#oh god om scared to even post this

[anonimusunnoaniswriting]

Did I procrastinate writing by instead sketching how tall!reader would look beside orc!Nanami?

Why yes. Yes I did. (I am not a drawer)

[fr3akinthecorner]

It's the chinese choo choo chain daddy cypress do you have suicidal Ashley ready to play anime games? Her keyboard will make her kind of slow daddy cypress she has used this icon before what does this girl know about suicidal Ashley? Go on girl I don't know anything other than something about skateboards sir and sorry I'm om the phone if I respond without haste why is my daughter of love talking to u? And using ur photograph? Again? Let's ask her dadddy cypress ok girl hi daddy cypress I love you so much I'm using her photo bc I think it is a cute one and interesting god you scared me suicidal Ashley but we really mustn't meet this way the chinese choo choo chain disagrees it is coded to perfection for her to talk to you in an anime game first before a love letter to know you're true feelings and so you can't lie to her fuck u bitch! What am I supposed to do now? You can love me I do love u but it was fun lying to u but I can never change the chinese choo choo train so we're all stuck here talking on tumblr hey suicidal Ashley are u getting higher u should be? Sort of ok well you should don't do that to me I am not joke I believe u daddy ok bitch what are u going to talk about with your friend? Hurry along hey friend I felt so down jn the dumps last night everyone played a joke on me that my father chested on me with a Japanese woman and then I had no one to talk to or nothing to write about kinda like not fucj I didn't mean that hey you're gonna be fine with your daddy cypress bc he does love u but it's really sexy isn't it? Think about that I do and try but it still hurts my feelings that he wants to lie to me snd now i have to post this why now? We just got started talking you're boring I didn't say right now oh ok so your daddy cypress has to figure u out? That is so fucking sexy snd I can do it perfectly everything ask ur friend something do u party s lot? Yes I'm always at parties don't worry doll u don't need them it's daddy cypress yes she fucking does for me. To follow her around at the party like literally drink your coffee and unstretch your legs bitch soon you're gonna go outside and smoke and think about fucking daddy cypress I'm listening to your shitty playlist I'm just joking doll it's good and I read everything... your little chinese choo choo train is so fucking cute! Thank u! Now I am allowed to be cute! Why is she so excited daddy cypress? I have no idea let's ask her chinese choo choo train why the he'll are u so excited? Because of the codes on her laptop sir her keyboard coded from you and love is war they were coded to perfection it is that simple and now let's let her use them! No way! Not yet! Her wattpad codes haven't even come in yet you're giving this girl such a hard time just tell her well... your codes are here it's your chinese choo choo train and yes they work as well as tumblr does so go talk to Chris angel insider right now! On any writing app! Maybe its not wattpad only! Simply explore

[eureka-its-zico]

Irrevocably Yours

Request: hey! can i request a scenario of jungkook being a rich kid who has ome of his legs is leg failure , basically can't walk without a cane , And he falls in love with a normal girl , and they end up running away , happy ending plz , also if u can , LIT IT Up with smut ' thank u ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

A/N: So. This request was sent to me a long ass time ago. I mean a LONG time ago, and I spent so much time working on it...it became too long. So I broke it up in half. Just to see if anyone actually becomes interested in how this ends. Just to see if anyone still reads anything I write. So if you end up enjoying this, please let me know and I’ll post the last of this. I have so many things buried inside my google docs that need to be set free from hibernation. 

Also, I’m sorry if this isn’t any good. I’ve rewritten this a thousand times trying to fix it, and I’ve done all I can for now. I hope someone out there enjoyed this craziness. And to the original person who asked for this, if you ever see this, I’m sorry it took so long. P.s. I also took creative liberties and changed it up a little. Much love, Jenn

Jungkook x Reader

Word count: 13,756 (yeah I know, it was longer before I halved it. Sorry!)

Genre: fluffy/Smutty(later)/First Love drama sorts mess

A part of you would always remember the first day you’d met Jeon Jungkook. His presence standing in the doorway to the classroom held every single one of your classmate's attention along with yours. Jungkook silently demanded to be noticed, even though in a way he wanted no one to notice him at all. The classroom felt louder than usual, or maybe that was just how you recalled it. Maybe it's what caused the ringing in your ears when the room was swallowed up in silence. The sound of his cane hitting the stained linoleum; ticking like a time bomb with every step. 

At first you couldn't see why he necessarily needed it. Jungkook was a master of hiding things. Even pain. It wasn’t until he’d reached the teachers desk, his hip moving to rest against it to ease the extra strain off his good leg, that the stories of his accident became true.  Not one of you were willing to look too long at the challenge in his face. Defiance turning his soft features bitter as he glanced out across the room. Jungkook wanted to appear strong; to dare anyone to mutter even a word that he wasn’t. That he wasn’t the same person he was before the accident. 

He must have been able to fool your home room teacher into forgetting. His eagerness to introduce Jungkook only caused him to accidentally come too close to his legs in passing. The teachers’ waist moved and harmlessly bump against Jungkook’s bad leg. A small movement that was enough to change Jungkook’s entire demeanor for just a second. 

The whole room collectively took a breath; waiting for him to scream out in pain. To turn savage and yell or curse at the stupidity of the teacher. Jungkook did none of it. He continued to look out into the room with his chin held high. 

You could see, however, through the crinkle by his eyes and how heavily he now leaned on his cane that it’s caused him a great deal of pain. A brief moment in showing what he tried to hide and if you weren’t staring so hard at him, you were sure you would’ve missed it.

An infamous legend among other schools as his face showed up on Sports articles that featured proud features of parents beaming excitedly at cameras. Taekwondo and track metal’s around his neck by the dozens. Grades to match the intensity of his athletic drive with a rumor that if he tried something for the first time, Jungkook would still be phenomenal at whatever it was. 

Even without ever actually meeting him - everyone in that classroom knew who he was. Jeon Jungkook was a hard man not to hear about. 

In the beginning of the year there’d been a different headline for him, however. He’d been the passenger in a friend's car that was struck by a drunk driver. The ferocity of the impact leaving the car looking like a bow. Jungkook lost a friend that night, and part of the mobility in his left leg. The driver himself died instantly and you weren't sure if that was justice enough for the two boys who’d lost so much in a matter of three seconds. 

And with so much, yet so little known about him you found yourself unable to join the others in measuring up the boy in front of you. 

Jungkook was taller than you thought he would be, or maybe you’d silently been hoping the universe wouldn’t be so cruel to give someone talent and every single attractive feature known to man. He’d been played up like he was a god among the rest of you feeble mortals. You figure’d girls were overacting, I mean it happens. Imagining after listening to all their swooning, you’d somehow shockingly find out he was nothing more than your average - ordinary - boy. 

Jungkook was anything but ordinary. 

His lean frame still retained years of training that wasn't so easily hidden, even under the layers of the school uniform. You could see the care he still placed on his outward appearance. The rising star who was still handsome, even underneath all his brooding. His school uniform strained against tight muscles in his arms and, worse, was his legs. Your cheeks heating into an embarrassed blush as his eyes landed on what seemed like your desk. It was silly to think he’d caught you gawking. Everyone was gawking at him, but even a millisecond of his gaze made your cheeks light up with embarrassment at the idea of being caught. 

There was gossip of him not wanting to go back to his old school; his old life. You didn't really blame him. Why be stuck in a place where there were millions of memories of a time you had with a close friend? Of having the ability to walk down the halls without everyone looking at you like you were damaged goods. 

“Everyone pay attention!” Mr. Choi shouted. 

It all seemed unnecessary. Your attention was already on him whether he wanted it or not. 

“I’d like to welcome our transfer student, Jeon Jungkook. I expect you all to be on your best behavior.”

“I don't need you to defend me,” he snapped. 

He started moving his way down the aisle towards the only empty seat in the room: the one next to you. 

You quickly turned away from him and started cleaning up your space. Jungkook got to the desk faster than you thought and dropped his backpack down on top of the desk. His long body slumped down into the seat, placing his cane next to the window seal. 

“We’re going to continue with our previous lecture from yesterday. You can share with Y/N until you get your own books.”

You flipped to chapter eighteen with your many notes scattered inside. Your eyes giving him a sidelong glance before sliding the book neatly between the desks. Jungkook didn't bother to look at the pages: his gaze was locked elsewhere. Somewhere outside the window with the freedom far beyond the gates of the school. 

The enter class you’d spun a hundred different sentences in your mind. Each one playing out in your head as pure idiotic or unnecessary. You just couldn’t shake the feeling that it felt wrong letting him sit there like no one cares. To be a part of the prying gazes of the class; to know his name and him not knowing yours in return. You weren't sure why you gave a shit so much, anyways, but you did. 

At the sound of the bell he was the first one to hop back onto his feet. His hand instinctively taking hold of the cane to keep him propped up as he moved to situate his backpack over his shoulders. You’d followed close behind him and gathered up your things. 

You didn't see him again until fifth period. His brooding presence in the back of the class hung like a dark cloud you couldn't shake. You knew you weren't necessarily the most cheerful person in the room, but even Jungkook’s sour puss attitude was making you want to throw glitter at him. 

He didn't acknowledge you when you came to your usual seat at the window, and it didn't bother you. No one usually acknowledged you anyways. What did bother you was that he was sitting in your window seat. Statistics was by far your least favorite subject this year, and the one thing that kept you sane was that window seat.

“That's my spot.”

Your voice didn't hold any hint of malice. It was just definitive: you wanted your seat. Jungkook didn't look at you straight away. His eyes still daydreaming through the window and the world beyond. When he did finally look at you, you were sure the annoyance in his face was meant to send you packing. Too bad for him you’d seen worse. 

“Is that look supposed to scare me? It doesn't change the fact you're in my spot.”

“I don't see your name on it.”

Your laughter turned to a scoff; cut short by your disbelief. 

“What are we in middle school? If you want to get technical, it was assigned by the teacher aka my name is theoretically on that seat. So -” 

You acted like he was a pet you could shoo off your bed. The hand motion earning you his brow to raise in return. 

“You’d really make a cripple get up?”

“Is that what we’re calling you? A cripple? Because it looks to me like you’re still capable of doing things, oh say, a paraplegic can't.”

The anger rolled through him suddenly like storm clouds. All the possibilities of playful mischief disappeared as he regarded you with so much hate, it was as if he’d struck you. 

“Oh, really? I didn't realize that they were giving away M.D titles in high schools now.”

Your mouth opened to - to what? Apologize? The sensitive part of you told you that you should. His accident hadn't been a full year yet, and here you were badgering him. Yet, you knew if you continuously babied him like everyone else it was only going to do more harm than good. Your next choice of words were cut short when your teacher walked in and asked why you were still standing. 

“He’s in my spot.”

God, now who sounded like they were in middle school? Your teacher seemed to draw a blank. His gaze moving from you to Jungkook then back to you. 

“Just sit down, Y/N.”

You did so with a huff. Your arms pulling your backpack you’d sat down on the desk closer to you like a pillow. Just so you could rest your chin on top of it and tried to ignore the smirk that was now on Jungkook’s face. 

After you’d gone to your next class you couldn't stop thinking about your exchange. It  turned your mood sour the rest of the day, and you couldn't understand why. A part of you wondering if it was because of your choice of words or the defeat that shown all too bright in his doe eyes. 

The end of the day couldn't have come fast enough. You just wanted to get home and out of your uniform and maybe get a chance to go take some photos before your parents got home. You were too preoccupied with thoughts of where you wanted to go, and what coffee shop you wanted to stop at, when you collided into the back of someone else. A loud curse followed suit of the sound of a cane dropping on pavement making your eyes shut tight and your throat constrict around a groan. 

“Jesus, can't you watch where you’re goi- oh, it's you. Enjoy attacking cripples, do we?”

You opened your eyes to see a less than amused smile on his face. He acted more like a judge at your hearing and whatever sentencing he was giving out, it wasn’t in your favor. 

“I’m sorry I wasn't paying attention.”

You moved to pick up his cane for him when his hand angrily swatted yours away making you jump back a step. 

“I don't need your charity. I can do it myself!”

“No one said you couldn’t! I was only trying to be nice.”

“Yeah, well, go and be nice somewhere else.”

He situated his weight on his good leg and bent at the knee low enough for his hand to reach out and grab his second form of support. The movement so graceful that it left you stunned, but not as much as his words did. 

“You know, just because something bad happened to you, it doesn't give you the right to be an asshole. You aren't the only person to lose someone or something important. Get over yourself.”

With your hands latched underneath the straps of your backpack you stomped around him. Not caring that you left him standing stone still. His mouth slightly agape as he watched you take your exit. 

During your walk home, somehow, Jungkook plagued your thoughts. Your mind unable to comprehend why you were still thinking about him. It was the first time you’d met, and yet, you couldn’t stop thinking about him. If you were being honest with yourself you knew from replaying the last thing you said to him.The look on his face saying plainly that you were an asshole.

Everyone’s pain mattered. Grief and loss wasn’t measured by anyone else’s pain but the person who experienced it, and to diminish it in any way was unfair. Regret was building inside your chest and it was all you could do to keep your feet from sprinting back in his direction. 

When you got home you went directly to your room, throwing your bag on the bed, and sulked to your desk. You had more pressing matters to attend to than a boys’ possible hurt feelings. No matter how many times you tried, however, you weren’t able to write out theories on government history or explain anatomical questions.

The only thing your brain appeared to focus on was how to apologize. 

You thought about Jungkook while you showered and brushed your teeth. You thought of him when you laid in bed and struggled to find a way to sleep. Your mind playing out the million different possibilities of how your apology would be taken from him. You didn't necessarily understand what it felt like to have your dreams stolen from you. To be forced to cope with a new life you hadn’t asked for and the emptiness of losing someone you loved all in one go. 

If the tables were turned and it was you, wouldn’t you feel equally as bitter? 

The following morning in between toaster cooked waffles and fixing your uniform in the mirror, you’d resigned to apologizing to him. No matter how much thinking of it made your teeth grind and a growl rise in your chest at the thought. You imagined him sneering and replying with smart remarks and it caused your mind to waver, but you were better than the pettiness swelling in your chest. You were okay with knowing his prickled exterior came from something you couldn't ever understand. 

You made sure all the time you had while you walked to school was used up by mumbling the speech you’d made up the night before. At crosswalks practicing the best stance that didn't appear threatening, was friendly, but wouldn't be misconstrued as flirting. 

That was by far the last thing you wanted to happen in his eyes. Sure, Jungkook was undeniably attractive...as much as you would've loved to laugh sarcastically in his perfectly sculpted face that his obviously very masculine features did nothing to make you weak in the knees. That you hadn’t noticed when his elbows, still clad in his jacket, moved to rest on the desk it’d caused his biceps and shoulders to equally fight for whatever was left of the fabric. Or that small scar on his cheek caught your attention when he became annoyed; his tongue poking out at the side of his jaw. 

No, you hadn't been paying an embarrassing amount of attention to him at all (or at the ridiculous outline of his thigh muscles in his school uniform)  with every step he took. 

So, since you hadn't personally taken notice of any of physically appealing traits, why would you flirt? You were well aware of the vast difference of not only your social scale, but also of your class ranking, and looks overall. You were lightyears away from ever being able to consider being more than a female acquaintance he happened to get stuck next to at school. He wasn't the first boy who was out of your league, and Jungkook wouldn't be the last. Why it bothered you so much was a child's thought you refused to entertain. 

When you finally got to school you hurried up the steps and briskly made your way down the hall. Not stopping even after Jenny cursed after you for nudging her as you went by. As soon as you swung open the door for homeroom, your eyes landed on Jungkook’s position. His cane leaning against the desk, hands tucked inside the pockets of his uniform slacks as he leaned back against the chair. 

His gaze was focused somewhere outside the window, completely blank and motionless, and you wondered if he could've been having a thought at all. He was close to being marked as unreal in your book when he blinked and turned his gaze towards you.

You hadn't realized you’d been staring until that moment. Your gaze dropping to the worn linoleum as you briskly made your way down to your desk. A mumbled, “Good morning,” falling like a bad habit from your lips while you came around the side to slid into the desk chair. Nervous hands clutching tightly to your bag as you stared straight ahead, unwilling to glance in his direction. 

Somewhere between cursing your awkwardness and staring out the window like an escape hatch your teacher started the lecture. None of it to which you were paying attention too, which was probably why you heard him call your name. You jerked in your seat as he yelled it a second time. Your eyes no doubt wide from giggles that sounded around the room. 

“Y/N, since you're listening, you can go ahead and answer number forty-seven in the workbook.”

Panic sent your eyes wide as you stared back at his expectant face: waiting for you to fail. You hadn't even taken your book out since you’d sat down, finally moving to do so, when you felt a light tap against your bag. It was enough to jerk your gaze away from the teacher and down to a completed book of all the problems done by Jungkook. 

He cleared his throat and tucked his hands back inside the pockets of his trousers easily not understanding the severity of how his actions had left you wide-eyed in surprise. You were still taking too long, causing your teacher to prompt you with a grunt and Jungkook to casually reach out and tap the answer again. Your eyes trailing over the written answer before standing up and clearing your throat. The answer rolling off your tongue as easy as breathing; as if you didn't just steal it from a notebook. 

You made a silent prayer the teacher didn't notice the sweat threatening to break at your temple. The nervous ticking of your feet tilting from spot to spot. A rush of relief escaping your lips when his response to your answer was to continue class. 

You took your seat next to Jungkook; unable to acknowledge him just yet for saving you from whatever punishment your teacher would've no doubt thought of. The realization that Jungkook himself was the reason for your lack of concentration making your cheeks flush an embarrassing pink making your arms wrap protectively around your backpack. 

You’d never even brought out your textbook. Never dropped your bag from your desk and no doubt Mr. Choi knew you were given the answer. You buried your mouth against the coarse nylon in a weak attempt to stifle your embarrassment. 

“Thank you.”

Your eyes caught the soft tilt of his brow as it rose at the muffled words. You could make out his left shoulder leaning him down towards your huddled position, making your hands involuntarily tighten into your backpack. 

“What was that?”

The husky whisper of his words weren't anything you’d heard before, and they resonated up your spine to leave you staring starry-eyed.

“Th-thank you. For giving me the answer.”

He didn't respond. His gaze fixed solely on your face until you forcibly struggled to keep from fidgeting under its weight. After what felt like a small eternity, Jungkook nodded his head and faced forward. The sudden ghost of the death of your conversation causing you to blink at his profile. 

The rest of the class was spent with your focus lacking on taking notes. How could you focus with his presence commanding your attention? A small army of ants creeping along your nerves demanding to acknowledge him. It was so strong, when the bell rang you jumped up from your seat to try and escape into the freedom of the school’s hallway, only to end up with your knee connecting straight into the hardwood of the desk. Jungkook’s snort at your misfortune was enough to remind you how much of an arrogant pain in the ass he could be. 

“Wow - good job doofus.”

Your head snapped back in his direction; tongue rolling in your cheek as he hopped up from his seat. A hand snaking out to grab his bag and sling it over his shoulder as the other reached for his cane. You held your head high despite how awful your knee was stinging, and stood up adjusting your bag. 

“Seriously? That's all you've got? Doofus? Next time let’s try harder.”

Jungkook didn't seemed miffed by your retort, actually seeming more amused than anything, and for some reason it only bugged you more. Did you really want to get into another argument like you were in primary school with him? You discarded the thought as you tightened the strings on your backpack and decided to take the mature route and leave him behind. 

The hallways mass of bodies rushing to get to their next period giving you comfort; until you remembered you shared the same economics class. Today was also a field trip to a farm to learn the process of making soy products. It would take up the last few classes of the day. You’d been excited to spend the day out of class and enjoy the rustic scenery out of town. Your only hope was that he hadn't been able to get his parental slip signed; he’d just started the day before. How could he?

When the teacher walked in and asked Jungkook for his permission slip you wanted to howl. Why was the universe so cruel? But why did you care so much? 

It was a question you didn't bother to think about; you just grumbled the whole way to the bus. Your teacher standing at its entrance to put a check by your names every time one of your classmates passed him by like lined up cattle. You were the last checkmark: the last person to find an available seat. You rounded the final step and your stomach sank down into your shoes. The universe seeming to play a sick joke of musical chairs; your only options being Jungkook or Amber, the girl who actively struggled to make sure your life was a living hell. 

You’d rather be eaten by dogs than even attempt to sit with her. Jungkook it was, then.

Your hand clasped tighter around the strap of your bag as you moved it farther up your shoulder. A large sigh accommodating your steps as you side-stepped down the aisle ending with you in front of his seat. His cane taking up what was left of it. 

Jungkook didn't seem to register your presence or he just decided to pretend you weren't there. Either way you felt your annoyance grow as you cleared your throat to grab his attention. His chin barely leaving the perch of his fist as his head turned; gaze intimidating in a way that left your fingers pinching the fabric of yours clothes just to make sure they were still there and he hadn't stared straight through them. 

“Can I help you?”

“I need a seat.”

He looked back and no doubt noticed the open spot next to Amber. Jungkook’s giving the slightest nod as he retorted, “There’s one right back there.”

