#oh no it felt weird to verse tag that

[dutyworn]

                                           @parameddic    /    cont. from ↷

TK is  not fine,  but is there any point in arguing that? Wren hesitates. She’s not leaving him alone, not like this, but should she...? This is her fault.

She never would have chosen this. She’d rather be stuck not-home than get back at the cost of him being stuck not-home.

❝ You can  ⸺  you can speak with... ❞    All of her human crew speak English, and Doctor Chakwas could fit TK with a translator implant at the med-bay, easy, but that’s probably not a good idea to suggest right this minute; technology like that doesn’t exist for him, it’ll probably seem insanely invasive; maybe he’s better off being suggested an external, wearable device, for now...

❝ TK, you’re my family, too, ❞    Wren says, with the same gentle tone, though she keeps her distance.

They’re up at her private cabin, although nothing in the room suggests it used to be her space; it’s her crew, on board, now, but the Normandy’s probably been under someone else’s command at some point  ⸺  most of the plants she’d picked for the fishtank (instead of fish) are still there, but her model ship collection is not on display and she can see none of her personal belongings anywhere.

❝ I’m not going anywhere, ❞    she states. Carefully, she sits on one of the chairs, across from the edge of her bed TK’s sitting on.    ❝ TK,  I need you to understand  ⸺  I’m not going to rest until I find a way to get you back home. I don’t care how many people tell me it’s impossible.  I’ll find a way. ❞    She wants to tell him she didn’t want this. Needs him to know she wouldn’t have done this to him on purpose. But this isn’t about what she needs. She’s been in his shoes, she understands what he’s going through, at least to some extent. She... she was always trained to handle impossible situations, and she was trained to sacrifice herself. She also didn’t find herself in the future, in fucking space-flight, in some situation not even plausible for where she came from.

“Shepard,” Joker calls, almost hesitantly, through the cabin’s comms, “not to rush you, but Garrus is seriously going to tear me a new one, over here.”

❝ Tell him he can wait, ❞    Wren snaps.

“Uh, have you met⸺”

❝ He can wait, Joker. Make sure EDI knows access to my quarters is off limits, as well. ❞

Pause.

❝ Just... I’ll be there, later. Please, ❞    she adds, apologetically.

“You got it, Commander.”

She’s developing a headache. She wants to properly reunite with her people, but TK needs her, and TK is her responsibility, and it’s her fault he’s here, and she can’t just leave him alone, no matter how much he wants her to.

[star-suh]

The Masseurs

Kim Jiwoong & Seok Matthew x Male Reader

cw: top jiwoong, verse matthew, bottom reader, bareback, matthew has a milk factory down there so a cumfest ig, lots of body oil, double penetration, fingering, rimjob, blowjob, spank, degradation, nipple play, cum swallowing.

an: this happens in the same universe as sloppy problem.

—

the happy ending spa, this place has gained a name of its own. full of hot workers and the most exquisite massages are given there with of course the respective happy ending, if you want one.

yn came to this place because one of his friends gave him a birthday voucher to use here. he was excited for the things he’s heard about the service but he was nervous too, anxiety creeping all over his body, millions of possible scenarios crossing his mind and none of them was looking good for him.

yn was an overthinker guy, he was thinking on every little detail to avoid embarrassments or problems during his stay at the spa.

“welcome, how can i help you” a tall guy with black hair and pretty eyes welcomed him, “oh hey umm.. i came here because a friend of mine gave me a voucher. here” he handed the paper to the receptionist, his tag spelling the name ricky.

“soooo, tell me which plan you are choosing?”, yn scanned the plastic displaying the massages names and the costs of each one. then something caught his attention *happiness²* ‘such a weird name’ he thought but it made him curious so he choose it. “ooh i see” ricky laughs quietly “good choice”.

ricky showed yn the way to where his room is so he can change while waiting for the masseur. he discarded all his clothes and wrapped a towel around his waist. he leaned on the bed, it was comfortable almost as if he was on top of a cloud, he started to feel sleepy. suddenly the door swung open, yn jolted due to the surprise. two males where there, “hello, good afternoon mister, my name is jiwoong” the taller greeted first followed by the smaller guy “mine’s matthew” a big cute smile adorning his face.

the realization hit yn at that moment, happiness² meant that he was gonna be attended by two masseurs.

“umm.. sorry i- i didn't know there was going to be two masseurs” his cheeks getting flushed, his body tensed. all that overthinking he did before didn't work, he was here embarrassed. “hey hey hey calm down” jiwoong went quickly to his side, then positioned himself behind yn and started massaging his shoulders, “this is a place of relaxation. let me and my partner guide you on this pleasurable journey” matthew then started to pour scented oil all over yn’s body.

jiwoong worked on the upper torso, back and arms while matthew on the lower torso, ass and legs. the smell of the oil sending yn's mind into a realm of relaxation, his body melting on the massage bed. being very mischievous matthew started gripping yn's ass a lot. yn didn't find it weird he thought it was part of the process.

but all of a sudden he felt something poking his asshole, matthew's fingers were going up and down in between his cheeks “stay still, i need to cover all up in oil”.

yn's face was bright red but thankfully he was lying with his face against the mattress, something he took advantage of to hide his moans. playful stares were exchange between jiwoong and matthew, they were enjoying hiw hard yn is trying to act cool, as if nothing is happening. jiwoong mouths a little ‘cute’ that made matthew emitt a quite laugh.

matthew's hands were doing wonders down there. they never left yn's hole alone to the point that the masseur was practically fingering yn while he bit his lip to muffle his moans.

“we're done on this side sir please lat on your back” jiwoong muttered. yn thought twice before turning around, the reason?, he was hard, matthew's fingers reached his prostate stimulatingcover it. ‘it's covered by the towel so maybe they won't notice’ he thought and turned around. but of course they both noticed but decided to play along yn's shyness.

the massage went normal until mischievous matthew strikes again, while he pretended to massage yn's lower torso he was discarding the towel little by little. “i didn't know my hands were that good” he said, catching yn off guard who opened his eyes and saw what was happening, matthew contemplating his rock hard dick. “holy shit” yn tried quickly to cover himself but jiwoong stopped him, “you paid for this remember?” a smile plastered on his gorgeus face. “but- but” yn tried to refute but something shut him up.

jiwoong unzipped his pants and his fat dick fell right on top of yn's eyes “why don't you put that sexy mouth to a better use?” he guided his dick towards yn's mouth. his tip already in, poking against the inside of yn's left cheek, he thrusted slowly at first but his speeding it up by the time.

matthew on the other side was happy slurping on yn's dick, spitting on it, doing a sloppy handjob and deepthroating him. “so good” he said slapping the shaft against his flushed face.

jiwoong straddle yn so he can thrust way faster on him, forcing yn to deepthroat his fat dick, “such a tight throat”.

minutes later jiwoong flooded yn's throat with his cum while yn painted matthew's face and hair with ropes of sperm. yn heaved, trying to catch his breath while wiping out the leftover cum on his mouth. after some deep breaths he was getting ready to leave but matthew stop him, “we're not done yet”.

“what do you mean?” yn said concerned, “the voucher says that you would spend two hours here and we're just 40 minutes in” jiwoong added, “you could go now but if you want to stay…” matthew walked closer towards him “we're gonna make this day unforgettable” he whispered that last part.

yn was conflicted, he was too shy to stay here naked in front of two hot guys but on the other side he was enjoying it. ‘what to do’ he thought, “i guess i'm allowed to have fun this day” he said in an almost whispered tone.

yn sat on the bed but with his legs bend to the sides so his ass could be wide open for the masseurs to see. jiwoong brought a bottle of pil and poured it all on yn, the liquid going down his arched back towards his hole and finally dripping from there. matthew slapped him and rubbed his fingers rapidly on the already puckered hole, “so pretty” matthew blurted out and went straight to suck it, his tongue dancing around the tight ring of muscles while jiwoong smeared the rest of the oil on yn's body.

then both took turns to play with yn's hole, each tongue smearing the saliva left by the previous one. “what the f- ahh… hngh…” yn's a whimpering mess, humping on the bed looking for some friction to relieve his aching dick.

as if it was some type of hard candy they kept sucking on that ass. “just put it in already” yn begged, his hole feeling empty when both stopped the rimjob. “as you wish” jiwoong kissed the back of his neck while introducing his shaft “matthew come here. fuckkk” he cursed “look hiw he's swallowing it with ease.. such a skilled whore”, “yeahhh” matthew cheered with a slap on yn's oily ass.

jiwoong’s big frame overpowered yn's, he easily manhandle him and fuck him mercilessly. yn's words slurred due to how fast and hard jiwoong railed him, “acting all shy and for what, look how you're taking it like a fucking skilled manwhore”

matthew giggled, amused of how jiwoong managed to made yn his little bitch, “hey i wanna have some fun too” he bend over the bed showing his hole towards the others, jiwoong realizing what matthew wants he guide yn towards matthew, grabbed his dick and put it inside matthew. “fuck yeahhh” matthew whimpered, happy of finally have something filling his hole. “yess yn keep plowing my insides” he pouted, happiness all over his face.

“you're such a bitch too matthew” jiwoong joked, thrusting even harder so yn can reach deep inside matthew. they run on a train for the next minutes, yn’s oily body in between two hot guys, smearing said liquid on their sweaty bodies. matthew turn, locking his legs on yn's waist then kiss him while jiwoong pinched his nipples hard and played with his chest.

“i'm gonna cum” matthew moaned shooting his semen almost unannounced, it landed on his abds, chest, face and yn's torso and face. he came a lot, it was still spurting and it even pooled on the base of his shaft. matthew scooped it, suck on his fingers and kiss yn, spitting all of it down his throat.

matthew pulled out yn's dick and laid on bed, “come on, hop on this” he says slapping his still hard dick on the palm of his hand “i need to fill you up too”. yn obeyed, climbed the bed and straddled matthew. sinking on his shaft slowly, until it was all inside. “don't forget about me” jiwoong bite on yn's ear introducing his shaft again.

“wai-wait you're gonna rip me apart” he pleaded but jiwoong didn't care, all he wanted was to empty his balls inside him. “just breathe for fuck's sake” he cursed “it’s gonna feel good soon”.

both meats drilled their way inside the bottom's walls, when one enters the other left and each time they reache deeper and deeper. ‘why do they feel even bigger than before’ yn thought while focusing on breathing…

“i want more please” completely surrendered to the pleasure yn just gave in and let the masseurs use him as a toy. his used hole taking both dicks easily. “it seems that you're hole already knows the shape of our cocks” jiwoong joked, hugging yn's waist tightly, the hair sticked to his forehead due to the sweat made him look hotter and this didn't went unnoticed by matthew who quickly stand up and made jiwoong kiss him.

yn’s face was resting on matthew’s shoulder, drool dripping of his lips and rolling down matthew’s body.

“fuck i can't hold it anymore” matthew groaned, his cock throbbing inside yn and against jiwoong's meat. the sensation was amazing. each throb of matthew's cock means a pump of cum being emptied on yn. and, as already stated before, he cums a lot, again. it drips out of yn's hole and down his balls too. “don't pull out yet” jiwoong demanded, cumming after a few thrusts.

the older pulls out first, his cock completely soaked in thick white sperm. then it was matthew's turn and it was the same, his cock soaked in sperm too. then they watched yn's pulsating gaping hole leaking. “so hot” matthew murmured and fingered the aching hole drawing more moans out of yn’s lips. he then licked his fingers and introduced them on jiwoong’s mouth. the latter then did a last rimjob trying to collect as much cum as possible to spit it on yn's mouth “swallow it all, whore” he cuped the bottom's cheeksfor and he did as he was told. “good job” and as a reward jiwoong kissed him sloppily, his tongue exploring yn's mouth…

“have a great day and we hope you come back for more” ricky waved a goodbye and smiled making yn wonder if he has any idea of what's going on in that spa. yn went to take a taxi walking slowly and a bit limp, guess he won't be walking good in the next few days.

[moonsplit]

Can I pretty please get some Poly Cove, Baxter, and Derek x reader 🥺

I am desperate and just want to know how they'd be like all together in a closed relationship- how they treat each other, MC, how they act with the other's families, etc. etc.

PS. You don't have to do this request but It's so hard to find poly prompts for them 😭

PPS. Can I be 💫 Anon?

