#oh eddie honey good luck baby

[fruitydiaz]

devin kelly is AMAZING it’s not shannon but it is shannon her mannerisms are different but the same enough that it HURTS looking at her and hearing her voice

[runninriot]

To Love And Be Loved

written for @steddiemicrofic

january prompt: new | wc: 517 | rated M | tags: sexual content, newly established relationship, boys in love

   "I love you," Eddie says so easily and unashamed. And it's new to Steve, this outspoken form of devotion.

   "I want you," he whispers against Steve's lips, emphasising his words with a kiss that feels like he means it.

So honest, and unafraid, and real.

Eddie's love is loud; he carries his feelings on the tip of his tongue, lets them spill whenever they want to break free, doesn't care who hears, or sees, or minds.

This love is different from every other love Steve had ever known before Eddie came into his life, not with a bang but quietly. Slowly sneaking his way into Steve's heart and inevitably- into his bed.

He doesn't even know when it happened. One day they were only friends and the next they woke up in each others arms, two sets of eyes sharing unspoken secrets before their lips confessed what their hearts had already known.

And just like that, Steve wasn't just Steve anymore. Became Eddie's boyfriend, and honey, and baby – all those silly-sweet names Eddie likes to call him, which Steve gladly returns because he likes how Eddie smiles with his eyes when he calls him my love.

It's amazing, this feeling. New and exciting although sometimes confusing because Steve had to learn that with Eddie, there is never too much, or not good enough.

With him it is always everything and everything perfect, and Steve believes when Eddie says that he's the best thing that ever happened to him. Because he feels it all the same, knows that as long as he's got Eddie, he'll never be out of luck.

And while he doesn't quite know how he deserves all this happiness, he sure as hell won't question it. But instead cherishes it, and worships it, and holds on to it for as long as he can.

Loving Eddie is like loving the moon in all her glorious phases – always moving, always changing. Makes it hard to keep up sometimes, chasing new highs every day. But Eddie's love keeps him grounded even when his head is lost in the clouds. Keeps him safe and protected and cared for, always.

   "Who do you belong to? Say it, baby," Eddie demands, each word another thrust pushing him further into his core.

   "You. Oh-nly you.”

It's hard to speak, harder to focus when he's bursting with love, so full of Eddie.

Eddie, whose love is possessive and greedy and all-consuming. Leaves Steve trembling and panting when he fucks him so deep, so good, with fervid passion. With hands that know exactly how to touch him and a clever mouth that knows all these tricks to make him come undone. With a body that was made to fit Steve's like they are two parts of a whole.

Eddie, whose love is soft and hard, and goes bone-deep. Leaves an imprint on Steve’s body and mind each time they crash and fall together.

And Steve will never get tired of it, no matter how much Eddie tires him out when they explore all these new ways to love and be loved.

[mrsbarnesxxx]

Eddie Diaz x reader

Angst but fluff at the end

Where maybe the reader is married to Eddie and she asks him about if he ever wants a kid with her and he takes it the wrong way and says something like I only need Christopher and he’s enough, and the reader gets upset and walks off and maybe drives to Maddie’s and chimneys and while she’s gone he goes to their room and finds a box on the bed and he opens it to see the readers ultrasound and he immediately feels bad and goes to talk to her and happy ending.

Thank you so much for the request! I altered it only slightly (just where Eddie finds the ultrasound) but I loved this concept. I love angst with a happy ending!

It was a pretty normal day all in all. Carla was taking care of Christopher, Eddie was at the station, your boss kept sending hundreds of emails, oh and you had found out you were pregnant. Just an average day. You hadn't planned this by any means. You and Eddie had never talked about having a baby. You had been married for a year and a half, but the subject had never come up and you had never pushed it. Look how well that had gone. After staring at the stick in your hand for what felt like an eternity, you finally pushed yourself up from the floor and left the bathroom.

"Hey, Carla, are you okay if I run out? I have to go do something. It should only be about an hour." You say grabbing your keys.

