#oh look at this perfectly good antagonist

[clown-abyss]

TW // Blood; Injury

Some more Phantom Realm Barron AU. Around his 3rd or 4th night he gets a pretty nasty injury on his leg, when a phantom grabbed him while he was running away. He got away, but was clawed pretty good in the process.

Also, forgot to mention in my first post: He has phantom blood stains on his face and neck that kinda just stayed there. There's not much significance to it, it's just kinda there.

Besides that, he pretty much spends his first week alone, since he isnt aware of the Savannah group or any other people in the PR. Again, this takes place after the arcade fight, so he doesnt have nearly as much experience.

I feel cringe posting this uhh have these too </3

[the-modern-typewriter]

Determined heroes and the villains obsessed with them are my absolute weakness, esp when the hero is absolutely at their mercy. You write protagonist/antagonist so well, thank you for sharing!! Once life stuff settles I want to be a patron again!

"You simply don't give up, do you?"

The hero panted for breath, but still couldn't seem to draw enough air into their heaving chest to reply. They doubled over, bracing one hand against the wall. At least, currently, it looked like a wall. They mustered a glare for the villain.

"You're in my domain, sweetness," the villain said, unbothered. "The only exit you have is the one I give you. You could run five marathons and still not find the way out."

"Then give me an exit!"

"When I get bored, of course."

Abruptly, the wall beneath the hero's hand shimmered and shifted, reality bending nauseatingly to something else. Instead of the endless fancy hotel corridors that the hero had started with, they were suddenly stumbling off-balance into a big squashy armchair. Its softness enveloped the hero on every side, whispering reprieve, a relief for their aching muscles.

They were in an old-fashioned library, filled with dark winding bookcases and honeyed light flowing still and golden through enormous windows. A roaring fireplace sprung to life, filling the room with a welcoming crackle.

"Or would you prefer outside?" The villain raised a hand to snap their fingers, in offer. "Are we feeling more brisk, fresh autumn air or sunny beach vibes?"

"I'd prefer you let me go."

"Well, we both know that, but in the absence of me granting that particular wish, you may wish to play along. Unless you'd prefer I get cross about you trying to run? Maybe create something to actually chase you while you're all tuckered out? All labyrinths have their minotaurs, my dear. Would you like to meet mine?"

No. No, absolutely not.

The hero swallowed. They considered their options for a moment, trying to decide if any particular setting would give them an advantage when reality itself seemed so smittenly under the villain's control.

"...outside would be nice," they said. "What's the best view you've got?"

The villain smiled and snapped their fingers.

The armchair stayed, as did the library shelves, but the walls around them fell flat like an unpacked box and crumbled, transforming into a sweeping bio-luminescent ocean. It was unlike anything the hero had ever seen. It barely seemed like something that could be seen on earth! They glanced up to find an expansive swirl of aurora shading a perfectly clear starry night with bright pinks and greens. The stars, themselves, were nonsense. Nothing like the formations of the world the hero knew.

The hero's breath caught, eyes going wide.

A steaming cup-and-saucer of hot cocoa popped into existence by their left elbow. They could smell the chocolate, sweet as it mixed with the salt of the water around them. A dizzying display of casual power.

"Okay, that's good," the hero allowed. "I'll give you that."

"Only the best for my honoured guest."

The villain sat themselves down opposite, though instead of a squashy armchair they had an elaborate but comfortable looking throne.

"How long does it usually take you to get bored?" the hero asked. "Because, you know, I've learned my lesson."

"Oh?"

"It's ridiculous to try and fight you."

"You're fighting me right now, in your way. Trying to convince a god to give you what you want. Trying your luck."

"You're not a god."

"No, gods are a cute mortal inventions. But I thought the comparison might make sense to you."

The hero's stomach squeezed. Another glance at the sky, at the calm waters of an eternally stretching sea, had them gathering more details. Namely that if this entire universe had an orbit, a centre of gravity, it was the hero's unassuming armchair. Or, worse, the hero themselves.

They turned their attention back to the villain, as if everything around them wasn't in some way the villain.

"Okay," the hero said. "Then surely gods, for want of a better word, have better things to do than sitting with me. Isn't this a bit like having hot chocolate with an ant?"

"But a very charming ant."

"We're more charming outside of captivity. Could do dinner."

"See," the villain cooed. "You just don't give up! This is why I knew I simply had to meet you. And I know you wanted to meet me. You've been trying so hard to find me, out in your little world."

"Is that a no to dinner?"

An elaborate banquet table replaced the library shelves.

"That's not real food," the hero said, with as much surety as they could muster. "You know I can't live on air and fairytales, yeah? If you keep me here forever, or until you get bored, I'll starve."

"Which do you think will happen first?"

"Excuse me?"

"Forever. Or me getting bored of you. Which will come first?"

"Forever, probably, is the vibe I'm currently getting."

The villain laughed, so the hero assumed they'd given the correct answer. It was...it was terrifying. More terrifying was the fact that a small part of the hero wanted to be flattered. They'd never had a universe literally revolve around them before.

The hero took a sip of the cocoa, out of some dangerous, dubious curiosity. It tasted like a childhood memory. Safety as the nights drew in. There was no safety from the abyss they were talking to, though, was there? Not really.

"If this is your domain, then this is...you," the hero said. "Which means if I were to find a way to beat you, it would be here. Seems risky to let me so close."

The villain's smile grew, like they knew something that the hero didn't.

"And you're probably not going to let me die," the hero reasoned, "no matter what I do. Even if you set a minotaur on me, or whatever."

The villain shrugged. "Why kill you when I could stretch your entrails like strawberry laces and hang you up in my study like Christmas lights?"

"Wouldn't that kill me?"

"Not here. Not if I don't want it to. It would hurt, though."

"Most people stomp ants. Especially the biting kind."

"Do you want me to kill you?"

"No. I'm just trying to understand what this...is."

"I believe humans call it 'seduction.'"

The hero nearly choked on the cocoa. They carefully set their drink aside, noting the little clink it made despite themselves. Real. Disturbingly real.

"Seduction is trapping me in your domain?" the hero asked.

"Many of the great love stories start with forced proximity."

"Less start with Stockholm Syndrome."

"And less still involve the two of us," the villain said cheerily. "But isn't the novelty exciting? You like what I can do. You said it was good."

"I meant that it was impressive."

"I am. As are you. A perfect fit."

"Are ants impressive?"

"You made the ant comparison, not me."

The hero studied them.

"Drink your cocoa," the villain said, rolling their eyes, oh so indulgent. "I'll let you go eventually. Unharmed."

"When you get bored."

"Before you starve to death. That would be far too mundane an end to our game."

That was...something. Even if it seemed too easy. Even if it seemed like no promise whatsoever that the villain wouldn't end up drawing them into their domain again. In the real world, surely, the hero could win. They could fight cultists. But that still left this. Them.

"Do you promise? That you'll let me go?"

"Promises," the villain mused. "That's almost as cute an invocation as gods. Very well." They leaned in, eyes bright, smile turning to a grin revealing dozens upon dozens of sharp teeth. "I promise."

Surrounded by sea and stars on every side, with no conceivable way to run, the hero could only hope they meant it.

[fangisms]

all of the girls you loved

A/N: i am a SUCKER for a good song fic and obvi a sucker for some good Taylor content (gif creds: @merakiaes)

Pairings: George Weasley x Fem!Reader

Summary: Every woman that he knew brought him here. You want to teach him how forever feels. 2.6k words.

Warnings: so much crying why am i in a mood, fluff mostly!, song fic, song lyrics, pet names (poppet, dear), heartbreak, brief angst, ONE FUCKING CURSE WORD. jealousy, being stood up

1984

"your mother brought you up loyal and kind"

You'd been chasing the little red haired boy through the train station for the better part of the last ten minutes. But only because he tugged at your hair and stuck his tongue out at you. He started it. He's got this worn grey sweater, and you can tell his jeans were hand-me-downs from the patchwork in the knees. Probably from the boy, his older brother, with the wavy red hair carrying far too many books and stumbling up the train's steps.

Your antagonist giggles and ducks behind the brick pillar in the center of the station. You roll your eyes and round the otherside, tapping on his shoulder with a grin. He yelps and skitters away behind his mother. She has a small baby tucked in her arm and another cooing from a pram decorated with ribbons, lace, and wicker.

"Georgie!" She scolds him for tugging on her skirt before looking down to see your little face staring back at her. "Hello, dear, what's your name?"

The boy peeks his head out from behind her leg, round cheeks flushed a soft pink from all the running. You fold your arms over your chest and scowl at him.

"Determined little thing, aren't you?" she says with a sweet smile and kind eyes, "Have you been terrorizing this young lady?"

"It's not my fault, mum! She looks funny!"

"George. That's not how we talk about other people, now, is it?" she warns.

"No, mum."

