#oh and the movie canonically took place in 2020

[thedawningofthehour]

If anyone's ever distressed over the current situation in doth just remember that in the canon storyline, they're getting invaded by aliens right about now.

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

Have you heard? Disney is making another Lion king, but this time, it's a prequel, and it's going to be about Mufasa's backstory. Which i think it's very interesting. i'm open to seeing how they're going to show/represent the movie. Even though it's coming out of nowhere? A prequel after all these years?

I've also seen a lot of criticism about the movie, even though it's not even out yet. A lot of fans are disappointed that Mufasa and Scar/Taka (interesting how they're using "Taka" instead of "Scar") are no longer blood related brothers, but instead, both are orphans which doesn't make much sense since in the original Lion king Mufasa comes from a lineage of royalty and gives Simba a speech talking about “great kings” and “let me tell you what my father told me” I'm open to new ideas and stuff but i don't know how to feel about it. Maybe it’s the nostalgia? This honestly feels like a cheap cash grab, and seeing how Disney has had quality control issues lately, it's either going to be a flop or not.

I'm just HOPING that they're NOT going down the "misunderstood villain arc" because I've had enough of it. if they’re going for the "Mufasa was adopted and usurper who took Scar's rightful place at the throne! Showing that Scar was right all along."

What do you think?

Oh, I’ve heard of it! I’m not that interested in watching though. I’ll probably just wait for it to come out while praying that TWST gives us free stuff in a promotional campaign and listen to some commentary or review channels give their takes.

According to Wikipedia, Mufasa: The Lion King is supposed to be a sequel to the 2019 live action adaptation, not the original 1994 animated film. The prequel film was confirmed in September of 2020, which isn’t that long after The Lion King live action movie came out. They’ve been steadily releasing new information about Mufasa, such as voice cast reveals in 2021, 2022, and April 2024. It was officially announced and title dropped in 2022 during the D23 Expo. It’s possible that the film took longer to make due to the pandemic and worker’s strikes that occurred between 2020 and now.

On the Scar/Taka thing, I believe “Taka” (I’ve also seen “Askari” in some sources) is Scar’s given name and “Scar” is a nickname Mufasa gave him following an incident in which Taka was as tricked and attacked by other animals, which was the origin of his scar. This information comes from The Lion Guard (a series I haven’t watched myself; this is what I was told by a friend who has). If Scar is being called “Taka” in Mufasa (and assuming The Lion Guard is canon), then that means Mufasa must take place prior to the brothers’ relationship souring and him getting his signature scar.

I watched the trailer and… the phrasing is quite odd??? Now Mufasa is “a lion born without a drop of nobility in his blood”. That implies he and Scar aren’t blood-related. In real life, that makes sense since it’s usually the strongest lion that leads the pack rather than the eldest. Scar has a line where he says Mufasa got the brawn whereas he got the brains, so it sort of supports this idea. However, making it so that Mufasa and Scar are unrelated orphans within the Lion King universe doesn’t make sense if you hold that up next to the already established lore. They imply multiple times that Scar lost his claim to the throne when Simba, Mufasa’s blood-related son, was born to succeed him. So royal blood of the king is important??? The only way Scar could take over was to eliminate those in Mufasa’s lineage. It’s possible that Mufasa’s speech to Simba about the “great kings” and his own father could be in reverence or to show love for his adopted dad or pack…? But that makes those scenes a lot less impactful. Additionally, part of the reason why Scar’s actions are so evil is because he committed fratricide. He turned against his own blood brother, then manipulated his nephew, whom he also shares blood with, into taking the blame. There’s something very visceral and cold-blooded about that—plus it adds to the Hamlet parallels.

Seeing as Mufasa is the titular character, I don’t think they’ll go down the route of intentionally making him the bad guy to Scar. Disney’s so shy about making its main characters morally grey or just bad people… though like you said, they might do it unintentionally because by writing Mufasa as an orphan, that means he’s an illegitimate ruler… meaning Simba is an illegitimate heir… meaning Scar killed/deceived those with no claim to the throne, so actually Scar was not in the wrong at all 💀 But technically it wouldn’t be Scar’s right to rule anyway because he’s not of royal blood either (since you said he's apparently also an orphan? I did not see this mentioned in the trailer though)??? Unless Scar is the one from a royal lineage and everyone else is just dead???

I think it’s still possible that we get something tragic between the two; blood does not determine everything. Mufasa and Taka could form a genuine brotherly bond that later falls apart. It doesn’t really make up for the retconning of current lore, but who knows 😂 maybe they’ll pull some of their old magic out and actually write a story that makes sense to lead into The Lion King. I’m not going to hold my breath though, the live action movies have never been that good to me 💦 I’m going to let the movie come out and speak for itself before I make any real judgments on its quality, as I don’t believe in jumping the gun (even given previous track records).

I wonder what this new movie’s lore would mean for TWST… Since Tamashina Mina was very inspired by The Lion Guard, that means (depending on how the film goes) Mufasa’s events could be retroactively integrated into TWST history?? It’s not a guarantee, but just something to consider.

[thefisherqueen]

Notes on Granada's Sherlock Holmes: the last vampire

This will be a tough one to follow for me! I barely remember anything about the story, except that it had something to do with blood, that a woman was wrongly and for rather racist reasons accused and that instead a young boy turned out to be the attempted murderer

Someone is burned alive in the opening scene? What? I don't remember this

"I'll stop if you let me kiss you". Wait. Isn't this her actual stepson? *a few minutes further* ok, that is not the mother, so not her stepson. Still very creepy behaviour from this boy. This comes a bit too close for comfort to me personally. People very rarely talk about it, but children can be the perpertators of sexual violence sometimes, as was the case for me

Ok, the next scene cheers me up. Laughing so hard about Holmes dressing up as a vampire and scaring the hell out of Watson

Why is everyone so scared of that grave looking man dressed in black? Don't understand that yet

Holmes, highly randomly: "This cup and saucers has been here for three days" he's so ADHD

Holmes: "Everything is better than this stagnation" *flops dramatically down in a chair* *assumes even more dramatic pose*

Poor Watson, he just wants some tea while Holmes is infodumping

Seems like Jeremy Brett and Edward Hardwicke had the time of their lives acting this whole vampire scene, I love them so much

Holmes: "The world is big enough for us, no ghosts need apply" Ah, I remember that quote!

Why am I not convinced by Holmes' reason for being in possesion of vampire teeth? Never heard Holmes say 'uhm' so much *mind goes wild with possibilities* I really want to know that the team's thoughts were! Watson: "Did you put them to use?" Almost convinced Watson discovers he has a vampire kink here

Client: "Thank you young man, I'm not quite in my grave yet" Haha, love a fiesty old man

I adore Brett and Hardwicke exchanging glances and trying not to laugh as the forgetful client rambles on

Ah, there's the first death. Looks quite dramatic with all the blood! And oh, that stranger really had bad timing. And he's a descendant of a hated, cruel landowner who the villagers burned alive. Plenty of reason I guess for the villagers to be suspicious

So the baby died as well (they made this so much darker). Holmes and Watson go to the village to investigate and keep the village calm. Good concept, actually. Great expantion upon the canon story

Village life has changed so little over a hunderd years that I forgot for a while that this movie takes place in the victorian age, lol, until Watson named all the young influenza victims. Yeah, that was a thing back then. Not entirely related, but I wonder now how long it took before child deaths in villages really started to go down. The installing of sewers and clean drinking water supply made a huge difference here... but I wouldn't be surprised if it took a long time before all villages had the same fascilities as the cities. Anyway, as tragic as it always has been (and I read a lot of proza and poetry written by grieving parents), a baby's death still was nothing out of the ordinary around 1900. According to this graph on child mortality, 228 out of a 1000 children died before they were five years old in the UK in 1900. (compared to 4 in 2020. That's an astonishing difference)

Ohh, bats living in the countryside with lots of old buildings, suspicious!

The writer is very relatable. I, too, have a tendency to horrify the fellow people at my table with marcabre history and uncomfortable questions

Love the way Holmes enages the whole fucking pub. Loudy: "Surely there is no crime in this part of the country!" *dead silence*

The influenza epidemic running in the background really adds to the panicked atmoshere, that was a clever choice

What was that sudden hallucination (??) at the ruin? *some time later* Oh, all right. Glad they went with actual optical effects this time

I love the scenes where we get to see Watson in his role as a doctor, visiting patients - calm, caring, competent. Such a wonderful exploration of that side of his character

Oh, the writer himself is dead now too? That was quite sudden and unexpected. Damn. I liked him. He was creepy but in a good way. Third death and counting, because of course it's not over now

I hate how realistic this whole panicked reaction of the village feels. People see causal relations where they don't exist and do wild, irrational things when they're scared, we've all seen it over the years. I can easily see a group of conspiracy theorists digging up a just burried man in the dead of night and moving him

I like how it's not necessary the Peruian artifacs and beliefs that are portrayed as in themselves creepy, but what they become in the hands of two white people. I think you can certainly argue it's a portrayal of cultural appropriation

The finale felt a bit rushed compared to the middle part. Still satisfying, but why kill the boy off? (at least I assume he's dead). I would have loved to see closure in the village, especially for the parents because holy shit they lost both their children, and a bit more reflection from Holmes and Watson

I really loved this episode, it was so well done and may become one of my favs. Nice build up, delightful characters, a good balance of fun and eerie things. The only thing I can find fault with is that the timing was just a bit off, the middle part a bit to long and the ending a bit too short. Classic period horror movie meets detective story

[cblgblog]

So my issues with Irondad are well documented at this point, starting from their very first scenes. Specifically the utter tone deafness of Peter’s recruitment, by both Tony and the writers. Tony starts the movie being blamed for the death of a 20-year-old kid who was in the wrong place, wrong time in Sokovia. That accidental death that can be put down to negligence on his part, is pivotal to what happens next. So pivotal he uses it in his pitch for why the other Avengers need to sign the Accords.

Tony, midway through the movie, deliberately brings a 15-year-old child into this conflict. A child he blackmails into going with him, because if you don’t, I will tell your aunt.

Charles Spencer was an innocent civilian, wrong place, wrong time in Sokovia. He died. That tears Tony up, as it rightfully should. And yet, in the midst of his crusade about following laws and accountability, he lies to May Parker about taking her 15-year-old nephew out of the country and into a warzone. Ignoring some well-established laws about child soldiers.

Tony blackmailing a child who’s had his powers for 6 months into participating in this conflict makes no sense. Ever. It especially makes no sense in the context of Charles Spencer and his mother. Yet neither Tony nor the writers seem to comprehend this. Which is why Irondad has been bullshit from the start. Blackmail and kidnapping are not sweet, father-son moments, even if you ignore the fact, as the MCU wants to, that Peter had a father already, in Ben Parker. He has a loving adult parental figure in May Parker. Both of whom cared about him before he had spider powers that might be helpful to them.

All of this, I’ve said before, so have others. And then I realized that I actually hate Irondad more than I thought. That Feige and co. mishandled it even more than I thought, and why? Because of this.

We know the story. Peter was, supposedly, this kid Tony saved at the Stark Expo in Iron Man 2. Started out as a fan theory, and then was confirmed that yes, this is true, this is exactly what we intended.

Now, we know Civil War had different writers/directors than Homecoming or FFH did. We also know that, for all the lip service of, ‘It’s all connected,’ we know that the creatives in these different franchises do not always talk to each other, and that they often blatantly contradict each other.

Taking all that into account, acknowledging that…the dumbasses at Marvel did not think up the idea of Peter being the Iron Man 2 kid. They heard the theory, thought it was cool, then took credit for having meant that the entire time, yes, that was totally us.

We know this because it is never mentioned in canon. All those Tony and Peter interactions, all those times of yes, Mr. Stark, I just want to be like you, Mr. Stark, and Peter never mentions that? When Tony takes he suit from him in Homecoming and Peter says that he just wants another chance, wants to be like Tony, would he not mention that hey, you saved my life, Mr. Stark. You saved my life and I just wanted to be like you, and now I can be, now I can save lives like you, just please give me another chance.

If the Iron Man 2 theory were true, would he not say that? In FFH, when he’s all guilt-ridden, I didn’t save him, would he not mention that hey, he saved my life before I was Spider-man, before I was special, before I was anyone?

Now I know what you’re thinking. The Iron Man 2 thing isn’t that big a deal. It’s not a crucial thing. And you know what, you’re right. It isn’t, it’s just always annoyed me, in an eyeroll way, that the same people who couldn’t count properly between 2012 and 2017 (8 years later flashing in giant letters across our screens means that Homecoming was meant to take place in 2020), that these same people who let something so blatantly timeline breaking get through then took credit for a kind of cool, kind of clever fan theory. It’s annoying.

I’ve now realized, however, that it is far more than annoying to me. Because TPTB at Marvel did not think of that idea for themselves, but if they had, and if they’d run with that idea? If they had, it would’ve made Peter’s recruitment in Civil War so much more fucked up than it already is, but so much more interesting. So, so, so much more interesting.

I’ve talked about why Spidey’s own movies (as much as you can call them that given the level of Tony infiltration) prove that the theory isn’t true. Now let’s go to Civil War. Different writers, yes, but let’s talk anyway about why we can tell from CW that Peter was not that kid.

He gets home. May is like, look who it is, Tony Stark. Not, look who it is, the hero who literally saved your life. When Tony locks himself in Peter’s room with him (still fucking gross, Jesus Christ), Peter is just, nope, I got no idea what you’re talking about. That’s—no, I’m not a superhero, no. He’s defensive. He’s apprehensive. He’s trying to figure out what fresh hell this is. He’s trying to hide stuff from Tony. If this is the guy who saved him at the Stark Expo, why this reaction? Why not, oh my god, you saved my life, I thought I’d never see you again, not, not up close I mean. When Tony asks him to do a thing, why is it not, well yeah, duh , you saved my life, where do we start? Or even, okay, I don’t really wanna do this, but, you saved my life, I owe you?

So, nobody wrote a fucking word of any of Peter and Tony’s interactions under the theory that he was the Stark Expo kid.

But what if they had?

Tony shows up at May’s place. He does not know who Peter is, in relation to their “meeting” before. He’s expecting to have to do some level of smooth talk to get in here but, nope. May’s just, oh my god, you saved my boy’s life, come in, come in!

We don’t know for sure that Peter was orphaned by the time of the Expo, but if we base it on comics and prior films, he likely was. Most versions seem to have him fall under Ben and May’s care between 2 and 6.  O1’ birthday means he would’ve been around 9 at the Expo. So, more than likely, Ben or May or both were the ones there with him. They may credit Tony with saving their lives as well.

So, Tony starts the movie being called out by a grieving mother. Going down this route, we’re at the midpoint…and here’s a different mother telling him how great he is. How he saved the most important thing in her life. How if Ben were here (May’s wearing her wedding ring around her neck btw, you can see it in the scene), Ben would say the same thing. Shake his hand. Hug him.

Now, Tony’s got a sharp ass mind, when it’s not clouded with booze or drugs or the like. Since he wasn’t wasted at the Expo, there’s a good chance that, given some details, he remembers saving this kid. He remembers how small this little boy actually was. He remembers how light this kid was when he grabbed him. It was a few seconds in a long ass night, that he hasn’t thought about in years, but to May Parker, it’s everything.

So maybe at this point Tony’s rethinking this. He’s remembering that little boy, realizing how young he still is. He pulled that boy from danger. And now here’s this woman who invited him into her house, told him how her husband just passed recently, things have been hard, especially for Peter but God, he’ll love to see you. Maybe Tony’s rethinking this, coming up with a way out, when Peter shows up. And then, aw hell. The kid’s just a mess of excitement and shock, possibly tears…okay now it’s just gotten harder to make an exit.

Let’s pause here to say that May Parker is not fucking dumb (“Cut the bullshit. I know you left detention. I know you left the hotel room in Washington. I know you sneak out of this house every night.”).

May is not dumb. Letting the 50-year-old dude go into her nephew’s room with him, alone? Arguably dumb, even if it is Iron Man. Letting him grab the kid for some Stark…thing, and take him wherever Tony said he was taking him on 12 seconds notice? Even more arguably dumb.  CW as it’s written dumbs down May’s character for the sake of an already questionable plot point. Especially since she literally says she’s not a fan of Tony in Homecoming. Yes, her comment there comes after the “internship,” her noting Peter’s distraction and stress because of it. But still, it’s fucking weird that she’d let this man take her kid out of the country, alone, in CW. It makes her dumb for the sake of plot.

But if Stark saved Peter’s life not so long ago? It at least makes a bit more sense. He’s a hero. Peter literally wouldn’t be here without him. Why would Tony hurt him now?

So, back to the scene. Peter’s probably less paranoid about showing his stuff to Tony. Probably not spilling everything himself, but when Tony notices things, Peter’s probably less panicked over it, more willing to confirm. Yes, he’s got these powers, okay? And he hasn’t had them for long, but he’s trying to do good, like Tony. He’s trying to do the right thing, like Tony.

Now, this kid has such literal hero worship going, and he’s so damn inexperienced, he admits that. And Tony’s still got Charles Spencer’s mom in his head. He’s dead, Stark. And I blame you.

Can Tony really take this kid—actual minor kid younger than Charles was—take him and put him on the field against the goddamn Avengers? That woman out there with the dead husband and the ring around her neck, what’s he going to say if Peter gets hurt, or worse? Sure the kid obviously has skills but, can he risk another grieving mom?

So, maybe Tony’s rethinking this. Maybe he can still get out of this, improvise a Plan B. But then there’s a text from Nat or Ross. Where are you? We’ve only got a few hours, what’s the play?

Special circumstances, nobody in that group is really gonna fight to kill…it’s special circumstances, and he can keep the kid mostly sidelined.

This time, he doesn’t have to blackmail Peter. He doesn’t have to threaten to expose his secret. Peter’s willing, either because he genuinely wants to, or he feels he owes Tony a debt. So there goes the dick factor of Tony literally blackmailing a child. And the lack of questions Peter seems to ask about what he’s fighting for, the acceptance of vague answers, that’d also make more sense in this context.

In this version, Tony is both more and less of a dick. He’s doing less active threatening and manipulation…but he’s also being doubly manipulative. His genuinely good deed gives him an easy in with the Parkers. He’s playing on the credibility of an earlier, at least somewhat better version of himself. One who saved Peter Parker and hadn’t yet ended Charles Spencer.

Look, I won’t lie, I legit don’t know what I’m saying anymore, except that Marvel sucks for taking credit for a thing that they definitely do not have credit for. Which isn’t particularly new for them, and wouldn’t particularly matter if the thing they took credit for (and didn’t do anything with) could’ve offered some interesting story possibilities.

