#of course they went to a different video hosting app. come on now

[niceferatu]

"why didn't anyone migrate here after the tiktok ban" have you ever tried posting a video to tumblr

[authenticmiya]

Put To The Test - Vinnie Hacker x Reader

Summary - Famous Y/N Petrou has been given opportunities to travel the world whilst living in the hype house with her big brother and all of his friends. The hardest part was that her latest ex boyfriend didn’t know when to keep his mouth shut. Oh and he lives in the same house as her.

Words - 2.3k

Warnings - angst to fluff, mentions of heartbreak, some arguing.

A/N - Well it’s nearly been a year since I’ve been here and I want to say Thank-you for everyone that stuck by. I have decided to change this account into a multi-fandom imagines account, however I never used to be good at uploading so I’m trying to get good again. I hope you enjoy, and please re-send or send in requests, I’d love to create some of your ideas💗

Living in the Hype House alongside all of your best friends was more than enough. You were so grateful for everything they had achieved. With that being said, you had your fair share of accomplishments. Not only had you successfully made yourself known on social media, but you also launched a strong selling set of merchandise branded in your name.

You had your brother to thank for helping you get started on different platforms. However, it wasn't always easy living in the same house as your ex boyfriend.

It was a typical day in the content house, Alex was preparing and filming for his YouTube, Mia was testing out new outfits for her pets and you were sat at the kitchen island replying to business emails.

"Hello baby sister, I have your coffee." Thomas handed you the iced beverage. With a sigh of relief, you thanked him.

"I have never had such a stressful morning in my entire life. I've been asked to host the VMA's but on that exact same evening, management want me to go to Costa Rica with Chelsea to promote her new beauty launch!" You exclaimed whilst still furiously typing away.

"Oh boohoo asshole, some of us only have a blue tick on dating apps." Michael ruffled up your hair and you smacked him.

"Yeah Y/N must be so hard to be so rich." Calvin joked and you rolled your eyes.

"You get everything you want, can't you just come up with a compromise? Like why don't you host the VMA's with Chelsea and shoot the beauty launch on a different date?" Michael suggested.

"Not bad Sanzone, but fuck you for making me sound like some brat." You laughed. Everyone had slowly started gathering around in the kitchen and you knew it was time to shut your laptop off to take a break.

"Miss Famous finally decided to socialise with the rest of her household." Mia chuckled taking a seat beside you.

"Hardly Miss Famous." Vinnie muttered and your eyes snapped over to him. It seemed that you had been the only one to have heard him so you let it slide.

"I think Nailea and Larray are coming over to film with us today." Alex announced.

"Has anyone got plans to leave the house today?" Thomas asked.

"Yeah I do." You told him. Truth be told you adored Nailea. The only problem was, you. Your insecurity would go through the roof when she used to come over throughout your relationship with Vinnie. Everyone would create ship videos and the worldwide web was nearly convinced them two were the couple and not you and your boyfriend of nearly two years.

"Oh do you now?" Thomas quirked an eyebrow, seeing straight through your bullshit. He was your brother, he knew you didn't have anywhere specific to go to, today.

"Y/N's going to an early morning dick appointment, leave her alone." Michael said it like it was true.

"Of course." Vinnie rolled his eyes.

"Dude what the fuck is your problem?" You turned and snapped at Vinnie. All eyes were on you and now you regretted reprimanding him.

"I didn't say shit." Vinnie groaned.

"For your information Vincent, the only ever dick appointment I attended was yours so please keep your sarcasm to yourself." The room went silent. The door knocked and you knew it was Larray and Nailea. Everyone rushed to the door, cameras at the ready for whatever content they were going to film. Everyone except you and Vinnie.

"I'm not going to sugarcoat things Vinnie, what's going on with you lately?" You questioned him.

"You're not my girlfriend anymore Y/N, so I wouldn't need to answer that." He simply said.

“Yeah and whose fault is that? I never done you dirty, not once. You make me out to be the girl who broke your heart, but you broke me first and I'm not gonna sit here and let you convince everyone I'm the bad guy."

"I think we should have this conversation in private." Vinnie searched your face to see how you were feeling and he knew you were upset.

"I think you've done enough this morning, it's not even midday and I'm once again having the same sort of conversation I had with you when you broke up with me." You sighed before heading towards all the commotion of your fellow friends.

"Y/N you look like a hot prostitute in that neon crop top!" Larray rushed over to hug you.

"Nice to see you too honey." You grinned. Suddenly, Alex's vlog camera was put into your face.

"Hey Y/N, why don't you tell Larray about your interesting emails this morning?" Alex zoomed in and you put your face into your hands and shook your head.

"Don't be embarrassed sweetheart, you know you can tell me anything." Larry dragged out, wrapping arm over your shoulder.

"Y/N couldn't decide whether she wanted to host the VMA's or be put up in a five star hotel in Costa Rica with Chelsea." Alex held back a laugh as one of your best friends looked at you in disgust.

"Miss Petrou has become way out of her league but bitch come on the VMA's?" Larry was shocked you'd been offered such opportunities. Alex then went off to record the others.

"You look kinda angry? Did I upset you? Not that I care if I did." Larry noticed how flustered you looked.

"It's been a very long morning Larry. You'd only upset me if you stole my car and you won't do that." He sent you a smirk, just as he was about to retaliate, two different laughs echoed from behind you. It was Vinnie and Nailea.

"If you don't look, it won't hurt." Great advice Larry, you thought as he headed over to them.

"Are you okay baby sister?" Thomas whispered so nobody would question you.

"I think I'm just gonna chill by the pool. My thoughts are running wild right now." You admitted and he nodded. You were quick to change into a bathing suit and chose to sunbathe on your own. Luckily for you, Thomas had installed huge Bluetooth speakers, making the whole experience a lot better with some music. Putting your sunglasses on and closing your eyes, you shuffled your music.

you broke me first - Tate McRae

"Now suddenly you're asking for it back." You sang whilst admiring the view from your backyard. Oh how the lyrics really hit hard when you were going through a breakup.

"Jesus fucking Christ, shit." You shouted as someone tapped your shoulder.

"Chill girl it's me." Nailea laughed, sitting on the sun lounger next to you. You turned the music down ever so slightly.

"You just scared the life out of me." You groaned, lifting up your sunglasses so you could see better. Looking past her, you noticed everyone was coming towards the pool in their bathing suits.

"So much for alone time." You thought to yourself, knowing Thomas definitely told them all it was a pool day, so his sister didn't have to feel like she was by herself.

"But I don't really care how bad it hurts! When you broke me first." Michael shouted the lyrics loudly and you groaned.

"No wander you don't have the blue tick on any other platform Michael!" You joked and he put his hand to his heart.

"You've broken my heart." You playfully rolled your eyes and went back to sunbathing.

"Have you cooled down from your dispute with Vinnie this morning?" Mia asked, sitting on the other spare sun lounger next to you.

"I guess." You sighed awkwardly. Looking over at him, he was staring straight back at you, until he noticed he'd been caught.

"You're allowed to be upset about it Y/N. It's only been a fucking month." She continued but you were zoning out. Taking in Vinnie's features - for the first time in a long time, you'd noticed how different he looked. He looked like he hadn't slept in years and sadness covered his eyes.

"The two of you often bottle your feelings but now you're taking a good look at him, you notice a difference right? You haven't spoken properly since the breakup." Why was Mia so right?

"You're right but I'm not really in the mood for that conversation. I don't know how it would turn out." You admitted to her.

"Y/N you're an over thinker and you fear the unknown! I get it, I really do and as your sister in law, I'm telling you to do what you know is right." Mia pushed it but all she was doing was telling the truth.

"Oh Y/N dear, wouldn't it be nice if we just ruined tanning time with your best friends?" Your brother came over with his vlog camera. That's when you noticed Michael with a huge bucket of water from the pool.

"I will file a law suit and get a restraining order you fucking-" To busy ranting, it was too late. Michael had soaked you from head to toe with ice cold water.

"Oh it's on!" You shouted. Grabbing the giraffe inflatable from the pool, you hit Michael as hard as you could many times.

"Y/N stop!" He declared making everybody laugh.

"One more thing." You turned around pretending you were looking for something and when he least expected it, you launched him in the pool.

"Don't punch if you can't fight." You reminded him with a laugh. You'd taken the decision to go and dry yourself off. Taking a good look in the mirror, the difference in you was just as prominent as it was with Vinnie. The bags under the eyes and a drained looking face.

"What the fuck even are you Y/N?" You questioned out loud, wiping away mascara that had melted underneath your eyes. A cough from the door-frame removed you from your thoughts and looking through the mirror, you could see it was Vinnie.

"Can I help you?" You raised an eyebrow at him.

"Cut the act Y/N." He sighed and you rolled your eyes at him.

"There's no act Vincent. What do you want?" You asked.

"This is the only way I'm going to have a private conversation with you so please can we talk?"

"It depends, am I gonna get accused? Am I gonna have sarcastic replies from you?" Now it was his turn to roll his eyes.

"Stop being so fucking stubborn." He muttered and you bit your tongue. Sitting on the countertop of the bathroom, you waited for him to start talking.

"Vinnie why did you break up with me?" You broke the silence. He could've sworn his heart broke all over again, even if he was the one who called it quits.

"Y/N I never gave you a valid explanation. I'm not good with emotional shit, I couldn't tell you at the time. My head and my heart told me different things. Shit Y/N, you're being offered tours and fucking Costa Rica round trips, how could I ever come between you and your career?" You stayed silent, suddenly feeling tears well up in your eyes but you tried not to let it show.

"You dreamed of being in the limelight, being able to afford things that you wanted. You got there Y/N, baby you fucking worked your ass off and proved everyone wrong." Vinnie couldn't cry, not in front of you.

"I wouldn't have wanted you to have the pressure of me. The times you used to call me crying because you had to cancel dates, that's not fair on either of us." He continued.

"This blame isn't on you Y/N, I will never blame you for living the dream. Yeah, my communication was very off and I've regretted that every single day for the past month. I broke you but we were slowly breaking each-other." By now he was stood in front of you and you couldn't look him in the eye.

"My career means jackshit if I have you." You whispered.

"I appreciate the support Vinnie but where were you huh? You left me. I fucking love you and you just left. I had no explanation just that you didn't want me anymore. All of your shitty remarks in front of our friends-" He cut you off.

"They were asshole moves. I shouldn't have done it. It's probably a cliché that I'm apologising for it after doing it a few hours ago, but I'm so sorry. I tried pushing you away, just so I could try not to feel this way anymore." He had his hands on your shoulders.

"But believe me baby, pushing you away only made me love you more." He whispered, and out came your waterworks.

"No, no, no. Hey, don't cry, come on Y/N, you're to pretty to cry over an ass like me." Vinnie padded away your tears with his thumbs.

"My love for you was never going to end, no matter how much you made me cry." You mumbled, still not being able to look at him.

"Y/N, please look at me." He grabbed your chin gently and turned your face to his.

"Dude you've gotta check this out-" Michael barged through your bathroom and his eyes widened at the sight of him.

"Fuck I'm sorry." He scratched his head awkwardly before quickly leaving. You let out a sigh and moved Vinnie's hands away from you.

"I don't want this-" You began and he immediately cut you off.

"Please don't say this, I just, Y/N. What? You don't want this? Don't give up on us." Vinnie ranted, tears forming in the circles of his eyes.

"Vincent listen to me." You demanded, shutting him up.

"If you let me finish I would've said I don't want this to be a repetitive thing where shit happens in our lives and one of us decided to call it quits. We need to be in this together." You told him.

"Baby, one small crack in our relationship doesn't mean we're broken. It means we were put to the test and we didn't fall apart."

[shnashq]

I made a fic while on Christmas Vacation, and today I just finished a little audiobook-ish reading to go along with it. I used uberduck.ai and this voice cloning space from Huggingface:

And I edited it all with Audacity. Anyway, get comfortable and read along. Fic and Audio are under the cut.

The Worst Time Of The Year

A/rin H//anson and D//an Av/idan are two of the most popular personalities on Y/ouTube. They're known for their hilarious gaming commentary as the G/ame G//rumps. They rose to fame with their hilarious Let's Play videos.

They're usually happy to entertain their fans, but today, they didn't record at all. Why was this, you may ask? Well, because they were both congested and felt absolutely terrible, all caused by their pollen allergies.

A/rin groaned, blowing his nose with a tissue. He sniffled and cursed under his breath as he tried to fight back incoming sneezes by putting his forefinger under his achy, runny nostrils. His eyes were watery, his head felt woozy, and he hated it all. He thought this was one of the worst times to come to the G//rumps' office.

D//an hated having these allergies more than A/rin did. He thought back to when he was studying botany in France with his college class, where he had no problems being close to many types of plants, especially those that pollinated. The pollen in California was way different from what he was used to.

He suddenly then felt his nose tickle. "Huh… Hehh…" He had to sneeze.

The lanky co-host didn't want to lose any sneezes (he thought it was so unsatisfying whenever he did), so he fanned himself using his hand to try and coax the sneeze out.

"F-fuhh… Fuck, man…!" A/rin's breath hitched slightly. He couldn't keep holding them back anymore. "Aah… Ariihhh…" D//an's voice wavered as his nostrils flared. Arin's chest started frantically puffing up, like if he was taking a deep breath in.

"Gahhh… G-God, my nose tihhh… Tickles so muhhuuch…"

"I d-don't think I caahaaan make this go away…"

A//rin tried to put his forefinger under D//an's nose, but D//an had enough energy to push his hand away, as he has been waiting to satisfy this tickle since yesterday.

"I gottaaah… I'm gonnaaahhh…"

"D-D//an… Just shut up and let it guhh… Go already…!"

After a few seconds, their ticklish noses took control of their voices, turning their small conversation into a series of desperate breath hitches.

"Hihh… Heehhh…!"

"Huh… Hehh… Haah…!!"

These were the final warnings until…

"Hehh'TCHOOO!!"

"HEAAAHHP'TCHOOOWW!!"

A/rin and D//an went into a sneezing fit.

They both continued to sneeze, their sneezes getting louder and their voices getting more nasally with each release.

"HehH'TSHHheww! Hihh'TCHOOO!! Aah-- HEHH-TSHOOOOooo!!!"

"GYAAHH'TSHOOOOO!! HYEEEHP'TCHOOOOOO!!! HUAAHHP'CHOOOOO!!!"

They both continued to sneeze for a few more minutes before finally stopping with the loudest sneezes they've ever done in a long time.

