#oh my god im so sorry for this its so fucking long

[haveihitanerve]

Clarissa’s DIY Wedding- Watched it premier yesterday but didn't write any commentary because i was busy laughing at it with my friends but now i get to watch it again and write commentary so here ya go!:

The way AJ immediately marches across stage to snatch Luke’s hand and Luke just gets up and is like ‘alright then- are you the girl or am i?’

“Theres the turnpike!” *laughs* “and I know what that is!” Guessing by AJ’s wide eyes, he does not, which is precisely why Luke said it XD

Luke: *giggles* AJ: *stops his entire speech just to stare judgmentally for a few seconds*

OH MY GOSH HES PROPOSING!!!!

“I wanted you to be my wife, Suzanne.” AJ!!!! FIRST MINUTE AND YOU REALLY MESSED UP ALREADY??????? Smh boi…

“Mark and… Suzanne.” Luke glaring at AJ. Turns to audience like- you guys seeing this shit?

Oh it took Sam a second to get the joke- perfect

Trying to salvage the situation, but gonna actually make it worse, we love it

“No-hold on-what?” AJ breaking bc ‘wtf Sam?? Interrupting my proposal??? Really??’

“Oh ma god.” AJ ur Mark- not Clarrisa- *GASP* MAYBE HE WAS TRYING TO MAKE HIMSELF CLARISSA TO BE GA- wait no he’s mark… nevermind

“Clarissa Suzanne Jenkins.” Lifesaver Sam, but Aj’s already plotting murder

AJ dropping his hands… sigh sam

“HUAHHH!” AJ literally flinching at Sam’s scream- lmaooo

“What are you doing picking up your phone when you got a proposal going on???” As if he could've ignored it sam…

“You’d forget your own name-” *breaks completely*

“Suzanne you always do things like this..” Idk if its Tom or Sam wheezing in the background, either at AJ committing to Suzanne, or at “you always do this!” especially because he’s changed registers and is now lightly female and bronx?? Instead of his previous deep voice

“It was.. My.. moooom.” AJ cracking a smile. “So what?” 

“Im sorry that you don't have a great rela-” Tom: *prematurely starts ooooohing* Luke i thought you were trying to salvage the situation and actually get the marriage going- not insult him and make it worse-

They’re never getting married if they keep getting offended

The benefits of marrying Tom- he’ll give you his actual wedding ring lol. Good thing in this case- because AJ is fucking chucking it, but wtv y'know

“Ow!” Sam its a tense scene! You can’t make both of them break!!! XD

*trips on chair* Sam: *laughs at his pain* Luke: *also smirks*

Sam excellent stagecraft as always

“Hey mark.” Shit aj did not want to be part of the next scene lol

Sam is killing this drunk dad voice wth-

“Little dick!” thats not an insult- big dick

“What?” AJ is genuinely hurt damn XD

*opens second fridge to get more beer*

“You killed her!” woah plot point- whattttt

“You were the one that didn't stop me getting in the car!” Sam almost breaking and Luke slowly folding behind AJ because ‘wow sam. Dark’

Luke: *does disappointed hand over face* Sam: *does his classic- fist against mouth to stop laughing*

OH SHIT!!! THEY’RE THROWING HANDS!!!

Yet another beer

“Now if she wants to do a wedding she can fucking do it herself.” brilliant work AJ. Absolutely flawless. Yes, get it back on track to the other half of the title!!! Excellent

Luke slowly loosing it as Sam takes “a call”

“Mark! MAARRK!” *silence as AJ casually lets him suffer* 

LOOK AT AJ’S GRIN!!!! Hes sitting casually in his chair, just watching Sam, grinning. Payback for… something

“MAAARRK!!!” Tom ending the scene, thank you sir- though I do wonder how long AJ would have let it go on for…

Oh a Tom and Luke scene! This should be fun! 

“I just feel like SHIT right now.” … “you're not shut.” Brilliant motivational speech Tom, truly. Wow. I feel so much better now XD

“And you know what? Even if you were-were.” tom laughs quickly, Luke snorts. “If you were-were” ahh i love it when they commit “if you were shit, anyone would be lucky to have you inside their bowels.” … honestly? That would make me feel better. Nice. 