[pineau-noir]

I posted 7,059 times in 2021

71 posts created (1%)

6988 posts reblogged (99%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 98.4 posts.

I added 597 tags in 2021

#drarry - 135 posts

#harry potter - 131 posts

#draco malfoy - 130 posts

#fic rec - 46 posts

#drarry fic rec - 43 posts

#my writing - 28 posts

#drarry fic - 26 posts

#lovely people - 24 posts

#drarry microfic - 20 posts

#martin my beloved - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 101 characters

#a 2013 movie about robots controlled by the power of love who fight gigantic aliens from the ocean???

My Top Posts in 2021

#5

saying yes (instead of no)

Lights, Camera, Drarry 2021 fic claim

Author: Pineau_noir (me!)

Prompt #: self-prompt, Schitt's Creek, 2015, series

Word Count: 21,022

Rating: Explicit

Warnings: canon typical alcohol and drug use, marijuana use, explicit smut

Notes: Thank you so much @static-abyss for the beta, @ladderofyears for the Brit pick, and the @lcdrarry mods for everything! Oh and fuck jk and her hateful and extremely dangerous words. I DO NOT stand with her- terfs can choke

Summary:

“It’s a general store that’s also a very specific store,” Draco grumbled. “Most people won’t realise this, but I want to market Muggle goods to the Wizarding world as well. I want something that will help boost the economy of the Hamlet and Muggles have so many amazing things we don’t have.”

Draco sighed again. “I think it would benefit everyone.” He glared at Emily. “But there’s not a single witch, wizard, or wix who will shop at a place owned by Draco Malfoy.”

“What if it’s owned by Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy?” Potter asked.

“That would be preposterous,” Draco mumbled. “Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy would kill each other before the store opened.”

“What if you didn’t?” Emily asked. Draco opened his mouth to let her know, they would indeed kill each other, but before he could say anything, she continued, “What if it turned into a lovely business?”

“There’s only one way to know,” Potter said. ���I really think this is a good idea, Draco."

Read it on Ao3

Sign commissioned from the incredibly talented and amazingly generous @dragontamerdame. Go commission them! You too can have beautiful art!!! 🎉🎉🎉🎉

108 notes • Posted 2021-06-16 12:10:54 GMT

#4

Omg @rockmarina found this picrew and it's literally the cutest fucking thing. So thank you so much for the general tag, I took it and ran ❤️

I feel like there's finally one that truly encapsulates the whole squishy mom vibe I've got, plus iced coffee!!

I'm gonna tag the hell out of this one because the people I know haven't been tagged yet!

@p1013 @veelawings @slytherco @cibeewastaken @the-sinking-ship @static-abyss @caroll-in @bluebutter-art @dragontamerdame @maesterchill @ladderofyears @xanthippe74 @shealwaysreads @tackytigerfic @fangqueen @gnarf @lqtraintracks and omg I know I'm forgetting people I'm sorry!!! But also please tag yourself if you want to do this one (and tag me because, I really do love seeing what people make)

Hey, now there's a link! 😂😭

119 notes • Posted 2021-03-09 17:43:01 GMT

#3

Hi! Idk if you care but the OP on the post about the German gymnastics team having unitards this year is a TERF

Y'all, why do Terfs have to ruin everything. I'll find the source myself and do that then

180 notes • Posted 2021-07-27 00:47:02 GMT

#2

As You Wish fanart by the incomparable @caroll-in

LOOK AT THIS ART!!!!!! I SWOONED

Um so, no big deal or anything, I definitely didn't freak out and squeak when I learned one of my favorite artists did commissions. And I really didn't daydream (for like an entire day) about what fic I might ask her to draw when I learned about said commissions. And then I definitely didn't pterodactyl screech when I got the final piece.

Look, we all know those are all lies, but let's pretend I was super chill the whole time, ok? Thanks. (I was the human embodiment of the hearteye emoji if anyone was wondering)

So, here is art from my first Drarry fic, for 2020's Lights, Camera, Drarry based on one of my favorite movies, The Princess Bride.

And if you feel like reading, your can find it here.

And if you want to commission Karol, I 17/10 recommend it. She's so crazy talented and also so wonderful to work with and LOOK AT THEM!!!!! 😭😭😭😭

185 notes • Posted 2021-02-03 00:09:08 GMT

#1

Can you believe Jonny Sims invented romance

516 notes • Posted 2021-08-27 05:52:19 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

[makeste]

BnHA 6th Popularity Poll Reaction Post - Risky Spoiler-Dodging Edition

hey guys, so seeing as the results from the 6th popularity poll were leaked today, I figured I would do a separate reaction + analysis post this year, rather than piling it in as an extra on top of the chapter reaction post tomorrow. I figure this makes more sense anyway, since they’re really two completely different things. also this way I can write as much as I want lol.

also, just fyi, I am still completely unspoiled for chapter 293. and probably the smart thing to do to keep it that way would be to log off tumblr and hold off posting this until tomorrow, but I apparently have no impulse control today so oh well. anyway, so I’m hoping you guys will keep this spoiler-free if you don’t mind! as always, I would prefer to just jump right in completely unaware tomorrow like Troy returning to the study room with the pizza boxes lol.

okay so this first part is just going to be my predictions. fyi I am writing this part on Wednesday night, and then I’ll add on the results part on Thursday or Friday (ETA: Thursday, apparently, since I am impatient.)

okay so first of all, just as a refresher, this poll was open to Japanese voters from Aug 3 to Sep 30. meaning chapters 279 through 285. meanwhile last year’s poll took place around the tail end of the MVA arc. so between then and now we had Heroes Rising, the Endeavor Agency arc, and the War arc up to the part where the 1-A kids took on Gigantomachia in Gunga, and started battling Tomura in Jakku. so technically only a couple of arcs, but a LOT of stuff going down in them. oh and season 4 of the anime as well

so! firstly, I predict that my truculent africanized honeybee son will hold on to his crown at #1, coming off a year in which he did some internship-boosted soul searching, borrowed OFA in movie canon, and finished out the voting period as the my-body-moved-on-its-own character development MVP. like CALL ME CRAZY lol, but I’m pretty sure his title is safe. and then after him will be Deku and Shouto as usual

Aizawa should hopefully also have a strong showing because the dude had a banner fucking year. reunited with his old dead friend, took on Tomura with his hopelessly inept hero pals, and then chopped his fucking leg off. he had better be in the top 10. his fucking leg died for this, idk what else he has to do

Endeavor also stands a decent chance of doing well given the internship arc and the final episode of season 4. which I’m sure will go down just swimmingly if that does happen lmao. especially if he somehow manages to rank higher than...

Dabi, which I don’t think he will btw, but you never know. anyways though, but I’m thinking Dabi’s going to have a stronger showing than in past years (in the last poll he only got 367 votes and was ranked 19th). mostly because of his fight in the Gunga mansion, and his cheekily censored name reveal to...

Hawks, who is also going to rank pretty high here, I think. might be he loses some points for killing off Twice, but his back was basically to the wall there. and he has always been very popular, and I think season 4 will also give him a boost, along with his heavy involvement in the first half of the War arc

Tomura was already in 6th place last year and I think he cracks the top 5 this year. he’s gotten exponentially more popular since the MVA arc, and got a boost in the last poll even though his flashback had only just barely happened, and he hadn’t finished Awakening yet and all that stuff. anyway, so he’s only gotten cooler and more tragic since then so I think he makes a big play here

Kirishima, Momo, Tokoyami, and Mina should also hopefully do well, since the poll opened right in the middle of all that Gigantomachia action, and Toko had just got done being an absolute badass and protecting his birb dad. I don’t think he’ll quite make it to the top ten, but he should

and last but not least, I’m hoping that Mirko will come out and take the polls by storm, although I have no clue how popular she is in Japan lol. she’s clearly Horikoshi’s favorite though. she SHOULD be everyone’s favorite, but I mean, we’ll see how it goes

anyway that’s it as far as predictions! and so now, through the magic of writing stuff at different times, we will fast-forward to the part where we actually find out the results!

OH MY GOD YES, STEAMPUNK KHLKSLLKL. HERE FOR IT. JOLLY GOOD SHOW. 5 STARS

Kacchan looks SO COCKY and SO HAPPY and SO ADORABLE, YES I SAID IT. he is adorable as FUCK. I don’t quite know what it is about this particular Kacchan that just screams “LOOK HOW FUCKING CUTE MY STUPID, LOUD SON IS WITH HIS BIZARRE WINDOWPANE-LOOKING CONVERTIBLE SUNGLASS GOGGLES and his POORLY TIED CRAVAT”, but I think it’s because he looks like if a Digimon character and a FMA character had a baby

anyway, so it looks like most of the people present here are more or less who we expected to see. except that I can’t tell for sure if that’s Dabi or Shindou, and if it’s Shindou I’m going to punch somebody in the face so you will have to excuse me

Iida wearing a TRENCHCOAT and a TOP HAT with ENGINE EXHAUST GOGGLE ACCENTS is my new favorite Iida of all time. take note how there is no possible way he can wear those goggles with them sitting on top of his hat like that. plus he’s already got glasses on. these are just purely for aesthetic and IF THAT AIN’T JUST THE STEAMPUNK WAY

Deku out here speaking softly and carrying a lead pipe. Kacchan you best look out. seems like he’s done watching you take first place year after year while he languishes in the number two spot. your only hope is that he trips while attacking you because his boots are unbuckled

Shouto’s standing over there with the rest of the non-first-and-second-place characters, but what are the odds his results are actually within spitting distance of Deku’s same as always. anyway he doesn’t mind, though. also his outfit is by far the most sensible one here, but if you look closely he’s got some sort of fire extinguisher/jet pack thing strapped to his back that’s got a control switch on his belt. Shouto are you jetpacking or putting out fires

Kirishima out here all “I’m not sure what steampunk is so I’m just going to take off my shirt and pose”

AIZAWA WITH THE EYEPATCH SKLKSDLKFJLSKJLDFKJSLDFFJLDKSJFL:KS. SIR. SIR. also, lowkey furious that Horikoshi refuses to show us the automail leg that he is clearly sporting here but which we just can’t see, SHOUTO MOVE GODDAMMIT

Endeavor has TWO fire extinguisher-slash-jetpacks. THE BETTER TO... WHATEVER. look at you here in the top ten again. you really live for that controversy

HAWKS OUT HERE WITH HIS STEAMPUNK BEATS BY DRE AND HIS WEARING A RING ON EVERY FINGER. nice to see you’ve still got your wings there, kiddo. then again Deku still has both of his arms too so who even knows what is going on

BUT SERIOUSLY THOUGH, IS THIS DABI OR SHINDOU. as if I don’t know the truth deep down in my heart. y’all I am gonna flip lmao. it’s not that I dislike Shindou, strictly speaking. but just... I can’t explain what it is, but if you put him and AFO next to each other and told me “you can only punch one”, I would be having a serious crisis. just, THIS FUCKING GUY, idek. STOP SMILING

Tomura looks like he just wandered onto the set here by mistake and has no idea where he is or what is going on. it’s because you’re wearing a bigass severed hand that’s blocking your entire view, Tomura. just take the hand off your face my sweet murder dumpling

anyway! so I managed to also find a link to the full poll results while somehow managing to avoid spoilers, and then I wanted to compare the results to last year’s poll, and so I made... this

hopefully you can all see this. if you’re on desktop you might be screwed, but on mobile you should be able to click and enlarge it. I mean, assuming you actually give a fuck about boring poll analysis spreadsheets lmao

anyway, so there were actually 13k fewer votes cast this year which is a bit of a surprise. is the series not still growing in popularity? do people apparently have better things to do during their quarantine lol

anyways but despite this, and despite getting 8k fewer votes overall, Kacchan still managed almost twice as many as his closest competitor. well fought, Deku. please put down that pipe

I somehow always underestimate the power of ship popularity to influence these things. but for example, it looks like Present Mic got that Vigilantes Trio bump. ride that wave for all it’s worth my man! hell, you got me on board

Iida fucking Tenya somehow got some sort of POWER BOOST out of NOWHERE which I can’t explain at all lmao, but I’m here for it. NOT BAD FOR AN OLD MAN

Sero managed to get the exact same number of votes in both 2019 and 2020. clearly the most loyal fans in the business

Mirko being all the way down at #20 is, of course, a travesty, and I hereby nominate her to be the one to punch Shindou in the face

ngl though, the lack of a single female character in the top ten hurts just a bit. it’s not overly surprising, but still. the worst part of it is that even if you kicked Shindou to the curb and moved everyone else up one slot, it would still be all dudes since Mic beat out Momo by a margin of a little more than a hundred votes. hard to stay mad at Mic for too long, though. ah well

Tomura actually lost a bunch of votes which is a genuine surprise to me. I know the villain standom isn’t as dominant in Japan as it is in Western fandom, but still. you can go ahead and punch Shindou too I guess

Tokoyami lowkey doubled his vote count over the past year while hiding down there at #18. he is slowly becoming more powerful. biding his time

anyway so I think that’s it! I mean not really, but I’m getting kind of tired lol. so just, you know, insert the usual gripes at Overhaul’s ranking here, although we can be happy about Magne making her way onto the list (r.i.p.), and Mineta and AFO taking a very satisfying slide down (all the way out, in AFO’s case; good riddance you bum). Hadou also got a huge boost which is awesome. Mustard’s persistent ownership of the #36 spot will forever remain a mystery to me, but oh well

anyways, this was fun. and I really do feel like everyone is looking away on purpose so that when Deku brains Kacchan with that pipe in about two seconds from now, there will be no witnesses, oh my fucking god

[elizabeth-mitchells]

Andy and Quynh One Shots - #101

Chapters: 101/101 Fandom: The Old Guard (Movie 2020), The Old Guard (Comics) Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Andy | Andromache the Scythian/Quynh | Noriko Characters: Andy | Andromache of Scythia, Quynh | Noriko, Nile Freeman, Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani, Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Booker | Sebastien le Livre Additional Tags: Immortal Wives Andy | Andromache of Scythia/Quynh | Noriko, Immortality, One Shot Collection, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Domestic Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Romantic Fluff, Fluff without Plot, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Canon Compliant, Post-Canon, Pre-Canon, Tumblr Prompt, Originally Posted on Tumblr, just... A LOT of Andy and Quynh, it's what they deserve, it's what we deserve Words: 63518

"Just you and me." "Until the end."

Three thousand years of love, and more. All the little moments of joy, pain, adoration, and yearning. Andy and Quynh, all through history, all over the world, always in love.

Chapter 101: I'm here, at the beginning of the end, the end of infinity with you (teasing Andy for being old)

At first, Andy didn’t even think twice about it. She could be in the middle of a training session with Quynh and after landing a particularly good punch, Quynh smirked and said, “You’re getting too old, my heart” or “Age has made you slow, Andromache.” It was fine. In fact, it was good, and meant to be affectionate. She had been saying things like that in every language known to man for almost as long as the two of them had known each other. Which, really, was an eternity in itself. It was a little detail that Andy was glad to experience again after such a long separation. Their love was something capable of always growing and never changing at its core. However, little changes were unavoidable. And now that their family was bigger, it was just a matter of time before some harmless, affectionate teasing would get out of hand.

The three of them were sitting on the couch watching a movie and almost as soon as it ended Andy was out of her seat and stretching.

“Where are you going?” Quynh wondered with a slight pout.

Nile added, “We can still watch another!”

Andy scoffed, “I’m exhausted, I’m going to bed.” Without waiting for further approval she started walking toward the room she shared with Quynh.

Quynh, who wasn’t exactly happy to lose the shoulder she was comfortably leaning against during the movies. “I get it, you’re too old for this,” she called after her lover’s retreating figure. Andy shook her head fondly, and smiled because the others couldn’t see her. But there was just something about how loudly Nile laughed at that joke that just sparked a hint of worry in the older woman’s mind. She tried to ignore it, as long as she could.

--

A few days later, after a couple of minutes of lying awake in bed, Andy turned to her side and happily devoted herself to trailing feather-light kisses on Quynh’s bare shoulders to get her to wake up. Her fingertips were starting to dance in secret patterns on the soft skin of the other woman’s back, when Andy’s ministrations were interrupted by Quynh, who quickly moved so she could capture Andy’s lips with her own and give her a real good morning kiss. Though, after pulling back, she went back to lying on her stomach and said, “I know you’re old, my heart, but do you have to wake up this early?”

“Excuse me?” Andy laughed, not at the joke, precisely. But there was just something too sweet about the sight of Quynh, unable to hold back a smile, even if trying to hide her face in the pillow, but stubbornly keeping her eyes closed.

“Let me sleep!” Quynh mumbled against her pillow, and she had to bravely accept a kiss on the cheek, but she was finally granted extra time to sleep.

Still wearing a content smile on her face, Andy walked to the kitchen. She was half-way through her first cup of coffee, which she almost dropped, when Nile walked into the kitchen and without even looking Andy in the eyes said, “My grandma used to wake up before everyone else too.”

--

Soon enough, their teasing became a constant in their lives.

“I don’t get it,” Nile complained, dropping her head in a book written in Russian and groaning loudly. 

“It’s not that difficult!” Andy insisted, in perfect Russian.

Nile, assuming what she’d just said, protested, “You only say that because you’re older than the entire language.”

“That’s complicated,” Andy grumbled, still in Russian.

“No, she’s right, darling, you’re that old,” Quynh blurted out in matching Russian, with a few struggles, from her place reading a different book a few feet away on the couch.

After Nile burst out laughing, Andy looked at her with a frown, “Oh so that you understand?!”

--

Even during moments that could have been emotionally difficult, Andy was caught off guard by the ruthlessness of the women around her.

“We can’t do it, it’s too risky,” Andy insisted, about a new sketchy mission offered to them that the youngest member of the family was determined to take, “Listen, Nile…”

“What? I’ll get it when I’m older… than civilization?” Nile crossed her arms defensively, as if that could hide the hint of a smile showing in her lips.

Quynh absolutely failed to stifle a laugh. And when she received a pointed look from her wife, she returned the expression in kind and said, “Was that not the point of whatever you were about to say?”

“We are not taking this job,” Andy stated through clenched teeth, right before learning a valuable piece of information about the mission that they would, in the end, take and successfully complete.

--

“Nile!” Andy yelled, kicking open the door of their latest safe house and storming into the living room. “Nile!”

“What did she do now, and why didn’t she include me?” Quynh walked out of the kitchen with a proud grin already in place.

“Our fake identities just arrived,” Andy grumbled. “Take a look.”

