#oh wait also- i am not immune to the Leg Thing

[phoenix-art-official]

toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart, baby, bang it up inside

[dellalyra]

FAMILY FORMATIONS PART FIFTEEN

SUMMARY:

Request from @criminalbenzene

Hi, it’s my first request, so please correct me if needed.

How about reader being sick and Gojo has to buy some medicine while taking care of the kids and he panics a little?

I love your Family Formations series, can’t wait for more xx

CW: swearing, illness, gojo is the best, fluff, the healthiest relationship ever, papa satoru, domestic sweetness

A/N: welcome back to our regular scheduling of domestic sweetness bc the manga breaks our hearts! I love this request it was sm fun and timely bc I currently have the flu so also very self-indulgent. Keep requests comin’ x x

Masterlist

“AaChOOooO”

Followed by sniffles and then a quick sound of the bathroom door slamming shut, and Satoru was racing into your joint bedroom. Hearing retching from the other side of the door, he pushed it open and crouched beside you, willing himself not to vomit too as he held back your hair.

After a few silent moments, the strength to speak returned and Satoru handed you your water bottle and a cloth.

“You’re sick.” He speaks.

“Oh, am I? Huh - didn’t notice.” You say, going to stand but legs giving way beneath you.

“Oh well I see the flu isn’t immune to sarcasm then – maybe they’ll put it in the next vaccine.” He grins, wrapping an arm around your waist and legs and effortlessly swooshing you up bridal style to carry you into bed.

“What are you doing? I have to get the kids to school.” You were pushed into the bed and rolled into a burrito straitjacket with your comforter.

“Oh yeah? How are you gonna do that if you can’t stand it? Gonna bring them there on a leaf with your technique?” He asks, booping your nose.

“Satoru - they’ve to be there in 45 minutes and Megumi isn’t even awake. I –” and the rest of your sentence was cut off by your lungs trying to exit your body.

Rubbing your back through your coughing fit, Satoru sends off several fast and probably dismissive texts.

“I’ll handle it, gotta get you better sweetheart! I’m playing sexy Dr Gojo today.” He laughs, tucking you in, and for once, you don’t have the energy to argue. That’s how he knows you’re ill.

You’re asleep before he even leaves the room.

Wandering languidly into the kitchen he sees Tsumiki, now 9 years old, walking in with a smile on her face, always a morning person – unlike anyone else in the house.

Next come Megumi, a very mature 7, who stumbles in with his frog pyjamas looking like they might be on backwards and his face lost in a tangle of hair.

“Where’s Y/N?” He says, eyeing Satoru. That’s when Satoru realised, he doesn’t know how weekday mornings go in his own house because he always leaves for a quick morning exorcism before he has to start class at 9 am at the high school. He’d been a teacher since about a year you both left high school, but he still took on the biggest share of missions (gotta flex those strongest skills).

“She’s sick, bud. So today! You have me! Woohoo!” They both immediately ask if you are okay, and Tsumiki starts to fuss about doctors and medicine.

“She’s okay guys - it’s just the flu, Yaga had it last week, so she probably picked it up at school. Now – who wants breakfast?” He asks, wrapping your flowery pink apron with bows and frills around his slim waist.

The kids glance warily at each other – Satoru was many things, but a chef wasn’t one of them. He winds up attempting to make bacon and eggs, but the eggs are so salty, and the bacon so burned that even Tsumiki ever so politely pushes it across the table, not before frowning at her dramatically gagging brother.

“Okay, fruit and yoghurt it is!” Undeterred, Satoru opens the fridge and grabs a cherry yoghurt for Tsumiki and a mango one for Megumi – their respective favourite flavours. After that he sends both kids off to get dressed and packs what he thinks will make an AWESOME lunch. They won’t be as fun as yours, as you’d become obsessed with making the coolest lunchboxes for all four of you after finding a woman on TikTok doing the same – you loved making the veggies into silly shapes. You and Satoru were eating lunch together at school one day, and as you made sure there was nobody else around you opened both your lunchboxes and he cackled laughing at the fact that in the two adults boxes, there were carrots and tomatoes stuck together with toothpicks to look like penises. God, he loved you. They each get two jam sandwiches, white bread for Megumi and brown for Tsumiki (he’s getting pretty pleased at how much he’s remembering) then some veggie sticks for both because, as you put it,

“As much as we’d all love to exist solely on sugar ‘Toru, the kids especially need fruit and veggies. But yeah, we can have cake for dinner.”

Then a filled-up water bottle for both and a candy bar in each too. He then remembers the little funny notes you pack into all four lunchboxes; he finds the pen and paper and writes two little notes, remembering how you never do very emotional ones for Megumi because they make him uncomfortable, but Tsumiki loves manifestation notes.

On Megumi’s, he draws a frog with crazy spikey hair and a scowl and on Tsumiki’s he writes ‘I’m a kick-ass kid with really cool braid my awesome dad did.’

He puts the boxes in their backpacks and then ushers Tsumiki to your and hers matching ‘get ready’ tables and puts on a YouTube tutorial of French braids and if he says so himself, absolutely nails them. Tsumiki squeals in delight seeing the elaborate decorations of sparkling clips he added and then hugs him and runs to put on her shoes. Satoru then turns to Megumi.

“We gotta do something about that bird's nest kid. How about hair like mine?” He says, fully expecting to be shot down with a blunt insult.

To his utter shock, the kid shrugs, and if Megumi had been facing Satoru, the older man would have seen a spark of excitement in the kid’s eyes. He runs a comb and his hands through his jet-black spikes and then adds some sculpting balm to keep it secure and there is then ying and yang of white and black hairstyles in the hallway mirror.

“Looking almost as handsome as me kid – go break some 8 year old hearts.” Satoru winks at him.

Megumi – inside – is really happy with how his hair looks. He knows Satoru is handsome and his mom is always complimenting him on his ‘pretty snowflake hair’, plus, he’d never tell anyone – but Satoru can be kinda cool. Wouldn’t be the worst thing to look kinda like him, so he turns away from the mirror with a tiny smile.

Loading the kids into the back of his Aston Martin V12, patting your 1956 Cadillac eldorado (baby pink, a 21st birthday gift from Satoru - you’d been saying it was your dream car since you met at 16)

“You get a rest today, old girl.” That car was your pride and joy.

He manages to get them to school with 5 minutes to spare and he is very proud of himself.

On the way home, he pulls into the store and grabs any and all medication he can find. One of each? Do you need painkillers? Cough syrup – get that. Anti- nausea pills? You had a fever that morning – oh my god, is it serious? Do you need the hospital? The sudden memory of a 6 year old Megumi with a fever and you fretting saying that if it got higher you’d have to bring him to hospital. He didn’t even check your temperature, oh my god he’s the worst boyfriend ever. Can fevers get so high they burn you? He should get burn cream. He had been so focused on getting the kids to school so you wouldn’t stress yourself out that he hadn’t had time to think yet. What did you do when the kids were sick? He was usually panicking when they were sick and you – ever practical and motherly, had asked Shoko for advice. Think, Satoru, think. Ice cream.

You’d given the kids ice cream.

The kids.

Wait, were you pregnant?!

Oh god. You were vomiting in the MORNING.

A baby? You two were 21 – and already had 2 kids. But oh – a tiny mix of you and him? He hoped it would have your cute nose.

Hang on – no, you had an IWD. No, IUD? Yeah, IUD. You weren’t pregnant.

Ice cream.

He needed ice cream and he got your favourite peach iced tea and decided to pick up your favourite boba on the way home.

He opened the door and immediately heard coughing, he ran through the house reaching your bedroom and then flung himself onto the bed beside you.

“‘Toru? Why aren’t you at work?” You ask, voice hoarse and raw.

“How can I leave the sick bed of my little wife? You might need the hospital – or water, or kisses. I need to check your fever and make sure you’re not dying.” He frets around you adjusting cushions and blankets.

You can’t help but giggle at his panicked face.

“Baby, first off – you haven’t put a ring on it yet. Next, I’m okay, I have the flu. A day or two in bed with some paracetamol and I’ll be fine. You can chill out, I’m worried about making you sick though.”

You frown at him.

“You are not a doctor! You don’t know this! What if you fever gets higher? What if you vomit your insides up? What if you cough so much you can’t breath? I have my infinity, I can’t get sick!”His words are coming a mile a minute.

“SATORU!” You grab his face in your hands.

Wide icey blue eyes stare back at you.

“I called Shoko when you were out, it’s the flu. I’m okay. You can calm down, now pass me the iced tea and medicine and get into bed with me and watch a film.” Feeling safe to kiss him, you plant a kiss on his forehead – heart swollen by the sheer amount of care and love emanating from him. You were so fucking loved and it felt amazing, especially since you also loved him with every fibre of your being, you’d burn the world for him.

He does as you ask and snuggles in beside you.

He curls you onto his chest, stroking your scalp to ease the headache and you hum at the relief.

“Just having you here makes me feel a million times better already, ‘toru. Thank you. I love you.” You whisper into his T-shirt, a soft smile dancing on your flushed face.

“I love you too, princess. Always. I just wish I could hollow purple the flu for making my babygirl feel shitty.”

At this you let out a loud laugh and reach for the bag of medicine from the pharmacy.

“I know you would ‘toru. And I’d do the same for you.”

He leans to grab the remote to switch on your tv and load up Jurassic Park, your comfort film.

“‘Toru, why did you get me burn cream?”

[simplydannie]

Velvet & Veneer Fanfic

I Couldn’t Save You

Prelude Here

An infection story I did a while ago! This is an AU I plan on doing, so this story is a separate timeline.

An outbreak of some sort has happened as we saw in the prelude. Those at the detention were separated. Floyd is on a mission to not only find Branch who mysteriously disappeared… but to also make sure if a set of siblings are unharmed.

After a perilous journey, the Trolls had finally made it to Mount Rageous again…. Except this time…. It was in ruin.

Buildings in smoke, roofs caved in….. the infection had made its way to the dazzling city of lights. Knowing that Mount Rageous was populated by teens, the Trolls only hoped they were able to make it home with their families before….well…. They couldn’t even finish the thought.

“Why are we here again…” John Dory asked as he looked at the ruined city with a distraught look.

“… Trying to find Branch.” Floyd said. JD looked at his brother.

“And…” He waited for Floyd’s continued answer.

“…. To see if the twins are alright….”Floyd finished.

Crimp told them that Mount Rageous itself had no detention center. That was located further into Rageous… and that’s where they traveled.

The air was eerie. What was once a lively bustling city filled with youngsters… was now silent, and dead. As they traveled they didn’t pass a single soul, not one Rageoun in sight. How things could change in one year.

“You think they all made it out in time?” JD asked.

“Hopefully. Or maybe isolating themselves…” Floyd responded. As they continued they saw the rest of Rageous for the first time. If it wasn’t for the ruin and smoke… it would have been dazzling: buildings made of precious gems and stones. Floyd would have liked to learn more about the Rageouns if it was under better circumstances.

After what felt like hours, the made it: RAGEOUS DETENTION CENTER FOR TROUBLED YOUTH. Or in Veneers words, prison.

It seemed abandoned and empty…. At least the brothers hoped it was.

“Ready?” Floyd asked. John Dory took a deep breath.

“Let’s go.”

Broken glass and shattered material layed inside the detention center…. But no soul in sight. They checked behind every door, inside every room…empty.

“Okay. This is good. They evacuated, they made it out.” John Dory said.

“Yes.” Hope began filling in Floyds heart for a moment, “But Branch…”

“Maybe it’s better if we didn’t find him…means he’s safe….” JD replied. They were cut off by a sudden sound down within the hall.

They cautiously walked over to a cell….

“Oh man…it’s a kid.” JD said. Both being older, when they meant kid, it was a teen… an infected teen.

Floyd couldn’t make out the face of the young Rageoun…All he could hear were eerie hymns coming from the Rageon’s mouth, rocking back and forth, small burst of cynical giggles. Floyd felt bad.

“…..They’re not immune….” Floyd began to say before he was interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Floyd?” He heard a female voice call out to him from behind. He turned to see Velvet’s familiar face.

“Velvet? You’re still here? Why? How?” Floyd walked up to the tempered glass cell.

“Me? Why the heck are you here?” She asked. She didn’t seem at all bothered by what was going on around her, by the infected Rageoun right across from her.

“Obvisouly now, here to get you out now! JD let’s get this open….” Floyd began to say.

“NO! No. Don’t. I am not going out there.” Velvet made her way and leaned herself against a wall. Crouched, hugging her legs….She looked a little different… thinner paler. “I’ve scavenged enough supplies…for now.”

“Vels, we got to get you and your brother out. The city is abandoned…we need to get you somewhere safe…” JD began to say.

“I know what’s out there. I was here when all the panic started…but I am not going anywhere.” She said without looking at them. “….I have what I need here…”

“Where’s Veneer? Maybe we can convince him? I know he wants you safe.” Floyd said. Upon the mention of her brothers name, she looked at Floyd with a sad look in her eyes. He could see her eyes begin to fill with tears. Without a word, she glanced at the cell across from her…..at the cell where the infected Rageoun was…..oh no….

Floyd made his way to the cell.

“Floyd no.” Velvet warned. Floyd ignored her warning…He crept closer and closer until he could make out the features of the Rageoun….The porcelain pale skin, the green swooped up hair…

“….Veneer…” He said. At that moment Veneer turned his head and made his way in attempts to grab Floyd. But he forgot about the glass cell. Veneer ran straight into it…it didn’t phase him one bit…Floyd saw the yellow in his eyes, the dark circles under them…He was thinner, and paler, bruise-like spots all around his skin. He didn’t speak, only mumbled and gurgled. He attempted to grab Floyd through the glass..but no success…The thing that stood in front of them… it wasn’t Veneer anymore. John Dory looked at Velvet.

“How long?” He asked. Velvet hesitated to answer.

“…He just got like this about 1 month ago…” Velvet stared at the ground. She spent the entire time here in the cell waiting for the infection to slowly take it’s toll on Veneer.

“Velvet…I’m sorry about your brother…but…we can still save you. Come with us. Maybe we can find a cure, save him before he gets worse…” Floyd was saying.

“STOP IT! No..im not going anywhere. I’m not going to leave him alone…We’ve been inseparable since…forever….” She looked at the creature that was once her brother. He crouched down rocking back and forth, humming some sort of tune. “Me and him are gonna go through his together too.” She pulled up her sleeve….a bite mark.

“No, Velvet!” John Dory exclaimed.

