#oh g-d okay I hope I did this right

[gimmebackmyskeeball]

Just friends? Fuck no.

author’s note: I love enemy!jj and I’m a hoe for an enemies you lover arc but I just want me a flirty best friend jj so bad so I had to write his headcanons (?). I don’t even know what this is actually. There’s hc and small little blurbs all together so it’s definitely a little longer than a blurb but not a one shot either. I’m confused but I hope ur not. Enjoy!

summary: just some hc(?) about best friend!jj !!

pairing: best friend!jj maybank x pogue!reader

First of all, you can’t convince me that this man isn’t clingy with his best friend. And honestly not just with you and Kie but with Jb and Pope too. So picture this, divorced parents, your dad lives in another country with his new wife and your mom lives with your sister whilst you stay in the château. Your best friend John B offered you a room after his father made it clear that he wasn’t going to be back soon if never. So now you��re practically living in the château, stopping by your own house to check on your mom and your sister every couple of days. That also means you’re practically living in the same house with the one and only Jj Maybank.

At that point you were familiar with the lines such as; “How can you wake up that early? What’s the deal with that?” or “Y/N open the door! I don’t care that you’re changing, I left my lighter in there!”. He would wake up in the spare room with his messy hair and in his John B’s shorts. No shirt, obviously. He has to show off those muscles. “Yeah, you know, this is what happens when you’re god’s favorite.” He act’s like this is totally from his genes and just basically from carrying stuff to help his dad and shit but his dirty little secret is that he works out for it. Not a lot but enough to keep him in shape.

He’d walk around the château looking for some kind of food, any kind. He’d see Jb standing in the hallway, fresh out of shower, hair wet, of course he wouldn’t miss the chance to make some kinda flirty comment. “Hey, Jb. Morning shower? Too bad, wish you had invited me.” John would scoff, rolling his eyes, “Stop saying shit like that, Jj.” But Jj being the Jj he is, of course he wouldn’t stop. “Cmon gimme a hug, babe.” “Get away from me.”

“Don’t be shy.” He’d playfully caress his shoulder, with a smile on his face. “I’m literally throwing up in my mouth.” John took a step back, replicating gagging noises. “Cmon, John B. Don’t hide the infamous John D from me.” The brunette boy would pick up a pillow from the couch, shoving it right in the middle of his face before speaking, “Dude, you creep me the fuck out.” In that moment you’d walk in door from the porch, you’d woke up early to enjoy to morning breeze because you knew you’d be burning and melting and suffering thanks to Jb who kept putting off getting his AC fixed. “There she is! Hey, peach.” he’d say smiling, walking over to you before grabbing your face and giving your cheek multiple wet sloppy kisses.

“Gross.” you’d mumble. You’re tripping if you think this boy wouldn’t call you some kinda cheesy lame nickname like ‘peach’ or ‘sugar’ or ‘cupcake’ that’s suddenly music to your ears when he says it with that crooked southern accent of his. “Okay, rude. You lookin’ mad cute today. Don’t wanna kiss?” you pushed his face away, not able to stop the smile growing on your face.

Since when did you pushed him? You made the blonde mad. He’d wrap his arms around your neck, placing his head on top of yours. He’d pull you towards him until your back was completely leaning against his chest. He was heavy, you had to give him that. He was hot too. Not that way. I mean, yes, that way, he was hot, everyone knew that, including him. But he was the type of guys whose body heat was always high. The heat from how he wraps his arms around you, hot. He’s hot. In every way, shape or form. “Jay, get off! You’re hot!” He’d raise an eyebrow, pretending to be impressed by your sudden compliment that he knew was not a compliment, “Oh, I’m aware. But too bad I’m not gonna get off of ya.”

Definitely the kind of guy that would get offended if you told someone he wasn’t your boyfriend, “No partners over! This is my house and y’all are using it as a motel six!” John yelled to Kiara who had just been walked in by the owner of that very house. “That’s not fair! Y/N and Jj stay here all the time!” Kiara bit back. You crossed your arms over your chest, furrowing your brows, “What does that even mean?” Kiara sighed, “It means that boyfriend and girlfriends do stay here together and that I’m allowed to too!” you gave her a disgusted look, okay, to be completely honest, it was kinda cute she said that but you couldn’t act like you find it cute. Obviously. “We are not!” you whined. Jj shot you a look, “I mean, you don’t have to say it like that…” he frowned. The man actually frowned.

“Huh?” you were genuinely confused, was he upset? “You didn’t had to sound so aggressive about it…”

Sometimes he’d come up to you in the middle of the night, tv noises coming from the living room, meaning Jb wasn’t asleep either. “Peach?” you saw his figure on your doorstep,“Yeah, Jay?” you sat up on your bed. “I can’t sleep.” he walked over to you, sitting on your bed. “Why?”

He pouted, “Hot.” Oh how the tables have turned, “Thank you.” you spoke as he’d grin, scooting over more to your side. “I always appreciate a self aware girl.” “Okay, back off playboy.”

You scooted back, closer to the head of your bed now. “I’m just being honest.” he kept moving to get closer to you as much as he can. “Well, keep your honest ass over there.” you gently pushed his knee, trying with everything you have in you to keep your distance.

Sometimes you’d wonder if you were really only best friends. You knew how you felt about him but this is how he was with everybody, so he was ridiculously confusing. All the long weed sessions in the Twinkie, the way he’d beg to be the one rubbing your sunscreen, how he’d get visibly happy every time you’d pick him to sit next to on the couch. He is cheesy. And he isn’t embarrassed of it. If anything he knows he’s cheesy and I feel like he’s proud of it.

He’d yawn and gently stretch his arms, one of them slowly going over your shoulders and he’d end up caressing your arm. You know what he’s doing, he knows you know what he’s doing. Is he ever going to stop? No one knows. The way he’d rest his hands (definitely and totally not gripping them like you’re gonna jump off the bike and run away) on your thighs on red lights whenever you’re on his bike for him to drop you off for you to see your mom.

How he’d wrap his arms around your waist, resting his head on your shoulder despite your whines about how you want him off of you. It’s just him, it’s just Jj Maybank and you don’t know if he’ll change or not. Not that you want him to, anyway.

[daengtokki]

part four // serial killer!Kim Seungmin/afab reader

WC: 10.6k

RATING: mature/explicit/mdni—contains: angst, sex, self harm mention, abuse mention, medication usage, hallucinations

SYNOPSIS: Seungmin floats through life alone, haunted by his memories—keeping himself under control, and quieting his mind the only way he knows how…killing and watching the life leave his victims eyes. When you cross his path on a morning hunt, something new (something forgotten) starts to move inside of him, leading both of you on a path to confront the unspeakable past.

˗ˋ��♡ Please support and reblog if you enjoy! Reblogs help your favorite writers on Tumblr! ˎˊ˗

[ ML — DEITY MASTERLIST ]

seungmin-ah! mo! haha…come here, you know you’re in trouble!

whyyy? I didn’t do anything umma

are you sure? let’s go look at what you didn’t do…let’s go look at that empty plate, sweetheart

I didn’t eat those cakes

oh? did daengmo eat them? I know he has a sweet tooth, just like you…

His eyes open slowly. Everything is a blur as Seungmin tries to look around him, but it’s so dark. He blinks, and a tear runs to the corner of his eye. The first thing he latches onto, the closest thing, is your arm. His fingers close gently around your wrist as he finds himself.

Min?

He lets go and pulls at the collar of his shirt in an attempt to wipe his face dry.

“Seungmin…it’s okay.” You grab his hand and wait for him to look at you. Eyes still wet with tears, he lays back down and stares at the ceiling. “Just a nightmare, you’re okay now.”

“Not a nightmare.” Seungmin breathes deep, and his eyes dart back and forth in the dark as he remembers. “Just a memory, I think.”

The bedroom is cold. Outside, it’s abnormally cold. You feel a shiver move through him as you run your hand up and down his forearm—there’s another blanket in the chest, but first, you have to brave the icy floor to get it. “Be right back.” You slide out from under the covers and wince when your feet hit the hardwood and tiptoe the rest of the way there.

“What are you doing out there?”

You swing the creaky lid open and dig around for the heaviest one you can find. “I want that flannel blanket…oh, this one.” The lid comes down faster and heavier than you intend, and the sound feels unimaginably loud cutting through the middle-of-the-night silence. “Sorry…” The music box lets a note free, and then another. You look up at it, and the lid is propped open. Seungmin must have been in there, you think. There are a few dried flowers scattered inside and around it when you gently close it.

“It’s okay,” Seungmin says, and you can see his smile as your eyes adjust to the darkness. When you jump back in, he holds the covers open to show you exactly where he wants you. His body is warm, but the goosebumps are still all over his arms.

“January is awful”

“You told me you liked winter”

“I like this,” you squeeze him and push your face into his chest. “Tell me about your dream.”

The soft sounds of a guitar wake you. G chord, C, G, D—whatever it is, it’s simple…and it’s nice. You wait and listen for a few minutes as the music builds, hoping you might finally hear him sing. Seungmin keeps you on edge, though. He stops, so you roll over and look at him.

“Finally,” he sets the guitar back on its stand.

“Finally what?”

“You looked so comfortable over there, I was getting jealous”

“Oh, you couldn’t get back to sleep?”

Seungmin stands and stretches. His sweatpants hang low on his hips, and his sweatshirt is pulled up just enough for you to catch his belly button, until he tugs at the hem, “I did for a little while.”

You pull the covers down, “so get back in.”

“It’s noon”

“Then sing something for me, don’t you think I’ve suffered enough?”

A month living under his roof, and making him laugh is still a treat. It’s not quite as rare as it used to be, but Seungmin still has his days, his nights, and his moments of uneasiness and agitation in your shared space.

~

“How long have you lived in this big apartment all by yourself?” You asked him a few weeks ago. There never seems to be a good time for most of these little questions, so you force them in whenever you can, and whenever you remember. Whenever you think he might answer them.

“Almost five years, I was nineteen when I moved in”

“That answers another burning question.” Do you tell him now that you’re older than him, or wait until he asks? You doubt he’ll care. “All alone, no other roommates?”

He gives you a look and raises an eyebrow. “Is that what you are? My roommate?”

“I’m not not your roommate”

“Do I make you feel like my roommate?”

It’s a sweet, introspective question for him. Seungmin doesn’t talk very much, but when you get him going, he’s good at keeping up. Sometimes, you do feel like his roommate, because some nights he falls asleep on the couch, and sometimes you do the same, depending on where his head has been that day. There have been days when Seungmin hasn’t spoken a single word to you.

~

“Is that a no?” His face says a lot, but it doesn’t answer your question, “no song for me?”

The bottom of his sweatshirt is suddenly very interesting. He pulls it more and squeezes the fabric in his fist as he tries to avoid your gaze. “Uhm…I’ve never sung for anyone before. I wouldn’t know what to sing anyway. I don’t know what you’d want to hear.”

The shyness might be an act, but it’s cute, and you like it. “You can sing me the alphabet, I don’t care. A nursery rhyme. Your favorite song.” Seungmin’s face turns so red, that you almost change the subject completely. Pushing him has gotten easier, but you’re still careful. You resist the urge to ask if his mother sang him anything as a child, considering last night's dream, and the tears he tried to hide.

“I’ll think about it, my favorite…and maybe I will tonight”

“Really?”

He nods, and his phone starts to vibrate somewhere on the bed. You can feel it, and just as you shove your hand beneath his pillow, Seungmin’s slips under, too, and he gets there first.

Annyeonghaseyo, he says quietly and walks toward the balcony window.

You’ve continued your language classes because you have no job and nothing else to fill your time. Any reason to get out of the house and give him his space is welcome, even if it is only three days a week. You’re no good yet, but the point is, you notice he answered formally, and very unlike how he typically sounds, and you’re curious. He very rarely speaks to anyone on the phone.

When he hangs up, he keeps his gaze down toward his phone and types something, and then he sighs one of his sighs—a little exaggerated, and very him. You love his sighs because it’s one of the few signals he gives you when something is bothering him.

“Did you eat breakfast, are you hungry?” Seungmin never asks anything of you; he likes to cook, and he seems to be naturally tidy. He never makes messes…well, usually. “I can make us something…American.” You head toward his keyboard and run a finger over it. It’s off, so you press one of the keys.

“American? Steak and eggs and potatoes?” He’s still distracted by something on his phone, but he must be hungry. He knows what he wants.

“Yeah, I just need to go get some steak”

“Can you? I have to…uh,” he scratches his head. “I have something I need to do.” He sees your face change. “Not that, something else.”

“Yeah, of course.” Something to do with his phone call, and whatever he’s been doing on the phone, you assume. You'll find out later, hopefully.

The bus is crowded, but he braves it. Sometimes he likes to be a little more anonymous, and this is the best way to do that. The office building is only a dozen or so blocks away from his building, but it’s too cold for a long walk.

“Do you have an appointment?” The woman behind the desk doesn’t pay much attention to Seungmin until his soft yes, I do hits her ears. The look she gives him turns bashful and flirtatious, but it doesn’t do much for him. “Your name?”

“Kim Seung Min”

“Date of birth?”

“September twenty-second…two-thousand”

“Oh here you are, it was just added…Dr…oh, Dr. Mun”

There’s only one doctor in this building who specializes in what Seungmin needs, and the receptionist has no tact when she realizes it. She avoids his gaze as she finishes typing and granting him access. “Ninth—“

“I know where it is”

/ / /

“Seungmin, how have you been?” Her heels click as she walks across the dark wood floor, and it’s a little hypnotizing. “Can I still call you Seungmin, or should we go back to formal? It’s been quite a while.”

The click click stops when she sits, but returns with the slightly more annoying sound of the pen. It’s weird being back in this room, but it feels familiar still—the smell, the lights, the colors. “Seungmin is fine. I don’t like being spoken to formally.”

“Yes, I do remember that now. Please, tell me how things have been. I know I’m not your usual therapist, but you haven’t gone to a session with him in over a year, so…”

“It wasn’t helping”

“I know you feel-“

“It wasn’t. Every session made me feel worse, and he had no sympathy for anything I managed to dig up.”

