it’s exciting.

Jonathan adds to the relayed info, addressing Murray, saying, “Yeah, uhhh, it’s pretty high up man?” 

Murray’s tone comes through, crisp.  “How high is high?” 

Jonathan visibly shrinks back as he squints in the sunlight. “Like...25-30 feet?”

Murray curses on the other side, frustrated.  “Alright, hold please.”

Steve turns over to face you all, starting with you.  “It’s gonna be a helluva climb.”

You nod.  “We’ll have to double up the speed, guys.  But for safety, let’s just do two at a time.”

Jonathan’s brow furrows.  “Why?”

You tell them it’s safest this way.  This way, two people can gauge the timing of it just in case.  Dustin immediately demands to go in the first group, which Steve shuts down promptly — like all good mothers would with their favorite child.  He starts to onboard Jonathan, but you’re already saying you’ll go as you tighten up your bag.  Steve looks at you, hesitant. 

You look back at him, giving him a nod.  “No arguments.”

Steve sighs through his nose.  “Yeah, I figured as much.” 

He’s so sexy when he isn't actually hating you, and instead just consistently miffed with you…

“Group 4, listen up,” Murray’s voice comes over the walkie-talkie.  “I’m signaling the switch now.  On my mark, it will take exactly 3 minutes for it to activate.  You’ll have 60 seconds to climb it.  Up and down.  That’s it.  Remember what I said: haul ass.”

Dustin responded back with a sigh, “Steve and Bauman Squared insist on going two at a time so…”  He dreads the next question, cringing before asking.  “Any chance you guys can…do it…twice?”

You turn around, waiting to hear your uncle’s reply and wondering if you’ll need to step in.  His befuddled response confirms, yes you will, and you walk over to take the walkie.

“Uncle Murray, it’s not very sturdy.  It’s too big a risk, four at a time.  If you can’t do it, then just me and Steve will go.  What can we do?  Over.” 

You speak matter-of-factly, which Steve appreciates.  He stands with his hands on his hips and tongue between his teeth, all hot and mom-like.  Even though for you...he’s giving daddy.

Eddie has been pacing a trough into the grass.  Please let me have company, he thinks.

Jonathan’s just quiet, wondering if now is a good time to tell everyone that he’s actually afraid of heights. 

Dustin just wants to fucking climb already.

“Workin’ on it.  Standby.”  Your uncle’s monotone voice makes you all wait. 

You stare up at the fence while you do.  Then, turning your face over in Steve’s direction, you find that he’s already gazing over at you.  That fondness in his eyes is back, and you feel your cheeks flush under the sun.  But it’s not the sun making you blush.  Steve's hands are still on his tips, and he gives you a tiny wink before turning to look back at Dustin with the walkie-talkie.  He tells his kid not to stress about it if they can’t come, which only starts a back-and-forth argument between mother and son.  But Erica’s voice cuts through it over the walkie.

“Group 4 nerds, listen up.  We found a way to do it.  Over.”

Dustin pumps his fist in glee.  Jonathan doesn’t.  Eddie realizes he’s doomed, back to being there all alone. 

Steve takes the walkie, asking, “Same timeframes, Murray?  Over?” 

Your uncle confirms it, but then Lucas is in the background saying, “Wait, are you sure this will give them 60 seconds?” 

Steve raises an eyebrow at that.  But you’re looking at the top of the fence.  The end of the other side of the line is quiet for a hot minute.  No doubt, Murray and the kids are beefing.  Re-calculating.  Beefing some more.  Getting attitudes.  Then finally —

“Erica to group 4, confirming.  Timeframes are exact.  Wait for us to signal the 2nd climb.  Standby and brace for 1st climb.  Over.”

You and Steve look at each other.  Here we go.  He fastens his backpack, reaching out a hand to you and telling you to hand over yours.  You go to protest, but he’s just insisting without budging and reaching anyway.  It isn’t until his hand starts to slide the strap down your shoulder that you huff and relent. 

“30 seconds to climb.”

“There’s a ledge up there, wide enough to stand on.”  You nod up at it as you tell Steve.  “If we run low on time, we hang there until the 2nd climb.” 

Steve nods at you, agreeing.  He turns and relays that to a very anxious Jonathan and a very antsy Dustin.  You gesture over to Dustin, telling him to toss you his backpack.  Steve goes to argue but you hold up a hand. 

“Better me than him," you say quickly. It’s a parental thing that he would insist on too, so he lets you win that one. 

