#of course you can express your negative opinion on things

[merigoldaround]

Seeing the negativity this morning kind of gets to me (it's a me problem, I'm working on it) and I have thoughts.

People's negativity bias is showing, I'd like to tell them that no, a negative opinion isn't automatically right and objective (gosh people there's no such thing as objective opinion) and no, the people who like the song aren't lying, they understand the artistry and see the whole thing instead of just the surface and maybe we actually like the song despite the "repetetive chorus" and "excessive autotune". And the thing is, this is Jimin in the beginning of his solo career, yes he can be a bit of a rough diamond who's yet to polish himself into his full potential, yes the song requires you to have to listen to something that isn't as smooth or sanitized as what you might be used to from other kpop productions.

It just shows what people are used to, what they expect to hear (from kpop and from Jimin) and when that doesn't happen... Change can be difficult to take in, especially if you're a casual listener who doesn't even know the journey Jimin has been on or if you don't stop and digest what Jimin wants to convey. Taste is subjective, you don't have to like the song of course, but don't think it's the only right opinion.

Art makes you think. The best art can be controversial. That's what people remember.

[uyuforu]

Romance Numbers in Destiny of Matrix

Hi people! So I have been discovering Destiny of Matrix for some days and I LOVE this technique. And of course, anytime I discover some thing, I love to check with the people I know to see how accurate it is. Moreover, I feel like it hasn't been talked much on Tumblr? Like there are posts but not enough in my opinion. I wanted to try to give my interpretation as I have made some researches based on people I know. So this post is totally my own interpretation! Though, I hope this can give some insights, and some good tools too.

All pictures were found on Pinterest

Other posts you could like:

જ⁀➴ How to know when you will get married?

જ⁀➴ How to know where your Future Spouse was born?

જ⁀➴ Derivative Astrology: our Future Spouse in our Natal Chart

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What is Destiny Matrix?

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Destiny Matrix is an Esoteric tool that explores the 22 Arcana's of the Tarot to see a different approach of yourself and your life, as a Chart, similar to Astrology. It's a tool that also enable you to develop your full potential as an individual. Numbers and Chakras are used instead of signs, houses and degrees.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Calculate your Destiny Matrix Chart here.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Numbers on the Chart will go from 1 to 22, representing each Tarot's 22 Major Arcanas.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Colored Numbers are your main energies, they are also great tools to understand your true potential and why you came into this life, but also past life, desires, and your soul's purpose. Though this isn't the theme in this post.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Some more ressources on Tumblr here!

How do you use Destiny Matrix?

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ In this post, we will talk about the romance and love part of your life. And mostly numbers. On each sides of the chart, you'll see your different ages, representing different eras of your life. And above those different ages, you'll see a number, between 1 to 22.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ As you may have guessed it, those numbers will express the energy of what is happening in your life in those eras. It doesn't only mean one thing, it's a global energy. So this energy can be taken in romance, career, etc.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ It's more about energies and main events. It's a life forecast.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Now, each numbers above your different ages represent a Tarot Major Arcana, to know more, here is the Wikipedia page.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Of course, each Arcana have also their own energies and meanings, and the way I interpret cards have always been taking both positive and negative energies. In this tool, I think it's important to take both.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ I have so studied this technique with my personal knowledge and thought of doing an observation post about it, please read this before continuing:

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Please know this post is based on my personal researches. I practice Tarot too and I have some knowledge on the cards, but I am still new at Destiny of Matrix. My main goal in this post is to give more insights and my own point of view on the matter. I of course use relatives and individuals I knows to support all theories here. This is truly an observation post. Please take it lightly!

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Also please use your intuition, I bet you'll not have children at 5 years old, so even if you see a number that can indicate pregnancy, think twice that it might not happen when you are too young. Use your own discernment, and take it in an open-minded way! Those are possible indicators only!

Meeting your Future Spouse Numbers

1: The Magician

The first Major Arcana can be an indicator of meeting your Future spouse. This card is the very first card, which usually represents new beginnings, something new coming to your life. It also indicates lovestruck, beginning of a relationship, and building a story with someone. In this case, this can be taken as a something new starting, and def something major in your life.

5: The Hierophant

The Hierophant, also called The Pope, is the 5th card and is an indicator of meeting your FS. This card is considered linked to marriage, as the man on the card usually seal a union between two individuals. Usually this card represent a union that can go far, meaning to marriage. So this can also be an indicator of meeting someone you'll marry in the future. It seems like this number happened with people when they realized who they will marry.

6: The Lovers

The Lovers is the 6th card and it's also an indicator of meeting your FS! It's a quite strong indicator in my opinion, since this card is a divine union card, so soulmates for example are often represented with this card. You could meet a destined lover with this number, or just fall in love too.

10: The Wheel of Fortune

The 10th card usually represents major change in our life, so if you have a 10 number, this can be a year when you'll meet someone who will deeply change your life. This can be a year when you'll meet your FS, things will change!

14: Temperance

This number can also indicate meeting your FS, as this card is also a Soulmate card. Just as the Lovers card, you could meet a divine partner this year but also someone who you'll love deeply. It can also be a soulmate, but this can def be an indicator of meeting the person you'll marry.

16: The Tower

The Tower is also called "The House of God" in the French Version, and it can then represent something fated by a higher force. The number 16 can be a time when you'll meet someone who was "sent" to you, someone who is destined to meet you, and they could perhaps be your FS. It usually also represents a happy union.

17: The Star

The Star is the 17th card of the Tarot for Major Arcana, and it is a sign of hope, happiness and optimism. This number can also be an indicator of meeting someone who will bring you great joy. This is an indicator of having a protected Union, being a couple that will last a long time but also a couple who will having high chances to have children together. Fertility is a keyword for this card.

18: The Moon

So, at first I wasn't going to include this number but two of my family members got it the year they met their FS. So it caught my interest. This card can indicate meeting someone you'll want children with. And it is also a sign of fertility. This number can then be an indicator of meeting your FS since it also talks about meeting someone you'll feel at home and comfortable with, and perhaps meeting someone who is a soulmate too. I have also noticed a pattern with this number: both my relative who got this number met their FS while being in a relationship! Perhaps this can be an indicator...

19: The Sun

AH the Sun! The happy card! The Sun to me makes it obvious we need to add the number 19. This number will bring great happiness and joy into your life, so this can be a year you can meet your FS since they will usually (I wish you that at least), great happiness. This card represents union, a couple that is a great fit for one another, but also a couple that is very tender and wish to build a future together. But it also represents universal and unconditional love!

20: Judgment

The number 20 can be another indicator of meeting your FS. That number is about meeting a person who will be a major meeting in our life. It's also about love at first sight. But also about our destiny. So we could be meeting someone who was meant for us.

22: The Fool

This is the last card in the Major arcana, and it usually represents a meeting a new person in a very unexpected way. But it also represents honeymoon, and meeting a passionate lover. While this can be surprising for others, I think it's important to remember this card represents endings leading to new beginnings. So yes, this can also be an indicator.

Examples

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My mom was a 10 when she met my dad.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My dad only married my step mother, and he had number 10 the year he met her.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ The year I met my FS online I was a 6.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ And the year we met in real life I was a 16!

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Both my grandma and my aunt were a 18 when they met their FS, yet both met them at a time they were already in a relationship!

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandfather was a 20 when he met my grandma.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My other grandma was also a 10 when she met my other grandfather.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My FS was a 16 when we first met and 5 when we met in real life.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ One of my best friend was a 5 the first time she met her FS.

Getting Engaged / Marriage Numbers

2: The Popess

5: The Hierophant

6: The Lovers

7: The Chariot

This card is about moving, and things moving fast, forward. An engagement or a wedding is a new step in a relationship, so this card can be an indicator.

8: The Justice

Marriage contract

10: The Wheel of Fortune

16: The Tower

19: The Sun

20: The Judgment

21: The World

22: The Fool

A new era of your life, something totally new coming.

Examples

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ When my dad and step mother married, she was a 21 and my dad was a 20.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandma was an 8 when she got married for the second time.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandfather was a 22 when he got married the second time.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My other grandmother was a 21 when she got married too.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My aunt was a 5 when she got married.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ If I follow my predictions, I will be an 8 or 16 when I'll get married.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My mother has indicators of getting married soon and she will be a 7 soon LOL.

Pregnancies/ Having Children Numbers

2: The Popess

The Popess represents the oldest woman, the woman who has knowledges and experiences, so it can also represents a nurse, or women who help during the pregnancies. And it is also a sign, as the card itself, of pregnancies. It is governed by the Moon. It represents the desire to have children, and also to be pregnant. It is also a sign of maternal wisdom or nurturing.

3: The Empress (for women specifically)

The Empress represents the woman, and it is a major number to have for years to be pregnant. I would say that it represents being pregnant best, and more if you are a woman actually. This card is represented by Venus, and it is a huge indicators of being pregnant, being fertile, and having children. Pregnancy is a huge theme on this card. The Empress represents the mother in Tarot.

4: The Emperor (for men specifically)

As the Empress represents the mother, the Emperor represents the father! So if you are a man, this can be an indicator of becoming a father a certain year.

6: The Lovers

It wasn't an indicator to me at first but I saw two of my family members being a 6 during pregnancies or when they had a child, so I have decided to mark it. I guess since the Lovers represents being two, and when a woman is pregnant, she is two (her + the child), it can be an indicator. Both of those family members had this indicator with their first children!

10: The Wheel of Fortune

The Wheel of Fortune isn't necessarily a pregnancy indicator in Tarot, at least not specifically. But, this card represents big change or transformation in one's life. So it's obvious it can mean something is changing. This can so indicate pregnancies, and if you are a woman, this can even indicate something is changing in your body!

13: Death

While Death represents change and transformation, it can also apply in this case in my opinion. It means new beginnings, it's a card that indicates deep change, so even physically and mentally. So this can mean deep change and transformation in your body, but also in your life, as having children brings total new beginnings.

16: The Tower

This card brings happy news and it's a card about fertility, and also men's fertility. It represents pregnancies in some cases as it brings happy news specially to the home.

17: The Stars

This card represents women, fertility, feeling harmonious, and wishes for pregnancies. It represents possible birth and children.

18: The Moon

This is a feminine card too! A card ruled by Cancer, and a big indicator for pregnancies and children. In Tarot, this totally represents being pregnant. It also represents the desire to be pregnant, and the action to fall pregnant (so s3x, but def in order to be pregnant).

19: The Sun

So, there are two reasons as to why I think this can be an indicator. First, this card represents happy news, and so this is obvious (generally) a pregnancy is a happy new. But this card is also ruled by the Sun & Leo, and it so is the card of children.

21: The World

The World is a card that can also represents pregnancies. First, it's a card that has more feminine and women energies. This card represent the end of a project, and it can be the outcome of a couple project (what do couples do together... iykyk), it also represents a perfect project.

Examples

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My mother had number 3 when she had me.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ When my step-mother was pregnant with my sister, she was a 18.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My aunt was a 10 during her first pregnancy.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ The next years she is a 13 and then 16, I am pretty sure she will fall pregnant again (I have astro indicator of having a new cousin this year).

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My dad was a 18 when my mom was pregnant, and a 10 when I was born.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ He was a 10 again when my brother was born.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandma was a 21 when she was pregnant with her first child.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ Funny thing, my grandma was a 4 when she had my mother, but the story was that my grand father reallyyyy wanted a child that year.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My other grandma was a 21 when she had my aunt.

FS being a Foreigner Numbers

For this part, we will focus on the numbers near the hearts, and actually those three (see pictures). Those numbers are indicators and a way to describe your FS. In those numbers, you can see if your FS can be a foreigner. Here are some numbers can indicate such thing.

7: The Chariot

The Chariot is a card that represents the act of moving, and it can also indicate traveling. Despite it's not necessarily a card that means this, it is still connected to the world, since the Chariot goes and doesn't stop. It can go anywhere, so this can be an indicator of having a foreign spouse.

14: Temperance

Temperance is a card that is related to holidays and traveling for vacations, so this card can also be linked to the foreign world. This card also reminded me of the foreign land, foreign people and people who are open-minded. After all, Aquarius rule over this card, so it makes sense.

19: The Sun

This can be surprising, yet I don't think it's a major indicator, but it can still be. Actually, the Sun as a card represent countries that are hot, and places where we can go on vacations, so this is again linked to foreign lands and foreigners.

21: The World

This one is obvious, the World literally represents what it is meant to. This is the biggest indicator to me.

22: The Fool

The last card of the Tarot to me is an indicator of having a foreign spouse as well, and I would say in my opinion, 2nd biggest. This card is ruled by Uranus, so Aquarius too. This card represents the travelers, people who go and just want to discover, curiosity, it represents "everywhere".

Not a lot of people around me married foreigners for now, I don't have much examples, except my FS is a foreigner and I have a 22 number lol. But this is just my guesses since those are cards that are linked to foreign lands.

Being Single / Breaking Up / Divorce Numbers

1: The Magician

New beginnings, starting a new project, cheating, being cheated on etc.

7: The Chariot

Moving on, moving to someone/ something else/ searching for something else.

8: The Justice

Breaking a contract, divorce.

9: The Hermit

Wanting to be alone, being left alone, someone breaking up with us, breaking up and staying single, being single.

10: The Wheel of Fortune

Change, suddenly breaking up, changing partner, passing from one partner to the other, etc.

12: The Hanged Man

Stop of a relationship, breaking up, divorce, the end of a relationship, leaving a partner.

13: Death

End of a relationship, divorce, separation, break up, being heart broken.

14: Temperance

End of a relationship, breaking up, could be a break up in good term, but also a break up because of miscommunication, couple not being made for each other.

15: The Devil

Cheating, being cheated on, doing terrible things against your partner, or your partner being terrible things to you, divorce, break up, leaving your partner for someone else, your partner leaving you for someone else, having bad intentions.