↠ Cove x Baxter x Derek x gn!Reader HCs ↞

* word count ↠ 2743 * tags ↠ gender neutral reader, fluff, a little angst but it's okay, closed relationship polyamory, meeting the family, a very implied slow burn, bax is a little bit of an idiot, the opposite of proof read

* notes ↠ YES THANK YOU ANON 🙏 I'm polyamorous myself, and the lack of content makes me so sad sometimes. Glad to know there's a market aside from me and @starance

You and Cove were the first two together

After the awkwardness of your first kiss, and the dancing around it, and figuring out the terms and oh god do you tell your families???

And believe me it was awkward for a while

Not a bad kind, just the growing pains of a new relationship- of a first relationship

And then there was Derek.

Who has absolutely had a crush on you and Cove for like- ever? Is that a time frame? He didn't really know, but it felt right.

He didn't realize he was allowed to feel that for both of you for a while.

He thought he had to choose and it broke him a little, because he adored being around the both of you too much to ever choose

He was always supportive of you and Cove after you two told him you were dating

But you couldn't help from notice a little longing in his eyes when you and Cove were couple-y

Or how he withdrew just that slight bit if you got a little too close to romantic touches instead of platonic cuddles

It went from unnoticeable to unbearably obvious as time went on and years passed

You and Cove stressed about it together

For you, you had always stressed about what being in a relationship with Cove would mean for your trio

You'd heard horror stories from books and school acquaintances about loosing friends after getting into a relationship

And Cove

Was less worried about if your relationship had anything to do with it, and more worried about losing part of his home

The trio, your family, they'd become integral to his perception of home

It never felt quite right when you all weren't right by him

So, naturally, you both team up to confront him!

And it went-

Well, about as well as you'd expect? Derek was usually the one to carry the blunt of emotional intelligence, and even then all three of you were dense as hell

None of you are really sure how it slipped, just that it did. Maybe Derek was the one to tell you two, apologizing because "that's probably weird, isn't it?"

You were all versed in the queer community, but had never delved into what polyamory really was

Or maybe it slipped from you, a hesitant ramble spiraling into comparing the way you felt for Derek a little to closely to the way you do Cove

Maybe even it was Cove, thinking maybe Derek pulled away for his comfort- maybe he noticed Cove's awkwardness and red face and pulled away so as to not upset him

Maybe he explained, flustered, stumbling over his words, that he only reacted that way to Derek because he liked him in that same romantic way

But no matter how it happened

It absolutely did happen

Before any of you could regret it, or really even think on the realization that it was all mutual, Cove blurted out

"Do you wanna go out with us?"

Before either of you could respond, he stumbled out words asking if it was okay with you and that Derek didn't have to, you could just stay friends, I didn't mean to impl-

You cut him off, agreeing with the sentiment

And finally

There's the Derek Suarez smile.

You and Cove nearly got knocked to the ground with the force of the hug, vague words of agreement from him mixed with the three of you laughing

You were all still nervous, you didn't know how to go forward with it all-

And you went to your moms for help, because surely they'd know how this all worked, right?

But it all settled, and you three were still you, just, you know- Liz got to tease you that extra bit more

And it stayed like that, until you were all 18 and you hit a little bump in the smoothness

Because someone you saw that same summer you kissed Cove was back

When you first saw Baxter way back then, you just thought he was pretty and nice to talk to, to dance with

Really, you thought the two of you could be friends

But, as many people visiting Sunset Bird do, he disappeared

A little disappointing, but you only knew him for a day.

And then he showed up, the new guy on the street

You didn't quite remember his face until he talked about the soiree

And well, over the summer, perhaps you fall a little in love with him

It's not your fault! He's very charming, and he's sweet

It's not the same intensity and familiarity that your relationship with Cove and Derek brings, but it's fun and you could see him being a long-term partner

And then, of course, he leaves for another five years.

"Did I do something wrong?" The words spilt from your lips, laying against Cove's chest as he rubbed circles into your sides.

Derek was laying with his head in your lap, letting you run your fingers through- and thoroughly mess up- his hair.

"I don't think so," he chimed.

Cove shook his head, almost trying to convince himself too. "It was his decision to leave, did he seem mad?"

"Well, no, but-" you sighed, anxiety biting away at you as you bit your lip, peeling the skin.

"Mhm! So, it wasn't your fault, or Cove's, or mine. He just wanted to leave. Which personally I think is dumb, who wouldn't want to stay around you two for as long as possible?"

You snorted, letting yourself relax back into Cove for the time being.

So anyways

You see him again another five years later.

Helping your friends plan their wedding on a short notice- perhaps a little too short notice- your own planning stage looming nearby in the distance

Seeing him again..

Well, naturally you tell Cove and Derek

Because what else are you meant to do?

You, unfortunately, drew the short straw to be the one to confront him

"Baxter, hang on- talk to me like a real person, for once." You latched on to his wrist, unwilling to let the moment slip through your fingers. "I get it, you don't want to talk to me. But at least- tell me why you left."

He sighed, not making any move to make you let go. "I do regret leaving Sunset Bird with nary a call to you three, you are still together, no?"

You rolled your eyes. "Yeah and we're getting married, but that's not the point. Bax, I just want you to care enough to tell me why."

"You're..." his steadily widening eyes trailed down to your hand, and sure enough, an engagement ring was sitting comfortably on your ring finger.

He tried tugging his wrist out of your hand.

You held on tighter. "You're gonna tell me what happened so I don't feel like shit about it for the rest of my life, okay?! So I don't have to ask for reassurance that it wasn't my fault every time I remember how you left town. I think I deserve that."

You weren't normally a demanding person, he had to know that. He had to see the way that this all ate at your for the past five years.

You watched his resolve crumble, and it was- weird, seeing him drop the professionalism for even a moment. Weird, but welcome.

"Can we go somewhere private, at least? Perhaps the beach?"

You thought back to the symbol of your life, the beach and the poppy-covered hill behind your house. The same beach and hill you managed to drag him out to stargaze from countless times that summer. The sun was hanging low in the sky.

"I'll drive, you sort out whatever you're about to say." You shrugged, taking the drivers side of his way-too-expensive (in your humble opinion) car.

"Alright," he moved around, sitting in the passenger side. Maybe it was the time you spent with him that long time ago, making you notice the unnoticeable. But he seemed- deflated, a little sad.

It was a quiet night

You could see a bit of disappointment in Baxter's eyes when he looked up to see a cloudy sky, you couldn't help but feel it too

You thought you'd have to push more, but he let out a long sigh

And stared at his hands, almost willing them not to shake

And he started to explain

He was the type to run away, it was ingrained in him

When he realized he was falling for three people all the way back then, he didn't know what to do

The fact that you three were so close knit didn't help

He left because he was scared

What would his family think?

Would he be enough?

Would it end in heartbreak he was trying so hard to avoid? (but, of course, it already ended like that)

Some of his worries were unsaid, he brushed them away with a "I had a lot on my mind, in terms of anxiety"

Truthfully, he thought you would have forgotten about him by now

He realized how much it could have hurt a little while ago, but he thought it would have been so much more likely that he was forgotten- just a blimp in the endless summers you three seemed to spend together

"I would have reached out, if I had known it still haunted you."

His hands were shaking

He clasped them together in an attempt to hide it

They were still shaking, twitching slightly in their hold

He had a crush on you three?

That's why he left and never came back?

You didn't know whether to laugh or scream at the poor man

He wasn't expecting a positive response, of course

But your laugh and yell of "you're a fucking idiot!" felt a little-

unexpected.

"I liked you too, I think those two could have too if you didn't absolutely ditch us."

You leaned on his shoulder, and he made no move to pull away

The scene familiar to an old one, but different

You told him to meet the three of you at a cafe in town

One you used to hang out in all the time

It wasn't a question, but if it was he would have agreed

And the four of you talked

Things were awkward at first, Cove particularly a bit standoffish with him

But you all talked it through

And maybe laughed about how stupid Baxter specifically was back then

He deserved that, he thought

Then a question came up, one he wasn't expecting

Really, the cafe in of itself would have been closure enough for him

But Cove asked if he wanted to go on a date

And Baxter had to shove every instinct and nerve in his body telling him to run away

Because he should be allowed to be happy like this, shouldn't he?

He really didn't know

But he shouldn't look a gift horse in the mouth

NOW ONTO THE BIT YOU ACTUALLY ASKED FOR

He helps plan you, Cove, and Derek's wedding of course

He's far more flirty with you and Derek than Cove, respecting the discomfort Cove has had with the flirting in the past

But when Cove doesn't respond negatively to flirting?

You, Baxter, and Derek gang up on him and make him a literal tomato with how red in the face he goes

Derek showering compliments and peppering kisses while Bax makes his trademarked flirty comments, kisses lingering a bit longer

No matter what you do to add to this man's suffering, it certainly will

Speaking of Cove, he's the last to get comfortable with touch

From you it's been fine since you were kids, and he got used to Derek's touch quickly because of how openly affectionate he could be

But Baxter's normal touch, even just holding hands, was both more subtle and somehow more intimate feeling

So Cove struggled to adapt

Which was fine, of course, he could take all the time he needed

Baxter would always ask if he was allowed to touch him, whether the ask be verbal or not

Even long after Cove started saying yes (near) every time

Same goes for you, if you struggle with touch

They're all very respectful and will ask you first, respecting whatever boundary you set

Baxter being introduced into any of your family lives

Is certainly a sight

He's so out of place it's kind of funny

His family's more uptight and formal

So going to meet Derek's family and seeing the siblings bustle about and bicker, not quite caring about looking strange

Or seeing how much like a friend Cliff tries to be to Cove

or even the soft care your moms gave to you, and the teasing you took from Liz

Happy, loving, slightly chaotic families was not what Baxter was used to and it shows

He was hesitant to bring you three to meet his own family because of it

He wasn't even in very good contact with them himself

None of you pushed him on the matter

They weren't a big part of his life anymore, and honestly from some of the stories he's told?

You'd rather die than have to pretend to be that stuffy and pretentious

Derek and Cove cannot go five minutes without cuddling or holding hands

They're very touchy and affectionate with each other and it's not uncommon for you or Bax to come home or walk into the living room, and they're just tangled up together watching a movie and snacking

Cove and Bax love hearing you and Derek ramble

Whatever interests you at the moment, they'll listen to your voices for hours on end even of they have absolutely no chance of understanding it

If one of you seems really into something and it's sticking, they'll even do light research on their own

So they can be better conversation partners

And so that they can hear you talk more

It melts your heart when they do that for one of you

Or for each other

When the four of you are all cuddling together, Bax likes being the center of it the most

Nine times out of ten if you ask where he wants to be it's pressed against the three of you

Cove likes being on the outer edge, usually

He can get claustrophobic when he's surrounded on all sides, so he's probably on the side of the bed away from the wall too

Occasionally he's having a particularly clingy day and wants to be held by all of you, so long as one side of him (even just his back or front) is free

Derek's happy so long as he's holding a minimum of one person at all times

You can figure out where you'd place yourself in these cuddle piles <3

I can see Liz and Bax being a bit tense at first and you kinda think they hate each other

But when you ask one of them it's revealed that no they actually adore the banter between the two

Baxter and Derek have such potential between the two of them

The suave and semi-formal man and our beloved golden retriever

Derek would "con" the three of you into playing games together

One time it was a sport

That was the day

A.) You got to see Bax all sweaty, and that did things to you

B.) Bax almost passed out

He's not built for running or working out I'm sorry dude

Derek's generally very affectionate

Even just casually with an arm around you, he's always being touchy

Usually in the most innocent way

Usually

Cove likes less obvious PDA

Hand holding or brushing shoulders or even hugging

He doesn't like initiating kisses when you're out

Because he already spontaneously combusts when you do it

He can't fight down his flusterment when he knows other people could see him get embarrassed

Speaking of

He gets embarrassed easily

My man can give a kiss to a cheek and then will hide his blushing face in their chest

He gets a little better about it as time goes on

But he's still very shy

It's adorable <3

Baxter likes to hold you close to him, arm around your waist style

Almost like he's showing you off

Like any of the three of you

When you're out and about it's like he's showing you guys off to the world like

He's happy to call the three of you his <3

[sxnniiwrites]

So, you want to write fanfics.

Here are my top fanfic writing tips!

You don't have to waste time on physical descriptions of characters, since your target audience already knows them, UNLESS: - their appearance is different in your fic in some way (timeskip, different verse, etc) - OR it's genuinely significant, like character A being struck by character B's beauty at first sight and having to swoon over their gorgeous features. Other than this, if it's not plot significant nor important to the readers' perception of the story, then don't worry about it if you aren't confident with physical descriptions!

