#of the shit that ive witnessed in the past week alone

[jacob-blogs]

This year, Cancer season is eating bitches ALIVE

[vixensbrainrotts]

Committed to you - Manjiro >Mikey< Sano

(part two)

Idea/ prompt: Mikey from the last timeline who wants to propose to us but has no idea how to ask so he ask advices from draken and emma

Vixen's two cents: Hi. I know ive been gone for like 2 weeks, I dont know why but it's been hard writing lately. anyway, thanks a million to @anahryal for giving me this idea whilst I was in the pits of my writers block!!! thanks girl, I can't tell you how much this helped. anyway, REQUESTS ARE OPEN and I advise you to use them! now please enjoy my revival piece!

Mikey has thought every possible thought he could have. He had run through every possible situation, every possible outcome, every possible setting, but damnit why was this so hard? He couldn’t do it. Not for the life of him.

He had browsed millions of travel blogs, pondering about every possible spot on earth to take you for the occasion. He had woken in and out of more jewelry stores in the past month than he had ever in his entire life. He had specifically stood in corner stores, reading the wedding catalogues in the magazine section trying to figure out what the hell he was supposed to do.

None of it helped.

Manjiro wanted it so bad. So so very bad. Every white dress he walked by, he envisioned you in it. Every bakery shop he passed, his eyes flitted up and down the fancy display cakes, pondering whether or not it would be good enough. Any time he woke up next to you, every time he joined you in the shower, every time he watched you cook, the urge to sink to one knee overtook him.

He knew he couldn’t make it that simple though. It was too domestic for him, so little of a gesture. He wanted you to know that he loved you, that he would bring you the moon if you wanted it. He needed you to see just how much he appreciates you for sticking with him through everything, and for that he needs a grand gesture.

However it seemed that nothing he could think of was quite big enough, quite meaningful enough, quite heartfelt enough. He was at the end of his wits. For one and a half months- seven weeks he had been fighting this battle alone.

He had made some progress in that time, having picked the ring because when he picked it up he just felt that this was the one. It was a niche store, and he was initially appalled by the average price of the rings, but decided, ah what the fuck? and entered the store for mostly shits and giggles. He was greeted by an expensive looking elderly gentleman who donned a monocle and silk gloves, clearly the clerk, and clearly an expert. He had the longest, most engaging talk with the man, explaining his situation and his frustrations, to which the man nodded understandingly and told of his own story and experience with marigge.

Seven long weeks he had kept it a secret from everyone, and now he couldn’t take it anymore.

He was just about to throw the towel on this whole thing and say fuck it and give up on this whole marriage thing and just accept that he would never make it, when he remembered that he didnt have to be alone in this. Not at all matter of fact. His best friend married his sister after all. If Ken could do it with the pressure of Shinichiro, Izana AND Mikey breathing down his neck, then surely he could do it too, right?

You were out on a girls night with Hinata, Senju and Yuzuha. Emma would have tagged along normally too, but with the addition of a new-born baby, she decided that it would be best to sit out this time. Either way you were out of the house for the night, and Mikey was left to his own devices. You had left him with a kiss and a home-cooked meal (which he felt bad about leaving behind so he completely stuffed himself before coming here) before he gave Ken a quick heads up over the phone that he was coming over with a VERY important problem.

Thats how he found himself here. Standing in the Kitchen of Emma and Ken‘s flat, hands perched on the counter, looking down at the surface, face in a deep frown. „What’s goin on? What’s the problem?“ Ken asks roughly, leaned on the refrigerator as he eyed his friend. Mikey didnt really respond though.

„What problem?“ Emma‘s voice was hushed as she entered through the kitchen door, pulling the door shut behind her, probably for the sake of the baby. „I dont know.“ Ken responded, rubbing his eyebrows „Ask your brother.“ he sighed as he gestured to Mikey who was still staring down the counter.

“Mikey?!” Emma sounded confused and a little concerned as she turned to look at him, eyes flitting between her brother and her husband. “Did you know he was coming over?”

Ken nodded wordlessly. “Said he needs our help about something.” Emma’s head tilted in question but accepted the fact. “What’s up Mikey?” She asked, approaching him and joining Draken at the other side of the counter.

Mikey didn’t say anything though, instead reaching into his pocket and producing a small, black, silk-encased box. He dropped it onto the table and looked up at the couple in desperation. “How do I do it?”

Ken gasped and felt his lips tug into a smile, happy that finally, finally Mikey was wiping you up (he had told him to do so since they were teens).

Emma slapped her hands over her mouth to muffle a silent scream, beginning to voice up and down on excitement as she realized- her brother was marrying you! She thanked the gods that Mikey fell in love with you because there was no better in-law than her Soulsister.

“Ahhhhh! Oh my goodness Mikey! I’m so happy for you! Can I see? Wow! Oh my god Ken are you seeing this!? He’s proposing! Ah I’m so glad!” Mikey nodded in response and let Emma pick up the box and crack it open, revealing the beautiful white-gold wedding band, encrusted with more diamonds than she could count. Notably, one large diamond sat in the middle of the ring, flanked by two smaller diamonds on each side.

“Oh.” Emma breathed. “Ken why didn’t you ask Manjiro for help when picking my ring?” Emma sounded slightly offended as she spoke, glaring down at the ring.

“Nah nah, don’t get it twisted girl. You told me what ring you wanted, I didn’t have much picking liberty other than the price.” Ken waved his hands in dismissal, brushing off her accusations with a grin still wide on his face. He made his way over to Mikey and clapped a hand on his shoulder, congratulating him for the occasion.

“Good on you man! Finally givin it the push, hah?” Ken was smiling as he searched for Mikey’s eyes, but he didn’t look up. “What’s up with the long face? You’re about to propose dude, you should be over the moon!”

Mikey sighed and shook his head. “I’ve been trying to propose to her for months. Months Ken. I can’t do it. It’s never right.”

The couple halted their celebrations and turned to look at Mikey again, Emma putting down the dainty box as her looks turns to one of concern. “What do you mean?” She fingered at the box as she leaned across the counter.

“It’s… i don’t know. Ken made it look so easy when he proposed to you, and Pah-chin was even more mindless about it! I really want to. I really do, but every time I get close, I chicken out because I get scared or because something isn’t right, and I’m starting to think that it’s better if I just… don’t.” Mikey sighed and cradled his head in his hands, his elbows resting on the counter.

Emma and Ken shared a look, a wordless exchange of worry and empathy. "What kind of proposal were you thinking of? Big? Small? Public? Private?" Emma started, hand rubbing soothingly across her brother's back.

"Big." Mikey mumbled into his hands, remaining hunched over the counter. "Big and public. I wanna make sure that everyone knows, everyone sees, I want them all to know. want them to know how much I love her."

Emma's eyes softened and she suppressed a smile, because all in all, it was cute. She had always known her brother to be big and strong, undefeatable, and most of all unwaverable. Mikey always put up the strong front when really, he was hurt. Vulnerability wasn't something that she was used to seeing from him, which made this moment all the more special.

"Do you want to go somewhere with her?" Ken steps in and asks, an idea arising. Mikey only grunts, a noise of agreement sounding through the room. "Do you know what kind of places she likes?" Ken continues.

Mikey's head slowly raises from the position on the table and he stares forward at the refrigerator. "Europe."

Emma and Ken looked at one another again, sensing that they were getting somewhere. "Then take her on Vacation. You both have that long shared break coming up, don't you? Travel through Europe and when it feels right, ask!" Ken said.

"How do I know when it feels right, though? What if it's not the moment?" Mikey asks, still not entirely convinced. "You'll know. I promise you, you'll know. I knew too and I didn't think I had the stuff to ever get married." Ken reassures again, and this time the two share eye contact, and it takes Draken a lot not to tear up.

Draken took a moment in his mind to look at Mikey. He had stuck by his side since they were kids, through thick and thin it's always been the two if them against the world. And now as he looked at Manjiro he no longer saw the unmatchable delinquent he saw ten years ago, but rather a distinguished person with complex thoughts and emotions. He saw a man that felt, a man that cared and a man that loved in front of him, and he couldn't be prouder.

Ken nodded at Mikey, and Mikey nodded back at him. "Yeah. She'll love it! Thanks, I'll do that! Gosh I don't know what id do without you two.."

"Oh, please propose to her in front of the Eifel Tower! Or the Coliseum! Or on some romantic Bridge in Venice!" Emma swooned and held her hands over her chest, hearts in her eyes.

Mikey smiled at her and nodded again. "I'll try and film it if I can."

-

The rest of the evening was spent with the three of them checking about a thousand booking sites, mapping travel routes and destinations, and the occasional cacophony of laughter which led to a grumpy Ryuguji-baby. Manjiro couldn't wait to go with you, he thought as he sat on one of the armchairs, gently running a thumb over the silk box that sat pretty in his hand.

[near-seth-experience]

Personal vents, dont mind me. I'm really going through it, and tbh I just need to lay everything out on the table. I think it kinda helps me process/ look at the full picture.

Lately, I've been feeling like the people I call my friends don't really give a shit about me. Every time I try to vent in one of our discords, I feel like I get brushed off (kind of like that, "Oh no! Anyway..." meme, tbh), and it's been ongoing for a long time, so I've stopped bothering unless something really gets to me. Recently though I've made it known that I'm struggling pretty badly, ive gone radio-silent and have been isolating, and next to no effort has been made to check on me over the course of the past 2 weeks. The closest thing I have gotten in acknowledgment was a gif or two sent in consolation.

On top of that. Only one person remembered my birthday and sent a message (kind of a bummer considering I keep track of all of theirs and have given gifts to them all over the past two years). The amounts of times I check on them and support them is severely disproportionate to their reciprocation, and I'm really beginning to feel like I'd be better off alone.

a friend-of-a-friend who makes me uncomfortable for multiple reasons was brought into a shared space and now it feels I'm being replaced by them.

I've been unemployed for over a year,

I haven't been on antidepressants or my arthritis medication in over a year,

I can't get a full night's sleep, I struggle to stand up/sit down, and it's even been a challenge lately to pull off a shirt or step my second leg into a pair of pants. My mobility is the worst it's ever been.

My psoriasis is completely out of control, both in terms of surface area and levels of inflammation. I'm constantly scratching my patches and breaking skin, making myself bleed. Seriously, it's this bad:

a collections agency is apparently on my ass now trying to get $4k out of me because last year my specialty pharmacy apparently didn't get paid properly for my arthritis medication through their copay assistance program.

I interviewed for a job on 5/1, was told they'd keep me updated two weeks later, and it's been a month since that, so I'm anxious that this job ghosted me, which really sucks because it's something that I could have done confidently and now I feel hopeless since there doesn't really seem like there's anything in my area that I am physically able to do. (I need an office job with next to no experience required, preferably not customer/public-facing)

My left foot has been swollen since March and my rheumatologist has been hoping that getting me back on the arthritis medication would resolve the issue, but the state's shitty Medicaid isn't wanting to cover it, and the medication manufacturer's support program wants to know info about my family's income to determine my eligibility (but I'm 30... they don't need my family's pay-stubs. Fuck that) so I gotta put my foot down and tell my doc that I'm at my wits end and he just needs to try getting me a different medication because at this rate I'm not gonna get any relief til 2025 at the earliest.

I'm stuck living with Trumpy parents who go to a culty church, and I feel as though I can't speak my mind or refuse their expectations while I'm freeloading under their roof and eating their food.

I made a happy pride tweet earlier in the month that talked about how and why I identify certain ways on a Twitter that's under one of my other anonymous handles away from family, and my sister stalked me, found it, and told me as much. (She's the least bigoted which is a silver lining but I don't share those personal details to family for a reason, so it felt like a huge breach or privacy, and i havent tweeted in two weeks because i dont know if i should block her, change the @, or remake the twitter all together. But it's tied to other stuff... so it's as if it's just... contaminated, i guess?)

I turned 30 and I'm still in the "years without relationship = years alive" crowd so this year's birthday was just another big wave of loneliness and feeling pathetic.

[olderthannetfic]

re: tone tags talk on here.

I have a rant thats been stewing awhile on the subject.

I would be really really careful using these for people and touting them as The Best Way to interact online and The Most Accessible for a few reasons:

People who are not in the know can become more confused, especially with the lesser-known or less obvious ones. It is forcing others to learn an entire new dialect, one they may not have the spoons or memory to use or understand properly. It can cause neurodivergent people MORE stress to have to use them.

Many neurodivergent people (such as myself) find them INCREDIBLY condescending when used on us for fairly obvious things (ex- I like your shirt! /gen looks like 'I think you are such a -insert slur- that you cant understand a statement where the default literal reading is fairly unambiguous, poor little baby cant handle it! Im such a disabled ally!'). This is less so with the original two tone tags /s and /j, but most tone tags have this problem.

Many neurodivergent people (also such as myself) find them to look suspicious like a bottle labeled 'THIS IS NOT POISON' being poured into our drink. It looks like a suspiciously specific denial and messes with paranoia. It also implies any time you say 'your shirt looks cool' without 5 tone tags proclaiming its base meaning of positive, genuine, and serious that when you usually make a statement like that it ISNT those things.

They are NOT screenreader friendly. At all.

People lie with them a lot, and some people have trauma regarding certain circles online using them to fuck with people. Literally just last week I found someone doing the /gen /srs thing with a question whos last post was to a cringe subreddit for the topic. They also view them as get out of jail free cards or ways to get people to farm 'cringe content'. Some of us arent going to trust that at all with VERY GOOD REASON and now the tag is useless.

Many tags have non-obvious meanings, /pos doesnt look like 'positive' it looks like 'piece of shit'.

ASL speakers are going to have a rough time learning tone tags because its more weird english slang no one explains.

Every time anyone criticizes tone tags (or even says so much as 'please dont use them for me its a trigger'), tone tag likers fly off the fucking handle(in my experience) and accuse you of being horrible and evil for not loving them to death, causing them to be associated with performative accommodations that dont do shit and people getting mad when you call them on it for some of us. Im not hyperactive in many spaces that use them and ive witnessed like 5 breakdowns in the past year alone of someone saying 'hey can you not use these for me please?' and the other person loosing it that the ungrateful disabled person wasnt bowing in awe over their wokeness for using them or whatever. Just complete all caps aggressive HOW DARE YOU and WHY CANT I DO ANYTHING RIGHT IM TRYING TO BE AN ALLY reassurement fishing and defensive 'I cant be ableist deliberately using tone tags on someone triggered by them, im doing the woke thing tiktok said so you are wrong' stuff.

What would be better to be done instead, in order of best to worse is;

Rephrase the statement/question to have the tone stated in there if the statement is not ruined by doing so. Unless you are working with a wordcount, this is accessible to the most amount of people because you dont need to learn a secret code and its fairly unambiguious and the least condescending and trap-like looking.

'Why do you have text describing images all over your blog? /gen' -> 'Genuine question, why do you have text describing images all over your blog?'

'Your artwork emotionally disembowels me /pos' -> 'Your artwork, and I mean this in the most positive of ways, emotionally disembowels me'

State the tone/meaning in FULL in parenthesis at the end. This makes it clearer what the tag is supposed to indicate to more people, it may still cause confusion however, trigger paranoia, or look condescending. Its more screenreader friendly, but less so than the above option. This works also for things that ruin the thing to interrupt the flow.