“Come on, Jungkook. What do you want?”

“You're bribing me now?” 

His smile was so bright, borderline adorable, and you hated how it threatened to make you retaliate with your own. 

“Stop being a brat and just tell me,” you snapped instead. 

Jungkook shot a quick glance back at Amber’s giggling figure. You were sure most people thought she sounded like wind chimes or something else cute and feminine, but to you it just sounded like a cat dying. When he looked back at you, Jungkook checked you out one last time. His eyes stopping at the lone earbud that sat against your chest. For a moment, you thought he was actually staring at your breasts making your cheeks burn and your gaze to look anywhere else but at his smug face. 

“Let me listen to your iPod there and back on this trip, and I'll let you sit with me.”

“What am I supposed to do?”  

Jungkook did a lavish hand sweep at the window. The motion reminding you of the showgirls on The Price is Right, making you believe maybe he’d somehow watched it, and one too many times. 

“You get to use your imagination while you look out the window.”

“No way. Joint custody.”

“Fine. Joint custody, but I get to pick the music the whole way. If you have shitty taste the deal's off.”

He stuck out his hand for you to shake and there was a moment, a minor second, that it felt like you were making a deal with the devil. However, the sound of Amber’s laughter practically had your hand bolting into Jungkook’s. You shook it harder than was necessary before dropping it and shooing him to move. 

Jungkook removed his bag and cane from the seat. Your legs giving out moments later so you could plop down in it, only to be greeted by his outstretched hand. The smile that spread across his lips shining brighter than the mischief in his eyes. 

“As per our agreement: the iPod.”

He wiggles his fingers and you wanted to smack him. Your own squeezing tighter against the metal until, reluctantly, you chose your fate by placing it into his hand. Jungkook didn’t seem to mind your current look of displeasure while you watched him begin to scroll through your assorted music collection. 

At least the seat was warm. 

The first few seconds were somehow more awkward than you thought possible. Eyes locked in a fifty-yard stare so intense a soldier would’ve been envious. The only movement you caught of him was from your peripherals. Jungkook’s thumbs picking up speed from the leisurely way he scanned through the artists you’d offered. And no you did not, whatsoever, happen to notice the way his bottom lip would dart inside his mouth just to be held gently between his teeth. All the while his eyes focused on the task in front of him.

Nope. You weren’t paying attention to him. Not even a little bit. So how he was able to make you jump twelve inches out of your skin, while you were most definitely not embarrassing yourself by gawking over a beautiful man, was beyond you.

“Ya!” Jungkook clicked his tongue in distaste. His hand wiggling the ipod in your direction, as if it had caused some great offense. “What is this?”

Your neck tiled as you regarded him like he’d grown two heads. You were also positive if your eyebrows knitted together any harder you’d end up with a unibrow. 

“Ugh, a mystical device that plays music.”

The look on Jungkook’s face faltered from frustration to annoyance. It was so sudden it ended up sending a bark of laughter in his direction. And just like that, the annoyed look was back again. 

“I mean, what the hell do you have on this thing. Who is The Dead Weather? City and Colour? Joji?”

“They are artists I enjoy.”

“They’re shit.”

You rushed to try and snatch it back from him. Jungkook’s reflexes proving to be faster than your growing urge to smack him.

“Excuse me, little miss,” he began. “What do you think you’re doing?”

He used his index finger to push gently against your forehead, but with the current level of irritation, he still proved faster than you. Your failed attempt to swat his hand away meeting only empty air. Earning you a smirk of smug satisfaction. 

“I’m trying to get my things back.”

“That wasn’t part of our agreement.”

You tried one last time to take him by surprise. Your right hand shot out too hard to grab at the object clasped in his large hands. The momentum carried you forward to land shoulder first against his chest. Leg nudging against his with enough force that it caused his cane to move an inch. It took everything you had to keep your head down to hide your flaming cheeks. 

“And now you’re assaulting me.”

If your eyes were capable of rolling back any father you might've seen brain cells.

“I was only trying to get my property back. Since the only thing that’s coming out of you is complaining.”

“I’m not complaining,” he snapped. “You’re acting like an Indian giver.”

“Is that all you know how to do: complain?” You continued, completely ignoring him. A slight smirk now etching your lips. Jungkook’s eyes flicking down to notice your amusement at his expense. “I believe they call it, ‘trying something new.’” 

His eyes narrowed on you and for a split second your pulse began to race. Sure, the agitation on his face at your teasing was obvious, but you could’ve sworn...maybe...just maybe he was smirking. Could you have possibly been able to make him smile? 

“I should make you go sit with Amber.”

The smugness in his voice and the cocky smile that joined it instantly made whatever fun you were having come to a complete halt. Jungkook was so pleased with himself he had the audacity to shimmy his shoulders like he’d already won. The rolls had reversed. It was your eyes turn to throw daggers in his direction. 

“Now who's the Indian giver.”

Even though he played up on what he felt like was a win, you could tell he was not as amused. His non-injured leg bounced to an incredible rhythm that he could only hear. Probably a furious count to a hundred to keep himself from saying anything else to continue your usual thrilling conversations. So when he handed over one earbud, and the iPod, but placed the other into his ear, it was fair to say it left you baffled. 

You were waiting so long for him to give an explanation, but all he did was continue to stare at you. It was starting to make your pulse race again. Why did he constantly have to feel so intense? Everything about him. Not even his current state made him seem any less notable. It just didn’t seem fair. 

It wasn’t until he cleared his throat did you realize you’d been staring. For god knows how damn long. 

“You gonna play something or not?” he asked. 

His hand motioned towards the music while his fingers adjusted the earbud he’d kept. 

“I’m so confused.”

“You look it,” he retorted, causing your earlier thoughts to remember, although handsome, he was an incredible pain in the ass. 

“Ten seconds ago you complained about my music. Now you want me to play it for you.”

Jungkook turned his gaze away, his body relaxing back against the hard foam of the seat. His eyes still cast outside the window as if he was trying to find some way to escape. 

“Either I can spend the next couple hours listening to you talk, or “try” out some new music. If I have a choice, I’ll pick the music please and thank you.”

Oh, how you wish you could’ve shoved him out that tiny window. But as much as you hated to admit it, Jungkook was right. Music was the only reasonable escape from possibly having either of you commit murder. 

It was your turn to try and get comfortable. This time your thumb scanning down the list of artists until your eyes caught sight of one he’d mentioned. Without giving him warning you pressed play. The haunting melody of Joji’s “Dancing in the Dark,” flooded the earbuds. His voice melancholic as he began to sing a sad tale of not wanting to be the hidden second option. 

The song choice was enough to finally get Jungkook to look back at you. Somehow already having enough with the song choice before it’d barely even reached the chorus. 

“Just listen.”

It was the only advice you could give him, and hopefully the reassurance you’d tried to ease into your tone was enough. Whether it was or not, by the time the chorus began he seemingly relaxed again into the seat. His arms moving to cross lazily against his chest. He seemed to actually be taking in the song while he watched out the window. The passing of the steel and concrete that was Seoul into the rural areas of green and forest. 

The music itself was calming. It was enough to let yourself fully relax back against it and close your eyes. With your eyes closed you could easily fade out the sounds of the sporadic conversations on the bus. Even though you only had one ear bud, all you needed was to concentrate on the music to drown out the world. 

It took a few seconds for you to be pulled into a Joji’s song about terrible longing and being left behind by a lover. I mean, you didn’t really know too much about the latter, but hey, a girl could daydream. His voice was seconds away from heading into the second verse of the chorus, when you heard the sound of the melody being lightly sung beside you. 

The voice was beautiful. The most startling part, not the fact of its softness, or the way it swelled in perfect harmony with the song, was that it came from Jungkook. Your eyes flung open with your head snapping to gaze at his serene expression. He continued to face the window, daylight playing along the profile of his face, and his gentle voice singing perfectly in tune. 

It wasn’t loud enough that anyone else could’ve heard it over the dozens of bursting conversations being spoken throughout the bus. That the only conclusion you could come up with to why he would be singing at all. He thought no one would be able to pay attention. You probably would’ve stayed gawking at him if his eyes fluttering open didn’t send you crashing back against the seat and clutching your eyes shut. You needed to pretend you hadn’t noticed. Or else he would stop. He would hide this part of himself that showed he was more than what he tried to portray. 

You didn’t have to open your eyes to know he was glancing in your direction. To see his eyes gaze over you with suspicion before settling back and listening to the next track. Khalid’s intro of “Talk,” beginning to play into your earbud. 

You spent the rest of the trip staying beside him, close as you could get without looking creepy, just to hear him gently sing. He breathed a gentle version of each one he knew, or came to like, and made it his own. Even being a few times were his nerves got the better of him. His voice rising ever slightly when he drew too deep into the song. He would quiet after each outburst, but to your pleasure Jungkook would start back up moments later. 

After all the bickering, you could definitely say the trade was worth it. You were so taken with listening to him that when the bus came to a stop, you didn’t realize it until your earbud was yanked from your ears. Your eyes heavy from sleep fluttered open and closed a few times before they focused on Jungkook’s face. 

“Ya, didn’t you hear them call us off the bus?”

Your response came in the form of slow blinks and a mouth half-hung open. You wished more for a nap than going out to explore a farm, but your limbs were screaming to be stretched. You went to answer him when, instead, Jungkook grabbed his bag, cane, and started to try and scoot over you.

“Hey! What do you think you’re doing?”

“Trying to get by! So excuse me!”

His backside rubbed against your arms and, to your horror, your chest. Without thinking, your hand lashed out to smack across his bottom causing both of you to go as still as the dead. Your heart was thundering as you looked at your hand like it’d just finished committing murder. Maybe it had. But the only person it’d murdered was you with your eyes roaming up to see a shocked Jungkook gawking down at you over his shoulder. 

“Did you really just smack my ass.”

“It was an accident!”

“An accident?” He questioned.

“Self-defense!”

Jungkook tried to hide the amusement your no doubt panicking was causing him. His mouth struggling to keep the frown that was tilting ever so slightly at the top of his lips. 

“If anything needed to be defended, it was my honor. Over here just smacking people’s ass’s without a warning.”

You knew by now your face looked like a fire hydrant. 

“Self-defense from you dragging your ass all over me! I’m not a seat, ya know.”

“Could’ve fooled me.”

This time Jungkook didn’t try to hide his smile. To your surprise, it wasn’t a malicious one that showed he enjoyed your embarrassment. No. This one decorated his face in something softer that made your heart thunder to a different rhythm entirely. 

“Oh, look you guys. Shit Stain and The Cripple are flirting.”

Amber’s grating voice was one you’d grown painstakingly accustomed too. The sinister way she spoke impossibly loud just so everyone was forced to hear her. Whether they wanted to or not. You were used to her coldness and the constant way she harassed you. What you weren’t so used to, was having Jungkook as part of the punchline. 

Immediately, you felt his legs tense where they touched you. The muscles ramrod straight and flexing under the skin. The lighthearted tone you’d heard seconds before in your banter was now replaced with an aloofness that made you stiffen in your seat. Jungkook’s jaw held tight as he regarded Amber as if she were no more than a pest buzzing at his ear.

“Ya, fix your nose before you bother talking to me. I can see half the planet up there.”

Amber’s eyes flashed hellfire as she glowered over her shoulders to stop the giggling that ensued. When all grew quiet enough to where she felt like she would be heard, a harsh smile spread her lips. Her legs began to take a step to move away from the two peasants who’d held enough of her attention. 

“Whatever, Cripple. Try not to get your stick in any holes.”

She was passing the front of your shared seat when, suddenly, Amber’s legs gave way. A tumbling mess of shrieks, bleached hair, and her arms flapping rapidly a solid indication of her mysterious attempt at taking flight. The only thing that moved to catch her was her face. The minute the laughter began to bubble up inside you, you quickly placed a hand over your mouth. Least the she-devil hear it escape. 

You took a second to inspect what could’ve possibly taken down the ice queen. Even when she wore ridiculously high heels, Amber walked with a grace you knew you’d never pull off. Not without looking like a newborn giraffe, that is. Glancing down you noticed Jungkook’s cane strategically placed right where her foot would’ve landed. The culprit in making Amber a freshly minted carpet on the bus’s floor. Somewhere on the bus you knew she was up from her tumble and huffing a few choice words. You were sure she knew, just like you did, that Jungkook was the one who’d done it. You paid no attention to her tantrum and kept a transfixed gaze on him. 

He’d finished scooting the rest of the way to get to the middle of the bus and was situating his cane and shoulder bag. His hand suddenly reaching down into view and patiently waiting for you to take it. 

“Come on, Y/N. Let’s go.”

You knew you looked like a fool. Your eyes mirroring the thousands of silent questions that threatened to make you ill. A part of you hoping he understood your dumbfounded look simply begged him to find some way to answer you. You’d stared starry-eyed up at him for so long you half expected the patience of Jungkook’s open hand to fall flat. Instead, he continued to surprise you. His gaze gentle, and hand openly waiting for you to take it when you were ready. 

With eyes wide and mouth agape, your body rejected your stunned silence and placed a small hand in his. His own quickly enveloped yours perfectly and gave you the added support you needed to find stable footing beside him. Jungkook finally looked away from you to stare at the remaining goons. 

The moment you stood beside him you became painfully aware of the noticeable height difference. Your gaze moving up inch-by-inch until your eyes were locked onto his face. The stubbornness of a hard set jaw and eyes that dared anyone to speak enough to make your heartbeat pick up in your chest. When he appeared to be finished making sure his presence was known, Jungkook’s eyes turned back to you. A silent request of reassurance to know you were alright making you answer with a quick nod. 

Your cheeks blushed furiously as you struggled to look away from his gaze. No longer were you so worried about Amber; your mind trapped on a repeat of questions. Did Jungkook always smell like Calvin Klein cologne? Could it be considered weird how you felt undeniable comfort pressed up against him? Or really weird if in your head you suddenly imagined recreating this scene a million times later with you being braver beside him, instead of being the damsel in distress.

He didn’t seem at all perplexed with your case of sudden shyness. His strong legs pulling you both forward and past the horde of Amber and her lackeys without missing a step. His head held high while the other hand helped him keep his balance without using his cane. For the small world that was high school, Jungkook showed them he was still that once popular boy who was known for not taking shit from no one. A demi-god amongst mere mortals that were somehow honored by his presence. 

And here you were. So close to the orbit of his sun and walking away unscathed.

Your train of rushing thoughts kept you from paying attention. It was something you soon were going to regret when he led you off the steps of the bus and onto the dirt road. Jungkook’s exit was obviously graceful while yours in comparison was a train wreck. Instead of your feet stepping off the last step and landing like a normal person, you lost your footing. Your clumsy feet sending you struggling to find a balance with the earth before you crash landed on the floor. Luckily, Jungkook’s back was there to catch you. 

The momentum of your fall sent his feet skittering to correct you both before you fell into the dirt. A few choice cuss words leaving his lips and crimson flaring up on your cheeks to make the dance of falling even more entertaining. You could practically hear the cackling of the witches echoing out of the bus like a cave. 

Jungkook made quick work of righting you both; his good leg furiously hoping to support the weak one. His cane dug into the earth a good inch to add some more stabilization. You let go of his hand and moved away from his side where you’d previously been planted. You weren’t worthy of being there. This boy who saw your distress and helped you. Only for you to ruin it in the process. 

“Well that’s one way to ruin an exit,” he huffed. 

He glanced in your direction and you could’ve sworn he was smiling. Or was that a smirk? Whatever it was, it was quickly washed away as his eyes took you in. “You okay?”

“I’m sorry!”

Your words rushed from your lips with your back snapping to bow a perfect ninety-degrees. Your hair a curtain to try and hide your embarrassment. 

“Ugh...for what?”

“For bumping into you like that. I should’ve been paying attention.”

A soft laugh bounced from between his lips and you were willing to beat his face lit up like pure sunshine. You moved to stand upright just in time to see you were right. Jungkook was either oblivious to the way you were looking at him, or was simply unfazed. His shoulder hiking the backpack where it’d begun to fall as he adjusted himself to get ready to move to join the rest of the class up ahead. 

“You did ruin one hell of a stylish exit.”

“I don’t know how stylish you can be stepping off of a school bus, but...thank you.” 

The both of you locked eyes with one another. A large part of you hoped Jungkook was able to see the sincerity or at least hear it. Maybe he wasn’t that much of a pain in the ass after all. That soft smirk you’d grown accustomed to etched back on his lips as he took the first step towards your waiting classmates.

“No problem. Plus, I figured I owed you for letting me listen to your music.”

You felt your brow shoot up in mock surprise. Your legs falling into step beside him. 

“I thought you said I had terrible taste.”

“I never said terrible,” Jungkook corrected. His eyes danced with a playfulness that lifted a smile to your lips

“You could’ve fooled me.”

“Well, it wasn’t the greatest, but thank you. I actually ended up liking most of it, at least.”

“Oh, what a sweet way of insulting my musical taste.”

“Hey! I said I liked most of it. It’s like a win-win. Kinda.”

You wanted to be snappy. Give him some more hell for always playing up on being a condescending moody jerk. In reality, walking next to Jungkook while the silence swelled around you without the awkward pressure; you knew that wasn’t all of him. He’d proven how sweet he could be at the memory of how easily you’d felt protected by a simple stretch of a hand. The look in his eyes while he waited for you to take his extended hand a plea to know you could trust him. Strangely, a part of you already felt like you could. 

You snuck a look over in Jungkook’s direction, and felt a smile begin to sweep up the corners of your lips. It was a different, but nice, change to have someone come to your defense. Yeah, most of the time you wanted to throttle him for seeming like he could care less. In that moment, however, he cared enough to help. That had to mean something.

“You’re welcome.”

You hoped your words conveyed the gratitude you felt in that moment. Prayed that Jungkook could hear it. When he looked at you, you made sure to give him a quick smile before you looked away. Your eyes struggled not to look back at him; to tell him all the things that were racing through your head. It took every ounce of your will to stay focused on the group of classmates that were growing closer. Somewhere along the way, you’d hoped Jungkook would’ve replied with his usual smart ass remarks. It worried you how sad a small part of you felt at his silence. 

Now, you worried maybe you were going a little nuts.

Instead, you came to the edge of the group in silence. Your ears struggling to grasp on to the middle of what your teacher gave out for instructions for the day. 

So what if that insane part of you didn’t receive a smart ass remark in return for your gratitude. You were more than happy with the fact Jungkook stayed by your side. The close proximity just enough to convey what you were both feeling without unnecessary words.

______________

For the past hour the farmer -Kim Sejung - had shown the class around his vast property. The beginning of this magical tour starting with where he manufactured the tofu once it was fermented then sent down to be processed for packaging. He was a man who took immense pride in his work. The next room where the fermentation took place and, his overeager explanation, spelled out how devoted he was to his craft. 

The whole entire backwards presentation was something your teacher decided became a chance for everyone to write down everything you’d been shown. A punishment you knew was coming when Kim Sejung lost half the class to their own conversations long before you’d hit the second part of his speech. 

Now, anyone could be wondering why all of you were taking the longest stroll of your life out in the middle of the farm. A fair question you’d been asking yourself since you realized your shoes were completely covered in mud. You’d been trying to understand why this hadn’t been the first place Kim Sejung would’ve taken all of you. Your only guess being he just enjoyed showing the process backwards. Or maybe he was secretly a  mastermind at torture. It was the only logical conclusion you could come up with at having the entire class now out in the muddy acres of his farm.

And sure, maybe your attention was being sent over your shoulder every five seconds. A certain boy with exhaustion creased in his brow making it harder for you to ignore. You were looking back so often you felt like you’d end up with whiplash at any minute. Really, it was all Jungkook’ fault for causing you to worry; becoming painfully aware with each glance at Jungkook’s struggling frame. 

How Sejung -, or anyone else for that matter, hadn’t noticed he was falling further behind the group with every step left you completely perplexed. You’d gave up listening to whatever the farmer or teacher talked about or what questions they were throwing around. You could bet it had to do about soil. 

If everyone else could ignore him why couldn’t you? It’s not that you hadn’t tried, cause of course you’d done exactly that. Your bottom lip now held a semi-permanent indent from your teeth. Whenever you felt that tick in your neck to look back to check on him: you bit down. When you felt like drawing attention to him by saying something: you bit down. A part of you willing to bet Jungkook would never forgive you if you did. 

Your solution? It was ingenious, really. 

You fell back behind every classmate. Patiently, you waited for everyone to pass you up. Your feet dragging in the muddy dirt until you were sure no one would notice when you inevitably stopped. 

With a soft count of three under your breath, you came to a halt at the back of the group. Your small count continued for another round before you were comfortable with the distance it’d placed between the group, Jungkook, and yourself.

You let out a huff of satisfaction as you turned around to give Jungkook your complete attention. Your neck thanking you for the small favor. What you found, however, greeting you was far from what you’d hoped to find. 

