#oh louis louis who are you trying to kid?

[sophsun1]

Interview With The Vampire + Season 2

[dilf-docs]

Call It What You Want

husband!pedro pascal x younger!reader

summary: you and pedro are married, but you've kept it a secret up to the point you sometimes forget there's supposed to be a golden band on your finger. but then you both get cast in your first movie together. the chemistry is off the charts, and it starts to catch upon you: will the lines between shipping and reality finally blur?

warnings: 18+ (minors dni), age gap (ñom), smut, dry humping, oral (m. receiving) while pedro wears the skirt™️ (welcome to another episode of the writer's barely disguised fetish), p. in v., teeny bit of angst because i malfunction if i don't bring sad vibes to the function, the worst ever attempt of comedy witnessed by human kind, they're so down bad it hurts, jealous!reader, possesive!pedro, reader speaks spanish and may or may not have direct/indirect latino blood somewhere, use of spanglish but no translations ☹️ (boo go do your homework, citizens. that's what u get for making my dieter bravo fic flop BYE), i transcripted two real interviews for this so keep those likes, reblogs and comments up in the air where i can see 'em 🪓🪓

word count: 11,706 words

side note: hello! this is me, sliding my cv to become president of the pedro pascal fics. i'm kidding, just on duty to fulfill another request 🫡 believe it or not, i envisioned something like this but for myself IJBOL we have to keep the delusional levels UP!! i hope this meets ur expectations, it was fun to write :)

"Please welcome, the internet's newest darling, Y/n L/n!"

You walk into the set, cameras flashing bright and the band playing on the back. You hug Jimmy Fallon, and when he notices your body trembling he tells you everything will be alright. So did your manager before you stepped inside, but you can't help the nerves. You've never been this big before, and now it's all coming down together without letting you breath.

You take your seat and so does Jimmy.

"Hello, Y/n. This is your first time here, right?"

"Am I being too obvious?" you snort. The crowd laughs with you.

"Don't worry. It happens, especially when you're so young"

"Oh, please" you blush. "I can promise you there are kid actors who could handle this better than I am right now"

"Kid stars?" he lets out one of his famous cackles. "No need to be humble. You are great! Let's just talk about the year you've had: big breakout roles, ascend to fame, you're rocking it!" the crowd cheers, and you again turn into a flustered mess.

"Yeah, I suppose. It's hard to dimension when you've started as an extra for popular shows, to now being, you know, the main face of projects. But I could get used to it" you smile, "it's been a dream. I still can't believe it sometimes, look- I'm shaking"

The camera pans closer to the hand you're showing to Jimmy.

"Oh my God, even big stars like you get nervous"

"Big star? I wish I could feel like a constellation. I'm feeling more like a red dwarf star, baby"

The whole place bubbles in laughter. You feel better, your manager even giving you a thumbs up from behind the cameras.

"So, Y/n" Jimmy says once the laughter dies. "You just got casted in the upcoming Gladiator II movie, directed by Ridley Scott. How does it feel to be on your first big movie, alongside names like Paul Mescal, Denzel Washington and Pedro Pascal?"

You try to steady your heartbeat. "First of all, I have to say, it's such an honor to work with Scott. I grew up watching his movies. Like, Thelma and Louis is definitely my go-to movie. So, like, getting paired with such a talented cast is as awesome as terrifying" you answer with a laugh.

"Talking about that, you see" he leans closer, like he'll tell a secret. "I've heard things about you and a certain future co-star of yours"

You shift your position on the couch, your ring(less) finger itching. You have to avoid breathing in relief when Jimmy pulls out a picture.

"Oh. My. God"

He stiffles a laugh. No way. Has the room's temperature suddenly gotten hotter? Why is your face burning?

"Will you tell us the story behind this?" he asks, the camera focusing on the picture in question. The audience laughs, and you pray to God this is a nightmare, because it's too much embarrasment for a human to bear.

"Okay" you clear your throat, coughing awkwardly. "For my 25th birthday, I uploaded a bunch of pictures on Instagram, including ones where I was a teenager" you begin to giggle, "So. Um, there was this one, you see, that's, me, in my childhood home's bedroom, and my fans were quick to notice the poster above my bed"

"You mean, this one?" and Jimmy points it out. You cover your face with your palms. "It's a... Narcos poster" the audience laughs as you get redder. "A Pedro Pascal's Narcos poster"

"I know" you groan. "Picture this: me 18, and while my friends had posters of their favorite bands and artists, I was so different because I had a whole ass poster of a crime drama show about the world's most famous drug dealer on my bedroom" you recall with a laugh. "It was hard to explain to my mom. I believe she thought I wanted to sign for the DEA or something. When I told her I was going to be an actress, she was so relieved! She said: Oh, well. You'll die, but of hunger! Not a bullet in your head, at least"

"Oh. I'm so sorry. You proved her wrong though!"

"I did! Don't worry, Jimmy. She's my biggest fan now" you look at a specific camera before saying, "Te amo mami!"

"I see you speak spanish. I sometimes forget" he comments. "You've got one thing in common with Pedro, it seems. Think that'll make working with him less awkward?"

"I just hope he forgives me or I'm capable of moving out of the country and changing names" you giggle. "Pedro, lo siento!"

"Well, that's Y/n L/n, everyone! Pedro Pascal's number one fan" you burst out laughing in shame. "More on her lastest movie after the break"

mandoshoney: tell me i'm not the only one who started shipping pedro pascal and y/n l/n PLEASE can't wait to get content of them interacting ㅤㅤann-gell: mandoshoney y/n's pedro pascal's controversially young gf era starts now! i wonder how the press tour for #gladiatorII will go 🤔 unhing3dprincess: i bet my grandma they are dating ㅤㅤstarlightt180: unhing3dprincess ptwt can never tweet like normal ppl…wdym you're betting your grandma?!!!?

You were never a fan of secrets.

But then Pedro waltzed into your life with his charming smile and iconic mustache, and before you knew it, you had married him off in some church in California one random sunday morning ("I love you so much, can't wait to marry you, cariño" "If you can't wait any longer, why not now?")

Flash forward, four years later, and you'd think such event would be plastered all over the internet. But there is a reason why only you, family, a selected number of friends and your agents knew: you kept it a secret.

To the world, he was Chile's most elegible bachelor and you were a young rising star. The public loved both of you for the same reasons: charming persona and acting skills. Yet inside the privacy of your home, he was Pedro and you were y/n, wife and husband; he was yours as you were his.

And of course, no marriage is perfect, and your first real challenge is rather funny: you both get casted in your first movie together.

It shouldn't be hard, but it is. Being inside the Gladiator II set during seven months, so far away yet so close at the same time, was torture. You were Rome's empress and he's Marcus Acacius, yet behind the scenes, the actual married couple were you both.

It was hard to pretend you didn't know what he looked like without clothes when he wore his bathing suit, or that you didn't know his favorite food when Paul asked, or acting like you weren't interested in dating when a local in Malta during your trip at the beach asked you out (he didn't know who you were. You were flattered when he called you pretty in such a hot European accent, but then Pedro appeared from seemingly "nowhere" and you remembered what your real favorite accent was. He immediately called you bonita after that)

It was so hard to keep hands to yourself when he walked by you, covered in fake blood. To not think about licking it all over and under his armour. So was to pretend the thought of dry humping him with his Roman skirt on wasn't tempting. Or that the urge to kiss him got harder and harder to fight each passing day, even getting to a point where you would envy Connie for being able to kiss your husband in the open more, a privilege you didn't have.

You were loosing your mental health here. But Pedro was no better.

It was so hard to see you, the Moroccan sun shining over your features like you were an angel. Otherworldly. That he'd see red when you'd finish filming a scene with Joseph, forcing himself to interrupt the small chat you'd engage in after. He too couldn't keep pretending he didn't want to tear off those silk dresses out of your body, and kiss you out in the open like Joseph did.

He almost failed once, cornering you in the hallway of the hotel you were staying. His hot breath lingered on your neck. I miss you, he had said. You felt his hard brush the inner of your thigh. We can't, you whispered in a dragged out voice.

It was hard.

So you gave him your used panties, and you swear you could hear him jacking off in the bathroom of his room, next to yours. He'd screamed your name, and your hand had found it's way to your dripping cunt, doing what he was supposed to do; touching you the way he did. And you came, drowned out moans against your pillow. But it wasn't like when he did it.

But God has heard your prayers.

For the first time in weeks, you're lucky. You find Pedro sitting alone in the cafeteria, his phone in hand. He's still wearing his armour and skirt, not bothering to change for the break. You aren't God's strongest soldier, but you're trying not to go down on him so badly right here and now.

"Hey" he raises his head when he hears your voice, smile adoringly. It only grows wider when he notices you alone. "Thought you'd never get rid of Paul. He's like, stitched to you"

"Same can be said about you and Joseph" you sit across him, and despite most of his tone being playful, there are still hints of jealousy behind. It arouses you deeply, and with this hot summer day above you, your skin isn't the only thing that's getting sticky.

"In case you haven't read the script, I'm his wife" you wink. "Sorry this is how you find out"

He laughs loudly, and God, how have you missed that laugh. Sure, it's been there when you've been out with the cast together, but it doesn't tingle your chest as when you're the cause of it; it feels like it's for you only, and that's what makes it special.

"I miss you so much" he whispers, his hand sliding across the table, finding yours. His thumb carresses your soft palm, and you melt under Pedro's tender touch.

"I do too" you sigh, but it's instantly replaced by what could only be described as a smug face. You lean closer, whispering on his ear, the warm meeting cold. He shivers. "Wanna know something?"

"I'm all ears"

"I just came back from walking. Guess what?No one is 'round here" you lean back against your chair, shit-eating grin on your face as all his body tenses up. "Made sure of it. The trailer zone is empty too"

Pedro gulps, his adam's apple bobbing as his eyes look at you.

"Y/n" calling your name as a warning.

"What? Can't a girl find ways to have her husband all for herself?" you snort. "Please say yes" you let go of his hand, but the free fingers now travel across his broad chest, taunting him. "C'mon, we both deserve a break"

He can't say deny you anything, can he? You know it, he knows it.

Before you register, his big hand engulfs yours as you run across the set. You giggle at his rushed steps, even more when you stand before his trailer and he's fumbling his slippery hands with the doorknob, sloppy movements erratic.

"But you told me to stop" you tease, and he doesn't even let you add more because he's pushing you inside, forcing you with rough calloused hands to a chair and then you to sit over his lap.

"Fuck, babygirl. I've spoiled you way too much" he groans against your lips. "Lo sabes, ¿verdad? Just can't say no to you"

Your eyes darken dangerously, the hunger on them mirroring his own.

"How could you ever say no to this?"

You press your chest against his broad one as your lip bites into his lower one, teasing. Pedro feels his underwear getting tighter when your tongue finds its way inside his mouth, even getting a glimpse of the taste of the strawberries you had earlier before.

He deepens the kiss, and when you pull away to catch your breath, he doesn't waste his lonely mouth and busies himself with the task of kissing your sun-kissed neck, licking and pressing his lips under your jaw. Pedro goes even lower, down until he's reached your collarbone, making you groan a bit under his wet sloppy needy mouth. He's enjoying how putty you are under his intense kissing, fingers in his curls, that have begun to damp under the ablaze of the small space and pleasure that fills the air.

"Kiss me again in my lips" you whine after a while of him teasing you with kisses that get only rougher. "Pretty please, papi"

You cup his face in your hands, and Pedro's back to kissing you in the mouth, tasting all of your insides as he hasn't had in what feels like a lifetime.

"Of course, baby. Missed this pretty mouth" he mumbles in between hot kisses, his now growing boner pressing into you.

"Baby" you giggle. The skirt he's got on may hide it, but your fingers refused to wait, pulling it up. His bulge presses against the shorts he's got under the skirt, and you can feel your pussy and mouth drool. "We have to do something about this big boy" your hands pull down the short, leaving just his underwear on. He's about to remove the skirt, but your demanding hands stops him. "This stays"

His brown concerned eyes make you laugh, but you don't give him time to think about it, rather grinding against his erection. Pedro's breath hitches when he feels your daring movements, bucking his hips against yours.

The friction is addicting, and he captures your lips once again to make you feel what he can't with words: how fucking good this feels.

You keep moving over his aching dick. Your husband throws his head back, groaning in pleasure at the way your hips move against him, knowingly. His hands find their way to your ass under the flowy almost translucent skirt you chose to change in, gripping the rosy skin tightly, hands almost covering all of it.

"You wore this for me, right, cariño? Knew I couldn't say no" he groans, firm hands on your cheeks, the grinding meeting his hips now harsher. "Less with you walking around with this slutty skirt of yours"

You make little sounds he's obssesed with, dripping out of your filthy mouth.

"Fuck" Pedro groans after a while, "I need to have you, mami. Missed you so much" eager fingers make it to your top. He growls, deep within him―guttural, ready to pull it off as he mumbles naughty wife when he realizes you got no bra on, chastising you for a "rushed" plan that seemed planned all along, when a sound cuts through the air.

You both stop.

The sound gets clearer.

It's a knock. A knock at his door.

A knock in Pedro's trailer.

And you are inside. Both.

While you're grinding him.

With his skirt on.

(It's time to build a bomb and kill yourselves off and whoever is stading behind that door)

"Pedro!" a familiar accent calls. Peudrou. It's Paul. "Hey, man. Just wondering if you are here"

He's debating on speaking up when he sees your red face and rising-falling chest before him.

"Answer" you whisper breathlessly. He tries not to groan when he fills you slip out of the spot in his middle while also trying not to think about murdering Paul as soon as he gets out.

Aside from the order, you're unexpectedly quiet, and Pedro quirks an eyebrow at you. He knows you better―you're his wife after all, and if there's something he's aware of, is your inability to loose.

"I'm here" tone clipped and annoyed. But no footsteps backtracking are heard: the Irish man is still there.

You bite your lip, watching the skirt with his legs spread, a sight too tempting. Also, he was still hard, as hard as the task to not go and keep doing your job.

Oh, fuck this shit.

Your devilish hand equals the grin in your face, fingers making their way toward his unattended bulge.

"What are you doing here?" Paul asks, but Pedro's attention has completely deviated, now focused on how they land right over his clothed dick, skirt pulled up by your other hand. "I thought you were at the cafeteria"

"Yeah?" but it comes out strained, yet the younger man doesn't notice or comment.

His hips raise when your fingers press his member, massaging it.

"Yeah" he uses a tone that equals a duh. "You texted me yourself"

Pedro rolls his eyes, wishing desperately he would go away, annoying him just as much as a fly hovering above fresh food. Talking about food, fuck, weren't you hungry? He tried to warn you, holding your wrist, but all resolve was lost the moment you looked in his eyes: he immediately pulled down his briefs, dick sprouting hard.

"Well, changed my mind" his tone falters in between words, member now free from the confines of his tight underwear.

"Are you tired, man? You sound tired" Paul comments on his tone. "Came to rest?"

You spit on your hand, and he gulps.

"Somethin' like that"

You start to jerk him off, leaving little wet kisses and licks just above his dick. Pedro's eyes are hypnotized, glued to every lick of yours across his girth, the spit making your movements smoother. Sexier. Fuck.

"Well, sorry to break it to you but rest time is over. They want us back on set now"

Your tight needy lips are wrapped around his his length and it's so hard to keep the talk normal when he justs wants to yell at Paul to fuck off. Your hand is there too; you are as of help as much as you aren't.

"I'll be there, Paul, just―Fuck!"

But his attempt to cover a moan doesn't go unnoticed.

"Are you alright in there?" he tries to enter, but Pedro locked the door. He's yelling he's fine, but Mescal doesn't sound convinced. "I can't go inside; it's locked. Are you sure you are okay, mate?"

"Didn't want you to take a picture of me drooling on my sleep" he manages to get out in a monotone voice. A real win if you take into account you've gotten to a point where you squeeze under his cock, massaging his balls.

"Smart move!" he chuckles from outside. "I guess I'll see you there"

Pedro covers a moan with his palm as he's throwing his head back in pleasure. He can feel his orgams looming over, minstrations growing sloppier around his pulsating cock, the need to fill your greedy evil mouth with his seed making him sick. He's a simple man: he just wants his pretty wife to fuck his cock silly and come in her mouth in peace. Is that so hard to get this days?

Paul seems to be finally gone as Pedro can't keep containing his grunts anymore, steps moving: until said steps sound closer again.

"Oh, I almost forgot, have you seen Y/n? I can't find her anywhere" it's coming. His orgasm is coming in the absolute worst moment. He can feel you gagging at his hard rock cock, hitting the back of your throat now. Still, your hands don't loose their grip on his cock and skirt, determination filling that sexy little body of yours. It was rather admirable the effort you were putting in this. "Think she went to the beach? She said she loved it. God, that little rebel. Anyway, if you see her, tell her-"

He leans his head back once again, seeing stars. No one knows him like his wife, truly.

The sight of you drooling from your chin, the wet sounds of him fucking himself onto your mouth as your spit-coated fingers pump his girth, you gulping down the precum from his tip, his fingers holding your face roughly by the cheeks...

"Yes, Paul, yes!" Pedro barks, barely hiding the moan that erupts from his ribcage, thick shots of his hot cum hitting your tongue and deep of the throath. "Fuck off and let me get ready"

"Jesus, mate, chill. I'm sorry. See you there"

And Paul Mescal's hovering fly ass is finally gone.

"Poor Paul" you say as soon as you pull off his length, voice raspy as you huff for air. Pedro lovingly cleans rests of your saliva and his cum from your chin as he chuckles at how much audacity, courage and horniness could fit in such a small young body. "You've ruined the friendship"

"You think?" he licks off some as you sit on his lap again, tongue directly on your face. You feel aroused again, but time's up. "It's your fault. That and this"

He points down.

"Just as you used that pretty head of yours to think of the trouble you just made, think of an excuse for Mr. Ridley about the skirt"

at0michips: wait wdym paul is sick??? ㅤㅤl-u-n-a-m: at0michips he's died vnightx: i'm wondering who'll do now the do you even know me interview with pedro now :( i was so excited!!! hope they don't cancel it :( ㅤㅤunhing3dprincess: vnightx i bet my grandma it's y/n ㅤㅤat0michips: unhing3dprincess why do u keep betting ur grandma omg 😭😭😭

"You know what I think would be fun?" Pedro comments while you wait for the interview's set to be prepared.

Tour press has finally begun. That meant you could go home for a while after the filming wrapped, just to be back for the promotion of the film. You were excited of course, the experience new and thrilling. After much needed battery recharging and husband/wife time, you were ready to take over the world.

But then Paul got sick.

Today's interview was scheduled to be him and Pedro, but since he was unavailable, they paired him with you, since you both spoke Spanish (which felt slightly racist in your opinion), and because Fred and Joseph were already paired up for the other.

You leave your coffee, knowing he's about to say something stupid or endearing, perhaps both, brown liquid probably spilling out of your mouth. Or worst, nostrils.

"Tell me"

"What if we left little hints that we're together?" his smile is one of mischief. "Like you could wear my cap, or I could wear a chain with your initial around my neck, like Ryan Gosling did at the Barbie premiere"

"Or as Taylor Swift sang" you counter. "But Pedro, dear, you're underestimating our fans. You don't think they'll match it sooner than we think?"

"Maybe" he agrees. That's just what I want. "What's funny is we're about to do a type of interview where we could blow our cover"

"Maybe" you repeat, "or maybe you don't know all about me as much as you think, Mr. Pascal"

He fake gasps, feigning hurt. "Is this a dare, Mrs. Pascal?"

"No" you try to be mature for once, cutting the banter as much as you'd like to go on and kiss him right there. "Also, remember to answer incorrectly sometimes, you know..."

