#of course the female writer might not be aware of it and be honest in her denial
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chaos-of-the-abyss · 16 hours ago
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i mean, i definitely don't disagree that beren and luthien -- and the rest of the lotr universe if we're being honest -- is full of misogyny and sexism. from the characters to the settings to a good part of the messaging, all of it operates from a patriarchal worldview that reflects the mindset of its writer. everyone who reads tolkien's works should be aware of that and it's absolutely fair to criticize it. (though i will say: a trend i've noticed in fandom is criticizing that the misogyny only in the characters/stories one dislikes and wants to prove as "bad," while ignoring it in others.)
i don't think your particular criticism (that luthien should have easily been able to take on celegorm and curufin, and they never should have posed a threat to her) works with what we're given in-story though. luthien is never presented as "powerful" in the typical action-hero sense. it's perseverance, guile, cleverness, and sheer nerve that pulls her through against sauron and morgoth, not physical power. i also don't think it's quite accurate to reduce celegorm and curufin to random dudes. those two are, if not war veterans, certainly battle-experienced by the time of beren and luthien, and they've seen and been involved in a lot of fighting: the first kinslaying (albeit their side was much better armed than their opponents and received reinforcements from fingon), the initial skirmishes of the exilic noldor with morgoth's forces upon their arrival in beleriand, and the dagor bragollach. i believe in some versions they also help cover orodreth's retreat from minas tirith, which similarly suggests some type of military involvement. and i'm absolutely not going to be the person that goes "uwu let female characters be feminine!!1!!11!" -- the argument can, and should, be made that we should get more female warriors in the lotr verse. that's definitely one of my main frustrations; of course we have women like eowyn, haleth, and emeldir, all of whom we know can fight -- but i could always use more female warriors (and more gnc women period) in my fiction. however, in frame of what we know about luthien as she is canonically, the idea that she should have been able to easily overpower celegorm and curufin doesn't hold up.
regarding her putting morgoth to sleep, what we need to keep in mind is that luthien tricks him first, and tells him she wants to sing to him as a minstrel. then it's morgoth's own arrogance and his indulgence of his desire to corrupt luthien that keeps him from noticing her true intentions, giving her the window of opportunity to put him to sleep. she didn't just open the act by immediately sedating him, and i don't think she could have. her magic doesn't allow her to just put people to sleep willy-nilly; the circumstances have to be right, or it has to be one of those moments of, for lack of a better way to put it, cosmic intervention (like when she put carcharoth to sleep). none of that was the case for when she met celegorm and curufin. what i'm trying to say is, despite how she's perceived (often along with resounding complaints about how she's such a "mary sue"), luthien is not an untouchable powerful demigod with a track record of easily kicking aside everyone that gets in her way. many of her antagonists far outclass her in terms of "might". but she's brave, confident enough in herself that she believes she can pull off what everyone else tells her is impossible, and resourceful and astute enough to optimize what she has going for her to her best advantage despite the odds being stacked against her -- and that's ultimately why she succeeds. which was part of tolkien's intention, imo, as it fits best with the lotr verse's themes: it's not the "big," "powerful," people that pull off the most spectacular feats. it's the people who have estel, who don't give in to despair, who have the courage and tenacity that so many others don't.
also, regarding the "enchantment" idea: another reason it puts a bad taste in my mouth is that nowhere is any magic in the legendarium ascribed the ability to make people fall in love/lust with the user. even morgoth, the most powerful of the valar, can't do that; there's simply no reason to think that luthien should be able to. and i do understand wanting to explore her character more beyond her story with beren, but forcibly shoehorning her into a position -- against all indications given in the narrative about her, about celegorm and curufin, about the extent to which magic in the universe is capable of influencing someone -- in which she's the one at fault for a male character trying to sexually assault her is not the way to go about that. to be frank, the whole concept of making female characters who by all accounts in the source material are perfectly decent people, ~more morally grey~ because it's ~feminist~, particularly when the process of doing so exonerates a male character for his sexually predatory behavior toward her, and in the case with luthien, flips the situation so that she becomes the predatory one... i don't think it's feminist in the least. there are better ways to give female characters more agency and depth beyond their male love interests than making contrived scenarios in which she becomes responsible for the actions of men who victimize her
as blatantly misogynistic as the "luthien enchanted celegorm" theory/headcanon/whatever they call it is, i do think an interesting concept is a celegorm who convinces himself that luthien enchanted him to explain his own abhorrent behavior, because even he can't quite accept how low he's gone -- i.e. he tells himself that the lust and desire to possess luthien that at least significantly motivated his actions toward her was a result of some maiarin enchantment on her part. it doesn't quite align with my personal reading of the character (though it's not wholly incompatible with it either), but celegorm with his own hellfire-adjacent musical number would be a hell of an aesthetic
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papirouge · 1 year ago
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sorry for being extremely niche, but I can't help but think Tales from the Pizzaplex "B-7" *IS* "anti trans" and that Scott is trolling you all. again 👀
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ejzah · 1 year ago
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Hey there! I have a prompt request if you’re interested. I’m sorry if I’ve already sent it your way. I’m new to fanfiction and you are one of my favorite writers. I catch myself thinking of prompts randomly and questioning if I should send them your way.
I was rewatching S3E7 Honors and I have always wanted to hear more about the talk radio show conversation. I always felt that Deeks deflected way too easily. Would you write a tag either close to canon or completely AU? Whatever inspires you more.
I appreciate that you keep writing for the show. I always look forward to reading your writing.
A/N: Thank you anon! That is so kind of you. Feel free to send me any prompts that you’d like. Just know that I may not always write for every one or it may be some time before I get around to a particular prompt.
***
What If
“So, what did you say?” Kensi asked a few minutes into their drive back to the mission house.
“What?” Deeks shot her a confused look, and she nodded her head, a smirk playing at her lips.
“On the radio show Callen heard you call in to. What did you say?”
Deeks chuckled, shaking his head. “Oh, we did not establish that whomever Callen heard was me,” he evaded evenly.
When Callen first brought it up, Deeks had felt a moment of panic. The call had come during a moment of weakness, when he’d been feeling particularly frustrated and lonely. Deep down, he knew the idea was a terrible one, but he convinced himself that no one would ever find out and it would be a good opportunity to unload on someone he’d never have to talk to again.
“Really? A guy who was confessing his deep, dark feelings for his partner?” Kensi said skeptically, slanting a look his way before she smoothly switched lanes.
“Yeah, I’m pretty sure that would describe a lot of guys in LA.” Deeks shrugged, putting on a thoughtful face. “And I’m not even sure that Callen said he was talking about a female partner.”
“Deeks, as we established this morning, your voice is unique. I would certainly recognize it anywhere.”
It was Deeks’ turn to raise an eyebrow, and he grinned suggestively. “Oh really?”
The side of Kensi’s right cheek bone flushed under his gaze as she scrambled to defend herself.
“I mean, I spend two-thirds of my life with you, to my deep regret. Of course I would recognize your voice,” she said quickly.
“Uh-huh.” He grinned at her discomfort, settling in his seat as he considered her reaction. He’d seen Kensi flustered a few other times like this, but he’d never pursued it beyond a couple jokes.
There was an extended silence where Kensi resolutely stared directly ahead and Deeks watched her out of the corner of his eye.
“So, hypothetically speaking of course, what would you have done if it was me on that radio show?” he asked casually.
It was a few moments before Kensi spoke, having taken the time to pull into her designated parking spot.
“Well, I would say that you can always talk to me. Even though I tease you a lot, if it was something serious, I wouldn’t betray your trust or make fun of you,” she started, expression surprisingly honest as she eyed him. She dipped her head, focusing on her thumbnail, and added, “And you might be surprised by my response, if you did.”
“I would?” Deeks asked softly.
“Maybe. Hypothetically speaking.”
“Yeah, no, of course.” The words were on the tip of his tongue, but he found himself hesitating.
“We would should probably go inside before Hetty comes looking for us,” Kensi said, and the moment was gone. “No matter how much she might like your “idiosyncrasies”, you know she hates late paperwork.”
“Definitely don’t want to make Hetty mad,” he agreed, getting out of the car and falling into step with Kensi. They didn’t speak again as they walked to the door, but he was aware of every brush of their shoulders.
He wondered what would happen if he was just a little braver.
***
A/N: I hope that was ok.
Thanks for the prompt!
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pebblysand · 1 year ago
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Hi pebbly, I hope work, life, and all the things are going well. Big fan of castles.
Question: What is your opinion on male readership of HP fanfiction/guys reading your works?
Sincerely, a male reader aware of his odd demographic status within the fandom.
aw, thanks anon! hope all is well for you too!
to be honest, i don't really have an opinion! i mean, i'm so glad you (and maybe others) are reading this fic - thanks so much for your support! that being said, i don't think i have any particular hot takes on this! i'm just happy you're there!
i am - of course - aware that my audience (and the fanfiction community in general) is majority female. that's been established by many studies on the topic. but, assuming that the audience for my fanfiction podcast is somewhat representative (even if it doesn't entirely line up with my readership), it appears that around 10% of our audience is male. around 20% is non-female. so this isn't negligible.
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[sorry this is in french, idk why/how to change it. it says: women, men, other, non binary]
i've spoken about this before but i think the fact that men aren't super present in fanfiction communities is down to two big factors:
men (sadly) aren't encouraged to read. i feel like this is particularly true for straight men (although, to an extent, gay men as well): for some reason, in the past 40 years, someone somewhere decided that reading/writing books wasn't "manly". that somehow, sitting at home watching sports on the sofa was worthy, but not sitting at home reading a book on that same sofa - which, when you think about it, is basically the exact same activity. it's especially bizarre because when you look at literary history, a lot of our "great writers" are men - to the point that many women writers, at the time, were completely ignored/disregarded. so, like many things, it seems that writing/reading was a worthy pursuit for men, until women started reading/writing as well and being successful, which somehow lessened the appeal of the activity. i think it's a real shame and i feel like it's a chance that's missed by a lot of men who might actually enjoy the activity, if only they were given more of an incentive. anecdotally, i was once talking to a (female) friend of mine, saying that to me, if a man i could potentially date does not own at least one book, that's a bit of a red flag. she said to me my standards were too high (😆) and i think that's a bit sad. but, it does explain (partially) why men aren't in fanfiction spaces. they're (mostly) not in original fiction spaces either.
men are also socialised (at least in western culture) to value the pursuit of activities that will yield the most monetary returns. there is still, to this day, a lot of pressure put on men to be the main breadwinners and fanfiction, famously, is anything but that. writing fanfiction is a lot of work, for - guaranteed - no money. i think women are used to working for free: in the home, but also because of the gender pay gap. so, they're more likely to accept this situation than men who are like: 'what do you mean i need to spend a hundred hours writing a fic for no money?' when i was unemployed during the pandemic, i freelanced as an editor and you would not believe the number of men who sent me novels where they were like: this started as fanfiction for [x] (usually video games) but then i filed off the serial numbers because it didn't feel worth it to work on something i couldn't publish. then, fanfiction gets ridiculed as this thing that's only for teenage girls/women with no ambition, and men are even less likely to participate.
so, i think, naturally, this reflects in the readership (and writership) of HP fanfiction. it's unfortunate, but it's kind of an undeniable fact. and, this is worsened because when it comes to entertainment, men and women are also socialised to like different things. and thus, because fewer men write fanfiction, men who would only be readers don't necessarily find content that "speaks" to them, and thus don't read it. especially because studies show that men, because they are often cast and shown as the main protagonists in media, find it harder to project themselves in women/works written by women. they feel like they can't relate. so, it ends up being this chicken and egg situation of: women make up for most fanfiction writers, thus men feel left out and don't read, leading to fewer men writing it, etc.
and, to be honest, i feel like castles (and my works in general) is a perfect example of that:
i don't think i write for women. i think i write for humans. but also, i'm not dumb. my fics centre around themes and characters which mostly speak to women. i'm a hardcore, bra-burning feminist. my harry is definitely a man-written-by-a-woman (although, jkr is a woman too so i don't think i'm changing much, there). i write a lot of strong female characters. i write at length about violence against women. a lot of men don't want to read about that, because they don't think it's "for" them.
we all know and have seen in the past that the issue of feminism and women's rights is mostly owned by women. sure, some men are allies, i'm not denying that, but most of the campaigning and the shouting and the screaming is still the burden of women. we're still at the point where in order to get men to care about women's rights, we need to tell them: 'what if it was your sister?' 'what if it was your mother?' as though women don't have value unless they are part of their family. so, i'm not deluding myself into thinking that i have a large male readership because i know a lot of men don't relate to the things i write and aren't interested in trying.
that said, knowing that some of my readership (even if it's only ten per cent) is made up of men, fills me with joy. it fills me with hope that things might eventually change for the better. that men are starting to care/get educated, and also maybe see that feminism can benefit them too. the idea that some dude on his sofa is reading my very feminist fanfiction makes my day, really. i write about feminism and politics because i hope to see a change in the world and part of that is broadening my audience to people who might not be familiar with these themes. do i suspect most comments i get giving me pointless nitpicky/unsolicited criticism or telling me ginny is slut come from men? sure. but these are a minority and it's the price to "pay" when you write about these things.
so, my opinion on guys reading my works is that i don't really have an opinion, aside from the fact that i think it's amazing that you're there and my only hope is that there will be more of you in the future.
thank you so much for reading, and for being part of this community. it really means the world! 💚
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nebulouscoffee · 1 year ago
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Ok for the series ask game thingy I shall ask you… TNG and Enterprise
Ooh, this should be fun! Thank youuu :D
TNG
Favourite character: ahh this is legitimately hard! I love all the main seven leads so much. Maybe Deanna? I think she's heaps more interesting and complex than she comes across at first glance- I love her difficult relationship to her Human and Betazoid halves, I love her complicated dynamic with her mom, her state of cultural drift, her very nebulous sense of self that she's always just a little too afraid to confront head on, her compassion, her self-awareness, her warmth, and of course her occasional barbs that just never miss
Second favourite character: gosh this is even harder!! I feel like it's either Data or Geordi, but then I remember Worf. I adore Worf... but then there's also Beverly.... Okay, okay, I'm reasonably sure it's Data. I just really love his arc, his multifaceted relationships with the other characters, and the complexity of the questions his existence and chosen life raise. Some of the series' best episodes are centred around him. Not much else to say- I just love the guy! (And I am laughing so hard picturing your face while reading this. Sorry Fancy! Lmao... Unfortunately I am a Data girlie😂)
Least favourite character: uhhh maybe that Okona guy from 'The Outrageous Okona', I haven't actually rewatched that episode in sooo many years and I think he might be why haha (also every single guest character in 'Code of Honour' though that's not so much a case of me hating them as wishing the writers had never come up with them)
The character I'm most like: None of them!! They all joined the space military lmao I would never join the space military!! Also they're all very smart, like top-of-their-fields smart. TNG where is the representation for us mediocre dumbasses. I demand more mediocre dumbasses on the Enterprise! (OKAY if I had to pick, it would probably be Geordi but only when he's goofing off- or Riker when he's rejecting a promotion so that he can remain with his besties)
Favourite pairing: Beverly and her lamp🥰 okay, okay, Troisha from the non-canon ships, Troi/Riker from canon
Least favourite pairing: Deanna/every man she was ever sent to single episode romance hell with, special shoutout to that one dude from 'The Price' for making me watch that looooong as hell foot massage sequence *strained laughter*
Favourite moment: Gonna be a cliche and say that poker scene from the finale. Yup, they actually managed to end the show on... my favourite scene from the whole show. Good job, TNG! (If I'm being honest it's everything from the climax with the three Enterprises working together to Q's line on how exploration is not about conquering or charting territory but discovering new depths of the soul (good stuff👌) and the gang vowing not to let themselves drift apart like they did in that possible future. This is where TNG ended in my heart tbh! Every other appearance is like schrödinger's canon to me; it's canon when I need it to be, and fanfic generally lol
Rating out of 10: Objectively, it's a 7.5/10 from me. Its highs are SO high, but its lows are just so hilariously low- it had a rough start, there's no getting around that, and it's frequently clueless about the inherent imperialism and colonialist undertones of its premise, plus it almost never lets its female characters shine the way they deserve to. However this show also turned my life around so it gets a 100/10 by the power of the blorbolense😌 thank you for existing TNG!
Enterprise
Favourite character: Hoshiiii we love an overworked gifted child prodigy who grew up learning to speak soooo many languages but never had anyone to talk to, only now learning to relax and make friends and figure things out as an adult on the ship of the unhinged
Second favourite character: I mean it's gotta be T'Pol! She is far and away the most interesting character on the show imo, and despite the constant terrible horrible so-bad-it's-funny attempts to objectify her she manages to surpass the material and contain so much depth. She's an alien among humans and a deeply scandalous weirdo and pioneer among her own people, and I love her struggles navigating those two spheres throughout the show <3
Least favourite character: the ever-present air of post-9/11 military propaganda. And if you're going to argue that that's not an actual character on the show, I beg to differ. Straight up had more lines than Travis Mayweather!
The character I'm most like: Maybe Phlox? I'm not much like anyone on this show honestly, but in general he's a chilled out dude just doing his own thing. I feel like that's me right now
Favourite pairing: T'Poshi hell yeah!!! I know the characters barely interact in canon but it really is actually that deep you guys. I love it! For some reason all my favourite ships seem to involve these eager young super smart friendly compassionate officers falling for much older buttoned-up aliens who are obviously culturally isolated, and then connecting in a way that reveals the older alien (who might have a drug problem) is actually a social outcast in their own society whose superiority they won't shut up about and the younger officer actually has a more complicated relationship to their culture than first apparent thanks to an overbearing family, and they are strikingly similar shades of lonely. Hmmm....
Least favourite pairing: I don't think I have one lol! I don't feel strongly enough about any of the canon pairings and fanon ships don't affect me because I don't really engage with that side of Enterprise fandom (not saying this like a snobby thing, I'm sure it's great! I'm just not interested enough in this show that way hehe)
Favourite moment: T'Pol's speech standing up for the crew to the Vulcan High Command stands out in my memory... I'd probably have to rewatch to answer this question properly tbh
Rating out of 10: gonna be generous and overlook the nightmare of its place in history and all the ensuing xenophobia baked into its very premise and give it a solid 6/10. These characters deserved to come into their own, and the show is often good fun!
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wonlouvre · 3 years ago
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more for forever | k. mg.
pairing: editor-in-chief mingyu x female reader genre: fluff, a little bit of angst, cliché (in the sense that mingyu is rich and likes to spoil his girlfriend) warnings: mentions of insecurity, food word count: 2.8k
💌: this is just pure indulgence and i really hope you all like this! please wait for wonwoo because i have something in store for him too ;) again, this is cliché please forgive me. please tell me what you think about it hehe i love reading your comments, feedbacks and tags! also a big thank you to @minkwans​ for sharing their ideas and giving this oneshot life! <3
The name Kim Mingyu didn’t ring a bell before. Not until his executive assistant reached out to you because apparently, the photographer slash writer read one of your blog posts and wanted you to take part for their sixth year anniversary issue. You know the famous magazine and publishing company, which is why you thought it was a scam or a ploy to steal your money. It’s a stupid assumption but you can’t blame your mind imagining the worse because you are not a fashion blogger at all. Why would a fashion magazine want you to write an article for them?
Sure, you regularly write and post blog entries on your website. But you write about your dog, your recently bought tea coaster and sometimes your skincare routine. Okay, maybe your occasional outfit of the day as well but nothing in detail. Again, why do they want you to write for them?
Kim Mingyu answered your questions and uncertainties when he personally emailed his contact details to you. You didn’t have to bite, but it didn’t hurt to confirm at the same time. You dialed the number and he indeed proved you wrong. He invited you for a meeting at his office and you accepted. 
Your visits to high-rise buildings, much more to the luxurious office of an executive, is rare to never. You were jaw slacked when your eyes took in the crisp architecture. The design, the furniture, the color, the everything was beyond what you could have imagined a publishing company’s headquarters could be. 
The meeting was nothing but short of an interview. He asked about your blog (which does not even have its own domain by the way), he asked what else you write about, he asked about your desk job (which doesn’t pay much but enough for you to get by), he asked if you have any background about fashion and one last question about your dog, Max, before talking about his proposal. 
To be honest, Mingyu’s offer was tempting. For one article, the commission would be enough for you to move out of your current apartment and move to a brand new and fully-furnished one. But you remained true to yourself and without thinking twice, you declined. 
You can tell that the editor-in-chief and his assistant, who stood beside him all throughout, was surprised by the looks on their faces. But Mingyu respected your decision and didn’t pursue any further. You took your stand from the chair and sincerely thanked him for the time and opportunity. You thought that would be it but when he followed suit with your actions and reached his hand out, it was your turn to be surprised. 
