#oh god oh deer what have i dont i need to stop....

[tonberry-yoda]

LAST ONE I SWEAR: Hermes with the Love at first sight thingy? You are the best thank you omg🤍✨️

Love - Hermes (f!reader)

notes - I havent been feeling 10/10 SO HERE I AM WRITING FOR MY COMFORT CHARACTER IN ROR!!! How can I not?!??!?! It got a little self inserty, BUT I DONT CARE I LOVE HIM SM HOW CAN I NOT?!?!??!?! I'm kinda obsessed with his design tee hee. I had a ton of fun writing this, so thank you for the request!! ily and i hope you have an amazing day <333

word count - 717

You were just a human. A human that was bored of life.

You sighed and spent your time studying Greek Mythology. You seemed to be very fixated on it recently. It was so interesting, the way that the gods would live. And who knew, maybe they were wonderful people. You laughed at the thought. How stupid. If a god met you, you would probably be dead.

You were especially fixated on Hermes though. He was a god that never stopped showing up in every myth you read. He was fun to read about. He was always saying something witty or just being the most reasonable god. He was the most... human, you supposed.

You only wondered if these stories you escaped with were real at all. You wished that you could meet someone like Hermes.

Walks were close enough to your escape though, especially the woods by your house. They were full and green; very fantasy-esque. You loved them. Especially getting overdressed to go on a walk. A long dress and a pair of thin flats. You would read stories to deer and bunnies that weren't too far off from you and you would sometimes just take your shoes off and stick your feet in the mud.

It was freeing. And it was all you needed.

You didn't mind going there by yourself as often as you did. It was nice.

But it was off putting when you heard a voice for the first time.

"Can I ask why we're all the way out here?" A deep, yet smooth voice said.

You quickly hid behind a rock. You weren't used to hearing anyone out here, so you were definitely scared.

"Oh, come now, my boy," a raspier voice chuckled. "I like visiting the world down here every now and again! It's not like anyone's going to be out here!"

And right as the man thought that, your dumbass stepped on a stick that made a loud ass sound. Great.

"What was that?" The raspy voice said.

"I don't know," the smoother voice said, his tone slow and soft. "Let me go check it out. Stay here."

Your heart dropped and you panicked a bit. What were you supposed to do? You spent so much time thinking that you didn't move an inch, so a head peeked out from the rock.

You and him both seemed to be in shock as your eyes went wide as you looked at each other.

You stood up from your spot and muttered something that was supposed to be an apology, but more sounded like a bundle of words. You were blushing, dammit.

The man in front of you was handsome. Super handsome. He had jet black hair and bright red eyes. He was wearing a black tuxedo and you couldn't help but stare at him.

He did the same though, without your knowing. You in your dress, god, you looked like a fairy out here.

You both must've realized that you were staring for far too long and you both blushed, looking at the ground.

"I apologize, miss," the man bowed at you and looked back up at you with a small smile. "I didn't mean to scare you."

"I didn't mean to scare you." You peeked out from behind the rock and saw that an old man was admiring a butterfly.

"You're beautiful... if you don't mind me saying."

You turned back to the man with shock. "W-Well, you're very handsome."

"Well, I don't want to doddle. I apologize for the scare," he pulled up you hand to his lips and pressed a kiss upon your knuckles. "I do hope you have a lovely rest of your day, though."

You were sad to feel his touch leave, sighing. "Wait!" You called off as he went to walk back to the old man.

The man turned to you, his hair blowing in the light breeze that blew over. "Yes?"

"I never caught your name."

He hesitated for a moment, but smiled. "It's Hermes."

You froze and watched him leave. Oh my god, that was like a dream.

"What was that all about?" Zeus asked Hermes.

"Oh nothing. But love is a funny thing, don't you think, Lord Zeus?"

"Aphrodite can be an awful woman."

Hermes chuckled. "I suppose she can be."

~~~~~

ror masterlist | pinned post

2023 @tonberry-yoda – do not repost or claim ANY of my work as your own! likes, reblogs, and comments are not only welcome, but appreciated

~~~~~

[hellfiremunsonn]

I never wear shorts cause I hate how my legs look (thanks stupid boys who made fun of my big thighs when we were younger). Even in my 20s I only wear shorts around the house. I always wore baggy shirts too.

Now I wear crop tops and more form fitting pants, but I just got the image of Eddie using the spare key (dont worry he didn't break and enter, I mean you shouldn't have told him where the spare was if you didn't want him to use it) and he is waiting in your living room and you walk out in your home clothes, short shorts and a crop top. The jaw drop? The way he drops what he's holding? The way you jump and then yell at him for breaking and entering, and his mind is mush and everything basically sounds like the adults from Charlie brown?

No because he'd lose his goddamn mind!!!!!!!!!!

The contents of whatever he had gathered in his hands clunking loudly to the floor startling you from where you stand in the kitchen.

and you'd be too concerned about him scaring the shit out of you that you'd forget you were just in shorts and maybe one of his shirts.

and he's still just staring at you like a deer in headlights, that you're almost afraid to make any sudden movements, not wanting to startle him.

"Eds what the hell!? Why didn't you tell me you were coming over, you scared the shit out of me!" your heart is still pounding in your ears.

"Baby how could you?" he'd finally speak while walking towards you before abruptly falling to his knees and wrapping his arms around your legs, burrowing his face into the plush of your thighs.

"What are you talking about? What is going on with you?"

"How could you hide these gorgeous legs from me for so long? Fucking christ look how perfect these are" he'd lean back to get a better look at them, completely in awe of you once more.

You'd try to push him off of you, awkwardly aware that Eddie had never really seen your legs properly up until now. Your relationship still fairly new, and although the two of you have absolutely been intimate, your legs were never really the focus point.

"Eds come on" you'd mumble, still trying to push him away but he only holds you tighter.

"No way in hell baby, I need to kiss and bite every inch of these, god they're so perfect, YOU'RE so perfect, how are you so perfect?" he'd babble looking up at you. "Did you make a deal with the devil or something? because everyday I swear I find something about you that makes you all the more perfect which is insane considering how perfect you already are"

And how can you be as insecure as you were two minutes ago, when your boyfriend is so obsessed with you, that he's rambling on about your legs, on his knees, while you stand there.

You'd literally have to tug a little too hard at his hair to get his attention enough to stop talking for five seconds.

He'd look at you with that big dopey smile, and try to start again about how much he loves your legs, but you'd squish his cheeks together with your hands before he could.

"Oh my god shut up"

He'd grab one of your hands quickly, nipping at the palm of it before tugging you into him so he could wrap you up in a hug.

[lepoppeta]

Vox x Alastor?? For the ship bingo

oh my god okay so radiostatic means everything to me

its so gut-wrenchingly sad and also hilarious and also off-putting and also so steeped in devotion and romance it makes me want to scream ??? i want them to metaphorically kiss and make up but i also know that would never fucking happen and thats also good ??? they make my head spin.

alastor is a shameless theatre kid who LOVES being the center of attention — vox is OBSESSED with alastor, and is thus a consistent source of that attention. vox is distressingly easy to tease and alastor feeds off of his passionate responses like a leech. theyre so codependant on each others apparent hatred. i need to bite something.

my favourite version of their relationship that ive made up (and this only works with their series iterations — imo their pilot/comic counterparts have never even considered an acquaintanceship, let alone a romance) is that their falling out was one huge, violent misunderstanding. alastor began to lose his power and status within the overlord hierarchy when he refused to adapt over time (can you IMAGINE how fucking powerful he would be if he just stopped being such a stubborn asshole and decided to start including podcasts under the "radio" umbrella?) and vox swiftly surpassed him. vox didnt want alastor to be left behind, and offered a partnership where they could operate in tandem and basically control almost all media output in hell. alastor mistook this for vox saying that alastor wasnt interesting enough as he was and HAD to change, and as we all know alastor DESPISES being thought of as uninteresting. he tells vox to fuck off and vox is left wondering what the hell just happened.

objectively i dont think theyd ever make up — alastor is FAR too prideful to ever consider the idea that HE was the one who was mistaken, and i dont think he particularly likes the idea of emotional or physical vulnerability either. regardless, what i would love to imagine is that eventually, SOMEHOW, they do, and that their relationship is... actually so easy. this is most likely just me projecting, but i like to think of vox as just wanted alastor as an actual partner, not a fuck buddy (his "relationship" with valentino is a coping mechanism for his anxiety and confusion and doesnt necessarily reflect on how he would be with alastor, someone i like to think he actually appreciates as a person). vox is a complete lovesick FOOL.

this is so long already so im sticking some extra spicy headcanons below the cut!

if their relationship ever edged (hah) into sexual territory, i actually think it could work, but it definitely wouldnt be vanilla (absolutely zero penetration in this relationship). i think a fair amount of voyerism, dom/sub play, and hypnotism is involved — vox obviously has his hypnotic stare, and i like to personally headcanon that alastor can hypnotise people with his voice. like... idk, alastor i feel like would get a lot of enjoyment (sexual or not) out of toying with people and seeing them squirm, and vox would respond really well to some level of praise + orgasm denial.

for me i can imagine alastor ranging from completely sex-repulsed and having no libido at all, to being appreciative enough of the sensation but disliking the vulnerability and general grossness of bodily fluids that comes (ha-ha) with it. i think vox wouldnt care either way — as long as he gets to have alastor, hes beyond thrilled.

i LOVE thinking about the potential for predator/prey dynamics too. i like to headcanon that alastor actually has to spend a lot of energy fighting off his very annoying prey instincts on the daily and maintaining a mask of indifference. deer/elk iirc are naturally very skittish — alastors hearing is terribly accute and a lot of the time hell ends up being too LOUD for him. his ears are a huge indicator of his emotions so he has to force them to be still so no-one knows how hes feeling. compared to this, despite not being an actual shark, vox has a lot of shark themes, and his obsession with alastor may be in part due to having the desire to "hunt" him and eat him (not that he actually would — the most he would do would probably be to chew/drool on him a little bit). in point of fact, i think is he ever let this desire slip, alastor, being a maybe-cannibal, would probably be find it to be weirdly flattering — after all, some say consumption is the highest form of devotion.

tying back into the hypnotism thing — alastor generally avoids looks vox directly in the eye, both because of the hypnotism thing and also because his face is literally one big bright light ("deer in the headlights"), but in a more sexually-driven situation i think hed actually find it oddly comforting because it dampens his prey instincts for a little while, and (eventually) he trusts that vox isnt going to embarrass him or make him look the fool. vox lovingly coaxes him through orgasm and takes care of all of the gross stuff before alastor even has a chance to be fully coherent.

