#oh joely

[juletheghoul]

Grown

AN: I am sort of going through a writing bender? A manic episode? I don't know, I just know that if I don't get it down I will lose my mind. I have been wanting to write an age-gap fic for Joel (aside from LMF) for a while but I couldn't really find the format or the idea that I could sink my teeth into. There are SO MANY good ones out there, I even had a whole other thing started but it got too intense, and making it sexual wouldn't have been true to that version of Joel, so here is what I came up with. (I kept Tess out of this story) Big thank you to @foli-vora for letting me exorcise this demon, and to @frannyzooey for putting up with my endless messages and voice notes through discord, love y'all! (this is unbeta'd and barely proofread, any and all mistakes are mine)

Joel Miller x F!reader (sex worker) (Joel calls you ‘Pretty’)

Pairing: Joel x F!Reader

Word Count: 4.9K

Warnings: (18+ NO MINORS) , language, Smut 18+, PIV sex (wrap it up), fingering, cream pie, one lonely little lick of his cock👅, come play sort of? dirty talk, age gap (legal), feelings of guilt, talk of sex work, some of it traumatic (no details, no violence)

Let me know if I missed anything!

reblogs are appreciated

Masterlist 

He was a risk, calculated but definitely worth it up close. He fidgeted, flexing and unflexing his hands as you moved around the tiny studio apartment. Your home, and ‘office’. You’d searched long and hard, and paid a hefty price for the soft lamps, the newish linens for your bed, the homey touches.

He shifted his weight as you put the quilt down, separating the outside world from the privacy of your sheets. Easier to clean up after too. 

“Boots off, please.” You gesture to the place by the door, and he nodded with a frown. 

“Sorry.” He groaned as he brought his foot up and for a moment you saw his age, through the pleasant features. 

“No problem, how do you want me?” You stand at the foot of the bed, naked under the well-worn, but cherished robe and for a moment he gawps. You don’t laugh, men don’t like it when you laugh. “On my back?” 

“Wait- how old are you again?” He pads over, tall and broad, obscuring the light source when he walks past it. 

“Old enough.” You smile, “come, why don’t you sit here with me?” You hold out your hand to him, and after a tense glance, he takes it and sits where you gesture. His grip is firm, but soft, years of hard work rooted in the calluses that meet your significantly softer palm. It isn’t a turn off though, he’s a man, men work hard. The real ones do, or did anyway.

“How long do I have? S’there anyone else…?” He trails off, his voice cutting off and you smile, placating. 

“You have as long as you need, tonight's all yours.” You sit beside him, and put your hand tentatively on his arm, channeling every single ounce of calm you have and pouring it into him. He’s warm and alive beside you, heat radiating off him under the soft pass of your thumb against the skin peeking out under the denim sleeve, you let the soft light, the light patter of rain outside your window work on him. He surveys the area, learning the layout of your space and you don’t interfere, you follow his gaze and try to see it all from his point of view. 

It's small, but comfortable. It’s exceedingly clean, you’d spent hours and hours making sure, back breaking hours on your hands and knees scrubbing and washing and it had paid off, no matter how sore you’d been after. There’s a little table, with two chairs, a big lumpy chair near the window, where you spent most of your time not working curled up with one of your precious books. He noticed the tiny chest of drawers, the top of it clear except for a half-full glass of water. He saw the baseball bat leaning against the wall tucked just behind it. 

“Can I get a little closer?” You scoot a little, pressing your thigh to his, turning to hold his restless arm between your breasts, your fingers intertwining with his while he got accustomed to your own warmth. Those big, callused, hard-working hands wrapped up in yours. Invitingly warm.

Some people needed a little push, sometimes they were nervous on how to start and they needed someone to get them out of their heads. Some wanted to talk, to sprawl out naked with you and get all of their thoughts out. 

Loneliness is the main malady you alleviate. 

Some didn’t want to talk at all, some just wanted you to open your legs and take, and that was okay too. Everyone had their thing. 

“This okay?” You put your linked palms on the little bit of skin poking out through the gap in your robe, your skin surrounding both sides of his hand. 

“Yeah, s’okay.” He watches the robe slip open, and his other hand joins the fray, pulling it apart to see more of your thigh. He licks his lip as more of you is revealed and you artfully let the shoulder slip, drawing his eye up to your cleavage. He pats his leg, and you get a genuine thrill, sliding over and up onto his lap. He needed no further guidance after that, now that he had permission, his body was taking over. 

His eyes were dark, focused, tracking the line of your throat when you swallowed thickly. He watched the way your breath hitched when he slid his hand up your inner thigh and found you bare underneath, his fingers slipping through the silky hair at your mound, his fingers parting your lips softly to find your slick folds. He lets out a shuddering breath at the same time you do, when his finger slips over your clit. 

“I’m too old for you, pretty.” He watches his hand between your legs, using it to spread your thighs enough to see your pussy dripping for him. 

“You don’t feel too old.” You hold onto his neck, giving him more access and your stomach drops to feel him hardening under the swell of your ass. You pull his hand from between your legs, and dip his fingers into your mouth, hollowing your cheeks around them before pressing them back against your achy clit. He pulls a genuine moan of pleasure at the extra slip when he swirls around your clit nice and slow. Tortuous, and talented.

“So fuckin’ soft,” He glides his fingers down, circling your entrance but his eyes are focused on your mouth now, “bet you’re tight as a fist, aren’t you baby?” He slides two thick fingers inside and you clutch at him, more turned on by him than you’ve ever been doing this line of work.

It’s a stretch, but he works them in, pressing against your upper wall, looking for something and when he finds it you whimper in his arms. 

“Do you kiss?” You barely hear him over the blood pounding in your ears, his fingers curling inside you, and he puts more pressure on the button he’s found and you moan, lost and mindlessly enjoying the fullness. 

He presses devastatingly soft, tender kisses to your throat, completely at odds with the wet sounds of his exploration between your legs. 

“Baby, can we kiss?” He repeats it, this time with his fingers still, but stuffed deep. You press your mouth to his, humid and hot and he tastes like the good alcohol you have stashed in your cupboard. He groans and his fingers scissor inside you, squelching between your legs with every lazy pump. He traps your bottom lip between his, alternating a teasing bite to the plump of it, with deep licks into your mouth. You’ve never been kissed like this. 

“You just gonna use your fingers?” He pulls away to skim his nose down your neck, bunching the top of the robe in the splayed hand at your back to pull it down from where it hangs on your shoulder. His mouth engulfs your nipple when it falls and any thoughts that he may be too old for you seem to slip his mind because he doubles down, moaning obscenely into your skin as you leak onto his lap. 

“No, just wanna open you up, I wanna make sure this little pussy can take me.” Arousal and excitement pools in your belly. 

“What a gentleman.” You laugh, half crazed with lust for this man who just might be old enough to be your father. He smiles, drunk on the way your pussy clenches around his fingers, his spit still shining on your breast. He has a dimple, so boyish in contrast to the grey in his beard and in his hair you can’t help but love it, it suits him.

“Spread your legs a little more for me darlin’,” one hand is heavy on your hip, holding you so you can drop one leg and open up a little more, “I wanna see you come,” he speeds up, his thumb now doing tight little circles against your clit and you moan, unabashedly, “look how wet she is,” he stares between your legs “I just wanna see her come.” He hooks his fingers again and the pressure is almost too much. It only takes a few moments, his fingers pet, pet, pet and then you clench, the pleasure going off in your belly like a bomb, radiating out through your breasts, into your hips, all the way down to your fingers and toes. 

A universe contained within your body, borne of his hand.

“Fuck.” Your legs close over his hand, and he slows down but doesn’t stop, a softer, slower stroke while you catch your breath. “Let's get you outta these clothes.” you start undoing the buttons to his shirt, admiring the breadth of his shoulders, the smattering of freckles littered along his skin. He pulls his fingers out from between your legs, shiny and dripping in you and sticks them into his mouth, moaning at the tang of you. 

Undressing him is like opening a gift. His arms are strong, his biceps flexing when he all but lifts you up to stand, pulling your robe off and away from you like it’s on fire. His midsection is soft, but you can feel the strength underneath when you undo his jeans, tensing in excitement the closer you get to the considerable bulge in them. You curl your fingers around both his jeans, and his boxers, impatient to get him naked. You crouch as you pull them down, mouth watering at the size of him, hard and bobbing in front of you. The muscles in his thighs are firm, his skin so warm and you can’t help but lick a stripe up the underside of his cock on the way back up. 

He lets out a sound like he's been punched in the gut and you take it in like sustenance. 