Tom keeps going, love it king- “you're digesting, oh whats this!- its a beautiful angel.” awwwww

Tom being a feminist yesss!!! Slay diva!!!

“So how do I get him back?” LUKE! NO! SELF WORTH!!!! I don't think he understood a word of the message- but also he does need to make a DIY wedding happen so…

Aj is genuinely curious- leaned forward- and oh he laughed! yay!

“The other people in this restaurant apparently have ideas.” Yesss i love when they include the audience!

“I heard an old lady say lingerie.” Luke i cant-

TOM IS STEALING PEOPLES ALCOHOL NOW????? WHAT IS THIS XD

“We’ve got a brit here. Honey-” his little bend down- 

AJ confusing everyone- love it XD

“Blessed with two names, but only one heart and that heart is damaged.” damn Tom is being poetic ok-

“The restaurant used to be a church.” never thought i’d see the day where AJ is the one keeping the plot on track-

“I'VE JUST HAD A GODDAMNED FUCKING BRILLIANT IDEA!” of course you have Tom, lets hear it

“I meant you do it yourself-” Tom walks away in disappointment- this time because of Luke- wow they’re really switching it up lol

“You are my dad so that makes sense-” what XD

“And if he turns you down” *we interrupt this conversation to brush away a lock of Luke’s hair* “he doesn't know what he’s missing.” Tom- 

“You're such a good friend.” oh the audience didn't like that-

Sam laughing off screen-

“I think the other *laughs* drunk British restaurant goers think theres something between us.” Tom you literally made something between you- or was the hair brush “not meant to be sexy” 🙄 lol

Platonic high five 😭

“Silly. *head lowers an insane amount to be near Luke’s shoulder before reconsidering* no. *pats leg awkwardly*” is no one gonna end the scene for them lmaoo????

“Ah.” waiting awkwardly for an indication of who tf this character is. “father.” sam: that helped not at all in the slightest, thanks AJ

“Mark! Mark, right? Or mr. wilson, let me put my glasses on!” smooth sam, XD, very smooth

Luke laughing

“Its mark.” thank you!

Luke and Tom just enjoying the show :D 

“Someone else die?” way to be sensitive Sam what???

“I don't know if I want to be here-” *while laughing* AJ never change, thats brilliant

“Come on come on come on!” AJ: *turns around grinning, looks at the audience* Sam: *like a creepy dude inviting you into his van* come oooonnn Luke: *laughing* AJ: this guys a dick! :) 

“Thank you so much Tim.” i wonder how he came up with that brilliant name… (no ok guys you don't understand the amount of times i've had to gone back to edit because i accidentally wrote tim instead of tom is making me go insane-)

“You should hear this boys soprano.” Sam trying to get Tom to sing, instead of AJ like usual XD

“Should i stay or should i go?” Tom unsure of if he belongs in the scene-

“And ill watch…” The silence

“Raise your hand if you’ve got a mom!” damn…damn sam

“How- how are you?” the voice cracks- “good good.” Sam thats traumatizing please stop-

The look Tom gives him- XD

“Sometimes i'm not sure about this career path.” Sam, Tom, and AJ all laughing

“Hehehehe yeah:).... yeah:(“ Tom- oh you sweet precious child-

The slow zoom in as Tom’s detailing Father… Petronus? As Aj is slowly going mad

“He has a good heart-” “yeah yeah!” “but the stuff that comes oit of him-” “its just awful. *shakes head.*” i am loving this interruption business they've got going on, peak

“Hes aggressive, hes rude-” I think this is one of those- is he talking about the character or Sam moments lol

“We’re not even in a booth.” Sam laughing- having flashbacks to “i think someone wants to come into the outside. Where we are” 

“Its not a toilet dude.” for once, AJ isn’t the confused dude messing up scenes XD this is insane!! Lol (not that we don't love the chaos he brings, but its usually him, not luke lol)

“You know my child-” like he’s not about twenty years younger-

Wow Tom being poetic again- “and meet you in the-in your home.” what. 

“Come on man, it aint a theology clas-” “WAIT ONE MINUTE!” you tell him Tim!

Aj’s side glance at Tom in concern- 👀

“Oh shit i really gotta confess-” Luke is just committing to the bit now, love that- and it causes AJ to have to bite his tongue in laughter

Sam alone in a scene, lovely

Sound effects??? Sam’s look of confusion, before resuming his stagecraft

Tom creepin in the background????

