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thebearer · 3 months

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in your eyes, the man that i could be |carmen berzatto x reader| part two

prompt: after carmen finds out you're staying at pete and sugar's house, he goes to try and talk to you. he's faced with his furious sister and harsh truths instead.

or part two of the devastation fic lol that is based off this ask from the other day <3

contains: angst! angst! this one is very much so more carmen focused bc let's be real... he's the problem in this one lol. still hurt with no comfort but more this one than last one?? mentions to past trauma, family trauma. sugar clears carmen in this one. slight mean carmen still, slight angry carmen still. language. dad!carmen x mom!reader. no resolution but the make up is in the next and final part! still heavy so read at your own discretion! word count- 4.8k+

Fak twisted his hands, nervously watching Carmen pace back and forth furiously. One hand running through his hair, tangled and matted from the continued motion; the other lifting and pulling the cigarette to and from his lips. Fak wasn’t sure how Carmen wasn’t sick yet. He’d never seen him smoke so much, seen anyone smoke so much.

“Neil, I’m not fuckin’ playin’ anymore, ok? You’re startin’ to really, really fuckin’ piss me off.” Carmen’s jaw ground tight, voice starting to growl with that gravelly warning shake that had Fak flinching. “You better tell me where you put my fuckin’ car keys, alright? I-I’m not sitting here, ok? I’m not gonna sit around wi-with my fuckin’ thumb up my ass like a jagoff while my wife and kid are a-at fuckin’ Sugar and Pete’s!”

“Carmy,” Fak tried to keep his voice calm and firm, like Sugar and Richie had coached him to, hyping him up before he entered the house. “I can’t give you your keys right now, becaus-”

“-Oh, fuck you! Fuck you! Who the fuck do you think you are, huh?” Carmen roared, teeth bared and eyes narrowed.

Fak didn’t think he’d ever say it, but he missed the sad Carmen from before. When he’d been sent to check on Carmen and Richie, to find out where the hell they were before Sydney had a meltdown in the kitchen, only to find a nearly hyperventilating Carmen and an unsure and frantic Richie trying to calm him. Fak had known Carmen a long time, his whole life, really, and never once had he seen him so… so sad.

That sadness was long gone now. In its wake, an anger, worse than before, than he’d ever seen or could have imagined. Fak had just tried to comfort Carmen, offer up some encouragement that you and Teddy and Anchovy were all ok, taken care of- at Pete and Sugar’s. He didn’t realize how that would flip the switch, how it would infuriate Carmen.

“I-I’m Fak.” Fak blinked, nervously. “You know me. I’m your friend, Carm, and I-I’m just trying to help you-”

“-You’re trying to help me? You’re trying to fuckin’ help me by keepin’ me away from my wife?” Carmen’s voice boomed, shaking the walls of the house.

Even in his loud rage, the house seemed too quiet, too still. There was no baby TV show on, no hum of the diffusers, or Anchovy’s small purrs and chirps. Carmen missed him, missed him jumping on the counters just to piss him off. He missed you defending him, missed how Anchovy would startle and run anytime Teddy would gurgle or whine.

God, he missed Teddy. He spent the first night in the nursery, sitting in the rocking chair, staring blankly ahead, wishing he had the small screaming bundle to rock to sleep.

Carmen couldn’t bring himself to go into the bedroom. Not again. Not after he found your ring laying there. He’d scared Richie so badly with his cries that Richie had enforced the ‘Mikey Prevention Plan’, his twisted humor of a way at keeping Carmen from being alone, from hurting himself in his misery.

“Carm, I-I can’t.” Fak stuttered, looking at the door, begging Richie or anyone, really, to walk through the door. “You know I can’t.”

“This is fucked up, Neil. You know that? You know how fucked up this is? Keepin’ me from-from Teddy? From my kid?” Carmen took a long drag of the cigarette, smoke blowing out of his nose with his panicked breathing. His hands still shook, everything was still shaky and rattling with uneasiness inside him.

“Carm, I- Don’t say that.” Fak shook his head, he could feel himself caving. Carmen could too.

“You’re keepin’ me from her, Fak. You know that? You know you-you’re keepin’ me from my daughter? My baby? Don’t you-you know how fucked up that is?” Carmen shook his head, lips pursing in disgust. “You’re lettin’ Richie boss you around like he always does, an-and you know, you know deep down that this is wrong. Keepin’ me from them is wrong.”

Fak hesitated, a nervous sweat breaking out on the back of his neck. “Richie said-”

“-Richie can get fucked. Ric-Richie doesn’t know shit! He doesn’t know shit, you know he doesn’t know shit, a-and you’re lettin’ him tell you what to do? Richie?” Carmen scoffed, throwing his hands out. “The fuck does Richie know, huh? H-He’s divorced, an-an-and barely sees his kid-”

“-Hey!-” Fak’s eyes widened in shock. “Carmen, you don’t-”

“-Is that what you want? You want me to end up alone?” Carmen’s eyes are wild, crazed, but he goes still. “Y-You want me to end up like-like Richie? Li-Li-Like that?”

Fak swallows, both standing in the thick, tension filled silence. “Carmen, I-I can’t.” Fak shook his head slowly. “I don’t… I think you need to, I don’t know, I think you need to calm down before you go see them.”

“Calm down, you’re tellin’ me to calm down.” Carmen snarled, bitterly scoffing at Fak. “Fuck you. Alright? Fuck you. I will never forgive you for this shit. You hear me? You-You doin’ this to me, keepin’ me from my family. I’ll never fuckin’ forgive you.”

Fak flinched, Carmen’s words cutting brutally through him with a bitter sting. Carmen stormed off, the front door slamming with a force that sent vibrations through the house. Fak was surprised it didn’t split the wood in two. Walking towards the front window, he saw Carmen storming off, furiously lighting another cigarette, running a hand through his hair, again. Fak assumed he was out of Spirits, that he’d smoked through another pack, walking to the corner store to get more. After thirty minutes, he called Richie, frantic that he’d let Carmen loose.

“What part of Mikey Prevention Plan don’t you fuckin’ understand?” Richie sneered over the phone, trying to keep his voice low so the new hires didn’t hear. As far as they were concerned, Carmen was on a vacation, only the OGs knew the truth.

“I-I didn’t mean to! I swear!” Fak’s voice lilted high, a shrill of nerves that had Richie’s eyes pinching in annoyance. “I thought he was going to the corner store to get more cigarettes, an-and then he didn’t come back for a while-”

“-What’s a while?” Richie muttered, catching Tina’s eye through the glass. She set her rag down quickly, walking towards him.

“I dunno… Fifteen, thirty minutes?” Fak mumbled. “Maybe closer to an hour now. B-But then I went to look for him, and he wasn’t there, so I asked the guy working and he said he hadn’t seen him, and-and now I’m driving around trying to find him. I-I’m shouting his name out the window and everything!”

“He’s not a dog, Neil, he won’t-” Richie huffed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I know where he’s at.”

“You do?” Fak perked up.

“Yeah, I mean, no, but I-I’m pretty sure I know where he’s at since you fuckin’ told him where they were stayin’.” Richie rolled his eyes bitterly. “Just- Come over here and get me, alright? Let me call Pete- God, you and this fuckin’ kid, got me callin’ Pete. You’re killin’ me Neil Jeff.”

Richie hung up the phone with a huff, looking up at Tina. “What’s goin’ on? Jeff alright? What’s he doin’?” She pressed.

“Yeah, Fak-Fak fuckin’ lost him.” Richie rubbed his forehead in exasperation. “But, I think I know where he’s at. Have a pretty good idea, anyways.”

Tina eyed Richie carefully. “Richie, you know I love that kid, you know I do. But if he’s fuckin’ with Mama,” Tina shook her head, lips pursing in fury. It was no secret how taken she was to you, even before the affectionate nickname that came with the pregnancy.

“He’s not,” Richie shook his head. “He’s stupid, hot headed, a fuckin’ baby- all that. But… C’mon, T, you and I both know he loves her. He wouldn’t do anything to them. Do somethin’ to himself before that.”

Tina paused but nodded, face softening. “So, you know where he’s at then? You don’t… You don’t think he’s gonna…” She couldn’t bring herself to say it, looking at the picture of Mikey with Richie, Tina, Ebra, and Marcus only a few months before he passed. Carmen had placed it at the front, a reminder of the legacy that was there before him, of The Beef and his brother.

“No, I hope not.” Richie muttered, looking at his phone’s screen with dread, Pete’s contact on the screen gleaming back at him nearly mockingly. “I think I know where he is.” He sighed, pressing the button.

Pete could feel his phone buzzing in his pants, ignoring it as he held the front door in a white knuckled grip. He hadn’t expected to see Carmen there, on his Ring camera, knocking on the door softly, softer than he expected given his manic looking state.

“H-Hey, Carm,” Pete closed the door as casually as he could, only leaving a sliver open. “What, uh, what’s up, man?”

“Hey, Pete,” Carmen could barely meet his gaze, suddenly overly aware of how disheveled he must have looked.

“Uh, what-what brings you by?” Pete stuttered, heart picking up when he heard the soft thump behind him, Anchovy lurking behind his legs curiously. He gripped the door, shuffling his legs together, trying to close it on his frame so Anchovy wouldn’t slip by.

“C’mon,” Carmen sighed, a tired look in his eye, too exhausted to even be pleading. “You know why I’m here, alright. I-I know they’re here.”

“W-Who is? Sugar? Yeah, she-she’s off today.” Pete stiffened at the claim, swallowing nervously, trying to play it cool. Anchovy meowed loudly behind him, cringing when he was given away by the cat.

“Pete, don’t-” Carmen pinched the bridge of his nose, breathing in slowly, trying to calm the tears that threatened to fall. He could hear Anchovy, hear the sounds of the house- the home. Soft child shows, the hum of the dryer, all the things that made the house feel alive. Carmen would give anything to have his home sound like that again, the silence was beginning to drive him crazy.

“Where is she?” Carmen looks up, his gaze much harder than before, a frantic look beginning to take over his sadness.

“I, uh, I-I don’t-” Pete stutters, fingers tapping on the wood of the door anxiously.

“-Pete, I really don’t want you to fuck with me right now, alright?” Carmen takes a deep breath, trying to swallow back his emotions that were already beginning to climb in his throat again. “I need to- I-I need to see her, Pete.” Carmen couldn’t bring himself to say your name, sure even the first syllable would have him in tears, breaking down on the front porch.

Another meow, louder than before, came before Pete could answer. The soft scratching of Anchovy’s paws on the door, a demanding meow that Carmen knew all too well. He’d learned to drown it out, or try to. It became nearly a soundtrack to your sex life when you’d first gotten the cat, locking him out of the room so you two could fuck, only for him to yowl and scratch and demand to be let in. Carmen could remember how you’d giggle, pouting at him exaggeratedly to let him in. His heart fell with an ache that was warm yet still made him feel sick.

Pete looked down at the cat, then back at Carmen, a hesitant grimace on his face. “Carm… You-You know I would,” He started. Carmen’s heart soared with hope, eyes wide, a near adrenaline rush of excitement shooting through his system. “But…You know I can’t.”

Carmen’s heart crashed, shattered with the hope he’d finally begun to find, to feel again. “What the fuc- Pete, that’s… Pete, c’mon. C’mon. Yo-You gotta let me in. Let me in.” Anger surged through Carmen’s chest. He closed his eyes tight and tried to swallow it down. All he’d been is angry. For weeks now, it had been a never ending cycle of anger and sickness and distraught, all amplified to new heights the second you left.

Carmen could feel himself spiraling, ears starting to ring again, rushing and roaring flashbacks flooding into his mind. Your face when you left, Teddy’s cries, the critic’s pursed lips, Sydney’s disappointed face when he forgot something again, Tina’s eyes cutting. Carmen turned, shaking his hand lightly, trying to do a breathing exercise he saw on YouTube, years ago when he’d moved to New York.

His breaths were deep, shaky, but deep enough that it cleared his head, dulled the ringing. His mind wandered back, Richie’s voice ringing in his head. “You wanna get her back? Quit actin’ like a goddam baby. Quit actin’ like this isn’t your own fuckin’ fault. Like you didn’t do this shit to yourself, Cousin. Take some fuckin’ accountability, grow the fuck up, and get your motherfuckin’ shit together, alright? And maybe-maybe you’ll get your family back.” Richie’s voice rang clear through his mind from a few nights ago, when Carmen was especially mean and awful.

“Hey, uh, you alright?” Pete hesitated, leaning towards Carmen, his grip on the door loosening.

Carmen took a deep breath, running a hand over his face before he turned back towards Pete, eyes shining with tears that threatened to fall. “Pete, please? Please?” Carmen begged, voice soft, cracking at the end. “Please, jus-just let me see her? L-Let me talk to her? Just- Let me tell her tha-that I’m sorry. Please… I need to tell her I-I’m sorry. Don’t-”

“-Carmen?” Sugar gaped, her voice coming from behind Pete. She pulled the door open, shocked gaze dropping into furious, jaw setting in a near snarl. “What the fuck are you doing here?” She hissed.

“Why do you think I’m here, Natalie? Huh?” Carmen snapped in anger, rolling his eyes in annoyance.

“Oh, you’ve got a lot of fucking nerve showing up here.” Natalie snapped back, pulling the door open and stepping out on the porch. She stood in front of her younger brother, arms crossed in a standoff.

“Pete, go inside.” Sugar sneered, her gaze not moving from Carmen’s. She felt like they were children again, having a staring contest to see who got the last piece of gum from Donna’s purse, only this time, it was for worse.

“Nat, I-”

“-I got it.” Natalie said firmly. Pete didn’t argue with her, simply nodding, shutting the door softly behind them. Her eyes held Carmen’s gaze, both of them intense, furious at the other for other reasons.

“You should be ashamed of yourself-”

“-I am-”

“-Mortified.” Sugar sneered, giving him a disgusted shake of her head. Carmen shifted, biting his own tongue to keep it from lashing out at her. “Do you know what I came home to the other night? You want me to tell you?-”

“-No, I know-”

“-No, I’m going to tell you.” Natalie snapped. “I came home after a very long shift because our head chef decided to, oh, I don’t know- disappear and go on a psychotic rampage apparently.” Natalie scoffed sarcastically.