16: The Tower

Break up, divorce, separation, fights, arguments, cheating, being cheated on, breaking up on bad terms.

21: The World

Being rejected by your partner, being cheated on, partner breaking up with you, couple failing, couple not being made for each other, divorce, break up, cheating, wanting adventures.

22: The Fool

End of a relationship, stepping away from a partner, wanting to be single, being single, wanting to go on adventures, cheating, being cheated on, a partner leaving us, sudden endings.

Examples

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ When my mom and dad divorced, my mom was a 13. My dad was a 10.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My step mother was a 12 when she and my dad divorced.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ I was a 16 when I had a big break up with one of my ex who cheated on me (and then made me believe it was my fault lmao).

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My aunt left her partner to be with her current husband the year she was a 10.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My dad was a 12 the year he got divorced from my step mother.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grand father was a 12 when he left his first wife.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grand mother was a 10 when she left her first husband for my grand father.

⋆.˚₊˚⊹ ᰔ My grandmother was a 8 when she got divorced from my grandfather.

Thank you for reading!

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[heartlilith]

Difficult Placements in the Natal Chart

*Difficult: defined as "not easy; needing effort or skill to do or to understand" 

I'm going to be discussing what placements I believe are more difficult to have in a natal chart. I just want to emphasize that this is my opinion (Tamra Judge voice) . Let's remember that all placements have their pros and cons, you are not defined by a few unfavorable placements. Of course, aspects and orbs matter... Chiron with 3 squares to your personal planets will be more difficult to handle than if you had Chiron trine Sun and Venus, for example.

One last thing: Difficult placements can be the ones with the most value. They teach you things, make you stronger, and they can make you an inspiration to people dealing with similar situations. Difficult placements have their positives too, which we will discuss.

🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿

Sun conjunct Chiron: These natives go through a lot of pain, physically and emotionally. They go through many trials and have to learn how to heal again and again. I feel like the universe puts them through a lot so that one day they can help others, which is nice but damn. This aspect can easily make someone slip into addiction, depression, and bitterness if the energy isn't channeled correctly. These people are prone to psychic attacks that lead to chronic illness, specifically migraines.

Positives: Can become a healer, can help other people through their problems, can become an inspiration, selfless character.

Sun square/opposite Neptune: These natives struggle when it comes to their fragile ego. They are deeply sensitive and feel things intensely. They absorb energies meaning if they're around negative people, they themselves will become negative as well. It's so important for these people to be surrounded by positive and successful individuals. Sun square/opposite Neptune is also easily manipulated and taken advantage of since they tend to see the world through rose-colored glasses. Throughout life, this placement can make an individual feel unworthy and inferior which can lead to a victim mentality that's hard to break. Watch out for escapist behavior because these people are prone to addiction.

Positives: These people are very psychic and should work on their spiritual abilities. Becoming religious or spiritual can be very beneficial for them. They have the most impressive imagination and are super creative.

Capricorn Moon: I've noticed that people with Capricorn as their moon sign have difficulties with being vulnerable and asking for help. They are the people that hold their family and friends together - they are the strong one. Oftentimes, they become responsible too early in life, which probably cut their childhood short if they had one at all. Their sense of responsibility is their strength but its also a weakness; they don't want to be thought of as "weak" or "needy" so they hold their feelings in. Like Pisces, when their emotions come on strong they need an escape, Capricorns rely on work and their sense of duty. They are prone to becoming workaholics and will ignore painful situations by working all the time.

Positives: Likely to become successful career-wise, very driven and ambitious, people trust them, they make great friends because you can rely on these people.

Aquarius Moon: Similar to Capricorn, Aquarius Moons struggle with their emotions and how to express them. Their emotions might not even be felt in some cases. They look at things intellectually and in a detached way; they think "Should I be sad about this?" or "Am I supposed to be angry?". Growing up, they probably didn't have someone that they could emotionally confide in or even worse, they could've been punished for showing their emotions. I've noticed a lot of Aquarius Moons have a detached sense of family, they could've been adopted or they just feel "different", they could even look at themselves as the black sheep.

Positives: Can come up with creative solutions to problems, a great friend, nonjudgemental and open minded when it comes to others and their life experiences.

Moon square Pluto: This placement could've been the victim of abuse, especially from their mother. Their mothers could have struggled with mental illness and unfortunately these natives could've been the scapegoat and received the backend. Their mothers could be careless one second and the next they could become obsessive; the obsessiveness usually shows when the native leaves home and creates space between them. This leads to distrust in people, women especially. Moon square Pluto people cling onto any sense of control because they grew up in utter chaos. Unfortunately, these people can deem self destructiveness as "normal" since it was what they knew throughout their whole childhood.

Positives: If these people conquer the negative traits brought on by this aspect, they could become great psychiatrists or therapists. These people are devoted and loyal.

Moon square Saturn: This placement could've struggled with feeling unsafe in childhood; like they couldn't count on their parents. Their mothers were less affectionate than normal and they didn't receive the comfort that they needed, which leads them to being uncomfortable with affection in adulthood. They probably went through some tough changes in childhood which is why they loathe change as an adult. This placement could've felt like they had to parent their parent, specifically their mother. And their mothers could've vented to them about problems that they had no business hearing, cutting their childhood short. Their mothers could go to them for advice a lot of times. They could've felt like a burden growing up, usually an emotional burden but more likely a financial burden.

Positives: Strives to become successful, these people are independent and self sufficient.

Virgo Venus: Virgo Venus isn't too bad but can make a native struggle with self esteem issues. I put this on my list because these people attract lovers that need fixing. Venus in Virgo love to fix people and make them "better". The people they're trying to fix could be toxic and destructive; the "bad boys/girls". But having their partner in focus and ignoring their own needs makes them resentful after awhile. I've noticed this placement attracts creeps and stalkers as well because they have a vibe of innocence and purity. In love, they can grow to be very demanding and make their partners feel inadequate in the process. They also get the ick quite easily, meaning its easy to turn them off.

Positives: Is reliable in love, a lady in the streets freak in the sheets type, definitely someone you want to bring home to your family, will take care of you.

Venus in the 8th house: Venus in the 8th house natives tend to be possessive and jealous in love. It's not that they view their partners as property (they can but this placement alone doesn't indicate that imo), they are just extremely loyal and expect their partner to be as well. From my experience, Venus in the 8th house people are ready to give it all up for someone they love. They want to merge and become one with their partner. Their intensity comes from a good place but once a relationships ends, it can be very very painful for them. Love and relationships trigger transformations for these people and sometimes triggers transformations in their partners. They come out of relationships a stronger and better version of themselves but this is usually achieved through heartache. This placement also has a real fear of abandonment and will stay in toxic relationships for this reason.

Positives: Loyal and devoted in love, is a ride or die person. They are very alluring and magnetic. Not easily forgotten.

Venus in the 12th house: I believe these natives are too good for the world. I say this because, like 8th house Venus, they are ready to give it all up for love. Venus in the 12th house is self sacrificial to a fault, oftentimes neglecting themselves in relationships. Love can bring subconscious pain to the forefront, attracting lovers that make them face hidden problems they hold within themselves. Venus being in the house of the hidden, it's not uncommon for these individuals to be the "other woman/man" or be in secret relationships for whatever reason. They can be easily manipulated and taken advantage of since they're hopeless romantics. This can lead to them having to regulate how much love they have for someone; they'll hold back their feelings and needs in fear of being naive and walked on.

Positives: They love people genuinely and whole heartedly, they see the best in their partners, they form deep connections in love.

Venus square/opposite Saturn: These natives may have grown up in an environment that lacked physical affection. This creates a person that is uncomfortable in love and becomes very regulated with how they express their emotions. They may be inherently insecure when they're young which creates doubt around being loved; they're prone to thoughts like "why would anyone love me?" which then creates trust issues. These people also struggle with self-love, they have feelings of inadequacy and compare themselves to others a lot. Since they have low self esteem, they often attract partners that treat them badly and the worst part is they think they deserve it. These people aren't fans of PDA or physical touch and often express love through gift giving or acts of service.

Positives: Self sufficient, usually has a "glow up" later in life, once this placement is conquered (could be the second half of life) they are unstoppable and have so much love for themselves.

Mars in 4th, 8th, 12th house: Mars doesn't feel very comfortable in water houses, this is especially true if the native has a lot of squares and oppositions to their Mars or water house lord. Mars ignites the emotional watery nature of the houses which can lead to sudden outbursts. Mars in the 4th house natives could have dealt with a prominent mother who dominated the household (4th house). This could indicate that a father figure was absent or estranged. Either that, or his role was weak compared to the mothers. Mars in the 4th house could also signify an aggressive mother and hostile home environment. Mars in the 8th house natives experience extreme emotions a lot of the time, this can include anger, obsession, and jealousy. Since Mars is in the 8th house of transformations, you can expect these people to go through many many painful changes in their life because Mars here speeds things up. These natives are prone to accidents involving vehicles, tools, gym equipment, etc. so watch out for transits! Mars in the 12th house could suppress their martian traits; sexuality, motivation and anger... or it could be the opposite, they could become addicted to sex and have a wicked temper, depending on the sign and aspects. Trauma related to sexuality and the inability to stick up for oneself could be prevalent here as well, or they could be downright violent towards others. These people can either lack motivation or become extremely restless. They also probably have crazy vivid dreams and aggressive hidden enemies.

Side Note: Mars in water houses can either be horrible or not so bad, it really depends on the rest of the chart. I included this because the negatives can be extreme.

Mars square/opposite Pluto: These natives usually had a childhood filled with violence and witnessed a lot of strong emotional outbursts. This makes the native think that reacting aggressively or even violently is normal. They could've been abused by their peers, siblings or parents. As they grow up, physical violence, fights, and anger issues could arise. They can get offended really easily and people just assume they're picking fights. Has a lot of physical energy that can manifest as aggression.

Positives: If they channel their energy correctly, they could become talented athletes. Has enough energy to meet their goals and then some.

Saturn in the 1st house: These people have had it hard since childhood. These natives struggle to be comfortable within themselves due to being surrounded by critical people and even being bullied growing up. The judgmental voices they grew up listening to becomes the voice within. They could struggle with body dysmorphia and have deep rooted insecurities. They are confused within themselves and their insecurity could make them miss a lot of great opportunities.

Positives: These people often have a deep sense of responsibility and can be very successful in their career, depending on the rest of the chart.

Saturn in the 7th house: Saturn, the planet of restriction and blockages, sitting on the 7th house of partnerships can make a native go through a lot of trial and error when it comes to one on one relationships. These people could be shy and fear intimacy due to their self esteem especially when they're young. Since Saturn is very karmic in nature, these people could attract toxic relationships or partners that don't fit well with them in order to learn necessary lessons. These people should be careful of going into business with people and also should be careful of divorce settlements (sign that prenup!)

Positives: After Saturn return, these natives will finally meet an adequate partner and since the universe put them through trial and error, they'll be ready for it. Has meaningful life long friendships.

Chiron opposite ASC/Chiron in the 7th house: These peoples' lessons come in the form of lovers. Betrayal, deceit, heartbreak, and infidelity can make their way into these natives lives. It doesn't have to be those themes although it can be. Depending on the sign of your 7th house, those are the themes that'll teach you the lessons and open up old wounds. For example: Leo in the 7th house (Aquarius rising) you may attract and deal with partners who, worst case scenario, are selfish, egotistical, and want everything to revolve around them. This could trigger your childhood in which your parents fought with each other and forgot about you in the process. Another example is Aries descendent (Libra rising) you may deal with partners who are aggressive, dominating, and maybe even violent. This could trigger old wounds from childhood: maybe you lived in a home where domestic violence was prevalent. You get the idea.

Positives: You're not doomed in love by the way, it's just 7th house signs and their themes that will show up throughout your life. The examples I used were pretty extreme to get the point across. The positive here is that most of the time, the themes are much more discreet. For the 7th house Chiron in Leo example I used, it could be that your partner is self centered and you recognize and treat this. Could be an easy lesson learned (well it better be because if not it's gonna keep showing up).

Chiron in the 11th house: Chiron in the 11th house is a placement I personally have using Placidus. These natives never feel like they fit in, they feel like they're looked at as the outcast, like they don't belong. This is usually the consequences of being bullied as a child and made to feel less than. These people could go through a hard time in life where they have no friends and feel like they have no one to turn to. Loneliness could be a prominent theme in their lives especially when they're young. Chiron in the 11th house would rather have one on one connections than be part of a friend group.

Positives: Could be an advocate for people sharing similar experiences, knows how to be a good friend, values friendships and knows how to be alone.

Chiron conjunct Pluto: I have this one! I've noticed that certain painful experiences; death, heartache, betrayal, rejection affect me SO much. Growing up my mom would just brush these things off and say that they're a part of life. But to me, these things would happen and I would grow to fear them immensely. For example; my grandmother who I was super close to passed away when I was 17 and ever since then I've been terrified of my parents dying. Painful experiences really change people with this aspect, for better or for worse.

Positives: These people are forced to confront their deepest fears which in turn makes them stronger. They have the power to transform themselves after traumatic events.

Lilith in the 1st house: Lilith is the exact opposite of what "women should be" which rubs people, men specifically, the wrong way. It also rubs older generations the wrong way or whoever believes in traditional gender roles. Here in the 1st house, these natives embody Lilith which, you guessed it, rubs people the wrong way. They usually have trauma related to males trying to put them down or put them in their place, even as a child. Growing up, adult women could talk about them negatively as well. Everywhere they go, there's people that look at them sideways; they're either disgusted or intrigued. They often experience people hating them for "no reason". The real reason for this reaction is because they make people feel threatened just by being. They were also sexualized from a young age and could've had older people, mostly men, commenting on their bodies.

Positives: Extremely magnetic and alluring, blessed with beauty, intense aura and presence, always gets what they want.