Dustin obeys after seeing mom agree with…um…dad? Are you dad?

“10 seconds to climb.”

Steve talks fast, in position to pounce.  “Eddie, on go, toss that branch to hit the fence.  Double check for sparks.”  Eddie nods, picking up the large branch nearby.  You get in position with Steve.

“5…4…3…2…1…climb!”

Eddie tosses the branch.  No electric shock.  All systems go.

You and Steve hop as high as you can, climbing up like champs.  You both hustle, swiftly making the climb like pro climbers.  Steve is faster, planning to reach down and lift you the rest of the way if he gets to the top first.  But you’re almost right at the same level with him, almost at the top.

…until your bag catches.

The strap of Dustin’s bag pulls you back down.  Air catches in your throat, no scream escaping your mouth as it swings you around, unhooks and makes you fall back some feet.  But you latch back onto the wall, back down to midway.  Fuck. 

Dustin gasps, Jonathan shouts your name.  Eddie starts his shit-shit-shit chant. 

You look down, realizing that it’s way too far of a drop to just fall back down and start over.  You are literally back to the mid-way point. 

You make up your mind within a few seconds: keep going.

Steve is hoisting himself up onto the thick ledge as this is happening, and when he turns to see you lower his heart stops. 

“Bauman, what happened??"

But you keep climbing, shouting, “Steve, just keep going.” 

But Steve is not having that.  He’ll fucking wait.  Hell, he’ll wait for Dustin too.  He’s staying put.  He shakes his head, clapping his hands and reaching for you even though you still have another fourth of the wall to mount before you reach him.

“30 more seconds.”  Oh thank God, that’s plenty.

”You got this, Bauman, c’mon...” Steve’s ready to hold you again.  Anxious.  So fucking anxious.

Dustin is cheering too, along with Eddie and Jonathan.  You’re fine.  Almost there.

You look at Steve at the top, leaning over the side looking down at you. You can see the anxious anticipation in his brown eyed gaze.

“20 more seconds.  Group 2, don’t forget to wait for our signal.”

But right as Murray stops talking — the wall buzzes. 

Everything happens in slow motion.  One second feels like a whole minute for all 5 of you in your group.  Your ears perk up at the sound.  That wasn’t an insect.  That’s mechanic.  That’s —

“Was that —”  Eddie barely started to ask the question you were all wondering.

“Fuck, Bauman — !!! ”  Jonathan’s voice is panicked with realization.

Steve’s brow furrowed, alarm and horror sweeping across his entire face.

You feel a scorch so hot, fire itself couldn’t have burned as badly as the electric shock that shot through your entire body did. 

In that single second, you felt your brain short circuit.

You felt your hands get shoved away from the wall, throwing you off with blinding force.

You felt your throat snap, and you felt your heart rumble inside of your chest...

And then you felt it stop.

*****************************

:( im sorry, Steve.

author notes: I am sure that the fence thing might be weird and not accurate, but it helped my vision for how this chapter goes down. so I hope you all will be kind and not find it too "unrealistic." had to watch some stuff like the OG Jurassic Park, and get ideas for it.

tag list: @erastourvip @get0ut0fmyr00m @xprloki @eddiemuns0nl0ver @marrowfrog00 @poppet05 @wiltedflowersundertowers

[brutally-loving]

Welcome to my fuckass self-shipping blog. I am KRUEGER and you may use HE/THEY pronouns for me. Main blog is @esotericdivinity. My art account is @tenacious-brute. I would love to make more self-shipping friends, especially if our f/os share a base media!! Uhh, yes I will talk about my favorite men here- And only here. Comprehensive list of all of the ?? fuckers I have, and my DNI list below.

The Favorites, my fictional husbandssssss

I won't even lie: I don't really share my mains. I will indicate if I do or do not! And if I don't, I will not observe anyone else who selfships with them, I will ignore it. I also would possibly block if I am harassed?- But I can't foresee this happening. I am so so happy to see people who share f/os from the same media!!! Please come talk to me.

I'm gonna sort these by who I'm most fixated on followed by who I don't share, to who I do.

