#of course. but this is janeway we're talking about

[miminmimikyu]

i finally got around to watching the finale of star trek prodigy and man, i really didn't expect to get a bit emotional about vice admiral janeway personally taking the kids on as warrant officers

ok.... i would never call captain janeway captain mum, because even though she was so protective of her crew i don't think that was mothering. but she has such a way with (/ love for) children! how she was so kind and gentle to naomi, and the borg children or any of the children they encountered in the delta quadrant. and now these kids, the ones who made holo janeway grow so much! i can't wait to see how vice admiral janeway will interact with them

also, having holo janeway's final act be burning that supernova across light years of space, and now the fact that she existed is immortalized in the stars??? god damn it that was beautiful.

[jenlrossman]

Tuvix as a metaphor for Janeway's mindset throughout Voyager

When Tuvok and Neelix merged into a new individual after a transporter malfunction, Tuvix was born. Possessing a combination of the memories and personalities of his component parts while still being his own unique self, Tuvix quickly proved he was more than just a transporter accident, showing he had potential to find his place among the crew of Voyager and settle in to this new normal.

And when Janeway learned of a way to separate him, bringing back Tuvok and Neelix, Tuvix was killed. Against his wishes, against the doctor's ethical subroutines, Tuvix was killed.

I'm not going to discuss whether or not this was right. That's an entirely different subject that many people have debated ad nauseam.

I just want to talk about how the decision to kill Tuvix and bring back Tuvok and Neelix might actually be the defining moment in developing Kathryn Janeway's mindset for the rest of the series. The sometimes questionable mindset best described as

"There's the right way, the wrong way, and the Janeway."

To Captain Janeway, Tuvix is a problem to solve. He is the thing standing in the way of the status quo, the thing preventing her from seeing her loved ones again.

She says as much, when Kes is expressing reservations about developing feelings for Tuvix and says she hasn't given up on the idea of him being separated.

You’re experiencing what people on this crew have been going through since we first got stranded in this quadrant. Do we accept that we're separated from our loved ones forever, or do we hold onto the hope that someday we'll be with them again?

Tuvix, therefore, is a physical representation of being stuck in the Delta quadrant. He is the thing preventing them from being with their loved ones, and she might not be able to get everyone home right now if ever, but she's going to do everything she can to see Tuvok and Neelix again.

Whether or not it is right for her to kill Tuvix, that isn't as important to her as proving—to herself and to her crew—that she is going to do anything she can to get them home, and killing him is a symbolic representation of that.

We see this mindset continue throughout the series, and the Lower Decks episode Twovix gives us some great examples.

While most of the crew is dealing with another transporter malfunction, Boimler and Rutherford are dealing with holographic representations of various things the Voyager crew encountered. And they just happen to be some of Janeway's greatest hits… Or misses.

Michael "delete the wife" Sullivan—Janeway's holographic Irish boy toy, who she widowed and altered to suit her preferences even though those episodes deal with the possibility of all holograms having a chance to achieve sentience

The macrovirus—which was dealt with by Janeway unleashing it on a crowd of (again, possibly sentient?) holograms

The personification of fear—the clown who was defeated when Janeway went so far to save her crew that she literally made the concept of fear afraid of her

Chaotica—Janeway didn't particularly want to play the role of Queen Arachnia but she got very into it because when push comes to shove, she really doesn't mind being the villain if it means protecting her crew

And of course, the Borg…

The series finale of Voyager is the ultimate example of the "anything to see our loved ones again" mindset Janeway shows in Tuvix.

Voyager gets home. It takes 23 years, but they get home.

However, Seven is lost along the way, Chakotay dies after reaching earth, and the delay in getting home has exacerbated Tuvok's Vulcan equivalent of Alzheimer's to the point that he is not himself anymore.

Three of the most important people in her life, gone.

So what does she do? Of course she doesn't accept that, she can't, she never has been able to.

Kathryn Janeway goes back in time, erases the lives of everyone in the universe to rewrite history on her terms, she defeats the goddamn Borg—just to see them again.

And of course she does it herself. As we learned in Tuvix when the doctor refuses to separate him, Janeway doesn't care. She'll do it all herself, ethical consequences be damned, she just needs everyone she loves to get back to the Alpha quadrant.

So whether or not it was right to separate Tuvix, it doesn't matter. The right way, the wrong way, none of that matters. Not to her, not as long as doing things the Janeway gets everyone she cares about home safely.

[clementine-kesh]

oh we're talking about shit with hate? good. i'm having a morning where i need someone to trash talk jean luc picard to me for some reason.

YESS HATER THURSDAY (on a tuesday) LIVES ON IN OUR HEARTS. okay so a while back i made a post about how picard is the most boring captain and i stand by it so hard. this is subjective opinion of course, but the most interesting thing picard did was pave the way for janeway and sisko and the shows that stress-tested the idea of the federation’s utopia. and you know what? that’s fine! a lot of people like that tng presented that utopian ideal to strive for, that picard was the ultimate diplomat who could solve everyone’s problems with a well-timed speech. the problem is that there’s only so much you can do with a character like that from a character exploration standpoint because at that point they’re less of a person and more of a tool for delivering ethics lessons.

now, picard (the show) had the opportunity to deconstruct picard (the character) and make him something more than a tool for delivering ethics lessons. but it either made the problem worse by having him save the galaxy three times in a row or trying to make up a tragic backstory which fell completely flat because it hasn’t influenced him as a character at all throughout the rest of his appearances so felt completely meaningless. the other problem that picard (the show) had was that it was written by picard stans who’ve internalized the idea that any problem can be solved by giving a good enough speech and if it isn’t working you’re just not diplomacying hard enough. that scene in lower decks where tendi’s freaking out and smashing shit while turning into a giant bug and all the tryhard ensigns try to fix the situation by making speeches while boimler is the one who actually calms her down by being silly and making her laugh is a damning condemnation of these types lol.

it’s been a long time since i’ve actually watched through tng so i can’t really comment on that but one of the worst things to me about picard as a character in picard is how he’s never wrong. when ro laren showed up her betrayal was framed as being all about him and the federation and he never once had to actually have any introspection about the maquis situation. horrible decolonial politics but what can you expect from a frenchman. even if everything else wasn’t a factor i’d hate him for that alone. anyways to sum everything up ⤵️

[insanewaykathy]

ONE FINE DAY, IN THE ALPHA QUADRANT, SEVEN AND JANEWAY TALK ABOUT THE RESEARCH

KJ: Hey, Seven, tell me… Has Chakotay ever made you a bathtub? 7: No… KJ: Hmmm. Maybe a headboard? 7: I don't even have a bed… JK: No? How about this… Has he ever told you an old legend confessing his love for you? 7: No! KJ: Have you and him ever sailed around Lake George drinking champagne? Don't say anything… I already know. No? 7: No, but I packed a picnic! KJ: Ahhhhh. I imagine he brought you flowers? 7: No, I brought him flowers… KJ: Ohhhh… Maybe he brought his very rare Antarian citron for your date, right? 7: No! KJ: Hmmm, I understand. But he helped you find your animal guide… 7: No! KJ: Then I have to assume he didn't give you the stone from his medicine kit either… 7: No! KJ: How about a birthday present he spent 5 months planning? 7: He doesn't even know when my birthday is! KJ: Has he mentioned your legs yet? 7: He's never seen my legs! KJ: The first time he was captain, did he take a hologram of you on the mission? 7: Hologram… Mine? Of course not! KJ: Maybe he met an evil version of you who would eat your heart if he could, but he said that no matter what reality he was in, he would never hurt you… 7: That sounds crazy to me! KJ: No, girl! What's really crazy is being stuck with him on a planet for what would be your entire life, the man practically jumping for joy and setting up a homely life for the two of you… It was like that when you were stuck on that planet, wasn't it? 7: No! In fact, we only stayed for a day and he said he was happy to be back on Voyager! We barely got near each other and he went off to socialize with the natives. KJ: Hmm, curious. But he complimented your dance performance, right? 7: I've never danced around him. KJ: Has he ever eaten your horrible food without complaining just to enjoy your company? 7: My food is great, but he's never complimented it. KJ: Has he ever kidnapped his past self and breathed on her neck while she nearly passed out from lust? 7: Hey??? KJ: A massage, so… There was a massage, right? 7: Massage??? KJ: Has he ever gotten jealous when an omnipotent being wanted to mate with you? 7: No omnipotent being or Chakotay has ever wanted to mate with me. Where the hell are you going with this? KJ: It's for my research, you know… 7: And what's it about? KJ: Platonic friends. 7: But we're not platonic friends! KJ: No… But we are.