"No, of course it's not. Now, you apologize this instant. Your brothers give me enough grief as is."

His wicked gaze meets yours, and you scowl hard as you can back at him. He squints. You purse your lips.

"I'm sorry because my mum told me so!"

You pout, "apology not accepted! I hope I never see you again!"

And with that, he watched the little girl with the wild hair and the polka-dotted pinafore skip away. Never to be seen again. Until the next year. And each year following the last.

1994

"teenage love taught you there's good in goodbye"

George has got a mouth full of the loudest bubblegum in existence when he comes roaring up behind you in the hallway, laying his arm across your shoulders.

"Evening, poppet. I assume you've heard the news," he chirps, smacking his gum in your ear proudly.

"You're disgusting, George," you say, shrugging his arm away but still matching his pace, "and I don't care that you bribed Niamh Ward into being your date to the Yule Ball."

"I didn't bribe her! She asked me and I said 'yes'"—he blows a gummy bubble in your face, and it bursts with a ringing pop—"D'you reckon she'll kiss me if I dance well enough?"

He twirls off down the hallway, ending his mini routine with a flourish of jazz hands.

"I don't reckon any girl will ever want to kiss you with moves like that."

"Oh, you're just a cynic. I'm perfectly snoggable, whether I can dance or not." He takes your wrist and drapes your arm in the crook of his own, and you scoff when he leans in to pop another bubble in your face. "Who's taking you to the ball, anyway? That Durmstrang halfwit?"

You yank your arm away and stop dead in your tracks. It's a well-known fact that you'd been waiting for George to ask you to the Yule Ball since first year. You thought for sure he'd ask you. But the time came and went and you each found other dates, other outfits, other plans. And you hate that deep down, a small part of you is still waiting for him to ask you. But you'd never do that to Niamh. Not even for George.

"As a matter of fact, yes," you say, "and his name is Johan—"

"What kind of name is Johan?"

He's still smacking his gum like he knows exactly how to get on your nerves. And after all these years, it's no wonder.

"You're so immature. I'll see you later."

"Oh, come on—"

"No, George," you huff, not turning around until you clear the corner and wipe your wet cheek with the sleeve of your robes.

...

The Great Hall has never looked more decadent. Draped in glitz and the magic of the holidays. Everyone's absolutely buzzing with excitement, ever-present gossip, and the beauty of students dressed to the nines. And in the midst of it all, you still spot him from across the room.

Of course, Johan is the perfect gentleman. He even asked if you'd like to match your gown to his traditional red dress robes. It was a lovely idea, and it wasn't hard to pick out a lovely chiffon, maroon dress. He said you looked beautiful and danced with you most of the night, but there was still that sickly ache in your chest like flesh and tendon left split by two cold hands. George's hands.

After you told Johan you didn't feel well, he left you alone at one of the shimmering tables. You felt bad practically leading him on, but it's not like you'd been lying about your attraction to him. Just about your attraction to George.

You don't turn to face the person who plops onto the stool beside you. You're pretty dedicated to flicking the thin straw around the rim of your glass at this point.

"I left my date to come talk to you, so you better have a stellar reason for looking so glum."

George. You know he's trying to cheer you up. And he knows it's not exactly working how he'd hoped. "Come on, poppet. It's the Yule Ball. You've been looking forward to this for, what, six years?"

He hates that when you turn to face him, you've got tears dripping from your chin, jaw, nose, lashes. He hates that there's a small part of him that wishes he could have fixed it for you. 

"What's wrong?" he whispers, scooting closer and catching a slow tear slipping over your cheekbone. You flinch away and lean your head in your hand, closing your eyes.

"You have no idea."

George chortles and shrugs, "well, yeah. That's sort of why I'm asking." You land a hearty wallop on his arm, not even looking when you swing your fist at him. "Alright, that was deserved. Now, tell me. I don't like it when you shut me out."

"Why are you doing this, George? Why don't you just leave me alone? Go hang out with Niamh or something," you say. It's accusatory, sure, but that's the point. The inflection was aimed for the heart. Spear tipped with arsenic just to make it sting more.

He chews the inside of his cheek, rubbing the back of his neck when you dodge his gaze and sniffle.

"That might be a tad difficult seeing how she stood me up."

Shit.

"George, I didn't mean—"

"No, no, it's okay. She caught a... a stomach bug, or something. Spent all morning hunched over the girl’s toilet," he mumbles, loosening his tie. And you catch just the smallest smirk tugging the corner of his mouth. Like there's some kind of amusement in his own misery. "I feel bad for her, honestly."

"I'm so sorry, I had no idea." You grab his hand and lean closer. He looks tired up close. Like the light usually at home in his eyes as twinkled out and left him dimmed.

"You've nothing to be sorry for. Fate is fate, after all." He brushes his hair out of his face and takes a deep breath, squeezing your hand. "Dance with me?"

Yes, of course, you want to shriek. I'd love nothing more from the boy who used to yank on my hair and call me names and tell me he loved my sparkly shoes. An honor, you think, but the words don't reach. Just a smile.

"Sure," you say, letting him tug you in the direction of the crowd. The right direction, you think, the direction you've longed for. Then he spins you into his chest, and you feel the shallow rumble of his laugh in your fingertips.

"Was Johan a better dancer than me?" he says, swaying your bodies like tender obligation. You cock an eyebrow.

"Johan stepped on my toes every four steps and nearly tore my dress."

"...So?"

"Yes," you tease.

"Shut up. Let me make this dance a good one. For you."

You look up at him and he thinks he's never seen someone look so clueless and yet so completely beautiful. From the gloss on your lips to the gems on your shoes and even now, mascara smudged and hands shaky, he thinks he'd like to look at you for as long as you'll let him. And when you shuffle closer between songs, he has to catch his breath against your temple.

"Your hair's gotten so long, Georgie," you whisper, slipping your hand up and over his shoulder, to the back of his neck with a smile pressed to his warm cheek.

"Like it?"

"I’ll always like it."

He pleads to Merlin you can't feel the rattletrap pounding of his heart. His hand moves of its own volition, spread across the small of your back like he's seen in some romance films. The slow dance scene is always the most romantic. The pinnacle of their love thus far. The event to dissolve any prejudice leftover in their heads, and any pride hidden in the last cracks in their hearts.

"George, I have to tell you something important—"

"Shh, poppet, just dance with me a little longer."

And you suppose. It could wait that little while longer. Another dance. Another day. It'd come up again and break your heart, but it'd be too pressing to put off eventually.

So you let him hold your hand a little tighter, sway you in circles a little slower, and keep your heart beating a little louder.

1996

"every woman that you knew brought you here // i wanna teach you how forever feels"

The something important you had tried to tell George that night was that you'd be staying with your estranged aunt in Spain over the course of the next school year. Your final school year. You'd be leaving Hogwarts—leaving George—and spending the year homeschooling over in Spain.

You left that Spring to spend your days in the Spanish countryside, drinking in the sunshine and dancing to the music of the cicadas. It had devastated George. It had devastated all of the Weasleys. They were so used to housing you most summers, and the change was quite unwelcome. Less place settings, less baggage clunking up the stairs, less laughter. He could only hope you were happy. And that he'd be able to see you again one day in the future.

"Georgie?"

You caught him off guard. He nearly tripped and cracked a tooth on the steps when you called his name. He and his twin brother had made a spectacle of Ninety-three Diagon Alley in the time you'd been away. And you had just happened to wander in and find him hurrying up the technicolor stairs after his brother.

Nothing felt real when he met your eyes for the first time in a year and change. The sirens and bells and sparklers went fuzzy as he realized just how beautiful you'd gotten since he last saw you. Beautiful enough to make him wildly nervous. Enough to make him sweat.

"My Poppet." He says it gently, grinning when you bat your lashes and hold your arms out.

"Christ, I've missed you, George," you huff, burying your face in his shoulder when he wraps his arms around you.

"You have no idea."

You tease him with a laugh, "Well, yeah," pulling away to wrap your lithe fingers around his tie. "Look at your hair! It's so short!"

"Like it?" He runs his fingers through the scruff at the back of his head. You squint and pat the soft tufts at the top of his head.

"I love it. You know I do."

He sighs, ushering you to the back of the shop all while trying to conceal a giddy smile.

"I've had an entire year to reflect on all the reasons why you abandoned me, poppet. I made a list"—He takes your wrist and drapes your arm in the crook of his own—"Starting with that time I told you your unicorn shirt was quote, unquote, 'for babies'."

"You have to include my stunning defense, Weasley"—you clear your throat—"'I am a baby, and you're just a rotten little boy!'"

"How could I forget?" He pushes open a door to the very neglected office towards the back of the building. Papers stacked on the desk, a cobweb in the corner. Well-loved. "A little privacy, mademoiselle?"

"I'd be delighted."

He sweeps the dust off a brown leather chair by the desk, offering the seat to you with a shy smile.