Lilith in the 10th house: Similar to Lilith in the 1st house, these natives have a tendency to set people off just by being themselves. This creates a lot of disturbance in the workplace; people either love them or hate them but either way their reaction to them is extreme. Male authority can either sexualize them or belittle them making the workplace uncomfortable. Lilith being Lilith here, they may use this power to their advantage and climb the ranks so to speak. Rumors about them swirl around the workplace because people are just obsessed.

Positives: Strong people, very attractive, can use their good looks to their advantage, will grow to be a boss.

18° in Personal Planets/1st house/6th house/8th house: 18° is the shadow side of Virgo. Having this degree could indicate serious illness, tragedy, and critical misfortunes playing a role in your life. This doesn't have to be the native themselves experiencing these things, but it will affect them whether that be through family, a partner, friendships, etc.

Positives: I feel like this could be true but not always so if you have this degree anywhere you're most likely safe. But then again you might not be. Good luck. :)

🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿💙🧿

I'm definitely forgetting a bajillion placements but it's all so negative so I'm going to end here. I'm not trying to be negative I'm just shining a light on certain placements because they're fucking hard to deal with!!!

To the people that say no placement is bad or negative: how does it feel to have rainbows and sunshine shooting out of your fucking ass?! Be forreal.

Life is hard, we all know that. How could we appreciate the fortunes if we didn't have misfortunes? For all the negative there will be positive too. Here's to all of us and our shitty fucking placements 🎉

[zoeykallus]

Can you please please please do a

What made them fall in love with you- Wolffe , Rex, Jesse and fives? ✋🏻🙂‍↕️🤚🏻

Aloha! Oh sure, I love this topic 😊

Wolffe/Rex/Jesse x Reader HCs - How They Fall In Love With You

Warnings: None (Mostly Fluff)

Masterlist

Ko-Fi (If you feel like giving me some coffee)

Wolffe

How it starts:

It may sound strange, but the first thing he'll notice is that you're neither afraid of him nor condescending towards him. You'd be surprised how many people react negatively to him, partly because he's a clone, but also because his scars give him a slightly wilder appearance. Normal, decent behavior is already a ray of hope for the clone soldier.

You don't turn away, you treat him with respect and even if you find it a little difficult because the grumpy, handsome Wolffe makes you nervous, you maintain eye contact. This immediately makes you more likeable and arouses Wolffe's first cautious curiosity.

What happens next:

You think for yourself, you have your own opinion, even about the clones. You know what you want, and you have that smile that makes his knees go weak. Wolffe is anything but easily impressed, but you fascinate him. He may not be able to say exactly what it is from the start, it's lots of little things.

Wolffe never intended to fall in love, so he doesn't immediately understand the pull he feels when you're around, the pull you exert on him. He is always looking to be close to you, to make contact with you, and at first he doesn't really know why.

He likes your voice, he likes to listen to you, Wolffe admires the way you express your opinion, stubborn but not disrespectful. He's not normally a great talker, but he likes talking to you. Although you occasionally challenge him a little in your conversations, or perhaps precisely because of this, he enjoys your conversations to the full. You make him feel like he belongs, that his opinion is important, no matter what the topic, even if your opinions aren't always exactly the same. You take the time to discuss things with him that are close to his heart, really listen and try to understand. You probably have no idea how much he appreciates this.

In this context, it happens quite unexpectedly, a little smile from you, a look in your eyes, a tone in your voice and Wolffe is lost. He tries to spend every free minute with you. He already has your com number, so he calls you from time to time when he can, sometimes just to hear your voice and makes up some excuse to justify the call.

However, it will take him weeks, maybe even months, to admit to himself and to you that he has a crush. Be patient and try not to push him, sooner or later he will tell you of his own accord.

Rex

How it starts:

The rebellion has brought you together. You may not be a fighter, but you support the rebellion in whatever way you can. Maybe as a caterer, cargo pilot, cook, medic or administrator. No matter how you help, you do your best, and of course Rex notices. He notices the way you treat him and his brothers, you treat them like real heroes, soldiers, their welfare is close to your heart. You admire these men and their fight against the empire, and this is also visible to the outside world.

What happens next:

You keep coming into contact and your manner, your commitment, warms his heart. The fact that someone, who is not a clone, stands by their side in this way gives him hope again and again. After a while, it comes automatically when he sees you, he feels uplifted, hopeful, full of new energy.

It's actually pretty obvious, and yet you sneak into his heart rather than opening the door.

Rex seeks contact with you more and more often, discusses important things concerning the rebellion with you, even if you may not be able to contribute much, he wants to hear your opinion, feel the confidence in your smile, get the feeling that only you can give him, that everything will be all right.

He doesn't know what it is yet, why you have such an intense effect on him. Rex only knows that you are good for him, your smile, your words, your commitment, in whatever way. For him, in a way, it almost feels like you are the most important part of the whole rebellion. Which is nonsense from a rational point of view, of course, but he likes that feeling, he likes you.

The great leader, Rex, comes to rest with you, to find new hope and energy. When Rex returns from a mission, your face is the sign for him, the feeling that he is back home. He has been hopelessly in love for a long time without really knowing it.

Jesse

How it starts:

It's a coincidence that you happen to overhear the three clones talking about how poor the food they're getting is, how they're craving certain things. On impulse, you get some treats and bring them to the three clones (Jesse/Fives/Hardcase) who have been assigned to duty in one of the hangars for a while because of a “little stupidity”. In connection with their punishment, the food has also been restricted to protein bars.

The confused and, shortly afterwards, beaming, delighted faces of the clones make you grin.

Jesse looks up, with a critical eye, and asks, “What's the catch? Why is a Civi bringing us food?”

You laugh amusedly, assuring him that there isn't one, and you just wanted to do something good.

He looks at you indecisively for a moment, but finally goes for the roast chicken he had been craving.

What happens next:

You often pass the hangar on your way to or from work/university/etc., you pass it almost every day. The men greet you cheerfully every time. Again and again you bring food instead of just walking past, and soon you are invited to sit down and eat something too.

Out of curiosity, you ask, “How did the punishment actually come about?”

Jesse answers you, pointing at Fives and saying, “We helped tar and feather a Civi who was being a jerk to his girlfriend”

Fives chuckles, “It was worth it”

Jesse and Hardcase join in the giggles that elicit a grin from you.

“Sounds like you guys did the right thing”

Jesse smirks at you and says, “I agree”

You join the boys more and more regularly, sometimes even helping out a bit, joking and chatting. You like the clones, and they like you. Jesse in particular is very fond of you. The others are already starting to tease him about it, but they're decent enough not to do it in front of you.

He waits every day for you to come over again, he doesn't care about food anymore. He wants to see your face, hear your voice, make jokes with you. You're so nice, so different from other Civis. On the last day of his transfer, he asks for your com number to keep in touch with you.

You don't really expect him to call you, but he does, the very next weekend, and invites you to come to 79's.

You see a lot of clones here, a lot of the same or very similar faces. But apart from Jesse's tattoo, the grin he gives you is also unique. He is so incredibly happy that you actually came.

You sit together in a quieter corner and after a drink or two, Jesse says almost casually, with a wry smile.

“Hey you, I might have a crush on you”

@rintheemolion

@andyoufollowyourheart @clone-whore-99

@brynhildrmimi @kaliel2310

@misogirl828 @tech-deck

@meshla-madalene

@chxpsi

@thebahdbitch

@nahoney22 @ladykatakuri

@darkangel4121

@ttzamara

@arctrooper69

@padawancat97

@agenteliix

@allsystemsblue

@palliateclaw

@either-madness-or-brilliance

@ortizshinkaroff

@andy-solo1

@hunterssecretrecipe

@heyitsaloy

@greaser-wolf

@extrahotpixels

@hated-by-me

@hunterxcrosshair

@malicemercy

@bebopsworld

@echos-girlfriend

@cpnt616

@dangraccoon

@jediknightjana

@pb-jellybeans

@antishadow2021

@sleepycreativewriter

@projectdreamwalker

@1vlouds

@clonelovr

@ivyyyyy

[crimsonender]

Mikaila Orchard sucks at Paneling

I debated making this a video or not. But, I decided against it. If you guys are interested in me making videos about this sort of thing, let me know and perhaps it's something I could cover in the future.

So Mikaila Turkleson aka Mikaila Orchard has always made... questionable art. To me it seems like a weird amalgamation of Equestria Girls and Sophie Labelle's art. Anatomy bad character design bad etc etc. I don't however see a lot of people talk about her paneling.

Recently, Mikaila and presumably her partner, Lily Orchard started a new art endeavour. I assume to turn over a new leaf and bury the now-infamous Pokemadhouse. You can find it over at bhaalspawnfunnies. It appears as if the blog will focus around the player character of Baldur's Gate 1, Gorion's Ward, and their half sister, Imoen. This is the first entry.

Source

Where to start? My first impression is that this is very poorly drawn, and low effort even by Mikaila's standards. The speech bubbles are low contrast against the background. The ground/floor blurry blob looks extremely bad. As a fellow artist I get the distinct impression that Mikaila did not want to draw this piece.

Moreover, there's a huge issue with the panelling and pacing. Comics are really cool in that you can kind of use panelling and negative space to "time" jokes, leading the eye where you want it to go and using framing and other art tricks to make a punchline land a little better.

This "comic" has none of that. There is no pacing, there is no comedic timing. It's all bland and presented as a block. I took it upon myself to re-panel this piece, and I've made two versions: One, with Mikaila's art style and visuals, but with the panelling slightly adjusted to be more punchy and effective, the other I completely redrew, using the same joke.

Excuse the sloppiness. I'm not going to expend too much energy polishing and gilding this turd.

That being said, this is already a huge improvement. Even if Mikaila isn't at the technical level of a professional artist, this is very attainable with only a few more minutes of effort. The timing is punchier, the speech bubbles draw your eyes down the page, and even without colour coding, it's clear which of the characters is talking. This isn't exactly a hot take but in my opinion you shouldn't need colour coding on a comic page to denote who is speaking. It should be very obvious! Moreover, speech bubbles should be included in the composition, not added as an after thought.

I'm guessing the original comic took her less than an hour to make. I think I'm being generous here, honestly if this took her more than twenty minutes I would be concerned. Being generous though I gave myself one hour to make a version completely redrawn.

This was again, very quickly put together and of course is in no way perfect, but its to demonstrate what a little bit of thought can do to improve a comic page. I decided to change the pose of Gorion because making family guy references should be a a cardinal sin for artists, as well as make the characters a little more recognizable. "Aryana" is, notably, Lily's OC and bears little resemblance to the canon character of Gorion's Ward, but considering Baldurs Gate does allow character customization and dialogue choices, I decided to make their gender a little more ambiguous so players of any gender could see their version of Gorion's Ward in the comic, but kept the elf with long dark hair appearance from Mikaila's original. I also looked over the pic after I was all done and ready to upload and noticed some small flaws I could easily fix, and went back and did those things. You should always go over your pieces when you're finished them with fresh eyes before you submit them as a final piece.

Again, this certainly isn't perfect and I'd probably put more effort into a piece with characters I care about and a joke I actually find funny, but I hope this demonstrates that pacing and expression really are everything in comics.

[justalia]

states of consciousness

this is gonna be a guide to states for dummies.

i’m gonna try and explain this in the simplest way possible so that it clicks for you even if you haven’t read the source.

key information before diving deep

★ imagination is the only reality ★

3D = physical form of imagination

4D = imagination, consciousness, awareness

whatever you are experiencing physically as real as it may feel you need to realize you are only experiencing the feelings the physical experience gives you.

the 3D is simply a reflection of consciousness and everything physical exists because you are aware of it. it wouldn’t be there if you were not aware of experiencing it in imagination.

imagination is a lens through which you experience your physical world and whatever you persist in is what expresses. this is why you can manifest.

whatever may be going on in the 3D is not what you’re experiencing, you are always experiencing imagination. you are always trusting imagination.

remember when you “trusted your gut” in the past?

remember when you had a feeling that one person in your friend group wasn’t so good and then you were proved right?

“ohhh i just knew it! i’m always right.”

well news flash —>

that’s you experiencing and trusting imagination!

you are only and always experiencing consciousness, this is exactly why manifestation happens.

it is a new way of approaching life, completely opposite to what we have been thought but once truly understood it is the easiest thing ever.

what we grew up believing:

imagination is fiction, delusion, fake.

the outside world is reality, facts, truth.

we learned to bring our physical limitations to imagination. even if we knew we could imagine a different situation to what we were physically experiencing we dismissed it because we thought there was no reason to do it since it was fake, delusion, lies.

we didn’t allow ourselves to enjoy the experience in imagination because it was not “realistic”.

what’s the point of imagining something so “unrealistic”? you’re an adult! face your reality and move on! be responsible! deal with your problems! stop dreaming!

we learned to only trust our inner feeling on something when it came to negative things. because it is easier to accept that negative things can happen out of nowhere, it’s easy to trust that the possibility of negativity happening to us is so real because we believe we have no control in our reality.

when you believe you have no control and you’re living in a world of chaos where there’s no reason why things are happening it’s very easy to believe bad things can happen.

this is why we have built this concept of “gut feeling”, of just trusting your gut when it comes to situations.

