#oh no i think having basic common decency is good!! how horrible

[snekdood]

anyways yeah getting off on peoples death to the degree that some ppl do on here Is actually something that shouldnt be normalized. idc how much you hate me. if you disagree w this ig i should assume you do the same shit, idk.

[oureuphoria]

Worst of You - JJK 06

You meet him under horrible circumstances but everything feels perfect when you’re with him. Too bad you have a bitch of a best friend, anxiety and an inability to learn from your mistakes which cripples your chances to be with the man of your literal dreams. He, however, is a police officer with years worth of built-up turmoil and an inability to make attachments. Or “I’m not leaving until you tell me what’s wrong.” “Cool, I’ll let everyone know you’re moving in then.”

Genre: fluff, angst, comedy

Pairing: officer!jungkook X  collegestudent!reader

Word count: 2,295

Note: Shit’s starting to get WiLd. 

| 01 | 02 | 03 | 04 | 05 | 06 | 07 | 08 | 09 | 10 | 11 |

Unfortunately for you, the second you walked into your dorm room you were graced by the presence of a wild Jimin in his natural habitat, your couch. “Ooo, you’re back late? Were you on a date?” You ignored him and proceeding to take off your shoes, fighting the tempting urge to throw one at him. “Yes actually, I was.” You saw Alex slowly emerge from her room wearing nothing but his shirt and held back the desire to roll your eyes, it wasn’t long ago that she had been complaining about how much she hated Jimin and yet there she was. “Oh shit with who?” Jimin eagerly asked, he clearly didn’t believe someone like you could land a date and while he was right, you couldn’t let him know that.

“Your mom.” You usually were the bigger person, although with Jimin you couldn’t resist and frankly you didn’t care to try. Ever since high school your personalities had constantly clashed. He was one of the loud, rambunctious kids and you hated those kids with a passion, the type that would insult teachers for entertainment and pick on kids who couldn’t fight back. You considered it water under the bridge but your hatred for each other never really subsided. You speed-walked to your room before he could formulate a reply and you could hear Alex scoffing at your childishness but you didn’t care. And it felt liberating to not give a shit about what Alex thought. 

Meanwhile, Jungkook was at a bar trying to pry his newly discovered feelings for you away with a symbolic crowbar others referred to as alcohol. He had work the next day so while getting piss drunk was tempting, he needed to resist. He just wished that he would be able to resist you half as well as he could resist whiskey but you were all the more intoxicating and infinitely more addictive. You were kind, pure and entirely undamaged by the harsh realities of life. Jungkook hadn’t felt so carefree in a while and he didn’t want to get attached to the feeling either. “I’m sure you didn’t screw up that bad.” “She confessed to me, I kissed her and then I basically kicked her out of my car.” “What the fuck, Jeon? That’s bad, even for you.” He elbowed Mel gently at the statement but he understood where she was coming from, when it came to love Jungkook was no smarter than a brick.  “Well, she kissed me on the cheek before she left so I don’t think she was upset about it.” Mel gave Jungkook’s evidently empty head a sharp flick which had Jungkook rushing to soothe it. “What the fuck was that for?” “You basically just gave her a confirmation that you liked her back.” Jungkook simply shook his head and walked away. Denial was his safest option but his self control was deteriorating at a rate faster than he could manage. He just wished you’d give him the distance to truly get over you.

You woke up far too early for a Wednesday, your classes didn’t start until 11 and there was really no reason for you to be up anytime before 9 but Alex’s sobbing wasn’t subtle and if you weren’t sure she didn’t care, you would’ve thought she was trying to wake you up. 

You knocked lightly before poking your head in and true to your prior speculations, Alex was crying. “Hey, what’s wrong?” You sat next to her on the edge of her bed and allowed her to cry into your shoulder. You may have lost all your trust, respect and love for her but you still cared enough to stay. Either that or you were too scared to break things off. “Jimin and I broke up.” You tried not to chuckle. Her pain was in no way amusing to you (okay, maybe a little) but her unhealthy, on-again off-again relationship was mildly amusing to you. “I know you don’t want to hear this but I think this is better for you. I just hope you’re done for good this time.” She nodded in agreement but you knew she wasn’t going to listen.

Jungkook wasn’t very good at asking girls out, primarily because he never really had to. He hasn’t been on an actual date since he was with his last serious girlfriend 5 years ago and he only ever hooked up with girls while half-drunk since then. Therefore, Jungkook had no idea what he was doing standing outside of your dorm building at 6pm. He didn’t even ask if you were free. He pressed the buzzer for your dorm number and wasn’t really surprised when your roommate responded instead. “Hello, Y/N did you forget your key card again?” “Hi, I’m Jungkook. Y/N’s friend.” Alex frowned in confusion as she raked her memories for the familiar name. She tried to think of any rational reason as to why a man would be here for you. He must be that Jungkook. She let him in and waited for him to knock on the door. “Y/N isn’t here right now but she will be soon, she went out to grab some groceries. You’re welcome to wait for her inside?” Jungkook took her offer and sat tentatively on the couch, after all he didn’t want to impose. 

Alex was still an emotional train wreck from her break-up (which you weren’t allowed to know the details about) and opted to quietly sniffle on the other end of the couch. Jungkook tried to ignore it but he thought that if he were to establish a relationship with you, he should get along with your roommate. “Uhh, are you okay?” She nodded unconvincingly and every ounce of Jungkook’s being begged him to give up, but human decency suggested that the socially accepted protocol would be to ask again. “Are you sure?” And suddenly, like a dam that unexpectedly bursted, her sniffling turned to sobbing and she was crying on Jungkook’s shoulder. “Hey, hey, it’s okay. Whatever it is I’m sure it’ll work out.” Textbook advice that was in no way helpful, but it was all he could think of without knowing what she was even crying about. 

Alex looked up to face him through her heavy eyelashes. It might’ve been the heartbreak talking but he was the most beautiful man she had ever seen and all she could think about was kissing his gorgeous lips. She should’ve thought about you, she should’ve thought about him, she should’ve thought in general but she didn’t and just as she lunged forward, Jungkook had pushed her away and you had made your presence noticeable.

“Seriously Alex?” She was startled when she saw you standing at the door and she could feel the guilt settle in when she saw the tears in your eyes. “Y/N, I’m so s-.” “Save it.” You rolled your eyes before blinking the tears away and aggressively dropping the grocery bags onto your kitchen island. You tried to wipe away whatever was left of your tears before you turned around, you didn’t want her to think you were weak. “I didn’t-” Jungkook started, but you were quick to interrupt him. “Shut up Jungkook, it’s not you I’m mad at.”  While your tone was venomous, Jungkook was just grateful you weren’t mad at him although in that moment, he would’ve rather been anywhere else but in the middle of your catfight. 

“I get your upset but come on, look at him, you can’t seriously think you’re his type?” That was the exact moment you would’ve burst into tears if it wasn’t for Jungkook watching on the sidelines. You were going to keep your resolve together even if it were to kill you. “It doesn’t matter, good friends don’t kiss boys their friends like, Alex! It’s common sense.” “And what do you know about being a good friend?”

Pin-drop silence followed that question and the tension in the room had skyrocketed. You didn’t know what to say and neither did she. You could tell she felt guilty but Alex was never good at admitting her mistakes. “You’re right, what do I know?” You walked to your room and closed the door but the little sprint before you entered warned Jungkook that you were crying. He contemplated following you but he was worried you wanted space. Ultimately, the awkward silence Jungkook had to endure was more than enough motivation to power through his worries and knock on your door. 

“Give me a second.” Jungkook could hear the pain in your voice, the hiccup in your breath and the subtle sounds of excessive amounts of tissues being pulled. When you eventually opened the door, your face was tear-free and you wore an artificial smile on your face. You made room for him to come in and while he entered you muttered an apology. “I’m sorry you had to see that.” You didn’t want him to think you were pathetic or emotional so you kept the facade, you had been pushing aside your feelings for years, you could handle a few more minutes. “Just for the record, I didn’t want to kiss her.” You giggled at his attempt to lighten the mood, maybe it was too soon to laugh but something about it felt bitter.

“I know, honestly we fight like this all the time - it’s not a big deal.” That was a lie and Jungkook could tell which was why he pulled you in for a comforting hug where he whispered, “it’s okay to cry, Y/N, I can tell you want to.” You cried and with every passing second you cried harder. You knew that things would never be the same, they were never going to after that godforsaken party that you never should’ve gone to but it still felt nice. It felt nice to have a shoulder to cry on, someone to turn to that at least seemed like they cared.

Time passed before you stopped crying and you honestly didn’t know how much although the slight ache after pulling away from the hug was an indicator that it had been a while. “Oh no! I’m sorry I got your shirt wet.” You grabbed another excessive set of tissues to try and dry it, genuine guilt on your face. “It’s fine, Y/N. I never liked this shirt anyway.” You smiled and Jungkook’s heart softened at the way your eyes smiled with you. You needed a distraction and like a 13-year-old, all he could think of was to ask you out to a movie. 

“Can we watch the new Bad Boys movie? I heard Vanessa Hudgens is in it and I can’t wait to make high school musical jokes.” Jungkook chuckled at your joke until he realised you weren’t kidding. “Bad Boys, Y/N seriously? You’re making me watch a cop movie?” “It’s either that or Frozen 2. Your choice.” He sighed and shook his head jokingly before approaching the kiosk to buy the tickets. You wanted to repay him for paying for dinner so you had sneakily paid while Jungkook was reaching for his wallet. Despite the fact that the tickets cost a fraction of the price he paid at the restaurant, Jungkook was still upset and gave you an extensive lecture on why you should never do that again. 

“Hey, isn’t funny how you and Will Smith are both cops that drive expensive Porsches?” “You know, the movie was actually based on my life.” You gave him a skeptical look to which he shrugged. Jungkook would never tell you but he hated every second of it and found himself enjoying your reactions more than the actual film. He knew he was in trouble, knee-deep in it actually, but looking at you so happy made him realise he didn’t mind. 

The walk to the car was short and by the time you got there, you had already exhausted all of the jokes you could possibly think of about the movie. “Jungkook?” He hummed to let you know that he was listening while he started the engine, this time he knew what was coming and he had already prepared an answer. “I never really got an answer to my question form last week and I just…” You completely lost your train of thought and Jungkook smiled at how nervous you were. He thought he had already made it very clear but Jungkook was infamously bad at expressing his emotions so he didn’t mind voicing it. “Yes, Y/N, I like you too.” You tried to hide your relief and bit back the smile that was growing on your lips. You simply cleared your throat and mustered out a quiet, “cool.” 

The second you arrived at your dorm, you unbuckled your seatbelt and tried to rush out of the car before things would escalate but Jungkook pulled the door shut. “Not even a thanks?” You pouted and gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’m sorry, thank you.” You tried to leave again but his hand didn’t budge. You turned to face him and his face had inched a lot closer, your lips almost touching. He was leaning closer and you were subconsciously leaning in too but the second you had realised, you pulled back abruptly before your lips could touch and hit your head on the car roof. “Ouch…” You rubbed your head and Jungkook chuckled as he returned to his original position.

“Y/N, if you don’t want to kiss me you can just say so, I don’t mind.” You could feel the panic settling in. You wanted to kiss him, really, really, badly but you were afraid that your lack of experience would ruin everything. “I do want to kiss you! It’s just…I’m not very good at it.” You very quietly mumbled that last part but Jungkook still heard and squeezed your face in one of his hands. “Baby, it’s not a big deal, you’ll get better with practice I promise.” You couldn’t reply with your cheeks squished together. “Can we try that again?” “No injuries this time?” You groaned and covered your face with your hands from embarrassment but Jungkook was quick to apologise and pull your hands away. 

Once his lips were on yours, you’d forgotten about everything else. He did most of the work but you’d like to think that you contributed a little. Eventually, it just felt natural and you didn’t really want to stop. Unfortunately, you needed oxygen and when you pulled away breathless, Jungkook chuckled. “We need to work on your stamina. Wanna try again?” You giggled at his lame attempt at tricking you but you kissed him again nonetheless, this time more prepared. You could feel Jungkook lean back and his hand on your cheek subtly dragged you with him. When your hand fell onto his upper thigh for balance, Jungkook knew he’d need to stop, worried he might scare you with his oncoming boner. 

“You should go up now, it’s getting late.” You pouted, upset at the fact that you couldn’t kiss him for longer. “Are you sure? I think I need more practice.” You kissed him again but he kept it short, giving you a few more pecks before pinching your cheek. “I’ll see you again soon and then I promise you infinite kisses, okay?” You nodded and waved him whispering a small goodnight as you left the care. There was no way to deny that Jungkook had feelings for you, but in that moment, he couldn’t bring himself to care. 

The second you got into your room, you fell face-first onto the bed, grabbed the nearest pillow and squealed like a teenage girl. When you had eventually stopped, you got ready for bed in an attempt to push Jungkook to the back of your mind. If you were going to get any semblance of sleep, you’d need to do it now before the feeling of his lips consumed you entirely. 

[rockshortage]

*Cracks knuckles* Ow. Let's see, how about: A6, 16. B1, 12. C1, 2, 3, 5, 8. D4. E2, 3, 7. F2, 5, 10, 12 (Sorry, but also not sorry) I6. L1, 2, 4, and 9 :)

hoo boy that took a while

A6) Does your OC tend to assume their interpretation of events and reality is correct, or do they question it? I.e., “I’m sure that’s what you said” versus “It’s possible I misheard you.”

