#officially ending my journey w it but i think i am done w all the actual drawing). so got bored and decided to try to sketch how i imagine

[pallases]

i have officially progressed into capable-of-starting-sketching-on-digital-tablet stage i think 👍🏻

[middleearthpixie]

After the Fire ~ Chapter Forty-Four

Summary: Following the Battle of the Five Armies, a grievously wounded Thorin is brought back to the kingdom of Erebor, which is still mostly in ruins. Although he’s survived the wounds he received at the end of Azog’s blade, his recovery is far from complete. Grief, regret, anger, all are making his journey that much more difficult and the physical recovery isn’t quite the most difficult challenge he faces.

Jasna Stoneham is no stranger to loss, as she is a survivor of Smaug’s wrath upon Esgaroth. When she is asked to help the dwarves healers of Erebor, her instinct is to say no, but she needs the job, and so agrees to it. However, no one told her that of all the patients, she would be responsible for the king himself, Thorin Oakenshield. 

Unfortunately, the road to recovery isn’t necessary a smooth one, but if there’s one thing Thorin will learn, it’s that Jasna is just as stubborn as he is and for every step back he takes, she is there to push him three steps forward. And Jasna will soon find out that there is a gentle, softer side to the dwarf king, one that very few people have ever seen and one he fights to keep hidden from her as well. But like his recovery, that is also easier said than done. 

Summary: In Dale, Thorin grows jealous of the attention Bard pays to Jasna…

Pairing: Thorin Oakenshield x ofc Jasna Stoneham

Characters: Jasna, Thorin, Óin, Bard, Sigrid

Warnings: None

Rating: T

Word Count: 2,785

Tag List: @tschrist1 @i-did-not-mean-to @lathalea @linasofia @fizzyxcustard @legolasbadass @kibleedibleedoo @xxbyimm @arrthurpendragon @exhausted-humxn-being @rachel1959 @laurfilijames @sketch-and-write-lover @sherala007 @enchantzz @knittastically @notlostgnome @myselfandfantasy @medusas-hairband @guardianofrivendell @jotink78 @sorisooyaa @ruthoakenshield @frosticenow @quiall321 @dianakc

If you’d like to be added (or removed) to the tag list, please just let me know!

Previous chapters can be found here. 

“Miss—er—Yer Majesty? Might I have a word with ye?”

Jasna rolled her eyes. “Óin, please, for the last time, Jasna is fine.”

“Oh, I couldn’t be so bold.”

“You can and you will if you wish me to answer you.” She turned toward him, hands on her hips. “I promise you, I don't mind. Thorin won’t mind. Neither one of us will mind, so please… use my name?”

He smiled then. “I have your final grades.”

Her belly did a slow flip and her mouth went dry. “Do I want to know?”

“Ye are now officially qualified to see and treat any body that comes through that door, whether Narnerra or I are here or not. Well done, Mrs. Durin.”

She smiled and without thinking, wrapped Óin in a tight embrace. “Thank you!”

“Thank you? Why are ye thanking me?” he carefully untangled from her and held out the long stiff envelope in his hand. “Ye did all of this yerself, you know. I told ye how ye had gift. Perhaps now ye’ll believe me?”

She took the envelope, her hands shaking as she opened it and her eyes filled with tears at the certificate proclaiming her as a healer. “Oh, I don't know… it still seems too good to be true.”

“Ye’ll still need to just run things by us, let us look over yer work when ye finish, but I daresay, there will be need for that for only a short while. Ye’ve done excellent work and I am as proud of ye as if ye were my own daughter.”

She hugged him again. “You have no idea what that means to me to hear, Óin. I know you w-w-w-weren’t exactly th-th-thrilled to have me here last winter.”

“I admit, I was hesitant but we needed a body. And I am not too proud to admit I was wrong about ye. We are lucky to have ye. Just as Thorin is.”

“Would you mind if I went to tell him?”

Óin offered up a long look. “Yer the Queen, Yer Majesty. I think it safe to say ye outrank me.”

“Óin!”

“Is he giving you a hard time, mesmel?” Thorin asked as he came into the infirmary. “Because if he is—”

“He’s not at all. In fact, he’s doing the opposite and killing me with respect.”

“As he should.” Thorin winked.

“Oh, no. Not you, too.”

“What is this?” He reached for the envelope, which she let him take, and as he slid the parchment from it, he smiled and nodded. “I can hardly say I’m surprise, amrâlimê. You are good at what you do.”

“I guess perhaps I am.”

He reached for her, drawing her into his arms. “You are. Now, I’m on my way to Dale, and while I hope to be back before sundown, it’s entirely possible the bowman will have me there far longer.”

“I can go with you, if you like. He doesn’t seem to give me any trouble.”

“That’s because yer far prettier than this old goat,” Óin broke in.

“Oh, that’s not nice, nor is it true.”

“It most definitely is true,” Thorin told her, grinning as he eased an arm about her waist. “You’re absolutely prettier than I am. And if you wish to come with me, I’d love the company. Let me just tell Dwalin and we’ll be on our way.”

“Did you have a chance to speak with Mr. Baggins before he left?”

“I did and he was a little hesitant at first,” Thorin admitted somewhat sheepishly, “but then invited us to pay him a call, should we find ourselves in the Shire.”

Jasna frowned. “That isn’t very encouraging.”

“No, it isn’t. And I don't suppose I might fault him, but at the same time…”

She sighed softly. “We don't have to visit the Shire. I’d rather not make him uncomfortable.”

“He has no cause to be uncomfortable. He and I were but friends.”

“Well, that’s how you saw it. He, however, saw it differently. It would be as if you and Shael had come to pay my mother a visit.”

“But, mesmel, Bilbo and I were not lovers.”

“I know that. But he still is in love with you and it does not matter that you have never felt the same way toward him.”

A pained look crept across his face. “Perhaps then we should avoid the Shire. At least for now. In time, his feelings might change.”

“They might, true.” Even as she said it, though, Jasna did not believe it. Somehow, she had the feeling Thorin was far more difficult to get over than he imagined himself to be. “I would like to see Rivendell, though.”

“And you shall. Rivendell and Mirkwood. And hopefully no spiders.”

***

Jasna tucked her arm through Thorin’s as they made their way along Dale’s main street. It was a beautiful day, although the summer’s heat crept in early and reminded her of why she preferred the colder months overall. But, autumn was only a short time off and then winter would return and she smiled, thinking of the leather bracelet she’d bought to give Thorin the day she and Narnerra ventured into Dale.

She glanced up at him. That day had ended so terribly and when she’d left Erebor that night, she was positive she would never see it—or Thorin—again. But the universe had a way of righting itself and now there she was, with him.

“What’s on your mind?” 

His murmured question jolted her from her reverie. “I beg your pardon?”

“You looked up at me with a very serious expression. Am I in trouble?”

“Should you be?”

“I should hope not, but I’ve learned in dealing with my sister, women don't always tell you right away.”

She rolled her eyes. “You’ve much to learn about women, you know. Trust me, if you’ve angered me, I will definitely l-l-let you know.”

“I wonder if I should be glad or dread it.”

“I think it safe to say you will eventually find out.”

He chuckled as they made their way up the steps of the Provincial House and he rapped the brass knocker against the door. “I wonder if the older daughter will be her usual warm and friendly self to me?”

“Thorin, she’s not necessarily out of line to be upset with you.”

He offered up a long look. “Perhaps she needs to learn to let the past lie.”

Jasna gave his arm a squeeze. She certainly didn't want to fight with him, even if she understood exactly why Sigrid refused to warm up to him. 

The door opened and Jasna bit back a smile as Sigrid said, “Miss Jasna! It’s wonderful to see you! How are you?”

“I’m good, Miss Sigrid, and how are you?”

“I’m fine. Da is in a bit of a mood, but otherwise nothing much changes here.” She slid her gaze to Thorin and her smile faded. “Good afternoon, Your Majesty.”

“Good afternoon, Miss Sigrid. I have a meeting today with your father and I hope neither of you minds that Her Majesty has come with me.”

“Of course not. We like her.”

From the corner of her eye, Jasna saw Thorin’s jaw tighten, and she cleared her throat, “Might we come in?”

“Oh, of course.” Sigrid stepped back to allow them room, then called, “Da! The King and Queen of Erebor are here!”

The Queen of Erebor. Jasna’s belly fluttered at the sound of it. She wondered if she would ever get used to hearing in in reference to herself. Somehow, she didn't think so. 

“Ah, Thorin, Miss Jasna,” Bard smiled as he came down the main staircase, “or would you prefer I call you Your Majesty?”

She laughed, shaking her head. “Don’t you dare, Bard. I hear enough of th-that in Erebor from Narnerra and Óin.”

“They respect you, mesmel,” Thorin said, his voice low.

“I understand that and appreciate it,” she told him, shaking her head, “but I’ve assured them it’s quite all right to use my given name as they always did.”

“They won’t, though.”

“I’ve noticed.”

 Bard looked from her to Thorin and back. “I’m sure they wish you to know they respect you.”

“I know they do. But it sounds so strange still.”

“You’ve only been the Queen a day,” Bard reminded her with with a chuckle, “it won’t always sound so strange.”

Sigrid looked from her father to Thorin. “Shall I fetch coffee or tea?”

“Tea would be lovely, Sigrid,” Bard replied with a nod. “And we’ll be in my office. Miss—Your Majesty, will you be joining us?”

“If you wouldn’t mind having me.”

“Of course not.” Bard glanced at Thorin. “I would be more surprised if you didn't wish to sit in with us. I know how your mind works.”

“Do you?” Thorin replied slowly. “For I am still learning.”

“Well, Jasna and I go back to childhood almost.”

“Almost.” Jasna replied with a grin. “You are still older than me.”

“Only by a few years. Not enough to matter.”

Sigrid smiled. “Wait, you knew Da when he was my age?”

Jasna nodded. “Oh, I did, indeed. And he was a tr-tr-troublemaker.”

“Da?” Sigrid stared up at him. “Are you serious, Miss Jasna?”

“Very much so, yes.”

“I was not nearly as bad as she likes to make it seem,” Bard broke in with a low chuckle. “In fact, you should only know what I could tell you about her.”

Thorin cleared his throat. “If we might…”

“Oh, right.” A hint of color showed along Bard’s cheekbones. “Of course. Right in here.”

Jasna bit the inside of her cheek as Thorin marched into the room ahead of her. If she didn't know any better, she’d swear he was jealous of Bard. Which was funny, really, as surely he couldn't think there had been anything between her and Bard. He knew for a fact he was the first, and only, man she’d ever been with.

So why would he be jealous?

And yet, he couldn’t look at Bard without a glare and Jasna knew Thorin well enough to recognize the tension in his jaw, the tension in his broad shoulders. He looked over at her and when she smiled, his eyes softened and she didn't know if it was intentional or not, but his hand came to rest atop hers, his thick fingers tightening slightly.

“So, are the first inspections ready to begin?” Thorin asked, his thumb brushing along the side of her hand.

“Yes and no.”

“Yes and no? How is that even possible?”

“Some of them are, but some are not. The pilings have been set, and are ready, but the contractor ran out of lumber before finished the docks and walkways.”

“Ran out?” Thorin shook his head. “You mean to tell me, the man whose job it is to know how much lumber he needed to build what he knew needed budding, didn’t know how much he needed?”

“Yes and no.”

Thorin scowled. “Again with the yes and no.”

“You and I need to pay Mr. Walters a visit. I have a feeling one of his men is trying to pad his coffers by pretending to run short on supplies. He has a yard here, in the northern part of the city, and I think that is where we will find his surplus.”

“So, you hired a man who in turn is attempting to cheat me?”

Jasna winced at the cold undertone of Thorin’s deep voice. “Thorin, I doubt Bard—” she began.

Bard interrupted her. “No, I hired a man who I’ve dealt with before, but who has hired an overseer for this project. The overseer is the one I think is trying to swindle us.”

“Us?” Thorin let out a thoroughly humorless laugh. “What us, Bard? I am the one being swindled. Erebor’s coffers are the ones being stolen from. If this man is stealing from me, I most assuredly wish to speak to him. Now.”

Bard’s eyes widened. “Now?”

“Yes, now. Should I wait for him to steal even more from me?” Thorin pushed back his chair and got to his feet. “So, shall we?”

“Very well.”

Jasna watched them both stand. “If you don't mind, I think I will stay here. Perhaps Miss Sigrid might catch me up on the gossip that I’ve missed, being in Erebor all this time.”

“Of course,” Bard said warmly, smiling as he added, “Make yourself at home, as always. Miss Jasna.”

Jasna didn't miss the way Thorin’s jaw tightened, and she held her breath as she waited for him to say something. But, instead, he just looked from Bard to her, and leaned over to capture her lips in a kiss that went from light to deep in the blink of an eye. He slid an arm about her waist, bending her back slightly as his lips parted and his tongue swept along hers to steal the breath from her lungs. 

When he finally drew back, he smiled, his eyes soft as they held hers. “Behave, mesmel.”

“You as well. Make no trouble, Thorin.”

“I promise nothing. Especially if this man is truly trying to steal from me. I will not take kindly to it, you understand.”

She glanced at the sword on his back and offered up a silent prayer he didn't think to draw it on anyone. “I mean with Bard, too.”

“The Bowman would do well to watch his tongue where you are concerned. He seems a bit too friendly for my liking.”

“I’ve known Bard most of my life, Thorin. You’ve nothing to worry about.”

“Be that as it may, he is a bit too friendly for my liking.”

In the doorway, Bard paused as if he’d heard them whispering about him, and turned. “Are you coming, Thorin?”

“Yes, yes.” Thorin bent and brushed her lips once more, his kiss not quite as deep as before. “Do not gossip too much.”

“Go. And try not to hurt anyone in the process.”

“I promise nothing.”

***

“I admit, I am surprised you didn't send one of the others in your stead.”

Thorin glanced over at Bard as they made their way down Oak Street, toward the northeastern corner of Dale, where the lumber yards were located. “Why?”

“Well, your wedding was but a day ago.”

“And my bride understands that some things will not wait. Not even for a king. Or especially for a king.”

“Why am I not surprised?”

“What is your interest in Jasna?” Thorin asked bluntly, stepping before him and halting him with a hand to the man’s chest. 

Bard seemed a bit surprised by the question, stopping suddenly, his eyes wide. “I beg your pardon?”

“I believe I was quite clear, bowman. What is your interest in my wife?”

“She is but a friend, Thorin. An old, dear friend, is all. Why?”

“You just seem to be quite at ease with her and I am not at all certain I care for it.”

“So, she is not allowed to have friends?”

“Friends?” Thorin snorted without thinking. “Am I to believe you have women friends, Bard? I’ve not seen you with any other than Jasna.”

“Just because you’ve not seen it, does not mean they don’t exist, my friend. And you’ve seen me with Jasna but once. And if I recall, you had another woman with you, didn't you?”

Thorin’s gut tightened at the quiet confidence in Bard’s low voice. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing.” Bard shook his head and shrugged at the same time. “But I think it odd that you seem to be all right with having women as friends, but your wife is not afforded the same.”

“She can have all of the women friends she wishes.”

“You know what I mean.”

Thorin stared at him. “Miss Whitbow and I are friends and have been since we were much younger, and Jasna knows this. Miss Whitbow is also very nearly betrothed to my nephew. Unless things have changed, you are still unattached, are you not?”

“I am, yes.”

“So, again, I’ll ask you—what is your interest any my wife?”

“That of a friend alone, Thorin.”

“Good. You would be wise to keep it at that.”

“So I gathered,” Bard replied dryly. Then, he gestured on down the road. “Might we continue?”

Thorin bobbed his head, but as Bard moved on ahead of him, he continued to glare at the bowman’s back. Somehow, he didn't trust the man where Jasna was concerned. The sooner Esgaroth was rebuilt, the sooner Thorin would have no need to deal with Bard and the happier they’d probably both be.

[puppy-phum]

2022: a summary

Post your favourite or most popular edit from each month this year (it’s okay to skip months!)

tagged by krishna @i-got-the-feels ♥ thank you, thank you, thank you~

January

Popular - my tribute for the ending of bad buddy and my journey with patpran ♥ am happy ppl liked both the typography and the color scheme in this. 

Favorite - i started obsessing over lang leav’s poetry + patpran with this one. i love the blues and the middle images with the shattered yous all over. it was a pain to do but worth it.  

February

Popular - this one patpran edit that still makes rounds at times. it’s probably one of my most popular edits in general and i am very happy it is bc i adore it myself ♥

Favorite(s) - i am bad at choosing for this month so i have to mention both this bb edit bc i love the violet and the shots i chose, and this seanwhite edit bc the lang leav poem is Perfect and i think this one looks amazing. 

March

Popular - this very quickly made ptpran edit with the sun and moon quote from my country i had stuck in my head for ages. i never really thought that anyone would notice this but i guess we all were into the same symbolism?

Favorite - very very tough choice once again but i was very passionate about this danyok edit that i made while hoping praying begging that they would get a happy ending 

honorary mentions:  not me characters + problems x not me characters as seven deadly sins x

April

Popular - this seanwhite edit for the not me celebration was a pain to make bc i felt like nothing of it worked like i hoped it would but i did love the final result ♥

Favorite - watching dew the movie changed me somehow and making both the edit for that absolute piece of art of a movie was a true joy. i made those edits only for myself bc i had to get some of that feeling off my chest and the first one owns my heart. 

May

Popular - more lang leav with patpran. i adored this layout even if it, once again, was a huge pain to make 

Favorite - had a field day planning this whole edit bc i haven’t done anything with as much detail and meaning in a while. tried new things and was very satisfied with the outcome. also loved making something darker and more focused on symbolism. 

June

Popular - cheering at the fact that ppl felt as insane about the official vice versa trailer as i did! i have never felt that strongly about a starting show. vv really is just so special to me and this first edit feels so dear ♥

Favorite - of course it’s my pride month edit! i still return to this one at times, it was so much fun to make. 

July

Popular - we were all hoes for kinnporsche the series and especially vegaspete during the summer so am not at all surprised that my first (and for the longest time only) vegaspete set got a bit more popular heh

Favorite - this vv set for the trailer is my beloved bc the colors were good, the pics worked, th flowers looked good. i love the style of this one and it just makes me so emotional to even look at it. 