“Okay. Have you been back home lately?”

His heart races, and it’s too warm in here. Seungmin slides out of his jacket and pulls at the sleeves of his sweatshirt. “Last month.”

“How was it, did you…want to talk about any of that? Was she there for you still?”

He manages a nod. She’s always there. She’s everywhere, but there…that’s where she truly is.

“Not to switch subjects so quickly, but…” she says as her eyes travel over him, “what happened here?” Dr. Mun taps her pen to her neck, “I only ask because it looks very painful.”

The bruise you gave him two nights ago; the one he begged you for, even as you squeezed to the point of him nearly passing out. It’s probably at its worst right now. You’re stronger than you look. He sets his hand over it, pushes a little, and savors the pain still there.

“And because I know you’ve hurt yourself in the past. Is that was this is?”

It might be easier to lie and tell her he did it to himself, because talking about you wasn’t supposed to be part of this today. He’s only here because she threatened to hold the medication he actually uses. Seungmin shakes his head, though.

“Someone else did it?”

He nods.

“Because you asked them to, I assume? Do you trust this person?”

Does he trust you? He must. You share a bed, and you’re feet away from his knife. He took you home with him and let you listen in as he spoke to someone you couldn’t see, and you haven’t questioned him about it. Seungmin begs you to bite and cut and choke him, which you do, and all of your time in between is spent waiting and longing for something more. He knows that.

“Yes, I do”

“As long as I’ve been your doctor, three years, you’ve been by yourself…single. Is that no longer the case?” She tries to read his facial cues and his fidgeting hands. “Maybe it’s nothing serious, hm? Just casual? That’s also good, because you’re letting someone in, even in some small way. You trust someone besides yourself. That’s great, considering you haven’t been keeping up with your medication.”

“So I don’t need it”

“One good step doesn’t make everything better. I’m glad you came and saw me at such short notice, and I know you want the lorazepam to help you sleep, but I would also like your word that you’ll try the Haldol. I’ll write your new prescription, but please…just give it some time.

Hopefully, the smell of a very late breakfast brightens him up, because Seungmin didn’t seem happy when he left earlier. One thing he seems to respond to when nothing else works is food.

He walks in wordlessly, takes off his jacket, and tosses it on the couch. There’s no change in his facial expression. It’s as if he left, and then walked right back in. But he doesn’t look more upset, thankfully; just blank. He’s feeling nothing, or trying his best to look like he’s feeling nothing.

“Hey…Min.” You look at the paper bag clutched in his hand, and it’s easy to figure out what could be inside. You came back a little bit ago with the same one. “Foods all ready.”

The smile isn’t forced, “okay,” but it’s not easy, either. “I’ll be right back out.”

Seungmin doesn’t close the door, so you try to peek in from where you stand. All you can see is the bed, but you do hear the rustle of his bag, and the subtle sound of full pill bottles as he sets them on his table. So if you have any deduction skills at all—the phone call was from his doctor, or his therapist, or something along those lines. The hour and a half he was gone was spent with one of them, and then he stopped at the pharmacy a block down the street for his prescriptions. Easy enough. You hope he’ll feel comfortable enough to tell you all of this on his own.

Before he comes out, you hear the pop of a lid, and the shake of one of the bottles against his hand. When he comes back out, he takes the coffee you hold out for him and swallows one, or both, of his pills.

“It smells good,” he says, and he stays there. Seungmin stares at you.

“Good. Are you alright?” You try not to stare back, but each time you look up, he’s still looking. “Did you do what you had to do?”

“I did”

“Did I do that?” The bruise on the side of his neck pops out at you. It’s big and dark against the white of his shirt collar. Seungmin doesn’t move when you reach out and touch it. “Does it still hurt?”

“Yes, and yes.” He sets his hand over yours and rubs it against the spot. “It feels good.”

“Seungmin?”

He stops but keeps his hand on yours. The doctor’s words are ringing through his head as he watches your eyes dart back and forth between his. How much does he actually trust you? How far has he let you in, and how much has he given of himself? Too much? Enough to keep you here? “Yeah?” You don’t ask him a lot of personal questions.

What if you did ask him about his appointment? Would it be that bad? If he took his medication like you assume he just did a moment ago, broaching the subject should be even easier. That’s not the only subject you need to broach with him, though.

“Did you have a doctor’s appointment?

His eyes answer you before you hear the soft mhm.

“How did it go?” At any moment you expect him to let go of your hand and retreat, but he doesn’t.

“It was okay. Uhm…that medicine makes me very tired, so if I fall asleep, I’m sorry.”

“Oh, you can sleep all day if you need to. But eat something first.”

/ / /

The space between wakefulness and sleep is much too big. Seungmin is stuck in it—he knows that...he feels it. Like twilight in the backyard after a hot summer day. You turned the heat up a little, but you also laid the blanket over him and pulled it up past his bruised neck.

It feels good; the soft warmth of the couch, and the silky pillow under his head. And he can see you from here, moving back and forth in his vision, disappearing and reappearing as you…well, he’s not sure what you’re doing. He likes watching you, though.

“Hey, you’ve been out for a while”

Your voice floats to him, and it takes an extra moment before he grasps what you say. Seungmin nods.

“There’s some water here if you need it”

He opens his eyes fully and looks at your smiling face. Why are you so happy? No, not happy. Smiling, yes, but your eyes give you away. “Thank you.” Seungmin feels your lips on his temple, then on his cheek. Why? There’s nothing here worth loving. He’s just an empty shell. “Thank you.”

“You’ll feel better soon. Close your eyes and sleep a little more.”

Thankfully, he does.

It’s completely dark when he wakes again, and so quiet that it puts him into a sudden panic. He’s still asleep, and he’s back in his nightmare. His heart races, and he can practically smell the dirt…until he realizes he’s not alone. Seungmin moves his leg, and his foot slides over your thigh. You’re here…asleep, curled up in the small space he left at the end of the couch. He moves his foot over you again, hoping to wake you, and it works.

You close your hand around his ankle, “hey sleepyhead…”

“What time is it?”

“Good question,” you tap your phone screen and squint at it. “Just after midnight.”

“Fuck, I slept all day?”

He did, and while he slept, you checked to see if he was still on the same medication, the same dosage. Haldol and Xanax. Seungmin took one of each earlier, and his body never stood a chance against it. You also took care of your own problems while he was out, and finally getting it out of the way calmed you a little.

“You just have to adjust, that’s all…yeah?”

Seungmin still feels like he’s floating. He sits up more, and looks at you. It's too dark, and he can't see you very well, so he moves closer. “It won’t fix me.”

“No, you’re not broken." You don't know if Seungmin knows you know exactly what he's taking, but he's smart enough to realize you're going to look around any chance you get, because he did it to you with your backpack. Both of you, quiet, tiptoeing around each other to find answers instead of asking.

"No?" He moves closer still, and practically puts himself in your lap.

/ / /

Something sweet…you said, walking to each corner of the kitchen and collecting things. He needs something sweet to eat, that will make him feel better. The smell of cinnamon and apples made it to him as he showered, and that alone did make him feel a little better.

“It hasn’t been back lately, but…” he looks at the perfect baked apple in front of him and cuts it in half.

“What hasn’t?”

“The noise, the itch. It’s been a while.”

“Is that bad?” You noticed, of course, that he hasn’t left the house lately with the urge to find someone. He hasn’t come home with anyone. The idea that you somehow changed something in him hasn’t crossed your mind, because it’s silly—what you have done, maybe, is filled up those spaces in his mind that were once left to their own devices. Seungmin has already told you he’s been here, alone, for years, and that the company he’s kept has never lasted beyond the hour they arrived. "Or is that good?"

“I’m worried it’ll come back, and be worse”

“Has that happened before? Has it gone away, and built up to something bigger?”

Seungmin takes a big bite of his apple, and the taste hitting his tongue makes him smile. Yes, it has happened, but he was a teenager then, and he lacked self-control. It’s not something he wants to think about, or talk about right now. But he nods. “This is very good, thank you.”

“We’ll deal with it when the time comes, if it does”

Will you? It seemed sincere, the way you said it, and the way you looked at him.

we’ll deal with it

we

we?

Too much sleep is weighing on him now. Seungmin felt so tired as he ate the dessert you made for dinner, and while he struggled to brush his teeth. Now the sleep eludes him—but he’s comfortable, at least. You bought new flannel sheets, and new pillows, so the bed hasn’t felt this soft and warm in a long time. And you, you’re sound asleep a few inches away, content. Seungmin likes to stare, discreetly if he can manage, and so often he’s spent far too long watching you. He doesn’t do it while you sleep. This morning, he got right up and went about his day, not concerning himself with how late you stayed in bed. Not until he got bored. You’re usually up before him, so he missed a perfect opportunity to look at you without worrying about getting caught and making you uncomfortable.

The first time he saw you on the street, he did think you were pretty. He doesn’t typically interact with foreigners, or tourists, despite speaking English fluently, but seeing you changed that. Seungmin still can’t figure out why. Maybe if he bothered to ask a single thing about you, he could figure something out. Where are you from, and why are you still here after weeks of sometimes being paid attention to? Today, despite him sleeping for nearly all of it, was probably good for you.

Seungmin drops his gaze when you shift. Your hand slides up the sheet and stops just short of his. He watches it for a moment…and his pinky twitches. You never have trouble sleeping next to him, even though he nearly killed you. That night still lives at the front of his memory, and it replays over and over sometimes. It’s replaying for him right now, because you looked just like this—like you were sleeping.

He moves a little closer, and his hand slides over yours. You groan, but your eyes remain closed. Seungmin says your name, softly, because he isn’t sure he wants you to hear, but…he wants you awake with him. One more whisper, and he sees your lashes shift as your eyes start to move.

“Seungmin?” Before you even look around, you call for him. “Did you say my name?”

“Maybe”

“Maybe?”

Your sleepy laugh makes his stomach flutter, and he almost turns away. He has to force himself to stay put.

“What’s wrong? Is everything okay?”

The warmth of your hand on his cheek sets his stomach in motion again, and he doesn’t like the feeling. It’s too much. Seungmin closes his eyes when you don’t take yours off of him. Touching comes easy for you, but you don’t do it often—Seungmin wonders if that's his fault...if his distance keeps you away. You mean it when you do touch him, though, like right now. Like when you wake up tangled together, as if your unconscious bodies can’t stay separated.

“Can’t sleep? That makes sense. What time is it?”

“Four o’clock”

“We could go for a walk”

“It’s freezing out”

“We could… go to that all-night cafe and try all the cakes”

“That’s tempting, but…” the flutter in his stomach turns to butterflies as he reaches out for you. “The bed is nice and warm,” he moves closer, close enough to tuck himself against you and fill himself up with your scent. You still smell the same as you did before; that deep, dark floral scent—flowers that only bloom when the sun goes down. Moonflowers, and night phlox. He wants to tell you that. Seungmin wants to tell you he gave you the wrong flowers, and that he needs to find you the right ones.

“We can stay up. I’ll stay awake with you.”

“You will?”

“I’ll try my best”

Seungmin looks up at you, and his eyes make you feel like you’re melting. He pulls back just enough to still share your pillow. “Do you really not want to go back home?” He knows it’s a heavy question, but how else can he start?

“Do you want me to?”

He watches as the color drains from your face. “No…did I word that wrong? No, I don’t want that.”

“Then no, I don’t want to go back home. I promise you, I don't.”

“Where is home? Was…where was home?”

“A town called Point Pleasant”

“Pleasant?” He smiles. “Point Pleasant.”

“Yeah, Uljin reminded me of it, a little. The woods, and the feeling it gave me.”

“Why did you leave? I know you told me before, when we had lunch…is that the only reason?” You close your eyes and think, and Seungmin watches every tiny movement of your face. “Maybe it is, I’m sorry.”

“No, it wasn’t”

“We don’t have to talk about it”

“There was no ex, but I was trying to get away from...uhm, everyone else. I lied to you."

“Why did you lie?” Seungmin whispers, because he can feel something change in the way you speak. You sound on the brink of tears, but you’re also hiding from him. "You can tell me, it's okay."

“I lied about my job, and about needing help getting home. I lied about how long I've been in Seoul. I wanted to seem more interesting, more helpless than I was. You seemed hard to impress, and I didn’t know why someone as good-looking as you was even talking to me. I still don’t.”

“You don’t?”

You shake your head.

“I should be the only one wondering that.” He can’t bring himself to ask why you had to run from everyone, and why running to him turned into your solution. He doesn't care about your lies, though. His whole life is built on lying to himself and to everyone else. “Close your eyes. Sleep."

“No, I’ll stay up”

“Close your eyes, I’ll be right behind you.”

/ / /

he is right behind you. and he’s fast, so much faster. the unbearable sound of mud underfoot as you slip and try desperately to gain some purchase, but you don’t know this ground like he does…and it’s dark but it’s midday, you think. you don’t dare look behind you, though, because he’ll be there when you do. free of the pine trees, at least, and there’s some light trying desperately to get through the clouds. the only thing standing is the shed. barely standing. it’s quiet. he stopped. maybe he turned back. but you have to hide. the shed is the only place.

the inside is somehow worse. everything is visible through the cracks in the wooden slats, so you watch the woods. the mud grabs your boots, and you’re pulled in even more as you try to move. a twig snaps, a cloud of warm breath sneaks past your ear. you can smell it.

seungmin? your voice is shaky. he likes how scared you are.

another breath tickles your ear, so you decide to look. you should at least face him when he jumps, right?

you turn, slowly, and move your eyes up a long white snout until you find them…two black eyes, shiny and sad, ready to swallow you up. a growl from his chest, and then every sharp tooth is out.

no, you promised

“Hey…hey, relax”

The voice comes from the big white dog, or seems to.

“Please, it’s me…open your eyes”

Something wet on your neck, your throat. Breath? No, warm lips. Why hasn’t he ripped you apart, what is he waiting for?

“I know, you’re stuck…it’s okay”

Finally, something shifts and you finally open your eyes. Two big black ones stare back at you, unblinking.

