#oh FUCK yeah this is the SHIT
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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being aromantic is like. hey btw you're going to live a life that is the culmination of most of society's worst nightmares. sorry lol ✌️ but then you turn around and take a really good hard look at it and it turns out that living in that nightmare is fucking awesome and you get to wake up every day and take that fear that other people have and laugh and hold it close until it's a great joy for you instead. and being happy is a radical act that you define instead of someone else. and you're sexy as fuck that's just a fact of life i don't make the rules on that one
#aromantic people are just sexy i'm not making the decisions here it's just facts#course ur hot as fuck. it came free with the aromanticism#being sexy is just default settings for aromantic people 👍#hope this all helps. anyway i'm on my 'i hope i die alone <3 i can't wait to die alone <3' kick rn#i think the existential fear that people have of Not Partnering specifically is so. well.#obviously that shit is strong and it is SO awesome to be free of it.#realizing you're aro and you don't Want a partner can be such a hit to the solar plexus#cause society says that's the only thing that'll make you happy. so either you go without that thing or you force yourself#into doing something you don't want which would make you unhappy anyway.#so you think it's a lose lose situation and you have to come to terms with what amatonormativity presents as the worst possible situation#but then! whoa! turns out personhood is inherently valuable in and of itself and romantic partnering is just a construct!#and that nightmare is now your life to do with as you please... define as you will... structure as you want...#best case scenario. is what i'm saying.#every day i wake up ready to spit all that amatonormative rhetoric back in life's teeth by being alone and being happy#and it's so fucking satisfying. every day.#fucking JUBILANT being by myself. and i love being a living breathing 'fuck you' to the romantic system#you need a partner to be happy? oh that's sooo fucking crazy guess i'll go be miserable then. in my perfect fucking dream life lmao#yeah obviously it's the worst possible outcome on earth to die without a partner. so terrible. can't wait for it :)#aromantic#aromanticism#aro positivity#aroace#arospec#sorry to bitches who are sad about not having a partner. i could not give a fuck though get better soon#you couldn't EVER pay me enough to go back to a mindset in which my inherent value wasn't enough by myself.#FUCK that shit. absolutely miserable and a bad life outlook in general. like genuinely do the work w/ amatonormativity and get better#life is something that can be so fulfilling whether someone wants to kiss you or whatever or not#i'm on antidepressants and i have people i care deeply about. what the fuck would i need a partner for lmao
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#d20 spoilers#fantasy high#ribbittrobbit#dimension 20#d20 fantasy high#d20 fanart#spoilers#figueroth faeth#fig faeth#ankarna#fantasy high junior year#fhjy spoilers#not to be utterly insane but i feel like the original drawing was missing something and now i fucking get it#and i feel like these are oracular visions and im insane now#brb gonna 3d model a temple and then paint both layers of frescos#jfc im unwell about these fictional teens#also yeah i draw pretty fast bec i can't sit still and watch actual play i usually work on animation shit#but man oh man has this one got me in a fucking chokehold#its literally 4:19 am guys
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#yellowjackets#yellowjackets spoilers#taivan#oh my GOD#yeah there are other photos too sorry I just grabbed the tai and van of it all#but JESUS I am so excited#taissa with the GUN#taivan all snuggled up in the adult timeline#teen van looking truly just the absolute hottest#I am frothing#I SEE THOSE CARDS BABY#I SEE ‘EM#give me all the fucked up shit I am READY
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i got lazy in the second panel and didnt feel like coloring or whatever bite me
#i think she'd be petty enough to do this if rebecca actually lived#flirting with her man. unacceptable. eats#the trend of uzi in the suit and n in the dress is the funniest shit ever to me. n would be so willing to wear a dress#and she'd totally wear her combat boots over the pants. they're not going anywhere#she should be allowed to say fuck#art#murder drones#murder drones uzi#murder drones n#serial designation n#i can finally tag it myself exclamation mark#biscuit bites#uzi x n#murder drones nuzi#lizzy was recording it to send it to v i swear shes not just playing subway surfers#i dont understand outfit design in the slightest im just making it up as i go#ill figurre out a speechbubble design for uzi later im tired#oh yeah uhhh#murder drones rebecca#murder drones lizzy#hope i didnt forget anything ok bye
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part 1 (on VA and being better than humans)
part 2 (on welt and being just a human)
#remember how in second eruption welt keeps getting covered in blood edgelord style whenever he fights??? yeah#wait first off#hi3#honkai impact 3rd#welt yang#void archives#voidwelt#my doodles#okay anyways. VA isnt human but they haven't been in a “human” body for very long so i reckon there's a lot of new experiences to make#and. i dont think he gets to be dignified enough NOT to be whiny about it. cmon. itd be so funny#second of all sure welt is human but that dude's real used to not giving a shit abt how he's doing and acting like a robot instead of a per#cuz he's got more “important” shit to do#(that's so fucking real of him man ME TOO BESTIE)#also as i told kai: that last panel is not a look of surprise or horror. i tagged this as voidwelt for a reason#i think we all know what kinda look this is#edit: and why tf would they be fighting sky people? why can they bleed? dont ask me im here to draw gay people covered in blood#edit 2: oh my god i didnt add the blood in the first panel. THATS WHAT THE JOKE REVOLVES AROUND???