Quynh hummed as she took in her hands the handful of passports Andy passed her. She glanced at them, but found nothing out of the ordinary. “What's the problem, my love? You look frighteninly pretty, as always.”

Although she was still frowning profusely, during a second, a smile broke out on Andy’s face. But then, “She did it on purpose! Look at my age!”

This time, Quynh bit her lip to hold back her smile. After taking a closer look at the passport, she looked up with a small smirk and a playfully raised eyebrow, “Fifty?”

“Fifty!” Andy exclaimed, outraged. “I’ve never been fifty! Fucking fifty! How does she dare-”

“Andromache!” Quynh was openly laughing then. “You are thousands of years old!” When her lover attempted to turn away from her in a rage, Quynh dropped the passports and quickly wrapped her arms around Andy’s waist and hugged her close. “Come on, it’s not a big deal! You don’t look a day over forty eight.”

“Oh, fuck you,” Andy scoffed, but when she turned around to kiss Quynh, there was a small smile on her face.

--

“Quynh! Please tell this crazy old woman to give me back my phone!” Nile stormed into the safe house.

She was quickly followed by Andy saying “We have rules about social media, Nile! To keep us safe.”

Quynh strolled into the living room with a smile on her face that everyone else might have assumed was patient or gentle, but Andy knew it was the kind of smile that brought trouble for her specifically. “Nile, you have to understand,” Quynh said slowly, “She’s too old for this kind of thing.”

As she finished talking, Quynh reached out to take Nile’s phone, Andy quickly blocked her attempt and laughed, “Are you serious?” It started an impressive duel where they fought for the cellphone, with Quynh coming out as the winner for being just slightly quicker, something she would probably remind Andy of for years.

“It’s just a different generation,” Quynh continued to laugh, tossing the phone over to the younger woman a second before Andy threw her arms around her.

“You’re literally older than everyone else in our family combined!” Andy protested as the two of them playfully wrestled in the middle of the living room.

“And you are twice as old as me!” Quynh replied, followed by a yelp of surprise as the love of her life lifted her up from the floor.

The two of them only stopped fighting when they noticed a flash coming from the camera of Nile’s phone. “Hm, you’re both right,” Nile smirked, quickly sending the hilarious picture to their family’s groupchat, “The two of you are ancient.”

Nile walked away from them, leaving behind two women wearing shocked expressions, though Andy was delighted, and Quynh appeared deeply betrayed. “Hey!” Quynh tried to protest, but she was happily interrupted by a kiss from Andy, who a moment later started tickling her, just to start their loving battle all over again.

[suffering-and-happy-about-it]

Nicole’s rambling: In the defense of Oliver Ulliva and age gaps

Okay, first let me remind you - this is my POV on the book as a whole. Everyone has their way of understanding of what exactly happened in Call me by your name (the novel) and you don’t have to agree with everything I am about to say - WHICH IS TOTALLY FINE.

Second thing - I’m going to be using translations and page references to my copy of the book - that being the first Czech edition from the year 2018, translated by Lucie Podhorná because it varies from the OG book itself (for example, when Elio talks to Vimini, my copy says "when did he tell you?" instead of "when had he tell her?"; it's just small nuances). Also, that's why I'm referring to Oliver as ‘Oliver Ulliva’, because my copy canonically confirms this being his last name - it refers to his last name being ‘Ulliva’ a few times since Mafalda cracks his egg open.

What made me even wanna write this rant? I don’t wanna in any way talk about the author or the director, or the actors. But... Well, quite a few things - especially the statement that their relationship was predatory since the very begging (simply because Oliver is seven years older) and that it was practically a ‘consensual ra*e’ and... Listen.

1. The Age Gap

Most of these were from the American audience who viewed the movie - but let me explain why Europeans might view this relationship differently and why you might change your opinion about it as well. I am not saying Americans don't do these things as well, but from what I've seen on the forums, etc., it seems to me that European x American view on age gaps is way different.

For the sake of this statement, I interviewed 10 of my European friends - of which were mostly all Czech. Europeans do not see a problem with having a seven-year (and more) age gap between the partners - you rarely find a couple of which both are the same age; three-years being the “standard” gap.

Young people, around 17 - 19, at least in my country, are attracted to older partners for various reasons - some like the intellectual potential of their partner, some are searching for a form of certitude in an older partner having their priorities sorted out and figured out their lives and what they want to do with themselves; whether we are talking about m/m, w/m, w/w or a non-binary relationship. One of my friends told me she searches older partners solely because they feel more protected by them. It's the sense of serenity, a different feeling of connection and different understanding to your other half.

I've talked to four of my friends, who both have partners of the same age or max. 1-year gap and even they told me they absolutely can see themselves dating a partner older by minimally five years. So, it's not a controversial thing here, really.

Maybe it’s more common in here, but rarely anyone frowns upon such relationships. At the time of my first relationship, my first partner was five years older than me - and I honestly couldn’t see myself with someone my age. From my experience, the relationships and bonds have a higher probability to last longer (we had a beautiful relationship of three years), it isn’t only driven by hormonal side of things and such, the feelings can develop into something more meaningful than just simple and shallow lust. More for that matter - most of these age-gap relationships didn't end extra-bad breakups and the partners tended to continue seeing each other as friends.

When I interviewed my friends, asking them about the length of these relationships, it was never less than a year. Usually, they said that they learned a ton of new stuff about themselves and having a healthy, normal relationship than from dating someone their age. So... Yeah. I guess that personal, first-hand experience is what makes us see the relationship for its good and bad, but still assures us not to perceive the relationship as predatory.

Now, you might say that while were living in the 2020s', Call me by your name took place in 1983 - and guess what? It was written in the year 2007. Does that mean something? The answer is - no. My grandma met my grandpa in the 80s' (I asked her about this as well and they have 14 years gap; my other grandma and grandpa met at the end of 80s' and the start of 90s' and they, as well, have 8 years between them) and by this, you can see that the situation is more or less the same as it was.

For all of the above, I can see why Elio fell for Oliver so quickly. First and foremost - he mentions Oliver being older like... Three, four times in a book that has word count 76.996? Elio doesn't care about age - it's a story about two human beings falling in love. It's not trying to research the problem of age and such. Stop judging the story for the wrong reason, ffs.

2. The 'consensual ra*e' argument:

Another thing I've encountered is the audience calling the story 'consensual ra*e'... Let me elaborate and tell you why you're wrong. In America, the age of consent is 16 - 18. In Europe, we have the age of consent established at 15 (the lowest being Estonia with 14) and you are a lawful adult at 18 years old. Given that Elio was 17 in the summer and 18 in November, he was already perceived as an adult; given what were his parents like and what relationship they had to him. (Again, I am looking at the story from today's perspective since the audience did as well). He was a man at the time Oliver came to Italy, he was a man at the time he had sex with Marzia, he was a man when he had sex with Oliver and he was a man when he traveled to Rome.

Elio should be perceived as an adult who carries most of his personal responsibility on his shoulders (since you're more than partially punished for the laws you break from the age of fifteen) and if he decides that he wants to be in a sexual relationship with an older man - he can rightfully do so. Surely, the relationship had another big B U T (for some people) - homosexuality and homophobia. And from the historical standpoint, I don't wanna spend too much time over it. The LGBT movement foundation ties back to 1969; given that Italy was in the capitalistic pro-American part of Europe (Czechia was under the Communist regime at the time, so homosexuality was barbarically punished in my country), I think there wasn't a problem with a subtle, not-too-obvious gay relationship. Sure, you couldn't walk into the open and hold hands and such, but you wouldn't get you beheaded.

Yeah, I mean, I'm not an expert on Italian war history and I don't particularly know what happened with Italy after WW2, but I know that in 1985, first LGBT organization got founding from the republic and from that I assume the situation, especially if it would be a subtle relationship, wouldn't be as bad.

In the story, it is hinted that both Sami and Anella were aware of the whole relationship - I mean, come on. Sami knew (since he had the big speech about being corrupted at the age of thirty, ("I think he's better than me, dad".; "And I am sure he would say the same about you, which both of you makes seem like good people." - Call me by your name, page 221)) and Anella perfectly knew at least in the movie - I mean, the car-ride home? Oh, she knew very well and she even told Marzia at the dinner, IMO.

Now tell me why would the relationship be a consensual ra*e? Because it is not bent to accommodate American laws? Because it not an ordinary every-day relationship? In which way is it ra*e? At the age of 17, you are taken as A D U L T who has their responsibilities to fulfil, at least here in Europe.

3. Oliver didn't love Elio as much as Elio loved Oliver:

... What? I mean... What?

Sure, you are seeing the whole story from Elio's eyes and for that, you are more likely to take Elio's side in this matter. In the end, it was Oliver who was getting married, right? And he was the first one to reach out, right? Well... It was a both-sided thing. At the first few pages, Elio says “"Do you want to look at them? "Not now, maybe later." Polite indifference, as if he noticed my out of place zealous effort to make him like me as he pushed me away briskly."; page 12 and on page 18, Elio states "We started - he must've seen the hints way sooner than I did - to flirt.", let alone that Elio describes that probably, Oliver visited his room while he was asleep.

I can see where the opinion that Elio loved Oliver more could've come from - he was young, hasty and captivated by the entirety of Oliver. Since we see the story by his side, Oliver can seem to be the less active out of the two. But trust me, he loved him the same amount, if not more. This was confirmed by both Sami and Vimini -

Page 92, a conversation between Elio and Vimini, Oliver went to the sea with Anchise:

"Do you know where Oliver is?" "I don't know. I thought he went fishing with Anchise." "With Anchise? He's crazy! He almost killed himself the last time!" No response. She was looking at the sun slowly setting down. "You like him, don't you?" "Yes," I responded. "He likes you too. More than you do - I think." You really think so? - No, Oliver does. - When did he tell you? - Not too long ago.

and page 220, when Sami and Elio talk about their trip to Rome:

"Oliver may be very intelligent—," I began. Once again, the disingenuous rise intonation announced a damning but hanging invisibly between us. Anything not to let my father lead me any further down this road. “Intelligent? He was more than intelligent. What you two had had everything and nothing to do with intelligence. He was good, and you were both lucky to have found each other, because you too are good."

Which obviously shows that both of the people who are indirectly watching the relationship between Elio and Oliver blossom in front of their very eyes are aware that both were very much in love. And Vimini, even if she said 'Oliver does think he loves Elio more', she could see that these two are very much attracted to each other. She was spending a lot of time with Oliver throughout his stay in Italy and she was beyond intelligent - these two were an incapable pair idiots compared to her.

So, no, Oliver doesn't love Elio more; he's just not being as childish about it as Elio is. Once more, the age gap is tying into this topic; while Oliver has his 'hot-headed' days, he already went through the phase of being obsessed by someone (or at least the phase being obsessed and letting the surroundings know). He is slightly more mature than Elio, so he just doesn't let himself go that easily.

And I think that he maybe suffers from internalized homophobia - page 224, Oliver talks with Elio as he comes back for Christmas:

"You should leave then. They (Elio's parents) know about us." "I figured so," he responded. "How?" "By the way your father spoke. You're lucky. My father would have me carted me off to a correctional facility."

In this short piece of dialogue, you can see that Oliver's father isn't okay with LGBT (not too much to wonder about, the American society was different than it is now, it wasn't a safe space for queers). And it's plausible that if Oliver had listened to this as he grew up, he got scared when his mind and body reacted to Elio in this way. We can see that for Elio, he lets go for some time; as they sleep in the 2nd part of the book and visit Rome together in the 3rd part of the book. He tried to overcome the fear and simply because he was in love with the boy, he did overcome it.

But you can see the broken shell (which was tore down in Italy) slowly getting together as Oliver gets back to the USA. He, once more, is under the pressure of American society who is not LGBT friendly at the time, his own father would've never supported his decisions regarding his love life, it could cost him his academic career... And for all of these reasons, it was more logical for Oliver to get married. It was his way of putting order back into his life; it was his way of being good as he says Elio.

So, yeah. Here you have it. Oliver was in love, the relationship could benefit both parties and it wasn't a consensual ra*e, thank you very much.

[hazbinhotelcanon]

Voxtagram posts - 16 June 2020 to 30 June 2020

These are all the “in character” posts & comments from the Helluva/Hazbin accounts that have recently been popping up on Instagram. Comments from other people aren’t included unless characters interact with them. Since Instagram doesn’t have a chronological feed & timestamps show only the date on posts older than 24 hours, I’ve listed the posts as close to chronologically as I can reconstruct.

I’ve seen tons of fans expressing annoyance/frustration at trying to keep up with these in character Instagram accounts and their new lore and plots. That’s the top reason I started this blog. If you want to see my ongoing logs of the in character Instagram posts, follow @hazbinhotelcanon​!

I’m gonna call these “Voxtagram posts” instead of “Instagram posts” because Hazbin/Helluva Hell's equivalents to our social media sites were apparently named for Vox—Voxtagram, Voogle, VoxTube, Voxcarto—so I’ll use that for the in-universe posts.

Since this is the first “Voxtagram” post, I’ve got a big disclaimer on how “canon” this material is; I’ll put it at the bottom of this post. First, the actual art!

Canon accounts featured in this post: just Blitzo (blitzorodeo) and Stolas (daddy_hoothoot).

16 June 2020

blitzorodeo Here at the stable!!! #horsethings #itwasonly5$$$$$$$$ #selfie❤️ #😈😈😈😈

17 June 2020

blitzorodeo I just cant choose what name to give my horse!! They’re just so good! Which is your favorite 🥺😈😛 #namesrhard #icantwaittowriteitdownagain

19 June 2020

blitzorodeo My horse and I went to the living world. How do you people deal with all this blue

janegumball Blitz, show us your horse blitzorodeo @janegumball 😮👏😢🙌😔 janegumball @blitzorodeo so no horse? Damn... 😔 blitzorodeo @janegumball Push pin (my horse) and i have a special relationship, you cant just ask for pictures of my horse

20 June 2020

blitzorodeo I got new riding boots!! My horse coupon 2.0 picked them out for me! :0) BT dubs, i changed my horses’ name to coupon 2.0

megan25gothiqueimmortel Youre awesome like always Blitzy blitzorodeo @megan25gothiqueimmortel 😍😍😍 yes i am good thanks 😋💖💕❤️

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Blitzō (@blitzorodeo) on Jun 20, 2020 at 1:40am PDT

blitzorodeo

Watching my favorite movie with my horse!!

#movienight🥺 #spiritismyfavmovie

blitzorodeo Maxipad and i can’t get enough of these lil iced bitches 🥰😛😋 BTdubs i renamed my horse to maxipad dont flame me 🔥🔥🔥 #icedcofee #mmmmiloveicedcoffee #donttslktomebeforeihavemycoffree

markzillow655 I feel like Blitz put some drugs in that drink blitzorodeo @markzillow655 its just iced coffee 😬

janegumball What name is on your horse’s birth certificate? blitzorodeo @janegumball 😳 thats a secret 😗❤️

watsurdamage dont tslk to me before i have my coffree probablyfakeblonde @watsurdamage leave him alone, he just wants to enjoy time with his horse watsurdamage @probablyfakeblonde what horse blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde 😔

21 June 2020

blitzorodeo WENT TO THE MOOOOVVVIIIEEESSSS!! 🥴 it was lame, no horses in this movie 😑👎 it suuuuxxxxxxx!!! Anyways my horses new name is nail polish #moxxiehasstinyPP #iatrtheirpopcorm #illreviewthrmovielater

lordskelecat Pics of the horse or it doesn’t exist blitzorodeo @lordskelecat YOU CANT JUST ASK FOR PICS OF MY HORSE!!! DONT FLAME ME!!! 🔥🔥🔥

blitzorodeo Throw back to last years halloween costume!!! My horse Latex glove said i should post it :0) Oh yea my horses new name is latex glove #iusedlotsofmakeuponmyhorns #andotherplaces;) #donthugmeillloosemymakeuponyou

akira282006 Isn't it in those clothes that blitzo appears in a Hazbin hotel scene?. By the way great costume👌 blitzorodeo @akira282006 i had to look fancy at the stufio 😎

markzillow655 That is awesome looking ngl blitzorodeo @markzillow655 😎🔥

22 June 2020

blitzorodeo My horse and i found this in Moxxies closet! LOOOL!!! Im pretty sure moxxie cant pull it off like Tupperware can. My horses new name is tupperware BTW🥺😎👍❤️ #bigdickenergyproblemslol #myjorsesnsmeistupperware #stolaseatmyass

radio_demon_husk He wouldn’t know about virginity after all he did sleep with stolas blitzorodeo @radio_demon_husk who the fuck is stolas

yaelgilbert He low-key kinda hot tho. blitzorodeo @yaelgilbert 😎😎😎😎😎😎😎

blitzorodeo GOD DAMN IT!! They gave me fucking HOT COFFEE!! 👿🔥 this is bullshit im about to to full karen on their asses!! BTdubs, my horses name is ICED COFFEE WHICH IS WHAT I WANTED!!! #bullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshitbullshit!!!!

hellishgirly34 Do you like Moxxie xD? Spit the tea! blitzorodeo @licoholics nah he’s stinky.

