#oh my god I started making Pinterest boards for it too

[sarcasticratsims]

Drew Sam’s apocalypse design, I would have drawn Roy too but the motivation ran out

New seasick episode tomorrow, read this one if you haven't :)

| Beginning : Latest |

𓆝 𓆟 𓆞Seasick Tag List𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 @that1crowdude

@gvaudoiin-tricou

[kawowoa]

info : gn. reader, mechanic!toji, disabled!reader, reader has a missing leg n wears a prosthetic, fluff like a lot of it

mechanic!toji who typically only works on cars and motorcycles until you came along. he was surprised when you walked into his tiny shop with no car or anything; just you, your crutches, and a duffle bag that was testing your balance.

he was taken aback by your missing limb, but who was he to judge? he offered you to sit on his bench after making a small clearing—this was probably his wake up call to buy a chair.

mechanic!toji who questions why you’re in his shop. his first assumption was that you’re lost, his next was that your car was outside but you should your head, opening the duffle bag.

“the hell is this?”

“‘s my prosthetic leg! it fell apart on my run and this was the closest place. you do cars ‘n stuff right? you think you can fix it?”

mechanic!toji who just scoffs with a head shake, begrudgingly taking your duffle bag and pulling out the broke pieces of your prosthetic. it wasn’t a difficult fix, only a few screws missing that held the leg together and a few dents.

it didn’t take long for toji to finish, even in adding a few tweaks that made the mobility smoother. he didn’t charge you, even though you insisted. the whole process would’ve costed you a pretty penny, but he wouldn’t tell you that.

mechanic!toji who would help you every time you came back—which was a lot. he deducted you were clumsy as hell, or you just wanted to see him again which he didn’t mind.

“this y’er fourth visit this month. you scammin’ me or are ya just clumsy?”

“hey! my leg is just old, it breaks easily and i offer to pay each time but you refuse!”

mechanic!toji who makes you a new prosthetic leg that worked ten times better than your old one. it had more joint mobility and a cool cyber punk feel to it. he surprised you with it the next time you came with an issue with your old one.

mechanic!toji who starts dating you shortly after. you would always hang out at his shop, sitting on his bench—he still didn’t buy the chair—while you watched him work.

mechanic!toji who would try his best recreating different looks you show him from your pinterest board. as for payment? you just had to love it and give him a pretty smile.

“how’s this?”

“oh my god toji, it’s amazing! thank you so much, i love you!”

“yeah yeah, whatever. i love you too.”

[nappingmoon]

quick lil fluffy blurb about toji <33

thinking about married, domestic life with toji and you come home from coffee with your girlfriends to an empty house. you call out for him and hear a little "outside" ring in through the open window. its a beautiful late spring day as you walk onto your porch outside and see your husband, shirtless, hunched over what looks to be half of a cabinet, wooden planks and screws. you approach taking in the way the muscles in his back work in tandem with each other as he works to sand some of the edges of the wood. a bit of sweat drips down by his brow, the exertion taking its toll even as a light breeze whisks through the air. it catches in your dress, the soft fabric fluttering around your legs as you come to stand behind him.

"what are you making, toji? it's been a while since you've pulled out your woodworking stuff, did you find a new project?" you ask trying to peek at all of the pieces he has.

"saw ya geekin out over a cabinet on your pinterest board. figured it wasn't too hard ta make from scratch, no big deal or nothing. how was lunch with the girls?"

"what cab-" you start, but think back to the little board you had dedicated to pieces you wanted to decorate your home with. most of them were just fragments of a dream cottage you'd conjured in your head but recently, you couldn't stop thinking about maybe splurging on a gorgeous piece to give you a little more storage and a space to show off the books you had bought recently and the little clay statue your toddler made you in his art class. "shut up you are not making the white cabinet oh my god!" your voices rises nearly two octaves in excitement and disbelief. "how did you even see that! when did you get a pinterest account?"

"you made me get one so i could see the board you dedicated to us, princess. i hop on it every couple'a months ta see what you're thinking about. saw this thing ya keep adding to your collections and had some pieces left over after the swing chair. jus' bought a few more boards n' hinges. wanted to wait for you before getting paint in case you wanted a different color." you truly could burst from all of the love you had inside of you for this man. he wasn't always the best with words, but actions like these made reminded you every day why you said yes all those years ago.

left speechless, you simply lean over his back and throw your arms around his neck, pressing a big fat kiss to his cheek, hoping he feels the love radiate from you to him. "hey, get off, doll. m' all sweaty!" he says, bringing a hand to your shoulder and lightly pushing. you ignore his protest and tighten your arms before laying a small assault of kisses all over the side of his face. when you're satisfied, you pull back, seeing a small hint of fading red kiss marks left from your lip stick.

"thank you, toji. so much. can i help you with anything?" you ask, giddy.

"'ve got things covered here, doll. 'm a little thirsty though, would ya mind getting me a water or something?" he replies, and you twirl immediately, eager to fix him up a cold lemonade and some fruit. before you can get a step away and tell him 'of course,' his hand reaches up and grabs yours, tugging you back. you nearly fall but he's got you with a steady hand at the small of your back. he leans over and steals a kiss from your stunned form. "that's better. thanks babe." he says as he releases you, leaving a light pat on your butt before he crouches back down over the planks he still needed to sand.

what a gorgeous day.

[kbwrites]

JJK On The Road!

synopsis: how the jjk sorcerers are on a road trip—feat. Gojo, Geto, Shoko, Nanami, Haibara, Utahime

⚝a/n: I had to include baby boy Haibara.

⚝tags: headcanon, Nanami is an emo boy, Gojo is a danger to society.

They all decided to take a roadtrip after graduation… it goes a little something like this

Gojo insisted that he be the one to drive. You assumed that his six eyes would give him some kind of advantage on the road.

You were SO wrong.

Mans is a DEMON on the street. Swerving in and out of traffic, the car is either at 0 or full speed no in-between.

“Huh? Where’d that guy come from?”

“Satoru you literally cut him off-”

“The speed limit is 45”

“Yeah… but that’s more of a suggestion right??”

Of course it isn’t long before you hear the sirens closing in behind you.

“Lisence and registration please.”

“Of course Officer!”

…

“This is your high school ID”

“Oh! Well about that..”

It takes at least 5 years off your life when Satoru is behind the wheel. You somehow manage to arrive to the destination in one piece. Everyone curses him out for endangering their lives (and driving with no license)

“Okay but did you die though?”

Geto is in charge of the AUX (because last time Nanami made everyone cry)

Is the type to put on some chill oldies, and one Abba song (Because Satoru loves Abba).

Loves looking out the window and pointing out cool stuff, bums a cigarette off of Shoko to deal with the stress of Satoru's driving.

“Hey. look at that huge tree.”

The car swerves.

“Wait I don’t see anything!”

“Not you Satoru…”

Is obviously shotgun so he tries his best to stay awake, probably ends up reading a book he brought or reminding Satoru to actually pay attention to the rules of the road.

Shoko is already bored when the car starts, plays “I Spy” with Suguru for all of 3 minutes before falling asleep. After her nap she wakes up and starts taking pictures. Can make even the most mundane thing like riding in car look like an aesthetic Pinterest board. Sneaks pictures of Nanami when he isn’t looking.

“Everyone smile.”

“Wait hold on I want to be in the picture too!”

“Satoru you’re DRIVING.”

Ends up vlogging the trip, texting Utahime to confirm Satoru hasn’t killed them yet.

Nanami did NOT want to go on this trip AT ALL. He was basically forced by Gojo (then coerced by Haibara). He sulks and looking out the window and sighing.

“Nanami stop being Emo”

“I am NOT Emo..”

“Will you stop sulking if I play My Chemical Romance?”

“....”

Brings his DS or something, shows Haibara his animal crossing world. Actually freaks out when Satoru takes a ‘scenic detour’ which adds 3 hours to the trip.

Haibara is in charge of the snacks. And thank god for snacks. 

Brings one cooler for everyone else and one cooler just for Satoru cause that boy can EAT.

Feeds Nanami trail mix

Talks Nanami’s ear off about how excited he is to be done with school </3. Tries to impress Suguru and Satoru by listing off fun facts about each area they drive through.

“Did you know that this is actually the longest stretch of road in the country?”

“Wow. That’s really Something.”

“Did you know that the native flower of this region is the hibiscus?”

“Uh huh.”

“Did you know that AHHH”

 Satoru swerves the car again, everyone gets thrown around the car.

Utahime  refuses to ride in a car with Gojo driving, so she meets up with you guys in her own car.

[wytybbyds]

He won’t tho

(pic is swdwcdsbb on pinterest)

Pairings - Rafe Cameron x reader

Summary - Topper is clumsy

Warnings - talk of blood, reader getting hurt, overprotective Rafe

A/n - idk just popped into my mind

”Fuck!” Blood ran down your hand and onto the fruit on the cutting board. The now crimson clad knife clattered against the counter when you dropped it.

”Oh shit, I'm sooo sorry!” Topper had his hands raised in the air as he saw the blood coating almost your whole hand.

”Ah shit.” You quickly reached for a towel as you pressed it against the wound. In an attempt to stop the bleeding.

”What the fuck?” Rafe reached your side quickly as he entered the kitchen, seeing you hurt. His big hands wrapped around yours, the blood immediately staining his skin too.

”What happened?” He sounded angry and he looked over at Topper who without a doubt was involved, seemingly stressed.

”Uh.. I'm so sorry, I uh.. didn't know she had a knife and I uh.. just uh.. bumped into her.” Topper tripped over his own words. You shot him a reassuring smile to try to get him to calm down.

Rafe leads you over to the sink where he removes the towel and brings your hand under the tab. Turning the water on to let it rinse the blood off. You watch as the blood runs down your hand and into the drain. A big cut between your index finger and thumb reveals itself and you cringe at how deep it is.

”Wait here.” Rafe commands as he disappears out of the kitchen. Topper comes up to your side now, looking at your hand. Blood already starting to seep from the cut again.

”Fuck im so sorry.”

”Topper it’s chill, it's not even your fault.” You say reassuringly.

It wasn't his fault. Your hand gripped the knife as you were cutting up some mango. Topper was opening the refrigerator behind you grabbing another beer. As he babbled on about god knows what, flinging his arms around to get his point through.

As he stumbled around he bumped into you, pushing you forward against the counter. To catch yourself, you needed your hands. The hand wrapped around the handle of the knife was pushed down making you not just cut into the fruit but also your hand in the process.

Rafe stomped back into the kitchen with band aids. Making Topper instantly get out of his way and leave the room. He grabbed your hand and started to patch up the wound.

”Thanks.” You smile up at him.

”You okay?” When he was done his right hand went up to push a few strands of hair behind your ear. His thumb rubbing your cheek.

”Yeah, I'm fine. Just a scratch.” He licked his lips, his hand staying by your ear. But the movement of his thumb stops.

”The next time he pulls some shit like that I'll beat his ass up.” You frowned at his words that came out as a quiet mumble. His hand still on the side of your face as you pulled away slightly.

”He didn't pull anything tho’.” Rafe chuckled his hand leaving the side of your face and grabbing the wrist of your patched up hand. He brought it up to your face level, making a point for you to look at it.

”This look like nothing to you?” He shook your wrist in his hand a little, empathizing his words.

”He didn't mean to.” You purse your lips at him. It made you confused that he reacted this way. You couldn't quite understand how this was such a big deal and why it all needed to be blamed on Topper.

”Why are you defending him?” He looked confused, almost a little hurt and that made you even more confused at his reaction.

”Because he didn't do anything, it's not like he tried to hurt me on purpose.” You said the words slowly as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. Your eyes searched his, trying to get him to understand.

”I'll live.” You chuckled lightly as he didn't respond. Trying to light up his mood.

“He won't tho.”

[oddaesthetin]

catching you looking at his photos — han hyeongjun

fluff

—

“why are you looking at my photos?”

you flinched at the sudden voice, almost falling over from the kitchen stool you were sitting on. turning your head to face the person you hadn’t realized was there, you found yourself face-to-face with a slightly flustered but still composed hyeongjun, whose eyes remained fixed on the screen.

playing it cool, you slowly turned your phone off and flipped it over.

“just because.”

“you can’t just say ‘just because,’” he pushed, standing up straighter. feeling bashful, the slender man behind you uneasily licked his lips and combed back the hair covering over his face. you giggled silently at the beguiling sight.

“i just did.” it was an answer you thought would end the topic, until your boyfriend murmured something again.

“those were fan photos of me.” he pressed once more, as if teasing you could hide the fact that your actions had thrown him off balance, too. he doesn’t do this often, hyeongjun thought to himself. don’t get the boy wrong; having the opportunity to tease you comes a lot, actually. it’s just his timing that doesn’t. which is why more often than not, he chooses to be sly in silence. now is not one of those times.

you felt warmth creeping up to your face again. it had already been there before he came in, courtesy of the photos, but being confronted like this left you blank for a moment. it wasn’t your first time doing this though, no. with that face? please. you had a pinterest board full of his fan photos, though this was the first time you’d been caught.

it wasn’t really a big deal. so, with that thought in mind, you answered honestly.

“you look hot.”

first shot.

“i mean, i’m sorry for being your biggest fan, but it’s impossible not to look at them. have you seen you?”

second shot. one more, and hyeongjun thinks he might pass out. how the turntables, to take a quote from the office. now, his face was starting to redden. you vivaciously turned to face him fully.

“especially when you’re playing your guitar! it makes me feel things i haven’t fel—”

“ok! oh my god, stop. please.” laughing, your boyfriend hid his face in his hands. “i didn’t know you liked me this much,” he said, half-teasingly and half-full of warmth—an expression he usually have when you do something that makes him feel valued. to be loved is to be seen—something you took very literally, and thinking just that, he flopped his head down again to try to hide the pink that resurfaced. you make him feel too precious.

every once in a while, he doesn’t know if he truly deserves that, but he couldn’t deny as well that whenever he felt unsure of himself, it was always you and your comforting words that lifted him back up. sometimes, he just wished he had the ability to tell you all of that easily.

“now, i regret teasing you. i’ve learned my lesson,” he said meekly, his face still flushed. he combed his hair back once again in an attempt to calm down.

finally, to end this madness (as you were still feeling fairly shy yourself), you decided to just play along and shrugged playfully. “well, you know what they say; be sure to taste your words before you spit them out.”

he laughed softly, the tension fading, and reached over to give your cheek an affectionate squeeze.

—

© oddaesthetin 2024

[hansoeii]

Hellooo :D!! I just wanted to ask if you have any tips for coming up with ideas for full pieces. It could totally just be “oh this seems cool/cute” and then just testing compositions/colours/etc on the spot (and I’d be happy with tips about that too), but I was curious if there’s any brainstorming you do when/if ideas don’t just pop up in your head (or you do have a very loose idea, but need a bit more planning before actually starting the piece)

Also I obviously need to mention that I ADORE your art!! Your most recent piece with angel Crowley had me in AWE (I’m pretty sure my jaw actually dropped).

Thank you!!!

It's a mix of both "oh my god I have this great idea I gotta draw it NOW" and "let's scroll through pinterest for 2 hours and hope that something inspires me".

For example this piece under the rain was an idea I had while taking a nap. I didn't have any proper references for it and just put a bunch of puzzle pieces together and hoped for the best, haha.

I usually have this one specific idea that I wanna turn into an illustration and then I spend hours searching for references that make the process a little easier. This was my reference sheet for it:

Most of the time I just go through my Pinterest poses board and see if there's something I'd like to draw, though. I save a lot of poses I like constantly that I can go back to later on. This was the case with the angels illustration I did!

I didn't have anything super specific planned for it when I started working on it. I actually planned for it to just be some small and quick little drawing. It somehow turned into the best thing I've ever made djhdhd

Here's my reference sheet for this one:

With most of my work I don't really do a lot of planning. I do that enough in my school assignment already, so I tend to just draw loosely when it comes to personal work, haha.

So the tip I'd give you is to get as many references as you possibly can! It makes your life so much easier. Also look for color palettes you enjoy, see how other artists use colors! And be willing to just experiment. Most of my art is just one experiment after another in hopes that one day I know what I'm doing.