“I don’t know how it works. Veneer just got sick out of nowhere and now look….I was desperate…I just didn’t know what to do…So…I went to his cell and….” Velvet pulled down her sleeve. “I just don’t want to continue life alone…without my brother…”

Moments of silence passed between them….Veneer was long gone, and Velvet would be well on her way….Floyd couldn’t save them…They were just kids….He tried to find something he could say to her…something that would convince her to leave even if she was infected…They could still find a cure.

“Your brother was here…two months ago…before Veneer lost it.” Velvet said. The Trolls ears perked up. “He…he tried to get us out…But Veneer knew he was already infected…He didn’t go anywhere…neither did I…”

“Where was he going? What is he doing?” Floyd asked. Velvet stared off into the distance…a lost look in her eyes…she blinked and looked at the Trolls…

“Floyd? What are you doing here?” She asked. Tears began streaming down Floyds face….her memory was already leaving her….she’d soon be gone too.

“I’m so sorry….We couldn’t save both of you.” He cried.

[swordsmans]

have any snippets you want to share from what you wrote last night? 👀

it took me a bit to figure out how you knew i’d been writing last night hahahahahaha. i’m finally settling back into working on the sequel to the poison immunity fic! progress is slow but steady, which has actually been quite nice. This takes place on Zou after the crew arrives from Dressrosa but before they split up again to go to Wano and WCI, respectively. Disclaimer, of course, that this is a draft :'3c

“A whale’s lifespan is rarely longer than, oh, seventy years,” Brook hums, tilting his head to the side, curling white-bone fingers through the darkness in a vague gesture out to sea. “I will cherish my time with Laboon, but in the grand scheme of an endless death, the years he has left are so very small.”

Zoro watches him, bleached body almost reflective even in the dim moonlight, and not for the first time (or the tenth time, or the hundredth time) Zoro is struck full-force with the incomprehensible horror of Brook’s strength. More than any of them, he is an immovable force. Untethered (and who could blame him) but still here. 

“Fifteen at most, then,” Zoro replies, “give or take,” and Brook tilts his head the opposite direction, a learned courtesy to show he’s listening. 

“Optimistically, yes,” Brook replies. His voice is light, carefree like always. “Whatever I am given, I will take. It’s more time than I spent half a century believing I had, after all.”

“We’ll all still be alive.”

“And quite spry, in fact.” Brook nods. “When Laboon passes, I will still have my crew. I won’t be alone—not again. Not yet.”

“Not yet,” Zoro grunts back, blunt as ever, and as he shrugs a wordless yohoho! floats up between them. He thinks of a span of time more than twice his age, so long he can’t wrap his head around the depth of it—and he thinks of sagged bodies decaying in sprawls across rotten wood, purple and bloated with a poison of their own. 

“I find it funny that people so rarely talk to me of death,” Brook hums, light and easy. 

Zoro snorts. “You’re always talking about death.”

“Oh, indeed. But one man does not a conversation make.” He chuckles, then—quick. Bright. “I would know!”

It’s hard not to feel his own mouth pull into some kind of involuntary smile, even as his brain processes what’s been said. Brook is just so—Brook. Not for the first time, Zoro marvels at him. 

Still, though—

“Maybe it’s ‘cause you do that,” Zoro says. “The jokes and shit.”

And Brook throws his head back—his arms out—and laughs. Laughs loud enough to wake Nami but doesn’t, somehow (which is a good thing and also a terrible thing, Zoro thinks—he wonders how long it’s been since she properly slept, waiting for them here, waiting for Luffy to come and fix things). Still, he mutters, Oi—and Brook twists his bony neck to look down at him—grinning. Always grinning. Physically incapable of anything else. 

“Oh, but that’s the point!” Brook says, absolutely delighted. “I’m a musician!”

Zoro feels his own eyebrows raise, but Brook is Brook is Brook—so he just grunts,“I don’t follow.”

And animated in his own strange, manic little moment of joy, Brook sways, spinning once across the grass and slipping out of his coat in the dance—before he folds smoothly into a crouch in front of them both. Without missing a beat, he gently, gently drapes his coat across Nami (and across Zoro’s legs, too) and says, “My job is joy.”

“Joy.” It’s a statement and a question in one. 

Brook simply nods, standing straight again. In the moonlight, his bones shine. “Death is an inevitable part of life, and if I can make you fear it just a bit less—make you laugh just a bit more when you think of it because you think of me, then I have served my purpose. We are surrounded by death—seeped in it—but death is proof we are alive. All things need an antithesis, a mirrored opposite such that its best qualities can shine against the juxtaposition. Without death, what is life! And what is life if not laughter and music and companionship! We must laugh at death to laugh in life!”

Zoro watches him, bursting forth with a half-coherent rambling into the night—and he doesn’t get it. But at the same time, he does. 

But— 

“Maybe it's good for the others, but I’m not afraid of dying,” Zoro bites, more defensive than he means. It has been—a day. “I’m not afraid of shit.”

With easy acquiescence, Brook nods. “Of course,” he says, still light and breezy. “I believe that’s part of what our dear Navigator has taken issue with—one could argue that’s part of the overall issue at hand. But, I must say—if anything, this is proof that you do still fear death. Fundamentally different.”

“Oi—”

“It’s not a weakness!” Brook says, shaking his head. “Or if it is, I’m quite spineless myself—oh, but I do have a spine! You can see it right here—” he poses, distracting himself, giggling against the sky as Zoro frowns. 

“Doesn’t seem any different to me. And also—I don’t.”

“Everyone has a spine, Zoro—even if you can’t—”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it,” Zoro grumbles—but it’s around the twitched lips of a suppressed laugh. Because of course—

And then Brook says, “You do indeed. You fear our Captain’s death more than anything, anything in the world, though you know better than anyone but me, perhaps, that it will come.”

[justwearthegoddamncardigan]

All in two days - Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | full masterlist on pinned post

Newt x gender neutral!reader

Set a few days after Part 3, with the group settled in the Safe Haven already

Warnings: nightmares, language (Glader slang and normal swearing)

"So, new kid." Brenda sits beside you from where you're stretched out on a blanket on the beach. "Thoughts on the fight?"

"Kid? You know, we're probably the same age. I might even be older than you." You shoot her a grin.

She laughs. "All of you Maze people seem younger though. Different world experience. Oh, wait. You weren't there right?"

"Yep, lived in the Scorch just like you."

"Ah, I remember you now. You're the one Newt was all crazy about."

You control your expression, shoving down the fluttering in your stomach. "What do you mean?"

"He kept insisting that we go back for someone in the Scorch, after we found the Right Arm."

She snorts, "Was almost ready to throw hands when Jorge said there was no point going back for one person."

"Oh," you look down and self-consciously brush some sand off your legs.

Brenda looks at you suspiciously. "What, you guys dating or something?"

You shake your head. "Nah, it's not like that. He doesn't- We're not together."

"Oh. Well it's not my business, but it seemed like he..." she shrugs.

"Anyway," says Brenda. "Are you in for the fight?"

Lately, the Right Arm has been planning missions to rescue the other children WCKD still has.

Even though Lawrence's rebels attacked the Last City, WCKD is still standing, and they've continued shipping Immunes around for their research. Ava Paige and Janson are still alive too.

Because of all that, the Right Arm has been recruiting people from the Safe Haven who want to fight and help with the mission.

"You know," says Brenda. "You're all allowed to opt out on this one. You've already been through a lot, and it's more than reasonable for you to stay here."

You sigh deeply. "Yeah, we know." You turn your gaze to her. "But we're all in."

"Really?"

"Yeah. None of us have ever really been able to back away from a fight; especially Thomas."

"Although," you add, "My sister is definitely staying here. No way in hell am I sending Elle into a fight."

Brenda nods, smiling. "Well then, come join the meetings when you're ready."

⭒----⭒

You're having dinner one day when someone brings it up again.

"Hey," says Thomas casually. "How're things with you and Newt?"

You put down your fork and give him a look.

"I'm just asking," he protests.

You turn to Teresa for support, but she shrugs apologetically. "I kinda want to hear it too," she admits.

There's no one else at the table to stop this conversation, and you roll your eyes. "Why do people keep asking that?" you say exasperatedly.

"It's just- we all know you two had a thing," says Thomas. "But now you're just both flirty and sad at the same time, and someone has to do something about it."

You frown. "We're not flirty and sad."

"You are." Teresa leans forward. "You're both so in love it's borderline exhausting, but you're also so stubborn and no one has made a single move yet."

"I literally saw the two of you cuddling on the beach the other day. But you still insist on not getting together." adds Thomas.

"Y/n, we're just trying help you. As your friends, we know you'd be so much happier being with Newt for real."

You look down, tapping the table absentmindedly.

"You can't honestly say you don't like him," prods Thomas.

You sigh. "I do," you admit.

At Thomas and Teresa's expressions, you hastily add, "But it's not like that. He doesn't feel that way about me. Not anymore, I mean."

"So, you're saying that, if he was in love with you, you would definitely be together."

"Of course," you say. "But it doesn't matter. I just want him to be happy, and being friends is what he wants."

"God, you're made for each other," says Teresa, looking at you fondly. "That's exactly what-"

You shake your head. "Can we change the topic?"

Thomas sighs. "Okay. He's coming over here anyway."

You turn to say Newt, Minho, and Frypan walking over to your table.

As Frypan sits on your left, Minho pushes smoothly in front of Newt to sit on your right.

Newt stops and blinks. In that moment of hesitation, Minho sends him a shark's grin. "Oh, sorry, did you wanna sit here? I can move."

"I- uh... No, it's fine. It's..." he trails off and moves to the other side with Thomas and Teresa, sitting diagonally across from you.

You shut your eyes and massage your temples as Minho turns his smirk to you.

You know your friends mean well, and are just having fun, but this is getting to be a bit much.

You stand abruptly and leave the table, depositing your plate and cutlery at the wash station.

Later, you're walking past the area again, with Newt and Minho on wash station duty.

You don't mean to eavesdrop, but you hear their conversation on the way past.

"Minho, you can't just do that mate. Did you see how embarrassed they were?"

"Relax, they were fine. Maybe a little pissed, but-"

You walk up to them. "Hey."

They stop talking immediately, Newt flushing red as he looks up from the dishes.

"Y/n, hi."

You lean on the counter casually. "What're you guys talking about?"

As Newt fumbles for words, Minho slides in with "The weather. It's real nice today isn't it?"

"Beautiful," you agree, raising your eyebrows.

"Well, we better be getting back to these dishes," says Minho, holding up a soapy plate.

You nod. "Right, bye then. Bye Newt."

"B-" he clears his throat. "Bye Y/n."

⭒----⭒

You're lying awake again, your hut feeling small and confining. Elle's in the next room, sleeping soundly.

It's safe and comforting, but it also brings you back to the Scorch, when it was just the two of you. You can't shake the loneliness.

You think about the night you and Newt had gone out and sat together in the sand, talking and alternating between the heavy topics and light conversation.

You get up out of bed and leave the hut quietly, shutting the door softly so you don't wake your sister.

Looking out at the beach, you can see two figures huddled close together. You can also see a lone person sitting on the tall branch of a tree, staring out into the ocean, and another three people walking in the shallows with their hands linked.

You suppose that with so many of these people coming from WCKD, there would be a lot of uneasy sleepers.

Maybe if you walk around for a bit, you'll find Newt awake sitting somewhere.

You wander around the Safe Haven, your path lit by dying torches and moonlight.

You see more people awake as you walk around, with one girl sitting in front of her hut holding a mug in her hands, and two boys sitting together at the dining tables. There's another pair lying in the grass field, their hands raised as they point at constellations in the sky.

"Y/n."

You turn. "Teresa, hey." Not who you were looking for, but someone to talk to.

"Couldn't sleep?" she asks.

You shake your head in response, and she waves you over to where she's sitting in the empty kitchen.

"Late night snack?" she offers jokily, smiling softly.

You grin back. "So, what's keeping you up?"

Her smile fades, and you wait patiently for her to speak.

She takes a breath. "WCKD did something to me, way back before we escaped and met you. They unlocked some of my memories, and I started seeing my childhood again." She stares off into the distance, lost in her memories.

"My mother... she got the Flare. It was horrible. And I was just a kid." You can hear her voice wavering.

"Teresa..." you reach out and take her hand.

"Actually, I kinda wanted to tell you about this. I understood why you... you know."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, for your sister. The circumstances are a little different, but for me... I would've done anything to save my mother. If that meant giving up my friends to find a cure, I would've done it."

"I just," she continues. "I'm trying to say I get it."

"Thank you for understanding," you whisper, squeezing her hand.

"But then, when we were the ones to experience it, the simulations they put us through to get what they wanted... I've got half a mind to give up on finding a cure. Just let Immunes have children and pass the gene on."

Your heart hurts at her cynical, hopeless tone. "Maybe we can do it. You're a genius, T. You and Thomas could find a way to do it without harming people."

She nods gratefully, her smile returning.

"Yeah, thanks. So what's your thing tonight?"

⭒----⭒

You end up having a lot of late night conversations with Teresa. You learn about the visions WCKD forced her to see, and how she still has nightmares about them.

It's not always Teresa though. You're glad when you don't see her, because that means she's slept better.

You see Minho out there too. Sometimes you get to talking with him, but the two of you usually just sit or take night time walks in comfortable silence, drawing comfort from each other.

Aris and Frypan are rarities to see; they’re probably the type of people who don't dream at night. Just fall asleep and wake up the next morning. Lucky bastards.

You see Thomas on occasion, and you usually plan missions or talk about everything you’ve been through.

With him, there have been many a “fuck you WCKD!” screamed into the ocean. Sometimes other people join in too. It’s a good way to make friends.

Although, you do owe your sister’s life to WCKD, so you probably can’t say they’re all bad.

You’re on the way out again when you hear noises from a hut nearby. Your group occupies a cluster of huts together, and one of them has an open window tonight.

It’s Newt’s, you realise as you walk up to the hut. As you get closer, you can hear little whispers of “no” and quick breathing. He’s having a nightmare.

You hesitate for a bit, then climb in through his window.

“Newt.” You grab his shoulders and shake him. “Wake up. Wake up.”

You panic as his cries grow more distressed. “Newt!”

He finally opens his eyes, launching up and flinching away, blanket scrunched in his hands as he backs up against the wall.

As moonlight streams in, you can see the sheen of sweat on his face, and you can still hear him panting.

You stay crouched on the ground beside the bed, not wanting to startle him.

Suddenly, he starts to yell again. “Y/n!” He looks around, gaze turning wildly. “Y/n!”

“Newt! Newt, I’m here.” You move up onto the bed, perched on your knees as you grip his wrists.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah, I’m here” you say, giving him a smile. “It’s okay. Just a nightmare, wasn’t real.”

