#oh the life of a college student
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Back to my eerie bullshit
#this is the kind of stuff I draw when I’m ill#mentally or physically#mentally in this case#oh the life of a college student#gotta draw ladies minding their business into bodies of water to exorcise those demons yknow#art#digital art#digital illustration#eerie art#artists on tumblr#my art#creepy
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being an autistic Community fan is wild because you watch a really silly episode about a pillow fight shot like a Vietnam war documentary. and its really silly and super funny and wholesome and everyone is happy at the end and you had a great time. but also you're crying
#“you'll never have another friend like me because nobody else will put up with you”#oh okay#time to weep#its not even fun fictional crying its genuinely painful crying#its also wild because you end up relating to Palestinian college student with daddy issues more than anyone else in youre entire life#uhhh#anyways#vent#(idk that got kinda venty)#community#nbc community#abed nadir#troy barnes#pillows and blankets#nuclear war speaks
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“i don’t think that graffiti is vandalism; i think it’s a beautiful form of self-expression.”
- keith haring <3
#uh oh abby's on studyblr again#campus#twin cities#chaotic academia#college#aesthetic#graffiti#graffiti art#chaos academia#academia#keith haring#art#city life#city#college aesthetic#college student#lgbtq community#queer community#spray paint#free palestine#fall vibes#fall#cityscape#minneapolis#minnesota#street photography#street art#rats#rat#student life
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one of my favorite things about getting older is that I’m just more sure and more confident in taking control in social situations and making other people feel at ease. I really love it!
#have always wanted to be good at it but it takes time#at least for me#my mom was describing one of her college friends to me the other day#and she goes ‘yeah she was kind of like you. personable and direct and kind.#‘and she was always going to deal with you (positive) instead of ignoring you’#honestly compliment of all time! because it does not come totally naturally to me#and there’s a lot that gets in my way—shyness anxiety a certain stiffness#but I love when i can feel it sort of giving way#anyway just rambling#also once again teaching has helped with this so much#because kids HAVE to be guided through a social situation. they don’t know what to do#and if I let them run it it’s always stupid#so just taking control asking the questions kind of —situating them so we can have a moment and then I can dismiss them#not that I do the same with adults lol. but works more often than you think#just having some direction and taking charge of a social interaction#I remember this comedian once saying he loved when someone took control in a social situation re: greetings/handshakes/hugs#like ‘oh thank goodness someone is figuring this out’ it’s so true and so funny skskdkdjd#I hope there is nothing peremptory about it! but I often find I’m so much ruder by doing nothing#than by being proactively kind and (hopefully) appropriate to the occasion#you know I’ve spoken on it before but my life really changed#when I made myself go back and say goodbye to my students after graduation my second year teaching#like. I literally ran away because I was so shy and it felt so awkward and no one was taking charge of how to do it#and the students wouldn’t (can’t) so it felt like they didn’t want to#and then I realized no—if someone is going to take the lead here it has to be me#and then I did! and there was in fact so much love waiting for me#people just don’t know how to show it#so you have to give them an opportunity#this is so many thoughts but I feel this sooooo much and I care about it so much
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#words#graduate school#graduate student#post graduate#the last graduate#graduatevisa#university#school#high school#college#student#student life#studyblr#studying#study motivation#non fiction#oh wow#oh my god#lol memes#funny post#funnymemes#funny shit#funny stuff#funny#funny memes#catlovers#jokes#humor#lol#memes
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10/06/24
It's been a pretty lazy day since today's exam's course is fairly easy. I basically just had to have a look at old notes and make new, neater ones, and do a quick recap of some basic maths lol.
It's still very early, though, so I might study calculus, manufacturing processes or programming after my French class. My uni classes start at 19h00 on campus, so the exam will start at that same time and, hopefully, I'll finish it early enough to hit the gym before it closes at 22h because I went to sleep way too late and couldn't wake up early enough to go to my boxing class at 6h00 🥲
I also made some cute blueberry and strawberry milk but drank it before I could take a picture of it... oops!
#mechanical engineering#studyblr#exam season#final exams#exams#uni student#college student#study space#student life#college studyblr#studyblr community#study blog#study motivation#stem student#stemblr#women in stem#stem academia#stem#study inspiration#study#student#engineering#maths#mathematics#chaotic academia#academia#oh to be a lazy engineering student nearing the end of the semester
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I wonder if people realize Sonas are meant to represent you and that they’re not really an OC to pair up with another OC
Had this experience with an ex-friend where they used their Sona for OC stuff and it was relatively fine until I realized how. touchy and lowkey intimate they tried being with my OCs and then my own Sona and it got uncomfortable
No buddy that’s just how I draw myself.