"There's no way I'm letting you win though"

"Pedro, no seas necio!"

The producers arrive just in time to let you know it's ready.

"After M'lady" he's back to being charming as he is, not as husband charming but just Pedro Pascal charming. The nerve of this guy to do it in front of the LADbible crew.

"Whatever" you grumble, the nerves getting the best of you as you realize this interview may or may not give away more than you've been allowed before.

"Hello, I am Y/n L/n" you present yourself. Wow, the camera is really close. This isn't going to end well.

"And I'm Pedro Pascal"

Hearing his voice soothes you. It's okay, y/n, you got this. "And this is Do You Really Know Me- No wait, it's do you even know me. Okay, let's start again: Hello, I'm Y/n and this is-"

"I don't even know anymore" Pedro jokes, making you laugh. "Do you even know me?" he asks while looking forward, now making the crew laugh.

"This is Pedro Pascal, that'll do" you sigh.

"This is gonna be sad, she's not going to know any of these" he says, but in reality, he's mocking you, the mischief in his eyes glowing as he only looks at you tauntingly.

"Same can be said about you" you tease, "we're like a million years away"

"That's not true!" he gasps, "I watch your every move" punctuating each word. God, you try not to make a face. "I have Google alerts on you"

If he was gonna play, so were you.

"Glad to know I have you alerted" with the sweetest voice ever, seeing how his friendly façade falters for a bit at the tone you've used. You laugh, and Pedro takes the chance to laugh it off too.

After the introduction, they ask one of you to keep score, and you offer yourself because, well, you don't trust Pedro.

"I'll go first" you say. "Which was my first ever role in the industry? As an extra during an episode of Stranger Things, as a voice actor in A dog's purpose" you can't help but laugh, "or as a back-up dancer in Hustlers?"

"In Hustlers?" Pedro inquires in disbelief. "You're telling me you were in Hustlers?! I didn't even know you could dance!"

Lies. You and Pedro sometimes put some bachata and dance in the kitchen. God bless Juan Luis Guerra.

"Jennifer Lopez and I are practically besties" you answer nonchalant.

You know the answer. He does too. But he chooses the last one for comedic purposes.

"I'll go with Hustlers. Now that I'm looking at you, you do have a... dancer face"

"It's okay, you can say the forbidden word. I'll take it as a compliment" you laugh, "you're wrong, though. The answer is Stranger Things"

"No way!" and it sounds as if he genuinely didn't know. Good lying son of a bitch; Jim Carrey on Liar, Liar would've been proud.

"Yes. If you look in the background of season two, on this one episode where Nancy and Steve appear to have broken up during a halloween party, you can see me drinking from a cup on a corner"

"That's so crazy"

"Yeah, I was twenty already, yet playing a highschooler" you giggle. "Wow, time flies by. Anyway, we're both at zero. Your turn"

"What film did my dad not let me see at the cinema when I was, uh, ten years old?" Pedro reads from his card. "Rambo: first blood, The Breakfast Club, Day of The Dead"

"I'm going to base this in the year you were born. Okay, so 1975. Let's see" one of the things Pedro loves about you is that you're like a film encyclopedia, but right now, that'll cost him a point. "They all came out the same year, and they were also R rated. Hmmh, I'll choose The Breakfast Club"

Your analysis was just mindless bragging really. You knew the answer the moment he started reading the question, because the anecdote came during a time he heard you listening to the movie's soundtrack ("Did you know that my dad...")

"You complain about Paul all the time, but you're just the same" he comments. "She's a real competitor, people!"

You flush in embarrasment. "Okay, that's one for me. Next question" you read the card in your hands. "What pet do I own? An orange cat named Louis after my favorite singer, a fish, or a Shih Tzu named after my brother"

The orange cat lives with you both. You're curious as to how he'll answer.

"You aren't naming a Shih Tzu frickin' Fernando" he laughs, so loud, it ends up catching up to you and the crew. "I'll go with the cat"

"That's correct" you lament. "How would you know?"

As if the damn cat doesn't love him more than he loves you.

"I follow you on Instagram" he defends himself. Clever. "We are, um, what do you call it-"

"Oomfs"

"I'm not gonna try to pronounce your made up language. Okay, my turn. Which of these characters I've played in Saturday Night Live? Naughty daddy, protective mom, or weird uncle who has a creepy sneeze" he reads out loud in a confused tone.

This is easy. It was all over your timeline.

"Protective mom" you answer on a beat.

"This isn't fair, that was really popular!" he complains.

"It's still two for me and one for you" you mock. "Now, what is the nickname the internet has given me? I won't give you clues because it's an easy one"

"Easy? You said we were million of years apart and now I'm supposed to know?"

"Well, you seem to manage Instagram so I think you'll be just fine" you tease, and Pedro just wants to rip that smirk off of you. So he caves in first.

"It's people's princess"

"What?!" your eyes grow comically large, shimmering with betrayal as you shout with an incredulous tone. "I can't believe you know" more like can't believe you said it.

"You're royalty! How am I supposed to not know that, internet darling? Besides, told you: I keep my eye on you" and he winks.

This motherfucker. Oh, he's totally sleeping on the couch tonight.

"Talk about internet darlings" your snarky tone comes out, and Pedro knows he's pissed his competitive wife off. "I guess we have a tie. Your turn"

"What are the initials of my full name?" his brows furrow. "I forget. JBPP, JPBP, JBPP"

"José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal" you recite. "B, of course"

"But that's too easy, everyone with Google knows it!" but then he's leaning into your ear, whispering in a very low voice to make sure only you hear. "I'll let it pass, though. Love hearing you pronounce my name, mami"

Your face grows obscenely red. "I'm back ahead. Let's see if you can keep up. Okay, here it goes" you read the card, "what is the director I've stated I want to work with? Greta Gerwig, Pedro Almodóvar, or Quentin Tarantino"

"Pedro Almodóvar, no? You said you were jealous I had already worked with him" he playfully nudges you. Too much contact, face hot again. Maybe in group interviews you'll do better, because right now, you're doing a rather poor job at controlling yourself, even as an actor; you can already picture your agent pulling her hair behind the cameras.

"It's Greta Gerwig, actually"

"What?! No way, you told me this!" he grumbles. "This game is rigged"

"Don't get me wrong, I'm still jealous. I just think working with Greta Gerwig is peak womanhood, and I gotta live that. So, Greta, if for some reason this silly video gets to you, call me. I promise I'm not that childish"

"She is" Pedro slips in, "don't call her. So unprofessional" in a mocking exaggerated tone.

"Whatever, you sore looser. Me three, you two. Next!"

"Fine. Which of these songs would I have played at my funeral? My Heart Will Go On, Purple Rain, Nothing Compares To You"

He looks at you, silently pleading you to not answer correctly. Your competitive side screams in agony.

"I have no idea. Why do I feel you've already said it somewhere, though? I'll go with Nothing Compares To You, because the first its too corny for you and the second too epic"

He scoffs, amused at the fact that you did obey, but at what cost? Pedro's well aware his princess can get as competitive, if not worse, than Paul.

"You're saying I'm not epic enough for Purple Rain? Too bad, because that's the answer" you grunt, crossing your arms. "That's right, I am cool enough to have it played. I guess we're tied again!"

"No, you don't loose a point. It's still three to two. This just gives you the opportunity to tie"

"W-wait a minute"

"Settle down" you pat his thigh, "you can still try, handsome"

He gulps when your hand meets his skin, despite the layer of clothes. It's still something that gets him on edge, no matter the years you've known each other. And handsome? You came here for blood.

"Okay, here's your chance: what image of me became trending topic on twitter? An image of me eating a typical dish from my country, an image of me watching Deadpool and Wolverine with glasses while Hugh Jackman's shirtless scene reflects on them or C, me meeting Taylor Swift at the backstage of the Eras Tour"

"The typical dish is tempting" he muses out loud, "but I'll go with the Taylor Swift one because that sounds like something that'd trend"

"You're right" you throw your card. "I'm not complaining though. Best day of my life"

"Does this mean I'm winning?" he beams excitedly. "Oh, in your face Paul! I will finally win something!"

"Slow down, cowboy. There's still some left"

He purses his lips. "Let me have this one thing, would you? Guess not. Here it comes" he starts to read his card, "At school I competed in state competitions, in which sport? Soccer, lacrosse, swimming"

"Swimming" you answer hastily, trying not to think on Pedro wearing tight little swimsuits, as you've only seen him wearing swim trunks.

"Okay, that's dissapointing. Please continue"

"I participated in which play while I was in highschool? Hamlet, The Iliad or Much Ado About Nothing"

You doubt he remembers. The only time it ever came up, was when you visited your parent's house and a photography of you during said play was showed to him by your dad.

"The Iliad, right?" you laugh. The answer is wrong: It's Hamlet. "What? I swear it was that one! It's just you have very..." beautiful is at the tip of his tongue but he refrains himself, "...very greek features"

You can't help but laugh.

"Why of course! This is a face people go to war for"

"I agree" your heart skips a beat, "but I don't think I'll make it that far, if we talk about a war"

"You big fat liar!" you slap his arm playfully. "You've played all sort of characters, from soldiers of all nationalities and places, and like, superheroes, f*****g Joel Miller, even a DEA agent. You at least learned something!"

"Wow, slow down, this isn't a filmography recount" he jokes. Liar, you mouth to the cameras. "Okay, last one: I became a viral sensation for eating what type of sandwhich in LADbible's snack wars: BLT, PB&J, grilled cheese"

You remember the video fondly. Even your brother had sent it to you, along a text that said: Isn´t this your husband?

"PB&J, I win!" you cheer, instantly getting off the chair to do a celebratory dance. Pedro doesn't say anything, just throwing the cards away while the fondness of his eyes betrays him.

pyramiidsf: i want someone to look at me the way pedro looks at y/n mybritishstyle: guys they're just friends 😭 he's like that with all his female co-stars ㅤㅤann-gell: mybritishstyle me when i'm delusional af mandoshoney: where's that girl that's always betting her grandma??? SHE WAS RIGHTFLKRGJ

"Hello, I'm Paul Mescal. I'm here with my friends from the cast of Gladiator II" Connie and you both raise your palms to greet the camera, laughing when you realized you'd done it at the same time, "and we are going to play a game about how well we know each other for Vanity Fair" the irish man introduces the interview you're filming today.

"Did they prompt you?" Pedro speaks up, "or did you just make that up on the fly?"

You laugh a bit too loud, hoping they cut it off in the editing process.

Paul goes first, taking up a card with the first question written on it.

"Okay. Question: What's my least favorite day of the week?"

"Tuesday" answers Joseph once Paul is done reading. "Oh, you're writing it down?"

"Yeah" he answers.

"You just wrote Tuesday" Connie points out, Paul's card on his legs. You laugh along the rest.

"Yeah" he repeats laughing. "I actually, when you said Tuesday" Yeah, he said Tuesday Pedro adds on the background of laughter. "I was like...I'm gonna give everybody a point for that"

"I think I deserve a point for being observant" Connie complains.

Everyone gets a point and Paul moves towards the next question.

"What was the name of my character in Normal People?"

"Connell" both you and Joseph answer, looking at each other before squinting your eyes playfully.

"Callum" Pedro answers out loud at the same time, and you laugh. He clearly had slept when you played it for a re-watch last summer.

"No, you're out" Paul pokes Pedro next to him.

"Connel" Joseph repeats, and Fred agrees to the same answer.

Paul then asks Connie what's hers after he confirms you three.

"Connor?" she asks, confused.

"Incorrect. Three points" while pointing you three.

"You got wrong" he tells Pedro, "Callum's a different character"

"See? You just don't pay attention when you watch things" you blurt out, stopping yourself before adding the with me. It would be harder to come back from that, but so is this as everyone looks at you, even your husband, subtle panic in his eyes. Where the cameras this close? How long had you been silent?

"It's just, quick funny story" you improvise. "Pedro didn't know much about Paul's career, and as I am a fan, I took the time to show him and recommend him your stuff" Paul smiles. "Clearly, my fanatism didn't rub on Pedro but a girl can try"

He laughs, before saying "So the answer is Connell" and you try so hard to remain normal like the energy hasn't shifted.

"He only plays characters with the letter C in the name" Pedro jokes, chewing on a toothstick he seemingly pulled out of nowhere. More laughs follow, and you are so grateful for how he's handling your little metida de patada.

"What's number one on my bucket list?" he asks next, "and don't look at my answer"

The marker is the only sound to be heard, and then Pedro jokingly tries to take a peek.

"No peeking" Connie berates as Pedro laughs.

"You're not gonna be able to see that" Paul replies in an anyways tone.

You repeat the same joke, before Fred blocks you. "Not you too!"

Paul finishes after a while, Connie commenting it was long. Joseph raises his hand.

"Yes, Joseph"

"Is it to see the Great Wall of China?" he asks.

"No, but it's in that-"

"It's close, isn't it?" you interrupt.

"...family of thought" he finishes.

"It's to go and see something" Pedro points out.

"Okay. Rajasthan" tries Connie. "Go to Rajasthan, for a tour"

"Travel to South America" Paul interrupts with the correct answer, "I've never been to South America"

"I'm from South America" Pedro comments, never missing a chance to shout out his dear Chile.

Paul jokes about him getting three points while the rest of you laugh.

"I was born in South America. 17 points for Pedro"

"I want points too" you jump on the joke. "I know Spanish, so I can take you there and avoid you getting lost, mi querido amigo"

"But who was born there?" Pedro counters, "you get no points"

"I think Joseph is the only person who gets a point there" Paul adds, "because everybody just jumped on the bandwagon"

"He said to visit the Great Wall of China" Pedro protests, "which is nowhere near South America"

"It really is not" Connie agrees.

"Qué gente tan tramposa" you complain. "That's unfair. I remove my offer"

"Think about bucket list, and he came up with travel to bit" he tries to reason Joseph's point.

"And by the way, where in South America?" Pedro questions.

"Don't fight, don't fight" pleads Joseph, the calm one. Fred just sits there, enjoying the chaos.

"I want, any, I want to do a big tour of everywhere" Mescal defends himself.

Pedro doesn't back down. "'Cause it's very different"

Paul starts to get angry too. Jesus, men. Competitive men of it all.

"I know it's very different" making an annoyed face.

"Well, different is nice" you intervene, a hand placing in Pedro's left shoulder. "If you stop giving points for free, I'll come with you to the big everywhere tour"

"Alright" Paul agrees. "When's my birthday?" is the next question.

"February" all of you say.

Joseph struggles with the date first, saying seventh, then fourth. Fred tries with ninth, Pedro with eight, and then Joseph starts counting from one to two. Fred counts from eleven to twelve.

"Second" Mescal reveals. "Point to Joseph"

"Oh my God, you guys are good" Connie mentions.

"That's all my questions" and it's time to move on the next one: which happens to be your dear husband, Pedro.

"Paul is like" he brings up while the toothpick dances on his teeth, "Paul is motivated to catch up on points. He's coming for you" to pick on his competitive side as Mescal looks deep in thought.

"He's coming. He's coming" Joseph repeats as Fred laughs.

"What is my full name?"

"Oh! Pedro-" Paul tries in a blink. "Something, J? Jose? Juan?"

"Pedro Pascal, something, something" says Joseph.

"Nope"

"No?"

"Pedro Maria, Jose Maria Pascal" Paul struggles.

Pedro is about to answer when your voice cuts through the air.

"It's José Pedro Balmaceda Pascal" you recite.

"It indeed is!" he says, smiling a bit too much. "She gets a point"

"Jose Pedro Balmaceda Pascal" your husband repeats in a more english-friendly pronunciation, looking at the camera while toying with his toothpick.

"I said Jose, I said Jose" Paul protests.

Pedro shakes his head. "You said Jose, but then you put it-"

Connie takes Paul's side. "You did say Jose"

"But then you put it behind Pedro which eliminate- which disqualified you" he replies.

Paul gets angry. That sore looser.

"That's absolute bullshit"

"Don't worry mate, the game has just begun" you joke, making the man more irritated. "Think you can get ahead of me?"

"Joseph is still ahead, y/n" Paul counters, still irritated. "Besides, wouldn't it be cheating? You can speak Spanish!"

"So? Not like speaking a language allows you to know every person's name Paul" you mock. He just snorts, despite still being half angry. Pedro is allowed to continue, trying not to make a face at yours and Paul's banter.

"The question is, who is my favorite actor?" he reads. As the cast members laugh, he uncaps the marker with his mouth, and now you have to try not to make a face, thinking about those teeth sinking into your flesh.

Quinn raises his hand. "It's me"

"That you're my favorite actor?"

"Yeah. You said that to me once" the bald man sounds sure of it.

Paul tries to think in the background. So do you. How can you not know this? he must've brought it up at least once.

"Do you remember?" Joseph insists.

Pedro finally remembers. "I said you were- I said I thought you were special"

"Oh" he sounds rather dissapointed.

"And special can mean a lot of things" he jokes, laughing by himself. Fred laughs with you as Joseph makes a face, your laughter turning even louder when you notice Paul all moody, trying to get this point.

"Who's your favorite actor?" Paul asks, "I think we just have to shoot from the hip here guys"

"Marlon Brando?" Connie guesses.

"Is it Harrison Ford?" Fred guesses.

"Let's go with Harrison Ford just because he's my favorite actor..."

You can't believe you didn't know this. You've re-watched and watched so many Star Wars content together. He gives you a brief look, knowing you're embarrased at your lack of answer.

"As a kid?"

"He's most influent, yeah" Pedro agrees.

"What job did I have before I became a full-time actor?" is next.

"Dancer. You were a great dancer" Paul aswers. Both Fred and Joseph repeat it, adding he was specifically a go-go dancer.

"Oh, he is" you add. "Videos of you dancing are lovely. Ever thought of getting back in the bussiness?"

He laughs, what appears to be a light blush creeping up his cheeks.

"Sure, darling. When you ask me to dance, I'll be there"

Nobody comments on this, too busy waiting for Pedro to say yes or no to the answer they believe to be right. But he isn't saying it is. Now you remember why.

"Come on, come on, come on" Paul begs.

"Can any of you guys remember?" Pedro pleads.

They insist that he danced in Spain, then New York, then settle with Spain again, even Pedro confirming so. But it still isn't the answer written on the card, no matter how much the boys insist.

"Connie?" he tries. She just looks confused.

"The answer in the card is-"

"Waiter" you answer. "You were a waiter"

Now you have three points under your belt.

"Why do you always say the answer at last?!" Paul grumbles. "You are cheating!"

"I'm not" you laugh the accusation off. "You just can't accept I'm better"

"Si que lo eres" Pedro agrees. "Es divertido hacer que se enoje Paul"

"What did you say about me? It's not fair, you're probably sharing the answers!" he's still adamant on insisting with the supposed cheating issue, making you laugh.

Now it's Connie's turn, who starts with: "How many languages do I speak?"

You put a puzzled look.

"You speak seven, eight maybe" Joseph guesses. Pauls says she speaks french, "but most likely seven"

Pedro points his finger at him. "Once he gets going, he's on a roll"

"Joe's got it" Connie agrees.

"Paul, end this reign" Pedro jokes. He looks rather frustrated.

"And the bonus points" Connie offers. "Okay, bonus, what are they?"

"This is an emperor's reign" your husband adds.

Joseph answers: Italian. Danish. English. Swedish. French. Spanish. Norwegian.

Connie agrees she speaks Spanish, making you jump in excitement.

"Oh, I didn't know that!" you beam. "Wait, does that mean you did get what Pedro and I gossiped about you?"

"What?" Joseph asks.