August

Popular - not blaming ppl for liking the fire yellow episode edit the most bc it is my favorite too (with soft blush and cloudy gray). also ep 6 is my favorite episode in vice versa so even more fitting. 

Favorite - i spent a huge amount of time researching the mbti types for this and had so much fun with it plus i loooove the pastel looks for all the pics. 

September

Popular - the cloudy gray episode edit is the one with most notes for this month which, once again, i do not blame anyone for! i personally love the b&w + pops of color look. 

Favorite - the fah + prince introduction edit i made for asianlgbtnet. i enjoyed making this one a lot even if i knew it wouldn’t get that much attention with sky in your heart never really... taking off... sadness ;;

October

Popular - the last vice versa episode edit! which always reminds me of the struggle with my laptop... noodle accident, you will forever be famous 

Favorite(s) - all of my bad buddy week entries! favorite character: pran parakul x favorite episode: episode 11 x favorite dynamic: pranwai x

November

Popular - the impromptu last twilight trailer edit i made bc that trailer really just stole my heart and soul. i still watch it occasonally just to feel something

Favorite - the lang leav + puentalay edit i finally managed to make. i planned this one for a long while and currently it’s one of my personal favorite edits of mine 

December

bc of traveling, the holidays, and me mostly just waiting for ppl to drop me prompts throughout this time, i only made two edits during december so mentioning both of them. 

vice versa x bad buddy parallels as flipped lives x 

puen babygirl x

i adore both and never expected either of them to be famous ♥

this was a cool look at all of the things i made last year. there have been quite many? i think october had the most with me finally surviving my laptop crisis and then just going wild :’D 

tagging: @oswlld @wanderlust-in-my-soul @ardentlytess @spicyvampire @liyazaki @dimpledpran @snimeat ♥ link me if you’ve already done this bc i think am kind of late...

[violetangeltears]

8H tingz

sometimes i like to relive memories for the sake of the experience to feel them again, for better or for worse. it inspires me & reminds me that i am human. the healing journey is not at all what i'd expect, but then again i never truly expected anything. healing means not being reactive. healing means you have the ability to sit outside of your feelings & observe them, not absorb them. healing can be viewed in different ways, but for me, this is what it's been like for the most part.

i lived very traumatic events in 2019. quite a few following after, but in 2019 is when i believe to have experienced my saturn return. Lord knows i was ready to take my life, as i have been ready many times in my life, even attempted it a few times w/a failed outcome, but something just hit different that time. i experienced it all in one year, you'd never believe it, truly, you'd never believe it if i told you. they are things i will take to my grave, i could not tell a soul. there aren't a whole lot of things i'll take to my grave, but there are a few things i've lived & done that are better left unsaid, forgotten & archived.

enough of the drama. my point being is that today was one of those days i chose to relive a memory, but not a bad one. i was living in a different state than my birth state. i had been DMing w/a guy for a couple of months, he lived in my birth state. we had tossed around the idea of him visiting me some time. that plan never came to flourish because life has a comical way of putting you in your lane & turns your life upside down in an instant. i ended up moving to my hometown & this guy & i ended up playing in a band together. we bonded after our first gig together & after that i really don't know how our relationship became official, but it did. oh yeah... i remember now. i've never really been the type to commit to a relationship, but i am capable of doing so. i like to take things slow, relax, enjoy the ride & build a friendship before committing. so.. i don't remember exactly how we ended up having sex one night, but we did & after that he thought i was his girl. mind you, this man (hardly a man at the time), is a scorpio, capricorn moon, capricorn rising & capricorn venus lol. the intensity was real. he spoke w/words like poetry that left you feeling as if you were floating into the abyss, questioning your existence. everything he said was always vague & meaningful at the same time. i liked that about him. his eyes represented the darkness. all dark things. it was like being closed into a casket; terrifying, yet soothing. like letting death embrace you w/mercy. do you understand? like Kim wanting a hug from Edward Scissorhands. i swear, everytime this man looked into my eyes, he poured his soul, his entire being into me. i was immediately consumed by his energetic pull. it was like being naked, but from the inside. he knew, he could see me & i felt shame. i was lying to him & he knew it, but he wanted me so bad he ignored it. reminds me of a part of a song from one of my favorite songs by the Alan Parsons Project called 'Eye in the Sky;´- "the sun in your eyes, made some of your lies worth believing." the lie was that i was not emotionally committed to him. one day he decided to say i was his girlfriend & it just took me by surprise because he never asked me & i just went w/it. that, & i was also kind of seeing someone else too. i say kind of because the closest we got to anything was one innocent kiss, but we'd hang out sometimes.

anyway, eventually scorpio built up the courage to stand up for his dignity & broke up w/me. it's true what they say, you never know what you have until you lose it. i cried over that boy like you don't even know. i felt like he had swallowed my soul & left me empty inside. we got back together a month later, but broke up again shortly, his choice. then again left me dying inside. a couple years later after that he was begging for us to get back together, but, i think it was just his soul craving depth. i think that often times we like to return to where we were hurt because we long to feel something. that, or we want to feel important to someone.

no hard feelings between him & i. i explained to him that i appreciated the experience we shared, but i would appreciate a friendship a lot more from now on & he was mature enough to agree & respect that. i look back now & i can't believe how much ache i had gone through because of one boy lol. now that i feel nothing, i find it hard to believe i did not want to exist w/out him. we're so silly, aren't we?

[atl4ntxc]

Hello! I read your obey me replaced au, and I have to say that I loved it! Even though it made me cry for about 10 minutes straight but that's fine TwT Anyway, if it's okay to ask, may we know the aftermath from the brothers and Ella? Sorry if it's too much to ask, you don't have to do it if you don't want to. But I just wanna know if Ella and/or the brothers actually got punished for what they did to MC ;w; Again, you don't have to do it if you don't want to

⭔ׅ ،ㅤ“ 𝖔𝖓 𝖙𝖍𝖊 𝖕𝖆𝖌𝖊 𝖔𝖋 𝖒𝖞 𝖑𝖆𝖘𝖙 𝖏𝖔𝖚𝖗𝖓𝖊𝖞 . ” 𓈒ㅤ𓂅 🕯️

⌕ content warning : mentions of suicide, mentions of mental/verbal abuse, talk of depression/mental health, harsh language, mammon gets drunk as a coping mechanism, breakdowns, leviathan doesn’t eat.

⌕ summary : the aftermath of mc’s suicide.

the younger brothers ver.

xiloscient ver.

Lucifer and his brothers were so ashamed for what they had done.

He (Lucifer) felt like he could've prevented Mc's suicide, if only he didn't believe Ella that easily. After Mc's funeral, he went into his office to find a fancy letter, sealed with wax.

Lucifer

hes so ashamed of himself.

lucifer couldn’t be more upset for what he has done. But, it’s no use crying over spilt milk.

would overwork himself in his office, locking himself in his room.

he would look at diavolo in the eye and say “i accept any punishment that you will give me, Lord Diavolo. i am aware of my mistakes, though i will not beg for forgiveness as this was one of the consequences of my own actions,”

you think he’s not a coffee addict? well, you will now. it was noticeable, he would drink at least 6 cups of instant coffee.

The wax also had a few small red perennials behind it, elegance visible on the letter itself. The envelope was black, and the paper used to write the letter was as white as snow.

He held the letter and sat down on his office chair, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

He carefully took the written paper out of the black envelope and began to read what it contains.

"dear lucifer,

i am sorry. i am sorry for what i will do, lucifer. i will leave my belongings in my room, so feel free to take them... or sell them, if you don't want them.

i will get straight to the point; i am losing the war. i am losing the war and conflict that has always been in my head, and i have given up fighting a long time ago. i was not meant to be a soldier, i am a weak and frail human.

i have also been suffering with my physical health, not that surprising. i have been officially diagnosed with an inherited disorder called 'Friedreich's ataxia'. i... will not live long due to this disorder, but before it will take my life away- i would rather do it myself.

so that's what i did.

at the time that you have received this letter, i am probably dead.

well, you should be aware of that... unless you didn't get the news.

please do not blame yourself for my decision. i decided this for myself, and i knew the consequences and proceeded to do it. i may have been long gone, but i am still afraid of being forgotten by the people that i care and love for.

i am well aware that this action is very stupid and foolish. but i don't seem to find the light at the end of the tunnel, and it seemed like this loop of misery will never stop, no matter how far i try to run away from my troubles.

please don't forget me. i don't want to be forgotten, even if i died.

you're someone that i care for deeply. you're someone that i could trust. i don't blame you, no not at all. ella has fooled all of you, but i cannot believe the avatars of hell could be tricked so easily.

my journey has ended. even though you did not help, i appreciate the amount of memories that we have shared throughout my life here in devildom. i will always treasure those moments, no matter what.

even after all the hurt that you have put me through, i will never forget the times we were all smiling and laughing in euphoria. thank you for letting me taste the feeling of freedom.

sincerely,

mc."

Lucifer stood still, frozen in place. Tear drops started to roll down his cheeks, landing on the white paper. He closed his eyes and shakily let out a breath, covering his forehead with his palm.

He has never felt this way ever since Lilith's death, and he would never want to relive and experience the same feeling again. The fading feeling of déjà vu, he was not happy at all.

He felt so horrible, the amount of pride and ego crushed in one single letter made him want to puke.

Still, he gently folded the letter and held it close to his chest, letting the salty tears freely roll down his cheeks. "i'm sorry."

Mammon

wasn’t he the one that was supposed to be your protector and guide? he was supposed to be your first, the only human he would protect. but fuck that

would get drunk as a coping mechanism, probably.

Stumbles into your room, only to flop onto your bed and cry himself to sleep. Eyebags would be so visible under his eyes, it was as if he didn’t slept at all!

doesn’t care about the punishment that he will get. he’s so numb to the pain of losing lilith already, plus you? there’s nothing worse.

goes back to his habits of gambling and wasting money, but this time, worse.

Mammon walked into Mc's room, his disheveled hair and blood-shot eyes noticeable. He slowly sat down on Mc's bed, looking around the room. He was silent the entire time, which was very unusual for Mammon.

He memorized each and every placement of Mc's belongings. With teary eyes, he laid on Mc's bed and buried his face into their pillow, taking in the scent of his human.

He was supposed to be the one protecting them, not the one hurting them. He exhaled sharply and took out the letter that he had kept in his pocket- a handwritten note by the human.

"hi mammon.

hope you're doing okay, as always. how have you been? hah, what a stupid question. i have so many things to say... but i don't think it can fit in one letter. starting off, i am sorry for what i have done.

please don't blame yourself for the decision that i have made. it's no use crying over spilt milk, y'know? things have been done, and i can never reverse back time. do you remember that time when we first met? you thought i was a nuisance at first... oh how wrong you were.

i do miss our talks, i do miss the time where there would only be the two of us, just smiling and laughing together. though when ella came, all of the hard work that i put into our friendship disappeared.

but now that i'm gone, you have to move on. all of the anger and sadness you feel, i know you lock it up, you keep it inside. please don't change yourself for anyone. i just want you as you are. is that too hard to ask for?

i'm not very familiar with being treated with love and affection. but you made me feel as if i was enough. thank you for that. i truly appreciate it, you will always have a place in my heart, mammon.

sincerely,

mc, your human."

He gripped your pillow and sobbed, the letter gripped tightly in his right hand— about to be torn by the force.

why did he believe her so easily?

Leviathan

locks himself in his room and games all day without any breaks. even if he does, he would have breakdowns every now and then.

probably doesn’t get out of his room AT ALL, even to eat. Beel has to give him his meals

literally ghosts everyone that messages him.

would be scared of diavolo’s punishment towards him and his brothers, but is more scared for Lucifer.

distracts himself from your death, though he never seems to get his mind off of it.

He walked into his room and locked his door, rubbing his eyes in exhaustion. Leviathan had bags under his eyes, his hair untamed.

He sat on his gaming chair and slumped back, covering his face with his dominant hand. Just as he opened his eyes, he noticed an envelope sealed with blue wax and blue baby breath along with it.

“hi leviathan...

how are you? hope you’re doing okay. i know that you’re blaming yourself for my death. i want you to know that you shouldn’t blame yourself.

if i’m being honest, you did make me feel... bad. but, it’s okay. i forgive you. even if i didn’t commit, i would eventually pass away from my illness.

do you know what’s it called? it’s called friedreich ataxia. do you remember when we played that one game with Beel and Belphie? It was really fun!

It was nice while it lasted.

i know you feel as if you are just a stupid otaku, but please trust me.. just this once. you are more than that, okay? please, don’t think that you are just a yucky otaku. i love you for you.

thank you for taking care of me.

sincerely,

your player 2, mc.”

Leviathan put the letter against his chest and wept, his cries echoing inside his room. Why? Why did he treat you like this?

You deserve the world.

fuck writer’s block. ♡

[ladyeliot]

What are you doing to me?

Request: @lostaurorax : hi! i absolutely love your writing and was wondering if i could request a tony stark smut with prompts 8 and 9 from your valentines prompt list if that’s okay with you!

Anonymous: Hi for the valentines request how about a tony x reader with a smut and dialogue no 8 and 9 with a teeny bit of angst

Pairing: Tony Stark x Fem!Reader

Summary: It was your first time in years that you were going on a Valentine's date, but things don't always go your way and the plan goes completely awry.

Warnings: Smut, Smut and Smut.

Word count: 4395

A/N: Sorry for my spelling and grammatical mistakes, English is not my native language, I am learning.

Valentine’s Day (Prompts)

How had you come to find yourself in such a situation, especially on Valentine's Day?

You had started the day with a supernatural glow on your face, it was common for your awakenings to be the most irritating, but that day it wasn't. You were finally going to be able to get out of those four walls that were corralling you, to get out of those four walls that were corralling you. You were finally going to be able to get out of those four walls that had you cornered, to go out into the world, like a normal, ordinary person, which was what you needed most at that moment. No training, no missions, no world problems, just you and your date on Valentine's Day.

It had been about three years since that day professed nothing special inside you, basically since your life took a supernatural turn, never better said, and you had to say goodbye to everyone you knew to venture into a new life with a new family. Since then, perhaps for fear of not being accepted, or because your lifestyle prevented you from doing so, you had not embarked on new romantic relationships, but that was not a problem for you, you found what you needed in other ways.

But then he came along. It all happened during a mission, working alongside a CIA operative he was on. Things happened fast enough that you didn't realise you were at an advanced point, perhaps too advanced for you. Still, you tried not to fray your nerves and get too overwhelmed, because what you liked most about him was that you didn't have to hide who you were from him, because he already knew. Surely he would have made sure that he knew every step you had taken before he worked with you.

That morning you went out to exercise first thing in the morning, the new avengers' facilities were crowded, you needed time to think calmly, so you opted to go for a run in the middle of nature. You had decided to dedicate 24 hours of that day to yourself, without alarming worries, the only worries you wanted to have in mind were what to wear and where you would end the night, the most ordinary worries possible.

You wished there was a mission that week that would have sent all your colleagues away, so you wouldn't have to put up with their joking comments about it, but apparently it was the most important event of the week.

"I'm sorry, but I'm not listening," you said, raising your voice without removing your headphones from your ears, assuming that Sam and Natasha's laughter was accompanied by some joking comment about your date that night with 'Mr. CIA', as they referred to him.

You made your way to your bedroom, eager to wash away the sweat that was soaking under a stream of cold water. Back In Black' drifted into your ears through your headphones, abstracting you from your surroundings and keeping your heart rate up, but suddenly the melody cut out to hear F.R.I.D.A.Y's voice through the headphones, breaking the moment.

"Miss Y/L/N," his volume was almost louder than your melody which made you gasp, "Mr. Stark is waiting for you in his office."

"Now?!" you complained, barely able to hear your voice because of the blockage in your ears.

You rolled your eyes and retraced your steps to Tony's office in the other wing of the building. You turned the music back on, avoiding having to listen to the comments of your colleagues as you walked back through the room, who of course had not given up on making you angry, but always with a touch of humour and love. Tony's office was with the door open, you switched off the music and could hear him having a rather ironic conversation with probably some high official of the state, lately you were being bombarded with his attacks.

"I hope I never have the pleasure again," he said pacing with one hand tucked in his trouser pocket. "Sure."

As he hung up the phone he rested both his hands on the desk, apparently he was so abstracted that he hadn't even noticed your presence.

"Are you all right?" you asked as you saw Tony's worried face, which he probably would never have allowed you to see if it wasn't for the fact that he didn't know you were there.

At your words he quickly lifted his chin and stood back up as if nothing had happened, a smile on his face offering to play down the importance of the event.

"Great, you're here," he said, slipping both hands into his pockets and rounding the desk to approach you.

"Yeah, F.R.I.D.A.Y said you wanted to talk to me," you commented taking the headphones out of your ears and stuffing them into the pockets of your sweat shorts.

"Yep," he slowly rubbed his beard thoughtfully. "I hear you've got a date tonight with..."

"Oh no, please, you too..."

"Listen," he interrupted you just as you had done before. "Tonight you're meeting with... what's his name? Oh, yes! Mr. CIA-"

"His name is Fred," you cut him off, crossing your arms as you wondered what he had on his mind. waiting for what he had in mind to tell you.

"Fred," he pointed an index finger at you, arching his eyebrows. "I've never liked that name, a bit of a ridiculous diminutive don't you think? If it comes from Frederick of course..." he began to ramble, gesturing with his hands, not giving you a clue as to what you had come for.

"Tony," you interrupted him.

"Okay, never mind," he slipped his right hand into his trouser pocket and pulled out a set of keys.  "For you."

You uncrossed your arms, confusion had flooded your mind, why was Tony offering you that set of keys? Hesitantly, you slowly took the keys between your fingers and looked at them carefully. They were all quite unique, not at all like ordinary people's keys, they were full of electronic add-ons.

"Firstly, where are they from? And secondly, why are you giving them to me?" you ask without stopping analysing them.

"They're from one of the safe houses I own in Manhattan," he informed you, pointing them out."More than a flat, a building.

That information puzzled you even more.