“And I walk through the door, ready for bed. Maybe a glass of wine, maybe a bath, maybe to finally catch up on my shows with my husband; and you know what I found instead?” Sugar took a step towards Carmen, intimidating him with her harsh glare. “I find my husband taking care of your baby because your wife is sobbing-”

“-Don’t-”

“-No, no. I mean, sobbing. A total broken mess on my kitchen table, because she said you,” Sugar jabbed a finger at Carmen. “Decided to come home and scream at her. Not only scream, but say some of the most volatile, disgusting things I’ve ever fucking heard in my life to your wife, the mother of your very much so still a newborn baby.”

Carmen felt the familiar wave of nausea wash over him, swallowing back spit that pooled in his mouth with a cry that threatened to fall from his chest. He couldn’t bring himself to speak, to look at her gaze anymore. It felt too judgemental, left him feeling too vulnerable and sick of himself under it.

“So let me ask first; What the fuck is the matter with you?” Natalie sneered.

“I don’t know.” Carmen’s voice was tight, jaw tighter, fighting a tremble that was threatening to break. “I-I don’t… I don’t fuckin’ know. I-I didn’t- I didn’t mean it-” A single tear fell, slipping out of the corner of his eyes, sliding down his cheek- the final crack in his demeanor.

Carmen tried to fight it, deep breaths that burned his lungs and nose to control the tears, keep him from breaking here on his sister’s porch, but they wouldn’t stop. Carmen wasn’t sure how he had any tears left, after crying for days on end, how he hadn’t shriveled up his tear ducts. Yet here he was, broken sobs slipping out again.

Sugar didn’t move. Arms still crossed over her chest, lips still fixed in a hard line, watching Carmen with intensity as he broke down, tears flowing in front of her. She didn’t comfort him, not that he expected her to. She didn’t try to give him words of encouragement, advice on how to right the wrongs like the others did. Instead, she kept a furious gaze on him, unmoved by the tears.

“Please,” Carmen sniffed hard, running the back of his hand over his nose. “Please, Sugar, please. Ju-Just let me see Teddy. Let me se-ee her. Don’t-Don’t do this to me. Don’t ke-ep my kid away from me-”

“-Me?” Sugar scoffed, pushing her hand into her chest. “Oh, no. No, no, no, no. Don’t you even start that shit, Carm. I’m not keeping your kid away from you, let’s make that clear.”

Carmen’s breath hitched when she stepped towards him, toe to toe with him, teeth bared in a grit of anger. “I didn’t take your kid away. You know who did? Hm? You.” Natalie snapped, Carmen flinched at the cruelty of her words. “You did this, Carmen. You did every last bit of this. This is on you. No one else but you.”

Carmen held in a cry that threatened to break out, face crumbling with tears. He rubbed his hand over his face, trying to soothe the burn and hide his distraught. “And you know something else? I know you don’t remember dad very well, but I do, ok? And lately, you’ve been acting just like him.” Sugar’s tone clipped, leaving a burning sting in Carmen’s chest at her words.

“Yelling just because shit didn’t go your way? Do you know part of the reason mom’s so fucked up? Why everyone takes her side all the time and babies her? Uncle Jimmy and Uncle Lee? It’s because dad used to berate her, scream at her so badly- say some of the worst shit in the world because he was stressed out, that those guys would feel bad for her.” Sugar ranted. “And I promise you- promise you if I told Uncle Jimmy right now what you said, how I found your wife, he’d agree with me. Maybe even worse.”

Carmen shifted, his heart squeezing in fear now. Jimmy loved you, always had. He held a special soft spot in his heart for you. Worse was probably right, and truthfully, Carmen would accept it- he deserved it. It wouldn’t be as bad as how he felt right now.

Natalie held Carmen’s gaze, letting her words sink in. She lifted his hand when he started to talk. “I don’t-I really don’t want to hear it, ok?” Natalie shook her head. “And before you start trying to come up with some excuse-”

“-I-I’m not-”

“- I want you to know something. To hear it and really listen to it.” Natalie paused, waiting until his eyes met hers to continue. “I know you’ve been through a lot- We’ve been through a lot. But that doesn’t mean you get to just treat people like shit. That you can act like this and it’s ok.”

“I know that.” Carmen’s jaw was tight, strangled words croaking out.

“Then act like it.” Natalie snapped. “It’s not easy, none of this is easy, Carm. I mean… Do you know that every day- every single day, I wake up and something happens that’s shitty or rough, and I think about how easy it would be just to grab a bottle of wine or two. Drink myself unconscious like mom does. Just how easy that would be, how nice it would be just to drown myself out instead of face the issues.”

“There’s days when MJ or Maggie or-or Pete just drive me fuckin’ nuts, and I want to pull my hair out, or scream, or Pete will do something that just pushes me right over the edge and I just want to rage.” Natalie continued, arms waving dramatically. “I want to throw in the towel, take the easy way out, rage, drink myself silly, scream at all of them until I feel better, but you know what? You know what I don’t do? I don’t do that.”

Natalie crossed her arms, taking a breath to steady herself. “I don’t do that to them because I know how that feels.” Her voice cracked, just barely, enough to show the emotion that was hiding underneath. “I know how that felt. I know how that made me feel.”

Carmen could feel his eyes brimming with tears again, too emotional to be embarrassed. Donna’s many red faced, slurred screaming tyrades came back to his mind. How he’d hide, try and stay quiet and invisible to avoid them. Even as he got older.

“I know how that fucked me up. How it fucked them up. How it fucked you up, an-and Mikey up. I mean- how it…it fucked our whole life up!” Sugar laughed humorlessly, throwing her hands up in mock defeat. “I just… When I think about that, and about how it just ruined all of us. That’s the last thing, the very last thing, I’d ever want to do to my kids, to Pete, t-to anyone, really.”

Carmen nodded, too overwhelmed with emotions to speak. His throat burned, scratchy and sore from screaming and crying. His chest was tight, constricting his lungs, stealing his breath. He was on the verge of an anxiety attack, maybe something worse, yet, he felt eerily calm in the moment. Still even under the shame and hurt her words brought. He sat on the porch, sure his knees would give out soon, head spinning and dizzy with this damning realization.

“You need to make up your mind. Make a decision, right here, right now.” Sugar continued behind him. Though he couldn’t see her, he knew her face was stoic to hide the hurt, hide the emotions. A classic Berzatto deflection trait. “You need to decide what you’re going to do to be better for your family. If you’re going to continue to be a selfish, piece of shit, or if you’re going to change; be better.”

Carmen’s shoulders shuddered with his next breath, deep but not intentional; like he didn’t even know he did it. Too dazed and deep in thought, staring blankly ahead. “I can tell you,” Sugar stepped towards the door. “It’s not comfortable. It’s not easy. It is so hard some days. You have to fight for it every day, fight to break shit that was drilled into you, fight to recognize that some things you do, you don’t even mean to. It takes a lot of work, but… I’d rather fight every single day to be better, to be kinder and softer and more understanding for my family, than to not have them at all.”

Carmen couldn’t stop thinking of you. How you were so naturally nurturing and sweet. You’d always been like that. You were loving and gentle freely. You’d always been so patient with him. It almost made him feel insecure, inferior, when he thought of it before, but now, he just wanted to return the favor.

“You decide what you want to do, and then maybe- maybe you’ll get to see them again.” Sugar turned the door knob, pushing it open. “But today? Not a chance. Go get yourself together before you try and do this again.” Carmen flinched at the door slamming behind her, harder than he thought it would. Still, he didn’t move from his spot on the porch, head in his hands, deep in thought about his future, his past, everything.

“There he is!” Fak’s voice was muffled through the car window, slowly pulling to a stop in Sugar and Pete’s driveway.

Carmen looked up slowly, taking a slow, grounding exhale in, just as Richie and Fak climbed out of the car. “Cousin, thank fuckin’- You better be glad he’s here.” Richie glared at Fak.

“I am!” Fak chirped defensively.

Carmen stood slowly, turning one last time to look at the front door. He couldn’t see through the small privacy glass on the door, but he swore he could hear you- hear your voice. Soft and hushed, a little cautious mixing with Sugar’s reassuring one. It took everything in him not to turn and bust the door down, run inside and throw himself at your feet, begging for forgiveness.

He knew that time would come.

Instead, he walked to the car, sliding in the backseat, ignoring the confused looks Richie and Fak gave each other. “So, uh, did you-”

“-Don’t ask that.” Richie cut off Fak with a bark of annoyance. “What’s the matter with you?”

“Nothing! I just- I thought we all wanted to know-”

“-Hey, Cousin,” Carmen muttered, staring blankly at the house. Richie hummed, turning to Carmen carefully. “What’s, uh… You-You said you had someone for me to talk to?”

“Yeah,” Richie nodded slowly. “The therapist?”

Carmen paused, swallowing slowly. “You…You think she’d see me now?”

“Right now?” Richie lifted a brow. Carmen nodded slowly, still looking past him, eyes glued on the house. He swore he could see a figure move- your figure, peeking through the blinds before ducking back into the shadows. “Yeah, I’m sure she will. I can… I can call her. See what I can do.”

“Thanks.” Carmen twisted his wedding band gently, the car jolting gently as Fak started to back out.

Fak turned around, looking from the back window to Carmen with a hesitant grimace. “You ok?” He asked, his voice dropped to a low hush with Richie on the phone beside him.

“No,” Carmen admitted, shoulders slumping in defeat. “No, I-I’m not, but… I wanna be.” Carmen looked at Fak, eyes glassy with emotion. “I gotta get my shit together. Gotta do better f-for my family.”

Fak nodded slowly, pulling out onto the road, slowly shifting the gears back into place. The car began to roll, Carmen watching Sugar and Pete’s house disappear in the rearview. His heart tore, ripped right down the middle and split at the seams knowing he was leaving you, Teddy- his family behind. It took everything, every ounce of strength not to turn around, not to run back. It hurt, but he realized, this is what Sugar was talking about.

So, Carmen went to the other side of town, to the small building where Richie’s therapist was. His counselor he’d started seeing a while back, when he was on his purpose journey.

It was weird, weirder than Al-Anon. Carmen felt entirely too vulnerable sitting in that chair, having her stare at him and only him, nodding as he told his ‘story’- it felt weird to call it that. He didn’t want it to be his story, his defining qualities. No, Carmen wanted a new story, a better one with you and Teddy and his family. He’d told Dr. Mullins that.

“I think that’s a great start, Carmen.” She nodded, giving him a soft smile. “So, tell me how you’d do that.”

Carmen scoffed lightly, looking down at his hands. “I, uh, I don’t really know.” He admitted. “Kinda thought that’s what you were for.”

“You’re right. I’m here to help you reach that goal, maintain it.” She nodded. “But in order to do that, I need to know a little more.”

“Like what?” Carmen muttered. “I don’t really remember my dad and all the bad shi-stuff he’d do.”

“You said you didn’t want that to define you, so let’s not talk about that.” She shook her head softly. “Let’s focus on what you want. What kind of life you’d want to live with your family.”

Carmen’s knee bounced, taking a shaky breath. “I… I don’t want to lose control.” He admitted. “I don’t want t-to scream, and say shit I don’t mean, and-and to take it out on people who don’t deserve it.” He looked up at her. “I don’t want to do that again.”

“Good.” Dr. Mullins nodded slowly. “Let’s start there.”

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ohtobeleah · 1 year

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M.U.R.P.H // Bradley Bradshaw

Summary: An undisclosed pregnancy that you and your husband try keeping a secret ends up being the reason you end up in hospital during a PTI session with the Dagger Squad.

Word Count: 6k

Warnings: Pregnancy. Bradley Bradshaw x F!reader. Mild Angst.

Author Note: Happy Saturday! This is pretty self indulgent but I final finished this one-shot that’s been in my drafts forever.

“Alright team.” Pete Mitchell, although overworked and severely underpaid for the crap he put up with–grinned ear to ear at his group of elite Naval Aviators who sat before him after debriefing this morning's training exercise. “As you know, this weekend is Memorial Day weekend and the Admirals have decided to get a jump start on the events.”

“Are we getting a long weekend?” Fanboy beamed hopefully as he sat up a little straighter. “Please tell me we’re getting a long weekend—“ He hoped that if he asked with enough conviction in his voice the answer would be yes. However, he hadn’t noticed you standing at the back of the room. A protective hand over your barely visible baby bump. Waiting for the right moment to make your presence known. Bob had noticed though—he was already dreading what was to come. He hated Memorial Day. Not because he didn’t want to pay respects to those who had fallen, no. He’d honour the fallen every damn day if he had to.

So long as he didn’t have to participate in Murph.

You’d been his PTI during his time in Lamoore. You were the first Bradshaw he’d met and before he later Met Bradley Bradshaw and put two and two together that the two of you were married–nothing had ever made more sense.

Bob’s heart had sunk into his ass when he found out you were being transferred to North Island. You were somewhat of a hard task master when it came to gruelling training sessions and Memorial Day always gave you free rein to send anyone packing with their tail between their legs if they couldn’t keep up.

You were, however, a solid friend. When you weren’t working, you were the life of the party. The brightest smile in the room and always the one who everyone gravitated towards. Much like Bradley, you two always seemed to get the party started. Whether it was playing great balls of fire and singing at the top of your lungs—or starting an important dart night that saw a permanent tally board hung up beside the much too loved dartboard. There had been a time or two where you’d challenged the strongest of the bunch to an arm wrestle—Bob was always the first to bow at your bark. Not one to challenge anything you said, hell he’d do just about anything you told him to do….

So long as he didn’t have to participate in Murph.

Bob had never been one to believe in soulmates before he saw you and Bradley together, he’d never met two people more suited for each other. But neither of you needed to hear that from him–you’d already managed to figure that out on your own.

“No, Fanboy—“ Maverick sighed as he gestured for you to make your way to the front of the class. “No you aren’t getting a long weekend, what you are getting though, is a killer workout with PTI Bradshaw.” You heard the mixed reviews your introduction received. You’d only just recently finished running annual fitness testing for those who needed to be re-evaluated. So the idea of yet another gruelling workout tossed their way wasn’t what some of the aviators had in mind for a head start on the weekend.

Jake Seresin and Javy Machado however? Oh they were wrapped. They loved a challenge—they adored you and they certainly came over the challenges you loved to hand out.

“Morning everyone.” You beamed as you handed Rooster, you beloved husband, who sat in the front row with a soft grin, a pile of papers. “Take one and pass them along please Lieutenant Bradshaw.” Your fingers lingered across Bradley’s for a few seconds as he smiled softly back at you with heart shaped eyes. He always thought you looked so different with your hair pulled back into a ridiculously tight bun. Your uniform made you look so different, nothing like what you looked like at the Hard Deck with your hair out and mum jeans on. Sitting beside him at the piano playing great balls of fire. A Margarita in your hand and his glasses over your beautiful eyes. Nothing like what you looked like tucked into his side, hair splayed every which way and silk pyjamas adorning your beautiful body.