“Don’t–I’ll come too fast if you put it in your mouth.”

You reach up to wrap your arms around his neck, just as he reaches down to grab and spread the cheeks of your ass, stomach full of butterflies at the feeling of him hard and leaking against your belly. 

“But I wanna swallow it, I wanna feel it in my throat.” You pout and he lets out a shuddering breath, “Don’t you wanna fuck my mouth?” You press your lips to the hollow of his throat, your fingers slipping through the unruly, grey strands at the back of his neck. 

“Not now baby, I’m barely goin' to last as it is.” He turns you, pressing you to lay in the middle of your quilt and he’s quick to follow, fitting himself between your legs, leaning on one arm beside your skull and when he grabs his cock and gives it a few strokes, you almost can’t watch him. It’s too erotic, it looks so big in his hand, too big to fit but you know it will, he’ll make it fit. 

“Jesus Christ,” He whispers as he feeds himself inside you slowly, an inch, before pulling it out, then a little more, until he’s fucking you a little deeper each time. 

There wasn’t enough air in the room to fill your lungs, he took up every fucking drop. You’d been with other men, you’d been with women, all of them taking their pleasure from your body and most of them giving pleasure in return, this was something else. This was almost scary, the way the vision of him above you made your brain buzz and your nipples hard, made your cunt leak all over him. 

He moves up onto his knees, those big hands pull your legs up and apart, pressing the backs of your thighs into your chest, practically folding you in half to slide his cock deeper still.

He snapped his hips hard, pulling a sound you’d never made out of your mouth, again, and again, until it was a continuous babble. He watches the way his cock disappears inside the tight clutch of your cunt with every dirty roll of his hips. He sinks a little further down, and adjusts his stroke, until just the tip of it stays inside of every heavy push forward. 

This isn’t some desperate, lonely old guy looking to get his dick wet, this is a grown man, fucking you like a grown man does and you feel like a grown woman taking it. 

“Joel, baby that’s so fucking good-“ you press your hands to his chest where he leans against you. He’s focused, eyes glazed over, sweat dripping down his nose in his efforts. He shuts his eyes tight for a moment, his pace stuttering slightly and you know he’s not gonna last.

“I wanna see her come with me inside,” he whines, and you don’t want him to stop what he’s doing so you reach down and swirl your fingers around your clit while he watches, “that’s it baby, that’s it, fuck, I’m close-“ he somehow spreads you wider, the wet suck of your pussy is louder, more obscene, more erotic. 

“I’m gonna come, I’m gonna-“ the orgasm strangles the words in your throat, pulsing him out but he pushes back in and you feel it all the way in your toes. 

“Fuuuuuckkk—“ he pulls out and pumps himself furiously against your mound, covering the soft patch of hair in spurt after milky spurt. It’s a lot, some has splashed onto your hip, your belly, you feel it slipping down to where you clench, empty and gaping without him filling you. 

It’s quiet for a moment after, while your blood cools, and he milks himself dry, pumping a few more times despite the over-sensitivity. 

“You got anything for me to clean you up with?” He rubs at the indents he left on the back of your thighs before unfolding you. 

“There’s a little pile of rags in that first drawer behind you.” You point to the tiny chest of drawers, and he groans when he moves up and off of you. Now that he’s emptied his balls, the signs of his age rear their heads. He groans, wincing as he bends forward to carefully wipe everything away with gentle hands. 

It’s nice to see him walk around naked, welcome, you wouldn’t mind seeing it more often, if he came back that was. 

“That was-“ he scratches at the back of his neck, passing the cloth over your belly, “that was really good.”

“I’ll say, it was better than good.” You stretch out and luxuriate like a cat in warm patch of sun, seriously debating offering him time to recover so he could fuck you again. He quirks his lip, the ghost of a smile, the confidence dulled to shy, awkward fumbling. He tosses the rag into the little basket you point to, and he begins the process of getting dressed. You get up when he’s almost done, your thighs, and what’s between already sore and pick up your robe. He’s putting his neat little stack of ration cards on the table when you finish tying it up. 

“Thanks.” He pulls his boots on, opening your door before turning back to find you right on his heels. 

“Anytime.” You smile at him, hoping it won’t be a one-time thing. He moves to step outside but you pull him back, wrapping your arms around his neck and taking something for your own. He kisses you back when you press your mouth to his, it's softer, his tongue sweet when it tangles with yours and you smile into the kiss when he reaches down, and grabs your ass. 

“Bye, Pretty.”

“Bye Joel.”

-

You hadn't fallen into the work, so much as slowly slid into it. The first time had been almost a dare, a challenge to yourself, a proposition made by someone and maybe your own foolish, naive need to prove that you weren’t some stupid baby. A man, an older man that had shared cleaning duty with you had come right out with it, saw you bending over to pick something off the floor and told you that he’d pay every ration card he had for a taste of that ass, as he so eloquently put it. 

At first you’d been shocked, he seemed like a perfectly bland, run of the mill survivor making his way in the QZ, but he’d been serious. You’d asked him to clarify, to repeat his words, and he had. He’d shaken his hands of the dirt and dust of the job, produced a tiny stack of much needed ration cards from a hidden pocket and held them out for you like a cold glass of water in the desert. Something inside you had recoiled, he wasn’t repulsive, but he wasn’t exactly the object of your late night fantasies. Another part though, a hidden little sliver of something jumped at the chance to have some power, some semblance of control and so without much thought to consequence, you’d taken him up on it. 

An uncomfortable fifteen minutes later, he was grunting behind you, stroking himself furiously to paint the cheeks of your ass in his come. 

Once it was done, the little part of you that had welcomed the challenge was curiously absent, and the part that had recoiled was bigger, swelling like some awful, infected limb. But you had rations enough to stop working for a few days, and that took some of the repulsion away. 

It was a while before you did it again. It was a while before you saw the man again, maybe part of you, that ever-present bit of self-preservation urged you to avoid him but he eventually found you again. This time you turned him down, and he hadn’t pressed, but he’d told others. Other men who seemed to sniff you out, some of them older, and less diplomatic and those you told to fuck off. Some of the younger ones though, closer to your age looking for the experience, some of them you took in, with the strict promise to never tell anyone unless they wanted to never see you again. Those experiences were better, less traumatic. 

After that it seemed like things came together, you had a steady string of people who took you seriously and paid up front. 

The first woman had been a girl of around your age, she’d heard from a friend of a friend, carefully and strategically keeping the source to herself. You’d never really given it much thought but once you did it seemed only natural, women got lonely too, and there was nothing about her that you didn’t understand. So you accepted her, took her rations and gave her as much of yourself as you gave the men. 

It’d taken time to establish yourself, to find the regular people you let into the circle, it was all much easier now. With the exception of Joel, you hadn’t taken on someone new in a while, but he made you glad you did.

-

His hands always shake before it starts. 

It’s a light tremble, a couple of fingers in his left hand and you aren’t entirely sure if it’s an injury, or a sign of nerves. He’s hard of hearing in one ear too, his right. You hadn't picked up on it at first but once you do, it makes sense. He tilts his head to the right a tiny bit, turning his good ear towards your mouth. It doesn’t bother you. 

He was older than the rest, that did bother him, but never enough to stop visiting. He dragged it out sometimes, made himself wait, avoided you, but whether it took him a week or a month, he came back. 

“Hi Joel.” You smiled to see him standing at the threshold, fingers twitching by his side, his hair a mess, a small bundle in his grip.

“Hi.” He doesn’t smile back, he’d waited too long, the frown practically tattooed on. He puts the bundle down on the dresser after kicking off his boots, and doesn’t mention it. 

It’s dark outside, later than you usually let anyone come see you but for him you make exceptions. His hands keep rubbing at his thighs, his eyes darting around, you let him settle for a moment, get his bearings before jumping into anything, it’s a dance and you both have your steps. 

“How do you want me?” You finally break the silence once he sits on the quilt. He looks up at you, but doesn’t answer right away, his eyes fall to your cleavage, then down to your waist where the robe is cinched, then further still to your hips. You move closer, until you stand between his spread thighs. 

“Hm? Wanna fuck me on my back? Or should I get on my hands and knees?” You thread your fingers through his hair, slicking it back as best you can, he shudders at your words and at the feeling of your hands on him, putting up his usual show of shame at being here with you, at being older. “Should I get on my knees right here and suck your cock?” His hands land on your hips, his face pressing against your sternum, robe parting enough for him to press his lips to the valley between your breasts.

