#oh god or that one game show question that technically had no right answer

[unnonexistence]

95% of math brainteasers that go viral are just bad notation and it drives me up the wall

[scratchybongvt]

WHO WANTS TO BE A MILLIONAIRE CHALLENGE!!! (Sidemascots 1.3)

Vinicius: But since the primetime version is boring af, it’s who wants to be a millionaire… on steroids.

Everyone: WHAT?!

Vinicius: Oh I didn’t mean literally steroids.

Olympic Phryge: I think I’m going to have PTSD…

Sumi: Get over it!

Olympic Phryge: Over what?

Sumi: Your drunk sister from the last episode!

THE SIDEMASCOTS!

Vinicius: Season 1!

(Sumi’s phone dings)

Sumi: Sorry guys, Mukmuk sent me a message. Mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk mukmuk.

Vinicius: Aw, he speaks like Pokemon.

Miraitowa: What does it mean?

Sumi: He said “Miga lost her eyeballs after repetitive eye strain and the fact that she was watching Sumi’s shit YouTube channel in the last episode. She’s now in hospital. Apologize to her now, or I’ll never again lend you maple syrup!”

Vinicius: Aw, guys, filming is postponed.

Honohon: Aw, come on!

[Technical difficulties]

THE SIDEMASCOTS!

Vinicius: Season 1, starring the world’s wettest mascot… Myaku-myaku!

Sumi: What in the name of Patricia Martin?!

Myaku-myaku: It’s my love interest, Italia-chan.

Sumi: (breaks pasta to scare Italia-chan away)

Myaku-myaku: What?

Sumi: Number 1, we only allow 10 mascots at a time, number 2, we do not tolerate stereotypes!

Burke: Stereotypes? Didn’t we have an Olympic Mascot Stereotype in our crew?

Miraitowa: Who?

Burke: You.

Miraitowa: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

[Technical difficulties]

Vivi: Welcome everyone to the “on steroids” version of Who Wants to Be a Millionaire, I’m your host and volunteer of Mitsubishi’s biggest cash-in…

OC IV: (in distance) I thought their biggest cash-in was the Mitsubishi Electric Cup!

Vivi: Vivi!

Honohon: #montamino

Burke: #meredithvieira

Wenlock: #christarrant

Vinicius: #silviosantos #rip

Miraitowa: Aw, she’s so cute, I want to give her cuddles.

Borobi: To be honest, shouldn’t you do that with Someity every weekday?

Miraitowa: WHAT?!

Burke: Where’s Nana when you need her?

Sumi: She’s probably arguing with our creative director about who should run the show!

OC IV: It’s MY show!

Nana: No, it’s MY show!

OC IV: But I make better scripts!

Nana: But I have better questions!

OC IV: But I am your father!

Nana: What?

OC IV: I am your father!

(Nana weeps and runs away)

OC IV: Let’s go, guys!

Burke: Way to go with your film references, OC!

OC IV: THANKS!

Vivi: Uhhh… let’s call our first contestant… Sumi!

Sumi: Let me guess… 15 questions, 3 safe havens, 3 lifelines?

Vivi: No, 6 questions, no safe havens, but you got the last one right.

Sumi: WHAT? THIS ISN’T SYNDICATED!

(Everyone laughed)

Vivi: If you get a question wrong, you’ll have second chances for redemption! If you think we got it wrong, either you or the audience can challenge us to correct the question!

Wenlock: This is confusing, and I know the new Champions League format for god sake.

Vivi: If you got the challenge wrong, you’re KICKED OFF THE SHOW!

Sumi: *trembles* This show or the Sidemascots?

Vivi: Joke, it’s this show only.

Sumi: Phew.

Vivi: But who knows someone gets fired from the sidemascots!

Sumi: WHAT?!

(Everyone laughed.)

Vivi: Bring in the first question!

OC IV: GOT IT!

Vivi: This cat AGAIN?! Should we pick someone else once in a while?

OC IV: I have… an aura!

Vivi: Oh, yes, aura. I should remember that. First question: Where is next year’s Expo held?

Myaku-myaku: EASY!

Vinicius: Pffft…

Sumi: Next year, final answer, shut up and move on!

Vivi: 2025, wow! I didn’t know you had such an interest in the expo!

Sumi: We have Myaku-myaku for nothing!

Myaku-myaku: Shouldn’t you wait for me to hint you?

Wenlock: #tecwenwhittock

Vivi: Silent, or else this show would be a stand in the park, let alone a walk! Next question: Where does Vancouver FC stand in the Canadian Premier League currently?

Sumi: 6th place with a 7-5-12 record, final answer, shut up and move on!

Wenlock: I didn’t know I had a mid-table friend!

Vivi: Incorrect!

Sumi: INCORRECT? I REMEMBER THAT LAST GAME AGAINST FORGE! WE WERE SHIT! I DEMAND A CHALLENGE!

Vivi: American black bear with Flappy Hands demanded a challenge! Burke, can you do the honors?

Burke: I can confirm Vancouver finished 6th out of 9 with a 7-5-12 record.

Vivi: Correct answer, wow!

Sumi: LONG LIVE VANCOUVER FC!

Wenlock: I thought you support the Vancouver Whitecaps?

Sumi: SHUT UP WENLOCK! I DON’T WANT TO BE AMERICAN SLAVES!

Vivi: Next one: Where do Vancouver Whitecaps stand in the Supporters’ Shield rankings currently?

Everyone: OOOOOOOOOH!

Sumi: I’m sorry but I don’t watch the MLS for a long, long time.

Burke: TRAITOR!

Sumi: Last time I watched it, Atlanta United won the league, we were in 14th!

Burke: I’m truly… humbled.

Sumi: I guess we did worse than that?

Vivi: WRONG! 10th!

Wenlock: I didn’t know his former club was a mid-table side.

Sumi: I demand a challenge!

Vivi: Burke?

Burke: I can confirm Atlanta finished in 22nd… I mean Vancouver in 10th!

Vivi: That means Sumi, you’re eliminated!

Sumi: Thanks a lot.

Wenlock: That’s for not watching the MLS for a long, long time!

Vivi: Which also meant Burke, you’re in the hot seat!

Burke: Me in the hot seat? I’m truly humbled…

Honohon: Oh shut up!

(Transition)

Vivi: Burke, your first question is… who invented Coca-Cola?

Burke: John Pembleton, final answer, shut up and move on!

Vinicius: So much for someone from Atlanta…

Vivi: Correct! What is the average length of a baguette?

Everyone: OOOOOOOOOOH!

Olympic Phryge: It’s…

Vinicius: Shut up Phryge!

Burke: Maybe a foot long? I’ve seen a footlong before.

Sumi: The measurement or the sandwich?

Burke: The sandwich! Let’s be honest here, Subway is trash and I’ll never come back again!

Vivi: You’re correct! Wow…

Olympic Phryge: OBJECTION!

Burke: Oh no…

Olympic Phryge: Number one, footlong sandwiches are never a foot long anyway, and two, it’s 60cm or about 23,6 inches!

Vivi: The answer… will come after the break!

(Burke proceeds to bribe Vivi)

Vivi: The answer is… yes! 60cm!

Olympic Phryge: ALLEZ LE BLEUS!

Vivi: Which means Burke, you’re out!

Burke: Where’s the redemption I needed…

Vivi: Olympic Phryge, you’re in!

(Transition)

Vivi: Phryge, everyone’s most hated mascot…

Olympic Phryge: Show off!

Vivi: Your question is: Did Paralympic Phryge go to a strip club last night?

Vinicius: WHAT?!

Sumi: It’s like Para Phryge herself wrote those!

Olympic Phryge: My sister is brainwashed, and I don’t know where she was yesterday.

Vivi: Correct!

Olympic Phryge: What?

Vivi: I don’t know! Because one, the filming crew said to me they just took her home, and that was in the afternoon! No one knows what she did last night! Two, all of her social media accounts have been inactive since early September!

Vinicius: Should we hijack the CCTV cameras of that nightclub?

Sumi: Agreed! Though, I don’t know where is it.

Vinicius: Uhhhh… me too!

Vivi: Next question: Banana.

Everyone: WHAT?!

Vivi: That was the questioners! Not me! If I made those questions, I would have been better off leaning bias toward the Mitsubishi Pavillion cash-in!

Sumi: If that was Paralympic Phryge, I’ll round her houses.

Olympic Phryge: I don’t know what’s the point, is it because it’s long, yellow, ripe, and lovely?

Vinicius: Where do I get this before…

Olympic Phryge: Can I phone a friend?

Vivi: By the fine rules of Who wants to be a millionaire syndication… yes!

Olympic Phryge: I’ll call my brainwashed sister.

Vivi: Ha, what?

Olympic Phryge: Hi! Paralympic Phryge: I don’t know who *hiccups* who are, dickhead!

Olympic Phryge: I wonder if you’re willing to help me…

Paralympic Phryge: I was smashing shots in a strip club last night!

(Everyone gasped.)

Vinicius: Well that answers the previous question.

Olympic Phryge: The question is banana. Is there a proper answer to that, drunk?

Paralympic Phryge: No! WAHEY! *chugs can of Sting*

(Call ended)

Olympic Phryge: I’ll just walk away.

Vivi: You can’t quit!

Olympic Phryge: I can and I just did, what’s the money for answering one question?

Vivi: It’s like war, what is it good for? Absolutely NOTHING!

(Transition)

Vivi: It’s time for the next hot seater… Borobi!

Borobi: Thanks for letting me in.

Vivi: Great, because the first question is, where did the Gold Coast Suns finish in the Premiership in 2016?

Everyone: OOOOOOOOOOH!

Borobi: Oh no, it’s not our first season, nor is it our current, it’s in between.

Vivi: Exactly! There’s more chances I’ll quit this shit job than anyone in the studio watching Aussie Rules Football! I LOVE BEING A TV SHOW HOST!

Borobi: Let me guess. 9th?

Wenlock: I didn’t know I had a mid-table friend.

Sumi: You literally said the same thing about me.

Borobi: Can I ask the audience?

Vivi: Yes you can! Everyone! Where did the Gold Coast Suns finish in the Premiership in 2016? Write your answers now! Well.

Borobi: Well?

Vivi: It’s either “don’t know”, “don’t care”, or “go Atlanta Falcons!”

Burke: GO ATLANTA FALCONS! *blows vuvuzela*

Borobi: Oh no, I’ll take 9th as my guess.

Vivi: WRONG! 15th out of 18!

Borobi: Even I never remember AFL mate… The sport fell off.

(Transition)

Vivi: The next contestant is Honoh- WHAT IN THE NAME OF NANA?

Vinicius: REVEAL YOURSELF! WHO BLACKED OUT THIS STUDIO?

Paralympic Phryge: It was ME, WAHEY! *chugs bottle of Coke Zero* Let’s get this starty parted!

Everyone: PARALYMPIC PHRYGE!

Vivi: Is she this season’s antagonist?

Olympic Phryge: Why?

Paralympic Phryge: Revenge for trying to abuse me, WAHEY!

Vinicius: WHAT?!

Sumi: We didn’t “abuse” you, we asked you to feature in the last episode and you belatedly said yes!

Paralympic Phryge: I don’t remember *burps* me doing that.

Vinicius and Sumi: WE DID!

Sumi: Here’s the email! Admit it!

Paralympic Phryge: NO! I’M GOING TO SABOTAGE YOU ALL! WAHEY! (crashes into a wall)

Olympic Phryge: Aw, I want to punch her in the face sometimes.

Vinicius: Really?

Olympic Phryge: Really. I really need to give her a lesson!

Vinicius: Oh.

Sumi: If you desperately want to sabotage your drunk sister, we’ll help you!

Olympic Phryge: Really?

Vinicius: Really!

Olympic Phryge: Oh thanks a lot. I feel better now.

Vivi: Olympic Phryge to sabotage Paralympic Phryge in the next episode! Done deal and here we go! #pleasevisitthemitsubishipavillioninnextyearsexpowhereweactuallyofferyouallchocolate

Sumi: Join us next time for the next episode of the sidemascots, aka…

OLYMPIC PHRYGE ATTEMPT TO SABOTAGE PARALYMPIC PHRYGE!

Vinicius: It’s all going to go down…

Tom: NEW SIDEMASCOTS EPISODE? HA, IT’S SH-

[aro-simp]

4, 7, & 19 for the general selfship ask game!!

(if-okinglovethem <3)

Thanks for the ask :DD

4. Is there an f/o you have never/rarely talked about publicly? Tell us a little something about them!

I answered this question in another post already but I'm gonna answer it again anyway x3

I only pretty recently posted on here about selfshipping with Ari/Arminius and his son Gaius! I have seperate s/i's for them tho (actually I have two for Ari cause... I love himmm)

They're from the show Barbaren, which is about the Battle of the Teutoburg forest and well... Arminius, which is a topic VERY VERY dear to me, it's been a huge interest since I was a child.

I have very conflicting emotions on Ari tho, I'm extremely attached to him but every time I actually watch the show I can't stop thinking "oh god wtf are you doinggggg"

I also just... LOVE roman armor and he looks so good in it <3 I am a simple man with a weak mind

7. If you could choose one f/o to be with you RIGHT NOW who would it be, and why?

CHASE, oh god I love my husband sososososo much TwT And I have been thinking about him nonstop, especially today. I can't even put on a jacket without thinking about how the warmth makes me yearn for a hug from him.

8. How closely do you identify with/as your s/ i's, if you have any?

Usually pretty closely, in many cases s/i's are just our sources! I would like to... get closer tho? It's somewhat odd to describe. I don't see much of a difference between me and my s/i's but often they lack the parts about myself I hate the most so I end up drifting from them again in terms of identification.

I'd say I identify as my s/i's, I just struggle with the obvious, everlasting curtain between reality and fiction.

19. Do you have an AU where multiple f/o's from different sources exist together? Tell us about it!

I keep wanting to work on one but I just can't! I have so much love for all my f/o's I think if I had to be with multiple of them at once I'd despair trying to share my love.

Except technically my httyd AUs I have for a bunch of f/o sources? In all of them I also keep Toothless. But I don't really like using the term f/o for him tbh. He's "just" my best friend.

