#of myself in the texts sorry! i too am in love with someone who doesn't acknowledge me and also doesn't exist (the 7th album) really 🤩

[dmumt]

don quixote wasn't even that insane to me idk

[webslingingslasher]

I know we’re all obsessed with frat!peter, but are there any instances where nerdy!peter gets a lil mean too?

for the first time ever, peter is ignoring your call. there are times he's unable to answer, but you know he's purposely watching his phone ring before he silences it.

he's actively ignoring you and you want to scream.

peter doesn't get mad at you. but he is. and it's making everything worse. you can't apologize if he won't talk to you.

it's been two days.

'if you don't call me back in an hour i'm coming over.'

'and yes, that's a threat.'

peter must be really mad. because he didn't answer.

'hi, is peter around?' you can tell may wants to shout the truth, instead she shows solidarity to her nephew. 'sorry, honey. he's out right now.'

you challenge her, 'can i wait for him?' may isn't playing your games, 'he didn't say when he'd be back.'

it's not may's fault, but you still huff at her. 'he has to talk to me at some point.' you see a flush of parent coat over her features.

'sometimes when someone is hurt, they need to think about how to react to it before it gets worse.'

you feel like crying, 'is he really that mad at me?' may slowly closes the door, 'i'm sorry, but peter isn't home.' you want to catch the door and bark out to peter, who you know is holed up in his room, but you respect his space and leave.

it was all your fault. you pushed his harshest barrier and you swear you didn't mean to, it was just the most hurtful thing you could spit out in a moment of fury.

instant regret. you swore you heard peter's heart break the second you finished. his crushing silence hurt more than an equal blow. he just calmly grabbed his backpack and left. and you let him, you were speechless, you couldn't believe the things that came out of your mouth.

you retreat with a few texts.

'i'm sorry, peter. i really, really am.'

'i won't keep bothering you, just talk to me when you're ready.'

'i love you. and i know you love me too, so you don't have to say it back tonight.'

and he doesn't. not when you check before bed and not when you wake the next morning. you've never felt peter's cold shoulder before, but it's icy and stings.

you'd see him on campus and he couldn't ignore you in person, right?

there was only one way to tell, and it was when you saw him sitting at an outside table. scribbling in a notebook while he looked over a textbook and some sheets, he never looked so pretty.

it's selfish, but you want nothing more than to kiss him.

'hi.' sitting backwards, your back hit the edge of the table. if he tells you to fuck off you'll make a quick escape. looking at his side profile he shows no reaction, he was expecting you to join him.

'hi.' peter doesn't share the interest to look at you.

'wanna talk?' you hold your breath, hopeful he'd say yes and you could do your best attempt at damage control.

'not really,' his calm nature unsettles you. you'd rather he spit in your face.

'can i talk?' peter didn't want to talk, but he might listen. you just wanted to make it okay, or try.

you think he agrees just to get you to leave quicker. 'sure.'

anxiety scratches your insides, you've never been so ashamed in your life. it was an odd feeling wanting to do nothing but hold peter close to you while you apologize, while also knowing he wanted nothing to do with your touch.

'i'm sorry. i've never been more sorry for anything in my entire life and i don't know how to make it right. i would do anything to take it back, if i could go back in time to stop myself i would.'

it's unfair, but the reality of the situation hits. tears prickle at your eyes. you just feel so bad.

'i don't know why i said that, and i regretted it the second it left my mouth. i could try to come up with a million excuses, but i said it and i'm taking accountability. i know it doesn't help, but, like...'

you close your eyes, when you open them a tear races down your cheek. you're quick to wipe it. it's not about you.

'i am really fucking disgusted in myself. i'm ashamed and embarrassed and i know i broke your heart. peter, i... i took the darkest part of you and weaponized it. i broke your trust and i am a really, really, really bad girlfriend.'

you deserved the silence. 'you're mad at me and that's fair. i can't say it enough, but i want you to know i'm sorry.'

the last sentence caught his attention, peter shakes his head and laughs under his breath.

'you see, the thing is, i don't think i'm mad. i'm just really fucking hurt. you told me ben was just waiting on someone to put him out of his misery.'

you wince. it sounded so much worse coming from his mouth, it was like the words burnt him and left a bad taste behind. they were seared into his brain. there was nothing in the world to justify what you did.

'you were right. you broke my heart and trust in one go. how do you fix it? i don't know, but i can't even look at you right now. talking to you feels like i'm pulling glass out of my skin.'

'i'm glad you're disgusted with yourself, because i am too.'

there was the blow. it wasn't half as harsh as yours, but it dug deep. you couldn't blame him either. it's entirely too selfish, but you need to know if there's something to work for.

'are you going to break up with me?' you sound sad but you wouldn't blame him if he said yes, you would only blame yourself forever. you don't like how long the silence was, it felt like he was actually thinking about it.

'i don't know.'

three words made you feel empty. the future of your relationship and happiness was a gamble all because you couldn't shut your mouth.

'okay.' it wasn't. 'i know it seems pointless now, because i already failed at it, but i'll never say anything like that ever again. i never, ever wanted to hurt you like this.'

for the first time in three days, peter looks at you. he looks tired.

'you did. that's why you said it. you were mad and i wasn't feeding into it, you got even more upset and said the most hurtful thing you could've to me.'

you're desperate, 'i know! but i swear it wasn't on purpose! i didn't know what i was saying until i said it, and i mean, c'mon peter, you know me. i've never said anything like that before, and i won't ever again.'

peter throws you a bone, maybe he really heard the desperation in your voice. 'i know you're sorry, i know you feel terrible and you wish you could take it back. but that doesn't make it okay. and i need you to understand that.'

you nod quick, 'i do! i understand, i promise.'

peter sees it differently. 'i don't think you do. if you did, you wouldn't be here begging for me to say everything's okay.'

his words make you pause, you see his stance in a different light. your apologies have done nothing but make peter feel like he has to accept them. may said he needed space and you haven't given him any, instead hounding him with texts or forcing him to listen to the same string of sorry's.

you stand, it's very clear to you what needs to happen. if you have any chance of reconciliation. you need to cut contact.

'you're right. i didn't see it like that, but you're right. the second i walk away, i promise i'm done. no more texts, no more surprise visits, no more bothering you on campus. nothing. you come to me when you're ready. no matter the conversation.'

you follow your word and do just that while trying to ignore the worst form of anxiety that crosses over your chest. walking away, unsure if your boyfriend still loved you, was a feeling you wouldn't wish on anyone.

it spreads the longer you hear nothing from peter. was he adjusting to life outside you? should you be doing the same? you didn't realize how much you wrapped peter into your life until he wasn't around.

you had to find a classmate to do revisions with. you had to plan lunch with friends instead of peter. you had to scroll past articles and memes he'd enjoy. you had to stop yourself from texting him a hundred times a day.

the closest you got was a glimpse at his face when he was talking to a friend across campus, he was laughing. you felt relieved knowing he was happy, until you noticed it didn't seem like he missed you all that much.

after four days and all hope lost, you decided it was time to wave the white flag. it was over, if you grieve the relationship now it won't be so bad when he tells you officially. you'd be able to walk away without a panic attack.

while wallowing to yourself in your room, you berate yourself internally for ruining the one true good thing you had. spider-man was entirely too calm when he entered your room right as you felt a tear race down your cheek.

'why are we crying?'

you sit up, you've never been so happy to see the masked hero. until you piece together why he's there, you weren't pre-maturely crying after all.

sniffles around your words, 'cause we broke up.'

the mask is off in a second, 'who said that?' you shrug, the answer is in front of your face. 'isn't it obvious?' peter sits next to you, 'we're not broken up.'

you still don't feel comfortable, 'are we going to be?' peter rewords himself, 'i'm not here to break up with you, no.' 

‘then why are you here?’

peter exhales deeply, a tired excuse of a laugh. ‘i can be upset with my girlfriend and miss her at the same time.’ for just a second, you brighten. ‘you miss me?’

‘yeah. of course i do.’ you almost explode when peter pats your knee, ‘you’re my best friend.’ it’s enough to make you want to cry. you fall into him, an awkward hug, he doesn’t say anything.

‘you’re my best friend too. i missed you so much, i’m so, so, so sorry, peter.’ you melt when a gloved hand rubs your back, it’s not even his skin but you’ve missed his touch so much it’s enough to settle you.

‘it’s okay.’

the words you’ve been looking for, your heart soars. digging your fingertips into his shoulder blades, you hold him tight. ‘is it?’ you don’t want to force him into it.

‘it is.’

except when you remember your words it still doesn’t feel okay. you’re not sure if it ever will. you wonder if that’s what peter was waiting on. 'i don't know, peter. i don't want you to resent me.'

'hey,' you're held at arm's length, peter wants to make sure you're looking at him. 'i took time away so i wouldn't resent you. you really, really hurt my feelings, staying away helped me protect yours.'

you can't imagine the strife you placed on peter, you know actions speak louder than words, but it's a promise to yourself that you will never do anything like it again.

'i'm so sorry, peter. i feel terrible.'

a hint of a smile, 'i know you do. watching you squirm has been a little fun.' you drop your jaw, the nerve. 'oh, you're so mean for that!'

peter cleared his throat, you weren't out of the fog yet.

'but, seriously. that fucking killed me, i mean, i really thought i couldn't breathe. i was just... shocked. shocked more than mad or sad or... i'm not sure.'

you open your mouth, peter stops you, he knows what you're about to say. 'and i don't want you to keep apologizing. it happened, we worked through it, and it doesn't need to keep being mentioned.'

'okay.' it's quiet, you understand what he means, but you feel like you can't explain your sympathy enough.

'ben was one of the most important people in my life and i opened up to you about it. i know it was in the heat of the moment, but you can't use those things against me. it will make me feel like i can't share anything with you.'

'i'm-' peter cut you off with your name, you held your lips closed.

'you're not a bad girlfriend either. you tried. you reached out, you stopped by, you apologized, you stayed away. you did everything you could do to prove how sorry you felt. even if i ignored you, that didn't go unrecognized.'

peter takes a deep breath, 'so,' his hands cup your face, thumbs brush your cheek bones softly. 'i love you, i'm not breaking up with you and it's okay.' peter rubs his nose against yours, 'okay?'

peter isn't saying it's okay because it's fine you talked to him like that. peter's saying it's okay because he sees your imperfections and loves them. peter's saying it's okay because he's said some things he doesn't believe either.

peter's saying it's okay because we're all allowed to fall from grace from time to time.

you want to say sorry, instead you smile and push against his face with your own.

'okay.' 

'good. now give me a kiss, i've been dying for one.'

[potato-lord-but-not]

wife here, I love you too <333 However, I am ever so slightly offended (not really) that the reason you'd assume that previous ask wasn't me is because of the lack of sources and not that it says "love you" without the "I" when my brain was permanently wired to do my absolute best to never ever ever do that to you after reading

Do you remember the way the girls would call out “love you!” conveniently leaving out the “I” as if they didn’t want to commit to their own declaration.

I agree that the “I” is a pretty heavy concept and hope you won’t get uncomfortable if I should go into some deeper stuff here. (Berman par. 19-20)

two years ago. I mean no offense to people who do that, especially since in other contexts I also say "love you". But when it comes to you I never want to be someone who doesn't commit to my own declarations. I love you. And that is a declaration that I am committed to, and want ownership of and responsibility for. And I feel a little weird about sending you this as a tumblr ask and not a text or something, but that seems antithetical to what I'm saying. Being slightly obnoxious by sending you my declarations of love publicly feels like the same sort of thing as making sure to say the "I". Like how you're required to have witnesses at a wedding.

I love you so much. I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I will never be over the fact that I get to say that. My love for you is a fact of the universe, so I might as well use all three words.

Works Cited (sorry, you asked for it)

Berman, David. “Self-Portrait at 28.” Poets.Org, Academy of American Poets, poets.org/poem/self-portrait-28.

No you’re so right actually, and bold of me to assume you’d send an ask that wasn’t a paragraph or two long. But anyway, I love you moreee I haven’t even read the poem but I find myself consciously adding the “I” whenever I type “love you”, cus you deserve for someone to say it with their whole chest… I love you <3

[theloveoffootball10]

sᴛɪᴄᴋᴡɪᴛᴜ - ᴛ ʜ ɪ ʀ ᴛ ʏ ᴛ ᴡ ᴏ

m a s t e r l i s t

ᴛ ʜ ɪ ʀ ᴛ ʏ ᴛ ᴡ ᴏ

Come Monday morning I am physically drained. I don't want to go into the office, I can't face anyone so I decided on working from home not that I can say I'm doing much work. I find myself staring blankly at the screen more than anything else. I should still be in Austin or at least just arriving back from Austin if all of this didn't happen.

I don't have it in me to text my friends and let them know what has happened. I've had some messages after the pictures of me slapping Lando were posted but no one has any idea I've came home early. They'll all just assume I'm quiet due to the time difference, it wouldn't be the first time.

Sitting in the kitchen during my lunch break I pick at the salad in front of me. I have no interest in eating food lately but I eat the bare minimum when I have to. A break up has never hurt me this much. I don't want things to be over but I don't see any going back from this for me and Lando. I don't know how I could ever trust him again. Hearing the doorbell I look at my mum alarmed, neither of us are expecting anyone and I have a gut feeling who it is. As I open the app for our camera system my heart sinks when I see Lando stood there.

"It’s him" I say bluntly looking up at my mum.

"Do you want to talk to him?"

"Mum I can't see him. I don't want to talk to him" I'm stood in the kitchen and despite Lando being stood on my doorstep I'm not strong enough to even look at him.

