#office humour

[capybarasatwork]

Find CapybarasAtWork on Facebook, Instagram, tumblr, Twitter, and Webtoons.

[newtonianflux]

This is REAL, found at my workplace!

[reniadeb]

corporate speak is fun! and not at all insane!!!

[veranitoprints]

To Whom It May Concern

When you write an email like this, or in fact receive one, you know it's all about business! :D How many of these have you sent/received in your life?

This print is from Veranito, see it here.

[mikeladano]

#1116: Oh, the Boss is Coming!

RECORD STORE TALES #1116: Oh, the Boss is Coming! Oh, the boss is coming!You better look busy,They’re not paying you for nothing! — ARKELLS If there’s time to lean, There’s time to clean. — THE BOSS AT THE RECORD STORE “The Beat Goes On” They used to call it “fucking the dog”.  I don’t know what vernacular the youth of today use, but that’s what we used to call slacking off on the job:  dog…

[eroticcity]

That almost Friday feeling

[butterflies-fly-forever]

My manager: I’m really sorry to bother you, you look like you’re really concentrating on something but please can you help me go over these numbers?

Me, who’s been playing bubble shooter for the past hour:

[brave003]

Corporate Politics - Skill Rules.

#Home Age prejudices and discrimination happens in every office. The 40 plus Age Prejudice. But Skill rules…. Be update and well up before it’s too late😊🙏 Corporate Politics – Skill Rules. The Art of Imminence. Alive to be Alive. Timeless Damsel in Distress. WordPress

[officehumour]

An un-eventful evening. The bland dinner set on the table. The monotony of the speaker on the boring evening call was setting me off to a comfortable doze.

And, then, something eventful happened! I heard the speaker say something - uh-ah, was it a breakout! Bloody hell, this was not the norm before. The boaring global calls were supposed to be the ones which granted us rights for a short nap - you could tell family that it was an important call, get the spouse on the feed-your-kids dinner plan, and stretch a bit to get some rest. But this is not fair! Who suddenly discovered this new-age model to keep us awake.

In a few seconds, the lady threw us into a zoom-room, and there I was, in a small closed group to discuss - oops, I just forgot to hear what she just said. The bigger task on hand now was to switch the video on, I was just put into the group which had my skip level manager's boss! How to power-dress for Zoom in five seconds makes a good subject for a full blog, but here I was, with the perfection achieved in years, zoom ready in 5 seconds. Suddenly, all the sleep had vanished.

None of the others in the group seemed to know what to discuss either, but we all pretended that we were just there, all ready, and excited to be cracking the world's toughest problem with our brilliant minds. Ah, the brightest mind among us just said - so let us do a quick round of introductions! It was a brilliant idea to patch our collective ignorance!

We introduced. We talked about our cats, our dogs, our children, our holiday interests, and suddenly, in a few minutes, a window popped up. It said - you are being re-directed back to the main room! An aha moment it was!

We were to collectively summarize what we discussed. We went group after group, and by the time our chance arrived, the head of our function proudly re-phrased what all others had said! He said it so confidently that I almost believed we were the brilliant minds behind all that was said by him!

I think, zoom-breakouts were one of the dark discoveries by human-kind to wake people up! Something like an alarm clock. They were the weapon given to the otherwise struggling-for-attention learning and development teams to tell their audience, with an evil-wink, that they have the power to ruin someone's reputation and career. That is the secret reason why they dont publish the agenda up-front - you cannot find some safe spots to catch some sleep!

[worklifegiggles]

The tweet that has induced INSOMNIA in bosses...😲😝

[capybarasatwork]

Find CapybarasAtWork on Facebook, Instagram, tumblr, Twitter, and Webtoons.

[misforgotten2]

The last label one of these ever made read "TRASH BIN OF HISTORY".

Life - December 13, 1963

[ecnmatic]

THE OFFICE (2010) Nepotism - 7x1 dir. Jeffrey Blitz.

[nymphpens]

Catherine Morland:

[weepingfoxfury]

Monday, Monday, Monday and Sean Bean is on the warpath.

"When I say winter is coming, I mean that winter is definitely coming. Do not question my frosty forecast!" shouted Sean.

"Well now, we're still watching the cold front and keeping an eye on its progress and we'll keep you posted" said the Met Office man in a very reasonable manner.

"Must I make myself heard a second and third time? Winter is coming!!" screamed Sean whilst brandishing his sword.

"Heard you the first time" responded the Met Office man in measured tones, casually sharpening his pencil "and we're about to put the kettle on. Will you have tea with us whilst we watch the weather's progress?"

