#oh wait also- i am not immune to the Leg Thing

[phoenix-art-official]

toss your dirty shoes in my washing machine heart, baby, bang it up inside

[katuschka]

His Sugar-Dusted Skin – Part 1

Jake Kiszka x reader 5.639 words (Part 1)

So, After some consideration, I decided to split this one in two, because a) I promised to post it this weekend and it's not finished yet, and b) it might me too long. December's been a bit chaotic and as I said before, I've been struggling a bit with this one. So let me know what you think. Any feedback is much appreciated!

Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction, intended for adult readers. Any resemblance to real persons is purely coincidental. Also, if you're under 18, go find some other entertainment elsewhere.

Warnings (are spoilers): alcohol consumption and heavy intoxication, mentions of the death of a close person (retrospective), allusions to a potentially promiscuous behaviour, some strong language, the twins being assholes (kind of... they're still cute), Jake's happy trail, I think that's it for now...

Oh, life…

How ordinary and boring it can get when you stick to thinking that there aren’t any other options. As far as I remember, conformity never made sense to me. And as far as I remember, I was being raised and forced to embrace it. My mind surrendered for a while, but my vagrant soul just kept resisting. I never wanted to fit in. I always wanted to fly.

When I left home three years ago, I didn’t take much with me. My parents didn’t approve of my choices and the only person who would’ve supported me in my decisions was already gone. My beloved grandma. She was the disruptive force that kept me on my toes, always challenging me in the most loving way, knowing too well that it was exactly what I needed. She gave me my first guitar, too. Even though sclerosis made her homeward-bound, her dreams and fantasies always kept her wandering. I loved that. She was always there to spark my imagination and in return, I wanted to be her legs and eyes one day. When I was little, my friends used to call her fairy godmother. “Keep your sails up sweetheart, the wind is whimsical.” That’s what she used to say. “All you need is that air in your lungs and love in your heart.” 

“You must never leave me, oma,” I said to her once. “I need that love in my heart forever.”

“Someone else will fill it, darling,” she replied. “I’m only here to make sure it is open. But one day, you won’t need me anymore.”

When she died, I lost my only reason to stay there. The world was slowly getting to its feet again and it was my turn to do the same. I had dreams that simply couldn’t be fulfilled at home. My heart was aching for adventure. So I packed my bags, just like they sing in old songs, slung my guitar over my shoulder and hit the road. A vagabond chick. 

As I came to Tennessee, all I owned could fit in my barely drivable car: literally just a few dresses, my phone, my modest savings, my old six string, my treasured voice and THE recipe. Aaaah, those were the days…

Who am I kidding? It was pretty rough at first. VERY rough, to be honest. I cried many nights. But the one thing my parents had taught me was to save money, and that helped me survive the first months, when I waited tables during the day and sang my ass off after dark. 

Many people never make it. Hell, even though I’m an optimist, I have to admit that most don’t. If you’re not strong willed and immune to shit, you’re most certainly destined to fail. I’ve seen way too many extra talented and broken people on my journey, just because they were too nice or too naive. Well, I’m not naive, but I’m definitely not a cold bitch either. I think I just got lucky, because I had my guardian angel with me the whole time. When she was still walking on earth, she absolutely loved the Beatles, With a Little Help from My Friends being her favorite song. My childhood memories are filled with those songs and how she sang along, and I believe that it was her doing that eventually turned this tune into the soundtrack of my life. I met a lot of fantastic people on my arduous journey towards my goals and dreams, and that’s how I got by. 

As a token of my gratitude, I baked cookies for them. My grandma’s famous linzer cookies. THE recipe. Fast forward a few years, I still keep doing that at Christmas. Apart from the fact that my friends simply demand it, it’s also my way of keeping her alive, to make myself feel like she’s still here with me… in a way. 

Back home, the whole neighborhood loved her art of baking. Me being her only granddaughter, she literally forced me to learn how to bake those linzer cookies – her own recipe, to be precise. Every time I rolled my eyes, while making annoyed noises, blowing raspberries and just being a little asshole about it in general, she simply smiled and said that one day I’ll thank her. Why – I asked – and she responded that one day it would bring me love. “Love goes through the stomach, my dear. Look at your grandpa. See how huge it is?” And then he smiled and kissed her hair and it always made me believe her.

Except it didn’t happen. At least not yet. It – however – gave me a semblance of home that I consciously chose not to have, but sometimes missed. 

Just last year, I decided to continue with the tradition my grandma  started back at home. “Love is a reciprocal game, my dear,” she said. “You get what you give, but do not lose yourself in giving.” 

They want my sweets? Fine! But let them show me how much. They have to “earn” it. At the beginning of December, I give my friends custom-made Christmas greetings, and if they want to receive their own little box of cookies, they have to send back a card of their own making. The first time was a success, and I ended up baking sweets for eleven people. And it didn’t stop there, as it earned me nine bottles of wine, a flacon of my favorite perfume and  a ukulele. All I really wanted was a thank you, but hey! I won’t say no to wine! So I decided to do it again, and this time I received seventeen cards, including three “masterpieces” from the members of the infamous Greta Van Fleet! Yeah, that’s right. While I still feel like I’m barely making it sometimes, I move in high-ish circles. El-oh-el. 

I met Daniel first, through a mutual friend, at one of the music clubs we frequented. He was actually one of the eleven buddies that helped me restart this Christmas tradition. Later I learned that he selflessly shared his portion with the rest of the group during a rehearsal he went to right after he dropped by at my place, and that’s how I got invited to one of their semi-private dinners. Dan kindly introduced me as “Joni”, which earned me two “woos” and one ironic smirk. To be fair, I didn’t like it either. It actually made me cringe, because the woman is an unattainable role model, but it was just Daniel being himself, aka the nice guy. Bless his soul. 

I went from an acquaintance with useful skills to a drinking buddy, because I’m good at that too. One of my less admirable strengths, but there are times when it comes in handy. Especially when a Johnny Depp wannabe from Middle-earth wants to outsmart you…

A year flew by and it was time to extend my offer to Sam and Josh, who made sure I wouldn’t forget them. Don’t ask me how. The video they sent me definitely had the potential to go viral. I wholeheartedly appreciate how much they trust me not to do that. 

They wouldn’t stop there, though. I had to laugh when I received their own precious hand drawn contributions. How sweet. They’re all so sweet actually… well, all except Jake. Aloof, taciturn and arrogant, that’s how he rolls. I’m pretty sure he just can’t stand me, because while he often laughs with others, he only ever laughs at me. His opinion on my baking goes hand in hand with what he thinks about my playing, preferring darker and more spicy shit, as he once put it. Well, whatever. He’s a colossal prick. 

It’s quite unfortunate that I’ve also had a colossal crush on him for quite some time now. As I said, I’m a vagabond chick, and he happens to possess all the right shit to lure me. Like a moth to a flame. And I got burned. 

See, oma? Not working. 

Well, I’m not the one to cry over guys, so I’m not going to lose my sleep over that. He can go fuck himself. (Someone else can do it. I swear he needs it.). 

Seventeen packages meant I was going to spend most of the Friday evening as well as the whole Saturday slaving in my kitchen. Thankfully, I really do enjoy doing this, so it’s simply an essential part of Christmas festivities. A good time spent with me, myself and Ella Fitzgerald. It’s still quite a lot of work though. 

Friday was just about making dough. It might seem easy, but you need to understand that in order to make enough cookies for 17 (!) people, I needed more than 5 lbs of flour, 3 lbs of butter, nearly 24 ounces of sugar, 23 egg yolks and zest from 6 lemons! I will say no more to protect the family secret, but you can see it takes a lot of effort just to put this all together. I take this very seriously. I don’t want to disappoint anyone. 

It had to be perfect. 

But alas! I couldn’t have known that one malicious and horny sprite who wanted me to spoil him with my art of baking was also going to sabotage my efforts in the most peculiar way. 

Once finished, I covered the dough with plastic wrap and put it in the fridge to let it rest overnight before I hopped in the shower to wash off the sweaty sugar crust that seemed to stick to every inch of my exposed skin. It was almost midnight when I finally managed to climb in bed, pleasantly exhausted and happy, only to be woken up by a frantic doorbell noise at around two am. A normal person would just freak out in such a situation, but knowing who that might be, I was already pretty much used to it as I lived nearest to their favorite bar. Our favorite bar, to be precise. 

Over time, they came to an agreement that my tiny apartment was a perfect place for nightcaps, the only problem being that the Kiszkas were usually quite loud about it, completely ignoring the fact that I had neighbors. Thankfully, this part of town is a bit specific in a sense that the said neighbors simply didn’t give a shit, with their own lifestyle not being much different. 

This is what I wanted. Friends, late night laughs, my life filled with music and hugs and kisses and peculiar outcomes of unpredictable events that could only lead to more hugs and kisses. 

There was this one time when Josh fell asleep on my couch while the others simply sneaked away giggling and left him there, spread-eagled and snoring his uvula off. Several hours later, I was woken up by the delicious smell of buttermilk waffles, served with maple syrup and a guilty, puppy dog stare. 

Simply put, they were (almost) always welcome here. Almost…

Sober, sleepy and disoriented, I was definitely in no mood for a late night party (or an early morning one… seriously Josh, wtf!), with all the baking lying ahead of me. I didn’t even have to guess if it was really them; I could already hear them the moment my heart calmed down a bit and I stepped out of my bedroom. Determined to chase them away with a rolling pin, I answered the door angrily and was nearly knocked down by the falling Oliver Reed who obviously decided to lean against it the very moment I yanked it open. 

It’s always intrigued me how the brain works in these situations, working so fast that the time seems to slow down to an almost comical pace. I watched in slow motion how his back slid against the wood, his arms flapping in the air in a futile attempt to regain balance. I could tell at the first fleeting glance that he wasn’t fit to keep his balance standing, let alone falling, so no wonder it was a completely lost cause. Some voice at the back of my skull tried to tell me to jump aside, but I was too mesmerized by the sight. Just when his shoulder hit me clumsily in the chest and I stumbled backwards, Josh finally managed to grab Jake’s arms to keep him from knocking me down completely. My rolling pin fell on the wooden floor with a loud bang that made my neighbor’s dog bark. Jake, now aggressively pinned against the corridor wall by Josh, only added to the ear-piercing nocturnal cacophony with his loud howls: “Whoa whooooa!” 

“Shhh, shut the fuck up, Jake!” Josh hissed through his teeth before he turned his concerned stare back at me. “Y/N, sweetheart, terribly sorry hun! Didn’t mean too…” I could tell that he was tipsy as well, but it paled in comparison with the state Jake was in. I had seen him drunk many times before, with his glossy, beady eyes and unfocused stare that always made him look a bit like a teddy bear. This was new, though. He seemed absolutely plastered. 

Out of the imminent danger, but with my heart still wildly pumping adrenaline-enriched blood into my veins, I grabbed the doorframe first to support myself before I tried to make sense of what was just happening in front of me. 

They weren’t alone. Right behind Josh stood a guy whom I had seen a few times before, but I couldn’t recall his name. He looked slightly uncomfortable. “What the fuck, Josh!?!” I hissed. 

Josh immediately tried to win me over with the most sheepish smile he could muster, but his involuntarily cocked eyebrow betrayed him, which only made me more furious. “Dearest Y/N, we need your help, baby!” 

“With what? I asked incredulously. 

“I need you to take care of my asshole brother, pretty pleeeease.” 

“You what?” I goggled at him, completely taken aback by his impudent request. “Why can’t you just take him home?” Much to Jake’s annoyance, we kept discussing him and his imminent future as if he wasn’t even there, which only resulted in another outburst of his loud and incoherent babbling and our collective attempt to shush him before Josh answered.

“Because, I am not planning on going home, honey,” he whisper-shouted, hoping that I would just get it without him having to be too obvious. Yeah, I got it. It didn’t mean I was willing to help him. I looked at the guy again, who suddenly pretended to be very interested in the hallway lights. At that moment, the owner of the barking dog opened his own door to passionately inform us what we all were. I had no other choice than to hastily usher them all in.

“You can’t leave him here just like that? Are you out of your mind? Is this some kind of retribution for what he did the last time? Because it’s not funny. This is my home, and not a fucking sobering center! Just call him an uber,” I continued to protest once we were all safely inside my apartment, and that’s when Jake chimed in for the first time with something that made at least a bit of sense: “Yeah, ah-don’ wanna…,” he hiccupped before he could finish the sentence, making me even more incensed with the whole situation. He quickly tried to amend it, but it was too late. I was seething, my nostrils flaring. “...bother-er. Ah-don’ wanna bother-er! She’s…fierssshe!” he spat in Josh’s face, making him scrunch his face in disgust. 

“Well, you should have thought about not bothering people before you got so shitfaced,” Josh spat back, completely ignoring what I just said. “This is your doing.”

What? I shot a deadly stare at Josh. No, it was absolutely not Jake’s doing that they were now standing in my living room. And regardless of the fact that I had work to do – and he knew that – he also knew how I felt about Jake, and was now putting me in a very uncomfortable position. “Out! All of you!” 

I’m pretty sure I must have looked like Wrath personified, because Jake whoa’ed again and Josh seemed to finally acknowledge his misconduct. He grabbed my hands in his, suddenly looking like a meek puppy. “I’m sorry, babe. Don’t be mad, hun. I know this is too much to ask, but do this for a friend. I beg you…”

“No, I beg you Josh!” I tried to sound as calm and collected as possible through my gritted teeth, knowing that being just mad would get me nowhere. Josh was too stubborn to ever acknowledge someone else’s anger and boundaries meant nothing to him once you became his friend, which basically meant family. However, he was empathetic. “You know I have a lot of baking to do tomorrow. I’m tired. Just please, take him home.”

Josh bit his lip and he looked like he was trying to say something and NOT say it at the same time. It was late and I felt awfully tired, but the whole thing seemed a bit fishy to me. Just when Josh nodded and finally opened his mouth to respond, Jake grabbed his shoulder. “Ah need to pee, Jawshy boy,” he whined and swayed dangerously, pouting his lips at his twin brother. He was already in his teddy bear phase which meant that he indeed wasn’t fit to be sent home alone in an uber. He’d be knocked out in no time, and even if Josh went with him, he’d have a hard time just getting him out of the car. 

Josh glanced sideways at the guy, who had been pretending to be invisible the whole time, and then looked at me pleadingly again. I capitulated. “OK, take that big baby to the bathroom and I’ll fetch some blankets,” I sighed. 

Together, they helped Jake get comfy on the couch and he fell asleep before his head even touched the pillow. And me? I felt relieved when I finally closed the door behind them and everything became quiet again, disturbed only by Jake’s light snoring.

They were taking their time, so once I fixed the makeshift bed, it was just me and the guy standing in the middle of the room, waiting, and it was getting increasingly awkward with each passing second. “So, you’re Y/N,” he finally spoke.

“Yeah,” I answered curtly, confirming the obvious. “We’ve met.”

“But we weren’t properly introduced yet. I’m Martin.” I shook Martin’s hand politely without really wanting to, because I knew that if they were heading to his place instead of Josh’s, it probably meant that the chances I’d see Martin again were quite low. Yet another reason for me being annoyed. 

I poured him a large glass of water, squeezed some fresh lemon juice into it and placed it carefully on a small table right next to his head before I switched off the light, leaving just a small table lamp on, and went back to my bed, hoping to spend the rest of the night in peace and get some much needed rest. 

However, the fact that there was Jacob Kiszka, Sir, lying unconscious on my couch right outside my bedroom door, made it a bit difficult to fall back to sleep. I had never been in a situation like this and it made me feel unpleasantly agitated. I wasn’t afraid of him. I just didn’t trust my own feelings. 

I should have been angry. 

But I was not. Not exactly. Not anymore. My heart wasn’t beating wildly out of annoyance. Instead, I felt like a schoolgirl, trapped in an elevator with that annoying boy from music class who was also her crush. There were many conflicting feelings inside both my head and chest; and knowing that he probably wouldn’t remember how he ended up on my couch come morning only made it all worse. 

I finally dozed off, but morning came sooner than I wished it would, and with it a headache. It felt like just a brief moment, filled with restless dreams about me and Jake dancing on the rooftop to Golden Slumbers playing out of nowhere, with sugar snowing down at us and our hands sticky with jam. Then he smeared some on my cheek and peppered it with kisses…

When I opened my eyes, the feeling still lingered, like powdered sugar on the top of my tongue. Soft and weightless like snowflakes, yet it lay heavily on my chest. Together with the lack of rest, it made me feel almost hungover-ish. I lied unmoving for a while, listening to the silence that surrounded me and wondering whether he was still there. Maybe he already woke up earlier and quickly sneaked out after realizing where he was. 

It was unlikely, but I could hardly ever control these self-deprecating thoughts. Especially regarding men. I cursed Josh once again and decided to take a quick cold shower to wake up my senses.

It helped only just a bit. Refreshed, I opened my bedroom door carefully and peaked inside the living room. He was still there, and fast asleep. Slowly, I creeped up on him on my tiptoes, and then spent several long seconds just watching him sleep, before I started to feel like a complete lunatic. But… he looked so peaceful and almost angelic in the milky morning light, lying on his side with his hands folded under his chin, his lips parted and brows relaxed. The glass was empty, and I couldn’t help but smile involuntarily. Once there was a way to get back homeward…

Then I remembered that this was no domestic idyl. I just had a drunk rock guitarist on my couch, and – let’s be brutally honest here – once I got past that dreamy visual illusion, a strong olfactory reminder of this much more prosaic reality hit my nostrils. 

I also had several large chunks of dough in the fridge and a debilitating headache that almost made me question all my life choices.

No, it didn’t.

But all those things had to be taken care of and I had no idea how. I tried to be as quiet as a mouse at first, but after realizing that it could take at least a couple more hours before he’d wake up, maybe even half a day – the time that I couldn’t afford to waste – I took Josh’s previous advice and decided to just ignore him. 

I really needed coffee… to get the stupid dream, and the song, and all my delusions out of my head. Did I forget that he was also a big-headed asshole? Yeah, that’s the spirit. 

It turned out that my worries were groundless anyway. I could make as much noise as possible in my adjacent kitchenette and he wouldn’t even stir. The motherfucker really seemed to be losing his hearing from standing in front of those huge amplifiers and the malicious creature inside my chest chuckled at the thought. 

I took the dough out of the fridge and let it soften at room temperature while I made myself some coffee and started to get everything ready. Clanking of baking sheets, coffee grinder, squeaking cabinet doors…nothing seemed to disturb my sleeping beauty. I kept casting wary glances at him every now and then at first, but soon I got accustomed to the unusual situation and just immersed myself in my work. 