[goldenj0]

okay first of all I am so beyond proud of you!!!!!!! no one deserves this more than you and I just love you so much. I'm having such a proud mom moment right now.

can I get a fluffy brother's best friend with rafe cameronnnn??? maybe they are going to the same college (he is no more than like, 2 years older) and her brother asked him to look after her for him and he starts falling for her, and her him (even tho she totally had a crush on him in like her pre-teen, early teenage years because who wouldn't?)

summary — you are in love

pairing — brothers best friend!rafe cameron x fem!reader

warnings — a few seconds of sadness but a whole lotta fluff and a kiss or four later!

author’s note — megan i adore you and your support and it means the world to me and i did change it up a bit, hope you dont mind!!

Love was cruel with two blue eyes and sandy colored hair, who also happened to be your brothers best friend.

Bright eye and a school girl crush, with your heart on your sleeve. Having listened to Taylor Swift on repeat growing up, you knew this is what love felt like.

Over the years you fell harder for him each day. It was how your name sounded rolling off his tongue. Always going out of his way to make sure how your day was and checking in on you. Rafe always made you feel important even when you felt like you didn’t.

And maybe you thought he started to feel the same way, but then senior year came around and football and senior parties took over his life and that left you in shadows, only ever getting the small waves in passing and a forced smile as you turned to walk down the other way.

The memories of him were all you had to hold on to.

A year later, freshly graduated and a freshman at UNC you felt like you could conquer anything— including the blue eyed boy that you were madly in love with.

A week later with no sightings of him, you we’re excited that maybe just maybe, you could start over and forget about him, but the universe had something else in mind.

Loud music, too many bodies and maybe the promise of a kiss would completely wipe the idea of him out of your memory.

Too wrapped up in your thoughts, your tan body collided with the back of a figure, “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I didn’t—“

“y/n?” The Taylor Swift songs started speaking.

The universe for sure hated you became you looked like a deer in headlights trying to gather your thoughts and form a sentence or coherent thought.

“Rafe?” Eyes trailing up the tall figure, noticing the changes and how much he’s grown from the last time you saw him.

The last few times he’s been home you had successfully avoided him at all costs making up lame excuses to be out when he was over. And for awhile it worked.

“Hey, how’re you?” Wrapping his arms around your waist, home, “Been hoping I’d run into you.”

“Oh yeah, well I’ve been busy with school and getting settled and yeah.” Flustered and upset at the thought of never having the one thing you wanted.

Rafe was star struck. He couldn’t remember what you looked like. Of course he kept up with you on Instagram and occasionally seeing you on other peoples snapchat stories, but you were a work of art that a picture couldn’t capture. Rafe Cameron couldn’t remember when it happened, but he fell hard for his best friend’s little sister. Too caught up in his thoughts he didn’t register that you stopped talking and started waving a hand in front of his face.

“Sorry, I, uh, can we go talk somewhere quiet?” The million dollar smile that you fell in love asked you. “Somethin’ I need to tell you.l

All you could do was nod and take his hand when he offered his up. Following him through the crowd and out of the house to a more quiet part of the backyard he took a seat and patted the empty next too him.

“So I uh, shit okay,” Raking his fingers through his messy shaggy hair, trying to find some composure that was nowhere to be found. “y/n, I need to tell you something.”

He knew. That’s all that filled your mind. Rafe Cameron knew that you loved him and he was here to let you down gently because you were his best friends little sister.

“Have you ever had those feelings? Y’know those feelings that you shouldn’t have but you do?”

“Yeah.”

“I uh have some of those for someone I shouldn’t and I don’t know how to tell her.” Picking his head up and meeting your eyes.

“Oh.” Swallowing the tears that were threatening to spill, stupid feelings, “Have you thought of just telling her.”

“I’m in love with you.”

“Yeah just like that.” Forcing your water lined eyes shut and picking your back up.

Rings littered fingers grabbing your cheeks to meet his eyes, “I’m in love with you.”

Millions of emotions and feelings running through your body as you process the words you yearned for, for years from the boy you’d been in love with since you were twelve and he was thirteen.

“y/n? Can you say something?” Nerves crawled under his skin, “Shit, I shouldn’t have said anything, I just —“

The lips he craved to feel for as long as he could remember were on his begging for entrance to his mint and beer mouth. Cold and nimble fingers met his warm and flushed cheeks as you pour everything into this exact Taylor Swift moment.

Pulling away from the best feeling, “I’m in love with you too.” Pressing your lips against and feeling him smile against your pillow like lips.

besties!! @r0und3bitch @mackenzielovee @cutesouls @onmykneesforrafe

[i-luv-carl-grimes]

𝔅𝔩𝔞𝔠𝔨 𝔬𝔲𝔱 𝔡𝔞𝔶𝔰

S1 Ep6

Tell it to the frogs

Warning: abuse, language and lots of valance as well as gore if you are younger then 14 please don't read

*******************************

I woke up from another nightmare that had been clouding my head all night and to my great disappoint I was still alive that's also when I felt something lying on my waste and when I opened my eyes it was an arm, decoreted with freakels...Carl's arm.  I got up slowly and held his arm over his head before dropping it and scaring the shit out of him.  "what was that!" he said looking left and right, 'next time watch where you arms are' I threw the notepad in his lap,  "oh sorry! by the way me and Shane are gonna go catch frogs if you wanna come" he asked getting up his hair all messy and handed me the notepad.  'no' "awh come on! please just this once please, please, please" he begged.  'if I go will you leave me alone' I asked and he nodded his head.  'fine' "thanks!" he said then walked out of the tent.  I followed.  "Rayne come with me we have to change those bandages" Carol said and I nodded following her into Dales RV

"That's a lovely necklace, do you believe in God?" Carol asked me and I shoke my head. "I see, well all done" she said and I nodded and walked out of the RV. "Rayne mind helping me with some laundry?" Lori asked hanging up what could only be one of Carl's boxers I was about to shake my head when someone grabbed my hand, there hands were warm, I then looked over to see Carl. "Sorry mom but I need Rayne right now!" he said then ran off still holding my hand.

"Your welcome I got your out of chores" he said and I snatched my hand away Carl then stopped in his tracks and let out an almost blood curdling scream he then turned around and ran towards Lori and the others revealing a walker eating a deer, everyone then crowded around it when it stood up but I quickly stabbed it in the head, I felt everyones horrified gazes on my back but shrugged passed it and walked back to camp

-

After a while everyone came back to camp, including Daryl

I already picked up that he was a hot head, so there gonna have a fun time explaining what happened to his brother, they all then started to get physical and push against each other, acting like they had the balls to do shit

I also found out that Rick (Carl's dad), Daryl, T-dog and Glenn were going on another run to go fetch Meral, they then started talking about how the camp needs more guns and more stuff to protect it, I then got up and grabbed my notepad handing it to Daryl. 'Can I go' "hell no, your still injured and a little girl goin' into a big city full of walkers no thank you" he said and handed me a notepad back.

Worth a shot

"Dad i-i don't want you to go" Carl shuddered and but Rick didn't listen they all then said there goodbyes me Lori and Carl sat on top of a blue car watching everything go down. "Rayne? Do you know how to shot that" Lori asked pointing to my gun and I shrugged. "Is that a kinda?" she asked and I nodded. "Revolves are sick! Mom and I see it!?" Carl asked. "No Carl there not toys" Lori said and Carl let out and annoyed sigh and walked back to his tent Lori then followed after.

You really dont know how good people have it, till you don't have anything at all.

"Rayne! Come on Shane's gonna teach us how to catch frogs!" before I could even answer Carl yanked my hand and lead my towards the pond

-

Carl's POV:

We had been at it for a while when me and Rayne lost the net while we were looking something tripped me and I fell into the water getting soaked I looked over at Rayne and seen that she was hiding a small smile when she looked at me she started to giggle that giggle then turned into a small laugh while she was laughing something tripped her to making her get soaked we made eye contact once again and at the same time bursted out laughing till our stomachs hurt and our faces red. "Your face is all red!" I said and she splashed me I quickly returned the favor, this turned into a huge splashing fight

Seeing Rayne smile

It felt nice, sure I didnt know anything about her but she was cold, that I did know.

I then noticed how blood was soaking through Rayne bandage. "Rayne your wound" I said and she looked down at the blood and shrugged, I honestly didn't think she cared and while I was distracted she grabbed the bucket and poured water all over me making me even more drenched we then started chasing each other, "ay!Carl" mom said, me and Rayne stopped right in our tracks. "What did I tell you about coming down here?" she asked. "But Shane said we could catch frogs" I said. "Doesn't matter what Shane says it matters what I say, now common back to camp" she said, I was disappointed this was the most fun I had since this all started and Rayne, something inside of me told me she needed this.

Raynes pov:

Do I really deserve this? The feeling of happiness, do I really deserve to have fun? After everything I caused? then the pain hit I hissed feeling the wound on my shoulder open. "Are you okay?" Carl asked trying to help me but I pushed him away and nodded, he gave me a look of sympathy, I hated that look, it made me feel weak

I am far beyond that.

Name: unknown

Nickname: Rayne

Walker kills: 3

Living kills: 2

Age: 9

[spookymaesblog]

ACOTAR Review

Alright yall, i am 3/5 of the series done and what the fuck. I picked this series for the fucking and its FUCKING me emotionally.

(THIS WILL HAVE SPOILERS)

Basically the first book (a court of thorns and roses) starts out with feyre in the woods hunting. it is snowin like a mf in this forest and she's going on about how she has to catch something something tonight while she is out or her and her family are gonna die within a week. She's apparently in this clearing or some shit and a doe comes into her view and she is like 'oh shit, nice' and starts getting her bow and arrow ready, thinking to herself how she only has three arrows (i understand she is poor but & i dont hunt but wtf girl?? 3?? ok) and two are normal and one is made of ashwood. (some special ass tree that kills fairies idk) as she is getting her arrow ready, she looks up and sees a wolf is also stalking the deer, yikes. she is like 'oh fuck, wtf' and looks around and realizes it just one wolf and is like 'eh i can kill it' (go off queen) but then she sees the size of it and stops like 'HUH' bc the motherfucker has glowing eyes and is HUGE. she goes onto this long ass inter monolog about how the fae/old gods used to rule the world and keep humans aas salves and would treat them like shit and torture them and all this other shit. basically she is like FUCK FAIRIES loud and proud and shoots the fuckin wolf. the wolf doesnt do shit and lets her kill it, she SKINS the damn thing (oh yeah it killed the deer lmao) and puts the deer in its skin???? HELLO?? and carries it home. when she gets home, you meet her two sisters (Nesta and Elain) and her dad (kinda a loser). they are in this small shake excuse of a cottage that is literally barely keeping them alive, around a fire trying to stay warm. nesta (who is a BITCH) is like "what and where the fuck did you get that?" and they kinda go back forth over stupid shit on money and who needs a new cloak or boots (you learn nesta and elain just spend money even though they broke as shit bc their dad made a bad sale and lost all their money) and feyre wants to punch them and asks nesta to cut more wood for the fire and nesta is like "fuck you no" and feyre is like "bitch you are gonna marry a man who farms but you cant cut wood? okay" and nesta storms off to the shared room and shared bed. ( i think they all share the room).