Jungkook’s current location became a solid five feet behind the group. His feet finally coming to the large puddle of mud that you and the class had easily maneuvered Jungkook had not. His struggle coming to a standstill at the muddy puddles edge. Jungkook’s face etched itself in harsh determination to no doubt allow him from moving forward. You told yourself you would stay back and wait for him. 

Just wait, You kept telling yourself over and over. A broken record having nothing on what you felt capable of standing there. Your pulse bonding in your veins and feet bouncing with anxiety as he assessed his options. All you were supposed to do was hang back to walk with him. That was it. You weren’t his nanny. You knew how he felt about being pitied, and yet, when he took his first tentative step out into the mud and his cane sunk deep and his bad leg followed suit, your feet deceived you. 

It appeared Mother Nature had her own way of pushing you past your reserved good intentions. Your feet sprinted forward fast enough that you were embarrassed at their quickness. The expected movement bringing Jungkook’s frustrated gaze up from his current dilemma to you.

“What are you doing here, Y/N?”

The annoyance held in his question didn’t go unnoticed by you. If it was you in his position, you’d be annoyed seeing you standing there too and not offering to help. 

“I came to help you.”

The words just streamed out with your running thoughts. Your feet willing to move forward back into the mud to help him. Jungkook noticeably began to struggle to remove his foot that submerged quickly underneath. 

“I didn’t ask for your help.”

“You didn’t have too, Jungkook. I want to help.”

“Let me rephrase myself.” His irritation was pure fire in his eyes as his words hurled in your direction. “I didn’t ask for it and I don’t want it.”

You wish you could say you handled his dismissal with grace. That you understood he was only being a jerk because he was embarrassed and angry at his current predicament. You really wanted to be that bigger person. Well...that most definitely wasn’t what happened. 

Your eyes narrowed in on him. Your previous desire to help evaporated as you watched his leg sink deeper. His other foot soon joined the first in a poorly calculated attempt to release the other. Your arms crossed over your chest as you took in the scene before you. 

“Well, Jungkook, I’m not sure if you noticed but you’re slowly heading towards being buried under that mud.”

“Thank you for that astute observation. Anything else you’d like to add?”

“Why are you being such an asshole?!” you snapped.

Your arms came loose down at your side and turned to clenched fists. You weren’t exactly sure what you expected his reaction to be. You knew Jungkook held a hatred for being pitied. Hell, you would too if it was the other way around. You knew he wasn’t helpless, but you also knew he couldn’t do everything alone. No one could. So what was so wrong with offering to help him?

You weren’t sure how you looked. Maybe crazy? Or did the desperation of not knowing how to handle the situation have you appear sad? Whatever it was Jungkook saw, it was enough to look away. His eyes dropping down to his covered feet. 

The space between the two of you swelled with tension. His hair perfectly covering his face, and kept you from being able to steal any glance. It was enough to make you unsure if you should prepare yourself for a verbal battle with him or if you should simply walk away. What if you’d made a mistake thinking Jungkook would want to be bothered at all with help. Especially from you. 

“God, this is embarrassing.”

His words were so light you weren’t sure at first if he’d spoken. A part of you wondering if you’d made up the sound of his voice as Jungkook’s face continued to be hidden by layers of hair. But, lord help you, you knew you weren’t imagining things. The sound of his voice is something you’d come to recognize with ease. You knew without a doubt it most definitely was him. And the sadness that reverberated from his words made your anger dissipate instantly. 

“What?”

Could you have picked a stupider response? When Jungkook lifted his head up to look at you, you knew he silently agreed.

“It’s embarrassing!” His hands motioned to take in his current predicament. The hurt shown on his proud features made your heart ache to comfort him. “How pitiful can I get? It’s so damn frustrating! The cripple unable to get himself out of some stupid mud.”

“Jungkook, you are literally the least pitiful person I’ve ever met.”

“And yet, it doesn’t make me any less stuck.”

You took a step forward and began to try and edge around what you could of the puddle. You knew there was no way you weren’t getting more mud on your shoes, but the purpose was worth it. 

“Why didn’t you just go around it?” Your question earned you a dead stare. One that reminded you of your mother when she felt like you’d asked the silliest question. You held your hands up in surrender and said, “Hey. It’s a fair question.”

“If I just go around it, it proves that I can’t do the simplest thing, Y/N. It proves…”

“That you aren’t like everybody else,” you finished for him.

You could’ve kicked yourself. How could you not have noticed it sooner. Jungkook just wanted to prove to himself that he could still do things like he did before his accident. Because even though he showed people bringing up his disability didn’t bother him, it did. He still hadn’t come to terms with what happened, and believed the current state of his leg deemed him less worthy. 

He looked away from whatever he saw in your eyes. His own fighting not to show the sadness that threatened to spill down his cheeks. 

“You aren’t like everyone else, Jungkook.” Your words tore his head back in your direction. His shoulders quickly squared up to take whatever verbal blow you were about to hurl in his direction. You were happy to convince him otherwise.

“You don’t need to prove anything to a single person. Yeah, you aren’t a hundred percent who you used to be, but it doesn’t make you any less you. You aren’t defined by a damn leg and if another human being does treat you differently because of it: fuck’em. Now, get your shit together and hand me the end of your cane.”

The both of you stared at one another for what felt like an eternity. Jungkook’s face unreadable as his eyes took you in making you squirm just the slightest bit. Whether he was looking for a hint that you were deceiving him; that something hurtful laid underneath, he wouldn’t find it. You made sure with your hand this time open and waiting for him, that he could see just how much you meant what you said. 

After what felt like a baby size eternity, Jungkook answered you in a way you’d grown to expect. In one swift motion, he picked his cane out from the mud and placed it, dirty end first into your waiting hand. Your face scrunched up in disgust, as the leftover mud squished between your fingers. The action enough to break the coldness of Jungkook’s blank expression into the smirk that was all too familiar. 

“Oh my god! You would do that.”

The amusement on his face was enough to tell you he’d most definitely done it on purpose. Of course, you’d already known that. You didn’t need his raised eyebrow or that devilish smirk to inform you of that.

“Oh, so you think you know me now.”

“I know enough to know, without a doubt, this is something you’d do. Brat.”

You saved the last word for good measure and it was met with a bark of surprise laughter. His reaction was not something you’d expected, but a welcomed one as his face instantly lit up brighter than you’d ever seen. Jungkook’s laughter and smile was genuine and good god, was it breathtakingly adorable. 

Who knew calling him a brat led to so many heart stopping possibilities? Like no longer having a permanent scowl. 

“Alright smart ass, how about we settle this for when I’m not stuck in the mud.”

“You got yourself a deal. Only if you stop pouting.”

“I was not pouting!”

It was your turn to laugh wholeheartedly while your other hand moved to secure itself to his cane. There was no way you’d be letting it slip free from you. Mud or no mud. 

“Tomato potato: pouting is pouting.”

Jungkook’s head tilted to the side. His brain noticeably trying to comprehend what it was you just said.

“That makes absolutely no sense.”

“It makes perfect sense, Jungkook now grab a hold of yo-“

Honestly, you should’ve seen this coming. He’d already given you a muddy end of a cane. It was the perfect foreshadowing moment that was leading up to this, and yet, somehow you were surprised when he pulled with full force. You figured he was strong - not freakishly. Not enough to send you flying face first toward the large mud puddle with the sound of a squeaking bird of surprise that you could only assume was yourself. 

The only thing that kept you from going face first was a split second decision to ruin just the lower half of your outfit. 

The impact with the mud was squishy and came with the weirdest sound effects that reminded you of pushing your hand into a container of slim. God, was it squishy. An immediate, “Ewww,” dragging out from your lips as your hands lifted up from where they’d been buried. Your eyes taking in the full extent of your lower half now resembles the Swamp Thing. 

Jungkook’s laughter brought you back to reality and flinging what was left of the mud on your hands in his direction. It only earned you another bark of laughter. 

“What in the hell was that for?!”

“Now whose pouting?” He teased.

You wanted to hit him but you knew you couldn’t reach. So you settled for flinging another round of mud. 

“Are you kidding me? You pulled me in here cause I said you were pouting!”

“Yup.”

“Unbelievable. You’re a child.”

“I thought you said brat?”

“That too! Ugh! Jungkook! You’re such a pain in the ass. I’m not helping you anymore.”

You moved to try and pull up one leg and found it way more difficult than you’d imagined. Seriously, was this shit superglue? No matter how many times you struggled to pull up either leg it wouldn’t budge; producing an agitated groan to seep from your body. 

You wanted to murder him. 

When you glanced up at him at least Jungkook had the decency to appear worried.

“Do you need help? I didn’t think it’d be so hard for you to pull yourself up.”

“Oh, so you’re worried about me not being able to pull myself up, but not about me covered in mud.”

The shrug Jungkook gave as an answer made you want to throttle him. You wanted to tell him to shove his help up his ass. Realistically, however, you knew there was no way you were getting unstuck without getting dirtier from crawling around. For a second time, his hand appeared, like magic, in front of you. 

Your eyes trailed up his hand to that devilish grin of his and found your earlier agitation disintegrate. What you hated the most, was how his eyes lit up to match his smile. This warm version of Jungkook wasn’t someone you were used to. You’d seen the cocky jock who knew he was good at everything. Experienced the real asshole Jungkook that made you want to rip out chunks of hair. But this side of him...was worth a heartache or two. 

Without another thought you reached out and took his hand and allowed him to start lifting you up. It wasn’t until you were half way you came up with your own plan. A devilish grin of your own spreading your lips wide as the idea grew into something worth doing . 

Jungkook had a moment to be confused before your free hand shot out and took fierce hold of his forearm. You made sure it was locked in place before your body went completely limp, and sent his body into an unbalanced mess. 

“The fu-!”

Jungkook’s descent, at first, made you feel like you’d accomplished a victory. One you didn’t get to relish in for long. Jungkook may not have been able to finish his earlier sentence, but you easily made up for it. A softened, “Fuck!” came pressed from your chest as he landed sideways on top of you. The angle reminded you of an awkward pair of scissors: if one part of the scissors was ridiculously muscled for a student. 

You’d had little time to move your hands up to brace yourself against his weight. The air from your lungs whooshing out in laughter with your body struggling to recover from underneath him. And no, no you weren’t painfully aware that your hands could feel every well lined muscle under the fabric of his t-shirt. And no, you were not blushing. Not even a little. 

You were sure when Jungkook lifted his head up to look in your direction, he’d see the sinful glee you took in your awkward positioning. Instead, your lungs erupted into laughter. One side of his face perfectly smeared with mud making one eye remain closed and his right doing most of the work. He looked ridiculous...and cute. 

“You think this is funny?”

“I think-I think it’s the best thing I’m going to see all day.”

It took a few tries to speak through your laughter, but when you finally got the words out you couldn’t have been more proud. Jungkook on the other hand, seemed to struggle to keep the annoyance on his face. The first sign of a smile cracking into the mud that began to dry on his face. 

Jungkook moved to prop himself up - the action giving you the room you needed to wiggle out from underneath him. You were about to call it a success, a retort to an unspoken comment he’d yet to make. All of it came crashing down, however, when Jungkook’s mud covered hand rose from the depths and placed a long streak down your nose with his thumb giving an artistic sweep across your cheek. 

The marks he gave reminded you of those old western movies you’d seen. Warpaint covered faces of men getting ready to square off to defend their home from invaders. The thought seemed to match perfectly with the beat of your heart thundering like a drum inside your chest.

It wasn’t just because Jungkook touched you - on purpose - in a playful way. It had nothing to do with the fact his muddy hand was currently resting against your cheek. Or from the denial that it brought out a spark of mischievous happiness to ignite inside you as your mouth fell open to expose the sound of laughter. No, your heart pounded against your chest purely for the look that passed behind chocolate eyes and the soft smile that followed close behind. 

So, sure. In that instance it could’ve just been a plan old look. You weren’t a hundred percent sure it wasn’t more than just a look though, either. There was that one boy in first grade, however, who did give you an aggressive teeth-clacking peck on the lips during recess, but this was completely different. 

And because you were so uncertain of what it all meant, your only reaction was to lift your hand up from beside you and slam it palm first against his face. 

Jungkook’s face lit up in shock and you couldn’t stop the eruption of laughter that spilled from your lips. It was an immediate rush of joy at seeing his handsome face marked by your small muddy handprint that streaked itself across the plains of his face. Normally, you’d be mortified: waiting patiently to be scolded and made to feel small. Instead, the shock wore off his face in an instant. Jungkook’s eyes lighting up with childlike excitement as a giddy, “Oh yeah?” rushed between his lips. 

You didn’t have a chance to wonder what he meant before he reached into the mud and brought up a snowball version of the earth. 

“Oh, no you don’t!” 

Your eyes went wide and frantic giggles exploded free as your body struggled in vain to get out from under him. The previous joy of being pinned by his weight dissipating when that large mud ball found its new home smeared on top of your head. 

“Jungkook-ah!”

His own laughter rose up around you as your body began to move in earnest to get out from under him. When you finally realized it was pointless, another bright idea overtook you. If Jungkook noticed the renewed mischievous glint in your eye, he didn’t show it. 

He continued to smile obliviously down at you until the two fist fulls of mud you’d taken in both hands came crashing down on top of his head. It didn’t matter that your face caught some of the aftermath: the face he made was priceless. 

You didn’t get a chance to enjoy your tiny victory before the two of you were a mess of arms and limbs rolling feverishly around; the two of you playfully wrestling for dominance. The mixture of your laughter rising up until you weren’t sure where Jungkook’s ended and yours began. By the end of it, you were both resembling the pigs you’d seen earlier on the farm. Bodies fully covered in wet earth and lounging beside each other in exhaustion. Every few moments random fits of giggles overtaking the two of you until you realized you both needed to get back. 

This time, instead of the two of you refusing help from the other, you eagerly took it. The both of you worked together to reach the edge of the mud pit and, without further incident, pulled each other out. 

The walk back to the main barn was done in silence. In other circumstances, you would’ve been consumed with a need to fill it. The impending weight of anxiety would’ve flared across your skin until you would’ve blurted out anything. Small talk was never one of your strong suits, but a comfortable banter had somehow formed between the two of you. You knew if you started talking, Jungkook would respond. It was still a fifty-fifty on whether or not it would be a smart ass response or a real one, but a response nonetheless. 

You didn’t try to start a conversation. You chose to enjoy the reassurance that he was beside you. Your mind running through what exactly just happened and how you both ended up looking like bad impression art. You’d spent so much time stealing glances in his direction that you could’ve sworn you caught him doing the same. But who were you kidding. No one had stolen glances at you since middle school, and that was only to steal the answers off tests. 

There was no way Jeon Jungkook would be the one to break that trend. No matter how flattering the thought. So when you felt that knowable itch of being watched you found yourself surprised that Jungkook was indeed staring at you. 

“Are you cold?”

Jungkook’s question jolted you from your train of thought and sent you reeling into another. He was closer to you now. Close like you’d been while sitting on the bus with your shoulders brushing with every movement. Every bump helplessly sending you lightly banging into the other. 

On the bus you could easily play it off as something out of your control. But now? Now there was no good explanation that you could find to why Jungkook decided to walk so closely beside you. There was no way to explain away the way his gaze drew across your face like he’d save it to memory. 

“Well I am covered in freezing mud water.” 

You’d tried for sarcasm but your voice barely carried over a whisper. It made Jungkook’s head subconsciously dip lower just to hear you. The devilish smirk he was infamous for spread like wildfire across his lips. 

“I would offer you my jacket, since it’s the gentlemanly thing to do, but you see some crazy person pushed me into the mud.”

A scoff escaped you as your hand playfully whipped out to slap his shoulder. 

“Ya, Jungkook! You? A gentleman? That’s funny. What is also funny is the fact you got yourself stuck in the mud first. I just came to rescue you.”

“Rescue me?” He asked with an eyebrow coyly cocked. 

“I’m like your knight in shining armor.”

A throaty laugh came from between his lips; sending his head back exposing his face to the sun. You were mesmerized watching him as the sun kissed down across his face and weren’t at all ashamed at being caught watching as he brought his attention back to you. A smile of your own growing to match the one he wore along with your mind fluttering in wonder of how he was even real. 

“If you’re my knight, Y/N I’m in a lot of trouble.”

You feigned hurt but couldn’t hide the grin happily splayed on your face and, crazy thing was, you didn’t want to. It felt impossible that the two of you were so giddy with each other. A strange familiarity brewed heavily between you to the point it felt like the two of you joked like this for years. 

Jungkook’s own smile enough to warm the chill that began to creep up your arms to expose goosebumps on your skin. The two of you fell into a shroud of companionable silence and continued to make your way back to the main entrance of the farm. Your heart skipping a helpless beat every time you feel Jungkook’s fingers graze across yours. Your mind hopelessly wanting to believe maybe, just maybe, he was tempted to reach out and hold it. 

You came back to the main farm and found your teacher and classmates impatiently waiting. The immediate shock your teacher showed at your appearance seemed to grow more intense until he came storming over: hysterical at your current condition. 

“What on earth have the two of you been doing?!” 

“They’ve been rolling around with pigs.”

You knew that tart voice anywhere and wasn’t surprised it was Amber that spoke. What did surprise you was how much you didn’t care with Jungkook standing like an equally filthy calm current by your side. 

“We’re sorry, seonsaegnim,” Jungkook began coolly with a bow. When he realized you were still standing a hand shot out to the back of your head to bring it down. You quickly slapped it away but kept yourself in a bow. “We got lost from the group and found ourselves stuck in a giant mud pit.” 

“It seems to me like you were playing in it,” the farmer chuckled. “I could hose them off before they get back on the bus.” 

His offer left heat rising to your cheeks. The sound of a sea of giggles making your stomach ache in embarrassment. You used the curtain of your hair to hide and hoped they’d come up with a different suggestion, but with a small shrug of his shoulder, Jungkook brought your heated attention back to him. A soft smile cracking the now dry handprint you’d left across his cheek. 

It was ridiculous. You both looked ridiculous, and yet, he was still handsome. You probably looked like a troll. 

“Hey Knight in shining armor,” he whispered. “It seems we get to take a bath together.” 

The sun couldn’t be anywhere near as hot as your face felt. The heat spread from red cheeks and down your neck until the butterflies in your stomach were out of control. Jungkook knew what he had done. He could see it plainly on your face and he loved it. 

You, on the other hand, wanted to hit him. 

And just like divine intervention your teacher did it for you. His curled up pamphlet struck down on top of Jungkook’s head, but it only made his smile grow impossibly larger.

“Ya! I don’t think so! We’ll have you go one at a time to clean up. I’ll look for something for you both to change into.”

Jungkook went first to be hosed down. The farmer actually allowed him to have his privacy so he could get into his more...private areas in peace. The clothes that were found for both of you to wear were old gym clothes thrown in a box in the storage bay at the bottom of the bus. You imagined they must have been thrown there for a reason. The colors were sad and faded down to a color that resembled the mud you’d fallen in. An even sadder rim of yellow wrapped around the sleeves the only hope of color in the terrible outfit you were now forced to wear. At least it was warm with the added bonus Jungkook somehow ended up with the shortest shorts in the box. 

After the two of you dried off and changed you were shepherded onto the bus. The place that held Amber and her minions now vacant due to the teacher demanding you sit exactly in the far back in their spot. He must have imagined it would be like putting two naughty kids in time out. The only effect it really had was giving you the chance to breathe and enjoy the solitude. 

Jungkook dug around for your earbuds inside your bag. Finally finding the small container and lifting it open. His fingers pulling out the left and surprising you by placing it gently in your ear. Your face must have shown this but Jungkook paid you no mind. He was busy placing the other bud into his ear; flipping the case shut and throwing it back inside to forever be lost until you practically tipped out your bag to locate it again. Oh well. A problem for another time. 

“Put on something for the ride home, Y/N. I trust you to be dj again.”

You wanted to tease him. To joke about putting on the YMCA or Macarena . The only thing that stopped you was the relaxed features of Jungkook’s face. The lazy way his neck rested back against the seat and his head languidly gazing in your direction. You tried to squish back all the butterflies that look gave you and a hushed, “Alright. Lady Marmalade it is,” embarrassingly came from between your lips. 

Your eyes were too focused on your music list. You didn’t allow them to look as he chuckled beside you. The sound light and rough all at once - demanding you give it attention. 

“Don’t make me regret it,” he joked. 

You kept scrolling until you found Deans’ “D (Half Moon)”. The soft piano and tone of his voice quickly filled the ear buds and by the soft hum of the voice beside you, you knew you’d pick a good one. 

You allowed yourself to relax beside him. Your right hand placing the playlist down between the two of you. Your body was so relaxed you didn’t think about moving your hand anywhere else. Your eyes falling comfortably closed as you continue to listen to the acoustics of the song and the even softer, and equally pleasurable, song of Jungkook singing along. 

When his left hand found its way down beside yours, you didn’t question his reasoning. The music held between the two of you and maybe he wanted to change the playlist. You let your mind continue to think that even after his finger gingerly grazed yours and found a home beside them. Both of your hands stayed this way the entire ride back to campus. Neither of you moved to change positions; lost to the sounds of the melodies of the playlist.