"I don't understand," you said frankly, looking him in the eye.

"You just told me you're going into town tonight because you have a date with Fred?" he said again.

"And what does that have to do with you giving me the keys to a safe house?" you asked without finding a clear connection in the fact.

"Building," he rectified, to which you rolled your eyes. "Listen, have dinner with him, enjoy the evening, but then if... you know, things get..."

"Whoa, whoa, whoa, okay," you said holding up your hands stopping him before he finished the words. "I got it, I got it."

"...hot take it there," he continued without paying attention to you and flashing a half smile, "don't go to Mr. CIA's house."

You nodded with a slightly uncomfortable smile for having had that conversation while collecting all the keys in your clenched fist. All you wanted to do was get out of there and take a shower to wash the cold sweat off your body.

"Thank you so much for your concern Tony," you said a little wryly walking backwards trying to tackle the door as soon as possible.

"You're welcome," he said enjoying your uncomfortable feeling. "And remember, always safe sex."

You shook your head and rolled your eyes and walked out without looking back. Putting on your helmets didn't stop those three letters from wandering through your thoughts, it had been so long since you'd had sex that you'd almost forgotten how to feel when you were possibly about to get laid again. If it had been three years since you'd joined the Avengers, exactly three years, that should be a bloody crime. But you couldn't blame yourself, you didn't even have enough confidence in yourself, how could you offer it to someone else.

The next few hours were all about you, about your self-care, gaining enough confidence to live again. That black silk dress that reached almost to the floor fell loosely over your body, leaving a plunging neckline and an open back, held up by thin straps. It had been so long since you had looked like that that you could hardly recognise yourself, you had left that time behind, but it was in your hands again. You grabbed a small handbag and after putting the finishing touches to your lipstick you left your bedroom, the longed-for walk of shame awaited you until you reached the car that was waiting to take you to the city.

"Alright, I don't want you to say anything," you informed before walking across the room, where some of your classmates were gathered, luckily some of them were preparing dinner so they weren't present.

"Wow!" exclaimed Sam, smacking Steve's chest, who just smiled and nodded at you, offering you one of his few-word approvals.

"Enjoy your evening," said Nat approaching you and giving you a little hug. "And you know what to do if you need me, one phone call and I'll break his legs."

You smiled after hearing those words whispered in your ears and headed for the exit. The car was as ready as you were to start your journey, you just got in and headed towards the big apple following the Hudson River. The lights, the big skyscrapers, the people walking through the streets, the traffic, you were definitely in New York. You looked at your watch, there were ten minutes left to meet Fred at the place he had booked and you were looking forward to, but life always has twists and turns that take us by surprise, and there was one for you.

One last last minute twist of fate had come Fred's way, informing you just as the car had pulled up outside the restaurant, completely changing your established idea of how the evening was going to go. It wasn't a feeling of anger that came over you, on the contrary, the disappointment was so strong that it was impossible for you to set off back to the avengers' compound, you would be the most embarrassed person if in less than an hour you turned up again under sympathetic glances. You had the keys inside your bag that Tony had offered you, so you would use them, and tomorrow morning you would be on your way home.

Tony's building was located in Lower Manhattan, just as he had called it, a frank building full of all the comforts and technologies, it resembled the Stark Tower but without the external façade, everything was inside. When you walked in you discovered that Tony had arranged for it to be fitted out with all the romantic necessities he thought you would need that night. The finest French champagne was on the lounge table along with a couple of glasses and a basket of your favourite chocolates.

You plopped down on the sofa with no desire to do anything, kicking off your heels, but at that moment you remembered that you had the house to yourself. You got up and grabbed the bottle of champagne along with the box of chocolates and took the lift to the rooftop. New York was really something to see from the heights and right now you had it all at your feet. You didn't know how long you sat in that armchair waiting for the hours to pass, but the bottle was half full.

"Nice view."

Your heart flipped as you heard those words behind you. Tony's figure suddenly appeared and stood beside you.

"What-what are you doing here?" you asked as you stood up, abandoning the champagne.

"The same thing I want to ask you," with his hands in his pockets he looked up at you. "Have you been crying?"

"No!" you exclaimed, crossing your arms mostly because of the cold wind that was blowing against your skin.

"Where's Fred?" asked Tony taking off his black blazer and covering you with it.

"He had...work..." you said almost in a whisper leaning against the railing to avoid looking at him. "What are you doing here?"

"F.R.I.D.A.Y told me you'd arrived," he commented as he continued to stare at you. "Alone."

You nodded biting your tongue cursing at his AI, who was informing him of every move you were making at every moment.

"Why didn't you go back to the facility?" he asked, closing the distance to you.

"Do you really need me to answer that?" you said looking at him.

"Why didn't you call me?" he stood next to you at the railing.

"Do you need me to answer that too?" you arched an eyebrow. "I wanted to be alone, well, I really want to be alone Tony."

Your companion stared at you, brought his index finger to your face to push back a strand of your hair that prevented him from fully contemplating you. Your relationship with Tony had always been complex, strangely complex. You'd known him for three years and you still didn't quite understand him, you didn't know which section of your social life to classify him in, and situations like that were the ones that still puzzled you the most. There was a time when you thought there was a deeper connection between you, your relationship with him wasn't the same as you used to have with Sam or Steve, it was different. But at no point in your lives had you decided to talk about it.

In those moments, as you had told him, you wanted to be alone, but you weren't. There was Tony beside you, looking at you, looking at your face, looking at your lips, creating a strange situation for you.

"What are you doing?" you whispered, directing your gaze to his eyes that remained fixed on your lips.

"The correct question is..." Tony's voice became deeper. "What are you doing to me?"

It was right after those words that you definitely knew what you were doing to him, when Tony furtively closed the distance to you, bringing his lips close to yours, looking for a response from you. However, that event caught you so off guard that you reacted even against your will, offering him a shove to create distance between the two of you again.

"What the hell are you doing!" you exclaimed with wide eyes, stunned, trying to analyse what had just happened.

"Kissing you?" Tony's tone of indifference, it wasn't like usual, it had a mixture of guilt in it. "Come on! We're not just friends and you fucking know it."

You were trying to connect the pieces with the sensations you were feeling at the moment, surprise and indignation mixed with sexual tension and passion, it was all very confusing. You could barely hear what Tony was saying to you at the moment, he was rambling again, but you couldn't resist him, and though you would probably hate yourself for it the next morning you silenced his words by pulling him to you, causing his jacket to slip off his shoulders and fall to the floor. It caught him off guard, but it didn't take long for him to react and bring his hands to your bare back to pull you closer to his body.

The warmth of his rough hands running over your soft skin made you shiver. Until that moment you hadn't realised the need you felt for someone to hold you in their hands, the need for Tony to hold you. His taste running over your lips, your tongue, it was just as you had dreamed, you were being completely taken in by his kisses, running down your neck softly until he reached your collarbones where he slowly slid his tongue. It was like being lost between two worlds and not finding your way out, but you really didn't want to find it.

Soft moans came from inside you, wanting to inform him of the need you were feeling at that moment for him, to have him all to yourself. It had been so long since someone had made you feel this way, you thought your body was going to explode at any moment. Gently Tony's fingers reached up to the thin strap that was held firmly over your left shoulder, letting it slowly fall down your upper arm to give him better accessibility to kiss you.

"It's been so long..." those words left your lips as if they were a plea.

"I know sweetheart," he whispered brushing his lips against your earlobe. "Come with me."

Tony's fingers intertwined with yours, guiding you into the building. You let him lead you down the steps, until finally you found yourself inside a large bedroom, returning to where you had left off, rekindling the need between you. You surrendered yourself to his caresses and kisses again, feeling alive. You tried to undo the knot of the tie that was allowing you so little of Tony's body to be seen, but his hands went faster than yours and held you back. The smile on Tony's face showed you that he intended to prolong those games, but you were thinking of going further, you needed to go further.

"Come on Tony..." you pleaded hoping he felt as needy as you did at that moment.

"Where to?" he asked, slowly caressing the silky fabric of the dress at your thighs.

"Stop teasing me," you murmured, but instantly your tone became more self-assured. "Or I'll be the one to start teasing with you."

Firmly you brought your hands to his chest to offer him a gentle push away from you, just enough distance for him to watch as you very slowly brought your hands to the straps and let them fall down the length of your arms, causing the black dress to fall to your feet. You were practically naked, except for a pair of lacy black panties, under the watchful eyes of those brown eyes that seemed consumed by what they were seeing. 

"Oh, baby. I'm gonna fuck you so hard that you forgot you ever met that asshole," you bit your lower lip, inwardly begging for him to make good on those words. Even though he had already partly done it, he had made you forget about him completely.

You approached him very slowly, it almost hurt, you brought your hands to the collar of his shirt, rubbing his neck with your index fingers, slowly unbuttoning the buttons to check the nakedness of his torso. You uncovered the reactor, which you kissed and then you got down on your knees, getting to the height of his member, which was completely erect. Tony watched your movements with pleasure, letting you express yourself freely, putting you to the test.

Having finished unbuttoning his shirt, you chose to unbutton his trousers with extreme caution, the view from Tony's height was marvellous, and you knew it, so you looked away for a moment to see how he was enjoying watching you.

"Do you like what you see?" you whispered knowing the answer as you unzipped his trousers, feeling his cock rise even more under your touch.

"Oh honey, you know, you really shouldn't tease me," his words came out along with a slight moan, which brought a proud smile to your mouth.

Without a second thought you brought your hands to the top of his boxers and with a subtle brush you pulled them down until the top of his member was presented before your eyes, completely reddened, waiting to be attended to. You closed your eyes, approaching him only to brush him with the tip of your tongue. That warmth you offered him generated a deafening noise from inside Tony's throat who kept looking at you as if his dilated pupils were going to explode at any moment, and who didn't hesitate to place his right hand on the back of your neck to encourage you to continue, but you reacted totally the opposite of what he wanted and again rose up to put yourself at the level of his face.

"You're playing with fire," Tony raised the corner of his lip mischievously, having checked how you were playing with him, "and you just got burned."

His two hands gripping your naked hips tightly was all it took to pull you to the bed and let you fall onto the white sheets. You discovered your own need in his lust-filled eyes, which watched you as he dropped his shirt to the floor and shed his trousers, leaving only his member covered by the thin fabric of his black boxers. You knew you had teased him and it came at a price, a price you were willing to pay at any time, in fact you were willing to pay it.

His body pushed you back against the mattress, you let out a small moan as you discovered that his hands were slowly undoing the only question you had left on your body, your panties, which were slowly sliding down your thighs.

"Tell me how much you need me," his rough voice against your right nipple made you close your eyes and open your needy mouth.

"I need to feel you." You requested as best you could.

"Say please." Tony commanded dropping his lips to your left breast.

"Please..." you begged watching his every action.

"Are you gonna be good for me?" Tony's mouth found itself sliding between your hips, trailing his tongue back and forth.

"I... "you paused for air. "I promise I'll be good."

"Good..." his face disappeared from your sight, moving deeper between your thighs. "Now I want you to forget everyone but me."

As if you were in seventh fucking heaven his warm breath collided with your warmth. Just as you had done a few minutes ago, Tony slid his tongue along every millimetre of your folds, taking pride in the sound it made you externalise. You barely remembered what it felt like, what the deafening pleasure felt like, making your skin burn, your insides scream with pleasure, your need present in every part of your skin, and you weren't afraid to externalise everything you felt. Tony felt himself reveling in the taste of you, punishing you for teasing him earlier, leaving you half-hearted every time you felt you were about to explode.

It was inevitable for you to start moaning his name, wanting him to make use of his hands, to let you cum with pleasure.

"I want your fingers inside me." You commanded, not caring that you sounded so needy, tangling your fingers in Tony's hair.

But recreating the same action you had done to him, he pulled his lips away from your clit to look at you with extreme excitement in his pupils.

"Tony, I need to feel you." You reminded him as he watched you while barely making physical contact with you. "I need you so bad..."

"I know honey," he whispered approaching your face and running his tongue over your lips. "I'm not done with you yet."

When he steps back he offers you the confirmation you needed, his boxers begin to slide down his legs, releasing his full erection, knowing that this was all you needed inside you at the moment. His body reaches up to grab a condom from the drawer in the coffee table, but at no time does he look away from you, tempting you with a slide of your tongue across his lips, causing you to be quicker than he is and steal the condom from his hands. As he does, you reach down and before you put it on, you place a soft kiss on the tip of his cock.

Tony doesn't hesitate to grab your hips and pull you back to the position he needed you to be, between the mattress and his body. After trapping your lips between his he uttered words you could never forget, and which caused your clit to spasm slightly, "I'm gonna fuck you until you beg me to stop." You clenched your jaw and let him thrust inside you with a slowness that you found insufferable, but which caused your moans for the first time to blend together as one in the air.

Your hands prevented his body from separating from yours, drawing him into you. Your control points were completely gone, you had been waiting so long to destroy the barriers that prevented you from having pleasure that at that moment all your senses were fully expanded, every cell in your body wanted to explode with pleasure, and Tony was getting it so easily.

"I'm so close..." you uttered between moans, making Tony's speed start to increase.

"Come for me, honey." He whispered against your lips, pressing into a tight kiss.

His words were a command to your body, who decided the moment had come, exploding, letting your lust take you over completely. You moaned the name "Tony" as you allowed your sensations to invade every part of you, closing around Tony, who relished every sound and movement you made, and who couldn't resist hearing you utter his name, causing his hips to pick up even more speed, cumming right after you.

The cumulus of sensations and feeling was mutual, causing your bodies to fall into each other after everything that had just happened that night in that building on Manhattan Island. It took you a few minutes to react, catching your breath again and realising what had just happened between the two of you.

Taglist Open (DM)

MAIN MASTERLIST

[an-exotic-writer]

jungkook; ready to love (you, officially)

❝you asked: “what happens when i want to be more than friends?” / jungkook said, when that day comes, you grab him by the face and kiss the life out of him. that day came. ►2440 words // scenario, continuation of ‘when you’re ready to love’ written for @astaegmatism​ ♡ well, i read this the other day and ya know, i just felt like writing a sequel to this so here it goes *finger guns* // i actually finished it lol, here it is if anyone wants to read! ;w;

Ever since that day at the rooftop with Jungkook, not a day goes by since that you haven’t thought about that incident. It replays at random moments without you knowing. Well, maybe subconsciously you’re constantly thinking about it but that’s not fair. How are you supposed to control something you’re not meant to?

Maybe you deserve it, you think to yourself. Jungkook has made it clear that he’s interested in you and it’s not like you’re not interested in him. You are! Saying that you’re interested in him would be an understatement and yet... it’s been three months and you haven’t made up your mind.

What confuses you even more?

It’s how Jungkook doesn’t pressure you into anything. Sure, he teases you every now and then but you know he’s not genuinely pressing or rushing you for an answer or a change of heart. He’s... gentle, with the way he handles the conversation when you bring it up (because it gets overwhelming when you think about it at night and Jungkook-)

“...you’ve gone pretty quiet, Y/N,” Jungkook muses over the phone and you now remember that you were on a phone call with the guy. There’s no point hiding it, because Jungkook can tell how you’re feeling (sometimes) just by hearing your breathing pattern. How it starts to tremble with each exhale, unknowingly Jungkook has learnt it meant you were anxious about something.

“Y-Yeah, I’m just... thinking,” Your voice is shaking and you’re certain your hands would be too if you were holding your phone to your ear but luckily, you’re lying on the bed and your phone is on speaker beside your ear. Almost, you feel like it would be nice if he was laying here with you. And just at that thought, it makes you wonder if... if you’re finally ready to be more than just friends with the boy who upon first meeting, squished a portion of cake to your cheeks as a friendly way of trying to call you sweet. (don’t remind Jungkook, he still feels bad at almost traumatizing you when you first met)

“About?”

Here comes one of the many things Jungkook adores about you. Straight to the point, no sugar-coating and no bush in sight to beat around. Well, it’s usually polar opposites. Either you would beat the bush to death and the generations after that, or you go straight to the point and snap the leaf to write your answer directly.

“...you,”

This was the latter.

"What about me?” Jungkook tries to sound collected, but based on how his voice pitches, you can tell he’s getting nervous.

“I... I’m just confused. I know I really like you,”—Jungkook’s heart skip a beat—“but a part of me still feels like I’m not ready and I feel bad because I don’t want you to keep wait-”

"You’re not keeping me waiting, Y/N,” Jungkook cuts you off before you spiral off into a monologue that doesn’t need to happen, which is why he’s cutting you off now. (He usually waits to hear you out but he’s skipping past that because he’s heard this before so he might as well reassure you now)

He hears a gasp because you’re surprised, and he knows you are but you keep silent to hear his train of thought.

“I’m simply in love with you and... I can feel that you feel the same way too. If the day comes when you’re ready to reciprocate that openly, I’m more than willing to be with you. It’s not like things would change between us, we’re just going to get mushier—is mushier a word? Ah, whatever,”

There’s a small pause of silence, it evokes Jungkook to ask: “You there?”

“...how is that not waiting for me, Jeon?”

He chuckles at the confusion in your voice. He has this image of you furrowing your brows and having puffed up cheeks from being confused.

Here you lie in bed, with furrowed brows and puffed cheeks.

“Because I know I’m already in your heart, it’s just going to take some time before you get comfortable with me being there, and hopefully accept that… or not, that’s all up to you,”

“How do you know you’re in my heart?”

“Do you really want me to answer that?”

“N-Nope, ’m good.”

Jungkook didn’t know if he helped you or not that night, but based on how you didn’t say anything to combat that, he finds comfort in knowing at least he’s somewhat right.

You slept with ease that night.

//

The days after that have been... more confusing than you thought. It confused you so much that the more you thought about it, the more it pissed you off. What the fuck is going on?

Trudging out of bed, you find yourself standing in front of your reflection. Next to it is a photo of you and Jungkook, not even aware that a friend was capturing a moment the two of you shared. The longer you stared at it, the more it reminded you of why you were mad in the first place.

Mad at… yourself!

With a newfound confidence that struck out of nowhere, it was time.

Fucking hell was it time.

You can’t handle it any longer and you’re done trying to make up your mind or settle for an answer that leaves you wavering the next day.