"Oh, George," you whisper, fiddling with the clasp of your purse with watery eyes and a pout like the one you gave him the first time he saw you.

"Come here, sweetheart," he says, hurrying you into his embrace with the feeling of being gutted by your sad eyes weighing heavy on him.

"There's just so much"—you gasp and cover your mouth when you sob—"So much I've missed and so much I want to tell you and so much I wish I had seen and done with you..."

"I know. I know, I feel the same," he huffs, "I missed you more than words can describe. I didn't know what to do with myself."

"I'm so sorry, I never meant to hurt you, I thought—"

"No. No, poppet, of course not"—he holds you tighter, pressing you to the curves of his body, holding you like clay and hot glass—"You came back, that's all I could ever ask for."

You pull back and let him wipe the tears from your cheeks, leaving faint kisses on each temple. And when he finally tears himself away from your skin, he's only left desperate for the contact. His thumb brushes you cheek, and you hold his wrist, lashes fluttering to meet his soft gaze. Desperation. Exhaustion. Relief. It's all there in the palm of your hand, and just at his fingertips.

Twelve years is far too long to be loving anyone the way you love each other. Completely but without the parts of love we sometimes need most. The honesty and openness, the comfort, and more than ever, the kisses. He curses his wild eyes for sweeping the length of your parted lips. His wild eyes giving away his secrets and calling him a damned fool.

You catch his mouth with yours, innocent at first peck, but he kisses you back, unsure of where his hands should go, wanting perfection, especially when your nose bumps his and makes you smile into the wetness of the kisses.

"I want everything," you whisper, forced to choose between air and George, "I have loved you since the day we met."

"That's very cheesy, my dear." He rests his forehead against yours, cupping the side of your neck, thumb resting gingerly over the column of your throat. Just to hold something delicate. Fragile. His.

"Think you can do better?"

"Hmm," he clears his throat, "You stole my heart and... I don't think I want it back."

"Gross! You win."

"I meant it."

He winks and pecks your bottom lip sweetly, only to realize you're tearing up, head tilted back and hands fanning at your eyes. He holds your waist and you shake your head with a defeated laugh.

"I'm such a crybaby."

"My favorite."

"You're awful, Georgie."

"I know," he says, finally, "I know."

masterlist

[emmg]

Larian really did it, eh? They took one look at all the rich possibilities for complex, deeply layered antagonists and thought, "Nah, screw that. Let’s just make a devil who could probably cum just by looking at his own reflection." And somehow—somehow—it worked. Like, I know I’m showing up late to the party here, but holy hells, they cooked up Raphael, a mysterious, narcissistic, probably-can-suck-his-own-dick-until-he’s-cross-eyed kind of character, who has about as much emotional depth as a puddle of jizz. And the fandom? The fandom was like, “Oh yes, Daddy, I would like a side of that. And make it extra toxic.”

Let’s be real here, the man struts around like he’s the second coming of every goddamn god in the Realms, practically making love to his own shadow as it follows him around. And we're all like, “Yeah, that’s it. That’s my guy.” He’s the type who wakes up, glances at himself in the mirror, and you know the first words out of his mouth are, “How do you do it, you stunning, devastatingly perfect beast?”

And when he’s done looking at himself, he watches his own cum drip down the mirror like it’s some kind of divine art installation. He’s just standing there, all smug, probably biting his lip, admiring the drip as if it’s the Sistine Chapel and muttering, “Exquisite. Truly a masterpiece, Raphael. You outdo yourself again.”

And yet. And yet. Despite the fact that he lasts about as long in bed as it takes me to throw out any remaining shred of dignity I possess—spoiler alert, it’s not long at all—the fandom is still like, “Oh yes, give me that.” I mean, let’s call it what it is: Raphael is over here jerking off in front of a mirror, flexing his wings, probably biting his lip and winking at his reflection while moaning something like, “I’m the real devil here,” and somehow people are out there thirsting after him like he’s offering a five-course meal instead of trauma with a side of existential dread.

You know this guy practices his sexy monologues in the mirror every morning, right? There’s no way he doesn’t. He’s probably standing there, buck-ass naked, wings unfurled, saying something ridiculous like, “Oh, Tav, you poor fool. You never stood a chance,” while blowing a kiss to his own reflection. And you know the moment Tav walks in, he’s like, “Oh, didn’t see you there,” as if he wasn’t just mid-flex, trying to decide if his pecs or his horns were his best feature today.

Honestly, Raphael probably thinks missionary is an act of charity. He’s not trying to make anyone else feel good—he’s just giving you the honor of basking in his sheer, unfiltered glory. Meanwhile, you’re over here just happy to be involved while he’s thinking about how good his ass must look reflected in the chandelier above. He’s like, “Oh yes, you love this. Everyone loves this. I love this,” as if the entire experience is just him doing you a favor by letting you witness the seventh wonder of the world: him.

AO3 is out here churning out fanfiction like, “Raphael’s sweat dripped down his perfectly sculpted abs, glistening in the flickering candlelight of Avernus as Tav moaned, ‘Oh, Raphael, you’re just so… perfect.’ He smirked, flicking his tongue as if seduction were some high art only he had mastered,” and somehow we’re all reading this like, “Yes. Yes, please.” It’s ridiculous, but are we complaining? Absolutely not. But also what abs? The motherfucker is sipping wine all day and delegating every possible task to everyone but himself. He should have a beer gut.

AO3 has officially become the home for the weirdest, most insane, borderline illegal fantasies you didn’t know you had until Raphael walked in with that velvet voice and that “I’m better than everyone” attitude. And suddenly, you’re reading about how he’s chained Tav to a bed made of solid gold in a mansion on the second layer of Hell, calling her ‘mouse’ like it’s a goddamn pet name while he drafts another contract with one hand and—you know—‘negotiates’ with the other. Tav’s out here thinking, “I could stop this if I wanted,” but really, could she? Could anyone?

Oh, and let’s not forget the taglines on these fics: “Extreme narcissism,” “dubious consent,” “he’s an actual devil, what did you expect?”, “wingplay,” “weird infernal kinks you didn’t know existed,” and my personal favorite, “Raphael’s dick is bigger than his ego (which is saying something).” And somehow, people are eating it up like it’s the best goddamn wine from Avernus, despite the fact that Raphael is probably the kind of guy who’d finish in record time, look over at you, and say something like, “Well, aren’t you lucky to have had me?” before leaving to stare at himself in the mirror again.

At the end of the day, Raphael is the equivalent of someone giving you their business card after mediocre sex and telling you they’re free for a follow-up next Thursday. He’s probably sitting back after three minutes of glorified foreplay, sipping on some infernal wine, dribbling down his chest, cock half-hard and still leaking, saying, “That was a gift, darling. You’re welcome.” Meanwhile, you’re left there thinking, “Is it rude to ask for a refund?” You know he’s terrible for you, but like, what’s the alternative? Not letting him wreck your life? Ridiculous. Absolutely not.

This is the kind of fandom insanity we’ve built, folks. Raphael’s out here jerking off to his own reflection and smirking like he’s some kind of gift to the multiverse, while the rest of us are like, “Yes, Daddy, please tell me more about how you’ve single-handedly ruined my life and maybe take your shirt off while you’re at it.”

And what’s truly wild is that somehow, somehow, we’ve collectively managed to elevate this walking, talking narcissistic wet dream—this smarmy, self-obsessed devil with more self-love than a Greek god on steroids—into the sex icon of the year. Like, how? Raphael’s out here selling delusions of grandeur with a side of, “Oh, by the way, I will absolutely fuck you over, and you’ll thank me for it,” and the fandom’s response? We all just dropped our panties like it’s some kind of compulsory event. Logic? Gone. Self-respect? Out the window. It’s like we’re all standing in line with a collective, “Sir, yes, sir! Please ruin my life.”

[its-your-mind]

Sam: *joins the OIAR. asks some perfectly reasonable questions. follows up on some fucked up shit that happened to him as a kid.*

Jon: oh dear god oh no look at this new baby employee who is asking all these questions he might end up like me and I have to SAVE HIM mahtin

Sam: *asks for help, keeps Alice and/or Celia in the loop, follows Jon’s directions to Gerry and Gertrude to get info, takes Alice and/or Celia with him when he explores the remains of no longer active supernatural sites, willing to step back and follow warnings of danger (to a degree), maintains good relationships with his coworkers (including a romantic relationship that started only a few weeks after Celia was hired)*

Martin: 🤨

*~*~meanwhile*~*~*

Gwen: *demands a promotion, insists she can handle it, refuses to ask for help, antagonistic relationship with her coworkers exacerbated by said promotion, continuously walks into actively dangerous situations all alone, absolutely insistent that everything be filed properly and accurately despite having no oversight and there being no clear use-case for this organization system*

Jon: meh, she seems fine. blackmailing the boss, Lena’s already given her some info… oh yeah. She’s good. prolly should warn her about the murderous Lady she’s invited home, though. wouldn’t want to endanger Sam or our good friend Celia.

