#oh they know they just hate to admit it

[arkangelo-7]

Lex Luthor hates Superman, Lex Luthor hates the Justice League, bla bla bla… You know who Lex must really hate? Bruce Wayne.

Because he knows that bitch is Batman. He’d worked it through that big brain of his and he’s without a doubt certain that the same idiot who spilled champagne on him last New Year’s Eve moonlights as the Batman.

But he can’t fucking prove it. So he’s resigned to a lifetime of having to make stilted conversation filled with double meaning while Brucie just flutters his eyelashes and pretends to be a ditz. And Lex just has to sit there and take it, because Bruce knows that Lex knows and absolutely uses that knowledge to fuck with Alex at every opportunity—he says the absolute shittest, godawful pickup lines and flirts to his heart’s content, knowing full well that he helped Superman kick Lex’s ass last week and that Lex knows it was him.

[happyk44]

Jason who immediately loses respect for people who don't own up to their mistakes vs Annabeth who would rather die than admit she made a mistake

[skretri]

the silly pathetic guy ♡

[maegalkarven]

I just thought of the most hilarious next protagonist of Baldur's Gate saga.

(Note what most of the outcomes used as background info here come from the characters' "good" endings. Proceed with caution.)

A child of Durge and Gortash, killed inside their parent's womb when Durge denied Bhaal, resurrected alongside them by Jergal.

A child any of The Dead Three can lay a claim on because they are:

A child of previous chosen of Bane

A child of Bhaalspawn, a bhaalspawn themselves, albeit striped of that when Bhaal took his essence from Durge, killing them instantly.

DIED before even being born, so clearly Myrkul's subject.

Resurrected by Jergal, so there's ties to that as well.

Can be compelled to follow any of The Dead Three paths, or try to play them and set them against each other, or follow Jergal, or forge their own path.

Essentially a child with no fate.

Can look either as Durge (and be any race Durge presented as) or as Gortash.

The last possibility bringing unique encounters and dialogues and character never knowing they can use being Lord Gortash's child to their advantage or ppl they meet were their father's enemies and they need to dash.

Having ties to different fractions depending on who Durge romanced or if Durge not romanced anyone.

Being raised in Underdark if their parent ended up with Minthara.

Same with unascended Astarion, + lots of acquainted spawns in the Underdark.

Being raised in Hell if their parent went to Avernus with Karlach.

Being raised either in Waterdeep if Gale is their stepfather or with Duke freaking Ravengard as a step- grandfather.

Having ties with Selunites if Shadowheart is a woman they call mother.

Being raised in the nature and having Druids call them their own if Durge and Halsin were involved.

Being raised amongst githianki revolution if Lae'zel was their parent's choice of heart. Having their mother leading a rebellion against a god.

Having lots of unique content regarding that.

Possible companions include:

Arabella

Mol

Yenna

That girl who was kidnapped and eaten by auntie Ethel.

Mayrina's child.

A child of lady Janneth and Oscar.

One or several of Jaheira's grandchildren.

[catocappuccino]

It's been a year since I redrew that one Snorkmimi render...

So yeah I did it again ofc I would, why oh why wouldn't I? Tee hee silly meee

Attaching the 2023 redraw and og cause- uh- I donno, because yes, why not!!!

[pettytiredandjewish]

Some of y’all need a reminder on who invented comics… I’ll give you a hint- Jews were the one to create comics. So if y’all are boycotting the new Captain America movie then maybe you should just stop reading comics too since it’s a Jewish invention. Im only saying this because y’all love throwing huge fits when you find out something you like was created by a Jew.

[tennessoui]

https://www.tumblr.com/willowcrowned/753125073710415872?source=share

My perception of wine is forever tainted

(post of wine and rock licking pairing guide)

i suddenly cannot remember if i ever gave anakin a major in the wine party au - could he be a geologist?? i love the idea of anakin bringing literal rocks to a fancy wine party night just so that all of obi-wan's snobby friends have to lick them.

he thinks he's won, but obi-wan, the asshole, has been studying up on geology ever since he found out that anakin was studying the subject, so he takes a very delicate lick of his fucking. slate rock and he's like 'actually i think a limestone would taste better with this riesling because of the undertone of brightness and freshness that the rock has.'

and anakin has to sit there through obi-wan's fucking stupid pink tongue flicking over the rock and then his stupid KNOWLEDGE of ROCKS and WINE and it takes him like 2 whole bouts of sex before he's like 'wait were you studying up on wine to impress me????'

and obi-wan has to think of a cover real fast

thankfully rocks and soil actually really do affect grapes grown for wine. so he has an excuse. even though the truth is he has never cared more about geology than since anakin entered his life <3

[rustedleopard]

Hate to be a Debbie Downer but I don't think Chujin would like Ben 10 (or at least not be openly obsessed with it).

