#oh and if you see what i'm hinting at for ratio

[ceruark]

*ahem* *slides you a $20*

So… about those other hinted suitors….

I thought you’d never ask~

If you haven't already read it, you can see my Entwined AU here and read about about yandere prince Sunday :>

Imperial Advisor Ratio has all the means to make you his— everything except the status, that is. Having been formally introduced to you as your personal advisor when you were both teenagers, Veritas has long since earned your unwavering trust and faith in him, something he has exploited a great number of times. It’s nice to be needed by you, to be the one you look toward and rely on when uncertainty and insecurity settle in your heart. You alone possess his loyalty and his heart, and he’ll do his best to steer you and your kingdom in the right direction— even if, sometimes, that direction may be toward himself.

It eats him up inside to know that he can’t ever have you. He’s a miserable orphan your mother so graciously picked up off the streets and had her court raise into the perfect advisor, and as far as anyone knows he’s certainly not royalty. He has your trust, he has Welt’s approval, and yet the only thing standing between you and him is the lack of a mere title. 

It doesn’t matter. If he has things his way, you’ll be a ruler who never marries and finds a successor in one of your kingdom’s bright youths. All it will take is sabotaging your personal relationships with any honorable suitors that come your way— and keeping you out of Sunday’s grasp.

Lord Aventurine is one of ten advisors for Emperor Diamond of the IPC, and his honey-coated compliments do nothing to distract you from the way he eyes your empire, your palace— the way he eyes you. You never wanted to give him the time of day, knowing he was only looking to acquire your kingdom for the IPC’s already vast empire. However, despite your efforts, you somehow manage to get wrapped up in conversation with him at every event. He always knows just what to say, knows what political affairs are plaguing your mind and how to get you to express your true opinion of them. It leaves you baffled every time, how someone so obviously possessing ulterior motives could get you to lower your inhibitions and be open with him.

And it’s true, he is after your empire— at least, at first, that’s all it was. But Aventurine does his research, and he manages to get information on everyone of importance: you, your late mother, Imperial Advisor Welt, and of course, that Imperial Advisor Ratio. Yes, he’d heard the tales of how your mother found him out in the rain, scavenging for food, and so kindly took him into the palace and raised him with the specific purpose of being your personal advisor after he proved to have an astounding intellect. He’d heard all about how Ratio from nothing to everything, pampered and treated like a prince by your mother’s court. He felt a twinge of jealousy that someone of similar origin to him could have such a different upbringing, but he brushed it off, not wanting to open old wounds.

And then he meets you. Someone clearly cautious of him, but treating him with kindness and due respect nonetheless. It was refreshing; the IPC were hated by almost everyone, and his past meant he was far less respected than the other advisors. You aren’t immune to his manipulation tactics, and he finds that the more he talks to you, the more he falls. Your heart is far too pure for the life you’ve been born into, and it pains him to think that anyone but him could possibly take advantage of it at any time. And as he manages to slither his way past the walls you’ve so wisely built around yourself, as he beholds you— the real you— he can’t help but feel that it should have been him. Your mother should have found him, and he should be the one you depend on, the one who makes your face brighten and your posture relax at the mere sight of him.

No matter. He’ll find his place by your side, one way or another.

General Jing Yuan of the Xianzhou Luofu is a massively influential and renowned figure in Queen Fu Xuan’s court. The Luofu’s most decorated general in history, he commands respect and admiration in every room he walks into, and his personable demeanor only does him favors. His interest in you is a recent development, sparked by your sharp wit and willingness to flirt back. You’ve clearly become enamored of him, and he’s no exception to the way you seem to captivate every eligible bachelor and bachelorette in the room. Patience is a virtue, and he’s not one to act on jealousy; despite the possessiveness he’s developed over you, he stands a far better chance at winning your hand than anyone else on this list due to his self-control and charm. 

Since the two are already on great terms, the Luofu has no reason to seek out a more solidifying alliance with your kingdom— but surely a marriage between you two can’t hurt, right?

Lady Kafka is a horrible idea wrapped in a tantalizing outer shell. Her empire has nearly tripled in size since she overthrew her kingdom’s rulers a few years ago and seized control, mercilessly and swiftly conquering neighboring regions and expanding her power. 

With the influence she has, Belobog was the first to extend an invitation to her to attend a royal gathering, hoping to establish amicable relations with her. Other kingdoms followed suit, yours included. Choosing to engage with her was one of the few times you disregarded Veritas’s advice, and oh, how you regretted doing that. She took to you quickly, an attractive thing with a powerful empire behind you. You shudder at the feather-light touches she leaves against your arm, her velvety voice doing little to mask the threats she directs toward your kingdom should you deny her affections; if you won’t come to her willingly, she has no qualms about taking you by force. 

Outlaw Boothill is a massive pain in your rear. The most notorious thief in all the kingdoms, his persistent evasion of authorities all around the world leaves you perplexed, frustrated, and somewhat impressed. Wanted by almost every empire, he seems to have an affinity for messing with yours specifically. He’s broken into your palace countless times, stealing anything from dinner plates and cutlery to one of Veritas’s rubber ducks. He’s managed to get into your chambers the past few times, though, and the thought of the missing jewelry and articles of clothing leaves your skin crawling.

Once a knight for a kingdom with cruel rulers, Boothill saw the way your subjects genuinely adore and respect you and decided to do his own research. Masquerading as a palace hand when he’s not out causing chaos, he quickly finds himself flustered by your authenticity and kindness toward all your servants, even him. You’re everything a good ruler should be, and he can’t help but wonder what things could’ve been like for him had he served you. 

He never takes anything of real value from your palace like he does with the other royals— just knowing he’s got your attention is enough of a prize for him.

(hopefully this provides some insight as to why Sunday has such an urgency to slap a ring on your finger LOL)

[solarisfortuneia]

— 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞.

✦ in need of a kiss? well, feel free to pick an experience from our finest collection! perhaps you’ll find one suited perfectly to your tastes?

(or, in other words, the types of kisses they give, and what it’s like to kiss them.)

✦ featuring: aventurine, dr. ratio, jing yuan.

✦ warnings: very kiss focused, not proofread.

✦ notes: these characters with this concept were particularly inspiring today, so i jotted down a little something really quick (might add more characters later in a pt. 2 later? idk)

also forgive me for any characterization errors please i'm still studying them

aventurine.

his kisses are greedy. 

he’s greedy, far too greedy, and selfish to boot— he wants everything you have to give, all for himself. he tastes like a burst of citrus on your tongue, always, always keeping you on your toes, his lips sneakily capturing everything they can, right down to the slightest sound that leaves your lips.

he wants as much of you as he can possibly get, and he’s perfectly capable of drawing it all out from you, bit by bit. he just needs the right bargaining chip, and he has it already, doesn’t he? 

a kiss, for a kiss.

 a fair trade, wouldn’t you say?

(he doesn’t make deals that don’t pay off, after all. and this thing he’s doing with you? well, it sure is raking in the profits.)

veritas ratio.

dr. ratio doesn’t do things in half measures. when he kisses you, it’s all or nothing; he will put his all into it.

he doesn’t confine himself to your lips, either. the philosophy is simple: what kind of learning would one hope to achieve by limiting themselves?

his hands travel all over, learning the wheres, the whens and the hows, almost as if he’s trying to see how you tick, while his lips embark on a journey of their own across the skin of your face, your jaw and your neck.

he kisses with diligence and precision and passion, meticulous and methodical, quickly adapting his methods to even the slightest of hints you send his way. every action he does is intentional and deliberate, so why should this be any different? 

oh, but make no mistake, for all his versatility and straightforwardness, he will not make it easy for you to keep up with him. 

but you can take a challenge, can’t you? 

jing yuan.

he is gentle, he is soft, he is slow— he kisses in the way that honey flows; lazy, languid, almost hypnotizing, like he has all the time in the world. he savors you the same way he savors the tea that lends his lips the subtle bitterness they carry, but they taste sweet all the same.

when he pulls away, a smile graces his face, one that lights up his eyes with adoration. soft as they are, they still command your undivided attention with the way you cannot seem to tear your gaze away from him. his hands still remain on your person though, holding you impossibly close.

and when he tenderly cradles your face in his palms, worries evaporate into air, thoughts slip away to spaces unknown, and moments stretch into lifetimes.