[firstroseofspring]

i didn't want to leave a wall of text on that muse post by @marxistgnome but i love it so much and this is going to be so rushed but i could go on and on and on about b'elanna and storytelling and narratives. this got really long and so under the cut it goes

it all really ties into that post i once saw about this consistency with b'elanna episodes where they reveal more about her as a person through her interior life- her thoughts and dreams and visions... what she does when she's alone. and muse really gives us this close up look at the way she sees things and what she cares about through kelis - the stories she tells him and the way she interacts with him- because he gives this good intimate portait of the world as b'elanna sees it- as she's described it to him (almost makes you wonder what she was considering there- whether she thought she should tell someone their stories because they're stuck in another quadrant and might not make it home, or if she thought she wasn't going to get off that planet and might not make it back to voyager)

and of course he's crafting a play so there's room for his own creativity but b'elanna tells him their story really well and she cares about it and you can tell. she cares a lot.

we get another really good look at this in barge of the dead like famously- and it's so consistent in that episode too because she's on the barge and she recognizes kortar from the stories her mom told her as a child and he directly acknowledges that. he says she believes in grethor and in him and she believes because her mother told her the story after she nearly drowned in the sea of gatan. remember prophecy? she's recounting the whole heroic battle with the borg to the klingon generation ship that think baby miral is their savior and the whole scene is framed like (at least it felt this way to me) that for all she says about not being familiar with klingon culture in any respect, the way she interacts with storytelling especially reveals the depth of her understanding of it- shes telling the story and she's telling it really well according to klingon custom and the first thing the visiting klingons do after she tells it is compliment that ability. and its sooo much.

when her and harry are going back and forth at the end of muse and she just goes harry have you ever inspired somebody? when he asks why she even cares so much about the ending of kelis' play. there's just like this klingon belief about living a life that's worthy of being shared with others- like when in day of honor the hologram is evaluating whether she's spent her year honorably and asks her what she's done with her life that's worth celebrating and she can't answer and he tells her that she's giving him excuses. and the direct parallel that could be drawn about how she feels about that with the janeway vision in barge of the dead where she's being condemned and the whole reason is that she's done nothing worthy of glory- 'nothing worthy of song and story.' my goodness

even when she convinces janeway to let her go back to the barge- janeway says it's not real, that she won't let her risk her life for something that she only thinks she experienced- but b'elanna tells her it doesn't even matter if she thinks it was real- that it was real to her and she cares about what her mother thinks of her and she doesn't want her to die thinking badly of her.

we see this with worf, of course the angle we're given is honor and truth and duty- but how you're remembered and talked about is important, even from generation to generation- disgrace in his family is disgrace for him. when they accuse his father of being a traitor at khitomer, it's important to him that his father be remembered as he was - truthfully, honorably, as someone to remember well (even the titles and names they give themselves being little retellings of their lives and the members of their family- on memory alpha worf isn't just worf, he's worf, son of mogh, of the human family rozhenko, mate to k'ehleyr, father to alexander, husband of jadzia, bane of the house of duras, slayer of gowron etc etc.)

((sidenote but b'elanna never in her life introduces herself as b'elanna daughter of miral always as b'elanna torres but on the barge of the dead kortar calls her miral's daughter immediately. and if she's partially from this culture where naming and titles are so important in that respect and b'elanna thinks her mother is. not what she wants to be known by not what she wants to be identified as it's soo relevant to what she calls herself. roxann dawson said that b'elanna wanted to be 'human and perfect' like her father and so she's not ' b'elanna daughter of miral' anymore because she doesn't want miral to be a part of her story, how she's remembered. so it's belanna torres.))

anyway this same- dedication to truth we get from worf and his father's memory we see even with b'elanna in 'remember' where she gets those telepathic dreams/visions from the alien woman about what really happened with that group of people they oppressed. the crew discover that the dreams are starting to affect her health- and so they offer to suppress them, take them away and b'elanna just refuses. because how else will she know what happens to them? who's going to tell their story? and she shares that story once she has it with anybody who will listen because its worth telling.

i'm going a little crazy but klingons and writing and literature and song and stories and living memory its all so. it's ridiculously important culturally. and how that translates back to b'elanna is so fascinating

[femmmie]

The planet with two faces

I wrote this for @haruspeks in the @startrekwintergiftexchange ! I've worked on it for the entire month lol with my partner, we had so much fun thinking of scenarios and stuff! We also invented a Delta Quadrant planet haha :) I hope you like it! <3

~

"Chakotay!" Janeway calls out for her number one.

Her head hurts - the Janurean who just hit her, lays knocked out on the ground.

"Captain," a strained voice comes from behind Janeway. "We have to retreat, there is no winning this..."

"Just stay behind me!" Janeway commands. But more and more Janureans flood into the room.

"Surrender," their leader says. "And we will spare your life."

Janeway looks the hostile alien in the eye. "No."

read on ao3

~

One day earlier

~

"Captain, Seven," the Doctor greets the two women in his sick bay.

"Is this really a good idea, Seven?" Janeway frowns at her ex-borg Astrometrics officer. But a smile tugs at the corners of her mouth. Seven looks as determined as ever. A quality Janeway appreciates, as she is a stubborn person herself. Debating Seven is never dull or easy.

"My calculations are sound. I assure you, captain, it is safe."

"I concur," the Doctor says, examining the screen with data about the procedure he's about to conduct on them. He tilts his head, looking at Janeway. "You won't feel a thing."

"That's not what I am worried about," Janeway says with one eyebrow raised.

"We will be at great tactical advantage, and will not need transponders," Seven answers.

Janeway squints and scrunches her nose. Seven will always get her way in the end anyway. "Let's just get this over with..."

~

"What's on the menu today, buddy?" Chakotay asks Neelix with a smile.

"Oh! Well, nothing special today, I'm afraid, commander. But! Tomorrow I will have the chance to collect all kinds of delicious herbs and vegetables from Janu. I can't wait to cook with those! It's almost Voyager's birthday, did you know that? I'm going to make an excellent Voyager birthday soup!"

Chakotay looks straight at him.

"Oh! Well, today, I do have a stew, famous on Earth for it's spices and... sloppy texture..."

"Right... Thank you, Neelix."

Seven walks into the mess hall.

"Seven! What a nice surprise, I don't see you often here in the mess hall."

"I'm not here to eat," Seven tells him. I'm here to discuss the tactics of the mission with the captain and commander Chakotay."

"You know, I'm also joining your expedition!"

"You are?"

"Why yes, it's so I can collect some delicious herb-"

"Captain." Seven walks up to Janeway, who just entered the room. "Is it wise to bring Neelix with us? He has insufficient combat training."

"We won't be fighting anyone, Seven," Janeway says calmly.

"How do you know this?"

"We're going there to scan for Deuterium, as we can't pierce the magnetic field of the planet. We'll be in and out, no questions asked."

Janeway and Seven sit down at Chakotay's table, and they talk while Janeway and Chakotay eat from the stew reluctantly. Seven looks at it, puzzled.

"Do you truly choose this over ration bars, Captain?" she asks.

Janeway looks at Seven, not able to hide her smile anymore. "You know what, Chakotay? Seven has a point."

~

Janeway, Neelix, Chakotay and Seven get ready to step into the Delta Flyer.

"Good luck finding that Deuterium source, team!" Tom Paris says. "And..." he looks at Chakotay. "Take care of her for me?"

Seven looks at Janeway, searching her face for answers.

"He means the Deltaflyer."

"Of course I will," Chakotay reassures Tom Paris. He pats him on the shoulder and enters the flyer. Paris looks after them, a smile on his face but his eyes revealing worry. He is the best pilot after all, not Chakotay. But the commander has more experience dealing with pre-warp civilizations. He sighs and looks after them as they fly away.

They leave Voyager and fly into space, approaching the red and green planet of Janu.

"Isn't that pretty," Neelix gushes, looking ahead. "It's like the planet has two faces, one on each side with it's own color."

"We will be 100% undetectable with the Deltaflyer's improved camouflage," Janeway says.

Chakotay nods. "And we should be able to cruise through the magnetic field with our navigational deflector and coating. The corrosive effects of the field should keep to a minimum."

Seven and Janeway raise their eyebrows.

As they get closer to the planet, they enter the magnetic field. The shuttle begins to shake and they are hit by some space rubble.

"Shields at 80 percent," the computer voice says.

"Hold on, this will be a bumpy ride!" Chakotay says. Everyone grips their armrests.

"Shields at 40 percent," the computer says in the same steady tone as always. But the crew doesn't feel so steady. They bounce around the aircraft. The only one still in place is Chakotay, a crazed look in his eyes, mirroring his past when he was still with the Maquis.

~

Janeway slowly comes to. Her vision sharpens and she sees a wooden ceiling. Her head hurts. In fact, her entire body hurts. She slowly turns to look at her surroundings and sees someone sitting in a chair beside her. It's a Janurean.

"Oh no, the prime directive," Janeway thinks. But it's too late for that now.

"How are you feeling?" The Janurean asks.

"Like I've been hit by something big. But it seems you're taking good care of me."

The Janurean blushes and smiles. It's a young woman. "I'm taking care of you and your friends. You fell out of the sky. You must be our gods."

"Oh, no, not at all," Janeway says a bit too hasty. Because waking up, she doesn't have a good cover story yet. "We, ah, we got swept up by a mighty wind, and then we fell down, it's quite remarkable."

"How could the wind sweep up a house made of metal?" the woman says.

"I have no idea either," Janeway says. She sits up, rubbing her temple. The lack of morning coffee is becoming a real problem.

Janeway hears someone groaning. She turns around and sees her crew all in beds, clothed in Janurean robes. They are also waking up. No sign of their transponders or combadges.

"Where are our clothes?" She asks.

The woman looks at her apologetically. In a hushed voice, she says, "it's not safe to wear the clothes of the gods. We're protecting you here, but there are many who also saw the falling star. And they're looking for you."

"What do they want with us?" Chakotay chimes in.

"They think the falling of the gods means the end of time. Destroying you is the only way to save our world. I know, it's foolish and I don't believe it at all. It think you're here to enlighten us. And so does my family."

A small family enters through the doorway. A young male, an elderly person and two small kids. One shy, the other waving at them. Neelix winks at her. She laughs. "You look funny," she says. Neelix smiles.

"I'm very grateful you've tended to us, but I need to know where our clothes and things are, and where our... metal house is?"

"Oh, don't worry, we have hidden your house well. Nobody can find it. It's safe."

"I appreciate that," Janeway says, getting annoyed now, "but I still would like to know where it is."

"Please," the woman says. "Tell us about the skies? Teach us?"

Janeway and Chakotay look at each other.

"How do you feel?"

"I've been better," Chakotay jokes.

