#oh man theres a few ………. if i ever quit …. and if i have the guts at the time .

[louisarmpits]

I hate managers so much literally the most useless people everyone would be so much happier with no managers

[philtstone]

title: check yes, juliet

Summary:

It doesn't matter that Juliet is a freshly-minted, top-of-her-class field agent (alright, so she hasn't actually been in the field yet) or one of the few women working for the Federal Bureau of Investigation's cutting edge check fraud department (just last week, their 20-year-old coffee maker broke and they ran out of number two pencils to mark up their overhead projector notes with): every time her mother calls, all she does is lament that her beautiful, intelligent daughter isn't meeting any eligible bachelors.

“Maybe that’s for the best,” Maryanne sighs eventually. “All O’Hara women fall for liars, Julie. It’s our curse.”

Juliet has to wonder if she didn't scoff at her mother's claim a little bit too soon.

my brother & i had the earth shattering realization a month ago that the plot of "catch me if you can" (2002) is almost to a tee just a mildly alternate psych timeline and that thought has lived in my head rent free to such an insane degree that eventually 14 thousand words poured out of me in au fic form. im posting it so as many other people as possible can see the vision. and also because im sure theres one person other than me who revels in early seasons shawnjuliet's frankly insane levels of chemistry, lol. enjoy!

READ FULL FIC ON AO3

Excerpt:

“Your average bounced check would be routed to the bank it originates from, so you’d only really have a few days in one place before you were discovered. This guy’s been filing off the routing numbers, changing ‘em somehow – so cleanly and neatly that it’ll take a real sharp eye to notice. It’s all about the branch you’re cashing it in. A check cashed in at Chase Manhattan with the one changed to ten’s gonna bounce halfway around the country before anyone figures out it’s rotten, and by that point this asshole is long gone. The numbers go East, Central, West – you see how they cover 0-60, 70-80, and of course they require a special kind of ink to be recognized as real checks, which you’d all know if you’d read the report I circulated …”

Juliet doesn’t notice the full cup of orange juice in front of her until it’s too late. 

Her head’s still full of Carlton’s two hour long briefing this morning, during which she learned more about check fraud than she’d have ever thought a single person could in one lifespan. Certainly not Juliet, who’d originally studied literature at Florida State. Then again, back then she’d have never expected to end up an FBI agent, either.

Then there’s the wired, tense feeling in her gut that probably won’t go away ‘til this sting is over and they bring in the pathetic local guy Carlton’s been tracking for the last week. His MO is pretty girls in pastel dresses, which made Juliet the right man – woman – for the job. At least maybe doing this’ll help the guys in the office take her seriously as a field agent. And, well … she does love a nice peachy pink cardigan. The color goes well with her complexion.

“This idiot’s no real con man, he’s just a clown who can’t be bothered to work an honest job. Child’s play compared to the real thing. ” Carlton tends to pause here, angry that he’s got to acknowledge it like that – the real thin g. “ You know what they’ve been calling him in the papers these days?”  

Him . Always him. They don’t have a name on the subject yet, despite over a million cashed in fraudulent checks. Juliet hums and nods so her partner feels acknowledged. 

“ The skywayman . Pathetic. Like he’s some magician or something, instead of a two-bit liar who thinks he’s smarter than me. ”

“This isn’t personal, Carlton ,” Juliet says tiredly. “ It’s not like he knows who you are to be deliberately toying with you.”  

“Oh yes he is. I know he is. I know him .”

Her hands aren’t quite shaking, because that would be stupid; this guy, their local guy, shouldn’t have a gun on him, and if he does he’s not the type to shoot a woman. Juliet focuses on the paper in front of her and tucks a lock of her hair behind one ear. A window of ten minutes – that’s what Carlton said. Unlike Carlton’s unsub nemesis, they know plenty about this one. He’ll come in, dressed like the middle-aged schlub he is, loose tie probably, gray slacks, thinning hair. He’ll notice her, buy her a soda she’ll accept with a faulty check and then pick her pocket for the cash. The string of pearls at her neck makes her a sweet college girl whose parents have money. She mentally forces herself to stop chewing her lip and instead moves her right hand down to her lap, where she can pick at her nail polish without anyone seeing. 

“Well, obviously we wanna catch him,” Agent Dobson says, when they’re a third of the way through the morning briefing and half the room is asleep or dreaming of lunch. Juliet, of course, has been furiously taking notes. He means the Skywayman; he means the real thing. “But you gotta admit, Lassiter, there is a bit of a magic show to a good con, isn’t there? The press has that one thing right.”

“It’s not magic. It’s lies and deceit and a healthy helping of audacity, and a damn good typewriter. O’Hara, write that down. We’re gonna go through that list of makes and models again, see what we can come up with.”

Deep breath. Her purse, orange to match the cardigan, is in her lap. The gun’s in the purse. She’ll draw it, but not to shoot. This is the kind of work she’s begged the Chief for, and she’ll be just fine.

Maybe Juliet would feel less desperate to prove herself if this diner wasn’t in Miami, and her father didn’t gift her the only string of pearls she owns.

A voice clears itself quietly above her.

“Uh, excuse me? Hi, yeah, hi. That’s my seat.”

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[aggressiveguitarnoises]

i have media studies exam (although mock so its fine) that i didnt study for so im gonna force myself to practice by applying barthes narrative theory to season 1 hannibal (vaguely tbh cuz its the whole seasom but ok)

hermeneutic codes(how do u even pronounce this omfg) :

enigma codes, they are def crucial to this show as each episode raises more and more unanswered questions as the audience continues watching the show, questions like who is commiting the crimes, is will ok, does he know how fucked up his clocks are, is crawford fucking stupid, is abigail ok, what the hell is hannibal doing, why are they using cat guts for strings, are the dogs gonna live oh my god please can the dogs be okay for once

usually done by leaving cliffhangers for each episode

it drives the audience forward and interests them so they continue watching the show to find out the answers to their questions

its also a convention to use hermeneutic codes for horror crime shows like hannibal

Proairetic codes:

action codes, the actions done to drive the narrative forward, previous events drive other events into action. ngl this one is fucking stupid to apply i dont get if i ever apply it correctly

in hannibal, proairetic codes tie a lot with hermeneutic codes as the actions of the characters raise questions for the audience questioning their choices and makes the audience wonder what will happen next. the action creates tension and makes the audience wonder how the created problem(if there is one) will be resolved. for example when hannibal lecter called abigails father to inform him that "they know" and that fbi is on the way. this drives the narrative forward as then the audience wonders how the characters will react and wonder how the actions will affect the story. this action ended up with abigail becoming an orphan and their suspect dead, creating a few side plots and introducing new characters. this constant tension created by each action drives the narrative forward and engages the audience to continue watching the show

semantic codes:

connotations, things associated with something, the deeper level meaning of a symbol. this one is hard yet so easy cuz theres literally SO many of them

they basically give insight into the plot and characters, building personalities and maybe even starting the deep questions the audience will have

for example, for hannibal, hes quite sophisticated, the semantic codes for that would be how he wears suits all the time, his overall style and his acquired taste. those things connote sophistication, wealth and even control and power (especially the suit and his high respected position as a psychiatrist)

but another thing that can be derived from things like how hes always careful, always has a cloth that doesn't leave any fabric fibres, how he doesn't use anything digital, only physical things like journals to leave no traces, the fact that hes literally eating his evidence lmao, his knowledge and experience of human anatomy and mind connote that hes a careful, experienced, ambitious man and prob(definitely) is a serial killer

symbolic codes:

it has such an easy concept that its literally confusing to understand. its basically symbols, binaries, a thematic/structural device, but it's basically about themes and contrary signs specifically, which is ig why its kind of difficult to understand since its specifically binary symbols

some symbolic codes in hannibal would be life vs death, clearly a reoccurring theme with all of the crimes happening, good vs bad, murderers and their victims, health? both physical and mental? stability? work vs personal life? idk its so hard to pin point it even tho its so easy and common idk

a better example woukd be the bad vs good binary used in star wars with ghe colours of light sabers

Cultural codes:

literally cultural and social conventions, knowledge that comes from the outside world of the text, specific connotations used

example, FBI for crimes and america, religion and faith, the whole fbi units especially medical, even Christmas is a cultural code as its a celebrated event of certain social and cultural and religious conventions

bruv i cant think of any more examples even tho i know theres so many

hope yall enjoyed my silly analysis of hannibal as my media studies application practice if u read it all xx

[squishneedsahero]

Unexpected

Word Count: 1639

Sam Wilson x Reader

Takes place before Civil War

You and Sam have always argued. Will that change after a drunken hookup?

You roll over and slowly sit up, rubbing at your eyes feeling hungover. You place your face in your palms for a moment before looking around for long enough to notice you weren't the only one in your bed. Next to you, lying in your bed was none other than Sam Wilson.

Your mind instantly begins wanting to worry about how you'd explain this one, you, the younger sister of Tony Stark, and the sarcastic man lying next to you had never seemed to get along. At this point it was kind of your thing the both of you would make sarcastic comments at one another and were always being borderline rude with each other. But apparently the night before after a few drinks, the sarcasm had given way to the unspoken attraction the both of you had held for one another.

To be honest you'd fallen for Sam the moment you saw him but then he'd said something dumb and you'd replied with your usual snark and neither one of you had ever let it go. It had been years of this back and forth which had frequently lead to long stares and more than once to almost kissing only to be interrupted by someone walking in on the two of you. But last night the two of you had finally broken and now the two of you were in bed together, less than fully dressed.

"M'orning," says a voice beside you which pulls you out of your thoughts.

You turn your head to look at him, "uh, morning," and with that you flop back onto your bed next to him. "So, that happened..."

Sam lets out a laugh and wraps his arms back around your waist, only for you to elbow him in the stomach, "ugh- hey, I thought that we were on better terms now."

You roll over and put your arms around his shoulders, "maybe," you reply, "but considering I haven't kicked you out that still applies but that doesn't mean I'm going to let you make fun of me."

"Wow, thank you for being so courteous to only elbow me in the gut rather than kick me out of your room," Sam says as you roll your eyes, only for him to bring one of his hands up to rest on your cheek. Sam pauses for a moment before pulling you into a gentle kiss.

Your eyes flutter closed when your lips touch his, and you begin to kiss back, enjoying the moment. You didn't remember the night before well but this kiss was everything you had ever imagined and more. Things quickly grow more heated between the two of you and soon you're straddling his lap as the both of you continue to kiss.

Later that day, once the two of you finally decided to get out of bed the both of you are sitting in the kitchen, lazily eating some breakfast across the table from each other when in walks Steve and your brother. You glance up at Sam, then Tony and Steve, and can tell by the fact that Tony hasn't said anything as he stands at the fridge tells you that he doesn't know you and Sam had hooked up the night previous, and if Tony doesn't know then no body did.

You and Sam don't talk about things for about a week, just going back to your constant teasing of each other and ignoring the things that had happened that night. This was most likely due to you, pulling a classic Stark move in ignoring feelings and going on with your life. But, about a week later in the afternoon Sam catches you alone.

"So, we're just going to ignore that night and everything that happened between us?" He asks, sounding peeved.

You remain quiet for a moment, and study his face, "well, you never brought it up after I elbowed you and normally I just move on and ignore things that happen so I don't get hurt when nothing comes of it-"

"Get hurt?" he sounds surprised, "you really think I'd be like that? Like one of the hundreds-"

"Uht-" you cut him off and pull him after you into a storage closet. You switch on the lights and look at him, his face just a few inches from your own. "So, first things first, I am not the slut that my brother is so don't go saying I've been with hundreds of guys. Second," you pause and take a breath, getting distracted for a moment in those dark brown eyes of his, "secondly I never know how things will turn out. I don't ask and simply move on unless someone else brings it up. It is easier than being hurt, because I've been hurt a few times and that's more than enough for me. No, I'm not saying you're like other guys, because in case you haven't noticed I've been doing quite well at ignoring you since then and I only do that because-"

Your speech that was quickly growing heated is cut off by a hand on your cheek and a thumb running over your lips. "Hey, y/n, you don't have to explain all that to me. I just-" he pauses for a moment, thinking how to tell you what was going through his mind before he shrugs and just goes for it. "Look y/n I like you. I have since a few weeks after we first met and the thought of us being only a one night stand- hey why are you laughing?"

Sam was right in asking that since as he had been talking a smile slowly broke across your face, "oh, no reason. Keep going, tell me how much you love me," you bite your lip and continue to stare cheekily at the man in front of you.

You only smile more as his lips purse in a pout, refusing to smile due to your teasing. Once it's obvious he isn't going to say anything more until you stop you wipe a hand over your face, "okay, sorry continue. It's just cute when you talk about your feelings."

The smile threatens to come back to your face but before it has the chance Sam pulls you against his chest and into a heated kiss. Your heart is in your throat as you kiss back, pulling on him so soon enough you're backed against one of the walls of the closet the two of you were in.

The moment doesn't last long as an announcement over the loudspeaker pulls the both of you back to reality. You quickly straighten your shirt, and hair before looking at Sam who had done the same, "we can talk about it later, but right now it sounds like. the both of us are needed somewhere at the moment," you look him in the eye and pause just a moment before giving him a kiss on the cheek before slipping out of the closet.

Later doesn't come as soon as the both of you had hoped. The both of you have to go on a mission to Lagos and... stuff happened, meaning it as nearly another week before you find yourself outside of Sam's room, quietly knocking on the door now that everyone had gone to bed.

The door swings open, starting you a bit, but you quickly gain your composure once again and smile at the man in front of you that you'd clearly just woken from a deep sleep. "Hey," you say quietly as he moves aside to let you into his room, "I couldn't sleep... I needed to talk to you."

"About what?" Sam asks through a yawn, clearly exhausted.

"About us," you respond quietly. He nods, clearly waking more at the mention of 'us' and he takes your hand, taking you over to his bed and inviting you to sit down.

"So what about us?" he asks, looking at you.

You shrug a little, for once in your life feeling shy, it takes a moment before you answer, "well, I can't stop thinking about the both of us, and that night... and I figured since you brought it up the other day that you can't either?" The last part comes out as a question and you look at him out of the corner of your eye.

He yawns before nodding, "you figure correctly..." he pauses and looks at you, "I'm tired of beating around the bush with this so I'm just going to say it. I like us, I like you, and I want us to be a thing, it's up to you if that actually happens though."

Yet again as he speaks a smile breaks out across your face, "I'd like that..."

"You would?" he clarifies as he looks to you while you nod. "Good," he says gently, before hooking an arm around your waist and pulling you to lay with him in the bed. "I know it's a bit soon, but I love you y/n, I have for a while... I'm glad you feel the same."

You twist around to lay your cheek against his chest, the smile staying on your face, "I think I do too," you say gently. Theres a comfortable pause between the two of you before you shake your head and hide your face in his chest, "they're all never going to let this go once they find out."

You hear the laugh come from deep in his chest, "let them. We don't have to worry about that right now, we can just sleep."

The smile comes back to your face and you nod gently, "sounds good to me." With that your eyes fall closed and you sleep the best you have in years, possibly your entire life, right there in the arms of your now boyfriend, Sam Wilson.

[kpoptart216]

You’re my Utopia (pt 7)

A/n: Back to writing, hope you enjoy it!

As the day progressed, it will finally sinking in that you had a date. And not just any date, it was a date with Hoseok. Till that night at the studio, you had no inkling that maybe he returned your feelings, but your gut told you otherwise that night. 

That same night, you remember thinking about him before falling asleep, and you had vivid dreams about being in a relationship with him. Though you were scared about dating again, your dreams were only pleasant, almost as much as the boy you were crushing on. It was like a sign to just trust in him, your feelings, and what the universe had to offer. Maybe a relationship with him wouldn’t be doomed like you thought. 

The next day, you left work and rushed to your apartment. The previous night, you were too excited to pick out what to wear and now you panicked that you didn’t have enough time. He simply texted you earlier that he was going to pick you up at six which gave you exactly two hours. You quickly showered, made sure you were well groomed, and did your hair. You opted for simple makeup, and you just stood in your towel facing all your options for outfits for tonight. You opted for a simple black dress that you bought and never had the chance to wear. Nothing like a new outfit to give you a confidence boost.

You were just putting on the final touch of makeup when you heard a knock on the door. You almost ran to the door and you opened the door with a shy smile. Hoseok was looking down when the door opened and as he looked up, a big smile formed on his beautiful face. He was holding a small bouquet of colorful flowers, but you honestly couldn’t help but stare at him. You rarely saw him as dressed up as he was now, other than we had schedules. He was dressed in black pants and black dress shirt that hugged is figure, and if you didn’t know better you’d probably drool. 

“You look beautiful” he said, handing you the flowers. 

“come in?” you asked, as you took the flowers and made way for him to come in. He nodded, and you closed the door behind him, gulping as the nerves kicked in more. 

“Let me just get my purse and we can leave? where are we going by the way?” you asked, trying to ease your nerves. 

“Oh that’s a surprise, but I think you’ll like it!” he calls out to you from the living room as you entered your closet to grab a purse to match your outfit. 