He deflates, exhaling shakily. “That’s good, just breathe,” you say.

“Can you…” he gestures vaguely.

You nod, and pull him closer so he’s resting flush against your body, face pressed into your shoulder.

You card your fingers through his hair gently, whispering soft comforting words.

“I keep seeing them,” he says with a scratchy voice. You don’t know how long you’ve been sitting there without speaking, until he starts.

“I keep seeing the visions WCKD showed me in the simulation.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

“It’s not-”

“I know, I’m just sorry you’re still going through that. You can tell me, if it’ll help. Maybe get it off your chest.”

He closes his eyes. “They showed me the Maze, made me run until my stupid leg gave out, and the Grievers got me.

“I’ve watched Minho, Alby, and Thomas getting crushed by the Maze doors when they didn't make it back in time.

"And I saw you. My mind made up a vision where WCKD got you too. They were torturing you, making you tell them where we were. That’s what I was dreaming off tonight.” He ends with a raspy voice.

“Newt…” You can’t think of words to express the sorrow and pain you feel for him. “I’m okay, I promise. You never have to worry about that.”

You fall asleep soon, holding each other in his bed.

You still don’t sleep as much as you should, and you wake up before sunrise, but it’s better.

“Hey, do you want to go for a walk?” You offer.

“Yeah, that’d be nice.”

You pick your jacket up off the floor, where you dropped it last night.

As you start to pull it on, he stops you. “Wait.”

You follow his gaze to the leather wrapped around your upper arm. “Is that my…”

“Oh, yeah,” you say. “I, uh- I’ve worn it every day, actually. You know, just as a… reminder, or something.”

“Huh.” His expression is unreadable.

You don’t speak again until you get to the beach.

“Y/n.”

You turn to Newt. “Yeah?”

There’s a pause. “You know I trust you, right?”

You’re caught off guard. “What?”

“I trust you,” he repeats. “Listen, when I tell you about nightmares and all, it’s because I trust you with that stuff.

“I’m not bringing it up to tell you that what happened was your fault. You got that? I’m just tellin' you cause I trust you.”

You smile at him. “Yeah, thanks.”

“I’m serious, Y/n. Everything is… it’s all okay. There’s nothing left to forgive.”

“I feel like you have another point.”

“I just mean, don’t hold yourself back because you think I don’t trust you, or cause you think you don’t deserve to get closer.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Get closer,” he says, turning to look you straight in the eyes. “I- I want you to get closer. I don’t need this shield you put up, especially since you’re putting it up for my sake. I miss you. I miss you from before.”

“Look Y/n,” he continues. “We fixed things, mostly. But even though it’s fixed, there’s still one thing between us, and it’s that invisible barrier you keep up. There’s a line you think you can’t cross, but I’m telling you it’s gone. You don’t need that line.”

“Jeez Newt, that was like five metaphors in one sentence,” you put on a casual grin and give a short laugh.

“Y/n.” He physically moves in front of you this time, and you stop walking.

You rake a hand through your hair. “I don’t know what you want from me, Newt,” you say quietly.

He cups your cheek gently. “I want you to stop holding back. Let this happen.”

You look up into his eyes.

“Tell me if I’m wrong,” he says, voice lowering, and you feel his nose brush against yours.

You close your eyes automatically as he presses a soft kiss on your lips.

Your eyes flutter open as he slowly pulls back, running a thumb over your bottom lip.

“So was I wrong?” he asks huskily.

You force yourself away. “You just had a nightmare about me. You could just be-”

“Was I wrong?” He interrupts.

You huff out a laugh and loop your arms around his waist. “You weren’t wrong.”

He kisses you again, and this time you respond, tugging him as close as possible and kissing back.

You break away with a breathless laugh, pressing your forehead against his. “I’ve wanted this forever,” you tell him.

“I know,” he says, grinning. “Me too.”

You decide to take the leap. “I love you,” you say.

You’re only halfway through the ‘you’ when he crashes his lips into yours, everything colliding as arms wrap around bodies and hands thread through hair.

“I love you too.”

⭒----⭒

Breakfast that day is a fun ordeal.

Minho takes one look at the smiles on both your faces and knows instantly.

The rest catch on after Minho starts yelling and pointing.

The ‘we’re so happy for you’ phase quickly gives way to relentless teasing, but you go through it with your hand linked with Newt’s, so it’s a pretty good time in the end.

Ahhhhhh that’s it. That’s the end of this one request that was meant to be a nice two-parter at most and ended up being this.

Thank you to everyone who read and/or interacted with this!! As a new writer I’m honestly so grateful for my 4 person squad of people who like each fic ❤️❤️

There’s more on the way, I’ll see you on the next fic!

[runner5anna]

Christmas Cactus

Heyo @kodessa ! I am your ZR secret Santa. Here is a festive fic for you.

Thank you @notforconsumption and @delucadarling for organising this !

It's Christmas day in Able township. It's icey, it's cold, it's not very festive. But, Sam is quite determined to at least make something warm out of the bad day.

There is no spoilers, its SFW but there is discussions of grief and cussing. Also cringe pick up lines.

"Shit!" Bellowed Sam, along with a cacophony of clattering coming from downstairs. Five sucked a lungful of cold air in, kicking the many layers of blankets off of her, grabbed the knife from under the bedside table and ran downstairs. She shoved open the door, shouting “who the hell is there?” and slashing at the air. Her chest heaved with adrenaline and fatigue. The cold air pressed on her bare feet, and her pyjama trousers were halfway up her legs. 

‘Uh - just me?” Answered Sam. He was hunched over the side, which was covered in cocoa powder and parts of a mug. The forest green hoodie he wore to bed was covered in water. “Wait - is that another knife, 5? I thought we talked about this. You don’t need to keep knives under the bed side table.” 

5 grinned and placed it down on the side. “I don’t know what you mean.” She slid it into the drawer, intending to pick it up later. “Need a hand?”

“No - I think I’m ok.” he sighed. He picked up his foot, inspecting it closely. “I stubbed my toe and dropped the pink mug. I found the cocoa powder at the bottom of the drawer in the comms shack. Happy Christmas, I guess?” he sighed, dusted the reminisce of the brown powder off the base of his foot, and placed it down - deciding that it wasn’t broken, just sore. “I wanted to surprise you.” 

“Oh shit - that day already?” 5 ran her hands up her face, pressing her palms into her eyes. She really needed a shower. Her face felt slick with sweat and grime from the night. Maybe she’d treat herself later to a lukewarm one. 

“Yeah. Snuck up on me too. I looked at the clock on the computer last night and it was the 24th! I wanted to surprise you with some hot cocoa but I pigged that one up pretty badly.” He sniffled, and the tears welled like little gems in the corner of his large brown eyes.  

“Oh - bless your heart, Sammy. You’re too kind for this world.” 5 opened her arms, inviting him in for a hug. He placed his bristled chin on her head and sighed, relaxing into her touch. “You didn’t have to do that for me.” 

“I know. I’m the best.” He grinned. “But - I wanted to. So I did.” He pulled away from 5 and picked up the brush from the side. “I need to clean up. Snow isn’t brown. Unless it's mixed with mud. Or zombie parts. But I suppose I’d quite like chocolate snow.” 

“How’s about I make us hot chocolate with what we have left over? And we can do…” Five pressed her tongue against her teeth in thought. “...festive things.” 

“What can we do? Really?” 

5 lent down to scoop up some more powder back into the pot. If she grabbed a collider, she could at least filter out some of the dust. It was salvageable at least - and there wasn’t much of this stuff left in the world so they should at least treasure it. Somewhat disgusting, yes, but it was the apocalypse. If you could be disgusting, it was now. It would be good for her immune system development, her mother would say. “I’m not actually sure. It’s not like we have a big dinner we can make or gifts.”

“Janine has given us the day off - for those that want it.” 

“I might head out eventually, then.” 

Sam slowly turned around, and pleaded. “Please don’t. It’s -6. It’s freezing. The ground is solid. You’ll slip. Plus it’s Christmas. Let’s just have a day together - It’s been too long.” 

5 pulled a hair from the powder. It was short, brown and blunt - one of Janine’s. Her hair managed to get everywhere. It was a nice reminder that she was there somewhere - a dependable figure even in the hardest of times. “I don’t know what we can do, really.” she tutted. “We don’t even have a tree.” 

Sam gave a little gasp, and quickly shuffled over to the window where he held up Cedrick the Cactus. He was a medium sized fluffy plant - whose fuzz were actually tiny spines which Sam found out rather painfully. 5 wasn’t quite sure why she grabbed it off of the shelf, but she didn’t regret it. He kept 5 and Sam entertained, and it gave them something to talk about outside of the insanity of work, how tired they were and whoever had died recently. 

“Let’s decorate Cedrick!” 

“Won’t I be pulling spines out of your hand for the next week again?” 

“No.” He pouted. “Get your crochet, I’ll get a pen and paper. Let’s make some Christmas clothes for him. It will be fun!” 

5 felt her belly rise with giggles that Sam could only bring from her. He was a ray of sunshine - everything good in the world. When 5 was with Sam, she felt like the best version of herself, like the world was lighter and the breeze was fresher. Her heart fluttered and her cheeks began to flush with how much she realised she was smiling. 

“Let me go get dressed and I’ll be with you.” 

“Ah ah ah!” Sam grabbed her hand, gently pulling her back and wrapping his arms around her waist. “Absolutely not. No one gets dressed before midday on Christmas.” 

“If you say so. But I need a shower later. I’ll get dressed then.” 

“I’ll give you one of my shower tokens. My treat.” 

“Don’t you need them?” 

“Nah. I’m clean enough. And I don’t go running multiple times a week. They’re upstairs, I think in my jeans pocket.”

“My crochet is upstairs as well - I’ll grab them on the way. And who knows. If I’m feeling generous later I’ll let you share the shower later.” 5 purred as she slunk out of the room, leaving Sam blushing a deep shade of beetroot red. 

*

5 plodded down the stairs, still in their faded plaid pyjamas as promised, crochet hooks and wool in hand. She turned into the kitchen to see Sam was doodling, colouring and shading. He held the paper happily up - on it was a bundle of red berries and green leaves. “Mistletoe!” he announced proudly. “You know what that means?” 

“No.” Five teased, leaning across the table. She softly held his gaze. Usually, Sam’s eyes darted everywhere, like he was avoiding eye contact with everyone while gaining as much information around him as possible. In moments like this, his eyes - beautiful pools of watercolour brown - held steady and calm. 

“It means you-” he poked 5 on the nose with the paper. “-have to give me a kiss.” 

“Ugh. If you insist.” 5 joked. She placed her hand on the base of Sam’s neck, pulling him across the table and into a kiss. It was deep and long, as the two relaxed into each other. 5 inhaled a smell she’d grown to love so much of marmite, washing powder and ink. Before he pulled away, Sam nuzzled their noses together, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Thank you.” He whispered.

“You’re welcome.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Five sat down, pulling up a chair and setting her crochet on the table. “What do you think I should make?” 

“A little scarf, or a hat maybe. I think a tiny scarf will be easier. If your hand starts to hurt you can help me with the decorations.” 

“All right.” Five started with a quick slip not, starting to make the first chain. “I always feel a little startled when I need to relax. I’m always so on edge that when I set time aside to be quiet and have time to myself I’m always waiting for the proverbial hat to drop.” 

Sam hummed in agreement. “It is hard to relax now isn’t it? With the grey wandering outside the walls and regularly staring death in the ugly maw.” He finished colouring in a little robbin and began to cut around it with the scissors. 

“I thought you were banned from using scissors by Maxine after the great finger slice event.” 

“For your information, that ban was temporary. How was I supposed to know that Maxine had just sharpened her scissors? Who has scissors that sharp anyway?” he subconsciously ran his thumb over the scar on his finger. 

“Who uses massive scissors on such a tiny thing?” 

“Oh, be quiet!” He threw the roll of string at 5’s head. “Can I have that back please.” 

5 leaned down to grab it, and spoke while she slid it across the table. “Events always feel so odd now. And I never quite know how to feel. I’m happy I survived another year I suppose.” She finished off a row and started another. “It’s such a tiny scarf, I’ll be done soon.” 

Sam stood up and boiled the kettle. “I’m just letting the glue set - I won’t spill the hot chocolate powder. Close your mouth runner 5 I can tell exactly what you’ll tease me about.” 

“What do you mean?” She scoffed mockingly. 

“You were going to make fun of me for sticking my hand to my head with aeroplane glue.” 

“I was not.” 

“Yes you were.” 

The two went back and forth, squabbling in good spirits while Sam made the hot chocolate.  

“Oh - Sam look! Cedrick has a little flower. He's bloomed.” 

“He reminds me of you in a way. You thrive in the harshest times, and you are very pretty.” He passed a mug over to 5, giving her a gentle kiss on the head. “You’re my little pretty flower.”

“Thank you, darling.” 5 pulled the final thread through, finishing off the tiny scarf. It wasn’t great, considering she’d not spent long on the thing, and the colours didn’t quite match the decor that Sam made. “It looks so bad.” 

“What? I think it looks good. Christmas trees are not supposed to look good.” 

“Cedrick is a Christmas cactus, and we made this in about 45 minutes. It's more ironic than anything - I don’t think they’re supposed to look good. But, y’know, I like him more because we raised him together, and we decorated him as well.” Sam wrapped an arm around 5’s shoulders, squeezing them comfortingly. “I want to make another one next year. I think it would be a good tradition.”

“I think…I’d like that. Christmas is so traditional - and now for the first time in ages we can’t do all of them. I’m so used to being with everyone at Christmas that it feels almost positive to create new traditions.” 

“I don’t think Christmas will ever not be hard.” Sam mused between sips of hot chocolate and blowing on too hot marshmallows. “I cried one year because I put out 6 sets of cutlery for dinner even though It had been 2 years since my grandad died. No - three.” 

“It will be hard - but with you I feel I can handle it. Thank you, for being there for me Sam. I appreciate you.” 

“I appreciate you too, 5.” He placed his head on top of 

“I think it’s just all been a lot. Even if we are a few years into the apocalypse, Christmas will always feel different. But I am happy I can spend it with you.” 

“You know what I really want to do?” 

“What? Remember it’s not midday yet, so there's no getting dressed. It’s the Christmas law.” 

“No - I follow Christmas law. I want to cuddle and watch the Doctor Who Christmas specials in bed. Do you have them on your laptop?” 

“Do I ever! I thought you’d never ask. That is a new and old Christmas tradition I can get behind.”

