#oh to be ACTUAL twins on writing sites where other kids don’t understand how we work

[cs-cabin-and-crew]

Watched a video on ‘what was your fanfic secret’ or whatever

And a surprising amount was “I pretended I was an identical twin pair that wrote on the same account so I could do multiple stories with different genres for no reason”

And now I’m here wondering how many readers think me and my sister aren’t real and just a kid pretending to be two people

[quirklessidiot]

title : cigarettes and parfaits [1] pairing : older!nanami kento x younger!reader [13 year age gap, ft toji fushiguro] Genre: romance, fluff, super duper mild angst, slice of life, josei, bad comedy, strangers to lovers au

Summary: you’re pretty sure you’d remember marrying a man 13 years older than you, right?

Warnings: alcohol, smoking, very,very mild smut, y/n making stupid decisions, everyones a human-au so yeh non-canon stuff and everyone’s happy (periODT BECAUSE NANAMI DESERVES HAPPINESS)

Notes: after repeatedly giving you jjk angst, i have been very happy to announce that i am able to write something fluffy now. Yay! (Anyways this is based on the manga sesame salt and pudding, yall better read that. It’s just *chefs kiss*) also this may or may not be written ebcause of the amount of smoll nanami content i’m seeing around this site hmPH 

masterlist  || taglist || [next  ; updates every friday]

The sound of your alarm blared at the crack of dawn, making you immediately jerk up in an unfashionable manner, you shouldn’t drink on Sunday nights. Good lord,  why did you even do that?-

Your thoughts are cut short though when you feel something, better yet, someone, next to you. It’s dark but you could definitely tell that whoever this stranger is, had settled himself quite comfortably by your side. You blink once then twice then slowly reached out to switch your lamp open to get a good look on who was next to you.

Thankfully, you’re still in your clothes from last night.

Also, who the fuck is this?

Your brows are furrowed together as you try to remember who this person was. Blonde hair and jaw so sharp that it could probably cut the vegetables on your kitchen counter, some fine lines littered his face as he wrinkled his forehead in his sleep.

The tie on his neck is loose as you slowly peered to observe him even more and for some odd reason that made your ears turn bright red as you check out his rather lean figure (he wasn’t overly muscular, he was just right)

“Oh shit.” You mumbled, snapping out of your daze, you had to focus! This was a stranger for crying out loud, “Who the-”

Before you could even say anything more, his eyes shot open and you’re greeted by chocolate brown eyes. You try to stutter out a reply, clearly in your frazzled state the only thing you could let out was, “What the fuck?”

“Oh, you’re awake.” his voice was deep and quite raspy, and daresay, it suited his rather sharp appearance.

Was this stranger awake this whole time that you were gawking at him under the dim light? Your ears turn even a brighter shade of pink. Was it just the heater or was this room getting hotter than it should be?

Yet despite your flustered state though, he thankfully remains oblivious, “Are you feeling any better?” he asks.

Despite his bland facial expression, there was a certain warmth in his tone and that made your heart beat quicken. It wasn’t everyday that you’d wake up to find a good looking older gentleman next to you after all, “I’m good…” You shyly replied, the confidence you had moments ago while you were cursing him was gone when you heard his soft tone, “I- sorry but who are you? What happened?”

He stares at you for a moment and purses his lips, “Nanami Kento.” he introduces himself briefly. From the likes of it, he seemed like a professional, “To be honest, I don’t have much recollection from last night due to the alcohol. When I woke up a few moments ago, you wouldn’t let go and I had no choice but to lay there and wait for you to wake up.”

You paled just a bit at his explanation and turned bright red right after, how embarrassing! Not only did you just embarrass yourself in front of this older gentleman awhile ago, you did something so unlike you last night! Thank god this ojisan was a lot more calmer than you. He didn’t even look that perplexed or annoyed by your state at all.

He runs his hands through his soft blonde hair after and lets out a low groan.

“D-Does your head hurt, Nanami-san?”

“Yes.”

“I-would you-” you tried to stammer a few words out yet you're immediately cut off by his phone ringing.

Right, boundaries. You shouldn’t overstep them since you already did so much last night to disturb him despite you two being so out of it. You watch him as he answers his cell phone in a quick and suave manner, all traces of hungover gone, “Nanami speaking.” He greets as soon as he answers the call, “I understand. Please try to help them out and I apologize for the inconvenience.”

He ends the call and stands up, tightening his tie. Despite him spending the night here, he still looked orderly and it’s so unfair because right now, you knew you looked like absolute shit with the alcohol and booze in your system.

“I have to take my leave now. I apologize for intruding.” he bows down formally.

You’re pretty sure you were the one who intruded, his actions makes you immediately stand up despite the throbbing headache which was definitely a wrong move because the moment you did, you felt your legs giving out.

Great.

“I-sorry, I would bow…” You tried to stammer out an apology, ears bright red once again, just how much could you embarrass yourself in front of this gentleman?  “Sorry for the intrusion too Nanami-san.”

He leaves without saying anything much to your relief and as soon as you hear your front door close, you scream right at the pillow.

“Stupid, stupid, stupid!” You muffled at the pillow.

Thank God you wouldn’t be seeing him ever again!

“L/N-sensei.”

You turn to find Maki and Megumi standing there, they were members of a rather elite family in Tokyo, Most often you avoided bumping shoulders with Megumi’s father since he was, well, quite a tease and although you do admit that Toji Zen’in is a very good-looking and fine man from a very good background, you couldn’t look past the fact that you taught his kids mathematics and there was a good fifteen year age gap between you two, “Hi there.” A warm smile dances on your lips, “Is this about the earlier math problem again?”

The question was directed to Maki, Megumi wasn’t one to ask questions about his lessons since he wasn’t fond of academics.

“Actually, it isn’t. Toji-ojisan says you should come to his birthday.” Maki shrugged, “He says his 40th birthday wouldn’t be complete if you weren’t there.”

Ah, that’s why Megumi didn’t want to go alone. The young boy’s cheeks are painted pink, clearly embarrassed by his father’s antics, “Ah,” You laughed, trying to play it cool. Despite his father’s relentless teasing, he had never made you feel uncomfortable. If he hadn’t been asking you out a few times, you’d consider him a friend, “Your otosan does love to joke around a lot doesn’t he, Megumi-kun?”

“I could deck him for you if you’d like, sensei. I swear that old man needs to realize that you’re way too young and good for him.” He mumbles the last part, clearly annoyed.

“Oh have you gotten married, L/N-sensei?” Maki cuts her younger cousin off suddenly, clearly surprised, “I thought you never had a boyfriend..or girlfriend...or a lover…”

“I- excuse me?” You sweatdrop, “Married, where?”

“Am I mistaken? You have a silver band on your ring finger at your left hand.” Maki points out, “Congrats sensei! It seems like Toji-ojisan won’t be bothering you anymore!”

You were too much in a frazzled state this morning that you hadn’t even noticed the ring band on your finger. You weren’t married, heck, you haven’t dated since college but where in the hell did you get this ring?

“L/N-san?” You’re snapped back to reality by a coworker, “We have two new enrollees, would you mind handling them since they’ll be added to your section?”

“Right,” You smile, “That’s my cue to leave. I’ll get going now. Enjoy your snack time.”

Before Maki could say anything more about the silverband on your ring finger, you scurried away to the faculty room, shaking that weird feeling off since you had to get back to work. 

Job first, ring later.

As you went in, two abnormally bleached pink hair stood out and you could immediately tell that they were going to be the new kids that you’d be teaching. You walk closer, realizing how much they looked alike despite the markings on the other.

“Hi, Good morning.” You greeted kindly, “You must be the new kids.”

“Ah,” the one with tattoo markings on his face gloated, “Aren’t you too bright?”

“Sukuna, shut up.” his twin frowned, “Sorry Sensei, My brother isn’t feeling so well since our ojisan had told us off before going to school.”

It seemed like the other twin would be a handful, nevertheless, you were still going to be his teacher so you let out a small smile, “It’s fine.” You waved off, “We all have bad days, don’t we? I’m L/N-sensei and I’ll be your homeroom and math teacher.”

“Hai.” The one without tattoos replied, enthusiasm leaking on his tone, “Itadori Yuuji and this is Itadori Sukuna, please take care of us.”

You watch Yuuji force his twin to bow down to show a sign of respect. For a high schooler, Sukuna and Yuuji’s parents seemed so lax, bleached hair and tattoos? That was definitely a first one on your list. You take a look at the data they passed and a small frown settles on your lips, it seemed like you had to take back the words you said earlier.

Both their parents had died a few years ago.

You cleared your throat and tried to put on the smile and enthusiasm from earlier, “I’ll be sure to introduce you to the class right after break and since it’s your first day I’ll be lax but please try not to go in late again.”

Yuuji’s grin remains the same as he agrees enthusiastically while Sukuna still looks mildly uninterested, something that you realize oh-so quickly that you’ll have to get used to.

After introducing the twins to the class, you settle on your desk at the faculty and peer at the ring on your finger. The only conclusion you could come up with was that this was from the older gentleman from the night before but why would he even give you a ring?

It didn’t even look cheap and it was surprisingly just your size, meaning it was definitely for you.

You inwardly let out a groan as you placed your hand on top of your eyes. God, you definitely needed to lay off the alcohol next time. You feel the phone in your pocket start to ring, peerlessly glancing at the unknown number. People really need to lay off the scam calls.

“Hello, I’m sorry I’m not-”

“Yo-ho, is this Y/N-chan?” The voice on the other line is so unfamiliar yet familiar at the same time.

“Uh, who is this?”

“Is your husband with you?” the voice sounds so playful and teasing that you almost ignore what he had just said earlier.

“E-Excuse me?” You sputtered out, cheeks turning red, “I don’t have a husband.”

“Huh…” the playful voice switches to disappointment, “Don’t tell me you forgot what happened with us last night, L/N-chan.”

You feel something bubbling on your stomach, oh no, this definitely didn’t sound good!

“I- wait, what? who are you? What do you mean? what happened?” countless of questions started to pile up in your head and out of your mouth, panic immediately engulfing you because for a prank call this guy sounded way too legit, confirming your irresponsibility the night before. 

“Silly Y/N-chan. How could you ever forget me? I’m such an important person! I’m Gojo Satoru, your witness from your wedding!” 

taglist (if crossed out, i cant tag u im so sorry ack ;-;)

 ; @coldbookworm  ; @frankenstein852  ;  @neavil​  ; @shephard17895​   @kristineyoshaii​ ; @airybnb​​

@Kurok1717 ;  @hcn421 ;  @shinhiromi ;  @airybnb ;    ; ​

[songtoyou]

Epiphany - Part Four

Paring: Luke Crain x Female Reader

Chapter Rating: PG-13

Word Count: 3,080

Warnings: Talks of drug use and recovery. Swearing and self-doubt.

Description: Life has never been easy for Luke Crain. After the death of Nell, Luke realizes that he needs to make some changes. He decided to stay in Massachusetts and attend rehab. He was determined to remain on his path of sobriety. When you get assigned to be Luke’s sponsor, it opens a new door of possibilities that neither you nor Luke expected.  

A/N: I am sorry that it has taken me so long to write and upload this chapter. I have not been feeling so good since I posted that last chapter. Lots of anxiety keeping me from doing things such as write. Anyway, here is the new chapter. I wanted to write about Aunt Janet. I felt that the show didn’t really tell us much about her except that she took care of the kids after the events of Hill House in 1992. 

Note: Italics represent the past or past conversations.

Feedback is wonderful. It is nice knowing if people are actually liking this fic.

I do not permit my work to be posted on any other site without my permission.

Tag list: @morningstar09

~Aunt Janet’s House – 2002 ~

“Luke! Hurry up, or you’re going to be late for school!” Aunt Janet yelled up the stairs.

“Luke! Come on!” exclaimed Nellie. “I’ll go check on him.”

“Thanks, sweetie,” said Janet. Her youngest nephew often worried her, especially since it was the tenth anniversary of Olivia’s death this past summer. Janet started to notice that Luke became more recluse and stayed up in his room. The only person Luke would interact with was Nell, which was not surprising to Janet. The twins only managed to become closer as they got older.