AJ loosing it as Sam spots him-

“Thought i saw death for a second there-” lmaoo what???

Tom just disappearing behind the curtain randomly?? XD what is this play anymore

Now AJ remerging??? Mid scene?? What is going on 😭

AJ: *gestures for Tom to join him* oh so we’re doing a split screen scene acting stuff, got it

Aj and tom holding fingertips XD so cute

“Never wanna see those two in the same room” its like Batman and Bruce Wayne- I’m not saying Sam is both the father and the priest- but also i've never seen the two of them together-

AJ’s smile is sooo big and Tom has no idea whats going on- this is amazing

“I feel like i should try to stop you from stealing my best friends mothers money” Tom, no sweety- he means pizze dough- hes the baker dude- your dad!!!

“I didn't just randomly steal-” Both AJ and Tom breaking together- cuties- also, Tom??? Where did you think he was trying to take the story??? Sub plot of a thief??? what XD

Luke’s shoulders shaking with silent laughter as Sam has to look away to not break

“Some weird subplot-” thats what im saying??? Tom??? “I thought you were a thief.” yeah no we got that sweety- XD

Luke needing to fully cover his mouth with his laughter

“Look at my shoulders.” Sam casually pretending that Luke is yawning to cover his break

“Look at my- look at my characterization!” Tom you’ve broken AJ-

Tom: *glances over at Luke and Sam, sees Luke stroking an unconscious Sam’s head, goes ‘wtf im staying out of that’ and looks back at AJ*

AJ is done with Tom XD

Tom, of all people: Im glad we’re all on the same page. AJ laughing from off stage and Sam chuckling in sleep because yeah, now you are

“Thats not very long. *laughs*” Tom never change XD also- AJ cackling in the background

“Im sorry honey, i didn't mean to attack you.” If Tom and Luke had been the ones in the first scene, we probably already would have been at the wedding by now lol

“How long has this ring been in any generations?!?!” Ok, i take it back- if Aj and Tom had started the first scene, they would have been married by now, idk why Luke is choosing violence today but ok lol

Also- don't attack his real ring Luke! Ur just mad that AJ didn't have a real one to give you aren't you… XD

Tom: *eats the ring* tom baby what- its mime, you could've stuck it in your pocket- y'know what whatever 

“Keep your mouth shut!” Tom’s little “what else am i supposed to do???” shrug is amazing

AJ doesn't remember Tom’s name- “amandas got a throat infection-” thank you luke

“You okay?” “mmm.” “Good to see you.” “MMM.” someone has a little bit of pent up anger/jealousy

“Everyone deserves for them to come to your home.” … AJ, darling, baby, sweetheart, i know thats what tom said but what-

Luke casually dragging him closer, as if that'll make it easier to understand not hear

“So that you can apologize.” ok- ok-, sweetheart, i agree that technically Luke is in the wrong. But that is not how you go about saying it baby-

Tom’s finger on his lip- the pose

Grabbing the wine- the pose

“So you're not gonna come into my home?” no AJ, baby i don't think so 🤧

“Honey, if you don't mind me saying, i think you're being a bit of a bitch.” *laughs* gotta agree, just apologise Luke XD

Tom smacking Sam-

“I HATE YOU!” Aj thats terrifying- Tom’s hands on his chest in *gasp*- Sam’s jaw dropping-

Oh stagecraft- he went around Luke to exit through the door not the wall, nice :) 

“You can come out from behind the curtain.” AJ:*deer in headlights*.... *goes behind the curtain*XD

“Got the fuckin money-” sprints off stage- AJ i love you XD

The way Tom and AJ hover together off stage, leaned into each other ugh my heart so cute-

Now we get a montage of Sam doing DYI actor work- ill try to mention each thing as much as possible but we’ll see

Hold on- Sam is an actor pretending to be an actor who is pretending to act out DIY stuff. Everyone got that? Good ok moving on-

“You know that song?” oh aj the power you've given him- “:) sing it for me.” 

AJ’s personal rendition of I don't need a man by the pussycat dolls??

Flawless singing as always- and nice backing vocals

The other three are thoroughly enjoying this lol-

“Cause i am enough!” luke- hey luke- would you even say you are… kenough???