'Why do you have text describing images all over your blog? /gen' -> 'Why do you have text describing images all over your blog? (genuine question)'

'Because you are totally an anti /s', 'because you are totally an anti (sarcasm)'

Ask or look for indications that this person requires tonetags or uses them BEFORE using them and then respecting that choice. Has all the stated above issues, but at least consent for participating in this dialect was obtained. Checking if they need /pos, /srs, AND /gen tagged on on simple statement of 'your shirt looks cool' is very good.

Counterarguments:

'Im working on a short charactercount'

Not on every platform you arent! I concede this one on twitter, where you can barely fit a statement in there sometimes and you may not be able to threadtweet reasonably. But in spaces like tumblr where you have no charactercount? On discord where charactercount is so high and its a chatspace so you can just double message?

Also the 'ask before you use' or 'state in your hoverbio you use' is best practice.

Also also try emojis, which I didnt list previously but with some tones can make it more clear with only a few characters.

'It helps ME THE poster's anxiety/ADHD/etc to do this, I NEED to write like this, you are being ableist to stop me.'

Other options ALSO get the thing across for you! If rewording things to be clearest to everyone is way too hard for you, the FULL word in parenthesis is next best.

'I have a disability that makes typing hurt so I need to type as little as possible'

The third option is still available to you, but make sure to be clear that its not for the readers benefit you are doing this, but for you. This way people who need to avoid this can block you/not interact. Lean full chatspeak to help further (&, b4, 2, w/o, etc shortenings).

Also try emojis as above.

Competing access needs is a bitch, and that means we need to coexist, but (general)YOUR access need doesnt trump mine, so dont feel entitled to interacting with people who request no tone tag interaction. We just have to avoid each other.

For people who dont have the above problems just... PLEASE use plain text. Please. Its way more accessible to the most amount of people.

--

Yeah, for real.

[hella1975]

hella could you spear some sakuatsu fics i’m having a sakuatsu brainrot and i trust your opinion

YES I ABSOLUTELY CAN I HAVE NO JOKE READ HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF WORDS WORTH OF SAKUATSU FICS THESE PAST FEW WEEKS AND I SHOW NO SIGNS OF STOPPING OKAY LET'S GO

ATSU101: how to fall in love with your fake boyfriend by solyn - this was THE sakuatsu fic for me. i literally hadnt heard of the ship before and i didnt even like atsumu at the time lmaoo (now i think i kin him which is... mortifying). honestly i aspire to be as funny as this author. this fic just sucked me in and i read the whole thing so quickly. the fake-dating au we all wanted. it’s hilarious but also touching, and atsumu is so dense i almost screamed at my laptop but in the fun ‘reading a slowburn’ kind of way

finders keepers by solyn - after the above fic i checked out the rest of this author’s works and found this. god i love this fic so fucking much. it’s hilarious and heart-warming and insightful and it made me want to face the world again at a time when i might have preferred hiding away a little longer. sakusa is babysitting his sister’s kids and ALL of them run away from him while in the middle of tokyo, leading him and the Handsome Stranger Currently Witnessing His Mental Breakdown to go on an adventure around the city to find them all again, falling in love in the process. the cameos of the other haikyuu characters are also golden, particularly iwaoi bc i adore them. just. read it. you won’t regret it

play among the stars by buttonstuck - i read this in a single day when i was travelling the other week and i have NO regrets. i absolutely love sakusa's characterisation in this and while i love atsumu being an oblivious dork in fics, him being clever scratches a really specific itch in my brain and this fic did not disappoint. also even just the premise is so fucking genius? i know the author was very open that a lot of inspo was from the martian but i still couldn't have written this in a million years. they are stuck on the MOON together. and initially that made me unsure bc it sounded quite far-fetched but i am so glad i took a chance and read this

three sheets to the wind by fairycake - PIRATE AU!!! this was written so well it genuinely could have been a published book and i wouldn't have questioned it. the characterisation of EVERYONE is just done so well that it was totally immersive, especially kagehina's interactions genuinely felt canon. i also literally almost got emotional about the ending bc it's so much more than just a sakuatsu fic, it's also about finding your dream and learning to live for yourself and there's found family and UGH

insert coin to play by fairycake - same author as above and the fic im currently reading. it's still being updated which is exciting and when i tell you ive read almost all of it today alone holy shit i got SUCKED IN. i wouldn't normally have clicked on this just bc the tags looked like it was just honestly gonna be smut (which ive noticed is a trend with sakuatsu but whatever) but i trust this author after three sheets to the wind and they did NOT disappoint. i had no reason to worry about the tags bc im almost caught up and all they've done is kiss and threaten to kill each other, i genuinely think atsumu's presence just requires it's own onslaught of tags lmao. i think this might be my favourite sakuatsu fic so far? and im not even finished yet? the plot is just so well thought out that it could genuinely be a real book and i wouldn't question it, and there's moments of humour that have genuinely cracked me up and holy shit the characterisation. THE! CHARACTERISATION! their banter and the enemies to lovers and the tension is just *screams*. this is professional level writing. also the wholesome miya twin content. i just. 'if you're gonna die, die where i can find you' what if i started sobbing uncontrollably. I JUST REALISED I NEVER EVEN SAID WHAT THIS IS ABOUT it's such a cool premise this author never misses. it's a cyberpunk universe where omi and atsumu are bounty hunters! and they're each other's biggest rivals! but then they have to work together against a common enemy aRE YOU SEEING THIS SHIT-

burden of blame by deathbelle - this is another fic where the characterisation and enemies to lovers was just fucking nailed. like idk what it is about sakuatsu writers that just makes them hit the target EVERY FUCKING TIME but i want what they're having. give me enemies to lovers where they actually want each other dead and go from that all the way to being willing to burn the city down for each other. that's what burden of blame and insert coin to play do super super well. burden of blame is a really big one for the ship but if you haven't read it, it's a yakuza au where atsumu goes under the protection of the gang sakusa's in and they're forcefully partnered. the plot is so well thought out and there's a twist that literally made me pace my fucking room when i got to it. it's just so good and i ADORE both sakusa and the miya twins characterisations in this (im a sucker for wholesome miya twin content if you cant tell and this didn't disappoint)

clipped to you by littleboat - this is actually just a one-shot but it is fucking ADORABLE and i have been utterly obsessed with the 'sakusa wears hair clips' hc ever since. like just. the mental imagery. the mental imagery. atsumu never stood a chance

[fuchsiagrasshopper]

Falling Together Part IV

Author’s Notes: Here it is, the finale! What fun it was writing for this mini series, and now I can’t wait to embark on something else. Thanks to you lovely readers who made this a fun journey. If you have ideas on what you want me to write next, let me know in a comment or message. Enjoy!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3

Pairing: Ivar x Reader

Word Count: 2977

Warnings: light angst

From his time as King of Kattegat, Ivar had taken many lessons from his failed ruling. He was intuitive, and would never make the same mistake twice. The people had followed him in battle, feared him, revolted against his crown until finally, he had crept away in exile. After all of that, there was one challenge he had never faced, and it was an illness.

The fever first started as a whisper,  maybe one or two elderly succumbing to a quick death. It was nothing out of the ordinary, and it had not caught the attention of the healers. But as able-bodied warriors began to grow weak and pallid, and children dropped weight, the alarm was raised. 

The first blow came when Hvitserk fell ill. He had shown signs during a discussion regarding the start of the fever, and now he was housed with the others in a large makeshift tent in the center of the city. The sick were kept away from the healthy, and only the healers came and went at their own peril. They tended to the infirm without complaint, even as it kept many of them isolated from their own families.

Ivar had heard stories of when the plague had crossed through Kattegat from Bjorn. A half-sister he would never know had been taken by the illness. He was reminded of this tale because of Hvitserk's condition. Fear was ever-present in his mind about losing his brother, and he had been passing along messages to the healers to take to him. Even though they refused to let him be by his side, he wanted Hvitserk to know he wasn't alone.

"We need to do something for the healers," You said, your voice bringing him back to the warmth of your chambers.

Ivar turned to you and watched you in silence. The occurrence of the fever had taken a toll on you as well. Memories of your mother's early death had been brought up in the still of the night as you lied together. Though he didn't have the words to comfort you, he had held you close, skin to skin, your air mingling together as you each took turns whispering soft things of care.

"Any provisions we don't need will go to them first," He said, coming to sit beside you on the bed. Dáire was sleeping against your leg, and Ivar ran his fingers through the dog's hair.

"I've written to Father, and he has agreed to send food and linens. We'll have to send men to retrieve the cart. I don't want outsiders risking coming through the gates."

You were calm and pragmatic in the face of turmoil, and Ivar was grateful to have you by his side. He leaned across Dáire, reaching for you to lay a quick kiss on your temple. You replied with a short laugh.

"What was that for?"

"For being strong. I have never dealt with illness among the people, but having you here has helped me with the difficult decisions."

You took his hand from your face and gave a kiss against his palm. "It's something we have to do, right? When the people suffer, we have to be strong."

You were strong, and with the both of you together, Ivar felt invincible. But there were the first signs of exhaustion creeping up. He felt it in his frail bones and saw it on your face. This was an invisible enemy, and no amount of brute force could be submitted. It was an isolating situation, helping the people from afar and relying on the information from the healers. The air in the city was reek from the sick, and the ground damp. Neither of you ventured out from the Great Hall unless it was of the utmost importance.

"Rest," Ivar told you, gentle but firm. "The people will need you."

'I need you' was what he wanted to say, but your eyes had grown heavy, and Ivar didn't like how warm your hand felt in his.

You agreed without complaint, and Ivar didn't mind that Dáire was nestled between you. He settled into sleep as well, for the few hours he could. He had been awoken in the night the past while by thralls or guards with updates on the illness, and he couldn't afford to squander a chance at rest. Turning to face you, Ivar pulled the furs over and let his eyes close, falling into a fitful sleep.

ooOOoo

It was still dark when your eyes shot open. Your chambers were filled with shadows in the small light of the candles that burned low. The season was late, but you were warm and covered in sweat. A sinking feeling woke you, something you had been trying to hide from your husband. In the past few days, your appetite had vanished, and an increasing malaise had taken hold. 

You jumped out of bed, jolting both Dáire and Ivar awake. An empty chamber pot was near, and you lunged for it, landing hard on your knees as you emptied your stomach. With your head buried, and your hair falling around your face, you couldn't make out what was happening around you. The room fell into chaos. Ivar was already shouting for a healer, and Dáire was running around, whimpering frantically.

"(Y/N)," Ivar called, combing your hair away from your face. 

You didn't know when he had joined you on the ground, but you pushed at his chest with a weak hand. "No, stay away. You'll get sick."

"I'm not leaving you," He barked back. "Nothing can stop that. We share everything together. I'm already at risk."

Dáire let out a growl at the guard that came into the room. He had two thralls and a healer with him, and they worked to separate you from Ivar. You were maneuvered back onto the bed, while one of the thralls took Dáire out from the room. Your husband refused to leave at the order of the healer, occupying the chair at your side with an immovable resolve. 

A cool cloth was draped over your forehead, and the healer was grinding down herbs for you to drink. You had lost control over what was happening, your body spent while everyone else spoke around you. Your head was stuffy, and you felt bloated even after retching.

"For the time being, you should room elsewhere, my King. And your wife should be put into isolation with the other sick," The healer said.

"No, she'll remain here with me," Ivar argued. "I will help look after her."

You felt the first drop of hot brew as the healer tilted your head up to drink the medicine. The taste was aromatic and bitter, and you hoped your empty stomach would be able to keep it down.

"How long has she been showing signs of the fever?" The healer asked Ivar.

"This is the first time I've seen her sick."

A wave of guilt washed over you for keeping your symptoms hidden. "It started a few days ago," You murmured.

You could barely make out what was being said by the healer, but you could see the anger and disappointment furrow Ivar's brow. Your marriage was a strong union and without lies. Downplaying your sickness had simply been about sparing him of the worry you now knew he felt. On top of Hvitserk being struck with the fever, and managing the concerns of the people, you didn't want to be his burden. 

When the guard stepped out, and the thralls were ordered around by the healer  Ivar took your clammy hand in his.

"If you weren't sick, I would be furious at you for your silence."

You smiled while running the cool cloth down your face. "That's unlike you to hold back. I like our arguments."

"Then I'll save it for when you are well again."

That was more on par with the Ivar you had come to know. From tales of his mother to the boat builder, Floki, you knew your husband struggled with loss. So he chose to deal in absolutes. He couldn’t fathom losing you from the sickness. 'When you are well', as if saying it aloud, it would keep you from death.

Your own mortality was not something you had considered until now either. When your mother had been taken by fever, she had still been young, and you wondered if she had thoughts about her own death before succumbing to it.

"I need to get word to my father that I've taken to bedrest," You said, pushing yourself up in bed.

"I'll help with that," Ivar said while easing you back down to rest.

It would be the first time Ivar would get to test his writing skills after your teachings. The thought would have made you happy had it been under better circumstances than informing your father you had taken ill.

The throbbing feeling was back in your head, and the fever made your eyes burn. You allowed your lids to shut, hoping to rest even if you were too worried to sleep. Thoughts of the people suffering weighed heavily on your mind, and you did not want to leave Ivar to deal with everything. You were aware that he was at your side, and you soon succumbed to the will of your body, falling into much-needed rest.

ooOOoo

"You look like shit," Hvitserk said, the first words Ivar had heard his brother say in person since he had been taken to isolating with the others.

The days had advanced, and so had Ivar's haggardness. More bodies had been piled to be burned in a massive pyre, and it was decided that once the fever was swept away, a celebration would be held for the dead. It was just one of few things Ivar had wanted to give back to the people. Their hope was clinging by a thread, and he struggled in your stead to keep it alive.

Many others had managed to fight off the illness, which included Hvitserk who was now on the mend. He was thinner from the ordeal, but his appetite had returned with a fierce need to prove he could still devour a whole chicken in one sitting. Ivar was pleased, if not disgusted, to witness his brother's return to form.

"Did you want something?" He asked around a mouthful of meat, indicating to the rest of the spread down the table.

Ivar shook his head while nursing his mead, which had begun to cool. "I'll eat with (Y/N) later."

"How is she feeling?"

Ivar frowned as his thoughts continued to swirl around that same thought for the past week. The last wave of the illness was ending with fewer people falling sick each day. You still remained on rest in your chambers, and while the fever had broken on you two days prior, you were still showing signs of illness.

"She's fighting," Ivar said shortly.

"(Y/N) is strong. I don't think the Gods would choose this to be her end."

If it was he would renounce them all...but he couldn't give in to such caitiff thoughts. You might not have shared the same Gods, but he preyed they would all grant you more time at his side. His days without you were endless, and though he had not spoken the words aloud, he knew he loved you. It was difficult to comprehend when it had happened, but it was a simple thing. With Freydis he had been besotted by her beauty but was embarrassed to find he didn't know what else he loved about her. His marriage to you was different. What started as a strange and loveless affair had grown into what he had always searched for. Perhaps it had been too easy, and now the Gods wanted to take you away. 

"I owe much to her father," Ivar said, thinking out loud his train of thought. "Without the extra supplies and medicine, our losses would be much higher."

"And how's he handling the news of his daughter's illness?"

