#oh christopher you live such a life

[mattbegins]

They are literally raising a child together

[hotshotsxyz]

where else but here, who else but us?

(8x06 coda) (buddie) (986 words)

Eddie wakes to the smell of bacon frying and coffee brewing, and for the first time in maybe his entire life, he lets himself luxuriate in it. If he’d actually made it to bed last night, he might even go back to sleep.

He stands and stretches, then shivers a little bit as the cool morning air tickles his bare thighs. Eddie grins. He just—

He did something for himself, and the world didn’t end. He did something for himself, and not only did the world not end, it got a little bit bigger and a little bit brighter. He did something for himself and Buck showed up, and that joy he was feeling burned a little bit hotter.

Eddie scoops his phone up off the floor and finds that it’s completely out of juice. He huffs a soft laugh and plugs it in. It’s a silly thought, but—Eddie can’t remember the last time his phone died. How could it, when he’s been so damn determined to avoid anything that might bring him a little joy. Hell, he hasn’t even been letting himself text Buck unless Buck texts him first.

He pads down the hall and into his bedroom and pulls on the softest pair of sweats he owns. He changes into an old, threadbare t-shirt, leans against the wall and exhales.

In his kitchen, Buck is making breakfast. In Texas, Christopher is safe and probably still asleep, and that’s a whole lot more than Eddie’s been letting himself acknowledge.  Here in LA, Eddie is alive and healthy and, if the priest that was maybe hitting on him is to be believed, allowed to forgive himself. He’s not there yet, but he can let himself join Buck in the kitchen.

On his way, Eddie makes a pit stop in the living room. His phone, up to an impressive 8% battery, has already reconnected to the Bluetooth speaker that’s tucked behind one of the photos on the mantle. He queues up a playlist that he and Buck have been curating together for years. Soft music fills the room and Eddie kind of wants to cry.

This is what he’s been denying himself. Easy mornings and raucous evenings and his best friend filling all the empty spaces he’s always been too afraid to try to fill himself. Eddie walks into the kitchen and finds Buck already looking for him.

“Morning,” Buck says, a little rough, like it’s the first word he’s said today. It probably is.

“Hey,” Eddie replies. He steps into Buck’s space and pulls him into a hug, just because he wants to. He feels Buck exhale and melt into him. “You okay?” he asks softly.

Buck pulls back from Eddie’s embrace and bites his lip. “I, uh—honestly?”

Eddie nods.

“I don’t really know,” Buck admits. “I think I just—or, I thought—I don’t know.” He lets out a frustrated huff.  

Eddie slides his hand down Buck’s arm until his fingers are circling Buck’s wrist. “You don’t have to,” he offers.

Buck’s head tips to the side. “You seem different,” he observes quietly.

“I am, I think,” Eddie says.

“What does that mean?” Buck asks

Eddie considers for a moment. “I think I’m just… ready to let some things go,” he says. “Maybe let some new things in.”

Buck smiles, small but genuine. “That’s—I’m glad.”

“Me too.” It’s incredible, but Eddie’s pretty sure he actually means it.

Buck’s gaze slides away from Eddie and hits the floor. “I, um. Me and Tommy. We—or, he—he broke up with me,” he says.

Something clenches in Eddie’s chest. “Then he’s an idiot,” he says.

“Maybe,” Buck says with a kind of hopeless shrug.

“He is,” Eddie says with conviction. “You’re—“ Sunshine. Joy. Perfect. Everything. He lets go of Buck’s wrist and twists their fingers together. “You’re the best person I know,” he says. “If Tommy couldn’t see that, that’s on him.”

Buck blows a disbelieving breath out through his nose. “He said I was going to break his heart.”

“Getting his heart broken by you would be a privilege,” Eddie replies before he can think better of it.

Buck lets out a pained noise. “But I wouldn’t—or, I didn’t want—” He cuts himself off with a frown. He looks up through his lashes and Eddie and Eddie—

Oh, Eddie wants.

“Anyone who’s lucky enough to be loved by you, even for a second, should know it’d be worth it,” he says.

“Eds,” Buck breathes.

“I mean it,” Eddie says, squeezing his hand. “And if you don’t, I’ll believe it enough for both of us.”

Buck laughs wetly. “You make it hard for a guy to wallow in a breakup, you know that?”

Eddie grins. “Good.” He steps back, tugging Buck’s wrist as he goes. “Come here,” he says, and Buck follows easily.

The coffee and bacon are quickly cooling on the counter, but there’s music in the air and Buck’s in his arms and Eddie’s pretty sure he wants to kiss his best friend. And he thinks that might even be a good thing.

“Eddie, what?” Buck asks breathlessly as Eddie puts a hand on his waist and spins them both.

“We’re dancing,” Eddie says, smiling.

“O-okay,” Buck says, clumsily following his lead.

Eddie can’t help the laugh that bubbles from his chest. A small grin spreads across Buck’s face.

“Maybe I would have,” Buck murmurs quietly.

“What?” Eddie asks, spinning him again, just because he can.

“Broken his heart.”

Warmth spreads from Eddie’s chest to his fingertips. “Yeah?” he asks breathlessly.

Buck hums but doesn’t clarify further. Eddie, though, Eddie’s pretty sure he gets it.

He and Buck—well. It’s hard to imagine a world where they don’t choose each other, over and over and over again. It’s them. How could they ever end up anywhere but here?

Eddie wants. He tightens his grip on Buck and keeps dancing.

[littlespoonevan]

i'll keep it all to myself

7x04 coda (she's back, baby xoxo)

-

“Hey, killer.”

Buck winces, mouth already tripping over an apology as he moves into the Diaz living room. “Eddie, I’m so sorry-“

“Buck, I’m kidding,” Eddie interrupts, exasperated and just a little fond. He hasn’t been on the receiving end of that tone in a few days. It’s embarrassing to say he missed it. “Sit down.”

Buck takes the armchair instead of sitting on the couch next to Eddie. He’s not sure why. He never sits in the armchair. Sitting in it now he almost feels…off balance. But then catching sight of Eddie’s foot propped up on the coffee table sobers him immediately and he forgets all about the strange discomfort in his stomach.

Reaching for the cushion behind him, he gets up again. “You should have something under that,” he says, gently lifting Eddie’s leg to place the cushion on the table. He lowers it again carefully, nodding in satisfaction when Eddie’s foot is nestled safely in the cushion. “The table is too hard.”

“Oh sorry, I thought I was the one with real medical training,” Eddie quips but there’s no bite behind the words.

“Yeah but I’m the one with crush injury experience,” Buck says, kicking his own legs up on the table in proof.

Eddie opens his mouth as if to argue back but then closes it again, rolling his eyes, but his lips twitch a bit. Just at the corners.

“Eddie, I really am sorry,” he says, straightening in his seat and forcing himself to meet Eddie’s gaze properly. “I don’t know what I was thinking. I just got so-“

“I know,” Eddie replies, quiet and careful and devoid of any of his earlier teasing. “But you know you can talk to me, right? Like, it’s me Buck. You can just tell me when something’s wrong.”

Buck does know that. He knows he can tell Eddie everything. Anything. The bad and the good.

Which means he should be able to clear this up right away, right? He should just be able to say, ‘Hey, I was apparently working through some latent feelings I never knew I had. And I took that out on you. But guess what! I like Tommy and he likes me back and we have a date Saturday!’

But thinking about telling Eddie that Tommy kissed him makes his chest constrict in a way that he doesn’t expect. So he tucks it up in a neat little box in the corner of his mind for now and focuses on making sure Eddie’s okay. Because he can do that. He knows how to do that.

“I’m an idiot,” he says. “And if you want I will totally give you one free punch so we’re even.”

Eddie huffs a quiet laugh. “I could never hit you.”

“Should I go get Christopher’s Legos instead and step on them with my shoes off?”

Eddie lets out a real laugh then, the kind that makes his eyes close and his head fall back against the couch cushion, and Buck feels so much affection for him well up inside him he’s almost breathless with it.

“You’re an idiot,” Eddie tells him. “And a martyr. Seriously, Buck, I don’t care. I just want to make sure you and I are okay.”

“Of course we are,” Buck says, without actually stopping to interrogate if that’s true or not.

They are, he thinks. The fact that something absolutely life altering happened to him an hour ago and he somehow can’t make himself tell Eddie about it is…inconsequential.

He’s just hedging his bets. Not trying to get ahead of himself before he has yet another failed romance.

“In that case, can you go to the fridge and get us some beers?” Eddie asks, pulling Buck back to reality.

“You shouldn’t be drinking,” Buck says, even as he stands. Maybe they can split a beer. Half a bottle shouldn’t hurt. “Tommy says you’re on pain meds.”

“Oh, so you guys talked?”

Eddie says it unassumingly and when Buck freezes at the dining table and looks over his shoulder he finds that Eddie isn’t even looking at him. He’s leaning forward on the couch, adjusting his leg, but when Buck takes too long to answer he raises his head and gives him an expectant look.

“Yeah,” Buck murmurs, the phantom rasp of Tommy’s stubble against his mouth still tingling and making him want to reach up and touch his lips. That would give too much away though. “We talked.”

Eddie smiles, nodding his approval. “Good. Maybe all three of us can actually hang out together now.”

The thought immediately makes Buck’s stomach swoop with something unnameable but he doesn’t let it show on his face.

“Sure,” he breathes. “Sounds great.”

[bekolxeram]

Everyone decides to be sad about Tommy spending the holidays alone today. I just want to say, I hate you all. Especially @mmso-notlikethat with this post. As payback for making me cry my way into insomnia, I wrote this on my phone instead of sleeping.

By the time he knocks on the door, Tommy still has no idea what to expect. “Wear something nice, we’re celebrating tonight,” that’s the only instruction he’s received from Evan, his boyfriend once again. Tommy can’t help but smile at the mere thought of finally allowing himself to say that name.

He has a burgundy dress shirt on with a pair of light grey slim fit pants. Simple, but elegant, hopefully properly dressed for this undisclosed commemoration. March is not known for its holidays, so what’s the occasion that calls for such festivity? They did meet last March at the cruise ship rescue, maybe that was it? Or perhaps Evan is having some sort of career advancement? They’ve been back together for just a few weeks, there’s simply not enough time for Tommy to catch up on Evan’s ever so eventful life. To that, Tommy silently mourn the time they’ve lost, due to his own cowardice.

“Hey — Hey,” Evan takes a step outside of the door to greet Tommy with a quick peck on the lips. Tommy lets the younger man drag him into the loft without much reaction, because he’s still confused by the sight in front of him: Evan in his usual navy blue button up, dark jeans and… a Christmas hat?

Inside the loft is a jumble of sparkly festive decorations. To his left, he sees “Happy Birthday Tommy”; to his right, “Merry Christmas”; and deeper into the living space, “Happy New Year”.

“Jee and Mara helped setting these up,” Evan says while taking half of a roast turkey out of the oven. “This one is from Bobby. He said half a bird is enough for the two of us, if we don’t want to suffer through leftover for the next 7 days.” He then sets the tray next to some roasted vegetables and a casserole. “The casserole is from Chimney, but I’m pretty sure it’s Maddie’s recipe. Hen got you a cake. I think she said something about being sure you would like it. We can have it for dessert. Oh, and the champagne is from…”

“Eddie, because he can’t cook.” Tommy cuts in.

“Exactly!”

“Evan, what’s going on here?”

Evan steps closer, taking both of Tommy’s hands into his own, “You told me the other day that you spent your 40th birthday alone… I only realized later that you were probably on your own for the entire holiday season, Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year, Valentine’s Day. I know it doesn’t come close to the real thing, but I was thinking maybe we could make up for a few key moments that we missed.” He dims the lights in the loft with a remote control and fiddles with something on the dining table. Suddenly, the whole room is lit up with colorful patterns and twinkling stars. “I couldn’t get any firework around here, so I borrowed this star projector from Christopher.”

“Oh… Evan,” Tommy sighs, eyes already hazy with tears.

“I’m not asking you to move in with me or to make major commitments. I’m not asking for anything in return at all. This is… a promise, from me to you. No matter what happens, what becomes of us in the future, I’ll be there when you need me, we all will.”

Evan says earnestly, with utmost conviction in his tone. The clarity in his eyes reminds Tommy of that day at the café terrace, almost a year ago. “I just want you to know, Tommy, you’re no longer alone.”

A few drops of tears escape Tommy’s eyes, but before he can respond, Evan pulls out a mistletoe from his pocket and dangles it over their heads.

“You have to kiss me now.” Evan says with a cheeky grin. Tommy waits no time to capture those smiling lips with his own, kissing him with all the love and gratitude in his heart.

“I love you, Evan. I’m so lucky to have you.” Tommy pulls him into a warm embrace.

“I love you too.” Now it’s Evan’s turn to tear up.

Tommy pulls back a little and asks, “hey, would you mind if we celebrate Valentine’s Day first?”

“Oh, you mean you’re interested in the Valentine’s Night activity?”

“Depends on what you have in mind.”

“Come upstairs. I’ll show you.”

[6ix9inewiturmom]

Secretly crushing- Matt and Chris Sturniolo

Summary: You and chris are dating, matt has secretly liked you, you secretly like matt, and chris asks you about it, you try your best to deny it, but chris can see right through you and lets you have one little night with matt ;)

Warnings: Angst, Smut, oral (fem receiving), candaulesism (watching people have sex in front of you: i think this is the correct term) p in v, unprotected sex, degrading, threesome ish?, picture taking, praising, cream pie, Dom!matt!Dom!chris!Sub!reader, use of Y/N, squirting, multiple orgasms, begging, “sir” kink, picture taking, OVERALL FILTHY AS FUCK

A/N: I HAD SM FUN WRITING THIS!! this is my first attempt at writing something like this!! be kind pls

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

The triplets and I have been friends since about 8th grade, I met Matt in science class, then met the other two, and became inseparable. were all 20 now, living in LA together. about a year ago Chris and I started dating. It has been absolutely amazing, we go out once a week on a date night, and he always puts me first, and the sex? oh, that's heavenly. I've always been closer to Matt rather than Chris, but I can't deny that I've always had a thing for Matt and Chris, when the boys and I hit high school, I could never pick between the two of them. all of my friends would always tell me 'If you had to pick between Matt and Chris who would you pick?' I could never answer that because deep down, I wanted them both, but I was happily with Chris.

Today the Triplets invited me to do a blind deaf and mute challenge for their channel, except because there was 4 of us one of us would have to be blind and deaf.

“MATT I WANNA BE BLIND” chris exclaimed

“Okay to solve this issue, i’ll be blind and deaf, chris can be blind, matt you can be mute, and nick can be deaf, is that okay?” i say standing in the middle of matt and chris as they argue about who’s who.

“i mean i have no issue being any of them” nick throws his hands up in defense.

“alright that works for me” chris shrugs his shoulders and smiles at me.

the fans knew about mine and chris’ relationship because chris and i was accidentally spotted on nicks live stream cuddling and kissing on the couch while he was on instagram doing a Space Camp promo, it was a rough adjustment, i was getting a lot of hate, but after a couple months people just kind of accepted it.

“So since we all got our parts we’re gonna get ready to bake cupcakes” nick explained to the camera.

i grabbed my Airpods Max’s and a bandana.

“i’m suprised you didn’t grab that cute silk blindfold you’ve made me keep in my underwear drawer” chris says behind me helping me put the bandana over my eyes.

“CHRISTOPHER” i use my hand and slap his arm.

i put my airpods on and start blasting my music. nick and i are jumping around singing the same song as our spotify’s we’re linked so we could listen together.

“NEVER HAD A BITCH LIKE ME IN YA LIFE” nick and i said in unison

“OKAY IS EVERYONE READY” i say screaming as i can’t hear or see shit hoping someone can guide me in the right direction of what the hell to do.

“she obviously can’t hear how loud she is” chris says in attempt to look at the camera but looking in the complete opposite direction of the camera.

i feel a pair of hands touch my shoulders and guide me through the kitchen because apparently i was standing out of frame. i assumed it was Chris, though chris never has this firm of a grip on my shoulders.

“THANK YOU BABY” i scream looking upwards trying to thank chris for helping me.