[generalsdiary]

09:07 am

gn!reader x Dr. Ratio

warnings: none

word count: 600~

a/n: pure brainrot, not beta read, jamming to sparkle’s theme

description: you do his eyeliner, drabble (fluff)

„hold still“ you dictate under your breath, your hand holding his chin in place.

he sighs. „I am very still-“ „yapping means you are not being still, I'll mess up the line, Veritas“ causing a glare from him. your other hand was resting on his cheek and attempting to make a perfect red line on his eyelid.

it looked... good enough when you were done. you moved your hand away, placing the brush on the nightstand and relaxing your posture. „there“

Veritas brings a small mirror to check your work, „hmm... I've done better. of course I do it every day“ his eyes leave the mirror and catch you glaring at him, „it was a bonding moment, Doctor Ratio“ your tone of voice revealing sarcasm and a hint of annoyment.

„that doesn't clear you away from criticism, especially if you wish to improve.“ his hands pull you back onto his lap, his eyes, the color of an eternal sunset, turning soft, „which would be good for you, you could then do it more often.“ Veritas smiles showing the gentle reasoning to his somewhat harsh sounding words. his swift change in behavior catches you slightly off guard.

„so hot and cold“ responding in a teasing tone.

„ah, I'd say I'm more hot than cold right now, aren't I,-“ his hand cups your chin, „my dear?“

a smile is apparent on your face, as is the eye roll, „and cocky it seems“ making him scoff at your words and look away. „don't worry Veritas, that is one of the reasons I... tolerate you“ you communicate those words in the form of a kiss on his cheek. Veritas' expression relaxes, his eyes closing.

„who's the hot and cold one now?“ his voice but a mere whisper. „unlike yourself, that isn't one of the reasons I like you.“ he waits for a response, patiently scanning your face to see if you'll try to guess. „then what is?“ guessing game isn't worth it at this moment, Veritas very obviously has a specific reason in mind and you feel excited to hear it.

„your kindness. and tolerance, towards... idiots“ to him, those words are completely true, despite his aloof character and at first glance rude behavior he cares a lot. he made sacrifices that benefit… well the whole universe; solving an energy crisis, creating serums, fixing centuries-old issues, and to him, most importantly, he continuously tries to make knowledge available to all people. of course, Ratio would appreciate those same qualities in his partner, not seeking a ‘genius’ necessarily, but rather just a humanitarian, sensible person.

Veritas' words don't fail to make you laugh and ruffle his silky soft violet hair, „and you! are my favorite~“ you exclaim proudly, with a shit-eating grin on your face, knowing he will react to the provocation.

„oh?“ he smirks as well, his hands moving from your sides to your back, he lays back and pushes you with him, making you gasp sharply. „what was it- I didn't catch that, what am I?“ he teases, his voice playful.

„an id-“ Veritas doesn't let you finish your thought, his lips crashing against yours, and when you start enjoying the kiss and the sweet taste of his lips - he pulls away, keeping it painfully short.

„hm... you were saying?“ his hand goes to the back of your head, rubbing your nape.

you frown, how dare he limit the kisses, „an idio-“ once again Veritas doesn’t let you finish the thought, pulling your lips onto his again. you can't help but chuckle and softly mumble between your lips meeting, „my favorite~“, „you mean the only one“, a laugh bubbles up your throat, even in a joke he wants it to be factually correct… or is it a hint of jealousy? doubtful, he isn’t a jealous man to your knowledge. food for thought perhaps.

„yes, the only one.“

[meowmeowraven]

Everybody needs a magical star in their life! ✨

HSR characters x Glitter Clover! NB! Reader

Part 2!

Featured characters: Asta, Arlan, Argenti, Blade, Kafka, Silverwolf, Ruan Mei, Dr. Ratio

Warnings: Fluff, and friendly sparring with Blade!

Notes: i don't know how to link part one in here 💔

Asta

Asta knew you were gentle and calm, but she didn't know of what you were capable of.

Someone was spreading bad rumors about her, the second you found out, you didn't let the person go until they weren't apologizing on their knees, crying.

Asta was shocked when she saw you walking, and dragging the person by the wrist towards her, forcing them on their knees and apologize.

"Oh jeez, someone is spreading rumors about me again..." Asta cried as you peeked and looked on her phone. "Leave it to me." She looked a bit confused at your passive aggressive tone.

A few minutes later, Asta saw you, pulling..? Someone towards her? "[Name]? What are you-" forcing the person on their knees, made Asta squeal "Eek!" You glared at the person who was on the ground signaling them to apologize. "I'm so sorry Lady Asta, i promise i won't ever spread rumors again! Forgive me please!" The person begged Asta for forgiveness. "I- i-it's alright, i forgive you."

After the person left Asta hugged you so tightly. <3

Arlan

Poor boy, he wanted to help you and protect you, yet you ended up protecting him!

He was SPEECHLESS, all he could say, were just stutters.

"Arlan? Are you alright?" You asked him, poking his cheek. "I- Uh.. y-yeah.." He was starstruck by your sudden change. "You look like you're seeing stars." His next statement led you to giggling. "Am i not tho?" Raising your finger up your lips you spoke. "Can you keeps this a secret?"

Argenti

He loves the way you look as a Glitter Warrior, and actually asks you to join him on his travels.

He even thinks you were either blessed by Idrila or are Idrila's child, he made it his mission to protect you no matter what, even if you're fully capable of doing it. <3

"Oh my, you are more than blessed with this beauty!" Argenti kneels down, takes your hand within his own and kisses your knuckles, you remained silent due to his action. "I promise you that i will protect you with my life! Please, join me on my travels!"

Kafka

She already knew your secret, Elio forseen it.

Her knew hobby was to tease you about your secret around the others, hinting at it but never actually giving it away.

"[Name], do you mind showing me that clover shield again?~" You slowly looked at her, your smile fading, trying to play dumb. "What shield..?" The others looked at you confused. "Oh, y'know, that shield. Oh wait, my bad, wrong person." The others still looked suspicious, but they didn't bother asking.

Kafka came close to your ear, whispering. "You secret is safe don't worry, i won't give it away..."

Blade

He didn't like it. Too many bright for him. He also thought it made you childish and immature.

Yet you were an even better sparring partener, but he still went easy on you, he doesn't want to hurt you. <3

You both couldn't speak about it through texts, since Silverwolf likes stealing his phone and going through his texts...

"Tch you look so immature and too bright.." Blade scoffed as you finished your transformation. "Oh shush you grumpy man."

Dashing towards you, Blade was ready to strike you, but you manage to perry by using your Clover Reflection, he kept slashing at your shield forcing your to backaway, you managed to get a small opening, and kick him, knocking him to the ground. "You.. you're getting stronger." Blade spoke while getting up.

Silverwolf

She literally thought you were either a video game character, or a hologram made by the IPC, you had to reassure her.

She liked the dynamic of your team, she would be the one hacking systems, making portals, and you would be defending her and fighting.

When Silverwolf saw you as a Glitter Warrior, she panicked. "H-hey! Where's [Name] what did you do to them?!" She was panicking, until you detransformed. "'Wolf it's me! Don't worry!" You reassured her. "Oh, i thought you were a hologram made by the IPC, i was almost gonna send you into the galaxy.."

Ruan Mei

Ruan Mei, this is a hard one, you can't tell if she is curios or if she doesn't care...

She carefully inspected you, your Glitter pad, Glitter charm, EVEN YOUR CLOTHES, it gave her a new idea for a new critter..

"How interesting.." she lifts up your arm, checking out your new outfit. "Can i look at your Glitter pad?" She looks back at you, waiting for approval. "Uh, sure go ahead." Grabbing your Glitter pad, she carefully inspects it, then hands it back to you. "I have an idea, i'll get back to you about it in a few days."

As promised she texts you to come visit her for a bit. "Ah, here you are. Come. I have a surprise." Ruan Mei gestures you to follow her. She then shows you her new creation, a critter that looked like you.

Dr. Ratio

Hates everything about it, it makes you look even more like an "idiot" in his eyes, and even immature. But you knew he didn't ACTUALLY mean it.

He secretly likes it, and makes him like you even more, especially after you helped him defeat a stinger...

"you look so childish. It accentuates your idiocy." Dr. Ratio scoffs, crossing his arms. "Oh.." it made you a bit sad. It didn't take long for him to "apologize", he doesn't apologize through wrods, rather through affection.

As you were looking down at the tip of your boots, Veritas walks closer to you, and embraces you. "Huh..? Veri-" Dr. Ratio cuts you off. "Shut up.. don't tell anyone about this and i won't tell anyone about your secret.

[candycorncrave]

So. Let's talk about Penacony and birds.