You didn’t hesitate to mirror him and shake his hand, firmly. After that, you’d figure that it’s the end and that you’ll probably get to see a glimpse of him only through your television or phone. But Mingyu proved you wrong once again when he sent an unexpected email three days later asking why.
What might be the reason why you didn’t accept his offer? 
You believed he deserved an explanation of your personal reasons so you disclosed them. And just like that the conversation on that email thread naturally progressed and eventually deepened. The professional emails became casual text messages, the text messages became phone calls, and the phone calls became actual face to face dates at late hours of the evening because he usually clocks out at 9 o’clock. 
The rest, as they say, was in the hands of history. 
Your first date with Mingyu was particularly odd. It was at a traditional Korean restaurant owned by one of his friends who introduced himself as Angel even though his real name is Jeonghan. You didn’t question him or anyone else why because that’s none of your business. But back to the date. It was odd because you have never been to a restaurant that’s completely empty and dead silent before (aside of course, from the typical music played in the background). You asked Mingyu if such an occurrence is normal and he just plainly answered that he rented the whole place all to yourselves. You have always known he’s rich. However, you didn’t believe that booking the whole restaurant was necessary.  
Nonetheless, that first date, in some way, was special for you because there were no distractions. You enjoyed his company and you can tell he enjoyed yours too because he’s quick to mention a second date and it didn’t take a heartbeat for you to say yes. 
But, by far, Mingyu inviting you to the behind the scenes of the making of the sixth anniversary issue that you turned down writing for is one of the most memorable dates the two of you had. It was out of the blue and you two were having difficulty in syncing your schedules. He was beginning to get busier and busier as the anniversary neared and the only way he could think of still making time for you is inviting you to his office. He called you and asked if you’re free to have lunch together. And you, being attracted to the handsome and tall man, didn’t hesitate to say yes. 
He was in the middle of ending his morning meeting when you arrived and you were almost caught off-guard when all eyes were suddenly on you, making you feel small. But Mingyu didn't care as his smile beamed, immediately standing up from his chair to walk towards you. The rest of his staff were still in the midst of walking out of his office when he grasped your hand to pull you inside and you have never felt so shy your whole life.
Since then, he made you tag along to the creative process and you witnessed how hands on he was with every article, every photo, every brand, every trend and every detail that goes to the magazine that he has built and loved with his blood, sweat and tears. He’s beyond dedicated in finding and doing what’s best for the magazine and most importantly, its loyal readers. 
You can tell that he really is deserving of everything that he has and is still receiving.
Mingyu being perfect also applies to your relationship. He’s always present despite being booked with fittings, meetings, photoshoots and business travels twenty-nine days of the month. He never fails to call, never fails to answer your calls. He never fails to offer the warmest hugs and the softest kisses. Well, he fails to be on time during your dates sometimes but he never once stood you up and his cuddles when he sleeps over are enough to apologize for the lost time.
The only flaw he has is that he doesn’t know how to take no for an answer. Most especially at times where he wants to shower his love in ways that cost more than your paycheck in a year.
Here are some examples:
You know that Mingyu pays attention to every word you say. Even if you just mentioned a passing topic, he will do his best to keep those in mind. With that being said, you mentioned once that you want to renovate the extra bedroom of your apartment and turn it into a study where you could work someday. Your boyfriend, being the rich man he is, offered to hire and pay a team that could help you bring the design you envisioned into life. 
That was during the first few months of your relationship and you were flabbergasted by how easy it was for him to do or much less say. Needless to say, you immediately turned him down and he respected that (but of course, he pouted about it like a child all throughout the day). 
But wait, there’s more. 
Do you remember how you mentioned that Mingyu travels frequently? Yes? Well, Mingyu always books an extra ticket for you just in case you want to join him. Sometimes it’s not even about the flight ticket anymore. It’s about him stopping by your apartment to pick you up unexpectedly as if France is only a drive away. 
It’s unbelievable, really. That’s why you always close the door on his face. But of course, you don’t forget to give him a long kiss and “stay safe” or “I’ll miss you” farewell. Mingyu, ever the good boy he is, lets you win and just return your kisses a little longer for the days he won’t be able to do so. 
Mingyu’s intentions are pure and you’re well aware that the man that you love is only doing this because it’s simple, he loves you. He wants what’s best for you, he wants to give you what you deserve. You can never blame him for being out of touch from reality at times, but you can learn and grow with him. Although of course, he still needs a scolding and a wake up call every now and then. 
Anything else? Yes.
You didn’t take into consideration that he’d remember, but one night while the two of you were about to fall asleep, you sleepily mumbled about your dreams of attending graduate school. It was a mere whisper in the late night against his chest and you even thought that he wouldn’t hear you at all because his eyes were already closed. You honestly didn’t expect that he’d send you brochures of different universities who offer various programs the following day. You had to calm him down as he excitedly talked you through it. You even had to shut him up with your lips and explain that you don’t have the time to study at the moment with your current job. He tried to encourage you with praises and admiration of your dedication, skills and knowledge. But no, you didn’t buy it and that’s the end of discussion. 
The gifts, however, are something that Mingyu is not giving up on. The first few instances he gave you gifts whether it be a high-end handbag, shoes, clothing, and even jewelry, you allowed him. Because there were only a few. But along the way, the gifts got bigger and more frequent. You had to sit him down to set limitations. It was a long conversation of him trying to get the upper hand. But you didn’t let him outsmart you with his hugs and kisses. It was either he was going to tone it down with the gifts or no gifts at all. 
Sometimes, as much as you hate to admit it to yourself, you can’t avoid getting insecure and afraid that the euphoric time you share with Mingyu is not meant to last. At some point, the fact that he's one of the youngest successful editor-in-chiefs of a multi-million earning magazine got overwhelming. You can’t help but feel that you’re no match for him. And again, you hate that your mind gets clouded with ideas that you’re just a charity case he enjoys spending his money on. Of course, you believe that he doesn’t look at you in that way.
It’s you who thinks so. 
“Hey.”
You release the bite on your bottom lip at the sound of your boyfriend’s voice. Your lost eyes shoot to the stove where he’s cooking and you notice that he’s about done so you should set the table. 
You didn’t even answer Mingyu’s call which concerns him. He wipes the sauce off his hands on the apron he’s wearing and holds your waist before you could even round the corner to the cabinets. 
His warmth snaps you out of your thoughts. Your eyes blink up to him and he just raises his eyebrows at you. 
“Is there something wrong?” He asks and lowers the heat of the conduction. 
“Nothing, nothing,” you lie, shaking your head, “Let me get the plates. I’m quite hungry.”
You try escaping his strong arms and gaze, but he doesn’t let you go. Instead, he wraps his arms around your waist tighter. Your palms automatically land on his chest and the lean muscles make you gulp. 
“I’m going to ask again and this time, I want you to tell me the truth,” he says in a serious yet gentle tone. “What’s wrong?”
You sigh and lean your forehead against his chest. Mingyu also sighs and kisses the top of your head. It’s better to tell him now because you’re not going to get anywhere if you’re just going to keep it to yourself. It will be unfair for him too and that’s not what you want. 
“I just don’t feel so good about myself over the past few days,” you finally voice out. You sound weak, but Mingyu can hear you loud and clear. “I feel like I don’t deserve you.”
Mingyu had to pull away and hold your shoulders to search your eyes, his frown showing disbelief and sadness both at the same time. “Did I do or say something to make you feel this way?”
“No, no,” you quickly say and hold his cheeks. “You did absolutely nothing. It’s just all in my head.”
Mingyu becomes silent and you wish you could just drop it because the regret and embarrassment is slowly dawning upon you. You wish you didn’t bring it up anymore because why would you burden him with your problems? 
But Mingyu proves you wrong once again by holding your hand and carefully tugging you to sit on the dining table, saying softly, “Come on. Let’s talk about it.”
And talk you did. You let out your concerns, worries, fears and insecurities. You bore it all without hiding or masking anything. A tear or two slipped once or twice and some words were interrupted by your hiccups, but Mingyu was patient. He listened and held your hand, promising you that it’s okay. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be scared. It’s okay to be worried. It’s okay to be vulnerable in front of him. It’s okay to trust him because he loves you. 
Mingyu loves you and his words and actions assure you that it’s okay to love him too. 
When there were no more words left to say, the two of you shared a comfortable silence. The weight on your shoulders and the sick feeling in your stomach immediately vanished and you have never felt so relieved. You have never felt so free and loved. You can’t believe that Kim Mingyu is real. 
“I know that this is unwarranted,” Mingyu breaks the silence after a while, “but I want you to know that I don’t think of you in any of those ways. To me, you’re the person I love and I am happy with regardless of our different upbringings, different jobs. Those don’t matter to the time and love we share together.”
“I know,” you affirm and kiss his cheek. 
Mingyu nods and smiles against the palm of your hand when a memory suddenly pops in his mind. “I’m not sure if I have told you this already. But the blog entry of yours that caught my attention is about your first ever blog post.”
Your eyes widen at his confession. You have never heard of this before. “You mean the one where I talked about why I love writing so much?”
Your boyfriend smiles and nods. “That one.”
“Gosh. That’s so embarrassing,” you groan and palm your face. 
“What do you mean embarrassing?” He argues, taking your hand to hold again. “That post was one of the most genuine posts that I have ever read. You explained, word by word, your passion, love and dedication to writing in the most honest way possible. Who wouldn’t be moved?”
You pout and unbeknownst to you, that makes his heart squeeze in adoration. 
“It’s not that special,” you mumble, eyes on your intertwined hands. 
“It is to me though.”
Mingyu’s eyes are dreamy and glossy as you meet them again and you could never be more in love. He holds your arms, coaxing you to stand up to straddle his lap. You giggle when he protectively wraps his arms around your waist. His nose scrunches when it grazes yours, but upon meeting his lips you feel it exhale a breath of relief.
You kissed and kissed and kissed. But when Max barks at the two of you, reminding you of the dinner you’re supposed to eat and share with him, the two of you burst into laughter before reluctantly detaching from each other. 
“You doting over me with material things is a perk,” you humor him and he gives you his signature giggle. “But, I wouldn’t trade sharing the same bed, cooking meals or taking care of Max together over any of those.” 
Mingyu nods gives you one last yet long kiss, a promise that there’s more for later. 
More for forever. 
---
a/n 2: this was supposed to be the header/poster of this story but it was too big lol
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lokiondisneyplus · 3 years ago
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Director Kate Herron calls from her childhood bedroom. She's staying at her parents' home in Southeast London for the summer, having spent the past year apart due to the pandemic and directing her latest series, Marvel's Loki. "It's so surreal seeing the show go out," she says over Zoom, "and being in the room that I was last in as a teenager."
Loki's first three episodes have seen the God of Mischief (Tom Hiddleston) team up with Agent Mobius (Owen Wilson) and the all-powerful Time Variance Authority to track down a fugitive Variant of himself: A female Loki that goes by Sylvie (Sophia Di Martino) who's set on blowing up the Sacred Timeline and, with it, the MCU as we know it.
"My dad, bless him, he was never into Marvel before, but now he's obsessed with it," she says. "When I got the job, he started watching his way through the films, and he's got all these different YouTubers that he now watches for theories, and he tries to get spoilers out of me. He's like, 'What does it mean?!' and I'm like, 'Dad, I can't tell you!' It's very sweet, but very funny."
Now, with three episodes left of the season, she's bracing for their first family viewing experience. "I might not be able to, though. I might be like, 'You have to watch it by yourselves and then we can talk!'" she laughs. "Wait to hear the Loki theme and be like, 'Oh, I can go downstairs now.'"
In the meantime, Herron fielded all of ET's midseason questions about making Loki's bisexuality canon in the MCU, flexing more of his magic than ever before and why Sylvie isn't really Lady Loki or the Enchantress.
We are halfway through the season. Outside your parents, how has the reaction felt so far?
It's been amazing. We had these big ideas in it -- like, about free will and good and evil -- and wanting to [know that] if we're going back in with Loki because he's so beloved, that it's going to be a good story for that character, but some fresh terrain. I think the response has been pretty joyous and it's just so fun seeing what people are liking, what people's theories are. I couldn't be more happy, to be honest.
Being someone who appears pretty online and active on social media, how deep are you going into reading what people say and diving into those theories and all that?
I definitely read a lot of them -- I don't comment on them -- but I used to love Lost and Game of Thrones, and I was on Reddit, commenting, like, "Ooh, maybe it means this or means this," and I think that's the fun thing with our show, right? Our fans are so smart and it's fun seeing what they're getting right and what's not right but is very interesting. The Easter eggs they dig up are always amazing to me. Some of them we put in there, and I'm like, "Well, let's see..." and I'm like, "Oh, they found it!" So, it's really fun tracking it online. It's very weird directing something where you know every frame will be [screen]grabbed by some fans because they're looking for stuff.
I loved your tweet about why it was important for you to confirm that Loki is bisexual in the show. Not really reveal -- because he's bisexual in the comics -- but make that canon. Talk to me about having those conversations with Marvel.
I think it was something very important to everyone. And I felt like, OK, how can we acknowledge this? We have aspects of the story that are there, so how do we build this into the story so it feels earned in the moment? I didn't want it to feel like we were just wedging something in, but we had this beautiful scene where these two characters are being really raw and really honest about who they are, and I was like, "Well, it is a part of who he is and who they are." For me, talking with Michael [Waldron] and Bisha [K. Ali], it just felt like it was the right moment for that line. This episode is really beautiful for me, because it's these two characters getting to know each other, so in that sense, it felt like the right place for that conversation to happen. And I thought it was done really beautifully by the writers.
Obviously, like I've said, it's very personal to me, and I said it was a small step in some ways -- because obviously, he's just talking about it -- but in the bigger scale of things, I'm like, oh no, it's massive actually. If I saw that when I was 10, it would be really big for me. It's been really nice getting comments from people online. Some people were like, "It helped me actually talk about how I feel to my family and helped me come out." And I thought, "Well, if it helped one person do that, then it's worth it."
This is the MCU's first lead character who is openly queer. Did you know that? Were you aware of how big a milestone this would be?
Yeah. Well, in some senses, yes, and in some senses you're never sure, right? Because [Marvel is] so secretive about all their other projects. [Laughs] For me, I was like, I'm telling Loki's story, it's a part of who they are and I just want to acknowledge it. It's canon in the comics and if we can make it canon in the films, that would be amazing. When I came on board, I was like, if there's a way to do this, it would mean a lot to me and, I'm sure, a lot of people. But it was very welcomed, and I think we're all very proud of how we did that.
This may be getting into spoiler territory that you aren't able to talk about, but acknowledging one's sexuality is one important part of representation, seeing it play out through relationships is another. Can we expect to see any further exploration of what it means for Loki to be bisexual in this show?
I'm trying to think how to answer your question. [Laughs] I would say in our story, this is how we acknowledge it. But I hope that that paves the way for deeper exploration.
We're halfway through the season. What were your biggest goals in these first three episodes?
I think the biggest one was obviously, the Loki we're with in this story is on a completely different path, so it was tracking his character in the sense that he basically sees this amazing arc that the other Loki had gone on across the MCU movies, he sees that he reconciles with his brother, but that wasn't him in that moment. He's watching a different version of himself. But seeing that moment and seeing that he has room for growth and change is really interesting with our Loki, because he's in a very different headspace. So, it was tracking, what's familiar about this character from the Loki that we've seen over the last 10 years go from villain to antihero? And what is going to be completely different and completely different sides to this character that we get to now dig our teeth into? That was something really important to me and to Tom and the writing team, and it was really fun unpacking that and what his identity means.
The other challenges, honestly, were just setting up the TVA, because it's outside of time and space and giving that a grounding and a reality and making that feel like a whole new exciting corner of the MCU. That was a big responsibility, and I was really excited by that. And then you have the bigger arc of the story, but you also knowing it's going out weekly on TV. So, how are we going to track this week by week. Where are we leaving the characters and what are we leaving for the audience? Something we always thought about was we knew there'd be discussion week to week, so it was like, "Where are we going to give them certain bits of information across the show?" We wanted to provoke conversation and discussion about even just things like free will, you know?
I will say about the TVA, I'm basically a human Miss Minutes stan account. I think she's the baddest bitch in the MCU. I watch every Miss Minutes fancam that pops up on my Twitter feed.
She's incredible! What I love about it is that she's in our first episode and she actually used to come out of the presentation that Loki watches -- she came out on the screen -- but it was too crazy. We were like, "OK, we can't do that in the first episode. We'll do it in the second episode!" But what I love about her is that we're seeing the TVA through Loki's eyes and it's, like, the status quo, right? And if our status quo is a Southern-talking, Roger Rabbit-style clock, the show is going to probably get quite weird. I think that's what I love about her. And obviously, Tara [Strong] is awesome. Yeah, Miss Minutes is a lot of fun.
You talked about exploring who Loki is and could be. He's always had an arsenal of powers, but in this series, you really get to explore and define what his power set is. What were those conversations like?
That was something else, coming in, I was so excited about. We have six hours of him, let's see some more magic. Because across the comics, he's super powerful, and for example, in the last episode, that's what was so exciting to me about that, the oner at the end of episode 3 was that I've seen a lot of oners but I haven't seen one with magic. So, I was like, let's put loads of magic in there! We get Loki using his telekinesis and his magic blasts and then also Sylvie, as well, and her powers.
For me, it was exciting getting to bring those in in a way that pushed the story forwards. Because I get it, when he first lands in the TVA, they can't use magic, so I know if I was watching, I'd be like, "What? No magic?!" But I think that's the fun thing is, we still have three episodes to go and also it was fun to put him on Lamentis and see him using his powers in different ways. It was definitely something important to me and the team, was to get to show a little bit more of him. But across the films, you can only do so much. Now we have six hours, so it felt like, of course we have to delve into that more.
I don't know if you saw this on Twitter, one of my favorite reactions to episode 3 was someone tweeted a screenshot of Sylvie screaming and her hands glowing and wrote, "she did the meme!!"
[Laughs] That's great!
We've now officially met Sylvie, and we're starting to piece together that this may be sort of a hybrid character of Lady Loki and Sylvie Lushton, the Enchantress. Are you able to confirm that you pulled from both to create your Sylvie? Or is that something that's to be further revealed?
I would say there's more to be delved into. One thing I would say is, like, she's different to the comics. Like, she's a unique character, but obviously, there's things that have been pulled from. I think for her character, she's on the run and she's called Sylvie and she's dyed her hair. The blonde that we associate with Sylvie is played in that sense, but it makes sense for her character within our story. But I would say deeper than that, yeah, there's more to be revealed about her character to comes.
The main thing I would say is: Lady Loki in the comics is a very different character to our character, obviously. I love that character and I think she's got a very different journey. But our Sylvie is a female Loki, in that sense -- because in episode 1 and 2, they know it's a Loki they're tracking -- but I think that's part of the discussion. It's almost like Loki -- as in Tom Loki -- he's like, "Wait, how much of my life have you got? Who are you?" And I think that's the real question is, who is she? So, we will discuss that as the show goes on. Why does she not like being called Loki? What's her past? Where did she come from?
Tom and Sophia have such great chemistry, but how challenging was it for you and Michael and Sophia and the writers to create a character that essentially has to match up with our Loki, who's had however many films to become the fan-favorite character that he is?
It starts in the writing. Because she's a unique creation, and that was exciting and I was intrigued where they were pulling from with the comics. I was like, OK, that's cool. Beyond that, I think it's casting it. Sophia is an incredible actor. I've worked with her before. She has this fire in her and she brings this amazing vulnerability to all her characters, but she's also, like, so funny. It's just, so many of these things she always brings, I was like, they're so Loki. So, I was like, "We've got to get her to read!" And we were just all blown away by her read of it.
She definitely can hold her own. That's the other thing, as well. I know her, and I was like, she will hold her own. I know she will. Because she's going against Tom's Loki and that's such the fun thing about them. Even just on the train, where it's the end of the world and Loki's solution is, "I'm going to have a party and I'm going to have a drink. I'm going to have a lovely time." And her solution is, "I'm not going to have a glass of champagne, thanks. I'm going to focus on the mission of getting off the moon." Those little differences is what's quite fun about them to me. How are they different, and how are they the same?
Was there something you got to do as a director in these first three episodes that you had never done before that you were especially excited or nervous or both to tackle?