“No! Don’t touch me!”

Seungmin releases his grip on your wrist and backs away. “I’m sorry…I’m sorry. You’re okay now. You were dreaming.”

You pull yourself up against the pillows, bringing the blankets with you as you fold yourself up. The collar of your shirt is soaked through with sweat, and you swear you can smell the fear coming off of you. Seungmin keeps his distance, but his eyes never leave you—they take in every movement as you fidget and pull yourself even tighter together.

“…just a bad dream. Really bad. You were, uh—“

“I was what?” You look around the room, and try to gauge the time by the amount of light coming in. It’s still early in the morning, you think. A few hours ago you were awake and talking with him.

“You said my name, and you were crying. Did I hurt you?”

“No.” But he was going to. “I’m not sure.”

“Maybe you can tell me about it later, when it doesn’t feel so real anymore”

“Yeah”

Seungmin wants to assure you that he won’t hurt you, but he’s not certain how to tell you again. He doesn’t blame you for being afraid, though, even after everything. “You said…no, you promised. Were you saying that to me?”

You don’t answer.

“I’ll go make coffee”

He pulls the door closed and leaves you alone with your thoughts, but you don’t want this quiet, either. Maybe he’ll come back if you call for him. No, he’ll absolutely come back if you call for him.

But you don’t. You look around the sun-filled room like you’re searching for a clue. Everything is the same as it’s been for weeks, and he’s the same, so why is your head suddenly betraying you? You stand on sore, shaky legs and feel yourself floating toward the door. Seungmin’s back is to you at the kitchen counter, white tshirt hanging loosely on his shoulders. The sun is bright in here, too, and you can practically see through him as he moves around like water. He stretches and rolls his neck, lifts his shirt, and you’re hypnotized by the sight of his back, the paleness of his winter skin as he pulls it over his head. Seungmin shakes the hair from his face as he turns, and he catches you there, peeking from the open doorway.

“Hi.” He holds his shirt against his torso as you examine him, as if he has something to hide. His faded orange bangs fall right back in his face. The dark roots have grown out significantly in such a short time, but he hasn’t been out much, and he hasn’t had a reason to change anything.

“I can trim your hair for you, if you’d like”

/ / /

It’s a little awkward at first, setting him down and running your fingers through his damp hair, both of you staring at each other in the bathroom mirror. You insisted on the conditioning treatment, mostly so you could wet him down in the bathtub, run it through his hair, and touch him a little more than you have lately. He smirked the entire time, probably feeling overwhelmed by the intimacy.

“Are you feeling better?” He asks the mirrored version of you. “I know how dreams can mess with your head.”

“A little.” You snip a few times, comb through it, snip again. “I’ll be okay.”

“Have you done this before?”

“I used to cut my own, and my sisters. It’s been a while, though.”

“Why did you do your own hair?”

“Haircuts were expensive”

He nods, not needing any more explanation than that, and he lets you continue cutting. “It was me, in your dream?”

“I think so. I mean, my dream self thought it was you.” Seungmin is confused, you can see that. “I’m sorry, I don’t know how to explain it.”

“That’s okay, I doubt I could explain mine either.” He watches his hair fall on the white tile, piece by piece. “Even though they’re always the same.”

“Mine are never quite the same, except for the…except for the shed. And the mud. The smell.”

Seungmin looks up at you before your next cut. “The what?”

You think as you tousle his hair, and find a few more spots to trim in the back.

“The smell. Do you smell things in your dreams? It’s always wet and gross, like decay. Sometimes it stays stuck in my nose even after I wake up.”

“Shed?”

“Yeah, yeah…I think so. It was this time, for sure. I’m usually already inside when the dream starts, looking out. This time I ran inside to hide.”

“From me?”

“Sort of”

“Sort of? Either it was me or it wasn’t.”

His words come out sharp, and it goes right through you. It reminds you of the big, impatient voice he used on his last victim.

“I’m finished”

You toss the scissors in the sink and leave him there. Seungmin doesn’t speak up again before you gently close the door, and he doesn’t come out right away. Cleaning up, you assume, and then you hear him in the shower. He takes his time.

The television isn’t typically on, but this morning, you need the noise to drown out the leftover scenes playing in your head. It’s still too vivid. You turn on the news, and pretend you can understand what they’re saying. The isolated feeling doesn’t always bother you—sometimes it creeps up, and you remember everything here is foreign except for a few of your classmates, and Seungmin. If you think about it too much…

The story on the news changes, and you focus on it. Korean or not, you can figure out what’s going on; what they’re talking about, and what the footage appears to be showing. It’s a crime scene. A body was found.

Seungmin finally emerges from the bathroom, and when you glance up at him, he looks a little dejected. He combs his fingers through his damp hair, and his bangs hit just above his eyebrows. Maybe you cut it a little too short.

He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out.

“Is that your body?”

“My what?”

“On the news. Is that where you dumped it?”

Seungmin turns and looks at the screen, but you can’t tell by his reaction if it’s a yes or a no. He just stares quietly, listening to every word. Eventually, he looks at you. “It’s fine. This has happened before.”

Your stomach drops. “It has? What if someone saw you?“

“Nobody saw me. You don’t have to worry, I promise.”

But you will worry. "I should dye your hair back to black." What if something happens, and you lose him? After all you’ve been through in the last few weeks…how much closer you’ve managed to get—which isn't very close, you admit. You can’t. “And I will worry. I’m not losing you.”

“Lose me?”

“I can’t”

He plays with his hair again, messes it up, and then takes a few steps toward the couch. It feels short, but it looked nice in the mirror. He’s not really worried about it. He still hasn’t felt any urges to go out and find someone, so he has no reason to look good for anyone, anyway—just you. The subject on the news changes, and you seem to relax. You look up at him and force a smile.

Seungmin sits, leaving some space between you, and he keeps his hands tucked between his thighs. “I didn't mean to snap at you.”

“Why did you? We were only talking about my dream.”

Because I’m an asshole he thinks. An impatient, insensitive pick who doesn’t deserve your kindness. Because I have has one true setting, and it’s self-sabotage. “They’re the same as mine.” He shuts his mind up and says. “Parts of them, at least. We’re dreaming of the same place, I think.”

“The shed?”

“Yes, the shed. The one next to the greenhouse.”

How did you fail to notice that? How did you not put that together? You saw it with your own eyes after seeing it several times in your head. You ran to it this morning, and looked out through the cracks in the wood. The smell. The mud you sunk into. That was the first time you were there—when you were dead on Seungmin’s bed.

“The nightmares you always have, it’s the shed?”

“Sometimes. Depends on which part of the nightmare I’m on. It replays in my mind like a movie; I’ll get some pieces one night, and then another piece the next, or a few nights later.”

“It’s always the same?”

“Little details change. And it’s not always in order, because my memory isn’t perfect, I guess.”

You see his fingers twitch, and you don’t resist the urge to reach for his hand. Seungmin squeezes yours back.

“You’re reliving a memory?”

“Yes, over and over. The worst memory. It always feels new in my head.” Saying it loud feels like a dream in itself. Having someone actually listen, and seem concerned. Having someone share in the dread that place gives him.

Do you just not remember him telling you about the shed before? He’s mentioned his nightmares, but you don’t remember him giving out any details, and when he talks in his sleep, you don’t understand him. Try as you might, you can’t actually read Seungmin’s mind.

“But it never comes together”

Do you change the subject, or assume he wants to talk about it? He looks on the verge of tears—angry ones, and you don’t want him walking through his nightmare while he’s awake. "Can I have a kiss?”

It’s been a while. Seungmin isn’t a goodnight or good morning kisser. He doesn’t sneak up behind you and peck your cheek (though sometimes, he does it when he thinks you're asleep). You have to wait for sex to get his needy, vehement mouth. That, or you have to take them yourself. You’ve only done that twice, and the first time, you had a knife to his throat.

He leans in and stops short, licks his lips…his eyes still shine with what he’s holding back…and gives you one long kiss before pulling back enough to look at you. “Just one?”

You take the second one, and Seungmin touches you. He pulls you closer, leans back against the couch, and gives you space to straddle his thighs. A kiss will almost always turn into this if you let it. Usually you do, because you want it, but not making another move right now is taking all of your energy. Still, you touch his stomach and side until his muscles twitch and tighten.

“What’s wrong?” He whispers.

“Wrong? Nothing…nothing is wrong.”

Seungmin holds you steady as he sits up again, and he places another soft kiss on your lips. “I should go take my pill.”

/ / /

The Haldol hits him again, and just like yesterday, he’s stuck and wandering around his head. You’ll adjust, you told him. He hopes you’re right because he’s never done this more than two days in a row. This isn’t how he wants to feel. But you’re here now, leaning against his shoulder, talking softly about something. What if he just told you how much having you with him right now means to him? It would get stuck in his throat, no doubt, but he could at least try.

He stops thinking for a moment, and listens.

Is there a dog in your dreams? Was there ever?

No he thinks he says… no, there was never a dog

A big white dog

No, no…he wouldn’t let me have a dog

Something runs across the room, but he only catches it in his peripheral vision. Just a shadow, bouncing on four legs…

What was that? he tries to stand, but he only makes it to the edge of the couch. Seungmin looks down at his bare feet against the gray carpet…scrunches his toes, and moves his feet against the soft fibers.

What is it? Do you want me to get you something…sweetheart

Sweetheart? Me? He sees it again. It moves slowly across the room, stops, and looks at him down its long black nose. Where did you come from?

Who? Who are you talking to? Seungmin…

He follows it around the kitchen counter, but there’s nothing there. Nothing beneath the bar. Seungmin opens the counter and looks inside, pulls out the trash can and sends it to floor.

“Seungmin, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” He presses his palm to his forehead and sighs, “I don’t know.” He turns and looks at the mess he made, and kneels to clean it.

“I can clean that up, go sit down”

“I’m fine, I’m—“ You hear him sigh again. “What is this?” He reaches for something you can’t see, and then slowly gets back to his feet.

“What?” Your heart beats wildly as he turns, and you can see what he has in his hand. It was stupid of you to not tell him about it before, and you know that—you tried to wait for a good time, and the time never came. “I was going to talk to you about it…I should have told you.”

“Are you?” He looks at you, then back down to the little pink box in his hands. "Are you pregnant?"

“No, it was negative. I would have told you right away if it came back positive.”

“Negative? Why did you think you were?”

“I felt off." Tired, sick, sad...even when you open your eyes and see him in front of you. "I didn‘t know what else it could have been.”

“Do you still feel…off?”

You do, but you don’t want him to have that on his mind. Realizing you’ve been sharing dreams, one of his bodies being found, and now Seungmin seeing things in the kitchen is already too much for one day. “I’m alright...just tired.”

He’s still staring at the crumpled box in his hands, and you can tell he’s thinking, wondering, forming a question. His face gives him away—another one of his few tells. “When did you take it?”

“Yesterday, while you were asleep”

“Maybe you should take another, just to be sure”

The second test is negative. You knew it would be, because you’re starting to realize the off feeling started when you went home with him, driving through the woods, stepping foot on the ground where the shed and the greenhouse sit. You can’t explain why, and it doesn’t make logical sense, but it’s all you have for now. And the shared dreams. You’re starting to wonder exactly what happens in Seungmin’s dream. His worst memory.

He’s been standing just inside the bathroom door, watching you sit on the edge of the bathtub. You hope he doesn’t think you’re lying to him about the first result, but why else would he hover like this? Seungmin doesn’t seem the type to wait breathlessly for a different outcome. Nothing about him makes you think he wants to be a father.

But you don’t know, and you can’t assume there isn’t something inside of him that wants that. You doubt yourself more than anything. Not just doubt, you know you have no business being a mother.

You walk to the edge of the sink, but he gets there first.

“It’s negative?”

“Yes, this one is negative, too.”

He picks it up and looks at the little window, and the single pink vertical line inside.

“Are you upset? You seem…down.”

Seungmin stares for another few moments, then shakes his head. “Upset? No. We should be more careful.” He drops it into the trash can, and he’s gone before you can speak again.

“Can you please tell me what you’re feeling?” He has no business keeping quiet about something that would affect you both so massively. “Or thinking about, at least.”

“I’m not thinking about anything”

“You don’t have to hide everything from me. I know I’m still new here, but I think I deserve a little bit more of you.”

“You do...you think that?"

The silence is horrible. His stare is empty, you hope it’s just him trying to get out of this conversation, or maybe his medicine still hanging over him.

“Yes”

“You get so much of me, don’t you see that? More than I've given anyone, ever. And more than you’ve given me.”

“I wasn’t sure if you cared about what I had to give.” Your voice shakes, your throat collapses, and your attempt at a deep breath comes out as a pathetic whimper. The tears are already starting, so trying to hide them seems pointless. "But I'll tell you anything you wanna know. I'll give you anything you want."

Still, he stares, but his face changes when he sees the tears falling, and hears the tightness in your chest.

“Please, don’t cry,” he says, and it sounds so exasperated, so over everything.

Your mind reaches desperately for something good: the kiss he gave you; waking you from your nightmare; the questions he did ask last night as he cuddled up next you.

“Please…” Seungmin moves toward you, and this time, he treads a little more cautiously. “Don’t cry, please.” His hands land gently on your shoulders, and he pulls you closer. “I don’t like seeing you cry.”

You push your face into his chest, mostly to hide yourself from him, but his arms close around you.

“I’m used to hiding, and pushing back. It’s a hard habit to break.”

“I’m sorry”

“No, don’t apologize to me." He pulls you even closer. “You do deserve more.” Cereus—that sweet honey smell. That's the scent he's getting now. Tomorrow, he thinks, he'll find the flowers he needs for you.

“I was so scared to take that test, and now I’m confused. You seemed upset that it was negative, were you?”

His grip on you loosens, and he makes you look at him. “I don’t have a good answer to give you.” Or he can’t put it into words properly. Something inside of Seungmin stirred when he saw that box, and then again when you told him it was a false alarm. Whatever moves inside of him when he takes a life, it moved a little bit for this, just in the opposite direction. “Did you want it to be negative? When I saw the box, I figured the result was your reason for staying. Like you were trapped here now.”