“Physical Training Instructors play a key role in developing and maintaining the health, fitness and well-being of our airmen. In the United States Navy, physical fitness is absolutely essential in maintaining good health and overall wellbeing.” Pete Mitchell had been required to say that little statement prior to any session he handed over to you. “Regardless of Rank, PTI “Agony” Bradshaw will be your superior for the next two hours—with that I hand you over.”

“Thanks Mav.” You chuckled, appreciating the way you were so respected by the veteran aviator. PTI’s didn’t always have the best wrap—so when Maverick commanded the attention of everyone in the room on your behalf it gave you a little more confidence each and every time. “Alright flyboys—“ You teased, turning your attention to Phoenix so you could address her too. “And Flygirl, today we’re doing MURPH—“

Your declaration was met with a choir of dismay and disapproval from at least half of the team that sat before you. Suddenly their shoulders were a little more slouched and their faces plastered with existential dread when they started reading over the workout plan you'd had Bradley pass back. No one liked doing MURPH, except maybe Jake Seresin.

“Ma’am, I think that sounds like a great idea—“ Hangman sent you one of his thousand watt grins as he played with the toothpick that sat between his teeth. “Don’t you think your wife here comes up with some banger ideas, Rooster?” Bradley did think you had some good ideas, he wasn't going to let you know that though–if he did he knew his workouts, his Personal Training sessions and his Fitness Testing would just increasingly get harder and harder. It had only been by the skin of his goddamn nose that you passed his last Multi-Stage Fitness Test. Bradley Bradshaw was a hunk and with that meant he himself was not the most aerodynamic of the bunch–Bob had passed with flying colours, although you did nearly force him to restart his push-ups again when you caught him cheating on range.

“She told me what she had planned last night Hangman, I’m ready to go, brought my pre workout in my bag and everything—“ Rooster just sighed as he leaned back in his chair, spreading his legs as he brought his hands up to rest behind his head. “Piece of cake.”

“I have never heard anyone say MURPH is a piece of cake.” Phoenix groaned. “Aggie, please–”

“I don't make the rules, Lieutenant, I just enforce them.” You had gotten used to the love-hate relationship and animosity you received while you were in uniform, it was your job to make sure none of the navy’s finest aviators let their fitness fall to the wayside. “Now for those who don't know what MURPH is, i'll explain quickly then you can all take twenty to change, refuel, and meet me over in the gym.” As you pulled out the empty chair that sat vacant next to your husband, you used it as a footstool before propping yourself up on the desk. Clearing your throat before reading out the workout explanation on the sheet you'd distributed.

“M.U.R.P.H is a hero WOD dedicated to Michael P. Murphy, the first service member to receive the Medal of Honor for service in Afghanistan, during a Memorial Day event on Bagram Airfield, Afghanistan, May 24, 2015.” Although there were more people sitting before you who didn't like the idea of such a gruelling workout, they did respect the fallen. “Michael's favourite workout was dedicated to him after his passing and thus, will be your workout today.” You felt the stomachs of everyone, all but Jake And Javy who just sat a little straighter in their chairs, drop.

“Today you will complete a one mile run, 100 pull-ups, expected to be chest to bar, 200 push-ups, 300 bodyweight squats, and to finish up we’ll run another mile.” Bradley crept a hand around your calf, thumbing your uniform as he squinted his eyes and bit his bottom lip, hoping you wouldn't add anything else to the list…..He should have known better. But he couldn't hold a grudge against you–not when you were four months pregnant and glowing. You were hiding your pregnancy well, it wasn't that you didn't want your friends and family to know, it's just you wanted to revel in the experience with Bradley for a little while longer before telling everyone you were both expecting. “Usually the twenty pound weight vest would be optional, but boys and girls you are some of the Navy’s finest Aviators, so you will all complete this course while wearing a twenty pound vest, none-notable people.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~*

In the locker room, Nomex Flight Suits had been discarded for workout gear. Standard issue work boots had been replaced by trainers, and any and all standards of professionalism had gone out the window. It was the one thing everyone actually did enjoy about having you as their PTI, you weren’t big on formality. As long as respect was there you couldn’t give a rats ass about if people swore at you or razzed you. It made the job just a little bit more enjoyable.

The last thing anyone wanted to do while they were working out was keep a rigid and professional persona.

“Man, sometimes I hate your wife.” Phoenix grumbled as the group walked out of the locker room with towels slung over their shoulders and copious amounts of pre-workout scooped into shakers. Bradley couldn't help but to laugh, he loved you so much, the wedding band wrapped around his ring finger was there to prove it. The tattoos of your name on his left ass cheek was also there to prove it.

“I wouldn't let her hear you say that.” Bradley paused as he took a swig of his pre-workout before handing it to Jake who looked like he was pumping himself up for the fight of his life. “She’ll ‘accidentally’ forget to count your reps and make you start again.”

“This is surely a form of torture–” Fanboy added as he trailed behind with Bob.

“It's a hero WOD Fanboy–respect the dead.” Jake hissed, he was as keen as, the only one in the group who hadnt had a negative thing to say about your workout plan. “I don't know why you guys aren't more excited.”

“Unlike you Hangman, most of us aren't gluttons for punishment.” Payback teased as he came to sling an arm around Jake's shoulders. “Or degradation, considering the unholy things I've seen in your search history.” Jake and Bradley had grown closer in the past few years that saw them in North Island permanently, there had been more times than you could count where the two of them would stumble back to your humble abode, drunk out of their minds. There had even been a time or two where you'd caught them spooning on the couch when Rooster couldn't take the stairs in his drunken state.

“None of which compare to what Bradsaw probably cops in the bedroom.” Jake was quick to turn the attention back on Rooster, sending him a smirk over his shoulder as he took a quick sip of the pre-workout they were sharing and handed it over. “Huh Rooster? Agony probably has you wrapped around her little finger.” It was no secret amongst the group that you were a power house PTI, you didn’t dish out any workout you couldn't do with your eyes closed, something that the Daggers really valued about you was your integrity. You were honest and kind and above all, you levelled with them. You weren't a hypocrite and you, as much as you hated your job some days, the constant pressure, the delayed onset muscle soreness, the gruelling workouts and the sweat, you led by example and practised what you preached.

That didnt mean you and Bradley wouldn't reserve Friday nights for takeout and chocolate.

“That she does.” Was all Bradley replied with, “Have you fucking seen her? She’d kick my ass any day of the week if I gave her any ounce of crap.” He was without a shadow of a doubt whipped, but Bradley had always been that way with you–ever since he met you at his first water survival training weekend, he was down bad. He’d been assigned to your little group that first Saturday and you sent his heart into the stratosphere the first time you smiled at him. He was still unsure if it had ever come back or if your unconditional love and admiration just kept it hovering in the ozone layer.

“She looks like she's glowing.” Bob remarked as the group mixed with nervousness, existential dread and far too much ego radiating of one particular member made their way across the tarmac to the base gym you could be found in any given day of the week. It was your home away from home. Kitted out with state of the art equipment, a spacious and functional environment that was welcoming and motivating. “She's far too excited about this, oh my god.”

Bradley knew you were glowing, but he also knew it wasn't because you were excited. He knew that it was because of the little one growing inside you, a mix of him and you. He kind of hoped it was a boy, but everyone always told him he’d make a good girl dad. Regardless–he just wanted to be a dad, his biggest achievement by far would be being a good dad.

“She really is.” Bradley beamed as he heard the unmistakable tune of AJR’s Burn The House Down blasting through your speakers, reading over the workout plan one final time as you sat on the sled track, legs sprawled as you hummed away in your own little word. Twirling the pen you held in your hand absentmindedly, Bradley’s voice brought you out of your concentration. Alerting you that the team was ready to be put through their paces. “We’re hear for your torture session, Agony, don’t hold back on Hangman though, he’s been gloating since, well–forever really.” Bradley teased as he offered you a gentle hand, helping you rise up from the felt sled track. You immediately felt a dizziness unparalleled to anything you'd ever experienced before. So much so you fought off the urge to succumb to the feeling of descent as you stumbled and stammered for a second.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind, Lieutenant.” You smiled, exhaling as you steadied your equilibrium. Bradley caught on immediately that you were feeling slightly uneasy, placing a soft hand against the small of your back as you cleared your throat and rolled up your sleeves a little. “Alright, So I’ve measured out half a mile along the airfield, so it's half a mile to and half a mile back– You can either run the tarmac or use the treadmill.” You explained to everybody standing around listening in to what you had to say.

“Can we break up the reps Y/n?” Payback asked as he shouldered Bob, forcing him to lose his footing slightly, stumbling for a second as he sent Payback look. “Or is it strictly 100, 200, 300?”

“I don't care what you guys do so long as you get it done.” Your tone made Fanboy shiver, you could be a hard task master when you wanted to be. “Start warming up and we’ll get this show on the road.” Bradley was quick to sneak a peck on the cheek when the group started to disperse, all except for Hangman a little on edge about what was to come.

“You feeling alright darlin?” He cooed, walking with you over to your desk where you’d left your water bottle.

“Your baby is the size of a pear at the moment and she's already giving me a hard time.” Neither you nor Bradley wanted to know if you were having a boy or a girl, you wanted it to be a surprise, both having made lists that kept growing with names galore. “I'm just starting to feel really sluggish, which is hard to hide when I'm usually the energiser bunny on base.”

“Dr. Richards did say you’d need to pull back a little the further along you get baby." It was hard to accept that you would eventually have to slow down, up until about two weeks ago you had been fine, apart from the morning sickness you had dealt with in the first trimester. Bradley respected your boundaries when you were both at work, knowing professionalism in the workplace was important to you, however–that didn't stop him from discreetly placing a gentle hand atop your stomach, finding the small baby bump hiding under your work uniform. The camo green fabric warping around your naval under his palm. “But that doesn't mean you're not any less capable, just means you’re growing our little boy which in my opinion, is pretty spectacular.”

“Just means we’ll need to tell everyone sooner rather than later Roo.” You sighed, taking a sip of your water, not knowing that Phoenix had spotted the gentle touch of your husband's hand resting on your stomach for a brief moment. Her eyes wide in shock as her jaw slacked slightly. Phoenix though, the master of recovery, disguised her surprise when you turned around to round up the gang that were all in the process of warming up in some way shape or form. “Alright, we can stagger the start for those who aren't warm enough–” You side eyed Bradley as he scoffed at you, leaving your side to join his colleagues. “

“Let's go boys and girl, we’re doing Murph baby!” Jake hollered out, clapping his hands down on Javys shoulders, pumping each other up as you laughed, a smile creeping across your face. “Bradshaw! You gonna try keep up with the big boys?”

“Think I might taxi with Bob.” Bradley replied, jogging on the spot before giving his lower back a little twist side to side. Bob just rolled his eyes, to the untrained eye he was the kind of guy who kept his shirt on during beach days, but he thoroughly enjoyed cardio. If Rooster's plan had been to taxi with him during the mile run he was in for a rude shock, but Bob knew he was gonna lose time in the pull-up department. “You ready to go man?”

“As ready as I'll ever be for this kind of workout.” Bob groned. “If I say I twisted my ankle now, do I still have to participate?” The group all laughed at the near winge that left Bob's mouth, he really wasn't up for this today–but what you came back with made the gym explode with boisterous laughter.

“If you dont be careful Lieutenant Floyd l’ll pack an extra pound into your weight vest.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

Phoenix saw her opportune moment to strike about half way through the first half mile. Bradley was starting to show a red hume across his face, a thin layer of sweat had started to form across his forehead and Phoenix knew that if he was focusing hard enough on keeping his pace steady with one foot in front of the other, she knew he was in no position to formulate a lie.

“So–Bradshaw.” Phoenix started as she came up to jog beside Rooster. “How far along is she?”

“How far along is who?” Bradley replied as he kept his head straight, focused on the marker up ahead that indicated the turn around point. Watching as Jake and Javy booked it around one another, racing ahead of the rest of the group who had all opted to taxi their way through this.

“Agony, she's pregnant.” Phoenix spoke with such conviction that Bradley found it near impossible to try and formulate a lie that would cover up the truth of the matter. “I saw you put your hand on her stomach, and I know you wouldnt do that if she wasnt pregnant.”

“She's feeling a little off today, little spud is kicking her around a little.” It was all the conformation Phoenix needed to let out a little squeal as she beamed at Rooster, smacking him in the shoulder. “Ow!”

“Why would you keep this from us! Rooster! That's amazing, congratulations!”

“We just wanted to enjoy it for a while, just us, we haven't even told her parents yet.” Bradley explained as he made it to the turnabout point with Phoenix, both keeping each other's pace. “She's four months, we don't wanna know the sex, but everything is going the way it should, doc said she’ll need to start pulling back soon though.”

“Ah, so thats why she isn’t participating in the torture.” Phoenix had picked up on the fact you weren’t participating today, she thought it was odd that you weren't but wasn't about to question it. She was scared you'd match her attitude and give her an extra 100 push ups. “Mrs Bradshaw is knocked up.”

“Yeah.” Bradley chuckled, he liked the sound of that. “I had to beg her not to last night when I saw the MURPH file sitting out on the dining table, got down on my knees and everything.”

“You couldn't have just talked her out of the whole plan entirely?” Phoenix whined, starting to feel a little more puffed from talking as she jogged with Bradley. Starting to really feel herself warming up.

“Oh trust me, I tried that too.” Bradley explained, laughing as he remembered how that conversation ended. “She seduced me just to get me to shut up.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

By the time Rooster and Phoenix got back to the hanger turned gym, Jake and Javy were already going ten reps for ten reps with their pull ups. Bob, Fanboy and Payback were just standing there, watching as they caught their breath and waited for Rooster and Phoenix to return.

“Alright ladies, now that everyones back, there's no rest for the wicked.” You turned up the volume on the speaker you stood by before making your way over. “Lets hussle, clocks still ticking and the faster you get this done the less time you have to spend here with me.”

Fanboy groaned as he turned to Bob, sharing a painful look of ‘I'm over this already.’

“How are you gonna break this up, Roo?” You cooed, coming to stand by your husband as you watched Payback and Phoenix get to work on the rig, everyone was working on their pull ups first. “If it was me i'd do ten at a time.”

“I think I should be able to manage twenty-five at a time.” He smiled, mumbling under his breath in your ear as he leaned in to kiss your earlobe. “Phoenix knows you're pregnant by the way.”