“You’re too fuckin’ soft, way too fuckin’ pretty to be lettin’ me touch you.” He always does this, has to make it known that you shouldn’t let him do this, that he shouldn’t want you like this. It never stops him, he opens the robe and pushes it off to fall on the floor regardless of his words and moans into the skin of your breast where he nuzzles like a cat.

“Prettiest thing I ever saw.” His mouth laves at one pert nipple, then the other, leaving them hard and shiny when he trails his kisses down to your belly. 

All day you’ve thought about him here, getting to have him to yourself, opening you up and molding you to fit him like a glove, making you see stars like he always does. And all day you’ve felt that slow simmer of arousal, that steady ache to bloom and gape for him, both soft and obscene. The constant excitement of anticipation. His mouth on your nipples only served to turn it up to an inferno, turning you to liquid for him. 

“But I like when you touch me.” You scratch at his scalp, pressing his face into your skin, “I like it when you fuck me, you make it so good, much better than anyone else.��� You flatter him, but you don’t lie to him. You’ve learned to be impartial to your experiences, sex is work. As fun as it can be with some of them, it’s all a means to an end, you need to eat and so you do what you have to do. You are also realistic about him, he is not your boyfriend, he’s not your partner, he barely gives you a second glance on the street but in here, he’s your favourite. He fits you better than anyone and anything, and as much as you hate to admit it, you need him as much as he needs you.

He takes in the words, believes them and relishes them. 

“How do you want me, Joel?” You pull his face up, bending down to kiss him before he can answer and his desperation comes through. His tongue is insistent, his kiss almost violent. 

“I want you here-“ he pats the bed, before getting up to take his clothes off. You help him, both of you working efficiently until he’s as naked as you are. His cock is already hard, the tip of him pearly with his own want despite any and all notions of impropriety. 

His body always betrays him. 

He gets you on your back, but he doesn’t lay on top of you, rather beside you. He doesn’t let you turn to face him, he wants it like this, his body curling around yours to be able to see it spread out for him without himself in the way. 

“Open up for me, s’good, just like that.” He takes the thigh closest to him and drapes it over his hip, positioning himself to enter you from underneath. He lifts his head, showcasing his core strength to watch as he brings his cock to the open mouth of your cunt, sliding in without so much as a warning. You feel exposed, spread open and bare under his eye and it only heightens the experience, cracking something open inside of you. 

His hips push and pull slowly, lazily at first despite how fucking hard he is but doesn’t last. The sight in front of you there, breasts bouncing with every snap, is too much for him. With one hand free, he strums and plucks at your nipples, opening up the dam between your thighs to ruin the quilt underneath. 

His other hand isn’t idle though, it slips down, grabbing onto the plush of your ass, holding you in place hard enough to bruise. 

“That feel good?” He watches you leak all over him, and knows it does but he wants to hear it anyway. 

“Yes- Yes Joel–” You moan, turning to watch his face. 

“This little cunt goin' to come for me? I wanna see her come, I wanna feel her choke my dick.” He surges forward, swallowing the moan from the source before speeding up. His cock strokes, strokes, strokes and you feel the warmth blooming in your core, spreading like a wildfire through your hips, the release so close you can almost taste it, you whine and he shushes you, his voice soft despite how depraved you feel with his cock kissing something sacred inside of you. 

You roll your hips to meet his thrusts and sweat builds in your hairline and at the back of your neck, collects and slips where your skin and his meet.

“I know baby, I know, I can feel her, she wants to come doesn’t she?” His lips press against your cheek, his words warm against your skin. His lips are so soft, so plush as he pants into your face, goosebumps cover your body. You nod against him, mouth open in a silent scream when he adjusts his angle slightly. 

He’s no longer able to form complete sentences, his words are reduced to a repeated chant of yeah baby, yeah baby, right there, right there huh? Barely formed questions for the answer you know he already knows and then his fingers are in your mouth, stretching out your lips, holding your mouth open in a filthy, yet pale imitation of what his cock is doing.

You drool, and you don’t care but it’s what he wants, he takes it from your mouth and slides it over your clit and it’s like he’s pressed the nuclear codes in your body. 

You want to curl into yourself, but you can’t, his grip tightens, painfully, holding you to take and take and take his cock until he bursts inside you like a ripe berry. His groan is almost more obscene than the act, his groin pressed up against you tight, pressing himself deeper than ever to paint your cervix in his come. 

“Fuck–” He presses the word to your cheek, sliding his sweat soaked face down your neck, to your shoulder. He pulls out after a moment, and you feel him leak out of you. He moves to hover over you, pulling one nipple into his mouth to taste before the blood has cooled, and then the other. He isn;t done yet though, he kneels between your spread legs, inspecting the mess he’s made of your pussy, a self satisfied look on his face. 

“Gonna dream about this, while I’m gone.” He lifts your legs, pressing them up and open and slips two fingers deep inside to push his come back in and as you moan at the act, you cannot help but wonder where that worried, too-old Joel is right now. 

“Prettiest little cunt.” He says it to himself, rubbing his mess into the sensitive walls of your sex like a balm. 

He licks his fingers after, tasting the combined flavours of both of you. Your heart almost can’t take it. 

Once he’s dressed, and you have gained enough strength to get up and put your robe on he’s almost back to his shy self. 

“I have the rations here, but I brought somethin’ else.” He gestures to the little bundle he’d left on your dresser, “I found it, thought you might like it.” He opens it, and it’s a can of peaches. 

“Oh!” You’re genuinely taken aback. 

“You ain’t allergic right?” He frowns, and you smile, something soft spreading through your chest that has nothing to do with the sex you just had.

“No, I’m not allergic. Thank you Joel, I am really excited for this.” You ignore the soreness between your legs and close the gap between you, pressing a soft kiss to his lips in thanks. 

“Well alright then.” He frowns again, and it’s not shyness you see on his face now, it’s awkwardness, it’s a man who doesn’t know how to be soft, but is trying his hardest. 

“Bye Pretty.” He lingers at the door, devouring you with his eyes and even though he was still dripping out of you, you felt naked and exposed, open and spread out for his gaze. 

“Bye Joel, don’t wait too long to come see me again okay?” You press yourself against him, the soft lines of you tucked tight against the hard angles of him. He gifts you with a rare smile but doesn’t respond, save for a toe curling kiss at your threshold before he’s gone. 

Hours later, when your body is truly sore and spent, you lay in bed with a book, eating the peaches he brought, and wonder idly what he’ll bring next time. 

-

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[elibeeline]

Its last of us day again 🥰🥰🥰

[tamara-kama]

Oh wow... This picture of Joely was from 10 years ago today

[wonderlandleighleigh]

anything with lily!!!

At four, Lily looks quite a lot like Esther did, though Esther has their mother's blue eyes, while Lily's are her father's hazel, and one of Lenny's very favorite things is to watch the kids together.

It'd be easy, with the big age gap between Lily and her siblings, for the older kids to ignore her, but they never, ever do. Sure, Ethan (15 and making noises about dating), Kitty (14 and starting to get way too fucking smart) and Esther (eleven, and as outspoken as ever), have their their own things going. Baseball practice and the school paper and orchestra rehearsals, but when they're home, Lily is their favorite person.

On Sunday nights, they watch the Wonderful World of Disney together, and takeout, Ethan old enough to be in charge when Midge and Lenny have work. After dinner, they all sprawl out with their homework on the living room floor and play music while they work, and Lily plays with her dolls, pulling her siblings into the narrative every so often.

They've loosened up at family dinners, too, though Joel, Moishe and Abe are still not in favor of having all the kids sit with the grown-ups, but Lenny loves it. Especially because Lan is there, too, and the kids are all goofy and weird and snappy and clever.

"We should get a boat," Lan tells all of them. "Lenny and Ethan fishes and we can swim!"

"You're not swimming in the Hudson," Abe tells the seven-year-old. "We don't know what's in the Hudson."

"Probably a lot of people your grandparents didn't like very much," Ethan jokes.

Mei laughs, startled, while Joel narrows his eyes at his oldest son.

"You gotta?" he asks.

"It was a good joke," Ethan argues.

Joel rolls his eyes and turns to Midge. "You got anything to say to your son?"

"Oh, so when he makes wildly inappropriate jokes about mafia hits, it's my fault?" Midge asks.

Joel nods. "Yes."

Midge nods back. "Actually, that's fair. Ethan. Not at the dinner table. Save it for dessert."

"Sure, Ma."

"Real nice," Joel grumbles.

Lily giggles, though everyone knows she's too young to understand exactly what she's laughing at.

"Oh, is something funny?" Noah asks his little niece, reaching out to tickle her. "I'll give you something funny."