I suppose so much of the show, right? Because I've done a lot of drama and a lot of comedy, but they were like, "Here you go! Here's the reins to this massive, genre-driven piece where you have to set up a new corner of the MCU and you're going to have this beloved character." There was a lot to carry. But I'd say in terms of something I was excited about, only because Kevin Feige was teasing me, when we filmed the big oner at the end of episode 3, I was really inspired in the writing, because it sounded like you were really with the characters. I love doing long takes anyway and I remember thinking, "Oh man, this sequence feels like the one that we should do as this oner," because I want the audience to feel like they're with Sylvie and Loki in this moment, and it's also a moment where you finally start to see an apocalypse and it feels more real, because you're seeing the horror and the terror that's going along with that.
For me, that was exciting, but the really cheesy bit that made me so excited is they had these foam rocks that fell on people, but it felt like real movie magic to me. I was so obsessed with the rocks. I was like, "Oh my god. This is like real, big Hollywood filmmaking." And I remember Kevin Feige was like, "You can take a rock home, if you want," and I was like, "Oh my god!" So I have this rock. It's in bubble wrap now, and I'm going to unpack it when I move into my place. But that's probably honestly the most excited I've ever been. [Laughs] I was just so excited by the rocks. Oh, and also, I remember when we were at Roxxcart and Tom gets thrown into those robo dogs, I was obsessed with the robo dogs. He was like, "I think this is the happiest I've ever seen you." So, those are my favorite moments on set. The foam rocks and the robo dogs.
Somebody's going to come into your flat in the future and there's going to be a shelf with just a rock and a robotic dog on it.
Mhmm! And I'll be like, "Yeah, guys, I did something." [Laughs] They'll be like, "What is this...?" But the foam rocks are genuinely amazing, because they look like real, heavy rocks, but they're so light. I was so fascinated with them. I was so excited. I made a lot of low budget stuff before this, so it was a big deal to me.
My favorite part of the first three episodes is the Kate Berlant cameo. How did that come to be?
Basically, I love comedy and my producer, Kevin Wright, does as well, and we were trying to think of people that could be fun. We've got Josh [Fadem] in episode 1, and that was a miracle. I just spoke to her about the part and was like, "This is a very small role, but if you're interested, you're very talented and you're so funny." And she was like, "You know what? That sounds really fun. Renaissance faire? Yeah, I'll come do it." So, it was very kind of her to come down and do that for us. She's so funny, man. She's so funny.
Do you let her riff at all?
We did. We have a lot of alts and a lot of very extended bits of her talking to the Minutemen. I think there's one where she talks about a bird show at the faire. She's so funny. I was very flattered and grateful that she did that for us.
I'm going to start the #ReleaseTheKateBerlantCut campaign. I want a whole episode of her alts. Or she can be the new Stan Lee and cameo in every MCU project. Before I let you go, if you had to choose one word to tease these upcoming three episodes, what is that word?
Hmm. I thought of one word, but then I'm like, it's spoiler-y, so I can't say that. [Laughs] Oh, one word. Exciting? I have to say "exciting," because I can't say the other one I wanted to say!
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diziaddict · 3 years ago
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REVIEW: Yargi 1x6
Just to get it out of the way... CEYLIN AND ILGAZ ARE MARRIED!!! Ok now back to my review:
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The premise of this episode hinges on an 'operation' that Ilgaz and Ceylin carried out to find Inji's real killer– Engin. As the episode unfolds, a very distraught Engin narrates what really happened on the night of the murder. In a frantic rush to protect their loved ones, both Ilgaz and Yekta race to seek their own versions of justice– Yekta to save his son and Ilgaz to free his little brother. Seldom do we see good characters prevail as they often incur numerous hardships that warp and harden their outlook to society. Ilgaz represents everything the legal system strives to be– honest, impartial and fair, so it was refreshing to watch justice portrayed as rightfully upheld.
It annoyed me to no end that not a single person from the Erguvan family were willing to listen to Ceylin. They were perfectly fine with condemning a young boy to jail– even going as far as to try kill him, without actually looking at the bigger picture with all the evidence. If they had taken the time to actually analyse the evidence, they would realise that certain things didn't add up. Perhaps Ceylin would feel comfortable sharing her thoughts with them but given how closed-minded they are, it is comprehendible why she prefers working through things on her own. Now I understand that the family is grieving and therefore redirecting all their anger and shame onto a scapegoat– who in this case just so happens to be Cinar, so it is reasonable that they are anxious to conclude the murder investigation and punish the killer but the lack of sympathy astounded me. It is unsurprising that they are unable to think logically in their grief-stricken state, unlike Ceylin who is gifted with the ability to think critically under immense emotional strain (likely due to her vocation as a lawyer), but one would hope that they could at least maintain some semblance of empathy for the young boy whose life was about to be ruined. Instead of having prejudiced opinions and publicly expressing damning statements, they should have let the justice system take its due course and hold the actual murderer accountable. This situation is further aggravated as Zafer already holds preconceived notions regarding Metin and thus feels as if this outcome is some form of retribution for when he was wrongly imprisoned.
The highlight of this episode was the unity and support that Ilgaz and Ceylin provided each other. They were rational and smart in the way they handled every situation and faced any obstacles together. Their chemistry and teamwork of course didn't go unnoticed– Eren was an accurate depiction of my feelings regarding their budding relationship. I must also add that regardless of any external events and conflicts, Pars has remained relatively unbiased save from a few petty verbal jabs here and there. It was refreshing to see this series break away from the traditional vindictive characters that plot absurd revenge plans as we see both Seckin siblings work effectively despite rejection from Ilgaz and Ceylin. I was pleased to see further emphasis on Ceylin's perceptiveness as she was aware of Pars' affections towards her. Often female leads are presented as naive and unaware of the effect they have on men whereas Ceylin is aware and might even knowingly use this to her advantage. This characteristic is in line with her resourceful and cunning personality, which reassures me that the writers take time to pay attention to specific details.
All in all, this was a stellar episode that was well-paced and didn't draw out certain plot-lines for too long– e.g. real murderer was revealed, Metin admitted his guilt for Zafer's arrest, Cinar's reason for being quiet was explained. There were a reasonable number of hardships the pair faced but they overcame them and each scenario was believable.
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skyeblue379 · 4 years ago
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So let’s talk about the newest episode of WandVision there is of course a spoiler warning from this point on
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First let’s talk about theories disproved
So the town is made up of the citizens of westview( as far as we know ) the fact the several citizens actors such as the milkman, mailman , and “norm” were shields of agents in previous movies is a conciedence
It’s looking like Anges is a regular citizen not Agatha Harkness, who in the comics was one of the original witches of Salem, a mentor of scarlet witch who was eventually killed by her when she went crazy and almost destroyed the multiverse, but as she was not one the citizens who was identified there is still a chance but we’ll have to wait and see
Okay so let’s talk about what still up in the air theory wise and what we do know thus far
Let’s talk about Mephisto
i still believe that this is how Marvel is choosing to introduce him since he plays an important part in wandas story arch in the comics ( for those who don’t know Wanda creates the twins using a bit of his power/soul and he arranges for them to be stolen by his minion Master pandemonium who uses them as Arms to try and regain Mephisto’s stolen power ( yes you read that right the 80s were wild)
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I still believe that he is the one orchestrating everything behind the scenes but I have a new theory on who he is or at least one I have seen but I’m sure is out there cause let’s be honest I’m not that creative lol
I think during the aftermath of the snap Mephisto took advantage of the chaos to take the identity of Hayward the new leader of SWORD
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Think about he could’ve seen that there was a chance to take power in the upcoming new agency and knowing marvel they might pull an ego, he might’ve had a had in hand in Maria’s death to make sure that he got control of SWORD and to have Monica have a personal investment in this fight
If we go with this theory that explains why he seems to have vendetta to make out Wanda as the villain and dangerous and why we didn’t see the “ footage “ of Wanda stealing visions body my guess is he is trying to alienate wanda from everyone else so she’ll have no where to turn
The reason I think this isn’t entirely wanda is because while in the comics Wanda is one of the most powerful mutants in the entire multi-verse thus far in the mcu she hasn’t shown that level of power and while I would LOVE if they gave Wanda the power and recognition she deserves I don’t think that’s going to happen given The writers treatment Of the marvel women so far and if given the chance they will make the all powerful villain who manipulating the poor defenseless female who couldn’t help but fall for his evil schemes * cue southern lady hand to forehead swoon*(oh I’m going to piss off some fanboys with that one lol) but really think about it Hollywood as a whole doesn’t like bestowing the mantle of most powerful on women or POC especially in action movies which , whether or not you want to admit it , as a genre is engineered to please cisgender straight white men but that’s a whole other debate and I’m already going off enough tangents as is
I don’t think that it was wanda who left the boundary or if it was I don’t think it was entirely of her own volition I think it was a tactic to further villify Wanda in the eyes of SWORD and cementing the distrust of her by them so Hayward can weaponize SWORD against Wanda and Vision
Expanding on that based on what We’ve seen so far from the eps and the previews it’s going to end up being a battle between SWORD/ Mesphisto who is manipulating everything and everyone to make it seem like it’s Wanda controling the town against Wanda and Vision, with the help of Darcy, agent Jimmy Woo, and Monica after they begin to realize what’s happening
Moving on to Wandas role
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So I agree with Visions assement that while Wanda Wasn’t initially consciously aware of what was going on she “ woke up “ at some point is now actively manipulating her surroundings and while she doesn’t want to directly hurt anyone as evident by her protecting Monica while sending her flying through walls and the barrier which could’ve killed her but should’ve at least broken a several bones but she came out with out a scratch
We can see that she knows what she’s doing is wrong but the looks of guilt when confronted with what she is doing she is trying to make sure the citizens are living as normal as possible as seen when she mentions making sure they mow their lawns and make it to their dentist appts and she thinks by controling them she’s making it easier on them but she knows it’s wrong like for example when billy and tommy ask her to bring sparky back to life the look on her face when she tells them there are certain things you can’t mess with and Vision walking up right as she says that I’m guessing within the next couple of episodes she admit to herself that what is happening is wrong
The Twins
So far in the series we see that Billy and Tommy at least posses some of their mother’s power as seen as they can age up seemingly by will power
In the comics billy becomes Wiccan , who takes after his mother’s powers and tommy is speed who inherited his uncles super speed but we have yet to see if these powers will transfer into the show
Side note if they try and change wiccans or speeds sexualities which in the comics wiccan was canonically gay and in a long term relationship hulking, who he eventually married , and Speed who was bisexual and in a relationship with prodigy I will riot
I’m guessing that mephisto is going to take the twins leading to Wanda joining dr strange in his show traveling the multi-verse in trying to find them or some version of them since we can only assume that’s how they are introducing the introducing mutants to the mcu
Speaking of introducing mutants to the MCU
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So at the very end of the episode they get a surprise visitor- quicksilver (which several ppl saw coming ) we see that the X-mans Quicksilver arrive at the door
While I am glad that they are reintroducing Quicksilver as his early death was my biggest problem with age of ultron, we will have to wait and see how this pans out in regards to the series as a whole
When we hear the knock we are being lead to assume same as vision that it is another diversion by Wanda which we’ve seen her do several times at this point she seems as confused as he is so I don’t think he’s appeared by her powers proven by the fact when he introduces himself as her brother she’s visibly thrown and understandably confused before hugging him
My guess is that Mephisto( who in the comics also has the power to manipulate reality tho not on the scale that scarlet witch does which is why he needs her) brought him in to distract Wanda and Vision from discovering the truth
Now we can only assume that because of his appearance that other X-men and ppl from that universe will make an appearance in the mcu but to what extent we can’t be sure yet it will largely depend on what actors agree to resign on to their contracts to continue playing their characters so we can assume that Wolverine will not be making an appearance as Hugh jackman has previously stated that he will not be reprising the role but with everyone else’s we will have to wait and see
Let me know what you guys think what you agree or disagree with, further theories etc
EDIT: I apologize it’s been almost a decade since I’ve read the series of comics feature the storyline that WandaVision were based off it was pointed to me by @Hapllucigenia123 that there were a few inaccuracies in my post
the guy with the baby arms was master pandemonium who while he was working under the direction of Mephisto is not him
the twins were made purely out of fractions of Mephistos soul in the comics and he arranged them for them to be kidnapped in order to regain the power he had lost
This doesn’t change my theories much since I don’t believe they are going to have master pandemonium appear in the series because he was a middle man and the writers are going to probably have a bigger villain name to help draw in more views.( also don’t think theyre going to have anyone use the twins as arms cause I don’t see it being taken seriously in this day and age but imagine the memes if they did lol but I will go back and fix the information when I can thank you again @hapllucigenia123 who can also be found in the comments if the tags don’t work
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hope-grace-serenity · 4 years ago
Text
The Missing Women of Far Cry-PART TWO
Previously, I wrote a post that was intended to talk a bit about Selena and Lana, and the  history of the Faith position as a whole. Because the notes that discuss these women (“Grieving Note,” “Dirty Crumpled Letter,” A Confession”) tend to be overlooked, the purpose of this new post is to analyze the content of the notes and develop a greater understanding of the experiences and perspectives of the Faiths, as well as how they are viewed and treated. This is just my personal analysis, and of course you are more than welcome to disagree with any ideas expressed here. Unlike my previous post, this one will not bring in real-world connections, but will instead stick firmly within the context of what is presented in FC5. That being said, I’m going to keep the same TW’s as last time in the tags, because I realize that this topic overall can be really uncomfortable to think about. If anyone is particularly sensitive to discussing the Seeds brothers�� involvement in the disappearances (particularly Joseph, since he’s the one mentioned in all the notes), I recommend skipping this post.  
So with that out of the way, let’s look at what these notes reveal to us...
First, the notes show us how these different women were hooked into becoming Faith and giving up their identities in the first place: by being convinced by Joseph that each one of them is special, despite him actually viewing them as interchangeable. This is told to us by Faith in-game during her first cutscene when she talks about how special the Father made her feel, but we also see the same story play out in the previous Faiths. The writer of the “Grieving Note” says Joseph told Lana she was special, and the author of “A Confession” expresses that all she wanted was to be special, and she finally got a chance to feel that way with Joseph. The writer of the “Dirty Crumpled Letter” brings attention to how despite what Joseph says, he *doesn’t* actually view Selena (or any of these women) as special, saying that there is a pattern of him “using up and throwing away” women. 
Although they are told that they are unique, their individuality is significantly downplayed, which no doubt psychologically plays a role in the ease in which these women are disposed of  and replaced. We see this in the callous way Joseph treats Lana’s body after her death, tossing it in to “disintegrate into the boiling muck” with the corpses of the mindless angels, despite her literally giving up her identity in order to become a part of the “family.” Also, the simple fact that he can “swap them out like they don’t have a brain of their own” (according to the writer of the “Dirty Crumpled Letter”) is quite telling of how he views them. He’s interested in how they fit this need for what a “Faith” should be, but not necessarily who they are as actual human beings. This focus on the idealized image of “Faith” is also something that’s corroborated in-game where his whole eulogy for Faith focuses on how devoted she was to him and how he changed her from being “lost and broken” to being ”angelic” and “perfect”--two words that suggest inhumanity and an unattainable ideal. This acts as a stark contrast to the more personal, humanized stories of John and Jacob.  To bridge off that idea, the level of disinterest in the actual person behind the name shows that the Seeds do not view or treat the Faiths like sisters or daughters or any kind of actual family member, despite the title. John disappoints Joseph in-game, but John does not have to worry about mysteriously vanishing and having a random guy show up the next day who Joseph calls “Brother John.” Faith does not have the same luxury.
These notes also give us more insight into how Eden’s Gate operated before the arrest. The fact that there was a specific spot set aside to “disintegrate” bodies--plus the fate of the Faiths as a whole--shows us that violence was most definitely happening before the reaping began, even if it was something that was happening behind the scenes. This should be apparent based on other things we see within the game (the cause of the arrest warrant, the video of Joseph removing the man’s eyes, the fact that the Cook was allowed to be a cult member in the first place, existence of angels and judges, etc.), but I know there are a couple NPCs that make it seem like Eden’s Gate were just kooky, peaceful neighbors before the arrest. While that might have been the image they presented to the public, it’s clear that the reality is that there was a dark undercurrent even before the reaping--Eden’s Gate was just able to hide it well.  
These notes also bring up some interesting questions regarding the attitudes of the Faiths. Finding the identity of the author of “A Confession” was something I was really curious about, since that could either provide us with a new dimension for Rachel, or give us valuable insight into the characterization of one of the previous Faiths, allowing one to have her own words and story expressed instead of just being relegated to the role of a “victim.” Based on the limited information presented in-game, I believe that the most likely writer of “A Confession” is Selena. The “Dirty Crumpled Letter,” where the writer tells Selena  about the history of the Faith position, could easily have been what triggers her doubts, especially since that letter indicates that Selena is very new to the role and hasn’t fully “lost herself” to the Faith position yet. The fact that the letter is “crumpled” implies that Selena was either upset or angry when reading it, which further connects to the idea that she’s experiencing emotional strife which may trigger her doubts. In the “Dirty Crumpled Letter,” the writer says, “God knows who you are, and so do you,” suggesting that Selena is religious. In “A Confession,” the writer is clearly religious as well, as the note is written out to God. 
The author of “A Confession” expresses genuine fear of Joseph due to having personal doubts about the project when she says, “What do I do? I know you will forgive me, dear Lord. I don’t know if Joseph will.” This is also supported by Faith’s eulogy, in which he mentions the previous Faiths weren’t as devoted as she was. This implies to me that the reason at least some of the Faiths may have been killed was because they weren’t faithful enough to him and/or the Project. The fear expressed by the writer of “A Confession,” as well as how the individual women acting in the Faith role are viewed as disposable and replaceable in general, personally makes me fully believe Faith in-game when she expresses fear of Joseph and says she was threatened in the past.  Given how her predecessors were treated, why wouldn’t she have some level of fear? 
Still, the role itself is obviously very important to Joseph, hence why he keeps filling the slot with different women. So, why is that? What’s he hoping to achieve? Why is it so important that there’s a Faith? This paragraph is going to veer a bit into speculative territory (and like I mentioned earlier, this is all just my opinion), but I think the answer for that ties into the previous few points: he’s looking for someone who embodies the concept of faith. And as for why that's so important to him, all we need to do is think about his conversation with us in Jacob’s region. Joseph had a really shitty and painful life, but there was one bright spot after he and his brothers were split up: his wife and daughter. As far as we’re aware, the mysterious Mrs. Seed was the first female presence in his life to genuinely love and care for him. What personal characteristic does he keep emphasizing about his wife? Her faith. When he experienced personal doubts, her faith was there to ground him. She provided him with a feminine, stable, unconditional devotion that he never experienced before, one I feel he tries to replicate in creating these Faiths, and this becomes their main source of value to him. She provides that accepting essence to both him and the Project as a whole. This is why he constantly emphasizes the importance of Faith, both the concept and the person. And yes, this is an incredibly unhealthy viewpoint to have. 
I spent a lot of time talking about Joseph because he’s the one mentioned in these notes, but there are some implications here for John and Jacob as well.Given their personal connection to Joseph and high rank in the group, they are most certainly aware of what’s going on, which makes them complicit to some degree  in what is happening to the Faiths. If they have any personal qualms, we don’t know about it. While there is NPC dialogue that indicates Jacob is upset when John dies, and that Faith is upset when John dies, we have no indication that either of the brothers is personally upset about Faith. One of the NPCs says, “Jacob would happily sacrifice everyone and everything in Hope County to feed Joseph's Collapse. He doesn't care about Faith.” The only time John mentions her is when he says he treats his followers better than she treats her angels. While I wish there was someone that Faith could genuinely have a close, honest friendship with, that unfortunately does not seem to be the case here.
And...I think that’s it! Wow, that was a lot longer than I thought it would be. Faith’s perspective is so interesting and unique, and really fascinating to analyze. I realize this post doesn’t exactly paint the Seeds or Eden’s Gate in the most flattering light, but it’s fully possible to love all these characters while acknowledging the bad things they did. Believe it or not, Joseph’s my second or third favorite character, lol. 
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dynamics-of-an-asteroid · 4 years ago
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Dont suppose you have a copy of the interview you could share?