"I'll answer it but I'll tell him where to go Lucía. I'm not going to make an effort to be nice to him" my mum says pointing her finger at nothing as she makes her way to the door. I might not want to see Lando, but I can't help but eavesdrop at what he has to say "What are you doing here Lando? My daughter doesn't want to talk to you and I certainly don't want you here"

"Stacey I know I fucked up"

"You're right you did but you weren't the one holding your sobbing daughter in your arms. The daughter who was so upset and crying so much she vomited and had a panic attack! Over you! Someone with so little respect for her!"

"Stacey I love her so much I just need to tell her how sorry I am" hearing Lando plead with my mum I feel the tears threatening to spill over.

"Lando you don't stick your tongue down the throat of a different girl when you claim to love your girlfriend”

"I just need to talk to Lucía. No one knows I've fucked this up more than I do"

"Do yourself a favour Lando get back on the plane you flew here on and go to Mexico. Lucía doesn't want to see you and I'm not going to make her see you. I've been in your world, I know how easy it is for you to fall for it when you've got girls throwing themselves at you but you're not doing it at the expense of my daughter"

"I don't want other girls I want her" Lando sounds on the brink of tears himself and hearing his words I silently cry. I want to hear him out and give him five minutes of my time but I can't.

"You're too late Lando. Do yourself a favour, go to the next race and leave my daughter to move on" my mum doesn't give Lando the chance to respond as she closes the door in his face.

The next few weeks pass in a haze. I might be around but I'm not present. My mind doesn't focus on anything and I just shut down. Lando does try to call and text but I don't answer the calls and I can't bring myself to open the text messages, he's even sent flowers to apologise. I've been hurt before but I've never felt it this badly before.

My friends have been incredible. I barely respond to them but they're all still there for me. They'll come over and sit with me but if I just want to sit there not saying anything, they still stay. If I cry they stay. I've been a drain on them but they've all stayed by my side.

I tried going to the wedding Lando should've been my plus one for but couldn't do it. I left not long after the ceremony. I was sat staring into thin air most of the time, thankfully my dad understood and left me to go back to his house without arguing that I should stay at the wedding. I'm a shell of the confident independent woman I was.

f1gossip

Liked by user178 and 15,072 others

f1gossip Lando Norris and girlfriend Lucía Alonso both posted cryptic comments on their instagram stories suggesting there's trouble in paradise for the paddocks favourite couple. The pair haven't been seen together since Austin when Lucía was seen angrily slapping Lando across the face. Has it reached the end of the road for the McLaren driver and his girlfriend?

View all comments

user294 Lucía definitely sent him that cake they must still be together 🤞🏽

↪️ user193 cakes like that have to be ordered weeks in advance she probably just forgot to cancel the order

user935 Lucía has got to be hinting at wanting to forget everything

↪️ user499 my take from that song is that Lando has done something that has caused them to break up and Lucía isn't coping well with the situation 💔

↪️ user935 I think you're possibly onto something! You don't slap someone the way Lucía did for no reason

↪️ user499 he has 100% hurt her

"He's an absolute wreck because of what's happened. He knows he fucked up and it's killing him" Max practically screams at me as we stand in my kitchen. It's the weekend of the Las Vegas Grand Prix and Liv has brought Max over with her but I knew this conversation would come at some point. Max is always trying to get me to speak to Lando.

"No, don't even go there Max. Don't come in here and tell me how upset he is when he's the one that caused this" I don't want to know how Lando is feeling, quite frankly I don't care "we wouldn't be in this situation if he could keep it in his pants"

"Lucía please just talk to him. I'm not saying you have to get back with him or anything but please talk to him. You even ordered him a birthday cake!"

"That was ordered in September when we were still together! I don't want to talk to him. He's broken me and shattered me into pieces. I've never loved anyone the way I love him and I thought he loved me back. This isn't how you treat someone you love"

"Max babe just leave it yeah?" Liv says looking at Max and I can tell she's ready to play referee.

"I'm just saying Lando's hurting as well"

"Fucking hell! How many times do I need to say it! He has no one but himself to blame! He could've had anyone in the world, he could've had a different girl at every track but he strung me along. If he didn't want to be with me he just had to say instead of getting with her under my nose! He even had the fucking audacity to do it a weekend I was there! He has no respect for me Max"

"He fucking loves you! I've seen how much you're both hurting and it's fucking awful. I listened to him and I sat with him as he cried. I think it would do you the world of good to listen to him" Max says holding his hands up in defeat "I'm leaving now because you clearly don't want to hear this and I can see the looks Liv is giving me"

"I'm sorry Lucía I'll phone you later okay?" Liv says knowing she has to leave with Max but I'm not mad. I'm not going to put her in the middle of this. I have no doubt she's heard Lando's version of events but I'm not ready for that.

After another restless night I pull a blanket over myself as I settle on the couch to watch the Las Vegas Grand Prix. I haven't watched any of the racing since I left Austin, I haven't felt like it. I didn't want to see Lando's face all over but I can't sleep which always seems to be the case lately so I've decided to brave it and watch the race alone.

I feel like watching the race alone is the best thing for me to do, it means if I want to turn it off at any point I can without upsetting anyone. My friends all offered to be with me the next time I watch a race but I don't want to bother them anymore. The darkness of the early Sunday morning leaves my sole focus on the tv in front of me. I've got a steaming cup of tea in my hands but I think that's mainly to keep my hands busy.

As the race starts I find it hard to concentrate on what is happening. I've turned it on last minute to avoid all of the build up, my thinking is that I can switch off as to who is in the car if I don't see their faces first. Stupid of me I know. It goes well until we're four laps into the race and all I can do is stare at the TV in horror. Watching as Lando's car hits the wall and continues into the runoff area hitting the barrier at full speed time slows down and I let out an audible gasp as my breathing stops and the cup of tea in my hand ends up on the floor. He's slow to respond to the calls of the team and he sounds in pain but he isn't getting out of the car.

The seconds feel like hours as I wait to see Lando's body emerge from the cockpit of his car. When he does climb out I can see he's visibly in pain. He might be walking away to the medical car but I'm not convinced. Picking my phone up I dial Chelsea's number. I don't know who from Lando's family is there but I need to know he's okay.

"Chelsea? Can you hear me?" I ask as the call connects and I hear the noise of the garage in the background.

"Lucía are you okay? I can hear you fine"

"Chels I need you to find out if Lando is okay. Please Chels do what you can. That was the worst thing I've ever seen I need to know he's okay" as I'm talking to Chelsea my eyes fill with tears. I've seen crashes over the years in formula one but knowing it was Lando makes me feel sick to my stomach, I still love him the last thing I want is for him to be hurt.

"I promise I'll do what I can. I know he's been taken to the medical centre and there's talk of him being taken to hospital as a precaution but I'll confirm it as son as I can. I think his dad is here but if I need to I'll send your dad"

"Hospital? Fuck! I knew it was bad when he wasn't responding. If you see Adam please as him to phone me. I appreciate this Chels" letting Chelsea go I watch the aftermath of the crash. The more I see it the more I feel sick. I want to watch for my dad but I know don't know if I can.

"What happened in here?" My mum asks walking into the living room not even surprised I'm up so early. She's found me in this position multiple times over the last few weeks.

"I dropped my cup when Lando crashed. Chelsea thinks they're taking him to hospital to get checked" I feel numb from what I've just witnessed "I feel so helpless mum"

"He'll be okay Lucía he has the best medical care at his fingertips"

"Mum you didn't see it. He hit the barrier with so much force. He couldn't answer the radio" feeling myself start to cry I think I'm in shock "I need to know he's okay mum I love him"

"I know you love him Lucía. Don't panic and wait for someone to call you. Don't think the worst until you know what is happening. I'll get something to clean this up" as my mum walks out of the living room my phone begins to ring and I see Adam's name on my screen.

"Adam? Is he okay? Please tell me he's okay" I can't even say hello I'm so panicked.

"He's okay Lucía. He's in pain and on a lot of pain meds but he'll be okay. There's going to be some bruising but it's the best we could hope for after a crash like that" hearing Adam's words I let out a sigh of relief.

"Thank you for letting me know. You didn't have to but I appreciate it"

"Lucía I'm not going to keep this information from you. I know how much you care about Lando. Forget everything that has happened lately, that doesn't take away from the fact you care about each other more than anyone else" something about Adam’s words hits home. His son is the love of my life.

“Adam can I ask you something? You can say no” I don’t want to come across as needy but I need Adam to do this one thing for me.

“What is it? Whatever I can do I’ll do it for you Lucía”

“Once Lando has rested and he’s in less pain will you ask him to phone me? I need to talk to him” I finally suck it up and decide I’m ready to speak to Lando. Maybe it’s the thought that every time he gets in the car I could lose him forever, I don’t know. All I know is that I need to speak to him. It’s been a long 5 weeks of not hearing his voice.

“Of course I will. You have my word. I know he’ll be happy to hear from you” it sounds like Adam has a smile on his face at my request. I don’t know what will come of talking to Lando but I’m as ready as I’m going to be. I just have to hope he still wants to speak to me.

[gamerbunny1996]

Jschlatt x Depressed reader

*Warning ⚠️: there is mention of depression, suicidal thoughts, and self harm. If you don't feel comfortable with that stuff don't read. It doesn't go into details or anything, just slight mentios on it all.*

I've been feeling really down a lot recently and I just needed comfort so I'm writing this more for me then anything but maybe someone needs this too

Word count: 2,252

Sorry if this sucked I was pretty much just writing my thoughts.

I shut off my computer and leaned back in my chair with a sigh. Looking up I was just lost in thought. The last couple of weeks I've been talking to this guy and it's just been a shit show with him. Then streaming and all has been stressful as well. This month has just been horrible to say the least.

My phone soon goes off. Looking at my desk I see a text notification for that guy. Sighing I opened the message and just like it has been every single day he was to see a picture of me. It's annoying because all he wants is sex and I really don't want that. Fuck buddies isn't my thing. I just rolled my eyes and turned my phone off ignoring him. I'm still not sure why I haven't blocked him yet.

Standing up I go to lay on my bed. I'm just tired of men I just want to go on one date for once in my life but all guys want to do is fuck and it's annoying. I turn on my side and open my phone back up and go onto tiktok. My fyp has just been bikertok. Scrolling through, my eyes start to tear up. Shutting my phone off I grab my stuffed dragon and cry into it. Just frustrated with everything in my life. Ended up dozing off a little before I heard my phone go off. I almost didn’t even want to see who was messaging me. Sighing out I did open my phone and seen that a good streamer friend of mine has messaged me. Clicking onto his icon I started to read his message. “You okay. You seem really down today on the stream” Smiling a little to myself I message Schlatt back. “Yeah I’m doing great” I Lied to him. Glad it was over text so he can't tell.

“I know you're not, you can tell me I’m here for you” I just left him to read.I turned my phone off and I walked to the bathroom needing a shower. Getting undressed and turning the shower on. I put it as hot as I could handle and stepped in. The water is burning my skin a little. I just stand there letting the water pour down my skin. My skin turned bright red. Tears started to run down my cheeks. My thoughts are getting too much.

Why does everyone hate me? What do I do wrong. I just want to be loved. I'm tired of everyone looking up to me, I'm a nobody. The thoughts soon turned darker and darker. *Knock knock* I get snapped out of my thoughts. More knocking happened. Shutting the shower I stepped out and wrapped a towel around myself. The knocking seems to become more frantic.

“Hold on” I yell out. Putting on my fluffy black robe I walk out of the bathroom and to my front door. Opening it up stood my friend Jschlatt. “What do you want?” I say annoyed. He just rolled his eyes and walked in. “Start talking, I'm not leaving until you do” he said sitting down onto my couch. “Let me get dressed first” I scoffed and walked away.

Getting dressed fast in a big T-shirt and shorts I walk out of my room. I walked to the living room and sat on the couch next to Schlatt. “What's up?” he said, turning to look at me. The TV playing in the background. “I already told you I'm fine.” He rolled his eyes. “Your not I can tell”

“I am though”

Schlatt put a hand on my leg that is now crossed.

“It's okay not to be okay you know”

Right then and there broke me. I started to cry like an ugly cry. I can't breathe, tears won't stop. Everything seems painful. Schlatt pulls me into a hug. I wrap my arms around his neck crying into his shoulder. He starts to rub my back to soothe me. After a good few minutes I finally started to calm down. Taking deep breaths. I sit back a little from Schlatt. Taking one last deep breath I speak.

“I feel stuck,lost even. Every guy only wants one thing. I just want a cute date where they bring me flowers and take me wherever they plan to go. Then at the end just drop me off and call it a night. That's all I want. I just want a boyfriend. My depression is hitting hard. I can't stop thinking about what happens if I just don't exist anymore. Or should I just hurt myself just to make all this pain go away. I just can't take this anymore.” Tears started to stream down my face halfway through that talk.

Soon I feel a hand brush away my tears. I look Schlatt in the eyes and I see pain and sadness behind his eyes. Did I say something wrong? “Hey it's okay if you ever feel like everything is over just come to me I don't mind being there for you” He said. Soon I felt a light touch on my arm. Looking down Schlatt was tracing the scars I had. I didn't mean to make him sad.

“I ask myself everyday what would me death look like and I would imagine it all the time just me alone in my bed to never be found” I spoke. “I would find you because I will always be there for you” that made me smile a little to hear that someone cares.

“Please if you are ever down come to me I'll never mind” he spoke again. “Thanks I need that a lot actually” I smiled at him. “Now let's have a movie marathon and I'll order us some dinner alright” I nod my head. Pulling the blanket off the back of the catch and snuggled up. Schlatt pulled me close and I lay my head on his shoulder. He turned a movie on and pulled his phone out to order some food.

Waking up slowly I realized I must have fallen asleep after eating. Looking around I sit up. Seeing my phone I grabbed it and saw a text from Schlatt. “I hoped you slept well. I left after you fell asleep. I hope you didn't mind” I smile to myself. I text him back a thank you. Noticing that one guy has messaged me. “Come on babyyyy please” I was now pissed I blocked his ass.

