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sevs-corner · 4 days ago

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Tf 141: Mafia AU!

Chapter 2: Jobless? More like Job-bless

A/N: Link to prev ch + mini epilogue of the chap (where it goes to another character’s pov aside from the reader :DD) :

Preface:

After the mess of a morning, you instantly got roped into the orderly chaos of the bakery. Under a contract (a list of chores really) you are now tied to the place Nonna and Nonno calls home.

Although, you soon come to learn that it is the home of other certain individuals as well.

With a groan, you wonder how many things are left on the chore list posted on the to-do board, pinned with all sorts of menus, post-it notes, old recipes, and photos of people you don’t really care to know or recognize; although, you were curious of who that one handsome man was.

Which you kept at the back of your mind to ask Nonna during your break later.

For now, you had to focus up and sort this damn mountain of trash.

You even got scolded by the trash guy for having mixed the recyclables and non-recyclables! You pouted, mumbling that it wasn’t your fault but the old couple who ran this place— yet all he did was wave you off, saying that he’d make an exception and come by tomorrow, ‘as long as the trash is sorted.’

To be honest, you’d rather sort him to the non-recyclables pile.

Rancid- the whole lot of it was! You couldn’t believe it got stocked up until the second floor of the building… but you kinda have to wonder if they threw it from below with an underhand throw or dropped from the room you were currently in.

The latter seems more plausible.

Until you saw Nonna, spin and accurately place another bag on top- winking at your gaping form, knees bent with your elbows resting on it exhaustion.

“Is that nasty sickness gone?” She asks, arms folded on her chest as she leans by the doorway.

“I think I got another type of nasty sickness,” you raised your arms and showed the dirty yellow rubber gloves and apron covered in grime.

She laughs and nods, “well better get to finishin’! Else, you wouldn’t make it to the lunchtime rush.”

“Is that part of the list too?” You asked, stunned, you were very sure that was on there until Nonna waved you in. Pointing at the pin board by the doorway.

You slightly let yourself, making sure none of the guck got in the place you just cleaned. Bending and craning your neck upward, you gasp at how the checklist just became double its size from before, a stapler at both ends of the first one connecting to the next.

You quickly turn your head, tone accusatory- “you added onto it!”

“There’s a lot to do,” she shrugs, “didn’t quite give you the full list.”

She points to the first saying how that was Nonno’s list while the next was made by her. You pouted, finding it unfair- knowing how it wouldn’t be completed in a day, actually more than a week no less!

“How am I supposed to help you guys tomorrow if I can’t find my place today?”

She hums, tapping her chin before snapping her fingers and roughly pinching your puffed out cheeks.

“You stay upstairs with us, of course!”

“WHAT?”

You reflexively scream reacted, falling to your dramatically as your hands catch your upper body before it fell into the door way face first.

“Not a bad deal, right dearie?”

“Rightly so, dear wifey!”

You could hear the old couple tease you (with the old man coming in to see what the racket was that disturbed him from his cooking routine, only to see his wife amusing herself once more with the new kid she “adopted” (nonna’s words not his)) making you feel even more depressed, wondering what made you think it was a good idea in the first place to sign up to this deal.

You wanted info- and they needed a helper. The end.

You should have read the Terms and Conditions really. (The non existent one aka, reading between the lines and the vibe of the couple.)

Alas, you accepted your fate, resigning to it really as you stood up, looking at the list before retuning to the trash area, where the old couples kisses and giggles were still echoing by the back door way. A reality slapping reminder of what you needed to get back to immediately.

Kneeling by the pile you left, you spot a cat- a strangely pristine white one with bright blue eyes. It looked a bit fancy to be wandering around this part so you checked its neck for a collar yet there was none.

Humming to yourself, you called to it softly as you removed your stickily sweat gloves.

The cat, as if heeding your call, comes closers to your whispers of encouragement and ultimately sits before you meowing and nudging its head towards you.

“Aww!” You gleamed, immediately petting it with your finger tips, but melt even more as it long and fluffy tail wrapped around your fingers- as if urging you to continue your pampering.

“You’re such a cutie! Aren’t ‘cha?” You continue cooing at it, and with how immediately comfortably attached the cat was with you- you decided to try and carry it by opening your arms.

The cat crawls pause, sensing your pets has stopped and stares at you.

You stare it back.

Like a lightbulb popping up, the cat meows and stand up, crawling closer and…

“Now who the hell is there?”

You and the cat screech, both jumping in the air.

Although the difference between the two of you was one landed on their ass while the other ran away.

Unceremoniously once again.

You heaved, looking at the man intimidatingly making himself known by the entrance of the alleyway to the back door of the bakery, smoke in hand while the other was on his side- a holster you assume as you see something gleam below the morning light.

You noticed that he wore a suit quite similar to the men you met last night. Although this time, it was dark navy blue in color with a heavy coat on top, and brown shoes that seemed quite shinier that the jewels he wore on his fingers.

As you picked apart his outfit, he came in closer, noticing how you shivered at his presence (you weren’t it was just cold and he surprised the beejeebus out of you.)

So he stopped a bit aways away, five feet apart to be safe of the unexpected accusation that might come along by strangers at the street side.

“Got any business with this place?”

“Huh?” You look up at him, finally looking at his- less irritated, more confused than anything- face. His slicked back blonde hair made his eye brow raise and forehead creases even more noticeable as he tossed to you his questionable stare.

“Oh, uh yeah- I do.”

He nods, “right.”

You deadpanned, with you not believing him and him not believing your words— you decided to start the conversation again by standing and introducing yourself.

“I’m Graves,” he does the same, and stuff his hands in his pocket, offering a nod and grin.

“Like…” you paused, “the tombstone?”

He deadpans this time and sighs, shaking his head.

“You... you can put it that way,” he waves his hand, “but what’s your business here anyway, shortstack?”

You grumble to yourself about his nickname but placed in the back burner for later, where you would also burn him- but that’s a plan in the making.

“Why do you need to know?” You reply, a bit apprehensive of his prying. It’s not like he lived here- as far as you know.

…Maybe he was going to hustle you for messing with his favorite smoking spot?!

“Oh!” You turn to him, making his mouth clamp shut. “This might have been your smoking spot right? My bad.”

You bowed your head in a slight bow when apologizing, “its just that the owners of the bakery told me to clean up here,” you pointed to the pile of dump on the trashcan, “but as you can see, its taking me some time.”

He laughs, finally connecting the dots in his head and figuring who you were.

“Those old hags giving you trouble?”

Suddenly his arm was on your shoulder, slinging you forward and into his space which made you slightly flinch away, half uncomfortable and the other half making you hope wouldn't dirty his- clearly expensive- suit then blame it on you and pay for cleaning or worse... replace it.

Yeah, you didn't want to think about that.

So, you shook your but deeply sigh anyways, "it's all good."

You didn't know why but you wanted to reassure the stranger. In hope of getting him off your case? Maybe so- but it was more likely that his suit quite stank from the smell of cigs and alcohol, but with the mix of his- high end- cologne- it was just a smell that spelled disaster for your senses.

"Really now?" Unconvinced he was again but at this point, why did you continue to care?

So you huffed, sliding out of his grasp- surprisingly easily- and went by the back door, arms crossed just like a certain someone had done moments ago.

"Really," you rolled your eyes, "but its up to you to believe it or not."

Graves' eyes sparkled, smirk widening as he sniffs out a challenge- a challenge to his authority.

He scoffs out an amused chuckle as he sees you stomp back into the bakery in a huff, clearly cutting short your interaction with him and the conversation.

A conversation he quite wanted to continue.

So he follows, interest now piqued, wondering if you were a new face in town or simply a fleeting face he'd forget in a momentary notice. Whatever it was, he wanted to know.

His gut feeling says he has to--

it hasn't proven him wrong after all.

Entering the warm bakery as compared the cold breeze the outside gave made you shiver, hoping your body would better quickly adapt to the temperature change.

Quickly hanging your apron, you called out to the two that you came back for the lunch rush, all the while washing your hands in the kitchen's sink.

Whistling a tune, you think back to the words of Nonna earlier, having said that you would have to stay here until you get the end of your bargain. At least, that was what you think she meant until the list is done and dealt with.

Your actions slow as you think of an alternative-- you could text your co-worker and ask them right now, but that was embarrassing to think of doing. They gave simple instructions of how to get at the place, yet you somehow got lost and stumbled upon so much more people than you think you would have before coming into this reputable city.

To be honest to yourself for a moment, you didn't want to admit it to them not because of embarrassment- but because of how you felt ashamed of yourself. You didn't like having yourself in this position, squandering away for any penny you can make, scraping by with each paycheck, and most of all, for being so stupid that you can't even repay the kindness your co-worker has shown you. It felt like a waste, that you weren't using it right now-- staying at their place and slowly making it up to them by paying back every single money they spent to pay for rent, utilities, and food that they provided.

So you resolved yourself, slapping your face with the washed hands to wake yourself up from the quite long (short) introspection of your situation right now.

You did owe Nonna and Nonno for staying here, but for the boss of Soup? No... Suds-? Anyways, you had to repay that guy's boss as well for the lodging last night.

Maybe you can rearrange the agreement with the couple to provide- at least- the minimum of minimum wages so you wouldn't be just free labor for their amusement.

Despite thinking that they really might need some help, looking around at the state of place.

"Seems like you washed your hands extra clean."

You hear a sip behind you, jumping once more as you naturally glared at the person that spooked you.

"Could you like," you waved your hands around trying to find words, "not spook me every time you appear-- are you the boogeyman incarnate or something?"

This man in front of you, as formal as he looks, just breaks into cackles.

Downright fits of laughter that continuously bubble out of him.

Wheezing and all that-- but you wait, staring at him strangely and for him to catch his breath.

After a couple minutes pass and he doesn't, even leaning against the doorway as he covers his face (which was bright red) in attempt to limit his giggles, you sigh and untangle your arms. Pushing yourself off the sink and moving him aside so you could start the lunch shift.

"Wa-wait!"

You hear the man wheeze out and in frustration, you grumble out a- "what?"

"I- I was only ask-asking about you earlier bec-because--"

"because he's la famiglia, cara!"

You turn to the sudden pop of Nonna at your side, looking at her in question, "what do you mean-?"

"He-!" She quickly slaps his back to cough out his remaining laughter, "is one of my sons!"

"Son?" you ask, head tilting as you think back to that photo on the board. You turn to the board, checking if you were right-- and it was as if fate checked mate you as your eyes locked onto the boy at the far right side of the one completed family picture (you assumed) which had a lot of members.

'Blonde and blue eyes...'

The man, who has just been a disaster a couple of minutes ago, had now regain his composure and grinned at you as if it didn't look like he was losing his balls earlier.

"That's why I was concerned shortcake," he wraps his arm around Nonna (who just snuggles into him), "'cause I'm her son."

'Oof. '

Well, now that you know that they were all their (adopted) children in that picture, you find yourself more at ease in Graves' presence as Nonna chats to him about what happened ever since you showed up, with him humming and commenting from time to time.

As they sat at the side, you continued to do your job, managing the register and the back of the house- sending orders in and plates out.

You did it so much that by the time another table came, you were in auto pilot, customer service mode.

"Hello and welcome! What can I get for y'all started with--"

"Well, aren't you worse for wear."

Hearing that out of place comment made you snap out of your stupor, finally taking in the faces before you.

"The guys from last night!" You gasp, "and Suds' boss!" you glanced at the man with a beard and you could see him smile and nod, reaffirming who he was.

"Yes, that's me-"

Yet he gets cut by the rounding laughter of the table, making you confused, muttered a small, "what?"

"Suds--" The kind man from the other night manages out before falling into another fit of wheezing.

"His name ain't Suds, darlin'," the guy with a rough, scratchy voice talks and you now see that he was wearing a skull mask on the upper part of his face, then a black clothe covering his lower half.

"It's not?"

The man in question groans out, "its Soap you nest-head!"

You clicked your tongue, "Now I'm less inclined to call you that, Suds."

Now even Price chuckles at this exchange, making 'Grickky' looking at him in shock.

"Did you sleep well?"

Price redirects the conversation and you turn to him with a smile and nod, "thank to you sir."

You politely bowed your head and told him how you were gonna pay him back for it, but he just shakes his head- telling that you "shouldn't worry your pretty lil' head over a lil' cash."

"But its not a little amount!" You protested and they looked at you in shock. Thinking that you would just accept it and be done with it.

"I know better than anyone how both kindness and money is precious, so I'll work to pay you back sir."