the next day, feyre and her sisters head to the market that is happening instead the town to sell the pelts. at the front of the market they are stopped by a group of weirdo they called 'children of the blessed' and apparently these ppl are 'fairy loving whores' who pray to the fae and old gods and willing sacrifice themselves over to them. one of the girls corners the sisters and tries to talk some shit to them and elain goes useless and just hides behind nesta as she yells at the girl and goes back and forth with her for awhile and shows her the iron bracelet on her wrist (apparently wards off fairies) as this is all happens feyre uses it as an excuse to kinda slip off as it comes to an end and runs off to try and find some to sell the pelts to. she finds a big bitch standing by a fountain and is like 'work' and goes up to her and the lady is like '??? wtf you want?' and feyre is like ''you want some pelts?'' and the lady who turns out to be a fuckin mercenary is like ''who killed them??" and feyre goes "me" and the merc is like '?? this bitch fr rn?' and just stares at her for a lil and basically ends up buying them and guves her away too much money for them talking some shit about how someone did it for her once and now she wants to repay. they SOMEHOW get on the topic of fairies and the merc tells feyre how she has fought and killed one and everything that she knows and how she shouldn't fuck with them and stay away from the wall and all this shit and how she always died and shows her nasty ass leg she has. you know this bitch aint gonna listen.

later that day after they have ate dinner, they are just hanging out and it is snowing some big ass beast comes bustin throuh their dingy ass cottage screamin n howlin "WHO KILLED HIM" over and over and them whole family is like ???!!??!?!?! and finally feyre is like ''who??'' and the beast is like "ANDRAS!! THE WOLF!! and she is like 'damn.................' and the family is all like "no one killed anyone!! we promise!! just leave!!!" and the beast is sniffing around and smells his dead friend in the house and starts losing it and is screaming and feyre's stupid ass goes "what to say..... if someone did kill him......'' and the beast says "LIFE FOR A LIFE" or "you come and live in Prythian for the rest of your life on my land" and feyre is like "just kill me!!!!' and basically her dad convinces her to leave and go and live in with the beast in the fairy realm and she leaves.

she wakes up about two days later after waking up from being knocked out with magic from annoying the fuck outta the beast and is in a room where there is a fairy getting her clothes and she is like ??? and the fairy is like "im alis, im the maid, get dressed" and feyre gets pissy and refuses to wear a dress and puts on random ass clothes and goes downstairs to the dining room in this big ass manor and is meet to see this hot ass big man sitting at the table (his a blonde tho, a shame) with a gold mask on and she is like?? basically he is the beast, his name is Tamlin, another comes in, he is way hotter and a red head with a fox mask and his name is Lucien (who she should of picked) and they talk and she learns shit.

shes super annoying for a couple of chapters (rightrfully so i understand but stfu) and then finally gets okay, she hangs out with tamlin and lucien more and you can tell she is starting to like tamlin. she is wanting to learn more but tamlin is kinda weird and doesnt wanna tell her shit so she goes to lucien. he tells her to trap this ugly ass fairy called a Suriel. she does it and basically fucking DIES but is told "stay with the high lord" and shes like HUH and finds out tamlin is a high lord. she is almost killed bny these ugly ass things called a  Naga and tamlin comes and saves her. she learns that the blight is a sickness that is in the lands and thats why they wear the masks.

some time goes by and its spring and there is a festival going on and she is like "okay fun!' and tamlin is like "you cant go" and she is like "? fuck you" and she fucking sneaks out and goers anyway. well her dumb ass goes into this cave area n gets caught by some random ass fairies and then someone saves her and goes "oh there you are, ive been looking for you'' and she looks at him and is like "oh god damn" and thinks "this is the finest mf ive ever seen" and then lucien finds her and is like "YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOTTTTTTTT STUPID BITCH" and brings her inside and tells her what the holiday actually is and how tamlin is giving back his power to the land for spring and then has to FUCK(??) and she needs to be away. she is like ?? and just goes to her room and then SNEAKS OUT AGAINNNNN later and runs into tamlin in the manor and he fucking presses her into a mall and they start making out and bumping and grinding and then bites her?? and then they go to bed.

more time goes and then it is summer or some shit i think and they are more into each other and they are having lunch or some shit and tamlin n lucien are like ??? HIDE bc they sense someone coming and lucien shoves feyres ass against a wall and covers her and puts a glamour on her to protect her and the hot ass mf from the festival night (rhysand) comes in like a jack ass and gives them shit. basically he realizes there is a glamour and is like FUCK YALL and makes it go away and sees feyre and is like "oh i know you" and goes into her mind and looks at tamlin like "why is she thinking about fuckin you??" and tamlin starts begging him not to tell this bitch named amarantha and rhysand makes him and lucien bow down to him and he leaves.

tamlin freaks out and is like "YOU HAVE TO LEAVE" and they FINALLY fuck andsays I LOVE YOU and then he makes feyre leave and go back to the mortal lands (he family thinks she has been helping a wealthy sick aunt, tamlin has been taking care of her family and made them rich again) and lucien was pissed she left. she gets back and nesta is like "wtf i remember everything you better spill bitch" and basically helps her after two weeks to get her back to the spring court after finding out nesta tried to save her.

feyre makes it back and the manor is fucked up from ppl destroying it and stealing everyone away and she finds alis there and alis basically tells her the truth. tamlin was LYING ABOUT EVERYTHINGGGGG. amarantha was a family friend of tamlins dad (dead) and was pissed tamlin wouldnt fuck her so she cursed him that he had to find a human girl with so much hate in her heart for fairies to kill one of his men and to get her to agree to come back and live on his land and fall in love with him in a certain amount of time and the curse thats on EVERYONE IN PRYTHIAN is lifted and thats why they wear they mask and she stoles bits of all the high lords powers.

feyre goes to where they are all at to save tamlin and agrees to do some hunger games ass trails with amarantha once a month on a full moon for 3 months or solve a riddle. jokes on feyre she is fucking ILITERATE. she gets the shit beat out of her and tamlin just watches. we learn that rhysand is amaranthas whore/right hand man and is taking a weird liking to feyre. he is randomly visiting/helping her. her first challenge is to fucking fight this big ass worm and she uses some damn bones and wins. lucien screamed out to help her, rhysand bet on her winning, she fucking broke her arm to the bone sticking out and is dying in her dirty ass vomit cell. rhysand comes and visit and is like 'i can save you but you have to make a deal and come hang out with me two weeks out of them month' and she is like 'fuck you ill die' and he goes to leave and she gets him to agree to one week and they make the deal and he seals it with a tattoo on her arm and heals her.

rhysand keeps basically helping her through out all the trials and the two nexts months she is under the mountain. you are kinda like ?? do we like him?? do we hate him?? its hard to tell. he is making her dress like a whore and getting her drunk every night but not doing anything with her but watching her and bringing her to her cell and helping with chores and shit. her second challenge is a fucking READING one and shes like "well...' and rhysand helps her through the bond of the deal tattoo and she wins.

the third challenge is to kill three fairies with an ashwood dagger, she kills the first two and when she goes for the third, its tamlin. she starts sobbing and freaking out as everyone is laughing ang hootin and hollering but then she remembers alis saying "you know everything already" and how she has over heard multiple times that ppl have said tamlin has a heart of stone so she goes on a limb and stabs the fucker. she is right and wins and the curse is broke and amarantha is pissed tf off and is like "WELL I DIDNT SAY WHEN HAHAHA" and everyone is pissed off and starts a riot and then feyre figures out the riddle and says the answers and amaratha is even more mad and starts beating the shit out of feyre and KILLS her.

tamlin starts sobbing and just holds her not doing SHIT and RHYSAND stabs amarathna and then tamlin starts doing shit and kills amarthana and then goes back to feyre and is like "please!!!!" and all of the high lords come up and give a lil shit light of something on her and we see that feyre is seeing something through another persons eyes and realize it is rhysands and because of the tattoo and then she falls asleep and this bitch WAKES UP!!!! and she is a HIGH FAE!!! the girl won and she was a fairy.

9/10 very good book, love the turns and twist def recommend, is a slow burn tho

[abyssal-cryptid]

Still thoughts about Tears of the Kingdom (SPOILERS)

The Great Fairies look like they want to eat the small man when they first emerge

Zonai Zelda is so cute

The memories bro the memories

THERE IS A SECOND GIANT HORSE

Why cant I put flowers in their mane

Please let me marry Zonai Zelda

Rauru is like lmao Zelda I wont die *dies*

Rauru dont give Zelda more trauma she has been through so much already

Rauru is like "we will put this all on Link"

HE'S BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH

I will write angry fanfic about this

Gleeoks are so terrifying what the fuck

You can upgrade your horses

What did they do to my beautiful dessert

They let me in as a man??? Noooo I was waiting to enjoy the complicated feelings of Link's gender again

Riju looks so good in this new look

Its so hot everywhere

Nooo my coins my coins!!!

Again doing shrines because I need hearts and stamina

I am a well enthusiast

I caught the golden horsie

Trying to find a perfect colored 5* speed horse is hard

Why are there gleeoks everywhere

IVE BEEN COLLECTING HORSE GEAR

Outfits my one true love

My horses are so cute

Let me customize the big horses pleaseee

I need to murder more deer for coins

Need to go deal with the Lurelin Village Pirates

DID I FREAK OUT ABOUT GIBDOS YET

I HATE THEM

Sorry I write these while Im not playing so I dont always remember to go in order

Im also writing fanfic because of course I am look at me

YOU CAN MAKE PICKAXES FROM THE MOBLIN HORNS

Im having so much fun

Shrines are becoming less awful

MY GOD I HATE GANONDORF

NOT SONIA

NOOOO

Wait how is Zelda the descendant of Sonia and Rauru if Sonia died without children

I saved this man's goats

Satori mountain is said to have endura carrots. I need them please

THE STICKY ARMOR LOOKS SO COOL

Im pro-all armors that show off Link's cool arm

I looked up how to get to Hestu and

I know what I need to do but I dont have the strength to do it

No joke theyre evil for this

How do I get gloom resistant armor

Playing the Zora main questline

The sky island has moon gravity!!

Where is Kass

The new dragon is a Light Dragon

Finally some good fucking food (All the apples on satori mountain)

Me: oh shit blood moon should be soon

Literally the next night: blood moon

Im a psychic

You are correct Roman there is so many apples here you do deserve some here you go baby boy

The checkmark you get for caves is if you killed the Bubbulfrog in there

I need to kill more

I want the full mystic armor

I have one friend who isnt into LOZ and I could tell all this to her but its no fun if she knows nothing about it

She does send me Zelda memes tho. 10/10 friend

Finally endura carrots

WAIT HOLD ON YIGA CLOTHES

OMG FINALLY

I love Malanya so much

Best god

I love Sidon but my god is he just in the way during the Water Temple

On the way, making me waste my bubbles, why do I have to be next to him to get the bubble

GET OUT OF THE WAY LET ME HIT THE CROCODILE

Useless

Hearing Zelda being referred to as the Sage of Time >>>>

Also I will not shut up about how pretty Zelda is

I have to draw her

Im a simple lesbian

My switch camera is full of screenshots of her

Every cutscene has her be so pretty

Sidon made me my own copy of him

And this man isnt marrying me

KING DOREPHAN DIDNT DIE

YAY

I dont think I could have handled that

WAIT SIDON'S BECOMING KING???