-Spoilers for the 2.1 quest (and possibly some of 2.2 if my theories and findings are correct)

Hey all! I'm not too good at starting these essay type things, so we're just gonna dive right in. Disclaimer, these are all just theories complied from random (not very in depth) research I did, and my own thoughts, so take it all with a grain of salt. I just wanted to put this out here for funsies!

With that out of the way, let's dive in!

From very early on into the Penacony quests, there was something that just kept nagging at me. Robin's name, (mixed with the fact that shes a singer.) The family's crest being a Nightingale. Aventurine's design very clearly representing a peacock. Ratio's owls.

There were just too many bird references for this all to be a coincidence, so I decided to do some research on bird symbolism and meaning.

And here are some very interesting things I found!

Now a lot of this is quite clear cut, so I won't go into alot of explanation, but I do find the "rebirth" part quite interesting, especially since it is hinted during the 2.1 quest that she came back from "death".

Let's start with Robin, since she's one of the more obvious ones: "Above all, the robin red-breast is a symbol of spring song and good fortune. Additionally, it also symbolises passion, a new beginning, and re-birth. Therefore, if the bird flies into your life you will be blessed with happiness and joy. Subsequently, most of the symbolism of robins is centred on their spiritual meaning which is believed to be a symbol of divine sacrifice." In native American culture, Robins also have strong ties with family and "heart centered connections."

Next up are Owls: Now this one is also pretty obvious. Dr Ratio's design has very heavy Greek inspiration, and owls in Greek mythology are very clearly tied with Athena, knowledge, and wisdom.

The thing I found interesting about this was all over Sunday's mansion, there are owls decorating a lot of the furniture. Could this have been foreshadowing for his "betrayal" and assisting Sunday? I'm not sure. In my opinion, that seems like quite a length to go to mislead players- especially since it's such a niche detail that most people probably won't think twice about. Maybe it will have more meaning in 2.2. Guess we'll wait and see!

3rd, Another obvious one, Black Swan: They symbolize the opposite of what the white swan does, naturally, so death, danger, destruction, suffering, chaos, mystery, etc.

Even more than that though, "The black swan theory of events is a metaphor that describes an event that comes as a surprise, has a major effect, and is often inappropriately rationalized after the fact with the benefit of hindsight."

Another one I don't feel the need to dig that deep into. It all pretty much checks out with what we've seen of her character and the events of the story so far. Black Swan is a scary lady....

4th, Let's talk about Peacocks: Now we all know peacocks are commonly associated with general wealth, pride, and flamboyance. I thought that was all there really was to it being such a big contributor to Aventurine's design. But I decided to dig a little deeper and. Oh boy.

Peacocks can also symbolize both death, and life. Now at face value this is quite contrasting, but when you apply it to Adventurine's character- it makes quite a lot of sense. A single coin flip between life and death that keeps landing face up, and yet, it's a gamble he never hesitates to make. Moreso, peacocks can symbolize the freedom and liberation of the soul. (OUCH)

And Let's finish off the doozy. Nightingales: The symbol of the family and the bird constantly following Sunday around and watching everything the entire quest without a sound.

"Nightingales are symbolic of beauty, melody, creativity, purity, and the expression of oneself freely. They are also symbolic of darkness, mysticism, spiritual awakening, and renewal."

Now I found that the latter is often meant when you see a nightingale in your dreams. It is also mentioned if they do not speak back to you in a dream you will soon be betrayed.

,,,, How intriguing.

Also intriguing, Bloodhounds are very well known to be hunting dogs, and birds are prey for dogs.

And speaking of prey,,, are fish not considered birds' prey? And Sparkle, who we see fish around every time she shows up, was the "victim" in Black Swan's quest.

Anyways. I could be grasping at straws with that last part, but I do feel there is alot of stuff going on here with animal symbolism, especially more to dig into with Gallagher and Sparkle. It's all very intriguing

If you read all this here's a cookie! 🍪 Thanks for your time :) I hope you enjoyed the ramblings of a madman. Please feel free to add anything or comment your thoughts! I'd love to discuss

[skaruresonic]

Oh boy, more bullshit. My favorite.

Ngl, it really sucks to be an SA2 fan these days. Between the hype and the hype reactionism, it really seems like no one's giving the game a fair shake.

I feel like I have to either defend the game from people who deride it as utter trash that you'd have to be nostalgia-blind to appreciate (because that's not insulting at all), or pop the hype bubble for people who can't bother to remember its most basic plot points.

Both of these stances ignore what SA2 actually is in favor of some strawman version of SA2. I shouldn't have to painstakingly list its flaws to be allowed to love a janky game without people assuming I'm huffing nostalgia.

I don't understand why people always say "high-speed sections only make up 1/3 of SA2" as if that means anything. Folks assume it's just a given that the game's only worth lies in the Sonic/Shadow stages.

Never mind how, according to those standards, SA1 boasts a greater mediocre-to-quality ratio for only featuring speed-based gameplay for 1/6th of the game.

If you don't like the treasure hunting and mech stages, you don't actually like SA2. Which is fine, different strokes for different folks, but don't go around assuming your experiences are universal.

By now, you guys probably know how I feel about the "hasn't aged well" argument; it's a bunch of semantically null bullshit that borders on revisionism and neglects the historical context in which games are made. It doesn't impart any objective metric of criticism; it's just a reflection of ever-fluctuating audience taste.

No one can predict the future, much less game developers. In that vein, it could be argued that many aspects of SA1 have aged just as poorly as SA2.

Don't really see the point in comparing the two because despite hosting the same title, they were aiming for different experiences. Both have merits and flaws as unique titles.

Sonic fans don't saddle their endearment with caveats about how much they know the series sucks, actually.

The underlying implication that SA2 fans appreciate the game for the aesthetics is actually pretty insulting to me as well.

The introduction of Shadow and the Crush 40 songs certainly don't hurt, but they're not the only reasons I could possibly ever like the game. To imply otherwise is to imply I'm nostalgia-blind and lack discernment.

Shock and surprise: I like the game because I enjoy the experience that it offers, rough edges and all. It's one of those games where its idiosyncrasies are inextricable from its identity.

"Slither" of good?

Once again, your argument fails on the basis that it could easily be turned against SA1 by only having 1/6th of the game consist of high-speed stages. You are also assuming your experiences are universal, which they are not. While many prefer SA1's treasure hunting stages, I actually prefer SA2's treasure hunting stages.

I hate how Knuckles controls in SA1, I hate the radar (what does blue even mean?) and I hate how the level layout is literally copy-pasted from Sonic's level design. SA2 at least offers you unique stages.

I also literally do not understand what, exactly, there is to complain about the treasure hunting aside from an unwillingness to engage with the stages. Rouge and Knuckles control just as tightly as Sonic and Shadow, and the objective of their stages largely remains the same: achieve your goal in the fastest time. You are, by design, intended to master the stages until you can memorize them.

You're allowed to dislike that, but if you do, you'd also have to admit you dislike a core design conceit of the game: replayability.

The point of a treasure hunt is to hunt. If you don't like the exploration aspect coupled with the speed-as-mastery angle, that's fine, but your subjective tastes not aligning with the game's design is not inherently a fault of the game. It's unfair to portray it as such.

And it's weird because I actually agree that some hints are needlessly obscure.

"Take an age to complete" sounds like a skill issue, bud. Most, if not all, of SA2's treasure hunting stages are designed around three tiers orbiting a central hub. The layout is not that complicated.

Honestly, I feel like the same kind of person who criticizes the mech stages for being "slower" than the Sonic-Shadow stages would also complain about Marble Zone taking place after Green Hill Zone. They simply don't get that Sonic games use the feeling of speed as a reward for mastering the game. That is to say, speed in and of itself must be earned; the games don't instantaneously grant it to you.

And you are lying through your teeth if you don't think racking up combos in the mech stages is fun. real SA2 fans complain about the shitty kart racing instead

Like... do Big, Gamma, and Amy's gameplay styles fare any better? Gamma may have been more floaty than Eggman and Tails' mechs, but that didn't make his stages any less stressful.

Hmm. Can't help but notice a conspicuous lack of Big fishing nestled amongst all this "SA1 was soooo much better you guys"

"Many boss fights are just the equivalent character from the opposite story" - wow it's almost like SA2 built its mechanics around themes of dichotomous rivalry and mirror reflections. gee it's like ST incorporated those themes into the gameplay or something. golly gosh, how incredibly odd and strange.

Imagine taking issue with the rivalry mechanic when the boxart juxtaposes the characters next to each other. If you think this is a legitimate criticism that can be leveled at the game in good faith, then nothing I say can help you.