The determination flaming in your eyes makes them quite stunned at the moment before Price just chuckles, "do as you wish." He says in contentment of the moment, and he was quite satisfied from how you reacted- bubbling and smiling as if you weren't laying sick mere hours ago when they last saw you.

"Cara!"

You hear Nonna call for you and you pause, asking for the four to wait a moment while you walk to see what Nonna needed until you see her approaching in excitement.

"Nonna-?"

"Oh my gosh!" She squeals into your arms, "I can't believe you're meeting all my boys today!"

"Your...boys?"

You stare at her for a moment before redirecting it to the sheepish four who sat there.

Welp... now your proclamations sounds a little awkward...

There was no way she would let her own son pay for lodging at his parent's place.

Even though you've only known Nonna for a couple hours, you were quite sure. A conclusion which made you throw your head back in embarrassment once again.

"just how many sons do you have?!"

A/N: Long chapter for the 2nd one because I got inspired! And also for the warm reception and the attention my silly lil AU for Tf 141 is getting hehe so thank yall <33 Cheers to more chapters to come !!

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veninorchid · 5 months ago

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Bridgerton S3 Review

Dearest gentle reader, I am disappointed, sadly.

And as I respect your opinion, so too, shall you respect mine. I'm not here to bash on #Polin fans and the fact that they enjoyed it, but what -was- season 3 of Bridgerton truly?

I love the Mondriches, but do they really need so much screen-time? What did their own ball add to the story exactly? Had the same feeling about the Dankworth-Finch ball at the end, but at least that one proved its necessity as -the reveal all- ball. Because there was of course no Duke of Hastings (Simon) to host it, so they improvised.

This season had too many stories going on at the same time which were all fighting for the spotlight when it should've focused on #Polin, cause that is what was advertised/hyped. It did not deliver…

Season 1 - Daphne and Simon They had the most screen-time and all other stories got a little bit of shine. But even then some of those had either Daphne or Simon in the picture/background. (Marina-Colin, with Daphne as chaperone is one of the examples) None of the other stories distracted from the main focus.

Season 2 - Kanthony Same here. While there was a lot going on in this season with Anthony courting Edwina and going all the way to the alter with her (creative license, since it didn't happen in the book) and then on the other hand we were seeing the other side with his having the thickest desire and longing for Kate. You could cut that shit with a knife, I tell you. But no side stories were overpowering. It was 90% lead character -stuff. Season 3 - Benedict---, I mean #Polin -minus the actual #Polin Were their (the directors/screenwriters) initial thoughts that we've been seeing them for 2 seasons, so we don't have to pay that much attention to the leads? Wrong! That was friendship, this is love, longing and passion. So much new ground to explore for these two. Little scenes like dancing in the church, stealing loving glances is cute and all, but we got nothing more than that. Nothing memorable.

No wait, we got carriage frolicking in part 1 and a mirror first time in part 2. You're right, I apologize. Anything else? Name any other thing you remember from this whole season. I'll wait, seriously.

Did maybe the night scene come up in your memories? Where they had an angry make out and he once again let his hand venture below? I felt the anger/passion in the coming together and pushing her against the shop, sure. The quick flash of him reaching between her thighs was more of a recycled scene from episode 4 or even from S03 Kanthony. I mean honestly. Was there really even a chance he'd take her in the streets? It felt unnecessary and forced. The dialogue was good and would've been better at their home where it's believable they could enter an intimate scene that -could- be finished if they so wanted it. Or not if his anger won over his desire. Did I mention they were both drinking before they met? I didn't say drunk, I said drinking.

I guess they improvised the whole Mme Delacroix scene (before the angry make out) with her offering advice and booze just to give Pen a reason to drink and coincidentally be in Colin's path for the scene? Wasted screen-time. Do I also need a drink to feel the -love- this season?

First part, Colin helping and chasing Pen. Second part, let's ignore and distance myself from her. They really stretched out Colin's pulling back from her because of the whole Whistledown thing, when they could've done fast forwards, saying things like 'Colin, it's been weeks. Or it's been so long, can we get passed this' just to show the time frame. But instead we get long minutes of silence and ignoring each other. Filming Colin from the back, zooming in. Then from the front zooming in. Then him watching her leave the house, slowly getting up from sleeping on the sofa, walking towards his desk. Lifting and opening and reading her old letters. Do you have any idea how long that feels? When she exited the bedroom and delivered her dialogue he could've already been behind his desk. Did we see Simon (S01E02) walk into the room, open his father's desk, take out the unopened letters etc.? No, the flashback ends with him already seated and holding the letters. Same thing could've been done here.

Oh, let's not forget side character-stuff. Let's talk more about that.

Again, I cannot stress it enough. Mondriches. Duke of Kent stuff and moving up, is fine. Seeing them struggle constantly onscreen is not. Wasted screen-time. You can easily have us hear about that in conversation. How miserable and sad he is because he had to close the bar when he became part of the ton. So many ways to handle that. Moving to part 2. Why did we have to get the whole preparation for their ball? What did it add to the story exactly? Just let everyone arrive at the ball and let that be the first we all see of the decorations. Did we see Lady Danbury prepare for the huge conservatory ball in S2? Lady Trowbridge's ball in S1? All of Her Majesty's balls? No, so it was wasted screen-time.

Francesca's story was sweet, bless her, but also unnecessary detailed. Was it the autism angle they were trying to push forward? I'm all for it, but only when you have a series with more than 8 episodes. (God, I miss 22 episode series) Because she is still a side character in #Polin's book, no matter which way you turn it. At Francesca's wedding we had the whole vows scene and everything and the two LEADS!!!! were stealing glances at each other while standing behind the whole ass family. You're the leads, act like it! It felt like S1 and S2 with them being in the background.

We all know Bridgerton's known for taking liberties with the wardrobe. The tailored waists for Pen enhance her body beautifully, but Cressida's wardrobe is bordering… scratch that! has taken a 250 MPH free-fall, into ridiculousness. I also absolutely did not care for -seeing- the reasons behind Cressida claiming to be Whistledown. Should've just kept her as a bitch. That's what we enjoyed about her. Fine, you decided on that development for her character, so here's an idea. She was so chummy with Eloise. Could've just had her tell Eloise that she was being pressured by her parents to marry and then being send to the country to live with a horrid aunt. Wasted screen-time. You only have 8 episodes to work with for crying out loud.

And then there's the side character of all side-characters. Benedict. Didn't they make the very -deliberate- decision to push back Benedict and Sophie's story in favor of #Polin as S3? To then give me so much useless Bentilly sexy time; Time that could've easily been given to #Polin things. If you can make up stories about him being confused as to his sexuality, you can just as easily come up with new, none book, stories for the actual leads. Could've left everything they forced on us about Benedict for his actual season. What's gonna be left for his own season? Wasted screen-time. Should've made him absent, continue the art-school in the background, anything. I mean, an extended honeymoon for Kanthony instead of a forced story to have them onscreen. Do the bloody same for Benedict and focus on #Polin. Every time we saw Benedict, he was playing twister with Tilly and later with what's his name (don't even care) It's not relevant, it's wasted screen-time.

I'm gonna end my review (rant!) with one last thing.

Shallow kisses. Heck it's acting, so you don't have to shove your tongue down your co-actor's throat, but keep your lips open and hollow out your mouth to at least make us think you're playing tongue-twister. As soon as their lips touched, they closed their mouths and it became a fervent peck-fest. Like kissing air and practicing in front of a mirror. Yes, they look good kissing each other, but the kissing itself was bleh.

First kiss in part 1 was going the right direction and was pretty believable, but after that… shallow as f*ck. And to think they were supposed to be increasing in passion after that first kiss. All of them were closed-mouth pecks, I'm sorry. Was it the height-difference that didn't allow them to actually suck each other's face off? ---------------

I will not do a TL;DR, because if you skip this review/rant, you will not have missed anything. Have a great day people.

Yours truly, Venin Orchid (aka Lady Regency-nerd) PS: did anyone notice the nice touch at the end? The Whistledown Silhouetted lady on the top of the page had been changed to look more like Penelope. You're welcome <3

#polin #bridgerton #bridgerton s3 #kanthony #regency #bridgerton season 3 #bridgerton netflix #bridgerton season 3 spoilers

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lucky-clover-gazette · 1 month ago

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kings rising highlights & annotations

chapter 15

indented text is from the book. some quotes have commentary, some do not. some comments are serious, and some are definitely not. most of them will only make sense to people who have read the series. and, like, there are spoilers. so please read the books first if you're interested!

also: part of the reason i'm doing such a close reading is to study cs pacat's style, especially in terms of how she does romance and erotica. there are "craft notes" that might seem weird, like i'm being redundant or restating something rather than analyzing, but those are more things that i want to remember/take away from the writing!

i'm going to tag these longer posts with "sam reads capri" in case anyone wants to read them all at once.

this is a google doc i wrote with overall content warnings for the captive prince series. it's not perfect, but i do think it's important to include.

Damen, who as a prince of the blood did not excel at wagon repairs, nodded knowledgeably,

love this slightly snarky oxymoronic moment from the narration. fake it til you make it!

‘Hey!’ Laurent called out. He was pulling himself up from the front wheel onto the wagon top. He had a swathe of yellow silk in his hand, and he stood on the wagon waving it colourfully at the squadron. ‘Hey you! Akielons!’

i think this entire bit is going to be so much funnier and rewarding after having done 2.5 books of intense analysis, which has made me essentially conclude that laurent and to a slightly lesser degree damen are a gifted and naturally-inclined improv comedy duo, even in the most dangerous and horrifying situations. horny despite the horrors? nah, “yes, and”-ing despite the horrors

It was too late to stop it. Too late to grab at Laurent’s ankle. The squadron had seen them. Brief visions of strangling Laurent weren’t helpful.

The officer in question was identifiable by his superior horse.

"superior horse"

‘You are merchants?’ ‘We are.’ ‘What name?’ said the officer. ‘Charls,’ said Damen, who was the only merchant he knew.

very thankful that they recycle the charls name from the inn but don’t bring up volo again. for reasons

‘You are Charls the renowned Veretian cloth merchant?’ said the officer sceptically, as if this was a name well known to him.

the absurdity here is perfectly escalated. of COURSE charls is well-known, they cannot catch a fucking break!!

also i just love the idea of these cultures essentially regarding merchants as celebrity figures. like is charls an influencer. he’s so popular that even people in the opposing nation have no choice but to stan

‘No,’ said Laurent, as if this was the most foolish thing in the world. ‘I am Charls the renowned Veretian cloth merchant. This is my assistant. Lamen.’

i like how laurent’s correction isn’t “of course he isn’t this public figure you know and like, neither of us are” in order to steer clear of having to prove their identities, but instead it’s ‘i’m the public figure you know and like, because i can actually sell this bit’

also admittedly some of the comedy in king’s rising does not work for me. especially the more fanfic-y stuff. but laurent using the ship name for him and damen in the text as a fake name is so fucking funny and i love it

(sorry i couldn't help myself)

The officer said, ‘We’re patrolling for Damianos of Akielos.’ ‘Who’s Damianos of Akielos?’ said Laurent.

‘He’s the King’s son,’ Damen heard himself saying, ‘Kastor’s brother.’ ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Lamen. Prince Damianos is dead,’ said Laurent.

Then, to the officer: ‘I apologise for my assistant. He doesn’t keep up with Akielon affairs.’ ‘On the contrary, it’s believed Damianos of Akielos is alive, and that he crossed into this province with his men six days ago.’ The officer gestured to his squadron, waving them forward. ‘Damianos is in Akielos.’ To Damen’s disbelief, he was waving them forward to mend the wagon. One of the soldiers asked Nikandros for a wooden block to brace the wheel. Nikandros passed it to him wordlessly. Nikandros had the slightly stupefied look that Damen remembered from several of his own adventures with Laurent.

this scene works so well because of everything that came before it. just… absolutely perfect

‘When your wagon is repaired, we can ride with you to the inn,’ said the officer. ‘You’ll be quite safe. The rest of the garrison is stationed there.’ He used the same tone that Laurent had used when he had said, ‘Who’s Damianos?’ It was suddenly obvious that they were not free from suspicion. A provincial officer might not feel comfortable confronting a well-known merchant on the road and searching his wagons. But at an inn, he could set his men to investigate the wagons at his leisure. And why risk a fight with a dozen guards on the road, when you could simply escort them back to the waiting arms of your garrison? ‘Thank you, officer,’ said Laurent without hesitating. ‘Lead on.’

damen doing my analysis for me!