Pay attention to character voice. What's that, you ask? Well, everyone's inner thoughts sound different, right? It matches your own personality and speech patterns. This is the same with characters. This is much easier if the franchise you're writing for is a book series, of course; you already have somewhere to go to reference the style this character's thoughts are written in. With shows and movies, it's a bit harder to find each character's voice, but important nonetheless. If you don't have distinct voices for each character's POV, the writing and characterization can fall flat. A good way to find character voice is to write a few diary entries for each character (even if your story isn't going to be in first person POV, do it for this exercise). This will help establish individual voices, and then your characters will really start feeling like their canon selves.

Cater to your audience. This is the nature of fanfic. But seriously, don't be afraid of cliches! If your fandom loves hurt/comfort for a certain pairing, write that in! If your fandom is obsessed with tooth rotting wholesome fluff for a pairing, try that too! You don't have to, of course, but this can help keep your target audience interested and attract more readers through tags.

USE BETA READERS. Oh my gosh I used to not use betas and would just "edit" my fics all on my own, which of course meant scanning it briefly for bad typos because my brain was so fried from writing it that I didn't want to thoroughly read the whole thing and look for in-depth edits. I know it's scary to have someone else pick through your work but trust me, they LOVE what you wrote, regardless of how many edit suggestions they leave. They'll also help you see things from a reader's perspective that you may not have caught before. Remember, critique is just opportunity for improvement.

Please don't stop because you're embarrassed. Trust me, I've been there. For a while I didn't write fic because I felt "cringey" and was scared of my irls finding my fandom works. But honestly? Screw that. Write for yourself. Write because you love it. Cringe culture is dead, so write the stories you want to tell, and to hell with anyone who thinks it's weird. Besides, there are probably more fandom "weirdos" around you than you think.

Don't be afraid of creation. Happy writing!

[bedlamsbard]

Greetings from a Fan, I felt compelled to send this message after reading your posts regarding Queen's Gambit. My intent is not to upset or harm you, but I sincerely apologize if I do so nonetheless. I just wanted to say how much I absolutely *adore* the Ouroboros series. It's one of my favorites of all time across all the fandoms I'm interested in. It's also the reason I fell head over heels in love with the Obi-Wan/Anakin/Padme pairing. You've written the characters so incredibly well and I just cannot get over your amazing worldbuilding. I am an absolute sucker for the way you wrote Padme and the rich culture/history you created for Naboo. Those little details just added so much breath and flavor to your stories that to this day I remain speechless as to what you've created. With regards to Obi-Wan, oh my dear lord, what a heartbreaking masterpiece you created. The sheer level of love and anguish you brought forth after he lost Anakin was just devasting. He's such an incredibly complex character and you did a smashingly exceptional job with him. You really did him and his relationship with Anakin justice and I truly thank you for that. And Anakin, what can I say, there are so many layers to Anakin that there's never an easy way of writing him. But through his relationships with Obi-Wan and Padme, we can peel back those layers and you really took the time and care to do that. The entire series was an incredible concept in it's totality, and I love weird alternative universe/time-travel/fix-it fics. I will eternally lament that the series will never be finished because I would have loved to have read what happens in the next entry of the series which is where Obi-Wan fell to the Dark side (unless I'm mistaken). Nonetheless, I like to think that in the end they have their happy ending with one another (wherever it may have led them) and I thank you for sharing and posting this series with us. I know it meant a great deal to me and I would like you to know how I much I do sincerely mean that. Thank you. ❤️

Aww, thank you, I'm flattered to hear that! I know that Wake and Gambit (as well as the ancillaries Tales and Sound) are very loved stories for a lot of people, even when I get grief for them, which has been going on for more than a decade now. I'm always very glad to hear that readers do enjoy those stories.

The third Ouroboros story, which takes place in the universe that Padme arrives in during the last scene of Gambit, was supposed to be called All Along the Watchtower. There are bits and pieces of it in the all along the watchtower tag dating back about a decade now. It is a universe where Obi-Wan fell to the dark side and a bunch of other stuff happened as a result -- the three universes in Ouroboros are all meant to be the worst fears of the main three characters, thus canon (Wake) being Anakin's (he goes dark side and kills everyone he loves), Gambit being Padme's (she becomes a warmongering demagogue who causes a Jedi to betray himself for her), and Watchtower being Obi-Wan's (he goes dark side and is responsible for the downfall of the Republic and the Jedi Order). This is the most recent summary of what I remember that I was thinking; it went through a lot of development over the course of ten years, and as late as 2021 I was still trying to back into it via Rebels: the alternate universe where Ezra had been during The Starry Crown is the Watchtower 'verse, during the point in time where the Wake trio was there -- a.k.a. the Rebellion era, so they're also time traveling again. The Wake trio had all ended up in different locations in the Watchtower 'verse: we see Padme where she ended up at the end of Gambit, Anakin was on Coruscant, Obi-Wan was on Tatooine, and they're all dragged into the political events of that universe, which are very different from Wake, canon, or Gambit.

The intention was always for the Wake trio to end up back in their own universe, probably picking up Rex along the way; the base Wake universe is obviously suffering from Code Name Retribution, but the situation is not as bad as it could have been.

[tabl3]

answering some asks in one post for the sake of laziness

Q: If there was a 6th EF member to your rewrite who would it be

A: dooley! I love his relationships with bree and chase, as well as him and kaz being besties. i think he would add enough sunshine to the team too, because the more sunshine-y characters already on the team are somewhat edgy. he absolutely would be traumatized by sharing a home with people who kiss his big siblings on the mouth though lol

Q: AO3 tag?

A: tabs_alt

Q: If the team was in college like Adam, what would their majors be?

A: chase: buisness, bree: art/design, kaz/oliver: some major for pre-med (kaz would make oliver do his homework lmao), skylar: i don't see her as a college type, but probably criminal justice

Q: Logan would like to bake

A: absolutely. that's something that could bond him and adam so he isn't afraid of being nuked by him. also,,, he just gives malewife vibes

Q: when was techertz a thing?

A: so i hinted to it in an earlier book. they were off and on for a few months before ef began and a few months into the team. long story for them lol

Q: are Tasha and Douglas a thing

A: nope. just disaster co-parents trying their best

Q: What do you think of Douglas x Horace and do you think we're gonna get some in the tabl3-verse?

A: i love the ship outside of my universe and totally get the appeal :D however brylar is more important to my rewrite and it's too weird because horace adopted skylar and douglas is bree's biological dad

Q: what are the cats names

A: Posh Spice & Georgiano

Q: So how does the family see each other in your rwite? Is Daniel their brother?

A: yes and no. it's complicated lol. daniel is biologically their brother, but they view him as a cousin and he does the same. it's like that with marcus too (if marcus wasn't evil) daniel calls tasha aunt and douglas dad, while the rats call tasha mom and douglas douglas lmao

essentially when building their family tree they go less by genetics and more by emotional connection, which is why leo is referred to as their brother and daniel isn't (which he's fine with) they used to view donald as their dad and douglas as their uncle, but the line blurred after aijaf so douglas has a weird mix of the roles now (he felt more paternal than uncle affection for them, naomi and leo included, way before but didn't want to step on the kids' toes)

Q: were Kaz nd Skylar pranking Logan

A: oh yes. they embellished adam's overprotectiveness very intentionally for their entertainment (I assume you're asking about the scene where they talk about adam threatening them)

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

Find the word

Thanks @honeybewrites here, @paeliae-occasionally here, and @the-golden-comet here!

My words: reverse, patience, lock, listen, open, discover, leave, stay, given, yourself, finite, glory

Your words: not, new, neutral, narrow

Tagging @mx-ryder @pluppsauthor @emabatis @pluto-murphy-writes @pluttskutt

+ ANYONE ELSE

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy @honeybewrites @the-golden-comet

Keep reading for:

Only George cares

Meet Hye-Jin

Liam hates American cheese

Carla doesn't make sense to Maddie

Ash uses her psychic power

Lexi meets Akash

Rose is excited

Akash messes with his hair

Noelle's mom

Wait, what is standing?

Multiverse talk!

Reverse - from The Secret Portal Part Two (George POV)

Right now, I was on one of the larger couches in the Sublevel Three breakroom. The holoscreen was broken, and I was the only one who wanted to fix it. Everyone else was working on someone else and didn’t think the video games I wanted to play were important enough. It wasn't the only thing I cared about that the fully-growns didn’t. Carla, for one. She had been frozen in time ever since—that was it. Frozen. She could be fixed, I knew. Dad had been working on a way to reverse the effects of a chronokinetic’s power. I told them that. But they instead wanted to work on large-skill replication of chronokinesis. Dad managed to do so, but now it was ultra-important since the Refuga had it on a large scale.

Lock(ed) - from The Secret Portal Part One (Ash POV)

Patience - from The Secret Portal Part Two (Hye-Jin POV)

I said goodbye to my mother and hopped out of the car. I ran toward my friend Lexi’s house and knocked on the door. Then I stood waiting patiently for an answer. Lexi and I had known each other for years, given that our fathers had as well. I looked down at Lexi’s present in my hands. Hopefully she’d like it.

“You lost your rights to call anything American cheese after your processed product that has the same texture as the plastic-wrap single it comes in that you have the gall to call cheese!” “Hey!” I protested. “The only people whose favorite cheese is American cheese are people who have never tried other cheeses.” Liam’s fiery gaze locked onto mine, ready to fight. I peeked into his mind out of curiosity to find the section on Muenster cheese. The creamy gooiness he’d described entered my mouth. Holy shit that was good.

Listen - from The Secret Portal Part One (Maddie POV)

“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?” I asked Carla sitting in front of me. Carla folded her hands on the table. “Maddie, I am well-versed in how all the Alii powers work. So, yes.” I sighed, resting my chin on my hands I had propped on the table by my elbows. Liam had an after-school debate thing to go to, so until he got here, Carla had volunteered to walk me through the basics of shapeshifting, at least what she knew about it from her books. Personally, I thought doing it would be more informative, but Carla disagreed. We now sat at one of the tables shoved into the corner of the training room. While everyone else got to do things, I was now forced to sit and listen to this weird talking thing I didn’t understand. I was itching to practice morphing.

Open - from The Secret Portal Part One (Ash POV)

I tried expanding my mind to find anything that could help with the situation. I felt my consciousness stretch out over the entire building, a large, elaborate mansion, as I could now tell. I heard that screaming girl again, but pushed her aside. I’d already figured she was most likely a memory. A sudden pull caused my eyes to fly open. I jumped to my feet, spinning to run in the opposite direction.

Discover - from The Secret Portal Part One (Lexi POV)

Eventually, we entered a clearing where a handful of people were scattered around. “Robbie!” A boy about his age waved him over. “Where were—” he noticed Kelsey. “Oh, you found her.” “Take her to Wade,” said Robbie, passing Kelsey to the other boy, who led her further into the clearing. It wasn't until then I realized the strange smoothness of the kid’s movements and glanced down to discover he was flying.

Leave - from The Secret Portal Part One

“I think it’ll be interesting,” said Rose. “We’re fighting against a corrupt government. That sounds like fun.” “Since when do you do things because they’re fun?” Noelle asked. “Well, I dunno about the rest of you,” said Rose, “but I’m going back next weekend.” “Really?” Lexi asked. Rose nodded. Rose thought this plan sounded awesome. A chance to defy authority? A chance to not just get out of the house, but leave the dimension?

Stay - from The Secret Portal Part One (Akash POV)

I glared at my reflection. My hair wouldn’t stay down no matter what I did. I sighed. If the definition of insanity was repeating the same thing and expecting a different result, I should’ve been locked away years ago.

Given - from The Secret Portal Part One (Noelle POV)

“I’ll admit, I was disappointed that you weren’t Inutilia, too.” “Why?” Mom sighed, turning to face me when we pulled up to a stoplight. “You can’t comprehend what it’s like to grow up powerless in a world of power. You learn to hate the society that oppressed you. And you’re now part of those oppressors.” I broke my gaze away from her. “Carissa, look at me.” I obeyed. “You’re in a unique position. I want you to fight for the Inutilia. If you must be given powers, you might as well do something good with them. I’ll let you decide what that is.”

Yourself - from The Secret Portal Part One (Akash POV)

“You wanna sit down?” Gwen asked me, gesturing to the spot next to her. I shook my head. “Thanks, but I’m good just flying.” “Doesn’t it get tiring?” she asked. I laughed, rubbing my hand through my hair. “Nah, it’s pretty relaxing, actually.” That was true. At first, I had to consciously keep myself up in the air, but now it was just as easy as standing. Or how I assumed standing was. Maybe you actually had to consciously keep yourself upright. I didn’t know.