"HEHHP'TCHOOOOOOOH!!!"

"HEEAAAHHHP'CHIAAAAOOOW!!!"

They both sniffed loudly, then moaned in unison. Their noses were runnier than ever, and they now sounded as congested as their noses were before.

"Oh god, thad was intdense." A/rin sighed.

"Tell mbe about it." D//an replied. "I dond't thigk I've ever heard you sndeeze thad mbuch."

"Sambe here." A/rin covered his face with his hands in embarrassment. "You gondda be okay?"

"Yeah, I'll be okay. …Right after I, no, WE blow our ndoses." D//an sighed as he rubbed his nose on his forefinger one last time.

After they took care of their messy noses, they felt much better, even if they were still sniffly and sneezy. When they came back, A/rin had a warm cup of coffee, and D//an had a nice cup of chamomile tea in hand.

"Here's to actually taking our allergy meds so we can never sneeze again." A/rin chuckled.

"Of course we won't be sneezing, because we'd be unconscious." D//an added.

The two laughed together, as they drank their beverages.

They both knew that they could always count on each other to cheer up, even when they were sneezing their brains out.

[just-a-fangirl13]

MacGyver fanfic

So this is my attempt at a MacGyver fanfic based on the spoiler we got from the MacGyver writers about Mac and Riley getting unexpectedly linked in season 5. (No this does not have anything to do with handcuffs this is just something I would like to see play out.😂)

I know it's kinda long but I hope you like it anyways.

I WOULD RECOMMEND LISTENING TO ARMOUR BY LANDON AUSTIN in the background for added effect...(I am weird I know😂)

(P.S. please ignore any typos...)

spoilers for. season 1-4.

*this takes place a six months after Mac and Desi have broken up. Bozer and Mac are spending time with each other playing video games at Mac’s flat after a long mission. They hadnt got a call from Matty about a new one just yet. So they were making the most of it after ages.*

“So Mac when are you getting back to dating?” Bozer asked. He was happy that Mac was finally doing better emotionally but he was worried Mac was going to spend the rest of his life building carbon scrubbers and car engines out of blenders, alone. He knew Riley and Mac would be perfect together but saying anything upfront would just end with Mac closing up like a clam shell and not dealing with his feelings. He knew better than to try and get involved.

He did have a plan though. He was going to convince Mac to try out this new dating app called Link’d. It was basically like every other dating app only difference..? It narrowed matches down by people you might have crossed paths with and you also have no idea who your date is until you get to a restaurant the app picked for you. The app reduced any possibility of being stood up or judged because you had no idea what the other person looked like and so no one ever lied. Bozer had already told Riley to try it out but he wasn’t sure if she would.

Bozer had hoped that maybe Mac and Riley would see each other going on dates and the fear of losing the other might kick in and maybe, just maybe they would deal with their feelings.

“Bozer come on, I am not ready yet besides I thought we talked about this. It’s only been a few months since Desi and I broke up.” said Mac. 

“A few? Mac, its been six months and even Desi has moved on. All I’m saying is go on a date or two. You deserve to be happy too you know. Its time to get all that weight off your shoulders and live a little man.”

“Yeah I know.” Mac seemed to be considering the idea. A date sounded like fun and he could use a distraction from everything going on at Phoenix. 

“Fine, then show me your phone.” said Bozer putting his hand out. Mac raised his eyebrow. “Why do you need it? I know I’ve broken a lot of your phones, is this your version of payback?", said Mac laughing nervously, "You'll won't hold my phone hostage until I agree will you?"

Bozer laughed, Mac was really never going to change. He cautiously handed over the phone and Bozer got to setting up Mac’s profile while Mac tried to get a look at what Bozer was doing secretly worried he was going to put him in some ridiculous situation.

When Bozer was done he handed the phone back to Mac.

“There you go. I installed a dating app called Link’d that will set you up on a blind date. Just hit that button and the algorithm will find you your perfect match.” Bozer left out the part where Riley might also use the app. But then again the possibility of them getting Link’d was slim since LA itself had about a few hundred thousand other users.

“A blind date?” Mac was confused. “Boze I dont know if this is such a good idea.” Bozer could tell every worst case scenario was going through Mac’s head right now.

“I haven't hit the button yet. Think about it and press it whenever you want. No pressure Mac. Whoever you end up with will be lucky to know you.”

“Thanks Boze. Ill think about it. Now can we get back to the game so I can kick your ass again?” said Mac with a smile on his face. He really would think about it. After all a blind date meant no pressure right?

*A few days later*

Riley had decided to use the app after all. It was just a date right? It didn't have to mean anything. She wouldn't even have to call the person back if it was a disaster.

Riley’s phone had pinged with an alert last night. She had got a match and had it yes without thinking twice. She was a bit nervous about going on a date with some random guy but Bozer had a lot of faith in the app. She only knew the guy would have a white rose with him so she could identify him. nothing else

She was very tempted to hack into the apps mainframe and find out who the guy was but she remembered her promise to Bozer. No hacking. 

She had looked up the restaurant however. It was a nice romantic place in the heart of the city. Yes she could enjoy herself. No worrying about Mac or Phoenix or Codex or anything else.

She could do this. She could go on this one date, no strings attached and maybe just maybe she would be able to forget about her feelings for Mac for a night.

She decided to wear the new black knee-length dress she had bought a few weeks ago, but hadn't had the chance to wear yet. It felt good to dress up for a change. She could totally do this. After all what could even go wrong. No one at Phoenix knew about this date and she would fill Bozer and Desi in later if it went well.

********

Meanwhile, Mac was at the restaurant at a corner table. It was a nice cozy booth that meant they were away from the hustle and bustle of the 3 star restaurant. He had to admit the app was pretty cool. Not only did it pick a restaurant but it had pre booked a table too. It did help alleviate the stress of picking a place. 

Mac still fidgeted though:- with the candle in the center of the table, the tablecloth, his suit jacket and even the white rose he had to carry so his date would recognise him. He checked the time for the 10th time in the last five minutes. He was always a little late so he didn't want to take any chances and had ended up 10 minutes early instead.

********

Riley’s cab pulled up at the restaurant. She was walking past the huge front window in a hurry. She was just on time.

She walked into the restaurant and gave her name to the host. As she was being led to her table and praying she wasn’t late, her phone started ringing. It was Bozer. Filled with guilt she put her phone on silent. Stupid button wouldn't work and she fidgeted with it while walking. She promised herself she would fill Bozer in once the date was over.

“Riles?” 

Riley looked up from her phone at the sound of Mac’s voice. Was she hearing things now? But nope there he was, with a white rose, sitting at the table where the host had pulled up a chair intended for her.

“Mac? What are you doing here?”

Mac looked handsome as always. He had on a dark blue jacket, with his hair in his usual short and mess style. He had a look that bordered on confusion and amusement.

Surely there was some mistake. Maybe it was a joke. Or maybe there was an emergency mission and Mac was here to pick her up for the mission. That had to be it. Right?

“I was supposed to be here on a date with a girl I have never met before. You?” Mac smiled. Riley’s stomach flipped. Things had just got so much more complicated.

*****

Riley looked stunning. Mac knew that of course but she managed to catch him by surprise all the same.

She was just as surprised as him but now the doubt was creeping in. What if Riley was disappointed that it was him? What if she was really excited to meet someone new and him being here would ruin her night?

Riley had seemed a bit distant lately maybe this was the universes way of giving them a chance to figure things out after all.

“Well I came here thinking i was on blind date too. The Universe has a weird sense of humour." Riley broke into a smile and sat down. Mac was relieved and even more nervous at the same time. 

What was wrong with him? It was just Riles. They would have a nice meal, figure things out and then laugh about this story later right?

Riley picked up the menu and a few seconds of complete silence ticked by. Mac couldn’t handle it and broke the silence.

“So” he said. “We should probably talk right?”

*****

“Something on your mind?” asked Riley. A million thoughts ran through her head as she put down the menu. This was the part she wasn't looking forward to. She had hoped he wouldnt bring it up until later in the night but it was the elephant in the room. What was she thinking sitting down, pretending everything was fine?

“I was going to ask you the same thing.” said Mac. “You know about how you’ve been avoiding me ever since we almost died in that Codex compound from the missile. Then you moved out suddenly without much of a reason. If it was the drilling sounds I would have stopped you know.”

“It wasn't the drilling sounds or anything you did Mac. I just moved out to give you and Desi the space you deserved.” said Riley.

Her thoughts ran back to the moment he held her hand. Why did he have to do that? Why did he have to bring that up right now. The truth was Riley had been distancing herself from Mac. 

Desi was her friend and she was never going to tell Mac about her feelings. It would ruin everything. Even after he and Desi broke up, Riley knew that she and Mac would never happen. She wouldn't be selfish and risk their friendship.

“Come on Riles. You’re my best friend. Whatever is going on then, you can tell me. I know its probably my fault but I need you to talk to me so I can fix it.” 

How could she tell him? There would just be a cloak of awkwardness between them that would never go away and it wouldnt be something he could fix. She had to end this. Now.

“I have to go. I'm not feeling too great. I'm sorry Mac.”, said Riley getting up from her chair. Saying those words broke her heart but she had to put space between her and Mac, otherwise he would know. He would see right through the lies.

“Riles wait!”

Stupid heels she thought and walked out the door of the restaurant as fast as she could only to find it had begun raining. Oh great. This night could not be a bigger train wreck.

She turned around to find Mac right behind her at the door. A sad expression on his face. She prayed he would forgive her for this eventually.

“At least let me give you a ride home. You dont have to say anything if you dont want to.”

Riley considered her options. She really didnt want to. But she was not going to get a cab on a Friday night in this rain. She silently nodded and followed Mac to his truck.

******

Mac was wracking his brains to figure what he could have possibly done to upset Riley this much. They had almost been hit by the Reaper drone and then almost burnt alive in that warehouse, the guilt for putting Riley through that had been eating at him ever since.

He was thinking of all the things he had done in the past month, while Riley sat silently peering out the window not even looking at him. 

He could always fix things right? That was what he did best. What was the use of all his skills if he couldn’t even fix things with Riles.

The woman who knew him better then he knew himself. She had trusted him even when everyone thought he was an enemy of the state. Even when he thought he had lost himself. She was always there. He told her things he had never told anyone before. 

Suddenly his mind went back to the moment he held her hand in that Codex compound. He had thought about that many times. Why had he done it? He was sure he was going to die and he had just put Riley at risk too. He wanted her to know he was sorry right? What other reason could there have been?

Before he knew it he had pulled up at Riley's apartment entrance. 

Riley mumbled, “Thanks for the ride Mac. I'm sorry I ruined your night”, she barely met his eye as she open the door and stepped out. 

Suddenly it struck him.

He didn't want to lose Riley. The thought hit him so suddenly it almost sucked the air right out of him. How had he not realised sooner?

It was Riles. It had always been her.

He got out the car in the pouring rain,“Riles wait.” he pleaded, “I'm so sorry.”

Riley turned around to face him.

“You dont have anything to be sorry about Mac. This isn't your fault. I just have a lot on my mind right now.” she said. 

“I do Riles. I have so much to be sorry for.” said Mac walking around the car and towards her. 

“I’m sorry it took me so long to see what was right in front of me. I’m sorry i didnt realise sooner. I thought back to that day on the truck. The moment I held your hand, I realise it now, it was the first time I wasn't afraid of dying alone. I never let myself think about it. But the truth is Riles, I dont want to lose you.”

Riley had tears streaming down her face. 

Oh no. He had made a mistake hadn't he. He had completely misread the situation. Riley had never felt that way at all. He had just made things worse and now they would never be able to go back to the way things were. 

But deep down he didn't regret telling her. He had these feelings for so long. The idea of losing her had brought everything back to the surface.

“Riles, please say something.”

All these thoughts were running through his head when suddenly, Riley kissed him. He was taken aback for a second but he kissed her back. He could have stayed there in the rain forever. Just him and Riley. She wrapped her arms around him.

“I am so sorry Mac. You were right.. The truth is I was avoiding you. I thought if I distanced myself I would be able to move on and I would never have to risk our friendship. You’re my best friend too Mac and I just...” she was crying again.

Mac took her face in his hands tenderly and wiped the tears away. “Hey, hey its okay. I think we can both agree for two very smart people we can be pretty dumb”

Riley smiled. It made Mac’s heart do sommersalts.

They just stood there in the rain holding each other.

“So are we doing this then?” asked Riley breaking their embrace.

"I mean I guess your bed is big enough" said Mac with a mischievous grin. Riley smacked him, laughing and rolling her eyes.

"Not that. I meant us, dating and all that." She was blushing now.

“if you want to give this a shot? 100% Should we tell everyone though?” asked Mac. He wasn’t sure how everyone would react. A part of him wanted to just keep this between him and Riley.

“I do want to give us a shot. Maybe we should keep this to ourselves for a bit? Phoenix and relationships never seem to mix too well.” said Riley.

Mac nodded and smiled,”Yeah I like the sound of that. And if they get suspicious I guess we’ll just..”

“Improvise.” said Riley, completing Mac’s sentence. They laughed and kissed, standing there in the rain for what felt like forever.

[astonishinglegends]

Ep 202: The Scrying Game

“The scryer does not seek reflections, but visions.”

– Donald Tyson, author of "Scrying for Beginners: Use Your Unconscious Mind to See Beyond the Senses

Description:

Who among us hasn't wanted to know the future or have insight into the hidden, at least in passing? From the first instance a human had a premonition that came true, it seems likely that the adventurous who were shocked and astounded wondered how those without the "gift" could duplicate this impossible experience. Then, when someone stared too intently into a reflective pool of liquid, a glowing ember, or even the night sky, and experienced an extrasensory perception, a technique and its medium are discovered to tap into a sixth sense. Practiced now for millennia, this procedure for obtaining occult information has become known as scrying. One interesting observation is that although there are general guidelines for preparing oneself and performing a scrying session, many mediums can facilitate the phenomenon. It appears that any object can be used that can capture the light and dazzle the eye, or a reflective surface that can offer deep introspection or a dark void that focuses the senses. But then the burning question becomes, how does this process work, and from where does the information come? Does this "second sight" materialize from deep within ourselves, external omniscience, or some combination of both? In tonight's episode, we'll look at the elements, the history, and the concepts behind this ancient and mysterious means of knowing the unknowable.