[reynie-muldoons]

'The Dance of the Celestial Orb' liveblog!

I have a pastry to munch on while I watch, let's get at it. Book and show spoilers below :)

EDIT: full liveblog has been recovered and posted, this is only partial!! Apologies, my original liveblog didnt save lol

I'm ✨nervous✨ please let our children be okay

0:10 this Sticky arc hurts me so kuch

1:35 this music is BUMPIN

2:22 I just wanna know how she got under there without the dude seeing her

2:47 "all systems go" for the Improvement 😬 yikes 😬😬😬

2:55 she didn't wait even 5 seconds after they left, the door was still closing when she popped up 😂 can you imagine if one of them doubled back right at that moment

3:18 they look like the dudes from that veggietales movie, I think it was Esther- the island of perpetual tickling?? Anyone??? 😂😂😂

4:00 Kate vented.......

4:51 "not a rat" yeah no shit

5:07 if not for the suspense, I would be jamming out lmaooo

6:10 Mr. Benedict is looking at the shoreline, is he about to watch Kate dive in???? Because I mean that's where she's gotta be going

6:20 "memory challenges"? Is Rhonda talking about Milligan's amnesia, or has short term memory been affected as well??

6:29 .....thank you for answering so efficiently 😂

6:42 "I buy it. I completely.... buy it." RHONDA THAT'S NOT HELPFUL AHSKSHDJKD

6:56 can you imagine seeing your friend go down in a sub then hours later seeing the sub float up in fucking PIECES

7:06 KATE! KATE! KATE! KATE!

7:06 please let it be reunion time

7:25 oh hello that's a drop

7:38 *to the tune of Bezos I* come on Katie u can do it pave the way put ur back into it

7:51 she craves that mineral

8:06 Sticky, my child

8:20 oh my gosh they went out and LOOKED FOR HER I care them 😭😭😭

8:23 SHE KNEW HIS DREAM SHE KNEW HIS DREAM TELEPATH TELEPATH TELEPATH

8:34 STICKY STOPPPP

8:40 "jumping to conclusions is a failure of character" wow that really is something Curtain would say

8:52 angry Reynie. He is in rare form

8:54 "and you helped put her there!" OOOOOOOH I SCREAMED

9:03 "I shouldn't have yelled" okay but you kinda should have Sticky needs a wake up call

9:06 "dont apologize. I like this side of you." IS THIS THE START OF REYNIE AND CONSTANCE HAVING THE BEST SIBLING RELATIONSHIP

9:22 "if you really scared about me, you'd want me to be happy instead of standing there telling me who I am" oh Sticky my dude I am NOT digging the manipulation

9:36 Reynie pulling out the BFF card!!! Also Reynie digging in his feet because he knows he's right!!!! That's great setup for his arc as a strategist later

9:48 "I'm telling you, Kate's fine." Narrator: Kate was not, in fact, fine.

10:03 "they'll notice." Sticky has made one (1) good point.

10:11 oh dear god are they fingerprinting this bitch

10:19 all this equipment, has no one walked up to the cliff and looked down???

10:23 HAHAHAHA WAIT THEY HAVEN'T

10:27 "we've been out here all night" that means Kate has been clinging to a cliff by her fingers and toes ALL NIGHT????

11:04 babe I know it's been a long night but maybe wait a second for them to actually leave before you climb back up

11:15 BUCKET NO

11:22 she has to go get it. There's no way someone wouldn't find that shit, it's in plain view

11:37 "WAS"???? WHY ARE WE SAYING WAS????? NO PAST TENSE HERE MILLIGAN'S FINE

11:43 "I only wish we could've known him better" NOOOP NONONO WE'RE NOT DOING THIS

11:47 Rhonda back at it as the voice of reason!!!!!

11:59 "I have never met a more competent swimmer" throwback to the baaAAAYYYY

12:10 MR. BENEDICT'S FACE HAHAHAHA HOLD ON LET ME TAKE A PICTURE OM DYING

12:11 NUMBER TWO, NOT HELPING

12:14 RHONDA'S FACE HAHENDJDKDN

12:33 "we will go rescue him" because of COURSE he would

12:36 Rhonda is his best wingwoman omfg she's so consistent

12:54 MISS PERUMAL??????

12:56 MISS PERUMAL!!!!!!

13:00 SHE KNOWS HE'S RIGHT GAKSHDBDHEKSNND

13:09 "how hard can it be? It's an island!" PFFFFT

13:16 oh SQ baby boy please get out of there

13:25 "I certainly have my own suspicions" he said, looking at SQ why are you looking at SQ like that

13:31 SQ GET OUT OF THERE PLEASE IS2G

13:36 here we fuckin go

13:43 the captions have the f in forest capitalized like it's this special place

13:43 new hc that the Forest is a magical place like pixie hollow

13:57 TWO THINGS: 1. YES stand up for yourself baby!!!! 2. Shepard Quaid? Interesting! I don't think we ever got SQ's full name in the books, I hope TLS made that decision!

14:08 your "father hat"??? Oh my gosh shut the fuck up right there don't even continue

14:16 oh yeah real fuckin cute put on your "steward of this institution hat" and call that a good reason to be a shit person

14:43 "No." GOOD FOR HIMMMM GOOD JOB SQ

15:03 Kate's struggling right by the shore where a certain someone would be returning after a very hard swim, it would be a great time for a meeting wouldn't you think

15:09 KATE THE GREAT

15:11 "THE TRAPESE GODDESS" I WILL REFER TO HER AS NOTHING ELSE

15:26 sorry but that green screen of her falling was kinda funny

15:28 soooooo is someone, a very certain someone, gonna catch her...??????

15:36 YEEEAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH

15:43 IS THIS IT????@?@?!?

15:46 awww poor baby girl you can tell how tired she is

15:46 just putting this out there they look so good in frame together

15:46 the actor who plays Milligan is fucking huge in stature so I wasn't sure how that would go but it looks so good

16:00 THE WAY HE'S LOOKING AT HER WITH HIS HAND ON HER SHOULDER I CANT DO THISSSSS

16:20 "keep going." 😭😭😭😭😭

16:23 "you dont understand." Ohhhh I think he does

16:25 "I think I do." What did I tell you, he's got your back babygirl

16:45 I'm so glad she's talking this out, and with Milligan of all people

17:01 it makes so much sense for Kate to feel alone in that situation, and when Kate feels anything less than positive she goes and does something, whatever that something is.

17:05 "So.. I...." "fell off a cliff and nearly died." Thanks for putting things into perspective Milligan

17:05 Milligan is such a good dad stop

17:19 "most of the way" is an understatement LMFAO

17:29 I'm so glad we know the intimate details of Milligan's illustrious swimming abilities 😂 out of all the new things wfrom the show that one wasnt on my radar

WAIT WAIT HOLD UP DID THE REST OF MY LIVEBLOG NOT SAVE

How DARE

[chiseler]

The Weeder in God’s Garden

A moral crusader from his early years, Anthony Comstock was born in New Canaan, Connecticut in 1844. His father, Thomas, was a prosperous farmer who also owned two sawmills. While the family had plenty of money, it was through the influence of Comstock’s fervent Congregationalist mother Polly, who like her husband had descended from Puritan stock, that the seven Comstock children led very austere lives marked by hard work, religious instruction, and precious little fun. Among his siblings, Anthony was the only one who clung fiercely to his mother’s fire and brimstone sensibilities. Polly died when Anthony was ten, but by then he knew full well Satan was a very real force in the world, and the only way to stay right with God was to remain pure in thought and deed, resisting the ever-present temptations presented by the Prince of Lies. Alcohol, tobacco, gambling and especially sex were all tickets straight to Hell, a belief he inflicted on everyone around him. This made him, no doubt, a very annoying child.

As a student in the local public school, Comstock never got a firm grasp on reading or spelling, which he considered useless anyway. He also found his growing sense of moral outrage enflamed by his fellow students, those godless little miscreants, who among other things would surreptitiously pass around ads for packs of those French playing cards with the pictures of the girls on them. No, the only education he needed he learned through the Old Testament stories his mother had read him, those tales of a vengeful God and the awful fate awaiting sinful, wicked men who ally themselves with the forces of evil.

When the Civil War broke out, Comstock, then 19, volunteered for the union army and was packed off to Florida. Much to his horror, he quickly discovered that certain Northern businesses, hoping to ease the burden of those proud soldiers willing to sacrifice everything in defense of, well, whatever it was, were in the habit of delivering shipments of not only whiskey and tobacco to the camps, but pornography as well. Although he saw precious little action, he immediately became an enormous pain in the ass to the fellow soldiers in his regiment. Forget about the Confederate army—it was the smoking, drinking, cursing and gambling among those in camp with him that would prove their downfall, and he let them know it on a daily basis. He would claim in his diary to have converted two or three of his fellow soldiers to the ways of righteousness, promising Comstock they would neither drink nor chew tobacco for the duration of the war. But given the evidence of his diary entries, it seems Comstock’s own wartime vice was porn.

In a 1863 diary entry he wrote: “Again tempted and found wanting…Sin, sin. Oh how much peace and happiness is sacrificed on thy altar.” Other entries make it clear the early morning temptations he failed to resist took the form of self abuse.

(In psychological terms, as history has shown time and again, Comstock’s weakness for porn is hardly a shock considering his coming crusade.)

Comstock was not exactly a wholly freelance operator when it came to his wartime proselytizing. He allied himself with The Christian Commission, a project spearheaded by the YMCA which sent missionaries to the front in order to try and save the souls of both Confederate and Union soldiers. His association with the Christian Commission would prove very profitable in the years following the war.

After leaving the army, Comstock moved to New York and took a job at a dry goods store in Manhattan. While most commentators seem baffled by Comstock’s decision to move to the very heart of American vice, a growing dirty metropolis where taverns, gambling join’s, contraceptive devices, prostitutes and erotic literature were all plentiful and accessible, his motivation as a crusader made the move an obvious one. If your self-appointed mission is to stamp out vice, then you go where the vice is.

And sure enough, the bookseller next door to the dry goods store where Comstock worked, a Mr. Conroy, did a brisk business selling pornographic pictures and erotica to those heathens deaf to the word of the Lord. Understandably outraged by this, Comstock entered the store, purchased an obscene book, brought it straight to the police and then led them to the man who sold it to him.

Although the police took Conroy into custody, the bookseller was soon free again and back to his godless business. Every time Comstock demanded the smut merchant be arrested, he was freed again in a matter of hours, convincing Comstock (and correctly) the cops were in cahoots with the city’s purveyors of vice, though this epiphany in no way tempered his holy mission.  

Entrapment not being a major legal roadblock in the late 19th century, Comstock would use the same technique—making an illicit purchase, then fingering the seller—to wage his one-man war om smut peddlers throughout the city.

His tireless crusade soon not only earned Comstock coverage in the local papers, in 1872 it also brought him to the attention of the founders of the YMCA. It was the YMCA’s Christian Commission, after all, which had pushed for an amendment to the 1865 postal bill making it a misdemeanor to send obscene material through the mail. Impressed by Comstock’s efforts to eradicate vice, the YMCA’s brass began introducing the young zealot to a number of wealthy and powerful men around the city who who likewise felt something needed to be done about New York’s shocking moral degradation. Comstock seemed to be just the reformist warrior they were looking for. With their financial backing and political connections supporting him, Comstock founded The New York Society for the Suppression of Vice.

Under the guise of the NYSSV, and with the enthusiastic encouragement of local and federal politicians, wealthy conservatives, and evangelicals, Comstock expanded his efforts, demanding the confiscation of not only blatantly pornigraphic materials and the arrest of those who sold them, but the banning of books, artwork and plays he deemed obscene, though his definition of “obscene” was so broad and so vague it essentially boiled down to “anything Comstock didn’t like.” Over the years this would include medical textbooks, classic literature and newspaper editorials condemning his campaign. The efforts to ban works of art and literature willy-nully came to be known, in a term generally if inaccurately attributed to George Bernard Shaw, as “Comstockery.”

Although Comstock did have any number of outspoken enemies around town, especially among early civil libertarians and women’s rights groups, no one seemed capable of stopping, or even curtailing, his efforts. Because of this, his sense of personal invincibility grew, as did his political clout. People were scared to death of him, even if they hated him and everything he stood for. Cross Comstock, and you could find yourself in prison for sending a Mother’s Day card.

It’s been argued that Comstock’s war on obscene material was, at it’s core, really a war against contraception and abortion, given he argued that the reading of obscene materials inevitably led to the sort of behavior that would bring contraception and abortion into play. Inspired by the 1865 postal law, with the help of his political backers, in 1873 what came to be known as The Comstock Act was passed. The law not only forbade sending obscene material through the mail, but any product or information related to contraception or abortion. Three years later, the Comstock Act (aka The Comstock Law) was amended, its powers greatly expanded. The amended version read:

"Every obscene, lewd, or lascivious book, pamphlet, picture, paper, writing, print or other publication of an indecent character, and every article or thing designed or intended for the prevention of conception or procuring of abortion, and every article or thing intended or adapted for any indecent or immoral use, and every written or printed card, circular, book, pamphlet, advertisement, or notice of any kind giving information, directly or indirectly, where, or how, or of whom, or by what means, any of the hereinbefore mentioned matters, articles, or things may be obtained or made, and every letter upon the envelope of which, or postal card upon which, indecent, lewd, obscene, or lascivious delineations, epithets, terms, or language may be written or printed, are hereby declared to be non-mailable matter, and shall not be conveyed in the mails, nor delivered from any post-office, nor by any letter-carrier.”

After the Act was passed, Comstock was made a Special Agent of the US Postal Service, a position that gave him police powers and the right to carry a gun. Although he received no pay as a postal inspector, it was a position he undertook with gusto, as it granted him the power to make his own arrests without bringing those corrupt cops into it. Returning to the same technique he first used to nab that smut peddler Conroy, Comstock, under a false name, would order material through the mail that was covered under his namesake law, and upon receiving it, would order the arrest of the seller, who would then be charged with a federal offense. This included the publisher of anatomy textbooks, two journalists who had written a piece about the sexual improprieties of a well-known religious figure, even one activist who, as a test, had sent some of the Bible’s racier passages through the mail.

In Charles Gallaudet’s 1913 biography, Anthony Comstock, Fighter: Some Impressions of a Lifetime Adventure in Conflict with the Powers of Evil, Comstock would boast he had destroyed 284,000 pounds of printing plates used to create obscene books, 15 tons worth of printed material, nearly 100,000 “articles made of rubber for immoral purposes,” and millions of pornographic images.

It’s also been rumored, and I wouldn’t be in the least surprised if it was true, that in the process of destroying all that material, Comstock quietly squirreled away a massive secret personal library of confiscated books and images, which he would freely share with his wealthy and powerful friends

By his own account, Comstock arrested some four thousand people over the course of his four-decade career as a “weeder in God’s garden,” as he termed himself. Of these, no case received more press than the arrest of D.M. Bennett, a Free Thinker and publisher of The Truth Seeker magazine. As noted in its first issue, the magazine sought to promote "science, morals, free thought, free discussions, liberalism, sexual equality, labor reform progression, free education, and whatever tends to elevate and emancipate the human race." This, needless to say, did not include religious zealots or self-righteous political opportunists, and so found itself in Comstock’s crosshairs.

Comstock had Bennett arrested for both sending a pamphlet advocating Free Love through the mail, and fore writing an editorial for his magazine entitled “An Open Letter to Jesus Christ.” At the close of the highly-publicized trial, Bennett was found guilty and  sentenced to thirteen months in prison for violating The Comstock Act.

Comstock was also mighty proud his efforts had driven at least fifteen lost souls (again by his own reckoning) to commit suicide. One was an abortionist who’d been arrested for giving a bottle of pills to Comstock, after he approached her claiming to be the husband of a woman whose current pregnancy was putting her life at risk. Another was Ida Craddock, the author of several explicit marriage manuals, who was arrested after mailing them to her naive and confused customers. Craddock killed herself the day before reporting to federal prison, leaving behind a blistering note condemning Comstock and his supporters.

Comstock’s final arrest and court case came in January of  1915, when he arrested Bill Sanger, husband of pioneering feminist and contraception-rights activist Margaret Sanger, for distributing her pamphlet “Family Limitation.” Like most of those targeted by Comstock, Sanger was found guilty.

Although Comstock took aim at some worthwhile targets in his war on vice, including medical quackery and economic fraud, he will always be remembered as America’s foremost book-burner, a man whose influence would linger for half a century after his 1915 death. His postmortem influence over what Americans could and could not legally read or see would only be broken in June of 1964, when the Supreme Court ruled Henry Miller’s Tropic of Cancer was not obscene.

Yeah, Anthony Comstock was a real asshole, a man utterly incapable of minding his own goddamn business. But like Joe McCarthy he still has his ardent supporters among the pro-life and evangelical set, pinch-faced types who pine for the days when abortionists were jailed and books they didn’t understand were burned. In fact one of Comstock’s devotees recently published a graphic novel based on the 1913 biography, which itself was turned into a crudely animated film for those True Believers who remain as illiterate as Comstock himself.

by Jim Knipfel

[sabine-leo]

A smile to remember

Author: @sabine-leo

Chapters: 3/?

Genre: Fluff and Humor

Note: Thank you so much for your likes, reblogs and comments. You don´t know how much i aprecciate them! Hope you enjoy chapter 3 !! 

                                                -Chapter 3-

The one where you watch a short movie in your head…and feel guilty  

 Totally in thought you put away a toy that was left on the ground. Standing by that shelf you grin inwardly.

He is reading again. Blimey, he is here again. Gosh, that voice. He could read the manual for a toaster and it would sound awesome. Was it rude to get him to read? He seemed not to worried about it. But that spark in his eyes. 

You were lost in your thoughts as a big hand lightly landed on your shoulder. Too big to be from a child or any of your co-worker. You jump a little and turn around.

“Oh, sorry. I didn´t mean to scare you.” Tom was standing in front of you and grinning as if he wasn´t sorry at all. He put his hands in his pockets and teetered on his feet. His head sinks down a bit and he looks up at you if that is even possible with him being a head taller then you. One hand left his pocket and messed up his curly hair.

“If you were a child, I’d think you had something to confess.”  Tom gave his signature laugh and looked into your eyes. “I guess you are right. I may have to confess something.” “Out with it!” you try to say in a stern voice. He was about to talk but stops to laugh inwardly and ruffle his hair another time.

“I may or may not have promised the kids to be back tomorrow and read another chapter. Mischievous little ones!” “Says the God of Mischief on screen.” You retort. He laughed out loud this time. And there it was, that big boyish grin which was imprinted on your eyelids since last Monday.

“I hope that doesn´t cause any problems... With me being here to read?!” You have to compose yourself for a second after that smile and shake your head. “No, no problems at all. Just be here around the same time as today and I´ll be happy to let you in and read to the children.”

His nod and thankful smile made you smile too.  

“Then… I´ll be seeing you again.” He repeats his words from last week… again in the voice of Loki and leaves backwards to help Dylan get ready to go home. You shake your head laughing quietly.

Is this becoming a theme?

Some minutes later Dylan hugs your leg and says his goodbyes. Tom is standing right behind him “See you tomorrow Mrs (Y/L/N).”  “Have a good afternoon Dylan. You too, Mr Hiddleston” You smile at each other. Dylan grabs Toms hand and starts walking. But Tom stops him for a second. “Wait, before I forget. This is for you.” He hands you a folded paper. “Thank you.” You say without looking at it and waving back at Dylan. Dylan sends the sweetest smile your way and holds out his arms over his head, looking at Tom. Tom looks at him “What are you doing buddy. Are we walking out like this?” He holds his arms up like Dylan does. Dylan giggles. “Silly uncle Tom!” You laugh quietly as Dylan keeps standing that way.

“I wanna fly out like a superhero! Like THOOOOOR!” he was giggling away as if that was a secret, shared between them. “Dylan, Dylan, Dylan…I told you, you picked the wrong brother!” With those words Tom grabbed his nephew and turned him upside down. “Now you will walk out on your hands! Thor… please!” He added playfully abash. Tom looked at you from his upside down state and shrugged his shoulders. “Uncle Loki is a…” he was searching for the word. “…Villian” Tom laughed and carried his nephew out…upside down.

Before you get the chance to take a close look at the paper in your hand you get called from Clara. She needs your help in the kitchen. You tuck the paper in your bag and get to work again.

The walk home hours later after work was a chilly but nice one. At your door you rummage in your bag for your keys. “Ah there they…” you fish out the paper from Tom. Curiosity finally gets the better of you and you unfold it. The laugh that comes out of your mouth is whole heartedly and loud. Looking back at you from the piece of paper was a gorilla. Hand drawn.

Signed with 

Tom

 You unlock your door and pin this masterpiece in your hand onto your magnetic board in the living room. Shaking your head, still laughing.  Sitting down after you get yourself something out of the fridge you think about the day and can´t help the smile that won´t come off of your face.

Adorable, silly man. With a voice of velvet and dark melting chocolate.