“Fine, I guess i’ll trust you. You look handsome too, by the way” you say, wanting to return the compliment. And you truly meant it, he was gorgeous. 

Hoseok simply blushed at the compliment. “ready?” he asked. You nodded, and the both of you made your way out. 

The surprise was that he had reserved a private room and table at one of the restaurants you had once told him about. It was a famous italian restaurant, but it was pretty fancy and always needed reservations weeks or months in advance. You never thought you’d have the chance to eat here, let alone in a private room, or with such a handsome man. 

“The food is so good, wow” you say, taking a bite of the food. Hoseok had ordered for the both of you, and he took pride in knowing your taste in food. he was glad he made the right choice. 

“Wait till you try dessert then!” he said, smiling. 

You both conversed over food, and though you were still slightly nervous, you both fell into a comfortable rhythm, talking and bantering as usual. Though, you didn’t miss the ways he flirted with you and perhaps it was the food, but you think you actually flirted back too. 

After the both of you finished, he reached for your hand. “Ready for part two of the date?” he asked. 

“Theres more?” you asked, surprised. This was already so nice, you couldn’t imagine what else he had planned. 

“You didn’t think I’d just take you to dinner did you? what kind of a date is that?” he had asked. Honestly, it was pretty much the only kind of ‘fancy’ date you knew of. That was all you ever had. It was either eating out or staying inside and hanging out. 

“I didn’t know what to expect from tonight” you said honestly. “But I’m enjoying every second of it”

He smiled, pulling you up and back out to the car. He drove the both of you to a seemingly remote road and if you were with anyone else, you might have been concerned about your safety. Soon, he pulled into a small patch of grass and urged you to step out. Once you got out of the car, you had a clear view of the city, the bridge, and the river that flowed beneath it. 

From where you were, the city seemed rather quiet but still very much alive and you had never seen anything quite like it. 

“we live there?” you ask, marveling at the beauty. 

“we sure do” he says, though the whole time he’s only been focused on your face and how your eyes glistened along with the lights from the city. 

“Such an amazing view” you said mostly to yourself. 

“sure is” he says, still looking at you and smiling. 

The view almost put you in a trance, but the only thing that broke it was Hoseok interlacing his fingers with your own as he held your hand. You loved how warm they were. You squeezed his hand a little, smiling at the view in front of you still. 

“How did you find this place?” you asked, after a few minutes of comfortable silence. 

“I’m not really sure. I was just driving one night and stumbled upon this place. I come here when I need to clear my head, and hardly anyone ever comes down these roads, let alone stops. It’s just peaceful” he says. 

“Thank you for sharing this with me” you turn to face him finally, smiling. “It’s stunning” you say. 

“Does this mean you’ll want to come back with me?” he asks. 

You were kind of confused by the question. “what do you mean?” you ask. 

“I don’t show this place to just anyone you know. Come to think of it, you’re the first. I never felt the need to share this place with anyone, but you” he says turning to face the city for the first time, hoping the night sky masked the way he was furiously blushing. 

“That means a lot” you say. “And yes, I’ll come back whenever you want me to” you say, however you weren’t really sure what that implied. But if it meant you got to be there for him, then you’d do it in a heartbeat. 

“I really like you” he says suddenly, causing you to gasp a little. He chuckled at your reaction. “I have for a while, if it wasn’t obvious” he adds. 

“define ‘a while’“ you say. 

“I don’t know honestly. You were just special, since we met. I didn’t understand how I felt, especially since back then you were dating Jungkook. But then you guys broke up, and we became good friends and my feelings just grew since then. But I couldn’t wait much longer, I had to let you know” he says, honestly. He didn’t want to bring up Jungkook tonight, but he didn’t want to lie to you. 

“Hey, look at me” you say softly, urging him to turn your way. He looked a little nervous, that to which you smiled at him. You weren’t sure where you got the courage, but you simply say “You have to know that I feel the same right?” 

Hoseok’s eyes widened, and felt joy engulf his entire being. “I have for a while too. Maybe not as long as you, but definitely just as strong” You say, not wanting to lie either. You felt a breeze blow by and since you were near the water, it felt especially cold. Hoseok let go of your hand and quickly ran back to the car to grab a jacket and he ran back and placed it around your shoulders. 

“that better?” he asked, still smiling like a goof. 

“yes thank you so much, oppa. For everything, really” you say, reaching for his hands again, missing the warmth they provided. 

“Can I kiss you?” he asked, suddenly. He had been wanting to kiss you since the moment he laid eyes on you tonight but he felt the need to ask for permission first. You just smiled and nodded, and soon enough your lips met his own. 

It was a sweet kiss, and you felt your heart race. Likewise, Hoseok smiled into the kiss. It was just as great as he imagined it would be. He would be lying if he said he hadn’t thought about this a million times and yet none of those imaginations could surpass this feeling. 

Another breeze blew by, forcing Hoseok to break away from the kiss he so desperately wanted to keep going. “I should get you home before you get a cold” he says, resting his forehead against your own. He chuckles when he notices your frown, but he grabs your hand and leads you back to his car. 

You both talk on the way back to your car, still slightly nervous from the kiss, but having fun nonetheless. You feel as if you arrive back to your place too soon, though you’ve basically spent the entire evening with him. 

“Thank you for tonight, oppa” you say, unbuckling your seatbelt. 

“No, thank you. We can do this again soon, right?” he asked. 

“I’d like that” you say smiling. You weren’t really sure what to say beyond this point, and you figured you should probably get home and take your dog out for a walk before he pees in your apartment again. 

You quickly lean over, and kiss Hoseok on his cheek. “good night!” you say, reaching for the door. However, before you get the chance to open it, he pulls you back and kisses you. 

“good night, my favorite girl” he says, chuckling at the way you gasp again slightly. “go walk the dog, I know you’re concerned about him peeing inside again” he says, as if reading your thoughts. You giggle. “See you tomorrow” you say, finally stepping out the car. You walk back inside your building and turn to watch as he waves from inside the car and drives away. 

You practically squealed the second he was out of sight. That was perhaps one of the best dates you have been on period. He treated you so well throughout the night, and the kiss oh my god. 

Maybe it was because you hadn’t been kissed in years, but you swear this was different than any kiss you’d ever received before. To put it simply, it was nothing short of amazing. 

By the time you got in bed that night, your mind was flooded with thoughts of your date. You dozed off with a big smile on your face.

You woke up to one of your favorite texts the following morning. 

Hobi Oppa: Good Morning Beautiful. I can’t wait to see you at work. Hurry over. 

You smiled fondly at the text and quickly jumped out of bed to get ready. You were pretty sure he was already at work considering he had practice for upcoming award shows, so you didn’t waste any time getting ready. 

Would it be too obvious if you stopped by the practice room before heading to the studio? You still never talked to Jungkook about his request and you rather not have that conversation now... or anytime soon. You decided against it and quickly sent a message to Hoseok saying you were in the studio. 

Within a few minutes, he knocked at your studio door but unfortunately you had headphones in as you were editing something. You were bouncing your head to the beat, completely oblivious to him standing behind you and admiring you as he leaned against the door. 

After a minute or so, Hoseok simply walked to you and bent over to place a kiss on your cheek, scaring you. You jumped in your seat, and took the headphones off immediately. 

“Oppa! What if someone saw!!” you said, giggling, standing up to shut the door behind him. 

“I don’t care. I just wanted to come see you on break” he said, now leaning against your work table as you sat back down in your chair. “already working I see” he says, looking over to see what you were working on. “can I hear soon?” he asks. 

“When it’s done, as usual!” You say. It was a habit of yours to only let him listen to your finished product. You always wanted him to be proud of the work you had done. 

“Did you sleep well?” he asked, changing the subject. 

“I did actually”

“Darn, I was hoping to hear that you were too excited to fall asleep” he teased. 

“Why? Is that what happened with you?” you shot back. 

“You caught me there” he said, laughing. 

“I had a really great time last night, oppa” you say giggling. It just suddenly registered that he had kissed you a minute ago. And you didn’t even realize because it felt so natural. 

“You just realized I kissed you just now, didn’t you?” he asked, noting the expression on your face. 

“You know me so well” you say, giggling. 

“Was that out of line..? I wasn’t really thinking and I gue-” he began to ramble but you cut him off by quickly standing up and giving him a peck on the cheek as well. 

“It wasn’t out of line. I was just thinking how natural it felt” you say, blushing. 

“Good, because you can expect more of that from now on” he says confidently. “Anyways, before I head back to practice, I wanted to ask if you wanted to come to the award show at the end of the week!” he asks excitedly. 

You had been to a bunch of award shows in the past, watching the boys from backstage. It was always such a fun experience! 

“You don’t have to if you’re busy, but it would mean a lot if you’re there” he said, hopefully. 

“Of course, I’d love to” you say happily. Jungkook briefly crossed your mind, but you didn’t really care right now. Previously, Jungkook had asked you to come out to support him and his members, and you’d always wait backstage with your arms open to give him a big hug when it was done. It was one of your favorite memories from back then, but you found that you honestly hadn’t thought of that in years. 

Your mind now wandered to why Hoseok had asked you. As a friend? As a... girlfriend? You weren’t sure and you didn’t want to dwell on that either. You were going to go to show your support. 

Jungkook had a hard time that week. He constantly started thinking about you. Or rather, your relationship with his hyung. Wasn’t it an unsaid rule not to go after your friend’s ex? Would you even accept if Hoseok had asked you out? It was unfair of him to hope not, but he couldn’t help himself. It only made him wonder why he felt that way. 

He laid in bed, trying to work out why he was feeling the way he was when his door suddenly opened. In came Sooyoung, he hadn’t been expecting her. “Hey babe, I didn’t know you were coming today” Jungkook said, making room for her to sit. 

She stilled for a second and looked over to her boyfriend. “Do I need an invitation?” she asked before kicking off her shoes in a random direction. “I actually wanted to get your opinion on something for the award show”. It irked Jungkook slightly that she came over without any notice. You had never done that in the past, you were always respectful of his time and space. 

“What do you need?” Jungkook asks, laying back down. Sooyoung also laid down, right on Jungkook’s arms. Her strong scent invaded his nose. He always hated that perfume. It was so unnecessarily strong.

“We should color coordinate our outfits! I’m thinking of these two dresses” she said as she pointed to two different dresses on her phone screen. “they really complement my skin tone, don’t you think?” 

“Sooyoung, I don’t really determine my outfit, that’s what the stylist noona’s are for. I’m sure they already picked out my clothes to match the rest of the group” Jungkook sighed, not giving a damn about her dresses. 

“Oh come on, you’re the artist. Act like it. If you want to wear something specific, you get to wear it. I think I’m going to go with the teal dress. Find a shirt to match please!” she says, effectively ending that conversation. She really didn’t take no as an answer from anyone, even Jungkook. He sighs, as he listens to her complain about her team members. 

Jungkook thinks back to previous award shows, when he didn’t have a girlfriend in tow. At least, ones where she didn’t also walk the red carpet. He remembered bringing you to numerous award shows, but you were always behind stage with the rest of the staff. He always claimed he needed to feel your support, even if he couldn’t see you from the stage. And because of that need, you were there- for every award show and every concert alike. Only now was he starting to think how much time that would take out of your own schedule. 

Perhaps the best thing about bringing you to shows was probably when he was done though. You always waited backstage with arms open to give him a big hug, ready to tell him how proud of him you were. He remembered inhaling your scent some nights, or almost toppling the both of you down from exhaustion. But nonetheless, those hugs were the only way he ended those nights. The members used to joke that they felt left out, but he remembers one night where you swore those hugs were meant for Jungkook and Jungkook only. 

He smiled fondly at the memory while Sooyoung now talked about the latest diet she was on. 

The night of the award show came quicker than Jungkook had thought. The previous day, he had nicely asked the stylist noona if she could find a shirt in teal instead of the grey she had initially picked out. “It’s going to clash with everyone else though” she argued but he had pleaded with her, and ultimately they found middle ground in a shirt that had hints of teal. 

When Sooyoung and him met up before the red carpet, the boys were wary of her presence the second she knocked on their door. She walked in with the same teal dress she showed Jungkook earlier and it was clear from her facial expression she wasn’t pleased with his outfit at all. 

“What happened to the teal?” she asked quite angrily. “This is not what I meant, Jungkook!” she said, assessing his shirt. 

“This is all we could do in short notice” Jungkook grumbled. He could see Sooyoung glare at the stylist noona who was still touching up his outfit. 

Just then, another there was another knock on the door. Jungkook turned to see who it was, and he saw Hoseok rushing to the door. Whoever it was, was pretty much blocked from his view by Hoseok. 

Only when Hoseok moved to let the visitor in did he see who it was. There you stood, looking more gorgeous than ever. You wore an amazing black gown which really showed off your figure, but it was simple and not over the top. In fact, it really highlighted your natural beauty and Jungkook couldn’t help but stare. 

“You’re here!” Hoseok said, leading you to the couch. You hadn’t noticed Jungkook and Sooyoung yet, and the other members quickly came to greet you. 

“Why the fuck is she here” Sooyoung muttered under her breath, causing Jungkook to glare at her. 

“Y/n, pleasure as always!” Jin says, sitting across from her. “Hoseok told us you’d be joining us today!” 

What? Why didn’t Jungkook hear of this before?

Sooyoung scoffed, finally grabbing onto Jungkook and walking over to where you and the members sat. 

“It’s nice seeing you again” Sooyoung said in a sickeningly sweet voice. “I didn’t know you’d be joining us. Though I don’t think you’re allowed to walk the carpet...” Sooyoung mused. 

“Oh, I wasn’t planning on it” you chirped. No way were you going to walk down a carpet full of flashing cameras. You wished to keep your identity anonymous for as long as possible. 

You had only dressed up because Hoseok had asked, he wanted to whisk you off on another date after things were done. Plus, it gave you reason to wear that gown that’s been sitting in the back of your closet for so long. Your previous boss had given it you as a gift, saying you were bound to grace many award shows in the future. Little did he know that you were too shy for any of that and you enjoyed remaining...mysterious. Plus, it’s not like you stood out backstage. Plenty of the staff also dress up for these events even if they’re not in the public eye a majority of the night. 

“Wah, so pretty” Taehyung amused aloud. “I’d ruffle your hair like old times but I don’t want to mess it up!” 

“Thank you Tae” you giggle. You turn to smile warmly at Hoseok, who’s eyes haven’t left you for even a second since you walked in. Jungkook didn’t miss this fact. 

“Are you excited to see everyone perform?” Namjoon asked while fixing his sleeve. 

“I am! I haven’t seen a BTS live stage in so long. Not to mention some of the other groups I worked with are also here” You say excitedly. 

“Ok guys, it’s time” announces the manager. He quickly says hi to you, and lets you know that. He leads you to the other staff, who were taking another car to the venue. 

“I wish you could ride with us. Or better yet walk the stage with me. It’s not fair that Jungkook gets to walk his date down the red carpet” Hoseok whines, trying to soak in as much time as he can with you. 

You blush at the comment. “I’ll see you after, silly. I promise”

“I hope you’re the first thing I see. You better be cheering louder than anyone else!” he says, starting to leave for the rest of the boys. Jungkook watches on as you and Hoseok converse, and he hates the jealousy that boils inside him. 

“Of course. Now go!” you say, slightly pushing Hoseok forward. “Bye, Handsome” you say quietly. You smile as you hear “Bye, Beautiful”

The red carpet seemed to go on forever. Jungkook just wanted to walk into the venue and settle down for the rest of the night. Reporters kept asking him and Sooyoung about their relationship. He wished he could just walk with the rest of his members like normal. They were already in the venue and he only made it about half way!

Luckily, Sooyoung was required to sit with the rest of her group, much to her chagrin. The award show as a whole was pretty great, and the boys loved hearing all their fans cheer for them. They won numerous awards, including a few daesangs, and their stage went incredibly well. 

The end of the award show was finally here and as soon as all the idols walked off the stage, Sooyoung immediately walked back to Jungkook and the rest of the boys. 

The boys and Sooyoung were led towards their own dressing room so that they could get changed and get ready to head out. As the boys walked farther down the venue, they approached their room. It was only when they got closer did both Jungkook and Hoseok (as well as the rest of the boys) see you waiting by the door. 

For a second, it was if Jungkook had forgot the past- the breakup, the years since then, and the fact that he was dating someone else. When his eyes landed on you, he felt the same urge he felt years ago- to run to you and give you the biggest hug he could muster at the moment. He so desperately wanted to hear how proud of him you were again and how much you loved him. And for a second, he swore you felt the same because you looked so proud, so happy. You had a big smile on your face and it looked like you were eagerly waiting for him to approach. 

Except it wasn’t him you were waiting for. 

He saw Hoseok practically run to you, engulfing you in a big hug. It was like something out of a movie- he practically lifted you up and spun you around. Your giggles could be heard by everyone around and if the sight in front of him didn’t hurt so much, the sound would have been absolutely delightful. 