“I wanted it to be negative because I don’t think I’d make a very good mother. And because I was afraid you’d be angry."

“Angry? No. Do I still scare you?” He pulls his shirt up and wipes at your cheeks, and he cups your face in his hands. “Don’t ever let me push you around, or treat you like you’re less. If I do, leave—go home, and leave me to rot here by myself, like I deserve.”

“Seungmin”

“I can’t turn into that person. I won’t.”

You look at him questioningly, and he notices. He sees you wanting more. After this conversation, Seungmin knows he can’t always walk away from the memories he keeps digging up. He certainly can’t do it right now, not today.

“Who treated you like that? Who pushed you around?”

A memory jumps to the front of his mind; stopping at the top of the porch steps to fix his coat zipper, yelling to his friend to wait up. Seungmin felt a hand press against his shoulder, and it pushed. He remembers the pain in his wrists from almost catching himself, and tasting blood from his busted lip…but not why he did it. Maybe Seungmin was being too loud, or just standing in his way.

“My stepfather. He was, well…he didn’t like me.”

Seungmin squeezes when you grab for him again, and he keeps you close as he tries to stop the sting of tears.

“He hurt you?”

His chest aches from remembering. More memories pop into his head, and he needs to stop them. A pill, maybe. No, if he does that, either he’ll sleep the rest of the day, or he’ll have to watch the strange black dog slink around the apartment again.

“I’m sorry, we don’t have to talk about it...unless you need to”

“What’s your favorite color?”

“My what?” You wipe your cheeks with the back of your hand.

“Your favorite color. I had a friend when I was a kid, my only friend…he always asked everyone what their favorite color was. It seemed important.”

“Blue…dark blue. Like the color of your old bedspread.”

“That fits you"

“I would guess yours is purple, unless that’s too obvious.”

“No, you’re right. Is that a good start?”

“It is, I’ll take it. Where is your old friend? Still in Uljin?”

“No, he moved away before things got really bad. I’m not sure where he ended up.”

Since Seungmin is giving, maybe you should, too. “I do know what it’s like.” Even though it's hard. “It stays forever. The mean words…the screaming, and the beating, and all the locks on all the doors. It doesn’t go away.”

“No, it doesn’t”

/ / /

Who hurt you? Seungmin wonders as he watches you hunt for all of the white puzzle pieces. His mind is numb from half of a Xanax he took, so he’s not participating. He really is enjoying watching you, though—he’s catching some of your subtle habits, and hoping he still remembers them tomorrow. You squint your eyes when you think, and absently rub your hands along different parts of your body; your forearms, your neck, when you’re still for too long. Seungmin has seen you do it before, during the long car ride, but not this much. And his favorite; your finger slowly tracing the outline of your lips, pulling and picking at them. If you keep it up, you’ll make them bleed, and he might come down there in his daze and start kissing them clean.

”Hmm?”

Your eyes flit up to him. Why, what now?

“You’re sighing so loudly up there. Get down here on the floor with me.”

“I’ll get in your way.” Of course, You’re always wanting, Seungmin thinks. Always itching for closeness.

“I want you in my way”

Itching for touch. Who put that tenderness back after it was beat out of you? He watches your hand as it leaves your mouth and pushes a stray puzzle piece back in its place. Where does your patience come from?

“…get down here and help me find the green pieces”

He laughs at that, and it must be loud enough for you to hear. Your head turns his way, and you scowl at him, but you can’t keep up an act…it turns into a smile as you look away.

Those things make a good mother, right? Seungmin remembers that, sometimes. The patience, and the tenderness. Soft words. Soft hands. Why wouldn’t you?

“Why wouldn’t I what?”

Oh he said that part out loud. “Nothing. I’m coming.” He slides from the couch and onto his knees, drops to all fours, and starts toward you.

“Cute…oh, you’re not gonna help at all”

Seungmin climbs into your lap and goes straight for your neck. He kisses once, stops, and inhales deeply.

“Are you smelling me?”

His mhm comes deep from his chest, full of your sweet scent. He kisses again, coaxing you to your back as your shirt is lifted from you. “Oh, this is nice.”

The air is cold against your bare skin, but you relax when his warm hands graze over your nipples, hard and pushing against the mesh of your bra.

“Is this new?” He puts his mouth around one and bites until you make a sound for him. “A matching set?” He pulls the waistband of your leggings down, “it is,” and brings them down the rest of the way. “Cute.”

“Cute?”

You can hear his soft laugh as he disappears between your thighs. He touches, squeezes, bites when his mouth gets to work. “Are you cold? We can get into bed.”

“Yeah, take me to bed”

/ / /

It’s warm under the sheets, but your teeth chatter anyway. In anticipation of him, maybe. Should you ask him to use a condom? Will he, if you ask? He would. Do you want him to? You can’t imagine yourself as a mother; or pregnant, for that matter. What a strange home to bring a child into.

He heads for his drawer, and reaches for the knob, but stops himself. Seungmin turns and heads for his dresser, where he slides one of the top drawers open. As far as you know, from your innocent snooping a few weeks ago, there’s nothing in there except his jewelry, watches, extra glasses. He put something new in there. He comes back with a condom between his fingers, and a questioning look in his eyes.

You give him the same look right back.

He points to the bedside table, “not ours.” And then to the drawer he just came from, “ours.”

“That’s sweet”

“Is it? I just thought it made sense.”

“Yeah, it’s sweet to me”

The room warms. You swear you can feel the cold get pushed away as he crawls to you…onto you…pulls the covers back up as you disappear beneath him. Seungmin touches and kisses everywhere he can get to—down your body, where he tugs at the matching panties he seemed to like so much, and back up to focus elsewhere. He opens the clasp of your bra and lets you fall out, and his smile as he watches is sickly sweet. You feel a blush move up your neck and face, and your reflexes force your arms around you. There’s no reason to be shy, but he’s making you feel seen again. Too seen. Seungmin looks at you, and into you in a way nobody else has before.

He gently grabs your wrists and pushes them onto the bed, “you’re mine…no hiding.”

“I’m yours”

“All mine…you won’t leave me”

It’s just a mumble against your skin, but you hear every word. He told you to leave if he did something to deserve it, but despite the dream, you're starting to believe he's incapable of scaring you away. He might think he is, but he doesn’t see all of himself. Seungmin isn't the nightmare that looks back at him in the mirror.

You still remember every word he said in the greenhouse; okay, I guess...sometimes it’s tough to tell from the inside. You didn’t hear the question, but you assume it was “how are you?”

He talked about you; I know, I’m not alone this time, isn’t that strange? It feels so strange.

I’m trying really hard, I promise

Trying to what, exactly? To get better? To keep you around? If only you had heard what he heard, and knew both sides of the conversation. But you know who it was now, and it took too long to figure out. Seungmin was catching up with his mother, telling her he is okay, and that he is no longer alone, and that he's trying so hard to...well, you're not sure exactly what—keep everything from falling apart, maybe. The dream that had him in tears, and unable to get back to sleep, was her.

“No, I won't leave you alone”

His teeth sink into your neck as he works his way in. It’s easy, and so smooth, and so satisfying—Seungmin knows his way around your body now. He pushes his cock inside of you, pulls out slowly, slides back in. Warming you up, making you comfortable, and maybe testing out how this feels. Seungmin feels good, he always does…and this, you could do this with him all night, but it’s not quite right. You’re used to nothing between you and him, so what you’re thinking is irresponsible and stupid.

The slow, steady strokes are him; the painful stretch, and the careful movements are all him. But it’s not the same. Your hands slide up his back and you pull him closer, and he bites again, softly—he’s become gentle with you in every way when you fuck…he doesn’t leave you with the same marks he begs for.

“Min,” you whisper, and run your hands across the scratches you left. Healed, but still rough against the rest of his soft skin. He moans quietly, and you hate to say his name again and stop him, but, “hey.”

“What’s wrong?” He slows his thrusts and looks at you, “it hurts?”

“No, it doesn’t hurt”

He kisses sweetly, and you can feel him crack a smile before he pulls away.

“What are you smiling about?”

This time he laughs as he goes for another kiss. “What is it, why’d you stop me?” and another.

“I…uhm—nothing, I'm fine”

“Nothing?” He stops completely and stares. Trying to read your mind, probably. Seungmin moves again, slowly.

“Please…baby.” Why did you say that? Your face heats up, and you know he sees it. That’s the second time you've done that today.

“Jagi?” The grin won’t drop from his face, so you wonder what has him feeling so relaxed, and so at ease. It can’t just be the pill he took. “Sweetheart?”

“Don’t tease me"

"No...I'm not, I like it. You can call me sweet little nicknames."

"Take the condom off”

Seungmin’s eyes grow, “oh, is that the problem?” He kisses more, and you can feel him reach between you and remove it. “Anything for you.”

"Anything?"

"Mhm...tell me what else you want"

"Don't be so gentle this time"

He grips your wrists again, puts all of his weight down, and fucks you slowly, gently. "Are you sure? You want it a little rough?"

"Yes, Min...please"

"Call me Minnie"

"Minnie," You can't help but smirk at that. It's almost too cute for him, "can we switch positions?'

Seungmin mhm's and slides his hands from your wrists, and groans as his cock is released from your tight squeeze again. "How would you like to—" he laughs under his breath as you turn your body, get on your knees, and lay your head on the pillow, "...be fucked?"

His eyes eat you up, and his hands follow. Seungmin wonders why you haven’t switched things up before now, but he knows why he never does—he likes looking at you, and kissing you and he likes watching you on top of him (and pulling you down). Seungmin never realized how much he liked to kiss until he kissed your breathless lips, and again when he had a knife to his throat. That isn’t the type of treatment his victims get unless it seems absolutely necessary. Seungmin only wants to kiss you.

Considering how shy you were before, he’s surprised at what he’s getting now. Ass up, thighs spread. He resists the urge to use his mouth, only because his cock is aching for you again. He moves his head between your lips, gathering up your warm arousal, mixing it with his pre-cum. The thought of filling you up again makes him ache even more, and he pushes in without warning.

But you said you wanted it rough. You gasp and flinch, and your shaky breath actually makes him pause for a moment. No, you said you want it rough, and he’s giving it to you.

“Stop me if you need to.” Seungmin runs a hand up your back and squeezes your shoulder as he starts to move. In and out, deep and slow at first. “Okay?” He thinks he sees you nod, so he lets go, and the sound as your body meets his is so sweet; the grip on his cock, how much deeper he hits. And he knows he’s hurting you, despite your persistence. Face down in the pillow, fist clenching the sheets—your free hand reaches for his, and Seungmin thinks you want to hold it, but instead you wrap his fingers around your neck.

“Are you sure?” He can barely get it out before you push back into him. “Oh fuck…okay.” Seungmin squeezes, gently, and it seems to satisfy you for now, but he doesn’t want to tighten his grip. He can’t do that, because he hasn’t done this to anyone unless he was ending it. The control might not be there. Maybe it will be, for you, but he doesn’t know for sure, and he’s not willing to risk it.

“More”

“No.” It slips out. He was only thinking it, but he says it again. “No, I can’t.”

“Minnie…”

“I might hurt you.” He leans forward and places a kiss on your back, and keeps moving up, “I can’t,” wraps his arms around you and holds you tight against his chest. “I love you, I can’t.” And he hopes you’ll turn your head and look at him…

You do. “What did you say?”

Seungmin kisses you sweetly and fucks you as gently as possible, because he wants this to last a little longer, but he’s so close. The kissing—the confession…he told you he feels too much sometimes, and he knows you remember.

A little bit of regret swirls in his head, only because you don’t say it right back, but he pushes it away when you twist yourself to kiss him even deeper. Seungmin comes, and his satisfied moan fills your ears and mouth and chest. You feel him shaking as he slows himself and pulls out, and then he’s up, and you need him back, but it’s only for a moment as he helps you roll back to face him.

Now what? He’s staring at you, silent, eyes full of all of those feelings he holds onto so tightly. You could answer him—you could say it right back to cut through this quiet, but you want him to say it again. Instead, he touches. His warm hand closes over your cunt, and his fingers slide up and over your still-sensitive clit. He gives you exactly what you need, and when his mouth start exploring you again, your orgasm already starts to rise.

“Kiss me”

He jumps up to your chest, and your neck, and finally lands on your lips as you come for him.

/ / /

Not getting a positive result on either test was a strange surprise, you have to admit. Every time you’ve had sex, save the first time, it’s ended the same way; you laying here, staring at him, filled with him. Right now, you’re comfortable and curled up in his arms, and you can feel the slow trickle of cum on your thigh. You like it.

“I’ll start birth control, so we won’t have to worry”

You’re not sure he’s still awake until he moves his hand up your back, and laughs under his breath. “I’m not worried. But you don’t want a baby, so we will be careful.”

You don’t want one, not we. Every time he talks on the subject, you move closer to the conclusion that a very big part of him wants a child. You have to find out for sure, and you need to know why, if that is the case. This is a strange home to bring a baby into, you think again. Two damaged parents can’t make a happy, well-adjusted child, can they? No. It doesn't even matter how you feel, or how he feels, because neither of you are there yet. You might never be.

"Minnie?" Not smiling when you say it seems impossible, Minnie. It's cute, and it doesn't seem to match him, or it didn't when you first met...it does now. You see a Minnie in there; sweet, loving, overflowing with heartache and nowhere to put it.

“Hmm?” Of course he expects you to bring it up, his three stupid little words he couldn’t keep to himself; his sudden outpouring of emotions, because he finally boiled over in the moment. Seungmin wonders if that’s how it usually feels—like you’re going to explode from the pain. That’s how it feels when he’s kneeling in the dirt with his flowers, and that’s how he feels when he remembers too much all at once. But this was a different type of pain.

“Minnie,” you say it again, whisper it, feel it leave your mouth and reach his ears. His eyes grow, and you can see them reflect every little light in the room. Why didn’t you tell him first, and what if Seungmin is wondering that, too? You feel it, and you have felt it far too long in your short time knowing him. He knows that. He knows you’re the one bursting with love for him, he has to know that. “I should have told you.”