It was a common enough arrangement in the provinces: merchants and travellers of good birth appreciated and even subsidised a military presence, which elevated an establishment over the usual public houses where not even a slave, if they possessed a shred of respectability, would risk eating.

in akielos, it’s apparently more respectable to be enslaved than poor. boooooooo

‘Very well.’ Laurent showed no sign of hesitation whatsoever. ‘Come, Lamen.’

i think in-universe laurent isn’t using it as a ship name, but as a pun to call damen “lame.” because he’s a bitch

‘This is Charls the renowned Veretian cloth merchant.’ ‘That isn’t Charls the renowned Veretian cloth merchant.’ The innkeeper looked at Laurent. ‘I can assure you that I am.’ ‘I can assure you. Charls the renowned merchant is already here.’ There was a pause.

‘Who is this impostor claiming to be m—’ They came face to face with Charls the Veretian cloth merchant.

laurent is getting ready to “yes, and” the shit out of this

Charls took one look at the unmistakable blue eyes and blond hair of his Prince, who he had last seen in Damen’s lap dressed as a pet in a tavern at Nesson. His eyes widened. Then, with a truly heroic effort: ‘Charls!’ said Charls.

no notes. delightful situation.

‘If he is Charls, then who are you?’ said the officer to Charls. ‘I,’ said Charls, ‘am—’ ‘He is Charls, I have known him these eight years,’ said the innkeeper. ‘That’s right. He is Charls. I am Charls. We are cousins,’ said Charls, gamely, ‘named after our grandfather. Charls.’ ‘Thank you, Charls, this man believes I am the King of Akielos,’ said Laurent. ‘I simply meant that you might be an agent of the King,’ said Stavos irritably. ‘An agent of the King when he has raised taxes and threatens to bankrupt the entire cloth industry?’ said Laurent.

laurent in this scene is me like 70% of the time playing dungeons and dragons. yessss girl pull in local politics and economics to make people accept your credibility

‘There is no need to apologise, Stavos. Your vigilance does you credit.’ Laurent gave a stiff little bow of his own. Then he drew off his riding cloak and passed it to Damen to carry.

‘In disguise again!’ Charls said sotto voce as he drew Laurent over to his table by the fire. ‘What is it this time? A mission for the Crown? A secret rendezvous? No fear, Your Highness—it’s my honour to keep your secret.’

charls deserves his celebrity status. i’m obsessed. he’s like, “oh goodness how delightful! i wonder what fun games of deception the king of vere and his little boyfriend are playing now!”

‘This is my assistant Guilliame.’ ‘This is my assistant Lamen,’ said Laurent.

laurent gets to be himself but damen doesn’t. lmaoooo

Laurent found a seat close to Charls and the silk merchant Mathelin. Lamen was relegated to a small three-legged stool at the table end.

loving how the narrative is now just calling damen “lamen”

It was decent wine and there were no flutists or dancing boys, which was the best one could hope for at a public inn, Damen thought.

WELL DAMEN I THINK THAT’S PROBABLY BETTER THAN PEOPLE SPECIFICALLY ENSLAVED AND GROOMED TO PROVIDE ENTERTAINMENT FOR THE RULING CLASS BUT MAYBE THAT’S JUST ME

Guilliame came to talk to him, since they were the same rank. ‘Lamen. That’s an unusual name.’ ‘It’s Patran,’ said Damen. ‘You speak very good Akielon,’ he said, loudly and slowly. ‘Thank you,’ said Damen.

picturing him like yzma in the sombrero

Nikandros had to stand awkwardly by the end of the table when he arrived. He frowned when he realised he had to give his report to Laurent. ‘The wagons are unpacked. Charls.’

nonconsensual improv

‘We usually operate in Delfeur, but I’ve been forced to come south. Nikandros is completely useless as the Kyros,’ Laurent said, loudly enough for Nikandros to hear him. ‘He doesn’t know the first thing about cloth.’ ‘That is so true,’ agreed Mathelin. Charls said, ‘He disallowed trading in Kemptian silk, and when I tried to sell silk from Varenne he taxed it at five sols a bolt!’

this is the best day of laurent’s life

nikandros private twitter vent #15. obviously. also does this count as an hr complaint? gonna say no—but i think nikandros would still file it out of spite

‘Charls met the Prince of Vere once,’ Guilliame said to Damen, lowering his voice to the conspiratorial, ‘in a tavern in Nesson, disguised as a,’ lowering it further, ‘prostitute.’ Damen looked over at Laurent, who was deep in conversation, letting his eyes pass slowly over every familiar feature, the cool expression tipped with gold in the firelight. He said, ‘Did he?’ ‘Charls said, think of the most expensive pet you’ve ever seen, then double it.’ ‘Really?’ said Damen. ‘Of course, Charls knew who he was right away, because he couldn’t hide his princely style, and nobility of spirit.’ ‘Of course,’ said Damen.

two possibilities here:

1) charls is lying about recognizing laurent immediately as a flex for his friends (most likely)

2) charls did recognize laurent and was just like “go off i guess”

Across the table, Laurent was asking questions about cultural differences in trade. Veretians liked ornate fabrics and dyes, weavings and ornamentations, Charls said, but Akielons had a sharper focus on quality, and their textiles were in truth more sophisticated, every aspect of the weave revealed by their deceptively simple styles. In some ways, it was harder to trade here. ‘Maybe you could encourage Akielons to wear sleeves. You’d sell more cloth,’ said Laurent. Everyone laughed politely at the joke, and then speculative looks crossed one or two faces, as if this young cousin of Charls’s might have stumbled by accident onto a good idea.

this is perfect for several reasons:

1) laurent using his political intelligence to make a genuinely helpful suggestion, foreshadowing that he will be a great leader

2) laurent dunking on akielion fashion in front of damen, which he has done several times before, but this time damen can’t argue

3) laurent further mocking damen, who dropped a fucking pitcher because of his exposed arms, by suggesting that his entire culture start wearing sleeves en masse so such situations would not occur again. iconic.

4) we actually get a sense that it might have worked. because laurent really is just That Bitch.

the wagons where Jokaste was spending the night, along with Guion’s wife, Loyse.

so we’ve got an akielion noblewoman, who had the bastard child of one of the two princes as a means of social mobility, having a hostage sleepover with the mourning and resentful wife of a veretian noble whose son died as a result of her husband’s unforgivable choice of letting said son be assaulted as a means of social climbing. very fun girl’s night circumstances

Damen the assistant checked in on both the soldiers and the wagons,

so he’s called damen again? but he’s called lamen in like two paragraphs. did someone else get the name damen? i don’t see that on the page. maybe it’s just distinguishing based on who’s perceiving him? i don’t know it’s fine i don’t need to understand every little detail (this is going to bother me until i find a coherent pattern or forget entirely)

One of the inn men came out with a lantern in his hand traversing the courtyard to tell Lamen that his room was prepared, second door to the right.

okay so i think it’s “lamen” when he’s interacting with the inn people, “damen” with his own people, and a mixture of both with charls and the merchant’s guild

He ascended the stairs. Without the lantern, there was quite a bit of unlit gloom,

He had exchanged his Akielon cotton for an oversized Veretian bed shirt, loose and trailing laces. And he had dragged all of the bedding from the small Akielon-style bed and heaped it in front of the fire, even dragging the clean mattress down to join the smaller pallet there.

didn’t they do something similar with the fireplace in the nesson inn scene? i get that we’re getting a lot of parallels and it’s great

Damen looked at the bedding, and said, carefully, ‘The innsman sent me here.’

“carefully” he’s like “uhhhh i don’t want to be presumptive but am i about to get laid”

‘At my instruction,’ said Laurent.

“yes. yes you are about to get laid."

Damen felt his heart begin to pound, even as he held himself still and tried not to make any dangerous assumptions.

damen i can read you like a book (literally)

Laurent said, ‘It’s our last chance for a real bed before the Kingsmeet.’

this is brutal, knowing that laurent almost certainly intends to turn himself in at this point :(

‘I need to bathe.’ He said it into Laurent’s ear, let his lips find the sensitive skin just behind it. They were kissing again, deep, heated kisses. ‘So go and bathe.’ He found himself pushed backwards, looking at Laurent across a stretch of space. Leaned against the wall, Laurent indicated to the small wooden door with his chin. His pale brows arched. ‘Or do you expect me to attend you?’

unlike previous sex scenes, they’re actually taking a breather and considering it beforehand. making the conditions how they both actually want them to be. i like that a lot, as opposed to the last sex scene, where it was all very sudden and impulsive. my guess is that i will love this scene for the reasons i disliked the last—they represent the two different ways damen and laurent respectively experience and prefer to express desire. damen’s is overwhelming and raw and primal (“you like it simple”), while laurent’s well-considered and gradual and within his own control. i think it’s very clear which my preference is, and i do stand by the suggestion that the last scene wasn’t as Good as damen felt like it was—but i also acknowledge that i’m just more on the laurentian side of things, and part of a relationship is indulging things that your partner desires that might not be your exact preference. in chapter 12, laurent is indulging damen. in this chapter, damen is more indulging laurent.

The evidence of planning was in fact very like Laurent, though Damen had never experienced it from him quite in this context before.

congrats buddy, you’re about to

(also i love and am saddened by the idea of laurent having a list of things he’d like to do with damen before turning himself in, and just kind of methodically assembling the circumstances to make sure he can experience it all)

Laurent didn’t follow him in, but left him to wash, a utilitarian task.

damen’s bath trauma is definitely an ongoing thing, and i like how we’re seeing how it can slowly heal. we’ve gone from Very Bad associations to Neutral associations—utilitarianism. eventually we’ll get to Good, but there’s still a way to go.

Here, too, was evidence of planning, and he could see it now for what it was: the lit candles, the joint bedding, and Laurent himself, clean and dressed in a bed shirt.

He thought of Laurent, waiting for him expectantly. It was charming, because it was clear that Laurent was unsure exactly what to do, yet, typically, had acted to take control of everything.

it better be charming or else i’m personally screwed. who said that

‘First time to entertain a lover?’ Just saying the word made him flush, and he saw Laurent flush too.

cheesy ass line

Laurent said, ‘Are you bathed?’ ‘Yes,’ said Damen. Laurent was standing on the other side of the room, near the stripped-down bed. He looked tense in the flame light, a nervy steeling of himself. Laurent said, ‘Take a step back.’

i like how we’re subtly seeing that laurent has been identifying the reasons that doing this specific sex act makes him anxious, and actively seeking to create circumstances where he can feel safe. he wants damen to be clean. he wants to be the one giving verbal instructions. he does not want to be touched. verbalizing those things makes it slightly less overwhelming, and allows him to consciously experience this, rather than just saying “i don’t care, do whatever you want.” and that’s amazing.