"Of course, honey. Go right ahead." She says.

"Thanks, Carla. Bye bud," you say kissing Christopher on the top of his head before heading out of your and Eddie's shared house.

You didn't even know what you were doing until you were sitting in the waiting room of the local doctor's office reading a magazine.

It wasn't until one of the nurses had called your name 3 times that you seemed to realize they were calling you.

"Sorry." You apologize sheepishly standing and following her back to a room.

Sure enough, the doctor confirmed you were about 6 weeks pregnant and sent you home with a picture of the tiny baby. You knew you couldn't hide this from Eddie for long since you were likely to start experiencing more symptoms, but a part of you was worried about how he would react. Everything had finally settled down with Christopher and work. Everything was stable per se. And now you were throwing a wrench into the serenity the two of you had worked so hard to create. Finally, you decided you would broach the subject once Christopher had gone to bed. You would just ask him if he ever thought about having more kids. Yeah. That would work.

So, that night after Christopher was in bed and you and Eddie were alone in your room getting ready for bed, you took a deep breath before deciding now was a good time to approach the subject.

"Hey, Eddie?" You asked putting lotion onto your arms. "Have you ever thought about maybe having another kid?"

"What?" He asks brows furrowed as he pulls the covers down and joins you in the bed.

"Have you ever wanted another kid? I mean I love Christopher, but I was just curious." You explain, heart racing.

"Not really. I mean, I'm happy with Chris. He's a handful as it is and with him getting older, I don't know. I'm happy that the diaper changes and waking up to screaming is over." He says.

Anger surges through you at his admission. How could he say that? How could he openly admit to your face that he didn't want the baby growing inside of you...not that he knew about that, but that wasn't important.

"Were you even around for that?" You ask not thinking about what you're saying, just infuriated at him. "I mean didn't you enlist right after Shannon had Chris so didn't you pretty much luck out and miss all of those years?"

"What the hell are you saying?" He asks, confused at why you're attacking him all of a sudden.

"I just mean don't you not even know what it's like to be there for those years, so isn't that not a fair standard to measure it by?" You argue.

"What's going on with you?" He asks, turning to you, trying to contain his anger.

You scoff, "Nothing."

"Something's going on 'cause you're acting like a real bitch to me right now for no reason." He says. Instantly his face drops, realizing what he just said to you. "I-"

"Fuck you, Eddie." You say standing up and grabbing your coat. You don't listen to him as he follows after you, grabbing your keys and walking out of the house. You just get in your car and drive.

Eddie watches as you leave, slamming the door behind you. He really messed up this time. "Fuck!" He exclaims hitting the table. Your purse tips over as his fist makes contact with the table. a paper falling out. The paper catches his attention, the white clashing against the dark oak of the table. He reaches to put it back in your purse when the other side of the paper intrigues him. He turns it over to see a blob in the middle of the page. His face drops instantly, he runs his hand through his hair staring at the blob that is the reason for your outburst a few minutes earlier. He sighs texting Buck asking him to come stay with Christopher. 15 minutes later, a confused Buck shows up at Eddie's door.

"Uh...Everything alright? It's kinda late for a sleepover." He says.

"I messed up." He sighs stepping aside. After a quick explanation to Buck after letting him inside, Eddie is on his way out the door, texting everyone if you're with them. A few minutes into his search, Chimney texts back saying that you're there with Maddie and that he really messed up this time.

20 minutes later he's standing outside of Maddie's apartment, ultrasound in hand as he knocks with his free hand. Maddie answers, hands on her hips, brow raised at him, and sass written all over her face.

"I know, I know. Can I just talk to her?" He sighs. Maddie steps aside and lets him find you on the couch.

"Amor?" He asks cautiously, approaching you carefully.

"What do you want, Eddie?" You ask not looking at him.

"Can we talk?" He asks coming to sit next to you. The picture in his hand is what catches your eye. You look up at him with wide eyes, mouth slightly open. "When you asked me if I wanted more kids, you should have told me you were pregnant."