Lily giggles and squirms, and Astrid laughs, while Chaim (eight and too smart) reaches out to help with the tickling.

"Not too much, she'll throw up," Rose warns, looking mildly amused at the spectacle.

"Yes, let's not end the night with vomit," Midge agrees.

"This is why the children should eat in the kitchen," Abe grumbles.

"The kitchen in our apartment isn't big enough for all six kids to eat comfortably without one of them sitting on the counter," Lenny tells him. "And this is too much fun."

"Sure. Fun," Joel grumbles.

"Cheer up, Joely," Shirley tells her son, patting his hand. "These dinners aren't half as horrible as they were when you and Midge first separated."

"And nothing ever will be," Moishe agrees. "And it's...not so bad having all the kids around. God knows Esther holds her when in a debate."

Esther smiles proudly, and Lenny knows that she'll make a hell of a lawyer one of these days. He nudges her and grins with pride. "Lookit you, impressing the hardasses at the table."

Esther giggles and shoves at his face as he ruffles her hair.

Kitty beams happily and rests her head on Midge's shoulder. "I like eating with everybody. It feels nice."

Midge strokes her hair away from her face and kisses her temple. "Well I like having you all around the table."

"Where's Auntie Susie?" Lily asks, now perched on her uncle's knee and eating some of the leftover rice on his plate.

"Auntie Susie had to go to one of her client's gigs tonight," Midge explains. "But she said to eat an extra apple tart for her for dessert."

Lily's eyes go wide with excitement. "Two apple tarts?"

"Oh, she'll definitely throw up from two," Astrid chimes in.

"We'll split a second one, kiddo," Noah promises. "And then we'll look at the big plant book Papa Abe got you for Hanukkah."

"Flower book!" Lily squeaks happily.

"Midge, you gave birth to a nerd," Joel teases.

"The best nerd," Midge beams, glancing at Lenny.

He grins back and steals one of Esther's carrots, getting him whacked in the arm, making him and the rest of the able laugh.

[lepartidelamort]

Breitbart:

The birth rate in England and Wales has fallen to a new low since records began in the 1930s, with the rate falling to just one and a half children per woman in 2022. Figures from the Office for National Statistics (ONS) found that the total fertility rate fell to 1.49 children per woman in 2022, far below the rate of 2.1 needed to maintain population levels and the lowest since records began in 1939. According to the statistics, there were 605,479 live births recorded in 2022, a 3.1 per cent decline over the previous year and also the lowest overall figure since 2002. The data also showed that the rate of women having children was highest between the ages of 30 to 34, compared to 25 to 29 just twenty years ago, suggesting that British women are delaying having children.

Commenting on the birthrate decline, chief executive of Pregnant Then Screwed, Joeli Brearley told The Guardian: “It is no surprise to us that fertility rates have hit the floor. Procreation has become a luxury item in the UK. Childcare costs are excruciating, and that’s if you can secure a place.

“Our research found that almost half of parents have been plunged into debt or had to use savings just to pay their childcare bill,” she said.

Speaking to the globalist Financial Times newspaper, James Pomeroy, an economist at the HSBC bank, said that without mass migration, the birthrate decline would result in the British population falling by 25 to 30 per cent over the next generation. He claimed that a declining native population either needs “more immigration, higher taxes, worse public services or a higher retirement age”.

The fact is, to raise the birthrate, you have to abolish women’s rights. There is no other option.

Various European countries have tried to raise their birthrates with incentives. They do not work. They simply do not work at all.

I just saw a meme of someone talking about how “based Hungary” will lower your taxes if you have 4 kids. No woman is going to look at that and say “oh wow, cool – I’ll have 4 kids to lower my taxes!”

This is absurd.

You have to take their rights away. That’s all.

Until then, the only people who are going to reproduce are people from cultures that do not have women’s rights.

[lnights]

Let's kick off Blind Channel fan week!

I was originally writing each day to be the person of the day and the timeline, but I just couldn't make it work 😅 I got stuck after Niko and Joel.

So each story will be just on the person, not connecting to each other.

Niko day: can be read as platonic or romantic, 801 words.

It's a bit angsty folks 😅

It was so windy.

It was cold on the balcony but he couldn't seem to bring himself to move, to go in and warm up.

He was all alone, but that wasn't anything new. He would think with four bandmates and their crew he wouldn't ever feel alone while touring, but since the last time he had seen his girlfriend- no, his ex-girlfriend, he had just felt hollow inside.

And so very alone.

He knew the breakup was coming, they were trying to tour more, she was getting through university, and they just wanted different things in life; but knowing it was coming didn't make it hurt any less when she told him it was over, no they couldn't talk about it and there was no way to work it out.

Niko sighed and took another swig from the bottle of white wine had opened, it was probably Joel's but he would have to buy him a new one because there was less than a glass left now.

Hadn't it been full when he had opened it? When he had grabbed it before he decided to sulk out on the balcony while everyone else celebrated a successful show?

Huh.

Niko shrugged and chugged the last that was in the bottle, Joel could gripe at him later if he needed to.

He needed to go in, it was dark and cold and while Olli and Santeri were sharing a room with him that night, he didn't want to talk with anybody and it would just be better if he was already asleep when they came in.

But he found himself taking a few steps forward instead of turning around to go back into the hotel room, looking over the side of the railing.

It was so high up…

How easy it would be, to never have to feel that heartbreak again…

Some part of him that was still rational was screaming at him to get away from the railing, to let go of it and go to bed, that it would all be so much better in the morning.

But the other part was whispering to him, telling him he didn't have to continue that way. That there was a way out-

"Niko?"

He spun around, his head continuing to spend even after his body had stopped, to see a wide-eyed Joel standing in the middle of the doorway, he hadn't even heard it slide open.

"Oel?" He slurred, "what are you doing er?"

"You texted me." Joel said cautiously, "a few minutes ago?"

Niko frowned, his phone had been in his hand while he was sitting, it was even still on the arm of the chair he had been in. But he didn't remember texting anybody.

Joeli moved a little closer, as if trying not to spook an animal, "yeah, I think you were trying to say you drank all my wine? It was a bit garbled."

"Oh," Niko nodded a little, leaning back on the railing and tilting his head back, "yeah, drank it alllll."

"That's ok." Joel sounded closer, "why don't we get you to bed?"

Niko nodded a little and instantly regretted it when his head started to spin once again.

He had a arm wrap around his shoulders and pull him away from the railing, staying firm around him until they were back in the room, the harsh lighting hurting his eyes.

"I know," Joel sighed when he let out a groan, "Just close your eyes, you just need to sleep it off."

Somehow he fumbled while trying to button his pants, alternating for a moment between trying to do that and trying to pull off his shirt and failing at both before he felt long fingers brushing his away and doing it for him.

The same hands helped him slide under the covers of his bed, carefully pulling the beanie off his head so he could lay directly on the pillow.

"Don't go." He whispered when the hands pulled away.

"I'm not," Joel whispered back, "just give me a moment."

He could hear clothes rustling, the small sound of something being placed on the ground by the bed, and a small ding of a phone before the covers lifted again and a warm body slotted behind his, an arm wrapping so lightly over his waist.

"It'll get better," Joel whispered, "you still have the band, your music and novel ideas… you still have me. You always will."

Niko would open his eyes if he could but they were so heavy, his brain was sluggish and he could barely keep up with what was being said, but he understood that.

So he whispered back, "love you."

Joel gave a slight hum in acknowledgment, just holding him until he fell asleep.

They didn't talk about it in the morning.

[juletheghoul]

I think one of my favourite little details about Joel, is that he also sleeps with a fan, and as someone who literally cannot sleep without the fan as high as it can go no matter the temperature—I feel seen.

[bookcalanthedaily]

But oh, how the devil rejoiced. inspired by x.

joely richardson as book!queen calanthe.

[tinytinybumblebee]

Oooh following on from super quiet Joel, when he does start making noises, just little whispers and hums, all his carers start going super hard on encouraging words, "can you say mama? Maaa maaa, let's go say hello mama" "oh its a kitty, do you like the kitty? Is it a kitty? *says kitty 1000x tryna get Joel to repeat it*" Joel just finds everyone suddenly talking strange kinda funny and grabs at Frank's face bcs he does silly eyes along with it

Ohbmy gosh😭💖💖

"Oh you want your red car? Can you say car? C-c-caar? Vroom vroom?"

And Joely is just sitting there, head tilted to the side like a confused puppy. Like, yes he very much would like the car! Why do they keep saying the word?? Adults are soooo silly!

