#oh reader

[morningsharksworld]

Faceplant

A/N: i know I said that after these few fics for Hazard I was going to post about Mauga but I saw @moira-mains-go-to-hell post about Hazard and the reader overall just being a little shit and I decided to give my on spin on it because I thought that it would be funny 😭

Summary: Let the Prank wars begin

────── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──────

The argument had been petty, honestly. Something about whose turn it was to do the dishes. Or maybe it was over the thermostat. You couldn’t even remember what sparked it, but it had ended with Hazard flopping onto the bed, throwing an exaggerated arm over his eyes, and grumbling “Gonna sleep it off before I say somethin’ I regret.”

You’d rolled your eyes at his dramatics, but his silence as he turned on his side, back to you, left you simmering. The nerve. So, as you stood in the doorway, watching him drift off, a wicked idea crossed your mind. A harmless. TINY. little prank.

Sneaking over to his prosthetics, you carefully turned them off. The soft chime confirmed they were deactivated, and you stifled a laugh as you tiptoed back to your side of the bed. “Let’s see you storm off tomorrow, tough guy” you muttered under your breath, climbing under the covers. Satisfied with your mischief, you drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, sunlight poured into the room. You were half-awake, snug in the blankets, when you heard the rustling of sheets and a groggy groan from Hazard.

“A’right…” he mumbled, his Scottish accent thick from sleep, “time to get up…”

You peeked out from under the covers, watching as he swung his torso up, planted his hands on the mattress, and—with all the confidence in the world—tried to stand.

“OI—!”

And just like that, he toppled forward, his arms flailing briefly before landing flat on his face with a muffled *thud*. You bolted upright, the sheets pooling around your lap as you stared at him sprawled on the floor. For a moment, there was silence. Then, a sound you hadn’t expected.

Laughter. Loud, uncontrollable laughter, echoing from the floor.

Hazard was face down, shoulders shaking as he wheezed and slapped a hand weakly against the carpet. “You… fuckin cheeky bastard!” he managed between gasps, his accent making the words tumble out in a melodic jumble. “You turned me legs off, didn’t ye!?”

You bit your lip, trying—and failing—to keep a straight face. “…I might have” you admitted, the corners of your mouth twitching.

He rolled onto his back, still laughing, one hand over his face. “Love, I… I tried tae just hop up like nothin’ was wrong! Thought I was losin’ me mind fer a second there!”

You couldn’t hold it in anymore. The sight of him sprawled out, hair sticking up in all directions, tears of laughter streaming down his cheeks—it was too much. You joined him, your laughter ringing out as you leaned over the edge of the bed.

“Serves you right” you teased between giggles. “That’s what you get for avoiding me like that last night.”

He propped himself up on his elbows, wiping his face with the back of his hand. “Aye, fair’s fair” he said, his grin as wide as you’d ever seen it. “But dinnae think I’ll let this slide, darlin’. Revenge’ll be sweet.”

“Oh, I’m terrified” you shot back playfully, holding his gaze with mock defiance.

Still chuckling, he finally pushed himself upright, reaching over to re-enable his prosthetics. The familiar hum and whir signaled their activation, and he stood, testing his balance before looking at you with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

“You’re lucky you’re cute” he said, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your forehead. “But don’t get too comfortable. I’ll be plotting.”

You smirked, watching him shuffle off toward the bathroom, still shaking his head in disbelief. The morning sunlight danced through the room, and as the laughter faded, you couldn’t help but feel a surge of warmth for the man who could turn even a prank into a moment of joy.

Whatever payback he had in mind, you knew it would be worth it just to see that smile again.

---

A few days later, the consequences of your prank began to surface. It started innocently enough. You spotted a tiny piece of your favorite bike model figurine on the coffee table. At first, you thought it had just fallen off, but when you found another piece in the kitchen—and then another in the bathroom—you knew something was up.

By the end of the day, you’d only managed to find eight of the ninety pieces. Each discovery came with a fresh wave of frustration and suspicion. Hazard’s smug grin whenever he passed by didn’t help either.