Ah, he questions himself a lot. Maybe he wasn’t listening well enough because he was too distracted by being anxious? Maybe he misinterpreted this event, because his background knowledge on it was lacking, he doesn’t know the full story and opinions from all sides, he’s not sure he can form a well educated opinion on this--

A16) Does your OC have to go through their own trials to learn a lesson, or do they listen and learn from observation and lecture? I.e., does your OC listen when someone tries to tell them the importance of budgeting, or do they have to go experience what happens if you don’t budget first?

Hector needs to do it himself for Science, because how else is he to truly know, if not from his own personal experience? Trusting what people tell you is good and all but gathering data yourself is better.

Unless we’re talking about raider politics, in which case there’s not really a good way for Hector to gather data without seriously endangering him and friends, so he’ll just listen to Gage.

B1) Do they believe you have to give respect to get it, or get respect to give it?

Generally, he believes it’s necessary to give people respect before you can expect it in return. He learns that many people do not in fact think the same way. He’ll still want to extend basic courtesy to them even if they’re assholes, unless they disrespect/piss him off to the extremes, or if their actions threaten his position and in turn the well-being of himself and friends.

B12) Your OC orders something to eat and gets their order done in a pretty wrong way, something they can’t just pick off or whatnot to correct, or something major is missing. What do they do?

Have a back and forth about it in his head – ah it’s not so bad it’s still fine, but then again he really wanted it differently… but he doesn’t wanna bother them and be entitled about it, but man… :( Might get close to pointing it out but chances are slim that he’ll actually get someone to correct the order. It’ll be disappointing but he’ll eat it.  

C1) Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

Eeeh, not a super strong one. His baseline are general societal morals and norms, like… help person good, kill person bad. Most of the time he’ll base his actions on what feels right for him and for his friends. He’ll consider: will doing this make me feel bad afterwards? Will it have a negative impact on other people, who don’t deserve it? Is that consequence worth it because it saves my own skin or helps/protects my friends?

C2) Would your OC feel bad if they acted against their morals? If not, would they find a way to excuse themselves for it?

Bringing back the point about sacrificing for the greater good. He’d consider that the morally right thing to do because it impacts fewer people negatively. But making that sacrifice endangers his friends, whose lives for him personally are worth much more than an abstract crowd of people. So he chooses to not do the thing for the greater good and save his friends instead, and yes, he would feel very bad on the one hand, because oh boy. As far as most people are concerned, he did a horrible terrible thing and was extremely selfish and absolutely chose wrong. But on the plus side, and that’s a very big huge plus- he still has his friends. And still having his friends makes him feel less bad than how he would have felt if he didn’t have his friends anymore.

So uh… yes and no.

C3) Is it important for them to be with people (socially, intimately, whatever) whose major ideological tenets align with their own?

More or less. He can’t hang out well with people he completely disagrees with in every way, of course that’s not going to work. But Hector is… how to say… kinda boring when it comes to ideals and opinions and all that stuff. He just doesn’t have very strong ones in general. Which can make him a little bland and potentially spineless, but also pretty agreeable. As long as they don’t constantly shove their great big opinions in his face, they’ll get along well enough.

C5) Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

I think I kind of answered this in C2. Basic morals do get thrown out the window if friends are threatened, or if he gets pissed off enough. He’d have to be really pissed off though. As well as being post having-grown-a-spine(-at-least-partially). Hurting people bad but being insufferable to Hector also bad so guess what fucker

C8) Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?

Again a little tricky because I’m having trouble coming up with a scenario that would help me make up my mind with a definite answer. I’m leaning more towards a practical approach 1) because Hector is more of a realist/pessimist in general, 2) he doesn’t want to like… be overly demanding

D4) Would they like to be immortal? Why, why not? If they are immortal, would they rather not be?

The more he thinks about it the more meaningless life seems to get for someone like him. Solution: don’t think about it! Repress that shit because it’s not like you can do anything about it anyway. Also an involuntary solution but one that helps nonetheless: have shit memory so that you don’t feel like you’ve lived too many lifetimes.

If you were to ask him, the answer you get completely depends on the headspace he’s in at the moment. If he’s just vibing, going about his day and things are going well then yeah! Immortality isn’t so bad. If you catch him on an off day, things aren’t going so well, maybe he just thought about having to deal with losing his friends eventually… then you obviously get the opposite answer.

E2) Which of the nine types of intelligence is your OC strongest in? Weakest? (Linguistic, existential, naturalist, et cetera)

I know I talked about this before and I grouped them from strong to medium to weak but I can’t for the life of me find the post anymore (thanks tumblr for your useless garbage search and tagging features). So I can’t even check if I’m still on the same wavelength with past me :v

From strongest to weakest we have…

Logical-mathematical

Spatial

Linguistic

Bodily-kinesthetic

Musical

Naturalist

Interpersonal

Existential

Intrapersonal

E3) How many languages do they speak?

Three… and a half.

The half language being Swiss German, because I don’t know what the fuck it is even after graduating from language uni

The others: Standard German, English, and French, from strongest to weakest.

E7) Are they a good note-taker? Are they a good test-taker? Do exams make them nervous?

Yes, yes, and yes. He’s very good at taking notes considering most of science is documentation. And even now when he’s not doing a lot of Formal Science things, he still writes in his journal almost daily, summing up events and making notes of important things. He gets nervous with tests with all the self doubt if he really prepared well enough and the unpredictability of the questions that will be asked, but once the pen is in his hand, he just blazes through it.

F2) What’s their ideal home look like? Where is it?

Someplace underground, safe and sturdy like a vault. Industrial aesthetic is welcome and he wants to have plenty of space, but it shouldn’t feel huge and empty. Needs to be homey, even if it might feel a little rustic to the average person. Having it built into a mountain would be sick, so he still has the perfect protection from the sun, but he doesn’t have to crawl out of a hole in the ground like some kind of worm – instead he opens the door and gets the most amazing view immediately.

… and I promise, only after writing the above did I remember that he pretty much lives in a mountain already, just a plastic one. Close enough.

F5) How handy are they? Can they fix appliances, cars, cabinets, et cetera?

Quite handy indeed. He can fix most things, he usually just needs some time to (re-)familiarize himself with the object and its functions. A lot of it also involves trial and error, but he’ll figure it out eventually.

F10) Do they engage in any of the arts? How good do you intend them to be? Would they agree they are?

He’d actually be really good at pen/pencil drawing, what with making technical illustrations and blueprints of Science Stuff, but it’s not a skill that’s applied in an artsy setting. When the goal is to draw for the sake of drawing, evoking emotion, or paint with a brush, that’s probably when shit would fall apart. I can’t remember who the artist was, but it reminds me of this little comic about Paladin Danse – in which he’s extremely good at technical drawings but then he attempts to draw a dog and it just looks…wrong.

Now with music, he’s more likely to engage in it in an artful way. He likes to sing, even if he very rarely does it now that he has people around him more often than not. Before, he’d just be alone in his lonely place and sing and scream to his heart’s content, but now he’s too awkward to do it, because someone might hear him. He is pretty good at it though, considering how much alone time he’s had to practice.

F12) Would they enjoy a theme park?

The rides and junk food? Yes absolutely. But the giant crowd and every little consequence it entails, nope, no thank you, he’ll just leave it be.

You bet he’s gonna go on the rides at nuka world though once they got them back up and working, because the crowd isn’t as big as pre-war and he’s the fucking overboss and can skip lines and restrict access to others however he damn pleases.

I6) Could they eat the same thing they enjoy over and over and not get bored of it quickly?

He can, but that doesn’t mean he enjoys it. The first month or so at nuka world he almost exclusively lives off of some shitty nutrient bars. In some scenarios, food just exists as sustenance and not as something to be enjoyed.

In a preferable scenario though, it is to be enjoyed. And I think while he would get bored of it after a while, it’d take longer than for the average person. And even then, he’s just happy he can eat something enjoyable at whatever pace he likes instead of having to scarf down Compressed Nutrient

L1) How have your characters changed since you created them?

He stopped existing in a void, which is a pretty damn big change. Now he has a whole world and other characters to interact with, that contribute to shaping and developing his personality.

L2) What do you consider the biggest themes in your character, if any?

Oof, this is hard. Maybe… getting to know yourself? Accepting change, personal growth?

L4) Would you hang out with your OC if you could?

I’m actually not sure sjdfsdnsv

Like yes he is sweet bean who must be protected, but that doesn’t change the fact that he is a weird little old man. I guess if we can just chill listening to music and he can go off about crustaceans or something and we speak The Horrible Language, why the fuck not

L9) How did you come up with your OC?

Masks cool. Me especially like gas masks. Unhinged science characters also cool. Make generic but still sliiiightly unique design and make it a point to not have him be a young pretty boy character despite having immortality. Add lots of weaknesses to compensate for the immortality. Add science personality things and complete the picture with projections of my own personality. Boom, you’ve got yourself the beginnings of a Hector

[dearlazerbunny]

Lie to Me (Ch. 13 of 28)

Pairings: Loki x Reader

Genre/Ratings: M eventually (aiming for a slow burn here); warnings for kidnapping and subsequent anxiety/PTSD (will be marked before every chapter)

Words: 1900

Summary: If you had to guess what the captured, traitor, trickster god Loki Laufeyson wanted or needed at this moment, a babysitter would be far, far down on the list. (Set after the events of Avengers 1.)

SHOUTOUT TO @molmcb and @jessiejunebug, whom I have now kidnapped and am holding hostage in my bedroom so they can be my full-time cheerleaders

Requested Tags: @deraniel, @iamverity,  @yasnooshka24, @wegingerangelica, @themusingsofmany, @dark-night-sky-99, @tarynkauai, @stuffandstuff-stuff, @angelicshinigami, @my-current-fandom-is, @geekysimmerthings

Walking into Loki’s cell the next day is… difficult. The screams you threw at him are still echoing in your ears, the alcohol (or sudden lack of) is still making your brain sluggish, and your head hurts from all the crying you did late in the night. You’re dreading his glare; the icy tone of his voice. Did you just undo months of friendship in one day? You very well might’ve. He trusted you with his fears and struggles about Thor and you threw it back in his face for what? Some sort of twisted reassurance that your life was worse than his at that moment? Horrible.

There are so many apologies lingering on your tongue you feel choked with them, and there’s a terrible tightness in your limbs. The feeling intensifies when you walk in and he’s got that awful blank look in his eyes just like he did when you first met him. It scares you to no end; thinking you might’ve lost him.

“Hey.”

His gaze does shift your way as you approach, thank god. You open your mouth to pour out your apologies, but nothing comes out. Useless. In a fit of anxiety, your fingertips end up brushing the wall of glass in front of you. There’s still a smudge on it from where you smacked it the day before. Ugh. Rather than try and put what you’re feeling into words, you let your forehead bang against the glass, eyes on your feet. “I’m a terrible person.” Your face scrunches in effort to hold back an unexpected wave of emotion. “I-”

“Tell me about him.”

“Huh?” His tone is still cool- a little more reserved- but you know an olive branch when you see one.

“Your brother. Tell me about him.”

“O-okay.” Where to start? Your indecisiveness wiggles its way out through your fingers, and they flex against the glass. “Well. He was super smart, first of all. The type of person who could walk into a room and instantly see all the connections: who was with who, who would stab the other in the back before the month was up, who was nervous or who was too cocky for their own good. He read people… flawlessly.”

You tilt your head a little, letting memories bubble up in your mind. “I idolized him as a kid. He was everything I wanted to be. He got all my parents’ attention, and I knew that, but I basically didn’t mind because he deserved to be the favorite, that’s how awesome he was. Does that make any sense?”

“What changed?”

You sigh, and the sadness in it almost cracks your chest open. “Kids… see what they want to see. They want to believe their brothers are their own personal knights in shining armor. That they can do no wrong. I lived in that denial for… well. Way too long.”

“My parents played a part in that, I think. They tried to hide the worst of it from me. If he was gone for three days and I asked where he was, they’d say he was just staying with a friend. When he came home high or drunk he had the flu or food poisoning, and I had to stay away from him because he might be contagious. I think deep down I knew something was wrong, but I just ignored it. I loved him, I loved them. I walked on eggshells because I didn’t want anything to shatter this illusion we had built.”

You’re suddenly exhausted. Opening up these boxes, ones that are usually duct taped tightly shut and squeezed into some deep dark crevice if your brain, always weighs on your shoulders. Rather than going back to your chair you just sit down on the floor, letting yourself lean against the glass.

“One night, when I was- fifteen, maybe? I’d just started high school, I think. A bunch of his friends had come over to hang out and he invited me to join them.” You pause, swallowing a bit of nausea. “I was so excited to be hanging out with all his cool friends. They gave me drinks, told me I was pretty, made me feel so grown up and important. But I started feeling… weird, after a few hours, so I wanted to go to bed, but they made me stay. I remember sitting on the couch and just… spacing. Staring at the wall while everyone talked around me. It took me forever to notice the hand on my leg.”

You can physically feel the intensity of Loki’s gaze ratchet up to twenty. When you look at him, his green eyes are sparkling dangerously. He knows where this is going. You wish he didn’t.

“It turns out one of his friends had a bit of a crush on me. He started, you know. Rubbing my leg, tucking my hair behind my ear. I was zoned out but enough of me was there to realize something was… not good. Zach-” saying his name makes your heart sink a little- “Zach was on the other side of the room, but when I finally got his attention, he-” you close your eyes, like the scene is playing out right in front of you and you can’t bear to watch. “He just looked at me with this total… indifference, and he said, oh, he already paid, so. He can do whatever he wants. And he went right back to his beer.”