[anachronistic-falsehood]

WHSIKEY. bustimg into ur inbox kicking down the door etc. im sorry u r having a bad week !!!! i hope it gets better sooner rather than later but just know it WILL get better eventually i promise . if u r feeling up to it. 🎟 << free pass 2 tell me about the qsmp youre obsessing over the most rn (i have seen . the bald guy with the scar multiple times. and the name fitpac (i think?) who is he. or just the classic catboy cannibal)

MACCCC MY BELOVED MAC MY FRIEND HELLO!!! it WILL get better i am lookin for places to live outside of this town and finding a job wherever i go can WAIT. first step is moving out!!! then FUCK IT WE BALL

@stuck-in-the-ghost-zone listen i NEED u to read this. bc OH MY GOD MAC u don't know how hilarious it is that u think fitpac is one person’s name. oh my god. the bald guy's name is FitMC and he is from 2b2t and he is an anarchist. and u know the guy who got his leg eaten by my beloved catboy???? his name is PacTW!!! and their ship name is fitpac and their characters are seen together like 90% of the time when theyre both online THEY TRULY ARE INSEPARABLE AT THIS POINT IT'S INSANE!!! the ccs are super fun to watch and the characters are so silly and i love them :3 qfit is on a mission to collect player data on the island and send it to his contractor back in 2b2t but he got distracted by Being Gay with pac and they've had this slowburn romance going on like since july i think?? i started watching in august so idk everything but they have been flirting for a long time, and considering cellbit got married to roier like two months after they met, fitpac feels like the slowest of slowburns EVER. WE ARE SUFFERING!!! BUTTTTT qfit recently said that he was going to TALK TO PAC ABOUT HIS FEELINGS next time pac is online and we are ECSTATIC mac!!! qfit's son is personally pouring gasoline on the slowburn. ramon number one fitpac wingman. the slowburn is a bonfire now. we are moving forward. hoping for a spring wedding!!!

fit's solo lore is really fucking cool too though, like his whole thing with his contractor from 2b, and he's immune to this kind of dark matter infection that's been spreading across the island and we don't know how, and HE'S SO INTERESTING I WANNA SQUISH HIM LIKE A STRESS TOY!!! he also has actively said that he doesn't care if he himself dies, but his son wants him alive so he will stay for ramon. FUCKED UP!!! also pac's lore is really cool, his history with cellbit is forever going to be my most favourite thing to think about!!! he recently saw cellbit again and cellbit called him queridinho [sweetie/darling in portuguese] and stabbed him with a machete while pac was crying and shaking like a wet rat BUT HE WAS SO BRAVE FOR BEING THERE AT ALL AND NOT RUNNING AWAY I LOVE MY SAD LITTLE MISERABLE RAT BOY <3 his platonic soulmate Mike recently woke up from a cocaine induced coma (don't ask) so i'm very excited to see them reunite :3

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

"Wait, why is Loki naked?!?!"

This is The Mighty Thor issue 359, originally published September 1985. I should preface this by saying I have absolutely zero context for this comic. It is the oldest comic, Loki-related or otherwise, that I have ever read in its entirety, so aside from any context provided by the author, I have no idea what happens before or after. My knowledge going into it is this: the cover is vaguely reminiscent of a couple pieces of fan art I've seen (that I do not have sources or screenshots of at the moment, I'm sorry): one, a slightly more harmonious sibling AU with Thor and Loki seemingly willingly kneeling at Hela's feet, and another where Hela says "Kneel before your queen," and Thor kneels at Loki's (in fem form) feet. Additionally, I know Lorelei, and I don't like her. I don't dislike her as much as I dislike her sister, but neither of them are my favorite. Finally, I skimmed this last weekend when I started getting fixated on Sigyn just to see if she was in it. While I don't think I saw her, Loki DOES NOT WHERE A SHIRT for MOST of the issue, and I am greatly distressed (hence the title). This is why I'm actually reading it. Let's get into it. (EDIT: Loki does not actually get all the way naked, but oh boy does he try to get as much skin passed the 80s censors as possible!)

If the "In the service of Loki" doesn't get vaguely homoerotic, I'm gonna be mad.

My God, these old comics have a lot of words.

I guess even macho Asgardian gods were not immune to the fads of the 80s. Those leg warmers, damn, Heimdall.

No, get Amora out of here! She's just gonna make shit worse. Let's see where this goes. Maybe Loki just wants to, I don't know, invest in the arts and institute safety regulations as king. Just a thought.

Listen, I know nothing, so a Sif/Beta Ray Bill romance that ended as suddenly as I was aware it existed comes as out of left field for me as the forty-year-old Fig Newtons ad on the next page.

AMORA! You just wanted to kiss your sister's drugged up boyfriend!!!

I cannot with this fucking bird Lorelei rides. I'm dying.

Amora, you literally just said yourself that he was under an enchantment. What is this going to do?

Uh, RUDE.

Oh, hang on. Loki doesn't even know this is happening? Is that why he's naked shirtless when he finally shows up?

Ookay. He is naked. Because he's fucking Lorelei. Now it makes sense.

Yup. Also this reaction image is so funny, I'm dying!

I am uncomfortable.

I'M SHRIEKING! Why did they reference this weird, random, old comic about a convoluted triangle of seduction where Loki is naked the whole time in Ragnarok???!!! This is the most incredible thing I've seen all week. I'm going to be thinking about this forever. Does he pull this shit with Loki often? Is this a common thing? Is this a coincidence? I don't give a shit; I'm going to tell everybody I know as if I know for a fact that this is just some strange piece of trivia about Marvel and I don't care if it's accurate or not.

"This cloak EMPTY. YEET!" --Thor, probably, if this comic was published 35 years later than it was. (Also it is important to me that you understand: She was not wearing the cloak before he did this. It was hanging up. He comes over to her, takes the cloak off the wall as he goes, then wraps it around her while he does some magical feat of ventriloquy by talking while he full-on snogs her on the mouth. And then he yeets the motherfucker out of the cloak.)

Thor, Sif is also fucking someone else. This is a goddamn soap opera. I'm gonna need to make a diagram.

Thor gets on his knees a lot in this comic. Also the service of Loki byline was a fucking lie. He's not kneeling to Loki on the cover but Lorelei. He speaks to his brother for five minutes and it's while he's threatening to smash his face in with Mjolnir.

Please excuse my god-awful handwriting or the fact that I almost misspelled Lorelei's name twice or the fact that the apostrophe in fuckin' looks like an exclamation point.

[lesbianslovebts]

I just had a very unpleasant experience while trying to take my mom out for Mother's Day. 🙃First, we visited Gramma in the hospital and brought her some gifts. Then we went for lunch. While we were waiting to be seated, a man was waiting for his wife and daughter. He wished us a happy Mother's Day. My mom said thanks and mentioned that we'd just come from wishing her mom a happy Mother's Day at the hospital. The man offered a hug, and my mom accepted. It lasted a little longer than one might expect for a stranger, but it was a kind gesture. My mom and I were seated at the hibachi grill first, and then the man, his wife, and his daughter joined us. We had a good time chatting. It was the kid's first time there, so she had a lot of fun.

Then the man started getting drunk(er). He talked nonstop, didn't make a whole lot of sense anymore, and then started taking pictures of his wife and daughter. And then us. He asked for our permission after already taking several of literally just me and my mom. He was holding his phone above his head, not looking at the screen, and repeatedly pressing the button with his thumb. He probably had several dozen of us at this point.

Then he got up, came all the way over to our end of the table, squatted by my mom, and kept babbling on about who knows what. He was whispering things that didn't make sense and breathing on my mom's food while she was trying to eat it. My mom discreetly squeezed my leg because she knew I was getting uncomfortable. His wife asked the server for the bill, and he takes out his credit card and flicked it at me as if to say he'd pick up our bill. I wasn't 100% sure that's what he intended, though, so I didn't say thanks yet so that he wouldn't feel obligated if I had indeed misunderstood.

Now, both my mom and I wore masks into the restaurant and took them off to eat. I finished my food first and put my mask back on, as I always do. However, he'd just come to sit next to me when I put it on, and that really upset him. Also, as he drunkenly scooted forward, he kneed me in the leg, which made me jump because I am autistic and don't do well with touch. That made him even more mad.

He told me that our bill was taken care of. I thanked him. My mom didn't hear him over the fan. He said it louder. I thanked him again. His wife said, "You paid for theirs, too?!" My mom clarified with me that he'd covered our bill, and I said yes. My mom did the whole, "Oh, are you sure? You didn't have to. I'm very appreciative, thank you" thing. But he was looking at me and said, "Take your mask off and say hi." I did not take my mask off and explained that I am immunocompromised. My mom confirmed I've always had a weak immune system. He asked her if I was on chemo. We said no. He asked if I had cancer. We said no, I just have a weak immune system. My mom repeated how surprised she was that he was kind enough to pay for our meal.

But at this point, he was clearly regretting it. He told me he didn't know why he did when I wouldn't take my mask off. Both my mom and his wife were trying to placate him while I stood my ground. He wanted a handshake. My mom shook his hand. He asked me if I would do an air handshake, and I did. Then he started telling me to listen to a certain frequency(?). He was saying a bunch of numbers that I'm sure are dogwhistles for something horrible. He told me to do some research, to look up Nikola Tesla. I knew for sure something was really off then. Then we was telling us not to let the Devil in, etc.

My mom reiterated our gratitude while his wife and daughter tried to usher him out, but he wouldn't move. My mom and I slipped off to the bathroom and then to my car. His wife apologized on his behalf in the parking lot when we passed her. As we got on the road, we talked about it, and I explained what some of his words meant. I'm not sure what all the numbers were about, and I don't remember them all, but that man literally paid for my meal and then told me to die because I'm not worthy of life. 🙃

Here's a lovely quote from Nikola Tesla:

[constantvariations]

V9C5

Got that post-workout bliss and a plate of pizza rolls, so I’m raring to go!

Post Ep: whoever decided the rusted knight “twist” should step on a lego every five minutes for the rest of their lives

Wait why is Ruby running? The last episode ended with the caterpillar being dropped through the floor by the cat, so are they running from the cat? Was the growth yogurt ready, and if so did they grab it ($50 on no)

“I’m so glad the four of you are still the four of you.” Is this excluding Little because they didn’t get hit with the Character Arc tm dust? (Now that I think about it, why didn’t Little have a vision? Did we just not see it or are they immune somehow?)

“You’re the one who ditched us in the first place” okay, Weiss, firstly Ruby stopped following the cat so that’s mostly on her. Secondly, why are you being antagonistic to the one creature you can’t afford to offend because it’s the one creature who can get you to the tree?

“...someone return to the Ever After.” How can you return to a place you’re already in? Is there a reprogramming center or something? If you veer too far off from your role you get reset? Reminds me of the re-educators of the Dragon Age Qun

They’re really laying on thick the whole “Everything is what it isn’t, and what it is, it wouldn’t be” (shout out to that one Shinedown song from the live action Alice in Wonderland)

All this talk of what happened to the caterpillar just sounds like a shitty mishmash of the Ship of Theseus, Schrodinger’s cat, and a reset button

So the Red King underwent the Ever Again program (I’m just gonna call it that, roll with it) and came out a kid? Was that by design or does everyone basically get reborn? Does that mean the racoon hasn’t been Agained since Alyx?

Oh they call it Ascension? How Devil May Cry of you. Also I ain’t calling it that. I like my Agained verbage

“Nose hair from a leprechaun.” I am half expecting a Rocket Racoon bit here

Straight up ditching someone you know is acting off because ~ew nose hair~ is... something else. And there goes Blake trailing after Yang’s coattails again because we! need! that! bee! bait!

This cat is far too lenient with these assholes. They just straight up jumped on his head without asking because who needs to respect people’s autonomy amiright fellas?

Goddammit bring the cat back right now I can’t stand Little’s voice and cOmEdY

Okay all the lights going out one by one is hella creepy gg

“I thought this was lost forEVER” why does Ruby sound like a highschool girl complaining about drama this deadass made me burst out laughing Also, is that the same sword from the Red Kingdom or a different one?

Okay the android is cool as shit I will admit that. The chain as hair is absolutely fantastic

Was that Summer in the axe blade? An axe is not what I would have expected of a Ruby clone. Those are hard-hitting and slow, usually used by the tanks, while Summer and Ruby’s figures suggest more agile approaches. If it were more of a hatchet size, I could see that, especially as a dual-wield

Pocket dimension blacksmith shop? Sign me the fuck up please

I think I’m going to strangle Weiss. You literally just saw her standing in the middle of the road, staring at and talking to nobody, and you fucking whine? I hope someone stabs her with her own tiara jfc

“It contains a mother’s promise” BITCH WHEN WAS THIS ESTABLISHED AND WHY WAS THAT THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF TO GIVE AWAY I’M GONNA BURN A FIRE HYDRANT

“We do not ascend” oh you mean die? That thing you said didn’t happen here? Dying? Was there even a second reading of the script or did yall just smoke with the originals?

Yes Ruby go right past the hostile creature instead of literally any other direction. Yall deserve whatever hell you make

Why is Ruby carrying everyone constantly? Their legs aint broke girl. Go be a distraction while they go for the yogurt goddamn

The giant jackrabbit’s cool ngl

Like how one scoop only grew them to doll sized but whatever was left after it was splattered grew them all to the right size

The jackrabbit’s name is Juniper. Both cute and cringe

GODDAMMIT IT HAD TO BE JAUNE

WHY

HE FELL LAST

THAT SHOULDVE BEEN YANG

FUCK YOU CRWBY

[starrystar]

Woohoo; the last one!! Transcribed:

68

Bubbly sage green background

Eventually there were no more surprises. Just grimly hanging on for the rest of the infusions.

Five more…

Four more…

Three more…

Two more…

One more…

Done

I didn’t really believe it was over, though. It didn’t seem possible.

69

Orange sherbert type of background

Five months is a long time to do anything

When the next week rolled around and I didn’t have chemo, it felt strange.

I was also exhausted.

Speech bubble: Ok, yeah, I see what they mean by “cumulative.” zzz…

All the news was great. I had scans and another MRI and they showed that Tumor-Bob had shrunk by 99%. It had all been a rousing success. 

I should have felt happier about that. 

70

Bright orange red background Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t unhappy about it. I just kept waiting for the relief. You know, the great weight lifting.

Speech bubble: Any minute now…

But it didn’t happen. It didn’t feel like it was almost over. It didn’t feel like a thing that could be over. 

71

Oddly fleshy background, like a scar

“Maybe after surgery,” I thought. 

Surgery was scary. I had total faith in my surgeon, but this was still uncharted territory. Was I gonna have a weird boob divot? Was I gonna have edema from the lymph nodes being removed? Was I gonna die on the table from the anesthesia and a previously unknown allergy?