Fun times
#think pan#i mean theyre called sonas because of ‘personas’#like oh this is my persona = this is how i show myself to others#OCs are original characters inspired after other things and sure they can have traits from your own life n experience#but they’re still wizards or in high school or retired or old ppl or dragons#my OCs are gods and deities and can create portals and reincarnate#i am a college student struggling to feed himself#we are not the same
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By 'love', I don't mean romances I may come across in my twenties. By love, I mean life.
I'm Cas and I study psychology. I'm also a songwriter, but while I would easily call it my greatest passion, I don't really post about it here. On this blog, I mostly share not-so-daily updates about my student life - productivity, learning progress, but also stuff like movies I recently watched. Sometimes I just talk about my uni in general, in a more diary-like manner, or about things not related to studying at all, mostly connected with recovering from depression.
Studyblr, moodboards, daily life, quotes, healing and wellness. More or less. Enjoy!
#oh and every photo and quote i post is mine unless stated otherwise !#english isn't my first language#introductory post#studyblr#diaryblr#uniblr#studyspo#study inspo#uni life#personal diary#psychology student#psych student#healing#recovery#anxiety#depression#songwriter#musician#uni#university#college#aesthetic#moodboard#introduction#mental health#lesbian#daily life#psychology#i'm a 2w3 enfj btw#diary
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this is lowkey embarrassing and sad but ive literally forgotten how to talk to and be friends with people
#i legitimately had no friends last year on campus and now im like a fish out of water#most of my friends are online and it’s so much easier that way#bc people aren’t afraid to approach me yk#like im aware my resting face is less than friendly#and im gigantic (5’11)#but i swear im not mean#like guys pls im probably more scared of you than you are of me#and it’s harder now bc i commute but i made an acquaintance today getting on the bus and i hope i didn’t freak the out#oh and another kn psych bc we seat buddies#college struggles#college student#college life#vent post 💋
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“Waaa I don’t want all this protesting to ruin my graduation” You are an infant. You are living in unprecedented times with a chance to make a difference in the world and all you’re worried about is the status quo and your personal comfort.
#ra speaks#personal#sorry the seniors are being such whiny little shits like oh. oh how horrible that your graduation won’t be untainted by the horrors around u#I don’t remember my high school graduation very well bc it was just another day in the long life I’m living#if I was to remember my graduation I wish it would be for something that was IMPORTANT like idk. calling on the admin to answer for their#complicit in genocide and use of police brutality against your fellow students?????#*for reference these are college seniors so ~22 yos. you do not have the excuse of being a child you know damn well what’s happening and why
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I've had a few conversations recently, mostly with castmates, where they are very surprised to learn that I am 30. They keep pegging me as early 20's. And like...it keeps making me feel uncomfortable instead of flattered. And I've been wondering why because I really don't think I've unlearned the whole "30 is old" thing THAT well despite my best efforts.
And I think it might be partially because I kind of feel like I've been tricking them? Like oh no these 20 year olds thought I was one of them but actually I am a gross creepy old person. And partially also because I'm afraid that they're actually calling my actions immature? Like you thought I was younger because I don't act like a "real adult"? I don't know.
Like they literally keep staring at me open mouthed that happened more than once. Stop doing that! It makes me feel weird :(
#this feels like a brag but it's not#I look normal!!!!! people who are 30 don't look old!!!!#maybe that is a much deeper misconception in the public consciousness of young people than I thought#and I have actually done an ok job at unlearning it??? I don't know#I will say that in the last few years I feel like I have lost all ability to tell what age people are#like I was never good at it but I look at people now like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯#so maybe part of it is learning that these people are younger than I thought#like you're 22??? a child????#anyway I feel like what I am afraid of is that I am doing the adulting thing SO BAD that it gives off the impression#that I am a decade younger than I am#IS IT THAT OBVIOUS#the more I think about it the more I realize people tend to ask a lot if I'm in school#I mean no insult to college students but “college aged” is NOT the vibe I want to give off#ah yes that person obviously looks of the age where they barely know how to take care of themselves and don't know anything about life!#LIKE IT'S TRUE BUT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY IT TO MY FACE LIKE THAT#“oh wow you're old enough to be my acutal mom!”#SHUT!!! THE FUCK UP!!! IT'S WEIRD TO ME TOO!!!!