It’s been ten years since that night and you can still remember how the adrenaline set in, how it pushed through your body like lightning when you smacked the guy’s hand away from your bra and he looked at you with murderous eyes. “I was lucky that I’d only had one cup of- whatever they gave me. I was still mostly in my right mind. I said no, and the guy got mad and started screaming about how many grams of ketamine he traded for this, then went to confront Zach about it. This huge fight started- I don’t remember most of it. I’m pretty sure I was comatose by the time punches were thrown, but luckily everyone was too occupied to notice. One of the neighbors called the police, they broke the door down and arrested everyone, and they found fifteen year old me drugged up on the couch, talking in circles like I didn’t have a care in the world.”

Waking up in a hospital bed, remembering nothing, was terrifying. Having the memories come back one by one, at the police’s gentle prompting, was even more so. “I’m still not sure what they roofied me with. The nurses never told me. But I was in the hospital for a day or so.”

Some sort of self-deprecating, bitter laugh escapes you. “So yeah. My brother sold me for drugs, I guess. That was a fun one to handle at fifteen.”

“And he is dead?”

“What, planning on reviving him so you can kill him again? I’ll help.” That does soften Loki’s expression just a fraction. “Yeah, he was high and drunk on god knows what and decided to go out to some party. Ran a red light, took out a couple of cars with his own. The storm didn’t help much I’m sure.” Your fingernails dig into your palms, leaving crescent moons on your skin. “He dragged so many people down with him that day. Good people. People who didn’t deserve it. If he had just taken himself out I don’t think anybody would have cried, but- I guess he had a penchant for ruining lives up until the very end.”

“He deserves far worse than he received.” There is unrestrained rage in Loki’s voice, a fiery sort of protectiveness that would be scary if it wasn’t protectiveness over you.

“Easy, Trickster. He’s long gone. Though I’m inclined to agree.” You knot your fingers together. “I know it doesn’t excuse anything about what happened yesterday. I was- terrible. But I was just so jealous. You have a brother who would do anything for you, who loves you and cares about you, and- that’s something I’ve wanted for so long. I know your relationship with Thor is far from perfect, and you have absolutely every right to feel the way you do. I just think you’re blind to what you have, sometimes.”

Loki doesn’t say anything for a long time, and neither do you. Your words hang in the air between the pair of you, tugging on the rough edges of both your minds, wanting resolution. To your surprise, he gets up off his cot and comes to sit in front of you, mirroring your cross-legged pose so that you’re face to face. It’s nice, if you try to forget there’s layers of reinforced barrier separating you. Absentmindedly, your subconscious paints a scene where you and he are sitting, talking, laughing- somewhere comfortable, somewhere there’s no pressure, where you could take his hand and let his thumb smooth over the scars on your palm.

“Gods are not impervious to mortal plights. We love, we war, we hate, we hold petty feuds and retaliate against the ones we love. We are not always things to be worshipped or revered- quite the opposite; I believe many of your myths regarding us are what you mortals call cautionary tales.”

You raise an eyebrow. “I’m sorry, am I in the midst of hearing the one and only Loki Laufeyson admit that he’s not perfect? Should I be recording this?”

“Hush, Witling, I am trying to help. My point is, if even the gods are not perfect, you cannot expect yourself to be.” Loki taps on the glass right where your heart is. “There are no apologies necessary. I have endured far worse by the hands of people who would never think to be remorseful for their actions.”

You frown. “That doesn’t make it okay. You still deserve common decency.”

“You were hurting, badly. My only complaint is that I was not able to be of more use.”

“I don’t know, you made a pretty good verbal punching bag.”

You’re treated to an exquisite eye roll, but it’s balanced by the fond smile on his face. “Yes, well, do try to not make it a large habit, darling. I am quite fragile, you know.”

“Fragile my ass. According to field reports you got ground-pounded by the Hulk multiple times and walked away with a bruise.”

“A very unpleasant bruise! Have you no sympathy?”

You wrinkle your nose at him. “Shoulda thought about that before you angered the jolly green giant.”

“I beg your pardon, absolutely nothing about him was jolly.”

You have to giggle at the miffed expression on his face. “It’s an expression, Trickster. And it’s not my fault you have no self preservation skills.”

“And here I thought you were on my side.”

He says it jokingly, but something about his words tugs at you the wrong way. “I am on your side.”

Loki stops and looks you in the eyes, startled by your sudden sincerity. “There is no need to throw your lot in with the enemy. Mine is not the team you wish to be on.”

“Agree to disagree, I suppose.”

He looks at you for a long moment, gaze digging into your head to seek out all the little things you aren’t saying. But eventually he just nods, conceding. “I suppose we shall.”

A/N: Happy Thursday! Apparently I missed national fanfic/fanfic author’s day, so here’s a belated celebration :D

[illbeyourreasonwhy]

So Much I Think It Must Be...

Chapter 2 of my Ambi Enemies to Friends to Lovers fic!! You can read it on ao3 here

Hope you like it!

*

Andi grinned and raced across the street, pausing to tap on her friend’s shoulder.

“Hey, TJ. Want to help me get back at Amber?”

TJ only raised an eyebrow. “Not particularly, no.”

Andi pouted. “Come on, please?”

“What is it even for, this time?”

“To make up for the laser tag disaster yesterday.”

“Wasn’t that both your faults?”

“Yeah, but she started it.”

I see.” They reached Cyrus’ house and TJ rang the doorbell, looking at her with barely concealed amusement. “If, and I mean if, I say yes, what do you want me to do?”

Andi grinned. “Just distract her while I take her bag.”

He raised an eyebrow. “You’re nicking her stuff again?”

“Borrowing,” Andi corrected. It was true that it had become common for some of Amber’s things to go missing, but they were always returned eventually. It wasn’t about stealing, it was about how crazy it drove Amber.

TJ opened his mouth, looking like he was about to say something, then shook his head, apparently deciding it wasn’t worth voicing. “Okay, so you just want me to talk to her?”

“Yes, I’ll take care of the rest.”

The front door opened, revealing Buffy and Cyrus, who frowned. “What rest?”

“None of your concern,” Andi said, and Cyrus sighed, looking at TJ.

“Don’t tell me you’re helping her pull a prank on Amber again.”

How did you –” TJ shook his head. “Well, for the record, I haven’t said yes yet.”

Andi huffed. “Fine, I’ll do it myself.” Now that Cyrus was here, there was no way she was going to be able to convince TJ to help out.

Cyrus glanced at her warily. “What are you going to do?”

“Nothing.” He gave her a look, and she rolled her eyes. “Don’t worry, I’m not going to dye her hair pink again.”

“That was a fun day,” Buffy commented, moving aside to let them in.

The gang had decided that they were all going to hang out at Cyrus’ for the afternoon, but it appeared that they were the only four to be there yet. “Amber is working late,” Cyrus said, reading her mind. “The others must be on their way. Do you want to watch me crush Buffy at table tennis?”

“You are not crushing me.”

TJ shot Andi a look. “I’ve got to see this.”

Before long, the rest of their friends had arrived, and everyone was having a good time. TJ, Marty and Jonah were daring each other to stuff as many marshmallows in their mouths as they could; Buffy was attempting, again, to beat Cyrus at table tennis, and Amber and Iris were talking on the couch, watching as Jonah gagged on his ninth marshmallow.

Which meant that there was nobody looking as Andi caught sight of Amber’s water bottle abandoned on the kitchen table.

It was unmistakably Amber’s; if the bright pink colour wasn’t enough for Andi to recognise it, the block AMBER written in obnoxiously big letters across the front was a dead giveaway.

Andi glanced around quickly, saw that no one was paying her attention, and grabbed the bottle.

A few minutes later she rushed over to TJ, a wicked smile on her face. He raised an eyebrow as soon as he saw her.

“I switched Amber’s water with apple juice,” she told him gleefully.

TJ stared. “Okay?”

"She hates apple juice. It’s going to be hilarious.”

TJ opened his mouth, but before he could say anything Andi nudged him excitedly and pointed over to Amber, who was reaching for her bottle. She took a sip, froze, and rushed over to the sink to spit it out.

“Andi!”

“Yeah?”

Amber glared at her, wiping her mouth, and dunked the rest of her bottle’s contents out before rinsing it.

"What a waste of apple juice,” Jonah commented sadly.

“Nah, I only put enough for one sip,” Andi reassured him. “And it was totally worth it.”

Amber glared at her. “You’re dead.”

“Really? That’s odd, I could have sworn I was still standing here.”

She pointed a finger at her, pursing her lips. “You’re going to regret this. I’m not sure how yet, but I’ll think of something.”

Andi rolled her eyes. “Come on, it’s just a bit of fun.”

“Yeah, like how spraying your white shirt with red paint was fun,” Amber reminisced.

“That stain still hasn’t come out,” Andi said sharply. “You owe me a new shirt.”

“You owe me a bottle of shampoo.”

“That was a year ago, get over it.”

“Okay, okay,” Cyrus cut in. “We get it. Loads of fun. How about we eat the cookies TJ made now?”

With a final withering look, Amber turned away from Andi and followed Cyrus to the living room.

TJ raised an eyebrow. “I guess you didn’t need my help.”

Andi couldn’t help a satisfied smile. “I guess not.” TJ nudged her and she grabbed his arm to pull him along. “Come on, let’s go eat your cookies.”

*

“Hey, Andi!”

Andi looked up. Jonah was sitting on a bench across the street from her, waving her over. “Hey,” she smiled. “What’s up?”

“Guess who I was just on the phone with?” he asked excitedly. “Natalie!”

Andi looked between his phone and him warily. “Your ex Natalie?”

“Yeah, she’s coming over to Shadyside for the summer! Isn’t that great?”

Andi wasn’t sure great was the word she would have used, but she mustered a smile. Natalie and Jonah had dated right after he and Andi had broken up, but they hadn’t lasted long, deciding that they worked better as friends in the end. Even so, she had never been able to shake the weird feeling she got when it came to Natalie, like she had one-upped her or something.

“That’s nice,” she said anyways. “You must be excited to see her again.”

Natalie had moved away a year ago, but they had stayed in touch. Jonah nodded, beaming. “Her family is staying in California, so she’s going to be hopping from friend’s house to friend’s house, apparently. I’d offer, but since I’m leaving two days after she arrives…” His eyes brightened. “Hey, Andi, why not have her stay with you? You’re staying here during the whole holidays, right?”

“Yeah.” Andi grimaced. It figured that the only two people in their friend group who wouldn’t be going anywhere would be her and Amber. “We don’t have an extra room, though.”

“Ah, too bad. Well, I’m sure she’ll find something.”

Andi offered him a smile, a little bemused that he had even thought of her in the first place what with her weird history with Natalie. Natalie had been the reason she and Jonah had broken up; Andi had kept being paranoid about Jonah having a better connection with the other girl than with her.

That was all in the past, though. And Jonah had really missed her, so she smiled at him again, deciding that she was going to be happy for her friend no matter what.

“I should go,” she said. “I was going to go paint at the park.”

Jonah, if it were possible, brightened even more. “Oh, have fun! Can I see it when you’re done?”

“Yeah, of course,” she grinned. “I’ll see you later.”

“See you!”

“Am I dreaming, or is that Andi Mack I see?”

Andi looked up from her painting to find a familiar face smiling at her.

“Walker!”

He grinned at her; there was an awkward moment where they simply looked at each other before he wrapped an arm around her and she smiled, hugging him back.

“What’s it been, a year?”

“I think so. How are you?”

“Good, good,” Walker smiled. “Wait, did you paint this?”

She glanced at the painting she was working on, suddenly a little bashful. “It’s a work in progress.”

“It’s really good.” He smiled at her. “Hey, I actually have to paint a mural next week, do you want to help? For old time’s sake?”

She smiled. “That sounds –”

“Andi, your mother needs you at her store.”

Andi turned, her smile dimming. “Amber.”

Amber raised an eyebrow, seeming as pleased to see her as she was.

Walker looked between the two of them, oblivious. “Oh, you’re Amber! I’ve heard so much about you.”

Amber glanced between the two of them. “Hopefully not from her.”

“So the feud is real.”

“Unfortunately,” Andi answered, turning to Amber. “Why did my mom tell you she needs to see me?”

“I had an appointment, so she asked when I left. She told me you’d be here.” She crossed her arms. “I trust you’ll find your way there.”

“Wow, so nice to see you too, Amber.”

Walker was still looking between the two of them. “Wow, you two really don’t like each other, huh?”

“Not really, no.”

“What happened?”

Andi frowned. “What do you mean?”

“This.” He gestured between the two girls. “How did it start?”

Andi sighed. “I don’t know, it’s always been like this. That’s just how it is.”

“Yeah,” Amber scoffed, “trust me, there’s nothing you can do about it.”

Walker didn’t look convinced. “Okay, but… it had to start somewhere, right?”

Andi and Amber glanced at each other, neither saying anything as they shared a measured look. Finally Amber looked away, glaring at nothing in particular. “She started dating my ex-boyfriend the day after he dumped me.”

Walker blinked. That apparently hadn’t been what he was expecting. “Oh. Okay.”

Andi huffed, outraged. “That’s nothing, she abandoned me at the top of a Ferris wheel in the middle of the night!”

“What? Yeah, that’s… pretty bad.”

“Yeah, okay, that was shitty of me,” Amber rolled her eyes, “but you’re still the one who started it.”

Andi threw her hands in the air. “You didn’t even like Jonah!”

“That’s not the point! You don’t go out with a guy a day after he broke up with his girlfriend, that’s basic decency!”

“Woah,” Walker said, tentatively stepping in between them.

If his attempt had been to calm them down, it was thoroughly unsuccessful. Both Amber and Andi looked like they were getting angrier by the second, their voices raising with each word.

“What you did was way worse! I got arrested!”

“You did?” Walker asked, bewildered.

“Oh please, you didn’t even spend the whole night in jail.”

“That’s a standard for you?” Walker was starting to look concerned.