It was time to observe.

To be Detective Conan—alright screw Jungkook’s references.

//

You spent a week keeping your distance from Jungkook.

Okay, that sounds serious but by keeping your distance, it was rather… taking note of how your mind reacted around him. Of course, it was easier said than done when the boy is constantly trying to be close to you, pick at your brain, “casually” hold your bag for you and running off so you’d chase him up to the rooftop where you’d conveniently waste two hours of staring at the abyss of the world alongside him.

Boy oh boy did you take mental notes, and when you typed them out for yourself to read through at the end of the week, it was clear that—“That piece of shit…”

For two weeks, you had wrote down thoughts you’ve had of him and let’s just say… they accumulated to more than your notepad on your phone could handle because you’re scrolling, and scrolling and scrolling. As you go through them, the recollection flashes in your mind, playing like a projector.

Jeon likes to drink Americano from this café.

He bought the bouquet of flowers for graduation from this florist.

We got caught in the rain and was stuck in that phonebooth for an hour because we’re both too stubborn to get out.

Jeon’s fave café.

Jeon’s fave park to go jogging.

Jeon—

The list continues, listing all the details about him and more details about him that… strangely enough, you’ve never noticed you remembered. And… the more you seem to remember, the more… memories you want to create with him. It hits you why it’s… it’s taken you this long to realise your infatuation with him. Jungkook was that slow burn that made you love him more and more each day without you realizing. How you wanted to see him each day, and when a day goes by without seeing him, it aches for you to be without him.

Jungkook was right when he said he was already in your heart.

You didn’t know when, and you didn’t know how but… he was already there. He made his way through when you didn’t expect him to. He’s been patient and sincere with his presence and… the way he genuinely just wants what’s best for you. He… you… you like him.

You… fell in love with your best friend, too.

//

Jungkook smiles when he sees your name on his caller ID. He grips onto his phone properly to swipe across the screen, just to say: “What do I owe the pleasure, Y/N?”

“Jeon, wherever you are,” It sounds like you’re breathing really heavily, “Don’t move,”

His brows furrow, “Is everything alright? You good?”

“I’ll come to you!” You exclaim, and he’s laughing. “Do you know where I am?”

He snorts.

“Oh yeah,” Now it sounds like you’ve stopped walking when the soles of your shoes screech on the pavement ever so lightly, “Where are you by the way?”

//

“Jeon!” Your voice echoes across the field, penetrating straight into his ears as he whips around, only to grin like a fool. His eyes form mini crescents at the sight of you running up to him. He holds his arms out to stable you when you’re within reach. His hands grip onto your sides with a soft easy there tiger and when you’re grounded in front of him, trying to catch your breath, his smile only grows bigger.

“What’s up?”

Your fists clench by your sides, feeling your insides tumble about. Thousands of butterflies are probably somersaulting in there and the whole zoo has come to watch how your nerves jolt about in anticipation to what you’re about to do. You’ve had only this thought in your mind through your whole journey to reach him. Now that you’re finally in front of him, you’re trying to psyche yourself up.

Almost as if you’re trying to be your own hype man to… to…

“Hello? Earth to Miss—”

“I’m going to do something to you, Jeon,” You swallow the lump in your throat, and this is where Jungkook’s smile slowly fades. His face morphs into one of confusion instead.

“G-Good or bad?”

Okay, this is throwing you off a little.

“What’d you mean?”

“Well… what you’re going to do to me, is it good or bad? Do I need to cover up somewhere it really hurts?”

The both of you trail down to… his nether region where his hands slowly move to cover it (because there has been a history of you kicking him with not-so-ladylike strength that one time he took a prank too far and he owns up to say he deserves it—not that he’s done anything this time, he’s just being cautious).

“What? N-No!” You’re frustrated at this point, running your fingers through your hair in annoyance, but you know what? It’s working. Your nerves are worked up enough for you to gather the courage brewing in your guts that you close the distance between the pair of you.

Suddenly, it feels like the world slows down.

Your hands rest upon his shoulders and instinctively, Jungkook’s hands dart out to steady you by your waist, afraid you’d topple over and get hurt. His eyes widen when you lean in to press your lips together. Your name is muttered against your lips, drowned out by the gasp that follows soon after from him.

His hands, clutches onto you tight—as tight as your hands are on his shoulders. Jungkook’s eyes flutter shut, in unison with yours. Your body tenses when you don’t feel a reaction, and that gets you to peel your eyes open and break away from the kiss. That triggers him to act upon his feelings for once, after holding back for the longest time, this is the one-time Jungkook allows himself to do what he wants.

He snakes his arms around your waist to pull you closer, making your breath hitch. He chases for your lips and he kisses you back. He kisses you with everything he has in fear this could be the first, and last time it would happen. He feels his heart burst into warmth when your hands move to circle around his neck to pull him close, as if the both of you weren’t already. You feel his tongue brush against yours ever-so-delicately and the vibrations of his lips when your fingers rake through his hair.

He intends to continue, but you have yet to say what you’ve been wanting to that you gently nudge him back with a hand on his chest, the other still hooked around his shoulders.

“J-Jeon, I have something to say,” You’re a little breathless, disorganized, but altogether too beautiful for him to handle with your slightly red, plump lips and hazy eyes looking into his own. He chuckles and cups your chin gently, brushing your lower lip with his thumb as his other hand keeps you rooted.

“Yeah?”

“I… I like you,”

Jungkook chuckles, softly, almost whispering as he breathes out: “I like you too,”

He licks his lips and his eyes trail down to yours, before gazing back up to your eyes when he has a feeling there’s more you’re about to say. His thumb gently rubs circles against your hip bone, while his other hand that was previously on your chin, moves to join his other arm around your waist.

“And…” You heave out a deep breath, blinking up to him, “I-I want to be more than just friends,”

Jungkook knows where this is going, but that doesn’t mean he’s not going to have fun.

“So… best friends?”

Instantly your face turns upside down with frustration and Jungkook quickly pacifies you with a kiss. And a couple more pecks to bring a smile to your face, mirroring his own smile before he tugs you into his arms. His arms band around you so tight, it feels like he’s afraid you’ll slip away. He presses a small kiss to your temple, whispering, “You have no idea how much I’ve wanted to hear that,”

You’re grinning against his chest, arms wrapping around him just as tight.

“So… we’re…”

He strokes your head gently, closing his eyes to savor this moment.

“We’re still best friends,” He says, “Best friends who like each other a lot but this time,” You lean back a little, just to look up to him looking down on you,

“T-This time?” Your voice is soft, so soft that it’s only for his ears only. That alone, makes Jungkook’s heart do a lot of things in a heartbeat.

“This time, from this day onwards, you’re also my girlfriend.”

((“jeon…?”

“hm?” he turns his gaze from the sky the both of you have been laying under, gazing into your eyes as he plays with your hair.

“’m sorry it took me so long,”

he tuts with the shaking of his head, darting over to give you a long kiss to your lips.

“don’t be, don’t ever say that. it’s my fault for falling so quickly for you,” he wiggles his brows and you try to push him away, only for him to reel you in closer.))

[ye4gerismarchives]

the bachelorette: the wedding

an: h-hey guys😅 a whole month w/o rhe bachelorette. y’all prolly forgot about it. fortunately, i haven’t😭 sorry yall, i’ve been up all night for the past month reading about nasty white men instead of writing for the bachelorette. this chapter has 4768 words, so i guess that’s a plus.

tags: black, fem reader. i don’t have any triggers off my head, if something does trigger you, do let me know

taglist: @taybird

5:00 am

You had plans to send Levi to his grave. How dare he wake you up at like four in the morning only to start your makeup and hair an hour later? The makeup and hair team were completely respectful towards you and respected your space, considering today was going to be full of emotions.

As your face was getting beat, there was a knock at the door. The makeup artist working on your face stopped so that you could address the person at the door. "If your name is Levi, don't bother coming in," you say. The door opens and your heart jumps because

Her Royal Highness Princess Historia and her girlfriend, Ymir, were in YOUR room.

"Oh sh*t, Your Royal Highness," you let out. Members of your team start to curtsy and bow to Historia. Ymir stands awkwardly behind her. She must have been getting used to the royal bs around her.

You stand to curtsy as well but Historia raises a hand to stop you. "Today is all about you. Ymir and I are going to be your bridesmaids today! Levi called us and we decided we would support you today!" she says cheerfully.

So, Levi probably wasn't going to die today. Now, you couldn't bring yourself to be mad at him but you still side eyes him. He was a powerful guy- you were still under the impression that he said something to Mikasa during the show and caused her unusual behavior.

"O-Oh?"

"Yeah! Ymir and I will get changed but we'll see you in your dress."

And with that, the princess and her girl left your room. It was like a dream.

5:30 am

Weeks before the wedding came, you went dress shopping. However, it didn't go how you wanted it to go. Ideally, you would be dress shopping with Sasha, Mikasa, and Connie. There was no way in hell you would call Sasha and ask her to go with you. You called Connie, who refused to pick up. You thought about calling Mikasa but you felt uneasy about it. So, Levi and his husband, Erwin, went with you.

Erwin was a complete angel. He asked you respectful questions about your life and even made you laugh. Spending time with Erwin made you realized how...dark Levi was and even made you question why they were even together. But your thoughts couldn't stop you from seeing how Levi melted under Erwin's touch. They loved each other. You hoped that You and Jean would be like that.

With their help, you managed to pick the perfect dress.

Slipping it on for the second time was just as magical as it was the first. Your team awed and cooed over how beautiful you looked. Historia and Ymir entered in matching pink outfits and immediately started fawning over how good you looked.

You felt your face redden up and you couldn't help but smile. But all of that went away when a familiar face entered.

"You...you look good, y/n."

"Mikasa...what are you doing here?"

Mikasa was standing in front of you in the same pink color that Ymir and Historia were in but her outfit was a sleeveless wide-legged jumpsuit. Her bangs were brushed away from her face and the rest of her hair sat behind her ears- well, mostly.

"Levi called me. He apologized for everything and told me to come over to apologize to you too. And then he forced me to be your maid of honor," Mikasa explained.

Levi forcing her to come over sounded like him but apologizing? He must have realized he went too far, especially since Mikasa was his niece. Levi was too caught up in creating and entertaining drama that he probably forgot Mikasa's relation to him.

So, you decided to let everything go.

You walk towards Mikasa with arms open and she's shocked but she doesn't hesitate to envelop you in her arms are well.

"I'm so sorry, y/n. I know was so out of line. I'll never let any man get in the way of our friendship again," Mikasa said as she squeezed you harder.

"Same here. If things don't work out with Jean, I'll marry you instead," you joke. You can feel Mikasa's laughter vibrate against your neck. She pulls away first and you proceed to ask another question. "Have you been in touch with Sasha?"

Mikasa purses her lips and shakes her head. "She's been radio silent. I can't tell if she got more backlash than me. She's off social media and just unwilling to speak with anyone. The hate probably got to her and she's just hiding for now."

You weren't too surprised. Mikasa was doing a job- a terrible one- but Sasha went out of her way to sleep with one of your guys...but she was drunk. You could imagine Sasha being the most discussed and debated online. Without speaking to her, you wouldn't know what was really going on in her mind.

"Oh! You never said hi to Princess Historia or Ymir. They're my bridesmaids for the day," you point out. The color leaves Mikasa's face when she realizes who's in the room with her. "Sh*t. Your Royal Highness," Mikasa curtsies. Historia lets out one of her signature giggles and begins to introduce herself and Ymir to Mikasa. As that goes on, your team starts helping you with your dress again.

You were slightly glad Mikasa was by your side today. The situation between the both of you was awkward but you were willing to give her another chance.

7:30 am

In the last two hours, you've done photoshoots and chat with everyone around you. Now it was time for Jean to be yours and for you to be his. You did question the early wedding time that Levi gave you but this would probably be the last time you saw that man so let's just let him do what he wants.

You were visibly nervous. You were gripping onto Mikasa's hand like it would be your last time doing so. "Hey, just remember, he's not your real husband. At least for now. This is all show," Mikasa reminds you. She was right. Jean may have been romantic with you but also he got his hour of fame, he could possibly leave you. Maybe he would get married to Connie.

You started to take a few deep breaths as you pulled up in front of the venue. Levi had rented a beach (not the one you and Connie were on) for your wedding.

From what you could see in the car, there were multiple seats and people were filling them up. You hoped that Connie's family had no ill-feeling toward you and decided to show up. It would be a shame since you were caught on television talking about how you would love for them to be there.

Your car came to a slow end. "y/n, do not worry. Remember, THIS is all fake. Only you decide if it's real," Mikasa reminds you. Levi opens your door and offers his hand to you. "It's go time." Mikasa helped you with your veil making sure that it wouldn't hit the ground.

"y/n, I know I may have been a menace but I'm happy for you. You might have had the most popular season yet," he says. Him bringing up ratings was no shock to you. You don't reply and Levi have his moment.

You like to think that Jean would like to spend the rest of his life with you. You knew that wasn't the case with many Bachelorettes and Bachelors but you look at Levi and Erwin...ah well, that wasn't a good example, considering that Erwin wasn't a contestant. He was the previous host. 'CALM DOWN,' you tell yourself, 'YOU AND JEAN WILL BE GOOD. AND IF HE DOESN'T LIKE YOU, ITS WHATEVER BECAUSE I'M THE BEST THING EVER.'

Minutes later, you're at the end of the aisle. Jean has his back turned and he's pacing back and forth slightly. Next to him is Connie. You know this because you recognize his big egg head. You're happy he put everything aside to support the both of you.

Mikasa takes her place in front of you and the music starts. Levi offers you his arm and you take it.

This was really happening.

You looked into the audience with a smile on your face but everything was moving so fast, you couldn't recognize their faces.

Before you knew it, you were by Jean. He still couldn't look at you- not until Levi gave you away. The marriage officiant clears his throat and begins to talk.

"We are gathered here today to witness the union of Jean and y/n. Welcome friends and family! We're glad to have you with us.

Today is the beginning of a remarkable journey for this couple. Drawing on their mutual admiration, respect, and trust, they are ready to embark on the next chapter in their lives. We celebrate the love and light evident in their relationship and wish them well on this joyous occasion.

Who gives this woman away?"

"I do," Levi answers. He takes Jean's hand and places it on top of yours. Jean then moves his under yours so that he could hold it. He looks down at Levi and mouths 'Thank you'. The shorter male nods and takes a seat.

The officiant gives you and Jean a moment to face each other. Jean had the biggest smile on his face when his eyes landed on you. "You look gorgeous," he whispers. "You're not so bad yourself," you reply.

The officiant continues. "If anyone has cause to object to the forming of this union, speak now or forever hold your peace." You look over Jean's shoulder to see Connie. You couldn't see his whole face, thanks to Jean's height, but you could see his eyes. They were narrowed and looking straight at you.

You wanted to feel bad, but you couldn't. YOU decided that Connie would not be your spouse, and that was final.

No one responded to the officiant's request, so he continued.

"Marriage is an integral part of the human tradition. Let us remember, as we stand here before the Universe, that the vows taken today hold great importance, just as they did to our ancestors. As individuals, we choose to enter the union of marriage to share all aspects of ourselves with our soulmate. Today, this is true for Jean and y/n."

Soulmate. You hoped that was true for you and Jean. You did meet him on a tv show.

"There are few greater joys in life than finding someone with whom we truly "click." In that spirit, I will now share a short reading on soulmates from author Richard Bach:

"A soulmate is someone who has locks that fit our keys, and keys to fit our locks. When we feel safe enough to open the locks, our truest selves step out and we can be completely and honestly who we are; we can be loved for who we are and not for who we're pretending to be. Each unveils the best part of the other. No matter what else goes wrong around us, with that one person we're safe in our own paradise. Our soulmate is someone who shares our deepest longings, our sense of direction. When we're two balloons, and together our direction is up, chances are we've found the right person. Our soulmate is the one who makes life come to life."

Under the eyes of Ymir, together we take a moment to acknowledge the seriousness of the commitment being entered into today. With great joy, we also recognize the special bond shared by Jean and y/n.."

This...this was a special bond indeed. Not only that, it was completely random. The next part of the wedding was your vows. The next part of solidifying your relationship.

"I will now invite the couple to share their vows. Jean and y/n, the promises you make today are sacred; they are the groundwork from which your marriage will grow and blossom over time.

Jean, would you like to begin first?"

Jean nods and squeezes your hands. "y/n, hopefully by the end of this ceremony, you will be my wife. I know there's a lot that you're worried about but I'll do everything to make you happy. I'll always protect you and keep you satisfied."

"y/n, your turn."

"Jean. I'm not too sure what to say...you've out-speeched me," you joke. Jean chuckled. "But...I too promise to love and protect you. I'll also make sure we're on the same page because that's very important for our relationship. I'm willing to fight for us."

You look at the officiant, letting him know that you were done.

"Let us proceed. Jean, before your family and friends, do you take y/n as your beloved Wife, to have and to hold, through laughter and in sadness, through challenges and successes, so long as you both shall live?"

Jean is silent for a moment. He's rubbing the back of your right hand and staring straight into your eyes- almost as if he was reevaluating everything. This made you nervous. Jean was a smart guy. You know you couldn't hold him down and force him to do anything he didn't want.

"I...I do," he finally answers. The weight on your chest dissolves.

"y/n, before your family and friends, do you take Jean as your beloved Husband, to have and to hold, through laughter and in sadness, through challenges and successes, so long as you both shall live?"

"Yes, I do," you answer quickly. You hear small laughs coming from the audience.

The officiant gives you a small smile before continuing. "Wedding rings are a traditional symbol of the strength of the bond between two soulmates."  Connie comes from behind Jean with the wedding bands and gave you both one.

"This bond is never broken, and continues in a perpetual circle, glowing with the warmth and eternal light of two souls in a perfect union. By wearing these rings, you will be always reminded of the connection you share and the vows you have made today. Jean, please, repeat after me;

I, Jean..."

"I, Jean..."

"present you, y/n, with this ring..."

"present you, y/n, with this ring..."

"as a symbol of our everlasting love."

"as a symbol of our everlasting love."

"Let it never lose its luster..."