Choso, non-sharing as of right now (Jujutsu Kaisen) - HELLO??? UGH DOWN BAD- I'm so down bad I'm kicking my feet I'm punching mattresses it's an issue now. Sighs he's my new boyfriend AND my current fixation. Yeah. If anyone wants to talk about him with me, has any headcanons or anything, I'll love ya forever 💪🔥 (you will now find anything relating to him under the tag #krue's canon boyfriend)

Granolah, non-sharing (Dragon Ball Super) - I've had him for like. 2.5 years. Maybe more actually... anyway, he's adored. I would punch walls over him lowkey. I could yap about him tons at some point... But I won't unless prompted!! HES MY HUSSBAN 💞💞

Clavicus Vile, non-sharing (The Elder Scrolls) - I LOVE HIM YAYAYAYAYAYA He's so. Grr. I cannot defend him or my love for him but?? Whatever! He's him 💞 i have had him for over 2 years, despite consuming his media for over 10. It's kind of crazy dydhdhd. Oh well!!

Silvers Rayleigh, non-sharing (One Piece) - Actually a perfect husband idk. Uhh Rayleigh when he runs with Roger is the one I’m fixated on and absolutely adoing of. Anyway he’s gorgeous and I think we should hold hands and watch documentaries… I've had him... for not long. But this doesn't make him any less important!

Troy Calypso, sharing?? (Borderlands 3) - He is NUTS and terrible and horrible and I NEED HIM- I cannot defend this fixation. I have an AU written for him, and that is where he is my f/o!! I adore him thoroughly.

Caesar Zeppeli and Joseph Joestar, sharing (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure) - They belong together. Who am I to separate them? Polycule go???- Oh well! I might talk more about Caesar bc I feel like he needs more love, but I adore them together and want us all to hold hands. Ugh. They're everything.

Caesar came first, back in 2020, but Joseph slowly won me over through 2021-2022. And here we are. I adore them both so, and I think that I should be able to love them so so much 💞 pretend Joseph doesn't have canon events that are important to some things... I need him with Caesar and I- In my mind, they're in a vacuum and that's it. Susie Q loves us all and her and I go to the spa together btw ☝️

Esidisi, sharing (JoJo's Bizarre Adventure)!! - He was debated since the last time I fixated on JJBA (2022 summer or so??), but only recently did I really take him in. I'm always down to yap about him, but he probably isn't as prominent in my brain as others.

Corazon, sharing (One Piece) - I haven't mentioned him tons but he belongs on here too tbh. Sending him so many kisses!!!

Will update as needed? I guess- thanks for reading!! Please please feel free to ask questions- (Last updated: January 18th, 2025)

DNI: those who share the aforementioned characters that I do not, proshippers (specifically those who condone or romanticize pedophilia, incest, beastiality, rape, etc etc), anti-lgbtq+ people, racists, sexists, literally anyone who's just kind of harass-y?? Yeah please don't interact. I really appreciate it because that shits just not cool.

I write and draw commissions, and will take donations!!

P@ypal is caiushadeon@gmail.com

Ca$happ is $sharpset

and ko-fi is here!

[firemenenthusiast]

kinda random what if reader was a domme and had not only Jann as a sub but FARLEIGH also and reader makes them get freaky deaky with each other while reader watches 🌚🌚🌚🌚

or Farleigh gets to fuck reader and lowkey cuck Jann watches and can’t touch them or even touch himself and has to clean up the juices afterwards.....OOOOOORRRRR vice versa, oh I just knowwwww Farleigh would be having a fit but high-key like it maybe RRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH I NEED TO SPREAD MY POLY READER/JANN/FARLEIGH AGENDAAAAAA

hell, to spice it up even more throw Kai in there, he's the ultra king of freaky fucks out of all of archie's characters to me so I have a feeling the whole thing would have him in freak paradise me thinks 😼😼😼

im officially combusting juniperhasfallen i fear you are a freaking genius cuz all your ideas in my inbox are nothing short of absolute deliciousness WAAARRRBBRRHRHRH. oh how i love making all of them my sub cuz they be suubbbyyyy

warnings: 18+, porn w/o plot, no protection (which is very unethical in this situation), three foursome, p in v, sub!/dom! farleigh, sub!jann, sub!/dom! kai, blowjobs, cum eating, reverse cowgirl, m! masturbation, creampie, teabagging, men whimpering, whining, crying, edging, overstimulating, ruined orgasms, cuckolding, cumshots, cuffing