‘Take off the towel,’ said Laurent.

dead girl walking…

Virgins and the inexperienced tended to get nervous, which he enjoyed as a challenge to be overcome, hesitancy turned into eagerness and pleasure. It pleased some deep part of him to see in Laurent the flickering of a similar reaction. Laurent eventually lifted his gaze from the place where it had, instinctively, dropped. He let Laurent see him, see his nakedness was on display, the strident fact of his arousal. The flames in the stone hearth were too loud as they consumed the young cut wood. ‘Don’t touch me,’ said Laurent. And dropped to his knees on the floor of the inn.

god this is SO fucking good. laurent puts himself face-to-face with a source of trauma and abuse, sets his boundaries so he can feel safe, and decides to challenge that trauma head-on (PUN NOT INTENDED)

(slightly related, i just recently wrote my first earnest sex scene ever in a self-insert fic for another fandom and it is a LOT like this one. which is funny, bc that wasn’t really was i was trying to do, but i guess it rubbed off on me when i read it back in may. and i’m a lot like laurent, soooooooo)

oh also, damen’s perception of laurent being a cute nervous virgin, when in reality he’s like fighting demons with his bare hands, is yknow. more of the same stuff i comment on, where it’s good that he doesn’t see laurent as a victim but also lacks the understanding that we have and it’s paradoxically frustrating and nice

Damen’s pulse escalated wildly, even as he tried rather desperately not to presume that any other action would necessarily follow from this one.

yeah damen he’s definitely on his knees to rearrange the rug

(it’s nice that he’s trying to show restraint, especially after the last scene. not that he did anything WRONG last time, but he seems to be noticing that this is something laurent wants and needs to control)

Laurent was going to do it. When you see a panther opening its jaws you don’t get your dick out.

i listened to an interview with cs pacat where she was commenting on the way people always portray giving head or being penetrated as an inherently demeaning activity, like it’s always showing that the person doing it is weak, but she pushes back like uhhhh no. when you see a panther opening its jaws you don’t get your dick out

also telling is that one of laurent’s first (and arguably most memorable) acts of dominance over damen was forcing him to have someone else give him head, which very much made him the weaker and demeaned person in the situation, even if damen ultimately kinda just shrugged it off bc he was already so casual about sex before meeting laurent and also like. had sex slaves

The idea of the frigid Prince of Vere sucking his cock was impossible.

was

Laurent’s eyes were very dark, his chest rising and falling with shallow breaths, clearly struggling with something, as he leant in again.

i am very grateful that laurent exists as a character and is written the way he is

He hadn’t imagined it like this. He knew Laurent’s mouth, knew its vicious capability. He knew it as Laurent’s primary weapon. In his daily life, Laurent held his lips taut, repressing their lush shape into a hard line, his mouth cruel curves. Damen had seen Laurent eviscerate people with that mouth. Now Laurent’s lips were given over to pleasure, his words traded for Damen’s cock.

this is one of my favorite lines/paragraphs in the entire series. definitely the best one related to eroticism. it’s so much more rewarding for damen to have laurent, who he genuinely respects for his brilliance and sharp tongue, willingly and mindfully taking him despite his anxieties out of desire and determination, than for a slave with no personality to do what they’ve been groomed to do, or someone damen only shallowly understands like jokaste to basically use him for social clout. it’s also more rewarding to me personally as a reader for this to happen, as opposed to laurent just being like “i don’t care, do what you want” with very little mindfulness or control and damen just taking him like that, which is what happened in chapter 12. ultimately i think it’s more of a matter of taste and personal preference, which of those situations a reader prefers. both make sense for the characters they feature in control, and tell us useful things in understanding who they are and how they feel.

It was clear that Laurent didn’t know how to process the fact that he was turned on, and that part of his wariness was that he was uncertain what was next, one of the strange gaps in his experience that Damen couldn’t predict.

fuck… that’s so sad. but a really good detail and i’m glad it’s there.

In the dim light, Laurent said, ‘A fair exchange, is it?’ ‘I don’t know. What do you want?’

i’m trying to figure out what exactly this means. is laurent asking for something in return, as a way to minimize his own vulnerability here? what does the “i don’t know” mean, then? it almost sounds like laurent is referring to some previous conversation between them. ughhh i feel lazy. is it just bc damen gave laurent head in a previous scene? laurent being aware that he gives really good head (because [redacted]), basically teasing damen that he (laurent) gives better head and they both know it, and therefore a true fair exchange would include damen giving him a little extra? and damen teasingly being like “mayyybbbeeee, depends on what you want ;)”

‘Show me,’ said Laurent, ‘how it could be.’

damen understands this as “how it could be if we were together as we’ve fantasized about, without any of the war shit and courting conventionally”

laurent means that, but also, “how it could be if i’m not being assaulted or dissociating. because with what i’m about to do—turning myself in to be killed—i’m never gonna have it”

‘I would court you,’ said Damen, ‘with all the grace and courtesy that you deserve.’ He undid the first lace on Laurent’s shirt, and the fabric began to open, a glimpse of the hollow of his throat. Laurent’s lips were parted, his breath hardly stirring. Damen said, ‘There’d be no lies between us.’ He opened the second lace, felt the low throb of his own pulse, the warmth of Laurent’s skin as his fingers moved to the third. ‘We’d have time,’ Damen said, ‘to be together.’ And in the warm flame light, he lifted his hand and cupped Laurent’s cheek, and then leaned in, and kissed him on the lips, gently.

figuratively and literally undressing him. also this is so hot. anyway

He felt Laurent’s shock, as though he had not expected to be kissed after what he had just done.

stopppp

The way Laurent kissed was nothing like the way he did anything else. It was simple and without artifice, as if kissing were serious.

this scene is interesting, because it’s kind of written like they haven’t done stuff like kissing and intimacy together before. is it kind of an indication that damen subconsciously recognizes that this is the first laurent has allowed himself to be fully present? bc i think that is what’s happening here

The kiss deepened at Laurent’s bidding.

“at laurent’s bidding” let’s fucking gooooooo. man who has struggled to prove he’s in control of a world that hates him for 2.5 books has been willingly given control by someone who deeply respects and cares for him, who has said that he trusts him to treat him well

the sort of proprietary touch he wouldn’t have dreamed of before tonight, and still half expected Laurent to kill him for. Laurent made a small sound of encouragement, breaking off the kiss for a moment and closing his eyes, all his attention on Damen’s touch.

yeah this works for me. lol. in chapter 12 it’s like, there damen was getting off on laurent’s lack of control or mindfulness, the fact that his defenses had just completely fallen and he was being “honest,” so much so that he almost acted like a slave. but here, laurent is mindful about his choice to make himself vulnerable, and damen both sees and respects him for the complex and snippy and very un-slavelike person he is. the amazing thing here is that laurent isn’t pushing back or away, but he’s also not dissociating or pretending to be someone or something he isn’t—in fact, he’s pushing himself to be there despite his hesitation, and trusting damen to treat him well.

‘You like it slow.’ He dipped his head near Laurent’s ear. ‘Yes.’

I FUCKING KNEW “YOU LIKE IT SIMPLE�� WAS GOING TO CONTINUE TO BE RELEVANT

do i even need to spell it out, how that line so perfectly works with "you like it slow"? holy fucking shit.

Laurent’s overfine skin was more sensitive than his own, though during the day Laurent ruthlessly strapped himself into the most severe clothing possible. He wondered if Laurent repressed sensation for the same reason that he struggled to admit it now, his jaw taut.

i love this little observation, wow. laurent represses feelings because he tends to experience them more deeply or sensitively than other people. this means that when he protects himself from harm, he’s also protecting himself from pleasure—because to laurent, as a victim of sexual abuse especially, pleasure and harm come hand-in-hand. we get to see damen figure this out on the page, even without the context of the regent, and accurately suspects that laurent’s “struggle to admit it” runs deeper than just being a flustered virgin, which is what he had previously assumed.

It was Laurent who pushed him down onto the bedding. Laurent’s hands were on him. Laurent touched him as if to learn the shape and feel of his body, as if to catalogue every part of him and commit it to memory.

HMMM I WONDER WHY HE’S TRYING TO CATALOGUE AND MEMORIZE HERE

Laurent broke off, and appeared to have come to a decision, his breathing quickened but controlled. ‘Make me come,’ he said, and placed Damen’s hand between his legs.

checking another thing off the bucket list! i feel like laurent had almost an intimacy contingency plan here: if i do a and still feel comfortable and present, then i’ll try to do b. and then c, if i haven’t been overstimulated or triggered yet. all the way down the list

‘Like that?’ No. Slower.

remember when laurent gave very similar directions to ancel as he gave damen head back in book 1?

“You’re more likely to win a game if you don’t play your whole hand at once,’ said Laurent. ‘Start more slowly.”

turns out the key to pleasuring laurent really was hidden in plain sight the entire time ;) it is the game he likes, after all

His own body’s renewed interest had grown from lazy arousal to primed, heavy; ready to mount, even as he put it aside to watch Laurent attempt to let his guard down.

“ready to mount” damen don’t be cringe

He felt the repression when it came, the hard restraint that Laurent exerted over his body, his stomach clenching, a muscle moving in his jaw. He knew what it signalled. Damen didn’t stop moving his hand.

so he didn’t come? am i reading that right?

‘Don’t like to come?’ ‘Is that a problem?’ His breathing shallow, Laurent didn’t quite manage the approximation of his usual tone. ‘Not for me. I’ll tell you how it was when I’m done.’

damen: you seem to be having a weird time with this (teasing to ease the intensity of whatever dark shit is going on in laurent’s head) laurent: is the matter of how one does or does not come a problem damen: not for me, i come all the time and i’m awesome at it. how about we come together and compare our experiences

they’re ridiculous. i love them

Laurent swore, once, succinctly,

he took Laurent in his hand and said, ‘Come on, then.’ It felt ridiculously daring to tell Laurent in any respect what to do. The first thrust against him was deliberate, a push of heat into his hand. Laurent’s eyes were on his. He could feel that it was new for Laurent to do this, just as it was new for him to feel like he was receiving it. He wondered if Laurent had ever fucked anyone in earnest, and he realised with a jolt of shock that Laurent hadn’t. The flood of heat that came at that wasn’t comfortable. And then like Laurent he was suddenly somewhere he had never been.

cool way for the playing field to be evened between them—the idea of bottoming makes damen feel similarly confused and inexperienced but undeniably aroused to laurent in like most sexual situations

‘I’ve,’ said Damen, ‘never—’ ‘Nor have I,’ said Laurent. ‘You’d be my first.’

damen jots that down for later (laurent doesn’t think there’s going to be a later)

Laurent said, ‘I thought that in Akielos, a First Night was special.’ ‘For a slave it is,’ said Damen. ‘For a slave it means everything.’

“you like it simple”

damen has realized there is so much more to loving a real person than the simplicity of having semi-ritualistic sex with slaves groomed to only care about his pleasure and not their own, for whom the pinnacle of existence is getting fucked. laurent has a lot more going on than just his sexuality, and so does damen. and they truly know and love each other, and demonstrate that in ways that aren't just sexual.

for a slave, this means everything—everything in the absence of any other purpose, because slaves aren’t allowed to have any other purpose. for a person with purpose beyond sex, this means SOMETHING. and it’s something they’ve actually chosen to care about and pursue, because they want it without having to be groomed. and that’s why free will is sexy.

Climax hit even though they were not inside each other’s bodies, but joined together, one.

it’s dangerous to come alone

He felt Laurent shifting, too soon. ‘I’ll get—’

i like how his trauma responses don’t like magically disappear once he lets himself get off. in fact were are reminded of them immediately

He knew that Laurent was fastidious after lovemaking, and he liked that he knew it, liked that he was learning Laurent’s idiosyncracies. Laurent paused, touching his fingers to the wooden edge of the table and just breathing in the dim light. Laurent’s post-coital habits were also an excuse, covering a need to take a moment to himself, and Damen knew that, too.

He sipped from the shallow cup that Laurent provided, and poured water for Laurent in turn, which Laurent didn’t seem to expect.

too easy to point out the metaphor there

Damen stretched out comfortably, and waited for Laurent to do the same. That took minutes longer than it would have with any other lover.

he likes it slow!!

‘You’re still wearing it.’ He couldn’t help but say it. Laurent’s wrist was heavy with gold, like the colour of his hair in the firelight. ‘So are you.’ ‘Tell me why.’ ‘You know why,’ said Laurent.

i think this might be the closest thing we get to an “i love you”

‘There will be no Patran princess, or daughter of the Empire.’

THERE'S NOT GOING TO BE A PATRAN PRINCESS, YOU STUPID SLUT

‘It’s your duty to continue your line.’

damen is projecting. he’s realizing how much he wants to marry laurent and truly Have Him, but it’s in conflict with his obligation as king to create an heir. so i guess that’s also why we have plot device baby

He didn’t know why he said it.

don’t worry man we’ve got our people (me) on it

‘No. I’m the last. My line ends with me.’ Damen turned, to find Laurent was not looking back at him, but also had his eyes on some point in the dim light. Laurent’s voice was quiet. ‘I have never said that to anyone before.’

a few implications here. most likely perceived by damen: he’s ashamed of his bloodline and the bad people in it, including himself. probably intended by laurent: he’s not going to have a chance to continue the bloodline even if he wanted to, because he’s going to turn himself in and get killed

‘I’m glad you’re here,’ said Laurent. ‘I always thought that I’d have to face my uncle alone.’

i hate it here. just TALK TO HIM AND FIND ANOTHER SOLUTION (something laurent has been unwilling to do several times in this series, and each time it has been a mistake)

laurent has gotten so comfortable conferring with damen re: plans and strategy, as long as the goal is to protect other people. what makes this different is that the only person who will be “harmed” by this plan is laurent himself, and laurent doesn’t believe that he deserves to live, especially if his death means everyone else can win. strong vs weak stuff is still deeply internalized. he does not expect himself to be able to get out of this one by killing a guy with a chair—he’s walking into the situation knowing the regent is stronger, and the best he can do is pave the way for damen to exercise his own strength in opposition

‘You’re not alone,’ said Damen. Laurent didn’t answer, but he did give a smile, and reached out to touch Damen, wordlessly.

yet

it is interesting how we went from laurent keeping secrets from damen in order to punish him and limit the amount of intimacy and care they can show each other, to laurent keeping secrets from damen in order to save him and relishing every second of intimacy and care they have left

Charls’s wagon train lent them respectability

literally an influencer

When the days got too hot, they retreated to inns and wayhouses, and once a large farmhouse where they ate bread, hard cheese and figs, and Akielon sweets of honey and nuts that attracted wasps in the sticky heat.

do you think akielos also has slaves to provide fine goods and foods for the ruling class? is it just a sex thing?

