#oh shiiiiiiiiiiit wow

[msfcatlover]

(Red Hood!Steph, out in civilian clothes stopping into a local cafe or coffee shop or something, getting to the front of the line, and starting to place her order...)

Duke, somewhere behind her: "Steph?"

Steph, freezing up: Please be wrong, please be wrong, please be wrong—

Duke: "For fuck's sake... I know it's you, Stephanie. I can see right through you."

Steph, under her breath: "Shiiiiiiiiiiit..."

Steph, turning around: "What do you want, Duke?"

Duke, pointing at the menu over the counter: "Sugar & caffeine. What are you doing here?"

Steph: "Sugar & caffeine."

Steph: "I mean, I'm getting—"

Steph, throwing up her hands: "Can't a gal order brunch in peace?"

Barista, clearing their throat: "Um, are you going to finish or...?"

Steph: "Yes! Sorry about my friend, he's so rude sometimes."

Duke, immediately: "You know, you're right. Here, let me pay for your order to make up for it."

Steph: "You're not buying your way into this conversation, Duke."

Duke, pulling out his wallet: "I'm not trying to. Can't a guy do a nice thing for an old friend?"

Steph, hissing: "I hate you so much."

Duke, grinning: "I know, sister. Believe me, I know."

(Duke steps out of line, and stands next to Steph while she waits for her order.)

Steph: Don't talk, don't talk, don't talk—

Duke: *opens his mouth*

Steph: "Don't."

Duke: *closes his mouth, looking offended*

Duke: "I was just going to say it was good to see you, damn."

Steph, snorting: "Sure, and I'm secretly a redhead. Pull the other one, asshole."

Duke: "No, really. I mean, shit Steph, you... it's been fucking years—"

Steph: "It's been three weeks."

Duke, undeterred: "—since I've seen you like this. You know, out and about? You... you look good."

Steph, rolling her eyes: "Yeah, beats rotting in a fucking coffin, that's for sure!"

Duke: "Seriously?"

Steph: "What?"

Duke: "Can we have one normal conversation?"

Steph: "What would that even look like, Duke? 'How are your charities going?' 'Great, how's being a crime lord?' 'Oh, you know, same old same old. Got stabbed last week, but it's healing nicely.'"

Duke: "How about, 'Hey, it's good to see you! Wow, it's been so long! How are you? Did you do something new with your hair?'"

Steph: "We've covered all of that."

Duke: "Not all of it."

Steph: "Huh?"

Duke: "Did you do something new with your hair?"

Steph: "Oh yeah. I've been soaking it in the blood of my enemies."

Duke: "Ah, the Bathory treatment. Classic."

[theshotsheardacrossworlds]

March of the Tropes Day 5: Only One Bed

Marcelin Varlineau, the third of Agi and Estinien’s children, finds himself in a situation with an adventurer in which there’s only one bed. SFW.

“I-I’m so sorry, but there’s only room available…with only one bed.” The innkeeper in Gridania said to Marcelin (met with a new client and don’t feel like teleporting tonight) and the Xaela archer standing next to him.

Before Marcelin had a chance to say anything, the Xaela spoke. “I don’t mind sharing. Do you?”

Marcelin blinked and glanced down at the woman. Oh no. She’s so cute. Well, cute and looks like she could kick my ass even though I’m at least a fulm and a half taller. “I, erm…don’t mind. I can pay the night—”

The female Xaela shook her head. “No, no! We can split. Tis the honorable and fair thing to do.” She pulled out a coin purse and counted the coins. “There. Half.” The woman looked up at him again, a small smirk on her face.

Does she think I didn’t think she could pay? Is this what’s happening? OR IS IT FLIRTING?! Marcelin did the same, and within a few minutes, the two entered their room.

“Oh wow, no wonder it was a bit more than normal.” Marcelin said, staring dumbfounded at the room. This particular inn room had a fucking magnificent view of several waterfalls. Sisters be praised, this is one of the best views of Gridania I’ve ever seen.

The Xaela was equally struck. “Gods, the view…”

They stood in awe for a minute or two before Marcelin coughed discreetly. “Name’s Marcelin, by the way.” He held out his hand.

The archer bowed. “I am Ebegei Mol.”

Mol? She must be from the Mol tribe on the Azim Steppe. Then she must know who Mum is… Words were on the tip of his tongue, but Marcelin could not speak. She’s so cute. Fucking hells, Marc. Talk! “Would you like some dinner? I’m very familiar with Gridania.”

Ebegei nodded vigorously. “Yes. I admit that since my arrival to Eorzea several years ago, I’ve not come to the Black Shroud too often. Lead the way, Marcelin.” She said as she placed her bow (a very high quality Steppe bow) on a chair. “I do not carry it with me everywhere.”