"I was trying to figure out how you would react." You explain.

"Just because it wasn't in my plan to have more kids doesn't mean I won't love this baby." He sighs.

"Well, when I broached the subject you didn't seem thrilled." You say sadly.

"Well, you started attacking me when I said I didn't want more kids." He says softly.

"I'm sorry." You say.

"Me too." He says taking my hand in his. "Come on, let's go home."

"Okay." You say taking his hand and standing with him. After saying goodbye to Maddie and Chim, you and Eddie make your way to his truck and start back home.

"So, how far along are you?" Eddie asks as we pull out of their driveway.

"6 weeks." You say quietly. He starts laughing and you look at him with amusement.

"Does that mean-" He cuts himself off with a laugh. "That we made a baby-"

"At Bobby and Athena's party, yep." You chime in laughing along with him.

He smiles taking your hand in his and kissing the top of it. Looking into his eyes, you knew that soon, everything would be back to normal and you'd have a new addition to your family.

[blazeeblake]

Unsettling

Inspired by this post. I wrote this late at night, zoning out on cold medicine while attempting to recover from a booster shot, so I can’t vouch for the quality 😅:

Dinner had been going great as far as Buck could tell. He and Tommy were still in the figuring it out stage of things, but a meal with Chim and Maddie felt like a step in the right direction; at least, up until the moment his sister unsuspectingly guided the conversation into a minefield.

“So, Tommy,” she began between bites of salad, “I have to say, I was really surprised when my brother told me about your date — not so much in terms of the pronouns of it all, but because the way he told it, you were way more focused on Eddie when you two met.”

Tommy shrugged, pushing around the remainders of his own plate, “Course correction’s a skill you hone when you’re tangling with baby gays— not that I’m sure Eddie even counts in that department. At this rate he’s essentially embryonic. Like, indefinitely.” Maddie cocked her head to the side, whatever follow up she may have had fading away into a loaded silence that descended over the room.

“H-huh,” Chimney chuckled unevenly, “well, uh, I don’t want to speak for anyone that’s not here but I’m pretty sure—“

“Wait,” Buck interrupted, brows knitting together, “You were trying to date Eddie?”

“Uh, yeah,” Tommy replied, as if it was painfully obvious, “At least, until I realized where things stood with him, and then I—

“Course corrected?” Buck finished, “With me. Your second choice.”

“Oh, like I’m not your second choice. Seriously, Evan, don’t be dramatic.”

“Maddie, honey,” Chimney broke in, rising out of his seat, “why don’t we go get dessert ready?”

“Ready?” Maddie repeated, eyes darting between her brother and his date, “It’s already—“

“What are you talking about?” Buck pressed, far too preoccupied with his burgeoning confusion to notice Chimney coaxing his quietly protesting sister out of the room.

Tommy rolled his eyes, pointedly setting his fork down, “Oh come on. Eddie’s on a special level of oblivious— and I mean, no surprise there, Catholicism builds its closets nice and sturdy— but you can’t expect me to believe you’re just as clueless, Mr. Trying to get my attention by pulling another boy’s pigtails.”

“Wha— No,” Buck sputtered, his breath hitching strangely and tripping him up, “Th-that wasn’t about Eddie. He’s not even— and even if he was, we’re not… I mean, we wouldn’t.”

“Right, because you’re scared it would burst the little bubble you two live in where you can have your cake and call it normal friendship,” Tommy concluded, his tone once again gratingly matter of fact, “Face it. A relationship with Eddie is heavy lifting from any angle, so we both opted out for each other, no harm, no foul.” Buck blinked, momentarily stunned into silence as his mind tried and failed to construct a solid counter to the conclusion Tommy had all but thrown in his face. All of it made sense, perhaps more sense than the raw foundations of yet another relationship built on someone else’s initiative and his own need to reach for any degree of being wanted, no matter how scant. The truth of it all stung and made his heart beat faster than he could stand, but at the same time there was something freeing in all that chaos.

“He’s not,” Buck managed softly.