[sanstropfremir]

wait tell me more about your undergrad thesis play you did

ok i can't actually say too many details because it will doxx me (the play was deeply specific to the city i went to undergrad in) but i have to lay some groundwork first:

i did not actually choose to do this play. if given actual agency i would not have done this play, it was a bad play

hilariously, not every design program grad actually got to do a final/thesis show. our program only did three shows a year, which meant that a maximum of 3 students per discipline (set/costume/lighting) got to do a show. and usually it was less that that bc there were graduate students and occasionally a professor stepped in if the student crop was weak (it usually was). this is how you obtained a final show (for set design):

duking it the fuck out in a no holds barred semester long competition IN the set design class where the prof pits you against each other in every critique to see who can design the best show according to the director's specifications.

no i am not joking

i was not particularly enthused by any of the show selections in my graduating year (the season is picked in advance by a committee of staff+directors) but i sure as hell am ambitious so i decided i was gonna do preliminary designs for every show. and also interview to try and get a costume design slot, but the department literally stepped in and told me i couldn't design two shows in a year.

anyways. i go above and beyond building prelim models for these three shows, but again i get sidestepped by the department and told that i can't design more than one show, so i have to pick which one i want to do, so i went with the show that would become my final show bc the director was very adamant about working with me.

the play is a REWRITE of the government inspector by nikolai gogol, and that rewrite is being done by the director herself. the rewrite is set in the literal city that my university is in, part of it revolves around a very famous historical landmark

all of this happens a year in advance to the actual show (second semester of my third year, the show's run dates are late second semester of my fourth year), so i have the entire summer and all of the first semester to tidy up the prelim design and get it approved etc etc. here are a select few of some of the insane stories than happened over the time it took to make this show:

the director does NOT finish the script until about a week before rehearsals start

the director invites me to a 'design meeting' that actually turns out to be a private meal at a very expensive sushi restaurant and possibly the most expensive meal of my entire life. the director treats me to some extremely expensive fish and two bottles of sake, which i drink all of. i should point out that i am 21 at the time and the director is anywhere between the age of 65 and 85, no one actually knows. also the director IS LITERALLY MY PROFESSOR

the director will not decide on what she wants on the floor (has to function as both indoor and outdoor space, the floor is also a nearly 30ft diameter turntable (not my choice) so any patterns HAVE to match a circle) and when we finally settle on a mandala pattern she makes me draw FORTY DIFFERENT MANDALAS over a three week period before she decides on one.

i make the props department order over a thousand dollars of fake plants. it takes up a third of my budget, but they are most of the set pieces 🤷‍♀️

the head of shop somehow gets the actual city council to lend us real actual city lampposts. like real real ones made of aluminium and glass and shit. they get wired up with portable dimmer packs and put on small platforms so they both actually for real light up AND roll around the stage

there's a fuckup with the scenic painting class + the rehearsal schedule (the rehearsals are running behind and there are not enough scenic painters) so the mandala painting has to happen in only two days AFTER 10pm. i end up painting most of the mandala myself in those two overnight shifts that go until 4am

oh and there's also a fuckup with the new set design prof that's coming in so i'm literally left without a supervisor for an entire semester while the show is in pre production.

[memetaped]

most popular girls in school taken from the tv show.

i said where, not when, you idiot.

what, did you suddenly adopt the vocabulary of bob the builder?

i’m sorry, doc, but i don’t live in a goddamn mentos commercial.

do you guys ever talk about anything other than, like, revenge?

we should probably go eat an entire meal and reorganize.

i’m coping. i’m celebrating. i’m copebrating. i’m celebroting.

oh my g.

we’re kind of in the middle of something right now, so if you could, you know, not.

god, i want to fucking murder you.

oh, you are a calm breeze in my fuckstorm of a life that i’m living.

are you gonna try to nickname yourself again?

note to self: corn dogs and mountain dew do not mix.

you look like a tampon that was dipped in skittles and vomit.

psst. psst. psst.

i want to poop here. whenever i want for as long as i want.

welcome to the new reality.

stop trying to force your full house references on us.

byeeeee.

but the “me” i want to be likes to curse.

i don’t really think that this is the kind of thing that anybody should be laughing at.

you were supposed to be watching the door.

someone threw a rock at me today.

why do you say “how do you say” before words you clearly know how to say?

om, nom, nom, nom. i’m hungry for lunch.

TMI but thanks.

whoa, i think i’m going to pass out.

well, well, well, sounds like there’s discord on cheer mountain.

i’m recording it on the DVR so that i can fast forward through commercials.

i didn’t believe that for a goddamn second.

you have the worst timing ever. we’re kind of dealing with a situation here.

jesus christ, is that a fucking gremlin?

i’m not saying anything. i’m just saying.

the answer to a question i never asked.

now where the hell is my nonfat skinny caramel hazelnut jamocha cappuccino?

the ghost of christmas past wouldn’t sell me anything.

it means whatever the fuck you want it to mean.

by a nap, do you mean ambien and a box of wine?

you cursed me out in the bathroom earlier today.

i think i know how to mix ex-lax into a fucking drink, okay?

well, i don’t want to be rude, but that story was very long and much more involved than i originally thought it would be, and i’ve had to poop through most of it.

just give me one second. annnd it’s on twitter.

i’m sorry, but why the fuck is everybody yelling over here?

no, write-in, like with a pen.

don’t erase my DVR.

so much technical jargon, jesus louisus!

that’s a nightmare. a nightmare i call my life.

and it can’t be me because i’m halfway through shark week.

what the fuck is wrong with you?! throwing hacky-sacks all around willy-nilly like this was the goddamned x-games.

don’t worry. i’ve got this.

oh, jesus christ, you’re a fucking trainwreck.

my ears will never be clean.

i’m trying to keep my stress levels down. i’ll explain later, but just know that i agree with pretty much everything you said.

i guess the only part of your plan that didn’t work was the whole goddamn thing!

don’t ever fucking cut me off again, do you understand me?

but if you put too much, then it won’t mix with the liquid and it’ll just sit on top like semen on root beer.

and that’s why i always say, “trust a decepticon and you’ll get burned”.

you think you can maintain consciousness for the next five minutes?

“not the best idea”? it’s a fucking ridiculous piece of shit of an idea!

i know you got your own issues, but we’ve literally spent the last three weeks talking exclusively about that.

hit the bricks, bitch.

we’ll make you an admin on our facebook page, include you on the google docs and start cc’ing you on all emails.

oh my god, i feel like it’s staring right at me. it’s like the eye of sauron.

never mind. posted, tagged, your life is ruined.

i wanted to play angry birds, not read wuthering fucking heights.

oh my, somebody’s gonna be walking very funny tomorrow morning.

is chiffon a material or a person? or both?

i’m in the matrix.

oh, well that sounds like a perfectly rational decision.

son of a – son of a gun, son of a freaking gun.

i’m glad this is gonna be a fair fight. like rocky and apollo creed.

i think you meant to say fudging poop-show.

do you think anyone will notice i’m bald?

you’re right. because a fly is an innocent creature that never knowingly did anything to anybody. you, however, i would maim.

how about i come back there and kick your ass?

if i didn’t have splash mountain coming out of my ass, i swear i’d rip your fucking head off.

you look up “bitch” in the dictionary and you’re gonna see my fucking face!

i just threw up in my mouth. please stop talking to me, and walk away.

you want me to say no, right?

because i’ve seen every single robocop, and i know how to take you out.

the only true happiness comes in death.

but in exchange for that, you have to watch a whole episode of glee with me.

it was barely a joke. it was just an insult with no laugh line.

i’m here to tell you two things. you’re famous and you’re welcome.

wait, why did you just answer a question that you just asked?

i ate the last bag of gushers while you were taking your afternoon bath, you dirt ball.

ew, it has a bloodstain on it.

that just made me think of something to put on my vision board! i’ll be right back.

this is pizza street, not a toddler’s kitchen.

i’m sorry, but someone like you wouldn’t really understand what i’m going through right now.

what the fuck is the wi-fi password?

i had to leave. i had to reinvent myself.

you have my full and complete attention.

wait, so is hipster a technical term for people who get dressed in the dark?

less talk, talk. more make, make.

what the fuck do i have to be stressed about? 

[meruz]

once again i am answering asks in a big compilation post. included is... gotham, patrick stump, tips about drawing backgrounds, tips about drawing in general, links to my faq, and infinity train

like.... the tv series? No... I’ve drawn dc comics fanart before, though. But it’s been years since I’ve been really into it. I like jumped ship like 10 years ago when the New 52 happened LOL.

AFJHDSLKGH I’m sorry I (probably) won’t do it again??

Actually full disclosure I have a truly cringe amount of p stump drawings/photo studies in my sketchbook right now LOL. He’s just fun to draw... hats, glasses, guitar, a good shape... but I don’t think I’ll rly post those until I can hide them in another big sketchbook pdf.. probably Jan 2022. Stay tuned........ (ominous) 

(ominous preview)

These are all sort of related to backgrounds/painting so I grouped them together even though they’re pretty much entirely separate questions.... ANYWAYS

a) How is it working as a BG artist? Is it hard? What show are you drawing for?

I think you’re the first person to ever ask me about my job! Being a background artist is great. It’s definitely labor intensive but I think that could describe pretty much any art job (If something were rote or easy to automate, you wouldn’t hire an artist to do it) and I hesitate to say whether its harder or easier than any other role in the animation pipeline. Plus, so much of what truly makes a job difficult varies from one production to the next, schedule, working environment, co-workers etc. But I will say that I think while BGs are generally a lot of work on the upfront, I think they’re subject to less scrutiny/revisions than something like character/props/effects design and you don’t have to pitch them to a room like boards. So I guess it’s good if you don’t like to talk to people? LOL

A lot of my previous projects + the show I’ve worked on the longest aren’t public yet so I can’t talk about em (but I assure you if/when the news does break I won’t shut up about it). But I’m currently working on Archer Season 12 LOL. I’m like 90% sure I’m allowed to say that.

b) ~~~THANK YOU!! ~~~

c) What exactly do you like to draw most [in a background]?

@kaitomiury​ Lots of stuff! I really like to draw clutter! Because it’s a great opportunity for environmental storytelling and also you can be kind of messy with it because the sheer mass will supersede any details LOL. 

I like to draw clouds... I like to draw grass but not trees lol,,, I like to draw anything that sells perspective really easily like tiled floors and ceilings, shelves, lamp posts on a street etc.

d) Do you have any tips on how to paint (observational)?

god there’s so much to say. painting is really a whole ass discipline like someone can paint their whole life and still discover new things about it. I guess if you’re really just starting out my best advice is that habit is more important than product. especially with traditional plein air painting, I find that the procedure of going outside and setting up your paints is almost harder than the actual painting. There’s a lot of artists who say “I want to do plein air sometime!!” and then never actually get around to doing it. A lot of people just end up working from google streetview or photos on their computer.

But going outside to paint is a really good challenge because it forces you to make and commit to lighting and composition decisions really quickly. And to work through your mistakes instead of against them via undo button.

My last tip is to check out James Gurney’s youtube channel because hes probably the best and most consistent resource on observational painting out there rn. There’s lots other artists doing the same thing (off the top of my head I know a lot of the Warrior Painters group has people regularly posting plein air stuff and lightbox expo had a Jesse Schmidt lecture abt it last year) but Gurney’s probably the most prolific poster and one of the best at explaining the more technical stuff - his books are great too.

e) Do you have tips for drawing cleanly on heavypaint?

@marigoldfool​ UMM LOL I LIKE ONLY USE THE FILL TOOL so maybe use the fill tool? Fill and rectangle are good for edge control as opposed to the rest of the heavy paint tools which can get sort of muddles. And also I use a stylus so maybe if you’re using your finger, find a stylus that works with your device instead. That’s all I’ve got, frankly I don’t think my drawings are particularly clean lol.

f) Tips on improving backgrounds/scenes making them more dynamic practicing etc?

Ive given some tips about backgrounds/scenes before so I’m not gonna re-tread those but here’s another thing that might be helpful...

I think a good way to approach backgrounds is to think of the specific story or even mood you want to convey with the background first. Thinking “I just need to put something behind this character” is going to lead you to drawing like... a green screen tourist photo backdrop. But if you think “I need this bg to make the characters feel small” or “I need this bg to make the world feel colorful” then it gives you requirements and cues to work off of.

If I know a character needs to feel overwhelmed and small, then I know I need to create environment elements that will cage them in and corner them. If a character needs to feel triumphant/on top of the world then I know I need to let the environment open up around them. etc. If I know my focal point/ where I want to draw attention, I can build the background around that.

Also, backgrounds like figure compositions will have focal points of their own and you can draw attention to it/ the relationship the characters have with the bg element via scale or directionality or color, any number of cues. I think of it almost as a second/third character in a scene.

Not every composition is gonna have something so obvious like this but it helps me to think about these because then the characters feel connected and integrated with the environment.

Some more general art questions

a) Do you have any process/tips to start drawing character/bodies/heads?

I tried to kind of draw something to answer this but honestly this is difficult for me to answer because I don’t think I’m that great at drawing characters LOL. Ok, I think I have two tips.

1) flip your canvas often. A lot about what makes human bodies look correct and believable is symmetry and balance. Even if someone has asymmetrical features, the body will often pull and push in a way to counterbalance it. we often have inherent biases to one side or another like dominant hands dominant eyes etc. you know how right-handed artists will often favor drawing characters facing 45 degrees facing (the artist’s) left? that’s part of it. so viewing your drawing flipped even just to evaluate it helps compensate for that bias and makes you more aware of balance.

2) draw the whole figure often. I feel like a lot of beginner artists (myself included for a long time) defer to just drawing headshots or busts because it’s easier, you dont have to think about posing limbs etc. But drawing a full body allows you to better gauge proportion, perspective, body language, everything that makes a character look believable and grounded.

Like if you (me) have that issue where you draw the head too big and then have to resize it to fit the proportions of the rest of the body, it’s probably because you (I) drew the head first and are treating the body as an afterthought/attachment. Sketching out the whole figure first or even just quick drawing guides for it will help you think of it more holistically. I learned this figure drawing in charcoal at art school LOL.

oh. third mini tip - try to draw people from life often! its the best study. if you can get into a figure drawing/nude drawing class EVEN BETTER and if you have a local college/art space/museum that hosts those for free TREASURE IT AND TAKE ADVANTAGE OF IT, that’s a huge boon that a lot of artists (me again) wish they had. though if youre not so lucky and youre sitting in a park trying to creeper draw people and they keep moving.. don’t let that stop you! that’s good practice because it’s forcing you to work fast to get the important stuff down LOL. its a challenge!

b) I’ve been pretty out of energy and have had no inspiration to draw but I have the desire to. Any advice?

Dude, take a walk or something.... Or a nap? Low energy is going to effect everything else so you gotta hit that problem at its source.

If you’re looking for inspiration though, I’d recommend stuff like watching a movie, reading a book, playing video games etc. Fill up your idea bank with content and then give yourself time/space to gestate it into new concepts. Sometimes looking at other art works but sometimes it can work against you because it’s too close. 

Also something that helps me is remembering that art doesn’t always have to be groundbreaking... like it’s okay to make something shitty and stupid that you don’t post online and only show to your friend. That’s all part of the process imo. If you want to hit a home run you gotta warm up first, right? Sports.

I should probably compile everytime i give tips on stuff like this but that’s getting dangerously close to being a social media artist who makes stupid boiled down art tutorials for clout which is the last thing i want to be... the thing I want to stress is that art is a whole visual language and there are widely agreed upon rules and customs but they exist in large part to be broken. Like there's an infinite number of ways to reach an infinite number of solutions and that’s actually what makes it really cool and personal for both the artist and the viewer. So when you make work you like or you find someone else’s work you like, take a step back and ask yourself what about it speaks for you, what about it works for you, what makes it effective, how to recreate that effect and how to break that effect completely, etc. And have a good time with it or else what’s the point.

for the first 2, I direct you to my FAQ

For the last one, I don’t actually believe I’ve ever addressed artwork as insp for stories/rp but I’ll say here and now yeah go ahead! As long as you’re not making profit or taking credit for my work then I’m normally ok with it. Especially anything thats private and purely recreational, that’s generally 100% green light go. I only ask that if you post it anywhere public that you please credit me.

(and I reserve the right to ask you to take it down if I see it and don’t approve of it’s use but I think that case is pretty rare.)

a) @lemuelzero101 Thank you!!! I haven’t played Life is Strange but actually  that series’ vis dev artist Edouard Caplain is one of my bigger art inspirations lately so that’s a really high compliment lol. And yeah I hope we get 5-8 too...!

b) Thank you for sticking around! I’ve been thinking about Digimon and Infinity Train in tandem lately, actually. They’re a little similar? Enter a dangerous alternate world and have wacky adventures with monsters/inanimate objects that have weird powers... there’s like weird engineers and mechanisms behind the scenes... also frontier literally starts with them getting on a train. Anyways if anyone else followed me for digimon... maybe you’d like Infinity Train? LOL

c) @king-wens-king I’M GLAD MY ART JUST HAS PINOY VIBES LOL I hope you are having a good day too :^)

a, b, c, d) yessss my Watch Infinity Train agenda is working....

e) aw thank you!! i think you should watch infinity train :)

[snowywrites]

Monika x Fem!reader

summary: fluffy fic of Monika and the reader on the reader's birthday.

word count: 2.4k

As far as birthdays go, this one wasn't really anything too special. Well, maybe you're being a little too cynical. After all, last year you hadn't really gotten to spend your birthday with any friends- you'd been preoccupied with getting home to watch the newest season of your favorite anime.