Hope this helps a little bit! Thank you for supporting me and my work! :D

[krystella-shifts]

Hi holy shit ok. Idk who else to send this too because I'm unsure about the new blogs on here but I used to be a big blog on loablr before I deactivated in 202...3 I think. Anyway. I recently got back into this because I fully crashed out and decided I wanted my dream life more than I ever have. I made a Pinterest board called "peep game lock in fr" (lmao) and filled it with my dream body, life, friends, money, job, etc etc. I've looked at it religiously since about 3 days ago. I listened to Edward Art again as a refresher, and because I've been around here before it was easy to get back into the swing of stuff. Today was a slightly doubtful day but nothing much.

I am being deadly serious here, I'm not manifesting or scripting, I swear on me and my dog's life here: I have two money-related pins, one showing 10,000 pounds and the other showing 20,000. TELL ME WHY. TELL ME WHY my boyfriend suddenly texts "babe. I'm getting paid at the end of the month and I would never usually do this but I'm going to send you 10,000 pounds to put in your savings." FUCKING WHAT. He has a part-time job and the most I've ever seen in his active account was 2,000. (I was crying real tears going "oh my god. Oh my god it worked.") Bear in mind I don't have a job, I am (was) completely down-to-pennies broke, I'm a uni student, and I've been manifesting for ages but this time. This time it worked within 3 days.

I was like "oh my god babe why??" And he was like "I've been saving to give you stuff so we can buy a house." AGAIN. FLOORED. I have two house-related pins. I'm crying while texting him. He goes "I've been saving my own, and together we'd have 20,000 thereabouts." FUCKING GAGGED. I'm laughing and crying at the same time. How has this worked????? How has he revealed this to me when I started living from the end?

Ok, but what about my other pins? Again, I'm swearing on me and my dog's life; my skin's cleared up after ages, I'm skinnier, I finally have plans to go to the gym after manifesting it for ages, I am getting a ps5, I'm texting a potential new friend, and my brows and lashes have gotten thicker. I am being an adult about this; this isn't wishful thinking or confirmation bias but all of this has been dumped on me since I started 3 days ago. THREE DAYS. THREE. Some things haven't manifested yet but I'm goddamn sure they will after this lmao.

Somehow there are still doubts like "did I really do this????" But the timing and amounts are just... Too perfect. I'm excited for the future, when 3 days ago I was depressed. I'm going to stick around here but oh my god. It worked. I'm in disbelief.

Anyway my advice would be to make a Pinterest board lmao. It worked for me!!!

GIRL YOU SLAYYY 😭🫂💞 And thanks for choosing my blog for this OMG??? And don't mind DMing me cuz WHICH BIG BLOGGER ARE YOU 🧐 (Jk you don't have to tell) I think the deactivation of your acc was like a break you needed 😭 (stop overconsuming y'all it's better to focus on actually living your dream life (I'm looking at you my bestfriend 💀)) and YOU DID MANIFEST IT SLAY GIRLY QUEEN BESTIE don't doubt it! Doubt the doubts cuz "i doubt that it's just a damn coincidence. I definitely did it!!!" And that's exactly what I talk aboutttt 😭 you don't have to lift a finger bro just do what you like (eg making a pinterest board or scripting etc) IT'S SUPER EASY AND EFFORTLESS MANIFESTATION IS SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNNN! And yeah live in the end who cares when you have your desires stop overthinking.

THANK YOU BESTIEEE CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR NEW HOME 👏🏻🥳🎉 Goodluck

˚˖𓍢ִ໋💞˚.✨⋆🦄

[crybabyddl]

Black Coffee

Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

Chapter One

Warning: swearing, meet-cute, awkwardness, modern au, coffee shop au

Author's Note: Hi. it's been a while. I started typing this up on AO3, then accidentally closed the tab and lost it all. But I got so attached that I decided it was worth rewriting. The POV will change between the reader and Eddie. ALSO!! Eddie has parents in this fic. Okay, enjoy!

Next Chapter

----

I had thirty minutes until my lunch break. I decided to do the daily crossword on my phone to pass the time. Winter was the town's "off season", so I basically got paid to just be on my phone for eight hours, making a coffee here and there for the regulars and occasional tourists that managed to stumble upon our secluded café. If there was one thing I could depend on, it's that no matter how slow business was, there'd always be at least one person in need of caffeine, and that was enough for me.

I was on a roll, solving a bunch of the crossword clues when I saw a figure entering the shop out of the corner of my eye. I put my phone in my back pocket before picking up the stylus I used to tap on the register's screen.

I look up to see a tall man wearing black jeans, a leather jacket, and combat boots. His fingers are adorned with several rings and his pinkies are coated in black polish. This guy looks like he came straight off my "dream man" pinterest board. He's got long, curly brown hair that I was honestly jealous of.

"Hello!" I said in the sing-songy voice I use to greet customers. I felt my face heating up, and it only grew warmer once he looked up at me.

Holy shit, he's gorgeous.

"Hey, how's it going?" the man replies with a small, closed-mouth smile.

"Not too bad, what about you?"

"I'll be better once I get some coffee in my system, but other than that I'm doing alright."

"Just a regular coffee?"

"Yup. Small, black coffee."

"You got it," I reply, punching in the order on the register before grabbing a twelve ounce cup and fitting it into a sleeve. I turn to fill the cup and can't help but mouth an "oh my god" to myself at how beautiful this man is.

After filling the cup, I take a lid and press it firmly onto the cup to ensure it's secure. "Here you are." I say as I place the coffee on the counter in front of him.

"Thanks," he pulls out his wallet. "How much do I owe you?"

"Comes out to three dollars."

"Is that how much a black coffee is these days?" His brows furrow, but the look and lopsided grin he gives me tell me his words are lighthearted.

"Don't look at me, I don't make the prices!" I put my hands up in fake surrender. "Cash or card?"

"Card."

"Okay,"

I tap the icon on the screen that authorizes cashless payment and the man taps his card on the chip reader. I grab a pen, clicking it open before taking the receipt from the printer. "I just need you to sign this for me please."

"Alrighty," he reached up to scratch the back of his neck, and I caught a glimpse of his stomach as his shirt rose to reveal his happy trail. Was it weird to be attracted to someone's abdomen?

I place the pen and receipt in front of him, watching his hair cover the sides of his face as he leans over to scrawl his signature. Once he finishes, he unclicks the pen, handing it and the receipt back to me. "There you go, thanks again."

"Thank you, have a good one!"

"You too!" he called over his shoulder.

I feel my own shoulders relax once he's out of sight. I exhale a breath I didn't realize I'd been holding. I glance down at the receipt and notice the signature at the bottom. His name is Eddie. I mentally sighed. A cute name for a handsome stranger I'd never see again. My eyes flicked over to the tip. Damn, three dollars. That could mean one or more of the following:

He also works in food service and therefore understands the struggle and knows how to tip well.

He's rich and always tips the amount of the check

He thought I was cute too and tipped me nicely as a form of flattery.

He's just a normal person who gave a nice tip for no specific reason.

I knew option four was the most likely, but I allowed myself to enjoy the idea of option 3.

During my lunch break, I couldn't help but think about Eddie. I knew it was wrong to romanticize a single interaction with a stranger, but I figured it was okay since I'd never see him again. What wasn't okay was me picturing him shirtless. Hey, it wasn't often that a cute guy my age came into the café, since most people went to a different coffee shop that'd been around longer. Plus, I've been single for a few months and my sex drive has been practically nonexistent. I'd be foolish to not take advantage of the eye candy.

----

I wasn't expecting to pay three dollars for a small black coffee, but after taking a sip, I decided it was worth it. To be fair, anything was better than the watered down crap I got yesterday after returning the U-Haul, but this shit was good. I wasn't sure how I'd like my new hometown, but things were off to a good start. I found a place to get coffee, and a cute barista to make it for me.

The next thing on my list for the day was unpacking my stuff in my new apartment. I took another swig of my coffee at that thought, knowing it would be a long road to settling in. After unloading just the essentials in the kitchen and the bathroom, I decided to get serious. If I ever wanted to fully move in, I needed to pick one room to completely unpack. I figured I'd start with the most important room, the bedroom.

Starting with the bedroom turned out to be a mistake, as I ended up crashing as soon as I placed the mattress on the bedframe I'd just spent an hour putting together. To my credit, I drove for six hours straight yesterday and had to toss and turn on my parents' couch before giving up and having a beer while watching youtube shorts until two in the morning.

I reached for my phone and looked at the time. 6pm. I felt a pang of hunger hit my stomach. There was no way in hell I was going to cook right now. I decided to test my luck and see what my options were for takeout. This town wasn't big enough to have DoorDash or Uber Eats, so I'd have to find a restaurant, order takeout, and pick it up. I didn't mind driving honestly, I just needed something other than fast food tonight.

I ended up ordering from this Thai place around the corner, so I decided to get some fresh air and walk to the restaurant. I was able to get my food nice and easy, and thankfully had the keys to my apartment in my pocket so I had no problem getting back and enjoying my chicken massaman curry on the couch as I watched Breaking Bad for the millionth time.

----

[mvltixcc]

Girls Like Girls - Robin Buckley X Cheerleader!Reader

Summary: Robin has a crush on the new girl in town. Y/N is also a new member of the cheer squad, which means Robin sees her all the time at games and other school events. Unfortunately, Robin is put in a tough situation. She's scared to talk to her because the cheerleaders have a reputation of being mean girls and she fears that Y/N may not feel the same. Little does Robin know that Y/N does not appear as she seems. Y/N becomes best friends with Eddie, which seems unlikely at the surface due to different social circles. This leads to rumors of course and word spreads like wildfire here at Hawkins, which then makes Robin's feelings even more confusing. After hanging out with Steve and the gang, Robin starts to see a different side to Y/N. Will they end up together or will they just remain friends?

Word Count: 2.7k

Pinterest board for inspiration

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Chapter 3

After that night Robin couldn’t stop thinking about you. Every time she thought about how sweet you were to her, she couldn’t help but get butterflies in her stomach. She liked the warm fuzzy feeling you gave her. Had she really misjudged you? Deep down Robin knew that Steve was right when he said that you weren’t mean and scary. But she would never tell Steve that though, he’d never live it down. 

Some time had passed since Robin and Y/N’s last interaction with one another. They saw each other in the halls and would exchange waves and smiles. It was unfortunate, but they both became super busy with practice as it was football season. At least Robin got to see you there and she took what she could get. In her mind she felt like you weren’t just cheering for the guys, but also for her too and that alone brought her comfort. 

“Have you talked with her yet?” Steve asked as he was cleaning the front windows. He had been nagging about Robin talking to Y/N for weeks since their moment in the store. 

“No, now will you stop asking me that! There have been more important things happening in my life, like the football games!” Robin states.

“Yeah, which she’s also been at, might I add!”. Steve added. 

“Not helping!” Robin responded.

“You know to me it seems like you’re avoiding her.” Steve said sarcastically. Robin rolled her eyes and went back to work. Maybe she was avoiding you, she feared you would reject her and that terrified her. “Well good thing for you, now is your chance.” Steve stated as he pointed to the door. Robin looked in that direction and saw you about to walk in.

“Oh god, how do I look?” Robin said as she began to frantically fix her hair and brush off her clothes. She wanted to look nice for you, she didn’t want to appear to be a mess, even if she was one half of the time. 

“You look fine, don’t be nervous.” Steve remarked as he tapped his friend on the shoulder. 

“Wow I’m totally cured and not even more nervous at all!” Robin exclaimed sarcastically. 

“Hey stranger! It’s been a minute since you’ve been by, thought you might have forgotten us or something.” Steve joked as you walked in. 

“No no no, I could never forget you guys!” Y/N chuckled and gave Robin a wink. That sent her into overdrive. If her face wasn’t looking like a tomato before, it surely was now. 

“What do you need? That sounded rude, oh god I'm sorry!  I just mean do you need uh- help with finding a movie or something.” Robin rambled as you headed toward the counter. 

“It’s okay!” Y/N giggled. “I’m actually here for a job interview! With football season coming to an end, I need something to do so I figured I’d look around for a job.” She smiled. The thought of you working there with Robin was enough to make her pass out. She would be able to see you everyday and she had no idea how to handle that. 

“That’s um- neato.” Robin stated awkwardly. There was a brief moment of silence before Keith had called you in the back to be interviewed. “Well I’ll see you guys in a bit, wish me luck!” You said walking away from the pair of friends. 

“Neato? What the hell is wrong with you Buckley, get it together!” Steve proclaimed.

“I don’t know I got nervous and you know what happens when I get nervous!” Robin said, panicking. 

“Yeah I’m well aware of what happens.” Steve joked.

“Oh god what am I gonna do if she gets the job?” Robin stated, still panicking. 

“Oh I don’t know, maybe talk to her and tell her how you feel?” He remarked.

“You’re not helping Harrington!” She replied, now pacing back and forth. 

Some time had passed before you had walked out from being interviewed. “Alright fine you want my help? Watch this.” Steve said, setting down the items in his hand. “Hey you, how did the interview go?” Steve asked as you made your way back to the two of them.

“I think it went well considering I got the job!” Y/N cheered.

“That's great! So listen, I’m having a little Halloween party at my place next Friday and Robin here was wondering if you'd like to go with her?” Steve conveyed as he pointed to Robin, who looked like a deer in the headlights. 

“Wait really, you want me to go with you?” You questioned. Robin gulped hard. It was now or never and she had to face it head on. ‘Thanks a lot Harrington.’ She thought to herself.

“Oh um yeah yeah totally, it’d be super fun if we went to this party together.” She said with nervousness seeping into her voice. Robin hated how hard this was for her. “I totally understand if you don’t want to-” 

“I'd love to go with you!” You interrupted. “Are we dressing up? Ooooo maybe we could dress up together or something, that would be so cool!” You said with excitement. Your eyes lit up as you continued on, which caused Robin’s cheeks to flush once again. 

“That would be great! We’ll see you then!” Steve said with pride. You all waved your goodbyes and as soon as you had left, Robin gave a smack to the back of Steve’s head.

“Ow! Is that any way to thank your friend after scoring you a date?!” Steve exclaimed, rubbing the back of his head. 

“You could have at least given me a heads up that you were gonna do that dingus!” Robin groaned. 

“Well excuse me for trying to help a friend. Maybe a little thank you would be nice.” He said. 

“Yeah I’m not thanking you just yet Harrington.” She chuckled. What had Steve gotten her into?

It was finally the day of the party and to say that Robin was a mess would be an understatement. She had so many thoughts running through her head and all she could really feel was fear. Robin had thought about canceling because it would be better than the alternative. As she got lost in her nervousness, she saw that Y/N was approaching you with a slight skip in your step. “Hey hey hey, I’m so excited for tonight! We’re gonna look so amazing! You have your costume right?” You asked. 

“Yeah yeah I uh have it.” Robin assured, clearing her throat. Y/N let out a sigh of relief. They finished planning out any last minute details and departed as the bell rang for first period. “Well I’ll see you later Robin!” And with that you walked away with that same cute little skip in your step. 

Robin made her way to her first class and sat in her seat. She felt a little at ease after the conversation she had had with you. She started to daydream of how the night would go, but was soon interrupted. 

“So, Y/N tells me that you and her are going to Harrington’s party tonight?” Eddie inquired, leaning over to her. 

“Hello to you too Munson, and for your information yes we are going together. What about it?” Robin stated with a rather blunt tone. She didn’t want anyone, not even Eddie to ruin this night for her. He looked taken aback from her comment.

“Hey hey, I come in peace!” He said, raising his arms up. “I just want you to look out for her is all. She doesn’t usually go to parties like this and is only going because you invited her. It’s also her favorite holiday and I don't want it to be ruined for her.” Eddie stated sincerely. 

Robin just stared at him for a moment before speaking. “Oh yeah sure, I’ll make sure she’s okay.” She had no idea you were only going because she invited you. Well Steve asked, but that's besides the point. Eddie nodded to Robin and went back to his seat. She was now determined to make sure you both had a good time tonight.

Robin had waited out front for Y/N to arrive at the party, she had already been there helping Steve set up. She could see Eddie’s van coming down the road and soon pulled up to the front yard. Robin stood from where she sat on the steps and made her way toward the van. You excitedly opened the door and jumped out to hug Robin. She was so caught off guard she almost forgot to hug you back. 