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Honest to god Titans Tower is probably the funniest thing that's ever happened in comics to me? Like, there's so much to unpack here it's insane?? The tear-away stripper Red Hood costume? The knock-off Robin costume with the stupid ass yellow tights that somehow looks worse than if Jason just rocked the bare thighs? The way Jason is drawn like he is fully 35 with two stepkids and a mortgage? Jason inventing fanfiction about Tim and Bruce's relationship in his head because he refuses to believe Tim actually stalked his way into being Robin?? Trying to mimic his crowbar death by beating Tim with his own staff but I as a reader am entirely unable to take it seriously because of those stupid fucking tights-
And then you get to Tim's side of things and he says like, all of 5 things the entire time and three of them are a coded 'fuck you'. He has absolutely no time or respect for Jason's pity party and it's actually hysterical because Jason cannot stop yapping. Meanwhile, Tim is like, definitely losing the fight which makes it funnier?? Then the ending?? Jason scrawling "Jason Todd was here" on the wall in blood (or red paint meant to look like blood, up in the air) and signing it with a handprint like he's a middle schooler who just discovered Creepypasta???? Ripping the 'R' off Tim's costume when he's literally already unconscious?? Zipping away from the scene thinking "damn I actually like that kid, wish I had friends tbh"??
And then it's literally never brought up again.
#He's running away from the crime scene and I'm just in the back shouting at Jason Peter Todd to explain himself#Bestie not one of those choices made sense are we hitting the sauce too hard?#This is the only thing Jason does in the UTRH era that actually reeks of 19 year old to me#Also the whole scene has the vibes of that one post#guy in a fist fight very clearly winning but he's sobbing and wailing the whole time#guy visibly getting his ass wrecked in a fist fight but hes talking shit about the other guy like hes winning#That post? Yeah#tim drake#jason todd#red hood#red robin#titans tower#Oh look more Tim and Jason content#I promise I care more about just them but they're so fucking funny I can't help it#This is what happens when you're the middle children DC can't give a fuck about#You get put in a blender and the dumbest shit ever comes out#batfam#batfamily
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MOON 18: Oh Shit She’s Feeling It (pt. 1)
PREVIOUS l NEXT
#warrior cats#clangen#clangen warrior cats#warriors oc#wc#wc oc#jcmoons#oh man that’s embarrassing#I dedicate this to all the angry / embarrassed cries out there……….#I also dedicate this to MC Ride from Death Grips because of course I listen to them#I wonder what kind of mood she will be in back at camp#oh shit I’m feeling it#takyon#hell yeah fuck yeah I feel like killing it#takyonnnn#shout out to everyone who reads my tags to further understand me and are only more confused
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i love how illumi and hisoka are freak by nature x freak by act. like hisoka could 100% be a normal person if he chose to be one day but illumi couldn't act normal even if he tried
Hisoka is the guy that makes a conscious effort for people to perceive him as a disgusting freak every single day but Illumi doesnt even have to try. he just is. he exists and people are weirded the fuck out by him. Even hisoka agrees too like 😭😭😭😭
#like hisoka in greed island was the definition of. what if he was a normal guy.#all he ever did was lie and play dating sims and maybe 1 volleyball game. he even said shit like teamwork makes the dreamwork#even gon was like wtf hisoka is so ooc right now HFHDXJHHSJGHS#meanwhile illumis normal is just. nonexistent. because hes not normal.#that time he went “theyll realize how different are worlds are” oh yeah.#also to be called fucked up by hisoka? illumi won the fucked up hxh bitch title i fear.#hisoillu#hisoka x illumi#illumi#illumi zoldyck#hisoka#hisoka morow#hxh#hunter x hunter#my post
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You know what I love about the kiss? How fucking joyful it was. It was so light and so happy and so freeing.