23 June 2020

blitzorodeo Having my hotdog that my horse recommended. This guy wont stop talking to me. I changed my horses name to keystroke #thightuesday❤️😈 #hotdogtimeisagoodtime

yaelgilbert You gonna slurp that mustered off your lap or can I? blitzorodeo @yaelgilbert I want a happy meal first

blitzorodeo In a meeting rn, i love these filters LOL! My horse chose this filter :0) Their name is now snimmer~ #moxxieisatotalbabe #thattaghas100+onit #proovesmoxxieisbaby #:)😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈😈

janegumball Snimmer is a dumb name 👎 blitzorodeo @janegumball 🔥👿👎🔥

blitzorodeo Feeling cute today, calling my horse on an old clamshell phone! 😈❤️🌟#foundthisoldshotinaboxlol #missusingmyclalmshells

daddy_hoothoot My eyes have been blessed to see my dear Blitzy like this! You’re always so adorable.

bryan_fedrix what's the horse's name now? blitzorodeo @bryan_fedrix THANK YOU FOR ASKING, the name is shrinkwrap

25 June 2020

daddy_hoothoot Octavia said I needed an instagram account and surprised me this morning. Am I doing this right? #nofilter #wokeuplikethis

blitzorodeo 👎 daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo Oh, Blitzy, you know you love seeing this in the morning❤️❤️❤️ blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot 😔 not a horse

blitzorodeo 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

edwar_17_art Birb father daddy_hoothoot @edwar_17_art I’m not quite sure what a “birb” is but I am indeed a father. And a very proud one at that.

boiled_trash Daddy hoot hoot? Can you be my daddy~? daddy_hoothoot @boiled_trash I’m sorry, I already have a daughter

blitzorodeo Stolas came over and asked for my horse cook but snowcone (my horse) isn’t interested. 🥴👿😑

blitzorodeo BTW my horse is a master chef 🔥

daddy_hoothoot My, what a lovely pair of legs those are!

blitzorodeo At the pool with my horse! We both have pool floaties we stole from some kid together 🥺🔥😈

daddy_hoothoot Oh! You’re in the pool? blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot ................................. no........................... boiled_trash @karlaanimatesyt stolas is bout to join him karlaanimatesyt @boiled_trash Not it I get there first and stop him! 🤠 It’s our job to protect blitzo >:0!! blitzorodeo @karlaanimatesyt finally i have a human shield jaquiialeworld @daddy_hoothoot Stolas, I know how to make blitzo surrender to you, give him a horse blitzorodeo @jaquiialeworld i already have a horse 👎

wolf.nerd.geek Also Blitzo is so cute that face he is making can you send me a link to this pic please blitzorodeo @wolf.nerd.geek this is my selfie 😑🔥

thorns521 How do you feel about Stolas’s new account Blitzø? blitzorodeo @thorns521 I can never post a thigh pic again... daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo Don’t let me get in the way of you showing the world those hot thighs 😉

vinfer8 Who took the picture? 🤔 blitzorodeo @vinfer8 obviously my horse

boiled_trash What does your horse’s pool float look like? blitzorodeo @boiled_trash looks like a dragon 🐉

karlaanimatesyt Wow.... :0 What’s your horses name today? :D I’m interested!! blitzorodeo @karlaanimatesyt pool noodle 😎

nightmurr 🥺💕 you have such a cute little smile i- blitzorodeo @nightmurr 😎

princess_.ee Whats your horses name? blitzorodeo @princess_.ee FINALLY SOMEONE ASSKKED. Its Noodle, pool noodle

26 June 2020

daddy_hoothoot I spy a cutie 😈🥰 @blitzorodeo

pipunpkin i spy a SIMP daddy_hoothoot @pipunpkin If a “SIMP” means Sexy Imp then yes

watsurdamage Suspiciously with no horse... 👀 blitzorodeo @watsurdamage he went to use the bathroom obviously watsurdamage @blitzorodeo obviously boiled_trash @blitzorodeo where’s his pool float then??? watsurdamage @boiled_trash @blitzorodeo I think they’ve got you there blitz daddy_hoothoot @watsurdamage no one needs to pick on my Blitzy. If he says there was a horse there, there was a horse there.

blitzorodeo New icon fr da newme (My horse, typo, wrote that for me)

daddy_hoothoot 😘

maro.drawings blitzo your photos are always beautiful 👌💖 but I need to ask you something .... how much does a domicile murder cost? blitzorodeo @maro.drawings you have to get a consultation if you want a priiicceeeee 🔥

blitzorodeo So.. Remember, bushes are great places to hide... my horse, dixxie cup, hid in the bush next to me #hidingforgoodreasonslol #itskindafunnybutalsonotbecauseimstuckinabush #updatelateronthebushsituation

daddy_hoothoot Oh dear

janegumball Dixie Cup is a dumb dumb name 👎 horse name 0/10 blitzorodeo @janegumball DONT FLAME MEEEEE!!!!!! 🔥🔥🔥🔥

sirnasteryg87 is your horse okay? (´；д；`) blitzorodeo @sirnasteryg87 dixie cup is doin just fine, were both hiding in the

27 June 2020

blitzorodeo ok update, I was able to escape the bushes and I got an iced coffee, I'm fine looooool. My horse (named latex glove) also got one too. I think we'll come here more often to get coffeeeee #tastyasfuckman #iloveicedcoffeeitstasty

daddy_hoothoot Hope you’re enjoying the living world, Blitzy! Can’t wait to see you when you get back! blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot yea yea....

maichyartnoodles You look like you are doing an Ahegao, wtf?! blitzorodeo @maichyartnoodles weeb

thesydinator Just add some beta blockers with that iced coffee, and bam: you’re completely hammered blitzorodeo @thesydinator now THAT sounds like an idea 😎😎😍😍

ant_arts_entertainment I love horses blitzorodeo @ant_arts_entertainment this guy gets me

king_leb72 Damn why were you in the bushes blitzorodeo @king_leb72 i have my motives, im a pro

blitzorodeo This is the piñata that reminded me of moxxie LOL. Tortilla chip (my horse) said to give it to mills, I think she’d love it 🤣😈

daddy_hoothoot It’s cute but not quite as cute as a certain imp I know 😏 😈 angelmadefromhell @daddy_hoothoot Moxxie? daddy_hoothoot @angelmadefromhell Which one of the little ones are they? blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot Just remember our agreement and you can call me whatever you want... ill see you at 8 daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo Can’t wait! 😘

janegumball You took my name suggestion. If you change it again I’m afraid I’m gonna have to report your account. blitzorodeo @janegumball wtffff!!!!!

daddy_hoothoot Had myself a bit of a spook. Still not quite used to this phone. #dadprobs 🦉

blitzorodeo Use a filter daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo I’ll keep that in mind for next time

hellishgirly34 Stolas, why Blitzo was hiding in a bush? daddy_hoothoot @bluepatata I’m not quite sure. I tried to call him but he didn’t pick up.

daddy_hoothoot Got to spend the day with Octavia. 💖🖤#prouddad #saturdaysaremadefordads

ballora_x Wait, I have a good question, how can you're daughter hear everything in the Headsets wale she doesn't have ears? daddy_hoothoot @ballora_x we’re in Hell, dear. Living world logic doesn’t apply.

ricardo_silis_garcia_ I came to ask for your daughter's hand daddy_hoothoot @ricardo_silis_garcia_ not my hand to give. Besides she’s far too young for matrimony.

28 June 2020

blitzorodeo I drew a picture of msyulef as a horse :) im such a a creative guy!! my given horse name from my horse (Renamed to flavor dust) is blitzo2. if you translate it it's whIIIINNENEEE nay bRRRRRR HEEERRGH. #whatsyourhorsiename #stolasdontotinteract

blitzorodeo Im such a good artist boiled_trash @blitzorodeo you’re not a good artist, you’re an amazing one! blitzorodeo @boiled_trash 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍YOURE 👏 RIGHT👏👏👏

daddy_hoothoot You’re always so talented with your hands, Blitzy!

sugar.weaver My horse name is Tiny Whore - or Horse... I'm not fluent yet and they're pretty similar sounds... In horse that's PBBBF.. NNNEEHHHHHEH BPFF! BPFF! (The exclamation points are important to the translation) blitzorodeo @sugar.weaver i liked this 3 times. Your horse name is perfect PBBBF NNNNNEEEHHHEH BPPFF BPFFF, fucking amazing sugar.weaver @blitzorodeo Thank you so much, whIIIIINNENEEE nay bRRRRRR HEEERRGH, but you forgot my exclamation points and called me Clammy Ankles 😔😔😔 blitzorodeo @sugar.weaver i was being informal but ill remember next time 😔

momgimmeoreo How did you learn how to draw, Blitz? blitzorodeo @momgimmeoreo im just talented

beetle.ghosts omg you're so talented blitzorodeo @beetle.ghosts ❤️❤️❤️😍❤️😍❤️❤️❤️😍😍❤️❤️😍😍

andonijean Oh wow! This is a piece of art! I'll give you one hundred of apples for it~ blitzorodeo @andonijean WOW GIMMUE APPLE

aateabee Gosh, I wish my art was as good as yours, Blitzo. I feel unworthy when I look at your art. blitzorodeo @aateabee ❤️😎❤️😎❤️😎❤️😎❤️😎😎😎

aitesound666 I Love you art，will you draw moxxie as a horse? blitzorodeo @aitesound666 i should....!!!!!

karlaanimatesyt Blitzo! >:0 I LOVE YOUR ART, YOU ARE SUCH A GODDESS! Will you ever do more art? :D I would love to see some more! blitzorodeo @karlaanimatesyt wow.... yes... ill post more art 😍😍❤️😍❤️

boiled_trash Love your art, Blitzo! Have you considered doing commissions? blitzorodeo @boiled_trash im thinjing of opening them soon :)

kaldraws8280 Oh you should hang it on moxxies fridge! I bet hed love it! blitzorodeo @kaldraws8280 hed better....

leoleochleoleo you draw yourself as a horse because you like to lay on your fours for the old owl 7u7? blitzorodeo @leoleochleoleo FIRST OF ALL. Im a top, and second, i draw myself as a horse because its my SPIRIT animal >:(

blitzorodeo Some requests!! You guys really like my art 😋 i worked really hard on moxxies horsiebdrawing. He doesnt HAVE a horse name. Its just moxxie. My red crayon ran out i only had blue dont flame me preps

daddy_hoothoot 💖💖💖💖💖💖🥺!!! blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot its from that time you choked on a rat bone 🦴 daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo I still absolutely adore it! daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo There’s only one bone I enjoy choking on 😏 blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot STOLAS

megadoomed Do you take constructive criticism blitzorodeo @megadoomed no

nightmurr AN ART GOD 😳😳 blitzorodeo @nightmurr 😎🔥 i am really good at art

aitesound666 I think you deserve this 🙌🙌👏👏👏 blitzorodeo @aitesound666 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

useful.crew.too Your drawings and pictures bring me such joy!! blitzorodeo @useful.crew.too 😍❤️

mr_unknown15632 Your art work is amazing not gonna lie, the second drawing looks exactly like moxxie blitzorodeo @mr_unknown15632 doesnt it??????? 🙌🙌🙌

whereareallmyenchiladas honestly at this point put “artist” in ur bio🥺 ur art is way too good to not be recognized blitzorodeo @whereareallmyenchiladas so right

29 June 2020

blitzorodeo My horse, who i renamed to smart phone, said I should wear sunglasses. I trust my horses opinion :} #sunglassesonfunsout #ifuckinglovewearingsunglassesyoucantseewhatimthinking #galaxybrainzriseup

bootyprince damn u single bb? blitzorodeo @bootyprince always up for a good time 😎

aateabee Where’d you get the glasses from? I’d really like a pair like that! blitzorodeo @aateabee at my local sunglasses hut

blitzorodeo stolas sent me this picture earlier... not sure what he was trying to do but i think the camera went off after he posed.

daddy_hoothoot Oh! This is embarrassing. blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot 🤧

bootyprince send him one back blitzorodeo @bootyprince maybe i will....... blitzorodeo @blitzorodeo NOT daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo 🥺

blitzorodeo just saw Antz... Z reminds me WAAYYY too much of Moxxie... #pleaseshutuppleaseshutup

daddy_hoothoot I always feel amazing after a good preening 🦉❤️ #fluffyisthebest

blitzorodeo I came back for my left glove thats all 🔥🔥 daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo If you want to come by for the other one, we can watch one of those horse movies you enjoy 🐴

blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot ............... spirit........ ill bring my VHS but NOTHING FUNNY daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo I’ll get popcorn!

30 June 2020

daddy_hoothoot Movie night with Blitzy! 😈🦉🍿

blitzorodeo SPIRIT IS A VERY EMOTIONAL MOVIE

deparkjimin COUPLE GOALS.! They should get married now.❤️❤️❤️ blitzorodeo @deparkjimin we are NOT A couple! saquesealchingada @blitzorodeo That's what everyone says, what do you say Stolas? daddy_hoothoot @saquesealchingada I... It’s complicated

leoleochleoleo I thought that old man didn't know how to use netflix 0: daddy_hoothoot @leoleochleoleo Blitzy brought a VHS

mistress_of_insanity Are ya watchin' porn or somethin'? 👀🔥 blitzorodeo @mistress_of_insanity 👎👎👎👎👎 NO ITS SPIRIT

natycolrange OhHH we can Finaly see the Horse!! 🌟🌟 blitzorodeo @natycolrange its just a horse figurine, my horse went to the shitter

blitzorodeo I went to Mcdonalds and Mccucked this human womans wife lol. My horse said it was my charms and my daddy fingers. too bad I'm wild and free babybeeee #ihadamcflurryandlarrrggeeefries #cantfuckintamemeimfree #likespiritthehorse

daddy_hoothoot Oh...

trysteropup Need an imp with daddy fingers in my life blitzorodeo @trysteropup this is my absolute favorite comment

mr_unknown15632 My main question is, what’s your horses name? blitzorodeo @mr_unknown15632 THANK YIU FOR ASKINGGGG!!! Thr name is flame proof, cuz nobody can burn this biatch

hat_flap Hey Daddy Finger blitzorodeo @hat_flap hey baby maker

yaelgilbert At least return her horse frame to her. blitzorodeo @yaelgilbert NO.

probablyfakeblonde STOP STEALING MY SHIT!!! YOULL NEVER BE LIKE SPIRIT blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde DONT FLAME ME JUST CUZ I HAVE DADDY FINGERS AND YOU DONT! watsurdamage @blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde I mean he’s right blitzorodeo @watsurdamage @probablyfakeblonde cucked again probablyfakeblonde @watsurdamage @blitzorodeo honey please don’t do this, he’s already stolen my beautiful framed horse picture, I can’t lose you too 🥺 blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde its mine now, and im wild and free, cant tame me watsurdamage @blitzorodeo @probablyfakeblonde you heard him, like Miley he can’t be tamed

daddy_hoothoot A pleasant afternoon tea with my wife 😢

daddy_hoothoot Sorry, I meant to put 😌

aitesound666 Ok，a question。Who took the picture?😮 daddy_hoothoot @aitesound666 Butler

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Blitzō (@blitzorodeo) on Jun 30, 2020 at 1:46am PDT

blitzorodeo I tried animating and it’s sucks

janegumball Everyone in the comments is trying to spare your feelings, and you know it blitzorodeo @janegumball i think ur just jealous thet im amazing

blitzorodeo Loonie and I went out to the city! my horse Dominator got us there! :) #horseinthecityha #betterthanataxiiii #itfuckinfreeeee

daddy_hoothoot How cute, Blitzy! Perhaps someday we can arrange a little play date. I think our daughters would very much enjoy it. blitzorodeo @daddy_hoothoot Loona might be a little too old to do play dates.. daddy_hoothoot @blitzorodeo it’s more of an expression than an actual play date, Blitzy. I simply think they may get along.

bootyprince she looks just like u blitzorodeo @bootyprince the resemblance is uncanine

And that’s all the June posts!!

So! Since this is the first Voxtagram post, lemme include the big ol’ disclaimer that’s going to apply to all of these posts: we don’t yet know how canon these accounts are.

This is why they’re broadly accepted as canon: as far as I have been able to track back (correct me if you know better & have a source!), the first of these accounts, Blitzo’s, was found by fans because Vivzie followed it when it was brand new. Since then, new accounts have been discovered as they follow/interact with each other. Some official artists have interacted “in character” with the accounts. The accounts accurately announced when the “Addict” music video was going to come out, and some art posted before “Addict” used imagery that was also used in the music video. So either the accounts are definitely made by the canon creators or else being made by somebody who’s got inside access to the creators.

But, as far as I have seen, nobody on the Hazbin crew has taken credit for running them. More importantly, nobody has said how canon the blogs are. Maybe every image/word posted by these accounts is 100% accurate/canonical; or maybe the art is canon but the roleplaying in the comments is noncanon goofy fanservice; etc. We don’t know yet. It appears safest to say these accounts are probably mostly canon—but take it with a grain of salt.

So until we’re directly informed how canon the Voxtagram accounts are, Voxtagram posts are going to be tagged “#semi canon” (the same tag I’ll be using for stream transcripts) to indicate that it appears to be info coming from the creators, but it may or may not still be canon/accurate by the time the full shows and comics are released.

[canariie]

“Do you want to have ramen?”

Rating: T for Rangiku’s implications ;)

Synopsis: Toushiro invites Momo over to his place for ramen, not quite understanding the full social implications he has brought upon himself.

Word Count: 2276 words

Setting: College AU

Prompts: Hitsuhina Week 2020 - Day 2 Reveal / AU

Author’s Note: My first submission for @hitsuhina-week ever! I always love writing AUs since Hitsuhina mainly suffer in canon :’( 

This was inspired by the ramen scene in the K-drama Crash Landing Onto You! Also, I have been thinking about a College AU for Hitsuhina recently so this would be one scene of it! I hope you enjoy!

— 

Toushiro looked at the clock again for what seemed like the fifth time. Where is she? He busied himself his apartment, fiddling with the sparse furniture, but everything was already orderly and in place. Toushiro had already spent all day cleaning up to have his childhood friend, Momo, over. The two had just finished their first-year final exams yesterday and had not had the time to properly catch up yet.

He had offered to have her over for dinner—just instant ramen, Toushiro by no means was a chef. He also knew that since he lived alone they could have more freedom than if they hung out than at her 2-bedroom apartment with Momo’s roommate around. Not that they were going to be loud or rowdy—unlike Toushiro’s neighbor, Rangiku Matsumoto.

Earlier that evening. the second year had brought it upon herself earlier to loudly knock on his door, demanding to borrow a broom for herself.

“Oh, someone’s cleaning up?” Rangiku smiled cheekily. “Are you having anyone over?”

“It’s just Hinamori.” He thrusted the broom into her hands and responded curtly, “Now take this and go before she gets here.”

“Really? I want to see Hinamori-chan too!” The blonde girl stepped inside. “Maybe I should stay too!”

“No!” The word left Hitsugaya’s mouth before he could stop himself and he could feel his ears go hot. He was eager to see Momo but didn’t want his neighbor to know that. “We’re just eating ramen, so there won’t be enough…” he said as he attempted to compose himself.

Rangiku smiled knowingly, “Relax Captain, I wasn’t planning on it…especially if you’re going to have ramen. There’s no room for more than 2 people in that,” she replied cheekily, her voice dripping with implications.

Toushiro narrowed his eyes in skepticism, not liking the tone of her voice. “What are you talking about Matsumoto?”

Her blue eyes filled mirth, happy to see the confusion on his face. “Do you not know what ‘having ramen’ means Captain? And I thought you were a genius!”

Toushiro scowled at the comment, clearly not happy to be ignorant—even if it was something Rangiku knew. “What do you mean?”

And so, she explained, laughing as the white-haired boys face turn redder and redder. All this new information left Toushiro flustered and he hastily pushed Matsumoto out of the apartment, still undeterred in her laughter at his embarrassment.

Since then, Toushiro had occupied himself with cleaning up the living room and setting up the kotatsu as a way to firmly forget that conversation. It annoyed him that he had no idea of such a concept—and if he didn’t know, Momo definitely didn’t know.