I feel like if you told him the premise of the show (A 10-year old human boy gains the power to turn into 10 aliens (which are kinda sorta monsters) and he fights other aliens with this ability), he'd scoff and say "This show is an appeal to humanity's naturally violent tendencies!" and "They're indoctrinating children! Humans find the idea of child soldiers entertaining!" and "This show discriminates against monstrous beings!" and all of these other dramatized nit-picks about it, despite the fact that it's a fictional cartoon whose target demographic is tween boys.

(I just think that all monsters should take human media a bit too seriously in one way or another. IDK if he would actually believe that a human could turn into a bunch of aliens with a wrist watch, but I do think he'd take the premise of "a child fights fantastical battles against aliens" too literally. Kinda like those parents who think their kid playing a video game where you kill fictional monsters is "corrupting the youth.")

Now, if you put an episode of Ben 10 on the TV, I do think he'd stop whatever he's doing to stand behind the couch, arms crossed/in his pockets in that "I am interested in what's going on on the TV but not enough to commit to actually sitting down" sorta way. He'd probably scoff and roll his eyes whenever Ben does something stupid because Ben is a 10 year-old and this boosts his ego a bit because "ha, I'm way smarter than this kid, I could see how that action would go wrong from a mile away. If this is how humans are on the Surface, I'd easily be able to crush them. Especially with my serum and Axis." But the split second you catch him in the act of watching, he pretends that he was looking for something in the room and then walks out.

[xxplastic-cubexx]

Magneto would love lumpia meanwhile Charles would have his Bibingka and Puto Bungbong hehe

Happy Holidays!

asks that remind me my bitchass friend kayla promised to make me *puto two years ago and she still hasnt

*puto is a filipino rice cake i do know it also means 'bitch' in spanish we do not have to address that thank you

[scorpiusmalfoylovesoscarwilde]

NAH NO ABSOLUTELY NOT TELL MEEE TEEEELLLLL MEEEEEEE WHY I WAS PEACEFULLY SCROLLING TIKTOK AND I SEE ONE COMMENT SECTION FLOOODEEDDD WITH SHIT LIKE "astoria greengrass hate club lol" "astoria haters ⬇️⬇️⬇️" "I can't stand astoria" WHAAATTT WHAT THE FUUCCKK WHAT ARE YOU EVEN ACTUALLY FUCKING TALKING ABOUY WHTA THE VBGAGSJSLW I CANNOT EVEN COMPREHEND WHAT THE FUCK YOU ARE ON ABOUT IM GONNA FUCKINGFHFHFJFUFKM WHAT DO YOU EVEN MEEAAANN SHUT THE FYCK UPP OH MY GOD WHAT WHAT DID SHE EVER DO?????

anywayz number one astoria greengrass defender love her so much I will skin your whole body with my teeth if you try and fuck with her that is MY GIRL <3<3<3

[zosonils]

🫵PHOTON TRIVIA

o7 YOU GOT IT BOSS!!

as much as i love making robots who Think Like Robots there's none of that here! photon is the ghost of someone real shoved into a metal body and just as unpredictable and irrational as any meat brain is. too obviously mechanical to be a person, too painfully human [mobian. whatever] to be a robot. [and don't you worry, i've definitely thought about how this in-between existence would collide with other robots in the series. give me a minute to stop crying every time i think about mecha sonic mkii and then i'm sending his ass to scrapnik island]

he derisively calls sonic 'meat sonic'. at first it was in response to being called 'metal sonic,' but now that he has his own name it's just this bizarre orphaned punchline kept alive by some mix of complacency and spite. for what it's worth meat sonic thinks it's funny as fuck that photon calls him that

photon can't cry, at least not at first. just doesn't have the physical functionality built into him. he tells himself that it's no loss, he/sonic hated crying anyway, but it's definitely not good for him that such a deeply psychologically necessary function is gone!