"Nada" you quickly correct yourself. "Yo no dije nada"

"Not that much. I just speak a bit of Spanish. I mostly dominate my own language, German and English"

"You blew our cover!" Pedro nags, hitting your bare leg, yet its devoid of anger.

"He needs a bonus" comments Connie, surprised at Joseph.

"This is horrifying" Pedro says when Joseph gets another point and a fricking bonus on top of that. "This is a slaughter"

"Oh, for which film did I have a gym built in my garage?"

Both Joseph and Paul answer the question correctly, saying Wonder Woman. The latter is quick to state they both get that point.

"That's one for me" Paul says, then looks at you. "And none for you"

You stick out your tongue at him as Connie reads the next card.

"If I were to take this cast on a vacation where would I take you?"

"Ibiza" answers Joseph. Connie agrees in Spanish, with a cute and excited correcto.

Your husband feels the need to crack a joke at Quinn's expense.

"Somebody was paying attention to Connie Nielsen very closely during the shooting of this movie"

"Okay. What is my favorite curse word in Danish?"

"Fuck" Pedro tries.

"No"

"Nobody is going to get that, Connie" Paul bickers.

"Oh, I don't know any Danish" you lament.

"At least now you know how it feels" Mescal drops, making you snort. You playfully kick him on the ribs with your shoe.

"It's very simple" Connie gives as a clue. "It's the same word in every language"

"Shit" Paul tries.

"Satan" she reveals.

Everybody is laughing in confusion at that, saying there's no way you could use that.

"Vos Satan!" Connie curses.

Now it's Fred's turn.

"What is my weirdest on-set habit?"

"I haven't noticed you do anything weird on set" Paul tells.

"I have" Pedro interrupts.

They all get on a small briefing about what could it possibly be, that it was weird, and wasn't part of his character, as you ponder. It was funny before, but now Paul is behind you by a point. So think fast.

"Yeah. I would say being yourself" Pedro jokes, but surprisingly, it works.

"Me! Five points for Pedro" he celebrates as you all laugh. "Love Fred. Oh, Fred"

"Oh, oh, okay" he moves to the next question. "What is my favorite reality TV show?"

Joseph tries with Survivor and Paul with Alone. Truth is, you don't watch any show of said kind, only vagely hearing about Love Island.

"You and I have talked about reality TV" Pedro reveals, "It's just that we never identified one"

They keep guessing shows that sound like a foreign language to you.

"You know what's offensive? That I'm the second youngest of this cast and I have no idea what are you all talking about"

"She's not to be trusted" Pascal quips, "can't trust someone who doesn't appreciate the art of reality TV"

You huff, annoyed.

"Is it A&E stuff?" Pedro asks.

"Yeah, it's the competitive cheapskates" Fred answers. "It's people that really save money on everything"

Pedro gets the point because he mentioned the A&E bit.

"There's like this amazing guy that made a stew out of fish bones, and I just thought it was incredible" he shares. Then, moves to the next question. "What is my go-to crafty snack?"

Nobody remembers eating snacks on set, and Fred gives the clue that it's a drink. Joseph says it's a smoothie, and he does remember it but it isn't the answser.

"I'm thinking of something specific. That Emerge-C that you put in the water"

"Oh, that's very good" you agree, so does the rest, even discussing the best colors

"Who in the cast would I ask to bail me out of jail?"

Everyone even Pedro agree its him. Everyone gets a point, yet Joseph remains ahead.

It's Joseph's turn. "What is my favorite sport?"

"Skateboarding" Paul is so quick to answer, earning him two points for both being correct and time.

"What celebrity do I get mistaken for?"

"Daisy Edgar-Jones sometimes" says Mescal. Of course he had to bring her up.

"No, she gets mistaken for me" Joseph jokes. "Yeah, poor Daisy. But I'm writing it down"

"That was the two letters?" Pedro notices. Still, no one gets it.

It's fucking Justin Timberlake. You'd never guess that.

"What is my favorite film franchise?"

You've probaly named all the existing franchises to no avail. You think fo your dad, a huge geek, trying to remember if there is one missing.

"Oh- Lord of the Rings!" you both answer with Paul at the same time.

"C'mon!" his celebration is short lived when he realizes you tied to him.

"What is my favorite British slang word?"

Pedro says it can't be said, but Quinn insists they can, even adding it's his favorite one too.

"We can say bad words? We can say-?" but the camera beeps over it.

The answer is Bellend. What even is that? Joseph feigns sadness and Pedro keeps apologizing, even as you sit on the chair.

"Okay. I'm last"you wiggle your eyebrows with interest. "Let's see. Okay, first question: what did I take from the Gladiator II set?"

"You took something?" Joseph asks on disbelief.

"Why wouldn't I take something?"

"Is it like an item or memorabilia?" asks Connie.

"It's an item" you uncap the marker, scribbling down the answer.

"It's a short word" Fred points out, but still can't provide a guess.

"You took the rings home" Pedro answers. You snap your had on his way, probably obvious. "What? You told me" he says.

Of course Paul complains. "Hey, that isn't fair! He knew the answer before!"

"Well, if you payed more attention to me, you'd know it"

Lies. Pedro knows because it's sitting in the jewelry box inside your house.

"See? I do pay attention" Pedro playfully hits Mescal.

"I could pay you more attention" he looks at you.

"Alright, then do. Ready? Next question: what is my go-to movie? Oh, this is a good one. I'm always changing it, but most of the time I end up choosing the same one"

They all give you a puzzled look as you scribble.

"C'mon, guys! I've said it on interviews before too. Paul?" the man shrugs. "Thought you said you'd pay me more attention. Heads up, you're doing a terrible job so far!"

"Hey!" he protests. "It's not fair if the answer's changing. Give us a clue"

"You didn't give any clues to yours!" you giggle. "Besides, I don't want you to win"

"Hey, that's against the rules!"

"I'd say it depends on the season" Pedro speaks up. You quirk an eyebrow. "Like, if it's changing, I don't think your Christmas go-to movie is the same as your summer one"

"Actually" you smile fondly, "that is true. On summer, it's Mamma Mia. So I suppose, if you can't guess the one, that'll do"

"No" he smiles, cheeky. "I know it too"

"Yeah?" you challenge, "what is it, then?"

"It's Thelma and Louise" he answers, and your heart beats fast.

"How do you know?" Paul inquires. "Somebody was paying attention to Y/n L/n very closely during the shooting of this movie"

Ah, his joke from earlier. Joseph giggles behind him. Karma, he supposes.

"She said it on an interview, guys. C'mon, learn your sources!"

"Okay" you clear your throat. "What movie got me into acting?"

"Thelma and Louise" Joseph tries.

"No" you laugh, "you're just recycling the answer"

"Is it an old or modern movie?" Connie asks.

"Hmh, old" you pause, "just not... I don't know if you'll ever guess it"

"Is it a Pedro Almodóvar film?" you shake your head. "What? You're always mentioning him!"

Pedro looks into your eyes amid the others' discussion, and you can tell he remembers the conversation.

"There isn't one"

You smile, chest pounding at his soft tone.

"That's correct"

"A trick question?!" Paul yells. "I quit"

"When there's just one left?" you tease.

"Yes, because you've been hiding it all the time but no more" he counters, pointing both you and Pedro. You feel the space getting smaller, breaths going from even to noticeable. "You are sharing answers"

You try to make your breath of relief pass as a chuckle.

"I'm not even gonna win, relax. And drop the charges, please. Loose like a man"

"You didn't explain it though" Connie speaks. "What did Pedro mean?"

"While I have many movies that are inspiration to me, they aren't the reason I chose this path. I did it because I saw an Oscar's ceremony when I was 11" you explain fondly, feeling warm at the memories. "I still remember when they handed the award to Diablo Cody for best original screenplay. I don't know, man, it moved me. What it meant for young artists who came from nothing. I guess I wanted, one day, to be the one standing there, for other dreamers to see it's possible"

"Wow, that's beautiful" Connie says.

"Thank you" you get flustered. "Suppose it was worth it, you know, to do interviews about not really knowing my cast mates" and laugh.

"How does Pedro know, though?" Joseph asks.

"We talk a lot" you clear your throat. "Last one: what indie horror movie did I make a small appearence in? I'm feeling generous because it's the last so I'll give you a clue. It's a Stephen King adaptation"

Paul is the first to speak. "You where in a-"

"Yeah but it wasn't such a huge role. Don't make yourself any ideas"

"I have no idea" Connie surrenders. "Other clue, as in how many words?"

"It doesn't even have any words" you laugh. "You give up? It's 1922. Was an extra as well. Made me think Netflix had my name highlighted in the extra call sheet, because I did so many minor and background roles during that year. Grateful, though, because now I get to be Rome's empress and not fortune teller or highschool #6"

The interview ends, and the camera may or may have not captured the last seconds, Pedro's gaze fixated with you the entire time.

elysyannemimi: we all saw that right? GET PEDRO AND Y/N IN A ROMCOM ❗THEIR CHEMISTRY IS INSANE❗ at0michips: love paul and y/n so much 😭😭 gimme enemies to lovers RN ㅤㅤbobgirllll: at0michips wait what if paul and y/n are secretly dating 😳 ㅤㅤann-gell: bobgirllll quick question are u dumb unhing3dprincess: i bet my grandma they're married. it has to be. trust me ㅤㅤstarlightt180: unhing3dprincess BESTIE U ARE BACK

You arrived in London today. The premiere will be in a few days, and things have been, well, hectic.

Lux couldn't stop talking all the plane ride, but your mind kept going back at the email your manager had sent you before you had boarded the plane.

It's catching upon you, read the haunting message. Attached below, a TMZ article that claimed a regular church attendee had seen you both getting married. It also used a lot of the noise fans had been making on social media, connecting dots or just hyping up the undeniable chemistry. It ended with a little paragraph saying it was obvios, and they're just hoping you'd confirmed it.

You came to realize you didn't care about it anymore. Sure, the pushing around annoyed you, but the thought of still keeping your marriage under wraps feels pointless now. Why wouldn't you shout to the world how in love with your husband you are?

Yet, when you arrive at the hotel, you keep the same protocol of arriving after Pedro, who has already checked in with two keys, claiming its for him and his sister, while you ask for the key to Lux's actual room. After you swipe cards with her, you head over the room you'd be sharing with your husband.

His face appears in your frame, everything happening quickly.

"Get inside. Now"

Your body is dragged inside the hotel room, not even giving you time to swipe the key for yourself.

"Pedro!" you exclaim, between surprised and confused. "What the hell is your problem?"

"Did you read it?"

"What? The article?" your tone is filled with annoyance. "Yes, I did. Why?"

"What do you mean why?" he snaps, voice raising higher. "Don't play dumb with me. You know fans have fuelled the rumors, and tabloids have started digging every corner in fucking California"

"So, what? You're acting as if people finding out is the worst thing in the world" you roll your eyes.

"It is, yes!" Pedro bursts out, caving in to the stress.

It feels like you've been hit across your face.

"Excuse me?" you seethe, hurt etched all across your features. "Would it be the worst thing in the world to admit you're married to the person you supposedly love the most?"

"I love you, y/n. It's just-"

His voice softens, trying to reach for you, yet you pull back, his hand falling to his side in an akward manner. He sighs in frustration, running a hand through his hair as he sits on the edge of the bed.

"I love you" he repeats, sounding much more sure this time.

Your frame seems smaller as your voice comes out hoarse, filled with emotion, appearing to be in the brink of tears:

"Then why do you act like you're embarrassed of me?"

He hates himself for making you feel this way, making you think things that aren't true.

"I don't. Never" he emphasizes. Then, tries to reach once again when you move a little bit closer to him, recognizing that's your way of letting him know you're ready. "You're the most precious thing in the world to me, don't ever think the opposite" then he sighs, heavy. "I'm just scared"

You silently ask him to explain, rubbing his thumb soothingly across his tattoo.

"You're so young, and I'm, well- I know we're aware of it, but people are cruel and the press is ruthless. I don't want to see your name dragged across the mud because you decided to marry me. Your career is starting, and I'd never forgive myself is something happened to you because of me. Not trying to make this about me, yeah? But this industry is fucked up. You've work hard to get to where you are, and it'll be unfair if you'd loose it. I'm scared because us..." he wavers, words trailing off. "I want us to be. I wouldn't want to live in a world without you, i-it would kill me not to have you be my wife"

You desperately want to kiss off the worry on his face, but let him finish.

"N-not saying our love is weak, or anything! That a couple of opinions or tabloids will- you know? Just, I-I don't want them to break us apart. Mi vida, you're the light of my life. Please, forgive me, I-"

He feels his throat closing up, words failing to come out. You sense the grip on your hand to be stronger, immediately letting loose of it.

"Hey. C'mere" your voice is tender, allowing him to bury his face in your stomach as you comb his messy curls with your fingers. "It's okay, I'm here. I'm not going anywhere"

He lets himself melt under your touch, his mind loosing itself in the soft of your digits and your perfume up his nostrils. He's again breathing normaly, hands now hugging your waist.

"There you go. Better?" Pedro nods, still not being able to talk. "That's okay, take all the time you need. We have all day"

"Do we?" he raises his view, his eyes soft yet there is something else to the brown shade.

You hum as to nod. "We agreed to join Lux for dinner. It's barely 1pm"

"Tell me you're thinking it too" his voice cuts throughout the air, boucing off the tapestry on the walls.

You laugh, nervously. "I don't think I do"

"Hmmh, I see" he stands up, towering over you. "You sure you don't?"

"You sure you want this?"

Before you know it, his lips capture yours in a passionate kiss, cutting off all words to be said. What a waste of air, anyway. You are quick to reciprocate, whimpering against his lips.

Pedro picks you up like you're as light as a feather, his arms flexing as he carries you and places you on the bed, frame hovering over yours. He breaks the kiss to breath, but you're pulling him back in, his hold on your hips tighter and the wet spot in your panties wetter.

"Look at you, pretty baby. So needy" he whispers against your face, hot breath lingering above your lips. "And mine. Mía. Only mine"

"I am, yes. Yours only. Need you so bad right now, papi" you answer in a rush. "Now shut up and fuck me"

"Con gusto" he chuckles darkly, "gotta keep the wife happy"

"Happy wife, happy life" you recite, stripping him off of his plain shirt, revealing his toned torso, bulging biceps defined by the movements. You gulp. "Fuck, papi. Gotta thank Marvel for this. I love all of your versions, but I can work with this too" you dreamily stare at him, your hands cupping his face.

He strips the rest of his clothing, but a cute blush adorns his cheeks.

"Yeah, well, it's Scott's fault too"

Your impatient fingers reach the middle of your panties to rub your clothed pussy, letting out a sound that darkens his hazel orbs.

"Fuck that guy" you mutter. Pedro laughs.

"Thought you said you loved the guy"

"Until I learned what he said about your body" you groan, still rubbing. "Connie told me"

His hands now travel to remove your clothes, almost ripping them off.

"Who cares? I just want to fuck you now" he breathes out, practically drooling at the sight of your damp panties. "Lemme take this off too"

He unhooks your bra, seeing the hard nipples. The urge to lick them is so bad, but his desire to fill you silly to the brim is stronger.

You see his hesitation, which is why you grab him by the neck to pull him in for a kiss. He kisses back fiercely, labored breaths as he struggles to focus on your lips, his wet mouth darting to your jaw, neck and collarbones. His hands roam all over your body, needy.

"Gotta be inside of you, mami. Can't wait any longer"

"Then stop waiting" you plead, tugging at his boxers with urgency.

Seeing you so cockhungry, lips parted and pupils blown wide makes his hard dick twitch with anticipation.

He mutters a labored fuck, aligning himself to enter your sticky folds. Pedro enters your tight pussy with a low groan, burying himself deep inside of you, used to his length by now. You're basically begging for it, nails digging and eyes supplicating.

He can't deny you anything, can he?

A messy whine leaves your widened mouth as you adjust, pleasure mixed with pain.

"Mhmm" you moan.

"Mhmm what?" he mocks. "You asked for it. Now take it, cariño"

He thrusts deeper into you, watching in awe how his dick enters your pussy; it was always perfectly, your pussy made for him.

"You're drippin' baby" his rough voice caresses your cheek. He kisses the are, giving a lick to the sweat starting to form. "S'fucking tight too"

You move your hips towards him, trying to augment the friction. The overstimulation starts to cloud your sense, reducing you to a whiny mess as you grip his steady arms.

"I can't think of anything but you, baby" he confesses between grunts, "filling up your pussy to the brim, you dripping with my seed for days"

You moan at the filthy words.

"Love how you take my dick, amor" stretching you as Pedro moves in and out. "S'made for me"

"Yes" you moan, skin slapping sounds bouncing off the walls. "Fuck, I love your dick..."

His pace picks up, and it comes to a point where he's just fucking you silly, his grip on your hips surely to leave a bruise as you keep spilling obscene sounds of pleasure from your lips.

"Your pussy's mine, yeah? No one else gets to have you like this"

"N-no, just you, Pedro. My h-husband" you manage to squeeze, more moans vocalizing the pleasure you felt with each thrust, his big dick inside of you moving in a a steady rhythm, making your eyes roll back further and orgasm closer.

Your breasts bounce with each thrust, and he finds impossible to resist the urge anymore, licking the sensible skin and hard nipples, your hands moving to his back, scratching him harshly, both chasing your release.

"Please!" you whine out loud, not caring how desperate you sound.

Harder. Faster. Rougher.

But your husband knows you, so he indeed starts to fuck you harder, heavy breaths and slippy kiss noises hanging in the spaces between each thrusts. He pants with every motion of his dick, a knot forming on his belly.

"Shit, baby. I think I'm gonna cum. Gonna come so hard"

"Do it. I'm on birth control, remember?" you groan, feeling your high approach as well. "Fill me up, please. Give me all your cum"

Your bodies move as one, precise thrusts hitting exactly that sweet spot of yours repeatedly, chasing your orgasm. For a brief moment, your eyes lock with his and then he's saying:

"I love you, y/n. So much"

Your heart skips a bit, his dick twitching inside as his gaze glimmers with adoration and possesiveness, teeth grazing your skin with marks for him to call you his.

"I love you too, Pedro. More than you know"

A final thrust is delivered. Fuck, feels so good you think you hear him say. Just like promised, he fills you with his release, shots of his thick, warm cum inside your sticky walls. You follow soon, back arching, toes curling, and both head and eyes rolling back. Pedro falls on top of you, his broad body collapsing over yours, as you both pant hard, trying to steady your pulse and breath. He then removes himself and positions you to be the one on top now, lazily throwing the covers over your bare bodies. We need to shower, you said, but he argued you'd do it later before going out.

"I needed that" and you happily hum in agreement at your husband's dragged out words.

Your head falls and rises, with the movement of his chest, silence settling on the previously filled with sex noises room. That until he speaks up:

"One day, I'm gonna fill you up so good until you have my babies, mami" he murmurs, just then realizing what he said. But you snuggle closer, hand and legs drapped over his bare body. You look at him closely, seeing nothing but certainty on his eyes.

I choose you. I'll always choose you.

"Whatever it is with you" your nose brushes his, a small sweet kiss on his lips, "I want"

His eyes shine, probably with tears or the glow of affection.

"Let's do it"

"What?" you look into his eyes for any sign of doubt, bull all you see is love. "Pedro, are you serious?"

He nods. "Wouldn't you want that?"

You feel the corner of your lips pull up.