“Robin, look at you, you look so pretty!” Y/N said, pulling away from the hug and getting a good look at the girl in front of her. Robin could feel herself turning crimson. She wasn’t expecting to hear that from you. “I um, oh thank you.” She replied nervously. “You also look uh pretty.” She couldn’t help but stare at you in awe. You wore a simple black slip dress with some knee high socks and tall boots. She thought you looked beautiful. You thanked her for the compliment. Robin could see the blush creep upon your cheeks, which caused her stomach to do flips.

“I almost forgot!” Y/N said, turning back to the van and grabbing something from the front seat. “Our hats!” You said with excitement. You both had decided on being witches, it was super easy to find everything considering this was all last minute for the both of you. You put your hat on and helped Robin with hers shortly after. While you began to move bits of hair out of Robin’s face, she couldn't help but stare into your eyes. The way your (Y/E/C) eyes sparkled into the moonlight, she was mesmerized. You were so beautiful. 

“There, all better!” You said. You turned to Eddie and waved goodbye and soon he was off. “Ready to party?” You asked. Robin nodded and you both made your way inside. There was a good amount of people there already, the music was going and people seemed to be having a good time. The both of you had been dancing and laughing. Robin really enjoyed your company. She was happy that she didn’t cancel. Steve had pulled you both aside and took a picture with his polaroid. Soon after the picture was taken you had excused yourself to use the restroom. 

“Soooo are you having a good time or what?” Steve joked. 

“Okay okay, I’m having a good time. You were right or whatever.” Robin had rolled her eyes and chuckled.

“See I told you you would!” He was happy for his friend, she deserved this after everything she had gone through months prior. 

Their conversation was soon interrupted by the jocks making their arrival known and Chrissy coming up to the two of them. 

“Wow Buckley, I’m surprised to see you here!” She said with her usual sarcasm. 

“Why is that a surprise? Steve is my friend, you know.” Robin replied with annoyance.

“Oh well because you're at the bottom of the food chain. You really think you can hang out with people like us? Ha, that’s pathetic.” By this point people had been watching this spectacle go down, which only made it worse as it fuels Chrissy’s behavior. 

“Why do you care so much?” Robin questioned. She didn’t understand why it bothered her so much what she did. Robin never did anything to the cheerleader, at least to her knowledge. 

“Because there’s an order at this school and you my dear, need to be put in your place!” Chrissy said as she threw her drink onto Robin. The party grew silent. 

“What the shit Chrissy?! Robin, are you okay??” You asked standing in front of her trying to block people from looking at the scene ahead of them. Chrissy laughed as you attended to Robin. Robin with tears in her eyes, shook her head. “Let's go upstairs and get you cleaned up.” Y/N suggested. The party continued on as you brought her up to the bathroom to get washed up.

“I’m so sorry about her.” Y/N apologized, helping her clean off of her dress. 

“It’s fine, I should be used to this right?” Robin sniffled. 

“Hey look at me.” You said, putting your hand to Robin’s face so she could look at you. “It’s not fine. What she did was awful, you don't deserve to be treated that way by her or anyone else for that matter. You’re so special and kind Robin, don’t you ever forget that okay?” You said with sincerity, rubbing your thumb on her cheek. You flashed her a warm smile and she smiled back. Still holding her face, you gave her a gentle kiss on the forehead. 

“Stay right here for me okay?” You requested and Robin nodded. Y/N had left the bathroom for a moment and Robin was unsure why. Before she knew it, Y/N had returned from whatever you were doing. “Alright, let’s get you out of here.” Y/N stated grabbing Robin’s hand and heading downstairs. 

“Oh god now what is this mess?!” Chrissy exclaimed as you and Robin made it back to the crowd of people. You turned around to face her.

“Just drop it okay, we’re going.” You said, trying not to make the situation worse. By this point there was nothing but silence. The music had stopped and everyone was looking on at the disaster before them.

Chrissy chuckled. “You think you’re so special huh? Befriending the losers of this town? Well let me tell you something, you’re not! First it was the town satanist freak, I mean I thought that maybe it would be a little phase because he was the first person you met here. But now this, the dorky band girl? I mean come one how low can you go at this point?! You really need to-”

“You know Chrissy, you of all people you should know not to judge a person before getting to know them. I’m also only going to say this once so you better listen well, don’t you EVER talk about my friends like that again. And quite frankly the only thing I need to do is take my friend home and get the hell away from you! Come on Robin, let's go.” Still holding onto Robin, you both make your way to the front door.

“If you walk out that door, then you’re off the team!” Chrissy yelled over the crowd. You stopped in your tracks, Robin giving you a sympathetic look letting go of your hand. She knew how this was gonna go down. ‘It was fun while it lasted’ she thought.

“You can’t kick me off the squad.” You say turning to face the head cheerleader. 

“Oh yeah and why is that?” Chrissy humored the girl. 

“Because I quit.” Y/N announced as she took Robin’s hand again and walked out the front door. Eddie had pulled up with his van just in time. You both climbed into the van and soon you were off. “Let’s get you home.” You said, still holding onto her hand.

Next Chapter

[pseudowho]

hiii haitch!! feel free to ignore this ask (sincerely, no pressure on my part) but as an eldest daughter that’s had to mediate tension between parents and their fights (as well as basically having to parent siblings of course) do you have any words of affirmation?? i guess i just wanted to know if it gets better, if finding a partner that doesn’t need you to micromanage everything is possible, etc.

- very exhausted eldest daughter

Oh baby. Relate.

r.e. The mediation thing, I found myself mediating things even when I was away from home, which was hard. Simply getting my own life and distance gradually, gradually reduced this. To be honest, I don't enjoy family drama or seek it out, and I've found myself becoming less and less tolerant of being dragged into things, or accused of things, as I've gotten older. It's such a burden, and all I can say is, if you distance yourself in other ways, then bearing the burden of being the mediator gradually, gradually fades. It's a really heavy thing though and I feel you entirely.

r.e. Finding a partner who you don't have to micromanage; set early, immediate, high standards and don't compromise. Read thoroughly into the 'Mental Load' as a concept, and read thoroughly into how women have been, and continue to be societally manipulated and manipulated by their male partners to bear it. Start a fucking Pinterest board about it. I swear to god, some of the short, concise insights people make about women who are forced to micromanage men, have formed a huge springboard for me to leap off of.

Weaponised incompetence is a thing. I love to use "Oh, okay, so you can do *X task or X job etc* but running the laundry is beyond you? Hanging out clothes neatly and folding neatly is too complex for you? Apparently, women used to not be allowed in the workplace because men were smarter than them, and women belonged at home. So are you saying you're 'stupid', like women at home who do basically every household task better than you? Don't make me laugh, fucking clown."

Once you start to see how respect and love are inherently things that must be together for either one to be true, that is a real golden ticket moment. Does your partner love you? I doubt it, if they don't look at the burdens you're carrying and do everything in their power to equalise it. It's clear they don't respect you. How can they love you if they don't respect you?

If they genuinely don't know how to do these things, I'd offer to teach them once--...and then if they still don't complete it, they're fucking with you. Even if they have ADHD or other processing difficulties that makes them find it harder to do certain things, it's their responsibility to find a way to manage this in a way that doesn't become your burden. I have friends with ADHD, and they create reminders for themselves, ticklists, anything, anything, to help them pull their weight. If a future partner doesn't... it's not a matter of capability, it's a matter of willingness.

Standards. Standards. Standards. Keep them high. Refuse to be gaslighted. Revolt!

Also: you're better alone than with someone who won't complete basic household tasks to keep you.

Ugh. I could scream to the hills about this.

Fight for your rights!

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[velidewrites]

also i just got a thot teehee

how do you think sylas, vermillion and marcel react in modern day to their partner(or reader idk im just imagining myself teehee) having a pinterest board dedicated to couple goals

i recently made my own account on pinterest and have a board 'goals🌸' where i only sae cute cuple pics lol

i feel like marcel will think its so stupid like 'ew🤨'

vermillion would prolly be like. 'wanna recreate those? 😏'

and maybe sylas will be wondering if his partner wants those things and try to be slick and d those things, like holding hands and hugging, but the whole time hes like 'am i doing this right? is it awkward????'

i love them sm 😭

LOVE this ask oh my god thank you!! Allow me to add on:

Marcel: Actually fools you at first when he invites you to recreate that one picture of the boyfriend gently holding his partner’s face in his hands while he kisses them. Encouraged, you lean in happily and you’re close enough for your noses to touch when you realize his grip on your chin is a little too firm. You try to pull back to no effect, and a small smile creeps onto his features, his pupils widening like a cat’s. Smoke begins to form around you, creeping from his leather-clad forearms towards your face, and finally, finally into your open mouth. He’s caught another mouse in his trap;)

Vermilion: Takes your phone while you’re not looking. Hijacks your algorithm by adding 50+ photos of the boyfriend getting tied up to your couple goals board. Caresses your face when you get flustered. You were so bold asking him to recreate your board a few moments ago, and suddenly you’re all shy? Don’t play coy with him. He knows exactly how to make you regain your confidence.

Sylas: You’re SO spot on. “Must we really do this?” he sighs, and you lace your fingers tighter together because yes absolutely. The front camera of your phone starts counting down and you rest your cheek on his bicep (oh no he’s tall), lashes fluttering against the sleeve of his shirt. The touch is so faint there is no chance he could have felt it, but the photo you capture proves otherwise: you staring, amazed, at the slight bob of his throat, his back straight as if taken by surprise. The color of his cheeks almost matches his eyes. Could it be that you made Sylas Vanserra himself blush?

[boygiwrites]

Harley D. Dixon 28

Harley D. Dixon's Pinterest Board! Harley D. Dixon's Playlist!

📖Chapter List.

Author's Note.

I was lying last time. That wasn't a biggun. THIS is a biggun.

'Be careful, Dad.'

'I will, baby.'

I realize the others. 'Oh. And you too, I guess.'

'Real funny,' T-Dog signs, unimpressed.

The strongest of our group spare us no last glances as they turn away, with only five bullets and a handful of bolts between them. I sit next to Lori on the small bench, watching their backs retreat. The Thanton Memorial hospital. There it is, tall and beige like a school, but really more of a Hellbox filled with nasty surprises behind each one of the hundreds of little black windows. Glad it ain't me.

God. Nine miles. Two days. Sharpsburg, East of nowhere. We really made it. I guess I knew we would.

'You know this place.'

Herschel's already looking at me when I turn to him, his moustache curled around a smile.

'Just a feeling,' He adds.

'You're a mind reader,' I decide, regarding him with suspicion.

Herschel Greene; a wizard disguised as a Georgian farmer. I knew there was something up with him.

He doesn't respond, because I guess he don't want his cover blown. That or... Well, he's waiting for an answer.

'My Momma lived in this town.' Is all I supply him with after a time, because it ends the same way most stories do.

'I'm sorry.'

I shrug. It ain't anybody's fault. 'I don't know why I didn't tell nobody.'

'This town means something to you. We don't always share things like that.'

I guess. 'What about your Momma?'

'My Mother died when I was fairly young.' He admits easily, like somebody at peace. 'One day, my brother and I noticed she'd gone out into the rain to water the plants, and things were never quite the same for a long time after that.'

Oh. I've heard of that. People getting old, forgetting where their bedroom is, who their kids are.

It's hard to imagine Herschel as just a boy with a Momma.

Some days, it's even hard to imagine myself as just a girl, even though that's what I still am.

I offer him a lame smile.

'Let's talk about something a little happier,' He suggests, while over his shoulder, a flashlight glares across the inside of one of the second storey windows. 'I'm starting to think it's the end of December. That would mean it's Christmas soon.'

The light disappears.

I ignore it.

If only them pharmacies we checked this morning had anything in them besides rat shit and dust.

'Jesus' birthday party,' I muse.

That gets him to laugh. I think he's tryna distract me. 'Yes. It could even be tomorrow.'

'Really? How do you know?'

'Well, I suppose I don't. Do you like Christmas?'

Everybody likes Christmas. That is, at least, everybody likes presents.

'Yeah. My Meemaw had a really pretty tree.'

'The minute it turned December first, Maggie and Beth would always force everyone to put up ours.'

'Do they believe in Santa Claus?'

'Not anymore, I'm afraid.'

'And you?'

His eyes glint mischievously. 'Of course I do.'

I consider it. 'I don't think I do. I don't believe in the Easter Bunny, neither.'

Or God, but that's a different story.

'They didn't ever come to your house?'

'They came a few times, but I think they forgot about us. My friend Dylan said they're made up. The Christmas after that, I stayed up late to spy on Santa, but I just saw Merle and Dad carrying presents in from the truck. I never told them.'

'I guess Santa was too busy that night.'

'If he is real, I hope he's okay. The Easter bunny has lots of chocolate to eat, but... Santa might be hungry.'

I wonder if the walkers have made it to the North Pole yet. Knowing those assholes, they definitely have.

'You forget; — Santa has magic.'

'That's how he makes the sleigh fly, right?'

'Right. And all those cookies and all that milk... Well. He's got more than enough to last a lifetime.'

'So, you think he's okay?'

'I'm sure of it.'

'I would like some cookies and milk, too.'

The old man only laughs again, giving my knee a gentle pat as Carl leans forward, his mouth moving around some words.

When the boy gestures to me, Herschel translates.

'He asked me what we were talking about. He wants to tell you it's okay; Santa forgot about him too, one year.'

Carl sends me a thumbs up, trusting that the message got across well enough.

It did. I feel my smile widen.

It's wiped away when Lori suddenly lurches forward between us. Her chest wracks, wracks, wracks, a soft wad of phlegm flying past her lips and landing at her feet. My hand goes to her shoulder, squeezing reassuringly, as if that's gonna do anything useful. Her lungs, they must be clogged up like sponges filled with yoghurt, all that sickness and junk coming back up the way it went in.

Herschel's on his feet, bringing his thin hand down on her back, knocking the phlegm out of her.

I glance over my shoulder.

Lights; more of them, swooping over the glass, appearing and disappearing and reappearing.

A gunshot lighting up a window.

Please be okay, I think. Lori won't make it like this.

Facing forward again, Lori's got her hand splayed over the base of her throat, coughing dryly. She takes the water bottle Carol is offering to her, and gulp, gulp, gulps down the last of what's inside, deflating when she's done, cradling her big belly.

Are you okay, I ask aloud as I loosen my grip on her, hoping it sounds how it's supposed to sound.

She smiles at me in the slightest of ways, putting her hand over mine before I can pull it away.

She nods, I'm okay, honey.

I nod back, because that's good. I don't believe her for a second, but that's good.

'There was a gunshot,' Beths signs to me, then.

'I know. I saw.'

She continues signing even as she turns to Herschel, a habit by now. 'That was loud.'

'Don't worry. Anything that heard it will be too slow to make their way over here.'

'I hope so.'

We sit without talking after that, watching the windows of the hospital light up with gunshots every now and then, as if it were a football game on TV. I count them, the flashes. The one I saw while Lori was coughing, that's one. That one there, that's two.

Rick used to talk about the day he woke up in the Grady Memorial Hospital sometimes. Right now, the only parts of the story I can remember are the ones where he'd hesitate to continue, staring at something in the fire the rest of us couldn't see, before he muttered about the way there wasn't one wall in the entire building that wasn't dirtied with blood, not even in the children's ward.

Hospitals just ain't what they used to be, is what I learned from him.

There's definitely more than just rat shit and dust in there.

I glance at Beth, asking her, 'Any noise?'

Her lips crumple into a thin line as she answers, 'Nothing.'

Just when I swear Herschel is about to bow his head and start praying, the front doors swing open.

Mouse perks up, his tail ramrod straight.

That's Dad, T-Dog, and Maggie walking out.

Where's Rick and Glenn?

The three of them are panting, dishevelled, but nobody hurt. Nobody bit. That's always the first thing I look for.

Thing is, though, they're all looking at me like I've won a shitty prize and I just don't know it yet.

What now?, I almost feel like saying, but don't.

The further in we walk, the darker it gets.

Does anybody really like the dark?