The first letter Ivar had written to King Conall had been with your dictation, but what you didn't know was Ivar had continued to write to your father in his own words. He was the only other man who could understand his position, and Ivar craved the guidance and wise words he was able to provide.

"When he first heard of (Y/N) falling ill, he had wanted to come here, and damned the chance of catching the fever himself, but I persuaded him to remain away."

"I'm sure Ragnar felt the same way after he returned to find Gyda had passed," Hvitserk said, and it was the first time either of them had mentioned her name. "I wonder what she was like."

Ivar didn't. Dwelling on the dead was something he had done for so long after his mother's murder, and he could bring himself to do it again. He was comforted by the idea that Gyda was reunited with her mother and father in Valhalla, even if it meant peace for Lagertha.

"My King," They were interrupted by your personal thrall. She appeared rather giddy, which had Hvitserk tossing him a confused look. "The Queen requests your presence in your chambers."

"Is she well?" Ivar asked, bracing to stand on his crutch. 

"Aye, she is eating again," The thrall replied with a giggle. "Almost as much as master Hvitserk."

Hvitserk let out a belch and a chuckle. "Odin had heard you, brother."

Ivar refrained from allowing his relief to get the better of him, but he started for your chambers as quickly as he could propel his body. It was the first time in days he was approaching your shared room with excitement rather than dread. Seeing you spread out in the center of the bed with the furs pulled down to stave off the fever had weakened his heart. He took the words of your thrall with a grain of salt, deciding he would determine your state for himself.

He burst forth through the threshold the moment he reached it and was met with the strong smell of fermented fish. You were propped up with furs and cushions, a plate balanced on your lap. Dáire was perched up on his hind legs by your side as you tossed him a scrap of food.

"You're awake," Ivar said out of breath. 

"And you came all this way to see me," You teased with a tired but pleasant smile. "I missed you."

Ivar shut the door and came to sit on the bed. "I've hardly left your side."

"I know, but I wasn't aware of much that went on around me, and I must have made for dreadful company."

The only dreadful thing had been when watching the color fade out from your face as you slept through the fever. A warm glow was set upon your cheeks again, and it was the first time he'd seen you eat whole food.

"How is Hvitserk?" You asked, interrupting his reminiscing of terrible thoughts.

"He remains eating any extra provisions your father had sent to us," He explained, and you laughed at the answer. "I should grab a healer."

Your hand reached out and tugged on his sleeve, keeping him in place. "Hlíf was already here before you came. She thinks I've been free of the sickness for two days now."

"But you were sick this morning," Ivar said, not understanding the healer’s interpretation. 

"Yes, and that will likely continue for a time," You paused and breathed a small laugh. "I'm with child."

Ivar's strange first reaction was to look down at your stomach as if expecting to find a curve to your middle. It was too soon to tell by looking, but that didn't stop him from reaching out and placing a hand down on your warm belly.

"When did you find out?"

"The healer told me this morning, but I suspected it was possible as the fever faded, and I still was waking up unwell," You said, your hand joining his. "What are you thinking?"

So many things, yet his mind was quiet. There was fear that the child wouldn't survive long enough to be born, or worse it would carry his affliction. He couldn’t do to you what he did to Freydis, but he wondered if he would see his own child as a burden, much as Ragnar saw him.

"Ivar," You whispered, moving in close. "Come back to me."

He blinked, seeing the worried look appear on your face. "I'm afraid when I should be happy. What if this child brings nothing but disappointment?"

"Only if we let it. We cannot control our fate, and if we fall off one path we won't stop. We'll take a new one together, with our child. I don't believe this is a miracle or a blessing, it is just the result of us falling in love, together."

"I thought good Christians believed in those miracles," He murmured, while brought to ease by what you had said.

You wrinkled your nose in disgust. "No God should be so lazy, and they can't claim responsibility for every child born of one breath."

Ivar pulled you down beside him on the, and he was pleased by the surprised shriek you let out. "I'll make a heathen out of you yet."

"I love you, husband."

He'd held on for so long without the need for love, but now as you offered it, so safe and simple, he knew he would take it all. It was different than any other time before, not smothering or conniving. It was a tranquil pool he could wade into without the worry of squalls or tidal waves. Ivar was grateful you had both fallen together. 

"Of course you do, and I love you right back."

@peachyboneless

@didiintheblog

@soleil-dor

@zuxiezendler

@pieces-by-me

@xbellaxcarolinax

@heavenly1927

@everyartistwas-firstanamateur

@youbloodymadgenius

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@1950schick

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@rastakami23

[whump-town]

Moments Too Late

In honor of spending too much time on my own Universities quad because of the nice weather (which is promptly going to shit because it’s going to be cold again Monday) and because of @olivinesea college AU I give you...

The false promises of March lure them from the comforts of their dorms. Each morning now a little warmer, the sun beaming down forgiving and loving as it’s not the quiet time for it to swelter down great beams of heat that melts clothes off the skin off muscles off bones. Today it heats the ground, enough to encourage them out of their shoes to feel the still slightly chilled nature of the not yet up to pace earth beneath their toes.

Derek laughs deeply, unabashedly as he chases Spencer along the grass. Seemingly all the more pleased the louder he can get the younger boy to screech in terror as Derek pins his thin arms in contorted positions as they wrestle. The only mediation, the only warnings they get, comes when JJ looks up from her textbook. More often to tuck strands of hair behind her ears than to break from her reading. “Don’t hurt him, Derek,” she warns. Not because she’s afraid he will but to continue these halves of theirs. Where she stands to allow Spencer this idea that she will step in if need be.

“The winter,” Emily says softly. “I think the winter depresses him.” She’s laid out on the jacket Dave spread out on the ground before them. He’d given a little “hmph” of disapproval but not altogether displeasure when she laid herself out on it. Her legs break out in rashes and the shorts she’d chosen to wear leave her too exposed to rest comfortably in it.

Dave rests back on his elbows, chest lifted to take in all the rays of the sun that he can. He cracks open his left eye, scowling over at her as he processes what she’s just said. The raised eyebrow of doubt -- of further need for contemplation and clarification on the generally just vague statement she’s just made -- goes unnoticed as she watches Aaron. Dave’s eyes follow suit and while he might not understand the full complexity of what it is that she means, he might be able to gather what she sees.

“Winter depression?” he whispers. There’s no way that Aaron could be anything but… well, Aaron. By definition, that means dark and spirally with a complexity not a single soul, at least Dave suspects, knows him in his entirety. They are all bound by bits and pieces, half-truths that they have put together like children and those little cheap boxes that are covered half-hazardously in Elmer’s glue and macaroni shells.

Aaron lays out on his back, eyes closed and more relaxed than they’ve ever seen him. Shoulders sinking into the ground and limbs open. His ankles set aligned with his hips and shoulders. Palms up, a sunflower turned to face the warmth. He can feel the heat crawling up his body, nearly too warm with the sweater on his arms and the jeans that don’t quite fit the length of his legs. Softly, he clears his throat doesn’t even bother cracking an eye open as he says, “the word the two of you are looking for is seasonal and I’m not, nor have I ever been, depressed.”

Though Dave shoots Emily a look that says it all -- leave resting snakes to lie, don’t poke a bear you’re not ready to kill -- she sits up and observes him further. Letting his head thud against the dirt, Dave lets her poke that hornet’s nest knowing he’ll be the one to soothe Aaron’s buzzing anxiety and pull the stingers from Emily’s skin.

“You locked yourself in your room for two weeks,” she reminds him. As if she wasn’t the dead girl in the freshmen dormitory wrapped around a toilet and sent to the emergency room where they know her by name. Where they take turns picking her up in the lobby, waving to the doctor’s as she signs out against their advice with her arm still bleeding where she pulled too harshly, too angrily at the IV snaked under her flesh. Who is she to point fingers at his oddity? At least he can go a weekend without visiting the bottle.

The two weeks in question were from hell. He’d been with them Tuesday, present in a way that they reflected on as oddly so. They also thought he’d killed himself, a theory started by JJ too good to pass up so their application might be flawed. For two weeks, there was nothing but radio silence from him. His dorm was empty and they couldn’t even find him in the library, a place they more often than not have to drag him from.  He didn’t show up until Thursday, so he was actually gone for sixteen-days, and looked like maybe he had died and dragged his corpse all the way back to them.

Not yet adults and very much the children raised by their parent’s hips, how could they not think in the extremes that they have known their entire lives? Too young to know the complexities of the life ahead of them but too damaged to ignore it. JJ knows what her sister did and Derek could feel his father’s blood hardening on his hands, could understand and see what JJ was telling them.

One. Talking about wanting to die or to kill oneself; Eyes closed and back sinking further and further into the blankets behind him. Nearly unaware of how close they all are, of the hand on his knee or the shoulder on his hip. “It would be nice… I think,” he whispers. “No stress. No obligations. Like sleeping.” He doesn’t sleep well.

Two. Talking about feeling hopeless or having no purpose; The warmth of his eyes has frozen over, the helpless desperation that he feels bubbling over. The carefully orchestrated faux look he’s spent years building burns at his feet. Leaving behind the broken child that he is at his core, searching for something that makes sense. For a father that loves him and a mother that protects him. “It doesn’t matter what I do,” he rasps. “Nothing matters because all I do is fuck everything up.”

Three. Sleeping too little or too much; He pulls from the hand that JJ gently reaches out with, flinching. “I -- I just don’t sleep well,” he defends, avoiding her eyes when she tries to look harder. To really see how pale he’s become. “It’s just -- just insomnia.” Nightmares are what he means but twenty-year-olds shouldn’t have that kind of horror built up into them so he lies. It’s easier that way.

Three strikes. You’re out but… they just couldn’t find a body. Dave had told them about how old dogs will drag themselves away from their homes to die and Spencer had cried for hours after that. Maybe that seemed a little too on the nose, Aaron being compared to an old beaten dog. They yelled at Dave out of fear but knew he was right.

Then Aaron just showed up to campus Thursday, a lump of human underneath his comforter as if he’d been there the entire time.

“We couldn’t find you for two weeks, Aaron. That’s -- That’s crazy, even for you.”

JJ looks up from her textbook, sees Dave, and looks back down. She’s certain that they’re about to have to deal with one of Emily and Aaron’s nuclear fallouts.  With hindsight, she can see how that’s been festering up. Every semester they have one of these martial spats, bad enough to leave Spencer (who loves nothing more than to be one of their shadows) afraid to be left alone with either for a few days. Rightfully so, Aaron gets a little dark and Emily never pulls her punches, it’s a scary thing to witness.

“My father died.” The group freezes for a moment. Spencer and Derek’s wrestling had died down, both watching Aaron and Emily. He’s sitting up now, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “My father died and it wasn’t any of your business.” Emily opens her mouth but he’s shaking, having opened something not so easily contained. He doesn’t know how to put it all back. “Sean called, what was I to do, Emily? Would you prefer I tell a scared nine-year-old to fuck off?”

He wanted to. Despite how scared Sean had been, how small he’d sounded sucking in little sobs. Aaron lost his father ten years ago but he couldn’t tell Sean that. He’d gone out of obligation and the strange weighted sense that this might be the last time he truly sees his little brother. And he couldn’t know it yet but it’d be the last time he saw his mother too.

“I wasn’t out mixing my name up with Jack Daniels.”

Well…  it was only a matter of time.

She stands first, fist clenched at her sides. “We’re your friends, we would have been there. You’re just too much of an insufferable bastard to notice!” She seethes good and properly angry. Misplaced but firm. “If you spent half as much time locking yourself away, pretending to be someone you’re not--” She pulls in a deep shuttering breathe. “Everyone knows, you know? All of us. We’ve seen the scars.” She’s not sure if it’s what she wanted but he flinches as though he’s been hit and that’s not enough to stop her. “Do you think we wouldn’t notice the flinching? That we can’t touch you? You’re not as good as you think you are, Aaron, and we’re not stupid.”

Silence.

Emily always knows what to say.

“Ex-Excuse me.”

Penelope comes up just as Aaron’s stumbling to his feet, pale as a ghost and trembling. He nearly runs into her. “What’s--” she’s brought them snacks. Little pieces of fruit she’s painstakingly cut for this little snack. “What’s wrong?”

He shakes his head and mumbles another “excuse me” and tears past her.

Penelope looks hopelessly at them, confused and hurt. She turns, watching Aaron stagger and wipe furiously at his eyes. “What… What did you do?” She looks back and forth, settling on Emily. Penelope watches tears gather in Emily’s eyes, her lower lip trembling.

“Oh God,” she whispers, hands raising to her lips. Emily looks over at Dave and to JJ, Spencer, and Derek still watching in terror. Her own words coming back to her, funneling through moments too late. “Oh God, what did I do?”

[daddynegandesires]

My little runaway pt. 3

(Summary: after returning back to the sacutuary negan leaves on one of his runs only to come back to an unexpected turn of events.)

⚠Warning: strong language, angst, physical fighting, smut⚠

Mature content

3 days later

Its been days since negan has been out on his run youve been helping out around the sanctuary cleaning and cooking for everyone. You have been letting people slide without using their points for food and other activities. The point system always seemed like a dumb idea to you never seemed fair to have people earn points just for things they desperately needed. Finishing up the dishes in the kitchen you heard everyone in the dining hall go silent. You walked around the corner to see everyone on their knees..negan must have arrived you kept yourself hidden in the kitchen knowing you havent been exactly following by his rules since he has been gone. Quietly finishing putting up the dishes you sneak outside around back moments before negan suddenly bursts outside.

"(Y/n)....where are you!!" Negan began pacing around looking for you when he turned the corner to see you leaning up against the wall

"You!..."

Negan charged up to you grabbing you by the throat slamming you against the wall.

"What is with you!?" You said clearly before getting all of the air stuck from entering into you

Negan began to drag you back inside infront of all saviors throwing you on the floor with a loud thump as your body hit the ground.

" i want everyone to see whos in charge here and its me!! Not her..me...im sorry you guys have to witness this the hard way....but you leave me no other choice..rules are rules!" negan gripped lucille tightly raising her above his head

You were sitting on the concrete floor still trying to comprehend everything that is going on and, in a sudden flash you were struck across the arm. A sharp shooting pain bursted throughout my whole body causing me to scream in agony. Blood was rushing down your arm you covered it with your hand feeling it seep between your fingers. You were now laying on the floor crying infront of everyone feeling humiliated while negan stood there with a nasty grin. He began to get ready to strike you again. The bat slashed across your arm again this time harder and more painful feeling of the barbwire sinking into your flesh ripping it off. You tried to protect your face with your hands before he could get another swing in. Blood now splattered all over negan your screams now filled the building of the sanctuary

"Negan stop!" Dwight stepped infront of negan blocking you

Negans eyes grew black as he realized what dwight was doing. He knew he was getting his fair share of punishment too for stepping up.

"She cant take it.....negan she is your bestfriend she is bleeding out you are going to kill her!" Dwight yelled

Realizing what he had just done negan dropped lucille to the ground everything began to feel like it was in slow-motion and, my head was pounding. Negan pushed Dwight out of the way and scooped you up dripping blood all over his white shirt he rushed you to the doctor they had there. Busting in through the door he placed you down on the operating table the last thing you seen was negan staring back at you before everything went black.

*Nightmare*

"Fuck me harder..." You could feel yourself slowly buckling under him.