“what’d i do” chris looks around in confusion

“OH MY GOD NICK I LOVE THIS FUCKING SONGGGGG” i lean over and start shaking my ass thinking it’s chris “THROW SOME MO” not realizing it’s matt, he gets wide eyed, and his cheeks brighten up with a light shade of pink, but in his favor you can’t see it because his bandana is covering his cheeks. i feel someone grab and yank me away

“Y/N WATCH WHERE YOUR SHAKING YOUR ASS” nick screams holding my shoulders

“WHAT” i scream back

“YES Y/N” nick yells back at me, not being able to hear what i said

“OKAY CHRIS GRAB THE EGGS” Nick screams across the kitchen and i accidentally walk out of frame again, and the second i walk out of frame i feel the same grip on my waist this time guiding me back into frame. “IM SORRY CHRIS” i scream up at who i think is chris.

“MATT WHY DOES Y/N KEEP YELLING STUFF AT ME” chris says trying to ask matt for help “and where are they eggs” he walks around in practical circles

matt rolls his eyes and he walks to the refrigerator and grabs the carton of eggs for Chris and hands them to him.

“OKAY CHRIS OPEN THE EGGS AND CRACK THEM” nick tells right in chris’ ear

“HEY JACKASS I CAN HEAR YOU, YOU DONT GOT TO START YELLING WITH YA MOUTH” chris yells towards nick.

matt pushes chris out of the way and starts trying to tell nick to be quiet because of how close their neighbors are, me being blind and deaf i’m just chilling and dancing around to the songs that are playing.

“I WANNA HELP” i try to find my way to the kitchen island by holding my hands out infront of me making my way over to where the ingredients are.

matt is pointing at me and doing mixing motions with his hands trying to get nick to tell chris that i wanna help.

“WHAT ABOUT Y/N MATT” nick frustratingly yells. “OH OH CHRIS YOUR GIRLFRIEND WANTS TO HELP” he continues

“here Y/N” chris attempts to hand me the whisk and accidentally hands me the whisk with the dirty side facing me, i grab the whisk from the top.

“EW YOU HANDED ME THIS SHIT WITH THE EGG ALL OVER IT” i yell.

“OKAY Y/N I LOVE YOU BUT SHUT THE FUCK UP” chris yells back at me.

i grab the whisk and start mixing the eggs together at the best of my blind ability’s.

“okay matt’s telling at me to lower my tone so chris try to get Y/N to put a 1/2 cup of oil in the pan” nicks voice softens.

i drop the whisk in the bowl “I GIVE UP THIS SHIT IS NASTY” in my attempt to walk to the paper towels i walk over and almost hit the fridge but matt grabs my hips and leads me to the paper towel and hands me one. but again, being blind and deaf i had no earthly sense of who it was grabbing my hips.

“CHRIS STOP STOP” nick slapping chris’ arm to get him to stop pouring the oil into the bowl.

“OKAY NOW CUT OR RIP THE BAG OPEN AND POUR THE BAG INTO THE BOWL” nick screams again in Chris’ ear

“YOU THINK YOU THE SHIT?” i start yelling “YOU NOT EVEN THE FART” i continue singing along to the ice spice song blasting in my headphones, obviously in my own world, i start dancing around in the kitchen

“YES Y/N YOURE EATING THIS SHIT UP” nick exclaimed hyping me up “OH SHIT CHRIS STOP MIXING SO HARD WAIT LET Y/N DO IT” nick yells again grabbing the whisk and walking towards me and leading me to the bowl. i place the whisk into the bowl carefully and start mixing how i normally would and i feel matt (assuming its nick this time) grab my hand and slow my movements down.

“OKAY ITS MIXED UP NOW” nick once again yelling “NOW MATT IS GONNA POUR IT BECAUSE I DONT TRUST YOU GUYS TO POUR IT IN THE CUPCAKE SHEET” yelling in chris’ ear he throws his hands in the air.

“matt swear im gonna kill em, keeps yelling in my ear like a fucking animal” chris looks around at this point just talking to himself.

“OKAY WERE GONNA TAKE OUR STUFF OFF AND PUT THESE IN THE OVEN AND WELL BE BACK” nick yells before taking off his headphones, and tapping me letting me know to take off my headphones and bandana.

“nick you gotta stop yelling, you too Y/N” looking at me smiling

“i can’t hear or see, i was in my own world half the time” i say smiling back at him

“okay it says they gotta cook for 25 minutes” matt says reading the box to nick.

as the cupcakes are cooking we’re all in the kitchen cleaning it up from the mess we all made laughing at shit we did without realizing it, talking about how bad these cupcakes could turn out.

Chris pulls the cupcakes out of the oven and places them on the stove and we’re all looking at them admitting they look a little weird but still edible.

“okay we didn’t do HORRIBLE” chris admitted to the camera.

“i mean we definitely could have absolutely fucked these up so badly” i say laughing softly.

“WELL anyways that’s it for today’s wednesdays video! i hope you guys enjoyed it and we’ll see you guys on friday!” nick says before walking over and clicking the red button and ended the recording.

“so who’s editing, cause i don’t feel like it” nick comes back around to the kitchen island.

“yeah no i’m good, last time i edited i saw clips on tiktok over the poor editing i did” matt laughed

“i will” chris groans and walks to the camera grabs the SD card

“come on Y/N, i can go edit this and you can watch Gossip girl for the 50th time” chris smiled gabbing my hand and leading me to his bedroom.

“Y/N YOURE SO REAL FOR REWATCHING THAT” nick yells from downstairs causing me to giggle softly.

“okay ma, just lay down i got the rest” chris says in a soft loving tone with a smile on his face

as i lay down i turn on the tv to gossip girl and just lay down in the comfort of Chris’ room as he sits and gets on the laptop on his desk and begins to rewatch and edit the video with the occasional laughter.

“Y/N what the fuck is this” chris’ voice goes cold almost.

i get up off the bed looking a little confused “what are you talking about baby?”

he rewinds the video a little to see me grinding up on matt singing along to throw some mo “this isnt even the first either, you and matt flirted the WHOLE video, we can’t even fucking post this now, because of your dumbass” his voice raises

“chris, you do realize i couldn’t see or fucking hear right?” i turn to look at him who’s once loving eyes now filled with rage.

“yeah but don’t you think you should have KNOWN my touch?” he raised his voice. “in matter of fact” he starts and fast forwards the video “look at his hands, look at how they hold your waist, if you think that’s it hold on there’s more” he sarcastically says. “HERE, when you’re whisking his hands are GRIPPING on yours and you don’t even stop him” he stand off his gaming chair looking down at me.

“Chris i don’t know what you’re so pissed off for, i do understand we can’t post this now, but you’re mad because i couldn’t see or hear ANYTHING? me and matt are JUST friends chris” i say looking up in his eyes. deep down i knew i was lying, ive always loved matt more then a friend but watching these videos knowing it was matt now? i can’t help but feel a little turned on, i know it was wrong of me but damn.

“Y/N don’t lie, i see the way you look at matt sometimes, i’ve seen it since we were younger, but i thought maybe i had a chance, you can’t lie to me about how you feel about him” his voice stays in a deeper tone almost a hurt tone, but knowing chris he’s not gonna get all mushy with me.

“Chris what the hell are you even talking about?” i run my fingers through my hair.

“okay since you’re playing stupid, leave. i don’t care where the hell you go, just go away from me” his voice now in anger pointing at the door.

i press my lips together and nod before grabbing my belongings from his nightstand and slamming his door and walking downstairs.

“WOAH Y/N where are you going and why did you just slam Chris’ door?” nick questions.

i let out a sigh “he thought when matt was guiding me through the kitchen being BLIND AND DEAF, was me and him flirting, and when i accidentally starting throwing it back on him, BUT-“ i was cut off by nick

“OKAY FOR ONE, it wasn’t flirting, and for two, you didn’t mean it, you were blind and deaf, why is he so mad, i mean we can just cut those parts out, it’s not totally ruined” nick says in an attempt to justify my actions, matt was so deeply invested in his phone i doubt he even heard the conversation.

“well whatever, i’m out of here, i love you guys!” i say walking out of the front door carefully shutting it and making my way to the car.

i back out of the driveway and turn my music on to distract me of my thoughts but my mind clouds with thoughts of the way matt’s hands felt on my body, the way he grabbed my waist, the way i accidentally threw it back on matt. why was i thinking like that? my thighs subconsciously clenched together. god i knew it was wrong. but here i am, getting turned on over a man who is my best friend and my boyfriend’s brother. but he had this glow to him, it was addictive.

𝜗𝜚 The next day 𝜗𝜚

i didn’t really sleep much last night, i was anxious, horny, mad, all of the feelings in one. i lay in bed watching movies when my Phone pings, i turn it over to see a message from chris.

Owen 💍

Come over tonight, and wear something easy to take off.

is he for real? make up sex isn’t gonna fix anything.

Y/N

Chris? really? make up sex?

Owen 💍

Nah nah just trust me ma, you’re gonna love it.

Y/N

Okay okay i’ll see you at 6

what did he have planned?? but alas i accepted, i sighed and went to the bathroom and turned on my shower to wash my hair, and shave… for whatever reason. chris didn’t care about what i looked like but something definitely told me that i should shave.

6 o clock rolled around faster then i knew it. i did my makeup, curled my hair and threw on a tight, short, skirt and a white crop top with a matching black lacy lingerie set underneath it all.

i grab my purse and phone and drive over to chris’ shared house with his brothers. as soon as i get there i use my spare key and open the locked door, to find the living room empty, assuming they’re all in their separate rooms. i slowly make my way to chris’ room and knock a couple times.

“Chris.. it’s me” i softly say into the door.

“come in” he yells softly from the other side of the door.

i walk into the room and find matt and chris sitting on his bed looking at chris’ phone, i’m a little confused but i thought he wanted to have a sit down talk with me and matt about stuff considering how last night went.

“so Y/N” chris stands up making his way towards me “i want to first start off by saying you look amazing” he comes closer to me talking in almost a whisper while brushing his fingers tips on my cheek making me shiver.

i lean my head down “thank you” i softly smile.

“no talking” his voice gets sturn “im gonna be doing all the talking and you’re gonna listen like the good girl i know you can be” his eyes fill with lust.

i nod “yes sir” i bite my lip softly

“you’re such a good girl for me” he smiles.

“now since you want to be a little slut and try to flaunt around my brother… you’re gonna be treated like a slut and let Matt fuck you like one” he smirks.

“w-what..?” my eyes widen.

“you heard me. i’m gonna watch matt fuck you like the little whore you are” he spits holding my jaw between his thumb and pointer finger.

“understand?” he says gazing down at me.

“y-yes sir” i nod nervously.

“such a good listener for me yeah?” he smiles placing a soft kiss on my lips.

“now strip and show matt what kind of whore you are” he says and walking to his gaming chair sitting down manspreading.

i walk over towards matt who’s sitting on the edge of the bed, i smiling devilishly pulling the shirt over my head and throwing it on the floor and pulling my skirt down leaving me exposed in nothing but my lingerie set.

“you can touch her, no need to be shy now matt” chris spits adjusting himself in the chair.

matt grabs my hips pulling me closer to him harshly and admiring my figure before him, running his fingers up and down my waist slightly running his fingers over my clothed nipples which hardened over his touch.

“you’re so fucking sexy” matt says in a husk whisper.

“t-thank you” i smile at matt.

“nu uh stop talking. you’re only gonna speak when i ask a question, got it?” matt’s eyes darken with lust.

“y-yes sir?” i questioned him not knowing if that’s what i say, i know chris likes it but considering i don’t know how matt is, im nervous.

“you treat him how you treat me Y/N” chris speaks from a couple feet away admiring how i react under matt’s touch.

i nod softly returning my eyes back to matt still gazing at my figure under his fingers. he wraps his arms around my back to unclip my bra letting it fall off my shoulders, his eyes widen slightly at my bare breast as his lower lip goes between his teeth.

his lips attached to my breast taking my hard nipplr between his teeth sucking harshly making my head go back and a soft whimper escape my lips as he massages one breast and his lips around the other occasionally kissing my nipple and switching breast.

chris’ eyes never leave me watching me come undone from his brothers touch. “you’re such a whore Y/N” chris speaks under his breath.

matt detached his lips from my breasts and uses his hands to rip my underwear off my legs and picking me up and throwing me on the bed letting a whimper fall from my lips at his harshness. he adjusts himself between my legs and comes up to face me and places a harsh hungry kiss on my lips swiping his tongue over my bottom lip almost begging for entry. as soon as my mouth open slightly he uses his tongue to explore my mouth fighting my own tongue for dominance he obviously won. his hand creeps down to rub his fingers through my wet folds of my pussy and letting a soft groan to escape from his mouth at my own wetness.

“so fucking wet for me yeah?” he says smirking into my lips.

he stands up using his hands to grab my ankles yanking me to the edge of the bed and immediately attacking my pussy with his mouth leaving open mouthed kissed on my clit.

“M-Matt, so fuc-fucking good” i moan out struggling to get a full sentence out of my mouth.

chris chuckles from across the room in a mocking manner. matt continues to flick his tongue over my clit now using his middle finger to enter my aching hole and curling it upward leaving me a moaning mess with just his mouth and fingers. he whines into my pussy “you have the sweetest fucking pussy”

i moan in response as he adds his ring finger in me as his cold rings hit the entry of my hole over and over again. my hands goes down to run his fingers through his hair.

“did he say you could touch him Y/N?” chris stands up from his seat walking to the other side of the bed and grabbing my wrist to pin them over my head.

i violently shake my head as my legs begin shaking and my cervixs contracts around matt’s fingers.

“Y/N i asked you a question” he says sternly looking at me. “did he say you could touch him?” he spits looking down at my fucked out face.

“N-no s-sir” i stutter out in a whimper. “cl-close” i scream out.

“beg” matt mumbles against me.

“i-i can’t” my eyes roll back into my head with moans spilling out of me.

“beg him Y/N, or you’re not cumming the rest of the night, and believe me, you’re in for a LONG night” chris says smirking still holding my wrists pent above my head.

“p-please s-sir, i’m so, so close” i whimper out.

“beg harder” matt’s head lifts up looking down at me while his fingers plunge into my at a ungodly speed curling them upwards hitting my spot sending me over the edge.

“please” i repeat a couple times “i-ill be- good” my back arches off the bed.

“cum” matt harshly says, which is all it took to send me into a euphoric orgasm as my cum drips out of me and onto his fingers.

chris let’s go of my wrists smiling down at me with nothing but lust in his eyes as my eyes trail from his eyes down to matt who’s undressing himself pulling his sweatpants and underwear down in one swift motion letting his hard needy cock to spring up and hit his stomach, he was pretty close to chris’ size but matt had so much more girth to his.

“you like what you see?” matt taunts.

i nod with a smile on my lips.

“get on all fours” matt’s once smile turns into a smirk looking up at chris who’s also smirking over at matt.

i flip over with my ass flaunting in the air and using my elbows for support and speeding my thighs and legs apart slightly for matt.

matt rummaged through chris’ bedside table for a condom but was quickly stopped by chris.

“no since she wants to act like a whore, you can fuck her like one and fuck her raw” matt smirks over at Chris’ comment and walks towards the edge of the bed and using his cock and slapping my pussy harshly with it letting a loud whine from me.

“someone’s sensitive” matt chuckles taunting me as his slides his tip up and down my soaping wet folds.

he slides just the tip in at first before inching his way in allowing me to adjust to his size as he bottoms out letting a groan escape from his lips and a screech from my lips come out.

“fuck she’s so tight” he groans and mumbles out.

chris smirks walking backwards till his back hits the wall crossing his arms watching matt fuck himself into me.

he starts thrusting in and out pulling out except for the tip and thrusting hard bottoming out each time before thrusting faster and harder.

“Matt” i moan out dragging out the ‘t’ of his name.

his left hand grabs my wrist wrist cuffing them behind my back using his right hand to push my head into the mattress containing his pace in and out of me.

“C-close” i muffle out in the sheets

“no, you’re gonna hold it” matt sternly replied.

“p-please” tears of pleasure form in my eyes as i whimper and scream.

“hold it” he forces my head deeper in the mattress

“c-ca-“ i was cut off by my orgasm gushing out of me squirting all over his cock and thighs leaving a puddle beneath me.

