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[qualitygroupusa]

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[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Cradle To Grave: Part One

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~2k

Summary: Your experience in prison isn't what you thought it would be. You're feeling everything and you don't know if you'll be okay when you finally come out of it. Meanwhile, the team notices a change in Spencer as he tries his best not to miss you too much.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Season Five Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

"You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around, and why his parents will always wave back." - Journalist William D. Tammeus

Sunlight shines through the crack in the curtains making you wince. You turn over to avoid the direct stream of light and end up facing Spencer's bare chest. He's still sleeping from the rough night you two had. You two couldn't sleep so you stayed up playing chess and listening to music. You've only got a few hours of sleep and you're already waking up.

There are rare moments in your relationship where you have complete peace and solace, so you take this opportunity to admire your boyfriend's body. He's always been skinny and lean but he has muscles that aren't showy like Derek's are. Freckles dance across his chest that look like constellations the more you look at them. His skin is pale since he doesn't tan much but you've always admired his milky skin.

You reach out and lightly trace the freckles, watching the constellation come to life in front of you. Your eyes move up his chest to his face where he looks the most peaceful. His sharp jawline and high cheekbones look relaxed as he sleeps. This is the only moment in which the world isn't weighing heavily down on Spencer. He is completely free to be whoever he wants at this moment, even if he is asleep.

Spencer stirs in his sleep and opens one eye to look into yours. He smiles at the love you hold in them. He truly is so lucky to know you, to hold you, and to love you. God, he has such a nice smile. You lean up to kiss him but something breaks you out of paradise.

"Rise and shine, inmates!"

You open your eyes and almost cry when you realize that was a dream. Gone is the peaceful morning with Spencer and a dull grey ceiling replaces it. The complaints of other prisoners fill your ears as you try to hold onto the moment you wish you were in. Your bottom lip wobbles as a single tear falls from your eye, but you push your feelings down and get up to start your day.

It's been hard at the BAU without you around. Everyone can feel the lack of your presence but no one is saying anything about it. Hotch is still working privately but he can't do much without Strauss knowing about it. He has to take baby steps no matter how agonizing it feels. Hotch is in JJ's office as they go through the different kinds of files that are piled up on her desk.

"What's next?"

"Baton Rouge thinks they have a white supremacist problem."

"What's your take?"

"Really?"

"Yeah, I'd like to hear it," Hotch nods.

"We're dealing with an individual, not a group."

"Why?"

"The angry letters. The writer switches pronouns from plural to singular. 'We are a heavily armed militia' followed by, 'I will be forced to take action'."

"Good. Send it back to the police with our analysis." Hotch's phone rings and he looks at the message he gets. "Keep up the good work, JJ. Excuse me." He leaves her office to go to his own where Chief Strauss is waiting for him. "Chief Strauss."

"Aaron. We need to talk. Close the door." Hotch sighs silently and closes the door behind him, ready for whatever talking she is about to give him. "I want to talk about Y/N for a second. I've been kept in the loop of her case, and she was denied bail. She is to be in prison awaiting trial. I am here because the board is saying you're partially to blame for this. They said it's the way you've been leading her and this team."

"She didn't do it," Hotch narrows his eyes.

"Regardless, it's giving the board to question your leadership skills. I am terribly sorry about the situation you're in with Foyet, but I am concerned it's hindering your ability to properly lead this team."

"My personal problems and what's happening with Y/N have not and will not affect my ability to lead this team."

"I think it has. I've seen the letters you've sent in about Y/N. You praise her leadership skills and the ability to correctly address a situation. I know you admire her work, but she can't very well be put in your place, now can she?"

"Put in my place?"

"The board wants you to step down as Unit Chief, and to give the job to someone who is willing to do it right. I have other divisions who will greatly benefit from your skills--"

"What if I already have someone else in mind? Yes, I would have liked Y/N to be in my spot eventually, but I believe Derek Morgan will do a phenomenal job at it. He's shown leadership skills and can make tough decisions when no one wants to. Will you allow me to prove it with the case that comes in?"

"Of course," Strauss nods. "I will contact the board about your decision. I'm sorry it has to come this way, but it's for the best."

Hotch can't say anything else and watches her leave. JJ has been watching from the window from the hallway the entire time, but Hotch doesn't see her. He puts his head in his hands and rests his elbows on his desk. Everything is so fucked up right now, he doesn't know how to act or what to think.

"Hotch?" JJ asks and knocks on his door.

"Yes?"

"Is everything okay?"

"Yes, everything is fine. Thank you."

When JJ is gone, Hotch logs into his computer and gathers up some files he knows Derek should look over. He sends them to Derek's work email as soon as he can before the rest of the team shuffles in. Derek's phone blows up as soon as he steps foot in the elevator. Email after email from Hotch has him concerned that something happened. Spencer is already at work by the time he arrives, and Derek sets his jacket over his chair in confusion.

"Reid, did I miss something?"

"What do you mean?"

"Hotch is sending me all kinds of emails."

Spencer logs onto his computer but doesn't have any emails from Hotch.

"Not from me."

Derek sees Hotch in his office so he heads right to the source.

"Hotch, what's so important you couldn't send it to the rest of the team?" Derek asks and holds up his phone.

"I just needed a second pair of eyes."

"I'll review it right now. Just give me an hour."

"That's not necessary."

JJ pops her head in with a nod.

"We're ready." Hotch and Derek meet the rest of the team inside the briefing room. Everyone passes by your chair cautiously knowing you're not going to be there to sit in it. "Kristie Taylor is a runaway drug addict who was reported missing from Farmington, New Mexico three years ago. Yesterday, she turned up on a freeway outside of Rio Rancho."

"She was sexually assaulted based on the ligature marks on her wrists and ankles. She was asphyxiated but the looks of it," Spencer notes.

"Three victims in five years. All the women are connected by marks. He likes chains. He's a definite sexual sadist. He sticks to his type which are blonde sixteen to nineteen year olds."

"He hangs onto them for a while, too," Rossi points out. "There is an average of two years between abducting them and killing them."

"He has a low body count and a long time frame. This guy's in control of his urges."

"Too controlled," Rossi corrects Derek. "Sadists need new victims and new ways to torture. There are a lot of guys out there who like chains. Are we sure this is the same unsub?"

"Kristie's autopsy report also indicates a second connection between these victims," JJ answers. "She was pregnant and had given birth. Very soon after, the unsub killed her."

"How soon after?"

"Minutes."

"This unsub isn't your typical sexual sadist. We usually see captivity and assault. What we haven't seen is this signature, the role he forces these women to fulfill before he kills them. Motherhood. Wheels up in twenty."

Everyone gathers their things but Spencer stays behind until Hotch is one of the only ones left in the briefing room.

"Have you heard anything about Y/N?" He swallows hard.

"Not much that will help. They're being very reserved with this case. They think they have the person who did it. They're not going to want to let her go so easily. They're putting up many fights." Spencer grows worried for you and Hotch touches his shoulder in comfort. "As I said before, I am working privately. I just can't be so open about it."

"Okay," Spencer nods.

The conversation continues when everyone is on the plane headed to New Mexico.

"So, why would a sexual sadist make women carry his children?" Emily asks once everyone is settled in.

"Gary Heidnik kept a harem in a dungeon. His goal was to create a large family as a replacement for his own broken home. Josef Fritzl kept his daughter in a cell in his own house, and they had several kids together. Squalid conditions are part of a control fantasy these men had. If he's keeping these women in a similar location, he'd need a lot of privacy," Spencer explains.

"He probably built it himself. It makes him good with his hands."

"Why blondes, and what significance do they have to him?" Hotch asks.