“Lost somethin’, lass?” he asked casually, leaning against the doorframe as you scoured the bookshelf.

“You’re insufferable” you muttered, glaring at him. “Where are the rest of the pieces?” You said showing him a part from the model.

He shrugged, his expression the picture of innocence. “Dunno what yer talkin’ about. But if I were tae scatter somethin’ precious around, I’d make sure tae keep ye on yer toes.”

You threw a cushion at him, which he caught effortlessly, his laughter filling the room. You’d underestimated him, and now you were paying the price.

.

.

.

You’re killing him in his sleep tonight.

[tinietaehyun]

thinking about chapter six and it’s got me doing the whole villain laugh in my head 🤭

[transingthoseformers]

I mean, R,

That's a pretty specific analogy🤔🤔🤔

[y-ckysstuff]

I love the head cannon that Ghost likes to stare a lot. Not at anything in particular, just staring.

Then he realizes that he really likes staring at you. He's fucking you in missionary, basically rocking both of your bodies and the bed with each deep and heavy thrust, putting his body weight into it. He's got his large hands planted beside your head, maybe your legs clenching on and off his hips as he thrusts.

Between your moaning and his fat dick making your pussy drool, you don't notice him staring into your face, huffing and groaning every now and then but otherwise quiet.

Between your moaning and crying about how good he feels, grasping onto his thick wrists for support as he pounds, you finally acknowledge him staring into your eyes.

"S... Simon?" You say breathlessly, being a little confused.

He stares a little longer before realizing what he's doing and shakes out of it, leaning down so your faces are right against each other, but not quite touching, slowing his thrusts down into a deeper, more loving pace, "You're fuckin' beautiful..." He whispers.

He captures your lips before you respond, not that you could with the way he's fucking and loving you.

His thrusts get sloppier, still deep and hard, his tongue intertwining with yours messily. You couldn't believe how much you turned him on by just being looked at.

Nor could he, yet here he was, groaning as one thick hand wrapped around the back of your neck, kissing you harder as he cums ropes inside of you.

[stargirlrchive]

simon’s work wife

one — two — three — four

people start calling u simon’s work wife and he takes it literally. starts referring to you as the ‘missus’, your cheeks warming as his heavy hand rest on your hips to pull you into him.

he’s snarling at one of the recruits that stared at you a little too long for his liking, caging you in against his big ass frame. that same recruit later coming to you a stuttering mess, apologizing because he didn’t know you were married.

you aren’t, but you’re too shocked to comment on it.

and when you confront simon he just shrugs his shoulders lazily, staring at you with darkened eyes as he mumbles, “ya’ didn’t deny it.”

it ends with you moving in, you aren’t sure how it started—or if you were even in an actual relationship but everywhere and anywhere you go he’s calling you his wife.

[rissouu]

nerdy!choso who was sick of letting you walk around, doing whatever you pleased. the day you asked him to be your tutor was when his whole world flipped upside down. him? tutor the most popular girl in school??

it was okay at first, but somewhere along the line your saturday study sessions turned into saturday fuck sessions. you were his first which wasn’t surprising. choso was the school’s number one nerd, and sure he was hot but no girl dared to associate with him let alone fuck him.

but you were different in so many ways, you treated him like fragile glass that you knew better than to break. you liked to test him sometimes though, just to see if he’d drop the innocent boy act. usually your schemes never worked but this time, he’d had enough.

“this what you wanted fuckin’ stuck up brat?” choso chuckled darkly, anger radiating off him in waves. large hands struck down, bruising the skin of your ass for the 10th time.

he had you bent over his lap counting every spank and if you missed even a single one, he’d get a belt.

one look at him had your body quivering, his head was tilted and hair messy as his eyes pierced yours. “thought it was cute to stop sharing your location wimme’ huh mama?”

you shook your head which earned nothing but a chuckle from him. rough fingers danced around your clit, flicking it back and forth despite your overstimulation.

a sharp pain had you whimpering, it was only then you realized what was going on. choso sunk his teeth into your cheek with no intentions of stopping until the mark of his teeth was visible.