Seven eyes the windows and door of the room. She gets up. Her dress is brown and wavy. Janeway thinks it suits her better than the suit the Doctor gave her. Her hair is loose and falls over her shoulders. Seven shoots her a look. Janeway quickly looks back at Chakotay.

The Janureans huddle together in the doorway. "It's not safe to go outside," they urge Seven.

"Let's try to think of a plan first," Chakotay says.

"Let me through, I can take care of myself," Seven insists. She pushes past them and is out of sight.

Chakotay looks at Janeway like he blames her. Janeway ignores it.

~

Seven walks outside. It's early morning. Three moons grace the green sky. The house of their hosts stands in a small village. There are several shrines around, all portraying the moons. She scans the inscriptions. The shrines indeed tell the tale of the gods, that 'will come down again to bring forth the final Wisdom'. Nobody is outside yet but her. She resolutely walks over the village square, in a straight line towards the small alien forest beside it...

~

Janeway and Chakotay try various ways to get the family to give back their gear. But nothing seems to work: they don't respond to appeals to their ego, and will not be divided in any way. They just want to learn about the sky. Chakotay tells them some basic things that wouldn't further compromise the prime directive. Janeway looks distracted. They all have breakfast together, everyone except for Seven, who's still gone. Chakotay peers out of the windows. But Janeway just chows down on the food they've been given.

"Well, this is delicious!" Neelix breaks the tension. "What is this made of?"

One of the children says, "It's my favorite too! We add herbs from our garden to make it extra tasty."

"I would love to see that garden!" Neelix says, friendly. The child quickly finishes their meals and tugs on Neelix's arm. The mother says it's okay, as the garden is fenced. Nobody will be able to spot Neelix there. They walk into the garden.

"Wow, these flowers are beautiful."

"And tasty!" The kid says.

"I really like this place, it's so pretty! And your family so nice."

"Not everyone is nice," the kid says, face clouding over.

"Oh, yes I heard the people who want to capture me and my friends?"

"They are mean about that, yes. But they are always mean. They want to go back to how things were before."

"How were things before?"

"I don't know! I'm just a kid." Neelix smiles.

"But I do know where your stuff is! Come, follow me!"

Neelix follows the kid around a corner, and through a shrub, out of the garden.

"You know kid, sometimes you gotta look back in order to move forward. But forward you must go."

They walk to a shed behind the house.

"Here it is!"

Neelix opens the door of the shed, and puts their combadges into his pocket.

"YOU THERE!" An angry Janurean calls. He has a whole bunch of fierce looking friends behind him.

"I guess these are the mean people," Neelix says to the kid and they both run around the house, back inside.

"Where did you just come from?" The mom asks the kid.

"I just showed him their stuff..."

"That's dangerous!"

"But it's theirs!"

"Please, don't blame your kid, I shouldn't have let them out of the garden in the first place."

Neelix gives the combadges back to Janeway and Chakotay.

The angry mob bursts into the room.

"Give us the tri-moon gods!" their leader commands.

The young woman who tended to the Voyager crew, hisses. "Leave the gods be! They are here to teach us!"

"They are here to destroy us!"

Janeway stands up. Her injuries are still fresh, but her wit has fully returned. "We are neither gods, teachers nor destroyers. We are simply explorers from the other side of Janu. We just want to go back home-"

The angry Janureans attack and hit the elder Janurean.

"Leave them out of it!" Chakotay calls out and jumps into the fray.

Everyone is fighting, except for Neelix who hides under a table with the two kids.

Janeway jumps in front of a big Janurean that was about to hit the young woman. In stead, the blow lands on her head. She's out of a moment. When she comes to, the fight is still ongoing.

"Chakotay!"

"Captain, we have to retreat, there is no winning this..."

"Just stay behind me!"

"Surrender," their leader says. "And we will spare your life, for now."

Janeway looks the hostile alien in the eye. "No."

And at that exact time, Neelix, Chakotay and Janeway disappear.

~

"How did you know where the Delta Flyer was?" Chakotay asks Seven, who sits smugly at the helm.

"Irrelevant," she jokes.

"Seven used her Borg-skills to locate it," Janeway says, smiling into one corner of her mouth. "That is, she saw some bushes outside of the village and used her, very human, common sense." Seven smirks.

"How do you know that?" Chakotay asks.

"The Doctor installed a temporary mind-link in our cerebrum. This way, we could communicate, not that much unlike the Borg, and work together."

"It was highly effective," Seven adds. "Although," she pauses for a moment, looking at Janeway. "It was strange as well. I thought I would be more used to a shared mind, but I think... I like a bit of mystery."

Janeway, Chakotay and Neelix look at her, dumbfounded. Then everyone laughs. Except for Seven.

"And guess what?" Neelix says. And he shows a bag full of herbs from the planet. "We will eat Voyager birthday soup tomorrow!"

Chakotay and Janeway politely smile and thank Neelix. Seven raises her eyebrow.

"Captain," she says.

"What is it, Seven?"

"Why did you give all those replicated goods to the Janurean family?"

Janeway sighed. "I know we can't interfere with their lives too much, but at least they will be able to buy off their enemies for a while so they don't get more trouble. Didn't you get that through our link?"

"Your emotions often cloud your judgement and your thoughts become hard to read."

"I'm a human being, having emotions is part of the package deal. Besides, I feel your emotions as well."

Seven looks stoic, too stoic maybe.

"It is nice to understand each other for once, though."

[wholesomemorbid]

What Price, Pegi?

Part One

Description of the images above, written in an expanded format. This comic is drawn in an expressive, cartoony, monochrome ink style, spread across thirteen pages.

It begins with a title card saying WHAT PRICE, PEGI?, which shows a confused half-Tellarite captain in front of her ship, The Truckee, which appears to be menaced by giant red hands in space.

~

Captain Piggy played a flute in her ready room, like good captains do. Commander Len Mesze stuck his head in to talk to her. "We're ready to beam down to the planet," he said. "I could handle this one. You look busy."

The planet Beta Tarsinus swam slowly behind her through the window. She replied, "Don't be silly! I wouldn't miss my first away mission as captain!!"

"Of course not," Mesze said through a clenched-tooth smile. "That would be terrible. But an -- er -- experienced commander might be good on this one..."

The captain dismissed his fears. "Stop worrying! I've been studying great captains!" She's thinking about people like Captain Picard, Captain Janeway, Captain Pike, Captain Mariner... But she threw herself laughing over Mesze's shoulder, unaware he looked *very* annoyed. "Boy those nerds BARELY knew what they were doing!!!"

She walked down a hall toward the transporters, which were in the shuttle bay, cheerfully greeting a passing crewman in a skirt uniform.

"The crew seems to have accepted me! They like my style!" she said cheerfully. "And I can't go wrong with an amazing away team!"

Her away team is already waiting on the transporter pad. One of them is a dolphin from Cetacean Ops, and the other is Chief Medical Officer T'Bok.

So annoyed that one of his eyes has blown out, Mesze said, "Yes okay good, at least I'll be in command up here."

Pegi jumped onto the transporter pad with her team. "Make it so!" she said in the wrong context.

VWINNGGG! The trio transported to the surface of Beta Tarsinus. The Cetacean officer beamed straight into a nearby body of water, singing "ee ee ee!" while T'Bok and Pegi landed on a walkway.

"I have reservations about Mesze in command of the Truckee," T'Bok said as they beamed in.

"Don't worry! This will be a routine away mission! Totally routine!" Pegi replied cheerfully.

T'Bok noticed something ahead of them. "Doctor..."

Pegi wasn't looking. "We'll be back in no time!"

"Are you quite sure about that?" asked T'Bok, pointing out the issue at hand. Literally at hand. Because there are two giant red hands menacing the city where they've arrived, floating in the sky over the buildings...

~

Want more Accidental Captain Piggy? Follow me to occasionally get updates. I'll tella-you-rite now, I don't post a lot, but it's good every time.

1 like = 1 phaser blast set to sweet little kisses

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time!! saturday we watched voy's "jetrel" and ds9's "family business" and last night we did voy's "learning curve" and ds9's "shakaar."

jetrel (voy):

this came so, so, so close to being one of my voyager must-sees, and i actually really did like most of it, but the wild out-of-nowhere turn at the end really ruined it for me

i was very VERY surprised that the guy playing neelix like, fucking acted this so well. love and light to the tng cast but i don't know that any of them could cry on cue except of course sir patrick stewart, whose character i sadly don't care about

i also loved neelix's story about the traps... "i had become so fascinated with my invention i never thought about how the poor creatures would suffer" aimed directly at the man responsible for the mass murder of his people was really good

AND i thought he and kes were really sweet this episode. he's worried about their differing lifespans which is spirkcore :(

that said...i mean this in the most disrespectful was possible...this felt like a tng episode at the beginning and end. like the middle was REALLY good. it brought a lot of depth to neelix. but the fucking atom bomb apologism happening in this episode was like. reprehensible lmao

first, we've got janeway in the beginning...like, the scene where neelix tells her who this guy is and about what happened to his family was SO good. she was appropriately horrified and they both acted the hell out of it. she even acts as go-between so neelix doesn't have to talk to this guy!

but then, why let him on board at all? why try to go back to neelix and convince him to see him? and she jumps at the chance to fly out to the moon this guy DESTROYED if it means a chance to cure neelix - without asking neelix's opinion first. she trusts this guy WAY too easily. i will never fucking understand society's obsession with stanning oppenheimer as like, someone cool and fascinating worthy of this kind of dissection. if anything, he's a cautionary tale.