For you, dear anon~
His Dark Materials: Andrew Scott on life after Fleabag and Sherlock
We’ve loved him as both Fleabag’s Hot Priest and Sherlock’s menacing Moriarty. Now, he’s back on our screens in the new series of His Dark Materials. Polly Vernon talks to our TV crush
Andrew Scott is mortified. The actor – formerly Moriarty to Benedict Cumberbatch’s Sherlock, then the Hot Priest of Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s Fleabag, imminently Colonel John Parry in the BBC’s adaptation of Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials – arrives at the photographic studio, bang on the appointed hour, in a fawn cashmere cardigan with a fine gold chain around his neck, bemoaning “this terrible, terrible eye infection, which is making me so self-conscious. I’m so sorry. It isn’t that you’ve massively upset me before we’ve even started. It’s so annoying. But anyway…”
Scott, 44, is small, vivid, wiry and garrulously Irish, with a face that is not handsome so much as mesmerising, intense, sharply boned, symmetrical, startlingly expressive. Sequences of emotions so subtle and complicated that I can’t begin to identify or keep up with them ruffle his brow from moment to moment. And, yup, the whole thing is rather disrupted by his left eye. This is no light kiss of conjunctivitis. It’s a swollen, red, perma-weeping situation that engulfs the whole socket. Scott turns his face two thirds on to me, so the infection is largely hidden, which would probably help if we weren’t sitting in a brightly lit hair and make-up room with a massive, inescapable mirror fixed to one wall. “Oh God,” Scott says every time he catches sight of his reflection.
Stress?
“Let’s be honest,” he says. “Let’s not skirt around the issue. It’s being overworked and…” Scott’s eye begins weeping. “Oh my goodness. I am so sorry. Really, really very sorry.”
Wanna wear my sunglasses, I ask, holding them out to him.
“That would be a bit more weird, wouldn’t it? I actually did think about that in the taxi, but I thought that would be some sort of weird and screwed Invisible Man-type thing. I mean, it couldn’t be worse. And then we have to go and get our photograph taken. It’ll be one of those pictures where, you know, those creepy pictures… Of people crying?”
That’s what Photoshop’s for, I say.
“Anyway. Let’s just ignore it.”
I wonder if it’s particularly hard to walk around with an eye infection at a point in time where you’re not merely famous, as Scott is – a star of stage, screen and Bond film, winner of multiple awards, including, as of barely two weeks ago, a Best Actor Olivier for Present Laughter at the Old Vic – but specifically famous for being sexy.
In 2019, Andrew Scott became synonymous with, well, sex. While playing a character technically known as the Priest, whom the general public instantly renamed the Hot Priest, the spiritual support turned transgressive love interest of Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s supremely popular Fleabag, Scott became a cypher for the nation’s more exotic desires. A deliciously contentious pin-up. Ground zero on an earnest social media debate about whether the Priest’s relationship with Fleabag should be considered abusive, power imbalanced, “problematic”. And that was just for starters.
The Priest’s sexual iconography extended far beyond the limits of the show, becoming the subject of internet memes and real-life merchandise (visit online retailer Etsy for your £12 Hot Priest mug emblazoned with an illustration of Scott in priest’s robes, alongside the word “kneel”, a reference to a pivotal moment between the show’s lead characters, which takes place in a confession box, the climax of which, assuming you haven’t already seen it, you could probably take a stab at). There was an unprecedented upsurge in young worshippers, and women started bombarding social media “influencer” the Rev Chris Lee of west London with nude photographs. There was much foetid fan fiction.
To be publicly defined by so much sex, as Scott still is, a year and a half after Fleabag concluded, and then to be encumbered by something as visibly unsexy as an eye infection, I can see how that might make a chap self-conscious.
Scott isn’t here to rake up all that old Hot Priest stuff, mind. He’s here to talk about the second series of His Dark Materials, a lush, expensive fantasy drama based on the Philip Pullman books, jewel in the crown of the BBC’s autumn schedule. The series was filmed through 2019 and the beginning of 2020 and had all but wrapped before lockdown. Good timing, as it turned out, because the extensive post-production processes, unlike shooting, could be completed in isolation.
Scott’s Colonel John Parry is an explorer, the missing father of the central character, 14-year-old Will Parry. He’s a man who slipped into a parallel universe some years earlier, acquired a “daemon” – an exterior animal-formed expression of his soul, a female osprey called Sayan Kötör, voiced with public-pleasing symmetry by Phoebe Waller-Bridge – and never found a way back to “our” world and his son. I speak as a fan of the books, which you might describe as a darker, existential response to Harry Potter, although honestly? They’re better than that. The show is great, a deft, rewarding interpretation, and Scott is an exciting prospect as Parry.
Did he jump at the part?
“I did, actually. It was definitely something I was into. We were doing a play and it seemed like a fun thing to do.” Scott is one of those who slips into the third person when speaking about himself in a professional capacity.
Had he read the books?
“Yeah,” he says. “I think they’re extraordinary. The truth, but told on a slant. I love the way Pullman tells children about spirituality or religion in such an extraordinary, intelligent way. He doesn’t speak down to them. He talks to children’s souls.”
Given that Pullman effectively kills off God through the course of the books and Scott’s a lapsed Irish Catholic who has suffered his share of shame on account of the church’s grip on his homeland (more on which shortly), I’d imagine Pullman’s books talked to Scott’s adult soul too.
Presumably, he didn’t have to audition. Presumably, he never has to. Too famous for auditions?
“No,” he says. “Although I’ve always thought auditioning is a pretty good thing to do.”
Why?
“Because you’re able to understand, ‘Oh, this is the vibe here.’ You think, when you’re an actor, you don’t have much choice, but I’ve always felt like auditioning is a good opportunity for you to go, ‘Oh well, I don’t much like you either. I think you’re dreadful!’ ”
I don’t care that you didn’t give me that part?
“Yeah.” Scott becomes playfully, theatrically defiant. “I don’t care!” He flicks aside an imaginary rejection with a churlish hand.
Will John Parry and His Dark Materials be enough to eliminate all residual overtones of Hot Priest sexiness from Scott? Maybe. He is a fine actor, no question, entirely transformed from role to role. I saw him play Paul, a narcissistic, fame-addled touring rock star, at the Royal Court in 2014 in Simon Stephens’ Birdland, back when his deeply sinister Moriarty weighed almost as heavily on Scott’s reputation as the Hot Priest does now. I’d watched him become someone else entirely on stage. “Oh, you saw that?” Scott says, pleased.
I quote, “Am I cancer?” at him, his defining line from the play, as evidence.
“Oh Jesus. Oh f***ing hell. Oh my. I’d forgotten that line. ‘Am I cancer?’ ”
The Hot Priest association hasn’t left him yet, which is why I find myself asking what it’s like to be the very definition of sexiness.
“You get invited to more parties.”
Better parties?
“Yeah.”
Better than during his Moriarty phase?
“Definitely.”
It must be fun to find yourself le dernier cri in sexy, according to the whole nation.
“Yeah, that’s fun,” he says. “I didn’t really like being associated with scary. It’s not what I’m interested in being, in life, being intimidating to people. It’s not part of my nature, whereas being sexy to people…”
That is part of his nature?
“Well, they’re very different things.”
They’re both about having power over people.
“I suppose they are, yes.”
So did Scott, bored of scaring people, say to Phoebe Waller-Bridge, writer and star of Fleabag and a long-term friend (they met in 2009 while starring in Roaring Trade at the Soho Theatre), “Write a role for me that will make everyone think I’m just really, really sexy now”?
“That’s such a good belt. Are they two ‘Gs’?”
“Exactly.”
——————————
Andrew Scott is not the easiest interview. He’s utterly charming. Really, just a delight. In between prostrating himself for the offence of his eye and apologising for not turning up the first time we were scheduled to meet (ten days earlier; a delayed Covid test result meant he couldn’t make it), he ensures I have a good time in his company. He is playful. He makes me laugh. His every utterance is delivered as a grand performance. (“Shhhh! Just… Shhhh!” he implores, placing a finger against his lips while expressing frustrations over the mindless jabber of social media, and he does it so powerfully, he compels me to be quiet, breathlessly to await delivery of his next line.) He finds elegant ways to flatter me. He laughs at my jokes and is terribly taken with my belt.
Yeah. For Gucci.
“Oh. Ha ha! I thought it was the Golden Globes. I love the Golden Globes. Ha ha!”
And of course, he’s Irish. Clichédly, melodiously Irish, which makes everything sound softer and jollier than it might otherwise.
As for the actual business of being interviewed, of answering straight questions with straight answers, finishing off sentences, offering more than a slip-slide of vagaries punctuated by vigorous hand gestures, none of which translates into print? He’d rather not.
He tells me, as he’s told other journalists before, this is because he’s interested in navigating the line between “privacy and secrecy”, then says he’s aware he’s sometimes “got away with secrecy under the guise and respectability of privacy”, as if signalling potential incoming slipperiness, which means I prepare to throw every trick in the book at him.
First up: amateur psychology.
Might Andrew Scott’s gayness be at the heart of his reluctance to speak more freely? Perhaps. This is no scoop. He’s been out for almost as long as he’s been famous. “I mean, as a civilian, I was quite young [when I came out], you know? But then, as a celebrity…”
He tails off, allows me to fill in the blanks. This is another of his evasion tactics. I can’t very well quote Scott on the presumptions I make about things he never quite says.
He had to have another coming out?
“Yes. And I have another one coming up.”
He has another coming out coming up?
“Yeah.”
So that will be, what? Tier 3 gayness?
“Tier 3, yeah.”
Scott grew up in Ireland at a time when it wasn’t legal to be gay, which could certainly seed an enduring reluctance towards carefree openness in a person. He invokes the concept of shame more regularly than the average interviewee. He was born in Dublin in 1976 to Nora, an art teacher, and Jim, who worked at an employment agency. He has one older sister, Sarah, and a younger one, Hannah.
He was shy, so started attending a children’s drama course.
Did that help?
“Yeah. Acting to me is not pretending to be someone else. It’s more like, this is who I actually am. The lie that tells the truth,” he says. I am none the wiser. He was clearly talented. He went from adverts to his first starring role in a film aged 17 (Korea, directed by Cathal Black), won a bursary to art school but took a place at Trinity College Dublin to study drama instead, and ditched that six months in to join Dublin’s Abbey Theatre. He’s been gainfully employed in the field ever since.
How Catholic was his upbringing?
“Well, there were Catholic priests in my life,” he says. “None of whom I wanted to have sex with.”
Does it amuse Scott to know he inspired a mass fetishising of priestly ranks? That in 2019, the Hot Priest would make, “Can you have sex with a Catholic priest?” one of the most googled terms of the year?
“Absolutely f***ing mental,” he says.
Homosexuality wasn’t legalised in Ireland until 1993, when Scott was 16.
“I always think, if I’d had a boyfriend then, which I definitely did not…”
No?
“No.”
He knew he was gay, though?
“No. No, no, no, no!”
Was he suppressing it or not thinking about it?
“I would say suppressing. Definitely suppressing. I don’t believe people just don’t think about it.”
An upbeat, cheesy jazz remix of something or other starts playing outside the room.
“Oooh, this is the soundtrack for this bit of the interview,” says Scott. He wiggles his shoulders to the music.
I switch to strict dominatrix interviewer mode. Focus, I say. You were about to tell me something good.
“Oh, shit, was I? OK. I think what’s really insidious is that people don’t ask you about sex or… People wouldn’t say, ‘Are you gay or are you [straight]?’ And the lack of directness is very damaging. They just didn’t go there.”
Does he think his family, friends, the people closest to him knew then that he was gay?
“No,” he says. “I don’t think they did know. Or maybe they have a suspicion, but they think, I want to be respectful, so I’m not going to ask about that. Then [when you do come out], people say, ‘Oh, I’m glad.’ You know? If you do talk about it. So I suppose what I feel now is, talking about sex or sexuality is important. Really important.”
Having said that, “There’s still getting rid of the shame. In a situation like this, 10 or 15 years ago, I would have been…” He fakes shock, horror. “Oh no! Polly’s just asked me about [he switches to a whisper] that.”
Scott will talk about his sex life only notionally. No specifics. For 15 years, between 2001 and 2016, he was in a relationship with the actor turned screenwriter Stephen Beresford (Scott starred in Beresford’s 2014 film Pride). Ever since, he’s refused to answer questions about his romantic life.
And he’s not going to talk about it now, I presume.
“No.”
What if we talk about it opaquely?
“OK.”
Where does he see himself, domestically, in an ideal world? Married with kids whom he’ll, I dunno, adopt or have via surrogacy?
“I like it. It’s bold. Am I going to adopt or…?”
Get a surrogate?
“I definitely think that’s something I would be open to.”
Great, I say, with blatant sarcasm. Thanks. How specific.
“Ha! I’m sorry. OK. Have I got any children at the moment? No. How can I… [explain]? OK. I was with a friend of mine in Dublin…”
His partner?
“No, no, no. Not my partner. Ah ha. I see what you were…”
Teasing. Yes.
“Ha! Yes. So, I was with a friend in Dublin and we were walking around and he was looking at apartments and I was like, ‘What about this place here?’ You know? And he said, ‘No,’ and I said, ‘Why not?’ and he said, ‘I don’t live a heteronormative life, so I don’t want a heteronormative house.’ ”
What’s a heteronormative house?
“Two up, two down thing. He goes, ‘I can live in a loft or a weird space. I don’t need those things.’ He was so proud of it. He really owned it. I think where a lot of one’s pain comes from is when you go, ‘I should want that.’ And so, to answer your question opaquely, I have kids I adore. I love children, genuinely, and I had a very happy childhood. But I also feel, if I don’t have kids, that’s all right. I think I would’ve attached a lot of shame beforehand, with not living a particularly heteronormative life… Even with being gay, there’s a sort of way of being gay that’s acceptable. And I don’t feel that any more.”
He feels you can be unacceptably gay?
“Exactly. Exactly!”
I ask when shame shifted for him and Scott says it was when Ireland voted overwhelmingly in favour of same-sex marriage in the 2015 referendum, which felt, he says, “like acceptance, genuinely. And I remember going out to this gay bar in Dublin and this girl came up to me, this cool Dublin girl, and she said, ‘What are you doing here? You need to go down to, I don’t know, blah, blah, this bar in some park.’ She was saying, ‘This isn’t the right gay bar for you. This is some shit gig,’ when the fact I’m in a gay bar in Ireland [at all] is a miracle to me, and then some person with a half-shaved head is telling me, ‘No, you need to go somewhere cooler.’ ”
His left eye starts weeping again.
“I’m so happy about that,” he says. “Even though I’m crying.”
I ask Scott if he has a game plan when picking roles, if he plots his course from Sherlock villain to Bond quasi-villain (he played Max Denbigh in Spectre) to sex icon, and, if so, what next? “No. Jesus, no,” he says.
We talk about the totalitarianism of social media, which he isn’t on, and share a mutual despair over it. “I thought it was something one would associate with the right, but actually, now it’s [the left] that is very ‘you’re this’ or ‘you’re that’. I find that quite frightening. It actually makes me feel ferocious.”
Is he not worried about being cancelled, of somehow saying the “wrong” thing, according to Twitter sensitivities, then having a thousand voices mobilised against him, demanding his firing, in the style of JK Rowling?
“I’m not,” he says. “I refuse to be. A very intelligent person I was talking to recently was writing a book and he said, ‘I’m going to get a sensitivity expert to have a look. I don’t want to get cancelled.’ I found that frightening.”
Is he rich? “Rich is the absence of worry about money,” he says. He can’t remember the last time he worried about money.
That must be nice.
“Of course it f***ing is. I think it’s a miracle. I really do. I was working in a French theatre in London for nothing – none of us was working for anything – and I remember the artistic director of the theatre talking about the fact we weren’t earning any money as some sort of virtue. I remember feeling really annoyed about that, like this isn’t good.”
This leads to an inevitable conversation about how the arts are suffering with Covid, including a segue down the Fatima route, the much shared government advert that depicted a young ballerina and suggested she retrain in something called cyber. “Her name’s not even Fatima,” Scott rails. “I think she’s called Desire’e. From New York.”
I mean to ask him about his experience of filming The Pursuit of Love with Lily James and Dominic West, stars of their own recent off-screen micro-scandal in Rome, just in case he lets any scurrilous insight slip, but our time’s up and it’s not as if Scott has much form on offering up scurrilous insight anyway.
Still, I feel grateful to him for meeting me halfway on the other stuff. And so I say goodbye to Andrew Scott, the UK’s foremost gay heterosexual lapsed Catholic faux-priest lust icon with a troublesome eye infection.
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for-peace-war · 4 years ago
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do you think "race-swapping" a character in writing matters or is a good thing in representation? (for example, if harry potter who is "commonly portrayed as white" is portrayed instead by a black or arabic boy/man.)
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I apologize in advance for how long it took me to get to these questions, and honestly, probably how long the answers will be to them.  So if you don’t want to see some discourse on race-relations in fantasy, then smash that J button and keep on moving.
Anyway.
Question 1:
In regard to the first question, that of “race-swapping,” I would compare it to the art concept known as “paintovers.”  Although the term is stigmatized in many circles because of how [lazy] it is, the truth is that there is an artistry and skill involved in being able to take something and remain true to its premise, while at the same time modifying its appearance.  In that field, let’s just simplify it to: there are good and bad paintovers.
I feel that the race-swap has the same standard of qualification.
The essential question I always ask myself is: why.  Why does this character need to be swapped, why did you pick this alternative, why do you feel this enhances the story in some way?  Why is not an argumentative or even exclusionary inquiry: it’s asking the creator to return to their first impulse and exam what it is.
So we have “Arabic or Black Harry Potter.”  There are a lot of questions that come up there, but I’ll divide them down into this:
Does Arabic/Black Harry Potter represent something White Harry Potter doesn’t?
Can this character be conveyed without an over simplification of some cultural aspect to “mark” them.
Who is this for?
In the case of the first question, I think that a Black/Arabic Harry Potter already has a lot of merit.  The issue is, we equate Englishness with Whiteness and to have a titular character in a series, a “nerd,” no less have the qualifications of something other than “just your average white Briton!” then I think you already have something there.
Of course, people will consider this tokenism at its outset, but I’d disagree.  While taking a Literary Criticism class, the discussion of Harry Potter actually came up.  In the conversation, one of the students said: “Well, I wouldn’t mind fi Ron or Hermoine were black, to be honest.”  Which is, on its face, a fine statement—I too am glad that you wouldn’t mind a black character existing — but the beauty of it of course, came from what was being excluded: Harry Potter, by contrast, shouldn’t be black.
This is why I would say that something as miniscule as swapping a color palette on a character is more than tokenism: by the simple act of existing as a marginalized person, the main character has already made a statement that people will take issue with.  How often do we see “politics in gaming!” when a main character isn’t a heterosexual white male?
So, if Harry Potter was a non-white character? I’d say it’d be worth examining.  But that delves into the second part. Can this be shown without it becoming a series of stereotypes?
I would say yes. Assuming that a person didn’t want to keep the stock nature of Harry Potter’s backstory consistent, which honestly I have no opinion on, there’s nothing wrong with drawing into consideration the places that people of various races/ethnicities are most prevalent.  So, if for instance, Arabic Harry Potter lives in an area that differs from White Harry Potter that isn’t bad, but it is worth expressing what this means in comparison to the former: how does this change influence the character’s core self and beliefs? Does it not? At all?
England has always had a fetishitic view of “Englishness,” and as media can [reproduce] life into the format the creator wants, it’s worth really examining what could be said by Harry Potter, the main character of an English series, not being as “English” as the aforementioned view might have indicated.  In a post-Brexit world, after all, we have seen that the notion of Englishness has become something of increasing fantasy.
So put Harry Potter the non-white in conflict with something “traditional” in its English nature, and this doesn’t even mean a racially themed motiff, it could be class or even generationally based.  Just say something with the change that isn’t already being said.
I’d like to take that point to also say, people probably should break their desire to have non-white represent non-traditional in all other ways.  It’s a bit on the nose when people’s avatar for social disorder have to be coded as being non-white.  I’ll touch more on this in the second question.
The last part ties back into the first: who is this depiction actually for?  Is the purpose of this to show people that it can be done, or children of this background that they are being thought of? Both have good and bad sides to them, with the former’s benefits being that it brings to an end “conventional wisdom” like “Black Superhero Movies Never Sell!” (See: Black Panther), whereas the downside is you risk rushing into doing something with ltitle thought beyond that change.
As to the latter issue, the downside can only be that you may have to essentialize what the acceptable rate for this character is.  For black people, I’ll say out the gate that shadeism will always be where you see how an author views their subject matter.  If the attractive woman has to be of a lighter hue, then really it comes down to telling black girls and women that their skin needs to be lighter.  So in that regard, likely consider the choices you make when you make them.
In closing, my view on race-swapping is have a reason to do it. If you don’t, then probably leave it alone.
Question B:
This is a two part question but I think they can be synthesized down into one answer.
This is going to go back to my “non-white doesn’t mean non-traditional” thing and it’s a point I’ve had before, so whatever.  We’ll take “black elves” and look at them as a specimen of fetishitic racism.
Here’s the thing.  When we think of elves, generally yes, we do think of white people.  It’s just how it’s coded.  But the whiteness isn’t even necessary: be it duskwright, kaldorei, or drow: you know what they are when you see them.  So an elf doesn’t “need” to be white or maintain whiteness.  So why is it whenever the whiteness is removed, the entire semblance of what an elf is switches as well?