Finite - from The Secret Portal Part Two (Gwen POV)

“Not all universes are complete,” Liam pointed out. “Dimensiokinetics are rare enough to where most data is from those who can sense universes, rather than travel to them. Regardless of what level of a dimensiokinetic, however, there’s no possible way to gather all the data. Kamanzi could have likely sent a dimensiokinetic to a universe that showed potential for whatever she needed, but she wanted some eyes on the inside of how it operated.” Lexi put her head in her hands. “We’re not getting anywhere with this.” “We can still sort through the dimensions in the database,” Gabriel offered. “I can sort through the ones there and eliminate what I can. It will take a very long time, though, even with the finite that have been recorded.”

Glory - N/A

[yomiurinikei]

Hello! I enjoy your blog and hearing you talk about the another cast! (I got into the franchise in like late August, am addicted) uh what would you say is your favorite hcs for some of the characters?

.....i never answered this i am SO sorry </3 gonna try to list off random hcs for a mix of characters!!

1)yuuki + nikei bond over drinking a absurd amount of soda. yuuki drinking mountain dew will always be real to me, and we knowww nikei likes weird and obscure sodas

2)kizuna struggles with being possessive over her items and doesn't like people borrowing her stuff, but if she actually tried it, she'd realize she really likes buying gifts for people

3)kanata isn't super into fashion but she likes feeling pretty, and often feels cute in like... flowy dresses, but she rarely has the time/energy, and feels a bit weird "dressing up"

4)while he felt more in his element in the killing game/had reason to distance himself from the class, and not try to bond with them, in non-despair verses, tsurugi feels really awkward around the others, and has a hard time engaging and making friends. part of this is because he befriended kouhei via kouhei looking at him and going "is for me?", part of it is because he's. ya know. still extremely traumatized by the uh... other thing that happened with kouhei

5)kinji can't draw for shit. like, objectively speaking, he can't get his pencil to do what he wants

6)yoruko dedicates one day a week to taking care of her hair, nails, skin, etc. it helps her feel in control + comfortable with her experience after being bullied, but once she does some more healing with her past, she realizes it's just genuinely soothing now

7)emma isn't very popular with her fellow actors. she tends to isolate a lot when on set, and isn't close with her co-stars. she's very friendly with reports, fans, et cetera though.

8)haruhiko is very "man i wish i liked dudes, girls are totally sweet, but sometimes i wish i could date guys too..." not realizing he literally just described an attraction to both genders.

9)im just generally a queer yuri truther. i remember seeing people say hc'ing him as lgbt was gross. i for one think that looking at how he acts in canon and going "yeah this is fine and healthy and indicative of a good mental status" is gross.

10)mikako had a "not like other girls" phase which she has officially left behind her, but only semi-recently. while working on undoing that mentality, she realized she's sapphic (i hc her as a-spec too tho, maybe aro lesbian? my identity hcs change every three seconds whoopsie)

11)speaking of. EVERYONE TRANS!!! i esp like transhet shinji tho that has a special place in my heart. he's big bro, ur honor <3

okay i want to say more BUT i have a lab due in a few hours and dont want to fall class so. the end!!!!! oh fuck i have to tag this.

[blushweddinggowns]

WIP Wednes-eekend: Summer Challenge Edition 

tagged by @devondespresso 💗💗💗

The Rules

Post the file names of up to 5 of your WIPs for people to send you asks

Post a snippet of one of those WIPs

When people send you an ask with the name of one of your WIPs, write 3 lines of that WIP.

(Optional) Post the lines you wrote.

You can send multiple requests especially since this is going on through the weekend!

WIPS

1. Possibilities (Spoiler its the amnesia verse)

2. Childhood

3. Uh oh she's happening

4. Siren

5. Steddie BigBang

Snippet

From the constant struggle of Possibilities (aka The Perfect Loving Nightmare) Nsfw under the cut, you've been warned.

Robin really hadn’t been kidding about the slut thing had she? 

As excited as Steve was to get back to this aspect of his life, he couldn’t help the blush that crept up his neck after studying the first photo. There he was, happy as could be in nothing but a lacy bra and panties with Eddie’s cock down his throat. He was laying flat on his back on their bed, eyes half lidded with a hand shoved down his panties while Eddie fucked his mouth. 

That set was definitely a contender. But he still thought he could find something better. He kept going, stopping when he found one that put the garter belt in perspective. It was a good photo, more sensual than sexual. It was of him, in a place that he didn’t recognize. He was sitting on a window sill, head turned with a joint between his lips as he stared out into the night. He was bare chested, a line of pretty bruises trailing down from his neck to a large bite on his shoulder. His legs were crossed, clad in nothing but black stockings and a silky garter belt around his waist to hold them up.

So that’s what those were for. Seems simple enough. But he still wasn’t completely sold. He kept going, breath catching in his throat when he flipped to the next page. Looks like the weird strappy thing had been lingerie after all. But it turned out there was no trick to that one, it was just obscene. It barely even qualified as clothing, not with the skimpy straps barely covering his nipples, leading down to wrap around his thighs while doing nothing to cover his lower half. He was on his knees, back straight as he stared up at the camera, a doopy smile on his face as white spend dripped down his chest. His cock was on full display, small and dripping, trapped in his pretty red cockcage. 

He looked so fucking happy. He always did, in all of them, even when he was crying. It would have been hard to believe if he hadn’t lived it. But as much of a fan as was of this particular number, he wasn’t ready for it. Even with the visual guide, he felt like he would need help getting that one on. He kept looking, his cheeks turning a darker shade of pink with every page.

Tags

Not many cause I am so anti-social its sad but: @henderdads @rogueddie @zerokrox-blog @scoops-stevie @spectrum-spectre

[anincompletelist]

Hi Sarah! 15, 17, 33, and 37 for the ask meme if you're feeling up to it. Hope you're doing well 💜

HI FRIEND! :D I am definitely feeling a little worn out but having fun answering some of these before bed :) I hope you've had a lovely day today!

+

15: Do you write in the margins of your books? Dog-ear your pages? Read in the bath? Why or why not? Do you judge people who do these things? Can we still be friends?

oh absolutely. most of my reading is non-fiction psych books and/or poetry, so there are all sorts of feelings that must be written down expeditiously usually, and if I write in a notebook instead then the two get separated inevitably so I've found it much easier to write right there on the page. I love making a book my own and making it feel 'lived in'. looking back one day and being like hey! this made me feel things!! so much so that I had to write it down or highlight it or circle it or earmark the page to come back to again and again! I LOVE. (I do not, however, read in the bathtub because I have anxiety and am far too afraid I will drop it in the water on accident ksjhdk)

17: Talk to me about the minutiae of your current WIP. Tell me about the lore, the history, the detail, the things that won’t make it in the text.

as we all know, I have an unholy amount of wips in the docs currently but I feel like my 'main' wip is bridesmaids, which is concluding at the end of this month! it definitely has more lore than most of my other fics do thanks to a bunch of the characters being originals! when I outlined for this fic I had pages of background info for each of the characters and how it affects their behaviors and ties into the major plot points, but a lot of those details got cut as the fic crossed 100k and I didn't want to include a bunch of lore that wasn't directly relevant to our main characters/pairing. but the little found family in this fic is so special to me and if anyone's ever interested (or maybe if I do another fic set in this verse one day?) I'd love to delve into the original characters a bit more! they have tons of quirks and little details that are so much fun hehehehe

33: Do you practice any other art besides writing? Does that art ever tie into your writing, or is it entirely separate?

I will do literally anything creative even if I am not good at it ksjhkdh I love to create! I've tried a bit of everything here and there, but I regularly enjoy photography, painting, and occasionally drawing! if poetry counts, I have written poems for fics, both in posted works and some upcoming ones, but other than that I've yet to have any of these crossover!

37: If you were to be remembered only by the words you’ve put on the page, what would future historians think of you?

ooooh what a good question!

ideally, I think I'd like some of the main takeaways to be that I felt deeply, did not shy away from hard or emotionally nuanced topics but always managed to find a bright spot within them, that ultimately leaves people walking away from my work feeling seen, validated, and/or inspired.

realistically, they might stick me in a textbook under the category 'words that should have been said to a therapist that have instead been immortalized on ao3 [tags include: emotional hurt/comfort, shameless smut]' SKJDHSKJDHSJH we out here!

+

[send me a weird question for writers or reblog to play along yourself!]

[thelivingautomaton]

*also i really really wish there was more stuff in the game with alan and casey (either real world casey or dark place casey) interacting* <- LITERALLY SAME‼️‼️ I had to scramble for footage for this edit but this whole concept is so intriguing to me and I wish we had a whole DLC with them (also thank you for nice tags under the rb ur too kind🫡)

(yes ofc, your graphics go so hard i love them!) and YES, it's such a wild concept to me especially because like. ok lemme put this under a cut for big-time alan wake 2 spoilers but also i kind of word-vomited a lot of percolating thoughts on the game, LOL oops

so for maybe 75% of the game i was CERTAIN that i had the game's twists Figured Out by the end of chapter 1, and i was sure that one of those twists was gonna be "fbi agent casey is 1:1 the same person as the fictional detective casey that alan's books are about, or even if he's not, agent casey was still created wholesale by alan as part of the overarching scheme to get saga to bright falls and have her assume the role of 'hero' in getting him out of the dark place". (this was part of my overarching idea re: saga's storyline which was that the version of events where saga lived in watery and logan drowned was the "true" reality, and alan rewrote her life/memories basically to "make" her into a better/less traumatized hero figure, and also get rid of stuff that would prevent her from wanting to go "back" to bright falls)

so like, at first i felt kind of "meh" about the reveal that fbi agent casey is the "real"/original/whatever version and fictional detective casey arose from alan using echoes of his life as writing material (compounded with the game making it pretty clear that alan can't wholesale make/create new stuff, just rewrite or guide what's already "real", and the seemingly straightforward reveal that saga's remembered version of events is "real" because she's immune to retcon bullshit). but the more i think about it the more i actually think it works really well and if anything is a much more interesting take on the trope of "fictional character and their creator interact/come into conflict"?

like, rather than the usual angst of "oh my god, am i real, is anything in my life real, does anything i do matter when my life is a fictional narrative", you get the more interesting flavors of inner drama both from casey (i.e. "i am a real person, but exactly how much of my memories and life can i trust, how much might have been twisted or rewritten by an outside hand to make a better story, could my past mistakes/regrets be erased, have they already been?") and also more importantly alan (i.e. "holy shit i've been taking Actual Real People and treating them like paper dolls to cut up and rearrange however i want to make a good story out of it")

plus by establishing that alan can't just make shit exist + nobody in the story is a made-up creation (well, i mean. within the narrative nobody is fictional, lol), it helps ground the story and characters and maintain your investment in their struggles and the stakes. and it also helps align the broader cosmology of the alan wake games with the wider remedy-verse by maintaining a baseline "reality" that presumably follows certain rules vis a vis the way objects of power and parautilitarian abilities work. like, the rules might be fucking weird, and we as players are probably getting only 20% of all the information because in-universe people know at most like, 40% of all the information, but it's clear that SOMEWHERE remedy has a bible of rules for How Their World Works so that they can keep things internally consistent across their games

with that all being said i also think they've left things open-ended enough that they can take a lot of these concepts in a bunch of directions simultaneously -- alan can still manifest/write up distorted funhouse mirror versions of "real" characters within the dark place who can yell at him for being a jackass or try to kill him or whatever, i wouldn't be surprised if one or both dlcs have further appearances of dark place casey and/or other "fictional" versions of casey written by alan, not to mention that real world fbi agent casey could easily get sucked into further metafictional alternate reality/narrative bullshit by virtue of how he got possessed by the dark presence (albeit briefly). like the only thing i'm for sure certain about is that remedy will probably keep finding new and exciting ways of pulling the rug out from under my feet, LOL

[violasmirabiles]

@someguywriting tagged me to list five favorites out of my own fics, thanks for the tag <3

(First of all a disclaimer, all but one of these have only been posted in Finnish because my main fandoms -- The Unknown Soldier and Under the North Star -- are pretty exclusively Finnish, and idk if I will ever translate them to English. I might! Who knows! It pisses me off how much Google Translate hates Finnish (fucks up the pronouns every time which might be the single worst thing, like if you look up a sentence that has a pronoun in it the ONLY alternate translation for that sentence will be the exact same thing but with a different pronoun, occasionally translates people's names literally, badly, unnecessarily, and wrong, cannot handle dialects at all). Plus there are a few English-speaking people in the Unknown Soldier fandom, and I happen to own not one but TWO different English translations of the Unknown Soldier because I’m so incredibly normal (lie) about it!! but I seriously doubt it’ll happen any time soon. BUT ANYWAY)

1) Hauntings. This is the first fic I posted in English. It's about Dan Torrance (my dearest darling, Blorbo even), Abra Stone, and the hugely traumatic moment in Doctor Sleep's climax where Dan almost kills Abra with his bare hands thinking she's Rose the Hat. It's inspired by a seminar paper I wrote in 2022 that eventually turned into my master's thesis. I was ridiculously nervous about writing and posting this, which feels a bit silly, but I just didn't have the kind of routine to Writing Fic In English™ that I have now and idk my brain made it weirder than it needed to be. (It goes the other way around in Finnish -- I know I can write decent essays but ohhhhh my GODDDDD it always starts out so sticky and slow and awkward. But it always gets easier after the sticky part. And now that I've been writing more fics in English, that's gotten a lot more natural too.) ANYWAY I got so into writing that seminar paper that even after I turned it in (a week late, running on no sleep and two ADHD medications) I was just. Sitting there vibrating because for the first time it felt like I might actually complete my degree, and also because of Blorbo Thoughts. I wrote this a couple of days later when I was feeling a bit less insane and, you know, had slept, and I really really like how it turned out. Family of all time.