Frank definitely one to lay the speech trying on thick xD He'll be reading a story to Joel and pointing out certain words on the pages

"The littlest bird went 'chip chip!' as it waited for her turn to fly! Hey Jo-Jo, what colour are these birdies? Are theeeey pink? Oooor reeed?"

Joel pats at the page, looking up at Frank, obviously they're blue!! How could Frank not see that?? The tot shakes his head to those colours

"They aren't?? Oh whoa, can you help me figure out their colour, buddy? Do you know?" Frank ask in that sing-songy voice he gets when asking tiny Joel questions.

Joel thinks for a moment, his thumb pressing against his lower lip as he looks at the page.

"Boo?"

"Blue? That seems like it! Thank you so much, smartie pants!"

It's figured out that they have an easier chance at having tiny Joel say words when they form it as him helping the carer's figure out a word or answer ;u; it makes him feel like a helper!!

[omarandjohnny]

Speaking of Halloween...

(when am I ever not)

Extremely rare that I change my mind regarding costumes, especially this late in the game, but Joelie came over for dinner tonight and we revisited some older costume ideas.

He's definitely dressing up as Ernest this year, and I decided that since there's no way I can outdo my Yatsu of 2021, I volunteered to instead dress up as Ernest's Auntie Nelda:

(I think I may still have the pearl necklace from my Tangina Barrons costume, will have to have a rummage in the closet…)

Last time we had a proper theme for costumes (aside from Every Saturday is Halloween), it was when we dressed up as Undertaker and Paul Bearer back in 2017:

Oh, we are gonna have SO much fun this October 😂😂😂

[theresawritesstuff]

“Don’t look at me like that, I wasn’t the one who got us in this mess.”

I kind of went off the rails with this one.

Contains season 5 spoilers and a lot of Joel but he's getting a talking to so hopefully you won't mind... I dunno I liked the idea. Hopefully you will too.

"Joel…"

A woman's voice called softly to him through the darkness of sleep.

"Joooooeeelll…"

A pillow hit him abruptly across the head. 

"Hey! Wake up dummy or I swear I'll smother you. See how you like it," the voice demanded much less sweetly.

Joel sat up with a start, batting the attack away. 

"What the fuck?!"

"There he is!" 

The unfamiliar woman the voice belonged to beamed brightly, sitting at the edge of his bed.

"Wha– who are you?" he asked, blinking at her bleary-eyed.

She rolled her eyes at the comment. "Oof. A little advice, that's not what a gal wants to hear, generally speaking."

She waved her hand around, loosely gesturing to his bedroom as she flopped back against his pillow.

Joel blinked at her dumbly, trying to make sense of it. 

He had had his share of drunken one night stands but this chick was not his type and they were both fully clothed.

He didn't even remember drinking anything…

"I'm sorry. Did I–did we…?"

"Ew, no," she responded instantly, making a face in disgust for good measure.

"Well excuse me, strange woman in my bedroom, for making assumptions," he spat back at the insult.

She exhaled a sigh, some of the impishness draining from her demeanor.

"Okay, you're right, that's on me. I just figured the twin thing would kick in and you'd catch on right away but I can see now you're a little slow on the uptake."

"What?"

 She stuck out a hand in introduction. "Josephine Maisel. We shared a womb briefly."

"Excuse me?" 

He stood from the bed, shocked by the claim.

"Or maybe would they have called me Jolene?" she mused to herself, paying him no attention. "Nah, that would have been a nightmare. We'd never know which of us was in trouble. Probably you."

She looked up at him with a smirk.

"I don't have a sister," Joel asserted.

"Well no, not technically, because you absorbed me in utero. Ya big jerk," she batted back lightly.

"What?"

She waved him off. "Oh, don't worry about it! We were just cell clusters when it happened. Water under the bridge."

"I need to sit down…"

He sank back down on the end of his bed, rubbing his temples.

"Ma doesn't know, so don't bring it up."

"Who are you really?" he demanded, glancing over his shoulder.

"I told you, I'm your sister. Josie Maisel. And you, baby bro, are in need of some serious sisterly guidance. So here I am!"

"I thought you said we were twins."

She shrugged. "Well, yeah, but we both know I would have come out first if you hadn't cheated before the starting shot on the race down the ol' birthing canal."

"Ew…" Joel grimaced at the imagery.

"How's this? I'm a manifestation of your psyche here to call you out and set you straight because apparently no one else is going to do it," Josie explained. "Better? Easier to wrap your head around?"

"So you're my conscience?" he wondered, looking over at her more fully.

She nodded her head noncommittally. "I was sort of getting attached to Josie but sure, if it makes it easier I can be your Jimminy Cricket."

"Fine…" he huffed, shaking his head. "So why are you here?"

"Because you fucked up big time, Joel. Or you're about to, rather."

"Look I know I screwed up with Midge before–"

Josie shook her head. "Oh Joely, you have got to let that woman go."

"What do you mean? We just kissed the other night after Zelda's wedding. We're, I dunno, we still could…"

"Yeah, I know all that," she informed him flatly. "And I don't care what you keep trying to tell yourself, that ship has sailed. Stop trying to retread those waters. You're only going to drown the both of you."

"She kissed me back," Joel insisted.

"Well, her brother should talk some sense into her too," she quipped.

He glared at her sourly, prompting another exhale from the figment of…whatever she was supposed to be.

"Look Joel, I know you care about her–"

"Of course I do! She was my wife! She's the mother of my children, she–"

"And because of that you'll always love her?" Josie finished.

"Exactly."

"But that's the thing Joel. You care about her. In some ways, because of who she's been as a figure in your life you love her. But you don't love her love her. You get what I'm saying?"

He exhaled, scrubbing at his face and flopping back against the bed to stare up at the ceiling.

"Yeah…"

"It's okay that you two aren't meant to be like you thought," she replied comfortingly.

"So what? You think I should just write her off?" Joel grouched.

"No."

"Ignore the fact Susie's got her tangled in mob contracts?"

"Joel."

"Because I can't do that! This isn't her fault and I'm not going to let it drag her down. I can't…"

He covered his face in his hands, getting choked up.

He couldn't let her down again…

"So you're just going to fall on your sword and take her place instead. Get your own hands dirty so that it's you that your kids have to see get dragged off by the feds, if not worse."

He shot her another tired glare.

Josie shrugged, “Hey man, don’t look at me like that, I wasn’t the one who got us in this mess.”

He heaved a tired sigh. "I don't know what else to do…"

"Have you forgotten about the very scary Chinese men in suits who hang out in your basement?"

"That's Mei's family. I'm pretty sure they hate me," he reminded her.

"Maybe. But they'd probably hate you more if you invited a different gang in on a cut of their turf," she conceded.

"So I'll sell the Button Club."

She let out an incredulous snort. "You love that club. And furthermore you loved Mei."

"Mei and I are done."

"Still wouldn't hurt to talk to her."

"Yes it would," he muttered.

"Joel..."

"I can't forgive her for what she did! If she was going to do that she shouldn't have said anything. She–"

"You fall in love with the ideas in your head so fast, you know."

Joel blinked at the statement, finally turning over to look at her. "What?"

"It makes you a great businessman," she replied gently. "But you can't try to make a person from an idea. You've already tried that."

"I–"

Josie held up a hand.

"Look. I know you're trying to be noble and your heart is actually in the right place for once. But you're being a real dumb dumb about this plan of yours and it's going to come back to bite you. Work smarter, baby bro."

"How do I do that?"

Josie moved herself over to lay down next to him."Stop trying to go it alone. Use your resources. You're good at that. You'll figure this out. Ask Pop for advice if you really get stuck."

She placed a kiss to his forehead, ruffling his hair.

"And call Mei when you wake up, if for nothing more than the closure."

"When I wake u–"

"Bye Joel," she said, giving him a shove.

He woke up as he fell off the bed onto the hard floor of his bedroom.

As if by fate, the scrap of paper with Mei's number on it stared back at him from the trash.

[notasapleasure]

Emerald City S01E04 (2017)

We're looking for Jeremiah, but Bix and Maarva seem to be here too, from the 'previously on...' (I knew Adria Arjona was in it but not Fiona Shaw)

I didn't check out any context for this and I know nothing of the Oz mythos (bar obviously the Judy Garland film and.....some anime film with a huge paper crane in it I had as a kid??), so I'm going to be a bit ???? about it sorry

Oh, cold city with burned bodies and knights but I'd recognise those shoulders and that protective stance anywhere!!! (I didn’t screencap the shot taken from behind him)

Captain: "Wizard ordered me to burn down Nimbo"

Presumably Jeremiah and the pregnant lady (wife?) are survivors of the massacre (knight's words), given the blood and the soot (I'm trying not to sound approving sorry sorry)

Ooooh evil Joely Richardson 😍 sjdjdjdjffff she's?? Glinda???? Her sister is like a Death of the Endless comic cosplay, smokey eyes for miles and miles

Adria is a Dark and Gritty Dorothy. Did....did anyone ask for that? Is that a thing? She's...a trigger-happy cop?