of course my autistic ass has thought about the jules and photon dynamic. it's weird, and awkward, and steeped in a thousand layers of feelings that neither of them know how to articulate, but i reckon they do like each other and they are good for each other. jury's still out on whether they can claim to be family, but it's hard not to at least be SOMETHING with the probable only other person on the entire planet who understands at least a little bit of what you're going through, y'know

out of all the things he can't do anymore, photon REALLY misses eating. leftovers from his organic-by-design brain keep telling him that it's been way too long since he ate and he'd feel better if he slammed back a chili dog. he can usually laugh off being asked a fundamentally robot-proof question like when he last slept or if he needs a shower and genuinely not be hurt [much] by it, but he gets real quiet if someone accidentally asks him if he wants anything to eat

because he struggles to conceptualise his body as His Body, he's really bad at treating the possibility of hurting himself with the appropriate gravity. as a result, he's prone to letting himself get injured if it means he gets more done in a fight, or ignoring minor damage until it compounds enough that he's falling apart, or pushing himself until his systems short out. thanks to this reckless approach to personal safety, he's been fully ship of theseus'd at least once since his original neo metal sonic body, which i'm sure is great for that aforementioned difficulty connecting himself with the body he's in

most of photon's interaction with sonic canon post-heroes is vague and messy and not something i've come up with an answer i like to, but i'm pretty confident in how he fits into the idw chunk of the timeline! he never 'officially' joins the restoration, and he's still just as prone to fucking off halfway across the planet as meat sonic, but he starts to be a pretty common sight around their hq. fighting eggman isn't really fun for photon anymore the way it is for sonic, having your entire identity irreversibly ripped away from you by someone makes any future victory against them feel hollow, but he's still got that burning drive to help others - the restoration gives him ways to fight indirectly enough that he can actually feel good about it again. he's one of the few who can meaningfully defend the metal virus survivors, and you BET he's so pissed at sonic for letting it happen he can hardly think straight. lanolin and tangle probably try to get him in the neo diamond cutters, but i don't think he'd take them up on the offer, given that he doesn't respond well to being told what to do. like i mentioned, i want to send his ass to scrapnik island and see how he plays off of another robot sonic turned terrifyingly real and separate person. then of course there's the dynamic between him and belle, which honestly could be a whole post by itself. after a couple years with only a tiny handful of non-grief-inducing friends and some unsustainably destructive coping mechanisms to his name, the point that idw picks up from is where photon finally goes from just enduring the horrors to genuinely feeling happier again :]

[ratatatastic]

scare the hoes more and keep yapping about ekky (& others) getting used to maffhew, it delights me. and say even more about how sasha handles this feral and sweet omega that gets dropped into his orbit. smth smth “feels like i’ve known him 10 years” or whatever vows sasha recited to the press, cameras, and god

apparently we are taking more tumblr user ratatatastic abo yap thoughts for 500 may god hear our screams up wherever he is. big man in the sky you fuckin owe me one.

i think theres so much in particular to say in concerns of 1619 and how quickly they gelled irl but even more so in an abo au

ive always enjoyed when people assign matthew stronger scents that take getting used to if you don't like it already and i know ive read a fic where his scent notes did skew towards stronger cinnamon foods/drinks

anyways on that note it wouldnt surprise me that sasha takes so easy to this spicy little omega.

Like of course he does, he smells like the pastries he used to eat back at home, the pastries he eats now because he's found an established Finnish bakery down here that makes them homemade every morning, the bakery he likes to frequent with the other Finns when he can.

Is it ever a wonder that the cute omega that sent him such a terribly sweet text when the trade news broke out (you know, after the initial excitement worn off because Sasha does chuckle at memory of the brash "Fucking, right!" that pinged on his phone the very first time from an unknown number) smells like... home... No matter all the rumours that have swirled around Matthew, the rumours Sasha has personally experienced himself playing against him...he smells nostalgic. Like Sasha could be at home right now—you know, home home—lounging outside his cottage with tea and pastries on the little table that he's set out. The warm cinnamon that wafts from the typically sterile room they've assigned for pressers smells divine, for lack of a better word. It smells indulgent. Because Sasha can't have those homely pastries all the time, what, with his training regiment.