The boys were all on a high right now- they had a great night with the award shows. It was definitely a night to celebrate all of their hard work. Hoseok especially felt incredibly happy tonight. Not only did his band do incredibly well tonight, but he also got to celebrate with his special girl. The joy was he felt was almost overwhelming. 

So no, he couldn’t help himself when he ran up to you and hugged you. He didn’t care who saw, even Jungkook. Any consequences would be worth it because he swore the way you laughed with him was the most amazing sound in the world. 

He set you down a moment later and you wrapped your hands around his neck and closed your eyes. At this point, the rest of the members were approaching you both. “I’m so freaking proud of you” you say, just so he can hear. 

But Jungkook heard it. 

And the words he wished so desperately hear would now haunt him because it was clear as day that yes, you moved on. Yes, you liked Hoseok. Yes, there was something going on between the two of you. And yes, you seemed incredibly happy. 

To Jungkook it felt like he lost. Not like losing a game, but he lost out on something incredible. Something real. And he didn’t know if he could rectify that loss. 

So while tonight was a night for celebration and fun, he watched on at your happiness along with that of the rest of the boys. He watched and he felt unhappier each second, despite all he had to be thankful for. 

For everything just didn’t seem worth it without you. 

[hampterguts]

Wait crybaby got everything wrong? It's the only devilman media I've interacted with, and I only watched it bc an animator I like worked on it. And even now I feel like vomiting when I think about it bc it just fucked me up dude. The whole thing felt like the sole purpose was to shock the audience with emotional, psychological, physical, and sexual violence D:

👉👈🥺 what is...the good devilman media?

wwjhd aaaaa oh man im so sorry you had to experience all that!! i know how you feel!! it was so awful and gut wrenching i had to stop watching 😖

im really particular abt what the best version of devilman is, there's quite a lot of iterations out there with varying amounts of gore and genuine awfulness

imo The Best form to consume devilman is the original manga(from the 70s),

im not even completely sure what to say, its basically one of the best horror mangas ive ever read, features two girlbosses, its got a few accidentally really funny scenes, honestly it plays with emotions really well, there are scenes that are intended to shock you but i feel like theyre handled really well as dramatic plot points, like i think reading this was the first time i felt so much connection and dread thru any media that i could feel my entire heart drop in reaction to only a single panel. the gore isn't intensely graphic overall, there are a few scenes I'd consider fairly grotesque, but this is from memory so im not sure how accurate i am abt that..... tw for child death, body horror, im not sure if they did this in crybaby too but there's mild transphobia due to assigning certain genitalia to sexual orientation(tho i recently found out that was go nagai's only choice in order to get past censorship and include a gay character,,, so 🙄 idk. i think he did what he had to and what he had to do wasnt alright), tw for animal death, like brutal depiction of dead animals near the beginning, there's lots of nudity, lots of boobs... sorry its been a while, my tw list probably isnt as precise as I'd like it to be, but from my memory there's no sexual assault whatsoever, barely any direct references to having sex either(unlike crybaby)

and i gotta warn you about a version called "the classic collection" for the manga. its supposed to be 2 large books that feature the compiled full story, but wow i regret having purchased these at all go nagai added some really disgusting things(sexual assault, short comic literally depicting sympathy towards hitler[specifically a guy gets abused by a demon and a woman he loves is killed and the comic does a whole "and that man that u just sympathized with... that was hitler" like.... okay actually i am going to attack go nagai to death] like he did this short series abt real terrible people in history where the "reason" they were so villainous was "actually bc of demons uwu". AWFULLL.) like! be careful not to purchase these and then take too long to read them to get to these weird hyper fucked up additions placed randomly within the books and become unable to return them ;_;

and then there's the 2 ova's from 1987-1990, called Devilman: The Birth, and Devilman: The Demon Bird

these two are usually paired together, you can find them uploaded on youtube every once in a while, the dub is. well in a technical sense it should be considered awful but i personally think the ridiculousness and constant unnecessary swearing really fits. its considered the best anime adaptation but there's only 2 episodes, theyre long enough to cover a chapter each but.... man if only they finished. i should also warn there's some heavy violence in these. like its not *as* bad as other iterations of devilman but like.... its worse than the manga by far, and there's one second of violence that always makes me flinch in the first ova. (theres quite a bit of guts in these i think... but the 2nd ova is much worse on the gore in one rlly long scene)

i dont rlly like the second movie as much... its just kinda meh for me.. except to see and hear sirene... literally her voice actor did such a good job im so gay (dont worry abt sexual assault in the ova's either, sirene is safe from that kind of depiction)

but basically! i say read the original manga, and if u want more(and rlly want to laugh) watch at least the first ova, then the 2nd if u want. but i beg you not to purchase anything new literally please dont support this disgusting author in any way

[pansunset]

okay time for a theatre hot take about historical musicals. im gonna split this into two posts, one about hamilton and one about six. because while the easiest way to put it is “hamilton bad six good”, there’s a bit more nuance to my opinion on them both than that.

First off, all the cast members are insanely talented, especially Leslie Odom Jr, Daveed Diggs, Christopher Jackson, Phillipa Soo, and Reneé Elise Goldberry. Even though the people they played were varying degrees of assholes, they managed to make them feel compelling. Credit where its due.

anyway, lmm is a good songwriter, the issues with hamilton come from the glorification of the historical figures portrayed. if hamilton was more critical of these individuals, it might not have been such a... yeah.

the hardest hitting songs are the songs that delve into the personal lives of the individuals rather than politics. Satisfied, Wait for It, Helpless, Burn, Dear Theodosia, It’s Quiet Uptown... these are all incredibly emotional and raw. Aaron Burr was a fascinating individual and all of his songs reflect this, honestly. IRL, Burr was actually one of the least scummy of the cast, though because he wasn’t very fond of Hamilton, he is villanized. unsexy. Leslie Odom Jr. has such a powerful voice and does an incredible job as Burr.

some of the songs about the war are also decent works. Stay Alive talks about the actual conditions the American militia put themselves through, and The World Turned Upside Down, while it’s a very patriotic (ew) pov, is still a well written victory anthem. the most interesting one is History Has It’s Eyes on You, and having Washington sing it was a great choice. it’s one of the few songs where a founding father is looked at critically for their failings, and said founding father point blank says that those who come next will judge whatever you do. Christopher Jackson is an amazing vocalist and he actually has talked about his struggle to play Washington despite Washington being a dick.

the songs about politics tend to fall flat because they oversimplify the actual views of the main character and paint everyone around him as either a villain or ally based on whether they liked Hamilton. the cabinet battles especially are pretty cringe. there are a couple exceptions that I’ll discuss in a moment, but first, a character analysis tangent.

Thomas Jefferson is... an interesting case. Irl, the man was a disaster of a person. He came down with migraines from talking to women, was generally considered a weirdo, and was the original “rich person who buys expensive versions of the ugliest clothes and acts like he’s presentable”. Yet aside from one line in It Must Be Nice, he’s portrayed as a extravagant, dramatic, yet mildly charming asshole. His costume is bright purple, he carries a fancy cane. Like, ignoring the fact that its inappropriate to ever make Thomas Jefferson seem charming, this isn’t even accurate to who he was as a person. He was less sociable than Isaac Newton for fucks sake. The only accurate thing is being a france weeb and being a worse debater than Hamilton.

Anyway, speaking of It Must Be Nice, its one of the few good political songs. It’s critical of Hamilton and it explains why the Madison and Jefferson hate his guts (though for stupid reasons). Furthermore, it also explains the political climate of the day better than other political songs in the musical. The other two good ones are, of course, The Room Where it Happens and Your Obedient Servant.

The Room Where It Happens is not only an amazing breaking point for Burr to stop waiting around, it’s the one time in the musical where the real Alexander Hamilton is best represented. (Hamilton in yellow, Burr in blue)

“Or did you know even then it doesn't matter where you put the U.S. capital?

Cause we'll have the banks, we're in the same spot

You got more than you gave

And I wanted what I got

When you got skin in the game, you stay in the game

But you don't get a win unless you play in the game

Oh, you get love for it, you get hate for it

But you get nothing if you wait for it

God help and forgive me

I wanna build something that's gonna outlive me.”

This is the real Hamilton. The facade of caring about ideals is gone, and the truth is bared; Alexander Hamilton was a smooth talker who only did things when he saw it could benefit him in some way. The man was obsessed with his legacy, and anything that got in the way of him building one was just collateral. Yes he was crass and loud, but guess what? That usually meant he was heard over everyone else. Burr only just realized that the whole “scrappy underdog” act was just that; an act

Your Obedient Servant is Burr calling out Hamilton for going back on everything he claimed to believe just to keep Burr from the nomination. Fun fact: the 1800 election was not a landslide victory. It was incredibly close. Hamilton’s endorsement was probably what kept it from being a tie.

Hamilton tries to defend himself by projecting his flaws onto Burr. “I am not the reason no one trusts you, no one knows what you believe” isn’t an accurate depiction of Burr in the slightest. Burr actually quite enjoyed politics and debates, and none of his setbacks ever kept him down for long. He cared very little for what his contemporaries thought of him though: He relied on the merits of his points. A lot of his correspondence was left to his daughter, Theodosia, and was lost on the shipwreck that killed her, so theres a lot we don’t know about him. But the musical depiction of him is not really accurate.

The problem with Hamilton isnt that it’s a musical about the founding fathers. Its that it grossly misrepresents those founding fathers. It never considers the thoughts of the slaves of any of the main characters. It never considers the Native American perspective on the Revolutionary War. It mocks John Adams, despite him being one of the few founding fathers who not only didn’t own slaves, but publicly berated his contemporaries for relying on slavery. It does a great deal of injustice to Burr. It woobifies the Schylers. For fucks sake, it forgot Benedict Arnold. Ya know, one of the most famous spies? Who almost cost America the War?

Its impact on modern political discussion and internet culture is also kind of a net negative, save for the production “The Haunting of LMM”. Its status as a fucking joke these days is earned. Though it has some good songs, and the fact that it got an official recording means good things for the future of Broadway accessibility, it’s a hot mess and is an example of how not to do a historical musical.

[dannineedsfriends]

A Favour Part 2

Oof. I need some serious baby kisses next chapter to make up for this one.

Walking home, Anne was still wrapped up in Catherine's cardigan and she grapples onto Cathy's hand, to whom refuses to let go. Their shoulders brush together once more and Anne yawns softly, laying her head on her shoulder as they walk, despite it being uncomfortable. 

"Tired?" Cathy asks, squeezing their interlocked fingers. Anne nods slowly and yawns again, squeezing back just as hard. 

"A little bit. I've just been thinking about school and things and… how the only positive thing I associate with school is you."

"Anne, you don't have to act anymore.." she says, mumbling and looking to her feet. "The girl's aren't watching our every move anymore."

She shrugs. "'M being honest, love. I just have so much to prove to people and it's stressing me out, someone to pretend to be. With you, I had a completely fresh slate, almost no opinions beforehand, or expectations; it was a breath of fresh air. Never in my life have I been so utterly grateful for one person to be my friend, even if I'm a complete fuck-tart with bad hygiene." 

"You don't have bad--"

"Oh don't jinx it. You'll say that and I promise- i won't shower for at least a month." She teases, lifting off of her shoulder and stepping away to swing their arms between them. "I just look at you and I see everything I want to be, everything I want to have, all in one deity of a human beings and…-"

Anne drawls off, not quite being able to fathom the words she's trying to say, and her silence almost costs her the chance. 

"Wait.. this is your house.." she grumbles, shaking her head and taking the last of the heat before beginning to pull off the cardigan, but realising that Parr hadn't let go of her hand.

She just smiles, leading her up the steps to the front door and pushing it open, mentioning for Anne to step inside, to which she accepts gracefully, feeling the heat radiating from the doorway. Cathy pushes off her shoes and takes a deep breath, grabbing Anne's hand again and pulling her up to her bedroom. 

"What do you think you're doing, out of curiosity?" 

Before Catherine has time to answer, Anne is pushed up against the wall adjacent to the door, Cathy's lips to hers, urgent, desperate even, as her hands graze her hips, gripping them through the dungarees. 

Anne pushes her fingers into her kind-of-girlfriend's curls, kissing her back with as much passion and pulling her closer, pushing the nape of her neck in encouragement. That was when she jumped to wrap her legs around her waist, crossing her feet and still being against the wall, but now Parr's hands were exploring the pockets of her shorts, grinning against the kiss.

It wasn't long before Parr's lips left hers, moving to explore her neck and jaw. From the glances of Cathy's face, she was covered in Anne's lipstick, which only excited her more. Adrenaline pumped through her veins as they  somehow found their way onto the bed. That was when Anne pulled away from Cathy, breathing heavily as she found herself straddling her hips. 

"What the fuck just happened?" Anne asks breathlessly and Parr sits up, holding herself up on one arm, the other arm shrugging as she touches the soft curls of baby hair at the base of Anne's neck, which raises goosebumps across the girl's arms. 

"I don't know what came over me.. I never thought I'd do anything like that- ever." She raises her eyebrows and Anne can't help but grin at the sight in front of her. Cathy, the softest girl about, was beneath her, lips and chin covered in her lipstick.  

"Please do it more often." Anne grins, moving to have her lips meet Cathy's again, softly, eyes fluttering shut. All desperation for contact was lost between them, and now they simply basked in the connections, timid yet so unperturbed. 

"I'm planning on it." Cathy teases, shifting beneath Anne's weight once their kiss had broken once more. She rolls off of her lap, sensing the discomfort and sits up next to her, and her partner falls back into the bed, curls spreading across the pillow in a feathered blanket. Anne maneuvers across to the point where she's sat over Cathy's torso, looking down at her. 

"Anne? Can I ask you something? Its okay if you say no- I've just always wanted to ask." 

"Mhm?"

"Do you like girls?"

"Has there ever been a more obvious question?" She grins, eyes sparkling and she reaches and smudges the lipstick on her chin. 

--

Cathy murmurs, trying to turn over but ceasing with the pressure of arms pulling her back in place. She opens her eyes to the sleeping figure of Anne Boleyn, peaceful and comfortable, she can assume. At some point, they must have fallen asleep because the covers were pulled over them. 

She moves to rub her eyes, yawning and cringing at the fact that the sun was coming through the window, in the gap in the curtain. Never in her life had she woken up next to someone- let alone someone that she had made out with. She notices that Anne, the poor thing, is still in her dungarees, and her teeth tugs at her bottom limp. Isn't she uncomfortable? 

Her dark brown hair covers her face and Cathy reaches out to push it out of the way, hand resting against her cheek, thumb stroking the skin. Anne shifts and inhales sharply, pulling at Cathy's hip. 

Her gut doesn't tug like she thought it was, when Anne moves. If she was caught touching her, she was sure that Anne would just smile and lean into her touch. Why is this girl so… so… loving…? 

And what made her so addictive? Why did every touch of Anne's fingers leave her craving more? Why did every kiss leave her lusting to feel her lips against hers just one last time? 

Even the few kisses that she had shared with boys felt nothing like this, to her recollection. They felt meaningless and insignificant compared to the oceans of emotions thrumming through her veins when she kissed Anne… 

Anne. 

It was just Anne. A girl. Did she even like girls…? She had asked Anne and wasn't even sure herself. Anne wasn't a boy either, to her recollection. She glances down and shakes her head. Definitely not, no. 

The girl in front of her smiles in her slumber, still trying to get closer to Cathy. Instead of allowing her to creep up on her, she shuffles back and blows gently into Anne's face, watching her eyelids flutter. 

"You little dick-head! You're awake!" Catherine announces loudly, moving a bit away from her, and she observes Anne as she giggles and yawns, opening her eyes and stretching out, hand leaving Cathy's waist. 

"You caught me." Anne smiles, watching her and Cathy sits up abruptly, pushing herself off of her bed and wiping at her face, suddenly. "Cathy-? Are you alright?"

But Cathy keeps moving and she's practically forced to drag herself after her, following her to sit outside the bathroom door, knocking on it. "Are you crying?"

Theres a hiccupped sob through the door. "No. Why would I be crying?" 

"I dunno. That's why I'm asking because you're clearly upset." Anne shuts up, sighing and standing up. "Was it something I did..?" 

"If it was me- I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to do anything and..-" she tries to think about what she could've done. She didn't touch anything in her room, she stayed in bed and cuddled her, like she asked. What else does she want? 

"You- you're just..-" Cathy opens the door to the bathroom slightly, peaking out. "You're too fucking adorable and- it's not funny, Anne."

"You're-" she bites back a giggle. "You're crying because I'm cute?"

"Yes." She admits woefully, now shameful as she allows the door to swing open. Anne wraps her arms around Cathy's neck, leaning to kiss the corner of her lips. 

"It's okay - I get that a lot." She says, lips still against her face. Despite herself, Cathy grins at the cheek of her, closing her eyes as the last tear skims her cheek. Anne brushes it away. "Now come back to bed - I need to cuddle my Cathy." 

--

It became a regularity for Anne to show up on a Saturday morning when Cathy was enjoying her coffee. Sometimes they sat quietly and did homework, others they chatted and drank way too much than they should've, just because they  wanted an excuse to keep talking, sometimes they even held hands over the table, when they were sure people weren't watching. 