“Oh didn't you recognize me?” Oh its time for Tom’s payback-

“Even though my posture makes it clear-” ok to be fair to AJ he does change between a hunchbacked old man and a 6’0 tall young man, so like… there

Btw Sam is currently hanging and straightening a picture frame or smth in case you were curious

“Unless he comes here by coincidence.” nice set up luke, very nice

Tom: *another motivational speech or whatnot* Sam: *mixing cement and throwing it at the audience* AJ: *throwing pizze dough into the air and feeding Sam*

“Im 14 years old. Thats a *holds up his hands* one and a four” Tom i love you, please keep playing these young characters-

Luke, you gotta get better at apologies, but i suppose that works- and Sam is currently chopping wood???

“Hes telling me how small my dick is-” Sam: *leaves the stage because his time has come*

“Oh what a shame- your mic isn't on.” *giggles* Luke laughing

“MARK!!!” not this again- XD

AJ’s hand flailing from backstage to tell Sam to stfu (i almost wrote sfth)

Oop nevermind he was summoning him-

“I don't like seeing him sad okay?” The windup Luke does holy shit its brilliant-

“You're always making him sad you piece of shit!” Yes!!!! Clarissa and Mark might not be the best relationship- but they care about each other and its beautiful!!! Defend him to his dad Luke!!! Even while you guys are fighting!!! Yes queen!!!

“Mark im sorry.” “oh you should go then.” the snort of laughter from both Sam and AJ into the mic- precious

“There was like- 50 people with pizzas walking down the street.” “and we immediately assumed “huh must be a wedding!”” thank you sam XD

Both AJ and Sam laughing into the mic again- XD. istg when they’re off stage- and looking at each other they are much less composed and honestly i love it

“Boop.” oooooh clever Luke. soooo cute

Sam is back with a really loud power tool

“Sorry could you mime that instead?” ok- recap- Sam is an actor pretending to be an actor who is miming miming for a DIY wedding. Everyone good? Good. 

“You put the ring on with your tongue!” Tom’s little pose-

“I got the tongue! :D”... “but you still choose him- okay.” Amanda? You're so underappreciated girl

Luke turning after the crowd cheers because hes confused- “what?” 

“No, im playing!” Tom crossed back to him so fast. Really wanted to be the relationship in this one huh? “I mean you’re wrrrgh but you know” (whoever is doing the subtitles thank you i really needed a way to spell the sound he makes)

“You're hot but it was a lust thing so you just-” sounds like a guy who just got denied-

“We could have a threesome- idk” AJ concerned if he should enter the scene or not-

Tom’s little peck on Luke’s shoulder 😭

Also currently Sam has been digging himself into a hole btw

And now hes struggling to pull himself out- anyway back to the main play-

“Oooah!” AJ like jumped back lmaooo

When Luke looked at Tom i really thought he was about to steal his ring for AJ-

“In perfect soprano.” *starts really low*

“I… was drunk driving-” Tom biting his lip to not laugh- Sam full on laughing, AJ’s hidden smile of “h w h a t.” and luke… i cant see his face but im sure hes smiling

Awwww the hug is really cute my heart🤧

“Does anyone else have a fuckin-” “STOP THAT WEDDING!” sam with his three personalities

Luke folding in disappointment as AJ just laughs

“Ill watch.” sam. I beg of you- please no

Sam alternating between Ma and Preacher dude and Dad 

“Then, in slow motion,” ok Tom-

Ok the kiss is actually adorable tho-

Its so gentle, the way AJ cups Luke’s face, lukes hands on his waist/back, the way AJ then dips him, adorable

And the hug afterwards- im gonna cry its so sweet- theyre so sweet

AND SCENE! Yay!!! Thanks for reading another SFTH play by play, grateful as always, until next time, probably tmr, anyway, byebye!