And you´ve only heard him reading a children’s book. You really haven´t seen nothing yet. Thoughts of him reading something more for adult ears creep up on you. Like your romance book for example. The way he would sit in an armchair. Adjust his glasses and look at you when pausing. Suddenly you feel a hot flash going through you. And a whole movie was playing in your head before you knew it. How could listening to somebodys voice be so affecting?

Picturing him in that armchair of yours, next to the reading lamp. Leaning back comfortably. His long legs crossed. That knowing smile, of how much he can affect you with his voice, toying with his lips. The pause before the protagonists’ kiss. This rumbling in the back of his throat that he´d make. Goosebumps break out on your skin. The hair at the back of your neck stirs.

“Stop it!” You jump out of your seat. “I can´t do this. That´s so rude.” You chastise yourself.

Going over to the sink you flash your face with some cold water. Get a grip (Y/N) this can´t be happening. He´s somehow a client and a decent human being who shouldn’t be reduced to his looks and his voice. Maybe you should start reading a thriller instead of that romance. It´s messing with your head!

What you wouldn´t acknowledge to yourself… it wasn´t the book messing with your head.

It was Tom.

Not that far away Tom was sitting at his table staring at a script he needed to read. But the words he read couldn´t get a hold in his brain. He is thinking of you. Trying to imagine what your reaction to his drawing was. He bit his lip, tossing the script on the table. Tomorrow he´d go read to the kids again. And hopefully exchange some words with you. But for that to really happen he needed to finish reading. He got up, made himself a cup of tea and tried anew.

The cold water helped. At least a tiny bit. After discarding your clothes, you take a shower and change into a comfy t-shirt and yoga pants. Day slowly turns into night and you lie awake for quite a while. Eventually sleep finds you. But your dreams revolve around a man who probably needs to get an excuse for your behaviour tonight. Good thing that he doesn´t know what you thought.

The next day at work you find yourself looking at your watch. Would he show up? Would he keep his word? Everything was ready. The book lay ready next to a pillow, the kids were at their best behaviour today. You thought you heard the door some minutes ago, but that could´ve been someone else walking in or out. You sit down to go over some files that needed to be updated. Clara was looking after the children so you could concentrate.

Tom walked in and made a little detour into the kitchen. Charming as he was no co-worker of yours could say no to his request to put a little something into the pocket of your jacket. As he enters your room, he smiles your way. But you´re so deep into the paperwork that you don´t notice. Quietly he sits down at the pillow in the far corner of the room and watches you. Post its going into files. Notes written down. In his eyes you look intense but so lovely nibbling on your pen. He could just sit here and watch you for the rest of the day, but It doesn´t take long for the kids to find him. Soon he starts reading to them.

Eventually you look up from the files in front of you and notice the quiet room. Since your attention is no longer on the paper work your head turns almost out of its own will to your left. A little almost shy wave coming your way lets you smile. “Hi.” Tom mouths. You incline your head a little and mouth back “Hi”

“Tooom, don´t stop!” a little boy yelps. Tom excuses himself and finishes the chapter.  Hugs and high fives were given in this little group surrounding Tom before he stands up and arranges his dishevelled hair. You see that he´s walking over to you. “Hello Mrs (Y/L/N)” he holds out his hand and waits for you to take it. “Hi Mr Hiddleston” You take his hand and he tucks you up from your chair. “We finished the chapter. And I got a new request from James...and Dylan.” Tom laughed lightly. “They want me to read The Dschungel Book” You look into his smiling eyes and then over to James.

“You don´t have to do that. You´re surely a busy man who doesn´t have time to read as much as you did the last days!” “Probably not every day, but for the next months I could try to be here for Storytime…say…one day every week?!” “Only if you are willing and it doesn´t cost you to much of your precious time.” “Don´t worry. I quite like spending time with you… here… I´m mean with Dylan!” he spluttered.

Throughout this conversation your hand was in his. It seems neither of you had noticed it.  

Tags for @theoneanna & @shegatsby Hope you enjoyed <3 

[musgo]

5 6 19

thank you so much for sending sdcjnskjdn i uhhhh recorded all of these basically immediately after you sent them but then i listened back and felt like i suonded so annoying and went on too long and my pronunciation wasnt very clear so i postponed posting them sdjnvdjs i decided to transcribe what i said (under read more) cause that makes me feel better abt it. 

5. I’ll talk about what I did today

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0z7uDDcKzjQ

6. I’ll talk about something I’m obsessed with/currently interested in

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0iLq52dlB1y  (the very good video i talk about: https://youtu.be/-6lMD9h_ix4)

19. I’ll talk about something I’m proud of

https://vocaroo.com/i/s0lPPvmwbvbI this ones the most ebarassing cause i decided to have fun and try switching to my alternative, vaguely british-inspired “accent”,,,, also the cohesion ... she just wasnt there.

5. today i went to college. i was really late and i missed the first class. i only attended one class today, cause i only have two classes per day rn - thats definitely gonna change next semester but anyway - the class was really good, the subject is Introduction to Literary Studies (i took a while cause i had to translate it from portuguese) but um yeah the class was about why humans create fiction. why humans.. you know.. how humans...... Human Nature is such that we are unsatisfied with reality and we create other lives and other experiences through fiction. and it’s not necessarily that we don’t like our reality, it could just be that it’s not enough; like, you could rly like your reality but you still have an innate, like.. NEED for experiencing Other Things that you couldnt in your own life. thats basically what the argument was, it was really interesting. and i rly like the teacher, she’s rly cool. so after that class i just had some lunch DELICIOUS the food in my college is so good ugh i love it so much and it’s just 2 reais for         for lunch when you’re a student there and it’s so good i’m.. ugh it’s the best part of college        cause its rly rly rly cheap for us students and it’s really good like It didnt even have to be that good cause it’s so cheap but it’s REALLY GOOD hh     um... yeah i love it  AND THEN after having lunch i went to the library which is a luh--another thing i rly like about my college cause  it’s the biggest library in my university.   so.. i study in the universtiy of são paulo which is one of the biggest universities in brasil .... so.. the campus is like rly huge and .. [i realized i was just explaining what a university is fsr?????? ]  uhhhh yeah i went to my library. [????? MY LIBRARY??? i dont own a library.] and i love my library theres like. i love to just walk around and see.    The Books cause theres like.. so such interesting books. and like books in so many languages... ugh it’s amazing so i went there to actually find some english learning books and i did , cause im trying to teach my sister english andt..    yeah i found this session-- Section. where theres all these    language learning books so theres like             a couple shelves that are like just english learning books and then theres a shelf thats just like japanese learning and then a couple shelves for russian   thens ome korean  some frickin SANSKRIT  latin ancient greek just everything . theeres also like indigenous south american languages which i was really happy to see and im definitely gonna check that out eventually but for today i just took the english ones cause ..  yeah i cant really  i dont really that much time and everyone for all that right now with college ..     AND THEN the rest of my day was that i left my phone!! cause i went to take the bus and  i left my pjhone on the bus stop.      i feel like my entonation is really annoying right now but yeah.. so yeah i left my phone on the bus stop and i was so scared.  i went back to the bus stop    got off the bus [wrong order] and it wasnt there , i went in the building - my college has 3 buildings for the different courses - i went in one of them cause i assumed it would be there because it was the closest to the bus stop so if somebody found my phone on the bus stop they wouldve taken it there and  left it there with the recepcionist or whatever so i went there and it wasnt there so iwas like “oh no its not here . maybe i left it in the bus instead of the bus stop and i just didnt notcie that it like fell from my pocket or sth.” so i took the bus again and went to the terminal which is where it would be if somebody found it in the bus and gave it to someone responsible for that stuff. but it obviously wasnt there. so i went home, very sad, This whole thing lasted like 2 hours and then its like over an hour for me to come home from college cause yk i live in a neighbouring city which is pretty close but its still an hour to an hour and a half everyday to go and ..... to go to and fro. is that how you say that expression idk . ...    and then when i got home!!!! i wnt in the facebook group of my college [course] to see if somebofy had posted something about a lost phone and Yes They Had they posted a photo of my phone and i was like oh thank god so im gonna get it back tomorrow. now im home im looking at my cat. occasionally looking after my nephews and my niece. and thats my day

6. i was sitting here thinking.. trying to think of something   and i remembered that--..............   Cause its rly hard for me to answer these questions where itsj ust one thing and i just..................          i just draw a blank whenever i get these questions but im just gonna say something that happened recently cause it was like : yesterday i found this video on youtube of a    an .. anemone? Swimming     like this starfish touches it and it like Changes Form it Elongates and just starts shaking to like get away. and its amazing it reminded me of how much i like Cnidarians(????)  the phylum .  the group of animals that includes jellyfish and corals, basically.   its just so cool like they alternate like one of the.... oh my gosh my house is so loud uhh...       yeah they like its really crazy i dont actually know a lot about it but i just think its so cool like the corals .. they.. reproduce.. and like.. their offspring sometimes is A Jellyfish . and then the Jellyfish sometimes produce Corals.   cause you look at the two things and they dont rly look that similar but they Are basically one and the same, and theyre Animals both of them just the same.  theyre just like inverted when you think about. its really cool and i didnt know that corals could MOVE like that just Get Out like... DeTach . from their thing and just start Swimming!! i had no idea that was a thing but yeah basically something that im obsessed with is um animals like that. the animals that arent chordates. so like sponges, cnidarians,  frickin ummmm echinoderms. You Can look at My Tags Page i have that stuff listed. i love it cause its so fun when you think about how theyre animals so theyre like closer to us structurally and cellularly than to other things.

19. you know. when people are mad at me for doing something not as fast as one possibly could or somethin like not understanding what they said or doing something a little bit wrong like following instructions a little wrong and you know when its not rly that important and people get mad and me for that and stuff.. i just.. i feel really happy that i'm not like that. cause i feel like most people around me.. they ARE like that like they just get so mad.. they allow themselves to get so mad about small things.. and i dont know i like that im pretty patient and i dont mind having to wait or to instruct someone a few times and correct them until they get it right and teach them and... all that. i dont know like i feel like.. idk im proud of myself for not like picking fights and getting mad at people for things that dont rly matter cause.. idk people around me do that a lot it makes me rly sad like... idk thats something i like abt myself i think i can like I'll feel angry sometimes and dont get me wrong anger is very necessary and its a very good thing when it is like... whats that word? its like... freakin.. deserved [i think the word i was looking for is "warranted"] like be angry at freakin capitalism or sth freakin racism you know set people on fire for that kinda stuff. but for small things on daily life i think people let it get to them too easily. and just create.. idk. it makes me sad so im happy that i dont have a lot of these impulses in these situations and when i do feel peeved from something petty im able to hold back cause im like.. its not worth it its just... this is so small. i'm.... you know? its not worht it.

[paintedface]

mistletoe kisses

summary: somebody decided to go a little overboard with the mistletoe in your apartment

pairing: bucky x reader 

word count: 627 words

warnings: none

notes: thanks to my main hoe @buckys-fossil for beta-ing this and helping me with the insp and writing it. this was basically written by her tbh. you can think of this fic as canon or non-canon, it can suit either! I’m also so sorry for not posting a fic in a while, I just got a new computer and I didn’t have my old one to upload it, and I’ve come down with a damn cold. but hopefully I’m back and ready to post more holiday fics!

feel free to put some holiday/christmas/hanukkah prompts into my inbox, these are the only prompts for fics that I’ll accept! I can’t guarantee that I’ll get to all of them, but yeah, send some in!

Permanent Tags are OPEN | masterlist 

You wake up with the sheets tousled beside you, evidence that your boyfriend had already woken up. Strange, because he’ll take any chance to sleep in, and cling onto you.

Rubbing your eyes, you pull your dressing gown around you and put on some fuzzy slippers before padding out into the hallway. A flash of green catches your eye, and you pause, an eyebrow lifting.

“Bucky?!” You call, looking up at the ceiling, confused, as you head in the direction of the living room.

“Yeah, doll?” Bucky appears in front of you, a blanket draped over his singlet and boxers, an innocent look on his face that can only mean the opposite of what his demeanour is.

You gesture towards the mistletoe lined up on the ceiling. “Did you put this stuff here?”

Your boyfriend grins mischievously as he loops a metal arm around your waist. “I didn’t even notice it was there.” He chuckles softly, and you roll your eyes, before letting him peck your lips.

“You’re such a fucking sap.” You smile warmly, tucking a strand of brown hair behind his ear.

His eyes glimmer with a soft light, and you narrow yours when you see the grin spreading on his face. “Bucky, is this all the mistletoe in the apartment?”

All he does is wink, turning on his heel and going back into the living room.

“Bucky! BUCKY!” You yell after him, and you can hear his low laughter from a room away.

“Oh, would you look at that.” A voice murmurs in your ear and you shriek, whipping around, instinctively slapping whatever’s behind you.

“Fuck, Y/N, it’s just me!” Bucky groans, hands flying to cup his stinging, red cheek.

“Bucky, you know better than to scare me, oh god, I’m so sorry!” You squeak, pulling his hands away to run your fingers along the slightly swelling skin. He chuckles, but winces a little, reassuring you with a soft smile.

“It’s alright, babe.” He places his metal hand over his cheek, sighing at the cool contact with his skin. You snicker, crossing your arms.

“So what’d you want me to look at?” You ask curiously, and immediately, he looks up. You follow his line of gaze, groaning when your eyes land on another sprig of mistletoe.

“You placed that every five metres, right?” He doesn’t respond, only pressing his lips to yours, smiling against your mouth.

“You bet that every time,” Bucky whispers, “you step under one of those mistletoe branches, I’m going to take advantage of it.”

“Oh really? You think that you can get away with that?” You lean forward before hissing, “well, you can.”

“Buck, this is getting out of hand, what the fuck are you doing?!” You squeak as he wraps an arm around your waist and pulls you against his chest, rendering your escape attempts useless.

“What’s the time?” He asks suddenly, and you cock your head in confusion.

“What? Don’t you have your watch…?” Your eyes trail down to where his watch would usually sit on his metal wrist, but instead, all that you can see is a band of fucking mistletoe around his wrist.

“Oh, come on, that’s unfair!” You protest, as he raises his left arm over the both of you and kisses you sweetly.

“I told you that I’d take advantage of it.” He smirks, snickering at your pout.

“You’re such a fucking dork, Bucky.”

“Correction,” He interjects, with his hand still raised, “I’m your dork.”

You playfully roll your eyes at his comment and pull the mistletoe off his wrist, grabbing a fistful of his singlet as he walks you backwards. You’re both in fits of uncontrollable laughter as you drag him down with you onto the couch, his lips on top of yours.

permanent tags (OPEN): @vibranium-arm / @gallifreyansass / @omalleysgirl22 / @girlwith100names / @buckysinthesinbin / @cameronahugenerd / @imsecretlyromanburki / @megan-atthedisco-blog / @buckys-fossil / @iamwarrenspeace / @sofiathearab / @alohabucky / @buckyappreciationsociety / @debbielovesbucky / @metal-armed-dino / @helloitscrowley / @sebastian-stans-thighs / @fantastic-fantasy-fanfics / @itallavengers  / @feelmyroarrrr / @mjuikoli / @meganliiz / @yoyolovesbucky / @srgntjbarnes / @carriefish-er / @jurassicbarnes / @ssweet-empowerment / @shieldagentofthemonth / @palaiasaurus64 / @i-love-superhero / @infiniteholland / @ailynalonso15 / @bywonater / @vanillaicecrusher / @titty-teetee / @breezy1415 / @captain-amelia-bradley / @thewinterswimmer / @bioticgoddess / @thewonderfulworldofafangirl / @whatthehellisacastiel / @memory-of-a-goldfish / @steves-bitch / @bandbooktvaddict / @edgyroses / @buckysmaingirl / @thefridgeismybestie / @cumonbucky

(strike through means I couldn't tag you, sorry!)

[alliesweetsong]

Peer Pressure Pt. 2

(Continued RP from Here)

“Remember that stress doesn't come from what's going on in your life. It comes from your thoughts about what's going on in your life.” -Andrew J. Bernstein (Warning long post, but worth it!) 

Alyssa lifts a hand and offers a wave at the Rendorei “Evenin Allie. ‘Ow you ‘olding up?” she asks in a curious manner.

There it was again. The question that could be answered truthfully or lied about. Her mind races for a brief instant as she thinks about how to go about answering the question. “Well enough I suppose, a bit worried if I’m being honest. But before that, I thought I should warn you Gareth should be coming to see you about the engagement rings.” she says warmly. Remembering she is a jeweler she had discussed this Gareth and thought it would be neat to get the rings made by a friend.

Alyssa lifts an eyebrow.  "Worried?  What about?"  The concerned look settles into an easy smile though.  "Thanks f'the warnin'.  I'll be ready t'do the work.  More than 'appy to for the two o'you."

Allie smiles warmly and nods. It was nice to know she could give the younger ward some piece of mind. The woman had been through a decent amount herself recently and wanted to help ease some of her own stress if she could. “"I need to talk to you about Raen. What can you tell me about her? Any friends outside of myself, you or Damien? She isn't answering her comm, i sent her a letter and no response from either way. She moved out of her room in a haste and she quit and the pig and whistle..I am concerned for her safety Nobody has seen her since Damien was taken."

Alyssa sighs softly at that, settling back against the stonework and crossing her arms averting her hazel eyed gaze downwards. "Really?  Fuck me I should've kept my 'ounds on 'er. I dropped everythin' once we found Damien. They tracked 'er as far as Raven 'ill.  Can't much count me as a friend in this, if I was I'd 'ave done more. M'not the kind of friend she needs.” 

Allie blinks in shock at the revelation that Alyssa knows someone that also knows Raen.  "Does this friend have a name? I am starting my own investigation, I can't rest until I know she’s okay Alyssa.”

Allie bites her lip and shakes her head inhaling through her nose. She disliked the fact that someone thought they were not good enough. "Oh dear don't say that, she needs all the friends she can get. Any information you can give me helps. did you ever see her with anybody else? I know she did some drugs."

Alyssa maintains her posture on the stonework, lightly shifting her weight she looks at the Rendorei slowly She and I 'ave a mutual friend. 'e 'asn't seen 'er either though.”

Allie blinks in shock at the revelation that Alyssa knows someone that also knows Raen.  "Does this friend have a name? I am starting my own investigation, I can't rest until I know she’s okay Alyssa.”

From there the two went back and forth, Allie pushing hard for  information and the Gilnean dancing around the question as delicately as humanly possible. Not getting the hint, Allie pushed and pushed. Her questions were deliberate if not a bit forced but also nearing desperation. There was a link, and she wanted to know who it was.

Alyssa thinks about it for a moment as a small twitch develops on the corner of her mouth "No."  She offers finally. "F'both your sakes. F'everyone's. You'll just 'ave t'trust me on that."

Allie lightly recoils her head blinking in both shock and horror. Why is she denying her the name? "Alyssa, you can come with me to meet him if that is what you want. Nothing will happen, I just have some questions, please. Raen is a friend of mine. I need to know she’s okay."

“I 'ear you, and I agree.  I want t'know she's okay too.  Not the person you need.” Alyssa replies looking at Allie in a matter-of-fact manner.

Allie felt her heart plummet and her blood boiling, she didn’t have time for games. The high elf could be hurt, she could be getting tortured as they spoke. The very thought caused the rendorei to become nauseous.

Alyssa studies the woman across from her, smile fading a bit. “I know this is important t'you, y'can think what you want of me. M'not givin' the name."

“Open the fel wielder up, her secrets will spill on the floor”

"Yes this is important to me!” Allie says starting to raise her voice, the frustration was clearly evident. “She is one of the only people I have to connect with from home. and she is a friend. I would do the same for you or Damien." She says before rubbing her forehead and exhaling softly "You of all people should understand what it is like to miss home." Allie regretted saying that last part almost instantly, that was a cheap shot at the younger ward and she knew it. But she really needed the Gilnean to understand how serious she was even if it meant getting a demon summoned on her.

Alyssa glares daggers at the void elf. That clearly was the wrong thing to say. "That's low.  My 'ome doesn't exist anymore.  And I 'aven't got your thousand or whatever years t'see it rebuilt or reclaimed." she scowls

Allie bites her lip and puts one hand on her head and the other on her hip letting out a sigh "I am sorry Alyssa..that was wrong of me" she says before shaking her head "I will not stop until she’s found. You are both my friends. I just want to help her I am scared Alyssa. I can't lose anybody else.” she says softly lowering her voice

Alyssa runs fingers through her red hair trying to calm herself as well "Look. I can't give you the name. There are so so many reasons I can't. M'sorry. You will find 'er though, chasin' a dead end lead isn't goin' to make that 'appen."

Allie looks down absolutley heartbroken, never before had she had the feeling of complete and utter helplessness. Biting her lip the void elf nods and shrugs "Thanks Alyssa. Ill uh, keep looking. Gareth should be here tomorrow or tonight I am not sure." she says walking forward to give the woman a hug

The Gilnean embraces Allie in return, frustrated and a bit upset. "M'a disappointin' friend Allie. Don't 'ang your 'opes on me. M'always 'ere t'talk, but m'secrets run too deep f'most to deal with."