"Maybe the woman who rejected him or the woman who wouldn't bear his children?" Emily theorizes.

"If that were true, he'd be the same age as these girls--late teens. This unsub is too skilled for that."

"His own mother, then?" JJ adds. "She could be a runaway, just like these victims."

"Which makes his compulsion Psych 101--killing his mother over and over again for giving birth to him."

"Why wait until after she gives birth? Now he has a body and a baby to get rid of," Rossi asks.

"That troubles me, too," Hotch nods. "We found the mothers but not the infants."

"I hate to say this, but what if the women are just a means to an end? What if the babies are really the ones he's exploiting?" Emily wonders.

"If Kristie just surfaced, it means he has her baby right now."

"JJ, check with the parents and see if there are any similarities in the runaways' patterns and where the unsub's finding them. Reid and Prentiss, go to the latest dump site. We need to look at victimology. How he treats these women in the final moments of their lives might tell us what he's doing to the children."

When the plane lands, Derek, Rossi, and Hotch head over to the ME's office to look at Kristie's body. She is the only victim to have surfaced, so she is the only one who can provide answers if the unsub was careless.

"Doctor, you wrote in your report that Kristie had had several miscarriages. How was that evident?" Hotch asks.

"There were a number of abrasions in her uterine lining. Around the third trimester, her water would break."

"She never carried them to term?"

"Last time, she did. There was a high level of pitocin in her blood. It's an artificial hormone. You give it to induce labor."

"She was on a tight schedule, then. If she lost the baby, he would get her pregnant again immediately."

"Childbirth is tough enough. Imagine if your life depends upon it," Rossi scoffs.

"All three moms had records with drug abuse and drunk and disorderlies. What's more interesting is what he does after he kidnaps them. This is Kristie two weeks before she was abducted."

Derek shows a picture of what Kristie looked like, and compared to her body now, she was taken care of. Before, she looked like a drug addict who was homeless but her body now, albeit dead, looks a lot healthier.

"He got her healthy, well-fed, and off the drugs."

Rossi grabs the file on her and flips through the papers.

"Not completely. What are these drugs in Kristie's system?"

"Tamoxifen, Metoclopramide, Domperidone, and Progesterone. They're all prenatal meditation. The first two help carry the baby to term, and the last two help with lactation."

"What kind of sexual sadist gives his victims prenatal drugs?" Hotch asks.

"The kind who takes care of the kids he's having. He gets his rocks off killing the moms, but the babies he protects."

"You think he's keeping them?" Hotch asks Rossi.

"Yeah. If he despises the moms, he'd despise their children. New Mexico is right on the border with a lot of human trafficking going on. He could be breeding."

"Call Child Protection Services. We need to find out about existing black markets for infants."

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[lboogie1906]

Shalanda Delores Young (August 29, 1971) is a US policy advisor who is the first African American woman to serve as Director of the US Office of Management and Budget. She served as Deputy Director from March 24, 2021 - March 17, 2022, and before that as chief of staff of the House of Representatives Appropriations Committee. The Senate confirmed her to this Cabinet position with bipartisan support in March 2022. Her confirmation makes her the fifth African American woman appointed to President Biden’s Cabinet.

She, a native of Baton Rouge, grew up in Clinton, Louisiana. She earned a BA from Loyola University New Orleans and an MΑ of Health Administration from Tulane University. She moved to DC, where she worked as a Presidential Management Fellow at the National Institutes of Health. She was the first African American woman to serve as chief of staff on the House Appropriations Committee and received bipartisan praise for her work in that role. She served on the committee for more than 14 years and took over as chief of staff in 2017.

She was involved in drafting proposals related to the 2018-2019 federal government shutdown and the federal government’s response to the COVID-19 pandemic. She was responsible for $1.3 trillion in annual appropriations legislation, disaster relief, and “important aspects of COVID-19 spending,” according to the White House.

She promotes two principles that guide the way OMB and the Biden Administration approach Federal spending. The first is to ensure that the federal government is making the right investments. As a new mother, who gave birth to her daughter in October 2021, she is interested in child care and supporting families. The second issue, she said, is fiscal responsibility. She pointed out that the Biden administration has proposed ways to fund its new spending proposals and said this is the “right fiscal and economic” approach. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence #alphakappaalpha

[dwellordream]

“Southern women zealously supported the southern cause of independence. A Georgia woman wrote her local newspaper, ‘I feel a new life within me, and my ambition aims at nothing higher than to become an ingenious, economical, industrious housekeeper, and an independent Southern woman.’ Throughout the South, women urged their menfolk to enlist in the Confederate military. A Selma, Alabama, woman even broke off her engagement when her fiance failed to enlist. She sent him a skirt and pantaloons with a note attached: ‘Wear these or volunteer.’

Up North, women also showed passionate support--for the Union. Shortly after the war began, Louisa May Alcott, who later wrote the novel Little Women, confided in her diary, ‘I long to be a man; but as I can’t fight, I will content myself with working for those who can.’ Harriet Beecher Stowe called the Union effort a ‘cause to die for,’ and a woman in New York declared, ‘It seems as if we never were alive till now; never had a country till now.’ As their husbands and sons drilled and marched and prepared for battle in opposing armies, women of the North and South swung into action.

…Women also took over the work of men who had gone off to fight. Across the North and South, women took charge of family farms and plantations as their men battled in Antietam or Chancellorsville or Gettysburg--or lay languishing in makeshift army hospitals or military prisons. Some women despaired at the enormous responsibilities of planting, plowing, and running a farm, but other women met the challenge head on--and discovered new strengths and abilities in the process. Sarah Morgan of Baton Rouge, Louisiana, marveled at how much she accomplished in one day--’empty a dirty hearth, dust, move heavy weights, make myself generally useful and dirty, and all this thanks to the Yankees.’

Throughout the North, scores of women worked in government offices for the first time to replace male clerks who had enlisted in the Union army. They worked as clerks and copyists, copying speeches and documents for government records. They also became postal employees and worked in the Treasury Department cutting apart long sheets of paper money and counting currency. Salaries ranged from $500 to $900 a year by 1865. Although this was more than what most female employees made at the time, women still earned half of what men earned for the same work.

…As the Union armies advanced deeper into the South, capturing Confederate territory and liberating slaves in the process, hundreds of black and white women, mostly in their 20s, followed closely behind to teach the former slaves, many of whom were illiterate. Women risked danger and hardship--and sometimes their families’ disapproval--to venture South. They went under the auspices of American Missionary Society, the Pennsylvania Freedmen’s Relief Association, and other agencies that recruited teachers and paid their monthly wages of $10 to $12.

Teachers admired their students�� eagerness to learn. ‘It is a great happiness to teach them,’ Charlotte Forten, a black woman who taught in the Sea Islands off of South Carolina, wrote a friend in November 1862. ‘I wish some of those persons at the North who say the race is hopelessly and naturally inferior, could see the readiness with which these children, so long oppressed and deprived of every privilege, learn and understand.’ Adult ex-slaves, too, were willing students. Of one of her grown-up students, Forten remarked, ‘I never saw anyone so determined to learn.’

…About 400 women disguised themselves as Union or Confederate soldiers and fought in the war. With the proper attire, some could easily pass for being a man. Women enlisted for a variety of reasons--some believed in the cause so deeply that they would not let being a woman stop them from fighting as soldiers. Others craved adventure or could not bear to be apart from husbands or other loved ones who had joined the army. No doubt some women were killed in battle and went to their graves with their true identities concealed.

Other women soldiers were forced to reveal their secret when they were wounded. A female Union soldier, wounded in the battle of Chickamauga in Tennessee, was captured by Confederate troops and returned to the Union side with a note: ‘As the Confederates do not use women in the war, this woman, wounded in battle, is returned to you.’ When a Union nurse asked her why she had joined the army, she replied, ‘I thought I’d like camp life, and I did.’