What really began to cause Janet to worry was catching Luke steal money from her purse. She asked him what he was doing and why he was stealing. However, Luke could come up with a pretty decent lie about needing money to buy flowers for Olivia’s grave.

In truth, it was to buy beer. Luke had taken a liking to the barley and hops beverage. It helped him feel numb and not worry about anything. Unfortunately, Luke had one too many beers last night and was paying for it. Nellie found him headfirst in the toilet regurgitating the contents of his late-night beer binge.

“Eww, gross. What is wrong with you?” asked Nellie. She pinched her nose as the stench of Luke’s puke was overwhelming.

“What does it look like! I’m sick! Tell Aunt Janet that I can’t go to school.”

“Luke, come on. You have missed too many days already. They’re going to hold you back another year if you miss any more school,” Nellie argued while searching through Luke’s drawers and closet for clothes.

Luke managed to get up from the bathroom floor when he felt it was safe. He rinsed out his mouth to relieve it from the after taste of throw-up.

“Come on! Get cleaned up and put these on,” ordered Nell and shoved Luke’s clothes in his arms.

Luke groaned and plopped down on his bed. “Nellie…I can’t go to school today. I’m too sick.”

“Well, your sickness is also making me sick, but I managed to get up and ready for school today. Now move it! I’ll keep bugging you if you don’t move. I’m not going to let you fall to the waste side. Do you hear me, Luke?”

“Fine! I’m getting dressed!” Luke yelled to get Nellie off of his back.

No matter what occurred between them, neither twin could ever hate the other. They were each other’s best friends and closest confidante. They had to be. Especially now that they were the last two left in Aunt Janet’s care. As soon as their eldest siblings turned eighteen, they hightailed it out of Janet’s house for college.

Luke slowly trudges down the stairs with his backpack slumped on his shoulders.

“Hey, there he is,” greeted Aunt Janet. “Would you like some breakfast, sweetie?”

“No! No breakfast,” Luke replied with his head on the table.

However, Nellie pushed a plate of dry toast in front of him and told him to at least nibble some bites. “Here’s some orange juice. Take slow sips. The last thing we need is you spewing junks in the toilet again,” whispered Nellie while Aunt Janet was in the kitchen. She would not out that her brother was hungover. That last thing Nell wanted was to cause any more trouble for Luke.

She knew why Luke did not want to go to school, and it had to do with, what else, their family. Some of the kids at school saw Luke as an easy target to bully and terrorize. The topic of their “messed-up” family was their go-to whenever they wanted to antagonize Luke. Nell often found herself a target for bullies but could stand up for herself a lot better than Luke.

With the anniversary of Olivia’s death, the bullies made it their mission to torment Luke about growing up without a mother or father. They would push him against the lockers, knocking his glasses off his face, and trip him in the hallways. It was too much to handle, and Luke was tired.

Leaning back in his chair, Luke re-read the words on the computer screen. His instructor loved the essay he turned in and advised him to expand upon it. Luke pushed aside his reservations about exploring his past traumas through writing. It was a better outlet for Luke to help cope and tackle past stressful life experiences.  Not only did Luke have support from his instructor and you, but his counselor at Banyan Treatment Center, Rob, also supported the idea of using expressive writing as a way to heal.

Luke could not deny that writing helped clear his head. Something he learned while being in rehab back in Los Angeles. It allowed him to face things from his past that he had pushed aside. However, Luke had some reservations about how much he should…open himself up when it comes to sorting out his past events. There were still things that Luke was not quite ready to face.  

Oh my God!" exclaimed Luke. "It has been a month and a half since we have seen that movie. It would be best if you got over the ending. It happened. There is nothing you can do about it."

"I can't, Luke. It was total bullshit!" you yelled back furiously.

Luke calmly said your name to get your attention. "Listen to me; we don't even know if Steve Rogers actually stayed back in time to be with Peggy. He may have…"

"Then where did he go? Huh? He just up and left his friends who he just got back. Steve and Peggy never even dated! They kissed, that is it. Yes, there was an attraction that each had for one another, but that was all it ever way…an attraction. They are a 'what could have been' type of couple—the movie completely throughout all of Steve's character development…right out the window. Whatever, I'm over it," you stated, throwing your hands up in defeat.

You and Luke were driving to his Aunt Janet's house for a visit. He mentioned to you about wanting to visit his aunt for some time but had not gotten around to it. You were surprised that he asked you to come along.

Luke mentioned that Shirley and Theo were too busy to come with him and did not want to go alone. You agreed on the condition that he drive since Aunt Janet lived an hour and a half away from Wilmington. Lately, your anxiety has been going up and down, so you were not comfortable being at the hands of the wheel, especially on the freeway. You did not understand why you had such anxiety these past few days. You chalked it up to being nervous about your final project at school. The assignment was to create a self-portrait. It should be simple enough, but of course, the art instructor wanted students to "think outside of the box" and not have it be a regular standard portrait of themselves.

Each draft you came up with was of you in some state of turmoil, whether it be you depicted on a gurney getting resuscitated from your heroin overdose or lying in a pool of your own vomit. You could not understand why this particular project was giving you such a hard time. You were three-years sober. You had a steady job and gone back to school. Your relationship with your parents was better than ever. So, why the thought of a self-portrait brought upon negative thoughts about oneself?

You mentioned your troubles to Luke, and he was very sympathetic. While he was now 206 days sober, there were times where he felt…like the achievement did not mean much.

"What do you mean by that?" you asked him while on the way to Aunt Janet's house.

"It's just…this isn't my first rodeo when it comes to recovery," Luke began to say. "There is always this little voice in the back of my head that…"

"That it is only temporary. I have that little voice too. I'm not too fond of that little voice. Three years sober, and there are times where I still feel like a total failure. I shouldn't, but…I can't help it," you revealed to Luke honestly.

"Thankfully, there is another little voice in the back of my head that gives tells me that I'm doing a good job now and then. It's just that positive little voice has been a tad quiet lately," you added.

Luke could pick up on the little defeatist tone in your voice, and he did not like it. You immediately felt his worry about you. "Hey," you said to get his attention and placed a hand on his arm. "Don't worry about me, okay. I'm fine. I have my fears like every recovering addict. It is nice to talk to someone about it, particularly someone who understands, you know. That helps."

Silence soon filled the car, but it was not awkward. You never had awkward or uncomfortable silences with Luke. For some reason, Luke was one of the few comforting presences in your life. Regardless of all of the hardships he has gone through in his life, he offered a sense of hopefulness. With his 6'3 stature, Luke really came off more like a gentle giant. It was like he did not view himself as this grown tall man, but probably still felt like that little kid hiding under the bed from the "Tall Man" at Hill House.

"Luke," you said to get his attention. "Are you happy?"

"No," he replied immediately, then clarified when he saw the look you gave him. "I mean, am I happy that I am over 200 days clean, then yes I am, very much so. But…I don't know, there is a small part of me that is scared to be happy…to be content in fear of something going wrong."

When Luke pulled the car into Aunt Janet's driveway, the older woman immediately came out of the house to greet her youngest nephew.

"There he is, my little boy," she said and wrapped her arms around Luke, which he reciprocated.

"Hi Aunt Janet, how are you?"

"I'm fine, darling. How have you been?" Aunt Janet asked, pulling away to get a good look at Luke. He looked much better than he did at Nell's funeral.

"Good. I'm doing good. Everyone is doing…fine," Luke replied, then turned towards you. He introduced you as his friend and not his sponsor to his Aunt, which kind of surprised you.

"So nice to meet you," said Aunt Janet taking your hand. She motioned for you both to follow her into the house. "I hope you both are hungry. I made an array of sandwiches and salads for lunch. Luke, I also made your favorite…chocolate pecan pie bars."

"Thank the Lord because he was hoping you would make them on the car ride here. It was all he talked about?" you teased.

"Once you have one, then you will know what I am talking about," Luke responded with a smile.

Aunt Janet lead you both into the kitchen.

"Can I use the bathroom to freshen up?" you asked her.

"Oh yes, dear. It is down that hallway, the first door to the right," told Aunt Janet as she showed you where to go. "Luke, you should probably wash your hands first," she added.

"Yes, Aunt Janet," he said and went to the sink to wash his hands.

When you were no longer in earshot, Aunt Janet stood beside her nephew and said, "Your friend seems really sweet."

Luke could not hold back his smile, "Yeah, she is genuinely nice. She's fun to hang out with. We have a lot of the same interests. Shirley and Theo have met her as well," he mentioned and shared that both of his sisters really liked you.

Aunt Janet turned her head to see if you came if you were around the corner. When you were not, she leaned over to Luke and said, "Very pretty too. She'd make a lovely…"

"Aunt Janet, she is just a friend. I can't date her anyway. She's…they say you shouldn't date anyone while still in recovery."

"I'm so proud of you," Aunt Janet said as she placed the food on the kitchen table. "You are becoming the man I always knew you could be."

Luke would be lying to himself if he denied that there was some form of attraction that he had for you, both physically and emotionally. He knew that the feelings that he was slowly developing towards you could be considered wrong. You were his sponsor…a dedicated one at that too. It would not be right for him to act on any attraction he may have for you—no doubt, that you would not reciprocate them, which would be disappointing to Luke.

"Better to just suffer in silence," Luke thought to himself.

"Don't you want a girlfriend? A family of your own someday?" asked Aunt Janet.

"Yeah…maybe. Someday. I'm just learning to take care of myself without drugs in my system. There is no way I can be a dedicated father or husband to anyone… at least not right now. I am still a work in progress," Luke admitted to his aunt. "I do like…" But Luke stopped when he heard your footsteps approaching.

"Oh, my goodness. The pictures on the wall… I'm assuming the little kid with glasses is you, Luke."

The three of you sat around the kitchen table with your plates stacked with delicious food.

"Luke was the absolute cutest kid. He had a little lisp as well," Aunt Janet shared. "I have more pictures of the kids if you would like to see them?"

"Yes," you replied ecstatically.

"No," Luke disputed, "We are in the middle of eating."

"We can multitask. Let's see those pictures," you asserted gleefully while Aunt Janet got up from the table.

With a belly full of food, the three you were now sitting outside on the patio, drinking tea, and eating Aunt Janet's yummy chocolate pecan pie bars. You already looked through three photo albums that showed Luke and his siblings' younger years.

"I wanted to take as many pictures as I could of the kids. They hated it, but I told 'em they would appreciate it when they got older," expressed Aunt Janet. "Here's a picture of Nell on her wedding day. That's her husband, Arthur. Sadly, he passed away a couple of months after they got married. But…they are together now."

You looked at the photo of the young couple. Nell looked very much like her older sisters and her mother. You could tell that there was a kindness about Nell just by looking at the picture. She was the type of person to go above and beyond for her family and even strangers. Luke would say that Nell was just that type of person to care about everyone, no matter who they were or where they came from.

Luke did share with you that one of his biggest regrets was not going to Nell's wedding. He said that he tried, but Shirley told him to leave. Luke said that it was for the best and that he was in no right state of mind to support his twin the way she deserved on her wedding day.

Thankfully for Luke, Nell understood and held no hard feelings. She never did when it came to her other half.

Aunt Janet began to sniffle, and when you looked up from the photo, you saw the older woman dab her eyes with a napkin. Out of instinct, Luke grabbed his Aunt's tiny hand and squeezed it with his as a way to show support. Just as he was Aunt Janet's little boy, Nell was her little girl. She was the one to raise them, take care of them, and guide them into adulthood.

None of the Crain children were perfect; they were far beyond that notion. However, there is no denying that if they did not have Aunt Janet take care of them and love them, they could have been worse off. Luke had the overwhelming feeling of guilt encompassing him at the moment as Aunt Janet tried to hold back her tears.

You instantly looked up at Luke. You could feel his sense of guilt towards the way he treated his aunt while growing up. He looked over at you. It was a silent conversation you both were having between one another. You mouthed, "Do you want me to go?" so he could have this moment alone.