"Never have I wanted anything more"

poppysplayground: Y/N AND PEDRO RED CARPET DEBUT AT THE LONDON PREMIER OF GLADIATOR II WTF I JUST WOKE UP ptwt is in SHAMBLES mostannoyingbillioner: UM HELLO pedro showing up with two hot women on his arms LUX GIMME A CHANCE pompeiianbollockr: WAIT WDYM THEY ARE MARRIED?!??! ALL THIS TIME?@?#? HOW???! NEED BIGGER CAPS TO SCREAM I'M GOING INSANE at0michips: that article better come out now or i'll burn the TMZ building ann-gell: not me thirsting for a married man 😭😭😭 how they kept this a secret for so long?? we should've noticed ㅤㅤunhing3dprincess: ann-gell i did. knew betting my grandma was the way all along ㅤㅤpyramiidsf: i'm gonna start betting my grandma too

[daisyblog]

Cousin Love

Our Story Masterlist Summary: Freddie meets Grace.

Based on this request.

With Freddie living in America with his Mum majority of the year, YN and Harry would try to fly out and visit as much as they could. But having a newborn and trying to find their path in parenthood, meant it wasn’t that easy to go and see their nephew as often.

They would love for Freddie to meet Grace, as FaceTime just wasn’t enough. But with Louis’ work schedule, it wasn’t possible. So YN accepted that weekly FaceTimes would have to do until they could fly out to the US.

The Styles family were having a quiet morning, allowing the time to slip by as they ate breakfast together, drank cups of tea and coffee, and importantly had lots of cuddles on the sofa.

The buzzer to the outside gate, caught their ears as they wondered who unexpectedly was dropping byHarry was surprised when he saw Louis’ face on the camera, not realising he was back in London.

“It’s Louis!” Harry called to YN letting her know her brother was here.

“Oh! It’s Uncle Louis”. Grace lovingly stared up at her mother, taking in everything she was saying.

Harry pressed the button to allow Louis in. Then opened the front door to wait for his arrival. But the sound of two voices, and a particular American accent caught his ears. Before he could ask any questions, Freddie ran towards him.

“Uncle Harry!”. He was quick to scoop the younger boy up into his arms and squeezing him tight to his chest.

“I’ve missed you little man!”. Freddie wrapped his arms around Harry’s shoulders, still hugging him tight. “But I know someone who’s missed you more”.

“Auntie YN!”.

Harry led Louis and Freddie to where YN and Grace were in the large cosy living area. “Auntie YN…guess who I’ve found!”.

YN’s eyes almost popped out at the sight of her oldest nephew in her husbands arms. She jumped up from her place and opened her arms wide for him. “Freddie!”.

Freddie ran towards her and almost tackled her as he wrapped his arms around her, YN’s arms doing the same. “I’ve missed you Auntie YN!”.

“Not as much as I’ve missed you my boy!”. She didn’t want to let go but there was someone else who YN wanted Freddie to meet. Grace was laying on a large Playmat, small toys surrounding her. “Freddie this is little Grace…and Grace this is your big cousin Freddie”.

Louis watched as he sat on the sofa, his son gently holding onto Grace’s hand as he softly spoke to her. Picking up some of the toys around her to play with her. Trying his best to make her smile as he made silly faces.

“Why does she look like you?”. Freddie asked YN who was still sat next to him. Harry let out a chuckle at the question, something they get told regularly is that Grace is the image of YN.

“The same reason you look like your Dad”. YN explained, as she glanced at Louis. “The Tomlinson genes are just too strong”.

“You can say that again”. Harry sent YN a cheeky smirk.

Freddie had spent most of the morning by Grace’s side, knowing he may not see her for a while again. He was laid to down next to her on the large blanket, his little finger rubbing down her nose gently as her eyes grew tired.

Harry had gone to the kitchen to prepare them all lunch. But YN was now sat next to Louis as he swung his arm around her shoulder for a sibling cuddle. They watched their babies together, watching in awe at how loving and gentle Freddie was being with Grace.

“Why do I feel like we’re having a glimpse of what we were like as kids?”. YN asked as her eyes saw Freddie gently place a small blanket back over Grace who had kicked it off.

Louis smiled finding the loving moment between the cousins sweet. “Because you are…I literally adored you as a baby…well I still do, you’re just a bit more annoying now”. Louis teased.

“Hey!”.

“I’m joking…I can’t wait to see all our kids grow up together like we did”. Louis smiled.

“Family full of love!”.

Tag List:

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[foundfamily-connoisseur]

PUNCH OUT HCS CUZ I DONT GOT TIME TO DRAW THEM BUT THEY WONT LEAVE ME ALONE!!!

Something something the voices

This is so long I'm sorry

No I'm serious I started derailing I think

LITTLE MAC

Mexican-American! His ma is Mexican and immigrated to The Bronx, where she met Mac's dad (who we have nothing on lol, he dipped before Mac was born).

His ma? Oh yeah, she died :( He doesn't know how, just that he came home one day (latchkey kid) and saw the cops surrounding the apartment. Placed him in an orphanage but got into fights a lot and deemed him a 'problem child' (literally just an autistic kid grieving the loss of his mom)

As said, Lil Mac is autistic! For the most nonverbal and thus uses ASL, but also speaks English and Spanish from time to time(English from Doc, Spanish from his mother and childhood friends who helped him keep up). Spanish is his preferred language tho.

Narcolepsy haver. It usually doesn't interfere much with his actual boxing matches since he's learned to feel when they're coming and deal with them accordingly. Took him and Doc a while to figure out that he had it since they just chalked it up to his prior malnutrition(which also impacted his growth, capping him at a whole 4'9)

Affectionate(?): must be initiated by him. He's very much for hugging and holding hands but if someone else does it first he's like :/. Only people he's ok with is Doc Louis so far.

Trans: transman who figured himself out pretty early when he only played soccer with the boys out in the mud. His mom cut his hair super short as a 'punishment' for always getting dirt in his braids but jokes on her he loved it. Doc has been helping him with hormone blockers, and with the prize money saving up for surgery 🙏 you can do it maccie boy!!! No one else in the ring knows and he'd rather keep it that way thank you (both out of nerves but also why do they need to know 🤨 what are they the fbi???)

Fashion sense: if you try to get this boy in anything but a tank/shirt and shorts he will explode. This man rocks flip flops and sneakers for days and it's all that's in his wardrobe (maybe another hoodie or two). A lot of them are rather worn but he hates the idea of "wasting" money so he uses em till they're literally impossible to wear.

Very spiritual: believes in el Mal Ojo aka Evil Eye and such. (Mostly from his mother and the women on the block that took him in from time to time). If he thinks your vibes are off, he will do an egg cleanse and swears that they work (they do i can attest to that chat).

GLASS JOE

EDS HAVER!!!!! (Ie Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome). This man has glass bones and paper

he don't care he will fight till he's dead! That and boxing actually does rlly help him with his joint pains. He finds it kinda funny when ppl worry about him like "sorry guys i gotta lie down real quick i think my ribs went criss cross". He prefers to get around on wheel chair but can get by with crutches(to which he just lays on the bed forever afterward)

Cat dad!!!!: less him having an actual pet cat than him just tending to whatever feline that crosses his path. May or may not have some scratches on his hands don't worry about it.

Actually really good friends with Mac: (we're going to pretend that they aren't literally thousands of miles away shut up). One of the few to make an actual effort to learn ASL rather than pick it up slowly or have Doc translate. In turn, Mac has gone about learning bits and pieces of French, enough so that both can communicate in their respective language and the other can (mostly) understand them.

This man is such a critic like what do you mean the food lacked a certain "je ne sais quoi" or the movie "insisted upon itself". He really wants to be nice but if it has any touch of French, he is going to murder it because it isn't French enough or actually accurate.

Had an ex fiance to which they broke off for reasons he'd rather not elaborate.

VON KAISER

Tics: he has em. They worsen under stress, but occur randomly or if overstimulated

Served in the military before being discharged. He doesn't like talking about and his tics start acting up if the topic is brought up.

Widower: wife died fairly early into their marriage and he was absolutely distraught. They both always talked about having kids, and a part of him still wants that, but it won't be the same without his Engelchen.

Career: he had wanted to be an engineer, but after serving in the military couldn't bring himself to go into it. That, and being a boxing teacher let's him tend to kids, even if it means getting socked in the stomach. He always acts like a strict instructor, both from his own experience in the military and because he wants to keep the kids at arms length. Also his wife being a kindergarten teacher had nothing to do with it nooooo

Close friends with Hondo and Glass Joe. Bear Hugger is a friendly fella but his loud and boarish disposition gets him riled up. Gets along well with Little Mac and if Doc isn't present for whatever reason, he's good at helping Mac calm down if he starts getting overstimulated and vice versa.

He also totally doesn't have Lil Mac be a pseudo son to him and think about his kis could've been potentially his age who said that.

Emotional support animal: German shepherd called Hugo. That's his baby right there

Disco Kid

That man's a fruit your honor!!!! No but fr tho he's a queer man living his best life.

Also a drag queen! (Name pending). Doesn't really care for how others perceive him and goes with the flow really.

Definitely fought with his dad a lot when he was younger, but as he grew his father came around and now they have a pretty solid relationship.

He's a total mommas boy tho he will literally die for her. He also has a little sister who he plays dolls with. (And yes she asks him to say it in his girl voice iykyk)

Gets along with pretty much everyone besides Mr. Sandman really (Aran Ryan is an interesting case. You heard it from the grape vine but they have an on and off relationship).

An art major for sureeeee. Idk what kind but im sensing something

Really good with machinery though. Usually just so he can fix up his car and stereos.

KING HIPPO

He is for sure not human. I always draw him more beastly but he's probably closer to whales/hippos than actual people.

Like hippos, all that's fat is really just pure muscle. No cuz google up a hippo and remove their skin them bitches are SHREDDED!!!

Naturally very affectionate, although he prefers his pals in the minor circuit (and Lil Mac. Yes this is Little Mac supremacy everyone will be his friend).

Absolutely loves cocktails. They come with fruit how can he not. Funnily enough he despises apples though.

Has multiple wives: a primary wife and secondary wives. Has kids with most of them and naturally, the first born son will take his place when the time comes. (He does love all his kids and wives equally tho so don't worry about them).

Surpringly eloquent" while he can't exactly form human speech, his writing is impeccable, both in letter and in word choice. No one knows how he does it with those claws and big ass hands.

PISTON HONDA

This man has so much manga it's insane. This mf probably has a whole room dedicated to his collection. Yes most of them are Shojo and yes he has a lot of Sailor Moon merch and memorabilia. (although he does also enjoy other such Mangas like JJBA and Inuyasha. I'd say he's embarrassed about it but bro was reading Sailor Moon out in the open so id say he's at least fine with reading it publicly.

Has gotten some of the other boxers to read some of his recs and watch some animes with him (he will force you to watch Madoka Magica and Revolutionary Girl Utena. It's only a matter of time.) It's also how he got into other shows like Candy Candy (by Mac), The Golden Girls(by Disco Kid. He likes his oldies what can he say), and pretty much any and every telenovela ever created (Wow wonder who it could be).

Has a pet Shiba Inu that he loves to bits but DAMN does she test his patience sometimes. And he has a lot of it.

Also began learning ASL when he caught wind of Glass Joe doing it, although he practically forced Lil Mac to learn Japanese because damn it, sometimes the dub doesn't do the show justice!!!

Has two older sisters!!! He's the baby of the family lol and it don't matter if he can pick em both up they'll still pinch his cheeks and tease him.

BEAR HUGGER

Trans: a transgender man who's loud and proud. Never bothered with top surgery he ain't cutting off his girls!!! He could pick up the vibe™️ with Little Mac but he's not the type to try and force the conversation. He'll let Mac come to him on his own time, and if not then that's fine too.

Loads of animals: similar situation to Glass Joe, although now it applies to all animals. Bro is a Disney princess. He sticks his arms out and birds fly to perch on them. Can seemingly hold an actual conversation with animals and no one knows if he's losing it or if they are.

Family: an only child, but with loads of cousins who fill in that sibling role. He's actually really good with kids and takes care of his nieces and nephews from time to time. He has thought about being a dad from time to time (he'd really like to have a girl) but always decides against it.

Affectionate: to the highest degree. That man is always asking if ya need a hug and it ain't just a threat for a grapple/ear clap. He and King Hippo get along swimmingly as a result (if only they didn't die if they went to each other's respective home country 😔)

Prosthethic: ya cant tell cuz of his clothes, but he has a prosthetic leg! (Stops a bit below the knee). If he ever takes it off for whatever reason, he always goes "aw man, guess I'm on my last leg" and the crowd goes mild. Thinks it's the funniest shit ever tho and he won't stop making the joke (Little Mac made it worse by giving an actual chuckle. Mac you've doomed us all with your horrible sense in jokes. I blame Doc)

GREAT TIGER

Loves cats: absolutely adores them. This man has a cat onesie I can feel it in my bones. He hangs out with Glass Joe solely for the cat (also the baguettes).

Gossip: he has a horrible habit of gossiping that he's tried to curb but astaghfirullah sometimes he's gotta talk about Don's receding hairline😔 Mac isn't helping him pinche chismoso!!!

Doesn't like going to parties involving alcohol with the WVBA because almost always he's forced into designated driver. Usually he just teleports away because he's not dealing with that yall are calling an uber!!!!

Actively avoids searching up ingredients in things he eats (like gummies) because if he doesn't know it's not Haram.

Sneakerhead: very proud of his collection. Also really into rap music (we don't talk about his career...that never happened chat) and you will hear it blasting from his car.

Sister!!! Stealing this from a fic but he has a younger sister who works internationally. If she's there with him she serves as his translator.

Magic: not limited to clones or what's seen in the game, but it's his preferred type of magic. He can also transform things and people into other things/creatures. He accidentally made Mac into a rabbit and everyone had a field day with that one.

DON FLAMENCO

Chismoso: this man will shit talk anything and anyone. If you talked with him chances are you're part of a gossiping ring with the older ladies who work nearby. I think they're talking about how you're a puta but idk

Former womanizer: this man banged anything that had a beating heart and a pretty body. It wasn't until he met Carmen that he knew what love really was. Once they got together UGHHHH this man was a fucking loser for his Carmen. Took years to win her over but it was all worth it for his amor.

They talk about kids sometimes, but this mf childish that he sees it as having to share his beloved fiance. (They for sure have kids later down the line tho. Give them a minute damn!)

Beef: tbh he doesn't really get along with anyone; he just dislikes them all to varying degrees. He and Mac hate each other on the principle of one being Hispanic/Latino and the other being a Spaniard. Do NOT leave them alone for any reason. Last time they both argued about the spanish word for 'straw' and sent each other to the hospital where they argued some more.

Telenovelas are his life force. If you interrupt his showing of La Rose de Guadalupe, he will literally kill you.

Got Aran Ryan into it by accident: he was watching Teresa in the living room when Ryan was crossing to go to the kitchen for a bite. An hour later he's sat on the couch hand in heads. They both watch it together now.

Great cook: he makes a means paella and he knows it. Always makes it to show off 'Spain Superiority'. Little Mac hates his guts but he's not gonna turn down a free paella.

ARAN RYAN

People joke and say he has brain damage which is why he's so crazy, but he actually does have CTE so 💀

Family: aside from his general knack for recklessness, having a piece of shit mom and an even worse dad (who of course had to die in a freak accident at work) does not exactly leave you the most sound. He has loads of sisters and brothers, being the second oldest of the bunch (with one older sister of which the hate is mutual). It's a big factor to why he doesn't want kids; he's spent a big chunk of his life working to raise them.

Boxing: to him it was both an outlet for his eventually anger issues and a means to raise money in the same punch. It did lead to fucking him up physically, as after a particularly nasty bout with Mr. Sandman, an eye got knocked out of place so he's working with only 50%.

Very jittery: you can never catch this man staying still. Even in his sleep he either tosses or twitches a leg or arm. Trying to make him stay still just makes it worse.

Repressed Bi it's not even funny. His excuse for his on and off relationship with Disco Kid is "well he's basically a lady!" He'll come to terms with it eventually, but that's one hell of a long road.

Superstitious: biggest thing for him is luck. he breaks a lot of shit but mirrors are not one of them!

Low-key misogynistic: "my sister punches harder than ye, boy!" Like damn your sister must be knocking ppls jaws clean off the freak. If he ever finds out that Lil Mac is trans it's just gonna be him like "SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT" cuz now he's gonna get canceled on Twitter dot com by Super Macho Man😔😔😔

SODA POPINSKI

Married!!! Has a tiny little wife that he loves to bits. She will scold him and he's just all :]]]] wife...I luv her sm... he's a total wifeman

They've been trying for a kid (bro you can't just say that...gross). Naturally this man wants a shit load of them god help that woman.

A major reason to why he's been making efforts to curb his drinking habits! Of course he still hits the bottle every so often, but he's for sure gotten better than his first time in the ring.

Cooking skills: surpringly decent believe it or not! Anything with meat he's killer with and he always makes ridiculously large portions. (Yes it's because he wants to make something nice for his lady let me make a wife guy!!!!)

Really likes Beyonce. Major fan actually he goes to so many of her shows.

Horrible with social cues. This man does not understand when he's being too overbearing (to the detriment of his friendship with many alas😔 especially Von Kaiser and Little Mac). Tries to apologize by offering them a soda like 🥺🥤

Speaking of Little Mac, he once tripped over him (6'7 vs 4'9...oh dear). Flash forward to them in the hospital. They both swear to never speak of this again (also Soda gets him authentic mexican cola so like...we're all good here).

BALD BULL

Anger issues galore: got his father's temperament(don't we all???) And in addition to being bullied a lot as a kid, he hasn't really found the best way to manage. Usually he just goes out to a secluded field or heads out to the sauna, but the press has done little favors to his mental sanity.

Cat magnet: not of his own volition. They are drawn to him like flies to honey. He doesn't really mind them and are a nice way to de-stress.

Music taste: while he usually listens to classical music and instrumentals, he loves himself some girlie pop music. You pull out his ear buds and just catch "Girls just wanna have funnnnn" Before he punches you into the sun

Cattle farm: Inherited from his family, he loves all his cows to bits. They are his pride and joy. He has Glass Joe come over sometimes for some cheese and wine.

Isn't particularly close to any of the boxers beyond Glass Joe and Soda Popinski. He spends some time with Lil Mac, usually just to go out and get some ice cream or something. He likes the kids company cuz he isn't as energetic or demanding in the same regard a lot of teens are.

SUPER MACHO MAN

He for sure has a purse dog named princess. It's a white pomeranian with a pink bow i just known it.

Was a child actor! His family got him into the world early, staring as the sweetheart of whatever show or movie he was in. In his later teens, he was the heart throb before he left the scene as an adult to focus on boxing. His parents were at first disappointed, but after seeing the money roll in? They had no problems after that.

Romance: as expected, nothing permanent. He usually just has loads of flings or one time hook ups that never amount to anything, and he doesn't bother looking for anything "real".

Probably has a kid out there somewhere but if he does, he's denying it till his dying breath.

Similarly to Don, he doesn't really get along with anyone. For him it's just a matter of his own superficial nature. He absolutely detests Mac, but is the only one to know ASL fluently due to a former childhood friend. He doesn't use it beyond wanting to be bitchy in secret.

I know he's super tan but I'm not allowing him to be white. He's a lil something...will figure that out later.

MR SANDMAN

Yeah ngl I don't got a lot for him. I don't think i have anything actually. Huh

He mains Kirby in smash.

He used to have a lisp when he was younger

Yknow how some parents will have kids super far apart? Yeah his parents did that what do you mean he was 22 and he got a new baby sister. What the freak.

He absolutely hates Macs guts but also can't take him seriously on account that he's 4'9. Whose child is this. Literally, when he first entered the ring, he asked whose kid was this and that children weren't allowed in the ring. Lo and behind this was the schmuck that knocked the lights out of 12 other fully grown men, and he was coming for your ass next.