My camera roll is also full of screenshots of Sidon

NOO YONA BECAME QUEEN

DONT CALL HER BELOVED SIDON

SIDON STOP CALLING HER ENDEARING NAMES

SIDON

Yona is actually really sweet Im just having a moment

A sad day for Sidon lovers everywhere

King Sidon is handsome

He literally got on his knees to swear a vow to me and gave me a ring and married Yona

Yona is cute and I love her

Like her voice too

She's adorable

Maybe we can do a triad

Political(ish) marriage + one crackhead who attracts all the trouble

No because I still actively avoid spots where there used to be guardians

I was at a stable and went "no cant go that way there's guardians"

Nightmares wont give up ever apparently

ALSO HAVE YALL SEEN THE TIKTOKS OF LIKE

PEOPLE ABUSING THE BACKBAG KOROKS

There has been so many crucifications. The Korok Space Program. Fire is involved

I've also seen people build bombers and mechs

I love it

It seems so wild to me because I dont build in this game

If I can avoid it

I do use the dispensers but thats because its gambling

But all the material spots just get ignored

Nope

Dont care

Im going on Roman (my horsie)

But I love everyone is vibing

But still. I need easy mode

These posts are how I process the game btw. Been surprised that people have liked them. I will keep going because I have to process what I feel about things (doctor's orders)

[cheesewelsom]

I literally had no idea for this fic, but whatever. [ Oceans sisters name is Sea i literally dont want to talk about grammar right now. ]

⚠️⚠️ drugs ⚠️⚠️

" this is my stop. " I announced to the taxi driver. He made a sudden stop at that moment that made me lose my momentum and jolt forward hitting the passenger seat.

"Then get out girlie. " His voice sounded like sandpaper. She could smell the pipe tabacco from the evident smoke that escapes his mouth. Her displeasure must've shown on her face because the horribly stubble mustache man groaned as he loudly hit the black steering wheel. "GET OUT. "

"I HAVEN'T PAID. " She angerly shouted, she forcefully got out the pocket money and slammed it on the chair beside her. "And go to a barbers shop, your beard looks like it an angry Dunkin Donut machine made it. " She opened the car door stepped out then loudly closed it.

As it drove away, she looks at the house in front of her. "Lazy taxi. " Sea rolled her eyes as she marched towards the door, she knocked twice, then thrice. Then she raised a brow at the continued silence.

"Did they forget i visit every month??? " Sea puffed angerly, "first the driver and now my own god given parents? "She looked around the front yard to see two vases filled with.. some weird kind of plant? "What? "She blinked slowly, then went around them to see keys on the bottom.. "Well, that was easy. "She

Bends down on the floor and picked up the keys, goes towards the door and opened it up.

The smell hit her harder than a bag of bricks. "Oh dear Morgan's living deers, what's that atrocious smell? "She was thankful that all her clothes are in a ziploc bag, she knew some weird spunk smell would be the stuck on the walls, but not this kind of smell.

"Its horrendous! " She coughed, she honestly felt a little dizzy inhaling this much, and this was just the entrance of the house. She coughed a few times and stepped back off the door and swung it open so the odor would filter out.

"Gosh, im dizzy. "She needed a few minutes to recollect herself, then she made the smart decision to leave her bag at the front of the yard then do a re-try of entering the horror house.

She covers her nose with her shirt, pinned by her hand. Then she steps forward, the deeper she got the more she could smell, "my gosh someone help me. "She held on to a nearby wall as she entered the living room to see two people messed up out of their minds, dead on the couch, while a bong was sitting in their low wooden table.

She blinked a couple of times, then looked around the house. what have they been doing?  Smoking their brains out?

She heard crash as she flinched, she looked around the living room to see who made the noise, but the two adults were off their feet on the couch. Then another crash came.

She looked around for anything to defend herself with then remembered her baseball bat she hid in the floorboards when she still lived in this unsaturated hole. She crouched down to open one of the nearby floor boards to see her bat.

"Hah, something good DID come out of hiding your weapons at the secret base of the enemies. " She smirked as she took the baseball bat. She stood up and exited the living room, crouching down as she did.

She stalked around to see anything, then a third crash.. it came from her sisters room. She was confused on to why there was glass cracking in her sisters room but she still slowly made her way towards the room, she stopped to look look behind her to see if anyone followed, none, then look through the doorway to see her sister punching her mirror.

"Ocean? "She called out, her heart rate picking up in speed as she slowly came forward towards her little sister, her bat pointing downward but still in her hand. Caution taking over. "Ocean, it's me.  "

A silence loomed, then her sister turned around.

She was rendered speechless. Ocean has this greyish skin, Something you'd get during winter season. Bags under her eyes, and her jaw was slightly slackened. Her bat slipped off of her hand in shock.

"Ocean? "

"Who-who are you? Penny? " She stood there motionless as she looked at her high sister. "Penny " then suddenly she started crying, she ran towards her and hugged her. "Penny, they were horrible today! "And ocean just kept going on and on, complaining and complaining about their parents. And she didn't like what she heard.. so she pretend to be this.. ' Penny '

"Uhh, where's Constance? " She asked as she tried to pry Ocean off of her, since Ocean's skin made her itch like fire ants. Ocean looked at her weirdly.

"Why are you getting rid of me? Are you still angry? Im so sorry "Ocean started to panic so suddenly, it came out of nowhere! Sea was panicking at her sister since this was not her. Ocean latched on to her even more.

"Right, she's stoned. " She murmured lowly for her sister not to hear, she must've not because she was still rambling about something or other.

"Please don't tell my parents! I don't want them to leave me like she left me. " The last part was faint but she could still hear her. Right, a topic to latch on.

"Who left you? " She asked, then a wave of words left her mouth. More accurately her name, she expected this, this may get her some more time to scan Ocean's room.

Her eyes wondered around to see it! A phone. She tried to get Ocean off her again but she latched on harder. She took a deep breath the Ocean backed off? "Sorry you must've been annoyed of me by now. "

Sea should comfort her sister.. but this is the only time she has space for herself to actually reach the phone. Geez acting as this Penny girl is taking a mental toll on her.

"No, no of course not! "She slowly backed away and towards the phone. "I would never Ocean, you know that. " Sea convinced, then she searched around for her sisters phone while still maintaining eye contact with Ocean, when she felt her sisters phone.. then suddenly Ocean blinked at her.

"Penny are you okay? You're acting weirdly, did i do something wrong? " Then out of nowhere, Ocean broke down on the floor crying at the idea of being wrong.

.. her parents really scrapped this girl from head to toe, shaved her of all of her pride and left a she box filled with necessities to live in this shit hole..

She slowly crouch down, while holding the phone. She hugged Ocean, Sea's legs spread at Oceans side's while Ocean wrapped her legs on her waist and her arms around her neck.. like some red panda. Comforted her crying sister while texting her friend.. then she saw a group chat? St Cassian Choir?

... What choir? Gosh, she was so in-depth in her sisters life... Right, that's called neglect.. she finished the message and sent to her friends.

"I should visit more she never tells me these things. " She mumbled under her breath. But her head was nested on Oceans shoulder.

"Wha-? " Ocean sounded breathless, Sea blinked as she looked at Ocean.

"Ocea- "

She got slapped.

"Kh! "  She hissed while touching her cheek, anger boiling inside her as she angerly stared at her sister... Then Ocean started to hysterically cry.

Sea was frozen, she's been doing that alot now.. stopping while something important is happening. "O-ocean? "

"Why? Why are you here? To laugh? " With an accusational tone, Ocean angerly pointed at her, "you, you, you keep leaving,  you don't even tell me anything anymore! How can you come in and just violate my privacy? " She stared at Ocean starstruck. The sting on her cheek kept her on the ground while her sister blew her ear off.

She didn't even defend herself and let her sister have this. Shouting her frustrations away then suddenly she heard a knock, her heart almost leaps out of her chest as she heard them. She stood up, her sister right on her tail, she opened the window to see some 5 foot something Ukrainian guy. They stared at each for a few seconds.

"Who the fuck? "

"Language! " Ocean suddenly shouted. Sea flinched at the loud voice.

"Whom the fuck? "

"Ah, take Ocean first. "She said as she took her sisters hand and led him to the guy, "... Wait who are- "

" Oh im one of oceans friends, you are? " He asked defensively. Sea was just as confused honestly.

"Her blood relative- sister from College. "She explained, not wanted to the lumped around as the same group as her mother. "You can take her. "

"What about you? " He asked with a raised brow.

"Oh, i have some unfinished business. " Sea grumbled as she looked dat the doorway, "i still have to do something real quick, just take my sister out of here and if you can, take care of her. " She led her sister to the ukrainian guy.

"You speak of her as if she is a liability, you can trust me when i say she's not. " He says, with an emphasis on the not. She was taken aback at the toughness of the boy.

"Im not. "She puffed, "now grab my sister, i still have business to attend. " Ocean came forward towards the ukrainian boy and hugged him. The boy hugged back then princess carried her, he threw a mean look before he left.

"Ocean really has friends huh? "She mumbled, then she heard footsteps, her heart sank as she remembered Oceans loud crying.

Sea was full on panicking, looking around the room for her bat then she saw it at the entrance of the doorway. She could hear the footsteps getting louder and louder, her heart beside her ears because that's all she could hear.

She was shacking in fear, she didn't know where to go, she was stuck just beside a closed window, a bed, the closet a few meters away and no lamp shade. Then, she heard a gruff.

She looked at the doorway to see her father, he looked just as jacked as she saw him laying on the couch, stupidly she tried to run pass him but he somehow got the bat, Sea used her hands to protect her from the hit. Her dad swung the bad upright, her right arm crushed by a single blow.

"AAAAAAAAAACk!? " Pain traveled up and down her right arm, attacking everything, it felt like her bones are breaking faster than an earthquake ruining everything, it felt like her bones and breaking and mending back together. It was so painful that she didn't notice her dad taking another swing, this time sideways.

Her left shoulder got the brunt of it. She did a whole body shudder as the pain traveled all over. Her Dad was taking a nother, longer swing and that's when she pounced, she bit his trapezius so hard it started to bleed out, he kept hitting but she didn't let go. They both fell back as he kept hitting her back.

After she could close her teeth inside his skin, she let go and left him to bleed, he must've been in shock because he wasn't even moving anymore.