@dawn-speckled  @snek-of-eden

[skitskatdacat63]

hi catie u can write as many paragraphs on any film that u watch!!! i think that would be neat :)

also DISCLAIMER i havent watched killers of the flower moon, nor have i fully researched the real life event, but i feel like one of the reasons that people think it’s peak cinema is that it’s really really long and (i am assuming) that it has some interesting cinematography?

idk it reminds me of oppenheimer (film i actually watched). like its good-ish, super lengthy, and portray historical events. the visuals were fantastic but i don’t think it was absolutely perfect and the best film of the century, etc etc…

i honestly dont know where i was going with this so sorry for the super lengthy ask 😭

OKAY THEO THANK YOU FOR FREEING ME FROM THE SHACKLES OF MY INSECURITY

Okay as a preface. Watched this with my mom who read the book it's based off of, so that's an additional perspective I'm gonna touch on, and also was very glad to have. And also YES I HAVE SEEN OPPENHEIMER!!!! Seriously my ultimate film of 2023, probably one of my favorite movies I've ever watched. And I guess I thought that, because I enjoyed that, I would enjoy Killers of the Flower Moon(KotFM from now on), for the exact reasons you stated! Also I'm trying to watch all the oscar nominated best pictures before the event lol!

I will rant now, thank you :)

I'm sorry but like I genuinely don't understand how it's so highly acclaimed???? Like how are all the popular/majority of reviews positive?? Did we watch the same film????? Have I somehow lost my taste for cinema???? It's just like, any argument I've seen about why it's actually amazing is so easy to dispute??

"It's about how evil can be done by normal people and that's why it's from the perspective of the perpetrators blah blah" Well, I just watched The Zone of Interest, and I think it portrayed that concept wayyyyy better. Everything was so off-putting and disturbing, and it was from the perspective of the perpetrators, just like KotFM! And you literally never see those getting murdered, because it's all off screen and yet you still feel disgusted and feel terrible about what's happening, even though you didn't techinally see anything that happened. Meanwhile in KOTFM, the Osage are there on screen, actively being exploited and murdered, and I just don't feel attached to any of it, because it wasn't fleshed out well. And to add on, my mom said so much of the stuff involving Leo's character, yknow the character they picked as the main character instead of the actual Native Americans, was just completely made-up! Wasn't in the book at all!!! Martin Scorcese said that he read the book, and immediately thought that it was a book that needed to be adapted to film. And then just fucking makes up shit???? Yes certainly you have to add narrative stuff into a movie when adapting from a book, but to just make so much shit up just so you can portray it from a different angle is so bullshit to me.

"Every minute in the almost 3½ hour runtime is justified" I am convinced people are straight up lying, I'm sorry. It's not like I don't enjoy long movies! Loved Lawrence of Arabia, that's literally almost 4 hours long. Loved Oppenheimer, that's 3 hours long. I like long movies but oh my god, this was just a complete slog. And I kept seeing people say that the last hour was the best, well I'm sorry but after having to sit through 2½ torturous hours, I just have no mental energy left for what's apparently called the best part. I hate that people always start calling movies with long runtime cinema. Yes there are movies I definitely think are worth the long runtime; this one was not one of them.

"The main heart of the movie is the romance" Oh my god, this bugs me so much. I was so happy about Lily Gladstone winning and being in teh running for awards....until I watched the actual movie. Her romance with Leo's character literally makes no sense, and I felt just so ???? about it. The movie wants you to think they're so compelling and that it's so unfortunate that Leo's character is doing these terrible things to this woman he loves and her family, but they literally spent zero time fleshing the relationship out???? It was literally like, oh hey they're in a relationship now, don't really get why, but okay. There's actual reasons about why she would marry him(she literally needs a white man's permission to get access to her own money), but no nooooo they're so in love. There is zero build up. She knows he wants her money, he has literally zero charm, and yet she marries him and says "yeah I know he wants my money, but he's handsome!!" In what world!?!?!?? And a lot of the last section is like, awww they're hugging...even tho he murdered her whole family. And its just you get zero sense of any love between them, because they failed to build it in the first place, and certainly you could make this plot compelling but it's just not!!! It's not!!!!!

Another thing is that for basically all of the movie, I really couldn't get a grasp of anything that was going on. It didn't feel like a connected narrative for me, it felt like vignettes. Like, oh hey we're in this scene now I guess, I don't really know how this connects, or whats going on, or where we are in the story! It just felt very discombobulating for me, maybe I'm stupid, but I couldn't get a grasp on it. And I basically knew the plot, and so did my mom of course, but neither of us could really follow it so, maybe that's not a me problem, but a problem with the film! And I think vignettes can be used well, I thought The Zone of Interest did it really well, where you're just voyeuristiclly watching the family, and there's really no narrative, bur it was really effective. KofFM was more like, oh they're trying to tell a story here, but just not ...well. it's even worse when it's so long, because you're just feeling constantly unconnected from the story and its a slog and it's terrible, etc etc. You're just watching the characters fucking meander around, and you're like, man, would love it if it felt like the plot was actually progressing. And so much of it felt like the big events happened off screen, and you're kinda just told that they happened.