That was what made the moment that much more special, Catherine mused, fingers drumming against her mug as she checks the clock once more, straining her neck to see out of the window. Where was she? She sighs impatiently, running a hand through her hair and checking her phone for a message that she knew she hadn't got. Her phone wasn't on silent, and she knew that there were no messages coming through, but why did she check? 

Because she was addicted to Anne. Her Anne. She looks to her coffee mug, now empty. Sighing, she stands up, picking up a small bag and putting it on her back. This was the first time in a while that she had been stood up. But- then again, what was she thinking? It wasn't a date. It wasn't a tradition for Anne to show up. It was simply a nice thing that was now no longer happening. 

Cathy leaves the coffee shop disappointed. Shouldn't she be happy? After all, her quiet morning to herself was restored, and maybe she did enjoy it, she decides. Yeah. She did. She's completely fine without Anne. Instead of heading straight home, to prove that she's doing just fine, she detours through the park, taking in the ending cycle of the trees and the cold air. 

It had barely been a month since the whole Anne shenanigans started, leaving Cathy completely out of ideas for Christmas. It was in a week, near abouts, and school was over, leaving her with nothing to do for two whole weeks. She hugs herself tightly, watching the fog emit from her mouth and shaking her head at herself for being foolish. 

She was too busy watching the trees to notice that Anne was standing right in front of her, holding hands with a man, to whom she had never seen before. Her Anne leans into the figure, her profile grinning contentedly, looking to at him and leaning into his lips. She lets go of his hand and wraps her arms around his neck, her back to Parr. 

 Cathy audibly gasps and widens her eyes and turns on her heel, her stomach dropping to rattle at her feet as she walked, swallowing hard.

 There's footsteps behind her, and then theres a hand twisting her around, and she catches the face of Anne, grabbing onto her, her lipstick  smudged like it was the night of the party, but it's not her responsibility to fix it, not anymore. She shrugs her off and turning to walk away, blinking the tears out of her eyes and wiping at her face. She raises her shoulders to her ears, shaking her head again and again, ignoring the shouts that were coming from behind her.

"Cathy- Cathy, please!" Anne yells, jogging to keep up with her. 

"Don't call me that!" Cathy snaps, turning around to look her in the face, swiping at her face. "Don't call me that.." she repeats, voice breaking and cracking as she stares Anne right in the face.  She just shakes her head, eyes locking with Anne's. 

"Go back to whoever the fuck that was. He's waiting for you." She spits, turning again and sprinting home. 

An image flashes in her mind of her own hand clutched in Anne's. Her Anne's. Or- his Anne's, perhaps would be more fitting. 

Anne didn't need her anymore, she decides. Everything Anne did was fake, obviously. If she meant any of it, why would she spend her time holding hands with someone else…? She meant nothing to Anne. The stolen kisses and the sweet whispers. Nothing. All the times Anne had held her close to her chest and told her that she was beautiful. 

Wrong.  Wrong. Wrong. It was all wrong! Catherine Parr is alone. She has been, is and always will be alone because, as proven, there will always be someone better. There will always be more. The grass is always greener on the other side, as they say. Why would such an angel as Anne be tied devilishly to a binding entity such as Parr? Because I'm worthless, she thinks. I'm worthless. 

[kvndeathmusic]

my favorite records of the 2010s pt 1 (the less great stuff/honorable mentions)

Neither this post or its followup are going to be in any particular order, however all the records I talk about here are, in my opinion, not as good as the records i will talk about in my part 2. they’re all fantastic but these ones slightly a little less fantastic than the ones in my “top 10″. none of this is based on stuff like 'influence' or whatever other critics base their lists on, this is solely how much I enjoyed these records. And keep in mind, I'm only human, I havent listened to a good lot of records I've heard others describe as top 10 worthy, these are just records I found and that I resonate with. long post ahead. 

Vacation - Bomb the Music Industry (2011)

If you asked me what my favorite band is i will either say bomb the music industry or jeff rosenstock, but considering those are pretty much the same things it doesnt matter lol. While Vacation isnt a perfect record, it is one I love. It lacks some of the ska elements that I love about earlier BTMI records, but at the same time, it is the first record where Jeff’s “””solo””” career sound starts to form in tracks like Sick, Later, Hurricane Waves, Everybody That You Love, Everybody That Loves You, and Vocal Coach. And these tracks are all fantastic, especially the absolutely explosive opener Campaign For a Better Weekend. Where this album suffers in my mind is the fact that it exists as a weird hybrid middle ground between BTMI and modern Jeff Rosenstock, it isn’t really ska like old BTMI and it’s not quite to the same standard as the tracks on We Cool?. And some of the songs are just, not as good as the others, like Why, Oh Why, Oh Why (Oh Oh Oh Oh), which is washed out almost entirely in reverb, and tracks like Savers feeling barren and missing additional instrumentation. But fuck man I can not dislike this record or just call it “ok” because despite this I still listen to this record a lot, it’s so catchy and fun and Im a bit too chronically addicted to btmi. 

Reflektor - Arcade Fire (2013)

i dont really get the hate/mixed feelings others have with this record. there’s so many good tracks dude!!!! sure theres a bit of a slump in the middle and it doesnt reach the same emotional heights as their previous records you gotta be ignorant to overlook this records strengths. while i do like The Suburbs more than Reflektor, man i just vibe HARD with some of these tracks; the title track, We Exist, Here Comes The Night Time, Normal Person, Awful Sound (Oh Eurydice), Porno, and ESPECIALLY Afterlife. Plus the cover art is cool and I like it. However Flashbulb Eyes is one of the worst tracks Arcade Fire has ever put out and I hate it immensely. And while far less offensive, tracks like You Already Know, It’s Never Over (Hey Orpheus), and Joan of Arc are just kinda boring and/or uninteresting. Now granted, I'm extremely biased when it comes to Arcade fire in general unless were talking about the trainwreck that is Everything Now. I started listening to Arcade Fire just before Reflektor came out, and I have a kinda sentimental attachment to the record. ill explain the feeling more when i talk about The Suburbs. anticipation oooooo.

good kid m.A.A.d city - Kendrick Lamar (2012)

i might get crucified by some for not putting this in my top 10, but whatever come at me i guess. gkmc is a fantastic record, but i do think the ending is weak, which is why it’s here instead of in the top 10. i mean, let’s be real, Real is a mediocre track, and while Dying of Thirst is an important track to the whole narrative of the record, it feels way too long. almost everything else about this record is fantastic, from the beats, to kendrick’s nasally flows, to the overall structure of the record spinning a tale of a young man battling demons both inside and out, and his eventual redemption. even if i find this record at times to drop pace, it really is flawless otherwise. it felt like a disservice to put this in the 20-10s, bc it’s a good record, but i had to make some compromises and this was one of them. 

RTJ2 - Run The Jewels (2014)

el-p and killer mike are a perfect duo, and the tracks they make together are always total bangers. and for me, RTJ2 is the best overall, with RTJ3 in a close second. it’s hard to put this on the lower half of the list, some of the tracks just don’t work as well as the others, but despite that there’s not really any tracks i hate or dislike on this record, minus maybe crown. the pure aggression in the opening track Jeopardy sets the tone for an aggressive yet highly focused record. This is some of the best rap out there right now if you want some music to fuck shit up to. 

Pure Comedy - Father John Misty (2017)

This record is both hilarious and extremely bleak. Josh Tillman is a master of satire and sarcasm, and Pure Comedy is the peak of his songwriting skills. The title track is one of the best tracks of the decade, period. And he keeps up the momentum on the following few tracks. The main problem with this record is its weaker second half, but even then it’s criminal to suggest that those songs aren’t good regardless. And despite the bleakness, the one line that sticks in my head after all this time is the line this album fades out to: There’s nothing to fear.

Knife Man - AJJ (2011)

Continuing on the trend of folky, satirical, and bleak records, Knife Man is AJJ’s defining record (next to their debut LP). AJJ blends loud, punky anthems with quieter, folk tracks that touch on sensitive issues in a way only AJJ manages to get away with. And there’s some genuine heart mixed in as well, with the final track Big Bird always striking a chord with me. However, I do feel the record is, let’s just say, padded at times in my opinion. Still, I can’t deny how much i enjoy tracks like Gift of the Magi 2, Hate Rain on Me, The Distance, and Skate Park. Speaking of which when I saw AJJ live recently they played none of those songs and that kinda sucked but hey it was like $20 I can’t complain. And speaking of not getting what I wanted...

You Won’t Get What You Want - Daughters (2018)

It was hard choosing between this record and their 2010 self titled record, but in terms of the overall narrative and variety this record shines through. If there was a number 11 spot in this unorganized list this would probably take that spot. It’s noisey, it’s abrasive, and it’s like nothing you’ve heard before unless you’ve listened to Daughter’s previous records. Tracks like The Reason They Hate Me are catchy in the weirdest and most unwelcoming of ways, Less Sex sounds like a long lost Trent Reznor NIN track, and Guest House is a masochistic and gut wrenching finisher. Fantastic record aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.

We Cool? - Jeff Rosenstock (2015)

It’s obvious that I had to include this record somewhere on these list. It’s like a more refined version of the sounds that Jeff experimented with on Vacation. Definitely more punk than ska, but still some of those roots still shine through, especially in the track Nausea. Some of Jeff’s best songs are on this record, from the loud opening tracks Get Old Forever and You, In Weird Cities, to tracks dripping with bittersweet and moody lyrics like I’m Serious, I’m Sorry and Polar Bear or Africa. The main reason this record is on the back end of the top 20 is because the deeper cuts on the record do not match the energy and heights of the best tracks. Tracks like All Blissed Out, The Lows, Darkness Records and Beers Again Alone don’t feel like they belong and stick out a bit. They remind me more of the material Jeff put out on his 2012 EP I Look Like Shit. Mind you they aren’t bad tracks, but I’ll be honest I skip them often when listening to the record because i just wanna get back to the good good stuff. 

Sports - Modern Baseball (2012)

Sports is one of the best pop punk records ever, if you can even consider it as such. It’s like a blend of emo and folk punk, and it works so well. A good majority of this record is on my main shuffle playlist. Is it pushing boundaries? Not really, but tracks like Re-Do, Tears Over Beers, and See Ya, Sucker are undeniably catchy and memorable. I NEED MODERN BASEBALL BACK TOGETHER RN. There’s not really anything that wrong with the record, besides maybe lacking in variety, but at 30 minutes, it’s a record that feels nostalgic even on a first listen, and continues to feel that way even after numerous re-listens. Speaking of nostalgia...

The Suburbs - Arcade Fire (2010)

Some background, when I was 13 (circa 2013), I only really listened to whatever my parents put on for me. From my mom, I “inherited” a taste for classic pop and 80s new wave. From my dad, I got metal and hard rock. The first time I made the conscious decision to listen to a record fully, based on my own curiousity, was when I sat and listened to Sgt. Pepper in the summer of 2013, which broadened the scope of what I thought music could even be. And later that year, the first band I got into after The Beatles? Arcade Fire. When I think of my early teens, the memories are set to this record. I remember listening to Ready to Start in my brother’s old hot ass car while driving to the local fair with some friends on a chill fall night, eating tons of junk and staying up past midnight back when doing that was edgy and cool and not a symptom of my depression. 

If I was judging this record solely by its best tracks, it would easily be in the top 3. But I couldn’t place it in my top 10 because, frankly, some of the deeper cuts are lacking. I can’t say I like Deep Blue. I really don’t like Rococo. And Half Light I kills the pace of the record. But man, that title track, Ready to Start, Modern Man, Empty Room, Half Light II, Sprawl II... these songs defined my early teen years. I still tear up listening to the title track. Sure I have to skip a few songs when I re-listen, but I can’t place it any lower or my heart will break. It existing outside of the top 10 already hurts. And that’s all that’s left now. The top 10. 

But first, some random honorable mentions that didn’t make this list:

Sound & Color - Alabama Shakes

Black Star - David Bowie

Saturation II - BROCKHAMPTON

Melophobia - Cage the Elephant

Teens of Style - Car Seat Headrest

How to Leave Town - Car Seat Headrest

Daughters - Daughters

Sunbather - Deafheaven

Bottomless Pit - Death Grips

Year of the Snitch - Death Grips (should be on this list tbh)

Doris - Earl Sweatshirt

I Love You, Honeybear - Father John Misty

Helplessness Blues - Fleet Foxes

Plastic Beach - Gorillaz

Boarding House Reach - Jack White

POST- - Jeff Rosenstock

S/T - Joyce Manor

Firepower - Judas Priest

ye - Kanye West

KIDS SEE GHOSTS - KSG

You Were There - Kill Lincoln

Flying Microtonal Banana - King Gizzard

Infest The Rats’ Nest - King Gizzard

No New World - Mass of the Fermenting Dregs

Bury Me At Makeout Creek - Mitski

Puberty 2 - Mitski

Unsilent Death - Nails

Itekoma Hits - Otoboke Beaver

Morbid Stuff - PUP

A Moon Shaped Pool - Radiohead

RTJ3 - Run the Jewels

Angles - The Strokes

To Be Kind - Swans

Undertale OST - Toby Fox

Scum Fuck Flower Boy - Tyler, The Creator 

Igor - Tyler, The Creator

Weezer (White Album) - Weezer

nightlife - yuragi

[dazeyrains-blog]

Fall-ing - Hayffie Summer Week

As promised!

Apologies for the lateness...

Also, it may read rushed.

Katniss POV but totes Hayffie :) Enjoy!

#HayffieSummerWeek

....

In typical Effie manner, she promised to visit Peeta, I and our little one not every week, not every month but every season.

"I don't want to overwhelm you all with my presence" she had joked once Olivan had been born "You all know how excited I get around little ones, I'm afraid I'd be too much for you all"

She was right of course. As much as they all loved Effie and adored her visits, she never did come without a million stories, over generous gifts for all of them and about a whole new wardrobe designed especially for Katniss and Peeta at her very own studio.

That's what she did now. She designed and she was actually very good at it. She had an edge to her couture and and eye for what was up and coming and also for what suited people. Katniss hated to admit it but she actually loved the pieces Effie would bring for her...even the dresses. Not that those were worn much.

Oli was born in Spring, Effie last visited in the summer.

She'd bought us the biggest paddling pool I've ever seen in my life without even thinking that Oli was nowhere near big enough to swim in that yet. We'd laughed about it but we'd had a ridiculously hot summer so Peeta and I took turns in it and it ended up being a godsend. I suppose that's what Effie always was. When you needed her the most, she was there.

She asked about Haymtich again that season, she she asked about him every season but I always had to give her the same reply.

"He's still traveling"

And he was, as far as I knew.

He'd call to check in now and again but Peeta and I hadn't seen him for almost two years now. As mayor of 12 and one of the heads of the Panem council, he spent his days traveling district to district, assesing the progress, the challenges and bringing updates back to President Paylor and the rest of the council.

I told him he was going to wear himself out

He told me it was the only thing distracting him from the drink, so, we let him be and we miss him from afar.

Effie misses him too, surprisingly. I can tell. Her eyes look distant and sad whenever I mention he still hasn't returned. I think she takes it worse when I tell her he's been in the Captiol because he never looks her up. I think that upsets her. I stop telling her things like that.

"Yeah, he's still just...traveling around"

....

Fall had begun. The first of the leaves had just begun to drop, this was my favourite season.

The gentle way the breeze blows through the trees always reminds me of Prim. I feel closest to her during fall.

The phone rings and I already know who it is, no one else calls this phone...

"Hi Effie, happy fall, when are we expecting you?"

But it wasn't her.

"Mrs Mellark, this is Dr Daviid Hapern, I am calling on behalf of my recent patient Mr Haymtich Abernathy"

"Recent patient? Is he ok? What's happened!?"

"Mr Abernathy was admitted six days ago..."

"Six days!?"

"Yes, ma'am, I'm sorry, we had trouble finding the name of his next of kin. He is awake now and he asked us to call you"

"He's awake...oh thank God. What hospital?"

"That's why I am calling, Mr Abernathy is currently in the Captiol Central infirmary but we will be transferring him to the District 12 infirmary today"

"Today!?"

"He will be admitted until the doctors there see fit to let him return home but we need to make sure he will have regular visitors to check in on his progression if he is to rest at home"

"Absolutley" Katniss assured "What time will he be transported?"

"The medical craft will leave within the hour, Mr Abernathy should be admitted by midnight tonight"

"Midnight, got it. Ok. I'll be there"

....

They had released him a few days later and Peeta and I drove him back to the old Victor village.

"I'll be here in the morning at 7:30 to make sure-"

"7:30!?" He grimaced at me "Can't a sick man get a lie in these days"

"You're not sick, you're in recovery. You need to be up at 7:30 to do your morning excersises like the doctor told you, a healthy breakfast at 8 and then you're taking a morning walk with me and Oli"

"Fan-fucking-tastic" he grumbled but I knew he didn't mean it viciously. He was fed up. We might have been being over cautious. The doctor said after a few months of a similar routine, healthy food and excersise, he would be out of danger and fit to go back to work.