With a shake of his head, 'No,' Luke spoke up to get his aunt's attention. "Aunt Janet…I'm sorry. I'm sorry for…for all the Hell I put you through while living here. You did so much for Nell and me, and the others that I…shit all over it. I stole and lied to you like it was my job. You deserved better. I just want you to know that…me getting hooked on drugs…well…that was…no matter what had happened…it was my choice to go down that path of destruction. I love you, Aunt Janet, and I am so appreciative of the sacrifices you made for my siblings and me. I wish that I weren't such a fuck up…"

"Oh sweetheart, no, you are not a…fuck up," Aunt Janet interjected and continued, "Not at all. I love you so much that…I would do anything for you, you know that, right? Your childhood is in the past. It happened. It is a part of you. The fact that you are continuing to remain clean after all that has occurred…well, that is something you should be most proud of. It shows that you are dedicated to your sobriety and turning your life around. No one said this process was easy, but you stayed the course and continued to make good decisions. As I told you earlier, you are becoming the man I always knew you could be."

"Now, I'm going to cry," Luke giggled as he dabbed his eyes with a napkin. "I didn't mean to turn this into a sob fest, but I wanted you to know that I'm sorry for what I put you through and that I love you very much, Aunt Janet."

Aunt Janet emerged from her seat to wrap her arms around her nephew and kiss the top of his head. It was a sweet moment to witness.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #479

“war sends our sons to slaughter  /  another failed attack; there is no turning back”

Have you ever boycotted something? Yes: Chick-fil-A. Homophobic, transphobic pieces of shit. Has anyone ever borrowed something from you, and not returned it? Yes, a video game when I was little. I was so mad, lol. Do you vent a lot on social media? No. I don't want people to get annoyed with me. What was your first bill you started paying on your own? I haven't been responsible for any bills yet. What is your favorite charitable cause to donate to or volunteer for? I can't/don't do either really, but if I could, I'd probably donate to uhhhh... suicide prevention organizations. As for volunteering, definitely something with animals. Have you ever dated someone who wasn’t at all your usual type? No. What is something you have no patience for? Waiting at the doctor's office. Have you ever received a misdiagnosis? Yes. What’s that you’re listening to? I'm watching Gab play The Evil Within 2. What kind of relationship do you have with the last person you kissed? We're a couple. What is your biggest accomplishment in life? Still being alive. What is one thing that you really wish you could understand, but don’t? Political stuff. Economics. Have you ever been tutored or tutored someone yourself? I had an Algebra tutor the last time I was in college, and I had to strangle an anxiety attack down because I wasn't understanding the material AT ALL and felt so dumb and annoying. I never did it again. What was the last thing you said out loud (singing doesn’t count)? "It's really embarrassing," to Mom. It really is fucking humiliating that my ankles are swollen from walking/standing more and pushing my desk chair back against the resistance of the carpet. That's pathetic. I'm trying to focus on the fact it's good my body is even reacting to moving more, though. Is everything you have on actually yours? Yep. Do you ever just randomly drive around when you’re upset about something? I don't drive, but if I did, that would NOT be my method of de-stressing. What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing an RP post. What’s your favorite department in Wal-Mart? Uh, I guess where you can go see the plants and flowers. Do you find kite flying boring? I LOVED it as a kid. I'd still probably find it kinda fun. Do you have any interest in visiting Japan? Yes, but it's not a massive interest. I've heard the humidity can kill a bitch, and I am NOT into that. Have you ever run a cash register? Yes. I sucked. Have you ever worked as a server? No. Have you ever done the Bratz challenge on YouTube? No, but I saw James Charles do it and it was v unnerving, holy shit. Would you rather paint or carve a pumpkin? Carve. What was your worst experience in high school? My depression as a whole. How much did your senior prom dress cost you? I don't remember. Have you ever been in a serious romantic relationship? Three, if you include my current one. Which part of your body is the most muscular? Uh, nothing? What is the first site you check when you get online, generally? KM. Are you good at creative writing assignments? That's my forte. In elementary school, I actually won a I think county-wide creative writing short story assignment. Not to brag, but I've always been very proud of that, ha ha. Or would you rather just do an informative essay? That's easy for me too, but I prefer writing creatively. Are you more attracted to the badasses, or the goody-goody types? Definitely the goody-goodies. The "bad guys" have never appealed to me romantically. Do you raise your hand or participate in class? I did if I really wanted to ask something or was confident in an answer. What is something BIG you want to do with your life? Make a difference, somehow. What do you think of people who own wild animals? Do NOT just casually take in animals from the wild. That's selfish and just generally disgusting. If you're going to keep an animal generally described as wild and undomesticated, you'd better have a license and deserve that license. Know what you're doing and be certain that keeping the animal in captivity is in the animal's best interest for its unique case. Are you good at explaining things, in general? NOOOOOOOOO, I suck at that. Do you like visiting the mall? Why or why not? Not our mall, no. Its stores suck/are extremely limited, and SO much crime has happened there. Do you like window shopping? Why or why not? YESSSSSSS, mostly on Morph Market, a mostly reptile selling hub online. You can browse TONS of breeders and literally thousands of reptiles, especially ball pythons. They even have a tarantula section I like to look at sometimes. If you lost your job/home/etc., who would likely help you? If I'm losing my home, I'm assuming my mom is gone, so my dad. Why did you first kiss the last person you kissed? We were a couple and I felt like I was supposed to. At that time I didn't see him romantically, but I desperately wanted to. Funny how we're back together and I've no reservations against kissing him now. Feelings change, for sure. Plans for tonight? Girt and I will probably play some WoW Classic together. We've started playing that together, and it's lots of fun with him. :') Has anyone seen you kiss the last person you kissed? Actually, no. Have you ever been kissed in a car? Yeah. Do you think anyone has feelings for you? I know Girt does. Is there anyone in your life that knows right away something’s wrong with you? My mom. Who last made you smile? Girt, 'cuz he's a sweetheart. Where is your mother? She's in bed in her room. She feels like shit. Like, you would think she WASN'T vaccinated, though her long-time doctor has said she'd probably be dead without it while having Covid. Would you rather look at clouds or stars? Stars. Think about your biggest mistake, would you go back and change it? I absolutely would. Are you dating the person you last kissed? Yeup. What is the most immature item you own and actually use? Um. Idk. Do you always take a shower after you have sex? I... didn't know people did this? Like I know women are advised to pee after sex, but full-on showering? No. Do you like chocolate popsicles? Oh hell yeah. Are your parents proud of you? They claim to be. I don't see how. Are you interested in the ocean? Yeah; it's inarguably so fascinating. Hot dogs or hamburgers? I prefer burgers. Have you ever been to a Chinatown in any of the cities you’ve been to? No. Have you ever been to couple’s counseling? No. Do you have any dietary restrictions? No. Have you ever turned down a job offer? No. What’s the largest animal you’ve ever had as a pet? A dog named Cali that was a boxer mix. Do you ever pray, even if you don't believe in God? What exactly is the point if you don't believe in God...? Anyway, I don't. Have you ever been to Mexico? No. Have you ever gotten stuck in quicksand before? No. What's the shortest or longest length you've ever had your hair grow? To around the small of my back. The last nest you saw - was it a bird nest or a hornet's nest? I think a bird's? Do you enjoy Jeff Dunham? I don't know if I'd like him as a person, but I do think he's a funny comedian. Who is your favorite character from Frozen? I was never into the movies. I do think Elsa is kinda cool (no pun intended, lol), though. I like that she has her flaws. Did you finish high school? If not, do you plan on doing so? I did. Have you been in a simulator that mimicked a submarine or rollercoaster? A rollercoaster, yes. How often do you go out to eat instead of cooking for yourself? Mom and I try to avoid fast food for our health. We do a pretty good job at it, but sometimes for convenience's sake, we do eat it. What is the largest family of siblings that you know of? This is probably gonna come across as very judgmental, but... it really bothers me. I don't know how many kids she has now, but one of the dance moms from the studio has SO many children; I've completely lost count. Now if you want that many kids and can provide for them, that's cool. But that's not the case. She uses the "if God wants me to have a baby, then it will happen" mentality, and I'm just like... um, no hunny. Poor choices are leading to kids you're not adequately providing for. She uses no methods of protection and literally has twins whose room is a fucking closet. Ugh it just really bothers me. What foreign languages were offered to you at school? A whole lot. Only Spanish and I believe French were offered as in-school courses, but there were lots of online classes. If you were required to take a course right now, what would you choose? Photography. Team Biden or Team Trump? Over my dead body would I have voted for Trump. My vote went with Biden. What is an animal native to your country that may not exist in others? Bison are factually exclusive to North America. Note that bison and buffalo are different. What are some of your favorite autumn activities? Taking pictures of fall scenery. <3 What are some of your favorite winter activities? Going out in the snow. :') Especially with a camera. Do you eat a shit-ton the week before your period? uuugggghhHHHHHH yes Wendy's, McDonalds, or Burger King? Wendy's. What's the weirdest question you've ever asked Alexa? I've never asked Alexa anything. Do you prefer your apple cider to be warm or cold? I've actually never had it. Do you prefer your coffee hot or iced? Y'all know the story of me and coffee. Can you sing the alphabet backwards? I can't. Have you ever sent flowers or chocolates to yourself before? Ha ha, no. Is there any meat that you won't eat? Yeah, fish and ANYTHING that comes from a wild animal. Does your cat use anything other than it's scratching post as a scratcher? When we got him a scratcher WITH CATNIP, the lil butthead ignored it. -_- He scratches the carpet instead. Did you go through a vampire craze before? Are you still going through it? Nah. Have you ever forged your parents' signature on a poor test paper, etc? No. Has a bird ever pooped on you before? Omg, no. I'd die. Have you ever been sprayed by a skunk before? No. Are black jellybeans delicious or disgusting? I HATE them. Have you ever rolled down a grassy hill before? I have! I miss that.

[cruddyborderlandstheories]

I've been so renergized to work on H2O au now that I realize I don't have to follow the original storyline. Ever since I realized oh I can just... rewrite this to be better and how I want it I've felt so motivated. Like holy shit! Typhon doesn't exist? I feel alive! Tannis is fixed from being a weird simp lady! The twins are villains because they feel entitled to the destroyers power because they were called to Pandora like every other siren and they're using Jack's and DAHL's old mining operations to force open Pandora instead of Elpis being the key and the whole Machine fuckery? It makes actual sense! I still really don't understand Tyreen's motives in the base game because I felt like she was supposed to be the support/push for Troy's character development and then suddenly she was alone!! No jumping planets every 2 minutes and staying on Pandora so we feel like the game isn't tossing us around willy nilly and it genuinely feels like we're progressing through a single story without the twins being forgotten about for long stretches of the game! And no Maliwan!!! A consistent cast of characters and locations for the main game so I feel connected to them? Hell yeah!!! Bringing back all the bl2 Vault Hunters for help because they KNOW this area of Pandora and old Hyperion bases like we did the BL1 VHs in 2? fuck yeah!!! The gangs back together!!! The twins are the kids of an old Atlas employee and that's where the name Calypso came from and why they knew about the dahl mining operations and where the sites were and that employee is where Troy got his jacket and why they have the FRIGGEN ATLAS COLOR SCHEME!! I know it was briefly mentioned Leda was Atlas but that's never brought up again when it clearly was SO IMPORTANT for the twin's character designs??? Namely Troy's like!!! And it's awful that Nekrotefeyo had like barely any impact on the twins in the base game because you could've just put the whole family on a deserted island and got the same backstory when ITS THE ERIDIAN HOMEWORLD so I just cut that and their concrete family backstory isn't as important as their relationship with each other and how that develops because you know they're the MAIN VILLAINS. Also Nyriad doesn't exist because she's the dumbest ever (I could go on for years, don't let me) and instead those writings you translate are from actual Eridians and Guardians and instead of finding the translator in a fucking Vault (???????) Tannis gives the VHS one she's been working on since BL1 (established lore callback!!!!!!!) and asks them for new translations because she doesn't want to leave the ship. Oh and the Watcher is here!!! Because she deserves it!!!!!!!!! AND MAYA DOESN'T DIE BECAUSE SHE ALSO DESERVES IT AND SO DOES KRIEG AND AVA

AND GUESS WHAT THE ERIDIANS ARE EXPLICITLY BAD GUYS BECAUSE HOW CAN YOU SAY OTHERWISE WITH THE GIVEN EVIDENCE. Because otherwise those lore additions are bad writing and gearbox you wouldn't do that would you ((((:

[avengers-nextgen]

All Things Grow XII

Scout shuffled some of the dusty boxes about to create a clear place on the floor. He wasn’t exactly pleased by the dirtiness of the situation, but he didn’t mind too much. It was time he could spend with his mother. “Where do I start?”