Martin: 🤨🤨🤨

[ruegarding]

Hey, quick question if you don't mind me asking but what are your thoughts on Drew Tanaka as a character and how she was portrayed in HOO?

canon drew...well. i rbed this post that says "drew was not written as a character but rather a human obstacle who needed to be feminine so the ‘not like other girls’ could defeat her," and i think that summarizes it perfectly. she exists exclusively to make piper look good, which is a real shame bc drew could've been interesting. as-is, drew is not only uninteresting, piper is also uninteresting by extension. it'd be like if nancy was one of percy's greatest obstacles in tlt.

more under the cut bc i'm incapable of keeping things short.

here, in her introduction, not only is drew, a feminine girl, vain, she's also weak and unintimidating, a triple whammy right away! she has no reason to be antagonistic towards piper here, they literally just got to camp. piper's crime right now is *checks notes* not looking cute and existing next to a "good-looking guy." oh, yeah, btw drew likes jason for being hot and powerful.

this triple whammy isn't even restricted to drew, it's the entire aphrodite cabin. they all giggle when drew flirts w jason and when piper is uncomfortable being "gorgeous" and are too scared and weak to stand up to drew. the two exceptions are a guy who got in trouble for saying piper "might not be so bad" and a girl who's afraid of ugly shoes. what an uninteresting take.

anyway, moments like this

are everywhere. now, let's remember for a moment that the aphrodite cabin (including drew!) fought in a war where they were outnumbered and won. but yeah, their biggest strength is their ability to "make an orange t-shirt glamorous" bc piper is the only one out of them who can *checks notes* uhhh run? charmspeak on a quest? carry a knife? she doesn't even know how to fight in tlh! she wasn't at camp for more than two days, she never had any fighting experience! the fact that she's being called tougher than ppl who fought in a war makes me grit my teeth. and thalia was there when it happened!

and it doesn't even makes sense bc we see aphrodite like this is ttc

and she says this in tlh

(also sidenote: why is aphrodite's claiming so egregious and uncomfortable then? it's like rick has a moment of clarity and realizes he's being stupid and then immediately fucks it up again.)

this is interesting! and some of these kids (including drew!) would have met this aphrodite during the solstices. so portraying drew and the aphrodite cabin as a bunch of shallow kids obsessed w makeup that need to be saved by piper "not like other girls" mclean is so contrived. and constantly bringing up how piper's so much better than those shallow and weak aphrodite kids makes piper's entire character grating. rick brings up aneaus repeatedly throughout tlh, a son of venus/aphrodite that founded rome. why are we acting like aphrodite children are weak and stupid when we could be exploring literally anything else? like, you know, how they're traumatized?

and the thing is, he brings up silena! and it's done terribly. piper, who never knew silena and never will, lecturing drew, someone who knew silena and was betrayed by her, has always pissed me off. piper relating to silena bc she feels like she's in the same position? good, that's fine, i have no problem w this. but acting like she knew silena to ppl who actually did and then preaching abt what silena believed should've gotten her smacked (rick didn't even addressed the actual important part, which is how the other campers feel abt silena or how they feel abt surviving a war).

then when piper challenges drew, again, drew fought in a war while piper hasn't trained for a single day, why are we acting like piper could beat drew in a fight? piper can't even use charmspeak bc drew's resistant to it! that's the one advantage piper has! writing it like this comes off like piper is only strong as long as everyone else is weak. she's not rising to a challenge, her competitor is just so pathetic that she can overpower them. she didn't earn her strength. that's not good character development! so we're throwing two entire character arcs away for this!

what really gets me abt all of this is that piper didn't need to be a counselor. piper needed a place to belong. making drew nothing more than a stepping-stone was completely unnecessary, and making the aphrodite cabin weak and vain was redundant bc we already had an example w silena (and again, all the kids that fought in a war). as it is in canon, drew's character is a great example of some of rick's biggest writing flaws.

[baratiddyappreciator]

good afternoon/evening/night, I don’t know when you will read this :) I would like to make a request from you, it’s a bit late topic, I agree. But could you write about how the antagonists of season 3 (Spec, Dorian, Sikorsky, Doyle and Yanagi) will react to the fact that a shy reader gave them a valentine and chocolate (made by the reader himself), and ran away very embarrassed? I would be very grateful if you write this. Best wishes to you ! :)

Of course I can! Once again, very sorry for how long it took me to get to these lmao, I can say that I'm officially off hiatus but progress will be slow until I catch up.

Doyle:

He's so confused. What on earth are you doing?? Why did you just shove this box of random shit and some flowers into his hands and then run off like he had the bubonic plague?? Why are you so red??? What on earth is going on?? More importantly, why the actual fuck did you say 'Kyaaa~!' as you were leaving?? Are you cringe? Does he need to worry about you being cringe?

Give him a second, the man is a bit stunted when it comes to being around normal people. Been in the assassin game too long. When he opens to box to see some chocolates and reads the note with the valentine, then he'll put two and two together. Eventually. He may or may not have to look it up first before he puts two and two together.

Expect a sudden appearance at your house. A creepy one. Bro rocks up outside your window in the middle of the night like "hey hi hello do you have feelings for me??" and once you confirm he's going to tease you about it to the point where it's almost him just straight up being mean, but it's all he knows how to do. You might cry though, just a warning.

After all that? He barely acknowledges that you confessed to him. You can bring it up, and he'll just shrug and give you a "Yeah? What about it?" because he read that being aloof and uninterested can actually make him seem a bit more interesting to you. You're going to have to be direct with him, because otherwise he just won't understand what you want.

Sikorsky:

Run away all you want, you literally will not be able to outrun him. His legs are long and he's got the endurance. The man is scary, and he will get you to look him dead in the eyes and tell him with your words, because shoving a box and some flowers into his hands and then running away is rude and childish, and you're both grown adults.

He doesn't need a second, he's not dumb, he's had people confess to him before. He's pretty and he knows it, which makes his ego about 10x worse. He knows the moment he gets handed the box of chocolates and the roses. As mentioned, he'll hunt you down and make you use your words.

"Go on, say that you love me, I wanna hear you say it!" He's so mean about it, but he knows when to stop pushing. As soon as you admit that you like him, he'll tease you a little, feed his own ego a bit, and then be perfectly happy to move on to whatever happens next.

Oh he'll bring it up just to fluster you. He's a bit sadistic, so that is... Well, fairly frequently. Eventually you'll stop being as flustered about it, but still, he'll find a way to turn your confession into something he can use to tease and poke fun. Eventually though, it becomes something he looks back on fondly, and is so, so happy that you both remember it so well.

Yanagi:

A valentine? How childish. He's a grown man, he doesn't need this! You can run away if you want, he won't chase you. He knows you'll be back, and when you do come back, he's going to make you say what you feel properly, because otherwise, he's not likely to give you the time of day. Shy or no, simply running away is shameful and cowardly in his eyes.

He knows, he grew up with that culture, there's no need to tell him, though he outright refuses to touch the chocolates until you've come to him properly and talked to him instead of just running away all flustered. You're going to lose points for that approach in his eyes.

His judgmental and stuck-up ass is constantly going to demean you for just running away from him. He faced down Yujiro Hanma of all people, and he didn't run away! You've got no excuse, because clearly he's not nearly that terrifying! (He is, the little freak)

After the initial shaming and subsequent "Now do it again, but properly!" then that's pretty much it. Something he'll try to push out of his mind, which is a small mercy on his end because otherwise the relationship simply wouldn't happen purely because of that.

Dorian:

Awe, well isn't that adorable! And you put so much effort into this too! So flustered you couldn't even look him in the eyes before you took off! But you're forgetting that he's incredibly fast, even in his advanced age, so he absolutely simply let you go. If he'd wanted to catch you, he would.

Oh he's aware of what this means! And he's not above returning the favor either! As long as you don't ask too many questions about where he gets your gifts from, it's smooth sailing! He'd appreciate it if you questioned him simply being in your home one night even less, especially with how happy you'd clearly be with him returning your feelings!

Oh he's going to savor those chocolates! You worked so hard on them, and he's always had a bit of a sweet-tooth! As for the flowers, he's going to dry and preserve them, maybe even have them turned into a fragrance that he can wear on date night.

After all that, you really expect to stay single? Oh no, he's putting a claim on that as soon as physically possible, he just needs to make sure that you won't questions the suspicious things that happen around him. Like, you know, your neighbors all of the sudden not looking you in the eyes, your boss giving you less of a hard time. It's just because you're so happy, and not because he threatened them, it's definitely because you're so radiant!

Spec:

He's highly amused and he's going to do nothing to hide that fact. You're trying to run away? Oh, honey, he's already outpaced you and is ready to snatch you up and drag you off to go eat the chocolates you worked so hard on!