....

As we left him to it for the day, I promised I'd be back at dinner with a bowl of hot rabbit stew. As we neared our own home, we recognised the bright pink luggage on our steps.

"There you all are!" Effie beamed, returning from the back of the house "I worried that me coming unannounced meant I'd missed you going away somewhere!"

She drew Peeta and I into a hug

"You never called?" I said, to which she apologised. Apparently her visit was a last minute desicion after a gap came up in her work load.

"I just jumped on the earliest train! I called but there was no answer so I thought I'd get here and just hope for the best. Oh my darlings I've missed you all so much"

She reached out for Oli and I handed him over to a shower of Effie kisses

"He's so big!"

"He's growing at lighting rate, soon he's going to be bigger than Peeta"

"And stronger! Look at him! Oh he's so gorgeous I could eat him"

She didn't.

We ate pie instead, rhubarb and cherry, fresh from Peetas bakery.

"I was about to wrap some up for Haymtich" Peeta said "But best not in his condition"

I looked at Peeta as Effies form fell to her plate

"Haymitch...is here?"

I couldn't tell if she was excited or nervous

"Yes. Finally" I confirmed, "He's...home"

"Condition?" She asked "What condition?"

And when we eventually told her the whole thing we couldn't have stopped her going over there if we tried.

....

It was getting late. The rabbit stew was still hot.

"You think I should go over now?" I asked Peeta "Theres been no word?"

I was concerned. After years apart and knowing their firery history, I imagined them biting each other's head off and that definitely wouldn't be good for Haymitchs recovery.

"I think you better" He replied, equally as concerned. Although, I think he worried more about Effie. "He's got a real temper on him at the moment, I dread to think what's going on over there"

That settled it. I spotted some stew and made my way over as Peeta watched Oli.

I couldn't hear any raised voices as I stepped onto the porch, maybe they'd killed each other already. I didn't bother to knock, I never did, I just walked in and that's when I saw them.

Stood by the fire

Arms around each other

Kissing.

"Oh god! I'm- I'm so sorry!"

Holy hell, what the- I placed the pot down and turned around.

"Sorry, I ah... I didn't realise you were- you would be- "

Oh god this was awkward!

"Its ok Katniss!" Effie announced, clearing her throat. "Haymitch and I were just...um...just saying goodnight" Effie lied.

"I realised I'd been here quite some time and you'd be wondering where I was so..."

I turned back around slowly. Effie was flushed, Haymitch, obviously, had a smirk on his face.

"Brought you both some stew..."

"Oh! How lovely!" Effie exclaimed, she was being overly chirpy and it was only making this worse. "Why don't we leave that here for Haymitch and I'll escort you back, I'm not hungry right now"

"That's not what you said a minute ago, sweetheart" Haymitch teased. I cringed as Effie jabbed him in the gut.

"Come along" she ordered, taking me by the arm "I'll see you tomorrow Haymitch"

"Can't wait"

We didn't speak the whole walk across the court yard. It wasn't til we ascended the stairs to the door that she stopped and turned to me.

"Perhaps we don't need to tell Peeta about what just happened..."

"What 'did' just happen?"

Effie shook her head "all in good time..."

I didn't argue for an answer

"I'm going to stay a little longer than usual, if that's ok... you and Peeta have enough to deal with, with the bakery and the baby..."

"Ok..."

"So, I'll be helping out...with Haymitch, until he's out of the red"

"....great"

"Good. That settles it. Shall we?"

We went inside.

I told Peeta everything as soon as we went to bed that night.

...

The following morning, I cleverly guilted Effie into watching Oli for an hour whilst I had 'errands' to run. Really, I wanted to speak with Haymitch alone.

"I've been avoiding her" he confessed after much persuasion "for two years"

After digging further to understand why, he admitted it's because she confessed feelings for him, not long after the war. Told him she had missed him more than she should and that it meant something.

That terrified him.

Of course it had. And what had he done, the only thing he knew, burried himself into something. Luckily this time it was work and not the drink.

"And now?"

"Now..." he spoke honestly "Everything's in a different perspective. I almost died... never really admitting to anyone that I felt something too"

I was proud of him. It took guts admitting you loved someone.

"Is she going to stay?"

"She said til the snow falls..."

But winter season came, as did her assistants, back and forth, keeping her buisness ticking by as she remained at Haymitchs side.

Winter turned to spring, spring to summer and still, she spent most of her days in 12. With us. With him.

They never officially announced they were together. I suppose they never needed to. It kinda just...worked.

They wed the following fall and Effie now stays here for all seasons.

[anxietyman32-blog]

let me tell you about me and my situation

i am an aboriginal male 31yrs old from Alberta Canada i’m from Kainai Nation part of the blackfoot people. i have one daughter who i love so much she is 8 years old i have full custody of her.i live 5 km out of Glenwood Alberta Canada on the blood tribe nation. i share a house with my dad here so there’s 3 of us me my dad and child living here i dont have my license and my dad is one of the most cheapest guys i have ever met he wont let me cruise anywhere he has to cart me around and tbh i cant stand living with him. he doesnt help me with anything here he just sits in his room on his phone all damn day and i have a child too who i spoiled she doesnt listen to me i think shes has adhd bcuz he mom smoked all three trimesters with her and my child has been abandoned by her mother and my child has been traumatized by the abusive relationship her mom dragged her through and the drugs scene her mother put her through. my childs mother does not help me in anyway at all even hermom and dad my kids’ grandparents dont help me with her or wont even take her plus my side of the famkily on my dads side they shunned us from them because my dad is weird and he is a preacher they hate us because he owns more land and he doesnt respect the indian religion on this rez (The cult beliefs theae crazxy injuns worship) so they dont come around n visit and we stay in a village made up of my entire family on my dads side they hate our guts they even tried to get cs involved to get my child taken away from me even my own mother causes me problems and her sisters they all hate me and my dad so they dont come around either im sorry if i sound like im bitching...truth be told i have absolutely no body to talk to i have no friends no girlfriend nobody to talk to me and my dad dont talk much we have nothing in common and im pregtty sure he resents me because i failed him somehow in my shitty life tbh i kind of want to let my child go live with her grandparents they told me they think she should live with them and i kind of agree but at the same time i dont wanna just quit on her i dont wanna leave her just so life would be easier i want her in my life its just i cant do shit here i have no way to get me and her out of here unless she lives wit her grandparents for a bit until i can get a place of my own...fuck i hate this i keep hgetting anxieties because i think im stepping on egg shells around my miserable father and i worry constantly for my child i get anxieties so easy im on suboxone and that too feels like its fucking with my mind i think its causing me to be nervous i  live in a mormon area where im sorry to say the white people around here dont like us natives and i dont blame them why because yes i agree too indians act fucking stupid and ugly they fuck there own cuzns they drink and run around with each others spouse on this rez yes they are bad i cant speak for other native nations around the nation. but blackfoot people? yes they are fucking fucked up ppl godless ppl i hate being from them i wish i was a white person tbh ok well ima try and end this but yeah this is my shitty life oh not to mention i rhuematory arthritis too along with my anxiety it happened in 2016 when my childs mom left me for a lesser man theres more to my story ill try and sit down and write out more another time but thats pretty much my life atm i have no way to get out of this im stuck here unless i do what i said ima do or if i some how get a wife a p[retty wife! i wont settle for less tbh and alot of our women are ugly fat and lazy only few are pretty but they are stuck up as fuck 

[zuxnon]

CEO SVT | wonwoo - fast pace

disclaimer: i don’t know what the fuck i’m doig, i didn’t proofread this or anything, i feel weird formatting it to look niceish when it’s bad but imma try anyways, i changed up minor details a bit into it and a good bit of it was written when i was half asleep so if you notice something’s wonky ignore it and/or lmk so i can fix it thanks. ANOTHER DISCLAIMER consider this somewhat of an intro i couldve just made it one long part since the next one is gonna be him too but oh well

summary: everything moves fast when you’re the ceo of a large company. you never have time to waste and when you want something, you get it. what do you do when what you want might not be used to the same lifestyle as you?

seokmin always had weird requests. it was nothing unusual for him to send you, somewhat of an assistant to him, on wild goose chases for random purposes. for that reason, you weren't particularly surprised when he told you to go to a small bookstore across town and buy exactly 15 copies of "The Case of The Missing Heart," a new murder mystery book that had just been published about a week before. you didn't bother questioning it like you might have back when you had just started here. you just grabbed your drink and purse, stood up from your desk, and smiled. "sure, boss." was the only reply you gave him, somewhat hummed in a tone of clear amusement, but he didn't seem to care. he flashed a pearly grin, sent you a wave, and turned back into his office as you turned to leave. there was nothing else to it.

soon enough there you were, scouring the relatively empty bookstore for your boss's most recent questionable request, and you found it. it had probably already been half an hour since you'd left work, you figured he'd probably expect you back in another half hour, and while you doubted he'd care too much, you still didn't want to be late. if you could call it late, that was. with that thought crowding your mind, you quickly snatched a book, then two, then three off the shelves. you would've continued, had you not been distracted by subtle movement out of the corner of your eyes.

standing there, to your utter surprise, was the grim reaper. or, well, you assumed it was more likely a very tall man under a grim-reaper cape, staring down at a game. a game that looked rather familiar from the corner of your eye, and with a risky glance away from the hooded figure and towards the game he was pulling off the shelf, you understood why.

"I worked on that game," you mused aloud, not entirely understanding why you felt the need to tell the grim reaper your life story. but it was too late to do anything about it now, wasn't it? he stilled for a moment, shocked, but slowly turned his head to look at you. you were pretty sure that somewhere under all that thick black fabric, you saw the glint of some silver-rimmed glasses and a few curls of hair.

"You did?" he asked, and if you were to give the grim reaper a voice, it would've probably been something similar to that. your mind briefly flashed back to the scene in goblin where eun-tak asked the goblin if he was the goblin in the library, but you smartly decided against recreating that for fear he might kill you. internally, you gasped. were you already dead? what if this was a test?

wonwoo, on the other hand, was horribly amused. he felt bad, finding amusement in a girl's struggles, but judging by the look on her face, she knew he caught her as soon as she saw his face. he lazily, reached up, finding no reason to continue hiding his identity anymore, and slipped his hood off. she seemed even more stunned. he almost had to bite his lip to hold his smile back, but he somehow managed to keep it at bay without such a show of amusement. she was cute, he noted, but she was also a liar. Wonwoo was friends with the creator of this game, had even made a few appearances to help when he could.

"that's interesting, i didn't see you working when i was there." he said. it was interesting, a change in character that any of his friends would've mocked for months had they seen it, but something about the awkward, familiar energy (familiar in the sense that in some way, she reminded him of himself) she held calmed him. he couldn't explain it, or really understand it, but he could tell she was nothing to be afraid of, she didn't have it in her to tell anyone that he was different around her than his image would suggest. nor did she have the guts to argue, which was also comforting because, well, neither did he.

contrary to his beliefs though, she felt a fire ignite in her veins at his words. the tips of her ears flushed red in embarrassment and she glanced around to make sure nobody was listening in. to her relief, there was nobody around.

"that's interesting, i didn't see you while i was working on it either. as someone credited on the back of the game, you'd think i'd recognize you if you were there." you hissed, crossing your arms defensively over your chest. it wasn't a particularly harsh hiss, but there was no denying the slightly confrontational diction you chose, and he was taken aback just as were you. you, of course, were proud of your work, didn't want that credit stolen from you by some grim-reaper cosplayer who just happened to go shopping and decided to pretend he knew everything about everything- you shut yourself up, knowing you should stop before you made yourself any angrier.

you knew you weren't exactly confrontational, and soon enough the adrenaline of your little outburst had passed and you were slowly cowering back to, avoiding his eyes and looking back to your bookshelf.

"what's your name?" he asked quietly, after quite a few moments of silent staring on his side, flipping the game to see the credits. you said you were on there, and of course you should know your own name.

you shot him a look out of the corner of your eyes, collecting more books off the shelf one at a time. "Why, so you can stalk me? i don't think so."

"oh, so you're admitting that you're not in the game credits?

"I never said that." you bit quietly, frowning to yourself. at this point, he had a bit of a frown on his lips as well. well, at least until he noticed the book you were pulling off the shelf.

"well, i published that book you seem to want so many copies of."

at this point, he was just being an ass. you knew for sure you didn't like this grim reaper. you weren't going to tell some random man off the streets your name, give him more opportunity to find and kill you, and he didn't seem to like that so he decided to mock you. well, it didn't sound like mocking when it fell from his lips but you could tell a mocking word choice when you heard one. you dished out a lot of them yourself, rather than actually confronting people.

"yeah, and i wrote it." you grumbled. with one big, bad idea of a swoop, you somehow managed to catch the rest of the 15 books that somehow fit on that shelf before you used your arm as a makeshift windshield wiper to knock them all in your pile and scurried off. but even though your encounter was brief, somewhat of a reserved argument between reserved people, it left him deep in thought. curious. wondering. and, of course needing that game more than ever before.

and then that was the end of it. you got back to work, followed seokmin's orders and studied more on game creation with the help of both him and the team working for him. you forgot about the cute but obnoxious grim reaper boy and continued on with day to day life. three months passed, to be a little more exact, until the next game launched, and seokmin threw a party. you were still too new to have experienced one of the launch parties before, but he always invited the people he worked most closely with and, of course, his friends. it was somewhat of a small event though, at least in comparison to the expectations you had for such a highly coveted event. or, at least you assumed it was because of the guest list. you didn't know much about your boss' personal life, but it was impossible not to know about seokmin's 12 high-end ceo friends because all of the young women in the building seemed to have a favorite. jeonghan was the name you heard the most. you weren't sure what he did, but you didn't doubt that he was probably gorgeous.

you just didn't find the time to look into it, as you were just finishing up school and devoting all extra time to your job as seokmin's assistant. you started out as an intern, but he liked your drive, your goals, and so he offered you a real job to help pay the bills and get you more experience. he didn't have to help you, but he did and you weren't going to make him regret it.

due to that, this would be your first time meeting any of his friends. you were a little nervous, but you felt the same way meeting anyone. rich, famous, cute as they may have been, you wouldn't let it make you any more nervous than usual. you had little time to be very interested in them, and they would never be interested in you anyways, you're just seokmin's assistant so what would be the purpose of it? theres no sense getting any more nervous around them than you would your mom's friends.

that thought, and any other, cleared when you walked in. it seemed normal. lavish, but that was to be expected. but before you had much of a chance to take in the decorations, you were swept into the madness by a familiar coworker.

time moved quickly, you were never granted with enough seconds to form proper thoughts or observations, feeling like a human hot potato as your coworkers passed you from conversation to conversation- which half the time you could only pretend to know shit about- each keeping you only until they found someone else to entertain themselves with. many of whom had already had just enough alcohol for everyone to tell they were drinking. it was somewhat entertaining, you thought as you finally snuck off to a corner off behind the snack table, slowly consuming a donut you grabbed off it in your escape. at least, until you bumped into something. originally, you thought it was a pole at first, or maybe a rather un-leafy plant, but upon feeling it stumble further back with a gasp, you realized it wasn't. with a squeak of surprise, you jumped around (almost tripping thanks to the heel on the back of your shoes) reaching to help catch the boy, but he had already caught himself and so you reaching for someone who wasn't actually falling caused you to fall, right into his chest.

he caught you with his hands on your upper arms, catching you with the tip of your nose mere centimeters away from smearing your foundation all over his pristine black suit jacket.

your breath is caught, a lump in your already-tight throat because you're so afraid that if you move at all you'll ruin his outfit. so you don't move. he moves you. slowly, he pushes you back up into your feet, neither of you meeting each other's eyes until you're steady, a safe distance away from him and his expensive looking suit.

oh, but when you do meet each other's eyes, all hell breaks loose between you. it takes mere seconds for you to recognize him, seconds of silently wondering where you recognized his face from until you unintentionally gasp aloud, "grim reaper!"  at the same time as he gasps in a similar tone "bookstore girl!"

[angrylizardjacket]

ask your destiny to dance [6] {Roger Taylor}

[masterpost]

“What are you doing here?” Ash’s voice is hostile, and Roger waits with his snare in his arms, just around the corner of the building. He’s not following her, or at least, he didn’t mean to; he’s just packing up his drums, like he did after every show. Sure he was a bit earlier than usual but that didn’t mean anything.

“Sweet girl, I wanted to see you.” The voice is teasing, like she should have know this already, masculine, low, and it makes Roger nauseous. Finally he peers around the edge of the building and catches a better glimpse of the man from the bar, who is now standing less than a foot from a tense and confused Ash who leans against the door to the bar.

“You- why?” Already her voice has softened, but it seems he still makes her uncertain, if the tense set of her shoulders is anything to go by. But then the man’s reaching out, resting his hands on her upper arms. “You’re not mad at me?” She asks, relaxing under his touch, looking up at him with her big, brown eyes. Something in Roger’s gut twists at the sight.