I had my very elaborate system. I could fit twenty cut pieces – meaning ten cookies – on one sheet, there was roughly enough dough for approximately thirty sheets, it takes ten minutes to bake AND I had only four sheets. You can see I had to be very systematic. Preparation is the key and every minor disturbance could be disastrous. Thankfully, I’m a master multitasker. Still, I prayed to all the known and yet to be made-up deities that nothing would happen. No more surprises, please and thank you. 

A few hours passed and the delicious aroma of lemon and vanilla started to fill the room. I was also sweating like a pig, rolling and cutting the dough in haste, always making sure I had enough sheets ready so that there would be no idle time. Focused on the task ahead, I didn’t hear him stir, and my heart jumped in my throat when I finally looked up and saw those beady eyes watching me intently. 

I tried to keep my cool, looking down again quickly. “Well, good morning,” I mumbled. It was almost midday. 

“Morning, Y/N…,” he choked out huskily and finally tried to stand up, which only resulted in him groaning in pain and slumping back immediately. Oh yeah, consequences…

“Do you remember how you got here?” I asked tentatively. 

“I wish I could say I do, but to be honest, I’ve no idea,” he breathed out with his eyes closed. “I was just hanging out with Josh and the next thing I know I’m lying on your couch at blue hour, feeling half dead.” He finally opened at least one eye, just enough to be able to see me.

I nodded and continued cutting the dough. I wasn’t going to make it any easier for him. The timer just chimed and I had to switch the sheets anyway. 

“So?” 

Did I just hear annoyance and impatience in his voice? Oh yeah, a hungover asshole is still an asshole. It shouldn’t have surprised me. “What?” I spat back over my shoulder.

“Care to explain what the fuck I’m doing here?” 

I don’t understand how he always managed to just smash all my buttons with one single blow, and once again he made me see red. I literally threw the next sheet in the oven and slammed the door shut with a loud bang before I turned around and lashed out at him. 

“Oh I wish I knew the answer. Be so kind and ask your precious brother who literally just pushed you through my door in the middle of the night, half-conscious and reeking of whisky, because he wanted to get laid. You’re welcome! Fucker…”

He blinked a few times, obviously taken aback. 

“I’m sorry Y/N.” The tone of his voice changed and for a split second I almost regretted my curtness. Almost. “Just let me call an uber and I’ll be out of here in no time,” he mumbled, checking his pocket, while I watched him struggle with secret satisfaction. That headache must have been hellish. Good. At least I wasn’t the only one. 

He suddenly frowned and started rummaging in all his pockets frantically, including the jacket haphazardly thrown over the armrest. “Where the hell is my phone… and my valet… and my fucking keys. Y/N…did you take my stuff?” 

“What? No! The last thing I’d wanna do would be to prevent you from leaving.”

We were watching each other warily, both equally confused. Then it dawned on him. “I’m gonna kill that scrawny little bastard!” Straightening up, he closed his eyes and tried to take a deep breath in a futile attempt to fight off his growing nausea as well as the rage that made his nostrils flare. 

My anger dissipated in an instant… or, to be more precise, it was instantly redirected towards his twin. “I don’t understand. Why would he do that? He knows how busy I am today,” I whined. 

Jake didn’t respond. Instead, he asked for my phone. I quickly dialed Josh’s number and handed it to Jake, because the timer chimed again. 

It went straight to voicemail. 

As I was stacking freshly baked pieces on a tray placed on the small kitchen island which also served as my dining table, Jake leaned against it right opposite to me, looking absolutely miserable. “What now?” 

Am I their mother or what? I couldn’t drive him, but even if I did, he still didn’t have his keys. I couldn’t even call him an uber to Josh’s, because I knew that scrawny little bastard wasn’t there. It became obvious that Jake was stuck with me for at least another couple hours. He kept watching, obviously still waiting for me to say something, but I didn’t answer. Instead, I just sighed and grabbed the rolling pin again, aggravated with both of them and feeling like their hostage, stuck in the middle of their infantile games. The time was ticking, with my perfectly planned schedule already disrupted.

“Let me at least help you,” he looked at me hopefully with those puppy eyes they both shared. Fuckers. Seriously. Quirks of the mischievous nature that at one point decided that one of them wasn’t enough. 

“I think you should take a shower first.”

It was a deliberate jab, and I expected him to retort back just like he always did. I did NOT expect him to widen his eyes in genuine horror. “Is it that bad?” 

I didn’t dare answer that question but my face betrayed me when I looked at him sideways and bit my lip. He grabbed the collar of his shirt and took one tentative whiff. “Oh my god, it is. I think I need more than a shower, actually. I smell as if I slept in a puddle of beer.” 

I immediately regretted that I let him sleep on my couch, but he looked completely bashful and embarrassed and my previous unwillingness to continue helping him was already in shambles.

“Ok,” I sighed and put down the cookie cutter. “Come with me. I have some spare sweatpants. Thankfully, my ass is just as big as yours, but it might be a bit too tight around the waist…”

“Excuse me?” he protested, but otherwise obediently followed me into my bedroom. 

“You’re right. My mistake. Yours is bigger,” I chuckled at my own joke while rummaging in my drawer, before throwing him a pair of my favorite grey sweatpants, an old, oversize flannel shirt and a clean towel. “Everything else you might need is in the bathroom. The washing machine’s down in the basement.” 

“Thank you. Uummm…do you, perhaps, have a spare toothbrush? For friends... and such?” He smiled cheekily, testing my patience once again. But to be fair, he couldn’t have known that there was a shortage of “and such” people ever since I met him, because I just wasn’t interested in anyone else for a while now. 

“Yeah, there’s a couple of them in the purple cabi… oh fuck!” I quickly excused myself, alarmed by the smell of something burning, because I forgot to set the timer…

Too busy trying to stave off the impending disaster in my kitchen, I barely noticed him sneaking around me on his way down to the basement. So, when he knocked on the door a moment later and I answered it, the sight in front of me threw me completely off-guard. Being no stranger to Jake’s exposed chest, there was a strange sense of novelty in seeing him in my own unbuttoned shirt. Paul started singing inside my head again, but only until my eyes involuntarily slid further down, putting the song to an abrupt stop, just like a torn magnetic tape.

I was right about the waist being too tight, which meant he had it pulled down well below his navel, and seeing his happy trail made me scream internally. 

And to top it all off, he still had the towel wrapped around his head. 

I was not prepared for the feral reaction he suddenly elicited deep inside my body, and I’m sure he noticed, judging by the cocky half-smile that followed. I quickly turned away before I would compromise myself further. 

“I made you some coffee,” I nodded towards the steaming cup waiting for him on the counter, while still not daring to look directly at him again. “... and there are some popsicles in the freezer.”

“Thank yo… popsicles?!?” I might as well have suggested cotton candy, judging by the look he gave me, making me feel like an idiot,  so I quickly explained: “Yeah, they’re perfect when you wanna get rid of a hangover. Orange’s my favorite.” I still felt like an idiot. 

“I’m feeling better now.” His tone was kind and friendly, for which I was grateful, and I could hear him smiling, with my eyes still fixed on the small yellow circles in front of me. “I think I’m getting a bit hungry, though.”

“I’m not cooking anything now, Jake!” I placed the last little yellow circle on the sheet with care, before I started kneading another chunk of dough frantically.

“No, I didn’t mea…”

“There’s instant ramen on the top shelf.”

“Jesus Christ.” 

“Yeah, whatever.”

“What are YOU going to eat, Y/N?”

“I don’t have time for such luxuries right now…”

“Y/N!” He was leaning against the counter desk right in front of me again. I hadn’t even noticed him sneaking so close again, so his sudden exclamation made me jump. “You have to eat something. Look, your hands are shaking.” 

Yeah, no shit. But I’m not exactly hungry. There was a huge lump in my stomach, making it quite full. I was getting lost in the sea of my conflicting feelings again when all of the sudden, he put an abrupt stop to it like a fierce wave that sent me crashing on the shore, as he lifted my chin up gently with his index and middle finger. “Look at me, Y/N. I am going to fix us a quick lunch, ok?” 

“Ok…,” I peeped meekly. 

Jake just nodded, bound his damp, uncombed hair in a makeshift low bun with the band he always wore on one his fingers just in case, and started rummaging in my fridge. “Allrighty then! What do we have here…,” he crooned cheerfully.

And just like that, Paul was back… lalalalala.

To be continued...

@thewritingbeforesunrise @fleet-of-fiction @writingcold @lvnterninthenight @its-interesting-van-kleep   @takenbythemadness   @edgingthedarkness @myownparadise96 @gvfstuddedmajesty @jazzyfigz @sanguinebats @josh-iamyour-mama @lyndz2names @wetkleenex-gvf @peaceloveunitygvf @cheersdannyx2 @fleetingjake @lizzys-sunflower @emojakekiszka @gvfmarge @Dayumclarizzel @lipstickittty @clownstarr @gretasfallingsky @musicislove3389 @i-love-gvf @psychedelectable @allof--mylove @sacredsparrow @hearts-hunger

[kaythefloppa]

MUFASA: THE LION KING LIVEBLOG/THOUGHTS [SPOILERS]

Today, Mufasa: The Lion King has released worldwide in theaters. Within the hours of being unleashed upon the world as the latest entry in the Lion King franchise and in the Disney movie lineup, the movie has become available online.

As someone who has been anticipating this film since the day it was greenlit in September of 2020, now I can finally watch it to see if it was worth the hype, if it succeeds my expectations, or if it sucks (it does not).

Also, I should preface this by saying that I am not walking in semi-blind. I was not immune to spoilers, some of which I voluntarily exposed myself to, others were stumbled upon without any warning or disclaimer, but this is still my full thoughts on the film as I watch it for the first time in proper.

SPOILERS BELOW.

I think anyone and their grandma can see Pride Rock next to the Disney castle in the opening. It's not really much to say, but in this movie specifically, I smile noticing it.

It was announced that the film would pay tribute to James Earl Jones in the opening. I was not surprised by that, and I definitely shouldn't be surprised hearing his archived recordings in the opening but... goddamn.

LEBO M HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU. Much like in the original and Simba's Pride, he is the first voice you hear in the story and god it fits.

A lot of people have pointed out how unlike the 2019 remake of TLK, this film has a wide array in emotions, expressions, and life, focusing more on actually being an animated story rather than being a nature documentary (eat it John Favereau). This entire opening solidifies that fact and I think this bears repeating as to what one of this film's biggest strengths are.

SIMBA HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU!!!!!!!!

People have made comparisons to Narnia and Jungle Book when it comes to everything the remake got wrong. I'm making those comparisons to praise this movie specifically, I'm getting those vibes.

Nala is out here doing what we all should be doing; Touching grass.

Also Simba and Nala really be out here making long distance work. I love them so f*cking much and I hate hate hate how we're not going to see much of them in the story [for reasons that are perfectly valid, especially if you know how the movie ends which... we'll get to that]

I listened to the soundtrack before watching this film; It slaps so much. It's everything you would want in a theatrical Lion King sequel, so hearing it in the ACTUAL movie, that's astonishing.

Oh look... Timon and Pumbaa are here. Which is nice cause I'm a huge fan of Timon and Pumbaa (I stand by the fact that Lion King 3 is arguably the most god-tier of all Disney sequels) but.... Seth Rogan warthog..

"And that one three-legged zebra." Fuck that's actually pretty dark and I love it.

Kiara exists in this film. I was at first upset that they were retreading earlier ground but... I'm cool with it now. Not exactly what I would've done, but I can nod heads with it.

I get that Timon and Pumbaa overexaggerate things (a later joke in the film would confirm that) but I don't see why Simba is against the idea of them telling her stories. I think any child would be okay with that, even with the circumstances happening. Then again, this could be an indicator of Simba's paranoia and fearing that Kiara could go through the same thing. Jesus, no matter what universe this guy is in he is still traumatized, got-damn.

Oh wait I take it back I fucking love that Kiara is in this film, she is adorable.

Simba really had a glow-up from having a kid.

We all knew that Timon and Pumbaa fighting Scar in the trailers was just them fucking around, so I don't need to comment more on this. I will point out how one of my predictions for the remake was seeing Pumbaa defend Simba from Scar seeing as how warthogs can often square up against lions in real life. So, even in the context of a Timon and Pumbaa joke that makes zero sense, I'm still vindicated.

As someone who had an INTENSE fear of thunder and lightning as a child and.... still has somewhat of an aversion thereof as an adult, I can very much resonate with Kiara's reaction to the storm.

"We sing that song for 6 years straight." I'm going to ignore that line just so that I can continue to headcanon Lion King characters aging by humans (I am coping and seething rn)

RAFIKI HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU.

Rafiki in this film reminds me of my grandfather I cannot stop smiling every time he goes on screen, I want to hug him.

"Ceremonial birthing grounds" Holy SHIT I was not expecting such lore early on. Bravo Berry Jenkins.

John Kani is KILLING this role as Rafiki. I would easily use this as another opportunity to dunk the remake but I'm too distracted by how good this performance is and how it fits the character so well. I'm the furthest thing from a Disney shill, but I would unoequivcally watch a four-season prequel spin-off series about Rafiki if one ever came out, and I have this goddamn movie to blame.

This is gonna be a running theme but Rafiki has some of the best lines in this movie. What the fuck was Jenkins smoking and can I have it? /pos.

They played the This Land theme whilst Kiara talks about how she could never be brave like her granddad and father. The parallels....

Aand here we go, Mufasa backstory time! I mean, you'd have to ignore the three existing backstories that already exist but then again, all of them suck ass," so here we fucking goooooooo.

I really dislike when movies use "moons" as a time indicator because like, what does that mean? Does it literally mean a lunar cycle of nearly 30 days? Months? Years? I'm thinking way too much into this aren't I?

YEAAAH TITLE CARD BABEEEEEYYYYYYYYYYYY. WE ARE SO FUCKEN BAACK.

Goddamn I remember that one frame of Mufasa and his parents being released and it was so stupid. It looks even dumber seeing it to motion but damn it it looks so cute in a way!

Aww, look at how much Mufasa loves his parents. I hope these characters survive all the way to the end of the film without any major catastroph-yeah no, I can't even fucking finish it.

Milele is a good enough song with the vocals, but the visuals are really what hammer it home for me. The wide arrays of gold, pinks, purples, and greens, it brings life into this world, showcases the beauty of Africa, and emphasizes the dreamy aspect of the song. Also, you get Keith motherf*cking David singing in a Lion King movie, game respects game.

Also the T(He)y Lives in You reference was very well put together.

Mufasa chasing a butterfly being a reference to Kiara chasing a butterfly in Simba's Pride!!

I already knew Mufasa's father was gonna die in this but seeing him play with Mufasa, goddamn you Disney. Your never-ending patricide may be predictable, but it will never not tug my heart-strings.

I don't know who this giraffe is but I love them already.

Man, we've really come a long way since Simba's blank expression at the stampede, huh? Nature is fucking healing.

DAM(N)

Bisexual lighting in the water spotted.

You can hear Nants Ingonyama when Mufasa is submerged underwater! Deep cut.

Honestly, the hippos just glancing at Mufasa and swimming past him is hilariously dickish and it makes me forgive how they haven't immediately chomped him /j

Here's Taka (UGGGGGHHH ~ Sorry, I had to get that one out, they could've chosen any other name for him)

From day 1, Scar has always been a little shit lmao.

This doesn't mean anything on any scale, but I would've replaced the crocodiles with hippos. Would've been more scary.

Taka getting Mufasa up is directly contrast to how he will eventually kill him. This movie is going to try and yank my heart-strings out of my chest won't it?

"All important nap of kings." Bro's just like me fr.

Oh wait god I take it all back he's not like me fr HE'S NOT LIKE ME FR.

If I had a nickel for every recent piece of Lion King media that depicts cannibalism with the subtlety of a chainsaw to the pelvis, I'd have 2 nickels, which isn't a lot but WHY THE FUCK DO I HAVE 2 FUCKING NICKELS?!?!?! TWO!?!?

"Do you know what Mufasa means? It means King!" Erhm actually, Mufasa has no direct meaning in Swahili. It's a mix between Mfalme (which is the direct Swahili translation for "King" and the last pre-colonial King of Buganda called Mutisa. Obasi's clearly got his lions crossed. *cinemasins ding*

I love how Mufasa is clearly laughing and joking around as this adult lion is actively trying to fucking murder him. Either he is that oblivious to the danger that he is in, or he is actively trolling this asshole. If it's the latter, or even both, I love it.

I have a feeling that Obasi has actually murdered other outsider cubs before, or maybe even succeeded in sabotaging their initiation rituals so he can eat them. I get that the whole "lions killing cubs that aren't their own" is a part of nature but apply human behavior to that and you can see how sick this is. Not to mention, Taka would have probably been in proxy to these and... shit, no wonder he turned out to be a nasty piece of work.

Oh so THIS is the challenge that Scar was mentioning in the remake.

The PTSD flashbacks jumpscared me.

Oh my god the close up of Mufasa... peak fucking fiction.

Omg that one scene in the trailer of Mufasa leaping from the tree is in the movie- aaaand he is going ass over teakettle afterwards lmao.

The little "I Always Wanted a Brother" instrumental playing when Taka helps Mufasa out of the water🥺

"You will keep him with the females" oh that's not.....

The entiredy of "I Always Wanted a Brother" is amazing. The lyrics cleverly delve into Scar and Mufasa's individual personalities and traits that'll magnify in their adulthood, as well as their growing relationship, and the visuals feel alive as ever with the chorus and beat topping it all off. Lin Manuel Miranda cooked here and I am not afraid to admit it. This song is the best in the entire movie and is everything one would look for in a Lion King prequel. No wonder the marketing loved this song so much.

Also, Mufasa: The Lion King proudly continues the tradition of A) musical numbers with background animal choreography and B) transitions to show characters aging. We truly have come full Circle [Of Life]

Ok but this entire song is way funnier when it's essentially these animals saying "Get your ass back home" to these two little shits.

"Some things you chase but you cannot hold." That line is DEFINITELY a double-meaning and applies to both brothers. For Taka, it refers to how he can't keep/gain the power he obtains + the object of his desires as much as he tries and for Mufasa, it means he won't be able to maintain the relationship with his adoptive brother. The failure to practice this philosophy leads to both of their downfalls so what is at first a cute lyric becomes very dark in retrospect and I have to applaud the songwriter if he was intentional with that.