Reference Links:

Scrying on Wikipedia

The 1992 motion picture, The Crying Game

Samhain

Lori Williams’ Controlled Remote Viewing website IntuitiveSpecialists.com

Russell Targ

Crystal Gazing – Its History and Practice, with a Discussion of the Evidence for Telepathic Scrying, by Northcote W. Thomas, M.A.

Benjamin, from the Old Testament or “Hebrew Bible”

“The Forgotten Art of Scrying” by Fernando S. Gallegos on ExploringTraditions.com

Bernardino de Sahagún

Moctezuma II

Nostradamus

John Dee

Edward Kelley

“Notes on John Dee’s Aztec Mirror” by Ed Simon on NorthernRenaissance.org

Horace Walpole

“Making a Sigilum Dei Aemeth out of Wax [Esoteric Saturdays]” on YouTube

Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn

Thelema

“Joseph Smith's "Magic" Glasses and Other Bizarre Objects from Mormonism” on ranker.com

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Credits:

Episode 202: The Scrying Game. Produced by Scott Philbrook & Forrest Burgess; Audio Editing by Sarah Vorhees Wendel. Sound Design by Ryan McCullough; Tess Pfeifle, Producer, and Lead Researcher; Research Support from the astonishing League of Astonishing Researchers, a.k.a. The Astonishing Research Corps, or "A.R.C." for short. Copyright 2021 Astonishing Legends Productions, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

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Chapter 4. Him

‘be gentle my little thunderstorm, the world is just not ready.’ a.j. lawless

The day we had tea with the Cambridges ended the same way many before: with Lourdes sending a video of her ice skating routine asking for my opinion; that time I didn’t even pretend to see it. I ignored the text and tried to sleep. 

Louis barged into the room soon after.

“Will you stop ignoring our sister?”, he asked, rudely. “She notices, Maggie. And it’s really unfair.”

“Okay.” I said. “Goodnight.”

I heard him sigh, and nothing else. No steps out of the room, no creaky Clarence House door closing, no light down. Finally, I pushed away the cover and sat up.

“I can’t do this now, Louis. I have a headache.”

I’d come up with the headache excuse in order to skip dinner with the Prince of Wales and his wife, but my brother knew that excuse better than anyone. 

After leaving the Cambridges, we had gone back to Clarence House, where we were hosted for the trip, and changed into black attire for a military ceremony in town where I managed to avoid my brother to try and focus on being less upset. He wasn’t about to make it easy for me, though.

At one point, Harry came to stay in line with us as my father and Prince Charles received the compliments from the officials. He gave me that look of his I was now coming to identify as a signature look, one with more intentions than verbalized; one with more feeling than was allowed. 

“Nice dress.” He said. Leaning in close enough that only I could hear him, close enough that his lips brushed my hair and couldn’t be read by prying reporters, he added, “The person wearing it is prettier.”

It took all in me to contain an eyeroll, but the amused smile in my lips was impossible to hold back. Just as I felt my cheeks redden, Louis joined in.

“It’s probably our mother’s. The shoes definitely are.”

It wasn’t a dig for the untrained ears. My mother, in all ways, was more stylish and beautiful than a woman her age should be allowed to be. But knowing my brother for all the twenty-two years he’d been on this earth, I knew very well how to distinguish his honest compliments to his sarcastic ones.

Still, the moment passed, and I maintained the posture expected of me. Coming home, however, I had to tell my father I had a headache so I could come right upstairs before dinner, or else I might lose it in public. 

I had a nice, warm shower, put on my softest fleece pajamas, and brushed my hair while talking to my friend Constance on the phone about our other friend Stella and her terrible taste in men, allowing it to distract me from my brother and wild, unruly thoughts of Harry. 

After that, I got under the blankets and prepared to stare at funny pictures on pinterest - an app I had a fake, incognito account on - until sleep took over. I promptly ignored my sister’s text, as I was known to do, and not ten minutes later Louis barged into the room.

I finally heard the door close, and was overtaken by a familiar struggle against tears, but before I could decide if I should succumb to it, the mattress dipped as my brother climbed onto bed with me. A few seconds went by in silence before he finally broke it.

“Look. Maggie. I… I was talking to Will earlier.”

“Prince William?”

“Oui. I guess I just… I didn’t realize- of course I knew you were helping a lot back home. I just didn’t think it bothered you so much.”

I took it in; he was… almost apologizing.

“Well, now you know.”

“Yes, I do. And, I don’t know, I just…”

I pushed the blankets down and sat up, still not looking over at him, but allowing myself to be in the moment as well.

“I don’t want to be the reason you’re unhappy.”

I sighed, and finally looked over at him. 

My brother didn’t look too young or old, he had that odd quality of looking precisely his age. He had a light stubble growing around his thin, pointy jaw; it was the same color as his hair, blonde, which was now growing almost to his ears. It waved about, framing his eyes, a nice, dark blue shade just like mine - Lourdes had them too, all three of us had inherited them from our mother. The blonde hair we got from dad’s side of the family, as well as an unwavering determination.

“I’m not unhappy, Lou. I just… I could be happier, I suppose.”

He nodded. “And I want you to be.”

Letting out a long breath, I attempted to also let go of the anger, and focus on what I knew for sure about Louis.

He had the biggest heart of anyone I knew. No matter the signs, or how often he was told of the contrary, Louis was always decided to give people the benefit of the doubt. It was a trait we got from our mother, too, and I wasn’t sure what had made me slightly more cynical than him in this aspect, but I suspected it happened somewhere in Law School.

Louis wanted people to be happy, to excel. He wanted laughter and adventure and success for every person that crossed his path. I knew for a fact there was no way he would ever really wish the contrary, on anyone. I knew something else, too, something much more important.

I knew exactly why he was afraid to come home.

“I know you’re trying to figure things out.” I told him. “I don’t blame you. I know it’s tough.”

He nodded, slowly, and took in a deep breath. When he spoke, his voice was wavering; barely a whisper.

“I’m not, though. Not anymore. I think you know that. I haven’t been figuring things out anymore. I’ve known, really known, for a while now.”

All thoughts of the fight forgotten, I felt my heart tighten on my chest. I looked at my little brother, shrunk down and resolute, sitting by my side in bed. He was staring off into the room, but I knew, somehow, he was perfectly aware of my every move.

“You’re sure?” My whisper matched his. I presumed my fear did too.

He sighed, gulped, and shut his eyes tight, before opening them again and smiling at me, scared.

“I’m in love with him.”

The words were new, but the sentiment wasn’t; Louis was fifteen the first time he told me he thought he might be gay. I remembered the day as if I had been replaying it in my mind at least once a month ever since, because it was accurate. 

It was summer; I was almost eighteen, fresh out of my secondary school graduation, but still a few weeks before my adult future. We had been spending summer with our grandparents at the place they lived after my grandfather abdicated as king, Haydell Castle, in the east coast of Savoy. The Castle sat on a hill overlooking the Atlantic, and Louis, myself and Lourdes would go to the beach most afternoons to play volleyball and tan. One late afternoon, Lourdes was applying finishing touches to a sandcastle she’d spent hours working on. Louis had been helping, but left her to get some water from the cooler near where I was laying, struggling to read a book on the darkening light of the fast approaching sunset. 

He sat down by my side with a thud, drank half a bottle of water as I complained about the sand he’d inadvertently thrown my way, and then, without looking at me, said, “I think I have a crush on a classmate.”

Louis went to an all-boys boarding school. The boy in question was a very handsome senior, with kind eyes and handsome dimples. My brother spent a while telling me about how he liked sports and theater and wanted to backpack through South America after school. Then we spent the rest of the summer brainstorming what this could mean.

Monarchies weren’t built on diversity. The core of the system our family was built on was genetics and catholicism, two elements that were famously not very lenient. The Royal Family of Savoy had branched out from the French Royal Family many generations ago. Though we prided ourselves, then and now, that we were different, we still inherited some very big elements from them. A few tiaras, a few titles, and Catholicism. Though Savoy had freedom of religion, the monarchy’s official creed was still Catholicism. It was involved in most of our protocols and traditions, a king couldn’t even be crowned if he hadn’t been baptised in the church. 

The idea of a gay, catholic King of Savoy was ludicrous even to us, no matter how much we wished it wasn’t.

And then, there was the issue of the line of succession. Say the church and country allowed my brother to reign as an out gay man, say they allowed him to marry a man in the Catholic church, say they allowed him to be crowned as king with a prince consort… It would be his duty to secure the line of succession; a king’s job is to produce a child to be the next king whose child will be next after him, and so on. Though it was the 21st century, there was no precedent to a king’s heir being anything other than his own, biologic child. And even as we tried to consider the idea of my brother having one with an egg donor, using a surrogate, we immediately knew what that would mean: whoever this woman was, her privacy would never be respected. People would want to know everything about her. 

As to adopting, what were his options? In what world would the press not hunt down every possible information about the child’s biological family? Interview every distant relative for money? Come up with every way to embarrass them for clicks on an article? How could that child possibly be raised to be king with that kind of scrutiny surrounding them? 

I thought of it as we sat in silence. He loved Peter. Peter loved him. And yes, they were young and that might change, but Louis being gay wouldn’t. Louis wanting to be a father was unlikely to change. But there was no precedent for a king to have an adopted child as an heir, and having a biological child through surrogate would be too hard on a surrogate and her family, being harassed and forever linked to us. If he sacrificed his own wishes and decided not to have children in order to spare them, then me or my children would have to inherit, which to me was simply unthinkable.

“They’re not going to cut you out.” I told him. “You know mom and dad, they love you. They love us. It might be hard dealing with everyone else, but they’ll always support you.”

He gulped. “The thing is… they might love me, but that’s not enough to change centuries of tradition just so I can-”

“Be who you are!”

He was silent, pulling on a lose thread on the blanket.

“I suppose I could just do what they did back in the day.” He considered. “Marry some poor, naive girl, sleep with her just enough to produce an heir and make Peter my secretary so we can carry out a scandalous and secret affair.”

I gave him a sarcastic look, and he rolled his eyes.

“I’m kidding.” He started biting a nail. “I could just… not have children.”

“You want children.”

“...yeah.”

“We’ll think of something.” I told him, confidently. “It’ll be easier once mom and dad know. They’ll figure something out. They’re good at this. They’re not going to make you keep this a secret, they love you too much.”

He sighed. “It would be easier for me to abdicate.”

“That’s not happening!”

“Why?! Because you can’t fathom the idea of having to inherit?! You think it’s okay to put me or my children through hell so you can hold on to your comfort? Who’s being selfish now?!”

I stared at him, mouth agape.

“That’s not fair.” I wasn’t even sure the words had come out, so low was my volume and so loud my shock.

He reached out and held my hand in his, leaning over to lay his head on my shoulder.

“I know, I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

I laid my cheek against his hair, holding his hand tightly. 

The worst part was knowing he was right. As unfair as it was, the easiest path was for him to come out and simply not have kids. But I didn’t want the headache of figuring out how to raise children to inherit after him, or worse yet, to have to be the heir if he was made to abdicate. It was such a colossal thought I couldn’t even think of it too much without feeling a panic attack creeping in.

He was 22. My little brother shouldn’t even be concerned about children at this age. And yet, because of the backwards traditions we were embroiled in from birth, he had no choice, and all our lives depended on how accepting the world would be of who he was.

“Hey.” I called, and he raised his head to look at me. “We will figure it out. I promise.” 

His smile was so small it broke my heart even more. He didn’t say anything, though. He just nodded, slowly, and stared at his hands.

“I love Peter.” I said, tentatively. I had said it before, but it carried a different weight now. Louis’ smile grew. 

“I want to introduce him to Lou. She didn’t come that time you met him, I think they’ll get along.”

I bumped my shoulder to his. “Just tell him to compliment her skating, she’ll love him.”

He chuckled, then looked at me very seriously. “Speaking of our sister, you could be more patient with her, you know?”

I sighed. “I am.”

“No, you’re not. Patient would be watching her videos and offering useful advice.”

“You’re asking too much.”

“I can do it, so can you! You think I care about ice skating?”

“Kinda.”

“Well… okay, I do. But they wear really sparkly dresses. Honestly, Maggie, she just wants to make you proud.”

“I don’t…!” I sighed, “I don’t really know how to talk to her, sometimes. I only had a couple of years with her before going to boarding school, you at least got to see her more often.”

He fished into his pockets, found his phone and opened the messaging app. I watched him create a group, add both me and Lourdes to it, name it ‘Louis’ Girl Gang’, and send the message, ‘this way it’s easier to chat!’.

“This way you can just watch how I interact with her and mimic.” He said. “Just react like me and soon you’ll be able to do it yourself.”

I opened my phone and replied, ‘this chat name is ridiculous’.

“Ouch.” He said, emotionless.

I gave him a dirty look, and we laughed. Both our phones buzzed at the same time with Lourdes’ reply, the first of many.

‘yay i love this! miss u guys!’

I smiled. She was too sweet for her own good. 

I had no idea what the future held for us, but I knew with one hundred percent certainty I loved every single atom of my siblings.

---- ---- ----

The drive to the polo club the following morning - our last one in Britain - wasn’t long, but we had to leave early enough that I had to do my makeup in the car. Did I need makeup to play polo? No. But would the press comment on how ‘tired’ I looked if I didn’t? Yes, so shaky hands on a tiny mirror it was.

Harry and William were already at the club when we got there; we were introduced to the horses we were using that morning, and the rest of the people who would be playing. There was a small breakfast laid out, with mimosas and champagne flutes, which we ate as we made some small talk and got to know everyone. 

“So,” Harry started, finding me alone by the water jugs.

“So.” I replied.

“I’ve been doing some googling.” 

“Yes?”

He sighed. “And I cannot, for the life of me, figure out when we may have met.”

“Oh.” I smiled.

I had started to think he’d forgotten it, or worse, simply didn’t care. But apparently he did. He cared enough to look it up.

The thought felt… oddly warm.

“I asked my people. And then I asked my people to ask your people, who weren’t able, or willing, to come up with an answer. So I do not know, for the life of me, when we may have met before two days ago.”

I nodded, smiling slightly. “Your efforts are noted.”

“Look, I feel like a jerk.” He sighed. “I’m sure I would remember you if we met before. You have a face a guy would remember.”

I swallowed the electric shock that line sent through me. “Apparently not.”

“Give me a hint. Was it here or in Savoy? Or another country? Day or night? Was it more than a year ago?”

I looked at him, brows raised. “It was in another country, during the day, more than a year ago.”

He nodded, attentive, scratching his beard. Then, he sighed dramatically. “God, I have no idea!”

“So you give up?”

