#offensiveness

[claysworstenemy]

OFFENSIVENESS S2 E16

december 11, 2006.

[billconrad]

Writing an Intimate Scene

    Before people could speak or understand our biological functions, we had intercourse. Over time, people came out of the caves, made clothing, formed societies, built cities, and became civilized. During this transition, the subject of intercourse changed from an essential human utility to a deeply controversial, personal topic that holds a special place in our society.

    Because intercourse is a delicate subject, it is difficult to write about. Society traditionally considers books, magazines, or newspapers that have written intercourse descriptions to be perverse or “dirty.” However, mass media now provides many intimate descriptions and raunchy visual material. This onslaught makes the subject less shocking, but inappropriate material now confronts our children.

    As a father, I have mixed feeling about this (somewhat) recent development. When I was growing up, obtaining any information on the subject was difficult, but now anybody can view an endless amount. This development will make learning about the topic easier for my daughter, but I do not want her to get bombarded by filth.

    For example, we allow our daughter to watch the television program, Family Guy. There are intercourse references in almost every episode. I find it amusing that as we watch television together, she does not react to them. Thus, the “taboo” topic no longer holds the same special place it once did. It has become buried in the noise of everyday life.

    In my second book, Pushed to the Edge of Survival, a romance develops between the two main characters. I thought that writing an intercourse scene would be easy because I knew the plot. Instead, it was an uncomfortable experience because I had never used intimate words in a document meant to be read by the public.

    The scenes I wrote were passionate with intense emotion. I thought I did a great job, but when I completed the first draft and read the result, the intercourse scene shocked me. I had created something too graphic and inappropriate for what I was trying to achieve.

    I toned down the scene to make it more mainstream. But unfortunately, I went too far, and the description became mechanical. Essentially, I had taken out all the good stuff. I edited the scene several times to find a good balance. My goal was not to offend the reader while keeping the passion.

    One of my writing rules I set for myself was to refrain from vulgarity, demeaning descriptions, and four-letter words. I believe this is the dividing line between intercourse and filth. Thus, I used textbook anatomy words.

    Traditional romance books read take a different approach to intimate scenes. They use lofty words to paint an idealistic scene. For example, the male anatomy might be called “his personal area” or a made-up word, “gobble horn.” It is up to the reader to decode these cryptic descriptions. I do not feel this approach helps a reader connect with the passion a character is supposed to express.

    Why? Mass media has educated people, and they are now mature enough to handle the reality of a realistic and tasteful intercourse description. In addition, birth control has turned intercourse into a fun activity instead of a seedy hook-up. This new level of acceptance is why the book 50 Shades of Grey was so popular. But was it a breakthrough book? No. Intercourse descriptions have become mainstream, and books/tv/movies have been heading in this direction for a long time.

    What will the future hold? Unfortunately, mass media has made this intimate topic so mainstream that the impact is nearly gone. Thus, raunchy material is creeping into forbidden places of safety. For older books, the intercourse scene was the apex of the story. Now, it is one event among many. Yet, a few people still consider the topic to be vastly offensive.

    This tiny group caught me off guard. I received harsh reactions to my book and had to remove the intimate scenes in the second edition. As a new author, this hurt, but I cannot afford any negative publicity. I think the change cheapened the characters but also heightened the tension. I suppose that makes for a better overall book. This lesson was important, but I was proud of my original creation.

    The good news is that it is becoming easier to write an intimate scene because there is less pressure to be timid. I have now learned that the trick to preventing negative feedback is to prepare the reader (far in advance) for what kind of book they are about to read.

    You’re the best -Bill

    April 30, 2023

    Hey book lovers, I published three! Please check them out.

    Interviewing Immortality is a psychological thriller about a 500-year-old woman who forces a disgraced author to interview her.

    Pushed to the Edge of Survival is a drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties is a classic spy novel about two hunters discovering that government communications are being recorded and the ensuing FBI investigation.

    These books are available in soft-cover on Amazon and eBook format everywhere.

[justyourgenericidiot]

reblog

[bamsara]

I love blocking people I've never interacted with based off their replies on some random popular post. Wow random user on a post with 50k notes with the worst take ever, I hope I never meet you and will make sure we never do

[notbecauseofvictories]

it's very frustrating that when you do something mature---something that really demonstrates how much you've grown as a human being and adult---no full orchestra immediately appears in your kitchen to play verdi's triumphal march and/or an arrangement of tina turner's "the best" at top volume.

[specialagentartemis]

“Be curious about what you’re writing about” is not stock Common Writing Advice but it really, really should be. There are a lot of written works that fail due to the authors just being obviously incurious about what they are writing about.

[brown-spider]

Hey remember how Noir is an anti-fascist from 1933

[bruciemilf]

“Cass should be Batman” “Dick should be Batman” “Jason should be Batman” the real question is: Who tf would wanna be Batman lmaoo

[random-fun-polls]

There is a way of washing your body where you stand use just a damp wash cloth to clean yourself, and you don’t stand under water or in a bath. Do you call this a:

- top and tail

- pta/ pits tits ass

- dry bath

- other (put in tags pls)

- never heard of this

[robinsgrl]

rafe and his weird girl texts cause weird girl is obviously chronically online but that’s for the twitter post i have planned 😝😝😝

weird girl masterlist

main masterlist

[ninjaspiderjuurouta]

The feed photo from this video tickles me so much. The different expressions between them are just so dramatic

[mossytrashcan]

bitch she might just be the father?????