Did she think that I did think she did?! Is this flirting again? Oh fuck, offer your arm, Marc. Offering his arm, Ebegei offered a puzzled look. “I can walk without aid.”

SHIIIIIIIIIIIT. Laughing nervously, Marcelin felt himself sweating bullets. “Erm, sorry. I was taught to hold out my arm for a lady. We can go.” He bolted away from her as she sighed.

***

“I notice you didn’t ask me about my…surname.” Ebegei teased as she popped another stuffed mushroom into her mouth. “That’s what they’re called in Eorzea, yes?”

“Aye. You’re from the Mol tribe.” Marcelin stated, a small blush appearing on his cheeks. Just like Mummy. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

She seemed very impressed. “Ah, so you know! Yes, I’m of the Mol tribe. I left to become an adventurer when I came of age. I was inspired by tales of Agnes Currai, the Warrior of Light and Champion of the Steppe…what? You’re smiling!” She giggled, putting a hand on his arm.

OOOOH SHIT. Marcelin winked. “Because Agnes Currai is my mother.”

Ebegei’s mouth dropped. “You…you cannot be serious. You’re…teasing! Yes, you’re teasing me!”

He laughed deeply. “No! I swear! My mother is Agnes Currai…well, Agnes Varlineau.”

Ebegei blinked, her mouth still open. She’s so funny! “Gods be praised. What a happy coincidence! And to think, my parents are herders, and your mother saved creation!”

“That’s fine though!” Marcelin said with a smile. “And Mum was an ordinary adventurer like you until she was chosen by Hydaelyn. At heart, I think she’s still an adventurer.” Her excitement of going an adventure and glee at meeting new people…I think that’s when she’s happiest. Well, only happiest if we’re with her. She wants to share everything with all of us no matter what. “Though, she stays mostly in Thavnair now with my father.”

“I’ve been to Thavnair a few times. It’s lovely.” Ebegei smiled and then she ate another stuffed mushroom. “Are you an adventurer too, Marcelin?”

“You can call me Marc if you’d like, and no, I’m not an adventurer. I’m a carpenter. Go places and make things for different people. I was meeting someone about a job here when—” Fuck, I’m blushing again.

“When we discovered we shall be sharing a bed!” She laughed so hard she cried, and to Marcelin, I’ve never a more beautiful sight. One of her hands found her way to his again, and she giggled. “Sorry.”

Marcelin lifted his glass of ale. “No worries.”

***

Marcelin was worrying.

After eating, talking, walking around Gridania, eating dessert, and walking back to the inn, Ebegei let him know she was going to lie down before heading to the bathroom.

I sleep naked. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Cock, please don’t do anything stupid. I really need you to not be excited tonight!!! At least if I keep my smalls on, it won’t be so bad. He sat on the edge of the bed and anxiously waited for Ebegei.

“Oh, that’s nice of you to wait.” She said with a small smile as she exited the bathroom.

Marcelin was trying very hard to not stare.

She’s got on black matching bra and smalls. Fucking fuck fuck shit. She threw her clothes on her bag and gestured to Marcelin. “I don’t care what side. You go first.”

Nodding quickly, Marcelin scrambled to the left side of the bed and got under the covers. Ebegei did the same.

“Are you comfortable?” She whispered. “I can move over—”

Marcelin gulped. “No, no, I’m good. I normally sleep on my back anyways.” In a much larger bed usually. I’m quite large myself and so is Hami.

“Alright.” She sighed happily and curled into his side.

Oh dear.

“Good night, Ebegei. Sweet dreams.” He whispered, saying a silent prayer to the Sisters pretty please give her good dreams and sleep well. Sisters take me, she’s so warm.

“Night, Marc. Sleep well.”

When Marcelin woke the next morning, he found Ebegei still asleep against his side.

And that my arm is around her. Maybe I could move it… As he moved his arm, Ebegei grunted softly and got closer to him. Ooooooooooh okay. This is so nice. She feels amazing. And she doesn’t mind me either. Her arm is across my belly!!!!

“This is nice.” Ebegei said softly, eyes still closed. SHE THINKS SO TOO?!?! “I bet everyone loves how…what’s the word…cuddly you are?” SHE THINKS I’M CUDDLY?!?!? “Because you are very cuddly.” She exhaled and is rubbing my belly?!?!?! OH MY GOODNESS?!!? “Do you mind? I can stop if you want.”

DO NOT STOP. DO NOT EVER STOP! Marcelin cleared his throat and rubbed her upper arm. “You can keep going. I’ve nowhere to be, so…”

“So we can stay for a bit? Good.”

