#oh how i love my unholy trinity

[kitten4sannie]

pairing: ex! san x fem! reader feat. wingman seonghwa and instigator mingi

genres: omg actual plot ??, exes to lovers, romance, angst with a happy ending, fluff, an attempt at humor, smut finale

summary: during a winter getaway with your friends, you end up having to come face to face with choi san, the man who broke your heart in two just last christmas.

w.c: 8.2k

tags: features the unholy trinity: misunderstandings/miscommunication/messiness, drama (i bring drama-ma-ma-ma~), alcohol use, mutual jealousy, mutual pining, lots of banter, third parties, poor sannie and reader are just two big dummies with even bigger hearts </3,, like 20 flashbacks (okay it’s like 2 but i like being dramatic sue me), too many winter analogies, insecurities, confessions, l bombs, tears, all that jazz

warnings: soft dom! san (literally the softest dom to ever exist IM SICK), subby! reader, pussydrunk san and cockdrunk reader (like these mfs are so desperate for each other it’s actually disgusting), dirty talk, pet names, praise, possessiveness, kissing, a lot of spit (leave me alone!!!), tit play, grinding, body worship, oral (receiving), passionate condomless lovemaking by the fire baybeeeee, breeding kink, bulge kink, creampies

a/n: so i listen to last christmas religiously every year and while i was jamming my hamster brain was like “WRITE WRITE WRITE” so i diddd and yeahh this happened??? lmao but fr this was the most fun i’ve ever had writing since feb filth fest…. like wtf. i gotta write plot forward fics more often this shit’s like a drug man. anyways i hope you enjoy my dear lovelies <33

*shoutout to my sweetheart bunbun @cottoncandy-girl for beta reading and hyping this fic up during the writing process. i would’ve second guessed myself twice as much if not for you. you’re a lifesaver!! mwah mwah ~~

song rec for the general vibe: last christmas by wham obv <3, fool by frankie cosmos, snowfall (slowed and reverb) by oneheart, know me by gemini, easily by bruno major, flowers and chocolate by eyedress

angst: pleaser by the wallows, do me right by gemini, homesick by wave to earth, cherie by hojean

smut: mice city by hotel ugly, between your thighs by jimmy brown, lock me in by hojean, touch by keshi, your love by brb

Masterlist

“Hey, Y/N,” your best friend began, walking around the side of your beat-up car to the trunk where you were busy shoving various suitcases and bags into the small space and trying to make them fit. “So, don’t get mad, but–”

With a case of wine bottles in hand, you slowly set it down on the lip of the trunk, side-eyeing your friend with the intensity of a thousand suns. It was so powerful, it’d probably melt the snow that had been falling around your feet for the past thirty minutes. “Why would I be mad? What’s going on?”

“Just breathe for me, okay?” she sighed, bringing a hand up to play with a few strands of her hair. “So, you know how Seonghwa’s coming up to the cabin with us?”

“Um, yeah…? I don’t care about you bringing your boyfriend with us, you know. Just let me know if you’re gonna fuck so I can put my headphones on,” you replied, lifting the case up and pushing it inside the empty space of the trunk, satisfied that your long game of tetris was finally complete.

She quickly waved her hands, shaking her head. “No, that’s not…” she started, taking in a deep inhale, before letting it out, a wave of condensation hitting the cold air between the two of you. “He invited…someone. Someone you know.”

You bent down into the trunk to move a few items around, making sure they wouldn’t collapse on each other. “Okay? I only know you and a few other people, bestie. Who could it possibly be–”

“It’s San,” she finally blurted out, her face scrunching up in anticipation of your reaction.

Once your ex was spoken into existence again, a flood of memories from the previous year bombarded your defenseless brain and heart, causing you to stand up so quickly, you hit your head on the edge of the trunk lid.

“Oh my god, Y/N, are you okay?” your friend gasped, already at your side, helping you stand up straight and placing her hand on the one you had held against the back of your head.

“Oh, yeah, I’m good. I think that fixed me actually. Ready to head out?” you chimed, giving her a thumbs up with your keys in hand, stumbling a bit in place, your vision fading out slightly.

Sighing, your friend reached for the keys. “Yeah, I’m driving.”

❆ ❆ ❆

Your friend pulled her keys out of the ignition once she parked in a free space near the cabin you’d both be staying at, turning her head to observe the way you were playing with the drawstrings of your joggers, your lower lip jutted out in a pout. “Y/N, are you sure you’re okay? You know, we’re visiting everyone else later, so you can always stay at their cabin, if you’d like. It’s much bigger and has wifi, and definitely won’t have S–”

“I’m not a little bitch,” you suddenly whined, your eyebrows furrowed, your pout growing. “I can handle being in the same cabin with my dumbass ex, okay? I don’t even care that he’s here, actually.”

She nodded her head knowingly, giving you a gentle smile. “Just let me know if you’re uncomfortable, please. And if he starts up with one of his…unique personalities, tell me or Seonghwa, alright? He knows how to handle him.”

“I can handle him myself. There’s plenty of snow for me to toss him into, or some flames if our cabin has a fireplace,” you muttered, too stubborn to admit that your heart would most likely explode as soon as you had the displeasure of witnessing his disgustingly handsome face and charming dimpled smile.

Your friend shook her head slightly, unable to keep from smiling in your direction. “There is a fireplace, yeah.”

You sighed contentedly, admiring the expanse of dense snow, the sundry of oversized pine trees, the far away mountains covered in white, and the cluster of cozy-looking cabins beyond the frosted windshield. “Finally, some good news.”

Once you both got to the front steps of the cabin you’d be staying at, your arms full of the items that you could bring from the car, the front door swung open, almost giving you a heart attack on the spot.

“Baby, you’re here!” Seonghwa gasped, pulling your friend into his arms when she set her stuff down on the porch and spinning her around in a small circle, his eyes twinkling with pure adoration.

Once Seonghwa acknowledged your presence with a warm greeting, you stood off to the side while your friend and Seonghwa kissed and giggled with each other, your arms beginning to feel like jelly, wishing someone would just stamp the words “third wheel” on your forehead already.

“That looks heavy,” you heard someone say in a deeply familiar baritone voice, causing you to whip your head towards the origin, your wide eyes meeting San’s concerned coffee brown ones. “Do you want me to carry it in for you?”

“San,” you automatically blurted out, alarm bells going off, the mini versions of you running around in panic inside your head, your fingers clasping tighter around your things.

“Y/N,” he parroted back in the same cadence, already moving closer to you, his arms sliding underneath your belongings and holding them up with ease, his navy sweater doing nothing to conceal the solid mass of his arm muscles. “Is it like, misogynistic for me to carry your things?”

You opened and closed your hands, trying your get rid of the pins and needles. “No, I’d say it’s progressive since it’s a big dumb caveman carrying my things, so women: 1, patriarchy: 0.”

San offered you a dimpled smile, his wide shoulders scrunching up slightly, as a hearty laugh emanated from his throat. “Caveman, I like that. Should I go find a cave to explore?” He tilted his head, his eyes flitting between yours and your pleasing body line. “Maybe try to start a fire?”

Your heart leapt into your throat, forcing you to gulp it down. You sneered, already beginning to push past him to enter the cabin, only turning your head back to tell him, “Start a fire and jump inside, caveman.”

San smiled at you, seeing right past your act, watching you walk away, before turning his head to look at the two lovebirds still hugging on each other. “See that? She already gave me a pet name.”

❆ ❆ ❆

“Fuck,” you groaned, dropping yourself down onto the surprisingly comfy mattress in the cozy guest room you were occupying, finally done with putting your clothes and toiletries away in their respective places, for the most part, also noticing that the violent hammering inside your chest had subsided.

And then your door opened.

“Yo, this cabin is pretty sick, right? It’s got a nice, cabin-ey feeling to it,” San announced, walking into your room and looking around like he owned the place. Typical San behavior. Whistling casually, he eventually headed over to your side of the bed, picking up a few skincare products that were sitting on your bedside table to study them. “Does this retinol shit really work?”

“Excuse me, but are you lost? This is my room,” you combated, not bothering to get up from the bed you were currently sinking into, simply turning on your back and lifting your head up slightly to glare at him.

“Bro.” San clutched his chest like you had just stabbed him directly in the heart, his eyebrows turning upwards, his bottom lip jutting out in a pout. “Why do you act like we haven’t been inside each other?” He climbed onto the bed, looking down at you past his black bangs. “Matter of fact, I know you better than your little friend downstairs.”

You stared up at him, cursing yourself for wanting nothing more than to grab him by his stupid face and kiss him — but you wouldn’t, not after what he did. “You’re so gross.”

“Like in a sexy way, right?” he quipped, chuckling when you just shook your head. San slowly laid himself down beside you, looking up at the ceiling, reaching up behind his head and cupping the back of it to get more comfortable. “You didn’t argue against the fact that I know you better than your own self proclaimed ‘bestie’, you know.”

You let out a small sigh, resting your hands down at your sides, gripping the quilted blanket underneath you, your heart pounding inside your chest just like it did last Christmas. Did you ever fall out of love with him? Was that why your heart felt so stuck? Frozen in place? Like you had been waiting all this time for San to make it beat again? “Well, for once, you’re not wrong. I…let you in back then, obviously, so yeah, you know me better than she does. You know me better than anyone.”

San began to reach for your hand, hesitating for a second, not even realizing his walls were just as high. If only he could gather the courage to bring them down. “Y/N…”

You turned to look at San just as he turned his whole body towards yours, giving you one of his infamous gazes, his eyes closed ever so slightly, his lips parted, drawing in a breath. He lowered his hand, touching the top of yours, rubbing it with his thumb. “You know what else I know?”

Why did he have to do this to you? Just what the fuck was his problem?

“What, San?” you questioned underneath your breath, seconds away from losing it completely.

His eyes lost their playful twinkle, instead displaying sorrow. “Y/N, I–”

Seonghwa popped his head into the room. “Y/N, have you seen– Oh,” he deadpanned, displaying an oddly delighted smile for a split second, before his lips evened out. “We’re heading to the hang out now. It’s gonna snow pretty hard in a bit so it’s now or never.”

You both sat up from the bed, your cheeks burning like you had just been caught, well, inside of each other.

Seonghwa was about to say something when your friend walked up behind him and pulled him into whisper something, causing him to whisper back, the both of them nodding at each other.

You and San exchanged glances, before all four of you looked at one another. “Are you hiding things from me, pookie?” you gasped dramatically, grasping at your chest.

“No, I’d never hide anything from you, pookie wookie baby bear!” she cried back, running into the room and tackling you back down onto the bed.

San looked to Seonghwa, making grabby hands at him. “Where’s my hug?”

Seonghwa clicked his tongue, pointing at San’s thin sweater as it rose past his hips. “You better put on some more layers before we go, pookie bear. It’s cold as balls outside.”

❆ ❆ ❆

Instead of hanging out inside your friend’s friends’ cabin where the party was at, you loitered outside in the snow, building yourself a snowman. Maybe he’d stay by your side longer than the last one.

“Hey, what are you doing out here by yourself, ba–” San started, standing with his arm just barely pressing into yours, immediately clearing his throat, sticking his hands into his coat pockets. “Y/N, I mean, heh, sorry I’ve had a few drinks.”

You almost broke the empty beer bottle you were using as the snowman’s nose inside your hands from hearing San almost address you as baby, turning your head to look at the adorably goofy smile he had on his stupidly cute face. You bit your lip, wishing he would just say it, the layers of ice around your heart starting to crack. “I figured. Well, how come you’re out here with me, instead of shotgunning a beer or something with your caveman friends?”

Amused, San nodded his head, impressed by your ability to keep up with your shtick. “They’re too busy hanging around the fireplace, you know. The fire’s so pretty, they got distracted.” He grinned at you, grinning harder when you began to smile back at him, his heart skipping a beat at the sound of the giggle that escaped your lips. “I missed your giggle…missed you…” he murmured absentmindedly, pretending to stay busy by helping you round out the head of the snowman, while you stuck a rock into it where one of the eyes would be.

You dropped the other rock, standing still, feeling your mouth go dry. You racked your brain over his words, wanting to ask him why he didn’t stay with you in the first place if he was just going to miss you so much. You missed him too. You wanted him to know.

By the time you had made up your mind, San had picked up the rock and stuck it into the snow, completing the snowman’s face. “There we go. Mr. Snowman’s looking real nice.” He waited for a second, before turning to look at you with a concerned pout. “He’s not cuter than me, right?” When you didn’t respond, he blinked, leaning in. “Y/N?”

Instead of responding, you found yourself wrapping your arms around San’s neck, pulling him into a hug. You didn’t even say anything — you just focused on feeling his warm body against yours, recalling what it felt like to be his. His baby. If only he would just say it.

“Baby…” he whispered just under his breath, so carefully, like he risked the chance of causing an avalanche if he spoke any louder, gently rubbing your back in circles, automatically resting his head on the top of yours like he did last year. “What’s this about?”

“I don’t know, I just–” you murmured into his chest, your own about to collapse in on itself from hearing what he said, hugging onto him a little tighter than before, wishing things were different. “I…I think I’m drunk…”

“Oh…” San replied, swallowing harshly, only pulling away once you started to. He tucked a bit of hair behind your ear, giving you a concerned look. “You should come back inside and drink some water, then. Seonghwa was right to tell me to check up on you.”

Your face fell slightly, the bottle that was stuck inside the snowman drooping inside the melting snow as if it was mirroring your disappointment. “You…only came out here because Seonghwa told you to?”

“Well, I mean, he was the one that noticed you were gone, so he just thought I should make sure you were okay, yeah…” San explained, rubbing his arm.

You nodded your head, a soft smile returning to your face, not wanting San to see the hurt you felt, not yet, anyway. You were still able to hide it as of late. “That���s nice of him.”

“Yeah, Hwa’s a sweetie,” San mused, noticing the sad snowman, reaching out to fix the position of the beer bottle. “Too bad he’s taken, otherwise I’d be wifing him up and giving him the exclusive Choi San Caveman Experience. There’s a trademark on that, by the way.”He gave you another goofy smile, his smile growing when you offered him a few small giggles.

“I think you need water more than I do,” you mentioned, gently punching his arm.

San chuckled, his smile softening, wanting to say so much more than just, “You might be right.”

After a few seconds of too much silence, and too much yearning for an important conversation to take place, you instead pointed to the lively cabin behind you. “You should go get some. I’ll be back inside soon.”

“Okay, sounds good.” He put his hands back into his pockets, lingering there for a moment, before heading back inside.

You stood there for a while, watching the makeshift nose of the snowman begin to droop again, before you reeled your foot back and kicked into the base of the snowman, watching it topple over and fall apart.

❆ ❆ ❆

You lingered near the spiked punch bowl that sat inside the corner of the cabin’s empty kitchen, drinking down a solo cup’s worth of the fruity beverage and tossing the cup into the sink, not noticing another person’s presence until you turned to the side and bumped your nose into their broad chest. “Oh, shit– I’m sorry,” you apologized, backing up a bit to see that you had ran into no one other than Song Mingi, the man you had trauma dumped and cried to for an hour before having mindless rebound sex with after San dumped you. “Min, hey. Long time, no see.”