“if you have a bad feeling that something is gonna happen, trust your gut!”

well this is just the way man trusts his imagination, the way man always has and always will trust his imagination first.

this is applicable to having the feeling of something good happening of course but that is just a bit rarer because since this is what we have always known it takes a very solid, well rounded and confident person with a strong character to strongly believe something good is gonna happen and to have a “positive” gut feeling.

why? simply because we have learned to believe we are who we are based on our external experiences and infect the belief we have about who we are with the opinions of others.

this is why it takes a strong character to believe something good can happen when you don’t know about manifestation and are simply living with the belief that we have no control over what happens to us.

what manifestation is

manifestation is allowing yourself to experience whatever you want in imagination without bringing the limitations of the outer world within you and trusting/realizing that imagination is the creator of all things.

all you have to do to manifest is allow yourself to experience in imagination what is it that you want to experience no matter what is happening in the physical world.

you know that imagination is limitless and you can literally conjure up anything, you can imagine everything you want.

the only push you need is allowing yourself to experience it in imagination even if the physical world you’re living in is completely opposite.

since you CAN why not be aware of having the solution to your problems in imagination?

since you CAN why not be aware of being the solution to your problems in imagination?

it makes you feel great and you shouldn’t live in misery in your own head. if you can imagine something great because you have this wonderful ability why would you bring the lack and the limitations and the circumstances to your own ONLY mind?

why would you live in desire and misery if you have fulfillment and happiness at your fingertips?

states of consciousness

now that we’ve established the basics let’s understand states of consciousness.

what they are:

states of consciousness are experiences.

experiences you want to live.

that’s all they are.

a state is just an experience or a concept of yourself.

it’s an experience you want to live where you either have something you want or you are something you wanna be.

it is that simple. it’s not some fancy concept, trust me.

this is where the desire comes in:

you want to live this experience, you wish for it, you hope for it and since you don’t know how to apply manifestation you live in wanting, hoping, wishing, desiring because you have been “trained” to not fulfill yourself in imagination, dismiss this desire simply because you don’t have it physically.

you are always in a state means that you are always experiencing something whether that be lack or fulfillment, chaos or peace.

we are always in a state because we are always experiencing something.

right now you’re probably reading this post because you are in the state of not having your desired experience and in the state of trying to manifest your desired experience.

to manifest you simply need to allow yourself to experience in imagination what you want to experience disregarding all doubts, limitations, circumstances because they don’t matter in imagination since you can imagine experiencing anything you want.

learn to change imagination before worrying about changing the senses.

the change in the world of senses will come automatically, naturally and in the best way possible, it’s not something you need to worry about because it’s not your job to make it physical.

to change imagination you need to change your state aka your experience in imagination.

this is what it means to shift states.

this is what it means to shift to the state of the wish fulfilled. —> allowing yourself to experience what you want in imagination regardless of what’s going on in the outer world.

focus on the change of imagination.

change imagination and the outer world will follow.

“you need to change self!”

“you need to change within!”

“you need to change inside.”

what is the self? imagination.

what is the “within”? imagination.

what is the “inside”? imagination.

the way you change imagination is by accepting that you already are who you want to be in imagination and you already have what you want to have in imagination.

the only reason why you struggle is because you don’t accept that you have this experience that you desire already within yourself, and because you try to mold your state to your 3D, instead of completely disregarding it.

since you can imagine it, it exists.

this goes for everything!

imagination creates all things! including the ones you don’t want.

accept this duality.

the sp who doesn’t want you exists just like the sp who is deeply in love with you.

the version of you who’s broke exists just like the version of you who’s wealthy.

EVERYTHING YOU CAN IMAGINE EXISTS.

the only reason why you’re not experiencing what you want is because you’re not accepting its existence and persisting in being aware of such concept of yourself.

when you accept the duality of imagination and accept that in it you have all these concepts of yourself, bad and horrible ones and amazing ones you understand that your job when being indifferent to the senses it’s not to deny the existence of the opposite state you’re now experiencing, but rather to deny the belief that you are stuck in it by simply accepting a new truth in its place: the new concept/state.

manifestation works by realizing/accepting that this wonderful experience exists within you and persisting in being aware of it, persisting in being aware of having already the thing you want in imagination instead of being aware of its opposite.

the state you light up with awareness is what manifests.

you’re not pretending, you are it. you have it.

imagination is the only thing we experience always so whatever you experience in imagination is true always. that’s the only truth. you only need to believe this truth to exist and to be real.

remember!!!

imagination is the only causal power and the only creator. there’s nothing outside of you causing events to happen, there’s no fate nor destiny and no such thing as divine timing or “whatever is meant for me will come”. there is only You and Your Awareness.

it’s not your job to make something physical, god is within you in your imagination and will build the road for you.

manifestation is instant, the moment you imagine some new concept or state about yourself the 3D starts adjusting and reshuffling for you.

your only jobs is enjoying being the one who has it (your desire) in imagination.

remove the concept of past or future from your imagination because tomorrow is shaped based on who you are being now, there is no reason for you to worry about the future if you’re in control of it.

stop worrying about time, it is a social construct the only thing out there is the present moment (imagination). there is only Now.

you don’t get to decide when or how your manifestation is materialized and it’s not your job to focus on that, you only focus on having. since imagination is the only reality your manifestation is real now.

you are not your body, you are not your brain, you are not your thoughts, you are not your emotions and you are not your states.

you are awareness choosing which state to experience.

live your life without worries because your needs are met already, go to sleep knowing that your needs are met and live a peaceful fulfilled life.

[sammiesallow]

Sebastian Sallow headcanons

summary- dating headcanons with Sebastian. a/n- all my personal opinion! cw's- mentions of violence/blood, use of crucio, angry Sebastian

the jealous type. we all know this.

he gets so jealous when you spend time with Garreth, but then you reassure him it's ok :)

"I could never replace you with anyone else seb, you're my pretty boy"

melts at that btw.

nicknames galore!! he wants to call you everything and he expects it back from you too

'angel, darling, honey, sweetheart, pretty boy.

"you think I'm pretty? really?" "of course I do, Seb."

he gives you the most blinding smile you have ever seen. absolutely adorable

y'all are so loving?? he is definitely a lover of pda, doesn't mind holding hands, a hand on the thigh(not in an intimate way, just for some physical touch :D), a kiss on the cheek, etc.

Sebastian is always touch-starved and craves attention from you. even a look in his direction or a "Hi Darling!" as you're passing him in the hallway will have him smiling like an idiot for the rest of the day

more intimate moments are shared in private, however, like in the undercroft.

Merlin knows those paintings, gargoyles, suits of armor, even the floo flames lady will eavesdrop on y'all and tattletale to a professor if you do anything more than share a kiss on the cheek.

Sebastian loves you with all his heart. he couldn't bear the thought of you getting hurt or worse

every time you leave the castle, please send him an owl. it lets him know where you're going and it tells him you're safe.

he's worried sick if you come back with even the slightest scratch.

"Merlin's beard! darling, are you alright? are you hurt anywhere? do you want me to kiss it better???" he says as you come into the undercroft with one scratch on your face LOLL

it's all fun and games until someone hurts you. let's say you're on a quest together, somewhere in a cave and you two get ambushed. it would probably go like this:

"Diffindo!" an Ashwinder threw out the spell in your direction, hitting your abdomen and leaving a large gash in its wake. Sebastian yelped, not having noticed your state, and threw a quick "arresto momentum!" in the enemy's way to stall their time. "merlin! are you alright-" Sebastian stopped all movement when he saw you- you were hunched over in pain, groaning as you tried to stop the bleeding coming from the gash on your side. At that moment, he felt nothing but pure and unbridled rage. "you BASTARD!" Sebastian turned to the Ashwinder, (who was quite literally about to cast Avada kedavra on him) and cast crucio. nobody touches his girlfriend.

that's definitely one of his red flags.. he has anger issues, and won't hesitate to hurt someone if they hurt you. it's kinda endearing though

speaking of red flags- I'm not gonna ignore them? we all love him but he does have negative traits that will show through in y'alls relationship.

He's overly possessive and gets super upset when another boy tries to flirt with you. if you don't say something to the guy- sebastian will; and i dont think you want that.

he's not very in-touch with his emotions. he has a hard time expressing his feelings because of a) his insecurities and b) his ego.

but on a more positive note, you help him through these things!

meeting ominis and becoming friends with him gave you the opportunity to ask another person about sebastians troubles, and you can confide in him for advice when you need it!

you're sebastian's sunshine- quite literally. you help him through his tough times, and on a regular day, you brighten his mood imensely.

ON TO THE CUTER RELATIONSHIP STUFF!!!

HE WANTS TO CUDDLE YOU.

if he's tired he becomes 100% more affectionate- which means cuddles in the undercroft, his head on your shoulder in class, a hand on your under the table at dinner, etc.

Sebastian isn't the brightest, but if he has a class with you, he'll listen to anything you have to say.

he adores your smarts- whether or not you're actually smart is up to you, but it's not like he'll care. you could be the dumbest mf in the world and he'll still be proud of you!

he's your cheerleader! in crossed wands, the broom race against imelda, summoner's court, even an arm wrestling contest, he's there to cheer you on

it's because he never had someone to do that for him- losing his parents at such a young age, he didnt have cheerleaders to be proud of him through his achievments, so he does it for you!

in return, you take him on cute little dates!

little picnics in the vivarium are his favorite. he loves the feeling of laying of the grass and cloudgazing with you.

you know he needs to relax- so it becomes a regular thing for you two to sneak off to the room of requirement.

the undercroft is still a regular hang-out, usually used for absolute tomfoolery.

i mean, you sebastian and ominis will have stupid competitions all the time.

"let's see who can cast confringo the farthest!!" "Sebastian no!!" "Sebastian yes!"

chaos trio.

more importantly, chaos duo.

you enable his stupid ideas and make sure that he does them safely.

unless it's something stupidly unsafe- then you'll have to lure him back to the undercroft with cuddles and kisses. <3

A/N- MY REQUESTS ARE OPEN!!!! pls send me ideas!! :)

[terukotime]

You say you don’t like the killer reveal, why? I actually think dev made some great choices and I’d love to talk to you about your perspective.

i don't want to get too deep into it because, like i mentioned in my previous post, i don't want my criticism to come off as negativity towards the series or discourage anyone involved in the production of the show because it's honestly not a huge deal. like, it in no way ruins the show or makes it less enjoyable for me. and i don't think the choice of who the culprit is is a bad one at all, i'm mostly unsatisfied with the way the chapter handles it.

[spoilers beneath the cut, obvi lol. and please remember this is just my opinion. me having and expressing my opinion is not hate towards the series. i'm nervous enough as it is posting just this and not a bigger essay on all my thoughts because i really don't want to have this be misconstrued, nor do i want any criticism i have to give, regardless of how innocent and respectful my intentions, to make drdtdev or anyone who works on the series feel bad.]

i think Ace being the killer DOES make sense. i have no qualms with him being the blackened, in theory. do i think he could've made for a great survivor, or have really interesting growth throughout the coming chapters? yeah! i would have loved for Ace to be kept around for much longer. but him being the killer this chapter isn’t inherently bad. it's now clear that there's a specific direction Ace's character was meant to go in this story and i think that's fine.

my problem is with what *didn't* happen with Ace's character up to this point.

the chapter hasn't concluded yet so there's still a chance for my thoughts to change, though i don't think it'll make much of a difference. but i'm still waiting to see if it can stick the landing. and even if it doesn't, that's okay. i've already accepted it, i'm just still disappointed by it all the same.

Ace, honestly, hasn't played much of an active role in the story. he's been a source of conflict and comedic relief, and that's okay, not every character has to be as important as Xander or David...but he hasn't really gotten to *do* anything. this series is very character-driven, and thus is very focused on the relationships between other characters. Ace has only had one notable relationship (outside of his feud with Nico, but i'm not really including that as a "relationship" for obvious reasons), and that was with Levi. and that didn't even stay positive for very long. and we also know now that Levi didn't even care about him to begin with because he doesn't care about people in general.

not only did Ace never really get to establish any other relationships, no one ever LIKED him. of course a good portion of the fandom likes him, but in the actual story, no one cares about him. no one will miss him. his death is honestly kind of meaningless character-wise. does it serve as a lesson to some of the other characters? sure. but he's going to be dying here with no one ever liking or caring about him.

Min's story wasn't just a cautionary tale. people did like her, people did care about her. she was friends with a lot of characters, she got to have an impact in the daily lives of others. we got to know her better, the things she liked, her deeper thoughts and opinions on things. she got to do stuff, and we got to learn about her. her death meant more to the characters beyond just being the first culprit. she died as a person, not just as a character.

most of the stuff we know about Ace is surface level or things confirmed in Q&As. he doesn't get to contribute much aside from the aforementioned conflict/comedic relief. i understand where the show is going with that idea, and why him not being liked by anyone is a specific part of what led him to murder, but that's not really what irks me. it's that Ace never got to really be a *person.* he's essentially a plot device, serving the greater "good person" theme going on this chapter, and filling in the smaller roles in the story when needed, like an antagonist in a scene or delivering a gag. yes, his admittance to killing Arei and eventual post-trial trauma dump will give him a bit more humanity and character...but that's not really enough.

we only get to see Ace how the other members of the cast see Ace: his loud, combative, aggressive side. the side that makes people think he's nothing more than an angry meathead who can't do anything right. we never got to see much of his other sides, of a much more somber, melancholic Ace. receiving even a hint of the Ace we see in his confession of guilt beforehand would have given him the depth we needed before this point.

to explain what i mean: imagine how unsatisfying it would have been if we never got to actually see Arei's breakdown in the playground. if Teruko had left before it happened, and we only get to learn what happened from a flashback from David's perspective. we already feel the weight and tragedy of Arei's death when her body is discovered because we knew beforehand why she behaved the way she did, how she never even liked being the way she is, and wishing she could be a good person like Eden. if we didn't get to see that happen beforehand, Arei's death would feel very flat and detached. her character growth would've happened entirely retroactively.

that's how i feel with Ace. it's not like he didn’t get enough spotlight this chapter, he certainly did. but every scene he was in really didn't really add anything new to him. the only thing that "progressed" with him was his hatred and paranoia. we just see him descend with no uplifting moments, no emotional hook to make us feel anything for him. the closest we get is the scene where he's arguing with Nico and Veronika at lunch, ranting about how poorly everyone thinks of him and that they all assume that he's for some reason happy to be the way he is. but it's really the barest of scrapes towards the deeper layers of his character.