Allie lets go of the hug and cups the red heads cheek with her right hand lightly caressing it with her thumb "I have secrets to darling." she says before looking around as if she was about to do something. Refocusing she nods "Ill uh, see if I can find anything." she says softly

Surprised by such a familiar gesture, Alyssa nods remaining still has she looks into the elf’s skye blue eyes. "Allie.  M'just not willin' t'pay the personal cost givin' you that information.  M'sorry again."

Allie backs up as something about the way Alyssa worded that seemed off. Slightly tilting her head to the side the Rendorei folds her arms across the chest. “Is someone threatening to hurt you?” she asks in a curious but very serious manner.

Alyssa bites her lip hard, hard enough in fact that a red blossom can be seen as she carefully considers the question being asked of her. After a long pauses she finally shakes her head “No. Not like that.”

“Then what Alyssa? I promised Damien i would watch over you. What is going on?” Allie replies looking at the Gilnean in a pleading manner.

The statement gets a raised eyebrow from the redheaded warlock. "Did you? Gods below but that brother o'mine is protective. It's delicate. This is a situation I need t'andle m'self. M'not in any danger at the moment though."

Allie looks around and slowly stats backing up towards the door “Come, lets talk.” she says making sure they both weren’t being watch. Something seemed off and she intended to find out.

Alyssa frowns briefly and follows. Although she looked ready to protest she doesn’t and instead lets out a sigh and keeps pace with the Ren’dorei

Sitting down Allie gets comfortable and the two level with each other, Each one telling a dark secret that nobody would know, or could ever know. There was too much in both of their lives for these to ever see the light of day. Of course they debated, and argued, talked and finally argued some more. Each one wanting the same thing but wanted to go about it in different ways. Finally Allie blurts out a question that she think she already knew the answer to, the thought of causing her heart to jump out of her chest. As she began to listen to Alyssa explain her plans the rendorei began pacing around warlock in a focused manner.

"Damien told me there was one man, and one woman. and the woman was shot and killed.." she says looking at the back of Alyssa's head "The day after I came home, He told me the man said if he comes back he would kill everybody”

“'e won't 'ave the chance.” came the almost immediate reply back from Alyssa

Allie growls at that beginning to lose her cool. "Damnit Alyssa, if you know who did this we can protect you, what if Raen is already dead!?"

Alyssa stares at the elf in a stubborn fashion this entire conversation was beginning to become pointless. “ 'e's mine.  I've already paid dearly, morally and emotionally t'get that.  When I 'ave my 'ands on 'im, y'can be certain 'e'll tell me where Raen is” she says in a defiant manner

Allie shakes her head and bites her lip as she moves to pick up her belongings. “I just hope its not too late for her Alyssa.” she says as she heads to the door “Shadows Raen, where are you?” she asks looking up at the ceiling in an exasperated manner. Letting out a sigh she looks over her shoulder at the Gilnean “The day you do it, I want to be there. Let me have atleast that.” she says softly clearly upset at this point.

Alyssa bites her lip once more and looks at Allie “I’ll think about it.” she says softly.

That wasn’t good enough. Allie wanted to say more, to threaten her and to exploit her. To treat her as she had been treated off and on for the last several months. But to do so would mean to betray the warlocks trust, and their friendship and to abandon her promise to be loyal. Nodding instead, Allie grabs the doorknob “Have a good night dear, hope we talk soon.” she says before slowly opening the door. Walking out she could fel the tears falling down her cheek as she slowly closes the door with a soft click. She needed to get somewhere and just cry. Gareth couldn’t see her like that. Serelia, nobody. She had once again, failed someone she looked at as a friend.

Letting her feet carry her over the bridge thoughts raced through her head as she wipes her eyes

“Hello Mrs. Gareth Lyons.” Came the familiar voice of Sikona.

Stopping Allie inhales through her noise and forces the brightest smile she could on her face. “Hello Miss Emberlight.”

To be Continued...

@alyssa-ward @dardillien-ward @earendelduskmourn for mentions @thetobaccoman for vague mentions and relevance @sikonaluvs at the end <3 

[sunlightbi]

hi guys !! i promise i’ll do a proper follow forever later in 2018 when we survive 2017 but today i want to give a shout out to some amazing people whom i’m very proud to call my friends and best friends. all of my mutuals are extremely special but these ones mean the whole world to me as we always talk and laugh together and i’m pretty sure i’d die for every single one of them. i hold each one of you very close to my heart :’) so here’s a list of people that make me smile every day and also make my world brighter and my dash a better place !! (1. idk how long it takes im sorry i lov y’all 2. also idk why i have this summer pic as my header but happy new year i guess)

i’ll start with the most important person for on this website @alloutshirt. lisa, you’re truly my soulmate and i can’t even imagine my life without you now. you always make my happy by just liking random posts on my blog or tagging me in pure stuff. i just want you to know that i’d do anything for you, i care about you so so much and i don’t think i’ll ever stop. i hope you’ll always be happy because you’re too precious and incredible and you have my whole heart. i love you to the moon and back, baby :’) YOU’RE ALSO THE PRETTIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD DON’T FORGET THAT

@twofronteeth amal even tho you never check ur activity page and have a face like a goddess (no kidding im crying every time i see your selfies) somehow we are mutuals and friends, i still don’t know why the fuck you noticed me but that was the best day of my life. please please never change, you’re literally the cutest person i know and your spelling mistakes make you even cuter !! just the way you talk to ppl makes you cute idk how you do that. you truly deserved your nickname ‘baby honey’ and i’m very proud to call you that i love you

of course i can’t even imagine myself without Pure Squad even tho it exists like 3 minutes but !!!! these people are already so important to me that i cry every time we interact

@spaceboysweater arsh i swear i couldn’t love you more because you’re one of the purest people on this website. and ur laugh !!!!! oh my god this is the best thing i’ve ever heard i need it as my ringtone. i will love you forever, you always make me smile and i wanna hug you so tight !!!!!!!!!

@babieharrie ahhh karri you’re just the most adorable person ever and i love you so so so so much. we almost made it !!! almost started a gc aksjfgffkj. you are incredibly lovely and you have a special place in my heart even tho you hate cats which i still can’t believe oh my god

@rainbowsboa 1) where the fuck are you i miss you 2) i’ve never seen a blog with more posts than yours i swear i need hours to scroll through it. but bella you’re my sunshine and you always bring me happiness, i really enjoy talking to you and omg i just love you so much i’m sorry i’m crying

@bibi-harry becca i can’t even put into words how much you mean to me !!!!!! i appreciate it so much when you come to talk to me because you’re sad or feel alone. i’m really glad i can help because you’re too amazing and flawless to be sad ever. i just hope you’ll have the best 2018, i love you with my whole heart cupcake !!

@haryslytherin eleanor baby it feels like i’ve known you for ages, you’re such an incredible person even tho your blog is a mess aklsjkdh. i love talking to you, you’re a pure bean. please make more 1d edits in 2018 that’s a need for me !! your art is wonderful just as you :) also i hope in 2018 you won’t change your icon every day

@fireprooof le !!!! just as you said i can’t imagine my tumblr experience without you too (tbh that message made me cry i love you so much). you were one of my first larry mutuals actually and i’ll never forget how excited i was that day. and i was extremely happy when you messaged me and said you miss my likes !! that was iconique. your edits give me life, i’ve never seen anything more beautiful, i just want to make a whole sideblog to reblog everything you make.  hope you’ll have an amazing 2018, i love you endlessly :’)

@louieh ghadeer aka the most iconic fanfic writer i know ;);)));)) i know this had been a tough year for you but i hope 2018 will be much better !!! you deserve the best only, i love you so so much and appreciate you more than you could imagine. i wanna give you the world and the stars and the moon and everything pure in the universe !!!!! i just hope everything will be okay darling :)

@stylesappreciation flo even tho you forgot about me i’m still here like hachi bc i love you very much a lot. anyways !!! skldjdfbhdskl you’re one of the most iconic people i know and your edits make my heart melt, i cry every time you post something new. we don’t talk as much as we used to which is sad but that’s okay, i’d sill give you my liver and everything you want. hope 2018 will treat you well baby :) ( @nosuchblue take care of her !!! i love u too erin and wish you all the best in 2018)

@liamsgrammys and @blushlouie you just go together and i can’t tell you apart. we actually don’t talk but you two are the most iconic gays ever and i’m so glad to witness ur gay relationship and reblog ur gay selfies and cry my gay tears !!!! i hope 2018 will be amazing for you, i love you two so so much, this gay experience is very important for me

@rosesau syeda aka ome of the most popular binches ever. i’m shook that like everybody knows you??? wtf??? how you do that honestly. you’re truly iconique and i’m pretty sure you make everyone’s tumblr experience much better. your text posts are my favourite thing ever and i just love you so incredibly much !!!! have the best 2018 biatch

@honeyhaz jackie !!!! the most precious flower in the land, i adore you so much. i really really really love talking to you, you’re the loveliest person ever, i hope you’ll have a lot of friends in 2018 !! you deserve only pure things darling. you make my heart burst with love every time you appear on my dash and i would just like to clarify that i love you to the moon and back :’)

@iconichalo well your url just speaks for itself so !!! i only wanted to say that alex you’re really an amazing person and i’m hella glad that we met thanks to gorgeous people we both talk to. i hope in 2018 we’ll become closer because i really like you !!! wish you the best stuff in new year darling :)

@ann-fortunately maybe i’d love you more if you stopped exposing me !!!!! alsjddgdgdkdj nevermind i actually love you very much a lot, you’re a pure puppy and i just wish 2018 treats you really well. all the love my dear !!! (also pls make more edits)

@dreamsmp3 eden baby idk when you’ll see this but i just want you to know that it’s not the same without you here, you’re incredible and i hope you’re taking care of yourself !!!!! i’m still thinking about that post i made when i just saw you on my dash and i oliterally became so overwhelmed that wrote big ass paragraph about how much i love you on the verge of tears and tbh this is Mood. you make everything better and brighter and i just want to wish you the best things in 2018, you deserve the whole world my love :’)

@lwtrainbows gio !!!! i’m so happy that i’m friends with arsh’s soulmate aldjfhfgjn you are just wonderful !!! i hope you won’t ever be sad, you need to always smile and laugh because the world needs more of this. you are one of the purest people ever and i just want to wrap you in a big blanket and give you forehead kisses. i wish 2018 treats you well sunshine !!!!

@alwaysycu well rhian you’re just an angel (my-my-my-my only angeeeel) that deserves better, always better. you make my heart go ‘!!!!’ when we talk and you’re just so nice and sweet always. i hope you’ll never be sad in 2018, it just goes against nature tbh. you were created to spread love and light so i hope next year will be the happiest for you :) i love you very much a lot

@iamlouis oh damn sarah !!! (this is just The Mood always with you) you’re a popular bitch and i’m still wondering why we are mutuals because your cool ass is too cool for me. everything you do is iconic and i’m tired bc you’re too good and pure wtf !! but i wish you become iconicer in 2018 because why not we all deserve some glow up i lov u

@delicatelou pinja you’re the softest person i know !!!! like literally. everything about you and your blog is so aesthetic and beautiful and just perfect??? h o w. i’m friends with a literal angel what the heck !! hope 2018 treats you well, you deserve the best only my pure baby. i’ll love you til the end of time darling, you’re amazing :’)

@ftdtlouis @lesbianhoran @larriez @definegirlfriends i’m only mentioning you because you broke my heart to pieces !!! but it’s new year so i gotts forgive you so you could dissappoint me in 2018 with something new. ALSMJDHNDG JOKES I LOVE Y’ALL EVEN THO I WAS HELLA SCARED YESTERDAY i just want all my mutuals to be happy and fine. is that too much to ask?.. anyways i wish you all the best i hope the nest time this shit happens i won’t be online bye

@rainbowstyles sabine i wouldn’t ever forget about you !!! you’re the sweetest creature ever, so so pure and lovely that you melt my heart. you deserve lots of love and happiness and laugh in 2018 and always. i hope you won’t ever be sad even tho it’s impossible but you are meant to be a sunshine !! i love you so so much, please don’t forget that :)

@poshlouis and @louari you two are iconic bitches and i couldn’t love you more. amanda thank you for always being nice to me and aline ,,, just thank you. you are a dream team and i love seeing you two interact on my dash !!!! hope you’ll have the best 2018, i love you two very much a lot

i hope all of my amazing mutuals will have the best 2018, you darlings mean so so much to me, i love you with all my heart !

[tellywoodtrash]

ishqbaaz 22.11.17 lb

ever since @bengudill​ commented that anika looks like carrie, i can’t stop thinking about it. she does, she really does. makes it look rather morbid. 

luckily, anika’s about to get a HAPPY ENDING. GET IT, YOU GUYS? “HAPPY ENDING”? 😉😉😉😏😏😏😏 HEHEHEHE I’M HILARIOUSSSS 😆😆😆😆

billu ne phenka toh paanika kaise peeche reh sakti hai???? uska toh haq banta hai! 

i can’t help but feel devastated at all the effort it’s going to take cleaning this house. look at the pardeeee behindddd!!!!!! god, those stains are never coming outtttt!!! 😫😫😫😫😫😫 #adulthood 

also it looks like someone got fucking murdered in here... which considering this is oberoi mansion.... has probably already happened before.

daaaaaaaaaaamn, o jaana took on a whole other tune. not sure how i feel about it. it’s kiiiinda creepy???? 

out of context screencap: 

tell me this doesn’t look like something out a fucking horror movie. it does, it totally does. jesus christ, i’m kinda scaring MYSELF now. 

yo man i really feel this red paint was a bad idea. they look like some creepy ass murderer couple whose fetish is killing people and playing in the victim’s blood. like seriously.... this looks creepy as fuck. a different colour wouldn’t have made it look so ... dexter-y. 

this fuckall music isn’t helping. 

HAND SEX HAND SEX HAND SEX!!!!!! 

oh thank god the music changed to laal ishq. thank the lorddddddd. AND THE MOOD OF THE SCENE HAS ENTIRELY CHANGED TOO. BEHOLD THE POWER OF BG MUSIC, PPL!!!!!!!!!!! 

oh yaaaaaaaaaaaas anika, you get that boy nakey nakey nekkkid! 

i can’t help but giggle a little here at how turned on she’s getting by slathering paint on him. like... talk about being a lady in the streets but a freak in the sheets. 😜😜😜

oh well, whatever you’re into, girl. i’m just glad you’re getting some. 

A+ aesthetics wrt to framing and cinematography. 

oh god girl don’t get it on your faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace. you’re gonna break out like fucccccccccck. 😩😩😩

i’m sorry, but hot husband and orgasms you can score once again in life, but once your skin is fucked, that’s it. one stupid orgasm isn’t worth killing your skin for!!!!!!!!! 😣😣😣😣

okay can’t stop giggling at the 80s-movie-style shot of the ~~SEXY LEGS~~~~~~~ 😂😂😂

.... are they attempting to clean up the mess by rolling around and using themselves as human sponges???? 😕😕😕

ok aesthetics and all theek, did they get beyond first base or not???? coz.... clothes still be on. and there was no suggestive dori opening either. (tellywood signal for sex. dori open = confirmation of 👉🏽👌🏽 👉🏽👌🏽 👉🏽👌🏽 ) I NEED SUGGESTIVE DORI OPENING FOR CONFIRMATION YOOOOOOO

YO MAN DID JUST KISSING HER TAKE IT OUTTA BILLU??????!?!!? ARE YOU KIDDING ME???? IS THERE ANY OF BULBUL’S BOOTI LYING AROUND, COZ UM... LOOKS LIKE THEY WERE 100% RIGHT TO ATTEMPT DRUGGING THIS FOOL. 

gosh, how disappointing for anika. poor girl. 

“is waale par.”

ugh ok this fucker is mad cute. fuck him. no i mean, LITERALLY, ANIKA. 

loook how happppppppppy she issssssssss. i’m crying happpy tearssssssss for my giiiiiiiiiirl. 😭😭😭😭😭

gosh, who’s at the door though? 

OH NO THE FAM’S BACK 😧😧😧😧

“yeh koi time hota hai aane ka????” “yeh koi time holi ka bhi nahi hai.”

hahahahahahahahahaha 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

LMAOOOOOOOOOOO ZERO DIALOGUE NEEDED. HAHAHAHAHA FUCKING AMAZINGGGGGGG. 😂😂😂😂😂😂

hahahahaha rudra’s satisfied exhale, as if he’s the one who did something. 

poor omRu volunteering to clean up their dirty paint-sex mess. height of bro-chaara only. 

guh. guess we’re supposed to take it that they did it. coz anika be ~*~*~*~*GLOWING*~*~*~*~*

oooop, girls are here to get the deeeeeeets. 

again, no dialogue necessary. post-orgasmic glow is a helllllll of a highlighter. it be telling them all they need to know.

bulbul looks so tearfully happy at anika’s joy. i’m cryingggggggggg. 😭😭😭😭😭😭

“I FINALLY GOT LAID YOU GUYS. FINALLY. AFTER ONE YEAR OF SEXUAL TENSION AND SHENANIGANS, YA GIRL FINALLY GOT HERS!!!!!!!!!!” 

ugh look at these stupid dorkssssssss holding hands under the table like a buncha teenagers. so cute. 

this is where being left handed helps me out! no one can ask me why i’m eating with ulta haath!

now to find a boy i don’t despise enough to hold my right hand. this is the hard part. oh well. 

*holds a cuteass kitten in right hand* 😸😸😸

LMAO RIKARA’S SMIRKS. BESTTTTTTTTTT. 😂😂😂😂

lol, shivaay’s going to fucking killlllllllllllll rudra. is ladke ke pait mein kuch bhi nahi rehta. 

LMAO GAURIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII ET TU BRUTUSSSSSSS

loving omki rollling his eyes at her. i knew that’s exactly how he’d react to her being silly and I LOVE ITTTTTTTTTT 😍😍😍😍

omki shomki taking a page out of bade bhaiyya’s book 😏😏😏

all the elders are like TF YOU IDIOTS ON???? 

gauriiiiiii’s been caught out toooooo. not giggling so much now, are ya, bulbul???? 

“mera nahi ho raha na....”

hahahahahahahahaha 😂😂😂😂😂

abbe idiot pehle apni harkatein sudhaar. phir tera bhi hoga. 

lolololol aniRi laughing while shivKara yell at rudra. UGH ALL MY KIDS ARE BEING EXTRA CUTE TODAY

ouff, dadi too. 

wow, ok. abhay knows to make AN ENTRANCE. 😐😐😐

i guess i should be grateful that pichli baar ki tarah ghar mein bike nahi ghusaaya.  😒😒😒

maybe clarify what you’re talking about, abhay, coz every single person in this house has a long list of sins, and no one knows which of those EXACTLY you’re talking about. 

chota billu is taking on bada billu. ladke mein dum hai. 😗😗😗

shivaay is sooooooo damn easy to provoke. just say “tum oberois...” and he’s foaming at the mouth. 

chill billu. like.... enjoy those post-sex endorphins for a bit longer. 

wow, rudra getting all high-and-mighty oberoi too. 

OUFF KYA SACH YAAAAAAAR KAUNSA SACH AB THOOOOK BHI DEEEE 420 EPISODE HOGAYE “SACH” KE BAARE MEIN SUNTE SUNTE 🙄🙄🙄🙄

ok what ghatiya editing, it’s making me dizzy. 

oufff abhay, all you saw was tej with a matchstick. how is that fucking proof? you’re such an idiot. 

i mean, i’m not doubting that tej has done some super fucked up things, and probably has something to do with this too (realistically), but that’s hella flimsy “PROOF”

oh suddenly om is allllllll about the oberoi name. pfffffft. fuck outta here.

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BB-BOY. DROP THAT BOMBBBBBBB!!! 

.... oh nooooo, abhay just abandoned svetlana. this is notttttttt gonnaaaa be goooooood. for him. 

jethji ka beta. meaningggggggg.... dadaji oberoi’s brother’s son. making abhay second cousin. hmm. 

lol why are anika and gauri shocked. they don’t know who the fuck vishal is. 🤔🤔🤔

man, they really shoulda cast this one to play a half-brother to shivaay. look how similar they look when they do the simul-turn! 😧😧😧

guarantee? the fuck guarantee you want? a dna test? coz those work sooooooooo well in your universe. 

on flip side, come the fuck on dadi, no one is someone’s kid just coz they KNOW of their existence. what nonsense logic???? i know of neil armstrong. does that make me his daughter?????? is ghar mein kisi ke bhi paas 2 paise ka dimaag nahi hai. 😒😒😒

shakti/tej are so fucking shady. i think i believe vishal, even though i just met him. 

i srsly think omkara might be vishal’s baby, with all the emphasis on truth and what not. what if the babies were switched?!!?!?!?!?

shivaay looks contrite. that’s a first. 

omfg he’s the opposite of angel (from buffy) - having sex AWAKENED his long-repressed soul! lololol enjoy the torment of having a conscience now, billu! 😁😁😁

ohnoe, allegations against vishal. he looked so nice and cuddly though.

for once, obros seem at a loss of wtf to do. 

ouff, anika ki bhaashanbaazi. seems like foaming-at-the-mouth-oberoi-defensiveness is an STD and shivaay’s given it to anika. ugh. 😒😒😒😒😒

of course the tape isn’t gonna work. like... OF COURSE IT ISN’T. 