“Y/N. It’s nice to see you again. Very nice,” Mingi mused, taking a long sip of his drink, just studying you with his amused, half-closed eyes, pointing upwards with his finger. “What are the odds of this?”

“Hm?” Your eyes followed where he was pointing until your gaze settled on the mistletoe that hung from the doorway above the two of you, a memory of the past immediately lighting up the insides of your brain like the flash of a camera, the snapshot still fresh in your subconscious as though it had never faded in the first place, much like your feelings for San — but who were you to admit that to yourself?

“Jesus, what is with people and mistletoe?” you grumbled, crossing your arms over your itchy christmas sweater, ready to shield your eyes so you didn’t have to look at the two people vigorously making out underneath the red berries that were hung from the ceiling of the crowded cabin.

San hovered near you, running a hand through his hair, his eyes studying your scrunched up, flushed face, wondering how you could be so cute. “The origin of mistletoe is actually really romantic, y’know.” Once you met his gaze, his lips curled into a smile, his dimples making an appearance.

You gripped onto your sweater sleeve, smiling softly back at him, your annoyance fading. “Tell me about it then, Mr. Historian.”

San’s eyes sparkled at your reaction, his shoulder gently pressing into yours as he brought his drink up to his mouth. “Mistletoe has always been able to survive in the harshest of winters. Even when everything’s frozen…” When he lowered his hand, the side of his pinky touched yours, sending warmth into the both of your bodies. “….it still finds a way to bloom.”

You took in a quick breath, having to look down at your feet before your heart burst out of your chest as an unintentional ode to Alien and ruined the annual Christmas party. “I didn’t peg you as a hopeless romantic, San.”

“I’m full of surprises, baby.” San hummed, gently taking your chin in his grasp and pressing a kiss to your lips, giggling delightedly as you buried your scorching face into his chest, his heart pounding, wanting nothing more than to show you just how hopelessly in love he was with you, but too afraid to grant you access to the very intense, very full extent of it, let alone himself.

He was full of surprises, so full of them that he was able to show such a meaningful display of love to you and still break up with you on the very same night, with little to no explanation, just a simple ‘I’m sorry.’ Choi San was truly an enigma — one you cursed yourself for still wanting to grasp, to hold, to forgive.

You looked down at Mingi’s drink only for him to motion for you to take it, immediately downing the punch until you were sucking on an ice cube and crunching it between your teeth, satisfied with the buzz coursing through your body, bitterness still seeping its way in your veins. You knew that what you were about to do wouldn’t make you feel any better, but you did it anyway, grabbing Mingi by the collar of his ugly Christmas sweater and smashing your lips against his. What you didn’t know, however, was that San was standing at the end of the hallway, with his hand in his coat pocket, there to witness how Mingi pressed you into the wall.

❆ ❆ ❆

Your friend slowly inched her way towards you from across the brightly lit, festively decorated living room full of your boisterous acquaintances having a battle with each other to determine who could be the loudest, drunkest individual in the room. Currently, it was San, unsurprisingly, who had a beer in one hand while hugging onto the obscenely large Christmas tree in the middle of the room. You couldn’t tell exactly what song he was singing, but you were pretty sure it was a romantic, mostly cheesy pop ballad from the 80s.

“Having fun?” your friend gauged softly, sitting down on the sofa in the corner beside you, clinking her glass beer bottle against yours.

You shrugged, taking a few sips of the chilled beer, crossing one leg over the other. “I made out with Mingi earlier, so that was cool, I guess.”

“You what?” she gasped, pressing closer to you, grabbing your arm and shaking you. “Y/N, oh my god, that’s so —” Her gossipy tone turned into one of concern. “But what about San?”

“What about San?” you grumbled, internally annoyed that all you could think about was San when Mingi’s tongue was down your throat. “He probably already did the same thing, considering how torched he is.”

She sighed, sinking into the couch, very well aware of how San truly felt about you, last Christmas, and how much he wanted to turn things around. Of course she would know. She had to hear it from Seonghwa, who in turn heard it from San off and on for the entire year, but she wasn’t about to speak for him. He would have to do that himself.

“Are you going to play truth, dare, or drink with us?” Mingi suddenly asked you, leaning his hip against the side of the couch, causing you and your friend to look up at him.

“Ehh.” You shrugged your shoulders at him.

He put a hand on your shoulder, squeezing it, feeling someone’s eyes burning holes into the back of his head, figuring San was watching the both of you from the tree, who indeed was, his hands tightening around his beer and the scratchy pine needles he was holding onto. “It’ll be more fun if you join in, Y/N. How bout it?”

You sucked on your teeth for a second, your eyes moving past Mingi to gaze at San across the room, who was now talking to a girl who had came up to him, your stomach sinking at the clear appearance of his dimples. Stupid caveman.

You stood up, fingers squeezing around your poor beer bottle. “Fuck it, I’m in.”

“Good, good,” Mingi replied, smiling absentmindedly, bringing his own drink up to his lips, as if he wasn’t aware of the disaster he was about to bring into fruition — and all for the chance that he could recreate the events of last year’s Christmas party. It led to him having a pretty, teary-eyed girl in his bed to take care of, after all.

❆ ❆ ❆

“Yo, I can’t believe — he actually — I can’t breathe,” someone gasped out in between soundless laughs, falling back into their chair along with their other friends, pointing at San as he trudged back into the cabin past the sliding door, clad in only a form-fitting pair of Christmas themed boxers, wiping some snow off of his shoulders, before immediately going for his mixed drink and tossing it back victoriously, one hand on his hip.

“You bitches really thought I wouldn’t do it,” San chuckled self-righteously, taking another sip, before letting out a low ‘aaah’. “Someone owes me 20 bucks. Which one of you was it?” He held up an accusative finger to one of the girls nearby, who giggled and held her hands up defensively. “It was you, wasn’t it? Give it up!”

The rest of the group laughed in response, drunkenly leaning into each other, gleeful smiles plastered on their flushed faces.

“San’s pretty lively tonight,” Seonghwa said near you, nudging you gently with his elbow. “It’s almost kind of cute, huh?” Poor man was out of the loop, but he was trying, bless his heart.

“Cute?” you muttered, raising an eyebrow at him. “He’s butt-ass naked at a Christmas party. He’s a grown man wearing boxers with candy canes on it. What on earth is cute about that?”

Seonghwa pursed his lips, side-eyeing you. “I don’t know, I just thought you’d agree with the way you’ve been staring at him all night.“

You almost choked on your spit, bringing a hand up to your hair to smooth it out. “Well, it’s hard to keep my eyes off of him when he’s being an annoying ass pick-me like that.”

“But you picked…him.”

“I did. Ages ago, Seonghwa,” you corrected him, watching San out of the corner of your eye, unable to believe that he was letting the girl slip a twenty directly into the waistline of his boxers. As soon as you looked down, San’s eyes were on you, his lips turning into a frown, immediately pushing the girl’s hand away when it lingered a bit too long, his eyes filled with bitter determination. “You know what he did to me. He spent all that time getting my hopes up all year long, only to hit me with the ‘i’m bad with commitment’ card before he left the party last year. That’s bullshit and we both know it.”

Seonghwa sighed in defeat, sinking back into his seat, biting at his lip. “I get what you’re saying, Y/N, I really do. It was unbelievably shitty for him to do that to you, but San…I think he really regrets it. All he talks about is you, Y/N.” Seonghwa turned to face you, gently touching your wrist. “He’s always loved you. He just doesn’t know how to verbalize it.”

You started biting at your lip too, simply listening to your friend’s words, wondering if there was any truth to them. It’s not like you were hearing them from San himself. That would be a different story — though you didn’t know if he was even capable of that kind of vulnerability. “I’d like to believe that, Hwa. I just…”

“Oh my god! With tongue? My virgin eyes!” someone gasped loudly at something, covering their eyes, their friends laughing at his dramatic performance.

“At least someone’s getting some,” Mingi chuckled, while eyeing you, currently holding up the same piece of mistletoe you had encountered together earlier, only this time someone else was under it. Someone that made you wish you had never even came up to the cabin in the first place.

“There’s no way…” you whispered to yourself, unable to take your eyes off of San, who was holding that same girl against him, his hands clutching her hips, his tongue halfway into her mouth by the time you got up from the couch and grabbed a water cup from the coffee table, determined to keep your tears inside your body before you stormed out, but you had to answer to your demons first.

“Y/N, he’s just drunk! He’s trying to make you jealous, okay? He’s being an idiot! Y/N, listen–” Seonghwa tried fruitlessly to reason with you, reaching for your wrist, only for it to slip out of his grasp as you made your way up to San and the unsuspecting woman.

Your bitter, frozen heart quelled you to toss the water at San, watching it splash onto the side of his reddened face, the shock of it sobering him up almost instantaneously, causing him to pull away from the woman and look at you, the weight of his faulty decisions hitting him square into the chest when he saw the tears in your eyes. “Y/N…I…I didn’t mean….I just…” Tears began to form inside his own eyes. “I just wanted you to see me.”

“I see you, San,” you whispered, your voice cracking underneath the weight of your emotional turmoil. “I’ve seen enough, actually.”

San froze in place, while what felt like cement sink to the bottom of his stomach, unable to get himself to stop you from grabbing a freshly opened bottle of booze from someone’s hands and walking away from him.

Your friend tried in vain to reason with you, getting hit with a death glare, before you stormed out. She turned to Seonghwa, whispering “Do something,” encouraging him to run over to San, grabbing him by the shoulders and temporarily keeping him upright.

“San, listen to me.”

San sniffled, his nose sporting a pink hue, as hot tears began to drip down his clammy face, sinking down to his knees, watching as Seonghwa sank down with him. “Seonghwa, I fucked up. I just wanted her to want me. I wanted her to get jealous and take what’s hers. I didn’t know how– a-and her, and Mingi– I just thought maybe if I–”

Seonghwa shook San a bit, his nostrils flaring, his fingers squeezing into his friend’s trembling shoulders. “Get a grip and listen to me!” As soon as San took in a shaky breath and let it out, Seonghwa cleared his throat. “You’re going to put some fucking clothes on, nut up, and go after her. It’s now or never.”

San wiped his eyes, trying to control his breathing. “B-but what do I say, Seonghwa? How can I possibly–”

Seonghwa suddenly pulled him into a hug, clutching the back of his head, feeling San slowly begin to relax against him. “You’re going be honest with her, San. Tell her what you’ve always wanted her to know. The world isn’t going to end after you do. She’ll still be there, and you’ll be safe.”

San clutched Seonghwa’s back, blinking away a few remaining tears. “You promise?”

Seonghwa pulled away, curling his pinky finger around his best friend’s, giving him a firm nod. “Promise.” Seeing the trust inside San’s sparkling eyes, Seonghwa reached up to ruffle his hair, smiling softly. “Oh, and give her that Christmas present you’ve been waiting for her to open.”

A small smile slowly apread across his splotchy face, before he gave Seonghwa a stern nod back, reaching his hand inside the pocket of his coat to feel what had been sitting inside and collecting dust for the entire year. It was time. Things weren’t going to end up like last Christmas. It would be different this time. He would make sure of it.

❆ ❆ ❆

With each passing minute, you sank a little further into the abyss of your memories, as well as the freshly fallen layers of snow that surrounded you, splashes of alcohol melting into it whenever you took a lazy swig and dropped the bottle back down at your side. “You dummy…” you mumbled to yourself, sniffling, your warm tears and body doing its best to combat the chilly environment around you.

Once you reached a street lamp, the warm light glowing onto your damp clothes, the memories of last year, that had once been frozen over suddenly flooded into your mind so quickly, you had to lower yourself onto the gravel beneath you, resting your back against the metal of the large buzzing lamp. “Shit…” You brought your wrist to your eyes, smearing a fresh wave of tears into your slightly damp hair, realizing you had been there before, the deja vu hitting you harder than the icy night wind hit your flushed face.

“San, what’s wrong?” You stood next to your boyfriend, watching him simply stare at the Christmas tree in front of him, his hands in his coat pockets.

San clutched onto the present he had spent weeks waiting to be custom-made and even longer just staring at it inside his apartment, wondering if it was enough, if he was enough, for someone like you.

San slowly shook his head, taking his hand out of his pocket to gently grab your wrist, leaning in to ask, “Can we talk?”

“No, we’re not doing this right now,” you told yourself out loud, smacking the side of your head and shaking it back and forth to hopefully send the memory packing, but it persisted, much like the snowfall around you.

“I don’t understand, San, we were fine! We’re okay. Why are you doing this?” you cried, trying and failing to keep San from leaving the cabin, unable to catch the corner of his coat sleeve until you were both under a street lamp, the light blinking occasionally.

San slowly turned around to face you for a moment, shaking his head, keeping his tears at bay. He didn’t know what he was thinking. How would he be enough for someone like you? Poor San simply couldn’t see the beauty he saw in you in his own self. “I just can’t, Y/N. I’m so sorry. I really am.”

“Can’t what? Can you just talk to me, San? I want to understand, San, please, talk to me,” you begged him, your heart sinking further with each step you took towards him as he continued to walk away. You stopped eventually, in the front of his car, your breath caught in your throat. “So, that’s it? You’re just going to leave? Just like that?”

San stroked his hair with a shaky hand in an unconscious act of self-soathing, tears pricking the corners of his eyes, looking off to the side, before gripping the door handle of his car, as well as the felt box inside his pocket with his other hand, only seeing a blurry version of you by the time he looked back up. How could he explain how afraid he was of you and the love you offered him? How his many walls, like ice, were impenetrable, until you melted them away? It frightened him, so much so that all he could say was, “I’m so sorry, Y/N,” before he got into the car and shut the door.

“You…dummy…” you repeated, this time in a whisper, taking another swig from the bottle and choking down the strong liquor, about to force yourself to down it when you heard what sounded like a set of boots quickly shuffling through the snow.

“Y/N,” San gasped, almost completely out of breath from running through the rough winter terrain, bending forward slightly with his hands on his knees to catch his breath, sending puffs of condensation into the air around you. “I have to – tell you something–”

“Oh, now you have something to say? After all this time? That’s rich,” you scoffed, wobbling a bit as you stood up, trying to put up a front like you had done earlier, though your facade had since melted away, your quivering lips and red, teary eyes on full display. “…Go on, San…”

San finally caught his breath, his heart still hammering away inside his chest, reaching up to his head to stroke his somewhat damp raven hair, trying to swallow the growing lump inside his throat. “Y/N, I…I should’ve said this a long time ago, instead of just leaving you the way I did…”

The longer you stared at him, the longer he felt his walls crumbling around him, figuring that he had no choice but to tell you what had always been lingering on his tongue, buzzing in his heart and mind, and swimming inside his thoughts each night when he was alone. He realized it was worth the risk of having to return to a cold, silent heart, a bitter soul, and even higher walls that he could box himself inside of. To him, you were worth anything.

Your anger slowly subsided at the sight of his serious gaze, his warm coffee-brown eyes studying you like nothing else existed besides you. In fact, nothing did, inside his world, except for you. “San…” you murmured, reaching out to touch his hand, but he already beat you to it, interlacing your cold fingers together.