It wasn’t that he didn’t have feelings for his childhood friend—he had realized for several years how he felt about the sweet brown eyed girl. But Momo didn’t know and he valued their friendship too much to jeopardize it by letting her know. Toushiro knew how much Momo relied on his presence in her life, especially after what happened to her in high school, and he couldn’t risk being anything more the friend that she needed.

A knock erupted his thoughts (though much softer) and Toushiro opened the door to a pair of arms and paper bag in his face. “Ahh Hitsugaya-kun!” came the muffled voice of his childhood friend, “it’s going to fall!” He quickly grabbed the bag right as it tipped into forward towards him. “Hinamori! Did you buy the whole grocery store?” He inspected its contents and saw she had brought vegetables, meat, and tofu—basically everything but the ramen noodles which he had offered.

Momo laughed as she took off her shoes. “Well, we just finished finals and I know you wouldn’t have much groceries inside so I decided to stop by and pick up some ingredients as well as,” she held up a plastic bag that was hanging on the crook of her elbow, “some celebratory drinks!”

Toushiro raised his eyebrow. “Isn’t this a bit much Hinamori? I thought we were just eating ramen?”

He followed her into his kitchenette and set down the ingredients as she scrummaged through the drawers for a bottle opener. “Hitsugaya-kun, we just finished our exams of our first semester of college! We must celebrate it fully!” For further emphasis, she poured two shots and held one out to him. Toushiro took it with a skeptical glance at his childhood friend. “Hinamori, you don’t even drink that much…” Her tolerance was abysmally low and any full drink would knock her out completely.

“I know, I know! But I wanted to really celebrate tonight!” She leaned herself against the kitchen counter. “I also wanted to thank you for helping me study for my exam, even when you had your own exams to study for.” Momo looked at him through her eyelashes, her brown eyes gleaming. “Thank you, Hitsugaya-kun. I really appreciated it.”

Toushiro could feel his ears go red and he looked away. “It was no problem.” He could never turn away that look of her hers: her soft smile and warm eyes. For years, though she may know it or not, whenever Momo gazed at him like that, Toushiro could feel his will breaking.

That’s how he helped her study: with her knocking on his door with a pleading look in her eyes and her textbooks clutched to her chest, there was no way he could say no. Not that he would have; Hinamori had helped him in countless ways, though she may have not realized it, just by simply being her cheerful self. She was selfless, kind and always put others, like him, above herself—a trait he initially found annoying but later on an endearing quality that made him want to protect her more.  

That’s why he took the shot still extended out towards him, though hesitant he could see the anticipated gleam in her eyes. “To the end of finals…” Toushiro said weakly though it didn’t stop Momo from cheering loudly before taking her own. He eyed her as he drank his, albeit not as quick since he was fully aware of his tolerance to alcohol, not as low as Hinamori but definitely not high.

Momo let out a sigh of content. “Let’s get started shall we!”

---

Though the two were tired from just finishing a week of finals, all the fatigue seemed to wear away as they moved around the kitchen. Toushiro was by far not a great cook and only ate what required the minimal cooking. He could only shrug his shoulders as Momo threw a disapproving look over her shoulder at his empty fridge before placing some of the ingredients inside. She moved around with an ease, taking out the pots and pans to prepare the ingredients for ramen without hesitation—almost as if she lived there, which Toushiro rather liked.

They fell in a comfortable rhythm of light conversation in between the chops of vegetable and the pan sizzle of meat. From plans for the holiday to news about classmates, all the conversation fell neatly in between light jokes and the appetizing aroma of a long-awaited home cooked meal. Toushiro made sure to keep an eye on Momo as she was intermittently taking shots in while adding the chopped cabbage and beef to the pot. He debated moving the knives away as she started to accidently spill things, almost knocking the whole bottle of soy sauce into the pan. While Momo wasn’t looking, he moved the sake bottle out of her sight, hoping she’d think she had misplaced it.

“Ahh it looks so delicious!” Momo squealed as Toushiro cracked the last ingredients of eggs to the pot. “I can’t wait to eat it!” She moved closer to catch a whiff, almost moving in front of the pot but Toushiro caught her shoulders and pulled her back. “Be careful Hinamori! It’s still boiling!”

She furrowed her eyebrows and craned her neck up at him, “Hitsugaya-kun, I wasn’t going to actually put my face in. You know I am older than you, right?”

Toushiro didn’t want to take chances as he could see the glazed look starting to form over her brown eyes. “Yes, I know Hinamori,” he acquiesced, “and as the older one you can go set up the table to eat. I’ll bring the food over.” He could hear her mumbling to himself “now he’s kicking me out” but she obliged anyway, taking the plates and turning on the TV to a random late-night movie.

Toushiro brought out the pot of instant ramen—though it could hardly just be called instant anymore. The childhood friends had elevated it to a new level, at Momo’s insistence, with semi-boiled eggs, spinach, rice cakes, beef slices and thinly shredded green onions. Though Toushiro was displeased to see that Momo had found the sake bottle and had generously poured herself some more shots for two of them, he was happy to see her taking in a whole serving of food into her bowl.

The two fell quiet as they ate with gusto, now realizing how hungry they were. With the warmth of the kotatsu table, the white light of the TV and the filtered moonlight through the blinds, the tranquility of the moment allowed them to truly relish their food..

“Thank you for having me over, Hitsugaya-kun,” Momo said as she put her chopsticks over bowl. “I really enjoyed cooking with you today.” She smiled appreciatively, though Toushiro could still see a hint of fatigue in her face.  

“I should thank you for going shopping for more ingredients. I was only planning to follow the instructions on the back of the packet.” He took a drink from his glass of water but stopped as he remembered. “Which by the way, let me know how much the bill was so I can pay you back for half.”

Momo waved her hand dismissively as she took another sip of the sake. “Don’t worry about that! You do so much for be, it’s the least I can do.”

He held her gaze. “Well, at least next time we do this, let me pay for the ingredients. It’s the least I can do since you cooked most of it.”

Momo laughed. “Shiro-chan, you really don’t give yourself enough credit. But, if you insist, then it’s fine.” She rested her chin on her hand as she yawned sleepily. “Guys just don’t think about this stuff normally. Like when I had ramen with Abarai-kun and Kira-kun—they didn’t even think about buying eggs!” she giggled.

At the back of Toushiro’s mind, he could hear Rangiku’s words from earlier on, and he felt a twinge of envy.

He cleared his throat. “Hinamori...you should be careful not to ask anyone else to have ramen with you.”

Momo’s bottom lip stuck out as she pouted in confusion, “But why Shiro-chan?”

Toushiro ignored the nickname, not wanting to derail from the point he was trying to make. “Because it has implications..”

“What kind of implications?”

Toushiro could feel his ears heat up. “Of more than just eating ramen.”

The brunette tilted her head in confusion. “I don’t understand…what else does ‘eating ramen’ mean besides eating ramen?”

He sighed in exasperation. “It’s more of the activity that follows after…”

“Like what?” Honestly, this girl was too clueless for her own good.

“When one finishes the ramen…they usually stay the night…” He left out the last part hoping she would understand.

“And sleep?”

Toushiro wanted to bang his head on the table. Now, he wished Rangiku was hear to explain. “But not of the sleeping kind.”

There was a pregnant pause before Momo erupted in sleepy giggles. “Shiro-chan, I don’t think that’s always the case. Friends can have ramen together! I think Rangiku-san has been giving you too many ideas.”

He made a sound of protest, almost knocking over his bowl of ramen. “She does not give me ideas!”

“Like you and I! Aren’t we just friends having ramen?” A few moments ticked by where they stared at each other until her voice turned somber. “Unless, is there something else going on, Shiro-chan?”

At that point he didn’t know what to do. The TV noise fell to a background static and thoughts raced through his mind. He didn’t want her to have any ramen with anyone else, well, because he wanted her.

“Hinamori I—”

Her head fell against the side of the couch, eyes already closed in sleep. Toushiro almost had to stop himself from slamming his head on the table and settled in heaving a huge sigh of disbelief. Of all the times she had to pass out. After gathering his wits together, he cleared the table and turned down the volume of the TV, not wanting to disturb her. Toushiro quietly stood up and moved over to Hinamori’s side, placing one arm behind her back and another under knees. Her head lolled to one side against his shoulder and he could feel soft puffs of air against his neck, sending heat up the back of his neck.

Toushiro carefully moved to his bedroom and placed her down, making sure to prop her head up on the pillow and cover her with a blanket. Knowing Momo, she was going to be knocked out the rest of the night and in no shape to go home; Toushiro just hoped that she would sleep through and forget the last part of their conversation.

For now, he’ll blame Matsumoto for putting these ideas in his head and hope that in the meantime, Momo wouldn’t have ramen with anyone else but him.

—–

Authors Note: I did a little research and it seems the “having someone over for ramen” is prevalent in South Korean culture. However! When I watched Naruto: The Last, the girls would always giggle whenever Naruto would ask Hinata over for ramen so I assume in Japanese culture, there is probably similar implications! If anyone knows, please let me know! I mainly enjoy putting Toushiro in a difficult position as secretly-in-love-with-their-childhood-friend and never able to do anything about it haha

Hope you enjoyed! :)

[starkerintheparker]

starker reclist - AUs

Hey guys! Welcome to the second part of my personal Starker reclist, dedicated to AUs. Last week I posted my canon-based recs, you can find them here.

I tried to incorporate as many tropes as I could, hoping everyone will find something special within their interests. There are a few a/b/o and underage fics, all properly tagged in case anyone wishes to avoid them. I also tried to highlight soulmate AUs because I reckon it’s a somewhat popular trope. Enjoy! ❤️

Last updated: April 25th, 2020. All new fics added will be marked with ***

• 007 AU by @darker-soft-starker (T, 4k, completed)

Summary: Undercover and bored at an art auction, Tony finds entertainment in Peter Parker.

Review: Look, I’m a simple woman. Daniel Craig has owned my ass ever since Casino Royale and I was reading 00Q and Hartwin before I even shipped Starker. Point is, I like spy movies, ok?! So naturally I couldn’t leave this fic out of my reclist. I you need further incentive, consider this quote: “What, a little late night espionage not romantic enough for you?” Peter retorts, whipping a pistol out from his jacket and aiming it at Tony’s chest.

• 3 Times I Told You I Loved You & 1 Time You Said It Back by @starkeristheendgame (E) background Peter/Steve, Peter/Bucky, Peter/Scott

Summary: Peter Parker confesses his love to Tony Stark three times. Once at ten, once at fifteen and once at twenty. Finally convinced that Tony will never love him back, Peter ventures out into a different path, desperate to find the love he seeks from someone else. But you know what they say about star-crossed lovers.

Review: This lovely fic holds a very special place in my heart. I’m so invested I decided to wait until it’s finished so I can read it all in one sitting. Peter’s longing and heartbreak hurt my poor soul but I trust Jensen to give me that promised Starker endgame - I know it will be glorious when it finally comes.

• A Night on the Town by @scarletmanuka1 (G, 2.3k, completed)

Summary: Nightclub AU. Years after the events of Endgame, Tony has hit rock bottom. The Snap left him crippled, Pepper has abandoned him and has taken Morgan with her, and he's feeling old and lonely. Peter arranges a night out at the nightclub that he works at to try and cheer Tony up.

Review: I love get together fics, especially if it involves oblivious!Tony getting his shit together and going after his man. Seeing him bitter and broken after Thanos was hard, but special kudos to IronBros moments because that friendship is true goals!

• Age of Adeline by @starkerforlife6969 (completed) background Harley/Peter, Bucky/Peter, Wade/Peter

Review: I’d never in a million years think about this movie as a Starker AU but gosh, this is everything I needed in my life and it completely devastated me but I loved every minute of it. As a devoted monoshipper, I was surprised to realize that I got emotionally involved with all pairings, even more so with Starker, which totally paid off. Gorgeous, powerful and heartfelt. God bless SFL.

• assume makes ass for u and me by @pretty-well-funded (M, 1.6k, completed) tw underage

Summary: In Tony’s defense, he was sure the kid was a rent boy.

Review: This 1.6k fic caught me completely off guard and now I’m crying because I need MORE. I love the premise, the dialogue is criminally good, their voices are amazing and I can’t get enough of cheeky!Peter charming Tony with his wit and filthy mind.  

• Bamf!secretary Peter by @starkerforlife6969 (M, completed)

Review: Who could ever resist some corporate espionage drama with bamf!Peter leaving Tony speechless and horny? Not me. I’d read more 30k of this verse because competent, sassy Peter Parker is such a kink, omg.

• Biker!Tony by @starkerforlife6969 (T, completed) Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Review: Same age AUs are not usually my thing but I can’t resist cute high school sweethearts written by this fandom goddess. Plus, protective!Tony calling Peter “doll” does things to my heart - and Peter’s.

• Breaking Character by @cagestark (E, 8.3k, completed)

Summary: Tony Stark, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and spy for SHIELD. Working with another SHIELD spy, the infamous Spider, he will take down an infamous human trafficking ring in New York. But the act they have to put on will demand more from Tony than he ever thought he'd have to give. Not that he minds.

Review: The spy trope seriously needs more fic like this one, because I’ll have bamf!Peter lying back to save his country while Tony freaks out any day. Cage hits the perfect balance between plot building, fantastic sexual tension, clever dialogue and the hottest smut sequence. What a ride! (Pun intended).  

• Curiosity Killed the Cat by @areluctantsblog (T, 1.5k, completed)

Summary: Peter has been modelling in an art school for years. He's used to strangers' eyes roaming his body - clothed or naked - and he knows that it's not him they are looking at. Not him who they are interested in. He's just a model, a tool for their work. And for a long time he doesn't notice the one pair of eyes that, despite seeing him but rarely, is looking right at him.

Review: Very soft and atmospheric, this fic left me in a bit of a daze and it took me a while to realize it was over. Great writing will do that to you.

• Detective!Tony, Graffiti Artist!Peter by @starkerforlife6969 (M, completed)

Review: Oh don’t mind me, just appreciating this author’s talent at writing from the filthiest smut to the softest “Tony saves Peter in all ways that matter” like this ficlet. We stan.

• Eat at Pete’s by feyrelay + glorious art by @peachbabypie (E)

Summary: Peter gives him an unimpressed look, “If you didn’t do your work, then you wouldn’t be able to earn my time though, would you?” Pfft. “Kid, I have more money than god. I can splurge on your delicious pancakes and attention, trust me,” Tony informs him loftily. Peter smiles that wicked, crooked little smile that's just for him. It's not even and perfect like his the-customer-is-always-right one that's more frequently on offer. “I didn’t say you couldn’t afford it. I said you wouldn’t have earned it.”

Review: How can we ever say no to dom!Peter putting Tony in his place and hopefully on his dick + Tony loving every second of it?? Their dynamics are fantastic and that TASTY COUNTER DIALOGUE KILLS ME. EVERY TIME. Check it out and come scream with me: sub!Tony rights :D

• Fire and Ice by LeafyGreenQueen773 (M, 3k, completed) Soulmate AU

Summary: AU where when someone writes on his or her skin, the same thing shows up on their soulmate in the same place as a Mark that fades away in a few hours.

Review: This was the first Starker soulmate fic I’ve read and it made my heart ache so soft and good. Lovely and bittersweet, quiet and painfully honest. 

• Genius, Acrobat, Playboy, Philanthropist by @scarletmanuka1 (E, 28k, completed)

Summary: After Peter's aeriel acrobatics partner, Adrian Toomes is fired from The Avengers Circus Troupe for theft, he is shocked to discover that his replacement is non other than legendary performer, Tony Stark - the man that Peter had hero worshipped since he first learned how to tumble. 

Review: After reading this fic I realized I need more Circus AUs in my life. I could read jealous idiots falling in love while doing beautiful acrobatics for the rest of my days. Original plot, nice character development and I really appreciated how the author inserted little canon things here and there. 

• Happy to Disappoint by @deaded-blush (M, 60k, completed) tw underage, domestic violence

Summary: Adrian Toomes is in quite deep with notorious mob boss Tony Stark. But when Tony comes to collect the debt owed, he's surprised to discover Toomes has an adoptive son. The chance meeting changes the direction of both their lives...

Review: Hands down one of the best Mafia!AUs I’ve ever seen. Read it all in one sitting and by the end I was SHOOKETH and utterly obsessed with this story. Nothing about it is okay so brace yourself for whump!Peter and lots of h/c. Bonus points for an incredibly satisfying ending that will make you gasp out loud.

• Hey Baby, Slip between my Beta-Pleats and get to know my Alpha-Helix? by @starkerforlife6969 and @darker-soft-starker (E, 37k, completed) A/B/O

Summary: Even though Tony can't tell the difference between Manolo Blahnik and Jimmy Choo, Peter really has no other choice. His heat is around the corner, so even though he loathes the party-going, booze drinking, smug playboy know-it-all that is Tony Stark. He'll just have to do.       

Review: I can’t believe life went on as we know it (or did it??) after these two geniuses wrote together. This is the Starker version of “enemies to lovers” we all wanted and deserve, where spoiled-bratty-posh princess Peter finds the perfect balance for his chaotic energy in goofy-unapologetic-charming playboy Tony. Their falling in love is just so tender, so genuine and so good, it’s impossible not to cheer for these two sweethearts through this delightful, carefully crafted story.

• If you let me by @css1992 (E, 12k, completed)

Summary: Peter had tried dating younger guys, but it just didn’t do it for him. They were often too eager, too fast, too rough. Just too young, in general. Not that older men couldn’t be too much, too, Peter learned it the hard way. The man looking back at him from across the room seemed like a good one. He knew he shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but he was gorgeous. Possibly the most handsome man Peter had ever seen in his short life.

Review: I remember the first time I read this fic it hit me in such a powerful way I cried a bit and was too overwhelmed to do words and tell the author just how much I loved it. But I never forgot this fic or the way it made me feel. It’s so evocative, so sexy, so raw, so heartbreaking, so sweet and so gentle. Great atmosphere, even greater characterization and some of the hottest smut I’ve ever read. Treat yourself and check this out right now.    

• I’ll be Home by @starkerforlife6969 (M, completed) A/B/O

Summary: The story starts when Soldier Tony comes home for a few days, and is introduced to the love of his life.

Review: Will I ever stop reccing SFL’s works? Maybe, but today is not the day. This gorgeous, breathtaking fic attacked me in my own house during Christmas day and made me cry like a baby. I’m a sucker for reunion stories - the longing, the heartbreak, the power of endurance. This fic reminded me that no matter how long or difficult the journey, love will always find a way.