With every thrust negan was grunting louder his cock filled you up perfectly. The wetness of your pussy making that sexy sound he loved so much. You had almost forgotten that you were fucking in his and lucilles bed...which made you feel like a peice of shit. Lucille was in the hospital dying from cancer and negan said this was a way to help him "cope". I thought otherwise....

"Fuck you are so tight.....your pussy feels so fucking good" negan moaned biting at your neck slamming into your pussy faster.

You began to drag your nails down his back causing him to grunt out in pain he then grabbed you by the throat squeezing untill you let out small moans. He began fucking you faster you couls feel his cock swelling up inside of you getting him closer to the edge of blowing his load. He took his free hand gently rubbing it over your clit. Your moaning grew louder and louder the faster his fingers went.

"Negan.....how could you!" A faint voice called out.....

*end of Nightmare*

You suddenly woke up in a sweaty panic to only realize you were hooked up to IV monitor's. You began to raise yourself up when a sharp pain beamed through your arm causing you to cry out in pain you looked around the room and spotted negan in the chair beside you slumped over fast asleep. Everything that happended slwoly started coming back to you negan humiliating you infront of everyone and, almost killing you with lucille.

"Your up..." Neagn said in a raspy tired tone

You couldn't bring yourself to say anything to him not after what he just did to you he could have killed you!. All you could do was stare at him you didnt even know who you were staring at anymore all you knew is that you had to get out of here nothing will ever change with him. Ever.

Negan rose up from his seat moving over to the bed sitting down by you he raised up his hand to caress your face which caused you to flinch. His face looked full of guilt and sadness he was struggling to keep eye contact with you. You pushed his hand off of you shooting him a dirty look.

"I need you to leave....now" you spoke through gritted teeth turning your face away from him.

"I dont want anything to do with you ever again!!..im done with you..now get out!" A fire grew inside of you, your voice full of rage there was no other choice but to distance yourself from this moster. Negans face twitched at the words that had just came out of your mouth he looked at you one last time before stading up to grab Lucille. It felt like there was a knot in your throat it was hard for you to do this but it had to end this way.

-------------

Its been weeks since me and negan have spoke let alone make eye contact with eachother. Ive been getting along with everyone nicely in the sanctuary even have been going on a few supply runs, not with negan course. My arm was almost fully healed but im left with an eye sore of a scar i have to deal with for the rest of my life. I cant forgive negan for what he did to me he went to far this time i can no longer put my trust in him. My night terrors have been increasingly bad lately i always end up tossing and turning all night. Dwight and i have actually been getting along with eachother and working as a team he has been keeping in touch with rick for me. Dwight isnt so fond of negan anymore either hes been sneaking around behind negans back giving information to Daryl.

I was in my room getting dressed when there was a sudden knock on my door it was dwight.

"Hey...how you doing?" He walked in leaving the door open behind him

"Im okay. Whats up?" I questioned, while sliding a knife into my belt loop

"Im not sure how to say this but we have to go on a run today wit-"

"Okay? Thats fine with me" i cut him off mid scentence while sliding on my leather jacket

"With negan..." He finished.

You took a deep breath in and ruffled your hair with your fingers annoyingly before letting your hands fall on your thighs causing it to make a slapping sound. Dwight stood there staring at the ground nervously waiting for you to respond.

"Okay then..." Letting out a deep sigh as much as you didnt want to be around negan you really didnt have any other choice right now. You and dwight left your room only to bump yourself into negan causing you both to grunt you just pushed right past him not saying anything making your way out to the truck ready to leave. Negan walks outside up to the truck you can hear him faintly whispering to someone. The door flings open and with one swift motion negan plops down in his seat slamming the door shut. You could feel negans eyes on you from the rearview mirror. Dwight hopped in the driver seat and drove off causing for an awkward silence untill we reached our destination.

"I gotcha.." Dwight said holding out his hand to help you out of the truck

All you could do was keep quiet and take the offer dwight was giving, negan as usual was standing there with a cocked smile ready at any moment to say some smartass bullshit. The three of us began to walk off when we came up on a pharmacy the windows were untouched, no broken glass all of the shelves look fully stocked Negan walked in tapping lucille on the counter giving warning to any walkers that could be inside. I followed behind him heading straight over to the medicine filling my bag up. All negan could do was walk around while watching me and dwight stock up on everything we needed.

"This place is a gold mine....untouched" negan said pacing back and forth

You were watching Negan gaze out of the front window of the building when we heard a yell come from the backroom we all quickly ran back there it was a man getting eaten by a walker, ripping his flesh off of his bones peice by peice.

"Put him out of his misery what are you waiting for!!?" You panicked yelling at negan

"Dwight ..." Negan said in a low tone

"You fucking coward!" You quickly pulled your gun out of your pocket pulling the trigger putting a bullet in the poor mans skull

"Wow....fiesty..." Negan said licking his bottom lip

"You fucking disgust me!...you are pathetic!!" You shoved your gun back into your pocket marching up to negan

"Dont excite me now darlin.." He let out a dirty grin slicking his hair back with his free hand

"Im so fucking tired of you...you act like you are the greatest man alive. You are a cheater! And a liar! Thats all you ever will be lucille would of never wanted this!" you screamed in his face before marching back to the truck. Negan and dwight came out to the truck shortly while gathering up the rest of the supplies. All you could do was sit with your arms crossed and a bitchy look on your face. Negan kept glacing at you out of the corner of his eye as if he had to keep watch over you.

When you arrived back at the sanctuary you rushed out of the truck storming off to your room slamming the door shut behind you. You were rumaging through the cabnets hoping to find a bottle of alcohol to calm yourself down with. The thoughts just kept floading through your head the night lucille died...you couldnt get negan cheating on her out of your mind you felt so guily so, disgusted with yourself...you were her bestfriend and you were fucking her husband. Grabbing ahold of the glass filled with dark brown alcohol you popped the lid off bringing it up to your lips. The smell of it almost stinging your nose, swallowing the alcohol it burned your throat a feeling you havent felt inawhile. Tears were streaming down your face as you slide down the wall behind you chugging down your drink. I just want to forget everything...

[thecosmicjackalope]

It’s probably not gonna happen but you know what would be amazing for next episode?

Kiteman leaves without saying anything to Harley or Ivy, who are then left comforting each other about the situation. Both feel like pieces of shit and both are confused about how to move on. Days pass. Weeks pass. As the city rebuilds itself, Kiteman is nowhere to be found and there’s a wall between Harley and Ivy. Everything between them is awkward now because Harley still wants to pursue Ivy but Ivy is riddled with guilt and is still confused about her feelings for Harley and for Kiteman. The crew suffers through the tension, moving between helping them get through their shit and trying to find Kiteman. Ivy wants to find him and so does Harley, but there is still an undercurrent of jealousy from Harley because Ivy’s focused on finding Kiteman and won’t even talk to her about the future and “what happens now.”

During all this, Gotham’s abuzz with gossip about what they have seen and everyone’s taking sides (like how we all are in the comments sections). There’s a good portion of the population that are hounding Harley and Ivy about their “new relationship”, some people are spitting on Harley and calling her a home wrecker (especially Kiteman’s parents, which would kind of be a nice little way to nod at the fact that despite being assholes they do still stand by him), Ivy has people who are talking about how glad they are that she’s dumped “that loser” which fills her with even more guilt, and everyone is laughing about Kiteman, with some wondering about where he is.

The scene shifts and we find Kiteman out of his costume, grounded, without his kite, blending in with everyone around him and succeeding because no one sans Ivy has seen him without his get up. He wanders from place to place, never really going anywhere, sometimes dropping by old spots where he and Ivy had some moments together. He’s not eating, he’s sleeping too much, living like he’s already dead. He walks by a wedding venue and sees the happy couple kiss and look into each other’s eyes lovingly.

He forces himself to look away.

Eventually he wanders into THE PIT or somewhere nearby, feeling low as dirt, lost, confused. He still hasn’t said a line since the episode started. He’s hanging out in the wreckage and the waste, he sees a kite, or perhaps a little harlequin doll, or something that reminds him of what he’s lost. And he snaps, and starts stomping on it and having a breakdown when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns to see that it’s Bane. Expecting Bane to attack him or do worse, Kiteman - or, “just Chuck” at this point - welcomes death. Bane refuses. In fact, he sits down with Kiteman and the camera and the audio pans and fades away respectively as they begin to have a long honest talk.

Back in the city of Gotham, Harley and Ivy have one big argument with a lot of their ugliest feelings bubbling up to the surface and bursting out. Very harsh words are exchanged. They separate, leaving behind the crew, lost, confused and hurt that three people they care about are suffering so much. Ivy goes to be alone in a place she loves, maybe an old greenhouse. Harley goes to a carnival or maybe some batting cages to practice her swing. Each of them respectively are confronted by different people who have something to say - Ivy is approached by Catwoman who “had a feeing she’d be at her usual spot” and Harley is confronted by Batgirl and Batman. They all talk.

Batman talks to Harley about relationships and responsibility and knowing what you want and listening to other people, going off of his own failed romances with Talia and Catwoman respectively, possibly even acknowledging a budding relationship with Wonder Woman or Superman (or both, as, in a hilarious twist, their incident with Ivy’s pheromones lead to them questioning their relationships with each other and trying to be a poly throuple). Batman closes the convo off with saying that Harley has to face the music for the people she’s hurt, but also says that he’ll be happy to see her with someone who treats her right and encourages her to listen to her heart. Harley admits that she feel like she doesn’t deserve love and Batgirl argues that yes she does. She thanks Harley for some of her good deeds, and especially for inspiring her to stand up for the person she loves (her dad) and be his hero, the hero that Gotham needed, while Batman was out. And she closes her end of the conversation by telling Harley that no matter what she chooses, she will stand by her decision. Harley smiles and hugs her, and humorously, Batman gets dragged into the hug and hates the whole experience.

In their own space, Catwoman and Ivy talk. Ivy vents to Catwoman about everything that’s gone down and all of her feelings and guilt and confusion about it, and for once, Catwoman listens, without fuss, without sarcasm, without a word at all. When Ivy admits that she thinks it’s over between them and that maybe it was doomed from the start, Catwoman talks about her romance with Batman, how she always expected it to be doomed, caused it to self destruct and how very deeply she regrets that she let him get away and didn’t try to actually fix the problems in their relationship. She admits that she’s lonely and that she lives her life alone and that she enjoys it, but that it doesn’t come without problems. It comes with regrets. It comes with emptiness. It comes with too heavy a price sometimes. And she encourages Ivy, in her own aloof, standoffish way, that if Ivy really feels like she has something special with Kiteman and Harley, she should pursue it. She should be honest with her feelings about both.

So Ivy and Harley run into each other, and they apologize and tell each other what they want. Harley wants Ivy, and also to take responsibility for how she did Kiteman dirty and wants to mend her friendship with him. Ivy admits she loves Harley and Kiteman both and wants to talk to them both to see if they can all pursue something together, namely, if Ivy is romantically with both, and if Kiteman and Harley are okay with that.

But first they have to apologize and take responsibility for what they’ve done.

At that moment, Kiteman enters the doorway. He’s wearing his uniform, he’s got his things. Ivy and Harley are relieved to see him, but somethings wrong. They can tell something is wrong. He walks past Harley like she’s not even there and he talks to Ivy and tells her that he’s leaving Gotham for another city, somewhere where he can start over, somewhere with lots of wind to soar majestically or something or other. Ivy asks him why and he finally finally lets out all his hurt feelings. Without yelling or raising his voice, he calls her out on all her bullshit, stating that if she had just respected and loved him enough to be honest, they could have worked through it. But she didn’t. And to him, that was unforgivable. He says something along the lines of “ive been a joke to everyone around me since the day I was born. But I thought, for once, I found someone who saw me for who and what I really was. A person. When I met you, I finally thought I found my match, my partner in crime who I could spend the rest of my life with, who would be with me no matter what. But I was wrong. In the end.... I was just a joke to you too.”

Ivy is hurt by this and tries to apologize but Kiteman says he’s made up his mind and he just came by for closure and to give her a proper goodbye. Harley tries to apologize, Kiteman ignores her but does tell the others he’s out of the crew and flies off.

He takes one last look behind him, but he doesn’t look at Ivy. He looks at Harley, not with hate, or anger, but bitter disappointment and betrayal. And it’s at this point that Harley truly realizes what she’s done.

Since You’ve Been Gone by Kelly Clarkson, aka Harley and Ivy’s trademark wedding song request, starts playing in the background as a sequence starts to play. Ivy and Harley drift apart. The rest of the crew - Frank, KS, Clayface and Sy - all struggle with the loss of Kiteman. If Harley was the brains of the group, Kiteman was the heart, and without him everything feels colder. Life in Gotham goes on. Villains fight heroes. People rebuild. College kids graduate, and Joker and his new girlfriend witness the kids perform at a school play, with all of his goons in the audience cheering them on. Bane continues helping others. Nora, Jennifer and Catwoman pay their respects to Dr Frieze and leave flowers on his grave before going out to dinner together as friends (and yes, they all have Cobb Squad tattoos on their arms). Riddler still does his riddles but has started teaching a class for cardio at a local gym and is deeply enjoying it. The only job Dr Psycho can get is running and operating a Ferris wheel ride at the local carnival, which, ironically, he’s good at and he actually kind of enjoys, if only because it’s easy money. He watches as a short little girl JUST misses the height test...and uses his powers to alter the sign so she can ride, just so she doesn’t know the crushing disappointment he felt when he was a kid. (Humorously, When she inevitably falls off the Ferris wheel later, he casually catches her with his powers and sets her back down on the ground without even looking up from the porn mag he’s browsing.) Batgirl and Gordon play videogames together until something comes onto the police radio, after which they race to the roof to meet Damien and Batman waiting for them in a jet. Damien shows a flicker of jealousy towards Barbara, but there’s clear implication that the two will form a strong sibling like bond. Batman smiles at Gordon and Gordon smiles at Batman.

Gotham rebuilds. Life goes on.

But in the very last scene, as the song comes to a close, the crew disbands, and Harley and Ivy separate, with heavy hearts and too much baggage between them for anything, even their friendship. King Shark goes back to the ocean, ready to throw himself into his loveless marriage. Clayface leaves for Hollywood, ever hopeful that maybe someday he can become a true thespian. Ivy takes Frank and Harley takes Sy. As Ivy and Frank look on with teary eyes, Harley gets into her car and drives off into the sunset, and leaves Gotham city limits while crying her heart out.

And that’s how the season ends.

[dreamsafterhours]

college boyfriend!markhyuk au series: III (mark’s pathway)

a universe in which roommates!markhyuk meet each other's s/o in class

markhyuk are roommates, my/n and dy/n are roommates, mark and dy/n take classes together and so do donghyuk and my/n — how will their fates intertwine?

genre: fluff pairings: mark+my/n (fem), donghyuk+dy/n (fem), platonic!mark+dy/n, platonic!donghyuk+my/n format: dotpoint AU universe: non idol, college bf warning: some swearing

masterlist

or click here to meet your soulmate, paediatrics!donghyuk!