This year, however, Sayori had managed to get you into the Literature Club, and it had, not to be dramatic, changed your life. For better or worse, that was yet to be seen.

"Y/N, is everything okay?" Sayori asks expectantly, bright blue eyes examining you with bewilderment.

You focus back on the present, giving your friend a reassuring smile. "Yeah, sorry! Everything's great." And you aren't lying; today for the club meeting, Natsuki had brought cupcakes for everyone to share, Sayori had actually not realized what day it was and so gave you a 'birthday hug,' Yuri had given you a copy of one of her favorite horror novels as a gift, even signed by the author, and yet...

You can't help but give a very small sigh. "I just kind of miss Monika, I guess."

Sayori, Natsuki, and Yuri all exchange glances in their respective chairs at one of the club tables. They then all focus on you with varying expressions: Sayori with mischief, Natsuki with exasperation, and Yuri with knowing amusement.

"What? Don't look at me like that!" You squeak defensively, feeling your face begin to heat up at what they were implying. "I only meant that it's- it's weird being at a meeting without our club president! T-That's all." Not that this could be called a meeting per se- more like a celebration between friends.

Sayori giggles at your reaction, and you hear Yuri whisper to Natsuki, "The lady doth protest too much," which elicits a snort of laughter from the pink-haired tsundere.

You groan, standing up abruptly from your seat and smoothing down your school uniform a bit, self-conscious all of a sudden. As your embarrassment dies down though, you feel a wave of affection for your fellow club members. As much as they tend to tease you about your little crush on Monika, they had made your birthday really special this year, and you were grateful. "Anyway, thank you guys again for everything! I had a lot of fun," you say earnestly, deciding it was probably time to wrap up and head home.

Sayori bounces up to join you, and you bid your farewells to Natsuki and Yuri, gathering up your things and heading out of the classroom.

Sayori glances back to make sure that Natsuki and Yuri are in fact walking away, and then she reaches out to stop you. "Uhm, Y/N...?"

You pause to look at her expectantly, unsure of why she's much less energetic now than she was a few minutes ago. "Yes?"

"I-I was actually supposed to tell you something," your best friend begins, uncharacteristically quiet. You wonder briefly why she hadn't mentioned this before... maybe she had been debating on whether or not she actually wanted to tell you whatever it is, considering how the words are practically being dragged from her at this point. "Ah, well, Monika asked me to, that is. The reason she couldn't come to the Literature Club today was because she was stuck at a meeting with the student council, but..." Sayori exhales in what could be a sigh. "She did still wanna see you for your birthday, so she hoped you could stop by there and wait for her."

You stand there in the mostly empty hall of the school, puzzled at why this news would bring such a reaction from your friend- especially when it makes you feel so fluttery inside. "Oh!" You try not to let it show, but you're fairly certain you're lighting up like a Christmas tree. "I see. Thank you for telling me, Sayori!"

As you turn to leave, you feel Sayori reach out to touch your shoulder, but she retracts her hand quickly. When you look back at her, she's her old self, giving you a big smile. "Yeah, I guess you're gonna go see her, huh? Well, I'll catch you later, Y/N!"

Before you can respond, Sayori dashes off, forgetting to wish you a happy birthday.

Well, that was weird. Then again, Sayori's been pretty off lately whenever you and Monika are involved.

The thought of the brunette is enough to make you forget all about whatever might be troubling your best friend, and you make your way through the school to the student council room with a giddy spring in your step. They must not be out yet since the halls are pretty deserted still.

You risk taking a peek through the little glass window on the door, and your hunch is confirmed. Students belonging to the council are all sitting in a circle of chairs, discussing... well, school-related business stuff. You aren't really sure what they do, exactly.

You catch sight of Monika at the head of them, naturally because she is the president, but you aren't expecting to see her with such an expression.

Usually, Monika seems to you warm, open, patient, and friendly... but here, she looks... not even bored, but more like she's utterly apathetic towards all the conversations going on around her. You've never seen her so uncaring, to the point where she seems almost irritated by the presence of everyone in the room with her.

Maybe she's having a bad day? The thought makes you a bit sad, and you find yourself wondering if she would even want to see you. Do the others in the council even realize she's so unlike herself?

As if to answer your silent question, one of the other students turns to Monika to say something, and when they do, the familiar expression you're used to your club president wearing slips back with ease onto her face. She listens attentively to whatever it is she's being told, and then she smiles and nods, commenting something you can't hear in return.

You watch the exchange, too fascinated to stop watching even if you do worry someone might notice you peeking inside for such a long minute. As soon as the student turns away from her, Monika is once again the picture of discontentment; you even notice her tapping her nails listlessly against the surface of the table they're all seated at.

The sound of the doorknob rattling causes you to leap backwards in shock, stumbling slightly over your own two feet. The meeting must be over, because someone is stepping out, and then another, and then you're hurriedly dodging out of the path of the entire student body as they file out, talking and laughing with one another as they head down the hall, eventually leaving you alone.

"Y/N?"

Looking away from their retreating figures, you face Monika and find her as she always is with you- curious emerald eyes and a friendly air about her. "Ah- hello," you greet her, trying not to sound as awkward as you feel about your... let's be honest, spying.

"I wasn't really sure that you'd show!" She exclaims, startling you with a sudden hug.

You've actually never gotten a hug from Monika, although you have a ton of hugs to compare hers to- Sayori throws herself at you pretty much daily, and hers tend to be suffocating, always too tight and lasting a bit too long.

From Monika, though? Her hug, despite making your head spin and your heart skip a beat, makes you feel so safe, secure... she's so warm and you can't help but be enamored with whatever perfume she uses.

Unfortunately, you're too stunned to return the embrace in time before Monika pulls back from you, and you could swear she has a faint blush on her cheeks. She doesn't apologize for her impromptu action, though, and you're glad for that.

"Why wouldn't I?" You ask, dumbstruck.

She studies you for a few seconds, and you get the idea that she's trying to detect if you're being serious or not. Eventually she says, "Oh, nevermind that! I am glad to see you, though. I have something I wanted to give you."

'Please refrain from saying something really stupid and cheesy like, 'the best gift you could give me is just getting to see you on my birthday,' you think to yourself. "A gift? You really didn't have to- or, I mean, you shouldn't have-! Not that I don't appreciate it, though...!" You don't typically struggle so much with your words, but you're still a little off your game after the lovely hug. It's like your mind is foggy, your tongue is twisted, and you simply can't think straight. Which isn't really new when you're around Monika, but today it's impacting you even more than normal. Maybe because you two are all alone for once, not surrounded by Sayori, Yuri, or Natsuki, or even any other students for that matter.

Monika gives a soft laugh. "I wanted to. Technically it's two somethings rather than one," she admits.

You find your mind racing as it tries to go over the potential possibilities. A book like Yuri? That would be very fitting, since you'd befriended Monika through the Literature Club.

You watch as she takes a gift box out of her bookbag, offering it to you with a sweet, "Happy birthday, Y/N."

God, you're definitely blushing. Like, fierce blushing. Either that or the school suddenly decided to turn fifty heaters on all at once. 'Geez, pull yourself together!! Act normal!' You internally berate yourself. If there had been any doubt before, it was all erased in this one instant- you were head over heels for your club president.

"Awh, thank you! It's nice of you." You accept the gift, examining it momentarily. As expected of the class star Monika, the box itself is wrapped perfectly. It's even your favorite color, with a matching ribbon tying it shut. Whether or not you're a sentimental person, you recognize that this is the sort of memento that could easily be kept for a long, long time. You glance back to your friend. "May I open it now?"

Monika nods. "Please do!"

You feel her gaze on you as you carefully untie the ribbon and open up the gift box to see what's inside.

She was right, it is more than one thing. They sort of go together though, you realize as you lift one of the presents up to admire it.

In your hand is a necklace. The chain is a light silver, and the pendant contains a pretty stone in the shape of a heart. The stone shimmers slightly as it reflects the light of the school hall.

"It's so pretty...!" You breathe.

"I'm glad, I thought it was pretty too," Monika says. She sounds calm, but when you glance at her you think she's ecstatic, but the expression is gone as soon as you blink, leaving you to wonder if it had been your imagination playing tricks on you. "It's your birthstone, did you notice?"

You hadn't noticed until she'd pointed it out, but it was indeed your birthstone. Monika is just... so very thoughtful. It's really no wonder she's so popular. "Thank you so much!!" You chirp, still somewhat surprised that she would go so far just for a birthday gift for you. You hadn't known her personally for very long, after all.

You set the necklace back down inside the box to bring out the other gift, another accessory- it's the same color as your birthstone necklace, but it actually reminds you of something else.

Yes, it's a big bow similar to Monika's own. If you were to wear it, it could even look like she and you were matching. You could just be reading too much into things, though...

"I.. love them. So much." You have an overwhelming urge to put your thoughts onto paper in order to give Monika the proper thanks that she deserves for being possibly the most generous person in existence, and because you feel like you're failing miserably at voicing just how touched you really are by these gifts. "I almost want to get you something in return...!"

Monika shakes her head in amusement. "It's your birthday, not mine." A contemplative finger rests on her chin as she adds, "Although... there is something you could do for me. If you wouldn't mind, of course."

Perplexed, you respond without giving yourself a chance to think about it. "Anything!"

You're rewarded with an affectionate smile from Monika, but it seems as though she was expecting that to be your answer.

She extends a hand for the gift box that you've already set both the bow and necklace back in, inquiring, "May I?"

Wordlessly, your intrigue piqued, you hand it back to her. She takes the bow out first, stepping closer to you.

It's not foolish of you to have been anticipating a kiss- even now you could very easily initiate one if you so chose, because of how terrifyingly close Monika is to you as she gently pulls your hair back for you, tying it back with the Y/FC bow and even brushing a stray lock of hair from your face after she does so.

While you're struggling to recover from your short-circuiting, Monika takes the necklace and places it around your neck. The brush of her fingers sends sparks of static against your skin, and you feel as if time is standing completely still, and it's just you and her in this world.

The faint click of the necklace as it clasps shut is what brings you back to reality, and all too soon Monika is stepping away from you again, still close but at a much more reasonable distance away.

She appraises your appearance and then smiles softly. "As I thought."

Is she being mysterious on purpose or does being around her just happen to kill your brain cells? "E-Eh?"

"You look lovely, Y/N."

The compliment makes you want to bury your face in your hands in the futile hopes of hiding your blush, but by now it's probably too late for that.

You stutter out your thanks, desperately trying to mend your scattered thoughts, and she once again wishes you a happy birthday, reminding you as well to bring your poetry assignment to the club meeting tomorrow.

As she's leaving, you realize you never got the chance to ask about the strange behavior she'd exhibited during the meeting with the other students.

[saeyoungchoismaid]

Exes Confront Each Other | Leviathan

this was made by the one and only @cyberbunny33​, so make sure to show her some love <3

[ how did you meet? ]

you: Through work actually!

Leviathan: Yeah, I’m an indie video game programmer and designer. (Y/n) was one of the artists that I hired for the game I was working on at the time.

you: Levi gave me the task of making his character ideas into concepts and while on a video call with him, I shared my screen with him and he noticed that one of the characters I was working on looked like his favorite character Henry from The Tale of the Seven Lords. He went fanboy mode and started rambling about the character. It was so cute!

Leviathan: Oh my god. It's the most embarrassing thing I've done in front of someone because they didn't even know what I was talking about!

you: I thought it was cute. His tangent was the reason I looked up the character and where he was from! I even made an homage of the character and got him placed in the game just for Levi.

Leviathan: That was really cool. It was cool to work on that game with them. (Y/n) made a lot of really cool NPCs to mess with and code.

you: You did really good at coding the game too and bringing the characters to life!

Leviathan: So yeah, that's how we met. I hired them, we got talking, and yeah...

[ why did you break up? ]

Leviathan: 

you: 

Leviathan: So—

you: He was the one that broke us up.

Leviathan: You broke up with me—

you: Leviathan, no. We’ve talked about this. You broke us up.

Leviathan: (Y/n), you broke up with me. All I did was bring it up!

you: You pressured me into breaking up with you!

Leviathan:

you: 

✄

you: I’m sorry. I didn't mean to yell.

Leviathan: It's okay. This was bound to bring up some…emotions.

you: Yeah, um, so technically I broke up with him. Even though I personally think he broke us up.

Leviathan: 

you:

[ what did you love most about each other? ]

you: You wanna go first? {smiles} I need some time to pick one.

Leviathan: P-Pick one?

you: Yeah. I need to figure out what I like most about you. I have too many to pick from. {giggles}

Leviathan: {flustered} O-Oh, uhm, sure I guess…

you: {turns to the camera} Isn't he adorable?

Leviathan: S-Shut up, you normie! O-Okay, so… 

you: {laughs}

Leviathan: Stop giggling! You’re making me nervous!

you: Okay, okay! I’m sorry! {smirks}

✄

Leviathan: Okay. The thing I love most about them is that they’re really confident.

you: You love that I’m confident?

Leviathan: Yeah. I love that you’re a confident person. You don't really let anything get you down and you’re just yourself which I also love. You’re so sure of yourself and aren't afraid to try new things.

you: Awe, Levi! That's so sweet!

Leviathan: Hush! You don't have to be so loud!

you: I just think it’s cute!

Leviathan: God, you’re such a tease…

you: {laughs and gives him a wink}

✄

you: Okay, my turn!

Leviathan: Kill me now…

you: Don’t be so dramatic.

Leviathan: {groans}

you: So! Out of everything, what I love most about him is that he's so passionate about the things he loves. He's never afraid to go on and on about his likes. He just looks so cute when he goes on tangents about his favorite game or how an anime that he really likes is getting a new season.

Leviathan: That's not cute, it's annoying. I'm just annoying people with my ramblings.

you: {sighs} This is what I hate about him.

Leviathan:

you: Wait, that’s a question?

[ what did you hate most about each other? ]

you: Well, would you look at that. {chuckles}

Leviathan: Wanna go first this time? Since you already mentioned it?

you: Uh, sure. Might as well right? Okay, so like I said, what I hate most is the self-loathing. Levi just puts himself down so much and I hate it. He calls himself a ‘yucky otaku’ and says he isn't worth anything. It honestly breaks my heart every time he says something like that.

Leviathan: Because I am. It's gross and annoying. How the hell did you fall for me to begin with?

you: See? Levi, this is what I meant when I said you broke us up. You told me that I shouldn't be dating you because I could do better.

Leviathan: Because you can! You’re so cute, energetic, and full of love that it would be a waste to give your love to me!

you: I'm not ‘wasting my love’ on you! I’m giving it to you because you deserve it. Why do you think I went out of my way to ask you out? We’ve talked about this…

Leviathan: I just—can we move on?

✄

you: So, what do you hate most about me?

Leviathan: Well, I don’t really hate much about you, so I had to think really hard about this, but your…confidence?

you: You love and hate my confidence? 

Leviathan: I-I don’t hate it per se, but I’m more so envious of your confidence in a way?

you: Jealous of my confidence?