“Of course not, baby girl.” He’s got her accent, Roger realises, and something in his chest tightens as the man places his hands on her shoulders coaxing her away from the door so he can wrap her up in a hug. Roger can see her trembling as she hugs him back, a soft confusion written all over face. “I’ve missed you.” He tells her, voice a murmur, but in the crisp, night air, it’s loud enough that even Roger hears.

“Why are you here, Gus?” Ash is the one who steps back, out of his grip, leaning back against the door. Roger can see her hands shake when she pulls half a cigarette from her breast pocket.

“I wanted to see you again, make sure you’re okay.” And the man, Gus, takes her hands, gently taking the cigarette stub and throwing it away before he laces his fingers with hers. She doesn’t even protest.

“And Kira?” She’d asked, voice so soft that Roger almost didn’t catch it, and the man in question shook his head with a smile as he leaned in, murmuring something that only she could hear, pressing kiss to her cheek.

“Oh, my sweet girl, you look so good.” He mused, voice growing a little louder, stepping back to admire her, and though Roger wants to gag at his tone, syrupy and full of obviously fake revere. Ash actually giggles, and not insincerely. “As beautiful as the day I met you.”

“You think so?” Voice uncharacteristically young and hopeful, it’s so unlike her that Roger’s pushed to the end of his patience, and rounds the corner with his drum in hand, not even acknowledging the pair as he heads for his van, though the way Ash jumps back from the man as if he’d burned her, it does little to ease the discomfort in Roger’s chest.

“Hi!” Suddenly flustered, Ash moves around Gus to stand between him and Roger. He’s not really sure why she’s bothered, there’s so much distance between the back door and the van, but he thinks it might be so that they look less suspicious. It’s not working.

“Hey.” Roger says, tone clipped as he says it, fumbling for his keys as he opens the back doors of the van.

“This is, uh, August.” She’s aware of how strange it sounds, how guilty her words come out, and when Roger’s sat his drum inside the van, he finally turns to get a good look at the man. The man with a hand on Ash’s shoulder, making direct, unflinching eye contact with Roger, smirking.

“August, this is Roger, he’s in the band.” There’s a waiver to her voice that Roger doesn’t like, and he can’t bring himself to smile at her. Everything feels so wrong, and Ash looks so guilty, like she’s been caught red handed.

He’s handsome by any definition, but not by Ash’s usual one. High cheek bones, hair gelled up into a neat quiff with a few sparing grey strands running through it that only served to make him look more distinguished, as did the dark, well groomed stubble on his jaw. He looks to be in his late 40s, in a pressed, well tailored suit, and shoes that Roger would consider too formal for even an explicitly formal event, so out of place in the dingy, pub setting. And his hand is still on Ash’s shoulder.

Roger doesn’t want to think about why it puts him on edge, just knows that it does. August takes long, deliberate strides before he reaches Roger, holding out his hand.

“August Reid.” His smile was sharp, and when Roger took his hand, he held it a little too tight, a show of dominance. “You guys played very well.” It’s the least sincere compliment Roger’s ever received; he wants nothing more than to punch August in his smug face.

“Roger.” After a beat, he leaned against the edge of the van, crossing his arms. “So how do you know Ash?”

“Ashley.” August correct automatically, and Roger can see the way Ash flinches out the corner of his eye, still looking a little mortified, avoiding looking at both of them. August doesn’t see it, his smile widens just a little bit, all sharp teeth. “I taught her back at Saint Andrew’s, I thought I’d stop in while I was in town.” 

“He was my Art History professor.” Ash confirms from behind him, and Roger freezes where he’s looking at her. He’s never seen her like this before, demure, shy; she’s always consciously made an effort to appear larger than life, to compensate for her size and sweet looks, but now she looks so young. She can’t even bring herself to meet his gaze, but he can tell she doesn’t know he saw their earlier exchange, if she did know, he thinks she probably wouldn’t be so honest about that.

“Oh,” is all Roger can say, before he snaps out of it, moving past where August is trying to be intimidating, up to Ash who’s leaning against the back door, “Rocket, can you move, I’m trying to pack up.” She doesn’t even fight him on it, tell he can walk around the front the same way as he got here. With the door opens, he hesitates, reaches out to touch her arm, and when she looks at him her expression is surprised as he tilts his head in a silent question, asking if she’s okay.

“What?” She snaps, frowning and shifting out of his grip, a spark of her old fire returning. Roger’s moment of softness receded with his eye roll and he lets the door slam closed behind him. Part of him knows that August was watching the exchange. By the time he’s pulled down the rest of his equipment and is ready to haul it out, Ash is behind the bar, cheery as ever, and August is nowhere to be found.

“I thought you were studying fashion.” Brian muses into the balmy night air. The band had stayed until last call, intrigued about the newcomer, waiting until Ash was taking out the trash for the night to ask her, the four of them chatting around the van, Mary looking quite tired and leaning against Freddie, but enjoying their company..

“I am.” Ash agreed, seemingly back to her old self now that August had left, grinning like it was the most obvious thing in the world. “This isn’t my first go at uni.” She admitted, and Freddie nodded, passing Mary his lit cigarette.

“I thought he was a talent scout or something; he’s well dressed.” Brian half smiled, and Ash chuckled, shaking her head at him, smile bright. "What was his name?” He asked, and Ash looked a little shocked, looking to Roger, who was suddenly avoiding her gaze.

“Rog didn’t tell you guys?” She asked, smile fading a little into confusion, and Roger snorted out a laugh.

“Told them he seemed like a prick.” He scoffed around his cigarette, and Ash flushed, frowning at him.

“Oi, don’t be mean, Rog! It’s just how he is, he’s always been a bit of a-” and for the barest moments they lock eyes and Ash turns a hilarious shade of pink, they both somehow know what she was about to say, he’s always been a bit of a dominant one, but she can’t bring herself to say those words out loud. She doesn’t want to say it for how it would sound, how it would make the others suspicious, but she knows Roger already is, even if she doesn’t know the full extent; it would be funny if the implication didn’t make Roger’s stomach turn, “a bit of an alpha male, you know.” After a beat, she clears her throat. “But yeah, Doctor Reid is my old Art History professor.”

It doesn’t escape Roger the way she doesn’t say his first name.

“What made you change your mind?” Mary yawns, passing the cigarette back to Freddie, and Ash fixes her with a fond smile. Since Freddie had introduced the women, they’d become fast friends, and Roger had never seen anyone as ready to fight as Ash when the dudes start leering at Mary.

“This was the only place that I could do what I wanted to.” And it sounds so honest that Roger’s tempted to believe it, if not for the memory that surfaces.

It’s her, a few months ago, bathed in moonlight, her head on his chest and his arm around her, ‘I was kicked out of uni once before, you know?’ her voice is thoughtful and he laughs, a little incredulous, asks how, but she’s grinning at him with that wicked smile of hers, and does a good enough job of distracting him that he doesn’t even realise she doesn’t give an answer.

“I’m surprised you even remember his last name,” Freddie laughs, “she couldn’t name a single lecturer on our timetable this semester.” And the others laugh, but Ash just rolls her eyes.

“I don’t want to know their names, it’s not like we’re gonna be friends,” but she does concede after she turns to head inside, “Doctor Reid is a friend of my dad’s, I’ve known him since I was sixteen.” And she smiles so blithely it somehow takes some of the shock out of her statement for Roger, who chokes on the smoke of his cigarette. 

“How did he know you were here?” John’s question cuts through Roger’s spluttering, and Ash stops in her tracks.

“What?” She asked, suddenly confused, a little defensive, as she turns back.

“How did he know you’d be here?” He asks again, so calm and unflinching, not looking away from the sudden flicker of doubt that cross Ash’s face.

“It was coincidence, Deaky; just luck is all.” She says, but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes. She heads back inside. 

The next time they play there, he’s back, and Ash is a sweet, flustered mess, and the dichotomy of this, and who Roger knows her as, is a little shocking. Even Maureen seems concerned, though she doesn’t say anything.

“He’s too old for you.” Roger makes it out the back before Ash does during her usual post-gig break. August went home halfway through the night, and Ash had returned to her normal bright, if a little sultry, bar-persona.

“Excuse me?” She snapped as the door slammed closed, and she looked to where Roger was sitting on her usual milk crate.

“You heard me.” Roger responded, something easing in his chest at the comfort of hearing the hostility in her voice that she’d used when they’d first met. It also hurts a little, to think how he’d prefer the hostility to the cute, blushy mess that August brings out in her. “I saw how he looked at you.” 

“Watch your accusations.” She snapped, but there was actual anger in her words, which surprised Roger. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.” She growled, and it was cold hostility; it wouldn’t lead anywhere fun, and Roger didn’t know how to face this. “I’m an adult, dickhead, so don’t think I can’t make my own decisions.” And her accent’s a little stronger, but her words take a moment to process. “He’s a friend-”

“He calls you baby.” 

That shocks her into silence, and after a moment, a cruel, cold smile spread over her face. They both know, now, that Roger knows exactly what’s going on between her and August. He’d never been good at anything apart from blurting out exactly what was bothering him, and this time was no different.

“Are you jealous? Were you eavesdropping on us? What the fuck?” And there’s no warmth in her harsh laughter. “This is why I don’t do casual.” She spits, and Roger’s whole face lights up with shock, and he barks out a laugh.

“Jealous? Oh Ashley,” and when he says it, she flinches again, and he regrets using the name almost immediately, but he can’t help digging himself deeper, “no, I’m just interested in what a goddamn doctor, who’s almost fifty, mind you, is doing being interested in a girl like you.” 

He watches as she actually has to take a step back, her mouth falling open in shock, eyes suddenly shiny with tears, and he knows he’s fucked up.

“A girl like me...” She whispers it with a laugh, smiling sadly, before finally meeting his gaze. “He... he likes me, Roger.” And fuck, she sounds so vulnerable it’s like a punch to the gut. “After everything I’ve done, he fucking likes me.” And after a beat, she stepped forward. “He still thinks I’m good, and that’s all that matters.”

She cuts her own break short, slamming the door as she heads back inside, leaving Roger to the silence of the car park.

the ususal suspects: @deakydickfanpage @hollyissuchahoe  @laueecakee@smittyjaws @crystalshines2909 @i-am-sarah @legendsaresooftenwarnings @2ptonpt@benhardy24-7 @maiilovely @mickey-yr-a-goner @butter-times @heyyouitskay @tired-eyes-fairy-lights​ @yepimthatperson @missieluvsmurder @ironqueen98 @ceruleanrainblues​@banhbao329 @fantasticchaoticwho @ko-kitty @seven-seas-of-hi @mimisfangirlfantasy @aadjuric

[thisdiscontentedwinter]

Stella and the Wolf - Chapter 11

You can read it here on AO3, or check out the Tumblr Chapter Index here. 

Stiles knows one thing for certain. He knows that if he and Stella get into the SUV, they’re not getting out again. He also knows that you don’t argue with a person with a gun, however much she’s smiling.

“Okay,” he says, hating the way his voice cracks on that simple word. “Okay, we’re getting in.”

Stella makes a small frightened sound beside him.

He steps forward and opens the back door of the SUV. There’s nobody in the backseat. Good.

The open door gives them a few seconds maybe, where the woman thinks he’s obeying her. And a few seconds where it obscures her vision of them. A few seconds, but he has to use them.

“Run,” he mouths to Stella, and shoves her. And says, aloud, “Okay, we’re getting in.”

A few seconds, and then he’s turning, and running, keeping himself between Stella and the woman. Keeping himself in her line of fire.

“Back up!” the woman yells at the driver. “Back up!”

And the tires of the SUV screech, and the open back door wobbles back and forth like a loose tooth as the SUV spins around in a speedy three-point turn to face them.

“Help!” Stella screams as she runs, and how does she have any breath left in the lungs at all? “Help! Help us!”

Her shoes slap on the pavement as they bolt back toward Deaton’s.

Stella hammers on the glass front door, and Stiles hems her in as the SUV closes on them.

Oh God. They’re sitting ducks now, aren’t they? Stiles shields Stella—tells himself to fall forward to cover her when he’s hit—and then he is falling, but if he’s hurt he can’t feel it, and there’s a strange popping sound, and the SUV is speeding off back into the night.

It takes Stiles a moment to figure out what happened.

It helps that he’s lying on the floor on top of Stella, and Deaton is staring down at them, eyebrows raised.

He opened the door, Stiles figures, and they both tumbled through like skittles.

Deaton isn’t their only audience though.

A man wearing coveralls with the name of the tire place across the street is hurrying toward them too.

“What the hell’s going on?” he asks. “Shit. Is that a bullet hole in your window, Alan?” And he holds up his cell phone. “I called the cops.”

Stiles should panic about that, he thinks, but at the moment he’s way too relieved to actually be alive.

***

Dad turns up, lights and sirens heralding his approach. Well, first Tara turns up, but the second she sees who’s involved, she calls Dad, and Stiles knows there’s no use telling her that it’s not necessary. It’s a lie anyway, because the moment Dad turns up, Stiles goes weak at the knees, and can barely hold himself up long enough for Stella to get her hug before he’s stumbling into Dad’s embrace as well. He’s shaking, and he can’t stop, and Dad rubs his back and makes angry, growling kind of shushing noises that fall somewhere between ‘You’re okay, son’ and ‘I’m gonna kill a motherfucker.’ Stiles finds both sentiments equally comforting, to be honest.

“Heard the little girl yellin’ as she ran down the street,” the guy from the tire place is telling Tara. “By the time I got over here, Alan had already got them inside.”

Stiles inhales heavily. Dad smells of coffee and aftershave.

Dad peels Stiles off him gently. “Talk me through it, kid.”

Stiles sucks in a breath. “We were, we were leaving the clinic, and the black SUV pulled in behind us. I didn’t get the license plate. And the woman in the passenger seat asked if we wanted a ride. I said no, and…” He shudders.

“She pointed a gun at us!” Stella exclaims, sounding more outraged than upset. “So Stiles pretended we were getting in the car, and we ran back here instead.”

“You ever seen this woman before?”

“No,” Stiles says, but he’s got a pretty good idea who it was. “She was blonde. Maybe in her thirties? White. Slim build, I guess. She was wearing a dark jacket, and I didn’t get a look at the driver. I think it was a guy.”

It’s paltry, really, the language used to describe suspects. The woman’s face is burned onto his retinas, but his ability to translate it into words is almost non-existent.

“She had a necklace,” Stella says, and Stiles doesn’t even remember a necklace. “It was silver. It had a dog on it.”

Not a dog, Stiles is suddenly sure. A wolf.

There’s no doubt in his mind the woman was Kate Argent, and he’s going to trawl Allison’s Facebook later to made certain.

“And the license plate started with a six,” Stella adds. “I didn’t see the other numbers or letters through.”

Dad looks to Deaton.

“I’m sorry,” Deaton says. “By the time I got the door open, I only saw their tail lights.”

Stiles watches as Dad’s gaze is drawn to the bullet hole in Deaton’s window.  

Attempted abductions are rare, Stiles knows. And so are attempted abductions that end in attempted murder. Sooner or later Dad’s going to have to give voice to what must be a growing suspicion that Stiles and Stella are mixed up in something weird, and that they both know more than they’re telling him.

Stiles hopes it’s later.

“But what were you kids even doing here?” Dad asks, shaking his head helplessly. “I thought you were at home.”

“We, um…” And Stiles has no idea where to go with that.  

“They brought me a stray kitten,” Deaton says, rescuing him unexpectedly.

“You found a kitten?” Dad asks, his forehead creasing.

Stiles nods.

“It was lost and sad,” Stella says, making her eyes go big. “We couldn’t just let it go hungry, Dad! I’m calling it Matilda, and can we keep it, please?”

***

Matilda, thank god, is not an imaginary kitten, and Deaton is able to produce it from out the back. It is, however, a boy kitten. A little orange tabby boy. Stella sits on the floor and pets him and coos over him while Dad and Tara go over everything with Stiles and Deaton and the guy from the tire place again.

Despite Stella’s insistence on immediately adopting Matilda, Deaton tells her he’s not quite big enough to go home with anyone yet, but that if Dad is okay with it then they can come and collect him in a week or two.

Dad, Stiles thinks, would agree to absolutely anything at this point. Stiles can tell he’s shaken at how close his kids came to being seriously hurt—or worse—tonight.

He drives them home in the back of his cruiser, and Tara drives Stiles’s Jeep.

“If there’s anything you need to tell me,” Dad begins, and then shakes his head and stops, like he can’t quite bring himself to ask. Like he can’t accuse his kids of lying, even though it’s got to be at least starting to point to that for him now.

Stiles swallows down his guilt, and plays dumb.

***

Dad heads back to work, because one thing about being the Sheriff, Stiles knows, is that it never stops. His kids were almost abducted tonight, but Peter Hale and his nurse are also missing, so Dad doesn’t get to stay home. There’s always something. And lately, in Beacon Hills, all those little somethings have been snowballing into bigger somethings. It’ll be an avalanche in a minute, Stiles thinks wildly as he locks the door behind Dad. An avalanche, and Stiles only hopes that the people he cares about aren’t caught in its path.