"Let it never lose its luster..."

"just as my love for you will never fade."

"just as my love for you will never fade."

Jean, still gently holding your hand, slips the ring on (whatever finger your culture uses for weddings!). He can't help but admire it for a moment. He looks back up at you with the biggest grin. All you had to do was place the ring on his finger and your marriage would be "official".

"y/n, repeat after me. I, y/n..."

"I, y/n..."

"present you, Jean, with this ring..."

"present you, Jean, with this ring..."

"as a symbol of our everlasting love..."

"as a symbol of our everlasting love..."

"let it never lose its luster..."

"let it never lose its luster..."

"just as my love for you will never fade."

"just as my love for you will never fade."

You slip the ring onto Jean's left finger.

"By the power vested in me by the Ymir Life Church and Paradis, under the eyes of the Ymir, I happily pronounce you Husband and Wife! Jean, kiss your bride."

At that moment, everyone disappeared. It was just you and Jean. Jean places a hand on your waist and pulls you in. You find your hands riding up his chest and resting on his shoulder as you get closer. You and Jean connect and all of sudden, you're not in that bubble anymore.

"Ladies and gentlemen, for the first time, I give you Mr. Kirstein and Mrs. l/n!!."

You and Jean left together as "spouses". The first thing you did was official wedding photoshoots that were to be spread all over Paradis and all over the world- thanks to social media. Y'all kinda look like Meghan and Harry tbh.

Anyway.

You both got an opportunity to change in your reception outfits. After that, it was another car ride to the reception venue. Jean held your hand and couldn't stop talking about how beautiful you looked. You were so flustered, you couldn't get a response out. When you reached the venue, the driver helped out first and Jean slipped out of the car after you. He took your hand and entered the reception venue with you.

When you entered the dining hall, you were welcomed by cheers and claps. It was extremely overwhelming- not in a bad sense, however. You looked around the room and caught some familiar faces. You saw Bertholdt and Reiner sitting at a table with another unfamiliar girl. Across the room, Mikasa is seated with Connie, Historia, and Ymir. Everyone else is family that Levi most likely reached out to.

You and Jean take a seat and the cheering calms down. You lean on Jean's shoulder and sigh. The day wasn't over yet, but you were already so tired. Jean places his head on top of yours. "I can't wait to just be with you. I don't know what you had planned tonight but to be honest, I just want to sleep. I haven't realized how tired I was until now," Jean says quietly. "I have to agree. Let's just take a shower, cuddle and just pass out."

Jean brings his head up and smirks at you. "A shower? Together?" You only roll your eyes jokingly. "Oh, look, I think Levi is gonna call us up to have our first dance." "Don't worry, I'll get my answer sooner or later, y/n. You can't run from me." Jean pokes your arm teasingly, which causes you to squirm a little bit. Levi calls you up and Jeans takes your hand to lead you to the dance floor.

(Song of your choice) starts playing and you're not even sure where to start. Jean has a hand on your waist and is holding your free hand. You have a hand on his shoulders. "I'm not even sure where to start, we never practiced," you whisper. Jean smiles softly. "Don't worry about it. We're in this together aren't we?" He begins to move, taking full control. You stumble a bit but your reception dress hides your clumsiness. After a bit, you weren't stumbling anymore. You rest your head on Jean's shoulder and he pulls you even closer. Your movements get even slower. The music slowly disappeared and so did everyone else. It was just you and Jean.

When the music actually came to an end, you pulled away slowly. "You did great," Jean says softly. "So did you." You both go back to your seats. Waiters started to come out and take everyone's orders for dinners and started to pour drinks- meaning a toast would be coming up.

Mikasa comes up to the dance floor and awkwardly clanks her glass, trying to get everyone's attention. Everyone turned their heads and it wasn't because of the awkward clanking of the glass. There were some 'What the hell is she doing here?'s and 'Eren's b*tch?'s. You could visibly see Mikasa's nervousness so you attempted to lock eyes with her. It took her a while but she could finally look you in the eye. Mikasa clears her throat. "Um, hi. You're probably wondering why I'm here but today is not about me. It's about y/n and Jean. I was once y/n's closets friends until I was pressured to do something that I wouldn't normally do." Mikasa gives Levi a side-eye. The shrimp man crosses his arms and rolls his eyes.

"y/n is absolutely amazing...I can't really put it into words but there's something about her that just make people want to be around her. I can see why Jean fought so hard to be with her."

Jean squeezes your hand when she makes that comment.

"I often think to myself about how y/n could have easily met Jean at a café or a movie theatre or something rather than on TV show. But at the same time, this was good for her...and all of us. Here we discovered the lengths of our friendship and who we really were as people. I believe these ups and downs helped y/n find Jean- her true love. Honestly, I wish you both a happy future. Make it worth it."

Mikasa raises her glass and everyone clinks their glass with their neighbors. Connie begins to walk up to the dance floor as soon as Mikasa leaves.

"I'm going to be really honest with you. This is was unexpected. I honestly thought that today was going to be about me." Connie raises his eyebrows at Jean, who furrows them.

"But I guess it's a good thing I didn't marry y/n. I wouldn't have been enough to handle. So, congrats to you, Jean. You're tolerable."

Connie gets off the dance floor without giving you or Jean a look. You look at Jean and he's hurt. "H-hey...maybe he's drunk or something. In his feelings, you know? Don't let him make you feel bad," you say. Jean gives you a small smile before sipping down his drink.

Moments later, it was time for parent dances. Jean got up to dance with his mom. It was a little bit uncoordinated than yours but they looked like they were having a lot of fun.

Next was the bouquet and garter toss. You started with the garter first. You sat in a chair with your legs cross. You knew this was going to happen but it wasn't rehearsed. Jean could see your uneasiness, so he started doing a silly sensual dance. It made you laugh and your laughter got louder once he started shimming down to the floor. He got closer to your thigh and you felt your face heating up. You slapped your hand over your mouth once he starting biting the garter and pulling it off. As he continued, you cupped your face. When Jean was finally day, cheers erupted and you uncovered your hot face. Jean closes his eyes and throws the garter into the crowd and it lands in the hands of Reiner. The guys cheer even louder for him as he awkwardly glances over at Bertholdt, who is a few people away from him.

Next was the bouquet throwing. You closed your eyes and the guest counted you off. Once you heard the number three, you threw the bouquet. You open your eyes and turn around to see that Bertholdt had gotten the flowers. His face is so red...he look like a tomato.

After your guest settled down, it was time to cut your cake, meaning that your wedding day was almost over. You picked a (cake of your choice) for tonight. "It looks delicious. I can't wait to try it," Jean whispers in your ear. "It is. You'll love it," you respond. You pick up a knife. Jean wraps his hands around yours. You both gently place the knife on the cake and pushed it down. You lean back to give Jean a kiss and he gives you one. Jean grabs two forks by the cake and hands one over to you.

Jean scoops a piece of the cake first. He places a hand on your chin and you open your mouth. "Ladies first," he says as he places the cake in your mouth. You take a minute to savor the taste before swallowing. You also take a piece of the cake and get on your toes to feed Jean. He chuckles softly at your struggle before taking the fork from you and feeding himself. "You're right, it's good," he says after swallowing. He bends down slightly to give you another kiss.

The night was slowly coming to an end. There was no sight of Connie after his stupid speech and Levi and Erwin were getting ready to get home. Historia and Ymir had left right after the cake cutting ceremony but had promised to call you once everything had settled down. You and Jean formally greeted your guest and started your goodbyes.

Mikasa had gone up to you with a slightly awkward face. "Today wasn't so bad, huh?" she starts. You give her a kind smile. "It wasn't. Did you enjoy yourself?" Mikasa pauses to answer. "Your wedding was beautiful...however, I can't get upset over the reaction about me being here. y/n, I have to apologize again. What I did was completely wrong. I shouldn't even be blaming Levi for everything. I could have told you at first and-"

You pull Mikasa into a hug to shut her up. "Mikasa, move on. Come on, we're adults! At least you're apologizing and trying- unlike someone we know," you joke. You pull away. "Hopefully, if Jean and I have a real wedding, it won't be as awkward for you." Mikasa nods. "I'll see you around. Congrats." As Mikasa walks off, Reiner, Bert, and this mystery blonde come up to you. Inside Reiner's pocket is your garter sticking out and Bertholdt is clenching your bouquet.

"Hey," you start," Thank you for coming. Who's your friend?"

Bertholdt looks over at the blonde. "Thank you for inviting us...um...this is Annie. My dad thought you were her."

Now, why did Bertie's dad think you was this yt girl?😟

LMAO. "Nice to keep you, Annie. You Bertie's girl?" you ask.

Annie shakes her head no frantically. "OH, NO. Never in a million years, no. Yuck!" she answers dramatically. Reiner throws an arm over Bert's shoulder. "He's actually my boy now," he says proudly. "OH-! Congrats! So we're having a wedding for you soon, yes?" You tease. Reiner nods and Bertie tries to hide his face in Reiner's hair. "When did this all happen...? I just eliminated you like...two weeks ago?"

"Well...Reiner and I were still in contact and when I left, he reached out to me. We met up a few times and we hit it off," Bertie explains. "Congrats. I'm really happy to hear that," you answer. You turn around to look for Jean. He's talking to his mom. He gives you a small glance before continuing his conversation with her. "I better go catch up with Jean. It was nice to see you...and finally meeting you, Annie." The trio say their goodbyes before leaving.

You make your way over to Jean but you're stopped by the human fit of annoyance- Levi. You were so tired of him but you threw on a smile since Erwin was walking over as well. "Yes, Levi? I thought we were done here," you say in a singsong voice. "Aw, you're ready to go?" Levi says sarcastically. You open your mouth to answer but he cuts you off. "For starters, thank you for adding on to mine and Erwin's paychecks. We really appreciate it. Arrangements for your hotel and honeymoon have been put together. You're tired of me, but don't hesitate to call me if something goes wrong. Besides that, I wish you luck. Make everything worth it."

Levi walks past you and Erwin stops to hug you before following his husband.

Jean makes his way up to you, his mom following behind. "Everything good? I saw shrimp talking to you." You take Jean's hand. "Everything's good." Jean pulls you into a side hug. "Aw, you guys are so cute. I really do hope you last," Jean's mom comments, "I've always wanted a daughter."

"Mom, nothing's official yet-"

"I'm glad you think of me as your daughter, June."

"Well, I'll see you later. Jean, take care of her tonight. Be good to her and listen to her. Don't be rough, she's not a rag doll," June warned her son. She had a finger up in his face and everything. Seeing their relationship on the regular was going going to be hilarious.

Jean swats his mom's finger out of his face before waving her goodbye. He then fully wraps his arms around you. "No offense. But I'm glad this is over. We'll get to know each other one on one now," he says. You can't help but agree.

ITS FINALLY OVER. well not exactly. i have one more chapter to write and y’all will never hear about levi, 12 guys, and dates ever again😭 but since this series has reached its goal (you getting married) please do me a favor and rate my series, it would be appreciated!

[dailymeruem]

How much does Meruem weigh?

Being a fan of a particular series or character means you want to know everything you can about them, even when certain information is not explicitly stated. Although we are privileged to follow Meruem from his conception to his death, there is still a lot of information we are not given about him. One such mystery is his weight!

Fellow Meruem lover and colleague Lurm (Wicked_witchart - Insta, TikTok) has done some casual sleuthing and maths, and has come up with a reasonable estimate as to how much Meruem would weigh!

I have received permission to share that info with you here, so if you would like to find out how much mass is contained in this tiny chunk of man, read on!

First of all, as noted at the outset, we are never given official specific physical stats in the manga by Togashi or in the anime. There is Meruem’s entries in the HxH guidebook(s), but the credibility of the guidebooks is often debated. Thus, these findings are by no means canon, but are a fun estimate that might add to your appreciation of the character, or could help members of the HxH fandom in fanfic, rp or art endeavors! 

To begin, we will be establishing some base estimates regarding one thing we have a better idea about: Meruem’s height. This will be the base of our weight calculations, as you shall see.

Again, Meruem’s exact height is not stated in canon, but we do have 2 clues: the HxH Guidebooks, and comparing his height visually to characters we do know the exact height of. I won’t be getting into finding all that here, that’s another topic, but I will be using these two sources for my base height estimate:

This video that was put together by a fan based on speculation and the HxH guidebooks;

and this chart made by a fan on Reddit based on the same sources.

Based on these, we came to the conclusion that a relatively acceptable estimate for Meruem’s height would be 169cm (nice), or 5′5″. Short King!

~~

Step 1: Base Assumptions

This brings us to the beginning of our calculations. Before we figure out his main body weight, we need to consider one very important extremity: his tail.

Starting from our base assumption of Meruem’s height, we are going to attempt to decipher the length, diameter, and then volume of Meruem’s tail. We can then figure out how much his tail would weigh, which we can add to his total body weight at the end!

Fig 1.1 is our base assumptions for our calculations. Using Meruem’s head as a measuring guide, we see he is approximately 6 heads tall.1/6th of 169cm = 28.2cm, so we will use that figure as a Head Height.

To figure out his tail width, we will take these things into consideration:

 his tail is made up of 10 segments

each segment seems to be around the width of his hand (measuring the segment width vertically down the tail)

2 measurements of Meruem’s hand width = 1 Meruem head height 

With this info, we can conclude that Meruem’s tail is about 5 Heads long, or 5/6ths of Meruem’s full height. Subtracting the Head Height from the Full Height will give us the tail length:

Full Height (169cm) - Head Height (28.2cm) = 140.8cm Tail Length

We will use this measurement next to find out how much the tail would weigh!

~~

Step 2: Tail Volume

Fig 1.2 is going to help us visualize how we find the diameter of Meruem’s tail in order to plug it into our calculation.

Looking at official Meruem art for the anime (which is what we are using for this research as anime refs tend to be more consistent), his tail appears to have the same approximate diameter as Meruem’s face, from his chin up to the “brim” of his hat. 

We have to rely on eyeballing for this, and this boy has a big noggin, so we are going to be generous and say that the diameter of his tail is 1/2 of his head height, to allow for the rest of his head, the height of which is depicted often inconsistently, even in the anime. 

1/2 of Head Height (28.2cm)= 14.1cm Tail Diameter

We now have the Tail Length and Diameter. Now the math begins.

The tail is a cylinder, so we will be using the formula for the volume of a cylinder-  V = πr2h

Radius = 14.1 (Diameter of Tail) divided by 2 = 7.05 Tail Radius

V= πr2h = π·7.052·140.8 ≈ 21985.21725

V ≈ 21985.22 cm3

So, what do we do with this number?

~~~

Step 3: Tail Weight

When thinking about weight, you need to think of *what* is making up that weight. In humans, aside from fat, a major factor in weight is skeletal muscle.

As you may know, muscle is quite dense, and for a being of Meruem’s power, I’m sure he has a lot of it. Judging by the speed, power and precision that Meruem can swing his tail around, it’s safe to say that thing is probably entirely muscle mass. We are going to figure out the weight of Meruem's tail using it's volume measurement and the weight measurement of skeletal muscle per cm3!

> OBJECTION!!!! <

But Beamie!, you may exclaim, Meruem is an ant! He doesn’t have a skeleton! But remember, Meruem was made up of entirely human genetic material. He’s not all human, but he is also not all bug. I am going to quote Lurm directly here as they explain their reasoning:

I would argue that he does have an inner skeleton

His hands don't seem to have any junctions, and his face has too much free movement and is too smooth to be made of such hard material

But at the same time it's not floppy meaning he has something on the inside keeping it together

For me it makes no sense for him to have lighter bones (like birds) cause he needs the structure to keep his body erect and suspend his helmet, also higher risk of fractures which we have seen he's very resistant against

Also also he has a freaking big ass, muscular TAIL which probably adds quite a few kilos to his total

For the reasons above, we are going to go with the assumption that Meruem does indeed have some sort of inner skeleton, as a supplement to his exoskeletal parts.

Back to the calculation. Skeletal muscle weighs 1.04 gram per cubic centimeter. So to find out how much the tail weighs, we are going to multiply this weight by the volume we figured out in the last step.

1.04g/cm3 x 21985.22 cm3 =  22864.63g

Tail Weight = 22.9 (50.4lbs)

That’s one heavy tail!

~~~

Step 4: Body Weight

Almost there! This is the section where we are going to do the most estimating. Meruem is not a tube we can easily find the volume of like his tail, so the closest thing we can do is compare his body to a human male of the same stature.

Looking up average body weights of a healthy human male of 169cm, the ideal range is between 57.1kg (125.8) and 71.4kg (157.4lbs) . Because Meruem’s is most likely entirely muscle, we are going to go with the highest number here to cover our bases. This is a dense chunk of ant man.

With the body weight of 71.4kg, the final piece of our puzzle is the exoskeleton. We have no way of knowing a)precisely how much exoskeleton we are talking, and b) how much it would weigh, as we don’t know how thick it is. There is no real way to measure the weight of a real bug’s exoskeleton either, aside from weighing molted skins or something. The best we can do is to compare the material of an exoskeleton (chitin) to something similar. Keratin might be the closest we can get. 

Lurm came up with the ballpark number of 5kg (11lbs) for the exoskeleton weight through their science ways and I don’t know about all of you, but that sounds reasonable to me.