Also okay so the book itself is framed somewhat as a murder mystery. It's very well researched, and it slowly gives you the truth, as if you're learning it alongside the actual people involved. In the film, it's literally so obvious within the first 15 mins who the bad guys are. So you're just spending the whole film, watching all these characters(who you really have no reason to care about imo) die, and they all come off as so naive, and you're just furiously gesturing like "does no one notice these cartoonishly bad guys!?!?!?!?!" Yes, you can do a film where you know the truth from the beginning and watch the cast find out, that's a great concept! But this just made the native American characters come off as stupid and naive, and you're supposed to feel bad for them, and I do, but because I know the actial history, not because anything the film is showing me. Again, they don't flesh out the characters well at all imo, so you watch then die, and you're like, okay this person died, this is a depressing situation, but god, can they figure it out already. Again, the narrative with Lily Gladstone's character is that she loves her husband, so she can't really see what's going on. But. That love is not believable. And before they're in love, she's very suspicious of him, and yet now somehow when he's killing off her whole family, it's fine?????

Ugh okay yeah I don't know what else to say, except thst I just feel like I wasted so much of my time, and it really sucked out my energy. I'd like to be more concise, and I probably have more complaints but again, it really just killed my brain. And also that's its very frustrating and isolating when you hated a film, and then all the reviews are extremely positive and you can't see where any of them are coming from. The funniest part is that my mom and I are like wow this movie feels like it's been going on a while, let's check how much is left! Literally only halfway through. I really could not fully focus after that because I was like, I cannot do almost 2 more hours of this shit. I wanted to finish it because i was really hoping it would pick up, and I would realize why everyone likes it so much, but that never happened, I just felt increasingly bored and done with it. I think with Oppenheimer, a film I love, I was originally kinda unsure but as it kept going, I fell in love with it and didn't want it to end; so I guess I was hoping that would happen with this and it never did. It just got increasingly more boring for me, and I just got more aggravated about it. Also cannot believe I saw reviews saying of Scorcese's films, this one was better than The Departed. Absolutely no way.

Anyways this was extremely salty, oops. Wish I could get those 3 hours back, and watch some other movie instead. I wanted to watch Dallas Buyers Club or Tár, but I just feel like I've wasted enough mental energy tonight. Also lol, kept meaning to post this but it's deranged, but I'm talking about movies already and my brain is all over the place so might as well! I really want to rewatch Interstellar, but I feel like it'll completely emotionally destroy me again so I can't. Y'know when you just like a movie so much and ir means so much to you that it's just way too emotionally investing to rewatch!?!??! But I keep thinking about it, bcs im super into matthew mcconaughey rn, but god I really can't or I'll just be sobbing and hurting.

* oh also. My original complaint abt this was that they used a historically inaccurate word. They used the word "genocide" which certainly describes the situation they're in, BUT THAT WORD WAS NOT INVENTED YET!!!!! It's so easy to check that??? Like we know when and who coined it???? Little things like that really bug me, sorry LOL. Its like man, you can't check that one little thing??

[bluestjayy]

fck stop begging for comments on here all the damn time. i did like u as a writer but its getting so pathetic and annoying now jus begging constantly. Ur writing isn't that good for getting tonnes of comments anyway half the time Ur dragging plots and characters r so uninteresting probs coz Ur on here begging instead of writing properly. every update feels rushed lately it shows u don't even care anymore. just stop begging and focus on updating instead that's all pppl want

Hey anon, I normally don't respond to rude asks like these because I think what you want is the attention.

I especially don't usually respond to asks that have, in any way, anything to do with begging or demanding I update my fics (and I have seen an uptick in those in recent months) but I'm gonna respond to this one, and by proxy, all the others currently sitting unread in my inbox, and any future asks of this nature that may come my way.

Buckle in, this is a long one.