…In 1863, women in New York City went on a rampage. In the South, women had rioted for food; in New York, they joined men, mostly Irish, who were protesting against a federal provision that allowed draftees to hire substitutes. The protest quickly erupted into a riot against the city’s blacks. The protestors, who feared competition from black workers, resented being drafted to fight a war for the slave’s freedom. Even more so, they resented upper-class Yankee Protestants who could afford to pay substitutes $300 to fight in their places.

Over four days, rioters looted stores and beat innocent blacks. Angry mobs lynched about six blacks, destroyed the dwellings where blacks lived, and burned down the Colored Orphan Asylum. They also set fire to several businesses that employed blacks and destroyed the homes of prominent Republicans and abolitionists. Women took part in the plunder, venting their rage at a government and a war that sacrificed their men and impoverished their lives.”

- Harriet Sigerman, “‘I Am Needed Here’: Women at War.” in An Unfinished Battle: American Women, 1848-1865

[bibliophileiz]

I just finished a book called The Queens of Animation by Nathalia Holt, about women animators at the Walt Disney Studio. I cannot believe the shit I found out.

(Hopefully I got this all correct, I was listening to an audiobook instead of reading a hard copy, so I can't consult it for name spellings and the like. I'm relying on Google, and well, we know how that goes sometimes.)

Some things I learned from this book. -Walt Disney became a personal champion of women in the animation department, arguing not just that they were as talented as men but that they could bring something to storytelling that men could not. After his death, the number of women in the animation and story departments plummeted, along with the animation department itself. -But he also paid women way less. (Except Mary Blair.)

Not just women, but many animators had a hard time getting on-screen credit for their work. This was one of the issues that led to a massive strike in 1941 that tore the department in two, temporarily shut down the studio, and resulted in a lot of people, both union and non-union, losing their jobs when it finally reopened.

On the rare occasion women did get credit, they were sometimes ignored by reviewers.

The second woman to be hired to the animation department, Grace Huntington, was a pilot who held multiple speed and altitude records. She eventually quit the studio with the hopes of getting a full time aviation job, but died young of TB before her career could take off.

Traditional animation is apparently a terrible way to make money. Only a handful of the early animated feature-length films made more at the box office than it took to make them.

Women animators were drawing things for The Little Mermaid and Beauty and the Beast as early as the 1930s.

Men thought drawing fairies was unmanly, so the fairy sequence set to Nutcracker music in Fantasia was drawn and directed entirely by women.

While the women animators were doing that, the men drew super gross racist and sexist centaurs to Beethoven music, and the reviewers all hated it. (Essentially they were like HOW COULD YOU DO THAT TO BEETHOVEN.) - Generally, male animators tended to like slapstick comedy in their cartoons, while women tended to be more about storytelling and character development.

Obviously there were exceptions to that rule, like Walt Disney and Mark Davis.

Disney hired an LSU professor to write Song of the South. When everyone pointed out to him this was a terrible idea, he hired a Communist Jew from New York as co-writer for "balance."

This went about as well as you'd expect.

When the LSU professor demanded his co-writer get taken off the script, Disney replaced him with another "progressive" white guy.

Apparently he never considered hiring an African-American writer.

Literally everyone, including the studio's legal team, told him not to make this movie, much less hire a white guy from Baton Rouge to write it.

The lead actor James Baskett, who won an Honorary Academy Award for the role, couldn't go to the premiere because it was held in Atlanta.

Meanwhile, the Communist got put on Cinderella. He interpreted the story as a worker rising up against her oppressors.

This is also known as the correct way to interpret Cinderella.

Apparently the writer (so sorry, I'm forgetting his name) included a "violent" scene in which Cinderella goes after her stepmother and stepsisters.

I have no more details than that, but apparently the other animators made him take it out.

I'm now just picturing Cinderella stalking around her house with a raised butcher knife in her hand like in "Psycho."

Artist Mary Blair was art director for many of the classic Disney movies, including Cinderella and Alice in Wonderland. Disney loved her work so much that when she had to move to Long Island for her husband's job, Disney let her work remotely and fly back and forth from New York to Los Angeles.

She was responsible for the rich colors and design choices in the princess movies. She resigned part way through "Sleeping Beauty" but the art director after her used her designs for Maleficent.

Her husband, Lee Blair, was also an animator for the studio before he left to fight in World War II. He was apparently extremely jealous of Mary's artistic talent, and when he returned from Europe, he moved the family to Long Island, became an alcoholic, and started abusing her and later their children. Mary didn't feel she could go to Walt, or any of her other friends at the studio like Retta Scott and Mark and Alice Davis, because domestic violence and divorce were so taboo back then.

Even after the move, Disney let her work remotely, and she spent a lot of time flying between New York and Los Angeles. She eventually resigned hoping to work on her marriage (this didn't really work, though her husband did eventually start going to AA meetings after spending a year in jail for drunk driving) but was later rehired to help design the It's A Small World ride.

Everyone who worked on that ride hated the song btw.

The men apparently got over the idea of drawing fairies making their balls fall off or something by the time they were making Peter Pan, but one of them still asked why Tinker Bell "had to be so naughty".

101 Dalmations was the first animated film to be made using Xerox technology, which decimated the studio's female-dominated ink and paint department (their job was to trace over the animators' work). The Xerox machines could only make black and white at first, which is why so much of that movie is so colorless compared to the earlier Disney films Mary Blair worked on.

The silver lining was everyone got to play with puppies while they were making it because Disney ordered a whole bunch of them to just be there in the studio for the animators to draw.

Speaking of cute animals, the Burbank lot was home to a bunch of stray cats. Disney liked them being there because they hunted mice, so he didn't like when employees fed them.

Disney hated 101 Dalmations, because of the Xerox machines, but it made more of a profit than any of his previous films, because of the Xerox machines.

Julie Andrews originally turned down the role of Mary Poppins because she was pregnant, and Disney promised to wait on her. (Joss Whedon, take notes.)

After Walt died of lung cancer, the animation department was nearly killed and pretty much stopped hiring women. Mary Blair, who had been almost as influential to Disney's art as Walt, was edged out and by the time new animators started working on the Disney Renaissance films, they didn't even know who she was.

Many of the women who left the studio went on to work for Little Golden Books and other children's book publishing companies.

One of the few women animators at the company at this time, Heidi Guedel, who drew Tigger, left with Don Bluth when he departed to form his own company in 1979.

When The Little Mermaid was in production, there was only one woman animator--she may have been the only woman in the entire story department, I don't remember.

Disney then began hiring more women animators at the directive of then-Disney CEO Mike Eisner and head of animation Jeffrey Katzenberg.

One of the women screenwriters working on Beauty and the Beast (I think Linda Woolverton, but it may have been Brenda Chapman) wrote a scene in which Belle puts pins on a map showing where all she hopes to travel.

The animators changed the scene in the storyboards so that Belle is in the kitchen making a cake instead. When the screenwriter saw it, she apparently raged BELLE DOES NOT MAKE CAKES!

Pixar at this time had no women in its animation department.

Brenda Chapman became the first woman to win an Academy Award for Best Animated Feature Film for Brave. During her acceptance speech, she talked about her daughter Emma.

When making Frozen, Disney held a "sister summit" of women discussing their relationships with their sisters and other women. Men at the summit were not allowed to speak.

btw Brenda Chapman also worked on The Prince of Egypt. (I did not learn this from the book, I learned it just now while looking her up on imdb.)

If I have had a very bad day, and am very tired, then the mere mention of Howard Ashman's name will make me break down in tears.