a/n: well isn’t this interesting

GET THIS. we all know how farleigh is willing to fuck basically anyone. and jann, is by default the sweetest sub known to mankind. but when you brought up the idea to farleigh he secretly got excited but pretended to hate it cuz he thinks jann’s a loser. also because he’s lowkey jealous with how sweet you are with jann. farleigh ofcourse had to get his turn first with you, making jann sit in the cuck sofa in the corner, forcing jann to watch you play with his cock at the edge of the bed, his arms propped against the mattress with his thighs spread far apart. farleigh wants to be all whimpery and whining while you tease the sensitive tip of his cock but when he remembers that jann’s watching, he contains his moans cuz it would be embarrassing. while jann sits pretty in the chair naked with his hard cock out, tip red and leaking with the vein on the side bulging prominently, farleigh makes sure that he watches with his hands obediently on the armrests, no touching allowed. eventho farleigh’s literally getting fucked over by you, his cock twitching and precum trickling down his length into your hands, he still manages to be an asshole towards jann who’s watching, saying things like “dont you dare look away racer boy, keep your fucking hands to yourself” farleigh’s just spewing mean orders to jann, who suprisingly, obeys whatever farleigh says.

jann aches to fist his length with his hands at the view of you bouncing on another huge cock but he has to behave, because you’re praising them both while farleigh is in you, telling jann how good of a boy he’s being just sitting there obediently, and how pretty he looks, and reminding him how good boys get rewarded. jann refuses to jeopardise his chance at an orgasm even though he’s close to cumming undone from cucking you and farleigh. he doesn’t want to end up being overstimulated like him, being edged over and over again by you, being stripped off from his orgasm repeatedly that his balls are starting to turn purple. farleigh’s whining, begging you to let him cum, his hips desperately bucking but still, he’s running his mouth at jann. “fuck—, you okay over there, mngh ? you’re so hard man, it’s pathetic” which gets him another ruined orgasm from you, for being mean to jann. guess he just couldn’t help it. jann is quiet, maybe too fucked with how hard he’s bucking his hips into thin air, desperate for some sort of relieve for his rock hard cock, bending towards his navel. every time farleigh would humiliate him with his words, jann would whine, tears threatening to spill from his pretty eyes. his balls are tight, full of cum, rubbing against the fabric of the sofa. “please—oh, please farleigh let me have her” being one of jann’s pleads amongst others that came out incoherent, sounding more like blabbers from how lightheaded he is, only for farleigh to respond with “shut your mouth”. at times farleigh would receive a slap across his face, as you put him back in his place. you would think that’ll shut him up but no, he’d let out a loud moan, enjoying being slapped that you can feel his cock twitch. jann almost cums when you’re cumming for the second time on farleigh’s cock, all while ruining his orgasm for the ninth time.

farleigh’s now crying from blue balls, his tip leaking so much precum, his hand desperately grabbing at your waist to aid the intense aching on his crotch, another hand over his quivering lips, his eyes red with droplets of tear clinging onto his long lashes. eventho he’s in that state, his mouth is still spewing humiliation towards jann, only to whimper again from you overstimulating him. “stop, stop- stop, stop please” farleigh would beg, shutting his eyes as you edge him over another waves of pleasure, only to rip it away again. you’d kiss down his body from his jaws, making sure to spend extra time licking at his nipple, feeling yet another orgasm coming from farleigh from his twitching cock. you bite at his nipple slightly harder before quickly getting up from his cock for it to instantly slap against his lower belly before ropes of cum squirts out of his raging red tip, so much of it landing all over his body, some even getting on his lips. he’s crying, hips bucking from the overstimulation, as you hear jann mutters a low “fuck—“. catching your breath, you smile at farleigh in his fucked up state, he’s too hazy to say anything to jann now, only being able to blabber strings of thankyou’s to you for letting him cum this time. while you watch him come down from his cries, your fingers trace small hearts with his cum on his chest, giggling at his limp twitching cock in front of your pussy. when you turn your head over to jann, he looks like a madman, having just watched his girlfriend fucking another huge cock that’s not his, all while he’s forced to keep his hands to himself by a brat he doesn’t even know why he’s obeying.

when you get up from farleigh to walk over and kneel before jann, your fingers carefully grazing over the length, an immediate spurt of cum shooting onto your face. you look up to jann who’s breathing hard, he just can’t keep it anymore, cumming with just a slight touch from your hand. you help him ride out his orgasm, though not as satisfying as he would hope for, atleast he finally gets to be touched by you. you continue to milk his cock, popping his balls into your mouth before sucking on them, slobbering saliva all over the skin. now that he’s allowed to touch himself, he’s tugging on his shaft while you suck on his balls, swirling your tongue over the soft mounds. he’s occasionally bumping his knuckles over your forehead from how hard he’s jerking his cock off. flattening your tongue over his balls, you grab his hand away before dragging your tongue from the underside of his balls to the head of his cock, finishing off with a suckle on his tip, swallowing the drops of cum decorating his cock, before pushing your head down to throat his length. the way you reward him is the exact reason he’ll always behave, because good boys get rewarded. and jann loves delayed gratification. “having fun, racer boy ?” you hear farleigh chirp from his place, sprawled out on the mattress, too fucked out from his turn before. “come here farleigh” you order, earning an eyeroll from him. “i said— come here”. you get up to meet farleigh halfway at the edge of the bed, climbing over him before grabbing his jaw to kiss him, giving him a taste of jann’s cum. he’s moaning at the taste, fingers kneading at the soft flesh of your waist. jann is breathing hard, his chest heaving covered in sweat.