then we have the end, which came out of NOWHERE...neelix is a deserter because he disagreed with what his people were doing? we didn't get so much of a mention as to what his people were doing prior to this moment right here, so it does absolutely nothing to complicate the issue and everything to muddy it. it's then muddied FURTHER five seconds later when he's like well no i deserted bc i was a coward! like, which is it, was it a moral thing or a being afraid of death thing? it's fine if he doesn't know and it's fine if we're not supposed to know but i think if we're not supposed to know we should be TOLD that

also like. surely "we had to drop the atom bomb on the civilian populations as a show of power" was an old tired argument even in 1995. it's not original.

finally, kes saying that neelix didn't need to hate jetrel and she knows that all along his hatred has been aimed at himself...IT CAN BE BOTH. you can have survivor's guilt and you can hate the person who bombed your home out of existence. and HAVING survivor's guilt/deserting the army is NOT an equal crime to dropping the fucking ATOM BOMB and it doesn't make neelix "just as bad" like it's not the fucking gotcha these writers think it is. kes is essentially telling him he SHOULD feel guilty and hate himself for surviving, except not really, because hating people is bad, so he should forgive himself AND jetrel

DESPITE. BY THE WAY. JETREL LYING TO ALL OF THEM THE ENTIRE TIME. scene fucking one and neelix is like no we can't trust that guy and HE WAS RIGHT

neelix isn't dying and jetrel isn't trying to find a cure, he is trying to reassemble those poor people to ease his own conscience (which would do more harm than good, the person they tried to bring back was obviously sufering, like that one alien from emanations). and still janeway and kes were like but neelix he's so sad about it

the lesson of this episode SHOULD have been "you can't bring back the dead and you MUST value life over scientific achievement" but instead it was "let's forgive oppenheimer even though he doesn't deserve it because we're so fascinated by the fact that he feels kinda guilty."

they could have fixed this so easily but cutting the forgiveness scene and having kes tell neelix literally anything other than "you're not being fair to oppenheimer here :(" like this devils advocate both sideism shit is SO tng it's physically painful. all we had to do was condemn mass murder. it's not hard! this was almost voyager's version of duet from ds9. SIGH

AND LIKE. lmao sorry i came back to edit this bullet in. i just re-skimmed the transcript and the way neelix was like maybe the bomb was punishment for all of us...for our hatred...so you think japanese CITIZENS needed to be punished for their GOVERNMENT entering ww2? absolutely fucking appalling. not only that, but it can't be your end line and your final gutpunch moment when NO effort was expended on telling us anything about the war or what neelix's people were doing that was so bad the CHILDREN deserved to be bombed

at the very least, it did make me like and become interested in neelix as a character. i didn't DISLIKE him before, i love his little jackets, etc etc etc, but it's not the same as knowing his whole deal. and KNOWING amount of pain he's been through puts a new perspective on his general attitude - many other characters with neelix's backstory would be surly, angry, have trouble connecting with others, typical edgelords etc. and i LOVE those kinds of guys. but neelix CHOOSES to be cheerful and silly and sweet and gentle, and i really love that too.

also, final note, even though it involves the holodeck, i wouldn't be mad if pool became voyager's poker. i like them having a Thing!

family business (ds9):

i dont really...understand the point of ferengi episodes. like, some episodes are hah arent ferengi funny little guys! which, aside from ferengi themselves being antisemetic stereotypes, is fine. i hate them, but other people like them, so whatever. but the episode with the cross-dressing ferengi and especially the mom...theyre like hey it sucks to be a woman ferengi! and quark's like yeah but that's not my problem. and they argue about it the whole episode like quark will you change your mind ever? and he's like no. and theyre like ok then bye. they either part ways or his mom agrees to start following ferengi laws again or whatever

like, i don't think this episode really developed quark as a character...it did shed some light on how he grew up, but considering the sheer level of misogyny happening to his mother, i found it really hard to care about any aspects of his tragic backstory about not being the favorite child or whatever. rom is so much more likable and you actually feel bad for him because he could have been great with the robotics etc and was stuck being quark's henchman

like, i swear every time they say female i want to tell them to go back to reddit.

like, i'm not a total killjoy here. sometimes misogyny is funny, like in that episode where scotty gets possessed by piglet and keeps serial killing women. 10/10 one of my all-time favs. but somehow, and trust me ik it's all subjective, ferengi stuff feels worse than that.

i feel like "females arent allowed to wear clothes!" was a one-off line in the worst season of the worst star trek show (the introduction of the ferengi was SO BAD they scrapped them as series-long villains) and they took that and ran with it and were like teehee but it's okay because it's their CULTURE we have to respect other CULTURES that's the prime directive TONY YOU CHOSE. TO WRITE THE CULTURE LIKE THAT. GROW A PAIR.

edit i nearly forgot sisko meeting that lady was so cute. get it. valid b-plot

learning curve (voy):

this was tuvok's galileo seven. to veer slightly off topic here, my issue w galileo seven is that there's a bit where spock goes "ah my first command how could it have all gone so wrong" despite having actively ignored or belittled everyone's emotions during this highly emotional time. spock is not FUCKING stupid. he works with humans. he lived with a human mother growing up. he is in fact: half human. he knows how emotions work. he knows that if a spaceship is crashed and a guy dies there will be unpleasant emotions happening. and yet somehow he is surprised that, when not taking human emotion into account or allowing for its existence, things go poorly. HE WOULD NOT FUCKING SAY THAT. he knows, better than anyone on earth, the difference between humans and vulcans

tuvok is not half-human but he is also not an idiot. he's worked with janeway for years and he was quite literally an undercover agent with the maquis. he knows how they do things and what they value. he taught humans AT THE ACADEMY for YEARS. he can meet them in the middle!!! vulcans don't do emotions but they do HAVE AND UNDERSTAND them and whoever wrote this episode did not understand tuvok

like, the entire reason for the lessons was to make the maquis guys feel more at home. boot camp does not make people feel more at home. it breaks them down and builds them up but the thing is people go to boot camp mostly willingly, or, in this universe they go willingly. the maquis guys did not ask to be here. they do not want to be here. you can't just fix them with boot camp

also, the way janeway and chakotay hatched this plan and then threw tuvok into the deep end...nobody was going to them to be like hey why do we need to be doing this, they were talking to tuvok.

i did REALLY like chakotay hitting that guy on the grounds of how outrageously problematic it is. he's like YOU WANT TO DO THINGS THE MAQUIS WAY? and then just suckerpunched and said he'd KEEP beating the shit out of him until he followed orders. absolutely horrific, totally uncalled for, and completely out of line. i fucking loved it. i wish we got more of chakotay trying to find the balance between maquis and starfleet people bc that really feels like it should be HIS plot and arc - he fits in well with both but also feels a little alienated by both at times. the true spock of this series

speaking of spock, there was SOME justice for galileo seven - in that episode, there's a b-plot involving one of the guys potentially having to stay behind because of the weight limit. i assumed the entire time spock was coldly talking about this plan that he intended for HIMSELF to be the man who stayed behind, thereby both redeeming him from his earlier mistakes AND illustrating he did understand emotion and value life...and then it got abandoned and not brought up again. so when tuvok forbid the ensign to save his friend because HE HIMSELF intended to run back into danger and do it, that was a little cathartic i cannot lie. still a bad concept overall though.

neelix moment!! neelix noticed when tuvok sat on the wrong side of the table <3 i wish they had more scenes together, they're such a funny little pair

i liked tuvok and that one guy playing pool together, at least in concept. i still think the concept of this episode is bad, but hearing about maquis experiences, letting them voice their concerns and air their grievances, directly to starfleet people, would probably go a long way towards mutual understanding. they're all stuck out here, but tuvok's wife of 67 years is waiting for him at home and the only girl this maquis guy ever loved got raped and murdered. i was a little iffy on that by the way but i think i'm so used to tv censoring stuff like that that it feels ballsy for them to just SAY it instead of using euphemisms. even tos couldn't have got away with that, and it doesn't FEEL like they're doing it for shock value or (like in tng) for fetish reasons. it's a running trend in ds9 that they're not afraid to do an unflinching portrayal of like, the violence of colonizers and occupiers, and i think in this particular scene voyager was attempting to channel some of that energy, and it mostly succeeded, it's just that the rest of the episode sucked so bad.

the b-plot of this episode was quite charming. the cheese which infected the biomechanical ship. GET THAT CHEESE TO SICKBAY! 10/10 lines and credit where it is due

shakaar (ds9):

i have become the very thing i sought to destroy because despite my intense dislike of the word bitch, and the fact that i almost never use it otherwise, i am readily shouting it at my screen every time kai wynn opens her fucking mouth. i HAVE to stop. it's turning me into a misogynist. it's turning me into a fucking ferengi.

that said, she is a bitch and i hate her so much!!! i didn't even LIKE bareil and she still needs to get his name out of her mouth. jesus christ on a bike

this episode is kinda similar to learning curve in that we're presented with a few one-off characters we are likely to only see a few times from now if at all (shakaar himself excluded, i'm pretty sure he and kira date later) and asked to care about them. ds9 did a much better job at establishing the kind of camaraderie you really care about...the story about the guy giving up his arm and feeling lucky hit even harder than the dead girlfriend maquis guy story. and i REALLY liked how at home kira was with them, in a different way than she is on ds9...never forget she is and always will be a bajoran terrorist and GOOD for her.

i feel like we could have gone more into why wynn wanted those soil thingies so bad. was it because she wanted to boost her image up by exporting shit again or is she just a horrible control freak? meanwhile the planet is starving and she was already a sure win since no one was opposing her...shot her own damn self in the fucking foot

i liked shakaar actually, and i'm not looking forward to him and kira breaking up eventually even though it's got to happen before kira/odo, because they either break up because he is a bad person and she'll be sad, or because he doesn't want her anymore and she'll be sad, or because he's dead and she'll be sad. please treat her really niceys

anyway it was great because kira realized she couldn't kill a fellow bajoran and put her weapon down and i was TOTALLY expecting him to be like whats wrong with you arent you on our side have you sold out to starfleet have you gone soft i cant believe you'd pussy out now BUT THEN HE ALSO. PUT HIS WEAPON DOWN. AND THEY JUST TALKED ABOUT IT. so many times serialized tv rely on plots that only work if everybody is fucking stupid and no one talks to each other (see: learning curve) so it was a HUGE deal for me when this actually happened. i was neutral on shakaar until this point and now i am like he is my friend. even if kira could do better. girl, odo is right there.