“that was incredibly hot Y/N but, you’re in deep shit now” matt pulls out flipping me back over my back staring down at my glistening red sensitive pussy.

chris shoots matt a smirk and walks over to his dresser ruffles through it pulling out my pink vibrator i use on occasion with chris or when chris is on tour, and throwing it to matt.

matt immediately turns it on the highest setting and placing it on my sensitive clit and pushes himself in me giving me no time to adjust.

matt forces my knees to my chest spreading them open to allow room for the vibrator on me, thrusting heavily in me kissing my cervix with his tip.

i’m a moaning mess beneath him as chris comes around placing his hands on either side of my head.

“is it too much princess?” he taunts smirking.

i nod vigorously as a response as screams and moans escape from me while matt continues to pound himself into my grunting with each thrust.

“this is what happens when you don’t listen Y/N” matt growls down at me as i can feel another orgasm approaching in my core as i tighten around matt again. chris stands up a little and pulls his phone out and opens his camera to get a picture of my fucked out expressions with my mascara pouring down my cheeks and lipstick stains down my chin as he smiles at his phone.

“are you close?” matt removed his hand from my knee still holding the vibrator against my clit, he used his hand to hold my throat softly squeezing my neck on the sides making me see more then just stars now.

“NO” i scream out but my trembling legs gave me away as my cervix spasms around his cock thrusting in me.

“are you close” his grip on my throat tightens as he moves the vibrator around my clit making my eyes roll back and my back arching off the bed.

“NO” i scream out again with more tears falling from my eyes from the overstimulation and pleasure.

“i don’t believe you” he spits smirking at me.

“Fu-fuck” my voice shakes and my throat becomes dry “C-CLOSE” i horsily scream out.

“i know you are baby, come on, cum on my cock” matt’s voice becomes softer as my legs shake and i contract around his cock squirting once again on his torso, cock, and the bed.

his thrusts become sloppier throwing the vibrator on the bed somewhere else as he thrusts in me a couple more times before coating my pink walls white with his cum as he pulls out slowly watching his cum come out of my hole smiling at me.

“are you okay” Chris and matt said in unison smiling at me and back at eachother.

“y-yes” i said out of breath.

chris and matt chuckles.

“i’ll change the sheets” matt says helping me off the bed placing me down on the floor making sure i don’t fall over.

“i’ll go run her a shower real quick” chris comes over towards me picking me up bridal style and carrying me to the shower.

“i-im sorry i never told you ab-“ i start.

“don’t worry about it ma i promise, me and matt are fine, me and you are even better i promise you that” he says kissing my lips softly before putting me in the shower and helping me shower.

“i love you” i say smiling at him as he massages my scalp.

“i love you most” he smiles back at me rinsing my hair out.

we finish showering after putting on some of chris’ clothes on me then making our way back to chris’ room as matt finishes changing the sheets smiling at me.

“i can’t believe you got her to squirt before me” chris chuckles breaking the silence.

“YOUVE NEVER GOTTEN HER TO DO THAT?” matt’s eyes widen as a smile peaks from his lips.

“nope” me and chris said together.

we all laugh softly “wait where’s nick? i really don’t want to explain this to him…” my voice trails off.

“well after chris came to me with a proposal about all this we made him go to a friends house for the night, and told him that i was also going to a friends house so he wouldn’t get suspicious” matt says kind of laughing at himself.

“well then can we all watch a movie together?” i smile at both chris and matt

“of course we can” chris chimed in making his way to the bed and placing me in the middle of the bed as matt is on one side and chris on the other turning on the TV putting on Gossip girl for me.

“i never understood the plot of this fucking show” matt says looking over at chris then back at me who already fell asleep. “and she’s out” matt says smiling

“this is typical Y/N” chris says laughing “i just roll with it” he adds turning back to the TV, and slowly both of them fell asleep with me in between both of them peacefully.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

A/N pt 2: SO I GOT SO CARRIED AWAY WITH THIS I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS AND ENJOYED IT AS MUCH AS I DID WRITING IT!! i love you all and tysm for over 400 followers!! 🩷🩷

XOXO

gabs 💋

[capseycartwright]

oh what a terrible honor it's been (to learn that my blessings are things you call sins)

Hey God, it's me, Eddie. I hope you don’t mind that I’m sitting in your house thinking gay thoughts.

Eddie couldn’t help but giggle to himself as he thought the words. If he couldn’t be a bit silly while having a sexuality crisis in a Catholic church – when could he? 

Christopher leaves for Texas, Eddie goes back to therapy, unearths an emotional lockbox he had been fourteen years old when he buried, and has a lot of thoughts about how Buck is sunshine incarnate. In hindsight, it probably should have been obvious he wasn't straight.

ao3 link

t’s been a long time since Eddie Diaz had set foot in a church – of his own accord, at least. He’d been to the christenings and communions and confirmations of all of his various nieces, nephews, and cousins, he’d sat stiff in the pew as he’d watched friends, and family get married, trying his best not to remember how own wedding day, the way Shannon’s hands had shaken in his grip as they promised to love each other until death do them part, both of them young, too young to understand the covenant they were signing up to. Eddie had been there, for all those occasions, but he hadn’t gone to mass, or even sat in a church, just because he wanted to in a very long time. 

He wasn’t even really sure if he wanted to be there today, but it was a Thursday, and Christopher was in Texas, and Eddie wasn’t working, and he’d been having an extended mental breakdown for the last few weeks, and before he knew it, he was sitting in the pew of St Brendan’s Catholic Church, listening to a softly spoken priest with an Irish lilt to his accent – faded, after years in America, Eddie presumed, but still there, noticeable in the inflection of certain words – recite the Our Father. 

Eddie had never been to St Brendan’s before, but it felt like every other church he’d been to in his life. They didn’t all look the same, necessarily, though they followed the same format, rows of uncomfortable wooden pews and an altar decorated in gold, as opulent as it was suffocating. Eddie had thought it beautiful, before, the way Catholic churches were decorated in gold and jewels, believing for so much of his life that the wealth honoured God – but living life had made him learn the grandeur and displays of wealth were nothing more than indicative of the wealth the Catholic church had hoarded while their devout followers starved, all in the name of faith and of God. True faith didn’t need to be gilded in gold to be sincere, he’d decided.

Eddie had never been to St Brendan’s before, but mass was the same. It didn’t change – though the wording of some of the prayers did. He’d sort of been checked out of being a regular churchgoer by time they had changed some of the prayers, only discovering the difference when he confidently started to recite it wrong at his youngest niece’s communion, his mother fixing him with a glare so icy hell might have frozen over under the power of Helena Diaz’s gaze alone. He’d never learned the new ones, not really, and so Eddie just recited the one’s he’d learned for his own confirmation, the words falling from his lips, muscle memory more than it was faith now. 

Our father, who art in heaven – hallowed be thy name . 

Eddie couldn’t help but laugh, a little, as he murmured the prayer. Hallowed be thy name. He knew the prayer talked about God, their holy father, but the prayer had always made him think of his own father, of the way Ramon Diaz was a hallowed man in his own right, how he parented with an iron fist and expected to be obeyed. 

Things were getting better now, with his dad. Maybe – maybe that was part of the fear. Eddie had always been afraid of letting people down, but more than anyone, he was afraid of letting his father down – of seeing that look of disappointment set into every crease of his father’s face, an expression he’d been on the receiving end of for more of his childhood than he’d like to admit. Eddie had tried so hard to make sure he was never on the receiving end of that look again, but nothing he had ever done was good enough – not marrying Shannon, not the way he had tried to take responsibility for his young family, not the army, not the man he had been when he’d come home from Afghanistan. 

Distance had lessened the number of disappointed looks, but Eddie knew that was because he was simply not seeing them anymore; he was sure his father sometimes frowned at the phone when they’d finally call, silted conversation about Christopher and life at the firehouse the best either of them could muster. 

It wasn’t perfect, but it was getting better. 

At least it had been, until his parents had taken Christopher with them to Texas. It hadn’t helped their relationship – but it hadn’t hindered it as much as Eddie had expected either. He was never going to thank them, for the way they had swooped in, ready to take Christopher at a moment’s notice, but he could thank them for giving his son the space that he needed to process. Eddie couldn’t give him that space, right now, but he was grateful someone could. Still – he would be ready to drive to Texas at the drop of a hat when Christopher decided he was ready to come home.

Things were getting better, that was the thing. His dad called, every night, to update Eddie on Christopher’s day. Eddie could hear the familiar sounds of the Diaz backyard as his dad softly spoke, telling Eddie about how Christopher had been to the lake, with his cousins, and how he’d finished another book, and how he was helping Helena to make dinner, right then. It had filled the gap until Christopher had started to call Eddie himself, his voice tinny as he mumbled over the phone, things not quite back to normal, Christopher not willing to talk to him about anything except Marvel and Minecraft and how abuela’s tamales were better than Eddie’s, but better than they were, at least. 

Every time they were on the phone, Eddie reassured his parents that he was working on himself. He was back seeing Frank, every week, and at Frank’s encouragement, he’d joined a veteran’s support group. Eddie wasn’t exactly the picture-perfect military veteran he assumed he needed to be, to join a veteran support group, but the rag-tag group that met at his community hall every month weren’t exactly the flag-wearing, gun-toting veterans he’d expected them to be. James was a 63-year-old man from Massachusetts who ran the group – he had moved out to LA to live with his daughter after he retired and referred to himself delightedly as a stay-at-home grandfather. Luisa was a vet around Eddie’s own age, and she’d gone back to university after she got out of the army and got a fine arts degree. She liked to paint, and talked about her wife with a reverence and openness that Eddie could only admire. 

He hadn’t said a word the first time he went, and Buck had sat in the Jeep in the carpark, a ready-made escape plan for Eddie in case he decided it was all too much. Eddie had sat quietly as the group had chatted, drinking tea and coffee out of flimsy paper cups, and eating homemade biscuits – made by James, who, as it turned out, was quite the prolific baker – and he’d watched. He’d watched as the group had talked about their bad days, and their good days, and how they were coping with life after the military, and not a single glorious war-story was exchanged. 

That was when Eddie knew it was safe to keep going. He was never going to be a man who was proud of his service, and he didn’t want to have to attend a support group of people who’d talk about their time in the military like it was the good old days. He had spoken a little more, the second time he went – Buck doing his groceries, two streets away, rather than sitting in the carpark – and he’d introduced himself, his voice gruff as he tried to figure out what version of Eddie he wanted to present to the world. 

Eddie was still figuring that part out – the version of himself he wanted to be, that is. 

He was figuring himself out. That was the point. He was trying, he was really trying – and people could see that, Eddie was sure. His parents said they could, at least.

Which was why he was here – in a church not dissimilar to the one he’d attended every Sunday in El Paso growing up – on his knees, praying to a God he wasn’t sure he actually believed in for guidance. 

read the rest on ao3

[spocks-evil-godmother]

To just uncritically enjoy Strange New Worlds for a second... I love the way that they are intentionally and seriously playing with Pike's arc and specifically drawing out the implications of what it REALLY means to not be the protagonist in this story. It's all well and good to say that there are no no-win scenarios when you are, in fact, the protagonist, and you and your crew merrily sail along at the end of every hour-long episode. But they aren't writing a character from scratch. They're pulling from this one moment, really, where the TOS writers were like, lol what if we made this fucked up thing happen. And unlike the Kelvin timeline, they don't sanitize it down to "oh, he just uses a wheelchair and then is tragically killed womp womp." No. Here is a character who suffers, in perpetual pain, with little means to communicate, in a world with such significant medical advances as to make this injury one of the most profoundly isolating experiences possible. And Pike chooses it.

He doesn't choose it just once, the first time, when the vision is offered to him. It is something he chooses again, to save Spock's life, and then to save all the lives that Spock will save by ending the conflict with the Romulans, when he is granted that knowledge. And there's something really delightful in that they CAN'T bend this narrative. Spock really is that important. He's the protagonist. He has things to do, you might say. They've spent 60 years establishing this. And that puts Pike in this position of having to humbly step back, and choose something painful for himself out of his own commitment to service, sacrifice, compassion, and love--and be satisfied that it is the RIGHT choice, whatever it means for him.

And I think I also love that it then it kind of answers this mysterious question presented in "The Menagerie," which is, of course, why does Spock go to all this bother for this guy? And sure, it's one thing for Spock to say, "I just respect the hell out of this dude," but SNW is really making a point of solidifying that yeah, he does though. Christopher Pike has a heart so big it changed everything, actually. And that's a story worth telling.

[hug-me-hard-so-i-dont-forget-you]

Plot points I hope to see in season 8b/9

(this is long because the writers have a lot to make up for)

• Airport scene

• Eddie gives Buck his St. Christopher necklace

• Buck's coping mechanism of briefly turning into slutty Buck 1.0 after Eddie leaves. Only this time it's with guys that resemble Eddie but he doesn't notice. Maddie does. And she wishes desperately that she wasn't pregnant so she could drink

• Buck actually uses the word bisexual or bi to describe himself

• Finally getting to see Eddie's sisters. And maybe while he's in Texas he facetimes Buck and they come into frame. And in true little sister fashion, they embarrass him: "Oh, Edmundo! Is this the Buck we keep hearing about? He IS cute!"

"I never said that!"

Buck: "...you don't think I'm cute? 🥺"

• Maddie, Sofia, and Adrianna meeting and bonding over their dumbass brothers

• Everyone else finds out that Buck is in Eddie's will and they all just stand there, mouths agape cuz how THE FUCK do they not know they're in love?? Everyone else can see it!

• Buck tells literally everyone at the 118 about his feelings for Eddie because he needs advice. And Chim makes a joke like,

"He already has everyone crushing on him! Why can't someone have a crush on me for once??"

"...dude, you're my brother-in-law."

"So?? We don't have to tell Maddie!"

• Buck admits his feelings but Eddie ends up not leaving so Buck avoids him out of embarrassment like jk pranked ya!

• Buck NDE because I NEED to see Eddie lose his shit

• Or they both have a close call and later have a serious 'spousal' discussion about what would happen to Chris if they both died. And then they share a moment of comradery, trash talking Helena & Ramon and hoping they never get custody again

• Speaking of Shitty Parents 2.0 (Shitty Parents 1.0 being the Buckley's) we need more screen time hating on Helena. Ramon got multiple scenes showing how awful he is and Eddie calling him out on it. But Helena is a selfish woman that keeps trying to manipulate Eddie into giving her Chris. And even when Eddie tries to keep in contact with his son while he's in Texas she just brushes him off and doesn't try to get Chris to talk to him. All because she got her way so she doesn't care, pushing Eddie further into his pit of self-hatred. And for that she must be punished

• Eddie talking to Bobby about his Catholic guilt in relation to his sexuality. And then going to Michael for advice about the transition of believing he's straight and having a heterosexual marriage and family to where he is now. The 3 of them need to go on a fishing trip or something. They'd have it all sorted out within the weekend

• Eddie and Maddie having ANY kind of interaction on screen. The writers know that if they teamed up they'd be besties instantly and they're keeping that from us!

• Chris needing dating advice but as soon as his dad tries to help he cuts him off like: "Not from you, you're obviously gay and all of your straight relationships sunk like the Titanic. But thanks anyway. Hey Buck!"

"Wtf? His relationships weren't great either!"

• Eddie having more discussions with Hot Priest™️ about his guilt and he just smiles fondly at Eddie, "I don't know about you, but my god doesn't judge. Not when someone lives their truth. I think you're more afraid of your family's judgement. If I were you, I'd go back and think of every time I thought God was judging me and consider the possibility that I was putting Him in place of my parental figures." and Eddie just blue screens for many minutes as Hot Priest™️ patiently waits for him to catch up as if he hadn't just changed his entire fucking life

• A scene where either Hot Priest™️ or Bobby or Buck asks him: "Would you judge Christopher if he questioned his sexuality?" "What? No." "Would you tell him to go to confessional or try to pray it away?" "Of course not!" "Would you ever discourage him to be anything less than who he truly is? Or stop him from doing something that makes him happy?" "No!" "Then why do it to yourself? Why set that example? Even if it turns out your parents or Abuela aren't comfortable with you exploring your sexuality, you can always do better than them. Break the cycle for the one person who matters most to you. Be happy, be yourself, be what you want to be, not what others expect from you. And I know you, you won't do it for you. So do it for Christopher. Show him that it's okay, great even, to be you."