Getting up I got ready for the day. I didn't really want to stream today so I just laid around the house all day. It was now 5 in the afternoon and a knock happened at my door. Getting off the couch I open the door. There stood Schlatt with a bouquet of flowers. Yellow roses and sunflowers. He even had a stuffed cow as well. “I was wondering if you want to go on a date” he shyly asked.

Shock came over my face. Soon a smile creeped up. “I would love to” I hug Schlatt. He wraps his arms around me the best he can with them full. Pulling back I took the flowers and cow. “Thank you so much” I smile as I walk into my apartment to put my flowers in a vase.

“Let me at least put something nicer on then my sweats and t-shirt” I told him. “Don't take too long, I got lots planned” he told me. “I'll be fast I promise” I walk off to my room and put my new plushie on my bed. I hurried and slept on a nice pair of black skinny jeans and a black crop top. Putting my hair up into a high ponytail and curling my bangs.

Walking out I see Schlatt playing on his phone. “I'm ready,” I told him. He looked and smiled at me. “Wow you're beautiful” I started to blush hard.

Standing up he came and grabbed my hand. “Lets go” he opened the door and we walked out. Getting to his car he opened the door for me and let me inside. He went around and got into the driver's seat. We drove for a few minutes until he park outside a nice restaurant. He got out and hurried to open my door. “Thank you,you know you don't have to do that” I giggled stepping out of the car. “Well got to treat a pretty girl like you like a queen” he winked at me. I started to blush. We walked inside and got a seat.

Once our drink order was taken we sat and talked. “you know you didn't have to take me on a date” I said to Schlatt. “I wanted to though I want to show you that your loved and fuck every guy that's out there”.” I smile. “You're the best,” I say. Soon the waiter came back and gave us our drinks. Ordering our food it was just the two of us. Schlatt takes both my hands into his. Bringing them up to his lips he kissed me. Knuckles. I turn my head away my face bright red now. “I was alway jealous by all the guys who talked to you. I was to scared to say anything to you though because I didn’t want you to reject me. I love streaming with you and going on trips. You put a smile on my face all the time” I looked up into his eyes. There is so much love in them. “I’m broken though” I say. “I’ll fix you” is all he said. “Why” I try to see any hate in his eyes but I couldn’t see anything. When he opened his mouth to speak our food came out.

We just started to eat instead of saying anything. We sat in silence. Finishing up, Schlatt paid for our food and we went to the car. Sitting inside he started to drive us to the next place. Parking in the parking lot. We walked down a bridge that looks over the water. My eyes sparkle from how gorgeous the water is. Schlatt was slightly behind me smiling at the look I have.

He wraps his arms around me hugging me from behind. “Beautiful isn't” he asked. I nodded in agreement. “Alright this isn't fully what we are doing tonight I just wanted to show you” he told you. I turn my head around to look at him. “Really?” He just turned me around and started to walk back to the car with my hand in his.

Soon we showed up back at his place. We got inside and there in the front room were blankets and pillows. It almost looked like a big bed in the center of the room, could also say it's like a nest. It had some stuffed animals. Snacks and drinks in the center. I was amazed. “We are going to watch Tim Burton movies all night” he mentioned the movie marathon. My smile grew so wide I didn't think it could go any bigger.

“Here” he grabs a bag off the nest looking thing. “What is it?” I opened it up and looked inside and it was a pj set. Pulling it out it was shorts and a t- shirt, Friday the 13th themed. “I got me pants instead of shorts so we can match. I know you feel claustrophobic sleeping in pants, that's why I got shorts for you.” He told me. “Now go get dressed,” he said. Walking into his bathroom I got into the pj's. Once back into the living room Schlatt was in his pj's and had a bowl of popcorn made. Crawling on the blankets I sit next to Schlatt. He pushed play on the first movie of the night.

“I needed this, I appreciate it” I said.

“I know that's why I did it, if you ever feel depressed again come to me alright I don't mind I'll sit with you through it all. I don't care if you have suicidal thoughts or your hurting yourself call me I'll be there so face to make all the pain go away you hear me.” I started to tear up a little. Jumping onto Schlatt I hugged him so tight. “I appreciate you so much, the pain has been too much.” I soon whisper out. “Thank you so much” he held me so tight. I felt my shoulder become a little damp. He was crying. Soon I started to cry harder.

“Please don't leave me,” he said to me.

“I won't I promise” soon we both calm down pulling away from each other. He wiped my cheeks from my tears. He leaned in and kissed me. I kissed back enjoying this moment. Pulling away we just looked into each other's eyes.

“I love you and I promise I'll always be there for you” I smiled and said I love you back. “Now let's cuddle and watch our movie” laying back we cuddled up and watched the movie. I couldn't ask for someone any better than Schlatt; he was my everything.

[okameeznuts]

Vent:

So, there's some user I like, because of their art and their personality, I turn myself into anon, asking them about their favourite things and compliment them, seeing them happy makes me happy too, but they're friends with the person that I hurt, so I keep being anon to them, being hidden; I just don't want to let them know about that, about me harmed their friend in text before.

Somehow, I noticed that my anon is very nice and positive, keeping them happy, while the real user, me... I keep seeing myself as the bad person, drowning in guilt, I keep remembering the memories of me hurting people.

I envy my anon side, I'm very jealous of other self, thinking that the anon me is so different, like they're an other person in my view, I don't view myself to that anon me.

Also on the other hand, I base some of my OCs to me, but my OCs gets happy endings while I'm still suffering in my current state.

Like, my minds are separated, or that angel and devil on shoulders.

Also, my mind is confused if I'm the abuser or victim, bad memories, mistakes are keep repeating in my mind. But my friend say that I'm the victim? Is that true? I've been called my joke "bestality" before, like they view me as a cold hearted beast.

I went from rarely talk to new people to only talk in anon or rarely talk to other mutuals, I'm afraid if I accidentally hurt them because I'm blunt, offensive, and "insensitive".

Like, my bluntness hurt my mutual @hyperfixatingonfoolishthings, but they seem to apologize to me, but my intuitive thoughts keep saying that I'm unforgivable. And my other mutual, I said "sorry" and they didn't answer, that part always keeps repeating on my brain, am I that unforgivable? But my other mutuals seems to forgive me.

Those memories, making people hurt, I can't believe I hurt myself for them, thinking that they see me miserable is entertainment for them, but somehow they always went silent. I go like: "I've harmed myself! Isn't that really nice to see? Does that make you entertained and proud!?"

In real life, when my classmates try to talk or touch me, I usually don't answer and get my arms away from theirs, I don't like being touched.

I feel like that I'm untouchable, I'm like a poisonous plant, if someone touches me, they'll get hurt. @kingdomofsolaria can relate to this part.

I'm starting to avoid people... And I feel like I don't belong in society, I feel like an outsider, I feel that I'm too different compared to norms.

I hate being "abnormal", I keep trying to fit in the norms...

Just like Sisyphus, he tries to get to the top, but the boulder keeps falling again and again for eternity. And I keep trying to correct my mistakes but it's somehow repetitive.

I feel like I'm a sinner who gets tortured for eternity in hell, because I've commited a lot of sins, feeling that I'll never get to heaven.

Feelings that I deserved to be punished and tortured by life...

I get angry, irritated, and violent if someone keeps misunderstood me, that makes those mistakes worsen me.

I always say this to @ionlypostmymeemocs, they say that I'm not a bad person, they really mean to me a lot, I love them platonically, they also relate to my struggles.

Also, shoutout to other mutuals who helped me besides the other mentions on the paragraph? Yeah:

@icannotfindmycharger and @sniperry034, I love them too!

Also a deactivated mutual... @foxwithatank helped me too.

Idk about the other mutuals, they don't express emotionally much, which makes me confused.

I posted this vent because some people does that too, I just want to tell everyone that I'm hurt, broken... So the others that I hurt are too.

Well, if some others doesn't care, I won't force them, but it also breaks my heart.

I both think that I want isolation and appreciation, which confuses me.

Do I deserve punishment? Or do I deserve love?

And yep, I mentioned that I'm a crybaby to my intro post, I always cry.

[nikethestatue]

Hello! I just found your blog today and really enjoy it! I'm new to Sarah j maas. I just finished Cc after reading acotar this summer. Then I came online to the fandom this month and I've been very confused. I see all this claims that az will be with bryce or that az and gwyn are mates. Completely ignoring elain like she doesn't exist and ignoring what az wants which is what sarah wrote. I thought gwyn was nice, But gwyn is a very new character right? And I remember az maybe talking to her in the training group a few times and he was often grumpy and quiet and sometimes quite happy with their improvement, and a little calm and friendly. Just normal and professional like a teacher. Didnt think much about it. I never thought about az and gwyn in the same thought. It makes no sense to be mates from that. Very strange. I thought it is a fandom ship, like dramionie, but it was serious.

Did i miss somethint?. I don't understand where it comes from but i dont want to be mean. I found azriels bonus chapter last week because a gwynriel person told me about it. I was even more shocked they think azriel and gwyn are mates when I read it. I knew azriel and elain would be a couple but I actually didn't know azriel was already that obsessed. I really liked it for elain. After what men did to her I want that kind of love for elain. Someone who really really wants her. Azriel has always been kind and good to elain and I'm very happy about elain and azriel even more now. He and nesta are the only ones that defended elain out loud by saying that elain doesnt want lucien, which is true. The necklace is mysterious and made me sad that rhys interrupted but it makes sense. It is like Nesta kicked cassian in their chapter when they almost kissed. Some interruption and obstacle. Did I misunderstand the books? I hope not because I loved elain and azriel in the books. They slowly became my favorite. I became sad after coming into the fandom and hearing many cruel things about elain.

I read acotar slowly and in peace on my own and i slowly and steady became sure elain and azriel would be next book. It was how Sarah wrote. did I misunderstand everything? Sorry, maybe all this fandom claims that hit me this month has made me too confused since i just read all the books recently. I read all books in English but it isn't my language so maybe I missed important things. I understad english very well but dont express myself well. I think i became a little sad when I came into the fandom. I dont enjoy this fandom. It is very aggressive but I want to talk peacefully and just enjoy the books. Sorry for writing so long. I hope i didn't sound mean. Sometimes I express too bluntly in English.

Hey Anon!

Thank you. And no, you didn't misunderstand anything. You read the books and you got exactly what you were supposed to have gotten out of them.

I've been in this fandom for a long time, and I'll be honest, to this day, I am baffled by how some people misconstrue the text so badly. SJM is not a complete writer with themes and language that's difficult to understand. She is pretty basic, actually. So anyone who claims that there are all these shocking SECRET things in her books about couples or word is either willfully ignorant or tries to pull the wool over people's eyes.

And while I can sort of, kind of, understand where Gwynriel came from--a new female in the series, dislike for Elain, Azriel and Gwyn being single, Emerie being hinted at as a lesbian, them being in the same vicinity, etc. To this day, I CANNOT understand Bryceriel. I think it was born on Reddit. But it's one of the more bizarre ships out there, not only because they are from different worlds, with very different roles in their worlds, but also one is mated and another is in love with someone else. Do I understand Gwynriel? Yeah, I can understand. Bryceriel? Not so much. Because if bonds don't matter, if love doesnt matter, then why not just pain Azriel with Nesta???? It makes more sense than Bryceriel.

I don't think that you need to worry--Elriel has been set up consistently, SJM never wavered from them, she only pushed Elriel even more in ACOSF. They are also the two characters who are entwined with numerous storylines and can push the plot of the series forward.

It's hard to shut out the noise about GA and Bryceriel, but it's been very muted and minimized in the past 2 years, and especially this last year. Be thankful that you weren't in this fandom in 21-22. It was rough.

All we can do now is sit back and wait for the book to be announced and published.

[tw-inkl-e-tit-s]

✩-Blind date-✩

Pairing: Miguel Cazarez Mora x Fem!Reader

Word count: 4.9k

Type: fluff

Warnings: Cussing?? not many warnings lol just fluff

A/N: Mia is Pink and Y/n is Purple in text

| Miguel Cazarez Mora Masterlist

Y/N'S POV

I stared in the mirror at my reflection as I put on my earrings and all my jewelry. I was getting ready for something my friend had planned, I think she was just running low on content for her youtube channel and needed something to post. My bestfriend Mia was a Youtube with over three hundred and forty subscribers, She has had me and our other friend Miguel in a couple of videos, and some we appeared in together. The second video we appeared in was when the comments started, Some of the comments said stuff like,

"Look at the way they look at each other!"

"He is so in love with her"

"They are defiantly dating!? OMG!!"

And not to mention the mass amounts of fan edits we both have been tagged in where the fans ship us together. I didn't know Miguel personally, He is just usually there when Mia is filming and so am I, I thought he was very attractive and he defiantly made me nervous when we got too close, The way he would look at me was like I was the only girl in the world.

I have told Mia about my small (HUGE) crush on Miguel and she freaked out and told me I needed to ask him out or tell him about my feelings, but I just never did because I was always scared he would reject me or think differently of me even though it didn't matter because it's not like we hang out alone.

I also am kinda talking to somebody at the moment, It isn't anything serious and we aren't in a relationship or anything, I just thought he was attractive and wanted to get to know him, but from what my other friend Ash told me he is a player, I don't really care I just wanted a distraction for my feelings for Miguel.

I saw my phone light up with a notification from Mia, I grabbed my phone and clicked on her message.

Mia Bear 🐻💕

Are you ready?

I'm parked outside hurry!

I'm ready just need to apply lipgloss omw!

I'm so excited!

I think you're gonna like who I picked for you 🤭

I hope so, is it that Bryan guy? cause if so I ain't going

What?