“Anywhere,” Wanda laughed, rolling up the sleeves to her shirt.

“Okay, do I need to ask before I toss it?” Scout asked skeptically.

“Chances are, if you think it’s garbage it probably is.” Wanda sighed, sitting crossed legged on the floor with a trash bag settled to her right. “Honestly, I don’t remember most of this anyways.”

Scout nodded, and pulled the closest box into his lap tearing open the tape. Folding the flaps back he peered curiously inside. “Uhm, this is all old clothing. Are we donating it?”

“Yeah, that’s probably the best thing to do.” Wanda agreed pulling the cap of a sharpie off with her teeth to write ‘Donation pile’ on a sticky note. Then, with an excessive flourish, she smacked it onto the floor. “Dump site established.”

“Okay.” Scout snorted, taking time to folding everything neatly anyways. Once the clothes were settled he kicked the empty box over into the corner.

“Is that an empty box I hear?” Piper’s head poked into the room with her eyes alight in excitement.

“Yes, you can take it, and the other empty ones too,” Wanda laughed.

“Yes!” Snatching up the empty cardboard Piper ran down the hallway. “ALEX! WE CAN MAKE CARBOARD RACE CARS!”

“How’d she hear that?” Scout asked, glancing down the hallway trying to catch a glimpse of Piper.

“I’ve learned over the years that the Starks have impeccable hearing only when it’s something that interests them. Like boxes.” Wanda explained, adding to the clothing pile.

“Huh,” Nodding Scout turned back to the work at hand.

He uncovered an old set of plastic drums that his mother had bought so he would quit stealing Tupperware. Giving it a good pat for old times sake, Scout moved it to the garbage pile. He then moved on to the old books about animals and shapes and colors. Almost all of them were worn thin.

“You could barely read most of the time, but you’d sit in your dad’s lap and make up stories like you were reading the words,” Wanda smiled, taking the books from her son and adding them to the recycling section.

“Guess some things don’t change,” Scout laughed. “Oh, what’s this? Awe, these are Dad’s big sunglasses he got as a crappy Christmas gift! He looked like he had bug eyes when wearing them!”

“Yep, and then you insisted on having a pair. Unfortunately, your uncle Clint decided to indulge you. But I got a good picture out of it.” Wanna mused watching Scout put the oversized glasses on. He really did look like a bug. Snorting, she took them off of his face and tossed them aside. “Dork.”

“Oh oh oh! The puzzles we used to play on vacation!” Scout practically dove into the box to retrieve them. “Star Wars, NASCAR, dolphins, cats, and your favorite being the one of a rabbit.”

“You called it the Bun-Bun puzzle when you were little. Tell you what, we’ll keep those. We can do them together sometime,” Wanda promised. Scout liked the idea and put them back into the box gently.

“I’m done with this set.” Scout huffed, standing and dusting off his hands. “I’m going in again.”

Scout headed over to the cluttered closet which had accumulated most of the tower’s residents’ junk. Standing on his tip toes he managed to tug a box from the upper portion of the stack.

Hours ticked by as the duo gradually made sense of the mess. Occasionally, Vision would pop by to help taking a pause in his work. He also managed to convince the two to go out with him to lunch. One thing about the Maximoff family was their ability to hyper focus.

Once their hunger was effectively satiated, Scout and Wanda set to work again. They were in the final stretch of the clutter having reached the worn, dented, and warped bottom boxes.

Carefully tugging off the lid to a particularly fragile one Scout shuffled through the objects inside. It seemed to be a lot of scrap books and little picture folders. Glancing through them he paused only when he saw something labeled with his name. Scooping it out of the bottom and wiping off the dust, Scout opened the tiny folder to see grey and black film like pictures inside.

At first he was confused. It was nearly impossible to make out what the picture was of, until he shifted into better light. After another moment of contemplation he realized what they were. Ultrasound pictures. Curiosity getting the best of him he studied the murky images as best he could. The bottom ones were clearer than the top having been shielded by the upper images.

He was astonished to find the last four-which he could actually make out- not of one small baby but two. “Hey, uh Mom? Is this ours?”

Scout scooted closer to his mother and passed over the pictures to her outstretched hand. After tossing old and damaged CDs into the garbage, Wanda turned her attention to what her son had handed over. She visibly paled. “Where’d you find these?”

“Over here,” Scout grunted, stretching out onto his side and pulling the box over to them. “I was thinking it might have gotten mixed up with Chloe and Arthur’s stuff when they moved in.”

“Well, uhm...it- it’s not there’s.” Scout looked at his mother in absolute confusion, both by the sudden shift in demeanor, and the waver in her voice.

“I don’t understand.” He frowned taking the images back to inspect them further. He checked the ghost colored date on the bottom and the name printed on the front of the folder once more. Slowly, he began to decipher what exactly was happening. “I’m a twin.”

“Yeah.” Wanda nodded, swallowing hard.

“I’m a twin.” Scout repeated. “How-what...?”

“You had a sister.”

“You’re joking.” Scout felt like he couldn’t breath. “Where-is she...she didn’t make it? I don’t understand.”

Scout studied his mother closely. He wanted an answer but she seemed too upset to say anything for some time. Part of him knew he should feel bad, sorry, and sad even, but all he could feel was angry.

“She was stillborn.”

“And you didn’t tell me?” He asked, unable to keep his voice from rising. “It just never occurred to you to say anything?”

“It was a mutual decision.-“ Wanda started.

“So dad’s in on this too?” Scout cried, clambering to his feet. “Are you serious? I can’t believe you! Were you ever going to mention anything about this?”

He waited impatiently for an answer but none came. He wasn’t going to get one.

“I’m literally so angry right now you have absolutely no idea. I-I need to go before I do something.” Scout fumbled for words. Tugging lightly at his hair he left the room hurriedly behind. His mind was going a million miles a minute.

He had a sister. A sister he hadn’t known about for years. A sister he may not have known about for more than decades. There was a big chance he’d have gone on clueless to this major fact until he died. What was worse, none of his aunts or uncles bothered to tell him. Then again they’d probably sworn not to.

“Hey, Scout! Come check out the carboard race cars.” Orion beamed, jogging up to the other boy. “Oh no. What’s wrong? Did a character die?”

“No.” Scout snapped.

“Wow.” Orion blinked. “Okay, hey, uhm come on.”

Scout allowed Orion to tow him into his room and ease the door shut.

“I need a minute before we talk.” Scout huffed, pacing back and forth at an impeccable rate. But no matter how hard he tried, the anger wouldn’t dissipate. Then, with a burst of anger, he spilled everything in a frenzy that left him gasping for air at the end. “I’m so angry.”

“You have a right to be.” Orion agreed.

“I’m not talking to her ever again. I can’t.” Scout shook his head. Orion noticed the way the other boy’s hands twitched with faint red energy. “Or my dad.”

“Scout, you have to calm down.” Orion frowned. “Think about this. Think about what you’re saying.”

“I am.”

“No you’re not.” Orion spoke firmly. It was so out of the norm that Scout actually paused to stare at him. He’d never seen Orion so authoritative. “You’re going to listen to me for one minute mister. Then, you can talk as much as you want but I think this is important for you to hear.”

“But-“

Orion held up a hand silencing his boyfriend. “Have you thought about your mother’s perspective? Don’t answer- that was rhetorical. You always tell me and the others to think things through. See both sides to the same story. Right now you’re being very hypocritical in not doing that. So, I’m going to help you out. I’m laying this down from her point of view.”

“Fine.”

“Don’t you think that if anyone knows what it’s like to lose a twin it’s her? That maybe she knows the pain about it more than anyone? What if, even if it was done with good intentions but not the best action, she was trying to protect you from that? To keep you from growing up and longing for someone you weren’t ever going to have? To spend a life wondering perpetually about this sibling and who or what they’d be like? What your relationships would be like? Spending years with fantasies that would only hurt you?”

“Orion, most of my life I felt like something was missing. I couldn’t understand why I didn’t fit anywhere.” Scout’s voice trembled. He stared with teary eyes at the ground. “It might have made things easier to know.”

“Yeah, It might have. But don’t you see? Maybe she was trying to do what’s best for you?” Orion asked.

“Yeah,” Scout nodded. Logistically, Orion was right. “But it’s like my mom was trying to forget about it. Like she was hiding that away so she could pretend it never happened. How does someone want or try to forget about their kid?”

“I guarantee you Scout, there’s not a day that goes by where she doesn’t think about your sister.” Orion felt a lump form in his throat. “My uncle Drax? I can’t tell you how many times he’s cried over his family and kids. He’d give anything to have just one of them back.”

Silence settled between the two of them for some time until Orion pulled Scout into a hug. “I feel like an ass Orion.”

“You should, but you should also feel angry. It’s natural. But now you have to go back and talk about it. You can’t ignore it now, and it’s best to understand and attempt to clear the air than let things be left alone.” Orion consoled him, running a hand through Scout’s hair.

— — —

“Mom?” Scout asked hesitantly, knocking on his parent’s door. “Can we talk?”

Seconds later Scout was perched on the end of his parent’s bed listening intently to what they had to say. In turn he explained himself. He learned that Orion’s presumptions were mostly correct and that his sister was supposed to have the name Janice (Jane for short) after a variation of JARVIS, with the middle name Pietra (they had planned on Scout having a middle name after Pietro’s middle name).

It hurt to see his mother cry but he also wondered how long she’d been hiding that burden and how much it wore on her. What struck him the most was seeing his dad cry too. He was normally so stoic that it nearly startled Scout. But at the end of it, after Scout had cried some too, he fell asleep tucked snuggly between the two of them. Both of his parents held onto him like he was the most precious thing in the entire world.

And though he wouldn’t say it, Scout felt a shift in the room. A sense of peace. Something that he hadn’t realized was oddly missing for some time. Maybe he’d needed this, but most of all maybe his parents had. He by no means approved of the secrecy, but he at least understood. And sometimes the best thing you can do for someone is to understand. He’d have to thank Orion later for knocking some sense into him. For now though, he would enjoy the company and the embraces.

[shamelessly4shameless-blog]

The Sand In Your Shoe (pt. 20 - Final)

Thank you to everyone who has read this fic and stayed with it since the beginning. This is the final chapter and I would really love to hear your thoughts so please do stop by and say hi. It’s been such a great journey to take with you all xxxx

Mickey is rocking up onto the balls of his feet, trying to peer over the crowd.

“Can you see them yet?”

“No, but they’ll be here.”

“Where the fuck are they?”

“Relax.”

Ian squeezes his fingers, their wedding bands clinking together. Mickey is anxiously worrying at the corner of his mouth with his incisors and Ian ducks down to press a kiss against the corner of his mouth. Mickey jerks his head irritably but stops fidgeting, a little more at ease.

“There! I see them!”

Ian waves and grins as Mickey freezes to the spot.

“Mick, they’re by the Starbucks, just over …”

“Yeah. I see. Do I look OK?”

Mickey is tugging at his collar and looking very much like he is about to be sick. Ian rests his hands lightly on Mickey’s upper arms, smoothing the fabric of his shirt and giving him an earnest smile that calms Mickey’s nerves instantly.

“You look great and this is going to be fine. If he didn’t want to meet you, he wouldn’t be here.”

“What the fuck am I gonna say, man?”

“Start off with ‘Hello’ and take it from there.”

Ian grins, giving Mickey’s arms and encouraging squeeze before letting go and stepping back out of the way. Mickey’s breath catches and stammers out of him as his eyes light on the young man walking towards them, Svetlana at his side. He is taller than Mickey, and a slimmer build.

*More like Ian.*

Mickey thinks automatically before berating himself for being stupid. He has his teeth set firmly in his lower lip and his bright blue eyes are looking Mickey up and down with obvious eager curiosity. There is a slight swagger in his step but it is tempered by the way he hovers at Svetlana’s elbow, not quite bold enough to break away and walk alone.

“He looks just like you, Mick.”