• Little Spider by @stfustucky (iwillpaintasongforlou) (E, 5k, completed)

Summary: Peter Parker is one of the country's best hitmen, known in the underworld as the Little Spider. He spends his days in the lap of luxury with his billionaire fiance Tony Stark, and his nights doing dirty work for various shady characters. Life is good, right up until someone puts out a hit on Tony and wants Peter to pull the trigger. It... might be time for them to have a talk.

Review: Omg this fic was so deliciously good in a totally surprising and sexy way. Bamf!Peter took my breath away with the perfect balance between his two personas. Tony getting off on that sheer power and confidence is a BIG MOOD and my second favorite thing in this fic. The first being the badass power couple they make. 

• love somebody like you (E) by @intoxicatelou

Summary: five times Tony was Peter’s roommate and one time he was his soulmate instead.

Review: Who doesn’t love some forced proximity mixed with the unbeatable soulmate trope? This plot is the hottest take and my heart cannot handle young!Tony with his brilliant mind and sassy charm protecting and flirting with Peter, unfff feels everywhere *cries in Starker*

• Love Thy Neighbour by @darker-soft-starker (T, 2.3k, completed)

Summary: Tony's new neighbour is kinda weird.

Review: I know I keep saying that same age!AUs are not really my thing but I’m the softest bitch for feel-good, cozy domesticity, and I love how this charming story shows that ordinary life become magical when shared with someone special. I could babble all night about how eccentric and confident Peter seduces our man of science that for once has absolutely no idea of what’s going on - but you really should see it for yourself right now :)

• Mafia Boss!Tony Break Up Make Up by @starkerforlife6969 (E, completed)

Review: Man, this fic was so rude to my heart. The heartbreak, the rough sex, the guilt, the hopeful make up, the gorgeous ending. My body literally cannot take the stress, why are Mafia AUs so doomed and beautiful and more importantly, why is SFL so good at writing them???

• Microcosm Series by @bloomblood (M, 32k) tw underage

Summary: Tony and Peter become each other’s heroes after the Snap, saving themselves before they offer aid back to the world.

Review: I haven’t read many post-apocalyptic fics but this series’s raw atmosphere sucked me in. I adore the quiet intimacy, the slow and tentative healing, and all the silent and complex emotions underneath apparent simplicity. Big aesthetic mood, just as its lovely author. 

• Musechaser by @nightskygardenia (M, 10.5k, completed)

Summary: Eighteen year old art student Peter Parker is desperately searching for his muse, someone who can bring his creative skills to the next level through inspiration. Lucky for him, his next class just so happens to feature a gorgeous model by the name of Tony Stark, a man Peter's convinced is his muse, to the point of staying after class to ask for private modeling sessions.

Review: Another big aesthetic mood, this fic paints a gorgeous imagery. I love the setting, the slow pace and the building anticipation until the sexual tension finally breaks. Peter is adorable and Tony exudes confidence; their voices are spot on and their chemistry is palpable and intense.  

• My Best Friend’s Dad by @darker-soft-starker (M, 17.6k, completed)

Summary: Peter is home for the summer, back from his first year away at college. Having stayed over at Harley's house every weekend since they were fourteen, he never used to think much of his friend’s dad. A few years worth of college experience has Peter noticing Tony in a different way. This time, Tony notices him back.

Review: Turns out that Tony Stark being a dad and a daddy is too much for my body. I worship this fic. I wanna get married to it and have its babies. No words will ever make it justice *sobs* no but seriously, secret relationship is a perfect Starker trope and this one will take you to the edge of your seat until the very end. A+ characterization, lovely build up, infuriating cliffhangers and the wholesome happy ending we all deserve. This is the kind of fic that leaves you a bit depressed once it’s over, because you suddenly realize you’ll never read it for the first time ever again. So get to it and make sure to enjoy every second!

• One Call Away by @readysetstarker (E)

Summary: Tony didn’t need the phone sex gig. He was more than well off, his own sex life was in great shape, but damn, there was just something about listening to someone else get off to his voice. 

Review: Omg who could ever resist sex hotline + daddy kink + identity porn? Dev is coming after our own hearts and bodies with this hot combo. I love the balance between their cute chemistry and the hot phone sex, plus the identity porn is deliciously fun. I was so happy to know this fic is getting longer than the author had previously anticipated because I’m definitely not ready to let it go.

• Open Road by @starkerflowers (E, 2.5k, completed)

Summary: It’s not love, but it’s good. TW: implied abuse (not between Tony/Peter); bruises/violence; panic attack. 

Review: This refreshing not-quite-a-love-story will capture your heart, make it hurt, make it ache, make it hope and finally, make it heal. This fic is so gorgeously written I honestly cannot rec it enough. Yes, it’s dark and angsty, but it’s also gentle, hopeful and deeply evocative.  

• Panty Raid by @starkerforlife6969 (M, completed) A/B/O

Summary:  Imagine Tony being forced to do a panty raid as an initiation for his fraternity. So Tony, keeping up his playboy appearances, sneaks into the omega dorms. And he sees sweet innocent Peter who is so alarmed by the alphas raiding their dorm Tony can’t help but comfort him.

Review: Unf this fic is just too charming and cute, my heart cannot take it. Frat stories are so fun they make me forget my preference for age gaps and realize I could read more 50k of protective young!Tony any day, please and thank

• Pete’s Eats by @darker-soft-starker (T, 9.3k, completed)

Summary: Peter has a YouTube channel where he just drinks wine and teaches people how to cook things if they live in a mediocre apartment. While cooking and drinking he just talks about stuff like memes and school and, most importantly, his undying thirst for Tony Stark.

Review: This is legit the funniest shit I’ve ever read, everybody else can go home. I was already sold on Peter being a relatable thirsty dork, but Tony’s A+++ characterization (for a moment I thought it was RDJ on the big screen) and the identity porn side trope killed me for good. And what a way to go. I’m an angst hoe but I could read this forever and would be okay with it. 

• pondus, pondera by spqr (M, 9.3k, completed) underage prostitution but not between P/T

Summary: Peter sells his virginity for $5,000 when he’s fifteen.

Review: Ugh I’m so weak for the angsty hooker trope, I just love the potential to simultaneously explore whump, mutual pining and gentle recovery. Trust spqr to deliver it all with a carefully crafted slow burn, god-tier characterization and a heartfelt and satisfying get together. This fic is a gem.

• Powerful by @cagestark (E, 4.6k, completed) SIM!Tony

Summary: After finding out about Peter's abusive ex, Tony privately vows revenge.

Review: This fic took my breath away and made me realize that dark!Tony with a soft spot for Peter is everything I need in my life. Precious Peter being empowered by a viciously protective Tony is now my absolute jam, and it was fascinating to see see their dynamics mutually feeding each other’s nature. This fic is gorgeous, sexy and liberating. 

***Red Light District series by @starker-stories (17k, ongoing)

Summary: Everyone knows that Tony Stark is a playboy who has dozens of women passing through his life and through his bed. What everyone doesn't know is that Tony Stark is deeply closeted, longing for something he can't ever have -- a life and a love with another man.

Review: I’m completely in love with this series and not only because it explores the good old hooker trope which I’m very partial to. It’s so well written and atmospheric, if a tad bittersweet and heart-wrenching. Great narrative tension, Tony and Peter’s chemistry is insane, their voices and dialogue are amazing and the smut is looong and scorching hot *chef’s kiss* 

• Samadhi by @starkercrossedlovers (E, completed)

Summay: Tony goes to yoga to try and deal with his anxiety and ends up falling for the instructor, one Peter Parker.

Review: Okay so yoga fics are among my guilty pleasures and I can’t get enough of feel-good fics like this one. Peter’s such a sweetheart, so thoughtful and amazing with Tony. I love it when they take care of each other and find solace together, this fic made me soft :’)

• Single dad baker!Peter and lawyer!Tony by @starkerforlife6969 (G, completed)

Review: I’m not usually a fluff girl but this fic is just too wholesome to go by unnoticed. Nothing hits my soft side harder than a cynical character reaching that turning point that makes them start to believe in love. Fuck yes, YOU SHOW THAT MAN SOME HAPPILY EVER AFTER PETE

• Soft Kitty by @ko-fiandfanfiction (E, 33k, completed)

Summary: Peter wasn’t wearing something Tony would call normal, not that there was anything inherently wrong with what he was wearing or anything. It just struck him as…different. To put it plainly. Tony is not sure what to make of this new development.

Review: For those of you who love some occasional feminization, this is the perfect treat. Soft, sexy and sweet, it combines top guilty, pining Tony with oblivious idiots in love, two of my favorite tropes. Amazing slow burn with glorious sexual tension, infuriating dancing around each other and a very satisfying get together. Bonus points for including the “Avengers living together in the Tower” trope, this is the 2012 team building fic we deserved.

• Solitaire by @darker-soft-starker (M, 29k, completed)

Summary: After a traumatic experience, Tony loses his marriage and his business empire in one fell swoop. At rock bottom, it takes real change to pick up the pieces, to dig himself out of the funk he's been living in. It's not pretty. Along the path of healing Tony meets a bright young man, Peter Parker, who makes the entire journey worth it.

Review: Oh man, this was a tough ride on the soul. Few things hurt me like reading whump!Tony but his healing journey is so beautiful it’s all worth it. Top notch characterization, amazing dialogue, FEELS EVERYWHERE, and a gorgeous portrayal of loneliness, friendship, hope and love.  

• Someone Who Makes you Happy by tuesday (T, 6k, completed) Soulmate AU

Summary: Peter was born with several marks already marring his skin, including an interlocking AES over his heart. A scar-sharing soulmate AU.

Review: This fic is absolutely stunning and it makes my heart ache in all the right places. Great worldbuilding (I LOVE the scarring concept, so unique and fitting to these characters), A+++ Tony characterization (the wit and the self-hate are so spot on I could weep) and a journey full of longing, until they finally get to be on the same page. 

• Splice by Mezzymet (E, 35k, completed) A/B/O

Summary: "He's not...." The doctors polite nature and disposition hadn't been able to mask the odd tone of his voice, like he had been reading someone's death certificate. Only Peter hadn't been on his death bed. "Peter isn't like the other kids.

Review: I keep coming back to this story because it’s such a fascinating and unique take on this trope. Very well thought and put together - the world building is fantastic, the sex sequences are breathtaking, and Tony’s gentle thoughtfulness makes me wanna cry.   

• Stopover by @cagestark (E, 10k, completed)

Summary: A stopover is just a break in a journey. Tony is on the run from the organization he used to kill for, and when he stopped for gas and coffee in the small town of Stopover, IL, he had no plans to leave with anything more.

Review: *sigh* this is the mob boss!Tony fic I’ve waited for all my life. Even more impressive than the delicious smut checking all my kink boxes was the phenomenal build up, the overall urgent atmosphere that surrounds those “on the run”, combined with the gentle wonder of stealing a moment in time to find solace in the most unlikely place. Breathtakingly moving. 

• Student Body President Election by @starkerforlife6969 (T, completed)

Summary: Tony and Peter are competing for Student Body President and a smear campaign takes things a little too far.

Review: GIMME ENEMIES TO LOVERS AND ALL THE HIGH SCHOOL DRAMA. This ficlet is so fun and adorable it will make your heart smile. Great plot idea and the usual bonus points for protective!Tony being a sweetheart. Will have more 30k, pls and thank.

• Such a Softer Sin by @css1992 (E, 18k, completed) background Peter/Norman

Summary: Tony is a self-made man. Peter is a sugar baby – someone else’s sugar baby.

Review: Another fantastic slow burn that hit me hard in the feels. I love it when fics explore the characters’ personal struggles before they get together, and while the Peter!whump destroyed my heart, Tony’s parallel journey of growth took my breath away. css1992’s talent took the good old sugar baby trope to a whole new epic level. 

• Summer Daze by @darker-soft-starker (NR, 4.3k, completed)

Summary: Starker no-powers au where Peter watches construction worker Tony from his bedroom window as the older man works across the street.

Review: Ahh yes, the classic “food as metaphor for love” trope, my absolute jam. This fic is so adorable and endearing, pining!Peter in his wooing mission makes my heart ache and the sweet anticipation is so good. There’s something about this fic that gives me nostalgia; it’s as soft and warm as a summer breeze.

• Tamed by @cagestark (E, 8.3k, completed)

Summary: Tony Stark, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, and spy for SHIELD. Working with another SHIELD spy, the infamous Spider, he will take down an infamous human trafficking ring in New York. But the act they have to put on will demand more from Tony than he ever thought he'd have to give. Not that he minds.

Review: It’s no wonder this is Cage’s most beloved fic. Bad boy!Tony being all soft for Peter is everything we deserve, not to mention a mesmerizing (and HOT AF) first time together. This fic shows how rich and captivating Cage’s writing is - she’s able to transform that old basic trope into something unique and heartfelt. If you need one more reason to read this, please consider: best first bj ever :)    

• Teacher!Tony wrong number by @areluctantsblog (T) tw underage

Summary: Peter’s using a replacement phone and mistypes Ned’s number asking for help on a physics problem.

Review: I have such a soft spot for this fic! It was one of the first AUs I’ve ever read and I’m completely in love with their dynamics. Peter’s underage but this fic is carefully written and pretty tame, so I’d rec it to anyone looking for the good old “they probably shouldn’t, but then again nothing’s happening” trope.  

• The Bleedover Effect by tuesday (T, 11k, completed) Soulmate AU

Summary: The first time Tony got punched in the face by nobody there, he had a lot of very complicated feelings about it that mostly boiled down to, "I deserve this." A pain-sharing soulmate AU.

Review: Tuesday truly is the queen of soulmate AUs, we have no other choice but STAN. First of all, I adore the concept here - being such a sucker for whump, this could easily become my favorite soulmate trope. As usual, her Tony voice is perfect and his devotion to Peter hits my fragile heart every time. Kudos for the soft and hopeful ending. The series has been discontinued but the sequels are very much worth the read, if you’re up for it :)

• The Catfish Chronicles by @stfustucky (iwillpaintasongforlou) (E, 32k, completed)

Summary: Peter creates a fake profile under the name “Benjamin” trying to catch his scumbag boyfriend cheating. Tony creates a Tinder profile for "Anthony" looking for love late in life. Funny how two geniuses who fight side by side every day can only manage to fall in love after they've accidentally catfished each other. This is... gonna get awkward.

Review: My identity porn thirst might be showing but who cares, I want these two idiots pining after each other in every possible way. This was such a fun and exciting ride! The suspense had me legit freaking out and their get together was lovely and wholesome. I particularly adored how thoughtful and sweet Tony was dealing with Peter’s insecurities, that was handled really well. A treat!

• The Concept of Domesticity by @peters-tofu (E) mpreg

Summary: Tony has accomplished nearly everything he's set out to do, now he wants something different. A family of his own? Sounds easy enough. But he's far too impatient for a relationship, so surrogacy it is. Meanwhile, twenty-two year old college student Peter Parker has just volunteered to be a bearer at an agency.

Review: Can’t say I’m a big fan of this trope but since every rule has its exception, here it is! The only Starker mpreg I’ve ever read is so so good and adorable I can’t help smiling every time I think about it. I just love their dynamics, the soft domesticity, the cute bantering, and the fact that Peter has one baby daddy all wrapped around his little finger but what else is new ;)

***The Date by Neuropsyche (E, 33k, completed)

Summary: Tony has a high society gala and he needs a date.

Review: My favorite fake dating AU so far, this fic is so sweet and wholesome. Confident!Peter is my jam and it was amazing to see their sassy bantering evolving into genuine affection towards each other, not to mention the delicious hot smut with dom!Tony :D 

• The Final Heist by @starkerforlife6969 (G, 10k, completed)

Summary: Tony’s only got one more heist. He does this, he can be retired on an island in the Mediterranean in a month. All he needs is a world-class art forger. (White Collar inspired)

Review: Honestly, the amount of times I’ve mentioned SFL in this list is getting embarrassing. I must have done something really good in another life to get such a talented author writing something inspired by one of my favorite TV shows. I feel like this fic was personally crafted for me; it’s original, romantic, sexy, fun, clever and so very atmospheric. I’m a lucky hoe. 

• The Heart Benefits of Exercise by @areluctantsblog (E, 14k, completed)

Summary: Personal Trainer Tony and Gym Newbie Peter. Peter can hardly keep it together watching Tony demonstrate different exercises and lift weights. Tony is very much aware of the effect he has on his trainee, and after a session, Peter begs to be shown a whole different array of exercises.

Review: This fic was a lovely surprise, very relatable and entertaining. Love myself an adorable Peter thirsting over Tony (can’t really judge lol), especially if it comes with a good amount of pining and hot, kinky smut :D

• Tipping the Scale by JayPendragon (E, 119k, completed)

Summary: Peter has a rhythm. A system. All runs like a well-oiled machine, engineering pun intended. Every wheel of his life is churning perfectly. He doesn’t expect Tony Stark of all people to throw a wrench in it.

Review: Hooker!AUs are my kryptonite, I’m so here for the “fuck first, talk later” and the general pining + misunderstandings + h/c combo this trope provides. This amazing longfic delivers it all with a well-paced, delicious slow burn told from Peter’s POV, which is always a delight to read and makes you fall even more in love with him. If you also enjoy this trope you’re in for a treat!

•  To Catch a Spider by Thekeyandquill (E)

Summary: After the war, Peter Parker left his career as a spy behind to live a simple life in the south of France. But when someone frames him for the theft of plans for a new weapon, he must re-enter his old life and get close to the real thief's likely next target - one Tony Stark. A To Catch a Thief AU.

Review: TKAQ is so skilled their writing should be experienced like fine wine. Amazing research, top notch world building and characterization, and the loveliest atmosphere that makes you feel like you’re inside a movie. Clever, organic dialogue and a sexual tension so palpable you can almost taste it. This is a gem. Make sure to check their other works.

•  Two White, Two Black, One Pink by @starkerforlife6969 (E) poly fic: Peter/Tony, Peter/Steve, Peter/Bucky, Peter/Strange Summary: Peter has three (maybe one day: four) men in his life who mean the world to him. Review: Ugh, this fic is pure bliss. It has legit ruined me for any and all other poly fics. Words just cannot describe how gorgeous, poetic and unique SFL’s writing is, or how deeply it has affected me. So if you enjoy Mafia AUs, poly fics and soft-but-also-bamf!Peter taking care of Tony AND being taken care of by the men he loves, give this a chance and experience transcending storytelling. 

•  Uranium Heart by spqr (M, 11k, completed) Soulmate AU Summary: It’s probably better, Peter thinks, that he doesn’t know who his soulmate is. He wouldn’t want to lie to them about Spider-Man, but he doesn’t think he’d be able to tell them the truth, either.

