#the magic is called authors pet and its arcane focus is the narrative

[constantvariations]

V9C5

Got that post-workout bliss and a plate of pizza rolls, so I’m raring to go!

Post Ep: whoever decided the rusted knight “twist” should step on a lego every five minutes for the rest of their lives

Wait why is Ruby running? The last episode ended with the caterpillar being dropped through the floor by the cat, so are they running from the cat? Was the growth yogurt ready, and if so did they grab it ($50 on no)

“I’m so glad the four of you are still the four of you.” Is this excluding Little because they didn’t get hit with the Character Arc tm dust? (Now that I think about it, why didn’t Little have a vision? Did we just not see it or are they immune somehow?)

“You’re the one who ditched us in the first place” okay, Weiss, firstly Ruby stopped following the cat so that’s mostly on her. Secondly, why are you being antagonistic to the one creature you can’t afford to offend because it’s the one creature who can get you to the tree?

“...someone return to the Ever After.” How can you return to a place you’re already in? Is there a reprogramming center or something? If you veer too far off from your role you get reset? Reminds me of the re-educators of the Dragon Age Qun

They’re really laying on thick the whole “Everything is what it isn’t, and what it is, it wouldn’t be” (shout out to that one Shinedown song from the live action Alice in Wonderland)

All this talk of what happened to the caterpillar just sounds like a shitty mishmash of the Ship of Theseus, Schrodinger’s cat, and a reset button

So the Red King underwent the Ever Again program (I’m just gonna call it that, roll with it) and came out a kid? Was that by design or does everyone basically get reborn? Does that mean the racoon hasn’t been Agained since Alyx?

Oh they call it Ascension? How Devil May Cry of you. Also I ain’t calling it that. I like my Agained verbage

“Nose hair from a leprechaun.” I am half expecting a Rocket Racoon bit here

Straight up ditching someone you know is acting off because ~ew nose hair~ is... something else. And there goes Blake trailing after Yang’s coattails again because we! need! that! bee! bait!

This cat is far too lenient with these assholes. They just straight up jumped on his head without asking because who needs to respect people’s autonomy amiright fellas?

Goddammit bring the cat back right now I can’t stand Little’s voice and cOmEdY

Okay all the lights going out one by one is hella creepy gg

“I thought this was lost forEVER” why does Ruby sound like a highschool girl complaining about drama this deadass made me burst out laughing Also, is that the same sword from the Red Kingdom or a different one?

Okay the android is cool as shit I will admit that. The chain as hair is absolutely fantastic

Was that Summer in the axe blade? An axe is not what I would have expected of a Ruby clone. Those are hard-hitting and slow, usually used by the tanks, while Summer and Ruby’s figures suggest more agile approaches. If it were more of a hatchet size, I could see that, especially as a dual-wield

Pocket dimension blacksmith shop? Sign me the fuck up please

I think I’m going to strangle Weiss. You literally just saw her standing in the middle of the road, staring at and talking to nobody, and you fucking whine? I hope someone stabs her with her own tiara jfc

“It contains a mother’s promise” BITCH WHEN WAS THIS ESTABLISHED AND WHY WAS THAT THE FIRST THING YOU THOUGHT OF TO GIVE AWAY I’M GONNA BURN A FIRE HYDRANT

“We do not ascend” oh you mean die? That thing you said didn’t happen here? Dying? Was there even a second reading of the script or did yall just smoke with the originals?

Yes Ruby go right past the hostile creature instead of literally any other direction. Yall deserve whatever hell you make

Why is Ruby carrying everyone constantly? Their legs aint broke girl. Go be a distraction while they go for the yogurt goddamn

The giant jackrabbit’s cool ngl

Like how one scoop only grew them to doll sized but whatever was left after it was splattered grew them all to the right size

The jackrabbit’s name is Juniper. Both cute and cringe

GODDAMMIT IT HAD TO BE JAUNE

WHY

HE FELL LAST

THAT SHOULDVE BEEN YANG

FUCK YOU CRWBY