No! This guy is short sorry lol

But he is cute AND funny I KNOW you will like him

Now hurry your apartment complex is scary

I sighed as I shut my phone off and put it in my back pocket, I put on some lipgloss and looked at myself once more in my full-body mirror to make sure I still looked good, I then walked out of my bedroom and shut my lights out and said bye to my animals and grabbed my purse walking out of my door and making sure to lock it behind me.

I walked into my elevator and clicked "Main floor" I waited for the elevator to open and walked out to see Mia parked outside talking to her Camera in the car, She looked over and saw me walking up to her and pointed the Camera at me,

"Oh my damn, You look good if he doesn't take you I will," She said zooming in on my outfit

I giggled doing a little spin for the camera, "So are you ready?" She asked as I got in her car

"I don't know, You said he was short," I said side-eyeing her

"You got a problem with short men?" She shouted laughing after

"No it's just a lot of short guys think they are hot shit and they ALWAYS have a big ego," I said

"I promise you are going to like this guy, He's humble," She said

It's not that I didn't trust Mia- I did one hundred percent, It's just me and her have completely different tastes when it comes to people we date, I hope she ACTUALLY picked someone I would go for and not someone she would go for, does that make sense?

We pulled up to a park and she told me she would be right back and that she had to go seat something up. I was so nervous so I decided to take my mind off of it by Taking some cute pictures and liking some fan edits.

Mia opened the car door after fifteen minutes, She climbed in and pulled out her camera,

"You ready?" She asked

"Yeah kinda," I laughed

"Don't be, You look great," She smiled and turned her camera on setting it on her dashboard

"So me and Y/n just arrived!" She said to the camera

"Hey guysss!" I smiled

"So all you know is what?" She asked turning to look at me

"So all I know is it's a blind date, we are going to the park and that's all I know," I said

"Yeah I didn't tell you much cause I didn't want to spoil it," She said

"I need to know if I am wearing a blindfold and do I get to see who it is like right when I get there?" I asked

"Yeah I'm gonna keep the blindfold on you guy's until you like- sit down," She said

"I kinda wanna keep the blindfold on," I said covering my face

"What your scared he's uggo, He isn't uggo I promise I would never do you dirty EVER!" She said laughing

"Good I didn't think you would," I said laughing with her

"Alright give me all your thoughts," She said as fixed her camera some

"Okay so when you said blind date I was like aw cute and fun, but I am also in like a sticky situation, I do have a little bit of a situationship going on but it's not like I'm somebodies girlfriend," I said

"But it's fine you can still go on this date," She said

She opened her glove box and pulled out a pink bandana and unfolded it,

"So I got this bandana, but I don't want to ruin your lashes so it's gonna have to be a bit loose so don't move around a lot," She laughed as she put the bandana on my face and tied it in the back

"Alright I think that's good, Can you breathe?" She asked

"Yeah I think- Enough I can breathe enough," I said laughing

"Oh shit I'll be right back, don't take your blindfold off okay," She said as she opened the car door and got out

I sat in silence for another fifteen minutes not knowing what to do cause I couldn't go on my phone due to the blindfold on my face, I laughed at the thought of people looking at me through the window wondering what is going on.

I heard the car door open and Mia breathing heavy

"Are you recording?" I asked

"Yeah, I am now why?" She asked

"Oh my god I'm over here with a blindfold on and I can't see anything and all I can hear is Mia over here breathing like a dog," I said laughing

She laughed shutting the car door

"I just know I'm gonna be so annoying on this date and I'm like so sorry," She said

"Wait no It's okay I'm glad you're here because if you would just leave us to fend for ourselves I would like kinda panic," I said

"Maybe I should then," She said

"NOOO!" I whined

"No i'm kidding I won't I'm gonna be annoying," She said laughing

"Isn't this like the perfect first date, like it's kinda romantic huh?" She asked

"Mmm, I don't know about that," I said laughing

"I'll be right back," She said as she got out of the car

MIA'S POV

"Ahh I'm so excited!" I shouted to the camera as I ran toward my bestfriend Miguel's car

He just got here and he looked a little nervous as he got out of the car, And it looked like he also brought his other bestfriend Mason, I blushed a bit as I and Mason made eye contact, I kinda liked Mason and Miguel knew that, He tried to get me and him together plenty of times but I have just never confessed my feelings.

"Are you excited about your blind date!?" I asked Miguel

"Oh, Mason's here to help me!" I said as I pointed the camera at Mason

"You're taking away my boyfriend bro what is this," He said

"Shut up!" I laughed as I handed him the Camera so I could put on Miguel's blindfold

"Are you excited?" I asked Miguel as I put on his blindfold

"Yeah- well I'm gonna be honest I was hyping myself up on my way here but now I'm here and I'm kinda shitting bricks," He said laughing

"Well I wouldn't put you with someone you wouldn't think was cute," I said

"Well that makes me even more nervous," He said

"Don't stutter alright you got this," Mason said reassuring Miguel

"Bro you literally have thousands of girls crushing on you over the internet you got this," I said

We got out of the car and Mason ran over to our side to film,

"Wait I got her flowers!" Miguel said

"You got her flowers?" I asked surprised

"Yeah I didn't know if I should or not but it is a date so," He said laughing

Mason ran to the trunk and pulled out a huge bouquet of roses,

"Miguel what is this oh my god!" I said walking over to Mason to look at the flowers

I had completely forgotten Miguel was blindfolded, "HOLY SHIT!!" Mason yelled I looked back to see a car speeding in Miguel's direction, I quickly ran over and dragged him towards me, and Mason

"You just almost died!" Mason yelled laughing

"Huh?" Miguel asked confused

"Mia almost let you get ran over bro!" Mason shouted

"Back to what I was saying!" I said laughing

"Miguel, why did you get her this many flowers?" I asked since it was so cute

"Oh it's a Ramo Buchon, I got it because I kinda have a feeling of who you are setting me up with," he said

"No, you don't, She is like super tall- like model tall- like taller than you!" I said

I looked at Mason trying to hold in my laugh and he was doing the same

"Damn model tall, How tall is she?" He asked

"Like six foot five," I said trying not to laugh

"Oh hell nah you trynna set me up with an NBA player, I'm good bro," He said trying to walk away but bumped into the side of his car

"No come back you can't see, dumbass," I said

I grabbed his hand and started leading him to the spot that I had set up for him and Y/n, Mason was carrying the flowers and the camera. The spot had a pink blanket spread across the grass with some sandwiches and I also got them some water so they could stay hydrated since it was hot as shit outside.

"Is she really six foot five?" He asked

"Yes, she is!" I said laughing

"Oh god," He mumbled

"Are you still nervous?" I asked

"Hell yeah, I am so nervous Mia," He said

"Okay talk to the camera," I said

"I just- what if she doesn't like me or what if I don't like her?" He said

I was trying to listen but he kept squeezing my hand, was he really THAT nervous?

"OWW, YOU'RE SQUEEZING MY HAND!!" I shouted trying to lose his grip

"Sorry, I'm just nervous!" He shouted back

"Alright we are here," I said

"Just sit down," Mason said

"Uh, I can't see?" Miguel said

"Oh shit right, here!" I said guiding him to sit on the blanket

"I got you some sandwiches and some waters," I said

"Okay, can I take the blindfold off?" He asked

"NO I'm about to go get her, Just sit there and don't talk because she's gonna recognize your voice I feel like," I said

"Okay, hurry up," He said laughing

Mason handed the flowers to Miguel and we both rushed over to my car to get Y/n,

"Alright I am gonna walk you to your knight in shining armor," I said as I opened my car door

"Ahh I'm so nervous!" Y/n said

"No it's fine, Tell me your thoughts," I said as I guided her to the spot Miguel was at

"Honestly I'm a liar, I'm not really that nervous I'm just dramatic, but I also might fall in love," She said

"Aww you might!" I said

"Also he might hear your voice, he might not recognize it but he might I don't know," I said

"HIII!!" She shouted

"Bitch you aren't there yet!" I shouted laughing

"Ohhh," She laughed

Y/N'S POV

"Alright I need you to sit down here," Mia said as she helped me sit on the ground

"Can he hear me?" I asked

"Kinda," I heard someone say

"Hiii," I said

Mia and someone else started laughing,

"Is he here- what?" I asked confused since I couldn't see anything

"No, he is here!" Mia said

"Alright, you guys can take your blindfolds off!" She shouted

I took a deep breath as I slowly pulled my blindfold off,

"Holy shit," I heard someone whisper beside me

I looked over to see Miguel, I fucking knew it!

"Oh my god I knew it!" I shouted and we all laughed

"Hiii," I smiled leaning in for a hug

"Hi, how are you?" He smiled as he hugged me back

"I'm great," I said pulling away

"This was gonna be my guess when you asked me to guess who it was," I said laughing

"I know, I tried to throw you guys off a little bit," She said

"Well, he isn't four foot three that's for sure!" I said laughing

"Four foot three, She told me you were six foot five!!" Miguel shouted laughing

"SIX FOOT FIVE OH HELL NAHH!!" I shouted

"She did us dirty," Miguel laughed

"Yeah I tried throwing you off by saying he was short- and he's like the tallest person in the world," she said scanning Miguel with the camera

"I know I was so nervous 'cause she was like, do you like short kings?" I said

"Not the short king," Miguel laughed shaking his head

"So I got you guys some sandwiches and waters, and um- OH," Mia said pointing at something behind Miguel

He pulled out a huge Ramo Buchon, It had red roses on the outside and white roses in the middle shaped like a heart and it was wrapped in white glitter paper.

"Oh yeah I got you some flowers," He smiled as he handed me them

"Oh my god thank you, these are so beautiful!" I smiled taking them

"I'm like tearing up, this is the sweetest thing a guy has done for me thank you so much!" I said hugging him

He hugged me back and I just wanted to stay like that forever, he felt so warm and he smelled so good and the way his hands wrapped around me so perfectly made me melt.

"Okay since you guys are both nervous it is a good thing I came up with some good first-date questions," Mia said as she walked behind me and Miguel

"I am so nervous deadass, my whole hand is shaking," Miguel said as he held up his hand

"Okay, my first question is did I do great?" She asked smiling at the camera

"I think you did good," I said looking at Miguel

"I think you did great," He smiled looking at me

"Good because I told them in my intro about how you guys think each other is cute and no one does anything about it," She said pulling out her phone

I and Miguel couldn't stop glancing at each other, he just looked so good, and his outfit looked good, He was wearing some black cargo pants, a black shirt, a red jacket, a black hat, and air force ones, and his hair was also pulled back in a ponytail, The site made me wanna drool.

"Okay the real first question is, What is your favorite movie, I'm trynna see if you guys have anything in common here," She said

"I would defiantly have to say y/f/m," I said (Your favorite movie)

"I would have to go with Friday and hangover," Miguel said

"What is that?" I asked

"You haven't seen hangover?" Mia asked

"Wait you haven't seen hangover?" Miguel asked shocked

"No guess we have to watch it," I said smirking at him

"Oh we are for sure having a movie night," he said smirking at me

"Wait you guys are already planning another date!?" Mia asked

"It feels like you guys are fine without me, I'll stay for one more question," She said

"Okay, so what are your signs?" She asked

"Uh, I am a y/z/s what are you?" I asked (What is your zodiac sign)

"I'm a Pisces," Miguel said as he opened his water bottle

"Aw I love Pisces," I said

"Perfect!" Mia said clapping her hands

"Alright I'm gonna leave you guys to fend for yourselves for a bit and I'm gonna go talk to Mason and the viewers," She said as she got up and walked off with Mason

I looked back at Miguel who was already looking at me, I quickly looked down trying to hide my blush, He laughed as he placed his hand over mine holding it, I looked up at him and he smiled back at me, "You look so beautiful Y/n," He said looking me up and down,

I couldn't help but look him up and down as well, He just looked so good, "Thank you, Miguel, You look really nice too," I said laughing

"I was serious about that Movie date," He said

"Really?" I asked

"One hundred percent," He said as he looked me in the eyes

"You have no idea how long I have wanted to go on a date with you," He said

"I think I know, I've kinda been crushing on you for a while," I said smiling

"You should have said something!" He said laughing

"Oh yeah like you should have said something to me about how you felt the same!?" I said laughing

"I was nervous!" He said

"Why I don't bite?" I said smirking

"You are just so… Beautiful and breathtaking, and you are very intimidating like you carry yourself so well that I felt like if I asked you out you would have laughed in my face," He said lowering his head

Did he really feel that way? am I intimidating? He said I was breathtaking!

"Miguel, I wouldn't have laughed in your face, I would have told you how I felt and we could have been dating and we wouldn't have to be on this weird blind date thing," I said laughing

He finally looked up at me as he laughed

"Alright be honest what is your ideal first date, Cause I wanna properly take you out?" He asked

"Okay so I think- not a movie because you are like sitting in silence and you can't really talk to each other- but what would earn you coochie point is like maybe take me out somewhere to eat and be like, Be ready at this time and dress like this I'm picking you up," I said

He threw his head back as he laughed

"Alright it seems like it's going very well, So I'm gonna make things a little weird," Mia said as she sat back down between me and Miguel

"Oh great," I said side eyeing Miguel who was doing the same

"Okay I want you guys to compliment each other," She said

"Okay, I really like your hair and your eyes and your smile," I said

"I love your smile and your eyes and your lips," He said smirking at me

"That's so romantic Miguel oh my god," Mia said sighing

"Okay so I have this friend who I showed a picture of you both to and she said that you both looked cute together and I was like I know I've been trying to tell them, like Miguel is always like yo whats good with your friend Y/n, and then I'm like Y/n Miguel thinks you're cute and then she's like yeah he's cute, and no one will ever make a move," She said mimicking our voices

"All right guys comment down below if you think this went well, get this to ten thousand likes and I will force them to go on a date alone next time, Byeee!" She said as Mason turned off the Camera

"Soooo, yall going on a date?" She asked wiggling her brows

"I would love to take you out on a date Amor," Miguel said

I looked away blushing,

"Ohhh he's calling you Amor now?" Mia said

"I would like that," I said blushing

Taglist: @vancehopperenthusiast @bradyhepner @deadghosy @finneyblakes @mnsnloverhey @jayceflwrs @bookobsessedfreak

[wardensantoineandevka]

sorry to bother you but i wanted to ask how you're enjoying using Obsidian? I've been eyeing it for a while but would love to know your thoughts, highlights, lowlights, etc :) if you don't mind sharing, ofc!