I’d hated chemo but at least I knew the next thing to expect.

Spoiler alert: I did not die on the table.

I woke up with a massive incision in my armpit and an ugly scar across the side of my boob. Oddly, I wasn’t that upset. If you’re gonna have cancer, might as well get an impressive-looking scar.

72

Blue alcohol ink splotches background

There was a slight disagreement about painkillers.

Dr: Lots of patient get by on just tylenol!

Speech bubble: Give me oxycontin or give me death.

Dr: um…

Speech bubble: I am not selling these on the black market. If the black market tries to take them, I will beat it to death with a chair.

They gave me more painkillers. My breast didn’t hurt at all. It was my armpit that was killing me. Armpits are like knees—they connect to everything and you don’t notice until they go bad. 

Also I had to wear a sports bra day and night for two weeks. 

Note: What is with doctors and painkillers?! Though to her credit, she was like “I am so sorry you’re in pain! Let me write a new prescription!” 

73

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The surgeon called the next day. They got it all. I didn’t have cancer any more.

Huh.

My mom and my husband and about a thousand people on the internet were ecstatic. It was weird. I think I felt happier that they were happy than anything else. It didn’t seem terribly real to me. In the past, I’ve won major awards, and I never quite believed it at the time. It wouldn’t be until like six months later that it would sink in. Of course, by then everybody’s moved on and it feels weird to talk about it. This was not an award. 

Speech bubble: This better not be one of those delayed-action PTSD things…

Note: (Still not sure if it’s PTSD.)

74

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But then I started to feel worse. And worse… And worse…

Pretty soon I was close to bedridden. When I stood up, my legs hurt a lot. I was exhausted. Also I stopped eating almost completely, which it turns out isn’t good for your energy levels either.

Speech bubble: Is this from the chemo? (It wasn’t.) Is it the drugs? (It wasn’t.) Long covid? (It wasn’t.)

Speech bubble with a dashed outline: Is it gonna be like this forever…?

Note: That last bit was the really scary one. (It was, uh, pretty bad. Never been bedridden before. Don’t recommend it.)

75

Orange and black inky background like opaque inks dropped into water

Dr: I do not know what is wrong, but I will find out.

Speech bubble: Oh thank god.

And she did.

It turned out that one of the immunotherapy drugs I had taken months earlier taught my immune system to attack cancer cells. (Amazing stuff, really.) 

Unfortunately, in less than one percent of patients, it taught the immune system to attach other cells too. My pituitary gland was now dead in the water. The pituitary tells the adrenal glands to make cortisol. 

Note: Shout out to Doctor Pinkeye who had it sorted in two business days. Also, when I first reported my symptoms, she said “You never complain about anything. If you say something’s wrong, it is.” She’s a doctor in a million.

76

Bright green and kind of abstractly leafy background

You hear about the bad effects of high cortisol levels, but let me tell you, having none at all is much worse. Cortisol is one of those chemicals that controls about fifty different things. I would have eventually gone into shock and ended up in the ICU with acute adrenal failure. 

My doctor figured it out and had me on replacement cortisol in two days. 

Fortunately, it’s an easy fix. I would probably be getting my cortisol in pill form for the rest of my life, and I had to get a medicalert bracelet, but that was all. 

Speech bubble: Eh, still better than cancer. 

I felt better so fast that it was almost ridiculous. After that interlude, radiation was practically a non-event. I drove to the clinic five times a week for a month, got a hellacious sunburn on my underboob, and then was done. 

Note: Lack of cortisol can cause problems in about twenty different ways, including dangerous levels of potassium and blowing your electrolytes all to hell. It’s actually kinda interesting, in a “wow, look at all the fascinating ways I could keel over!” way.

Honestly, after two months of slowly crashing cortisol levels, complaining about radiation would have felt like complaining over a hangnail. It was boring and I moisturized a lot, the end.

Also there are some quite nice MedicAlert bracelets on Etsy.

77

Light purple background shot with gold

I got my prot out. It was an incredible piece of technology and I hated it so goddamn much. 

I had some follow-up appointments. Everyone agreed I was fine. There was a chance Bob might come back, but not a big chance. It’s been a few months now. My hair is growing back in. I’m slower and I need to rest a little more often, but not that much more often, I visited Australia for the first time and spent five hours wandering around the Melbourne Botanical Gardens after birds. I did a pretty intense boob tour. And…I was okay. 

It’s starting to feel like cancer is a thing that happened, not something that will always be happening. I wish I had something clever or meaningful or uplifting to say, but I don’t. Maybe there doesn’t always have to be a moral. You don’t have to come out a better and wiser person. Sometimes random shit just happens and it sucks and you go on. 

See you in hell, Bob. 

Speech bubble: Good riddance! 

Note: And here is hoping I never have to make another one of these!

The Saga of Bob: Endgame (hopefully)

This one was awhile coming. Partly I was afraid that if I posted it, the tumor would come back the next day, and partly I had some complications that took awhile to iron out. But here we are, at long last, sans Bob.

You can learn all about how I had cancer in Part One or hit the prior episode at Part Seven.

What is with doctors and painkillers?! Though to her credit, she was like “I am so sorry you’re in pain! Let me write a new prescription!”

(Still not sure if it’s PTSD.)

That last bit was the really scary one. (It was, uh, pretty bad. Never been bedridden before. Don’t recommend it.)

Shout out to Doctor Pinkeye who had it sorted in two business days. Also, when I first reported my symptoms, she said “You never complain about anything. If you say something’s wrong, it is.” She’s a doctor in a million.

Lack of cortisol can cause problems in about twenty different ways, including dangerous levels of potassium and blowing your electrolytes all to hell. It’s actually kinda interesting, in a “wow, look at all the fascinating ways I could keel over!” way.

Honestly, after two months of slowly crashing cortisol levels, complaining about radiation would have felt like complaining over a hangnail. It was boring and I moisturized a lot, the end.

Also there are some quite nice MedicAlert bracelets on Etsy.

And here is hoping I never have to make another one of these!

[lostacelonnie]

True but thats like. Part of the charm almost. All the issues. Yeah thankfully the days are lengthening again & the terrible holiday season has finally passed, which made me. So tired. Hence my response delay. Yeah they should chill but im glad that the last bit was. Easy for you? I was around my family for like. A day. & it was exhausting i can only imagine what a week takes out of you. I wish more americans were like that some guy tried to talk to me a bit at the theater yesterday when i went to see godzilla minus one & it was exhausting. Also funny story everyone at my work was so exhausted last week i said something in spanish to my co worker from el salvador & he completely did not understand because of exhaustion. Oh that pretty cool. I had to learn so that i wasn't like. Having sandwiches & ramen all the time & now im trying to find time to make my own bread so like. Slippery slope. But yeah knowing a few recipes is always a good idea. Thats always the best, having friends who are chill with quiet. Does anyone have a good school? I will believe in the process because star rail is also giving me that pain with argenti's story quest & ruan mei's swarm thing. Ah okay so antimatter legion but less controlled in a way. Oh so thats what herscherr means. How come some have like multiple herscherr forms if ive seen right? Entymology is very interesting i love it. I sure need to remember traces & such more i keep forgetting. & it shows in my multi target dps characters. Worlds worst wingwoman indeed i love her. Cant wait to get further into it & see more claire. Roguelikes are a lot of fun i enjoy them greatly. I thought they would annoy me but hades proved me wrong. Noita sounds fun ill check it out at some point. Himeko mvp of all time she better survive penacony. Whoa that's a lot of seele lore. I love her damn. Explains her a bit in star rail too. What with sea of quanta, themes of death, scythe as a weapon. Also cocolia connection. And bronya really went hard for seele damn i love her too. Are her legs being broken why she like. Uses something to hover in the game? Have any other bronya facts? Or mei? Im glad your polish post radar works so well.

it really is ADHFGLSKFKG. and god yeah FINALLY. also happy new year!!!!!! very late but still!!!!!! this was my first week back in school after the holidays [well. actually it was Two Days] but im already tired. aooougugh. but oh well! GOD. my family In General is like. Fine. i really dont mind them. but i have to stay with my grandma who is just impossible to coexist with...... luckily my mom allowed me to mostly just hang out in our room and not interact with her that much since she shares my opinion. and augh that sounds. Irritating. i enjoy being left the fuck alone. AHDKKS it really is like that........ on wednesdays we have 8 am classes with the one teacher we have that speaks Exclusively spanish so we often do a irl co op mission with the entire group if we wanna convey like literally any message to her. and oh understandable!!! im probably gonna end up the same way sjfkgj. my mom never really taught me to cook since she doesnt like to do it [which, i get it] but i personally really enjoy the process so well see how that goes. AND FOR REAL i genuinely do not believe theres such thing as a good school. or even a Normal school. also fairrrrrr i actually returned to star rail for ruan mei [<- not immune to Pretty Autistic Women] and also had trouble with the swarm boss...... actually made me update my clara build. can you believe this. but tbh i havent done argentis quest yet and im fully spoiler free so im gonna see how that goes JDJGKKSJG. and yeah!! and with multiple herrscher forms its like. usually people obtain multiple herrscher forms either in like. change in belief? approach? which lets them harness other parts of their power [or add new ones], like in the case of HoFlamescion or HoTruth; merge [HoRimestar]; or find a new external source of their power [CE HoOrigin, HoFinality]. but i dont believe its ever explained in Detail so yeah. but generally, the power of a herrscher is stored in their herrscher core, so obtaining multiple cores can give people multiple authorities [like in the case of sirin]. but as i said, typical Honkai Confusion. ETYMOLOGY IS SUPER FUN YEAH...... and for real. if manaria has 1000 fans i am one of them if manaria has 1 fan its me against the world if manaria has no fans i am dead. noita IS fun but i should warn you youre not gonna get anywhere without external guidance. i mean. Maybe you will but its gonna be frustrating as hell and near impossible. its that kind of game. but the fanbase knows that and is actually very helpful!!! solving this games secrets is a team effort. as of right now i have 63h in and 2 wins [got one today, actually! congrats, me.] but i rec it heavily. its fun. AND YES GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HI3 FANS SCARED ARE FOR HSR HIMEKO. they cant take her from us again............ AND YES SEELE. I LOVE SEELE. its actually canon she has a kind of "you are not immune to seele" aura that makes people unable to say no to her bc of just how much of a lovely person she is. and yes that is the reason bronya floats around ingame!!! AND WELL. due to the fact that bronya and mei are both a part of the Main Trio, telling you. literally Any amount of lore about them would take me way too fucking long. and im so sorry but im just mentally unable to do that. and thank you o7 polska gurom ‼‼‼‼💯💯💥🔥💥‼💯🔥💥

[pippytmi]

16 + 4 + 2 (werewolf supercorp?)

It is not uncommon for Kara to wake up in a puddle of blood.

At this point she is immune to the shock that comes with it, really. She has adapted; knows all the best tricks to get stains out of her clothes, knows all the best laundromats that don’t ask any questions. Heck, she even has Alex’s ex-girlfriend on speed dial, just in case there is a freak chance the blood Kara wakes up in might be human (it has not happened yet, knock on wood).

But there are other parts that still take some getting used to. Like, for example, the loss of memory that comes with every night of the full moon. Because yeah, she understands why she wakes up in a pool of blood. What she doesn’t understand is why this time around she wakes up in a pool of her own blood, and in so much pain that it hurts to open her eyes.

“Ow,” Kara whispers to herself, twisting onto her side with a groan. Her clothes are gone—no surprise—but even as she is laying down on the cold, rocky forest floor, the only thing she can focus on is how much her head hurts. She’s dealt with branch scratches, sore legs and arms, the occasional plethora of bug bites, but never a headache. Her one comfort is that at least she has made it into the backyard of Sam’s cabin. It takes a considerable amount of strength to push herself up off the ground; walking is going to be much harder than anticipated.

If Alex saw her now, she'd—well first she would hit Kara over the head and yell at her about being dumb, but afterwards she would snicker. And probably hit her over the head again for good measure.

“Oh my God—!”

Okay, it’s official. Kara is now dead. Even if the stranger gawking at her is not the one who kills her, Alex definitely will.

And it’s that thought that makes Kara drop right back down on the floor, knocking the wind right out of her lungs, and she groans into the dirt pitifully.

“Oh, fuck,” the stranger whispers, almost as if to herself, scrambling to come to Kara’s side. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck this shit. Fuck!” Said stranger belatedly claps a hand over her mouth, green eyes widening in horror. “Holy shit, are you alive?”

Kara pitifully rests her cheek against the ground and tries not to look too offended. “Uh, kind of,” she replies. (So this must not be Sam’s cabin, then.) “Sorry. Am I in your yard? It is a very nice yard. Five stars.”

“No, it’s not my—I’m house-sitting,” the woman explains, though she is giving Kara a look that says really? That’s what you want to focus on right now?

“Well, it’s still a nice place,” Kara says, because she is polite and small talk is always a good thing to fall back on when you’re naked on a pile of dead leaves. “Wait, I don’t suppose you’re house-sitting for Sam, are you? Sam Arias, super tall, has a daughter who is freakishly good at checkers?”

Stranger-who-swears-like-a-sailor frowns. “How do you know Sam?” she asks suspiciously.

“She dated my sister. It was a whole—it’s a thing,” Kara says. “You know?”

“Wait. Are you Kara? Are you Alex’s sister?”

“Yes! So you do know!” Kara would grin if her face were capable of any emotion besides mind-shattering pain. “Then you must be Sam’s friend…uh, bear with me…Lena? Or Jess?”

“Lena,” says the woman, still notably wary, so Kara makes the decision to wiggle until she can prop herself up her elbows and look less, well, like a corpse.

“Hey, got it in one!” Kara says as cheerfully as she can muster. “Well, it’s nice to meet you. And can I just—uh, say—that you don’t have to worry. I won’t die here or anything. I know you would obviously be the number one suspect for murder and it wouldn’t be nice of me to put you through that.”

“…right. Never mind that you would be dead, or anything.” Lena begins to shakily unbutton her coat like a woman possessed, as if her doubt has morphed entirely into concern now that she has confirmation the freak naked in Sam’s backyard is not an entire stranger. “Here, this is long enough to cover you. Do you—do you need help getting up?”

“No, no, I’ve got it, thank you,” Kara insists, and gradually, she manages; she shifts sideways and then tentatively onto her butt, and accepts the coat when it’s all but thrown at her face. There is blood mixed in with the leaves and general guck beneath her, and she winces at the sight. “I’ll come back and clean this later,” she’s quick to add, and Lena frowns in response.