The...the Tin Man is a victim of nonconsensual cybernetic steampunk surgery?

I don't understand why they made Gina McKee do that ugly husky US accent :(

This man has a grievance indeed...

OH that's....his daughter? oop. Same L for me that I felt watching Fishermans’ Friends where James Purefoy was the dad of the woman in the romance plot. It is better than perpetuating massive age differences in fictional couples though so ok ok

Anyway, he's the spokesman for Nimbo's bereaved I guess. And that snowflake is stuck on his beautiful long lashes 🥺

The Wizard (Vincent d'Onofrio yes I said what I said imagine him behind a great big bushy beard!) is in Nimbo looking for magic.

The magic is presumably the little lost girl 'Sylvie' with shells in her ears who apparently can just..... petrify people

Is Jeremiah the alderman who must be turned by the Wizard rather than killed and made a martyr?

He IS! Oh dear :')

smh this show is so dark, but I’m doing my best for the sake of that beard scruff :’)

"You're the village alderman."

"I have no village."

</3

Ok so he's a magic believer not a science believer and uhhhh there's some weird cultic sounding shit about how the Beast that came to their village wasn't something they needed saving from because it 'cleansed and purified' then he asks if the Wizard's ""''"SCIENCE""''" can save his unborn grandchild and the Wizard's like: itsfreerealestate.jpg

Maybe it's a good thing? Bringing obgyn to the people?

Uhhhhhh

(whoever shot this scene hates Me personally)

Nope. Jeremiah's conversation to Science happens because the Wizard gets his dudes to hold a sword to his daughter's bump 🙃 while Bill Withers (Dorothy's idea of magic, via her iPod, which she put on in another scene that preceded this one) plays in the background. Surreal. But it gets Dorothy some action, so yay?

And the episode ends with a woad-painted Ólafur Darri Ólafsson slinging a boomerang at Dorothy.

Hm! Ok.

---

Rating

Dead? Nope

Evil? I’ve no idea what the deal with magic vs science is here but I’m going to say no, not evil, because the Wizard is the one threatening people and burning their villages

Affects the plot? Presumably by agreeing to side with the Wizard he has some effect but fuck knows what it is

Look, I can’t deny that I see a character covered in grot and blood and want to lick them (Ironclad awoke something in me), but these scenes were hard to screencap and the character’s not around long enough for anyone to get invested. 2.5/5 because it is a good look still.

[marvelous-mushroom-lady]

So I decided to watch a TLOU part 2 gameplay and I am NOT OKAY.

HEAVY SPOILERS AHEAD MY DUDES:

Start to just before that *scene*:

Joel telling Tommy about everything while meticulously cleaning a guitar. Almost like it’s a touchstone.

Little Ellie drawing everything as a little exercise in therapy

Joel being such a sweet Papa Bear  That facking cover and his voice breaking and Ellie can’t help but respond and smile I cannot

”It did not suck” Young miss Ellie continuing her little shit era proudly OK Jessie no need to be this hot AND have a southern accent AND being a good bro AND a queer ally of course no one this perfect will last long

Honestly Dina should’ve just dated both of them 

Well then! Watched the weed lab scene at work, like a horny dumbass. This scene is perfect but also I am spoilered to death so it just makes it worse. 

“You make me want to walk out into the storm”“Who’s stopping ya?”

Godddang it sapphics quit it! (Hits the ladies with the horny stick)Who even needs foreplay here, really? 

Dina has got so much game I do not know how Ellie so much as hesitated. 

Jessie being annoyed that the girls were smoking and boning on patrol and for no other reason at all is very much the greenest of flags

The look on Abby’s face when they introduce themselves

Tommy and Joel being nice and trusting towards the very beefy lady who knows how to use a gun is peak character development and also very upsetting that this was their true downfall. Joel from five years before would never. Can’t wait for this to be played by our sweet Pedro. 

Joel and Tommy being Dads asking Abby if she’s okay and being so concerned. 

Joel and Tommy being led by Abby to (their demise) the hideout.

Honestly fack Abby’s dad. Dude had a bachelor’s degree in Biology and didn't even bother to train anyone else in the very likely case he would die. He deserved that death (thematically only not morally) just for that giant god complex. 

“You act like you’ve heared of us” Oh Joely, baby, sweet prince. Sorry about your leg man. 

I watched cut clips of this scene in video essays years before but yea shit hits different when you watch it like a movie. And Ellie running around the woods. I didn’t play the game but desperately running to look for him must be a new kind of narrative torture. 

Thanks this was brutal. Ellie’s screams man. God Ashley did good here. I felt torn apart along with her. And knowing this is gonna happen was as bad as watching the show’s version of Sarah’s death. I had to take a break after that. 

Edit: Continued to watch without really recording any coherent thoughts so everything else will be summarized into an “end of watch” review because I always have such bad vertigo after watching for more than 30 minutes of gameplay. 

Also I am highkey into Abby and I now understand why we the queers claimed her she is so gosh darn pretty I hope they find an actor who can embody this vulnerability in a tank body. 

[theay7aga101]

Joel : [in the house on the beach] I have to go. I have to catch my ride.

Clementine : So go!

Joel : I did. I thought maybe you were a nut... but you were exciting.

Clementine : I wish you had stayed.

Joel : I wish I had stayed too. NOW I wish I had stayed. I wish I had done a lot of things. I wish I had... I wish I had stayed. I do.

Clementine : Well I came back downstairs and you were gone!

Joel : I walked out, I walked out the door!

Clementine : Why?

Joel : I don't know. I felt like a scared little kid, I was like... it was above my head, I don't know.

Clementine : You were scared?

Joel : Yeah. I thought you knew that about me. I ran back to the bonfire, trying to outrun my humiliation, I think.

Clementine : Was it something I said?

Joel : Yeah... you said "so go." With such disdain, you know?

Clementine : Oh, I'm sorry.

Joel : It's okay.

[Walking Out]

Clementine : Joely? What if you stayed this time?

Joel : I walked out the door. There's no memory left.

Clementine : Come back and make up a good-bye at least. Let's pretend we had one.

[Joel comes back. Clementine walks down the stairs towards him]

Clementine : Bye Joel.

Joel : I love you.

Clementine : Meet me... in Montauk...

[lorilane33]

Oh Joelie 🥰🥰🥰🥰🥰

Brain Scramblies

Joel Miller x Fem! Reader

Summary: Bubbly and sweet Reader slips and falls at Tommy and Maria’s anniversary party, hitting her head hard on the floor. Tommy tasks Joel, her grumpy patrol partner, with getting her home safe. In her dazed state, she spills to Joel how she really feels about him! Basically two idiots dancing around their feelings for each other

Word count: 3.6k

Warnings: Talk of traumatic brain injuries, but that’s it. Brief mention of smut but mostly goofy fluff. Joel is afraid of feelings lol

A/N: I actually don't feel fantastic about this story, but felt like you all deserved something new from me to satisfy the absence. Next week I'll have a bit more time to continue my bd!joel story and a few others! yes, the title is from wwdits. my other favorite show lol

if you like this story, please leave me a comment 🩷

masterlist

It’s a beautiful night, laughter and music fill the air of the Tipsy Bison bar in Jackson, Wyoming. It’s Tommy and Maria’s anniversary party and you were having a ball celebrating with the two of them. Tommy and Maria loved you, and you loved them. You often babysat their child, took care of chores around their home, and brought them baked goods and other treats. They loved you like you were their own. 

The party was a blast, you spent the night dancing and chatting with Tommy and Maria and others. It couldn’t have been a better night.

Until you trip over your own feet. .

Boom. In one swift motion, too quick for your brain to process, your legs kick up into the air and your back slams the ground, your head following suit. 

Your vision goes dark then, voices fading out. You feel a strong pair of hands grip your shoulders and jiggle your face slightly. You open your eyes slowly, blinking a few times, and the figure in front of you speaks. “Hey, now. Wake up, wake up, Jesus, girl. What did you do?” he asks, but his words sound muddled, like he’s underwater. “Maria, go get Joel. I think she might have a concussion.” he shouts in the opposite direction.