It's why he doesn't quite believe it that Matthew's the one that's the centre of it all. He's absolutely convinced he's hallucinating because the season is about to start and he's had to cut back on all his favourite sweets as much as it pains him to but for the betterment of the team? He'd do anything. And yet despite the way he rubs at his nose to at least try to clear it, he smells that cinnamon. That cinnamon that's definitely coming from new omega they traded over who's laughing so obnoxiously at the lectern they have set up that if his scent didn't catch your attention, his loud mannerisms certainly did. His voice is practically bouncing off the walls in big loud echoes that should hurt Sasha’s ears. Emphasis on should. As it is he finds his heart melting more than it should instead.

It's been quite a long time since someone's scent has moved him this much. All the people that have, have been in his life for so long he's forgotten what it's like to feel instant scent compatibility. His nostrils are flaring and he's trying his best not to open his mouth to huff in big gulps of it because it's rather impolite to be so obviously scenting the new guy. It could be misconstrued as Sasha taking offence to the new presence in the room.

Some part of his brain is still trying to catch up to the idea that Matthew even smells at all because the first time he met him (down here for some joint offseason ice-time) he didn't particularly smell like much, if at all really. Whether it's because he put on blockers to not intrude on pack territory until he smelled more like them, or he was still on suppressants even in the summer, Sasha wasn't sure and he definitely wasn't going to ask about it.

Known him for 10 years? He feels like he's known him his whole life. But 10's a safe number, 10's a number that won't scare off this new omega, right? 10's a number that conveys "As Captain I want this to work out, I'm opening up my pack for you, I won't shun you, you're welcome here," and not "If I stick my nose in your neck right now to scent you, they're gonna have to forcibly evict me from the new home I've found in you, and it's not gonna be a pretty outcome."

It's also why he's a little nervous when Media Day is over because despite how much it dragged along in years past it practically blitzed by and now Sasha has to—

You know, properly scent the new addition. Give them the purring acceptance of their Pack leader's scent to carry with them. And it's nothing big, it's just some chaste wrist rubbing... something subtle and not too overwhelming for everyone: the pack, and the newcomer alike. It's not like Sasha is going to mouth at Matthew's neck glands. He doesn't think he can even handle that right now but that's a problem for future Sasha—for when Matthew is really part of the pack and not like a goldfish in a plastic bag being dunked into an aquarium to get used to the water temperature. He just has to rub his wrist against his, it's like basic Alpha etiquette. It'll be fine, mostly. He hopes.

And it's as anticlimactic as he thought it'd be: gentle reintroductions and reignited chatter of excitement about the new season that's about to start... maybe just with the new lingering scent of sweet and spice in the background as if someone lit up a candle without Sasha even noticing it. It's a struggle to keep his eyes from closing from how heavy they feel, from how relaxed he feels in the presence of this new omega he knows has pissed him off on several occasions as composed as he was about it.

Matthew presents his wrist in a flourish successfully managing to divert his attention back to what they're supposed to be doing all alone like this in the dressing room like this, "I'm sure you've been dying to do this huh, Cap?"

Sweat starts to break out at the back of his neck. He knows? Sasha doesn't think he's been sending off any signals that could've hinted otherwise but Sasha admits that he's well out of practise, he hasn't had to reign in his scent this much in such a long time, and maybe Matthew picked up his weird fixation—

Matthew waggles his eyebrows for extra effect an offbeat later when the joke doesn't seem to land the way he wanted it to.

Oh, thank Christ, he's just teasing him. It's a joke. He doesn't actually mean it in the way Sasha thought he meant.

"Yes. Yes, I have," Sasha chuckles in relief, shaking his head at Matthew's attempt to lighten the mood.

"10 years, or so I've heard, bud."

"You heard? Uh, listened to the..." he trails off.

"Kinda hard not to when the setup made it sound like you were in the middle of the Earth, my guy. I don't think my ears are ever gonna recover from that."

"It's the first day for everyone," Sasha lightly chastises, not particularly aggrieved at all but wanting to keep up the banter to stall for time, so he can prepare himself. Quite honestly he feels like travelled back in time to the young anxious Alpha he was breaking out into the league for the first time.

"Be gentle, I bruise easily."

"Right, gentle. I'll treat you better than my clothes on the delicate cycle."

"Is that supposed to be a line?" Matthew says in glee, his voice pitching into incredulity.

"Line like fishing?"

"Oh, come on! You know what I'm talking about! You've been in this country long enough to pick up on that!"

"Yes, yes, that."

Matthew shoves at his shoulder playfully. "Just go on and do the thing already."

"Doing the thing."