Leviathan: Yeah, I think? I love that you’re sure of yourself and can stand up for things, but I also hate it because I don't have that. I don't have that same self-love you have about your body or-

you: Levi— 

Leviathan: I-I know, I know. ‘Stop talking bad about yourself.’ Sorry…

[ do you think you could try again? ]

you: We’ve argued a lot through this, but I think you know what my answer is.

Leviathan: (Y/n)—

you: Levi, I love you! I still do. I never wanted to break up with you to begin with! Please! Just give us a chance! Give me a chance to show you that you deserve to be loved!

Leviathan: I…(Y/n), I don't know. You could do so much better…

you: I don't want ‘better,’ Leviathan, I want you. You’re enough for me.

Leviathan: {flustered} 

you: Please? Let me show you this can work.

Leviathan: O-Okay, yeah. Let’s try.

you: I missed you.

Leviathan: I missed you too, angel. {smiles}

you: {shy giggle}

Lucifer: That’s all I need. {smirks}

MASTERLISTS

Exes Confront Each Other Masterlist

More with Leviathan

Tag List: @katelynwithpaint​, @buzzybeebee​, @officialdevorak​, @thesoftkittylexy​, @jungialo​, @fanfictwarrior​, @ohbbobeyme​, @zeldan7​, & @otome-otakuwu​ ✦ if you would like to be added or removed, comment or send an ask. Also, remember to tell me if you ever change your username so I can continue to tag you :)

[ps-i-dont-even-know]

Devil may cry parent headcanons

Dante

He probably is a fun dad but at the same time don't leave your kids with him, it would be a disaster

Will wake up to crying at 12 am and try to put the kid back to sleep, ends up with both of them watching tv instead

This man will do anything with your kid, they want to go to the park, sure he'll have to keep an eye on them. They want to see the movies, sure has to be below pg or he will never hear the end of it from the nightmares his kids have. Want to go to the zoo, sure he just needs to make sure they don't go into the exhibit.

He will play dress up and tea time with them. He will put on a dress and have them do his makeup just so he can go to tea time, and might start some beef with Mr teddy for stealing his cupcakes, but he will do it proudly.

He will try to do their hair in the morning for school, again he is not the best at it and will probably give them crooked pigtails, he's trying he really is.

Can't cook for shit, I'm sorry if you think he could cook please take a look at all the pizza box stored around his shop. Like he will take cooking lessons or watch cooking shows but dear god how do you set fire to milk.

He will always be there for his kid to vent even if he doesn't know how to respond he will sit and let them rant about stuff, also trying to cheer them up because he doesn't want to see them sad

If they brought their homework to him he would be confused he can barely pay his bills i don't think he knows how to do math, but drama he will rock that stuff his acting skills are on point even if it's cheesy

Will waste all his money on the kid, toys, clothes, video games, you name it he will buy it and give to the kid

Remember how I said not to leave your kid alone with Dante yeah, he may or may noteave his weapons/devilarms around for the kids to grab them, like halfway of Dante walking into the main room and he sees ebony in his kids mouth he tricksters all the way to them and quickly grab ebony before anything bad happens, but the kid will start crying and he has to find something for them to mess with or he'll get a headache

He accidently devil triggered in front of his kid now depending on which one he get two responses and he's expecting screaming for both, but if its regular dt like humanish looking one, "woah, dad grew scales and wings, are you a lizard king?" Now its his Sin Dt he would get "Oo, daddys a gaint dragon" for both case they will proceed to touch his scales? And will be all over him trying to climb him to the point he literally has to switch out of dt so they don't get hurt. Also he's a heat source for winter if the heating doesn't get paid for.

If his kid comes out as any of the lgbtq+ he would be supportive and loves them for who they are, I also see him being apart of it too.(I know a few people see him as asexual I do too, as well as bisexual)

Vergil

Look this guy probably has no clue what he's doing, even if we wish he could've taken care of Nero (at least I do) he didn't and now he has another kid to take care

Please help him hold the baby, he can't properly do it at all, he's just holding them by their chest and staring at them with confusion as the child cry, "why won't they stop screaming?"

He will get the hang of taking care of the kid, but please don't leave him alone with them for long he still has no clue what he's doing half the time

"Hey can I hang out with (insert name) at the mall?", "Do I know their mom?", "Uh, no", "Do I know their dad?", "No" Then that settles it, you can't go", "But-", "No buts, if I don't know their parents you can't go, and that's finale"

Can he cook, probably but he's been in hell for most of his life and doesn't know what he's doing half the time. Thank god for cooking shows and book he at least tries a learn how to cook, and doesn't burn anything unlike someone else

He will read the kids William Blake or other bed time stories before bed time, and will do activities where they try to make up poems he has to thank Nero for the idea

Speak of Nero, if Vergil has a mission he will leave his kids with him, he's not trusting Dante at all. Nero absolutely loves his step siblings even if their like a few years younger than him, they will either play with the other kids at the orphanages or play Nero which consist of Video games, sometimes sword fights if they beg long enough, or just talk about the stuff their dad and uncle does that are stupid and make fun of them for it.

Also that one dad to try and help with math homework but makes the kid cry because they don't understand the problem and he's yelling at them "What's 2 x 2?" Its traumatizing please someone tell him to cool it or his kid is going to have problems when it comes to yelling and math, also complains how he didn't learn it that way as a kid, I promise you he was homeschooled.

Now his kids can vent to him but he has no clue what to do nor have much good advice but he will give what he knows even if it's not the best.

This can go many ways, this man know his kid is getting bullied he will go down to the school with the Yamato and threaten someone's life, give his kid the sword for them to deal with it instead, or use some brain cells and deal with it like civil people and we hope he chooses the last one

Now he's a little careful with his devil trigger and doesn't want to scare his kids, but its by accident really and he expects screaming, just like Dante he gets two responses. Regular dt and I'm going off of 4 because I don't think he has one in dmc5, "Dad, why didn't you tell me/us your secretly a bug, don't worry well keep you away from shoes." If its Sin Dt, "Wow, your a dragon this whole time, does this mean I'm also a dragon, where do you keep your stashed gold?", I feel like for his regular dt they will sometimes smack him with a fyswatter and he has to turn out of his sin dt quickly because they want to mess with the fire coming out of him.

If his kids come out as lgbtq+ he will be supportive and a little confused because he has no clue what it is. They have to explain what it means and what their sexuality means, he'll still be supportive and loves his kids no matter what they are

Nero

Out of Vergil and Dante, he's probably the one who knows more about taking care of kids since he grew up with them in an orphanage and takes care of them

I feel he's like a mix between Dante and Vergil, Fun dad but will put his foot down on somethings

If its a girl you bet he will go out to a store at whatever time it is and buy then pad/tampon when their monthly comes no questions asked he just knows. If its a dude he will give the talk, not just protection but what not to do, like when a girl tells him to stop he needs to stop, no advancing on or anything like that (I feel like the no advancing will also go for the girl)

Doesn't do favoritism, he hates that stuff since he technically dealt with it as a kid, if one kid ask why he loves the other more than them he will shut that down quickly and tell them he loves them equally and will move moons for them to both be happy

Best cook hands down, and will let his kids help if they want to but keeps them away from sharp objects. He will also take them out to dinner if he doesn't want to cook

He's decent with homework, and goes about it in a fun learning experience for the both of them, if they get an answer right they get a point that they can trade for something special later kne, if they get it wrong they will go over it again, but still get a point because no favoritism. He also help make a volcano, but also put a little extra pizzazz to it, and might have caused the whole kitchen to be a different color now.

His kids can vent to him, he will understand and try to help give advice for some issues, also takes them out of the house to do something they want to do to cheer them up

He will encourage his kids to follow what they want to do, play a sport? He will show up to every game, even if that means giving Dante his mission he will. A club? He will make sure they have everything they need for that club and be on time for it, be it art, book, yearbook, student council, etc. They want to do boy scout/girl scout, he will make sure he gets them a vest and help put pins on as well. He will be the number one supportive dad

As soon as his kid comes to him crying about how some other kid is bullying them he will be mad, he'll reassuring his kid that they are amazing first, then go to the school, if they don't do anything he will go straight to the parent and make sure that their kid doesn't mess with his anymore.

Will watch anime with them, if they agree that is don't want your dad into your stuff. But like he's absolutely into it, he seems like the person to like Bleach (this was not intentional I complete forgot that the voice actor for Nero also did Ichigo) or Cowboy Bebop. Maybe sailor moon but you won't hear him say it

Look he's really new to the devil trigger business, the only thing close he had was that ghost creature, so keeping this thing in check and not popping up randomly is hard. His kids reaction are, "You hair is longer, are you like rapunzel, oh wait you have wings and a crown your an angel. Oh can I braid your hair please," of course he will let them braide his hair he can't say no to a pouting face, they also will poke his wings to see if their real.

He will definitely support his kid if their aprat of the lgbtq+, will buy them flags, merch, you name it. He want his kid to feel safe and loved

Lady and Trish

Look I can't separate these two, when I first saw them I thought they were girlfriends, and I can't let that go. But these two would definitely be the fun and protective mom

So considering Trish and Lady are both females they definitely have to adopt of course, now Lady may not know if its half demon or full, but Trish does and she probably would help the kid when they get older since she knows about the demon body considering she has one, if its human Lady knows the most about the stuff going on when they get older and has I already planned out.

Now Lady has to be the protective mom because the shit happen with her dad she definitely doesn't want anything bad to happen to their kid, and Trish is like you do you kid if you get hurt you learn from it "its the demon way of raising" she says. Though she still will watch over them and make sure they don't get themselves severely hurt

They will buy their kid anything, and take them out shopping. It's like a spin the wheel of pay to see if they will pay for the stuff or put it under Dante's name for shits and giggles

Lady has to like keep her weapons locked up somewhere safe, unlike Dante, she's more careful with her weapons

If their kid is mad or something Trish will take them to some deserted area with some random stuff she found that isn't in use and have their kid throw it in the air so she can blow it up with her lighting, you know to blow steam off

Trish or Lady tell their kid the stupidest thing Dante has done or said, if they visit Dante please note one will scream if Dante says something about a soul, "I should have been the one to fill your dark soul with Light" and get the voice crack right too, he will look so embarrassed

Now Trish might not know anything about homework she'll support the best she can but Lady knows most of the stuff and will help.

Trish will tell their king everything about Hell, who's in charge, what creatures are there, the history of it all. Its a great learning experience until you tell them that the female demons kill the male after finishing mating

If they are out in public and some guy is hitting on their kid and their tell him no, protective mom mode is on. Mostly Lady has to stop Trish from frying thr guy, but Lady will give the man a price of her mind saying if he tries to do this shit again with her kid he will be going home with a foot straight up his ass. So now no man tries to hit on her

Definitely let the kids go venting to them, they give the best cuddled, some good advice, and shopping if they say someone's bullying them they will see that the parent deals with their kid.

They knew their kid was apart of lgbtq+, of course their supportive of who they are, they are dating of course. They will take them to a pride march in June

Kyrie

Look, LOOK, she is an amazing mom, so caring but also will put her foot down on somethings

Besides Nero she is a good cook and baker, while she doesn't want kids in the kitchen while she's cooking will will have them help with baking sweet

Reads bedtime stories and tucks her kids in and kiss goodnight (ugh my heart hurts I love this)

She will play video games with her kids mostly on the wii, she still the champion on Mario Kart and Just Dance no one has taken their spot yet, even Nero tries

Packs lunch for her kids and puts a note in it telling them that she loves them and hope they have the best day

She does worry about them from time to time when they go over a friends house, only because of what happened to her brother and then Nero she doesn't want anything to happen to her kids

Tells them not to climb the tree in their backyard, what does one of them do, they climb it and accidently falls down. She goes to them saying "You know I told you not to do it, and you did it anyways, you need to be more careful and listen to me. I'm not doing this because I'm being uptight I'm doing this for your safety I want you to be able to do the things you want in the future"

I feel like she's the same way with friends like Vergil, if she doesn't know the parents then you can't go out or over their house

She is really a good listener and help with advice, so venting to her is a really great idea also will ask about your feelings and how your doing someday, like she knows your in a sad mood

She also good with homework, I feel like she wanted to become a teacher as well as study for it, but instead stuck with taking care of orphans, so she probably homeschools her kids too

She also makes the kids clothes time to time, they have little sweaters or shirts that are soft and comfortable

She is so supportive of her kids if they come out lgbtq+, she doesn't care as long as their happy thats all that matters.

Nico

Now I love Nico amazing and pretty girl but don't leave a child with her, just like Dante it will be a disaster, but she probably would try to be a better parent than her since he technically wa this weird freaky man who experimented on demons or was weird.

Let's start with teaching the kid every swear word she knows and tells them to go up to Nero call him one of those names, she will hear her name being screamed and find an angry Nero going over to her as she burst into fits of laughter

Will be extra pair of arms when getting a tool they need for fixing the van, when Nero does understand what a Dohicky is

I think Nico can cook, its decent not bad or good, she did nearly burn the van down from trying to cook turkey.

She will try and cut back on smoking or at least not doing it when the kid is around because its bad for them, Nero scoffs because she nags him when he tells her to stop, but not her kids

Now her kids could bring homework to her, like he's good in math, engineering, and probably biology, but she'll act as if she never even seen the stuff in her life, because she wants to get her learn it and not her just giving them the answer. But if their kid is in a science fair I bet she will help make something totally child friendly(its not really), it kind of gets her and her kid ban from doing anymore science fairs.

She will teach then everything she knows about Demon, mostly the biology of it, and when Nero brings a demon part for his breakers, she goes in explain how she turns them into those.

Will tease her kids if they talk about their crush, she's a huge teaser so saying something about someone they really like or anything its a mistake, she will embarrass them in front of their crush, but she means well

If they try to change the channel of the radio she swats their hand saying the driver picks the music and the passenger has to sit and listen.

If she's busy with something she will let Nero and Kyrie babysit her kids, she trust them and the kids love Nero and Kyrie.

Tries to teach her kids how to drive when their of age to learn, but Nero and Kyrie won't let her considering how she drives and that the instructor is more legal to do it.

No but she will tease her kid a bit if they come out lgbtq+ too, of course she supportive I kind of see her being apart of lgbtq+ as well

*Bonus because it seemed reasonable to just put this one here like this*

Nero, Dante, Vergil, Lady, Trish, Nico

They will teach their kid self defense, and how to use a weapon. While they rather their kids have a normal life instead of a demon hunter for many reasons, they at least want their kid to take care of themselves if they find themselves in a situation where their life is on the line

[mycrofts-gunbrella]

George Weasley x Reader- How Can You Tell?!

Gif not mine :)

Dating one of the biggest pranksters in Wizarding History didn’t mean you were any less likely to be the butt of their jokes- that was something you found out within the first few months of dating George Weasley. You didn’t mind it, if anything you loved that George carried on messing around like that with you rather than being too scared to do it once you got together, but both himself and his brother had been working out their “biggest prank yet” on you. Little did they know their little stunt wouldn’t actually work at all on you.

It started this morning. You had a few days left sleeping at the Burrow before Hogwarts started back up after Christmas break and you’d spent most of the mornings laying in bed with George- simply cuddling, talking or uh.. other things- but this morning he ran out of the bedroom almost the second his eyes opened. You sat up confused and just started fixing your hair, wondering what on Earth your boyfriend was up to this time. Minutes later, Fred came bolting in the room wearing George’s pyjamas and holding out a tray towards you, leaving you even more confused.

“Mornin’ darling. Fancy some toast?” He asked as he hopped in the bed under the covers next to you. You stared at him with an eyebrow raised.

“Fred.. not that I don’t love you or anything but why are you here? And in George’s clothes?” You asked, slowly taking a bite of toast.