“Are you serious? Forget cleaning, you need—stitches, at the very least. I can take you to the hospital if—”

“Oh no, you don’t have to do that!” Kara blurts out, and with the adrenaline from that burst of energy she’s able to scramble to her feet. She is shaky, unsteady, but she manages to stay upright at least and she’ll count that as a win. “Shoot. I’m sorry for yelling. I just—no hospitals. I can’t do hospitals.” She has never had to form an excuse for this, and her mouth can’t quite wrap around the right words.

But Lena—green eyes wide and unsure, skin pale in the early morning light—nods, like she understands. “Okay,” she says. “No hospitals.”

“Thanks,” Kara mumbles, wrapping the coat tightly around herself. There are startling black spots in her vision and her head still feels like it was used as a piñata; she wonders what the heck her next move should be now. If Sam needs someone to house-sit, she must be out of the city. And if Sam is out of the city, Kara can’t exactly waltz into Sam’s house to wash all the blood off her body (and then call up Alex from the couch while stealing whatever ice cream Ruby picked). Sam lets her do that, sure, but that’s Sam. It would be pretty rude to do that when Lena is right here.

“Do you…” And Lena pauses, nose scrunching up as if something has just occurred to her. “I can give you a ride somewhere else, if you’d like. Back to your house?”

“No, that’s okay,” Kara hurries to decline, because how can she really explain that she lives in an apartment, and that if little old Mrs. Jensen saw her coming up covered in blood she’d finally succumb to her third heart attack? “Can I just use Sam’s phone to call my sister? Then I’ll come right back out here, I promise.”

“Why would you come back out here again?” Underneath her coat, Lena is wearing plaid pajama pants that are rolled at the ankle (Sam’s, most likely), and a tank top that is extremely fitted. Very, very well fitted. Like, you-can-tell-it’s-frigidly-cold-outside-kind-of-fitted.

Kara coughs and tries not to let on how her train of thought has twisted. “Because…I’m a stranger?” she tries. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Remember, if you die I’m going to be the first one they question,” Lena says, tilting her head expectantly in the direction of Sam’s cabin. “Come inside, warm up. Call your sister.” All things considered, she is far more concerned than Kara expected her to be—as if, somehow, ridding herself of the weirdo walking around bloody and probably concussed isn’t the very first thing on Lena’s mind.

So Kara doesn’t look a gift horse in the mouth; she accepts the offer. It’s a small comfort that if she really does get murdered by a total stranger, it won’t be while cold and naked.

Lena goes right into Sam’s room the instant they go inside, already gathering a million outfits for Kara to pick through. “The shower is fickle, but it does have hot water,” she says, adding a towel to the pile in Kara’s arms when she re-emerges. “You just have to—”

“Hit the wall twice, and give it a few seconds,” Kara finishes. “Yeah, Sam reminds me every time.”

“So you…visit Sam often, do you?”

“Uh.” And suddenly, despite the long, cold night she’s had, the air indoors feels a bit warmer than is comfortable. “Only sometimes.” Once a month, Kara thinks, and Lena crosses her arms and just stares.

Really stares, dragging those sharp green eyes up and down Kara’s whole body. Squints at the scratches on her face, scrunches her nose at the way Kara awkwardly shifts from side to side. Finally Lena speaks, and it’s only to say, “It’s you, isn’t it?”

“...come again?”

“It’s you. Sam told me she’s been helping out a friend with a—furry predicament—”

If it were possible to choke on air, Kara would be dead right now. “Did she really call it furry? But she’s also—!” She has to pause, now, because she feels an urge to clarify, “Wait. Are we talking about the same thing right now?”

Lena narrows her eyes slightly. “You mean talking about how you’re a werewolf?”

“Oh!” Head lighter, Kara sucks in a laugh that makes her ribs feel like they are splintering open. “Then yes. That’s good, I didn’t want you to think I was a—anyway. I didn’t think Sam told anyone.”

“Sam and I have been friends for a long time,” Lena says slowly. A beat. “She actually ate my hamster once.”

Kara winces. “Recently?”

“No! Back in the fifth grade,” Lena frowns, like she might’ve added dumbass at the end of the sentence. “I’m a grown woman. I don’t own hamsters.”

“What? Come on, having pets isn’t just a kid thing,” Kara says. “I used to have a cat, but he…”

“Oh my God, you ate him?”

Kara’s jaw drops. “What—no! He turned out to already have an owner, so she took him back. He just liked to wander into my apartment.” She hugs the clothing pile tighter to her chest, and tries her hardest to scowl. “I’m responsible, okay? Most of the time. I’m not dangerous.”

“Except to deer, or rabbits, or whatever else you killed last night?” Lena quirks an eyebrow, but surprisingly not in a manner that’s judge-y. Just…curious.

“Right,” Kara says defeatedly, and her head throbs enough that her grip on Sam’s clothes begins to falter. “Sorry. I wasn't trying to be defensive or anything.”

“That's alright.” And stranger still, Lena reaches out to gently touch the side of Kara’s head. “So does the same thing happen to you?”

“Huh?” The proximity has scrambled Kara’s brain momentarily, and she finds herself unthinkingly holding her breath.

“Do you also black out,” Lena clarifies. “Like Sam does, every time she shifts.”

“Oh. Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s—a universal wolf thing,” Kara says.

Lena hums, and her hand retracts. “And are you a serial killer in wolf form?”

“Uh, I hope not? I’m pretty sure all this is…” Kara gestures over her body with one hand, still hugging the pile of clothes with the other. “Not human.”

“Okay.” Lena casually walks away, but pauses to throw over her shoulder, “I’ll help you clean up your head once you’re out of the shower. I’ve helped Sam a hundred times.”

“Are you—do you have some kind of healing magic, or—”

“Close. I’m an ER nurse,” Lena says amusedly, and when she smiles a dimple emerges on one cheek. “All the witches I know have fled the city, so I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”

“You joke, but Alex dated this witch once, and she hexed my sister to spill her first sip of coffee every time she went to take a drink for three weeks straight after they broke up,” Kara says, and Lena again scrunches her nose in that quizzical way.

“Seriously? Witches are real too?”

“Duh,” Kara says lightly. “What, you thought it stopped at werewolves? Please. I’m pretty sure the neighbor two doors down is a gorgon.”

“Well, it would explain her fondness of statues,” Lena says, strangely nonplussed. “I’ve never asked, but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised at this point. How do you take your coffee?” As she asks, Lena deposits a few fingers of whiskey into a mug, and at Kara’s questioning look says, “Sorry, we’re all out of painkillers. This is as good as you’re going to get.”

“Maybe I’ll do better if it’s straight,” Kara says, unable to hide her grimace, while Lena shrugs a shoulder as if to say it’s your funeral.

So after Kara showers, she sits on the couch and sips gross whiskey out of a chipped mug that reads World’s Best Mom in bright pink letters. Lena has turned on the TV to the local news station—clearly she has stayed with Sam before—and a man on screen is recounting a tale of how he hit a giant wolf strolling too close to his farm with a baseball bat.

“If I had my shotgun I would’ve killed the fucker,” he swears, red in the face, and above her Lena gives a little scoff.

“What a dick,” Lena says, her hand steadily stitching up the wound on Kara’s scalp, and her voice has a hint of an accent; it’s really cute, actually, and Kara doesn’t even mind that the next poke of the needle is sharper than the others.

It is the strangest morning Kara has ever had. Drinking whiskey before eight in the morning, with a kind stranger who she’s barely met but is suturing her skin together, who smells faintly of lavender soap and strong black coffee.

“—National City is not safe when wolves are wandering close to homes—”

The scent of rich hot chocolate bubbling on the stove is beginning to fill the room, the ancient pipes are rumbling throughout the walls, and Lena’s fingers are soft against her head. Kara closes her eyes and decides that she will wait a little longer before she calls Alex to pick her up.

[winter-soldier-vibes]

You’re not going to work (Bucky x Reader)

Bucky x reader

Word count: 1612

Summary: Bucky comes back from a long mission so excited to see you. Little does he know, you have a full schedule that day. At least, you planned to. No way is he going to wait any longer. 

Warnings: no explicit anything this is mainly just fluff. The ending hints at a few things but really, Bucky just wants cuddles. 

A/N: This is just a fun one I had an idea for. One night right before I fell asleep I was like ‘Bucky would be cute begging for cuddles’ and voila. It’s a bit of a change of pace for me but I hope you enjoy it!

A/N 2 : This is my first time writing something like this so I apologize if it’s not fantastic. 

Tags: @abitgryffindorky @buckys2thicc @buckfics @thatfangirl42 @freigeistundanderes

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Bucky nearly collapsed back into his seat on the quinjet after boarding. He might have had the serum, but that didn’t mean he was immune from exhaustion and soreness. He’d be fine by tomorrow but for right now, all he can do is lean back and close his eyes.

He was fine with going on missions. It was a part of the job, and he enjoyed helping people. Beating HYDRA’s ass was also a nice plus. He was also able to plan for it: he knew when a mission would be and approximately how long it would be. He knew what to expect. 

For the most part, mission briefings were pretty accurate. Some are overestimated.

Some are gravely underestimated. 

They expected to be home later the night they left. Bucky scoffed now at the idea of that. They had been fighting for a few days, with roughly a few hours scattered throughout to regroup. He had prepared himself to not see you for 12 hours at most. 

It had been 4 days. He was exhausted, he was sore, but more painful than that, he missed you. 

He wanted nothing more than to come back to the compound, ignore all traffic laws on the way to your shared apartment, and spend the entire day with you in his arms.

He sighed contently. He couldn’t wait. So when he arrived back and saw that you were dressed for work, his heart stuttered. 

He was meant to get back Friday night. It was now Tuesday morning, and you had a day full of meetings. 

You still had your back to him as he entered. When you heard the door close, you turned around, a smile spreading wide on your face.

“You’re back!” you said excitedly, staying in your place. You were so happy to see him, but your smile faltered slightly when you saw how worn out he looked. He smiled back at you, but you could tell the mission had been brutal on him.

Still he walked toward you and moved to hug you and you stepped back. Bucky looked like you had kicked him. 

“Sorry, I just… I have work.” you said, looking down at your white blouse. 

“Too bad,” he said, pulling you in for a hug. 

“Bucky!” you exclaimed, trying to pull back. Bucky wouldn’t budge though, and you were no match for the grip of his bear hug. He held you tightly and closed his eyes, despite your squirming.

“Bucky, please, I have to go. I’m gonna be late.”

“I don’t care. I was 4 days late coming home, you can be a day late to work,” he said.

You laughed a little, trapped in his embrace. It was a nice place to be, but not when you had a meeting starting in 30 minutes. “Bucky, I want nothing more than to stay with you, but it doesn’t work that way.”

“Doesn’t it?” he asked, pulling back to look at you while still holding you tightly. “Call in, tell them you have a personal emergency.”

“And what would that emergency be?”

“You have to take care of your sick boyfriend,” he said innocently.

You bit back a smile and a laugh. “And what’s the diagnosis?”

His eyes darted away for a second before he shook his head slightly. “Irrelevant. All I know is that you’re the cure. There’s no way to tell how sick I’ll get if you leave.”

“Ah, I see,” you said, playing along with it. He was giving you his puppy eyes. The ones you never used to be able to say no to. Damn those eyes - they could kill or get you to fold to anything. You had gotten better at standing your ground though, saying “Well, I am all yours tonight, but right now, I need to go to work,” as you finally wrestled out of his embrace.

You were used to puppy eyes, but that didn’t mean you were used to his kicked-puppy eyes. 

You sighed. 106 year old ex-assassin in full tactical gear, covered in mud and a few scrapes looked like he was about to cry because you wouldn’t call in sick to give him cuddles. It was cute, and you felt bad. But at some point you had to stand your ground.

“Please?” he asked, borderline whining but he didn’t care. All he cared about was keeping you from walking out of the door.

“Bucky I -”

“Fine,” he said, dropping the puppy eyes and walking towards you. You looked at him confused. “Bucky what are you -” you yelped in surprise as he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. “You’ve been kidnapped. Your boss can’t blame you for missing work due to being kidnapped.” 

He brought you into your shared bedroom and sat down, positioning you so you were on his lap, his arms not allowing you to move. You down at him, sighing. “You’re not going to let me go are you?”

He shook his head giving you a slight smirk. “Not a chance doll.”

You looked at him for a few seconds and shook your head smiling a little, biting your lip slightly. He leaned forward and captured your lips in a kiss, you wrapping your arms around your neck.

“I missed you,” you breathed out.

“You have no idea,” he responded before kissing you again.

You pulled back much too soon for Bucky’s liking, and stood, saying “Let me call my boss really quick, okay?”

“Nope,” he responded, pulling you back on his lap. “You’ll call her later and apologize for the delay, and that your boyfriend was violently ill and you called at the first moment you could. But right now, we are going to go shower.”

“You can shower alone, and I’ll go call her”

“No,” he pouted.

“You are an adult Bucky,” you said, laughing slightly at his ridiculousness.

“Exactly, I’m too old to be showering alone.”

“Oh my god,” you said, breaking out in giggles. “Bucky, it’s going to take me 10 seconds. I’ll be in by the time the water’s warmed up and then we can shower together, okay?”

He studied you for a moment. Then he stood up, carrying you bridal style with him back out to the main room where you had left your phone. “Call her,” he said, still holding you.

You bit back a smile at how clingy he was being. You grabbed your phone and dialed your boss’ number holding your breath as it rang. 

“Hello?”

“Hi Valerie. I’m sorry for the late notice but my boyfriend is really sick and I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it into work today.”

There was a moment of silence before your boss responded with “He got back this morning didn’t he?”

You closed your eyes for a moment, looking down. You had been worried at work yesterday because he hadn’t gotten back yet. She must have overheard “Yes.”

She sighed but on the other end she was also smiling a little. “Alright. Just be here tomorrow.”

You let out a small breath of relief. “Thank you.”

“Yep. Tell him I hope his separation anxiety improves,” she said, hanging up the phone. You tried your best not to burst out laughing. When Bucky looked at you questioningly, you shook your head. “Work joke,” you said, still trying to hide your smile. 

Bucky nodded, walking back towards the bedroom and into the attached bathroom. He set you down on the counter before turning on the water. He walked back over to you and stood between your legs, wrapping his arms behind your back. You wrapped your arms around his neck in return, and the two of you rested your foreheads against each other. 

It was a nice quiet moment of peace, before you felt the warmth of Bucky’s hands leave their spot on your back, and travel lower to your -

“Bucky,” you laughed a little, “Did you miss me, or my ass?”

“Yes,” he answered quickly. 

You laughed some more and Bucky loved it. God he missed that sound. He laughed a little with you.