• Josh getting all giddy while talking to Eddie like he did when Buck asked for gay dating advice

• Eddie talking to Hen and Karen about how they coped with their foster kids leaving. Like, how do wake up every morning to a quieter house and empty bedrooms, knowing the breakfast table is going to be lonely? They exchange bittersweet looks and hug him

I will accept no less than 80% of this becoming canon. Thank you and good night.

[call-me-ninaaa]

first kiss- Christopher Sturniolo

Chris sturniolo x fem!reader

heyy, guess who had the motivation to write something in the middle of the nightt?!

warnings: slightly suggestive, making out, cussing

yeah that's it, please, if you're a sensitive fan, don't read this, just skip.

anyway this is a long imagine, so enjoy!

_________________

you've never had your first kiss, kind of embarrassing in your opinion, considering the age you were turning in like four days, 21, just like the three people you grew up with.

of course only your best friends knew about your little secret, such as nicolas antonio sturniolo's and madison filipowicz.

not a single boyfriend in your life either, which left you single, un-kissed and touch deprived at twenty, soon to be twenty one years old.

a lot of people haven't had their first kiss or relationship in your age before, but you still found it embarrassing to not be able to talk about experiences you've had before, like the rest of your friends, acting like you know what they're talking about, not wanting to seem so clueless in front of them, nodding as they talked to prevent them from finding out, even if you really had no idea about the topic, like at all.

despite never being in a relationship, of course you've had crushes in your life, everyone has, it's normal.

although nick at first didn't really know how to feel with his childhood best friend, who he grew up with, having a crush on his younger triplet brother, he was now happy that it's you who liked him, not some random girl he couldn't trust with his brother, not knowing if that chic would be using the boy or not.

but with you? oh he had so much trust in you, that it kind of scares you to be honest, you were there when his first tooth fell out. when he first moved to another house. when he got his first bad grade. when he found out he was gay and you were the first he told. when he got his first boyfriend. when he cried about something. when he had his first panic attack ever. when he got into fights with his boyfriend. when they broke up you were the one who comforted him, who was there when he needed you the most. when he accidentally told his brothers about his sexuality. when he needed help and courage to come out to his parents and older brother. when he would get send out of class for sassing at the teacher, you would also sass at the teacher to get send out with nick so he wouldn't be alone. when he went to his first party, when he didn't have a prom date in high school, you went with him, even on like winter formals back in middle school. when he got his first job along with his brothers and you. when his house burned down and he was at a pool party, with you by his side. you guys were considered a two pack, wherever nick went, you were always there by his side. when he moved again. when he first started youtube. when he and his brothers moved out of boston to LA. when he hit one million subscribers. when he hit two million subscribers. when he hit three million subscribers. when he hit four million subscribers. when he hit five million subscribers. when he hit six million subscribers. and now, when he hit seven million subscribers, just yesterday. you were always right there.

it was crazy to think about how much you guys were together, and even after all these years, you never left any of their sides, not once. even after a discussion, you would always be there for them, just as they were for you. it was always the four of you against the world, and nothing would change that.

the longest you and nick have been apart for, was at least ten hours, not even a day, your family living with his, as your mothers were so close, they could've been sisters. somehow, they got pregnant at the same time on the year 2004. mary-lou giving birth to the triplets on august 1st, while your mom gave birth to you on september 3rd, which meant the triplets were only 33 days older than you, your favorite number coincidentally being 3, as everything in your life somehow had something to do with that number.

nick knew you had commitment issues, along with matt and chris, having trouble expressing yourself, such as your feelings, your thoughts and opinions on some things or topics, but luckily for you, he understands what you want to say without you having to actually say it, knowing how and what you're thinking, but the person you know can relate to this topic, is chris, as he has commitment issues himself.

matt was the one who could relate to you with anxiety, not just now, end of middle school and all through high school, you were there for him when he needed someone to the most, as he does for you now. back then your anxiety wasn't that bad, matt's on the other hand though, was really something else, but now, his isn't THAT bad anymore, yours, was really really bad, sometimes, it gets so bad that you lock yourself in your room, and won't get out for the rest of the day, or the day after, staying there under the comfy sheets, starving yourself rather than having to stand up and go downstairs to actually eat something, your one water bottle that is only needed when you're taking your meds as you hate drinking water, the only liquid source in the room.

but it hasn't been like that for a few months now, which was good according to your doctor and therapist, who texted you like twice a week maybe, just checking up on you tho, you on the other hand, could text her whenever, about whatever, whether it was you talking about your day, trying to talk about your feelings, out of excitement for something or someone, or just to say something random, she was your 'personal' therapist or something, but she was sweet nonetheless, not like most of your therapists, she even obsesses over chase atlantic as much as you do, she felt like a friend to you in your opinion, liking the things you do, just that she is like five years or so older that you.

she talked to you about your crush on chris, and because you couldn't talk to nick about his BROTHER that much, not just because of the relation, also because you feel like a girl would get you, even better a girl you could talk to and ask for advice who had experiences, a lot you might add, remembering some things she told you about, not even half of what she could tell you, there just wasn't enough time for ALL the stories.

you even told her that you never had a boyfriend or your first kiss, and she reassured you that it's no big deal, the right one will come soon, which was something you always told yourself too.

you've always been with nick wherever he was, but because of a very important meeting that you couldn't miss for the world, you had to fly from japan back to LA as he flew with madison beer to australia, where you would meet them in like three days.

your uber driver let you know that you arrived at home, but because of the curtains, you couldn't see if matt or chris was asleep, considering it was 4 am, you decided to use the key to get inside, going upstairs to your room across the hall, where matt's was, arranging your stuff, you then made your way to matt, hearing him scream, which meant he was awake, because you wanted to send nick their reaction, per his request, you started recording.

you knocked three times, waiting for his answer.

"come in?" you heard him say in a confused tone, but you couldn't blame the boy, if he was playing fortnite or something with chris, no one else would be at his door, at least he thought so, both of the boys unaware that you had to fly back home for a few days.

"hey matty, whatcha doin' up so late?" you saw him turn his head.

"what the fuck?!" matt said, which caused you to laugh, glad to have recorded this, his reaction priceless.

"what are you doing here in LA? aren't you supposed to be with n-" you cut him off.

"yeah, but i had to fly back because of a meeting i have here in LA, because i couldn't miss it, i'll fly to their location in a few days" you responded, meeting him just before you could be in the view of his camera, only your hands visible for a second as he stood up, hugging you with a little force which unknowingly prevented you from being seen, his headphones disregarded for privacy reasons.

"aw, i missed you so much bro, like, you won't believe how bored me and chris were without you and nick here." because he was one head bigger than you, he leaned down a little so your chin could be resting on his shoulder while his was on yours.

"that's so cute bruh, but that's like the farthest i've been away from nick too, which kinda feels weird tbh, i'm happy to finally be home with you guys tho." sighing you pulled away, looking at his two monitors.

"wait, you're live on twitch? i'm so sorry i thought you were just playing fortnite with chris! i don't wanna bother you anymore, i'll go now." you felt bad for interrupting his game, pulling him away from the stream.

"yeah, no it's okay you aren't bothering me at all, u should go surprise chris tho, but the chat probably heard your voice at first, so i'll deal with that while you're downstairs." he reassured, smiling at you softly before turning around to sit down as you left the room and made your way to chris' room, also knocking three times and waiting for a response.

"come in?" he was just as confused as matt was.

"hey there, what're you doin' awake huh?" you asked just like before with matt.

"what the-" he cut himself off.

"HEY! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH MA!" he yelled out in excitement, ignoring the camera that was pointing at him, completely forgetting the stream as he ran to you, embracing you with so much force your back was met with the wall behind you next to his door, what they didn't know tho, was that you told nick that you were outside the house before you opened the door with the keys, so he could watch it all go down.

you could hear nick letting matt know he was there the whole time, screaming to scare the boy, telling him that he joined the discord server to speak with them.

"nick always has to be extra when he has the chance bruh." you chuckled after faintly hearing their conversation through the headphones hanging around his neck, chris also laughing, still with his chin on top of your head, while yours was leaning against his chest, facing to the right.

"why are you here tho, don't get me wrong, i love that you're back home, just wondering why." he explained the reason for his question.

"well, i have a meeting i cannot miss here in LA, so i flew back here for a few days, then i'm gonna meet nick and madison at their location somewhere in australia.“ you told him the same thing as before with matt, not knowing that your conversation could be heard through the headset, the chat going crazy as matt and nick listened.

"aw, i'm still glad you're here tho, we are getting so bored alone." he pulled away from the hug, his arms still around you, not noticing that they were, or that their conversation could be heard.

"yeah, i saw, i mean, you guys've been so active on social media, actually i think that's the most active you guys have ever been, with now which one is it? the sixth stream on twitch i think? yeah you definitely don't know what to do while we are absent." you laughed, along with chris, when you could hear nick also laughing, with matt being offended, saying that's not true.

you furrowed your eyebrows, taking chris' headphones and putting them on as you stood in front of the camera, seeing matt, and yourself as you bend over just enough for him to see your face.

"wait, you guys could hear us the whole time?" you asked as chris sat down in his chair.

"yeah, obviously, chris didn't even put his headset away bro." matt smirked, slightly shaking his head as if disappointed.

"oh well." shrugging you stood up straight handing the headphones back to him as he out it on, chris holding you by the waist, pulling you down onto his lap nonchalantly after that, your hips touching his.

"chris! what are you doing bruh?" you whisper-yelled, out of panic for some reason.

"what? i sat you down because there is no chair in my room, it's just my lap, chill out." he shrugged, putting his hands on your thighs as he puts his head on your shoulder, to see the comments better, muting his mic for a second.

"it's not like i sat you down on my dick right in front of my brothers and the whole stream." he covered his mouth so nobody could lip read what he said, smirking as he leaned back, waiting for your response, hands now resting right where your legs and hips joined, nonetheless being careful to not touch you too much.

"CHRIS! WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT BRO?! THEY CAN HEAR YOU, YOU KNOW?" you turned your head around to face his, after the shock went away, eyes still wide from before.

"no, i'm not that dumb yk, i make sure to mute myself before i say shit." he was acting like it was no big deal, unmuting his mic, hearing his brothers still talk about japan.

"you're so clueless sometimes, i really wanna know if you'd survive a zombie apocalypse." you grabbed your phone from your shorts pocket, slightly leaning forward to be able to pull it out of your back pocket, sitting back down on his lap fully after proceeding to do so.

"what, because i don't have a brain they could eat?" he slightly sassed.

"yeah, i wonder how you got that one." you smiled, looking at the comments.

"ha ha." he fake laughed, not finding the joke funny whatsoever.

"yo, nick, what the fuck are these comments bro, the chat is fucking crazy!" your eyes widened, reading what the fans were saying, taking the headset from chris and putting them on yourself.

"what? i can't see shit, send me a pic of which one you mean." nick told you.

snapping a picture, you showed chris, sending it to nick and matt.

"matt, i send you the pic too btw, anyway, hey guys, i'm uh, well, yk who i am, if not, i'm their childhood best friend, like a sister or whatever, idk." you waved, hearing them react to the picture.

"what the fuck, i don't really read the comments, like, i knew these people exist, but like, what the fuck?" matt's look on his face was a disgusted one, nick gagging for a second.

"i like, almost threw up, but lemme call you rather than just hearing you guys." he announced, leaving the discord server, just as your phone rang.

"hey again." nick waved at the now visible you.

"heyy, wait, are you seriously watching tiktok while we are talking?" you saw the reflection of the app in his eyes.

"uh, yeah? OH MY GOD YOU GOTTA SEE THIS! I JUST SENDED IT TO YOU." confused you opened the app, a tiktok from chris immediately popping up on your fyp, already liked and saved by you.

eyes wide, you panicked, scrolling down in hopes that chris hasn't seen it.

"did you save my video?" he asked, chin once again resting on your shoulder.

"what?" you played dumb.

"did you save my video?" he repeated himself.

"what? no, i only liked it, just like all the other one's i come across that you guys post, to support you, i don't know how you thought that." the support thing was a distraction to make him forget.

"alright, whatever you say." he let the topic go, sliding the headset off of you and on him with one hand somehow, grabbing his controller and placing both his hand on your lap once again.

"wait nick, you didn't send it to me." confused the boy spoke up.

"what i did, close and open your tiktok again." you did as he said, finally seeing the video he send you.

"ohh, wait lemme stalk rq, cause i wanna see how much he really changed." you reasoned, in your own world, only hearing nick talk, everything else zoned out completely.

"you sure that's the only reason you're stalking him? i know when you're lying girl." you smiled at that, not because you were lying, but because you knew he knew when you were lying or not, being so close he could even tell if you're smiling or not, depending the situation, even if he's in another continent.

"yeah? why else would i go to that guy's account?" you asked him why he thought otherwise, not noticing the silence on chris' side.

"uh, because he almost kissed you girl, you said he was attractive, but for some reason you just didn't want to kiss him, if i would've had the opportunity to kiss that guy, i would've a 100 percent taken that chance, the other girls called you insane bro." he refreshed your memory, remembering the day like it was yesterday.

"okay, yeah, that was kind of funny, but i didn't wanna kiss him because of the bet he made with his friends, i know any girl in my place would've taken the chance whether it was a bet or not, but just because he 'was' attractive, doesn't mean i'm attracted to him, he just wasn't my type, i mean, he had a face card, and body, which was way too buff in my opinion, his personality was shit tho, which is the most important part, like, if you marry someone who is beautiful with bad intentions, who knows if he stays that beautiful, i'm not saying they can get into an accident, well, they can, not my point tho, you either have a glow up, or glow down at our age in high school, and he had the biggest glow down in history to ever exist, and the bad intentions stay, which as we know isn't gonna end well, but if i someday marry a man that doesn't have a face card like others our age or a body like 'the rock' himself, but he has a good personality, that matches mine, then i won in life, cause like, i'm gonna fall in love with him because of his personality and how he acts, it's not real love if you like someone based on their looks or muscles, if they have muscles or are good looking, then it's a bonus point, not the whole point of the love story, you know what i mean nicky?" leaning the phone on chris' monitor, you started speaking. you could yap about the topic all day, but if it comes to you, you're stayin' speechless, never had a boyfriend before, but gives the best advice for friends who are in a relationship. makes no sense, but it somehow does.

"like love makes you blind, you only see the good in the person you love, forgiving because you love too much, but people outside of the relationship, can see what's happening and have a better mind of what's good and what's bad, because they are not blinded by love like the person in the relationship is, and trying to let the person know about it or at least try to talk to them about it, is complicated, if they are understanding and listen to you, say that they are gonna think about it, is the reaction you try to get, but if they deny, say that it's not like that and the person just won't get it in their head, they're gonna have to fall on their face to realize it, it may seem like a bad idea, but sometimes, falling on your face helps you view everything with new eyes, more aware of what you do, and how you do everything, which some people really do need. loving too much is just going to end up hurting yourself, if your self love isn't stronger, than you made everything wrong in life, not saying to be too in-love with yourself, just enough to know when it's too much, before it's too late and you can't change anything anymore, you learned from your mistakes but will you ever be able to love again like you did before? that's the point people won't get in their head you know?" you continued, knowing everything you said came straight from the heart.

"i understand what you're saying, and i am completely with you here, but in this generation, people date because of looks, because they want to be in a relationship, not because they love each other." he added, the deep talk too deep to stop now.

"yeah, that's the problem, finding someone in this generation that truly loves you, and wants to grow old with you, like the old love kinda thing, who doesn't want to just fuck and move on, but truly appreciate and love you like no other, that someone to find is almost impossible, with the way they act these days, like i know everything happens for a reason, but what the fuck?!" nick chuckled at the end of your sentence, just now aware that your phone was literally leaning on the monitor the comments were, the chat talking about how you were right.

"oh shit, i forgot the stream is still on, fuck." you cursed, your fyp is gonna be full with your speech.

"HAH, the edits are gonna be fireee, especially after your speech bruh, like okay shakespeare, slay 'em dead." while nick hyped you up, chris was chuckling, both brothers now in the lobby after just dying on game.