“I love you, Y/N,” he admitted in the softest, most convicting voice you’ve ever heard from him, slowly pulling out the box he kept inside his coat, opening it to reveal a small gold ring with a jewel shaped like mistletoe, gently sliding it onto your finger when you held your hand out. “I love you so much, baby. So much it terrifies me.”

“Oh, San…” you sighed, breathless, bringing your hand to your chest from being so overwhelmed with emotion. After a moment, you reached for his hand, squeezing it, moving closer to him, his confession and gift warming you up more than a raging, crackling fire ever could. “San–”

“If I had just told you how I felt back then, I wouldn’t have hurt you the way I did.” He squeezed your hand back, his chapped, lower lip quivering. “I wish I could take it all back. It’s all I’ve been able to think about– How I wish I could just turn back time and–”

You silenced San’s words with a gentle kiss, letting go of his hand to wrap your arms around his neck, his arms following suit, closing around your waist. You broke the kiss after a moment to whisper, “I love you too, San. Always have.” You caressed his face, making sure he felt the love pouring out of your words when you promised, “Always will.”

San let out a trapped breath of air, hugging you against him, protectively clutching the back of your head, unable to stop everything he had held inside from spilling out of him all at once.

You simply held him in your arms and stroked the back of his head, not noticing when the light above you had flickered once and went out for a split second, only to shine brighter than it did before, the light warming the exposed skin of your flushed cheeks.

❆ ❆ ❆

San sat on his knees beside the crackling fire, adjusting a piece of firewood, watching the flame catch onto it and travel along the cedar, enjoying the warmth on his skin, eventually turning his head back to admire the sight of you bundled up on the couch with a plush blanket on your lap, your hands clasped around a cup of tea, your eyes admiring your twinkling ring, before you noticed his loving gaze.

“Sannie, come here, love,” you spoke softly, taking one finger off of the cup to beckon him to you, sliding the blanket off and putting the cup down after one more sip.

“Coming, baby.” Eyes sparkling, San inched his way over to you, still on his knees, fitting himself in between yours so that he could wrap his arms around your middle, resting his head against your chest. “Mm, you’re so warm.”

You ran your fingers through his soft, still slightly damp hair, waiting till he looked up at you to caress his cheek, a small sigh leaving your lips. “I’m sorry for what I did to you earlier. I really shouldn’t have reacted like that. It was hypocritical of me.” You ran your fingers gently along his jaw, noticing the way he leaned into your touch.

“No, baby, I’m sorry,” he replied, rubbing his hands up and down your sides, pouting. “I did…that to you in front of everyone…It was really shitty…I just couldn’t think straight after I saw you with Mingi.”

Your face fell, your fingers sliding back into San’s hair to play with it. “I’m so sorry. It wasn’t…I want you to know that there was no meaning behind it, love. I was just bitter. And drunk.”

“I know, Y/N. It’s all forgiven, I promise you.” San reassured softly, responding well to your light touches, nuzzling your hand when it came back to his cheek, his fingers sliding underneath your sweater to squeeze into your sides, sending a light shiver up your spine. “But, you know what, baby?”

“What, Sannie?” Your body temperature started to increase as San brought himself up higher so that you were face to face, body to body, his palms settling onto your bare back.

“There’s meaning behind this,” he whispered, bringing his hands up to cup your face, before gently pressing his lips onto yours. You shared a few firm, passionate kisses, your lips moving against one another’s, hearing San whisper something else that sent a wave straight into your core. “Can you feel it, baby? My love?”

“Yeah, show me more, Sannie,” you murmured against his lips, his mouth slotting back onto yours, almost making you forget to breathe when his tongue began to explore the inside of your mouth.

San sucked lightly on your tongue, before moving down to kiss on your neck, his hands moving further up to unclasp your bra from underneath your sweater. “Can I please touch you, baby?” he asked with a desperation that made his deep voice go up an octave higher.

“Yes, please, touch me,” you responded with just as much desperation, arching your back into his touch when he slipped his hands up the front of your sweater, moving your tits in slow, gentle circles, his lips and teeth attacking your neck and collarbone.

“You feel so good in my hands, baby, fuck, I missed you so much,” San exhaled into your neck, squeezing the roundness of your tits in between his fingers, squishing them together, and lifting them up, only to drop them back down into his palms, groaning all the while. He pulled back slightly, rolling the hem of your sweater up a bit, his hooded, dilated eyes focused solely on yours. “Can I take this off?”

A quick nod was all it took for him to lift your sweater up over your head, your bra falling to the floor. Not wanting you to be alone, he reached behind his head and pulled his own sweater off, his sculpted, muscular upper body bathed in glowing, orange light from the fire blazing away behind him. “You’re so beautiful, Y/N…” he sighed, admiring your body like he did the very first time he saw you bare in front of him.

“So are you,” you replied, slowly running your hands up along his abdomen and back down, his muscles flexing slightly underneath your touch, his eyes following your fingers as they unbuckled his belt, pulling his pants down to reveal his cute custom briefs. “My Sannie, so precious.”

San blushed, his goofy smile slowly disappearing as he unbuttoned your pants, biting hard into his bottom lip once he got them off of you. “Baby…” Unable to just sit there and admire you, he reached forward to cup your tits, running his thumbs back and forth over your stiff nipples, lust clearly running rampant in his head and body by the way he was looking at you with such clear hunger in his eyes, his cock hard and stiff against your core. “Can I taste you?”

“Baby, you don’t have to ask, okay? You can have me, in any way–” you started breathily, feeling San’s cock beginning to pulse against you. “–Every way, Sannie. Please, take care of me.”

San suddenly clutched your hips, slowly grinding his clothed cock into your heat, while his mouth closed around one of your nipples to suck on it, his hooded eyes looking up into yours, his tongue darting out to lap at your tit.

“Feels so good, your mouth on me,” you breathed out, running your fingers through his hair, clutching it tight when he swapped your tit for the other, his jaw lowering so that he could fit more of your squishy globe into his mouth, sucking on it desperately. “Sannie…please…”

Knowing what you wanted, San pulled back to spit onto your tits, watching it drip down, before leaning back in to lick it up, his tongue cascading up and down your now slick skin, still guiding your hips against him, your legs already hooked around his slim waist. Your whiny moans were like music to his ears, taking a break from sucking and licking you to say, “You like it messy, don’t you, baby girl? Makes you so wet for me, doesn’t it?”

“Uh-huh, now come here,” you could barely get out, before you grabbed his face and slammed your lips against his, your mouths and tongues working in tandem, strands of spit dripping down your chins, San’s hands squeezing tightly into your hips, grinding against you so quick, so desperately, you were both about to reach your highs just from that.

“Sannie,” you sighed against his lips, caressing his jaw, his cock rubbing against your cunt in just the right way, your body pulsing with the need to be filled.

“Y/N,” he sighed back, pressing his forehead onto yours, the both of you breathing in the same air, the thick, throbbing length of his cock rubbing deliciously along your clothed slit until your lower halves began to jolt, your moans and gasps crescendoing in unison. “Cumming? Are you cumming for me, baby?”

“Y–esss, Sannie, m’ cumming for you,” you cried out, holding onto him as tightly as you could, your nails digging lightly into his back, feeling his muscles contracting. “Cum for me too, please, baby, let me see you.”

San let out a choked, whiny moan, panting heavily, losing his quick, focused thrusts, opting for sloppy, abrupt movements, barely about to get out the word, “B–abyyy…”

You both fell apart in each other’s arms, your eyes never breaking contact, your combined arousal soaking through your respective undergarments.

Once you both caught your breath, San reached down to rub your pussy with two thick fingers, able to see your slit through your shiny, see-through panties, his cum-covered cock already twitching back to life. “Fuck, baby, look at that…you’re completely soaked.”

“Just for you,” you nodded, spreading your thighs open further, pulling the hem of your panties up a bit to emphasize your puffy cunt, your clit pressing into the soft cloth material.

“Oh my god, baby, I need to taste you,” San suddenly whined, squeezing his fingers into the softness of your thighs, lowering himself down to take a deep inhale of your arousal, his head going completely fuzzy, unable to keep himself from drooling onto your cunt.

You slipped your fingers into his soft hair, bringing his face against your heat, sighing at the feeling of his nose bumping against your clit as he took another deep breath, shuddering when he began to tongue your cunt through your panties. “That’s it, Sannie, feels so good,” you moaned, your praise going straight to San’s cock, causing it to strain against his stained briefs.

“Mmmn,” San moaned against your pussy, licking one slow, long strip up your slit to your clit, filled with so much need for you that he couldn’t keep himself from tearing your panties off of you with one quick tug, making you gasp and release more slick, his mouth already on you to lap it right up, his other hand shoving his briefs down so that his cock could spring out against his abdomen, pre-cum smearing across his tan skin. “This pussy is all mine, baby…mine to eat, mine to fuck….mine to fill, isn’t it?”

“Yes, Sannie, all yours, it’s all yours,” you answered, clutching his hair, desperately grinding your cunt against his tongue when he held it out, looking deep into his eyes that never left yours for a second, suddenly gasping out when San spread your hole open, sending a wad of spit inside before his agile tongue slipped inside of you.

San grabbed the undersides of your thighs and lifted your lower half up so that he could tongue fuck you as deep as humanly possible, letting out a pleased moan each time his tongue entered your soaked, pulsing hole. He kept going until you saw stars, going ‘uh-huhhh, uh-huhhh’ as soon as you began to shudder, your arousal squirting out and soaking his flushed face.

“My pretty baby came so hard for me,” San sighed, licking your wetness up from your sensitive cunt and his lips, before he brought you in for another sloppy kiss, letting you taste yourself.

The longer you kissed, the more you wanted him inside you, needed him to fuck his love into you until you couldn’t remember your own name. You needed him so badly, you didnt even realize what you were doing until you had found yourself pushing San down onto the fur carpet below and straddling him, sitting on his lap in a way that showed the both of you exactly where his long, veiny cock would reach inside of you once he filled you up. “Need you, Sannie. Need you now.”

“You can have me, baby.” San’s cock twitched against your abdomen, his hands rubbing your thighs, eventually lifting you up and down onto his cock, groaning at the feeling of your pussy swallowing his length inch by inch. “Fuck, princess, have all of me.”

Instinctively, San began to buck his hips up into you, filling you up so well, you felt a bit dizzy, encouraging you to hold onto his chest, still taking his cock deep inside your cunt like you were made for him.

San must’ve agreed too because he couldn’t keep from groaning out, “Look at you, babygirl, look at the way you’re taking me, taking my cock so deep–” He pressed one hand to your abdomen, feeling the bulge his cock made each time he fucked into you, driving the both of you crazy. “Your pretty pussy was made for me, baby. Made just for me. You’re mine, babygirl.”

“Yours.” You quickly lowered yourself down to kiss him, his hands sliding up and down along your body to feel your warm skin underneath his touch, eventually settling his hands on your cheeks, wiping a few of your tears away when you began to cry from the overwhelming pleasure.

“Cum for me, Y/N…You can do it…Fall apart for me, baby, ” San encouraged in between heavy breaths, slowing the movements of his hips down, instead filling you up in a slow and meticulous manner, drawing your intense orgasm out of you. “Yes, baby, that’s it, that’s it…”

“Sannnn, oh my god, San.” The longer you fell apart, the tighter your pussy constricted around San’s cock, causing him to throw his head back, sweat dripping down along his straining neck, his veins growing more visible when he gripped your thighs tightly. “Fill me up, Sannie. Need your cum inside.”

“Cumminggg, princess, oh my god, baby girl,” San groaned heavily, lifting you up and down on his throbbing length, before fully sheathing himself inside you, coating your walls with white.

Panting, you both gazed at each other’s sweat-covered faces and bodies, knowing internally that it wasn’t enough. Not nearly.

“Again?”

“Again.”

San didn’t waste any time gently pulling you off of him and climbing on top of you instead, spreading you open and filling you back up, sighing at the sight of your mixed arousal forming a ring around the base of his cock each time he pounded himself into you. “You’re so full of my cum, baby…so full of my cock, aren’t you, pretty girl?”

“So full for you, Sannie, don’t stop,” you gasped, hardly able to breathe with the way he had you folded up, your legs over his shoulders, his cock slamming so deep inside you that you swore he was hitting your womb.

“Wasn’t gonna,” San exhaled, chuckling softly, his lips curling up to give you a smile, his eyes creasing with amusement. “Need to show you my love.”

“Show me, baby,” you sighed affectionately, smiling back at him, giggling at the sight of his eyes lighting up, before you pressed a kiss to his lips.

The wet, sloppy sound of your bodies joining together over and over filled up the otherwise quiet cabin, along with your harmonious moans, the remaining pieces of firewood still crackling away beside you. Time seemed to stop completely. It was just you and him, coming undone together for what seemed like a lifetime.

You both ended up back on the couch, your limbs and bodies entangled, snuggling together underneath the cozy blanket, talking with each other about anything and everything until your eyelids grew heavy, leading you to drift off, your fingers clasped together.

Before you could fully fall asleep, you nuzzled your cheek against San’s chest, gently inhaling his comforting scent. He smelled like aftershave, warm cedar wood, and spiced cinnamon. It reminded you of your time there at the cabin, the memories you spent together, both good and bad, swirling together to form a comfortingly bittersweet concoction, one that you would consume in every lifetime.

“San,” you whispered softly into the darkness, the fire beside the both of you now ashes and smoke.

“Yes, Y/N?” he whispered back, his arms closing around you protectively.

You sighed against his skin, your body and heart melting like the snow would begin to do as well, once the sun came up. “I love you so much, San…” You lifted your head up, hovering above him so that you could look down at him, your fingers clutching his jaw, your expression so soft San thought you might cry. “I want to show you how to share some of that love with yourself one day.”

San smiled up at you, his eyes full of so much adoration for you, it threatened to spill out of him, his fingers running through your hair. “You showed me, Y/N. Through it all, behind every word, every action, I still saw it there. That’s why I put myself first and confessed to you.” He smiled softly, tears pricking the corners of his eyes. “I’m…not nearly as put together as I seem. I just love you so much, it makes me want to be strong. For you. And…for me.”

You didn’t realize you were crying too until you saw your teardrops land on his face and slide down his cheek, wondering if your icy heart had finally melted, and that was why there were so many tears escaping from your blurry eyes. “Oh, San, my sweet San, I’ll be here to watch you grow, I promise,” you murmured, hugging onto him and laying back down to rest your head on his chest, gently rolling the ring around your finger.

San’s hand came up from underneath the blanket to rest on top of yours. He squeezed your hand and you squeezed right back. “Promise?”

“Promise,” you repeated softly, closing your eyes, your heart at peace. “As long as you promise to watch me too.”

San closed his eyes too, a few more happy tears dripping past his cheeks, squeezing you just a little tighter than before. San felt safe. Whole. “I’d love nothing more, Y/N.”

Apply for the taglist here ⇢ ♡

© kitten4sannie, 2023.