In the case of the former: unnatural hues make the “non-whiteness” a non-factor.  Duskwrights, Kaldorei, and Drow by standards don’t have “human” tones and so, their non-whiteness is more an aspect of just being fantasy characters.  But when people begin working in “shades of brown,” the themes immediately change: fatter, more aggressive, scarred, etc.  
Here’s the thing.  If your statement is “body positivity is good and I want my black elf to be fat,” then okay.  That’s cool.  I guess.  My issue is that this goes more in line with the notion that black people occupy more space than we should, and as a result, will do no less externally.  I’ll just also say right now that fat fetish characters that are about “how much she (almost always a female) eats” or “how many rolls she has,” is not an argument in favor of body positivity.  It’s both specifying the deviation from the “norm” and also deriding it through eroticism obsession.
But, I’m sorry.  The entire issue here is that dark characters exist to be, well, disgustingly perverse to social norms.  I understand that people want to show “badass” characters, but the more “badass” and scarred, the more the skin begins to darken.  This is, I believe, a subconscious aspect of what we view in characters: that there is something inherently dangerous, virile, and wild when it comes to darker complexions.  
So how does this tie back into elves? Well, show me some elegant black elves.
Elegance and refinement, typically, describe an elf.  Outside of any “racial” view, so long as the character has this [traditionalist] allure of an essential beauty and grace and has long ears, then yeah.  You have an elf. Simple as. No doubt about it.  So why do black elves need to be fat, having missing ears, be angry, etc? Because what the writer subconsciously feels is that these traits are more authentic to the black experience, and that is terrible and dangerous.  
When writing a character outside of yourself (which I strongly sugegst people do), I think that you need to be aware of your design choices (research and respect).  
So we can use World of Warcraft’s denizens as an example.  WoW’s always had a “world is white” standard to it. That’s problematic, I guess, but whatever.  Racial representation wasn’t big in the 90′s and still isn’t really that important to most people.  Yet even with that being said, players began trying to explain where their characters came from that weren’t white.  “Blacks come from Stranglethorn!” “Browns come from Tanaris!” on and on, and yeah, there are problems there, but the more pressing matter is that WoW just dropped the ball on different races of people.
Here’s the thing: there’s nothing wrong with people coming from different places.  You don’t need to go all Conan on it and say they came from Iraqistan and Zembabwe, but it’s worth noting that we all come from somewhere and end up where we do. I’d rather authors put more effort into examining that than they do in making up monsters and animals to represent these same groups of people in exoticisized and disturbing portrayals.
There’s also the option that race just doesn’t matter in your world.  It’s fantasy, why not?  We became so obessed with GRRM reminding us that “fantasy” means “imagine a world where white men have all the power and it’s okay!” and forgot that it can also mean “imagine a world where this problem just doesn’t exist.”   So if you do that, then it’s fine.  Code everyone together.  But make their representation reflect that.  If, say, in WOW race just didn’t matter then the breakdown of heroes would reflect that.  It doesn’t obviously.
So if you want to theme something like Zulu, then I guess I’d say do your research on it and know it beyond surface level considerations.  If you do that, then really do whatever.
And I’ll say, I don’t find people racist for not including non-whites in their stories, to an extent. But when it’s a glaring omission based purely on the desire to “keep Albion pure,” then it’s like, alright.  You’re being a racist and that’s your call. 
That’s all.  A lot of words.  Hope whoever sent this even sees it, lmao.
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orionsangel86 · 5 years ago
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75 Must Watch Supernatural Episodes in preparation for Season 15
As you might recall, a while ago TV Guide posted an article about their choice of the top 75 episodes of Supernatural to watch as a catch up of the series before the final season. 
I read that article, and found myself absolutely horrified at many of their choices and outraged that many of the all time best episodes (including ones extremely important to the story) were missed off.
Everyone has their own opinions of course, but when I disagree with something that much it tends to motivate me to act out of pure spite - I do love a good spite motivation - and so I have made my own list, for the fandom, of the 75 absolute must watch episodes for anyone who wants to understand the integral story of Supernatural.
I have to hand it to TV Guide, whilst I adamantly disagreed with their choices, I admit that this was EXTREMELY DIFFICULT and having to sacrifice some of my faves so that I could include others that were more important to the story HURT, but that’s how it is.
Full list under the cut. Let me know what you think of my choices and my reasons!
1. Pilot
You cannot start a series catch up anywhere else, and we have to include the pilot episode. Introducing us to Sam and Dean, and setting up the story including the back story with the family tragedy. You just can’t beat a good old fashioned female fridging for man pain. *jokes*
2. 1x06 Skin
I feel like Skin is an important episode to watch as it is our first real look at Dean’s psyche as a character, where we start to realise just how much he is hiding behind his tough macho man exterior. The speech by Shifter!Dean to a horrified and confused Sam is heartbreaking and very revealing. 
3. 1x12 Faith
This is still hands down one of Supernaturals best episodes. It was also the first time Kripke started considering a bigger mytharc involving faith and Christianity. We can all thank this episode for planting the seeds that would later give us the hugely popular character Castiel, and the hugely successful mytharc plots of Seasons 4 and 5. Also, one of the best music moments from the show with the “Don’t Fear The Reaper” chase scene.
4. 1x14 Nightmare
This episode introduces us to the Special Children story line which was of paramount importance to the first two seasons. It gives us the first glimpses of Sam’s powers to come, and is also the first time we get some hints of John Winchesters abuse of Dean.
5. 1x18 Something Wicked
I chose this episode because it is the first time we get to see more of Sam and Dean’s childhood, and how horrific it was - especially for Dean. A brilliant episode that once again clearly demonstrates how John Winchester is not a man to be messed with. If at this point you aren’t itching to call child services on his ass you probably need to read up on your understanding of child abuse.
6. 1x22 Devils Trap
The Season 1 finale gives us the show down between John Winchester and the Yellow Eyed Demon Azazel, some heartbreaking moments between father and sons, and a cliffhanger that leaves Baby and Dean both broken.
7. 2x01 In My Time of Dying
I love this episode. Dean’s out of body experience at the hospital, Sam’s grief, John’s deal, Tessa’s introduction to the show. C’est magnifique!
8. 2.05 Simon Said
I just think Simon Said is a great episode that further develops the special children plot whilst being both funny and dark at its core - classic SPN.
9. 2.15 Tall Tales
Our introduction to Gabriel - well, to the trickster as he is known here. This episode is gloriously funny and a must watch!
10. 2.21 All Hell Breaks Loose: Parts One and two
Okay I’m cheating a bit and putting these two episodes together, but in my opinion they count as their own feature length episode as you can’t watch one without the other. The climax of the special children arc, the deeply emotional Sam death scene and Dean’s bedside vigil, and Dean selling his soul. This two part season finale packed a lot of punches and is a definite must watch.
11. 3.03 Bad Day at Black Rock
How can anyone forget Sam’s run of bad luck in this hilarious episode. He LOST HIS SHOE!
12. 3.10 Dream a Little Dream of Me
This is another must watch episode for the deep dive into Dean’s psyche. We also get more of a backstory to Bobby Singer, but the real brilliance happens when Dean spends part of the episode talking to his own dark mirror, revealing all sorts of subconscious fears and insecurities on his part.
13. 3.11 Mystery Spot
I couldn’t not put Mystery Spot on the list. This infamous episode of Supernatural will have you singing “Heat of the Moment” over and over again whilst sympathising with poor Sam every time Tuesday comes around. Don’t let Dean eat the funny tasting tacos!
14. 3.16 No Rest for the Wicked
In lots of ways, Season 3 was a weak season. It was drastically shortened due to the writers strike at the time, and Kripke & Co didn’t get to tell the story they initially planned for, instead they had to come up with an alternative which gave us this dark finale in which Dean is condemned to hell. That can’t have been a fun hiatus for fans watching live... Still, it was a memorable finale and that is why it is on my list.
15. 4.01 Lazarus Rising
This episode. Here begins Supernaturals “golden age”. Enter Castiel, Angel of the Lord and future fan favourite right up until 2k19. How many people out in the world saw that now famous entrance and immediately fell in love? 
*holds up hand*
If you do nothing else, and you’ve never seen a single episode of Supernatural before, just watch this one, and I guarantee, I GUARANTEE, you will want to keep watching.
16. 4.07 It's the Great Pumpkin, Sam Winchester
The problem I have with season 4 is that I want to put basically every episode on the list. To this day it remains my favourite season of the show (and not just for the extreme DeanCas sexual tension). I kept this episode on the list simply because I love the Halloween theme, I love the frankly horrifying Samhain, and I LOVE the journey that Castiel goes through in this episode alone. Bonus points for Sam Winchester fangirling over Castiel proving he is no different from the rest of us. :P
17. 4.16 On the Head of a Pin
I say season 4 is my favourite season, and On the Head of a Pin is one of my all time favourite episodes. This is Supernatural at it’s finest and it’s not surprising as it was written by the great Ben Edlund. It is a perfect blend of horror and angst as we watch every character painfully spiral downwards. Sam hungrily drinks Ruby’s blood much to the audiences horror, Castiel faces his internal and external conflicts as all starts to unravel in the heavenly plans, and Dean plays a terrifying game of wits in an outstanding performance with the demon Alistair, his hellish torturer. It was a performance that Jensen Ackles should have won an Emmy for in my honest opinion. This episode has forever ruined the song “Cheek to Cheek” for me, but it was so worth it.
18. 4.17 It's a Terrible Life
It’s one of the classics. This AU world in which the angels flex their power over the Winchesters is another well loved fan favourite and quite frankly deserves to be here purely for the hilarious scene that many office workers all over the world would wish they could reenact as Sam quits his job in the most Sam Winchester way possible. 
19. 4.20 The Rapture
I had to keep this episode here because it is so important for future story lines. As Castiel gets closer to Dean, heaven takes action and we meet Jimmy Novak, Cas’s tormented vessel, and in Castiel’s own future words “his greatest regret”. It’s a deeply emotional episode that proves even angels have their dark sides.
20. 4.22 Lucifer Rising
The Season 4 finale is still one of the most epic in my opinion. Sam and Dean’s dramatic fight in the episode before has left them both vulnerable to the angels and demons that are manipulating them for their own purposes. Ruby’s villain reveal speech is still one of the best, and as she shows her true colours to a horrified Sam, Dean makes an angel fall for him. In every way. 
21. 5.03 Free to Be You and Me
This episode is another classic and many fans of Destiel would put it among their top episodes. As Sam and Dean go their separate ways, Dean grows closer to a now fallen and socially awkward Castiel.
22. 5.04 The End
Another epic from the mastermind that is Ben Edlund. The End has inspired much extremely angst ridden fanfiction over the years (and a very romantic song in a future musical episode) and is notorious for breaking fans hearts the world over. As Dean is unwillingly sent to a future apocalyptic world, he meets his harsh and brutal future self, and a drug addled hedonistic human Castiel. The most memorable and painful moment being his confrontation with a sharply dressed Lucifer wearing his brothers face. Tears flowed freely from fans the night this episode aired. 
23. 5.08 Changing Channels
Changing Channels is another of those infamous episodes that even non fans of SPN are aware of for it’s sheer lunacy. Sam and Dean once again find themselves up against the trickster aka the archangel Gabriel, who puts them into a TV world where they must “play their roles” in order to survive. 
Highlights include Sam’s herpes commercial and Dean’s heart eyes for Doctor Sexy MD. 
24. 5.16 Dark Side of the Moon
Dark Side of the Moon is a beautiful episode. The race through heaven and through each Winchester’s memories gives us a far greater understanding of their complex and troubled relationship. The heartbreaking scenes of Dean’s heaven with his mother that Sam could not be part of were especially painful to watch. The climax reveal that God wasn’t listening and Castiel’s subsequent loss of faith only added to that heartbreak. Another must see episode.
25. 5.18 Point of No Return
As is the case with season 4, it was so difficult not to just put every season 5 episode on this list. I do think that both seasons just need to be watched in full to truly grasp how brilliant they were. Point of No Return needs to be on this list though because this episode is the breaking point, the tensions remain high throughout as each character makes desperate choices as they all spiral towards the Endtimes.
26. 5.22 Swan Song
Swan Song is often considered the number 1 top episode of Supernatural. It is always at the top of these “rank the episodes” lists in the media, and that is why it is on my list too. It is brilliant in many ways, but if I am being completely honest it doesn’t even come close to the top of my own personal list ranking SPN episodes. It is certainly emotional, and there are some extremely heartbreaking scenes. Lucifer plays his hand, Dean plays his right back with the power of love, Sam makes his swan dive. It’s heartbreaking, it needs to be watched, but the “endings are hard” meta moan by Kripke always felt slightly too pretentious for my tastes. Don’t make excuses dude, this episode didn’t need them.
27. 6.11 Appointment in Samarra
I’ll be honest, I didn’t like season 6. Whilst some of the individual episodes were good, the mytharc was weak and I think the season struggled to find it’s feet for many episodes at the start. I didn’t like soulless Sam, preferring my Sammy to be the compassionate caring sweetheart he always was before. That being said, Appointment in Samarra is a brilliant standalone episode simply because the character of Death is so very compelling. Dean’s time playing Death was fun whilst also being a deeply emotional exploration of cause and effect in the universe. It’s a must watch.
28. 6.15 The French Mistake
I couldn’t not put this episode on the list. If Season 6 did one thing right, it was this ridiculous episode.
29. 6.20 The Man Who Would Be King
The only other thing Season 6 did right. 6x20 is Ben Edlund’s masterpiece and without it, frankly, the entire mytharc plot of the season would fail miserably. This beautiful episode told from the point of view of a hugely conflicted Castiel not only birthed an entire new generation of Destiel shippers, but canonically confirmed that Castiel’s every decision was motivated by his love for Dean. 
*Ouch my shipper heart*
30. 6.22 The Man Who Knew Too Much
The season 6 finale is on this list purely for two characters: Sam and Cas. Sam’s journey to put himself back together inside his own head is as enjoyable as it is emotional. Castiel’s spiralling through into utter villainy is simply soul destroying - especially for those of us who are heavily invested in this character. 
31. 7.01 Meet the New Boss
I had to keep the season 7 premiere in this episode as it is the only hint we have of what could have been an AMAZING season story line! Sadly, it was not to be, and Castiel’s run as God lasts this episode only before a very misguided showrunner wrote him off the show (thankfully she saw reason and brought him back dramatically later on, even though the damage and huge drop in ratings was already done.) Worth watching purely for enjoying a power drunk Castiel wipe out a homophobic preacher - he really doesn’t like those homophobes!
32. 7.10 Death's Door
The first time I watched Death’s Door I sobbed for 20 minutes straight. Bobby Singer was the best father Sam and Dean (and Castiel at times) could have ever had, and this heartfelt goodbye to the character as he fought against his reaper and his own memories really packed a punch.
33. 7.17 The Born-Again Identity
The episode that turned it all around. The Born-Again Identity sees a desperate Dean take a chance on a mysterious healer to help a haunted Sam. That healer turns out to be everything Dean has been waiting for. Castiel’s dramatic return to the series answered both Deans, and many fans, prayers. 
34. 7.20 The Girl with the Dungeons and Dragons Tattoo
The introduction of Charlie Bradbury was a must on this list. She immediately became a fan favourite with her upbeat quirkiness. Created to be an avatar for fandom in many ways, she was a breath of fresh air compared to the previous fan avatar the show introduced us too who the less we mention the better. This episode was a lighthearted fun episode in an otherwise downright depressing season.
35. 7.23 Survival of the Fittest
It’s a must watch for the dick jokes alone. In all seriousness, I like this episode, even if it is another weak finale compared to others. The dynamic between Dean, Sam, Meg, and a Castiel who isn’t quite himself, is enjoyable, even if the villain of the season isn’t all that interesting.
36. 8.02 What's Up, Tiger Mommy?
Where the season 8 premiere focused on the present day, and what Sam had been doing in the year between the season 7 finale and now, episode 2 focuses more on purgatory. Dean’s time in purgatory desperately hunting for an AWOL Castiel is definitely worth the watch, especially when their purgatory reunion was so heartbreaking. Bonus points for Sam being worthy of Mjolnir!
37. 8.07 A Little Slice of Kevin
I make no secret of the fact that Castiel is my favourite character in Supernatural, or my love of Dean and Castiel’s relationship. This episode is on my list because Castiel’s return to the real world and an emotional Dean gets my fangirl heart pounding. This episode must use every romantic trope in the book on these two heartbroken dumbasses and it will always be a favourite.
38. 8.08 Hunteri Heroici
This episode is another one of my favourite. The boys finally bring Cas along on an otherwise regular monster of the week hunt, and it is hilarious. Not to mention the hunt is extremely loony and for that reason alone, it is a must watch.
39. 8.11 LARP and the Real Girl
The reintroduction of Charlie Bradbury is a delightful episode where the boys get a taste of LARPING. This is one of those memorable episodes where we get to see the Winchesters both out of their element, and also embracing a bit of fun outside of their normal dark lives. It is a joyful episode to watch.
40. 8.12 As Time Goes By
An integral episode that ends up being a game changer for the show. Thanks to a time travel spell, the boys find out their grandfather was part of a secret organisation. This episode is a must watch for the introduction of Abaddon, the Men of Letters, and the Winchester’s new home base that will see them through to the end of the series - the Bunker.
41. 8.17 Goodbye Stranger
Goodbye Stranger is one of those episodes that will break your heart and leave you screaming. Castiel finally breaks free from heavens grasp - but what broke the connection?
42. 8.23 Sacrifice
I adore the season 8 finale. Crowley’s confession, Sam’s heartbreaking speech which kicked off a long ongoing arc over the next 6 seasons exploring the darker side of the Winchester’s codependency, Metatron’s betrayal, and Castiel’s fall to humanity. The final scene with the angels fall to Earth is beautiful and emotional and I just love everything about it.
43. 9.01 I Think I'm Gonna Like It Here
The season 9 premiere is another deeply emotional episode which explores the aftermath of Sam’s trials to close the gates of hell. Sam is once again on deaths door, but Dean has ideas to save him - and his choices drastically affect the course of both brothers, and Castiel’s, lives for the next several seasons of pain and downward spirals into darkness. 
44. 9.06 Heaven Can't Wait
The first ever episode written by our angst goblin king Bobo Berens and what a first episode it was. This episode was like a twisted mix between tragedy and romantic comedy but it worked brilliantly. Fans of Dean and Cas both laughed and wept at it’s perfection. It also was the episode that birthed a thousand fanfics thanks to one well placed “fanfiction gap”.
45. 9.11 First Born
This episode is one of the highlights of Season 9, with a brilliant performance by Timothy Omundson as Cain, this episode sees Dean make the terrible mistake of signing a contract before reading the terms and conditions. Bonus side plot of Sam and Cas getting some Bunker bonding time.
46. 9.18 Meta Fiction
This Castiel focused episode from the genius mind of Robbie Thompson is another must watch. The villainous Metatron manipulates Cas into playing a role in his own scripted story. Bonus guest appearance from fan favourite Gabriel adds to the appeal of this episode. (Following the season 14 finale I can’t help but wonder if this episode had some influence on the current writing team - could we even call it foreshadowing?)
47. 9.23 Do You Believe in Miracles?
The season 9 finale was another very strong episode which must be watched if only for the huge cliffhanger ending. Dean spirals into his own darkness under the effects of the Mark of Cain, and pays for it with his life. Thankfully Crowley is there to make things “better” and take the wayward Winchester under his demonic wing.
48. 10.03 Soul Survivor
Like many others, I feel that we were robbed of a longer Demon!Dean arc. I also feel like the show could have gone far darker with the character given everything we know about poor Dean’s psyche. Whilst episodes 1 and 2 took a lighter touch the demon, Soul Survivor was as close as we got to a truly evil representation of Dean and this episode shook me with the truly brilliant yet terrifying performance Jensen gives us. 
49. 10.05 Fan Fiction
Fan Fiction is one of those episodes that you will either love or hate. Created as a love letter to the shows fandom, Robbie Thompson poured his heart into this episode and I do think it is a necessary watch even if just for the beautiful rendition of Carry on Wayward Son at the end. Some may find it cringeworthy in parts - many in fandom don’t exactly like the show drawing attention to their “dirty laundry” and I don’t think anyone will forget a fangirl telling Dean Winchester directly that “you can’t spell subtext without S-E-X” nor the break-the-forth-wall look Dean gives the audience upon hearing that. Nevertheless, we can officially say that both Destiel and Sastiel have been mentioned directly by the Winchester brothers - funnily enough Sam seems totally cool with the concept of hooking up with Cas; Dean though, well, as the saying goes “the lady doth protest too much”.