Your fuzzy vision focuses then and you recognize the friendly face and long black hair in front of you. It’s Tommy. You squint your eyes and look around, confused as to why you’re on the floor. The lights are blindingly bright and the music is blaring. It’s too much for your senses. 

“Can you hear me, honey? You took quite a tumble and it looked like you hit your head pretty hard. Drink too much?” 

You struggle to respond, finding it difficult to form words and coherent thoughts. You feel dazed and foggy and there’s a pounding throb at the back of your head. and “Think I tripped,” you finally mumble out, carefully prodding the back of your skull. 

“Wouldn’t be the first time, you klutz,” he chuckled, tilting your chin and looking into your eyes. “Maria’s getting Joel, I think we’re gonna have him take you home. Infirmary’s closed at this time of night but we can get you checked out tomorrow, make sure you didn’t thump your head too hard.”

Joel. Your eyes widened at the mention of him. Now that was something your brain had no issue focusing on. “Your older brother, Joel?” 

“Yes, Joel, my older brother,”

“I like Joel,”

“I know you do, honey,”

“I really like Joel,” you say through a long sigh. “Isn’t he just lovely?”

Tommy looks at you with an eyebrow cocked, completely amused by your honesty. Tommy and Maria had a feeling you were crushing on him, but you stayed tight lipped about your feelings for him. “Yeah, sure. Lovely describes Joel perfectly,”

Joel was your patrol partner. He was tall, handsome, brave, and skilled. He had the most gorgeous brown eyes you had ever seen, and the prettiest gentle curls atop his head. And he couldn’t fucking stand you. 

You didn’t often go on patrol, but everyone pitched in with patrol around Jackson. Being so near and dear to Tommy and Maria’s hearts, they wanted the best for you and always put you on patrol with Joel. He’d keep you safe, they told you. 

And he did keep you safe. But not without constant grumbling and griping about your sprightly attitude and constant chatter. He thought he had it rough with Ellie, but she was a walk in the park compared to you, with your sweet and pure heart and bubbly personality. 

“What’s your favorite kind of cookie?” you asked him once while traveling horseback through a grassy meadow. It was a beautiful day, the clouds were big and fluffy and tall. The wildflowers were blooming left and right, painting the grass with violet and crimson. You held onto Joel tightly, pressing your face against his back. He tried his best to ignore how much he enjoyed the feeling of your arms around his stomach. 

“You ask too many goddamn questions,” he grunted.

“That’s not an answer,” you scolded playfully. 

Joel stayed silent. You were like an annoying, buzzing bee. If he ignored you, hopefully you’d go away. Easy, he thought. Just ignore the annoying, cute, thoughtful, and beautiful bee. 

You asked him again. Maybe he didn’t hear you, you spoke into his right side after all. Still, nothing. “Joel?”

You could hear him inhale and exhale deeply. He was definitely ignoring you. That just wouldn’t do. 

So you pinched his side.

He yelped in surprise. “Ow! What the fuck is wrong with you?”

“I asked you a question,”

“I’m not answerin’,”

“That’s rude of you,”

“Yeah, well, tough,”

You pinched him again. 

“Gaah!” Joel swatted your hand, nearly losing his balance. “Jesus, fucking snickerdoodles!” he hissed at you. Oh, how you got under his skin. Snickerdoodles were, in fact, his favorite cookies. He wasn’t just saying that to shut you up. His grandmother used to make them for him and Tommy when they were young. His heart broke a little at the thought of her, thankful she had passed long before the world went to shit. “Happy now?”

Yes, you were happy. You rubbed soothing circles into where you pinched him. 

The next day, you whipped up a batch of the best snickerdoodles Joel would ever taste. You dropped them off on his doorstep and left, not alerting Joel or Ellie to what you had done.

Ellie was the one to find your cookies. “Joel, what’re these?” she called into their home, shoving a cookie into her mouth. Joel looked up, rolling his eyes when he recognized the treats in her hand. “Give me those,” he grumbled. 

He took one cookie and examined it, then brought it to his lips. He took a bite, and melted when he tasted the sweet cinnamon and sugar cookie, so buttery and slightly tangy, just how a snickerdoodle should be. It was soft and chewy, just how he liked them.

And dear lord, it was orgasmic. The best snickerdoodle he had ever tasted. He prayed his grandmother up in heaven would forgive him for enjoying it so much, but this was definitely his new favorite. How dare you weasel your way into his heart with baked goods? What a contemptible thing to do. He felt his heart swell at the thought of you and your sweetness. And it fucking terrified him.

Joel put on his boots and practically sprinted to Tommy and Maria’s. Without knocking, he let himself inside and sat down at the table with Tommy as he tried to catch his breath. Tommy looked at him with wide eyes, completely perplexed by his brother. “You have to–” he stopped for a second, breathing in and out deeply. “You have to take her off patrol with me. I ain’t gonna be her partner anymore.” Joel’s heaving began to slow.

“And why would I do that, Joel?”

“She talks too much,”

Tommy let out a dry laugh. Joel Miller, ever the grinch. Heart two sizes too small. “Are we eight years old? Suck it up, big brother,”

Joel shook his head, squinting his eyes and squeezing the bridge of his nose. “She fuckin’ pinched me,” Tommy opened his mouth to speak, but Joel interrupted. “Twice!”

Tommy smiled at the thought of sweet little you pinching Joel. “I’m sure she had a good reason for pinchin’ you. What’d you do to her?”

“I didn’t–it doesn’t matter,” Joel sighed exasperatedly. He had a penchant for the dramatics at times. “You don’t get it. She made me cookies.”

Tommy gasped sarcastically. “No, not cookies. How horrible, Joel! What should we do with her, throw her in jail? Banish her? Feed her to lions?”

“Tommy,” Joel warned with a low voice. “I am not doin’ patrol with her anymore.”

“Joel,” Tommy warned back, matching his tone. “Quit your bitchin’. She’s a nice girl, and you’re gonna take care of her. She likes you, why, I haven’t got a clue.”

Tommy knew the real reason Joel wanted to stop patrolling with you. He was catching feelings for you. And Joel reacted exactly how Tommy expected. He was frightened of these feelings, terrified to let anyone new into his heart. He already made room for Ellie and her bad puns, he didn’t know if he had room for you and your snickerdoodles as well. He did. You were already there. 

Joel and Maria appeared in front of you then, your eyes brightening when you met Joel’s sour expression. 

“What’d you do now, trouble?” 

Trouble. That was Joel’s nickname for you. When he and Ellie finished your cookies, he returned your container to you on your porch.

“Thanks for the cookies, trouble. They were delicious,” he said, his voice was low and gravelly. “Didn’t need to do all that for me.”

“Trouble? Is that what I am?” you asked incredulously.

“Yeah, actually. Pinchin’ me. Talkin’ too much,” Joel did his best to bite back the smile threatening to form on his lips. “And now you’re tryin’ to make me fat, so yeah. You’re a troublemaker.”

Your glassy eyes scanned his face. “What did you do now, trouble?”

Joel bent down to meet your gaze and Maria checked the back of your head for cuts or swelling. 

“Maria says you’re hurt. What’d you do?”

“I tripped and fell,” Joel scoffed. “Figures,” Joel pushed Tommy to the side, crouching in front of you. He took your face into his hands, checking for any other injuries. Your eyes were unfocused and pupils blown wide. He held a finger in front of your eyes, moving it from side to side. You had difficulty following the movement.

“Ouch,” you winced, feeling Maria’s fingers on the tender spot at the back of your head. “I think she smacked her head pretty hard.” she told Tommy. “Very swollen back here.”

“She’s not following my finger. Think it’s probably a concussion, but I don’t know for sure,” he said. “She seems pretty out of it.”

In your fuzzy state, you reached forward and held Joel’s face, mimicking how he did to you. “Handsome,” you murmured. 

Joel felt his face go hot at your compliment. You thumbed his cheeks, savoring the feeling of his prickly hairs on your fingertips. “Uhh,”

“You’re so handsome,” you repeated. Not even drinking a barrel of whiskey could have pried that out of you. You did a number on your poor brain. 

“That’s nice, sweetheart,” Joel turned his head to the side and coughed, trying to hide his embarrassment. He gripped your wrists and pulled your hands away from his face as you pouted. “Think she needs to go home.” “That’s right. You make sure she gets home safe,” Tommy said. 

Joel looked up with a furrowed brow. “Me? Why can’t you deal with her?” his words came out more bitter than he intended, like taking you home was the biggest inconvenience of his life.

“Hey,” you whined. How rude!