He's aware and he thinks it's both the most adorable and hilarious thing in existence. Did you really think he'd just let you run off on him? Oh no, nono, you're gonna stay here and say that you love him to his face and not through some letter, though he's still going to keep it. If he ever goes back to jail, he's going to hang it on the wall or the ceiling near his bed so it can be the first thing he sees when he wakes up.

He's going to tease you about it until you're so red you envy a stop-sign. And then he'll tease you a bit more, just for good measure. It's really hard to tell if he's just teasing you or if he's being genuine though, since his sense of humor is so skewed.

After all that? He lives in your house. You confessed, you gave him food and flowers. He's like a fucked up stray cat that has taken the small display of kindness as an invitation to just live in your home for however long he pleases. You're going to have a really hard time getting rid of him.

[puzzled-pegasus]

Bloberta and Clay analysis ramblings

(TW: discussion of child abuse, spousal abuse, alcoholism, and SA)

I just rewatched Help and Passing and think it's time that I talked about our favorite dysfunctional husband and wife from Moral Orel.

Both Bloberta and Clay are really bad people in my opinion, and both sympathetic, but Bloberta is undeniably responsible for the fact that they ended up together when they shouldn't have, and Clay is of course mostly responsible for the way he treated Orel. It's important to note that I do NOT think that Bloberta is responsible for Clay's alchoholism, at least not by encouraging him to drink one single time at a party. He's responsible for his own choice to keep drinking so much every day after despite the person he became when he was drunk.

She did, however, essentially squeeze a not-even-proposal out of him after he made it clear that he wasn't into the idea of marriage, and then was disappointed and frustrated when he looked sad at their wedding. It's possible that she may have had somewhat of an "i can fix him" mentality?

Mostly, though, it's shown in the episode Help that all she wants is to be useful and wanted, and to find a man as quickly as she can to get married to so she doesn't feel left out in her circle of women around her age. She was a middle child at home and constantly pushed aside everywhere else as well. So of course, she's going to snatch up the first young man who so much as engages in pleasant conversation with her. Even if that man is someone who very strongly hints at wanting nothing to do with her romantically.

As we learn in previous episodes of the show, Bloberta also seems desperate for male attention because Clay avoids her, but she probably also was back then; Clay just didn't satisfy her want for attention like she thought he would, because he resented her.

Of course, we don't see into Bloberta's childhood at all, not that Clay's childhood flashback didn't make him look like 100 percent worse as a person, and Clay gets more screentime overall. But with what we do have, Clay gets a few more sympathy points from me, especially from what we learn in Help and during his Nature rant.

As the best, and most well-rounded-out story antagonists do, Clay has a really interesting cocktail of trauma that makes him the intimidating abuser that he is. There are so many points during his screentime where you almost just feel bad for him, or concerned. Especially in the Nature rant.

One thing that's so good about that rant is that the whole scene almost perfectly illustrates the feeling of having a parent dump some of their darkest traumas onto you just because you're forced to listen. The concern on Orel's face, the sorrow, the shock, the disturbance of seeing someone---that he trusted and looked up to, and who he thought had everything figured out, like lots of children believe their parents do----just...fall apart in front of him.

Just the same as Orel does in this scene, the viewer might feel very uncomfortable and somewhat angry at Clay for putting all this onto a child who is dependent on him and who he put into a dangerous situation with his drunken self, but there's also an undeniable sense of sympathy for Clay as he rants about how unhappy he is with his life. A large part of the rant is also about his resentment toward women and Bloberta in particular, and the way he describes their relationship...to me, makes it sound like Bloberta has sexually assaulted him, and I'm surprised I haven't see anyone talk about that.

As additional evidence, consider the exchange in The Best Christmas Ever:

"I don't even remember concieving [Shapey]!"

"Oh please, when do you ever remember?" Now, in a normal argument, this would just be a jab at how Clay is constantly drunk, but this is a conversation about the origins of a child, thus, having sexual intercourse; implying that Clay often doesn't remember when he and Bloberta do it.

"All I do is try to forget." This one really confirms it for me. If Bloberta doing sexual things to Clay is so awful for him that he's constantly self medicating to forget about it---of course, that among other things---then I would classify that as SA.

And then there's the line, "I can't believe I gave you the privilege of satisfying me every night," which may or may not be evidence. He may have phrased it that way to convince himself that he had control over the situations where Bloberta coerced him, or it may be regret of the (very) few times he cooperated willingly. Possibly both.

Who knows. Maybe Clay didn't mind it for a little while after they were married, and didn't see the need anymore after they already had a child because he wasn't sexually attracted to Bloberta in the first place. Maybe he was attracted to her for a short while and he lost the feeling when she was pregnant. Either way, his distress during the Nature rant made it undeniably clear to me that at least a portion of his sexual encounters with Bloberta were instances of marital SA with Blobs as the perpetrator.

I'd like to say again that this observation about Clay does not in anyway attempt to redeem him as a character or say he was "good all along," I just think it's annoying that the rape of Nurse Bendy and Miss Sculptham were such impactful scenes in the fandom and yet I've never seen anyone bring up the possibility that it could have been happening to Clay.

Moving on from that, though, there's another thing I've noticed about the relationship with Clay and Bloberta----the absence of domestic abuse, as least that we have seen. Not that I'm complaining that no one is beating their spouse in this show, but looking at all the other dark topics in Moral Orel, it's just a little interesting that they didn't cover the topic of spousal abuse, even as a joke. Which is to say, it's interesting that despite how much Clay and Bloberta hate each other, they never get into physical fights or push each other around using violence. Well, except for that one time in Help where Blobs punches Clay in the face. But who's to say whether she did that while married.

They also don't get into very many heated fights, to such an extent that Orel still thinks they're somewhat happy at the end of the show. In general, it seems like they're mostly just trying to stay out of each other's way. Maybe they do have some sort of small shred of human respect or base level love for each other. Maybe they don't see the point of being violent toward each other, or maybe they just don't want anyone to see bruises on the other to arouse suspicion that they're not actually perfect and happy and loving. There are ways to cover bruises, though, so I think there's gotta be some other reason. Maybe they're just worried about it being a sin to lay hands on a spouse? Maybe Clay took to heart the fact that his own father never, ever laid hands on his wife, Clay's mother? Maybe it was enough for Clay to take his frustrations out on Orel instead, since he misbehaved so often?

Anyway, this is a long post. These characters are just so interesting and the story is so thought provoking. Send me asks if you want. Or don't. I just like talking about these loser ass puppet people.

[pinheadbella]

I HAVE SEEN THE FIRST FOUR EPS OF THE TDI REBOOT SEASON 2 AND I COME BEARING A THEORY SO SPOILERS BELOW

The hockey bros…one of them is going out like a hero and the other one is staying in the game long enough to become a villain. Specifically, Wayne gets the boot premerge and Raj throws his morals out the window to get revenge.

Why would Raj do such a thing?? Doesn’t he hate cheating just as much as Wayne??? Well, the bros seem to be all alone in the sentiment that cheaters never win. And I think screwing up by playing fair will be enough to get a majority vote on one of them.

But why Wayne over Raj? Well…what if Wayne stands up for himself and Raj during the elimination? What if he snitches on MK, Julia, and Bowie for cheating, expecting them to get disqualified? And worst of all…what if Chris doesn’t care? I can totally see Chris shrugging it off and saying he knew. Maybe he’ll say it makes for good TV. And since nobody likes a snitch, Wayne is out here.

Now, before we get to what happens to Raj, let’s just imagine what happens in the episode prior to the elimination. Yknow how Total Drama is with their early boots. They get a lot more focus than usual compared to the rest of the cast. So for Wayne, I can see him and Raj making some sort of game plan to dominate merge. How they’re going to get to the finale fair and square. And how they can’t even think about what would happen if they were apart. Maybe even during the challenge when Skunk Butt tries to cheat again, Wayne is all like “ME AND RAJI WOULD NEVER LET THIS SLIDE ON THE RINK!” or “bro you don’t even want to know what Raji’s like when he’s playing hard he’s worse than Juls”

But they’re split apart. The cheaters won. The coach is perfectly fine with cheating. Bowie is one of those cheaters. Raj’s whole view of the game is crumbling around him. And he snaps.

And he takes Wayne’s hat before he’s flown off…

…Raj came to play. But Rajesh came to win. And when the captain is out of commission, the alt’s gonna take over and play filthy.

And as for who’s left on Skunk Butt, let’s just assume Wayne is their third boot so we can take in all their reactions. Julia is confused. MK is lowkey scared. Ripper is highkey scared cause oh god this is what a real bully looks like. And Bowie is fucking terrified cause not only does he not know who to trust anymore, but the player who trusted him the most (yknow, his bf) now probably has his name at the top of the hitlist.