“Either way, I am not the one who started it, you were horrible to me long before I started dating Jonah.”

“Because I could tell you were after him!”

“Okaaaay…” Walker physically pushed them slightly away from each other. “Clearly you were both in the wrong. But this was… two years ago, right? And you’re both over Jonah, so why are you still fighting now?”

Andi gave him a look. “Did you miss the part where she abandoned me on a Ferris wheel?”

“Oh for goodness’ sake, I was going to come back for you.”

“Oh, really? Was that before or after my parents had to bail me out of jail?”

Amber rolled her eyes. “They didn’t actually bail you out, they just had to pick you up and bring you home.”

Walker spoke up before this could turn into another argument. “Okay, so this is what this is? A two-year-old grudge from a prank gone wrong?”

“'Prank gone wrong’ is one way to put it,” Andi said, raising her eyebrows.

“Besides, are you saying we shouldn’t be holding grudges against each other? In case you missed the last five minutes, there’s a bit of a history between us.”

“Yeah,” Walker agreed. “History. I don’t get why it’s lasted so long, especially since your friends are all okay with each other.”

“Why do you care?” Andi asked, starting to get annoyed.

“I’m just trying to understand,” he answered, even though he looked like he was starting to regret ever asking in the first place.

“Are you trying to therapize us?” Amber asked, sounding almost insulted. “Because Cyrus already gave it a go, so don’t bother.”

“Noted,” Walker nodded. “I’ll let you hate each other in peace.”

“How kind of you.” Amber shouldered her bag. “Well, that was enough to fill my Andi-quota of the day, so I’m going to go.”

Andi crossed her arms. “Don’t let me keep you.”

“Always a pleasure, Andi.”

Andi didn’t uncross her arms until Amber was out of view, before turning back to Walker, who looked at loss for what to say.

“So… Mural? Next week?”

[janiedean]

I'm honestly surprised someone as pro-good guys as you ships Reylo. Not in a judgy way but it just seems like the type of ship that wouldn't be your thing

(this is also for the other anon who wanted to know why I would ship it from like two days ago sorry guys I couldn’t handle TWO wanks in one night)

tldr: that’s because reylo is... not really not my thing? I mean, first I’ll go and refer you to go on my tagged kylo ren posts for more extensive meta about why and how I don’t think kylo is a villain *and* that he’s pretty much built for being redeemed. other than that, given that you have at least read the redemption post:

premise: I had absolutely zero interest in reylo before tlj, like zero, couldn’t care less;

but like the thing is, I never really felt that kylo was a villain - tbh I always was like ‘kid you’re waaaaaay over your head quit with the anakin worship and take a vacation somewhere without the force’ but in tfa I... really didn’t feel his character either way and tbh he’s still not my kind of character in general - I mean he has traits in common with other ppl I like in other fandoms but he’s technically not the kind of character I go crazy about, and tbh I couldn’t even be angry that he killed han because it was obvious it was going to haunt him and han was willing to go to his death for him, so... whatever, I go like, see you next episode;

except that then tlj happened and tbh I thought he was written immensely better/fleshed out way more and like, guys, being very real: watching tlj the only impression of kylo ren that I could have was ‘christ this guy has issues, needs help right the fuck now and possibly for someone to drag him out of the damned cult he’s found himself in CHRIST GET SNOKE AWAY FROM HIM’ and honest I argued about it before but the guy has all the abuse victim cred in spades and while he’s not what tumblr would call A Good Victim he’s also obviously in desperate need of someone to show him some basic decency and tell him nice things without judging him first and like guys honestly I can’t hate someone like that especially when I know they’ve been basically manipulated into a situation because of an extremely fragile psychological state;

and like... the thing is: rey does.. just that? I mean, rey’s the person who a) shows him some basic empathy after she realizes there’s more to him than she had thought, b) believes him for that matter, c) doesn’t want him to be darth vader 2.0 or whatever he thought he couldn’t live up to with his parents, d) shows him some shred of decency, e) tells him there’s someone who gives a shit about *ben solo* and not darth vader or skywalker 2.0 and like.... that’s... a very... surprisingly wholesome thing? I mean guys let’s be real I’m into sw like woah because sw is about redemption and seeing good in mostly everyone (not the snokes or palpatines but you feel me) and that’s just... following that reasoning? as I argued before, kylo is obviously being set up for redemption, there’s no way the last living skywalker who also has been set up as the one sympathetic villain (I mean guys whatever but phasma and hux are Not It) gets at the end of ix without going back to the light;

tbh I went down hard on the reylo trashcan when tlj went like OH HEY HERE YOU HAVE ENDLESS REDEMPTIVE HC POTENTIALS FOR YOU, because in tfa it wasn’t so obvious to me but in tlj it was pretty much obvious and.. honestly guys, it’s my typical enemies to lovers thing. they started literally fighting, they got to know each other and gotten better through it and learned from each other, she saw potential good in him and went herself to get him from snoke like guys......, he killed his abuser so that she wouldn’t die, they had that synchronized fight which honestly guys for someone into that kinda dynamic was gold, and thing is, at the end of it it couldn’t happen this round because he couldn’t get out of his toxic spiral for her but has to realize it for himself, but... do you think that if she had told him ‘hey let’s go back to your mom’s’ and he said yes it wouldn’t have ended very differently?

and on top of that honestly that pseudo-proposal was horribly heartbreaking because it was obvious he was projecting the shit out of him on her and when he told her she was nothing but not to him he was basically going like I DON’T WANT TO BE NOTHING TO YOU, and like.... guys, I like hc and redemptive stories and identity arcs and anti-heteronormative role reversals, why wouldn’t I be into that? it’s exactly my thing X°D

and like thing is, I’m not crazy into it mostly because I really like rey but not the way I like idk a brienne or a leia or an éowyn and I think kylo’s a v. good character and I don’t hate him but how do i put it, he’s no han to me XD I’m not passionate about the single characters ENOUGH to be THAT crazy into it but as a ship it absolutely fits all my usual tropes so... why wouldn’t I be into it? I’ve always been down with redemptive stuff and hc and enemies to lovers, the fact that I’m a lightsider doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate a good redemption from the dark when I see it ;)

[reallylonglies]

Taylor Swift - Demon Hunter: Part Three

Just a normal dinner, she was relieved. She’d spent the summer stalking a particularly malevolent sea spirit. Sea spirits can only be evicted with the help of actual ocean spray, which had meant luring him to the coast which hadn’t been easy. Concealing the bruises she’d gained from fighting him on a clifftop wasn’t easy either. Fighting a violent spirit was hard, she had to avoid injuring the host while landing the right blows to the spirit. Rome has excellent healers though. 

This night would just be a straightforward dinner with friends. She’d known this couple for years, it would be fun, relaxing. 

But as soon as they arrived she sensed that something was wrong. Maybe it was exhaustion that slowed her down. It wasn’t until they were half way through dessert that she took the opportunity to casually take a look at him through the bowl of her wine glass. Pretending to be checking for faults, she caught a quick glance at his refracted image. She almost groaned aloud with frustration, but she caught Blake’s eye across the table. They exchanged much more in one look than they could have in a half-hour’s conversation. 

Of course, Taylor thought, I should have known. 

The invite had been very sudden and Blake had been insistent. 

They finished their dessert. As casually as possible, she suggested that she help her friend with the dishes.

“How bad is it?” Blake asked as soon as they were alone.

“Can we start with how you know what we’re dealing with here?” Taylor asked, stacking the dishwasher with precision. Just because you’re a demon hunter doesn’t mean you can’t be damn good at household chores. 

“I… I trained for a while…” Blake looked guilty. They methodically stacked the machine and, without conferring, began removing all sharp objects from the room, “I retired early. I fell in love and I couldn’t keep chasing all those guys, it didn’t feel right.” 

“I get it,” Taylor sighed, it really was exhausting. She’d tried to keep relationships going, but some guys just get funny about you consorting with beings from other dimensions. Even the most understanding eventually grew tired of her aggressive training routine. It was always “How do I know he’s possessed, what if you’re just using that as an excuse?” 

It made sense that Blake had been a rod, her hair was perfect for luring out a satyr or a fire demon. You can fill it full of perfume and then just waft until the demon shows itself. They just can’t resist the scent/texture combination.

Blake’s husband shouted something inane from the dining room, they remembered the task at hand. 

“Alright, what do we do? I can’t take him home like this,” Blake was urgent but not panicked. Taylor sensed that this wasn’t her first rodeo. 

“It looks like a basic level three demon, nothing too complicated. Do you know how long it’s been like this?” she took a series of silver charms from her pocket and wrapped them around her fingers. Blake removed her earrings and placed them on the counter. 

“About three months, I tried to ignore it at first but then I caught sight of him in a mirror and…”

“Say no more. You were right to bring him here.”

There was a big mirror in the dining room. A level three, the Jack-Of-All-Trades of the demon world. Common as headlice in the right places… Taylor was almost impressed that it had managed to take hold of such an influential host. 

He was a big man, but they were very strong women. 

He entered the kitchen and immediately the demon knew it had made a mistake. Taylor caught him in a headlock and forced him to the floor, trying to do as little damage as possible to Blake’s husband’s body in the process. She was thoughtful like that. 

“What’s happening? Why are you doing this to me? Is it because I said I didn’t like the potatoes? I just thought they were a little underdone!” he was a talker, and there are some things that even demons can’t change. 

Taylor pressed her be-charmed hand into his forehead. 

“Oh god, that burns what are you doing? Did Blake tell you what I said about your last single? It was just below par compared to your previous work I’m sorry…” 

“Blake, we need a reflector, can you grab that tea tray?” Blake pulled a silver tea tray from the worktop and held it above her husband’s flailing head. 

“This is like the worst trip to the dentist ever, what have I done to deserve this,” he caught sight of himself in the reflection, spotting the demon for the first time as it railed against Taylor’s silver covered hand, “Oh. That… What is that? Blake honey what’s living inside me?”

“Just a level three demon, we’re gonna pop it right out for you. You won’t feel a thing.” 

“He might feel something,” Taylor asked, trying to listen for the demon’s tune through the grunting and wailing. 

“Ok, you might feel something but it’ll just be a slight pinch,” Blake smiled, she was a terrible liar. 

“It’ll be more like pulling a tooth,” Taylor was using her full bodyweight to keep him restrained.

“Yeah, just like that,” Blake’s reassuring voice was not at all reassuring.

“Except where the tooth is a demon and your whole body is the bleeding gum,” Taylor finally caught the sound of the tune. Wrenching his face towards the mirror, she sang five notes and the demon split from the host with a deafening scream. Stuck in the tea tray, it growled at them impotently. 

She let the host slip down to the floor, he was whimpering. 

“Would anyone like a coffee?” Blake asked, casually popping her earrings back in, “Ryan stop whining, it wasn’t even that big of a demon.”

*********

I didn’t agree that Blake should be allowed to enter the circle of trust. It was a very tight circle. Me, Taylor and nobody else. Of course I felt threatened by Blake. With hair like that who wouldn’t. I wanted to live in it and cut it all off at the same time. Demons can be weird about hair. 

“She knows her stuff and it would be nice to have a friend who understood… you know… this?” 

“You make a compelling point, allow me to repost: I don’t like her.” 

I beg that you don’t judge me on my debating skills. I’m a demon, I’m good at possessing and haunting and showing up at halloween parties to upset teens. I’m also great at making passion fruit and white chocolate swiss rolls, but that’s not a demon thing that’s just because I’m awesome. 

“You are only saying that because you don’t want to share me,” she said. Perceptively. I hated it when she was perceptive. It was all “You’re just saying that because you don’t want to go out” or “that’s based on your personal bias, not fact” or “you only claim to like CSI: Miami to be controversial.” 

“Fine. But don’t blame me if this goes horribly wrong.” 

“It will not go horribly wrong, why are demons so pessimistic?” 

“Because we literally live in hell.” 

At least that was an argument she couldn’t contradict. 

*******

I will consent that letting her have a team mate did have it’s benefits. Blake did information gathering and operational support, Taylor did the hands on exorcising and I did the clean-up and paperwork. 

Have I mentioned how much paperwork there is? The audit trail on an exorcism is no small thing, and it’s a pretty thankless task. 

Mentally I referred to them as Taylor Swift and Blake Deadly because I thought it was hilarious. I didn’t share this with them because I couldn’t handle all the eye-rolling. I just occasionally laughed to myself about it. The demon who sits next to me didn’t find it funny, he just seethed at me in his gross brimstone cloud. 

Everything was going well until she met him. 

It wasn’t that I was jealous. She’ll claim that I was jealous. I wasn’t. Look how well I’d coped with sharing her with Blake. We were a team now! I was not jealous. 

My complaint was that she was spending a whole lot of time with him and he wasn’t even possessed. He wasn’t even an attractive prospect for a level four wind spirit, you know - the kind that spend autumn days making people’s coffee cool down too quickly, or causing people to get their hair caught in their lipstick. These are minor players, we wouldn’t even send a high ranking rod like Taylor in to combat. For a level four you send in a trainee, someone like Zendaya: she’s got potential but needs to hone her craft with a lot of practice. (Her work with Zac Efron was flawless though, a lot of conversations went on about that back at HQ.)

This guy wasn’t powerful enough to interest low level demons, I didn’t see the attraction. 

Blake tried to explain to me it was something something work life balance. I wasn’t really listening, I was looking at her hair. 

Anyway, I think my actions were perfectly justified. 

It wasn’t like I was trying to get her attention anyway. 

I just wanted to make a point. 

I think she overreacted. 

Definitely. 

*****

She thought she understood what betrayal felt like. 

When she came home that day and found her boyfriend possessed, she almost shrugged: it was inevitable that he’d become a target one day.