a big problem is that there were a lot of chances for his character to actively be *explored*, but instead, the narrative perspective of him stays completely stagnant. the time we get with him this chapter doesn't give him any greater focus. and sure, you could say that that might be a big giveaway to him being the culprit, but i think if the time between character spotlight is distributed evenly, that would be easily circumvented. there was a lot more time that could've been spent building Ace's character beyond his animosity and self-loathing tendencies. we could have had someone actually attempting to bond with him, even if it doesn't turn out well. even if all the characters distrust each other to varying degrees, there's still a lot of characters that like each other or have unique bonds with each other that make them stand out and feel worth remembering, because those bonds contribute something to their characters. but with Ace? he truly gets the short end of the stick, because this isn't just the characters neglecting him, it's the story itself. if Ace got to have a moment like Arei, maybe someone to confide in, even if he wasn't really friends with them or liked them at all, him being vulnerable just once and having a moment with someone else would have rooted him in more as a person who fell victim to what the killing game wanted from him and not just a fictional character fulfilling the purpose required of them in the story.

honestly, it's a bit of a slap in the face, the way the show goes about it. because in hindsight, Ace's whole character is *meant* to be wasted potential. after all, his related phrase on Mai's bio page is "a girl who had a bright future".

he was set up to have the potential to change, the potential to add more to the story, the potential to show us more than what we were given. and i think the show kind of knows that and specifically perpetuates that. the scene where Teruko tells Levi to give up on trying to apologize to Ace almost reads as the show itself telling you to give up on Ace. that, why should we care about him? he's not going to amount to what we want from him. there's no use in investing our feelings in him.

whether or not any of that actually was intentionally doesn't matter, unfortunately, because rewatching so many scenes having this new context really makes it all seem like Despair Time doesn't want you to care about Ace. that Ace is meant to be a waste, that that's the core of his character. him being the epitome of wasted potential could have been great, actually, if they chose to use even a slight bit of that potential to build him up more before his inevitable demise. instead we watch him eat shit throughout the entire show thus far only for him to get royally fucked at the very end in the worst way possible. Ace's theme of wasted potential is only wasted potential because nothing is ever done with him. not actively, anyways. whatever his post-trial confessional is like won't really give us what we needed from the start. Ace didn't just deserve better in his life. he deserves better as a fictional character. he deserved to be a person and not *just* a character. he deserved to have deeper, emotional character moments outside of the trial, long before his murder confession and rapidly approaching demise. he deserved to be 3-dimensional.

again, this is all just my personal opinion, and there's still a chance the show can stick the landing and make Ace as the culprit feel a lot more natural and deserved. i'm not really confident in that happening, but drdt is full of surprises as well as a lot of great writing. that being said, even though i believe they kinda fumbled the bag with Ace here, i don't hate this turn of events. although he's a big favorite of mine, i still wanted Eden to be innocent over him, because she's also a great character and her killing Arei would not only be pretty huge character assassination, but would also make Arei's death meaningless. and i also think there were other characters who could have been better candidates as the chapter 2 killer (not just Hu, i think Levi, Arturo, and maybe even J also could've made for compelling culprits with the right reasons).

i'm content with this. i'm heartbroken he's going so early and i wish the execution of his guilt had been a lot better, but overall it's not terrible. he just deserved so much more in many different ways.

[astropookie]

astro thoughts 🏇🌈✨💫🍳

HAPPY PRIDE MONTH ❤️ even though it’s almost July

disclaimer: I didn’t check my orthography

i hate it but what’s trying to tell me the universe. my friend reminds me of my mom 😭 kill me pls. she have sun 11H, she worries a lot about how others understand what she saids, what others may think of her. she wants to be peaceful but at the same time she have moon in scorpio so she’s struggling and she have a certain opinion about others based on the first impression or what made more impact -negative? idk. now I feel judge -I think it’s my anxiety-. Update: i said what was bothering me to her and everything is said, I’m proud of me, I’m in peace, she responded in a understanding manner. I can breath.

the degree of your ascendant says ALOT, not only about the physical appearance. it could point out even your career, how’s focused your life, how you react…now that I think about it, it’s like an ascendant in your ascendant pc (but if it confused you ignore it).

for example, my friend have gemini degree in his ascendant, he’s doing his major in communication, his family is full of artists and specially musicians, so he grew up knowing how to play every music instrument, it’s like breathing to him, music. he’s used to it and he express himself by composing and being curious, wanting to know about this and that. other example: my other friend has a gemini rising but I was thinking “there’s something that’s missing” 👀 the leo degree of course. he be slayyiing💅 he’s sassy. he knows what he wants and people always be wanting him not the other way around 🙄 he’s like purr stunning gurl 💋

the same friend told me the other day that his first impression of me was or exactly what he thought: “you don’t want to mess with her” “I wouldn’t mess with her ever”. he told me I remembered him of maddy of euphoria -I gave him the idea bc I didn’t understand and he agreed-. Ascendant - Saturn aspects make you look like a bad bitch, like they’ll kick your ass if you don’t do what they tell you, THEY ARE. The structure of their face is also bony. They look like they’re mad, like they’re on their way and if you step there you’re dead: karmic. The jawline, omg, is sharp, it could cut you.

Picture 1 Picture 2 Picture3

Also, bc Capricorn is ruled by Saturn, Capricorn ascendants and saturn-ascendant aspects share characteristics but are not the same? Capricorn risings have this cheekbones that are so sensual and even if they age, the cheekbones are still there, what you notice first is that. What they share is the intimidating aura strangers perceive. In different levels or forms I believe.

Dakota Johnson Gisele Bündchen

TWO QUEENS THAT I CANT FINISH TO DESCRIBE HOW THEIRE SO ETHEREAL BEAUTIFUL STUNNING ICONIC AND INFINITE THINGS MORE

I have Mars in Retrograde. I don’t know what bothers me until I explode or until I go to my psychologist. I minimize what bothers me and save it all in the back, so then my brain will hurt. I don’t figure out or notice when something bothers me bc I don’t think is a big deal or that’s a joke, but even if it’s a joke I can still not like it -a side note-. You’ll find me realizing later what was bothering me and then struggling to tell people how I really felt when they did THAT something.

Picture from Pinterest

when the kid’s mercury is sextile Saturn’s dad (synastry: mercury sextile saturn), it means the dad communicates with their child as a way of teaching, caring about them. through their communication, they share childhood stories, experiences of any type and what they have learned about them, what they have observed. trough their talking they share their wisdom. the father have all the attention of their kid when he opens his mouth. the kid somehow knows something important is about to be said or they admires their dad that much.

Picture from Pinterest

Leo moons 5H + aries degree can be pretty egoist, they could lost themselves in the idea of something, of having it. Also they don’t think, twice letting themselves be carried by the emotion that idea gives them. They’re in their pretty little world of fun but they are not looking what’s happening to others, they’re hungry for their passion. I HAVE TO TELL: not everyone with these placements are like this and blablabla -the same thing I say for precaution- AND I had something, it’s not even something 🙄 I had nothing with these placement k? but it gives you an explanation for my attitude. STILL, I think I gotta mention some of the synastry so it’ll make sense. In another time bc I don’t want to waste my energy in that -and don’t want to-.

Saturn in opposition with Uranus aspect makes the individual stay in the doubt. They’re stanched while they keep analyzing the pro and cons of the situation they want to start/be part. Even if someone extern try to help, they’ll be doubting more.

Virgo moons are just so wholesome ☹️❤️ They want to help. they’re always doing something. they want the best for you. they care of others as if they take care of themselves but better, sadly. they work too much they need a rest but they know they’ll be anxious of doing nothing. they’re just pure souls. they’re so kind. always helping in a ONG/organization that helps needed ones.

Aquarius mercury always have something to say, they’re always right 🙄 even though they say it’s comprensible and natural that everyone have their own beliefs I don’t believe them. I think they think their mindset is better and everyone should follow it. LIKE GURL WTF I know you think you are wise and shit and you’ve passed through experiences that made you learned and that inspired you to tell them to others BUT let others make mistakes and be wrong, let others don’t be like you, there’s the beauty. I always find them criticizing others for their manners, as if they have lived the same way you did.

I don’t believe/trust? in libras, yeah ok may be that my sun is in libra but not my whole chart. That’s what I’m talking about, with that last sentence I’m gaslighting you 💌 how tf you believe in libras when they don’t tell the truth directly I CANT. With my honesty I gotta mention that my libra sun appear when I don’t want to ruin something that benefits me, when I don’t know the person and I try my best, to my sag/scorpio/aquarius placements to not appear. They always keep something in their minds, they don’t tell you all, they keep to themselves some part, could be to not hurt you, doesn’t benefits them or whatever. a friend with moon in libra degree and another with libra moon: I always want them to say what they want, they can’t. I want to squish the hell out of them bc I can’t too😭🔪

Ceres 3H is a good placement for a psychologist. How they motivate others using their minds, that easily absorbs and process/analyses experiences and knowledge, to finally find a solution depending on the case -of the patient-, so it’ll be suitable. When they help others, their communication keeps improving with time. More experience = better. Still, it’s natural.

—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•—•

❀ Based on my personal experience.

❀ English is not my first language.

❀ I’m not a profesional astrologer.

Thank youu. baibaiii🫣🫶🏼💋

Do not copy. Please give me credits.

[mind-less-boy]

Why has Spider Man become a trans icon?

It’s a popular head canon between multiple spider man movies, tv shows, and other media, that Peter Parker is a trans boy (cuz lets be real, brother is just a boy 15 and kicking ass) Many fans, especially queer fans, like the head canon that he’s trans. But why? 

Disclaimer: I’m not saying that it’s an “incorrect” or “bad” head canon, I myself am a trans man and like this head canon. I’m not at all trying to “debunk” the head canon, I just find it fascinating that Spider man was given such an honor (lol)

So a basic overview of Peter Parker’s typical Spider man journey: 

He’s just a normal kid, going to highschool and getting by just fine

He gets bit by the spider and suddenly discovers all these new things about himself 

He decides to hide it, even around his closest family in fear that they won’t understand, that they’ll hate him, or just the knowledge that he could put them in danger if they knew

Revealing his true identity could (and has) out him in immense danger

Eventually, friends and family find out and love him for it, but the rest of the world doesn’t have to know because what only matters is his friends and family

Now of course, this is very broad since every version of Spider man is slightly different, no one is exactly the same. For example, Tom Holland’s Peter Parker just has the standard abilities, while Miles Morales Can turn invisible and produce lightning. Toby McGuire’s Spider man produces webs naturally while Gwen Stacy (who is confirmed to be trans in ATSV I believe)  has web cartridges. 

While yes, it can just be that the fans think that Spider man gives off trans vibes or because he acts like a trans fan, it often is, I think it’s also for a much, much deeper reason.

Peter Parker had to hide who he was from the entire world because he was scared of how it would affect his life. He was essentially living a double life. 

Trans people, myself included, often have these same feelings. We’re afraid of revealing our true identity in fear that we could be in danger or people simply won’t accept us. We lead a double life in the way that we have our true selves, with our desired gender expression, and we have what everyone else gets. 

Peter eventually tells his most trusted friends and family and they help him in every way they can and support him (of course they may not understand that whole “I shoot webs outta my wrists and stick to walls!”)

More often than not, trans people tell their friends first, their most trusted friends, and get their support and acceptance. Through this, they get courage to come out to parents which can go very different ways. People finding out the Peter Parker was spider man is either very positively or very negatively received. 

All this to say, we relate to Peter’s story. Having to hide your identity and only telling very few people. You hide something special about you (although, I don’t know many trans people who can stick to walls or shoot webs) 

I’ll leave this with one last thought. It’s been said that spider man wears a mask so that anyone can imagine themselves whine the mask. Spider man could be anyone, any identity. Any race, gender, sexuality, height, heritage, absolutely anything. That’s what makes spider man unique. He can be anyone and can be imagined as anyone. This makes it so much easier for, in this case, queer people to put their under-represented selves into the shoes of a hero who's respected and loved by all.

I just thought this was such an interesting thought and i wanted to say something about it. Feel free to share your own opinions on it, these are just my thoughts.

[shiningfremi]

freminet headcanons + extra drabbles!

romance, personality, and tidbits!

- deep down, he always wanted to become a diving instructor. how could he keep the oceanic scenery and adventure to himself? but he believes his introverted behavior holds him back :*(

- when he becomes close to you, he will become a whole snuggle bug, and will ask to cuddle whenever you guys are alone together~!

- his room is super well decorated. a bunch of adorable stuffed animals on his bed, stunning photographs and posters on his wall, and why, penguin decor of course! he also has a plentiful amount of seashells and souvenirs from his explorations.

- freminet's love for cuddling applies to hugs as well. I already know he gives the best hugs there is! he holds you tight, and whenever you're sad and in need of comfort, he quietly listens and delicately rubs your back.

𓆡 🪼 𓇼 𓆝

you began to cry harder than you already were upon receiving freminet's touch.

"shh, shh.. I'm here, love. I'm here. i will stay here with you for however long you need." he promised you in a calming voice.

🌊𓆉🐚

- he gets startled quite easily. freminet is definitely not a fan when he is suddenly crept up on! lyney often surprises him in this way, being the magician he is.

- freminet has a habit of biting his nails. he even moves onto the skin.. poor thing. because of this, he lets you paint his nails at times to steer him away from the biting, and he tries his best as to not ruin the polish.

- he is very mechanically inclined. he will even make a toy just like pers for you, any animal you desire! he absolutely adores your reaction to his creations! it inspires him to keep on creating them. :)

- he absolutely LOVES sleepovers! the fun of doing skincare routines and face masks together, the glow in your eyes as he listens in on the stories you tell, and if you fall asleep first, he hums a gentle lullaby, only ever loud enough to be a whisper~

- freminet can get overwhelmed from crowds and excessive questions, and so he relies on you in certain social situations. he is also more of a sensitive person, and avoids unnecessary conflict. if you catch anyone saying something about freminet, even one negative aspect, you are on the front lines to defend him!