2) Runoilija. Okay here we go. This is an Under the North Star ficlet. This is also the first ever Finnish-language work on AO3 with the Nonbinary Character tag (there are four in total, all written by me). This is the most personal fic I've ever written, but even just textually I think this is one of my most beautiful works. As someone who is Not Neurotypical and Very Not Straight, there's no fucking way the character this fic is about wasn't intended to be neurodivergent and queer. Though, obviously, since the Under the North Star trilogy was published between 1959 and 1962, and the character lives in the early 1900s, that... is not how he’s described. More of a "yeah he's weird but he's harmless, that's just the way he is". Importantly, his attitude to girls™ is described as "genderless" and obviously that particular word choice was what made me go HMM WHAT IF. The theme is basically "having no vocabulary for your gender experience is something that can really be so personal" and to make it super extra personal to me I made the character have an "oh" moment while learning English and finding out about gender-specific pronouns, which are not a thing in Finnish (though gender binary certainly is. Languages are cool and these things are complicated).

3) Ateenalaiset. The whole entire verse, really, but the original fic especially. It's an Unknown Soldier fic about the universally hated but Very Competent officer and the young idealistic approval-seeking officer (and the idealistic officer's fiancée) that I first started planning soon after the 2017 film came out and the fandom as we know it started to appear. Like there are two scenes in the final product that I know I talked about in a group chat in twenty goddamn seventeen. Problem was, I wasn't sure what to do with the story, where to go with it, or how I wanted to go there. I started posting it on AO3 as a multichapter in 2019 but realized it wasn't what I wanted and deleted it after maybe two chapters. Those chapters are incorporated in the final product. When it finally clicked and I started writing it for real I was supposed to be working on... a seminar paper that became the basis of my master’s thesis theory section. Heh. That paper sucked ass. But this fic. Oh man this is some of my best writing.

4) Trio. Speaking of some of my best writing, there's this. You know those posts about combining your old and new hyperfixations to create an AU that 99% of the time makes sense to precisely no one? Well. This is one of those. The Unknown Soldier and The Good, the Bad and the Ugly. Three guys from an iconic scene in the Unknown Soldier enacting the ending of GBU, over and over and over and over again. I keep switching people's places so everyone gets to be everyone many, many times over. And like. One of these characters is real quiet but somehow still has great one-liners. One is described by the author (outside the actual book) as having blond hair (a golden-haired angel, one might say). One shoots an unarmed POW in the back. All are war criminals, one rather significantly less so than the others. One ran a brothel in an occupied city during the few weeks they stayed there. Two of them, independently of one another, think about how "the worst they can throw at me is death and I can handle that". One always keeps his distance from everyone around him and everyone senses that there’s something cold and cruel about him they can't quite name. We never find out their first names. One loots every corpse he comes across, and in the 2017 film, one of those corpses turns out to be alive and he, horrified, suffocates him with his bare hands. One kicks a plate of porridge in a dead man's face and laughs about it. One says he doubts even God can bring himself to harass him. One avoided the actual fighting part of the war as much as he could but once risked his life getting the whole squad some new boots. I love love love all the implications of having each of those guys play Blondie or Tuco or Angel Eyes. They all speak so differently, they all act so differently, but they all make it work. Also I like to stir it up, have the Angel Eyes character survive and make a surprise attack. Have the Tuco character realize something's up and reload in time. Have the Angel Eyes character be a faster draw and have Blondie get shot. There are versions where everyone dies. There are shovels to hit people with. Bare hands, even. There's the very rickety cross. Truly the possibilities are endless and I'm like foaming at the mouth IASIP Pepe Silvia level insane about this fic.

5) Kotkanlento. Man I was going to put something else here but turns out I’m feeling a lot of feelings about Under the North Star today. Much like with Ateenalaiset, I'm really talking about the whole verse, it's all one big tragic story. And horny. The porn is absolutely essential to the tragedy. I think it's safe to assume that when Mr. Väinö Linna wrote about that one character drunkenly and tearfully reminiscing about how he and his long-dead friend used to get drunk together and fuck the same girls he did not mean to imply that they fucked those girls together, much less that they fucked each other, but, hey. All I'm saying is it doesn't exactly crash the canon, either. And there we have the least responsible bisexual poly relationship this side of the Häme province. I thought I was done with this verse last summer but iiiiiii don't think I am, I think there's another 15-part ficlet series on its way, I just need to figure out what exactly I want to do and what goes where. I really like writing these often nonlinear, independent of each other snippets/ficlets that are all pieces of the same fucked-up puzzle.

wow hehe these are. long ANYWAY I'm gonna tag @radiant-sunlight-blueberry, @vulptilla, @sisiljan and @caixxa. If you don't feel like doing it you can just ignore this, it's fine <3

[the-hilda-librarians-wife]

I spent too long thinking about this AU since queueing this post, so have some visuals for:

Kaisa:

Johanna-Edmund pair:

Kaisa and Johanna eventually skating together (unrealistic bc of Kaisa only skating on her own, but either bear with me or picture this being Johanna's fantasy):

Bonus lore for this AU under the cut:

Johanna-Ed duo are on the “older” side (for this sport, I mean). I imagine Johanna would be around 35, with Ed a few years ahead of her. They’ve been competing for a long while and are big names, have earned some very notable awards at that, but never Olympic gold.

That (and many other near wins of theirs) is due solely due to the fact that for the pair performances the judges tend to look for love stories and romantic/sexual chemistry between the partners

Needless to say, they’ve spent their entire careers advocating for a change in that mindset (what else could a sapphic/gay sibling pair do, am I right?)

Kaisa is just now popping up in the more important competitions of the country (and soon outside of it as well), quickly gathering a fan following and earning judges’ favour with her alluring and graceful performances

She’d been skating her whole life, but had never really competed outside of very local tournaments because she felt insecure about it, but was always very well known among everyone that trains in the same ring as her

Something Changed in recent times (maybe something to do with the Committee people having been on her hair and then suddenly not anymore? I’m working on it) that gave her the push she needed to actually start making a career out of figure skating. And that’s how she quickly became regarded as one of the country’s best

Johanna and Edmund train in a ring so unknown it’s basically particular, being a couple of kilometers outside the city center. Meanwhile, the ring where Kaisa has skated since she was 7 is smack in the middle of town and run by a kindly old woman who used to be a skater as well

(That being Tildy, obviously. She used to do pair skating with Peter Ostenfeld as her pair)

I mentioned the possibility of her being in this verse in the tags, BUT @blaithnne’s Lauren would probably fit in very well here, even if only to show up and Serve. [Sadie if you’re seeing this and I mischaracterize your girl too much let me know (or if you just Don’t Want Her Involved, just tell me as well!!)]

So, anyway, Lauren is Johanna’s oldest daughter, and she’s in her late teens here. She also takes an interest in skating, but doesn’t train with her family in their ring, because: 1- it’s too far and 2- skating with her mum and uncle feels Weird.

She attends, of course, Tildy’s ring. Meaning she’s had plenty of contact with Kaisa, even if she doesn’t have a lot of interest in competing outside of the events that Tildy herself organizes for the skaters that train there.

I don’t think Lauren would like to make a career out of competing, in my mind she skates for fun (and for posting on tiktok probably). But when she does compete in those inside events…. Oh boy…. The two of them sure be interacting…

Especially since her and Kaisa are in the same modality, so Lauren is always like “why is this woman who is like TWELVE YEARS OLDER than me competing here”. She would probably confront Kaisa about the reason for her being Olympics level skilled but still competing in, like, their ring’s end of the year tournament or something.

Though I know Lauren is a very insecure person so maybe it would even do her well to know that there’s someone around who is even MORE

(I think Kaisa would probably act as an instructor for younger skaters before gathering the courage to sign up for bigger tournaments. The image of Lauren being taught by her and then competing against her is hilarious to me)

(Scratch that, Kaisa definitely works as an instructor in Tildy’s ring. And Tildy not only pays her, obviously, but also lets her have the ring all to herself before opening hours and after closing time. And she coaches her and gives choreography advice a couple of days a week)

OH I described how I pictured everyone’s styles but not Lauren’s. I’m imagining that she does these upbeat performances that are more dancing than skating and Kaisa goes insane that her routines are so beloved by everyone without focusing as much on technique as Kaisa does lmao.

Visual for that: https://youtu.be/pni4-b7nPw4

Technically speaking I'm not 100% sure if this is in character for her (I seem to perceive Lauren as more confident than she actually is KJDHKJDFH) but it's definitely the Funniest possibility

Anyway. Kaisa arrives at some national tournament, eventually, and Ed-Johanna are obviously there too. Insert here the typical crush/admiration at first sight scenario (no rivalry because they’re in different disciplines thank God) where they keep getting closer and closer every tournament they meet and spending all the time they aren’t training with each other

They are however idiots and never ask each other about what city they live in. And Kaisa is even a bigger idiot because she thinks the siblings are married

(Lmao meanwhile Ed has a crush on the cryptic guy who is somehow running that ice clearing cart every tournament. What the hell is that thing called)

One time Johanna mentions her awe for Kaisa’s skill at the dinner table, and Lauren immediately huffs and begins going on about how annoying she can be and about she kept competing in the same tiny tournaments for years until she got the courage to begin rising

Johanna is like “WHAT??? You knew her??? Why didn’t you say anything or mention her ever??”

“Pft. Never seemed worth mentioning, she’s not all that” *yes she’s talking about the woman who just won gold in an international tournament*

From then on they’re able to actually hang out instead of just stealing moments when they’re in the same tournament

I bet Johanna would eventually say a sentence starting with “My brother-“, leading Kaisa to go “oh, I didn’t know you had a brother! :)”

Live Johan a reaction to that: 👁️👄👁️

Either that or the ‘Hilda running up to them and calling Ed her uncle’ option. Either way as soon as she catches up Lauren goes “shucks, fun is over :(“

Hmmm I’m not sure where any of this goes from then on. But I’m sure it ends with Kaisa feeling absolutely free to continue her career however way she wants it and getting the recognition she deserves, and with Johanna-Ed scoring that Olympic gold. And with Lauren slaying for eternity, of course

Oh and Hilda is a hockeu player, like I said in the tags. She's just happy to be there

Figure skating sketchbook AU where Kaisa is a singles skater and Johanna is a pairs skater and they start meeting at competitions. Kaisa is this black horse type of athlete who nobody knows where she came from but begins earning her success and fame because of her dramatic performances, flexibility and jumps, not to mention her witchy aesthetics. Johanna and her pair, Edmund, are known for their sync and impressive strength, their main focus being the storytelling that they’ve decided to direct towards stories that aren’t about romance, but rather about literally anything else, always with praise worthy creativity.

Kaisa tries to repress her feelings, of course. Johanna is obviously married to her partner, judging by how connected they are on the ice, and by the fact that they have the same surname.

She only realizes otherwise when Hilda shows up to congratulate her mother after a competition and yells “uncle, you did amazing!”