50. 10.14 The Executioner's Song
Like with First Born, this episode is a must watch for Timothy Odmunson’s performance as Cain, and how brilliantly he and Jensen work together. A haunting and tense episode with a heartbreaking conclusion. It’s dark and deep and pretty damn epic.
Bonus Episode Shout Out - 10.16 Paint it Black
I am not actually including this episode in the list, as it is a generic MOTW for the most part. But I do want to give it an honorary mention for one scene in particular. If you are new to the show, and are planning on using this list to catch up, then for this episode, go to YouTube and search “Supernatural 10x16 Dean’s confession”. TRUST ME. If like me, you love analysing Dean’s character to death, his church confession in this episode is like being given the key to figuring out the meaning of life. 
51. 10.22 The Prisoner
I have chosen this episode over the Season 10 finale because this episode depicts Dean’s spiral into total darkness, whereas the season 10 finale always felt like a particularly weak episode to me. Following Charlie’s horrific (and highly controversial) death, Dean lets the Mark of Cain consume him and goes on a killing spree. The ending of this episode ripped my heart to shreds as Castiel promises that he will stay with Dean forever, only for Dean to beat him to near death and only stop at the last minute thanks to that final shred of humanity left in him. If the shot of a bloodied and heartbroken Castiel staring at the angel blade that narrowly missed his head doesn’t make you cry, then I don’t even know why you watch this show.
52. 11.04 Baby
Another fan favourite told from the point of view from the Impala which at this point is definitely its own character and so much more than just a car. Baby is an extremely well put together episode which confirms that there is more than a little bit of magic in that sleek 1967 muscle car.
53. 11.11 Into the Mystic
Into the Mystic introduces us to Eileen Leahy, a character who we all immediately fell in love with, and not just because she is literally PERFECT for Sam Winchester (yes I ship it), but also because she is a badass female hunter and this show is most definitely lacking badass female hunters. It also keeps us on the edge of our seats as Lucifer disguised as Castiel infiltrates the bunker and manages to trick Dean. Epic stuff.
54. 11.17 Red Meat
A well known controversial episode, Red Meat penned by Angst Goblin Bobo Berens delves into the darker, more toxic parts of the Winchester brothers relationship, and highlights just how horrific their codependency has become. Love it or hate it, you can’t deny that it highlights that these boys have some serious issues, and this episode marks a turning point from which both brothers, but especially Dean, start to move upwards, towards a more healthy bond.
55. 11.18 Hell's Angel
The fight to save Castiel from Lucifer’s clutches would be so much easier if the depressed angel actually knew how much he was loved by his Winchester family. Unfortunately for him, Dean is a dumbass who never uses his words. Hell’s Angel is heartbreaking but a must watch if you have any doubt in how much Dean Winchester cares for his angelic guardian. Lucifer’s mockery of his desperation is a particularly nasty knife twist, but then again us fans lap this stuff up. 
56. 11.20 Don't Call Me Shurley
The dramatic return of Chuck AKA God. Another must watch episode which explains in some way what the hell God has been doing all this time, whilst Sam and Dean fight to save a small town from a deathly supernatural fog. The tear-jerking song “Fare Thee Well” sung by Rob Benedict at the end not only foreshadows God’s “death” at the end of the season, but also the departure of fan favourite writer Robbie Thompson from the writing team. Emotional indeed.
57. 11.23 Alpha and Omega
The season 11 finale marks the first time in the shows history that a finale doesn’t have a single death. The uplifting ending in which the boys manage to save the world and reunite God and his sister is a one off for Supernatural, especially when it ends with another shock character resurrection - symbolising a new direction for the show and a new showrunner. This was an epic finale that I thoroughly enjoyed.
58. 12.01 Keep Calm and Carry On
The Season 12 premiere saw the return of Mary Winchester, an awkward introduction with a shocked and overjoyed Castiel, and a dramatic race to save Sam from the British Men of Letters. It sets up a far more human mytharc plot than the previous seasons world ending battles between Gods, but with Mary’s introduction, and Andrew Dabb at the wheel, the story is about to get a whole bunch more personal.
59. 12.10 Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets
One of my all time favourite episodes, Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets gives us a very small peek at Castiel’s pre-Winchester past, and his beautiful female former vessel (no matter what form Castiel resides in, he is always beautiful - a fact referenced in show almost as often as out of it!). It also confirms that no matter how much Cas and Dean may bicker with each other, no one else insults Dean Winchesters angel and gets away with it! Bonus points for long suffering third wheel Sam Winchesters epic bitch faces and eye rolls throughout.
60. 12.11 Regarding Dean
This episode is one of those rare beauties which gets the balance between humour and heartbreak just right. As Dean rapidly loses his memories under a witches spell, Sam and Rowena fight to save him. Regarding Dean explores deep themes including Dean’s loss of childhood innocence at a young age, and how a life shrouded in darkness has effected him. Pure heartbreak. Bonus points for THAT scene on the bucking bronco. 
61. 12.12 Stuck in the Middle (With You)
Another all time favourite, directed by our very own Richard Speight Jr in a highly stylised homage to Reservoir Dogs and other Tarantino movies. Castiel takes the role of Mr Orange in this gruesome tale, much to the distress of Mr White AKA Dean. One absolutely devastating love confession later and there isn’t a dry eye in the house. DO NOT SKIP THIS EPISODE.
62. 12.19 The Future
The episode that shook the fandom to it’s core thanks to one tiny moment. A desperate Castiel makes some bad decisions, but not before first using Dean’s love for him against him. The knowledge that Dean at one point made a tailored mixtape of his favourite Led Zeppelin songs and gave it to Castiel as a gift BROKE ME. To this day I am still not over this information. To this day I cannot quite get Dean’s soft voice saying “it’s a gift, you keep those.” out of my head. Just remembering the scene as I write this makes my heart flutter and I STILL can’t believe that the writers took the show in this direction. It’s beautiful.
63. 12.22 Who We Are
This heartbreaking episode reveals the importance of Mary’s return to the show, as Dean goes into his mothers own head to try to save her from brainwashing. A truly epic performance from Jensen Ackles (once again) in which Dean finally admits his own burdens, explains how he was robbed of his childhood, and how he was forced into the role of parent to his younger brother when he was 4 years old. Ah that character development is truly delicious. 
64. 12.23 All Along the Watchtower
The season 12 finale packs a lot of punches. The imminent birth of Lucifer’s nephilim son causes a rift in the universe, opening a doorway to another world. As the tension builds to a dramatic conclusion, Lucifer plays his hand, unwittingly trapping himself in the AU world with one beloved character, as another sacrifices himself and a third tragic death leaves Dean shattered and broken on the ground. 
65. 13.01 Lost and Found
The season 13 premier was everything I have ever wanted from a Supernatural episode - namely PAAAAAIN. The last 10 minutes of this episode in particular had me ugly crying into @margarittet and @tinkdw‘s laps. In fact, every time I rewatch this episode I cry again. As we are introduced to Jack, we say goodbye to Castiel, and my god, I will never get over watching Dean Winchester wrap the body of his angel in preparation for the pyre and try so hard to keep it together. Same Dean. Same.
66. 13.05 Advanced Thanatology
Where Lost and Found broke my heart, Advanced Thanatology stamped on the shattered pieces until the final seconds in which it magically pulled me back together again. This episode was the climactic end to a 5 episode mini grief arc for Dean who just couldn’t get over Castiel’s death. In this episode, we realise just how badly that death has affected Dean, as he foolishly risks his life in his desperation for any kind of win he can get. Episode highlights include a brilliant performance from Billie who has assumed the role of Death as she knocks some sense into Dean, and the final dramatic return of Castiel, proving that “it’s never too late to start all over again”.
67. 13.06 Tombstone
Following 5 episodes of extreme angst and pain, the audience is finally given some relief in this joyful episode which sees the reunited Winchesters take their new son on a trip to cowboy country. Honestly it’s worth watching purely for Castiel’s attempt at playing cowboy to make Dean happy, and Sam Winchesters knowing looks as he pointedly calls out Dean’s dramatic 180 turn from uber depressive to ecstatic happiness following his angels return to the world of the living. Bonus points for this episode getting the hashtag #brokebacksupernatural trending on Twitter. 
68. 13.10 Wayward Sisters
The episode that should have kicked off a whole new spin off were it not for the idiotic decisions of a group of suited white guys with no concept of what decent TV is nowadays. Yes I’m still bitter, Yes Mark Pedowitz can go to hell. Wayward Sisters was a brilliant episode that gave us a whole new generation of badass hunting women, and a story that I was 100% invested in seeing more of. It’s a damn tragedy this never got picked up for its own series.
69. 13.16 Scoobynatural
I can’t write a list of top episodes without adding Scoobynatural. The three Winchester boys find themselves zapped into TV land and meet the Scooby Gang. This episode was just hilarious and brilliant. Bonus points for Castiel’s bond with Shaggy and Scooby, and only a minor deduction for Dean’s over the top flirting with Daphne.
70. 13.21 Beat the Devil
In true Supernatural fashion, as the end of the season gets closer, the tension builds to extreme levels. In the apocalypse world the Winchesters try to find and save Jack and Mary, but Lucifer is on their tails. An unexpected attack leads to a highly traumatic and shocking scene in which Sam is killed and a distraught Dean is only pulled away from further danger by a terrified Castiel. The final scene of this episode in which Lucifer resurrects Sam in a truly horrific display of power over his former victim and vessel is haunting and brilliantly acted by Jared Padalecki. The fear he radiates around Lucifer being the only thing that allows me to continue to take the devil seriously at this point in the show. 
71. 14.08 Byzantium 
I know what you are going to say, I have skipped a BIG chunk of episodes in my list. I have to be honest here and admit that the season 13 finale was possibly one of the worst episodes in Supernatural history and I can’t in good conscience add it to this list. I also think that the writers struggled to pull themselves back up to the high standard of early season 13 after that dreadful finale, so the first half of Season 14 always felt a bit dull for me, however Byzantium does make up for it, in it’s emotional story of how Sam, Dean, and Castiel all deal with the death of their son. The highlights of this episode have to be the scenes in heaven, where Jack reunites with his mother Kelly, and Castiel finds them both in her own piece of paradise in another tear-jerking scene. Castiel’s deal with the creature from the Empty leaving Cas fans everywhere horrified and distraught, but also rather excited at what exactly may trigger the deadly deal. Hopefully this plot point will be picked up next season, as it is definitely highly anticipated.
72. 14.10 Nihilism
Another dream episode for any Dean fans who like to analyse his beautifully deep and layered psyche. Sam and Cas must dive into Dean’s mind in order to free him from the archangel Michael. What they find is worth several essay’s of analysis on this fascinating and wonderful character. Dean’s bar; surrounded by symbols and hints of his life and a very apt song put on repeat - Will Dean ever get his rainbow ending? Only one more season to go until we find out.
73. 14.14 Ouroboros
Following all the drama and separation of the Winchester family, they finally all reunite in this episode to hunt a gorgon. I always prefer the episodes where Sam, Dean, Cas, and Jack all work together, and this episode explores the group dynamic perfectly. The gorgon is a charismatic villain who taunts our heroes and has them all fighting to keep up with him. Put it simply this is just a fun episode and exactly what we want from our MOTW episodes in the new Supernatural era.
74. 14.15 Peace of Mind
Just like the previous episode, Peace of Mind is simply one of the more fun and enjoyable episodes of the season. So much so in fact that I have probably re-watched it a dozen times because I loved it so much. In a rare team up between Sam and Cas, they find themselves stuck in a Pleasantville type place. Hilarity ensues, and poor Sam gets himself stuck in a 1950s style marriage and a sweater vest. Castiel reads some raunchy erotica and enjoys it. You will find yourselves laughing at “H-E-double hockey sticks” for hours afterwards. A must watch lighthearted episode in an otherwise dark season.
75. 14.20 Moriah
The season 14 finale was certainly one of the more epic finales we have had, and a meta masterpiece penned by showrunner Andrew Dabb. As Dean’s anger and grief following Mary’s death only deepens, and the rift between him and Castiel continues, it is Sam who discovers that all this time, for their entire lives, they have all been nothing more than characters in a world created by a cruel and manipulative writer God. Chuck’s return and reveal as the villain of the entire show came as a shock to many fans who saw him as a beloved fan favourite, but to many others, myself included, this reveal harmonises this entire story and the Winchesters long and traumatic journey and blows my mind at just how perfect it all is. God Was Never On Your Side, and this has always been a show to stress the importance of free will in a Godless world. 
*chef’s kiss*
Bring on Season 15.
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dickshardblog · 5 years ago
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For Russia With Love: The Tara Reade Story?
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There are three women I know of now whose name is pronounced Tar-uh Reed. Tara Reid is an actress who starred in the Sharknado franchise. Tara Reed is an artist and designer. She designed my favorite coffee mug.  And now I've learned that there is a Tara Reade, who used to work for Joe Biden.
When I heard about the allegation that Tara Reade made against Joe Biden, I was deeply disturbed. Were Biden's hands on shoulders, close-ear talking, hair petting, and hugs something more than just an overly-affectionate guy with boundary issues and a lack of understanding of personal space? It had always looked uncomfortable, but innocent, to me. And, if it's innocent, I find it strangely endearing, despite the fact that I don't personally like to be touched by strangers.
He's not just overly familiar with females. For every picture of Joe Biden petting a little girl's hair, there's another of him with his arms around a man, gazing into his eyes, or practically kissing his ear. I could do a Google image search and come up with some pretty compelling visual evidence that Joe Biden is in love with several men. He's not. At least, I don't believe so. Some people are huggers. And Joe Biden is a hugger extraordinaire.
I think the world no longer tolerates that, but I also think it is both innocent and changeable behavior. Unlike Trump, Biden does have some sense of self-awareness, can listen to criticism, and make changes.
I'll be honest:  I really don't want the allegations to be true. I do have that bias, and I will freely admit it. I always have that bias. No matter who it is. Like any regular person, I don't want sexual assault to happen. I would hope we all have that bias. I hope that none of us would wish a woman had been sexually assaulted so we could have some ammunition against a political opponent. But I know better. There are plenty of people who really hope Biden did exactly what Reade says he did. And we all know it does happen, of course.
Tara Reade's story, when I first heard it, sounded credible. In a public, yet deserted hallway, Biden pinned her to a wall, groped her, kissed on her, and asked if she wanted to go somewhere else. When she reacted negatively, he said, "Come on, Man, I heard you liked me." Shit. That sounds like Joe Biden, I can hear him saying that. So, it sounds bad. I agree that we should listen to women. We should take them seriously. We should look into their allegations and dig until we find the truth. I let other people do the investigative journalism. I found their articles, checked their sources and compiled a pretty decent collection of truths that form a pretty cohesive picture.
Here's the truth that I have found:
In 2009, Reade wrote an article commending Biden's work on the Violence Against Women act. The same year, she wrote another article claiming that she'd left DC because her husband had received a job offer to manage a Congressman's campaign in the Midwest, and she'd moved with him.
From late 2016 to early 2017, she had a Twitter account using her newly married name, Tara McCabe.  She used this platform to praise Biden on multiple occasions.  She retweeted him saying, "My old boss speaks truth. Listen." This Twitter account also featured a lot of anti-Russia, anti-Putin sentiment.
Then, in 2018, she writes in an Op Ed for Medium which praises Russia and Putin, that she left Washington because she "saw the reckless imperialism of America and the pain it caused through out the world," and because she loved Russia with all her heart. In this article she describes Putin as a "compassionate, caring, visionary leader."
She wrote several pro-Russia, pro-Putin articles during this time, gushing over him, saying, "President Putin has an alluring combination of strength with gentleness. His sensuous image projects his love for life, the embodiment of grace while facing adversity. It is evident that he loves his country, his people and his job … President Putin’s obvious reverence for women, children and animals, and his ability with sports is intoxicating to American women … And like most women across the world, I like President Putin… a lot, his shirt on or shirt off.”
Then in 2019, she's all in for Bernie Sanders. She wrote another article, with yet a different reason for leaving, this one with the harassment allegation attached. "Then, I went to Senate personnel for help. No one helped me. I resigned or I would say, I was forced to resign."  The report she says she filed doesn't seem to exist.
When she started attacking Biden publicly, she also resumed denouncing Putin. Putin was bad again. When the media dug up her old articles praising Putin, she deleted them. Too late, of course. They can no longer be found where they were originally published, but copies were made. She now claims they were part of a novel she was writing that was set in Russia. They were clearly op-eds, not notes for a novel. No novelist I know of publishes their novel notes as op-eds while they're working on the book.
There are a whole lot of other inconsistencies, people she says she told about the incident denying any knowledge, her brother pointedly changing his story, an old neighbor of hers coming forward to say she wouldn't trust a word Reade says, and countless other glowing red flags.  But this blog is already so very long, and I haven't even gotten to the meat of what I want to talk about yet. This has all just been background, the evidence I followed to form my theory of what is going on with this. And I want to get it down before I read it somewhere else.
I've got a theory! It could be Russia!
Okay, hear me out. Here's what I think might have happened:
Sometime in late 2017 or early 2018, Reade somehow becomes involved in communications with Russia, a political operative, maybe even someone in the government. Hell, perhaps even Putin himself, a highly unlikely prospect, of course. But not outside the realm of possibility. I wouldn't be surprised to hear that Putin maintains a stash of burner phones and carries on flirtatiously with American Women in his spare time. It's the stuff of spy novels, sure. Yeah, it's far-fetched, but allow me my fantastic imaginings. I am a fiction writer, after all.
But a Russian political operative of some kind becomes romantically involved long-distance with Reade. Of course it's not a real relationship, not on the Russian side. They are just using American citizens as sleeper agents they can prompt to stir up shit when it would cause the most damage.
Reade is manipulated to turn against Joe Biden and encouraged to back Bernie Sanders. Now, an aside at this point. I like Bernie. I would vote for Bernie, I'd love to see him as President. I don't believe that Bernie Sanders or his campaign are involved in any collusion with the Russian government in any way, and both he and his campaign openly discourage Russian meddling. None-the-less, there still exists evidence that Russia has interfered in ways favorable to Sanders and his campaign. Russia doesn't want Bernie Sanders as President, but some of Sanders more rabid supporters are very easily influenced by carefully placed fake news stories and are extremely useful at stirring up political infighting on the left. Alright, back to my theory.
At this time, she's also advised to stop praising Russia, so as not to raise any suspicion. And, finally, to drop that allegation bomb on Joe Biden right when it would do the most damage. Hopefully to allow Bernie Sanders to overtake Biden for the nomination, but, failing that, at least send Joe limping into the General.
Yes. In a nutshell, I think the Tara Reade allegation is simply more Russian meddling of the same sort that has been going on all along. I think, in some form or another, she is a Russian agent. Maybe there is no spy novel romance going on. Perhaps she's just being paid. But this whole thing stinks of Russia, and Russia's fingerprints are all over it.
But, hey, what do I know? I'm just a fiction author with a good imagination
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saiilorstars · 4 years ago
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Rise Up
Ch.4: A New Firestorm
Previous Story: It Had To Be You || Current Masterlist
Pairings: Barry Allen x Female OC
Chapter Summary: The Snarts have made their way back to STAR Labs only this time they're in need of help.
Pronunciation of OC: Bell-en. The last syllable has an emphasis so it’s not pronounced like ‘Helen’ would be.
Taglist: @ocfairygodmother @anotherunreadblog​ @maaaaarveeeeel​
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Despite the team's best efforts, professor Stein was still under heavy health risks.
"Hold him steady!" Cisco shouted at Caitlin and Barry who were frantically trying to keep Stein's convulsing body still enough for Cisco to come in with a device similar to the Firestorm splicer. It was just hard to do when Stein kept spontaneously blowing blue flames.
"He's dropping out!" Caitlin anxiously said.
Cisco had managed to get in and put the splicer on Stein's chest, but his fingers fumbled trying to get it activated. "Come on, come on, come on, come on!"
"Cisco, we're losing him!"
But just then Cisco heard the splicer make a 'click!' and pulled back with a heavy sigh of relief. "Oh, Díos mío. Thank God."
"He's getting worse," Barry sighed and stared at the now unconscious Stein. It had been a cycle like this all night and they still had no real ideas on how to stabilize him permanently.
"Look, I did what I could to re-engineer Doctor Wells' original stabilizer to quell the reaction, but I don't know what he used as a power source," Cisco started out the side room. "Best I could find was the one from his wheelchair."
"And how long will that last?" Caitlin wondered as she and Barry followed him out.