Long story short: Raj is a main antagonist waiting to happen and I wanna see my boy DEVOUR THE COMPETITION

[huntershowl-moving]

SHIPPING INFO // ANSWER THE FOLLOWING FOR YOUR MUSES SO PEOPLE KNOW HOW SHIPPING WORKS ON YOUR BLOG.

WHAT IS YOUR OTP FOR YOUR CHARACTER(S)?

i don't have one particular otp — big ships change depending on the Era hellhound is in!

HOW LARGE DOES THE AGE GAP HAVE TO BE TO MAKE IT UNCOMFORTABLE?

nothing illegal obviously — other than that, aside from long-lifespan characters whose mental maturation is slower, i generally stay away from with 10+ year age gaps when the younger muse is under 20. just feels like a weird power dynamic i guess?

ARE YOU SELECTIVE WHEN SHIPPING?

yes! ships on this blog cannot be pre-established — i tend to lose interest fast if they don't build up naturally, either through lots of ooc plotting or through writing. on top of that, seph is ... piiiiicky. she has very specific Types. generally, ships with very gentle, soft, mentally well-adjusted characters are possible, but transient — seph falls out of love after a point, but remains staunchly protective of them.

the long and short of the matter is she's a freak, and you kind of have to match that to be compatible as a long-term partner. but even then they don't always line up perfectly! idk. seph's weird. simultaneously very easy to ship with and very hard to ship with.

WHO ARE OTHER CHARACTERS YOU SHIP YOUR CHARACTER WITH?

oh i've got lots of good ones going on right now!! pls forgive me for gushing. focusing on currently heavily-plotted and/or written ones for this bit bc otherwise it will be pages and pages!! if i forgot someone you have full permission to impale me on a pike i am SO SORRY. (all of these will be under a readmore at the end of the post for length!)

there are more sort of beginnings/potentials for ships that haven't been explored yet which i haven't included here, but i'm truly excited to see where each and every one of them goes!!!

DOES ONE HAVE TO ASK TO SHIP WITH YOU?

yes absolutely hahaha — at least communicating ooc about it is necessary! i'm much more comfortable shipping with partners i mesh well with as a mun and have an easy time talking to.

ARE YOU SHIP-OBSESSED OR SHIP MORE-OR-LESS?

LOOK I. LISTEN. LISTEN... IM FERAL FOR SHIPS. FERAL. even though seph is picky about them — and i promise it's not personal if it doesnt work, it truly is just her dumb creature ass being unable to normal.

WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE SHIP IN YOUR CURRENT FANDOM?

N/A for this blog, but as a fun trivia fact, i'm deep in satosugu hell rn

FINALLY, HOW DOES ONE SHIP WITH YOU?

it's all vibes babey. we just start writing their non-romantic dynamic buildup, and if it clicks (or even if u just think ur character would have a crush!) we talk about it ooc and plot some more, then plot some more and before u know it, the angst hammer looms over ur head

Tagged by: @bearratic (thank youuuu!!) Tagging: (points) do it

ship gushing below. <3

@vsagis' villain izuku— i had to put u first bc u kickstarted this shipping renaissance. seph and izuku clicked instantly and started a long-term trajectory that i don't think either of us writers expected. they're just freak enough to match each other, just soft enough to genuinely care. we're really putting these two through the horrors(tm) and watching them fall hopelessly, horribly in love. <3

@spiritcrown's pasha — how could i not mention pasha!! i was so happy to see you back, because pasha and seph's relationship was soooo formative for seph's development wrt romance. seph is absolutely, completely and utterly devoted to pasha. they worship at the altar of her. they would bend heaven and raise hell for her.

@crowshoots' jesper — UAHGHGBBHBH INCOHERENT CRYING NOISES. the first thing seph noticed about jesper was extremely respectable fighting skills, but even then they were definitely uhhhh touch and go for a while there before they started to simmer down and. pin each other down and — one thing led to another and jesper's being antagonized by her antagonists and they're too deeply in love to go back!! i love them. i l

@crowgreeds' kaz — HHHHHHHHH god. hi siri i know ur not around the dash much but idc im writing u into this. kaz and seph both have such a darkness in them that the other recognizes and not only feeds, but when necessary, balances. they're ruthless and violent and mean but at the same time, they have such a softness for each other that they both thought was dead. also, you're the recipient of probably the best rp reply i've ever written (that fucking. hellhound kill description. my GOD im feral for seph protecting him)

@tewwor.... goose is2g we really have the creatures ever. litho — FIRST SHIP!!!! FIRST SHIIIP i still cant believe it took 4 irl years for them to finally admit their stupid feelings. now they're soulmates and there's no turning back. he's the reason seph likes poetry in every verse. the softest snarkiest ship. probably the closest to a true YA-style soulmate seph has. she hasn't forgiven him for all the twilight jokes though tough luck jie & ricochet — the boys... the absolute chaos trio... i never expected seph and jie to fall for each other but honestly i should have. he falls so neatly into her "equally feral" type. ricochet is so calm and seph is kind of intoxicated by that. sheathed claws kind of vibe. just love these three their dynamic balances itself so well

@spungolden's dio — two femmes raised as weapons with deeply suppressed emotions, chillin in a murder alley, five feet apart cause theyre not g— (theyre gay. theyre so gay) these two are so sweet they sometimes make me tear up. they skipped the trauma stage and went straight into lesbian domestic fantasy with only occasional murder.

@chaoslulled oh boy(s). toji — brutally in love. they saw and embraced each other's monster, refused to shy away, and now they somehow revolve in this strange orbit of violent and incredibly soft with each other. i think he's the first of the current ship lineup that seph has in-thread said the L-word to. this ship was so easy to jump right into, the chemistry was like lightning in a bottle. satoru — one of the most genuinely unexpected slowburn ships i've stumbled into. these two read each other for filth INSTANTLY as lonely motherfuckers who, in some way or another, had loved and lost. they haven't even gotten to the oh-shit moment in the slowburn yet but i'm lookin forward to it yakuza sukuna — THE PAIN. THE SUFFERING. AUHHHGHGGGG HOL YOU'RE FUCKING KILLING MEEEE. these two are mirrors in the worst possible way. they've got their throats stuck under their boss' boot heels; they've been disfigured, they've had their siblings used as leverage, they've been made into muzzled dogs. despite hating each other at the start, they can't not recognize that, and it's led to this fierce protectiveness that isssss whoops evolving into feelings. i'm sure nothing will go wrong

@eraserisms' shota — AHHHHHHH god okay most of this ship has been pure plotting vibes and responses to memes, but i truly cannot wait to get into writing more of them because they own my heart and soul. i think they know each other to the marrow in a way that's not super common for seph, and the gentleness and caution with which they're starting to explore revisiting their care for each other is heartbreaking in the best way

@sasouken BEE!!!! ok chronologically(??): deku — so precious and wholesome from the start. your honor he's just a little guy with a big dumb crush. when i tell uuuuuu some of our plotting has literally made me tear up a little??? the absolute bleeding heart on this boy??? HURTS ME??? one day they'll hold hands casper — slated to be our angstiest dynamic, i just Know it. two motherfuckers who love their siblings, inextricably involved in a tangled web of crime and violence. two people who have lost so much and don't want to lose anyone ever again. i will die i WILL satoru — such... a different vibe than i was expecting in an amazing way?? his dynamic with seph is so fuckin sweet? so much physical touch born of trust and comfort. also again: her first ever fwb (for now), which is truly a wild thing to experience. sukuna — i .. . dont even know what to say about this one. (affectionate). he unlocked an entirely new dimension of freak in seph's psyche and attraction style that i couldn't comprehend before we started writing them but retrospectively makes so much sense. what the fuck is going on with these two i have no idea but i am OBSESSED with it. also writing them getting down nasty has been extremely fun, i'm enjoying it a lot

[maskedjolo]

You know, Springtrap should REALLY be in Dead By Daylight. No, not because he’s popular with a certain fanbase and whatnot… just because he fits the bill perfectly to be a slasher killer.

What makes a good slasher killer can be easily defined by what we’ve seen already. They need to have an iconic design or a feature that we can easily identify them with such as Michael’s white Halloween mask or Freddy’s Fedora (etc.), they need to have killed people (obviously) but in gruesome/gory ways, they need to be the main antagonist of their respective franchise, they need to have at least some kind of implication of supernatural abilities and they need to never stay dead even after they’ve supposedly been killed. That’s 5 traits. If a character meets at least 4 of those things, then they can be considered some kind of slasher character.

So let’s see what Springtrap/Afton has going for him…

1 - Iconic design: Yeah, he’s iconic enough. His signature yellow rabbit design is fairly distinguishable as well as his colour association, that being purple, yellow and sometimes a more sickly green. He’s even got a mask to go with it.

2 - Murderer: Oh, you better believe it. He’s even decently gory, like other slasher killers. Like, Springtrap is arguably the most gore we see in FNAF ever, that being that his fleshy remains are visible.