No worries! The short version is that I've been enjoying Obsidian quite a lot, and I find that it serves all of my needs nicely without any fuss. Using it is rather frictionless, I think, and getting used to it was pretty easy though it did take some willingness to very much learn to navigate its menus and features and how it lays everything out. It's not at all difficult, but I do think you have to sit with it for a bit. It's currently my main writing program with the exception of screenplays, for which I use Highland 2.

For context on myself, my writing needs are rather straightforward. I use these sorts of apps and programs to write and organize my fanfic, original prose writing, professional correspondence, and journalistic article drafts. I previously used Notion, which I left because of the big NotionAI push. Before Notion, I used Bear, though I can't remember why I stopped using it; I haven't checked out Bear 2, so I don't know if it suits my needs.

When I was shopping around for a new program to use, the following points were important to me, in no particular order:

no native / built-in generative AI assistants

interface is simple and clean or had customization or community themes that would make it so

offline access

mobile app with document sync

ability to organize and group notes through a folder, tag, or similar system

not too many Things going on with it or I could very easily ignore stuff I didn't use without them cluttering up the UI or my space

Obsidian organizes files within "vaults", of which you can have multiple, each of which are connected to folders that are stored locally on my laptop (or my phone). I love this. I have local versions of all of my notes. I can literally find all my stuff as markdown files within a folder on my desktop and open them up in another program with EASE. If you are someone who doesn't have a lot of storage space, this might be an issue, but for me, this is a very bright highlight.

The biggest lowlight for me is that mobile sync is reliant on a subscription fee, but considering that the rest of the program is free and the fee is small, I found this ultimately a very small concern. I very critically need mobile sync because I spend a significant amount of time writing from my phone. The mobile sync is incredibly good; it keeps all documents synchronized very well, and I have yet to run into version conflicts that cause me to accidentally overwrite and lose significant progress. I don't even have to close files on my laptop first; they'll just update in real-time on my screen like Google Docs. Sometimes I'll name documents something that my phone's file path system cannot handle; Obsidian warns me that it cannot fetch and sync these files with illegal names, and I like that it keeps me informed about that.

It has both a folder system and a tag system, which allows you to organize your files. I only use the folder system because my needs are simple, but the tag system is also solid. It also has a robust search system. It also has a bookmarking system to further organize your stuff. I don't have enough files to use that, but it is available, and I think that's neat.

More precise customization can be difficult if you're not used to writing CSS. I am familiar with CSS, so I found this a small hurdle, but this will be a bigger issue for others. That said, this does mean that Obsidian is DEEPLY customizable, and there is a large gallery of community themes that offer a lot of styles that serve a wide variety of needs. There is also a deep bench of community plugins to help get Obsidian to do what you want — I have plugins that make the word count in the status bar show the count of highlighted text and allow me to copy text as HTML instead of formatted text or markdown. There is also an active Obsidian community and forum, so you will not be necessarily troubleshooting customization alone.

Other small things that occur to me to mention right now: It supports opening files in multiple windows, and it has a tab system, which is really neat. The ability to open multiple files at a time is very good. You can also open files side-by-side for easy comparison, which is useful for more technical work. I don't use Obsidian for coding or wiki work, but I can imagine this being really useful for that. It has a reading mode. Offers a version history with a "show changes" mode and restoration capability. File merge capability. You can open images into it and organize them like any other file.

All in all, I'm very happy with it, and it serves all of my personal needs very well. I generally give it a blanket recommendation, again noting that I think it does take sitting with to get used to some of its features and UI and customizing it to your needs and preferences, but I don't think that's super difficult with some patience and time.

[pseudowho]

Hey Haitch, what's up ? I need help and since you're : 1. One of the most prolific writers on here 2. You seem to be organised 3. I assume you have written a dissertation before What advice can you share for someone who has to write their master thesis pronto ? I have a terrible case of ADHD and just a mild interest in my subject, but I need to pump out 40 pages in 2 weeks so any advice is welcome Also you're the best, I loved your very clinical approach to analysing the JJK men's little swimmers

Heeeeeyyyy

I am NOT PROLIFIC, shut up.

I am organised you're right, thank goodness for ✨anxiety✨

I've written a couple, taught dissertation classes on a University level, and bullied Mr.Haitch through a PhD too.

So I've not lived with ADHD sadly. I can only tell you what I'd do.

Get over yourself. I don't give a fuck if you don't like your subject and I don't give a fuck if you find it hard to concentrate. Pull your grown-up pants up, give yourself a slap, and recognise that you either do it and do it well, or you fail. Once you decide that knuckling down is infinitely more palatable than failure, it helps. So, be your own drill sergeant for two weeks now.

Examine your thesis question/hypothesis. Imagine teaching this subject to a class; what questions are they going to ask? You're going to want to answer those. They're going to highlight some key themes to explore. These themes can be grouped into your thesis subheadings.

What does the evidence show? There's almost certainly a theme there; do sources wildly disagree? Is there a general lean towards one answer? What gaping holes are there in the research? Assess the provenance; what limitations are placed upon pieces of evidence based on their provenance? How reliable are they? What are the sample sizes of the studies, if this is relevant to your thesis?

ONLY AFTER YOU HAVE THOROUGHLY EXPLORED THE FULL EVIDENCE...what do you think, and why? What do you think lends strength to your argument?

Remember, a Masters Thesis is a DISCUSSION, an ARGUMENT-- it's frustrating arguing with someone who clearly doesn't know what they're talking about, so get reading babe.

Do your References and Bibliography AS 👏 YOU 👏 WRITE 👏👏 ...as SOON as you mention it in the main body of the text, reference it properly. You are on limited time so tidy up as you go along. The devil is in the detail. I advise the Harvard referencing system, it's the nearest and simplest.

Good luck. This won't be easy. I'm a glutton for punishment and I love a challenge so this is a bit of me.

If you have a moment of "waahhhh this is hard I hate it I feel sorry for myself", let it be just that-- a moment. Pick yourself up and get back to it. Do not spiral. Now is not the time. Spiral after, if you like.

Please note: I'm not that much of a drill sergeant with other people. The above is how I bully myself, and I do bully myself. I would never judge you for a breakdown.

Love,

-- Haitch xxx

[idolish7imagines]

Uhm sorry Im a little embarrassed but can I request a Tenn and Momo x shy reader who is also VERY clingy and easily emotional (both when overly happy and upset)?👉👈 thank you.

Tenn and Momo x shy reader who is also VERY clingy and easily emotional

.::.

Kujo Tenn

Tenn being more gentle with you than others was already a given, you were his s\o after all

However, it is a bit of a learning curve dealing with both your clinginess and rapidly changing emotions

He loves you with all his heart though, so for you he's willing to deal with it; using less harsh words so he won't sound too critical and making sure there's not any other sources around you that would cause you discomfort (he's learned how to manage that well from his experience with his twin brother)

He doesn't mind your shyness, its actually refreshing after being around his fellow groupmates that can tend to get loud from time to time

It's actually kind of a relief since that means you won't ever draw attention to the two of you

Sometimes he isn't aware how much of your shyness applies to him though. In private, the two of you have your passionate moments, with him cupping your cheeks and whispering sweet nothings into your ear

A slow blink is his response to you getting flustered..before slowly realizing he enjoys the effect he has on you and wants to push it even further, a smirk playing on his features.

Your cheerfulness does tend to be infectious, usually even making him sport a small smile when he's had a hard day

Sometimes he wishes you would be less clingy in front of others though, he hates the teases being thrown his way if you so much as wrap your arm around his, resting your head on his shoulder

He hates leaving you on read due to work because he doesn't want you to be sad. Tenn tries to make it up to you by spending most if not all of his off days with you

When you have moments where you're easily upset, sometimes he isn't sure what to say to make you calm down (especially if he doesn't see what you're upset over as a big deal) but he doesn't invalidate your feelings and does his best to get you feeling happy again, offering to share sweets with you

"What am I going to do with you?" The angelic idol gave you one of his smiles that'd make even his most stoic of fans hearts melt, petting your head as your arms clung around his waist not wanting him to leave your side.

Momo

Honestly Momo is the exact same as you

He isn't shy in general but when it comes to people he greatly admires he'll turn stiff as a board at the notion of getting closer to them

so if youre clingy and easily emotional, he completely understands, even returning the feelings

Unfortunately one con might be that if you two were to ever argue (which would probably be over something extremely serious like Tsukumo or overworking himself since Momo is relatively easygoing otherwise) both of you would probably start acting out and need a third party Yuki or Okarin to be a voice of reason

The bright side though is Momo is quick to apologize and even get you flowers

If he needs someone to hype him up he knows he can always come to you and he always does the same vice versa

If you text him a lot when you miss him while he's working, he makes sure to respond as soon as he can so you feel less lonely

The cheery idol also doesn't mind PDA (while disguised of course so he gives you lots of kisses and hugs and holds your hand

his favorite is swinging your hands back and forth while walking

He's used to dealing with shy people so if you need him to speak for you he'll always do it

Though don't think that means you're exempt from his impish tendencies

Momo will still tease you sometimes. If you cover your blushing face with your hands, he'll grab them away and press a kiss on your nose

"Ehehe, (Y/N)-chan~ I'm already thinking about what I wanna do with you. Now that I finally have you to myself, you'll never escape as long as possible!" Your boyfriend playfully nibbles your neck. You're in for a nice cuddle session since both of you feel its been far too long since the last one.

[moonschildsworld]

Omg I’d love a Nagi POV for Regrets 🥹 Only if you’d love to do it though!

author note: I'm sorry, it look so long T^T but at last, here it is! i hope it doesn't disappoint :<

☆ p.s: i got another great plot idea but I'm worried I can't execute it properly but i'll try my best. hint: it's about itoshi brothers wink wink.

♡ for new readers, before you read this, make sure you read the main part!

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

We lost. I lost? Me?

I could feel my hot blood running through my vines as I collapsed, my hand fisting the grass my fingers dig into the dirt trying to hold onto something to keep my sanity from slipping away, as the whistle screech out signaling the game was over in our opponents’ victory, ending it with a close call of 3-4. What’s more regrettable and got me feeling like shit is that I was going to propose to her on the interview I was suppose to go on after I win this match. I could finally gather up my courage to do troublesome thing like that, just for her.

I was suppose to win the match, coach said that team was the easiest target, I almost got another goal in and we’d get to do penalty kicks and we’d smash them up then. So what went wrong?

My forehead was facing downward to the grass field as tears surge out of my eyes in frustration. Seriously, what the fuck went wrong? How did I lose? I could taste the bitter metal flavor as my bottom lip was bleeding from my front teeth sinking on it too hard.

I was so stuck on the idea that I was the best, I was unbeatable, the prodigy, the most promising player of the next generation of world class player. Nothing could’ve gone in my way. Nothing should’ve gone wrong when I’m on the field.

“come on man, coach said to gather everyone up” I got snapped out of my hellish thought reo’s voice rings into my ears. I took one deep breathe as my eyes suckle back up the tears. I got on my feet in slow motion and walks to the meeting in the locker room.

As expected, coach was furious. Silence fell as I walk into the room along with Reo when coach was just yelling. The silence and stares were suffocating, it was as the gazes were yelling, ‘it’s your fault’ ‘you were supposed to be the one who got us through dilemmas’ ‘the prodigy lost his touch?’

I couldn’t do anything but bite the inside of my mouth and get seated. After a few more minutes of silence, the coach clears his throat, “what’s up with you, nagi?” my stomach drops upon hearing the question , what’s up with me?, nothing is ever wrong with me so how am I suppose to answer this.

Another suffocating silence as no response were given from me as I kept staring at the tiles floor, the coach lets out a big disappointing sigh, he paces back and forth for a while in the room before he announces, “cancel any prior engagement or schedule, we’re staying here for a month for special training” with that, he storms out of the locker room shaking his head furiously.

Murmurs of complaints, groan and sighs were pour out as soon as the coach steps out, “only if someone had done their job properly” a benched player spoke out loudly in spite. “I know right, that’s why you shouldn’t have love to interfere with career” another spiteful comment follows. “what’s your career? Warming up the bench?” Reo hisses back to them as I kept my mouth shut, my eyes still glued on floor.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

The special training and my pride getting smashed was the least of my worries right now but I couldn’t bring myself to open her message, I wanted to text her, “I won” to her good luck text, how can I face her now? My hand clenches my phone hardly as my head hangs down.

I know she wouldn’t eat me alive, nor tear my down just for one lost, and I don’t know why my feelings are this stubborn to run away from her. I know she would try her best to attempt to comfort me. So why do I want to run away?

I spent hours staring blankly at the phone before I made up my mind to shut the phone off and store it in the cabinet beside my hotel’s bed. I just need a day.

A day turn into days, days turn into a month. The anxiety bubbling up inside me never left and I just want to pierce myself and take it out, whatever is making me feel stuffy.

Training was hell, the constant backhanded comments and spiteful backlashes behind his back, from online and my teammates were really getting to me.

Coach pushing me more than he ever does, the gazes that were once admiring and praising me now turn into something more like a civilian camera that are waiting for me to trip again so they can all jump me.