- his eyelashes are very long. and I mean, long. you always compliment him on how pretty they are, and when you first met him, you accidentally glanced at them for too long.. oops!

- this boy is super duper ticklish. if you even slightly brush your hand against his ticklish spots, he bursts out in laughter. you love seeing him so giggly, so you do it whenever possible! >:D

𓆡 🪼 𓇼 𓆝

"AHAHA!! stop, stop!" he'd roll around on the ground, making helpless attempts to run away.

"never~! your laugh is music to my ears!" you genuinely appreciated this rare break from his day to day personality.

"I- y/n- HAHAH!" freminet loved being with you, so perhaps he could allow it just this once.. goodness, how could you get him into this situation~? (≧∇≦)

🌊𓆉🐚

- he has never been caught swearing. ever. nor has he ever shown a great amount of anger towards anyone. oh no, he wouldn't dare. freminet prefers to get all of his emotions out underwater, where he cannot be heard..

- freminet is a great cook. like sir, everything you create is delicious! and of course, his favourite dishes to whip up would be some variety of seafood.

𓆡 🪼 𓇼 𓆝

"y/n, which sauce do you think tastes better? or if you don't like them, please tell me.." he'd present to you a tiny spoonful of each, shyly inching forward.

after you take a sample of both of them, you gleefully express your opinion.

"I love them both! it would be delicious no matter what you make." you assure him.

🌊𓆉🐚

- he is very closed off. this goes back to how he feels about diving with others. he doesn't want to do a bad job, and is filled with the overwhelming fear of doing so. when you finally dive with him for the first time, he is like a completely different person. he effortlessly guides you through the depths of the sea, taking great attention to your status, your favorite sights and sea creatures, and freminet constantly checks up on you to make sure that you're comfortable.

𓆡 🪼 𓇼 𓆝

"freminet.. you're fantastic at this! you would be an amazing guide for new divers. I loved experiencing this opportunity with you." you mention, whilst a huge smile is plastered on your face.

"a-ah, no no y/n, you flatter me. I'm much more useful as a surveyer.. there are plenty more skilled individuals out there. im really not much.." he'd sadly reply, his expression seeming awfully distant.

"i see. you may think that, freminet, but in my eyes.. you're very talented. I think you have more to offer than you may believe, so don't be so hard on yourself." you'd reply, your gaze softening.

freminet paused for a moment upon hearing your kind words. his lips formed a subtle crescent upward, and his cheeks were dusted in a deep blush.

"thank you, y/n. you have no idea how much your words truly mean to me."

🌊𓆉🐚

[vote-gaara]

Positive Results - Gaara x (Fem) Reader

(NSFW under break)

Read on A03

Summary: You're at the stage in your life where you desperately want kids…Actually, you've always dreamed of having a family, and now that you've been in a relationship with Gaara for a few years now, you're thinking of broaching the subject with him.

There's just one problem, though: You have absolutely no clue what his opinions are on the matter!

Could it be that due to his past he might refuse to start a family, spelling the end of your relationship with him? Or are you just getting ahead of yourself and panicking over nothing?

You suppose there's only one way to find out: You need to build up your courage and simply just ask him…

Warnings: lots of fluff, impregnation, pregnancy, wanting to get pregnant, talk of kids, sex, creampie

Authors Notes: I don't know what happened with this fic, but it just got on the wrong bus all of a sudden and ended up in fluff town. Don't worry, though, there's still lots of steam.

This fic is read best by someone who wants children or can imagine themselves having children/getting pregnant. If that's not you, you could probably still enjoy it for what it's worth, but it might not be your thing.

Anyways, enjoy.

Positive Results

Everything you desperately yearned for was dependent on the answer you would receive in the next three minutes.

You were standing alone in your bathroom with an anxiety so great it nearly made you nauseous. To steady yourself you held your breath, but when you began hearing the blood flowing through your ears along with the hard drumming of your heart, you changed tactics and opted to take slow, deep breaths instead.

In front of you was a white, plastic pregnancy test you had purchased only half an hour ago. You had promised yourself that you would wait until Gaara got home so that you both could endure the torture of the wait together, but you couldn’t help yourself. You simply had to know.

Now you occupied yourself the best you could, covering the test with the instruction booklet so that you didn’t have to look at it; then, quite abruptly, you changed your mind and ripped off the paper pamphlet to stare eagerly down at the result window. This compulsive action repeated so many times that you were certain you could have set your own world record for most amount of paper moved in 3 minutes.

It was torment. Utter torment. 

You began reasoning with yourself the best you could, “If it’s negative now, it’s really no big deal. We can always try again next month.” 

This thought comforted you and eased the tension from your shoulders as you reminisced over the last few months leading up to this very important moment.

***

The question on whether or not Gaara wanted to have children was something that burdened you with a doubt so strong that it paved its way to dread.

You had always wanted to have children, but now you desperately wanted to have children with Gaara, and the prospect that he didn’t feel the same anguished you greatly.

“In the way he was raised, of course he wouldn’t want to have children!” You reasoned, advocating against yourself. “And of course even if we did have children, they would be expected to be shinobi and he wouldn’t want that! Ever!” 

For each logical explanation you offered as to why Gaara wouldn’t want children, you sank further and further into despair. You loved him with all your heart, but having children was something really important to you.

“Could I really carry on being in a relationship with him if he never wanted kids?”

While you were busy tying yourself all up in knots over his stance on the subject, the fact had slipped your mind that you had never actually asked him how he felt about it. In truth, you had absolutely no clue where he stood on the matter, and it was a very real possibility that you were dreading an outcome that didn’t even exist!

Gaara was, to many people, a mystery. With his difficult to read expressions, his calm demeanor and to-the-point attitude, he was a perplexing mix of being extremely difficult to gauge and yet simultaneously extremely open with his expectations and ideas. Though throughout your relationship you could pick up and recognize even the most subtle changes in his expression, voice and demeanor with near 100% accuracy, there were still certain things you still needed to ask him about; after all, your ability to notice his tells him didn’t make you a mind reader.

Gaara, though reserved with his emotions, was upfront and honest about his intentions. When he wanted something, he would work hard to obtain it. When he was curious, he would ask questions. If he was upset about something….Well, eventually you could pry that out of him, too. 

Yet when it came to having children, the jury was so far out that they may have well conspired together to skip trial to never be seen or heard from again. He never mentioned his thoughts about the subject, and he never asked you your opinions on the matter, either.

“Did he not think about having kids at all?!” You thought to yourself from where you were sitting next to him on the couch, some months ago. Admittedly you were squinting hard at him, as if straining your eyes could help you peer inside his mind and find the filing cabinet in his brain labeled “whether or not to have children”. 

He turned to look at you.

“Y/N…” He said, his voice was level but the way he trailed off made you realize that there was something important he wanted to say. This made you flustered and you deflated backwards, giving him space.

Could it be that he was the one who had peered into your mind?

“Yeah?” You asked, glancing away quickly trying to play off how intently you had been staring at him just seconds before.

“I wanted to know…” He began and then stopped as he collected his thoughts; a troubled expression overtook his face.

“What is it?” You leaned forward again, but this time out of worry.

“It’s just…well…” Gaara began again and faltered again. He steadied himself, placing his warm hand on top of yours and he gazed into your eyes; eyes that were so soft and full of love, and yet you could see that pain resided in them, too. “I wanted to know if you were upset at me for something.”

The question caught you so off-guard that you let out a small gasp.

“What? Of course not, why would you think that?” You asked frantically, pulling your hand out from under his so that you could place it affectionately on his cheek.

“You have been acting differently lately,” Gaara explained, eyes still darkened, as if he didn’t believe you when you assured him that nothing was wrong. 

You pulled your hand away from his face, but nestled closer to him. “There’s nothing I would be upset at you for,” You said but still Gaara didn’t budge, forcing you to probe deeper. “What have I done to make you think I’m upset with you?”

“You just seem to be acting differently lately,” Gaara asserted again, but this time he opened up with an explanation. “I have noticed it for a while now…that there was something on your mind, but I could never place what it was…” Gaara drifted off and now you could really see the hurt pooling into his seafoam green eyes. “I wondered if maybe you had changed your mind about us.”

“That’s not true at all!” You exclaimed, pushing yourself towards him so forcefully that you were nearly sitting in his lap. Your arms wrapped around him tightly and your face found its way to the crook of his neck; when you felt his arms wrap around you, you began splashing his neck with little kisses.

“I love you very much,” you said, pulling away just enough to meet his gaze.

“I love you, Y/N.” Gaara said as he snaked a hand behind both your knees, pulling you close so that he could cradle you in his strong arms. 

You didn’t complain, and rested your head on his shoulder, one hand reaching out to affectionately caress his cheek. The two of you sat, nourished by each other’s company until Gaara spoke again.

“Then…What is it?” He asked.

“What do you mean?” You were puzzled. The alarm you had felt mere seconds before had completely wiped your mind clear of any previous thought.

“What has been bothering you?”

You moved away from him slightly to stare into his eyes, thinking back to all the interactions you had had with him lately; of course, nothing came to mind. You hadn’t been fighting or arguing, you both had been making ample time for each other; your sex life was active and intimate…

Suddenly it became clear to you and you let out a small giggle. You had to hand it to Gaara, he had always been a shrewd one.

“Nothing about you has been bothering me…but there is something…” You trailed off, seeing your opportunity to finally ask him the question that’s been itching in your brain for months now. “I wanted to ask you, but I guess I’m afraid of the answer.”

“What is it?” Gaara asked patiently.

“Well…it’s not so easy to just come out and ask.” You admitted as you deflated, leaning back away from him. “The trouble is that if you give me the wrong answer, then…Well, then you would have been correct to assume that we couldn’t be together.”

Your heart was beating hard against your ribcage as fear pooled into your navel; yet at the same time, you felt a deep comfort come over you, as if there was a spirit wrapping you in a warm blanket and telling you everything was going to be okay.

“Why?!” Gaara asked, his voice hoarse with pain.

“It’s just…Well…” You thought to explain the complexity of it all, but then you simply just blurted out, “Gaara, do you want to have kids?”

Gaara’s eyes widened in shock and his mouth fell open slightly before he caught himself. He gazed into your eyes, searching into the depth of your soul. It made you flustered - the expression on his face which you could not place - but you held firm.

“I’m relieved…”Was all Gaara said after what felt like years of intensity, but the simplicity of it made you bristle slightly.

“What do you mean?” Your voice came out more cross than you had meant.

“I’m relieved that this has been what has been bothering you,” Gaara said, again quite simply. He let a small, relieved smile come across his face. “I had been worried this whole time that there was something else…Something that meant you didn’t want to be with me anymore.” His smile fell and he lifted a hand to gaze solemnly into his palm. After a heartbeat he said, “I’m glad that’s not the case.”

The tightness in your muscles relaxed and you reached for Gaara’s hand, holding it delicately. You could feel his soft, warm skin in yours and you squeezed. “No, that was never the case,” You reassured him before pausing awkwardly. “But…Gaara…What do you think? I mean about having kids?”

Gaara blinked and looked over at you, his calm demeanor never wavering. “I had never thought of having children on my own, but not that I was against it. I felt perhaps that I would never have the fortune of having a partner, but now that I have you….Well, I think I’d really like to have them.”

Your body moved faster than your mind and suddenly you dove towards Gaara, kissing him clumsily and hard on the lips. Your reaction had surprised him and moved away slightly before he oriented himself and began kissing you back.

Reaching his hands to cradle your face, he pulled away slightly, but you were adamant. “Gaara, I want you to fuck me.”

A deep crimson blush came over his face which you found so adorable, you dove in for another passionate kiss.

“I…” Gaara sputtered, his mind still reeling, abruptly and clunkily switching tracks.

“I want you to fuck me right here on the couch.” You asserted, adjusting yourself so that you were sitting upright. “I want you to fuck me for all you’re worth, I want you to bend me up in knots, I want -”

“Y/N!” Gaara cut in gruffly, the sound of his deep, authoritative voice sending a shiver of excitement through you as if a cold breeze had suddenly passed through the room. Gaara took you by the wrist, his grasp firm which drove you even crazier. He had composed himself now and was staring at you deeply. “I don’t know if I have ever seen you so worked up…” He said, but there was a slight sliver of playfulness in his tone.

“Please Gaara -” You began to beg, but he cut you off with a kiss; the kind that firmly put an end to your inhibitions - not that you had any in that very moment, anyways. You let him push you backwards onto the couch and you spread your legs wide for him so that the two of you could fit together perfectly. He kissed you over and over until it made you dizzy, the hot wetness pooling between your legs.

“Ugn…I just want you to fuck me so bad…” You whispered into his ear.

“I will.”

Gaara’s voice was assured and you turned your head, allowing him access to the sensitive skin on your neck. He began kissing you over and over, all while you squirmed with pleasure and bliss from beneath him. You could feel the bulge in his pants as you pushed your hips forward, desperately grinding against him in the hopes that he would take you right then and there.

Though Gaara was far more reserved than you in that moment, pulling away so that he could help you remove your shirt. You didn’t need any help with your bra, however, for as soon as he had your shirt free from you, you had swifty undone the clasps and thrown the pesky article across the room at lightning speed. 

Gaara’s eyes widened in surprise but he was smiling now, too; the type of rare smile you didn’t get to see often, but that always made you fall in love with him all over again when you saw it. It was just a shame you couldn’t savor it for longer as  your tongue had found its way into his mouth as he once again leaned overtop of you, matching your energy this time as both of your tongues met in intimacy and pleasure.