Who is he kidding though, really?

The avalanche has already begun, and theres’s no escaping it now.

***

Derek doesn’t answer any of his texts of phone calls. Not even when Stiles tells him that Kate Argent (thanks, Allison’s Facebook!) threatened him and Stella with a gun. Stiles tries not to feel the sting of betrayal.

Maybe Derek’s lost his phone.

Maybe Derek’s dead.

Okay, so Stiles would definitely prefer the first option to the second one, but he can’t deny the fact that the second option would also fully explain why Derek hasn’t answered. And Derek’s not exactly the guy with the best luck in the universe, is he? Who would be surprised if he was dead?

Stiles ignores the jab of pain in his gut that comes with even entertaining that possibility.

But it’s there.

He doesn’t sleep much that night.

***

Dad works through the night, and stops in for breakfast before heading out to work again.

“You go to school,” he says firmly. “You pick Stella up, and come straight back here afterwards. No going out for takeout, or trips to the mall, or kitten rescues, or anything.” He sighs, and rubs a hand over his forehead. “You’re not grounded, kiddo. This isn’t a punishment, okay? I’d just feel a hell of a lot better if I knew you kids were home, instead of gallivanting off around town.”

“That’s us,” Stiles says. “Pair of gallivanters.”

Stella snorts.

“We’ll come straight home,” Stiles says, and means it too. “No more running around town, I promise.”

“Well, except tonight,” Dad says.

Stiles goes completely blank.

“The dance, kiddo,” Dad reminds him. “You’re dropping Stella off with Melissa, remember? And you and Scott are going to the dance.”

Right.

Right, somewhere out there teenagers are having normal werewolf-less lives. Stiles used to be one of them, not that long ago. He even entertained ideas of asking Lydia to the dance—and constructed vivid fantasies where she actually said yes—and somehow he’d completely forgotten it was tonight.

“Oh,” he says, because he is not at all prepared. “Oh, shit.”

“I got your suit cleaned last week,” Dad tells him. “Also, language.”

“Mrs. McCall is going to show me how to make a blanket out of scrap material,” Stella says. “We were going to make it for my bear, but now we can get a basket and put it in it, so we’re ready for when we can bring Matilda home.”

“It’s a boy cat,” Dad says.

Stella looks at him expectantly.

Dad raises his eyebrows. “Matilda is a girl’s name.”

“Well, he doesn’t know that,” Stella points out. “He’s a cat.”

Dad considers that for a moment. “You know what? That’s a fair call, kiddo.”

Stella looks pleased.

“Be good at school,” Dad says to both of them. “Stay safe.”

He says that a lot, but there’s usually not such weight behind the words.

Stiles and Stella both stay in Dad’s hugs for a little longer than usual, and Stiles locks the door after he leaves.  

“Are you really going to the dance tonight?” Stella asks once the coast is clear.

“I guess,” Stiles says. “Like, we’ll act normal, right? And sooner or later everything will all blow over?”

Stella’s eight, and the look she gives him tells him that even she thinks that’s bullshit.

“We act normal,” Stiles says, as though repeating it will make it true. “And we just hope that Derek’s okay.”

“And Peter,” Stella says.

“What?”

“We hope that Peter’s okay too.”

“Peter has a body count, Stella.”

She shrugs. “But we’re not on it.”

Like that makes any difference.

Except maybe… maybe it does? Because Peter Hale could have killed them both back in that hospital room, but he didn’t, because they didn’t fit the pattern.

Neither did Laura Hale though, right?

Or maybe Stiles has just been looking at the wrong pattern this whole time.

[iceamericanoventi]

Love Will Find a Way, Well, Eventually : 2. In Between

“Where are you going?”

If it was inside Cartoon Network’s universe, everyone must be able to see the smoke fuming from both his nostrils and ears. Jinki looks beyond distressed when he’s lifting his ass from the chair. No one on the table was his partner, but Minho decided to throw some ridiculous question then played dumb as if he didn’t just ask one.

“Should I have number one here?”

He started getting irked, but that doesn’t stay long until Kibum casually munched his breadstick while spluttering his witty comments as usual, “Surely Taemin would be delightful.”

Taemin who didn’t do anything almost chocked himself with a piece of tomato and kicked Kibum’s shin under the table, eventually.

“Promise me you won’t run away?”

Dumbfounded, Jinki emptied his pocket and almost smashed the table with his belonging.

“Are you my husband? Here’s my wallet. And my phone!” and with that, he left the other three men finishing their meal.

“Is he always in this temper?”

Lee Taemin gave him another look, pleading him not to embarrass them further, but Kibum just shrugged and muttered ‘I’m just asking’ under his nose.

“He was mad with me since this afternoon. Plus, he has lots of stuffs to think about these days. But don’t worry, he never really got mad unless you disturb his nap.”

“What is he? A bear?”

“Yaa! Kim Kibum!”

Minho couldn’t help but laugh to the scene happened before his eyes. Taemin is famous for being friendly and very expressive only if you know him, even if he’s talkative. To penetrate his bubble is very hard at first, but this man sitting across him, he seems like he’s already inside that bubble since the very beginning. He really is someone closed to him. Kibum looks mesmerizing, even in his grumbling nature. The oversize sweater wrapped his lithe build perfectly.

A phone call arrived to Kibum's phone, he picked it up frantically and excused himself to take it outside.

"What do you think?"

“Eh?” Minho doesn’t even realized he got his eyes entailed Kibum’s silhouette until it disappear by the entrance door.

“You seemed in trance. I know Kibum is beautiful but I didn’t expect you’ll be this amazed with my friend,” Taemin’s sipping his wine, a smirk is very apparent in his devious face. 

“I guess it’s safe to say that you’re not a liar.”

Minho reopened his mouth few minutes after he’s assured that Kibum’s not going back any soon. Taemin is not ecstatic, sometimes he wondered if Minho has a decent sense of humor of a friend.

“For your information, I’m not and never been. I’m the most honest person you’ve ever encountered in your life.”

“Everyone in this room knows that’s not true.”

“Whatever. I might know my ways deceiving people, but I never lie to my friend.”

 “Did you just admit that you’re lying here and there, Lee Taemin?”

Taemin rolls his eyes, again, probably for the nth times already this evening. Without Jinki around, he can be more relaxed on throwing his tantrum on Minho.

“Choi Minho, people lies at some certain points of their life. Get over it.”

He gulped down the rest of his wine, Taemin then called a waiter near them to bring him another one.

“Kibum seems nice. He sounds smart.”

“Sounds? Did you even listen to yourself? No writer is not smart, Choi. Moreover, someone who’s been writing the past decade!”

“I only know him for one night. Who knows he’s just acting?”

“Dude, not everyone is an asshole like you.”

“An asshole wouldn’t agree to bring his best friend along in front of a psychopath like you.”

Taemin snorted and Minho’s smirk reappeared on his face.

“That is literally what a psycho would do, selling their friend for their own benefits.”

Minho wiped his mouth before washed down the dinner with cold water, “And that’s exactly what Jinki accused me for. You two shared a brain or what?”

“Any sane people would say the same, Honey,” this time Taemin’s smirk that made the other scoffed, “By the way, what’s the deal with Jinki? He looks like he’s been sitting on thorny cushion the whole dinner!”

Minho knows Taemin would ask such question eventually. However, he couldn’t say that Jinki hates the whole dinner date plan, it’s impossible. Besides that, knowing him for years, Jinki really is an angel in disguise, well, at least when he’s in the mood.

“People have different, what should I say, defense mechanism? And that’s how he is. What kind of person who talked nonstop during their first meeting, anyway?”

“Oh, I don’t know, me?”

“That’s why you’re a freak.”

“A freak who introduced you to your potentially next boyfriend.”

“Ha. Point taken,” Minho raised his hand to ask for the dessert, “Jinki is just not the type of person who will talk a lot and open up in a second. But I guarantee you, he’s a good person. Sometimes a little bit care too much for other at certain time so probably being brazen is his forte.”

“That reminds me of someone.”

Taemin and Kibum spent their high school days together. Separated for some years due to works and educations, their relationship’s all well maintained. They understand each other, including Kibum’s nature to always put others before him at any given situation.

“Appearance wise, though, what do you think about Jinki?”

“Choi Minho, I’m not a teenager anymore. Judging people around by its cover is no longer my habit.”

“But a designer like you must love a beautiful package, don’t they?”

“Well, to be honest, his lips and eyes itself could get me floored in one glance.”

“I knew it.”

“You’re a famous photographer for a reason.”

***

Cold wind slapped Kibum’s cheeks lightly when he pushed the door and parched to the corner near the valet post.

“Okay, now you can speak. Sorry, I don’t know why the reception wasn’t good enough inside.”

“Then I’ll be frankly here. There’s a possibility for making the special edition for the short story collection. But then, we’re still short of two stories at the moment.”

“Wait, wait, but we already have nine! I finished writing nine! Why should I add another two?”

“The publisher agreed to the preposition for at least twelve stories. You should be grateful I could pitch one less story!”

Kibum looks like he’s about to punch anyone passed within radius one meter around him, but nothing in reach besides a huge pot of short palm tree and concrete wall. And he needs his hand to finish his books still.

“But, Amber. Page wise, those are more than enough to make two new books. Are they out of their mind?”

There’s a loud groan banging on his ear drum came from the other line, “Dude, I almost flipped the table when I was at the meeting you have no idea. The board has new man and that guy is a pain in the ass.”

“Would it change the circumstance if I talked to them by myself?”

“Since when do they have time to talk to the writer directly? We’re head to head with bunch of snobs here, did you forget?”

“I should had not agree to let them touched my writings. Now we’re about to face dead end.”

It was a dream to work along this publisher. It was Kibum’s dream since he started writing when he took gap year after graduated high school. And as if it’s a fate, it was the only publisher agreed with his graphic novel concept five years he climbed his career professionally.

“Listen, Kibum. When I met you years ago, I promised I’ll work my ass hard to help you publishing your books. Not because I knew you, it’s because you’re good. You’re amazing writer and I’m not giving up easily. And neither you. Not when anybody can tell that you’re a gem.”

“I haven’t written any book since last year, Amber. I’m in a slump. Writer’s block is not even describing my bad luck at the moment.”

“Honey, you haven’t written any because you’re currently waiting two books released. And if I could do my magic, another one in, let’s say, six months.”

“If I could make up some words into another story within two weeks. If you could convince them to give me mercy.”

“Did you just know me yesterday?”

Kibum’s tired giving sane response, “What do you mean?”

“I’m waiting their secretary to call me in ten minutes. We’re going to discuss some new deals and I’ll make sure one of them is going to be your new nine stories book.”

“I actually have no idea if I don’t have you as my editor slash manager slash friend slash personal ranting partner slash whatever you want to be.”

“Rockstar. That would be cool.”

“You’re going to be a kick ass one to be honest.”

“I bet. Anyway, expect another call from me in the next couple hours. I’m sorry, but tonight we might need video call to resolve some issues.”

“I hate you for confiscating my time but you’re the best.”

“As always, ain’t I?”

The phone call ends already, but he still forlornly looking at his phone’s screen. With that, Kibum remembers all the works he needs to catch up for tonight. With that, he can put aside all the unnecessary anxiety and tension of tonight’s stupid match making session.

He took a glance of his watch and could only sighed, he better hurried inside to his dessert. The faster he finished, the sooner he can hit home and face the real deal. His deadlines.

Two steps away from the entrance however, he caught a familiar face sitting by themselves, staring to the busy street in front of the restaurant.

“Jinki?” he carefully calling the man, “Lee Jinki, right?”

The later tilted his head to the right and gave Kibum a simple smile, didn’t realize it dropped Kibum’s heart by the bottom of his gut.

“Aren’t you cold?”

Everyone would agree this winter is even harsher than last year’s. Jinki just lifted his left hand to make sure Kibum saw a cigarette slipped between his fingers, “Can I sit here?”

Jinki chuckles, “Aren’t you cold?”

Listening to the same question he threw a minute ago, he just rolled his eyes and took a place next to the other man.

“I’m waiting a phone call.”

“Important?”

“Kinda.”

Jinki blew some smoke out, “Hmm, I guess so. You sounded pretty upset over there.”

“Did I scream that loud?!”

“In my opinion? No. but a girl flinched and buzzed off rather hastily, so, you tell me.”

When he saw Kibum’s gaping like a fish in frantic expression, Jinki has no choices beside laughed again, surprising Kibum who’s quite convinced with his aloof personalities.

“I didn’t know you have so many jokes in store.”

“You learn something new every day.”

“Your face doesn’t show.”

“What about my face?”

“It’s handsome but with that attitude inside, seems like you’re the type who woke up at the wrong side of the bed every single morning and could kill someone annoys you at any time.”

“Well, to be fair, I did wake up in the wrong side of my bed this morning. But it’s because a certain dog occupied half of my blanket so I couldn’t disturb her.”

“You have a dog?!”

Kibum’s face lit up thousand times as if he just won some lottery. Strangely, it warms Jinki’s heart. No, scratch that, it would warm any heart, Jinki tried to generalize the situation.

“I don’t, unfortunately. She belongs to my friend. I’m taking care of her while he’s travelling abroad. Her father will pick her up this weekend.”

“Ah, too bad. We could have play date with my boys.”

“I’ll make sure to give you a call when I decided to adopt one later.”

“Do you think my invitation hasn’t expired yet by that time?”

“A man can only dream, can’t he?”

Kibum’s laughter is muffled by his own palm covering his mouth.

“Let’s go inside, you must be shivering.”

“But your cigarette?”

Kibum’s half stuttered caught red handed, Jinki already pressed the half-done cigarette on the sand bowl on his left, “I can always have another one at home. Besides, I doubt you would go inside without me dragging you along.”

Kibum thanked the universe that the place is not well lit, so he could hide the blush creeping his cheeks. Unfortunately, Jinki has a very good eye sight.

***

“Is my baby being a good girl when daddy’s away?”

Jinki scoffed when the man just entered his living room just literally threw his suitcase aside and scooped the little dachshund running toward his embrace. He gathered the suitcase and poor leather bag on the floor and placed it neatly near the saffron color couch.

The man later dropped himself next to Jinki who’s lounged himself there, checking his phone halfheartedly.

“Minho texted me the other day.”

“Why did he keep texting you?”

The man with dark grey hair didn’t catch the frown hanging on Jinki’s face and buried his face to the dog’s belly, making him groaned again. He lightly pushed the dog further and toppled his head on the other man’s laps.

The dog owner realized something’s happened when he’s not around. He put the dog on the ground and tapped her butt to send her back to her small bed near the pantry.

“Minho has my number and I have his name in my contact list. He can text me whenever he wants. Still jealous?”

Jinki closed his eyes when he started playing with his hair, “He’s still one of the reasons we broke up.”

“Baby, the only reason we broke up is because neither of us didn’t want to succumb into marriage. Minho was just a handsome face happened on the wrong time.”

“I have no idea why I still befriend him when it’s clear he wanted to shove his face to yours, all the damn time.”

“And I have no idea that you’re this type who holds the grudge for a long time. We were already out of relationship back then.”

“Still, a friend wouldn’t openly chase after their friend’s ex.”

“A friend wouldn’t, but a best friend would.”

“Whatever.”

He almost lost his control and slapped Jinki’s head of him, “Oh, come on. What’s bothering you this time?”

“Nothing.”

“Bullshit. It’s written all over your face the second I saw you behind the door. And I’m pretty sure it’s not because my daughter misbehaved while I’m on my annual pediatric conference.”

Jinki sighed, nothing he could really hide it from the other man. Since they were in their almost five years relationship, since they became best friends around three years prior.

“Minho invited me for a dinner night.”

“Wow, fancy,” actually Minho already texted him about the dinner a bit, how he wanted to introduce Jinki to some acquaintance he has, “He gave up on me so he went for the only option?”

“For the record, your mom agreed that I’m way much sexier than you.”

“Three years ago, before your cheek bones buried under those mount of fluffy fat.”

“Said a man who came to me and straight ahead told me I looked cute after leaving a piece of paper with their number on my table.”

“I will put aside the fact that I love how romantic you’re for still remembering our first meeting but let’s back to the right path here because I don’t like the upset you. It’s fucking annoying.”

“He introduced me to someone, Jonghyun.”

He let out inaudible gasp and thanked the universe Jinki’s still closing his eyes. Otherwise, he would stop at once and avoided any discussion of the main reason which distressed his ex-boyfriend. Knowing the scenario before hands didn’t prevent him with the sheer pain graze him when it came from Jinki’s mouth himself.

“So? Isn’t that great? Do you think it’s about time?”

“I was about to argue that two years are still not enough to get over you but I guess you’re not in the same page with me so I’d say that I’m not interested into some relationship whatsoever at this point.”

Jonghyun wanted to cry listening to such words. His heart clenched, he inhaled – a very long one – before he continued caressing Jinki’s forehead.

“I am flattered, but I know you’re just teasing me.”

“Ha, you know me so well.”

“I’m not gonna fall on the same hole, Lee.”

“You won’t. You’re too smart to repeat the torture on the loop.”