She would never done that or let anybody do this to me.

Time passes quickly with the training that lasts almost the whole day with 8 hours to spare for mandatory personal business, eating and sleeping. It’s finally time to go back to Japan to continue the usual training and another match coming up in 2 months, I need to be on my best behavior so they won’t catch me tripping.

I am now alone again with my thoughts in the hotel room, I reach out for the phone in the cabinet for the first time in a month.

She must’ve been worried right?

I turn the phone back on, my heart thumping in anticipation for what she has to say.

..Nothing..? No new messages since that day..?

I could feel something snapped as the overwhelmed emotions that has been piling up over the past month came spilling out, I throw the phone across the room as my breathe grows heavier and quicker.

Does she not care about me? What’s the point of this relationship huh? When I’m away training my ass off, getting attacked verbally everyday, she hasn’t checked up on me once? Not mentioning, I haven’t answered her for a month, a month!

I sat down with my arms laying on my spreaded legs, my head hung down low. No, I directed my anger at her. She probably just didn’t want to get in way of my work here. I know that so, why..?

I raise my head up as my eyes turn blank and cold, no emotions found as my heart feels heavy out of the sudden, a voice suddenly flashes into my ears, “that’s why you shouldn’t have love to interfere with your career” it was the fleeting comment one of my teammate made.

That’s right.. She’s not necessary, is she? My mind is already heavy from soccer, why bother carrying any more unnecessary weight..? Come to think of it, she would understand. She probably can live, with her career and things, it shouldn’t be a hindrance to her, right..?

Yeah, she’d understand me. Y/n always does.

That’s how I selfishly broke up with her for my own career under a façade that I think she’d understand when I know she would break down even if she understands.

I broke up with her with a promise to never to lose again in any match, neither friendly—nor a serious match.

The result came to fruition as I have a come back in my career in the next match and I continue to do great the match after and the match after that. I buried myself in my career because that’s all I knew to do, it’s what I throw away everything for and I had a promise to keep, 3 years of full success, no loss.

It’s going great again, people that were waiting for my downfall click their tongue and turn away in defeat. People are again looking at me with praises and admiration. I had move up to join a more prestigious club and many others are offering million to get me, Isn’t this what I wanted? It is.

Strangely, now that I don’t feel heavy anymore, there’s a great amount of void in me. Of course, I have a slight idea of what is it but I choose to live in denial. She has been well, I keep watch on her, secretly of course I know much at least that she wouldn’t want to see me after all of that, at random times and she’s still the same, calm and composed. Going to work and going out with her friends once in a while. I do notice smiles are rare to come by for her. But she’ll get over it right? She’s y/n after all. That’s what I selfishly convince myself so I could look away, for my own benefit.I chose it myself so it’s a given that I chose to live with the void.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

That is until, today after 3 whole years, on a coincidence that I stepped out to get drinks, my eyes spot a familiar build standing outside of the stadium I was suppose to have a friendly match at today. I felt like the world had stopped moving as my eyes laid on her figure.

Before I knew it, my feet brought me to stand in front of her, without permission my voice calls out to her. She looks up in a slightly shocked expression but soon calms down. That’s it? Seeing me after all of this time. I could feel something poking at my heart.

I knew I shouldn’t be acting so familiar to her after all of that but my heart, my mind, they crave her more than I thought. She’s still as calm as ever, why am I the only one whose heart is thumping like some high school boy meeting his crush? This is so unfair. I asked her what she was doing here, I pray to gods that existed in all direction hoping for a slight chance that she’d say ‘I came to see you’

Our conversation was cut short by one of the guy in the opposition team I’m up against today, my heart drops seeing him acting so familiar with y/n, my y/n.

I didn’t know what my expression is shown on my face as I watch them. So she found someone after all..? They act like I wasn’t standing there in front of them, I just want to yell at y/n to keep her attention on me, what rights do I have..?

I bite the inside of my mouth as I try to keep myself in check. y/n finally turned her attention back to me, like a puppy, that much attention had me wagging my tail at her if I had one. That unsettling feeling attack again as she introduced the muscle blonde head as her boyfriend.

I just want to rip my body and scoop out the intestine that keeps developing that feeling. “are you playing against my boyfriend today?” I know I am probably just imagining it but it seems like she emphasized my boyfriend to spite me. “…yeah” was all I managed to get out of my mouth. I soon come to realized that it made things awkward, fuck I didn’t want it to be this way with y/n, after all these years, after finally she can meet me eye to eye again.

The blonde muscle man decided to steal her away again, in excuse of guiding her to her seat. I could feel my heart tightened at how she smiles at him, how she talks, how she jokes, the way she gazes at him. Those all used to be mine, It should’ve been forever mine.

He grabbed her hands and guide her away. No, she can’t go just like this, I need to come up with something— “do you think I’ll do well today?” the question spills out of my mouth before I can think about it thoroughly and I wanted to dig myself into a hole. Seriously man? In front of her boyfriend?

Though to be frank, I couldn’t care much because she turned to me again and flash one of her smile at me, “you always do well, don’t doubt yourself” I could feel myself choking up, that’s what she always used to say but it’s not the same anymore, where’s the loving tone she always uses?!

Before I could say anything more, the blonde almost dragged her away. I could only watch their backs as they disappear among the crowds.

There it is again, the same unsettling feeling but this time, I had nothing to throw away anymore, I have nothing..

My head was hazy, eyes are blurry. It feels like all of senses had been lost. The match starts and ended before I can realized. I had only realized when the same gruel some screeching sound of whistle signaling the match had ended,,, in the opponent’s victory.

It felt like déjà vu, it felt like that day. That day I felt like I had lost everything but no, I had my everything back then. I dropped to my knees as tears spill out of my eyes, the tears blocking my visions as some teammates came forward surrounded me and frantically comfort me and ask me what's wrong.

My eyes were stuck on the two of them as she runs from the sideline and he picks up her and spin her mid-air. I see it, her genuine smile, she’s happy, she’s genuinely at peace. And he was the one who makes it possible..

There’s no me in the picture anymore, I am not involved in her life anymore. It makes sense now, she wasn’t unnecessary. She never was, what she was is an essential, I couldn’t figure that out. I was blinded by guilt, pride & anger.

This unsettling feeling here and back then, it’s regret. Back then, I regret not being able to win the match for her and regret not being able to continue with my plan to propose to her on national TV. Right now, I regret now knowing and understanding the feeling of ‘regret’ until it’s now too late to know.

But one thing that I don’t regret is that, if one of us can be happy, I always had prayed that it would be you.

.　 . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

[bitchlessdino]

You know i love dino but i also really really love boo seungkwan so how about a morning coffee/brunch date with kwannie 🫶🏼

Pairing: gn!reader x seungkwan

Genre: fluff

word count:2.5k

tags: brunch date, blind dates, book stores, sunset

Summary: Blind dates aren’t really your jam so you didn’t expect to enjoy this one so much.

No description, no name, no age, absolutely nothing. You were walking into the face of danger. Well, maybe not danger per say, but a blind date with no context and absolutely no point of reference to who your date would be. All your friend that set you up said that it was a total surprise and that he is a total hottie, completely your type.

Your eyes watch over the tons of people in crowded brunch places, already told that your date was waiting for you inside. Your friend texted ahead of time that he’d be early, hoping to make the situation a tiny bit easier for you. It did not.

Luck struck when your eyes land on someone you would define as a ‘hottie�� and met his round eyes before seeing him timidly smiling at you in the midst of the noise. He put up his hand and waves, to which you do right back.  You stare at him for a minute before realizing he’s urging you to take a seat, quickly following through. “Sorry, you’ve probably been waiting a hot minute.”

“Not at all, glad you could make it.”

“They literally didn’t tell me anything, just that I would know and here you are.” You playfully present.

“And here you are! Wow, I was told you were gorgeous, she was not kidding.”

His words already had you flustering, knowing you had those exact thoughts about him in your head. You cup your cheeks in embarrassment before immediately changing the topic. “Thank you, um, have you ordered yet?”

He shakes his head, “Just some water for now. Didn’t want to get my food before yours. They have a special, or you can get the surf and turf brunch item, gosh so many options, and mimosas! Hopefully bottomless, but ha, probably shouldn’t be drunk on a first date—oh my god, my head is all over the place. I’m Seungkwan, by the way.”

Gosh, he was way cuter than you anticipated.

“Thank you for reminding me, I definitely would’ve forgotten to ask. I’m Y/n.” You put your hand out for a handshake, which he accepts, firming grasping in a hearty friendly shake.

“I’m saying this more for myself than you, but let's relax. No formalities. I’m not really sure of blind date etiquette, to be honest.”

“Oh thank god,” you sigh a breath of relief, “Me too, I had no idea what to expect, but I’m starving, so don’t mind me while I scarf down a whole brunch special.”

“I am glad you said that because I will have no reason not to scarf down mine.” He put his hands up and caught the attention of the waiter tending to him before. “Hi, we’re ready to get some drinks—wait are you? Maybe I’m getting ahead of myself.”

“Oh no, you're on the money. I’m ready.”

You get your orders in, along with Seungkwan and it doesn't take long to get back into the flow of things. You wish that friend told you he was a conversationalist, you were initially worried you’d be doing all the heavy lifting. It made you wonder what was wrong with him that he was still single. He was super attractive, entertaining, and fit; a total catch. What was his deal?

“I hope you don’t mind me asking, but, what’s wrong with you?”

He bursts into laughter, your crass language taking him by surprise, finding it refreshing and even delightful. “What’s wrong with me? What did I do?”

“You’re just…I don’t know, perfect? Why did you accept going on a blind date? I feel like you’re perfectly capable of finding someone.”

He nods in comprehension, seeing where you went with pretty much insulting him within the half hour of talking. “Ah-ha, you say that, but I’ve hardly even made plans after a second, heck even a first date.”

“So, what is it? Dog hater? Conspiracy theorist? Or the worst of all…you’re a ‘movies over books’ guy.”

“Okay, okay. One, no. Two, I don’t even know what that would entail. Three, movies are better, okay?”

“Your flaws are unraveling right now. You’re on my watchlist,” You joke–notice the pun–in a feign serious tone, narrowing your eyes as he lightheartedly rolls his. “Okay, then what is it?”

He shrugs, unsure himself. He would ask himself that every day, and he’s sure–he hopes–he’s following every rule of not being an asshole with potential partners, but something always still missing. “I don’t know, I’ve just been told I’m not really…boyfriend material. They all end up wanting to be friends with me and nothing more. I don’t really get what I’m doing wrong if I’m being honest.”

You hum in ponder, elbow propped with a curved hand to your cheek. “That’s kind of hard to depict. So, you’re either the nicest guy on the planet or the worst guy possible.”

“Why?”

His sincerely hurt tone lets you know he’s assumed the latter, now making you both linger on the significance words ‘the worst’ like it was poetry poorly crafted in a beginner's workshop. Seungkwan at the moment is trying to figure out the trials and tribulations of adult dating, whereas you wondered why he was already pondering on the negative conclusion.

“Well, to say the furthest you’ve made it is only at the end of the second date can be a red flag in itself, but you have yet called yourself a ‘nice guy’, which means it’s more likely than not you are actually a nice guy. And that’s maybe the issue. You’re not setting off romantic vibes, hell, you even said we should drop the formalities.”

He shot his eyes and finger at you, accusatory, “Which you agreed to!”

“And accepting that too quickly was your first wrong step in the wrong direction.” You retort smugly. “Dating is like a soccer field, Seungkwan. You make the right moves, you score a goal.”

“...I do like soccer and scoring goals.”

“Well, so far you’re kicking the ball directly at the goalie’s feet instead of strategically making it to the net.”

“Alright then,” his elbows are parallel to each other as the interlock of his fingers holds up his face in amused anticipation, “What do you suggest I can do better?”

You stretch your lips out in a wide grin, already listing out the unorthodox first date activities you can teach him, but decides to spare him. Before you get started, you made made sure to finish your meals, leaving a decent tip when the bill arrived. You drag him out of the brunch place with a hand wrapped around his slim wrist and towards the direction of a bookstore, you knew is not too far from here. 

“Books…” he whines, “I’m eating my movies over books comment, aren’t I? You’re going to force me to read?”

“Tip numero uno: try doing things that your date might enjoy. There is so much magic in reading,” You run a finger through a shelf you know all too well and hand him the hardcover, “Here, go nuts.”

He playfully grimaces, observing the foreign object you’ve put in his hands, feeling the indentation of its engravings and subtle, yet stimulating, cover art it had to offer; in the midst a black, shots of red, purple, and yellow all over. It was, admittedly, beautiful, but wasn’t the saying always ‘don’t judge a book by its cover.’

“I don’t get it.”

“Just read. I’ll pick up one myself and we’ll share a spot in a corner with intimate lighting and little space.” You wink at him, grinning.

He can’t help but grin back, “Alright. Lead the way.”

You sit in the silence of each other in close space as you promise, scanning the jumbles and combinations of letters that would stare back at you. Although your selection was a mildly good read, you were curious about Seungkwan’s journey as you peek up from the covers and see him enthralled with the content (a good change from the yawning he was exhibiting earlier).

“How is it,” you whisper.

He barely catches your words in his immersion and looks up confused, clearing his throat as you blink back at him with a goofy grin on your face. He tries not to let the corner of his lips twitch, but fails. “Slow beginning, some alright pacing, have to admit.”

You nod, pretending to take notes, “Something worth finishing?”

“...Be honest, you brought me here so I would shut up, didn’t you?”

You snort, covering your face with your book. “Maybe you’d be cuter if you were quiet,” you answer, not denying it.

“That is so mean of you to say—you’re lucky I enjoy your company.”