"Well, that's the problem, we had already used up most of its energy trying to dampen the metas' powers during our little rogue air trip with Weather Wizard and company. I think we got a few days tops."
"And he's stuck in bed?"
"Yeah, when he wakes up, I'm gonna transfer the stabilizer to this, give him a power cane, get him moving," Cisco moved over to a table to pick up another silver device.
Barry knew that was only a temporary situation and sooner or later Stein would be in trouble yet again. "We gotta figure out a way to save him."
"I think I might know how to do that," Caitlin decided to share her spontaneous idea with them. She headed for the main desk and pulled up Stein's profile up on one of the computers across them. "When the Particle Accelerator exploded, the dark matter that collided with Professor Stein fused with the Firestorm matrix and altered the normal molecular processes that occurs within his body. Those highly reactive molecules needed something to bond with in order to stabilize. But now that Ronnie is no longer a part of Professor Stein-"
"Those molecules don't have anything to bond to," Barry realized the problem.
"And the longer he goes without merging, the more unstable he becomes."
"Ugh," Cisco foresaw a much bigger problem of finding Stein a new replacement. "All right, so, what do we do?"
"We find another... participant."
Cisco shot Caitlin a sarcastic look. "Okay, cool, so, how do we do that? Are we just gonna make a Tinder app for potential meta-humans? 'Cause I'm pretty sure merging with Stein and randomly bursting into flames sounds like the biggest "swipe left" of all time."
Barry disapproved of Cisco's lack of seriousness but did have to agree that it wouldn't such an easy thing finding someone willing to become Firestorm. "I mean, even if we could find someone willing, Stein can't just merge with whoever he wants."
"No he can't, but I have done some research, and found two potential candidates that might be compatible with him," Caitlin typed on the computer to bring up two young men's profiles. "They both were affected by the dark matter, and they were both admitted to the hospital showing symptoms of gene rearrangement mutation. And they both share the same blood type as Professor Stein and Ronnie."
"All right. I mean, this is more than organ donation," Barry felt the need to remind her. "We'll need more than tissue typing to see if their bodies are compatible."
"If I can isolate the genetic locus of the two candidates and cross-reference it with the mutations in Professor Stein, I might be able to find a match and save his life."
"What do you need to do that?"
Caitlin formed an apologetic smile, indicating she would definitely be requiring his speedy abilities.
~ 0 ~
Belén was uncomfortable. She didn't need to say it: her body outright showed it. From the way she awkwardly sat on the metal chair, to the way her hand reached for the prison phone...everything screamed "I don't know what to do here".
Luckily, Maritza had assumed the reason her sister came to visit. "I'm glad that you and Mom are salvaging the only family relationship left in this...wonky family of ours. I know that with time you'll be close, like it should've been from the start."
Belén gave a low sigh of doubt. As much as she wanted that closeness with her mother, she was aware that it wouldn't happen overnight and that it certainly wouldn't be easy. She told Maritza that and added her biggest fear: "I can't even be completely honest with her."
Maritza knew she was talking about Belén's double life as a metahuman. "Maybe it's better that she doesn't know."
Belén shrugged and looked to the side in thought. "Despite everything that's happened between us Maritza...I just want to say..." There was a clear struggle for her to say it out loud but she knew Maritza did deserve it this time. "...thank you."
Maritza blinked in surprise since she hadn't been expecting that. In fact, she hadn't been expecting any form of gratitude from Belén anytime soon - maybe not even in this lifetime after what she did. "Belén..."
"You did a lot of bad things Maritza but this was something nice..." Belén drew in a breath, "So...thanks. It's better to be friends with my mother than enemies. At least this way I get to see Axel and...he's good. Better, now, actually, since he's living with his grandmother now."
"I'm happy to hear that you're doing better now," Maritza offered a smile that Belén couldn't return. "I saw one of the newspapers with your article in it."
Belén blinked and stared at her sister with curiosity. Her article about the Azalea being alive had finally been published and was so far doing well with the public's response. They were eager and hopeful that their beloved Azalea was still alive. Belén just never expected for her sister to be one of the readers. "You read my articles?"
Maritza smiled again. "Of course I do. You're a hell of a writer and the fact you're making a comeback to the city is amazing. I'm glad that you're doing better, Belén. You deserve that. You deserve...everything."
And just like before coming, Belén didn't know what to do.
~ 0 ~
Barry intended on getting back to STAR Labs as quick as possible after he finished a bit of work at the station. If he continued to make unscheduled leaves then someone would definitely start to notice and that would be the last thing he needed at the moment. He hurried down the stairs with a needed case file in his hands, and in his rush to get to Joe, he bumped into a tall woman who then dropped her purse.
"I-I am so sorry!" Barry went to pick up the purse off the floor. When he looked up to see the woman he was met with familiar-looking brown eyes.
"That's fine," Veronica Green took back her purse with a polite smile. "I wasn't looking where I was going either." In his surprise, Barry couldn't say anything. Veronica tilted her head to examine the young man. "I know you, don't I? I've seen you…"
"Th-the...funeral," Barry stuttered to explain and seeing Veronica's confused gaze he shook his head and began anew. "I'm Barry Allen-" he stuck a hand to shake with hers.
"Oh, right," Veronica shook his hand politely. "You were my daughter's boyfriend."
"Well, not 'was'...am…" Barry watched her awkwardly process that news and wondered if the woman was about to hate him or mildly tolerate him. She didn't appear too friendly at the moment.
"Oh," was all that came out from Veronica's lips.
She hates me, Barry concluded.
"Barry? Hey!" he then heard Patty call for him and thanked every God he knew of for the distraction. It was incredibly awkward - even for his usual.
Patty came rushing up to him and Veronica, smiling widely. "You'll never guess what I found." But before Barry could even begin to guess she held up a plastic bag of teeth.
"Are those...teeth?" Barry made a face.
"Shark teeth," Patty excitedly corrected. "And I have an eyewitness that says he saw a shark walking on land-a man-shark."
"Man-shark?" this time Veronica had spoken up, letting Patty realize she had yet to know who the other woman was. "This city has man-sharks?" Veronica looked at Barry like he had the answers.
"I'm sorry, who are you?" Patty inquired.
"Veronica Green," Veronica reached to shake Patty's hand. "I'm transferring from Star City."
"Oh, nice," Patty smiled as she shook the woman's hand. "Patty Spivot. I just started working here too."
"Right, I know. And I'm assuming you're working on...what are they called again? Metahumans?" Veronica's face said it all. It was an absolutely not. The things she was doing for her daughter she could not believe.
"Well…" Patty said after Veronica took an abrupt leave, "...she seems like a cheery one."
"That's actually Belén's mother," Barry watched Veronica head for Singh's office.
"Oh my God," Patty put a hand over her mouth.
"Don't worry, I think Belén knows that too."
Patty glanced at him, surprised by his statement.
Barry winced. "Don't...tell her I said that, actually."
"Only if you don't tell her what I said."
"Deal."
The two smiled at each other.
"So, um...do you think that's actually real?" Barry one again looked at the bag of teeth. He had heard and seen of all sorts of metahumans but a shark that walked on land seemed just a bit too much.
"Yeah, I mean, I know it sounds really wacko...but, I mean, nothing seems impossible now that we have meta-humans, right? And I thought it would be fun, you know, for us to work together again on a case."
"Yeah, I mean, I really- I'd love to work on anything with you. Um, it's just, you know, meta-humans aren't really my thing," Barry tried looking as convincing as ever. He didn't want Patty looking too much into the metahuman criminals lest she be kidnapped again.
"Really? I mean...I can handle it myself…"
Then again, if she was going to keep looking into it herself, alone, Barry would rather have an eye on her upclose. "No, you-look, how about I just- I'll run a test, see where the teeth came from."
Patty beamed. "That would be amazing! Thank you!" she handed the bag over to him.
Joe walked out of the office room and saw the bag of shark teeth. "How's your man-shark case coming?" he looked at Patty, amused.
"It's good. I was just gonna go and canvas the area, see what else I can dig up, and Barry here agreed to run some tests for me."
"Really?" Joe raised an eyebrow and looked over to Barry.
"Mm-hmm. So, progress," Patty beamed and said another 'thanks' to Barry before leaving herself.
"For real?" Joe inquired from Barry, eyes trained on the bag of teeth.
"If it's another meta I'd rather know first and lead Patty away from it before something like Sand Demon happens again," Barry explained.
"Mm," Joe walked over to the reception desk to leave behind some papers and then started back for his office.
"Uh, so did you hear we have a new co-worker?" Barry followed after him and glanced at Singh's office where he could see Veronica having an idle chat with him.
Joe followed his gaze to the office and nodded. "Wasn't expecting that from one phone call, I'll tell you that."
"Yeah I don't think she likes me very much…" Barry let his file flop on Joe's desk.
Joe started to laugh. "What parent likes their daughter's boyfriend?"
"Thanks," Barry said with a straight face. To his dismay, Joe only continued to laugh more. He felt his phone vibrating in his pocket and pulled it up to see who it was. "Hey, you know what, I gotta go. It's Cisco. It's about Professor Stein."
"Okay, go, I'll cover you with Singh," Joe shooed him off and just as Barry turned to leave he heard the man laugh again.
It was not funny.
~ 0 ~
In the cortex, Stein tried out his new makeshift silver cane that was meant to keep him stabilized in the meantime they found a possible firestorm partner. "Well, I must admit, I never imagined the Sphinx's riddle about a man requiring three legs would ever apply to me, but if this device keeps me mobile, then I will gratefully oblige."
Caitlin smiled at the man as he took a small trip in the cortex to test out the cane. "Hopefully, you won't need it for much longer," she gestured to the two profiles of the candidates that could possibly (and hopefully) work to save him. "There was no agglutination in the blood samples, and cross-matching was negative for both, and it appears that the dark matter from the Particle Accelerator explosion mutated their genes in a very similar way it did to yours. I think they're both potential matches."
"So who do we go with?" Belén looked at the two men on the computer screen. She could see one was far younger than the other but as far as she could tell they both matched Stein. "Do we pull popsicle sticks or…?"
Caitlin chuckled and shook her head. "My first choice is Henry Hewitt. He graduated summa cum laude from Hudson University with a double major in Applied Physics and Bioengineering."
"A Hudson boy," Stein said thoughtfully. "I like him already."
"What about this other guy, Jefferson Jackson?" Barry moved up to the computer to take a closer look. "High school quarterback, 4.0 student. He's got the physical attributes. And it looks like more of his alleles match than Hewitt's. Doesn't that mean that he's more compatible?"
Caitlin reluctantly agreed but it was easy to see that she really did prefer Henry. "On paper, perhaps, but Hewitt is a scientist. Clearly, he's trying to make something of his life."
"That's a bit mean to say," Belén sarcastically glanced at Caitlin as if she were scolding the brunette.
"I'm just...I think he'd be open to something like this," Caitlin raised her hands in defense.
"I think we should meet with both of them before we make a decision," Cisco muttered, thinking both candidates would probably have to think about it really hard before being able to come up with a decision.
"That's an excellent idea," Stein agreed.
"I'll see if I can get Hewitt here," Caitlin said fast.
"All right, in the meantime, we'll go meet with Jefferson Jackson," Barry turned back, looking at Belén and Stein for agreement.
"I have to go pick up Axel and bring him to Mrs. Andrews," Belén patted him on the arm.
"Hey, that reminds me," Barry walked up to her while the others dispersed to do their tasks, "I met your mother today at the station."
"Oh yeah," Belén smiled. "She said she started on that transfer thing."
"Um...yeah, it's just…" Barry hated to be the one to tell her because she really did look happy about it, "...I kinda got the feeling she wasn't very happy that we were back together again."
Belén's smile faded a bit as she considered the idea that perhaps never telling her mother they were alright now could've had a bigger influence than she thought. "Oh, oh I'm sorry Barry. You know, that's probably my fault. Last time she heard you were the jerk that broke up with me."
But Barry wanted to say that he felt it was a bit more than just that. There was something about the way Veronica had looked at him earlier that...sort of said she couldn't believe her daughter had chosen him.
"Barry, do not worry," Belén assured him it would be fine. She set her hands on his arms and looked so sure of herself, it made Barry dread the outcome if things didn't go her way. "My Mom's a grumpy woman but she's going to try and make things work with me. Once she gets to know you - and knows how happy you make me - she'll warm up to you."
"You think?" Barry raised an eyebrow at her.
"Absolutely," Belén chuckled and leaned in to kiss him. "It'll be fine."
"Okay," Barry relented very quietly. He didn't realize how much it would bother him if Veronica ended up truly not liking him. There was something he'd been meaning to tell Belén but so far was unable to find a suitable moment and place.
Belén mistook his silence as more worry and laughed. She repeated that it would all be fine, gave him a last kiss before truly leaving. On her way out, she missed their newest E-2 visitor lurking behind.
~ 0 ~
Axel bounced on his feet while he waited for his aunt Belén to buy him that ice cream from the ice cream truck. It was his reward for getting a sticker at school that indicated he'd attempted to write his name unlike other students.
"But you know that you won't get a reward every time, right?" Belén asked after giving Axel his Bugs Bunny popsicle. "I'm happy that you're putting an effort but you don't get a reward every time."
"Mhm!" Axel practically waved her off while he licked his popsicle.
Belén playfully rolled her eyes and ushered him towards the car. While she was putting Axel into the backseat, she could've sworn she felt burning eyes on her back. She hurriedly finished adjusting Axel's seat belt then closed the car door. As she moved for the driver's seat she made a diligent look around for anything strange but as far as she could see there were only students being picked up.
Get it together Belén, she berated herself and opened the driver's door.
She missed the brunette women across the street peering behind another ice cream truck. A dark smile spread across her face as she watched Belén drive off. "Gotcha."
~ 0 ~
When Belén returned to STAR Labs, she found Caitlin in a side room excitedly conversing with one of the chosen candidates for Firestorm. Cisco was sitting at the desk with a grim face at the two.
"What's going on?" Belén dropped in the chair next to him.
"Caitlin got Henry Hewitt to come," Cisco said but sounded nowhere near happy about it.
"What's wrong with him?" Belén asked quick, garnering a confused look from Cisco. "I know you hate him. It's in your voice, stupid."
Cisco smiled and shook his head. Before he got to explaining his reason of dislike for Henry, Barry and professor Stein walked into the room. Seeing them from the side room, Caitlin brought out Henry to meet them.
"Caitlin, what's going on?" Barry frowned at the sight of the man in the room.
Caitlin seemed happier than ever. "I'm glad you're back. This is Dr. Henry Hewitt. This is Barry Allen, Professor Martin Stein and Belén Palayta."
Stein shook hands with Henry. "How do you do?"
Henry seemed in awe. "The illustrious Martin Stein. I've read all your papers back at Hudson, especially on transmutation. Fascinating. You're a legend."
"Kiss-ass," Belén mumbled under her breath but she soon realized it wasn't as quiet as she thought because Cisco had snickered beside her. Even Barry had let a smile slip.
Stein laughed shyly at the praises. "Oh, please. I think you're overestimating my contribution to the field. I-I appreciate your enthusiasm."
Caitlin happily walked to the other three. "Isn't he great?"
"He's got an ego the size of Texas-" Cisco muttered, "-but, yeah, he's alright."
Caitlin rolled her eyes at him. "So, where's Jefferson Jackson?"
"We just need more time," Barry sighed. It turned out the younger candidate was more stubborn than they thought.
"We don't have more time. I couldn't find another power source for the cane and that thing's running out." Cisco didn't really like Henry that much but Stein was running out of time.
"So then...that's it?" Belén asked. "We convince Henry to do it?"
Caitlin smiled. "Oh he's already agreed. We can do the merge right now."
"What do you mean? You told him the details of the Firestorm Matrix?" Barry gave her an incredulous look.
"Absolutely, becoming Firestorm is a huge life change. He needs to know what he's getting himself into."
They were then taken when the two scientists chanted their apparent school's theme.
"Aw, look at that, that's so cute," Cisco sarcastically rose from his chair, smiling impossibly wide. "We'll have two Professor Steins if this works."
Belén laughed. "I don't think anyone could be professor Stein. There can only be one softie scientist here."
Being settled, they gathered up the potential new Firestorm and Cisco stood in front of Henry holding the splicer in his hands, giving Henry a final instruction.
"When I put this splicer on your chest you're gonna feel a rush. That's a molecular primer being released into your body. Then you can make physical contact with Professor Stein, and Firestorm Matrix will take over."
"Easy enough," Henry nodded, but the manner in which he said those words gave the impression he thought it was simple math terms.
"Ready?" Cisco asked both men this time.
"No time like the present," Stein held his cane for Caitlin to take. "Thank you, my dear."
"Okay," Cisco put the splicer on Henry's chest. The device immediately whirred to life as it sprouted three metal bars across Henry's chest.
Both Henry and Stein turned to face each other, their hands reaching to make contact with the other. Their tips flamed on before dying out, leaving the two very much separated.
"Try again," Caitlin encouraged them after a moment of confusion.
They reached out to merge again but not even flames had appeared that time. It appeared that it was not going to work.
"This is unexpected…" Stein pulled his hand back.
"Something's supposed to be happening, right?" Henry shot the others an irritated look. "Why isn't it working?"
Belén didn't like the attitude displayed towards them like it was their fault. "Genius if we knew we wouldn't be having this problem."
Cisco stepped towards the two men to take off the splicer from Henry. "Uh, well, looks like you two aren't compatible after all."
"So all this was for nothing?" Henry now openly snared.
"Believe me, no one is more disappointed than I am," Stein despondently sighed, but Henry flatout ignored the implications of the failure.
"Yeah, don't be so sure about that. Next time, try to get your act together before you get someone's hopes up." Henry stormed out of the cortex.
The group didn't know how to react after that setback. Stein would have to continue muffling through for the moment.
"So, what happens now?" Belén dreaded to ask. She and Barry walked down the street leading up to her house. "If Henry Hewitt can't merge…"
"We have to hope that Jefferson Jackson comes through," Barry said, shrugging his shoulders.
"You met him with professor Stein today, right? Did he look interested?"
"Uum…" Barry made a face that said it all.
"Well, I guess we'll just have to wait and see what happens tomorrow," Belén hoped this other candidate would turn out to be better than Hewitt. They walked up to Belén's front porch staircase.
"Is there anyone home?" Barry looked at the dark windows of her house. Belén told him earlier in the day her mother would be staying at a hotel in the meantime they made good on the house deed.
"No, it'll just be me and Axel," Belén moved up to the door to unlock it. "I need to start packing, actually. I'm leaving Axel with Mrs. Andrews for the rest of the day so I can get a head start."
"But you're staying alone in the night?" Barry's tone indicated his outright refusal.
"Relax," Belén rolled her eyes and opened the door, "I doubt Zoom or Datura make house visits."
"I...Bells, do we really want to push that luck? Would it kill you to just stay with Caitlin some more time?"
"No offence to Caitlin, but what exactly makes it more safe at her place than here?" Belén smiled as Barry fumbled over an answer. "It's not like Caitlin has powers. Buuuuut…" she pretended innocence, "...you know, I wouldn't be opposed to some help with packing. Without the speed."
"Oh c'mon," Barry complained but was already coming in after her. Belén giggled while he began making his case on why he should very much be allowed to use said speed.
~0~
The next day, the group was more than happy to see Jefferson Jackson deciding to meet with them. The young man was fascinated by all the scientific machinery set around and had to take a moment to really get the jist of the place.
"I thought S.T.A.R. Labs had to shut down," he remarked after a while.
"You can say it's under new management," Belén innocently waved a hand from her spot at the desk. She figured he looked more or less the same way she did when she first stepped foot in the room a year ago.
"Cool. So, let's get started," Jax clapped his hands. "You got some kind of "Billion Dollar Man" technology that gonna fix my knee?"
Barry realized the other man was under the ruse they would be bringing him back to his regular self. "Actually, Jax, this isn't about fixing your knee."
"What are you talking about?"
"When the Particle Accelerator exploded, the energy wave that collided with you is known as dark matter," Caitlin began explaining.
"And it didn't just hurt your knee," Stein finished for her. "It-it changed the molecular structure of your body."
Jax raised an eyebrow at him. "Whoa, hold on, Grey. So you're saying I'm like one of those meta-humans I keep hearing about on the news?"
Stein was not amused by the little nickname the man had branded him with. "Yes, I am. Please, call me Professor."
"We think you have potential capabilities," Cisco tried to explain next, assuming they were freaking Jax out.
"What kind of capabilities?"
"The same as Professor Stein: the ability for your body to process fission and fusion," Caitlin answered.
Cisco raised the splicer device for Jax to see. "And you can harness excess energy and turn it into these massive nuclear blasts."