how would i add kai in this mix you may ask ? while you’re fucking yourself on jann’s cock, farleigh submits to kai who’s also been watching the whole time, except he’s fully clothed in that navy blue shirt with his hands cuffed to the railing in the wardrobe. farleigh’s sucking him off, kneeling over him having to take it all with his hands over his head, depraved from the satisfaction of pulling at farleigh’s tight curls. wet sounds bouncing off the walls of the room pornographically, the four of you moaning against each other’s touch. jann is fucking into you reverse cowgirl, so you’d be able to watch kai getting a blowjob from farleigh, who looks like he’s having the time of his life. just as you can tell that kai is close, you tell farleigh to swallow most of it, keeping some on his tongue to bring it over to you, before spitting it into your mouth. he’s hard again, so you let him stand beside the chair and fuck your mouth while jann’s chases his orgasm, rapidly thrusting into your cunt. as you’re taking both farleigh and jann’s cock, kai is left still hanging on the railing, his cock limp with stickiness dripping from the tip onto the floor. he’s groaning, his knees threatening to give up yet his eyes couldn’t get off the view of you getting fucked by two cocks at once. “kai, baby- you wanna join ?” you deliriously ask with half lidded eyes, not even knowing where to fit him in the position. maybe after jann finish fucking his load into you, you make him get up and uncuff kai, plopping him onto the bed to ride him into oblivion.

and when you decide you’re done with all of them, they’re all gonna have to lie on the bed, cuddling with each other <3 who knows ? maybe kofun or ivo can join next time

[talekinesis]

Reasons I will not Accept Umbrella Academy Season 4 as Canon (major spoilers)

I wanna preface this with: This is just my personal opinion, I am not telling anyone how they should or shouldn't feel. If you liked season 4, that is wonderful for you, I wish I could say the same

These two. I do not like their little romantic side plot at all for a multitude of reasons

I know Five's consciousness is like 68, I know he's technically an old man, but his body is around 19 years old, and Lila knew him while his body was still 13 so it just feels weird

I cannot imagine being in my 30s, married with children and being in love with someone who looks like they're 19, and yes, I know 7 years alone will do numbers on someone's mind, but still

throughout their whole little love montage, I was just begging, "Please let this just be a wholesome friend thing, please let this just be a cute, close sibling like dynamic- FUCK ME, THEYRE KISSING!?"

Also Five wasn't even good to her, he lied about the book at first and just made the decision for her that she'd stay with him in that timeline forever. And yes I know he eventually told her, but even after that he kept trying to convince her to just abandon her husband, children, and family because "You're happy here." Diego and Lila have their own issues, sure, but he's still the much better option and wouldn't have tried to trap her like that.

Season 4 Five just feels.. off, he feels wrong. Bring back his little shorts and old man vests when he was in 'retirement.' Bring back the Five that went on a road trip with Klaus because he wanted to see things like the world's biggest ball of yarn or whatever it was, I don't like this Five who tries to trap a married mother in an alternate dimension with him

THE CLEANSE

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

YOU'RE GONNA SIT THERE AND TELL ME NONE OF THEM MAKE IT??

"Oh Talon, there can't always be happy endings, some endings are sad too," and I GET THAT!! But that doesn't mean I can't still pout about it >:(

I will sit here with a pouty lip and arms crossed for all eternity /ref

It just felt like a kick to the gut for the show to be like, "Oh and they ceased to exist, they were never born, none of this technically ever happened, and no one remembered or missed them. They saved the world, the timeline, and no one will ever remember them for it because it technically didn't actually happen to begin with," fuck you

These characters we got so attached to, these plots that we got so invested in, you can't just tell me, "Also they technically never happened because they were never born," what the hell??