As you enjoy his. Fortunately for both of you, you finished your books (thank goodness for fast reading and short books) and you both leave the store, surprisingly content with what has come out of it. You can tell he enjoys it, even if he denies it and triumphantly says movies are always better. There are smiles on both your faces, hands lingering at each other's side. For a somewhat quiet afternoon, it felt like I’d be memorable, at least for a first blind date.

“Look, the sun's setting,” you point out.

The air felt warm and alive, you’d think it’d have a mind of its own. This lights up a figurative bulb in Seungkwan’s brain, now having him be the one to tug to a place of unknown, and for some reason, you were okay with that, and rightfully so. You stumble upon a park together, luscious green grass with tall fibrous green trees to match.  It was a sign spring was finally here to embrace and enjoy. His hand now interlocked with yours, leads you to an empty park bench, hitting in direct line with the descending star in the sky, sharing a sigh as the colors shift gradually before your eyes.

For the first time in some time, you felt your heart tingle and were unsure whether it was the painting-eque scene before you, the soothing buzz of insects including the appearance of crickets coming out of hiding, or how Seungkwan’s thumb brushes against the back of your hand like it belongs there. Your once normal temperature hand felt warm in his, even comforting despite him being a stranger still, but something about it makes it ok. Seungkwan makes it okay.

“I haven’t watched the sun set like this in so long,” He admits.

“Why’s that?”

He looks down at his lap, a smile on his face. “Something I used to do back when I had free time, or when I needed time to think. I don’t really get that these days.”

“I can say the same.”

There’s an unspoken message you both share. Somewhere in the past that made a reason to stop moments like this. You both had the respect not to pry. The silence spoke for itself, a comfortable kind of silence, the kind that even Seungkwan found himself enjoying.

“I had a really nice day with you.”

You’ve both reached the footsteps of your front steps to your building, lacking the desire to end the day. Your hand feels like it’s fused into his and now you’re worried about how cold it’d be without him. Despite your remorseful mood, you hum, letting him know the feelings were mutual.

In his eyes, you sense hesitancy, feeling the disheartening sensation as he plucks his fingers away from you, and sighs in disbelief. The day just had to be over. He locks with your gaze, holding onto it as if he never would again. Just as you wave your hand at bidding him an amicable goodbye, he calls out your name to make you stop. You turn to him slowly, almost expecting—no hoping—it’s exactly what you think he’s going to ask you.

“Can I…kiss you?”

His tone resembles that of a timid schoolboy: a light dusting of red on his cheeks and ears, his eyes shifting back and forth, and his lips quivering before even forming those words. You lightly giggle, walking back towards him, standing close enough to him you can still smell the syrup breath from the brunch you had together, reminding you really needed to fix something for yourself when you get inside.

“Depends, is that something you ask on all your first dates?”

He shakes his head apologetically in defense. “N-not at all, I just thought, we had this moment—or I guess a lot of them, I don't know, maybe just me—that I wanted to do it but felt awkward to ask, but now I’m asking anyway which kind of proves me right—mmp.”

Your lips meet his mid-speech, lucky for you since the curve of your lips fit perfectly through the gap of his, close your eyes, and sigh in bliss when you feel how lush and soft they feel. Seungkwan pauses for a moment, for the first time glad he’s being interrupted, and reciprocates with heavy lids, savoring the felt and taste. It’s chaste and magical and even peaceful, something you could only read in books or watch in movies or experience after having starved yourself all day waiting for the morning to come so you can have breakfast. His hand finds your shoulder, steadying himself against it, but pulling you closer, the heat of the kiss making him momentarily lose all of his remaining senses. It leaves him wanting more, more than what first fate normally could offer, and he begs himself to keep it together.

When you part, it’s like a ghost of his lips is still there and you smile. “You talk so much.”

“Sorry.” 

You shake your head, grinning harder than ever. “It’s cute.”

His eyes finally shoot open and he drops his jaw in realization. “Your number! Oh my god, I was going to ask before you were going to leave—I mean if you wanted to give—“

“Sure,” you pull out your device from your pocket and are met with several missed calls and messages, ones that had you shocked, almost erupting with boisterous laughter. “Oh, my god.”

“What? You changed your mind didn’t you?”

You shake your head again, showing him your phone.

Jihyo: where are you

Jihyo: don’t you ignore me

Jihyo: you did not just ditch my guy 

Jihyo: you better have a good explanation on why you left a perfectly good date waiting around for you and didn’t have AT LEAST the decency to give me a heads up

Jihyo: OMG ARE YOU ACTUALLY KIDNAPPED, IM GONNA KILL YOU IF YOU'RE ACTUALLY KIDNAPPED

Seungkwan sees what you mean and laughs with you, now has the urge to pick up his phone and see a similar flurry of messages from his friend. You match in an expression of disbelief, finding this situation serendipitous, and although remorseful of having left out their real dates, they were not regretful of having met each other. It makes this encounter a lot more special knowing it wasn’t meant to happen yet the universe made it out to be that way. You both hope this time it’ll last.

[blackfairy312]

Snuppeteer Post 🐍🎭

INFODUMP BELOW just talking about these characters and their dynamic with themselves and the other characters in this AU

🍷 posting right now heehh

okay, so. Vincent Pietro Allard and Komi Tchaikovsky. this Five Nights at Candy's AU. let's talk about it.

so the Puppeteer's name in this AU is Vincent Pietro Allard. he met a guy in college and the two of them decided to start a theater together. they confounded the Rat & Cat Theater and hired some actors. Vincent wanted to use the theater to get a start on his acting career, to put his name out there so he'd be discovered by some actung scouts and whatever. his partner was more invested in the business opportunities of the place. Vincent's partner and fellow co-founder is currently unnamed, so Founder 2 (F2) is what we'll call him. he's involved in the franchise after the Puppeteer quits to star in Psychopath. F2 eventually makes the Candy and Cindy stuff... F2 is involved with Robotics Corp in this AU.

anyway, Vincent is obsessed with being successful as an actor. so much so that he basically always has to act. Vinnie, his puppet, is a bad-mouthed rude character that plays off of Vincent ("Puppeteer" as his character) who teaches Vinnie to be nice. cause Vinnie is 😠🙁 and the Puppeteer is 😀🙂. like the drama 🎭 masks. or something. i'm a little high typing all of this so i really hope my thoughts are coming across properly. basically, Vincent thinks too deeply about things. he put so much effort into his and Vinnie's characters, and he feels like he deserves praise and appreciation. he doesn't know WHY the kids are so scared of Vinnie, and he doesn't know why they don't like his thought provoking shows. he doesn't understand why the kids like the campy and comical Rat & Cat Show. why doesn't anyone like the Puppeteer & Vinnie Show?

a little inside joke with my circle is that the Puppeteer is a pervert. do you guys know that scene in Helluva Boss where Moxxie points at the mascot and says "i KNOW you're a pervert under there!" and the mascot goes "...yeah." that's it. you guys know Robbie and Rex from Victorious? yeah. so Vincent likes to approach single parents and will use Vinnie to flirt with them. he plays it off like the puppet is doing it and Vincent will go, "Oh, I'm sorry. Vinnie, be respectful!!" and it's just weird and uncomfortable. he's just playing it off like he needs to project through the puppet, there are so many layers as to WHY he's committed to playing a character all the time. do you guys know that image of the tindr conversation where the guys sends three dog emojis and texts "come here boy! leave that beautiful lady alone!" yeah that's Vincent. that's the kind of pervert he is.

with that out of the way, we can smoothly transition into Komi's section. i am now talking about myself in the third person. Komi picked her last name out for a reference. after her last two ventures (Marvel and DC back to back), and the previous four before those, Komi has finally decided that she needs a break from all this 'end of the world' nonsense. she goes back to the FNAFverse at a different point in time, to purposefully avoid being there during the Afton storyline. she settles into her 'human' life and picks up a job flier for a pianist, or just someone who knows how to play piano. Komi hasn't even allowed herself to do one of her hobbies is so long, and she immediately takes the flier home and dials the number.

then she meets Vincent, and she can immediately tell that he's weird. but it's kind of endearing to her, in a way. this woman has been in relationships with so many overly cartoony villains that nothing really phases her too much at this point. i mean, she dated Albert Wesker and almost married him until some asshole named Chris Redfield decided he HATES love and blew the guy up in a volcano 😒 the only thing about Vincent that unnerves Komi is Vinnie. just the way that the puppet looks unsettles her, like some uncanny valley. Komi was a doll in one of her previous lives (and a snake in the other one, it's a long story), so of course she's feeling uncanny valley from Vinnie. he has a puppet face with HUMAN EYES. you'll never see any of us draw in-game Vinnie unless it's Monster Vinnie or for comedic effect. the Vinnie design we draw is specifically for our AU.

at work, Komi likes to spend time with the children. some kids may be scared of the Rat and Cat costumes, so Komi provides activities for them to do. in this AU, Komi sets up an area for the kids to color and draw in books and with paper. an Arts & Crafts area. Vincent almost opposed to this because he has a huge ego and is a control freak and cannot stand the thought of someone making a decision without his permission or knowledge... but because it has good outcomes (parents happy, kids happy, actors get fanart), he allows it. the kids call Komi "Snake Lady" because of her eyes.

during shows, Komi has a small piano set up on the stage so she can play music, of course. i forget the specific theater terms for the stage setup, but backstage but not BACKstage. Komi also likes to help the Rat and Cat actors (Antonio and Richard in this AU) with practicing for the shows. they write scripts for every show and rehearse them all. a LOT of work goes into this place now that i think about it. i was in theater once. what a nightmare.

i have actually lost my entite train of thought. i'm going to put random Snuppeteer scenarios for the rest of the post.

Vincent thinks Komi is really pretty. But instead of telling her that, he says something about how she looks like she just crawled out of bed and didn't even bother looking in the mirror. this is somewhat true. Komi is depressed and she doesn't really have the energy to play a role.

Komi has a stoic expression most of the time and only ever really shows emotion when's she under the influence of something. she's affectionate and attentive when she's high. sometimes when she's stressed out, she'll get high and hang out with Vincent at his apartment, and he'll put on a movie and talk over the entire thing while she listens to him. Vincent is a cinema geek, he gets so passionate about movies (especially horror ones) and has so much to say, and Komi finds that so endearing. she loves his voice and she enjoys listening to how passionate he is about something he cares about. oh that's so sappy! and this is when they're dating! they were so awkward before that, you know? Vincent being weird towards her and Komi being a little curt back towards him. you'd think that she HATED him! but unfortunately Komi likes him BECAUSE he is a freak. did i mention she dated Jonathan Crane? very specifically our DC AU version who is similar to Danny Johnson Ghostface where he SEEKS fear and purposefully carries incriminating evidence on him to satiate his fear of getting caught. Komi dated THAT KIND OF GUY. she's a freak too. don't let that face fool you.

they're like James Sunderland and Maria. Vincent can't take responsibility for his crime and Komi thinks he's lame and pathetic. that means Vinnie is like Pyramid Head. because that fucking puppet probably HAUNTS him now after the incident. why do you think they never reused that character in the Candy's Burgers and Fries joints?

if you managed to read this entire thing, i'm sorry. i live in absolute delusion. cringe is not a concept to me. i have overwhelming confidence, and crippling insecurity. let me live in my palace of dreams.

[tessenpai]

Kono Oto Tomare Chapter 125 Scans and Rough TL

Disclaimer: Please DO NOT use this translation to make your own TL of the chapter!! The KOT TL group works very hard to give you the most accurate translation, that does as much justice to the original script as possible. This is a ROUGH translation. That means is faulty and there must be mistakes in certain places. This is just for impatient people like myself to get a grasp on what is going on in the chapter! You can REFERENCE my TL if you want to discuss the chapter but never USE it as it was your own.

Scans:

Page 1

Uzuki: Um, here.

Uzuki: The transportation and food expenses.

Isaki: Huh? I'm not accepting money from a child. Get that out of my face.

Chapter Title: Chibana's Song

Uzuki: Because... I'm a... child...

Isaki: You're a naive little shit no matter how you slice it.

Uzuki: Little shit...

Side text: The child that still doesn't know love...

Page 2

Isaki: In this kind of moment a "Thanks for the food" is more than enough.

Uzuki: ...Thanks for the food...

Isaki: Very good.

Isaki: Well then, I will see you here at 9AM tomorrow.

Tetsuki: Cough- Cough

Tetsuki: Wh----

Uzuki: ...

Page 3

Isaki: Don't you dare run away.

Uzuki: She wouldn't take it...

Uzuki [thoughts]: Just like Chika. Chika's aunt.

Isaki [memory]: You're a naive little shit.

Page 4

Uzuki: Munch munch

Isaki: Will you look at that, you ate everything.

Isaki: Atta boy.

Page 5

Uzuki [thoughts]: It has been a long time since I finished a meal.

Uzuki [thoughts]: It... had flavor

Uzuki [thoughts]: ---A family restaurant

Uzuki: You didn't have to be family to go in...

Uzuki [thoughts]: Even something like that

Uzuki [thoughts]: I-

Page 6

Isaki: "You're going too far". You're thinking that, aren't you, Takaoka-kun?

Tetsuki: Well, honestly, I'm not that kind so I believe that leaving him alone would be fine.

Isaki: Ahaha, thought so.

Tetsuki: ---but

Tetsuki: The adults around me gave me an incredibly blessed environment to grow up in.

Page 7

Tetsuki: It was given to receive love from my parents.

Tetsuki: To be scolded and admonished.

Tetsuki: The back that served as an example was always in front of me.

Tetsuki: The hand that supported me and taught me to believe in myself.

Tetsuki: I know that I have so many choices.

Tetsuki: I am who I am because of that support.

Page 8

Tetsuki: Without that foundation

Tetsuki: I do believe it's pretty hard to climb up from the bottom by yourself.

Tetsuki: So the fact that you offered him a helping hand is---

Isaki: Eeeeeeeeeh, that's so grown up---...