[bridgetotheskyyy]

Kisame; Size Kink

Kinktober Masterlist

a/n: Kisame my beloved!!!!!! 18+ only. Size kink, double penetration, vore-y implications (idk how it happened?? i'm sorry???)

You’d had better missions.

“Well,” Kisame said. “That was eventful.”

He threw away Samehada. Abandoned, it growled, having been denied the promise of a meal. 

“The next one will be better,” You said as much to negate your guilt as to quell his disappointment.

Kisame snorted. Despite the failure the day had been, his reprimands had lacked ire. “As long as I’m entertained, it could never be a complete bust.” He shot you a cheeky side-eye. “But we both know what the problem is.”

Your brows raised. “Enlighten me.”

Kisame’s grin grew more wicked. “I’d rather demonstrate, if you wouldn’t mind.”

“Be my guest.”

“Come, then. I’d like a swim.” 

You followed Kisame out by the nearby lake. He dove in unceremoniously, Akatsuki cloak abandoned on the riverside. He swam with expected ease.

And when he emerged, you admired him: Each step sent water dripping from perfect pectorals, biceps flexing as Kisame raised a hand to drag water from his hair. A navy happy trail ran into his trousers. Sunlight dazzled Kisame’s chromatic skin as he approached, his shadow eclipsing yours.

“See?” he said.

You blinked. “What?”

His wicked grin returned, aided in some way by your absentmindedness. “You’re distracted by me.”

“What?” A blush tinted your cheeks. “No, I’m not.”

Kisame’s laugh was just as devious. “You’re a bad liar.” 

“And you flatter yourself too much.”

Kisame’s cackle sounded behind you as you made to leave the riverside.

“So what is it about me you like?”

“I’m not discussing this.”

“You know, you and Itachi are just alike,” he said. “Far too serious for your own good.”

You were silent, acutely aware of Kisame trailing behind you, your footsteps engulfed by his.

“It’s because I’m so much bigger than you, isn’t it?”

“Oh, fuck off!”

But even then you knew you’d never win against someone who enjoyed this sort of verbal foreplay, who got such a sick thrill out of infuriating you, flustering you.

Kisame grabbed your arm and you whipped back to meet his playfully narrowed eyes. “Then, tell me I’m wrong.”

You ignored the comment. Ignored how you had thought of just that many times over, the immense size difference between you and your partner. Kisame towered over you. And if he so desired, he could easily swallow you up in an embrace and devour you. Metaphorically. Literally.

You had problems.

While in your reverie, Kisame had closed the gap between the two of you. Still smiling, he brushed a finger against your cheek when you stubbornly turned your head away.

“Hm?” He was baiting you and you knew it.

You flexed your cheek away to avoid his petting and he snickered, showing sharp incisors. “Like I said: Fuck you.”

“I appreciate an eager woman.”

In a swoop, Kisame had you over his shoulder and was striding toward drier parts of the lakeside. 

“Kisame!” You kicked your legs. “Kis ― I’ll kill you ―”

“I’d love to see you try.”

“I’m serious ― I’ll have your head for this! Kisame!” 

He lowered you on your back. He was over you now, arms pinning you on either side of your head. 

“Enough,” You said.

Kisame feigned disappointment. “Aw, don’t tell me you really don’t want to have fun.” He smirked. “But there are so many fun things I’d like to show you.”

Your cheeks ran red, but you did not push him away.

“Tell me, do you like this.” Kisame leaned down and licked a strip of his tongue against your neck. At your whimper, he chuckled, the sound low in his throat. “The idea of someone so much bigger and stronger lording over you?”

“Bigger’s one thing,” you grumbled. “But stronger ―? Mfm …”

Kisame buried himself in your neck again, thoroughly kissing, licking and sucking ― the unholy trinity ― as one of his hands dallied south, its laid above your head. “I could crush you, you know.” His teeth grazed your skin, threatening to bite. “I could lay myself on top of you and choke you out― your throat wouldn’t even fit in my hand.”

You whimpered again, teeth worrying your bottom lip. You were truly sick, to be turned on by all of this. You knew he never would ― he valued your partnership ― but no lies had been told.

Kisame’s rumbling laugh shuddered your earlobe. “I know what else might not fit …”

He’s such a dick. You arched into him, resistance waning as Kisame’s hand cupped the plump, swelling lips of your cunt through your panties. He’d long since undone your bottoms and worked his way into them, and now two fingers slowly swept against the wet patch sitting between your lips. 

“Fuck …” Your heel bit into one of his legs at the feel of his fingers infiltrating your panties. “Fuck, do it, then. Get me ready for your cock, ngh!”

Kisame cackled. “I don’t think I have enough fingers for that.”

“Oh, shut up! You’re not as funny as you think you ar ― aahha!”

Kisame plunged two fingers inside you. The sudden intrusion stopped your words in their tracks; your eyes widened as his massive digits coaxed your wetness to spill forth. You moaned, bucking your hips forward. 

“Looks like you’re helping me out quite a bit,” he said. “So wet already and I haven’t even ― mm …”

Kisame hadn’t lied; his fingers filled you out so completely; yours never felt like this, never reached so deep. Kisame tapped and dribbled his fingers against the eager spongey surface of your g-spot.

“A ― ahah, oh …!” 

You could be spotted out in the open. Would anyone even see you under the mountain of the man that was Kisame? His giant form would shroud you completely.

“Atta girl,” he said amid your moaning. “Might as well get both holes ready,”

One of Kisame’s fingers had snuck to your ass, tapping the puckered hole. Your eyes were still wide, lips parted as he lifted away from you and sat on his knees.

You throbbed around the fingers still playing in your pussy, enthralled by his admission. 

Your mind whirled as Kisame’s full attention lay on your nether regions, prepping and probing you on both fronts. How big would he be? You could almost feel your walls shuddering in anticipation at how they would be stretched. 

And what did he mean by both holes? How long would he keep you on this riverside, fucking you from every end?

Kisame sent his fingers farther, gouging a surprised moan out of you, your mouth forming a perfect o.

“Kisame, I ― oh …!”

“If you’re making all this noise, you’re clearly not ready for what comes next.” Kisame’s other hand worked on shoving down both his trousers and yours. 

You attempted to rise. Poor mistake: Kisame gripped your throat, forcing you backward into the grass. Your eyes widened, and for a second fear and arousal flooded through you like water through dam at his possibly doing what he imagined seconds ago. But Kisame only shadowed you, bearing his weight, a new, perceptible hardness lodged between your bodies. 

“Look at this,” he ordered, and he lessened his grip on your throat to allow your head to bend forward and see his cock ― cocks.

Bo ― both of them bigger than even you had anticipated.

“Think you can take them both, sweetheart?”

You gaped, mouth watering as Kisame positioned his cocks beside both entrances.

He thrusted inside of you. With a gasp, you clutched at his sides with stiffening legs. His fingers were nothing in comparison to this. The double penetration blindsighted you totally, your mind went blank as he filled you to capacity.

“You ― fucking ― ah ― disappear underneath me,” Kisame said. “Anyone walking by would think I was just ― nrgh ― spearing my cocks into the grass.”

Holy shit. It was true. Kisame’s silhouette, elongated by the eager sun, dwarfed you. You hung on to him as he deepened his thrusts, ragdolling you in the grass, the frantic motions sure to leave burns under your ass and thighs.

Everything, everywhere, overwhelming. That was Kisame. He tauntingly licked the shell of your ear, groaned into your side in a way that signified his nearing end. 

“Such good little holes you’ve got, taking me in so good like this,” Kisame huffed. “Stronger than they look, too.” 

You were not far behind, frantically speared into two holes at once. Your eyes rolled in the back of your head, the friction as excruciating as it was marvelous.

“What do you say, little girl?” he said. ‘How ‘bout I drown you in my come?”

Whether you managed to say yes aloud or not you’d never know, for Kisame plunged his fingers, soaked with your juices, into your mouth, your natural salt invading your tastebuds as he fucked into you. 

The sensory overload was too much; you sucked his fingers into your mouth, sufficiently fucked in all of your holes. And you barely registered the roar he gave as you clenched and came around both of his cocks. Your legs spasmed at Kisame’s side, biting your nails into his forearms. He continued to animalistically rut into you, stimulating your clit with the aimless friction of his hips.

“Ki ―” His name died on your lips as his fingers pressed into your tongue. His mouth brushed against your cheek, shark teeth dangerously close to your flushed skin, as he painted your inner walls white. 

Kisame withdrew everywhere; you were haunted by the sudden emptiness. You attempted to stifle a whimper and failed miserably. Would you ever be so perfectly full again? 

When you came to entirely, still in the midst of catching your breath, Kisame was also still hovering above you with a smile gentler than all the others.

“That was fun,” he said casually.

The light of day was dimmed by his shadow. And, poised beneath him, you were sure you looked vulnerable enough to eat.

[nanamineedstherapy]

Send Gojo? No. Send Nanami? Also No, But Less No.

Tsukumo Yuki x F!Reader x Ieiri Shoko - Pre-established but Nanami Kento & Gojo Satoru are also here.

Summary: In which Nanami gets emotionally & physically taxed, Gojo should never be left unsupervised, & Shoko, Yuki, & you hold an unholy amount of power over them both. or What if you, Shoko & Yuki, are in a poly relationship & somehow all your cycles sync? How much are we torturing Nanami???

A/N: This fic is a result of me staring at the ceiling at 3 AM, thinking, “What if You, Shoko & Yuki were in a polyship and had synced periods, but it’s a high-stakes psychological horror for Nanami?” Also, Gojo is a fool, Nanami deserves hazard pay, & Shoko & Yuki are the backbone of society. Anyway, enjoy this brainrot. WC: 1,165 Pure crack so no trigger warnings needed.

The night begins like all disasters do: quietly.

It starts innocently enough—Shoko's apartment at midnight, the air tense.

You’re horizontal on her couch, wrapped in a blanket like a burrito, clutching a hot water bottle to your stomach like it might perform a miracle. Yuki’s raiding the kitchen, muttering curses at an empty bag of chips, while Shoko nurses a lukewarm beer and an ice pack balanced on her head.

You’ve achieved the mythical synchronicity of an unholy trinity of cramps and PMS-fueled rage, and it’s terrifying.

It’s that kind of night.

“I swear I bought pads last week,” Yuki mutters, emerging from the kitchen with a singular, stale granola bar. “How the hell are we out of everything?”

Shoko shrugs. “You’ve been stress-eating chips like it’s an Olympic sport.”

Before Yuki can throw the granola bar at her, your phone buzzes.

“It’s Nanami,” you say, reading the text. Don’t call me tonight. I am already in bed.

“Oh, hell no.” Yuki grabs your phone and speed-dials him.

Nanami picks up on the third ring, voice groggy. “No.”

“Yes,” Yuki replies. “We’re dying. We’re out of pads, tampons, snacks, and basically everything else. If you don’t come, I will personally end you.”

A pause. Then, with the resignation of a man who knows he’s lost, he says, “Fine. Text me a list.”

Gojo, lying upside down on the carpet with his legs propped up on the coffee table, perks up immediately. “I can go!”

“No!” all three of you chorus.

1:00 AM

Nanami shows up, a grocery bag in hand, looking like the last shred of his will to live is dangling by a thread. He tosses it onto the counter and starts to leave when Yuki, halfway through a chocolate bar, asks, “Where’s the ice cream?”

Nanami freezes. Slowly, he turns around. “The what?”

“I specifically texted you about the caramel swirl.” Shoko says with narrowed eyes, beer bottle in hand, ready to weaponize it.

“Yeah,” you pipe up from under your blanket fort. “And I wanted mochi.”

Nanami takes a slow, deep breath. Then stares at all three of you, eyes hollow. “I’m going home; send Gojo.”

“Oh, I’d love to!” Gojo says brightly, halfway out the door before Shoko grabs him by the back of his collar.

“You can’t,” Yuki snaps. “Gojo will get it wrong.”

“Hey!” Gojo protests. “That’s not fair. I’ve gotten better!”

“No, you’re going to mess this up,” she snaps. “Remember what happened last time?”

Gojo pouts. “I didn’t know there were different kinds of tampons! I thought wings were for decoration!”

“You also brought back clove-scented tampons and one fun-size bag of Skittles. My vagina has PTSD because of you.” You add helpfully from under your blanket pyramid.

“Don’t remind me, he also almost got throttled in the parking lot,” Shoko pointed out.

“Yeah, by you,” Gojo retorts.

“Yeah, and I stand by that decision,” Shoko says.

“Good,” Yuki deadpans. “I will finish the job.”

Nanami is smart, so he sighes, grabs his keys and leaves. A few minutes later, he returns, arms loaded with supplies and a few extra snacks.

And because he is smart—he knows better than to face the wrath of three PMSing women. He drops the bag on your doorstep, rings the bell, and sprints away like he’s just defused a bomb, leaving you all to wonder if he’ll ever come back for a rematch!

2:00 AM

Against everyone’s better judgment, Gojo insists on “helping.”

“I read somewhere that massages help!” he chirps, already cracking his knuckles.

“No,” Yuki interrupts.

“Hard no,” Shoko echoes.

You sigh. “Fine. Just don’t be weird about it.”

Gojo beams, settling behind you. “You just need to relax,” he says, cracking his knuckles. “I saw this thing on TikTok—”

You eye him suspiciously.

Yuki glares at him, now a little too close to your couch. “If you try anything funny with my wife, I will kill you.”

“And I will revive you just so I can kill you again.” Shoko adds popping a nicotine gum in her mouth and chewing aggressively.

He waves a dismissive hand. “Pfft, no trust. Just relax!”

Gojo, it turns out, has the subtlety of a jackhammer. Five seconds in, you let out a yelp as his bony hands jab into your back like he’s searching for treasure.

“That’s her kidney!” Yuki shouts, grabbing him by the collar.

“It’s all connected!” Gojo whines, flailing as Yuki drags him away.

“Connected to your impending death, maybe,” she growls.

3:00 AM

Nanami gets called again.

This time, it’s because Gojo—unsupervised—tried to boil water for tea and somehow set the kettle on fire.

“How,” Nanami begins when he arrives, staring at the blackened kettle in the sink, “did this happen?”

“I was just trying to help!” Gojo protests, dodging a cushion thrown by Shoko.

“Tell him the real reason or I’m shaving your head!” You yell, spraying pain relief medication on your back.

Gojo holds his hair and mutters lowly. “I got distracted. Someone called me a ‘red flag with 20/20 vision,’ on Tiktok, and honestly, they’re not wrong.”

Nanami pinches the bridge of his nose. “This is why I don’t let you cook.”

“That, and I’m amazing at takeout,” Gojo quips, tossing Nanami finger guns.

Shoko leans against the counter, watching the exchange with mild amusement. “Are you two done flirting, or are we actually eating tonight?”

Nanami froze, a faint blush creeping up his neck. “We’re not—”

“Oh, please,” Yuki interrupts. “We’ve all seen the way you look at each other. Just kiss already.”

Gojo just shamelessly grins. “He’s shy.”