First, I'm going to assume by 'begging for comments' you mean the few posts I have been reblogging over the past couple of days that encourage readers on AO3 to engage with authors by leaving positive and thoughtful comments, and discouraging them from making unreasonable and impersonal demands. If this is the case then I would like to clarify that I am not 'begging for comments', rather I am supporting a community of writers like myself who are actual human beings who take several hours, days, even weeks, out of our very real lives in order to make something and share it with the world and for some reason are beginning to see a trend of entitlement slowly growing across our comment sections. A trend we wish to nip in the bud because, as I previously pointed out, fanfiction authors are real life human beings, taking time out of their days to make something, not machines on a factory line that churn out content at the behest of someone's demands. We want our fandoms and communities to be safe, supportive spaces where we can have fun. We don't want them to become workloads that begin to feel like full time jobs.

Secondly, to say my writing isn't all that good but in the same message tell me to update? Wild my guy. Truly. But let's keep breaking down AO3 comments/kudos/general feedback (such as this delightful ask you sent my way, I guess hoping it would make me want to update??) from readers and how this can affect an authors updates, this time using one of my favourite metaphors for this type of thing and see if it helps:

AO3 is a potluck. It's a backyard party. There is a veritable buffet at this party. My fic is the cake I baked myself to bring for all my friends to eat. One of my other friends brought potato salad. Another friend brought the punch. Everyone who is at this fun get-together brought something to offer at the buffet table.

Now, I might not like potato salad, but you know what I'm not going to do? Tell my friend to her face that her potato salad sucks and she never should have brought it. I'm going to politely pass on eating it, and be glad that all the people at the party who do like potato salad have something to eat. In the same vein, not everyone is going to like my cake, maybe the flavour is wrong, maybe I used too much icing, maybe they just don't like cake. But that's fine, they don't have to eat my cake. But if you choose to eat my cake, and find you don't like the flavour after taking a bite, then the polite thing to do is quietly stop eating the cake, and go and find something else to eat.

Do not seek me out and tell me to my face everything that was wrong with my cake, and why you don't enjoy it. Do not tell me to my face, that my cake sucks and you wish I'd never brought it.

Do you think telling someone that you hate the way they made a cake is a good and productive way to get them to keep making cakes for you? Or perhaps, is the way to keep an amateur baker wanting to bake, to tell them what you enjoyed about their cake. Even a simple, 'I really liked this cake' goes a long way.

And if you do like my cake, if you love my cake actually, do not then follow me home from the party and start demanding I make you cake all the time. I don't always have time to make cakes.

And just to cover all of my bases, because I am also seeing a trend of folk who think that sharing fanfiction online is the same as submitting manuscripts to publishers and that therefore criticism is allowed. It's not.

To continue to beat this cake metaphor. This is the difference between taking my cake to a party with friends (AO3) and taking my cake onto the Great British Bake off (A professional publishing environment).

If I wanted constructive criticism on my cake, I'd seek it out from expert bakers who know what they're talking about.

No one goes to a friend's party with a cake they made and wants to hear what they're doing wrong. Unless explicitly asked, keep your criticisms to yourself and put the cake down if you don't like it. It's so very easy to not eat a cake if you hate how it tastes.

Finally, a combination of both the points above, really, but I cannot stress this enough. These usernames you're sending anonymous asks to? The handles on AO3 you're writing comments for? They're people. They are human fucking beings that deserve respect and kindness. I am a human being. And sending what you sent up there to another person over fanfiction?? That's just mean, friend. That's just out and out cruelty. I have no other words to describe that.

I could give a flying fuck if you think I'm begging for comments. I could care less you wanna say my writing is terrible. At the end of the day, my writing is mine and I'm going to keep doing it because I find writing fun. It's a hobby that helps me de-stress from the horrors of my real life situations. Frankly, you should be begging me to stop because I have no plans to do anything but keep inflicting my drawn out plots and bad character writing on the world for as long as it keeps making me happy.

But I beg you to take a second off of social media today and think over what makes fandom- something that should be a hobby, a safe place to escape from the world- this serious for you. Because the kicker in all this? My friend, if you think what I post is annoying and my writing is bad, you can not see it. You can block me. You can click away from my stories. Your online space is yours to curate and no one, literally not a single person, is making you engage with things you don't want to engage with. Curate your space, fill it with people who aren't 'begging for comments', fill it with fics you think are really good and deserve to be told how good they are through wonderful comments. Please, I am begging you, because at the end of the day to live in such negativity must be so exhausting for you.