“Gay?” Tommy replied, “Right, and Elton John just needs to meet the right girl.”

Buck shook his head, “No, I mean, he’s not heavy lifting or whatever you said. If you think that, you don’t know him at all— a-and maybe you don’t know me either if you think I’d feel that way.”

“Ev—“

“It’s Buck. And if all of this was settling then I guess you were right the first time: I’m not ready.” Tommy eyed him for a beat before sighing and pushing his chair back from the table.

“At least you’re consistent,” he said as he stood and began making his way to the front door, “A little slow on the draw but still miles more self aware than your buddy. I’d say good luck pulling him out of Narnia, but I’m not gonna hold my breath.” Buck didn’t respond, instead opting to drop his gaze to the floor and let his racing thoughts drown out his surroundings until he felt a hand on his shoulder.

“I’m guessing you heard all that?” He asked.

“Sorry,” Maddie said, giving his arm a gentle squeeze, “The acoustics down here are pretty unforgiving, privacy-wise.

“Sorry I ruined dinner,” he muttered.

“Technically,” Maddie reasoned, “I started it, so—-“

“I vote we blame no Buckley or Hans ,” Chimney said, dropping into the seat Tommy had vacated, “and we call this a win because screw that guy. I’m all for second chances but that dude’s practically on his fourth and he just keeps blowing it.”

“What am i supposed to do now?” Buck asked, turning to look up at his sister.

Maddie offered him a small, tight-lipped smile, “it’s like I said before: whatever you need to do, you’ll do it in your own time.”

“Right, but what if I screw it all up? He’s going through so much right now already and I don’t want to be one more thing he has to deal with.”

“I mean, maybe him going through things is the silver lining, you know? He’s figuring out his future and there’s room for you to work out where—not if— you fit in all of that. Because, for what it’s worth, I can’t picture a scenario where you two don’t figure it out. I can’t promise it’ll go the way you want it to, but I think you owe it to each other to talk.”

Chimney nodded, “As a daily witness to you guys being… well, you, I second that. And who knows? Maybe it all does work out. You communicate instead of fighting in a supermarket or shoving each other on a basketball court, and before you know it, you’re up close and personal with that glorious mustache of his.”

“Oh, Howie,” Maddie scoffed, “that mustache is definitely just a phase. One that maybe proves my point, but a phase nonetheless.”

“You bite your tongue. It’s beautiful and here to stay.”

“Oh, I’m sorry. Is there something you need to tell Eddie? Or, his facial hair?”

For the second time that evening, Buck let the conversation fade into the background of his thoughts; or rather, the one thought that all the rest had melded into.

He loved Eddie—was in love with Eddie— and as terrifying as it was, the truth of it loomed too large to be reburied or ignored. He didn’t know if time and talking were the remedies his family made them out to be, but if there was any chance at all in them, he was stubborn enough to find out. The way he saw it, he’d practically been holding his breath all this time without knowing anyway, so what was a little while longer if it meant Eddie at the finish line? Unlike a certain helicopter pilot, Buck had the stamina not to settle.

[jamdoughnutmagician]

New Year's Eve Kisses.

Steve Harrington x Reader (Fluff)

Just a short and fluffy NYE drabble with Steve, heavily based on this scene from Friends

Posting this a little early but whatever 🤷‍♀️

Word Count:668

Masterlist / Steve Harrington Masterlist.

The party is in full swing with everyone gathered in Steve’s house for a new year’s eve celebration. There’s banners, decorations and food and drink aplenty as all the party-goers stand around chatting in their groups.

“Yes! ‘87 baby! It’s finally going to be my year, Harrington. I can feel it!” Eddie beams brightly, his wide smile stretching across his face.

“Good luck, man.” Steve cheered back, clapping a hand on his shoulder. 

“We’re both happy for you, Ed.” you smile at your friend, although you wish you could share his enthusiasm about the new year drawing to a close.