Nanami turns around to hide his burning ears and pulls up his hoodie sleeves and starts 3 A.M. dinner. He wonders, how did none of you in a polycule of three know how to cook? Or did you all lied to him and hoped for the best? Then he looks at Gojo—still somehow grinning—and decides he deserves hazard pay for this.

5:00 A.M.

The couch is now a war zone of blankets, empty bowls, and collective exhaustion.

Gojo has decided to make his final bid for redemption. “I’ll clean up,” he offers, sweeping his lanky arms toward the mess.

“Don’t touch anything,” Nanami says immediately.

“Wow, no trust,” Gojo complains, pouting.

“You set water on fire,” Shoko deadpans.

“You bruised my kidney,” you add.

“And you can’t even bring the right pad,” Yuki finishes.

Gojo throws up his hands in defeat. “You’re all mean.”

Nanami sighs, sinking into the armchair with the air of a man who knows this is his life now.

6:00 A.M.

By morning, Gojo is banned from the kitchen, Nanami is seriously contemplating resignation, and you’re all sprawled across the couch, eating ice cream directly out of the tub.

“This was a nightmare,” Yuki mutters, glaring at Gojo, who’s still trying to apologize.

Shoko just sips her beer. “Same time next month?”

Nanami groans.

Gojo beams.

A/N: Nanami survived, but at what cost? Gojo did NOT, in fact, redeem himself. Shoko & Yuki remain undefeated. Will they make it to next month without setting another household appliance on fire? Stay tuned.

Vote wisely. Or don’t. Chaos reigns.

All Works Masterlist

[thegamingcatmom]

Dating Tips with Bella Swan

Listen-

The two menaces asking Bella for dating advice (much) later in The Sisters cause, yknow, she's a human.

And MC is a human.

Do I need to say more?

...

Tanya: *scoots incredibly closer to Bella*

Bella: *thinks she's about to either get eaten or hit on but doesn't wanna say anything in case she truly does get eaten for her audacity*

Tanya: "So..."

Bella: *starts sweating*

Tanya: "You are a mortal...are you not?"

Bella, scared (and curious) where this is going: 👀

Tanya, unhinged unbothered: 👁️👁️ + 🔴

Bella, attempting to crack a joke (dear god): "Uh...I think so? Last I checked? I mean, heart's still going strong and all, hah..."

Tanya: "..."

Bella: *gulps*

Tanya: *scoots even closer*

Bella: *gay panic*

Also Bella: *...Wait what-*

Tanya: "Help me out then, mortal. What kind of establishment would you recommend if one was attempting to...court you?"

Bella: *gay panic intensifies*

Bella: "Uhhh, I...I mean-"

Tanya: 👁️👁️ + 🔴

Bella: "...What?"

Tanya: *dramatic sigh*

Bella: *sweating intensifies*

Tanya, who can´t believe she has to spell it out: "What is your diet?"

Bella: "..."

Tanya: "..."

Bella: "...My...my diet?"

...

Tanya, hissing: "Preboha-!"

Bella, well and truly fearing for her life at this point: 💀💧

Tanya: *takes a deep breath to stop herself from doing something that will land her in the doghouse (...again) because her love has grown quite fond if this mortal indeed...unfortunately*

Tanya, trying to remain patient (and failing miserably cause girl´s got a serious case of blue balls): "I realize your kind struggles with grasping concepts that go beyond the basic needs of ingestion, defecation and rest, but I truly fail to see which part of my question has been too difficult for your simple mind to-"

Kate: *plonks herself down on Bella´s other side, (thankfully) cutting Tanya off and nearly giving Bella a heart attack*

Kate: "Insulting the human? Yeah, I´m sure that totally contributes to getting you laid. Good job, sis."

Tanya: *eye starts twitching*

Bella: *gay panic reaches its maximum*

Kate, without missing a beat: "Get that stick out your ass, will ya? That´s not how you deal with them. Look at her, she´s terrified!"

Tanya: *actually takes a moment to have a proper look at-*

Bella: 💀💧

Tanya: "..."

Kate, snickering: "Always such a charmer."

Tanya, seething: "Fine. You try it, then. Show me how to deal with them, oh great master of romance."

Kate, gloating: "About time someone recognizes my true talent."

Tanya: 😑

Kate: 😁

Bella: 💀💧

Kate: "Alright, human. Eyes on-hello? *sounds of finger snapping* Hey, eyes on-yes, good. That´s a good human. Alright, listen..."

Kate: *pauses for dramatic effect*

Bella: 👀💧

Tanya: 👀

Kate: "...What does one have to do to make those panties drop?"

Bella: *malfunctions*

Tanya, closing her eyes in utter despair: "Pane zmiluj sa..."

Irina, (thankfully) walking up to them: "Hey. Mortal. The Pixie asked for you."

Bella: *girl´s up and on her way so damn fast-*

Also Bella, under her breath: "Thank you, Alice..."

The Unholy Trinity: *watches her go*

Irina: *turns to face her sisters*

...

Tanya & Kate: "...What?"

Irina: "Oh, nothing. I´m merely wondering - how much lower can you two sink?"

Tanya & Kate: 👁️👄👁️

...

Irina: *proceeds to walk away*

Irina, under her breath: "Neuveriteľné..."

Tanya & Kate, at each other: 👀

MC: *walks up to them*

Tanya & Kate, as if a switch has been flipped: 👀...😁

MC: *falters in her step*

Tanya & Kate: 😁

MC: "...Uh, have you guys...done something?"

Tanya & Kate, at each other: 👀

Tanya, folding her hands like the sophisticated Dork she is: "...Whatever are you referring to, love?"

MC, choosing to ignore the pet name (as per usual): "Well, Bella just passed me. I tried talking to her, but it was like she didn´t even realize I was there. She looked..."

Tanya & Kate: 👁️👁️

MC: "...Haunted. Like she´s seen a ghost or something."

Tanya & Kate, at each other: 👀

Kate, putting a hand on her chest in a (fake) display of indignation: "And you think we´ve done something?"

MC, totally unimpressed (cause "yes"): "...Have you?"

Tanya & Kate, at each other: 👀

MC: "..."

Tanya & Kate: "...No."

MC: "..."

Tanya & Kate: 😇

MC: 😑

.

.

.

GUYS OKAY-

I love their dynamic so much. 🥺❤️

But there´s your confirmation: MC is...different.

...Meaning: Tanya cba about pleasantries when it comes to any mortal that isn´t her mortal. Poor Bella. 😭

Honestly can´t wait till we get to the part where MC´s gonna interact with the Cullens. (Which will be a while yet, fml. 💀)

.

Btw: The plan was to work on Chapter 4, but I ended up making this instead cause my brain´s faster than my fingers. 🙃

In my head, we´ve already made it much further down the rabbit hole. 🐇🕳️

[kaleb-is-definitely-sane]

Okay but am I the only one with a special love for declarations of love that border on religious/sacrilegious?

I mean i just love that “my future husband becoming to me my whole world; and more then the world: almost my hope for heaven. he stood between me and every thought of religion… i could not, in those days, see god for his creature: of whom i had made an idol” "heaven did not seem to be my home and I broke my heart with weeping to come back to earth" "heaven and hell were words to me" "do not swear at all. or, if thou wilt, swear by thy gracious self, which is the god of my idolatry, and I'll believe thee" "he knows himself to be equal to the gods" "that man seems to me to be equal to the gods who is sitting opposite you" "if love is a religion, i'll worship you morning and evening" "i love you so much my heart names you after gods" "she's a goddess. my muse, my lover - i worship her devotedly and sacrifices daily and she loves me back with a savage barbarism only the greek goddesses could" "she's a myth, she's a legend. one look at her is sure to lock you out of heaven" "i want to devour you. you want to devour me. so let's consume each other. it's communion - though it sure doesn't look like church" "in the crooks of your body i find my religion" "if the heavens ever did speak, she's the last true mouthpiece" "we were like gods at the dawning of the world, & our joy was so bright we could see nothing else but the other" "my love is not idolatrous, okay? that’s bullshit. it’s not. i’m just saying it’s theological perfection, that’s all. like the Holy Trinity, but a hundred times better" "take me to church: i'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies. i'll tell you my sins, and you can sharpen your knife. offer me that deathless death. oh good God, let me give you my life" "you built me palaces out of paragraphs. you built cathedrals" "women were to me a cathedral. beautiful and religious even. their ability to make worshipers… worth writing a poem for" "i would have come out of eden to open the door for you if i had known you were there" "i slithered out from eden just to outside your door" "my church offers no absolutes; she tells me, 'worship in the bedroom.' the only heaven I'll be sent to is when I'm alone with you" "and if the devil were to see you he would kiss your eyes and repent" "love, for you, is larger than the usual romantic love. it's like religion. it's terrifying" "i wanted to know what I looked like to you. a sin committed and a prayer answered, you said" "she'll give you all your desires but her demands are sacrificial" "there is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin" "he thought her body gave him his first name. he thought her thighs could tell him who he was. he thought lust and love had the same hands" "it's more then love she feels for him... it's more like worship" "to fall in love is to create a religion that has a fallible god" "unholy. killer of men. makes you wonder how much longer till you give in" "if my love is blasphemous, then may i burn i hell" "her beauty is so great that heaven is flawed for the lack of her" "if I'm a pagan of the good times, my lover's the sunlight. to keep the goddess on my side, she demands a sacrifice" "i would put off meeting god in paradise, to meet you one last time" "she is heaven's light" "she is hellfire" "you remember church as a boy. the fear and the passion. that's what she makes me feel" "when he leaves the room, he bows and acts precisely as if he were before a shrine" "we are one person in two bodies" "i am not whole without you" "i need my other half. you are me, and i am you" "o that it were not in religion sin to make our love a god, and worship it" "unable are the loved to die for love is immortality, nay it is deity - unable they that love to die for love reforms vitality into divinity" kind of love

[leezlelatch]

With the Morning Dew

18+ MDNI. Primo x GN! Reader. Fluff, teasing, soft penis play, old men with old bodies.

You wake slowly. The sunlight of the morning curtains you with warmth, and you stretch your body in that pleasant way that relaxes your muscles nearly back into sleep. But the smell of a freshly brewed cup of tea lures you from the sheets, and you open your eyes as the sweet humming of your Papa gradually blesses your ears, growing closer until the cracked bedroom door opens and reveals your lover.

“Ah! Buongiorno, my petal!” Primo rasps, smiling widely at the sight of his sleep mussed love. He holds a cup of tea in his aged hands, settled carefully on the saucer with the bluebell design. “How were your dreams?”

“Full of you,” you answer, smiling sweetly as you take the warm cup from his hands. Primo’s eyes sparkle, and he leans down to drop a kiss to your forehead.

“You seek to tempt me so early?” He gently teases, fingers sliding down your cheek to tap your chin. “Drink your tea.”

You smile, satisfied with yourself, and take a sip, citrus bursting across your tongue. Primo moves around the bed and settles in beside you, sliding across the sheets with a soft grunt. He breathes out a sigh and adjusts his robe, and you lean into the warmth of his body. Primo’s arm wraps around your waist, a large hand splayed across your belly.

“I intended to wake with you, petal, but these old joints protested rather painfully,” he sighs, eyes watching you tenderly as you enjoy your tea. “They argue when I lay down, and they kick up such a fight when I stand up!”

“We could stay in bed today,” you suggest, setting your cup aside on the bedside table. You shift to rest against his side, pressing your face into his robe to calmly breathe in his scent. “I could get that lovely herbal cream, and show your joints who this body really belongs to.”

Primo laughs, carefree and happy, and he squeezes you to him, placing a kiss in your hair. “Amore mio, my silly one. I shan’t argue with that, although I must request a…a…,” he snaps his fingers in thought. “Ah, sì, rain check.”

“Something going on today?”

“I agreed to speak with a few initiates on the significance of the unholy trinity - the Almighty, the Antichrist, and the Ghost.”

“Oh, Professor Primo,” you giggle, your cheeks pink with mirth. He shoots you a look and pinches your nose, giving it a little wiggle.

“I see you forget you are in the presence of the Unholy Father Papa Emeritus I,” he growls.

“On the contrary,” you press your lips to the hollow of his neck. “You remind me quite often.”

His growl settles into a low purr, and Primo’s grip on you tightens. He tilts your head up with a finger and claims your lips. Well-practiced and thorough, the man plunders your mouth with lips and tongue, effectively silencing you under the power and sensual grace of the first Papa.

You part for a breath, and manage to speak even as he draws you back for more. “Maybe if we don’t have time for a massage, I could help you relax in another way,” you whisper, fingers pulling at his robe.

Primo’s hand finds your hair, tangling his fingers in the strands as he settles further into the pillows and watches you with darkened eyes as you untie his robe and part it. He’s completely nude underneath, a reflection of many years of life and good Italian food.

His cock lies soft against his thigh, and you press little kisses from his belly downward, his hand gentle, yet guiding on the top of your head. You nuzzle against his softness, sliding your tongue along the length of him. His cock twitches with interest, perhaps swells a little, but ultimately remains as is, and you find your Primo to be so incredibly perfect. Just the way he is.

Soft play has become one of your favorite things, something you’ve learned in your time with your Papa. And the way he sighs, his jaw falling slack, as your fingers explore him is enough to make you pant in need, your thighs rubbing together, desperate for some kind of friction.

Primo’s fingers tighten in your hair and he pins you with a look of promise. “Amore, you will be hoarse from the cry of my name before I leave this room.”

Your cheeks flush and you moan around him, his hips jumping, and he smiles at you predatorily. “Good Petal,” he murmurs.

Your fingers massage his balls, ensuring that every inch of him is attended to, and when he climaxes, it isn’t messy, isn’t intense. It’s a breath of relief, a relaxation of his muscles, and the gentle trembling of his thighs. Primo looks nearly in a daze when you come back up his body to kiss his lips, and he smiles so dreamily at you.

“How did I find you?” He whispers, rubbing his nose lovingly against yours. “What did I do? My precious. Amore mio.”

You cradle his face in your hands and smile. “You were just…Primo, and that makes all the difference.”

[toopimpabutterfly]

making my INTRO!!!!! or this is my intro. ykykyk. (meet my shitty way of designing intros and stuff too,)

HIHI call me Jésus I'm 16 Apache Mexican American. With some other stuff cause yeah. just mentioning that cause. I will say a lot of stuff yk. I'm autistic and scitzohenic but PLEASEEEE I NEED FRIENDS and PEOPLE TO talk to about my current interests!!!

MOVIES

Oh to go. on ABOUT THIS.. here's my letterboxd I fucking love movies.

DOGMA, MOONLIGHT, CLERKS, NATURAL BORN KILLERS, GOOD WILL HUNTING, FIGHT CLUB, NAKED LUNCH, FEAR AND LOATHING IN LAS VEGAS, CONSTANTINE, HELLBBOY, GUMMO, MAD MAX + FURIOSA, GODZILLA, I SAW THE TV GLOW, AVATAR, JACKASS, MID 90S, STRAIGHT OUTTA COMPTON, I LOVE YOU PHILIP MORRIS, WEEKEND AT BERNIE'S, FRIDAY, THE MATRIX, JAY AND SILENT BOB STRIKE BACK, THIRTEEN, REQUIEM FOR A DREAM, TRAINSPOTTING, THE PEOPLE VS LARRY FLYNT, DUCK TILL DAWN, THE WATERMELON WOMAN, DONT BE A MENACE TO SOUTH CENTRAL, BOYZ IN THE HOOD, 12 MONKEYS, X-MEN, MENACE II SOCIETY, WATCHMEN,MALL RATS, KIDS and a lot more.. coughs.