[twopoppies]

Can you believe it's that time of year already? Yep, it's time to make a collection of my most loved fics of 2021. In no particular order, except that I tried to group them together by length, here they are:

this is my jam by @disgruntledkittenface (M, 5K) where are all the gay bathhouse fics? This is the first one I’ve read in this fandom and I loved it. Set in the 90's, this author beautifully captured a sense of the times, the atmosphere, and the character’s connection and humanity in under 5K, and you really should read it.

My husband (29/M) died and has been possessed by a demon and now he’s cooking eggs in my kitchen as if nothing happened, what do I do? by adoreloux / @liamloveslarry (M, 4K) I’ve only recently found this author, but I love their fics. They’re definitely unique, just a bit quirky, and so well written. This one made me cry (I mean, Harry is dead. Sort of).

Jaerie's Kinktober: Self-cest by @jaerie (E, 2K) Oh, I loved this fic; there was a beautiful subtlety to it. The hints of how Harry would grow into his body and his gender, the hints towards monogamy, and the hint towards the pain involved with closeting was all wrapped up in the subtlety of how different Harry at 27 is from how he is at 19. It's only 2K, but it felt like so much more.

The Sleeping Giant by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup (T, 3K) This author writes the loveliest short stories… this one is filled with beautiful imagery and metaphor and just a hint of melancholy. I wish there were a dozen more chapters in this ‘verse, but it also was perfect just as it is.

Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover by @lovingstheantidote (E, 7K) This was sensual, erotic, and beautifully written. The author took a restaurant visit and a flirty first meeting, and turned it into something mouthwateringly sexy.

boy with kaleidoscope eyes by docklands (E, 8K) This was just lovely. There was so much tender sweetness in the way they treated each other and I loved that even though it was just in Louis’ POV, we still got a very clear picture of how Harry felt. Honestly Louis in this fic is just sweetest thing ever. Harry should marry that boy.

I Love My Hands Around Your Neck by @fournipplesau (E, 6K) Hello... this was really hot. I just loved the dynamic between the two of them—you really get a sense of the difference between them when they play and how they interact when they’re not. Also, just really hot. Did I say that already? Yeah.

and you still have time to be by loveroflou / @grimmpitch (M, 10K) Sometimes writers try too hard to be poetic, but sometimes their writing is just effortlessly beautiful. This is one of those kinds of fics. It's soft and intimate and full of so much perfectly-described moments of pain and tenderness.

Everything You Do by jishler / @snowjosh (E, 7K) This is my favorite of a 3-part collection (all of which are good), and wow. The author explores gender struggles in way that is incredibly tender and emotional, while still writing a super sexy fic. Loved this one.

Twist the Knife by jishler / @snowjosh (E, 6K) This fic packed such a punch in so few words (I’m beginning to realize that this author excels at that). It’s raw, sexy, and so emotional; I was left both totally fulfilled, and wanting more.

something wicked this way comes. by adoreloux / @liamloveslarry (E, 7K) weird, unique, and delightfully quirky. I’ve read a bunch from this author and they can all be described that way, all well as having sparse, crisp writing. This one has a Twin Peaks vibe, and a very concerned Louis trying his best to protect Harry.

Diamonds and Pearls by superglass (NR, 7K) Absolutely gorgeous writing. Tender, delicate, dreamy. Set in NY in the 1980s, so read the tags. I just really loved this one and look forward to reading more of this author’s writing.

Single Bells Ring by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense (M, 17K) This was so much fun and the banter was absolutely brilliant. I loved their back and forth and how Harry kept Louis on the edge, never being 100% sure Harry was into him, until the very end.

Even On My Worst Days by @homosociallyyours (E, 22K) Soft, tender, warm and so well written. This author really captures the reality of chronic illness without ever making Harry seem helpless or a victim. Louis is just so loving and understanding in all of the best ways.

Deux Fantômes by ohpleaselarry (E, 16K) So, let me start by saying I cried through ¾ of this. I promise it’s a happy ending, but it’s heavy and very moving. Please read the tags as there are some triggering things, but it’s also so sweet and gentle and really well written.

Keep Me Closer by zanni_scaramouche / @zanniscaramouche (T, 18K) This so tender and thoughtful and just... delicate. I wish I'd stopped to copy down some of the beautiful prose, but I didn't want to stop reading! The author smoothly wove in their backstories and I loved how viscerally they described the character’s physical reactions to each other. It’s just a beautiful piece of writing.

Literally Making Love by Brooklyn_Babylon / @twopoppies (E, 30K) This one is mine, so I can’t really review it, but it’s a story of a lonely man who ends up creating a companion who ultimately teaches him about love and humanity. I’ve been told is that it’s funny, sexy, touching, and not at all what people expected. I hope you’ll give it a try!

and i'm weeping warm honey and milk (that you stay surrounding me) by FangirlFlailings/ @wooltobravetheseasons​ (M, 78K) This fic digs deep into therapy and recovery from PTSD and anxiety. It included everything from great Ot5 friendship, great side Ziam, coming out, commitment phobic Harry, and of course, vulnerable Louis. I really enjoyed this one.

of the divine by @thedevilinmybrain (Mixed ratings, 2-part series, 104K) Oh my god. This series. I cried buckets. It’s so beautifully written. The sex scenes are so tender and sexy, but in such a pure way. Their relationship is so good… you can totally feel how much they love each other, the climactic scene OH MY GOD so intense. It’s also got great zouis friendship and a very sweet narry friendship. Tender punk Louis and guardian angel Harry. Read it.

But If This Ends by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense (E, 107K) This author referred to this fic as their “depressed vampire” fic while they were writing, and it is that. But it’s also a unique story with beautifully fleshed out characters, plot twists, and super hot smut. Go check it out!

The Serpent and the Lion by louiseparker (E, 212K) Despite the fact that I have zero interest in Harry Potter, I was pulled into this immediately and read all 200+K in two days. The author does a wonderful job of creating a nuanced OT5 friendship, writes great dialogue, and draws a intricate picture of life at Hogwartz. Most of all, I loved the use of flashbacks to tell the story, the deeply layered characterization of Harry, and how wonderfully he and Louis fit together and brought out the best in each other. I’m so happy I found this one.

[detectivemarvelingcomics]

Not Your Classic Vigilante [Ch. 7]

Alternate Dimension AU

TW: Language, Mentions of Death, Descriptions of Violence, Scar Mention, Mentions of Suicide/Suicidal Thoughts, Implied Sexual Assault

CW: OC Use, See the OC Guide [Here]

Genre: Angst, Some Comedy

Pairing: Batfamily x Batsis!Reader

(7/?) [First] | [Previous] | [Next]

[DC Masterlist] | [Not Your Classic Vigilante Masterlist]

YN Pronouns: Female (She/Her)

Word Count: 5.0K

Notes: WHOAAAAAAA When was the last time I updated this I'm so sorry guys I'll try to spend more time on this blog cuz wow this fic is so fun to write ahaha

Not Your Classic Vigilante: @gabytodd @marshmallow12435 @escapenightmare @luminaaz @akuri-shinsou

Unable to be Tagged: @peachydoki @lolsnack

Disclaimer: This series is originally by @fandom-meanderer who is a close friend of mine, but she has since fallen out of her Tumblr days and asked me to finish a few series for her, hence why I am now in ownership of the Not Your Classic Vigilante series, I hope I can still live up to her writing as I rewrite this series! (I promise not to change too much, hehe)

15 June 2015

“That one, I think, would be Orion,” you pointed to the constellation in the sky, your other hand holding your phone up to illuminate the astrological book on your lap. Your back was pressed up against the hard metal of the back of the truck, the cold being muted out by the quilt beneath you. To your side, Conner only hummed. His fingers drummed on his chest and he kept one arm behind his head.

“How d’you know?” His voice was gruff, and it was sign enough of what he had been doing prior to your date. He never told you about them, but you always knew. It was a stipulation of Tim’s, always trying to keep you as far away from the vigilante gig as he could but you’re bound to get wound up in it when all of your friends and the majority of people who surrounded you happened to be of the extraordinary kind. But, there was always this weird air around him when he’d just come back from missions, and you always knew that the worst ones preceded the text that would appear in your phone from him.

That and you could clearly see the new scars on his arms, Conner wasn’t too versed in makeup, it would seem, but the thought was still there. Who knew that it would be in your teens that you’d have to deal with your hero boyfriend who had an affinity for getting beat up on missions and going on dates with you right after? It wasn’t something on your checklist, that’s for sure.

“See how those stars connect? That’s his belt, then you go from there,” you spoke in hushed whispers. You turned your head to him, his eyes squinting as he tried to make out what you were saying. You sighed and pressed your head against his, trying to see things from where he was. Your hand wrapped around his wrist and you held it up, pointing his hand to where the belt started. “Now do you see? Here’s where it starts,” you moved his hand slightly to the side and his gaze followed, “and there’s where it ends. Now, you go up or down and you see the faint outline of the warrior,” your hand moved down his arm until it reached the first large scar, poorly applied foundation removed easily under your touch and you chuckled. “You know, Con, you have to blend it out.”

“Seriously? Donna said all I had to do was put it on like lotion…” He wipes the rest off with his sleeve.

“Oh, dear, no, honey,” you laughed. “And you have to get your right shade,” you took some foundation off his hand and swiped it across his cheek. “This is about two shades too dark,” you smiled. “But, seriously, you don’t have to hide it from me. I’ve seen my brothers come home with so much worse,” you muttered. Soon your hands intertwined and your eyes raked over the recently healed over scars.

“Tell me about it,” Conner did nothing while you traced over it.

“Wonder what the other guy looks like.”

“What’s left of him?” He adds with a short laugh. You only smiled in response and soon you felt him push his head against yours softly.

“Everything alright?”

“Yeah… Yeah, it’s alright,” he nodded his head slowly and you hummed quietly. “I don’t really want to think about it right now.”

“In that case…” you understood what he meant. “This is a really nice quilt, I feel kind of bad for just laying it on top of this dirty truck bed,” you played with the edges of it.

“Hey! I washed it, you know,” he rolls his eyes and you pushed his chest gently.

“Just teasing, it looks like Mrs. Kent worked hard on it, though,” you smoothened out the wrinkles now.

“Speaking of… it’s for you,” he sits up and looks at the patches on the quilt, he holds up the corner piece that sported the bat insignia on it.

“Why tell me after we dirtied it?” You grew wide eyed for a moment. “Oh, wait, so you wouldn’t have to wash it, huh?” You squeezed his cheek. “You suck,” your smile betrayed you.

“Yeah, well, you’re the one who can’t keep their hands off of me.”

“Ew,” you squeezed your eyes shut and shook your head. “You’re the one who’s obsessed with me.”

“Yeah, that’s also true,” he tilted his head to the side. His phone rings in the truck and he sighs. You only straightened, knowing that ringtone well.

“Duty calls?”

“If I just let it go to voice mail, do you think they’ll just assume I’m busy?”

“You could try that. Or you could chance Bart running all the way here and catching us.”

“Dear god, I might actually lose my mind if he did that, hold on,” he hopped out of the truck and sat back in the driver’s seat. You, meanwhile, stayed in place. You picked up the quilt, it wasn’t too dirty, actually, save for some bits of hay and dirt beneath it, but nothing a good wash couldn’t handle. It really did look like Mrs. Kent spent a lot of time on it, the stitches and the fabrics were meticulously placed, and the small depictions on each tile represented a facet of you.

It was a darling gift.

~

28 July 2022

And now, it was draped over your wall. It was kept clean, you assumed that Alfred regularly washed it, but at a closer glance you could see some of the edges frayed with use. You wonder who caused those?

The clock stroke midnight, and the Manor was empty save for two souls. Everyone else had gone on patrol, go figure. Dead sister comes back but crime never sleeps. Granted, Tim made a really good argument for having one of them stay behind, but Alfred ceremoniously volunteered himself to monitor you. Great.

Alfred Pennyworth sat in the library, patiently waiting for the Master of the home, with a simple book in hand and a cup of tea in another. The library was lit in a way that made the area seem warm and welcoming. Anyone who walked into its warmth would be encased in a feeling of comfort and safety that all else would fade away and allow one restful night. The old butler thought back to the simpler times when the Waynes were a rather joyous group, well, as joyous as a family could be given their hobby. Now would be an important time to note that the book in Alfred’s hands was not one you would find in a store, no, not quite, it was a birthday present gifted to Bruce Wayne by the one and only (Y/N) Wayne. The brightest of the Waynes, but at the same time the most tragic. All she wanted was her father’s approval, but it never came. And despite all the love and affection her siblings gave her, it was never enough to fill the void left by her own father. His eyes drifted over to the darkness of the hallway. The (Y/N) that entered the manor that day, he knew it was her, yet at the same time he knew it wasn’t. But what is this strange feeling?