So you know what?? No. I don't accept s4 as real. Just like the cleanse, it never happened. As far as I'm concerned, the story ended at s3, everyone is alive and well, they don't have their powers, and they all went their separate ways.

Viktor is still running a bar in Canada with his friends

Allison is still a happy mother to Claire

Luther is living in the mansion married to Sloane

Diego is still learning to be a parent with Lila

Five is in much needed therapy and in college reclaiming a young adulthood life he never had

Klaus is still sober and going strong, probably working at a café, he's someone's favorite barista and they have conversations

Ben is living in South Korea (where google said he was at the end of s3) and he still keeps in contact with Klaus and Viktor

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Leader of the Pack 2

No tag lists. Do not send asks or DMs about updates. Review my pinned post for guidelines, masterlist, etc.

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as dubcon/noncon, and other possible triggers. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: On a night out at the bar, you’re promoted from wing woman to main star.

Characters: James Conrad, short!reader

Note: I'm Canadian so I get a three day weekend.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me <3

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!) Asking for more or putting ‘part 2?’ is not feedback.

Love you all. You are appreciated and your are worthy. Treat yourself with care. 💖

“I defer to you,” James says as Sy grumbles over a near miss. “Call it.” 

You look at the table. Oh, right. Only the eight ball left. You examine the felt and consider every angle. It’s well out of your skill range. 

“I can’t...” 

“Certainly, you can,” he insists blithely, “I’ve no doubt.” 

You frown with tight lips, “don’t say I didn’t warn you.” 

You walk around the table, one way, then the other, and back again. Sy lets out a deep sigh of irritation as Martyna giggles into her glass. How many drinks has she had? You resign yourself to failure and approach the trim. 

“Right corner,” you declare, though it is more murmur.  

You shift back and forth, trying to get the angle right. You squeeze the cue tight until your knuckles hurt. You loosen up as you glance away from the felt and your eyes meet James’. He shows no sign of anxiety. He simply watches. Patient. 

You open your dry lips and blow out between them. You narrow your sights on the ball and pull back. You bring your back hand forward and the tip sends the cue ball spinning. You look away before it can bounce the eight ball off the edge. 

You back up with your cue and cling to it, the butt to the floor. 

“Aha,” James exclaims as Sy groans, “victory.” 

“Huh?” You blink and look at the table as the white ball rolls away from the corner pocket, the black ball gone. 

“Whatever,” Sy growls, “need a girl to fight your battles.” 

“Don’t be a poor sport,” James chides playfully. He gets only a growl in response. “What say you all to another match?” 

“Mm,” Martyna hums as the ice clinks in her glass, “I need a drink.” 

“Me too,” Sy agrees as he puts his cue in the wall rack, “what’re you drinking?” 

He takes her cue and places it away with his own. She grins and gives her order before following him away. She leaves you alone at the table with the other man. Barely more than a stranger, even if you know his name. 

You sway awkwardly and look around. Maybe you could distract him by losing to him. You glance at the table and try to piece together the suggestion. 

“And you? Would you like a drink?” He offers before you can summon your voice. 

“Oh, uh,” your lashes flick. “I don’t really... drink.” 

“Perhaps a sparkling water?” He suggests and offers wordlessly to take your cue, “we should let some others have a go. I’d hate to live on the felt.” 

“Uh, yeah, sure.” 

You hand over your cue and watch him take both to the rack. He secures them then turns back, strutting over to you. The coned glass shade casts a glint in his eyes and nicely limns his features. You’re all too aware of how mismatched you are. Where he is confident and handsome, you’re reticent and plain. Boring, if you do say yourself. 

“Come,” he beckons you toward the bar as he trails behind you. 

You lead the way ahead of him, through the bodies waiting for their own drinks, and you stop before a tall stool. He gestures over your head and calls the bartender by name, “Curt.” 

The man finishes up the order and takes a bill in return before he nears your side of the bar. He greets the other man with a subtle nod, “pint?” 

“Yes, and whatever the lady prefers,” James says. 

The bartender only notices you then, tilting his chin down to see you. You give a sheepish grin. You don’t often order more than water. 

“Ginger ale, please?” You request. 

“All I got is organic ginger beer. It’s spicy,” he replies. 

“Sure, thanks,” you agree easily. You hate to trouble him or the man who’s kindly offered to buy you a drink.  

You’ve done this before. You bear through the awkwardness of the courtesy until you see Martyna has her catch of the night. Then you find a way to excuse yourself and the men never seem to mind. They're already scoping out someone else. 

