#of my sigh

[witchcraftingboop]

Me after trying to explain for two days, on and off, that if you delete the first quarter's data, you cannot use the year's total value for an unrelated KPI to figure out what that value might have been: Y'all are draining me on a spiritual level... Where are the cameras? Bring them out! I'm ready!

[itsscaredycat]

karaoke night ✨💫

(tap for better quality)

[yuri-puppies]

comic translated by laikabu original post inspiration

[batsyvie]

[playdohpim]

nothing more embarrassing than holding a blonde man dear in your thoughts. you were supposed to be the enemy.

[jenovacomplete]

daylight savings is actually truly one of the most evil things in the world. just casually forcing us to confront the fact that time is fake while torturing insomniacs, autistics and schoolchildren across the globe. when will the agony end

[amygdalae]

another underrated moment: Laios casts waterwalking

[chronotopes]

I think a healthy thing to do after a United States election is to publicly describe visions of impending scenarios from your young adult dystopia novel of choice with ironclad certainty

[peteytheparrot]

ALL OF THE IMAGES YOU GET WITH THE CODE ‘DISPENSE MY TREAT’ The file name is ‘BILLS FILE DO NOT OPEN’ lmfao

[keplerspacecraftofficial]

electing to believe this is what griddlehark looks like to everyone else

[fangirlghost-19]

i need an excuse to get my shit together so here we go:

if this gets 50 notes i'll drink more water everyday

if this gets 100 notes i'll start cycling once a week and logging it

if this gets 200 notes i'll start eating more fruit

if this gets 500 notes i'll apply for a summer job

if this gets 1000 notes i'll actually make plans with my friends

if this gets 2000 notes i'll tidy my entire wardrobe

if this gets 5000 notes i'll get a better skincare routine

if this gets 10 000 notes i'll do something about my mental health

the numbers are intentionally high bc i really don't want to do any of this and yeah there is a deadline of the end of june

[jinaxxo]

oh arthur...

[powdermelonkeg]

Fun fact: We know the size of the Pokémon world because Scarlet and Violet has framerate issues

I'm not answering any more questions

[dear-ao3]

pov your ex held your collection of thrifted spoons hostage for over a year (not entirely his fault, they got mixed up in his things during a move and you did not realize it, though he did adamantly deny that he had them) and reached out to your roommate on instagram nine months post break up after being thoroughly blocked for several months just to ask if you were still roommates and then to very cryptically reveal that he had in fact found the spoons (among other, mystery items that he did not reveal and you also have no idea what they are) in his car that he had not driven for a year cause he decided to make the worst financial decision of his life and buy a tesla and then tried to coordinate a meet up to drop off said spoons and mystery items which you did not want but you do want your spoons so you told him to either mail it or show up to your place of work when you were not scheduled only for him to entirely miss the point and still try to see you, then you reveal that you do not want to see him so he finally says that he will put on his big boy pants and mail it (though him actually mailing it is entirely unlikely) and also aparently hes gotten a perm since the last time you saw him and it looks terrible

[lesbian-hannibal]

her: you better not be a bug in a rug when i get there

my snug ass:

[o4i0n]

came across a tiktok where the bride surprises the groom with her ‘spicy’ photos throughout their wedding day and all i can think of is pulling a stunt like that with nanami .. the embarrassingly bright flush that appears in red splotches below his neck that creeps up his ears; the way he blinks at the polaroids you discreetly slip into his clammy hand before he looks at you, then away again as he clears his throat to dismiss his reaction; the flustered smile that quirks up at the corner of his lips as he chuckles because the timing could not be any more perfect (for you, at least. it isn’t for him but he’d let it slide).

the pictures aren’t too explicit—god knows you’ve been more brazen in the past with your now-husband. they’re sensual, tasteful, and you know that they’re just right when kento tries to pull you away to somewhere secluded during the busy moments in between your reception since he told you that your guests can wait a few minutes. you tell him no, not yet, but not without handing him another polaroid.

even if he kind of expected it, he can never truly prepare himself when he flits his eyes down. you’re donned in lingerie that hugs your body in all the right places, and best of all, the set you’re wearing shares the same shade of blue as his signature dress shirt.

he can’t wait for the formalities to end.