Review: Be still my heart. This is such a gorgeous fic! Not only it combines two major tropes in a coherent 11k story, but I also appreciate how spqr explores these characters and their dynamics in a very unique and realistic way. I strongly recommend checking their other works, especially Landslide. 

•  Waiting Game by @cagestark (E, 6k, completed)

Summary: Peter hasn't seen Tony in fifteen years. Not since he had their hasty marriage annulled, graduated college, and moved across the country. Their twenty year high school reunion will find them reunited. They've both changed, but one thing hasn’t. Hint: it's their feelings for each other.

Review: This fic literally made my heart BURST WITH FEELS: the whole build up and anticipation, the slow disclosure of their past, the first uncertain moments of their reunion. I also appreciate the powerful and moving message underneath it all, that true healing comes after we overcome our demons at our own pace. A masterpiece.

•  Wooing Peter Parker by Neuropsyche (E, 62.5k, completed)

Summary: Tony and Rhodey dodge the press and sneak into the library where they meet Peter Parker - who immediately catches Tony's eye. But Peter isn't a one and done kind of guy and Tony's going to have to work for what he wants this time.

Review: This is the kind of fic that warms you all over and makes you smile non stop. It has so many elements I love in fic: cute flirting, clever banter, hot sex, soft domesticity, boys being reasonable and talking their problems out for a change. If you’re looking for something light, sweet and honest, this series is a must read!

[nakedmonkey]

i know you haven't written a lot of it past year but whats your top 5 gg fic from 2020?

Hi anon! Thanks for asking! I am honestly so surprised at how much this fandom has grown and just how huge of a selection of writers it has. We’re very very lucky. I remember posting my first fic when there were maybe 3 or 4 active writers, so this is very cool! That being said, I want to highlight the femslash in this fandom because it’s SO good, there could be more, and what little we have deserves some attention. So here are my top five of the year! 

Beth x Rhea

Soon, by watermelonriddles is a really sweet and sad snapshot of Beth’s guilt about taking Rio away from his son, and about her conflicting feelings for Rhea. The author captures Rhea’s trust in Beth and Beth’s nurturing side so well, and the dynamic we got a tiny glimpse of before Rhea was taken away from us (bring her back Jenna!). Beth’s intentions are never malicious but they’re often not the best choice, and that’s represented here in such a great way. 

Eager by nomind is just a sweet little ficlet about Beth and Rhea in an established relationship out on a date on their anniversary. They’re wearing dresses and being lovey and cheesy, they’re going to a movie. I love it I love it! Would LOVE some more of them. 

Beth x Ruby

Almost by subtlesraf is...oh my god. This fic took my breath away. I was surprised that after/during Beth and Ruby’s big fight we didn’t see a surge of femslash for these two because the prompt was THERE. I’ve always felt like Ruby and Beth’s relationship is so, so intense, like their love borders on romantic love canonically, and this fic captures the intensity of their love and the fragility of female closeness and the impact that betrayal has on these relationships. I love their love and I was so happy to read something that zoomed in on them so beautifully. 

Now for my ultimate wlw OTP in this show

Annie/Nance

Not So Simple by makemeanybraver takes place soon after Nancy gives birth. She’s struggling with postpartum depression and calls Annie for help. I find it really interesting that it’s canon that despite the animosity between them, Nance can’t help but seek comfort in Annie, and Annie can’t say no to providing that comfort. I love moments where relationships make significant shifts toward something more, and this is such a great take on that. I love these two and how complicated and beautiful they could be. This fic is such a great depiction of what could happen. 

june after dark by prettylittlementirosa AKA @hypermania is chef’s kiss perfection. First of all. What a title. It makes me want to scream it’s so good. Annie’s voice is perfect, Nancy’s voice is perfect, Ben’s voice is perfect. Everything is perfect. There are so many callbacks to those moments between Nancy and Annie where they were almost getting along, to Dakota’s birth, which in my opinion were Annie’s more intense emotional moments on the show. I love the complex shit they’ve got going on between them, and look, yeah this could be messy, but @hypermania captures exactly how this could work in one little portion:

Because it was there when Nancy was on her couch, venting about her marriage and her friends and her life. It was there when Nancy was clutching at Annie’s arms, wrapped tight around her chest, just trying to get through the horrors of child birth when she thought her life was falling apart around her. It was there the next time she saw Nancy, with a whole boob out, trying to get Dakota to latch on, mumbling something about normalizing breastfeeding and instagram hashtags and really, it’s been there ever since. It’s just that it feels impossible to ignore right now as Annie watches Nancy sway back and forth with Dakota, lulling him into a restful sleep, one hand propped under his butt, the other rubbing soothing circles into his back.

Without even thinking Annie reaches out to tuck an errant strand of hair that’s fallen in Nancy’s face behind her ear. Nancy freezes, her blue eyes snapping up to meet Annie’s, and fuck why did she do that?

She steps back, clearing her throat, and shoves her traitorous hand into her pocket.

“I’m just gonna go get Ben and we’ll be out of your hair.”

Nancy doesn’t say anything, just watches as Annie retreats.

And yeah, Annie’s mortified, but–

But.

The way Nancy’s expression turns from surprise to confusion to something else is going to play on repeat in Annie’s mind for weeks.

Fuck.

Considering all of Annie’s questionable choices, pursuing a relationship with Nancy would be the best bad choice she could make and the only proof I need is this beautiful fic that makes me clutch my chest with emotion. 

[im-gettingby]

30 Days of Carry On

posted (and written by?) @captain-aralias

(I’m doing most of these at once because I said so. it’s long so under the cut)

1. Favourite major character

I literally thought — Simon no Baz no Penny no, Agatha!

I guess I will pick Simon, since I relate to him the most — or at least, my connection to him led me into the fandom.

2. Favourite minor character

I think we all know this one 🐑🐑🐑

I have written many a treatise on Lamb Rights. I’ll spare everyone now

3. Character you relate to the most

Oops— I already answered this, kinda. I relate to them in different ways: I relate a lot to WS Simon because he has abandonment issues and “kid who was told he was extraordinary and then grew up to be ordinary” issues. We also both have a “fix all the things for everyone” complex, too.

Baz — It took me a while to get into Baz’s head, but I would say, I relate to him because of his intense emotional world and tendency to see the world through an intensely romantic/tragic lens. But also he’s a Pisces. and I’d never do that like a Pisces does. (Sorry, not sorry.)

4. Which character would you like to go to lunch with?

SHEPARD obviously. I don’t feel the need to elaborate.

5. Favourite non-Snowbaz ship

Ooh! Probably Lamb/Baz or Simon/Shep or just...literally anything. Like, I will read anything as long as it’s well written. The weirder the better. (Within...legal and moral limits.) in my other fandoms I’ve been a big multishipper and there’s not a lot of options for that in CO - which is fine - but wholeheartedly support rarepairs :D

6. Favourite non-romantic OTP

So, obviously Simon/Penny and Baz/Penny are great ones, but I think the nearest & dearest to my heart is Simon/Agatha. The kind of siblings/unwillingly dating/weird exes dynamic and the way they both shaped each other’s lives is just so interesting. And while Simon & Penny are closer, Agatha and Simon represent their aspirational selves to one another. And the way that they were both tied to one another along with their gender roles/places in society and both broke away at the same time is just...mwah

7. Favourite Baz outfit

I honestly dress kinda like Baz. Anything involving a printed silk shirt or a floral brocade suit, so like, all of them? I love WS Baz, his fashion sense is so thoughtful yet fun. He’s so expressive with it — in the sense of both being guarded, being sexy, and playing with masculinity/femininity.

8. How do you feel about Wayward Son?

In case it wasn’t obvious, I absolutely love it. I mean, from a writing/narrative standpoint, I don’t think it’s the most elegant or engaging book ever written, but it’s just so raw and fresh. I don’t see many examples of an author trying to do what Rainbow did, which is build a complex emotional AND plot-driven story with so many characters and so much lore. I’m very excited for AWTWB.

9. Favourite scene from Carry On, besides Chapter 61

I like what the book does/sets up overall. Honestly probably the first scene, where Simon walks to the bus stop & takes the train and just thinks about his life and makes lists -- I love Simon. I know Rainbow said she thinks that bit is boring, but it honestly says so much about his character in a short time. (and he’s an extremely complex character!) Also, Baz’s dramatic entrance. Also, the chapter where Baz says “and I’m hopelessly in love with him” because it’s just so dramatic, and it comes out of nowhere

10. Favourite scene from Wayward Son, besides Chapter 41

Baz and Lamb’s journey across the Strip - vampire lore, jealous Simon, Baz getting to be his own character— it’s beautiful.

11. Remind us about something in canon readers might have forgotten about

Ahahaha um. Simon says he thinks Baz’s cousin Marcus is fit. That’s pretty funny.

12. What are your hopes and fears for Any Way the Wind Blows?

I don’t have any hopes because I don’t want to be disappointed - and that’s not a cynical thing, I just want to go into it with an open mind. (I’ll take a break from fandom and reread the books beforehand so I’m (more of) a blank slate) I guess just...interesting emotional journeys, whatever that ends up being. There’s a lot that Rainbow has to do in the book and I don’t think any one person could get through all of it -- that’s why we have fanfiction.

Fears? I don’t know. I think just...the series ending. Even though I’ve been in fandom for less than a year I just really love this fandom & the thought of that kind of eroding away is sad. But also I don’t think that will happen immediately, and change is a part of life. I’ve never related as much to Cath as I do now :’)

13. An unpopular/cracky opinion you hold

unpopular: Lamb is the best character; I don’t want Simon to get his magic back; both Simon and Baz should have other romantic options.

14. Something from your head fanon

Hmmmmmmm well. Just mean things about Baz really. Like that he’s weird looking, not that great at football, and actually has kind of garish fashion sense. (which is a self-roast as well - see above.) I just feel like Simon/fandom put him on a pedestal, and Simon’s an unreliable narrator re: Baz anyway. So I like the idea that Baz is this average looking kinda strange nerdy guy who is everything Simon has ever wanted in life.

And before you tell me that Baz was hot at Watford and Agatha was into him, have you ever been to a tiny boarding school? Standards get weird 😂😂😂 and Terry being into him — come on. The guy’s a violent pervert.

also - back to Watford being a tiny school. Baz doesn’t have much competition to be the star of the football team. (also, does anyone except Simon even think that he is?)

16. Favourite location other than Watford

Vegas!

17, Favourite location in Watford

I’m pretty bad at Watford lore/geography bc again, I’m way more into WS. Probably the floor in the Cloisters where everything happens the same way, just a day later. There’s a fic there, but I can’t wrap my head around all the time travel implications enough to write it.

18. What would be your favourite subject at Watford?

Any potions-esque subject because I loved chemistry lab. Latin because I loved Latin in school. Uhhhh I don’t like history class, so not that — maybe a literature course focused on the derivation of spells.

19. What would your magical implement be?

Ooh! This is a good one. I’d like to think it would be a weird body piercing. Or a belt a la Gareth. Maybe some kind of traditional south Asian jewelry, like a nose chain or mang-tikka or something. maybe a hat. like, imagine your magical instrument being a fedora and you just have to...wear a fedora all the time.

21. Favourite canon spell

Hm. Kiss it better? Candle in the wind?I should try to think of a non-horny one. honestly they’re all so cool and clever - I love the magic system in CO/WS.

22. What would your eighth year spell at Watford be or do?

Maybe something from a poem I love. That would probably be pretty but not very functional. Or a healing spell.

23. Who would you want as your roommate?

Agatha is uptight, Penny is passive aggressive, Simon is a slob, Baz is both uptight and passive aggressive.

Definitely Shepard.

24. Favourite item of merchandise, official or unofficial

My @subparselkie sticker

25. Favourite book cover design

WS. Oh, another unpopular opinion - I don’t like the kevin wada cover of carry on. their faces look so weird and the colors don’t work for me. I own the version with the blue and yellow cover art instead

26. Do you want a movie? If yes - any fan casts for the movie?

Probably wouldn’t want a movie! Because I am way too possessive of these books/this version of the story. And I am historically extremely disappointed by adaptations — I get upset with the smallest of changes 😂

27. If they made a movie, what scenes do you think they’d cut that you’d be furious were missing?

See above. A LOT haha

28. If you could ask Rainbow Rowell one question, what would it be? (If you have already, you can share if you like)

What is Lamb’s full name????? Is it actually Lamb Lambert Lamborghini the third???

What is Rainbow’s relationship with sheep and goats. Why are there so many references to them

29. Have you read any of Rainbow’s other books?

Only Fangirl

30. How did you get into Carry On and/or Carry On fandom?

I read fangirl & the pages at the end mentioned carry on, so I read that, and enjoyed it but I wasn’t obsessed. Then I read WS spring 2020, reread it a bunch of times, reread CO, freaked out about the cliffhanger/cool vampire stuff/unresolved sexual tension, had pandemic cabin fever, got on AO3, and the rest is history.

As @annabellelux knows, I wrote my first (published) fanfic after reading her amazing fic Drop The Game. and the first fanfic I read was @captain-aralias’ Greener Grass. I was so obsessed that about a month later, I searched through the AO3 tags for it, because I couldn’t remember the title or author but kept thinking about it.

[cienie-isengardu]

Hi!! I was wondering if you could help me with starting the Star Wars comics? I don’t know where to start? Thank you!!

Sure, I will do my best! Though please keep in mind that star wars comics, like all longstanding series, are tricky by nature. Over the years, canon in more or less way was rebooted few times, with the current change happening around 2014 thanks to Disney. There is also matter that star wars is very general term in the sense there is plenty comics series about different eras and with that, a different tone of storyline. The most well known and exploited is the Empire/Rebellion era (Old Trilogy), but there are also times of Clone Wars (Prequel/Episode II-III) or histories set in ancient past or far future, not to mention the whole division into Legends (previous canon) and New Canon. And frankly, every era is a good point to start. In my personal experiences, usually fans start with comics related to movies alone and proceede with other stories depending what character(s) or era interest them the most. In my case, it was Vader and later, Mandalorians who literally took me in all possible timelines.

Anyway, I’m gonna give you the most general series and if you will want anything more specific (era/character), lemme know and I will try to narrow it down in more detailed way!.

So, if you want to start with the current canon, there is Disney/Marvel reboot STAR WARS (2015, 75 issues) focusing at Luke Skywalker & Leia Organa and their friends and set between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back, followed by STAR WARS (2020).

Sadly (or not, depending on who you ask, I guess), Marvel likes to keep its series crossovering with each other and at some point STAR WARS series will be tied to STAR WARS: DARTH VADER (2015-2016). But in general, those two series (later switched from DARTH VADER 2015 to 2020) are the basic ground covering Old Trilogy era and from here, You can get into additional, shorter stories and explore the universe with less known / famous characters.

There are also LEGENDS series covering the same era, like:

STAR WARS EMPIRE (2002, 40 issues) and continued in the STAR WARS REBELLION (2006, 16 issues), or

STAR WARS (2013, 20 issues), all published by Dark Horse.

Like I said, Empire/Rebellion era is the most exploited timeline and there is plenty of long and short series and one-shot. I’m biased person, which is why I prefer Legends myself, but all series have their good and bad points; some art styles or storytelling works better than others depending on personal taste.

When it comes to Prequel era (the twilight of Old Republic and/or Clone Wars), STAR WARS (1998, 83 issues) by DARK HORSE is pretty good place to start. It was covering events from before The Phantom Menace to after Revenge of the Sith, exploring less known characters like Aayla Secura, Quinlan Vos, Asajj Ventress, various members of Jedi Council. From issue 49, the series was renamed as STAR WARS REPUBLIC and was heavy focusing at Clone Wars. The series can be divided into specific story arcs, focusing on different characters, so one doesn’t need to read every issue to understand what is going on. It also explore Anakin’s war experiences and in contrast to The Clone Wars have more toned and, I dare to say, realistic approach to clone wars as military conflict.

There is of course much more series and one-shots worth to try but I don’t want to overload you. If you have any more questions or want more specific stories focusing at certain characters/events/themes, let me know, I will try to help as much as I can! Don’t worry if the legends and new canon clash with each other, the continuity is just one big mess. Also, starting with shorter series or one shot or chosen at random stories is as good start as any other. Here is a list of some stories me and @padawanlost recommended back in the days, who knows, maybe something will catch your attention and help to pick something to start? Oh, I almost forgot. You can also check out volumes of Star Wars Omnibus series (here list of different volumes) that organize various comics in particular theme or setting.

Hope you will find something interesting to yourself, have fun! :)

[aleidawrites]

Baby Animals Are Romantic

A gift for @semicolonsandsimiles who gave me the prompt “post-canon/established relationship” for the @pynchpromptweek​ Pynch Secret Santa 2020. Have some of Ronan and Adam being soft and going on dates with each other!

Title: Baby Animals Are Romantic

Word Count: 3301

Summary: Adam had never been to the county fair before, so when Ronan suggests they go he figures this is a farming thing. But Adam's eager to spend time with his boyfriend, even if he also has to listen to an auctioneer trying to sell steers. Or, in which Ronan just wants to take his oblivious boyfriend on a date and maybe hold hands on the Ferris wheel.

Read on AO3

Ronan approached him a couple of weeks after they had finally discussed the dream-goop. It felt like they had progressed to a new stage of their relationship, with Ronan dedicated to his dreaming again and Adam figuring out what school was going to look like. Adam was bent over one of his many lists (this one a bulleted list of all the work study opportunities on campus) when Ronan rested his shoulder on the door jam to the study where Adam had taken up residence. 

He liked the large wooden desk.

“You know, the fair’s coming up,” Ronan muttered.

“The what?”

Adam looked up from his list — the best chance for steady hours was working in the campus cafeteria but the assignment at the library would let him do surreptitious homework on the job more often — and frowned at Ronan. He could remember a school fair in elementary, but Ronan wouldn’t have those same memories. 

“Wait, the county fair?” Adam laid his pen down carefully on the desk and leaned back. 

The county fair took place every August at the fairground, which was just another field north of Singers Falls. Aglionby never paid much attention to the county fair, with the ruckus of the Fourth of July always outshining anything else that happened during the summer up until last year. Adam vaguely remembered some of his classmates in elementary school talking about their 4H projects or art submissions with markers and crayons.

“I’ve never been to the fair,” Adam said slowly. Ronan stood up straighter, pushing himself off the door. “What’s even there?”