TV SHOWS

PREACHER, THE BOYS, THE MAXX, ÆON FLUX, THE BOONDOCKS, LOITER SQUAD, CLERKS ANIMATED, X-Men 92/97 AQUA TEEN HUNGER FORCE, BOJACK HORSEMAN, BEVIS AND BUTTHEAD, JACKASS THE SERIES, SMILING FRIENDS, THE ERIC ANDRE SHOW, FUTURAMA, KING OF THE HILL, MORAL OREL, BLACK DYNAMITE, HOME MOVIES, SPACE GHOST COAST TO COAST, THE OBLONGS, and more stuff again. Assume that a lot tbh.

MUSIC

THE BUTTHOLE SURFERS, KENDRICK LAMAR, ICE CUBE, N.W.A, BLACK FLAG, DEAD KENNEDY'S, LEONARD COHEN, NINE INCH NAILS, OUTKAST, TYLER, THE CREATOR, NAS, DR DRE, BONE THUGZ, QUASIMOTO, EAZY-E, KMFDM, ALEX G, WEEN, CHEMLAB, JANE'S ADDICTION, GERMS, ANGRY SAMOANS, NEW ORDER, JOY DIVISION, COWBOY JUNKIES, JESUS LOVES JUNKIES, PIXIES, DINOSAUR JR, HOOTIE AND THE BLOWFISH, THE VELVET UNDERGROUND, THE DEAD MILKMEN, NECROS, CIRCLE JERKS, HOLE, and a lot more. I love hardcore punk, crust, hip-hop, rap, and basically everything tbh.

MISC + FIXATIONS

I love comics like the Punisher, The Maxx, Preacher, Bratpack, the clerk's comic, X-MEN!!!!!, Watchmen, Hellboy, little things. I like reading, TOO . I LOVE HUNTER S THOMPSON!!! Mostly Fear and Loathing in las Vegas, Hell's Angels, and the Campaign Trail 72, and other books like Revolt of the Cockroach People, Get in The Van. Little books like that sorta. GAMES TOO I like Faith the unholy Trinity, DOOM, POSTAL, GTA, DUSK, and a few others!

I collect DVDS, games, VHS tapes, books, CDs, records, laser discs, literally any piece of physical media . All of it. I like conspiracy theories, civil rights activists, some art history, Malcolm X. I'm a punk I go to local shows and stuff and might sometimes post that when I can. I have a HUGEEE fixation rn on Dogma(1999), X-MEN!!!! and Kendrick Lamar. I do powerlifting as a hobby and like to go on walks around my town and say nonsense please interact. I will post whatever I want here really tbh.. BYE.

TAGS!!!

#toopimpabutterfly <- tag for everything I post

#TPAB lyric posts <- me lyric postin, nuff said.

#TPAB rants <- mostly vent or ranting about my horrible life. how fun

I got socials too, discords are irlwillhunting MAIN and h0peeradicated as alt. My Instagram is topimpthebutterfly . Spotify is here .

[jazzically]

the magnus protocol episodes 4 through 7 — my live reactions not clickbait

magp 4

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD IS THIS THE STATEMENT AND/OR ORIGIN OF ALFRED GRIFTER

omg i love how the literal only reason for hearing statements from the 1800s is gwen being behind on her work

ALSO I FRICKING LOVE THE MAGNUS PROTOCOL THEME

Oh my lord you know it's a good sidequel when you can already feel the itch to relisten to everything you just listened to

magp 5

Ok i do not know whether we say "a blast from the past" in America but i have heard that phrase like five times now from Brits all on the RQ magnus feed so im wondering if that's just an alexander j newall thing or !!! what (love it tho. i love it)

faith the unholy trinity referenced???? faith the unholy trinity!!!!!!?

aint no way he won the contest by coincidence LMAO

OOOH THIS IS SUCH A COOL FORMAT!!! ahh ... just how many ideas do they have for digital first-person storytelling mediums?? cuz with every new one i am fascinated

i wonder if jonny just flipped between soft speaker and robot while recording or if "[UNINTELLIGIBLE]" is a digital insert. if it's the latter i am VERY impressed although it's characteristic of jonny at this point lol

OOOooooOOoOoO personal relation is always extra spookyyy

i am also extremely impressed by the similarity in writing style. i can see it (in a good way) now that i'm looking harder, but i would never have guessed jonny didn't write all the episodes

also i just love how alex and jonny swap announcer roles sometimes (jonny as credits, alex as title/episode) for tmp

NOTE TO SELF: check out the cellar letters!!!!! omfg!!! it sounds fire!!!!

magp 6

aw that's such a sweet dedication message

URGH HAVE I MENTIONED I LOVE THE TMAGP THEME

i always wondered what the muffled falling-down-the-stairs noise at the end of the original theme was. it always put me in mind of the aesthetic of the beginning of portal 2 (and, later, the Buried coffin) idk why

I LOOOVE ALL OF THESEEEE none of them have been hard to get through at all?? which is rare for me bc i fail to pay attention to things for long unless they come in more than two forms of stimulus simultaneously (video + music, audio + fidget toy, video + candle)

AWIEE SAM AND CELIA 😭😭😭

Yes alice you do that matchmaking you are SUCH a girlboss

magp 7

OMFG CELIA DEFINITELY KNOWS SOMETHING

lmao jonny says ree instead of err ee now (for "re:"/regarding)

[ThEory time babes woooOoO]

heyyyy is this one of those other worlds that the fears got banished to. actually what happened to the dread powers? am not exactly clear on that (i hope it's on purpose). maybe the place where the dread powers exist alongside "our world" in tma is also adjacent to other worlds in exactly the same way?? like how a hexagon can be adjacent to six other hexagons??? that'd be sick and it would also explain why there wasnt an overwhelming amount of supernatural incidents in "our world" such that everyone was familiar with the dread powers and normalized safety procedures and such ... interesting au idea ... also the idea jonny proposed about a post-apocalypse world in the s5 qna... that one is cool too............ writers get on that (/j/j/j)

is tmp a separate world ??? they only said it was in the same universe as tma iirc

[wild speculation over]

RAAAAAA i LOVE the robotic voices' VAs' abilities to slowly transition into humanlike speech

cLaYtOn!!!!!? do i know that name or am i going crazy

perhaps i am yet again thinking of the worker of clay (see previous post)

LOOOLL "better than norris, whiny little toad"

OHMYGFUCKING GOD WAIT I RESCIND MY EARLIER STATEMENT!!!!!! THAT'S CANONICALLY JONATHAN SIMS' FRICKING VOICE!!!!!!!!!!!!

hehehe ooooh you're evil writermen. how dare you use our constant uncertainty as to which characters you're referring to induced by your earlier repetition when naming characters (really there should be a limit as to how many michaels can be in one story) so that we are still unsure, even with prior knowledge, whether sam's mysterious "john" is actually the archivist or just some other john. good lord (im obsessed)

HOLY CRAP COLIN KNOOOWSSSSSSSS THINGSSS i just adore his role as the town crazy old man

omg alex's writing is incredible

[grayintogreen]

WIP WEDNESDAY

I really need to get better at doing this again. WHOOPS.

Anyway, here's a scene from Chapter Two of EaUS! In which we officially meet Clea.

The glass doors opened and out came the new Trinity of the Entertainment District- the Bimbo, the Twink, and the Unholy Cunt, herself- dressed in outfits that complemented one another in cyan and fuchsia and waving to the drooling masses, desperate for something new and exciting and completely oblivious to what was clearly a declaration of war to at least two people present. Velvette snapped her phone in half in her fist. “Our colors?” She spat, livid. “They might as well skin us and wear that to their next function. These cheeky twats.” It took everything Vox had to dull his own rage to a furious ember, buried deep within his internal hardwire to smolder uselessly as an abandoned file. He could control it if he had to and he had to right now, thanks to the cameras that would catch any slight shift in his demeanor and make it a new spectacle to be jeered at and add more fuel to the pyre that Clea clearly intended to burn him on. He wasn’t going to let her make him angry. He was going to be cool. Fucking Fonzie over here. No one was cooler than him. The urge to step aside and vanish into the wiring and avoid temptation to start swinging entirely helped distract him. It would be a flawless plan, a little zip through those well-loved electrical signals that didn’t know how to lock doors against him and would welcome him back like a brother. He could see how much things had changed in a year, find out if the penthouse still smelled like Val’s cigarettes, that heady reek halfway between rot and sex. He could properly mourn the loss of the world he carved for himself and the man who helped him build it. He could gesture to every difference and scream and cry and shake himself awake from the dream that he was ever going to get it all back. Or he could put on his big boy pants and deal with what had been made of it all in his absence. At that rational thought pinging like a notification in the background of his brain, Vox came back to his senses, the urge dismissed. There was no satisfaction in clinging to the past and all the things he no longer had, not when there were better things to dig his claws into. Maybe this time he could keep them… Clea and her two little hangers-on- smaller than her by a significant margin and thus practically eclipsed by her- began their stroll towards Lucifer and Lilith as the most important people in the space. Vox snapped to attention, feet pressed together, back straight, and eyes on the prize. Living well was the best revenge and lost empire or not, he certainly wasn’t slumming. “Clea,” he cooed, stepping in front of the king and queen by sidestepping Velvette, the portrait of a man fully respecting his opposition on the outside because there was an ad blocker where his emotional regulation used to be. “It’s so nice to see you again. How’ve you been?” “Oh you know, it's been here and there.” The hare held out a hand for him to shake. He took it, his grip like iron. “Getting laughed off my own stage encouraged me to expand my horizons.” Vox laughed and it couldn’t hide the acid in his words. “It was my stage. I paid for it.” “With all the money I brought in.” “You were only about five percent of our overall numbers.” Now it was her turn to laugh. With every word, their grips tightened, neither wanting to be the first to let go even if it meant a few broken fingers. “Oh Vox, you never did know how to fucking count, did you?”

[absoluteocellibehavior]

Tag Game for “People I’d Like to Get to Know Better”! Tagged by the lovely, beautiful @bizarreohmart <3

Last song: “Blonde Dynamite” by Caravan Palace. Man, I love me some Electroswing and their new album Gangbusters Melody Club is *chef’s kiss*.

Favorite color: Purple. No question. It’s a good color!! Can you blame me??

Last book: Gosh it’s been so long since I’ve pleasure read but I believe it was “Thirteen Storyes” by Jonathan Sims! I’m also going to make a plug for my absolute favorite book series “The Shadowhunter Chronicles”. I have all the books and OUGH!! Those are good!

Last Movie: “The Boondock Saints”! GOSH, that was good!! Highly recommend!

Last TV Show: Me and the fam are working through season two of Arcane at the moment! I am sobbing! I am not ok! We’re sooooo chillin- *sobs*

Sweet/Savory/Spicy: SPICY!! I think it’s usually sweet for me but we had Cajun for Thanksgiving and I’m in the mood :]

Relationship Status: Taken >:D

Last Thing I Searched: Ah, let’s see… “Jewish prayer times”! Can you tell that Holy Ghosts religion sharing has been on my mind? HA!

Current Obsession: Speaking of which, Malevolent!! Specifically this Malevolent and TMA AU that lives in the realm of me and my friend’s discord chat. That and now a Malevolent/Critical Role crossover. So, Malevolent in general! I’ve pretty much been living in that Discord server and was even featured on the most recent Malevolent Autopsy! Yay!

Looking Forward To: End of the semester! Christmas villages! Seeing long distance friends! Sharing a Blood and Sand with my friend on her 21st! Malevolent gift exchange!

Favorite Drink: DR PEPPER CREAM SODA IS A GUILTY PLEASURE!! OH IT’S GOOD. But a nice Old Fashioned for special occasions <3

Song Playing on Loop in Your Head 24/7: “Experience” by Ludovico Einaudi. That song has inspired countless stories for many years now. It’s beautiful…

Current Favorite Character: Just one?! I’ll give you two. The partners: Charlie Dowd and Roland Cummings! I’m still listening to Malevolent and I’m working my way through Harlan’s first Call of Cthulhu campaign. I’m in denial about both of them. They’re in the Waylay sharing a Moscow Mule and Old Fashioned and you cannot convince me otherwise (this is a fanfic I’m planning on writing too).

Fun Activity You’d Really Like to Get Into: Book binding!! I think it’d be so neat. I’ve got this hand bound journal that I sketch in and it’s one of my favorite things. I’d love to learn leather work and how to make your own paper! This just combines those two in a perfect way.

Last Video Game: Played? Stardew Valley! I will marry Harvey or Sam come hell or high water. Now, watched about eight hours of lore videos over? Faith: The Unholy Trinity. Horrifying game. Delicious lore. SO good. Father Garcia, my beloved <3.

Last Comic/Graphic Novel: Truthfully, it was the garbage, totally inaccurate comic called “Samson: Judge of Israel” for my Old Testament class but I don’t wanna talk about that unless you want me to rant about modern Christians reading Jesus into the Old Testament where He shouldn’t be read into (*rasa frasas in Catholic Religion Major*). I will say that the art was stunning in it though. The last one I read out of choice was Blue Exorcist! I don’t think I’m caught up with it anymore but that is my favorite manga of all time! Father Shiro Fujimoto, my beloved <3

(Did I just “my beloved” two priest characters back to back? That wasn’t purposeful! You know, while we’re at it, Father Oscar Malevolent and Father Edwin Burroughs TMA, my beloved <3)

As for tagging!! My dearests @rightpastnowhere , @vee-lociraptor , and @rosesofenvy !! I’d love to hear from you! No pressure at all though <3

[kissorkill16]

It's Not Him: A Hello Neighbor Fanfic

By JJ

Summary: A scene from my Golden Stones AU from Ivan's POV.

(P.S., this.)

👇

I hid behind a wall near Mr. Murtaugh's classroom, my cell phone in hand, the others were on the other lines.

Last week, we planned to spy on all of the suspects listed in Peterson's black book. I took Mr. Murtaugh, Trinity took Abanate, Delroy took Kinander, and Enzo and Maritza took Kornwell. I wore all black for this occasion, even though Maritza had some stuff to say.

"We're planning a stakeout, not a heist, dork."

I just rolled my eyes at her.

"What is this thing you glued to our phones, Ivan?", Trinity asked. I looked at her on my screen.

"Security. That Crowface thing might be monitoring the cell signals.", I replied.

"What's Principal Abanate doing now, Trinity?", asked Enzo.

Trinity looked away from her camera, then looked back, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "Checking emails...?", she said.

"This is super exciting.", Maritza sarcastically said.

I rolled my eyes. Mari never liked any of my ideas.

"Told you not to follow her. She's not Crowface.", said Delroy.

"She's literally the first suspect listed in Peterson's black book.", I said.