"no nick, that's literally not funny at all, it's gonna haunt me forever, just like when matt said 'his loss' in a video. it haunts him till this day bro, like i don't care, it's my opinion, i didn't say anything i didn't mean, but that was some poetry shit right there, yk what i mean bro?" you groaned, still making fun of matt in the progress.

"hey! what does that have to do with me?" matt complained, which caused you all to laugh.

"alright, i'm gonna go to sleep now, talk to you tomorrow, good night!" nick announced as the laughter quieted down.

"alright, good night nick" his brothers said, matt now in chris' room.

"night nick" you waved, ending the call, finally leaning back into chris' chest, as he groaned for a quick second, holding you in place by your hips, making you look at him.

"everything okay chris? what was that?" you asked, concerned for him.

"oh nothing, all good." he smiled, which looked forced to you, but you didn't pry into it, probably just his hands cramping after playing just a minute ago for five hours straight.

chris and matt were saying their goodbye's as you waited for them to finally end the stream and sleep, it's been a long day for you, so all you wanted was sleep, matt too apparently.

"okay guys, i'm really tired, so we will end the stream here, no stream tomorrow, probably a saturday night stream, if not monday, good night guys." matt said, chris and you also saying goodnight, ending the stream at that.

matt walked out the room, you were about to aswell, but chris stopped you.

"wait a sec." you turned around, him standing in front of you now.

"yeah?" looking up, he pulled you into a hug.

you didn't say anything, him hugging you randomly wasn't unusual, that was something you loved about him actually, not needing a reason to hug you, simply just because he has the chance to. but it felt different this time.

after a good two minutes, he slowly pulled away slightly, just enough to lean his forehead against yours.

"so you, just wanted, a hug?" you paused every two words, looking into his eyes, lips then back into his eyes.

"yeah, just, a...hug." he also paused, doing the same to you as you did to him.

as you both subconsciously leaned in, you remembered your biggest secret.

just as your lips were about to meet, your right hand went from his chest to his lips, your pointer finger in a shushing manner, just lightly touching them.

"i, uh" you didn't know how to tell him.

"oh, i'm sorry, i never wanted to make you uncomf-" you pressed your pointer finger to his lips, finally spitting it out.

"no, no, that's not it, i just uh, i've never- kissed anyone...before." you were embarrassed, as he smiled.

"that's okay, i can teach you, don't worry. it comes naturally." chris smirked, reassuring you as he waited for your response.

"yeah that's what everyone says, but how does it come naturally, i don't even know what to do." you told him, kind of freaking out, but trying not to show it.

"just copy me, move your lips to a rhythm, we'll go slow so you'll get the hang of it, for now, i'll take your top lip, to make it easier for you, alright?" he tried to explain as best as he could.

"what? i thought both our top lips are like touching, just like our bottom lips?" you were confused, not knowing a single thing.

"oh you're that clueless. but before you called me clueless, now look at you." the boy tried to joke, chuckling as you rolled your eyes. at this point your left hand was still on his chest, while your right hand was on his neck, his hands both on your waist.

"okay, okay, i'm sorry, just try to match my rhythm, copy what i do, alright?" he made the instructions clear, it couldn't be that hard, right?

"okay." you whispered, your eyes once again flickering from chris' eyes, to his lips and back to his eyes, which he took as his cue to lean in and connect your lips.

as he moved his lips, you just now noticed how soft they were. you tried to copy his actions as best as you could, matching his pace easily, getting the hang of it quickly.

due to the lack of oxygen, you both had to pull away, connecting your lips a few seconds later, too focused on the feeling of his lips moving so perfectly against yours to think about anything else.

the once slow and steady rhythm turned into a quick one as you tried to pull him to you further with your hands on his neck, as the boy did the same, his hands on your waist, your back slowly leaning off the wall behind you.

"jump." he tapped the back of your thighs, whispering before continuing to kiss you.

as you did what he said, your legs wrapped around his waist as chris lead the way to his bed, not thinking clearly as he did.

he layed you on your back, leaning over you as the kids only broke for a few seconds in need of oxygen, leaning back in right after, not being able to stop, his lips so addictive they pulled you into a trance.

"we, should really, stop." he said in between kisses.

"do you, want to, stop, tho?" you asked him, also in between kisses.

"no, ur, so, addictive. do, you?" chris felt like he was in heaven, not wanting it to end so soon.

"no." you simply answered, continuing to kiss him.

"then, let's just, keep, going." he suggested.

"mhmm" you agreed. that's what you planned on doing anyway.

after five minutes of kissing, he licked your bottom lip, asking for entrance.

because you didn't want to give in just yet, you ignored it.

after asking again, he bit your bottom lip a little, which made you gasp, as he slid his tongue inside your mouth.

as your tongues fought for dominance, he was clearly winning, the wet sounds filling the whole room as you guys kissed, both of you a sweaty, breathless mess.

because you still had your vest on, the zipper still halfway down since you came home, he pulled it down completely, helping you take it off, the room very warm, the heat radiating off of you both only making it hotter.

he was wearing a hoodie, which you helped him take off, chris now shirtless as he had nothing under the hoodie, only in sweats as you were in a white sports bra and black shorts.

"this looks, so wrong" he told you, realizing how this must look like in third person.

"let's, just hope, matt's, asleep." you said to him, knowing he was right.

"i don't, think-" he got interrupted by three knocks on the half open door, the said brother looking up from his phone.

"hey chris, i think mom-" he paused, you both looking at him from your position, trying to catch your breaths.

"EW BRO, YA'LL WERE BOUTTA FUCK WITH THE DOOR HALF OPEN?! FUCKING DISGUSTING BRUH!" you could hear him say as he walked upstairs, terrified after what he saw.

"we weren't 'bout to-" chris was cut off by matt's door upstairs, as it echoed through the whole house.

"welp- now he thinks we were about to have sex." chris shrugged, not really caring.

"were we though?" you raised an eyebrow at him, your positions still the same after like half an hour.

"well, i don't think so, right?" he then asked you.

"i mean, i guess not, we're just two best friends, making out on your bed, lips all red and swollen, you're shirtless with sweats, i'm with bra and shorts, nothing weird about that, right?" you joked, laughing at how ridiculous it sounds, everything about that was weird actually.

you guys decided to really go to bed now tho because after that, the exhaustion was definitely there. if it wasn't there before, it def is now.

chris changed, as you did too in his bathroom, going to sleep in his bed, not having the energy to unpack your stuff and clean your room again, you can do that tomorrow, but for now, all you wanted was to sleep, with chris by your side was a bonus, and you couldn't have been happier.

_________________

that was a really long imagine, but i hope you liked it!

please make sure to eat and drink enough today!

i hope you have/had a good day!

thank you for reading and see you in the next imagine.

not proof read!

word count: 5242

[whydoeseveryonewanttobangchan]

PART 1: 🚪 Whats wrong with a little privacy, huh? 🚪

✎ Pairing: Chan x fem!reader

✎ Genre: Slightly smutty fluff (?)

✎ Summary: Your boyfriend takes you out to a nice restaurant, but you end up eating something not on the menu.

✎ CW: Tbh kissing. I hope you like kissing.

✎ Word count: 2,118

✩ A/N: Spicy part 2 is live!✩

❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥

“You look beautiful tonight, by the way,” Chan says, shooting you a quick smirk while he drives.

He always looks effortlessly sexy in the car: one hand on the steering wheel, one somewhere on your leg. Tonight, it’s high up on your thigh, squeezing and rubbing the bare skin just under the hem of your dress.

“Thanks, baby,” you reply. “You, too, of course.”

“Oh, stop,” he chides. “You’ll make me blush.”

But he does anyway. Even in the dark, you can see his cheeks take on a slightly pink hue. It’s so easy to make him flustered sometimes.

The way the moonlight hit his skin was enough to make you giddy, too. His umber eyes glancing back and forth between the road ahead and your thigh, the way his wide nose slopes down and curves just above his plump, pink lips, his silver hoops swinging back and forth in his earlobes when you hit a rough patch of pavement. He was like living art. And he was all yours.

“So….” he starts, trying to change the topic inside your brain to something less… him. “You excited for the seafood?”

“Mhhmmm,” you mumble, still entranced by the god next to you. He’s gonna have to try harder than that.

He catches your eyes for a second and giggles before squeezing your thigh.

“Stop looking at me like that,” he says sheepishly. “I can’t handle that look in your eyes.”

“What look?” you ask, fully aware of what look it is. But it’s always fun to hear him describe it.

“Like… like you’re…” he says between glances. “Like you love me. A ridiculous amount.”

“Like you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen in my life?” you add.

“Yes, that,” he says with a laugh. “It’s making me nervous. And… excited. I have to focus on driving and you’re over there looking at me like that — it’s so distracting.”

“Fine, fine,” you surrender and smirk. “I’ll save my lovey-dovey eyes for when you’re not operating a murder machine.”

“Thank you, my love,” he says appreciatively, reaching for your hand to bring it to his lips. “So, as I was saying… seafood. What do you think you’re gonna eat?”

“I’m not sure,” you say, shifting your glance to the road. “Clams definitely. Oysters maybe? Do you wanna share something?”

“Yeah, that sounds good. I’d love to share with you,” he says, squeezing your hand he still holds between the two of you.

The rest of the drive isn’t long, but keeping your eyes on the road is agony. Every brush of his thumb on the back of your hand fills you with raw emotion you need to channel back to him, but you fight to keep your eyes to yourself for the sake of his sanity — and your lives, apparently.

The car pulls into the parking lot, and he finds a spot easily. Once it’s in park, Chan removes his seatbelt, shoots you a wink, and says, “hold tight.” He exits his side, shuts the door, and hustles over to the passenger side where he opens the door for you with a slight bow.

“We’ve arrived, my lady,” he says and holds his hand out for you.

“Oh, thank you, good sir,” you reply, placing your hand in his to help you out of the car. “What a lovely gentleman you are.”

He shut the door, places his hand at his waist and holds out his elbow for you to take.

“Shall we?”

“Of course.”

You walk arm in arm toward the entrance, both smiling wide as you ascend the stairs.

“Good evening, sir and madam,” the host greets in a similar — but less sarcastic — tone of voice. “Do we have a reservation this evening?”

“Yes, should be under Christopher,” Chan answers.

“Ah, yes. Mr. Bahng. We have you in the private room this evening.”

“Oohhh, the private room, huh?” you whisper in his ear. “Ok, rich ass.”

He holds back a smile but squeezes your arm as the host extends his arm and gestures to follow him.

You weave through tables and up stairs and around hallway corners until the man opens a tall door and steps to the side so you can enter. Inside is a table for 4, but with only two seats. A small chandelier hangs from the tall ceiling, and the windowless walls are nearly bare, except for a themed photo or two.

“Will this do, sir and madam?” the host asks politely.

“Of course, this is perfect, thank you,” Chan replies. “Will a waiter come to us, or…”

“Yes, sir, they’ll come by and knock before entering.”

Oh, you sly piece of shit.

“Sounds perfect, thank you so much again,” Chan says.

The waiter nods and steps out of the room, closing the heavy door behind him.

“You fucking…” you tease, slapping Chan’s toned arms lightly. “Private room? The waiter has to knock? So pretentious.”

“Listen, I didn’t know it was this private, but yeah,” he defends himself, but his face softens again when he pulls you into his chest. “What’s wrong with a little privacy, huh?”

“You better be good,” you warn, looking at him sternly.

“I will, I promise,” he smirks, but then he holds you tighter and kisses your neck just below your jawline, so you’re almost certain his fingers must be crossed.

“Yeah, ok, sure,” you say sarcastically and lift his head to plant a quick kiss on his nose before heading to your respective sides of the table and sitting in the outlandish chairs — they’re almost like mini thrones.

“Well, these are… a lot,” Chan scoffs and turns his attention to you. “But they do suit you well, my queen.”

“And you, my king,” you say, barely holding in a giggle.

A knock at the door ends the role play — for now — and a waiter enters with two glasses and a bottle of wine.

“Good evening, can I get you two anything else to drink or eat?” he says politely as he pours your first glasses.

Chan skillfully orders a bottle of champagne, a tray of oysters, clams and other shellfish, and a pasta dish. The waiter takes note and leaves almost as quickly as he came.

“Wow, ok,” you say in amazement.

“What? Not happy with the selections?” he replies with a grin.

“No it’s fine, that was just… quick,” you marvel and pick up your glass, taking a sip of the Malbec.

“Yeah, hopefully the food comes quickly, too,” he says, then his expression turns much more serious, seductive even.

“Until then… wanna come sit in my lap?”

“Hm?” you ask. “You want me to sit in your lap… in a fancy restaurant?”

“Well, it is a private room…” he muses and grabs his glass, taking a sip and pushing his chair back from the table. Even confident Channie can’t help but blush when he gets excited, and you can’t resist those rosy cheeks.

“Well… will you? Please?” he repeats the question.

“… just because you asked nicely.”

You stand from your chair and slowly round the table to his seat, standing above him for a few seconds before lifting your dress enough to straddle his legs.

“Hi,” you chirp once your faces are only inches apart. “How are you?”

“Better now,” he says with a grin as he placed his glass back on the table and snakes his arms around your waist, pulling you closer so your noses touch. “How are you, darling?”

“I’m ok, a little hungry,” you answer, wrapping your arms around his neck and rubbing your nose against his. “You smell amazing.”

“So do you,” he says softly, leaning forward to inhale your exhales. “So sweet… I want to taste you.”

His lips gently press against yours as his palm travels up your back and stops at the base of your neck. His fingers close around it just enough to keep you steady, to keep you close.

He opens his lips then, slipping his tongue out to run along your bottom lip. Your tongue meets his there before returning to its original position to let him explore.

Soft sighs and moans bounce back and forth between your mouths as the kiss deepens. Heads tilt to gain better access, and hands travel to necks, to hair, to cheeks… to hold, to stroke, to savor.

Both of your eyes are squeezed shut, too overwhelmed by your other senses to process anything else. And you don’t need to see to understand the map of his mouth. It’s a place you’ve been so many times before. A place that stays with you even when you’re away. A place that feels like home.

Your mouth tastes like wine, but as more of his saliva sits on your tongue, the flavors change. The acidity drops away almost entirely, letting notes of vanilla, dark chocolate and blackberries shine through.

“Mmm,” he hums, breaking the kiss for just a second. “This wine is delicious.”

“I was just thinking the same,” you say, amazed for the millionth time how in sync you are. “Want some more?”

He nods, and you turn to grab his glass from the table and hand it to him. But he holds his hand up,l and gestures for you to drink.

“No, you go ahead, baby,” he says. “But don’t swallow it.”

Your eyes narrow at him, but you do as he asks anyway, taking a sip and letting the liquid slosh around between your cheeks.

“Good girl,” he says. “Now, come here.”

He places his palms on either side of your neck, pulling your mouths together once again. He presses his bottom lip firmly beneath yours and uses his tongue to separate your lips, letting wine spill from your mouth into his.

Your bodies stay eerily still as the stream falls between his lips, onto his tongue. If a waiter walked in right now, he may think he stumbled upon an ancient stone fountain, lovingly crafted by skilled and passionate hands.

The last drop falls, and his hold on your neck disappears. He closes his lips and lets the wine sit on his tongue for what seems like hours, though it was only a few seconds. Then he swallows.

“Hmmm,” he hums, his face scrunching up. “Vanilla… berries?”

A smile spreads across your face.

“I got that, too. Blackberries,” you say excitedly.

“Oh, yeah, that’s it,” he confirms. “Blackberries.”

He looks up into your eyes and sends that same smile, that same expression of understanding and love, right back at you. And you’re so synchronized, you dive back in to taste his lips at the same time he does, roughly bumping foreheads and noses in the process.

“Ow! Fuck!” you exclaim, moving your hand to the bridge of your nose to assess the damage.

You clearly got the worst of the collision, though, because he just sits there smiling and giggling.

“Come here, dumbass,” he says softly, placing one big hand on the back of your neck to guide you safely back to his lips.

His lips are softer now. Maybe it’s the wine, maybe it’s the swelling. But it’s like closing silky pillows between your lips again and again and again. There’s something so comforting, so safe, about being trapped there.

“I love you,” he mumbles into your mouth, too entranced to bother breaking the kiss for three small words.

And you’re too lightheaded to even form words, so you settle for a soft moan in reply and let your fingers find his hair.