There’s so much he doesn’t know, and now you’re going to tell him something that will change whatever this is. “Told me what?”

You hope it changes things for the better. “How I feel." It could always complicate things, or scare him, even though he opened his mouth first.

"Told me how you feel?"

"How I feel when I look at you. How much I love you."

[butchdiaz]

ask for essays on tommy's nerves have essays on tommy's nerves delivered directly to your doorstep!!! sorry in advance for the length and incoherency of this ask because lou's acting choices genuinely make me feel deranged, we are so lucky to have him.

exhibit a: the hand on the chin when buck opens the door. he's thought about this so carefully you can tell from the moment he enters the scene. and i don't even mean the kiss. i don't think tommy knew that was going to happen until approx. five seconds before it did. but he wants to get this conversation right.

exhibit b: the fucking breathlessness when he says "we can talk" (yes we're still not even in the loft yet). like that is the breathlessness of a man seeing whom he assumes is his emotionally unavailable big boy crush and realising he's going to have to smooth things over between him and the man most likely making him unavailable to tommy. (it's also just tommy seeing big beefy tank buckley and getting a little flustered methinks)

exhibit c (moving actually into the loft now): obsessed, deeply deeply obsessed with the way buck removes the obstacle of the kitchen island between them and tommy immediately crosses his arms over his chest like he's trying to put it back between them subtly because he still doesn't think he's allowed to Want.

exhibit d: the way he literally cannot look at buck as buck starts moving in closer quite literally makes me want to rip my hair out. like baby, you're allowed to look i promise, i swear.

exhibit e: the breakout of the laugh to full seriousness as he commits to the "i'm renowned for my fake mouth static" is so special to me because. i have done that. i have committed to a bit that was perhaps a bit too revealing/suggestive with my heart pounding as a way of testing the waters. and then the relieved amusement of his "cmon hey" when buck plays into it.

exhibit f: the way tommy looks at buck when buck's giving his little "threw in with us no hesitation" speech is so. that man is ANCHORING his eyes to buck's eyes. he's still not allowed to look, he is being respectful, he is overcompensating, he is FIGHTING for his life.

exhibit g: his tiny little smile when buck mentions the tour. you wanted to see me? 🥺

exhibit h: the fucking recoil when buck says he wanted to get to know him. the disbelief. the oh. the maybe i can have this.

exhibit i: the slow drop of his smile the more time buck spends mentioning eddie (which btw why is that line so long fuck off buck stand up!!) thinking oh never mind.

exhibit j: "i could teach you" with that bashful little shrug of his shoulders. i could teach you if you'd let me.

exhibit k: the realisation that sinks in after buck says about flying lessons. he wants to spend time with me, he's moving closer. oh shit, i'm allowed, i'm allowed, i'm allowed. the seriousness. the i have to make him understand i want him. the first time he lets his eyes drop to buck's lips.

exhibit l: my attention? one last check. one last check just to make sure. i can want this, i can want him.

exhibit m: his little kind of glassy-eyed smile between "i did maim my best friend" and "my sister". he is not listening to a word buck says. he is making a decision. a terrifying decision, but he's already made it.

exhibit n (typed through tears lol): the way he squeezes his eyes shut as he pulls away. buck is opening his but tommy squeezes his shut harder. he doesn't want to see the disgust on buck's face. he's bracing for rejection. he's hoping, hoping, hoping.

exhibit o: the breathlessness of "like that?" please tell me that was okay, please tell me that's allowed, please please please. the clench of his jaw as he waits for buck's answer, the slight nod like he's confirming something to himself.

exhibit p: the smile when it sinks in that buck wants this. the smile before the immediate "so that was okay?" just needing that verbal confirmation for buck, yeah, but also for himself.

and then for me it's the complete shift in tommy's demeanour after buck confirms it's okay. he goes from this quiet, hesitant, reserved tommy to this confident, flirty, little bit sensual tommy the moment he's allowed. cross town traffic 🫦 came in a car this time 😏. it's just such a wild switch up but it makes so much sense because the nerves have gone. he's allowed to want. (jesus got halfway through the alphabet sorry)

SAMI IM GONNA SCREAM BRB TIME TO WATCH THIS SCENE SIDE BY SIDE W UR ANALYSIS THIS IS SO FUCKING GOOD !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[leviathans-watching]

I have an request for you- is it alright if you do an fanfic where the brothers, dateables, and even the new characters get turned into toddlers? And now (mc) had to care of them? But Luke turns into a baby. A really fluffy, motherly thing? Idrk it's my first time requesting from you- it's alright if you don't want to do it though! :D -chickechee 🐥

when they turn into toddlers

includes: barbatos & gn!reader, & everyone else (no pronouns mentioned)

rated g | wc: .5k | m.list

a/n: oml this was so cute i hope you enjoy!! i have more baby!luke here as well. my inbox is open to chat, req, or leave feedback so come say hi <33

reblogs are greatly appreciated

“oh my god!” you look around the room in horror. “what the hell happened?”

barbatos looks like he hasn't slept in a week. it’s only been a few hours since the initial incident. “what always does,” he answers tiredly, shifting toddler–yes, toddler!–diavolo to his other hip. “someone touched some cursed relic they weren’t supposed to and the effect was disastrous.”

“that’s one word for it,” you murmur. everyone, except for you and barbatos, had regressed into children. infants, even. barbatos had made quick use of the castle’s nursery, left over from one of the previous rulers, and turned it into something daycare-esque, thankfully providing a safe space for them all to be that would keep them out of harm's way, as well as trouble.

as you watch, mammon rises onto shaky legs, making his way over to levi, who’s playing with blocks. “oh please tell me he’s not going to do what i think he’s going to do,” you moan.

“he’s going to do exactly what you think he’s going to do,” barbatos replies, and sure enough, in one deliberate movement, mammon knocks over all of levi’s hard work. immediately, levi begins to scream, startling mammon, who falls back onto the padded ground and begins to cry himself.

“oh, shush.” moving more on instinct, you scoop levi up, patting his back gently. “you’ll be alright, honey.”

he quiets, staring at your face. you wonder if he recognizes you. mammon is still crying, so you set levi back down and move on to comforting him.

“that wasn’t very nice, now, was it?” you ask gently. “let’s not knock over other’s towers, okay?”

he sniffles, rubbing at his eyes with tiny fat baby hands, and it’s just the most adorable thing you’ve ever seen. when you go to set him down, he holds tight, and you realize that apparently, he was just as clingy as a toddler as he is now. wonderful.

shifting him to one side, you take stock of everyone else, making sure there are no immediate concerns. simeon, rapheal, and lucifer are sitting together, coloring (and jesus christ you’re going to need to pull out your camera right now), diavolo is still in barbatos’ capable grasp, beel and belphie are napping quietly in a pile of blankets, solomon is telling something to asmo and satan in incomprehensible toddler speech, and mephisto and thirteen are busy playing on their own. you spy a crib in the corner, which must hold luke, who barbatos had said had regressed into an infant rather than a toddler.

“you’re good with children,” barbatos observes, and you sigh.

“i always did like them. i spent my teenage years as a babysitter and camp counselor so i have some experience under my belt,” you explain. “so are you, by the way.” you’ve long stopped being surprised by the fact that barbatos is skilled at literally everything.

“yes, well, it helps that they’re a bit better behaved like this than when they are normally,” he says, and you can’t help but laugh. against your shoulder, mammon echoes your laugh, then sticks his fingers in his mouth. eh, he’s got a demon’s immune system, he’ll be fine.

“how much longer are they going to stay like this?” you ask, and barbatos shrugs.

“probably two or three more hours,” he says.

“just enough time to have to give them lunch while they’re like this,” you say with a slow-dawning horror. “which should be super easy and not difficult or tiring at all.”

leviathans-watching's work - please do not copy, repost, or claim as your own

[valiantstarlights]

Which Hob Gadling Are You? Quiz

Instructions: Get a pen and paper (or open your notes app) to keep track of your answers and scores. Select one response and add +1 to your tally. At the end, the letter with the most number of tally marks is your result. There are 8 possible results, as there are 8 versions of Hob. Enjoy! 😊✨

--

1.) How well do you flirt?

Not sure. There's no one to flirt with. (A)

Fucking terrible. (G)

Not trying, not interested. (E)

Somewhat of a disaster, but I'd like to think there's hope for me. (B)

Not sure. I think I'm decent at it, but... (C)

I'm often not sure if I'm being flirted with, but if the person is my type, then I'll do my best to flirt back! (H)

I know what I'm doing, and hopefully it's my date tonight. ;) (F)

Honestly? I'm at a point in my life where I don't care if I'm good at flirting or not. (D)

2.) How much do you wanna fuck/get fucked by your date?

0% - Not right now. I have other priorities. (E)

25% - I'm not actively thinking about it, but if they're interested, then I'm game. (B and D)

50% - Why not? My date is super hot and I'm very interested in them. But if they're not in the mood, then that's fine, too. (H and C)

75% - Look, I'm making an Effort here. It would be nice if my date could show some interest. (G and A)

100% - OH HECK YEAH (F)

3.) Finish the sentence: "How..."

did you know that I'd still be here? (B)

long should I wait? (A)

did you know my name? (H)

wonderful to see you again. (D)

the hell did I fuck that up? (C)

rude! (G)

do you want me? ;) (F)

much longer until my order gets here? (E)

4.) Pick one word from the list:

Life (E)

Patience (A)

Change (F)

Courage (H)

Wonder (B)

Contentment (D)

Friendship (C)

Prosperity (G)

5.) Do you hate Shakespeare?

Ugh. Do we have to talk about him? I have more important things to worry about. (E)

I'm so glad you asked. Here, make yourself comfortable. I have a 6 hour presentation on why he sucks. (D)

I'd rather read a phonebook. (A)

I don't know who that is. (B)

(sighs) If I say no, will you leave me alone? (C)

THAT FUCKING BASTARD (G)

I watched one of his plays. Still think he's overrated, though. (F)

What's a shake spear? Is that a weapon or something? (H)

6.) How likely are you to say stupid shit?

Everything I say is stupid shit. (G)

Only when I'm drunk. (H)

I have no filter, so... (B)

I'd like to think I have learned not to be so careless. (E)

Fuck! I thought I had it! Apparently not. Gods motherfuck I'm never speaking again. (C)

I'm trying, okay? I really am. (F)

I said stupid shit once and I regret it until now. (A)

Very likely. Just wait and see. Any second now. (D)

--

YES OR NO QUESTIONS: If your answer is yes, +1 to the letter indicated.

7.) Do you believe in love at first sight? (H)

8.) Do you get excited over things/topics that others consider boring? (B)

9.) Are you content with the life you have right now? (G)

10.) Do you still feel hopeful, despite the horrors? (E)

11.) Are you always DTF (Down To Fight)? (F)

12.) Have you ever fallen in love with a friend? (C)

13.) Would you wait/Have you waited for hours for your friend/s to arrive? (A)

14.) Are you willing to wait however long it takes for the love of your life to appear in your life? (D)

--

15.) BONUS: Which is your favorite Hob?

1389 (H)

1489 (B)

1589 (G)

1689 (E)

1789 (F)

1889 (C)

1989 (A)

2022 (D)

--

RESULTS:

Mostly A's = 1989 Hob

Mostly B's = 1489 Hob

Mostly C's = 1889 Hob

Mostly D's = 2022 Hob

Mostly E's = 1689 Hob

Mostly F's = 1789 Hob

Mostly G's = 1589 Hob

Mostly H's = 1389 Hob

[thevoidstaredback]

Danny: Dick! There's a monster under my bed and it's really ugly

Tim: Honestly, fuck you

Oracle: Time for Plan G

Batman: Don't you mean Plan B?

Oracle: No, we tried Plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over Plan C due to technical difficulties

Nightwing: What about Plan D?

Oracle: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago

Agent A: What about Plan E?

Oracle: I'm hoping we don't have to use it; Phantom dies in Plan E

Robin: I like Plan E

Danny, texting Tim: Tim! HELP! I'm being kidnapped!

Dick: Where are you?

Danny: I'm with some strange person. In a car. Help!

Tim: I'll call Dick

Dick, answering his phone: Y'ello?

Tim: Where's Danny? He texted me that he was getting kidnapped

Dick: Danny? What do you mean? He's right here next to-

Dick:

Dick: I'll call you back *hangs up*

Dick: MY NEW HAIRCUT ISN'T THAT BAD!

Danny: WHO ARE YOU?!?!

Robin: How do Batman and Nightwing usually get out of these messes?

Oracle: They don't. They just make a bigger mess that cancels the first one out

Babs: You can trust me! Let's not forget who pull you out of the river when you were twelve!

Dick: Let's not forget who pushed me in!

Robin: How are we supposed to defeat Captain Boomerang?

Tutelary: I'm not supposed to have ideas; I'm the hot one

Robin: I'm pretty sure I'm the hot one

Dick: Without you, Danny, we're just three idiots who live together

Tim: You make us a family, Danny

Danny: Well, I'm like the cool rebel sibling, of course

Babs: No, you're the mom

Dick & Tim: Yeah, definitely the mom

Babs: Look, Danny, if you come back to us, I'll let you clean my room

Danny: Deal

Dick: Look! Here's my award for most rules broken!

Danny: That's not an award; That's just a really angry letter from Bruce

Dick, hanging it up on the wall: Well, it has the word 'most' in it so I'm calling it an award

Babs: I have seven empty notebooks and I have no idea what to put in them

Danny: Put spaghetti in 'em

Babs: I am currently taking suggestions from anyone but you

Tim: Put spaghetti in 'em

Babs: I am currently taking suggestions from anyone but you two

Dick: Put spaghetti in 'em

Babs: I am no longer taking suggestions

Tutelary: You need to drink water

Nightwing: No

Tutelary: The last guy who didn't drink water when I suggested died

Nightwing: Oh, my god!

Tutelary: In a plane crash

Nightwing: That sounds unrelated

Tutelary: I'm the one who crashed it. Don't disobey me

Danny, aggressively throwing water bottles: HYDRATE OR DIE-DRATE!