"That list had, like, a bazillion suspects!"

"Which is why we're sneaking around, stalking them all!", said Maritza.

The phone broke up for a moment, and I tapped the screen. I heard Maritza say "Duh!" before the phone finally went back to normal.

"Thought you fixed our franken-phones, professor.", said Delroy. I rolled my eyes again, "I'm an inventor, not a professor."

"Can you invent something less boring than this stakeout?"

I rolled my eyes once more, palming myself in the face and letting my hand slide down my face as I tried to hold back a groan.

"Abanate vanished!", said Trinity. I looked back at the phone, eyes widened in shock.

"Uh, probably just got parents to meet or kids to expel.", said Delroy.

"We better move on to suspect #2."

I looked behind me to see Mr. Murtaugh walking into his classroom, and I took a deep breath. "On it.", I said. I quickly ran in and ducked behind one of the desks, making sure to be extra stealthy.

Maybe if I got closer to him, I could read his mind. That way I could prove he was Crowface. Because apparently, just one reason wasn't enough to prove something.

"You're all wrong. Murtaugh is Crowface.", I whispered into my phone.

"How do you know?", asked Enzo.

"Because only someone evil would give me a B+ on my last assignment.", I said. "Me! B+!"

I crawled behind another desk closer to him, and I slowly peeked behind it, and I heard his thoughts.

"Oh I can't wait for the reopening of the park! It will be so lovely and lively, and people's bodies will be everywhere! Just falling down from above the rides and appeasing the master."

My jaw dropped.

This man was absolutely insane.

Who was his master?

"That doesn't mean it's him, Iv-"

I jumped when I heard Enzo's voice come through the other end of the phone, and I quickly put it on silent. I heard Murtaugh turn around and make an unholy moaning sound.

Could he see me?

He can't see me. I'm hiding. There's no way he could see me!

Then I looked beside me to see a red flashing light of a currently active power strip.

Oh fudge pops!

I heard him stalking towards me, breathing some terrifying song rather than singing it. I scrambled to hide in the closet.

I saw him peek behind the desk I hid behind, and after a minute, he turned off the power strip and went back to his desk. I creeped out of the closet , walked out and walked down the hallway stairs.

I turned my phone back on.

"It's definitely Murtaugh. I managed to get away.", I said. The phone began to break up for a second, and I heard a noise behind me. "Wait. What was that?"

Then the phone cut off, and there wasn't any more signal.

I tapped my phone a couple of times, but I should've been smart enough to know that that wouldn't work.

Maybe if I moved to a different room, I could get some more signal.

I walked down the hallway, but then I heard footsteps behind me. I turned around to see who was there, but I didn't see anyone. I considered just walking backwards so I could keep track of my surroundings.

I made my way to the cafeteria and slowly stepped inside, and I dropped my phone when I heard the sound of the footsteps growing faster and louder.

Terrified, I ran to the lunch counter and got down on my knees.

"School is my happy place. My happy place is school.", I kept saying to myself, clutching my knees close to my chest. "School is my happy -"

I heard the cafeteria doors open, and someone walked in. They knocked over some pots and pans, and soon, they were right with me behind the counter.

Of course. Murtaugh.

I stood up and grabbed the back of his cloak.

"The jig is up, Murtaugh. I know who you are.", I said.

The man in the black cloak didn't move. I shook his shoulder, thinking maybe that would get him to confess.

"Stop playing dumb with me! I know you're Crowface, Murtaugh. I've known you were evil since you gave me that dreaded B+. Now here you are, cursing half of the town and giving me and my friends death stones? You should be ashamed...of...yourself..."

But when I read his mind, I didn't see or hear any guilty thoughts like "I've been found out" or "He knows", nothing like that. Just...

"This little fool."

The man in the black cloak turned around, snatched his mask off his face, and I saw someone who wasn't Murtaugh, but a different man who almost looked like a corpse. His pale, gray face looked at me like it wanted to kill me.

He reached into his cloak, and took out a black, long, sharp dagger.

I screamed and moved to run, but the man grabbed me, pulled me back, and drilled the dagger into my side.

He kept repeating the action, plunging the dagger into different places of my body.

I began to lose my vision, my voice, my breath, and my movement. What's worse is that I felt my body draining as I began to lose blood.

The man let go of me, and I fell to the floor, losing consciousness.

[girlgawain]

for the ask game, asking something obvious like damian + 1, 4, 8, 21

and asking something less obvious like miriam caskey + 5, 9, 12, 26

because blackwater needs some love

character ask game

Great choice of blorbos: you always know how to get my attention <3

Answers under the cut because it got long winded very fast; also tw for self harm discussion

Damian (Darkest Dungeon)

1. Why do you like or dislike this character?

Where do i even begin? I love how self destructive he is, or, to be more specific, how he turns his self destruction into a holy mission, the only valid way to repent for his and other people's sins, feeling superior to everyone else because of said "holy" self destruction. I love the contradiction between his self-punishment through mortification of the flesh and sense of superiority because of the same mortification of the flesh: for this reason i headcanon him acting "holier than thou" especially towards the other religious characters, as if his way of worshipping the Light is the only "true" one, while the others aren't willing to literally rip themselves apart for their faith (i especially headcanon him mocking Reynauld for wearing armour, but this is not a question about headcanons so i digress).

I also love what they did with him in the second game, taking his zealotry and its contradictions to an extreme. I know that not everyone was convinced about his fear and ability to escape Death, but i think it fits the character: he wants to suffer, not to die (or at least, not die as a consequence of his self-harm). The game itself makes this moment more about the pleasure he feels by hurting himself, but also i think there is a less explored angle which is hinted at in some barks (i am thinking especially of the "I am already damned - what's the harm?" bark at the Academic's Study and the several barks talking about "deliverance"): that he fears death not only because he doesn't want to stop suffering, but also because he feels like he hasn't suffered enough to deserve salvation yet. I wish this angle of his character was explored more, but in a game with so relatively little dialogue, i'll take what i get.

Also i like how he works in gameplay: giving enemies massive bleeds while an inch away from death makes me feel powerful.

tl;dr: i think his relationship with self-harm and religion is very interesting and i have spent way too much time thinking about it.

4. If you could put this character in any other media, be it a book, a movie, anything, what would you put them in?

You know this because we discussed it irl, but i think it would be funny if he and John Ward (from Faith: the Unholy Trinity) switched games.

8. What's something the fandom does when it comes to this character that you despise?

I don't engage a lot with fandom outside of my mutual circle (or even in said circle), but a thing i've noticed and started to dislike is when people reduce him to "loony (sado)masochist".

21. If you're a fic writer and have written for this character, what's your favourite thing to do when you're writing for this character? What's something you don't like?

My first ever fanfiction was about him! His characterization is just that compelling to me. I love that i can have a lot of fun and be super extra in my writing because he is that extra in the game; also getting in that "self-destructive but holier than thou" headspace while being able to step back and acknowledge to myself how dysfunctional it is was a very cathartic experience for me. (also i have an idea for another fic about him, but i don't know when/if i will ever write it)

As for things i don't like, i can't think of anything, at the moment.

Miriam Caskey (Blackwater)

5. What's the first song that comes to mind when you think about them?

I never thought about this, but just as i read the question my mind immediately went to Oh no! by Marina, which is weird because i haven't listened to this song in ages, so there's your answer.

9. Could you be roomates with this character?

I think yes, but only if we just shared the space and never talked to each other if it wasn't necessary, otherwise she could get on my nerves pretty quickly.

12. What's a headcanon you have for this character?

My girl is aromantic as fuck: how else can you explain her reasoning behind finally getting married at forty years old literally being "oh well, that's an item i haven't checked off my checklist yet: guess i should do it *shrug*" and then her choice being first guy she could think of because he was around her all the time already?

26. What's something the character has done you can't get over? Be it something funny, bad, good, serious, whatever?

There are many moments i could pick from but i chose the one from book 4, when she chooses to attend the Catholic college just to surprise (and maybe even spite) her family, has a terrible time there but doesn't even consider going back home because she thinks they wouldn't welcome her, and then finally opens up to Grace and Sister when they come check up on her: it's the first time we see the fragile, wounded girl under her tough exterior, it's the starting point of her character development and it's the point when i realized that she would be my favourite character of the entire series.

[thegamingcatmom]

Do you think that vampires in the smeyerverse like the Denali sisters can get drunk off the blood of a intoxicated human (assuming that these feral sisters are still feeding off of humans…at least on occasion) or even after feeding off of a highly adrenalized animal (like the veggie vampires can get drunk or maybe high off of the adrenaline of the animals they feed on if that makes any sense???) If so, do you have any headcanons for drunk!denali sisters x sober!mc who is trying their best to manage three shitfaced beauties… i know this is a weird request but ever since reading your lovely fanfiction The Sisters the idea has been one of my Roman empires for a while now ;)

(Another ask that took me way too long to answer. Apologies! 🫶)

First off: Pls don´t ever think of your question/request as too strange or "weird" to ask. This blog doesn´t judge, so pls don´t hesitate to reach out to me about any HC or thoughts you might have. Twilight or other. 🤗❤️

Second of all: "shitfaced beauties" LMAO, I love this!

Right so, I think there would defo be some effects. Not as intense as the intoxicated human they drank from, but still enough for MC to realize-

...Something´s wrong. And not the kind of "wrong" she´s (had to) become used to.

(We´re in the feral universe here, obv.)

How did MC come to this conclusion, you ask? Well...

.

.

.

The Unholy Trinity return from some good ol´ sisterly bonding when they (quite literally) stumble upon a very confused MC (girl´s been babysat in their absence ofc):

Irina, strolling towards her: "Well, well...if that ain´t the bane of my existence."

...

Dreadful Red talks to her? And not just that-

Irina: *smug smile starts spreading*

...She smiles at her too???

👀

Is this a game? A trick? A trap that´s just waiting to snap shut? MC´s always known this day would come, but she didn´t expect it to be so soon-

Kate: "Whoa, whoa, whoa, excuse you?"

Kate: *proceeds to violently hug MC*

MC, face squished between boobs: ❓💀❓

Kate: "She was the bane of my existence first!"

Irina: *overly dramatic eye rolling followed by even more dramatic scoffing*

Tanya: *swaggers towards them*

Tanya: *sees MC´s face in places it has no business being in*

...

Tanya: *stomps towards them*

Irina, scoffing: "Please...you´ve been drooling over her like a starved dog the moment you set eyes on her."

Kate: *slow blinking*

Kate: *pushes MC away, holding her at arm´s length as she gives her a quick once-over*

Kate: *violently hugs MC back to her, face squished between boobs and all*

Kate, without an ounce of shame: "...Duh. Your point?"

Irina: 🙄

Tanya, who has witnessed it all: *seething*

Tanya: "Katrina!"

Kate: "Ugh."

Tanya: *indignant spluttering*

Tanya: "Don´t you dare ugh me, sestra!"

Tanya: *grabs MC´s wrist and proceeds to pull-*

Kate, who refuses to let go: "Or what? Huh?... Or should I say UGH?"

Tanya: *eye starts twitching*

Tanya: "Give her to me. Now."

Tanya: *pulls again*

Kate: "Or what?"

Kate: *pulls back*

Tanya: "Or we´ll have a serious conversation."

Tanya: *pulls again*

Kate: *lets out the fakest gasp in history*

Kate: "Oh no! Not a conversation!"

Kate: *pulls back*

MC: *starts to get a whiplash from the constant back and forth*

MC: "Uhh...guys-"

Tanya: "Alright. If it´s action you prefer then how about I go and erase all your progress on that stupid console you spend day and night shouting at?"

Tanya: *pulls again*

Kate: *lets go because her mind´s still processing*

MC: *face goes from one set of boobs to another*

Tanya: *hand comes up to make sure that head stays right where it is*

MC: "Mphf-!"

Kate, sus af: "...You´re playin´."

Tanya: *shrugs*

Tanya: "Am I?"

MC: *muffled sounds of protest*

Kate: "..."

Tanya: "..."

Kate, turning to Irina: "...´RINA-"

Irina: "That shouting is damn annoying."

Kate: 🥺

Tanya: 😏

MC: *hands flailing as she tries to unstuck herself*

Kate, pulling THAT card: "...CARMEEEEEN!"

Tanya: "SHHHH!"

Kate: "YOU SHHHH!"

Carmen, in the distance: "Katrina?!"

Tanya: *starts cursing in Slovak*

Irina: *snorts*

Tanya: "You´re such a child!"

Kate: "Says the one who can´t share!"

Kate: *looks pointedly at a squished MC who´s desperately trying to get some air*

Tanya: *eye starts twitching*

Carmen, who has reached them by now: "What seems to be the problem here?"

Tanya & Kate: *go off at the same time, accusing the other of various things (some of which have absolutely nothing to do with the problem at hand), pointing their finger and all*

Irina: *smiles serenely as she soaks it all up*

Carmen: *eyes dart back and forth between them as she tries to distinguish one voice from the other, trying to do everyone justice, before her gaze lands on-*

Carmen: *Spanish mom mode activated*

Carmen: "Tatjana Espinosa Denali!"

Tanya & Kate: "..."

MC: *muffled panicking cause AIR*

Carmen, pointing to MC: "Déjala ir!" (Let her go!)

Tanya: *releases MC so damn fast-*

MC: *takes a greedy gulp of air as she stumbles towards her savior*

Irina: *snorts*

Carmen: "¿Qué les he dicho a ustedes dos sobre-" (What have I told you two about-)

...

Carmen: *stops to take a cautious whiff*

Tanya & Kate: *start sweating (not really, but you can bet your ass they would if they could)*

Carmen, indignant: "¿Ustedes dos…borrachas?" (Are you two...drunk?)

Tanya & Kate: "...No?"

Irina: *snorts*

Carmen: *turns to her in response, only to realize-*

...

Irina: *...swallows*

Carmen, in utter disappointment: "Irina-"

Irina, panicking: "THEY FORCED ME!"

Tanya & Kate: "WHAT?!"

MC: *snorts*

Carmen: *turns to her in response*

MC: *...swallows*

Tanya & Kate & Irina: 👀

Carmen: "...You did nothing wrong, mi amor. You may go."

MC: 😇

Carmen: 🥰

Tanya & Kate & Irina: ❓🤯❓

MC: *walks off with a noticeable skip in her steps*

Carmen: *watches her go, a serene smile on her face*

Tanya & Kate & Irina: ❓🥺❓

Carmen: *turns to face the Unholy Trinity*

Tanya & Kate & Irina: "..."

Carmen: ...🙅‍♀️ (crossed arms)

Tanya & Kate & Irina: 😅

Carmen: 🙅‍♀️

Tanya & Kate & Irina: 💀

.

.

.

OKAY THIS TURNED WAY CRACKIER THAN I EXPECTED. 😭

(Carmen wasn´t initially planned btw, but drastic times call for drastic measures.)

But yeah, bickering is second nature for Tanya and Kate, so I imagine it only gets worse (and a lot hornier) when they´re somewhat "intoxicated," lol. As for Irina-

She actually becomes quite...approachable? I´d say? She´s a lot more relaxed for sure, and she might even be convinced to participate in her sisters´ (mostly Kate´s, let´s be honest) shenanigans. IF she´s drunk enough, lol.