Total Body Weight= 71.4kg (157.4lbs) + 5kg (11lbs) = 76.4kg (168.4lbs)

~~~

Final Results

Meruem’s total weight:

Body Weight 76.4kg (168.4lbs) + Tail Weight = 22.9 (50.4lbs)

99.3 kg (219 lbs)

Solid, but still within lifting range. If you worked out, you could carry him bridal-style. Can’t knock this boy over with a pail of water. He can sit on your lap but your legs might fall asleep/need amputating. Nice!

I hope you enjoyed this scientific journey!! Over-analyzing anime characters is what we do best here at DailyMeruem. Peace!

[vtforpedro]

health update - long post

hi everyone! I think it's been a month and a half or so since my last update I saw a rheumatologist, had MRIs done, and got my results back from my hematologist SO cancer: still undetectable in my blood, check every 3 months and hope it doesn't show up for a long time lol \o/ I don't think I can say I'm in remission until a certain amount of time has passed but I hope I can say that one day MRIs: actually show some possible improvement with the chiari and spinal fluid flow? and if there IS improvement (like the radiologist who wrote the report had the MRI from a year ago as reference and his findings were all 'normal' compared to april 2020, but it was hard to get an answer out of my neurologist and neurosurgeon if there was solid evidence of physical improvement). but yeah IF there's improvement, that is highly indicative of IIH because my neurosurgeon told me when people with IIH lose weight, the chiari often corrects itself because there's less pressure and more room in the skull for the cerebellar tonsils to be in a normal position. regular chiari that you're born with doesn't do that lol so if there IS improvement with weight loss, then yeah, IIH. even if they don't wanna put in the diagnostic code for it without a lumbar puncture sigh lol I hate typing this because I'm so paranoid it'll all go to shit if I talk about it, but there have been improvements as I've lost weight. I seem to have a couple weeks where my head isn't so severe, mostly manageable with a few awful days. then I'll have a few weeks of it being Really Really bad with a few not-so-awful days. which IIH can do this sort of 'remission' thing but considering it was like 24/7 with no breaks for a year I'd say this is moving in the direction I want it to completely changed my diet a handful of months ago and adjusting it still to be even healthier/more fulfilling. I started using the Noom app (paid sub version) cause it's so focused on psychology instead of 'dieting' and building habits that are sustainable in the long, long-term. I really love it so far. the routine of doing it at the same time every day has already made me feel better mentally about my weight loss journey despite my struggles with losing weight, I am officially down 20lbs \o/ they say for improving/curing IIH, you need to lose 10-20% of your body weight. well, 10% down! time to lose another 20, but I don't find it intimidating and I'm not dreading it. it's hard to have hope, especially on really bad weeks, but I'm taking it one day at a time. definitely not cured but I'm aiming for 40lbs more (so 60 altogether) and by then, maybe, just maybe.... rheumatologist/autoimmune disorder results: so I went to a rheum cause I got that positive autoimmune disorder blood test with the possibility of lupus or scleroderma. she said that she gets so many hematology patients because leukemia and lymphoma have blood antibodies, so it will almost always show up as positive on this antibody test and most people actually won't have an additional autoimmune disorder. I don't have a lot of symptoms of lupus or scleroderma according to her, so she told me don't worry about autoimmune disorders for three months. don't think about them. we'll repeat labs then and see what they say. so that's good news so far and I hope it remains that way 15%+ of the population will test positive on the same test without having any health issues, which I found interesting. and I asked since I already have an autoimmune disorder, tho it's endocrine versus rheumatic, if that would also trigger a positive result and she said yes it would! so yeah... I hope by late July I can still say I don't have an additional autoimmune disorder I see a gastroenterologist tomorrow for the bloating/abdominal pain and other stuff I've been having. I have a feeling I'll be given some antacids (or w/e they're called when it's prescription strength) and that will improve. but jfc I'm up to eight specialists now lol NINE doctors are following my health god it's such a shitty feeling especially when I can barely trust any of them. at

least they all believe me now, but it cost me my quality of life and mental health to even get to this point so I'm still feeling pretty fucking bitter and angry about it all you know what's really hard about completely changing my diet + starting new medications/supplements? for some reason at the beginning of all of this when I was experiencing repeated trauma at the ER, my brain developed a phobia of allergic reactions, despite the fact that I've never had one for food/medicine (I'm talking anaphylactic reactions). so now every single new thing I eat, every new med or supplement, I go through panic attacks for days on end thinking I'm going to die before it starts easing. also, anxiety makes your throat feel like it's closing up and that it's harder to breathe already so lmao fun times. I literally never thought about this in all my life and I never even experienced an allergic reaction to develop this intense fear, so you know. fuck doctors for putting me through this when it was all so unnecessary sigh anyway. still can't watch videos, tv, movies, read, bend over, walk for longer than 5 minutes, and can't talk for long either because it'll trigger a head episode. I'm terrified I won't be able to do these things ever again, but I'm still aiming for my goal weight no matter what and I know I can get there bouncing between misery and hopelessness, and slightly less misery and some hope right now, but I guess that's better than it's been for a year, right? sorry for rambling. I feel like a lot has gone on but I've also had the biggest gaps between doc appts in a while which is a relief just because I can't stand being in medical buildings or around doctors anymore completely vaccinated too, so that's another relief, but I'm wearing masks until americans get their heads out of their asses and we start seeing little to no community spread cause I am still immunocompromised. wouldn't it be nice if people like, idk, cared about each other ok sorry! I hope you're all well and healthy and safe. I love you very much and I'm grateful for your support, forever and always! <3

[rwby-grimm-guardians]

RWBY Grimm Guardians Arc 4: Re-Bonding In Mistral Ch 9

Welcome back to Re-Bonding In Mistral! Here, the duel is won and after all is said and done, decisions are made.

Ones that will make the Roses, Yang, and the Branwens….very happy.

As usual, please give constructive criticism and enjoy!

I APOLOGIZE FOR NOT DOING THE DUEL. I WAS BUSY WITH COLLEGE AND IT ROBBED ME OF A LOT OF INSPIRATION.

Disclaimer: Still own nothing. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (In the Vault of Haven….)

“VAMPIER!” Summer shouted as the two descended down the elevator shaft. The Bat Queen snarled in annoyance, “You going to stop being a pain in my ass or what!?” “Says the bitch who won’t stay dead!” The former STRQ leader snapped as the two landed on the elevator car. Vampier immediately tore into it, making a hole and barely escaping the taller woman’s grasp. Snarling, Summer hopped down the hole, landing in the Vault, before the two women froze at the sight before them.

Much to their surprise, Raven was victorious in her duel with the Fall Maiden, as Cinder was beginning to turn to stone.

“And that’s that.” The tribe leader said, her Maiden power relaxing back to her normal state. “Now do Sum and I a favor and do NOT come back.” She then looked over to Vampier, glaring at her, “Now then, you’re next.” “You...actually think...this is the end?” The Fall Maiden asked in pain as her leg began to turn to stone. As Summer and Raven looked at Cinder in confusion, the Bat Queen gave a smug grin that the former STRQ leader wanted to desperately tear off.

Cinder gave a sneer, before forming a scimitar in her left hand and, to Raven and Summer’s horror, proceeded to outright amputate her right leg from her upper thigh. The Fall Maiden then landed on her back, cauterizing the wound with a weak sinister chuckle, “Better….luck….next time, bitches.”, before passing out. Vampier, transforming into a giant bat, then grabbed her, before taking off and breaking through every floor in Haven to fly away and retreat.

Before either of Summer and Raven could think of a plan, Vernal made a pained groan. The tribe leader and former STRQ leader rushed over to the bandit, kneeling, only to notice that she had lost too much blood. “We can’t save her….can we?” The red clad woman asked.

Before Summer could respond, Vernal grabbed Raven’s hand, looking at her with pleading eyes. “Don’t….go back…” The bandit said weakly. “Don’t go back….to the tribe…!” She then looked at Summer, saying, “You’re...safer….with her…” “Protect each other…” Vernal said, tears now running down her cheeks, much to Raven and Summer’s shock. “Please….!”

Summer gave a shaky, but determined nod, “We will… I swear, we will…” Vernal gave a small smile, before looking at Raven. “Don’t...thank me...yet...” The bandit said. “This journey of yours….is not….over….” Then, Vernal’s hand went limp as her breathing ceased.

She was gone….and Raven could only look at her with guilt as she wiped the tears from Vernal’s face.

The former STRQ leader gave a sad sigh as she closed Vernal’s eyes, whispering, “Repose en paix, Vernal.”, before standing. The tribe leader knew very well….that the taller woman said “rest in peace” in her native language.

Summer went over to the chamber containing the Relic of Knowledge, before grabbing it and holding it over the edge of the abyss. The expression on her face was that of anger….and Raven knew what her former leader was thinking.

“Summer….” She called out. After the former STRQ leader turned to face her old partner, Raven sighed. “Look, I’m not gonna stop you.” She admitted. “But is this really what you think is right at this moment?” Summer’s grip on the Relic tightened as she said, “People... Innocent families are being killed SIMPLY in search of the Maidens and the Relics… Hell, Vernal was killed because of this damn thing!” “But part of you feels like you should use the Relic instead.” The elder Branwen twin said. “Right?”

Summer’s expression softened, before turning to look at the Relic. Finally, after several moments of silence, the former STRQ leader threw the Relic back over towards Raven in frustration. “Fuck this shit….” Summer whispered, walking over and collapsing to her knees in front of her old partner. The tribe leader nodded in agreement, holding the taller woman as a means to calm her down.

“I want a funeral pyre. For Vernal.” Raven whispered. Summer just nodded, “She deserves to rest, doesn’t she?” The tribe leader nodded with a sad sigh, “She deserved a fate better than this…. But this is all I can give her now….” The former STRQ leader nodded with a sigh, lifting Vernal’s body in her arms.

Raven made a portal to her camp, before she and Summer sneaked into an area far from it. There, the two women performed a funeral pyre for Vernal. The two were able to cut up enough wood necessary for it and Summer provided a fire arrow as a means of ignition.

Summer and Raven watched in silence as Vernal’s body burned away into ash, allowing the young bandit to return to the planet that birthed her. “She’d be happy that you were able to give her an honorable and peaceful funeral.” The former STRQ leader explained, before Raven gave a sad nod. Noticing the tribe leader’s tears, Summer pulled Raven into an embrace, which the shorter woman was more than willing to return for comfort.

And as she did so, Raven cut off all ties with the bandit tribe. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- (Some time later….)

As Summer and Raven headed into the main lobby via Raven’s portal, the taller of the two said, “Not gonna lie, even though you were bribed by Salem’s pets, I…didn’t expect you to be here.” The elder Branwen nodded in agreement, “Neither did I. Though I had to be here.” “Especially considering what I must protect.” Raven said. The former STRQ leader gave a small smile, receiving another in return.

As they entered the lobby, the pair quickly noticed Ghira and Kali being introduced by Blake and Gambol to the rest of the group. “Looks like that reunion went well.” Raven said, noticing her daughter, step-daughter, and their friends having fun. Summer chuckled with a nod, before waving to Evergreen. Smiling, the former headmaster notified the group of Summer and Raven’s appearance.

Noticing his leader and sister’s return, Qrow immediately went over and hugged his sister. His twin. His family. Raven returned the embrace tightly, before gently breaking it and looking over to her right as Ghira and Kali walked up. “Glad to see you three are still doing well.” The chieftain smiled. “Mostly, at least.” Summer hummed, “We all have a lot of catching up to do.” Kali nodded with a chuckle, “Yes, we do. Perhaps over dinner?” The Silver-Eyed warrior smiled, “Sounds like a plan.”

“But first, I believe you have someone to OFFICIALLY meet.” The former STRQ leader said to Raven, earning a raised eyebrow from her partner.

The taller of the three women, as well as Qrow, chuckled as she motioned Ruby to join her. Raven immediately paled, thinking in panic, ‘Oh shit. I am NOT ready for this.’ As the red cloaked teenager stood next to her mother, Summer said something that the tribe leader would NEVER have expected, “Raven, this is Ruby. Ruby, this is Raven Branwen. She’s your other mom.”

Immediately, the elder Branwen felt like time had stopped.

Summer had just said that the tribe leader was Ruby’s mom as well.

Before Raven could react, Ruby smiled with joy and hugged the elder Branwen tightly. Yang looked at Blake, who smiled and nodded, causing the blonde to go towards the tribe leader. After a few moments, Raven found herself hugging the teenagers tightly.

Only now...did she finally understand. Only now….did she finally remember. In the end, there was no difference, regardless of the surname or blood running through their veins. Hell, it didn’t matter if they shared any relation or not. It never did.

Just like how Summer, Kali, and Taiyang were the twins’ family, Ruby and Yang were also family. That meant Ruby was just as much of her daughter as Yang was.

Her former leader gave her a small smile, filled with pride and a sense of joy. “So.” Raven said. “I...assume you’re waiting for an answer…” Summer sighed, “Raven, I told you. This is your decision. No one’s forcing you to do anything.”

“And you know I’ll support you in any way I can.” The taller woman reassured. The elder Branwen twin sighed with a nod. She knew that. Even after all these years, Summer understood and supported her decision to leave in order to protect everyone she loved.

But the red clad woman knew Vernal was right. THIS is where she should be. Safe…

With her family.

“I...think I’ll join you all.” Raven said, much to her family’s surprise. “Rae, you know you don’t have to…” The former STRQ leader said. The elder twin shook her head, “No, this is where I should be. Where I’m safe. With family.”

“Of course, only under the condition that I don’t fuck up.” She said. Summer sighed with a knowing smirk. “We all make mistakes… That’s life for you.” She said. “But you never made a mistake with your family. That is for certain.”

“Of course, if that DOES somehow happen…” The former STRQ leader started with a smile. “I’ll be there to make it right.” Raven returned the smile, saying, “You better.” “Otherwise you might not get another kiss from me.” She said with a grin.

Summer gave a fake gasp with a smirk, “You would never.” The now-former tribe leader gave a shrug, before giving her partner a smirk that was pure torture for the taller woman. The former STRQ leader proceeded to grin, “Then I guess I’ll have to steal them from you.”, before the two women eagerly kissed each other.

After breaking apart, Summer racked her fingers through Raven’s hair, before connecting her forehead with her partner’s. “Gods, I’ve missed you, Raven...” She whispered. The former tribe leader nodded, a couple tears running down her face as she smiled, “I missed you too, Summer...”

The two women both shared a small chuckle as the truth settled in.

Raven was home….and she wasn’t going anywhere.

She was here to stay this time...and Summer couldn’t be happier.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that’s it for Vol 5. We still have a few special chapters, but after that, we finally begin Vol 6.

Yep, Raven has come home. Vernal is given a private funeral and begs Raven not to go back to the tribe.

Cinder is BAT-SHIT insane, though I’m sure you all knew that about my Cinder by now.

Next, we have the united-moms chapter that I promised ages ago.

[coolguycy]

u r so valid

bUT ANYWAYS WELCOME TO MY FUCKING TED TALK

SO

1. DUKEXIETY

listen. listen. there are a good amount of songs that are very dukexiety. but i think 'still into you' by paramore is PEAK FUCKING DUKEXIETY and i will explain why. they fucking RADIATE exes who get back together- remus acts sort of flirty to virgil and also they would commit more petty crimes together- not quite as dramatic as demus but still, crime.

i think they'd've dated pre-AA and then never officially break up but they'd stop seeing each other. they'd both feel very torn up over it but since literally all of the sides repress their emotions like there's no tomorrow they'd act sort of resentful towards one another.

they'd probably end up getting back together after a good few months of pining and patton dating both of them which i will elaborate on below

2. MOXIETY

probably the most canon backed of all three of these mostly because remus is canonically resented by the both of them as far as we know

THESE MFERS SAPPY. honestly i dont have as much to write for them but i think it'd be a really long journey of trust for virgil after a bad ending w/ remus and really just learning and adapting to each others boundaries

i think they'd be really supportive of one another, helping each other out with emotional mires and fuck man these two

i can see them just listening to music together and cuddling- they'd be pretty quiet while hanging out, save for patton occasionally cracking a dad joke.

3. INTRUALITY

my beloved

i'd like to start with a list of things patton has canonically done: - arson - theft - destruction of a brand new TV - causing a neighborhoodwide power outage - pretty much dumping an entire container of chili flakes in something i dont remember what it was

he also constantly makes jokes that are dirty and feigning innocence after making them (i see through his lies/j)

these two would steal a shopping cart together and run from the cops while taking a joyride in the shopping cart. virgil is their bail out.

it'd honestly be really interesting to see how patton would face falling for remus though- remus is everything he doesnt want thomas to be, everything he sees as wrong

i think its really a lot of mutual learning to understand and respect each other while still being themselves.

4. MUSH IT ALL TOGETHER

first off- they're all chaotic in their own ways

second off, if you've seen the john mulaney what's new pussycat bit i dont think i have to say anything more than that

third off, i can see them watching horror movies together. if not that, then at the very least coraline.

fourth:

if you know of dear evan hansen

and why am i qualified to spread the good news of intrumoxiety?

this is my sanders sides blog. it is the only blog to show up. there are about 11 posts when you search this, and i think 3 of them are my posts and 1 was made for me.

thnak you for your time, i leave you with a spotify playlist

https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6jJOjqHqVhDVDHmyT8R2A4?si=9a471498ac3540a8

asdfghjk you put so much thought into this i love it

[lizacstuff]

Sen Çal Kapımı / Edser Asks

After the fragman, I got a few anons this afternoon, my answer are under the cut. 

(Also my initial reactions are in this post.)

Anonymous said: In the spirit of optimism- when Eda broke up with Serkan in 25, everyone freaked out but by the end of the next episode, she proposed LOL. Maybe just maybe they won’t do the “everyone pretends Selin and Serkan are a thing for medical reasons for multiple episodes” route and someone gets her kicked to the curb in 29. I wonder how much of the 2.5 hrs will be before he comes back and how much is after.

LOL, I certainly would like Selin to be back for only one episode. I hope my speculation is right (this post,)and her narrative purpose is to make Serkan distrust Eda from the start and once she’s done that she can exit stage right. 

As for the theory you mention, which I have seen on twitter, I don’t see people pretending they’re together for medical reasons. That makes zero sense to me (not that medical diagnosis on a silly romantic dramedy dizi would be accurate, lol) why would that be necessary? Why would anyone go along with that? Especially when all he would need to do is google himself to find out about his relationship with Eda.  They were all over the tabloids and on the cover of a magazine. Plus it seems like he knows about Eda, Selin tells him "she turned you into someone you’re not and dragged you into a different world.”  He has to know they were in a relationship.

There is a lot of knee-jerk hysteria over there right now which is leading to completely neurosis-induced, nonsensical, worst-case scenario speculation. I recommend avoiding for awhile if anyone is easily upset by that type of thing. 

As for the timeline of the ep, great question. I am hoping that the walk into ArtLife is not the end of the episode. We’re going to need to see Serkan and Eda meeting face to face before this episode is up in order to survive! We know almost the full cast (including Hande and Kerem) were shooting at a cafe yesterday, and the cast looked dressed up. Most thought it was for 1x28, so that seems like there are scenes with Serkan and the full cast in this ep. 