“What!?” You gasped. “How did she find out! You said we weren’t gonna tell anyone yet?”

“Saw me touch your stomach before, figured it was a little sus.” Bradley cooed. “I'm sorry.”

“No, no don't be, it was bound to happen sooner or later.” You accepted the reality, watching as your group worked through their reps, taking notice of Bob who was severely lacking in his rep range. “Floyd! Chin to bar!”

“Yeah Bob, chin to bar.” Hangman added, laughing with that thousand watt grin he was known for. “Bradshaw! Stop trying to flirt your way out of this!”

“That's my cue.” Bradley groaned, throwing his head back as he ran his hands through sweat covered locks. “Play nice please.”

“Nope, hop to it Lieutenant–” You bit back, biting your bottom lip as you cautiously and ever so discreetly slapped Bradley on the arse, watching as you sauntered away with a little more pep in his step.

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“I feel like my arms are gonna pop off!” Next was the push ups. Mickey groaned as he did his set of twenty as you came to kneel beside him. “You’re a vicious and cruel woman.”

“Well I guess Agony is rather fitting, isn't it Fanboy?” you questioned through a soft laugh as you pressed a hand between his shoulder blades. “Retract your scaps, you're relying too much on your triceps, put the pressure through your chest and your longevity will increase.”

“If i wasn't so mad i'd say thankyou.” He groaned, keeping on keeping on with his reps. As soon as he was done, Rooster started his, same as Payback.

“Hmm, I'll take it.” You ruffled Mickey's hair, wiping the sweat you collected onto the thigh of your pants as you stood, feeling light headed as you rose too quickly. “Oh–” Your vision blurred momentarily as a slight ringing in your ears rang out, you tried to breathe through it, but you couldn't catch the feeling.

“Hey Aggie, you okay?” It was Hangman who noticed that you were looking a little unsteady at first, but as soon as the words were leaving his mouth? You were going down. Your eyes rolled in the back of your head as the dizziness from standing too quickly took over you entirely. “Oh shit!” It normally wouldn't have been an issue, but you'd been feeling a little unsteady all day. “Y/n–” Hangman was quick to move to break your fall, catching you in his arms before you could hit the ground. “Rooster! Get over here will ya?” Jake called out, Bradley hadnt seen you fall, he was too busy focusing on his push-ups. “It's Y/n.”

“What's wrong?” Bradley asked as he stood, noticing you passed out in Jake's arms. “Oh my god, hey–” He cooed, tapping your cheek softly as he crouched beside you on the other side of Jake, the whole ordeal had grabbed the attention of all the aviators you had in your gym. “Hey, darling, you okay? Open your eyes for me baby.”

You did, slowly, fluttering your eyelids with a soft groan as you tried to sit up, still feeling dizzy.

“Woah–easy there killer, what's going on? I've never seen you pass out like that before.” Although Jake was technically addressing you, Bradley held a palm to your forehead as he pressed his lips together, watching as you struggled to focus on what was going around you.

“She’s pregnant–” The gym went completely silent at Bradley’s major announcement. “I gotta get her to the hospital in case there's something wrong.”

“Bradley, I'm fine.” You tried to reason with your husband as he scooped you up and into his arms, waiting for you to wrap your arms around his neck before he stood. “I promise, I just felt a little light headed is all.”

“Yeah, no I don't care, we’re getting you checked out.” There was a distinct shift in Bradley’s tone, before he was playful, enjoying the workout as much as he could but now? He was as serious as ever, nothing was more important to him than you, his family.

“Bradley, I'm in the middle of instructing a class.” Again you tried to defend the unnecessary need to go get checked out. You really didn’t feel like it was that big of an issue. “I can’t just leave? Everyone needs—“ Before you could finish, Bradley was interrupting.

“Guys? you good?” Bradley turned around, addressed the totally stunned and flabbergasted group who just looked at him like he’d just dropped a major bomb on them. That his wife was expecting, you were gonna be a mother, and he, Bradley Rooster Bradshaw, was gonna be a dad. “You know what you’re doing don't you?”

“Uh, yeah–” Bob started.

“We’re good.” Payback stammered.

“We’ll be fine, just go make sure everything’s okay.” Phoenix added.

“What do you mean Y/n’s pregnant!?” Hangman asked, standing there with wide eyes and a confused expression. Bradley didn’t respond, he simply turned on his heels and continued on his way, carrying you over to the admin building on base to get you checked out.

“Do I need to have the sex education talk with you Seresin?” Phoenix teased. “Did your parents never give you the birds and the bees talk?” Jake just sent her a look.

“You fucking knew didnt you?” He called Phoenix on her cool calm and collected manor. Something was up.

“Only for like twenty more minutes than you.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

“Take a picture, it’ll last long.” You pouted from your position on the hospital bed, hooked up to a heart rate monitor. Bradley sat beside you, hand in yours as he just stared at you. Trying to get a read on how you were actually feeling because he knew you weren’t telling him the truth.

“Woah, that was incredibly rude, Mrs Bradshaw.” Bradley teased as he let go of your hand, leaning back in the chair he sat perched in. stretching his arms up over his head, enough so that the bottom of his shirt pulled up, exposing his lower abdomen for a second. An incredible sight. “I'm just doing what any good husband would do, you know, making sure your health is in top priority.”

“I'm A Personal Training Instructor for the United States Navy.” You reminded your husband, deadpanning him as you swirled your palm across your stomach. Stupid hospital gown covering your small bump. “Uncle Sam pays me to make sure you keep your health in tip top shape, it's not the other way around.” Bradley sent you a childish lok as his snickered back at you as you stuck your tongue out at him. “Listen, I’m fine, I'm just not used to my equilibrium being so off, I got up too quick and lost my balance, I'm fine.”

“Why don't we let the doctor be the judge of that?” Bradley sighed, leaning forward as he rose from his seat to kiss your cheek. You just accepted the loving gesture as he cupped your cheeks, swiping the pad of his thumb across your cheek. “I just worry about you, because I love you and if anything ever happened to you I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for not doing enough when I could have.”

“Good thing I love you more huh?” You cooed, watching as Bradley sat back down as Doctor Richard’s entered the room.

“That my dear, is not possible.” Rooster just managed to get his reply in before Doctor Richards smiled.

“Well the good thing is there doesn't seem to be anything wrong with bubs from the ultrasound.” She explained as she read through your chart. “But it seems as though you’re experiencing some bouts of low blood pressure Mrs Bradshaw.”

“Low blood pressure?” Bradley questioned. “That can just happen? Y/n doesn’t have low blood pressure?” He was right, you didn’t, but you seemed to have it now.

“I can assure you Mr. Bradshaw it’s a very common occurrence during the first twenty four weeks of pregnancy, I wouldn’t be too alarmed as long as you manage it.” Doctor Richards addressed you as you sat up a little straighter in your bed.

“How would you like me to do that Doc?” You asked with a sigh, it wasn’t that you didn’t enjoy being pregnant. You did and you were so excited for your little one to arrive. What was annoying though was the fact you had been told to slow down, take things easy, enjoy the time you had with your baby. You were naturally a physically active person. Slowing down just wasn’t in your DNA.

“Take it easy. Try to slow down a little? I understand you’re a PTI? Perhaps avoiding strenuous activity for the time being will help.” Doctor Richards explained. “Try to avoid making sudden movements, like standing up too quickly. It shouldn’t be a long term thing but for now? Monitor your systems, drink plenty of water to stay hydrated to increase your blood volume.”

“Aye aye captain.” You groaned, saluting Dr. Richards as you slumped a little. Rooster caught onto your bad mood instantly, deciding to take over the conversation for you.

“We’ll do our best Doc, thanks for checking up on her.”

“Anytime—I’ll have your charts done up and send a discharge notice to the ladies at Reception.” She explained before leaving the room, giving you and Bradley a moment alone. He was silent as you walked Ike’s at him. Expecting him to say he told you so.

“You feelings alright?” He asked softly.

“I’m fine—just need a moment to truly process that my career is over.” You groaned, lying back as you faught of tears, it was the hormones, but not really. You just knew this day was coming.

“What are you talking about?” Bradley asked, concern lacing his tone of voice as he sat as close to you as he possibly could. “Darlin—?”

“If I can’t train, I can’t tell others to train. I can’t be a hypocrite.” You explained as tears fell down your cheeks. “I’ll go on maternity leave and lose my strength, my endurance, my body is already changing and I can only imagine what it’ll be like after having this beautiful baby.” You were well aware how crazy you sounded but it’s how you felt. “Bradley, I hope you don’t take this as me not loving every single moment of this because I am—“ You sobbed as Braldey held your hand and brought it to his lips. “I’m just scared of how becoming a mother is gonna affect the career I worked so hard to build.”

“I understand baby.” Bradley tried his best to console you, he wasn’t going to tell you that none of what you were worried about was going to happen. He knew that there was a possibility it could. It had happened to other women before you and it would certainly happen after. “But if anyone can manage being a wonderful, caring mother and a fierce, incredibly talented career woman it’s you.”

“You think so?” You couldn’t help but to scoff lightly through your tears as you turned your head to look at your husband, so thankful for his every strong presence and support.

“Honey I know so, we’ll do whatever it takes to get you right back to where you were before this little one came along.” He smiled, helping you sit up. “But let’s focus on you now? Alright, keep that blood pressure from dropping, keep you healthy and happy mama.”

“Oh god!” You remembered the fact Bradley had mentioned to every single Dagger that you were pregnant. “Oh my god Roo, they’re gonna tackle us!” You leaned forward into your husband's chest as he laughed and kissed the top of your head. “I guess we better get back and get it over with huh?”

“Yeah, better to rip the Band-Aid off fast than to drag it out.”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***

By the time you got back to base, the entire Dagger Squad was waiting back in the rec room. When you and Bradley entered cautiously, they all stood up as if they were expecting life altering news.

“Is everything alright?” Bob asked, you never thought his eyes could get any bigger—but as he looked at you with hope filled eyes, you knew you’d been wrong.

“Everything’s fine.” You smiled, wrapping your arm around Rooster's torso. Pulling him close as he sighed and filled in the gaps.

“Mum and Bub are doing well, just got a little low blood pressure to manage but other than that? Everything else seems to be just fine.” Everyone went quiet, all silently thanking the heavens above and those in it that nothing major had occurred. Until Fanboy said what everyone was thinking—

“Can we go back to the part where you’re pregnant and didn’t tell any of us?”

***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~***~**

#bradley rooster bradshaw #bradley x reader #bradley bradshaw imagine #bradley bradshaw x female reader #bradley bradshaw #bradley bradshaw x reader #rooster bradshaw #rooster x you #top gun rooster

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tealeavesandtrash · 6 months

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Wolfstar Micro Fic - @wolfstarmicrofic prompt: Dogwalker - 421 words

[unknown number] Hi. Sorry to bother you, Pete gave me your number. I’m looking for a dog walker, he said you might know someone? Thanks, Remus

hi remus i’ll ask around, what are the dates? sirius

This Thursday? Hopefully for 2 weeks but I’m having an op so might change I know it’s short notice but everything fell through and I'm running out ideas

sorry, just talking to pete i’ll do it

You will?

yeah i work round the corner, i can take him out at lunch

Thank you so much you're a lifesaver

no probs

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Thanks for today I think Padfoot likes you

good bc I like him too also no offence, when pete said knee replacement i was expecting a grandpa

None taken And no offence, when Pete said dog groomer, I wasn’t expecting so much leather and tattoos

no offence taken ;)

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[attached photo] stick maybe coming home with us

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[attached photo] You've knackered him out

————

I have phsyio this morning Key is in flowerpot if I'm not back

no worries

————

how was it?

An hour of them teaching me how to bend my knee Like I haven’t been doing that my whole life??

well… you werent doing a great job of it if they had to replace it

Hilarious.

————

[attached photo] He’s waiting for you He knows your late

sorry padfoot :(( tell him ill be 5 mins x

————

okay so slight incident

What happened??

[attached photo] big fan of muddy puddles

Oh jesus

ill take him back to work and clean him up

You really don't have to I can bath him

no offence ive seen you hobbling about you cant wrangle him into a bath and kneel down to wash him

I can handle it You’ve done enough already

its fine i had a cancellation won’t be a full pamper but youll have a squeaky clean pup back at 2

————

I dont think Padfoot's ever smelt so good

thats the blueberry pawfume

The what

pawfume dog perfume blueberry scented

didn't know that was a thing

next opening i have hes getting the spa treatment

————

PT's cleared me for low-impact exercise Aka get off my arse and start walking more

Oh congrats! I mean I’ll miss padfoot But glad ur healing good :)

Well You can still come with? Padfoot really likes you And I like talking to you

I like talking to you too

Or I coud take you out to dinner? As a thank you for everything I couldn't have coped without you

It’s a date x

#the absolute rage when i copied this over from my docs a relaised tumblr doesnt do right aligment and i had to reformat the whole thing????#but also i can get away with not as much proofing bc any typos are intentional style choices sksksklksk #remus lupin #marauders #sirius black #wolfstar #complete #oneshot #micro fiction #wolfstar fanfiction #marauders fanfiction #maddy writes #texting fic #dog walker au #modern au #remus x sirius #wolfstar microfic

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cindytoast404 · 8 months

Text

hatchetfield dashboard simulator

🎧average-theater-enjoyer Follow

whoever got the last tickets to mamma mia i hope you fucking die

☄️harbringeroftheapotheosis Follow

I have good news for you, op!

3,428 notes

🌺cryingonthefloor-deactivated20210424

running for honey queen this year, wish me luck!!!

🛍️ queenb-deactivated20210503

Alright, Liz Cunningham from Clivesdale.

🌻fuck-clivesdale1935 Follow

GUYS OP JUST GOT DRIVEN OUT OF TOWN WHAT LMAO

🪶birdwatcher Follow

To be fair, she was from Clivesdale. Anyway, respect for whoever got rid of her. You’re an icon.

🪻thetheoristsofhatchetfield Follow

oh my god this post is so interesting. there’s doxxing. both original commenters are now missing or dead. did some research and apparently the honey queen pageant winners have kept turning up missing every year. what is going on over there

☁️floatingupabove Follow

that’s just the average beauty pageant experience

6,364 notes

🐽theonewhofeastsinthedark Follow

cannibalism 👍

72,263 notes

📱alicewoodward Follow

does anyone else think we should shut down watcher world? i mean that place has gotta be violating at least 5 different safety rules, right

💜blinky’s-sniggles-deactivated20200104

ihaven’t eaten in a week! ::)

📱alicewoodward Follow

jesus christ don’t you guys have like. a union or something

💜blinky’s-sniggles-deactivated20201004

we would, but then he’d get mad! :::)

📱alicewoodward Follow

god. can someone get these bitches a lawyer

👨‍⚖️garygoldstein-attorney Follow

Hi, Gary Goldstein, Attorney at Law-

📱alicewoodward Follow

does this town really only have one lawyer

73 notes

👁️ watcher-world-official Follow

This is your friendly reminder to tell a Watcher World employee if you see a sniggle acting against the rules. This includes accessing social media of any kind, including tumblr. It is forbidden by the Watchers, and any sniggles caught using it will be reprimanded.