Ok so if Obasi doesn't allow outsiders and since he values blood and all, then I'm assuming these other male lions are related to him. I'm gonna guess that they're his brothers and/or cousins.

The animals singing in a circle around Mufasa and Taka reminds me a lot of high school dance circles, it's very funny (and also sweet that the animals and Taka are singing for Mufasa).

You heard of the boy who cried wolf; Well here's the lion who cried elephant. (Also, 10/10 prank).

"They did it [the prank] again!" I think the saying goes, "fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me." Also I was half-expecting an ACTUAL elephant stampede to knock them down, ;p

"You want to be with the females?" I have no jokes for this, I am legitimately disgusted with how mysoginistic Obasi is and yeah, that's definitely the point, but like, I was NOT expecting that. I guess maybe they needed to emphasize how Taka had such a shitty role model growing up and that a large part of his fall to darkness was not learning how sick and wrong this line of thinking is, and objectively that is good writing when handling such a topic, especially since again, the movie is very much against this and to a lesser degree, it's an origin story I guess I'm just taken by surprise at the sudden mysoginy, and at the end of the day, did we really need this character to be a PodcastBro™ to get the idea that he's not supposed to be someone we root for? Or is it really not that deep and I'm thinking too much into this?

Eshe is such a good mother to Mufasa, helping him home into his senses to hunt, and even offering to help Mufasa find his parents. I think this is a good contrast between Mufasa and Taka when it comes to the nurture part of nature vs. nurture. It's also an interesting mirror to the fan-portrayals of their relationships with their parents as it's usually Taka/Scar being close to his mother and Mufasa being close to his father.

I see a lot of Tarzan similarities here and I think you can notice them well. That being said, Tarzan is also peak fiction that I look fondly towards, and this movie is also looking really good so far, so there is nothing but adoration.

Timon and Pumbaa reacting to Mufasa's line of being a stray with no responsibilities, calling him "one of us" all but confirms that if he was still alive today, they would 100% be friends.

"Hakuna Mufasa" essentially means "There is no Mufasa." I.e. what a good chunk of Simba's childhood was like. Shit, I'm pretty sure Rafiki even knew the fucked up implications of that when he interrupted them.

Timon and Pumbaa I love you but please shut the fuck up right now.

I think everyone has made the Kimba jokes, so I'm just going to say how two white lions would NOT stand out in a sea of tall tannish green grass.

This entire hunting scene is the definition of tension. No dialogue, just music.

Oh, the trailers outright baited us into thinking Eshe was gonna sacrifice herself to save Mufasa. Well played Disney.... well played.

Damn, Taka is horrified as shit.

Go for the juglar Mufasa! The jugular!!

The framing of the scene goes by quick, but I think the implication is that Kiros's son got straight up impaled by one of the branches on the dead tree when Mufasa knocked him down... we're only half an hour into this 2 hour film and we already have a kill count of 3 characters, one of which by the titular.

Ngl, I was hoping/expecting Mufasa to be the aggressor in the fight to try and scare off the lions and this would be how he learns that "being brave doesn't mean you go looking for trouble." And/or that Eshe potentially sacrificing herself would be what gives him that reality check. But either way, as is, this fight scene did demonstrate bravery as a quality of Mufasa in a good way.

"I owe you a great debt" yeah you also owe him an apology for refusing to take any parental custody over him, for the emotional neglect, for your misogyny-driven alienation of him, and oh yeah, trying to FUCKING CANNIBALIZE HIM.

I mean in fairness to the white lion, what the fuck was he supposed to do? Mufasa LITERALLY impaled Sachu.

Obasi lying to protect Taka reminds me of Rameses offering to lie to absolve Moses of his murder. Also, once again, this scene does very well to point out how Taka's upbringing played a role in his eventual fall from grace without making him an abused woobie stripped of any character.

I was gonna complain about how the Outsiders are a thing in this movie but the fact that they are evidently not Zira's pride and also have an explanation to their existence makes it hard to complain.

Ok so the first act of the film is kinda rushed, I'll admit that. Guess they had to go on the journey pretty quick.

So far, Timon and Pumbaa's commentary has ranged from somewhat funny to cringeworthy. Why exactly are they involved in this plot? Or, if they had to be, why not Sarabi and Zazu who actually partook in this story we're being told. You could get alot of colorful dynamics that would add both extra comedy and emotion to the story. I'm getting this out of the way now because even though there's a later scene that is juxstaposed to this, it still confuses me a bit.

"Yours is the last pride of the valley of kings" woah, that actually means Kiros has killed other prides before. This is straight up the lion equivalent of imperialism.

"Everything the light touches belongs to me," well what about when it's dark out? Ever thought of that, asshole? Obasi could easily lawyer up and kick your ass back to the swamp /j

"There will be one ruler. One, Lion King." He said it, he said the thing!

Not gonna lie, Kiros's villain song, Bye-Bye sounds like it was pulled from Jake and the Never Land Pirates. But then again, that show's soundtrack is fucking awesome, as is this film's soundtrack, as is this song. The vocals and lyrics are deliciously villainous and the beat is haunting. My only gripe is that it's too short, and the movie's version of the song doesn't include the background vocals like the soundtrack version. That and the visuals aren't as stunning as I imagined but, still, it's a good villain song! And for a song titled "Bye-Bye" of all things that is a feat.

Man, I thought I was actually gonna see Kiros kill Obasi and Eshe. I mean it's obvious that he did but, showing it on screen would've really hammered home the idea that he doesn't mess around. But instead we smash cut to the brothers running away. LAME!!!!!!!

"They live in you now" oh that hits so hard.

Aquaphobic Mufasa canon???

"It's not my fault crocodiles are simply attracted to you," tell me why my mind instantly went to a visual of Pua x Mufasa (and why I can somehow buy that???)

"My scent? I've been stalking you two all night." Sarabi how I have missed you.

ZAZU HOW I HAVE MISSED YOU.

Sarabi royalty confirmed.

I once saw a theory that Rafiki (a mandrill) was raised by baboons, which explains why he has no qualms with being called one, and gives a new perspective to his phrase "you're a baboon, and I'm not." To whoever came up with that theory, you are a goddamn prophet.

Again, I think all of this goes by way too fast, I think a few more minutes establishing this troop along with Rafiki's character traits and behaviors and THEN hitting us with the tragic fall-out would've worked a lot better.

"Born with a leg that does not work," that explains the walking stick he has in the movie.

"It was Rafiki who found water in the dry season!" Six New Adventures reference!

Rafiki is fucking hilarious.

''A single stick may smoke, but it will never burn." Once again, Rafiki is the best fucking character in this entire film.

Did... Zazu just break the fourth wall???

"I am not a baboon. I am a mandrill." It took us 30 fucking years for a Lion King movie to address this, god bless.

"No offense, but a monkey is a monkey," Mufasa racist moment /j

Rafiki and Mufasa's discussion at the pool is so good. Once again, it has that natural Lion King narrative DNA in it and it speaks a lot about both characters as part of an origin story. Both characters are very heavy key players in the classic Lion King stroy, so this scene does them a GREAT deal of justice.

"I have a report! It's morning." Ok, funny joke.

"Hallucinating baboon!" Sarabi racist moment /j

This plot really knows how to connect together, via using Eshe's sensory training to help dodge Kiros's team.

We Go Together is an amazing song. It's very good for a road-trip/buddy movie, and, not unlike Hakuna Mtata from the original, is a very good palatte cleanser from the story's more darker elements. The characters have enough time to shien in their own ways and the overlaps of their lyrics is kinda growing on me. I substract points for the stupid-ass love triangle bit they imply and trust me, we will get to that when we get to that.

You know that one scene in kids' shows and movies where it is nothing but unabashed second-hand embarassment and/or cringe. The entire scene where Mufasa gives Taka love advice for Sarabi, and Taka's attempts to kiss-up to her is exactly that. If it's not completely uncomfortable to listen to, it's BO-RING. And I wish it was just a one-off gag that meant fuck-all in the end but I've listened to the soundtrack and got spoilered on a later element in the film that just does not help.

Seeing the elephant herd reminds me of when my sister and I were in Africa and saw an entire herd, moms and their babies pass by. On that same vacation, my grandpa and I also saw an elephant pass the road. Huge disclaimer, never piss them off.

Sarabi rendered an entire colony of bees homeless and more than likely killed a good amount of elephants by getting them stung. That's not very Circle of Life of her.

Mufasa saving Sarabi's life!! That man is her HUSBAND.

Ah yes, the epic tale of Rafiki's stick. The mythos of the stick has finally been revealed. This is the REAL Lion King lore I signed up for. Barry Jenkins you are too good.

On one hand Mufasa lying to make Taka look good is an interesting character study. On the other hand.... that stupid fucking love triangle that this builds up to. I hate it so much, SO MUCH. Replace the payoff with ANYTHING ELSE, and I'd be okay with this. Ugh!

Rafiki, Kiara, Timon, and Pumbaa's hug is great. Rafiki explaining the sad reality of social alienation, relating it to his experiences, followed up by Timon and Pumbaa lightening the mood but adding to that emotion with them being outsiders. I knew it wouldn't be long until I started to love them being in this film. Take your crown you kings, you earned it!

Oh my god Mufasa has hella PTSD here, it's a really good representation of it.

Zazu's a real one here, covering up the tracks.

I. Fucking. Love. Rafiki.

"Mufasa, I gotch'u." I headcanon those were Sarabi's wedding vows. No one can prove me wrong.

I thought Mufasa and Sarabi's romance would be a bit rushed here and to be fair... it almost does??? It's not the whole center of the story, and Sarabi is able to stand out as a character on her own outside of the love story. As for their love story itself, it's very well put together with enough screentime and it feels real. Oh and their love song is also pretty great. We were WELL overdue with a Mufasa/Sarabi love song and this movie did not fail to deliver.

Also, Sarabi figuring out on her own that Mufasa saved her and being able to pick up on all of his genuinely best qualities, that's like really impressive, and it's actually a neat twist on the 'liar revealed' trope.

Okay, now here's my allotted time to talk about one of the things I was dreading seeing in this film and am unfortunate enough to be right seeing. The stupid Mufasa/Scar/Sarabi love-triangle. I hate it. I hate how one of the only major changes the remake had to its story was adding that love triangle to give 'depth' to the characters, when in reality, it diminished the characters by not having more for the story to speak about them, made the tension between them flat by consequence, and the remake never resolves this in a meaningful way. Plus it is BORING as hell. And now the movie is apparently using that same love triangle once again, as a MAJOR plot-point. Not only that, but the fact that Taka immediately snaps and goes villain after seeing his crush go after his brother... what the hell are ya even doing man?

The first act of the film gives us a lot of elements to go off of for his villain arc. Being spoiled by his parents, poor parental influence, being a control freak, maybe we see more signs that Taka blames Mufasa for his parents getting killed, or holds him responsible for it, or heck, even his guilt/inferiority complex that stems from the trauma of running away when his mother was in a life-or-death situation. So many other things that could result in a complex but constructive beginnings of a villain, and yet it's this stupid underbaked love triangle, this one isolated moment that changes the trajectory of his entire character arc and oh my god I hate it, I hate it so much. Nevertheless, Brother Betrayed is a good song.

Seeing Taka throw a tantrum over his crush not liking him back and later falling into the snow is cathartic as hell. I want to see this little turd lose.

So he teams up with the white lions... after they killed both his parents and caused him to be banished from his home... not to mention, they tried to kill him?? Unless he's tricking them somehow so he could get close enough to take them out, this is incredibly stupid. I don't care if this snivelling little shit gets punched in the face, but also as is, this is bad writing.

Taka laying out scars to lead the villains to their location. Now THAT is clever foreshadowing.

Pumbaa your husband is right next to you, why are you pretending not to like love 😭😭😭

That is a cool ass background.

The shots of the Pride Lands matching the visions of Milele. This movie knows how to use its visuals.

Man I remember all the theories saying that the big tree in Milele was the Tree of Life from the Lion Guard, or that somehow Milele was always Mufasa's adopted home. Still, magnificent.

I think all of us could predict Rafiki and Mufasa having a brotherly bond. I like how the theme of this movie involves family in ways other than biological relation. I think the brotherhood theme could've been used with Zazu as well, but this is sooooooo cuuuteee!!!

Wait how do the animals know the Outsiders are hunting Mufasa? Did the Outsiders terrorize Milele before? Did they somehow 'sense' the Outsiders' presence like Eshe taught Mufasa to? I like where this is going but there's no reason for them to have that much frame of reference to our protagonists' plight.

Kiros is truly horrifying.

"There are other lions here," wait, so maybe they're members of Sarabi's pride? Hmmm....

"Sarabi chose you... just like my mother, just like my own father." Uhm,,, what??? Obasi never 'chose' Mufasa for anything over Taka. And Mufasa was assigned to Eshe by Obasi. Sure, the dude may have looked Mufasa in a higher regard after the rescue but that is NOT the equivalent of preference? In fact, the very last thing Obasi said to Taka was to preserve the bloodline by outright lying to everyone. Did I miss something??

Hell yeah fight fight fight.

Is... IS THAT SARAFINA AND A YOUNG NALA IN THE PRIDE LANDS??? HOLY SHIT.

Mufasa uniting the animals together in a war rally... PEAK FICTION. This entire speech is peak levels of badass.

Mufasa said Nants ingonyama bagithi. The opening lines to Circle of Life HOLY FUCK BARRY JENKINS COOKED.

Only a villain like Kiros can make the phrase "Bye-Bye" sound menacing.

Zazu be out here using 0.001% of his full power.

W shoebill character (still sad that there's no caracal yet).

I think Zazu could offer a lot more in the final battle, like say, rallying the birds together and raining hell upon the lionesses, poking them with sticks or dropping rocks. He's gotten a decent enough amount of screentime but this climax should've really brought it home.

BEAT HIS ASS MUFASA. BEAT. HIS. MOTHER. FUCKING. ASS.

Okay, fine, give Taka some brownie points for standing in the way, but he still fucking deserves that scar. Fuck you Taka.

Also, the remake implies that Mufasa gave Scar his scar in the challenge, but it never outright said so, and TLK has always been a loose cannon when it came to... well, canon; So I can buy Kiros giving him the scar. I actualy can't believe that my prediction on Taka taking the bullet for Mufasa actually came true! Mark that off the bingo card!!!

The entire climax/stand-off/showdown has little to no dialogue and BY GOD does it ever work here. Mufasa and Taka looking at each other with clear emnity in their eyes, and then channeling all of their rage into their common foe to tag-team him. So much emotion.

"The earth will shake." LET. HIM. COOK.

And scratch "Pride Rock being formed by and earthquake that crushes the villain" off the bingo card.

Mufasa overcoming his water trauma by remembering Eshe's words to sense the rock that he'll use to crush Kiros into the water.

Ok y'all say it with me: Bye Bye Kiros!

I know this is a big emotional moment that shows the last of Taka's humanity and parallels with his first and last encounter with Mufasa.... but the HESITATION to help him, mixed with the clear anger at the beginning would've been enough to make me banish the dick.

See, Mufasa became king after proving his worth of leadership. There is no "he stole the throne/his brother's girlfriend" BS. You Buzzneed nerd-wannabees can fuck off now.

Oh look, I see some hyenas in the crowd. I wonder what their origin stories will be in this Lion King prequel!

"No more Kings, we are all one," setting aside TLK 2 reference, Mufasa is based for implying a democracy.

Are.... are you FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?! AFIA IS ALIVE???!!! MUFASA'S MOM IS ALIVE!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!!

Ok I'm conflicted. On one end, I don't like the fake-out death trope, especially when it's used at the end of films. On the other hand... Afia's presence really ties the themes and plot of 'Milele' together and it ~ really works. But still, imagine if Mufasa was visited by the spirit of his mother after becoming king, mirroring Mufasa's later divine intervention for his son. That would've worked so much better. Wasted potential af.

Also, if Afia's alive... who was the lion in the stars Mufasa saw during "I Always Wanted a Brother."

Oh... OH. OH GOD. MY HEART. R.I.P. MASEGO.

Whilst I still think keeping Afia dead would've been more effective, leaving Masego dead and keeping her alive adds an element of tragedy into the story, and the "He Lives in You" callback is well-equipped here.

Fuck you Taka you little shit.

I always took issue with the remake's backstory for Scar implying that he got his scar in a fight with Mufasa; Because if Scar already challenged Mufasa once, why does Mufasa trust him enough to depend on him or let his son romp around the place near him, even if he sticks around bc of "brotherhood." Whilst I don't mind that the remake 'retconned' that story (especially since it wasn't confirmed), I still take issue with that here; Again, if Taka had lied to Kiros, or did something to indicate that he wasn't on his side/wasn't truly against Mufasa, or if Taka could lie his way out of consequences, it would work, but as is, this just feels... off.

Also, Scar calling himself scar as a reminder of his embarassment and what he did, despite him continuing to do awful things rendering that admission completely null and void; it sucked when the books did it, it sucks here.

Maybe the real Milele were the friends we made along the way.

Mufasa's coronation is powerful, and blends well with Kiara's ascension. My only problem is the same problem I had with the remake. The roar came TOO EARLY. In the original's King of Pride Rock, Simba's ascension was concurrent with the swelling of the music, reaching its peak when he reached Pride Rock's peak, and then when Simba roared, that's when the music delved into Busa, which meshed into the reprise of Circle of Life. The remake fucks that up badly, and Mufasa, whilst still better in terms of that detail in pacing, still manages to miss that mark. So close... and yet so far...

Kiara can now Skype call her grandfather. The Circle is now truly complete.

"Kiara, this is your new brother." I... was kinda hoping the film would end with Simba and Nala adopting a new cub and said cub would bond with Kiara the way that Mufasa and Taka used to, and that said cub would be a girl but........ fine, fine. Also, I am 99% sure that cub is Kion. With how Disney recently uploaded The Lion Guard: Return of the Roar onto their YouTube channel in honor of Mufasa, and with how next year is The Lion Guard's 10th anniversary, meaning they'd HAVE to make another large acknowledgement of it, I am more than definitely subscribing to the fact that it is Kion. And... yeah I'm pretty cool with it (if it's Kopa, I will go into hibernation).

Kiara telling her brother the story is a neat way to wrap up this story in a bow.

CONCLUSION:

PROS:

The animals actually emote and express in this movie. Not only that, but the backgrounds and impressive technology are allowed to go all out in strength. We have come a long way. I hope to god the animators get their rents due, especially in an era where animation and animators are constantly getting the middle finger by companies and corporations.