Ian murmurs behind him and Mickey nods, not quite trusting his voice. He realises he is scowling a bit and thumbs his upper lip, making a conscious effort to neutralise his expression.

Ian waits for Mickey to say something, to call out a greeting or wave. When it doesn’t happen he nudges him pointedly and Mickey clears his throat as if waking from a trance.

“Hello!”

The word sounds weird and kind of final and Mickey winces slightly

“Fuck.”

Yevgeny grins, his mother has told him that his father swears almost compulsively and it is nice to have a fact confirmed.

“Hey. So which of you is my dad?”

Mickey looks momentarily at a loss and then Svetlana slaps her son’s shoulder and rolls her eyes

“Ignore him, he is as stupid as his father.”

“Hey!”

Father and son glare at her as one, twin sets of blue eyes narrowing and then widening when they notice the similarity and hastily looking away. Svetlana gives Ian a small knowing smile and they share a look of mutual understanding. Apparently, Yevgeny has inherited his father’s love of new social situations.

Ian decides a small rescue is needed and steps forward, embracing Svetlana and then holding out his hand to Yevgeny.

“It is so good to see you both! Welcome to Mexico!”

“Thanks, it’s Ian, right?”

Yevgeny shakes his hand firmly and Ian gets a tiny thrill of pride

*Mickey made this kid. This sharp, beautiful boy. He’s Mickeys!*

“Yeah, can I take your bag? We parked right out front.”

Ian takes the rucksack from Yev’s hands and the kid immediately stuffs them into his pockets and switches his gaze back to Mickey, although both are doing their best not to appear too interested.

“Shall we go?”

Svetlana hoists her own bag onto her shoulder impatiently.

“I need a cigarette and fresh air.”

“Yeah let’s fuckin’ go.”

Mickey nods and turns on his heel, grabbing Yev’s backpack from Ian and holding it protectively as he leads the way.

“I must sit in the front, my travel sickness is very bad.”

Svetlana announces as they are loading the bags into the trunk of Ian’s old Ford. Yev shrugs and gets into the back of the car, closing the door behind him.

“I’ll drive.”

“What? No! Talk to your kid!”

“I can’t talk to him for that long! Jesus! I can’t even talk to you for that long!”

Mickey whispers furiously, looking up at Ian with wild, pleading eyes and Ian sighs in exasperation but quietly hands the car keys over.

*

Ian chats away happily as they make their way home. He fills Yevgeny and Svetlana in on local sites and local facts and makes Mickey stop to show them an old fountain outside a church that was apparently blessed by a saint.

Mickey leans against the car door and lights up a cigarette as Ian drags Svetlana closer to look at the inscription but Yev manages to dodge around a pale palm tree and loop back to the car before Ian can snag him.

“Can I bum a cigarette?”

He asks Mickey, looking up from under lowered brows, his voice unnaturally deep as he tries to be what he thinks his father will want a son to be.

“You smoke?”

“Psshh. Yeah! All the time. I fuckin’ love it.”

Yev licks his lip and stands up a little straighter. Mickey smirks slightly and nods to Svetlana

“Your Mom gonna tear me a new one if she sees you doin’ it?”

“Nah, man. She just has to deal.”

Yev puffs his chest out and mirrors Mickey’s posture, holding out his hand for the packet. Mickey snorts and hands it over, watching as Yev fumbles the lighter but finally manages to get it lit and inhales enthusiastically before doubling over coughing. Mickey grins to himself and claps a hand on Yevgeny’s shoulder, as the boy looks up utterly humiliated. Mickey hasn’t forgotten how fragile the ego is at sixteen, nor has he forgotten just how desperate he was to please Terry at every turn.

“Don’t worry about it, Mexican cigarettes are stronger. I should’ve warned you.”

“Oh. Yeah. No it’s cool. Thanks.”

Yev is blushing furiously and Mickey tries to think of a point of reference that they might share. He nods his head toward Ian and Svetlana

“You into history at all? Ian likes it.”

“Nah. What are you into?”

Mickey thinks for a moment. He can’t really say cigarettes, guns, pot, beer and sex. Well … maybe he could but he doesn’t want to. He tries to think of something Yev might approve of.

“I got a canoe a couple years ago, I like to take that out on the ocean.”

“Cool!”

Yev nods enthusiastically and Mickey grins, then clicks his head left and right, noticing with a faint touch of pride that Yev does the same. He begins to wonder if having a kid is really just like having a big puppy that follows you around adoringly and occasionally shits on the rug.

“I went on a boat once, it wasn’t a canoe but it was cool.”

“Cooler than a fuckin’ fountain?”

Mickey arches his eyebrows and nods toward Ian who is in full flow and Svetlana who looks bored to tears. Yev grins shyly and shrugs, scratching the bridge of his nose.

“Yeah, like, no offence to your husband though.”

“Ah, none taken, man. He’s not normally this much of a dork, just really excited to see you I think.”

“Yeah?”

Yev looks suddenly hopeful and Mickey isn’t sure why so he hedges his bets and changes the subject

“Doin’ good in school?”

“I guess. Mom writes you though, right? Tells you about school and stuff? She said she did that…”

“Oh yeah, I mean she does, I was just … I dunno. Just askin’ I guess.”

Mickey draws deeply on his cigarette and looks away and Yev mistakes his discomfort for annoyance

“You can ask! I mean, you paid for, like, more than half of it right? Mom says you always send money…”

Put like that Mickey realises just how flimsy his involvement has been and clears his throat self-consciously.

“Yeah.”

“Thank you by the way. You didn’t have to.”

Mickey has no idea what to do with being thanked for that and awkwardly pats Yevgeny’s shoulder, giving him a small smile.

“You’re welcome.”

The two stand in silence then until Ian finally releases Svetlana and they all resume their journey.

*

Evidently Yevgeny is feeling a little emboldened by having his first proper (sort of) conversation with his father because he is more chatty on the second leg of the journey. Ian can’t get enough of hearing the kid talk. He sounds just like Mickey! They both grew up in South Side so the inflections are the same but it’s more than that. Listening to Yev speak is like hearing Mickey as a teenager but with less threats and swearing. If Mickey had been into football and playing piano (fucking piano! Ian squeals internally) he would have sounded just like this.

“I prefer to compose my own stuff now, ya know? I mean, playing other people’s stuff is great but it is awesome to hear something you’ve imagined coming to life. Do you guys play any instruments?”

Mickey peers at Yev in the mirror and shakes his head

“A little guitar maybe but I suck. Never had the patience to learn.”

“None at all.”

Ian smiles guiltily at Yev, who shrugs and smiles.

“Mom wasn’t sure who I got my music talent from.”

“Not true, all your fine qualities come from me.”

Svetlana laughs, nudging Mickey with her elbow. Mickey tongues his lip and grins at her

“Hey, I changed a few diapers, that probably had positive impact, right?”

“Me too actually!”

Ian pipes up.

“So everyone in this car has seen my ass?”

“Pretty much. Yeah.”

Ian nods cheerfully and Yev sighs, a very familiar long-suffering sigh, blue eyes rolling wearily.

“Great.”

*

Yevgeny nods off about thirty minutes away from Galagers. Mickey checks in the mirror a couple of times, checking the gentle rise and fall of his sons chest.

“Anything I should keep my mouth shut about?”

He asks, looking pointedly at Svetlana. She shrugs and shakes her head

“He knows all there is to know.”

“Could you be a bit more fuckin’ specific?”

Mickey snaps irritably and Svetlana blinks languidly at him.

“He knows he is the product of unwanted sex between his homosexual father and hooker mother, forced by his paternal grandfather who has spent most of his life in prison. He knows his father is a fugitive who married the man who kidnapped him as a baby and lives in Mexico. He knows to keep his mouth shut about these things as well.”

Svetlana ducks her head, lighting a cigarette and then narrows her eyes at the dawning look of incredulous horror Mickey is giving her

“What?”

“ ‘What’? Are you fuckin’ kidding me? Those are fuckin horrible things for the kid to know!”

Mickey turns to look at Ian for reassurance and Ian nods grimly

“Yeah, that’s pretty fucked up, Svet.”

“What part of it is untrue?”

She snaps back at both men and Mickey frowns, shifting in his seat uncomfortably.

“None of it but, you know, I don’t want him thinkin’ he’s a rape baby. That’s a heavy thing for a kid his age to find out.”

“He has known since he was eight.”

“EIGHT?”

Mickey and Ian cry in unison and Svetlana shrugs a little defensively

“He asked why his father never calls or visits. What would you have rather I told him?”

“That I’m a fuckin’ asshole not worth his time! Jesus, Svetlana. Hey, did you let him believe in Santa or did you just slice that one right off the bat too?”

Mickey shakes his head angrily and Svetlana sighs heavily.

“Of course we had Santa, Idiot! But truth is important for children. Yevgeny is a sensitive boy, it is important for him to understand his existence.”

“It’s fucked up, that’s what it is.”

Mickey huffs and turns his attention completely to the road. Ian takes in the tense set of his husband’s shoulders and clears his throat tentatively.

“Perhaps it is good that he knows the truth. Means he gets it, Mick.”

Mickey grunts in response and the three of them lapse into silence.

“I’m sorry if it makes you angry. I thought it for the best.”

Svetlana ventures finally and Mickey flicks his eyes towards her, scanning for sarcasm and finding none.

“It’s fine. It sucks but yeah … it is the truth and … he seems happy enough.”

It is a question but he won’t allow himself to phrase it like one, just in case the answer is not what he desperately hopes to hear.

“He has always been a very happy boy. He wanted for nothing and grew up loved.”

Mickey rolls his shoulders and then sighs

“Well then… thank you, I guess.”

“Life is funny, yes?”

“Yeah. Fuckin’ hilarious.”

Mickey says dryly and Ian smiles slightly as Svetlana gives Mickey’s arm a very light squeeze.

*

For the first week, Yevgeny follows Mickey around constantly. He helps stock the bar, he goes to the store, he is into everything Mickey does and in turn Mickey swallows his natural inclination toward running errands in solitude and does his best to embrace Yev’s interest.

He takes Yev out in the canoe and after basically wrestling the kid into a life preserver, allows him to take it out by himself a few times, though he paces the shore anxiously each time until Yev is safely back.

Yev shadows him so faithfully that Mickey get’s kind of used to it so when Yev doesn’t appear one morning to drive into town, Mickey is a little disappointed. Not surprised, because getting booze and groceries with your dad can only be interesting for so long, right? But still, he has come to value the quiet thirty minute round trip and the easy flow of conversation.

He figures Yev must have gone down to the beach early because he isn’t on the sofa bed and Mickey runs the errand on his own. When he gets back, Svet has gone shopping in town and Ian is in the kitchen making coffee.

“You seen Yev?”

“No, we thought he was with you?”

“Nah. He never showed up.”

Mickey frowns and drums his fingers against his leg, instantly worried. Ian shrugs and smiles, handing Mickey a steaming mug.

“Probably just gone for a wander.”

“Yeah. Hey, the canoe ain’t on the porch, did you store it?”

“No. But that probably answers where Yev is.”

Ian’s cheery lack of concern grates on Mickey’s nerves and he scowls at his husband.

“Well he ain’t supposed to go out without telling me. What if a fuckin’ freak wave catches him?”

“Oh, you mean like all those ‘freak waves’ that we get warned about around here? Relax. He’s fine.”

Ian smirks and Mickey shoots him a withering look

“A freak wave would be a fuckin’ random occurrence, smart ass.”

“Maybe Yev put it away for you? Have you checked the lock-up?”

Mickey admits he hasn’t and Ian ruffles his hair affectionately, ignoring the impatient flapping as Mickey shoos him away

“I like seeing you in protective dad mode, it’s kinda hot.”

“I’m not in … shut the fuck up!”

Mickey allows a small grin to curl the corner of his mouth and takes his coffee and dignity outside, Ian trailing in his wake as he strides around the back of Galagers.

“So if the canoe is in there, are we going to calm down or shall we call the coast guard?”

Ian teases and Mickey is about to retort but a sound catches his attention and he holds up a stilling hand, setting his coffee cup on the ground. There is a muffled thumping coming from the lock-up and what sounds like crying.