Joel apologized quickly. “I’m sorry. Didn’t mean it like that,”

“Because it’s our anniversary, and I told you to keep her safe. Remember? Come on now, Joel. Be a gentleman,” Tommy motioned to Maria to help you up. Slowly, you stood up. On shaky legs, you felt your knees begin to give out. Joel lunged forward to catch your fall. 

He rolled his eyes with a sigh. Joel held out his arm for you and you wrapped your hands around his bicep. “Can you walk for me, trouble?” He didn’t actually mind leaving the party early. He wasn’t having too much fun anyway.

“I’ll do anything for you, Joel,” you erupted into a fit of giggles. “You’re so strong!” 

Joel felt his face go warm again as he cleared his throat. Wow, you really did hit your head hard. Joel was used to being flirted with, but this was an entirely different animal. You hit your head so hard it knocked your filter loose. What would you say next?

 His eyes darted to Tommy and Maria, who stood there watching you both, smirking. “Take good care of our girl,” Maria ordered.

Joel begins walking slowly, taking careful steps. You stumble along and can hardly maintain your footing as you make your way out of the bar. You’re still giggling and squeezing his arm. “You are so strong and so handsome!” you squeal.

“Jesus,” he whispered to himself. Was this real you or concussed you speaking?

You walked silently for a bit, gaining a slow and steady rhythm. The world around you blurred and moved quickly. 

“I have a crush on you,” you blurt out with slurred speech.

“That’s nice, trouble,” Joel said, not believing you. You might as well be completely wasted, the way you were making no sense. 

“I mean it,”

“I’m sure you do,” Joel replied sardonically. You tripped again, nearly falling over a second time. Joel caught you and held you tightly. Frustrated, he groaned.“Alright, no more talking. We’re playing the quiet game the rest of the way home,”

“Seriously,” you giggle. “You’re so fucking handsome. You’re the most handsomest man I’ve ever met,” You kept walking and stumbling awkwardly. It was as if you weren’t even walking, just floating along. Your legs didn’t feel real.

“Thank you,” Joel mumbles. He was never good at accepting compliments. But you seem so insistent on informing him of his good looks, he might as well take the compliments in stride.

“You have such pretty brown eyes. Did you know that?”

“I did not,”

“You do. And you have pretty hair,” you paused for a second, catching your breath. “And you have a nice butt,” Joel rolls his eyes, biting back his smile. “I want to have sex with you.” 

“Woah,” he barks at you, unable to contain his shock at your sudden boldness. Where is your fucking filter? Is this even real? Joel will be thinking of this night for weeks to come. “You have brain damage,” he tells you. “Need to stop talking like this,”

“You have brain damage!” You giggle, your feet crossing with Joel’s. Bam. It’s his turn to hit the ground now. You couldn’t walk in a straight line to save your life, even with Joel supporting you. “Oh, shoot. I tripped you.”

“Okay, that’s it,” Joel stands up and without asking permission, he lifts your body over his shoulder. He tries to ignore the fact that your ass is so close to his face. You erupt into laughter, absolutely tickled by his actions. “I know this probably isn’t great for your head, but we need to move. Almost home anyway,” 

“Fine by me, handsome!” you poke his back and his sides. He’s trying to fight off the tingles your touch leaves on his skin. “Are you gonna take me home and have sex with me?”

“Behave,” he warns you. “No, I am not having sex with you. I’m puttin’ you to bed and going to try to forget any of this ever happened. Now quiet, you.”

You let out an angry groan, but oblige. You’re running out of steam, fogginess filling your head even more. You can hardly keep your eyes open. 

Before you know it, Joel is at your doorstep and sets you down. “Where are your keys?” he asks you. 

You slap your thigh, indicating that your keys are in the front right pocket of your jeans. Joel pulls you close and quickly pulls the keys out of your jeans, looking up into the sky to avoid your gaze. He’d need to drink an ocean of alcohol to forget this night. 

Joel fumbles with the keys, trying each one and jiggling it in your door. He figured asking you which key was futile, you were so far gone.

As he’s working diligently to open your door, you can’t help but sigh in admiration. His back muscles tense through his shirt, the fabric stretching and moving back. And god, his ass. So round and plump in his tight jeans. You can’t help yourself. It needs to be pinched. “You really do have a nice butt,” you whisper.

You reach forward and pinch his ass with your thumb and pointer finger. Joel jumps and whips around. “What is wrong with you?” He looks at you with a furrowed brow, but his frustrated heart softens when he sees your expression. You’re smirking, eyes big and without a single thought behind them. You have no idea what you’re doing. He knows that. The real you would probably die of embarrassment if she knew of your flirty and bold antics tonight. He can’t help the smile curling up on his lips. You have to mean all of it, right?. All the compliments and confessions. He knows they’re all true. At least, he hopes they are.

Joel grabs your hand and helps you inside. He leads you through your house, checking each door to find your room. He could ask you, but he really doesn’t want you talking. You need to relax.

Once he finds your room, he turns on the light, leads you inside, and helps you sit your bed. Your room reflects your personality perfectly, so bright and colorful. Decorations everywhere. 

Then, he leaves. 

You feel like crying. Your head feels so murky and full, and the pounding has worsened. “Joel?” your voice is thick. 

No answer. He just left without saying goodbye?

Your bottom lip wobbles and you feel tears well up in your eyes as your heart begins to break. How did you even end up here? What even happened tonight? All you knew is that you felt cold and sick and all alone. Your head feels like it’s going to fall right off. 

You sniffle and hear a thump in the distance. And then another. And another. They’re getting louder now. Footsteps. 

Joel returns and your heart blooms. He always kept you safe, even when you drove him fucking nuts. Of course he wouldn’t just leave you. You see that he has a glass of water in his hand. 

He sits on the bed and faces you. You smile gently, admiring all of his features. His scars, his freckles. His sparkly brown eyes. His salt and pepper mustache. “You didn’t leave?”

“‘Course not,” he grips the back of your head softly and tilts it back, then presses the glass to your lips. “Gotta make sure you’re safe, right?” He doesn’t let you respond to his question and tilts the glass into your mouth, forcing you to take a little sip of water. 

“You take such good care of me, Joelie,” His cheeks turn rosy at his new nickname. How sweet it sounds from your lips. He presses the glass to your lips again and makes you drink. 

“You’re so handsome,” Sip. “Did you know I have a crush on you?” sip.

“I did, actually,” Sip. “Now drink. You need to finish the glass.”

Sip. “You have such gorgeous brown eyes. Like coffee beans,” you whisper. Sip.

“Is that right? Coffee beans?” Well, that’s a thoughtful compliment. He doesn’t bother hiding his smile anymore. 

“Mhm,” Sip. “And your butt–”

“What about my butt?” he teases you with a raised eyebrow. You won’t remember any of this anyway, he might as well play along. 

“Like a peach,” “A peach, huh?” He presses the glass to your lips again, this time not pulling it away. You drink the rest of the water. 

“What about a peach, Joelie?” you question. Your eyes are big and lost. It’s as if the last thirty seconds didn’t happen. 

Your forgetfulness would have worried Joel, but he was no stranger to concussions. Had a few of his own. His daughter, Sarah, also had sustained a few concussions from flying soccer balls. She’d be like this too, acting goofy and speaking incoherently. She was always back to normal within a day or two. You would be okay too. 

“Nothin’, sweetheart,” Joel lifts your legs onto the bed and takes off your shoes, plopping each on the ground. He pulls a knitted blanket over your body and gently leans your head back into your pillows.

You stare into his eyes, his gorgeous coffee bean eyes, let out a big yawn. Your eyes are heavy now and your head feels like a weight, like you couldn’t lift it even if you tried. Joel stares back at you, the gears in his head are spinning. He places an experimental hand on your head and combs his fingers over your scalp.

He continues stroking your scalp, soothing you. Your eyes fall shut, and within seconds you’re in a peaceful slumber. 

He doesn’t leave. He stays with you for another minute, making sure you’re really asleep. 

He still doesn’t leave. One more minute passes. 

He’s still sitting there, stroking your head. He can’t bring himself to leave you. He needs to make sure you’re safe, just like Tommy and Maria told him to. 

He’ll stay here all night, gently stroking your head and your back. Telling himself he’s just making sure you’re safe, that’s all. “Goodnight, trouble,” he whispers. 

He’ll deal with his feelings later.

(if you see this, read out my newest Joel story here!! i worked so hard on it and would love for you to check it out)

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[juletheghoul]

Imagine this man owning a lodge / or inn; (what the fuck is the lodge called??)

^ the face of a man who’s just realized he needs to fix the roof.