You and Steve had been only dating for a few months, and Eddie was the only one who knew about you two. An unfortunate moment where he accidentally caught you both making out in a dark corner in The Hideout one time. Truth be told, Eddie didn’t think too much about it until he saw you leave the bar hand-in-hand with a matching pair of smiles on either of your faces.

Eddie noticed how your smile didn’t fully reach your eyes, and a worry set it’s place in his chest.

“Hey, what’s the matter?”  

“We wanted to kiss at midnight, but nobody else is going to, so we can’t either.” you explain with a sad tone in your voice.

“Don’t worry about that, sweetheart.” Eddie says with a nod. “Just let your old pal Eddie sort it all out.” he tells you all too confidently. 

Eddie makes his way over to Robin where she is already enthusiastically beginning to countdown the seconds until midnight.

“33! 32! 31-” 

“-Hey Rob-” Eddie interrupts. “Who are you kissing at midnight, huh? Chrissy or Nancy?”

“What?” she replies in confusion.

“You gotta kiss somebody. You’re gay, so you’re not gonna kiss Steve.” Eddie explains further.

“So who’s going to kiss Steve?” 

“Y/N is.”

“Really?” She smirks, cocking her head to the side.

“Look, who would you rather have kiss Steve, me or y/n Eddie says with a quirked eyebrow.

“Oh definitely Y/n.” she decides all too quickly. “I suppose I’ll kiss Chrissy.”

“That’s great!” he smiles at her, with a pat on her shoulder before moving his way around the party.

“Hey Chrissy!” Eddie shouts over to her above the music. “Robin’s going to kiss you at midnight!”

“Oh okay! Sounds good!” her cheeks flush pink at the idea of kissing that cute girl from the school’s band that she’d had a secret crush on for a while.

“Nance! Nance!” Eddie shouts, getting her attention as he makes his way towards her. “I’m going to kiss you at midnight, okay?”

“What?” she shakes her head, her dark curls bouncing as she does.

“Everybody’s kissing someone, so I’m going to kiss you. Plus you can’t kiss Steve, you two have that whole weird history going on.”

“And?” she shakes her head once more, as if she wasn’t quite following what Eddie was putting forward.

“Besides, Jonathan’s not here, so who would you rather have kiss you, me or Robin?”  Eddie asks, with a confident nod of his head.

“Robin’s lovely, but I just don’t swing that way.” She confesses.

“Great.” Eddie smiles.

The countdown to midnight draws closer and closer as everyone gathers by the television in Steve’s living room.

“3! 2! 1! Happy New Year!!” Everyone cheers, as they hug and peck the lips of their respective New years eve partners.

You wind your arms around Steve’s neck to bring him closer as his hands find their home on your hips, giving you a gentle and reassuring squeeze.

 Steve leans in close to you, his lips softly brushing against yours in a sweet kiss. 

“Happy New Year, Honey.”

“Happy New Year, Stevie.” you smile back at him, your eyes sparkling with love for the boy in front of you.

You couldn’t be more happy to have your Stevie in your life, and sharing a kiss with him at midnight was the perfect way to ring in the new year.

@itsfreakingbats @penguinsandpotterheads @xxhellfirebunnyxx @onegirlmanytales @reidsbtch @willowsgrl @mrsjellymunson

[infinite-orangepeel]

Either trans Eddie or Steve, making the other kneel in front of the couch with their mouth wide open. Whoever you pick to have a pussy just going crazy rubbing their g spot and pulling their dick so they just keep DRENCHING the other with their squirt.

oh i love this one !! thank you for submitting it 🥰 hope you enjoy the read :)

this ficlet includes: mommy steve, transmasc steve (cock, dick, pussy, clit used interchangeably), pet play, desperate af puppy!eddie, masturbation, overstimulation, degradation, cock caging, orgasm denial

eddie hates when steve rides one of his many dildos instead of him.

hates it because that should be him making steve’s pussy creamy with arousal.

that should be him stretching steve’s hole open while stroking his perfect swollen dick between two aptly applied fingers

that should be him flicking steve’s overly sensitive nipples with the cool kiss of his new tongue piercing.