She sat up, grabbed her bat and slowly left the room. She was scared because she still had her mother to deal with. "Maybe i should just exit through the window. " She whispered as she left the room.

She walks towards the kitchen, opens the door, a she heard a swizzle through the air and a think right beside her. Her mother threw a fucking knife, that landed right next to the light switch.

"Oh holy Morgana, " she slowly turned her face to see the blade. "Im going to beat this bitch up. " She took her bat and everything happened too fast for her.

She swung, her mother threw another knife, she swung again, it hits her mother but the knife her mother had in hand hit her too. Back and forth, after her bat his her mothers head ( lightly ) she looked at herself for a bit.

Her right hand that was already rigged, had a knife inside of it directly in her palm, her clothes were ripped and she honestly looked like she came out of a serial killer, murder mystery.

"Hmm, maybe we can eat with all of them.. Ocean's friends. "She murmured as she looked around for something, "maybe tim hortons? Constance place? Ocean did say they had good food. " Everything was flipping upward, the place was gliding and snapping back in place. She scavenge the kitchen for a atleast a med kit, nothing.

"What were they doing with their lives? "She tsked, all she can see is weed.

That it, she's cleaning this place, top to bottom.

Started with the kitchen, cleared out all of the weed, bongs and incense. The bong water was flushed down the toilet, the weed was burned when she started a fire in her backyard.

She just cleaned everything. Cigarettes, Rolls, Coke, Marijuana, Cigar, Cinnamon, Sativa, Indica, Ruderalis, any type of Cannabis, edible she could find. And chuck it straight into the fire..

"Why the fuck is this houses Weed supply more impressive than antarctica's water supply? " She swiped her sweat off her forehead, "oh fuck, i need to puke. "

After puking, burning everything, putting out the fire, bandaging her parents with clothes, packed oceans things, closed the door and threw the key outside, barricaded the doors and left. Picking up her bag on the front porch.

"Agh, finding where their secret stash was a fuck around and find out moment. "She grumbled, then she suddenly remembered.. where the fuck is her sister.

"....." Her phone buzzed, she reached down in her pocket and fished it out to see the caller. She pressed the call button, then the speaker. "Hello. "

"SEAA! Why am i in Mischa's place!? Where are you??? " Her sister was full on screaming through the screen. Sea's hand throbbed in pain as to why? She didn't take the knife out yet. It's still stuck there.

"Sis calm down. " She calmly said, " im currently at the house, where are you? "Her voice sounded a bit like sand paper to her, and her cheek hurts.. it must've been from the knives her mom threw, one of them was close to her face.

"Wait there- I'll go ba- "

"No. Don't. " She commanded, "don't come back here, in this soggy, sad, bad house. "She literally couldn't think of anything else to say, "it's shit and.. and i kinda- I'll explain. " She's getting dizzy, it was so hard to breath and her right arm was pounding like amputation is the only answer to get out of this pain, and her left shoulder? It hurt even using it. "Don't move. Don't come here. "She swayed left to right before steadying herself again, "I'm coming to you, where are you? "

"Don't worry about me, one of my friends are coming to pick you up. " Ocean sounded teary, she didn't know why. "His name is noel. "

"Nole? "

"Uhuhm. "

Then everything went black.

_________ pt 1, done.

[thelittlethings66]

The Quarry

I slowly wake up in my tent struggling to keep my eyes open having not slept much. All I can think about is how Daryl will react to the bad news when he gets back, knowing he will want to go and find his brother. As I walk out of my tent, I notice Ed arguing with his wife in the distance I think her name is Carol, I have noticed bruises on her everyone has but we don't know how to help he makes sure that they keep a distance from the group. As I am standing there watching we all hear a scream in the distance, I grab hold of my knife in my pocket and run up the hill with the others. Carl and Sophia come running out of the bushes screaming. 'What the hell they have never come this far up before'. Says Shane. There was a deer on the ground being eaten by a walker. 'Oh my god that's disgusting.' Says Amy. The guys all start hitting the walker to stop it, but nothing is working until Dale chops it's head off. Suddenly we hear a rustling in the bushes and Daryl appears bow in hand squirrels over his shoulders. 'Son of bitch, that's my deer!'. He shouts. 'Been tracking it for miles.' He starts swearing and kicking the deer. Then the walkers head starts moving so I stab it in the head. Everyone looks at me. 'What, gotta get the brain'. Daryl stomps off shouting for Merle glancing at me on his way past. 'Merle! Get your ugly ass out here! I got us some squirrel, stew it up'. 'Daryl, just slow up a bit. I need to talk to you.' Says Shane. 'About what.' 'About Merle.' 'There was a.... problem in Atlanta.' 'He dead?'. We're not sure.' 'He either is or he ain't.' I notice Rick starting to move closer. 'No easy way to say this, so I'll just say it.' Rick says. 'Who are you? 'Rick Grimes' 'Rick Grimes, you got something you wanna tell me? 'Your brother was a danger to us all, so I handcuffed him on a roof, hooked him to a piece of metal. He is still there.' 'Hold on let me process this, you're saying you handcuffed my brother to a roof, and you left him there? 'Yeah.' Daryl starts walking around then throws the squirrels at Rick. Then Shane runs in and tackles Daryl tries to calm him down, puts him in a headlock. 'Now I would like to have  a calm discussion about this, do you think you can manage that?' Rick asks. Daryl looks and you, grunts and Shane let's go.

'It was my fault'. T-Dog suddenly says. 'What?''I dropped the key.' 'Pick it up!' 'I tried it fell down a drain'. He explains. 'I chained the door to the roof so they couldn't get to him, with a padlock'. Daryl starts rubbing his eyes getting emotional. 'The hell with y'all! Just tell me where he is and I will go and get him'. 'I'll go with you'. Rick says.'Well that's great risking your life for a douchebag like Merle Dixon'. Shane complains. 'Hey watch your mouth'. Says Daryl.

In the end its Daryl, Glenn, T and Rick going into Atlanta to find Merle. Whilst the guys are all getting ready to go I walk over to Daryl who is sitting on his own cleaning his arrows.' Hey.''Hey'. 'He's tough im sure he will be fine'. 'Mm'. He stays looking at the ground. 'Anyway, good luck'. He doesnt say anything so you walk away. After a while they all start saying goodbye but Daryl is getting impatient and is pacing around outside the van. 'Come on let's go!' He shouts. They pile into the van and he looks at you and nods as they drive away.

I sit by the water with some of the women helping to wash the clothes. 'Well this isn't very fair, look at all the men sat there doing nothing.' I say.' Why are you surprised? Says Andrea. ' I know but you would think it would change now the worlds over'. I say. 'It's just the way it is'. Says Carol as she looks over at her husband Ed. As we sit talking Ed wonders over smoking 'what's so funny?' He says. 'Just swapping war stories Ed'. Says Andrea. I start to worry knowing this isnt gonna end well. 'You outta focus on your work, ain't no comedy club'. He says. Andrea stands up. 'You know Ed you could pitch in if you dont like how your laundry is done'. She throws a towel at him, he throws it back. 'Ain't my job missy.''Then what is your job Ed, sitting on your ass smoking cigarettes?' 'Well I aint gonna listen to some college educated bitch, come on, let's go'. He says to Carol.' She's not going with you'. I stand up. 'Shut it princess peach, come on or you will regret it later'. He threatens his wife. 'Its ok i'll go'. Says Carol. 'What so she shows up with fresh bruises tomorrow, we have all seem them.' Says Jacqui. Ed starts laughing. 'I'm done talking let's go'. He pulls on her arm we all try to pull her back. He slaps her in the face. I walk forward and punch him in the face making him wobble on his feet.' Get off her! I shout. Suddenly Shane drags him along the floor and starts beating him punching him over and over. 'Stop it! Shane stop it!'  Shouts Amy. Carol is on the floor crying. He keeps going until Ed has passed out blood all over him. Shane then walks off. 'Ed I'm so sorry, im sorry, I'm sorry'. Carol cries. We all stand there not knowing what to do. 'Ashley your hand'. Says Amy. 'Oh yeah sorry don’t know what come over me..'. 'Oh shut it, please do it again.' Says Andrea as she walks over to Carol.

I lay in my tent needing some space after everything that happened my hand in pain and wrapped up. The more I lay there I start to worry about the guys, Daryl, if they are all ok. If they have found Merle.

[josephslittledeputy]

Do you think Pratts scar on his face is from the helicopter crash or from Jacob??

[erodasfishtacos]

Cheating!h blurb where ana asks why they dont have sex or at a party and she’s trying to pull him into a room and y/n watching him try to make excuses and then next time having sex with y/n he says anna keeps trying and she has the pride he doesnt give in... or something exploring that situation

warnings: smut, cheating, angst

“Anna, I just-“ Harry huffs as she tugs him into a spare bedroom of the party after he had put up a valiant fight to keep them in the main area.

Her hands are unbuttoning his already barely buttoned shirt, running down his bare skin, and he is cut off by a sloppy kiss to his mouth.

Fear shoots up through him, it’s not YN, he doesn’t want this with her.

“C’mon, it’s been almost six months and you still haven’t touched me. Just fuck me,” Anna complains, fed up with the lack of or more like nonexsistence of their sex life.

It was near impossible to believe, someone like Harry who oozed sex out of every pore of his body wasn’t sexually active or interested in fucking his girlfriend.

When Anna takes a different approach of going for his belt buckle, mouth trailing against his collarbone, and attempting to get to his groin - which hadn’t hardened in the slightest.

“Enough,” Harry states firmly, grasping her wrists lightly and making her look at him, “I don’t want to have sex right now, okay?”

His girlfriend’s face falters, “You never want to.”

“If you don’t like it break up with me,” He hisses, knowing YN is going to get suspicious the longer they’re in a room together.

Anna, who really did have a kind heart, frowns, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to pressure you into anything. I would never force you to.”

Harry just rebuttons his shirt, “S’fine. Let’s just get back to the party and have a good time, yeah?”

She nods as Harry swings his arm around her shoulder, unlocking the door, and pausing when he sees YN a bit of the ways down the corridor - staring at the two leaving the bedroom.

“I’m going to get a drink,” He dismisses bluntly, his focus set on the girl who was visible angry with him in the kitchen.

Before he can get out a word, she steps forward and swipes her thumb against his collarbone.

It comes back with the waxy substance of Anna’s bright mauve lipstick.

“Have fun in there, did you?” YN asks, she tries to keep her tone cool and unbothered by Harry sees right through it to the insecurity.

“You know I didn’t,” He replies between gritted teeth, how could she get jealous when this was all her?

He didn’t want a girlfriend.

Well he did but he only want her and she fucking knew that.

“If you wanted me to believe you, maybe you would have wiped her lipstick marks from your neck and chest,” She chuckles and it makes Harry’s hair on the back of his neck stand up.

It was the distinct chuckle and tone she used when she was upset but wasn’t going to admit it over her dead body.