On another note, ticket prices are now 50% cheaper! Stop by for a weekend of fun. You’ll never want to leave!

43,464 notes

🪴emma-the-crabby-barista Follow

some guy just walked into beanies and just ordered a cup of black coffee for once. see this is how it should be. no fancy drinks, make my life easier. tall random stranger i am in love with you

🪴emma-the-crabby-barista Follow

update: we’re dating

264 notes

🖼️ horror-lover Follow

okay but why is wiggly kinda… 😳😳

☁️ floatingupabove Follow

THE DOLL??!???

🍏 uncle-wiley Follow

I literally sold my soul for that bastard and this still threw me for a loop.

🤓pete-has-been-waiting-for-five-fucking-years Follow

Why is there blue in my hot chocolate.

☄️ harbringeroftheapotheosis Follow

i recommend you drink it!!! :)

🤓pete-has-been-waiting-for-five-fucking-years Follow

…Okay.

🤓pete-has-been-waiting-for-five-fucking-years Follow

i feel like singing.

712 notes

#dash simulator #hatchetfield #hatchetverse #tgwdlm #nightmare time #nmt2 #honey queen #black friday #unreality #starkid #cindy thinks about the implications

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lanadelreyscokewhor3 · 2 years

Text

PREACHERS DAUGHTER- P.B PARKER

Pairing: Best Friend! Peter x Fem! Reader

Word Count: 3.4k

Summary: you and peter were complete opposites, you the goodie two shoes preachers daughter, him the bad boy next door. yet fate has pulled the two of you together, and you can’t help but feel a certain lust for him.

Warnings: ORAL (fem), teasing, kissing, marking, pet names, best friends falling in luvvv, swearing, weed involved, booze mentioned, praise kink, masturabtion mentioned, lotsss of dirty talk, peter blowing smoke into reader mouth

based of the album- preachers daughter, by ethel cain

It was mesmerizing- the way his fingers moved.

You felt as if you were under a trance, the watch on the chain swinging back in forth in front of your eyes, hypnotizing you.

His rings, silver and shining in the pale moonlight the clock hands, the veins that ran up his wrists acted as the numbers that blurred together after some time.

Each component drew you in as his fingers strummed each string, moving up and down the fingerboard to play each chord, a sweet melody emerging from the instrument.

Your mind was far, far off from the homework you swore to yourself you would be doing tonight, despite having your best friend over. You knew you couldn't focus on anything but him, yet you let him slip through your window, with the cracked and peeling paint you refused to paint over- because you and Peter were the reason for its damage.

You refused to change anything he had touched or wrecked, whether that be the broken dresser handle that was hanging on for dear life, or the jumble of photos the two of you had pasted on your walls while drunk out of your minds.

They looked awful, all crooked and cluttered to fuck, but you didn’t touch them.

Refused to. If Peter placed them there, that's where they stayed.

You looked up at them now, gaze focusing on the smiling faces that stared back at you, that watched over your every move- in a comforting sense. Their presence lingered, as you peered back over to Peter, following the sound of strum from the strings, the sound coming to a screeching halt as he suddenly fished for something in his ripped jean pocket.

He was so beautiful when he was concentrated.

The subtlety bite of his lip, pearly whites tugging on the flesh with a sense of urgency as his jaw would clench. The way his messy, slightly ruffled russet hair would fall in front of his eyes, rings glimmering as he slid his hand through the locks to push it back into place.

You wanted to run your fingers through his hair, wanted to tug on them to make him hiss in pleasure, the way he did the one night he had decided to use your thighs as a pillow. Peter's reaction was tenuous, a slight growl escaping from the cage of his clenched teeth.

You noticed, though. You always noticed, when it came to him.

“Bunny? You want one?” he asked softly, pre-rolled in blunt twirling between his large fingers, making you stare in awe.

“Bun?”

Oh shit, you were staring.

“N-no Pete it’s okay. I’m good for now.” you smiled, a heat rising to your cheeks as you forced yourself to stare back down at your tattered notebook filled with scribbles and numbers you had no clue what to do with.

It was better than looking at his fingers and getting caught again.

Anything was.

“Alright pretty but you let me know if you want one okay? Your asshole of a father won't find out, if that's what you're worried about.” he chuckled softly, throwing you a wink as he toyed with the drug, a cat with its dinner.

Of course that's what you were worried about. You were the minister's daughter, a holy saint if there ever was one. The good girl, your father's little angel.

We have a reputation to uphold Y/L/N. Don't mess it up, or there'll be consequences. Big ones.

You had followed his words as he did with passages in that dog-eared bible of his, the rosemary beads sprawled out as a bookmark for his pages.

So, how in the world did Peter Parker- the boy wrapped in sin your father warned you about, end up as your best friend, the man you trusted with your life? You didn't know, but you were thankful for it.

It made you laugh every time Peter offered you a smoke, he knew your answer had never changed, yet he always offered anyways. He was sweet that way. It was different with weed, you supposed.

You were always terrified your father would be able to see right through you, be able to sniff the drugs on you like a hound dog. You made excuses for booze.

Your father provided red wine during Sunday services, the blood of the lord for all to taste, cannibalism in its cleanest, purest form. Counting on two hands the number of times you and Peter had snuck into the old, gothic church your father managed, getting drunk off the wine in the wooden pews under the stained glass windows was impossible.

You watched as Peter leaned his guitar against the windowsill, grabbing a lighter from his other pocket, the snake tattoos curled and wrapped along his finger seeming to hiss at you in the dim light of your room.

“Peter?” you called, making his head snap up, the fire from his light diminishing as fast as it came. “C-can I light it for you?” you asked shyly, watching as that boyish grin that you loved so much came to his face, dimples appearing as he took you in, realizing you were serious.

“You wanna be an angel and help me out eh?” he teased, making you nod frantically.

Angel.

The words alone had your toes curling in your thigh-high socks you knew Peter adored, his fingers always seeming to toy with the little black bows whenever he got the chance. He towered over you even more than he already did as he stood, making his way over to where your body was lounging on the ruffled white sheets.

“Dad’s not home ya know. I forgot about that.” you tugged on your inner cheek, watching as Peter dropped to his knees before you, like a devil about to spread its wings.

Begging for mercy before you.

“Does that mean you do wanna hit then?” he asked, blunt between his teeth as your thumb flicked the flame to life, watching the blues and oranges crackle as you lit his joint.

“Don’t know how.” you shrugged, watching as he exhaled, the sweet sickly smell of weed filling your senses as he exhaled.

“We can try something if you want bunny. D’trust me?” You nodded, eager to obey his commands. He smiled, rings cold against your chin as he grabbed it lightly, the pads of his fingers slightly calloused from the strings.

“Say ahh bunny.” You opened your mouth widely, the smoke he had inhaled floating into your mouth as he exhaled, fogging up your lungs. He was so close you could hear the thud of his heartbeat, could feel the soft heat rolling off him in waves to soothe you in a gentle embrace.

“Atta girl!” he laughed as you felt the sticky taste coat the back of your throat, mouth turning dry as the Saraha.

“Peter this tastes like shit.” you groaned, coughing and sputtering as he gently slapped your arm. “No swearing. Or else I’ll wash your mouth out with soap.” he teased, making you burst out in laughter as he rolled onto the bed, smooshing your lower half with his bodyweight- making you groan as his head lolled.

You felt your skin warm to the touch with how close he was to you, your legs parted slightly so he could wedge his way between them and rest on you.

“I gotta do my homework silly.” you smiled as he took another puff, his eyes turning a fair shade of red as he watched the smoke slither upwards.

“I can be your study buddy if ya want.”

“I’d get no work done if you were my study buddy. You distract me too much.” you teased, giggling as his hand reached over to tickle your thigh gently. “We’d make such a great team. We could be on the mathletes together bunny.”

You rolled your eyes at his sly commentary, a hand slipping through the soft, messy tumbles of his hair as he sighed in happiness. Nails began to scratch his scalp soothingly, and his chest began to rumble- purring like a cat as you tended to him.

Just as you wanted.

The curtains rustled in the breeze that snaked through the cracked window goosebumps appearing on your bare skin as the papes blew. You looked out through the glass, scoping out the graves that surrounded your house.

You could map out the entire cemetery as you had lived in this old, creaking house your entire life- could picture every little twisted path and old rusting benches that were scattered. It was peaceful here, the only real company consisted of the ghosts and Peter when he came over to visit.

Your father was never really present, too busy with the works of the church than his own flesh and blood.

It was an easy silence between the two of you, one you enjoyed immensely. It was different than the other silences you had dealt with in your lifetime- long and uncomfortable. With Peter, they were pleasant and easy, a place where you could be in your own thoughts and not feel bad about it.

You were lost in them now, as you looked down at him.

He’s never looked so beautiful. How did I get so lucky- to score him as my best friend?

Continuing your head scratches, you let your head lull against the headboard, closing your eyes to tune out the world. He continued to smoke, hand resting on your thigh with each inhale.

“You got somewhere I can put this angel?” he asked, hand waving as he gestured to the stump of the blunt, the weed diminishing. You hadn't realized how much time had passed, the hands on the clock hoping forward since the last time you had looked over at them.

“Over there is fine.” you pointed to the little dish on the dresser you had left for him whenever he was over, degrading it whenever your father returned home.

You didn't comment on how much Peter had smoked, just as you didn't comment on how much whisky your father drank whenever he got mad.

You didn't care enough.

He shuffled up, puffing the remainder towards you, the smoke cascading around your cheeks, tickling your eyelashes as the old bed creaked.

“You’re such a doll, you know that?” You smiled.

“Maybe. It's not like you tell me allll the time or anything.” you teased, poking fun at how sweet he was to you. No one was as ever kind to you as Peter was. It made your insides tingle, made your skin all sensitive to the touch.

He smiled that cheeky grin that drove you wild, tapping the ash into the dish before he crushed it with his fingers, rings glittering in the soft candlelight. Your homework was long forgotten at this point, your attention solely focused on the beautiful angel of a man that stood before you at the foot of your bed.

“Hi.” you waved to him, his hand raising to wave back from across the room.

“Hi bunny.”

“Cmere.” you insisted, and he smirked as he crawled onto the bed, the look in his eye hungry as he took you in. You looked at him now, really looked at him as his strong arms slid to each side of you, caging you in his hold.

He was black and blue, the beautiful melancholy shades in between. The way he loved was different than anything you had experienced before. It was scary, a freefall into the depths of the icy water you were scared to tread. But it was numbing- the way he cared.

A soft and sweet energy, that pricked you gently like pins and needles. His breath was warm as he refused to break eye contact and you wanted to shrink into the depths of the mattress as you felt yourself cave.

“I bet you taste so good.” he confessed softly, his words making you shudder with delight.

You knew where this was going. It was heading down the old beaten path the two of you had stumbled down so many times, when you were both drunk off sin in the walls of the church.

You liked it.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah angel. Mmm god I think about tasting you all the time, your skin, your lips, your fingertips..” he trailed off, head dropping down to your chest, rubbing his nose against the skin of your collarbone.

You felt your hips wriggle, wetness seeping into your panties. “What do you think they taste like?” you sighed as his teeth gently grazed you, biting into your flesh to mark it as his own.

“Like cinnamon n sugar. So. Fuckin. Sweet.” he kissed your neck between each word as you gigged softly, his plump lips making you squirm.

“You’re so addicting baby. The things I wanna do to you…” he smirked, licking a stipe where your silky nightgown dipped, revealing the slight curve of your breasts.

Heels were dug into the ruffled sheets, the sound of your books falling to the hardwood below echoed as the strong breeze brushed you again. No amount of wind could chill the fire that was burning in your veins right now.

“But we can’t do them. Cause we’re best friends.” you pouted, running your fingers along the back of his neck, curving them around to trace each vein that pulsed as he shivered.

“Who says?” he whispered, like he was in a trance, and you felt your dress being pushed up, up, up to pool around your waist, your stomach exposed as his head dipped down towards it.

“Best friends do everything together bunny. Don't you think about me like I think about you?” he asked mischievously and you nodded frantically.

“Mmm sometimes.”

“Cause I think about you alll the time. Think about how good you’d be for me when I’m strokin my dick.” he confessed, shuffling down to trail kisses across your stomach, your legs spreading wider as he found his home between them.

“Y-yeah?” you whimpered, heart beating so fast you heard the blood racing in your ears, his voice sounding distant. It was hard to focus, but at the same time it was hard to focus on anything but him.

The human body was a funny thing, sometimes. How yours could bend and contract to his will at the whisper of his voice, at the touch of his skin.

“Mmm yeah. You make me wanna do such bad bad things. But you’re too sweet for that.”

Oh god. Oh god, oh god, oh god.

“Peter-”

“Can I tase you? Please? Just a lil lick, I swear.”

You moaned at his words alone. How did they sound so sweet, so innocent when there was so much filth behind them? You could never say no to him.

Never.

“Please.” you urged, the chill breeze making you tremble as he removed your thong, your knees bent slightly over his shoulders. It happened in a blur, time seeming to jump and snap back again as he had you under his thumb, hanging onto every word he said.

The first lick sent you into overdrive, body shifting up gears as you crude out his name- hands tugging at his strands of hair as if they were reins. The faint scent of weed trickled through your nose, blemishing your skin and sweat as it trickled.

You couldn't think. Couldn't move, couldn't speak.

You and Peter had fooled around before but this…this was new territory. And it felt good. A lick turned into a taste as you heard him growl, tongue stroking through your sensitive folds again.

“You- you said just a taste-” you panted out, hips thrusting against him as he chuckled.

“I lied. You should've known.” he teased, eyes meeting yours again- stare so intense you had to look away.

It was frightening- the eye contact. It was an endless void, a freefall you weren't sure if you'd have a hand to catch you. It was filled with an emotion you couldn’t quite place, a haziness that made you feel sluggish, like you had drank too much cheap booze, and smoked too many cigarettes.