“Really, I missed everything about you,” he said, pulling back to look at you. “I love your voice, your laugh, your ass,” he kissed you before adding “the amazing neck massage you’re about to give me.”

You looked up at him. “Oh really, yeah? That’s how this is gonna be?”

Bucky looked down at you innocently. “Mhm”

“I hate giving you massages”

“You love it”

“It hurts my thumbs”

“It helps my neck”

“Your muscles are too hard”

“Your hands are too soft.”

You looked up at him and smiled, laughing a little as you asked “You really want a massage?”

“Yes I very much would like one.” He said nodding enthusiastically and smiling. 

“Ok, fine.” you said, still laughing. “The hot water will help. But we should probably take our clothes off first.”

He stepped back and gave you a smirk. “Don’t have to tell me twice.”

[bbyheedeungie]

Fluttering Machinery | Robot! Sunghoon AU

Genre: Fluff, mild angst

Pairings: Robot! Sunghoon x Reader

Warnings: Character death, little suggestive content

Synopsis: Sunghoon was a humanoid built by your father, with the sole purpose of taking care of you once he passes away. But it seems like taking care of you came with discovering emotions that wasn't necessary for cooking, cleaning, and keeping you safe. What is this warm fuzzy feeling that resonates deep inside Sunghoon's mechanism?

It's been months. 6 dreadful months since your father has passed away. The doctors have warned you that he didn't have much time left, but that didn't make the goodbyes hurt any less.

You were 4 years old when your mom left you and your father for another guy. A more successful guy. Your father was bright, with an insatiable hunger for discovery and invention. But his field of work didn't always bring food to the table. And so on most days you had to, well, compromise.

But you loved your father so much, and still do. Although you didn't grow up to be a scientist like him, you knew the basics on automation and robotics. You were 11 years old when you first saw it, the humanoid that he worked on for years came to life before your own very eyes.

He had no skin nor face that made him look human yet. Just a chunk of metal with a head, arms and legs that moved mechanically. Nevertheless, you will never forget the joy and pride in your fathers' face as he watched his creation. The humanoid was a work in progress and you knew one day he's going to change the world. Unbeknownst to you, he was going to change your world.

And now here you are, years into the present as you stood infront of the humanoid who had his eyes shut. Yep, he's a he now. He is Humanoid SH-1282. Your father made him for the purpose of serving the community, to help people. But when he discovered his illness, he started making alterations to his design. He made SH-1282 to serve as the perfect companion, but only to you.

He filled the humanoid's hard drive with everything that he'll need to help you and take care of you. He input cooking, cleaning, and even martial arts. You sighed, remembering your father's last words.

"I'm gonna leave him in your care now, err leave you in his care or whatever. Take good care of each other okay? I love you both so much."

You were such a crybaby, holding on to your father's arm as the nurses were ushering you to wait outside because the doctors are about to perform surgery.

"You'll be okay." Your father mouthed as he smiled knowingly in content.

You reach for the humanoid's neck to find the power button, finally deciding to activate him after holding it off for months.

You held your breath as his eyes open, immediately scanning his surroundings. His eyes land on you, a smile forms on his lips.

"Hi, I'm SH-1282. It's nice to finally meet you, Y/N." He said naturally, offering his hand. If you didn't know any better, you would think he was a normal boy.

You let out a shaky breath as you accept his hand. He frowns, it seems like he is studying your facial expression and posture.

"You seem like you are in distress. Are you alright?" He asks in concern.

"Yeah, I am." You reply weakly.

"Will a hug improve your mood?" He asks. He was programmed to know about the benefits of physical intimacy, but he was also programmed to know consent and so he will not do anything unless you want to.

You contemplated, biting your lip.

"No, thank you." He simply nods, stepping out of his charging port.

"Will you show me around the house?" He asks and you nod.

"Damn this feels so awkward." You think to yourself.

"So here's the living room." You say as SH-1282 takes a good look around the area, his eyes falling to the dirty coffee table with tons of papers stacked messily. The couch looked greasy, with breadcrumbs stuck to the sides of the couch cushions. He scrunches his nose, involuntarily adding a new emotion to his database: disgust.

And as you led him to the kitchen, this emotion intensifies as he sees the containers of Chinese takeouts and cup ramen littered around the counter. He walks to the fridge and finds it empty except for a carton of milk that you put into your cereal for breakfast.

This awakens another emotion for the humanoid, frustration. He pinches the bridge of his nose as he contemplates on what to do with the mess, aka you.

"This won't do. You have been living unhealthily which may reduce your chances of living a long life."

You scoff, "Excuse me?" He gives you a dead stare, an eyebrow raised.

"No, excuse me while I clean up all this. I'll leave you to your own devices, thank you for showing me around today." He says sassily as he goes to find where you hide your cleaning utensils. You stood there dumbfounded.

"Unbelievable." But you let him be anyway. He wasn't wrong, you've been a total mess this past few months but that was all because of the grief. You basically had no family now.

And so for the rest of the day, you lock yourself in your room and do homework. About 5pm, you hear a soft knock at your door.

"Hello, it's me. Can you spare me a minute? I have something to ask of you." You inwardly groan, not really wanting to face the humanoid.

"Can you accompany me to get groceries? I swear this will only happen one time. It is only because I am not yet accustomed to my location. But after I mentally note the directions, you won't have to come with me next time." He didn't really want to bother you, but he knew that going out by himself and getting lost will be much more bothersome for you.

"Sure thing, just let me change into— oh no, you have no other clothes. It's kinda chilly outside today." You mentally facepalm yourself. Why didn't I go shopping for men clothes first before activating him?

"That is fine, I am immune to any temperature." He says as-a-matter-of-fact. You roll your eyes.

"I know that but people will probably get suspicious to see a man walking around in a shirt and jeans when everybody else has coats on. We need you to fit in as much as possible."

You search for your father's old coat that you refused to throw away even months after he's passed.

"Sorry dad, but he kinda needs this right now." And so you dress the humanoid in your oversized university sweatshirt (which surprisingly fits him perfectly) and your father's old coat.

"How do I look? Will I fit in now?" He asks as he scans his appearance in the mirror.

"You look—" absolutely breathtaking. You had every urge to slap yourself. Your father really didn't play around when he made the humanoid's face. He could pass up as an idol. And the cute little mole on his nose was a good addition to his features that made him even more realistic.

"Great. People won't suspect a thing."

The two of you head out. Contrary to your expectations that he would marvel at everything he sees outside, he just casually looks around. You ride the bus together, and the humanoid processes everything that you do, noting how everything works.

What caught you by surprise though, is how he immediately stands up in instinct to let an old lady sit down in his place. He sure was programmed with manners and chivalry. You smiled at the thought.

You made your way inside the grocery store, only intended to grab a basket but the humanoid insisted on a push cart.

"We have so much to buy, I've taken a mental note of everything we'll need." You simply roll your eyes and let him push the cart around as you wandered behind him. You look around as he reads the nutritional facts of every single thing he sees.

"This is definitely going to take a while." You muttered.

"Y/N? Is that you?" A voice squealed. You hissed and attempted to turn away, pretending you didn't see her. The humanoid saw how you reacted and swiftly rushed to your side in a protective stance. The stranger eyes the humanoid, her eyes sparkling at the sight of such a gorgeous man.

"Why hello there. Y/N you didn't tell me you've been busy with your boyfriend, we haven't hung out in a while." Both of your eyes widened at the misunderstanding.

"Oh, no he's not— we aren't—" You tried to explain but she just laughed out loud.

"Look how flustered you are. You know what, it's okay. But we have a lot of catching up to do!" She said, squishing your cheeks in a playful manner.

"So what's your name, handsome stranger?" She asks, turning to the confused humanoid.

"I'm S—"

"Sunghoon! His name is Sunghoon." You blurted out. Sunghoon was the name of your childhood crush when you were like 7 but that'll have to do. Unfortunately, it seems that the humanoid got even more confused.

"I am Y/N's—"

"Neighbor. He lives next door to my apartment. I was just showing him around because he just recently moved into the city." You say quickly. She can't know that you're living with a guy. Even if said guy wasn't human.

"Awww how sweet of you to go shopping with your neighbor." She said, winking at you. She's definitely not convinced.

"I'm Yeonmi, Y/N's friend." She introduced, offering her hand to Sunghoon. He took her hand reluctantly.

"You mean my super obnoxious friend." You roll your eyes.

"Shut up, you love me." She teased. Admittedly, you've been avoiding her for months now. Ever since your father passed, it was as if you didn't want to deal with anyone anymore, with the fear of being left behind again. So you shut everyone out. You know it was a very selfish move and must've made everyone worry, but you have yet to figure out how to fix things back to how it is.

You said your goodbyes not without a long, tight hug from Yeonmi and Sunghoon noticed from his scanners how your vitals greatly improved from it. This made him feel another new emotion: relief. He was very thankful for your friend who made you feel better.

You continue venturing down the aisle of food, and you find the humanoid smiling to himself. He notices your attention on him and he shakes his head, as if shrugging his thoughts off.

"What?" You asked.

"You gave me a name. Although I'm unsure if it is necessary, thank you." He says genuinely as he smiles at you, your heart skipping a beat.

"You're welcome, Sunghoon." You smiled back.

He picked up lots of fruits and vegetables, with you whining the whole time. Your whines unlocked another emotion of his; annoyance.

"No wonder her father thought she is in need of taking care of, she acts like a child." He concludes, running his fingers through his hair as he lets you get an ice cream of your choice. Oddly, seeing a bright smile on your face as you show him what flavor you got seems to put him at ease.

The two of you got home at dawn, with quickly stacking up the groceries into the cabinets and fridge, with you slumping down on the now squeaky clean couch.

It had been quite a long day and you found yourself dozing off. You woke up from the light tap on your shoulder, eyes fixating on Sunghoon with your apron wrapped around his torso.

"I could get used to this." You thought, admiring how adorable the humanoid looked but quickly pushing the thoughts away.

"Sorry to wake you, it's time for dinner." He announces and you lazily nodded, not before yawning and stretching your arms.

"Uhh, what is this?" You asked, eyeing your plate.

"It's your dinner." He says nonchalantly, expecting you to start eating. Your face shows utter disgust at the plate of vegetables.

"Please don't make me eat that." You begged. Sunghoon rolls his eyes; a trait he adapted from spending just a day with you.

"Don't be dramatic, vegetables are good for you." He states, taking the plate from you and attempting to feed you.

"Come on, say ah." He says playfully. After realizing how much you acted like a child, he researched on how to take care of children and downloaded it into his database. You scrunch your nose, leaning away from the food and shooting him a glare.

"Sunghoon, I'm not a kid." You deadpanned.

"Oh, but you won't get your ice cream if you don't eat this." He says, pouting at you teasingly. He's really good at this. With a sigh, you open wide and allow him to feed you.

"Yep, definitely a kid." He thinks to himself as he smiles in satisfaction, another emotion unlocked.

That night, you decided to move his charging port (with his help) from the lab into the spare room of the apartment.

"You know, I'm completely okay with staying at the lab." He reasoned but you quickly hush him.

"Nope. That is no way to treat a person. You deserve your own room, okay? A room that you can fill with your own stuff and decorate with your own preferences. End of discussion." You sassed as you fix his charging port into place. Sunghoon blinked at you, unable to express how grateful he is of how kind you are to him.

"She wants to treat me like a real human being." He thinks, his mechanical heart overwhelmed with gratitude.

Days went on with a routine, with him cleaning all day and you attending online classes. There were occasional bumps in the road, with you getting annoyed with how much of a neat freak he is and him getting irritated with how lazy you are at taking care of yourself. You've also taught him how to watch tv, deciding not to let him use the internet yet because he might gain too much unnecessary information online.

And so on a saturday night, you sat together on the couch as you watched figure skating competitions. Sunghoon was at complete awe the whole time, studying how the skaters moved through the ice.

"I want to skate too." He states absentmindedly, attention still on the television. You smiled, thinking how it was the first time he actually said he wanted something.

"Then let's do it, let's go skating tomorrow." You say, his head immediately shot to you.

"What, really?" Sunghoon asks in disbelief, his eyes widening.

"Yes, really. Although I'm warning you, I don't know how to skate." You laughed, with him chuckling as well.

"Then we'll learn together." He promises.

What a total lie that is. He didn't need to learn, as you watched him move swiftly against the ice, the wind in his hair as he circled around, his focused eyes twinkling in the fairy lights. He looked ethereal. You could have sworn there were tears there as you cheered him on like a proud momma. Ah, they grew up so fast.

People at the park also stopped to watch Sunghoon, whispering about how talented the young man is. His eyes caught yours, and you weren't sure if you were seeing things but you thought you saw him send you a wink and smile.

"The TV been teaching him things." You muttered, blushing but not from the cold. Sunghoon skates towards you, pulling you with him. You're eyes widened in fear.

"N-no Sunghoon I can't—" but he was already leading you through the ice, eyes never leaving yours.

"You can." He whispers, taking you by the waist as he spun you around. You giddily laughed as you threw your arms out, savouring the chilly air. You didn't even notice the people watching and cooing at you as some joined in as well.

That night, Sunghoon felt something he never felt before, and you in a long time. You felt happy.

"Say aaaah~" Sunghoon said as he fed you chicken soup. You caught a cold from skating yesterday and now you're wrapped in a super cozy blanket with Sunghoon worrying about you.

"You know I can feed myself right?" You said, swallowing the food.

"I know, but I just feel responsible because I was the one who wanted to skate. You got sick because of me, and that kinda defeats my purpose because I'm supposed to be keeping you healthy." He rambled. You roll your eyes at him.

"Colds are normal, okay? Besides, I haven't had that much fun in a while. Thank you for that, Sunghoon." You say, reaching up to tussle his hair playfully. He froze, cogs in his mind unable to process as something inside him stirred, but in a pleasant way.

--

"So you dance while rubbing your body on a stranger?" Sunghoon questions, but he's not sure if he wants to know the answer. Tonight, you wore a simple black dress that teasingly showed a little bit of cleavage and a decent length of fabric that hugged tightly around your upper thighs but had a daringly high slit. Sunghoon approves and disapproves at the same time.

"Yeah, it's kinda like that. But don't worry, I won't be doing that. I'll just stay by the bar the whole time." You reassured as you struggled to put on your strappy heels. Sunghoon kneels down infront of you and helps you clasp the straps around your ankles, handling it very delicately. Your heart thumps as he looks up at you.

"Are you sure you don't want me to accompany you?" He asks for the fifth time as he follows you around the house like a puppy. You sigh, actually considering it. Although it was supposed to be a girl's night according to Yeonmi, you thought maybe having Sunghoon tag along wouldn't do harm.