Before he can call her out, she shoulders past him, disappearing into the dancing crowd of people and out of his side.

“Fuck,” He mutters, running a hand through his hair before trudging off to find Niall and Zayn - to distract himself.

-

“Stay the night, please?” Anna asks softly when Harry pulls up to her small, quaint little house that fit her perfectly.

“M’sorry. I have a long day tomorrow.”

It was a lie. It was rarer that he told the truth to his girlfriend than fibbing.

“So? Let’s cuddle, do something,” She begs, frustrated with her emotionally and sometimes physically distant boyfriend.

Harry shakes his head, “Maybe next weekend.”

He always said that.

It never happened.

—

As soon as he drops off Anna, his next stop is a route that is ingrained in his head front and backwards, her apartment.

He has a key, doesn’t bother knocking and just barges into the dimly lit house with her shoes tossed clumsily on the floor - almost trips.

When he finds her, she’s in a towel - freshly showered, and brushing through her hair in her small walk-in closet.

She heard him come in, knew he was storming in here, and still didn’t turn around when he slammed open her bedroom door.

He’s crowding behind her, knocking the brush out of her hand, and pinning her to the wall, “You’re so bloody ridiculous. You jealous little brat.”

YN doesn’t respond, her body still wound tight with tension and a gluttonous feeling of rage for earlier in the night.

“Been fuckin’ you and only you since I was seventeen. Y’know that I didn’t fuck her, didn’t even touch her and you still have the nerve to act like a crybaby,” Harry seethes, his whole chest pressed against her back, no room to escape.

“Her lipstick was all over you,” She argues back weakly when his hands come to the knot in her towel, teasing at unraveling.

“Yeah because she was begging me to fuck her and I said ‘no’ so she tried to get in my pants and I pushed her off.”

“Why?” YN murmurs, quiet in the small space.

“You fuckin’ know why,” Harry growls with his teeth grazing across her bare shoulder blade.

“Say it.”

“I pushed her off ‘cause you’re the only person I’ve fucked since I was seventeen. My cock is yours,” He rasps, untying the knot and letting the towel drop.

He wishes she would just end all this bullshit.

Let him have her fully and completely but she was so fucking afraid of getting hurt when it wouldn’t happen.

“Go on, tell me who owns this cunt,” Harry demands, hand tucking between her thick thighs to cup her puffy mound in his hand.

“H,” She whimpers as his finger lightly slides up the wet groove of her center with a careful drag.

When she doesn’t give him the answer he wants, he gives her clit a hard pinch, “Don’t make me repeat myself.”

“Yours, fuck - it’s yours,” YN huffs at the slight but welcome pain on her nerves - relaxing when it returns to soft strokes.

“Anna is pretty, y’know? Had her on me, kissing my neck, unbuttoning my shirt and shit,” Harry hums against her ear, two fingers sinking into the tight heat of her body.

He continues, “Didn’t even get hard when that happened. That’s how fucking trained I am for you. What a tight fucking leash you have me on.”

YN turns a bit into putty at his words, insecurity slow flooding out of her body, and feeling more like how she usually does.

“How do y’ever forget? How much I love you?” He asks in true disbelief, it literally oozes through his pores how much he adores his high school sweetheart.

“Don’t-“ She squeaks desperately.

“Why won’t you let me tell you how much I love you, baby?”

His voice like dark, sweet honey that seeps into her every nerve-ending and makes her feel lethargic, in a boneless silky way.

“Stop plea- Just touch me,” YN begs when his fingers crook into against her plushy, tight walls with focused strokes.

“You need to admit it, y’stubborn little thing. I know how in love you are with me,” Harry pushes, needing to hear validation from his favorite person on this earth.

He squats down, spreading her cheeks, and leaning in to lick from the top of clit all the way back to her other entrance.

His large palms keeping her apart, digging into the thick skin until his fingers are white - tongue finding her core and darting in to her most sensitive area.

“H, oh my god,” YN moans, head falling forward against the wall, pushing her hips backward into his mouth.

“Darling, c’mon. Show me how sweet y’can be f’me,” Harry goads encouragingly, it always took a little bit of effort to get her to break.

“I love you….s’much,” She whispers, voice cracking on the last syllable as he rewards her with a suckling kiss to her clit and slips his fingers back in.

“I know y’do, baby. You know I’d never give it to anyone but you,” Harry coos, anything to get her to soften her harsh edges, chip away at her stone wall.

Her hand reaches behind to weave through his hair, her stomach sucking in harshly as she feels her tight band snap as she releases.

“O-oh, you’re mine. Y’mine,” His love chants as she rides out her intense wave of her orgasm as he helps her through it.

“M’yours,” Harry agrees immediately, standing up and a smile breaks on his face when she turns around and wraps him into a hug.

“I love you. I know you didn’t touch her. I just hate it,” YN murmurs softly, undoing his shirt and sliding it off of his shoulders.

His smile fades at her words, “Then make it stop. The minute you tell me you’re ready to make this work, I’ll break up with her.”

“I’m no-not ready,” She stammers, eyes widening like a deer in headlights at his words.

So afraid. So fucking scared.

“Okay, okay,” He soothes when he sees her chest start to rise faster and faster with anxiety.

He doesn’t want to drop it.

He wants to shake her and ask her how the fuck she doesn’t see that they’re already in a relationship and she’s being blinded by irrational fears.

Harry waddles them over to her messy bed, pushing her back and adjusting until she’s in the center - staring at him with doe eyes.

He loves her so much it hurts to look at her for too long.

When he tugs off his jeans, taking his phone out to put on the side table - he sees an unread text from Anna.

I’m sorry about earlier. I really want to make it work with you. You’re a great guy x

Harry should feel bad. Maybe his stomach should have dropped or something at how awful he’s being to that girl.

But when his love is splayed out, pliant and malleable for him, he can’t find an ounce of fucks to give as he tosses it on the bedside table.

He had been in love with this girl since he was sixteen, never fell out of it, he was addicted to her - willing to go through all this bullshit if it meant he had her.

It always felt like the first time, crawling on top of her, and bending down to pull her puffy lips into a strong kiss as he slides in, always a pleasant stretch.

As they move together, in a familiar rhythm, she murmurs against his lips, “One day, I’ll be ready.”

“Please, make it soon, darlin’,” Harry pleas, swallowing harshly before pushing his emotions into hard, deep thrusts.

[saturndivine]

The Ferality of Mars

»»————-　➴　————-««»»————-　➴

Feral: "Existing in a wild or untamed state"

When I think of Mars, I think of the Greek god, Ares. I think of the heart pumping blood throughout the body to keep it alive. I think of passion, ferocity, and rawness. Mars is the planet of emotion, similarly to the moon but with a more sinister twist. Mars wants you to feel everything and create with that energy, Mars wants you to be overwhelmed with emotion, so much so it consumes and guides you. Mars wants you to feel everything. It is known as a Malefic Planet because of its inability to be tamed and controlled but Mars isn’t about having control, its about intuition and allowing yourself to be guided by the invisible force that encourages you to nuzzle into your most primal and authentic state and honor that part of you. 

[Yes I will be using Hozier lyrics that represent the ferality of each sign]

Aries Mars [Mars in 1st]

When I picture Aries Mars at its most feral state, I visualize a forest fire consuming everything in its path, absorbing nature to feed as fuel. With Mars in its rulership, Aries Mars has no issue releasing, guided by their heart throughout it all to overcome whatever may stand in their way. They move quickly and harshly, striking first and questioning later. You mold life into what you want it to be so there is no need for you to even plan right? As an unstoppable force, you have to let your heart take control. 

“There's no plan, there's no race to be run

The harder the pain, honey, the sweeter the sun

There's no plan, there's no kingdom to come

Sit in & watch the sunlight fade, honey, enjoy its getting late

Theres no plan, theres no hand on the reign,

...As Mack explained, there will be darkness again”

Taurus Mars [Mars in 2nd]

When I picture Taurus Mars at its most feral state, I imagine a bear tearing its way through a beehive, grasping at the honeycombs and devouring it in a matter of seconds. With a venus-ruled mars or mars in detriment, you all look for the sweeter things in life and insist that you are worthy of goodness and don’t mind taking it for yourself. Conflict is stupid to you because you have your own morals and studies and firmly believe in what you desire and if anyone steps to you, you have the power to throw it right back in their face. You are the raging bull, undefeated once you’re committed. But you represent the tamer, earthy side of Mars.

“I have never known peace like the damp grass that yields to me.

I have never known hunger, like these insects that feast on me.

A thousand teeth, and yours among them, I know.

Our hungers appeased, our heartbeats becoming slow.” 

Gemini Mars [Mars in 3rd]

When I picture Gemini Mars at its most feral state, I picture the rebirth that spring offers. The energy of this mars sign matches the intensity of the rising sun and falling rain that causes the flowers to blossom and fill the earth with its aroma. It is quite impossible to stop a determined Gemini, they want to leave their mark on this earth and do so in many different ways as they are indestructible, powered by the combination of their mind and their heart which creates an explosion upon collision. To get in the way of this placement is to stand in the way of the changing seasons, impossible. 

“Each day you'd rise with me, know that I would gladly be the Icarus to your certainty.

Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight.

Strap the wing to me, death trap clad happily, with wax melted, I’d meet the sea,

Under sunlight, sunlight, sunlight.”

Cancer Mars [Mars in 4th]

When I picture Cancer Mars at its most feral state, I visualize the crumbling of the earth into itself, only to grow back in a healthier form. A resilient placement that can have the worst thrown at them and come back only more beautiful. In the introduction, I discussed how both Moon and Mars share a common goal but the Moon goes about it a different way, as Cancer Mars goes about martian energy in a different way as well. With mars in fall, Cancer takes the soft approach to ferality, embracing the harsh energy and converting it into tenderness. 

“And I love too, that love soon might end, 

be known in its aching, shown in the shaking,

Lately of my wasteland, baby. 

Be still, my indelible friend, you are unbreaking,

Though quaking, though crazy

That's just wasteland, baby.” 

Leo Mars [Mars in 5th]

When I picture Leo Mars at its most feral state I see a blinding white-hot light overcoming anyone and everyone in its path, forcing others to bend to its will simply by doing what it does naturally. As a fixed mars, Leos energy is continuous and bold, quite difficult to escape if a Leo Mars has you in their eye line. They are everywhere, they rule the heart so they rule ferality in a way, diving back into their lion roots and fully delving into the fact that they are the rulers of the jungle and rulers of the world.

“Be love in its disrepute, scorches the hillside and salts every root 

And watches the slowing and starving of troops

And, lover, be good to me.

Be there and just as you stand or be like the rose that you hold in your hand 

That will grow bold in a barren and desolate land

Oh, lover, be good to me.”