[whitesinhistory]

On July 6, 2016, 32-year-old Philando Castile was shot and killed by Jeronimo Yanez, a St. Anthony police officer, during a traffic stop for a broken taillight in Falcon Heights, Minnesota. Mr. Castile, who had a legally registered gun and a lawful permit to carry the weapon, was shot multiple times from close range while inside the car with his fiancée, Diamond Reynolds, and her four-year-old daughter. Officer Yanez's reckless and deadly actions soon became yet another rallying cry among ongoing outrage and protests regarding police brutality against the African American community.

Later investigation revealed that Officer Yanez initiated the traffic stop that day as a pretext to check Mr. Castile's and Ms. Reynolds's identifications. In police dispatch audio recordings, he can be heard saying, “The two occupants just look like people that were involved in a robbery. The driver looks more like one of our suspects, just because of the wide-set nose. I couldn’t get a good look at the passenger.”

At the start of the stop, Officer Yanez asked Mr. Castile if he had a weapon. Mr. Castile responded that he did have a gun and a valid permit, located in his wallet. When Mr. Castile moved to retrieve the items, Officer Yanez ordered him to keep his hands on the wheel; as Mr. Castile complied and moved his hands back up to place them on the steering wheel, Officer Yanez fired at least four shots into the open car window, striking Mr. Castile in the chest and endangering Ms. Reynolds and her young child.

Ms. Reynolds used her cell phone to broadcast a live stream of the aftermath on social media. In the tragic footage, Mr. Castile sits wounded and slumped over in the driver's seat as Officer Yanez barks orders at him and a little girl tries to console her shocked mother from the back seat.

Police who arrived at the scene following the shooting rendered no medical aid to Mr. Castile as he bled to death, instead comforting the crying police officer who had killed him. Mr. Castile died at the hospital 20 minutes after the shooting, and Officer Yanez was placed on medical leave pending an investigation.

Philando Castile was shot and killed less than 24 hours after the videotaped fatal police shooting of Alton Sterling in Baton Rouge, Louisiana. His death added to national protests and also generated local demonstrations, in which community members joined to mourn his death and praise his contributions as a kind and inspirational elementary school employee.

In the years before his death at the hands of police, Mr. Castile had been stopped for minor traffic violations at least 52 times—approximately every four months. These stops resulted in 86 issued violations, most of which were dismissed, and cost Mr. Castile over $6,500 in fees and fines.

In June 2017, Officer Yanez was tried and acquitted of all charges related to Philando Castile's death. “He didn’t deserve to die the way he did," Philando Castile's tearful sister told reporters after the verdict. "I will never have faith in the system.” Weeks later, Officer Yanez was fired from the St. Anthony, Minnesota, police force.

[forthosebefore]

Cathay Williams, first African-American woman to serve in the U.S. Army

November 15, 1866: Cathay Williams became the first African American woman to serve in the U.S. Army, and the only woman to serve in the U.S. Army as a Buffalo Soldier.

Williams was born to an enslaved mother and a free father in Independence, Missouri in 1844. At 17 years old, Williams first served as an Army cook and a washerwoman. During this time, African Americans who had been captured were forced to serve in military support as contraband for Union forces. Williams enlisted in the U.S. Regular Army under the false name “William Cathay” on November 15, 1866. She was assigned to the 38th U.S. infantry Regiment, one of the all-black regiments recently established, that would become part of the renown Buffalo Soldiers. The Army did not require full medical exams at the time, so she was able to pass as a man.

When Williams began to feel the effects of smallpox and was hospitalized, it was discovered that she was actually a woman. Lewis was honorably discharged by her commanding officer, Captain Charles E. Clarke, on October 14, 1868. Following her discharge, Williams went to work as a cook at Fort Union, New Mexico, and later moved to Pueblo, Colorado. Around 1889 or 1890, Williams entered a hospital and applied for disability pension based on her medical service. Her request was denied. In 1893, a doctor’s examination revealed that Willaims suffered from neuralgia and diabetes. She had all her toes amputated and walked with a crutch. The doctor determined that she did not qualify for disability payments. While the exact date of her death is unknown, it is believed that Williams died shortly after she was denied.

Williams’ interview that was published in the St. Louis Daily Times on January 2, 1876:

"My Father a was a freeman, but my mother a slave, belonging to William Johnson, a wealthy farmer who lived at the time I was born near Independence, Jackson county, Missouri. While I was a small girl my master and family moved to Jefferson City. My master died there and when the war broke out and the United States soldiers came to Jefferson City they took me and other colored folks with them to Little Rock. Col. Benton of the 13th army corps was the officer that carried us off. I did not want to go. He wanted me to cook for the officers, but I had always been a house girl and did not know how to cook. I learned to cook after going to Little Rock and was with the army at The Battle of Pea Ridge. Afterwards the command moved over various portions of Arkansas and Louisiana. I saw the soldiers burn lots of cotton and was at Shreveport when the rebel gunboats were captured and burned on Red River. We afterwards went to New Orleans, then by way of the Gulf to Savannah Georgia, then to Macon and other places in the South. Finally I was sent to Washington City and at the time Gen. Sheridan made his raids in the Shenandoah valley I was cook and washwoman for his staff I was sent from Virginia to some place in Iowa and afterwards to Jefferson Barracks, where I remained some time. You will see by this paper that on the 15th day of November 1866 I enlisted in the United States army at St. Louis, in the Thirty-eighth United States Infantry Company A, Capt. Charles E. Clarke commanding. Captain Charles E. Clarke in the Civil War 6th Infantry at the Battle of Baton Rouge. "The regiment I joined wore the Zouave uniform and only two persons, a cousin and a particular friend, members of the regiment, knew that I was a woman. They never 'blowed' on me. They were partly the cause of my joining the army. Another reason was I wanted to make my own living and not be dependent on relations or friends. Soon after I joined the army, I was taken with the small-pox and was sick at a hospital across the river from St. Louis, but as soon as I got well I joined my company in New Mexico. I was as that paper says, I was never put in the guard house, no bayonet was ever put to my back. I carried my musket and did guard and other duties while in the army, but finally I got tired and wanted to get off. I played sick, complained of pains in my side, and rheumatism in my knees. The post surgeon found out I was a woman and I got my discharge. The men all wanted to get rid of me after they found out I was a woman. Some of them acted real bad to me. After leaving the army I went to Pueblo, Colorado, where I made money by cooking and washing. I got married while there, but my husband was no account. He stole my watch and chain, a hundred dollars in money and my team of horses and wagon. I had him arrested and put in jail, and then I came here. I like this town. I know all the good people here, and I expect to get rich yet. I have not got my land warrant. I thought I would wait till the railroad came and then take my land near the depot. Grant owns all this land around here, and it won't cost me anything. I shall never live in the states again. You see I've got a good sewing machine and I get washing to do and clothes to make. I want to get along and not be a burden to my friends or relatives."

Leticia Wright stars in the 2023 film Surrounded. Her character, Moses “Mo” Washington, was modeled after the Cathay Williams. I’m also seeing a bit of Stagecoach Mary in Wright’s character.

Source: Smithsonian's National Museum of African American History and Culture Facebook, National Park Service, YouTube

Visit www.attawellsummer.com/forthosebefore to learn more about Black history and read new blog posts first.

Need a freelance graphic designer or illustrator? Send me an email.

[saintes-rpg]

● FORTY FIVE ● HUMAN ● MALE ● JOURNALIST ●

"Entitlement is a delusion built of self centeredness and laziness."