This movie takes a lot of good ideas and executes them brilliantly. Mufasa being an orphan, Sarabi and Zazu being a team, Taka/Scar being descended from a bloodline, the white lions, EVERYTHING about Rafiki. It truly feels original. Regardless as to whether or not it's canon, it's an interesting exploration of the world we know and love, done by people who really understand the movie.

The songs are amazing. Lin Manuel Miranda did his absolute best for them and they manage to serve the plot and characters pretty well. LMM is a pretty hit or miss guy when it comes to music. Sometimes he can flop and we get shit like Scuttlebutt, but other times he hits the bull's eye and we get stuff like Moana, Encanto, and Mufasa. He was on his A-game tonight.

The voice acting had actual direction unlike the remake. The actors had a lot of fun behind the scenes and it's very easy to tell, even without the interviews. And the singing *cheff's kiss.*

CONS:

This movie tries very hard in a lot of directions, but there are some areas where it doesn't really try hard enough. I feel like a few things were a bit underdeveloped. For example, Rafiki's exile. Just, stretch that scene out 3-4 more minutes to establish Rafiki as a character, his traits, the nature of his baboon tribe, and THEN banish him. Or Taka's relationship with Obasi, maybe do a bit more to commentate on the toxic values that Taka grew up with and how they stuck with him, maybe that is one of the things that hints to him not being worthy of the throne, compared to Mufasa's more progressive influence and proaction. Anything besides that stupid fucking love triangle. And maybe some more Sarabi/Zazu backstory, we get to truly see the closeness between them, maybe Sarabi saves Zazu, and vice versa during the climax. What they do with them is fine, but, there was room for more.

Timon and Pumbaa had some good scenes here but also some duds. At the end of the day, they provide some interesting commentary and jokes to lighten the mood but... I think their humor could've been improved upon, especially with how Pumbaa acts too much like Timon and that kinda breaks the whole idea of them being polar opposites. If Disney ever does make a live-action remake of The Lion King 3 (and you bet your ass they will)... they really gotta change how they're utilizing these two.

I know I went on about how this movie's strengths are regardless of canon, especially with how it contradicts both the original and the remake, but there were some parts where I couldn't fully suspend my disbelief, even if you shut canon out of the window. Like, the lionesses we see in the climax helping Sarabi. Is Sarafina amongst them? If not, who? If the cub isn't Nala, who is it? If the cub is Nala, why does she look like she's Simba's age, yet she looks no older than Simba when he's a grown cub? Even if you age them naturally like IRL animals, those numbers still don't add up. And the hyenas. They appear at the end during Mufasa's coronation and bow. Okay... what did they do to get banished or become enemies? I know the story couldn't have shown too much focus over them but why have them there only to gloss over it if it didn't mean much of anything? Not only that, but the hyenas fucking bow down to Mufasa. I'm sorry- BOW??? IN WHAT UNIVERSE???? IN WHAT FUCKING UNIVERSE???? What kind of KFP 4 Lord Shen bullshit is going on here? My suspension of disbelief can only go so far before it is utterly decimated😭😭

The pacing can be a bit better. Some things overall do go on too fast (which results in my first point as to how things can be undercooked, it's a sympton of the issue) or in the case of other scenes like Taka trying to rizz up Sarabi... go on for way too long. It doesn't horrifically bog down the film and there are many, many, many scenes where the pacing is to this movie's advantage, but it could do better in some areas.

Sarabi and Zazu were nowhere to be found in the present day. Unless you count one of those lionesses walking her and her son back home, but still.... HATRED. Is Sarabi not allowed to live past the TLK 1 story???? Is this Disney's subtle way of killing her off, what the FU-

Final Thoughts:

This movie was always destined to be better than The Lion King 2019, but only because of the low bar. A good concept can go along way as long as there is a good execution (there was a lot of potential for the remake, but the management of it lead to an utter waste of a film).

For years I prayed for this film not to suck - with each and every update that this film had, I would manifest that it wouldn't be shit, bare mininum - bc it's a film that SHOULDN'T suck with how good of a concept they had in their hands and how EVERYTHING for this film relied on the execution, especially coming off the heels of an awful film that, like I said, lowerred the bar below the Marianas Trench.

And, despite some of my earlier gripes, nitpicks, and critiques, - I was right.

THIS MOVIE DID NOT SUCK.

Does it have flaws? Yes. Is it perfect? No. Is it as good as the original? Definitely no. But it... it truly is something to behold, and a masterpiece nonetheless that, if anything, will not fail to entertain. With really good writing, nice songs, relatable and interesting characters, a very engaging story, and is [mostly] serviceable as an origin story for some of these characters, canon or otherwise. I am most likely gonna get a lot of people to disagree with me but that's what I stand by. Overall, worth the four year long wait (4 years, fucking really..?). At worst, it's decent, and at best, it's amazing.

FINAL RANKING: 8/10

The movie's opening weekend has only just begun, and reviews and meandering in very opposite directions, but if and when this movie does perform well, I wouldn't be surprised if this was the last time we see these characters again.

[dellalyra]

FAMILY FORMATIONS PART FIFTEEN

SUMMARY:

Request from @criminalbenzene

Hi, it’s my first request, so please correct me if needed.

How about reader being sick and Gojo has to buy some medicine while taking care of the kids and he panics a little?

I love your Family Formations series, can’t wait for more xx

CW: swearing, illness, gojo is the best, fluff, the healthiest relationship ever, papa satoru, domestic sweetness

A/N: welcome back to our regular scheduling of domestic sweetness bc the manga breaks our hearts! I love this request it was sm fun and timely bc I currently have the flu so also very self-indulgent. Keep requests comin’ x x

Masterlist

“AaChOOooO”

Followed by sniffles and then a quick sound of the bathroom door slamming shut, and Satoru was racing into your joint bedroom. Hearing retching from the other side of the door, he pushed it open and crouched beside you, willing himself not to vomit too as he held back your hair.

After a few silent moments, the strength to speak returned and Satoru handed you your water bottle and a cloth.

“You’re sick.” He speaks.

“Oh, am I? Huh - didn’t notice.” You say, going to stand but legs giving way beneath you.

“Oh well I see the flu isn’t immune to sarcasm then – maybe they’ll put it in the next vaccine.” He grins, wrapping an arm around your waist and legs and effortlessly swooshing you up bridal style to carry you into bed.

“What are you doing? I have to get the kids to school.” You were pushed into the bed and rolled into a burrito straitjacket with your comforter.

“Oh yeah? How are you gonna do that if you can’t stand it? Gonna bring them there on a leaf with your technique?” He asks, booping your nose.

“Satoru - they’ve to be there in 45 minutes and Megumi isn’t even awake. I –” and the rest of your sentence was cut off by your lungs trying to exit your body.

Rubbing your back through your coughing fit, Satoru sends off several fast and probably dismissive texts.

“I’ll handle it, gotta get you better sweetheart! I’m playing sexy Dr Gojo today.” He laughs, tucking you in, and for once, you don’t have the energy to argue. That’s how he knows you’re ill.

You’re asleep before he even leaves the room.

Wandering languidly into the kitchen he sees Tsumiki, now 9 years old, walking in with a smile on her face, always a morning person – unlike anyone else in the house.

Next come Megumi, a very mature 7, who stumbles in with his frog pyjamas looking like they might be on backwards and his face lost in a tangle of hair.

“Where’s Y/N?” He says, eyeing Satoru. That’s when Satoru realised, he doesn’t know how weekday mornings go in his own house because he always leaves for a quick morning exorcism before he has to start class at 9 am at the high school. He’d been a teacher since about a year you both left high school, but he still took on the biggest share of missions (gotta flex those strongest skills).

“She’s sick, bud. So today! You have me! Woohoo!” They both immediately ask if you are okay, and Tsumiki starts to fuss about doctors and medicine.

“She’s okay guys - it’s just the flu, Yaga had it last week, so she probably picked it up at school. Now – who wants breakfast?” He asks, wrapping your flowery pink apron with bows and frills around his slim waist.

The kids glance warily at each other – Satoru was many things, but a chef wasn’t one of them. He winds up attempting to make bacon and eggs, but the eggs are so salty, and the bacon so burned that even Tsumiki ever so politely pushes it across the table, not before frowning at her dramatically gagging brother.

“Okay, fruit and yoghurt it is!” Undeterred, Satoru opens the fridge and grabs a cherry yoghurt for Tsumiki and a mango one for Megumi – their respective favourite flavours. After that he sends both kids off to get dressed and packs what he thinks will make an AWESOME lunch. They won’t be as fun as yours, as you’d become obsessed with making the coolest lunchboxes for all four of you after finding a woman on TikTok doing the same – you loved making the veggies into silly shapes. You and Satoru were eating lunch together at school one day, and as you made sure there was nobody else around you opened both your lunchboxes and he cackled laughing at the fact that in the two adults boxes, there were carrots and tomatoes stuck together with toothpicks to look like penises. God, he loved you. They each get two jam sandwiches, white bread for Megumi and brown for Tsumiki (he’s getting pretty pleased at how much he’s remembering) then some veggie sticks for both because, as you put it,

“As much as we’d all love to exist solely on sugar ‘Toru, the kids especially need fruit and veggies. But yeah, we can have cake for dinner.”

Then a filled-up water bottle for both and a candy bar in each too. He then remembers the little funny notes you pack into all four lunchboxes; he finds the pen and paper and writes two little notes, remembering how you never do very emotional ones for Megumi because they make him uncomfortable, but Tsumiki loves manifestation notes.

On Megumi’s, he draws a frog with crazy spikey hair and a scowl and on Tsumiki’s he writes ‘I’m a kick-ass kid with really cool braid my awesome dad did.’

He puts the boxes in their backpacks and then ushers Tsumiki to your and hers matching ‘get ready’ tables and puts on a YouTube tutorial of French braids and if he says so himself, absolutely nails them. Tsumiki squeals in delight seeing the elaborate decorations of sparkling clips he added and then hugs him and runs to put on her shoes. Satoru then turns to Megumi.

“We gotta do something about that bird's nest kid. How about hair like mine?” He says, fully expecting to be shot down with a blunt insult.

To his utter shock, the kid shrugs, and if Megumi had been facing Satoru, the older man would have seen a spark of excitement in the kid’s eyes. He runs a comb and his hands through his jet-black spikes and then adds some sculpting balm to keep it secure and there is then ying and yang of white and black hairstyles in the hallway mirror.

“Looking almost as handsome as me kid – go break some 8 year old hearts.” Satoru winks at him.

Megumi – inside – is really happy with how his hair looks. He knows Satoru is handsome and his mom is always complimenting him on his ‘pretty snowflake hair’, plus, he’d never tell anyone – but Satoru can be kinda cool. Wouldn’t be the worst thing to look kinda like him, so he turns away from the mirror with a tiny smile.

Loading the kids into the back of his Aston Martin V12, patting your 1956 Cadillac eldorado (baby pink, a 21st birthday gift from Satoru - you’d been saying it was your dream car since you met at 16)

“You get a rest today, old girl.” That car was your pride and joy.

He manages to get them to school with 5 minutes to spare and he is very proud of himself.

On the way home, he pulls into the store and grabs any and all medication he can find. One of each? Do you need painkillers? Cough syrup – get that. Anti- nausea pills? You had a fever that morning – oh my god, is it serious? Do you need the hospital? The sudden memory of a 6 year old Megumi with a fever and you fretting saying that if it got higher you’d have to bring him to hospital. He didn’t even check your temperature, oh my god he’s the worst boyfriend ever. Can fevers get so high they burn you? He should get burn cream. He had been so focused on getting the kids to school so you wouldn’t stress yourself out that he hadn’t had time to think yet. What did you do when the kids were sick? He was usually panicking when they were sick and you – ever practical and motherly, had asked Shoko for advice. Think, Satoru, think. Ice cream.

You’d given the kids ice cream.

The kids.

Wait, were you pregnant?!

Oh god. You were vomiting in the MORNING.

A baby? You two were 21 – and already had 2 kids. But oh – a tiny mix of you and him? He hoped it would have your cute nose.

Hang on – no, you had an IWD. No, IUD? Yeah, IUD. You weren’t pregnant.

Ice cream.

He needed ice cream and he got your favourite peach iced tea and decided to pick up your favourite boba on the way home.

He opened the door and immediately heard coughing, he ran through the house reaching your bedroom and then flung himself onto the bed beside you.

“‘Toru? Why aren’t you at work?” You ask, voice hoarse and raw.

“How can I leave the sick bed of my little wife? You might need the hospital – or water, or kisses. I need to check your fever and make sure you’re not dying.” He frets around you adjusting cushions and blankets.

You can’t help but giggle at his panicked face.

“Baby, first off – you haven’t put a ring on it yet. Next, I’m okay, I have the flu. A day or two in bed with some paracetamol and I’ll be fine. You can chill out, I’m worried about making you sick though.”

You frown at him.

“You are not a doctor! You don’t know this! What if you fever gets higher? What if you vomit your insides up? What if you cough so much you can’t breath? I have my infinity, I can’t get sick!”His words are coming a mile a minute.

“SATORU!” You grab his face in your hands.

Wide icey blue eyes stare back at you.

“I called Shoko when you were out, it’s the flu. I’m okay. You can calm down, now pass me the iced tea and medicine and get into bed with me and watch a film.” Feeling safe to kiss him, you plant a kiss on his forehead – heart swollen by the sheer amount of care and love emanating from him. You were so fucking loved and it felt amazing, especially since you also loved him with every fibre of your being, you’d burn the world for him.

He does as you ask and snuggles in beside you.

He curls you onto his chest, stroking your scalp to ease the headache and you hum at the relief.

“Just having you here makes me feel a million times better already, ‘toru. Thank you. I love you.” You whisper into his T-shirt, a soft smile dancing on your flushed face.

“I love you too, princess. Always. I just wish I could hollow purple the flu for making my babygirl feel shitty.”

At this you let out a loud laugh and reach for the bag of medicine from the pharmacy.

“I know you would ‘toru. And I’d do the same for you.”

He leans to grab the remote to switch on your tv and load up Jurassic Park, your comfort film.

“‘Toru, why did you get me burn cream?”

[simplydannie]

Velvet & Veneer Fanfic

I Couldn’t Save You

Prelude Here

An infection story I did a while ago! This is an AU I plan on doing, so this story is a separate timeline.

An outbreak of some sort has happened as we saw in the prelude. Those at the detention were separated. Floyd is on a mission to not only find Branch who mysteriously disappeared… but to also make sure if a set of siblings are unharmed.

After a perilous journey, the Trolls had finally made it to Mount Rageous again…. Except this time…. It was in ruin.

Buildings in smoke, roofs caved in….. the infection had made its way to the dazzling city of lights. Knowing that Mount Rageous was populated by teens, the Trolls only hoped they were able to make it home with their families before….well…. They couldn’t even finish the thought.

“Why are we here again…” John Dory asked as he looked at the ruined city with a distraught look.

“… Trying to find Branch.” Floyd said. JD looked at his brother.

“And…” He waited for Floyd’s continued answer.

“…. To see if the twins are alright….”Floyd finished.

Crimp told them that Mount Rageous itself had no detention center. That was located further into Rageous… and that’s where they traveled.

The air was eerie. What was once a lively bustling city filled with youngsters… was now silent, and dead. As they traveled they didn’t pass a single soul, not one Rageoun in sight. How things could change in one year.

“You think they all made it out in time?” JD asked.

“Hopefully. Or maybe isolating themselves…” Floyd responded. As they continued they saw the rest of Rageous for the first time. If it wasn’t for the ruin and smoke… it would have been dazzling: buildings made of precious gems and stones. Floyd would have liked to learn more about the Rageouns if it was under better circumstances.

After what felt like hours, the made it: RAGEOUS DETENTION CENTER FOR TROUBLED YOUTH. Or in Veneers words, prison.

It seemed abandoned and empty…. At least the brothers hoped it was.

“Ready?” Floyd asked. John Dory took a deep breath.

“Let’s go.”

Broken glass and shattered material layed inside the detention center…. But no soul in sight. They checked behind every door, inside every room…empty.

“Okay. This is good. They evacuated, they made it out.” John Dory said.

“Yes.” Hope began filling in Floyds heart for a moment, ��But Branch…”

“Maybe it’s better if we didn’t find him…means he’s safe….” JD replied. They were cut off by a sudden sound down within the hall.

They cautiously walked over to a cell….

“Oh man…it’s a kid.” JD said. Both being older, when they meant kid, it was a teen… an infected teen.

Floyd couldn’t make out the face of the young Rageoun…All he could hear were eerie hymns coming from the Rageon’s mouth, rocking back and forth, small burst of cynical giggles. Floyd felt bad.

“…..They’re not immune….” Floyd began to say before he was interrupted by a familiar voice.

“Floyd?” He heard a female voice call out to him from behind. He turned to see Velvet’s familiar face.

“Velvet? You’re still here? Why? How?” Floyd walked up to the tempered glass cell.

“Me? Why the heck are you here?” She asked. She didn’t seem at all bothered by what was going on around her, by the infected Rageoun right across from her.

“Obvisouly now, here to get you out now! JD let’s get this open….” Floyd began to say.

“NO! No. Don’t. I am not going out there.” Velvet made her way and leaned herself against a wall. Crouched, hugging her legs….She looked a little different… thinner paler. “I’ve scavenged enough supplies…for now.”

“Vels, we got to get you and your brother out. The city is abandoned…we need to get you somewhere safe…” JD began to say.

“I know what’s out there. I was here when all the panic started…but I am not going anywhere.” She said without looking at them. “….I have what I need here…”

“Where’s Veneer? Maybe we can convince him? I know he wants you safe.” Floyd said. Upon the mention of her brothers name, she looked at Floyd with a sad look in her eyes. He could see her eyes begin to fill with tears. Without a word, she glanced at the cell across from her…..at the cell where the infected Rageoun was…..oh no….

Floyd made his way to the cell.

“Floyd no.” Velvet warned. Floyd ignored her warning…He crept closer and closer until he could make out the features of the Rageoun….The porcelain pale skin, the green swooped up hair…

“….Veneer…” He said. At that moment Veneer turned his head and made his way in attempts to grab Floyd. But he forgot about the glass cell. Veneer ran straight into it…it didn’t phase him one bit…Floyd saw the yellow in his eyes, the dark circles under them…He was thinner, and paler, bruise-like spots all around his skin. He didn’t speak, only mumbled and gurgled. He attempted to grab Floyd through the glass..but no success…The thing that stood in front of them… it wasn’t Veneer anymore. John Dory looked at Velvet.