but eddie’s in trouble today.

eddie’s in big trouble so he’s been demoted to kneeling on the loveless floor.

bruises forming on his knees as he gazes up at his love in all his horny glory. forbidden to touch.

steve’s perched on the couch.

he’s thrusting a lavender colored dildo in and out of his pretty pink pussy. legs spread wide to take the toy deeper—it doesn’t help that it’s exactly the position he would be in if eddie was fucking him stupid on his cock.

and eddie’s so far gone into the hazy land of subspace that he doesn’t even realize how loudly he’s whining until steve yanks on the studded leash he’s holding in his free hand.

‘quiet puppy. mommy’s doing something important. you don’t want to distract mommy do you?’ steve’s tone is patronizing and that only makes everything worse for eddie.

he wags his ass back and forth where he’s seated on the floor.

arches his back to show off the fluffy black tail plug steve bought for his birthday last week. there’s a set of matching ears attached to his curls.

‘sorry mommy. i’ll do better mommy. didn’t mean to distract you.’

steve pounds his pussy harder with the silicone and the resulting squelch is enough to make eddie drool. a line of saliva drips down onto his trapped dick and the sensation makes him shake.

‘aw pup. you’re so cock dumb for me and i haven’t even touched you. are you jealous, baby?’ steve condescends and eddie watches through eyes green with envy as steve clenches up around his toy and moans delightedly, ‘so sad you’re gonna miss the opportunity to breed mommy today but that’s what happens when you misbehave and cum without mommy���s permission. you don’t get to fill up mommy’s belly today.’

eddie squirms, feels the cage grow tighter around his purpling erection. his tail brushes against the back of his balls and he practically falls over. ‘wanna suck mommy’s cock,’ eddie tests his luck by crawling closer to steve on the couch, ‘wanna be a good puppy and let mommy squirt down my throat.’

steve perks up at that and looks deep in thought as he removes the dripping dildo and rubs it through his well slicked folds. his cock jumps in pleasure as he taps the toy onto it and shivers indulgently. slick fluid seeps from his overused hole and his pussy is so fucking puffy it physically pains eddie to not have his face buried in it.

‘you wanna suck me off, baby boy?’ steve asks sweetly and if eddie had a single coherent thought left in his mind, he might recognize the glint of mischief in steve’s honey brown eyes.

‘yes, mommy. more than anything.’

‘close your eyes for me, then. i’ll guide you to my cock, sweet thing,’ steve coos, bending forward to stroke eddie’s jaw.

without thinking for a second, eddie complies and parts his lips anticipating steve’s sweet drenched cock on his tongue.

but of course that’s not what happens.

eddie feels something heavy push past his bitten lips and it’s confusing because his taste buds receive the ambrosial taste of steve’s cum but his mouth is far too full and obstructed to be actually taking steve’s cock.

he gags. chokes. slurps around the slippery silicone and whimpers pathetically because that’s not what he wanted.

‘open your eyes and look at me,’ steve orders and when eddie does blink them open he pays witness to steve harrington experiencing pure ecstasy.

steve is jamming the dildo down eddie’s throat. fucking his fist into eddie’s mouth along with it. and between his soaked thighs are his fingers. rapidly jerking his throbbing dick and bucking his hips to meet his hand.

‘ohh there’s mommy’s boy. there he is. needy little slut—you’ll take anything mommy gives you as long as it tastes like mommy’s pussy. dumb puppy can’t tell the difference.’eddie does his best to nod around the bulge in his throat.

‘i’m gonna let you breathe but i want you to keep your tongue out for me. can you do that, puppy?’ steve takes the dildo out of eddie’s mouth and tosses it to the side.

eddie gasps for air. sucks in as much oxygen as he lungs will allow and obediently holds out his tongue as steve’s requested knowing he’s about to get rewarded. he feels giddy. he giggles and wags excitedly despite the ache of his untouched dick.

stripping his cock, steve’s legs tremble and eddie feels his collar tighten up around his neck as steve uses it to hold on through the pleasurable shock of orgasm.