Tim: Uh...what's up with him?

Babs: He's trying to yell mental health and well-being into us

Danny: I APPRECIATE ALL OF YOU

Dick, sniffling: It's working

Robin: How come when I have fun it's considered wrong?

Batman: People die when you have fun

Wally: I like your dress

Dick: Thanks; it was 50% off

Wally: I'd like it 100% off

Dick: The store can't just give out free stuff

Wally: That's not what I-

Dick: That's a horrible what to run a business, Wally

Dick: I have decided that I am, in fact, a snack. People are just not hungry

Wally, under his breath: I'm starving

Tim: Why are you smiling?

Dick: What? Can't I just be happy?

Danny: Bruce tripped and fell in the parking lot

Dick: I can't find it... I can't find it!

Babs: What did you loose?

Dick: I can't find it! I can't find my happiness!

Babs: What do you-

Tim: He means he can't find Danny

Danny: So... I see you've been spending a lot of time with Kon recently

Tim: No, Danny, it's not what it looks like, I swear!

Danny: Oh, really? No reason for me to be jealous?

Tim: No! You're the only one for me

Danny: Is that so?

Tim: I promise! Kon and I are just dating, okay? He's my partner

Danny: So there are no best-friend-feelings involved?

Tim: You are still my one and only best friend! He's just the love of my life, nothing more!

Danny: But I'm still the platonic love of your life, right?

Tim: Of course, bro!

Danny: Bro...

Kon: What the-

[the-golden-comet]

🌸✨OC Questionnaire Tag +bonus Character Voice✨🌺

Thank you for this tag @mysticstarlightduck here, a character voice tag here, more questions from @ominous-feychild here and @fantasy-things-and-such here✨

My questions:

How good is your sleep schedule?

Do you have any siblings? If so, how good is your relationship?

What was the toughest time you had to endure while growing up?

What was the worst day of your life?

What's your worst nightmare?

If a monster asked you your worst nightmare, what would you tell it and why?

"What's your relationship with your family like?"

"Do you have any hobbies? if so, what ones?"

"Do you dream often? what about?"

"What is the one thing you would not wish on your greatest adversary?

And answering the questions With this voice:

"(sighs, done with life) Alright, what did you do now?"

Guess who has the perfect OC to answer these? That’s right: Come on out, Tyr:

From In The Realm Of Giants

Sucks. Getting jostled around in a jar isn’t the most comfortable sleeping space. Go figure, right? (Glares up at Tav)

No. I’m an only child. Mom died when I was five, and Dad’s been overprotective of his only son. Heh….probably should’ve listened in hindsight…

Right after Mom died, we were grieving. Dad grieved a long, long time. He was so paranoid he’d lose me too, that he didn’t let me outside our cottage home for a year. I had to really fight hard to show him that I can be worthy of leadership, that I’m okay, and he doesn’t need to smother me. I passed all the trials and he still sees me as this defenseless child. I’m twenty-two now; I don’t need to have him breathing down my neck.

Losing my mother. How Dad sat me down, tears welled in his eyes, choking out that Mom wasn’t coming back. I felt lost…confused….angry. D-damn it….

(Glares up at the giant from inside the jar) I dunno, Tav. What IS my worst nightmare?

(still glaring, words dripping with venomous sarcasm) OH GEE, I DON’T KNOW, GUSTAV. What WOULD I tell you?

I love my dad and my village. Yeah, he can be a bit overbearing at times, but I can see why. I’m a rebellious little shit, and I caused a lot of trouble for him. And the village…I would die to protect my people. Oh Dad, I’m sorry….I hope everyone’s doing alright….

Besides not getting eaten by a giant? I did my trainings to get all my marks. I guess you can call those hobbies….? I passed my archery test for the Mark of the Snake, led a successful pack hunt for my Mark of the Wolf, and passed the fishing trial for my Mark of the Bear

Usually it’s nightmares about getting eaten alive….being abducted by this dumbass didn’t help that—H-HEY! Don’t jostle the jar!! Fucker, you did that on purpose!! I see you snickering!!

(Glaring up at Gustav so intensely the sun couldn’t burn him to the same degree)

G: …..Huh? What? I wasn’t paying attention. 🤷‍♂️

Whew! I’ll leave these same questions for anyone else who wants to answer, as little or as many as you want in any order! ✨

Tagging (no pressure): @finickyfelix , @illarian-rambling , @saturnine-saturneight , @rivenantiqnerd , @noxxytocin , @pixies-love-envy , @honeybewrites , @drchenquill , @theaistired , @aintgonnatakethis , @willtheweaver , @autism-purgatory , @gioiaalbanoart , @alinacapellabooks , @fortunatetragedy , @theverumproject , @kaylinalexanderbooks , @wyked-ao3 , @addicted2coke-theothercoke , @paeliae-occasionally , @sunglasses-in-the-bentley , @jev-urisk , @thatuselesshuman , @lychhiker-writes +open tag! ✨

[lovevxle]

Can you do lucifer x trans female reader that lives in the hotel and has become Charlie’s mother figure while Lilith has been away, The reader when lucifer first comes to the hotel is like, “HOLY SHIT HES ADORABLE”. Then lucifer sees the reader and gets flustered himself.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆

Nervous.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆

Lucifer x trans!fem

Cw🚩: none :)

a/n: this was a cute idea! I haven't meant to put it off for other fics, it was just a bit difficult to write😭🙏 Anyway, hope you enjoy reading and just know I trieddd!!

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You were a sinner at the Hazbin Hotel. You had been staying there a few months, but over that span of time, you and Charlie became inseparable. She would often ask you for afterlife advice, how to run the hotel better, or just for a chat. Since Lilith had left, she had no one to call a mother until she found you. She had no problem telling you how much you meant to her and vise versa.

It had been a while since you really felt alright talking to people about your gender identity, but with the people at the hotel...it felt like home. They would support you, comfort you, and help you become the person you wanted to be. To them, you were family, cisgendered or not.

It was a regular day in the hotel and you were helping Charlie clean up after a redemption activity. After cleaning, Charlie gathers up the residents of the Hotel. She looks at you nervously and you give her a smile to help her let out the words. "My father will be coming later tonight..it's just to talk about heaven stuff and meet you guys! Nothing much..he wont even be here for that long and he'll-" Charlie goes on.

Everyone ia mostly fine with this and also sorta exited to be meeting the King of Hell himself. A few hours pass and there's a knock at the hotel door. Charlie nervously opens. "Hey d-" "CHARLIE!!" Lucifer yells as he hugs his daughter tightly.

He looled exactly as described. Pale white skin, rosy cheeks, and slick back blonde hair. He was quite attractive not to lie...and short. Very short. He was introduced to all the residents, Angel, Husk, Niffty, Vaggie, Sir Pentious, Alastor (pure chaos), and then you. It went pretty well with most of them (except Al of course), but when he saw you...poof. You tried shaking his sweaty hand as you two blushed and smiled.

Yes, this was infact very akward.

Some time passed and he found himself trying to get to know you more. Charlie did have to pry him away from you a few times to go talk to the others. "So why ya' down here anyway, heh?" "What era were you from?" on, and on, and on. He was so invested in getting to know you and...you were just happy talking to him.

The night was starting to settle down and Lucifer was getting ready to leave. Everyone had sayd their goodbye's and right qhen you said it aswell and so did he. "Um...b-before I leave...could I possibly maybe slightly get your numberrrr?" you were stunned.

I mean, sure he was being extra nice to you, not really talking to anyone else, and trying to g- oh. He really liked you. "I- uh- sure!" You replied. Charlie's eyes shot open. Right as you two were exchanging phones, you stopped for a second.

"Wait."

He looked up slightly worried "Um..yes?" he asked. "You do know I'm not like..how do I say this...cis?" Lucifer chuckled. "Oh, darling, I don't care about that!" your face relaxes. He accepted you. "O-oh! Great then!" you said, obviously happy. He eventually did leave and you were in a great mood the rest of the night.

As the caring ainner you were, did go check if this was okay with Charlie after he did leave though. "It's fine! As long as you're happy, I'm happy. I was just a little suprised is all." she said, smiling. "You promise it's alright?" you ask anxiously.

"Promise."

『~☆Masterlist☆~』

『~☆Become apart of the taglist☆~』

[terrible-influence-tour-reviews]

a few things about tit berlin:

at the m&g, i was so horribly nervous, and they were SO patient with me! phil especially kept telling me its okay and was really patient with my stuttering :) first thing dan said when i came around the corner was "hi- oh my god i love the boots". immediately so comfortable and so sweet. he actually kept mentioning how glad he was i wore them cause he can finally take a normal selfie /j (im their height w/ the boots)

the show itself: (no spoilers!)

it was a fever dream! like, im still so elated and its almost been a month? it was my first ever time seeing them live and i honestly dont remember the last time i had that much fun. it was so light and refreshing, i honestly really loved the program, what they did with the stage, how comfortable they seemed! they really dont care anymore and it makes me so happy.

another anecdote:

when d&p joked about "yeah you'll meet someone at the show, just go alone" i didnt really believe them cause im just not that kinda person, but as i went alone? i met a lovely, lovely person there and we're actually going on holiday in london next year, to see them again! so (as much as i hate admitting it) they were right! :D

i hope everyone else going has had/will have as much fun as i did, its really healed a part of me and i wish the best to yall <3

Omg. I'm so glad you had the best time. And that you met someone who you clicked with. Are you going to the London dates?

And that they made you feel at ease - that's lovely to hear ❤️❤️❤️

Thank you so much for sharing

[lilac-rose-writes]

Monty: *Trying to fill out legal paperwork stuff* Were you guys born AMAB or AFAB? Carla: Bold of you to assume I was born at all. Penny: I personally was created in a lab. Jerome: I just straight up spawned lol.

Principal: Why are you on the floor? Applegate: I'm depressed. Applegate: Also I was stabbed, can you call an ambulance?

Felix: In light of what you did for me, you can hug me for four to five seconds. Ted: FORTY FIVE SECONDS?!? Felix: No! Four to five seconds! Ted: Too late!!!

Kid: How petty can you get? Monty: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

Ted: .. .----. -- / ... --- .-. .-. -.-- [translation: I’M SORRY] Carla: What's that? Ted: Remorse code :( Carla: I'm even angrier now.

Jerome: Sometimes I drink milk straight out of the container. Cindy: The cow??? Buggs: What? Jerome: Cindy, W H Y?

Lily: Time for plan G. Kid: Don’t you mean plan B? Lily: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties. Billy: What about plan D? Lily: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago. Kid: What about plan E? Billy: I’m hoping not to use it. Cindy dies in plan E. Lily: I like plan E.

Felix: Can you keep a secret? Kid: Do you know anything about my life? Felix: No I do not. Good point.

Lunch Lady: Do you have any skeletons in your closet? Janitor: You mean literally or figuratively? Lunch Lady: Honestly, the fact that I have to specify...

Ted: You're 'the second worst thing to ever happen to those orphans', what does that mean? Felix: It means i was second worst thing to happen to those orphans. Ted: but what’s the first worst thing? *Awkward pause* Felix: Teddy, they...they weren’t always orphans. Ted: ...

Nugget: Goodbye Pretty Lily! Goodbye Friend Billy! Goodbye Bully Buggs! Goodbye Mean Cindy! Goodbye Pretty Lily! Jerome: You said ‘bye Lily’ twice. Nugget: Nugget likes the Pretty Lily.

Buggs: Don’t worry, I have a few knives up my sleeve. Kid: I think you mean cards. Buggs, pulling knives out of his sleeves: No, I do not.

Carla: *Posts a super low-quality image to the group chat* Ozzy: If I had a dollar for every pixel in this image, I’d have 15 cents Carla: If I had a dollar for every ounce of rage I felt in my body after I read this text, I would have enough money to buy a cannon to fire at you Monty: Actually I did the math, Ozzy would have $225, not $0.15. Carla: Fam I’m right here.... Penny: If I had a dollar I would buy a can of soda :) Billy: while you’re there could you buy me an apply juice please? Penny: Sorry I only have a dollar :( Billy: :(( Jerome: Hey I just realized my friend is right, Ozzy would have $22,500 because it's a dollar for every pixel, not a cent Penny: If I had $22,500 I would buy a can of soda and an apply juice Ozzy: You can buy anything you want with $22,500 Carla: Yeah and she wants soda and apply juice Monty: Apply juice to what Billy: Directly to the forehead Lily: Great chat everyone

Jerome: A theif. Monty: Thief? Jerome: Theif. Monty: I before E, except after C. Jerome: Thceif. Monty: No.

Bob, driving Penny and Billy: So how was your day? Penny: We almost got surprise adopted! Bob: What? Billy: We almost got kidnapped. Bob: Oh, okay. Bob: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

Carla: If you had to choose between Jerome and all the money I have in my wallet, which would you choose? Monty: That depends, how much money are we taking about? Jerome: Monty! Carla: 63 cents. Monty: I'll take the money. Jerome: MONTY!!

Ted, at a restaurant: You guys should get the orange soda, it's amazing. Kid: Okay Waiter: Can I get you guys anything to drink? Ted: Orange soda, please! Felix: I'll have the strawberry soda. Kid: Me too, strawberry soda. Ted:

Carla: I can explain. Penny: Can you? Carla: If you give me thirty seconds to think of a lie.

Billy: I turned out perfectly fine! Lily: Billy, this morning you thought a ghost made your toast Billy: I DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN! YOU DIDN’T PUT THE BREAD IN!!!

Jerome: What are your goals? Kid: To pet all the cats. Jerome: No, fitness goals. Kid: To be able to run fast enough to pet all the cats.

[delusionalwings]

I remember that yan Levi scenario where we were about to break up with him but couldn't. May I please ask for headcanons about finally breaking up with him and commenting about he seems to love Ruri-chan more than he does with them

― synopsis -> finally breaking up with levi

― characters -> levi

― gender neutral reader

― scenario

― warnings -> yandere content, mentions of violence, emotional manipulation.