AND he's running against winn!!! def has my vote

b-plot for this episode was charming. nobody else had anything to do so they had to stick em in quark's to play dart. quark was ALMOST normal enough in this episode to get me back to square one but i did also derive pleasure from his gambling misfortunes. also, it's hilarious that o'brien is turning to darts so heavily in this wifeless time that he's blowing out his shoulder. he's wrung every last bit out of racketball that he could and now he's destroying darts. what will he turn to next..........

TONIGHT: ds9 double feature of "facets" and "the adversary."

[sharpnothashtag]

The Good Ship CrushWay, Chapter 57

Dukat enters into an interrogation room. He is very clearly upset.

Dukat: What I did was wrong. Voice 1: That much we know. What we don't know is how you did it. Dukat: I told my crew to find a way. Voice 1: How did you hack into Janeway's communication systems? Dukat: I used to work on Terok Nor. I noticed whenever newer Starfleet ships would come to Bajor, there were high levels of hydrochordizine tachyons, but only when they communicated with us or the surface. I told my crew to flood the area with meclichordiphosphate. I saw the hydrochordizine levels drop. Then, I told my crew to try to access their communications systems using our main computer system. It worked. Voice 1: How do we protect future Starfleet ships from this kind of interference? Dukat: How should I know? I only noticed the correlation after a few years of racking my brain. I didn't know it was going to work. Voice 1: And the suicide attempt was just for show? Dukat: No. I wanted to die. Now, I fight with everything I am to stay alive. I want to make my daughter proud. Voice 1: I know. And I think she would be. Would you sit down with a few engineers and technicians to show them what you talked about? Dukat: Of course. Voice 1: All right, then. You're free to go.

Joy is sitting in their quarters. Their eyes are fixed on a point, and they begin to shake. We see inside their head. Joy is flying. They seem upset. They land near a body.

Joy: Joy. You have to rise, Joy. (wiping a tear from their eye) The universe is counting on you. Sissun, Chuti, Keriss--they're all counting on you. You can't give up now. Geordi will finally get all he's ever wanted. (the body twitches) That's it, Joy. Rise! You will make them whole again.

Joy comes out of her vision breathlessly. They stand and press their combadge.

Joy: Joy to the bridge. KJ: What's wrong, Joy? Joy: Have we left the dock yet? KJ: We're about to--why? Joy: (on their way to the bridge) Geordi needs my help. KJ: Let me call him. Open a channel, Ro. Ro: Channel open. KJ: Janeway to LaForge, come in please. Geordi: LaForge here. Joy: (bursting through the door) Geordi! Geordi: ...yes, who do I have the pleasure of speaking to? Joy: My name is Joy; I'm a Kaanor; I use they/them. Geordi: What can I do for you, Joy? Joy: You will be working with Sissun, Chuti, and Keriss when they recover? Geordi: Yes. They still have a few more days before we'll be ready for discussions. Joy: A few more days? (Geordi nods.) I am terribly sorry. We will meet again soon. (the channel closes) KJ: Not to pry, Joy, but that was rather odd. Usually, one handles their own communiques without disturbing the functions of the bridge. Joy: I apologize, Captain. I couldn't tell when I was. As I age, that sense of time becomes less and less accurate. I shall not bother you again in my communiques with Geordi. KJ: Thank you. Dismissed.

Joy exits the bridge without a word. They walk to Daneel's quarters and ring the bell.

Daneel: (running late) Joy? I need to be on the bridge--is everything okay? Joy: I need to speak with you, but it can wait. When will your duties on the bridge be over? Daneel: In about 2 hours. You are welcome to stay here, and I will see you when I return. Joy: How kind of you! Thank you. I shall wait.

A few hours later, in KJ and Bev's quarters

KJ: Well, are you ready? Bev: More than I have ever been. KJ: Is Wesley coming? Bev: Yes, he's very excited. He wants to walk me down the aisle. KJ: I can think of no one more perfect. (a light kiss) Bev: Is it okay that this wedding is a bit more traditional? KJ: Of course. Why wouldn't it be? Bev: Well, I just thought that you'd want it to be a more progressive event. The concept of us both wearing white is so outdated. KJ: Maybe a little, but you love the romance of that old cliche. Bev: Yes, but do you? KJ: Beverly Grey, I am thrilled to marry you. I don't care if you dress me up like a Targ--we've already done the important vow exchanging part. This ceremony is just a ritual: one you found comfort in. I love that about you, just like I love every single little thing about you. Our wedding day is about what makes us us. Part of what makes us us is that you want to have such a unique, vintage wedding. We get to celebrate us, Bev. Bev: I love you, Kate. So much. (a kiss)

Data enters Daneel's quarters and is surprised to see Joy.

Data: Joy. Forgive me, but what are you doing here? Joy: Daneel will be done with their duties on the bridge shortly. When they return, we must speak. You may stay, of course, but I must speak with Daneel concerning the Gratitude Festival. Daneel: (entering, seeing Data) I suppose this is more important than I gave it credit for. Joy, please begin. (they sit) Joy: What does the Peldor festival mean to you? Daneel: To many Bajorans, it is a way to thank the Prophets for their blessings. People write tales of their woes and burn them as a way to start new. Joy: Yes, this I know. But what about you? Daneel: Since I don't believe in the Prophets, I tend to take this time to remember and thank all the people in my life. I spend hours writing out letters to them thanking them for what they have done for me, and coming to peace with that in my soul. Joy: What about those who have died or that you cannot contact? Daneel: I burn those letters. It is difficult to find a place on a starship, but most of the time the holodeck suffices. Joy: And those you see regularly--do you thank them in person? Daneel: I was going to this year, but I haven't before. Why? Joy: There is a way to thank those who have passed. Daneel: Tell me more. Joy: I have found a way to visit with the dead. Rather, I am a way to visit with the dead. Daneel: What? Joy: I am a Kaanor. My people have long had relationships with other planes of existence and pieces of the space-time continuum. I am able to connect with one of my many other selves in other planes or other times. I've discovered that one of my many selves has ventured to the Bajoran version of the Afterlife. Your friends are there-- Daneel: What friends? Joy: Leenik Zidi, Hoannith Zeeda, Nurti Eroso, and Ridi Kaikial. They wanted me to tell you that they send their gratitude this and every year. I thought I would see if you wanted to speak with them. Daneel: (very emotional) W-W-Would I be able to s-see them? Joy: Yes. Daneel: (trembling) Data? What should I do? Data: I will support you in whatever you decide. Daneel: (to Joy) Can I think about it? Joy: Of course. I will be in my quarters if you wish to talk further. (They stand and leave the room.) (Daneel collapses in Data's arms, shaking.) Data: Daneel? Daneel: (pleading) Hold me. Where, when, and who. Data: (holds them) You are on the Starship Aiftadaa. You are Lieutenant Daneel Akares, my partner and tactical strategist extraordinaire. This is the year 2377. You are safe.

[delta-queerdrant]

explore stupid nebulas, win stupid prizes (Cathexis, s1 e13)

Oh boy, this is a pretty stinky episode in my opinion, but we get to talk about Janeway's hair some more, so there's that.

We start with Janeway's gothic holonovel! Jeri Taylor was responsible for introducing this storyline, and I see what she was going for, but the problem is that the holonovel is very boring and not terribly credible as a leisure activity for our overworked and underpaid captain. I'm so very confused about Lord Burleigh, who ought to have at least an edge of Byronic charm but is giving us nothing to work with. Of course it is Star Trek and genuine on-purpose sex appeal is hard to pull off.

We do get the first interaction that one could, if you really squint, call sapphic (on the logic that, in a post-Daphne Du Maurier's Rebecca world, all interactions between governesses and housekeepers are inherently psychosexual).

I do not love a Victorian gown but Janeway's hairdo is pretty fun! This woman has so much hair and it's hard to imagine her styling it reliably without some help. My head canon is that Voyager has a holographic barber and Janeway regularly heads down to the holodeck when her coif needs coiffing.

Speaking of the coif, she has a more streamlined version of the French twist from the last episode. It's still better than her usual but a bit awkward and helmet-y. Again, I just think that an undercut (or even a pixie cut) is the solution they're looking for. Her poor hair stylists.

The rest of the episode is, appropriately, a ghost story. (It's gothic, geddit?) I guess it's an okay plot - people are getting possessed, someone is lying, there's a ghost cam POV, nothing adds up. For me it lacked stakes and suspense, especially on a rewatch. During most of the episode we just have a general vibe of "something is up"; without substantial more clues, it's hard to feel like we're solving the mystery alongside the characters.

Oh boy, the medicine wheel! I don't feel like I have any business trying to make sense of what's going on here, beyond the fact that the medicine wheel they're portraying seems to have more in common with appropriated New Age practices than Indigenous / Pan-Indian beliefs (and, of course, Chakotay doesn't have a tribe so it's impossible to say what's "correct" for this character).

Also, the whole conceit of "character has a religious practice; science fiction stuff happens that superficially resembles, but does not actually have anything to do with, this religious practice," feels pretty wonky, especially in this case. Once again Chakotay's culture is instrumentalized for the sake of the plot.