It didn’t seem like a big problem, just a small infestation. She locked the doors, sat him down. Tried to be gentle. 

The shock came when she pressed her charm against his forehead and heard a familiar song. The face she saw in the mirror, straining against the face of her lover was one she’d known for fifteen years. The demon that had changed her life forever. 

She didn’t need to sing the tune, he floated gently away from the host. 

“I was just making a point,” he said. 

“I never want to see you again,” she replied to his floating form in the mirror. 

“I was just reminding you that you have an important job to do,” he didn’t even have the common decency look guilty. 

“Get out,” she said, standing up, clenching her fingers around a throwing star in her pocket. 

“Oh come on, it was only a little bit of possession, if anything it will be good for him!” 

She threw the star at him and it passed through his spectral form and smashed a vase on the other side of the room. 

“Oh see, this is why we can’t have nice things,” he began. She didn’t have time for his stupid sarcastic tone. 

“I swear if you don’t get out right now, I will trap you in a song forever and you can spend eternity alone.” 

Her voice was stern, he looked honestly confused. It was as if he didn’t understand what he could possibly have done wrong. 

“Ugh, fine,” he said, dissolving. 

He didn’t know what he’d started. 

[landing-amongst-the-planets]

Lmao people in these comments are delusionally talking about the Marauders “changing”, when:

• James Potter bullied Severus while dating Lily (even though he promised Lily he wouldn’t and that was legit the reason Lily thought he’d changed), left Hogwarts so he didn’t have the OPPORTUNITY to bully anyone anymore, and then died at 21, and any “redeeming” qualities we know about him come directly from people biased in his favour, so we don’t know shit about whether he actually changed or not. Even after the whole werewolf incident (which btw we all know James only saved Severus so that Remus wouldn’t be outed as a werewolf and Sirius wouldn’t get in trouble, AKA he saved him to save his own friends’ necks and his own, not out of common human decency), he fucking sexually assaults Severus, publicly, just cuz he exists. What kind of sick bastard does that???

• Sirius Black remained as mentally unsound and malevolent as legit everyone in his family, especially after Azkaban, only showing decency to people he loves, and being a dick to everyone else. He shamed Harry just cuz Harry wasn’t like James, AKA Harry’s not cruel or idiotic enough to play stupid, dangerous pranks or do stupid, dangerous things on purpose for no reason. Cuz Harry has a moral compass and thank the Lord he’s not like James Potter tbh. Not to mention Sirius still using the nickname “Snivellus” and basically putting up the whole macho “I’m intimidating you” routine to Severus, making him still mentally 15-years-old (oh, what else did he do at 15? oh yeah, nearly got a fellow classmate murdered or turned by a bloodthirsty werewolf). So yeah, Sirius didn’t change a lick, cuz he was an immature manbaby. Oh, and he still believes Severus “had it coming”......YOU NEARLY FUCKING MURDERED HIM U VICTIM-BLAMING ASSHOLE, HAVE U NO SENSE OF REMORSE OR LIKE......A CONSCIENCE??? UR AN ADULT NOW, OMG, STOP DEFENDING UR STUPID-ASS ACTIONS.

• Remus Lupin is a complete coward. He never stopped his friends from bullying people, not even when he was given the role of a Prefect and had the power and right to do so. I know he probably had his reasons, like peer pressure and the Marauders probably being his only real friends and the only ones knowing his secret so it’s not smart to anger them, which, btw, says a lot of James and Sirius, but he still let horrible things happen to others and didn’t step up to stop them. Not to mention, even as an adult, he defended his best friends’ horrid actions, making up all kinds of excuses and not really showing remorse for letting the harassment, assault, and torment go on for so long. Defending your long-dead best friend in front of his son is one thing, but good Lord, show some regret, show some remorse, show that the Marauders have fucking consciences! Oh, and Remus probably took some part in the bullying. He said some mean things to Sev through the Marauders’ Map, and thought telling Neville to make Boggart Severus wear womens’ clothes was funny, so I can imagine Remus being a bit of an active bully too, though not as bad as James and Sirius. So yeah, Remus wasn’t an innocent party either. None of the Marauders were.

So yeah. I’m leaving out Peter cuz we all know what happened to him. And honestly??? I’m more frightened of a teenage sexual assaulter and a teenage attempted murderer than I am of some kid who joined a terrorist group cuz he didn’t know any better. Honestly, you think the Death Eaters from way back when were as widely known and the same as they were in Harry’s time??? The Death Eaters charmed people into their ranks, and not just the bloodthirsty murderers. Voldemort knew how to pick his prey. The weak-minded, or the pressured, or the abused, he promised them all acknowledgement, acceptance, power. And abused kids, having been unloved and powerless for their entire lives, are easy pickings for cults and terrorist groups. Severus Snape was one of these kids. And like, let’s be real (“What about my soul, Albus?”), there’s more evidence to prove Severus didn’t actually do any of the killing during the one year he spent as a Death Eater. He did covert work, probs spying and brewing potions and shiz for Voldie. So yeah, I’m not holding anything against an abused 18-year-old who joins the “Dark” side cuz the “Light” side truly never gave him any options. Not to mention, Severus Snape actually did redeem himself for that. James and Sirius and Remus did fuck-all. Severus Snape won them the war, through the incredibly dangerous task of betraying the Dark Lord for years, while also being forced to teach at the same school where he faced so many of his traumatic, triggering experiences so wtf Dumbledore??? Severus Snape spent the rest of his life protecting a child who had his best friend’s eyes and looked exactly like the guy who bullied and abused him, so yeah, he definitely had constant PTSD from that, as well as constantly being exposed to environments where he had experienced the most traumatic experiences, and being constantly gaslighted and guilt-tripped and manipulated by Dumbledore. Severus Snape never got even one chance to be happy in his life and that’s why I care more about him than the rich, popular Pureblooded, bullying, abusing, tormenting Gryffindors who got the best in life handed to them on a silver platter.

Obviously it’s easy for bullies to come out alright (though I doubt the Marauders ever changed but let’s say they did), they had no trauma to get over, no, all they needed to do was STOP BEING FUCKING ASSHOLES. Sirius Black and his family were not on good terms at all, yes, but he had a fucking amazing Hogwarts experience, a support system, he had the Potters to go to after he ran away from home, he had love and support and everything a child needs since the age of 10, yet he still turns into a fucking asshole of a murderous bully, while Severus, having had no love, no support, nothing of the sort, was just a nerd who kept to himself in school. Hogwarts was Severus’ only reprieve, and the Marauders made it hell. I’m sorry, but I would much rather stan a guy who’s been through hell but spent years redeeming himself far beyond the call of duty and ended up becoming a hero despite being vilified every step of the way, than a group of teenage sexual assaulters, attempted murderers, bullies, and tormentors who stayed in the same mindset they’ve had since they were 15, and were glorified every step of the way.

Also, OP’s saying that we legit didn’t see enough of the Marauders to stan them. Everything the fandom loves about them is either fanon or glorification of their bullying personalities. While Severus has a number of scenes and a detailed backstory, and we know a whole lot about him, his motivations, his personality, etc. Severus Snape isn’t a pure angel by any means, but, after finding out about his past, I can sympathise with him way more than I can sympathise with any Harry Potter character, especially the Marauders. And I just enjoy Severus’ personality more. He’s not a nice person, and we don’t want him to be, the sarcastic causticity of his character is enjoyable and relatable. But he’s a good person, and he has a good heart. So yeah, we love Severus Snape.

*breathes* woah, I got mad......God, I hate the fucking Marauders.

Sometimes I wonder if Marauder stans have read “Snape’s Worst Memory” more than once. I just don’t understand how can you read:

After five minutes of this, Harry wondered why James didn’t tell Wormtail to get a grip on himself, but James seemed to be enjoying the attention. Harry noticed that his father had a habit of rumpling up his hair as though to keep it from getting too tidy, and he also kept looking over at the girls by the water’s edge.

and

‘This’ll liven you up, Padfoot,’ said James quietly. ‘Look who it is …’

Sirius’s head turned. He became very still, like a dog that has scented a rabbit.

‘Excellent,’ he said softly. ‘Snivellus.’

and

‘All right, Snivellus?’ said James loudly.

Snape reacted so fast it was as though he had been expecting an attack.

and

‘Impedimenta!’ he said, pointing his wand at Snape, who was knocked off his feet halfway through a dive towards his own fallen wand.

and

Snape lay panting on the ground. James and Sirius advanced on him, wands raised.

and

‘How’d the exam go, Snivelly?’ said James.

‘I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment,’ said Sirius viciously. ‘There’ll be great grease marks all over it, they won’t be able to read a word.’

and

Snape was trying to get up, but the jinx was still operating on him; he was struggling, as though bound by invisible ropes.

and

Pink soap bubbles streamed from Snape’s mouth at once; the froth was covering his lips, making him gag, choking him –

and

‘What’s he done to you?’

‘Well,’ said James, appearing to deliberate the point, ‘it’s more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean …’

and

‘I will if you go out with me, Evans,’ said James quickly. ‘Go on … go out with me and I’ll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again.’

and

James whirled about: a second flash of light later, Snape was hanging upside-down in the air, his robes falling over his head to reveal skinny, pallid legs and a pair of greying underpants.

and

‘Let him down!’

‘Certainly,’ said James and he jerked his wand upwards; Snape fell into a crumpled heap on the ground. Disentangling himself from his robes he got quickly to his feet, wand up, but Sirius said, 'Petrificus Totalus!’ and Snape keeled over again, rigid as a board.

and

‘Reading between the lines, I’d say she thinks you’re a bit conceited, mate,’ said Sirius.

‘Right,’ said James, who looked furious now, ‘right –’

There was another flash of light, and Snape was once again hanging upside-down in the air.

‘Who wants to see me take off Snivelly’s pants?’

and not absolutely loathe these them?

[taiblogcomics]

THEN WHO WAS PHONE? (Repost)

Originally posted to Xanga on December 6, 2012

Hey there, sacred artifacts. Well, it's been a while. I'm sure we're all better off for it, but eventually that time had to come again. And so, here we are. It's time once more to read a ridiculous children's horror novel by R.L. Stine. Since we already covered books three and four in the Hall of Horrors line earlier, let's move right along to Goosebumps Hall of Horrors #5: Don't Scream!. Just don't do it, man!

This book sure has a cover:

That disembodied mouth really needs to see an orthodontist, let me tell you. In fact, I'm not even sure that lower jaw has any human teeth at all. Surprisingly, this image does happen in the book. It's not indicative of the story in any way, but it's there.

Our protagonist for this go-round is Jack Harmon. His one-dimensional character trait is being picked on by bullies. His most frequent tormenters are "Big Mick" Owens and Darryl "The Hammer" Oliva. Darryl is never referred to as "The Hammer" anywhere but the first page, but this is such a cool name that we're going to keep using it, quotes and all. Today they're twisting Jack's arm, stealing his Red Sox cap, spitting in it, and then getting off the school bus. This is how we're introduced to our main character, guys. Certainly a sign of good things to come!

Jack slumps in some random seat, disappointed he can't be as lucky as you blog readers and be spared all the description of the spit in his hair. As an extra bonus, the story kicks off right away with Jack finding a cellphone in the seat. And if you're wondering, yes, it's specifically a smartphone with "all kinds of apps". Jack doesn't think to check the address book or anything, he just turns it on and puts it to his ear. To his surprise, he's immediately greeted by a girl's voice. Possible references to make jokes on:

A) The Ring 2) Calling D) When A Stranger Calls ?) [reader's choice of phone-based horror story]

The girl on the other end introduces herself as Jack's new best friend. I'm going to save myself some trouble and reveal now that her name is Emmy, since she doesn't actually get a name until late in the book. Jack at first thinks it's his younger sister's babysitter playing a prank. What the heck kind of babysitter is this that this is your first thought? In fact, her name is Mindy, not Vicky or Rosalyn. Jack continues trying to insist it is Mindy, at which point Emmy snaps and says she's not Mindy, and Jack better not make her angry. He wouldn't like her when she's angry.

So if she's not Mindy, the girl must be Jack's pal Eli. Eli wears the hat of "improbable electronics geek" in this story, including a voice changer that clearly Jack thinks can make him sound like a girl. See, Emmy, if you had introduced yourself at the beginning instead of three-quarters of the way into the story, you could avoid this whole thing. This was just a clumsy way to introduce us to characters without introducing the characters, wasn't it? As it is, Jack gets tired of the whole thing and tries to hang up. Unfortunately, turning the power off doesn't make the creepy voice go away, and Emmy continues to talk to him. Hanging up on people is rude, Jack, maybe this haunting will help you improve as a person~

Jack is at first terrified and confused, but then he gets a great idea: get off the bus and leave the phone behind. Ah, Goosebumps: where a main character's intricate plan equates to a real-world person's common sense. Jack puts this daring plan into action, only to be thwarted by an incidental character throwing the phone out the window to him. Wow, what if this had been different circumstances, where the owner cared and she missed? In fact, why did Jack bother to catch it? You knucklehead. Everything that happens now is directly the fault of your hand-eye coordination. Jack then starts screaming at the phone, saying how it can't call him because he switched it off. Passersby give him "this kid is a lunatic" stares.

Jack gets home and starts fiddling with the phone some more, despite it containing the threatening voice of a disembodied girl. He checks the section labelled "My Photos", and finds it's all full of pictures of him and his family. And, like, not candid shots either. Though that would've been a good, creepy, "holy shit, real-world stalkers" bit. No, it's just more supernatural nonsense that is never explained or mentioned again. Jack decides this is the best thing to freak out over and trots downstairs to show the phone to Mindy. Mindy's in the kitchen making mac-and-cheese for little sister Rachel. Jack doesn't want any, which baffles Mindy. "Everybody likes mac and cheese after school." And if you don't, you're an America-hating commie Martian!