“How long?” He asked. Velvet hesitated to answer.

“…He just got like this about 1 month ago…” Velvet stared at the ground. She spent the entire time here in the cell waiting for the infection to slowly take it’s toll on Veneer.

“Velvet…I’m sorry about your brother…but…we can still save you. Come with us. Maybe we can find a cure, save him before he gets worse…” Floyd was saying.

“STOP IT! No..im not going anywhere. I’m not going to leave him alone…We’ve been inseparable since…forever….” She looked at the creature that was once her brother. He crouched down rocking back and forth, humming some sort of tune. “Me and him are gonna go through his together too.” She pulled up her sleeve….a bite mark.

“No, Velvet!” John Dory exclaimed.

“I don’t know how it works. Veneer just got sick out of nowhere and now look….I was desperate…I just didn’t know what to do…So…I went to his cell and….” Velvet pulled down her sleeve. “I just don’t want to continue life alone…without my brother…”

Moments of silence passed between them….Veneer was long gone, and Velvet would be well on her way….Floyd couldn’t save them…They were just kids….He tried to find something he could say to her…something that would convince her to leave even if she was infected…They could still find a cure.

“Your brother was here…two months ago…before Veneer lost it.” Velvet said. The Trolls ears perked up. “He…he tried to get us out…But Veneer knew he was already infected…He didn’t go anywhere…neither did I…”

“Where was he going? What is he doing?” Floyd asked. Velvet stared off into the distance…a lost look in her eyes…she blinked and looked at the Trolls…

“Floyd? What are you doing here?” She asked. Tears began streaming down Floyds face….her memory was already leaving her….she’d soon be gone too.

“I’m so sorry….We couldn’t save both of you.” He cried.

[justwearthegoddamncardigan]

All in two days - Part 4

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | full masterlist on pinned post

Newt x gender neutral!reader

Set a few days after Part 3, with the group settled in the Safe Haven already

Warnings: nightmares, language (Glader slang and normal swearing)

"So, new kid." Brenda sits beside you from where you're stretched out on a blanket on the beach. "Thoughts on the fight?"

"Kid? You know, we're probably the same age. I might even be older than you." You shoot her a grin.

She laughs. "All of you Maze people seem younger though. Different world experience. Oh, wait. You weren't there right?"

"Yep, lived in the Scorch just like you."

"Ah, I remember you now. You're the one Newt was all crazy about."

You control your expression, shoving down the fluttering in your stomach. "What do you mean?"

"He kept insisting that we go back for someone in the Scorch, after we found the Right Arm."

She snorts, "Was almost ready to throw hands when Jorge said there was no point going back for one person."

"Oh," you look down and self-consciously brush some sand off your legs.

Brenda looks at you suspiciously. "What, you guys dating or something?"

You shake your head. "Nah, it's not like that. He doesn't- We're not together."

"Oh. Well it's not my business, but it seemed like he..." she shrugs.

"Anyway," says Brenda. "Are you in for the fight?"

Lately, the Right Arm has been planning missions to rescue the other children WCKD still has.

Even though Lawrence's rebels attacked the Last City, WCKD is still standing, and they've continued shipping Immunes around for their research. Ava Paige and Janson are still alive too.

Because of all that, the Right Arm has been recruiting people from the Safe Haven who want to fight and help with the mission.

"You know," says Brenda. "You're all allowed to opt out on this one. You've already been through a lot, and it's more than reasonable for you to stay here."

You sigh deeply. "Yeah, we know." You turn your gaze to her. "But we're all in."

"Really?"

"Yeah. None of us have ever really been able to back away from a fight; especially Thomas."

"Although," you add, "My sister is definitely staying here. No way in hell am I sending Elle into a fight."

Brenda nods, smiling. "Well then, come join the meetings when you're ready."

⭒----⭒

You're having dinner one day when someone brings it up again.

"Hey," says Thomas casually. "How're things with you and Newt?"

You put down your fork and give him a look.

"I'm just asking," he protests.

You turn to Teresa for support, but she shrugs apologetically. "I kinda want to hear it too," she admits.

There's no one else at the table to stop this conversation, and you roll your eyes. "Why do people keep asking that?" you say exasperatedly.

"It's just- we all know you two had a thing," says Thomas. "But now you're just both flirty and sad at the same time, and someone has to do something about it."

You frown. "We're not flirty and sad."

"You are." Teresa leans forward. "You're both so in love it's borderline exhausting, but you're also so stubborn and no one has made a single move yet."

"I literally saw the two of you cuddling on the beach the other day. But you still insist on not getting together." adds Thomas.

"Y/n, we're just trying help you. As your friends, we know you'd be so much happier being with Newt for real."

You look down, tapping the table absentmindedly.

"You can't honestly say you don't like him," prods Thomas.

You sigh. "I do," you admit.

At Thomas and Teresa's expressions, you hastily add, "But it's not like that. He doesn't feel that way about me. Not anymore, I mean."

"So, you're saying that, if he was in love with you, you would definitely be together."

"Of course," you say. "But it doesn't matter. I just want him to be happy, and being friends is what he wants."

"God, you're made for each other," says Teresa, looking at you fondly. "That's exactly what-"

You shake your head. "Can we change the topic?"

Thomas sighs. "Okay. He's coming over here anyway."

You turn to say Newt, Minho, and Frypan walking over to your table.

As Frypan sits on your left, Minho pushes smoothly in front of Newt to sit on your right.

Newt stops and blinks. In that moment of hesitation, Minho sends him a shark's grin. "Oh, sorry, did you wanna sit here? I can move."

"I- uh... No, it's fine. It's..." he trails off and moves to the other side with Thomas and Teresa, sitting diagonally across from you.

You shut your eyes and massage your temples as Minho turns his smirk to you.

You know your friends mean well, and are just having fun, but this is getting to be a bit much.

You stand abruptly and leave the table, depositing your plate and cutlery at the wash station.

Later, you're walking past the area again, with Newt and Minho on wash station duty.

You don't mean to eavesdrop, but you hear their conversation on the way past.

"Minho, you can't just do that mate. Did you see how embarrassed they were?"

"Relax, they were fine. Maybe a little pissed, but-"

You walk up to them. "Hey."

They stop talking immediately, Newt flushing red as he looks up from the dishes.

"Y/n, hi."

You lean on the counter casually. "What're you guys talking about?"

As Newt fumbles for words, Minho slides in with "The weather. It's real nice today isn't it?"

"Beautiful," you agree, raising your eyebrows.

"Well, we better be getting back to these dishes," says Minho, holding up a soapy plate.

You nod. "Right, bye then. Bye Newt."

"B-" he clears his throat. "Bye Y/n."

⭒----⭒

You're lying awake again, your hut feeling small and confining. Elle's in the next room, sleeping soundly.

It's safe and comforting, but it also brings you back to the Scorch, when it was just the two of you. You can't shake the loneliness.

You think about the night you and Newt had gone out and sat together in the sand, talking and alternating between the heavy topics and light conversation.

You get up out of bed and leave the hut quietly, shutting the door softly so you don't wake your sister.

Looking out at the beach, you can see two figures huddled close together. You can also see a lone person sitting on the tall branch of a tree, staring out into the ocean, and another three people walking in the shallows with their hands linked.

You suppose that with so many of these people coming from WCKD, there would be a lot of uneasy sleepers.

Maybe if you walk around for a bit, you'll find Newt awake sitting somewhere.

You wander around the Safe Haven, your path lit by dying torches and moonlight.

You see more people awake as you walk around, with one girl sitting in front of her hut holding a mug in her hands, and two boys sitting together at the dining tables. There's another pair lying in the grass field, their hands raised as they point at constellations in the sky.

"Y/n."

You turn. "Teresa, hey." Not who you were looking for, but someone to talk to.

"Couldn't sleep?" she asks.

You shake your head in response, and she waves you over to where she's sitting in the empty kitchen.

"Late night snack?" she offers jokily, smiling softly.

You grin back. "So, what's keeping you up?"

Her smile fades, and you wait patiently for her to speak.

She takes a breath. "WCKD did something to me, way back before we escaped and met you. They unlocked some of my memories, and I started seeing my childhood again." She stares off into the distance, lost in her memories.

"My mother... she got the Flare. It was horrible. And I was just a kid." You can hear her voice wavering.

"Teresa..." you reach out and take her hand.

"Actually, I kinda wanted to tell you about this. I understood why you... you know."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, for your sister. The circumstances are a little different, but for me... I would've done anything to save my mother. If that meant giving up my friends to find a cure, I would've done it."

"I just," she continues. "I'm trying to say I get it."

"Thank you for understanding," you whisper, squeezing her hand.

"But then, when we were the ones to experience it, the simulations they put us through to get what they wanted... I've got half a mind to give up on finding a cure. Just let Immunes have children and pass the gene on."

Your heart hurts at her cynical, hopeless tone. "Maybe we can do it. You're a genius, T. You and Thomas could find a way to do it without harming people."

She nods gratefully, her smile returning.

"Yeah, thanks. So what's your thing tonight?"

⭒----⭒

You end up having a lot of late night conversations with Teresa. You learn about the visions WCKD forced her to see, and how she still has nightmares about them.

It's not always Teresa though. You're glad when you don't see her, because that means she's slept better.

You see Minho out there too. Sometimes you get to talking with him, but the two of you usually just sit or take night time walks in comfortable silence, drawing comfort from each other.

Aris and Frypan are rarities to see; they’re probably the type of people who don't dream at night. Just fall asleep and wake up the next morning. Lucky bastards.

You see Thomas on occasion, and you usually plan missions or talk about everything you’ve been through.

With him, there have been many a “fuck you WCKD!” screamed into the ocean. Sometimes other people join in too. It’s a good way to make friends.

Although, you do owe your sister’s life to WCKD, so you probably can’t say they’re all bad.

You’re on the way out again when you hear noises from a hut nearby. Your group occupies a cluster of huts together, and one of them has an open window tonight.

It’s Newt’s, you realise as you walk up to the hut. As you get closer, you can hear little whispers of “no” and quick breathing. He’s having a nightmare.

You hesitate for a bit, then climb in through his window.

“Newt.” You grab his shoulders and shake him. “Wake up. Wake up.”

You panic as his cries grow more distressed. “Newt!”

He finally opens his eyes, launching up and flinching away, blanket scrunched in his hands as he backs up against the wall.

As moonlight streams in, you can see the sheen of sweat on his face, and you can still hear him panting.

You stay crouched on the ground beside the bed, not wanting to startle him.

Suddenly, he starts to yell again. “Y/n!” He looks around, gaze turning wildly. “Y/n!”

“Newt! Newt, I’m here.” You move up onto the bed, perched on your knees as you grip his wrists.

“Y/n?”

“Yeah, I’m here” you say, giving him a smile. “It’s okay. Just a nightmare, wasn’t real.”

He deflates, exhaling shakily. “That’s good, just breathe,” you say.

“Can you…” he gestures vaguely.

You nod, and pull him closer so he’s resting flush against your body, face pressed into your shoulder.

You card your fingers through his hair gently, whispering soft comforting words.

“I keep seeing them,” he says with a scratchy voice. You don’t know how long you’ve been sitting there without speaking, until he starts.

“I keep seeing the visions WCKD showed me in the simulation.”

“I’m sorry,” you whisper.

“It’s not-”

“I know, I’m just sorry you’re still going through that. You can tell me, if it’ll help. Maybe get it off your chest.”

He closes his eyes. “They showed me the Maze, made me run until my stupid leg gave out, and the Grievers got me.

“I’ve watched Minho, Alby, and Thomas getting crushed by the Maze doors when they didn't make it back in time.

"And I saw you. My mind made up a vision where WCKD got you too. They were torturing you, making you tell them where we were. That’s what I was dreaming off tonight.” He ends with a raspy voice.

“Newt…” You can’t think of words to express the sorrow and pain you feel for him. “I’m okay, I promise. You never have to worry about that.”

You fall asleep soon, holding each other in his bed.

You still don’t sleep as much as you should, and you wake up before sunrise, but it’s better.

“Hey, do you want to go for a walk?” You offer.

“Yeah, that’d be nice.”

You pick your jacket up off the floor, where you dropped it last night.

As you start to pull it on, he stops you. “Wait.”

You follow his gaze to the leather wrapped around your upper arm. “Is that my…”

“Oh, yeah,” you say. “I, uh- I’ve worn it every day, actually. You know, just as a… reminder, or something.”

“Huh.” His expression is unreadable.

You don’t speak again until you get to the beach.

“Y/n.”

You turn to Newt. “Yeah?”

There’s a pause. “You know I trust you, right?”

You’re caught off guard. “What?”

“I trust you,” he repeats. “Listen, when I tell you about nightmares and all, it’s because I trust you with that stuff.

“I’m not bringing it up to tell you that what happened was your fault. You got that? I’m just tellin' you cause I trust you.”

You smile at him. “Yeah, thanks.”

“I’m serious, Y/n. Everything is… it’s all okay. There’s nothing left to forgive.”

“I feel like you have another point.”

“I just mean, don’t hold yourself back because you think I don’t trust you, or cause you think you don’t deserve to get closer.”

You furrow your eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“Get closer,” he says, turning to look you straight in the eyes. “I- I want you to get closer. I don’t need this shield you put up, especially since you’re putting it up for my sake. I miss you. I miss you from before.”

“Look Y/n,” he continues. “We fixed things, mostly. But even though it’s fixed, there’s still one thing between us, and it’s that invisible barrier you keep up. There’s a line you think you can’t cross, but I’m telling you it’s gone. You don’t need that line.”

“Jeez Newt, that was like five metaphors in one sentence,” you put on a casual grin and give a short laugh.

“Y/n.” He physically moves in front of you this time, and you stop walking.

You rake a hand through your hair. “I don’t know what you want from me, Newt,” you say quietly.

He cups your cheek gently. “I want you to stop holding back. Let this happen.”

You look up into his eyes.

“Tell me if I’m wrong,” he says, voice lowering, and you feel his nose brush against yours.

You close your eyes automatically as he presses a soft kiss on your lips.

Your eyes flutter open as he slowly pulls back, running a thumb over your bottom lip.

“So was I wrong?” he asks huskily.

You force yourself away. “You just had a nightmare about me. You could just be-”

“Was I wrong?” He interrupts.

You huff out a laugh and loop your arms around his waist. “You weren’t wrong.”

He kisses you again, and this time you respond, tugging him as close as possible and kissing back.

You break away with a breathless laugh, pressing your forehead against his. “I’ve wanted this forever,” you tell him.

“I know,” he says, grinning. “Me too.”

You decide to take the leap. “I love you,” you say.

You’re only halfway through the ‘you’ when he crashes his lips into yours, everything colliding as arms wrap around bodies and hands thread through hair.

“I love you too.”

⭒----⭒

Breakfast that day is a fun ordeal.

Minho takes one look at the smiles on both your faces and knows instantly.

The rest catch on after Minho starts yelling and pointing.

The ‘we’re so happy for you’ phase quickly gives way to relentless teasing, but you go through it with your hand linked with Newt’s, so it’s a pretty good time in the end.

Ahhhhhh that’s it. That’s the end of this one request that was meant to be a nice two-parter at most and ended up being this.

Thank you to everyone who read and/or interacted with this!! As a new writer I’m honestly so grateful for my 4 person squad of people who like each fic ❤️❤️

There’s more on the way, I’ll see you on the next fic!

[runner5anna]

Christmas Cactus

Heyo @kodessa ! I am your ZR secret Santa. Here is a festive fic for you.

Thank you @notforconsumption and @delucadarling for organising this !

It's Christmas day in Able township. It's icey, it's cold, it's not very festive. But, Sam is quite determined to at least make something warm out of the bad day.

There is no spoilers, its SFW but there is discussions of grief and cussing. Also cringe pick up lines.

"Shit!" Bellowed Sam, along with a cacophony of clattering coming from downstairs. Five sucked a lungful of cold air in, kicking the many layers of blankets off of her, grabbed the knife from under the bedside table and ran downstairs. She shoved open the door, shouting “who the hell is there?” and slashing at the air. Her chest heaved with adrenaline and fatigue. The cold air pressed on her bare feet, and her pyjama trousers were halfway up her legs. 

‘Uh - just me?” Answered Sam. He was hunched over the side, which was covered in cocoa powder and parts of a mug. The forest green hoodie he wore to bed was covered in water. “Wait - is that another knife, 5? I thought we talked about this. You don’t need to keep knives under the bed side table.” 

5 grinned and placed it down on the side. “I don’t know what you mean.” She slid it into the drawer, intending to pick it up later. “Need a hand?”

“No - I think I’m ok.” he sighed. He picked up his foot, inspecting it closely. “I stubbed my toe and dropped the pink mug. I found the cocoa powder at the bottom of the drawer in the comms shack. Happy Christmas, I guess?” he sighed, dusted the reminisce of the brown powder off the base of his foot, and placed it down - deciding that it wasn’t broken, just sore. “I wanted to surprise you.” 

“Oh shit - that day already?” 5 ran her hands up her face, pressing her palms into her eyes. She really needed a shower. Her face felt slick with sweat and grime from the night. Maybe she’d treat herself later to a lukewarm one. 

“Yeah. Snuck up on me too. I looked at the clock on the computer last night and it was the 24th! I wanted to surprise you with some hot cocoa but I pigged that one up pretty badly.” He sniffled, and the tears welled like little gems in the corner of his large brown eyes.  

“Oh - bless your heart, Sammy. You’re too kind for this world.” 5 opened her arms, inviting him in for a hug. He placed his bristled chin on her head and sighed, relaxing into her touch. “You didn’t have to do that for me.” 

“I know. I’m the best.” He grinned. “But - I wanted to. So I did.” He pulled away from 5 and picked up the brush from the side. “I need to clean up. Snow isn’t brown. Unless it's mixed with mud. Or zombie parts. But I suppose I’d quite like chocolate snow.” 

“How’s about I make us hot chocolate with what we have left over? And we can do…” Five pressed her tongue against her teeth in thought. “...festive things.” 

“What can we do? Really?” 

5 lent down to scoop up some more powder back into the pot. If she grabbed a collider, she could at least filter out some of the dust. It was salvageable at least - and there wasn’t much of this stuff left in the world so they should at least treasure it. Somewhat disgusting, yes, but it was the apocalypse. If you could be disgusting, it was now. It would be good for her immune system development, her mother would say. “I’m not actually sure. It’s not like we have a big dinner we can make or gifts.”