Though, the show has a lot of questions to answer.  How in God’s name did he end up in that cabin? Did he get on the plane or not?  Was he held captive and got dropped in the woods with only Selin’s phone number? Has he been in a coma?  Was there foul play involved?   Was there a brain injury or did Babaanne arrange his kidnapping and give him some experimental drug to wipe out his memories of Eda? 

Not sure if this Deniz is a law enforcement official or some sort of private detective, but there would have been some sort of official inquiry and search when he went missing. So he can’t just be lazing around for 2 months, easily findable. And Selin can’t have been with him for anything length of time without the others knowing he’s alive, because that would pretty much be kidnapping. So what HAPPENED? 

Anonymous said: I hope we get good Eda and Aydan moments. She didn’t get married but she is still Aydan’s daughter now. He’s going to come back and find that this woman has his mother, his company, his dog, his car, his friends.....there’s no way that he doesn’t just know that Selin has been a snake.

Yes, please!  I’m sure we will get Eda and Aydan moments, it looks from the first trailer that they will lean on each other while he’s missing. Which they should, they’ll be the two that will hold out hope and give one another comfort. 

I am LOVING that Eda is driving his car and taking care of his dog. As she should, they were hours away from being married! And yes, you’re correct, he’s going to find Eda so deeply embedded in everything he remembers (except Selin) that it’s going to drive him crazy. Who is this woman and how did she ensorcell him so thoroughly? Can’t wait for him to find out. 

You know what I’m most looking forward to in regards to Aydan? Serkan’s shock that his mother has conquered her agoraphobia. Can’t wait for him to find out that Eda was instrumental in helping her do that. 

She is going to hit him like an emotional freight train. A second time. 

Anonymous said: i know most of the fandom has already accepted it as fact bc they can't wait for the actual ep to make conclusions, but i'm less inclined to believe he's been in that cabin w/ selin for 2 months.. idk HOW he gets there, or how selin ends up there.. but for some reason i think they find him first, and he takes off by himself for a bit as he's overwhelmed with the whole situation.. and then selin enters. idk, we'll have to see it, but i think, like all trailers, it's confusing on purpose.

This theory is definitely possible. That he’s found and freaks out and goes to the cabin. Perhaps the last he remembers he was still with Selin so he reaches out to her for answer about what’s going on.  That would make sense why he accepts her comfort, and she gives it, but can’t help herself from trying to do everything in her power to make him distrust Eda. Even if she doesn’t have hope of reconciliation, just to cause chaos because she doesn’t want them to find happiness together. She’s said it more than once, she didn’t want him happy, while she was not. 

Anonymous said: I am not emotionally prepared to watch the look on Eda’s face when Serkan walks in holding hands with Selin after being missing for the last two months....😭😭😭. Also even if Serkan & Selin are purely platonic watching their scenes together are going to be brutal. I am prepared to cry ( both tears of joy & sadness) & be very mad at various points in this episode. It will be an rollercoaster of emotions for sure.

Yep, pretty much all of this!  I don’t think I’m going to enjoy watching this episode at all. However, my hope is that I will really enjoy watching the storyline that it sets up where we get to watch Serkan fall in love with Eda all over again.  Think of all the delicious, UST-y, sexy, funny, fiery, passionate scenes that are in store for us! 

Off the top of my head, things I want:

Serkan opening Madonna in a Fur Coat and finding their photo

Serkan’s deep-seated memory kicking in and mindlessly tearing the crusts off bread for her without realizing it or knowing why

Finding out his computer password and what it means

Seeing photos of them from their matchmaking party. Looking so in love and surrounded by friends and family and everyone looks so happy

One of the friends, Engin or Piril snapping and telling him the big change Eda brought about in him was just that he was happy

Serkan seeing media clippings of them and their relationship

Eda handcuffing him so they have to spend time together while trying to jog his memory

After being suspicious and trying to keep her at arms length, Serkan finally breaking down and asking her questions about their relationship

Serkan being mistrustful of her, but still unable to say no to her

Anonymous said: So I get that SCK is going through a reset and now we will get to watch Eda & Serkan fall in love again but seriously they brought Selin back like that...WTF? Now she is even worse than Balca. Plus the entire world thinks Serkan is dead but somehow Selin found him and never bothered to tell anyone else...that should send up some red flags for sure. Regardless of the explanation, this situation is going to crush Eda. And it seems like a lot to go through to have him immediately get his memories back so we could be stuck with this storyline for a while.

Yes, poor Eda is going to be crushed no matter what.  However, I know that people have been theorizing that the memory loss would be short, but I never thought it would be.  What’s the point of this reset unless they’re going to follow through with it and milk it for as many episode as possible. They’re trying to find ways to keep this show going and this is their big swing. 

The entire point is to recreate the magic of Eda and Serkan falling in love, and, honestly, I'm not sure why anyone would want that to be over in 2 episodes. I don’t see it as being stuck with the amnesia story, I’m excited for all the parallels, watching Serkan get struck by lightning a second time when he first sees her.  Watching him be suspicious of her, of her motives of her abilities, but then finding out all the same things that he found out the first time, that she’s fierce, kind-hearted, loyal and talented. And just a bright shining light for him. 

My heart melts just thinking about it.  We just have to get rid of that opportunistic, malevolent, bitter hag. 

Anonymous said: one complaint that i've seen in regards to sck is that characters aren't sent off properly.. but outside of maybe fifi (which we don't know how they'll explain her leaving) am i the only one that doesn't... really care? everyone that's left has been unsubstantial or in a villain role, and personally whatever way they leave i'm fine with lol.. i know when selin left ppl were mad bc they wanted a redemption story arc for her.. but not every character NEEDS that by default, if that makes sense.

For context, this ask was sent before the fragman.  I agree with you, no side character needs redemption by default. I’ve said it many times, but on this specific show, really only two characters matter: Eda and Serkan. This is their story. Their love story. Everyone else is supporting in the truest sense of the word. They all exist to prop up the A story. So for most of them their journey doesn’t matter unless it directly affects Eda or Serkan. (Aydan’s growth and redemption has directly impacted Eda and Serkan and that’s why time has been spent on it). Selin is a tool. She’s behaved erratically at time because she only exists for the writers to use her to antagonize the protagonists. Her story in and of itself does not matter. 

I laughed hysterically when some on twitter were thinking Serkan might really be dead and Kerem was leaving the show. 

Seriously? You think they would try to keep this show going without Edser? That anyone would pay money for it, without them?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! If one of them were to leave, the show would be over. Dead. Cancelled. There is NO reason for this show to keep going other than for more Edser. Everything else is an after thought, filler, or characters that prop up Eda and Serkan either literally or symbolically or thematically. Nothing else stands on it’s own.

They devised this storyline in order to go back to the magic of these two people falling in love. Full stop. That’s why we’re seeing this reset.  Because no other characters or their storylines are compelling enough to carry the show.  I applaud the writers for creating a situation where we could watch Serkan fall in love with Eda one more time. (just get rid of Selin, please, so I can enjoy it... and do it quickly.)

[beachknit]

MYSTERIOUS AUTHOR OF SIGNED, VENUS, "THE WRITER," FOUND

Sorry for the clickbait title. Pretty soon it won't be clickbait, though, and that's what this post is about!

If you don't already know, my name is Hayden. Welcome to my blog! Loyal readers might notice that all my old posts are gone… don’t worry, they’ve just been archived to a different site, and I will be sure to send everyone who was following before this post (which, honestly, wasn’t many people) a link so you can still read those old posts if you’d like. But for what I’m about to do, I think a fresh start and introductions are warranted!

Those of you who are from Coast Venus yourselves (which, I believe, will probably be the majority of you) will be excited to hear that the mystery we've all been keeping tabs on for the last ten years is about to be unravelled. Yes, that's right, I'm talking about the anonymous author behind Signed, Venus. The person, the myth, the Coast Venus legend themselves... The Writer!

To start this off with a bang, I have managed to identify and track down the slightly-less-enigmatic illustrator of Signed, Venus to their home here on Coast Venus's beach. Please do not try this at home, though, readers, for in most cases, it is rude to blatantly disregard the privacy and boundaries of others.

Now, I know what you Coast Venus skeptics are thinking, but rest assured: by the time you've finished reading this post, you will be completely convinced that I, Hayden, am the best and most worthy person for the job! But before we get to that, let me explain to our readers from out of town just why any of this matters.

Coast Venus is a little town in the country of Conclaire. If you've heard of us, it's probably because the town is known as a hotspot for authors and creatives. I copied this description from the town's official website, but we've been described as "Everyone's dream vacation, with breathtaking ocean views, world-class resorts, and famously friendly locals who will inspire with storytelling and poetry." The really important thing is that writing means a LOT to us here. You won’t find a person in this town who doesn’t at least read regularly, and I’m told that our local budget for literary arts is much higher than the international average.

The second most important thing to pay attention to is that, apart from Coast Venus, travel to other towns in Conclaire is generally off-limits. There’s a bunch of history behind that, blah blah, but basically for the last eighty or so years travel throughout Conclaire (except for Coast Venus, of course) has been almost completely unheard of. Almost.

Until The Writer did it. The first issue of Signed, Venus was published roughly ten years ago. In it, The Writer explained that they are breaking Conclaire’s travel taboo, going to the different towns, and recording what they find for publication here in Coast Venus. Signed, Venus is the only modern source of knowledge about what the rest of Conclaire is like. It’s such an important project for anyone who is interested in learning more about Conclaire, and The Writer conveys their findings with a unique and personal flair. Signed, Venus is my absolute favourite creative work, and I highly recommend that all of you check it out if you haven’t already.

Now, of course, there is a catch to all of this: nobody actually knows who The Writer is. We know that they’re from Coast Venus (or claim to be), and that they work with a local artist who illustrates and publishes each issue of the series. We know a bit about their personality from their writing, but we don’t actually have any identifying information other than that. Signed, Venus is published completely anonymously, and The Writer has only earned the moniker of “The Writer” from Coast Venus locals discussing their work.

Thank you for bearing with me through that explanation, Coast Venus readers, and you’ll be glad to know we’ve reached the part you actually care about. Here are the five W’s for your convenience:

Who: Me, Hayden, and my partner, Kameron, in pursuit of The Writer of Signed, Venus

Where: We will be going on a road trip throughout five locations in Conclaire, visiting sites that The Writer talked about. Specifically, we will visit Arabella, Sayre, Quidel, Mulani, and Urbina

What: We’ll be meeting and talking to locals of these different towns mentioned in Signed, Venus to ask them about their encounters with The Writer and their impressions of them

Why: The Writer is known for exaggerating. Instead of trying to go straight to where The Writer is right away, we want to try to learn more about what they’re like as a person as part of the process of uncovering their identity. Talking to those who have actually met him will be a great way to get a sense of what their character is really like off the page

When: This plan has been in the works for years, actually, but the first tangible step is happening today!

Okay, I know the “why” didn’t really answer the question you’re actually asking, which is, what prompted this? Why now?

The answer can be found in the latest issue of Signed, Venus, #44, in the final paragraph:

“… with my hammering heart and a tank full of gas, ready to head into what will likely be the last chapter of Signed, Venus, I want to thank those loyal readers who've kept up with my journey over the years. And, if my vain hope I've nurtured all this time ever comes true, that someday these journals will inspire one of you to set out from Coast Venus and explore Conclaire yourself, I'd like to ask that you not come after me or try to identify me."

As you can see, The Writer clarifies here that they have hoped for Coast Venus readers to someday be inspired by Signed, Venus to explore the rest of Conclaire. They then request that those of us who do make that journey do not try to find The Writer.

I believe that The Writer is being purposely facetious here (see issue #31 where they explain at length about their use of reverse psychology when talking to River). In the ten years since the first issue of Signed, Venus was published, no one has ever tried to find and identify The Writer. Sure, there has been plenty of guesswork done as to The Writer’s identity, particularly with astute readers comparing his writing style to the writing of other famous Coast Venus authors, or looking up records of locals who have left town, but no one has actually tried to follow in The Writer’s footsteps for the purpose of uncovering their identity. Also, there haven’t been a lot of attempts to travel Conclaire. The ones who have left end up either returning fairly soon after, discouraged by how this country isn’t exactly built for tourism once you’re outside of Coast Venus, or they create no written record of their travels so it’s pretty well useless to the rest of us. Keeping all of that in mind, it’s curious that The Writer would even bother to mention this, right?

Well, not really. If you’ve read enough of Signed, Venus, you’ll recognize this as a clear sign of encouragement. The Writer mentioned that readers travelling Conclaire is their hope because it’s something that they want readers to do. They love a good twist and a challenge (as we can see from the entirety of the series…), and they’ve been carefully creating a mystery around their identity since the very first issue. There’s a reason that here in Coast Venus we refer to The Writer as our town’s very own urban legend - that is exactly how The Writer wants us to feel about them. Telling us not to try to identify them just makes their identity even more mysterious and intriguing. The Writer knows that, and that’s the entire reason that they said it - they want us to look for them, and they want us to find them.

This morning, Kameron and I took the first steps on our journey. Like I said at the beginning of the post, I’ve figured out who the elusive illustrator of Signed, Venus is and their place of residence. But what I didn’t mention is that today, we actually went over to their house to ask them about The Writer. It didn’t all go exactly according to plan… but that’s a topic for the next post!

Follow my blog to keep up-to-date with me and Kameron as we set out to find The Writer! :) You can also follow Kam on Instagram.

[gra-sonas]

Currently airing its second season and already renewed for its third, The CW’s Roswell, New Mexico continues to push the story of alien siblings attempting to live peacefully in the town of Roswell to new places even perhaps for fans of the original Roswell. MICHAEL VLAMIS discusses working on the show, the complexities of his character, Michael Guerin, the many (MANY) other projects on his plate and more!

watchtivist: To start off, congratulations on the success of the show! How cool that you’re heading into season three now!

MICHAEL VLAMIS: It’s crazy, I remember when I got the call that I was going to be on the show in the first place. It’s the role that changed my life and it really set me up for all the other things going on in my life. I remember getting that call, crying in a public place. So jacked up! And now all of a sudden, it’s like no big deal. I watched the episode last night (episode 207) on the TV and I get reminded it’s a big deal when I talk to my parents after every episode and hear their thoughts. Just the fact that they get to see their son miles away on television once a week. I appreciate you saying that because sometimes it feels like this is something we’re doing now, but definitely taking those moments to be grateful and the fact that we have season three is amazing.

W: It’s really great, especially in this landscape where shows don’t really get to dig into things. It’s gotta be exciting!

MV: Definitely.

W: One of the questions we received from Twitter was about if this role, that of Michael Guerin, has led you to acquire any particular skill set (or sets) for it.

MV: Oh wow, that’s interesting. Season one made me pull out my guitar again. Which was actually really cool because I got like not good at guitar, but decent where I could play a few songs. In college, I borrowed someone’s guitar and later got my own and played a bunch. Then for years, I got so focused on trying to make it as an actor, writing and auditions, that I stopped playing it. The show forced me to really go out of my comfort zone and even though it was easy things like songs with four chords or strumming patterns, sometimes depending on shooting schedules and if they got switched around, I’d learn something three hours before going to set. We’d wrap super late sometimes and I’d come home and dig in with my guitar. It’s definitely helped me brush up on that. I haven’t played the guitar on season two, so I’m probably back to where I was. [Laughs]

W: With the violent circumstances making up Michael’s background, he kind of starts out with that “looking out for number one” approach to things and season two we’re seeing Michael’s growth and him realizing when it’s perfectly ok for him to let people in and reprioritize based on that. What has that been like for you in terms of tackling the role? What would you say is the next phase of the growth for him?

MV: I think number one in tackling it was that I had no idea that the character was this complex in the beginning. I knew he was hiding his sexuality and who he really is, which is an alien. I knew that something had happened to him in the foster system growing up and he didn’t have the best upbringing. As the seasons have developed, everything has made a lot of sense. I’m sure Carina (Adly MacKenzie) knew from the moment she got the opportunity to do the new Roswell , so the way that it was written in the beginning, I was never surprised where it led me. And even with not being surprised, it’s been really cool to just see what they’ve given me to jump into. It’s kind of helped me deal with some of my trauma as a kid, and my trauma is not near what Michael Guerin’s was. I definitely had my moments, just as we all do with our families. Not feeling good enough or just hiding certain things about you because you’re afraid of who you are and people wouldn’t understand you. The complexities of the character have really helped me also look into who I am. Because I need to figure out a way into every script, every scene and the character. It helps me strip things away and boil down to “Ok, who was thirteen-year-old, chubby, Michael Vlamis and now I’m this way. What was that growth like?” Figuring out my own personal growth helps me elevate that character, Michael Guerin.

With where we’re going next, I can’t say too much because he already has some changes coming towards the end of the season. It’s very interesting to see everyone’s theories online, some are correct and some are way off.

I saw in last night’s episode they finally revealed the junkyard owner, Walt, was the little boy from the flashbacks and people were speculating that really early on! That was really cool to see people getting validation in their theories because I love seeing those online. When it comes down to it, I want the dude to be happy with one of these lovers. I don’t know who that’s going to be. Everyone always asks who I’d rather be with and I can’t really even say that, even if I had one, because they’re both so different. I think Maria (Heather Hemmens) and Alex (Tyler Blackburn) are both good for Michael at different times in his life. I know Tyler is going around telling people that that’s what he wants in season three and I let him run his mouth and hope that his new love interest in the show crashes and burns. [Laughs] I would like him to be in a good relationship, a happy relationship, but at the same time, I’m so excited to do the work on the days where my mother is dying, my brother is in a coma or I’m getting my heart ripped out. I love those scenes so much, as happy as I want and think Guerin deserves to be, I love the drama on the show. So, a little bit of heartbreak won’t hurt me.