“how about i start spanking this pretty pussy next?” he smiled when you waved your ass around in anticipation, his greedy greedy girl. “nah.. think ‘m gonna fill her up instead. maybe then you’ll stop fuckin’ playing with me,”

no way this was your same nerdy!choso from before…

©rissouu 2024 (pls i need a choso in my life)..

[specshroom]

⋆˚🐾˖°

Wolf hybrid who is sooooo excited to experience his bunny hybrid partners first heat. So excited that he vastly underestimates just how horny bunnies are in heat.

He's expecting his cute little bunny partner (you) to cry and beg for his knot. Which you do and he knots and cums inside you twice but then right after his knot deflates you look up at him and go "Again?"

He's a little tired but he can't say no to you...

Until it's the sixth fucking round and you're still bouncing on his very overstimulated cock. He knows it's very bad to interrupt a bunny while they're so deep in heat but he might just pass out and you're so lost in the sauce you might just keep going if he does.

He needs to think of a way to satisfy you that won't literally kill him. He gets an idea and reaches for his phone. It's really embarrassing but the best thing he can think of at that moment is to open the group chat, aptly named "The Boys", and hastily text:

[Hey guys can u come over]

[I need sum help with something]

⋆˚🐾˖°

[cupidscrule]

[emphistic]

Boyfriend!Sukuna's up to no good, you can just feel it. After being with Sukuna for years since high school, it's safe to say your very reliable, very credible "Boyfriend is Being Bad" senses are tingling. And they're tingling worse than ever.

It's utterly ridiculous. You've been sitting on the couch for hours, and have already completely finished a season of your favorite show. Yuuji's whining about having his brother tuck him into bed, and you have run out of coffee. It's past evening, and Sukuna is literally nowhere to be found.

"When's Brother coming home?" mumbled Yuuji for the umpteenth time. He was curled up on your lap, pressing his chubby cheeks to your sweater, and yawning like he worked a 9-5 and paid the bills.

"In a little bit, Yuu, just be patient and wait, 'mkay?"

"Hmph!" The boy crossed his arms over his chest and gave quite the intimidating pout. "I be patient! And still no 'Kuna! Does he not love us anymore—?"

There was the screeching of tires pulling up to the house, the sound of someone running full speed to the door, and keys jingling with desperation, all before the door was opened, slammed closed, and lo and behold: Sukuna—in all his glory. (He looked like shit.)

"What the hell—" You cleared your throat, cautious of what to say in front of someone as young as Yuuji. "Where have you been?"

Sukuna was panting, drenched in sweat, and his hair was a mess. "I'm . . . I was . . . I was getting a cat for Yuuji and you; y'know, because you two were nagging me about it all week after we watched the Lion King?"

Despite his brother's current disheveled state, Yuuji wasted no time in scurrying off your lap, running as fast as his little legs could carry him, and jumping onto his brother's leg and attaching himself there like a monkey or something. "Yay! Brother! Brother home!"

You eyed Sukuna warily, fully taking in his appearance. "So, where's the cat? And, last time I checked, you don't have to run ten miles in order to purchase one; you look like you just did a whole work out."

"If you count running from the police as a work out, then, yeah. . ."

"The police? Do they run a special kind of pet store or something?"

"Not exactly," Sukuna winced, as the sound of sirens blaring began. "So, just making sure, you love me, right?"

". . ."

"Ah, I may or may not have tried to pick up a tiger from the local zoo, and turns out, that is not very legal."

"You're . . . joking."

"The tiger, uh, jumped out of the window while I was on my way home. . . And I'm pretty sure the police are looking for it and me, but don't worry, I've been in run-ins with the law before. They've got nothing on me, babe—"

"You're trying to tell me that your concern is the police? WHEN THERE'S A TIGER ROAMING THE STREETS? OF OUR NEIGHBORHOOD?"

"Hey, there's a good part to this." Sukuna raised his hands in defense. "I made Christmas come early, y'know. You two have been begging for a pet."