Ian clearly hears it to because his eyes narrow and he grabs a plank of drift wood at his feet, nodding to Mickey. Mickey nods back and makes a ‘wait here’ gesture as he takes a firm grip on the door. One … two … three …

Mickey wrenches the door open ready to start swinging fists at the same moment as Ian lunges forward, plank of wood held high. There is a flash of dark skinned calve wrapped around a pale ass and then two high, guilty gasps of shock as the couple roll apart and hastily adjust their dishevelled clothing, scrabbling to their feet as the adults stare at them in horrified amusement.

“Hey Dad! Uh...”

Yevgeny gives his father a wonky smile as colour floods his face and he glances sideways at Christina, who is grimacing back at him.

Mickey glances down between the young couple and his eyebrows, which had shot up to his hairline, lower as he throws out his hands in a ‘what the fuck’ gesture

“Oh come on, man! On my fuckin’ canoe?”

“Sorry.”

Yev hunches his shoulders defensively. For a moment there is silence and then a strangled snort to Mickey’s right cuts through the air. Ian’s whole body is vibrating with suppressed laughter, his chin quivering helplessly.

“Really? You can’t hold your shit together for two fuckin’ minutes and be a grown up?”

Mickey looks up at him, shaking his head in exasperation but his own lip is trembling precariously. Christina grabs Yev’s hand and tugs him forward

“We’ll go ...”

“Oh really, Tina? You don’t wanna finish?”

Mickey quips but there is no heat to his words at all and he is rapidly losing the battle against his laughter.

“Um… No. It’s okay. We can go somewhere else.”

Yev mumbles and as Christina slaps her boyfriends arm, Ian loses his shit completely, doubling over and clutching his middle as he laughs.

“Oh Yev! Oh my God! No paternity test is ever going to be needed, kid. Oh my God!”

Mickey rolls his eyes at his husband before pointing a finger at his son

“I want it spotless in here, and learn to lock the fuckin’ door.”

He catches Ian by the collar and tugs him out

“Hey! Be safe! Condoms are in the bathr...”

“Not now!”

Mickey snaps at his husband, kicking the door shut behind them. Yev and Christina grin guiltily at each other and then have to smother laughs of their own as Ian happily asks when could possibly be a better time.

*

Mickey is scrolling through his phone on the porch a little while later and he glances up at the sound of footsteps.

“Hey.”

Yev approaches Mickey sheepishly, not sure whether he is actually in trouble or not.

“Hey. You walk Tina home?”

“Yeah. I mean, like, it’s the middle of the day but yeah, I did.”

“Good. She’s a nice girl. You treat her right, you hear me?”

Mickey fixes Yev with a stern blue eyed stare but his expression clears as soon as the boy nods.

“Alright.”

Yev scratches the back of his neck awkwardly and takes a deep breath

“You can yell if you want? I fucked up.”

“Nah, you’re fine. My dad caught me fuckin’ someone once, it happens.”

Mickey shrugs and Yev grins at him

“Yeah look how that ended up.”

He gestures at himself and Mickey snorts, amused. It’s a lame joke and kind of distasteful but that’s Mickey’s sense of humour too so how can he blame Yevgeny for having it?

“True.”

They are quiet for a minute and then Mickey coughs and ducks his head, looking up at his son from beneath gently swept brows. He has been thinking about when he would say something since Svetlana told him about Yevgeny’s knowledge of his conception and now seems as good a time as any.

“Hey listen, I … ah … I know you know how all that shit when down, how me and your Mom … anywya you know your Mom loves you?”

Yevgeny nods, his eyes huge and round, waiting for his father to continue.

“Well I want you to know that I love you too. If things had been different, I would have stuck around, Yevgeny. I would have been there. I never held any of that shit against you. You’re the one good thing to come out of it and I’m really glad you’re here. Me and Ian both are. I shouldn’t have left it so long.”

Mickey finishes and straightens to his full height waiting patiently for whatever Yevgeny might want to get off his chest. He owes him that much.

“Thank you but it’s fine. I’m here now and you and Ian are both being really cool to me. And I am sorry I had sex on the canoe.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

Mickey laughs as both of them grin, the tension draining from the atmosphere to be replaced with an easy companionship that is more than Mickey had ever dared hope for.

*

Yevgeny visits most school breaks and after high school he arrives in a battered old pick up to collect Christina for a tour of the USA, with a ring in his top pocket and a smile that melts Ian’s heart. He is young, beautiful and full of determined courage. Mickey hugs his son tightly and then steps back to let Ian in.

“I’m doing it, guys! I’m gonna ask her.”

“You sure?”

“Yeah Dad. I’m gonna wait until we get to New York and then I’m doing it.”

“Alright.”

Mickey nods and nudges Ian who slips Yev an envelope. Yev frowns and peers inside

“Guys, this is too much!”

“It’s a border crossing tradition in this family. When you start a new life, you get a wad of cash.”

Mickey grins and Ian shakes his head with a long suffering sigh, though a small smile is tugging at the corner of his own mouth.

*

Time winds onwards and soon Svetlana is stood in a beautiful Mexican church, cradling baby Miguel in her arms, utterly besotted with her first grandson.

“Ah! We have another set of those blue eyes in the world.”

She coos happily, glancing at her own blue eyed boy who is deep conversation with his aunt and uncle who have come to the church for the celebration.

“Yeah, he’s beautiful isn’t he?”

Ian smiles indulgently down at his grandson and carefully traces one chubby pink cheek with his finger. Yev makes his way over to them, looking at his watch.

“Do you think we should start? The priest is getting antsy”

“No, we must wait for your father.”

“Or what? It didn’t happen?”

Yev quips irritably, oblivious to the startle his words give his mother. Svetlana smothers her smile in the sweet smelling lace of Miguel’s gown.

The church doors open and all present turn to watch Mickey dash up the flagstones, waving his apologies

“Sorry! I had to pick something up.”

He takes the steps up to the font two at a time and produces a sleek box from his pants pocket, handing it to Yevgeny with another grimaced apology and then taking his place beside Ian and Svetlana who jabs him and whispers.

“Do you enjoy being late to christenings or is it just habit?”

“You always ask the weirdest fuckin’ questions.”

Mickey frowns as she happily passes his name sake into his arms. Mickey jiggles his grandson, looking down at him with a mixture of awe and pride.

“He’s perfect, isn’t he? I mean, I know I’m supposed to think that, but look at him!”

Ian kisses the greying hair at Mickey’s temple and nods

“He is. Milkovich’s make very pretty babies.”

Mickey smirks and hands Miguel over to Christina.

“Thanks Dad, and thank you both for the gift.”

She kisses his cheek gratefully and Mickey nods, blushing a little.

“You’re welcome.”

The ceremony is held in the same church as Mandy and Juan married in all those years before and Mickey and Ian take the same seats, their hands linked just as tightly.

The future which has always stretched so far before them zooms into focus and then expands beyond them, the legacy of their love carried on the lips and in the memories of their family.

They walk home from the ceremony, pausing to kick off their shoes when they reach the beach and strolling across the warm sand barefoot, hand in hand. They have walked home this way for nearly twenty years and despite being careful, there is still sand in their shoes at the end of every trip. Neither of them mind and neither could be happier.

[zalrb]

That ending tho {TVD 8x13 Review}

Hey guys! You know the drill, I write everything in real time which means if I make a mistake in the beginning it may be fixed by the end. In this review there will be anti-Damon, anti-Delena, anti-Bamon, anti-Steroline sentiments, probable mentions of misogynoir, anti-blackness and racism, possible mentions of other TV shows, if you do not like it do not read. I did this on my phone so bear with me. OK ready? Let’s go! 1. Seriously, Cade seems like a really petty devil though. “Kill 100 people or your brother’s girl” like … why? Don’t you have some world domination plans going on or…? Like why the interest in Stefan and Damon, what about either of them are particularly special to the devil? It doesn’t make sense to me. At least with Supernatural, everything from season 1 was leading up to Dean and Sam being vessels for Michael and Lucifer, like every season, every plot point fed into that so it made sense, this is just fucking random. 2. I’m legit taking this opportunity to tell people to watch Goblin because it is so much more intriguing than whatever the hell TVD has become. You can watch it on: Drama Fever, Box Asian, Drama 4 U Viki, like so many sites, guys. I mean, I’m just saying, if you want a show that’ll make you cry and keep you in suspense and make you fall in love with characters then that’s it. 3. Yeah Bonnie’s scream of pain totally could’ve been better. Why do I care about Matt again? His family made a bell that could kill sirens? Or witches? And that somehow makes him important? 4. Everyone is having like such lowkey reactions to things. Damon’s reaction to Bonnie telling him that Stefan is human is like “Oh. Damn. OK.” LIKE? Bonnie crying over Enzo is like … I mean I guess. I remember when she cried over Jeremy, that shit looked painful. 5. “Stefan, thank God” sound even less enthused, Caroline. 6. Seriously Candice has NO conviction in her voice. 7. Why are there never any cars on the roads they drive on? 8. Alaric and Matt, the two characters I care about the least in one room. 9. “I don’t think this is just colonial bling” did they seriously make Dorian say that? UGH. Also who says bling anymore? Are we in the early 00s? 10. Why are we acting like this history wouldn’t include the enslaved or First Nations populations? 11. Why is Damon acting like he didn’t kill Tyler? I find this actually unbelievably fascinating. He can stand there and lecture Caroline about how Bonnie wouldn’t answer her calls when he killed Tyler who was supposed to be Caroline’s first love and her childhood friend? LIKE THIS WRITING. I don’t understand this, Stefan is human so he can’t be immortal anymore and therefore is out of the contract so Cade will kill him? Can’t he just make Stefan an immortal human? Like why does he have to be a vampire? He can kill people without biting them, there’s always good old fashioned weaponry. Like what powers does Cade actually have? 12. Cade, why can’t you just get the book yourself? You’re supposed to be the freaking devil. 13. So the cops knew all of these people Stefan killed over two months and we’re just now seeing their presence? 14. How did Abby get to where Bonnie is so quickly? 15. “But don’t worry, Damon’s on it” yeah that isn’t a sentence that inspires confidence, Caroline. Shit. 16. WHY DON’T YOU GUYS JUST PHOTOCOPY THE FUCKING BOOK? 17. Damon’s hair is stupid. 18. Seriously Damon, it was that easy for Alaric to kill you? Why are you terrible at everything? 19. I’m sorry this “funeral” for Enzo is kind of ridiculous. 20. Like there are no side effects to turning human? You’re just human and that’s it. You don’t feel slower, weaker, you can just operate normally? 21. Damon is ANNOYING. Like I’m sorry but his “zingy” one liners just make me want to punch him. SHUT UP. 22. I also don’t get a sense of urgency at all. Everything is moving so slowly. 23. These costumes are TERRIBLE. We’re flashing back to the Maxwell and Bennett ancestors, Zach is playing his ancestor and this black woman is playing the Bonnie’s ancestor and the acting is just done so poorly. 24. Sybil does look good in period clothing though. Even if the period clothing is awful. 25. Lol Caroline and Stefan are so bad at being together. 26. I can’t believe I’m only 20 minutes. 27. “You know him by another name, the devil.” Guys, if people knew him as “the” devil, then they would know him also as Satan and Lucifer or any other religious name for the devil, you can’t just pretend like religion isn’t a factor. 28. Why would Sybil tell Ethan what the bell would do? 29. So Bonnie opened the door to hell with her scream, yeah this is Supernatural. 30. Wait, why does the cure make a human reject vampire blood? How does that work? 31. “Sirened to ring the bell” it’s just compulsion. 32. These flashbacks are actually so fucking awful. 33. Matt just die of a heart attack. 34. How can vampire blood cure a heart attack but not cancer? 35. Caroline’s “you’re going to live” speech is SO WEAK. 36. All they had to do was photocopy the fucking book to know how to kill Cade. 37. Seriously Caroline and Stefan just feel like really close roommates. 38. OH SHUT UP ABOUT HOW BONNIE IS BEING SO STRONG, let her CRY, let her GRIEVE, let her just fucking FEEL. 39. Matt kissing Bonnie on the forehead looks really weird. 40. And seriously he’s not even going to STAY with her? The supposed love of her life died and no one is going to just BE with her? Remember when I said she would grieve alone? 41. “Thank you for saving my life.” “Oh that, I do that because it’s Tuesday.” LMFAO OK, DAMON. 42. KAI KAI KAI KAI OMG IT’S KAI KAIAKAIAIoisno oaf oafn oang og osg ! And he shows up like a BOSS. Yeah this episode wasn’t the worst episode of the season but it was still entirely boring. I wish we could’ve seen Stefan’s apology to Bonnie and also where are the twins, who would Alaric entrust to keep them safe when the last person he trusted was a siren who kidnapped them? Does Caroline know Alaric is back? Does she get regular updates on her kids? But whatever because KAI IS BACK AND I’M SUPER FUCKING EXCITED DESPITE MY BETTER JUDGEMENT.