He grinned. “Is that a challenge?”

“No. It’s a question.”

He stared into my eyes for a beat, as his smile grew.

“No, I don’t give up. I’ll figure it out.”

I nodded, silently, holding his stare.

I suddenly realized I didn’t have a plan. I hadn’t planned on making this a big deal, but now when I eventually had to tell him, we would both be faced with a story that wasn’t as interesting or sexy as we had made it sound.

“So, what are we thinking?!” My brother interrupted, joining us with William. “Heirs against spares?”

“What, and lose the chance to massacrate Harry on the field?” I challenged, as the ginger looked at me, mouth agape.

“Nice! I love the sentiment, Margueritte!” William cheered. “She’s on my team, dibs on Margueritte!”

“Excuse me, I believe I already have dibs on Mary.” Harry interjected, making his brother laugh.

The line was so unapologetically flirty I felt my jaw drop as I looked around. We were at a tent in the back, where the players were getting ready before being sorted into teams. There was no press around, but there was a lot of people who hadn’t signed NDAs or anything.

Louis was squinting at Harry with a mischievous grin on his lips. “Excuse me, are you flirting with my sister?”

I felt my stomach twirl in anxiety, and tried to give him a warning look, but before I could, Harry answered.

“I’ve been trying to, for the past three days.”

He was smiling at me now, again so unapologetically it felt as if I had lost all ability to function. William was watching the whole thing with an amused look on his eyes.

Louis’ grin grew into a smile, as he slowly moved his eyes from Harry to me, “Huh.”

“Is that a problem?”, Harry asked my brother.

“For me? No!” He assured him, “For you? Well…”

“She hasn’t exactly made it easy for me.”

“Sounds like her.”

“Louis-Adolphe!” I admonized, earning from him a roll of his eyes.

“Don’t use both my names as if you’re mom.”

William laughed.

“Any tips?” Harry asked Louis, very seriously, but looking at me as if studying an animal on the wild.

“Hm,” my brother considered him, “Patience. Her only relationship was with a family friend we’ve known all our lives, and that took forever.”

“Lou!” I warned, again.

“What?! It’s not like he can’t google you.” He shrugged.

“Okay.” I said, before turning on my heels to exit the tent.

I made myself busy elsewhere, but couldn’t keep my mind straight. My heart was racing and I couldn’t tell if the reason was Louis’ teasing or Harry’s unabashed flirting, or both. Before I knew it, though, we were stretching as a group, and getting our uniforms on; I did stay on William’s team, while Harry and Louis played together. 

He found me as we made our way into the field, while I was busy trying to tie the upper half of my hair on a low ponytail.

“Have I told you you look fantastic today, Mary?”

“No, but I’m sure you’ll remedy that as soon as possible.”

“You look fantastic, Mary. White pants suit you.”

Harry’s eyes hovered down my body over my form-fitting white jeans under the black riding boots.

“Thank you.” I said, curt, and paced faster to my horse, starting to fasten the girth to adjust the saddle.

“...I’m sorry.”

I stopped, and looked back at him, only half surprised he was still there. A little more than half surprised by the genuine fear and sadness in his eyes. 

“Oh. For?”

He grimaced. “I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable before, when I was talking to your brother. I was just… trying to lighten the mood. Be, you know, funny I guess.”

I gulped; funny?

“Right. It’s fine. Don’t worry about it.” I resumed my work on the horse’s saddle.

I even added a short smile to go with the lie, but it didn’t seem to convince him.

“Really, I didn’t want to upset you.”

“Why would I be upset?”

He took a quick step closer and wrapped my hand in his; I felt my breath caught in my throat as I noticed how big they were, his knuckles were protuberant, his veins popped against his pale skin. In a dark corner in my mind I wondered what hands like those might feel like on my body.

“Mary.” He whispered, softly; I gulped, not daring to meet his gaze. 

“Marie.” I whispered back.

He sighed. “Marie. If you want me to stop, and just… be your friend, or even just a polite acquaintance…” 

He allowed the end of his sentence to hang in the air, ominous; It felt horrifying, specially hearing him call me my actual name. It made me look back at him, meeting his eyes a lot closer than I thought they would be.

“...all you gotta do is say so.” He finished, finally. 

The offer sounded awfully simple for a feat that sounded amazingly difficult, though I couldn’t understand why. He was being so annoying, so infuriating for the past three days. It would be so easy to tell him to back off, if only it weren’t for that little part of my heart that was trying to tell me he wasn’t that annoying. And really, wasn’t the only frustrating thing about it that we had had so little time together? After all, his hand was still on mine, and it did feel like my whole body was warmer than the British sun on that morning warranted.

“What’s this?” I asked.

As I looked back to his hands, I noticed once more that he had something written in them. He turned his palm towards me, while the back of his hand still rested in mine.

“This says ‘call Gil’, it’s the manager of my foundation in Lesotho. I have to get back to him about something. And this other line says ‘figure out trip’. It’s my mate’s birthday next month and the lads asked me to figure out how we can organize a hunting trip for him.”

As he explained his little reminder list on his palm, I traced it with the tips of my fingers lightly. After I ran out of the ink to trace, I started tracing the lines in his palm, very slowly.

“Bad memory?” I teased.

He sighed, “The worst. Well, not about important things. I remember important things. But names of people I met only a couple times, but should definitely know? Nope. And the deadline to things I have to do? Even worse. Hence the writing in hand.”

“Have you tried setting alarms on your phone?”

“I barely know how to make calls.” He rolled his eyes.

“Drama queen!”

“I’m serious! We’re not allowed to use social media, so really what’s there to do? I just don’t use it much.”

“God, it’s like you’re 80.”

He chuckled, and his hand closed on reflex over mine. Now it was almost as if we were holding hands. The thought, the warmth of his skin on mine, sent a shock wave through my body.

“Come on, Harry, no flirting with the competition!” Louis called out as he rode by.

We chuckled, timidly.

“Things seem better, with Louis.” He commented. 

I smiled. “We talked.”

“Did he understand?”

I nodded. “Yes. He’s got a good heart. He’s young, but he’d never willingly do something to hurt anyone. It’s just…” I sighed, giving him a side glance. “He’s got… some stuff to figure out. And I wanna help as much as I can. I just… Can’t sacrifice myself for it. And I think he gets it.”

There was a pause, a more comfortable one this time, and next time he spoke, he had a whisper of a smile on his lips.

“You didn’t ask me to stop.” He whispered. I looked at him. 

“I guess I didn’t.”

We exchanged a smile, and just as I felt my cheeks redden at the long pause, his brother rode by already on his horse.

“Stop flirting with my player, Harry, get to your horse!”

We jumped, startled, but chuckled timidly as he rode away.

“So, how confident are you that you’re going to beat me?”, he asked.

“Oh, only about 89%.”

“Oh, is that all?”

“Ninety-six, tops.”

He nodded, amused. “Care to make it interesting?”

“What are you thinking?”

“Loser buys dinner.”

I bit my inner lip to contain a smile. It almost sounded like he was asking me on a date. Was he asking me out on a date?

“I… I have to leave tomorrow morning.”

“Well, Savoy is, what? Four or five hours away by train?”

“Another one and a half to the city where I live.”

He nodded, then shrugged. “I can do that. What do you say?”

I placed a foot on the stirrup, and jumped up to take my seat on the saddle.

“Win first, Your Royal Highness. Then we’ll talk.”

“Game on, Mary.”

--- ---- ---

[A/N: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!!!! please let me know if you like it? I’m open to notes, suggestions, all of it =) just liking this chapter would really help me know!

I don’t know how to say this without spoiling a big plot point in the story, but to be fair it is sort of the main premise, so if you’d like not to be spoiled on plot points, maybe come back later? Cool. Let’s get to it.

When I first started writing this story, I hadn’t intended on Margueritte’s brother, Louis, to be such a big character. I expected his time with us would be… well, shorter, after all the main idea for this story starts with his - again, spoiler alert - death. But as I wrote a little of him, I I liked him so much, and I ended up writing more and more and soon it was really heartbreaking killing him. As you’ll soon find, Louis fits into a trope I didn’t intentionally set out to write: the kill your gays trope. I don’t want to go into details because that’s enough spoilers, but suffice to say mea culpa, and also I hope you’ll give me a chance to show I do have a bigger intention with this: one, monarchies are famously heteronormative. They essentially can’t survive otherwise, or so we are told. I have always wandered about this. We’ve all read the historical examples of homosexuality being swiftly repressed for the good of the succession line. As a modern royal, Margueritte will have to look this issue in the eyes, too. She’ll have to realize the role she plays in a system where for her family and its history to survive, some families cannot exist in their purest form, and she will struggle with not being able to tell the world the truth about her brother - since it is not her place - knowing this makes her an accomplice in rewriting history to fit her best purpose. 

Which choices she makes and which path she decided to take in this issue are something I’m excited to explore, as I honestly believe monarchies will have to have a solution for this at one point or another.

TL/DR: though this story adds to the kill your gays trope, which I know it’s problematic, I want to write about the way monarchies perpetuate heteronormativity and how they will have to find a way for all their members, regardless of sexuality or gender identity, to feel at home in the institution, and I intend to add more non-straight characters so delve into this issue.]

[tvwriteups]

ESC 2021 GF

Opening was okay. Think that's the largest the stage has looked.

Watching on PeacockTV. No commentary. This time I'm watching through my speakers and not through headphones. Not gonna do a rundown since a lot of the songs are familiar.

I did not watch any of the big 5 or the Dutch rehearsal/jury videos so I'll be watching those whole for the first time. (I probably should have watched them. Oops. Too late now!)

I really have no idea who will win. Kind of makes it exciting!

What's a little weird with my setup is how much "sharper" the music sounds on my speakers.

Let the Grand Final of the ESC begin!

1. Cyprus

2. Albania

3. Israel

4. Belgium

What's funny for me here is that the Belgian song is growing on me on this third listen. I like it more each time. (This might actually make my Eurovision AND Hooverphonic playlist!) With the other songs I was... like I didn't feel the level of "excitement" I felt when I watched them earlier this week.

5. Russia

Oh yeah! This is another one I'm liking more on a second viewing. I like her expressiveness. This is never not interesting. And an enthusiastic response there.

6. Malta

Maltese Lizzo. I know this is very popular with the ESC crowd and I get it but it doesn't personally register with me. I think it's the speed. It's like the same fast speed and mostly same level of "noise." Crowd really loooooves it though. Might just be my own autistic sound processing issues.

7. Portugal

I still am impressed with how well-structured this is. I'll probably forget the song next week but when it was being performed I never lost interest.

8. Serbia

They seem so wholesome in their postcard. Hmm, singing doesn't sound as good on my speakers. This is like the first 3 songs for me.

And now a break.

Kind of sucks performing early because it hurts you with the vote but at least you get to sit back easy and watch the rest of the show.

I still feel very conflicted about how to feel about Junior ESC. Lots of pressure to put on children.

Jamala, Emmelie de Forest, Duncan Laurence on where they keep their awards... nope, Nikkie, I'm not gonna check out the live blog. I like the ESC but even I have to draw a line somewhere.

9. United Kingdom

First time watching. I don't understand these British songwriters who perform their own songs and yet... like, it doesn't sound ideally suited to their own voices. It was okay but it's another one I'll forget in a week.

10. Greece

Well, I didn't get to watch this properly the first time so here goes: I don't like the huge reliance on effects but it's BEHIND her so it's completely acceptable to me. I think this would've worked better for me if the dancing was "more [active?]" since it's a fast song about dancing.

The hosts briefly have to tell us something for some reason.

Hmm, apparently a lot of my sound issue is that the rear speakers are coming through louder.

11. Switzerland

This is playing much better for me today than it did the other day. The overall performance is better. I don't like the epilepsy-inducing light though. That's my only complaint. Well done!

12. Iceland

Well, literally the same exact performance we watched the other day but it was fun so... and my viewing experience is slightly different so... Hmm.. what I'm really feeling right now is a song placement thing. We went from intense to chill and that energy change is a bit much for me.

13. Spain

This song does not have a strong hook. I ... can't remember the song and it only just finished.

14. Moldova

I honestly don't think this song would've made it through the first SF. I just don't care for it. I think I spent most of the performance looking at the dancers when that was an option.

15. Germany

This feels like a cross between a Moldovan and a San Marino entry. I dunno, I enjoyed it. I wouldn't watch it again though.

I do also understand that part of watching this as an American is that I don't ever have to feel embarrassment that I'm being represented through any of these performances.

16. Finland

Now that I know that this is like this I'm totally not interested. I'd probably feel very differently if I was in the same space as these guys because it's a SHOW!

And another break. Oh, the broadcaster boxes. I always assume that they're going to harass Graham Norton but they're actually visiting the Danes right now. And the Russians.

Hosts talking about orchestras now.

17. Bulgaria

I remember this postcard from the other day because of the menagerie this girl has. This song is also growing on me. I was confused about the lyrics the other day but now am experiencing them as playful. Feeling the "production" of this one.

18. Lithuania

It's hard for me because I really liked "On Fire." I'm really enjoying this the second time and a really great, entertaining performance. And maybe it's in a better place during the night.

Hosts talking about the app. They're really hammering this whole "clap along" thing (which I haven't found on the app because I'm probably too old to care).

19. Ukraine

This song is a trip. Bangy-est banger of the night. You just never know.

20. France

You know, this comes off as something the juries would love to award. Damn, girl! You know, I wasn't impressed when they showed the short clip at the end of the SF. You really have to watch the whole thing.

21. Azerbaijan

Seems more appropriate to sing about Mata Hari than Cleopatra in the Netherlands when you think about it. It could be because I've already seen this before but I'm still processing France. There's also something about this staging that makes them look small on the stage to me.

22. Norway

I don't know why I find him adorable but I do. This song feels like a hug. (Or it's the "feathers." LOL)

Mini-break about what's upcoming.

23. The Netherlands

I was into it until the last 30 when it got really repetitive but that's still an overall like.

24. Italy

I really can't predict anything. I dig this but we've sort of filled a quota for intensity for the night.

25. Sweden

I'm just kind of like....of course Sweden has the Rijksmuseum postcard. It's like the most recognizable place in all of these postcards. And be near the end of the show. I'll be honest: I'm just predisposed to be against Sweden. Ugh, epilepsy light. I can't even look at the screen. Also, I liked Russia's "A Million Voices" in 2015. I'm guessing this song did not look like this at Melodifestivalen because it's really looking terrible on my tv. This is the worst visual presentation of the night.