The confession was so heavy and came at the last possible moment. Dorian was in his lower register, careful and eloquent. Orym had folded in on himself, shy and quiet. They have the weight of the world in their shoulders and they just needed a moment alone together. To say I love you. To let the other know. It all hinged on the moment before there was no going back.
But this. The kiss. It was after laughter and wedding planning and appreciating little things like lavender honey. Everyone was smiling. Everyone was feeling good. For whatever reason it didn't feel hopeless then. In that moment futures existed. Tomorrows existed. And Orym had one. Orym had a future and a tomorrow in Dorian.
Orym was so moved by all the happiness in the air that he confidently took Dorian by the hand to bring him out to the hall, told, then asked, him he was going to kiss him. All of Orym's fears melt away for ten whole seconds. Dorian stuttered and fumbled his words and kissed him back.
It was so cute. It was so joyous.
You know what it reminds me of? The stolen century. After Lup and Barry fall in love over years and years and they play this beautiful duet together. They lock eyes and smile at each other and steal away, running up the valley, away from it all. That moment of holding each other and just keep on not letting go.
The unrelenting giddiness of it all. The excitement. The glee. The promise of future. Wanting a future. Especially if it's together.
#silver sending stones#orym of the air ashari#dorian storm#cr spoilers#dorym#im crying a lot#lol my phone autocorrected a bit into a lot and like#yeah ill keep it#anyways.#theyre very soft#theyre very sweet#dorian's “ooooh shit yes” is the cutest thing?#and oryms “im gonna kiss you WAIT may i kiss you” is ehajrbkwjd#dont get me started on “oh i want”#DONT GET ME STARTED ON OH I WANT#because that has also done something to me#i know dorym has been very#first love (◕ᴗ◕✿)#inexperienced (◕ᴗ◕✿)#out of practice (◕ᴗ◕✿)#but the enthusiasm in his voice.#the “im ready to start my life” of it all#im ready to start my life with you#if i didnt already make an edit with dorian and dust & ashes id fucking make it now#someone please ask me about dorian and pierre parallels im dying over here#because dorian storm signing thats last “im ready” because he is ready to love and be loved#im sick#im making myself sick#i love them so much#im going to cry
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Catching up on more recent FT stuff and um
EDO LUCY HAS A KID?
EDO LUCY AND EDO NATSU ARE MARRIED??? AND HAVE A DAUGHTER?? NALU CANON???
Also oh my FUCKING god look at him. He’s such a proud dad I’m going to throw up I love him so much
And the fact that Natsu gets attached to her IMMEDIATELY and goes into overprotective Dad Mode when she’s not even his daughter, technically (and Gray too over his own Edo kid 🤧)
Natsu: I’ve decided I’m taking her home with me. No objections
HOMIE DEADASS IS SIGNING THE ADOPTION PAPERS ALREADY. It was love at first sight. Natsu loves her so much he wants to kidnap her. Shut UP,
#SCREAMING ABAHEJJFJSJFNSNSNS#A. I fucking LOVE the Edolas arc and the entire concept of mirror people#B. I fucking love Edo Natsu so much holy SHIT. AND I FIND OUT HE MARRIED LUCY AND IS A DAD. SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP#C. Natsu being 100% ready to throw down for Nasha AND take her home with him. 11/10 Dad Material#Also the fact that Natsu was not fazed WHATSOEVER at Edo Lucy and Edo Natsu being a couple#He saw their daughter and was like oh my god. I’m going to have a kid like this with Lucy someday.#I’M THROWING A FUCKIGN FIT OVER HERE OH MY GODDDDDDD#Gray: Yeah so I met our alternate selves and they’re married and have a kid and I tried to take him back with me but I couldn’t#Juvia: GRAY-SAMA??????#Idk if Nalu isn’t endgame canon they’re canon in Edolas and that’s ENOUGH FOR ME#Fairy Tail#FT#Fairy Tail spoilers#Shima speaks#Nalu
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ultimately when it comes to shipping and fandom space treatment of aspec characters i just don't accept "aro/ace people can still date/have sex" as an answer from nonaspecs. like yeah. mhm. okay. now i think we both know that you're not saying that out of real interest in the diversity of aspec experiences. so you can turn in your seventeen-page essay on why and how you plan to examine this character's aspec identity within the context of a romantic or sexual relationship complete with evidence from canon and peer reviews from multiple aspec people within the next week or i'm putting you in the pit from the edgar allen poe story