BONUS

DOC LOUIS

Took Mac in when he was around 9, formally adopted him as soon as he could. Heard of a ruckus for a missing child some minutes away and when he came back with Little Mac, he thought he found his parents. Then he got the situation explained to him about how he didn't actually have anyone, everyone just agreed to look out for him. There he officially took him in as his son.

Put the kid back in school after learning he hasn't been in since his mom died. He's considerably behind for his age, but has taken great strides to catch up. He's now just a year behind.

Definitely a major learning curve when it came to raising a child, much less one who barely spoke english(if he spoke at all) and prone to outbursts. It's been years since then and he can't imagine a world without that kid.

Had a wife but they divorced after he found out she had an affair. Sent him on a downwards spiral but he managed to pick himself back up. Having a kid to raise really helps him out.

Close to his sister, but that's about it. She's who gave him pointers on how to raise a kid, as they were about the same age. He doesn't think hes have done as well if it wasn't for her.

Former coach of Bald Bull, but parted ways after arguments on what exactly that wanted to do moving forward. They're amicable now, though.

[niallerspayno]

Three’s Company - Part 1

Masterlist

As Louis Tomlinson’s sister and the Assistant Tour Manager for One Direction, you never expected to get caught up in a secret fling with two of his best friends—Zayn and Liam. What starts as playful flirtation quickly turns into stolen moments and heated kisses. But as Louis starts to notice, the tension between you, Zayn, and Liam only grows, and navigating family, secrets, and your heart becomes a lot more complicated.

Tags: Zayn x Liam x reader, Louis x sister!reader, smut, kinda poly but not, secret relationship

Part 2 | Part 3

…

Being Louis Tomlinson’s younger sister comes with its perks—free concerts, traveling the world, and getting to work as the Assistant Tour Manager for one of the biggest boy bands on the planet. But it also comes with its challenges, namely your overprotective brother, who seems to think you’re still the same kid he used to chase around Doncaster.

You step into the suite’s shared lounge, the soft morning light streaming through the curtains. Tugging your scarf higher over your neck, you pray no one notices.

Louis glances up from where he’s sprawled on the couch, scrolling through his phone. His eyes narrow immediately. “What’s with the scarf? We’re in LA. It’s like 25 degrees outside.”

“Just felt like wearing it,” you reply, trying to sound nonchalant as you move toward the kitchenette.

Louis sits up, his suspicion practically radiating off him. “Hang on. Are you hiding something? What’s under there? A dodgy tan line? A new tattoo?” He grins wickedly. “Or maybe… hickeys?”

Your stomach drops. “No!” you snap, too quickly.

Across the room, Niall and Harry perk up, their attention now fully on you. Zayn and Liam, seated nearby, exchange a subtle glance, but both keep their expressions carefully neutral.

Louis smirks, standing and crossing the room with dramatic flair. “Oh, now I have to know. Let’s see it.”

“Louis, don’t—”

But it’s too late. He tugs the edge of the scarf down just enough to reveal the faint purple marks trailing along your neck.

The room erupts.

“Bloody hell!” Niall exclaims, laughing so hard he nearly spills his coffee.

Harry claps his hands together, grinning like the Cheshire cat. “Hickeys! She’s got hickeys!”

Louis steps back, his eyes wide with mock horror before breaking into a triumphant laugh. “I knew it! You’ve been sneaking around, haven’t you? Who’s the lad? Someone on the crew? A local? Please tell me it’s not a roadie.”

“Shut up, Louis!” you snap, pulling the scarf back into place, but the damage is done.

Louis folds his arms, shaking his head in mock disappointment. “Unbelievable. My own sister, sneaking around like this. Does Mum know?”

“Leave Mum out of this,” you grumble, your face burning.

“She won’t care, so long as it’s not some tosser,” Louis says with a shrug. His teasing grin softens just slightly. “Wait—he isn’t a tosser, right? Because if he is—”

“He’s not,” you interrupt, exasperated. “Can we drop it now?”

Louis studies you for a moment before smirking again. “Fine. But I’m watching you. You’ve got that post-snog glow. Whoever he is, he better be bloody perfect, or he’s answering to me.”

You roll your eyes and head for the door. “You’re the worst.”

As you make your exit, you catch Zayn biting back a smirk and Liam suddenly finding the floor very interesting. Their silence feels deafening, but thankfully, Louis is too caught up in his teasing to notice.

The last thing you hear before the door closes behind you is Louis muttering, “Honestly, I don’t even want to know. She looks way too happy for me to handle.”

…

Last Night

The hotel suite is alive with energy, a post-show celebration in full swing. The laughter of the band fills the air as the alcohol flows freely, and the music pulses from the speakers. Everyone’s gathered around in a circle, including you, as the chaos of the tour seems to dissipate into the late-night haze.

Louis, in the middle of it all, keeps everyone laughing with his antics, while Niall and Harry joke around, throwing playful jabs at one another. You’re content to sit back, watching the familiar banter, but tonight something feels different. The game begins when someone suggests Truth or Dare, and you’re pulled in, much to your reluctant amusement.

It starts innocently enough—simple dares, harmless truths. But you notice the way Zayn and Liam keep glancing at you, their eyes lingering just a bit too long whenever it’s your turn. It makes you feel… seen. Not in the way your brother sees you or the way the bandmates see you as just Louis’ sister, but something else. Something you can’t quite put your finger on.

As the game progresses, the energy shifts. Zayn leans in when it’s your turn, his voice low and teasing. “Truth or dare?”

You meet his gaze, trying to play it cool. “Dare.”

He smirks, his gaze drifting over the group. “I dare you to kiss someone here… but not just anyone. Someone who’s been eyeing you all night.”

You try to keep your nerves at bay, but you know exactly who he’s talking about. Both Liam and Zayn have been looking at you like they know something you’re not ready to admit. You give a brief glance to Liam—his eyes meeting yours for just a second before he looks away—and you feel the heat rise in your cheeks. You can’t ignore the tension in the air anymore.

You stand up, feeling a thrill course through you, and kiss Zayn on the lips—quickly, a brief brush, but enough to send a jolt through you. You sit back down, pretending the room is still as carefree as before, but you can feel the weight of the moment settling in, especially with the way Liam is watching you now, his expression unreadable.

The other guys laugh and cheer, not catching the spark in the air. They think it’s just part of the game, no big deal. But you can feel Zayn’s eyes on you now, a silent acknowledgment of the tension that’s thickening between you, Liam, and him.

The game moves on, but now it’s Liam’s turn. He looks straight at you, his gaze almost daring. “Truth or dare?”

You try to keep your composure, but something in the way he asks makes your stomach flip. “Dare,” you reply, unable to do anything but go along with it.

He leans forward, his voice dropping to a whisper just for you. “I dare you to kiss me.”

You blink, your heart skipping a beat. His dare isn’t just part of the game. It’s a challenge, and you can’t back down. You don’t want to. Without thinking, you lean in, your lips meeting his in a kiss that feels anything but innocent. It’s slow, heated, the kind of kiss that’s not meant for a game but for something more, something real.

You pull away, breathless, and look around to see Louis, Harry, and Niall laughing, completely oblivious. They’ve all seen the kiss, but they think it’s just part of the game. They don’t see what you and Liam both feel—the undeniable chemistry between you that’s been building for months.

Before you can fully gather your thoughts, Zayn leans over and presses his lips to yours once more, his kiss deep and urgent. You can’t help but give in to it, the excitement and the pull between the three of you too strong to resist.

You pull away again, your mind spinning. Zayn gives you a smirk that only makes your heart race faster. He knows exactly what he’s doing, and Liam’s eyes on you confirm that he does too.

The game continues, but you’re barely paying attention anymore. You can feel the tension between you, Zayn, and Liam, and it’s clear they both want something more. But the others are laughing, oblivious, not picking up on the way the air between you three is charged.

As the laughter starts to die down and the group begins to break off, you feel a pull toward the balcony. The air inside the suite is growing warm with the lingering heat of the party, and you crave the cool night breeze. You slip outside, hoping for a moment of quiet, but you’re not alone for long.

Zayn steps out behind you, his presence unmistakable. He leans against the railing, his eyes fixed on the city lights in the distance, but you can feel the unspoken words between you. There’s a heaviness to the silence that wasn’t there before.

He lights a cigarette, offering one to you, which you take gratefully. The smoke feels almost comforting between the two of you, like it’s giving you both space to breathe, to process what just happened inside.

“I didn’t expect you to actually kiss me,” Zayn says, his voice low but teasing, as he exhales a cloud of smoke into the night air.

You glance at him, a little embarrassed but intrigued. “I didn’t expect you to kiss me back.”

His lips curve into a smirk, and he takes another drag from the cigarette. “Guess we’re both full of surprises, then.”

You nod, your mind still racing from the dares, the tension. But the cool air outside, combined with the quiet between you, feels like a release. The kind of release you didn’t know you needed until now.

You lean against the railing next to him, letting the cigarette burn between your fingers, but your mind keeps drifting back to the heat in the room—the heat from the kiss with Liam, the touch of Zayn’s lips. It’s a dangerous feeling, this electric connection. But the pull is undeniable, and Zayn’s presence is magnetic.

Zayn turns his head to look at you, his eyes dark, but there’s a playful spark there too. “You should’ve kissed me longer in there,” he says, his tone barely above a whisper.

You raise an eyebrow, feeling the playful challenge in his words. “Maybe I didn’t want to.”

“Or maybe you were just waiting for the right moment,” he suggests, stepping closer, the space between you shrinking. The cigarette between your fingers burns down, forgotten.

You don’t say anything, the weight of his words settling between you, and before you can process, Zayn is right there. His lips meet yours in a kiss that’s deeper than the one from the game. His hand reaches up, cupping the back of your neck as his other hand slides down your waist, pulling you closer to him.

The world fades away—there’s only Zayn, his lips, his hands, and the overwhelming desire that takes over. You kiss him back, letting go of any hesitation. The chemistry that’s been simmering all night bursts into something more, something intense. You feel the heat between you both, the urgency.

When the kiss breaks, you’re both breathless. Zayn presses his forehead against yours, his breath mingling with yours. “I’ve wanted to do that for a while,” he admits, his voice rough.

You smile softly, trying to steady your own racing heart. “Yeah, me too.”

Before you can say anything else, Zayn pulls you back into another kiss. This time, it’s slower, more deliberate, and you feel everything—the way his lips move against yours, the way his body fits against yours as if you were made to be this close.

Your hands find their way to his chest, and just as you’re getting lost in the moment, the sound of the door opening behind you breaks the spell. You pull away quickly, your heart hammering in your chest.

Liam steps outside, looking at the two of you with a knowing smile. “I thought I’d find you two out here.”

You look at Zayn, who smirks back at Liam, his hand still resting on your waist. There’s no turning back now. What started as a game is quickly becoming something much more complicated.

“You mind if I join?” Liam asks, stepping closer to the balcony. There’s a teasing edge to his voice, but there’s something else too. Something deeper.

You glance at Zayn, who gives a subtle nod, and then look back at Liam. The tension between the three of you is undeniable.

“Make yourself comfortable,” Zayn says with a grin, handing Liam a cigarette.

Liam steps closer, his eyes glinting in the dim light as he takes a long drag from the cigarette Zayn handed him. The air between the three of you is thick with unspoken words, a tension that's both thrilling and dangerous. You're caught between them now, and there's no denying the chemistry that's pulsing in every glance, every breath.

"You know," Liam says, his voice low and smooth, "you really shouldn't leave a guy hanging like that." He flicks the cigarette to the ground, stepping closer to you, his body heat radiating against yours.

You glance at Zayn, who watches the exchange with a knowing smile, then back to Liam. "I didn't leave you hanging," you reply, though your voice is shaky, betraying the anticipation bubbling up inside you.

Liam's lips twitch into a half-smile as he moves closer, brushing a lock of hair from your face. His fingers linger, tracing the curve of your jaw as he closes the space between you. Without warning, he leans in, kissing you deeply. It's different from the game, more intense. You melt into it, your hands sliding up his chest, pulling him closer.

Zayn watches, a slight smirk playing on his lips. He's not the least bit jealous. Instead, he seems content, his eyes flickering between the two of you with amusement. When Liam pulls back, his thumb caresses your bottom lip, eyes dark with desire.

Zayn takes a step forward, leaning in to kiss you on the neck, just below your ear. "We're not fighting over you," he murmurs, his voice like velvet. "This... this is just how it's going to be."

Liam chuckles softly, brushing his lips against your temple. "Yeah. No need to fight." His fingers slide down to your waist, pulling you gently toward him. "You're ours, aren't you?"

You can barely think straight, your heart pounding in your chest as both men crowd around you, their hands finding their way to your body in the most tantalizing way. Zayn's lips press softly against your neck, his breath warm against your skin. You feel the heat building between the three of you, an irresistible pull that only grows stronger with every touch.

Liam leans in again, kissing you hungrily, his hand threading into your hair, tilting your head back to give him better access. The kiss deepens, the world around you shrinking to just the heat of their lips on yours, the taste of smoke and desire lingering in your mouth.

Zayn's hands roam, finding the curve of your hips as he pulls you flush against him, his body warm and solid. The tension between the three of you is palpable-there's no escaping it now.

Without warning, Liam breaks the kiss, his voice hushed but filled with raw intent. "We're both going to have you, yeah?"

You can barely get the words out, but you nod, breathless. "Yes."

Zayn grins, his lips brushing against your skin,"Good girl." And then, with a devilish glint in his eye, he presses you backward, guiding you toward the wall of the balcony. Your back hits the cool surface, the sudden impact making your pulse race even faster.

Liam steps forward, his eyes dark and hungry as he watches Zayn. "You ready?" he asks, his voice rough. You can't find the words to respond, but your body says everything. You nod again, breathless, anticipation making you tremble.

Zayn leans in, kissing you again, his lips hot and urgent. Liam watches, his gaze never leaving you. Then, as Zayn pulls away, Liam is there, immediately taking his place, kissing you fiercely. His lips are demanding as his hands slide up your back, pulling you even closer.

The heat between you escalates, their hands roaming, caressing. Zayn moves beside you, his lips brushing against the sensitive skin of your neck, trailing down to the spot just beneath your ear. You gasp as his lips press firmly against your skin, leaving a mark-a dark, unmistakable bruise. Liam's eyes flicker to Zayn's handiwork, and he grins.

"You're going to look so beautiful covered in both of us," Liam murmurs, his voice husky with desire. He kisses you again, harder this time, his hands gripping your sides, pressing you even more firmly against the wall.

Zayn moves to the other side of your neck, kissing and biting lightly, his teeth grazing your skin as he leaves another mark. You moan, your head tilting back, completely lost in the sensations they're creating. Your body is on fire, every inch of you craving more.

Liam pulls away just enough to look at you, his expression a mixture of satisfaction and hunger. "I want to see you marked by both of us. I want everyone to know who you belong to."

You can't form a response. All you can do is nod, your body trembling in their arms. They know exactly what they're doing, pushing you to the edge of madness, and you're powerless to stop it. Zayn's lips move lower, marking the line of your jaw, while Liam trails kisses down your throat.

Liam's lips trail lower, finding a sensitive spot on your collarbone, while Zayn shifts his attention to your ear, his teeth grazing the shell before he presses a kiss just below it. Their combined focus on you is overwhelming—every touch, every kiss stoking the fire they've lit inside you.

Zayn pulls back slightly, his dark eyes scanning the marks already blooming on your skin. "You're a masterpiece," he murmurs, a proud smirk curling his lips.

Liam hums in agreement, brushing his thumb gently over a fresh bruise he's just left near your shoulder. "Couldn't resist," he says, his voice low and rough. "You wear us so well."

They exchange a look-silent but loaded with meaning-and without warning, both of them lean in at the same time. Liam's mouth finds the curve of your neck on one side, while Zayn presses his lips to the other. You gasp, your body arching against the wall as they kiss, suck, and bite in tandem, their movements perfectly in sync.

It's too much, their attention sending waves of pleasure coursing through you. You clutch at their shoulders, barely able to stand under the intensity of it all. When they finally pull away, you're left breathless, your skin tingling where their lips had been.

Zayn steps back first, his smirk softening into something more intimate as he brushes a thumb over your cheek. "Satisfied, love?" he teases, though his voice holds a tenderness that makes your heart flutter.

You nod, still struggling to catch your breath, "Completely," you manage to whisper.

Liam chuckles, his hand finding its way to the small of your back, steadying you. "Good," he says, his voice warm but laced with a mischievous undertone. "Because we're not done with you yet. Just... not tonight."

Zayn grins at that, sliding an arm around your waist briefly before stepping back entirely, "We'll keep this between us," he says, his tone suddenly serious. "No one needs to know-especially not Louis."

"Agreed," Liam adds, his gaze locking with yours. "This stays our secret. But... if you want this again, we're not going anywhere."

The weight of their words settles between you, but there's no fear, no hesitation. Just the thrill of knowing that this connection, however unconventional, is yours to explore. You nod, giving them a small, playful smile.

"I think l'd like that," you say, your voice soft but sure.

Zayn chuckles, reaching out to brush his fingers lightly against the newest mark on your neck. "Good. Because we're not done leaving our mark on you."

Liam steps back, offering you his hand. "We should head inside before someone comes looking for us."

You take his hand, Zayn's fingers grazing your lower back as the three of you slip back into the hotel suite. The sound of laughter and conversation greets you, the others still caught up in their own world, oblivious to what just happened on the balcony.

Zayn leans close one last time before disappearing into the room. "Sleep well, love. We'll see you soon."

Liam flashes you a wink before following Zayn, leaving you standing there, your heart racing and your skin still tingling from their touch. As you glance at the reflection of your neck in the glass door, the faint bruises visible even in the dim light, you can't help but smile.

This is only the beginning.

…

Present day

Armed with two steaming cups of coffee, you make your way to the venue, slipping through the backstage door with practiced ease. The morning buzz of roadies and crew fills the air, and you duck past a stack of cables, balancing the drinks like a pro.

Paul is already on stage, clipboard in hand, barking orders to a tech about the mic setup. You’ve always admired his efficiency—managing the chaos of a world tour is no small feat, and he does it with the ease of someone who’s been at it for decades.

“Morning, Paul!” you call, holding up one of the cups as you approach.

He turns at the sound of your voice, his expression softening when he sees you. “There’s my favorite assistant tour manager,” he says with a warm grin, taking the coffee you hand him. “You’re a lifesaver, you know that?”

“I try,” you reply, smiling as you take a sip of your own drink. “What’s on the agenda for sound check?”

Paul doesn’t answer right away. Instead, his sharp eyes narrow slightly as he takes a longer look at you. His gaze lingers on your neck, and you feel the telltale heat of a blush creeping up your cheeks.

“Did you forget your scarf this morning, or…?” he asks, raising an eyebrow.

You choke on your coffee, hastily setting the cup down on a nearby crate. “What?”

“Don’t ‘what’ me,” Paul says, crossing his arms. “Those.” He gestures vaguely toward your neck. “You’ve got… quite the collection of love bites, kid.”

Your hand flies to your throat, trying to act casual as you brush your fingers over the marks. Damn it. You’d hoped the makeup would last longer. “Oh, uh… it’s not—”

“Don’t even try,” Paul interrupts, his tone walking the line between teasing and stern. “I’ve been around these boys long enough to know what that looks like. And I know Louis would blow a gasket if he saw.”

You laugh nervously, avoiding his gaze. “It’s nothing to worry about, Paul.”

“Nothing to worry about?” he echoes, his voice incredulous. “You’re Louis’ sister. And you’re on my team. That makes it very much my business.”