Biography: Originally from Chicago Alex first moved down to Louisiana for college. The son of a media magnate, it was no surprise that Alex first wanted to get involved with communications, and when he finally settled on journalism, his family was extremely proud. What they weren’t however, was prepared for how entitled Alex was when he finished college. Upon returning home, he assumed his dad would be taking him under his wing and teaching him how to run the company, but his dad, Bryce, had different plans. He had expected Alex to get a job within the company and work his way up, making sure he knew every step of the business the way he himself had, but when Alex found that out, he was infuriated. 

It was only through his mother’s intervention that Alex wasn’t completely disinherited, and when he realized no other media companies in Chicago would give him a chance after hearing about his entitlement, he fled back to Louisiana, moving to Baton Rouge. He managed to get an entry level job at a paper, which didn’t pay much, but he still had his parents money, which his mom was still providing him. He worked at the newspaper, but he didn’t really make friends, he looked down on the people around him like he was better than them, and that rubbed people the wrong way. After nearly ten years of living and working in Baton Rouge his parents surprised him by coming down to visit. He showed them all the hard work he had been doing, and when his father offered to take them all out to dinner, Alex assumed this would be the point where his dad was going to offer to take him under Bryce’s wing, and let him take over the company, but as the evening went on and there was no mention of it, Alex got more and more mad. The anger came to a boil when Bryce commented on the sale of the company, and Alex was infuriated to find out that Bryce had sold the company for a huge profit. When Alex demanded to know what was going to happen to him, his father assured Alex that he wasn’t forgotten about. He had an account full of money put aside for Alex, for the future. 

Alex, infuriated at his father for ruining his life long plans, stormed off into the night, and Bryce and Carmen, Alex’s mom, were never heard from again. Alex was investigated closely, but when witnesses said they saw him walk away before his parents disappeared, the investigation ran cold. Alex went back to Chicago to declare his parents dead, but found that all of the money his father had promised him was in a trust that could only be accessed when Alex was an editor of a paper himself. The life insurance on his parents was paid out to other people, and the money that Alex had been getting monthly was no longer coming in. Destitute, he went back to Baton Rouge, and began to pressure his boss into letting him learn under him, letting him be an editor. The boss didn’t go for it, and after awhile got more and more uncomfortable with Alex pressuring him. Alex would harass staff members, trying to act like he was better than them, until he was eventually fired for his behavior. 

Infuriated, he was sure it was a coworker he had been bossing around who got him fired, and he followed them home before grabbing them as they got out of their car and telling them that they had made a terrible mistake. The next day the office got an email saying they were quitting and never coming back. Meanwhile, Alex moved down to New Orleans and began to work at a paper there. He kept his head down, stayed under the radar, but tried his hardest to come up with stories that would impress his bosses. When the great announcement happened, he tried hard to write stories about it, but so many stories were happening all over the world that they were lost in the shuffle. 

When he heard about a city of solely supernatural people, he knew he had to move there, he had to be a journalist, and maybe- just maybe he could impress the world and make editor of that paper, and finally get his inheritance.

Alex is an open character, if you think he looks right for you, feel free to fill out the application and submit it here!

Admin Note: Alex is a character who has a major plot that will affect the entire group, if you're interested in him, please message the main so we can discuss the plot and how best to utilize his character in this major plot.

[qualitygroupusa]

Moving a workplace can be a difficult task. It's the kind of job that appears simple but necessitates ongoing effort behind the scenes. When you hire an office relocation specialist, you're getting more than simply a service to transfer your belongings from point A to point B. You will receive a customized relocation solution that will remove and reassemble all office equipment, fixtures, and furnishings. To know more visit https://qualitygroup-usa.com/a-day-in-the-life-of-office-relocation-specialists/ or call us at (833) 756-0103.

[whitepolaris]

Old State Capitol: The Haunted Castle

Some buildings seem to cry out that they're haunted. Outfitted with turrets, towers, creepy corridors, weirdly sweeping staircases, heavily paneled doors that creak on their hinges, stained-glass windows that turn ordinary daylight into crepuscular gloom, they almost seem to scream, "Haunt me, baby! Haunt me bad!" Every town should have at least one such place-some old pile of overblown architecture that makes you want to whistle out of sheer nervousness when you hustle quickly past it at night.

Louisiana's Old State Capitol is just such place. From a distance it looks like something a kid might build on the beach, but up close it looms threateningly high, with crenellated medieval towers and crossbows slits that bring Robin hood and the Sheriff of Nottingham to mind. Mary Twain considered it the ugliest building on the Mississippi, referring to it as "a little sham castle" and a "pathetic architectural falsehood" and even suggested that it should have been dynamited to put it out of its misery.

We could disagree more. As aficionados of the weird, we think the Old State Capitol is coolness incarnate.

The Spectral Senator

Not only does the Old State Capitol cry out as a hometown haunt, but it actually delivers the ghoulish goods. What's more, the ghost doing the haunting has been identified as Pierre Couvillon, who served as a state representative and senator from Avoyelles Parish from 1934 until 1851. He would likely have remained in government longer, but he died of an apoplectic fit after uncovering yet another layer of corruption among his fellow lawmakers. Unusual for the Robin Hood-like stance he maintained among his colleagues. Couvillon was apparently outraged by how other wealthy politicians used the privileges of office to further enrich themselves. During one of his angry outbursts at his perpetual state of affairs, he fell dead.

But maybe Couvillon never left office. Even during the twenty long years between 1862, when Yankee troops set fire to the building and left it a smoking ruin, and 1882, when repairs and restorations finally began, his tall, glaring figure was sometimes spotted wandering among the blackened walls, keeping an eye on things. When the building reopened to government activity in the 1880s, Pierre was among the members of the senate, sometimes casting a vote from beyond the grave (A time-honored Louisiana tradition). Dead or not, he remained a regular attendee until Gov. Huey Long's skyscraping New State Capitol opening in 1932 and the legislature moved to the north end of downtown Baton Rouge, leaving Pierre behind in the little castle.

For long, security officers started filing reports of alarms going off and motion sensors registering the presence of moving objects during nights when the building had been securely locked down. Tools and small items left in locked rooms began mysteriously disappearing and then reappearing in other parts of the building. Video cameras revealed nothing, but eventually footprints were discovered when some maintenance work in one chamber (the former state senate) had left a fine powdering of plaster dust on the polished floor. The prints led directly to the former desk (surmounted by his portrait) of Senator Couvillon. That was enough proof to make believers out of the Old State Capitol staff.

Rather than call for an exorcist to rid the building of its spectral senator once and for all, they took the opposite approach and decided to capitalize on it. Nowadays, brochures call attention to the cathedral-like interior dome of the main hall, point out the fossils in the marble flooring, describe the intricate brass hardware on all the doors . . . and encourage visitors to keep a sharp lookout for Pierre, the Capitol ghost.

[weather-usa]

Ferocious Francine tears through Louisiana, ripping roofs off buildings and leaving hundreds of thousands without power.

New Orleans recorded wind gusts of 78 and 76 mph, while Dulac saw a gust of 97 mph, and Eugene Island experienced the strongest gust at 105 mph.

Francine was downgraded to a post-tropical cyclone on Thursday after hitting Louisiana’s coast as a powerful Category 2 hurricane on Wednesday, bringing 100-mph winds that tore roofs from buildings and left dozens of residents trapped in their homes by rising floodwaters from torrential rains.

Climate and Average Weather Year Round in 29455 - Johns Island SC:

The eye of Hurricane Francine made landfall at 5 p.m. CT in Terrebonne Parish, sending hurricane-force wind gusts into southern Louisiana near Baton Rouge. Winds swept across the region as Francine approached, made landfall, and moved inland on Wednesday and Thursday. New Orleans recorded gusts of 78 and 76 mph, while Dulac saw a 97-mph gust, and Eugene Island registered the strongest at 105 mph.