[billconrad]

Trying to Be Offensive

    I was born with little self-esteem, and building it to the modest amount I have today took great effort. This growth was not achieved naturally; instead, I forced myself to man up, be outgoing, try new activities, go places, talk to people, accept mistakes, gain a voice, date girls, and form my own opinions.

    What is the overall self-esteem improvement between 10-year-old Bill and today’s Bill? He is more confident. What is confidence? One could argue that confidence is managing and encouraging offensive behavior. “I’m right; you’re wrong.” “You overcharged me.” “This is the way we’re going to do things.” Young Bill would have never uttered such bold statements.

    Is it wrong to be offensive? People need to push back in this modern age, or society will squish them. Is the term “you overcharge me” offensive? Let’s review the statement from the receiving perspective. An angry customer is complaining. While the tone may be pleasant, the hostile intent is clear. So, indeed, the statement contains some offense.

    From my mid-twenties on into middle age, I mellowed out. Life is too short to be upset about the little things. I am now a family man who regrets past arrogance, and I try hard to be a pleasant, upstanding individual.

    That is until I start writing. Stories must be larger than life, unrealistic, and controversial. Does this mean they are offensive? No matter what happens, some people will be offended, but a bold story requires offensive elements.

    On the far end of the scale is a light romance with a timid hand-holding scene. “They briefly grasped hands to share their love.” It’s not steamy, but some people could consider this statement radically offensive. “How dare you expose my children to public displays of affection!” This is a valid concern. We must remember that not everybody can handle raw emotion, and people have different values. For example, the Amish certainly would not approve of public affection. Side note. How are Amish babies made? Some hand-holding must be going on.

    My works contain murder, torture, intimate scenes, and underage relationships. To date, I know that four people were offended by my words. Is this bad? I feel deep regret and wish they had not read my books. Did I intend to upset them? Of course not. I tried to write exciting books that everybody enjoyed, but this effort pushed my boundaries far outside my comfort zone. I did so knowing there would be consequences.

    Writing offensive material is not natural or easy for me. When creating such works, I care to be as tasteful as possible. For example, I limit vulgar words to the absolute bare minimum. In addition, I show how a character’s morals became corrupted to justify their offensive behavior and make sure the law catches up with them.

    Yet, my view on this topic is representative of a limited slice of our society. Many people go out of their way to act offensively and are clearly aware of their actions. For example, the television show South Park pushes the limits of society into bold new realms. Their Barbra Streisand episode was particularly mean.

    Let us not forget that life is offensive. Earth has (and will have) wars, slavery, brutality, crime, corruption, bad parents, and inequality. Refusing to write or read about these offensive topics causes readers to repeat past mistakes. For example, letting a dictator take over a country is not a good idea. Why? (Insert fact-filled genocide description here.) That’s why.

    Writing about offensive topics, if often entertaining, educational, and overall, is a positive experience. Take the movie Saving Private Ryan with Tom Hanks. The story is set in WWII and depicts facts mixed with fiction and gory action. What did I think about that movie? I enjoyed every scene. However, my Uncle Al chose not to watch this movie. He even turned away from the movie preview because it reminded him of his time in Vietnam.

    Let’s examine that concept. My late Uncle Al was a big, tough guy. Why would a strong-willed person like him get offended by a trivial movie? The answer does not matter. Al had the right to decide what he liked and did not like. In this case, the movie offended him even though he did not see it.

    What do I say to the people I offended? I can only say that I am sorry. Should I keep apologizing? Should I stop writing? Should I only write fluffy, good material?

    The answer is that I need tougher skin. No matter what I do, I will offend somebody. That’s life. My choice is to move forward. This includes pushing story boundaries even if they might cause problems. Dang that is a hard pill to swallow.

    I must remember that my work has also delighted readers, and they left many excellent reviews that have deeply touched me. Overall, writing has been 30% frustrating and 70% positive. Now, I need to concentrate on making it 71% positive.

    You’re the best -Bill

    January 25, 2025

    Hey, book lovers, I published four. Please check them out:

   Interviewing Immortality. A dramatic first-person psychological thriller that weaves a tale of intrigue, suspense, and self-confrontation.

  �� Pushed to the Edge of Survival. A drama, romance, and science fiction story about two unlikely people surviving a shipwreck and living with the consequences.

    Cable Ties. A slow-burn political thriller that reflects the realities of modern intelligence, law enforcement, department cooperation, and international politics.

    Saving Immortality. Continuing in the first-person psychological thriller genre, James Kimble searches for his former captor to answer his life’s questions.

    These books are available in softcover on Amazon and in eBook format everywhere.

[onenicebugperday]

Leaf blotch miner moth, Caloptilia protiella, Gracillariidae

Photographed at Airlie Beach, Australia by Steve & Alison1

Shared with permission; do not remove credit or re-post!

[sixofclovers]

tecna this one goes out to you specifically