You were as breathless as the summer's night outside as he dived back in, malnourished and needy as he devoured you. His lips suctioned around your clit, sucking it sweetly as you wethered and moaned.

“So so sweet…” he murmured. You felt yourself snap under him as his tongue pushed you over the edge, releasing onto his face as you cried out. His hands tightened their grip around the barricade of your thighs, chin gleaming with your juices as your body shuddered from the aftershocks.

“That's a girl. My sweet sweet angel.” he sang out, shuffling up to kiss your lips gently, the taste of yourself staining your mouth. You savored his affections, wrapping your arms around his neck, desperate for something to cling to.

You were scared to let him go, scared he would leave you vulnerable and open like all the others. He sensed your hesitation, rolling over to the side of you, nuzzling his head into your neck as you continued to hold him close.

“Was I good?” you asked meekly, your biggest fear not being enough for him.

He just smiled.

“More than good. The best.” he whispered, kissing your skin. You exhaled a sigh of relief, tension seeping from your bones as you cradled him.

You heard an owl coo out from the branches of the old oak tree that scratched your house, the wind howling against the old siding. You basked in the emptiness of the room, no one here but the two of you and the peeling posters that peered down at you from the walls.

He wasn't leaving you. He wasn't embarrassed or ashamed and he was staying with you. He wanted to do this.

It was hard to think about, hard to wrap your head around it as you had been so shameful of your desires towards him for so long. The old wooden cross that was hung above your bed seemed almost mocking as it reflected in your vanity mirror, a symbol of overcoming sin now with a meaning diminished.

“You awake?” you asked Peter softly, ripping your eyes from the wood, knowing your father's words would haunt you the longer you were left to your own avail.

There were so many responses you wanted to spew out to him.

God loves you- but not enough to save you.

But you didn’t, to save yourself the abuse of his wrath.

“Mmm.” he mumbled sleepy, the weed putting him a place of serenity and calm as he synced his breathing with yours. “Did you want me to return the favor?” you mumbled, feeling bad he didn't get the same opportunity you did.

He just shook his head. “Another time angel. Let me just… lie with you. I like when I just get to be with you like this.” he yawned, bed creaking as he slung his arm around your waist to pull you closer.

“Okay. Whatever you want.”

Silence.

You sighed, flexing your feet, then pointing your toes. The red polish glimmered as the shadows of the wax dripping off the candles bounced off the walls, the smell of the incessant to “hide” the weed smelling of sandalwood.

A truck rumbled in the distance, its tires rolling against the gravel. Peter sat up, eyes flickering to the headlights that beamed towards the house, making you feel anxious as you clung to the bedsheet.

Was your father home early? He wasn't supposed to be home until tomorrow night, and you knew if he walked in on you and Peter- you’d never hear the end of it.

“Is he home?” Peter shook his head as he moved towards the window, and you readjusted your nightgown. His hair was messy and rumpled as he stood, hands resting on the windowsill as he peered down.

A grin was on his face as he turned back to face you, your heartbeat slowing its dangerous pace with an exhale.

He wasn't home. Or else Peter wouldn't be smiling.

“Well? Who the hell is at my house at-” Your eyes flickered back to the clock. “Eleven at night?”

Peter just shrugged, a cheeky look on his face as he walked towards the bedroom door, grip on the brass handle tightening as he swung it wide open.

You heard the front door open, two familiar voices echoing from down the hallway.

Bucky and Steve.

“Look who decided to pay us a visit!” Peter laughed, making you shake your head with a smile.

Look who decided to visit indeed.

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sinner-for-starker · 6 months

Text

"Come on, bambino, be a champ and take daddy's cock." Tony whispers to his son as he pressed his tip against his son's cunt. Peter was slowly reduced into a babbling mess with tears running down his cheeks as he relaxes his cunt around his dad's big cock.

"Too big." Peter hiccups- eyes wide- looking so sinful with moist cherry red lips- flushed pale skin and glassy doe eyes. "D-daddy- it's- you're too big for me!"

"Oh no- is my little kiddo feeling sore with just daddy's tip inside his cunt?" Tony asks in a fake condescending manner, he reaches in between them and began playing with the boy's clit, the boy shrieks- arching his pretty back off of the bed. "You can do it, sweetie pie, you're daddy's good boy right? You want to be daddy's good boy?"

Peter whines and nods promptly, "Y-yes! Yes- Am- Am daddy's good boy." his kiddo says in a more confident tone. Tony could feel his son's walls relaxing around him but fuck- the boy was still so fucking tight around his thick cock.

"That's it- that's it, m' boy, just like that- fuuuuck- fuck you always feel so good around daddy's cock, my love, the light of life." Tony praises Peter as he began moving his hips in a slow gait, his hips snapping with hard fervor as he forces his cock deeper into his son's smaller cunt.

Peter's small moans and movements of his hips to meet Tony's pace was enough of an indication that the boy was enjoying it- with tears running down his cheeks, Tony leans close and licks the boy's cheek before pressing his mouth against Peter's lips, locking his son into a feral saliva-exchange while Tony pounded his cock, hitting every spot that makes Peter squeal into his mouth.

"Da-dad! Daddy! Am gon- gonna cum daddy!" Pete wails into Tony's mouth.

"Go ahead kiddo, come on, cum on your father's cock, make a mess, give it all to your daddy, bambino." Tony growls as he hammered his hips harder and faster into Peter's pink cunt that was now squirting and gushing cum on his cock. With three more deep thrusts, he cums with a low grunt, his hips wavering and stuttering as he buried himself to the hilt, filling his son womb with his potent cum.

"Mmm- daddy- so full." Peter says in a gibberish manner, already cock drunk and hazed with pleasure, eyes half closed as he looked at Tony.

"Of course, baby, gotta have my kiddo full and well-bred right?" Tony whispers, pressing kisses against his son's temple, pulling him closer for a hug while his cock stayed inside his son's cunt.

Peter doesn't answer but Tony chuckled when all he could hear were soft snores from his baby boy.

"Good night, 'bino. I love you so much." Tony says tenderly, tucking his kid in with his arms wrapped protectively around his son.

This is dedicated to my baby boy: @tnpt-depravity, I hope you like it my love. And thanks to starkercest fam for encouraging me to write, you peeps are amazing and I'm glad I met y'all.

#starker #starkercest #tnpt #nff #starker smut #tnpt smut #tw: incest #tw: dubious consent #tw: ambiguous age #tw: breeding kink #rob tries writing #tw: afab peter

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my-castles-crumbling · 6 months

Text

Ducks!Marauders (a crack microfic series)

Based off an anonymous request that started this microfic and now it has taken on its own life because people keep requesting more....

"Evans!" James called, running up to the redhead in question, sweating slightly.

She turned, looking at him appraisingly. "Potter. Why do you have a duck in your hands?"

She didn't even look surprised, was the thing. Internally, James wondered if they'd taken that ability from her long ago. "Erm...you had plans with Remus, right?"

"Yes..." Lily agreed, looking suspicious. "But he's late."

"So he never made it to you?" James confirmed with a nod, already turning to run in the other direction.

Lily, however, seemed to need more information. "Potter!"

James turned back around, skidding to a halt. "Yes?" he asked, trying to arrange his features in an innocent expression.

"Tell me that duck isn't Remus," Lily almost begged, looking slightly terrified.

Instantly, James relaxed. Because he didn't have to lie. "Oh! It's not!" he assured her before running off.

As he ran, however, the duck in his arms honked angrily.

"Shut it, Pete, there's no way I'm asking her for help!" James argued with the indignant duck, clutching it firmly.

Another honk made him snort in return.

"Fine! Fine, I'll ask someone. But...not yet. Give me some time!"

The duck did not look pleased.

#fanfic #marauders #harry potter #marauders era #marauders fandom #harry potter marauders #the marauders #the marauders fandom #the marauders era #james and sirius and peter and remus #mwpp

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astxroiid · 6 months

Text

manhattan longing // tasm!peter parker

❥ tender hands, late nights, secrets, falling from great heights.

wc: 1.1k

navigation ✩ new york private life (I) ✩ empire state of mind (II)

Peter Parker never thought a wall looked so good to punch. Sitting backwards on your toilet while you shakily stitch up a gash on his back does that to a man.

The adrenaline from the fall wore off and Peter realized he probably didn't just land on the concrete of the sidewalk.

Plus, the glass you ungraciously pulled from his wound answered any doubt.

Speaking of ungracious, the needle in his back was definitely not forming and sort of straight lines.

Peter clutches the toilet lid like a vice. Knuckles turning white and head feeling light from how long he's been holding his breath.

"Okay, this should be the last one," the tone in your voice makes him feel awful for the pain he's feeling. He can here the sadness in your voice, how bad you feel for hurting him.

You push through his skin, pulling the stitch tight and cutting the string. Peter intakes a breath, attempting to dig his nails into the porcelain he's wrapped himself around.

You set the needle on the counter, both peter and you letting out a long awaited breath. His shoulders slump. You slowly reach up, running a thumb over healed scars, all white and jagged.

"Do you fall on glass often?" Your tone is soft and close to a whisper.

Peter turns his head to the side, looking at you over his shoulder. "No, I...." he pauses, attempting to think of a good excuse. Though, you don't know that. "I used to, uhm, box. Yeah. It was intense."

"Oh," you frown slightly, tilting ur head.

You back up, allowing Peter to stand. He turns to face you, revealing a forgotten scar on his chest.

It's long. It spans from his collar bone diagonally to the bottom of his rib cage and it's almost an inch wide.

"Peter," you whisper. "There's no way you got that boxing."

Peter quickly grabs his shirt off the counter, pulling it over his head. "That one's not, I don't really wanna talk about it."

Shame. Shame and embarrassment crash over you like a cold wave. Why the fuck did i mention it?!

You look down at your hands, digging your nails into the sides of each other. "Sorry, I didn't mean to over step."

"No, nonono, don't be sorry. It's okay," Peter smiles at you and, in one spontaneous moment, he's brushing a lock of hair behind your ear.

His heart is pounding in his chest. Fear of pushing a boundary crawling up his body.

Your cheeks are warm and before you know it, your hand is holding his against your face, thumb rubbing his knuckles.

"You're so sweet, Peter Parker."

Fucking kiss her!

You let your fingers trail along his arm, trying to give him a hint he can pick up on.

Fucking kiss me!

It's the perfect time too. God her smile. And her hands, they're so soft, and gentle. Loving in a way he never knew he needed.

"Thank you for fixin' me up," Peter gives a lopsided smile, pulling his hand back to his side.

A cold absence takes hold of where his hand once was.

"Of course," you give a flat smile. "You saved my life. It's the least I can do."

꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷♡꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦

You offer Peter to stay the night, again saying it's the least you can do in repayment of his heroic act.

You both end up on the couch, curled up watching tv. Again, seeing a couple embrace and feeling the same longing from the other day.

You move to lay your head on Peter's shoulder, letting his arm wrap around you, and sighing into him. Comfort overtakes your body as you sink further into him, slowly running your hand up and down his forearm.

His heart is pounding in his chest. Nerves shaking his hands and his thoughts. "y/n?"

This is it. I'm finally gonna kiss her.

"Yes?"

And with the sweet, sleepy tone of your voice he feels all his confidence start to fizzle. His brain short-circuits trying to come up with a cover up.

"D'you wanna go to bed?"

"Yeah," you yawn, pushing further into him.

Pete leads you from the living room to your bedroom, making sure to turn all the lights off along the way. He pauses once you reach the bedroom, not sure where to go.

You turn and walk up to him, grinning. You place a hand on his chest, feeling his pulse increase.

Peter has no idea what to do. His heart is in his throat, hands tingling.

You let your hand slide up his torso and to the back of his neck, getting as close as you can to him. Peter gulps, looking from your eyes to your lips then back again.

Time seems to stand still, neither of you breathing nor looking away from each other. You tangle your fingers into the brown curls and the nape of Pete's neck, twirling them.

Finally, you pull Peter down to you fully. You kiss him the intensity of the sun. He immediately reciprocates. Your bodies instantly meld into one. Finding their way to the bed and laying you down on your back.

Peter Parker is hovering above you, smiling like an idiot. The same Peter Parker that you loved way back in ninth grade. You were both fourteen, both idiots. The Peter above you now is the same one that fell off the jungle gym in gym class in second grade and blamed you for distracting him.

All the memories swell in your mind, bubbling into one thought you can't help from leaving your lips.

"I have loved you for a long time, Peter Parker."

Peter's eyes go wide, head tilting towards you. "You, what?"

"Have loved you for a long time. since ninth grade to be exact," you state seriously.

You've said it twice and yet, he still can't process it. You notice and try to help him out. You push him over on his side, moving yourself the same way.

"When we were both fourteen, we went on a school field trip to the Empire State Building. We all got to go to the top, but i was afraid of heights. So, you held my hand and told me-"

"If you fall, I'll fall with you," both of you repeat together. And in a crazy twist of fate, you both did fall together.

"I've loved you ever since then."

Peter grabs you by the back of your head, pulling you in for another kiss. Souls connecting into one like two water drops.

He can't believe it. You. You've loved him from the same moment he loved you, and after all this time, you made it back to each other. Falling harder than ever.

remember: likes are appreciated but comments and reblogs are the desire. Remember they do more for authors and tumblrs than a like ever could.

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justabigassnerd · 1 year

Text

Mitchell Charm

Pairing - Pete 'Maverick' Mitchell x daughter!reader

Word count - 1,555

Warnings - a couple of comments about people thinking Mav would be an unfit parent, mostly fluff though

Summary - Iceman and Slider discover that Maverick has a daughter which was the last thing they expected from the man who constantly surprised others

A/N - it's been a hot minute but it's new fic time lads! I am so sorry it took me so long to get this out for y'all this cold has really been kicking me while I'm down. anyways I won't ramble, as per y'all, please send in requests, feedback and enjoy!!!

Since arriving in Miramar for his training at Top Gun, Maverick had remained pretty private with his life outside the navy. Goose of course knew everything about Maverick’s private life since the two were practically family but any other student at Top Gun was clueless about Maverick’s young daughter. Maverick hardly knew nor trusted the people he was training with. He and Goose were all he needed when he was up in the air. Sure, he’d look out for his wingman when he was up in the air, but he’d much rather look out for himself and Goose, they knew what they were doing, and they both had loved ones to return to.

However much he wanted to keep you a secret from his fellow Top Gun students, it was bound to be revealed at some point. When families were permitted to fly out and meet with their loved ones, Carole had packed a bag with stuff for her and both you and Bradley before heading to the airport and jumping on the first flight to San Diego. When you got off the plane, you had been holding on to Carole’s hand but the second you saw your dad, you let go and darted into Maverick’s outstretched arms, laughing as he scooped you up and cuddled you close.