But it did. It did harm to you, alright. And you wanted to harm those girls who kept on grinding their asses onto Sunghoon as slow, sexy music played. You were fuming, regretting dressing Sunghoon in such fashion that screamed big D energy. Why am I being so possessive? But then again, Sunghoon does look uncomfortable. I should go save him. Yeah, I'll do that.

"Hold my drink." You tell Yeonmi as you made your way to Sunghoon.

"You go girl! Get your man!" Yeonmi cheered drunkly.

Your train of thoughts were blurred by the alcohol as you struggled to walk straight. You had only one clear thought in mind: Sunghoon. I need to get to Sunghoon.

Sunghoon stood uncomfortably, eyeing the girls who rubbed their bossoms and derriere all over him. Is this supposed to be fun? He thinks innocently. He sees you walking towards him, swaying your hips side by side as you strode towards him like a predator.

Girls hovering around him going unnoticed as you were the only one he could see.

Stunning, beautiful. He thought.

"Hey handsome, care to dance?" You asked, pulling him to you before he could even answer. The girls spat at you, telling you to 'get in line' but you just shot them a smug look.

"Sorry ladies." Sunghoon apologized, but his smile told otherwise as he let you pull him away from them.

"You don't know how badly I wanted to get away from—" He froze in his spot as you wrap your arms around his neck, inching closer than ever before. You felt bold, but maybe that was just the alcohol in your system. And as you started moving your body against Sunghoon, you knew it wasn't just you who felt the heat. His large palms go down south, resting on your swaying hips as both of you moved to the sultry rhythm.

His mechanism was going nuts, threatening to malfunction as his sensors detected your very close proximity to him. Whatever you were playing, it was dangerous. But Sunghoon couldn't help but to want more, to desire more.

"Y/N." He whispers, and you look up at him with half lidded eyes. And damn did he find you so sexy right there, under the strobe lights. No girl in the club could ever compare.

"Home?" You suggested.

"Home." He agrees.

As you got in the cab, you immediately find yourself half straddling Sunghoon's lap as you attempt to kiss him. Luckily, Sunghoon can think clearer now and concludes that a drunk Y/N is a very horny Y/N. And though the thought that it was only the alcohol that made you want him made him feel sad, he knew it was wrong to demand such things from you.

And so with your futile attempts to get into his pants, he gently lays your head on his shoulder and hugs you to keep you still. But even that couldn't stop you from squirming to get away from his hold, trying to get some action. He chuckles as he held your hand tightly in his to prevent it from landing into his crotch.

"Now now, you have to stay put. I won't be taking advantage of your state." He scolds gently. And by the time the cab had stopped in front of the building of your apartment, you were fast asleep in Sunghoon's arms.

Times like these were when Sunghoon is glad he was made of aluminum. He scooped you up in his arms like a pillow as he walked up to your apartment. You snuggled up into his chest, looking so innocent as you soaked up his warmth. Sunghoon cooed about how adorable you are, talking to you in your sleep.

He placed you delicately on your bed, contemplating whether to change your clothes or not. He decided not to, noting how your privacy is important to you. You're too drunk and asleep to give him permission right now anyway. He took off your heels and wiped your makeup off very gently, and tucked you in properly.

Long minutes pass as he studies your face, stroking your hair softly as the corners of his mouth lift up unconsciously. He really loves taking care of you. He loves you.

This realization hits him like a truck of overwhelming emotions, but it all makes sense to him now.

"I love you, Y/N." He whispers, leaving a soft kiss on your forehead before retiring to his own room.

[heyyyharry]

Happier

(inspired by happier by Olivia Rodrigo)

Word count: 2.4k

I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

Part 1: Drivers License

Part 2: Deja Vu

A/N: I edited the original lyrics to match the POV :)

.

.

.

Harry had come up with a thousand scenarios of how this day would play out. Actually, he’d been thinking of this day since the moment he’d received the news. He didn’t dare to hope that she’d say yes to coming back for a sequel. He’d been sure that they would write her character off, give a lame excuse for how his love interest could not make a return and make his character forget about her completely to move on with a new girl in town. It would have been great if it was that easy in real life. Once someone was written off the script, they were gone for good. Real-life relationships were not that simple. Goodbye didn’t mean ‘never see you again’. You would still share the same friend circle and social bubbles, and it was worse when you two worked in the same industry. Harry didn’t know how he’d lasted a year without running into her, not since the Grammys.

“Didn’t you two date?”

“No.” Harry shook his head, but his eyes stayed glued on Y/N from across the room. She wasn’t looking his way, too busy saying hello to everyone else. “No,” he repeated, more to himself than to his co-star. “We didn’t.”

“But she wrote an entire album about you,” said the other twin. What was her name again? Lulu?

“Luna!” cried her sister, Lex. “You can’t ask him that!”

“No, it’s okay,” Harry said with a tight smile, slightly annoyed by the blonde twins, but he didn’t want to seem like an ass on the first day of filming. “And I don’t know if it was for me. You should ask Y/N.”

“Ask me what?”

Harry flinched when he looked up and saw Y/N padding towards them. She hugged the twins, who seemed way too excited. Harry guessed they were Y/N’s fans. They gave off crazy fangirl vibes, probably just pretending not to know the drama to interrogate him. He couldn’t blame them for assuming he was the villain and definitely could not blame Y/N for portraying him as one. It was more important that he knew who he was and how much he had changed since his last relationship. Maybe they could finally be friends.

“Were they bothering you?” Y/N asked him once the twins had left.

Harry nodded. “They’re your friends?”

“Oh, I met them last year on tour. I’m surprised you don’t know them. They were on Disney.”

“I don’t watch Disney,” Harry admitted with a smile. “Well, not today’s Disney.”

“Understandable.” Y/N nodded and bit her lip. She seemed guarded with her straight back and hands hidden behind her. She eyed him up and down, quite subtle yet noticeable. “How have you been?”

“Pretty good,” he said, nodding slowly. “You?”

“Yeah, but mostly tired because of tour.”

“You’re done?”

“Yup, last night was the last show.”

“Nice.”

Y/N raised an eyebrow. “Nice?”

Harry blinked. “Did I say something wrong?”

“No.” Y/N giggled. “You still sound very...you.”

“Well, shouldn’t I?”

“Yeah, you should. But it’s been a year so…I mean, you haven’t changed much.”

“Right,” he said lowly, his eyes falling to his feet. Harry supposed he should say something else, perhaps bringing up another random topic to discuss, but all he could think about was what had happened between them. Things had been messy, hadn’t they? How could they go back to before that? Before her first song about him. Before he’d chosen someone else over her.

Or he could talk about her new relationship. She’d been in a happy relationship for almost six months, right? No wait, hadn’t they broke up two weeks ago? He wasn’t sure because he hadn’t been catching up. If they’d broken up, he’d sound like an ass to even mention her ex’s name. He should just stay quiet.

“I’ll see you later?” she said, gesturing at her stylist who was waiting by the door.

Harry could ask her right now -- the reason she’d agreed to film the sequel to their first movie together. He’d heard from a very reliable source that she’d specifically asked her agent to decline any project that he was in. So did this mean they were good? That she didn’t hate him anymore? He could have gathered his courage and got the answer right then…

“Yeah, see you.”

...but he didn’t.

And so she gave him a smile and a little wave, then happily returned to her stylist.

.

.

.

“See you tomorrow, Y/N!”

“See you, Annie!” Y/N said as she put the rest of her things into her tote bag. Her new driver had got her schedule mixed up, and so she had to wait here for another half an hour. She was in no rush. It had been a light first day, and she’d had a fun time getting to know the new cast members and catching up with old friends.

She sat on the sofa in the lobby, legs crossed, texting her best friend about her day. She’d purposely left out the short off-screen conversation with Harry, and her best friend didn’t even bother to ask. In their world, he didn’t exist, and his name was censored in every conversation like a curse word that was even worse than ‘cunt’. Nevertheless, she didn’t hate him anymore. She was doing just fine on her own, being busy with her career, and she’d been in a happy relationship after her fall out with him.

She and the guy, a model, had broken up two weeks ago due to long distance and some differences that they could not change. They had ended on good terms and decided to stay friends. They said you could only stay friends with your ex when you still had feelings for each other, or you had never loved each other that much in the first place. For her, it was probably the latter. Her previous relationship had been more platonic than romantic, apparently. So she had nothing but the best to say about him.

As she was going through her camera roll, just reminiscing about the past, she heard footsteps approaching and looked up to find Harry. He offered a smile and gestured to the spot beside her on the sofa. “May I sit here? My ride is late.”

“Yeah, sure.” She hurriedly scooted over.

“Good job today,” he said. “You were great.”

“Thanks, so were you.” She smiled, and they both looked away at the same time. This was so awkward. She hated small talk. She’d never had to have small talk with Harry. Conversations with him used to be so easy and natural and silly. Whatever this was, it wasn’t them.

“Can we just be normal?”

At first, Y/N thought she’d been the one who’d said it, so when she realised it’d been Harry, she was speechless.

He swallowed and sat a bit straighter, still not looking at her. “I don’t want us to be weird and awkward.”

“Okay,” she said.

He cleared his throat. “Wanna try again?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“Okay, not to sound like an ass but when Joey kept forgetting his lines, I was so pissed off, I could throw a chair at the wall.”

“Right?!” exclaimed Y/N, feeling free to have finally broken out of her shell. “Like, he doesn’t even have many lines. I know he’s new but damn...you can’t get far if you don’t learn your goddamn lines.”

Harry shook with laughter. “Oh God, we sound like dicks, don’t we?”

“Maybe.” Y/N laughed, covering her mouth. “But you know what? We can’t be nice in this industry. It’s impossible.”

“Shhh, if someone heard this, we would be into big trouble.”

“Oh please, I’ve had worse articles written about me than ‘Y/N speaks facts about her lazy co-star’.”

Harry tossed his head back and cackled. “The worst one I’ve got this week was ‘Harry Styles hates therapists.’”

“What?!” Y/N gasped. “No way! That’s so stupid!”

“Right?” Harry rolled his eyes. “I could get all my therapists to speak up for me but I’m kinda immune to bullshit now.”

“Therapists? Like plural?”

“Yeah, one in every city.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah.”

Y/N rubbed her hands onto her legs. “Rough year?”

Harry’s eyes rolled to the back of his head as he leaned back. “You have no idea.” Then he swept his hair out of his eyes, sucked in a breath, and finally looked at her. “I wish I could have talked to you, though.”

She bit her tongue, knowing what she was about to say next would disappoint her best friend so much, but she had to. “So do I.”

Harry looked taken aback before his lips curled into a smile. “It’s silly, isn’t it? I haven’t talked to you in a year, and I feel like I know everything that’s happened to you except that I don’t.”

What he’d just said might make no sense for most people, but Y/N knew exactly what he meant. She nodded and wetted her lip. “You only know as much as everyone else does.”

“Yeah, I got updates on you from the news and our friends.”

“Same.” Y/N smiled back. “I hate how they write articles about your new haircut but not mine.”

“I like your new hair colour.”

“Thanks. I like your new car.”

Then they both burst out laughing. It was fun and also a little bit strange that Y/N didn’t feel the same anxiety talking to him as she used to. It must be because they had grown and were now meeting again as better people.

“Damn, my ride's here,” Y/N said as she read the text from her driver. “I gotta go now.”

“Oh, okay.” Harry stood up and followed Y/N to the entrance. “Hey, just wondering--”

“Yeah?”

“Am I...am I still blocked?” He looked a bit flustered as she tilted her head and squinted her eyes. “On your phone. Because I remember you having my number blocked--”

“I unblocked you on your birthday.”

“Oh, really?”

“Yeah.” Y/N shrugged. “I should’ve sent you a happy birthday text but...I didn’t want your girlfriend to get the wrong ideas.”

“My ex.”

“Yeah, I know.”

They smiled at each other one last time before saying goodbye. Y/N knew it was silly, but she was hoping he would go after her.

Ding.

A notification popped up when she was in the car. She was almost home, and it was from Harry’s number. He’d sent her a link with a message that said, “Hope you like it :)”.

Curious, she tapped on it and was directed to an audio file titled ‘Track 5’. The upload date was last year. About two weeks after their short conversation at the Grammys.

Hurriedly, she fumbled inside her bag for her iPods and put it on before she pressed play.

“Hey, Jeff, I couldn’t sleep so I wrote this song. Listen and let me know if it should go on the album.”

Then came the piano intro. It sounded good, so Y/N wondered how it hadn’t ended up on his last album.

But when he started to sing...

We ended a while ago Your friends are mine, you know, I know You've moved on, found someone new One more guy who brings out the better in you

And I thought my heart was detached From all the sunlight of our past But he’s so nice, he’s so funny Does he mean you forgot about me?

Oh, I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

And does he tell you you’re the most beautiful girl he’s ever seen? An eternal love bullshit he might not even mean Remember when you were with me I meant it when you heard it first from me

And now I'm pickin' him apart Like cuttin' him down will make you miss my wretched heart But he’s charming, he looks kind He probably gives you butterflies

I hope you're happy But not like how you were with me I'm selfish, I know, I can't let you go So find someone great, but don't find no one better

I hope you're happy I wish you all the best, really Say you love him, baby Just not like you loved me And think of me fondly when your hands are on him I hope you're happy, but don't be happier

The song was for her. He’d written it when her new relationship had gone public. Y/N sat there, staring blankly ahead until the honking of a car tore open her inner peace, and reality came crashing back in. The driver dropped her off at her house. Instead of going inside, she stood on her front steps and replayed the song one more time. When it ended, she decided to text him: Why didn’t this make it to the album?

She didn’t know where he was now, but it showed ‘typing’ in less than a second, as if he’d been waiting in their chat since he’d sent that link.

You would’ve hated me, Y/N.

True, she replied. Still, I would’ve loved the song lowkey. And added, I love it btw.

He took so long to type that it was driving her crazy. She flopped down on the concrete stair with her phone clutched in her hands, her heart thundering against her ribcage. Anxiety popped like a balloon when his message appeared: Were you happier?

She reread it again and again.

No.

I wasn’t either, he responded. I kept getting deja vu.

Ha, nice reference.

That song is my guilty pleasure. Love listening to you roasting me on loop.

That last message made Y/N bury her face into her palm and giggle like a fool. She thought for a second and wrote: I could come roast you in person now if that’s what you prefer. I think we’ve never had a proper roasting.

Can we meet, Y/N? Or are you busy now?

No, not busy.

Great, I’ll pick you up.

Just tell me where, she responded with a smile on her face. I got my drivers license now :)