Jack decides to tell everything to Mindy, and Mindy is appropriately skeptical. She picks up the phone herself and begins asking into it for the girl. There's no response, and Jack looks like an idiot. Ah, a Goosebumps protagonist in their natural habitat. Rachel chimes in that Jack is always a liar, and I've used flimsier excuses to post the Applejack meme.

"'Course some girl talks to me through the phone! Ah get loads of calls from girls every day!"

Jack shamefully goes back to his room, and Emmy chides him for trying to show her to the babysitter. Jack counters with the notion that he could just give the phone to his parents and ask them to find the owner. Emmy is quiet for a moment, then electrocutes Jack. Why, of course a phone's battery has enough charge to reduce a person to twitching spasms! Also, completely reasonable reaction, and a sure route to friendship. Emmy threatens to do it again if Jack doesn't listen to her, and even threatens his sister. More friendship!

Eli shows up now, having been summoned by Jack earlier. Eli is described as a little chubby and wearing cargo pants with pockets full of junk and T-shirts with jokes that aren't funny on them. Finally, an accurate description of what a kid would wear. If you were wondering, today's shirt says "I'm with brilliant" and points up at Eli's face. Wow, they weren't kidding about the "not funny" bit, eh? Now that we've had some accuracy, are you ready for irrelevant nonsense that I'm going to rant about anyway?

Eli also shows up playing a handheld video game system. It's a touch-controlled game with glasses-less 3D graphics. Why, it's the... Digi-GameFreak 4. What. C'mon, guys, these books have referred to the Wii by name before. And this book came out in January 2012, only a couple months before the 3DS hit the market. Did you really have to make up some generic bullshit system that doesn't exist? Also, stop saying "game-player". Nobody calls them that. They're handhelds or portables. I normally wouldn't mind so much, this is pretty standard for Goosebumps to make up fake things (see: any time comics are mentioned), but they have specifically mentioned the Wii by name before, as I said. It just feels horribly inconsistant

Jack explains the whole story to Eli, and he's a little more believing than Mindy. In fact, Emmy even obliges him a "go away, Jack has a new best friend", and Eli has to think about that for a while. Eventually, he comes to the conclusion that the phone has two SIM cards in it. And a second set of receivers and speakers, too. I'm not sure you can get all that junk inside a thin little smartphone and have it still function, and even if you can, that's a really elaborate and expensive prank to play on a middle schooler.

Jack considers this, then decides that even if this is a thing, Eli can't open it up because of how shocking Emmy reacts. Eli comes up with another plan. He'll put the phone in a box, and then he'll put that box inside of another box, and then he'll mail that box to himself. And when it arrives, he'll smash it with a hammer! Or, to save on postage, he'll just skip to the last step and gets a sledgehammer out of Jack's basement. The phone is quickly reduced to its component parts and splinters of plastic. Emmy doesn't even have the decency to scream.

Well, book's over, right? Not quite.

Satisfied that his technical knowhow (i.e. breaking stuff) has triumphed, Eli decides to play his bullshit video game some more. Oh, but this turns out to be a dumb idea. Emmy has moved from the broken phone to the handheld. So, she's basically the Cyborg Superman now. And boy is she miffed. And thus, she electrocutes Eli so badly that the game melts. Um, wow. The fact that he even moves after that is kind of unbelievable. The only damage he incurs are various burns on his hands. Jack's dad (Peter, I hope) walks by and notices the smoldering wreckage. He comments that games shouldn't overheat like that, it could be dangerous.

Eli stays for dinner, Emmy stays forever, and Jack's dad decides they should all go to the big electronics store after dinner. Dad has an itching for a new HD TV (you know what HD is, Stine/ghostwriter, but not the 3DS?), and he invites Jack along. Jack decides to yet again tell everyone about the phone and the girl inside it. His parents are horrified that he would wantonly smash a piece of electronic equipment that didn't belong to him, and they're kind of skeptical about electronic ghost girls, too. His mom shows her general ignorance of modern technology by suggesting the idea that he just didn't turn off the phone good enough, so Emmy just kept talking. They then demand to see the ruins of the bullshit handheld game.

Dad looks over the device for a minute, asking the girl to speak up. Then he hits it against his palm as if it lost its picture or something. This causes the handheld to let out a deafening screech that keeps on screeching. Eventually it subsides, and everyone is in quite a bit of pain. Dad decides "That player is defective. It's dangerous." Please refer to my previous Pinkie Pie clip. Conveniently, Eli bought the thing at the same place Dad intends to buy his new TV, so he's going to show it to the manager while there and get it replaced for Eli. He then herds the two boys into the car with him, and Jack wonders what the worst Emmy could do if she found out where they're going. Eli replies, "She could blow up the car." Yes, you're being very helpful.

Unfortunately for us, Emmy does not blow up the car, and the story continues. In fact, pretty much nothing happens at all. They get to the store without incident, and the defective video game is turned in to the manager. Eli and Jack dare to hope they are finally free. This is an incredibly dumb thing to do, because almost immediately all the lights and televisions flicker, and a giant pair of lips appears on each screen. Hey, there's that cover image. The lips start announcing that Jack can't outwit her and she'll always be here. People are confused, and it goes away as suddenly as it happened. Wow, this was such a climactic scene that it needed to be on the cover, yes?

Anyway, Eli gets his new handheld, Dad mistook the sale date of televisions, and they leave almost without incident. Then Dad suddenly remembers what else they should be doing: he buys Jack a cellphone. You know, the very device you were just deeply upset with him for destroying 20 minutes ago at dinner. Dad says it's high time he had one, so I guess destroying equipment is a rite of passage in the Harmon family? Hey, try wrecking the car next, Jack. After lengthy paperwork (one of the true horrors in the book), Jack has his own phone and is at home. Suddenly, Emmy starts talking to him through the phone, telling Jack not to worry, she's still here~

Jack thinks it's high time for some damn answers. He wants to know exactly who Emmy is (who still hasn't been named at this point, remember), and she's reluctant to say anything. Eventually she fesses up to being an AI glitch. Just an experiment in artificial intelligence that somehow got an electrical glitch and became a sentient digital lifeform.

Welp.

Anyway, Emmy (finally named now) is a living virtual pet, basically, and she can manipulate electricity (or "digital signals", as she says) to attack or move around. They're what keep her alive. But being alive isn't enough for her. She wants companionship. She's sure other digital people like her exist, and Jack's going to help her find them. In fact, he'll do whatever she wants or she'll hurt him. How fun~ All this aside, shouldn't this be a sci-fi book, and not horror?

Next day at school, Jack tries to text this to Eli, but Eli reports he didn't get them. Eli is intrigued by this whole artificial intelligence slant, and believe me, he's the only one. They head for class, and class is uneventful. That is, until Emmy starts detecting a signal. Another digital person is nearby, and she wants Jack to go retrieve it. Yes, in the middle of class. Jack refuses, of course, and Emmy threatens to burn all the flesh off his leg if he doesn't. I'm no leg expert, but that may hinder the retrieval of electric friends, you know. Either way, Emmy orders Jack to steal the laptop. Jack protests that he's in the middle of class, but she doesn't care. In fact, she finds him highly disobedient, and demands a show of obedience or she'll flashfry his pants. "Stand on your head, Jack," she commands.

Jack, not wanting the book to be any stupider, refuses. He gets a big shock for his trouble, and yelps and falls out of his chair. The teacher asks what the commotion is, and Jack claims to have been stung by a bee. The teacher dryly replies that it must've been a very big bee for him to make such a fuss. Hey. Hey, teach. Fuck you. You ever been stung by a bee? It fucking hurts. I'd like to see you not yelp and jump when stung. Hell, maybe he's allergic and is now dying. But no, you gotta be a snarky bitch about it.

Despite all this, Emmy still demands headstands. The chapter ends, and it cuts to after class, where he has clearly done a headstand. Mick and "The Hammer" are riding him about it, and Jack says that the bee sting just made him loopy. Everyone in this school is nuts, and I'm even including Emmy in that. Seriously, Emmy, you haunt technology, and this is the best you can do? There's more generic harassment, Mick expresses interest in Jack's digital watch, and Jack threatens to tell the bus driver, and she'll throw them off the bus. They laugh and say she can't do that, she'll lose her job. Um, hi, dumbshits, that's exactly what she can do. She won't lose her job, that is her job. This is completely ridiculous. It's like the author lives slightly left of reality. Handheld video game with touch controls and 3D graphics? Some other brand. Bus driver enforces rules? Lose her job. Bruce Wayne's parents shot in alley? Becomes the Joker.

The next day, Jack hides in the school so he can steal a laptop with a digital person inside. I totally just typed that sentence. He doesn't even wait until nightfall when all the teachers have left. No, just 'til, like, five. All the kids are gone, but there's still plenty of adults around. Yeah, I feel good about this plan. I'm excited by this. Well, long story short, due to this plan being super dumb, Jack is caught with laptop in his hands. The teacher questions him about it, and he makes up a story about how he was putting the laptop back. The teacher buys this, and Emmy is annoyed. But what can they do~? Emmy says Jack better do better next time. Jack is sure next time he'll be caught. And he narrates to us that, in fact, he was. But that's a long frightening story. So it has no chance of being in this book~?

The next next day, Emmy now detects a signal from none other than Mick's camera. Naturally, Jack is not keen on stealing from Mick. But after Emmy makes his backpack burst into flames, Jack starts to warm up to the idea. Jack makes a show of bumping into Mick at lunch, and deftly steals the camera in the mashup. Mick and "The Hammer" respond by eating Jack's lunch. Emmy doesn't have time to check out the camera yet, and thusly on the bus, Mick decides to go through Jack's backpack when he notices the burns. He finds the camera, but doesn't realise it's his. Instead he decides to give it to "The Hammer" as a present. So they lose the camera without accomplishing anything. Way to waste our time~

Not having had his fill of doing dumb stuff, Jack sneaks out of the house that night to wander the streets until Emmy picks up a signal. Finally she notices one outside a darkened house, one of Jack's neighbours. She commands Jack to break in and steal whatever it is that she's registering. Since this is obviously the best possible plan, Jack does, in fact, break into the house, reasoning that his neighbour is out late. There's a brief scene where Jack is startled by a cat that adds nothing, and then he locates the source of the signal: a clock radio. He takes it and leaves. Here's the super-dumb part: Emmy has him stop and let her scan the radio before they get too far. Couldn't she have done that in the bedroom? It'd be easier, because now Jack has to sneak back into the house and put the clock radio back. Predictably, he gets caught in the middle of this.

We cut away, and return to Jack being returned home and explaining this whole thing to his parents. Jack has the brilliant idea of saying it was a dare and pinning it on Mick and "The Hammer". What he doesn't realise until seconds later is that his mother would call up their parents. There's a brief phone conversation, and Jack's mom comes back mad. Turns out Mick figured out the camera switcheroo. Jack apologised a crazy amount and basically goes to bed mad.

The next morning, Jack wakes up to find his sister in his room. She's messing with the cellphone, and Jack realises what's going to happen just before it does: the cellphone messes back, and little Rachel is electrocuted. Jack finally snaps like a twig and smashes the cellphone with the sledgehammer that just happened to still be lying around. Emmy chides him for being dumb and says he can't get rid of her that easily. Jack smashes his iPod too, followed by his computer. Then the TV. Then the clock above the bed. Jack later discovers himself being hugged by Mindy, completely unaware of exactly what went on. Jack may be the first Goosebumps character to officially go super nuts~

No, really. He even sees a child psychologist. There's talking, there's therapy, there's a timeskip. And Jack doesn't hear from Emmy at all. Until one day a couple weeks later, he does. He's not happy about this. Turns out she's been hiding in his digital watch the whole time. And she's ready for him to find more friends for her again~

Jack suddenly has an out, though. Mick walks up, mocking Jack for talking to his watch. He's going to beat Jack up for stealing his camera, and then he's moving away to Detroit. Jack suddenly gets an idea. He gives Mick his digital watch as a gift. Mick's been admiring it throughout the book, and he decides this is good enough. He exits, and takes the watch with Emmy in it with him. And this time, Jack is really free~

Oh, except we need a crappy twist ending. Mick moves and days pass. Emmy is not heard from whatsoever. Eventually, the phone rings, and Jack nervously picks it up. Fortunately, it's not Emmy. It's a boy's voice. Mick's, to be exact. He begs Jack to help him. He's trapped in the phone, thanks to Emmy. And he can hurt Jack if he won't help... Haha, that makes no sense~

Sheesh. Well, despite what you might think, this book is not the worst thing I've ever read. In fact, this might be one of the better books I've read in this series. It's kind of a clever idea, and as usual it's ruined by shoddy execution. It also makes no sense as a Goosebumps book. It's like a sci-fi novel that got misappropriated into crappy children's horror. The ending also comes right the fuck out of nowhere, and has no explanation with the rest of the text. Were there even any other digital entities? Who can tell~? And yet, despite the dumbness present throughout, it wasn't the worst thing ever. It was at least readable, and had a interesting premise. But really, leave the technology-based horror to those who have actually used technology invented in the last 20 years~

One more thing: what the hell does the title have to do with anything? Were there no phone puns available?

[paperlacejane]

In the light of Season 4 of BBC Sherlock,

I’m going to post my archived reaction to S3 and the Victorian Christmas Special, and some thoughts about the state of things. Completely unwanted and unrequested, but I want to share.

I also feel I should say that there is some positivity amongst the torrent of negativity.