Francine’s fierce winds and heavy rainfall have left more than 400,000 utility customers in Louisiana and Mississippi without power.

A rare Flash Flood Emergency was issued Wednesday night for parts of the New Orleans metro, where 0.50 inches of rain fell in just 9 minutes, and 4.5 inches accumulated in only 3 hours, causing life-threatening flooding.

A Louisiana state trooper was injured while clearing downed trees on Interstate 10 when a tree fell and struck the officer. The trooper sustained minor injuries and was treated at a local hospital, according to the Louisiana State Police.

Louis Armstrong New Orleans International Airport (MSY) recorded its second-wettest September day on Wednesday, with 7.33 inches of rainfall, marking the ninth-wettest day overall in the city since 1946.

Ahead of the hurricane's arrival, President Joe Biden approved an emergency declaration for Louisiana.

"After declaring a state of emergency, we have determined that this storm's severity exceeds the capabilities of state and local governments to respond effectively," said Louisiana Gov. Jeff Landry. "Federal assistance is essential to save lives and protect property."

Dozens rescued in Lafourche Parish as floodwaters surge

Torrential rain overwhelmed the region, causing widespread flooding and trapping residents in their homes as the waters rapidly rose.

Lafourche Parish Sheriff Craig Webre reported that over two dozen people, including children, were rescued from the floodwaters.

Deputies responded to calls from trapped residents in Thibodaux, where flooding had blocked escape routes. The residents were safely evacuated and taken to an emergency shelter.

Keith Osborne’s home was among those flooded during Francine’s onslaught.

"Electricity went out at 7 p.m.," Osborne told FOX Weather. "We watched the water rise up the sidewalk, and when it got a foot from the door, it started pouring in through the garage. After that, it was a losing battle.

Osborne recalled losing everything when Hurricane Katrina hit New Orleans in 2005. Weather Forecast For 76262-Roanoke-TX:

https://www.behance.net/gallery/201914157/Weather-Forecast-For-76262-Roanoke-TX

"You just do the best you can," he said. "We’re too old to pack up and move, so we’ll rebuild as best we can and move forward. If we can get another 20 years between storms, I’ll be happy with that."

Power knocked out to half a million across the South

Utility crews are unable to begin repairs or restore power until conditions improve throughout the region.

At the peak of the outages, nearly 500,000 customers across several states were left in the dark, with the majority in Louisiana.

See more:

https://weatherusa.app/zip-code/weather-35083

https://weatherusa.app/zip-code/weather-35085

https://weatherusa.app/zip-code/weather-35087

https://weatherusa.app/zip-code/weather-35089

https://weatherusa.app/zip-code/weather-35091

St. Charles Parish President Matthew Jewell was giving residents important updates on Facebook Live Wednesday night when the power went out.

Weather alerts, including Wind Advisories and Flood Watches, extended as far north as southern Missouri and east to Tennessee as the remnants of the tropical cyclone swept through the South.

Francine became a hurricane on Sept. 10, right at the peak of the 2024 hurricane season when the Atlantic Basin is most active. As Francine moves north and dissipates, the NHC continues to monitor several other systems in the Atlantic.

The Category 2 hurricane caused an estimated $1.5 billion in damages along the Gulf Coast, according to global technology company CoreLogic.

"CoreLogic Hazard HQ Command Central estimates Hurricane Francine's insured wind and storm surge losses to be up to $1.5 billion. These losses include damage to buildings, contents, and business interruptions for residential, commercial, industrial, and agricultural properties," the company reported Thursday. "Most of the modeled losses are concentrated in Louisiana, with Mississippi and Alabama contributing slightly."

[lboogie1906]

Alton Sterling (June 14, 1979 - July 5, 2016) a victim of a police killing, was born in Baton Rouge. He worked as a CD vendor and had five children. He was known by residents as someone who loved to cook for everyone at the shelter.

Police received an anonymous tip that a man in a red shirt was selling CDs outside a grocery store and threatening another individual with a gun. They confronted him, forcing him to the ground and pinning him down by kneeling on his chest and thigh. Officer Blane Salamoni claimed Sterling was reaching in his pocket for a gun, and fired six shots at close range. He was pronounced dead from multiple gunshot wounds to the chest and back by EMS staff who arrived on the scene.

According to the witness videos, he did not pull a gun or threaten the officers. The bodycam footage of the officer who shot him shows that seconds after Salamoni came to the aid of another officer, Howie Lake, who was in the process of trying to restrain him, Salamoni drew his gun and threatened to shoot him if he moved. The store’s owner, Abdullah Muflahi, confirmed that he, known in Baton Rouge as “CD Man,” had begun carrying a gun only a few days before the incident, citing recent robberies of other CD vendors.

The Department of Justice opened a civil rights investigation on July 7, 2016, and announced on May 2, 2017, that it would not file charges against officers Lake and Salamoni, Louisiana Attorney General Jeff Landry announced in March 2018, after reviewing the evidence, that no charges would be filed against the officers because they had acted “reasonably and justifiably.” On March 30, 2018, Officer Salamoni was fired for violating the use of force policy, and Officer Lake was suspended for three days for losing his temper.

In 2021, his family accepted a $4.5 million settlement with the City of Baton Rouge. He is survived by his five children, his aunt, Sandra Sterling, the mother of three of his children; Andricka Williams; and other family members. #africanhistory365 #africanexcellence #blm

[techqrt-support]

Angel Reese updates | Angel Reese basketball journey

Gather ‘round, sports fans and comedy enthusiasts! It’s time to dive into the life of Angel Reese, the basketball sensation who’s got more moves than a chess grandmaster on a caffeine binge. Prepare for a tale so inspiring, it’ll make you want to dunk on your boss (Disclaimer: please don’t actually do this, HR frowns upon workplace slam dunks).

Baltimore’s Gift to Basketball (Sorry, Crab Cakes!)

Picture this: It’s 2002 in Baltimore. While most babies are busy mastering the art of drooling, little Angel Reese is already planning her basketball domination. Legend has it, her first word was “rebound,” and her pacifier was shaped like a miniature basketball. Okay, I made that up, but wouldn’t it be adorable?

Growing up, Angel quickly realized she had a talent for basketball that was more rare than a unicorn riding a rainbow. While the rest of us were tripping over our own shoelaces, she was already breaking ankles on the court. It’s enough to make you feel bad about yourself, but don’t worry — we can’t all be basketball prodigies. Some of us have to be the comic relief!

LSU: Where Tigers Roar and Angel Soars

In 2022, Angel transferred to Louisiana State University, turning Baton Rouge into her personal playground faster than you can say “gumbo.” She earned the nickname “Bayou Barbie,” which is ironic because:

She’s got more fire than a hot sauce factory

Her skills are anything but plastic

Unlike Barbie, she doesn’t need Ken — she’s got championships instead!

Now, I tried to channel my inner Bayou Barbie at my local YMCA game. Let’s just say, my “fierce catwalk” down the court resulted in more tripping than strutting, and my trash talk sounded more like a motivational speech gone wrong. “You can’t guard me… but please be gentle, I bruise easily!”. Want to know more about Angel Reese biography and highlights?

The National Championship: Cinderella Story Meets WWE Smackdown(Angel Reese achievements)

2023 was the year Angel led the LSU Tigers to their first national championship in women’s basketball. It was like watching a mashup of “Hoosiers” and “The Avengers,” with Angel as the basketball-wielding superhero we didn’t know we needed.

During the championship game, Angel famously taunted Iowa’s Caitlin Clark with John Cena’s “You can’t see me” gesture. The crowd went wild! The internet exploded! My grandmother called to ask if John Cena was now playing women’s basketball! It was CHAOS!