‘fuck, baby. you look so pathetic like that. g-gonna squirt all over your pouty little face,’ steve groans as he cums—drenching eddie’s awaiting tongue in filthy release.

‘now get up here and clean me up puppy.’

and a few minutes later, eddie makes steve cum again just like that. feeling like the luckiest puppy in the world.

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[harrywavycurly]

Hello can we just get some conversations between Eddie and Southern Belle? Maybe one where someone was mean to him and she protects him

Hiii babes!! Ohh yes you can get some conversations that include a protective Belle! I hope you enjoy💖

-find all things Eddie and his Southern Belle here✨

*Eddie doesn’t think you need to say anything but that’s where he’s wrong because no one talks to your sugar plum like that*

“Baby you don’t have to say anything.” “Yes I do…she called you a weirdo and that is just not gonna fly with me sugar plum.” “Sweethea-” “oh I’m so mad I could spit…who does she think she is talkin to you like that? It’s just beyond rude.” “Baby it’s okay we can just go have lunch somewhere else.” “I’ll be damned if she’s gonna get away with being mean to you Edward…now be a sweetie and hush while I tell her where she can shove her weirdo remark.” “Baby-” “Hi sugar…oh…Amy is it? Well you made quite a rude little snide comment about my boyfriend when we walked in so I’d like you to say you’re sorry.” “Excuse me?” “Bless your heart you mustn’t have heard me…tell my boyfriend sorry…now if you don’t mind.” “Uh…sorry?” “Now honey I know you can do better than that.” “Here we go…come on baby she said sorry let’s just go eat.” “Yeah I’d listen to your little boyfriend…go enjoy your meal…sugar.” “Oh fuck…” “what the actual fuck did you just say to me?…hold my purse honey bunch.” “This isn’t gonna go well…”

“What is the fresh hell is goin on in here? Why does my livin room look like a crime scene in a craft store?” “Sorry baby I got a little carried away with the campaign…I’ll clean it don’t worry.” “Oh I’m not worried sugar….but why is the coffee table all cattywampus?” “Catty what?” “Oh lord honey you ain’t never heard of cattywampus? It just means crooked.” “Oh..who the hell came up with that instead of just saying crooked?” “Edward James what the hell did you do to my kitchen?” “Oh shit I forgot to clean from lunch…don’t worry it’ll all be cleaned up by the time you get out of the shower.” “Oh honey bunches you’re bout to be busier than a cat on a hot tin roof cleanin this mess up.” “Busier than a what on a roof?” “I don’t have the energy for this sugar…I’m gonna go stand under some hot water and cool down.” “Baby that-” “tell me that doesn’t make sense and I will throw this frying pan at the back of your pretty little head.” “Sorry sweetheart…I love you go enjoy your shower.” “I love you too puddin…good luck fixin all this.”

“This looks horrible…” “we just need to church it up a bit that’s all.” “Church it up?” “Yeah…you know..make it pretty.” “How are we going to make a casserole pretty?” “Aren’t you just so precious sugar plum…don’t worry you’re little head about it.” “You’re just going to cover it in cheese aren’t you?” “And if I am? What’s it to you?” “Nothing…that will…make it prettier that’s for sure.” “Are you bein ugly to me right now? In my own kitchen?” “I’d never…” “that’s what I thought…” “I’ll just go wait in the living room.” “That sounds like a great idea honey.”

“I’m jus sayin…she could start an argument in an empty house…but you gotta love her.” “I mean we…don’t have to.” “Edward James…” “I’m just saying she argues with you about everything…why do we have to hang out with her?” “Because she’s one of my dear friends and just because she likes to argue and poke fun doesn’t mean we just abandon her…that would be like if you stopped hangin out with Dustin because he was a little annoying.” “Your friend being rude isn’t anything like Dustin being a little annoying….” “Whatever you say sugar just…promise you’ll be nice?” “I promise…”