26. San Marino

Honestly wondering how well San Marino is gonna finish this year. This felt more awesome the first time. Well, also Flo Rida delightfully surprised me the first time.

And how our hosts telling us about the importance of voting. I have no idea how these are going to pan out. I just know that if I was voting I think I'd throw my votes at Ukraine and France...while feeling bad that I'm not throwing some at Bulgaria, Iceland, Lithuania or Switzerland. (I also liked Russia but I wouldn't vote for them.) I mean, I liked Italy but... I don't know. I think I ran out of energy by then.

Really think it's that Ukraine and France just zapped my energy for energetic songs. The only one I felt after those was the hug of Norway. Or maybe Norway lulled me. LOL.

Would be interested in the televotes for some of these countries.

Recap. Ooof. France doesn't work in short recap clip.

"Music Binds Us"....because we've heard of Afrojack here. I swear every other major city has one of those bridges. I'd otherwise dig this but we've had so much intense music tonight.

I'm guessing we're listening to "Titanium" because Afrojack wrote and produced it.

I'm sitting here wondering if ANYONE is going to vote for the UK at all. Or, really, how many of the Big 5 are going to be in the Bottom 5.

Another recap.

Another Nikkie ESC Tutorial segment. This is actually kind of annoying.

And now a behind-the-scenes montage while the voting numbers are displayed at the bottom.

Catching up with past winners now.

ESC honoring itself again. Enjoying how much they're not overemphasizing the whole "in front of a live audience" stuff like they were doing the other nights.

Another recap.

Oddly, I think Moldova annoys me the most. It feels like the emptiest song in the final.

How quickly are they going to burn through the votes. It's already feeling like this show is long.

65th anniversary stuff. Rock the Roof. Måns again. I don't like this song. I think 2015 was a great overall year (even if I was able to predict the top 10 (except for Latvia) but I still listen to a lot of songs from that year... just not "Heroes." I resent that I have to hear it every year now.

Teach-In....because Dutch and because we need a song with 'Ding" and "Dong" in it.

SANDRA KIM!!!!!!!! Forever the youngest winner of this contest.

Lenny Kuhr.

Helena Paparizou. LOL, totally sticking to the choreo.

Lordi. Probably had to choose their roof first to get the permission to shoot the pyro off it.

So are they saving Duncan Laurence for when they calculate the votes? It feels like the voting window has been open forever now. I keep looking for a countdown clock.

This sounds like a way of saying Duncan Laurence has tested positive for COVID without saying that he tested positive for COVID.

Are they emphasizing that the Netherlands is below sea level?

New song... I'll take anything as long as it's not "Nana Banana."

The voting still isn't closed!

Oh, they have a special countdown dance is why. How very Paparizou of them.

Oh, that weird part where they banter with the delegations.

Malta. Just Malta?

Martin Österdahl. Because Swedes. Jury time. I forgot that revealing votes this way eliminates the performances during the vote calculation. They calculate the televote during the jury stuff.

Jury Votes

Israel, the least popular child in the room right now gives their 12 points to Switzerland.

Poland goes to San Marino.

San Marino goes to France.

Albania to Switzerland.

Malta to Albania.

These are going all over the place. But then it's juries.

Estonia's 12 to Switzerland.

Switzerland and France popular with juries so far.

North Macedonia to Serbia.

Recap. Switzerland, France and Italy in the Top 3.

Els and Nikki or however you spell their names. Azerbaijan throws their points at Russia of course.

Norway to....Malta.

Spain to France.

Austria to Iceland.

Ooof, UK, Spain and Norway totally blanked right now.

The UK....with Amanda Holden...and 12 points for France.

Italy gives its 12 points to Lithuania. No points for Switzerland from them!

Now it's just the UK blank.

Slovenia to Italy.

Juries don't like Ukraine. :-(

Greece...making us try not to boo by having a child tell us that the points are going to Cyprus.

Latvia with Aminata of course. 12 points go to Switzerland.

Ireland to France.

Moldova epic saxing us. Epic saxing Bulgaria too.

Serbia to France.

Bulgaria to Moldova. Ugh.

Cyprus ...should've used a child. Even the crowd is all "Greece, duh."

Belgium to Switzerland. It's almost like they have something against France, LOL.

Banter with Switzerland. Banter with France. No cringe. Practically no cringe in these interviews. They're adorable.

On a side note, my HVAC is dying on a 90 degree day.

Germany to France.

UK still sitting on a jury egg.

Australia to Malta.

Finland to Switzerland.

Portugal to Bulgaria.

Ukraine to Italy. Love the 0 points to Russia there.

Iceland. LOL. LOL. LOL. Of course a "Jaja Ding Dong" reference. Switzerland for them.

Romania to Malta.

Without televotes this stuff is almost meaningless. I can't imagine France getting the televotes.

Croatia to Italy.

Czech Republic to...like who would they.. oh Portugal. Of course. LOL.

Georgia to Italy.

Lithuania to Ukraine.

Denmark to Switzerland.

Top 5: Switzerland, France, Malta, Italy and Iceland.

"A Million Voices" Polina telling us Russia is giving their points to Moldova. Lots of side-eye from me.

France can't give points to themself so.... Greece. I... I... don't know.

Sweden with Carola. OMG Carola....why so much talking? Did she take something? Or drink something? She's on something. Gives their points to Malta.

Switzerland gives point to France. Most anticlimatic points reveal.

The Netherlands gives its points to France.

UK with ZERO points from juries.

Switzerland, France, Malta, Italy, Iceland.

We don't see the jury performances so...like... I dunno.

Gonna waste time in the Green Room again before the televote reveal. Talking with Switzerland... meaning that Gjon gets to replace John Lundvik as the face of losing if they don't get enough votes.

TELEVOTE TIME!

I hope this goes fast. And they're revealing these in the order of jury votes, least to most. So maybe a different face of losing.

UK with 0 points. OUCH! And they didn't genocide anyone this year! James Newman being a sport.

Germany with 0 points.

Spain with 0 points.

Netherlands with 0 points.

LMAO. I don't think I've ever seen this.

Norway with 60 points.

Serbia with 82 points.

Albania with 35 points.

Azerbaijan with 33 points.

San Marino with 13 points...even with Flo Rida!!!

Sweden with 63 points?

Cyprus with 44 points.

Moldova with 62 points.

Lithuania with 165 points!!!

Belgium with 3 points. Hooverphonic with only 3 points. Better than zero. But totally a jury thing their SF result was.

20 points to Israel.

Finland with 218. Shocker that. For me. Not the public, of course. Now in first.

Greece with 79 points.

Ukraine with 267. Into the lead.

Russia with 100 points.

Portugal with 27.

Bulgaria with 30 points.

Iceland with 180 points...and in 1st.

Italy with 318 points.

Malta with 47 points.

France with 251 points. Into 2nd.

Switzerland with 160 points.

Winner is Italy. So Switzerland is the new face of losing.

Televote alone it's Italy, Ukraine, France, Finland, Iceland, Lithuania, Switzerland, and Russia with 100 or more points. Serbia and Greece rounding out the top 10 in televote.

Surprised and delighted that the public gave all those votes to France. I was not expecting that at all.

In the breakdowns I really would like to see if their are any public correlations between folks who votes Italy/Finland or France/Switzerland.

[flattired]

(     JACOB ELORDI,   CIS  MAN,   HE / HIM     —     oh  gosh,  sorry  THOMAS  “TOMMY”  BARNETT !  i  didn't  see  you  there !  y'know,  i  can't  believe  you're  already  TWENTY FIVE  years  old;  seems  like  just  yesterday  you  were  tripping  over  yourself,  or  was  that  yesterday ?  just  kidding,  just  kidding  !  anyway,  i  hear  that  you've  been  here  since  1978,  or  so  you  think;  congratulations  !  at  least  that  shining  OBLIGING  personality  of  yours  hasn't  changed  a  bit,  especially  that  LOYAL  +  AMICABLE,  but  FOOLISH  +  RESTLESS  way  about  you.  look,  i  gotta  get  back  to  the  group,  but  i'll  see  you  around  !

        hello,  hello!  my  name  is  rion,  though  at  this  point  you  might  know  be  better  as  admin  jay  on  the  main!  i...  i  just  need  you  guys  to  know  how  absolutely  excited  i  am  that  you’re  all  here.  lilah  will  tell  you  that  basically  every  time  we  got  an  app  she  had  to  listen  to  me  say  holy  shit  again.  we  also  sent  each  other  the  paul  rudd  ‘  hey,  look  at  us  ’  video  a  lot.  it  just  really  means  the  world  to  us  that  you  guys  took  the  time  to  join  this  and  we  hope  you  enjoy  what  we  have  planned.  so  yeah!  mush  out  of  the  way,  let  me  introduce  you  to  the  sweet  but  easily  lead  astray,  tommy  barnett.

full  name :   thomas  barnett

age  upon  check  in :   twenty  five

gender  &  pronouns :   cis  man  &  he / him

trait :   obliging 

personality :   loyal,  amicable,  foolish,  restless

aesthetic :   survival  came  thanks  to  quick  hands,  the  ability  to  stay  upright  despite  the  strikes,  and  an  uncanny  ability  to  find  friends  in  high  places   (   just  like  you  were  taught   )   —   let  them  pull  you  up,  believe  that’s  what  they’re  doing,  and  repay  that  kindness  with  service.  a  well  worn  deck  of  cards  dictates  the  shape  of  your  back  pocket,  the  faces  of  queens  and  jacks  rubbed  soft  to  the  touch  by  your  left  thumb.  brother  was  a  soldier,  you  were  conscripted  to  a  different  brotherhood,  orange  prescription  bottles  standing  at  attention,  waiting  to  be  carried  off  by  you.  marked  body,  both  for  lust  and  anger.  low  expectations  allow  one  to  slip  through  life  unnoticed ;  that’s  an  asset,  not  a  concern.  just  keep  your  mouth  shut,  kid,  your  comforts  come  at  a  certain  price.

WHO  ARE  YOU ?

         tw.  parental  neglect,  toxic  relationships,  verbal  abuse,  drugs  /  drug  dealing

thomas  barnett  was  the  younger  of  two  sons  born  to  eliza  and  charles  barnett,  a  dysfunctional  couple  living  just  above  the  poverty  line.  tommy  grew  up  learning  how  to  avoid  their  often  explosive  arguments,  which  often  spilled  onto  those  around  them   (   skills  include:  knowing  which  way  you  could  walk  pass  the  kitchen  without  being  noticed,  which  window  opened  without  squeaking,  which  headphones  were  worth  saving  up  for  because  they  actually  blocked  sound  like  they  claimed   ).  thankfully,  tommy  was  not  alone  in  this,  he  had  james:  an  older  brother  who  faithfully  looked  after  him  in  ways  their  parents  never  did.  without  james,  it’s  unclear  where  tommy  would  be  now.

he  was  never  seen  as  the  smartest  child.  liked  by  teachers  when  he  was  young  for  being  kind  at  heart,  but  it  took  him  more  time  than  others  to  grasp  concepts  they  were  teaching.  he  struggled  to  pay  attention,  and  as  he  grew  older   kind   didn’t  seem  to  be  enough  anymore  when  compared  against  his  struggles  to  focus  or  retain.  he  skidded  by  in  school,  passing  by  the  skin  of  his  teeth,  his  parents  far  too  preoccupied  with  the  bills  they  couldn’t  pay  and  their  anger  with  each  other  to  notice  how  their  younger  son  was  struggling.  tommy  didn’t  care  enough  to  seek  out  help  on  his  own,  frustrated  with  the  way  academic  pursuits  made  him  feel,  and  while  james  was  doing  his  best,  there  was  only  so  much  he  could  do.

tommy  was  fifteen  when  james  was  conscripted,  and  suddenly  he  was  on  his  own.  that  buffer  between  him  and  his  parents  was  in  one  of  the  carolinas,  attending  basic,  and  tommy  was  forced  to  bare  the  brunt  of  their  anger  that  spilled  over.  they  used  him  as  a  tool  to  wound  each  other,   no  wonder  he’s  failing,  he’s  your  son,   but  tommy  was  the  one  who  ended  up  wearing  most  of  the  injuries.  yet,  it  would  not  be  the  last  time  would  become  a  weapon  for  someone  else.

he  would  find  new  excuses  to  spend  time  away  from  the  small  house  that  had  no  place  to  hide,  mostly  spending  time  at  various  friends’  houses,  but  when  a  teenage  boy  is  seeking  to  find  things  to  do  it  is  often  that  he’ll  find  himself  with  new  and  exciting  bad  habits.  he  started  smoking,  getting  into  fights  when  there  was  nothing  else  to  do,  and  eventually  helping  a  boy  named  davey  deal  drugs.

david,  davey  to  tommy    —    though  he  accepted  the  nickname  from  no  one  else,  was  the  other  constant  in  tommy’s  life  besides  james.  they  met  in  the  third  grade  and  davey  was  seemingly  everything  tommy  wasn’t.  people  thought  he  was  clever,  he  didn’t  worry  about  school,  and  as  far  as  tommy  could  tell,  davey  was  absolutely  loaded.  despite  the  differences,  they  were  fast  friends,  and  tommy  became  extremely  loyal  to  the  other  boy  over  the  years.  that’s  why,  when  davey  got  involved  in  some  things  that  were  less  than  legal,  tommy  found  himself  involved  as  well.

for  all  the  cleverness  davey  was  touted  to  have,  the  scheme  was  rather  simplistic.  maybe  that  was  the  genius  of  it  though.  davey’s  father  was  a  doctor,  a  psychiatrist  specifically,  and  apparently  it  was  easy  enough  to  pull  rx  pads  from  the  desk  within  their  home.  then  davey  would  fill  them  out  in  the  way  he  wanted  to,  forge  his  father’s  signature,  and  take  the  scripts  to  various  out  of  town  pharmacies  to  get  them  filled.  then  he,  with  the  help  of  tommy,  could  sell  them  at  a  premium.  

tommy  was  never  certain  why  davey  did  it,  but  for  tommy  it  was  about  achieving  a  bit  of  freedom,  independence.  the  deal  was  never  something  that  fits  who  he  was  at  heart,  especially  with  some  of  the  more  questionable  things  davey  did,  but  he  tried  not  to  think  about  that.  his  bartending  job  was  something  that  left  him  living  paycheck  to  paycheck,  but   this   ...   well,  it  let  him  move  out  of  his  parent’s  place,  and  it’s  the  first  time  he’s  just  had  cash  on  hand  without  having  to  think  about  it.  he  wouldn’t  like  to  admit  it,  but  there’s  also  something  about  the  excitement,  the  way  it  scratches  that  restless  itch  of  his,  that   (   in  addition  to  his  loyalty  to  davey   )   kept  him  in  the  game.