‘So you ministered to his household.’ ‘And to his boys,’ said Paschal. Damen said nothing.

i think damen definitely suspects [redacted] deep down, maybe he thinks laurent would have told him already if it were true?

‘I see that you used to be a slave, and that Charls has freed you,’ Guilliame said to him, as they prepared to part ways. Guilliame spoke very earnestly. ‘I want you to know that Charls and I have never traded in slaves.’ Damen looked out at the weird beauty of the gnarled landscape. He heard himself say, ‘Damianos will end slavery when he becomes King.’

LET’S FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Nikandros was looking at Laurent. ‘He’s very—’ ‘You get used to it,’ said Damen, with a little wellspring of joy inside him, because that wasn’t really true.

AWWWWWW this is a love confession too

And that was strange. To be here, so close to the end of his own plans. So close to the end, really, of everything.

oh my god laurentttt

To be where he’d never dreamed he would be, and to know that by morning, this would be finished, or at least, his part in it.

STOP

Then, because there should be no witnesses to this, he dismissed the guards. All bad things were done in the dark.

Jokaste watched all of this happen and didn’t flinch from it, nor did she scream or plead for help, as he had thought she would not.

i really like “as he had thought she would not”

He said, ‘I think it’s Kastor’s child.’ Jokaste didn’t answer him, and there was a silence in which her gaze was on him. Laurent regarded her in turn. Around them, the camp stayed quiet, no sounds except for the breeze and the night. ‘I think you saw it clearly, in those twilight days in Akielos. The end was coming, and Damianos wouldn’t listen to anyone. The only way to save his life was to persuade Kastor to send him as a slave to Vere. To do that you had to be in Kastor’s bed.’

is laurent accusing her of loving damen and trying to save him, in a very manipulative and roundabout way? because that is what he’s doing right now. which is neat. i like these two together

It gave something away. And she was angry about it, and for the first time she was afraid. He said, ‘I think it’s Kastor’s child, because I don’t think you would use Damen’s child against him.��

“because you love him. i know this, because i’m just like you and i love him”

‘You mean, the only difference between us is that I chose the wrong brother?’ As the stars began to drift across the sky, Laurent thought about Nicaise, standing in the courtyard with a handful of sapphires. ‘I don’t think you chose,’ said Laurent.

WOAH okay gotta unpack that. is laurent thinking of nicaise in regards to what he (laurent) didn’t and couldn’t do to save him? at this time where he’s doing something to save people he cares about? or is he comparing jokaste to nicaise, in that they both had to fraternize with nobility in a way that was technically their “choice” but very much informed by money and society? or is he comparing the baby that he’s giving himself up to save to nicaise, that’s why he cares so deeply about saving it, and he has no choice? none of these feel quite right.

“nicaise in the courtyard with a handful of sapphires” i forget what exactly this refers to. is it when nicaise is about to warn laurent, and fails to? is that the last time laurent saw him alive? is he likening nicaise’s lack of autonomy in the situation with the regent, and the efforts he took to help laurent despite it, to jokaste telling kastor to spare damen? these imperfect attempts at helping others within a situation that robs a person of their control, which an observer could identify as stupid or useless? just like what laurent is doing right now?? yeah. i think that might be it

#capri #captive prince #kings rising #laurent of vere #damen of akielos #lamen #charls the cloth merchant #sam reads capri

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onskepa · 1 year ago

Note

Hey there, you've been writing good stuff so I thought I'd leave an ask.

Maybe a headcannon on Na'vi having favorite humans? Like Ikran riders have favorite pilots or healers like discussing healing with doctors/scientists? Like yeah humans are weird but my favorite human is clearly great and it's ironically the same among humans?

Hello there! Thank you for requesting and enjoying what I write. This is actually a nice idea, hopefully this is good for everyone to enjoy!

-----------------------------

All as one

The loyal humans that stayed after the war had much to learn and adapt to their new home. Without the continuing outside resources, the humans had to be VERY creative in means to survive.

One of the things they were very grateful to have left behind was the many machines and other stuff. Metals were recycled and machines broken down to be reused for other purposes.

Since the human base wasn't that far to where the village was at, it was all too common now for the humans to assist the na'vi in reconstructing their home.

The relationship between na'vi and humans at first was wary and very tense. Not all na'vi trusted the remaining humans, still traumatized of the attacks, the killings, the lose of their people.

With the help of jake, things were slowly becoming normal. As normal as it can get.

As many people were injured, healers were much needed. And even then, there weren't enough to heal everyone. That is where the medical scientists came in. Basically doctors.

Of course not many were very welcoming to the humans, thinking of the worse especially with technology the na'vi cant understand.

Took some convincing but the doctors were able to heal more of the na'vi and at a faster paste. Better than the na'vi healers.

Surprisingly, it didnt create jealousy but rather the healers were impressed. And piqued their interest.

The healers and the doctors were the first to step aside their obvious differences and get to know each other. Learn from one another.

The healers taught the doctors their ways of healing, what plants to use, which herb is used for what, the materials, what healing method to use for a certain injury. The paste, the tools, all of that. And the doctors ate up all the information and began to use the na'vi style of healing.

But also, the doctors showed the healers some technology use of medical practices should in case the injured person is too far from the healing tent or the person doesn't have enough medical herbs to heal.

The information exchanged moved from skills to general life questions.

And they weren't the only ones to get along.

Warriors and soldiers. Now they were an interesting pair.

Both trained to fight in the front lines. Both went through horrendous trainings to get to where they wanted, up most loyalty to their people. Knows the ins and outs in a battle field. Willing to die for others.

When those two groups got to know one another, they learn both humans and na'vi aren't so different in those perspectives.

And much like the healers with the doctors. Both the soldiers and warriors would exchange information of how to use different weapons.

The humans showing possible weak spots on their armor and machines, where to hit and what weapons the na'vi use.

And all in between, the normal human workers and the local na'vi also come together as means to balance out one another. Share personal stories, interests, hobbies and a keen friendship

The union was definitely one of the centuries to remember. The communal dinners became bigger and more lively. The soldiers did their part of the hunt thus bringing in more meat and more spices, herbs, fruit, all of that.

There is never a night that isn't boring with the humans. Now seen as their brothers and sisters at arms. Seen as family.

The humans are part of the clan and part of the ever thriving tribe. Part as one, and as one with the people.

And that is it with this one! Hope you all like it! Until next time! see ya!

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annymation · 7 months ago

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Could you write an agnst scene inspired by this sketch please 👉👈?(no pressure of course)

ALED YOU’RE SO EVIL!!!

I’ve taught you well >:3

And yes I will GLADLY write something extra angsty for this! Hope I can make the illustration justice!

TW: Blood, character death.

It was cold.

The atmosphere was chilling in the deep dark woods of Rosas, but it wasn't the common weather of the night, there was something different. It was quiet, ominous, even the animals could feel something was coming, and perhaps that's because of the wishing star currently hiding from the evil sorcerer king.

So far, all Aster's attempts of stealing the magic staff failed miserably, at this point, the star boy is getting quite frustrated, and so was the king.

"I don't know about you, but I'm getting quite fed up by this game of tag, little one" Magnifico sensed Aster's presence nearby, he didn't even raise his voice, knowing the star could hear him. The king chuckled darkly as he walked through the woods "So how about you just come out and fight me like a man?"

Aster was hanging on a tree, far away from the king's line of sight. They smiled, for that comment just gave the star an idea on how to get under the king's nerves some more.

"I'm not a man though" Aster chimed in from the tree tops, his voice echoing all around.

The king didn't know where the voice was coming from as it seemed to come from all sides, but he could tell by the overconfidence in the star's tone that they were trying to throw him off his focus

"Well, yeah I know Bu-"

"I'm a star" Aster interrupted with a child like playfulness in his voice

"... Sure- But that's not my po-"

"This whole gender thing humans have going on is so weird honestly"

Magnifico could practically hear Aster's smirk, which peeved the evil king even more

"Listen here boy-"

"Not a boy heh eheheh" Aster giggled

"SHUT UP! UGH YOU ROTTEN BRAT!" The king was on his last nerve, much to Aster's delight

(Fun fact, this is a deleted scene I wanted to include in KOW to emphasize Aster is nonbinary (He/They). But the scene didn't fit, so I'm glad I can recycle it here)

Aster smiles victorious, but the king's next statement caught him off guard "You think you can beat me by vexing?! HA! This is not a battle of wits, lad! It’s a battle of strength, something you clearly lack!”

Lack strength? Why? Because he can’t hurt others? That’s not a weakness, Aster knows that, to inflict pain on others doesn’t make you strong, it just makes you cruel. Aster knows very well that strength comes from many places, and he’d NEVER be “strong” the way Magnifico is.

“I’ve got plenty of strength, actually” Aster claimed wisely “I’m strong in the ways that matter. Strong to care, to keep trying, and to trust my friends even if all odds are against us…” a smile grows as Aster thinks of yet another remark to throw at the king “Also, you’re one to talk hehheh without that magic staff you’d be as strong as any average nobody”

Oh, Magnifico was officially pissed off. He wanted to wipe that smile off the star’s face in any way possible… And Aster’s comment about “friends” just gave him an idea

“Oh yeees, your friends, of course… All 7 of them huh?” The king had an wicked smile as he casually brought up the 7 teens

“Yup! All sev-“ Aster stops himself onde realization hit him like a truck… “W-wait… How did yo-“

“If I were you, I’d be more careful with who I place my trust” Magnifico’s eyes scanned the trees above, trying to spot any glimpse of yellow light that could be Aster hiding. His wicked smile only grew as he noted the star’s silence, that was exactly the reaction he wanted “For example, trusting that the son of my most loyal knight wouldn’t spill your plans? Tsk tsk tsk not very strategic~”

“… Simon?” Aster muttered in a shaky whisper

The king and queen knew their plan?… So that means-

“Asha!”

Aster quickly jumped from the tree branch he was hiding, revealing his location to the king. But Magnifico had no time to capture the star, no, in the blink of an eye Aster was already flying towards the castle, leaving the sorcerer all alone in the dark woods

“……….. *sigh* Cursed be my monologuing mouth” Magnifico sighs in frustration as he began flying with his magic, back to the castle he calls home.

Aster flew faster than the wind itself, the usual optimistic star had his head filled with worst case scenarios of what Asha and the others could be going through. What if Magnifico set up a trap? Or what if the guards caught them?? Or even worse, what if the QUEEN caught them???

No no no. Aster can't think like that, Asha has a magic pencil and her sketchbook after all, she can handle herself without him just fine... Right?

Aster reached the top of the tower, and upon entering though the window, he was met with a shocking sight

Asha and Queen Amable were dueling with swords, Asha using a hand drawn one, while Amaya used one made of metal, that was strikingly sharp.

Aster instinctively called out to her

"ASHA!"

Aster doesn't know why they just did that.

Neither of the two women had noticed his presence before that scream.

Aster could've disarmed Amaya.

Aster could've just moved Asha out of the way.

There were so many things the star could've done...

But he chose to scream.

Making Asha lose her focus.

She took her eyes out of Amaya for one second, turning to the source of her lover's voice.

One second was all Amaya needed.

S L A S H

Asha didn't even have time to speak a word...

The piercing blade cut right through her heart.

The star did not move.

It was like time itself had stopped for him, and deep down, Aster wished it'd stay frozen. They didn't want this nightmare to keep going.

But it kept going, once the queen swiftly pulled the sword out of the girl, her wide smile was reminiscent of a crescent moon.

Once the sword left her body, Asha fell to the ground like a puppet whose strings have been cut.

Aster finally felt movement return to their limbs, as he caught her in his arms just before she hit the floor. His protective embrace was so firm it was like he was trying to keep her from falling apart... She didn't hug him back.

"A-... As-ter" She croaked in agony, barely able to breathe and let alone speak, as she felt her body grow weaker and her mind become hazy.