― a/n -> i've been really busy so sorry for being so late :"D

Levi can be persuasive when he wants to be. With all the waterworks and whining about how he's just a pathetic yucky otaku, and how he only has his waifus and husbandos on his side, you can't help but be gentle with him.

However, the constant talks about how his precious Ruri-chan will never be as apathetic towards him as you leaves you more and more disconcerted. One would expect someone who demands absolute devotion and attention to give the same in return. That thought might have been the only positive attribute you had associated with the relationship but even that was falling apart.

Why were you even together with this guy?

----

You were having a bad day. A horrible one, really. You felt insecure and invalidated and burnt out. A day off would be absolute heaven in the middle of the Hell you lived in.

"Levi," you called out from outside, hoping to be pampered and loved. Was that a lot to ask from your boyfriend?

"Hana Ruri-chan is the cutest!" you heard from inside.

You waited. When no answer followed, you sighed, realised that he must have headphones on so you entered the room with the spare key he had given you.

Without further comment, you tiptoed to him, a little excited about the little prank you were about to play. You checked to see if he was in the middle of a game so as not to interrupt at a crucial point. Everything looked fine so you took his headphones off gently and shouted, "Surprise, Levi!"

He gasped and turned around with fury in his eyes. Snatching his headphones from your hands, he said vehemently, "Do-Don't you ever do th-that again!"

You took a step back on realising that the stutter was not a byproduct of anxiety but of rage. He was so blinded that he could not speak coherently.

You felt your anger rising too. Why should you be treated like this? Standing up as straight as possible, you said, "Why? How was my action wrong?"

He got up so quickly that the gaming chair fell sideways on the floor with a loud thud.

"I was on a call with a gamer and I was telling them why Ruri-chan IS amazing! It had only been an hour or so. I was right in the zone. Why did you have to interrupt me? You always ruin everything! I can't have fun with you around!"

You fought the tears that threatened to spill at the burn of his words. Was that all you meant to him? Did you add no joy to his life? When was the last time that he had paid you a compliment half as sweet as that?

"Okay, fine," you said slowly, not looking at him, afraid that the look of disgust or whatever was to come would hurt you like a knife. "If that is all you feel about me, I will let you have your fun from now onward. I won't ruin anything for you. I am breaking up with you. I will do my best to not let you be aware of my existence."

He looked shell-shocked. Being as familiar with his expressions as you were, you had no difficulty in catching on to his line of thought.

"Oh yes, you heard me right, Levi. I am b-r-e-a-k-i-n-g u-p with you, after all. A break up! Also, since you have made your feelings clear enough, let me get something off my chest too. You really drain my energy, Levi. I wish sometimes you can let it be about me. I have days when I can't babysit you. Well, it doesn't matter. Just. Please just don't show me your face."

"Whaaaa-? H-How could you..." he moaned and looked helpless. "A-A-And that too right before an important gaming marathon? I k-k-know that I am a good-for-nothing shut-in but you wouldn't be so inconsiderate, now, would you?"

You raised your eyebrows and drawled disinterestedly, "I'm sure you'll be fine. You have the power of anime and cute Hana Ruri-chaaaaan on your side, after all."

"I-"

You cut him short with a Ruri figurine. "To prove that I'm not heartless, I will give this to you as a parting gift. This is a limited edition figurine that's not yet out in the market. Satan knew someone on the production team and he pulled in some strings to get this as a favour to me. So here."

You threw it at him and began walking towards the door.

//Ending one//

As expected, your boyfriend, or rather your ex-boyfriend, didn't follow you but tried to save the figurine.

"H-H-How dare you do that to Rur-"

Turning towards the door, he flared angrily but realised that he was alone there. Well alone except for his numerous figurines.

//Alternate ending//

If you had expected him to be distracted by the figurine, you were in for a surprise. You had grossly underestimated the extent of his obsession with you.

You see, Levi had always considered you his and when he thought he wanted something, he usually got it. He would spent countless nights without sleep waiting to book a ticket or buy dozens and dozens of products to get one figurine that he already had five of. It made no sense but Levi did not give up easily on the things that he wanted.

When he was defeated, he felt surprised, cursed a little then a lot, whined, was impressed by whoever got their hands on his desired object and then went out to remove their pitiable existence from the bowels of Hell discreetly to get the item.

You are different. You are special.

He wouldn't let you change hands. You were his before and that would remain the case till the day you die. Then he would have your corpse carved out and be refilled so that you could live with him longer. So gorgeous in a Ruri-chan cosplay and no complaints then!

How could you have expected him to let you leave so easily? In a moment of adrenaline rush, he caught the figurine by reflex. Perfectly. Even he was bewildered.

His mind was blank. He knew you were serious. Your face said so quite clearly.

He closed his eyes and lunged at you, hitting you hard with the figurine he had caught.

He was panting by the time your hand grazed the doorknob and you fell down unconscious.

"You will never leave me, [Name]," he said, crying, as he pulled your body towards him. "Oh my Diavolo. You made me ruin the figurine! You can't leave after the sacrifices I have made!"

[littlehypnone]

Hi hi’s I love your blog and I had an idea for a fic let if youre looking for writing ideas

phantom is new to the ministry and is still trying to adjust and he meets aether and aether realizes he might be a little (phantom maybe doesnt know) and comfort and cuddles ensue

bye bye’s-🍁

im not sure this is exactly what you had in mind, but i cooked up a lil thing, hope you like it!

For the first few weeks since Phantom and Aurora got summoned, they have only heard of the older quintessence ghoul—Aether���that the former was supposed to be replacing in the band. He was away for some additional studies before he would take on the Abbey’s infirmary as his responsibility.

He sounds like an amazing and kind person who, according to absolutely everyone, gives the best hugs. Phantom is a bit anxious about meeting him, considering it's his shoes he was going to have to fill, but he was also excited.

When the time comes, he doesn’t even know that Aether is back. Phantom was practicing for a while—as he does every day now—and he’s exhausted by the time he gets on his way back to the ghouls’ den. They feel their head getting a little fuzzy; something they’re already used to, but still aren’t sure what it is that happens to them.

They yawn as they pad through the big, old corridors. Their size overwhelms Phantom a bit and they wrap their own arms around their body and continue on with their head hung low to only stare at the floor and not the unsettlingly tall walls.

It works well enough until the little ghoul bumps into something. Or rather someone.

They lift their head and gasp, realizing they don’t know the big ghoul that they just walked into.

“I’m s–sorry, sir, I’ll–I’ll g–go,” they mumble as their anxiety rises.

“It’s okay,” the stranger says and Phantom thinks his voice is really nice, “you’re Phantom, aren’t you?”

“Yes…how d–did you know?”

“Oh, I’m Aether,” the older quintessence ghoul announces and suddenly it all makes sense. Phantom sniffs on the air around them and sure enough Aether does smell like pack, safety and home. “Nice to meet you! Are you okay, by the way?”

“Mhm, jus’ t–tired.” They rub their eyes as if for emphasis.

“Hm…” Aether rumbles. “Forgive me for being so straightforward, but would I be correct to assume you’re feeling a little small? Fuzzy?”

“Yeah, a lil’ bit,” Phantom says, immediately feeling like Aether is one to trust. “S’fine.”

“Well, I know we just met, but I heard I give really great cuddles and I’d love to get to know you better, so what about we go to your room and we see if you, too, are a fan of Aether hugs?”

Phantom thinks for a little while, considering the offer. They like cuddles and if the older quintessence ghoul does give good ones…well, they can’t decline, can they?

They nod. “Yes, p–please.”

Aether smiles. “Is it okay if I pick you up?”

“Mhm, uppies!” Phantom giggles and reaches out. The other grins at them and picks them right up as if they weigh nothing. They probably do, at least to him.

The little ghoul instinctively nuzzles their face against Aether’s neck, scenting him and recognizing as pack. As family.

“You’re a very adorable little ghoul, you know that?” the older notes and Phantom blushes.

“And you’re very c–comfy,” they mumble.

“Glad to hear that!”

Aether chuckles and readjusts his hold on the little ghoul and soon enough they reach the den and Phantom’s room. The older quintessence ghoul makes sure a few times it’s okay to go in and sit on their bed—a nest being a very personal thing for a ghoul.

Aether only smiles, already so attached to one of his new packmates.

By the time they’re settled, Phantom is half asleep and purring. They realize Aether cuddles really are amazing.

“Nice t’meet you, too, Aefer,” they whisper before fully dozing off.

[pink-lemonade-wave-world]

Characters and Listeners Incorrect Quotes - Scythe Audios Edition

I was so patiently waiting for an episode of Atrocity series until my day was ruined when I saw the news. I was eager to see L.L and discover her powers, but noooo 😒. I wish for Scythe only the best and take his time.

━━━━━━━ •♬• ━━━━━━━

Siren, watching Sweet Cheeks: Ah yes. The mysterious and beautiful Sweet Cheeks, so demure…

Siren: …I wonder what sort of melodic sounds this wonderful being makes?

Sweet Cheeks: *screaming*

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Twinkle: Okay, help me, please!

Maverick: Got two words for you.

Twinkle: I bet they won't be helpful.

Maverick: Your problem.

Twinkle: I was right.

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

V: You know, I used to play back in my gory days.

Cherky: You mean glory days?

V: Ah, that too.

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Livana: I mean. Gray's just standing there now.

Alpha: Waiting for me, I guess.

Alpha: But it's okay, I think they've pretty much settled down.

Livana: Settled down?

Alpha: Well, they only stabbed me once.

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Twinkle, gardening: Hey, can you bring me the hoe?

Cheeky: Yeah, sure.

*A few minutes later*

Cheeky: Here you go.

Twinkle:

Cheeky:

Succubus: Why am I here?

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Goddess: Everyone thinks you suck.

Twinkle: I think you have the wrong number…

Goddess: Cheeky?

Twinkle: Nope. Twinkle.

Goddess: Well, you probably suck too…

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Kidnapper: I have one of your friends.

L: Which one? I have seven.

Kidnapper: The loud, annoying, rowdy one who never shuts up.

L: Which one? I have seven.

V, distantly: HEY!!!

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Twinkle: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!?

Maverick: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Marcus: Time for plan G.

Kreed: Don’t you mean plan B?

Marcus: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.

Cole: What about plan D?

Chosen: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.

Kreed: What about plan E?

Marcus: I’m hoping not to use it. Floofster dies in plan E.

Cole: I like plan E.

Floofster: D:

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Hunter: Just be careful, Demon Girl!

Demon Girl: *heading out the door* I'm always careful, Hunter!

Demon Girl: It's everything around me that's careless.

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Killian: I have a plan.

Julian: Good! As long as we aren’t breaking the law again, I’m open to hearing it.

Killian: …

Julian: …

Killian: I no longer have a plan.

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Dark Rose: I'm going to get myself some soup.

Vallakay: Be careful not to burn yourself, it's hot.

Dark Rose: Pfft, I won't burn myself.

*30 seconds later*

Dark Rose, entering the room: I burned myself.

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Alpha: Oh and for your information, I don't have an ego.

Alpha: My facebook photo is a landscape.

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Twinkle: I only have two emotions: exhaustion and stress. And I’m somehow always feeling both simultaneously.

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Atrocity: Little Love, you look deep in thought. What’s wrong?

Little Love: Did you know you can look at any object and know what it’s like to lick it? Even if you’ve never touched it before?

Atrocity: I’m never asking you anything ever again.

࿇ ══━━━━✥◈✥━━━━══ ࿇

Jay Jay: Twinkle, I got suspended from school…

Twinkle: WHAT?!?! What did you do?

Jay Jay: My teacher pointed at me with a ruler, and he said “there is an idiot at the end of this ruler”.

Twinkle: And…?

Jay Jay: I asked which end…

Twinkle, unable to contain their laughter: Okay, you just made my day.

━━━━━━━ •♬• ━━━━━━━

Next: Siren's Son ASMR

[ollie-duck]

Okay so

Racism towards Palestinians and not being starkly against their genocide is okay because you “have family in isnt-real (but they’re not white)”.

But

People having odd interests as coping mechanisms with the disorder that relies on coping with trauma in such extreme ways that the subconscious literally doesn’t fuse is bad.

Got it. Alters simply existing bad. But genocide acceptable.

Have the day you deserve, bootlicker.

@clockworkconstellati0n since you want to publicly insult me but are too much of a coward to do so with your handle attached (either that or your system blog is a side blog, either way, dick move).

You want to play this game? With an archaeologist? Really? Fine, I’ll play.

At no point did I say what Netanyahu is doing to the Palestinians is any way acceptable. I even told you outright that I believe in the two state solution. (AS DO THE VAST MAJORITY OF ISRAELIS on both counts)

(Proof)

Telling you that MY family isn’t white is not even remotely akin to racism against Palestinians. I brought it up because it’s a common JVP talking point, the same organization you openly claimed (at least some) affiliation with.

(Proof)

As for me calling out “alters for just existing” but being “totally fine with genocide” -

I don’t talk about the war specifically because it’s extremely upsetting to me, and also not even remotely relevant to system stuff. As for me not being okay with the guy who openly and publicly SUPPORTS THE ACTIONS OF THE FUCKING COLUMBINE SHOOTERS (it was more than just having fictives of them, if you had actually bothered to read the G-d damn post)

The fact that you assumed all of this about me simply based on the fact that I have family in Israel speaks VOLUMES about your values.

Good luck converting to an inherently Zionist religion with biases like those!

Quick lesson for those who don’t know!: Zionism/Zionist is the simply held belief (and the basis of our entire religion!) that Israel is our ancestral homeland, and that because we are indigenous to it, we ought to be… oh I don’t know… allowed to live there? Zionism does NOT mean you support the war. It does NOT mean you support Netanyahu. It does NOT mean that you believe we cannot coexist peacefully with the Palestinians. It does NOT mean you believe all Palestinians should die. It means, and has ALWAYS meant, that we believe we deserve to live in the land of our origin.

You say you want to convert to Judaism, but are just having such a hard time finding a non Zionist Shul to attend!

I wonder why that could be?

Did you know that over half of the 613 mitsvot are IMPOSSIBLE to perform outside of the land of Israel? But Judaism isn’t inherently Zionist or anything.