3 - Main villain: Ask any FNAF fan ever and they will tell you that Springtrap/William Afton is the main antagonist of the franchise, at least in Scott’s game saga.

4 - Supernatural abilities: This guy is an immortal zombie trapped inside a mechanical suit. Whether he’s still slightly alive or if he’s haunting his own suit doesn’t matter, that stuff ain’t natural. Sooo… yeah! Supernatural is a check!

5 - Doesn’t die: … come on, do I even need to say it? Okay, but seriously though, look at almost every horror slasher ever. They NEVER DIE. You could say they ALWAYS COME BACK. I mean, look at Chucky the Doll and how many times he supposedly gets killed and then comes back every damn time one way or another. Springtrap definitely fits that trope of always being brought back.

Anyways, that’s all. Don’t take this post too seriously, I’m just making this for fun and pointing out to people that Springtrap does actually meet that requirement to get into Dead By Daylight. Hope you had fun reading this! :D

[yzeltia]

FFXIVwrite2024 8. Wedding Vows

Characters: U'rahn Nuhn, Postmoogle Expansion: Endwalker(Timeline Wise, Otherwise Irrelvant) Rating: G Summary: U'rahn practices for his big day with his biggest antagonist. Notes: Freeday prompt given to me by @beyond-mortal-limits *Based on Shakespeare's Sonnet 18 **Based on George Michael's Father Figure

“Alright! Have we started? Now remember, only write the stuff down that I’m saying for the vows. You don’t have to write it all down…you better not be writing this down…Augh. Anyway. My Vows….My vows….Let’s try:

“Nyx, I’ve loved you since you first took your hand and led you to go do all the stuff Zoissette didn’t want me to do with me…-

“Yes it was a date for someone else? Why? What do you mean that’s lame. Don’t you kupo at me! I’m paying you to write stuff not give me dating advice! Let’s try again. …Maybe traditional?”

“I, U’rahn Nuhn, take you, Nyx Blackmoon, for my eternally bonded spouse, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better or worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do…well, until death do I part. I will love and enrich you all the days of my life.

“How’s that? What do you mean ��lame, kupo?’!? It’s traditional! …Okay …Nyx is not a traditional bride but that doesn’t matter cause they’re going to be the most beautiful and special brrride there’s ever been. Don’t ‘Sure, kupo!’ at me! It’s trrrue! But you’re right…Nyx loves me for my orrriginality and that I enrrrich them…Maybe poetry? I can be poetic! Urianger taught me sonnets after Nyx taught me Haiku!!…Can too! Oh yeah!?

“Shall I compare thee to a Summer’s Night?

Thou art more um…lovely and temperature

Rough winds do shake my darling buddies in May

And Summer’s heat hath all too short a date,

Sometimes too hot the eye of Nidhogg shines

And often is gold and complex and I’m dimmed,

And every faerie from faerie sometimes decides

By chance of nature’s changing course to their whim…d

But thy eternal Summer shall not fade

Nor lose possession of thou wanderer’s shade

When in eternal bonds to time thou grow’st

So long as Nuhn can breathe or eyes can see

So long lives this one, and he gives his life to thee-* Stop laughing!

“I swear, moogles are nothing but trouble. That was really good! Yes, I recited it perfectly from the book that Urianger gave me! No I didn’t guess! Just keep your comments to yourself and help write down my vows or I’ll feed you to a sandworm!

“Now…if poems won’t work. How about a song:

“That's all you wanted

Something special, someone enriching 

In your life-

Just for one moment

To be warm and naked

At my side-

Sometimes I think that you'll never

Understand me 

But something tells me together

We'd be happy, oh-oh, baby

I will be your Nuhn figure

Put your tiny hand in mine 

I will be your preacher teacher

Anything you have in mind-”**

“What? That off key? …Yeah, I’m not very good. Maybe if I asked Big Bro Erick or Big Bro Thancred to back me up in the vocals? No? Yeah…no. I can even admit I’m not the best singer. Alright. Fine…What do you think I should do? … … … Ah…I can try that…:

“Nyx…When I’m around you I feel invincible…Not like my normal invincibility, but like, y’know, that I could do anything and everything I put my mind to. Even the stuff that I’m super bad at. I know I’m not the smartest or wisest guy out there but you never hold that against me and when I meet something that I can’t overcome, you let me try until I ask for help. You never judge me or put me down. I feel so seen and loved around you. 

“And…well, it’s no secret my family is super important to me. You’ve fit right in with us in your own Nyx way. I know that if something ever happened to me, you’d be there to watch over them where I cannot. I named my first daughter after you ‘cause I don’t know anyone more strong and beautiful that I would want her to look up to. 

 “So uh, what I’m trying to say is that I’ll always love you…And I promise, as long as I draw breath, to keep enriching you and making every day be filled with new, fun experiences when we are together.

“Why are you crying? Me? I’m not crying? I just got stuff in my eye! It was good though wasn’t it? Let’s stick with that version….C’mon, I’ll get you a kuponut.”

[uncannycookie]

OC-tober Day 9: Relationships

Crea was supposed to be a short-term antagonist. Come in, be an asshole, die early.

But then they went and became interesting? And now I fucking love them?? And their dynamic with Emri is super fun?? They have a huge crush on him at the end, though they wouldn't admit that under torture.

Their fingertips linger near the edge of one of the cuts down their arm, and they're frowning. He grabs their wrist and turns their arm towards the light, searching for mistakes. "What?" he says finally and looks up just in time to catch them already looking back at him. "What's the problem?" A sharp tug frees their wrist from his grasp and their eyes flick away from his. "It's fine." They go back to fumbling with the bandages. "You didn't cut through any tattoos. You went along the lines instead." "Ah." Emri leans back on his heels, fingers picking at the ground by his side. "I mean, I had to cut somewhere. I tried to find a good place for it, but, you know." He points at their arms, as if they've forgotten the countless black lines and shapes adorning their own skin. "It's hard." Miraculously, they're nodding along with him. "No, yeah," they say completely nonsensically. "That's what I'm saying, you, uh, you got the sutures in there pretty well. Goes with the pattern, even if it ends up scarring." Naturally that had been his intention when he planned out the cuts, but now that Crea is making a weird face about it, he fears it might once again be some inane social thing he did wrong. There's a prickling along his neck. He blows a strand of hair out of his face, a little too loudly perhaps. "Well, I'm sorry if that wasn't right, but it's not like I could ask you about it. You were unconscious and I did my best." Unsure what else to say and perfectly fine with ending the conversation, he snaps his hands to the side in what he hopes is an articulate enough gesture to convey exactly that, then slaps them down on his knees and pushes himself up. Why does he even try, honestly. "I meant, thank you!" Crea barks the words at him before he's even fully straightened his back. Which means he stops to meet their eyes from a very uncomfortable position, half stood up, fully confused. Their head thumps back against the wall. "I, yeah. It was…" They sigh a long, long sigh. "That was nice of you. That's all I meant to say." For a moment they stare him down. Then they huff, look away, rip at the remaining bandage with far too much force. "Could've said it better, I guess. Sorry about that." Emri isn't sure he's even supposed to hear that last part. Slowly, he sits back down, perhaps a tiny bit contrite. "Maybe you didn't say it that wrong," he says. "It's just, with your face and all. Makes it sound different." "Oh!" Their voice is suddenly loud enough again to make him jump. "Oh, my face is the problem?" What else would it be? He shrugs. "For me, yeah." "Wow." For some inexplicable reason, they start laughing. "Thanks! Thank you so much." Emri nods. "Welcome."

[evilbeanieman]

For YTTD's 6th anniversary, here are my

Top 6 Most Iconic Shin Moments

Number 6: Sacrificing himself for Kanna

I mean this moment kind of just. Lays it out for itself. It shows his true nature, gives us the reason as to why he has the 0.0% survival rate. We see the most human side of him, the side that's completely and utterly selfless and kind. It's a great act of sacrifice and love and kindness, while equal parts tragic for what he put himself and Sara through. I could say more about it, but that's best saved for a post by itself.

Number 5: Working Together with Nao

I remember playing through this moment and having this strange feeling of surrealness. I thought, "Was Nao really teaming up with Shin? Could this actually be something good?" And even if it was a brief hope, they still managed to form a great team and get everybody together. I think additionally it's interesting that Nao came to Shin for help. Obviously he was the most reasonable choice, considering his computer skills, but it makes you realize that Nao doesn't necessarily see Shin as a bad person. She knows he's a good guy, even if he's done some terrible things in the death game. Again, another thing to be saved for a later post.

Number 4: The First Case

guys holy shit shin drank the grimace shake first holy shit he ate the grimace shake HE WAS PATIENT ZERO

Number 3: High Five!

Come on, this moment is adorable. You can give him a high five for his good work! Even if it ends a bit awkwardly, it's just such a simple but funny gesture. Shin would be the type to wince when you give him too hard of a high five, but appreciates it all the same.