[superdecade]

Levidromes

A levidrome is a word that when spelled backwards makes another word. Well, at least not yet. It is not in the Oxford English Dictionary. Levi Budd is a six-year-old boy from British Columbia in Canada who has coined the term 'levidrome' after spotting that the word 'STOP' spells 'POTS' backwards. After realising that there is no such word in English for this phenomena, a social media campaign has started to get this word in popular usage (hence this post). I wrote a short Python script this morning that will pull all of the levidromes from a dictionary file. The full list is copied below.

aa ab aba abac abba abo abos abut acca ad ado ados ae aga agar agas agenes ah aha ahs aia aider air airts ajar aka al ala alan alif alma alula am ama amahs amas amen amene amir amis amla amman an ana anal anan anana anes anew anger animal animes anna annat anon ante apod araara arak arb arbas are ares arf aril arret arris arum arval aryl assam asses at ataata ate ates aua auks ava aval avel avid avo awa ay ayahs ba bac bacs bad bag bal bals ban bans bard barf bark bas bat bats bed beef ben bens bib bid big bin bins bird bis blub bo bob bobac bobak bod bog boh bok bon bonk boob boord bor bos bots bows boy bra braced brad brag braw bro brod bros bru bub bud bug bulb bun bunk buns bur burd burg bus but buts cab caba cabob cam camus cap card cares cep ceps cire cires cis cit cite cito civic clat cod cor cos cot cram cran crem cur da dab dace dad dag dah dahs dal dam dap daraf darb darg dart darts das daud daw daws day de deb debut decaf decal decarb dedal deed deem deen deens deep deeps deer dees deet deets def defer deffer deffo deg degami degged deid deified deifier deil deke deked del deled delf delis deliver delos dels deman demit demits den denier denies denim denis denned dennets dens depart deport depot depots derat derats dere dered deres deros derris dessert desserts deus devas devil devils devots dew dewans dewed dexes deys di dial dialer dials diaper dib did died dif dig dim din dinar diol diols diram dit div diva do dob doc dod dog doh dohs dol dom don dons doom door dop dopa dops dor dorb dormin dorp dorps dort dorter dos doser dot doy drab drac drail dram drap draps draw drawer draws dray drey drib drier droob drool drow drows drub duad dual dub dud duel duo dup dups ea ean eas eat ecad ecce ed edile edit ee eel eels een ef eh ehs eke eked elide elides elutes em eme emes emir emit emits emmets emong emos en ene enema enes enol enows er era ere ered eres ergo eric eros ervil eses esnes espial esse et eta etas etat etats eten etic etna euk eve even evil eviler evils ewe exul eye faced farad fe fed feeb feer fen fer fet fid fier fig fila fir fires fled flog flor flow fool fra frab fret fro gab gad gag gal gals gam gan gans gaps gar garb gas gat gateman gater gats gay ged gel gelder gem gen get gib gid gif gig gins gip girt girts git gnar gnat gnats gnaw gnaws gnome gnus gob god golf gon gons goog gorp gorps gos got grad gram grub gu gub gul gulp guls gum gums guns gup gups gur gut guv guy ha habus had hadedah hah hahs hajjah halalah hales hallah hallan halos han hap haram hay he heh henry hep her hey ho hob hod hoh hon hoo hoop hop hos huh hup id ikat imaged io iris iron is it itas iwi jar kabob kaiak kak kam kara kat kay kayak keek keel keels keep keet keets ken keps kier kips kirks kis kiths knaps knar knit knits knob knop knot knots know knub knuts kob kook kor korat kow krab krans kue la lab laced lacer lad laded laer lag lager laid laipse lair lam lamina lana langer lap lares larum las laud lava lavra leat leben led lee leek leep leeps leer lees leet leets leg leir lemel leper les let leud leva level lever levins levo lez liar liard liart lias lied lies lin lion lira lit live lived livre lobo lod loges loid lone loof looks loom loons loop loops loord loos loot looter loots lop los lotos lug luxe lyra ma mac macs mad madam maes mag mak mal malam mallam mals mam man map maps mar marah marc marcs mard marg marid marram marrum mart mas massa mat maws may me meed mees meet meets meg mem merc meter mets mew mho mid milks mils mim mined minim mips mir mis mm mo mod mom mon moo mood mool mools moops moor moos moot mop mor mos mot moy mu mug mum mura mural mures murram mus mut muton muts na naan nab nae nag nah nala nallah nam named namer nametag namma nan nana nap napas nappas naps naras narc narcs narks nas nat naw ne neb nebel ned nee need neep nef neg nek neks nelis nema nemas nep net nete nets neve neves new nib nid nil nimrod nip nips nis nit no nob nod nog noh noil nolos nom non nona nonet noo noon noop noops nori nos not notes notum now noy nu nub nun nur nus nut nuts nys oat ob oba obey obo obol od oda odas offed offer ogre oh ohm oho ohos oi oiks om on ono oo ooh oohs oom oon oop oor oot op oppo orb orf os otic otto oud ova ovel ow owt oxo oy pac pacer pad pah pal palp pals pam pan pans pap par pard part parts pas pat pats paw paws pay pec peed peek peel peels peen peep pees peh pelas pen peons pep per perp perts pets pig pin pins pip pir pis pit plap plug po pod poh pol pols pom ponk poo pooh pool pools poon poons poop poor poort poos poots pop port ports pos pot pots pow pows prat prep prod prog pud pug puh pullup pup pupils puris pus put puy radar rag raga rager rages raggas rail rait raj raja ram ramis rang ranid rank rap raps ras rast rat rats raw ray re real reaps rebus rebut recal recap recaps reccos redder redes redia redips redleg redraw redrawer reed reef reeks reel reels reens rees ref refed refer reffed reffo reflet reflow regal regar regna regnal regos reh reif reified reifier reik reiks reined reird reknit reknits reknot reknots relaid relit relive reliver reman remeet remit renies rennet rep repaid repaper repel repins repot repots res resat resod retag retem retool retrod retros revel reviled reviler reviver reward rewarder rewets rexes ria rial rias ribas riel rif rim rima rime rims rip rits rob roc rod rok rolf rom rones roo rood room rooms roop roops roots rosies rot rotator rotavator rotor rub ruc rucs rug rums run sab sabir sabra sad sadis sado sados sae sag saga sagas sagenes saggar sail sair sakis sal salep salles sallets sam sama samas samen san sanes sap sapan sappan saps sar saran saros sarus sat sate sati sav saved saw saz scab scam scares scot scram scran scur seals seam seat secret seder sedes sedile seed seeks seel seem seems seep seer sees segar segol seil seined seiner seis seisor seities sekos sel selah selahs seles sellas selles seme sememes semes semina sena senas sene senega senegas sennet senor sense ser sera serac seracs seral sere sered seres seric serif serons serres serum sese sesey sessa sesses set seta seton setule seven sexed sexer sexes sey seys sha shad shah shahs shakos shales shama shay shaya she shod shoo shtik si sib sic sidas sies sik sikas siled silen sim sima simar simis sin sined sinnet sip siri siris sirra sirred sirs sirup sis sit six skat skeer skees skeets sken skeps skier skio skips sklim skool skran skrans skrik skua slab slaes slag slaid slam slap sled slee sleek sleep sleeps sleer sleet sleets slim slipup slit slive slived sloid sloom sloop sloops sloot sloots slop slug smart smees smew smir smits smoor smoot smug smur smut smuts snab snag snap snaps snark snarks snaw snawed snaws sneb sned sneed sneer snib snig snip sniper snips snirt snit snivel snod snoep snog snool snoop snoops snoot snores snort snot snow snub snug so sob soba soc soccer sod soda sodas sog soger soh soho sokahs sokes sol solah soled solon solos som some son sonnet sool soom soop sop soras sorb sore sored sorter sos sotol sow soy spacer spaer spag spam span spank spans spar spard spart sparts spas spat spats spaw spaws spay spaz spec speed speel speels spek speks spets spider spik spiks spim spin spins spirt spirts spit spod spool spools spoom spoon spoons spoor spoots sports spot spots sprat sprits sprod sprog spud spug sris stab stag stang stap staps star stared start stat state stats staw staws steed steek steeks steel steels steem stellas stem stemme sten stenned step steps stet stets stew stewer stime stimed stims stink stinker stir stirps stob stonk stonker stool stools stoop stoops stoor stop stoped stoper stops stot stots stoved stow stows strad strap straps straw strep stressed stria strig strips strop strops strow struts stub stum stums stun stunk sturts sub subah suber succus sued sulu sulus sum sumac sun sung sup suras sus susus swad swam swang swans swap swaps sward swat swats sway swey swob swone swop sword swot swots syed syes syn ta tab tae tael taes tag tak taki taks talc tallat tam tan tang tanna tao tap taps tar tared tarok tarp tarps tart tas taser tat tate tats tav taw taws te teed teek teel teels teem teemer tef teg tel telfer ten tenet tenner tennes tennis tennos tenon terces terf terra terret tes tet tets tew ti tiar tic tid tide tig til tiler tils time timed timer tin tink tinker tins tip tips tirrit tis tit toc tocs tod tog tom ton tonk tonker tons too tool tools toom tooms toons toot top toped toper tops tor torot tort tot tots tow tows trad trail tram trams trap traped traps trat trats tressed trew trig trins trips trod trons troop trop troped trot trow tsar tub tuba tubed tuber tug tum tums tun tup tut two ug ulu ulus um umu un urb utu vas vat vav vid vug wad wan wang wans wap waps war warb ward warder warts was wat wats waw way wed wem wems wen wena wert wet wets wey wo wok wolf wolfer won wonk wons wop word wort worts wos wot wots wow xis ya yad yag yah yahs yak yam yap yaps yar yard yaw yaws yay yebo yeh yerd yes yeses yew yews yo yob yod yom yon yos yrneh yug yup zaps zas zel ziz zuz zzz

It is interesting to note that some levidromes are also palindromes. I wonder whether we need a new word to describe this phenomenon also?  Furthermore, there is no word in English for "a word that you make up in order to make another word make sense". I suggest: "emordivel" ?

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[whimsically-ominously-auspice]

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A post shared by Humans of New York (@humansofny) on Apr 10, 2020 at 2:35pm PDT

You have to watch the video in the end.

Look everyone's story is different. And I understand his.

But I want to explain something. Carpenters and Construction workers rule the world.

They're as important as a McDonald's Happy Meal.

I want to explain something else. Sometimes people don't dream of going to Harvard, they're forced to. Sometimes people at Harvard -- I got into Harvard and I got into Yale Law. I chose not to go to either. -- sometimes people at Harvard just want to work with their hands.

I got Into Harvard. And I got into Yale Law.

I went to the University of New Mexico after a dabble at Oklahoma State, TVI - now CNM.

After a long time.. High school, being accepted into Ivey League schools, marriage, divorce, a 7 year old, 6 colleges/universities, trying to decide on something other than a Speech Pathologist because i believe you can learn a child's dialect and they don't speak wrong but different -- I gave myself a stern taking to.

I wanted to be an Architect.

To be an Architect my most important people are Carpenters, Construction workers, electricians, plumbers. And more.

I would need carpenters for sure because I love Gothic, Roman, Greek, Colonial style homes/buildings.

Well I never made it as an Architect my local universities didn't offer it at a bachelor's level and I failed out via running out of money for Speech Pathology.

And it was fucking hard.

But I want to tell you something. Look at his post here you'll see him on scaffolding. In NYC there's scaffolding every where. One of my favorite things on a hot day was sit under there and listen to them work.

We did so much underground work, freeing slaves.

One day I just couldn't handle it anymore. And I sat under scaffolding and I leaned my back against the wall and I pulled my knees up to my face and began to very loudly cry. It was one of the loudest places in the city. I thought no one could hear me.

Then I felt someone touch me. And ask if I was Ok. I wondered how long I had been crying because it was silent and I thought all the workers went home.

So I wiped my face in my shirt and I nodded "mmm I'm ok. Sorry. It was just so loud I thought no one could hear"

"Well we all did"

And I looked up and half the construction crew was standing looking worried.

And it made me bust into tears again. And they asked if i had been beaten or raped or needed the police or any random thing.

And i said "no. I'm just a recent widow and my child died right after child birth and i return kidnapped victims and my job is just hard let me put it that way"

So he gave me a bottle of water and asked if i needed money and told me safe places to go where nice people worked that were nice to the homeless.

So one day the noise of the hammers... The rhythm... I just decided. Not going to work was better for me. I was just gonna do something nice for nice people ... May be for a day or two..

So i would go to Macy's and buy shirts and boots and extra personal supplies for the construction workers, the people they told me about that were kind to the homeless and giving.

After a week the CIA asked what i was doing and when i would return to work. I said they could do it and i didn't want to.

They told me i wasn't acting healthy. I needed yo be underground feeling desperate and worried that i couldn't get people home to their families when my family was killed in front of me.

I couldn't. "Well quit buying stuff"

"Fine I'll buy less"

"Quit going to Macy's. What's wrong with the Bodega?"

"Oh sure where i shopped with my dead husband? No people need quality and quality is what they deserve! They work and they can afford their own clothes but they don't because it's too expensive for rent!! They can't afford clothes that don't rip or get holes in them every two weeks!!" I was yelling but i was mad. I wasn't letting people suffer and i wasn't letting myself suffer. No one had the right to tell me i was wrong. "Lower their rent so they have more than a few hundred bucks!! Look at them# bologna sandwiches that was all! They had no money to even eat! What am i doing wrong?! Good quality! Leave me be!!"

We always had long talks about quality. Because sometimes we found good at Bargain Basement and sometimes we didn't. So i knew Blue would approve.

"Yeah well you'll get fired"

"You wanna fire me?! Go ahead! And then when i want to go back to work you're not going to stop me! You'll thank me! So shove it!"

"You're causing a scene"

"No you are!!"

"You sit here for hours under the scaffolding that could fall on you and kill yoh while playing solitare in cards by yourself! You're not even Tarot. You could be making money on the street helping us but you aren't"

"That lady is a bitch. That lady ain't. That lady is sweet as the devil and that man is married to a cunt!!!! There are you happy now? Leave me be?" I was already exhausted and all the construction workers were down waiting for an explanation and to protect me.

They weren't very happy to find out I worked for the CIA. I guess they felt betrayed. I said "i help victims that get trapped under ground"

And so they thought like They fell into a pit of mud or something and needed help. Which is understandable.

I couldn't explain how i could feel abandoning those girls was my right. How i needed to. How helping them was destroying me. It was not explainable.

I didn't want to be encouraged to go back. I didn't want to be told i was wrong because it hurt my heart. I So damaged.

And I didn't want to volcano in anger. Not at anyone that didn't deserve it.

So I explained then... "*if someone is kidnapped and stuck or put under ground for human trafficking then they can't get out -- not on their own. They need me or the CIA and the CIA can cover for me while I am recovering to a better emotional state"

And one said "but you'll be fired"

"Well i run the CIA so i doubt that and i do check in with them every day down the street at least twice. That is why i was later today there was an issue with ome of the clubs and i had to sort it out. I just can't see the girls and work Like i used to. Promise to take them home. Make sure they see their families when my own was murdered in front of my face. Its just not something i can do"

They asked me for $500 and went to Macy's and in my place where i always sat and did solitare was a white paper Macy's bag. And it said "for the CIA GIRL named Sabrina"

And inside was a leopard fur coat. Of which they had got $250 from the CIA guy attempting to chew out my ass. And luckily it had been marked down. $657.32.

"Don't worry it was half off. And we split the leftover remaining for food. I hope you don't mind" i heard behind me.

I was crying so much I had snot bubbles.

So carpenters... They're like Gods. I've always looked up yo construction workers since that day.

Janitors at the elementary schools i attended they were always my heroes. If i didn't clean. I got beat. I tried to clean the whole cafeteria. Until I was told not to. I didn't have to. And ever since then it's been hard to just let them do their jobs and not help them.

They have been my heroes for s very long time. And not because I'm a germaphobe. Because they took pride in their work

Because like this man in this post always felt inferior. Bullied and picked on even.

Sometimes i would watch a janitor pick up trash next to the can a kid wouldn't pick up because he missed. And I would start crying and mess my make up up. And every one would ask me what was wrong. And i would bust into tears again "because the janitor had to clean!!".

I'm not talking just elementary school. I'm talking Jr high. I'm talking high school. Im talking i would skip school and smoke pot, smoke behind the principal's office or art building kinda old. And i would bust into tears because a janitors bad luck.

Ridiculous old. I would beat up bigger than me boys in school. Even beat the principal once for whipping my little brother. They still did paddling if there was a permission slip. My brothers wasn't signed. Mine and Nathaniel's had been and both said no paddling. So they called it even and let it go.

But i still cried cause the janitor who took pride in his work was bossed around like a bitch by the principal and the principal happened to be white and the janitor black.

So i stopped that shit by shoving the principal in his office and standing in front of it until he promised not to talk to the janitor. Every time he did with disrespect there i went. He took off running down the hall. Scared. Oh that pissed me off. Coward ass.

I used to work st Mazzios in Okmulgee. They used to go in after 8pm on Friday. I always waited on him and his wife cause Jamie always wanted a break to do dishes then. And we needed to. It was a mess by then. Dishes would be sliding off the counter And shit.

He never tipped. I asked his wife once why. She said "ask him" while laughing.

"Well? She's directed me to ask you. Seems your wife is in command here"

"Well I would tip if I had a waitress that didn't give me a black eye!"

"Well served, keep your dollar"

"Well next time I'm gonna pay $3!!"

So I told Jamie, "I don't mind doing dishes and it will save your nails I don't do mine. This guy here is the Principal at Preston and said he will pay to tip any waitress but me 3 whole dollars"

"Do the dishes"

She went over "I'm sorry was there a problem with your server?"

"She gave me a black eye!!!" What a dunce.

"Well I'll make sure she works extra hard on the dishes while I'll be the waitress to only you unless someone comes in since she's dangerous and can't come from behind the counter"

He looked over the back of his red booth and grinned. I grinned back.

Then he looked troubled "don't forget the tip" I sang back in a nasty I'll punch you in the face again tone. And kicked and threw all the chairs into the tables if they weren't pushed in on my walk back.

She got $5.

Oh it was definitely a joke around the restaurant. Friday nights after 8 weren't boring anymore.

His wife loved it. She was so tired of his shit. She knew we worked every Friday night and he was so dumb we could work him over on anything m

... ...

So in NYC. Scaffolding takes over the city sidewalks. Sometimes we have to walk in the street to pass. Or cross the street then cross back.because concrete barriers.

So in NYC the scaffolding is the rulers of the sidewalk. Put there by workers like the man who feels inferior to Harvard students.

They are in command.

.....

I loved sitting under the scaffolding and hearing the hammers. The men above. Working for money. The men above free. Free in the sky. Free from the streets. As far as they could safely be from the underground.

They were like the bird Phoneix to me.

I couldn't see them but i could hear them. Banging and whistling to a song on the radio or in their head.

Up there they were free. Free to build and create. What they were doing would last for years. Decades.

What they were doing would be seen by all of New York City. Its visitors. Its home personnel. Its bodegas. The kidnapped. Every one.

The CIA was afraid i would be lonlier when they moved on. But i knew they were working. I could hear it. And one day the scaffolding I found safe Haven under would be missing.

And i would see the Grand Prize. Their work completed.

I could never finish a bunker they would always refill. I needed a Happy Ending. I needed Green Grass Roots on the side of the building the whole street they touched the lives of could see.

When they finished i took the girls. "You see that up there? The blue and green? That wasn't there before. My friends did that. I want you to know every thing you touch and every thing you see leaves a definition. Some may be wrong and some may be right. But my friends did that and saved me from my misery. And right now want to hug that building"

And we did.

So to this man in this post and all people that work and feel inferior...

Specifically to this man -- each and every student st Harvard looked at you the same way you looked st them "i can be something one day. I can be someone as important as him. I can help build a wall to stay up for years to come so students like me can keep coming to Harvard. If he can do it. And work in Harvard. I can at least graduate"

So never belittle yourself. You are important. You are worth more than money. You change the world every day.

You remember that. People we don't always say it.

But we think it. We find inspiration every where.

A girl screaming in the driveway. A dude feeling lost because all the world was shut down in a joke like but meaningful song video. My worries about people working too hard and not being home or happy.

Regular people others would think as trash. Or overlook as a fun silly video of the times.

P Diddy tripping as well as many others.

You all changed the world.

And you did it better than the President of the United States of America.

We The People.

Need our "lower class" financed people and our "lower classed: educated.