I did think it was an interesting touch that the Doctor is knowledgeable about Indigenous medicine. I like this, but it's such a can of worms! The Doctor is able to provide culturally-informed care, but he's still programmed by / presenting as a white guy; I feel there's a tacit implication that inclusive medicine is when white people learn about non-white practices. What if Starfleet vessels had Indigenous holograms programmed by Indigenous people? Or if the EMH had subroutines that adapted his presentation, knowledge, and practices to any patient? What would it mean to decolonize AI, both in our world and in science fiction?

My notes from the scene where Chakotay finally wakes up - "All Doctor wants to do is to write papers, all Janeway wants us to touch her crew inappropriately." Girl, get your hands off that man's chest! Janeway's wandering hands are an iconic part of her performance, and of course good acting often benefits from more physical proximity than would be appropriate in real life, but you are his boss, ma'am.

Yeah, sorry, this one did truly nothing for me. 1.5/5 vaguely racist musical flute cues.

[samthetrekkie]

I'm a bit late, but I've finally managed to watch the first episode of season 3 of picard. I thought the cinematography was great in this one, especially compared to season 1. (Idk what they were thinking in that season in general.) and I'm so glad we're back in the prime universe at the "present" and just seeing what the new technology and uniforms are like, you know?

I've once seen a post about annika hansen being akin to a deadname to seven. of course that's a bit of a stretch, but I feel exactly the same way about using her birth name! and seeing how uncomfortable it makes her really highlights the level of discrimination by cpt shaw. and I have said this before but seven in a starfleet uniform is such a full circle moment for me, I could tear up.

I still don't understand though, why they have to introduce female main characters as renegades, like seven before and crusher now? probably to make them seem more "badass" - but the producers remember janeway, right? you can be in starfleet and kind of a rule follower and still be badass.

it also made me so happy when seven said that apart from picard, janeway was the one to talk her into rejoining starfleet. imagining them to reconnect is such a pure thought. I wish they would bring janeway in once, but I honestly doubt it. they could at least give us a little voyager score though, like they do with tos and tng in this!

all in all I really liked the first episode. it was very different from season 2, which I had surprisingly enjoyed, but I'm not mad they went back into the more classic star trek direction (at least in this episode). I think it would've been even greater for me, if I had recognized all the tng references - but just seeing seven being seven makes me so ridiculously happy already. I hope they don't make her all renegade in the end again, though.

p.s.: I have mentioned before how I think raffi and seven have no chemistry imo, but it is kind of problematic that the entirety of their relationship so far has only happened off season. for the second time now. again, I don't need to see their relationship unfold, but it is a bit of queer baiting to tease it and then show absolutely nothing real…

p.p.s.: I have decided against making current seven my new profile pic bc then I'd have to change my header color as well and I prefer science teal over command red, sorry :/

[theabstruseone]

Oh boy, the universal translators. This is hands down my favorite sci-fi tech to think about because it's a great handwave - You don't want to go through the expense of creating a fake language for every alien species on a show (particularly one with as many aliens as Star Trek) and you don't want to force actors to learn said language and have to emote while speaking it.

But the moment you think about how this technology works in-universe, it becomes this fascinating web of overlapping problems that can only be answered with out-of-universe production answers.

Why does the Universal Translator only sometimes translate Klingon? Is there something inherent in the Klingon language that makes some words and phrases untranslatable (even though they often give a precise translation immediately after)? Because the Universal Translator doesn't do that for other languages. You'll hear "Qapla'!" a dozen times an episode when Klingons are around like it's something that cannot be given shape in English, yet we never hear the Vulcan language phrase for "Live Long and Prosper". Surely if "Qapla'" has nuanced meaning in Klingon, the Vulcan word for "Logic" must have similar complex meaning.

The answer is CBS and Paramount spent a shitload of money paying Michael Okuda to make a fake language and they're going to use it damnit! Plus it sells copies of the Klingon language books they made.

But hands down my favorite question to think about is this one:

What does Worf sound like without the Universal Translator?

Worf was raised by Klingons before being adopted by humans who live in Russia. Assuming he learned Klingon as a baby, does he speak baby-talk-level babbling Klingon mixed with Russian? Or because he was raised in Minsk, is there Belarusian in there as well? Or did he learn the language with the Universal Translator on so he's speaking English?

Or what about Molly, the daughter of Miles O'Brien and Keiko Ishikawa? Is she speaking English due to the Universal Translator, or some weird mix of Irish Gaelic and Japanese (specifically the Kyushu dialect of Keiko's home in Kumamoto)?

Then there's the question of idioms and nuance. How precisely is the Universal Translator translating idioms? Sure we get a few here and there where someone has to explain some Earth culture to someone because they don't know it, but why is that only with direct references and not any of the other idiomatic language we use? Troi uses "Juliet on the Balcony" as an example of an untranslatable idiom without the cultural context in the episode "Darmok", but why is that untranslatable but "break the ice" or "catch a cold" (phrases also invented by Shakespeare) translated without issue?

Then there's nuance. If you're familiar with anime, you might understand the difference between a "translation" and a "localization" as it's a fiercely debated topic in some circles. However, there's a good example if you want to understand how nuance and cultural issues enter into a translation. If you're directly translating, the two sentences "Forgive me Father for I have sinned" and "I'm sorry Daddy I've been naughty" mean the same thing. However, there is vast differences between the two in cultural context and nuance.

How does the Universal Translator handle that? Does it somehow know how to translate those meanings precisely, even to languages it doesn't know? It's my personal headcanon that Voyager had so many issues with diplomacy in the Delta Quadrant because Janeway would say "I'm Captain Kathryn Janeway of the Federation ship USS Voyager. I'm with Starfleet. We're scientists, explorers, here to study and learn." and the Universal Translator is spitting out "I am Overseer Kathryn Janeway of an empire of over 100 worlds with thousands of tributaries! I am with the Imperial Military! We are here to learn all of your secrets to increase our own power!"

Of course, the actual reason for this is Star Trek is an American production produced primarily for American audiences so the characters all speak English in a vernacular that is familiar to contemporary Americans. It's easier for writers, actors, directors, editors, and the audience if everyone just speaks English and they all understand one another. Any misunderstandings come from ways we ourselves could see misunderstandings happening because it makes for better drama that way, while rare misunderstandings of idioms are for either cultural reasons or the occasional fish out of water/culture clash joke.

So with the Universal Translator, as with lots of other sci-fi tech on Star Trek, we're back around again to the old question and answer of, "How do the Heisenberg Compensators work?" "Very well, thank you for asking."

I was wondering what your thoughts about universal translators are in Star Trek? Because that’s the explanation for them being able to understand the people on whatever random planet they come across - apart from in the instances where it’s too different and doesn’t work. But then sometimes there’s times when a character speaks in another language, let’s say Klingon, and we hear the Klingon. Is it just for narrative purposes?

Thank you!

I've dealt with this problem on and off in Trek novels. (Uhura in particular is often pitched as an expert in translator tech... which makes sense.)

But obviously this would be a wildly complex technology, one really difficult to implement in even simple modes a lot of the time... and seriously difficult to make work with new species. Explaining how it could be made to function would be a whole novel's worth of work; one I'm happy to leave to someone else right now, as I've got more than enough on my plate.

Meanwhile I find its presence a useful storytelling tool that can save the writer a lot of work. (And when it breaks down, that's often useful too. I'm pretty sure I played around with that trope in Doctor's Orders.) And certainly, you can drive a plot pretty effectively, sometimes, with a normally well-behaved technology that suddenly starts misbehaving. The words "transporter malfunction" have driven a whole lot of episodes of Trek to their logical conclusions... :)

[jacensolodjo]

First gen Russian American here….. would you have any advice on how I can help?? I know it’s useless to sit around and feel guilty. I hate the war and Putin, but I don’t want to feel like the sin-eater for all this. It feels stupid to say stuff like “I’m one of the good ones, though!”

Slava Ukraini <3

The only advice I can offer is what I offer everyone because it really is within most peoples' ability. Even if I do agonize about not being able to do more due to distance/physical ability/budgeting. It has been an almost sacred duty of the diaspora to record and redistribute information. No matter which side of the border one's family is from.

As I've said, one of the huge problems with people (read: Russians) I come into contact with (second hand or otherwise) regardless of where they live or how far removed from the Motherland they are tends to be they keep quiet. No one is going around demanding Russians give their opinion on the war at first blush, but it can be telling if we've seen people talk about everything else politics but are suspiciously silent about this. As the saying goes, remaining silent is support for the oppressor and has never once helped the oppressed.

People too often underestimate what word of mouth can do. Ukrainian diaspora newspapers and rallies and fundraising brought attention to the Holodomor and helped big time ending it before it could happen for longer than a year. Every Holocaust museum in the world emphasizes that we must know what happened then so we can know the signs so we don't repeat it. Words can stop a war just as easily as a weapon.

I won't blow smoke up your ass about how thankful people will be. And yes, I will say as nicely as possible that guilt is not the best elevator pitch nor do you want to fall into the trap of trying to apologize for your group identity or separate yourself from it as all it then does is focus more on you and your feelings rather than bringing attention to the injustice itself. All you can do is be sincere, and know you're sincere and you should exercise your freedom to record and amplify our voices, not talk over. In this situation, we're the marginalized and you, regardless of your own opinions on things or where you actually live, are part of the oppressor group. This is not a slur, nor an insult. It is simply a fact same as it is a fact that I can't be anything BUT a Ukrainian-American as these are immutable properties.