"A PET! NOT A WILD CAT THAT YOU STOLE!"

[rejectedbytheempty]

actually, ykw? imagine if simon had a civilian s/o and bc he’s constantly away and the partner is there most of the time anyways, he lets them decorate the place.

they make it so cozy with a million lamps with stained glass lampshades and tapestries on the walls and an unexpected number of stuffed animals on the bed.

one time, simon invites tf 141 to his flat and their jaws dropped, bc ofc simon didn’t warn them about the absolute pinterest board that his place was.

in fact, he hadn’t mentioned a partner at all, or to you that his team would be coming over so you’re still in one of simon’s raggedy old t-shirts with a handful of dry cereal halfway to your mouth.

it’s generally a shock for both parties, simon excluded, who seems to settle himself right in, kissing the top of your head, eyes crinkling slightly as he grins, looking rather like a cat showing off the bird he dragged in.

you had some choice words for him later, but for now, you brushed the crumbs off your face and wiped your hands off on your shirt before sticking your hand out to the team to introduce yourself.

surprisingly, it goes rather well. all things considered. the team is charmed by you and your ability to make ghost blush and smile endlessly. and you’re absolutely enamored with the fact that they keep complimenting your decor.

[realangelahernandez]

I’m so sad… time for an x reader fan fiction

[o4i0n]

came across a tiktok where the bride surprises the groom with her ‘spicy’ photos throughout their wedding day and all i can think of is pulling a stunt like that with nanami .. the embarrassingly bright flush that appears in red splotches below his neck that creeps up his ears; the way he blinks at the polaroids you discreetly slip into his clammy hand before he looks at you, then away again as he clears his throat to dismiss his reaction; the flustered smile that quirks up at the corner of his lips as he chuckles because the timing could not be any more perfect (for you, at least. it isn’t for him but he’d let it slide).

the pictures aren’t too explicit—god knows you’ve been more brazen in the past with your now-husband. they’re sensual, tasteful, and you know that they’re just right when kento tries to pull you away to somewhere secluded during the busy moments in between your reception since he told you that your guests can wait a few minutes. you tell him no, not yet, but not without handing him another polaroid.

even if he kind of expected it, he can never truly prepare himself when he flits his eyes down. you’re donned in lingerie that hugs your body in all the right places, and best of all, the set you’re wearing shares the same shade of blue as his signature dress shirt.

he can’t wait for the formalities to end.

[erosology]

könig squishing your cheeks as you’re sobbing “it hurts, könig! s’too much!” him shushing you as he sinks into you inch by inch, just enough of his 260lbs + weight to keep you pinned “shh, shh liebling, it will feel good soon, i promise, just take it for me, ya?”

or better yet, könig getting off on the fact that he’s hurting you, pushing your head back down in the mattress and groaning “oh fuck, liebling, so tight. does it hurt, hm?” and right when you sob out a “yes, yes it hurts!” he makes sure you feel every single inch stretch you out “good, keep crying. it’s making me harder”

[akanemnon]

Shouldn't there be a minotaur in the labyrinth? Who put this goat here? This is not accurate to the mythology! /j

FIRST - PREVIOUS - NEXT

MASTERPOST (for the full series / FAQ / reference sheets)

[stargirlrchive]

something about helping simon bathe after a grueling missions makes me ache all over.

he’s so exhausted, body bruised and bloody and heavy. his hulking frame sinking into the tub, water sloshing over the sides, and his knees above the water but he doesn’t care. his body feels instantly loose and relaxed.

your nimble fingers digging into the knots on his back and neck, pressing soft kisses to his skin as you lather on soap.

a soft groan leaving his cracked lips as your nails scrape at his scalp. his short hair smelling like citrus and honey as you thoroughly clean him.

his body is so relaxed it takes another five minutes for him to get out of the tub once you’ve helped him—he’s extra clingy after it too. thick arm thrown over your shoulder and his face nuzzling into your hair as you both curl into each other on your bed.

[qrbits]

yhk jenga