“Janine has given us the day off - for those that want it.” 

“I might head out eventually, then.” 

Sam slowly turned around, and pleaded. “Please don’t. It’s -6. It’s freezing. The ground is solid. You’ll slip. Plus it’s Christmas. Let’s just have a day together - It’s been too long.” 

5 pulled a hair from the powder. It was short, brown and blunt - one of Janine’s. Her hair managed to get everywhere. It was a nice reminder that she was there somewhere - a dependable figure even in the hardest of times. “I don’t know what we can do, really.” she tutted. “We don’t even have a tree.” 

Sam gave a little gasp, and quickly shuffled over to the window where he held up Cedrick the Cactus. He was a medium sized fluffy plant - whose fuzz were actually tiny spines which Sam found out rather painfully. 5 wasn’t quite sure why she grabbed it off of the shelf, but she didn’t regret it. He kept 5 and Sam entertained, and it gave them something to talk about outside of the insanity of work, how tired they were and whoever had died recently. 

“Let’s decorate Cedrick!” 

“Won’t I be pulling spines out of your hand for the next week again?” 

“No.” He pouted. “Get your crochet, I’ll get a pen and paper. Let’s make some Christmas clothes for him. It will be fun!” 

5 felt her belly rise with giggles that Sam could only bring from her. He was a ray of sunshine - everything good in the world. When 5 was with Sam, she felt like the best version of herself, like the world was lighter and the breeze was fresher. Her heart fluttered and her cheeks began to flush with how much she realised she was smiling. 

“Let me go get dressed and I’ll be with you.” 

“Ah ah ah!” Sam grabbed her hand, gently pulling her back and wrapping his arms around her waist. “Absolutely not. No one gets dressed before midday on Christmas.” 

“If you say so. But I need a shower later. I’ll get dressed then.” 

“I’ll give you one of my shower tokens. My treat.” 

“Don’t you need them?” 

“Nah. I’m clean enough. And I don’t go running multiple times a week. They’re upstairs, I think in my jeans pocket.”

“My crochet is upstairs as well - I’ll grab them on the way. And who knows. If I’m feeling generous later I’ll let you share the shower later.” 5 purred as she slunk out of the room, leaving Sam blushing a deep shade of beetroot red. 

*

5 plodded down the stairs, still in their faded plaid pyjamas as promised, crochet hooks and wool in hand. She turned into the kitchen to see Sam was doodling, colouring and shading. He held the paper happily up - on it was a bundle of red berries and green leaves. “Mistletoe!” he announced proudly. “You know what that means?” 

“No.” Five teased, leaning across the table. She softly held his gaze. Usually, Sam’s eyes darted everywhere, like he was avoiding eye contact with everyone while gaining as much information around him as possible. In moments like this, his eyes - beautiful pools of watercolour brown - held steady and calm. 

“It means you-” he poked 5 on the nose with the paper. “-have to give me a kiss.” 

“Ugh. If you insist.” 5 joked. She placed her hand on the base of Sam’s neck, pulling him across the table and into a kiss. It was deep and long, as the two relaxed into each other. 5 inhaled a smell she’d grown to love so much of marmite, washing powder and ink. Before he pulled away, Sam nuzzled their noses together, grinning from ear to ear. 

“Thank you.” He whispered.

“You’re welcome.” 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Five sat down, pulling up a chair and setting her crochet on the table. “What do you think I should make?” 

“A little scarf, or a hat maybe. I think a tiny scarf will be easier. If your hand starts to hurt you can help me with the decorations.” 

“All right.” Five started with a quick slip not, starting to make the first chain. “I always feel a little startled when I need to relax. I’m always so on edge that when I set time aside to be quiet and have time to myself I’m always waiting for the proverbial hat to drop.” 

Sam hummed in agreement. “It is hard to relax now isn’t it? With the grey wandering outside the walls and regularly staring death in the ugly maw.” He finished colouring in a little robbin and began to cut around it with the scissors. 

“I thought you were banned from using scissors by Maxine after the great finger slice event.” 

“For your information, that ban was temporary. How was I supposed to know that Maxine had just sharpened her scissors? Who has scissors that sharp anyway?” he subconsciously ran his thumb over the scar on his finger. 

“Who uses massive scissors on such a tiny thing?” 

“Oh, be quiet!” He threw the roll of string at 5’s head. “Can I have that back please.” 

5 leaned down to grab it, and spoke while she slid it across the table. “Events always feel so odd now. And I never quite know how to feel. I’m happy I survived another year I suppose.” She finished off a row and started another. “It’s such a tiny scarf, I’ll be done soon.” 

Sam stood up and boiled the kettle. “I’m just letting the glue set - I won’t spill the hot chocolate powder. Close your mouth runner 5 I can tell exactly what you’ll tease me about.” 

“What do you mean?” She scoffed mockingly. 

“You were going to make fun of me for sticking my hand to my head with aeroplane glue.” 

“I was not.” 

“Yes you were.” 

The two went back and forth, squabbling in good spirits while Sam made the hot chocolate.  

“Oh - Sam look! Cedrick has a little flower. He's bloomed.” 

“He reminds me of you in a way. You thrive in the harshest times, and you are very pretty.” He passed a mug over to 5, giving her a gentle kiss on the head. “You’re my little pretty flower.”

“Thank you, darling.” 5 pulled the final thread through, finishing off the tiny scarf. It wasn’t great, considering she’d not spent long on the thing, and the colours didn’t quite match the decor that Sam made. “It looks so bad.” 

“What? I think it looks good. Christmas trees are not supposed to look good.” 

“Cedrick is a Christmas cactus, and we made this in about 45 minutes. It's more ironic than anything - I don’t think they’re supposed to look good. But, y’know, I like him more because we raised him together, and we decorated him as well.” Sam wrapped an arm around 5’s shoulders, squeezing them comfortingly. “I want to make another one next year. I think it would be a good tradition.”

“I think…I’d like that. Christmas is so traditional - and now for the first time in ages we can’t do all of them. I’m so used to being with everyone at Christmas that it feels almost positive to create new traditions.” 

“I don’t think Christmas will ever not be hard.” Sam mused between sips of hot chocolate and blowing on too hot marshmallows. “I cried one year because I put out 6 sets of cutlery for dinner even though It had been 2 years since my grandad died. No - three.” 

“It will be hard - but with you I feel I can handle it. Thank you, for being there for me Sam. I appreciate you.” 

“I appreciate you too, 5.” He placed his head on top of 

“I think it’s just all been a lot. Even if we are a few years into the apocalypse, Christmas will always feel different. But I am happy I can spend it with you.” 

“You know what I really want to do?” 

“What? Remember it’s not midday yet, so there's no getting dressed. It’s the Christmas law.” 

“No - I follow Christmas law. I want to cuddle and watch the Doctor Who Christmas specials in bed. Do you have them on your laptop?” 

“Do I ever! I thought you’d never ask. That is a new and old Christmas tradition I can get behind.”

[anachronistic-falsehood]

WHSIKEY. bustimg into ur inbox kicking down the door etc. im sorry u r having a bad week !!!! i hope it gets better sooner rather than later but just know it WILL get better eventually i promise . if u r feeling up to it. 🎟 << free pass 2 tell me about the qsmp youre obsessing over the most rn (i have seen . the bald guy with the scar multiple times. and the name fitpac (i think?) who is he. or just the classic catboy cannibal)

MACCCC MY BELOVED MAC MY FRIEND HELLO!!! it WILL get better i am lookin for places to live outside of this town and finding a job wherever i go can WAIT. first step is moving out!!! then FUCK IT WE BALL

@stuck-in-the-ghost-zone listen i NEED u to read this. bc OH MY GOD MAC u don't know how hilarious it is that u think fitpac is one person’s name. oh my god. the bald guy's name is FitMC and he is from 2b2t and he is an anarchist. and u know the guy who got his leg eaten by my beloved catboy???? his name is PacTW!!! and their ship name is fitpac and their characters are seen together like 90% of the time when theyre both online THEY TRULY ARE INSEPARABLE AT THIS POINT IT'S INSANE!!! the ccs are super fun to watch and the characters are so silly and i love them :3 qfit is on a mission to collect player data on the island and send it to his contractor back in 2b2t but he got distracted by Being Gay with pac and they've had this slowburn romance going on like since july i think?? i started watching in august so idk everything but they have been flirting for a long time, and considering cellbit got married to roier like two months after they met, fitpac feels like the slowest of slowburns EVER. WE ARE SUFFERING!!! BUTTTTT qfit recently said that he was going to TALK TO PAC ABOUT HIS FEELINGS next time pac is online and we are ECSTATIC mac!!! qfit's son is personally pouring gasoline on the slowburn. ramon number one fitpac wingman. the slowburn is a bonfire now. we are moving forward. hoping for a spring wedding!!!

fit's solo lore is really fucking cool too though, like his whole thing with his contractor from 2b, and he's immune to this kind of dark matter infection that's been spreading across the island and we don't know how, and HE'S SO INTERESTING I WANNA SQUISH HIM LIKE A STRESS TOY!!! he also has actively said that he doesn't care if he himself dies, but his son wants him alive so he will stay for ramon. FUCKED UP!!! also pac's lore is really cool, his history with cellbit is forever going to be my most favourite thing to think about!!! he recently saw cellbit again and cellbit called him queridinho [sweetie/darling in portuguese] and stabbed him with a machete while pac was crying and shaking like a wet rat BUT HE WAS SO BRAVE FOR BEING THERE AT ALL AND NOT RUNNING AWAY I LOVE MY SAD LITTLE MISERABLE RAT BOY <3 his platonic soulmate Mike recently woke up from a cocaine induced coma (don't ask) so i'm very excited to see them reunite :3

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

"Wait, why is Loki naked?!?!"

This is The Mighty Thor issue 359, originally published September 1985. I should preface this by saying I have absolutely zero context for this comic. It is the oldest comic, Loki-related or otherwise, that I have ever read in its entirety, so aside from any context provided by the author, I have no idea what happens before or after. My knowledge going into it is this: the cover is vaguely reminiscent of a couple pieces of fan art I've seen (that I do not have sources or screenshots of at the moment, I'm sorry): one, a slightly more harmonious sibling AU with Thor and Loki seemingly willingly kneeling at Hela's feet, and another where Hela says "Kneel before your queen," and Thor kneels at Loki's (in fem form) feet. Additionally, I know Lorelei, and I don't like her. I don't dislike her as much as I dislike her sister, but neither of them are my favorite. Finally, I skimmed this last weekend when I started getting fixated on Sigyn just to see if she was in it. While I don't think I saw her, Loki DOES NOT WHERE A SHIRT for MOST of the issue, and I am greatly distressed (hence the title). This is why I'm actually reading it. Let's get into it. (EDIT: Loki does not actually get all the way naked, but oh boy does he try to get as much skin passed the 80s censors as possible!)

If the "In the service of Loki" doesn't get vaguely homoerotic, I'm gonna be mad.

My God, these old comics have a lot of words.

I guess even macho Asgardian gods were not immune to the fads of the 80s. Those leg warmers, damn, Heimdall.

No, get Amora out of here! She's just gonna make shit worse. Let's see where this goes. Maybe Loki just wants to, I don't know, invest in the arts and institute safety regulations as king. Just a thought.

Listen, I know nothing, so a Sif/Beta Ray Bill romance that ended as suddenly as I was aware it existed comes as out of left field for me as the forty-year-old Fig Newtons ad on the next page.

AMORA! You just wanted to kiss your sister's drugged up boyfriend!!!

I cannot with this fucking bird Lorelei rides. I'm dying.

Amora, you literally just said yourself that he was under an enchantment. What is this going to do?

Uh, RUDE.

Oh, hang on. Loki doesn't even know this is happening? Is that why he's naked shirtless when he finally shows up?

Ookay. He is naked. Because he's fucking Lorelei. Now it makes sense.

Yup. Also this reaction image is so funny, I'm dying!

I am uncomfortable.

I'M SHRIEKING! Why did they reference this weird, random, old comic about a convoluted triangle of seduction where Loki is naked the whole time in Ragnarok???!!! This is the most incredible thing I've seen all week. I'm going to be thinking about this forever. Does he pull this shit with Loki often? Is this a common thing? Is this a coincidence? I don't give a shit; I'm going to tell everybody I know as if I know for a fact that this is just some strange piece of trivia about Marvel and I don't care if it's accurate or not.

"This cloak EMPTY. YEET!" --Thor, probably, if this comic was published 35 years later than it was. (Also it is important to me that you understand: She was not wearing the cloak before he did this. It was hanging up. He comes over to her, takes the cloak off the wall as he goes, then wraps it around her while he does some magical feat of ventriloquy by talking while he full-on snogs her on the mouth. And then he yeets the motherfucker out of the cloak.)

Thor, Sif is also fucking someone else. This is a goddamn soap opera. I'm gonna need to make a diagram.

Thor gets on his knees a lot in this comic. Also the service of Loki byline was a fucking lie. He's not kneeling to Loki on the cover but Lorelei. He speaks to his brother for five minutes and it's while he's threatening to smash his face in with Mjolnir.

Please excuse my god-awful handwriting or the fact that I almost misspelled Lorelei's name twice or the fact that the apostrophe in fuckin' looks like an exclamation point.

[lesbianslovebts]

I just had a very unpleasant experience while trying to take my mom out for Mother's Day. 🙃First, we visited Gramma in the hospital and brought her some gifts. Then we went for lunch. While we were waiting to be seated, a man was waiting for his wife and daughter. He wished us a happy Mother's Day. My mom said thanks and mentioned that we'd just come from wishing her mom a happy Mother's Day at the hospital. The man offered a hug, and my mom accepted. It lasted a little longer than one might expect for a stranger, but it was a kind gesture. My mom and I were seated at the hibachi grill first, and then the man, his wife, and his daughter joined us. We had a good time chatting. It was the kid's first time there, so she had a lot of fun.

Then the man started getting drunk(er). He talked nonstop, didn't make a whole lot of sense anymore, and then started taking pictures of his wife and daughter. And then us. He asked for our permission after already taking several of literally just me and my mom. He was holding his phone above his head, not looking at the screen, and repeatedly pressing the button with his thumb. He probably had several dozen of us at this point.

Then he got up, came all the way over to our end of the table, squatted by my mom, and kept babbling on about who knows what. He was whispering things that didn't make sense and breathing on my mom's food while she was trying to eat it. My mom discreetly squeezed my leg because she knew I was getting uncomfortable. His wife asked the server for the bill, and he takes out his credit card and flicked it at me as if to say he'd pick up our bill. I wasn't 100% sure that's what he intended, though, so I didn't say thanks yet so that he wouldn't feel obligated if I had indeed misunderstood.

Now, both my mom and I wore masks into the restaurant and took them off to eat. I finished my food first and put my mask back on, as I always do. However, he'd just come to sit next to me when I put it on, and that really upset him. Also, as he drunkenly scooted forward, he kneed me in the leg, which made me jump because I am autistic and don't do well with touch. That made him even more mad.

He told me that our bill was taken care of. I thanked him. My mom didn't hear him over the fan. He said it louder. I thanked him again. His wife said, "You paid for theirs, too?!" My mom clarified with me that he'd covered our bill, and I said yes. My mom did the whole, "Oh, are you sure? You didn't have to. I'm very appreciative, thank you" thing. But he was looking at me and said, "Take your mask off and say hi." I did not take my mask off and explained that I am immunocompromised. My mom confirmed I've always had a weak immune system. He asked her if I was on chemo. We said no. He asked if I had cancer. We said no, I just have a weak immune system. My mom repeated how surprised she was that he was kind enough to pay for our meal.

But at this point, he was clearly regretting it. He told me he didn't know why he did when I wouldn't take my mask off. Both my mom and his wife were trying to placate him while I stood my ground. He wanted a handshake. My mom shook his hand. He asked me if I would do an air handshake, and I did. Then he started telling me to listen to a certain frequency(?). He was saying a bunch of numbers that I'm sure are dogwhistles for something horrible. He told me to do some research, to look up Nikola Tesla. I knew for sure something was really off then. Then we was telling us not to let the Devil in, etc.

My mom reiterated our gratitude while his wife and daughter tried to usher him out, but he wouldn't move. My mom and I slipped off to the bathroom and then to my car. His wife apologized on his behalf in the parking lot when we passed her. As we got on the road, we talked about it, and I explained what some of his words meant. I'm not sure what all the numbers were about, and I don't remember them all, but that man literally paid for my meal and then told me to die because I'm not worthy of life. 🙃

Here's a lovely quote from Nikola Tesla:

[constantvariations]

V9C5

Got that post-workout bliss and a plate of pizza rolls, so I’m raring to go!

Post Ep: whoever decided the rusted knight “twist” should step on a lego every five minutes for the rest of their lives

Wait why is Ruby running? The last episode ended with the caterpillar being dropped through the floor by the cat, so are they running from the cat? Was the growth yogurt ready, and if so did they grab it ($50 on no)

“I’m so glad the four of you are still the four of you.” Is this excluding Little because they didn’t get hit with the Character Arc tm dust? (Now that I think about it, why didn’t Little have a vision? Did we just not see it or are they immune somehow?)

“You’re the one who ditched us in the first place” okay, Weiss, firstly Ruby stopped following the cat so that’s mostly on her. Secondly, why are you being antagonistic to the one creature you can’t afford to offend because it’s the one creature who can get you to the tree?

“...someone return to the Ever After.” How can you return to a place you’re already in? Is there a reprogramming center or something? If you veer too far off from your role you get reset? Reminds me of the re-educators of the Dragon Age Qun

They’re really laying on thick the whole “Everything is what it isn’t, and what it is, it wouldn’t be” (shout out to that one Shinedown song from the live action Alice in Wonderland)

All this talk of what happened to the caterpillar just sounds like a shitty mishmash of the Ship of Theseus, Schrodinger’s cat, and a reset button

So the Red King underwent the Ever Again program (I’m just gonna call it that, roll with it) and came out a kid? Was that by design or does everyone basically get reborn? Does that mean the racoon hasn’t been Agained since Alyx?

Oh they call it Ascension? How Devil May Cry of you. Also I ain’t calling it that. I like my Agained verbage

“Nose hair from a leprechaun.” I am half expecting a Rocket Racoon bit here

Straight up ditching someone you know is acting off because ~ew nose hair~ is... something else. And there goes Blake trailing after Yang’s coattails again because we! need! that! bee! bait!

This cat is far too lenient with these assholes. They just straight up jumped on his head without asking because who needs to respect people’s autonomy amiright fellas?