But in some cases, non-Ukr voices especially Russian can have a stronger effect than when we try to speak about it. That is the power and the flaw, a la Captain Janeway's words, of oppressor vs oppressed. Which is thus how we get to history is written by the winners. I will say that you also need to be sure to read the room and people are well within their rights to prefer to have a space that is for Ukrainians only. If they know there’s a Russian there it can get uncomfortable if not borderline-triggering as they may end up waiting for some pro-war outburst or some such thing as some do pretend to be sympathetic but then later their true colors show, as it is what has happened to numerous families who have russian branches wherein that branch of the family suddenly starts flinging propaganda in their ukr family branch’s faces. 

But yeah. Essentially: do far more listening than talking. Redistribute/Reblog/Retweet what we say (after doing the proper fact checking of course as there are some folks who may say the right thing for like the first paragraph and then just go off the fucking rails counting on people to just not have the time to read thru carefully). Use your privilege for good rather than evil or apathy. And this all goes for everyone. But yes, if you're able you should donate or at least boost info on various charities such as the fundraiser for the Ukrainian Army as well as HIAS which helps predominantly Jewish refugees but extends to non-Jews as well.

[iambic-stan]

Janeway and Kes

I write a lot of this sort of thing, and now I've written something that I don't mind sharing. So...not surprisingly, it's Star Trek and hearts. In part based on some events from the Voyager series, the rest is my brain filling in many blanks.

It's nearly midnight, and Kathryn knows she should be asleep, not gazing at the stars, wondering when she'll see Mark again, what he's doing, whether he's worried or writing her off as dead.  The view of constellations outside the ship is beautiful until, suddenly, she sees visions within them of the Caretaker's array being destroyed--heralding the horror of their indefinite stay in the Delta Quadrant.  She closes her eyes quickly to force the vision away, though she's failed to truly shake it for months.  In the morning, there will be meetings with the senior officers and bridge duty, and tonight there's a pile of padds to read through.  Despite her insomnia, though, she can't bring herself to be productive.  Her door chimes once, jolting her out of her ruminations.  "Come in," she says, rising from her couch.  Kes is on the other side of the door, looking sheepish.  Kathryn notes what must be the Ocampan's answer to pajamas--a fitted but utilitarian earth-toned top and long pants.  It's quite a contrast to her own pink satin nightgown--an article of clothing she'd likely feel embarrassed to be wearing in front of most of the other members of the crew.  "It's so late; I'm so sorry," Kes stutters meekly.  "No, it's lovely to see you, Kes.  What's on your mind?" Kathryn quickly asks, grateful for unexpected company so kind and non judgemental.  "Would you like something to drink?"

Kathryn uses the excuse of replicating Kes' pear and spinach juice to replicate more coffee for herself, though she fears that doing so negates any chance she had of sleeping well.  "Please, sit down," she says, motioning toward her couch.  "Captain...I know you want everyone to be treated equally," she begins, seemingly with some hesitation. "Of course, dear," Kathryn insists, brows furrowed.  She places the drinks on her coffee table and takes Kes' hands.  "Are you and Neelix unhappy?  What can I do?" she asks, searching the other woman's face.  "Oh, no--we're fine," Kes ensures her.  "It's the EMH."  Unthinking, Kathryn pulls back.  "Well, he is a hologram," she points out, suddenly feeling as though she's speaking to a child.  "He's a sentient being," Kes corrects, fire behind her soft eyes.  "He is talked about in third person by those he is assigned to care for!  They ask me, an inexperienced field medic, for advice on subjects about which he is the expert in the room.  He says he is accustomed to it, but his tone says he feels unhappy, unappreciated.  He is as lost as all of you in this quadrant, but he has applied his Starfleet medical knowledge and training to help people like me--people none of you had ever even seen until a year ago.  He loves to learn, and he yearns for more.  He cares for me, and I feel in him the desire to connect with others deeply, to be considered a member of this crew in every way that one can be, but everyone else has written him off cruelly."  Kathryn notices tears in the corners of Kes' eyes as she reaches the end of her impassioned appeal.  Has her view of life and cognizance been so narrow?  Had she never considered the consequences of continuously running a holographic program, until the situation necessitated his constant service?  Kes bows her head, her blonde curls cascading down her face, and Kathryn wonders if she's hiding her tears.  "Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Kes.  I'll speak with him directly, identify his needs, and instruct the crew accordingly."  She sits in awe of this younger woman who was able to perceive what she could not.  Has she been too wrapped up in her own woes, her guilt for stranding everyone out here?  Kes' face brightens, and she reaches over to hug Kathryn.  "Captain, thank you so much for being receptive to this."  Kathryn holds her for a moment, rubbing her back and breathing in her warmth. 

The two have been sitting this way for a few heartbeats when Kes asks, "What's that glittering in the other room?"  "What do you mean?" Kathryn asks, then almost immediately realizes.  She releases Kes from their embrace and walks to her bedroom.  When she returns, she's holding what looks like some kind of metal device, but one that's oddly festive.  It has what appears to be a silver headset attached to lavender colored tubing of some kind, which makes a "Y" shape which comes down to a single tube and ends with a round metal disc with a plastic cover full of bright pink and purple glitter that shines intensely despite the instrument's obvious age.  This is the first time anyone has asked Kathryn about it, but also the first time that Ensign Case has forgotten it in her quarters. She must've done it inadvertently when they were using it the other evening, before she remembered she was due to have dinner with Ensign Kim.  "This actually belongs to Ensign Case," Kathryn explains, "A centuries-old medical tool she found some years ago.  But we don't really think of it in that way, as a medical instrument.  But...it is nice."  Kes looks confused, but her interest is piqued.  "I was drawn to the sparkling piece at the end, but now I'm even more curious," she confesses.  Kathryn smiles, happy to share this, and twice as happy to have her mind off of her worries for a moment.  

"It's nothing that you would need, not unless everything went quite sideways and we had no functioning medical tricorders," she explains.  "But, it has a way of making me feel grounded, at peace, when my brain won't allow it otherwise.  It's called a stethoscope."  As a way to show instead of tell, Kathryn reaches forward with the ear tips, gently moves Kes' hair behind her shoulders, and carefully places them inside her ears, running her fingers along one of the ridges momentarily, curiously admiring ears so starkly different from her own.  Kes chuckles for a moment, then watches as Kathryn places the disc directly on her own chest, just above the collar of her gown.  The two women sit in silence for a few seconds before Kes says, wonderment in her voice, "I can hear your heart beating, really clearly, Captain.  I've never heard someone's heartbeat quite like this.  So...closely, so vividly.  And I hear your breathing alongside it.  It's so calming."  Kathryn smiles and watches the woman's face while she listens, all the while feeling vulnerable yet safer, somehow.  She reflects on the irony of feeling safe in such a precarious situation as being stranded so many light years from home.  But Kes turns out to be a fantastic listener--her eyes, the color of the sky back home in Indiana, Kathryn realizes, are staring straight ahead, calm while she listens for several minutes.  Kes removes the ear pieces and looks for a moment at the instrument, running her hands down the pale purple tubing with its specks of silver glitter.  "I feel like you let me into your world in a unique way," she says.  "Thank you.  Do you want to listen to my heart?" she asks, and Kathryn does, though she wanted Kes to offer and did not want to make assumptions.  

"Ensign Case doesn't mind?" Kes asks.  "Oh no," Kathryn assures her.  "I think she would be happy to know someone else enjoyed...what did she call it?  Cardiophilia," she recalls.  Kes nods, accepting a new English word that sounds fitting enough for the scenario.  Kathryn turns the binaurals so they're angled to fit correctly in her own ears, then reaches over to Kes' side of the couch, gently placing the shiny chest piece over her nightclothes as Kes moves to sit closer to her.  Immediately, Kathryn is surprised.  "Kes!  Your heart is racing.  It's...it's so fast," Kathryn trails off, not expecting to hear valves shutting so quickly she can't count all the beats as they come in such rapid succession.  While Kathryn is concerned, Kes just giggles.  "And yours was so slow to me, even with the coffee.  Ocampan heart rates are much faster than humans, on average.  This is just my resting heart rate," she shrugs, smiling broadly.  Taking in this new information, Kathryn's gaze falls to the floor of her quarters.  What a curiosity life is--that she would be sharing this intimacy with someone from the other side of the galaxy--someone as alien as she's ever met, and who seems quite human nonetheless, worrying about her fellow crewmate's well-being.  Her mind begins to wander, and she feels self-critical for not realizing the EMH needed her attention--she's the captain of the vessel, after all.  She shudders for a second, knowing the familiar guilt that plagues her is making its way to the front of her mind.  Almost as a deliberate, meditative act, she focuses on the racing of Kes' heart, picturing the leaflets of her valves, semilunar and atrioventricular, opening and closing in unison, but so rapidly it's dizzying.  Or is that even how Ocampan hearts are structured? she wonders.  Nevertheless, Kes' sounds quite human.  Slowly but surely, her mind lets go of her anxieties, and she hears only the Ocampan's steady heartbeat.  After several minutes, she removes the stethoscope, softly telling Kes, "Thank you."  All at once, it seems, the feeling rushes at her and she realizes, I can sleep.  As though reading her mind, Kes rises from the couch and says, "That was lovely, Captain, and thank you again for hearing me out about the EMH.  I know he will appreciate your efforts.  I'm going to get some rest," she says, taking her leave.  "You're very welcome, dear," Kathryn tells her, and when she turns off her lamp and climbs into bed, she falls immediately into a deep sleep, one devoid of anxious dreams and nightmares that often threaten her peace.

[suganovakawa]

𝐒𝐀𝐔𝐃𝐀𝐃𝐄 .