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faced with the consequence of my own decisions i hate it here
#my procrastination and perfectionism working together to ruin my life#i can't sleep until i'm done but i am so. tired#adhd#student#just looked at the time … oh goddddddddd#college
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words (and art) on bathroom walls <3
#uh oh abby's on studyblr again#twin cities#chaotic academia#college#graffiti#graffiti art#aesthetic#grunge#grungy aesthetic#keith haring#bathroom art#campus#student life#art#transgender#trans pride#trans woman#transfem#lgbtqia#dykeposting#dyke#rat art#rats#street photography#street art#chaos academia#city#city life#graffittiart#minnesota
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one thing abt being disabled/chronically ill that some people don’t get is that sometimes body maintenance that ensures you have the absolute minimum amount of function can also be something that takes away a lot of control and autonomy. you can argue till the cows come home that making those decisions to try and help yourself (or realistically to try to make sure things aren’t worse than they already are) is something that exhibits control and autonomy and stuff, but they can be so limiting in practice because they’re things that take up so much time but have to be done to do anything else
#i have to sleep a lot. i’m at the point where functioning requires 8 hours of sleep if not more#I should probably be getting 10+ but i’m a student and i work so 8 is the minimum. but then also getting ready for bed is a whole process s#the whole thing can take 10-12 hours depending how much im sleeping. just to make sure i can do anything#that is time in my day i cannot use for anything else. it’s not ‘oh but i can push through it’ because i can’t without spending the next da#lightheaded and nauseous and vaguely dizzy and with such intense brain fog I can’t think with my fatigue so bad i genuinely don’t know how#get myself to work a lot of days. my abled peers don’t have to deal with this at all. they have unlimited study time if they want to#and yeah it is a choice i’m making that’s true i could just not do. except i would lose my job and fail out of college because i would not#be able to get to classes or do my homework or think. but being told ‘but you are making choices about your life’ when i have lost so much#of what i used to be able to do because i am spiralling down and continuing to get worse is so.#literally last year i would wake up at 6:30 and then go to school till 3 and then go to my internship until 10 and get home at 11 and be in#bed anywhere from midnight to two in the morning and then wake up the next day and do it all again. i graduated with a 3.9 gpa and made it#into my top college while dealing with my cancer symptoms and then the two surgeries about it#but now i lose half my day to just making sure i can get out of bed. i can’t go anywhere because my body is physically too exhausted#any extra time goes into doing homework or occasionally time to myself#not decimating my health by doing minimum body care responsibilities isn’t freeing. occasionally i have a good day which is freeing but tha#usually goes into just. other things outside class or work or eating. I don’t go do something for myself or go do something fun on good day#because I still can’t. good days just mean i don’t want to lie down on the pavement when i’m going somewhere#I just. I don’t magically have control over my life because i try to get enough sleep. i lose half my day to doing that and ultimately it’s#just a bodily function that would have to happen anyway#this is a vent post im just having a really hard time right now because it feels like im in exponential decline. it was nowhere near this#bad last semester. my grades are tanking and i have no free time because anything outside of sleep is either work or school#vent tw#yall can rb this just ignore my tags completely#disability#chronically ill#i keep trying to explain to people how pots works because that’s all logical but there’s no way to explain what it’s doing to my body or ho#i feel all the time. the last time i felt this bad was when i had a bad flu or immediately after surgeries because i don’t react well to#anesthesia and always come out of them feeling like shit. and now i just feel like this all the time and it’s only getting worse#I can’t even stay up late anymore because my body feels like it isn’t counting the sleep even if I get 8 hours#I can deal if I have a free day the day after but that just leaves Friday and Saturday nights and I usually still have to do homework
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for some reason, the exams this time are feeling like such a chore. and what's funny is that they shouldn't, because im studying my dream course at my dream university. it really shouldn't and yet it's happening.
#I actually do not know what to do#i am getting up at 5am to study spending the entire day doing that and it's not even like im not taking any breaks - i am#but like#its so frustrating#but oh well#college is stressful#mine#miya's envelopes#academia#college#student life#studying#studies#history
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i enjoyed high school! i had a lot of friends! some of them were even close! but holy SHIT . i can say, with full confidence now. HIGH SCHOOL SUCKS SHIT and im GLAD I DON'T GO THERE!!!
#my school was actually pretty nice for a high school#my teachers were cool#im actual friends w one of em#but like. Omfg#if you as a high school student have ever felt annoyed about being treated like a baby or feel like you're just getting pushed around#like you're not treated as a real person. even by the staff who are nice. like all the clique stuff is stupid bullshit and you just want to#be an adult already#don't listen to anyone who tells you to treasure your high school years they can be fun but BEING AN ADULT IS SO MUCH BETTER#i got excited to VACUUM the other day!!! because my space in the dorms is MINE#and oh my god i love my parents and my family and their house is nice. BUT WOW LIVING IN A DORM RULES#not just bc its a nice dorm (That helps) but bc . like . so much is up to ME and im part of every decision#by default#and i get to Decide everything#a good part of this is just starting w a blank slate yk. i dont have to clean anything up and get rid of old stuff and rearrange#to decorate the new room in a way i want (in a way thats designed for me to keep it clean‚ rather than just the way that Happened)#and its like. i can really take pride in my space yk?#like i share it w 3 roommates but my part is Mine#and its not just where i sleep its like... i decorate it i clean it i like it i hang out in it#augh. college good.#if you're in high school no matter how much you like life rn: IT GETS BETTER
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