The bartender uncaps the dark green bottle of ginger beer and places it on the bar. Then he fills a tall pint of golden beer and sets it next to the non-alcoholic beverage. James takes both and bids you to ‘come’. You do as he says. You’re not sure what else to do. 

He leads you to a table and you peer around. You see Sy and Martyna. He has her penned in by the wall as they speak closely and nurse their drinks. You sit as James puts your drink before you. You face him and wonder for a moment how he got his fare for free. He never paid. He probably has a tab, he seems to know this place well. 

“You don’t come here often,” he states, not asks. 

You nod, “I’m not much for... bars, but Martyna likes them.” 

You put your hand on the bottle and turn it slowly. His eyes follow the movement of your fingers for a moment before they return to your face. You save yourself from talking and take a sip of the ginger beer. It is rather spicy. 

“I wouldn’t figure you the type. In the best way possible,” he chuckles softly, “this isn’t the place for nice girls.” 

Nice girls. Boring girls. You know what he means. 

“Yeah...” you agree flatly. 

“You from the city or visiting?” He asks. 

It’s small talk. He’s filling the air. He’s playing his part. Keep the other one distracted while his buddy seals the deal. You get it. It’s torturous. 

“From here. Live here,” you shrug. 

“Right,” he nods, “in this neighbourhood?” 

“South east,” you say. 

“Ah, not very far,” he muses and tastes his beer. You stare at the table. You’re tired and slightly embarrassed. You appreciate him being so nice but you know it’s not genuine. 

“You know,” you examine the label on the bottle, “you don’t have to sit with me. I can just go,” you glance over at Sy and Martyna as they lock lips, “looks like they’re getting along so--” 

“Pardon?” He cranes to see over his shoulder, hooking his arm behind the chair so his bicep bulges and his bluish grey tee strains across his chest, “no,” he turns back, “I... that isn’t-- unless you want me to go away.” 

You swallow. You drink again, just to wet your dry tongue. 

“Sorry, I just thought... usually...” you cringe and snap your mouth shut. You shake your head. 

“I’m intrigued, it has nothing to do with anyone else,” he brings both elbows to the table and leans forward. “I see a lot of types come through here but you... you’re different.” 

You crinkle your brow and look down. Your slate gray pants with the barely discernible plaid pattern sewn into them and your stuffy turtleneck under the crocheted vest don’t really fit. You’re all too aware of how you stick out. You let go of the bottle and drag your hands down to your lap, picking at the tip of your thumbnail. 

“Like I said, I’m not really a drinker. It’s Mart,” you sniff. 

“I don’t mean it in a bad way. Truly,” he keeps his attention on you, “did you make the vest yourself? I like the roses.” 

“N-no, my grandma...” you once more scald in humiliation. With each word, you just stamp in his first impression. 

“You’re close with her?” He intones. 

You look at him. His eyes make you want to melt into the chair. He isn’t like the other men you’ve sat in purgatory with. He isn’t looking around at anyone else. In fact, his intent stare makes you squirm. 

“Yeah, I try to visit,” you clear your throat and shift in the chair, nervously running your fingernails in a ridge of the ribbed sleeve of your turtleneck, “I’m boring. What do you do?” 

He chuckles, “talk about boring. Trust me, I’m not very exciting. I want to know about you.” 

His intensity makes you want to fan yourself. 

“Just a bookkeeper,” you answer.  

“Ah, a very useful occupation.” he praises. 

Boring, you want to say again. Just like everything about your life. You look at the ginger beer and frown. 

“You don’t like your drink?” He suggests. He’s attentive to the point of discomfort. 

“It’s fine, I just... different,” you utter. 

“Who do you bookkeep for?” He asks. 

You give pause. He asks a lot of questions. Maybe you’re just not used to that much interest, but it feels like a bit much. How would you know? You see Martyna and the men she associates with. They look at her the same way. It could just be that he really is into you. 

“A publisher. There’s a few of us.” 

“Hm, yes, there would be,” he hums, “think I might know the book house.” 

“Uh, yeah,” you give half a smile. Everyone knows the publishing company; it’s the core of the city’s economy. 

“I’m rather a fan of their mysteries,” he says. “Have you read--” 

“Conrad,” a drunken slur interrupts him and James sits back to look up at the other man. Sy’s eyes are half-glazed as Martyna clings to his arm, “we’re headed out.” 

“Ah, yes,” James checks his watch, “it is rather late.” He turns his attention to you, “shall we?” 

You look between them. Martyna bats her lashes at you drunken and tweaks her brow. You’re all leaving. Together? 