WHERE  &  WHEN  DID  YOU  CHECK  IN  ?

when  tommy  opened  the  door  to  his  room  the  next  morning  to  find  the  raven  house,  he  knew  instantly  something  had  changed.  it  wasn’t  hard  to  figure  out  considering  he  had  checked  into  a  motel  6  off  of  i - 95  the  night  before.  sure,  it  had  been  a  late  night  and  he  hadn’t  gotten  much  sleep,  but  when  you’re  expecting  to  step  out  onto  a  concrete  walkway   (   red  metal  railing  in  front  of  you,  a  half  empty  parking  lot  that  hosts  an  above  ground  pool  that  is  closed  for  the  season   )   and  are  instead  greeted  by  a  dark  hallway  and  someone  wearing  what   must   be  a  halloween  costume,  it  doesn’t  take  a  genius  to  tell  that  something  has  changed.  which  is  good,  considering  no  one  has  ever  accused  thomas  barnett  of  being  a  genius.  there  were  plenty  of  other  things  people  called  him,  and  he  tried  to  not  let  those  things  bother  him.

but  it  was  1978,  and  no  one  dressed  like  that  anymore.  at  least   ...   he  didn’t  think  anyone  did.

this  wasn’t  even  supposed  to  be  a  trip.  just  a  night  drive;  windows  down  in  his  car  and  recorded  cassettes  with  his  favorite  songs  playing  at  top  volume.  it  wasn’t  his  fault  he’d  lost  track  of  time  and  ended  up  further  from  home  than  he’d  planned.  now  he  was   ...   here,  wherever  here  was.  the  raven  house  didn’t  look  like  anything  he’d  ever  seen  before.  the  luxury  is  almost  off  putting  to  he  who  is  far  more  comfortable  in  dive  bars  and  parties  in  unfinished  basements.  it  reminded  him  of  davey’s  house,  almost,  a  place  that   (   despite  the  years  that  they  had  been  friends   )   tommy  never  felt  like  he  belonged  inside  of.

except,  this  was  even  nicer  than  that.

WHAT  WENT  WRONG  ?

        tw.  drugs  /  drug  dealing

a  flat  tire.

which  would  have  been   fine.   he  knew  how  to  change  a  flat  tire.  so  technically,  what  had  gone  wrong  was  that  he  also  got  a  flat  tire  three  months  before,  and  he’d  never  replaced  the  spare.

tommy  managed  to  pull  the  car  over,  and  upon  discovering  this  and  checking  the  time  on  the  car  radio,  he  decided  there  was  nothing  he  could  do  tonight.  a  neon  vacancy  sign  was  visible  from  where  he  was  standing,  and  he  was  sure  they  had  a  payphone  he  could  use  in  the  morning,  call  a friend  or  call  a  tow  truck.  it  would  be  fine  to  leave  the  car  here  until  then,  right?  of  course  it  would  be.

as  it  turned  out,  it  wouldn’t  really  matter.

there  was  a  bag  in  the  trunk,  something  inspired  both  by  his  occupation   (   occupation?  side  gig,  to  supplement  bartending,  to  help  out  his  friend...  it  was  just  pills   )   and  advice  from  his  older  brother.  james  had  seen  some  shit    —    or,  that’s  how  tommy  would  explain  it.  james  had  never  given  him  any  of  the  specifics,  so  he  had  none  to  pass  on.  inside  the  bag  were  the  essentials,  certainly  everything  he’d  need  for  a  one  night  stay  at  a  motel.  could  you  even  call  it  one  night  if  it  was  already  past  midnight?

WHY  WERE  YOU  BROUGHT  HERE  ?

it  might  be  easy  to  pin  tommy  as  the  extraverted  type,  but  the  truth  is  under  a  somewhat  loud  exterior,  there’s  a  kind  heart:  someone  who’s  loyal  and  easy  going  and  could  certainly  be  considered  obliging.  that’s  the  trait  that  brought  him  to  the  raven  house,  and  if  you  think  about  it  for  even  just  a  moment,  it’s  not  hard  to  see  why.  an  individual  who’s  never  a  leader,  always  the  support,  and  doesn’t  mind  it.  a  good  listener,  someone  who  will  do  anything  for  those  he  cares  for,  or  who’s  happy  just  to  play  the  music  a  little  louder  and  sing  along  with  you  if  that’s  what  you  need.  the  fights  he  used  to  get  into  were  just  something  to  do,  to  assuage  the  restles  spirit  that  needs  to  stay  occupied,  of  something  for  a  friend  wronged   (   though  this  definition  has  become  somewhat  muddled   ),  but  truthfully  he’s  good  natured  at  his  core.  he  knows  what  it  is  like  to  receive  help  when  you  need  it,  and  he’ll  return  that  favor  to  the  world  any  day.

WHICH  ITEM  IN  YOUR  POSSESSION  IS  THE  MOST  IMPORTANT  ?

it’s  just  a  deck  of  cards.  it’s  just  a  deck  of  cards  except  it  was  a  birthday  present  from  james.  it’s  just  a  deck  of  cards  but  they’ve  been  worn  soft  to  the  touch  by  the  repeated  pressure  of  being  rubbed  between  his  thumb  and  fingers.  he  used  to  do  card  tricks  with  them,  but  now  he’s  worried  they’ll tear.  a  new  deck  was  picked  up  in  the  lobby  convenience  store,  but  the  old  deck  is  important,  even  if  it  is  no  longer  useful.

   ...   WAS  THERE  ANYTHING  ELSE  ?

can  be  goaded  into  almost  anything  with  the  phrase   ‘   i  dare  you.   ’

is  the  guy  who  suggests  that  everyone  play  the  black  betty  game  at  parties,  and  feels  clever  when  he  explains  it.

will  kick  your  ass  at  a  game  of  quarters

was  an  obnoxious  car  signer.  his  ability  is  average,  the  issue  lies  in  his  inability  to  truly  focus  on  driving  at  the  same  time.

now  an  obnoxious  hotel  shower  singer.  my  apologies  to  whoever  has  the  room  next  to  him.

to  compound  that,  he  tends  to  keep  strange  hours.  time  isn’t  real  here,  but  his  body  is  still  on  the  schedule  of  his  bartending  job  and  mostly  nocturnal,  if  such  a  thing  is  possible  here.

has  argued  with  the  empty  other  side  of  the  bar  over  how  a  drink  is  made.

hates  the  feeling  of  being  cooped  up  here,  more  than  he  dislikes  the  issue  of  time.  he  used  to  drive  a  lot  and  has  replaced  that  by  wandering  the  floors  of  the  hotel.

[fletcherr]

hi ! i’m maren and i’m bad at intros ! and bios ! and things in general ! ... why am i here again ? uhm. anyway ! this is fletcher and uh ... he hates it here askdjfs like i can’t lie i’m so sorry but for the time being it’s ... lowkey the truth ? i’m writing this part of the post first so fingers crossed i manage to keep this short and to the point. if there’s no tldr it’s because this was supposed to be it. ( spoiler ; i failed. it’s so fucking long you literally do not have to read it i am so sorry. ) i’m super excited to be here and cannot wait to get to know you and your muses and be a part of this amazing group !!

THE APP !

˖ °╰ ⌜ [ MUSE TEN, ROBERT PATTINSON, 31, CIS MALE, HE/HIM ] hey, have you seen FLETCHER DUNCAN ? last time i saw them i think they were hanging around THE ROOFTOP. they can kind of be VEHEMENT but can also be pretty HAUGHTY. they’re often caught listening to SUPERSTAR SH*T - DOMINIC FIKE ! they also tend to remind me of cheap cigarettes put out in still half full glasses of rare bourbon, flipping off paparazzi, showing up to important meetings bleary-eyed and twenty minutes late, wearing sunglasses inside and black hoodies on the hottest day of summer, feeling uninspired for months then writing three albums worth of songs in two weeks ! let me know if you’ve seen them around, they’ve been working at the championship around FOUR MONTHS and they’re late for their shift !

THE BASICS !

full name: fletcher ralph duncan ( born fletcher ralph irvine )

nicknames: prefers fletcher, but is okay with fletch or duncan

date of birth: november 18th, 1989

gender: cis male

pronouns: he / him

height: 6′1

tattoos: some stupid ones without any deeper meaning to them on his arms and thighs, for sure

THE ( VERY ) IN - DEPTH ! tw for mentions of abuse of drugs and alcohol, terminal illness, hospitals, and death

after years of marriage, fletcher’s parents had him when they were both about to enter their forties, as one last, final attempt to find back to the love they’d had for each other when they started dating way back in high school. it didn’t work. his father left  when fletcher was four; leaving divorce papers on the kitchen table two weeks before christmas. him and his mother, winnie, moved from one of the suburbs to a smaller, more affordable apartment in brooklyn. they were never quite comfortable, money-wise, but they didn’t struggle either. two years after the move, his mother started seeing a guy she’d been introduced to through friends from work. fletcher adored richard from the first time they met, and as the years went by he came to consider him more of a dad than he ever did the one who left. that’s probably why he didn’t mourn when his father passed suddenly and unexpectedly the summer he turned ten. the following summer, winnie and richard married, and both her and fletcher completely rid themselves of the man who walked out on them when they both changed their last name from his to richard’s - duncan.

when richard moved in, he’d brought an electric guitar and a sparse record collection with him. these were fletcher’s first real introduction to music. he dove in head first. there’s no telling how many evenings they sat in the living room, records playing, or fletcher practicing on the guitar until he was caught up with his dad’s guitar skills. turns out, he was actually a bit of a natural. after he’d mastered his first instrument, he moved onto another. his mother - who’d been a classically trained, lifetimes ago - taught him to the best of her ability on a keyboard they got from a yard sale. he spent hours at a time in record stores. championship vinyl had always been richard’s favorite, and it wasn’t long until it was his favorite too. consuming music wasn’t enough, though. by the time he was in high school, fletcher was writing his own songs; creating his own music. of course - none of it was ever remotely up to par with the songs he kept discovering, but it didn’t matter. him and two kindred spirits he met at school formed a band, performing covers and the stuff he wrote. to afford actual gig gear - not that they ever booked many of those - fletcher applied for a part time job the only place he could think to; championship vinyl. though he'd been a regular for the better part of a decade by that time, he was still in disbelief and awe when he got the job.

fletcher thrived at championship. he took on all the shifts his schedule would allow him, and even skipped class to cover for anyone that asked. even when he was off the clock, he’d hang around. if he wasn’t flicking through new inventory or catching up with the whoever was at work, he’d be sitting on the rooftop with his guitar, a pen and a roll of receipt paper - scratching down song ideas and testing out new material. things were looking up; he was a creatively fulfilled high school senior with a job he loved, parents that supported- and loved him unconditionally, and he’d just been accepted into nyu. therefore, it rocked his world when his dad stopped by during one of his shifts, only to collapse while fletcher had his back turned to find a rare vinyl he’d set aside for him as a surprise. 

the diagnosis was a death sentence. months flew by in the blink of an eye, and he watched the only dad he’d ever truly known wither away before his eyes. weeks shy of a year to the date of the diagnosis, on the day richard duncan passed away, his son brought the old record player and the by now weathered records from the brooklyn apartment to the hospital room. he drew his last breath surrounded by the music and the family he loved.

not recently having gone through the same kind of world crumbling sorrow and the revelation about not wasting away and following your dreams that walks that’s bound to follow, his bandmates weren’t all that keen on the plan fletcher presented them with; movin to la and making it in music. really making it. with one of three members hellbent on leaving, the band broke up. they never could agree on a name, anyway. he turned in his resignation at championship, and jokingly promised james namsen to not come back until he’d won a grammy. winnie, though heartbroken to first lose the love of her life, and now having her son move away, had nothing but support and encouragement to offer when he announced he’d be dropping out of college to pursue music.

the first two years, nothing happened. he was living and working in downtown la; the apartment he shared with four roommates was just shy of being a shoebox, and the franchise record  store he eventually scored a job at lacked the soul and the hum of energy he was used to from championship back in new york. just as ambition and hope was wearing thin, things were starting to look up for him. he was meeting the right people in the right places, at the right times. after opening for a few up and coming acts, he was approached by a manager, who in turn introduced him to a few labels. though he was very aware he wasn’t a strong vocalist, he was confident in himself as a musician and a songwriter, and it seemed so was the internationally renowned label that ended up offering him a contract. his first single dropped not even a year later, soon followed by his debut album.

though his star was slowly rising, the album made only a miniscule splash. he toured it as an opening act and played a handful of shows on each coast. going back into the studio to work on the next album felt different. making the first one hadn’t felt authentic. not the process, nor the result. he’d been too agreeable; too eager to please and too eager to show he was worth everyone’s time and money. this time around, he was more assertive and demanded more control over the creative process. less co-writers were brought in, and he now had a say in which producers he worked with. his sophomore album released to generally positive reviews and ratings, but it seemed that would be it. then, almost over night, his shit was doing numbers. big numbers. 

sure - his label was running some promo for his sophomore album, but it seemed most people were catching wind of his stuff by word of mouth. people were actually buying his albums. both of them. when tickets to his second headline tour went on sale, they sold out in days. dates were added and venues were upgraded to answer the growing demand for tickets as more and more people found his music. he was playing famous venues now; legendary venues. festivals with hundreds of thousands of attendees. all over the country. all over the world. if he didn’t have a microphone or a guitar in his hand, he had a beer. or vodka. maybe whiskey. sometimes a joint, sometimes pills. he was at parties, then he was hosting parties. then he was at parties hosted in his honor. for the first time in his life, he had money. hard, real, fuck you money. he paid off the student loan he’d racked up during his one year stint at nyu, and the mortgage on the apartment he’d grown up in. he bought a house in beverly hills, and a two story apartment in brooklyn - both of which had shelves custom made for the gilded statuettes and trophies declaring him to be the best in a slew of categories. he’d done it. he was twenty-six and on top of the world. invincible. and then his mom's heart gave out.