Good. Sisters preserve. I don’t want this to end…

***

Dear Bapa,

I think I’ve fallen in love. It’s a funny story, and I’ll tell you in detail next time I see you and Mummy. Long story short, there was only one inn room left in Gridania, so we shared…and that includes the bed. BUT NOTHING FRISKY! It was just wonderful. She’s really nice and funny and cute and perfect and shoots arrows like Uncle Aymeric.

What do I do? She hugged me when we parted, and she promised to write. Should I write first? Wait for her to write? Should I send a gift? Buy her flowers? Bapa, please I need your help.

Love,

Marc

“AGI, MARC’S FALLEN IN LOVE!!!” Estinien bellowed from the couch in his and Agnes’s home in Radz-at-Han. “HE NEEDS MY HELP!”

Giggles erupted from the kitchen. “That’s very nice, love. Lunch’ll be ready shortly.” Looking up from her soup, she sighed and rolled her eyes. “And there he goes, fucking off to Gridania. I’ll set up a third place at the table, because I know he’s dragging poor Marc back here.”

[irrevocably-delicious]

Hi........if you don't mind me asking, who are your favorite romantic relationship's couples in books/ manga/ anime/movies/tv series (can be canon or non-canon)? And why do you love them? Sorry if you've answered this question before...... Thanks....

Oh no this is a very cool question! Funnily enough I have a lot of OTP’s, but I like this question because it makes me want to really think about relationships like… how are the people as a whole? Do they improve each other? Do they enrich each other’s lives?

1. Riza Hawkeye x Roy Mustang (full metal alchemist) - wow they invented love. The unspoken devotion and loyalty, the knowledge that they are both traumatised and flawed people, but are doing their best to make the world a better place. Holding each other to a higher standard then they hold themselves.

2. Shepard x Garrus (mass effect) - very similar to Roy and Riza, Garrus and Shepard really scratch that itch of war veterans finding something soft and gentle in their everyday lives. The absolute tragedy of both of them knowing that Shepard belongs to mankind, and not to each other or even herself.

3. Viktor x Yuri Katsuki (Yuri on ice) - remember when Yuri on ice came out and the world was good?

4. Reki x Langa (sk8 the infinity) - they really capture those innocent and giddy ‘first love’ feelings.

5. Zelda x Link (legend of Zelda) - the ORIGINAL reincarnation au. What if our fates were linked in every reality?

6. Barnaby x Kotetsu (tiger and bunny) - kind of my flavour of the month couple at the moment, but it’s your classic rivals to lovers story. Only one of the guys is a hot headed Dilf, and the other is a pretty boy with a revenge quest. Wow I sure hope they put aside their differences to become the ultimate superhero team and grow far too attached to one another.

7. Makoto Tachibana x Haru Nanase (free!! Iwatobi swim club) - your classic best friends to lovers, complete with them basically being so close that they don’t have to talk to one another and joke about their ‘psychic connection’. Haru finds out Makoto is moving for university and becomes so DESPONDENT that only a trip to Australia wakes him up again. It’s great.

8. Shikamaru x Temari (Naruto) - I’m kind of a mysoginistic asshole. What if you beat me up when we were kids, and then saved my life on a mission, and as we got older I was assigned as your guard and guide in my village, and we both rise in importance and responsibilities within our villages political systems until eventually we fight a war side by side and I become your brothers second in command and shiiiiiiiiiiit we fell in love at some point.

9. Kakashi x Guy (naruto) - what if the human embodiment of self loathing and trauma met the personification of optimism and self love?

10. Sylvain Gautier x Felix Fraldarius (fire emblem three houses) - they’re fucking terrible. They deserve each other. (No but seriously they both have such a complex relationship with their country and their duty. I love how they both have huge ‘my bloodline ends with me’ energy. What better way to get back at your families than to marry a man and ride off into the sunset together)

11. Frodo x Sam (lord of the rings) -“I made a promise! ‘don’t you leave him Samwise gamgee’… and I don’t mean to… I don’t mean to”

[christowitch]

Hoooooooolly shiiiiiiiiiiit ok 1) SIN IS SIN THERE IS NO SPECTRUM so all these fucking anons who are spewing their nonsense "oh but you're sinning and you need help" BITCH YOU AIN'T NEVER SINNED BEFORE?? HIGHLY UNLIKELY 2) Oh wow hi God I didn't know you had a tumblr lol I mean the only person allowed TO PASS FUCKING JUDGEMENT MUST BE THE IDENTITY OF THE ANON AMIRITE???? ANGRY!!! You're lovely and you helped me accept my desire to become a Christian witch so everyone can fuck right off!

the best scripture for these anons is really..

John 8:7

7 So when they continued asking Him, He raised Himself up[a] and said to them, “He who is without sin among you, let him throw a stone at her first.”