Now, in stark difference to the library, was the rather cold and secluded bedroom where our heroine lay. Your eyes staring up at the ceiling, unable to even consider the horrors of allowing the tired captain to close her eyes for just a moment. Years of being in a new world conditioned you to be unable to relax in atmospheres like this, cold and alone. An environment that used to feel like the afore mentioned room, was now the opposite. You were at attention, like something would jump out at the shadows any minute now.

But there was a time where this room was, as Tim put it, the happiest place in the mansion. You recalled when the then younger Tim Drake would run in, shaking in his pajamas, and timidly ask to sleep with you after thinking it a good idea to watch a horror movie with Jason, or how every now and then you’d find Damian resting at the foot of your bed in full regalia and all. Even the days where Jason would come to just annoy the living hell out of you and Dick would yell at him from the next room over. You remembered these fondly, but was still unable to find yourself in a state of comfort. Was it the loathing you felt for this manor in general? Or was it the constant nagging of your best friend in your head. Whatever it was, it was enough to drag you out of the prison of your bed and onto your feet.

‘What, Alex?’ You grumbled, your hand clutching your heart. You looked to the wall in front of you, the intricate quilt that hung undisturbed seemed to mock you. You remembered shoving it into your closet after you and Conner had broken up, but someone must have taken it out to display it.

‘Remind me again why you two broke up,’ his voice had a hint of teasing in it. ‘I still remember those ten-paged letters you’d send me detailing every single glance he gave you.’

‘Oh, stop it. I was young and he was my first. And to answer your question, he fell in love with Cassie, perfect Cassie, how could I compete with that? Who was I to get in the way of that? A Super-Boy with a Wonder-Girl. I wonder if they stayed together.’

‘I’m now remembering your fifteen-page letter on that.’

‘Don’t tease me. I literally didn’t speak to either of them for months and I avoided Mr. Kent and Jon like the plague until Mr. Kent came here himself. It was so awkward…’

‘I don’t doubt it,’ Alex sounded like he was doing something as he spoke to you. ‘Anyway, I’m sure you’d love to come back, and I can see that the path to your father’s computer is empty.’

‘Okay, yeah, I’m going. Alfred’s pretty vigilant though.’

‘Ah, so you need a diversion.’

‘Yup, what do you have up your sleeves?’

‘Not much, unfortunately. Oh wait, just kidding.’

‘Wait, what? What’s up?’ Your mental conversation is disrupted by a small but sudden explosion outside. You rushed over to the window as Carter gives you a sloppy salute. You look down and notice Alfred walking out to investigate. ‘Alexander Wright, you are a genius.’

‘Thank you, darling. But you really should be thanking Carter, I’m sure he’d love praise from his dear Captain.’

‘Don’t say it like that it’s creepy.’

‘Is it? Why don’t you pay more attention to his mannerisms? I’m sure the two of you would make a lovely couple.’

‘What do you mean?’ Your face heats slightly. Was he catching on? Maybe you should’ve thought twice before keeping a secret from your best friend, but it’s not something you wanted to parade around. ‘Alex?’

After repeatedly trying to call out to him, and repeatedly not hearing a response, you opted to run down the stairs, making sure that Alfred is kept busy as you accessed the bat cave.

‘If you’re done teasing, how’s the cameras?’

‘Took him a while, but Carter was able to get them down for a moment.’

‘Good.’ You descended into the cavern. You fired up the comically large computer a d watched it spark to life, an array of articles that didn’t concern you filled the desktop and similarly multiple programs started running at once. You fumbled to pull the flash drive out but quickly regain composure as you watched all of the information from the bat computer duplicate and save onto the small device that would serve to be your lifeline. Then, a password prompt appeared. You typed in the password you remembered, your hand hovering over the enter button, but… if you were wrong, if your father changed it, then it wold be all game over for you. Instead, you went with the safer option. You pressed the small button on the flash drive and it was quickly overridden, that’s one obstacle down. The whole time you could feel your heart rate rise. You didn’t know how much your father’s tech had changed since three years ago, and you didn’t know if it would detect the device or not. So far, so good, though. You just hoped that there wasn’t a backdoor program that was alerting him right now. But why were the flags in your head raising? You looked around, the cave was dark to hide your presence more but you could swear that something was watching you. You turned back in time for the drive to finish its work.

‘Don’t forget the device.’

‘I know, I know, fuck off.’ You mentally argue with Alexander. You pulled out a second listening device and planted it far beneath the desk just as the flash drive completed its purpose. Just as quickly as you went in, you pulled out the flash drive and retreated back upstairs; however, this time you couldn’t ignore the library. You spent a lot of your time there, now that you thought about it, there was just something so soothing about the never-ending walls of pages. Seeing as it was still empty, you walked in.

‘What are you doing?’

‘I’m rarely ever home, let me live through the nostalgia again in peace, alright?’ He didn’t respond.

You looked out the window and watched Alfred finish cleaning up the aftermath of Carter’s work and more questions popped into your mind.

First of all, how did they cope after you left? Your father, you can guess easily, probably didn’t find out until months after the fact. Your brothers, Dick in particular, must have been heartbroken. You could hate your father as much as you wanted, but you could never hate your siblings. All of the carnival days with Dick, the late night motorcycle rides with Jason, how you and Tim would do midnight to dawn homework sessions together, and how could you forget about all the arcade days with Damian? And furthermore, the cute movie nights with Steph, or the girls’ nights with Cass, all of these were memories that you held dear. Cass, you thought of her more often than the others sometimes, she truly was, at one point, your best friend.

Cass... you needed to avoid her at all costs.

But more questions distracted you, how different would things be if you had stayed? Would you have gained your father’s approval? Would you have graduated? Who knows? Maybe you would have finally met someone who could have filled that lack of fatherly care. Maybe you would have met someone to share your life with under different circumstances. Two names appeared in your head, but you dismissed them quickly.

Your eyes land on the book near the fire. It was crudely bound with yarn and hastily glued over with scribbles of crayon on the cardboard covers. The pages contained between them were that of various colored construction paper until the last few pages that were white and neatly stacked against each other, no doubt added on much later. You recognized this book that stood out like a sore thumb compared to the expensively bound ones that surrounded it, and you recognized it because it was yours. You picked it up and turned through the pages. It was a sloppy, albeit adorable, picture book littered with polaroids of yourself and your many family members, and each picture had a short description next to it written in the same crayon that adorned the cover. You remembered clearly, you made this to give to your father. You had felt terrible that he was on “business trips” all of the time, and you felt like he would miss his family. At the time, the only people pictured were yourself, Dick, Jason, Alfred, and your mother. Simpler times. You flipped through the pages and noticed that they had been filled in with more neat handwriting and more professional pictures, and you easily recognized this to be Alfred’s doing. Finally, you came to a stop at the last page. In childish writing, it read: “For my superhero dad! So he would always have his family with him!”

Superhero. Is that what he was? That’s how you always thought of him back then. Your mother called him that, the superhero that Gotham needed. Alfred called him that, the superhero that kept you safe. Mr. Kent called him that, the superhero who was his best friend, and the list went on. You called him that at one point. When you were younger, you remembered how when you’d call he’d run over in a heartbeat, working quickly to rid of what upset you in the first place, and you remembered thinking of him as your hero. That all changed when you grew old enough to fully understand what it was that he did, when you renounced the family business, that’s when tensions started to arise. And they kept rising until they were untamable.

Then you died, but we’ve been over that enough times already.

“I know it may not seem like it, Miss (Y/N),” Alfred cuts in. You don’t move from your spot and continue to stare down at the page. You tapped your finger against the picture of you and your father. You didn’t even think he had any other pictures of you aside from this one. “But your father did truly love you.”

“Right,” your facade breaks. You catch yourself and took a deep breath. All these years, and all the lies you’ve told yourself, you’re back at the place you once called home and already you’re wishing you had even an ounce of his approval. “I’m sure he did.”

“Are you really the same (Y/N) Wayne who left this manor three years ago?” Alfred moves cautiously towards you. You take in a deep breath and close the picture book.

“Keen as ever, Alfred,” you smiled weakly. There’s no point in lying to him now, your best bet is to inch around the truth.

“Your smile certainly isn’t,” Alfred points out. He takes a seat by the fire once more and gestures for you to do the same. “It’s different, almost like you have seen a world of pain. And your eyes, they look so much like your father’s, and you know what I mean by that.”

“Do they? I guess that would make sense,” you try to build up you character again. You couldn’t jeopardize the mission, not when the flash drive was finally in your pocket. “I did die.”

“That is true,” Alfred says sadly. He drinks his tea silently. “Do you really not remember anything from that day?”

“I do not,” you lied. The two remain quiet for awhile. You coughed lightly and placed your hand on your heart.

‘He’s catching on,’ you worried.

‘It appears so,’ Alex responds. ‘Remain vigilant.’

“Are you alright, Miss (Y/N),” Alfred speaks again.

“I have been having these strange chest pains,” you explain.

‘Is that all I am to you? Strange chest pains?’ Alex teases. You let your hand drop to your lap, ending your side of the conversation with Alex.

Chest pains. Might be a little complicated to explain to Alfred the circumstances of your survival up to this point. The scar of a magical circle over your heart, one that linked you to the voice in your head, without it, you doubt you’d be able to function as a whole human, if that’s what you still were. You didn’t blame Alex, you couldn’t, his life was on the line and yours was already gone, with the Queen looming over him, you would’ve done the same.

The only catch now is that you have to be careful how far you are from him, which is quite generous.

“Maybe it’s an after effect of dying,” you finally said. And in some ways it was. You don’t remember your heart being taken from you that night, at least. If it was then you were already long dead before you could’ve noticed.

“Please don’t speak of your death so calmly,” Alfred shakes his head. “Dick did not sleep for days, Jason kept coming home with new wounds, Cassandra regressed so far to the point where she shut herself out, Tim kept surrounding himself with work, and do not get me started on Damian… It truly was a tragedy for us. You may not believe it, but it was.”

“Was it for dad?” You looked up at him again, but this time with genuine curiosity. Alfred is silent for awhile. “Did he even know?” You felt your voice waiver. You couldn’t understand why you felt this way, you should loathe him, and you wanted to, so you did for a time. But, and this is what you were afraid of when you heard you had to come back here, with all of these memories resurfacing, you didn’t know what you wanted anymore.

You shouldn’t have come here, you should’ve taken the long route and studied each member yourself.

“He… He did not,” Alfred admits. You put on another pained smile and nodded slowly.

“Of course he didn’t. Why would he care?”

“He was on mission for the League, at the time. No one could reach him and… he didn’t find out until Mr. Kent came over to pay his condolences,” Alfred admits. Of course Mr. Kent came. He treated you more like family than your father ever could. “Just a few days before your funeral.”

“Right, sounds like him,” you shake your head. Before Alfred could try to defend your father’s actions furthermore, you spoke up quickly, “Al, what else changed while I was gone? I feel like I don’t recognize things anymore, nothing is the same here. I don’t even recognize myself when I look into a mirror.”

“A lot has changed, my dear girl,” he nods his head. “And, it will take time, but you will grow accustomed once again, and we will do it together,” he says. You both hear a bookcase slide open then closed. “Your father’s home.”

“I’m going to bed.”

“Do you not want to see him?”

“No,” your answer came out quickly and sharply. It was a tone Alfred had never heard in your voice, and you knew he caught onto it. “Al, my last memory of this house is dad telling me that I have no value in this family, so… no, I really don’t want to see him right now,” you finished. Yet you didn’t move. “Did he even grieve?”

“We all have different ways of grieving, my dear.”

“What was his?” You leaned forward, your elbows resting on your knees now. “No, don’t tell me, I already know. He worked, didn’t he? Arkham must have had a field day,” you shook your head. Alfred didn’t answer and you knew you got it spot on. You wondered how your mother coped with it all, if it was a good idea to even see her at all. Despite appearances, she really was one of the pillars of your life. The days you spent with her helped you release so much stress off of your shoulders and made you feel so carefree that you’d forget all about your vigilante family. Granted, she was somewhat one of herself, but she knew how to separate life and work much better than any of the Waynes did. You shook your head. Why are you still here? “I’m going to bed.” You stood up this time, but as you did so, the library door opened. You didn’t move, your back was to the door and you looked out the window.

It was a night just like this one, your very last one on this earth.