W: Right, that makes sense. The question was going to be what would you want to see for Guerin in season three and beyond but you basically answered that! You want him happy. [Laughs]

MV: I’d love to see that. I would like to further expand his journey of putting that spaceship back together. I would love to see where that goes. I don’t even know if The CW has the budget to do that and take us to outer space or something but I think that’d be so cool. To find out about that and their home planet.

W: I mean, The CW has The 100 and DC Comics shows! Space isn’t a new place for The CW.

MV: That’s true! So maybe right now we’re willing it into existence. We’re manifesting it.

W: Actually, bringing up spaceships. Given that we live in the craziest of times and the Pentagon officially released videos of UFOs - Has that been something you’ve talked about with any cast or crew members?

MV: I haven’t talked to any of the cast or crew members about it but I’m pretty sure we’re all feeling the same way about it, we’re all excited for any new information. I’ve been interested in aliens since I found out Tom Delonge from Blink 182 was a major conspiracy theorist and loves everything about UFOs and alien artifacts, that search for if there’s life outside of our own. I always thought that was so cool, going back to fourth grade listening to “Aliens Exist” by Blink 182. I want that to be the case, I want that to be real. I think life would be far more interesting and I’m always trying to believe in the most interesting things because it just furthers the imagination. I haven’t talked about it with them but now that you’ve mentioned it, I’ll shoot off a text.

W: The show hasn’t shied away from increasingly difficult topics like the foster system, immigration, citizen’s rights, abortion, etc. Is there an area you’re hoping the show either continues to explore or adds going forward?

MV: I would’ve answered this question so differently two years ago but now I would say something with the LGBTQ community really responding well to the show has really furthered me as a human being and opened up my mind to what people who are made to feel “outside of the norm” go through. I personally don’t think or feel that they are. I think it’s ridiculous the taboo that society has placed on sexualities over the years. The fact that we give marginalized voices a platform to come forward and see that what they’re going through, other people are going through. That it’s ok, it’s love and that’s all that really matters at the end of the day. It’s so special to me. The more that we can tackle that, it really comes down to my character and Tyler’s character having a great relationship. That might mean that Lily Cowles’ character, Isobel, is still going to Planet 7 and seeing what’s out there. I think it’s cool how we normalize that, it’s not a big deal. I live in LA right now, and people, they experiment, they’re fluid. They’re interested and the more you find out about yourself, the more you know, the more comfortable you are with yourself. I think that’s a really important topic that I want to further.

I think we’ve done a really good job with the idea of what an immigrant is and what an immigrant looks like. I think we tackled the abortion scenes, I would’ve never thought that was something on our show. It’s very hard because the writers find a way to interweave everything in. I haven’t had the time to sit back and think “what else?” because every week has been something new.

W: That’s a great answer, it’s true. The show has covered a lot of topics and it’s doing very well.

MV: The abortion episode was insane, Carina fought for those shots of Lily’s legs bloody and she didn’t want to shy away from the graphicness of the scene. And I think that was important, to be really truthful to that.

W: Incredibly. This season resurrected Rosa (Amber Midthunder) from a pod years later, which is similar in a way to Captain America or Han Solo being unfrozen. With time having gone on, she’s having to adjust and in her own way, catch up to 2020. Let’s say you were able to suggest 1-2 things that someone should undoubtedly know about in 2020, what would it be? Is it a book, movie, show, certain type of food? What’s something you’d for sure put on that “must haves/dos” list of things or experiences?

MV: Oh wow, you’re really making me think about this! I can’t help but think about it as if it was me in that scenario and I would say something that I was really fortunate enough to do ten years ago, which was scuba dive The Great Barrier Reef. I think it’s so sad that it’s deteriorating at such a rapid rate because of pollution. I’m sure some natural causes. A lot of people fighting climate change will say natural causes and I can understand and see both sides to that, but I know that we definitely contribute to that. That was one of the most spectacular things I’ve ever seen. And if someone wasn’t able to see it the way I saw it, I haven’t been down there since so I don’t actually know what it looks or feels like now. But that was one of the first moments in my life where what I was experiencing…the world felt so big. Not in a way it felt just traveling. In a way it felt magical, that something like this can just exist and has existed much longer than we’ve ever been around. I’ve had that with hiking the second largest glacier in the world. All these feelings with nature have really expanded my mind and my horizon of the potential and possibilities. Realizing we’re very small, we’re here for a short amount of time. Let’s cherish it.

Traveling to these places that have just been so affected, I think that’s very important because of what it did to my mindset.

W: I loved that answer, you made it ecofriendly and everything. That was wonderful!

MV: My sister studied environmental science at the University of Illinois, so I gotta keep her mind. But I really do believe that. Maybe that’s something I want to see in the show too! Go into some climate change.  I don’t think we’ve touched that really, have we? Each side has arguments.

W: Each episode of Roswell, NM is titled after a famous ‘90s song. What’s your favorite or what would you consider the most iconic ‘90s song or band/musician?

MV: For me, it was Blink 182! In the ‘90s that was me. I’m a big Conor Oberst fan, the lead singer of Bright Eyes. The fact I’m in a scene, now multiple scenes that play that song. They did it in season one and in season two, they play “First Day of My Life,” that has been so surreal to me because music has been so important to me as a kid. I haven’t told many people this. As a kid I’d make short films with my friends, a lot of people know that, but what they don’t know is that I would rip so much music from all these platforms. As a little 11 year old kid, I’d get as much music as I could to have thousands of songs on my iTunes and iPod. Not that I was going to listen to them, but that one day when I was making my own big movies, I’d have this database of music to select from. Back then there wasn’t Spotify and it wasn’t as readily available, and also I was a kid and that was my thinking! Music has such an influence on my life, but Blink 182 specially. All that angst I was feeling at the time as a kid, it’s really in Guerin and me, even though I handle it in different ways in real life. Feeling a little different or not understood, that was that music that would give me a release without being too intense or too Screamo. If a Blink 182 song is ever in a scene that I’m in, I can die a happy man.

W: [Laughs] Amazing. Alongside acting, you’re also a talented writer, director and producer. A screenplay that you co-wrote earned a spot on the Black List which was one of the coolest things I’ve ever read. Congratulations! Are there other projects you’re currently working on or maybe topics you’re considering for future screenplays?

MV: Thank you! Yeah, definitely! The new Nicolas Cage/Tiger King series, the creator of that is actually the showrunner of a TV show my writing partner and I created as well. So, we’re all really stoked about that. Dan Lagana, showrunner of American Vandal is making such a splash with this Nicolas Cage project that it’s helping our TV show get put together too. We’ve got the Black List/Mac Miller script, we have a “Halloween comedy” feature film that’s set up at Seth MacFarlane’s company right now. Hopefully that gets made. We have an “old lady comedy” that’s being read, taking a lot of good meetings on that. We’re writing our next movie right now, we’re probably going to finish the beat sheet. We do a very detailed, intense outline of the movie, scene by scene as if we were actually writing the script. Exterior, interior, every single scene in order, everything we want out of characters in the scene, what we expect to happen, some dialogue that maybe came to mind as we’re banging out the outline. Once we get to writing, we could bang out eight pages in a day. We finish scripts very quickly, so we’re writing a “mob action comedy” right now. So yes, I became a writer out of desperation and found some success with writing. It’s been really good. As a kid making short films, it wasn’t actually in script form.

The last four years I’ve been writing a ton and now it’s starting to pop off a bit. I love it. I produce my own movies too and it looks like we’re about to lock down distribution for the first feature film I produced and starred in called Five Years Apart, it’s got a pretty cool cast in it and I’m really pumped for people to see it, we have a really cool distributor, I’m 99% sure that’ll be our distributor but I don’t want to jinx it. We’ll see if that’s going to be Hulu, Netflix, small theatrical release, I’m not sure yet. As a first time producer I’m learning all that. We’re gearing up on producing our next feature too, we were planning on filming in Wisconsin this summer but things have changed with the conditions of the world.

Acting, producing, writing, directing and releasing another merch line. I’ve been staying busy during the quarantine!

W: Seems so! I saw the line and love the pops of color!

MV: Thank you! It’s been really good, honestly the feedback, I was very surprised with how it’s done. Compared to last year and the multiple drops, this year, we’re nearing a certain point in orders and products that we’ll have to produce within three days of being out. It’s been really cool. Last year we gave 100% of profits to a charity called Random Acts started by Misha Collins of Supernatural. And this year, I unfortunately can’t do 100% again, I made the point but learned the lesson in that we had no money for this next launch. [Laughs] I had to dig into my own pockets, which was fun and it’s all good, it’s a big creative project. This year Carina created this thing called The Little Alien, a Roswell fund for the Roswell crew that’s out of work right now. She’s been raising money through t-shirts and I’m going to donate some of our proceeds to them as well. They’re the heartbeat of the show, they’re the reason we get to be there every day and things go smoothly. We’re trying to take care of them at this time.

W: Amazing, intentions matter so that’s really cool to hear. Lastly, anything you’d like to say to those reading and watching?

MV: To those reading and watching, thank you from the bottom of my heart that you’re tuning in and giving me a platform to do what I love the most. And what I set out to do felt like such a dream that from the age of 12 to 20, I wasn’t acting and making movies. Dreams are just dreams until you realize that they are very plausible, and most dreams, I think, can be achieved given the right circumstances, opportunities and work ethic. Thank you for allowing me follow my dreams and I hope that I’m able to inspire you to follow yours.

~ WatchTivist

[acourtofhopeanddreams]

All I want...is you

This was originally written for day 7 of @jonsa-week​ based on the prompt: BASTARDS - ROYALTY - FREE CHOICE, but then my laptop drowned and I only got a new one now. But, better late than never, right? And MERRY CHRISTMAS MY LOVELY JONSA FAMILY!

Sansa agreed to marry prince Jon Targaryen, crown prince of Westeros. But now she's actually meeting him for the first time, doubts linger in her mind. What if the crown prince isn't as nice and brave and strong as he seems?

arranged marriage // the Targs still rule

This was what she wanted. This was what she had dreamed of all her life. This was why she had thanked her father, over and over again. But now she was here, surrounded by unfamiliar faces and a castle she didn’t know, she was not so sure anymore.

Only a few weeks ago she had left Winterfell, excited about all the adventures waiting for her in the south. She had been looking forward to the parties, the music, the dancing and all the girls her age she would meet. But a part of her heart longed for her own bedroom, where she had dreamed countless of nights away and had written passage after passage in her diary.

A part of her heart missed her family terribly, her father, just but always right, her mother, strict but only because she loved her, her older brother Robb, who liked to tease her but also dried all her tears and her younger brothers Bran and Rickon, even though they were loud and didn’t understand a thing of the world yet. She even missed her sister Arya, who was so unlike her in every way possible and had irritated her daily.

“Are you ready, Princess Sansa?”

Sansa nodded.

Jon’s aunt was her age and absolutely beautiful. Her white hair was braided in a complicated pattern and her blue dress accentuated her curves and shape. For a long time Westeros had been certain that Jon and Daenerys would marry, just like so many Targaryens before them, to keep the blood of the dragon as pure as possible. But to everyone’s surprise, Jon’s father had reached out to Eddard Stark. And when Eddard Stark had asked his eldest daughter if she wanted to marry the future king of Westeros, she hadn’t had to think twice about it.

Right now her sudden answer seemed foolish, stupid and naive. Her father might have promised to find her a good man and he had assured Sansa that he wouldn’t have even asked her if she wanted to marry him if he had not seen for himself that Jon was such a good man. But looks and public behaviour could be deceiving. Who knew what happened behind closed doors? How Jon was towards his family and close friends? He could have been wearing a mask.

Daenerys nodded towards the guard and the giant wooden doors were opened.

The throne room was filled with people. Laughter and chatter thrummed in Sansa’s ears and it was only when a servant announced Princess Daenerys Targaryen and Princess Sansa Stark that a small path was cleared to let the two girls through.

Every pair of eyes followed the red haired beauty from the North and Sansa tried to smile even though her hands were shaking and her knees were trembling. With the tips of her fingers she lifted her skirt up to make sure she wouldn’t trip over the hem. And while everyone in the room tried to catch a glimpse of her, Sansa focussed on the young prince standing next to the throne of his father.

In a way he looked nothing like the princes she had always dreamed of. He wasn’t blond. He didn’t have blue eyes. He wasn’t tall and he didn’t look perfectly groomed. Stubbles covered his chin and cheeks and half of his long black curls was tied into a ponytail. The other half hung loosely around his face as if he hadn’t even attempted to tame them. He had his hands folded on his back and while their glances met she noticed the deep frown on his forehead.

Her heart raced in her chest and adrenaline rushed through her veins. What if Jon actually didn’t want her? What if this was his father’s idea and he was in love with someone else but just couldn’t protest? What if the frown on his forehead was because he didn’t think she was pretty or kind or worth his love and heart?

“Princess Sansa.” Jon stepped forward and he reached for her hand, lifting it up to his lips so he could kiss her knuckles. “I hope your journeys wasn’t too uncomfortable?” He looked up at her and his brown eyes met her blue ones. His hand was still holding hers and she could feel his palm sweating.

Sansa forced her smile to brighten. “How can a journey be unpleasant when it’s leading me to you?”

Jon’s lips curled up slightly. “Will you officially open this ball with me?”

Even if Sansa would have wanted to say no, that answer wasn’t an option, but she answered anyway. “Of course, my prince.”

They didn’t speak while they walked to the dance floor and Jon’s arm slid around her waist. His hold was strong, but not uncomfortable and as soon as the music started he lead her through the dance. His movements were slightly clumsy. A few times he forgot the correct steps and once the tip of his boot touched her ankle. When the music stopped again a relieved sigh escaped from his lips.

“Was it that horrible to dance with me?” Sansa bent her head while Jon lead her back to the throne where his father was seated.

He rapidly shook his head. “Of course not, my lady. I am simply not a good dancer. I am relieved we survived without too many problems. Did I hurt your ankle badly?” He looked at her and Sansa saw the sincere concern in his eyes.

She shook her head. “No, my ankle will be fine, thank you.”

There were a million more things she wanted to ask him. In a few weeks they would get officially married and yet they barely knew anything about the other.

Jon seemed polite and honest and handsome and still he was a total stranger.

“Is it possible to catch some fresh air or would the invited guests be very offended if I would leave for a short while?” Sansa almost mumbled, but Jon offered her his arm.

“I will show you the palace garden. I think all those people will understand that we would like some time apart from all of them.” He winked and Sansa felt her cheeks heating up while she fought the urge to laugh.

The wink didn’t look charming or sexy or invitingly. It looked a little clumsy and yet in a way also adorable.

Prince Jon nodded at every servant they passed. He nodded at the ones who opened doors. He nodded at the ones who stood guard. He nodded at the ones running around with trays filled with drinks or food. If this was a mask, he had mastered it perfectly and he wore it just as beautifully.

Eventually she felt the fresh air touching her cheeks and she let out a deep breath now the deafening silence was surrounding them. “I’m sorry…” She swallowed. “It’s all a little overwhelming. I’m really happy to be here, I promise.”

“I hope so.” Jon lead them to a small bench near some rose bushes. The roses were blooming, but in the moonlight their color wasn’t quite visible. “If you don’t want to marry me, I really don’t want to force you.” His shoulders dropped a little and he seemed to loosen up a little. “I know it’s hard to say no to a king, but I promise that if you do I’ll make sure nothing happens to you.”

Sansa looked at him. She truly looked at him and realized that the prince next to her was in a way just like her. Just a guy, with doubts and worries and wishes and dreams. “I’ve always wanted to marry a prince.”

“Did you just say yes because I’m a prince?” Jon furrowed his eyebrows. “Because I guess then I’ll end up being a disappointment. I know how to play the prince everyone wants to see, but it’s tiring. I just wanna be me. Especially around you. I hope it’s good enough.”

Sansa smiled. “Well, in the last couple of minutes I’ve seen a lot of prince like qualities in you.” She reached for his hand. His hand felt warm in hers and she bit her lip. “The way you noticed everyone, even those who were supposed to be invisible. You telling me that if I didn’t wanna marry you would make sure I didn’t have to.” She chuckled. “The fact that you really can’t wink and yet still look adorable while trying.”

“You’re the first one to call it adorable.” The hesitant smile grew a little brighter. “My sister says it looks stupid and Daenerys says I’ll never get a girl if I don’t learn how to wink properly.”

Sansa rolled her eyes. “You’re Jon Targaryen, prince of Westeros, you don’t have to be afraid of never getting a girl.”

“There was only one I set my mind on.” Jon turned away from her. “I never talked to her, but I saw her long ago when we were just children. She was reading and trying to tell her little sister all about the story, even though said little sister hated everything about it, or pretended to hate it at least.” Jon paused for a moment. “And she was beautiful, the most beautiful girl I had ever seen. And from what I heard, she was intelligent too, even though she tried to hide it.” He licked his lips and he locked his glance with hers again. “I’m glad she said yes when I asked her.”

“Me?” Sansa shook her head. “You’re talking about me? When did we meet?”

“You were only eight and I was visiting Winterfell.”

“I would have remembered that!” Sansa raised her voice. “How could I forget a visit from the king and a prince?”

Jon shrugged. “We didn’t visit as the king and a prince. We just visited as a husband and a son, wanting to see the grave of their wife and mother. We didn’t stay long, but Robb caught me staring at you. He told me everything about you.”

“And you didn’t fall out of love with me?” Sansa blinked a few times.

“On the contrary. He told a lot of good things about you, Sansa. If I hadn’t fallen for you already while watching you, I would have done so after hearing him talk about you.”

A warmth spread through her entire body. “I’m sorry I don’t remember you.”

“That’s okay.” Jon smiled and he shove a little closer towards her. “You said yes when it truly mattered. I know it’s a lot.” He sighed. “Court life isn’t always fun. Sometimes it’s hard and people are always looking and I know we’re still strangers.” He sighed. “But maybe this life won’t be that bad when I can share it with you.”

Sansa smiled and she softly and carefully pecked his stubbled cheek. “I can’t wait to get to know you better until you’re no longer a stranger.” Sansa leaned back. “And I hope that I won’t end up being a disappointment after all those years you must have dreamed of a far better version of me than I can ever be.”

Jon shook his head. “You might be different from the girl I imagined, but only better. I can’t wait to become your friend and much more.”

“Well, I think you’re well on your way already.”