Sean looks fit to burst but then spots the plate of biscuits. "Are those bourbons?" He enquires, edging forwards with eyebrows raised.

"Why yes" said the Met Office man smiling and jiggling the plate in Sean's general direction.

"Then winter can wait" said Sean and settled himself at the table. "Ooh ... and you've got jammy dodgers!"

[forgot-how-catflap-works]

Sitcoms perpetuate “harmful stereotype” of having friends in adulthood, experts insist

Hundreds of experts across the country have signed an open letter stating that friendships portrayed by modern media are damaging the nation’s mental health. 

The letter comes in response to rising concerns from childless layabouts who claim that having friends as an adult should not be an unobtainable fantasy. 

“The whole structure of our late-capitalist hellscape society completely disincentives adulthood friendships,” said Ololade Fren, spokesperson for the adult friendship advocacy group The Friends of Friendship. “Our lives are consumed by work, the cost of living crisis continues to spiral out of control and our wages have stagnated. 

“The desire to maintain and foster friendships stands in direct opposition with a system that wants to bleed us dry. The rancid ghouls that run everthing leverage the vacant, hollow feeling that remains in order to sell you a fucking smart watch by making it look like a fun time with friends.”

But experts have refuted the Friends of Friendship as “naive children”. They claim that television shows and sitcoms in particular promote an “unhealthy and unrealistic expectation” of prioritising joy over meaningless toil. 

“When you watch a television show that features a tightly-knit friendship group, this can trigger what’s known as sitcom lifestyle dysphoria,” says Professor Chad Blokesworth from Brosdown University. 

“This intense discomfort arises from the incongruence between an individual’s perennial loneliness and the feeling that they should have a core friendship group of their own. Not only do they feel this friendship group should have always existed, but it should be able to withstand seismic vibe shifts such as members starting new jobs, going through breakups or having children.”

Since the global financial crisis of 2008 and the subsequent atomisation of society in the social media age, friendships have increasingly moved online. But depictions of friendship in modern media haven’t kept pace with this trend, and it’s causing emotional distress. 

“The freeform antics depicted in television shows reinforce a harmful stereotype that broke millennials and zoomers with emotionally draining, pointless jobs are able to enjoy themselves,” said Dr Winnie Gurlsbrunch, from the Gal Pal Institute. 

“We have to accept that regular, in-person interaction with our friends is simply an outdated cultural standard. It’s long past time that we moved away from this monolithic view of social interactions as something we do in person as a vital part of our mental wellbeing.”

While some thought leaders have suggested that the refocusing of modern sitcoms around workplaces is a positive move, Dr Gurlsbrunch said it creates an unhealthy expectation of having fun at work.

"As each new generation enters the workplace, they are shocked by the grim and soulless nature of modern employment,” she said. "Shows like The Office or Parks and Recreation are creating an unobtainable standard and distorting expectations. It's only making things worse and it needs to stop.”

Loneliness advocates also chipped in, telling Totally Unbiased News that the whole thing is being blown way out of proportion. 

“It’s an issue of entitlement,” said Rupert Sadboi, a loneliness influencer on Instagram with a single digit following that we included in this article because our slavish devotion to being balanced means we report all viewpoints as being equally valid no matter how demented they are.

“I have no friends, so why should anyone else? Human misery is an essential operating requirement for the machine. It needs us to be physically and emotionally isolated from each other in order to function. Therefore we all have a moral duty to fall in line and make that happen. If we don’t, the entire system could collapse, and then who will plunder the earth’s natural resources or uphold its genocidal regimes? The system is working as intended, and I have an Apple Vision Pro, so I think it’s working pretty great.”

The Labour government recently classified friend groups as a “bloated aspiration that cannot be justified in the current economic climate.” 

The Friends of Friendship were met with indifference after calling upon government ministers to realign society with the founding principles of the Labour party by prioritising the needs of working people over racist oligarchs. 

“You are supposed to be working, not having fun,” said Rachel Reeves, Chancellor of the Exchequer from her reinforced machine gun nest at the heart of Westminster. 

“Decades of neoliberalism has left a blackhole in this nation’s finances that successive governments have failed to address. Now that we’re in charge again, it’s about time someone carried on trying basically the same strategy. To attempt anything else would be insane; like allowing transgender women to compete in women's sport or using women's spaces. 

“What it comes down to, ultimately, is that If your nan can’t have a warm home this winter you certainly can’t have any friends. You all have to make sacrifices. It’s called austerity. Look it up.” 

(Inspiration: The Core ‘Friend Group’ Is a Myth—and It’s Making Us Feel Bad About Ourselves)