The flashlights carve out pockets in the walls and floors around us as we make our way down corridor after corridor. My heart skips a beat each time we pass the body of a patient or a nurse or a person in regular clothing, all with a bolt or a bullet buried somewhere inside them. We sidestep their limp arms in turn, their puddles of blood. I ain't ever been in a horror house before, but I imagine this is worse. I imagine it'd prolly feel a whole lot less like you're being walked to the gallows for execution, and that the blood would be fake.

If I had my locket, it would be clutched between my fingers right now, but the soft spot beneath my throat is completely bare. When I woke up this morning to my empty palm, I knew right away what'd happened. I didn't bother to ask what he did with it.

Passing another body with a bolt skewered through its face, my Dad reaches for it, pulling it out.

Clicking it back onto his bow, he notices me watching him.

'Keep going, baby.' He signs to me, black blood smeared down the side of his neck. 'Not far, now.'

T-Dog comes to a stop in the middle of the corridor a minute later, his flashlight revealing Glenn and Rick standing together just up ahead. Not hurt. Not bit. They look up from what they've been doing, which looks like taking turns kicking the wall.

T-Dog lowers the flashlight to their feet.

There it is.

The Harley-sized hole in the wall.

Now that I'm looking it, I can see what they meant. Nobody else is fitting through that thing, not even Carl.

Still no use, is the sentiment written all over Rick's face.

It looks like they've tried their best to widen the gap, but it's made out of solid brick and we're fresh outta jackhammers.

Will she fit? 

Yeah, I think so, Is the gist of what I can tell they're saying to each other.

We got this piece off here, but it the rest isn't budging. We don't have any bullets left to shoot it.

Maybe... we can do what I said before? Find another pharmacy?

Sure. When you find one within twenty miles of here, you let me know.

You're right. That was dumb. Sorry.

There are no other options. The medicine Lori needs is in that room, and it's like I said. She won't make it, otherwise.

'Listen. There are keys on the desk.' Dad explains to me, his stern expression contoured harshly by the flashlights surrounding us. He takes my wrist, guiding me to crouch with him at the base of the wall, pointing through the cracked bricks. I strain to make out the desk with the keys at the back of the room on the other side, before I meet his gaze again. 'Do you see them?'

'Yeah. I saw them.'

The desk ain't the only thing in there.

'We need you to grab them and unlock the door for us.'

We both know I also saw the walker standing idly in the corner, head bowed to the floor, waiting.

'We'll be able to kill it when the door is open.' He adds when I don't respond, as if he needed permission. 'I can't from here.'

'My heart is beating fast.'

He nods. 'That's a good thing. And this meathead is dumb. Are you dumb?'

I puff my chest out, shaking my head.

'That's right. You don't need to hear them when you're smarter than them. You're always smarter than them. Okay?'

'Okay.'

That's what he's told me ever since I went totally deaf. I don't need to hear them when I'm smarter than them. It's not as if we've had the opportunity to test the theory out, since there's so little walkers that I ain't had to kill one yet, but I trust him.

Twisting around, he gestures for Glenn's flashlight and catches it easily, giving it a few test clicks.

He hands it to me. 'Remember what I taught you?'

I give a nod, feeling the weight of Merle's knife sitting in the sheath on my thigh.

'Good. And be careful of the glass on the floor, okay?'

'Okay. I got this.'

I can do this. I gotta, for Lori and the baby. It'll make for a funny story one day, anyway. I can do it.

'You got this.' He agrees. 'It's gonna smell you, but you're not gonna panic. Easy stuff.'

'Easy stuff. Okay.'

'Okay?'

'Okay.'

With one last look at the group, I take a deep breath and grab onto one of the exposed bricks, contorting myself until my head and one of my arms is through the gap. I pause for a moment, trying not to breathe too much as I watch the walker follow invisible patterns along the floor with its eyes. Once its head is tilted away from me, I brace my hand on the floor, pushing myself through.

Oh, God. What was it I just said? I can do this?

The flashlight blinks on and off as I land on the other side, grabbing it, giving it a shake.

The desk is illuminated in a circle of light, centre stage.

The dead body twitches in the shadows. I slowly get to my feet, silently warning it to stay right where it is if it knows what's good for it. I'm smart. I can read and write now, and my Dad taught me how to stab the thigh first, so the walker will collapse and make it easier for me to reach whatever cavity I can stick my knife in. If this thing gets too close to me, it's gonna get the Dixon treatment.

Uh huh. That's right, I scold it, chin held up. The Dixon treatment. Ain't nobody want that!

The pieces of glass on the floor glint in the light as I tip toe my way through them, stepping up to the desk.

Dad said the keys are here. I saw them. They should be right here amongst these dusty papers — Ugh, God, don't sneeze. Don't. — or maybe even on this folder? What about the shelves above the desk? How could they just disappear?

When I turn the light on the walker, it's looking at me, eyeballs wet, reflecting the light.

It's smelt me.

That's okay. I'm okay. We knew it would.

It starts its slow shuffle towards me as I turn my attention back on the desk, casting about it twice as quickly now, batting the alarm clock, the pen pots, the stethoscope, everything out of my way and following all the pencils and random office supplies down to the floor. Kneeling, I look around, making sure the keys haven't gone down with them or fallen between the desk and the cabinets.

A glint of metal.

I gasp. They have!

I must've accidently knocked them off while I was choking back all that dust in my face.

I stick my hand into the slim gap, but — Ugh. — I can't get it any farther than my knuckles!

I'll have to make it wider.

Abandoning the flashlight, I grab the side of the desk, using all my strength to shove it even just one inch to the side.

Shit, it's heavy. They got bowling balls in here, or what?

The wheelie chair bumps into my ankle. I act on instinct, my hands shooting out, bracing against it. I look up. The walker's slouched over it, reaching for me. My elbows, they buckle. Shit. The seat slams into my shoulder — Ouch! — but you know what. This'll do. This works. I just need these stupid keys. I ignore the walker and its stench of old meat, focused on nothing but the keys.

I'm not gonna panic. It's what I used to do, but I've learnt since then. I'm better!

A couple shoves, and the gap is just wide enough, wide as it's ever gonna be.

Easy stuff. Easy stuff.

The seat suddenly gives way. The body rolls, cracking its cheekbone on the floor. Don't matter. I got the keys. I'm back on my feet and running to the door, feeling out a random key and shoving it in the lock, twisting it. It's the right one. The door opens.

Maggie pulls me out by the arm. It's if there's a fire blazing behind me and I'm about to go up in flames.

That's it. I'm out!

I fall into her stomach, protectively held there.

Thank whoever's still up there. Or maybe, just thank me.

Rick and Dad push past my shoulders, marching into the room and unsheathing their blades, powerfully driving them both into the walker's skull. Blood splatters as they yank them out, droplets landing across the glass cap of the flashlight on the floor. It tints the light and everything it's cast onto a bright red, flickering. Dad picks it up, wipes it on his thigh, and hands it back to Glenn.

Grinning proudly to myself, I hold up the keys up like a trophy head for everyone to see.

Maggie releases me, smiling breathlessly down at me in relief.

'Well done,' T-Dog exclaims with his hands, sharing a high five with me.

Kneeling in front of me, Dad cups my face in his hands. He don't give a damn about the keys. Are you okay?

'I'm okay. The keys were down the side of the desk. I couldn't reach them. I had to—,' Shoving at the air, I enthusiastically mime the struggle, making Maggie chuckle behind her hand. 'The walker was trying to get me through the chair.'

He smiles, wagging his thumbs across my cheeks before lowering his hands. 'I told you. Meatheads. But not you.'

'Not all the time, anyway.'

'You should've come back out when you couldn't find the keys.'

'Sorry.'

'It's alright. There won't be a next time. You did good.'

Then, taking the keys from me, he stands back up and returns to Rick's side in the dark room.

I stay right beside Maggie and Glenn as they make quick work of the storage room door, pushing it open. Their torches illuminate the shelves on either side of them, which to everyone's relief, are completely untouched, lined with all kinds of medicine. It wasn't all for nothing. Without bothering to read many of the labels, they swoop their arms through the masses of bottles, catching everything in their open backpacks and zippering them back up, before nodding to each other and stepping back outta the small room.

Let's go, Rick says as he shoos us forward. We're all eager to get the Hell outta this place.

Stepping through Thanton Memorial's broken glass doors, daylight breaks across my face.

The fresh, cold air floods into my dusty lungs.

When Carl spots me, it's like the bench burns his ass. He's calling my name as he comes running at me, crushing me in a hug that almost sends us both toppling over into the snow. A giggle is squeezed from me as I hug him back, feeling my bones creak under the pressure. Wow. For somebody who ain't eaten anything other than a bit of rabbit for the past two days, he sure is strong.

Pulling away, he holds both my shoulders as he worriedly exclaims something to me.

You're the coolest, bravest person ever, I'm gonna assume is what he's saying, I don't know how you did it!

He pulls me in for another, quicker hug.

When Herschel appears over his shoulder, I get the real story. 'He's telling you we were all very worried.'

Oh. Is that right?

Ow!, The boy scoffs as I land a punch to his shoulder, forcing him offa me.

'Tell him he's talking to Harley Dixon,' I say.

As the sentiment is passed on, Carl rolls his eyes at me, making a retort.

'He wants to remind you of the time he hugged you after you cried from a nightmare.'

Ow!, He complains again when I punch him.

As he rubs sorely at his shoulder, he can't help but giggle along with me.

'Come on,' Herschel interrupts us, herding the two of us back toward the group. 'Very well done, sweetie.'

'I was only a little scared.'

'Of course. This is Harley Dixon I'm speaking to, isn't it?'

Too right. 'Yes, it is!'

Stepping up to the crowd, we gather around the bench as Rick takes a seat next to his wife, uncapping the bottle of water in his lap. Her face looks awful pale-like, paler than the snow packed under our boots. Still, despite the effort it must take, she manages a smile. Her hands shake as she takes the water, watching Rick tap a small bottle of pills against her open palm until two tumble out. 

Being trapped in that room was one of the scariest things I've done. I can say that, now. But as she tips her head back and swallows the pills down with a gulp of water, I'm hit with the feeling that I would do it all over again if I had to.

She sighs, body swaying. We can only hope that it works.

As Rick soothes circles onto her lower back, his gaze accidently meets mine.

'Thank you', He signs, looking like he means every bit of it.

His blue eyes start to water just like they did last night, except there ain't no fire I can blame it on this time.

I only give him a single, shy nod, grabbing onto my Dad's hand. He don't need to thank me. I love Lori, too.

Then to everyone else, he says it again; Thank you.

Carl's hugging me again.

I don't bother punching him this time. I don't wanna do it, anyway.

Being back in Sharpsburg is different to what I thought it would be.

Aside from the old blood smeared across the roads, the way everything seems to have gone through a nightmare and fell back asleep shortly afterward, Sharpsburg is the one place we been that has not bothered to rot away quite yet. There ain't no bombing craters where parks or stores used to stand, no toppled police barricades, army trucks, no bruises from the week everything ended.

Petey's general store is still exactly where it always was, right next door to the news agency, the record store, the locksmith. I don't keep my head down like I planned to. I don't pretend I never knew this place, or the people in it, because I did. I hold my chin up to the light of the setting sun as we walk through the forgotten town, unafraid of the memories I can see behind each and every door.

You know this place. I did. I do. For a long while, it was pretty much the only thing I knew.

Each weekend, I would jump out of Dad's truck the second he pulled up on the handbrake, door slamming as I ran into my Mama's open arms. It would be late afternoon, sometimes twilight. There was no school the next day, no quizzes or beatings to worry about. Not on the good days, not when I was cruising down the sidewalk on my bike with a dollar note in my hand, on my way to Petey's. He would always insist on letting me pick an ice cream out for free, but it never worked. Have-it-her-way-Harley, he always called me, the nickname a hearty chuckle in his mouth. The wind was in my hair on the way home, because I had one back then, dollar note replaced with a fruity-flavored glob of ice cream frozen to a stick. Sugar melting onto my fingers, washed away in the play pool after dark.

I used to do things like that. We all did, I suppose.

As we pass by an empty parking lot, I notice the rainbow streamers of a lonely, fallen bike blowing around in the wind like a white flag. I wanna ride a bike again. Just for a minute. Maybe two, I think, as I hold my gaze on it for as long as I can.

Eventually, we make it to a park. Of course, I recognise this place as well, and so does my Dad.

That's why I can feel him staring at the back of my head.

I never stopped to think about how he knows Sharpsburg, too. He was right there with me on the porch of Petey's store, most the time, smoking cigarettes in the sun with melted ice cream drying out on his collarbones. He remembers it, too.

We used to come to this park all the time; me, Momma, and Dad, on the rare days they got along.

I got to pretend I was a different kid looking in on the three of us and thinking, What a nice family. I wish I was her.

Now, the monkey bars look more like the giant ribcage of an old beast rather than something I'd wanna play on.

A shrivelled walker, curled over the seat of one of the swings, lets the wind brush its fingers along the ground.

Everyone has a Before.

Even that walker.

Even if our Befores were all very different, at least our Afters are all the same. We're all here, sick, hungry, tired.

The park's trees and fences fall away after a while of more walking, making way for a suburban street.

Coming to a stop in the middle of the road, the ache in my feet worsens to a pang, pang, panging.

'Everything alright?' Glenn's asking me as a wave of tiredness suddenly washes over me.

'My feet hurt.' I answer. 'And don't say sorry.'

'I think we're going to stop soon. Don't worry.'

Rick considers the houses lined up in front of us, hands on his hips, as Dad walks up to us. 'What's wrong?'

'Her feet hurt. And are you tired?'

I could fall asleep right here in the snow. 'A little.'

Even when I was lost in the woods outside Herschel's farm, I still don't think I ever walked this much and for this long.

Giving me a regretful look, Dad offers, 'Do you need me to carry you?'

'I'm a big girl,' I tell him, yawning.

'I know. I asked you a question.'

They wait on my answer. I think about fighting it a minute longer, but I just don't have it in me. I'm reaching up for my Dad before I even realize it's what I'm doing, letting him lift me onto his chest as I wrap my arms and legs around him.

I could've definitely handled it. Yeah. It's just that, maybe it's okay if I don't for a while.

I can already feel my eyes drooping shut. I'm gonna fall asleep right here.

It's suddenly a lot easier to feel like just a girl, now.

My chin hooked over his shoulder, I watch through my heavy lids as Rick does a double take on something laying on the ground, turning to pick up what looks like a fallen street sign. The moonlight swells over the clouds, spilling onto the metal.

Brushing the frost off, he reveals the words, Bolton Drive.

Bolton Drive. To me, this was always just Dylan's street.

If we turn left here, there's some bigger houses down the way. I think it's prolly what my Dad's telling the group right now.

We're on the move again right after that, heading further into the suburbs. I'm saved from walking, instead snuggling into my Dad. It's almost impossible to shield my face from the oncoming winds as I peek out over his shoulder, the moon a silver ball in the sky behind us. I bet it's just about the only place left without any walkers, including the North Pole. If I were a bird, maybe I would forget all about Earth and just fly up there. I could look back down on it all like from a faraway window, watching as it slowly spins.

At a harsh gust of wind, I close my eyes, and the moon and all the stars vanish.

Sleep sweeps me up quickly. My mind floods with murky colors, then black, swirling like a shower drain.

When I open my eyes next, we're approaching a house I don't recognise.

'Shhhh,' Dad's soothing me, looking about as exhausted as I feel. 'It's alright. I'm putting you down.'

My feet slowly setting on the ground, Maggie takes my hand before I get the chance to feel the loss of Dad's warmth. We wait shivering at each other's side as the men clear out the house. Rick eventually sticks his head back out, waving us inside.

Climbing the porch, we huddle into the narrow corridor and spread out into the nearest room, the lounge room. Dad's already got a fire going for us as we make ourselves at home on the sofas, the hot breath of the flames quickly starting to melt the frost stuck to my coat. I hug myself, breathing deeply and slowly to try fight off the urge to fall right back asleep. As I notice Carl approaching, I scoot over to make room for him and his Momma, who settles her weight down on the sofa with the help of Maggie and Glenn.

I feel a little bad for being carried, even if I needed it. Lori made it all the way here on foot, deep into a sickness and carrying a baby inside of her. A lotta people might think a lady like her is weak, but they'd be wrong. There's many ways to be strong.