"which is pretty dull since you can just spam leap on their head." - Yes, because being forced to fight Chaos 4 three times in a row is so much less tedious.

"They aren't mandatory to play as" unless you want to beat the game. Tell me you haven't beaten SA1 without telling me you haven't beaten SA1.

You can switch between Hero and Dark stories anytime you want in SA2 as well, goofball. You can also jump to any cutscene once you've cleared a Story, which you cannot do in SA1.

Jesse.

Whyyyyyy do people act like Knuckles doesn't move just as quickly as Sonic in SA2? I don't get it, man. Based on the way people talk, you'd think he moved like molasses.

You would only be entering the Chao Garden after each level if you picked up the Chao key in the stage and held onto it. And it's not like those Chao boxes are absolutely in your way and you have no choice but to pick up the key - you'd have to go out of your way to track them down.

This is such a "you" problem, dude.

I don't know. In hindsight, it's weird how Sonic got sidetracked from looking for Tails following the Tornado crash, to escorting Amy around town, to looking for Amy after Zero abducts her, to not finding her, and then serendipitously stumbling upon Tails in the process. In the two hours or so since losing Tails, we almost forget about him.

It's funny because, as iconic as Speed Highway is, it doesn't really have much reason to exist in the overall narrative. I'm just saying, weird pacing and stage placement are not solely SA2 problems.

Just because SA2 lacks a hub world doesn't mean there is no connective tissue between stages; it's just incorporated into background elements instead.

Knuckles comments on feeling gravity shifts in Meteor Herd, which only occurs because Sonic is concurrently throwing gravity switches in Crazy Gadget.

"People are looking back with rose-tinted glasses" - my brother in Christ, you just wrote an entire piece praising SA1 without mentioning Big's fishing stages even once. Perhaps don't call the kettle black?

"it isn't weighed down by gimmicks" - What gimmicks? The same ones SA1 has? How come you don't consider the inclusion of the Chao Garden and kart racing gimmicks when SA1 does them?

"The only thing it's missing is Shadow" - Fuck all the way off with that. Don't you dare start.

SA2 is gimmicky trash, fine, whatever. You're entitled to your opinion. But do you not understand how insulting it is for other Sonic fans to assume you only like your favorite game because there is nothing to appreciate about it other than aesthetics and nostalgia? That we're too stupid to recognize that this 23-year-old game "hasn't aged well"?

At this point I'd really rather folks just rip the Band-Aid off and call me a rube instead of espousing this "huehuehue you SA2 fans don't even know how trash the game really is, you probably like the buttrock, don't you" rhetoric. It'd be so much less condescending.

[awkwardgtace]

For the ask game, 🔪, ❄️ and 🦴 :3

ask game

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

ohh ok this is hard. A dream theme would probably be a good mystery I can't start piecing together or a horror novel that scares me. For mystery I oddly enough think Brandon Sanderson would be good. I've been unable to predict things moving forward in the Stormlight Archives. But honestly I think it would be written best by someone who hasn't even tried before. There's a way of placing clues in a mystery I feel a lot of people follow. Most of the time those clues placed by someone new wouldn't have the same easy to tell hints and tips.

For horror I kind of am expecting Lydia Prime to do it. She's a newer author on the horror scene (actually have a book she just managed to publish I plan to pick up). I also some comedians would be good at it. Comedy is kind of the other side, takes a lot to do it. I don't know who would be best for this outside of like a pro author. I'm pretty hard to scare, make a habit of marathoning horror games and horror movies just because. That does mean I get psyched to read any horror sent my way that might be good!

For a dream plot it's kinda hard to say. I know how my brain works, but honestly even if i'm not super into it I just like seeing people posting/sharing the stuff they put their time into. It's so scary to take that first step so it's really amazing when someone does and they keep going.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing? 

Ok so this one is kind of a lot. For some of my stories it's probably some myth, post, or my own daydream mixed from anime/games/books throughout the years.

Specific media would be MTG Streets of New Capenna set (Mafia AU), Fenyx Rising (Delphia rising), FF14 (some fanfics and an au i am working on), Oddly enough a story I have on and off struggled with was inspired by a yugioh series, Godzilla vs Kong (the fight for Rhys and Felix in mafia au). My gods might have been inspired by the old hercules disney movie.

Oh Delphia is a bit inspired by an Kagome in Inuyasha (got me looking into reincarnation). oh and a book series I read forever and ever ago. The Eternal Ones by Kirsten Miller. (I went to my bookshelf to find this title.)

I also do love mythology and folklore so I'm sure that's a big inspiration even if it's not obvious. (obsessed with fairies since I was like born. My sister can't even remember a time i wasn't).

Basically it's everything? I have a few characters I've realized over time fit a meme a little or i put together match someone i loved from a game.

Oh last one I can think of. Alice in Wonderland. I loved that from the disney movie, to the books, to the manga based in it, to the new tim burton movies. Pretty much the only time I haven't liked it was in RWBY 😅

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project? I feel weird leaving this one out in the open, but like also it's not exactly nsfw. just a little insight into my weird thought process at times

ok so originally it was gonna be the general size of a dick/vagina of the average person to then do the ratio for how big it should be for a giant/how small for a tiny. In searching for this math (cause ofc i only shared it on discord) I realized i had an entire discussion that involved at least a little research where i determined it's incredibly viable that if giants and tinies are under the same homo species it would possible to successfully get pregnant in a multisize couple with the question being the survival rate of the child/birth parent dependent on a number of factors....

I used the dick knowledge in one (1) specific story i wrote on ao3. The pregnancy knowledge was lost until now.

Most likely to get me arrested was how much a person could move after a stab wound

for those curious this was the percentages i came up with are under the cut

balls: 2.7% of total height per ball dick: 6.9% of total height pussy opening: 4.8% of total height pussy depth: 6.3% of total height

[toomanyideasandfandoms]

Honestly I'm honest to god bored rn so I'm just gonna like write random shit about genshin/hsr/zenless guys that are either self aware or not (idk I'm typing this as I go)

Fair warning some might end up as smut thoughts since I have no filter while waiting for 2.2 to come for star rail

Okay but like- Wrio is a beastman right? We're all in agreement about this aren't we? Like I know he doesn't have ears or a tail but if Lyney is blood twins with Lynette then that mean beastmen genes don't always show!! I know we classify beastmen as characters with those traits but realistically wouldn't any children with their blood be classified as that race? Since it's not a transformation thing within Hoyo then you can have the blood of one and not have the more showy traits. With these points in my I will always assume Wrio is a beastman YOU CAN'T CHANGE MY MIND I REFUSE TO DEBATE ON THIS

That said....does this mean Lyney has barbs-

COUGH OKAY ILL STOP MY BARBED LYNEY AGENDA LMAO

Actually speaking of cat like men, Jing Yuan really like sets me off. Idk how but I just see his face and I wanna punch it. He just very much gives me the vibes of liking tsuns and I hate that the dynamic in my head makes me go insane. LIKE THEY COULD BE THE MEANEST BITCH AND HE WOULD JUST BE HAPPILY SMILING CHEEKILY WHILE CUDDLING THEM AS THEY CHEW OUT SOMEONE. It sounds so cute.

Also like Ratio very much fascinates me, like Alhaitham. I just really wanna pick the brains of those that are super smart, probably cause it could lead me to somehow becoming more "normal" and smart dhskdhf. Though I don't with how abnormal they are, but still I would love to talk with them about how the difference in emotional and logical responses have their importance in certain situations and also how idiocy is more so curable if you can get past the human ego.

I honestly have no idea how the dynamic between me and them would be like. Alhaitham I feel like it would be a mix of how he is with Kaveh but also mixed with a dumber version of him.

Ratio....honestly I think he would just see me as an idiot and not want to be around me LMAO. Like I can be smart...in certain topics dhskdj. But that's mainly only in art, video games, and tons of random trivia for various things. If he asked me to solve something like in math, if it's isn't a simple equation (like middle school x=y bullshit easy) I got no fucking clue. I can do simple math fast (Fast Math my saving grace, where are my fellow Fast Math champions!), not human calculator fast but fast enough to be the first one to answer most of the time.

Though maybe talking about art could be my slight savior? Since while I don't know specifically physical art techniques (besides for maybe watercolor, but it's been years since I transitioned to digital), I do love the process of art very much. Not so much art history but more so just the passion into it it takes (it's why ai art pisses me off but I'd rather not get into that). Like the meaning or reason as to why someone created something. Why would someone create an image in one way? To experiment? Because why not?