[laurentuck]

Jessica Biel, Kerry Washington, Pink, and more celeb moms on post-baby body pressure

Jessica Biel spoke out about the pressure to drop post-baby weight at The MAKERS Conference. (Photo: Getty Images)

Until recently, Jessica Biel didn’t know a lot about reproductive health. “When I was thinking about starting a family — I mean, obviously I know how to do it — but I didn’t quite know how to do it,” the actress admitted on Tuesday during The 2018 MAKERS Conference.

But it’s what came after she gave birth to son Silas, now 2½, that was a “real shocker.”

“This idea of ‘I need to lose weight as fast as I possibly can and be skinny again and look fabulous again,’ and there’s so much pressure from outside and it’s kind of like this mom competition to see how fast you can be skinny and it’s actually the worst possible thing you can do to produce a future baby,” she said. 

However, Biel’s not the first celebrity to speak out about the pressure moms feel to drop their post-baby pounds. Keep reading for more from Pink, Anne Hathaway, Blake Lively, and other prominent parents. 

Pink

In a mirror selfie from the gym shortly after having her son Jameson, the singer shared on Instagram, “Would you believe I’m 160 pounds and 5’3″? By ‘regular standards’ that makes me obese. I know I’m not at my goal or anywhere near it after Baby 2 but dammit I don’t feel obese. The only thing I’m feeling is myself. Stay off that scale ladies!”

Zoe Saldana

“You have to remind yourself that everything takes time. I feel bad for those women who are desperate and want to bounce back three months after having a baby,” the actress said after having her twins. “It’s more like — ‘Breastfeed! Stay home! Sleep! Your kid is only 3 months old, what are you going to the gym for? Catch up on f—king reruns of some sort!’ I definitely took a break and trusted that my body was going to bounce back when it was ready. I never wanted to push myself.”

Kerry Washington

After the Scandal star’s manager made a comment about Washington returning to her pre-baby weight, she clapped back. “She meant it as a total compliment, but we had this great conversation where I was like, ‘You know what? I try really hard not to use that language, because it’s not about going backward in life,'” she told Self. “I’ve been really focused on not being ‘back’ to anything, but being the best version of myself right now.'” She added, “My body is the site of a miracle right now. I don’t want to be pre-miracle.”

Kim Kardashian

“After I had Saint, I decided to set goals for myself,” the reality star wrote on her blog. “I was motivated, but it was tough! It isn’t easy to just bounce back. I was so jealous of women who had these cute little baby bellies and would gain 25 pounds — and then, a few weeks after giving birth, somehow look exactly like they did before they were pregnant… That’s not me… As North gets older, she’ll start to be more aware of herself and her body. Her attitude toward her body is directly related to my own, so it’s my responsibility to make sure she understands that positive body image comes from having a healthy self-esteem. We all have our hang-ups and things we might want to change, but my curves make me who I am. So I embrace my body and the changes I’ve gone through. If anything, those changes remind me of what I’m able to create with my body: two little angels that I love beyond words.”

Keira Knightley

“I have to say, as a woman, you hate certain parts of your body. You go through those periods where you look in the mirror and you think, ‘Oh, if only I had different legs or arms or whatever,” Knightley told ELLE Magazine in September 2015. :You go through pregnancy and labor and then feeding the kid and you go, Wow, my body is totally amazing, and I’m never going to not like it again, because it did this, and this is fucking extraordinary.”

Anne Hathaway

“There is no shame in gaining weight during pregnancy (or ever),” Hathaway wrote on Instagram. “There is no shame if it takes longer than you think it will to lose the weight (if you want to lose it at all). There is no shame in finally breaking down and making your own jean shorts because last summer’s are just too dang short for this summer’s thighs. Bodies change. Bodies grow. Bodies shrink. It’s all love (don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.) Peace

Drew Barrymore

“After making two babies, holy cow, does your body do some crazy stuff! It’s hard to stay positive and love yourself,” Barrymore told Glamour in 2015. “You feel like a kangaroo with a giant pouch; everything’s saggy and weird. But you think about how beautiful it is that you’re able to make children. When I lose sight of that, I exercise, read Dr. Seuss’s Oh, the Places You’ll Go!, and spend time with my kids. Then I start to see things that are bigger than myself.

Blake Lively

“I’m still 15 pounds heavier so it’s nice that people think I lost my baby weight,” the Gossip Girl said in 2015, according to the BBC, after giving birth to her first daughter James. “I still haven’t lost a pretty good chunk of it, but it’s also the pressure—who cares? There’s pressure to lose it, or women are supposed to look like they did when they were 19 right after you give birth to your child, I think it’s silly.”

She also said in an interview with Yahoo Australia, “It’s so unfair though, because it’s so celebrated,” she said. “It’s like, this is what someone can look like after a baby. I think a woman’s body after having a baby is pretty amazing… You don’t need to be Victoria’s Secret-ready right away because you just did the most incredible miracle that life has to offer. I mean, you gave birth to a human being! So I would really like to see that celebrated.”

Eva Mendes

“I feel like we can be really hard on each other. That whole term ‘bounce back after pregnancy’? I don’t like that terminology,” Mendes said on the Wendy Williams Show in September 2015. “Look, if you get into the bikini two weeks after, good for you, but that wasn’t me. And that’s OK. I feel like we as women need to support each other more.”

Kristen Bell

When asked about the topic on The TODAY Show, Kristen Bell had the best response: “Who cares?” She continued, “I didn’t lose my baby weight for over a year. And when I look down, even now, at the extra skin on my belly, it’s a reminder that I’ve done something spectacular. It’s a reminder that I’m a superhero. And I’m proud of it.”

Hillary Duff

“So you feel the pressure because of what people write about you. Not that they’re personal attacks, but obviously, when you see “Hilary Debuts Post-Baby Body!” you want to tell people, ‘No, actually, I was just going out to get a coffee,'” she explained to Parents. “There are some women who look the same right after — I think they are freaks of nature! I don’t know how that happens. I’m not one of those people. It takes your body nine months to get there — really 10 months. So I’m trying to be patient but I’m working hard. And I think now more than ever, I appreciate my body and what it’s done for me.

Read more from Yahoo Lifestyle: 

The oldest National Park ranger in the U.S. is 96 — and she has the best nickname

Natalie Portman breastfed her daughter during a meeting and it was apparently ‘elegant’

Oscar nominee Emily V. Gordon was told by a photographer to ‘get sassy’ — then the best thing happened

Follow us on Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter for nonstop inspiration delivered fresh to your feed, every day.

[shakesonaplane]

Throwback Blog Post: “Top 5 Airplane Personalities”

Season’s greetings my intrepid band of misfits. I hope the coming weeks bring some sort of wonderful holiday cheer and joyous good times. If you’re like me, you’re huddled around something warm right now as the Northern Hemisphere plunges into the cold abyss that is the winter (#brr). In my meandering on the internet and my old archives, I somehow stumbled upon a blog I wrote from back in College / University. In reading through my realized how frightfully embarrassing that whole thing is (not that this is any less embarrassing mind you), but I did find a gem that really brought a smile to my day.

So instead of some trip recap (and because I’m lazy), I’d like to offer you a throwback post from 2008 where I decided to tell the world that I’m a pathological liar when I travel. Given the upcoming increase in your travel plans, I figure what better time to remind everyone that airplanes are sincerely a fun place to make some new friends. So, without much further ado, I present an “anshubhaiyya” special from 9 years ago on how much I enjoyed messing with people on airplanes as a young adult.

In case you’re wondering what I looked like in 2008 when I wrote all of this insanity (only things that haven’t changed are the hairy arms)

Hi I’m Ken Adams - Top 5 Airplane Personalities

I love airports…well, I take that back, I don’t like being in them when I’m in a rush or when I’ve just had my fourth cavity search, but I love to people watch. When you go to an airport, everyone is so busy and so hustled that people’s real, unfriendly selves come out. Whether its the angry mother with her four kids being rowdy, who she normally handles well but given the lack of Sesame Street or toys, she’s stuck keeping them occupied…or the busy business person who doesn’t seem to notice there are other people in lines or on escalators and always has a damn bluetooth headset attached (btw its funny to talk as the other part of their conversations and watch their reactions)…or the harassed traveler who is stuck in a place they don’t want to be because of weather and they’re either yelling or sleeping due to exhaustion from too much yelling…

But, when you get on that plane, you’re forced to sit and be nice to a person who is far too close for comfort…and if you’re like me you’re usually alone in traveling so you don’t know this woman/man and have to be cordial and polite for any amount of flight time while all you wish was that you could land and do something mildly interesting…..the best, though, is how people tend to strike up conversations with each other in order to make the time fly….maybe even asking thought provoking questions but usually just trying to keep the conversation going because, let’s face it…if you start and stop abruptly it’s just awkward

So, this guy sitting next to you on the flight, they don’t know you and chances are you’ll never meet them again….so what do I do? I lie….I make up who I am and where I’ve come from and what I’m doing because, to me, that’s more interesting…the more exciting you are the more fun you can have with people and in turn, the more fun they have….it’s fun to meet someone interesting, so much so that you feel better about your trip given a fun tidbit of information or a cool personality (see Fight Club)…

1) The Child Prodigy

A lot of us like to travel as comfortable as possible, and in doing so we tend to wear shirts, hoodies or hats that have our school’s name on them….so usually a good way to start a conversation with this person is to see their age and ask, “oh do you go to school there?”…to which one can simply reply…”oh no, I actually teach”…the cover story I used was that I was a child prodigy and graduated high school at age 14, college at age 17 and got my Ph. D. last year (usually I’m about 21 or 22)…people are usually astounded and I say “no, it’s not that great, I don’t have tenure yet, just an assistant professor” and when asked about what you teach, make up some information about the last final or test you took and run with it….whether you’re an economics guru or a biological whiz or whatever…this one is always fun because the first look you get is the “what the hell?” look to which you can laugh and say “I know, sounds crazy…”

2) The identical twin

This particular way doesn’t usually work, unless you sit next to someone who barely recognizes you (someone from school or an extracurricular or someone that hardly knows who you are)….this is actually what started, for me, the lying on airplanes…One day when I met a girl I recognized from high school debate (nerdy, yes), she ended up sitting next to me in the small hometown airport….she was a HUGE ass kisser/gunner/bitch/etc. but wanted to befriend me on the plane….she led with a “have we met”…so I countered with the “no, I’m sorry” and when she said I looked familiar and had I done debate I said, “oh, no that was my twin brother Abhishek….yeah my name is Neil, I didn’t do all that…he did”….after which I spoke about myself in the third person to her and just basically made up whatever I liked…where I went to school, how I was doing, what I had said about debate/her/Harvard (where she went)….sometimes talking about yourself as someone else to someone else who actually thinks they know your original self can be fun…write that down

3) The Arranged Marriage-er

This one always kills because of the ethnic card I have…see being a young Indian man flying to and from random cities can get really annoying…people tend to glare at you, almost afraid you’re a ticking bomb…so when you sit down next to your John/Jane Doe…you start to fidget, act uncomfortable, and ultimately ask them if they’re married (it usually helps if they are)…when they reply, you start asking interesting, thought provoking questions about married life in America (accented is a plus), and ultimately end the line of questioning with…”well that was probably easier bc you met your spouse well before”…after they try to figure it out….you start with the ethnic barbaric nature so many people think exists….I’m only 22 but it’s a good marriage age…my parents found a wonderful person from India who is our caste and all the stars and signs agree we’re a great match…I’ve met her a few times but I’m on this plane to go to my wedding…they live in ______ (insert town) and basically I’m going to be married in a few days….then just sit back and watch as they ponder the crazy arrangements, they congratulate you, or they are shocked….my ultimate goal is to have a champagne toast or something with the cabin after several people hear about it…but yes, this is one of my favorite airplane personalities bc marriage makes people happy