#you know. the one with the pendulum#'hey. why are you as an allo person shipping this aspec character like this'#'oh aspec people can still date/have sex!'#'yeah. now can you answer the question that i actually asked you'#like goddamn just say you don't care they're aspec and you want to fulfill a sexual/romantic fantasy with them. that's Fine#it like. sucks. for sure. lotta aspec people will be unhappy with you. but everyone is entitled to their own wants and experiences.#but i'd prefer you just be honest with it rather than using our community's conversation points as retroactive justification#and ONCE AGAIN. you guys are real fucking cavalier with this shit and it shows a real fundamental lack of respect for aspecs#when most of you would NEVER ship a canonically gay character with the 'other' gender. cause again. it would suck.#you can do it. nobody's Stopping you. but it would suck.#and we understand that putting a queer character in situations that erase that queerness is shitty! until it comes to aspec characters!#and whoa... there it is again... people don't consider aspec identities to be queer... crazy how it always comes back to that#anyway. you all know what i'm talking about. have seen many posts about this lately#it is [ long sigh ] unfortunately a very hot button issue with the advent lately of alastor hazbinhotel#which. again. god i wish there were other canon aspec characters to be having this conversation about.#but we'll have to do our best with what we have#aromantic#aromanticism#arospec#aroace#talking#aspec#asexual#asexuality
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Billy’s allowed to sit on the throne in the rock of eternity there’s just also another perfectly rectangular rock over his head to remind him that if he ever gets to full of himself and tries to take more then he was given, well… there’s a reason they call him the world’s mightiest mortal
#leo says shit#billy batson#dc captain marvel#dc shazam#shazam#i think literally everything should be just a little fucked up and morbid in the rock#like. it’s magic. it’s dark and powerful and not to be toyed with.#Billy’s emblem is lightning. his blood isn’t sparkles it’s a deadly force of nature.#yes there’s talking animals and body swaps and billy is the magic somewhere between cartoons and folk horror and religion#the rock should feel like the weight of every soul and billy should see that#because he’s seen the worse of the world and come out an optimist#magic is freedom but freedom is responsiblity. that’s what captain marvel is.#sorry what was I saying? oh yeah uhhh I think Billy should have a dark sense of humor and so do the gods
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Oh so the clown ads are over? Too late Tumblr I already cancelled ad free uninstalled your app and discovered the power of ublock in mobile FireFox. AND tags are editable in the web version?
There's no going back
#fuck you and the clown you rode in on Tumblr#I gave you money in misguided token support#now I dream of someone setting up a social media site AO3 style#non-profit that shit#no ads ever#(but yeah let's agree to perma ban the nazis and the terfs)#(haters already bought themselves the bird site)#oh for the programming knowledge to set up a permanent ad-free home for fandom#is there a GitHub project for this?#Tumblr#one piece#Luffy#ad free#which is anything but
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THEY'RE CANON ASGREASIOAD-
u may not be able to tell, but i am extremely happy bc of this occurrence.
they're r gonna be the most awkward, wholesome pair ever, and i am all in for it.
[EP: Lunar TRIES AGAIN With Gemini In VRChat(LAES)]
#i was fucking shaking when watching it i am not even kidding#i am so not ok about them.#imagine the angst possibility now#oh gods imagine#we're in some deep shit chat#this day literally went from horrible to mid to the greatest one in history#hell fuck yeah#that's exactly what i needed#thank you laes gods#I CAN MAKE THEM KISS- anyway#sams#sun and moon show#sams fanart#laes#lunar and earth show#laes fanart#tsbs#the security breach show#lunar#lunar fanart#sams lunar#laes lunar#gemini#gemini fanart#sams gemini#laes gemini#lumini#lunar x gemini#gemini x lunar#art
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She’s such a good mother figure it makes me cry.
Quick something because my brain has rotted to a degree.
#art#fanart#my art#original art#Steven universe#Steven universe fanart#Steven universe fan art#su#su garnet#garnet su#Steven universe garnet#garnet Steven universe#garnet#eyestrain#?#I’m losing it I’m losing it I’m losing it I’m losing it I’m losing it I’m losing it I’m losing it I’m losing it I’m losiNG MY MARBLES#so silly#NEXT MONTH IS JULY. FINALS AND UHHH PROJECTS YEAH fuck science fairs I thought it was gonna be exciting but can’t be happy with mental illne#ss#venting aside I absolutely love garnet she’s my favorite she’s the mother I want to have. already love my mother but can’t she just be her#oh yeah her fusion with amethyst GURL ITS NICKI MINAJ#MEOOOOW slay slayslayslayslay#I have not watched steven universe though I do not know shit I just know that I want to be adopted by garnet#crying right now#I didn’t know that missing therapy one time would fuck me up this hard
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