II ⇤ | III | ⇥ IV

III: 별빛이 내린다 샤라랄라랄라라 (2+2=4)

the meeting of two souls: mark & my/n

hi hello good day how are you? i hope you're well today/tonight this is like 3 weeks late isn't it :D pls don't come after me i lost some motivation to write for a while but here i am now so let's get to it!!

aight so you met donghyuk's roommate for the first time yesterday and,,

you honestly had NO IDEA someone could be that cute

highkey regretting not asking for his name but you were so caught up in lingering on the fact that he implied you were pretty , like wHO DOES THAT ASDFKJL

you highkey shouted the verbal equivalent of a keyboard smash with ur roommate and she was all !! oh so this guy cute cute

you were contemplating whether or not to sneakily ask donghyuk for his name but you were worried bc hyuk has,, crazy sense when it comes to reading people and seeing through their words

and honestly you didn’t want to have to deal with hyuk potentially teasing the shit out of u for having a maybe crush on his roommate whom u’d just met

so you just beat your pillow sleep on it after your roommate reminds you it’s getting late and no life decisions should be made after 12am!! live by it

you wake up craving jjajangmyeon but alas if you were to get any satisfaction of that kind of hunger, it was going to have to wait because

~~ we love ~~ packed schedules ~~ in this house ~~

i hopes the sarcasm was noted in that previous sentence bc now u wish for life to cease

4 weeks into the semester and you were drowning in the midst of reports and lab pracs and content and revision

you were ready to ascend to the next life with only regret and an ability to vaguely explain the properties of a prokaryotic cell and endosymbiosis

but honestly donghyuk’s been a big help throughout the past month

your only friend in classes

official study buddy

2am revision session consultant

personal older brother bc he claimed you as his adoptive sister

another reason your roommate told you to go to bed was bc you literally have

a tutorial class + 2 consecutive 1.5 hour lectures + a 3 hour lab class to finish your day off

with no break for lunch in between :’((

looks like you’ll be starving through your library study session with dy/n

but oop

you find that dy/n had stayed up long after you’d fallen asleep writing her essay 

leaving your dorm feeling a twinge of guilt that u might have distracted her from focusing on her work to listen to your rambles and kept her up later than she should have been

but a text from her in the afternoon reassures u that honestly she wasn’t even planning to write that essay and The Feels™ had just hit her last night and that she made it to class

you: oh PHEW that’s good

you: sorry i didn’t wake you up on my way out, u looked so peaceful i couldn’t bear to disturb

dy/n 🦁: dw dw it’s all g i made it n e way

dy/n 🦁: also is it cool if my friend and his friend comes to the study sesh as well we have to go through some lecture content

you: ah yes don’t see why not :)) i’ll probs have my earphones in the entire time anyways lmao won’t affect me

but will it

“who u texting in the middle of diffusion” cue hyuk peering over at the phone you’re hiding in your lap

you click your tongue at him and lock your phone, “someone twice the man you’ll ever be”

he gasps in mock horror like he’d just witnessed a murder as quietly as he can ,,

“you’re texting a guy? in the middle of diffusion?”

“no. my roommate lmao”

“and what? is it me or your roomma—”

“—my roommate” you glance back up at the prof without looking at him

“ouch”

“you dare?”

“if i don’t dare, who will”

and due to this exchange, you miss the osmosis slide

“ah shit what was osmosis again”

“lmfao what makes u think i know that”

(pause)

“isn't it just.. net movement of free water molecules from an area of high concentration to an area of low concentration”

sorry my bio neural pathways are being excited again after being revisited for the first time in two years

/stares at him/ “why was that infuriating to hear from u”

after class you prepare to head to your dreaded 3-hour lab class you have with donghyuk but he stands up and stares into the void blankly

“where am i going”

“where do u think”

“oh, hell, most likely”

you scoff at the accuracy and drag him out of the lecture hall

you look at donghyuk and he’s visibly resisting the urge to poke your cheek when he first puts on his gloves

“what’s with you today”

he stares at his hands forlornly, “idk ask that to my timetable”

“week 4 got u dead huh”

he glances at you with a frown, “don’t act like u’re not dying too”

“damn. touché”

to your dismay, the lab class runs later than scheduled and you get out of it 20 minutes after it was meant to finish but luckily it’s your last class

with a quick goodbye to donghyuk and a text letting dy/n know you were going to be a lil late, u stop by ur dorm to pick up ur textbook before rushing to the library

you were highkey exhausted and just. famished by that point

but a promise is a promise and you weren’t going to back out of one now

especially when you felt like you owed your roommate one and it was you who originally suggested a library session

so you get to the library, bag strap slung over your shoulder, checking the photo of the seats dy/n had saved for you in the library

highkey getting lost once or twice but you manage

you get to the general area and spot dy/n sitting at a four-seater (wow how’d they get that) but you

freeze when you see who’s sitting next to her

it’s ??

????????

????????????????

/error 404/

????????????????

????????

ur heart goes into panic mode bc

it’s not even kidding it’s donghyuk’s roommate

and despite ur brain short-circuiting

you manage to remember that dy/n had said that mentioned her friend’s.. roommate.. also coming along..

and if her friend was donghyuk’s.. roommate..

you: :                             )

you: oh my god they were roommates

and speak of the devil

“oh hey fancy seeing u here”

you turn around and it’s donghyuk legit chills right there

you barely reply a “hi”

“i thought u were going to ur dorm for dinner”

“ah yeah—no i’m.. gonna go over some.. diffusion”

“oii! over here dude” his roommate whisper-yells out at donghyuk

dy/n waves at you “heYY my/n”

donghyuk waves and turns back to you “welp i’m gonna join a study group.. you could join if you came alone? i’m sure they won’t mind”

“about that”

“u waiting for someone?”

“i’m going over there too”

“what?”

he glances over at the table and then back to you

“that’s my roommate. right there next to your roommate”

you point her out and then donghyuk’s jaw drops

“what the fUC—” and you both. burst iinto laughter at the ridiculousness of the situation

like ?? how???

“wOW r u KIDDING”

“HOW DOES THIS HAPPEN”

“talk about a coincidence.. oh my god my cheekbones hurt” he says as he clutches his side

so you get to the table and dy/n tries to introduce u to donghyuk’s roommate

“mark, this is my/n, my/n this is mark”

ah yes so mark is his name, you think

cute name for a cute boi

“nice to meet you again, mark”

dy/n: “?? again?”

mark gives u a rlly wide smile “yeah we’ve met. hi my/n”

you swear you’ve never had your heart flutter like this

fdksoafjadgioarigilf

then mark introduces dy/n to donghyuk and they start talking about how they’re your legal guardian and telling the other to “get in line”

leaving you in middle like “ok mum and dad” but also thinking back to when donghyuk was highkey flirting with you,, and now how he’s flirting with dy/n ,, oh dude he’s flirting

and highkey ,,, you don’t have any hard feelings about it ,, you know she’s also got this kind of humour code and she’s far more comfortable with meeting new people

until dy/n jokes about custody rules and donghyuk replies with “who says we’re split”

ok mum and dad

n e ways you came to study and study you will

so you settle down and go through your notes for the day

albeit being a lil distracted by mark who sits right across from you somehow, somewhy,,

somewhy should be a word you can’t tell me how to english

you keep wanting to steal glances at him but you have to physically restrain yourself from doing so

and also donghyuk who keeps poking u under the table and texting u even though he’s right next to you

💩hyuk: bro

💩hyuk: bro

💩hyuk: bro

💩hyuk: bro

💩hyuk: bro

you: wHAT

💩hyuk: nvm lol

you: im boutta slap u. give me my pen back i saw that

💩hyuk: damn

💩hyuk: also r u hungry

you: terribly

you: why

💩hyuk: does ur roommate have any allergies

you: not that i know of

you: again

you: why

you: u buyin?

💩hyuk: 🤡<- you

💩hyuk: 🤡, how do you feel about dinner

you: invalid question. no variable answer

💩hyuk: alright, 🤡. im not buying for u

you glower at him but he isn’t looking at u,, he leans back and laments about how he’s craving chinese food

did he read your damn mind how did he know

and apparently he’s read dy/n’s mind too at how she jumps up at the mention of chinese and agrees profusely

so you find yourself abandoning your studies for the rest of the night and in a restaurant lmfao

“chill,, guys,,, jjajang is fine”

rock paper scissors for the cheque ends in mark’s tears

“no it’s ok. i’m ok it’s our first meeting as a fateful group and it makes sense! for me to pay”

after you satisfy your cravings the boys walk dy/n and you back to your dorm

mark tells dy/n to give him her bag for him to carry and while she practically gives it up to him, he has to insist that he’ll carry yours too

to which you’re like omg no it’s fine i can carry it it’s not that heavy i swear—

until donghyuk takes ur bag off ur shoulder and passes it to mark

because of the narrow path, you’re forced to walk in pairs and you end up walking next to donghyuk who makes happy sounds about how good that food was and how priceless mark’s face was when he lost rock paper scissors

then dy/n takes the initiative to make a group chat for you four,, asking for donghyuk’s number to add

you give her a look like damn gurl but you have no idea if she saw or if she just ignored you on purpose lmfao

also donghyuk looked way too happy afterwards

either way you slapped her when you got back to the dorm like “SINCE WHEN WERE YOU SO ?? BRAVE?”

dy/n: um

dy/n: honey

dy/n: have you met me

and thus the chaos of a group chat was born and just like a real child, you spent hours on it

dy/n 🦁: ok we inside

you: thanks for dinner again mark!

💩hyuk: he says you’re welcome

💩hyuk: i say we “accidentally” lose our purses next time we go out

you: nah you’re paying next

💩hyuk: y

💩hyuk: y, 🤡

dy/n 🦁: yes y, 🤡

dy/n 🦁: HAHAH WHY IS SHE 🤡

💩hyuk: i thought you of all people would know

dy/n 🦁: why is she just as dumb in class as she is in the dorm?

💩hyuk: i knew it

dy/n 🦁: she poured too much hot water into her tea the other day it overflowed and spilt onto her foot

mark: oh no were u okay

💩hyuk: looks like you’re gonna have to study osomsis

💩hyuk: osmoiss

💩hyuk: fuck

you: yes i’m okay it wasn’t that hot i had socks on too

💩hyuk: osmosis

dy/n 🦁: avoided tragedy luckily

💩hyuk: finally

you: there is a reason you’re saved as 💩hyuk on my phone

dy/n 🦁: HAAHAHAHAHHAHAH

seriously you just don’t know just how much this group was going to mean to you yet

click here to meet your soulmate, paediatrics!donghyuk!

II ⇤ | III | ⇥ IV

shoot me an ask if you’d like to be tagged in future parts!

[shannygoatgruff]

My Brother’s Keeper - Chapter IX

Genre: Psychological Thriller

Modern Ivar X Modern Hvitserk

Rating: MA 

Overall Warning:  Dark story told from an emotionally distributed person’s POV with graphic and sadistic material including rape, terror, torture, kidnapping, drug use, slash, implied incest, necrophilia, and insecurity. Heavy trigger warnings.  

Chapter Warning: Drug use, talk of spiraling out of control

Summary: Mama always said to be their brothers’ keeper. Now there is absolutely nothing these two won’t do for each other.  Boys will be boys…

Chapter IX

Why the fuck am I watching the news?  This is what flipping through channels gets me.  I should have never stopped when I saw this bitch’s face.  I fucking hate her. 

Now, I either want to put my fist through the TV or pull my damn hair out.

Fuck, I hate this bitch! She’s no different from the rest of these news assholes. Always trying to dig up some shit that should be left alone. Putting all of our personal business on blast like that...pieces of shit. And this whore is the worst of them.  She's purposely trying to make Ivar and I look bad. 

"Police are trying to find a common thread between these murders. The victims have all been found in remote areas throughout the county.  The coroner reports each victim showed signs of sexual trauma and or torture, pre- or post-mortem. While police have no suspects, in these killings, they do believe they are all connected and have been committed by the same perpetrator.  Witnesses to the last two victims’ disappearances have described seeing a Caucasian male, between the ages of 18-35, approximately 5’8” – 6’2”, medium build, with medium to dark hair, leaving with the victims. If you have any information about these victims or the suspect, please call Detective Torstein, Homicide." The white numbers for the police station flash on the screen under this bitch’s face.  

“You fucking cunt!” I don’t know what just fell to the floor as I kicked the coffee table in front of the couch.  She has no right to show fucking pictures and the names of our past guests.  But, I’ll be damned, if they are there.  All the ones from this month: Halfdan, Porunn, Astrid, and Erlendur.  None of them looked like that when we met them.  Then, they were all slutted up and ready to please.  But looking at these pictures, they look like they’re a part of a fucking church choir.  

You bitch!

But, fuck you news-lady, you forgot one. You forgot about that girl we met at the concert. I almost did. At least, I can keep one of those special nights sacred without you fucking it all up and turning it into some freak show for these news groupies to salivate over.  

Shit, I just wish I could remember that whole night. 

I can only remember meeting her and bringing her back to the cabin.  I remember she was a great lay, and that looked fucking amazing. But that’s it.  Every time I try to remember what we did, or how many times we did it or anything else, there’s like a blank spot.  I don’t know if Ivar got to try anything new with her, or what.  

Ivar said I blacked out, again.  Did she pass out before or after he got to her?   Did she try to escape?  Did he punish her long and hard for that?  Did she cooperate and he let her go?  Is that why she wasn’t on this little photo lineup? What the fuck I am saying? He wouldn’t’ve done that shit.  They just haven't found her body, yet. 

That bitch reporter is smiling again. She's enjoying all the fucking lies and the smear campaign that she’s creating against us. "Stay tuned for more information on these murders as they become available. Judith Wessex, reporting, Action 10 News."

"Lying bitch!" Just the look on her face and the sound of her voice is driving me crazy. She doesn't know us. She has no right to say those kinds of things about us. Nobody tortured or brutalized anybody. It was all in fun. They were into it.  

Ivar takes the remote from my hand and tucks it into his palm, "You don't need to watch this." He's been extra protective since I woke up in his bed. I can't do anything. He must have really been scared after this last blackout because he won't let anything upset me. Changing the channel, he settles on something non-threatening; Property Brothers. He knows I love that show. "There. That's better."

"I'm fine, Ivar,” I lie, “that bitch on the news just got under my skin.”  I reach over to pick up the ashtray – when did I start smoking so much?  I’m already on my second pack today and I’ve only been awake since noon.  

"I know you are. But you get bothered so easily. I just want you to take it easy." His smooth voice caresses my ears and instantly gives me goosebumps on my arms. But he knows the damage is already done. Standing behind me, he holds his arms out on either side of my head, with his fists out in front of me.  “Left or right?  Pick one.”

I have no idea what’s in his hands, but since we’re both right-handed, I nod toward his right hand.  He tilts my head back so I’m looking up at him.  “Open up.”  I obediently do as I’m told and feel three pills of varying size hit my tongue. 

He quickly places a kiss on my forehead as I sit up to swallow the pills dry. Turning in my seat, I watch as he drops the pills from his left hand into his mouth.  He holds his tongue out for me to see his four pills before his tongue darts back into his mouth.

“What was that?” I try to swallow hard enough to make the pills slide down my throat.  Hopefully, it’s something that’ll make me stop wanting to throw this fucking television out of the window.  