"I'M HERE! I-IT'S OKAY! Yo-you're okay!" The star's panicked screams made Asha flinch, with everything sounding even louder in her head. Aster realized that, and with an wavering voice they try to comfort her "I'm sorry... I- I'm here with you now, just keep breathing-"

Aster's soothing words were muffled by the queen's sickening cackle, followed by an heartless rebuttal of the star's whispers

"Oh something tells me she won't "keep breathing" for much longer, dearie" there was no sign of pity or remorse behind those eyes, just sadistic mirth as she watched the girl's violet dress slowly turn crimson.

If only looks could kill. Aster tear filled eyes glared at Amaya like he wanted her to catch on fire, much like the burning flames that was set ablaze on his forever moving hair.

But even with all that rage, the star tried to ignore the older woman. Asha needed him now. They turned to look at her face and-

...

Her eyes no longer had that spark Aster fell in love with...

There was no glimmer of light...

No sign of life at all...

She was gone.

...

Aster just kept staring at Asha's vacant expression, his eyes wide and pupils shrunken. The star held onto her lifeless body carefully, shaky hands still caressing her hair as if she could still feel it.

Amaya just walked away from the two of them, a victorious smile plastered on her face, as she admired her own reflection on the now blood stained blade in her hands. She sat on a comfortable velvety chair in the study, to wait for her king's return.

She was not at all afraid of the literal star in the room, after all, her husband assured her they were harmless, a being literally incapable of hurting or killing anyone. So she was eager to just sit and cruelly watch and make fun of the boy's misery.

Aster was oh so aware that he couldn't hurt her... But he wanted to.

The young star could already hear the stars above, calling for him. They were watching through the open window, urging him to just leave, go back to the sky, accept he failed to save Asha but he can at least save Rosas by not letting the king capture him... But Aster didn't want to run.

He recalled an old song he heard once, a song that old stars sang when they were on their last dying breaths. The other stars always said he should never repeat that song in his young age, otherwise he'd be a danger to those around... But that's exactly what Aster wanted to be right now.

And so... Aster began to sing it.

(........... In case you don't know what this song is about, hi, welcome to the madness that is my rewrite, and HERE is a blog about some AUs I made. Go read it and skip straight to the "Aster turns himself into a blackhole" part to learn what this is all about, cause' I'll actually skip the whole Aster morphing into a blackhole bit, sorry, but basically same thing that happened in that AU blog happens here: He sings, slowly goes crazy and creepy, Amaya has her soul sucked out of her yaaaay let's move on)

Magnifico was pretty much sprinting on air as he used his magic to make himself levitate to the castle, it was a shame that his magic limited him to only fly as fast as he could run.

"*huff* *puff* Ough I'm too old for this" The king was panting as he reached the tower's window, his head lowered as he attempted to catch his breath, but he still chimed in to cheerfully call his wife "Darling I'm home~ heheh I trust you've given our little star a warm wel-"

The king shuts up with a gasp stuck on his throat. For once, he was speechless.

Asha's body was laying on the ground, that was to be expected, it's by far the least shocking thing in the room for him.

What truly made his world shatter was witnessing his queen laying lifeless on the floor, it was clear she was not breathing. The pain in his blue sky eyes ran so deep one could even feel sorry for him, but there was no one in the room to care about his tears...

For the only living thing in the room had no mercy left to give.

"So, your highness" the former star uttered the tittle with sarcasm, as he walked around Amaya's corpse, his pitch-black eyes stared at her almost as if they were admiring their own work. And he kept not making eye contact with the king as he asked "Is this strong enough for ya?"

It was cold.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------

Very proud of how this one turned out, thank you @uva124 for the inspiration!

@gracebeth3604 @emillyverse @signed-sapphire @oh-shtars @rascalentertainments

#wish rewrite #wish reimagined #kingdom of wishes #ask #angst

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mirror-to-the-past · 2 months ago

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Owari-Hajimari ENG Lyrical Analysis

Heyo, I just finished TWEWY recently and have been pouring over the soundtrack and turning things over in my head. Thought this song particularly was interesting in terms of the game's themes and whatnot- it seems to be from Joshua's perspective, both in the subject matter and the context in where it first played in the game (pretty sure it was the first battle Neku has alongside Joshua when he first forms the pact with him). So, here's me taking a stab at this whole thing, and digging at potential insight in Joshua's character.

("Happy-go-lucky, yo, here I am

I'm not a yuppie or a puppie, yeah, hear me roar

Jinxes mean nothin' to me they're such a joke

Never can stop me 'cause I'm on my way

Minus and plus, got 'em plugged in the wrong way

And now minor keys are easier to hear

Regression and progression, I start to realize something true")

The speaker wants to be seen as a devil-may-care yet powerful individual, not someone who's a shallow, materialistic young person or a naïve person. They don't pay any mind towards the idea of "bad luck" or spirituality, tossing aside several societal ideas of 'fairness/luck' inherently in the universe; they just want to carve out their own path. They're a cynical person, they see more of the tragedy and sadness in the world than the good and positivity that they think most people ought to appreciate. They look at the world around them and see how society constantly oscillates between growing and advancing, then falling back into old behaviors.

("’How many bottles did you throw into the right bin?’

‘Did you wash them nice and clean?’

Geniuses invent machines and wealthy people invest more funds

My momma used to say start with what you can do today, yeah, not tomorrow

So I list it up, and set this up (listen up!)

My secret plan is based on this truth)

With the first two quotes, the song starts its thematic motifs on recycling which equates towards the idea of looping/being locked in a cycle. The quotes also reflect the procedural and orderly nature of what is required to do a thing that's good for the planet and society, in this case recycling. It takes consistent effort and deliberated action to do what is most beneficial for the world around them- a level of effort and precision that can seem tedious to expend. The speaker also illustrates the taxing nature of this “do-gooder” attitude of compliance and diligence with how the dedication of innovation is often reliant upon the wealthy to promote new products- reflecting how the speaker likely thinks that even with individual diligence and determination in as many places of one’s life as possible, we are strung along to the rhythm of the rich in terms of seeing significant results from our practices. The speaker’s mother, implied to be confronted with the speaker’s feelings of impotence in an unbending society, tells them that if they want things to change, they have to focus on the moment and not become overwhelmed with the bigger picture (“tomorrow”). The “list it up/set it up/secret plan based on this truth” is repeated in the song, demonstrating extreme significance for the development of the speaker’s core values- in response to all of these perceived struggles present in the world and the speaker’s society and an interpretation of the advice of their parent, they internalized a mindset/course of action that may be seen as unacceptable to others, hence the “secret” nature of their “plan.” The speaker copes with their struggles in an analytical and strategic way.

(“It's a small world, it's a small universe. Remember? We used to sing along to the song

Listen to what she says, we are the universe, OWARI-WA HAJIMARI, HAJIMARI-WA OWARI”)

The characterization of assumedly the universe’s “song” as feminine reflects a level of reverence, attachment, feelings of fickleness, or reliance, as is often seen in feminine personifications of inanimate concepts. The speaker then says “we are the universe,” which shows that these are also all traits that they may see in humanity itself. ‘Owari-wa hajimari,” and “Hajimari-wa Owari” translates to “The end is the beginning,” and “The beginning is the end,” respectively, echoing the cyclical viewpoint of the speaker when it comes to the idea of the universe’s progression- any movement is movement, for creation or destruction, but stagnation is what is against the will of the universe itself.

(“An original strategy is what I need. Contradicted world? I've had enough indeed.

Whatsoever, what is forever? I hear them say it, again and again

‘Recycle, reuse, and try to reduce.’ But in the first place, I refuse to confuse!

How many companies want to sell us more services and products? Can't we share?”)

The speaker is at odds with the idea of maintaining the status quo and the level of dissonance that comes from the public at large as a result. “I’ve had enough indeed. Whatsoever, what is forever” flowing thought, in that the ideas bleed together [I’ve had enough indeed, whatsoever/Whatsoever, what is forever?], with the “whatsoever” being the emphasized focal point of the two phrases. This “whatsoever,” meaning “at all,” reflecting an entirety or generalized feeling, or meaning “whatever,” expressing apathy in a longstanding, archaic manner, is the key point here, showing both chronic fatigue at the tug-and-pull/paradoxical system the speaker is in, alongside a presented apathy about it. The speaker is tired of what they view as trivialities born from the idea of individual responsibility for one’s own well-being and the well-being of their society [expressed once again through the recycling metaphor], using double wordplay in response to the recycling metaphor: “recycle, reuse, reduce,” responded to with “refuse” = waste. This shows how the speaker wants to exit the system, highlighted by how they put blame on those behind production and consumerism for pushing the narrative of individual responsibility upon the populace, while they remain the ones primarily in control of the thrum of waste vs. reuse. The speaker wants a collective responsibility to be acknowledged, where no single person is an island to each other, and no person ‘higher on the ladder,’ so to speak, gets to decide the rules of how the common person ought to live their life.

(“How about talking about something different, because all I got is fake, play money

Jigsaw puzzle I can't find the last piece, maybe I swallowed it when I was a kid

My daddy used to say, ‘Keep your eyes on reality and kid don't you forget to enjoy it’

So I list it up and I set this up (listen up!)

My secret plan is based on this truth”)

This verse focuses on trivializing consumerism and asking questions about emotional wholeness with motifs of childishness/childhood, respectively. The speaker feels helpless discussing the inner working of society especially on a class-based critique basis, because they feel the concept of economy and materialism is all illusory anyway, feeling more occupied by how they feel a sort of deep-running gap in themselves and their self-concept that is implied to have persisted since childhood. The ‘jigsaw-puzzle’ in this case symbolizes the speaker, the ‘last piece’ symbolizes the dissatisfaction the speaker has towards society and life in general, and they blame something deep within themselves for this feeling of emptiness, hence the loaded responsibility behind the ‘maybe I swallowed it when I was a kid.’ The speaker’s father must have born witness to these feelings and beliefs, seemingly more in favor of materialism and against internal emotional introspection in comparison to his child. ‘Keep your eyes on reality,’ has the father likely telling the speaker that should care more about things like the aforementioned ‘play money,’ and ‘don’t you forget to enjoy it’ has the father telling the speaker to set their feelings of emotional emptiness to the side, and focus more on the pleasures of life to fill that gap. With the final two lines, the speaker shows that they internalized their father’s words in accordance with their aforementioned strategy on how to approach the dissatisfaction of life.

#love this song- analyzing this really helped me wrap my head around Joshua more as a character #particularly the lines about his mother and father and how he integrated that into his philosophy that exists to the present day #it was just very... vivid(?) to me. I could clearly envision this kid upset with society looking at ghosts of scared people around him #seeking council from people who didn't understand and told him to get his head out of the clouds #the cynicism that is born from what used to be idealism that was crushed by a society that didn't want change #it's very sympathetic to me- from that perspective #twewy #the world ends with you #joshua kiryu

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sometimes-love-is-enough · 7 months ago

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Syzygy: Some Closing Thoughts

I'm writing this at 8pm on my backyard porch, under the wavering light of a distant full moon. Hello, moon! Please don't kidnap me. I just wanted to hang out with you for a while as I collect my final thoughts. It's a pretty cloudy night tonight, so it's not properly visible, which I suppose is the cloud cover shielding me from a terrible lunar fate. It gives a deliciously hazy atmosphere for the absolute essay I'm about to write.

Apparently, the Farmer's Almanac says that tonight's full moon is a 'Pink Moon', which sounds like it'd be a very pleasant viewing experience. I imagine pastel frangipanis spontaneously sprouting all over the moon's surface, covering every inch of its rocks and crags until the soft pink glow is visible from all the way down here on Earth. Unfortunately it's not named 'Pink Moon' because of that; there's some American environmental factors, etc.

I think it's kind of charming that there's a list of names for every possible full moon, as if the moon's putting on different masks or incarnations every time it tilts just enough that we can see its full face. I'm looking at a list of them now instead of writing these final notes like I probably should. The names are so delightful. Strawberry Moon. Sturgeon Moon. Apparently last month's full moon was Worm Moon. WORM MOON. I could go on. I won't. Let's talk about Syzygy instead.

Syzygy is... Man, where do I even start with this? Let's try the beginning. I started writing Syzygy in February of 2021, after ruminating on it for probably a few months before that, as I often do. That's three years ago, so my memories of the reasons why are a bit fuzzy, but I think I did it for two reasons: one, a desire to have a long-form meaty slowburn fic for a beloved rarepair in the tag so other people could enjoy it, and two, a fascination with the idea of fractured identity, what it means to be a Side without a Centre. The whole thing with the alternate-history steampunk swapped-around Earth came about naturally from that.