Also, you know how there´s different types of drunk?

Tanya Denali:

Kate Denali:

Irina Denali:

Tanya is kinda a mix between angry and affectionate and horny, depending on who she has to deal with. She´ll also lose her posh attitude for the most part.

Kate is...Kate. Just a lot hornier. (She basically turns into sober!Tanya, LMAO.)

Irina loses some of her rough exterior and might even start conversing with people she normally wouldn´t spare a glance.

.

.

.

Thanks for your ask! I had a lot of fun with this one. 💋

And also: TYSM for your lovely words on my fic! ❤️🫶

[sanjoongie]

Toy

✥Pairing: Nct's Mark Lee x Reader (f)

✥Genre: first love trope, rags to riches, small town au

✥Word Count: 2,173

✥Warnings: public sex, exhibitionism, penetrative sex without a barrier, fem dom, male sub, oral (f recieving), hair pulling, refer to mark as a dildo/toy, degradation kink, mark is a simp for the read straight up, m and f orgasm

✥Rated: 18+ MDNI, smut with no plot

✥Summary: Mark's back in town and he's convinced that his new LA vibes and incredible job are exactly what it'll take to shove into your small town face that you missed out on him, and perhaps seduce you in the process

✥Dedication: @flowerboykun you are quite literally the reason I wrote this. thank you for helping inspire me to write. @downtoamagicalland & @mejuii my unholy trinity beta reading team, thank youuu

Mark walked into your coffee shop with a swagger in his step that you had never seen him with when you used to know him. Gone was the ambitious boy with stars in his eyes and here was a man who knew his worth. It was late, you were just about to close shop for the night when the bell on your door had announced his arrival.

His smile was friendly enough, as he leaned on the counter, and animatedly told you about his life since high school. He went to a prestigious tech school, moved to L.A to work in Silicon Valley, where all the major tech companies lived, and now he was a C.P.O apparently. He folded his arms with a satisfied look on his face, waiting for you to wilt in the way he had progressed and you had not.

"That's really amazing, Mark," You said with such a genuine awe that he felt his vengeance dwindle immediately. "I'm so glad you managed to do what you dreamt of. That's all I ever wanted for you."

Mark scratched the back of his head, laughing and hoping to hide his shock at how kind you still were. "Yeah I really did, didn't I?"

A playful smile pulled at your lips. "I still remember when I used to babysit you and you were grumbling about making better games than what was on my Playstation."

Mark frowned. Did you still see him like that little kid? He raised an eyebrow at you. "Well I've gotten laid since then so I think that's a bit behind me now."

You laughed at his deadpan. "I'm sure you did, Mark."You shook your head and moved to another counter to clean up before closing. 

"Don't believe me? I could show you."

You stopped cleaning and turned around slowly. "Why would you show me?"

"I'm not that kid you babysat anymore," Mark raised his chin stubbornly. "In fact, I'm a better lay than majority of these guys left in this stupid town."

It was your turn to raise an eyebrow at him. "Do you think it's that easy to get between my legs, Mark? Brag about how good you are in bed and then I, what, sit on this counter and open my legs for you?"

That caught Mark off-guard. You were supposed to be melting for him. He expected you to be quaking with his freshly bleached hair and west coast vibes. That's what he was used to, of course. He forgot your stubborn nature and your pride. "I--no--but!" 

"Oh no," You said in a sarcastic voice, "by all means. Let me help you play out your fantasy, Mark."

You removed your apron and climbed onto the counter. You sat back with your legs apart, palms flat on the counter to support you. "You're so fucking hot now," You cooed at him mockingly, "What I wouldn't give to have your head between my thighs right now."

Mark visibly swallowed, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down. "Hey, there's no need--"

"Isn't that what you want to hear?" You interrupt him harshly. "Just some small-town girl in awe that you would fuck her?" Your tone turned sugary sweet again, "I can't believe I'm gonna get fucked by the Mark Lee," You giggled.

Mark frowned. "Stop it."

You tilted your head. "That wasn't what you were looking for?"

It had been but now seeing it play out in front of him, Mark wasn't too sure. "Nah. It wasn't."

You sighed heavily through your nose. "Come here, you idiot."

Mark approached you cautiously but you seemed only mildly annoyed at him. He walked closer and you grabbed him by the lapels of his jacket and pulled him between your legs. "You look good, Mark. You really do."

"Yeah?" Mark continued to look up at you from under his eye lashes and then looked away.

You released his jacket and ran your hands through his hair. "Yeah! I like this. It suits you."

Mark made eye contact with you, biting on his lip. Fuck, after all these years, he was still a simp for you. "Maybe--" 

You accidentally pulled his hair, finding a knot and Mark let out a whine that was nothing short of lustful and needy. You both froze, unsure of how to move past the moment. 

"Mark?" You said his name hesitantly.

"Yeah?" He responded, cursing how much higher pitch his voice was right now.

"Do you want me to tug your hair while you eat me out?"

Mark choked on his spit and coughed. "Yes? Please?" He couldn't deny you anything. If he could be useful--if he could he used by you--he would be happy.

You motioned with your chin. "What are you waiting for then? Take off my pants."

Mark looked over his shoulder. "But you didn't--"

You grabbed his head and turned it back your way. "Mark? Are you going to be a good little toy and lick my pussy or not?"

Mark almost lunged for your lips. You sat back and avoided them with a teasing smile. "Then you better get to work."

With your ass on the edge of the counter you had only just wiped down before this, Mark was in between your thighs, moaning with enthusiasm. Your lower lips were wet and so sweet, he felt like he was feasting. The loud smacking coming from in between your legs was lewd at best but you couldn't find any fucks to give. Mark was actually stimulating your lower half so fucking well that you found yourself running your hand through his hair and grinding into his tongue and nose. 

"Mmm fuck," He mumbled into your pussy, half crazy with lust and half empty brain, pussy drunk on you.

"You like eating pussy that much, Toy?" You cooed mockingly down at Mark. "Or is it my pussy you're in love with? You want me to ride your face all day, hmm? Want me to grind down on your nose and get off? You gonna fuck my pussy with your tongue too, Mark? I bet your face is a mess right now. Show me." You degraded Mark as he licked your cunt and he couldn't have a more painful boner than he did right now.

Mark let you tug his face away from your pussy, enjoying the sweet pain on his scalp. His face was covered in your wetness and his eyes were rolling in the back of his head. His tongue came to lazily lick his lips. "Please. I wanna hear your noises. I won't even touch myself. Just let me get you off."

You chuckled in amusement. "You really wanna be a good toy for me, Mark?"

His eyes opened and they were hooded but directly glued to yours. "Please."

"Then be a good little dildo and fuck me."

A pin could drop, it was so quiet and then abruptly Mark was raising himself to his feet, heavy boots making a lot of noise as he did that. He tugged on his snakeskin belt quickly, undoing the buckle with one hand and pulling down his zipper with the other. "I'll be a good dildo for you, I promise. I'll fuck you deep and hard and you won't have to do anything but let me fuck you."

You hooked your legs behind Mark and guided him to your heat with your heels digging into his ass. You smirked, the smile threatening to spill into a grin. "Gonna fuck me good, little toy? Did you learn well out west? Gonna show me what you can do?"

Mark rutted against your wet folds, a whine building up in the back of his throat. His cock, thick and veiny, rubbed you the right way. "I'll be a good little toy for you."

You reached down and grabbed Mark by his shaft. He let out a garbled moan and bucked into your hand until your fingers brushed his pelvis. You stroked back upwards, to just the base of his head and guided him to your hole. He sunk into you as you pushed firmly on the small of his back with your heels. You tipped your head backwards and arched your back at the feeling of being full. 

"Fuck that's good," You sighed.

Mark licked his lips, watching you carefully. Not that he minded holding his position. The picture you were making for him was good enough to capture for his spank bank later. He wanted to lean over and suck love bites all over your neck and collarbone and the swell of your breasts. He wanted to rip open your button up shirt, have your breasts spill from the cups of your bra and curl his tongue around your nipples. But he watched and waited for your cue. He was your toy, after all, and would only do as you commanded.

"Slow, measured strokes, toy," You ordered, head still tipped back.

Mark brought his hand to the small of your back to brace you and then began to thrust into you with a slant to his hips in order to rub that spongy part inside of you. When you let out a low moan and snapped your head upwards, he knew he was doing it right.

"Just like that, shit," You groaned and then braced your feet back on the counter, spreading your legs wider for him.

Mark rolled his body, sucking in his lower lip, eyes focused on the way his dick moved in and out of you. He's whining again, biting down now, because you feel so fucking good around him that he might just nut before you're done, and he'd rather not fail you when he's got the chance to be here.

As if you knew Mark was struggling, you prompted him. "Come on, Toy, fuck me harder, hmm? I wanna come before someone sees us."

Mark had almost forgot that he was fucking you in public. The coffee shop was closed and it was late at night but anyone could walk down mainstreet and--he moaned, his hips stuttering. 

You wrapped your arms around Mark's neck, dragging him closer, so you could speak into his ear. "You want someone to see us, don't you?" Mark's sharp intake of breath let you know you hit the nail on the head. "You like people watching you fuck or you want them to know that you fucked me?"

Embarrassment flared up in Mark’s stomach but the lust there overrode it. “What if they see you using me like a toy?”

You chuckled quietly and then moaned when Mark once again hit that spot deep inside of you. “Better show them you’re a good toy then, lover.”

Mark’s grip on your hips got tighter as he visibly swallowed again. Your moans were like music to his ears and he was addicted to them. He wanted to come inside of you so fucking badly but more importantly, he wanted to see what your face looked like when you came so he could capture it forever in his mind. 

Your hands went from the back of Mark’s neck and racked through his hair, only to grip it tightly, making Mark hiss at the pull of his hair. Then he whined when you pulled his head back enough to suck a hickey on his neck. Were you being possessive of him?! “Fuck, I--” Mark bit down on his lower lip harshly.

“Is my toy going to come?” You cooed mockingly once again. “You gonna squirt inside of me? Gonna give me a creampie that I can play with?”

“Don’t--” Mark’s voice cracked and he cleared it, “Don’t say that.”

“Shut up, Toy,” You said with a coy smirk and then brough Mark’s lips onto yours in a messy kiss.

The two of your bodies worked in unison to chase both of your climaxes. Mark came with a low groan into your mouth, you pulling on his lower lip as he worked his cock in and out of you, coming inside of you. Your pleasure washed through your nerves, pleasantly surprised at how your toes curled and your back arched. 

You continued to card through Mark’s locks, eyes scanning his face. Mark couldn’t look you in the eyes, laughing at his inability to still look his long time crush in the eyes. “You really are something else, Mark Lee.”

Mark’s eyes slowly found yours upon your statement. “Really?”

You smiled, one side of your lips pulling upwards. “Yeah. And you didn’t have to fuck me for me to admit that, by the way.”

Mark laughed in embarrassment. “Yeah, that was just another itch I had to scratch.”

“Babysitter to lover?” You quirked an eyebrow at him.

Mark groaned, throwing his head back in frustration. “I had a crush, okay?”

“It’s not a crush anymore,” You prompted.

Mark smiled, crooked and maybe a little bit confident, “Yeah.”

You ruffled Mark’s hair and pulled away. “Now help me clean your cum off of my counter, please, Mister Silicon Valley.”

[literally-rachel-berry]

Alright gang, here's my list of songs I wish could have been sung in GLEE

You are more than welcome to suggest more songs or changes to the list

-------------------------------------------------------

🌊Riptide (Vance joy) - sung by Finn after Rachel moves to new York OR Sam to Mercedes same time

🪻Beautiful things (Benson Boone) - sung at regionals, led by Santana and Blaine. they would kill that song OR a duet between Rachel and Finn sometime (Rachel is scared of losing him)

☀️ I ain't worried (OneRepublic) - Puck and the class in some sort of 'cinima week' idk, puck would just be good

💚 Jealousy (Olivia Rodrigo) - Rachel watching Quinn and Finn interact and Quinn just being popular and pretty

Taylor week

• 🪩Bejeweled (Taylor Swift) - Tina, replace 'gangnam style' at that regionals performance with bejeweled (or literally any song) bejeweled could also be a part of a 'taylor week' episode

• 👯‍♀️Shake it off (ts) - Quinn, about how she doesn't let stuff get to her

•🩸 bad blood (ts) Rachel berry about anyone (when is she not beefing with one of the characters??)

• 🦋ME! (Ts) Puck and Quinn

• 🩷 Our song (ts) Brittana duet, lead by Brittany

• 📝 blank space (ts) Artie, sung at Sugar Motta, who is rather oblivious

🍾 Good luck babe! (Chappell Roan) - Rachel and Kurt duet over Blaine in that one episode where he's confused sexually after the drunken spin the bottle

✨Primadona (MARINA) - As a group led by Santana, Rachel, and Tina, a girl vs gu y episode OR sing battle (diva off) between Rachel, Mercedes, Tina and Santana

💋The red means I love you (madds Buckley) - Quinn, i cant think of a reason. I just want it. Probably when she goes crazy over beth. Some sort of dream sequence or performance

👗Prom dress (mxmtoon) - Tina during her senior year blues in season 5

👩‍❤️‍👨Therapy (tick tick boom) - Either Tina and Mike as a class performance, or Blaine and Kurt near pre breakup

👞Head over heels (tears for fears) - class performance, led by Artie and Finn

❌⭕Ex's & ohs (Elle King) - Mercedes and cast, regionals performance

🐦‍🔥Cradles (sub urban) - class performance, a duet with Artie and Mike, cutting between dream sequence with Artie and Mime dancing,

👶Cats in the cradle (ugly kid Joe) - Puck or Finn (or both) thinking about Beth.

♀️♂️ Blame it on the girls (Mika) - Sung by Finn

(and maybe puck and Artie or something) About a boy they are jealous of, like Jessie St James

👄 Bang Bang (Jessie j, Nicki minaj, Ariana grande) - sung by the unholy trinity (Brittney is Nicki, Santana is Jessie j, Quinn for Ariana) OR for a different version, Brittney, Mercedes, Santana and just all the girls

🃏 House of memories (panic at the disco) - Blaine Anderson warblers performance

🌶️ Hot to go (Chapel roan) - Brittany school performance

🏳️‍🌈 Pink pony club (Chapel roan) - Santana Kurt duet

🧜‍♀️ Part of your world (Disney) - Tina

🎤 Without me (Eminem) - Artie and Mike, with other boys maybe, starting riot

😾 What is this feeling (Wicked) - Rachel and Quinn during a fight, could be a class performance or a dream sequence type of deal.

[indiestsnake]

been playing Fatith: The Unholy Trinity

and I gotta tell ya the speed the game goes from “how is this a cult classic” to “oh god Amy I’m so sorry God have mercy on my profane soul deliver me from guilt and sin” is frightening

genuinely this game scares the shit out of me. Its imagery and sound design is such a perfect flavor of horrific. It actually get struck with this horrible dread that I’ll go to hell when I die when I play it. I love it so much.