I'm not smart enough to really get philosophical or anything, but I do enjoy talking about such things with others. Though even I need to get over my ego since sometimes I know I'll shut down conversations if I realize I'm sounding like an ignorant idiot (a real big problem I have. I just hate feeling like one so much because then I have a harder time expressing myself or I think the person looks down on me somehow).

Oh god I rambled a lot about these two and myself dhskfjfk. Either way, I think I could at least be able to converse with them. But who knows if they would have positive feelings with me.

Moving topics LYCAON BEING FERAL- cough. Okay but come on!!! Like even his introduction gave hints of him being less refined as he shows himself. I WANNA SEE IT. While I love characters that are like this I just also want to know what makes them tick I WANNA BE THE ONE TO FIND AND PUSH THOSE BUTTONS. Like I don't want them to hate me oh no, but I just wanna see them snarl and rage in combat. WHAT REALLY MAKES ME CRAZY IS WHEN THEY DO GO BATSHIT ITS TO PROTECT THEIR LOVED ONES GOD AAAA

Ahem, anyway-

Honestly if in a self aware au I wonder how Lyney and Arlecchino would feel about the player simping over them both. Like how awkward would that be???? Idk if I could face them if I was isekaied into genshin because of this.

Actually I wouldn't be able to face anyone in genshin or Star Rail cause I've said SO MUCH DIRT ABOUT MYSELF AS I PLAYED, EVERYONE WOULD JUST KNOW ABOUT WHO ID WANT TO FUCK AND WHAT MY HC OF THEM WERE GOD. I would permanently live in the isolation just so I could avoid any possible looks of disgust or curiosity because I REFUSE TO TALK ABOUT IT.

It would really be hard with the characters I like because I'm already running away from them on sight, I don't need that to make me even more embarrassed.

Actually now thinking about it....I wanna know how certain characters would react if someone was running away from them on sight because they're too scared to interact because of their crush on the characters. That sounded really weird but hopefully someone gets what I mean. Cause this is me with like....almost all the guy characters in both games lmao. And some girl characters too.

I just have this thought process of like "Oh there's no way someone likes me like that, I'm too weird and loud for most." Which causes me to avoid them because if I have a crush then that means it's gonna be obvious and everyone will know, so I have to prevent that by not being around them at all!

This is mainly for fictional characters and scenarios btw, not real life. In real life I still think this way but I don't avoid people, that's rude.

I've actually had this scenario talk with my friend and it's really funny just how much I would think about avoiding the characters I love.

Like going around the chasm just to avoid having to go to Gandharva Ville to avoid Tighnari LOL. Even thought of a plan of, since that first plan of avoiding the place would fail after testing, us going there at night hoping he's not on night watch and getting a night watch ranger to escort us to the main city.

Or that fact that I would sit at the very back of the theater just so Lyney wouldn't see me in the crowd (would most likely fail) and also happily knowing I got no shot going on stage since it's a 1/168 chance (yes I counted the seats, this excludes the balcony section).

I could probably write a whole self indulgent series of how the reader would avoid certain characters and most likely fail at it. I would want to make it romantic since while I think realistically I don't think the characters would like me back, I am unfortunately a simp so I have this pesky hope of maybe.

Anyway there's your idea dump

[taiblogcomics]

Dew Lagoon

Hey there, hip-to-butt ratios. ...Hey, wait, this isn't the usual Taiblog! Well, keep your pants on. We'll be doing another issue of Countdown soon enough. Probably start it in, like, an hour or so. Expect it soon!

But I'm thirsty, and you know what that means! The one blog where thirst-posting means it's actually about soda~

Mountain Dew Baja Laguna Lemonade

You know when you see a box, I've only managed to find it in cans. I don't always think that's worth it! But for this one, I figured I'd give it a shot. I do love me some lemonade--and I mean real lemonade, not the carbonated kind that Europe and Australia call lemonade. Just lemon juice, water, and a small amount of sugar. Not too much, because the appeal of a good lemonade is the sour tartness to it! That's the part that makes your face pucker inwards, like a popular redraw meme! Mango is also a good flavour that I enjoy, so this is something I'm looking forward to. Thus the justification in buying a whole box.

The box is pretty rad. I almost always have nothing but compliments for the art direction Mountain Dew has taken of late. Whoever's doing these designs should be proud of their work! You got a parrot on a surfboard, pretty cool. And then there's this snorkeling starfish. That's not where the mouth on a starfish is, and I'm pretty sure they don't need a snorkel! Otherwise, really dig the colour use here. Very warm pallet with some lightish blues is the perfect colour scheme to put you in mind of the beach and summer. Well done~!

I always gush about it, but there's nothing quite like the feeling of a chilled soda can between your palms. Gently wrapping your fingers around the frigid aluminium... It's almost as refreshing as the beverage inside sometimes! That's a summer feeling a lot of folks will relate to, I hope~

The flip side, of course, is that once I crack this and we subject it to the ol' sniff test, it's a little harder for me to pick up on the smell from a can than it is a bottle. I dunno if that's true for a lot of folks, but it is for me. Let's hope the scent on this is strong. But maybe not as strong as its sister beverage we reviewed a couple weeks ago, because that one actually got overpowering and gave me a headrush as I continued to drink it.

Mmm, no, the scent is pretty good! Distinctly a mango scent wafting up from the can. Very mango, no hint of lemonade. But that doesn't surprise me, lemonade is a pretty subtle scent. If you get too much lemon scent, like White-Out had, it turns into a household cleaner.

Oh, that's a good taste. Very heavy mango flavour, as matching the scent. But you do get a little bit of tang from it, there's definitely a sour kick in there. That's probably the lemonade! Honestly, this might actually be better as not a Mountain Dew flavour. The carbonation isn't doing this any favours, it reminds me a lot of strawberry lemonades I've had at restaurants. I can't be bothered to let any of this go flat, though, so we'll muddle through it.

I will probably enjoy this, and you might enjoy it too. Especially if you're European or Australian where the lemonades are carbonated and they're probably not selling this!

I also couldn't find a place to work in a reference to Lagoona Blue from Monster High, so I'll just mention her here~

[4ggravation]

i woke up way too early this morning and need something to do, so here's my liveblog of the hsr version 2.2 special program!

(spoilers and such below the cut)

pre-stream

someone in chat just said "she boot on my hill till i star rail" and bitch i've never related more in my life

kinda sad there's like, no hint of boothill at all in the main screen

i'm happy to see aventurine and black swan in the thumbnail tho, they're some of my favorites from penacony <3

i hope y'all know it's 7:20 am for me LMAO, decent sleep schedule we don't know herrrrr

just went to the bathroom as fast as possible before the stream started. call that a speedrun (this joke would perhaps land better if i was still using the cyno pfp)

stream

IT'S STARTINGGGG

awwww, borb black swan is so cute

the happy birthday song! <333

BOOTHILLLL

he really just served cunt and left huh

robin is so majestic i love her

THAT WAS SO COOL

THE BOOTHILL OFFICIAL ART IS REAL RAHHHHH

BLACK SWAN AND AVENTURINE MY BELOVED

huh, i thought robin's voice would be higher-pitched

"dashing gunman" UH HUH...

i haven't done penacony yet, i know nothing about this plot LMAO

and yeah, there's my admission of not being caught up on the story, fuck off /lh

why are you bringing up dr. ratio, aventurine ❓

the way owlbert speaks makes me so happy, i can't explain it

"maybe.... or maybe not, ehehehe" robin i love you

i love robin's aesthetic so much, all the soft blues and lavenders are gorgeous

the caged bird motif...

SERVAL MY BELOVED

sunday get outta here no one cares /j (..../hj)

WHO THE FUCK IS THIS WHITE GUY

who are you people...

her music is so sweet, i'll definitely listen to the songs when they come out

BOOTHILL TIME

"he's on his way" so is he actually gonna show up?

"someone who plays both sides" Hm. Interesting.

yes i know what that phrase meant in context, let me dream for a moment

i never said it before but his animations are so cunty, i adore his design

THE WANTED POSTER YES

"when you're on all the wanted lists" my beautiful prince with a disorder!!