I've no idea if you, the original sender of this message will even read through all of this, but if you did, please, if not me, then any other fandom creators you come across going forward. Please treat them with kindness. Please respect that sometimes fandoms are spaces people hide in when their real lives are scary and frustrating and negative enough and all you do with messages like these is drive people away.

TL;DR: this is not the way you get more updates from fic authors, and further from that, it's not the way you treat anyone. Ever. Do better. Do much better.

[maraschinotopped]

undertale yellow. clutches head in anguish.

[beeduoo]

originnssssss who remembers origins i Loved origins

[volfoss]

it is beyond infuriating how anne rice seems to insist on marius being a positive force in anyone's life ever. like she can't fully commit to exploring the fact he groomed armand and has repeatedly taken away his consent for what marius thinks is best (take the end of TVA as an example) and just kind of flatly puts it in the narrative. there's not really much interest in how these horrific events make marius come across as the worst because EVERYONE loves him. for gods sake, lestat learns from armand exactly what marius did to him in TVL and then proceeds to go find marius and be super friendly to him in the same fucking book. even armand and pandora, two of the people who have MORE than enough right to hate him, do not. it doesnt feel like shes trying to explore the toxicity of the abusive dynamic he traps them in, it just is there. and like yeah ofc the toxic vampire romance series but i think that this should be handled with more care. and it is not ever really framed in a way that she is interested in exploring how marius should easily be one of the most horrific characters in this series because it kind of feels like sa/rape/grooming/other things of that sort are just put there to further plot and not to really get the respect that they deserve in a medium.

[boxwinebaddie]

oh freckle, freckle⠁.. what makes you so s p e c i a l?

[devotedlystrangewizard]

the school arc to me is so good because it drags ciel out of his position as a powerful figure and literally places him in the shoes of the person he could have been. the circus arc ALSO drags him out of his position as big bad queens watch dog/head of the phantomhive estate but the school arc feels like a mockery of a future that never was. this is what he could have been had his parents not died. and even then its NOT because he will never be that kid.

he never was.

[popstart]

the moment people stop being comically against courtney is the day i stop making fun of them for being weird and wrong. stop being weird about a fictional character in ways that are hilariously stupid and ill stop calling you hilariously stupid

[lecliss]

I'll never be able to take the theory that Vincent is Sephiroth's real father seriously cuz I cannot stress enough how important I think it is to the plot that Vincent wanted to fuck Lucrecia and did not get to.

[dragonji]

so that ending to he who drowned the world huh.

[kr-cube]

read a post that said chappell roan's music was boring as fuck and thought they were just being annoying on purpose. Sad to learn this person was right

[carwoodron]

every time i rewatch the chapel scene i feel like im losing my mind like that's real it's in there in the show it was written and filmed it's canon we didn't make it up it's not a dream or a collective hallucination. speirs just decided lip was due for some high praise and warm smiles in the candlelight and i just have to sit here and take it

[akascow]

just watched 21 jump street and looked up the cast bc thats what i do when i watch movies and found out that there was a tv show also named 21 jump street that the movie was a kinda sorta but not really sequel to the show and that the random cameo with johnny depp at the end was in fact not a random famous comedic actor cameo at all bc he was like the main character in the original tv show and that led me down a weird rabbit hole (incoming pun not intended) and learned about the other cops in that show one of them being Judy Hoffs which if youre like me ur former disney brain immediately connected that to Judy Hopps from zootopia and looked it up to see if it was intentional and apparently the name (and job) similarities were not supposed to be a reference on the zootopia team's part and its "just a play on how rabbits jump" and they were "unaware of the 21 jump street character when naming judy" which i think is some pretty big bullshit because theres no way a character who's first name is Judy and last name is hopps (spelled with two P's the way hoFFs is spelled) and just so happens to also be a young and brand new cop is just a crazy random coincidence

[agent37]

fun fact! this was both the last thing i made in 2022 and the first thing i made in 2023!

inspired by the video ever :3 rendog miku drop pop candy post frfr

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[hyp3rfixation-h3ll]

i have been Considering. watching sgt frog again. bc i stopped at around 119 . and it is a very fun show. but The Horrors