I initially wrote the reaction to The Abominable Bride for my own personal catharsis. I considered posting it, tailored it as a review of the episode, even, but ultimately decided that I didn’t want to spread the negativity. If people were still enjoying it, then I didn't want to spoil it (I'm a sensitive type, and seeing negativity can easily harsh my buzz, so I didn't want to do that with anyone.)

I also still didn't want to believe where the show was heading. But now, given S4, I feel it's inescapable. Right now, I feel like I'm jumping out of the wood-work now to say: "SORRY GUYS, I KNEW THIS WAS GOING TO END BADLY." But I also really do want to make a point about the direction that the series took with S3 and the hideous Christmas special. [There were some considerable insulting blips along the way before that, but S3 (my main problem is His Last Vow) and TAB were so concentrated in their shitness, that I feel I need to single them out.]

I just want to point out that this wasn't a sudden thing. I feel like I need to say this, because a lot of people I'm seeing have been saying: "how did it go so wrong, you fucked up, this season was horrible" as if there weren't signs before this. People much more eloquent (and concise/pithy) than me have highlighted some of the questionable shit that has cropped up in Sherlock. I'm not going to write out all those points here. What I focus on are the glaring bits that offended me the most, that jarred the hardest, that really hurt -- and which appear to have been dialed up to 11 for this last series/season. I haven't read any (?? I think?) critiques of The Abominable Bride, so I can't say whether people have commented similar. I hope they have. (I had read over a couple of positive ones before writing this, on the IMDB page for that episode. This 'review' was what I was going to submit as a review on that page, because I was frustrated with the positivity, but I decided it was too-ranty and too downer-like for there.)

Very very few people are going to see this, let alone read this. But I just want to let out something that I’ve felt for a long time. That the signs of the fall were there, and that the writers, the actors, they've been screwing with us for ages, and that they've been wronging us in more ways than the no-johnlock queerbaiting-turned-queerbashing thing (which is a huge WRONG.)

So, this is my cathartic rant from however many years ago. I titled it, because Evernote wanted me to title it, "Notes on The Abominable Bride and the Questionable Direction of BBC's Sherlock" (the original title, I recall was: "what the actual fuck," or similar.)

In two words? Truly repugnant.

There is an aggressive amount of sarcasm at several points in the following paragraphs. Just, be warned. It should be obvious, and I've switched some of it out for easier reading with fewer double-negatives, but.

Given the era that Conan Doyle's stories were written, sexism is evident. Even within the character of Sherlock Holmes. He is quite gynophobic in the original stories, I have no illusions there. And yet he still respects women. He respects them when they're intelligent, when they're clever -- and those are not 'masculine' traits. He defends women, and threatens righteous violence against people who prey on them - one of my favourite moments is when he literally goes to get his riding crop to whip a man who has been manipulating and catfishing his own daughter. But still, there is sexism in Sherlock Holmes.

But I have never felt so attacked and demeaned as a woman by a Sherlock Holmes story as I have while watching this episode of BBC Sherlock. Whose idea was it to dress feminists in purple KKK hoods? To have them adopt KKK methods? To have pretty much all the women of the series thrown into a cultish vendetta club who specialised in systematic terror and serial murder? Oh, bravo. I don't care if it was all in Sherlock's head, or supposed to be justified within the narrative, or if it's supposed to be 'real'. Why would they put that on screen? Why would they make those links, create those parallels? And who thought having Steven Moffat tackle the topic of women and sexism was a good idea?

The only truly respectable life-like woman I have seen in this series is Sarah - a simple doctor, everyday but exceptional, who was clever and held her own. And yet she was disappeared. To be replaced by vindictive hags, insipid would-be love-interests, charicature land-ladies, and a woman who shot and technically killed the most-loved literary character of all time - who we're supposed to have forgiven because she "didn't mean to kill him," because her killshot was supposedly "surgery." The writers of this series would do well to remember that this isn't Doctor Who. It's not a science-magical world where the audience is obliged to grudgingly swallow down all the unlikely and downright absurd rationalisations that are thrown at us. If you use that sort of bullshit logic for a story which is supposed to be more-or-less realistic, it just looks exceedingly lazy -- even lazier than it does in Doctor Who. Not only that, It's fantastically cheap, and, at least personally, your audience ends up feeling cheated.

It also looks immoral in the extreme. How is it that all the characters -- John and Mycroft particularly (a pragmatic but emotional man who is supposedly devoted to Sherlock, as well as Sherlock's own brother who tenderly takes care of him every time he ODs) -- how are they supposed to have forgiven Mary too? I could, maybe, believe that Sherlock's self-esteem is so low that he might try to rationalise Mary's actions away in order to not rock the boat and not lose the people that he thinks of as his friends. But why in fuck's name are John and Mycroft believing that crock of shit? Even if it were "surgery," you're telling me that they can both just let the bare fact that she shot Sherlock slide? No visceral rejection of a person who could do that to someone you care about? No wish to see them pay, or be brought to justice? They're not repulsed by her actions in any way? They still trust her, when that's what she's capable of? When "I'll shoot Sherlock in the chest and maybe/probably he'll die," is a perfectly acceptable risk for her to take? (I say 'probably' because he flat-lined. And if it weren't a TV show, everyone has a good chance of dying if shot near point-blank in the fucking chest.)

Sherlock may be portrayed unsympathetically in this series, particularly in this latest episode, but he's no Magnussen. I wasn't torn up when Sherlock shot him in the face -- there was common decency on Sherlock's side, which goes a surprisingly long way. Magnussen was a blackmailing creep who had a penchant for sexual intimidation and degradation after all. But Mary shot Sherlock. Sherlock still equals 'good guy.' Let me break that down for you: A deceiving unrepentant liar and serial killer shoots good guy in chest for no good reason except so that she can go on lying. But not only are Mycroft and John letting that slide with little to absolutely no fuss, they're then letting Mary make smarmy little snide comments about Sherlock and joking about the lacking security of MI5 (and yeah, of course Mary can hack Mi5 instantaneously on an iPhone. Why not! Who cares about believability when you have the opportunity for 'witty' banter?) Mary is all-round a despicable character who somehow gets away with being a piece of shit because... She's sassy? The result is that she is a bad guy who gets no repercussions for her actions, and appears as shallow as a shower to boot. (I'm reminded forcibly of River Song.) The whole thing makes all of the main characters appear void of all human feeling, all basic human reasoning. They have no principles. Given that the show's main characters are meant to be crime-solvers, justice-dealers, law-and-order types, and "the British Government," you'd think there'd at least be some sense of moral rectitude abounding. And yet, no. There's a difference between "just enough of an arsehole to be worth liking," and just plain old arsehole. There's also a difference between morally grey and morally bankrupt. I feel increasingly under the impression that the writers don't know the difference.

On a related note: the true Sherlock Holmes was never, ever a sociopath (the term "sociopath" hasn't been used by any respected psychiatric authority since the 1960s - Sherlock would know that, even if the writers don't.) He has been sexist, but he has never been devoid of moral feeling. He has occassionally been devoid of tact, and often focused on fact over feelings, which are clearly very very different things. It's often remarked that as a character Sherlock Holmes is admirable, but that it's hard to like him. That's never stopped me before. That is, it's never stopped me with the original stories. Even within other adaptations, I have a great deal of affection for him and the stories he inhabits. With this series, they've done a good job of twisting that affection into disdain and disappointment.  

Oh! And whose idea was it to harass a historically asexual/non-sexual character on his orientation? That was an added touch of pure ignorance - and that amidst the existing pool of unreason, it must have been the audience's birthday! Then, of course, they couldn't possibly forget to lean on the fact that Sherlock kept Irene Adler's photo in the stories! I mean, it's a given that he should be harassed for being non-sexual and non-romantic, but of ~course, if he were actually interested in sex and romance, he's obviously secretly definitely, ~definitely straight. Never mind that he also kept a bust and picture of Goethe. Nevermind that he has a picture of Poe in his bedroom. Nevermind that Irene was (in the original stories) a woman who just barely outwitted him, who ~just got away. Forget that it's perfectly conceivable that he might admire her resourcefulness and cunning -- they're just the things that as a character he always admires -- no, he obviously kept her picture because he wants to fuck her. Of course! God forbid a man admire and wish to remember a woman and not want to fuck her. Never mind all other evidence that he's content being a non-sexual non-romantic creature. Never mind respecting his orientation as valid. Never mind that Watson explicitly states that Holmes wasn't interested in Irene romantically/sexually, nevermind that he was willing witness at her wedding-- Oh, but they've found a solution for that as well! Watson was lying! Of course he was! How convenient for them!

I cannot adequately express just how disgusting it is that they are trying to suggest, in this same scene, that this particular interpretation/incarnation of the character of Sherlock Holmes is somehow the secretly ultra-accurate portrait of the 'real' Sherlock Holmes. They literally state that the original stories are glossed-over for the good of Dr Watson's reading public of the time. How narcissistic and power-hungry (and delusional) do you have to be to say that your adaptation is somehow a more 'real' or 'accurate' portrayal? "Oh, he's arguably one of the best-loved characters of all time? Well ours is more accurate and better and we have mobile phones!" The original Holmes is an icon, a simple character who is at the same time exceedingly complex, he's paradoxical and he's wonderful. He stands the test of time. And there was once a time when I would have defended this BBC portrayal of Sherlock as the most accurate adaptation I've seen - a rougher, younger Sherlock, but tactfully brought into the real and present day. Not anymore. They've ended up exaggerating Sherlock's flaws so that they consume his entire character - the drug-use/-addiction, the tactlessness. Then they have all the other characters hate on him, slap him, mock him because of the exaggerated character traits that once accented Sherlock Holmes, and that the audience once loved so much. I just feel like the entire series is being geared towards people hating Sherlock Holmes, hating this series. I don't understand what the intent is for making these narrative choices.

You cannot put your characters into situations, have them graphically violated and manipulated and slander them in-text, and then give a small throw-away line as if to forgive all trespasses. Audience engagement doesn't work like that. You're working towards your audience feeling violated. Offended. And we're given no justice, no closure. And rest assured: we remember everything. Why are there no repercussions? Why is there so much that doesn't add up, why is so much skated over, if this is meant to be the accurate depiction of the 'real' Sherlock Holmes and his world?

I don't trust the writers of this series. I don't trust them to give me closure, to take me on a journey or tell me a story that doesn't rankle in the wrong way -  that doesn't violate reasonable sensibilities and then shrug off the trespass in the following moment. I feel like I should be slapping the creators with a glove and screaming "I demand satisfaction!" Because this latest instalment (the latest two instalments) have done little more than alienate and aggravate me. Even to the point that I'm ashamed of having once been a fan of this series. Even saying that I ask myself: am I over-reacting here? But I reason with myself, and I still feel it's true. It's become a series that I truly don't even recognise anymore. It feels warped. And I don't know how they can turn it back into a story about Sherlock making the transition from great man to good one. I'm not convinced that they have an idea of what a good man is, given what they're letting their characters get away with.

Moral relativity is a thing, but surely it's not just me that thinks the BBC Sherlock bar for "good" or "acceptable" is severely and unrepentantly low. Like I said: there's a difference between morally grey and morally bankrupt. There's not even any in-depth critique about actions, no reasonable discussion - everything's allowed, everything's thrown under the rug of "I'm a sociopath! He's a sociopath! She's a sociopath! Everyone's a sociopath!" Not only is that boring in the extreme to watch, it's so unsubtle that it's infuriating. There's no examination of what someone's shitty remark or action means. There's no weight to any interaction. It's pointless banter. It's flimsy. And when anything goes, then by what basis can they be solving crimes and catching 'bad guys'?

The vision for the series feels shot to shit. It feels like the series' universe has become an absolute fiction, devoid of any consequences, lacking in insight, depth, and subtlety, and populated almost exclusively by characters who drive me to be empty of any sympathetic feeling. I know that it's perfectly possible to write hateful characters who are never-the-less engaging, who inspire sympathy and empathy. But this series does neither. Look at the characters on paper and they become nothing. They're empty. I struggle to find instances of cogent speech that reflect some semblance of a fleshed out character beneath the flaking veneer. It's like they're just spouting words, but the words themselves have lost all meaning. And even when I find a moment that seems like it rings true and clear to the character that's speaking (Mycroft asking Sherlock if he'd made a list of narcotics used was the first that came to mind), that poignant moment is directly contradicted by their actions in a multitude of ways (your brother's killer is sitting right next to you, and you don't mind). That's a man who loves his baby brother (emotional reasoning) who is fine with his brother's flippant murderer a) still breathing, b) un-punished, c) being all sassy and nonchalant about Sherlock's drug abuse, and d) hacking into government restricted records in front of 'The British Government'. THAT SHOULD TRIGGER A FUCKING EMOTIONAL REACTION. It results in the portrayal of an inconceivable level of self-deception and compartmentalisation that reasonable men with moral feeling wouldn't stand. The characters don't feel solid. There's no integrity to them. You examine their reasoning, their internal logic, their actions, and they crumble to pieces. That, or they're so two-dimensional that they don't stand up to scrutiny anyway. It's all contradictions -- but they don't make a beautiful paradox, they make a jumble of nonsense tropes.

Beyond my perverse observation of how... wrong they seem, how much they betray how they're straying from the vision of the first and even the second series, these last episodes have simply served to make me disinterested in practically every single character. This is a truly impressive feat when they were once among my most-loved. I feel so fucking jaded. But all of the crap is just piling up to the point where I'm literally just stepping away from this series. I'm figuratively and literally throwing my hands up and saying: you know what? Fuck off. I have a feeling it may be like a car-crash for me for the next few episodes -- "don't wanna look but you can't turn away" -- but I don't see how they could bring the series back from this. I can't be the only person that's feeling seriously, seriously wronged by this episode. I can't be. Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me. Burn me thrice? Fuck. Off. I'm off to watch something that doesn't make me want to throw up and claw my own face off .