“Paul,” you groan, but he’s already in full dad-mode, his brow furrowed as he looks you over.

“Look, I don’t need to know who it is,” he says, holding up a hand. “Frankly, I’d rather not. But I swear, if it’s one of those boys—”

“It’s not,” you blurt out quickly, cutting him off before he can finish.

Paul’s expression doesn’t soften. “Good. Because I’d hate to have to kill someone before the tour’s over.”

You can’t help but laugh, though there’s a nervous edge to it. “I promise, Paul. It’s all fine. Nothing to worry about.”

He studies you for a long moment, then sighs, taking another sip of his coffee. “You’re an adult. I get it. Just… be careful, yeah? And for the love of God, get better at hiding those.”

“Noted,” you say, your cheeks burning.

Paul shakes his head, muttering something under his breath about “kids these days” before turning his attention back to his clipboard. “Right,” he says, shifting back into business mode. “Let’s get this sound check sorted. We’ve got a tight schedule today.”

Relieved to have the conversation behind you, you pick up your coffee and follow him toward the stage. But even as you focus on the task at hand, you can’t shake the small smile tugging at your lips.

If only Paul knew just how complicated—and thrilling—your life had become.

…

The venue buzzes with activity as the band prepares for soundcheck. You’re stationed near the edge of the stage, clipboard in hand, scanning the setup while sipping what’s left of your coffee. Paul is somewhere behind the soundboard, barking orders about the drum levels, leaving you to keep an eye on the boys as they warm up.

Louis and Niall are bickering about who gets to stand where during the first song, Harry’s lounging on a speaker scrolling through his phone, and Liam and Zayn are testing their mics. Or at least, they’re supposed to be.

Instead, Liam glances in your direction, his hand resting casually on the mic stand. “Sounding good over there?” he asks, his voice loud enough to carry but soft enough to sound almost… intimate.

You glance up, pretending not to notice the faint smirk playing on his lips. “The sound? Great. You? Questionable.”

His grin widens, and he steps closer to the edge of the stage, his eyes locked on yours. “Harsh, love. You sure you’re not just cranky from missing sleep?”

Your cheeks heat, and you quickly look back at your clipboard. “I’m sure.”

Before you can come up with something sharper, Zayn joins in, his deep chuckle cutting through the hum of the speakers. “Don’t mind her, Liam,” he says, leaning casually on the mic stand. “She’s just overworked. Carrying all of us on her back can’t be easy.”

You narrow your eyes at him, trying to hide your smile. “If that’s your way of apologizing for being late to call time yesterday, it’s not working.”

Zayn presses a hand to his chest, mock-offended. “Late? Me? Never.” His eyes flash with mischief as he lowers his voice, just enough for only you to hear. “Besides, I made up for it last night. Didn’t I?”

Your breath hitches, and your clipboard nearly slips from your grasp. You glare at him, but the smirk on his face tells you he knows exactly what he’s doing.

Liam notices and steps in, his voice smooth as he taps his mic. “You know, Zayn, maybe we should cut her some slack. It’s hard work being this close to perfection all day.”

“Close to something,” you mutter under your breath, earning a soft laugh from Zayn.

“Focus, lads!” Paul’s booming voice echoes through the venue, breaking the moment.

Zayn gives you a wink as he straightens up, his mic in hand. “You heard the boss.”

Liam smirks, his attention lingering on you for a beat longer before he steps back into position. But even as the band starts their warm-up, the heat of their glances doesn’t let up.

During a quick break between songs, Zayn saunters to the side of the stage, crouching just low enough to catch your eye. His voice drops to a murmur, barely audible over the hum of the equipment. “Save me a cigarette for later?”

You arch an eyebrow, pretending to think about it. “If you’re good.”

His grin is wicked, full of unspoken promises. “Oh, I’m always good.”

As he steps back, Liam passes close enough to brush his hand lightly against your arm—a touch so brief you wonder if you imagined it. His voice is low, only for you. “Careful, love. Don’t get caught staring.”

Your heart skips as he moves on, singing the opening lines of the next song like he didn’t just leave you breathless.

You exhale slowly, turning back to your clipboard. Professional. You have to stay professional. But when Zayn glances at you again, and Liam sends you another quick, knowing smile, you realize something very dangerous: they aren’t going to make it easy.

…

The hotel elevator doors slide open, and you step inside, relieved to finally be heading to your room after a long, exhausting day. The relief lasts all of three seconds-because standing there, looking far too casual and far too enticing, are Liam and Zayn.

"Long day?" Zayn asks, leaning lazily against the mirrored wall. His eyes skim over you, slow and deliberate.

"Isn't it always?" you reply, trying to keep your voice steady.

Liam chuckles, his hands tucked into his pockets. "You look like you could use some company."

Your gaze flicks between them, your pulse quickening. There's no mistaking the heat in their eyes. "And let me guess-you're volunteering?"

"Maybe," Zayn murmurs, his lips curving into a smirk. "Depends on if you'd let us."

The elevator hums quietly as it starts to ascend, but the tension in the small space is anything but quiet. Zayn's gaze holds yours, while Liam steps just close enough for you to feel the warmth radiating from him.

"You've been teasing us all day," Liam says, his voice low, his head tilting just slightly.

You're about to protest-when Zayn's hand moves, quick and deliberate, pressing the emergency stop button.

The elevator jolts to a halt, and your heart skips a beat. "What are you-"

"We've got a few minutes before anyone notices," Zayn interrupts, his voice calm but tinged with hunger. He steps closer, his body crowding yours against the cool metal wall. "Thought we'd take advantage of it."

Your breath catches as Zayn's lips find yours, the kiss intense and demanding, his hand cupping the back of your neck to hold you in place. Liam is right there too, his hand brushing your arm as he leans in to murmur in your ear.

"Tell us to stop if you want," Liam says softly, though there's a teasing edge to his tone. "Otherwise, we're not holding back."

You don't even hesitate. "Don't stop."

That's all the permission they need. Zayn's hand slides to your waist, pulling you closer, while Liam's lips graze the side of your neck. His kisses are slow and deliberate, sending shivers down your spine.

"You drive us mad, you know that?" Liam murmurs, his teeth grazing your skin as he leaves a small, deliberate mark. "Walking around like you don't notice what you do to us."

Zayn chuckles against your lips, his voice low and rough. "She notices. She's just good at pretending she doesn't."

Your laugh turns into a soft moan as Zayn kisses down the line of your jaw, his teeth grazing your collarbone. Liam's hands are steady on your hips, holding you in place as he works his way up the other side of your neck, leaving a trail of heat in his wake.

It's overwhelming-the way they touch you, the way they move like they've done this a hundred times before. They're perfectly in sync, taking their time, their lips and hands exploring every inch of you they can reach.

"Gotta be quick," Zayn mutters, though his actions are anything but hurried. His lips find the sensitive spot just below your ear, and you bite your lip to keep from crying out.

Liam presses a kiss to the corner of your mouth, his breath hot against your skin. "You're gonna think about this all night, aren't you?"

You nod, barely able to form words.

Your nod is all the encouragement Liam needs. His lips curl into a smirk against your skin as his hands tighten on your hips, pulling you closer against him. "Thought so," he murmurs, his voice low and full of intent.

Zayn shifts, his lips brushing yours again briefly before he pulls back, his eyes dark and assessing. "Don't hold back, love," he says, his hand sliding down to your waist. His presence is steady and grounding, but it's Liam's touch that sends a fresh wave of heat through you.

One of Liam's hands trails downward, his movements slow and deliberate as he tests your reaction. His fingertips skate over the waistband of your jeans, teasing, before slipping just underneath.

You gasp softly, your head falling back against the elevator wall as Zayn leans in to kiss along your jaw. "Shh," Zayn whispers, his lips grazing your ear. "Don't want anyone to hear, do you?"

Your body feels like it's on fire, torn between the heat of Zayn's mouth and the growing pressure of Liam's hand. His fingers slide lower, past the fabric of your underwear, and you can't stop the soft sound that escapes your lips.

"Quiet," Liam murmurs, his voice a husky whisper against your neck. "Be good for us, yeah?"

Your knees threaten to buckle, but Zayn steadies you, his hands firm on your waist as Liam's fingers begin to move. His touch is confident, knowing exactly where to apply pressure, and you're completely at his mercy.

"God, you're already so wet," Liam says, his tone laced with satisfaction. His lips brush against your temple as his fingers circle just the right spot, drawing another muffled moan from you. "You've been thinking about this all day, haven't you?"

You nod again, barely able to think, let alone speak. Your hands grip Zayn's shirt as you struggle to stay upright, your body trembling under their combined attention.

"Look at you," Zayn murmurs, his voice soft but teasing as his lips trail lower, just above the neckline of your shirt. "So desperate for us."

Liam chuckles quietly, his fingers working you closer and closer to the edge. "You're gorgeous like this," he murmurs, his lips brushing against your jaw. "Let go for us, love."

It doesn't take long before the tension inside you snaps, and you're falling apart in their arms. Liam's fingers don't stop until you're trembling, your breath coming in short, shaky gasps.

When he finally pulls his hand away, he smirks, his thumb brushing your cheek as he steadies you. "That's my girl," he says, his voice filled with quiet pride.

Zayn steps back just enough to meet your gaze, his hand brushing a strand of hair from your face. "Told you we'd take care of you," he says, his grin wicked and full of unspoken promises.

The sound of a distant alarm jolts all of you back to reality, and Zayn quickly presses the emergency button again, restarting the elevator. It hums to life, and you scramble to fix your clothes, your cheeks still flushed.

When the doors slide open, Zayn and Liam step out first, their movements casual as if nothing had happened. But before Liam turns the corner, he glances back at you, his eyes dark and knowing.

"Sleep well," he says softly, his voice still carrying that teasing edge.

The doors slide shut, leaving you alone, your heart still racing and your body still humming from their touch.

You take a deep breath as the elevator hums to the next floor, willing yourself to calm down. The heat in your cheeks still lingers, and your body feels heavy from everything that just happened. You can’t stop thinking about Liam’s touch and Zayn’s smirk, the way they completely unraveled you in just a few stolen minutes.

As the elevator doors slide open, you step out into the hallway, smoothing down your clothes and running a hand through your hair. You just need to get to your room and compose yourself. Maybe splash some cold water on your face.

But your plans crumble the second you round the corner and nearly walk straight into Louis.

“Whoa there!” Louis says, grabbing your shoulders to steady you. His expression quickly shifts from surprised to curious, his eyes narrowing slightly. “Where have you been?”

You force a laugh, brushing him off as casually as you can. “Just grabbing some air.”

Louis crosses his arms, his gaze sharp as he studies you. “Grabbing air, huh? So that’s why your neck looks like a bloody connect-the-dots puzzle?”

Your stomach drops. You bring a hand up to your neck instinctively, your fingertips brushing over the fresh marks Liam and Zayn had left. Damn it.

“It’s nothing,” you say quickly, trying to step past him.

But Louis isn’t having it. He moves to block your path, his expression softening slightly but still full of big-brother concern. “Hey. I’m not mad, alright? But I’ve gotta know—who’s the guy?”

“There’s no guy,” you lie, your voice a little too defensive.

Louis raises an eyebrow, his lips twitching like he’s trying not to laugh. “Right. So you just tripped and fell into someone’s mouth, yeah?”

“Louis!”

“What?” he says, grinning now. “You’re my sister, and it’s my job to give you grief. But seriously…” His tone shifts, becoming quieter, more serious. “You know I’m just looking out for you, right? I don’t want you getting hurt.”

The sincerity in his voice makes your chest tighten. You know he means well, but there’s no way you can tell him the truth—not without it blowing up in everyone’s faces.

“I’m fine,” you assure him, meeting his gaze. “You don’t have to worry.”

Louis studies you for a moment longer, clearly not satisfied with your answer but deciding not to push. “Alright,” he says finally. “But if this mystery guy steps out of line, you tell me. I’ll sort him out.”

You force a smile, nodding quickly. “Got it. Thanks, Louis.”

He steps aside, letting you pass, but his voice follows you down the hall. “And maybe invest in some scarves or something. You’re terrible at hiding evidence.”

You roll your eyes, grateful that he can’t see your face as you unlock your door and slip inside.

Once you’re alone, you let out a shaky breath, leaning against the door. Your mind races, replaying the events of the night and Louis’s reaction. You’ve always been good at keeping secrets, but this one? It’s getting harder and harder to hide.

…

Part 2

[saintundying]

What is your HC about Daniel being a bad father? I love your takes btw!

thank you lol sorry for the times i don't think before hitting post

daniel's life is a cycle of addiction. he seems to have had absentee parents who also struggled with substance abuse. he recreated his childhood, just like armand said he would. his entire focus is on his career, which is another vice. he shows no regard for his safety, and we know this extends to his kids, as indicated by the car seat memory. oh, speaking of, i read the car seat memory as daniel trying to be open about throwing his kid into some unknown car to score drugs and then softened it by going "well, she was in a car seat safe" and his editor went "no, she fucking wasn't lol"

they imply he's clean now, but he's nursing alcohol almost every time he's on screen and chasing this book. man, armand in 2022 reads daniel's addictions like a book, and we've been told he was in only in his head for some four days when he was twenty. i have empathy for him but he’s a tornado.

daniel is vengeful and always needs to be right to the detriment of others. his daughters likely grew up in a household watching their mother(s) endure an onslaught of verbal abuse. they likely experienced it for themselves. he acknowledges he fucked them up, but never offers to relate with louis in this regard. if there's something to give lestat and daniel for a bonding experience, it's a malignant and regretful fatherhood.

i grew up as the child of an addict and i still struggle to cut the cord. he tells louis his daughters have gone no-contact, even knowing he's dying. do you know what has to happen to get to that point? i bet you he even called them up after being diagnosed to elicit some level of sympathy, and was really a selfish attempt to guilt them. i don't believe the daughters are calling him up going, "oh, poor dad, are you okay?” imagine losing their childhood to their father chasing highs, and now he’s going viral throwing a career away that ruined their lives for vampires. it'd likely make them sick and fuel their resentment even more.

he keeps his adult children's childish belongings shoved away in his closet because he never built new memories with them past the age of ten. they’re nearing their fifties. his one good contribution he can give them is 'dying' and getting that 10 mill in their inheritance.

[parmahamlarrie]

Happy September! We are trying something new this month and including my favourite (or one of my favourite) quotes from each fic as I rec it! Let me know if you like it or hate it. I also dived into nearly only short fics this month, but the ones on this list were phenomenal and truly cannot be missed!

🍂 Heat and Greet || @holdingontochaos || 12.4k 🍂 Omegaverse, Alpha Louis, Omega Harry, Friends to Lovers, Co-workers, Travel, Heat Lora has such a talent of writing the give and take of alpha/omega dynamics and it's such a joy to read! "Whether that's because of the glass top bus that allows for really taking in nature, the learning about the history of Sequoias and other trees, or because he's spending unfiltered time with the omega he just happens to be in love with. It could really be any of those reasons... Oh, who he is kidding? Fuck the trees.

🍂 Home Is Nest to You || @ireallysawanangel || 7.3k 🍂 Omegaverse, Alpha Harry, Omega Louis, Time Skips, Hurt/Comfort, Nesting "A thick lump of emotion lodged itself in Louis' throat. No one had ever been so understanding about his nest before..."

🍂 Impactful || @evilovesyou || 2.9k 🍂 Omegaverse, Nesting, Polyamorous Pack, Pack Dynamics, WordPlay '"I read up on it as well,' [Niall] mumbled as he turned a page in his book. 'Some people say it happens when it's true love.' ... 'But that can't be true,' he continued, 'otherwise I would've felt it too.'"

🍂 tonight he's a paradox || @daggerandrose || 2.4k 🍂 Famous/Non Famous, Coachella, Masseuse Louis, Famous Harry "'You never see me wearing a turtleneck because the devil created those. Who wants to be choked by their clothing?' 'I like to be choked.' 'Harold,'"

🍂 and in those rare moments || @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed || 2.1k 🍂 Famous/Non Famous, Exes to Lovers, Singer Harry, Journalist Louis, Unique Structure "I didn’t want to write an album for the fans, or for the general public. This is maybe my most personal album yet, because it’s about self discovery. But I do hope that the listeners can take something from it for themselves, whatever that may be."

🍂 I'd Choose You Over Sleep || @homosociallyyours || 2.1k 🍂 Girl Direction, Fluff, New Relationship, Established Relationship "She figured it would take a while to actually meet someone, though. And then it hadn't."

🍂 I'll Comfort You || @homosociallyyours || 2k 🍂 Omegaverse, Established Relationship, Kidfic, Nesting, Wordplay "When Tilly was born four years ago, her scent wound its way around Louis' heart in a way that only Harry's had before. To say he was keenly attuned to it would be an understatement."

🍂 A Sense of Stability || @neondiamond || 1.9k 🍂 Canon, Established Relationship, Fluff "As he always does, Clifford stays in bed with Louis too, always eager for a lie in with his favourite person. Not that Harry can fault him for it; Louis is his favorite person too, after all."

🍂 Singing Like a Bird 'Bout It Now || @becomeawendybird || 1.8k 🍂 Doctor Louis, Uncle Harry, Kidfic, Meet Cute, Fluff & Humor "'So you're not married?' Oh, god. Louis cringed. That was not what he meant to ask. 'I am so sorry, that was so incredibly-'"

🍂 to suffer || honey_beeing || 1.7k 🍂 Historical, Victorian, Established Relationship, Hurt/Comfort, Hidden Relationship "he sleeps between consciousness and sleep like he's too good for either of them. Perhaps it's what the poets call euphoria."

And for a bit of fun inspired by @starrysaturdays, here are my stats this month!

Words read ~ 174,588 (49% less than Aug)

Number of fics read - 57 (40 more than Aug ~ thanks wordplay)

Number of authors - 27 (80% more than Aug)

You can find past months rec list HERE and you can find a Directory of all the fics I rec HERE!

[nalyra-dreaming]

Wait so Lestat has a biological son? Why was he never mentioned in the show? Unless this happens in a later book/season but can vampires even reproduce since they’re technically dead? Did/will Lestat raise him and does he know Louis too? Will he also become a vampire? I have so many questions istg I learn new book lore every day and it manages to surprise me every time 😭

Oh yes, a biological "almost clone".

And he is never mentioned on the show because he did not exist in Lestat's past... but exists in the future books ("Prince Lestat" and on.).

Viktor is artificially created by Fareed. (Which is also why Fareed's presence in s1 already!!! made me scream and kick my feet, lol.)

Fareed is Seth's (Akasha's mortal son later turned fledgling) fledgling and companion, and both, he and Seth are "healers", scientists and doctors for the vampires. Fareed does a lot of experiments, and one of them was trying to make vampires have sex (by hormonal infusion). Remember, in the books these vampires did not have sex. And, you guessed it, Lestat participated in that little experiment.

The result is Viktor, who grew up with Fareed, Seth and his (later turned) mother, Dr. Flannery Gilman.

Viktor is turned when he is an adult, but he has no fear of the process, nor any apprehension, since he lived with ancient and powerful vampires all his life (Lestat did not know of his existence, Fareed didn't know how to reach him.).

Viktor does know everyone later on, yes.

And... he falls in love with Rose, and they actually get turned after their wedding, not kidding.

Rose is a girl Lestat rescues from a fire by the way, and who he visits and lets grow up. Louis knows of her, because when Lestat is unavailable it is Louis who saves her (from another fire), and brings her to New York (Trinity Gate). And there she meets Viktor.

Louis and Lestat later see them and treat them as family.