“What are you talking about? Hit your head on the headboard too hard last night did you? I’ll take it easier next time, promise.” He winked, shuffling closer to you.

“So you’re not Fred? This person sitting right in front of me isn’t Fred? It’s George?” You spoke, catching on to their little trick.

“We’ve been together almost a year and you still can’t tell the difference between us? I’m heartbroken, honestly.” He placed his hand on his chest and shuffled back away from you.

“Sorry Georgie, I was just so sure you were Fred.” You played along. “But if you truly are my wonderful boyfriend you’d be more than happy to kiss me right?” You said, watching as panic went through his eyes before he spoke.

“That can definitely be arranged.”

“Too far Freddie. Get your slimy lips away from her you perv.” George exclaimed walking in the room.

“We almost had her then you twerp.” Fred argued back, getting out of the bed and heading towards the door.

“You honestly didn’t Fred. Not even close.” You laughed, pulling your actual boyfriend back into bed.

“Might have worked if you didn’t improvise Fred. Where did that headboard crap come from anyway?” George questioned, taking a bite out of your other slice of toast.

“Come up with it? George we can all bloody hear it. I’m counting down the days til Hogwarts to finally get some sodding sleep.” Your cheeks burnt at the idea of the rest of the Burrow listening in to yours and George’s rendezvous and George choked back on his toast. “We’ll definitely get you at some point Y/N, even if it kills us.” Were Fred’s last words as he left the two of you alone again in the bedroom.

“How did you know it was Fred?” George asked, finishing off the other slice of toast as you offered it to him.

“George I fell in love with you, not your brother so it’s obvious to me.. besides, you’d never promise to take it easier on me next time.” It was your turn to wink now as you got up and changed. “Meet you downstairs. At least I hope it’s going to be you.” You grinned, turning to shut the door. Fred walked back in moments later to talk with his brother.

“We’re going to have to up the antics Freddie.”

“That we are brother. Christ, she can tell us apart better than our own mother.”

The last few days of the holidays went fast as you soon found yourself back on your way to King’s Cross Station. As usual, you’d finished packing your bags a lot sooner than the boys and was waiting outside for them. You had to quickly hide the smirk that appeared on your face as you noticed them come out with each other’s baggage, even going to the extent to swap over their F and G Jumpers. You thought you’d give them their fun a little longer this time and played along. As the Christmas holidays were shorter you’d all left the majority of your belongings in your dorms, leaving only a small bag of clothes for you each to carry in. Soon enough, Fred walked up to you to play out the normal routine you had with George.

“Ready?” Fred kissed the corner of your mouth and offered his spare arm out to you. They were getting better, you’d give them that. You may have almost believed them if George’s eyes didn’t glare at Fred after the kiss- they’d clearly arranged a cheek kiss, you thought. Typical Fred and his devotion to the game.

“Ready.” You beamed, wrapping your arm around Fred’s and setting off on the journey to King’s Cross. It didn’t take you long but holding your best friend’s hand rather than your boyfriend’s made it seem a little longer.

The boys didn’t let off once you got on the train either but you wanted to talk to the real George, at least until they next thought up a new way to trick you. You all sat in the carriage and you turned to the twin who had started to make himself comfortable wrapping his arm around your shoulders and discussing the pranks they had lined up for the next few weeks, about to end their little game once again.

“Whilst I am quite comfortable and thoroughly enjoyed the kindness you showed to me holding my arm on the journey here, is it possible I could go and sit with my boyfriend now?” You asked casually, watching as Fred’s face dropped and he took his arm away from behind you. You jumped up and moved next to George, kissing the frown that had formed on his face and laying your head on his shoulder.

“Bugger. What gave it away this time?” Fred asked, pouting childishly and crossing his arms. He couldn’t keep the straight face for long before laughing. “Literally nobody can tell us apart. That’s our thing.”

“I’ve been able to tell you apart from the start. Plus George is more attractive, sorry.” You teased.

“Y/N we literally have the same face.” Fred answered.

“No no Freddie, you heard the lovely lady. I’m more attractive.” George grinned, kissing the top of your head. “It’s because you left the womb too soon, underdeveloped you see. Those few extra minutes really did wonders on my complexion.”

You laughed and watched on as the two boys bickered the rest of the journey to the castle. Maybe they’d give it one more shot before they realised how obvious it was to you..

A few weeks had passed at Hogwarts, the regular schedule almost making you forget about the boys’ little scheme to make you confuse the pair despite your assurance it would never happen. As a (Your House) Prefect, it was your duty to take watch tonight to make sure there were no students out of bed after curfew. The last thing you expected on your walk tonight was a pair of arms dragging you into an empty storage cupboard with their hand on your mouth. It was pitch black and you went to scream but the hand muffled it.

“Shhhh darling, it’s me. You always say you want a bit more spontaneity in our relationship so here I am, being spontaneous.” Here it was, attempt three; that wasn’t George’s voice. Suddenly one of his hands were on your waist and the other on your cheek, his face came close and you felt his breath on your cheek. “So. You, me, this dark storage cupboard, the thought of getting caught.. sounds fun, don’t you think?”

You leaned up and moved to his ear, your lips ghosting his skin before you spoke. “Sounds very fun, but I have to admit I’d rather do it with my boyfriend.” Suddenly his hands came off your body completely and he opened the cupboard again for you both to step out.

“Good news Georgie, she’s definitely in love with you.” He called out and you watched as your boyfriend rounded the corner. “It’s pitch bloody black in there and she knew it was me.”

“Of course I’m in love with him, why wouldn’t I be?” You laughed a little and walked towards George.

“Well George over here was getting panicky that you didn’t know the difference between us and might pull your moves on this walking piece of sex without realising.” He referred to himself by dramatically pointing up and down his body. “Honestly I didn’t think you could do it, I’m impressed. Our own mum struggles.” He walked past and clapped George on the shoulder. “Well done brother, got yourself a special one. Now let’s get back before Y/N takes points away from Gryffindor.” He finished.

“I’ll catch up in a minute.” George answered, turning his attention towards you. “Sorry, I don’t know what Fred subjected you to in there.” He scratched the back of his neck clearly embarrassed over how far him and his brother had gone for this.

“It’s fine. You know you could have just spoken to me about it, I could quite happily sit there and tell you all the reasons I love you and could never confuse you with Fred.” You offered, smiling. He smiled back, relieved that you weren’t angry.

“An ego stroke never hurt every now and then.” He joked before turning back round to see his brother. “Anyway, better get back, I’ll see you tomorrow?” You leaned up and wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him in for a kiss before moving to whisper in his ear.

“I’m on duty tomorrow night too.. the cupboard definitely was your idea and I’m more than happy to oblige if you meet me here again. But just you this time.” You spoke. A grin broke out on his face and he laughed.

“Wow and you’re a respectable person in this school? A prefect telling me to break curfew for some fonduing? Outrageous behaviour...” He teased. “But you’re lucky I’m just as outrageous. You’re on.” And with that he pecked your lips and left.

You never knew how you ended up lucky enough to get George Weasley to be yours but you hoped to any God out there that it would never have to end.

Bonus Ending that doesn’t technically fit the time sequence but felt necessary....

“Oh and boys?!” You called out to them just before they disappeared into the corridor. They both turned on their heels to look at you. “Whilst, as I’ve said, I can point out so many differences between the two of you the pair of you have forgotten a big difference between you.” You began, watching as they looked at you in confusion. “I’ll tell you tomorrow, you won’t believe me when you EAR it.” You finished, walking back in the other direction laughing to yourself.

“George you bloody idiot you only have one bloody ear.”

“I’m the idiot? You look at me more than I look at me.”

“How do you forget losing a sodding ear?!”

“The trauma Freddie. I blocked it away.”

“You’re gonna have some more trauma to block away when I finish with you.” And with that their childish fighting continued until McGonagall heard the commotion and sent them back to their dorms.

(Let me know if you want a part two in the cupboard 😉)

[missdrarrydawn]

------------ Occupy My Heart ------------

Draco Malfoy x fem!Reader

warning: implied smut, brief mentions of drinking

~~~

written for the lovely @leydileyla who offered me this absolute gem of a prompt that I simply couldn't pass up

hope you enjoy hon :DD

~~~

You were really starting to feel the buzz of the Butterbeers a few hours into the Interhouse party that was thrown for all the returning eighth years. You're such a horrible lightweight, Butterbeer is just vaguely alcoholic, if at all. It warmed you up and left a pleasant tingle in its wake. Just enough to let the music and lights around you blur and blend, to ripple against your skin and soothe. The smell of the ale cookies served at various tables scattered around the one conjoined common room for all the Houses now wafted through the thick, cloying air, between meandering bodies of various dancing students, all the scents making your head spin from where you were sitting at the little makeshift bar.

The party's been wilding on way past curfew but no teachers arrived to interrupt you yet so it was fair game. Everything felt so liquid and pleasant, the atmosphere sticking to your slick skin, the warmth and haze prickling at the back of your neck.

Gods you needed a shower. Perhaps you might sneak away to have a quick one? The party showed no signs of slowing down and you were drained.

As you pushed away from the bar, colors still swimming before your eyes from all the sparkle and decorative banners strung up everywhere, you felt a shiver run down your spine.

You felt eyes on you.

Turning about to find the possible culprit, you registered a flash of platinum blonde hair in a darkened corner and the piercing glow of silver eyes lingering on you.

Draco.

A chuckle rumbled from your chest as you allowed yourself a moment to revel in his gaze before melding into the throng of people, sliding between them, trying to remember whether your dorm was the door on the left or the right upstairs. It wouldn't do to barge into someone else's dormroom.

As you made your way along you still felt pins and needles in your back, as if someone was keeping pace with you. Goodness, that was incredibly paranoid, wasn't it? You vowed to yourself to never drink Butterbeer again. Even slightly tipsy you were a disaster.

Finally you got through everyone and into the quieter part of the room, where all the dorms were. There were only a few people milling about there, stumbling off to their rooms with whoever they pulled or to retch or simply pass out.

The beat of the music was muffled here, no longer a steady, beating ebb flowing through your skull, now more resembling a foggy memory. It was easier to think, to breathe. You've never been much of a party animal, but this one was important. It celebrated unity and the war being over, it celebrated those who lived and fought. It mattered to attend. After Hogwarts rebuilt and reopened, the first thing that changed was the system of the four houses, headmistress McGonagall had dismantled it entirely after witnessing how horrific segregation could be.

Everyone was thrown in one mixing pot, which had been strange at first, but throwing a party like this really helped scrub out the imaginary lines in the sand everyone had drawn between themselves.

Speaking of scrubbing, you finally arrived to your dorm and basically collapsed through the door in your quest for a shower. Where was the bathroom door again? Ah right, over there, of course.

You slipped through, the bright Lumos having you squint for a second while your eyes adjusted from the dim haze of downstairs to the sparkling clean of tile.

Right. You closed the door behind you and began to undress, your clothes peeling away from the sweat plastered all over you from all the vigorous dancing you'd done.

As you kicked off your shoes and set your bare feet on the cold floor, a distinct icy chill ran up your legs and through the rest of you, shivering away the brittle buzz you'd worked up, cooling you down.

Once your clothes were a discarded pile on the floor, you stepped into the shower and pulled the fogged glass door shut, fiddling with the taps before a spray of warm water finally hit your face and shoulders.

What a relief.

You began to scrub and lather yourself up, cleaning off the night with the water sluicing down your skin, your mind starting to wander as you relaxed into the moment more. Warm showers were a treasure.

Draco was staring at you back there. For a brief second you made eye contact before you left. Did that mean something? You felt silly for wanting to know but that boy has occupied the vacant spaces of your heart for far too long now, and you couldn't help but hope that his intense, focused gaze meant something more.

As you began washing your hair, a knock on the door startled you out of your skin. You almost poured shampoo into your eyes for heaven's sake!

"Um—occupied?" you yelled out, hoping to be heard over the gush of water. If someone needed the bathroom urgently then they could come in to use it, it's not as if anyone would see you in your birthday suit, but if it wasn't urgent then they could find another one.

"Ahh, Y/N, it's—uh, it's me! I was just wondering if you were okay?" a familiar voice from the other side of the door spoke up.

You knew that voice. It was so familiar. Who—

You felt every bit of you freeze as your brain spat out the answer for you.

Draco. It was Draco.

Checking up on you.

What should you do now? Your heart began hammering away quicker, this was hardly the time or place to flirt or attempt seduction and—

Well. As you considered the statement that just flittered through your mind you found it not entirely true.

You were naked after all, naked and wet. What more perfect scenario for seduction did there exist?

"I'm okay Draco, um—you can come in?" you yelled back, lips stretching into a smile. Technically he shouldn't be here at all, seeing as these were girls quarters and all, but if he's been invited it shouldn't be too much of an issue. If he accepted, that was.

There was silence for a few beats, the moment dragging on, you almost thought you'd scared him off, but then—

The soft, distinct click of the door being opened and shut.

Bingo.

Now, how exactly would you do this? You supposed you could ask him to get you a towel when you were done, and let him have a glimpse.

Merlin it sounded corny as all fuck, but you were prepared to do what it takes.

Until then though, you supposed you should talk about anything, keep the atmosphere up.

You could just barely make out his tall, foggy outline through the sliding glass of the shower, and you watched him move to sit down on the toilet seat.

Wait a second—if you could partly see him, did that mean he could partly see you too?

That was even more perfect.

"Hi Draco, you like the party?" you threw out the question casually, hoping to lessen the strangeness of the situation. You and him were friends, well, acquaintances more so, so it's not as if you've never spoken berore, but still. This was way different from any interaction youve had prior. "Thank you for checking up on me."

"Ahh ahem—no problem Y/N, you seemed a little tipsy back there so I uh—I thought you might—Well yea." he stumbled through his words, hardly even finishing the sentence properly.

That was—quite uncharacteristic of Draco Malfoy. He was always the one with the silver tongue, the sharp remark, had a comment to spare for anything, and to hear him stutter and hiccup his way through speaking as if he were a nervous school girl talking to her crush was very new and strange.

You'd be lying if you said it wasn't endearing as all hell though.

You could have a lot of fun with this.

"I see I see. I did build a bit of a buzz but nowhere near as bad as some of the other characters around this place. I mean, did you see Zabini strip his shirt off and then dance on the tables? Goodness." you simply continued along, as if this were a casual conversation and you weren't naked and washing out your hair.

"Haha, yeah, yes, Blaise will have one hell of a hangover tomorrow." Draco chuckled, though it sounded breathy and rough, somehow.

You were almost done now.

"Parvati will too, say, could you brew a vial of that potion of yours, for hangovers, for her? She's my roommate and I loathe to hear her whining tomorrow. You're the best at it, after all." You let your voice linger above the spray.

This time, Draco audibly spluttered and you saw a flurry of blurred movement, which eased a laugh past your lips.

"Um—yea, of—of course. I can do that. Um, Y/N isn't this—I don't know, a little strange?"

He sounded so thoroughly flustered, which really got you hoping. The stares, checking up on you, doing you favors, getting flustered by the situation, hm.

Hm.

It was worth a shot anyhow, right?

Time for a new plan.

Another chuckle rattled through your ribs. This was insane.

You grabbed the handle of the door and slid it open just enough to lean your head through. You could finally get a good look at him. He was sitting on the toilet seet, his entire face splotched and flushed all down his neck, wringing his hands and bouncing his leg.

When he heard you slide the door open he turned his head abruptly and you heard his breath hitch as he got a look at your face and shoulder sticking out, his eyes sliding from your eyes to your lips, lower still, to your neck and collarbones and—then he remembered himself and turned away abruptly.