My cousin only finished 5th grade. You never could tell by looking at her. I never remember. I never think about it. Until she mentions it. And it SHOCKS me. It shocks the shit out of me. Because I didn't think about it and i couldn't tell. I look up to her and admire her.

So while I am PROUD this man made his dreams come true in secret -- why? -- because they were his dreams and his dreams alone and he didn't want no one meddling in his dreams -- I want to tell all of you.

You are not inferior because of your race or employment. Your pay grade or gender.

Here if you can pass a test or quiz or do a quick something every one gets $5.

Because you're all equal.

Love yourselves

And this man in the post is amazing i want to say again. Idk how old he is. He looks young. But he applied himself and focused and he tried. And he succeeded.

We're gonna be ok world. Its just gonna take some time

[rkkwseok]

new song in the draft... (1)

Tap… Tap… Tap…

He sighs. Puts a finger on the keyboard, presses one of the keys, it just does not match, does not sound like he wants it to sound. He leans back, sighs again. The ceiling looks unbelievable lonely, the only thing up on there is the lamp, the lamp who only shines a little bit of light over this dark room. He wonders, maybe he should decorate it, make the ceiling more beautiful, he could put stickers of stars, paint stars? He used to paint, maybe he should start again?  Or he could put those glow-in-the-dark star stickers up on there? Then when he turns off the light there would still be a bit light and that could bring him inspiration?

Attention.

He looks down at the keyboard again, the messy papers with the messy handwriting on them, oh what to do, he’s a terrible song writer, isn’t he? He’s been doing this for years, trying to write and compose songs, at some point in his life he thought he was good enough to post them on SoundCloud, did that ever make him big? No. Thank god he stopped. It led to him getting noticed by LMS Ent. And he became the songwriter of BTB, but what? His and their songs never became successful, only their Japanese songs which he didn’t compose nor write became successful, so all in all Sangho is a failure. He looks down at the floor, it doesn’t look as empty as the ceiling, yet it feels like there’s nothing there. His head looks up, his look shifts to the ceiling once more, maybe he shouldn’t ever have come to Korea? Maybe it would’ve just been better staying in Denmark? He feels the tears pressing on, they press on so much, it’s like nowadays Sangho can’t write a song without crying and having a mental breakdown. He breathes, breathes slowly, he doesn’t want to cry.

2+2=4 4+4=8 8+8=16 16+16=32 32+32=64 64+64=128

He blinks, the urge to cry is gone. Sangho’s first boyfriend always told him that when sad, when on the edge to crying then he should solve math problems, that would distract him from crying, and Sangho has now used that advice for a couple of years. For a second he wonders if he’ll ever be able to date again, he never officially came out as gay when in Denmark, and he only realized his sexuality at the age of sixteen, he’s sure of the fact that he’s gay, but… He’s not so sure if he’s able to tell it to people, especially not over here, not in a country that is even less accepting than Denmark, Denmark is an accepting country, Sangho was just scared back then. Korea isn’t like Denmark, so now Sangho is scared again. Even if Sangho met a cute guy, the chance of them actually liking guys too is too slim, Sangho will probably be single his whole life unless he decides to move back to Denmark, how sad… Maybe that is why this is going so badly? How is he going to write love songs, when he has to pull out old memories to remember what it felt like being in love, he hasn’t had that feeling in years, the feeling of actually liking someone, how can one write about something they can’t even fully remember?

But it isn’t that easy, Sangho can’t just go out and fall in love so he can write somewhat prober songs again, he either has to remember the feeling of being in love and heartbreaks, or he’ll simply just have to start writing songs about something different than love.

He hears a weird sound, turns around immediately on the chair, it’s coming from the door, Sangho wonders what the hell it is, he swear to god he locked his apartment door, nobody has the chance of getting inside, so what the hell is outside his door? He stands up, walks over to the door and when he opens it gets happy surprise. He sits down, drives a hand over the fur of his pet “Hej Måne, er du kommet for at hjælpe mig med at skrive?” he smiles, looks at his cute pet. He looks at his dog, and then an idea pops into his mind, he drives another hand over it, pets it under its ears like it usually likes “tak Måne”. He stands up, walks over to his chair again and turns around on it so he faces his keyboard. Måne walks with him, plays up at his leg, and Sangho lets his finger be places on the keyboard, and then he plays the same melody from before.

Og jeg der var så ung Jeg troede, vi sku' vær' De første kærester på månen Men vores himmelrum Var lige nu og her Så vi holdt bare verden gående

He smiles, it sounds somewhat good, he immediately picks up his pen, writes the words down as he remembers them, and then adds a few more words to it. He quickly places a hand on Måne, pets him lightly “Alright Måne, nu har vi omkvædet”, his fingers go back to the keyboard, he starts over, plays the melody that is now well remembered by his fingers.

Og jeg der var så ung Jeg troede, vi sku' vær' De første kærester på månen Men vores himmelrum Var lige nu og her Så vi holdt bare verden gående Jeg troede, vi sku' være De første kærester på månen Jeg troede, vi sku' være, ååh-uh-åh De første kærester på månen

He leans back, words sound somewhat good, and he’s actually kind of satisfied with how the words sounds next to each other, surely Sangho does not have the best voice, but even with his non-perfect singing voice the song sounds somewhat good, and he’s actually satisfied with what he has so far. He looks up into the ceiling, tries to figure out words that will fit together.

Og jeg der var så klog Jeg troede fuldt og fast At vi ku' gå gennem ild og vand.

No, that doesn’t sound good, it’s too long, too complicated too—

Og jeg der var så klog Jeg troede fuldt og fast At vi ku' gå være evigt.

No. Too sad, not what he’s looking for… if just he could come up with a somewhat okay idea…

Og jeg der var så klog Jeg troede fuldt og fast At vi ku' gå til verdens ende.

Perfect. Sounds exactly like how he wants it to sound, now just put that together with the first verse, the chorus and we got basically half a song. Sangho writes the words down, hurriedly, and then again places fingers on the keyboard, once again plays the melody.

Og jeg der var så ung Jeg troede, vi sku' vær' De første kærester på månen Men vores himmelrum Var lige nu og her Så vi holdt bare verden gående Jeg troede, vi sku' være De første kærester på månen Jeg troede, vi sku' være, ååh-uh-åh De første kærester på månen

Og jeg der var så klog Jeg troede fuldt og fast At vi ku' gå til verdens ende.

Too short… The second verse is too short… but how can Sangho make it longer? Hmm…

Og jeg der var så klog Jeg troede fuldt og fast At vi ku' gå til verdens ende. Men vores drejebog Blev skrevet i al hast Vi havde ikke lært at vente.

It sounds… Good… yet not perfect… Sangho wants more, something that sounds perfect, words that are melodies, come perfect together. He looks at Måne, what if…? “Jeg har det Måne!”

Og jeg der var så klog Jeg troede fuldt og fast At vi ku' gå på vandet Men vores drejebog Blev skrevet i al hast Det ene ord tog det andet

Perfect, exactly what he was looking for, now just add that with the first, put the chorus afterwards and…

…

…

…

“Huh?” he looks around, weirded out by the setting, his neck hurts, everything hurts, he must’ve slept terribly. He sits up, looks at the keyboard which his head had been placed on in his sleep, did he fall asleep? How late was he up…? He looks at the floor, papers are all over it, he picks one up, reads the words in his head, was this a song he played yesterday? When his fingers briefly touch the keyboard he remembers the melody from the night before, the words, what he was doing, he places the paper so he can see the lyrics, and he places his fingers on the keyboard, let’s try this out, see if he wrote a somewhat decent song.

Og jeg der var så ung Jeg troede, vi sku' vær' De første kærester på månen Men vores himmelrum Var lige nu og her Så vi holdt bare verden gående

Jeg troede, vi sku' være De første kærester på månen Jeg troede, vi sku' være, ååh-uh-åh De første kærester på månen

Og jeg der var så klog Jeg troede fuldt og fast At vi ku' gå på vandet Men vores drejebog Blev skrevet i al hast Det ene ord tog det andet

Jeg troede, vi sku' være De første kærester på månen Jeg troede, vi sku' være, ååh-uh-åh De første kærester på månen Solen drejer os tilbage til Der hvor alting starter om igen

Og nu 'vi landet her Og vi har, hva' vi ska' ha' Og vi er stadig stående

Og lige meget hva' der sker på sidste skoledag Bli'r vi de første kærester på månen På sidste skoledag, ååh-uh-åh De første kærester på månen

De første kærester De første kærester

Oh… that sounds okay… at least Sangho is kind of satisfied, it just needs a name, he looks through the lyrics, it isn’t too hard to pick out a title. Måne runs into the room, Sangho turns his head “Hej Måne”.

He stands up, perhaps it’s time to go and get ready for work.

“De første kærester på månen” he says out loud, that’ll be the name of the song.

De første kærester på månen.

[renaisty]

Some Flash rewatch things.

Can’t believe I forgot my fave lines.

“We’re not a two.”

“Oh no, we’re a one and one.”

The Barry and Joe relationship still owns my ass

With all its ups and downs and its less than perfect aspects. I love it, and I can do nothing about it. Generally the West family is so feelsy I cannot. They make me so happy T_T

I forgot how much I liked Barry and Linda together. So cute.

Seeing everyone lying to Iris about everything... So frustrating. Not a good call, people.

Really should’ve connected that footage from Barry’s lab to Wells spying on them.

Lots of stuff is much creepier this time around, thinking of that.

Huh. For some reason, I thought Barry and Caitlin had more screentime together...

Guess it’s the fandom. Oh well. At least now I remember how Caitlin and Cisco have more stuff going on between them than ppl tend to focus on.

The mood whiplash from the Linda as Dr Light episode... Oh my, I laughed more than ever on a Flash ep... and then. Everything was pain and misery and tears. Damn.

Caitlin’s insistence on there not being a Killer Frost on Earth 1. Ever.

Heartbreakingly hilarious, or hilariously heartbreaking? Take your pick.

Hunter Zolomon or what?

Man I feel stupid.

Ok but watching them navigate the new dynamics of the family with Wally is (while v awkward at times) soooo interesting and fun. I love it. I just... Rly rly love the West family.

Omgs Henry you have no idea what’s going on don’t. Why.

That moment when you’re like ‘there was 0 reason that someone needed to go with Cisco’ but also ‘woah it’s so awesome how Iris brought him back’.

I can’t decide. Hmm. #help

Idk if this is gonna sound weird but. I love when the team gangs up on Barry. When it’s justified of course. But yeah, love it.

I mean, personally I do think he wasn’t in the right mindset. But beyond that, maybe it’s just me, but you know. Good to let someone else make the decisions sometimes.

I kinda love Harry? Esp. by the time s3 rolls around, I want him around too. HR was fun-ish, but there’s only one Harry.

(’it’s gonna take a while even when i do meet them to get to the cuff stage’ - ok that comment was so worth having HR...)

Did I say the West dynamic with Wally could be awkward at first? Well. It has nothing on post-flashpoint dynamics omgs that second-hand embarrassment in the 2nd ep... I don’t think I’ll ever be the same.

Oh my gods everyone being so against Wally using his powers like I’m so. Mad. #LetWallybeKidFlash2k17!!

“That investment’s gonna pay off” welll. fuck.

“How do we know he isn’t spying on us right now?” Idk Barry, but I think Savitar might know everything you’re doing. You know, through the connection to you. Funny.

Oh man now that I’m looking for it, “I never asked for any of this, Joe.” as well as “Reverb told you you could be a god.” Are fucking. Dead giveaways. Especially the way he said ‘Joe’. Gods, save me.

Look. There’s only one thing I don’t understand. Why tf did he just... stand there?? Barry I-have-to-try Allen?? Just... standing there?? While Wally was ‘taken’ I guess?? Wtf was that?? *rages*

And ofc come next ep he’s 1k% willing to sacrifice himself for Wally. Yeah, saw that coming, that’s a given, but why man? Why did he just stand there? I am. Confused.

What is it with the Speed Force and creating clothes?

I mean, I get it it’d be awkward if they turned up less than clothed, but I’d love for someone to comment on it.

“I had a feeling.” Fuck. Fuck. The first time I assumed he’d Vibed it and was being cheeky about it, but oh no, now it’s so so much sadder not my bby *gross sobbing*

And in the next ep, oh my gods it’s so scary to see the ice head for his hands like, ‘oh no not this noo’. And then Barry fucking ran in front of him, and it reminded me of what he said, that’d he’d ‘fix it’. *more gross sobbing*

Ohhhhhh Joe and Cecile are such  a joy to watch.

‘You’re not so scary without your armor’ oh man so true. I could never get over that armor even on a rewatch, but I just... can’t be scared of that face.

You know you’re stupid when you don’t realize why it was ‘ironic’ that Savitar would keep it to himself until you’ve seen it three times. Why me.

Joe and Iris talking abt stuff and being happy-ish in the second-to-last ep... I love it so much, and the thought of everything actually made me cry T_T Such a sweet moment. Also, daaaaamn now they just need some dirt on Wally and the mischief family is complete heh

Wait. Savitar wanted Cisco to build him something before getting the memories that meant that Iris was alive... Does that mean he changed his mind about wanting to effectively commit suicide, or was that always his plan??? Hmmm things to think about.

I... it’d have been so easy for HR to run. It rly would’ve. But he stayed there and let Savitar kill him. I’m not his biggest fan but. Man. That took guts.

I’m not in the habit of getting taken in by pretty faced villains but. This is Barry. I’m. So ugh. Ugh. (Also, while I’m on the subject, did he use ‘every hour every minute’ like in the fucking song? I am. Cackling, I’m sorry.)

OH GODS NO THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THEIR HAPPY ENDING FUCK

[det-vackraste]

Okey, so you're really supposed to be tagged by someone to do this, but since I don't have time to wait for that, imma go ahead and tag myself

1. selfie I’m on mobile, so… sorry, but check my “me” tag 2. what would you name your future kids? jeez, I don’t know.. If I have a boy I think I want one of his names to be Finn, cause that was my grandpa’s name plus it’s a cute name. If a girl, maybe give her my middle name Märta, just to pass that on down, but other than that I don’t know.. 3. do you miss anyone? Hmm.. maybe one of my friends who’s been away backpacking since January, and isn’t getting back home until June 4. what are you looking forward to? My mum, sister and I are planning a spa trip, so I’m looking forward to that 5. is there anyone who can always make you smile? My boyfriend, my dog or my best friend since 11 years 6. is it hard for you to get over someone? I haven’t really had to get over someone before, so I don’t know, but I can imagine I either don’t give a fuck or have a really hard time, no in between. 7. what was your life like last year? Real good. Last semester of school, so everything was chill, fun and exciting 8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed? Well, I’m a crier when I’m angry or frustrated enough, so yeah probably 9. who did you last see in person? My boyfriend, who’s sleeping next to me 10. are you good at hiding your feelings? I can be if I want to 11. are you listening to music right now? Nope 12. what is something you want right now? grapes and cash 13. how do you feel right now? Pretty good. Chilling in bed, a little sleepy. A tad bit too warm, cause Sebastian is clinging to every inch of me in his sleep, but I really don’t mind 14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you? If his current clinging counts as a hug; my boyfriend 15. personality description I can come off as a bit bitchy/boring/shy, but if I find you funny I’ll open up and be more fun and crazy. If I like you enough I’m also probably the most loyal bitch on this planet. 16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t? Yeah I have. Two of my friends who dated for a year had a nasty breakup, and quite soon after that the guy had sex with someone else. I promised him that I wouldn’t tell his ex. That was hard. But I didn’t… 17. opinion on insecurities. Not sure what this question wants, but… Insecurities are shit, and I’m doing pretty good with ignoring mine 18. do you miss how things were a year ago? On one hand yes, cause I had a clear routine and somewhere to be everyday, and everything was so chill and exciting since it was a few months before graduation. But on the other hand I’m okey with moving on with my life. I still have the people from a year ago that I care about, and I’m starting to get a clearer view of my future life choices so it almost excites me 19. have you ever been to New York? No I haven’t, would like to go though 20. what is your favourite song at the moment? Man, I don’t know… I’m a junkie for “Balladen om herr Fredrik Åkare och den söta fröken Cecilia Lind” by Cornelis Vreeswijk 21. age and birthday? 20 years old, January 7th 22. description of crush. Except for my boyfriend I don’t have a crush atm. But when I do, they’re pretty much always the same type of guy(my boyfriend included.. I have a very specific type, okey?); * Dark, a lil longer, curly-curlyish hair * Tall, lanky * (Harry Styles, Kit Harington, Robert Sheehan, Sirius Black) *Skinny jeans in legs for days *Big hands *Tall 23. fear(s) 
I’m scared to death of spiders, no joke. Also scared of darker things, like the future, being lonely and such 24. height 167cm, whatever that is in feet 25. role model Uhh… don’t know really..? 26. idol(s) Harry Styles is a really good human being tbh 27. things i hate Cold places, brushing my teeth (it’s the most boring fucking thing I know) 28. i’ll love you if… You love me, probably. I’m trash for affection 29. favourite film(s) Man I don’t know… I’m not at all picky with movies, and usually like every movie I see, so….? 30. favourite tv show(s) Game of thrones & friends 31. 3 random facts * I’ve seen every season of “RuPaul’s drag race”. Pearl is my babe. * I’m basically CONSTANTLY moving/jerking/twitching at least one of my feet or toes in some kind of way. Don’t know why, but I’ve done it for like 8 years now, feels weird when I don’t * I don’t eat sauce. Not on burgers, or pizza, or Kebab or anything. Basically only eat ketchup. 32. are your friends mainly girls or guys? My closest, closest friends are mainly girls, but among all (lol, makes it sound like a lot) of my friends, it’s quite evenly divided 33. something you want to learn More languages, although I hate actually learning it, so I doubt it’s gonna happen.. I would also like to be better than I am at piano 34. most embarrassing moment ?? I’m an embarrassing person so… don’t know 35. favourite subject I like English and Swedish (my 1st language) cause I enjoy writing. Other than that, biology 36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill? * Want to find my dream occupation * Want to go to Australia * Want to share an apartment with either bestie or boyfriend 37. favourite actor/actress Leonardo DiCaprio is nice, I don’t know 38. favourite comedian(s) Asså mannen, Johan Glans 39. favourite sport(s) I don’t really do sports… but like… figure skating? (Eller gång, det är nog min favvo) 40. favourite memory I have a few: * Front row on One Direction’s where we are tour concert at Wembley. The whole 24 hours prior to the concert itself was amazing, and then being in the front row was just unreal. And then Harry screaming “köttbullar” (=meatballs, cause we had a Swedish flag) at us. Best day. * Like the entire week before graduation was great. Prom, chilling in the sun, graduating. It was all really nice. We bought a big, inflatable pool, so when the rest of the students were still in school, all of the graduates had pool parties in the school yard * One time when my boyfriend was playing some game on his computer, to gain his attention, I climbed up into his lap and latched myself around him like a backwards backpack, and then I accidentally fell asleep there. Slept for about an hour. Best nap of my life. 41. relationship status In a relationship since three years 42. favourite book(s) I’m such an embarrassing sucker for the entire Harry Potter series and that entire universe. Other than that I loved “the Book thief” by Marcus Zusak 43. favourite song ever God…….. I don’t know 44. age you get mistaken for I don’t think I’ve been mistaken ever… But quite often my friends have to show ID at bars, but I don’t? 45. how you found out about your idol My best friend showed me this boy band she had discovered, and well there he was 46. what my last text message says “Where’s the lie tho” in response to a screenshot of a funny text post I was sent 47. turn ons Oh god, where do i start.. * cockiness, but not in a gross way, but just a smug, confident way..? Making sense? * Hands. Long, slim fingers; hands of a pianist * Long, slim legs in skinny jeans * Jaw lines * Tiny man butts * Veiny forearms * Tall people * Smoking..? I don’t know why? I don’t even like smoking? It’s just something aesthetically pleasing with long, slender fingers holding a cigarette * HAIR, dark, long luscious locks * Kissing. Anywhere but the lips (lips too tho) * Biting * Teasing * Hands, grabbing, groping, gentle slapping. You name it, it probably turns me on 48. turn offs Like…. pissing? And snus (snuff). So fucking gross 49. where i want to be right now Somewhere with a lowest temperature of 25 degrees Celsius 50. favourite picture of your idol I’m on mobile, man, but probably like… messy bun, a flimsy shirt that’s really out there, and some sparkly boots 51. starsign I’m your typical Capricorn 52. something i’m talented at Like… music stuff.. I have a really good ear for keys and such in music..? 53. 5 things that make me happy * Sunshine * Dogs * Travelling * My boyfriend and best friend * Reading/drawing 54. Name something you’re currently worried about The future; what do I want to do for a living, and hence; what do I want to study at uni? 55. tumblr friends I’m not really tumblr active in that way.. I just reblog nice pictures of nice things and that’s that. One time TT answered one of my asks 56. favourite food(s) Tacos. 57. favourite animal(s) Dogs Foxes, because they’re extra pretty dogs 58. description of my best friend Real smol. 59. why i joined tumblr Facebook was so 2010