“I’m afraid he’s crashing at my place, he had some issue with his pipes,” James explains, “so I’m afraid I’ll need to let him in like a stray cat.” 

“Hmph,” Sy growls but is quickly distracted by Martyna’s hand rubbing his chest. 

This is strange. It’s never been like this before. Maybe it’s better that you stay close to Martyna to make sure she’s okay. Usually, she tells you to go. She calls you a cock block. She isn’t wrong. You don’t exactly inspire lust. 

“Right, yeah,” you stand and hit the table as the chair is heavier than you expect and traps you.  

The ginger beer wobbles and clatters onto its side, sending a foamy wash across your middle. You quickly pick it up and set it right but it’s too late. You’re mortified. 

“Ah, pity,” James remarks, “Sy,” he looks at the other man, “fetch us a cab, I’ll get something to clean up from the barkeep.” 

“Don’t drag your ass,” Sy warns. 

James doesn’t acknowledge the warning, striding over to the bar and speaking briefly with the man behind it. You stand in the damp mess as Martyna purrs at the other man before he leads her out. James returns and offers a dish cloth. 

“How unfortunate,” he remarks as you accept the cloth. 

“Yeah, I... it’s my fault. I wasn’t paying attention.” 

“I hope it doesn’t stain your vest,” he says. 

You shrug, “it’s fine.” 

“Yes, but your grandmother put such hard work into it.” 

You dab at the moisture and look up at him. You can’t tell if he’s mocking you. Your lips slant and you focus on sopping up the ginger beer. 

“I wasn’t... wasn’t making fun,” he says, “if it came across--” 

“No, no, I didn’t think so,” you lie. You do what you can and ball up the cloth, “I’ll bring this back. Maybe I should just meet you outside.” 

“I will wait,” he assures, “I am a gentleman after all.” 

[vixstarria]

You know what I just realized? Astarion’s unending hunger for blood got replaced with unending hunger for power if he ascends. He absolutely has no need for Cazador’s palace or political connections now that he can travel in the sun, but he’s so obsessed with protecting himself he happily takes up residence in his abuser’s home, despite all the terrible memories in it because it’s perfect for a power grab.

Essentially.

Tbh I'm a bit surprised to find this in my inbox as I don't think I've really said anything on the Spawn vs Ascended Astarion route. Ultimately, it's all pixels and people can do whatever they want with them.

But, hey, sure, here's a little rant under the cut.

My biggest gripe with Ascended Astarion isn't even that he's evil, or that he may be in any way mistreating Tav, or that he's power hungry, or any of the other usual complaints people have about him.

It's that he's simply boring.

You start off with this theatrical goofball, who is also an evil little shit, sure, but a hilarious one, who's terrified and riddled with trauma, and who just wants to experience simple joys and be safe and autonomous again.

Spawn ending - what does Astarion do? Well, anything he bloody wants to, really. Look at some of @spacebarbarianweird's headcanons for examples. Maybe he's an adventurer, maybe he's leading a quiet life running a shop, maybe he's a pirate, maybe he's a dragon rider, maybe he's in the Underdark, maybe he's somewhere on the astral plane. Maybe he's got kids. Maybe he found a cure for vampirism. Maybe he found a way to walk in the sun with an artifact. (I would add that maybe he's gathering a 7,000-strong vampire army in the Underdark and trying his hand at taking over the world as a spawn after all, but we know he can't plan that well)

He's charismatic. He's loving. And he's still the little shit you initially fell in love with.

Meanwhile, what's Ascended Astarion doing up in his castle?

Paperwork.

Dealing with bureaucrats.

Hosting occasional balls for people he despises, where he sits on his throne stroking his comically overinflated ego. In the very same castle that he just spent 200 years wishing to escape.

I just don't understand the appeal.

The archetype is essentially that of a corrupt politician or a ruthless head of a corporation. It's lacking in empathy and completely void of any positive emotions. Power and money for the sake of power and money. This is not the type of character I find appealing or compelling whatsoever, whether in fiction or real life.

"Oh, but you're giving him what he really wants if you ascend him!"

You just turned your favourite character into a bland, heartless megalomaniac, trapping him just as much as the blood craving and sun vulnerability would have, if not more. 🤷‍♀️

P.S. Ironically, some of my favourite fanfics actually happen to be Ascended Astarion fics, so no, he doesn't have to be boring. The above picture is a summary of what is implied by the game, together with the general gist of most AA fics I've seen.