“Y’know, competitions and shit, who can grow the biggest pumpkin, who’s got the best pig.” Ronan slumped fully into the room to lean against Adam’s desk, like standing straight was a hassle for him. “There’s rides they set up for kids, like those tiny airplanes that you get in and spin around.”

Adam didn’t say that he had never been in those rides as a kid. He knew Ronan wasn’t bringing that up to remind Adam of what he hadn’t had. They just had different perspectives of what kids had. Adam had a mattress on the floor of the double-wide, and Ronan had a dad who created magical things from dreams.

“And the auctioneer will come by to sell off livestock and shit,” Ronan said, speaking faster. “Steers and stuff for farmers. Sometimes there’s baby animals from the stock.”

Oh, so that was a thing. Adam leaned his elbows on the desk so that he could be closer to Ronan’s downturned face.

“You wanna go?”

Ronan’s shoulders slumped so fast that Adam barely noticed how high they had been before. But Ronan’s face relaxed at the same time, and that was more fun for Adam to watch.

“Shit, Parrish, don’t act like you're doing me a favor or anything,” Ronan drawled.

Adam rolled his eyes. For everything that had happened over the summer, Ronan was still shit at asking for what he wanted. He could’ve just asked Adam to go with him to the county fair auction.

“Fine.” Adam hid his smile in his shoulder and picked up his pen again. “When’s the auction?”

“Friday afternoon,” said Ronan. “You just have the factory shift on Friday, right? You’re free after that.”

Ronan asked like he didn’t have Adam’s whole work schedule memorized. Adam looked up and didn’t bother concealing his smile at Ronan.

“Yep.”

To Adam’s delight, the tips of Ronan’s ears turned pink as he nodded as if nothing was unusual about that.

“Good.” Ronan turned on his heel and marched back out the door. “Hey, brat, what’re you doing with that?”

Adam left Ronan to manage Opal on his own, but he was still smiling when he hunched back over his lists.

…

They left Opal with the Fox Way ladies on Friday, something Opal herself had mixed feelings about, but she seemed happy enough with all the various herbs the women let her chew on. Ronan drove the two of them back through Singers Falls and up to the fairgrounds.

Adam had only ever seen it when it was an empty field, mostly mowed down grass with patches of dirt or mud, depending on the season. Ronan kept vibrating in the driver’s seat, shifting so aggressively that Adam wondered if he should’ve offered to go “driving” with him before going to the fair. Or instead of it.

When they finally got to the fair, just after lunch, the field was already half full of cars on one side of the skinny two-lane road. The field on the other side of the road was full of white tents and footpaths around the various attractions. Rows of red and yellow and green tractors stretched out from one side of the fair into the empty trimmed field. True to what Ronan had said, there were a few carnival rides for kids, including a full sized Ferris wheel near the center of the fair.

“There’s a lot of people here,” Adam noted as they parked and got out of the Beemer. Lots of people was typically not Ronan’s jam.

“Don’t be a wuss, Parrish,” Ronan said. He hurried around the car to stand close to Adam’s side. “Let’s go.”

He grabbed at Adam’s hand and jerked him towards the road. Adam went. It was hard not to follow Ronan Lynch when he was this much like Ronan Lynch, a black T-shirt covering his shoulders while the wicked curves of his tattoo peeked out at the base of his neck.

For a minute as they crossed the road, Adam wondered if he should be more careful, if he should take his hand away from Ronan’s. His parents weren’t generally fair-goers, so he didn’t expect to see them or anyone else from the trailer park here, but farmers were their own kind of people. What would they think about two boys holding hands as they ran to the admission booth? But as soon as they pulled up to the ticket window where a gray-haired lady with a straw hat sat taking money, Ronan let go of Adam’s hand to dig in his pocket.

“I could’ve got that,” Adam protested, mostly because he could.

“So, you can buy us lunch,” said Ronan as he folded his wallet and shoved it back into his jeans.

The lady gave a string of pink paper tickets to Ronan, who tore it in half and gave one half to Adam. He took them and frowned at them. They looked like raffle tickets, but Adam wasn’t sure what purpose they served here.

“C’mon,” Ronan said and walked through the gates.

Inside the fairgrounds were full of lines of people grouped and moving like pods of fish. The packed squadrons of bodies all moved the same way, like rush hour traffic with bodies instead of cars. Ignoring everyone, Ronan pulled Adam to a stop in front of a fork in the dirt path and tilted his chin up towards the open sky.

“The games are that way.” Ronan pointed to the right.

Adam saw the pointed tops of colorful booths painted in reds and oranges and mechanical spires that — sure enough — propelled tiny metal airplanes up with kids strapped in and screaming in delight.

“I wanna know if they have the stupid carnival shooting games,” said Ronan. Adam rolled his eyes, but Ronan’s eyes went yet another direction. “There’s the Ferris wheel.”

Adam followed Ronan’s finger to the large white and purple wheel at the other side of the fairgrounds, straight ahead of where they were.

“Yeah, looks kinda cheesy.” Adam had only seen those kinds of things in movies. But it wasn’t what Ronan was here for, and in lieu of a responsible farmer, Adam supposed he could nudge Ronan towards the actual prize. “Where’s the animals? You said there would be babies.”

A frown darted quickly across Ronan’s face as he turned to Adam, but then he softened into something private, something reserved for Adam and the Barns. It was the kind of look that made Adam think they could survive a few years of long-distance, as long as Ronan always looked at him like that when he came home.

“Yeah, sure, Parrish, let’s go look at the babies,” said Ronan.

Slipping his shoulder behind Adam’s back, Ronan nudged Adam forward and down the left-hand path. They navigated around the people walking the opposite direction, and Adam felt Ronan’s hand pressing against his back, just below his shoulder blades where Ronan’s body blocked anyone looking closely at the two boys. Adam’s skin felt hot under his T-shirt.

They walked together to a long barn with a shiny metal roof, and Ronan shifted to take the lead up the incline to the end of the barn where the main doors were standing wide open. Adam recognized the smell immediately: hay and warm bodies and corn. But this was different from the Barns in a way that Adam could only attribute to the dream quality of Ronan’s home. Even once everything was awake again, there was a sense of peace over the whole thing, a wildness that the cows, the deer, Opal, and Ronan himself all were a part of.

But Ronan looked happy enough to be in his natural environment. The thought of teasing Ronan that he belonged in a barn made Adam’s mouth quirk up. Ronan grabbed his hand before he could say anything and pulled Adam towards one side of the barn.

“Look,” Ronan pointed into the pen.

People were pressed up against the wood of the pen, but Ronan just elbowed a man out of the way and ignored the glare that he received in turn. Adam scoffed but walked up beside Ronan and looked inside the wooden pen. Two lambs sat in the pen next to the back wall while a third lamb walked around on spindly legs, jerking its way back and forth from the many outstretched hands of the people crowding the pen then darting back to the safety of the other lambs away from people.

Adam rested his elbows on the top of the pen and watched the lamb dance back and forth adventurously, nipping at the outstretched fingers of a kid who had climbed up the rungs of the pen and then hopping back out of reach of all the adult hands that stretched out to pet the animal. Beside him, Ronan sighed and leaned down over the closed pen, nearly folding himself in half. He let his hand dangle loosely near the fluffy bedding lining the pen and ignored the rest of the people clamoring to see the baby lamb and entice them closer. Adam watched as one of the lambs from the back of the pen got up on its own shaky legs and nosed its way closer. Ronan wiggled his fingers and let the lamb approach him and sniff cautiously.

Adam leaned harder onto Ronan and watched the lamb lick at Ronan’s fingers, wary but eager for something that Ronan had. Adam could sympathize.

Ronan glanced up.

“Wanna pet him?” he asked softly, his voice toned down from his usual boisterous shredding of the English language.

Adam scooted closer to Ronan and leaned down with him, letting his fingers dangle just like Ronan had instead of thrusting his hand out in beckoning motions like the rest of the people. The lamb moved from sniffing Ronan’s fingers to seeking out Adam’s. It’s tongue tickled the tips of his fingers, and Adam stretched his hand out a little further and gently patted the top of the lamb’s head. He turned to see Ronan grinning at him.

“C’mon,” said Ronan. “I bet there are some calves they got further down.”

…

They passed through the other end of the livestock barn, where Ronan had stopped by pretty much every pen to see the baby animals and try to entice each one closer. Every time he had gotten an animal to come close to him, he offered petting privileges to Adam, which he appreciated. But Adam liked seeing Ronan’s unique magic with barns and baby animals even more than touching them himself. For all his dangerous appearance, Ronan was most at home being soft around animals.

After the barn, Ronan dragged Adam — fairly willingly but still — down the continuing path that looped back around to the carnival games that were all grouped together, next to the mechanical toy rides. Adam beat Ronan in a game of “shoot the water gun at the target,” which won him both an oversized red foam cowboy hat and a heated look from Ronan. It was only when Ronan had a bizarrely large stuffed giraffe under his arm that Adam thought he might be missing something.

“We should get food,” Ronan said. “You’re buying, right?”

Adam glanced down at the beaten watch on his wrist, still able to tell him when he was about to be late for a shift.

“What about the auction?”

Ronan frowned at him.

“Why would you wanna see an auction?” he demanded. “It’s just a bunch of people yelling about cows.”

“You yell about cows on a regular basis, Lynch.” Adam rolled his eyes. Ronan was probably just protesting too much and didn’t want to go to something that he was being forced to.

“Those’re my cows, though,” Ronan said into Adam’s good ear. “Special breed.”

Adam felt his cheeks flush and tried to brush the blush away with the back of his hand.

“Let’s do whatever you want,” he tried. “Where d’you want to go?”

Ronan stopped in between a booth with a ring toss and the back of a food cart that smelled like hot oil and sugar.

“I brought you to have fun, Parrish,” he said. “Are you that much of a workaholic? We talked about this.”

Adam bristled. He breathed in deeply, almost matching Ronan’s smoker-inhale, and told himself to be calm.

“Excuse me for trying to make sure you get what you need outa this,” he muttered lowly.

“Excuse you?!” Ronan’s eyebrows flew up.

Adam grimaced. The words had slipped out. Fighting with Ronan was still a charged activity for the both of them. Adam was still getting used to softness, from both himself and from Ronan Lynch.

“Look, I’m trying to be considerate of you here,” Adam explained very calmly.

“Well, don’t feel like you have to spare my fucking feelings!” Ronan bit out.

Adam threw his hands into the air, funny cowboy hat and all.

“You wanted to come!”

“I wanted to go on a date with you!” snapped Ronan.

Adam blinked his way out of his sudden anger and felt his stomach sink in its absence. Ronan looked suddenly sheepish and angry that he was sheepish. His jaw ticked like he was clenching his teeth, like he was trying to hold his words back from where they could do the most damage to Adam.

“I can do better than just driving in cars,” Ronan said. “This was gonna be fun. Way to ruin the day.”

Adam’s stomach turned to lead. He hated the idea that this was all ruined because of him. Part of his mind argued that going to the county fair was a weird idea for a date, but he recognized the defensive part of himself, the part that constantly looked for ways that he could get hurt so that he knew where to protect himself.

But the larger part of him saw Ronan’s jaw clench the same way it did when he was trying not to let his lip tremble, trying not to show how much he felt.

Adam thrust his red cowboy hat into Ronan’s hands and shoved him towards a wooden table in front of the food truck.

“Wait there,” he ordered. “I’ll get us lunch.” Ronan glowered at him unconvincingly. “Just wait there—” Adam just needed a couple of minutes to get his brain in order. “—I’ll be back.”

He marched off, trying to see what looked like actual food in this place.

…

Adam returned with a paper plate damp with grease and soaked in powdered sugar. Ronan was still sitting at the wooden picnic table, his head resting on his folded arms on the table. Adam slid the fried pile of dough toward Ronan and sat next to him. Sitting across would be too far away.

“I bought a funnel cake,” he said.

Ronan lifted his head and stared at the deep fried treat. It wasn’t real food, but Adam had thought it smelled good and was the kind of thing Ronan would enjoy stuffing his face with.

“I’m sorry,” Adam said. “I didn’t know this was supposed to be a date. I thought you were just looking for more animals for the farm.”

Ronan snuffled into his bare elbow and then rested his chin on his arms.

“You’re a real romantic, Parrish.”

Adam bent his head and leaned into Ronan’s shoulder so that he could hide the small smile that threatened his mouth. Ronan was at least willing to forgive him, which made the shameful tightness in his belly abate a little.

“You like baby animals, though.” Adam pressed his head against Ronan’s stubbled skull. “I knew you wanted to come here.”

Ronan shifted beneath him like he wanted to sit up straighter but didn’t want to actually lose Adam’s touch.

“So, you didn’t wanna come?”

“I didn’t say that,” Adam said quickly. He drew his head back so that he could wrap his arm around Ronan’s waist cautiously, still aware that they were surrounded by people who had probably grown up like Adam’s parents. “I liked seeing you with the lamb. That was cute.”

Ronan’s ears turned bright pink, and he turned to hide most of his face against Adam’s neck.

“Shuddup.”

Adam grinned.

“I’m just saying.” He shifted his hand up to cover Ronan’s ribs. “I would’ve come even if I didn’t know it was a date. I like being with you.”

Ronan relaxed into him, and Adam held his breath like he always did when he had to remind himself that this was his now. He wasn’t being selfish for having this.

“So, next time I should spell things out for you,” Ronan murmured into his neck.

“Might be good.” Adam knew his own weaknesses, and he was prone to not communicating. He was working on that.

Then Adam straightened, shifting so that Ronan’s head rolled off his neck.

“Or I could ask you,” Adam said to Ronan’s confused (and slightly disappointed) look. “Ronan Lynch, do you want to ride the Ferris wheel with me?”

The brief glance of Ronan’s wide eyes made Adam smile through his heated cheeks. He knew he was blushing, but Ronan’s cheeks were fully pink now.

“I can try to bribe the guy to stop us at the top,” said Adam. “Like in the movies.”

Ronan inhaled his smoker’s breath and leaned so close that he nearly headbutted Adam.

“Thought that was cheesy.”

“I don’t need a replay of what I missed out on, Lynch.” A bit of leftover shame curled in Adam’s stomach before he smothered it entirely. He focused on softening his face, and he took Ronan’s hand tentatively. “But if you want to show me your favorite stuff, I can get behind that.”

Ronan threaded his fingers through Adam’s.

“I wanna be with you,” he said. “The rest doesn’t matter so much.”

Adam grinned.

“So, come on.” Adam pulled Ronan until he followed Adam to his feet. “Let’s go.”

“What about the funnel cake?” Ronan protested. Adam didn’t think he really meant it.

“That’s barely food, Lynch.” He rolled his eyes anyway. “I’ll buy you some real food after the Ferris wheel.”

“Fair food is a time-honored tradition, you pleb.”

Adam grinned all the way through Ronan’s complaining as they walked hand-in-hand through the fairgrounds.

[goodgirlsfanficawards]

Why limit yourself to canon when there’s a whole universe of possibilities out here? This week, for WIP Wednesday, check out some of these out of this world AU WIPs.

Under the Bright Lights by Strawmari / tumblr: @xstrawmari​​, twitter: @rriiiiissa

05 Dec 2020, M, 2.9K, 1/18, AU: Circus

Annie spread several cards across the table top and waited for Beth to pick one. Her finger hovered over one in the middle before tapping on the final card twice.

When it was flipped over to reveal the sun in an upright position, Annie's mouth opened slightly in awe before she proceeded to explain the card for her sister.

"Not only will a clear romantic path reveal itself today, but you'll be presented with a new job opportunity, seize it, it'll only bring you great success".

"Cool".

Annie rolled her eyes, "it's way fucking cool. You hit the jackpot, baby girl".

The Boyfriend by coolestcateva

26 Apr 2020, M, 10K, 2/3, AU: High School

Elizabeth sighs happily, melting in his arms for a moment and leaning into him. Hearing that sigh, he thinks he might never let her go. She turns her head and presses her lips to his. He smiles as they kiss. God, it feels so good to touch her.

It doesn’t last nearly long enough. She pulls away and pushes herself up from the bed, causing Christopher’s empty arms to fall to his sides. He pouts at her.

“I have a thing,” she says vaguely as she bends down to grab her pants off the floor. Her back is to him, likely so she doesn’t have to witness his pout, and he licks his bottom lip as he watches her shimmy into her jeans.

Sweet by DropKickDisco / @dropkickdisco

10 May 2020, M, 19K, 11/?, AU: Coffee Shop

“He'll see you if you go that way.” drawled a raspy voice from behind her.

She turned and saw a tall, slender man wearing all black and an apron in profile.

“What?” she asked confused.

He turned to look at her fully, and he was beautiful, dark eyes, full lips and a throat tattoo.

"I said, he'll see you if you go that way, your best bet is through the back." He reiterated.

"Oh, thank you." Beth said gratefully.

He just smiled at her, as she passed him, quick as anything, he pushed her up against the wall.

"What are you doing?" Beth gasped, palms up against his chest.

At that very moment, Harold passed right by the spot she had been standing and plotting her escape. The stranger was a lot more muscular than his frame let on.

I'm gonna lure you into the dark by Milaistryingtowrite

30 Nov 2020, E, 29K, 6/20, AU: Blacklist/Soulmate

So much blood. Oh my God.

It was everywhere. On the walls, floors, small splatters of it on the ceiling even. It was like she stepped right into one of those 80’s horror B movies she usually watches with her sister Annie every Halloween night. The bodies of eight unrecognizable men laid dismembered on the floor, arms, legs, feet. She only could say there were eight dead men on the floor because of the heads, thrown away carelessly in different places across the dirty red floor.

The wet red floor.

In the past eleven years working as an FBI agent, she’d seen some pretty fucked up things but the scene right before her now took the cake. In the middle of all that horrible mess, writing something down on his phone, was her partner, James “Jim” Turner.

Crime and Punishment: Results may vary by Sdktrs12 / @sdktrs12​​

12 Jan 2021, E, 58K, 9/26, AU: College/University

Beth drops her hand from her mouth, wincing slightly at the ache there from how tightly she’d been pressing in. She swipes furiously at her face and eyes, drying her tears.

She inhales deeply, body trembling slightly as she does, and then lets it out slowly and quietly, prepping herself.

She has to move. Now.

Beth takes a quick look around, squinting slightly in the darkness. She’d only turned the lights on in the front and in the office when she’d first come in, before this fucked up meeting had started, leaving the rest of the warehouse dimly lit and cast in shadows.

This could work to her advantage.

She knows this warehouse. Knows it better than him.

“We playin’ a little game of hide and seek or somethin’? Marco Polo? Cat and Mouse?” He laughs at his own stupid little joke and Beth feels the anger in her chest morph into rage. She hates him.

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