"I'm sorry! Oh Merlin, are you—are you done? Do you uh—need a towel or—?" He began to ramble all in one breath and you just continued smiling fondly at his turned back.

"Oh Draco, won't you come in here with me already?"

You held out your hand and patiently waited. You could imagine this would be quite a fallout.

Draco stood completely still when the words left your mouth. One minute, two minutes, three—

The water drying on your skin while more sprayed down had gooseflesh rising all over you. Still, you waited.

"Um—what?" Draco whimpered eventually, voice giving out on him at the end there.

"You heard me." you assurred him.

The hum of running water was the only sound bouncing off the walls again, the very faintest echo of music from downstairs lilting through the closed door.

Draco turned to face you again, he looked wrecked. Eyes wide and dark, his pupils basically swallowing the silver irises, hair disheveled, breath coming in gentle pants.

"You want—?" he mumbled, his voice betraying his own hope and eagerness.

"Yes. For a while." your own smile widened, and for a second a pang of anxiety struck you as you realized he was about to see you naked, but it all dissipated into pooling heat and want as you watched him slowly reach for the first button of his mint green button up shirt and slide it loose. His wide eyes never left yours and you watched the slight tremor in his fingertips as he freed every button, one by one, until his shirt opened and slid off his shoulders, fluttering to the floor.

God he's delicious. All lean, well defined Seeker's physique, the pale marble of his skin an endless expanse. You let your eyes wander, drink in the sight, slide across his chest and lower, over his taut abdomen, hanging up on the waistband of his pants. An outline pushed against the seams there, your mouth watering at the visible bulge.

"Me too." he mumbled, as if you needed any more proof or reassurance of his desire, his hand slowly reaching for his zipper now.