Virgo Mars [Mars in 6th]

When I picture Virgo Mars at its most feral state I can clearly gaze upon an open field, a deer nosing at grass only to be pounced on by a random predator, yet Virgo represents both the predator and the prey, enforcing balance and really honoring nature fully. Virgo Mars is one of the most ferocious and determined martian placement because they understand how to use the life around them to their advantage. Failure is impossible because they are always ten steps ahead of everyone else. They understand balance, both aggressiveness, and peacefulness. 

“With the war of the fire, my heart moves to its feet

Like the ashes of ash, I saw eyes in the heat

Feel it soft and as pure as snow, fell in love with the fire long ago

With each love I could lose, I was never the same

Watch it still live in roofs, be consumed by the flame

I was fixed on your hand of gold, laying waste of my lovin' long ago”

Libra Mars [Mars in 7th]

When I picture Libra Mars at its most feral state, I see a person walking into a mossy lake only to never come out again. There is a slight underestimation when people first get to know the Libra Mars.  This martian placement matches up with tricky Aphrodite, Libra mars has secrets they dont want unturned, they have a hidden past that they want to be kept to themselves because they are never the people they were a few moments ago. They are evolving and healing, rubbing soil on their open wounds to grow into a new version of themselves. 

“I had a thought, dear, however scary about that night, the bugs and the dirt.

Why were you digging? What did you bury before those hands pulled me from the earth?

I will not ask you where you came from, I will not ask and neither should you. 

Honey, just put your sweet lips on my lips, we should just kiss like real people do.” 

Scorpio Mars [Mars in 8th]

When I picture Scorpio Mars at its most feral state, there is a black burning tree in the middle of the falling snow, crackling and popping and falling to the pieces onto blankets of snow only to keep burning. Mars takes a different approach in this rulership, it is calculated, ready, and sure of whatever move is to be made as if it has been practiced for quite some time. There is no defeating a Scorpio mars, only succumbing, bending to its will, and praying that they will take mercy on your soul. 

“If I was born as a blackthorn tree, I'd wanna be felled by you, held by you

Fuel the pyre of your enemies.

Ain't it warming you, the world gone up in flames?

Ain't it the life you, your lighting of the blaze?

Ain't it a waste they'd watch the throwing of the shade?

Ain't you my baby, ain't you my babe?”

Sagittarius Mars [Mars in 9th]

When I picture Sagittarius Mars at its most feral state, I see the serpent in the garden of Eden sliding on its belly and offering an option of freedom, going against the grain of submissiveness. Sagittarius Mars tends to ooze this raw sex appeal that stems from their confidence & their need to question the life around them, never satisfied by what is given to them, instead they leave their own mark on the world before them by embracing individuality and moving along their own path. 

“I'd be the voice that urged Orpheus when her body was found. 

I'd be the choiceless hope in grief that drove him underground.

I'd be the dreadful need in the devotee that made him turn around.

And I'd be the immediate forgiveness in Eurydice,

Imagine being loved by me.” 

Capricorn Mars [Mars in 10th]

When I picture Capricorn Mars at its most feral state, I imagine the fall of an empire, a civilization, a society, forced to come to terms with the fact that its reign has come to an end. Mars in exalt, arguably one of the most powerful placements to have in the natal chart, there isn’t a way to prevent the energy of a Capricorn Mars, they are backed by Saturn, two malefic energies combining to create an unbeatable power and manifesting as strength in the native who claims this energy. 

“It's the light, and it's the obstacle that casts it

It's the heat that drives the light, It's the fire it ignites,

It's not the waking, it's the rising.

It's not the song, it is the singing.

It's the heaven of a human spirit ringing.

It is the bringing of the line, It is the bearing of the rhyme

It's not the waking, it's the rising.”

Aquarius Mars [Mars in 11th]

When I picture Aquarius Mars at its most feral state, I visualize a group of nude women, dancing around an intense fire, the full moon shining only for them as they howl out into the wind. Aquarius Mars is a placement that understands how to honor their roots and get back in touch with themselves to move to the future. They use their past to propel them into new opportunities and to become a higher version of themselves. There is no obstructing this futuristic placement, eyes steady on the prize that remains up ahead. 

“When you move, I can recall something that's gone from me

When you move honey, I'm put in awe of something so flawed and free.

So move me, baby, shake like the bough of a willow tree,

You do it naturally, move me, baby.” 

Pisces Mars [Mars in 12th]

When I picture Pisces Mars at its most feral state, I envision a floating sailor, sinking in with each song that leaves the siren’s voice only to realize that it is too late as the last of air leaves their lungs and they now become one with the siren. Pisces Mars has the gift of “innocence” that people project onto them and they understand how to use it to their advantage and come out on top. Deception is a mastered tool but doesn’t negate the fact that they are simply seductive and persuasive and hold power that many are unaware of. They should continue to move carefully and use their “faults” to their benefit. 

“Feeling more human and hooked on her flesh, 

I lay my heart down with the rest at her feet.

Fresh from the fields, all fetor and fertile

It's bloody and raw, but I swear it is sweet. 

In leash-less confusion, I'll wander the concrete,

Wonder if better now having survived.

The jarring of judgment and reason's defeat. 

The sweet heat of her breath in my mouth; I'm alive.”

Link to Website [Services, Blog, & More!]

[fullmoonfox]

Shinso: Self Harm Comfort

Hello this is my first post I ever intended to write but got forgotten in the void that is my drafts. Quite a while back, I asked an acquaintance (possibly new friend???) to do this, but I wanted to do my take on it and possibly do some other characters aswell.

So this will be a BNHA characters helping you after finding out you self harm This may be triggering to some, read at your own risk. (Note: I do not encourage cutting, I write this as a substitute for it/ a comfort piece for those who may need an insensitive to stop)

Shinso had never been one to talk much, instead he preferred observe his surroundings, especially having finally moved to class 1A.

Over the course of his time there he began to warm up to some of his classmates, one of them being you.

After a few weeks though, he began to notice subtle changes in your behavior. You contributed less to conversations, jumped whenever someone touched you, ate less at lunch, spent most of your time in your room... alone, but most suspiciously continued wearing long sleeves in the sweltering heat.

Realizing the what those signs could indicate, he decided he would check on you later when they were at the dorms.

Per usual as of late, you were not in the common room, nor did you show up for dinner. Grabbing a small plate of food, he headed up towards the floor with your room

Assuming the footsteps in the hallway were just one of your other classmates heading to their room to relax, you didn't think to stop from making another cut. The cut was only deep enough to draw a little blood, but being one of many it was enough to aid in the crimson drip from your arm.

It brought you some satisfaction, but that was quickly replaced with panic by a loud knock on the door.

The thoughts of feeling worthless and instantly becoming panicked mental cursing. 

Quickly attempting to shove all the supplies under the bed, and poorly throwing some bandages on.

Seeing as you hadn't answered the knock, he opened the door to see if you were ok. Only to find you sitting on the floor with a look that reminded him of a deer caught in headlights.

"What did you do"

Not willing to admit, you tried to deflect. "Nothing? What do you mean 'what did I do'? Oh is that food?!"

Sadly, he wasn't stupid and was still very suspicious. He hands the food to you just to see two slightly bloody palms as you go to grab it.

His first thought was 'oh my God they got into a fight' until he saw a couple drops run down from under your hoodie sleeve, and fall to the carpet. You traced his gaze to your hands. 'Well fuck this isn't good'

Shinso looked at you in both shock and pity, he knew you were upset but enough to hurt yourself?His short "Why-" was abruptly cut off by you dropping the plate and shoving him quickly out the door, and locking it.

At first he just stands there in a stunned silence, processing what just happened. Before he begins knocking again, with a half formed plan "Y/n, can I come in... please"

No matter how many times you've called yourself stupid, you were smart enough to know he was attempting to use his quirk on you.You quickly scrawled 'No' onto a piece of paper, and slid it under the door.

You heard and exasperated sigh, and then retreating footsteps. To say the least, you thought he had abandoned the attempt to help you, and, in all honesty, that hurt.Sliding down the door sobbing seemed the only answer to this situation, until you heard your door knob rattle.

Then fall off.

'What the fuc-'

The thought was cut off by Shinso pulling the door open and immediately pulling you into his arms. He held you until your sobs gave way to the heavy breathing of sleep. Only then did he pick you up in his arms and carry you to his room where he fully treated your cuts while you laid peacefully on his bed.

When he was done he called Mr. Aizawa, who after hearing about it came sprinting down the hallway. Along with Shoji and Todoroki, who Aizawa had asked to clear your room of sharp objects, them being the quite, reasonable kids of the class who would respect being told to never bring it up. 

Dadzawa made plans for therapy, and allowed Shinso to let you sleep there.

Shinso crawled into the bed and held you as close as he could, never wanting to let you get hurt ever again. Praying that you knew that, at the very least, you were loved by him. ~~~~~~~~~~~ Hello lovelies! Please know that if you are debating self harm for any reason you are so worth loving, even if this may sound cheesy especially from someone you dont know,but  you are all beautiful, and though scars dont make you any less beautiful, nothing so amazing should ever be hurt. And if you want, i will fight whoever made you feel like you need to hurt. I hope your day/night is amazing, thank you for reading!

[emmettsleftnut]

Emmet and Jasper in: Food Shopping for Bella

Jasper: Ok Emmett, we're here, we have a goal, did you ask Bella what she needed?

Emmett: Was I... supposed to?

Jasper: Emmett, that was your one s i n g l e job, asking the human what she needed to eat

---

Emmett: Ok so... like meat, right? I used to eat that shit a ton as a human. They dont sell deer, thats stupid, guess we'll go with chicken.

Jasper: Em, she doesnt need 8 packs of chicken.

Emmett: Bro have you seen chickens, theyre so small, I could put an entire chicken in my mouth. Y'know what, I've seen a chicken near home. When we get home im showing you that I can put an entire chicken in my mouth-

Jasper: Emmett please god stop, I don't doubt you can fit a chicken in your mouth, people are staring.

---

Jasper: Ok, Edward said Bella likes salad. Do you know anything about salad.

Emmett: Do I LOOK like I have ever eaten a salad Jaz.

Jasper: Yeah fair honestly I dont even know why I asked.

---

Emmett: Ok, we have a bunch of leaves, we have... vegetables of some description. What else did Eddie say she liked?

Jasper: Something about mushrooms, like a pasta, he said they had it in a resteraunt in Port Angeles. Lets go to the pasta section then.

Emmett: I am not entirely positive what a pasta is but when I find out, hooooo boy.

---

Jasper: Ok so I'm not seeing any mushroom flavoured pasta, Em what do we do thats like... the only thing I can think of that it could be.

Emmett: *looking at a box with a triumphant look* Well, queue the hoooo boy because Jaz, I have found what we have been searching for.

Jasper: Wait, you did? What is it?

Emmett: *holding up box for Jasper to see* It says right here "mushroom shaped pasta" thats like, the same thing right?

Jasper: You are an absolute genuis.

---

Emmett: OK, chicken?

Jasper: Check.