My Dad stands from where he was knelt by the fireplace, peeling off his beanie and sitting beside me.

As I look around the room, all I see are tired faces.

Mouse plops himself between my feet, the poor guy's fur ice-cold beneath my hands as I give him some pats.

We'll be warm soon, buddy, I think.

Everyone's attention is stolen when Rick steps up to the front of the room, fiddling with his beanie in his hands.

He gulps on nothing, nodding to himself. 

'I know we're all very tired,' Herschel translates for me as the words come, even though his arms must feel like they weigh a thousand pounds. 'Been tired for months. But let's just make the most of this and try to relax tonight. We've got a fire. We've got walls. Medicine. It's a Hell of a lot better than those garages back in Newnan. T and I will melt some snow for us to drink, and we got some food we just found in the kitchen. We'll take turns for watch through the night, but there's not much out there. You saw.'

Carol hesitates to raise her hand, shaking her head as she asks a question.

We turn back to Rick. 'I don't know. I don't like staying in one place long, but I'm thinking there's only a few more weeks left until Spring. It's not impossible to think we can tough it out here. There's not many other options right now.'

It looks like we're staying in Sharpsburg for a few more weeks, then. At least until the cold dies down.

There are worse places to end up.

'Try to warm up in the meantime.'

Leaving us to stew in thought, Rick and T-Dog pull their coats on tighter and disappear through the archway.

'You know something?' Beth asks after a minute or two, the only light in the room coming from the fire. It lends her face a pretty, dim glow as she glances at her Dad sitting next to her.  'Daddy thinks it's gonna be Christmas tomorrow.'

Oh, that's right. I'd almost forgotten.

Glenn sends him a, No shit?, sort of look.

'I just figured it would be about that time.' He explains, making Maggie light up. 'I have a sixth sense for it.'

My Dad scoffs, shrugging. 'Well, I don't have a calendar. Why not.'

Wait? Really?

'So, it's Christmas tomorrow?', I ask him, as if we ain't just making all this shit up.

Something so simple, the prospect of waking up on Christmas morning tomorrow even if it ain't in no official way, even if we ain't even got a tree, let alone a star to put on top of it, sparks excitement throughout the room. Yes, it's Christmas tomorrow. From the smiles breaking out on everyone's faces, Maggie giddily gripping onto Glenn to give him a shake, I can tell it's Christmas tomorrow.

Feeling just a little bit more awake than I did a moment ago, I exclaim again, 'It's Christmas tomorrow!'

My Dad seems to find this very amusing, smirking side-long at me.

There ain't much to say in the way of how our Christmases used to go, especially the ones after my second birthday, but I still remember seeing the church all lit up with decorations at night whenever we happened to drive past it. I always liked that.

Carl must exclaim the same thing I did with almost twice the energy, because Lori and Rick laugh.

'I can't believe,' Maggie gushes, 'I forgot about Christmas!'

'It's not your fault,' Glenn jokes, petting her shoulder. 'We've been busy trying not to die.'

'Good point.'

'I'm sure the Lord will forgive you,' Beth says.

'Yeah. He started all this shit, anyway.'

Maggie waves her hand around. 'Hey. A little respect for the Atheists in the room?'

When everyone turns to look at me and Dad, a round of laughter breaks out.

'We're only in it for the presents,' He agrees.

I nod. It's true.

'Me, too,' Glenn says.

'I just wish I we had some,' Beth pouts.

'We're alive,' Herschel argues, looking around at each person in the room. 'There's no present better than that.'

Aww. That cheesy line earns him a funny look from Maggie, who pulls him into a deathly-tight hug.

'I think there actually might be something better.'

Glenn sticks a finger up, standing and disappearing into the kitchen.

When he returns, he's cradling a bunch of shiny wrappers in his arms, dumping them all onto the coffee table. Snack packs. Crackers and cheese, salami and cookies, bread sticks, peanut butter. Those really are snack packs! What a lucky find!

Nobody hesitates. We all grab one, ripping the seals off and huffing the tasty smell that comes out.

'You just found these in there?,' Asks Beth.

'Yeah,' He answers, flopping back onto the sofa. 'They were in the pantry. There's cans, too.'

'I'm in love with whoever lived here.'

Mouse is staring at me as I pick up a piece of salami, so I toss it into his mouth.

I save the next one for myself, groaning at the nostalgic taste of school lunches.

'Better?' Glenn signs to me like a smartass, knowing damn well this is the best thing I ever tasted.

I stick my food-covered tongue out at him.

Blehhh!

Unexpectedly, he does the same thing back. Eugh. Gross!

When Carl notices what we're doing, he sticks his tongue out, too. Even grosser!

'Come on. Enough,' Dad tries to warn me, buts he regrets it a second later when a wet glob of salami lands in his lap.

This is what Rick and T-Dog walk in on as they come through the archway, holding cookware filled with chunks of snow and ice in front of them. My Dad's smacking the salami onto the floor as if it were fresh dog shit, Carl and I trying not to choke on our food, laughing at him. Mouse spinning in circles like a lunatic, spurred on by the chaos, making Carol laugh like she means it. Not that puny, polite little chuckle she does sometimes; a full belly laugh, holding onto Maggie for support. They was only gone a few minutes.

Rick smirks as he shakes his head, deadpanning something to the effect of, I see you found the food.

They set the cookware in front of the fire and join us on the sofas. 

'Why's everyone so happy?', Rick asks as he sits on the ottoman, confused, delighted, because there has to be a reason.

'It's Christmas tomorrow,' I gladly tell him.

'Oh, really?'

T-Dog asks the others, 'Wait, what? How do you know?'

'We don't.' Herschel admits, throwing Mouse a cube of cheese. 'But we deserve a Christmas, don't we?'

Yeah, I see the word slip from Rick's mouth.

'We deserve some eggnog, too,' T-Dog adds, making himself laugh just like he always does.

'Tell me about it.'

'Cover your ears, kids,' Carol tells us, even though she's laughing, too.

I hear that right? As the deaf one outta the two of us, I jokingly gesture to my ears. I can't hear shit, anyway!

As everyone laughs all over again, my Dad reaches out to try and cover my eyes, but I bat him offa me. Nice try.

'You got the card, now, kid.' T-Dog tells me, like it's some secret club I've joined.

'I got the what?'

'The card. I got mine, too. 'Oh, yeah? Is it because I'm black'?'

Carol smacks him. 'Whatever.'

'Next time your Dad gives you in trouble, you can pull the, 'Oh, yeah? Is it because I'm deaf?'

That's silly!

'Don't give her ideas.'

'Too late,' I grin devilishly. 'I got the card, now, Dad.'

He rolls his eyes, trying his best not to laugh, too.

'You can't do that, Harley.' T-Dog mimes. 'Oh, yeah? Is it because I'm deaf?'

'What did I just say?'

Sorry, man, T-Dog chuckles, biting on a tiny bread stick.

What's eggnog, Carl asks his parents curiously, reminding us why we're talking about 'cards' in the first place.

Eggnog is a milky-lookin' drink that got booze in it, which is why Rick and Lori brush off the question. I tried it once, during a party at my Meemaw's, after one of my Uncles shrugged and said, Fuck it. Tasted like garbage sprinkled with cinnamon.

'Let's just stick with what we have,' Herschel suggests. 'There must be some other traditions we can do?'

'Our family used to share a favorite moment from that year,' Beth says. 'Maybe we can do that?'

'That's a great idea, Beth.'

'I got one.' Glenn raises his hand. 'Finding that car in Atlanta.'

'Oh, that was good.'

'Sad we had to leave it.' He agrees. 'I also liked the time I fell into a dumpster after we left the CDC.'

'What?,' Maggie scrunches her nose at him.

'Looking back at it, it was pretty funny.'

God dang, I remember that day. I was sitting off to the side with Sophia, watching the scene unfold together.

'Morales had to grab your ass to pull you out,' I tease him.

Rick tries to hide the fact that he's chuckling, as Maggie asks him what he was doing in a dumpster.

'We'd lost everything. We were searching for supplies, but I saw some yellow boots and I wanted them for Harley.'

Everyone croons, Awwww.

'I remember those boots, actually.' Beths recalls. 'What happened to them?'

'I fed them to the cows,' I shrug, so I don't gotta bring up the farm, where I left them in our tent the night it all burned down.

'Hey. I risked my life for those boots.'

Rick corrects him, 'I think you risked your ass, is what she just said.'

'It's what I said.'

'I got one.' My Dad says, dipping a cracker in some peanut butter. 'The day we put Glenn in the well.'

'Remember how he squealed?,' T-Dog giggles.

'No,' Glenn tries to convince us, doing a very bad job of it. 'I don't remember that. Never happened.'

'That walker was next-level gross.'

Next in the line to share, I decide, 'My favorite moment is when I found Mouse.'

'He loves you, doesn't he?,' Maggie smiles.

I throw him another piece of salami, hoping that the answer would be yes.

Carl tells everyone his favorite moment from this year was sneaking off into the woods with me, but his parents both give him a look, so he wisens up and changes his answer to something a little less totally forbidden; going to shooting practice.

When it's Lori's turn, she mentions a time she pushed Carl on the Greene's swing.

Rick's favorite moment is beating Herschel at checkers, something that the old man lets him get away with sharing.

'Gotta be seeing Daryl wake up after surgery,' T-Dog says after that, startling me with how suddenly sentimental it is.

The firelight flickers back and forth on the rug for a few moments.

My Dad subtly replies, Thanks, man.

'I was gonna say that, too,' I say to be funny.

'Yeah,' Glenn backs me up. 'You totally were. In fact, I change my answer, too. Favorite moment; Meeting Maggie.'

The woman pouts up at him, grabbing his hand, threading their fingers together.

'I change mine, too.' Dad says. 'The moment I found out Harley wasn't bitten.'

'That's mine, too.'

'Me, too,' Just about half the group nod, agreeing.

Then, everyone's coming up with different answers, talking over the top of each other. Bringing Harley back safe from the gas station, is T's second answer, but he also has a third and fourth and a fifth, because he just can't pick one. Making it outta the CDC alive. Finding the farm. Saving Glenn after he gave blood. Herschel's favorite moment is all the moments he's kept his daughters safe, an answer that earns him a big hug from both Maggie and Beth this time, because, I don't know what I'd do without my girls.

Rick and Glenn finding Daddy safe, Beth says, and then Maggie; That's mine, too.

I find myself with a hundred new answers, too. The moment Jacqui and I kicked up all them butterflies outta the grass as we ran to the house, after she told me my Daddy was alive. The morning Maggie made us scrambled eggs and tea for breakfast. All them times I shared a peach with someone while we sat in the sun. Lori making that joke about Maggie and Glenn being in love, and how I gagged at it back then. I can't forget about the time Carl hugged me as I cried, as Dad cut my hair, as I petted a cow's nose or fed a chicken.

All the little things and the big things, but also all the sad things. In a way, I'm grateful for them, too.

If Jacqui was here, or Sophia, or Momma or Meemaw, or my cousins, who could be anywhere by now, dead or alive, or Morales or Eliza or Louis or Miranda, who I ain't sure if I'll ever see again, or even our dog Tank, I like to think they'd be grateful for me, too.

'I told you, didn't I?,' Herschel smiles. 'No better present.'

After that — After Glenn starts to tear up and we all tease him for it — We decide to wrap it up for the night.

'I love you guys,' He blubbers, like we didn't already know, like we haven't almost died for each other a hundred times over.

Okay, buddy, Dad's saying, reaching to pat his shoulder.

'I think it's time to turn in.'

Beth covers her mouth as she yawns. 'Yeah. I'm so tired.'

'Tell me if anybody sees Santa Claus,' T-Dog says non-committedly.

'I'm going to grab the blankets and pillows from upstairs.' Rick announces, standing up. 'Who's on first watch? Me?'

I'll do it, My Dad offers, letting Maggie comfort Glenn, but he's turned down.

He was frostbitten from head to toe only yesterday. I wouldn't let him out there, neither.

I can do it, T-Dog decides, and that's that. 'Maybe it'll be me that sees him.'

No fair, Carl whines.

Rick leaves and brings back down a whole bunch of bedding that he plops on the floor, giving everyone free reign to pick out what they want as T makes himself scarce. I pull out a small pillow and what must be a toddler's blanket, letting Dad help me get settled on the sofa. I lay with my head against one arm rest, Carl resting his against the other. Both our Dads tuck us in.

'Goodnight,' He signs to me, knelt just beside the sofa. 'You still hungry or thirsty?'

I shake my head, yawning. 'Just sleepy.'

'You were very brave today.' He tells me, earnest eyes boring into mine. 'Not many kids would do what you did.'

'I just wanted to help Lori and the baby.'

'I know. They got a better chance, now.'

'Does that mean I get to name the baby?'

He smirks a little bit. 'We'll see.'

I glimpse Beth muttering to Hershel over Dad's shoulder, sharing a big blanket. I sign, 'Would Momma be proud, too?'

His face falls. The words hit him right in the heart, a poisonous bolt. All he says is, 'Yes.'

'Good,' I manage to reply, right before my eyes start to droop closed.

'Goodnight,' He signs again.

Placing a kiss to my cheek, my Dad pulls back and lays his own blanket down on the floor in front of me, laying facing the fire.

Rick was right. This is a Hell of a lot better than those garages back in Newnan.

I would like to help T-Dog spot Santa, I really would, but I just can't stay awake even one moment longer.

I'm being shaken gently.

Groaning, I open my eyes. Dad's face is inches from mine, all the windows behind him filled with grey daylight.

Adjusting the crossbow on his shoulder, he signs, 'Good morning.'

'Good morning.'

Sitting up, I groggily take in the sight of the group still laid out across the room, fast asleep. All except for Dad, and also Rick and Carl. I see them standing in the archway, both dressed for the snow just like Dad is, whispering to each other.

'Get your coat,' Dad says, and before I get the chance to ask what's going on; 'We're going searching for presents.'

We're what?!

After waking Glenn and putting him on watch, the four of us set out into the neighbourhood. The sun slowly rises from behind the falling snow, eclipsing the roofs of the houses around us and washing the morning in a soft, pink and yellow hue. It's quiet, peaceful, just how it always is before the day fully starts. Carl, Mouse, and I are rowdily running down the sidewalk, disturbing it all.

It's Christmas. According to us, it's Christmas, and ain't nobody here to tell us otherwise!

Dad and Rick follow after us until we make it to the park, the two oldies totally left in our dust as we make a beeline for the playground and pounce on the metal merry-go-round. It's been so long since I went on one of these. It feels like we're breaking a rule, a rule that nobody said aloud, but we ain't. Our Dads told us loud and clear that today, we're allowed to do whatever we want.

I'll spin us, Carl's laughing as he pushes on one of the handles, Mouse wisely standing back.

I still remember to hold on tight. Here we go!

Once he's picked up enough speed, he makes a jump for the platform. He skids around like a drunk, landing on his ass. He hugs the closest handle. The world spins into a multi-coloured smear. I just can't stop laughing, not even if I tried.

As the ride slows down, it feels like I'm 'bouta hurl up all that salami I ate last night.

Again!, I shout.

The next time we come to a stop, we round on the sight of Dad and Rick standing off to the side, watching us.

'Wanna get pushed?,' My Dad asks us, nodding to the swings.

I jump off the platform. 'Yes!'

Rick effortlessly peels the dead walker I saw yesterday offa the seat, throwing it aside and helping me on. I'on know how long we swing for, but the warm, pink sun spills and spills between the trees until it's on my face, making me forget the cold.

Spring is right around the corner, now.

This whole nightmare is almost over. I can just tell.

One of these days, the sun will crest the horizon and the snow just won't come.

It doesn't take long for us to make it back to town square.

'Where should we start?', Rick asks.

'I want to look in Petey's,' I answer right away, pointing to the storefront. 'But Carl can't come.'

Obviously, it's because I'm gonna be picking something out for him, which is why he starts giggling when Dad translates.

Rick ruffles the boy's hair, nudging him in the opposite direction. 'It's a plan. We'll search over here.'

'There's a toy store that way,' Dad adds helpfully.

'We'll check it out. Good luck.'

'Good luck. Watch out for elves.'

He laughs a bit as I whistle for Mouse, who runs after us. 'We will.'