Oh what a lovely party it's been indeed and it was about to get so much better.

~~~

Fin.

[bananasofthorns]

I posted 32,144 times in 2022

That's 6,168 more posts than 2021!

183 posts created (1%)

31,961 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@harley-the-pancake

@theminecraftbee

@tragicfaggots

@hira-a

@yb-cringe

I tagged 2,634 of my posts in 2022

#reblogging again - 185 posts

#banana made a post - 178 posts

#banana answers things - 81 posts

#double life spoilers - 76 posts

#trafficshipping - 59 posts

#hermitshipping - 53 posts

#dlshipping - 38 posts

#banana writes things - 37 posts

#cr spoilers - 34 posts

#unreality - 33 posts

Longest Tag: 127 characters

#joel: things are boring because i don't think the demon is real so i'm gonna make a rap battle against fwhip because it's funny

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4

This is stupid, Joel decides. It’s about the fifth time in less than three days that he’s gone to say something to Etho only to realize that, for obvious reasons, Etho isn’t there.

He’s not sure why he’s so affected by Double Life when the previous games didn’t really get to him at all. Then again, he never really had a solid alliance those times. And he definitely didn’t have a soulmate. But still. He was perfectly happy to move on with his life as if nothing monumental had happened, thank you very much.

Even so, he is sometimes capable of not ignoring his problems and realizing when he’s being ridiculous, and this is one of those times. Seriously, he was perfectly fine without Etho before this. Gods - is that a thing he can say, still? If he, technically, is a god?

That’s a question for another time, he decides. The point is that he was fine without Etho before, and so he should definitely be fine without him now, even if it’s only been a few days. Maybe if he actually talks to Etho he’ll be better at adjusting, or whatever. Coping. Does he need to cope? 

He flicks up his comm interface and opens his contacts, only to pause. He doesn’t have Etho’s contact; it was automatically programmed into his comm during Double Life, but contact information doesn’t transfer between worlds unless he purposefully saves it, and he didn’t exactly think he’d be missing Etho like some— some abandoned puppy, or something, while Double Life was going on. So much for that plan. Maybe he can get Grian or Scar or someone to give him Etho’s contact next time they see each other during MCC.

He frowns. That seems too— personal, somehow? Too close to home? For some reason, he feels like it would be weird to ask any of the Hermits who were in Double Life for Etho’s contact. Like they’ll know too much, or something. But who else can he ask? He doesn’t really talk to any of the other Hermits unless they’re on a world together, and—

Oh, he’s an idiot. He literally traded with Gem, like, yesterday. How did he forget that?

“Goodness gracious,” he mutters under his breath.

He’s about to jump off the island and fly over before remembering that he should maybe check to see if she’s even home, just so that he doesn’t look like an idiot by showing up only to realize she’s halfway across the world or something.

Smallishbeans whispered to GeminiTay: Gem Smallishbeans whispered to GeminiTay: are you home?

Luckily, it doesn’t take her very long to respond, so he isn’t left standing on the edge of his island like an idiot.

GeminiTay whispered to Smallishbeans: yeah what’s up

Smallishbeans whispered to GeminiTay: can I come by real quick?

GeminiTay whispered to Smallishbeans: sure! I’m just doing some building

Smallishbeans whispered to GeminiTay: be right there

It doesn’t take him long to make the flight. Gem is waiting for him when he lands; she greets him with a bright smile and a wave that he returns, though his is somewhat awkward because the last time he was here he was giving her bees to prevent some sort of international dispute. Luckily, she doesn’t seem to hold that against him.

“Hey, Joel! What’s up?”

Joel clears his throat. Gem barely reaches up to his waist right now, since he’s 11 feet tall and all that, and something about the height difference feels like it’s offending her more than he’s ever felt like he’s offended any other empire. He sits down cross-legged just off the path. Gem laughs.

“You didn’t have to do that.”

“Yeah, but I feel weird, otherwise. Anyway, I have...kind of an odd question...? For you?”

“Hit me.” She pauses. “Not literally. What’s your question?”

“Do you happen to have Etho’s contact?”

To her credit, she barely pauses. “Hm. I can check, but I don’t think I ever saved it to my communicator, sorry. You could go ask False, maybe? She’s known him a lot longer than I have.”

Damn. “No, that’s fine. Uh, would you mind passing on a message, though? Next time you’re on Hermitcraft.”

“Sure! What do you want me to say? We can write it down or something, that would make it a lot easier, because then I wouldn’t have to remember it or anything.” She hesitates, watching Joel with a scrutinizing look in her eye that he’s not sure he likes. “And I won’t look at it, if you don’t want me to.”

He makes a face. “It’s not gonna be anything bad.”

“I know! But, like— privacy’s important, you know, Joel. I respect that.”

He chuckles. “Thanks, Gem.”

Somehow, he always forgets how genuinely nice she is. Maybe it’s because he’s intimidated by her.

See the full post

632 notes - Posted July 30, 2022

#4

I’m working on a presentation for a powerpoint night and. it’s been a month. it’s been an entire month since the Moon Big finale. it’s only been a month since the moon big finale,

769 notes - Posted January 22, 2022

#3

MARTYN FIRST WIN! AND ALSO JOEL SAID FUCK! his career is over gg

851 notes - Posted July 23, 2022

#2

omg tommyinnit my favorite streamer

904 notes - Posted June 23, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

listen grian. nobody touches my bush, you're Done. it all started when grian touched my redstone, he played himself li-li-like a xylophone set on automatic, doc monster is a savage, with technical skills and crazy vocal acrobatics i'm a legend of the nho with etho beef and double o doc mc is coming for you sevenfold we got rendog another fireman to douse the flames that they shoot at this leviathan iskall can try again

you think i'm in hidin i'm just bidin my time, puttin pen to paper comin up with rhymes yeah we're a star studded group that got together just to crush you once we start somethin you know we're gonna see it through i'm the knight the soldier who brings the fight at first light y'all had to incite so now i gotta indict you're guilty of gettin murdered with words, y'all are out gunned, go home Nerds (woo-hoo!)

hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang

if you think you can stop the symmetry that's false, g-team is dialling for help but i'm ignoring their calls and when their bodies dissolve you'll know that false is on a killin spree, try to stop my pvp and perish painfully. i'm the queen of hearts heads and body parts, your diamond armor can't compare to my martial arts i'll send a poison dart to make you breathe your final breathe, g-team's name will be the only thing left

caffeinated animated redstone innovator my behavior's crazy can't blame me, impulse is never lazy tango why did you betray me (what?) now my scope is aiming better run from cover from all the ghast balls that i be taming, without a sound without no hesitation my creations are amazing better watch your step or the g-team will end up blazing, who's the better team? there is no controversy but before it's said and done y'all be BEGGIN us for mercy (alright!)

hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang 

X gon give it to ya! i'm gon give it to ya! X gon give it to ya (whaaaaaaaat?) lyrical boxing dropping blows on all my foes and the g-team they're looking unclean needed some sunscreen, burnt my words to hurt this herd of nerds it's absurd how my rhymes got them injured, danger danger! i got lasers to cut em up like razors, it's flexing season and i've got flavor, no weak defenses like trenches and benches that these dense heads are presentin

(they're presentin em alright. they're not very good, i could walk over that, i could i could jump over that. use an ender pearl, my elytra, come on g team, geez)

hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang

now i'm back got some things i wanna say. what's the letter that starts the alphabet (A!) ladies get in like the diggity be on the way (skrt!) cleo don't know who she's freakin with! all the lines say to notify her next of kin this diggity dog be droppin bombs nothin but hits, spit that rhyme again (brrt!) cause the message is i can mumble rap and still be the best there is

hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang hermit gang

oh, you wanted me to do a verse? i'd have to check with g-team-- i mean, i'd have to check my. schedule. to see if i'm able to do that. (oh, oh, oh, bananas, oh, oh oh, bananas. oh oh oh bananas oh oh oh bananas, oh, oh, oh, bananas)

i really don't think it's best for me to even be a part of this song

9,376 notes - Posted March 16, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[blkgojo]

Game On | Chapter 1

Valkyrie x Reader x Carol Danvers

In which, drunk!you thinks sending nudes to the King of Asgard and the most powerful Avenger... is a good idea.

Warnings: None

Here's the thing. Sending Valkyrie your nudes was an accident. Legally speaking, the nudes were meant for Carol. If you wanted to get even more technical, you weren't even supposed to text either one of them unless there was an emergency. You hadn't realized it at first. You curled up next to your cat, practically smug with your boldness. What better way to show you're available, you thought. You had checked your phone again to revel in it only to see the photo had not only been sent to Carol. It was there, right under Valkyrie's name. Wish you were here x.

You were well and truly fucked.

Working as a S.W.O.R.D agent meant few privileges. One of those privileges you had abused. Greatly. You had sent lewd photos to not only an Avenger, but the King of Asgard. Strong 10000 year old alcohol be damned, Fury wouldn't accept that as an excuse.

"You gonna tell me what's up or we just gonna sit here?" Darcy asked. Your roommate munched absentmindedly on a piece of chocolate. She was blessed enough to not have drank the ale. The buzz of it still causing your world to sway even as you began to sober up.

"I sent nudes to someone,” you whined.

She smiled. Patted your thigh. “That's okay, Y/N. We all send nudes sometimes."

“No you don’t get it. I sent them to the Asgardian king.”

“Thor has a phone?”

“No. Valkyrie.”

You can see she's trying her best not to laugh.

“It’s not funny.”

“You’re gonna start an intergalactic war.”

“Fuck off.”

“Fury’s gonna be pissed.”

“Don’t tell him!” Your words dissolved into drunken hiccups. You sloppily tried to take another sip of the ale, but Darcy snatched it. You frowned. “Do you… do you think she read it?”

“She doesn’t have read receipts? An IPhone?”

“No, I think she has an Android.”

Darcy  quietly tittered, mulling the information over. “Who did you even mean to send nudes to?”

"Don't freak out.”

“Y/N.”

“Say you won’t freak out.”

“Just tell me!”

“Darcy!”

“Spit it out!”

“Captain Marvel,” you hesitantly answered. 

Darcy shrugged. “Well, at least you didn’t send it to her, too.”

“No I did.”

One.

Two.

She laughed. "I'm sorry," she said between breathes. "I'm sorry. This is just... you're fucked."

To her credit, she tried to stop laughing. It doesn't work, but she tried. A few minutes past before she finally can speak again - tears having long since stained her face. She wiped them and took a deep breathe.

"You could just text them something like, 'Oh my god. I'm so sorry. This wasn't meant for you," she offered.

"I could." You nodded. "Yeah. Yeah, I could do that."

You picked up your phone, ready to send another message. In your hands, it vibrated.

​---

Carol hated texting. Sometimes, she thought maybe that was why her and Thor were so close. She was traveling the galaxy. He was traveling the galaxy. She hated texting. He didn’t have a phone. She preferred communication the old fashion way like through hologram or sheer word of mouth.

She checked her phone as soon as she received the message and now it was waiting on the countertop of the bar face down.

“If someone sent me a picture, I would’ve been all over that,” Rocket burped.

“That’s not what she needs to hear right now, Rocket,” Thor turned to her. “So what are we doing here? Are you going to respond or…”

“I responded,” she said. And she had.

She said word for word, ‘Oh is this an emergency?’

You had sent the photos when she was on some off time with Thor. They all had just gotten back from a mission liberating refugees from a wannabe empire. She had been ready to dash back to Earth when she saw your name light up her phone screen. When she opened the message… completely different story.

Thor scrunched up his nose and shrugged.

“What?” asked Carol.

“If I sent promiscuous photos to a potential love interest, I would want a bit more…” He gestured to the air.

Carol scrunched her brows. “You would want what?”

“I don’t know. Romance?”

Rocket slammed his beer on the table. “Send them a tongue emoji.”

“I don’t like texting. Why couldn’t they just,” she threw up her hands. “I don’t know. Send a hologram.”

“Look. Forget everything else. Do you wanna get laid or not?” demanded Rocket.

Carol cocked her head to the side and begrudgingly nodded. “Then stop dicking around. It’s annoying. Some of us haven’t got laid in years and you’re over here squandering your opportunities.”

“So what? I travel a billion light years away for sex?”

Before Thor can interject, Rocket growled. “You can breathe in space. Going to Earth for you is like me or Thor here going to the bathroom.”

Carol sighed. “The raccoon has a point.”

“Fuck you.”

----

“C’mon Valkyrie. Just once.”

“I will not play Fortnite with you.”

Korg frowned or she assumed he did. It was always hard to tell. “But-”

“No.”

Her phone had long since vibrated in her pocket. A fact that she had chosen to ignore. The Midgardians seemed to always have issues. Even on Sundays which were supposed to be her self-care days. She picked it up, ready to see some frantic message about one crisis or another. The sky is falling. Nuclear weapons. Blah blah blah.

“Oh.” She nearly dropped it.

“What is it?” Korg peered over her shoulder. “It seems like someone sent you a gift.”

There were two photos with the caption ‘wish you were here x’. It was simple enough. Valkyrie tried to remember the last conversation she had with you. Had you been flirting? It was last Tuesday when she had been discussing global affairs with the other world leaders. You had been there, but in between all of the political nonsense, it was hard to figure it all out.

Korg was still peering over her shoulder. Valkyrie quirked her brow at him.

“Sorry.” He went back to his game. “Are you going to respond to Y/N? I like them. Gave me some good rocks once.”

“Rocks?”

“Yeah, I think they thought I eat them. Not their fault. My mum’s boyfriend used to think the same thing. I use them to decorate me flower garden, though.”

Valkyrie nodded and took a sip of her beer. “Should I respond?”

“You should do what your heart tells you.” He sighed. “Sorry. I’ve been watching a lot of them Disney movies. Have you seen the one with the girl on the islands?”

“No, I don’t think I’ve seen that one.”

“It’s good. She sings.”

Valkyrie took another swig of her beer, typing out a response to your photos.

‘This is way better than what I was expecting.’ And waited.

----

"She's annoying."

"I mean, she is right."

"Seriously?"

"What?" Darcy hesitantly took a sip of Thor's alcohol. "I think it's a valid question. Is it an emergency?"

"It is," you half-questioned.

"Is it?"

"It is," you said with more force.

"Then, say that," Darcy took another sip. "This shit really hits you. I get why..." She burped.

Right after you hit send, another message came through. Valkyrie.

"Well," you begin. "Valkyrie appreciated it."

"Of course she did." When you stared at her, Darcy shrugged. "She seems like really chill. Stared at your ass in one of our meetings."

"She did? When?"

"I don't know. It was like, so far ago."

"She said it was way better than what she was expecting."

"So, she wants you."

"Yeah," you said slowly. The King of Asgard wanted you. Wanted more of you. You reread the message. "I'm gonna flirt back."

Darcy nodded, taking another small sip of the ale.

I guess I should've done this sooner, you texted back.

Her response was immediate.  We’ll have to make up for lost time.

"Valkyrie's so hot," you whispered.

Just then, Carol responded. And what would you like me to do about this emergency?

You walked over to the counter and grabbed the bottle, taking a tiny sip of the alcohol. Just enough to give you a boost of confidence. You spared a glance at your friend. Her alcohol tolerance was higher than yours and yet, her cheeks were already pink. She nodded at the bottle, her eyebrows raised slightly.

"You look ah, flustered."

"You look drunk."

She held one finger up, wobbly walked herself to the couch. "Touche."

There was no reason you couldn't have fun, right? They didn't know that you had texted them both. No one knew save for Darcy and she could keep a secret. You could have fun with this. They both wanted you - honestly, you should take advantage of this opportunity. What was that phrase people loved saying? Live life or whatever the fuck.

"Yeah," Darcy cheered.

You hadn't realized you'd been talking out loud.

To Valkyrie, you send: When can we get started?

You took a deep breathe before texting Carol. Your fingers hovered over the send button for minutes longer than necessary.

I'd like you to fuck me, you sent back.

Game on.

[cheeriecherry]

hi!! how are you? can you write for baku, deku, & todo where they meet their s/o family for the first time & they’re super scary? they’re all super tall, buff, full of tattoos, loud, aggressive, mean & the fam is super overprotective over s/o & the 3 are just freaking out bc s/o is the opposite? s/o is super sweet, calm, bubbly & short so the last thing they were expecting was this & they’re just freaking out & trying to get on their s/o’s family good side? sorry if that sounds complicated 😭

The more specific the ask, the better! I’ll see what my brain can come up with, I’ve just had couch medicine so

Requests are temporarily closed so I can catch up on them!

BAKUGOU KATSUKI

-Loud boi isn’t gonna let anyone know that he’s intimidated.

-He’s already a little nervous to meet your family for the first time, though he’d never admit it. You were so hesitant to ask him to come over, and at first he thought it was because he was the loud and aggressive one.

-But that Saturday afternoon when he walks up to your house and your dad answers the door, he’s like ‘oh’ and it all clicks into place.

-He loves you a lot, so he wants to make a good impression, but he also never backs down from a challenge. So he and your dad have a stare down in the doorway, until you stroll around the corner and see them.

-You scold your dad and tell him to stop being rude to your boyfriend. Your dad doesn’t say anything, but he sighs and lets Bakugou in.

-The fun doesn’t stop there, though. You tug Bakugou around the house from room to room introducing him to your family, and every single one of them gives him the same cold, mildly threatening stare.

-Ngl your uncle who lives in the basement apartment kinda scares him, but he doesn’t say anything and tries to play it cool. The guy is built like a brick house and covered head to toe in intricate tattoos.

-He doesn’t mention it, but you can tell that your boyfriend is wondering about potential ties you have to the mafia, with a guy like that living in your house. But you assure him it’s just your uncle’s quirk that gives him the art on his skin, and that he’s actually pretty shy about it and doesn’t like going out.

-The last person he meets is your mom. With everyone being so much taller and physically stronger than you, he assumes that your mom is gonna be the person you got your tiny genes from.

-Lol no

-She’s at least six feet tall, and without a doubt the most intimidating person in the house. She’s got the face of an angel and the grace of a butterfly, but behind her smile Bakugou can see the willingness to kill anyone who hurts her baby (you).

-Lunch with the fam is a little awkward at first, until your younger cousin goads Bakugou into a spice eating contest. Then the shouting at the table begins, everyone placing their bets on who they think will win. You’re the only one who bets on your boyfriend, and you get like a hundred collective bucks out of your family members when he wins.

-He’s earned the respect of your cousin, who’s like eight maybe and now deems Bakugou a respectable opponent. Bakugou is torn between yelling and patting the kid on the head, so he probably does both and shouts at the kid to keep practicing so they can try and beat him one day.

-At the end of the visit, your boyfriend is surprisingly calm. You’re walking him home, arm in arm, not really saying much. Though you do tell him that he’s taking your living situation pretty well.

-He’s like wdym? And you explain to him that most of your friends and potential partners are scared of your family and refuse to come over because of them.

-Bakugou just scoffs and is like ‘of course they are, because they’re chicken shits. As if I’d be scared of a bunch of-’ and he pauses because you start laughing, not at him, just about the situation.

-Your family actually really likes him and find him a suitable boyfriend for you. They know you’re strong, but they want someone who can protect you and who’s loyal to you, and they see that in Bakugou. They probably invite him to the next family gathering.

MIDORIYA IZUKU

-A nervous boi

-He wants so badly to make a good impression on your family, to get their approval of your relationship. He knows you’re close with them, so he doesn’t want their potential opinions of him to sway your desire to be with him.

-He dresses casually but tidy, and while he waits at the door he fiddles with his shirt a bit.

-Almost has a heart attack when your sister opens the door and glares down at him with the rage of 1000 suns.

-He does his best to introduce himself formally and be polite, but your sister is making it awfully hard for him to stay focused. She doesn’t say anything to him, so he just continues chattering until he’s off on a tangent and saying way too much.

-And you’re like ‘I feel my boyfriend danger senses tingling’ so you go downstairs and lo and behold. 

-Ofc he’s not in any actual danger, just the danger of making a fool of himself. You set a hand on your sister’s arm, and the moment you do it’s like all the anger in her body dissipates and she turns into a sweet, smiling bean. Then she skips away to go do her homework.

-You pull Midoriya inside and give him a once-over anyways, just to make sure your sister didn’t burn holes in him with her glares. But he assures you he’s alright, and he’s a lot more relaxed now that you’re around.

-Probably says something like ‘I can see why you were so nervous about bringing me to your house, your older sister seems really protective of you’

-and you’re like ‘um,,,,actually she’s my younger sister’ and he’s like ‘wot’ and you’re like ‘also she’s the least scary of everyone’ and he’s like ‘wOT’

-You waste no time parading him from room to room to show him off, all while his soul slowly escapes his body.

-Your parents actually scare him the least, like, of course they’re protective of you, but they have the common courtesy not to exaggerate their scary qualities. They still tower over both you and Midoriya, but they’re mostly civil in terms of interactions.

-Your older brothers scare him a little bit more. They share the basement suite, so you drag your boyfriend downstairs to introduce them all to each other...and interrupt their poker game with their friends.

-All of them have some kind of tattoo visible, nothing Midoriya recognizes as any gang symbol, but he’s still wary. However, he manages to say hello and all the pleasantries, and actually gets a smile out of one of your brothers, who tries to rope him into a game of cards.

-Thankfully you save him with the excuse that you still have more family to show him off to, but he’s left with the promise of ‘later, then’.

-Lastly is your sister, who he’s technically already met. She’s arguably the scariest of everyone. She’s easily almost six feet tall and looks like she could bench press the two of you with ease. You promise him that she’s a literal sweet pea, but when the two of you walk up to her room, Midoriya isn’t so sure.

-She glares at him hard, like she’s judging him about everything and if he doesn’t pass she’ll snap him in half. He has to swallow the lump in his throat, and quickly looks around the room for some kind of thing to ask about that might get her to open up.

-And he sees it. One of the rarer All Might figures from an old merch line, one that he also has, so he’s like ‘do you like All Might’ and it’s like a switch is flipped.

-You breathe a sigh of relief as the two of them start nerding out about their favourite hero, sprouting facts and recalling films and old news videos. When he mentions that All Might teaches at his school, your sister honest to god squeals, and starts asking all kinds of questions about what kind of teacher he is, what he’s learned, what it’s like to be a protogee of such a great hero. He answers everything with glee, all his former fears forgotten.

-When it comes time for dinner, your sister insists that your boyfriend sit next to her, which is apparently a very high honor because one of your brothers sulks off to the other end of the table. (You assure your brother later that it’s just temporary and that your sister just really likes your boyfriend).