You run the soft strands through your fingers and lure sweet sounds from his mouth, like you’re playing with a marionette. Pull this strand, he moans. Pull that strand, he sighs. Rub his scalp…

The hand on your neck travels down slowly, between your shoulder blades, and follows your spine down to your ass. He grips one cheek and squeezes just enough to make you groan. He knows how to pull your strings, too.

That hand travels forward now, around your hip to the top of your thigh. It sits there for a few seconds, enough time for its owner to slide his tongue behind your teeth, feeling every ridge as he goes.

He must’ve found some confidence there, because he takes that big hand and slides it over and down, between your legs.

You stifle a moan at the same time a knock sounds from the door. The knob twists before he has time to lift his hand out from under your panties, let alone get you off his lap and back to your seat. As the door swings open, Chan whispers in your ear.

“Looks like somebody’s getting a big tip…”

…continued in part 2...

[boyfiechan]

Oh, the things I would do to see how Bang Chan is day-to-day, absolutely laid-back and completely unfiltered. Honestly, I'd even say that I just want to know how Christopher actually is—how he speaks when he doesn't have to worry about how it sounds, the jokes he might make when he's around people who get them, and his opinions on the most random, unhinged topics we could ever come up with.

There's just something about him that's so interesting and captivating and so enticing. He seems like the type of person you could sit down with, have a drink, and hold a conversation with for hours on end. I don't mean idol Chan. I don't mean famous Chan with designer clothes, makeup, and lots of lights on him. I mean curly-haired, bare-faced Chris in near-dim lights—the one who wears a hundred versions of the same black hoodie and seems to have more shorts than anyone I've ever met in my life. The one who mentioned the importance of sex ed naturally on live, the one who seems to have a lot of opinions to share about the Kendrick vs. Drake thing, the one who talked about how much he misses his friends back home and grew up between cultures, showing interest in many more.

I just want to get to know him, you know?

[wildlife4life]

Fuck-It Friday Coda

Here is my 7x01 coda that I'm also counting for Fuck-It Friday! So thank you for the tags @theotherbuckley @wikiangela @jesuisici33 and @diazsdimples! Posted to ao3 here.

“How the talk with Chris go? He still seeing being a two timer?” Marisol asks with a sly smile.

Eddie blows out a harsh breath, “There wasn’t much of a talk on my end.”

She quirks an eyebrow, “Oh? You just letting him work it on his own?”

He shakes his head, “Oh god no. That would have just made an even bigger mess.” Eddie has to look away from his girlfriend as he admits, “Actually I asked Buck to talk to him. He has some um... experience with the whole ‘player’ thing.”

Marisol’s wine glass smacks loudly on the coffee table in the silence that follows, and Eddie barely holds back a wince. Still, he doesn’t look at her. He never does when speaking about Buck.

“You had your newly single best male friend, with a history of getting around, talk to your son about not doing the exact same thing?” Marisol sound appalled and it has Eddie whipping around to see her actual reaction. His girlfriend looked upset and disgusted? What is that about?

“Um, yea. Buck has the insight into all of that and he’s reformed and all that.” Eddie tries defending.

She scoffs, “Reformed? Didn’t he just break up with his last girlfriend because he got bored.”

Well, that was a very poor recount of events that had already been poorly told by Buck and Eddie felt the low simmer of burgeoning anger, “Buck did not get bored. He was trying to live, move on from his death, and all that woman was doing, was being a constant reminder of it.”

The anger rises at Marisol rolling her eyes, “Like I said, bored. But that’s not really the point here.”

He grinds his back molars, “What is the point then, in your opinion?”

She narrows her eyes at his tone, “The point is Christopher isn’t going to learn to respect women, be a courteous young man by talking to a man whose disastrous dating history is printed in a best-selling book by someone from said history. He’s Christopher’s fun friend, the guy he goes to when he doesn’t want to get in trouble and you’re feeding into it.”

Eddie slams his beer to the coffee table, making Marisol’s almost empty wine glass wobble from the force, and rises his feet, “After me, Buck is one of the most important people in Christopher’s life. You have not a single understanding of what they are to each other, what they have been through. What Buck has personally been through. He is not some womanizing asshole corrupting my son. He is Christopher’s best friend; my best friend, and the person I know I can turn to when I need help with Christopher. With anything.”

Marisol rises to her feet, “And you’re allowing him to continue take up the space I am trying to get into. I thought we we’re getting somewhere when you invited me to chaperon Chris’s date with you, when you opened up about your worries about him. But instead of letting me try to help you ran to a person you can’t bring up without looking away.”

He immediately proves her point and puts his gaze on the fireplace mantle, eyes roaming over every photo. There several of just him and his son, pre-LA to just last year before Christopher’s school dance. There are pictures of their family back in Texas and the entirety of the 118. Then there are photos with Buck. Christopher and Buck at the zoo. The trio of them at the mall fountain. Eddie’s graduation. Christopher’s 10th birthday. And second to last, Eddie and Buck, arms around each other’s shoulders at Hen and Karen’s vow renewal. At the end of all those photos sits the last family picture of Eddie, Christopher, and Shannon took at the beach.

Eddie thinks back on the picture Christopher turned down on his desk and the letter he almost didn’t read. He thinks about how his first instinct was to turn to Buck and not the girlfriend who witnessed Christopher’s player antics, someone who could give insight on how those girls felt. And then he realizes, Christopher wouldn’t have opened up about his mother to anyone, but Buck.

That space Marisol is trying to fit herself into, is too large, too broad, and perfectly Buck shaped.  She would never fit.

With a sense of déjà vu, Eddie drops his gaze to floor and softly states, “I think you should go.”

💜🩷💜🩷

Wine glass rinsed out, beer bottle in the recycling, and a reusable tote bag just barely filled with Marisol’s few items left at his house sat near the door, Eddie relaxes back into his couch.

Marisol put up a lack-luster fight to leaving, but eventually she drowned the last of her wine and called an uber. “He’s not going stick around forever. He’s going to break both yours and Christopher’s hearts.” She warned, “And you’ll be just as alone as you were in the hardware store.”

Eddie held back a harsh retort and simply told her, “I haven’t been alone since I met him and I never will be if either one of us has a say about it.”

He opened the door, Marisol got into a little gray sedan, and she went back to the home Eddie helped destroy.

Picking up his phone from the coffee table, Eddie pulls up his contact favorites, smirking humorously at Marisol’s missing name, and presses the person at the very top. It rings twice, before, “Hey man, thought it was date night?”

“Asked her to go home.” Eddie replies.

Silence on the other end for a just a moment then, “Man, you really need to find a better way to break up with women.” Buck teases.

Eddie chuckles, “Well at least there was no mess to clean up this time.”

Buck hums in agreement before softly asking, “You doing okay?”

Not a single lie passed his lips when he answered, “More than. But you know what would help?”

“What?”

“Go-karts in the dessert.”

A laugh that makes Eddie feel warm all over, “It’s a date.”

Hope you all enjoyed! Tagging (no pressure): @daffi-990 @exhuastedpigeon @fortheloveofbuddie @rogerzsteven @disasterbuckdiaz @tizniz @lemonzestywrites @evanbegins @buck-coded @devirnis @glorious-spoon @thekristen999 @spotsandsocks @cal-daisies-and-briars @aroeddiediaz @hippolotamus @sunshinediaz @watchyourbuck @lover-of-mine @hoodie-buck @elvensorceress @gayedmundodiaz @giddyupbuck @jeeyuns @bekkachaos @buddierights @try-set-me-on-fire @rainbow-nerdss @thewolvesof1998 @eddiebabygirldiaz @spaceprincessem @eddiiediaz @honestlydarkprincess @doublecheekeddiaz @prosperdemeter2 @transboybuckley @nmcggg @monsterrae1 @loserdiaz @perfectlysunny02 @dangerpronebuddie @missmagooglie

[buckleyblueyes]

yeah, yeah the Diaz family finding out about the Will would be juicy and dramatic, for sure. but you know what I kind of can't stop thinking about? Tommy finding out. Not only an outsider POV, but a queer outsider POV, seeing buddie at their most codependent? oh the drama potential.

Cause, at this point, from Tommy's POV he's dating this guy, and he knows he's really close with his bestie, and with his bestie's kid. but that's fine. they've been through a lot together and Tommy understands the bond that is often forged among first responders. and Buck's bond with Chris is sweet, makes him more attractive.

and then one day Eddie gets gravely injured and is hospitalized, and his boyfriend steps in to take care of his kid. no one in his life questions this. no one discusses it. it is assumed. it is natural. Buck knows exactly how to take care of Chris in Eddie's absence, how to navigate this house that isn't his, how to keep Chris's day to day going smoothly, in spite of it all. Buck is falling apart himself, but he pushes that aside to be there for this kid.

it surprises Tommy, because Eddie has mentioned an aunt who lives nearby, and after a couple days, Eddie's parents have flown in, and yet Buck is still staying with Chris. so Tommy asks, casually, if Chris doesn't have other family who could be taking care of him, if Buck has to be doing all this when he is clearly struggling himself. Buck just shrugs. "I mean, technically, but that's not what Eddie wants. it's not what I want, either."

what does that mean, that Eddie wants Buck to take care of Christopher? how does Buck know? so he prods further, not judgemental, but curious, not quite getting it. finally, Buck explains that Eddie put it in his will. if anything happens to him, Buck gets custody of Christopher. he explains, rather emotionally, how Eddie told him this after the last time he almost died, how Eddie trusted him to be there for Chris, to fight for him.

and Tommy has spent enough time with Eddie to know how much he loves his son, how serious this decision would be. that's Eddie's heart and soul on a silver platter. and suddenly, he understands. he looks at his boyfriend, eyes red from crying over another man. a man whose son he is caring for, whose house he is staying in, and he sees it with startling clarity.

and, in a reversal of bucktaylor getting together at the end of season four after Eddie was shot, this becomes the impetus for the (hopefully amicable) buck/tommy breakup.

[sunboki]

001. RECORD PLAYER LOVER — ANTHOLOGY

PAIRING. Christopher Bahng x fem. reader | WORD COUNT. 3.3k & 20 minute read | SERIES PLAYLIST. | WARNINGS. cursing | TROPE. enemies to lovers (somewhat), fishing town au, friends to lovers, coincidences, making-up (in a way)

( ✉️ ) — if you want an idea of where the small town boy! chan brainrot came from, seek this post back in july.. it only got worse from there(＞＜)

There’s a new guy working at the Record Shop you’d been to countless times as a kid. So when you show up and see a stranger working the register and not the sweet old man who’d give you lollipops, you’re not too pleased.

The last time a new face showed up in your town had to be before you were born, and as someone nearing twenty-one, that said a lot.

On the bright side, there wasn’t much judgment unless it came from choosing the wrong batch of strawberries in front of a grandmother, or perhaps that was simply your experience living here all your life.

Although, twenty-one years later, you didn’t expect for someone new to show up.

.

.

.

Familiar chimes clatter above your head while opening the door, bright blue label reading “Po’s Vinyl” decorating the windows and staining the tile floors an iridescent tone from the midday sunlight. It’s pretty, it’s ordinary.

Except something isn’t ordinary, because after a good few minutes or so of browsing, your normal stop by the register stops you in your tracks.

Clad in a black beanie with bouncy, tangled curls peeking from the fabric is a stranger. A stranger with toned arms and a pretty nose and kind features you stare at for too long.

But he’s not the grandpa, not Mr. Po who’s been dearly greeting you each and every day for more than twenty years.

Your stomach drops.

“Excuse me, excuse me,” You scramble to the counter, his warm pools for eyes flickering up with surprise. “Where’s the old man- Mr. Po- the one who works here?”

“Oh! Mr. Po? He retired a few days ago.”

Now your stomach decided to do backflips, and there’s a pit of nausea climbing up your throat.

Curse the boy in front of you for looking so happy-go-lucky. This moment is detrimental, why is he smiling? …And why is he cute?

Preparing to ask a billion questions, you pause, fixing the handsome man with an incredulous look before he catches onto your confusion.

”Sorry sorry, I’m Chris, ‘moved in last night. And you?”

Debating upon either running out the door right now to end up apologizing later, you crack a small smile you hope looks a tad bit more graceful than earlier.

Chris, huh.

“Y/n,” You reply, noting the soft dip of his dimples. “And uh.. you haven’t met Miss May yet, right?”

The question, coming off as more of a warning than anything, earns a sheepish shake of his head noticing your pitying expression.

Granted, the woman wasn���t that awful, she’s just.. Miss May. An unmarried, stubborn, seventy year old prune who will rightfully argue with anybody about anything and rightfully enjoy it. Not to mention her addiction to finding a suitable lover, and not just for herself.

Trust, once she lays eyes on this breathtaking hunk of husband in front of you she’ll never leave him alone. Might as well treasure your days until you’re stuck in the witch’s dungeon.

“Can I ask what you mean by that?“

Spaced out watching his lips move, you barely caught the question till he cleared his throat and every particle in your body resorted to self sabotage.

Way to make an introduction.

Opening your mouth to respond, you choke on your words, hastily run behind the counter and whisper-scream for him to duck at the sight of said woman passing by the window.

Speak of the devil.

At his attempt to peek out, your hand unconsciously forces his head down, slapping on your best “nothing to see here!” façade while the heel-wearing matchmaker saunters in.

“Why hello dear,” She casually drawls, thin brows raised.

The woman slowly grins, stepping forward to lean over the counter and peer down where Chris hides blinking up beside your calf.

“You can come out now.” She says with a chuckle, and he hesitantly raises up, face blooming pink.

Erupting with obvious delight, she claps her claws hands together, and you can feel the dread creeping in from a mile away.

“My my, I didn’t know you two knew each other- -“We don't!” Shouting in unison, you synonymously turn to each other, nothing but utter puzzlement etched across your faces. It’s like something out of a sitcom. Literally.

“He’s Chris,” Nervously, you refer to the man with an uncertain point of your finger, him doing the same.

You’re certain if this situation got any more awkward you may win a spot in the book of world records.

Miss May amusedly shook her head. “So you do- -“No!”

She might as well have been internally arranging a wedding by the way she stared through your souls, neither of you daring to move a muscle out of fear she might pop a ring out of her ass and declare you engaged if you breathed loud enough.

“Alright alright, I’ll leave you two to your business then.” Waving like some pretentious heiress, you make sure to mock the action once her back is turned—Chris stifling a bubbling laugh beside you when she finally leaves.

You have an itch this won’t be the last time she stops by. You’ll just pray it won’t be when you’re within a six foot radius of both this shop and the man next to you.

Sorry Chris, it’s every man to themselves with Miss May.

Brushing off your clothes, you step back slightly, not realizing how close you’d gotten to him before nearly bumping into the dark-haired man. And, in the least weird way possible (that's still weird), from your closeness, you discover he smells like the ocean. Not too salty, not too strong. Like the sea’s air clings to his clothing.

Considering he got here a day ago, he must’ve stopped by the harbor on his way here. Strange.

“I’m.. gonna go. See you sometime?” Heading toward the door, you spare a glance behind you, vision again magnetically pulled down to his lips—so plush and pretty, then back to those equally pretty eyes that crinkle when he smiles goodbye. A nervous habit.

Who knew a potential heartthrob would show up here out of all places.

Guess things were finally getting interesting.

Your trek home wasn’t too eventful, unless you counted locating Mr. Po, begging him to come back, and avoiding the severely bitter tea he kept offering—then yeah, not too eventful.

Jamming the key in your door and being sure to successfully waste at least three hours forcing the newest addition to town out of mind, you’d like to say by the time 6pm rolled around he was completely void of your thoughts, but the coffee stain on your shirt after imagining his face said differently.

Best part about not having a neighbor? Walking around without a top, bottoms, or anything on was always on the table. Sort of gross, but you get the picture.

Best part about not having a neighbor yet.

You should’ve put the pieces together sooner, because already halfway into pulling your shirt up off your head did you notice a pair of eyes meeting yours from the other, usually vacant house next door.

Chris’ eyes. Unmistakable and currently swimming with horror.

It wouldn’t surprise you if you looked the same right now.

Urgently yanking the fabric back over your body, you practically throw yourself down, met with nightmare-fueling reality and too much embarrassment to properly function nor rise from your squat on the floor.