Passing barrels of wrinkled flowers, Dad sticks his fingers between the automatic glass doors and forces them open, pulling his crossbow down as they roll apart on the tracks. Out of the darkness, a human-shaped shadow stumbles toward us.

It drops to the floor before it can even open its mouth.

Lowering his crossbow, Dad nods me forward, tugging his bolt outta the walker's wet face.

Look around, He says, wiping the blood off on his thigh.

The first thing I check is the comic section, of course. I'm hoping they got the series Carl likes, the one with the kick-ass astronauts and the evil aliens on the cover that I can't remember the name of. Captain Noel and the Astronauts, or something like that. I read it just the other week while he was dozed off, just to see what all the fuss was about. Weren't hard to see why he likes it.

As I step over a fallen sale sign, Mouse sniffs around the shelves, skulking around the corner.

Approaching the display stand, I skip right over the magazines and check out the comics, flicking through the covers. There's pictures of supervillain scientists, monsters, ninjas in impossible poses, wielding metal stars. They's all dumb-looking, so I'm sure Carl would eat them up like hot cakes for breakfast, but I really want the alien one. He been after the next volume since we met him.

There's a tap on my shoulder.

Hm?

Glancing up at Dad, I watch as he pulls a comic down from the highest rack, holding it out for me to see.

Captain Nate and the Awesome Eight, The quirky logo reads. 

Grabbing it up like it might disappear before my eyes, I feel the pages crinkle under my fingers. This is the one!

Volume Four, It says at the bottom. The final mission.

I hold up three fingers to Dad.

Understanding, he flips through the comics again before handing me the third volume.

I take it, hugging them both to my chest before signing, 'These are for Carl. He loves them.'

'Really? I thought they were for Beth.'

Pssh. He ain't funny. 'Let's keep looking. We need something for her, too!'

He puts the comics in my backpack for me, following me around the store to continue our hunt for the perfect presents.

For Beth, I find a couple bottles of nail polish in the tiny makeup display, throwing in a black tube-thing that reads, Mascara, along with them for Lori, or maybe for Maggie. I ain't sure. I ask Dad what he thinks, but he got even less of a clue than I do.

I decide to throw in a second tube and some eyeshadow thingies just to be safe.

For Rick and Herschel, we decide on a pair of woolly socks for each of them. You just can't go wrong with socks.

When we find some shirts with silly phrases on them, I know instantly that they would be perfect for Glenn and T-Dog.

Lastly, Dad makes us grab a bunch of random things that we need, like canned food and lighters, before we turn into the pet aisle. Mouse is there, nosing a package of tennis balls along the floor. He looks confused when they roll under the shelves. I crouch down, pulling them back out. It looks like he found his own present. He watches me stash them in my bag, pink tongue lolling happily. 

On our way out, I pass by the rack again, stealing a girly magazine off it that I think Carol will like.

Carl and Rick meet us back on the street, both their backpacks suspiciously fatter than they were the last time we saw them.

'How'd it go?'

Good, Rick says, as Carl tries to get a peek inside my bag. 'Want to swap?'

Before the boy gets to close, I fend him off, giggling as he wrestles me.

'Sure.' Dad pulls him offa me. 'Hard to get a present for your kid when they're right beside you.'

'Exactly.' Rick chuckles, offering his hand to me.

I take it, blowing a raspberry at Carl's back as he walks off with my Dad in the opposite direction.

The store Rick and I check out is the record store, Jameson's Jams, just across the way. After he scopes the place out, coming up empty, it's safe for us to go in. The smell of dust and plastic swarms us I look around at the tubs of record sleeves and CDs.

'It used to be tidy in here,' I sign to him, even though he could prolly guess that.

The doors close behind him, shutting the snow out.

' Did you go here often?'

'All the time.' I meander up to the nearest bin. 'My parents loved music.'

As I pick up an edgily-decorated sleeve that catches my eye, Rick steps up to my side.

'Something tells me their music taste clashed,' He jokes. 'Am I right?'

No. 'They both had bad taste.'

Scoffing, I throw the sleeve back, walking around to the other side of the tubs.

Chuckling to himself, he glances down at the record I'd been holding. It fits my Dad to damn T. I don't take it with me, though, because we ain't got no way to play it. It'd just be a waste of space, so I crack open a CD instead, taking out the paper.

Tossing the useless part back in the bin, I look up to see Rick already looking at me.

He's frowning, his brown hair poking out from underneath his beanie, curled over his faint wrinkles.

'What?,' I gesture impatiently.

What's he want?

I hate to admit it, but there's a little stain of bitterness left inside me after what he did to my Momma's photo.

It weren't like it was on purpose, but it didn't have to be.

'I'm sorry,' He signs, the tubs separating us by at least ten feet feeling more like a hundred.

'It's okay,' I brush it off. 'I'm not mad at you.'

'I know. Trust me, I can tell when you're mad at me,' He smiles for a fleeting moment. 'I'm apologising, anyway.'

'That was the only photo I had of her, you know.'

'I know.'

'Her name was Lindsey.'

'I know. Your Dad talks to me about her, sometimes.'

'Why did you throw it?'

He pauses, picking at a sticker on the wood before fessing up, 'Shane makes me angry, honey. I was angry. I threw it.'

'Angry? Not sad?'

'No. Not sad.' He shakes his head. 'We were all past that when we saw the truck leaving the farm.'

'He gave me the locket. My Dad threw it away the night you burned the photo.'

'Yes, I know. He talked to me about that, too.'

'He did?'

'He was going to let you keep it.'

'Why didn't he?'

'You know why.'

Yeah. I do. I don't even know why I asked that. He threw it away for the same reason I'm not allowed to talk about Ronnie.

Rick changes the subject, the tension in his shoulders melting away as he signs, 'Thank you. Again.'

'For the hospital?'

He nods. 'You were brave.'

'Dad said the same thing.'

'It's true. Even I would have been scared, and I'm thirty-four years old.'

'You're never scared.'

'I'm scared all the time.' I'm pretty sure he didn't mean to say that. I wait until he says something else. 'Thank you.'

Hell. He shouldn't make me laugh like that. I'mma breathe in all this dust. 'You're worse than Glenn.'

'What do you mean?'

'You can't stop saying 'Thank you'. He can't stop saying 'Sorry'. Feet hurt. Sorry. My ears ring. Sorry. It's funny.'

'He's sensitive,' Rick agrees fondly.

'I know. He cried last night.'

A muted chuckle. 'That's right. He did.'

As I look off to the side, something on the wall catches my eye.

Guitars. A lot of them.

Abandoning the piece of paper, I run over to them, stepping onto a chair and pulling down an electric guitar.

Rick is eye-level with me when he comes over. 'Your Dad said he knows how to play.'

Nodding, I give the strings a dramatic thrum.

It must be painful, going by the way Rick looks like he's just heard nails going down a chalkboard.

I can't help but laugh, turning to hook it back up. Like the record and the CD, it would just be a waste of space. Electric guitars don't sound so good if you don't got anything to plug them into. Acoustic ones, however, they're perfect anywhere.

Hopping onto to the next chair over, I pull down a classically wooden guitar, cold to the touch. 

When I strum this one, Rick gives a thumbs up. It'll need tuning, but that's a piece of cake.

Jumping down, I have a thought.

'How the Hell do we hide this from him?'

He looks the thing up and down. 'We might have to give it to him now.'

Aw. 'That's not as fun.'

'How about this — You hide behind me. When we see him, you jump out. Is that fun?'

Hmmm. 'Okay. Let's do that!'

Carl's a lot harder to appease than I am, which must be the reason Rick lets out a little sigh of relief. 'Great.'

'It needs a shoulder strap,' I decide, grabbing one from the rack nearby and ripping it outta the plastic. I try to figure it out, turning it over to get a good look, but then I just pass it off to Rick's mittened hands. 'You know how to put it on?'

'Let me try.' He accepts the challenge, kneeling in front of the guitar.

Buttoning each end of the leather strap to the metal attachments, it looks like he's got it.

He hands it back, raising his brows at me. 'Remember to jump out. We have to get him to crap his pants.'

'It's a plan.'

Before we meet back up, we stop by the thrift store next door so that Rick can grab the shirt he'd had in mind for Carl, a simple thing with a superhero he likes on the chest. As we leave through the front doors, Rick herds me in behind his back.

We're only waiting in town square for a minute or two before he signals me that they're coming over.

When I feel the time is right, I jump out!

Rahh!

Dad don't quite crap his pants, but his eyes do widen ever so slightly. In Dixon terms, he's chilled to the bone.

My back-up man watches on, laughing.

I hold out the guitar once the moment's passed, hoping it's obvious that this is his Christmas present.

Woah, breathes Carl as my Dad takes it carefully, Mouse's tail batting around wildly at his ankle.

We watch as he drags his thumb down the strings, remembering what it feels like. Slowly, he starts to smile.

Looking up at me, he seems very, very pleased. 'Thank you. I love it.'

'Merry Christmas!'

'We knew we couldn't hide it from you,' Rick explains, 'So we scared you instead.'

'Did it work?'

Dad nods, frowning as he mouths the word, Terrifying, before kneeling to wrap me in a hug. I kiss his cheek.

'Did you get everything you wanted?'

Nodding again, Dad stands and passes the guitar to Rick, seeing as he's already wearing his crossbow.

Pulling it on, Rick nods in the direction we came from. 'Let's head back, then.'

We make it only five feet before we notice Carl isn't following us.

Looking back at him, he points at the parking lot across the street.

We follow his finger.

Across the street, the lonely bike with the streamers still lays there in the snow, next to a couple other bikes.

We glance between each other, a glint of something cheeky in our eyes.

We're all thinking the same thing, ain't we?

It's a long walk, anyways.

Who the Hell bikes in the snow, is what a sensible person would ask themselves as they saw us race past their house.

We do!, is what I'd shout back at them.

We're zooming down the streets of Sharpsburg like we're late for a wedding, the most ridiculous sight the apocalypse ever did see. Rick, taking the lead just like always, with a guitar bumping around on his back as he pumps the peddles of a pink bike. Carl on the little one, its rainbow streamers blowing out on either side of him without a care in the world. Mouse, sprinting to keep up.

He's going so fast; I think his ears might just fly off and smack me in the face!

It's a challenge to not fall off the handlebars of Dad's bike just from laughing so hard.

I clutch onto it harder as we crest over the top of a hill. Rick goes flying down first, then Carl. Dad wraps an arm around my stomach, hugging me to his chest as we both laugh against each other. We're next. My stomach lurches. My toes go numb. Then we're free-falling, and the tyres are shaking beneath us and the handlebars are jiggling all over the place, the wind racing past us.

Sucking in a deep breath, I let out a shriek of, Wuh-Hooooooo!

My heart's beating outta my chest like when a walker's got me in its grasp, when I feel most alive.

Whatever day I've said is the best day of my life — This is it, now. Hands down.

Rick reaches the bottom first, doing a fancy little skid in the snow and glancing over his shoulder at us to see our reaction.

Carl gives him a thumbs down, making him laugh as he turns back around.

The hill flattens out into more suburbia.

We slow down to a more leisurely pace for the rest of the ride back, and simply enjoy the morning together, trailing the sidewalks like a bunch of kids. The sun is well into the sky now, shining through the frigid air without any clouds to cover it up.

When I spot the house in the distance, I'm almost sad.

As we pull into the driveway, bumping over the curb, Glenn stands from his seat on the porch steps.

Hey, guys, He's laughing, perplexed.

Rick answers him with a few flicks of his bell, braking to a stop.

Where'd you go?, He asks, as I jump down from the handlebars.

Carl dumps his bike on the ground and holds up his backpack, shouting, Presents!

He gawks. No shit?

No shit!, He exclaims, running straight past him and up the porch.

I catch Rick sharing a funny look with my Dad, but he lets the swear word go. It's that type of day.

The adrenaline-high don't leave my body even as I follow everyone inside the house, stepping into the busy lounge room. We're greeted by the rest of our group, who are more than awake by now, hugging us as we come through the archway. They're completely beaming. It's obvious. They've heard the great news — We went out in the early morning to do Santa's bidding, for no other reason than because we managed to live long enough to, and because we deserve it. For once, we can ignore everything else and it'll all be okay.

Shrugging off my backpack, I set it down on the coffee table. Carol and Herschel tidy away the empty snack packs as Dad, Rick, and Carl set theirs down, too. Everybody's eyeing the bags excitedly, tryna see if they can make out the goodies inside.

'You guys are sneaky,' T grins, wide enough to show off the gap between his two front teeth. 'Sneaky!'

'Where did you go?!,' Maggie wants to know.

She lounges back on the sofa, Mouse jumping into her lap.

'Town square.' Rick's looking livelier than he has all Winter; all year, maybe. 'We left while you were all asleep.'

T seems to have an epiphany. 'It's you guys!'

'What?,' He asks.

'You're Santa!'

Realizing the man is pulling our legs, Rick rolls his eyes.

Carl goes on to ramble all about our adventures. By the way he's miming it all out, I can tell he ain't leaving out our visit to the playground. Everyone's watching him with nothing but joy in their eyes, adding comments here and there, laughing.

When Beth notices the guitar, my Dad proudly shows it off to the room.

'Harley found it,' He signs, reigning everyone back in, reminding them to use signs. 'Pretty, ain't it?'

Herschel turns to look at me. 'What a wonderful, wonderful gift.'

'I got more,' I tease, giving my backpack a tempting wiggle. I can't wait to give out the rest of the presents!

'Let's just get right into it then, right?,' Rick suggests. 'Go crazy.'

That's all the permission anyone needs.

As the three of them open their backpacks and start handing out presents left and right, I get to opening mine.

The first things I pull out are the stupid shirts for Glenn and T-Dog, walking over to them and putting them in their hands. Maggie's laughing her ass off as they hold them up to their chests, cluelessly peering down at the text. I step back to admire my work. Sorry I'm late, T's shirt reads, and Hell, it's even funnier than I imaged it would be, I was doing my hair! I think he's laughing something like, You little punk, before he glances over at Glenn's to see the damage. I'm with stupid, His says, except the arrow is pointing at his face.

Aw Hell naw!, T-Dog unabashedly laughs.

'Put them on!,' I demand, taking the fabric in my hands. Glenn helps me out, pulling it over what he's already wearing and straightening it out so the message is on full display. T-Dog does the same thing, even if he does call me a punk again.

'How do we look?,' Glenn asks me and Maggie when they're done, giving a stiff twirl.

'Don't answer that,' T-Dog says.

I give Maggie her gift next, the Mascara. She plants a kiss on my cheek and pulls me in for a tight hug, releasing me so I can head over to the other ladies. Carol gratefully takes the magazine, Lori and Beth Oohing and Aahing over the makeup.

It's no 'Electric Spring Citrus', but Beth still seems very touched by the bottle of yellow polish.

Next, I pull out the tennis balls. Boy, does that get Mouse's attention. I rip off the seal, sending them all bouncing across the living room floor, almost tripping some people over. Mouse darts after this one and that one, chasing them all over the place as I hand the socks to Herschel and Rick. They're both delighted, taking turns giving me a hug. We was right. Ya can't go wrong with socks.

'Carl and your Dad have something for you,' Rick tells me as he pulls away, pointing over to them.

I tap Carl on the shoulder, and when the two of them turn around and realize me, his face lights up.

Harley!, He's exclaiming.

He digs through his bag and holds out my two presents. 

'Thank you!,' I sign, taking them. Oh, wow. A diary and a packet of colored pencils. I don't gotta squeeze my thoughts into the margins, no more. I got fresh, blank pages, enough to prolly last me a whole year. Giving Carl a hug, I hold up a finger; Wait.

Reaching into my backpack and feeling out the comics, I pause just to be dramatic, before I pull them out for him to see. His jaw drops as he snatches them up. All them months hearing him complain, and watching him read the same volume over and over, makes it all the more satisfying to see him flick through the pages, realizing with mounting horror that it's everything he dreamt of.

Thank you, He's shouting, Thank you!

'Wanna see what I got you?,' Dad says next. 'You can both play with it, but it's for you, okay?'

'Okay! Show me!'

Carl and I crouch down with him as he unzippers his backpack. What he pulls out is not like anything I would've expected.