HE'S A BODY MOD FREAK I KNEW IT

"there isn't a third phase... right?" "IN THE THIRD PHASE-"

we have to beat that thing to level up boothill?? goddamnit

OHH BOOTHILL IS IN THE SECOND PHASE... i honestly thought he was in the first phase. i'm sad to wait even longer for him, but at least this means i have more time to save!!

acheswan moment...

okay this film event looks pretty fun

what

will we ever. see boothill? or is he just gonna be fucking off forever

oh lord he's getting ipc bounty-d

YIPPEE MORE FREE PASSES

robin being a boothill fangirl... she's just like me i fear

a digital version of the ultimate trailblazer's guide to penacony!! i need that

banger special program! i can't wait to see my beautiful wives (boothill and robin)

also the boothill + movie events look rad! hopefully i can get through penacony in time for them lmao

[hellomynameisbisexual]

When I first met my husband, Neal, I thought he was gay. Maybe that's because he told me he was gay. So while I was attracted to him, I figured he would just be my gay best friend. Then, one night, we wound up in bed together, and let's just say that he did not act like a gay best friend usually acts. In fact, he seemed more comfortable with my body than plenty of straight men I'd dated had been. And after a hot-and-heavy weekend, I knew a lot more about Neal than "gay" had hinted at: He'd been married before (to a woman), and he was (still is) attracted to both sexes. Since his divorce he'd mostly dated men, so he'd gone with "gay" over "bi" when we met, but deep down that's what he is: bisexual. I was not entirely surprised, and I was definitely not disappointed.

However, I did have some concerns. Early in our relationship, which got super serious, super fast, I was anxious: I worried Neal would change his mind, say that he was actually truly 100 percent gay after all, and leave me for a man. (Maybe you've heard the joke? A man who says he's bisexual is gay, straight, or lying.) Another part of me worried whether a bisexual guy could ever really be monogamous. Also, didn't being with a man who was interested in men and women mean that I was competing against everyone in the world for his attention?

I just wasn't that familiar with bi guys. Bi women are practically mainstream: Megan Fox, Lady Gaga, Anna Paquin, Jessie J, and Evan Rachel Wood, to name only a few, have all spoken openly about being bisexual. When a woman says she's bi, it makes her more desirable to men. But few celeb men are out as bi—and you never see two guys making out in a bar to get women to pay attention.

Plus, I must admit I wondered whether all the stuff people say about bisexuals might actually turn out to be true—that they're untrustworthy, just going through a phase, or slutty; that they'll break your heart or give you STDs and probably cooties too.

Dating a bi guy, even one as great and as honest as Neal, was daunting to think about.

The sliding scale of sexuality explained

Understanding the basic science of bisexuality helped me a lot. Ritch Savin-Williams, professor of developmental psychology at Cornell University, who has done extensive research into arousal patterns of gay and bisexual individuals, puts it simply: "Bisexual men are attracted to both sexes. They have variations in how much they lean toward women or men." It's important to note that Savin-Williams, like most social scientists, differentiates between sexual orientation and sexual behavior. "So a guy could be attracted to 70 percent men and 30 percent women," he says, "but still meet a woman he wants to spend the rest of his life with and be monogamous. His orientation is bi, but his sexual behavior is straight." Conversely, if someone is having sex with both women and men, then he is behaviorally bisexual, regardless of what he says his orientation is.

What many women struggle with is not the fear that a guy is bi but the fear that he's temporarily bi and will eventually identify as gay. It's not a weird thing to worry about (I worried about it!), since many men have done exactly that. "Before homosexuality was as accepted as it is now," says Allen Rosenthal, a researcher at Northwestern University, "homosexual men often identified as bi in the process of coming out, like getting their feet wet. But it was a disservice to genuinely bisexual men because it left a lot of people with the impression that bi is a transitional orientation." The good news is that the reasons the bi-to-gay move used to be so prevalent—societal and family pressures, fears of being openly gay—are lessening. These days, it's more OK to be gay, and that's making it more OK to be bi. Progress!

So Could You, Should You? We asked glamour.com readers if they'd date a bi guy. The results:

__I'd have a lot of questions,

but maybe.……………………………16%

No way.………………………………..36%

Totally, why not?…………………….48%

In other words, two out of three of you would consider it. Explained one commenter: "If he's into me, he's into me. If he happens to be into guys too, well…we only have more in common!"__

Our little nonsecret

Neal assuaged my anxieties by being so enthusiastic about me that I had no reason to doubt his attraction. I was impressed by his self-awareness too. He realized he was bisexual when he was 20, and he still considers himself attracted to both sexes, at a ratio of about 80:20, women to men. My friends said he was an improvement over more macho guys I'd brought home in the past, and no one really made a big deal about the bi thing. They'd already seen him with men and with women, and we run with a pretty arty crowd. Bottom line: I was in love. As the years passed, I saw that Neal had more integrity and self-knowledge than anyone I'd ever known. And so, reader, I married him. We've been together and monogamous for 12 years, married for eight.

Neal is comfortable with his sexuality. He's "straightish," in the terminology of a gay friend of ours. But he is kind of "gayish" too. He is a performance artist, eccentric, and has—true to stereotype—better style than I do. And if I'm like, "Wow, Mike is superhot," he doesn't stare blankly but says, "Totally. Because of the way he plays guitar, right?"

Generally, we don't tell the world about Neal's orientation (well, until now!). Not everyone is as supportive as our circle, and to be honest, I have zero interest in talking with someone who thinks I'm in a sham marriage just because my guy doesn't go, "Ewww!" when Channing Tatum takes off his shirt.

There have been a few bumps along the road. Early on, Neal confessed that he had a crush on someone else. In the moment before he told me who it was, as my heart sank, I thought: Oh God, it's a man. He's gay. He's going to leave me for a man. I am a fool. How did I not see it coming? How stupid could I be?

Then he told me who it was: a woman. And we worked through it. In retrospect, I think we would have been OK even if it had been a man. In the years since, we've weathered crushes I've developed too, and a million other surprising and not-so-surprising things. I don't think we're any more open-minded than most couples—but the amount of honesty required at the beginning of our relationship has served us well.

Talk, then talk some more

So how do you make it work with a bi guy? "If I were a woman involved with a bisexual man," says Savin-Williams, "I would have very honest communication with him about what he means when he uses the term." Trust me, I asked Neal a lot of questions about what he was into and what to expect as our relationship deepened. Would he commit to monogamy? What kind of boundaries did we need to set up? Be clear about what you're asking, warns Lisa Diamond, professor of developmental psychology at the University of Utah. "The question Are you attracted to men?' is different from Would you want to have a sexual relationship with a man?'" she points out. "Many men might say, It's a hot fantasy, but not one I would act on.'" At that point the question becomes whether or not you're OK with the fantasy. On the other hand, if he says he wants more than a fantasy when it comes to men…then he might not be the guy for you.

No matter whom you're dating, part of love is taking that leap into the unknown. "The only way to be truly sure," says Barbara Hernandez, a family and marriage therapist, "is over time. It depends on the values of the person, and the strength of commitment, and whether both partners work hard at it." Good advice for any couple, even a straight-as-an-arrow one.

At some point, if you're still freaking out about whether your bi guy is really bi, you might need to acknowledge that what you're worried about is whether he's really yours. "We all need to be honest with ourselves," says Diamond. "I wonder if the underlying concern isn't the same one we always have: Does he really want me? Is he going to leave me? That's a concern as old as the hills." With Neal, I came to look at it this way: If he was choosing to be with me, then he was choosing me over all men and women everywhere. And that felt kind of awesome.

Believe it or not, Neal's sexuality doesn't come up that often in our daily lives. My failure to close drawers, his inability to throw anything away, and an ongoing disagreement on who is the more lenient parent are all topics that cause more strife than his sometimes thinking men are hot. Really, who can blame him? Men are hot, especially ones who are honest and confident. Especially ones who, even though they may be attracted to lots of people, pick you.

[spicycreativity]

Soft-Shoe Shuffle - Ch 10

Chapter: 10/12 Additional Notes: See Ch 1 for more information. Read on AO3 under "WizardGlick." Any formatting/italics errors are holdovers from AO3 that I was too lazy to fix. Chapter Content Warnings: N/A; ask to tag Excerpt: "I'm the scary one," Remus muttered in Janus' ear. "Not you. So don't ever scare me like that again, okay?" Janus considered the humor-to-consequences ratio of falling limp in Remus' arms and decided it wouldn't be worth it. "I won't."

If it all falls down, falls down, falls down

I can warm a crowd, I can make them shout

I can juggle verbs, adverbs, and nouns

I can make them dance 'til they all fall down

Janus woke up exhausted, which really wasn't fair considering the amount that he'd been sleeping lately.

Someone was stroking his hair, which was nice. Probably Remus. Remus wouldn't care that Janus' hair was stiff with dried sweat and that he hadn't brushed his teeth in who even knew how many days.