Moved in last night, he’d said. But the one thing he forgot to mention was that he moved in right next door.

Fucking. Fantastic.

. ..

Over the next five days, you’ve come to the conclusion that Chris makes music. Or something involving headphones, his finger tapping a beat, and the occasional nod of his head to a rhythm—observations made from peeking out the window each evening.

It’s sort of mesmerizing watching him routinely click buttons. Like, in a sense, you learned the first clue about his life before telling him your name.

That is until he rises and you prepare to duck, fixated on his adam's apple bobbing when he swallows, pretty, still damp strands of dark hair crowning his forehead.

The last thing you need is for him to catch you ogling after having witnessed you half naked, something that would, quite literally, be the cherry on top of demolishing your ego.

Knowing him though (after only physically meeting once), he’d probably gladly forgive and forget, but you couldn't, and that was the problem. Couldn’t shake that incessant pit in your stomach telling you if it were anyone else you’d be able to move on.

Anyone other than him, other than Chris.

Something about him. There was something about him.

On the other hand, Chris couldn’t forget either. The image permanently tattooed in his brain for what felt to be eternity.

Not just your body (and also your body), but you, the incredibly attractive new acquaintance he’d met hours beforehand was, coincidentally enough, his neighbor.

And it didn’t take a genius to figure out you were avoiding him since, frankly, it was virtually impossible not to run into everyone in this town at least once a day.

He was a nice guy, so he gave you your space. Nevertheless, that didn’t keep him from picking some fun from time to time.

Like yesterday when he’d noticed you standing by your sink, repeatedly stealing not-so-sneaky glimpses.

Slyly deciding on honing the most nonchalant move in the book, he stretched. Rolling his head back, a tiny bit of his abdomen becoming visible when his arms raised up, and even sighing just to add to the ambiance.

Trying not to laugh had never been so difficult in his life.

Regardless, avoidance never lasted forever, and seeing you practically tiptoe around town was too obvious not to pay mind to.

So when the door to Po’s Vinyl creaked open during his evening shift, he craned to greet the customer, only to be met with bare space. Well, prior to noticing your hunched frame stalking through aisles, crouched down rather comically.

Biting his tongue, he watched you scour like a mad-woman, finally stilling in front of at a new arrival, the latest album restocked yesterday.

Turns out you were fated to run into each other again somehow. One way or another.

Maybe this was his chance to clear things up, or maybe that was the wrong move, maybe it would mess everything up and you’d move away and— Oh. You’re in front of him now, pale as a ghost and religiously averting eye contact.

“This,” You mutter, barely forming coherent sentences while sliding the album forward, hand wildly fishing through your bag in search of your wallet.

He stays quiet, periodically fixating on your expressions while scanning the barcode. Debating, contemplating.

“Hey can we—“

“Sorry! I really need to go to the vendors today, another time?” Scrambling, you snatch your purchase and rush off, ceasing to take note of the playful smirk painting his features.

He has an idea, an idea that may or may not work.

He’ll test his luck.

Spending the majority of his shift waiting for you to pass by again, he immediately locks onto your frame sprinting past an hour or so later.

Stepping from the store and calling out your name multiple times, it only makes you walk faster in response, leaving him to gradually catch up and move in front of you.

You try slipping past each side, finding yourself blocked every time. Your brows knit frustratedly.

“Y/n, can we talk, please?”

You sigh, stalling your movement to cross your arms and send him a taut gaze.

He can tell you hate this, hate standing here and especially hate his invitation, but the small, curt nod he got after a few seconds was enough.

Perhaps, that “maybe” would turn out true. The chance to clear things up.

He hoped.

. ..

“Look, I didn’t see anything.”

“Liar.” You grumble, jogging to keep pace without heading anywhere in particular.

If only you were a toddler and could throw a tantrum to get out of this due to simply being petty. Except you couldn’t. You were an adult, and you had to handle the situation like one.

What bullshit.

Flailing his arms helplessly, he tugged his jacket tighter against his body, the chilling air only dropping further as you neared the ocean.

“I’m not lying! Seriously!” Voice childish whilst avidly squirming around, the sound of gray rocks clattering beneath your shoes muffles your conversation.

He halts suddenly and you do the same, ceasing to acknowledge how far you’d aimlessly walked till the Lighthouse, located on the furthest side of town, looms above.

There’s a good minute of silence, interrupted by clearing his throat and simultaneously sending you a mischievous glance.

“Although,” He begins. “That red color was cute.”

You blink, watching as he gestures to his chest before swiftly dodging your swinging fist, looking mere seconds from exploding.

It’s sort of adorable.

Adorable in a dangerous, likely-to-kill-you way. But adorable.

Albeit expecting you to drown him, sucker punch him or suffocate him (quite possibly all three), you alternatively grab his hand, dragging him towards the Lighthouses’ entrance and up the winding rails.

Chris doesn’t interject nor pull away, face instead broken into a sweet smile while following you, observing you.

Arriving at the top that overlooked blue cascades, you sit down, not caring to explain with your knees pulled to your chest. He doesn’t mind.

It’s hard not to admire the endless abyss of water overwhelming every expanse in view, the moon’s glint scattering upon its surface. Wind whips your hair in wild directions, and it’s rather cold now above ground level.

Chris quietly hikes up the last few stairs behind you, easing off his jacket to drape around your shoulders—earning a hum of appreciation as he drops down on your right.

Silence.

“Hey, um, thanks.” He speaks, but his voice is softer this time, sadder this time, and if it weren’t for you two being mere inches apart you doubt you would’ve heard it.

“For what?”

“Nothing important. Just, thanks.” Peering at you with a tilt of his head, you decide not to pry, reflecting his subtle happiness.

Being completely honest, you don’t have the first clue of what Chris’ life was like before here. Somehow, it felt better staying that way. We all have secrets, and in a sense, this seemed to be his escape, his own secret.

Whatever his history entailed, you’re glad it led him to Seoul. Lead him to you.

“Awe,” You shove his shoulder lightly and the man pouts, cheeks dusted pink from the biting cold while his eyes stay trained on the sea, glimmering.

You sit there for a few minutes, listening, appreciating.

“Say, ‘wanna swim?”

The sky dark overhead, Chris gives you an incredulous look, wondering if you’re joking.

He’s quiet, eventually nodding and nearly toppling down the circular stairs after you, hastily pulling off your shoes to run through sand and scattered shells.

It’s stupid, so stupid swimming in freezing cold water at night.

Something the you who didn’t know Chris wouldn’t ever consider. But now he was here, currently taking off his shirt and— shit. He’s taking off his shirt. Holy shit.

Unfortunately, you weren’t given much time to be shocked (and mystified) before being picked up and literally thrown in, clothing and all very much intact.

Sputtering as you surfaced, you instinctively covered your top half, earning a giggle from the greek god of a man a few feet away, calf deep in the water.

“What’re you all shy for? ‘S not like I haven’t seen your—“ Now it’s his turn to be dunked, and you’re more than happy to force his curls into the water below, both drenched and shivering.

This is like a fever dream. Like you’ll wake up in your cozy bed to never have any of this happen in the first place. Never have had Chris happen in the first place.

Unable to contain the question, words basically pour out at an alarming pace the moment you open your mouth.

“Are you real?”

Because the moment feels too good to be true.

You both stop.

“Am I real? What, wanna find out?” He cockily points to his flexed arm, leaning your way while you shrink back, face contorted with disgust.

Best to have kept that one to yourself, but hell, you’d give in just this once.

Wading closer, you wrap your arms around his tummy in a sticky, uncomfortable hug. Chris doesn’t pull back though. Alternatively, he reaches up to pat the back of your head, surprised expression transforming into that of fondness.

You stay that way, wordlessly confessing so many things in a minute and a half as the stinging breeze seems to rattle your bones. Things you don’t have the courage to say aloud, things Chris understands all the same.

Walking home was a blur, filled with shapes and colors you barely recognized till the sound of a door opening knocked you back onto your feet.

Too cold to comprehend anything, you both race into separate rooms, coming to the realization this isn’t your home when searching for a towel to cover yourself.

Not your home, but his.

And you wonder if his setup is still situated directly in front of your window like normal. Wonder if, possibly, it was a coincidence you were now in the house you’d been staring daggers into for weeks, or if it all was a twist of fate.

How funny.

There’s quiet, childish interaction as he knocks on the door, sheepishly handing you a pair of his shorts and a t-shirt while his eyes stay glued to the floor.

Yet you can’t bring yourself to tease despite how bad the urge is, because he’s just him.

And you’re wearing his clothes. That too.

A hair dryer seated on his bathroom counter catching your eye, you pop your head out the door, yelling to Chris who’s busied himself somewhere in the living room.

“Hey Chris! Want me to dry your hair for you?” You shout, and he shuffles to make out what you said, practically lighting up witnessing you wearing his clothes.

The view is better than he could’ve ever imagined.

Laughter fills the air, all squeaky and high-pitched with you seated above him on the couch, occupying the floor while drying his wild curls that fly in every direction.

Clicking the off button, his head falls back to look at you, long eyelashes dusting and perfectly framing chocolate brown orbs. He’s practically glowing, and cupid has to be lingering nearby by how fast your heart thumps in your chest.

“…Can I spend the night?”

Whispering, you carefully place your hands on either side of his face, glancing back and forth erratically between his eyes and lips.

You don’t notice how close you are, a habit picked up from the start. He draws you in like a Siren, and you’re more than happy to senselessly follow his song.

His lips part, breathlessly uttering.

“Yes.”

And before you know it, you’re capturing his lips just as senselessly, kissing the man as if a near microscopic thread connected the both of you.

That is until Chris took charge, pulling your right-side up face against his upside down lips. Deeper, hungrier.

Crashing, like the moon-reflected waves you’d seen earlier. Messy and greedy, fervent. So many feelings, so many words without sound. You were good at doing that.

You’d like to admit it lasted for a few seconds, but from how you managed to somehow end up in his lap in the process, that definitely wasn’t the case.

“Here,” Chris says, handing you a warm mug of tea and settling beside you on the couch once you finally finished eating each other's faces, TV playing continuous episodes of Friends that numbly buzz your eardrums.

Neither of you spoke apart from exchanging drinks, atmosphere comfortable, exhaustion growing the longer you sat. Your eyelids began to droop before your head (unbeknownst to you) plopped onto his shoulder.

Initially Chris tensed, waking up from his own dazed daydream to marvel at the now sleeping beauty, you, cozied up against him.

He stared for a while, taking in what small interactions deprived him of. Those tiny details of you, the imperfect perfections. Beautiful.

Brushing a stray strand of hair from your face, he smiles—one that he can’t contain, one that hurts his cheeks from how big and bright it is.

“I’m so glad we met.”

> SERIES TAGLIST. @phtogravi @liknws @luckieleaf @jhstayy @meloncremesoda @chans1aptop @eternitywaveshello @meanergreener @ladylexis @love-gy-u @hanjingin @idkluvutellme @dark-anxel @yubinism @rachabreathing @seung-scrittore @fylithia @skzsupremacy @alrm02 @ener-energy @koliki @anskiiz @dprkbyn @bellamuerte1987 @ylixbok @hanjisung-enjoyer @youngunknownwitch @hwangflora @hanjiingin @starlost-andfound @taeriffic @flwerfield

sunboki, may 2022 ©

[riofann]

8. tempestuous

Tempestuous: characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion.

Previous Chapter

Thursday February 4, 2021

You walk into the bar, it was empty but he was there sitting facing the bartender. 

When he sees you he has a slight smile on his face and pulls the bar stool closer to him (A/N: We all know this infamous scene). 

“You rang?” He smiles but doesn’t say anything “What do you want?” 

He turns to face the bartender before facing you and smiling “Get her a tequila sunrise”  expecting you to object

You turn to face the bartender “a water please” 

The bartender nods and scurries away sensing the tension

“Why don’t you take a seat?” he pulls out the barstool so you could slide in Unphased by his gesture you say “No, let's just get this over with Rio. What do you want?” 

He takes in a deep breath and faces the bar, he hoped that with time you would have calmed down, he did, he had moved past it. 

“I need double the amount” he speaks before taking a sip of his drink 

“For how long?” 

He shrugs “I don’t know yet, I’ll let you know” 

“When do you need this to start?”

“Now” he turns to face you expecting a protest 

“Okay is that it? 

“Yea” he responds with his stoic expression 

With that you spin around and walk away

By the time you make it out the door the bartender had both drinks in hand “Oh uhhhh” 

“It’s alright, comp it” 

“Yes sir” 

Sunday February 14, 2021

“Where’s Rio?” you ask holding onto the bag, he had told you he was going to manage the pick up today 

Your phone vibrates right on cue like he is listening 

The man in front of you scoffs as if it is the most ridiculous question “He got a date today lady, it is valentines duh!” 

“Right” you say looking down at your phone and reading the text 

Rio: Got tied up 

“And I gotta go slap some cheeks so let's get this out the way” he says reaching for the bag 

“Right! Right!” you say handing him the money 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ later that day ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“And then he took me to this like pop up thing very romantic” Alicia babbles on the phone recounting her date with her boyfriend as you were all on 3 way between yourself,  Gia, and Alicia

“That's good!” Gia comments

“I’m sorry I’ve only talked about me. How was yours? Working?” she asks noticing you hadn’t added much to the conversation 

“Yeaaaa” 

She sighs “Sissy we really would like you to have someone up there” she comments

You sigh back “Sometimes things aren't in the books for all of us Ally” 

“That's not true! What about that guy? What's his name? Christian? No! Christopher! What about Christopher?”

You remain silent 

“Sissy?” 

“Yes”

“Christopher?” Gia asks

You blow out air “Well you know...”  

“Are you two back together?” 

“Ugh” you express in disgust  “no, we just aren’t a good fit for each other” 

“Why would you say that?” Alicia asked 

“It's a hunch but tell me what happened after the pop up”  you ask wanting her to get distracted again and it worked.

After you get off the phone with her not too long after there’s a knock at your front door. You look through your camera to see Rio standing on the opposite side. It was almost midnight. 

“Yes?” you say as you open the door 

He walks past you. “Hey mama” he greets you. You lock the door and follow suit to your usual meeting point in your home. The kitchen. 

“You asked about me” he comments 

You look at him confused, “I asked where you were because you said you would pick up today and I was told you had a date. I gave Antoine the money”

He nods taking a seat by the bar 

“What do you want?” still confused by why he even stopped by 

He dips his head down and laughs to himself 

“Still mad huh?” 

“Nope” emphasis on the p

He looks at you and squints biting back a smile but you could see the dimples 

“How’d your date go?” you ask with your back to him, you feel the urge to just slap him at any moment so you need to distract yourself  He chuckles, “Worried about my love life now?” He asks watching you walk past him to the living room to pause the movie, then back and stand across from him 

“Noooo” You shrug “Just curious” 

He hums “hmm” a pause “How was your date?” 

You scoff “You know damn well I was at the bar making many women happy for their mans last minute date” 

He laughs “Valentine with no date” 

“Yea, well welcome to my life, at least one of us had a good date” you beam at him “got that after glow and all” 

He frowns “What you talking about?” 

You reach and turn his head gently by the jaw “Your date made sure to leave a parting gift” You say as you point out the subtle imprinted pink lips on his neck

He goes to your bathroom to check and you hear the water running which makes you laugh “Aww don’t remove it, it was her gift to you” 

After he is done he leaves without say anything else to you. 

Tuesday March 16, 2021

“I was summoned” you comment as you slide into the bar

“Hello Y/N!”  Nick greets joyfully

“Nick” you greet

“Brother sin...” 

Rio interrupts “Cousin”

Nick playfully rolls his eyes “This guy with semantics”

You take a deep breath. There's silence at the table as you wait for them to tell you the reason for their visit.

“How was valentines last month?” Nick asks

You shrug “I worked, dropped the money, worked again, then I went home” 

He frowns “How sad no date”

“No but I'm sure you were aware of that, so what’s up? Why do we need to talk?” 

Nick holds a sly smirk on his face “a beautiful woman like yourself”

“Nick!”  Rio scolds

“What do you want?” you ask irritated 

Nick turns to face Rio “Well brother“ Rio sighs and looks away. Nick turns to face you “He's being shy”

“Nick” Rio warns

“What brother?” 