Isaki: Takaoka-kun, are you truly a student?

Tetsuki: Huh...

Isaki: I'm very sorry, but is really not that deep.

Isaki: I simply wanted to watch Uzuki's defeated face next to me.

Tetsuki: Eh?

Page 9

Isaki: Nah, I'm just half-joking

Tetsuki [thoughts]: Meaning half of that was true...

Isaki: When it comes to music, it doesn't reach everyone equally.

Isaki: When I saw Uzuki today

Isaki: It just made me think

Isaki: "Ah, if this kid, in the state he is in, were to listen to Chika and de rest's performance..."

Page 10

Isaki: "He might just drown in despair"

Isaki: That's not what Chika wanted, right?

Isaki: Ah, I'm not saying I don't trust in their performance, ok!? I do believe in them but--

Tetsuki: I understand Please look forward.

Isaki: Well, it's not like it would make a huge difference if he listens with someone else.

Isaki: He might be just fine listening on his own, but

Page 11

Isaki: I just don't want Chika to regret calling him.

Isaki: Well, in short, this is my ego talking.

Tetsuki: I see.

Isaki: "I see"?

Isaki: Takaoka-kun, aren't you getting a little bit too comfortable with me?

Tetsuki: Hahaha

Isaki: I'm gonna take you for a ride now

Tetsuki: I'm very sorry.

Isaki: Oh, it's already 4PM.

Isaki: We had lunch at midday, didn't we?

Tetsuki: That's right...

Isaki: Then Chika and the others must be...

Page 12

Isaki: About to end the first day.

Page 13

Sign: Osaka Prefecture. Chibana Girl High School.

Song: "Higurashi" (Evening Cicada) written by Nakanoshima Kinnichi.

Page 14

Atsumu [thoughts]: It's Yamada style... I can't help but feel some kind of kinship.

Atsumu [thoughts]: The name "Higurashi"(Cicada) really evokes the summer---...

Page 15

Satowa[thoughts]: Rain shower...

Page 16

Takezou [Thoughts]: Woah, the sound is so good.

Takezou [thoughts]: There is a bitterness and depth to it.

Takezou[thoughts]: It harmonizes...

Natsu[thoughts]: Tsk It's good.

Page 17

Akira: It seems like Chibana always participates with a "Utamono (Lyrical)" song.

Mittsu: Lyrical!

Sane: Is that like the "Perversion of Water" performance you played, Akira-sensei?

Akira: You even remember the name of the song.

Sane: That's because it was a performance that changed everything for us by hearing the very first note.

Page 18

Akira: Thank you very much!

Natsu: If it's lyrical, does that mean there are parts where they sing to some lyrics?

Akira: I wouldn't call them that...

Akira: The song is challenging to sing because of its unique vocalization and verse arrangement.

Akira: In the performance, one note in the song has many elements packed into a single letter.

Akira: And above that, you have to do it while playing...

Sane: We could never...

Page 19

Chika: But if they always rank high, that means that...

Page 20

*No text*

Page 21

*No text*

Page 22

*No text*

Page 23

*No text*

Page 24

*No text*

Page 25

*No text*

Page 26

Akira[thoughts]: I've never heard singing express so much...

Tsukaji[thoughts]: As expected of their "Lyrical". A school that has always protected its spot at the top.

Tsukaji[thoughts]: As if it has been carefully passed down from generation to generation

Tsukaji[thoughts]: The thickness and depth of the sound and the colorful voices combined with it---.

Page 27

Tsukaji: The unique and incomparable Sound Of Chibana.

Page 28

Sfx: [Sound of cicadas]

Page 29

Sfx: Woaah

Sfx: Clap clap clap

Sfx: Waaaaah!

Page 30

Atsumu [sfx]: Drip drip

Natsu: Woah What is it?

Atsumu: It just kind of reminded me of my Grandpa.

Natsu: Well, it was a fine performance A shame tho.

Atsumu: Yeah!! I really liked it!!

Hiro: The singing was amazing wasn't it?

Takezou: Right? It was really surprising--

Sane: This is bad---...

Mittsu: I could hear the cicadas singing.

Kota: I'm tone-deaf so I'm so impressed---

Page 31

Chika [thoughts]: The koto, song, and sound... It was a song that really cherished every single one of them...

Chika[thoughts]: To people who have been accumulating these sounds. I wonder if I've made these people feel bad without my knowledge.

Chika[thoughts]: I thought I didn't care what other people thought about me, but---...

Chika [thoughts]: ....Ahh--....

Page 32

Chika[thoughts]: Dammit...

Takezou: ...Hey, Kudo-kun. The sound really lets everything out in the open.

Chika: Eh?

Takezou: Those people's true essence.

Satowa: !

Chika: Yeah...

Page 33

Takezou: I'm very much looking forward for them to listen to our performance

Chika:-----

Page 34

Chika: Yeah!

Satowa: Kudo, I'll give you these.

Chika: Eh?

Satowa: Candy that cheers you up.

Page 35

Chika: These are my favorites! How come you have them!?

Satowa: Ch- chance?

Hiro [thoughts]: Satowa-chan...

Narration: On the first day of the Koto Music Division of the Japanese Music Festival, the 32 schools finished their performances.

Side text: Even unvoiced thoughts will be conveyed.

---Kono Oto Tomare! will continue in the next issue---

[wandafiction]

Sounds Like A Date - Just Us Chapter 9

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1890

Series List | Chapter 8 | Chapter 10

================================

"Knock, knock." My sister's voice travels gently across the room, as she lets herself into my room. "Sorry to wake you, but you keep getting messages from an unknown number. They ask if you're still up for meeting today...."

"Today?" I shoot up from laying down and now sat facing my sister. "Pass me my phone please." 

She comes to sit next to me passing my phone off to me, I see a few notifications on my phone but specifically read the newest text.

Unknown: Are you okay? You're not replying? Please say this is your number. (10.43 a.m.)

"Shit." I groan as I unlock my phone to see the various messages I've received, scrolling back to the first one. 

Unknown: Hey Y/n! Just wanted to say I had an amazing time last night, and a lovely time this morning. Can't wait to see you again. (8.30 pm)

Unknown: Oh it's Wanda by the way. (8.31 pm)

Unknown: You made me feel so many things I haven't felt in a long time and some I've never felt before  (10.21pm)

Unknown: the gils say hellloooo. I ddnt tell them yhat mucj jusy that I splrt wit somon.  (10.53 pm)  (The girls say hello. I didn't tell them that much just that I slept with someone.)

I can only assume she was drunk at this point and I giggle to myself as I continue to read drunk texts from her that get harder and harder to understand as I go on. They range from telling me how sexy I am to a ramble about some friend drama. And then one text which is literally a bunch of letters.

Unknown: iralywnttocuagin (11.47 pm)

"What are you giggling at?" Carol peaks over my shoulder to read some of the messages. "Oh wow. Whoever it is is very drunk….she called you sexy? Oh my, is this a new girl?" 

"I don't know, we literally slept with each other Friday night, dropped her off Saturday late morning and then the panic attack happened. I can't believe I slept through the whole day and night." I rub my hands over my face as I continue reading the messages.

Unknown: Oh my god! I am so sorry about all the messages. I was completely out of it. (9.20 am)

Unknown: are you busy today? (9.30 am)

Unknown: is everything okay? You haven't messaged back at all? (9.50 am)

Unknown: I'm sorry that sounded rude. Just message me back. Please. (9.52 am)

Unknown: so Natasha has just informed me that I did indeed talk about our encounter on Friday night. Of course she is the only one who actually knows who you are.  (9.57 am)

Unknown: did I do something? Or are you regretting everything?  (10.13 am)

Unknown: I knew it was too good to be true (Message deleted) Unknown: you could have just said it was a one time thing for you instead of giving me your number. (Message deleted) Unknown: I'm more worried than frustrated. Are you okay? (10.34 am)

Shit! She thinks I'm ignoring her! But what do I tell her? I can't just be like 'hey, sorry I'm not ignoring you. I just had a fucking huge ass panic attack yesterday after getting home and have only just woken up.' No that would scare her away. She doesn't need to know about that.

"Can you help me message her so she doesn't get angry for the radio silence, but also doesn't run away?" I timidly ask my sister. Instead of replying she snatches my phone, types something in and passes it back. Oh god. I look down to see what she has said.

Y/n: Hey, I am so sorry. I got home and my sister surprised me with a surprise visit, and she made me turn my phone off so I could spend some 'quality' time with her. We stayed up way too late and I've only just woken up. (11.24 am)

Oh. That's not so bad. Carol places her hand on my back, rubbing it up and down for a few minutes while we sit in a comfortable silence.

"Thank you." It's the only thing I can say to her about yesterday and this morning.

"Always." She kisses my right temple, and I wince slightly. Okay why does that hurt, oh shit I hit my head as I went down. "Let's get that eye of yours sorted out, yeah?" 

"Is it bad?"

"Badass? Yeah!" We both laugh as she hoists me off the bed playfully shoving my back so I walk towards the bathroom. "But it does look like you lost the fight to the counter. It's a nice black eye though, you wear it well."

"Well I guess that's good." Ping. I turn to look at my phone and smile at the message I see.

Unknown: It's okay. I understand, siblings are important. I hope you're not too tired, I wondered if you wanted to meet today? 

~unknown~ changed to ~Wanda~

Y/n: I'm not too tired at all. What have you got planned?

I sit down on the stool in the bathroom, while Carol grabs a washcloth to give my face a clean. As she is wiping it she is looking down at me with those oh so caring eyes she has, maybe a little sadness, but also understanding. She smiles gently down at me as my eyes light up when another message comes through.

Wanda: Well I was thinking maybe going to a small café for a drink, some food. Then maybe go for a walk in the local park that's there, just talk and get to know one another. Then maybe head back to yours for a movie?

Wanda: or we could head to mine? Up to you really? So what do you say?

Y/n: sounds like you're asking me on a date? 

Wanda: What if I was? What would you say? 

Y/n: I would say, yes. Yes I like the idea of the date. Do you want me to pick you up from yours or meet at the café?

Wanda: Pick me up, please? 🥺

Y/n: Of course princess. What sort of time?

Wanda: In an hour? 

Y/n: I will see you then. I need to sort myself out so I will let you know when I'm leaving. 

Wanda: okay! See you soon! 

"A date? Huh." My sister's voice brings me back from looking at my phone, her curious gaze on mine.

"What?" I put my phone on the side, as I stand up to look at my face in the mirror. Well shit that's going to take a lot of makeup to hide.

"Nothing. Just proud of you." She brings my body into hers gently wrapping her arms around my body, even though I tower over her, she always gives the best hug.

"I'm proud of myself too." I rest my chin on the top of her head, slightly bending down to match her height better.

"How long has it been?" She looks up at me, so I move to stand up straight to look down at her from a more comfortable position. 

"I haven't had a date since Stephanie." She hums in response hugging me tighter at the mention of my ex's name. She pulls out of the embrace her hands on my cheeks gently rubbing them, avoiding my eye.

"Okay, well let me know how it goes. Also if this is going to go somewhere I want to meet her." I go to say something but she puts her hand in front of my face telling me to stop. "Not straight away, no. Maybe after month 1 or 2. You need to be sure this is what you want, and that it's going to work. If it is, well, then I will meet her. Only to make sure you don't find yourself in a situation you've you've in before. Okay?"

I'm not even going to argue, she is my older sister of course she is going to be over protective. "Okay."

"You listen hear….wait….Okay?" She seems surprised by my response, I mean I would normally try and make excuses. However, I know she won't let it go so why let this go on.

"Okay." I see her smile up at me.

"Okay then. Now do you need help with your makeup." She points a finger at my eye.

"Please." I say as I hand her the makeup bag, sitting on the counter next to the sink. I hardly wear makeup, but I have it for PR events and other business events.

It doesn't take long for Carol to do my makeup, making sure all of the blue and purple of my black eye is coveted nicely. She suggested wearing sunglasses, which only works if it's sunny; and it's not. It's currently overcast but the weatherman said there's no chance of rain, that's good at least.

"So it's a date?" Carol asks, when she comes to join me in the walk-in closet.

"That's what she said." I look around the clothes that are hanging up trying to decide what to wear.

"You slept with each other Friday, and are now going on a date today. Which for your information is Sunday." She turns her head to look up at me.

"Yeah why?" I ask as I pick out a pair of black skinny jeans holding them up against some tops.

"Nothing, just seems like you're both diving in head first." She brings over a plain white sweatshirt holding it against the jeans.

"Is that a bad thing? I mean people who online date, technically class their first meetings as a date right?" I place the sweatshirt and jeans on the island in the closet and head over to grab some shoes.

"No it's not a bad thing but it's like you missed steps 1 to 3 and skipped straight to sex and now are doing steps 1-3." She laughs as she brings over a light brown overcoat placing it on the island with the other clothes.

"Well isn't that how mom and dad met? A one night stand turned into 13 years of marriage." I raise an eyebrow in question as I turn to her, showing her some simple black vans in my hand.

"You're right, I know nothing." She laughs as she chucks me my clothes from the island.

"Exactly, you and Maria met in the air force, and you being the ever romantic person you are, took her on plenty of dates before actually doing the deed. Now look at you. Your married, you have Monica and that stupid ginger cat." Her eyes light up as I mention her wife and child, the biggest smile plastered on her face.

"You're right, I know nothing about one night stands, apart from mom and dad's story. Now get changed and go on your date before she thinks you stood her up." She gives me a pointed look as she leaves the walk-in. "Oh by the way, I'm staying for a couple of days. Want to catch up with people." She shouts behind the closing door...fun.

Y/n: Just putting on my shoes, leaving now.

Wanda: I will see you soon y/n.

Y/n: see you soon Wanda.

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