~

27 July 2019

It was such a lovely night. The moon was full, and the air wasn’t as smoggy as it usually was in this godforsaken city. You had finished your final, three hours of grueling free response finally over as you made your way back to your apartment, having given up on the dorms since you’ve started to become independent of the Wayne fortune. You had your scholarships to pay rent, but you’ve barely even started unpacking your boxes. You stretched your arms over your head.

You were done. Once you got this grade from your final, you’d see if you would be able to graduate, and once you did? Who knows what’s next. You only had the rest of your life. You couldn’t stop the smile on your face. Never had you felt so much more relief than to know that you did it. You took your phone out, your thumb hovering over Dick’s contact, but you paused.

You wondered if your father had told everyone yet.

Without another thought, you scrolled on, your thumb landing on Roy’s number instead. It only rang once before he picked up.

“How’d your final go, Goose?” The nickname had a teasing connotation to it, but you ignored it. It was an old nickname he’d had for you since his time in the titans with your older brothers and whenever he said it it was quickly followed by you getting shot with a nerf gun and still, one year into this secret relationship, he still never relented when he called you by it.

“I think I did really good, actually! I feel like celebrating, are you busy right now?” You walked with a slight skip in your step.

“Uh… shit, yeah actually,” he says. “I’m with Jason right now.”

“Oh, crap, why’d you pick up then?!”

“And ignore a call from a pretty girl like you? How could I?”

“I’ll never understand how you do that so easily,” the heat in your cheeks was especially prominent with the cold air around you. “You talk to everyone like that?”

“Only to the future Mrs. Harper, of course.”

“Oh, god,” you rolled your eyes, but your smile betrayed you. “Raincheck then?”

“Raincheck. I’ll take you out to the best dinner you could even dream of.”

“Just so you know, Red, burnt chicken and raw asparagus isn’t what I have in mind for a celebratory dinner.”

“That was just the once, (Y/N)! Besides, I bet you’re equally as bad in a kitchen, trust fund kid.”

“That’s not what you said when you were bedridden in my dorm room for a week.”

“Your roommate is so cool for that, by the way.”

“Oh, I’m sure she just didn’t want to die,” you laughed. “Okay, I’ll call you later, I’m on my way back to my apartment.”

“You need help getting settled? I’ll gladly ditch your depressed brother for you any day.”

“Oh? And what’s your excuse?”

“Same one I gave him when I answered you. A pretty girl needs my help.”

“Screw you,” you shook your head.

“Maybe tomorrow if you’re lucky.”

“You’re so shameless, Roy,” you sighed. “Seriously, go back to whatever you’re doing together before Jason gets curious.”

“Do we know the same Jason Todd?”

“Roy!”

“Okay, okay, I’m going, I’ll see you later, (Y/N).”

“Bye,” you waited for him to hang up first before continuing. It was just around the block now, and the streets were clear. But, the longer you walked, the more anxious you got. You looked over your shoulder, once, twice, and maybe thrice now.

No, this area was a part of Tim’s rounds, you’ll be okay.

You’ll be okay. You thought this even as you felt someone grab your arm and drag you into an alley.

~

28 July 2022

“Alfred, leave the room.” You were pulled back into reality with a blink of your eyes. The moon was still as bright as ever. Alfred looked to you before looking to the person behind you.

“Of course, Master Bruce,” Alfred spared you one glance before exiting the room. You didn’t look behind you. You didn’t want to.

“(Y/N),” your father’s voice was stern. Always stern with him, he was never relaxed. You didn’t move. You didn’t want to. You took a deep breath.

‘Do you need another diversion?’ Alex’s voice rang in your head. You placed your hand on your heart, feeling the skin between them burning.

‘No. It wouldn’t work anyway.’ You turned around. “Hey, dad. Long time no see.” You kept your words slow, the library only illuminated by the fireplace that roared next to you. A fireplace in a room full of books, it spelled trouble, in your opinion. You closed the crude picture book with one hand while you looked at your father. His cowl was off, it was bundled in one of his fists, and his suit looked to have undergone some changes since last you saw it, but the man before you was undoubtedly your father. He took a few steps towards you until he was an arm’s distance. You both stood in silence, and the flash drive in your pocket became all the heavier. You couldn’t read his expression, you never were able to, but now it felt more intimidating than ever. For the first time in a while, you felt so small. You should’ve known that your high horse would have stayed on the other earth.

‘Take a deep breath, (Y/N), steady yourself,’ Alex spoke gently. Back in character.

“I’m sorry, I know I shouldn’t have come, I’m not welcome here anymore, but according to Jason, I have nowhere else to go,” you explained, keeping your voice from wavering. Bruce made no moves, he just continued to stare down at you. Until, finally, his hand rose and settled on your shoulder. It wasn’t heavy, had it not been for the soft grip you’d think that he wasn’t even touching you at all.

“You’re home, you’re always welcome here.” Such words that were so weighted were said by a man with only a sliver of emotion. His expression that was once straight finally broke and, for a moment, you could’ve sworn that you saw sympathy. You bit back any smart remarks and instead shrugged his hand off.

“I’ll be gone by tomorrow,” is all you said. You walked past him and back up the stairs, part of you hoped that he’d call you back, maybe have a civil conversation, but no such wish was answered. No, instead you continued forth until you were once again situated on your bed, memories of a time past swirling in your head.

This was a bad idea.

[blustalker]

Meeting LJ

Lj x Gn!Reader

words: 1.5k

a/n: Go easy on me dudes this is my first time posting a story

“Adam wanna come outside and play in the park? We haven't hang out for a while now have we, buddy?” y/n told their 6 year old little brother. Adam was always cooped up in the house since it's been summer break. They felt bad for not being there for him more often. y/n’s work has been taking a load on them.

“Can I please stay here instead? I don’t want to leave LJ pleasee?” Adam pleaded

‘LJ? Who the fuck is that..probably just an imaginary friend or something’

“Oh? Is that your new friend? What do they look like?” y/n asked kinda creeped out about it but shrugged it off wanting to engage a conversation with Adam

“Mhm he keeps me company and he's very funny. His name is Laughing Jack or LJ for short. He has this big long nose and OH! He looks so cool! He wears these black and white clothes and is very tall!” He yelled happily 

‘Dam..That’s not creepy at all’ y/n thought

“Well he can tag along with us. It will be fun, don't you think? Now grab your coat and hat, it's pretty chilly outside” They said cheerily but on the inside they didn't want whatever this creature was, not that it matters he's not real.

“Yes!” He quickly stood up and rushed out the door. y/n sighed and took one last glance around his room before seeing a black shadow dash on the corner of their eye making them spin their head towards that direction. 

“I swear to god. Ghosts not now kill me later- I mean don’t kill me. Fuck go away” y/n hastily said and closed their brother’s room.

Ah yes the park, a lovely place to be in beautiful dandelion flowers are seen along the path towards the playground. Kids swaying on swings, the other slid on the slides. All the elderly people were watching, sitting and observing their children's play. The other moms were gossiping and talking shit of each other 

“Go ahead and play there Adam I’ll join you in a few” y/n said sitting on a bench they watched as he rushed along and verse with other kids. y/n looked up at the sky and closed their eyes thinking of work..No I should push that aside for now they thought.

 Y/n exhaled through their nose and opened their eyes to be welcomed with a demonic looking creature smiling wide at them with pointy yellow teeth and a long cone shaped nose. y/n jolted up and yelped loudly which received weird glances from the people around them. y/n was embarrassed but they glanced around them but whatever the fuck that was seems like it disappeared. That thing looked exactly like Adam’s “friend” according to how he described him. 

“Shit shit what the fuck was that?!” They whisper shouted at themselves now feeling paranoid of their surroundings 

“y/n come join me!” Adam shouted suddenly making them flinch 

“Coming!”

Both siblings played around there for a few hours before y/n decided that they should both leave before it gets dark. The whole time y/n would glance around their surroundings hoping not to see that smiling monochrome creature both of them finally reached the house, for dinner y/n just heated up some leftover food and at that the day was almost over.

“Come on dear brother it’s time for bed” They said as he helped him change his clothes to a more comfier one and tucked him in the bed. “Goodnight Adam I love you” y/n said kissing Adams forehead

“Goodnight y/n and Lj” He smiled at the both of them

y/n felt goosebumps all over their body and left Adam’s room hastily feeling very unsettled.

“Fuking Lj, that creepy bitch. Fuck it I’m not sleeping tonight” They said running into their room scared. 

y/n laid down on their bed and all the lights were on, so is the TV hoping it would distract them from the thought. “I’m a fuking adult. I shouldn't be scared for the love of shit” y/n just stayed there on their bed watching random channels on the TV for hours but the sleepiness took over and they passed out. 

It's been a week since that happened and everything is going strange 1. Someone is leaving candy in front of your doorstep and few small dandelion flowers 2. Adam is always talking to himself in his room 3. A shadowy figure keeps appearing on y/n’s peripheral vision it's making them so paranoid to the point y/n tried calling the police because someone keeps leaving candy and flowers in front of their house but the stupid officers just laughed at them and said it was probably some prank someone is pulling.

“Well fuck you too what if its some stalker leaving candy and flowers or some shit” They muttered to themselves. All sorts of candy were piled on their front door to snickers, skittles, m&m etc. y/n was actually tempted to take one but was too scared to reach for one.

Adam had requested y/n to watch a movie together when they returned from work. He loves watching movies, especially “Scream”. He likes to re-watch it everytime not that y/n is complaining they like Stu Macher and would watch the movie a thousand times just for him. 

They both watched all the scream movies before passing out on the couch. What a lovely night isn't it. I think a Monochromic clown enjoyed it too who y/n seems to have momentarily forgotten about.

y/n slowly woke up from hearing murmurs from his brother

“Adam why are you awake- WHAT THE FUCK GET AWAY FROM HIM” y/n stood up and tried to get closer but some force was not letting them

“y/n! You’re awake and you can see him! This is LJ my friend-” Adam was cut off by y/n

“No no Adam that is not your friend that is some demonic shit and I can’t fucking move! GET OUT OF HERE!” They shouted frustrated in the verge of tears

“Ah aren’t you y/n how adorable” Lj chuckled

“Who the fuck are you and what do you want from us” y/n growled they cant move a limb and remained standing infront of them.

“Don't worry y/n he's very kind and nice and he's not a demon he's a clown!” Adam smiled at you. Oh how innocent this soul is not knowing this clown can kill him any second.

“I don’t want anything from your brother. I want you. Adam, why don't you go to y/n’s room and find a movie for all of us to watch, while I get to know your lovely little sibling.” He smiled his sharp teeth showing  

“Sure!” He stood up from the floor and went upstairs to your room to find a your collection of CDs

“Am I on fuking drugs? Don’t you dare fuking hurt him if you’re actually real. I'm gonna rip your guts out you tall bitch!” y/n shouted but lowered it down hoping Adam won't hear. y/n was scared and confused if this was a dream or not.

“Oh no deary how threatening.. Did you like those candies and dandelions I gave you?” Lj asked hopefully 

“No I fucking hated it! What is it that you want from us bitch” They said glaring at him if only looks can kill. He looked a bit hurt but proceeded 

“Now now I just wanted to make a deal and no you’re not on drugs. I’ve been watching you for a while and I've taken a great liking to you... I like how you take care of your brother and never abandon him. Let me stay here. I wont hurt him or you.” He smiled menacingly 

“What makes you fuking think I’ll believe you? Hell I could actually be dreaming or be dealing with a fuking devil” They said confidently. Poor y/n they really thought it's a dream. The fact that they think that this is all fake is giving them confidence. 

“If this was a dream you would let me rip your brother to shreds then hm?” Lj said in a bit of wonder, smiling very wildly, his sharp, big, and yellow teeth showing. 

“NO! Dont just..fuking hell. What if I deny?” They asked very unsettled. This might be a dream but they will still never let their brother get hurt or killed in any way.

“I’ll rip both of you to shre-” 

“Fine fine you can stay but if you harm a single strand of his hair or hurt him in any fucking way I’ll find a way to get rid of you” They stubled back a bit finally feeling the sensation in their body.

“Hmm will see about that” He grinned

“y/n! Lj! Let’s watch Clueless! I really want to see this one” He cheered coming back to the room, seeming not to notice what they were talking about. 

y/n who was still processing what's going on just nodded as they took the CD from Adam’s hand and loaded it in the CD player. y/n wanted to ask questions but was too afraid. They really hoped it was just a dream or get the balls to ask Lj who the fuck he is and what is he. Lj sat beside y/n making them flinch.

“Don’t be scared now i don't bite” He smirked

“Ye..yeh right” They said nervously and looked away from him