Goddammit bring the cat back right now I can’t stand Little’s voice and cOmEdY

Okay all the lights going out one by one is hella creepy gg

“I thought this was lost forEVER” why does Ruby sound like a highschool girl complaining about drama this deadass made me burst out laughing Also, is that the same sword from the Red Kingdom or a different one?

Okay the android is cool as shit I will admit that. The chain as hair is absolutely fantastic

Was that Summer in the axe blade? An axe is not what I would have expected of a Ruby clone. Those are hard-hitting and slow, usually used by the tanks, while Summer and Ruby’s figures suggest more agile approaches. If it were more of a hatchet size, I could see that, especially as a dual-wield

Pocket dimension blacksmith shop? Sign me the fuck up please

I think I’m going to strangle Weiss. You literally just saw her standing in the middle of the road, staring at and talking to nobody, and you fucking whine? I hope someone stabs her with her own tiara jfc

“It contains a mother’s promise” BITCH WHEN WAS THIS ESTABLISHED AND WHY WAS THAT THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF TO GIVE AWAY I’M GONNA BURN A FIRE HYDRANT

“We do not ascend” oh you mean die? That thing you said didn’t happen here? Dying? Was there even a second reading of the script or did yall just smoke with the originals?

Yes Ruby go right past the hostile creature instead of literally any other direction. Yall deserve whatever hell you make

Why is Ruby carrying everyone constantly? Their legs aint broke girl. Go be a distraction while they go for the yogurt goddamn

The giant jackrabbit’s cool ngl

Like how one scoop only grew them to doll sized but whatever was left after it was splattered grew them all to the right size

The jackrabbit’s name is Juniper. Both cute and cringe

GODDAMMIT IT HAD TO BE JAUNE

WHY

HE FELL LAST

THAT SHOULDVE BEEN YANG

FUCK YOU CRWBY

[starrystar]

Woohoo; the last one!! Transcribed:

68

Bubbly sage green background

Eventually there were no more surprises. Just grimly hanging on for the rest of the infusions.

Five more…

Four more…

Three more…

Two more…

One more…

Done

I didn’t really believe it was over, though. It didn’t seem possible.

69

Orange sherbert type of background

Five months is a long time to do anything

When the next week rolled around and I didn’t have chemo, it felt strange.

I was also exhausted.

Speech bubble: Ok, yeah, I see what they mean by “cumulative.” zzz…

All the news was great. I had scans and another MRI and they showed that Tumor-Bob had shrunk by 99%. It had all been a rousing success. 

I should have felt happier about that. 

70

Bright orange red background Don’t get me wrong, I wasn’t unhappy about it. I just kept waiting for the relief. You know, the great weight lifting.

Speech bubble: Any minute now…

But it didn’t happen. It didn’t feel like it was almost over. It didn’t feel like a thing that could be over. 

71

Oddly fleshy background, like a scar

“Maybe after surgery,” I thought. 

Surgery was scary. I had total faith in my surgeon, but this was still uncharted territory. Was I gonna have a weird boob divot? Was I gonna have edema from the lymph nodes being removed? Was I gonna die on the table from the anesthesia and a previously unknown allergy?

I’d hated chemo but at least I knew the next thing to expect.

Spoiler alert: I did not die on the table.

I woke up with a massive incision in my armpit and an ugly scar across the side of my boob. Oddly, I wasn’t that upset. If you’re gonna have cancer, might as well get an impressive-looking scar.

72

Blue alcohol ink splotches background

There was a slight disagreement about painkillers.

Dr: Lots of patient get by on just tylenol!

Speech bubble: Give me oxycontin or give me death.

Dr: um…

Speech bubble: I am not selling these on the black market. If the black market tries to take them, I will beat it to death with a chair.

They gave me more painkillers. My breast didn’t hurt at all. It was my armpit that was killing me. Armpits are like knees—they connect to everything and you don’t notice until they go bad. 

Also I had to wear a sports bra day and night for two weeks. 

Note: What is with doctors and painkillers?! Though to her credit, she was like “I am so sorry you’re in pain! Let me write a new prescription!” 

73

Light pink and frothy background

The surgeon called the next day. They got it all. I didn’t have cancer any more.

Huh.

My mom and my husband and about a thousand people on the internet were ecstatic. It was weird. I think I felt happier that they were happy than anything else. It didn’t seem terribly real to me. In the past, I’ve won major awards, and I never quite believed it at the time. It wouldn’t be until like six months later that it would sink in. Of course, by then everybody’s moved on and it feels weird to talk about it. This was not an award. 

Speech bubble: This better not be one of those delayed-action PTSD things…

Note: (Still not sure if it’s PTSD.)

74

Aqua background shot with dark veins

But then I started to feel worse. And worse… And worse…

Pretty soon I was close to bedridden. When I stood up, my legs hurt a lot. I was exhausted. Also I stopped eating almost completely, which it turns out isn’t good for your energy levels either.

Speech bubble: Is this from the chemo? (It wasn’t.) Is it the drugs? (It wasn’t.) Long covid? (It wasn’t.)

Speech bubble with a dashed outline: Is it gonna be like this forever…?

Note: That last bit was the really scary one. (It was, uh, pretty bad. Never been bedridden before. Don’t recommend it.)

75

Orange and black inky background like opaque inks dropped into water

Dr: I do not know what is wrong, but I will find out.

Speech bubble: Oh thank god.

And she did.

It turned out that one of the immunotherapy drugs I had taken months earlier taught my immune system to attack cancer cells. (Amazing stuff, really.) 

Unfortunately, in less than one percent of patients, it taught the immune system to attach other cells too. My pituitary gland was now dead in the water. The pituitary tells the adrenal glands to make cortisol. 

Note: Shout out to Doctor Pinkeye who had it sorted in two business days. Also, when I first reported my symptoms, she said “You never complain about anything. If you say something’s wrong, it is.” She’s a doctor in a million.

76

Bright green and kind of abstractly leafy background

You hear about the bad effects of high cortisol levels, but let me tell you, having none at all is much worse. Cortisol is one of those chemicals that controls about fifty different things. I would have eventually gone into shock and ended up in the ICU with acute adrenal failure. 

My doctor figured it out and had me on replacement cortisol in two days. 

Fortunately, it’s an easy fix. I would probably be getting my cortisol in pill form for the rest of my life, and I had to get a medicalert bracelet, but that was all. 

Speech bubble: Eh, still better than cancer. 

I felt better so fast that it was almost ridiculous. After that interlude, radiation was practically a non-event. I drove to the clinic five times a week for a month, got a hellacious sunburn on my underboob, and then was done. 

Note: Lack of cortisol can cause problems in about twenty different ways, including dangerous levels of potassium and blowing your electrolytes all to hell. It’s actually kinda interesting, in a “wow, look at all the fascinating ways I could keel over!” way.

Honestly, after two months of slowly crashing cortisol levels, complaining about radiation would have felt like complaining over a hangnail. It was boring and I moisturized a lot, the end.

Also there are some quite nice MedicAlert bracelets on Etsy.

77

Light purple background shot with gold

I got my prot out. It was an incredible piece of technology and I hated it so goddamn much. 

I had some follow-up appointments. Everyone agreed I was fine. There was a chance Bob might come back, but not a big chance. It’s been a few months now. My hair is growing back in. I’m slower and I need to rest a little more often, but not that much more often, I visited Australia for the first time and spent five hours wandering around the Melbourne Botanical Gardens after birds. I did a pretty intense boob tour. And…I was okay. 

It’s starting to feel like cancer is a thing that happened, not something that will always be happening. I wish I had something clever or meaningful or uplifting to say, but I don’t. Maybe there doesn’t always have to be a moral. You don’t have to come out a better and wiser person. Sometimes random shit just happens and it sucks and you go on. 

See you in hell, Bob. 

Speech bubble: Good riddance! 

Note: And here is hoping I never have to make another one of these!

The Saga of Bob: Endgame (hopefully)

This one was awhile coming. Partly I was afraid that if I posted it, the tumor would come back the next day, and partly I had some complications that took awhile to iron out. But here we are, at long last, sans Bob.

You can learn all about how I had cancer in Part One or hit the prior episode at Part Seven.

What is with doctors and painkillers?! Though to her credit, she was like “I am so sorry you’re in pain! Let me write a new prescription!”

(Still not sure if it’s PTSD.)

That last bit was the really scary one. (It was, uh, pretty bad. Never been bedridden before. Don’t recommend it.)

Shout out to Doctor Pinkeye who had it sorted in two business days. Also, when I first reported my symptoms, she said “You never complain about anything. If you say something’s wrong, it is.” She’s a doctor in a million.

Lack of cortisol can cause problems in about twenty different ways, including dangerous levels of potassium and blowing your electrolytes all to hell. It’s actually kinda interesting, in a “wow, look at all the fascinating ways I could keel over!” way.

Honestly, after two months of slowly crashing cortisol levels, complaining about radiation would have felt like complaining over a hangnail. It was boring and I moisturized a lot, the end.

Also there are some quite nice MedicAlert bracelets on Etsy.

And here is hoping I never have to make another one of these!

[sweetmusingss]

Pierre glanced down at your legs, biting his lower lip gently as he checked you out before swallowing thickly and meeting your eyes again. “Oh no, I am sorry to hear that.. You definitely don’t look like you have been sick at all. I wish I looked that good when I was sick. The last time I came back from being sick, I am pretty sure I scared a few people with how horrible I looked,” he smiled softly at you. “I hope you are feeling better now though?,” he said, his eyes bright as he stared back at you.

Oscar couldn’t even be annoyed by Charles’ presence right now, just grateful that he was as annoyed as he was to see Pierre so blatantly checking you out and flirting with you. “I don’t know.. Since when does she talk to Pierre of all people? He's your friend, doesn’t he know that she is taken?,” he asked Charles as if he would have the answers. Sure, the three of you hadn’t put a label on things but surely you all knew that the three of you were a thing. He was not down to watch some other man flirt with you. It was enough to have to share you with Charles. He wasn’t willing to share you with anyone else. “How angry will she be if we just pull her away from him?”

“My secret is make up... it really helps hide the bags.” I smile, reaching out and pushing his shoulder playfully as he says people were scared of him. “I’m sure that’s not even remotely true. I am feeling better now though... I’m sure getting drunk tonight isn’t the smartest idea, but I have a whole week to get better again before the next Grand Prix so I have faith in my immune system.” I felt bad that I was leading him on, but genuinely, if Oscar and Charles weren’t going to get it together, I would have to re-think some things... and Pierre was 3rd on my F1 list since Max and Lando were taken. I didn’t want to end things with the either of them, and I was nearly 99% sure I wasn’t going to, but it wasn’t sexy when the two men hated one another. They didn’t need to be in love, but I couldn’t help but envy Katie’s dynamic where they were just one big happy group.

Charles scoffs at Oscar’s immediate rude tone, “It’s kind of odd to tell my friends on the grid that I am seeing Renee when she is also seeing you. Not really going around screaming it from the rooftops, and I am sure you are not either.” Charles rolls his eyes, looking over at Pierre and me, hating that I was touching his damn arm. Charles shakes his head at Oscar’s words, “I don’t know... she is already mad at us. I don’t really want to make it worse by upsetting her further...” Charles didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know how to deal with this appropriately. “You go and see what is going on. She is nicer to you because you’re so sensitive. Come back to me and tell me what she says.” 

__

The next two weeks were fairly busy, barely being able to spend any time with you and Lando besides race weekends when the three of us shared a bed but even then it was hectic since you were both so busy. I spent all my weekdays in L.A though, rehearsing for tour and filming promo for my album which had just come out on Friday. It was the final race day of the season and I was full of excitement but also nerves. Lando had a horrible race the week before and even though I always wanted you to win, I was rooting for him too. I had snuck away to McLaren hospitality shortly before the race was about to begin, having told you I was going to go wish him luck. I smile the moment we locked eyes and I walk over to him, hugging him tightly and not wanting to let go. You told me I could ask Lando to be my boyfriend but I was putting it off and I wanted to wait until after the race so I didn’t distract him. I hold up my wrist to him, showing him the ‘LN4’ bracelet I was wearing. “A fan gifted it to me since we’re such good friends,” I flirt with him.

Lando smiled brightly the moment he saw you, ignoring the ‘awwwwww’ from Oscar who was sitting next to him. He wraps his arms around your waist and squeezes you close as he hugs you, burying his nose into your hair and just loving to hold you like this now. He smiles even wider when he sees your LN4 bracelet, picking up your wrist and admiring it. “Such good friends. Best friends, some would say.” Lando winks at you, chuckling happily. He didn’t often kiss you in front of anyone besides Oscar, not wanting anyone to go to the press and start spreading rumors since he didn’t want to devalue your relationship with Max. “Are you excited for the season to be over so you can properly focus on your tour? I can’t imagine flying back and forth constantly is very fun... even if it is on Jet Verstappen.” 

[lostacelonnie]

True but thats like. Part of the charm almost. All the issues. Yeah thankfully the days are lengthening again & the terrible holiday season has finally passed, which made me. So tired. Hence my response delay. Yeah they should chill but im glad that the last bit was. Easy for you? I was around my family for like. A day. & it was exhausting i can only imagine what a week takes out of you. I wish more americans were like that some guy tried to talk to me a bit at the theater yesterday when i went to see godzilla minus one & it was exhausting. Also funny story everyone at my work was so exhausted last week i said something in spanish to my co worker from el salvador & he completely did not understand because of exhaustion. Oh that pretty cool. I had to learn so that i wasn't like. Having sandwiches & ramen all the time & now im trying to find time to make my own bread so like. Slippery slope. But yeah knowing a few recipes is always a good idea. Thats always the best, having friends who are chill with quiet. Does anyone have a good school? I will believe in the process because star rail is also giving me that pain with argenti's story quest & ruan mei's swarm thing. Ah okay so antimatter legion but less controlled in a way. Oh so thats what herscherr means. How come some have like multiple herscherr forms if ive seen right? Entymology is very interesting i love it. I sure need to remember traces & such more i keep forgetting. & it shows in my multi target dps characters. Worlds worst wingwoman indeed i love her. Cant wait to get further into it & see more claire. Roguelikes are a lot of fun i enjoy them greatly. I thought they would annoy me but hades proved me wrong. Noita sounds fun ill check it out at some point. Himeko mvp of all time she better survive penacony. Whoa that's a lot of seele lore. I love her damn. Explains her a bit in star rail too. What with sea of quanta, themes of death, scythe as a weapon. Also cocolia connection. And bronya really went hard for seele damn i love her too. Are her legs being broken why she like. Uses something to hover in the game? Have any other bronya facts? Or mei? Im glad your polish post radar works so well.

it really is ADHFGLSKFKG. and god yeah FINALLY. also happy new year!!!!!! very late but still!!!!!! this was my first week back in school after the holidays [well. actually it was Two Days] but im already tired. aooougugh. but oh well! GOD. my family In General is like. Fine. i really dont mind them. but i have to stay with my grandma who is just impossible to coexist with...... luckily my mom allowed me to mostly just hang out in our room and not interact with her that much since she shares my opinion. and augh that sounds. Irritating. i enjoy being left the fuck alone. AHDKKS it really is like that........ on wednesdays we have 8 am classes with the one teacher we have that speaks Exclusively spanish so we often do a irl co op mission with the entire group if we wanna convey like literally any message to her. and oh understandable!!! im probably gonna end up the same way sjfkgj. my mom never really taught me to cook since she doesnt like to do it [which, i get it] but i personally really enjoy the process so well see how that goes. AND FOR REAL i genuinely do not believe theres such thing as a good school. or even a Normal school. also fairrrrrr i actually returned to star rail for ruan mei [<- not immune to Pretty Autistic Women] and also had trouble with the swarm boss...... actually made me update my clara build. can you believe this. but tbh i havent done argentis quest yet and im fully spoiler free so im gonna see how that goes JDJGKKSJG. and yeah!! and with multiple herrscher forms its like. usually people obtain multiple herrscher forms either in like. change in belief? approach? which lets them harness other parts of their power [or add new ones], like in the case of HoFlamescion or HoTruth; merge [HoRimestar]; or find a new external source of their power [CE HoOrigin, HoFinality]. but i dont believe its ever explained in Detail so yeah. but generally, the power of a herrscher is stored in their herrscher core, so obtaining multiple cores can give people multiple authorities [like in the case of sirin]. but as i said, typical Honkai Confusion. ETYMOLOGY IS SUPER FUN YEAH...... and for real. if manaria has 1000 fans i am one of them if manaria has 1 fan its me against the world if manaria has no fans i am dead. noita IS fun but i should warn you youre not gonna get anywhere without external guidance. i mean. Maybe you will but its gonna be frustrating as hell and near impossible. its that kind of game. but the fanbase knows that and is actually very helpful!!! solving this games secrets is a team effort. as of right now i have 63h in and 2 wins [got one today, actually! congrats, me.] but i rec it heavily. its fun. AND YES GOD YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW HI3 FANS SCARED ARE FOR HSR HIMEKO. they cant take her from us again............ AND YES SEELE. I LOVE SEELE. its actually canon she has a kind of "you are not immune to seele" aura that makes people unable to say no to her bc of just how much of a lovely person she is. and yes that is the reason bronya floats around ingame!!! AND WELL. due to the fact that bronya and mei are both a part of the Main Trio, telling you. literally Any amount of lore about them would take me way too fucking long. and im so sorry but im just mentally unable to do that. and thank you o7 polska gurom ‼‼‼‼💯💯💥🔥💥‼💯🔥💥

[winter-soldier-vibes]

You’re not going to work (Bucky x Reader)

Bucky x reader

Word count: 1612

Summary: Bucky comes back from a long mission so excited to see you. Little does he know, you have a full schedule that day. At least, you planned to. No way is he going to wait any longer. 

Warnings: no explicit anything this is mainly just fluff. The ending hints at a few things but really, Bucky just wants cuddles. 

A/N: This is just a fun one I had an idea for. One night right before I fell asleep I was like ‘Bucky would be cute begging for cuddles’ and voila. It’s a bit of a change of pace for me but I hope you enjoy it!

A/N 2 : This is my first time writing something like this so I apologize if it’s not fantastic. 

Tags: @abitgryffindorky @buckys2thicc @buckfics @thatfangirl42 @freigeistundanderes

---------------------

Bucky nearly collapsed back into his seat on the quinjet after boarding. He might have had the serum, but that didn’t mean he was immune from exhaustion and soreness. He’d be fine by tomorrow but for right now, all he can do is lean back and close his eyes.