“Daddy!” You giggle happily as Maverick presses a kiss to your temple.

“Oh, I missed you, sweetheart.” Maverick says with a grin, holding you securely in his arms before he greets Carole and Bradley. The five of you decide to find somewhere to eat and soon stumble across a small restaurant along the beachfront. Unbeknownst to the group, Iceman and Slider were walking along to the beach to relax on their day off when they stopped in their tracks upon seeing the five of you. They knew Goose was married and had a son, but they had no idea that Maverick had a daughter.

“Mitchell has a kid?” Slider questions, watching as the group disappears into the restaurant.

“That cannot be true. Maybe Goose has two kids and Maverick is just helping out?” Iceman says, just as bewildered at his RIO. He knew there was no way Goose would’ve remained silent about having a second kid. He bragged lovingly about his family whenever he could. Iceman just couldn’t believe a reckless and dangerous man like Maverick could have a daughter. The pilot and RIO duo chose to move on and would question Maverick another day.

Iceman and Slider chose not to question Maverick while at Top Gun, they knew he’d most likely get defensive and shut them down, so they tried to figure out a way to ask him about it. They debated on asking Goose, but they knew his loyalties lay with Maverick and there’s no way he’d tell them about it. Instead, they happened to run into him again on the weekend. The two had decided to take a break from studying their flight manoeuvres and walk along the beach. As they watched a pair of pretty women walk past, they noticed Goose and Maverick further along the beach. They could see Carole sat with Bradley on her lap as Goose eased himself to sit down next to her. They then saw Maverick chasing after a little girl who giggled wildly as she toddled away as quickly as she could. She soon tripped on the sand and Maverick was quick to scoop her up, lifting her to sit on his hip as she looked up at him with all the love and admiration in the world.

“Mitchell!” Slider called, jogging over to the group as Iceman follows suit. Once the pair reach Maverick, Iceman notices how Maverick’s grip tightened on you ever so slightly.

“Slider. Iceman.” Maverick greets his fellow students, his face emotionless as he stares at them.

“We didn’t know you had a kid, Maverick.” Iceman comments, glancing at you as you wave at the two men, hardly intimated by them, which served as a dead giveaway that you were Pete Mitchell’s daughter.

“I wasn’t aware I had to tell you about stuff like that.” Maverick retorts as Goose rises to stand alongside Maverick.

“I didn’t mean it like that, and you know it. We’re just a bit shocked is all.” Iceman defends himself as he holds his hands up in surrender. In response, Maverick puts you down and tells you to go to Carole and Bradley, ruffling your hair with a grin before you cross to the pair and Maverick straightens up and returns his cold glare to Iceman and Slider.

“Are you trying to say that someone like me shouldn’t have a kid?” Maverick says lowly, angry at the mere thought of the accusation they could be throwing his way.

“No, man, it’s not like that. Shit, we knew Goose had a kid, he can’t stop bragging about his family. No offense man. But we figured you’d be the same. I mean from what we saw before we came over, you adore that kid, so we thought you wouldn’t keep something like that a secret.” Slider says quickly, addressing both Maverick and Goose who fold their arms over their chests in tandem.

“Slider’s right. I mean I did think it was odd that you have a kid. You never struck me as the kind of guy to settle down and have a kid already. You also live dangerously when you’re at work, so I know it was a horrible accusation to make but we just didn’t expect you to be a father.” Iceman continues, glancing from Slider to Maverick who nods faintly at his words.

“I understand why you’d think that. Doesn’t mean it didn’t hurt to hear you thought that. But I appreciate the honesty.” Maverick says to the two before gesturing to Goose, telling him it was okay for him to go and join his wife again. Iceman and Slider exchange an apologetic look with each other before apologising to Maverick quietly. Maverick nods at their words and before he could respond, he feels a small tug on the leg of his jeans, and he looks down to see you looking up at him with wide, curious eyes.

“Hey, squirt.” Maverick grins, scooping down to pick you up when you hold your arms up for him to hold you. Once you’re secure in your dad’s arms you wrap your arms around his neck and cuddle closer to him while looking at the two men standing before you.

“Hey y/n, this is Iceman and Slider. They work with me.” Maverick says gently, pointing out who was who to you as you wave at the two who wave back with soft smiles on their faces.

“Guys this is y/n.” Maverick says, introducing you to them. You then begin to wiggle out of your dad’s hold, wanting to investigate the two men. Maverick places you down on the floor and both Iceman and Slider crouch down to be at your height.

“Hey, y/n. I’m Slider, but you can call me Ron if you’d rather, whatever floats your boat.” Slider grins, watching as you smile back at him.

“I’m Iceman, but you can call me Ice or Tom. Your pick.” Iceman says, smiling softly as you blink owlishly at him. Both men were fully aware that most of what they were saying meant nothing to you, but they figured introductions were needed.

“Hello.” You say with a smile that reminds the two men of the man who stood right behind you. If they hadn’t already had verbal confirmation that you were Maverick’s daughter, your cheeky grin would’ve been what solidified the answer for them. Without warning, you grab Iceman’s hand and lead him and Slider over to where you had begun building a sandcastle and the beginnings of a moat were evident.

“You need a hand digging, Mini Mitchell?” Slider comments as he crouches down alongside the sandcastle as Iceman rolls his eyes at the name Slider gave you.

“Yes please.” You say, grabbing your spade and handing it to Iceman who takes it, immediately complying with your instructions and digging where you wanted the moat to go while Slider used his hands to dig. Maverick and Goose watched on with amused grins on their faces.

“She’s already got them wrapped around her little finger, huh, Mav?” Goose comments as he sits Bradley on his lap, rubbing sun cream on his son’s arms.

“What can I say? It’s the Mitchell charm.” Maverick shrugs as he eases himself to sit down next to his friends.

“Well that ‘Mitchell charm’ of yours isn’t working on them, is it? Seems you needed your daughter’s help to actually stop butting heads with those two.” Carole points out as she digs around in her bag for some water, ignoring Maverick’s spluttered protests.

“Oh man, Mitchell’s kid has us wrapped around her finger.” Slider mutters with a small grin as he continues to dig in the sand, watching as you place sea shells around the castle.

“Rather her than Maverick. Besides, she’s going to need more cool uncles than just Goose.” Iceman replies, sitting back on his heels to rest for a moment.

“Can’t argue with that. Hey, kiddo, how would you like to go and get some ice cream?”

“Ice cream!”

“Hey, stop trying to win over my kid!”

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calummss · 8 months

Text

masterlist

requested by the lovely @zablife . thank you for being so patient i feel awful but i hope you enjoy

prompt this was always how it was going to end

‘What is wrong with you?’

‘What’s wrong with me? What the bloody hell is wrong with you?’

‘With me?’ You stopped strutting, stepping towards his face. ‘Me? Are you fucking insane?’

John reached out for your arm, his tight grip making it impossible to walk off, leaving you in his embrace that no longer gave you the same warmth it used to. It was cold and wet, cold and dark. All you wanted was to go home, eat the food your nan had made you and sip a cup of tea by the fireplace as she talked about her golden age. John had apprehended you as you sat inside of the Garrison, patiently waiting for Pete to show up but as the clicking of the clock continued to burn into your head, you had given up and pitifully ordered four shots, all burning the back of your throat and you wiped your lips with saddened eyes.

‘Don’t touch me,’ you tried to pull back, your heels almost making you trip every time you tried to get away from him but he was also the one that saved you from the dirty streets of Small Heath. John had loosened his grip, enough to get rid of the burning sensation on the skin of your arm. His eyes were dark, no joy, no tears, no pain; just soulless.

‘You are mine.’ He growled at you not caring for the people that eyes the scene in front of them.

‘You don’t own me!’

‘You’re mine. Stop going on these stupid dates. Do they know you’re married? That they’re committing adulterous acts against me?’

‘We divorced, John!’

‘There’s no such thing as a divorce, sweetheart,’ he inched his face closer to yours, his hot breath clashing against the cold air. ‘Til death do us part.’

Your eyebrows softened with the released tension of your forehead. Who was he? What happened to John?

‘Pete won’t come.’

‘Why?’ You asked. Each second letting his words settle, his grip on your arm slowly fading as you tilted your head to look at him. Legs barely supporting your weight. ‘What the fuck did you do John? What did you do? Where is he?’

‘Receiving the punishment any man should.’

‘What the fuck did you do?’

‘I shot him in the head and watched all of his blood spill next to him as I watched life leave his eyes, his breathing stop, as he looked at me and realised that the last thing he would see was me.’

You stared at John processing what he said. Going over every word he had just uttered, not realising that your shaking hand had made its way to your lips, anxiously pulling the skin. And then it dawned on you… ‘Freddie, Roy, Kennedy, Albert…they never showed up, they…never returned any of my calls…John, what did you do?…Oh no no no,’ your tears silently fell.

‘Do you think I share what is mine?’

Sobs

‘If you think it was ever going to end any other way you are a stupid girl. This is how it was always going to end. You can run as far away as you want. Date who you want. Kiss who you want. But I will always find you. And I will take back what is mine. Always’

#john shelby #john shelby imagines #john shelby imagine #john shelby blurbs #john shelby blurb #john shelby headcanons #john shelby headcanon #john shelby fluff #john shelby smut #john shelby angst #john shelby x y/n #john shelby x you #john shelby x reader #peaky blinders #peaky blinder imagine #john shelby fanfic

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piratecaptainscaptainpirates · 9 months

Text

Had a hankerin' to see Ed get pampered and fussed over by the crew, so wrote this little scene. Bon appétit, get loved nerd

It happened, Ed thought, because he still wasn’t used to going without the gloves.

He’d been helping the crew run the rigging, and he’d assumed he’d be fine, estimating based on having some sort of cover on his hands, and he’d fucked up and wound up with a rope burn down his palm.

He grit his teeth and put up with it, only allowing himself to gingerly shake his hand and examine the injury once the job was done. “Shitfuck,” he mumbled to himself as he looked at the blood pooling in his palm.

“What’s that? Rope burn?” Frenchie looked at Ed’s hand over his shoulder, and then waved his hand to get Roach’s attention. “Oy! We’ve got a rope burn!”

Ed jumped a mile at a hand on his arm, and turned to see Archie pointing him to go sit down on the railing.

“No, no, that’s not-” Ed cleared his throat, instinctually stuffing his injured hand in his pocket. “It’s just a rope burn.”

“Yeah, and Jim got a rope burn last week, and they let us take care of them,” Archie said. “You think you’re tougher than them? You wanna say that to their face?”

“Guess not.” Ed allowed himself to be steered towards the railing, and his face burned when the crew gathered around to gawk at his injured hand. Olu winced sympathetically, and Pete tried to pretend he’d seen worse even as he turned a bit green.

“Might need to amputate it,” Pete said.

“Fuck no!” Ed hid his hand behind his back. “It’s barely bleeding, man.”

“Your loss,” Pete shrugged. “I could make you a really cool wooden hand. Probably cooler than Spanish Jackie’s, even.”

“I swear to God, babe,” Lucius hissed, “you’ve got to stop telling people we need to cut their limbs off.”

“Who’s got the rope burn?” That was Roach, pushing through the crowd with a bowl of water in hand and a roll of bandages tucked beneath his elbow. Ed’s face went all hot but Roach didn’t even say a fucking thing, didn’t even question that Ed deserved to be sitting there getting fussed over. “Yowch, that’s a good one. Might need to amputate.”

Ed barely had enough time to gawk open-mouthed at him, considering making a run for it, before Roach laughed playfully.

“You should’ve seen your face,” he chuckled as he held out a hand, waiting for Ed to offer his injured hand up for examination.

Ed gritted his teeth as Roach cleaned the burn with a wet cloth, accompanied by the crew hissing sympathetically.

“Why,” Ed started, before he got a little overwhelmed by everyone continuing to fuss over him like he was a sick kitten and went back to staring sheepishly at the ground.

“Because no one deserves to just sit around and be in pain when we could help,” Olu said, as if that made the most sense in the world. “Why wouldn’t we help? There’s no need for you to just go off and bleed alone somewhere.”

“I mean…” Ed watched as Roach wrapped his hand in a neat bandage. “That’s just life though, isn’t it?”

Archie grinned at him. “Not our life.”

“We’d do the same for any of us,” Frenchie told him reasonably. “Besides, we don’t want you to die, man. Who’d tell the best ghost stories then?”

“And who’d let us know when there’s a storm coming?” Olu added.

Fang smiled at him. “And who would help me fish?”

When Stede stepped out on deck to see what the commotion was about, it was to everyone still standing around Ed, reminding him how he should be sure not to get the dressing on his hand wet, or pick up anything too heavy with that hand, and to be careful to keep it clean. “What’s going on here?”

“Oh, hey, Cap,” Roach said. “Ed got a rope burn.”

Ed kind of lamely held out his injured hand, which still seemed comically disproportionate to the big deal everyone was making out of it. “It’s just a rope burn.”

“Ah.” Stede smiled at Ed’s befuddled expression. “And he’s getting the same treatment Jim got when they got a rope burn last week, I take it?”

Ed ran a finger over the bandages on his hand, only half-listening as they started in with embellishing the story (by the time they finished, Ed had apparently pushed through despite the burn for twenty full minutes, and if you looked, half the rigging was blood-stained). It actually felt a little nice to be fussed over, he thought. He could get used to it.

#ofmd #our flag means death #ofmd fic #my fics #long post #get loved nerd. get absolutely cherished loser

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darkficsyouneveraskedfor · 7 months

Text

Same as it ever was 12

Warnings: this fic will include dark content such as neglect, bullying, manipulation, cheating, and possible untagged elements. My warnings are not exhaustive, enter at your own risk.

This is a dark!fic and explicit. 18+ only. Your media consumption is your own responsibility. Warnings have been given. DO NOT PROCEED if these matters upset you.

Summary: Between your home life and work, you just can’t catch a break. Especially after you draw the ire of your boss.

Characters: Lloyd Hansen ft. Pete Brenner

Note: just having a bit of a break with some messiness.

As per usual, I humbly request your thoughts! Reblogs are always appreciated and welcomed, not only do I see them easier but it lets other people see my work. I will do my best to answer all I can. I’m trying to get better at keeping up so thanks everyone for staying with me.

Your feedback will help in this and future works (and WiPs, I haven’t forgotten those!)