I do think that the show is gearing towards their existence in the narrative, since they changed Claudia's backstory to match Rose's (Louis rescuing her), and... well. The change to let them have sex again.... well. Fareed definitely managed that, too. :)))

(I mean, the principal change on the show will not be because of his experiments I guess, but the possibility in canon is definitely there^^)

[lyx-writes]

Hello!

Please can I request some hcs on Louis, Aasim and Kenny with Reader who got bit on the arm🙏

yes you can! apologies for Kenny and Aasim becoming relatively short, they're all really the same.

relationship can be read as romantic or platonic!

☆𝘓𝘰𝘶𝘪𝘴, 𝘈𝘢𝘴𝘪𝘮, 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘒𝘦𝘯𝘯𝘺 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘤𝘵 𝘵𝘰 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘨𝘦𝘵𝘵𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘣𝘪𝘵 𝘰𝘯 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘢𝘳𝘮☆

———————————————————————

Louis

Oh he is PANICKING.

“No no no, you’re kidding right?”

You are NOT kidding.

He’s genuinely upset. The most distraught you’ll ever see him.

As much as he doesn’t want you to lose a limb, if removing your arm could save you… well, let’s take the chance. It worked for Clem and her leg, but who knows.

You lose your arm and you’re in so much pain, and he’s doing his best to comfort you.

In the end, it gets worse. You’re not making it.

You and Louis spend your final moments together, when it’s clear you won’t make it, well… he can’t do it.

He holds your hand with his eyes closed as someone else takes you out.

But if you do survive… well, he does everything within his ability to help you and be by you!

Aasim

He’s trying to stay calm but he’s just as panicked as Louis was

Like Louis, as much as he’d hate to remove your arm, it’s the best thing they can do at the moment.

Doing his best to assure you that you’d be fine, and he helps in the removal.

He realizes you’re not making it. And he’s quick to say it.

You two talk for a bit. He tells you the things he’s fond of, you tell him your fond memories. It’s bittersweet.

He’s scared, he doesn’t want to do it. But, if you want him to be the one to end your suffering, he’ll do it.

He’s so, so guilty.

Kenny

Oh come on, he’s fucking destroyed.

First his kid, his wife, a good friend, his next girlfriend, and now you?

The first to bring up hacking off your arm. He’ll do it no hesitation

When that doesn’t work, he’s down to be the one to take you out.

He’s so hesitant. He doesn’t want you to suffer, but he just can’t bring himself to pull the trigger.

A string of “I’m so sorry”s leave him, before and after you’re gone.

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of One Direction fics that show a healthy relationship dynamic as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics, please leave the writers kudos and comments! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

- Louis / Harry -

☁️ Of Mates and Men by @bananaheathen

(E, 630k, wedding) In which, Louis and Harry meet as best men for their best friends' wedding... well... sort of. Or, the one where Harry's just moved back from New York and Louis doesn't believe in romance. Or, I guess... the one where Zayn and Liam are getting married.

☁️ Relief Next To Me by dolce_piccante / @haydolce

(E, 333k, fwb) AU. What happens when a baker and a graphic designer meet via a very specific Craigslist post? Fate, friendship, food, and maybe more.

☁️ Have Love, Will Travel by @kingsofeverything

(E, 97k, road trip) Rather than spend the summer working at their desks, Louis and Harry are given the opportunity to crisscross the country together in a tiny camper, filming their adventures for a YouTube series.

☁️ No Control Club (series) by @sadaveniren

(E, 96k, bdsm) Harry, a popular BDSM blogger, writes a negative review about Louis’ club. Louis wants to have a chance to make it up to him.

☁️ My Kind of Rain by @lululawrence

(NR, 30k, musicians) the Tim McGraw/Faith Hill AU where Louis is Tim, Harry is Faith, and just when Louis thinks he is going to get some rest, his entire world turns upside down thanks to the man with curly hair and the voice that seems to sing right to Louis' heart.

☁️ The Sunshine Stays by QuickedWeen / @becomeawendybird

(E, 15k, canon) They're enjoying a much more relaxed schedule the second time around, allowing themselves to bask in married life. Until, one day, Louis surprises Harry on vacation, and there are some surprising consequences.

☁️ Let Me Be Your Everlasting Light by Layne Faire / @laynefaire

(M, 11k, Northern Lights) Harry arranges a trip to Norway as a gift for Louis, but little does Louis know Harry is also hoping to make his own dream come true, too.

☁️ I Can't Hear You by kikikryslee / @flamboyantommo

(E, 9k, omegaverse) the one where Harry is self-conscious about his body because it's not the 'typical omega body' and Louis shows him why he loves that.

☁️ There's a Ring in the House by YesIsAWorld / @louandhazaf

(M, 3k, proposal) Louis knows Harry is going to propose. He's terribly impatient about it.

☁️ Changing Weather (For Worse or For Better) by @haztobegood

(M, 3k, established relationship) Five times it's raining and one time it stops.

☁️ I Choose You by @disgruntledkittenface

(NR, 3k, established relationship) Louis is exhausted during a busy time at work. After a long commute home, the last thing he expects is for Harry to have a surprise for him.

☁️ Gonna Dress You Up In My Love by @fallinglikethis

(T, 3k, humor) Harry decides to take up knitting. He's horrible at it. Louis wears everything anyway.

☁️ The Future's in Our Hands by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(G, 2k, humor) Louis loves a good idea, a good invention. He's always ready to try out the next project. His husband would maybe just like him to wait until morning.

☁️ The Nearness of You by theweightofmywords / @lil0

(M, 2k, mpreg) Harry and Louis' baby is due any moment. Harry just wants pretty toenails, and Louis just wants to help.

☁️ If Wishes Were Dishes by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(T, 2k, living together) Why is Harry doing his dishes? He must be mad at Louis. He must be absolutely livid at the way Louis is living his life as a slob.

☁️ Sugary Sweet by @neondiamond

(G, 1k, kid fic) Harry and Louis’ daughter knows exactly how to get what she wants, Harry is pregnant, and Louis is the best husband ever.

- Rare Pairs -

☁️ a little tenderness by @disgruntledkittenface

(NR, 10k, Niall/Harry) Harry’s never been around an omega in depri as bad off as Niall looks; most of the time, there’s an alpha friend or family member who can help out with scenting and physical contact. Oh.

☁️ two languages, one love by @nouies

(NR, 3k, Louis/Cillian Murphy) The three times Louis speaks to Cillian in Spanish, and the one time he finally gets a response.

☁️ Fine Line by LadyAJ_13 / @ladyaj-13

(G, 1k, Louis/Nick Grimshaw) Telling his family was always going to be a big deal, but doing it alone was a sacrifice he could make. He never thought they’d fall about laughing.

[thatsdemko]

you belong with me - l.hamilton

t- swift inspired works masterlist

full masterlist & part two full masterlist

requested: n

pairings: Lewis Hamilton x fem!reader

warnings: hints of jealousy

a/n: I SEE TAYLOR SWIFT TODAY!!! so in typical fashion, here’s a Taylor swift inspired work!

Dreaming about the day when you wake up and find

That what you're looking for has been here the whole time

Lewis Hamilton is known for his infamous amounts of connections. from the Latina pop singer shakira all the way to lebron james; Lewis Hamilton has connections and it’s no surprise to you that he’d date someone famous.

you expected it this whole, having grown up with him you know him from his favorite songs, to the wild dreams he’s had as a kid. he didn’t tell this stuff to just anyone, only his best friend. and that’s all you’ve ever known yourself to be.

Lewis Hamiltons best friend.

the girl on the phone that’s got him upset doesn’t know that he can’t live without looking at photo of Roscoe before bed. she doesn’t know he’s accidentally called your mom his mother. and she most certainly does not know that you dream of being his. you keep that to yourself.

it’s almost slipped. constructors cups, world championships, or pole positions. they’ve all almost led to those words sneaking out your lips.

you were so sure he didn’t feel the same way. he didn’t look at you like he did with Versace models or when dua lipa asked him for photo. you politely stand to the side with a smile on your face as the cameras flash into his sunglasses. why can’t that be you by his side? why cant you just toughen up and tell him?

oh that’s right, because he’s in love with another girl.

—

“hey, sorry about last night. I really let that argument get out of control.” he plops down on the patio furniture. he places a friendly pat against your thigh before quickly pulling his hands into his lap, “we worked things out now, she’s coming in tomorrow.”

“for the race?” you ask beginning to fiddle with the cap on your water bottle. you weren’t opposed to his new girlfriend joining you in the paddock, but you certainly wouldn’t be joining her in the garage. not with the way she made him feel yesterday.

he nods wrapping his arm around the back of the cushions, pulling himself closer to you, “I think you guys will get along. will you promise to be nice to her?”

“lew, of course I will.”

he laughs, “and don’t call me that in front of her. I’m really trying to impress, I think she could be the one.” his elbow nudges your arm, jokingly. he always loves the nicknames, especially since that one was from childhood when the letter ‘s’ was hard for you.

“I’ll call you whatever I want to.” you let out a hmph as you lean further against the cushions, slightly into his arms trying to pass on the hint. you’re sure he doesn’t notice it, he hasn’t for all these years what will change?

—

she shows up decked in Gucci and Louis Vuitton, things you could never afford. you feel small and out of place beside her, in your jean shorts and one of Lewis’ old Mercedes t-shirts. your personalities are so different, and maybe she was more fit for him. after all, they did meet at a fashion show and you met him on the playground kicking up dirt.

“good luck!” she calls out from beside you, arm waving in the air trying to catch his attention, but it’s useless. he’s too zoned in to pay attention, the race is the only thing that matters to him in this moment.

the only person he locks eyes with, is you. it’s usually right before he slides the visor down and he always does it. you never miss a race, which means he never gets superstitious, but today you’re not there. your placement is somebody else— a nobody to be precise, someone who will mess up his game.

If you could see that I'm the one

Who understands you

Been here all along

that’s what in it really does hit him. that he could have any girl or person in his garage, but the one person that matters is you. the one person he cares about isn’t standing there like you’re supposed to be.

so when he crosses that finish line in third place, he doesn’t celebrate the top ten win with her, he goes to find you. the person who he belongs with.

Standing by and waiting at your backdoor

All this time how could you not know, baby?

You belong with me

You belong with me

[sirfrogsworth]

It was 1991. I was 10. And the other white kids at my Catholic elementary school started getting into rap. And I always thought if I did what my bullies did, they would bully me less. So I got a cassette tape of Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch and the new "Hammer" album. He dropped the "MC" part of his name because he wanted to be taken more seriously as an artist and too many sketch comedy shows had made fun of parachute pants by that point.

So he was just Hammer.

Apparently I screwed up because they only liked the white rappers. Because they were all a bunch of little proto-racists. But that pretty much limited you to Marky Mark and Vanilla Ice. But I liked the way MC Hammer danced so I picked that out at the music shop.

Other things I tried to get on the good side of my bullies...

I learned how to play hockey (which I ended up really liking).

I had my parents get me a White Sox Starter hat. It had to be from that brand though. And despite being in St. Louis, it had to be the White Sox. For some reason it was cooler to root for a non-local team at the time. I guess that was the extent of edgy counterculture for 10 year olds.

I got shoes that had little air pumps in the tongue. You'd press a little basketball and it would inflate the top of your shoe.

Oh, and you had to get this Adidas jacket.

This was fun because it came in a bunch of colors but I got black just to be safe.

The Adidas jacket was my last attempt to get on the good side of my bullies. One of them took apart an ink pen and dropped it in my hood. I spent all day with it just jostling around and spreading ink everywhere. When I came home at night my mom noticed the entire hood was stained with ink. I cried my eyes out and she tried her best to clean it. And I think I got mad at her when she couldn't. I asked her to buy me a new jacket but I'm pretty sure they couldn't really afford to buy me that one to begin with. She assured me you couldn't even tell and no one would notice if I never used the hood. But the bully who did it knew and pointed it out the next day. And they all made fun of me for my ruined jacket.

I think it finally dawned on my tiny squishy brain that I would never appease these jerks no matter what I did. No matter how much I tried to fit in. And that's when I had the discussion with my parents to switch schools. They told me the only other option was public school. They worried there would be a lot more kids able to bully me. Because I was a weird kid and said weird things. But I wanted to try it. Plus, it probably saved them a bunch of money in tuition. My bullies all told me I was going to get stabbed because of the Black kids. But, in reality, it was the best decision I ever made.

It took me a little while to adjust. I had been so traumatized at my previous school that I had trouble controlling my emotions. So I would cry at the drop of a hat. And one of my teachers got upset with me because I'd cry if I got a bad grade or if I forgot my homework. One time my dog actually ate my homework and she didn't believe me and I cried, so my parents had to write a note for me.

But eventually I learned I was not actually a big weirdo as my bullies had said. I was funny. And I made people laugh. And they liked laughing. And it turns out, if you entertain people, they don't want to make fun of you anymore.

What was I talking about?

HAMMER!

Yes, that was my first CD.

And I liked 1 song on it.

Because Hammer got too serious and I wanted parachute pants.

[marlikesunicorns]

do you think 14 year old general Louis was like Ciel Phantomhive, having people all the time saying he's just a brat and having to shed some blood to prove otherwise. (spoilers below)

I'd so love to read about his adventures as a young boy, in the game it's mostly just said oh yeah he was a child military genius and that's it but like, imagine the possibilities!

whatever scraps of army that listened to him for the first time must've been in such a dire situation that they were like "fine, let's listen to the strategy of the kid, we're dead anyway." and then they must've been so shocked to actually live and win. plus I imagine little Louis was also shocked, I doubt he just got out his burned down village and said "imma become general", it seems more plausible he joined the army and realized that to him most people are idiots after.

then everyone must've been flabbergasted to meet him for the first time after hearing of his accomplishments. like that scene in Book of Murder in Black Butler, someone who already knew Louis could've been like

"ah yes, the Count. he's very serious. he looks bored and has a scowl on his face most of the time. try not to get on his bad side."

and the person who doesn't know him yet is terrified out of their minds but then it's just an adorable tiny child with fluffy blond hair.

someone please write a fic someday (⁠〒⁠﹏⁠〒⁠) au in which the assassination to the prince fails and the king asks Louis to abandon his duties to be exclusively responsible of the safety of Will, anyone?

[twopoppies]

I wanted to get your opinion on the oh so touchy subject of bbg. I know it is an old topic to cover and I have looked at quite a bit of information. But I wanted input from someone who has had their pulse on the fandom and even how it has been evolving over time. Is there any way that this thing resolves that doesn’t make Louis look bad? I mean, how does it not raise suspicion if the truth comes out, even with a “less controversial” narrative surrounding it? People having been saying this for years so if it turns out to be revealed that he is not a father, I can’t imagine that even the ones who believed his words in recent years may not pause and wonder. Because that would be a heck of a coincidence, even if you slap a “paternity miscalculation” stamp on it. And then it seems like it would force him to address the “why doesn’t a multimillionaire get a paternity test done when a fling supposedly claims to be preggo”? I guess what I am wondering is we know those who knew all along will probably stick by him and just be relieved the truth is out and maybe try and raise some money for the kid’s therapy. But how do you think that would affect the part of the fandom that has rabidly defended him being a father if it was ever revealed that he is not?

Well, that's the question we've been asking since 2021 and the return of Daddy Daddy Cool. Do these new fans offer him the same level of assurance of continued support as his diehard long-time fans? I don't know. A lot of them seem very young, and I can see them just getting bored and moving on to something else. They're not as invested in him as a person as those of us who've supported him through all the ups and downs. I truly don't know why he's made Freddie such a "thing" with this fandom other than to make himself look really invested so that when it ends, people don't put two and two together.

Right now, the only thing I can picture is him "finding out" he's not the father and being "devastated" about it, so he doesn't want to talk about it. It's easy enough to blacklist. That way fans who listen to everything he says will simply believe the narrative just like they do now. The fans who knew he wasn't a dad will celebrate and gloat for a bit and then move on. As for the rest, I think some are just going to leave, and some may become larries or solos.

The idea that he was duped by a girl he "dated" into believing he was a dad and she bilked him out of a bunch of money is a lot easier for people to accept than it is to agree that he was set up by his label because he's in a long term queer relationship with their golden goose and that he knew all along the child wasn't his and he went out of his way to lie about it for years. I think that's really, really hard for people to accept. So, when BBG ends, don't expect there to be a big come clean thing where the "bad guys" get their comeuppance. He's going to have this as a footnote for his career forever (or maybe up until he comes out, assuming he will).

[the-froschamethyst4]

Reality Check

𖤐Pairing: Husband! Soap x Wife! Raeder

𖤐Pronouns: She/Her

𖤐Warnings: fluff, angst, harsh language, spoiled brat, married couple, slight comparing to siblings, arguing, happy ending,

𖤐Summary: Your young daughter hangs out with the wrong crowd and your oldest child gives her a bit of a reality check

————

————

Kiara was surrounded by her 'friends' at lunch. Kiara was a 7th grader in middle school. Her mom and dad were able to get her to the same school her older went to.

A high-end private school.

Her older brother Ryker held a good reputation in the school and everyone knew Kiara because of Ryker.

But Kiara was just making herself look stupid hanging out with these type of girls and not girls that actually wanna be her friends. What I mean is Kiara hangs out with the rich, spoiled brat, daddies money girls.

They pack around Louis Vuitton bags, Gucci belts holding up their skirts, end up makeup, and high end skin care that they don't need but yell at their parents for.

Kiara didn't have that, she'd be lucky if she even got the latest new phone. Her mom worked as an assistant to a Law Firm and her dad was in the Military and wasn't home a lot, so her mom was doing a lot of the work.

A mom working 40 hours a week, barely a husband that comes home. Ryker sometimes had to step in and be a parent a few times. But he doesn't blame his parents. They're just busy people and try to be there for their kids.

Kiara laughed with her 'friends' as they made fun of the group of girls who liked to play video games. Kiara deep down liked to play video games, but stopped to fit in with her friends.

"Oh, girls, I'm having a sleepover, tomorrow, for my birthday, don't forget to bring gifts," her friend Lily says. Lily was like...Regena George, popular and rich and everyone 'liked' her.

Not really

The girls giggled as Kiara just smiled at Lily.

"Bring expensive gifts," Lily emphasized on the word expensive.

Kiara didn't have any of her own money, and Y/n was strict on what to buy for a 12-13 year-old.

"Oh I already know what I'm bringing."

"Same."

"Yeah, you're going to LOVE it, Lily."

"Kiara?"

"Huh?"

"Are you coming?" Lily asked, placing her hand on her arm after she got done picking at her newly fresh nails.

"Yeah, I think so...I'd-"

"Have to ask your mom?" Lily mocked Kiara. Kiara used to say she'd have to ask her mom a lot and Lily was tired of it and 'taught' Kiara how to do whatever she wants without her mom knowing, but her mom was good, she knows almost everything that Kiara is up to.

"No," Kiara says. "Nah, fuck my mom, I'll come, I'll catch a ride," Kiara says.

"Good."

The girls kept talking as Kiara rubbed her arm.

---------

2:30PM

"MAMA! I'M HOME!!" Kiara yells from downstairs and kicked her shoes off at the front door.

"She's not home," Ryker came around the corner with an apple in his hands.

"Is she at work?"

"She was just called in, I got home an 1 hour ago and she was asked to come in," he says.

"Oh good, can you take me to the mall?"

"Why?" Ryker questioned her.

"Because it's Lily's birthday tomorrow and I want to get her a gift," Kiara says, placing her bag on a bar stool.

"Who cares, and mom won't let you go."

"She won't have to know, if you just take me."

"Hell no, I'm not taking you."

"WHY NOT!?" Kiara yells.

"Because mom hates Lily, you know this, but yet you still choose to be friends with her."

"Because Lily is nice to me."