So yeah.

After quietly “breaking up” with the show -- think in the style of Jon Snow bitterly saying: “My Watch is Ended“ -- I semi-waited for S4. I say semi-waited because I wasn’t going to watch it. But I was still hopeful, at least a little bit, on the behalf of the people that I followed on here, that I met in real life, that still had hope for the series. I thought to myself: “maybe. maybe it won’t be shit. maybe they’ll explain what the fuck why the fuck how the fuck.“

As we've found, and as I've mentioned, from what I have seen from my tumblr feed tonight, it went about as well as I expected.

I still haven't seen S4. The last episode I watched was TAB. But from what I've seen on here, it's been a clusterfuck of queer-coded villains, and copious dashings of even bigger plotholes than before, logical blackholes, more morally reprehensible crap -- and so many inconsistencies, it'll make your head spin worse than the hammed-up cinematography.

So, I'm so sorry for the people that had such high hopes, and who were deceived and let down in a big way. I -- and all of us, I think -- know that in the greater scheme of things, one TV show that went to shit, as TV shows are prone to do, isn’t so horrible a thing. But this show meant a huge amount to me. It meant an enormous amount to many, many others. I think of the creative fan-community, so many hours making gorgeously complex filthy brilliant heartwarming heartbreaking fic (so so much better than what we received)... to have what spawned that creative storm of brilliance and engaging life-affirming work -- life-consuming and life-ruining (in the good way) in equal measure -- to have what brought these works about go so bad, it actually hurts. It hurts less for me now, because I'm much further away from it than I was a couple of years ago. But it still stinks. And if it hurts me, I can't imagine how much that'd suck to have the show you spent so long making intensive work around go down the gurgler. The fandom and the general community that surrounded this show, for the most part, were way beyond what it ended up deserving.

In further efforts to legitimise my (our) frustration and disappointment, I'll reiterate that engagement in fiction is a huge part of our modern lives. We care about what happens to these characters and these stories. It matters, for one thing, because representation matters (be that queer, female, moral). Media fucking matters. It mirrors and exaggerates reality, and they ended up giving us a steaming pile of bullshit. (In a positive metaphor, this bullshit may still be used as effective manure from which better works can spring. Just be careful handling it.)

But, I have to say, given the backlash, I am also giddy. Because people aren't standing for it.

People are still making up theories to excuse where the show has gone, and what they've done, but at this point it really is super-keen denial, which some have realised even as they speak it. But the denial, the desperate “surely this is a trick” reaction, while sweet in its idealism, is also really sad. Because I don't think 'The Show' is gonna come back from this. I don't think they can get away with what they have been putting on the screens anymore. How can they? I can't forgive them. And after S4? I'm getting the impression that most of the world who gave the slightest of shits about BBC Sherlock can't forgive them either.

But lastly, I just want to say: okay, it hurts now. It really hurts. I remember that I was going through some horrible shit when they first started fucking up this show. Really shit timing, Show. I don't remember much from that time, just snippets, because that's how the brain copes. But I remember saying to my sister in a fit of desperate honesty: "all the therapy things I read, they say you're meant to hold onto the little things that makes life worth living, that you live for, that you want to see and experience more of... But BBC Sherlock was that for me, and it can't be that for me anymore?" I remember so clearly it being a question because I was fucking lost and BBC Sherlock was my refuge, anchor, thing that I could cling to as a source of enjoyment and escape and engagement. And it disappeared, nonsensically. There was no beauty to the unravelling, it just turned to crap on me. So if I sound like I'm being overly dramatic, trust that it’s coming from a real place, of just... complete disillusionment and disappointment. And to be not only without that refuge, but to have it turn into something grotesque that appalled me on a number of levels... that was just insult to injury.

“Breaking up with the show“ actually felt like a real-life relationship breakdown. Recently, I remember reblogging that post by alecslightvood:

one of the saddest things is when a show you invested so much of your time into and became emotionally attached to seriously fucks up and you are no longer captivated by it whether it’s because of illogical plots with zero substance, ooc characters, sexist writing or because the show kills off and treats minorities horrendously, and all you have left is this bitterness at how things turned out because something that once made you happy now leaves you emotionally and mentally drained.

and I remember tagging it: "it feels like being betrayed, the mixture of heartbreak frustration and disbelief, 'why are you doing this?', 'you're not who I fell in love with', 'you're not who I thought you were', 'you're not who I'd hoped you'd be', BBC Sherlock, I'm looking at you." Because my god, that descriptor fits Sherlock to a tee. I don't know what show they were talking about (the original post is gone,) but god that fits Sherlock so well.

I’m glad I jumped ship when I did (I actually mistyped “shit” there, guys, Freudian slip,) because honestly, I’m so so sorry for you guys that stuck it out. I had some closet hope for your wishes and genius plots (the ones you wove, not theirs) to come together in a beautiful climax that would justify everything. That would have been glorious.

But as it is. You are allowed to dump this show. You are certainly not alone. And I highly recommend it. The reason I’m pleased with this shows catastrophic fall (hah,) amidst the outrage and frustration, is because to be rid of it is freeing. To be rid of the quietly-but-growing-louder queer-baiting queer-bashing woman-hating show that does everything it can to insult the majority of those minorities who watch it, that insults the intelligence of its viewers with stupidity while screaming that it's the best... That's a good thing.

[janiedean]

Why is Kylo even considered abusive tho

...... hahaha. uhm. this is gonna be fun.

(ps: anyone who hates kylo or reylo pls skip this post okay? k.)

people have decided that any relationship (not even romantic, any) that’s like, even moderately problematic or not healthy or in between a villain and a hero is inherently abusive, because of course EVERYTHING is abusive now, and villains that aren’t, er, how we shall say, Approved By Tumblr Standards, are inherently horrible abusive people;

kylo is, sadly, technically a mix of All the things tumblr finds automatically problematic in someone, ie that he’s: a) white, b) a cis man, c) comes from a **privileged background** (let’s just say that for the sake of simplicity), d) has obvious anger issues, e) a villain, f) heterosexual as far as we know (or better: we don’t know he’s not, but you know that for people on tumblr when they hate someone and their sexuality isn’t specified straight becomes the default because obviously if u r evil then you have to be straight. ofc kylo could be bi for all we know, but never mind that, right?), g) not conventionally attractive (or, in tumblr lingo, UGLY, because of course everyone’s canon of beauty is the same!!), which means that given point one above, he’s of course abusive, not even a shred of doubt given. (of course if one or more of these fail to happen, tumblr does the contrary and excuses whatever the bad person does but I’ll shut up before I say things I’ll regret.)

which means that of course any rship he could have with rey is abusive when it’s fucking dumb because in order for a relationship to be abusive you actually have to know that person and be in a relationship of any kind with them - your parents can be abusive (but they’re your parents and you grew up with them), a friendship can be abusive (but then you have had to know this person and be friends with them), a romantic relationship can be (but you have to actually be in love with them or at least be together), and kylo and rey have no such relationship because they met, he captured her, they had their mind-force argument where he tried to get inside her head and she got into his (compare that with what happened with poe I mean XDDD) and then they fought and the next time they met each other it was through the force bond and then you can say they developed a relationship.... where she was the one pretty much taking the first step most of the time and where she saw that there was some good in him? I mean, there’s no bloody way any of that falls under abusive relationship. is it problematic? obviously it has problematic elements because any relationship you have with a dude or woman you fought with/tried to kill/is on your opposite side of the fence can’t not have problematic elements. is it 100% fluff unicorns and rainbows? no. but like, from that to say he’s abusive in general is ridiculous, at most he could be to hux but I mean kylo and hux are generally terrible to each other in turn and that relationship is your usual rival/hateship that’s been around since the beginning of times. at most it’s mutually toxic if you ask me, and anyway no one who ships either reylo or kylux goes around saying it’s The Purest Ship, or at least no one who’s not the usual bad apple that you find in any shipper group.

this also is a perfect mirror of how people on tumblr can’t distinguish what’s coded as abusive and what’s not, because if there is one relationship in the new trilogy that’s explicitly coded as abusive it’s.... snoke and kylo, and kylo is not the abusive part, he’s the abused part of it. I mean, tlj made it overtly clear and the point is that whether you like it or not this guy has been groomed/tormented/lied to by snoke (who is, uh, THE BONAFIDE BAD GUY I mean guys it’s star wars being the palpatine stand-in in the dark side part should say everything really) same as palpatine did to anakin and guess what kylo wants to be anakin/thinks that he’s honoring his grandfather’s footsteps it’s kind of heavily implied, and while obviously there’s no overt sexual subtext because it’s still a disney movie made for kids too I’m fairly sure it’s kind of very subtly implied and other people wrote about it more in-depth than me, but tldr: kylo’s issues (he’s unstable, he’s angry, he doesn’t really know what he wants, he’s volatile and blah blah blah) are all direct consequences of a) being heavily force sensitive, b) feeling like his family failed him (and luke AGREES because wow what did he do before they fought in tlj? apologize to him for failing him, and if you don’t think that han let him kill him also because he thought he failed him idk what movie you watched), c) being groomed and lied to by the evil bad guy of the situation for most of his life, which makes... him... an abuse victim.

of course, tumblr has a really unhealthy approach to how you get to be an abuse victim, which is a whole other wasp nest, but basically on this bloody website anyone who doesn’t meet the Good Victim Standard (ie: they fight against their abuser immediately, they do Good Things, they Show Clear Morals and it’s obvious that They Are Good Guys) is automatically Not A Good Victim and is therefore denied any basic empathy/decency, and anyone who tries to be nice to them or to help them out is there to help the villain’s storyline HOW BAD, OR, if the Bad Victim dares being a man, of course it’s all OH MY GOD CHARACTER X IS GETTING SACRIFICED ON THE ALTAR OF Y’S STORYLINE AND THEIR MANPAIN, because of course if you’re a man you can’t, like, suffer, without it being manpain and not, like, legitimate feelings. which means that poor kylo cannot win because even when the story is coded otherwise and rey helping him out/wanting to reach the good part of him/seeing him as ben solo/etc people don’t see it as, like, rey being a good person and regular character development (nvm that the entire point of the light side in SW is, like, forgiveness, but okay then), but as her character being sold off for the male’s development or whatever else they think it is. which is obviously not true, but the fact that you take a character who has being a decent person in their basic traits and think that in order to Be A Good Person they should want to murder their adversary who is most obviously coded as someone who needs help and has issues but not as the ultimate bad guy rather than, like, did what rey did in tlj ie trying to help them out, says more about whichever anti thinks such things (ie: nothing good) than about the sw writers or whatever. I mean, I unfollowed people for reblogging fanart where rey killed kylo and finn/poe were doing the cheerleading and not just because I don’t want that kinda toxicity but also because it’s absolutely OOC that finn, poe or rey would cheerlead each other over murdering anyone that’s not snoke or the likes -

ah, but wait, who killed snoke?

I mean, given that kylo killed the guy who abused him for years because he threatened to murder the one person who had taken the effort to be nice to him and see his side of the story I think that it’s fairly obvious that he’s not abusing anyone himself and that next movie he’s going back to the light side no question also because they’re not gonna kill the last character with direct skywalker lineage around.

but of course most people around here can’t see past their own preconceptions and don’t understand that if you want to care for mentally ill people/abuse victims you also have to give a fuck about the kylo rens and not just about the finns. let’s just put it out there, I care about finn more than I care about kylo and I’m light side trash so of course I’m into the character and I love that finn understood at once he couldn’t kill people and defected and I love the journey he had, but you can’t just support the people that immediately see the way out and do things the way Good People Are Supposed To Behave. because if you support the finns but ditch the kylo rens then you really will end up with horrible people, because if someone who has the potential to not be a terrible person is left to their own thing without anyone trying to help them out of course they’ll convince themselves they’re not worth it and the more time passes the worst they get. and you can’t go around parading that you care about victims/mentally ill people/abuse victims/whatever if you only think the good ones are worth it. it’s such a calvinist way of thinking that makes my skin crawl tbh but then again tumblr is puritan calvinism hell so what do we even expect.

tldr: because tumblr is calvinist af without knowing it and because people have decided to give up on text comprehension for the joy of being asses to anyone who actually enjoys fictional villains, characters who aren’t necessarily the heroes and the likes.

and before anyone decides to murder me for the above and thinks that I’m a ride or die kylo fan or whatever, I’ll close this saying that: in tfa I really couldn’t care less about kylo (really, I was 100% indifferent), my favorite new trilogy character is actually poe which I find way more interesting/relatable/whatever than i could find kylo, my main ship investment in the new trilogy is finn/poe and before tlj I couldn’t care less for reylo (after... well it���s obvious I’m shipping it, but I started when it turned out to have infinite h/c potential/redemption arc potential because that’s what appeals to me in ships, I don’t care for mutual rivalships/hateships or villain/hero ships just for that, I only am into it if there’s the whole potential h/c angle so I wasn’t into it from the get-go). but I’ve liked enough characters who had stuff in common with kylo to at least recognize the pattern and I’d be fairly not coherent if I stanned theon and hated kylo on principle. ah, and I don’t find kylo particularly attractive either (honest I’d take oscar or john over adam any moment if I had to pick based on attractiveness level to me), but I also don’t feel the need to shame poor adam driver over it, especially when I think it’s a very good thing that people find attractive a type that’s not very hollywood-common and that’s actually considered not pretty/beautiful by canonical standards, so I mean, who cares. but it’s a question of intellectual honestly. *shrug*

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