Except that's actually kind of a lie, because that's not the beginning, this began in 2020, when I wrote a pitch for a local station that was accepting radio play submissions (rejected, of course) featuring a hardboiled noir detective in a starlit city whose latest client was a tiny shiny girl asking him to solve her father's murder. And that's also a lie, because I think it really began when I tried to write an original novel in high school where the protagonist's name was Avery Allen, because I liked the way the name tripped off my lips.

My stories are always built on each other, especially stories I never get to write. They all recycle into each other in a weird blend of concepts and characters. 2021 was when I sat down and told myself I was going to write the Thomceit time loop fic, and I dove into it with aplomb. I can't recall the exact timeline of events, but at some point I underwent some truly gnarly health problems that left me unable to use my hands for extended periods of time, and so the fic that was meant to be for a Big Bang ended up... Just sitting in a folder for a while. But me and my beta managed to pull it the fuck together, and after adding some extra bits and pieces (the cutaways were a LAST MINUTE ADDITION even though I think they're some of my favorite bits in the whole thing) I started putting it all up.

Okay, there we go, that's enough of an abridged history of this thing. Let's just say: I never expected as many people to like it as it turned out, I thought that it would be a niche little fic for a rarepair, and I was honestly pretty content with that. So it was delightful to see so many people getting so into it, I have enjoyed the FUCK out of all of your comments and theories and predictions. It's been delightful when people predicted a plot point correctly, and honestly even more delightful when they predicted incorrectly. I've had such a blast.

As for the writing... Suffice to say I have many notebooks full of notes and thoughts, more than one spreadsheet to keep track of time loops and lore, and a semi-complete list of all of Virgil's tarot cards, which one day I'll probably polish and share properly, because I think the concept is neat. But that's kind of how it always goes with my writing.

Naming every inspiration for this would take forever and I'd still miss a few, but I'll just throw out a key few ones, because I gotta:

17776: What Will Football Look Like In The Future, because when I first read it I got the wrong idea and thought that Juice (Jupiter Icy Moons Explorer) was short for Betelgeuse (the star), and that sparked a whole thing about living stars in my brain. Also, just the general way that the worldbuilding and absurdity is handled in that world, it scratches my brain just right.

Welcome To Night Vale. I don't think I need to explain this one.

Madeleine L'Engle's writing, particularly A Wind In The Door, particularly-particularly the bit of it where Proginoskes explains why, precisely, he has to remember and Name every star in the universe. Fucking beautiful book.

A particular Untamed/Mo Dao Zu Shi fic I read years ago and haven't been able to track down again, which also features two people stuck in a time loop who are initially unaware that they're in it together AND dying at the same time. I believe they also meet on a bus? The details are fuzzy. The worldbuilding and descriptions of that fic were so stunning to me, it had me unable to read anything for a solid few weeks, it is definitely a superior work to mine in every respect. If anyone finds it, let me know, I don't think I finished reading it and want to know how it ends.

An unpublished fic that I had the privilege to read while it was being written, that changed my brain chemistry re: the Sides unknowingly existing without Thomas. The Flowerwall Cafe originally hails from this one, too, graciously borrowed and greatly beloved.

Both Ghibli films in general AND Dianna Wynne Jones books in general, and obviously the intersection between the two, Howl's Moving Castle, which is fascinating in how both mediums handle the setting.

The Doctor Who audio drama Scherzo, which is a wild ride, and there's a major plot point revolving around the two main characters holding hands and fusing gruesomely into each other - and another involving an in-story fairy tale.

There was no huge inspiration for the clockwork city and weird steampunk carriages, apart from (perhaps) Fallen London. Certainly, the idea of a background organization that wants to kill the sun, who also happens to be a sentient being, is cribbed from the Liberation of Night.

Syzygy also happens to be packed full of many obscure references to... like... personal projects of mine, some published and some unpublished, as well as a lot of my friends and co-writers, and some really REALLY niche stuff that only I will ever properly understand. I buried a lot of myself into this story, is what I'm saying. Juice hails from a completely different project (a TTRPG with my friends, of which she is a beloved and cherished NPC), the in-universe author for Avery Allen (and Mallory Wynn too) are named for a fictional TV author I created when the writing discord was making a nonexistent fandom, Logan's dumpling recipe is my favorite recipe of all time.

I have an apartment ghost, too. I talk to it regularly.

Final thank-yous, because I want to post this very very soon, I've been typing for too long and the mosquitoes are starting to get to me. Thank you to:

Everyone on the TSS writing server who listened to me complain while I was writing it the first time round, and has subsequently listened to me complain while editing it these past two years. So many people in there are responsible for little bits and pieces - phrasings, words, nicknames, jokes - and I couldn't begin to name everyone who helped.

Saphira and the rest of the people who are currently working on making a full-cast audio drama out of this fic (???) (???!!!!??) (!!!!). It is SO baffling to me that it's happening, I'm in complete disbelief whenever we talk about it or I see the script or I get asked logistics questions, I'm terrified and thrilled to see how it turns out, what the fuck! The very existence of that project has ended up influencing a few things about this fic's endgame, too.

Everyone who's commented extensively, commented entire academic analyses, commented numbered lists, commented laconically, left a single emoji in the comments, left kudos, bookmarked it, sent me asks on Tumblr, given me thumbs-ups on Discord, or even just silently read the fic without interacting at all. Your witness brings my words to existence. Love you love you love you.

And Len, who lives in my brain and my body and my heart and my throat, and who is honestly singlehandedly responsible for dragging this fic out of the depths of Google Docs and into the arms of AO3. They've already said I don't need to thank them, but come on, I totally do. Len is the best beta, and puts up with all sorts of deranged nonsense from me, because I have an unhinged writing process where I don't think about anything before I put it down on the page, and I use way too many connecting-dashes and not enough semicolons. Kisses kisses kisses. Thanks for doing this with me, and I can't wait to do it again.

Myself. I managed to write this and I managed to finish it. That makes me a pretty cool person, all things considered. I'm glad I did this.

What next? I've got to rest. Well, I need to get some things done... and then rest. I've been juggling a hellish amount of projects for a while now, and now Syzygy's finally cleared from my plate, I'm going to try to let the others get cleared too so I can take some time and be less stressed. The Locked Tomb AU will be ongoing, as I get through final edits of chapters, so keep an eye out for that - if you're interested in a fic that's rather less starry and shiny, but very much Thomceit and death themes, check it out - and then....... Well, whatever comes next, whenever I have the energy to do it. I adore writing in this fandom. I'll be back with something weird soon enough.

Ad astra, baby! It's been a blast.

- Min (2024)

#Syzygy #author's note

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fates0end · 11 months ago

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Alright, fuck it, I'm ranting about how Deltarune theorists treat the Halloween Hack

Forewarning: I'm probably going to come across as rude here, but good LORD is this reading insidious. Alright, so apparently there's an epidemic of using the Earthbound Halloween Hack to justify their Deltarune theories. Something to the effect of 'Well, the Halloween Hack was about you, the player, being a murderer and that the only ethical choice is not to play it and kill the innocent old man, so who's to say he didn't recycle those themes into Deltarune?'

Which would be fine and all if it weren't for the fact that it's wrong. And this has been spreading secondhand by people who have never played nor experienced a LP of the Halloween Hack, so I guess it falls to me to correct it. There are some correct broad strokes here; the character we play as is a bounty hunter in a framing that portrays the job as being a more socially acceptable assassin, and there is a sadistic, possibly third party entity that takes glee in Andonuts' death. But the one thing we know for certain is that it is NOT the player. And by the start of the game, Andonuts is anything but innocent. To elaborate on the latter, the Andonuts in the Halloween Hack is not the goofy old man from Earthbound, but a maniac driven insane with guilt trying to bring the whole world down with them. He's turned his immediate surroundings into a hellscape of bioengineered monstrosities and a few survivors desperately trying to survive, and said monsters are starting to encroach into other towns, it's implied even that those monsters are abducting people - or killing them without even leaving a body. And when Varik comes a'knockin', he doesn't try to deny that he caused this; he fluctuates between laughter and gibbering in terror, locking himself into the Magicant machine in the belief that it will in some way save him. Which brings us to the former.

Now, I'm not sure that Toby had a solid metanarrative idea in mind here - all interactions are portrayed as being spoken to Varik. But it's at this point that the narration (or at least the real world narration), who or whatever it may be, gets VERY pushy. It starts portraying Andonuts as less of a man, and more of some kind of beast, a monster to slay, and urges you to kill him in his sleep. If you choose to do so, it praises you, tells you/Varik that you did the right thing, and then the game ends because that's not the true ending. If you choose the blank second option, the narration gets annoyed, and tells you that you don't have the option to do nothing. But if you press the "B" button, it loses its shit. It starts trying to convince you, pleads with you, telling you that you want to, NEED to kill him, eventually devolving into the rage of the leftmost textbox as Varik enters Andonuts' mental world instead of committing cold-blooded murder.

As you explore his mindscape, you start to piece together the reasons Andonuts ended up this messed up - repressed sexuality, strained relationships, and, of course, the mistaken belief that he personally caused the death of his son and his friends due to a misunderstanding of how time travel works. You're informed that you need to gather Dr. Andonuts' "courage" in order to reach the deepest depths of his mind. As you progress through his memories and self loathing, you find entities that call themselves "courage". However, it becomes more and more clear, until Poo outright states it, that they are actually some kind of psychic projection (Earthbound is about kids with psychic powers FYI) from the kids who Andonuts thinks he killed (besides Ness, who for some reason that even the game seems to be confused about is narratively equated with Varik), from the new timeline they ended up in after killing the game's main antagonist. The motives get clearer too; at first, you're told that their goal is to 'help' or 'save' Andonuts in some vague way, but as you progress, it becomes clearer and clearer that Andonuts has gone far past the point of no return; Poo makes it clear that they know they can't save-save Andonuts, and the best thing they can hope for is to stop him from mentally torturing what little is left of himself in his dream world. And then, the final battle. It starts with fighting Andonuts' Id, a gory, deformed creature that does nothing but be miserable and beg for mercy. This feels less like cruelty, and more of a necessary evil; the status quo is only making Andonuts lose his mind more, and killing it isn't the same as killing Andonuts, as evidenced by the fact that Andonuts is still there to fight you after you kill it. After that, you fight Andonuts' Rage, who claims that with the Id gone, his mind is nothing but hatred. Whether it's true or not, he makes it quite clear that the Andonuts we are fighting is pure anger; there's the memey dialogue, which, while somewhat tastelessly executed and overly crude by modern and professional standards, does the job quite well at portraying him as a being composed of hatred. There's also his most powerful attacks being "PSI Bitchkill" and kicking you in the dick really hard. Yes, really.

Ultimately, Andonuts' Rage is defeated, and Magicant fades away, and we find out the outcome - Andonuts is dead. The game muses on what the point of this whole thing was if he was going to die anyway, and closes out on Varik musing on how his life is pretty good, a fart joke, and a 'Happy Halloween' from Toby.

Now, while you could be forgiven for interpreting Magicant as being pointless, and you are intended to feel cheated on some level, I don't think it's quite so simple. Yes, Andonuts dies no matter what you do, but the portrayal of it is treated quite differently. Killing him right off, between the tone of the narration and the lack of ending, feels gross and wrong. His death upon beating his mental hangups feels more melancholic. Like you tried to do the right thing, but failed.

And I feel the weight of Magicant is important too - you actually come to understand and even feel bad for Andonuts, rather than simply writing him off as a monster and discarding him. The canon heroes, too, find it to still be worth it to try to put him out of his misery to try to give him some semblance of a peaceful death, given how they're all gung-ho on finishing the adventure and how Poo acknowledges that there's no way at this point that Andonuts can reach a happy ending.

So, to try to bring it back around to Deltarune, if there's anything that Toby took from this to bring to Deltarune's plot, I believe it is this sentiment:

Sure, Andonuts died either way. Whatever you try, that can't be changed. But still, there is value in your choice to disobey the narration. there is value in choosing to understand him, despite being doomed, in trying to give him a better death than being stabbed in his self-torture chamber. Yes, what you chose to do may not change anything. But there is still meaning in the fact that you chose to do it.

If Deltarune really does only have one ending (and that little question mark in that one description is putting that into doubt), you participating in Kris' story, and how to choose to do so, still matter. Snowgrave wouldn't be that big of a deal if they didn't. Choosing not to play might even end up being the worst outcome for that world.

#Deltarune #Earthbound halloween hack #rant #Toby Fox

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kimbap-r0ll · 2 years ago

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Hey! I hope you’re doing well, mentally and physically. I know classes started back up now. Don’t forget to eat and drink water.