He shifted and nuzzled Remus' thigh.

Realization dawned slowly. Remus' nails were longer than this, Remus didn't smell like this, Remus had never sat still like this.

Janus couldn't even bring himself to be embarrassed at the mix-up. He was too tired and sore to really care who was petting his hair like this.

Except that it was probably Patton.

Subconsciously, Janus pulled the teddy bear closer to his chest. It had to be subconscious, because he would never cuddle a stuffed toy on purpose.

Janus opened his eyes.

Patton withdrew his hand like he'd been burned. "I'm sorry," he said, cheeks coloring. "Did I wake you up?"

Janus shook his head. His skin still tingled where Patton had touched him and he wanted it back so badly , but he didn't know how to ask.

"Remus made me promise I'd go get him next time you woke up. Well. Logan made me promise. Remus threatened me. Anyway!" Patton was already halfway to the door.

He was gone before Janus found his voice. "Don't go," Janus whispered to the air.

A moment later, Remus came barreling in with Logan in hot pursuit. Then came Virgil, then Patton again, and finally Roman.

Logan lunged forward to try to catch the back of Remus' shirt, but he was just a split second too late. Janus braced for impact, but Remus only fell on his knees by the bedside and pulled Janus into a tight hug.

"Awww," Patton cooed from the doorway.

"I'm the scary one," Remus muttered in Janus' ear. "Not you. So don't ever scare me like that again, okay?"

Janus considered the humor-to-consequences ratio of falling limp in Remus' arms and decided it wouldn't be worth it. "I won't."

Remus pulled back and made a lewd hand gesture. "Scout's honor?"

Janus manipulated Remus' fingers into the correct position and held his own hand up as well. "Scout's honor."

Remus nodded in apparent satisfaction, so Janus grabbed his shoulder and used it to haul himself upright. Virgil and Patton fidgeted by his desk while Roman leaned against the doorway and Logan hovered behind Remus.

"Well," Janus said, trying to sound better than he felt. "As you can see, I've died. Virgil will handle my estate, so please direct your concerns to him."

"Like I want all your pretentious steampunk crap," Virgil mumbled, looking around at the leather and brass and hardwood.

"It's art deco," Janus and Logan said at the same time, albeit with very different intonation.

Janus squinted at Logan, who seemed to take this as his cue to speak. "You need to eat something."

"Like a dick!" Remus crowed.

Janus sighed, expecting an uproar, but nothing more dramatic than general collective eye-rolling and awkward throat-clearing occurred in response.

Logan carried on, "Something light like chicken broth or dry toast." He cocked an eyebrow, indicating that this was a question.

"Goodness, however shall I choose," Janus said, trying and failing to keep the venom out of his voice. He did better on stage than he did under a microscope, yet here everyone was, studying him. It was all he could do not to squirm.

Patton's voice echoed in his ears suddenly:

He never asks for anything, he just talks around it until you figure it out on your own.

"Could you…" Janus balled both hands into fists. "I want…" He squeezed his eyes shut and expelled a breath through his nose."I just love that you're all in here staring at me. It's not awkward at all. " He fixed his gaze on the ceiling, only just managing to hold back a frustrated curse. Another failure. Another reason for the others to go back to hating him.

"Oh, gosh!" Patton said, but he didn't sound hurt or angry. "We're sorry; it's probably overwhelming to have us all in here at once, huh?"

Janus nodded, not trusting himself to speak. The feeling had grown uncomfortably familiar as of late.

"We'll let Logan look you over," Patton said. He shuffled out of the room after Roman, waving for Virgil to follow him.

Remus winked and wiggled his tongue at Janus. "Have fun playing doctor." He bounded out and shut the door behind him.

"So," Janus said, fidgeting with one of the teddy bear's ears. "He and Roman can stand to be in the same room as each other now?"

"It helps that they were both quite worried about you," Logan said. A pause. "As was I." He preoccupied himself clearing off a space on Janus' nightstand, willing a plate of dry toast into existence, then methodically taking the cap off a bottle of Gatorade and inserting a white bendy straw.

"Plastic straws are killing the sea turtles, you know," Janus said.

Logan looked at him, puzzled. "Rest assured, this one will not and indeed, cannot find its way into the water supply." A moment later he said, "Oh. You were making a joke."

"It's polite to laugh."

"Please excuse my rudeness, then."

Janus smiled. "I think Remus likes you," he said to cut the tension.

Logan tilted his head at the nightstand. "Why?"

Janus took the hint and began pulling the crust off a piece of toast. "I just have a feeling."

"Hm." Logan thinned his lips, but did not press the issue.

"Logan?"

"Yes?"

"What happened? When I was…"

"Incapacitated?"

"Sure."

Logan pushed up his glasses. "You were in a state of delirium for approximately five days. What is the last thing you remember?"

"Clearly? I had a conversation with Patton about… certain choices I had made in regards to Roman." Logan raised an eyebrow but did not interrupt. "It gets hazy after that. You and Patton were in my room, I think. And… I'm not totally sure this happened, but I seem to recall trying to apologize to Roman."

Logan nodded. "You did. Then you fainted in his room, and the ensuing chaos actually led to the temporary resolution of several interpersonal conflicts we had been experiencing."

"Just according to plan," Janus said, steepling his fingers. Logan didn't laugh. "Another joke."

"Please eat your toast."

"Alright, alright." Janus finished picking the crust off one slice and took a hesitant bite.

"Good." Logan nodded in approval. "To further answer your question, Remus has enacted a truce with Patton, Roman, and Virgil. Which essentially means that he agreed to 'tone down' his more distracting behaviors and the others would refrain from, ah…" Logan checked his note cards. "'Getting their strawberry-flavored edible panties in a twist'."

Janus nearly choked on his toast and made a hasty grab for the Gatorade. "How sweet."

"Yes, the sugar content of Blue Cherry Gatorade is regrettably rather high-- Oh. Yes, I suppose it was rather nice of everyone. Virgil also ceased his self-isolation for the sake of seeing you and talked a little about his feelings, as did Roman."

"Hmph." Janus shoved the rest of the toast in his mouth so he wouldn't have to talk. It had been his goal to fix everything, but not quite like this. Not at all like this, actually. He had become another piece on the chessboard, and not even a powerful piece like the queen. No, he was more like a bishop, moving laterally to move forward. And now he had no idea how to get what he wanted.

"Interestingly," Logan said. "I believe it was your involuntary display of vulnerability that led the others to treat each other more gently.

"I get it, I'm the hero," Janus said sourly. Hooray, he'd solved Patton's problems by running around like an idiot. How impressive.

"I was… I was trying to make you feel better."

Janus smiled despite himself. "Thank you. Really."

"Something is bothering you," Logan said. "I can't tell what it is. I had thought you might feel embarrassed, but you are handling matters very calmly, despite the fact that you have a tendency to raise your voice and lash out when agitated or threatened. This leads me to believe you are experiencing a different negative emotion, but I cannot identify what it is or why." Logan paused and cleared his throat, his eyes downcast. "This bothers me because you are my friend."

"I couldn't possibly be tired," Janus snapped, realizing a split second later he'd inadvertently proven Logan's point. "Oh."

Janus sighed and flicked over his metaphorical king, albeit in his own way. "I'm not thinking about all the ways a relationship with Patton could go horribly wrong."

"But you have a relationship with Patton--" Logan's eyes widened. "I see. Are you concerned that your feelings are unrequited?"

"Well, that and the opposite."

"I don't follow."

"Virgil told me that if I break Patton's heart, he'll break me . Literally."

"You're afraid of Virgil ?"

Janus ran his fingers over his temple and took in a breath while he waited for Logan to put the pieces together.

"You're afraid you'll hurt Patton."

"I'm not exactly known for my communication skills."

"Have you tried speaking sincerely instead of hiding your intentions with sarcasm?"

"No , the thought has never crossed my mind."

Logan smiled. "It was a joke."

Janus didn't hiss at him.

Logan continued, "I do think you should try to be honest with Patton."

"Easier said than done."

"But it can be done."

"I'll...think about it." Janus waved a hand to dismiss the topic.

[besidemethewholedamntime]

Hello again! :D I'm here because of our conversation earlier... where I asked you if I could request a fic where Jemma wakes up after some surgery and asks hilarious questions to Fitz while still not fully recovered from anesthesia.. may be an au, may be canon! It's totally up to you ♥

hello! Here’s your finished piece and I hope it’s kind of what you were looking for! Thank you so much for prompting me it - it was such a joy to write

bumblebees and wisdom teeth

{Read on Ao3}

or read below! 