He was fine with going on missions. It was a part of the job, and he enjoyed helping people. Beating HYDRA’s ass was also a nice plus. He was also able to plan for it: he knew when a mission would be and approximately how long it would be. He knew what to expect. 

For the most part, mission briefings were pretty accurate. Some are overestimated.

Some are gravely underestimated. 

They expected to be home later the night they left. Bucky scoffed now at the idea of that. They had been fighting for a few days, with roughly a few hours scattered throughout to regroup. He had prepared himself to not see you for 12 hours at most. 

It had been 4 days. He was exhausted, he was sore, but more painful than that, he missed you. 

He wanted nothing more than to come back to the compound, ignore all traffic laws on the way to your shared apartment, and spend the entire day with you in his arms.

He sighed contently. He couldn’t wait. So when he arrived back and saw that you were dressed for work, his heart stuttered. 

He was meant to get back Friday night. It was now Tuesday morning, and you had a day full of meetings. 

You still had your back to him as he entered. When you heard the door close, you turned around, a smile spreading wide on your face.

“You’re back!” you said excitedly, staying in your place. You were so happy to see him, but your smile faltered slightly when you saw how worn out he looked. He smiled back at you, but you could tell the mission had been brutal on him.

Still he walked toward you and moved to hug you and you stepped back. Bucky looked like you had kicked him. 

“Sorry, I just… I have work.” you said, looking down at your white blouse. 

“Too bad,” he said, pulling you in for a hug. 

“Bucky!” you exclaimed, trying to pull back. Bucky wouldn’t budge though, and you were no match for the grip of his bear hug. He held you tightly and closed his eyes, despite your squirming.

“Bucky, please, I have to go. I’m gonna be late.”

“I don’t care. I was 4 days late coming home, you can be a day late to work,” he said.

You laughed a little, trapped in his embrace. It was a nice place to be, but not when you had a meeting starting in 30 minutes. “Bucky, I want nothing more than to stay with you, but it doesn’t work that way.”

“Doesn’t it?” he asked, pulling back to look at you while still holding you tightly. “Call in, tell them you have a personal emergency.”

“And what would that emergency be?”

“You have to take care of your sick boyfriend,” he said innocently.

You bit back a smile and a laugh. “And what’s the diagnosis?”

His eyes darted away for a second before he shook his head slightly. “Irrelevant. All I know is that you’re the cure. There’s no way to tell how sick I’ll get if you leave.”

“Ah, I see,” you said, playing along with it. He was giving you his puppy eyes. The ones you never used to be able to say no to. Damn those eyes - they could kill or get you to fold to anything. You had gotten better at standing your ground though, saying “Well, I am all yours tonight, but right now, I need to go to work,” as you finally wrestled out of his embrace.

You were used to puppy eyes, but that didn’t mean you were used to his kicked-puppy eyes. 

You sighed. 106 year old ex-assassin in full tactical gear, covered in mud and a few scrapes looked like he was about to cry because you wouldn’t call in sick to give him cuddles. It was cute, and you felt bad. But at some point you had to stand your ground.

“Please?” he asked, borderline whining but he didn’t care. All he cared about was keeping you from walking out of the door.

“Bucky I -”

“Fine,” he said, dropping the puppy eyes and walking towards you. You looked at him confused. “Bucky what are you -” you yelped in surprise as he picked you up and threw you over his shoulder. “You’ve been kidnapped. Your boss can’t blame you for missing work due to being kidnapped.” 

He brought you into your shared bedroom and sat down, positioning you so you were on his lap, his arms not allowing you to move. You down at him, sighing. “You’re not going to let me go are you?”

He shook his head giving you a slight smirk. “Not a chance doll.”

You looked at him for a few seconds and shook your head smiling a little, biting your lip slightly. He leaned forward and captured your lips in a kiss, you wrapping your arms around your neck.

“I missed you,” you breathed out.

“You have no idea,” he responded before kissing you again.

You pulled back much too soon for Bucky’s liking, and stood, saying “Let me call my boss really quick, okay?”

“Nope,” he responded, pulling you back on his lap. “You’ll call her later and apologize for the delay, and that your boyfriend was violently ill and you called at the first moment you could. But right now, we are going to go shower.”

“You can shower alone, and I’ll go call her”

“No,” he pouted.

“You are an adult Bucky,” you said, laughing slightly at his ridiculousness.

“Exactly, I’m too old to be showering alone.”

“Oh my god,” you said, breaking out in giggles. “Bucky, it’s going to take me 10 seconds. I’ll be in by the time the water’s warmed up and then we can shower together, okay?”

He studied you for a moment. Then he stood up, carrying you bridal style with him back out to the main room where you had left your phone. “Call her,” he said, still holding you.

You bit back a smile at how clingy he was being. You grabbed your phone and dialed your boss’ number holding your breath as it rang. 

“Hello?”

“Hi Valerie. I’m sorry for the late notice but my boyfriend is really sick and I don’t think I’m going to be able to make it into work today.”

There was a moment of silence before your boss responded with “He got back this morning didn’t he?”

You closed your eyes for a moment, looking down. You had been worried at work yesterday because he hadn’t gotten back yet. She must have overheard “Yes.”

She sighed but on the other end she was also smiling a little. “Alright. Just be here tomorrow.”

You let out a small breath of relief. “Thank you.”

“Yep. Tell him I hope his separation anxiety improves,” she said, hanging up the phone. You tried your best not to burst out laughing. When Bucky looked at you questioningly, you shook your head. “Work joke,” you said, still trying to hide your smile. 

Bucky nodded, walking back towards the bedroom and into the attached bathroom. He set you down on the counter before turning on the water. He walked back over to you and stood between your legs, wrapping his arms behind your back. You wrapped your arms around his neck in return, and the two of you rested your foreheads against each other. 

It was a nice quiet moment of peace, before you felt the warmth of Bucky’s hands leave their spot on your back, and travel lower to your -

“Bucky,” you laughed a little, “Did you miss me, or my ass?”

“Yes,” he answered quickly. 

You laughed some more and Bucky loved it. God he missed that sound. He laughed a little with you.

“Really, I missed everything about you,” he said, pulling back to look at you. “I love your voice, your laugh, your ass,” he kissed you before adding “the amazing neck massage you’re about to give me.”

You looked up at him. “Oh really, yeah? That’s how this is gonna be?”

Bucky looked down at you innocently. “Mhm”

“I hate giving you massages”

“You love it”

“It hurts my thumbs”

“It helps my neck”

“Your muscles are too hard”

“Your hands are too soft.”

You looked up at him and smiled, laughing a little as you asked “You really want a massage?”

“Yes I very much would like one.” He said nodding enthusiastically and smiling. 

“Ok, fine.” you said, still laughing. “The hot water will help. But we should probably take our clothes off first.”

He stepped back and gave you a smirk. “Don’t have to tell me twice.”

[pippytmi]

16 + 4 + 2 (werewolf supercorp?)

It is not uncommon for Kara to wake up in a puddle of blood.

At this point she is immune to the shock that comes with it, really. She has adapted; knows all the best tricks to get stains out of her clothes, knows all the best laundromats that don’t ask any questions. Heck, she even has Alex’s ex-girlfriend on speed dial, just in case there is a freak chance the blood Kara wakes up in might be human (it has not happened yet, knock on wood).

But there are other parts that still take some getting used to. Like, for example, the loss of memory that comes with every night of the full moon. Because yeah, she understands why she wakes up in a pool of blood. What she doesn’t understand is why this time around she wakes up in a pool of her own blood, and in so much pain that it hurts to open her eyes.

“Ow,” Kara whispers to herself, twisting onto her side with a groan. Her clothes are gone—no surprise—but even as she is laying down on the cold, rocky forest floor, the only thing she can focus on is how much her head hurts. She’s dealt with branch scratches, sore legs and arms, the occasional plethora of bug bites, but never a headache. Her one comfort is that at least she has made it into the backyard of Sam’s cabin. It takes a considerable amount of strength to push herself up off the ground; walking is going to be much harder than anticipated.

If Alex saw her now, she'd—well first she would hit Kara over the head and yell at her about being dumb, but afterwards she would snicker. And probably hit her over the head again for good measure.

“Oh my God—!”

Okay, it’s official. Kara is now dead. Even if the stranger gawking at her is not the one who kills her, Alex definitely will.

And it’s that thought that makes Kara drop right back down on the floor, knocking the wind right out of her lungs, and she groans into the dirt pitifully.

“Oh, fuck,” the stranger whispers, almost as if to herself, scrambling to come to Kara’s side. “Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck this shit. Fuck!” Said stranger belatedly claps a hand over her mouth, green eyes widening in horror. “Holy shit, are you alive?”

Kara pitifully rests her cheek against the ground and tries not to look too offended. “Uh, kind of,” she replies. (So this must not be Sam’s cabin, then.) “Sorry. Am I in your yard? It is a very nice yard. Five stars.”

“No, it’s not my—I’m house-sitting,” the woman explains, though she is giving Kara a look that says really? That’s what you want to focus on right now?

“Well, it’s still a nice place,” Kara says, because she is polite and small talk is always a good thing to fall back on when you’re naked on a pile of dead leaves. “Wait, I don’t suppose you’re house-sitting for Sam, are you? Sam Arias, super tall, has a daughter who is freakishly good at checkers?”

Stranger-who-swears-like-a-sailor frowns. “How do you know Sam?” she asks suspiciously.

“She dated my sister. It was a whole—it’s a thing,” Kara says. “You know?”

“Wait. Are you Kara? Are you Alex’s sister?”

“Yes! So you do know!” Kara would grin if her face were capable of any emotion besides mind-shattering pain. “Then you must be Sam’s friend…uh, bear with me…Lena? Or Jess?”

“Lena,” says the woman, still notably wary, so Kara makes the decision to wiggle until she can prop herself up her elbows and look less, well, like a corpse.

“Hey, got it in one!” Kara says as cheerfully as she can muster. “Well, it’s nice to meet you. And can I just—uh, say—that you don’t have to worry. I won’t die here or anything. I know you would obviously be the number one suspect for murder and it wouldn’t be nice of me to put you through that.”

“…right. Never mind that you would be dead, or anything.” Lena begins to shakily unbutton her coat like a woman possessed, as if her doubt has morphed entirely into concern now that she has confirmation the freak naked in Sam’s backyard is not an entire stranger. “Here, this is long enough to cover you. Do you—do you need help getting up?”

“No, no, I’ve got it, thank you,” Kara insists, and gradually, she manages; she shifts sideways and then tentatively onto her butt, and accepts the coat when it’s all but thrown at her face. There is blood mixed in with the leaves and general guck beneath her, and she winces at the sight. “I’ll come back and clean this later,” she’s quick to add, and Lena frowns in response.

“Are you serious? Forget cleaning, you need—stitches, at the very least. I can take you to the hospital if—”

“Oh no, you don’t have to do that!” Kara blurts out, and with the adrenaline from that burst of energy she’s able to scramble to her feet. She is shaky, unsteady, but she manages to stay upright at least and she’ll count that as a win. “Shoot. I’m sorry for yelling. I just—no hospitals. I can’t do hospitals.” She has never had to form an excuse for this, and her mouth can’t quite wrap around the right words.

But Lena—green eyes wide and unsure, skin pale in the early morning light—nods, like she understands. “Okay,” she says. “No hospitals.”

“Thanks,” Kara mumbles, wrapping the coat tightly around herself. There are startling black spots in her vision and her head still feels like it was used as a piñata; she wonders what the heck her next move should be now. If Sam needs someone to house-sit, she must be out of the city. And if Sam is out of the city, Kara can’t exactly waltz into Sam’s house to wash all the blood off her body (and then call up Alex from the couch while stealing whatever ice cream Ruby picked). Sam lets her do that, sure, but that’s Sam. It would be pretty rude to do that when Lena is right here.

“Do you…” And Lena pauses, nose scrunching up as if something has just occurred to her. “I can give you a ride somewhere else, if you’d like. Back to your house?”

“No, that’s okay,” Kara hurries to decline, because how can she really explain that she lives in an apartment, and that if little old Mrs. Jensen saw her coming up covered in blood she’d finally succumb to her third heart attack? “Can I just use Sam’s phone to call my sister? Then I’ll come right back out here, I promise.”

“Why would you come back out here again?” Underneath her coat, Lena is wearing plaid pajama pants that are rolled at the ankle (Sam’s, most likely), and a tank top that is extremely fitted. Very, very well fitted. Like, you-can-tell-it’s-frigidly-cold-outside-kind-of-fitted.

Kara coughs and tries not to let on how her train of thought has twisted. “Because…I’m a stranger?” she tries. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. Remember, if you die I’m going to be the first one they question,” Lena says, tilting her head expectantly in the direction of Sam’s cabin. “Come inside, warm up. Call your sister.” All things considered, she is far more concerned than Kara expected her to be—as if, somehow, ridding herself of the weirdo walking around bloody and probably concussed isn’t the very first thing on Lena’s mind.

So Kara doesn’t look a gift horse in the mouth; she accepts the offer. It’s a small comfort that if she really does get murdered by a total stranger, it won’t be while cold and naked.

Lena goes right into Sam’s room the instant they go inside, already gathering a million outfits for Kara to pick through. “The shower is fickle, but it does have hot water,” she says, adding a towel to the pile in Kara’s arms when she re-emerges. “You just have to—”

“Hit the wall twice, and give it a few seconds,” Kara finishes. “Yeah, Sam reminds me every time.”

“So you…visit Sam often, do you?”

“Uh.” And suddenly, despite the long, cold night she’s had, the air indoors feels a bit warmer than is comfortable. “Only sometimes.” Once a month, Kara thinks, and Lena crosses her arms and just stares.

Really stares, dragging those sharp green eyes up and down Kara’s whole body. Squints at the scratches on her face, scrunches her nose at the way Kara awkwardly shifts from side to side. Finally Lena speaks, and it’s only to say, “It’s you, isn’t it?”

“...come again?”

“It’s you. Sam told me she’s been helping out a friend with a—furry predicament—”

If it were possible to choke on air, Kara would be dead right now. “Did she really call it furry? But she’s also—!” She has to pause, now, because she feels an urge to clarify, “Wait. Are we talking about the same thing right now?”

Lena narrows her eyes slightly. “You mean talking about how you’re a werewolf?”

“Oh!” Head lighter, Kara sucks in a laugh that makes her ribs feel like they are splintering open. “Then yes. That’s good, I didn’t want you to think I was a—anyway. I didn’t think Sam told anyone.”

“Sam and I have been friends for a long time,” Lena says slowly. A beat. “She actually ate my hamster once.”

Kara winces. “Recently?”

“No! Back in the fifth grade,” Lena frowns, like she might’ve added dumbass at the end of the sentence. “I’m a grown woman. I don’t own hamsters.”

“What? Come on, having pets isn’t just a kid thing,” Kara says. “I used to have a cat, but he…”

“Oh my God, you ate him?”

Kara’s jaw drops. “What—no! He turned out to already have an owner, so she took him back. He just liked to wander into my apartment.” She hugs the clothing pile tighter to her chest, and tries her hardest to scowl. “I’m responsible, okay? Most of the time. I’m not dangerous.”

“Except to deer, or rabbits, or whatever else you killed last night?” Lena quirks an eyebrow, but surprisingly not in a manner that’s judge-y. Just…curious.

“Right,” Kara says defeatedly, and her head throbs enough that her grip on Sam’s clothes begins to falter. “Sorry. I wasn't trying to be defensive or anything.”

“That's alright.” And stranger still, Lena reaches out to gently touch the side of Kara’s head. “So does the same thing happen to you?”

“Huh?” The proximity has scrambled Kara’s brain momentarily, and she finds herself unthinkingly holding her breath.

“Do you also black out,” Lena clarifies. “Like Sam does, every time she shifts.”

“Oh. Yeah, I’m pretty sure it’s—a universal wolf thing,” Kara says.

Lena hums, and her hand retracts. “And are you a serial killer in wolf form?”

“Uh, I hope not? I’m pretty sure all this is…” Kara gestures over her body with one hand, still hugging the pile of clothes with the other. “Not human.”

“Okay.” Lena casually walks away, but pauses to throw over her shoulder, “I’ll help you clean up your head once you’re out of the shower. I’ve helped Sam a hundred times.”

“Are you—do you have some kind of healing magic, or—”

“Close. I’m an ER nurse,” Lena says amusedly, and when she smiles a dimple emerges on one cheek. “All the witches I know have fled the city, so I’m afraid you’re stuck with me.”

“You joke, but Alex dated this witch once, and she hexed my sister to spill her first sip of coffee every time she went to take a drink for three weeks straight after they broke up,” Kara says, and Lena again scrunches her nose in that quizzical way.

“Seriously? Witches are real too?”

“Duh,” Kara says lightly. “What, you thought it stopped at werewolves? Please. I’m pretty sure the neighbor two doors down is a gorgon.”

“Well, it would explain her fondness of statues,” Lena says, strangely nonplussed. “I’ve never asked, but I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised at this point. How do you take your coffee?” As she asks, Lena deposits a few fingers of whiskey into a mug, and at Kara’s questioning look says, “Sorry, we’re all out of painkillers. This is as good as you’re going to get.”

“Maybe I’ll do better if it’s straight,” Kara says, unable to hide her grimace, while Lena shrugs a shoulder as if to say it’s your funeral.

So after Kara showers, she sits on the couch and sips gross whiskey out of a chipped mug that reads World’s Best Mom in bright pink letters. Lena has turned on the TV to the local news station—clearly she has stayed with Sam before—and a man on screen is recounting a tale of how he hit a giant wolf strolling too close to his farm with a baseball bat.

“If I had my shotgun I would’ve killed the fucker,” he swears, red in the face, and above her Lena gives a little scoff.

“What a dick,” Lena says, her hand steadily stitching up the wound on Kara’s scalp, and her voice has a hint of an accent; it’s really cute, actually, and Kara doesn’t even mind that the next poke of the needle is sharper than the others.

It is the strangest morning Kara has ever had. Drinking whiskey before eight in the morning, with a kind stranger who she’s barely met but is suturing her skin together, who smells faintly of lavender soap and strong black coffee.

“—National City is not safe when wolves are wandering close to homes—”

The scent of rich hot chocolate bubbling on the stove is beginning to fill the room, the ancient pipes are rumbling throughout the walls, and Lena’s fingers are soft against her head. Kara closes her eyes and decides that she will wait a little longer before she calls Alex to pick her up.