You felt his wandering hands; how his caress traveled upwards towards your left breast. You felt him squeeze and as he did so, you moaned into his mouth which encouraged him further. Soon your tender nipple was between his fingers, and he began pinching it lightly, gradually applying more pressure until you let out another gasp. Now he couldn’t compose himself, he broke away from kissing you, turning his attention fully towards your breasts. He dove forward, sucking on your nipples so relentlessly that you knew he would be leaving his mark on you. All you could do was surrender to the sensation as butterflies fluttered and danced in your stomach, and more heat built up between your legs.

“Gaara…” You moaned as you tangled your elegant fingers through his thick, red hair. You relished how he moaned back. You loved feeling him moving his hips forward, pressing firmly against your womanhood. 

“If only he would take off his clothes!” You thought impatiently, pushing him away so that you could work at the buttons on his shirt. You didn’t have time for games, you wanted him to enter you so desperately that it almost hurt. You wanted to feel him pulse inside you as he orgasmed, releasing the seed that would give you your baby.

His shirt was off now and you got straight to unbuckling his pants, all while he let you set the pace. He could appreciate the mission you were on so he didn’t interfere by slowing things down, and you could tell by how hard his erection was once you had freed it from the confines of his pants that he didn’t want to wait much longer, either.

Now you were working on his underwear, tugging at the elastic band to free his stiffened member. It looked so swollen that it appeared to you almost uncomfortable, as it twitched impatiently, a bead of precum budding on the tip.

You wrapped a hand around his thick member, but Gaara grabbed you by the wrist again, pinning you back onto the cushions of the couch. When he was confident you would stay there, it was his turn to reveal his prize. He wasted no time, hooking his fingers into your waistband, he rid you of your pants and underwear both, and you opened your legs wide, revealing yourself fully to him.

“You are so beautiful,” He whispered, admiring your naked body with his gentle gaze. His hand was on your shin, slowly working its way upwards until you couldn’t take it any longer. You grabbed him by the arm and pulled him close to you, your tongues dancing together once more.

“Fuck me,” You said simply, and Gaara obliged. 

With one hand, he guided his cock towards your entrance; your heart filling with giddiness as you heard him moan softly at the slick, warm, wetness of your flesh.

Pushing forward, you connected with him, throwing your head back in bliss as the tip of his penis entered you slowly. Gaara leaned forward, his elbows resting on both sides of your head as he let out a pleasured gasp, pushing harder and harder until his full length was inside you.

“Damnit,” He grunted, pressing himself so hard against your entrance that you could feel his balls against your flesh. 

It drove you wild.

You began rocking your hips forwards, your fingers tangling through his hair until they traveled downwards towards his back. You dug your nails into his flesh like an animal, but Gaara didn’t seem to mind. He was giving it to you in hard, passionate strokes until he was making noises you had never heard him make before.

“Oh god!” You cried out as he abruptly hooked his hands around your knees, pushing your legs towards your chest. Now you could feel the tip of his cock rubbing relentlessly against your g-spot, and the sensation made you moan and pant. Better yet, you could feel from this position how deep Gaara could reach inside you, and you begged for him to cum in you.

“Please cum in me, Gaara!” You cried, your own dirty-talk pushing you closer to ecstasy.

“Tell me…” Gaara panted without breaking stride. “Tell me what you want.”

Now your womanhood was pulsing, drawing nearer and nearer to orgasm. You tried grinding against him, desiring him to go faster and harder, but from your vantage point you couldn’t. However, Gaara was observant and he drove his cock into you with such strength and speed you could barely think straight.

“Tell me what you want!” He repeated, demanding this time.

“I want you…” You moaned loudly, “To put a baby in me!”

Gaara fucked you harder and harder, you could tell how close he was, and you would meet him there. You concentrated deeply on the blooming pleasure that was stirring deep inside you, so near that you wanted to chase it. Then something truly sent you over the edge.

“I will put a baby in you.” Gaara growled in your ear, and that was it for you.

Your orgasm was strong. Your legs shook so hard you thought they might permanently turn into jello, and the pleasure was so great that you couldn’t even moan or breathe, you simply just had to endure wave after wave of bliss as your womanhood tightened and spasmed around Gaara’s thick, hot cock.

Gaara himself was close behind you. You felt him pushing deeper and deeper into you; so deep that it nearly made you wince as the head of his cock pressed up against your cervix. Then you felt as his cock began pulsating, joining you in orgasm, as ropes upon ropes of his cum filled you up, pooling against the entrance to your womb. You swore that sensation alone extended your orgasm for so long you could barely take it.

Gaara collapsed on top of you, panting hard. You could feel his penis softening inside you, but he was in no rush to withdrawal from you. With your legs still pinned upwards, the two of you caught your breath before kissing affectionately.

“I suppose we’ll have to do this more often,” Gaara said, his lewdness taking you by surprise - if you could even call that statement lewd. 

“As many times as we can both handle,” You replied with a big smile. You took him by the face and kissed him again, taking your time to pull away. However, it seemed that this stirred something inside Gaara, as you could feel his cock waking up, stiffening once more inside of you.

“Again?” You asked, your grin still big and bright.

Gaara let out a sheepish scoff but his answer came as he pushed into you more deeply again. His lips met yours, but in a less hurried manor this time. This time, it was slower, more attentive. 

This time it was lovemaking. 

***

The three minutes were up and you snatched the pregnancy test from the counter, casting a quick glance at the result window to receive your highly anticipated answer.

Positive.

Just then, you heard Gaara coming down the hallway, and you flung open the door and dove into his arms. He caught you, receiving your celebratory kisses without much question.

“I’m pregnant!” You announced with joyful tears in your eyes.

Gaara’s eyes widened and a big, genuine smile warmed his face; his eyes softened as he held you in your arms. “Y/N…” He said breathlessly, “I’m so happy. Congratulations.”

You kissed him again, your embrace long and intimate as the two of you relished the exciting news together. 

“Your baby is inside me,” You said softly in his ear as he held you close. You weren’t sure what to expect from this comment, but the sudden poke you felt from his groin was a pleasant surprise.

“Does that excite you?” You asked, teasing him slightly.

Gaara turned his head away slightly out of embarrassment. “Yes…it does…”

Now you felt it too, and your hand strayed downwards, cupping his bulge. He tensed up at this, but gazed yearningly into your eyes.

“What do you say we go for celebratory dinner?” You asked with a spark in your eye. “But before we do that…What do you say we have some celebratory sex?”

With that Gaara scooped you up into his strong, unwavering arms and carried you to the bedroom. Little did you both know that by the time that you were finished with each other, all the restaurants would have been closed for the night.

This was okay, though. The celebration could always wait until tomorrow. 

[unknownfortuna]

Your Dad

The Sun is an indicator of how the native views their Father. Below is a list of negative/positives you may have seen play out with your father figure.

*If you have these signs in your 10th House, these traits may manifest as well.*

Aries Sun- Quick tempered and most likely a physical disciplinarian. Due to Aries enjoying the sun, the manifestations can be incredibly bad/good. Your dad may have seemed a bit selfish at times when it came to him living an independent life from the family he created. He may have been seen as a leader in his family or the first to do something. This placement could also indicate he wasn't the type of person to do things half assed (unfinished projects? Sure) and he expected you to do things just as passionately if not better than others.

Taurus Sun- Beauty is important. Beauty is the first thing people see. That is what he placed a heavy emphasis on when it came to you. If your appearance was off, he would let you know (He may also carry incredibly traditional values when it comes to gender roles). Appearances matter and he would have wanted nothing more than for you to express the pretty privilege you had. As superficial as the relationship may seem at times with him, this is a fact you start to realize is true with others as well.

Gemini Sun- You may view your dad as incredibly charismatic but also superficial and a bit of a liar. Another trait that may play out is knowing multiple languages and being able to switch between them with ease. The relationship here may feel like there isn't much substance between the two of you. Conversations carry a jolly tone that doesn't always feel appropriate for what's actually going on between you two or the circumstances you're in.

Cancer Sun- Your dad is incredibly emotional. It seems a bit random when he starts to cry but then again, your also not surprised. He takes his role as the protector the family very seriously and wants nothing more than your emotional wellbeing to be at a high (if he's able to understand his own and provide that to others of course!). Mood swings may be a normal when it comes to him...which makes him a bit of a grump at times.

Leo Sun- Your dad truly views himself as the king of the house. This can obviously be either incredibly annoying (is more selfish, cares about appearances, huge ego) or a bit endearing (a motivational coach, knows how to boost you up, shares the spotlight with you). Having Leo in its home planet is an incredibly strong placement and may cause him to play a huge role in your life/upbringing. It may have even felt like he was your only true caretaker at times.

Virgo Sun- The perfectionism your dad holds within him can feel a bit daunting. While he may be quiet at times you know that is just him observing and critiquing in his mind. He sees details you would have never noticed before and points them out. You can't help but hold a similar serious tone and being highly critical with yourself. After all, your dad was the first to point out these flaws. On the flip side his humor can be a bit...Childish? I feel like Virgos themselves have a specific sense of humor and you may or may not get it but it's there. Libra Sun- Your relationship can feel a bit superficial with this placement. Libra is not at home here and above all it is just trying to please the people that come across this placement. A similar view you may have with your dad. He is able to be the mediator and negotiator with others BUT at the cost of his own individuality. He may place an emphasis on what other's opinions are especially with family. He may not be the dominant parent but for appearance's sake that's what is shown.

Scorpio Sun- This placement can indicate secrets surrounding your dad or over time you start to realize your perception of him is crumbling from the one you entered with. May have viewed him as manipulative or controlling when it came to your family members. Could cause an environment to change into an intense one. Held a lot of power in his hands when it came to the way everyone moved. There is a secret only you may know of him/found out before anyone else. Not necessarily because he himself trusted you but you happened to stumble upon it (just like everything else in your life). Sagittarius Sun- In some ways this relationship felt more like a mentor/mentee than a father/daughter. He was incredibly knowledgeable and tried to tell you all he knew about the world and how things worked. Whether it was agriculture or mechanics, he tried teaching you his trade. Unfortunately, he may have not been a stable figure in your life and at times would be absent or physically unavailable. Emotional circumstances felt odd with him and talking about actual feelings didn't ever seem like a viable option.

Capricorn Sun- A workaholic can manifest with this placement. He may have been the sole provider of the family and carried a heavy presence when he was home. Having him around may have possibly caused you to feel as though you were walking on egg shells. Also... did he give you random responsibilities when it seemed like you had too much fun? Like you were smiling a little TOO much? Probably can't ever say your bored around him. He can possibly carry a melancholic prescence around him as well.

Aquarius Sun- The confusion here is your dad is too hard to understand sometimes. Borderline hypocritical. Can enjoy humanitarian values without ever having the compassion balanced with it. It would be good if you could contribute to society...Without me showing you how to deal with your emotions. He can come across as alien like in many ways due to his opposing views. Keeps himself busy tinkering around with his hobby of choice. May come off as detached and in his own head or enjoying others company more than your own family. Can have some odd tastes...possibly with partners? (You may be a child of divorce/just straight up cheating). It doesn't get better with age... You just accept the enigma this man is.

Pisces Sun- You may have an absent dad. That can be taken in many ways both due to circumstances of life or him choosing to be absent. This can be a hint at him being an artist of some kind like writing, singing, poetry, painting, etc. He may be highly spiritual/religious and a big believer in life happening for reasons we may never know. Always gives this type of answer when asking for advice from him. While there may be a connection here, it can feel a bit fragile. As if anyone or anything can break the relationship you have with him (prone to misunderstandings on both sides).

'You can't go back and change the beginning, but you can start wherever you are and change the ending..'

[abby118]

I wanted your opinion on reading Thor's body language on Loki, with the touch of his hand on his neck. I have seen that when the touch is made on the back of the neck (Thor does it slightly more laterally) it is said to mean: I control and tame, the one who touches establishes himself as a guide, often influencing the choices and opinions of others. therefore it does not have a necessarily negative meaning, but it is not exactly a gesture that indicates closeness, friendship or reassurance. in fact it seems to mirror the dynamic we see between thor and loki. what do you think?

Thor is definitely more expressive and specifically more reactive than Loki and that partially comes down to his personality as well as the environment and position he was raised in.

People often wonder about the neck touching and to that I say, what do you do when you're an expressive person that conveys their emotions through touch? You touch someone and you do so in a way that they can notice and feel.

Loki is heavily armoured, as are the majority of Asgard's men (now, we won't count Thor here because he hates wearing his sleeves but generally, he would belong to this category as well). If you touch someone who's wearing layers of leather, fabric, metal and whatever materials make up the armour, they will not feel a thing. That is why he goes for the only spot that's not covered - as the fandom used to call it back in the day, 'the infamous Asgardian "insert blade here" neckline'.

But of course, that is not all, it's never that simple. I assume you mean the scene in The Avengers when they first meet on Midgard so I will talk about that one first.

In this particular instance, I did not read it as anything other than Thor trying desperately to make a point whilst lacking the emotional ability to do so in a way that Loki needed. He's the kind of person that tries to solve the problem first and deal with the aftermant and the emotions later. Hence, why the first thing he said to his brother after not having seen him for a year after his attempted suicide was a question about the tesseract's location. I would argue this doesn't mean Thor did not care; I think he really did but he didn't know how to show it + there was a problem that needed a solution first.

Thor and Loki's personalities are polar opposites; Loki is the strategist, he's perceptive and does have the emotional intelligence Thor lacks. Thor, on the other hand, acts before anything else, he deals with the consequences later, he is not the most observant and he hides behind this cheery mask that is supposed to conceal any signs of vulnerability because in Asgard, that is seen as a major weakness. I'm not even sure he, himself, knows it's a mask; we do see both of them repressing emotions which again, is a result of their world's culture with the added pressure of their position as Asgard's heirs.

So yes, I think he tried to show Loki he wanted him back and that he cared but he completely screwed it up with the way he went about it. I do not blame Loki for how he responded to that in the situation and circumstances he was in.