Pop quiz:

What temple was sequestered by a known Greek conqueror and later reclaimed by its original Jewish builders?

A) The temple of Manhattan

B) The temple of Canada

C) The second temple of Jerusalem‎ in Israel, then known as Judea ( בֵּית־הַמִּקְדָּשׁ‎ הַשֵּׁנִי‎ ) - gee I wonder what happened to the first one?

If you answered C, congrats! We celebrate this temple being returned to us every year with the Festival of Lights (hannukah)!

Question 2:

What land did we spend 40 years looking for after leaving subjugation in Egypt, according to our most sacred text?

A) Manhattan

B) Canada

C) Israel, the land of our birth

If you answered C, Israel, you’d be correct! But I’m sure that wasn’t one of the most important stories of our entire religion, or anything, right?

Question 3:

What popular phrase is said that the end of the Passover Seder, promising to celebrate next year in a specific city of great religious and cultural significance?

A) Next year in manhattan!

B) Next year in Ontario!

C) Next year in Jerusalem!

If you chose C, you’d be correct! Jews promise every year when we celebrate Passover, that next year we will do it in our most sacred city, the city in the land of our birth!

Oh dear, is that ANOTHER Zionist holiday? Maybe there’s a reason you’re having so much trouble finding rabbis who want to completely disown our most important doctrine. It’s not like the entire religion hinges on us being sons and daughters of Israel, or anything!

Have you participated in Tisha B’av yet? I wonder what that one commemorates! Fasting is very serious.

Uh oh! Looks like we found another Zionist holiday!

How about the holiest holiday we have (Yom Kippur)? Surely THAT one can be celebrated by anti Zionists such as yourself!

Oh dear! It looks like this one ALSO started in Jerusalem! Bummer!

But I’m sure you’ll have absolutely no conflicts with your fellow Jews by converting to the religion BUILT ON ZIONISM! They surely won’t feel unsafe in your presence, because obviously you wouldn’t go out of your way to insult them for where they were born! That would be racism! You aren’t racist! It’s not like over half of us were born in Israel or something!

“Over half of the Jewish population are Israeli-born to at least one parent who was also Israeli-born. Those of European and American ancestry make up about 2.2 million (36%) of the Jewish population in Israel, while Africans fill out another 14.5% and Asians are 11.2%.”

(Source - Jewish Virtual Library)

“More than four-fifths of all Jews live in just two countries, the United States (41%) and Israel (41%).”

(Source - Pew Research Center)

Are you sure that picking this fight with an archaeology major who hoped to specialize in the Near East was such a good idea?

You come for my family and I will come for you.

If this had stayed about me, I would’ve reacted with far less vitriol in my fact checking. But you went and brought my family into it. Given that you have such little grasp of what is important to Jews, I find it pertinent to mention that we always protect our family, no matter what.

Uncut screenshots and proof that this is them will be put in the reblog as I’ve hit the image limit.

[callsignmist]

A Dreamy Moment.

FIRST JACOB FANFIC IM PISSING MYSELF😭- (that was an attempt at a pun, i hate myself rn lmaooo)

ALSO G/N READER CUZ EVERYONE LOVES HIM

(Based on that one dream I had ;D )

( Btw if this is bad I'm so sorry I'll try better next time lmao)

It was quiet. Well, as quiet as it could be with two people in a room. You were laying on Jacob's chest. You could hear his heartbeat. It was fast, but calming. You also felt the way his chest rose when he breathed in, and fell when he exhaled.

All of the sudden, Jacob hums lightly.

"You asleep?" He lightly chuckles, and kisses your forehead.

"No, I'm just listening to your heart." You reply, smiling to him.

A few minutes of silence pass by, as finally Jacob speaks up.

"Top or Bottom?" He asked. Maybe as a joke, or maybe he was just curious, I wouldn't know that's going on in his head.

"Me? Oh, I'm a switch. But I've more often been Top. But I kind of wanna try to be taken care of once." You giggled, mostly to yourself.

Jacob whispers something, however it wasn't audible. And in the blink of an eye you were flipped on your back, Jacob hovering on top of you.

he looks down at you, and smirks.

"How about we switch it up a little? I could make you feel so good~"

You were surprised and flustered. He pinned you to the bed and you couldn't escape his hold. Not that you wanted too.

You nodded, feeling hot, but still shocked from the sudden placement.

"Hmm, you look so pretty darlin', but somethings missing.."

He starts to kiss your neck, leaving hickeys and love bites. You start to hum lightly. He made you feel good. You were really enjoying this.

His kisses trailed down from your neck, on your collar bone and reached your chest. He stops here, looking up at you again. "C-can I?" He starts stuttering. You nod again, biting your lip and blushing.

He continues to kiss down your chest, all the way down to your lower stomach. He lightly touches you and slowly pulls down your undergarments, making you whimper. He had been teasing you all this time, praising you for your whining and moaning. But you needed more. You felt wet and you wanted him to take care of it.

All of the sudden, he stops.

"Maybe I shouldn't get you all aroused now." He teases you. " we still need to make dinner and you have work to do and-"

You cut him off.

"Fuck Jacob! Don'tstart something you cant finish! Please- fuck I BEG you. i-i, i need you right here, please Jacob."

He just smirks. "You need me that badly, huh? You want me inside you sooo much hun?"

"Don't worry darlin'. We've only just started~" The last sentence was deeper and harsher, but you loved it.

He pulled your underwear and kissed your pelvic. Then he started to rub in between your legs. It felt so good, yet you wanted more. You moaned while his hands did the magic. A little more, and you felt your climax point. Fuck- you were gonna-

Jacob kissed you passionately, and went faster. You were almost there, and-

Jacob Wakes up with a jolt.

No. No, no, no, no, NO!

IT WAS A DREAM! FUCK.

Fuck…

He wipes the sleepy from his eyes. His sheets were wet and sticky, And his newly taken photos of you were too.

Damn, he had forgotten that he fell asleep looking at them.

It's okay, i'ts okay. He has a lot more of them. He looks around his room. Every single wall in his room was filled with Polaroids (the dates written in red ink). He also had a big corkboard, with probably all information about you. You would've never known about this. Heh, it's okay, though. It's only a matter of time before you two get together. He smirks.

*bu-Ding*

Oh, a message? Jacob stood up and checked his computer.

*YourName has accepted your friend request!*

They accepted! Perfect.

Oh my darlin'.

you and me, are really meant to be….

A/N: OMG I'm dying. Bro I'm OBSESSED over this man ;-;

I'm gonna try to post more and all that, and I might do some fanart :D

Hope you enjoyed!

(Jacob belongs to @carnivorekitty)

<333

[thehobbem]

Jane Eyre - Part II

DKZJFBDGHSJAKSJD THIS IS THE WORST MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN LITERARY HISTORY

*clears throat*

A few days ago I wrote this post about my first thoughts on Jane Eyre. Since people wanted to see my reactions to further events, here I am.

I gotta say: you were all holding out on me, because not only does Jane Eyre have a man more ridiculous than Darcy (by a CLEAR mile), but it also has a clergyman more insufferable than Edmund Bertram, which??? should not be possible???

Okay, so:

I was hoping Rochester would give up on the wedding and confess to Jane about his wife in the attic, but nope! And he would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling solicitor & brother-in-law. Like. This man is so idiotic, and felt so unbelievably sorry for himself, that he said with his full chest "yeah, bigamy is the solution! :D".

...Very uncomfortable how the narrative attributed the lowest possible vices to Bertha Rochester, while calling her "the creole". The vices weren't outright attributed to her being of mixed ancestry, but it felt like that was what was meant. All very uncomfortable. As uncomfortable as when the landed gentry wanted to visit a Romani encampment to see the Romani people (while, ofc, using the g-slur) as if they were animals in a circus? Hmmm, yeah, tough call!

(Look. I'm not gonna go around publicly denouncing books from past centuries for not being politically correct, bc that is an idiotic way to relate to literature from the past. Society was what it was, and not even the authors we admire so much were above that most of the time. But I can, and will!, look at certain things and go "wow, this aged like fucking milk". I think that's fair.)

AND THEN

Rochester, who can't possibly be thinking straight, proposes that Jane become his mistress!!!! Edward Fairfax Rochester, have you ever even MET Jane Eyre?? Do you know her but at all????

And he's like "me, me, me, what's to become of me, am I to be denied love, doesn't the world feel sorry for ME" and I nearly spit on my kindle, I was so mad XD How is this man, pushing fucking FORTY, putting on this preposterous show and leaving this 18-year-old girl to comfort him?????

(To bring up the sad sack that is Edmund Bertram again: it reminded me when Edmund wrote to Fanny: Maria has brought ruin to their name, Tom has nearly died, everyone is in distress, and he's like "But Fanny. Think of ME!!!" ugh)

But yes, honestly, Rochester's not evil, but he's so. goddamn. stupid. And draMATIC. I love him, he's a riot.

...I do not love how he kept blaming others for him marrying Bertha. Like. Sir. You were an adult and you married her of your own volition. "My father" this, and "her family didn't tell me" that, but YOU looked at her, thought she was gorgeous, and agreed to marry her. So fuck you. Hold yourself accountable, for a change. You man child.

So yeah, Jane runs away, which is totally the right decision, and without any money, which is totally the wrong decision, and ends up eating burned porridge again, and I'm like. If I had a nickel for every time Jane Eyre had to eat burned porridge while starving, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

Jane is then saved by the Rivers siblings: Mary and Diana Rivers, who are absolutely precious, and St. John Rivers, who is absolutely

UNBEARABLE OH MY GOD WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME

Me, every time St. John appeared on the page:

Hey. Charlotte? Charlotte. Was this a ploy? Did you bring St. John into the story to have us like Rochester more? Is St. John your way of going "Yeah, I know, Rochester is deranged, and what he wanted to do was morally and legally and spiritually wrong, but look at how boring righteous people can be!"? Was it? If so, it FUCKING WORKED, BRING EDWARD ROCHESTER BACK RIGHT NOW.

*rubs temples*

Also??? aekjsdzcbvsdjfsk I can't: St. John: "I found you employment." Jane: "Really? Which is it?" St. John: rambles on about the will of God or something, for entire paragraphs. Jane, who patiently waited for him to finish: "So? The job?" St. John: "Right! I don't know if you're gonna like it, but" rambles on again about the will of God or perseverance or something, for entire paragraphs. Jane: "Right. And the job?"

SIR FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE TELL US WHAT THE FUCKING JOB IS

THIS IS LIKE MR. BROCKLEHURST ALL OVER AGAIN

...Oh. Oh.

That's the point.

St. John really is Brocklehurst again, I love it: both love to talk about how Christian they are, and how it's important to lead a life of humility, etc -- the difference being, ofc, that St. John is not a hypocrite, fat capitalist pig, he's actually leading by (insufferable) example. And they both make Jane feel bad about her true self, just in opposite ways.

And St. John wants to be a missionary, because of course this insufferable man wants to be a missionary and impose his views on nice people who are just living their fucking lives. And he goes on and on about... idk, bringing light to the unenlightened and saving pagans or whatever, and it's SO pedantic, and it's SO patronizing, and it's SO... UGH.

I cannot believe Jane gave this man a quarter of her entire fortune.

AND THEN

HE MAKES THE WORST MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN THE ENTIRE ENGLISH LITERATURE

No, I have not read the entirety of English literature, but oh boy am I fully confident in my statement. This is the WORST. Like. Mr. Collins' proposal is a shining beacon of unbridled love and romance next to THIS.

Me, reading his proposal:

"Jane, you weren't made for love, you were made for labour. You were made to be a missionary's wife" QEIARKSHV\CZNB;SAEKFJSDVC I'M GONNA GOUGE MY EYES OUT WITH A SPOON

At least Jane, too, was full aware of the insult XD Love that when she told Diana of the proposal, she repeated those exact words, and Diana was like "Girl, what??? Nu-uh!!!".

But it's all great. She refuses him, and he gets all prickly and assholish about it in the most holier-than-thou way possible, I hate him, but then she hears Rochester's voice in the wind crying out for her, and she hurries back to Thornfield. Sure, we've all been there.

Then we find out karma does exist and is the proverbial bitch: Rochester lost an eye, all of his eyesight, a hand, and his manor. Wow.

And then???? They have the CUTEST reunion ever???? And I was so happy for him???? For them??? Charlotte 😭😭😭👌👌👌

Rochester being all jealous of St. John, and I'm like "no, you're safe, he's the worst, he told Jane she wasn't made for love".

He also holds himself accountable at long last (hard not to, after all that), and he thought Jane was deeeeeeaaaad, and he was inconsolable and I'm a MESS

So all is good in the end: they marry -- LEGALLY! :D -- and have a child, and he recovers his eyesight on the eye he still has, and the Rivers siblings marry and are happy, and the book ends... with a letter from St. John saying he's dying??? WHAT

I love all of it. Specially St. John dying. A few stray observations:

The foreshadowing of future events is very well-planted, nicely done, Charlotte. That horse chestnut tree being split in half by lightning after Rochester proposes marriage to Jane? 👌👌👌👌👌 If I ever saw an omen!

And Jane. So smart, so good, so compassionate, so horny on main, so witty, so brave. May God keep St. John Rivers far away from her forever and ever.

LOVE how Jane begins with an aunt (who knows her and hates her) and 3 cousins (a John who torments her trying to diminish her, and two sisters who don't care if she's alive or not) and ends up having an uncle (who doesn't know her but loves her) and 3 cousins (a John who torments her trying to "elevate" her and two sisters who love her and save her life). The story is obviously very cyclical, and I enjoyed that a lot.

Don't know if I love or hate the fact that Charlotte slapped a "St." in front of the name of the John who wants to be a missionary and is the opposite of the first John XD (Yes, I know St. John is a real name, I've seen it many times before, but it's a bit on the nose here!)

...I wonder if Miss Ingram ever found out that Rochester wanted to marry the governess. I would've paid Charlotte Brontë good money to write THAT scene.

And last but not least: Pilot is the goodest boy in the whole wide world.