4) The Professional Dancer

This tends to work best if you’re flying to and from a major city….I first used this on a trip from LAX to Chicago…sometimes when people ask you what you’re doing in a certain city, this is a good way to go….it’s hard to be a professional singer or actor or athlete because more people will attempt to look for you or even know if you’ve been in certain things (unless you want to be totally aspiring but that’s no fun)…so I went the dancer route…you’re traveling from your home in City A to a concert in City B for _______ (insert obscure musician) in which you’re a backup dancer….you can start talking about influences, styles and even tell the person of where they might’ve seen you (“If you ever see a video with a group called N’Sync…called Pop, I was in the background of the ____ scene)…then you can start talking about the business, people you know, potential sexualities….it’s always quite fun

5) The Young Entreprenuer

Sometimes you find yourself sitting on flights and you’re dressed better than you should….you might be wearing a suit or just a nicer outfit than most and we all tend to own nice electronics like iPods and things…so this one I’ve devised on a trip back from NYC when I changed into my only clean (but very dressy) clothing…go with what you like but I tend to start my young millionaire personality as an online store that sells something really random…chairs are a good one, also random software, designer kitchenware, video gamer sites…basically anything that most people wouldn’t look at as millionaire making….when people ask what you do you say, oh well I’m just outta college but I’m working on my company, which I started in HS…right now we’re private but we’re getting enough buzz to warrant publicly selling to google/ebay/apple, whatever…basically running with the idea that you’re set for life and all you want to do is make more money…it’s always a good idea to have a company name in mind in case, but usually you can be small enough to be under the radar of most people….being a young millionaire can be fun too, because you can talk about the dream cars you own, the trips you’ve taken and, if you have an elderly person, it’ll melt their heart if you say you’ve made it so you’re parents don’t have to work anymore…

…Just to let you know, I don’t think lying is a great thing to do…the idea is that having fun is important and this person who you’ll never see again will only understand you as that interesting person they met on a plane….in a way you’ll brighten their day…people usually live their lives in such an ordinary, routine and mundane fashion that a little spark is always fun….so if you get away with your personality, you’ve made someone’s day more interesting and made yours more fun…it’s a win-win….

Well, that was generally an odd experience to re-read :) Hope you enjoyed that little trip down memory lane and have some fun ideas for what you’d like to do on your next holiday travel flight. Next year I’ll be back with loads more travel and hopefully some great stories to go along with them. Till then, Merry Christmas/Hanukkah/whatever it is you celebrate!

Cheers (and, for the throwback, jsk)! Abhishek

[skittykittie]

Mile to Kaiyuan

July 29, 2015 (written actually on this day)

Oh my gosh, my days are already starting to blur together. I began writing about today, but realized I was actually recounting YESTERDAY morning instead of today. (I even used the same words to describe it!)

Anyway~ This morning I woke up at 7:30, not feeling like going out to find something to eat. I had the sweets I had bought at the bakery from the night before so I filled myself with dantat and the sweet rolls with pork in the center. I know, so nutritious, right? I'm really not that into breakfast.

After finishing my snacks, Donna returned from breakfast and we packed our stuff. Like the day before, we put all of our things into Dr. D's room and checked out. We made our way to the hospital by about 8:15 am. As we drove through the city to the hospital, I was surprised that I didn't recognize where we were. I felt like I had seen a good portion of Mile when I came with Jason a few days before, but I guess Mile was larger than I had first thought. 

When we got to the hospital, we were received by a couple of the staff on the first floor. We were taken up to a floor that was pretty empty. I'm not sure what the floor was supposed to be, but there was a large meeting room that suggested it was mostly used for more business than patient care. We were taken into this room for our meeting with the hospital staff. Though the arrangement of desks and chairs suggested that this room had not been used in a while (nor was it prepared for us, we had to arrange the tables and chairs ourselves prior to starting the meeting), and half of their staff came without white coats on, it still felt more "official" than the small cramped room in Luxi.

The meeting went similarly to the day before, Fangqi gave her proposal and the reason for our visit, they listened and asked a few questions, then the contract was signed. There was a lot of picture taking at this meeting. This seemed to be a bigger deal than Luxi.

Then it was time to get ourselves set up. Sophie and I got stuck in the hallway between the waiting room and the ultrasound room. It was alright, though, as long as it was away from the waiting room. We also had enough desk space to put our new toys, candy, and the triage equipment. Most of the patients we saw were babies, it was really fun yet challenging. Babies don't like it when you take their vitals. But the toys that Sophie and I had picked out proved to be fairly successful in distracting them! Good idea, Sophie.

A big difference between today's clinic and yesterday's was that the hospital staff was hovering over our shoulders. It was a bit annoying because I felt like we were being judged. They also didn't quite understand our system we had going and were sending us patients before we were ready. They were a big help with managing the sign-in list, though. They gave all the patients numbers and made a roster of the order of patients.

We got through most of our patients for the day before we were called in for lunch. It had been a busy morning, but it was nice to have a break. We didn't have to be back to see patients until about 1, and it was only early noon when we finished eating. One of the men that had greeted us that morning offered to take us around the NICU of the hospital. Most of us were extremely eager to see it, including myself.

Now, I had only been to two hospitals in China so far, but I had the impression they are less sanitary than American hospitals. However, the NICU was probably the cleanest place in the entire city. Donna even commented that it seemed more strict than the American NICUs (I've never been in one, so I can't agree or disagree). They didn't even let parents come in to see their child. Instead, they had cameras set up at each bed so parents could at least watch their child via video streaming. They dressed us up in pre-packaged and sanitized hospital gowns, put shoe covers on us (the shoe covers weren't even allowed to touch the ground in the entryway), we had to put our hair up and wear hair nets, face masks, and of course wash our hands up to our mid-forearm. All of these procedures were for the sake of reducing risk of giving the infants any other illnesses.

We were brought inside a large room with probably 20 small "baby cages." Many of them sadly were filled with infants. I have never seen so many newborns in my life. They were all so tiny and precious. Our tour guide was a nurse who worked in the NICU. Unfortunately, I couldn't understand what she said, so I just observed and asked Jessica questions when I could think of them.

We didn't spend a long time in the NICU since there wasn't much to see past that room. It was definitely cool to see, though. We exited back through the way we came, disposed of our protective gear, and headed back to the clinical site to see the remainder of our patients. In total we saw about 12 kids today. Many more of them gave me the impression of "village" people. I think it's because Mile is a bit more rural than the last place. Our last patient was a cute little boy, about 2 years old? He had a twin brother, too. They were so much fun. Sophie and I played with them once we finished triage.

Once he was taken into the ultra sound room, Sophie and I had a lot of spare time. Apparently our car to pick us up for the next place wasn't supposed to come for a few more hours. We spent our time in our corner talking about life. Well, mostly me answering her questions about college and life after high school. I'd like to think we bonded a lot during that time. I can tell she is a very driven kid, but still has a lot of years of experience to gain. I hope I can be a good example for her! Gosh, I'm getting old...

At 4:30, we packed up the ultrasound room and went downstairs. We were met by two cars, one regular sized one and one large van. I was ushered into the van with Dr. Li, Sophie, Landy, Fanqi, and Zhangrui. It was a bit squished, but somehow we were able to load all of our equipment and luggage that was at the hotel. We were headed to our next city called Kaiyuan. Despite being squished in the back of the van, I was able to sleep the whole way there. I don't even remember how long the drive was.

I woke up to the noise of the side door opening. Had we arrived? I opened my eyes, and all I saw was an aggressive looking Chinese man dressed in a military uniform staring at me, barking something that I didn't understand. I was confused because he was looking straight at me, but I had no idea why or what he was even saying.

All I was able to say was, "Huh..?" as I took out my earbud that was playing music. Thankfully, Dr. Li was sitting next to me and answered for me, "We're from Kunming." The others followed her example saying their respective cities. "Harbin." "Shanghai."

The guy glanced around our car and nodded, closed the door, and we were back on the road.

My mind took a moment to process what had just happened... we had gotten a car inspection. Wow. I guess they are pretty strict here in China. I'm glad I'm Chinese and he believed we were all natives. I wondered what happened to Donna's car. Did they stop them, too? Did she get interrogated? I was a bit afraid that would happen again in the future and I wouldn't be so lucky to get away with saying I'm a Chinese citizen.

I barely had time to try to go back to sleep because soon we arrived in the next city- Kaiyuan. Kaiyuan was beautiful. There was a beautiful view of the mountain sides when you looked down the street, and the city was fairly well kept up. We were in a busier part of the city, but I could tell it was overall more suburban than the previous two cities.

We checked into the hotel with a whole crew of hospital staff waiting to greet us! Wow. There were maybe 3 or 4 of them. They helped us unload the car and bring the luggage upstairs. Afterwards, they ushered us all to dinner at the hospital. That was good with me, I was starving.

We were loaded into a few cars and taken down the road to the Kaiyuan county hospital where we'd work in the morning. It was a pretty short distance, actually. I wish I could have gotten to see more of the city.

Anyway, we were led through the hospital cafeteria into the back where there were a number of private dining rooms. We entered into the largest one, where many more people were sitting, waiting for our arrival. They stood up and clapped to welcome us as we entered. There were 2 large round circular tables waiting for us with hot food and plates and bowls all set up for us. There were even a couple of waiters/cooks. Talk about a welcome party!

The hospital staff divided us all up, half of ChinaCal at one table, half at the other, and then did the same with their staff. I sat at the "foreigners" table with Jess, Dr. D, Donna, Fangqi, and Shanshan.

The food was delicious! It was the first not-muslim food I think I had eaten in awhile. We also had local wine to accompany the meal. And of course with wine came toasting and jingjiu*. I'm glad I had practiced this custom with Jason and his family in Mile. If not, I would have been so confused with what was happening. It was also slightly embarrassing because, like last time, I barely understood what people were saying when they toasted me.

It was still very nice, though. It created a lot of laughter and brought joy to our meal. I only had one glass of wine by the end of the night, but I could feel my face getting flushed as it usually does whenever I drink. It was slightly embarrassing, especially because one of the staff seemed to be taking a liking to my natural blush and kept toasting me to drink more. Donna told me after dinner she thought he was trying to hit on me.

...Awkward.

Anyway. After we finished dinner, the main hospitality guy took us around the outpatient ward on a little tour. He was very proud of this building because it was their newest addition to their hospital. It was pretty nice, though to me it kind of felt like a mall. It was very open in the center with escalators going all up and down the center.

We were able to go in to see their ultrasound equipment, too. That was more interesting for Donna than the rest of us, but we were able to get a glimpse into the patient care rooms.

After the tour, half of us opted to walk the short distance back to the hotel with our guide. I was one of them. I wanted to enjoy the cool evening mountain air. I was able to slightly keep up with the Chinese conversation, but half the time talked with Sophie about other random things. She told me that one of the staff members she sat with at dinner had invited her to see the maternity ward, and if there was a child birth, she could observe. She had asked Dr. D for permission to go after lunch, and he said yes. He also suggested to her I go with her... so... I guess I was going to the maternity ward tomorrow. I wasn't too thrilled at the idea of watching a childbirth and secretly hoped it would be empty when we went in.

We got back to the hotel and wrapped up for the day. We had work to do in the morning!

*Jingjiu: It is a Chinese tradition called jingjiu. It is when people take turns offering drinks to and for certain reasons, usually to one individual at a time.

[t-the-ring-master]

My favorite is when they say it’s an identical twin brother and sister and I laugh because people who know basic science and biology knows that’s not possible. (If you are male and female assigned at birth twins you are not identical you literally are just siblings and that’s why you look alike lol.)

Watched a video on ‘what was your fanfic secret’ or whatever

And a surprising amount was “I pretended I was an identical twin pair that wrote on the same account so I could do multiple stories with different genres for no reason”

And now I’m here wondering how many readers think me and my sister aren’t real and just a kid pretending to be two people