"She treats you like a slave, Kiara," Ryker tells her.

"No, she doesn't."

"Did she say get an expensive gift?" Ryker raised his eyebrow.

"Yeah and?"

"With what money are you going to get her an expensive gift?"

"You can help me-"

"Fuck no, Kiara!"

"THIS IS SO UNFAIR!!"

"HOW IS IT UNFAIR!?"

"Because why do I bother going to some fancy private rich kid school if I can't even get expensive things?"

"You should be fucking lucky you even got into that school, Kiara. Mom and dad worked their asses off just to get you thought the fucking door," Ryker tells her.

"Kids?"

"Dad," both kids say at the same time.

"Where's your mom?"

"Work, she got called in-dad tell Kiara she can't go to Lily's house tomorrow."

"Lily?" Soap was confused.

"She's some girl that treats Kiara like a slave."

"SHE DOES NOT!! OH MY FUCKING GOD, RYKER!!"

"HEY!" Soap yells at his daughter. "What the hell did you just say?" Kiara knew she fucked up when the word slipped past her lips.

"Dad-"

"Room. now. When your mom comes home, we're having a discussion," Soap points to the stairs and Kiara had hot tears in her eyes and rushed upstairs and Soap heard her door slam shut. "What the hell was going on?" Soap asked, Ryker.

--------

9:00PM

Y/n had come home, taking her heels off at the front door and saw Soap coming towards her.

"Soap," she smiles at him, she placed her hands on his forearms kissing his lips.

"Hi, love," he says into the kiss. "We have a bit of an issue."

"What kind of issue?" She asked.

---------

Ryker had explained everything, Y/n and Soap went upstairs to their daughters bedroom. Y/n knocked and heard a low grumble. She opens the door and both parents walk in.

"Kiara?"

"I'm tired...leave me alone..."

"Sit up, Kiara," Soap says, a bit stern, Y/n placed her hand on his shoulder as a 'calm down.'

"Kiara, I want to know from you what happened?" Y/n asked.

"Fine," Kiara sits up. "I HAVE A RICH FRIEND, WHO WANTS AN EXPENSIVE BIRTHDAY GIFT BUT I CAN'T EVEN GET IT FOR HER BECAUSE I HAVE NO MONEY AND NONE OF YOU ARE GOING TO HELP ME GET IF FOR HER!"

"Is this rich friend, Lily? You know how I feel about Lily-"

"MOM! PLEASE! I DON'T CARE, SHE IS MY FRIEND!"

"Kiara if you don't stop yelling at your mother-" Y/n stops Soap.

"Kiara Amelia McTavish," Kiara knows the full name isn't a good sign. "You are a lucky girl, you wanna know why?"

"Why mom?" Kiara asked a bit annoyed.

"Because," Y/n walks into the bedroom and sat next to Kiara. "You have a mom and dad that loves you, an older brother that paved the way for you for middle school, but...I am tired of you coming home and asking for outrageous things...last week you asked for a Prada bag-"

"A month ago, you asked for a Gucci belt," Soap joins in.

"This isn't you asking for outrageous and expensive thing."

"Then what is the point of going to a rich kid school, if we're poor?"

"For an education, and we're not poor," Soap says. "We just don't think a 13-year-old needs such expensive things, your brother doesn't even have such expensive things..."

"Why do you think you want them, Kiara?" Y/n asked, placing her hand on Kiara's back.

"Because I want to fit in with my friends, they all have expensive things and carry the most expensive and luxury things, I want to fit in, I feel out of place when I sit with them at lunch," Kiara says.

"Kiara, you are an amazing and smart young girl, you shouldn't need expensive things to feel like you need to fit in...aren't there other girls at the school that don't have expensive things?"

"Yeah but...Lily hates them, she makes fun of them all the time, if I leave the friend group to have those girls as my friends, Lily won't speak or hang out with me."

"Who cares, Kiara."

"Ryker-"

"No mom, I'm sorry, but I am so tired of hearing, Kiara only talk about Lily and what Lily wants, she never thinks about her own feelings only Lily's. Kiara, she treats you like a slave. You are my little sister and I am tired of this Lily girl."

"I agree with Ryker," Soap says.

Kiara rolled her eyes at her family.

"Kiara," she looks at her mom. "I want you to do the right thing...okay?"

"Whatever."

"Till then, you're grounded," Soap says.

"WHAT WHY!?"

"Because of the yelling at your mother and cussing at me." She rolled her eyes again. "And for rolling your eyes at us," Soap and Ryker left her bedroom as Y/n moved her daughter dark brown hair from her face and kissing her temple.

"I know you'll do the right thing, Kiara," she says, getting off the bed and heading to her bedroom to change from her work clothes.

--------

Kiara was laying on her stomach on her phone and having her laptop play a random YouTube video. She was on Amazon looking at gifts for Lily, but she shuts her phone off and tossed it on her pillow.

She falls on her back and looked up at the ceiling.

"I'm not going tomorrow," Kiara says as she walked into the dinning room, Ryker was eating leftover spaghetti.

"Okay?" Ryker says as he was still eating.

"Where's mom and dad?"

"Eating out, tonight, date night," he says.

"Are they bring anything back?"

"Maybe, this is just to hold me over till they get back," he says picking at the leftovers. "So you made up your mind?"

"Yeah...you were right..." she hates to admit that to him, since Ryker has a 'big ego' as Kiara says. "Lily is a bitch."

"Aren't you grounded for cursing?"

"You gonna snitch to dad?"

"No," he smirks.

--------

Y/n and Soap came back kicking their shoes off at the front door and seeing Ryker on the couch watching TV and Kiara on her phone.

"We brought some food back," Y/n says, placing a plastic bag of food on the marble counter. Kiara and Ryker jump off the couch and started to open the bag and pulling out their food.

"Thanks," Ryker says for the both of them.

"Kiara," Soap opens his hand, letting her know she shouldn't have her phone. She groans and slaps her phone on his palm. "You'll get it back later."

"When's later?"

"Friday," he says. She tossed her head back knowing she'll have to wait a week to get her phone back.

Ryker smirks and Kiara punched his arm. Y/n just giggled at her kids.

After a while Soap and Y/n were snuggled against each other watching their favorite show as Ryker was in his room playing video games and Kiara was scrolling on her laptop.

She then saw in the bottom corner a notification from Lily to the group chat. She opened the message and read it.

Lily: The party is actually going to be at our Lake house Here's the address

Jade: OMG it's huge, I'm DEFINITLY coming

Angel: Oh yes! I'll so be there

Lily: Kiara, are you coming?

Kiara started to type and she knows everyone could see bubbles popping up letting them know she was typing, but she stops before she hits send and started to backspace it.

She left the group chat and started to watch her YouTube again.

Then the notifications started to pour in. Them asking her questions if she changed her mind, did she forget she was typing and then a personal message from Lily popped up making Kiara click it and see.

Lily: Hey, saw you were texting in the group chat, the location changed to my lake house, are you coming, if so can you bring snacks and soda?

Kiara: Actually Lily, I'm not Have someone else bring your snacks and soda, ask Angel or something, I'm not coming

Lily: Did you not ask your mom or something? Did your brother say no on the ride? I can send our butler out there to go get you

Kiara: Fuck no, keep your butler away from my house, I have made up my mind to not come to your lame ass birthday party

Lily: WHAT!? KIARA MCTAVISH WE ARE NO LONGER FRIENDS AND I DON'T WANT YOU SITTING WITH US AT LUNCH!!!

Kiara: Fine by me, bitch

Kiara blocked Lily's number along with the rest of the 'friends' numbers. She closed her laptop and got under the covers and fell asleep.

--------

Monday

Kiara saw her old friends eating and laughing and Lily was showing off her new gifts.

Kiara looked past the group and saw the girls that played video games just behind them playing on their switches and seeing like they were having fun together.

Kiara put on a brave face and walked past her old group of friends to the other girls.

Lily and the others all gave Kiara a nasty look as she passed them but she ignored their stares and glares and mentally imagined herself flipping off Jade, sticking her tongue out at Angel and slapping the shit out of Lily.

"Hi."

"Oh hi, Kiara."

"Can I sit with you?"

"Sure," the girl moved over letting Kiara sit next to her as Kiara placed her bag between her feet and placed her lunch on the metal table.

"Have you ever played this?" She asked Kiara.

"No," Kiara shakes her head.

"Here, try it," she gives Kiara her switch and showed Kiara how to play it. "Wow, you did that so easily."

"I use to play video games," she says.

"Here..." she writes down her number and gives it to Kiara. "We should play together sometime."

"I'd like that," Kiara gives her a soft smile and saved her number.

[louisisalarrie]

Hey how are u? I really like your point of view so I want to ask you few things that my brain frequently think about.

I’m pretty sure that sooner or later bbg will be unmasked, so how they will handle this? They created Louis’ public image around this baby. They painted him like the perfect father who obv love a lot his child.

I think that the shitstorm where his fans will throw him in will be bigger than everything. You know what I mean his solo fans paint him like the most loyal person in the world who trust his fans a lot and would never betray them. So I’m quite sure that they will start to throw shit on him, plus they’re so obsessed over this poor baby and I see a lot of them saying that if louis is not the father they will leave him cause he is just a gross person who lies to fans.

So, how will they managed it without throw him into a very big shitstorm? Plus when it will happen definitely all will be connect to the Larry situation so: when they do it, will he do also a coming out?

I don’t see it happen without a coming out, because the speculation would be so much bigger than ever and everyone would start saying that Larries were right since the beginning and that he’s a horrible person using a child…

I don’t know I don’t see a easy happy ending :(

okie dokie anon, im gonna answer this in the best way I know how, and tag it a little differently to usual so everyone knows where to find my theories on how they’re gonna end bbg/what’s the best way to end it without ruining louis’ career. anon, welcome to the show sweetcheeks!

After the absolute shit show of a smear campaign that was pushed onto Louis in 2015, of clubbing and being a gross fuckboy taking a million girls home every night, they had to repair said image when they decided this kid was actually gonna be born (in my theory it was Belfast) because to continue on with fuckboy louis when he has a child on the way further down the pregnancy/child is born, it would’ve looked even more fucking worse for one d’s demographic and louis’ image would be irreparable. His image has always hung off family values and long term relationships too, so it’s not super crazy to think “oh, louis has had his fun and now it’s serious he’s gonna buckle down and be a great dad because of his upbringing/family values and he’s a wonderful guy” etc, ya know? Plus the vast majority of one d fans at the time were Larries, we saw through the bullshit and we saw this behaviour wasn’t louis. Mgmt were like “ok if we’re actually gonna see this through, if there’s actually gonna be a child in the picture, he’s gonna have to be a present and loving dad”. It just would’ve been too off brand for him to not be. Hell, the whole fuckboy Louis thing was off brand for him, but they started that, and then had to fucking fix it because an actual child was gonna be born into this mess.

Anyway so louis’ buzzing (looks like he’d rather set himself on fire) and we get heaps of baby content on Insta/from B and her clan etc to really bring it home that louis cares about this kid. This kid is his life and he will do everything he can to be there for it because he’s a good guy (which like… it this was real, they would’ve covered up this baby real quick and silenced the mother and that’s the biggest fucking fault they made in my opinion, shit makes no sense). So yeah, fake baby, happy dad, family values. Cool, alright let’s go.

You are very correct in saying they’ve made louis being a dad a major element in his image. He’s pretty private otherwise, but boy does he love this kid! Which if we base this on how it was meant to end in 2016 with a DNA test so he’d be out free, which didn’t happen for a few reasons, the kid is now older and a paternity test should’ve been taken far earlier and louis’ trying to figure out himself in a solo career and working hard on music and it’s all too much. Not to mention he signed his fucking rights away to SC and still had to deal with this all. But I digress. They didn’t end bbg then, and he didn’t want such a scandal to hinder the beginning of his career because that’s what he’d be known for when starting out as a solo artist. “Oh did you hear about that dude from one direction? His kid isn’t actually his! Holy shit!” would just be on repeat anywhere and everywhere and something like that doesn’t really die down that quick in the media. It just would’ve jumped him off the wrong way after dealing with the heartbreak of his mum passing etc., so things are a little chaotic for him to deal with that as well. (Then the bbg contract gets amended and SC gives him publicity with the X Factor etc, but I won’t get into the contracts side of it right now).

Cool cool cool. So. He’s gonna look like a shit dude for chucking this baby in the spotlight if he’s known for ages. Everyone’s gonna hate him for lying to them. He’s gonna lose his fans. He’s not gonna be able to promo himself for a while because he’ll be “devastated”. Now, let’s have a look at how this can end with fan and GP sympathy on his side, and how they can spin this in a good way.

Now, hear me out.

We’ve talked about a few ways, but the best way to dig him out of this shit show, is simply to go down the paternity route. It just is.

Situation 1: louis and b go to court over F. this works perfectly in his current no music or tour timeframe. It keeps him relevant in the papers while he’s off, and also gives him the excuse to grieve or whatever. This is 100% the best way to do it but it drags it out so long.

- Louis, who is now on break, wants to spend more time with his beloved son little lad, and wants to take him away from B for a while to live in the UK with him and his family for an extended holiday/spend some quality time. B is withholding his son from him and he isn’t allowed to be with him for extended periods of time because B doesn’t like his lifestyle (partying, smoking, etc.)

Or

- maybe B decides Louis’ doing really well in his career so she wants more child support money. He’s getting older, more expensive, and this was all louis’ doing. He took B home, he’s also a multi millionaire, he should be paying way more than what he is!

- maybe B gets married or a long term serious boyfriend and he wants to adopt F because louis’ lifestyle doesn’t allow him to be present as much as he wants to.

Or something else ridiculous that they go to court over. In this theory, they need to go to court 100%.

So, they’re in court over whatever, and B goes “hey well I was actually sleeping with someone else around that time too, I want a paternity test” (because she never pushed for one because she saw $$$) and louis takes one and BAM, he’s actually not F’s father. Holy shit.

So why did a multimillionaire famous boyband member in his early 20’s who was clearly loving partying not demand a paternity test early one? Well, he never bothered to ask because he trusted B. They’d actually been seeing each other for longer than initially thought (like some articles mentioned back in the day LOL) but didn’t want to introduce her to the public because he knows 1d fans would eat her alive and the whole Larry thing etc., so he trusts her. He’s also just a really good dude, sees the best in everyone, trusted her and copped it on the chin and said well yeah… im gonna help raise this dude because I’ve always wanted a son and I have big family values and I fucked up. I’m mature. I’m a good example of what women should look for in a man.

So then shit… the fans and GP find out and he cops the public sympathy and everyone feels sorry for him. This is heartbreaking, he loves that kid so much and now he’s found out he’s not really his dad. The fans are devastated, the GP goes “well it’s stupid he didn’t get one earlier on but this is still really awful for him, poor guy. He’s too nice for his own good, and he was just a kid. Maybe he didn’t think about it. He’s so brave to say this. Heart on his sleeve” etc etc like it’s really not hard to make the GP and fans feel bad for you, even tho some folks may think he was an idiot for not getting one earlier on (which like.. that’s how it was meant to end but it was extended), everyone who’s scrutinised bbg has thought the same at some point. So, anyway, you see what I mean here? This situation ends with him looking like just a silly loving trusting guy, with a big heart. Solos will eat that shit up. I promise you. Anyway, F fades into the background and we don’t see any more content of him. He just… disappears. No one’s gonna question that. F isn’t his son, and he wants to give the kid and B privacy now. A classic example of being a good guy.

So like, this situation also upholds the idea that he’s straight. He’s had sex with a woman, it’s just this kid isn’t his. Anyway, sorted, case closed and we alll eventually move on. It does drag it out but my god does it truly spin some sympathy for him. But if he wants it over and done with quick, this wouldn’t be the way.

Situation 2: louis has known for a while, but him and B are really good friends so he’s helped raise F and helped with funds because the dad left and he wanted to be there for the kid. This brings out the lying factor though, but he truly does feel like a dad!!! He knows what it’s like to not have a father figure there, he wants to give the kid a good life, he’s taken on the role of his dad and he has the money to support B and F, so why wouldn’t he? You know, he has family values. So yeah, he wasn’t lying out of hate, and F knew all along he wasn’t his real dad either, but he gave this kid a great life. Anyway, B gets married or whatever, louis goes “im still gonna be there for F but I trust this guy and he loves F and my career is taking off even further and I can’t be there for him all the time and this guy really wants to be a dad, I’ll step back”. This also works well in terms of good guy louis, and he loves F so much. Public and fan sympathy, a little anger towards the lying but truly he’s just did what he could. He helped B out and now F has a strong and fantastic father figure in his life. Sorted, done. This can be done through an Insta live or a post of him and F explaining stuff, and F fades from the picture. Still upholds the sex with women, but he did get a paternity test ages ago, he’s just a good guy. Anyway, that also works.

You also have a spin on the above situation too though, to make it easier for a coming out. Louis and B never had sex. He’s just a long term good friend of hers and took on that role. He’s always been gay/he never fucked her. Having this onto it, really leaves it a bit more open ended. This is really the only kind of solution to say “hey I’ve been with Harry this whole time and bbg wasn’t a stunt” ya know? Still believable, a bit more murky, but if done well it ends it quicker than a court case. Still looks good for him. Plus, he can say how long he was with Harry and that they wanted to keep their relationship private because they were nervous to come out and yeah. Cool. That’s also done.

The fans might be angry about that one, but it still swings it well. I don’t think they’re gonna hate him. He might lose a few but… yeah. He’s always gonna when he comes out anyway. Yeah. The above is two birds one stone.

Situation 3: it was all a stunt. they just reveal absolutely everything. That’s it.

He’ll lose the most fans by doing this, but also… he’ll gain a lot of public sympathy. Whatever way they end bbg, he will be on the side of public and fan sympathy. He’s always gonna end up with some kind of hate when coming out, but so will Harry. It just… is what it is. Harry’s process has just been a lot smoother without a kid tied to him. But with the screaming of how shit the music industry is to artists, this will call a lot of attention to it all. Might actually make a change. But again, the hardest.

Now the thing with all of the above, right, no matter which way they take it, is that bisexuality exists. Also, sexuality can be fluid, so maybe he didnt figure out he was into dudes until later on in life and him and Harry reunited and it just kind of happened. He had to navigate queerness in a space of homophobia. He felt fucking lost as hell, and Harry helped him. Also public and fan sympathy, also works. Doesn’t put them from the beginning though, like situation 2 and 3 could, but yeah. The current conversation about queerness and how things can change is important and big right now. People would understand.

Both Harry and louis (more so louis) will and should expect fan and public hatred for lying and queerness. But it’s just something they’ll have to cop. They come out, go into hiding for a bit, and then put out a statement and they’re just gonna have to expect some hate. Hell, Harry already gets hate for queerbaiting. It just always will be affected.

To your last point, about using a kid, if they unravel everything then they’ll just shove that blame on SC etc, they had no choice! For the other situations, it may be a little scrutinised but yeah. He’s either silly and too trusting in situation 1, or does see F as his kid and is proud of him in situation 2. Those situations above are how I see a smoother end to bbg. They’re kind of the only way I see it ending. So, SC/marketing gods, if you’re watching, or if this is you, consider one of the above please and let’s end it fucking now.

So there you have it. These situations might seem stupid, but he comes out of it the most unscathed (except option 3 but again, sympathy from fans and public about being controlled like puppets). And I think in all those cases a coming out will happen shortly after, they kind of go hand in hand. But also they might let it die down for a while before announcing anything, but yeah. Speculation is gonna happen. They can’t escape everything.

Any questions or if anything doesn’t make sense because I haven’t had a coffee yet, let me knowwwwwww

Thanks for coming to the show!