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What We Do in the Shadows more like Taika Waititi being adorable for two hours.

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Cuddling with my boyfriend and he starts scratching my head affectionately. I look up at him and say, “Are you petting me like a dog because I’m your bitch?”

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Seven year old nephew:

Me:

7: Are you going to have a baby soon?

Me, a confused 18-year old virgin: No... Why would you think that?

7: You’re almost a grown up.

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Achievement Unlocked 

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Yes. Give her the obviously photoshopped Cheetos.

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This city isn't big enough for dreamers.

Graffitia by Green Day

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Update: We went out on a date. It was awesome.

We were talking about names in my Sociology class and this boy next to me says his name is Wesley. So we start making “Princess Bride��� jokes. He begs us to stop. I turn and stare him dead in the eyes and say, “As you wish”. 

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In my Shakespeare class we were discussing types of Shakespeare plays. My professor explains that all of Shakespeare’s comedies end in weddings. I never speak in this class, but I raised my hand. My poor, innocent professor looked in admiration at me and I opened my mouth for the first time since introductions and said, “All of Shakespeare’s comedies end in a wedding because marriage is a joke”. The light left that man’s eyes and all hope was lost. The hot guy next to me asked if I was okay.

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Noods before dudes

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Update: I have eaten 8 cinnamon rolls. Send help. 

Plain white bread is so good.

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What’s better than cinnamon toast? Cinnamon rolls.

Plain white bread is so good.

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New discovery: Cinnamon sugar toast.

Plain white bread is so good.

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Plain white bread is so good.

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When Adam Young said, “She’d rather fall in chocolate than fall in love.” I felt that.

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My sister just walked by my room and said, “Hey, Ashley” and I just went, “Yeah”. ._.

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Love is like a fire. If put into the wrong hands, it can destroy everything.

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I was driving in my car and “Welcome to the Black Parade” came on. I got so excited that I ran a stop sign.