Inspired by this, I tried to bring some of that spicy energy to my office. Pro tip: Doing the “You can’t see me” gesture during a performance review doesn’t make you invisible to your boss. Who knew?

Off the Court: The Queen of Everything(Angel Reese updates)

When she’s not busy making opponents question their career choices, Angel is:

A social media empress (her Instagram game is stronger than my coffee on Monday morning)

A fashion icon (making the rest of us look like we got dressed in a tornado)

A vocal advocate for social justice (using her platform more effectively than I use my gym membership)

She’s not just changing the game; she’s rewriting the whole dang rulebook of life. And here I am, still trying to figure out how to fold a fitted sheet.

The Angel Reese Effect: Emotions, Dreams, and Lots of Memes(Angel Reese interview)

Angel Reese isn’t just a basketball player; she’s a movement. She’s the embodiment of confidence, skill, and unapologetic self-expression. She makes you believe that you, too, can conquer the world — or at least finally beat your dad at one-on-one.

Her journey from Baltimore to basketball royalty is more emotional than watching all the Pixar movies back-to-back. It’s a story of perseverance, passion, and the power of believing in yourself (and having a mean jump shot doesn’t hurt either).

So, the next time life’s got you down, just think: What would Angel Reese do? Square up, set your sights on your goals, and remember — even if you miss, you’ll probably get the rebound. And if not, there’s always interpretive dance as a backup career. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience here!

[sincelastsession]

This Doctor I follow has a ton of really good information much I'm sure you know about.

This is like 99% relatable to what I experience.

Currently I'm in bed but I can't relax my muscles because I'm clearly in a weird mix hypervigiliant state.

I'm still too scared to leave my apartment and I'm still too afraid to come home to my apartment if I'm dragged places.

It's been quiet so far since the officer came out and took pictures of the damage.

I can't afford the camera and I was told I shouldn't need one by my dad and he has this bright idea to call my property management ppl and bother my ancient Indian landlord who is in Texas which I mean. I spoke to them once before and I just got asked if I wanted to terminate the lease.

I've found places to live in my parents budget. One place is just a shotgun with no heating or dishwasher or laundry but it's under 800 and big with a 500allowance to paint if I wish. It's on Lemonwood.

Then there's places on corporate that have a downstairs and upstairs bedroom that are a bit more but currently I have a friend trying to find a place.

She's looking at income restricted and I have too but the income restricted places are all worse than here for my mental and physical health. I read all the ratings and if I rented a small house in a area that my parents didn't like I could always foster a dog again and revolve my life with that for a reset. I could put cameras up. I could get a safe. I can but plug in heaters or something idfk.

The other places under 1k are scattered in areas that are 2hr drives to baton rouge.

I considered a place in Spanish Town that was perfect but my father was quick to say no to the area and had a massive tantrum abt the price.

The thing is I ofc want to be financially stable and I don't think it's impossible, I just don't know how I'll work from home and make enough on my own hours because that's the kind of job I need.

But first I know I have many things to work on before anything can happen.

It hurts so much having my parents promise to get me outta her by next end of July or August and then my dad laughing at me saying "MUCH LONGER THAN THAT"

I was told it wasn't bullshit this time.

They both promised me they care and want to move me asap. I have doctors notes just because of the stairs and c-PTSD.

My psychiatrist doesn't want me anywhere near here because he's apparently had other patients that are VA ppl that were having issues because of the bullshit that happens.

Like I'm considering bringing a dog from CAABR for a short term socialization rest from the pound so they get better kennel presence and training and are more likely to be adopted or taken on transport to a no kill.

It wouldn't be long term so I can literally just say I'm a foster and return the dog if there's an issue.

When I had my first foster Arlo I was on a schedule despite the fact I hated it but I was at the dog park and training and dropping off at dog daycare and the foster house like a mom with a kid. That was a good pain in the ass. I wish he had been a foster fail. I'd have kept him. I had him knowing 10 commands at 8 months. He was such a smart puppy and very protective of me. CAABR paid for mostly everything.

If I didn't have the stairs problem I'd go pull a dog tomorrow.

My cats don't alert as much.

I really am exhausted.

My partner has been having a hard time but it's upsetting me that I've had to lose sleep and care for him too and he hasn't given me a chance to tell him what's been happening to me.

He's just depressed and anxious and drinking and I can't do fuck about his pain other than to be loving and kind which we all need.

I'm dealing with the fucking Jerry Springer show, hitting nonverbal, having meltdowns and ptsd episodes. Not eating very well or at all. Scouring the internet for places to move. Having fucking heart issues that SUCK. Probably ye Ole broken heart syndrome or something like it Probably due to stress. Sat on the curb of the most dangerous wafflehouse parking lot to escape my mother who blamed me for her 600× sugars. My father is being a tyrant. My sister verbatim was screaming on the phone at my dad like an asshole and he was like "ok sweetie ill fix it when I get home LOVE YOUUUU" annnnd he says he sounds a certain way and won't change but he spoke to her like a princess then turned around and spoke to me like I was shit.

Like my partner has no fucking clue how stressed I am.

Oh no but his fee fees are hurt because no one that loves him checked on him. WHO AM I THEN WHO THE FUCK HAVE I BEEN FOR THE LAST 6 YEARS FUCKING ASSSSSSHOLE.

So it's easier to talk to me instead of the ppl he's putting on a charade for there...yet he can't be as vulnerable with me as he wants. Then he bitches about wanting to marry his other married partner and dude fuck him rn.

I've stuck with his ass a long time but absolutely fuck this shit. I'm not breaking it off but I'm mad as hell.

Like obviously till he gets over his shit I'll just fucking go back to how I used to be.

Little to no friends, stuck inside, zero help, only called when it benefits others. I'll just ROT here. Fuck em all tbh.

Like why did my ex send me a picture and video of his stand up routine and I just couldn't talk at that point in time and I asked him you know I wanna catch up soon I'm having non verbal issues and showed him a screen cap of the heart EKG results so he would understand that because his dad works in heart health care With all the heart doctors.

But like why. Yeah I still love him and I am totally available for a partner here And he's probably the only person I would allow to touch me at this point in time.

And then I was supposed to do things with Justin Because it was his birthday but he can't respect my boundaries of I'll message you when I'm feeling up to it he's just messaging me random shit and I don't want to look at it or respond. And I feel bad that I don't want to talk to him even if it is his birthday like I'm not ready to do that I have other things going on and he would trigger me and I'm not going to tell him that he's a trigger because he has wild fucking eyes and I know damn well that those eyes mean something bad. I've been in enough psychfacilities to understand what those eyes mean. There's lots of people that have dead eyes there's lots of people that have manic eyes there's lots of people that have drug users eyes but psychotic and psychosis and certain points in bipolar episode eyes are fucking terrifying and it's not just how his eyes look it's how they look now VS how they used to look when I was younger and there's something very off about him the way that he pushed all the blame on to me and the way that he said he was fine with polyamory and then he had a freak out at me because I forced him to read a book which I damn well did not he said he would be happy to read it and he was excited for us to read it together And he kept pushingToward sex and just fucking Gross.

And my ex-boyfriend who is now sober never once doesn't matter how drunk he was he never forced me or pushed me to have any sort of sexual contact with him if I was anxious or not feeling it. Hey would justRespond with do you want to cuddle let's just cuddle you didn't give me enthusiastic consent let's just sleep or Hey I'll sleep on the fucking floor even though I have a guest room he always would say that but he was drunk and forgot there was another room I suppose. Anyway I mean fuck I mean I would love to talk to him and see if he would be interested but he is doing lots of things with his life and I don't want to trigger him back into alcoholism.