-But seeing the two of them interact warms your heart, it’s usually hard for your sister to make friends because she’s so intimidating, so you’re glad they’re getting along. And so does the rest of your family! They see Midoriya’s kindness and hardworking attitude, and they warm up to him pretty quickly.

-It ends up being a really enjoyable night, despite the rocky start. Though sadly yes your boyfriend does eventually get roped into a game of poker, and yes your brother’s cheat, but you cheat too, and you’re all betting in chocolate coins. You share your hoard with him.

TODOROKI SHOUTO

-He goes into it being not nervous, and ends up being Quite nervous once he meets your family.

-When he arrives, you’re thankfully the one to answer the door, so he doesn’t get hassled, so everything seems pretty normal right off the bat. Until your cousin walks through the room and is like ‘???? who’s this pipsqueak???’ and Todoroki is torn between being his usual snarky self and being polite.

-He wats to throw shade right back, but for your sake he wants to make a good impression. You’re used to his manners (or lack thereof) but he doesn’t want your family to think he’s not worthy of you. He really loves you a lot and wants to stay with you.

-So he goes for a formal introduction, even going in for a handshake. It’s kind of funny, because your cousin is like ‘lol what are manners’ but your glare forces him to return the gesture. His hand completely dwarfs your boyfriend’s, and you have to hide a snicker.

-And then the guy awkwardly wanders out of the room.

-You and Todoroki kind of just stand there for a second, and then he’s like ‘is this what you meant when you said your family was intimidating’ and you’re like ‘:3′

-You give him a tour of the house, a nice modest place with traditional aspects. It’s nowhere near as big as his, but he like it that way, it makes the place more homey and warm.

-You introduce him to family members as you come across them; your younger twin nuisances cousins, who are more mischievous than dangerous, your aunt and her wife, who look like they could get away with murder, your brother and his friends, who mostly only glare at Todoroki to try and make him uncomfortable.

-Thankfully he’s used to the stoic and slightly scary expressions, thanks to his dad. He wonders momentarily if you’re safe here, but then he realizes that everyone in the house is especially kind to you, and very affectionate when they think he’s not looking. He doesn’t even bother asking the question.

-Lastly are your parents, who are in the kitchen preparing dinner. They’re a little perturbed that you’re both in the kitchen when they’re working, but they seem to be less purposefully intimidating than everyone else. They’re still a little scary though.

-Then he notices that your parents are making soba. From scratch. Which is particularly difficult to master, so he figures they must be pretty well practiced if they’re so good at it.

-Without thinking, he asks if they’ve made soba before, and soon your parents are sprouting off about their culinary careers and the restaurant they run. You were supposed to take over one day, but you ultimately chose a different path in life, even after they taught you so much.

-Todoroki didn’t even realize you could cook, but now he wants more than anything to try your meals someday, or learn a few things from you and make dinners together.

-It startles him a little that he’s thinking so far ahead in your lives, but honestly if you’ve managed to get him as a boyfriend then you’re likely to have him for your whole life, if you want him.

-He talks a little more with your parents about the food, expressing in his way that he’s looking forward to a dinner that’s had so much hard work go into it. And you can see the little light go on in your parents’ heads, the light that signals they approve of your choice in boyfriend and have started making room in their hearts for him.

-Dinner is nice, pretty peaceful aside from your twin cousins causing their usual trouble, but he’s nonplussed by it. he still wonders how you managed to come out so small in comparison to everyone else, but it doesn’t bother him too much. He can see that you’re loved and well cared for, and a little piece of him hopes that one day he’ll be able to get to know your family even better.

[kpop---scenarios]

Turn - kjn

Byun Baekhyun | Park Chanyeol | Kim Junmyeon | Kim Jongin

Warning: Smut

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: Kai isn't very interested in Baekhyun's gift, until you make him interested.

"I need you to do one more," Baekhyun begs you through the shower curtain. You had just woken up and here he goes springing it on you. 

"I thought you said you changed your mind on the fourth one?" You yell back, letting the water run through your hair. 

"I did, but then he started acting like a fucking asshole and my guess is because he hasn't gotten pussy in a while." Baekhyun scoffs. 

"What's wrong with him?" You ask, a little nervous for this one for some reason. 

"Nothing is wrong with him, he's just abstaining and it's making him out to be a real jackass. Girls don't try hard enough to get into his pants. He rejects them once and they break down. I need someone strong and sturdy, like a mule." He says. 

You peak out from behind the curtain. "I'm sorry, what?" You ask, less than impressed. 

"Confidence wise." Baekhyun chuckles. "A confidence that is strong and sturdy, cause when he rejects you, you need to keep pushing. This one is important Ayn. I need you to fuck him, fuck him real good." 

"Get out Baekhyun." You yell, desperately needing to finish your shower in peace but you had no issues with what he needed. You'd get it done, that's for sure. 

When you finally left the shower, you met Baekhyun downstairs for some breakfast, so he could give you the instructions you needed to complete your, as he calls it, mission. 

"So our friend Taemin is the owner of the club M. And inside there is an exclusive VIP room, called the Champagne room. That's where Kai will be drinking tonight. 

"Kai? I thought you said his name was Jongin?" You ask.

"Kai is a nickname," Baekhyun says, waving off your questions. "Now, I talked to Taemin because he agrees that Kai is being a baby back bitch and said he would let you in to do your thing." Baekhyun smiles. 

"Why do I feel like a prostitute." You sigh, placing your chin on your palm. 

"You're not.. really. But I mean you're not getting paid for this so technically you're just sleeping with dudes.. as a favour for me..  that sounds bad." 

"Stop talking." You sigh, standing up. "I will be at M tonight at 10 pm." 

"Thank you, I owe you ones, I mean one, cause paying you would make you a hooker!" He finishes as you walk out the door. 

Baekhyun sits there with a smile on his face. "That went well." He laughs. 

**

That night you stood outside M in your sexiest pair of heels and your shortest dress that perfectly showed off your cleavage. You took a deep breath before you walked into the club, wondering how you ever let Baekhyun talk you into doing this shit. 

Oh yeah, you remember, he convinced you with his cock. 

You walk up a flight of stairs, before turning down the hallway to see a man standing outside the door at the end of the hall. You approach him and he looks you up and down before nodding approvingly. 

"You must be Baek's.. friend." He says. 

"I'm not a hooker." You clarify. 

"Oh I know, although I'm unsure if Baekhyun knows because of the way he described you, you sounded like one." Taemin chuckles. 

"He should just never talk. Ever." He groans. 

"Anyways, Kai is in there and tonight." He pauses with a laugh. "He's feisty." 

You give Taemin a slight nod as he opens the door for you, allowing you to walk into the empty room. You spot Kai immediately, sitting at a table alone but you don't go for him right away, instead, you walk to the bar, getting yourself a drink and lean against it while you sip, looking around the place. 

Your eyes dart to Kai who chuckles to himself and sighs as he leans back in his chair, shaking his head. You finish your drink, walking up to where he sits. He turns to you, crossing his legs. 

"So, must be my turn?" He says, looking unimpressed as he takes a swig of his drink. You cock your head to the side, smiling at him as he stares at you like he's trying to figure out your game. 

"It is." You answer. 

He chuckles again, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "I'm not interested." He tells you. 

"That's fine." You say. "I just said I'd show up." You finish, sitting in the chair across from him. 

"What?" He asks, confused. "No seduction? No promises of a handy 600, or a gorilla grip job, or whatever people call it these days." He says. "Cyclone hips 5000?" 

"I'm sorry, what?" You laugh and then it dawns on you. "Ah, you've talked to Baekhyun." 

"I have. He warned me he was sending a present, and I've talked to Junmyeon and Chanyeol who told me to just let it happen because you change lives." He says. 

"I mean.. they're not wrong." You smile. 

"Like I said, not interested." He says again, finishing his drink. 

"And like I said, that's fine. But I've also heard somethings about you." You smile. "A nice, good, wet pussy really gets you going." You whisper, slouching in your chair a bit, spreading your legs.  "And I've been wet since I arrived." You finish. You watch Kai as his eyes dart down, looking between your spread open legs, no panties, just pussy. 

"Fuck." He hisses. 

You stand up, walking towards him before crawling into his lap. You sit on his thigh, letting him feel the heat radiating from you, letting your juices coat his pant leg.

"If you want me to stop, just say the word and I'm done." You whisper in his ear, biting his lobe. 

Kai lets out a small growl from in his chest, he picks you up and you wrap your legs around him. He looks at the bartender with hunger in his eyes. "Get out." He spits. The man quickly exits the room as Kai lays you on a couch, discarding his jacket as fast as he can. He pulls your legs open, falling to his knees as he buries his head between your thighs, licking a long strip up your pussy. 

"So fucking good." He groans. Kai spreads your lips with his fingers, latching his mouth to your clit, sucking hard. You pull down the top of your dress, exposing your tits before taking them in your hands, squeezing. Kai begins to lick your clit, teasing the bud with his tongue as he inserts two fingers into your pussy, causing you to arch your back. 

"Shit." You cry out, squeezing your tits harder. 

Kai continues to suck and lick on your clit as his fingers pump in and out of you. Your orgasm builds quickly, his movements throwing you over the edge, making you cum hard and loudly. 

"Oh my god." You scream as he keeps going, you come down from your high but he doesn't stop, his tongue and his fingers building another orgasm that makes you explode. Your chest is heaving as he pulls his fingers from inside you, sticking them in his mouth. His eyes meet yours as he licks his fingers clean, licking your cum off. 

"I've missed good pussy." He growls. He stands up, unbuttoning his pants before pulling them down. You move to your knees, staring, the veins running along his large, thick cock make you want to have him fuck you so hard. 

You place your hand on his shaft, pumping his cock a few times, making him throw his head back as he lets out some loud moans. You open your mouth, taking in as much of him as you can at once, hollowing out your cheeks. Kai groans at the sight of you taking his cock in your mouth, and the feeling of him going down your throat. You look up at him as he starts thrusting his hips, keeping his thrusts slow as he watches his cock go in and out of your mouth. His last thrust is hard, shoving himself down your throat, making your eyes water as his hands get tangled in your hair, keeping his rhythm while he fucks your face. 

He pulls his cock from your mouth, standing you up and turning you around to bend you over the table. Your dress rides up, exposing your bare ass. Kai raises his hand and comes down with a hard smack, landing it right on your ass cheek before he lines his cock with your entrance, quickly pushing himself in. 

"Jesus.. fuck." He grunts, his hand already grabbing a clump of hair to pull your head back as he snaps his hips, shoving his cock deep inside of you. 

"Just like that." You cry, clenching yourself around him. Your eyes begin to roll as he keeps up with his slow but hard thrusts, pounding into you, making your body jolt forward. 

"Good little slut." He grunts, pulling you up, flush against him. He continues to slide his cock in and out of you as his hand reaches around, cupping your breast before moving down between your legs to play with your clit. 

Your legs begin to shake as your orgasm comes from out of nowhere, building fast. "Cum all over my cock." He breathes in your ear. You cry out, loudly as your knees buckle and you cum. You can feel it dripping down your thigh as Kai groans about how wet you are. 

"Perfect fucking pussy." He grunts, thrusting again and again. "I'm gonna cum." He breathes. 

"Cum inside my pussy." You cry out, reaching behind you to keep him inside you. "Cum in me." You moan. 

Kai breathes heavily as he thrusts erratically, holding onto you tightly as he shoots his cum inside you, coating your walls. 

"Fuck." He moans. "I've missed that." He breathes. 

You both stand there for a few seconds, catching your breath. Kai pulls out of you, helping you sit on the couch as your legs wobble. He pulls up his pants, sitting across from you as you both laugh. 

"Thank you, Baekhyun." He laughs. 

** 

A few weeks later, Baekhyun had texted you to come over because he wanted to talk. It was safe to say you were a little nervous but you went. You walked into Baekhyun's room and see him, Chanyeol, Junmyeon and Kai sitting there, looking at you. 

"What's going on?" You ask. 

"We want you, again." Chanyeol blurts out.

"Here," Junmyeon says. 

"Now," Kai says. 

"All of us." Baekhyun smiles. 

You take a deep breath and walk into the room fully, closing the door behind you. 

[mxvladdy]

Ey, could you make food source reactions for Mammon & Levi like you did with the others?

I've read it like 3 times now, they're all so sweet and believable you did a great job!

You got it Fam! Glad you like them so much lol. (I got a lot more angsty with Mammon than I thought I would but I love him sooooo)

Mammon

This poor man. He gets to spend so little time alone with you. He has to make every second count. Between the hustling, modeling, and running from Lucifer, he’s a pretty busy guy. 

So he plans date nights. Just you, him, and his leather couch. Ya ain’t goin’ nowhere, ya hear? He looks forward to this every month. He pins it on his calendar too just so he doesn’t double book himself. 

Now, don’t get me wrong. Just cause he plans this doesn’t mean he necessarily has a plan. Not that you care. Most of his activities turn into trouble anyway, even when he is not trying.  

 Sometimes he teaches you how to play cards (also shows you human ways to cheat-just in case you need it). The hours are spent pleasantly sitting in his lap while he teaches you how to count cards.

But, most nights, he just wants to talk. He enjoys his time with you. You and him cuddling and chatting away the hours before passing out for the night. 

He has a lot of things he wants to know about you. To him, he feels like if he knows you better than the other brothers he’s won. 

Won what? Idk, your affection? Approval? He already has it, but he is insecure about his place in your heart regardless. 

This evening starts out like any other. Mammon dashing to the kitchens to pilfer some snacks and drinks before Beel can steal them all, and you bring your cute self over to his room. 

You two toss back a few drinks and spend some time looking over his latest photo shoots before going on to the main event. Tonight you brought one of your favorite human card games. It was like 20 questions, but some questions were more risque than others. Was it meant for more than two players? Yes, but whatever- Mammon wants to play it so you are.

You both are relaxed and drowsy by the time you start playing. Your stomachs are full of junk, and the morning moons are just on the horizon. It’s the perfect mixture for loose lips and secrets, before falling asleep in each other's arms. 

You pick easy cards first, jumping from silly innocent questions to one that made him blush from ear to ear. The hours pass quickly and Mammon’s answers become more slurred and accented as he tires out. 

He was on the verge of sleep when you ask,  “What’s your favorite dish?” 

It was a slip of the tongue, a long-lost memory pulled up from the dregs of his exhausted mind. He remembers a savory dish Barbatos use to make way back when. He can still smell the savory smoky spices mixing with the fresh vegetables and meat- Oh shit.

He feels you stiffen and he ain’t sleepy anymore, that’s for sure. Immediately up and apologizes. He stumbles over himself in his haste to explain himself. 

You spend the rest of the evening with him in your arms trying to comfort him as he tearfully swears he hasn’t eaten a person in a couple of hundred years. 

Mini Fic

He regrets it the moment the words slip out. His sleepy remark hangs out in the chilly air of his room. He feels you jerk in his arms as if punched. “Shit! I-I didn’t mean.” Mouth agape, he backtracks, tongue working faster than his overtaxed brain. He looks down at your head on his chest. 

Your eyes are wide. Their surprise reflected in the bright blue moonlight. His heart sinks to his stomach. Gods, he ruined it. “I’m sorry- I.”  Pushing you off of his chest he goes to grab his shirt and redress, ignoring the prickling heat growing at the corner of his eyes. He could sleep somewhere else tonight. You could have the room if you wanted, or at least give you a minute to flee in terror from the demon that masqueraded as your friend. He can’t look at you. Hells, he was too ashamed to even glance in your direction. What kind of idiot let’s slip that? They even had a council meeting about this very thing before you arrived. 

So lost in his panic he doesn’t notice you trying to get his attention. It wasn’t until you forcefully grab his arm did he hear you. “It’s ok Mammon.” You engulf him in your warm and comforting scent. Strong arms dragging him back to the crumpled sheets of his bed. Your soft fingers wipe at the silent tears streaking down his cheeks. 

He dislodges himself from your light grasp to rub at his own eyes. “How can ya’ say that?” Where was your sense of self-preservation? Ain’t humans supposed to be aware of such dangers? The irony wasn’t lost on him though. Being your ‘protector’ and all.

You shuffle closer, hellbent on comforting. His pack mark hums gently on his chest when you touch it. As much as his body wanted to run, your pact mark cemented him to his seat. He sits while you fuss over him slowly breathing through his mouth to calm his racing heart. He can’t help but drift closer to you when he feels your hand on the top of his head. When had he become so weak for you? 

“Well-How can I not?” You shrug. He closes his eyes when you start ruffling his fringe. “You’ve been nothing but sweet to me. Yes, you have,” You cut him off firmly before he can object. “Always my number one anyway.” That pulls a wet chuckle from your demon. His eyes clear up at your admission. “I trust you Mammon, honestly. I mean, I kinda knew that you’ve probably eaten a human or two in your life. Knowing, and knowing are more different than I thought.” 

 Mammon cages you in his arms, his nose brushing along your neck and jawline. “Damn-.” He huffs covering you in his warm body, arms tight around your sides. “I’m sorry. I ruined tonight.” Mammon sighs into your skin. 

You hug him back. “Nonsense, if you want to get technical I think you won this game. I can’t top that answer.” You push away with a wide yawn. “Now can we go back to bed?” With a nod, he flops over pulling you down with him. You bully your way into his arms again. Sighing constantly you snuggle in for the night, ready to drift off. His eyelids began to feel heavy again too. Your soft weight on him like a security blanket. He listens to your slowly beating heart, matching his breathing to yours. The rhythmic thumps working to calm him better than his noise machine. He basks in your presence, rubbing his broad hand down your back for a moment before you speak again.

“Hey, Mammon.” 

“Hmm?” 

“Do you think I would taste good?” 

Leviathan 

Awkward boy. Of course, he has had his fair share of humans. Not particularly his favorite through. A lot of the time it wasn’t on purpose. His demon form is big and sometimes more than just fish and other demons get swallowed up. Course when that happened, they weren’t exactly fresh either. Bleh-just thinking about it makes his stomach turn. 

No, he never got a taste for it, even when it was served in the royal palace. The memories of the sea are still pretty vivid. It never really crosses his mind anymore. Till you bring it up.

He invites you over for a game night. A new VR game he had been saving up for just dropped and he had to play it with you.

It was a horror stealth game. Heavy on critical thinking and solving puzzles in real-time.

Your two characters were on a race against time against a flesh eating cult that had invaded a small village. He thought it was a fun concept and you both liked horror games. He didn’t notice how quiet you had gotten until you had set your controller down. 

You ask during a loading screen after a pretty graphic cut scene of a npc getting caught. How realistic was that cut scene? Had he ever eaten a human before?

Boy is a brighter pink than Ruri-chan’s signature outfit (and twice as cute lbr) 

He gets so flustered that he misses the start of the next round and gets you both eaten. 

He doesn’t take conflict well. Like at all. He much rather slink off into his fish tank and hide than answer you. In fact, that sounds like an excellent idea.  

He slithers back out of his tank hours later thinking you had left or found a better brother to hang out with. Yucky people eaters like him aren’t good company for humans. 

You jump him the minute his feet are back on solid ground. Have an answer now you must! Yrssss. 

Mini Fic

“L-Let go!” Levi shrieks, caught in your sneak attack. He locks up when you jump him, all four of your limbs wrapping around his soaking body like an octopus. 

“No!” You squeeze him harder taking full advantage of the fact that he won’t remove you himself. You feel the heat of his blush through his soaked clothes as you cling closer. If he could blush any harder you were pretty sure steam would be wafting off of him. 

“Why do you want to know anyway?” He wiggles gently, trying to loosen your tight grip. 

“Morbid curiosity.” Well, at least you were honest. He was still going to say no, you didn’t need to know that about him. He opens his mouth to shut you down but makes the mistake of looking at you. The words die when he catches the pout growing on your face. Oh no- his one weakness. Your way your lower lip pops out adorably, accompanied by slightly puffed-out cheeks. It was a one-two punch to his defenses. 

“I-they weren’t on purpose.” He pleads. Nevermore in his life did he wish he could turn into a mist-like his brother. He feels you slip off of him. Your bare feet don’t make a sound on his carpeted floor. “It just happened sometimes.” He admits. You accept it for a few seconds before his words fully hit you.

“Wait? How do you accidentally eat someone?” You ask incredulously. “All though- that’s something Beel might do.” You ponder the logistics and step back to give him some space.

He rights himself, wicking the moisture from his coat and pants with magic until he is completely dry again. You start asking a dozen more questions in rapid fire. It was enough to make his head spin. You were too curious for your own good. “Ever heard of basking whales?”  

You blink. 

Levi sighs and waves a hand to himself.  “When I lived in the ocean… I’m big ya know. I kinda would just open my mouth and swallow. Whatever I caught I ate.” He waits for you to get the jest. Most of the time it was smaller fish and aquatic mammals. When a demon encroached on his territory he would eat them too. The dead were meant for his army, but sometimes they got sucked into.

Instead of nodding in understatement, you cover your mouth with the palm of your hand and snort. His eyes grow big and his blush turns brighter. You were spending way too much time with Asmo. “No-Not like that!” His flailing only makes you laugh harder. Great, as if he didn’t want to die of embarrassment already.

“Well word it better, nerd.” You laugh retreating back to the mound of pillows you claimed for gaming, VR headset in hand. “Come on, we have to start over now- thanks to someone.”

“You started it!” Levi shoots back grabbing up his gear as well. He fiddles with it for a moment before glancing back at you. You were oblivious to inner turmoil over this admission. A naval admiral was one thing. Humans had them too, that wasn’t too much for you to comprehend. Being a devil was easy enough to understand too, at least in his mind. But eating people? Shouldn’t you be more concerned? “So-that’s it?”

You look up questioningly. “What’s it?” 

He raises a purple brow. “You have nothing else to say? I just admitted to eating people!” 

“Not really.” You shrug. “I can’t get too pressed about it. It’s not like you are human. I’m like what-at the bottom of the food chain to you, right?” Levi nods. “See! So no point stressing over it. ‘Sides, you haven’t munched on me yet.” You turn your attention back to the screen, flicking your controller to wake his flat-screen back up. “Unless~” He gulps at the sly eyebrow wiggle you throw at him, the shit eating grin that accompanied it only made him worry.  “Perhaps you just have an appetite for seamen.” 

Your peals of laughter mix with his shrill yelps of objection, as he tackles you. His previous worries were completely forgotten by your teasing.