Ivar shrugs and smiles, “Fuck if I know.  I found them in my coat pocket.  Guess we’ll find out shortly.”  He picks up the dishtowel that he had sat down on the back of the couch and slings it over his shoulder, "Anyway, Serk, that shit that reporter said wasn't true. She's just trying to fuck with us. Trying to make us slip up." He starts to walk out of the room but stops and turns around with a huge smile.  "Maybe we should party with her." His smile immediately fades when he sees how upset she's made me. "Awe, brother… don't worry about that bitch. I'll kill her if you want."

"They know what we look like, Ives."

"How many white guys are there in the world, Serk? They can’t even agree on my goddamn hair color.” He leans against the wall and folds his arms across his chest. “I took care of everything. No one knows. No one will ever find out." There is such honesty and power in his voice that I can’t help but trust that he believes this.  I know he wouldn’t chance anything getting in the way of the life that we've built together.

But, there’s still that part of me that fears that our world is about to come crashing down around us. What would I do if I didn’t have this outlet or God forbid they took Ivar away from me? 

"I can't handle this shit anymore. Fucking bitch reporters are lying on us. Stupid fucking cops are trying to dig shit up and sticking their pig noses where they don't belong." Everything as of late is running through my mind. This use to be so much fun, but now everyone else is fucking it up. "Something wrong with me. My blackouts are getting worse.  We went out and I can't remember it. I can't remember jack shit from the past week! Who the fuck blacks out for a whole week?  How long can I go on like this before something really fucked up happens?" 

It feels like my throat is closing and I’m starting to sweat.  My heart rate is speeding up and I think I’m about to die.  I can’t breathe.  Jesus, why does Ivar put up with me when I'm like this? "I'm fucking up at work. Fucking Ub is gonna come here and start asking questions. Thora’s gonna fucking leave me.  You're gonna get tired of taking care of me! Shit's just all fucked up." I sit forward with my arms on my thighs and try to catch my breath.  I try so hard not to give into the fear, but fuck if I'm not feeling it leak out of my pores. 

This is why I need Ivar.  Thora could never handle me like this. I can't even handle me when I get like this. "I don't know how much more I can take, Ivy. I can't do this shit, no more! I can't."  All the air I’m trying to gulp in isn’t helping at the moment.

Standing before me with a concerned look on his face, he shifts his weight from one leg to the other. "Hvitserk Ragnarsson." And there it is - that voice that I fucking hate.  That voice Father used to keep us in line.  Ivar rarely uses that voice, but when he does it immediately gets my attention.  I look at him obediently as he sits on the edge of the couch next to me and studies my face.

The amount of emotion in me is overwhelming and before his hand even reaches up to touch my hair, my throat starts to ache, my head hurts and my eyes are stinging. Shit. 

Ivar's arms around me remind me just how much I need him and how important he is to me. "I'm sorry." I lean my head back on the pillow and let the tears run down my face. I’m so embarrassed and tired of always losing my shit.  But true to form, his arms are around my neck and he presses his lips to my cheek and coos sweetly in my ear until I feel my fear dissipates.

With a smile on his face, he turns my head to his. "Better now?" His thumbs trace my tears as he holds my head in his hands. The look in his eyes tells me that everything is going to alright and I believe him. A simple nod of my head convinces him that the worst is over and with that, he places the gentlest kiss on the tip of my nose. I don't how he does it, but he always makes it better. "Come on," he takes my hand to pull me off the couch with him, "I baked cookies."

Now I just feel silly. I had another meltdown and truthfully I can't remember why especially when I see the plate of fresh-baked cookies that he has laid out on the kitchen table. Whatever was wrong with me just moments before seems trivial. It's amazing how he just always seems to know what to do to make everything better.

Ivar's back is to me as he looks out of the kitchen window, but judging by the way his neck is arched, he's taken an interest in something. "We have new neighbors." His voice is distant, almost like he's speaking without thinking.  He can’t tear his eyes away from whatever is outside, but his head turns the slightest bit to face me.  

I’ve never seen him entranced this before. Ivar never fixates. These neighbors must be amazing.

I stuff a chocolate chip cookie into my mouth and pick up another one on my way to the window. He's right. A new young couple is moving in right next door and the woman is exceptionally beautiful. Her eyes are big and bright, her face is like silk and she has this refreshingly innocent look about her. It's enough to remind me that I haven't called Thora since the last night she was here.

Then there's the guy with her. There's something in the proud way he stands... the way his muscles protrude from the sleeves of his t-shirt, and the powerful way in which he slips his arms around her and lifts her off the ground…It makes my top lip sweat and a tingle start at the base of my skull. 

I can't move. I can only stand here and chew my cookie as I watch these beautiful creatures in front of me. “They are perfect,” My voice comes out like a dream.  I don’t even recognize the sound of it. 

As soon as I look over at him and see that gleam in his eye, I know that he already knows. They are perfect.

He lifts my hand to his mouth and takes a bite of the cookie I'm holding. "Yes. They. Are." Chewing, he nods his head and smiles. "We should welcome them to the neighborhood." He always says that the only way to get over the last one is to take a new one. The more I think about it, the more sense it makes.

Something happened with the last girl. Something bad enough to make me forget the most important things. I wish I could remember that night because I want to know that I showed her a good time, but I don't want to remember why I lost control. It's no use worrying about it now. I can't dwell on old memories. I can only look forward to making new ones. New memories with my new neighbors.

No matter what I've done before or how I feel about it now, the only thing I can concentrate on at this very moment is the dull gnawing in my gut. I need something to keep my mind off of all of this shit. 

I need this. I need them. I may always be fighting with the half a conscience I have, but the growling inside of me is usually much louder than it.

The beast inside of me is awake again. And it's so damn hungry.

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[eleanor-writes-stuff]

keep calm and let HR handle it [IV/VI]

Rey managed to go a full year without ever directly interacting with her new CEO, but now it seems like he’s dropping by her office every single week.

(Because what else is a love-struck fool to do when he falls for his head of HR other than find reasons to visit her department?)

OR: five times Ben gets summoned down to HR, and one time Rey gets called into the CEO’s office, based on this prompt from @optimisticsprinkles​: “Rey as the director of HR at [office] and Kylo/Ben starts finding reasons to be sent down to HR”.

On the second anniversary of Han’s death, Rey is contacted by multiple concerned parties regarding the well-being of one Ben Solo, CEO. Hurt/comfort (of the touchy and cuddly kind) ensues.

Chapter 3 Also available on AO3. And hey, maybe check out my Twitter and Ko-fi?

To: ben_solo@organafoundation.com From: rey_niima@organafoundation.com Subject: Meeting?

Hey Ben,

Would you mind dropping by for a quick meeting today? I’m free all day, so just come by whenever you can.

Warm regards, Rey Niima, Head of Human Resources, The Organa Foundation.

 To: rey_niima@organafoundation.com From: ben_solo@organafoundation.com Subject: Re: Meeting?

Hi Rey,

I’m always happy to visit, but I feel like I should ask… what did I do this time?

Best regards, Ben Solo, Chief Executive Officer, The Organa Foundation.

 To: ben_solo@organafoundation.com From: rey_niima@organafoundation.com Subject: Re: Meeting?

Nothing bad, I promise. Just thought you might want to talk.

(And before you ask: no, Mitaka wasn’t the one to tattle on you. Don’t scare him!)

Warm regards, Rey Niima, Head of Human Resources, The Organa Foundation.

 To: rey_niima@organafoundation.com From: ben_solo@organafoundation.com Subject: Re: Meeting?

I’ll be there in half an hour.

Best regards, Ben Solo, Chief Executive Officer, The Organa Foundation.

 “So if Mitaka wasn’t the one to tattle,” Ben says as he walks into her office, forgoing his usual knock, “who was?”

Rey is still consumed by indecision and doubt as he walks to her, but one look at him and she’s sure she made the right choice to call him into her office. The smile he’s giving her doesn’t reach his eyes, and the way he seems to almost collapse into the chair she’s begun to think of as his fills her with concern.

I don’t know, he just seems off, Finn had said with a frown at lunch.

At least you’ve actually seen him, Jessika had replied. He’s been so quiet I was beginning to wonder if he even came in today.

She’s almost ashamed that it had taken Poe’s reminder for her and the others to put all the pieces together. Go easy on him, it’s a tough day.

Tough might be the understatement of the century, given that today is the second anniversary of Han’s death.

Rey takes a moment to brace herself for the conversation ahead before she offers him a small smile. “Let’s just say it was a number of concerned parties.”

“I figured you take your job seriously, but I didn’t realize you’ve gone to the extent of setting up a network of spies to check on everyone’s wellbeing,” Ben teases, but there’s no hiding the hollowness in his voice, the dull look in his eyes, the quivering curve of his lips as if they’re shaking from the strain of maintaining his smile.

“Not everyone,” Rey tells him, and leaves it at that for him to make of it what he will. She’s not quite sure what to make of it herself, the fact that everyone had seen fit to bring their concerns about Ben to her and unanimously decide that she’s the only one qualified to reach out to him on this day.

Whatever the hidden message is, he seems to get it.

Slowly, inevitably, Ben collapses under the strain of his act. It’s a heartbreaking, intimate thing to witness: how his mask gives way to barely-concealed pain, how his shoulders slump in defeat, how he leans forward as if to reach out for her.

“You know what today is, don’t you?” he murmurs, resting his loosely knitted-together hands on her table.

Rey moves closer and reaches across the desk to curl one hand above his. “I do.”

He closes his eyes, draws a shaky breath, and slowly exhales before meeting her eye. “Do you know what happened? The real story, not the one they told everyone else,” he clarifies, and at this point Rey really shouldn’t be surprised anymore.

The official version of events, the one that claims legendary F1 driver Han Solo had somehow lost control of his car on a rainy night and fatally crashed into a tree, should never have held up to scrutiny. But everyone had been too busy mourning his loss and adjusting to his absence to linger on the cruel twist of fate that had taken him then, and no one has been in the mood to poke at barely-healed wounds since.

“No,” she says quietly; unnecessarily if the look on Ben’s face is anything to go by. He nods before she’s even really formed the word, just one tiny, tired dip of his head.

“Barely anyone has,” he whispers. “And only once from me, just enough for my mom to know that… to know that it’s my fault, that I’m the reason–” He falters then, pulls his hands away from hers and brings them up to hide his face instead as his shoulders start to shake and a single, strangled cry rings out in the stillness of her office.

Her first instinct is to rush out of her chair and to his side, to take him into her arms and hold him close, but Rey hesitates. Even after all these weeks of getting to know each other and growing closer, even after a few happy hours spent curled up together while she shared painful details of her past, this is somehow still uncharted territory for them. Ben is open and honest with her, always has been since that very first day, but she’s never seen him vulnerable and hurting like this.

Rey wonders if anyone has in recent years, if Ben has anyone else in the world to hold him and comfort him. And that thought alone is enough to make her brush away her hesitance and go to him, offering him wordless comfort as she wraps her arms around his shoulders and lets him hide his tears in her embrace. She thinks she can feel every single drop of his anguish, scalding hot as they soak through her shirt while she cards one hand through his hair.

“I didn’t know,” Ben finally mumbles against her stomach. It takes him a little while longer to find the strength to pull away from her, and when he does her heart breaks for him all over again. He looks so young like this, with the sad eyes of a lost child drowning in his own grief. “I didn’t know he’d been drinking that night–”

Neither had she until this exact moment, but Rey keeps quiet.

“I didn’t even stop to think, about him or Mom or anyone else, I was just so focused on myself like always, I called him up because I’d finally seen the truth and I was so lost and scared and I needed him and a part of me just knew that he’d help me come home even after everything, that he’d do anything and everything for me…” Ben chokes on a sob, takes a moment to breathe while Rey tries to help him with little sounds of comfort and reassurance and support.

“Dad… Dad hated drunk drivers, always had,” he says, voice thin and shaky but there nonetheless. “He thought they were the most selfish, awful people on the road, for putting other people at risk like that. And no matter what everyone else said, no matter how they’d try to goad or trick or flatter him into driving, surely the great Han Solo can’t be defeated by just a couple beers– no matter what, he never, ever drove under the influence… until that night. Until me and my selfish call and the fucking mess I’d made and dragged him into–”

He’s shaking again, but not from sorrow this time. Rey crouches down, cradles his face in her hands and keeps his eyes on hers. “Hey. Hey. Shh, just breathe. Don’t do this to yourself, Han wouldn’t have wanted–”

Ben shakes his head, but gently enough not to dislodge her grip. “You don’t understand, Rey. If it weren’t for me, he would never have gotten on the road that night. If it weren’t for me, he wouldn’t be dead. But I called him and he didn’t even stop to ask questions, didn’t even hesitate, just promised me that everything was going to be okay, that he’d be there right away–”

She doesn’t need Ben to finish the story, not that he seems capable of it right now. They know how the story ends; everyone knows the ending even if they don’t know the rest of it.

Han never made it.

“I waited on the curb outside my office for an hour,” he says – quieter now, darker now. “One whole hour, and I never once thought to worry about him, I was so fucking trapped in my own mind. I spent an hour cursing my father out for failing me once again, and all the while he was dying because of me.”

The pain in Ben’s voice is palpable, but the hatred… the hatred is unbearable.

“Ben.” She tightens her grip on him, looks him straight in the eye even as her vision swims with tears. “Ben, listen to me: Han… god, I hate saying this, but Han didn’t have much time left and we all knew it. We did,” she insists when he begins to shake his head. “You know better than anyone else the kind of shit he got up to when he was younger, the kind of shit he kept doing even after he’d grown far too old for it. The man had two heart attacks in two years, Ben, Christ, it was a miracle he even lived through the first one, let alone the second.”

When she’d told Han as much the day she went to visit him in the hospital despite his protests, he’d laughed weakly and told her that his whole damn life was a miracle, that he’d been living on borrowed time since the day he was born and one of these days, kid, one of these days…

“There was nothing any of us – not you, not me, not Leia, not even the best doctors in the world – none of us could have done anything,” Rey says, as much for Ben’s benefit as her own. And for the very first time, she believes it, accepts it, makes her peace with it. It’s the only way she can encourage Ben to do the same. “But you know what you did do?”

“Other than speed up his death?” Ben mutters darkly, almost petulantly as he tries his best to avoid her eyes. Rey gives him a little pinch on his cheek for that, and nearly laughs at the stupefied look he gives her for it.

“We’ll have none of that, or I’ll go for the other cheek,” she warns him, lips twitching with amusement despite herself. “And no, that’s not it. Ben,” Rey softens, slides her hands into his hair and finally gives into the smile tugging at her lips. “Ben, you gave him the one thing he wanted more than anything in the world: you gave him his son back.”

“But I–”

Rey shakes her head, pulls him back from the edge before he can drown again. “I spent a lot of time with your parents – you already know why.” He’d unlocked that level of Tragic Backstory just two weeks ago, after Finn and Poe bought everyone several rounds of drinks to celebrate their decision to finally move in together after working through their ridiculous fight from last month. “And all they wanted, the both of them, was for you to come home. You came home that night, Ben. The second you made that call and reached out to him, you came home.”

She waits for the tears to come, his and hers both, but Ben just stares at her instead, lips parted with no words to speak, eyes gleaming with something other than tears.

God, the way he’s looking up at her right now…

Rey finally gives into the urge to pull him close, to rest her forehead against his and just smile. “Ben, if he could see you today… I promise you, he’d be so proud, and happy, and he wouldn’t regret a single thing, Ben. Not if this is what it all led to.”