The thing with Matt is I don't mind that he drinks and destroys his body that is his prerogative but when it's affecting my relationship with him that is what pisses me off and usually he keeps it under control and usually he keeps his shit together and goes to therapy and all that and this is just a non linear moment in my relationship because I don't want to give app on it and I don't know where it's going and I can't predict that and everybody questions me about it and Bitches about how long-term relationships are hard they're no harder than an in person relationship in fact I think in person is more difficult.

Then I have a constant influx of people in my Facebook friend request box and I've accepted all of them and I just keep getting creepy dudes messaging me and I'm like I'm not looking for another partner and they don't understand what no means the first time around until you start talking like their mother would yell at them.

And then you get a fuck you fat bitch blah blah blah but you don't have a partner anyway blah blah blah and then I have to block them and it's like I'm not really looking for another partner because Baton Rouge is not really quality material people that would work well with me that I'm aware of. Because the people that hit on me are much much younger than me like to a creepy degree that bothers me. Or it's very old creepy men that you could not pay me to give them sugar. And I'm not looking to just jump into a relationship and fuck somebody they're going to have to fucking wait. I don't work like everybody else mentally. I just don't I don't know how to explain it I try to explain it with information I find online and videos so like people get an idea of what I Go through because I Don't Know how Else to articulate any of it.

It's frustrating because I think that is what gets me misunderstood and then I obviously have a propensity to be hyperverbal and have a very hard time stopping and holding on to thoughts. And we can look at the diagnosis that I have and figure out what's causing what and I know that I mention those things and that is generally compulsive but I'm not trying to like fit the bill. Because I know that many of these conditions overlap and cause the same problems or a cluster fuck of issues and symptoms that could be misdiagnosed for something else which I'm fully aware of but that's what I have in my chart.

I don't like the way that I am so often misinterpreted and I'm tired of trying to adjust myself to please other people even though I understand that this world was not made for people like me and not everyone is going to respond well to just how I speak and I know that I need to work on things but I do not want to minimize the very little things about me That make me myself that I couldn't verbalize to tell you what that is and I still don't know how to explain. I mean it would be like making a gay person straight you can't do that with someone that's autistic you can't make an autistic person alistic. I mean you can send them to all sorts of horrible therapies that fuck them up. And then it's just more therapy they will need after that to function properly. I understand there is some therapy for autism that does not fuck people up and helps people like me learn t you learn cues and how to function in this hell hole.

I'm also fully aware that there are plenty of mostly mentally healthy people that are losing their fucking minds because of the state of the world and probably patients Many therapists all over Baton Rouge and the globe.

Sometimes it's super frustrating because certain things in my brain just don't click into place and I know they're supposed to but I'm just sitting there trying very hard to understand but not understanding and not seeing what other people are saying no matter how hard I try to be aware of it

And then sometimes I'm aware of it and I cannot make myself fucking stop.

It's not for lack of trying.

And then if I was on medication for AD HD that worked then I would probably be a lot easier to talk with. I would probably get more shit done I would probably be a lot more organized I mean I'm a completely different person on that medicine. But I've already explained all of this to you so you're aware that I'm just raw dogging reality aside from anxiety medication And medical marijuana at night for pain reasons or for whatever the fuck I need it for pain and other reasons.

And I do not think that the marijuana or the anxiety medicine is causing me any issues. I don't really feel any different than I did taking it when I was younger. I wish my dose was 4 mg a day and so 3 but obviously I don't want to fuck with my tolerance and I was on 2 mg and now my psychiatrist is making me take all 3 and I hate it because I do want to be more alert and I don't want to be this sedated because it feels really weird.

And when I say it feels weird I mean I know I'm sedated like I'm calmer. Outwardly I am cool as a cucumber.

Inside I'm screaming I'm pounding the fucking walls I am flipping out I am constantly checking my fucking windows like a paranoid person. I'm terrified I am still hyperventilate and not all the time does the medicine actually keep me sedated very long because I'm an ultra fast metabolizer my geneticist ran all those pharmacy genetics testing on me and I'm not just talking about gene site.

She thinks I have some sort of genetic mutation but I won't see her till next Spring likely.

I can't wait to have all of that fucking testing done and over with so I can know exactly what the hell is going on with me that they can read. And then I can take about 50 weights off my fucking back.

[whitesinhistory]

On July 5, 2016, two white police officers in Baton Rouge, Louisiana, responded to reports that an armed man with a red shirt was selling CDs outside of a local convenience store. The officers arrived and confronted Alton Sterling, a 37-year-old Black man; they proceeded to tase him and pin him to the ground. While Mr. Sterling was down and restrained, someone exclaimed, “He’s going for a gun!” and an officer shot him multiple times in the chest and back.

Abdullah Muflahi, the convenience store owner and eyewitness, later stated that Alton Sterling never threatened the officers or wielded the gun. Mr. Muflahi also stated that Mr. Sterling had started carrying a gun only days prior to the event, because other vendors had recently been robbed.

Though officials later stated that both officers' body cameras had become dislodged during the incident, multiple bystanders recorded video of the shooting using their cell phone cameras. That footage, and surveillance video from the convenience store, was quickly distributed to news media outlets and uploaded on social media, allowing millions of people to watch Mr. Sterling's death at the hands of police. The videos consistently show that his arms and hands were fully restrained when he was shot, and he made no movement suggesting a move to grab a weapon.

Alton Sterling’s death, and the discrepancies between police accounts and the video footage, sparked protests all across the country demanding an end to police brutality and the arrest of officers responsible. Within days, the U.S. Justice Department announced that it would launch a civil rights investigation into Mr. Sterling’s death—and in May 2017 reported that the officers would face no federal charges. In March 2018, Louisiana officials announced that no state charges would be filed either. To date, no one has ever been prosecuted for the death of Alton Sterling.

[sgam76]

Many years ago I worked in a building in downtown Baton Rouge that had been part of the state government offices for former governor Huey Long (look him up--he was a piece of work. Eventually ASSASSINATED--no joke). Across the street was an abandoned, once-fancy hotel that was owned by the same people that owned my building, and was in the midst of a (slow) renovation to prep it for sale.

The buildings were connected by a tunnel that ran under the street--Huey Long had supposedly had it built so that he could secretly visit his mistress in the hotel without any prying eyes noticing.

The maintenance guy in our building also acted as a "security guard" of sorts for the vacant hotel. He was TERRIFIED of the place, ever since he saw a man in a "white suit" walk down the hall out of nowhere and then WALK THROUGH THE WALL. This guy had no idea who Huey Long was before I told him about him--including the fact that Huey always wore white linen suits. After that he refused to be in the building alone.

One afternoon he took me and a couple of my folks over to the hotel (not thru the tunnel--we noped out of that part). As we moved to get in the elevator I had a STRONG feeling of disquiet--just Did Not Like It (even though I am the farthest thing from fanciful, honestly). We wandered around abandoned floors for a while--the work crews weren't currently in the building, so it was just us. But I kept hearing someone's radio playing, sometimes louder, sometimes softer. I assumed one of the workers had left it plugged in and turned on.

I mentioned it when we got back to the office--and all of the folks looked at me in confusion. None of them had heard any music. Again, no one in the building. And (here's the kicker) THERE WAS NO POWER anywhere in the building except for the elevator--everything else was turned off.

So where did the music come from, and why was I the only one who heard it?

*"Ghost" should be taken to include other similar paranormal entities such as spirits, ghouls, poltergeists, hauntings, etc.

If you believe ghosts are "real" in the sense that they're a psychological effect in the observer's mind and not paranormal, answer "no, and I don't believe they're real."

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