+ it was very much also a 'I see you‚ look at me‚ I see you' because Thor never looked at him before. He took his presence for granted.

However, fast foreward to Thor The Dark World, we see a clearer display of how Thor's frustration manifests which tends to be aggression and similar to what you're getting at. He is impulsive and has problems dealing with his anger which we already saw in the previous movies. This all culminated in the interaction on the skiff in Svartalfheim but before that, he broke Loki out of prison.

Obviously, he was trying to convince himself (and Loki) that he did not care about him anymore and that his plan was unrelated to their relation. Deep down, both of them knew that was not true but that's a different topic.

When he broke him out and Loki was having his annoying younger sibling moment, Thor shut him up by covering his mouth and slamming him onto the pillar to avoid the two Einherjar seeing them. Some might argue that was normal because he needed him to be quiet fast but I say that was him finding an opportunity to release his frustration with Loki and their relationship in general.

This has been brought up before, but that moment almost looked like kidnapping which, in a way, it was. Loki did agree to go but he was still a prisoner and essentially threatened.

But then again, it is almost childish and reminiscent of an exaggerated version of their relationship. I won't repeat any more of the points on this but I recomment you read this because I agree with some of the things stated here. (screenshotting in case the link breaks)

[caeslxys]

I am SO fascinated to get your take on BH's reaction to Ludinus and Downfall.

*****SPOILERS FOR 102 BELOW*****

As someone who left Downfall with a very negative view of the gods, it's interesting to me that BHs (in particular Imogen) kept saying "but you're just like them" about Ludinus and then not realizing that she was saying that the gods are no better than Ludinus fucking Da'Leth. Yeah, Luda is a hyprocrite. Do you realize that the gods are no better? The GODS.

And BHs comparing themselves to the primes/betrayers as this "fucked-up family" completely ignores the power differential. "They're just little guys! We all make mistakes" but you're saying that about entities that can literally sling 9th levels every 6 seconds without using any resources.

Nothing that can feel and be motivated by loss, rage, fear, and revenge should have that much power. Respectfully.

Sorry this took me so long to answer! I’ve been letting my own thoughts simmer and rewatching the episode in pieces to grasp the Many Many different things that happened on my own because it was Quite A Lot and some of it (the delilah of it all, funnily enough) left me immediately with an overall sense of disappointment that I wanted to sift through before talking Thoughts so that I could determine analysis from bias lol. BUT. I DO HAVE THOUGHTS

Long answer under the read more, but tldr: Apart from Orym, Ashton, and Dorian (simultaneously the most and least surprising!) I don’t think we’ve gotten the full breadth of BH’s opinions at all. In part because this a topic of discussion that requires them actually, well, discussing it to form fully rounded opinions on but also, crucially, because they were expressing opinions and emotions in front of Ludinus. This is important, because Orym/Ashton/Dorian make the most sense to have no reason for holding their true thoughts back in front of either him or the party (obviously in Orym and Ashton’s case, but I’ll be honest in not considering what is now obvious—Dorian has no idea who this guy actually is! Of course he wasn’t opposed to raising his perspective!), whereas other characters—namely Imogen—have many more internal steps and hurdles to actually reaching a conclusion that must happen outside of Ludinus’ eye.

Alright. Long version.

I think it truly speaks to the characters that the ones who reacted the most immediately decisive were Orym—the one whose opinions wouldn’t have changed regardless of what was held within that orb (which. sigh)—Ashton—the punk, anti-authoritarian character who has had an established perspective of the gods and their power for quite some time, perspectives that were in many ways cemented in viewing this piece of history rather than dispelled—and Dorian—someone who, as mentioned earlier, has the least amount of context for who Ludinus is, but who also himself was raised in a comparatively high position of social power so as to understand exactly what Ludinus is saying about the gods’ misusing theirs.

And, of course, Imogen. I’ll admit: I was immediately shocked at her response, but in hindsight of course she responded the way she did. I have talked and gushed and wailed before at how deeply empathetic Imogen is, and how it is also her ultimate fatal flaw (demonstrated explicitly here), so of course her first thought was how she saw the feelings and motives behind the decisions made in downfall and not how it was also an extreme over-reach of power and influence. Of course she did. I think the only person she’s incapable of empathizing with is Delilah lmao.

And to that point: A lot of that seemed, on a rewatch and to me, posturing on her part. So much of Imogen is defined by her guilt and shame and self-loathing and its especially prevalent when she is playing leader—a role she is naturally very good at, but doubts constantly because she does not consider herself “good”. So, often, she does what she thinks others perceive as “good” and “right” and keeps her more complex thoughts to herself until she is in a safe space (often with Laudna), and projects who she thinks others need her to be in the moment.

Laudna, in the same vein, also shocked me that she didn’t push the breach of power here. But, again, she is also right next to Imogen in “bells hells characters most driven by/capable of empathy” (though hers is, unlike Imogen’s, often in conflict with her desires in really compelling ways) so on further reflection—and especially taking into consideration the massive amount of shame she is feeling from swordgate—of course she focused on the empathetic side of it all.

Ultimately we didn’t get much time at all for them to actually discuss and dissect their take-aways on all of downfall in a setting and context that would be free of bias and performance. If i’m honest, I think those conversations need to happen individually instead of in a group, though maybe Dorian’s inclusion and obvious clear decision on his stance being more in line with Ludinus’ may just be enough for Orym alone not to break the conversational thread again with his personal grief (and guilt, but that’s another post lol). I think their real opinions have yet to solidify even for themselves, and we’ll see them truly form in the coming episodes. The Delilah of it all notwithstanding.

Speaking of Orym’s refusal to think about anything—I think he and Imogen both are suffering from Predathos tunnel vision. Honestly I’d argue a good portion of fandom is as well. None of that conversation is ultimately about Predathos, it was about the gods and the role they play and the power they use or over-use or deserve. By focusing so intently on what we all already agree is the wrong and bad solution to this problem, we ignore the problem entirely. It’s one of my main issues with Orym’s stance this whole campaign. If we don’t ask what is to be done with the gods, and the campaign just wraps up with “we defeated the bad guys, yay!” well. What of the ruidusborn, who we know are treated unfairly and unkindly and who suffer through no fault of their own. What of the young vanguard members—the kids—who, also, are only guilty of caving to the idea of peace. What of Aeor, what of Ludinus—what of the cycle that birthed them both. To not engage with the questions being asked for hyperfixating on the Predathos of it all is to leave this campaign, in my opinion, on both a deeply unsatisfying but also deeply hopeless note. The cycle will continue. We may not see it—it may be another thousand, two thousand years before another Ludinus rises—but another Ludinus or Aeor or both will rise, because ultimately no change will have been implemented in the problems which resulted in them.

And—final note, promise—I was talking to a friend about this yesterday but when it comes down to acknowledging the societal implications of downfall, especially in Imogen’s case, I do think it’s going to have to be pointed out first. A lot of Bells Hells are characters who have suffered at the very hands they are trying to save, but also suffered in part and specifically due to a lack of access to knowledge about it all. It does not escape me that the very first scene of campaign three is Imogen attempting to gather knowledge on powers that have made her miserable for a decade and being unable to access them in a library due to her station. That is, to me, more and more becoming the underpinning theme of this campaign—especially as all Ludinus is doing in this moment with the Occultus Thalamus is displaying it; again, obviously Ludinus is wrong in his means (and arrogant in his assumptions that just because of his failures that no one else could find a solution) but this, specifically, the spreading of knowledge—that, I 100% find myself in agreeance with. So it’s not that they won’t understand what characters like Ashton and Dorian, both hyperaware of the implications of power here, are or will be saying. It’s that they literally do not know to think about it like that. Why would they. It has been intentionally kept from them.

Anyway I have no idea if that was uh. Sufficient Enough of an answer adksfjd at some point I just started yapping but! I’m intrigued, especially because of Dorian’s adamant belief, in what conclusions they’ll draw moving forward as the discussions truly begin! Hopefully! Hopefully they will discuss it!

[callmesel]

Not sure if you wanted to play or not

if you don't feel free to delete

but got any thoughts you want to share on Percy?

any unpopular opinions?

Any ships you'd like to see more of?

I have some thoughts but they are all so random that there is no way to categorize it so it is going to be just me yapping

Percy is a theatre kid. I have a headcanon that Hogwarts has a theatre club somewhere and he has being going there since first year. It was just for extra credit and then he found that he actually enjoys it and he is really good at it. That poker face had to came from somewhere. But he stop after the become prefect but there are some times that he had directed the plays because prefect duties and he is really happy to help. Bill was one of the prefects who help him when he was part of the cast so he feels nostalgic whenever is his turn.

Kind of realated to the last one, he knows how to play the piano and the violin. Tbh, any of the strings suits him in my mind. I want to think that aunt Muriel made all the Weasley kids go in a full manners and etiquette course and playing the violin because the piano is too easy and your kids need something to make them stand out from the rest was part of it. But the only one that took it seriusly was Percy, I think Ron is also able to play is but he was lazy and bored by it as a child, buit he is pretty good at it. Not saying that he is good at it, he is mediocre at best but he knows how to play. What he can paly really well is the piano. He has long fingers and a delicate hands so I think he would be great playing soff symphonies or ones that required to move you hand around the keys. Having long fingers is really useful if you don't have a really big hand so I think it would be easier for him to reach the keys in the cornerrs.

I want to think that he was a bug and insects kid, but not like the ones that goes around looking for them, no, that is Charlie. He just watches them. Like, Charlie gets the bugs and he just puts them in a jar and Percy is just there watching over them. They do that with every animal Charlie finds, half of the time is both of them watching over the animal, the other half is Percy taking it as his and only his so now is Bill thing to make sure that they don't have and infestation of ants in a week. That is how they got Scrables.

He likes laying over Oliver's thighs sometimes. It's just in some special ocations and when he is feeling really tired or they are alone in their room he does it but then he is kind of embarassed because of the position. Oliver has told him multiples times that he is okay with it and that there is no issue, and Oliver himself has done the same with Percy but he is just kind of ashame. This might be a bit of projecting but when I'm aware of how I'm actually position or how I look in set position I become really selfaware and it's really unconfortable and I feel that Percy would have the same problem. He is aware of everything that his body is doing and when he isn't he then questions himself. It isn't always negative but most of the time it is.

He does journaling. He owns like a hundred notebooks from all the years he has being journaling. It's more of a common place book if you know what I mean, but it's really organised and colour coded. He has a colour scheme depending of the topic, the feeling and how is expressed. Even though it's really organised, you can't really understand his thought process because it jumps from a topic to another. And the colours and notes, because he sometimes goes back on what he has written to comment on it an reflect on it, are kind of distracting you from the actual reading.

He has a library somewhere in his house. I don't think his collection is small but if its, it doesn't matter because it's also categorise in the following way: muggle author or magical author, genre of the book,with a tier list, top shelf is a 5 star book and the lowest shelfs are the one stars, and arranged in an alphabetical order according to their title and not author. He doesn't really care about the author except if he really likes them. If he does, he has a special shelf for them and their books.

He doesn't really like bubble tea that much but he drinks it when Penny buys him some because he is not going to make her feel that she has waisted her money and she looks so happy to gave the new flavour that she discovered in a near shop that he can't just say no. And sometimes he actually likes it and tells Penny, which makes her happier.

He had a crush on one of Charlie teammates who was really friendly with him once and when Charlie found out he went crazy and told his teammate to back off and let his little brother alone. It was just onesided and like a puppy love than anything else but Charlie is Charlie and didn't think before saying dumb shit. Now he jokes about it and Bill is like "bro". But Bill is not better, when he found out the also went crazy and was like "TEN FEET APART PEOPLE". They just didn't know how to deal with their little bother having a crush because in their mind he was still a baby like all the other siblings. It's more of the age gab they have, because Bill and Charlie are like just one or two years and with Percy is like 4 and 7 so it's a big distance, specially in their teenage years.

He likes having his head stroked, it reminds him when his mother use to do that to calm him down during the war and it just calming in general. It's better because when he is cuddling with Penny or Oliver, they just do that without thinking and he really likes it. Has he told anyone about it? No. Would he tell anyone? No. But he is happy with them.

There is a spot in his back that is you press it he will bend. It's a reflex he has but doesn't really know why. Fred and George has used it to mess with him and they always get screamed after but its worth it. Ginny has done it too, specially when he isn't listening to her and she thinks it's really urgent so she press his back and he just flips. She doesn't get screamed because she is Ginny.

He has two favourite siblings, Ginny and Charlie. I don't think I have to elaborate.

He has read fanfiction about polititians before, and his hogwarts teacher. Penny writes them and sometimes Percy will asked Penny for an expecific trope from some characters of a book because he can't write it himself. Penny is thrilled whenever this happens and sometimes things excalated and they end up planing a full novela about how Lockhart is in love with Snape but Snape is rejecting him because he is in a toxic relationship with Mcgonagall, where she was cheating on him with Pomfrey . There was this one ocation that Flitwick heard them and ask Mcgonagall if she had anything to tell him something and Mcgonagall was like "wot?"

And also about the ships, I shipped him with Snape back in 2021 but it was because of this one fic that it was super good for my standars. I cried a lot. Like it had destroyed me when I read it but I re read it a few months back and it was a bit disturbing, and more if I was reading it when I was 13. It's called Tacenda and it was really good depicting their relationship and how fucked up it was, specially because it started when Percy was still and student and he was like 15/16 but you still wanted to root for them. Or at least that is how I remember it. I really liked fucked up dynamics that can easily end up as an abused relationship. Now I can read anything that isn't fluff because it makes me anxious. I also remember that it has just been finished but it took me a month to finish it.

Sometimes I wish to be able to read stuff like that without a care in the world but with that bitter after taste.

I think that is all for now, i can't really think properly lately so if there is a lot of typos or incoherence, i'm sorry

Thanks for asking because I would have never really posted anything similar :D