Matthew snorts but his wrist is limp in Sasha’s hold. And as much as it was a dumb joke he does feel delicate between his fingers like that. So delicate that when he rubs his own wrist against his—to transfer over their pack scent—he feels like he's going to break it if he holds onto it for too long. It's why he drops it as quick as he took it, hands scrambling to his sides in an effort to remain polite but also to get a handle on himself so his pheromones don't go haywire with the new stimulus. It's a bit of a losing battle because he knows his scent just. But he can play it off as the excitement of an Alpha being able to claim another member to his pack, it's a possessive kind of thing.

"Well, see you around! Call it a hunch but I have a feeling we'll be seeing more of each other." And the joke wasn't funny the first time, truly the equivalent of leaning on the office fax machine and going "You come here often?" to your coworkers who just want to get their work done—and just as sleazy too with the greasy grin Matthew has permanently stuck to his face but Sasha still laughs like he did the first time he heard it.

And it's only now that Matthew is gone that Sasha realises the room smells strongly of cinnamon, so potent that anyone with a working nose would be able to tell that. Like Matthew was doing his best to ease Sasha’s obvious nerves when Sasha should've been the one to calm the omega who's been uprooted from their own pack and thrown into a completely new environment, himself.

"Jesus, it reeks in here. Smells like cinnamon," Aaron wrinkles his nose, wandering back in after his own media duties were done, finding Sasha all alone in the locker rooms.

"It does?" Like he can't tell the room smells like the equivalent of someone knocking over a Yankee Candle into an open fire.

"Yeah, like an awful lot." Aaron scrunching up his nose, trying to fight off an incoming sneeze. "It's strong," he says without thinking, swallows before his eyes shift over to Sasha and then to the floor, "Not bad just... strong..." The I can get used to it is left unspoken between them.

"I like it," Sasha admits because if Aaron is confessing to things without thinking then he might as well too. They've known each other long enough.

"I can tell." Aaron snorts, "You reek too."

Sasha lets out a questioning little noise, tilts his head to the side as he silently urges Aaron to continue.

"You have no idea what cinnamon and cardamom smell like together, do you? I feel like I walked into a bakery when I should be at the gym right now."

"Is that bad?"

"For you? No, of course not," Aaron's eyes soften, and while his scent wasn't anywhere close to abrasive, it does lighten up just a tad bit in the presence of his pack Alpha. "For me? I'd rather dunk my head in a bucket of coffee beans." A bit of an exaggeration on Aaron's part but the wry grin he has on really adds to the fact he's just joking—just a little, maybe there's some truth hidden in there. He knows how Aaron is, the way he tries to downplay anytime he bristles about something. Peace and vibes, and all that.

So Sasha can joke as well, "Forsy's stall is over there," and motions his head towards it across the room.

"Oh, hilarious."

"If I was funny I would say jock."

"You know, what? I think I will hit the gym today, thanks for reminding me."

"Mmm, anytime." And when Aaron's half out the door he adds, "Ask the staff where they put the jerseys we used today!"

"I'm going! To the gym!" he echoes back, not bothering to turn around as he shuffles down the hall in a hurry, and decidedly not going in the direction of the gym. It's not surprising when he hears chatter pick up and shoes scuffing briskly into the direction of the laundry rooms.

[drunkenskunk]

So, I was getting ready for bed, as I am Old™, and I have work tomorrow at Oh God Why The Fuck Am I Awake O'Clock. I looked at myself in the mirror, I realized: this is the look I was going for when I was designing Scarlet, my character in the Lancer game I'm currently in.

Hair tied back in a ponytail with loose frizzy bits along the edges, heavy bags under the eyes, the tired expression of a suicidally depressed alcoholic, faint scar across the nose from when it got broke that one time.

That is exactly the look I was trying to convey. Except my art skills are... y'know... kinda crap.

Also, I don't have red hair.

And Scarlet doesn't have disgusting, unshaven stubble.

And I'm not a mech pilot.

And... well.

Yeah.

[tiddiesoutwhenthetisout]

not me curling my laptop charger wire the way you curl band equipment cords HAHAHA god i miss it

[tantumuna]

what's crazy to me is multiple times i've received encouragement to start drawing again, even when i mention that the only reason i've considered drawing again is as a desperate ploy for attention

but whenever i talk about my writing i either get ignored or told to "write for yourself"

like just tell me you don't value writing as an art form. it'll be easier than having to dance through whatever the fuck this is

[satoumafuyuss]

shes just like me fr 💚