Number 2: Pleading at the Grave

There's something about this moment that just gives me some goosebumps. It's the way that this is after Kanna dies, after he's sworn to come after everyone who let her die, after believing that he has no control in this death game, after coming face to face with Midori once again. There's so much weight here. Gin has shown Shin little kindness, always wary of him and calling him loner and other things. Their relationship is nothing like the one he had with Kanna, and yet, and yet we get this scene right here. Shin begging Midori, calling him Hiyori, in order to try and convince him not to kill Gin. This is Shin. This is everything he is.

Number 1: The Slutty Sprite

Hear me out. Not only is this sprite half responsible for our collective thirsting over this loser, but it also serves a huge narrative purpose as it shows us that he's a victim just like us. He's not the main antagonist. It perfectly sets up the reveal for the later main game and oh my god look at that collarbone I JUST WANT TO MUNCH-

(fun fact- turns out this moment is a "most replayed" moment on the no commentary run by Mono Chrome)

[prodigal-explorer]

i feel like i'm seeing a lot of this in the sanders sides fandom lately, so i just want to let everyone know:

there is nothing wrong with being a patton hater.

absolutely nothing. you don't need a reason. you don't need to say "oh it's a trauma thing" for your hatred of him to be valid. you're not a bad person. you're not allergic to fun. you don't "just need to understand his character better". you're not any less of a fander if you hate patton. you're just a person with an opinion.

as a patton hater myself, i've seen so many people treat fics where patton is the antagonist, or posts that critique patton's actions, or just any content that doesn't treat patton like some noble sweetheart like they're wrong, or bad, or even sinful. but this is a fandom. you're allowed to create whatever content you want and that doesn't make you a bad person.

now, you do need to tag appropriately and avoid hating on patton around people who really don't like hearing patton hate. like don't hate on him in places where you know it'll make people upset. that's just not constructive.

also, critiquing is not the same as hating?? so me critiquing patton doesn't make me a patton hater? i am a patton hater, but not because i critique him. does that make any sense at all? anyway moving on...

it's okay to be like "i don't like patton", or "i hate patton", or "my god this fucking four-eyed, hypocritical, gets-away-with-everything, manipulative, guilt-trippy son of a bitch is making me go feral and i'm gonna write a 500k word fanfiction about him being an asshole because looking at him makes me mad". THAT IS ALL OKAY, and it's perfectly valid to feel/do all of these things.

i feel like so many patton fans just take their love for patton too far, and try and police people who have different opinions from them, and i see it with patton way more than any of the others because of the nature of patton's character. since he's the "good" one, a lot of people like to frame the narrative like "if you don't like patton, the good one, then you're not good yourself". which is just so fucking stupid.

anyway i hate patton!! and that's okay! and if any patton lovers come on here like "um actually it's really offensive to people who like patton-" shut up. my opinions and the way i engage with fandom does not affect you in any way. i try to put down adequate warnings to the best of my ability, so if you keep reading, that's on you, bud. not me.

may the spirit of life and love light your path, and may you be met with whatever you deserve. :D

[huasahyo]

I have read Qiang Jin Jiu and honestly think I'll never recover

(Spoilers ahead!)

Oh god, where to start this? Maybe I should start with the very begging: I didn't understood shit. I just saw a kid being tortured and lots of information. When I felt it was too much, I went after the translated map and OMG that was so helpful! Bless the translators for that. After looking carefully at the map, things started to make sense.

As the story went, before the end of book one I was not very familiar with all the characters. I kept mistaking Hai Liangyi for Hua Siqian lol. But during my reading I started to take some notes and was never confused again. The thing is, this book has A LOT of characters and some of them are introduced early but only become major players later (Yao Wenyu, Hua Xiangyi...)

Even though this huge ensemble would make characters easy to forget, this doesn't happen. The author managed to create likeable and rememberable characters pretty easily??? I fell in love with many of them at first read, even if they didn't show up a lot. And there were characters that got me completely off guard, I wasn't expecting them to be so cool and relevant, BUT THEY WERE (Fei Sheng, Kong Liu)! And the antagonists were also brilliant, I love a good story where everyone has a point and no one is actually evil: People from Biansha had their truths and in a war there are no right sides, Xue Xiuzhuo wanted the best for Dazhou (even though I can't forgive what the did to my baby Yuanzhuo), and Li Jianting??? WHAT A LEGEND! Also, Feng Quan plot twist left me speechless, what an interesting character. Every character was very human (in the good and bad way), everyone had their own goals and beliefs. I actually might do a second post screaming about every character because I have a lot to say about them. (hello hasen my love)

The Plot??? Perfectly done. AND WELL EXPLAINED! I was always a little afraid of reading novels with a lot of politics, but I really dug this one. The problems with grains, provisions, registry, army and BRO THERE WAS EVEN SOME AGRARIAN REFORM SHIT

The way this author write the MOST well written battles I have read, without using any magic... it's just... I never thought I would be so enthusiastic about cannons, rocks and GRAINS.

The conflicts in Zhongbo could be all repetitive, but they weren't at all. Each prefecture that Lanzhou took back had a interesting story.

The war with Biansha was also brilliantly written. The way Amu'er was attacking Dazhou from the inside out and the scorpions with those hammers??? My man was a genius. Sadly, he could never have predicted Bai Cha and her son.

Talking about that, the family relationships are a great point in this. Seeing flashbacks about Lanzhou, Ji Mu, Ji Gang and Hua Pinging made me CRY! They were so happy... And seeing Xiao Chiye with his brother and HIS DAD LIKE... Xiao Fangxu and Ji Gang best daddies. Fei Sheng and Yin Chang too, what a beautiful chapter the one that they talk after Fei Sheng has a fight with Qiao Tianya.

Talking about Qiao Tianya, it was refreshing to see a novel with more LGBT characters. The secondary pairings were great, they didn't steal the spotlight from cezhou, but were very enjoyable (even though THAT happened between Songyu). I just wished we could have seen more Qihua moments and OH GOD KONG LIU AND LUO MU??? That got me truly off guard, wasn't expecting at all. Also, I found really interesting how Lanzhou basically got a LGBT parade following him at the end, that was truly the gayest empire ever. I have so many headcanons here, let me scream them: Xue Xiuzhuo is AroAce, Li Jianting is a non-binary legend and Huo Lingyun a Bi King. Also, Fei Sheng is not straight. Said it.

The little animals in this??? I WAS TERRIFIED WHEN LANG TAO XUE JIN FELL IN THAT HOLE YALL I THOUGHT HE WAS GONNA DIE. But luckily he didn't. Meng, Hunu, Feng Shuang Ta Yi were all the cutest, I need more novels with cats.

THE CHILDREN - Ding Tao, Li Xiong, Xiao Xun and Jiran. They served chaos, humor and cuteness. I really liked whenever they showed up.

THE LADIESSS - If you have read my other posts you know I love some powerful women. This story did not disappoint me in that sense. Hua Hewei had some despicable acts, but she really got everyone on her hands despite never leaving the inner palace, good for her. Hua Xiangyi is a way better version of her aunt, my girl was smart and cared for the people, an amazing woman. QI ZHUYINNN owns my life, I really adored the fact that she was a badass and that she never hated the fact she was born a girl, slay. Bai Cha was really out there helping women that were sold and their children, that is some real sorority there. Lu Yizhi was so kind, loved seeing her interactions with Lanzhou. Li Jianting was everything, her story was one of the saddest and yet she was doing her best to become a ruler. Duo Er'lan was amazingly brave, even more than Hasen, mad respect for her.

And last, but definitely not least, there is cezhou. I have no words to explain how much I adored these two. The way both of them got their own development and had their own private goals and went after them, so good. They are so well written that I wanna scream. The chapters that are focused on Lanzhou's feelings are not big in number, even when he is the main character, his feelings are shown in discreet ways (the handkerchief!) and most of the time we don't know what he is plotting or thinking. But when we take a peek at what's going inside of his heart, it's... astonishing. And I love seeing how he actually cared for the side characters, even though he doesn't show a lot.

And Ce'an kind of caught me off guard, I thought he was going to be a totally different character but he went and delivered

Xiao Chiye was a perfect fit for Lanzhou and Lanzhou was a perfect fit for Xiao Chiye: they were both in similar situations where only them could understand each other's suffering, and after they leave Qudu we see how much of a match made in heaven they are (not just romantically, but strategically).

THE SEXUAL TENSION AT THE BEGINNING YALL... They were scheming/fighting and flirting at the same time. Iconic.

Read this, you won't regret it!

By the way, I started reading the story in December and finished by March, but I completely forgot to post this! College has been frying my brain these days.

Hopefully I will resume my Sha Po Lang reading and come back here to tell my opinions on the book. (Not sure when though.)

See ya!