“It wasn’t a torture, Jinki. I love you as much as you do. Or maybe just slightly more.”

“Not a chance. I love you more.”

“Stop it or I will kiss you.”

“I dare you.”

“I told you I’m not gonna fall on the same hole.”

“Smart, very smart,” Jinki opened his eyes only to find Jonghyun sticking his tongue out, “Okay, so at first, I don’t like the idea already. You know I hate any type of match making method. Even the online one. But being there, I realized that my current focus doesn’t involved other party besides me, my business, and—“

“And your grandfather?”

Jinki looks annoyed, “Remind me to add ‘always-cutting-people-sentence’ on the list of reasons why I broke up with you when I’m writing my journal tonight.”

“It’s true. I think he was also the cock blocker during our relationship back then.”

“Dude, we’re talking about my gramps. And to put him on the same category with Minho is beyond weird.”

“We already broke up when Minho made his move, for Pete’s sake!”

“Okay, okay! No need to raise your voice, you’re so scary when you’re angry.”

“Then don’t make me! Now, now, can you please be a normal human being so we can talk like adults for once?”

Jinki pulled himself from the couch to the pantry, snatching a pack of cigarette on the tea table before slipped one on the corner of his mouth.

“Can you not smoking inside?”

He snorted and padded to the direction of his balcony. It’s in the middle of winter but he doesn’t care a bit to the wind ready to slaughter his bones. If tomorrow the cold prevented him to leave the bed, then let it be. For once, he just wants to free his mind from the business.

“You need to remember that I can only treat patient on certain age,” Jonghyun followed few minutes after with a blanket he spread as wide as possible to cover both of them without feeling suffocated for standing too close.

“The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends people be under pediatric care up to the age of 21, though.”

“Did you just quote Wikipedia? And we’re not in fucking States! Above and beyond, shame on your wrinkles!”

“Rude.”

“You’re the rude one to your lungs!”

“Then tell me how to ease my mind without nicotine! Tell me how to forget all those troubled night and just sleep! Do you think it’s easy taking care of worrisome business and messy family without distraction?! Stop talking non sense if you do know how to save my days!”

Any word seems taboo once Jinki exploded. Both man just staring into the dark evening below Jinki’s unit. People paraded as quickly as possible on the street to fight the harsh weather. It’s not that late, but only few cars passed by. The dim light of the street lamp’s soothing the tense atmosphere in a way.

Jonghyun leaned closer to Jinki’s arm and rested his head on his shoulder.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t help you with that.”

“I’m sorry I yelled at you.” 

“You know that you can always talk to me right?”

“I’m tired bothering you. You already have a lot in your hands.”

“Besides my patients and Roo, there’s nothing really confiscated my time.”

Having someone like Jonghyun who would stand next to him, scold him then hug him right after, no matter how awful he behaved and treated the other man, Jinki every so often thinking what kind of good deeds he did in his previous life.

Jinki cocked his head, inhaling the trace of scent of Jonghyun’s favorite shampoo. Initially, he was about to kiss the top of his head, like he used to do when the other man leaned on him for whatever reason it was. He remember, though, the earlier period after their broke up – after settling their feelings for few months of course – the shorter man told him not to do that anymore because it was the doctor’s Achilles heel. So instead, he rubs his cheek over the thick hair, silently telling Jonghyun he’s sorry.

Some nights – especially right after that dinner date – he had thought, maybe one of the reason he reprimands Minho’s idea is just because he still has tiny hope that Jonghyun and him might had another chance in the future.

“From time to time, I was thinking that the more day passed, we’re closer to the image of friends with benefit.”

“Friends with benefit? Tsk,” Jonghyun slapped his forearm, “The only benefit I got from you is you’re the only perfect nanny for Roo when I’m away.”

“Those cups of coffee every single time you stopped by my shop?”

“Pfft. How stingy. I’m leaving.”

“Heartless.”

Jonghyun didn’t say anything more and returned inside to gather his things and called Roo. He desperately needs some hot shower. Somewhere inside him, he was expecting Jinki offering him to stay the night knowing how caring the man and the fact Jinki knows he bolted to the other’s apartment right away after landed.  

When Jinki handed him the leash, that hope vanished in second.

“What if later I really considered this person? Or any other person collided with me on the future?”

Jonghyun smiled, he looks tired, but very sincere, “Then good.”

“Because I’m not gonna bother you anymore?”

“No. Because you’ll have someone to share the happiness with.”

***

cross-posted in my AFF

[dreamss-of-boston]

Rise - ch5

ahh i totally thought i posted this here earlier but i completely forgot! theres more levi in this chapter, i feel like ive been neglecting him lately haha thank u for reading! love u bye

-the discussion-

link on AO3!

A thick silence filled the room; Hange sat back, proud of herself, and of the fact that Sonya was speechless. Her jaw hung open, her gaze dropped to the table in front of her.

“Capture… one of those… things?” She said quietly.

“Yes!” Hange said. “Imagine how much we’ll learn! We might be able to dissect it, maybe even develop some kind of communication with it… the possibilities are endless!”

“We’ll need to establish an area to hold it, first.” Moblit interjected. “We can’t just keep it in the dining hall or something.”

“Obviously, we will set to work on building an area to hold the titan starting tomorrow.” Erwin said calmly, taking a sip from his tea. “We should take all necessary precautions, and then some.”

While the officers sat and discussed the matter nonchalantly, Sonya was thrown into a state of panic and anger. How dare they? How dare they think that they could capture a titan and treat it as if it were something fascinating, something valuable to learn from? How dare they even give it the respect of a caged dog? Capturing a titan was too humane, in Sonya’s eyes. While the officers seemed to be relatively unbothered-- rather, quite excited-- at the prospect of capturing a titan, Sonya couldn't believe what she was hearing. How could they open the gates to their home, and willingly usher in evil? All she could think of was how easily Anna’s body was ripped in two, as if she were a stale piece of bread…

“Sonya.”

Levi’s voice beside her brought her up to the surface. Sonya’s breath hitched as she turned to look at him-- he was gazing at her intently, studying her, while the rest of the officers chattered on.

“Sorry.” She said instinctively, rubbing her forehead. No-- she shouldn’t be sorry. She needed to speak up for Anna.

Sonya set her jaw, and lifted her chin bravely to glare straight at Erwin. “Commander,” She said.

Erwin and the others stopped speaking politely, and turned to Sonya.

“Yes?” Erwin said.

“I don’t think this is right. At all.” Sonya was incredibly tense, but she needed to keep her composure in order to get her point across. “I think capturing a titan is too humane. Those… those monsters have killed so many of our comrades, and you want to-- to chain one up and hold a magnifying glass up to its eye to see if it blinks?”

“Now that I think of it, I’ve never seen one blink…” Hange muttered under her breath.

Sonya huffed in annoyance. “Not only is it wrong morally, but lawfully-- I mean, isn’t that violating of one of those treaties, or whatever they’re called? Isn’t it illegal to do anything that puts humanity at risk? Wouldn’t you agree that capturing a titan, bringing it here, where there’s thousands of humans…” Sonya had to take a deep breath. Her voice was getting louder, and she was visibly becoming more upset. After a moment, she continued. “I just don't think it's wise to capture a titan with our present set of tools. We should advance our own technology or something, maybe make specialized equipment before we jump into a situation like this.”

Erwin sat, gazing at the table thoughtfully in silence. The rest of the officers looked rather stoic, processing all of what Sonya said. Timidly, she glanced at Levi out of the corner of her eye, because she found that she cared what he thought. To her irritation, he looked neutral as ever, not betraying a single emotion.

“You may be right.” Erwin finally said. Sonya didn't hide her surprise in her face, as she stared incredulously at her fair-haired commander. “This is a gamble. Not only will securing the titan in a safe place be challenging, but the act alone of capturing a titan will be an incredible feat, requiring large amounts of skill.” He folded his hands, perching them under his chin. “However, the only way we have made any progress in the past was by taking risks. By gambling. The modern navigating system we use today with our flares outside the walls was once a gamble-- and while the risk we took still resulted in multiple casualties,” He glanced for a moment at Levi, “ultimately, it paid off.” Levi stared at Erwin for a moment, and Sonya wondered what the unspoken line of communication was.

Erwin rose, placing his hands on the table. “It was smart of you to think of the lawful implications of what we are doing-- for once, we cannot move under the noses of the Military Police or the Noblemen, as the attention on the Survey Corps has been heightened due to our higher than normal mortality rate recently. Therefore,” He looked up, and hooked Sonya with his piercing stare. “I am assigning you to visit the Capitol with me, Hange, Levi, and Moblit to submit our formal proposal to the parliament.”

“Wh-- huh?” Sonya said, completely blind-sided. “Why?”

“It will be beneficial to have your viewpoint coming from our side-- a new recruit who doesn't agree with us.” Erwin said matter-of-factly.

“The Military Police will love you.” Eld said with a smirk.

Sonya sat, left with her mouth gaping for the second time that night.

“Well! That settles it.” Hange said with a smile. “I’m starving-- let’s go to dinner!”

And before she knew it, the officers were up and exiting the little kitchen, chatting about this and that as if a serious discussion hadn’t just taken place.

“Are you gonna sit there with your mouth open the whole night?” Levi asked irritably, nudging her arm as he stood up, taking a last swig of his tea.

Sonya jumped a little, becoming irritated with herself that she had been caught off-guard too much recently. With a sigh, she stood, joining the Captain in the hallway leading to the dining area. She wasn’t feeling very hungry after the discussion she had stumbled upon; all she really wanted to do was curl up under about a million blankets and sleep for a few days.

“Sonya,” Levi said quietly, stopping her in her tracks. Sonya turned to see Levi staring out of the window to their right, looking at nothing in particular. The setting sun cast that same golden hue from the day before, when she had heard him say her first name for the first time. “Think what you want. Trust your gut-- it might not always be right, but in the end, the most valuable thing is that you decide for yourself how to think and what to do. However,” with a huff, he crossed his arms. “When it comes to Erwin or Hange… you can trust them, too.”

Sonya didn’t say anything; she simply took in the sight of the man considered to be the most skilled killer in all of humanity. He stood before her with such ease, and he spoke with such assurance-- while Captain Levi was rightly recognized as terrifying and cruel, Sonya had seen nothing but compassion recently. She liked having small moments with the Captain-- it made her feel less alone.

“I’ll trust them,” she said finally, “because I trust you.”

That caused Levi to hook her gaze with his own, and for a fleeting moment, Sonya thought she saw-- was that gratitude? While holding eye contact with the dark-haired man was intimidating more than anything, she felt like it was the most natural thing in the world; she could do this for hours.

Before she got completely lost in the moment, Sonya remembered what she had bought in town.

“Oh! Levi-- erm, Captain.” She quickly corrected herself, smiling nervously as she reached in her bag, pulling out a white handkerchief. “I saw this in town; thought you might need a new one.”

Levi looked down in surprise, staring at the piece of cloth. Sonya couldn’t believe she had surprised him with nothing more than a handkerchief, and when his gaze shot back up to meet hers, she saw that he looked confused more than anything. Did he really forget what had happened yesterday?

Her green eyes held his dark grey ones for quite some time-- neither was sure how to break this interaction off, but neither of them really wanted it to end. She felt her insides coil tighter the longer they held eye contact, and finally, she looked away with a nervous laugh and a dopey smile.

“Well, anyway, I hope you like it.” Sonya wasn’t sure what to do with the handkerchief, but paused, and decided to do a very Herschel-like thing. Why? Just for the fun of it, she reasoned.

Sonya reached down, bravely grabbed Levi’s hand, and placed the handkerchief in his grasp, slowly folding his fingers over the cloth. She looked him in the eyes once again, and found that once her gaze met his, he raised his eyebrow ever so slightly. Was that… a challenge? For her to do something more? She felt a warmth begin to spread from her gut, blossoming throughout her nerves. Sonya was a coward; she gave him a little smile-- and before he could say or do anything, she swished down the hallway fast enough so that he didn’t see her blush and smile even wider to herself.

[-]

“I think it's amazing!” Ada Klaufman exclaimed, rubbing the window in front of her with vigor.

Sonya, Ada, and Mabel Schmidt were assigned with cleaning the west of HQ's windows for the start of the afternoon. Their morning had started with breakfast, and then they were summoned to the courtyard for an announcement from Commander Erwin. The soldiers had chattered amongst themselves about what the meeting could possibly be about, while Sonya knew with a sort of sense of dread.

The night before, she had been trying to convince herself to come around to the idea of capturing and aiding in the keeping of a titan, but each time she thought of the grotesque lips masking dangerous teeth, the stench of rot steaming from their hollow bodies, the dead, hungry eyes…

She could feel nothing but rage for titans at the moment. In some rational part of her mind, Sonya was thinking that capturing a titan would be a means to an end: a relatively small action taken to ensure the safety and survival of mankind. If they had a titan within arms reach and were able to study it and take it apart, surely they could learn some sort of new information about them. She knew that, in some way-- but for now, she was choosing not to accept it.

Outwardly, though, Sonya chose to display herself as neutral. That tactic had saved her many times in the past, as she had never gotten on anyone’s bad side. So, as Erwin gave the announcement of the upcoming expedition to the soldiers in the courtyard, she kept her face as stoic as possible while the soldiers around her visibly reacted, either murmuring their doubts or declaring their pride. The conversations and debates about the upcoming expedition spread among the soldiers, and it was all anyone seemed to be talking about.

And, as Sonya, Mabel, and Ada cleaned the windows, they took part in the conversation as well.

“I think we should be careful.” Mabel said while she scrubbed at her own window pane. “If we get too hasty, who knows what could happen?”

“Well, worst case scenario is the titan breaks free and eats everyone, then somehow finds a way to open the gate and then let all of his friends in.” Sonya joked-- but Mabel and Ada didn’t laugh. In fact, they stopped their actions cold to look at Sonya as if she were insane.

Ada coughed to clear the tension. “Uh… Hey, Sonya, I heard Captain Levi gave you the day off yesterday?”

“Yeah,” Sonya smiled. “I went into town and I got this.” She gestured to the red ribbon currently securing her chestnut curly hair in a bun. Despite how tightly she put her hair up at the beginning of every day, it always found ways to slowly poke out and around her head, giving the skilled soldier an heir of constant messiness. Which, given the state of her living quarters, wasn’t an entirely false look.

“It’s pretty.” Mabel smiled, and shot a playful look at Ada. “Ada was just asking because she’s madly in love with the Captain.”

Sonya involuntarily let out a loud laugh.

“What?!” Ada almost shrieked, gripping her cleaning rag with ferocity. “I told you never to tell anyone!”

“Sorry!” Mabel laughed. “I just thought Sonya ought to know, so that she doesn’t put the moves on your man.”

“I don’t think anybody can succeed in putting any moves on Levi.” Sonya laughed. “He wouldn’t know how to respond to anything!”

“I bet Ada would know how to seduce him-- she’s probably imagined it a million times.” Mabel grinned.

“Shut up, shut up, shut up.” Ada was now hiding her face in her hands, the only thing visible being her strawberry blonde hair in two braids.

“Your ears are as red as your hair!” Sonya could barely hold it together, seeing Ada in such a state.

“Tell us, Ada, how would you woo the Captain?” Mabel put the back of her hand on her forehead dramatically, and leaned into the stone wall of HQ. “Ohh, he’s so strong! I have the perfect wooden box for him to stand on so that he could kiss me!”

“He's not that short!” Ada protested, putting her hands on her hips, thus exposing her cherry red face to the delight of Sonya and Mabel.

“Oh, Captain Levi!” Sonya joined in, and dropped her rag on the floor. “I seem to have dropped my towel…” and she leaned down, legs straight, arching her back to stick her ass out suggestively in front of Ada while she retrieved her rag. Mabel was currently on the floor in hysterics, but not just because of Sonya’s antics.

“Ahem.”

Right behind Ada was the one and only Captain Levi, with a perfect view of… everything Sonya and Mabel were doing.

Sonya, of course, couldn't recognize the Captain based on the clearing of his throat alone, but she had a pretty good guess of just who was behind her, because the universe really loved fucking her over lately. She held her breath, and slowly stood up, suddenly feeling very small. Mabel's stifled laughter was the only sound in the hallway as Sonya turned around to face the Captain, who, she was surprised to find, looked painfully bored.

“Are you brats finished?” He sighed.

“Yes.” Sonya mumbled.

“Really?” He raised an eyebrow, and turned to peer out the window. “I can hardly see through clearly.”

Mabel groaned, grimacing as she glared up at the ceiling.

“S-sorry, sir.” Ada said timidly. “We'll get right on it.”

Levi glanced at Ada, who shrunk under his stare. “Don't be a dumbass,” he said, turning to look at Sonya, “and drop your rag on the floor. It can't be good for the windows.”

“You're right, sir.” Sonya sighed-- he would not call her a dumbass and get away with it. “I have just the solution!” She exclaimed proudly, and right as she said that, she could tell that Levi had already guessed what she would say next, as he shifted from bored to straight up miffed. “Want me to spit on it?”