It’s not easy, resisting the urge to open her eyes and see if she’s getting through to him, but Rey chooses to trust in the truth, to believe in Ben. She stays still instead, patiently waiting for him to let her know what he needs. It doesn’t take long for him to lower his head and tuck himself under her chin, for him to curl into her waiting arms and just… stay there, for what feels like a lifetime.

But this time, his tears don’t hurt.

They heal.

. . .

Oops, looks like we hit an unexpectedly rough path of angst there. Sorry about that, but I can promise it's all smooth sailing ahead! Only two chapters left, so not much of a surprise really. 

Until next time: thank you all for reading, thank you so much for your encouragement and support, and please do like/reblog/comment if you liked this chapter despite the angst!

[clarissaexplainingitall]

COVID update short version:

diagnosed with secondary bacterial pneumonia, managed to get medication to treat that. inhaler has kept me out of the ER for the last 10 days, which is a godsend, and the pneumonia is drastically improving, though the COVID is still there and probably going to (new GP’s estimate) take another week to start even remotely feeling like i’m recovering.

slightly longer version (cw medical abuse):

this entire thing is so nightmarish not only because it requires new prescriptions (and for some unholy reason only my neuro checks to make sure i’m not allergic to inactive ingredients in medication she prescribes, why is this so difficult) but also like

threat of having to go into the ER/hospital, which is probably top 5 biggest things that set me into full-blown panic mode, but not only that. no, it’s the looming threat of having to go in alone, with no advocate, and no witnesses. which is at least top 2, up there with needles in or near my nerves as the other champion.

i cannot physically handle being given a hospital band and being thrown to the wolves anymore, because i’ve had so many nightmare-inducing incidents in the past six years that i just can’t physically trust doctors not to kill me if someone isn’t watching them.

inducing allergic reactions despite me informing them multiple times and getting confirmation that they heard me because they didn’t believe me, sometimes despite photographic evidence? check.

fucking up so badly trying to place an iv that ER nurses later balked at the damage, and yelling at me and continuing to try when i politely requested she stop trying and get another nurse until a colleague walked by to see what was taking so long and intervened? check.

conducting outpatient operations that i did not consent to having them do because i needed a PICC placed anyway, so what did it matter if an orthopedic just jammed it right into my elbow while i was unconscious, because he was so just confident he could do it despite never having done that? check.

ending up bleeding profusely in the emergency room not even twelve hours later because he did it wrong, almost gave me more chemical burns, and didn’t put the thing back together correctly after my parents forced him back into the OR to fix it? check.

being stabbed nine times in the arm while crying and pleading for the line placement specialist, who was actually trained in this shit to stop because she was running into my nerve with all her missed line placements, resulting in brachial monoplegia? check. 

pushing a line in so far despite my protests that they sent me into afib? check.

like, this is all in addition to not being listened to, my genetic disorder being discredited because they don’t believe me about that, not taking concerns about their decisions or even non-skeptical questions about treatment or diagnosis seriously.

so the tldr, probably should have gone to the hospital day 3, did not do that and managed to pull myself through it with sheer spite and terror alone (and liberal use of albuterol).

at least i got to put the next withdrawal off a month.

[padfootagain]

I can't believe I reached 3k followers!!! Thank you all so much!! When I started this blog, I hoped to reach 100 followers one day, and now here we are!

So to thank you all and mark the date, I'm making a little event! The theme is simple : movies!

What is it all about?

Under the cut are a list of prompts and scenes from different movies. You can choose between two different things that you would like me to write:

-        You can choose between 1 and 5 prompts along with a character and I will write a one-shot based on these prompts for the character you have chosen

-        You can choose one scene in the list and a character, and I will re-write that scene for the character you have chosen

A few rules to follow if you want to send a request.

-        If you request for the prompts :

- You can request up to 5 prompts, not more

- You can add a few details that you would like to be featured in your request if you have precise ideas

 -        If you request a scene :

- I will write a one-shot that is inspired by that scene, not the exact same scene (obviously, otherwise, where is the fun?). The idea is to get the same spirit and some references, or the same situation, but not a simple copy.

- These scenes will require me to turn AU!, so don't be surprised.

- You can request only one scene, so choose wisely ;)

- I will most likely 'erase'  the characters who were in the original scenes, so don't be surprised.

 No matter if you request for prompts or for a scene :

- You can request for any character on my masterlist, no matter if I've already written for them or not.

- I have no trouble with anons, if you're a little shy. So don't hesitate to send a request on anon if you feel more comfortable this way.

- Please, send me your request through my askbox and not in a PM. It's much easier for me to manage, and I might forget about your request if you send it to me privately. If you're shy, send an ask on anon.

- Sadly, I will probably not be able to write all the requests that are sent my way. I will write as many as I can, but I'm only human. I'm sorry if I don't get to write your request. But I invite you to send it anyway, because I might write your request! If you don't send it, then you can be sure that I won't though. Again, I'm sorry if I can't write all the requests I receive, but I usually get too many to be able to write them all.

 Requests for this event will be up for one week, which means until January 14!

Considering how well this event works, I may change that date along the way.

Thank you all again and I hope you like this event :D

Prompts :

Every prompt is a movie quote. The movie it comes from is written under the quote in italic

 1. "Was that a joke?"

"What if it was?"

"I don't like jokes!"

"I don't like you!'

Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

 2. "Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking, nerf-herder!"

Star Wars : The Empire Strikes Back

 3. "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban

 4. "Well… my philosophy is that worrying means you suffer twice."

Fantastic Beasts And Where To Find Them

 5. "A heart's a heavy burden."

Howl's Moving Castle

 6. "You're far away, where are you?"

"In a world that's disappearing, I'm afraid."

The Sound Of Music

 7. "No, I'm not mad. I… I'm hurt, and disappointed and… and mad."

Funny Face

 8. "I'm always gonna love you."

"I'm always gonna love you too."

La La Land

 9. "I'll just take my ego for a walk…"

An Affair To Remember

 11. "Would you like to stay for dinner?"

"Would you like to stay forever?"

Mulan

 12. "At midnight, I'll turn into a pumpkin and drive away in my glass slipper. And that will be the end of the fairytale."

Roman Holiday

 13. "Strange, isn't it? Each man's life touches so many other lives. When he isn't around, he leaves an awful hole, doesn't he?"

It's A Wonderful Life

 14. "Whatever crimes I commit against you, remember, I have diplomatic immunity in 46 countries. Including Puerto Rico."

The Princess Diaries : Royal Engagement

 15. "Anything can happen if you let it."

Mary Poppins

 16. "Life is suffering. It is hard. The world is cursed. But still you find reasons to keep on living."

Princess Mononoke

 17. "Everything is possible. Even the impossible."

Mary Poppins Returns

 18. "Love isn't a thinking thing. It's a feeling thing."

Playing It Cool

 19. "That is one big pile of shit."

Jurassic Park

 20. "I love you."

"I know."

Star Wars : The Empire Strikes Back.

 21. "Sadness, anger, hate… we were not allowed to express anything. So no, how do we express love?"

Dear Zindagi

 22. "Carpe Diem. Seize the day, boys. Make your lives extraordinary."

Dead Poets Society

 23. “Always believe in yourself. Do this and no matter where you are, you will have nothing to fear.”

The Cat Returns

 24. "I'll probably lose my citizenship for that."

Mission Impossible III

 25. "Oh, don't waste my time with flattery."

"Not to seem rude, but I wasn't actually talking to you."

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe.

 26. "But in the end, it's only a passing thing, this shadow. Even darkness must pass."

The Lord Of The Rings: The Two Towers

 27. " I guess we need to register you as a lethal weapon."

Lethal Weapon

 28. "Just because it is, doesn't mean it should be."

Australia

 29. "It does not do well to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone

 30. "A lot of people are in love… but none can love like me, because they don't have you."

Kal Ho Naa Ho

 31. "Just follow your heart. And keep smiling."

Kiki's delivery service

 32. "That look in your eyes is a pain in my arse, you know that, right?"

Mission Impossible III

 33. "Can we take a flight back to reality, or do we have to change planes in Denver?"

The Santa Clause

 34. "Yippie-Ki-Yay, motherfucker."

Die Hard

 35. "I retire for like five minutes and it all goes to shit."

The Avengers

 36. "Would you like to know the probability of her using it against you? It's high."

"Let's get going."

"It's very high…"

Star Wars : Rogue One

 37. "I'm too old for this."

Lethal Weapon

 38. "Oh yes, the past can hurt. But the way I see it, you can either run from it or learn from it."

The Lion King

 39. "Now, think of the happiest things. It's the same as having wings."

Peter Pan

 40. "I'm in love with you."

"So what?"

"So what? So plenty! I love you! You belong to me!"

"No. People don't belong to people."

Breakfast at Tiffany's

 41. "It's called Karma. And it's pronounced 'Ha! '"

Mamma Mia: Here We Go Again

 42. "Whoa, lady, I only speak two languages: English and bad English."

The Fifth Element

 43. "You were my new dream."

Tangled

 44. "Any question?"

"Yeah. Could we get a cappuccino machine in here? Cause I don't know how you call this."

Mission Impossible

 45. "I'm not used to people sticking around when things go bad."

"Welcome home."

Star Wars : Rogue One

 45. "Stop, you'll kill them!"

"That's the idea!"

The Mummy

 46. "Probably best not to tell anyone about this."

"Right, no one. I mean, I'll tell myself sometimes but don't worry, I won't believe it."

Notting Hill

 47. "Once you've met someone, you never really forget them."

Spirited Away

 48. "I hit my head on something."

"Yeah, my head!"

Balto

 49. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Are you okay to drive? A minute ago, you were dead."

"What are you talking about?"

"This is not going to end well."

Mission Impossible : Rogue Nation

 50. "I've got a bad feeling about this…"

Star Wars

 51. "A little consideration, a little thought for others, makes all the difference."

Winnie The Pooh

 52. "If she loves you then she will turn around and look at you... turn around... turn around!"

Dilwale Dulhania Le Jayenge

 53. "Can I stay for a while?"

"Stay forever."

Notting Hill

 54. "Promise me one thing: don't take me home until I'm drunk - very drunk indeed."

Breakfast at Tiffany's

 55. "This California dew is a little heavier than usual tonight."

"Really? From where I stand the sun is shining all over the place."

Singin' In The Rain

 56. "You need to stop carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders."

Spider-Man: Homecoming

 57. "Who ever said the human race was logical?"

Star Trek IV : The Voyage Home

 58. "Blow up the car."

"Oh, it's such a nice car…"

"And yet, do it."

Mission Impossible III

 59. "Why complicate things that are really quite simple?"

Mary Poppins

 60. "Who are you?"

"Your worst nightmare."

Mulan

 61. "You said 'whoopsidaisies'."

"I don't think so. No one says 'whoopsidaisies', do they? Unless they're…"

"There is no 'unless'. No one has said 'whoopsidaisies' for fifty years and even then it was only little girls with blonde ringlets."

Notting Hill

 62. "I've a feeling we're not in Kansas anymore."

The Wizard Of Oz

 63. "Are you out of your corn-fed mind?!"

Star Trek : Into Darkness

 64. "You're a good man, with a good heart. And it's hard for a good man to be king."

Black Panther

 65. "It is mine to give to whom I will. Like my heart."

The Lord of the Rings : The Fellowship of the Ring

 66. "There's no place like home…"

The Wizard Of Oz

 67. "I'm with you till the end of the line"

Captain America : First Avenger

 68. "You deserve better than this. You deserve people who value you. You deserve to go somewhere where you can be proud of who you are."

The Shape Of Water

 69. "No matter how many weapons you have, no matter how great your technology might be, the world cannot live without love."

Castle In The Sky

 70. "There is nothing more reassuring than realizing that the world is crazier than you are."

Thor: The Dark World

 71. "I would rather share one lifetime with you than face all the ages of this world alone."

The Lord of the Rings : The Fellowship of the Ring

 72. "I love her."

"Does she love you?"

" I don't know now. Yesterday, you weren't alive."

"Well, I apologize for not being dead in a ditch."

"I don't think I can accept your apology."

"Is that a joke?"

"Yes, yes, sort of. I'm not... I've never been very good at jokes."

Salmon Fishing In The Yemen

 73. "English, motherfucker, do you speak it?"

Pulp Fiction

 Scenes :

The links to the scenes on youtube are set in the titles of the movies, so it can be easier for you to choose. I'll re-write the scene entirely so you and the character of your choice can live it ;) It can be set either in the universe of the character you have chosen or the universe of the original scene depending on the scene you choose.

 1. Indiana Jones : Raiders Of The Lost Ark

You are so close to finding this lost treasure. Bad for you that you have fallen in a cave filled with deathly traps.

 2. Jurassic Park

You thought you would enjoy a nice weekend discovering an amazing scientific breakthrough. Now, here you are, hiding from a T-Rex and wondering how you got yourself in this situation…

 3. The Shop Around The Corner / You've Got Mail

You have a date with someone tonight, but you don't know who. All you know is that you are to meet in that café. All turns crazy when your date is actually this colleague of yours whom you hate… kinda…

 4. L'Arnacoeur

Your family engaged him/her to seduce you, so you would break your engagement with this guy they hate. Bad luck that for once, he/she falls for you too…

 5. Love Affair / An Affair To Remember / Sleepless In Seattle

It's love at first sight. But perhaps the two of you are getting ahead of yourselves. You give each other a bit of time to think, and set up to meet at the top of the Empire State Building, if in six months, you still feel the same for each other. But will you both be there?

 6. The Chronicles Of Narnia: Prince Caspian

The only way to win this war is to earn more time. And a fight one on one with your enemy is the best way you can come up with. But who will survive the fight? Will it be enough?

 7. The Lord Of The Rings : The Fellowship Of The Ring

You are trapped in Moria. A Balrog chasing after you. This looks pretty bad… yep… that's bad…

 8. Roman Holiday

You are a princess in your country, but for one day, you have managed to escape your duties, and you are now roaming through the streets of Roma. A stranger helps you through the streets of the city and you spend a magical day…

 9. The Holiday

You have exchanged your house for the holiday with a woman in England. You expected a quiet week, but that was before you would meet the woman's brother…

 10. The Lake House

Through your mail box, you somehow receive letters from the man who used to live in your house 5 years ago. Through the letters you exchange, you slowly start to develop feelings for each other. Until one day you decide to meet, and set up a date. But he never comes. You realize that he didn't come because he had died during these five years that separated the two of you. But you may have one last chance to save him…

[leonbastralle]

I Feel Like I’ve Missed A Week - Replies

tumblr has been very hungry for comments again so I don’t know if I got them all :/

alfalfalegacy replied to your photoset  “newsflash: aureus miracle still sucks at video games”

Don't drag him like this 

he is my most precious tiger and I will absolutely drag him whenever I want to because I LOVE HIM

melien replied to your photoset

I look at him and I feel warm and fuzzy help

ashfmbaksjfbaksjfbaksjfbasasd AAAA I CAN’T HELP BUT THIS IS GREAT

melien replied to your photoset “Charlotte: Yes, sweetie, I did. You’re not all that plain, you know?...”

Connie: yo your one hot hot baby

I’m so proud of her she’s so good at this

melien replied to your photoset “S: Hey, buddy. What’s wrong? You seem bl…I mean, down today. G: It’s...”