PAIRINGS : tooru oikawa x fem! reader , slight hajime iwaizumi x fem! reader

GENRE : angst , romance

WARNINGS : cursing , car accident , recovery from amnesia

SYNOPSIS : tooru doesn’t understand how special you are to him until he comes close to losing you forever . as he struggles to comes to grips with his feelings and balance it with his future , you still have to recover from your own injuries , but without your memories to assist you .

𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐗𝐈𝐕 < [ 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐗𝐕 ] > 𝐏𝐀𝐑𝐓 𝐗𝐕𝐈

now, this is tooru’s business.

word count : 1.3k

saudade masterlist .

SAUDADE

( 𝐧 . ) a nostalgic longing to be near again to something or someone that is distant , or that has been loved and then lost ; “ the love that remains ”

⠀the last people tooru expected to ever hear from again, besides you, were any of his third year teammates. maybe his underclassmen had it in them to forgive him eventually, but not issei and takahiro. they had all the right reason to not forgive him for his actions. they, just like hajime, had doted on you quite often during the season. while they weren't obsessive over it, they both visibly appreciated your presence.

⠀way more than he did at the time, anyway.

⠀he was almost scared as the two of them approached him during lunch. oikawa stopped showing up to the cafeteria and began enjoying his lunches in silence at the library, as many social outcasts choose to do. he didn't think that their motive for going to the library was to see him of all people, but his mind began to race as they began walking towards him at a surprisingly quick pace - their faces were anything but pleasant.

⠀"makki? mattsun?" tooru's body initiated his fight or flight instincts as both of them stood at his sides, making it impossible for him to just stand up and leave. "what are you doing here? i didn't do anything, did i?" he really hoped he didn't make another mistake. the last thing he wanted was to be remembered for nothing more than his shortcomings as a boyfriend.

⠀"no, not this time." mattsun replied in a hushed whisper, shaking his head. "but there's something going on that no one on the team likes. we don't know if you already know or not, but given your past with y/n, we figured you'd be interested."

⠀he hesitated at the mention of your name. of course he was interested in anything that had to do with you. what could possibly be going on with you that would be so important for him of all people to know about? the other two third years were uncharacteristically serious for their usual joking demeanors, but he was too nervous to say anything more.

⠀oikawa was additionally surprised to watch both them take a seat on both sides of him, leaning in closer to ensure only he was able to hear what they were saying. tooru leaned back slightly, his stomach running in circles with the suspicious activity going on. were they going to prank him? go through all this just to call him a loser? if so, he didn't want to be part of it. he had already messed up with you again, that was all the confirmation he needed that he was just a downright idiot. damn him and his stupid bad habits. if only he knew how to control his temper, this wouldn't have happened in the first place.

⠀"do you want the news just thrown in your face, or do you want us to discreetly tell you?" makki crossed his arms and leaned over the table, throwing the seijoh captain out of his deep thought. "doesn't really matter, bad news is bad news. we're probably going to ruin your day with this."

⠀really, what could be worse than this? "just tell me," was all he could muster.

⠀"iwaizumi and y/n are dating."

⠀what?

⠀tooru almost fell out of his seat as the blood rushed throughout his body like a tidal wave, both anger and astonishment crashing together furiously. he almost screamed but bit down on his tongue due to their current location. both makki and mattsun noticed the sudden shift in oikawa's behavior, and nodded their heads as if to agree with his reaction.

⠀"yahaba told me today. kindaichi apparently made small talk with iwaizumi, where the big news was revealed." mattsun continued without letting either brunet peer reply, "and frankly, it's very strange. all of it. but i'm pretty sure the only ones who have been suspicious of the relationship are us."

⠀oikawa was livid. whatever control he had over his temper, had been thrown long gone by now. his face glowed with an underlying red hue, his hands clenched into white-knuckled fists as he rest them on the table. he wasn't mad at you - he was mad at iwaizumi. hajime. he did something to manipulate you into a relationship. he did something to you to result in this outcome.

⠀and this was all oikawa’s fault.

⠀"this is bullshit," he seethed, shaking his head in an incredulous matter. "there's no way this was mutual. it can't be." curiously, he turned to the other two with furrowed eyebrows, his eyes narrowed in their direction. "why aren't you happy about their relationship? isn't this what all of you wanted ever since i..." hurt her? his voice got caught in his throat before he could finish.

⠀"don't get us wrong. you're still a complete asshole for how you treated y/n in the past. nothing will change that." it was like a hammer hit straight into oikawa's chest. "however... it's more complicated with iwaizumi. more complicated than what we would like it to be."

⠀realistically, it shouldn't be complicated at all. oikawa knew that. he was never the nicest to you, but he truly had no ill intentions when it came to your well being. now that he was stripped of whatever pride and dignity he had during the volleyball season, he realized that even though he had no ill intention, it still hurt you. that's what hurt tooru the most.

⠀"...complicated?"

⠀"i'm sure you've heard that iwaizumi has refused to tell y/n of her... past. and she doesn't remember anything either, which works to his advantage." makki began listing down points with his finger. "she asked us, she asked the team, she's asked iwaizumi way more times that i can count with both hands and toes. hell, i'm pretty sure she's asked you, too."

⠀you have, but tooru had his own reasons for hesitating.

⠀"she's been pretty stubborn about what she wants, and actually pretty pissed that no one refuses to tell her anything. then all of a sudden she comes back to seijoh with iwaizumi after a normal weekend, hand-in-hand and happy as can be." makki shook his head at the thought of it. "something doesn't add up. maybe it's not our business to butt in, but that's what's been going on."

⠀"what do you want me to do about it?" the lonely third year leaned back against his seat once more, more frustrated than anything. "i thought all of you didn't want me near y/n anymore. now you're telling me this, and for what?"

⠀"truth be told oikawa, this was just an impulse decision on both our parts." mattsun sighed and stood up, stretching his legs a bit. makki followed suit. "even though it's suspicious, it's really not our business. everyone else seems to be content with it, especially with what y/n's been going through. it's almost meant to be at this point."

⠀ouch, another strike to the heart. "but," the rose-haired peer interjected, "even though it's not our business, it most certainly is yours, isn't it? after all, you still haven't been able to officially break up with her yet, huh? and don't you have bad blood with iwaizumi now?" he shoved his hands in his pockets, tilting his head to the side.

⠀just how much did these two know? "no," oikawa mumbled quietly, "i haven't been able to."

⠀"anyways, the bell's gonna ring soon. you're in the loophole now, so you decide what to do with the information." mattsun walked up to tooru and grabbed him by the blazer, pulling the captain up to his feet before whispering quietly, "and if you have any sense of redemption left in you, it would probably be in your best interest to see what the hell is going on with hajime iwaizumi. maybe you'll get a sense of closure in the process."

⠀tooru could only nod in retaliation to this sudden confrontation, and mattsun gently let go of his blazer before giving him a quick nod. as quickly as the two of them arrived, they had already disappeared into the hallways by the time the bell rang.

⠀the frustration followed him like a raincloud for the rest of the day.

⠀y/n, what has hajime iwaizumi done to you?

a/n : i got nothin’ to say for ya today, so enjoy!

taglist ( closed ) — @ot127 @rena0921 @karlitabi-rrito @psychicpercyjacksonfan @crescentbitch @amelimiles @damnirina @pasta-warlord @blossomingbangtan @clinomanians @i-am-kinda-in-alot-of-fandoms @manq-fandoms @cirtruss @sugar-wara @haikoo @anime-simp @kairostatue @awkwardspontaneity @iwantapoptartqwq @aquariarose @softestdreamer @plantisnotplant @avylee @froppysgirl @that-animebitch @wisepandaslimeland @samanthaa-leanne @dumplingzumispam @0hakaashi @captain-janeway @afterglowkuroo @bellabelieveme @attixca @chickenrest @tycrackculture @ynjimenez @karaseijoh @lavieenblancetnoir @dabilove27 @cuddlesslut @crypto-s @keigosbitch @readeretal @shittykawaa @donghyuckster @adriloen @ella-solei @emiyummy @kukiisan @catyuyuyuu @sillykittt @dolan-mendes @kiritokunuwu @the-third-wall @yammers @todohawki

+ continued in the comments!

[romssidewaystooth]

Characters who would fuck a hologram

(I'm thinking more akin to a Riker-Minuet situation, not so much a sentient hologram like the EMH.)

TOS crew:

Kirk: yes, no reservations, falls in love with it after

Spock: not interested

McCoy: suspicious of the technology but changes his mind once there's a pretty lady in front of him

Scotty: you bet

Uhura: prefers a real person, but isn't against an occasional indulgence

Sulu: didn't even consider it because he was having too much fun swordfighting

Chekov: idk he's a baby

TNG crew:

Picard: thinks he's too classy

Riker: obviously

Troi: considers it a healthy form of masturbation (in moderation)

Geordi: tries but is too nervous to go through with it

Data: tried it once the same way he tries many other common human pastimes, was underwhelmed

Worf: no

Beverly: after candle ghosts, holograms feel a little vanilla

DS9 crew:

Sisko: is actually too classy

Kira: makes her feel too weird

Bashir: yes, no reservations

O'Brien: no, too married

Jadzia: of course

Quark: would, but doesn't because he makes more money by having other people pay him to do it

Odo: not really interested, and he certainly wouldn't do it at Quark's

Ezri: can't decide what she wants and ends up leaving early

Voyager crew:

Janeway: literally did

Chakotay: after some initial hesitation, decides it's ok, but just ok

Tuvok: we're not allowed to talk about it

B'Elanna: yes, no problem

Harry: refused at first, eventually came around to it

Tom: yes in theory, but most of the time he's too busy tinkering with the program to make it perfect

EMH: obviously

Neelix: I'm not even gonna go there, he's not allowed

Seven: feels that it's not worth her time