A big, flat white box with a photo on the front of some kids kicking a soccer ball into a little pop-up goal in the sun.

'Can't play soccer without a goal.' He smirks as I take the box in my hands, ready to tear it open with my teeth if I gotta.

They both help me pick the tape off the cardboard, pulling it open and turning the whole thing upside down. The goal slides out. Having finally been broken out of the confines of its box, it immediately springs into shape, almost smacking us all in the face.

Dodging it with a laugh, I exclaim, 'Thank you, Dad!' 

'Do you like it?,' He asks.

'I love it! How do we set it up?'

Looking about, he finds a small baggie of metal stakes that fell out with it, and a page of instructions.

I lean in closer to take a peek as he skims over them, but it all looks simple enough.

'Easy,' He decides. 'We can set it up in the front yard, yeah?'

'Yeah. I'm gonna smoke you both so bad.'

Dad thwacks my arm with the piece of paper. 'Hey. Who said I'm playing?'

'Oh. So, you're scared.' I nod empathetically, feeling smug. 'That's okay. I'm rusty, too.'

'Seriously?'

'I only won three medals when I was in school.'

'I'm old, kid. I'm in my thirties. I'm pretty much dead.'

'Loud and clear. You're scared of losing.'

He rolls his eyes. 'You're a brat. Don't cry when you lose.'

'I've never cried in my life, Dad. Ask Carl.'

As soon as he passes on the question, Carl levels me with the most, Get serious, expression I ever seen in my life.

Whatever. 'I'll still win!'

'We'll see,' He says as I glance at the rest of the group.

'This was so thoughtful of you guys,' Maggie signs from her seat on the sofa, doing that little pout she does.

With all the presents handed out, I take my time looking around the room. T and Glenn are still wearing their t-shirts, of course. If I could have it my way, they wouldn't ever wear anything else. It looks like Rick and Carl gifted Glenn a magazine about race cars, and T-Dog a flashy, gold chain necklace that he manages to make look cool. Lori and Herschel are wearing new matching jackets, the material purple and puffy. They look like father and daughter, sitting there like that, Lori's head resting on the old man's shoulder. Beside them, Carol's blowing air onto Beth's painted nails, while Mouse lays on the floor, gnawing at the tennis ball he must've decided is his favorite.

And Rick. He's not pouring over a map. He's not frowning to himself as he cleans a gun. He's not snapping at one of us to, Stop that, We need to stay focused. He's just smiling faintly next to Glenn, refusing to reveal to anyone this was all his idea.

'I'm just glad there's no wrapping paper to clean up this year,' He chuckles, looking at Lori.

The woman smirks, shaking her head. Bad memories, I guess.

'Every year,' He continues, gesturing to an invisible pile in his lap, 'We would end up with this much.'

'You're not the only ones.' T-Dog scoffs, like this is a lifelong issue he's faced.

'Oh, yeah. You were a garbage man, weren't you?,' Glenn remembers.

'Minimum wage, brother,' He agrees, bringing the pizza-boy in for a bro-hug.

'What have you got there, Harley?,' Maggie asks as they pull apart.

'A soccer goal,' I excitedly answer, before holding up Rick and Carl's presents. 'And a diary and pencils!'

'I don't want you to think it's for schoolwork with Lori,' Rick says. 'Carl just told me he's seen you journalling.'

'I love it,' I shake my head. 'Thank you.'

That bitterness that I'd been feeling toward him, it disappears just as quickly as it came.

'You haven't been writing anything bad about me, have you?,' Glenn asks threateningly.

'Just a little bit,' I shrug.

'She's a brat, isn't she?,' My Dad jokes.

'She's a total brat.'

'Hey! I don't like you, either.'

'Well, Merry Christmas, everyone.' Maggie says to wrap things up. 'Time to take this outside. We got a game to play.'

'Sounds like it,' Rick agrees.

'Come on.' Dad stands back up, grabbing the soccer goal and the stakes.

Jumping up and pulling on Maggie's sleeve, I exclaim up at her, 'We should be on the same team!'

'Girl power,' She agrees, frowning stubbornly as we descend the porch steps.

Mouse goes running out into the snow with his tennis ball. Dad heads over to the fence, setting down the goal and pushing the stakes through the rubber loops to secure it to the ground. I tell him I hope he did a good job of it, because me and Maggie are gonna be making every goal we shoot for. It's Dad and Carl versus us two girls, so the competition is even fiercer. We gotta win!

'We got this,' Maggie goads as T-Dog takes up the goalie position.

Carol pumps her fist in the air. 'Let's go, girls!'

Everyone starts cheering us on as Maggie kicks the ball straight over to me. The game's begun! I stop it with my foot, watching as she skirts around Dad, shouting for me. I boot it back to her at just the right moment, running forwards.

Maggie dukes Dad, left, right, left, before she kicks it right between his feet and back to me.

I stop it again with my foot.

Carl's on me, suddenly. He tries to use his foot to steal the ball away from me, but I don't let him!

Keeping him at arm's length, I line up my shot with the goal. I've done it a million times before. What's one more!

I rear my foot back, and—!

T-Dog's far too big and slow to see it coming. The ball shoots right past him — Goal! — and crashes into the meshing.

'Point for the girls,' Rick announces from the sidelines.

Maggie runs up to me, grabbing my hands and squealing happily, with the boys sulking together in the background.

We end up winning. There's a few close calls here and there, but we're just too quick on our feet for them to really get any smooth moves in. As the winning goal is made by Maggie, Carl stomps his foot into the snow, complaining, Aww, man!

We use every last bit of energy we have left in us to play for the rest of the morning. For once, not just for getting out of bed, or making it through the day. We manage to get a couple more rounds of soccer in before somebody throws a snowball at my Dad while he's trying to kick a goal, and then it all devolves into a snowball fight. There's no teams or rules; just clumps of snow flying across the yard, people falling over, Rick laughing, and Glenn getting dogpiled to the ground until Dad has to come and rescue him from us.

Nobody's really winning, but I don't think anyone's keeping count, anyway. Nobody's losing, either.

Except maybe Carl, when he tanks a snowball directly to the face.

I gasp. Youch!

He wipes it off with a grin, scurrying off to start preparing some returning fire.

I hurry to join him behind the wall of snow, bulking up my snowball before launching it at one of the adults.

It hits Glenn in the jaw. He lurches; falls onto his ass.

Me and Carl share a high five!

To think I was dreading coming back to this town, when it's actually given me one of the best days of my life.

Is it bad I'm happy the world ended?

Probably, but I don't care.

FIVE MONTHS LATER.

I can hear light birdsong in the trees.

We've stopped again, on some highway or other. I'on know. They all look the same to me. Grey road, winding up a hill, flanked on both sides by a strip of dirt and twigs. While the others get outta the cars, slamming their doors shut and grouping together to discuss what's next, I turn my head away from them and gaze out the passenger side window. The sun warms my face. I remember back during the Wintertime; we hardly ever saw the sun. Hell. That was forever ago. Nowadays, we been fending off heatstroke, feels like.

I close my eyes, relishing in the sounds around me. Leaves brushing, idle engines rumbling.

There are a lot of moments like this for me, where I'll just ignore what everyone else is doing and listen. I'll listen to anything. The car radio, if anybody's got it playing, even if it's a song I don't like. A river flowing. A deer trilling. It's the best part of my day.

"We got nowhere else to go," Herschel's suddenly saying, and then I'm opening my eyes again.

The group is gathered around the hood of the car I'm sat up in, splaying a map out for them to study.

"When this herd meets up with this one," Maggie points, "We'll be cut off. We'll never make it South."

"What'd you say it was? About 150 head?" Dad estimates.

"That was last week." Glenn's shaking his head, squinting against the sun. "It could be twice that by now."

I've heard this exact conversation about thirty times over by now.

That herd from last year; It's thawed and split into two, and neither are getting any smaller. The more they walk, the more they pick up. It's how it's always gone. They been following us, and we been running. That's how that's always gone, too.

We had a couple places we holed up for a while. Sharpsburg served us well while it lasted, but we had to move, eventually.

Now, we're back on the run.

"The river could've delayed them," Herschel suggests. "If we move fast, we might have a shot to tear right through here."

"Yeah, but if that group joins with that one, they could spill out this way."

"So, we're blocked."

We're always blocked, I want to tell Maggie. You know this by now.

In moments like these, I think back to the day we had that snowball fight and try to remember what everyone's smiles looked like.

"Only thing to do is double back at 27," Rick says, "And swing back this way."

Rick's different. For Rick, I think back to the bike ride.

T-Dog's getting frustrated. "We picked through that place, already. It's like we spent the past five months going in circles."

"Yeah, I know. I know."

"Is this what we're doing, then?"

When Rick nods, T-Dog asks him, "Is it alright if we head down to the river to fill up on water, then?"

"Sure. Knock yourself out," He says as they disperse, Maggie rolling up the map.

Herschel whispers something to Rick, then, and I can't quite catch it. My hearing aids ain't that good, but I know it's about Lori because they glance over at her in the car behind me. It's probably the, She can't keep doing this, conversation. Like always, Rick's wiping his sweaty forehead, bullshitting his way through an answer, and like always, Herschel is patient with him. They know he's right.

Lori's about to burst, way her stomach's been looking these days. She's gonna give birth any day now.

I'm just glad she got better and stayed better.

That was a nasty sickness.

Herschel leaves Rick to think about what he's said, making an opening for Dad to ask him to go hunting.

I'm surprised when he turns to me. "You wanna come, chicken?"

There's that Southern twang I once forgot the sound of.

'Come hunting with you?,' I sign, just outta habit. Sometimes, my voice is just too loud for me to bare.

"Yeah. You can stretch yer legs a little. How 'bout it?"

Not wanting to spend one more second in this car, I agree by opening the door and jumping onto the tarmac.

He whistles for Mouse, and then we're walking into the treeline.

"Carl says it was blue, but the boy's blind," I ramble to Rick as we walk along the train tracks, keeping an eye out for animals.

"Between the pair'a ya," Dad muses from in front of us. "You almost make a full vegetable."

"Shut up, Daddy. You ain't funny."

He snickers a little before facing forward again, crossbow at the ready. "Sure I ain't."

"Anyway." I sigh as he pushes a leafy branch outta the way. Rick ducks under it, and then me. "Like I's sayin'—"

When I look up, the sight that greets me has all words dying on my tongue. I slowly catch up with Dad and Rick, who have also completely forgotten about the story I was telling. It weren't very interesting, anyway. Something about a frog Carl and I found the other day. The sun beats down on us as we look out over the sheer drop just in front of us, and at the rolling, green hills in the distance.

Well, I'll be goddamned.

That right there is a whole ass prison.

End Notes.

Okay that's it. I cannot edit this chapter any longer. What's done is done!!

WE ARE FINALLY IN SEASON 3 !! It only took a year and 28 chapters.

I'm very glad to be back in canon again, but writing Christmas with the group was so fun. Also very glad to be able to write Daryl's accent and slang properly again haha. It just didn't translate into sign language. I know some of you will also be relieved that we're not using it much anymore.

As always, I really hope you enjoyed!

Thanks for reading! Until next time! 💙 :)

[esse-lunam]

an introduction to: my 90s fame dr!

please read this god please there's art in here also ive put 5+ months of work into this dr at this point so i swear that there's interesting shit in here yall I SWEAR I AM NICHE.

reblogs greatly appreciated! this took me forever teehee

ohhh my god this is a long time in the making, ive put this off for so, so long and i really couldn't tell you why. this can act as a script me into ur dr post if you like as well!

for starters, you can find my pinterest board for this dr here :3 just in case u want some cool visuals i guess :3

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so lets get the basics outta the way shall we?

full name: marley jo veitch

nicknames: mar, marley barley, mars bars, tink (reserved for s/o), living poet (public figure nickname type deal? yknow how stevie nicks gets called the white witch? yeah that)

pronouns: they/she

DOB: june 1st, 1970 (which makes me a gemini btw!)

occupation: musician (piano, violin, guitar n bass, some drums, and saxophone), poet, author (fiction and nonfiction), actor on occasion, also a comedian that one time

skills: all things music + writing basically, film analysis, pop culture analysis i guess, home decor, drawing, fashion?, and being the most autistic person in the multiverse

appearance stats: 5'3", 145ish lbs, long brownish-reddish hair with some light brown highlights in there, sorta wavy but barely

body mods: COVERED in tats (theres a tattoo section on the pinterest board but i also drew some so), septum piercing, snake bites, and a fair few ear piercings. and also i have glasses but thats not a body mod thats just a thing on my body.

"workin and workin't? you have a job?" more on that later!

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relationships and such! with photos!

s/o: robert sean leonard

"hey, do i recognise this guy?" you might! he played notable roles such as neil perry in dead poet's society, claudio in much ado about nothing, and james wilson in house md!

best friends: dylan kussman, allelon ruggiero, alexandra powers, and kimya dawson

"do i recognise more of these people?" again, probably! dylan, al, and alex were all in dead poets society, and kimya is a musician best known for her indie songs, some featured in the movie juno!

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my career! (oh good lord)

writing based - undedicated musings

(1986-1993)

alright so this is a bit hard to explain, bear with me. undedicated musings is an anonymous newsletter-based poetry... publication? run by me, under the pen name 'chartreuse', and the whole shtick is that i write poetry, love letters, and whatever else to the person i'll end up spending my life with, but the recipient of said writings is completely unknown, even to me, so im kinda just writing to nobody. until! i actually set my eyes on someone (obviously rsl) and then the writings start to get a bit more specific and yearn-y and personal. since the recipient is anonymous, all the writings are written for a 'vermillion'. both chartreuse and vermillion's identities are revealed when we get married in 1993. and no, rsl doesn't know that i'm chartreuse, nobody does until i reveal myself. i think its kinda cool :3

film based - dead poet's society

(1988-1989)

so for starters, i was part of the crew that worked on the set of dead poets society, now all my friends (except kimya, her and i become friends in the late 90s) make sense! my actual job on set is kind of a vague be-here-and-do-a-bit-of-everything type deal, so there's no set title beyond "assistant to lead" even tho it's essentially government assigned 'friendship' LMAO. but! me and the cast get on like a house on fire, so i kinda just get to tag along on their wacky teenage-ish boy adventures. this totally does not stem from a desire to be part of a teenage boy friend group, and i am, in fact, totally cisgender. i am also lying. anyway, without going into too much detail, me and my s/o-not-yet-s/o (will be referring to him as rsl from this point on) sorta have a painstakingly long will they wont they type deal, because i guess i like torturing myself. we meet a day before all the actual film stuff starts just as a sort of preliminary get to know eachother because you'll be in close proximity VERY often for months. thats some time in march - june-ish? of 1988 (i shift to my dr the day before!) and we don't actually get together until june of 1989. so.

also! some changes to the movie because i can make those: knox overstreet is now played by matthew lillard instead of josh charles, because josh charles is a fucking zionist and i dont want to associate with him in any reality! knox also isnt a b plot to the movie at all, instead focusing on meeks and pitts because i find them much more interesting! and also knox's b plot is creepy as hell! also, the racism against natives (read this!) is completely gone! no thanks!

music based - MAURZI

(1988-2004 technically)

strap in boys because this is the main event of this dr and the lore is VAST. MAURZI (must be spelled in all caps, like MF DOOM) is a sort of musical person/character i've made to tell the story of via a series of albums. i release my first single in october of 1988 titled "lunarian", which is a fun little song about a being from the moon arriving on earth and having some inter-planetary culture shock. and thats the only song i've actually planned! i release 6 total albums that map out the MAURZI storyline kinda

- MAURZI (1989)

- GONE TO SHIT! (1991)

- Charmed (1992)

- I found Him in Santa Barbara (1995)

- Waterworks (1998)

- also bibliography (2004) but those are released as songs By Me and not MAURZI, just released under the same artist. MAURZI storyline ends with Waterworks.

now here's where you get the very extensive MAURZI lore. MAURZI is a sort of alternate-universe representation of me, where in i'm much more famous than i actually am in my dr, and i am absolutely RUINED by my fame in a fuck ton of ways. each album is a different section of her life so i'll explain it album by album. also for reference, in my dr capitalism/ currency isnt a thing, but in the MAURZI... verse? it is. because i like anti capitalist art! same goes for most other media im in/ participate in, actually. MAURZI uses she/her pronouns btw, i dont.