I love you all immensely. Take care. 💖

“Mom, you have to sit down,” Simone nags as you pace, clutching your lower back as you chew your thumb.

You haven’t been able to sit still. Not since Hansen and Pete disappeared into his ‘office’, rather, the garage. You stop and look at your daughter as she holds her book closed on her lap. She hasn’t opened it all night. Her concern plummets in your stomach.

“Sorry, I–”

“I put your cushion on the couch,” she says and points to the sofa where she’s stacked the two pillows against the arm.

“Aw, you’re so sweet, honey,” you go to the couch and stare at the donut cushion. You brace the back and slowly angle yourself down. The tension eases enough for you to sigh.

“What about the medicine the doctor gave you?” She asks.

“After dinner,” you hiss as you try to get comfortable, “can’t have them on an empty stomach.

“Mommy,” Malik pops his head up from scribbling with his crayons, “I’ll go get Donny!”

“Mal–”

He’s already running from the room before you can stop him. You put your hand to your forehead and repress a sob. It’s not just the agony at the crux of your spine, it’s everything. It’s the stress pulsing in your head like a maelstrom. Hansen has wholly and completely invaded your life.

Maiik returns and shoves the stuffed dragon onto your lap. You thank him and kiss his forehead before you send him back to his drawing table. Simone sits with her jaw locked, staring at the wall as if she can see through it.

“Sim, what’s going on?” You ask.

“Why did you let him come in?” She hisses.

You sigh, “Simone, I tried–”

“He’s a weirdo. And he’s mean to you.”

You chew your lip, “he’s my boss.”

“So he should boss you around at work. He shouldn’t follow you home.”

“I know, okay, honey. He’s just… He’s interested in your dad’s work.��

“Sure,” she rolls her eyes. “Mom,” she takes a breath and waits for you to nod before she continues, “how did you fall?”

You hesitate and rub your neck. You’re so tired. Not just physically. You’re tired of lying and bending over backwards for everyone. You just want to close your eyes and stop thinking.

“I was taking a shower and I slipped,” you tell her the basic truth.

“Oh,” she gives a thoughtful grimace, “well…”

“It’s a good reminder to be careful,” you say. “I’ll be fine. I’ll get some x-rays done and you’ll see it’s nothing.”

Simone's face pinches as if she wants to argue more but thinks better of it. She opens her book as she leans back but keeps her gaze on the wall. She's a reflection of your own anxiety as she fidgets.

You try to relax as your tailbone radiates again and your back locks up. You just have to make it through the night. And the next and the next.

The doorbell rings and jars you just as your lashes droop. Simone jumps up, snapping her book shut. You frown and let out a whimper.

"Sim?" You murmur.

"I'll get it," she nods and throws her book on the cushion.

She sprints off to the entryway as Malik looks over curiously. You listen to the brief exchange, your daughter greeting the visitor and the crinkle of paper. As the savoury aroma wafts in, you realise it's just the food.

"Simone, you need help?" You call through a grunt as you try to sit up.

"Mom, don't move," she hollers back. "Mal, get over here."

Your son jumps up and races out to help her. You huff and recline once more. Even your stubbornness can't get you off that couch now.

You hear the garage door and peer over as Pete's laughter floats in the air. You sigh. Of course they get along. Why wouldn't they? The stars always align to fuck you over.

"I smell something delicious," your husband chimes as he appears in the archway, rubbing his stomach.

Your own grumbles as a pang of resent claws in your chest. You stare at his shirt and how it hangs slack over his hard stomach. He has time to work off his carbs, you just sit in an office and pile on the pounds.

"You'll love this place," Hansen calls from behind him as the kids carry the bags in from the door, Malik struggling under the weight of his armful.

"Pete," you snap and point to the wobbling six year old.

"Oh," his eyes round and he quickly lifts the heavy paper bag from his son, "sorry."

"Hey," Malik pipes up, "I'm strong enough."

"Mal, you don't wanna drop it," you gird and shift again, your tailbone throbbing. "Ah..."

"Honey, you okay?" Pete asks as he takes another bag from Simone, leaving her only one.

"Fine," you growl.

He gives a sheepish smile and beckons the kids into the kitchen, "come on, go sit at the table and give your mother a break."

"Save room for dessert," Hansen adds.

You roll your eyes as you hear Simone grumble something unintelligible. God, is she ever your daughter. You don't even try to get up. You don't like being helpless but if you don't relax, it will only get worse.

You listen to the noise from the kitchen. Pete rearing the children to the table as cupboards opening and closing and porcelain and cutlery clink together. Your skin crawls at the thought of Hansen going through your things.

You know what this is. He's intruding and making sure you know it. He doesn't just have an iron grip around your existence in the office, he's pawing at your home life like a greedy dog.

He enters and brings you a plate. You sit up with an effort and he smirks as he holds out the medley of sides and plank of steak. You accept it with a grumbled thanks.

"You take it easy, sweetheart," he pets your head as he bends over you, "we need you in tiptop shape so you can get back to work."

You grimace but don't say a word. He lets his fingertips tick along your cheek and you jerk away, squeaking with the jolt of pain across your back. You grit your teeth and grab the fork and knife.

"Eat up," he winks as he pulls away, strutting back into the kitchen.

You shake your head and look down at the plate. As much as you'd love to smash it in his face, you're starving and you need something to pad your stomach before you take those painkillers. You don't need to be nauseous on top of everything else.

You scoop up the whipped potatoes, the fleck of chive and garlicky smell makes your mouth water. They taste just as good as they smell. You can only imagine how much he spent on a meal for five. A debt you'll no doubt pay back.

"Honey," Pete enters, "can I get you a drink? Some wine?"

"Water," you say tersely.

"Yes, dear."

He goes back into the kitchen and you listen to him puttering around. He just annoys you by being there. Even his help is a nuisance. He comes back with a tall glass of water and sets it on the low coffee table before dragging it closer so you can reach. He leans over to peck your temple.

"Love you," he utters tremulously. You look at him. He winces and his cheeks dimple with a strained smile, "I'm trying," he croaks.

You say nothing and focus on cutting into the steak, your knife hitting the plate harshly. He stand and takes a step back.

"Your boss really likes my ideas. I think he's going to invest--"

"Would you go look after the kids?" You hiss, "please?"

"I..."

"Thank you for the water," you snip.

He backs away and apologises. It irritates you how he makes himself so pathetic. As if he's the victim in all this. He slept with that young intern, he dropped you in the shower, and you're paying the price for all of it. Say what you will about Hansen but you didn't jump into his arms. You're just trying to take care of your family. Something Pete's never even considered.

You chew angrily, sinking into the bitterness. This is just great. You're crippled and stuck here with two idiots. On top of that, your kids have to sit there with those creeps. Ugh. You will do better, you have to.

You eat in silence, hearing the chatter from the dining room. The kids don't say much as Pete and Hansen continue their conversation about stocks and rates and all that pompous bullshit. Your husband doesn't really seem to get it since his company makes absolutely no money, they very reason your boss can't wait to shove his hand down your pants at every fucking opportunity.

Where are those goddamn pills? As much as you need the damn pain to stop, you need to stop thinking. You're only making it all worse. Your purse is by the door. Too far.

You huff and keep eating. After. The food distracts enough from the agony.

You clear your plate and set it aside with effort. You wash down the remnants with a gulp of water and ease back onto the pillows. As you sigh, footsteps interrupt your peace.

"Ready for something sweet?" Hansen taunts.

Your eyes flutter open and you turn your head to him.

"I got some cheesecake," he takes your plate off the coffee table, staying bent as he lowers his voice, "but if you're thinking of something sweeter, we could figure something out."

You sneer and he snickers as he stands straight. He shamelessly adjusts himself through his pants, concealing his growing arousal under his belt. He clears his throat and walks away.

"Pete, the wife likes extra cream on hers," he declares as he enters the kitchen.

Your stomach flips. He is disgusting. You cross your arms and scowl at the window. Just dessert and then he can leave.

Hansen returns with a slice of chocolate cake, a healthy dollop of whipped cream on top. He offers the small plate and you accept it wordlessly. He watches as you cut through the tip with your fork.

"Get some of that cream," he hums and squeezes your shoulder.

"What the hell are you doing?" You snarl under your breath.

"Just wanna see you have a bite," he purrs, "you're so good at swallowing it all down--"

"Enough," you puff out, mortified as you peer over your shoulder.

"Chill," he raps his knuckles against your shoulder, "you need to take the edge off. Did the doctor give you the good dope?"

You sniff and turn your attention to the cheese cake. You hover the small portion on the fork and hesitate. You don't need the sugar. You look down at your stomach and rest the plate on your lap.

"Well? Did you take anything for your broken ass or not?" He scoffs.

"In my purse," you snip and scoop up the cheesecake, stuffing it in your mouth before you can call him a douche bag.

He looks around and wanders out to the entry way. He returns with your purse and fishes around in it. You glare at him as he does. He takes out the pill bottle and rattles it before he reads the label.

"Take two with food," he says, "how convenient, you're eating right now."

"And I got a big pain in my ass," you retort.

He laughs and uncaps the bottle, nearing as he offers you two pills. You take one for now and rest the plate in your lap. You reach for the glass of water and he wiggles his hand.

"Bottle says two," he insists.

"I'm fine. I got kids to take care of."

"Your husband's got a hold on all that, go on," he shoves his hand in front of your face, "really, you keep that stick up your ass and you're gonna stay like that."

You sniff and swipe the other tablet from his hand. You shove both in your mouth and drain half the glass. You smile at him and slam the cup down on the table.

"You're right," you snort, "it'll make putting up with you a whole lot easier."

"That's the spirit, sweetheart," he says, "think I'll just wait for my dessert..."

He turns and strides away. You mull over his ominous statement, not quite sure what he means. Knowing him, you should be worried but he's the least of your troubles at the moment.

🗄️

You feel lighter than you have in years. The medicated fog has you bleary and relaxed. You haven't felt this carefree in... ever? You sink into your own body, caught in a muted daze. You're vaguely aware of the room but unconcerned by the activity all around you.

"Kids," Pete says in exasperation, "jeez, must've had too much sugar."

"My bad," Hansen quips as sways his leg before him. The motion catches your eye and you peer over, hypnotised by the movement.

"It's his bath time," Simone says.

"Is it?" Pete pushes back his floppy hair and catches Malik as he runs in circles.

"Yep," Simone says dully. "He goes at seven, I go after him."

"Oh," your brainless husband utters.

"Think you're on duty, Petey Boy," Hansen muses, his hand kneading his own thigh, "old lady's in rough shape."

"Mom?" Simone approaches, hugging her book to her chest, "can you please tell him to go away?"

You just babble and smile, reaching out to touch her hair, "I love you, sweetie."

"Must be some strong... stuff the doc prescribed," Hansen scoffs.

"Why don't you go read in your room?" You pat her shoulder, "you always love reading."

She frowns and sways to look at the man in the armchair, watching with an amused grin. Hansen's a bit less sinister in the haze of your sedation. His mustache looks fuzzier than usual.

"I should stay--"

"Come on, Sim," Pete hikes Malik over his shoulder, "let's go. I might need help with your brother."

"Ugh," Simone huffs and drops her shoulders, "dad, can't you do it on your own?"

"You heard your mother, go to your room."

"I'll keep an eye on the old lady. Just in case she needs anything," Hansen intones, "I had an old injury in college. I took a few painkillers and thought I was new again. Ended up hurting myself all over again."

"Good idea," Pete agrees as Malik writhes in his grasp, "kids."

He snaps his fingers and your son still as your daughter tramps after him, sending one last glare towards Hansen. You turn your head straight and blow a raspberry. You're free, no pain, no worries, no feelings.

You listen to the racket of Pete's ascent and the bickering of the children. You giggle at the chaos. For once, it's not you.

You twitch as you feel a tickle along your arm. Hansen hushes you and winks as he lowers himself to one knee beside the couch. You hadn't noticed him move. You peer over at the chair and back to him. You sneer and reach to tug the short hair above his lip, wanting to rip it off. He wouldn't look so stupid without it.

"Hey, what--"

"Like a little caterpillar..." you slur.

"Alright, sweetheart," she pushes your hand away, "let's just... take it easy."

He puts his hand on your thigh and you look down at it. You furrow your brow as he squeezes before slowly dragging his palm up to your stomach. You grab him and try weakly to push him away.

"What are you doing?" You hiss.

"Shhhh," he presses his other index to his lips, "you don't want the family to hear, do you?" He angles around and turns his hand, sliding it beneath the elastic top of your pants, "mommy's having her me-time."

"Please..." you gasp as he shoves his hand down your panties. You clench your thighs together but he forces two fingers between your lips. You choke and swiftly hooks his other arm behind your hand, smothering your mouth with his palm.

"Now, now, you're going to scar those kids if they walk down here and see you zonked out and riding my fingers," he snarls, "so lay back and enjoy, sweet cheeks."

He rubs you and hot breath steams out from your nose, your murmurs muted by his grasp. You know he should stop, you should want him to stop, but you don't. Your eyes roll back as he rubs your clit, teasing you as he flicks and rolls. Your legs fall apart and your head lolls against his arm.

"That's it," he keeps his fingers moving, "you know, the whole mom thing is starting to get me." He keeps betting you, rubbing harder and faster with each swirl, "yeah, I feel you shaking for it too..."

You pant over his knuckles as he slips his hand further, curling his fingers inside of you as he pushes the heel of his hand to your bud. He jerks his arm, fucking you until you squelch around him. The noise alone adds to your slickness and tips you over the edge. You spasm in the tide of an orgasm as it cuts through the numbness.

"Mmmm," he purrs and slides his fingers free. He drags his hand out of your pants and shows you the gleam of your cum on his fingers. He smirks and shoves them into his mouth. He sucks them clean and stands, his pants bulging. "Delicious."

A thump comes from above and Pete hollers, "Malik, get back here."

There's a short chase down the hallway, bare slapping feet, and a grunt. You blink and shake your head. Hansen looms over you and snickers.

"Look at daddy doing all the work while mommy's having fun," he grabs your chin and bends over you, "I clocked that guy the minute I saw him, I can tell by the way you soaked your panties he's not fucking you worth a damn." He lets his hand fall to your throat and exhales hotly, "don't you worry. Once you're back on your feet, I'll have you on your back. Or maybe ass up.”

#lloyd hansen x reader #lloyd hansen #dark lloyd hansen #dark!lloyd hansen #pete brenner #dark pete brenner #dark!pete brenner #pete brenner x reader #fic #dark fic #dark!fic #series #au #multifandom #the gray man #pain hustlers #same as it ever was

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