Emmett: Mushroom shapes?

Jasper: Check.

Emmett: Leaves?

Jasper: Check.

Emmett: Thats all I can think of, humans just need water and sun then they'll get big and strong, right?

Jasper: Em, thats a plant, youre thinking of photosynthesis. Humans need food and sleep and warmth and happiness and stuff.

Emmett: Ok, I vote that I just improvise a bit and see what happens. Whats the biggest potential issue?

Jasper: Fair honestly, go wild I'll meet you at the register.

---

---

BONUS:

Emmett: Cullens, we have been hunting and we have RETURNED

Jasper: We did great, obviously

Alice, to Edward: Spoiler Alert; they didn't do great

Emmett: Hush Alice, let me show our bounty. Mortal, come to us.

Bella: *wearily walking over* uh.. sure

Alice, mouthing to Bella: Be nice, they did their best.

Jasper: Firstly, we have, drumroll please... chicken.

Bella: Mmm

Jasper: And chicken

Bella: Oh

Jasper: And chicken

Bella: ..

Jasper: And chicken, and some more chicken, and finally, a bit more chicken.

Bella: Ok, awesome, thanks.

Emmett: Please Bella, save your praise for when we're finished.

Bella: Y'know what, sure Emmett, please show me what else you have there, I would personally love to see it.

Emmet: Of course you would. Next up we have... salad!

Bella: Em, that just lea-

Emmett: Bella please, I know youre insanely greatful but as I said, save the praise for once we're finished. I will only accept drumrolling at appropriate intervals. Jasper, next item please.

Jasper: We have mushroom pasta

Edward: Oh, thats actually a good one. Wait, Jasper, what is this?

Jasper: Its mushroom pasta..? Duh

Edward: Did you hear me talking about the thing from Port Angeles?

Jasper: Mhm, we thought we'd suprise her with her favourite.

Edward: Jasper, it's called mushroom ravioli, and she's only ever eaten it once, and I'm like 90% sure it was sub-par at best. Also, this is just mushroom SHAPED, it doesnt have any mushroom in it what-so-ever. I don't even thi-

Alice, smacking edward over the head: Jasper its great, lets just move on to the next thing.

Emmett: Ok, speedround, you ready?

Bella: Absolutely not

Emmett: Cool, 1. Frozen corn 2. thin potatoes in a very large bag 3. An entire bag of B+ blood, no you may not ask where I found it 4. Tiny edible pillow things. 5. Finally... Tampons, idk it felt like a good idea.

Bella: Honestly thank you

Emmett: Also I need to show you something with a chicken I found, wanna see

Bella: Absolutely

[beabaseball]

how many cats do you have what are their names what do they look like how many are little bastards???? cats are Too Good

Oh my god anon I hope you're ready for a long fucking post because right now we have 11-12 cats

Everyone but Luci, Fievel, and Junebug (who is our barn cat and who I dont have any pics of atm) are in some way bastard. So 9/12 score.

This is Rosie. She is one of the older cats now and was born in our barn. She's very smart but also unfortunately the current Queen. Reson for bastardry: picks fights to maintain pecking order, thinks that to win playtime you have to attack the hand holding the toy/does not believe in plato's allegory of the cave.

This is Aphid. Shes rosie's sister and recently went deaf, which was very frightening for her for a while but now she's not scared of the vacuum anymore so maybe this was a win. Reason for bastardry: Recently she didn't react at all to me mistaking her nipple for a tick, pulling her nipple, leading me to believe it was a deeply imbeded deer tick, and I became that customer from the "ma'am doesnt your husband have nipples??" vid.

Fievel, named after the mouse that got separated from its family, because we found Fievel a full day after all their siblings. She is very shy and also attracted to ears and will try to eat your hair once she's comfortable with you. Nonbinary cat?? Reason for bastardry: not a bastard.

The twins!!! We've joked about twin cats but these two are actually fucking weird okay. We tried to adopt them out with the other kittens I picked up at the cave but these two were a bonded pair and we couldn't find anyone to take them together.

Upper cat: Luci. Short for Lucifer, because he never figured out how to retract his claws. Ironically, is the only good cat in this house.

Lower cat: Smokey. He is a little bit fluffier than Luci and knows how to pull his claws in. He is also a huge bastard and 0 repentence. Reason for bastardry: pees in containers. Not on the floor!! Just containers. Like the dog bowls. Wants to put his paw on my face.

Susie (with luci in the background). This is Mom's Cat, because previously Susie thought everything in the world but mom was out to murder her, including me, who has known her literally her whole life. It took literal years for her to accept she liked petted. I say this with love: something mentally didnt happen in this cat, and only This Year after not murdering her when she needed to go to the emergency vet did we have a breakthrough. Reason for bastardry: pees on things she wants removed. Unfortunately, it works, reinforcing this behavior.

This is BC. it stands for "black cat", because when we got him we were running out of names. He has so many issues but has recently stopped thinking we are trying to steal his blanket when we try to shift blankets under him. Reason for bastardry: picks fights with literally everyone, for no clear reason. Stinky.

Trying to keep under the tumblr image limit, these four helpfully are cuddling. Right to left

Jane (has orange on her forehead): Fievel and Susie's extroverted sister. She is very cute and appears to know it. Reason for bastardry: a serial killer who admires the Stephen's Island Wren cat.

Max (orange cat): You know that post about how all cats are autistic? this one may in fact be the cat version of autistic. Has so many sensory issues, but has recently agreed to cuddling with humans. Obsessed with bringing socks downstairs. Once they're downstairs he doesnt care anymore. Reason for bastardry: normally is a good boy but suddenly will pee in corners and chase other cats. Sock theif!!!!

Oscar (gray tabby): named after the hot dog. The oldest cat currently. Wishes he was a mom very much but also hates new cats so it's a weird ride bringing kittens home. Probably has a neurological thing but we dont know what it is specifically, only that he Cannot Learn and the other cats tolerate the same behavior from him more than they do from others. Snuggle monster. Reason for bastardry: Steals my food!!!! Destroyed all chances for trainability in this house, because if the other cats see oscar is doing something, they can do it too, right?

Wobble (gray cat) : was picked up with our barn cat June, who was desperately trying to escape Wobble's company. Has probably mild cerebellar hypoplasia. She wobbles when she walks. No sense of personal space. Is the only one who can apparently communicate with Oscar, because they are both on the same wavelength. Nothing is going in behind those eyes but threatening elevator music.

Reason for bastardry: innumerable.

[dreamsmp-au-ideas]

Eyo its glass au guy, the au where glass physics just doesnt apply to our birdbois, here to add to this literal fucking crack au because dear fuck i might run on angst alone but mAN WE ALL NEED A BREAK SOMETIMES

Anyways, have you ever noticed that technoblades windows are just trapdoors with holes? wELL--

I like to imagine that literally the only reason Technoblade found out about Philza's... condition, was wAAAAAAAAY back then, back when they were just two dudes that dont die and were just chillin. Techno was just probably out and about, hunting deer, drinking blood, staying at villages and deciding whether or not to slaughter everyone when he leaves, you know regular Technoblade stuff.

When he discovers the invention of glass. (Yes im making both of them that old and no you cannot stop me)

Techno's pretty fascinated by the art of glass making and ends up staying at the village a little longer than Philza and him expected and even ended up not slaughtering them.

He actually stayed so long in the village in fact, that Philza's wanderlust got the better of him and he kinda just-- left techno. Not without saying goodbye tho.

So now, philza's exploring the world while techno is mastering the art of glass making. The reason techno was so interested in the first place was because he saw the combat potential and the living improvement it could bring. And if the history books say something abt a pink haired pig hybrid helping a potion maker invent the splash potion well, technos not gonna say anything.

And as the years went by, techno proceeded to make hundreds, if not, thousands of glass creations from sculptures to weapons to containers and anything he could think of really. But those years of glass blowing and fire fanning really did a number on him. So much so that while taking a break in the middle of his creations, he drank a health pot to fix the itch in his lungs.

He coughs a little, waving away the smoke of the fire. Man, the wood he got today was smokier than usual huh? It never got so thick he couldn't see across the room but itll be fine, he knows where everything is anyways.

He finishes his latest project and airs out the room, to try and get rid of the smoke blocking his vision. But why is everything still so blurry? So he goes outside to get some fresh air.

And now he's fuckin worried because he pretty fuckin sure he didnt set the village on fire enough to cause such a crazy amount of smoke to block his vision. Because oh god, he cant see shit anymore.

So he panics. He pours a pot each to both his eyes and it got a little better because now he can see things a few meters away from him kind of okay but his eyes are still fucked up. Chat is still screaming and Techno, caught up in the panic and emotions of trying to deal with all this bullshit, tries to calm himself down by breaking his defective products. Now at least chat is a little satiated.

Philza, having visited his longtime and only friend, hears the sound of something shattering. It sounded like a clay pot but higher pitched for some reason. So he rushes to Techno, holding seemingly nothing but his hands covered in deep cuts.

Techno meanwhile, has finally calmed down and started to clean up and pick up all the shattered remains of his glass objects. And as he picks them up, he squints at them a little, trying in vain to see if his eyes are salvageable. But with each shard, that hope slowly dims and finally he accepts his handicap. Until the last few shards. Because one of them broke into a really large piece and for some reason, he... can kind of see through it??? Huh, maybe his defect pile wasnt as defective as he thought.

Philza comes back to him with a towel and a health pot (he puts them in clay containers shoosh he dont know glass exists okay) and asks whats wrong. Techno raises his head to reply when he realizes "oh sHIT PHILZA YOURE SITTING ON GLASS WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU OKAY"

And philza, the old bird man he is just kinda goes "huh??? Wat???? Glass???????" And Techno just kinda blindly pockets the glass he was looking at and pulls out a glass health pot of his own to tend to Philza's "wounds".

Philza kinda just stares because holy SHIT IS TECHNO A FUCKING POTION BENDER WHAT THE FUCK. Philza kinda just dazedly grabs the floating health mixture and his hands just pass through the liquid and his fingers are coated in potion.

And techno also staring because holy SHIT IS PHILZA A FUCKING GLASS BENDER CMON I SPENT LIKE-- 2 CENTURIES MASTERING THIS STUPID THING AND APPARENTLY PHILZA CAN JUST DO WHATEVER WITH IT WHAT THE FUCK.

And now they're just vibin on the floor with their heads blown. Oh yeah, techno invents eye glasses. The first two he makes are for himself and phil because "phil, do you not see the glass? You are literally just sitting on a pile of shards."

The glasses fitting was also kind of a train wreck since techno made rimless glasses and the glass just-- went straight through philzas eyes and shattered on the floor. When philza brings it up, techno vehemently denies screaming like an 8 year old and being torn in two because he didnt know whether or not he should worry over phil first or the thing he made for him.

Damn dis long. Lol oops

Pfft. Oh my god. This is hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. Just the both of them being confused with each other and oh my god.