“Stop!” he orders 

Nick throws up his hands in surrender “Fine! Fine!” he turns to face you and looks at you for a brief moment before saying  “We want you to proceed with the second location” 

You shake your head “I can't. I can’t do that it's too soon” 

“Well seeing that all of this is your fault”

“Excuse me!?” “Nick!” both you and Rio say in unison 

He smiles “Yea you see, had you not betrayed my family we wouldn't be here in fact the second location would be open right now if it wasn't for you” 

“I was put in a tough position”  you argue 

He tilts his head from side to side “Yeaaaa buuuut” he looks at Rio “brother here told me he gave you an option out of this and you still chose wrong seems to me you are indeed responsible for everything cariño” he speaks adding salt into the wound 

“Nick stop” he shoots daggers with his eyes at him 

You put your hand up to stop Rio “No it's okay I accept” you swallow a lump growing in your throat, you feel your hands shaking in your lap.  You clear your throat before speaking. “It was my fault” you speak confidently “and I paid the ultimate price that I accept. But opening up the second  location right now will not be in the best interest for anyone. The community will not agree to this and feel like I used this as an opportunity and no one will think Cure is the best bar in town an....”

Nick cuts you off “Well that's your problem isn't it?” 

“It's not even a year since she...” 

“We know” he smiles  

You shake your head in disbelief “I won't do it, kill me but I’m not doing it!” you declare

He looks at Rio “you did tell me..” 

“I told you” he says cutting him off visibly irritated with Nick 

Nick turns to face you again “We have to wash more money” He looks between both of you “so one of you needs to come up with a solution for washing double the amount of money!” 

“Get someone else to do it, a different bar a different shop” you offer

He shakes his head “Uh Uh that won’t do cariño, everybody is sloppy you’re not” 

“I can’t wash double if there are no customers” 

He smiles at you “Again that’s a personal problem, it’s what comes with running a business Y/N” 

“No! That’s my final answer!” 

He turns to face Rio “Brother” “Nick” he calls his name jaws taught. You look between them was Nick who he answered to? 

“Yes brother you know she’s the only one” 

“Y/N” Rio calls your name

You gauff “I’m not doing it!  Fuck it I don't care” you pull out your phone “let me just tell my family I love them” 

Rio puts his hand on top of yours to stop you before he turns to look at Nick “We need to find someone else” 

He smiles at Rio “No I want her” 

“It's not gonna work cousin” 

Nick stands up “Brother. Then I suggest you two come up with a solution because whether you like it or not she will be running that second location” 

You watch him leave before you turn to face Rio, he doesn’t say anything, just hangs his head low before getting up to leave too. 

Wednesday April 21, 2021

You knock on the door and wait for him to open. You wave to greet him as he stands in the entry way

He smiles “Hey mama” stepping aside to let you in 

You step into his office at the warehouse “I got called to the office again. What did I do now? I have been giving Alejandro the money no questions asked” 

He chuckles. Spring was around the corner but not quite so you paired your wrap dress that had a slit in it with thigh high heel boots. 

“Got your money” you say placing it on the desk 

He snickers “Didn’t call you here for that” 

You sigh “Well I brought it anyway incase I was in trouble” you take a seat on the couch as he leans against his desk

You both say nothing as he stares at you taking in your outfit. It does make you blush a little. Maybe the slit was too high and you adjust slightly so that the extra fabric covers your exposed thigh. 

“So what's up?” the memories of what happened last time you visited him were rushing back and you wanted to be out of there as soon as possible 

He clears his throat “I wanted to talk to you”

“About?”

He takes in a deep breath “The second location” You roll your eyes “This again”

“I need your help darling, got people I answer to, and I need double the amount you giving me now”

You nod looking down at your nails “Odd how I’m always the one you run to for help. Don’t you have other people in this freaking “empire” of yours” 

“I do” he responds smiling “but you’re my girl”

You groan “I can’t open up the second location you know how people will react” 

“You don’t have to it will be under an LLC”

“LLC that people can find”

“No an LLC owned by another business, owned by another business and so forth”

“Great” you sigh “Black rock style” 

He smiles “You get it”

“But they’ll see me there”

He shrugs “You can be behind scenes all we need you to do is manage the money”

“Why can’t you find someone else?”

He smiles at you “I just told you, you’re my girl”

“I’ll have to be at there to do all that”

He shrugs “We’ll figure out a schedule, make up an excuse, say you’re just consulting. Helping them get on their feet”

You shake your head still not liking the idea itself.

He pauses before speaking knowing what the reaction would be “It's already been decided” You scoff “Figured from the last meeting. Your boss did sa....” 

“Y/N” he warns

“Why am I here? You could have texted this shit”

“Needed your buy in” he argues 

“Doesn’t matter if you get it or not does it? Since the decision was already made”

“Come on ma’ don’t be like that” You roll your eyes standing up “Need your expertise in design” 

“Where is it gonna be?” 

“Different location on the north side of town” 

“The rich area? You think they want a bar?”

He shrugs “they want something, that's why I need you”

You nod “Okay get a planner and designer then” 

“Nah can’t have too many people involved.” He pauses “you’re good at it ”

“You’re gonna pay me!” you demand 

He puts his right hand on his heart and smiles “Scouts honor” glad you didn’t put up much of a fight. 

You stand there for a second looking at him realizing that once again you went against your own better judgment. You agreed to do something for Rio. You were supposed to be firm and not budge! But somehow some way he forced your hand and you always conceded. It made you hate yourself. 

“You good?” he asks walking closer to you bringing you back to the present 

“I’m fine” you say before walking out of the office not waiting for him to respond. The disgust you felt for yourself was boiling over and you were not going to let him see you cry. 

Monday May 10, 2021

“What are you doing here? I’ve been doing as you requested your highness” 

He chuckles sitting next to you, it had been a while since you last saw each other. Probably for the best. You had been unpleasant to be around. You were short, sarcastic, and uncooperative to say the least. 

It was a slow night, tonight  and you could find a seat at the bar so you moved all your work to a corner by the bar instead of being cooped up in the office 

“Hey Mike” you call to your bartender 

“Yea boss?” “Get him a GodFather (scotch whisky and amaretto)”  you turn to face him “it’s his favorite drink” Just something you picked up on over the years. 

He smiles at you happily accepting the attitude from you 

You don’t say anything but return to the laptop you were ordering supply for the next month 

“I’m tired,” he declares while taking a sip of his drink. He didn’t want to continue being at odds with you let alone fighting with you. 

“Welcome to the club” you state, not looking up from the laptop you were in the zone and didn’t want to be distracted or the system would time out and you would find yourself restarting. He doesn’t say anything but sits there next to you waiting for you to finish. When you’re done you close your laptop and leave him. 

You return after 20 minutes with food in hand

“Oh I’m not” he goes to stop you 

“Please this is practically your second dinner and you don’t gain any weight you can eat, plus I need unbiased opinion on this” 

He bites back a chuckle and picks up the fork. You both sit in silence and eat your meals after you’re both done you ask 

“What do you think? Spiced Lamb Burger with Fennel Cucumber & Celery Slaw, for next month” You ask when he is finished eating

He nods “it's good, a little spicy” 

“You don’t like spice?” “Nah I don’t mind it, it was good” 

You nod your head “good” and take the plates from him. He doesn’t say anything to you and you both sit in silence drinking and looking straight ahead at the TV. 

You turn to face him and blurt out “What's on your mind?” you finally break the silence you hated when he lingered, it normally followed with him telling you bad news or asking for yet another favor 

He chuckles and turns to face you  “What makes you think I have something on my mind”

You shrug “Well you don’t linger unless you have something to say” 

He smiles and nods “think you know me now?”

You smirk “You have to know your enemies”

He laughs, throwing his head back “Now I'm your enemy?” 

“Mhm! Or how else would you describe this?” you gesture between both of you pointing back and forth 

He picks up his glass to toast “A partnership” 

You roll your eyes and turn to face the TV “Not this again,” Suspecting him to ask you for a favor  “somehow I’m the one that keeps getting fucked over, interesting partnership we got here” 

He sighs “cuz you don’t listen to me” 

You hum “mmm...... not true but whatever. Agree to disagree” 

He doesn’t say anything for a minute “maybe I just like being around you” 

You scrunch your face and turn to face him “Horse shit!” He smiles at you “I’m serious”

“You’re lying! You want something so out with it your highness!” 

His jaw flexes looks you in the eye “I’m telling you the truth Y/N”  

You roll your eyes “Flattery isn’t your thing, your highness” you go back to your phone to distract from whatever it was you were feeling

“You don’t believe me?” 

You shake your head “I have a better chance  believing in flying pigs.”

He chuckles “Why tho’?” You look at him and smile, in a sarcastic tone you say “For the same reasons you didn’t believe me when I told you I didn’t steal your money!” His smile drops immediately, he turns to face the bar taking in a deep breath “I guess that's just the reality of our partnership” you finish. This was the unpleasantness he was trying to figure out. It didn’t take this long for you two to be back to some kind of norm. But this time was different. He doesn’t say anything and like before you break the silence. “You’re back to lingering, great” you mumble 

He turns to face you “What did I do? I know you’re mad at me just tell me what I did” you were holding onto a grudge he couldn’t resolve.

“Look in the mirror” you say refusing to face him 

“I’m trying here Y/N” he argues 

You turn to face him “By fucking me over? Making me do the work of multiple people while you and your boss, your brother, your cousin, whatever the fuck he is to you can maximize profit.” You pause “You can get literally anyone else to do this shit for you”

He sighs “Doesn’t have to be this way” he counters “Well I’m not the limiting factor here, every chance you get you’ll throw your weight and guns into the mix” 

“It’s needed” he counters  

You beam and respond satirically  “You see it's not me! Good first step! Honesty is the best policy!”

“It is you sometimes tho’” You smile at him keeping the same tone “Well my apologies your highness” He sighs rolling his eyes “Stop calling me that, rather you call me a asshole” You laugh “I thought you wanted things to be better? It's a fitting name. It’s something you said, ‘to be the king you gotta kill the king?’ Did I get it right? Medieval yadda yadda yadda blah blah blah.” you pause to see his reaction, it got under his skin exactly what you were looking for “I don’t know maybe someone else said it” “Y/N” “Yes! Mr. Christopher Serraño! What can I do for you?” He looks at you with a blank face all though you could see the rage boiling from the glare his eyes were giving you “Too far?” He doesn’t say anything “Forgive me then I won’t say a thing, women are best seen and not heard right?” “Y/N” he warns 

You motion with your fingers zipping your mouth and turn to get back on the laptop. A few minutes later he gets up and walks out of the bar. 

(A/N: What yall think Y/N should have extended an olive branch or not? What would you do if this was you?) 

Authors Note: Please leave your feedback, again please don't steal. Only repost, like, or give credit.

XOXO Rose

Taglist:

@katymae12344, @yinmaggiorebass , @flirtyjen, @wnbweasley, @meadows5, @ffenthusiastt, @rio-reid-whoreee, @belezaya, @meera10, @aunicornmademedoit, @stilestotherescue, @thatoneasiagurl

[userautumn]

this fandom is annoying me so i'm going to say this once and then fuck off back to my shows.

on the topic of eddie's parents: helena has always treated eddie like he is an unfit parent. both of his parents have, but helena especially has led that charge. yes, his parents love him. i do not doubt that. but i said some weeks ago that i think helena/ramon would have been much happier raising eddie and chris as siblings rather than letting eddie be a father, and i stand by that. throughout the narrative, they have indicated time and time again that they think his choices are wrong—from their unwillingness to accept shannon fully, to coming outright and saying they think eddie is on a downward spiral and that he's going to crash and burn and take christopher with him. this is not an "Evil Parents" buddie conspiracy theory, this is a canon fact.

at every opportunity, helena especially has been trying to pry christopher away from his father. this is also a canon fact. in 2x18, after shannon's funeral, she tried to get eddie to bring chris (and himself, but eddie was most definitely the afterthought in that conversation) back to texas. in 4x14, eddie says to buck that his parents will fight for custody. and while eddie's relationship with his father has changed since the early seasons, this is still very much so a recurring theme in their dynamic.

so it stands to reason that helena would feel gleeful, or satisfied, or maybe even triumphant over the fact that she's finally gotten what she wanted. again, this isn't a headcanon, this is just common sense. she's been wanting chris back in texas for years, and now she's finally gotten her wish. i mentioned earlier that eddie himself is an afterthought in the conversation of the diaz boys' return to texas, and this remains true. helena favors christopher over her own son. this is also a canon fact. in 8x1, she sees her son sitting on camera at the saddest looking birthday party anyone's ever seen, and her response is "oh well! better luck next time! bye!" she doesn't offer to call him back later. she doesn't even look sad that he's sad. she simply continues about her day like her child is not suffering.

now, i still firmly believe that helena diaz loves her son. but if she has empathy for her him and the struggles he's facing—and has faced—she has yet to express it. this is also, unfortunately, canon.

having said that.

christopher is a teenager. he is not a little boy anymore. it was cute when he took an uber to buck's house because his dad made him mad, but this is quite a different situation. we've talked ad nauseam about the kim/shannon of it all because the trauma and betrayal of that is significant. but there are layers here. because it's not just that christopher thought his mom was back from the dead, it's also that eddie did what he (in christopher's mind) does best—he messed up a good thing right as christopher was getting to enjoy it.

9-1-1 is designed so that we, the viewers, are able to empathize with eddie's struggles. we're adults so, on average, we know why he makes the choices he makes and we can, on some levels, relate to them. even if we don't agree, we can understand the logic behind these choices. but christopher does not have the luxury of adulthood. and, if you put yourself in his shoes, his entire life since coming to los angeles has been extraordinarily unstable. some of these things were obviously outside of eddie's control, such as the tsunami and his dad getting shot. but they still happened.

so now, he is this fourteen year old kid who has lived through trauma after trauma, all the while witnessing his dad try to put himself back together after a lifetime of pain. and one of those ways eddie tries to put himself back together is by dating again. first, he dates ana and, objectively, ana was the perfect choice. she was smart. she was beautiful. she was good with kids. she was latina, which his parents/dad would have approved of, and christopher liked her very much. but then, just as it's getting good and looking real, eddie breaks up with her. again, we, the viewers, know why he did what he did. he was having panic attacks at the mere thought of being with her. but if you're christopher it looks like dad is pulling the plug on a good thing for no reason.

same as when eddie leaves the 118. we, adults, know eddie is struggling. hell, even christopher knows eddie is struggling. but we can understand the depths of the layers here. christopher didn't/doesn't. all he knew/knows is that, not only did his dad leave behind his job/his family/his stability, he did all that and cited him as the reason for that decision. which is why christopher said, "i never asked you to [leave the 118]." so now we fast forward to the present and we have eddie and this thing with marisol. they go on family outings, she moves in, and all these things start to feel like permanence. they start to feel like eddie has finally maybe gotten himself on solid ground and can start to enjoy his life again, or maybe for the first time.

and then he goes and cheats on marisol. with christopher's dead mom.

so we can see the multiple layers of this situation.

eddie loves his son, christopher loves his dad, and eddie diaz is a good parent. i will stand by that to the day i die, and all of these things are overwhelmingly evident. but that doesn't change the fact that the most stable home christopher has ever known is the home he lived in with his grandparents. which is sad. it's really sad to say, because we know eddie has tried so hard for that boy in so many ways. as a single parent, raising his kid to the best of his ability was so much more a full-time job than he was prepared for. but he did it. he strapped in and did the work of two people and, in doing so, it became imperative that, above all else, he gave his son a safe place to land and didn't give him reasons not to trust him because, at the end of the day, eddie is the only parent christopher has.

but eddie's broken that trust. and now, he has to live with the consequences. but let's be clear, the consequences in question are christopher's absence. helena's satisfaction over having chris in texas is an enormous insult to painful injury that must be addressed by the narrative if they ever want me to like her or believe she has eddie's best interests at heart. but this situation, in typical 9-1-1 fashion, is one in which multiple things can be, and are, true at the same time.

but relative to the matter of christopher and what he's "allowed" to do? eddie's lucky his son is even taking his calls, and he knows that. so he's going to continue to do the work to earn that trust back because he's never done anything but put in 1000% for his son. and that is also a canon fact.