for the three years that followed, his career suffered as he partied harder. friends he’d known for years disappeared, and were replaced with new faces that all blurred together. there were scandals, but they too were all a blur - leaked pictures and videos; shows he decided last minute he didn’t wanna do; shows he couldn’t do because he showed up too far gone to stand upright. people who got too close to him on one of the bad days, who’s faces he scarred forever. arrests, and settlements made outside of court. the label was getting antsy too, and when it passed the two year mark of the last time he’d set foot in the studio, his team - headed by the same manager that been with him through it all; that’d seen potential and believed in him all those years ago - pleaded with him to get help. begrudgingly, fletcher agreed. after a few months at rehab, he returned - clean, and determined to get back to work. the process was longwinded and intense, but the finished product was, in his eyes, solid gold. and - luckily? surprisingly? - the world at large agreed.

he toured the album with dates booked at relatively smaller venues this time around, but everywhere was packed full to the brim with people. throughout the time working on the album he’d been doing okay; staying sober and surrounding himself with good intentioned people. but being back on the road took a toll on him he hadn’t expected, and it didn’t take long for him to turn to alcohol when it was so easily accessible all around him, at all times. still, things were fine, and he was even relearning to appreciate the electric energy of performing live in front of an audience. to celebrate the last show of the us leg of the tour, the label threw an afterparty for the band, the team, the crew, and their friends. as people were starting to leaving the venue, fletcher sent some members of his band and a couple of their friends ahead with a key to his suite at a hotel nearby, while he thanked the label executives that’d been at the show. when he showed up, a glass was shoved into his hand, and as the party picked back up, someone got out the pills they’d kept at the bottom of their pocket all night. when offered, fletcher - on top of the world once more - accepted. 

someone snitched. and to the media, no less. when confronted by his team, he denied it. after being open about his struggle to overcome addiction, something like this would be damning for the reputation he’d rebuilt over the last two years. which is why he lied through his teeth. but then the videos from the suite appeared online, and his ruse was up. the rest of the tour was cancelled, and after completing a thirty day program, he was back in brooklyn.

it took some convincing, but he eventually went along with the ‘find back to your roots by returning to where it all started’ plan his team had cooked up. he also agreed to let someone else run his social media accounts for the time being. how his manager had gotten him a job at championship, fletcher didn’t know. he suspected a monthly bribe the size of his paycheck and then some was involved. but then again, he’d never known james namsen to be that kind of guy. for the first few weeks, he showed up for his shifts - sometimes on time, sometimes not - kept his head down, tried to engage with as few customers and co-workers as possible, then ditched as soon as he was off the clock. but there’d always been something special about the record store on the corner of bedford and sterling. soon enough, he began occasionally going up to the rooftop once his shift was over. approaching customers to offer his service before they approached him. show up early to catch up with whoever was working the shift before him. if he was having a particularly good day, he’d stop by to hang around even if he wasn’t on the schedule. he was well aware he wasn’t always easy to be around - years of living the high life and putting up walls having made him cynical, and standoffish, and discourteous. even if the boy he’d been when he walked out of there years ago was long gone, championship vinyl had stayed the same. and though fletcher’s yet to admit it, being back felt like being home. 

[purplesurveys]

1128

[created by: pinkchocolate]

When was the last time you were surprised, in a pleasant way? Wednesday when Bea had food delivered to my house. One of our clients was hosting a roundtable session and our task was to order food to be delivered to the attendees’ house, and it turns out she snuck in an order for me as well. 

It was super touching and I tried to do a nice deed yesterday by getting food for her as well; but as I mentioned on my previous survey, I got paired with a scammer delivery guy instead who ended up stealing my order...that I already paid for... :( It was such a flop and I ended up having to give away the surprise to Bea since I had to check if she received it, and that’s when I learned she never got anything. I’ll try again next week or whenever I get my money refunded, hahaha.

What color was the last fruit or vegetable that you ate? Green (green onion).

Is there a compliment you've received, that sticks in your mind? I like it whenever I’m told I write well, since that’s my main talent and it’s always nice to be complimented on my skills.

The last time you received a gift, what did the wrapping paper look like? I have no idea but probably red/green and holiday-themed since it most likely had been a Christmas gift.

What was the last book you read? Did you enjoy it? Not reading anything.

If so, what did you specifically like about it?

Anyone you haven't talked to in a while, that you'd like to hear from? Not really. It’d be cool to hang out with Sofie again because I haven’t seen her since our little trip to Nasugbu, but I’m not necessarily waiting on a message from them.

When you were a kid, did you own any accessories with your name on? Probably a bracelet.

Do you own any items of clothing that you haven't yet worn? Yup. I got a yellow romper from one of my aunts for Christmas, but I haven’t had the chance to wear it yet. It’s short and airy, so I’ll probably pull it out once the climate gets warmer again.

Were you awake before 8am today? Yeah, I got up at 4:30 earlier even though I fell asleep at like midnight. I think my body understands that my brain wants me to get as little sleep as possible during weekends so I can maximize my free time, so it woke me up by then.

Is there any food in your house at the moment, that you're looking forward to eating? I still have some of the chicken wings that Bea ordered for me. She got such a huge order and it’s taking me forever to finish the damn box of wings lol.

Is there anyone you know who dislikes the Internet, technology etc.? My grandma refuses to learn how to use a phone or laptop. Which confuses me because usually she’ll ask my mom to relay a message to one of her friends who are on Facebook, and my mom ends up playing messenger. Like pls just get at least a Facebook account if you want to keep keeping in touch with your acquaintances anyway :(((

Name any item in your bedroom that is blue. Trying to remember what’s in my room since I’m currently staying in the living room...and I think I have push pins that are blue.

Is there an ice-cream flavor that you strongly dislike? Which one? Rocky road and Double Dutch. Marshmallows and/or nuts in my ice cream is a big nope.

Are there any cat cafes in your hometown? There could be but I’ve heard little of them. I’m more aware of existing dog cafes.

Do you own any books with an image of a cat on the front cover? I doubt it.

Does anything you own have an image of a bird on it? It’s possible, but again I’m not in my room to check if that’s the case.

Do you know anyone named Abigail? Yes, my mom.

Do you ever use flavored lip balms? I don’t use lip balms at all.

^ If you do, what flavors do you like the most? Kate once had a peanut butter lip scrub that I loooooved to borrow. Other than that, the strawberry ones are nice too.

Does anyone you know own a spaniel? How about an Irish setter? My great-aunt once had a spaniel. Not sure about Irish setters.

What are your plans for the remainder of today? I wanna eat at La Creperie and spoil myself a litle bit, but we’ll see if I’ll have the energy to drive to the mall today. I’ll also have some work to do since we have a presentation on Monday :(

--

[created by: pinkchocolate]

Have you met somebody that you want to spend the rest of your life with? Yeah, ideally that would’ve been the case but they thought differently. I admittedly still feel the same, but I’ve also since been able to move on and move forward. If that makes sense.

Who was your closest friend when you were 7 years old? Do you still speak to that person? I actually met Angela when we were 7. And yes, we’re still the best of friends. I just shot a birthday greeting video for her mom last night.

Who was the last male you talked to? Does he have facial hair? Technically it was Cooper, but the last male person had been my dad. He does but for the most part he keeps it to a stubble.

How many times does the letter 'R' occur in your full name? Twice; in my first name and in my surname.

Is there anyone you love, whose name starts with 'S'? Sure, I can think of a couple of relatives whose names start with S.

What color is your TV remote? I haven’t used a remote in ages lmao, but if I remember correctly ours is mainly black.

When was the last time you went to a wedding? Who got married? 2007. My uncle and his then-girlfriend, who of course became my aunt when they wed. We’ve since had relatives who got married after that period, but for all those occasions only my parents received an invitation. It’s understandable though, I know they want to save up on costs and stuff.

Name a band you like, that starts with the 2nd letter of your name. One Direction is the only group coming to mind.

Have you ever dressed up as a Disney character? Which one? My 7th birthday gown was inspired by Cinderella’s, but it wasn’t the same exact dress as it was orange.

Have you ever played chess? If so, are you good at it? No. I’ve never been able to understand the rules.

If I wanted to buy you a chocolate bar, what kind should I NOT get? Mr. Goodbar has always been the least exciting chocolate to get hahaha.

Of all your close friends, who have you known the longest? Angela.

Do you own anything that has an image of a butterfly on it? Again, I could. I can’t think of any particular item, though.

Has anyone told you recently that they miss you? Yes, orgmates for the most part.

What was the last song you heard, that made you feel emotional? HYD by Hayley Williams.

What color are the socks you're currently wearing? I’m not wearing any socks right now. < Me neither.

How many friends do you have whose name starts with the letter 'R'? Just Rita.

How many vowels are there in your first name? One. Two if you count y.

When was the last time you took a selfie? Last Saturday, I think.

Name someone you know who has curly hair. Andi.

Have you ever worn orange eye-shadow? Never tried.

Name a song that reminds you of someone close to you. Be Alright by Dean Lewis.

Has anyone ever walked out of your life with no explanation? Yeah but they tried very poorly to keep in touch. It ended up being detrimental to me more than anything else so I took the initiative to be one step ahead and cut ties altogether.

Do you know anyone else with the same first name as you? I can think of one Robyn and one Robin.

Think back to 10 years ago. What TV show(s) were you into? Wrestling programs were all I watched as a 13 year old.

Do you have a favorite T-shirt? What color is it? Yes, one of my wrestling shirts. It’s predominantly white but it has some black and red on it as well.

As a child, did you ever have any scented gel pens or markers? Yessssssss. I spent more time sniffing them than writing with them too, lol.

Name an alcoholic beverage that you dislike. I find whiskey pretty nasty. I hate beer as well but sometimes I gotta drink it, especially when socializing.

Do you own anything that previously belonged to someone else? I wouldn’t say I own them; they do belong to the original owner and I’m just still borrowing them.

Who is the 8th contact in your phone? How did you meet them? That would be Angela haha; we met when we got assigned to be seatmates in 1st grade since our surnames were arranged alphabetically in class.

Is there anyone who sends you messages to say good morning/night? No.

Can you recall the last time you were on a dance floor? March 2020, at a club with mostly Hans’s friends.

Have you ever let someone go, and then regretted it? No.

Do you own any color changing mood jewelry? Nope and I don’t believe in those either so I don’t see a reason why I should get my own.

--

[created by: pinkchocolate]

Was there anything that you planned to do today, but didn't? It’s only 7:06 AM so I’ll refer to my plans yesterday instead – I wanted to continue working on a Google Slides presentation by nighttime, but I was so tired from my shift yesterday and even got a migraine that I never got around to it. I’ll have to work on it this weekend instead.

Is there anyone you interact with often on social media but not in person? I mean, hasn’t this been the case over the last year with the pandemic? I communicate mainly through social media now, if not through IM apps like Viber.

What color box does your favorite cereal come in? Don’t really like cereal. The closest thing I have to a ‘favorite,’ Cookie Crisps, comes in a white box, though.

Do you have any plates, dishes, mugs etc. with pretty illustrations on them? Nah, don’t really like printed stuff. Angela had a customized Friends-themed mug made for me but I wouldn’t call it an ~illustration, since the main design is just my name styled in the Friends logo.

Does anywhere on your body currently hurt, or feel sore? I actually took a break from this survey to take Cooper for a walk, and I think I can confirm that I definitely have some kind of allergy to grass. My legs were super irritated the whole time and my skin has since turned reddish.

What is your favorite snack to eat with a hot beverage? Croissants.

Is there any advice you have been given, that sticks in your mind? “Let your healing take time,” from Andi. He also accompanied it the advice with an anecdote about this basketball player who insisted on playing even while he was still dealing with an injury, and playing only aggravated that injury so he was forced to sit out for an even longer time than what was initially set for him. That was really helpful and I keep it close to me to this day.

What's the nicest advice you have ever been given about love/relationships? Know when it’s enough and when to leave, and be kind to yourself.

Do you own any adult coloring books? What kind(s) do you like? Yeah, I have like three thick ones. I just haven’t gotten the chance to touch them because for the meantime I only have cheap coloring pencils that start to get dull after a few strokes. I’ve yet to buy a more premium set of pencils.

When was the last time you got some new headphones? Headphones would be 2013 when my dad got me a pair of Beats. Not a big user so I haven’t felt the need to get new ones.

Is there a lamp in your living room? What color is its shade? No but my mom has wanting to get one for a while. She just can’t seem to find one that she likes.

Do you know anyone whose name starts with the letter X? I went to high school with a Xenia. Super nice guy; we were close friends for a while since we were seatmates, and our friend groups also overlapped.

Have you eaten any rice or pasta today? Not yet. I will definitely be eating rice though, because Philippines.

Name a food that you dislike the texture of. I don’t like rice pudding at all, or oatmeal. But those are also taste issues as well as texture issues. < Oooh, oatmeal is a good one. I also could never enjoy marshmallows in my ice cream.

Which of your friends do you confide in the most? Angela.

Have you ever fallen out of love with someone? I wouldn’t say that. There will still always be a part of me that has some sort of feelings for my exes. But the extent to which I love them/care about them fades over time, thankfully. < Yeah, exactly.

^ If so, why do you think that happened?

If you have pets, do you talk to them? Sure.

Are there any TV shows that you strongly dislike, but others seem to love? I tried to get into Grey’s Anatomy or Glee on Netflix, because they were “popular”, but I tried a few episodes, and just couldn’t seem to get into them. < OMG same again, especially with Grey’s??? I tried watching it a couple of weeks ago but I noped out as soon as I heard how poppish the theme song was. I’ve always thought it was a serious drama show but it turned out to have so many teen show elements to it that I was definitely taken aback. The script and some of the acting also kind of sucked, so that was a letdown.

Is there anything you haven't done lately, that you'd like to do soon? Coloring.

Do you own any T-shirts with brand logos on them? Yes, my dad got me a Vegemite shirt from his last contract abroad hahah. He was staying in Australia and I asked him to get a jar of Vegemite so I can finally have a taste, but I think he was scared that I’d hate it and end up throwing out the whole jar so he just got me a shirt instead lol. I’ve also got a Nike shirt somewhere in my closet.

Have you experienced any kind of food cravings lately? Surprisingly not. I’ve been longing to eat at La Creperie again but I’m not craving for anything particular.

Have you watched or read the news today? I watch the news every weeknight since we have it on during dinner.

Describe the cover illustration of the book closest to you. Can’t see any books near me.

Are there any take-away or fast food places close to your house? There’s a McDonald’s literally beside our village, and beside it are a Shakey’s and a Dunkin’ Donuts. There’s also a Burger King right across. If you drive for like five more seconds, there’ll also be a Starbucks.