MAURZI - my self-titled album is about as close and personal to my life as i'll get, which an average amount because i still throw in some songs about shit that i have not at all done/ experienced. (ex. songs about cheating, toxic relationships, and things along those lines. thankfully ive had a mostly healthy relationship with relationships! except that one time!) MAURZI is new to the music scene but she's here to make some lovely tunes to help process some stuff! artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): sarah kinsley, dodie, jeff buckley, tv girl, mitski, and peach pit.

GONE TO SHIT! - MAURZI's first album blew the fuck up! now she's thrown into the midst of dealing with an incomprehensible amount of attention on her at all times, which she was absolutely not prepared for. what does she do to cope? sex drugs and rock n roll, baby! she also gets addicted to 2 outta those 3 things! can you guess which ones?? now, obviously, this album is entirely fictional and is only tangentially inspired by some life events, heavy emphasis on the tangentially. artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): the nonstick pans, panic! at the disco, forest, david bowie, chappel roan, and king gizzard & the lizard wizard.

Charmed - the love song album! this is basically comprised of songs i sorta wrote about rsl, but changed up a fuck ton because i wrote them while i was pining and did Not want him to knkw who they were about. in terms of MAURZI stuff, she meets someone just after deciding that she's gotta clean up her act if she wants to exist healthily. recovering alongside a loved one and them being a motivator for recovery! now i should specify here that MAURZI's s/o is not the same as mine, and is entirely gender neutral/ doesn't even have a canon(?) human appearance at all. they're named Vermillion because we love a callback! artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): the smiths, siouxsie and the banshees, james blake, queen, laufey, and her's.

I found Him in Santa Barbara - yknow how when a banana ripens too much and it starts to tuen brown? yeah imagine that logic but applied to recovery, i guess. NOW IS A GOOD TIME TO REITERATE THAT MAURZI AND I ARE TWO DIFFERENT PEOPLE AND MAURZI IS JUST A CHARACTER. essentially MAURZI had a spiritual awakening and "found god." but what that ACTUALLY means is that she started viewing vermillion as a sort of god? but she's keeping it on the down low (making an album about it) because she doesn't want vermillion to thing she's CRINGE. themes of loving a god, being IN love with a god, being in lust with a god, temporarily thinking youre a god? stuff along those lines. its a bit intense, VERY experimental and.. heavy? both in themes and in musical style for some portions. this is my fav album out of all of them if you couldnt tell. artists im taking inspiration from include (but are not limited to): sleep token, WILLOW, type o negative, slipknot, lemon demon (specifically songs off spirit phone), hozier, violent vira, pierce the veil, gorillaz kinda, bjork, kate bush, deftones, destroy boys, and rammstein probably.

Waterworks - so yknow how MAURZI was having a whole trouble with god moment? yeah well thats gone now, no i haven't figured out how that'll work narratively, thats for me to figure out in like 10 years from now (now being 1988, naturally.) we've returned to our self-titled roots in terms of musical style! now we've just got some fun themes of trauma and such! and then that's the and of MAURZI as a character story wise, as i said earlier the album after this one is just a Me album. same artist inspo as self titled!

and guess what! music lore isnt even fuckin done! my music in this dr is a multiverse in itself goddamn. so basically the album covers for each album tell a completely seperate story about a completely seperate alter ego/ character/ whatever named Moonzi. name given by my audience (which is my excuse for coming up with such a shitty name and then keeping it.) the story of moonzi, without going into too much detail because i dont wanna type it all out, is a sci-fi type story about a being from the moon (lunarian callback!) on a quest to bring this space artifact back to its original place, basically. a bit more on it later, emphasis on a bit. also! each album cover is drawn by a different artist, and each album artist animates one official music video off their respective album, just cuz i like art and stuff! those music videos kinda follow the moonzi storyline loosely, but incorporate MAURZI elements. is this confusing? hope not. drawings!

writing based - novels

can you believe im still not done? like not even close? certified yapper. anyway! my 3 fiction novels (Manchester, NH - 1991, Curator Rye, 1997, Sand Dollars + Pearls - 2008) are about my ocs basically! thats it really, i dont feel the need to share the plots of those tbh.

writing based - autobiographies

two? yep! one is a fictional autobiography about MAURZI (MAURZI - 1999) and one is a non fictional autobiography about me (Radio Free Marley - 2012.) take a shot every time i say MAURZI and you will need to get your stomach pumped. she just. she means a lot to me :3

film based - doctor who

(1994-1999)*

*these dates are when im on the show btw, not its total runtime, same applies to other cr existing shows.

big disclaimer: never seen doctor who. dont know the plot, dont know which doctor i'm gonna be, i just wanna be in it.

so! my version of the doctor is kinda weird. its one doctor, but played by two people, but theyre one person. we're both the doctor. and by we i mean both me and rsl, obviously. the viewer sees the doctor as two different people, but NOBODY ELSE IN THE DAMN SHOW besides our little companion buddy guy (played by my cr friend fish!) SEES, ACKNOWLEDGES, OR IS ABLE TO VIEW THE DOCTOR AS TWO PEOPLE. its really complicated and i really did not have to make it that way, but its cool to me so i really dont care. also we're breakjng the doctor who cycle of boring suit and tie (this is NOT about you 15 <3) and going steampunk-esque. again, cuz i wanna.

film based - house md

(2005 - 2010)

marley veitch be in a show without rsl challenge (failed.) i play a character i made up named Nanette Amesbury who is essentially wilson's first ex wife. does he have a canon first ex wife? think so (i actually havent finished house oops.) do i care? you can take a guess. nanette (nicknamed ninny - which im well aware means dumb) is the director of the pediatrics department at princeton plainsboro and she kinda has a fwb type deal with wilson before figuring out shes a lesbian, having a crush on cuddy, being besties with kutner, then leaving the show in season 6. (zeth if ur reading this yes i made her show up for more than 2 seconds she just. means so much to me. also i want cudbury content.) im also a writer for the show so im there for its entire run time :3 i really like this show :3

film based - moonzi

(2016)

YEAHHHHH BABY SHES BACK!!! moonzi's storyline gets adapted into an adult swim animated tv show! i do screenwriting, stiryboarding, and voice acting! style wise, think teen titans mixed with bojack horseman mixed with archer. sick space visuals also!

comedy based - dying art

(2020)

idk i wanted to do a standup special! dunno what it's about. ill leave that up to future me to decide because this isn't happening for 32 damn years and i really just dont wanna come up with a standup special rn.

film based - radio free marley

(whenever)

i wanted a biopic, but i wanted it to be both about me and MAURZI, and how points in my life influenced or inspire songwriting. so the episode structure is like

ep 1: about me, point in my life

ep 2: about MAURZI, point in her life thats sorta related but not entirely to the events in ep 1

ep 3: about me, point in my life

ep 4: about MAURZI, point in her life thats sorta related but not entirely to the events in ep 3

ep 5: you get the idea

and then this goes on for 12 episodes and ends with the MAURZI story wrapping up and with me sorta retiring kinda. dont know when it'll be made, probably at some point in my 60s or whatever. im permashifting if you couldnt tell btw.

and thats it! after all this im just kinda existing and living life and whatever else. so with that outta the way i'll list some fun facts and i'll FINALLY BE DONE JESUS CHRIST IVE BEEN WRITING THIS FOR LIKE 3 HOURS.

- i live in new york city! manhattan to be specific

- i also have a lake house in new hampshire because i Need to be in a rural area at some points

- my house's interior design is very 70s themed and its WHIMSICAL AND FUN! maximalism, whimsigoth, nooks and crannys to be in, fun and varied seating options, conversation pit, loft bedroom, whole 9 yards. ive also got a gazebo on my roof!

- i have 2 siblings in my dr (not here im an only child in my cr womp womp) named lia and monty, theyre my best friends in my cr!

- ive also got a cat! she's a ragdoll kitty named yvonne, shes a sweetheart!

- i scripted out light pollution so the sky is all pretty at night, highly recommend you do the same

- im in STOMP at one point, dont know or care when, i just wanna be in it

- robin williams........... he is a father figure to me................ sniff sob

- yes i scripted out his death i simply cannot deal with that

- PUBLIC TRANSPORT AND WALKABLE SOCIETY!!!!! NO MORE CAR BASED US SOCIEY WOOOO!!!

- i cant fucking believe i havent mentioned this yet but im scottish?? im not scottish in my cr i was just thinking about david tennant when i was forming the dr idea back in january and it stuck. MAURZI is american tho

- hilson is canon in my dr LMAOAOOA

- thats all i got

sweet lord in heaven above if you've read this whole thing im giving u a big kiss. this is so long and i really dont wanna proofread it so im not gonna, excuse any spelling or grammar mistakes.

[farfromstrange]

happy early birthday Lizzi!

Can I get a bouquet of hyacinths? <3

What's your favorite chapter from the show and why?

And could you tell us a little bit more about your writing process? I really love your writing style and the way you portray Matt.

Thank you so much, nonnie!

You ask and you shall receive.

I’m a Season 3 girlie through and through! Matt’s crisis of faith, the grief of getting Elektra back—and he did love her in a way he never loved anyone before—just to lose her again, not to speak of how well Charlie portrayed the depression aspects of it all, it’s just peak cinema for me.

I relate to Matt in so many ways. Being beaten down (metaphorically), feeling detached from myself and just… struggling, if you know what I mean. Matt, too, was broken in S3 and had to claw his way out of that hole just to get his life back. Get his friends back. The friends he thought he’d already lost. Because he pushed them away and continued to push them away until the very end. He had to walk through hell to find back to himself—yes, his own behavior is also a reason for why some of the shit that happened actually happened, but to me, it just shows how human he is. And after the last episode, I like to think he finally reached a stage of acceptance. As much as I love seeing that dark and broody side of him, I also just want this man to be happy.

As for my writing process, I had to really think about that one. I’m not really a planner, to be honest. Or, I like to write things down but most of my stories take a form of their own once I actually start writing, and then I just roll with it.

My thought process with my shorter fics is almost always ‘Oh, I have an idea! Let me write an awful first draft and then edit the shit out of it!’ It’s either that or I end up posting the first draft and let Tumblr decide if they like it or not. I also like to write while watching Daredevil (I pick the season by the version of Matt I’m imagining).

For my longer fics, however, like Do No Harm and Foreigner’s God, I plan. Like, a lot. When I first started writing Foreigner’s God, I didn’t plan a thing (and I personally think that’s noticeable), but now I’m actually putting in the time and work to build a series that makes sense. The same goes for every other ongoing work I have; if it takes a long time, I’m planning, and since I can’t always plan ahead, I sometimes take a break from certain works to get the story straight in my head.

With Do No Harm I had Olivia’s entire backstory planned before I even started writing. That’s the first fic I really planned out from top to bottom. I wrote down even the smallest plot points I could think of and started planning the chapters accordingly. I also take notes on the episodes I’m watching to make sure I stick to my timeline while still defying the canon.

What I also do before writing is create a Pinterest board and a Spotify playlist to listen to while I plan and write. The aesthetic I pick sets the tone. Like angst, fluff, or smut, you name it. The songs I listen to help me get into the heads of my characters. It helps me build their personalities. Using other forms of art like music or looking at photographs is actually a great way to get inspiration.

Names and stuff like that are all the product of hours spent on baby name websites and me trying to get rid of the ads trying to sell me baby stuff because Google’s convinced I’m pregnant, but that again is restricted to my longer fics. One Shots don’t require that much research, just all of my focus to get the point across without getting carried away. Like descriptive writing and dialogue and adding plot without being too overbearing, depending on the word count I have in mind.

And then I just continue to dissociate and live out the scenes I want to write instead of actually writing them until I finally manage to put down a coherent sentence. That’s about it.

Anyway. That was fun. And a lot.

Nonnie, yours is the only hyacinth bouquet I received and I am so happy you chose to request that. Thank you 🤍

[sencubussubs]

Let’s talk VISION BOARDS

hi lovelies <3

I am a little late to the start of the year but let’s talk VISION BOARDS!

oh my gosh i LOVE vision boards. Every. Single. Thing. i put on my vision board last year manifested - and boy i was NOT good at manifesting (i was overthinking, spiralling, constantly dipping out of believing in manifesting and myself.)

Low effort and loads of fun i absolutely recommend vision boards.

I mentioned in a previous post that part of how vision boards work is by familiarising your brain with seeing the people/places/objects etc on your vision board and partly with emotions! feeling like its all yours now.

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So, how can we put an effective vision board together?

Well first, what do you want your year to look like?

your vision board can be for any amount of time, but i think year long ones are most common <3 (it doesn’t mean the manifestations will take a whole year!)

You can start with a pen and paper (or notes app) and write down what you want the next year to look like:

It may help to have some headings to organise sections of life. for example:

Career

Relationships

Travel

Experiences/ events

Material Goods

Then you can find specific people/places/things you want to manifest such as a specific career, car or ipad. A specific type of love language e.t.c.

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Second lets get some useful apps:

- Pinterest (of course!)

- Picsart (or any photo collaging app or website)

(OR ALTERNATIVELY you can print out individual photos, cut, organise and glue down your photos on a piece of cardstock/paper or poster board- the world is your oyster baby!)

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Apps in tow we can move onto the Third step

finding good pictures!

In my vision board from 2023 i didn’t think too hard about pictures - i found pictures that represented what i wanted, i whacked em where i thought they looked good, printed that baby out and slapped it next too my desk where i looked at it all the time. Not purposefully because i took the time to, but rather just because i would automatically be pulled to look at the bright colours whenever i went to sit down at my desk (and when i would die in my games and need to look away from my screen :P ).

While deciding to do a vision board for 2024 -only during this process did i check my 2023 vision board and realise everything manifested- i watched lots of youtube videos from people whose vision boards were successful. it gave me motivation and enthusiasm to make my vision board and i learned a couple handy tricks along the way:

due to my copy and paste not working on tumblr for some reason, i am going to list the youtubers at the end rather than linking them.

- Using pictures from YOUR point of view

select pictures where it looks like you are already in it - e.g. wanting to read loads in 2024? pictures of someone (with your skin tone) reading with the book in their lap (example pics at the end)

You can also take this further and cut out your own face and put it over people in pictures - sounds silly but it worked for Tam Kaur! (check her out)

- Find pictures that truly invoke the emotions you want to feel

want to be given flowers? don’t settle for any picture of someone giving flowers, find the one that makes you feel the way you feel when you imagine it happening. The one that makes it feel real and heartwarming.

- Make sure you enjoy looking at the pictures/ layout you use!

you are gonna look at this and ingest it subconsciously all the time, so make sure it looks nice! Hopefully the emotions you feel from the pictures will already help this - but we wanna make sure the underlying subconscious message is “this is all already mine” not “oh god i hate this thing”

- Putting it somewhere you often look

if you’re like me, you might not have a manifestation routine and don’t want to consciously decide to spend five minutes staring at the vision board. I placed the vision board next to my desk and schedule, i looked at it every time i sat down - especially because i liked the photos so much it always caught my eye - and whenever i looked away from my screen. This allowed me to subconsciously familiarise myself with all the people/places/things on there! I also had a wallpaper on my phone with another small vision board so i looked at it even more often :)

- lastly, your vision board is yours - you don’t have to share

Honestly i truly believe in keeping my manifestations to myself till after they materialise in the 3D, mostly because of the stress of having other people think you’re crazy - i know that this is also my fault due to everyone is you pushed out, but i feel like for a lot of baby manifesters this is a familiar feeling. Manifestation is your own journey - do not let anyone take away your belief or chip at your self concept!

I am going to make a post soon about addressing people asking about manifestations! <3

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Final step: HAVE FUN

Enjoy the process and embody the version of yourself who is receiving all of this, It is done, this IS your 2024!

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the list:

Here are all the youtubers whose videos i watched while creating my vision board for 2024 <3

- Tam Kaur

- Anila Sita 101

- Hailey gamba

- The Gem Goddess

I hope this helped and enjoy making your vision board!

bye lovelies!

Seeing people’s successes really motivates me so i might also make a post on the things i successfully manifested in 2023 with my vision board <3