“No. Absolutely not. You must be out of your mind toeven suggest it.”

Fitz rolls his eyes as she turns her back for a moment– knowing better than to do it so she can see. His tone is calm, without a hintof frustration. “It was your dentist, Jemma, not me. And it wasn’t so much as asuggestion as she effectively told you that you needed your wisdom toothremoved.”

Jemma makes a harrumphsound, before throwing herself forcefully into the kitchen chair. “My teethare perfect.”

“I know,” hetells her, for the fifth time. “And so does she. But it’s hurting you. And youeither leave it or it gets infected and this becomes a much bigger deal.” Helooks at her imploringly. “You know this.”

A small smile appears, and he watches as she givesway. “That did sound like something I would say.”

For the first time since they’ve arrived home fromJemma’s dentist appointment this afternoon, Fitz allows himself a smile, too.As big and as brave as his wife is, he knows she has great reservations aboutthe dentist. It’s taken two weeks to try and convince the normally completelylogical Jemma Simmons to get over herself and make an appointment about thebothersome tooth.

“It won’t be so bad,” he tells her gently, able tocomfort now the stubbornness has subsided. “A quick operation.”

“But it’s only partially erupted,” Jemma moans. “Whichmeans they’ll have to dig around in there.”

“After everything you have faced, you can definitelyovercome this.” He watches her smile again, though it’s small. “And if you’revery good, then I’ll even get you some ice cream after it’s all over.”

She laughs at him, reaching over to kiss him gently.“That approach may work on our daughter,” she says silkily, “but I’m afraid Imight require something more than ice-cream.”

“Whatever you want,” he promises, kissing her again.

-x-

“Can I come, too?”

Sarah looks at him beseechingly, holding her miniatureladybird suitcase in her hands. Fitz stops folding the washing to ruffle herhair.

“We’ll all be going, kiddo. Mummy’s going to need uswhen the dentist is done with her mouth. But it’s only for a few hours so wewon’t need the suitcase.”

“Oh.” Sarah looks disappointed. “Okay.” She sets itdown on the floor. “When are we going?”

“As soon as mummy is done worrying about all of thethings she won’t be able to do for a couple of days,” he says, watching asSarah’s ‘thinking crease’ appears between her eyebrows. “Hey, why don’t you goget some things to do and put them in your amazing bumblebee bag, yeah?”

She runs off, clearly excited about the prospect ofgetting to use some animal themed luggage today. Fitz drops the t-shirt he’sfolding and pokes his head around the kitchen door.

“You ready to go soon?”

Jemma sits at the kitchen table, a pen gripped so hardin her hand that her knuckles have gone white. There are sheets of paper allover the table, all of the lists she has made to comfort herself. “It says twodays is enough time for recovery.”

“That’s what the dentist said.”

“The NHS website, too,” she hums. “But what do youthink?”

“I think we’ll see how you feel afterwards, okay?” Hereaches out his hand and, though with a bit of reluctance, she takes it.

“You’ll be fine, Jemma,” he says softly. “We’ll bothbe there the whole time.”

“Okay,” she sighs, pinching the bridge of her nose. “Okay.Let’s go get this bloody tooth removed.”

He grins in spite of himself. “That’s the spirit!”

-x-

“Oh wow! This is amazing!”

Fitz really only thought that the utter personality changesand complete silliness associated with wisdom tooth removal existed in thefilms, or was one of those things that was exclusively American.

“You are very handsome!”

But no.

“Are you single?”

It appears that it’s not. The proof of which iscurrently sitting on a chair in front of him, mouth puffed up with gauze, wheezingwith laughter at unknown jokes.

Jemma grabs his chin with her cool hands, and wiggles itabout. He tries not to laugh at the bewildered expression on her face. No doubtshe’ll remember it once the anaesthesia wears off.

“I think you’re incrediblyattractive.” She tries to roll her r’s, but it gets lose in the gauze. “Yourface is so symmetrical. I’ll bet if I checked, then you’d have the GoldenRatio.”

Knowing for a fact he doesn’t (because she’s checked,of course) he simply smiles and wishes it wouldn’t be frowned upon to record avideo in a hospital. “That’s a lovely compliment, Jemma, but I think it’s timewe get you home, now. Get you some sleep.”

Her elbow that he’d been about to take to help her upsuddenly retracts as if he’s shocked yet. Her eyes narrow, the crease betweenher eyebrows prominent. For a moment he’s overcome by the similarities between hiswife and daughter.

“How do you know my name?”

“You’re my best-friend and we’re married,” heexplains, patiently, opting for the short version. “If you let me help you up,we can get going and you’ll feel much better. I promise.”

“We’re married?!”She shouts, then winces, but doesn’t let the pain deter her. “Oh, I am verylucky indeed. A very lucky woman.”

“You know, I’m going to remember you said this.”

“Okayyy.” Jemma smiles up at him, glassy eyed, and offersher elbow up to him.

“Excellent, well done.” He helps her stand up, theturns his head this way and that. “Now we just have to locate Sarah and we canbe on our way.”

“Who’s Sarah?” Jemma asks sleepily, trying to lean herhead on his shoulder, and moaning a bit when his head swivelling doesn’t allowfor a comfortable stay.

“What kind of drugs did they give you?” He mutters, beforethe person he desires comes careening into the discharge room, brandishing asweetie from the vending machine.

“I got one for mummy and one for you!” Sarah exclaims,before noticing her mother and looking up at her, blinking owlishly.

“I’ll save hers for later,” she decides, stuffing thebumper pack of Starburst into her backpack.

“Good idea, kiddo.” He grins at her, then turns backto Jemma. “Right, let’s get going.”

“You are so pretty,” Jemma gushes, words slightly moreslurred than they were earlier. “Like a princess.”

Usually, Sarah becomes indignant at being likened to aprincess. Her face becomes all pinchy, and she tosses her toffee coloured curlsover her shoulder before walking away. If she’s in a particularly feisty mood,there can sometimes be shouting involved. He hopes that today isn’t one ofthose days.

Luckily, Sarah is a feisty but perceptive little beanand she simply loops her arm around her mother’s free one and leans her head inand says, “thank you.”

“And such lovely manners, too. You’ve been taught sowell.”

“By the best,” Fitz assures her. “Let’s go home.”

-x-

“Daddy,” Sarah whispers in the car on the way home. “Mummyisn’t going to be like this forever, is she?”

Fitz looks over to where Jemma has her head leaningagainst the passenger window, laughing uproariously at a dog, or perhaps theTesco delivery van, or the post box. He smiles a reassuring smile in the rear -viewmirror.

“Not for very long, kiddo. Don’t worry. Let’s justenjoy it while it lasts.”

-x-

“Knock knock,” he says, gently, pushing open the doorto the darkened bedroom.

“Ungggg,” Jemma groans into the pillow. “My head issplitting.”

He holds up a glass. “I brought you some water.”

She sits up, softly swiping hair away from herslightly swollen jaw. “My hero. Thank you, Fitz.”

“No bother.” He comes to sit next to her, handing herthe water with a paper straw in it.

She takes a sip, wincing a little bit, before lookingpast him, bleary eyes trying to focus in the dimness of the room. “Where’sSarah?”

“Downstairs making you a ‘get well soon’ card with hertoy dog. Expect a lot of paw prints next to her name.”

She chuckles, moaning and gingerly pressing her handto her jaw after she does so. He holds up a box of ibuprofen. “I brought these,too.”

“You deserve an award, Fitz.” She takes them with agrateful look. “I can’t believe what the anaesthesia did to me, earlier. I feelso embarrassed.”

“You shouldn’t,” he laughs. “It was cute.”

“Did I absolutely terrify our daughter?”

He can’t imagine Sarah being absolutely terrified ofanything. The child practically asks the world to come and take her on.

“No, not even a little bit.” He takes her hand in his.“She found it funny.”

“Oh dear. Never again, Fitz. I mean it.”

“I think you’ve done your fair share.” He takes in herpuffy jaw and bleary eyes and still thinks she’s the best thing, apart fromSarah, that he’s ever laid eyes on. “And it’s done now.”

“Mhmm.” She leans against him, head fitting on hisshoulder. “Thank you for everything.”

“Always, Jemma. What else was I going to do?”

He feels her try to smile into his shoulder, before shelooks up, gently taking his chin in her hand.

“What a handsome face,” she giggles. “I can’t believe I’mmarried to it.”

“Yeah, I know.” He presses his hand over hers. “I can’tbelieve it either.”