Brooooooooomance

I love that this happened tbh...everyone else just always ends up insulting Shine? He’s the only one who rly gets along with him and it’s beautiful Shine deserves a good work buddy

melien replied to your post “I feel lost”

I'm late with starbucks as usual but if you still feel lost you can have a hug! And if you're feeling better you can still have a hug

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER AAAAA ;_; yes I’d like a hug but I have a cold so you gotta be careful! Also you too deserve a huuuge hug for all that catching up ;_;

melien replied to your photoset “G: I felt the same way about Mel and Pathi at first. But let me tell...”

Can I tell you one thing? You always handle these Important Convos in the best possible way and I just need more of them in my life

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA????????? I’M

AHFBAJHSGFBAJSHGBAJSHBAJSHFASD

I hope I can cater to your needs friend ;_; I need to cherish this comment forever

melien replied to your photoset

Their hugs always melt my heart a little bit because they're so good and pure

;_; they’re great huggers there’s so much hugging in this household and just...everywhere this save never fails to warm my heart

amixofpixels replied to your photoset

He does have a wonderful face.

I know, I know ;)

twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset

this face

it does things to me

asfmhasnfjkansfgas are you ok auntie???

bouquet-of-scissors replied to your photoset “Shimmer: Hey, bro! What happened to your beard? Sparkle: I love it!...”

#flowerbeardforever <3

sadly not forever (it’s glitching on some work outfits so I didn’t keep it for too long) but it will certainly be back!

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “T: Good to see you in one piece, papa! A: Hah, yeah. I’m glad too....”

theyre so cute i die

add protective!trellis to anything to make it 10 times cuter also add stupid shiny ex president to anything to make it 50 times cuter add both to get a cutesplosion

sugarsimms replied to your photoset “It’s been too long.”

<3 <3

i knOWWWW MY FAVE ;_;

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “HAPPY TWO MONTHS SNOWDRIFTICUSVERSARY!!! I thought as a celebration...”

also dang snowdrift i too want a boyfriend face shirt

step 1: get a boyfriend with a good face

step 2: get an awesome friend with skills to surprise you with a shirt on your birthday so hard that you forget how to breathe

i hope this guide was helpful!!!

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “HAPPY TWO MONTHS SNOWDRIFTICUSVERSARY!!! I thought as a celebration...”

i know im a filthy but are u sure its not that????? not a lil bit of.......... ne ck....... st uff???

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!! I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL! FLAMEUS IS...”

!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :oo

;) !!!!!

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “G: I know you’ve been working a lot of overtime to fix up the...”

Why do I have a bad feeling about this..... You wouldn't do anything to them, would you?

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “G: I know you’ve been working a lot of overtime to fix up the...”

djsdhfdsfdhfdhsdfsfdhdfs WHATS GOING ON LAZURITE WHAT AR E U DOING

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “S: Hey buddy! Feeling better today? G: Uh, sure! What…happened to your...”

:o never trust an offer by a lazurite

guys i pROMISE THERE IS NO NEED TO WORRY ;_; these two will be safe i just wanted them out of the house (rude i know) and i thought why not make another dream come true for my soft flower boy?

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “?: Heeeeeeeeeeeeeey boss, since when are you so hot? S: It seems the...”

ew leave my son alone pls

i know i know theyre all crazy for him its terrible

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “A flowery scientist is on the loose! (and special thanks to...”

im SO IN LOVE IM CRYING THIS SOFT BOY

sAME

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Shine: Hey, I know you kinda hate me and the feeling is mutual, but my...”

ur gotdang right and im also crying kill him shine

im sorry but thats not happening thats not the murder plot

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Shine: Hey, I know you kinda hate me and the feeling is mutual, but my...”

(U CAN FALL IN LOVE WIT UR NEMESIS)

(I SURE LOV TO PUT BRACKETED HINTS IN TAGS)

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “C: Good, thank you. T: How good exactly? You WERE out, after all, and...”

yeeeeeees IM SO READY FOR THIS IVE BEEN WAITING FOR FLOWERBEARD SHINE

GHNVAFJAHBSJKAHBSGJAHBSGJAHSASD I HOPE ITS ENOUGH MAN

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “T: Can you believe that? As if it was my fault they can’t afford good...”

i cant believe the amount of savagery in this family....... i lov them so much

me too man...idk where it came from but now that its there i lov it and wish id gone full murder plot just to explore the full extent of savagery

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Charlotte: Alright, Connie. Thank you for this afternoon, I had a...”

me too man me too

;)

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Charlotte: Hey, look! This cloud looks like a cowplant! Conifer: Ohhhh...”

SOFSDFJFD in portugal we say "só precisas de amor e uma cabana" which is more or less all u need is love and a cabin so are they gonna bangaroni there??

ok bUT HOW IS YOUR LANGUAGE SO GR8????? this is som wisdom i wholeheartedly agree with

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Charlotte: That must be tough. I can’t judge, I have no...”

chARLOTTES HONESTY IM CRYING THIS IS SO GOOD

THANK U THANK U THANK U

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Conifer: Anyway, now that you’ve gotten past the big reveal, I feel...”

makes sense shed b a nurse bc everytime i see charlotte im like hELLO NURSE

<.<

tbh all i can think of lately when i hear the word nurse is that one boss art video and it aint so pleasant

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset

charlottes :o face......... it totally gives me lyfe

did u mean: any charlotte face

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “Charlotte: Ahhhhhhh there is nothing quite like a sunny afternoon...”

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAA SO CUUUTE

I KNOW

pixeldemographics replied to your photoset “San Maraschino Meadows Tuesday, 2.56 pm”

charlotte is scoping dat ass *eye emoji*

dO SHE GOT DA BOOTY?

twinsimskeletons replied to your photoset “HAPPY TWO MONTHS SNOWDRIFTICUSVERSARY!!! I thought as a celebration...”

bat...fucking?

(please don’t freak out it doesn’t happen but yes this is a line this exists)

twinsimskeletons replied to your post “.”

why were you determined never to listen to them again??

I’m crying it was so dumb and I’m still really ashamed I don’t know Jan2017!Annie who is she

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “HAPPY TWO MONTHS SNOWDRIFTICUSVERSARY!!! I thought as a celebration...”

Kinky shit, the best thing in the list by far. XD

really?

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “HAPPY TWO MONTHS SNOWDRIFTICUSVERSARY!!! I thought as a celebration...” 

Cuties 

yes. yes yeS YES YES

simphonics replied to your photoset “A flowery scientist is on the loose! (and special thanks to...”

Ahhh what a cutie pie! 😍

it works so well ♥

bouquet-of-scissors replied to your photoset “Shine: Hey, I know you kinda hate me and the feeling is mutual, but my...”

It's poisoned

I will forever be known as that one simblr who keeps dragging Salim, won’t I? XD

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “S: Okay this is getting creepy…he won’t leave me alone.”

It's the beard, Shine, it's the beard.

certainly.

amixofpixels replied to your photoset “A flowery scientist is on the loose! (and special thanks to...”

Look at that little flower crown beard. It does confuse me on how it's staying up. Sims logic.

same, but I just REALLY had to use it it’s the most Shine beard I’ve ever seen

bouquet-of-scissors replied to your photoset “T: Can you believe that? As if it was my fault they can’t afford good...”

"Want me to freeze them?" ily shine xD

same

monets-pixels replied to your photoset  “Charlotte: Alright, Connie. Thank you for this afternoon, I had a...”

Taking a mini gaycation

I like that word :o tho depending on who you’d ask they would be more likely to either call it a pancation or a nothingwilleverhappenimsafecation

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “C: Good, thank you. T: How good exactly? You WERE out, after all, and...”

I'm ready

we are all ready ;) just my queue isn’t

monets-pixels replied to your photoset “T: Can you believe that? As if it was my fault they can’t afford good...”

Yes Connie how was your gay- I mean day

monets-pixels replied to your photoset

My babe ❤❤❤

♥

amixofpixels replied to your post “Flirtyplies & Seriousplies & Other”

Third, I was worried my booty comment was too inappropriate, so I'm glad you liked it.

I will always like inappropriate comments if they’re not hurtful ;)

amixofpixels replied to your post “Flirtyplies & Seriousplies & Other”

Second, which comment you say? The never listening to FOB contemplation. how dare...

is it bad that I had no idea YOU listened to them? :o

amixofpixels replied to your post  “Flirtyplies & Seriousplies & Other”

There are a few things I would like to say, first, there is no anger, but as stated I will not apologize for the spam.

you call this a spam? friend please we were both here for Robins gen 1 and know what really deserves to be called a spam

[cauldronoflove]

Do you have any headcanons for the El Internado gang having a Disney movie marathon together? Like if Paula convinced Marcos and then they all ended up loving Disney and wanting to watch them all. (If you can I love Marcos/Ivan and Vicky/Julia!) Thank you so much!!

this took,,, so long and i’m so sorry, heres 1.3k of these kids terrorizing one another with sad disney deaths and old childhood crushes bonding

- alright so to set the scene here, it’s spring break or something of the like and the school is mostly cleared out save for The Kids

- so it’s edging on day 3 of break and when all your friends are off doing whatever 8 year olds do on break and you’re alone, 3 days is an Eternity

- thus Paula decides she has to do something, because she has the worst thing you can have as a child aka Boredom

- and so she readies her best puppy dog eyes and lip pout and she marches herself to the boys’ dorm room and she settles herself beside Marcos and she does what baby sisters do

- now, Marcos loves his sister, like a lot, so he finds himself agreeing to Paula’s request to watch a movie with her

- 94% of Marcos’ life is him not realizing what he’s getting himself into so this literally is no different vksnfjs

- Paula thinks that it was way too easy to get Marcos to agree and by golly she didn’t prepare her best puppy dog eyes only to find her brother’s a pushover

- Plus, she remembers how much fun she and Marcos and their parents used to have when they’d build blanket forts in the living room and watch movies until way past her bedtime so she puts 2 & 2 together or rather 2 and 6 and she sets off to pokémon the shit out of the rest of these teenagers

- she has the easiest time finding and convincing Carol, and Carol in turn gathers up Vicky and Julia; Caye’s also an Absolute Pushover, and Roque can’t say no to Caye so there’s the majority of her band; all she has left is Iván

- Marcos, in addition to loving his sister, also dearly loves his boyfriend. and though he is completely jaded when it comes to the former he is Not when it comes to the latter (read: he doesnt want her to catch Iván on one of his off days and for her to get her feelings hurt)

- but Paula is Determined, she’s Stubborn, and she also Does Not Care about Iván’s teenage angst bullshit

- Getting him to agree, she will years later realize, is one of her biggest life accomplishments

- so they pool together what pillows and blankets they can get together and they all turn to vicky bc they figure hey! vic’s smart she can do this.

- Vicky Cant Build A Pillow Fort For Shit

- cut to julia and iván handling it like oh my god (roque: is that a cup holder made out of a pillowcase ? julia, grinning: you bet your ass it is)

- so now that theyre gathered and in a Pillow Castle™ someone (caye’s bc he has every movie ever on his laptop lbr) laptop gets tugged out and they then commence The Great Movie Decision Debate

- they eventually settle on The Little Mermaid (it’s a classic, iván argues; ariel was hot, carol inputs)

- about 20 minutes in everyone Immediately Knows why iván was im favor of the little mermaid

- prince eric, really? marcos asks, definitely not jealous of an animated, completely fictional man or anything

- vicky Loses It bc this is literally the funniest thing that has ever happened to her ever she cant believe she got to witness iván trying to defend himself against marcos’ accusation

- iván gets her back tho lmao

- but he bides his time

- in the mean time they watch

- the lion king: caye loses his shit, he’s straight up sobbing when mufasa dies and he’s got roque on one side and paula on the other and paula’s patting his hand and telling him it’ll be ok

- mulan: why do Roque, Caye, and Iván know be a man by heart why are they so in sync and on tune How Many Times Has This Happened Boys Oh My God Did You Guys Rehearse Choreography

- the fox and the hound: *marcos voice* fUCK-paula dont repeat that-THIS MOVIE

- bambi: iván cries (“no, carol, i’m not, it’s just hot in this fort with all you shits and im sweating”) but it’s chill bc marcos wraps his arms around iván’s waist and rests his head on his shoulder and it’s sweet and iván’s still Definitely Not Crying Thank You V Much Carol but he’ll admit he’s a bit emo ok

- after bambi ends iván thinks it’s abt time for him to exact his revenge so he suggests hercules and VICKY LAUNCHES AT HIM

- (mind you paula is still here, she just migrated abt the fort and is with carol and is content enjoying her movies and her snacks and her convo with carol’s cool gf who’s on skype as vicky tries to murder iván in the bg)

- julia’s intrigued, and so she smiles real sweet at her Best Friend caye and bc he’s a good good friend caye obliges

- julia, 2.2 seconds into the movie: ITS MEG ISNT IT VIC

- vicky, trying to strangle iván over marcos’s laughing form: N-NO SHUT UP

- julia: are you always this articulate ;-)

- vicky, dying and living all at once, no longer trying to kill iván

- carol: Why didnt we see this before julia is totally meg

- roque: thts true

- julia: i cant wait for halloween

- vicky: tht one meme where the dude’s wiping sweat off his brow you know the one

- marcos to iván in the back even tho he hasnt said a word: only if youre ariel

- things start to wind down after tht and they decide maybe one more movie bc it’s gonna be late soon and theyve already decided to end the marathon with paula’s only real request so theyre abt to start tht when caye’s like:

- Wait. we’ve all had our emotions plucked at or embarrassing childhood crushes critiqued What Abt Julia

- julia: i’ll kill you tbh

- marcos: yeah julia what’s Youre movie

- iván: if i have to suffer knowing marcos now Knows then you gotta suffer with vic Knowing too

- julia: …

- julia: thts fair

- julia: caye play aladdin

- vicky: ohmYGOD

- iván: aladdin or jasmine

- julia: *voice crack* STOP

- caye, in tears, having to lean on roque for support or he will literally fall on his face with laughter

- julia, under her breath: both

- marcos, in the back: damn. same.

- it takes Forever for them all to settle down to actually Watch the movie tbh it’s ridiculous but instead of letting them tease her abt it julia ROCKS every single song and yes, she knows every word (julia: ive literally owned multiple vhs copies bc i’d watch it so much they wouldnt rewind Of Course i know every word)

- (for weeks after this marathon everyone quotes movies at each other but marcos and julia’s aladdin quotes are truly Iconic)

- after aladdin ends it’s like 9 so they still have time for paula’s pick aka frozen and god do they go out on a high note tbh

- paula singing, pointedly looking at marcos then flicking her eyes to iván, shrugging: so he’s a bit of a fixer upper

- Also can i just say that carol and paula’s duet of let it go was absolutely the stuff of legends even if that song should have died years ago

- anyway it’s Incredibly Much So after paula’s bedtime by the time theyre done with the movie and paula’s passed out in the corner, vicky and julia have a blanket over their shoulders and are trying not to nod off together, carol’s saying goodnight to her gf who has been in and out on skype all day, marcos and iván are bickering (lovingly??) and roque and caye are Gone (they went to bed lol nerds)

- marcos ends up having to carry paula back to her room and of course iván goes with him and julia and vicky and carol gather what pillows and blankets they Think are theirs and trudge back to their room and all in all it was a Good Night