^ If so, do you ever order food from any of them? Only from Starbucks. I don’t really get fast food anymore.

Is there anything happening tomorrow, that you're looking forward to? Nothing yet so far.

[gamingra984]

What components do i need to build a gaming computer

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[ankcna-blog]

hello guys !! i’m blaire, and i come to you with a VERY belated greeting !! i went to a skz concert a few days ago and as you would expect my life has been flipped upside down ever since !! but now that things are calming down, i’ve got things in order and would like to introduce you to my beloved weirdo kwanchai, more commonly known as dreamdrop’s choreographer KAI ! i’ve wanted to join you all for the longest and can’t wait to have some fun now that i’m finally here ! without further ado, you can find all his links here ( more to come ) as well as some important info about him below ! and of course, like this if you want to plot ! i’ll also be joining the discord very soon, so that’ll be an option too !

background !

from bangkok, thailand ! maybe it’s because of this he’s such a city boy and loves being around people, because that’s basically been his whole life ! in bangkok there were people around nearly all the time and now that he lives in seoul, it’s no different !

like his fc, he’s ethnically chinese but his nationality is thai ! honestly he feels more of a connection to his thai side because it’s the one he’s the most familiar with, though recently he’s been trying to connect with his chinese side. 

grew up around mainly girls, 3 older sisters and one younger ! his dad’s the only boy, but his parents are divorced. they still co-parented pretty functionally, though, so he mainly stayed with his mom and did weekly visits to his dad. he believes the heavy presence of females in his life is the reason he grew up to act a little more conventionally “feminine” and why he has such a high respect for women ! his sisters have always been .... v strong in comparison to him ojoijoijoij so it makes sense why !

his sister is the original dancer of the family, picking up ballet at only 5 years old ! she’s older than him so, wanting to follow in her shoes, he begged his parents to join as well !

his parents were v apprehensive at first, especially his dad, because they weren’t the most progressive and didn’t think a boy dancing ballet looed good. it took some convincing, but eventually they allowed him !

absolutely loved it, would come home dancing nearly every day. once they realized he was really enjoying himself and taking himself seriously he convinced them to add on tap and hip hop classes as well !

always been into american culture, he was always watching shows & listening to music from america, and that transferred into a general interest for the country ! so in high school, he studied abroad for a semester w / a host famiy !

this really helped his english skills and is the main reason he’s so fluent today, which definitely helps with his job ! it’s the reason he sounds less like a foreigner now when he’s speaking.

coincidentally, through america, he found an interest in korean culture ! his host family lived in california, which already was home to a lot of korean spots, but his host sibling was a kpop fan and got him into it ! so when he got back home to thailand he had gained an interest for it.

he started listening to a lot of the music, and at 17 made a very spontaneous decision to send in an audition tape to a company ! ( not noir, a smaller up-and-coming one probably ! )

he was .... incredibly shocked that he’d gotten in, but ecstatic for the chance to do what he loved ! not everyone was quite as ecstatic as him ... mainly his dad who thought his career choice was unfit for the one son of the family.

regardless, he packed up things and moved to korea, where he began to train to become an idol ! contrary to what he’d thought he kind of hated it lmao ! he had a super hard time trying to learn korean initially and didn’t deal too well with the stress of such a cutthroat environment. on top of that, he wasn’t favored by the company and they kept giving other trainees opportunities he didn’t have ! he didn’t like that because he felt he had the personality and drive, they just weren’t willing to take a chance on him. but he really loved the chance to perform alongside other passionate people and learn from them.

so it was a bittersweet moment when, at 18, he terminated his contract. he felt relieved with all that extra pressure off him e but was also sad to no longer be performing. he tried to lie and act like he didn’t to his family but eventually, they found out and his mom sent him back home to thailand. his dad was livid and promised that if he didn’t do something within 2 months to get a job he’d stop helping him out.

kwanchai wanted to keep dancing but still needed a job, so did the best thing he could think of ! a choreographer he’d met in seoul promised him a room in his house if he agreed to fly back to korea and start working as a sort of dance apprentice under him at a studio !

so, going back yet again, he agreed and made one of the best choices of his life ! he got a lot better and not only dance but teaching / choreographing it ! with this, he comfortably began to adjust to the country and learned a lot !

the more he was there, the more he realized how much he enjoyed choreographing ! his friend gave him the chance to begin creating dances from the studio and it was then he decided he wanted to do it as a career !

he didn’t want to feel like a burden at his friend’s for so long, so it was then he decided to apply for a job at noir as a choreographer, hoping to save up and buy his own place. he applied unsure if he’d really get it due to his short experience, but was ecstatic when he did !

the whole thing has proved to be one of the best choices of his life - he’s got a steady job that’s very fulfilling, he saved up enough for an apartment, and he gets to dance while maintaining the level of freedom he’d craved as a trainee !

personality / random tidbits !

his app summed it up well, he’s incredibly eccentric ! he’s just different in nearly every way and if told to do something one way, he’ll probably do it the other. 

his name is kwanchai, but ever since he was 17 he’s gone by kai, a shortened version of his full one ! it’s because it not only easier to pronounce for koreans but to his many american friends as well, and honestly it makes him feel less out of place as it’s a fairly universal name !

he’s super talkative, inherited from his sisters, but in turn is a very good listener ! so you’ll catch him either ranting about all his problems or listening to someone else doing the same.

naturally, he’s very fun and excitable ! rarely takes anything seriously, that is .... unless he’s dancing ! typically when teaching he likes to crack jokes and such to make the experience fun, but if it’s crunch-time he does a whole 180. when he has to he takes dancing very seriously, sometimes maybe even too much ! he may come off as controlling but in reality he’s just very passionate and a true perfectionist in terms of technique. 

speaking of dancing, seeing him do it is quite an amusing sight ! kind of like j-hope he’s always making noises when he does it, and always has some sort of noise or word that correlates with his dance move ! def the type to say “and jazz hands !!”

maybe it helps, maybe it sounds stupid ! but since he has such a horrible memory it does tend to help him out a lot.

his hair right now is dyed, and the best reference i can give you is the john’s banana video lmao !! he keeps it pretty short to keep it out his face when he dances, and tbh his hai is a different color all the time !

he has a food blog, “rate what i ate”, where he does food reviews for restaurants ! it’s really fun for him because he loves to eat and has a very strong opinion on nearly everything. muses feel free to come eat with him, he’ll never say no to a dining buddy !

aside from that he has general social media and an ig where he posts short dance covers ! thinking about starting a yt cover channel.

coffee is his everything. he’s got a horrible sleep schedule, staying up late and having to wake up early ! but coffee is the one thing that gets him through, and no matter what time of the day he can always be found with his favorite cup in his hand.

remember how his app said power poses ? well it’s something kai actually does ! every morning and before doing something important he stands in a power pose for 5 minutes, saying affirmations rather dramatically. that alongside his guided meditation obsession makes kai in the morning time quite the amusing sight.

he has a black bombay cat affectionately named luna ! she’s his daughter whom he loves very very much and would die for. a total sweetheart who will accept all love, muses feel free to pet !

even though he’s fairly happy somewhat out the spotlight, he still has the idol mentality, and definitely has the whole charming personality thing going on ! he’s a whole personality and it’s almost a sin he didn’t become a talkshow host, but i assume he’d have a small following because of it ! not dreamdrop level of course, but a little bit of recognition !

that’s all i can thin of right now, that and i don’t want to keep you all waiting for this intro for too long ! i’ll add more as i see fit, and again, i can’t wait to meet you all !

[skyyclad-observer]

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[astonishinglegends]

Ep 203: The Beast of Gévaudan

“This animal is a monster whose father is a lion; it remains open what the mother is.”

– Dragoon Captain John-Baptiste Boulanger Duhamel, speculating on the origins of La Bête du Gévaudan in January of 1765.

Description:

In the years between 1764 and 1767, a real-life monster had brutally savaged the residents of the former province of Gévaudan in the highland region of south-central France. While the creature's first attack was reportedly unsuccessful in killing its intended victim, it did provide a horrific description of it. Some sort of massive, canine-like creature was stalking the villagers out in their fields of the Margeride mountains. And it would remain as elusive as its killing spree grew nightmarishly effective. In a three-year span, contemporary and modern estimates put the death toll anywhere from around 100 to 500 people, mostly women, and children. To add to the fear and suffering, these were no ordinary large animal predator attacks. Considering that only a small percentage of the victims were found partially consumed, with livestock untouched, the bodies of all were so shockingly mutilated that it could be surmised this abomination of nature was not killing out of hunger but for sport. As news of the relentless slaughter spread throughout France, tens of thousands from every walk of life, peasants, soldiers, and noblemen alike, joined in the hunt to stop this menace. Reports had even reached Versaille, where King Louis XV had placed a large bounty on its head. When survivors and eyewitnesses had given their statements, a puzzling picture of the beast emerged. Although many accounts described this creature as having some features like an abnormally large wolf, or wolf-dog hybrid, other details combined didn't fit any known animal. It was also described as the size of a calf or donkey, with reddish hair and a black stripe down its back, giant, razor-sharp teeth set in the gaping mouth of a pig-like head, a tail with a tuft on its end, and talons on its feet. This being was shot and wounded on several occasions at close range only to escape and kill again, adding a supernatural element to the legend. Many believed then as they do now that this animal must have been a canine mutation of some sort. However, without the descriptor of "werewolf" or "skinwalker" added to the story, saying it was just a vicious, big dog leaves an unsatisfactory conclusion. With no remains or taxonomy to define this murderous freak, the only name that could be given to it then is the one that remains today: The Beast of Gévaudan.

Reference Links:

Scrying on Wikipedia

The 1992 motion picture, The Crying Game

Samhain

Lori Williams’ Controlled Remote Viewing website IntuitiveSpecialists.com

Russell Targ

Crystal Gazing – Its History and Practice, with a Discussion of the Evidence for Telepathic Scrying, by Northcote W. Thomas, M.A.

Benjamin, from the Old Testament or “Hebrew Bible”

“The Forgotten Art of Scrying” by Fernando S. Gallegos on ExploringTraditions.com

Bernardino de Sahagún

Moctezuma II

Nostradamus

John Dee

Edward Kelley

“Notes on John Dee’s Aztec Mirror” by Ed Simon on NorthernRenaissance.org

Horace Walpole

“Making a Sigilum Dei Aemeth out of Wax [Esoteric Saturdays]” on YouTube

Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn

Thelema

“Joseph Smith's "Magic" Glasses and Other Bizarre Objects from Mormonism” on ranker.com

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Credits:

Episode 203: The Beast of Gévaudan. Produced by Scott Philbrook & Forrest Burgess; Audio Editing by Sarah Vorhees Wendel. Sound Design by Ryan McCullough; Tess Pfeifle, Producer, and Lead Researcher; Research Support from the astonishing League of Astonishing Researchers, a.k.a. The Astonishing Research Corps, or "A.R.C." for short. Copyright 2021 Astonishing Legends Productions, LLC. All Rights Reserved.

[kyotakumrau]

2018.12.07 音流~ONRYU~ with Die

First they greet each other and comment on how many times Die came to the program before and that it has been a while. He apologizes it's always just him to which of course hosts protest.

(and excuse the rubbish quality of screenshots, the app didn't allow screenshots so I went old school and then couldn't be bothered to look for my laptop, so you get a picture of a picture quality 😂)

They look at photos from European tour in 2015 2018 (the view from his airplane seat, then tour bus). Die explains they usually get around Europe using such buses. There's no photo but Die explains that front of the bus has a 'lounge' with sofas where everyone can eat together etc. The middle and back of the bus has bunk beds. Onryu staff is surprised, but Die explains that abroad most bands tour using buses like that. "The bigger the band the bigger the bus".

Next photo is from the concert in Paris (2018). Hosts comment that the venue is like a painting, in gothic style, Die comments that even the backstage looks amazing, having a lot of sunlight and a balcony. The bathroom even had a bathtub (in Japan that's pretty important 😁), so Die could take a bath as soon as they arrived at the venue.

[featured music videos]

One of the hosts asked - you were touring a lot in Japan and abroad, did you have any incidents?

The top3 incidents when touring

Die: There were quite a few things until now. My number 3 will be from London in October (2018), during the show we had a problem with our computer so we had to stop/pause the show few times. We couldn't get it fixed, so we tried choosing songs we could play without computer backing, but for this tour we didn't have any extra songs. We had to create a totally new setlist from that point on, changing about half of it. But in the end all members enjoyed it.

Host: ドMだね/quite masochistic of you (Die and everyone laughs😂)

Die: As my number 2... a while ago when we were touring in the US, as I said before, abroad we tour using a bus, but that time our bus engine broke down on our way to Seattle. In the end we rented a van, staff and band members, all of us sqeeeeezed in tightly (everyone starts to giggle as Die tries to show how tight it was 😂). But even so, we didn't make it in time. Yet, the venue was not booked on the following day. So we moved our show. It's pretty unbelievable right? We knew not all fans could change their schedule, but we had to do that while feeling sorry for that.

Host: So what about number 1?

Die: Number 1 is really something else. It also happened in the US, I think it was 5 years ago? When we arrived at the Los Angeles airport and we were waiting for our bus there was an announcement to not leave the airport. There was a shooting incident, so the whole airport was shut down. The shooting took place at the domestic terminal, we were scheduled to take a flight to Texas from that terminal the following day. If our schedule was set one day different we would probably have been there.

Hosts: that's scary / there are many one day differences here. / going to various places brings different experiences / but the scale of trouble is totally different!

Next is 'part time job corner' - things you normally can't talk about.

Die: I have done many different part time jobs, but there was a time I worked at Amerikamura in Osaka, the shop is gone now, but I used to sell boots. Now you can buy Dr.Martens everywhere, but at that time you could only get them in that shop. There were so many customers you couldn't move around in the store. When a customer asks for a size you usually go to the stockroom to bring it for them, but that was actually hard, it was so crowded. So when I had a customer try on a bit tight fitting pair I told them that as it's leather it will stretch gradually so most people buy such fitting boots. If I had someone saying the size is a little bit big, I was telling them they should just tighten the laces... as 'most people do it that way'( everyone laughs). It was all because the shop was too crowded.

Host: like in military, your body should fit the uniform.

Die: Japanese people believe easily, if you say 'everyone buys it' they will buy it.

Last was a message from Die:

DIR EN GREY has released our 10th album 'The Insulated World'. And we will hold a tour with the same title that will start in spring next year. I hope you will come to experience the album live.