I’m not sure how this can be set up but u can do with the idea how you like. But a First date? Scenerio or something Or like first kiss after the second/third date thing? With Feitan. If you don’t mind could u make the s/o Tall tall? Sorry for any typos💜

Hi, I'm doing better but still under some stress ;-;. Here's a scenario, thank you for the ask!

Feitan x tall!reader: First kiss

Feitan started to date you after you worked your courage to ask him. Of course, at first he blatantly said no, but this was because he was afraid you would get hurt when around him. You were from Meteor City, so while you could stay in the city's boundaries forever, the mafia could still come and attack. Feitan didn't want to lose anymore people, especially one that could be his potential love. However, you were able to prove to him that you could fend off yourself and that you really meant it when you said "I love you" to him. So, that was how the relationship started.

He was visiting one day after a major troupe mission. He was back with Phinks and Shalnark, who returned to sort out some negotiations between elders and the troupe. Chrollo wanted to come back, but he was too busy raiding a mafia building. Feitan was left out of the negotiations because the last time he was there he kicked one of the elders off of the stairs. So he decided to spend some time with you instead.

"Welcome back!" You said, hugging him. It looked a little funny in his opinion because you almost picked him up. The difference in your heights was...immense. Feitan felt as though he was almost half your height and it didn't help that you were completely ignorant to how funny it looked when you lifted him from the ground. Phinks laughed a little too hard once and almost got stabbed. Nonetheless Feitan was quite happy to be back and to see you smile. He would never tell you this in person, but his quiet nod and pat on the back was enough for you to understand.

"What did you want to do? I left the entire day free so I don't have to work at the recycling facility today," you told him, walking over to the makeshift kitchen you had in your apartment. The building was dilapidated, but one of the sturdiest ones in Meteor City with more than five stories.

"No plans, just visiting," Feitan responded. He sat down on a couch you had stolen from the junkyard and lowered his bandana, another thing he refused to do in public.

"Ah, ok, well we can visit the market. I need to buy some stuff for this week anyways, the carrot's are all rotten," you pointed out. There was no official grocery store in Meteor City, but the forest nearby along with the growing agricultural sector in the city helped keep people's stomachs full to some extent. You would barter your way for fresh produce, usually selling some valuable you found at one of the junk piles.

"Sure," Feitan shrugged.

"Is that a date?" you joked. The two of you never officially went on a date before, mainly hanging around your place or his. Feitan paused at that comment.

"Sure," once again he shrugged and lifted his bandana back up.

The marketplace wasn't as busy, likely because it was still around noon and most people came out to buy items at around 3pm. You were looking through some fruits (mainly because he once said he liked strawberries) while Feitan was struggling to reach for a high-stand item. You went to go help and of course he pouted about how it made him feel like you were making fun of his height.

"It wasn't my fault that you just happen to be shorter than me," you replied. He didn't say anything back, he just buried his face more into his bandana and huffed.

Sometimes Feitan wished he could be in a peaceful life with you. Just doing simple tasks like buying groceries or the two of you reading art books together. He was lost in his thoughts for a while until you tapped him on the head (which also got you an annoyed glance) and told him the two of you can head back.

At your home you tried your best at making something fancy with what you had. The best you could do was a fancy looking salad, with some fruits added for the flair. You two caught up on each others' lives, with you finding out about the eighth member of the troupe being killed by a Zoldyck.

"Sometimes, I worry that you might...I don't know, get hurt," you said, holding your cup of tea a little tighter.

"Why? I'm stronger than you, worry for yourself," Feitan retorted, stabbing a strawberry hard with his fork.

"I know," you laughed, you looked at him while he tried his best to avoid eye contact. He was still a bit shy, still the same as ever.

By the time you two were done with food and discussing which art book to read next, Feitan was called by Shalnark to come back for a drink with the rest of the troupe who made it to the city. He said that he would come back tomorrow, likely bringing something he stole with him this time.

"Yeah, I'll just be where I always am," you smiled. You followed him to the doorway, about to wave him goodbye until you had an idea.

"Fei, I was wondering...we've never really kissed before, right?"

He stopped, halfway out the door and slowly turning his head to you. He had a feeling of what you were planning to do next. Should he ask for a kiss? Sure, he did want to kiss you at some point, but what if he was weird for that? Is he weird?

"No, we haven't," he responded, turning his head away from you again. But you took his arm and made him face you.

"Do you want to?" you asked, your eyes connecting with his for a millisecond before he turned to look at the fading wallpaper.

"...sure," he sighed. He didn't expect you to actually kiss him but the next thing he knew he felt your soft lips on his.

"Hey, Feitan what took you so long?" Uvogin asked as Feitan entered the bar. He looked dazed, a little out of it but overall alright.

"Did something happen? With y/n?" Shalnark pointed at Feitan, and everyone now could see the slight tint of red on his cheeks. Feitan glared at them and didn't say a word.

"No, it's fine," he said, sliding into a seat next to Machi.

He wasn't going to tell them that you slightly lifted him up again, an endearing act but also a very, very embarrassing one. Feitan wanted to kiss you longer, maybe many more times. But for now, the first kiss was enough to send his heart racing.

#hxh #hxh imagines #hxh x reader #hunter x hunter #hxh scenarios #ask box #feitan #feitan portor #feitan x reader #phantom troupe #phantom troupe x reader

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backjustforberena · 3 months ago

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I don't understand why they decided to give Corlys the trope of "I only realized my wife's true worth once I lost her" when this concept had already been addressed at the end of the first season. Honestly, I expected something different from their relationship's development in the second season. It seems like the writers didn't know what to do, so they recycled the same scenes from the first season: the discussion about the heir; Corlys pulling his hand away from Rhaenys because he doesn't want to name her preferred heir; the huge fracture that irreparably splits them, which last season was due to the death of their children and this season due to the appearance of Corlys's two bastards. Corlys avoids the issue as much as he can, regrets his actions, realizes his wife's worth, and decides to do something for her (i.e., return to fight again, as he did in episode 10).

I believe this season added absolutely nothing to Rhaenys and Corlys as a couple. Rhaenys grew as a character only because of the scenes at the council, while Corlys was truly wasted screen time. It seems like the writers don't know what to do with him.

If you expected something different from the relationship, which is allowed and I admit I was hoping for something a bit different (mainly I wish Corlys and Rhaenys had more moments at the Painted Table, but I understood the road the writers took and why), then of course you are doing to be disappointed.

I'm sorry if you feel that way. However, I do refute the idea that they didn't know what to do. The writers had a very strict idea of what they had to do, in this series, within a very small amount of screen time because of the requirements given by the book and the episodes in the second half, where Rhaenys isn't present. And in no episodes was the priority or focus on their marriage because other things were more important. They had to:

Re-introduce both characters to the audience.

Mourn Luke.

Introduce Alyn and Addam and the fact that Corlys was unfaithful at some point during the marriage.

Establish the roles that Corlys and Rhaenys have within the war effort. Including the Blockade, patrols and where they stand in attending council meetings. And have them react to the escalation of war.

Bring up the Driftmark succession and seed that in as a plot point of future worth.

Rhaenys needs to die and her story has to be concluded. Corlys needs a storyline to continue.

When you look at all of that, it's a big list. And it's a list that naturally keeps Rhaenys and Corlys separated, what with Corlys's scenes with Alyn and his concerns about his ship, vs Rhaenys's requirements at the council and at Rhaenyra's side. So, when they reunite, they have to be used very carefully and stick to topics that only they can speak about with one another, whilst still being relevant to what's going on as a whole.

And they have to do that in a very, very small window of time together (only three dedicated scenes of just the two of them): so it's Rhaenys admitting to her worries over Daemon for Corlys to offer his opinion and soothe, it's bringing up the Driftmark succession and fears over the war, it's meeting Alyn etc etc. After Rhaenys is gone, again Corlys's screentime is devoted to his grief, but also his position in relation to the war, and his relationship with his sons.

I'm not saying I wouldn't have done the scenes differently or used them more effectively or that changes couldn't or shouldn't have been made to really maximise their worth. I'm not saying that at all. But I am acknowledging the limits already there and I adjust my expectations accordingly. It's like Daemon and Rhaenyra and people complaining about a lack of screentime - well, whilst there are valid criticisms to levy, at the end of the day, he was always going to have to go to Harrenhal. And they're basically the main couple! For Corlys and Rhaenys, at the end of the day, we were always going to have to deal with losing Luke, introducing Corlys's bastards and the circumstances that lead up to and surround Rook's Rest.

I pull away from reverting anything down to a trope unless it's being used in a humorous or positive sense, as tongue-in-cheek, almost fanfic-y terms to find enjoyment. So I reject this idea of giving Corlys the trope of "I only realized my wife's true worth once I lost her" - mainly because, also, I don't think it's true. And I reject the opinion that this was a repetition of Series 1.

Corlys and Rhaenys were in emotional places at the end of Series 1. The headspace that they are in then continues on into Series 2. Nothing comes from nowhere (except maybe the Hull boys but that's different). It's not a repetition. It's a continuation. However, some things, when you simplify them (which you shouldn't) are labelled as repeated because beats are repeated.

Things such as loss (losing Laena vs losing Luke), and the same topics require revisiting such as succession, feelings, duties etc. That's what the show is built on. Interacting with the world they live in and the events that happen to them. Season 2 also happens straight on from where we left off in Season 1. We can't have 180 turns in our characters so the flaws that were present then are still there now, and now exacerbated by the positions they are in, emotionally and physically.

There is a difference between the discussion about the heir. I think you've misinterpreted. Rhaenys doesn't have a preferred heir. She doesn't tell him what to do. She's not pushing him in one direction or another. She comes to the discussion (which isn't a heavy one, they're literally having lunch and it comes up) and affectionately reminds Corlys that Joffrey is Corlys's heir. When he shows distaste for that, she offers another. But then she says that both are worth considering but that he just needs to pick one because they are at war and something could happen to Corlys. She has no agenda other than wanting to settle what is currently unsure.

This is very different to the argument they had in S1E07 even if both talks are about his succession. The reasons he pulls away from that conversation are different. And the reasons she feels compelled to want this serious chat are also different. As is his response. He doesn't pull away out of anger or hurt or anything so volatile. He takes her hand, kisses it, and merely puts the conversation off.

The huge fracture that irreparably splits them? I'm sorry... where? Genuinely. Where? They have one scene that vaguely addresses the issue of Alyn and Addam and, yes, as you say, Corlys avoids it. But he doesn't avoid her. He comes to back her up at the Painted Table, they are with each other for (presumably) days. Is Rhaenys hurt by all of this? Yes. But she doesn't show any signs of pulling away, of not loving him, of having it change the relationship.

What irreparably splits them is... she dies. That's it. That's what does it. That's what they "can't come back from". And, actually, "irreparably" is the wrong word to use because if they were "irreparably" split by the loss of Laenor and Laena... well, they wouldn't be together to then "irreparably" split again, would they?

And the idea that Corlys only regrets his actions after his wife dies is, frankly, nonsense. The whole point of him having been a crap dad and being so curt and all of that with Alyn and Addam is precisely because he regretted his actions - his betrayal of her. She doesn't die and then he goes: "oh my gosh, maybe I shouldn't have had those two kids". He's had that in his head a lot longer. Just as Rhaenys doesn't come face to face with Alyn and go: "welp, time to die, nothing to live for now".

There's so much more complexity to why they find themselves where they are and feeling as they do. They've been without each other for six years, there's a war going on, their grandson's just died, the Sea Snake is out of commission, Rhaenys is on her dragon fr goodness knows how many hours of the day, both of them are having to swallow some really painful feelings in order to support a woman they don't really like... and whilst Addam and Alyn are a part of Corlys's journey, they really aren't a part of Rhaenys's. They truly aren't because how can they be? There is the start of something there and a reaction to be had but it's parked. It never comes. Because she dies. You can't have them being weaker or stronger as a couple because she dies. You can't have a massive fallout or massive words of love because she dies. It's always going to be unfulfilled. It's always going to be unfinished and it can never be neat because it's not addressed. She dies before anything can happen.

I also wanted to ask, because I really didn't know how to take it and the phrasing confuses me: what is it, to "add" something to them as a couple? In what way? What would "adding" something to Corlys and Rhaenys, as a couple, have looked like to you?

#rhaenys targaryen #corlys velaryon #house of the dragon #rhaenys x corlys #i swear this is respectful i'm just being a bit blunt

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