"And, if it helps, you can fly," Belén added whimsically, adding a moment later in a low voice, "Wish I could fly."
Jax was bewildered and glanced at Stein sitting on a chair, looking far too, well, old to do all those powers. "So you're saying you can do all this?"
"Only during times of convergence with a willing partner.
"Convergence?" Jax concluded what they needed from him and laughed. "You and me? No, this is crazy."
"No, Jax, this is your chance to right the wrong that was done to you," Caitlin frowned at his careless reaction.
"Yeah, sorry, you got the wrong guy," Jax made a signal he was going to leave. "I don't want nothing to do with this."
Caitlin wasn't going to give up and cut him off. "Wait a second, we are giving you the chance to be a superhero, and you're gonna say no that quickly?"
"Yeah, not my kind of thing," Jax said.
Stein began pushing himself upwards from his chair "If the man isn't willing to participate-"
"Look, I saw your test scores, Jax. Your grades were good enough to get into college, but you didn't go," Caitlin continued on, sounding angrier. "Why? Is this the type of guy you are? One setback and you fold? Well, then maybe you're not the guy for us anyway."
"Caitlin-" Belén meant to stop her but the damage was done.
"Well, maybe I'm not," Jax sourly agreed and stormed out.
"Maybe this just wasn't meant to be," Stein exceptionally walked out as well.
"Caitlin you shouldn't have done that," Belén got up her chair, earning a very sharp look from the brunette in return.
"He said no to being a superhero. Who does that?" Caitlin angrily looked at the others for back up. "I mean, you didn't say no when you had the chance. Cisco, would you?"
Cisco battled through a nervous laugh. "Chance to have superpowers? Sign me up."
"Look, we're asking Jax to change his entire life, to sacrifice what he does have," Barry tried simplifying it for Caitlin, because he thought she'd been a bit hard on Jax too. "I mean, that's not a decision that can be made lightly. It took me a long time to figure out this whole hero thing."
Caitlin still didn't understand. "Exactly, which is why we need someone who wants to do this."
"Where are you going?" Belén watched the woman begin to leave.
"To get Hewitt back. We have to try again," Caitlin said loudly and stormed away.
~0~
Later that day, Barry called in Patty to give her the results of her "shark teeth". As soon as Patty heard the results, she projected grave disappointment.
"Human DNA?" she looked up from the results.
"Yup, definitely not a man-shark. Not even a land shark, Ma'am," Barry laughed but Patty seemed pretty upset.
"Well, thanks for testing it for me," Patty sighed and turned to leave.
"What are you gonna do now?"
Patty stopped and thought for a moment. "I don't know, probably file it under "never gonna happen." I have another case anyway."
"Oh, anything I can help you with?"
"No, no, no, no, Detective said definitely n-not," Patty knew she was being a horrible liar but in her defence she warned Joe she couldn't keep secrets very well. And keeping the newest case that involved apparently the deceased Harrison Wells was a big one.
Barry immediately recognized her off look and worried. "Is everything okay?"
Patty did not make things better by laughing so nervously. "Sure, why?"
"I don't know, you're just acting kind of different…"
"No! No. I'm the same old P. Spivot, you know?" Patty inwardly smacked herself for being so obvious. She needed to leave fast. "I have to go, but thank you so much for testing this, and I'll see you."
Barry couldn't even get an "okay" out when the woman had already rushed out. He decided he would go to Joe himself for some answers. Why wouldn't Joe want him working on a case with them? It wasn't like him.
As Barry was coming down the stairs, he caught sight of Veronica coming out of the main office. Thinking of their oh-so-grand meeting the previous day, Barry thought he would try it again with some better results. He knew Belén was right in that Veronica didn't know him and perhaps they just needed time but it did bother him that this woman decided - out of the blue - that she wouldn't like him.
"Ms. Green?" he called to the woman engrossed with a file in her hands. Soon as she looked up Barry could see her eyes narrow a bit. "Everything...okay?" That was a stupid question but Barry couldn't think of another way to start.
"Of course. I just finished with papers for my transfer. I start this Monday," Veronica informed.
"That's great! I guess we'll be seeing each other more often then," Barry smiled but Veronica just stared.
"Yes…" Veronica didn't have to openly say that she wasn't as thrilled as one would think.
Barry saw that and inwardly sighed. "Ms. Green, I just want to say that I'm very happy you and Bells are working on a new relationship."
"Bells?" Veronica repeated her daughter's nickname with distaste.
"U-uh, sorry, Belén. That's just...what we call her sometimes…" Barry said slowly, seeing no such progress. Veronica still did not lighten up. "Anyways, I just…" he sighed, deciding to simply be honest with how he felt and see what happened from there, "...Belén has suffered a lot, I've seen it, and I think she could really use her mother. She deserves that."
"Yes, well, she deserves more doesn't she?" Veronica openly said instead, jabbing him with her double meaning. Her knowing smile on him didn't make Barry feel any better.
~ 0 ~
"She said that?" Cisco gaped after hearing Barry's story - which was admittedly funny in some point. The two were in the cortex, watching over Axel while Belén went for some coffee in the kitchen of the building. "Duuuude…" Cisco began to chuckle, much to Barry's offence
"Why does everyone think it's so funny?" he frowned. First Joe, and now Cisco? Next thing he knew Iris would burst out laughing next.
"I mean, it would happen to you," Cisco walked over to the desk where Axel sat. He glanced at the boy who was busy attempting to write his name on paper, oblivious to their talk.
"Thanks," Barry frowned. "I get that not everyone is gonna like me but...this precise woman happens to be Belén's mother. She has to like me."
Cisco smirked as he plopped down on a chair next to Axel. "Right."
"I mean, Bells won over my Dad so quick…" Barry began to pace in front of the desk.
"Well, Belén is adorable, so…" Cisco trailed off when Barry glared for his lack of seriousness. "Alright, no time for jokes, then."
"No," Barry shook his head and came to a stop. He put his hands on the edge of the desk and sighed. "I can...see a future with Belén, I really can, and in that future...I don't see this," he gestured to the situation.
Cisco raised his eyebrows, able to barely to hold his teasing smile back. "Belén Allen?"
"Hey!" Belén had walked in, eyes wide and on Cisco. "I don't know what you were talking about but I know 'shut up' fits perfectly."
Cisco found it even more difficult not to tease. Belén placed down a mug of coffee for Cisco on the desk, handed Barry his own then took her own.
"So, dare I ask what we were discussing?" she made eyes at Barry who was busy trying not to be as red as possible.
"Auntie Belén! Look at my name!" Axel waved his paper in the air, nearly smacking Cisco on the face a couple times.
"Let me see that before you paper cut this beautiful face of mine," Cisco took the paper from the boy and looked down at the squiggly-lined name. "Well, for a four year old, it's not that bad."
"It's my homework," Axel said proudly.
"Great job, Axel," Belén mused after seeing the paper. "Least your name isn't Annah-Belén with a hyphen and everything," she shook her head and shot Barry a look. "You and I know about long names, don't we Bartholomew?"
The speedster silently glowered.
"You guys," Caitlin came rushing into the room seeming very concerned.
"What's wrong?" asked Barry, but Caitlin came directly for the computers. She said nothing as she typed and pulled up a page on the one of the computers up on the wall.
It was a news-reporter in the middle of a newscast, the byline underneath reading something about questioning a Henry Hewitt.
"What's…?" Belén blinked at the screen.
"There was a scene at Mercury Labs where apparently Hewitt showed some sort of metahuman abilities," Caitlin explained, sighing deeply. "He nearly hurt one of his bosses and the witness said he was unusually aggressive."
"But...he has powers now?" Belén looked at the others for some help understanding that.
"Hewitt's dormant abilities must have been triggered when we attempted the merger," Barry realized.
"And that could be catastrophic," Caitlin crossed her arms. "If his powers are anything like professor Stein's then he requires a grounding mechanism to stabilize his volatility."
"Yeah, he's gonna pop his top," Cisco scoffed, wondering if he hadn't done it on his own already. The man seemed to carry a temper with him anyways. "And considering he's got a long history of violence - according to his police record - we probably don't have much time."
"Police record?" Barry threw a look over to Caitlin.
"I didn't find a police record," the brunette said defensibly.
Cisco scoffed. "Yeah, of course not, it was sealed, but guess what, ya boy hacked in and-" he started on the computer, "-hold on, wait for it."
"Yowzah," Belén's eyes roamed the heavy police record Cisco pulled up for them.
"One count battery, two counts aggravated assault, court-ordered anger management therapy," Cisco listed.
"He seemed like such a nice guy," Caitlin said dejectedly.
"Looks are deceiving," Belén remarked.
"Professor Stein is getting worse. And Hewitt's like this because of me. And now Jefferson Jackson will never come back because of what I said," Caitlin felt completely guilty for the mess she thought she was responsible for. "I just didn't believe that he has what it takes."
"This isn't because you didn't believe in him," Barry made her stop for a moment. "Sometimes, great possibilities are right in front of us, and we don't see them, because we choose not to. I think that we need to be open to exploring something new."
Caitlin valued his words, she did, and nodded her head. "I'm gonna go fix it," she mumbled and turned to leave.
"We have to keep an eye on professor Stein," Cisco got up from his chair. "Time is running out."
"Yeah," Belén moved over for Axel. "We'll be back later, then. I promised my mother I would show her my new place. Which reminds me…" she started smiling at Barry, with purpose, "...I know I said no speed for moving out, but...considering I'm a bit behind…"
"I got it," Barry nodded, promising her. "I'll go in later tonight, don't worry."
"Thank you," Belén ushered Axel off his chair and the two walked off.
"So...we're just not gonna tell her that her mothers hates you?" Cisco curiously looked after Belén.
"No," Barry replied instantly. With a warning finger for Cisco to keep quiet as well, he walked out too.
~ 0 ~
As soon as Belén had gotten word from her mother she was waiting for her back in their old home, Belén did her best to get there on time. If there was one thing her mother despised it was tardiness.
"My toys!?" Axel gasped the moment he saw various boxes already piling up around the living room. "Auntie Belén, are my toys in there!?"
"Don't worry Axel, your things are in your room," Belén assured as she closed the door. "Mom?" she called, leaving her purse on a stand by table.
Veronica walked out from the kitchen with a glass of water in her hand. Axel was delighted to see his grandmother and ran forwards to hug her. "Grandma, wanna play with my toys with me?" he asked excitedly.
"Not right now, sweetheart," Veronica smiled at him, speaking a soft voice. Belén honestly couldn't see that version of her mother as, well..her mother. It was always arguments and bickering with the others.
"Aaaw," Axel pulled back and turned away.
"Axel, go on out to the backyard for a moment," Belén instructed the child.
"Okay!"
"But stay away from Aunt Belén's flowers, alright?"
"Yes!" Axel promised and rushed for the back door.
"So you've been packing…" Veronica lowered her glass to observe the room. "I checked upstairs and...you're almost completely packed too."
"Yeah," Belén shrugged. "I want to get out of here as fast as possible."
"You know I'm not kicking you out-"
"No, yeah, I know that," Belén promised her. "I just…" her eyes began to look around the familiar living room, "...don't like being here anymore. There's too many bad things, memories...I can't continue living here if I want to function normally."
"You're almost set then," Veronica gestured to the packing boxes behind them. "I'm surprised you packed so fast."
"I had help from Barry, Mom," Belén rolled her eyes.
"Oh," Veronica could not help the face expression that settled.
Belén saw it too and frowned. "Oh c'mon, are you actually not liking him? Barry mentioned it but I just thought he was being dramatic."
"He told you that?" it appeared Veronica was offended and yet, upset that apparently Barry had disclosed this information.
"Well gee, Mom, considering I'm his girlfriend and he just met my Mom who created such a negative image of him...yeah, he did mention it because he was upset."
Veronica made a small noise and shook her head. She brought her glass to her lips and drank.
"Can I just ask what is the problem?" Belén sighed, so completely done with arguments between them. "You know nothing of me, and then you have the audacity to hate my boyfriend whom you've never even properly met."
"The last time I heard he broke up with you in a very harsh way," Veronica tilted her glass, pretending to be interested in the swirling water. "And that left you so bad you decided to go to a psychologist."
"Hey-" Belén struck a sharp finger at her mother, "-that was because of Maritza, Axel, Rayan, and the frikin black-hole that appeared in the sky as well! I decided to go to Dr. Baeva for me. I decided I wanted to feel better, to be better so I went for professional help."
"Belén-"
"No, Mom, you're being unfair," Belén said softly. "I bet grandma and grandpa were against at least one of your boyfriends when you were my age. And how about Nona Enger? Remember how that feels?"
Veronica's lips twitched into a smile. "Your father's mother was an outright..." she definitely wouldn't finish that sentence out loud.
"Can't you at least give him a chance?" Belén asked. "One dinner - that's all I'm asking. You can get to know Barry and see that he's really sweet and...and dorky, I'm not gonna lie," she smiled. "But overall he is someone that I can truly think about having a future with."
Veronica's attention was drawn most by the last statement. "That much, huh?" she asked with eyebrows raised.
Belén nodded. "Yes."
Veronica gave a small nod as she thought about the deal proposed. "Okay-" Belén's eyes widened, "-I accept. One dinner-" she raised a finger, "-this weekend."
The biggest smile spread across Belén's face. "Oh my God, thank you!" she rushed up to Veronica and surprised her with a large hug.
Belén rarely hugged her.
~ 0 ~
By the time Belén returned to STAR Labs, much had happened. But it was to her delight to learn that Jax had come through and merged successfully with professor Stein, creating a new Firestorm. Unfortunately, she also learned that Henry Hewitt was up and about again attacking people. Barry and the new Firestorm had gone out to stop him.
"You sure Jax can handle this?" Belén anxiously stood behind Caitlin and Cisco at the desk. "He did just get his powers…"
"He has this," Caitlin assured with a new sense of faith in Jax.
"Plus, he has professor Stein in his head," Cisco added with a wag of his finger.
Belén agreed it was true but it still didn't diminish all her concerns.
"Hey, guys, cutting the power didn't work," Barry's voice came through the speakers. "It's like the more we anger him, the stronger he gets."
"Powers based on emotions? Hm," Belén pretended to think for a moment, "Now where have I seen that before."
"That's it," Caitlin realized. "The more powerful he becomes, the more unstable they become. Barry, make him angry, and he'll blow his fuse."
"Are you saying that I'm unstable?" Belén shot the brunette a look.
Caitlin made an apologetic face.
"Don't worry, we'll get her back when you can go full-on Azalea again," Cisco nudged Belén on the side. "Imagine what new sides you can unlock."
When all was said and done, Henry Hewitt was brought back to STAR Labs and placed in the pipeline where he would not be able to tell a soul of what he learned in the recent week. It appeared like his powers had diminished with his last fight. Now as the new firestorm prepared to leave to begin training again, the group went on to say their goodbyes.
"Why Are we going to Pittsburgh again?" asked Jax after hearing Stein mention it to Joe.
"A colleague of mine was monumental in helping train Ronald and me. She's graciously offered to help the two of us as well."
"How's she gonna help us?"
"Well, there were many aspects of our abilities that we never quite achieved. Hopefully now, we can fully realize that potential." Stein said hopefully and turned to say goodbye to Caitlin. "Oh, my dearest Dr. Snow. Ronald may be lost to us, but he will never be forgotten."
Caitlin hugged him goodbye.
"Okay but when you start flying...take a picture dammit," Belén told Jax, making him laugh. "I mean it. That view would be phenomenal."
"I think they'd have more to do, Bells," Barry came by for her.
"I was just saying...you know, if you got a chance," Belén casually waved her hand on her side.
Cisco approached them with the splicer in hand, excitedly apparently. "I went ahead and recalibrated the splicer so the merging should be even smoother now."
"Are you ready, Jefferson?" Stein asked the younger man. With a nod, Jax moved over so that the two would merge better.
"All right," Jax said after merging, still sounding surprised of his new ability. He erupted in flames and flew up into the sky.
"I really want that picture," Belén mumbled under her breath.
"Yeah c'mon," Barry tugged her by the hand. "You want to get lunch?"
"Mhm! So I can tell you the big news I have," Belén excitedly revealed.
"Interesting," Barry hummed in thought. He said a goodbye to the others and took off with Belén for Jitters.
"So, I talked to my Mom," Belén began as soon as they entered the place.
"You did…?" Barry made a face behind her.
"Yes, and I don't want you to freak out or anything but...she doesn't exactly favor you."
"No?" Barry feigned perfect surprise. "I wasn't dreaming?"
Belén sighed. "Nope. But I got her to give you a chance. You think you can do dinner with her and me this weekend?" there was a heavy alarm in Barry's face that questioned the sanity of the plan. Belén clapped her hands together, ready to plead. "I promise it will be just fine. You just have...to be yourself."
"I don't mean to be rude but I think 'being myself' is what got me into this situation in the first place," Barry released a breath he'd been holding in.
"She doesn't know you," Belén persisted. "She knows a part of you that...that wasn't you. Please say you'll do it? Pretty please?"
"Oh, sure, use that face on me, how can I refuse?" Barry sarcastically said.
"So...you'll come then?"
"Yes, of course I will," Barry nodded. "But you have to do one thing in return."
"What is it?"
"Don't leave me alone with her," Barry pleaded with a shaking voice.
Belén laughed but agreed nonetheless. Throughout the rest of their lunch, which turned out to last much later, Belén started giving Barry helpful tips for when they met with Veronica later that weekend. While Belén was confident that her mother would end up liking Barry she also thought that a little help couldn't hurt either. When they were finished, the two arrived at the CCPD for different reasons. Belén promised Patty they would have that pending coffee night - which switched to a movie night considering Belén had just come back from Jitters. Barry had a bit of work to finish before he could call it a night.
"So, any movie you're interested in seeing?" Belén asked Patty as the two walked out of the station.
"Something actiony?" Patty suggested and Belén just laughed.
"A cop wants to watch an action movie I'm not surprised!"
But the two had barely made it across the street when a loud clash stopped them in their tracks. Green vines had wrapped around trash cans and threw them towards the two women. They lunged in opposite directions to avoid being hit. Soon as Belén looked up she saw a woman in a glimmering green bodysuit and long ginger hair coming for her. There were bits of green plants adorning the corner of her eyes.
"What are you-"
The ginger made a wag of her finger and struck forwards a hand. Belén was hit with a thick vine tendril and blasted back against a street pole, effectively knocking her out.
"Oh my God!" Patty didn't waste a minute and whipped out her gun, taking aim at the ginger who was coming for them. "Put your hands in the air!"
But the ginger smirked and reached a hand out, making Patty begin to shoot. Poison Ivy swiveled with her vines to avoid the bullets successfully. Hearing the bullets, Barry appeared as the Flash to see what the trouble was and came to the horror sight instead.
"Flash," Poison Ivy's lips curled into a delighted smile. "Zoom wants you dead. But for now I'm here to collect for Datura."
"Over my dead body," Barry frowned. He sped Patty and Belén into the station and then returned. Poison Ivy had yet to even blink.
"Don't make me hunt my prey at this hour," Poison Ivy's darkened red lips curled into a sinister smile.
"Why are you hunting her in the first place?" demanded Barry.
"For Datura, of course," Poison Ivy held her hands out, ready to attack when someone blasted her with a high-tech gun. She cringed and fell forwards to reveal a hooded man.
The hooded figure made to leave just as he'd appeared but Barry sped after him. "Who the hell are you?" he grew tired of asking the same questions.
When the hooded man pulled down his hood, Barry wished he would have never asked.
The man turned out to be Harrison Wells.
From afar, the same brunette women who had watched Belén now watched the scene unfold with satisfaction. "Here we go," she glanced in the direction of the precinct with flashing red eyes.
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astheskycries · 5 years ago
Text
Protected- Chapter Six
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When Maggie agreed to help her best friend finish preparing for an art exhibit, she wasn’t expecting to end up in the middle of a rough battle between Captain America and a shooter. She also didn’t expect to be considered a target because he saved her life and to be hunted by HYDRA agents for her involvement. Now her life is in the hands of a perfect soldier… and so is her heart. One Two Three Four Five
Bang bang bang!
I groan a little, burying farther under the covers and squeezing my eyes shut tighter.
Bang bang bang!
“I know you’re in there,” Natasha calls, and I jerk upright and stare at the door nervously. “I need to talk to you.”
I swallow carefully. “Coming,” I call shakily, shoving to my feet and moving towards the door before I lose my nerve. I tug the door open cautiously, and Natasha brushes past me, dropping onto the stool. I nervously close my door, aware of my unmade bed and that I haven’t brushed my hair. “Can I help you?” I ask worriedly.
Her face doesn’t change. “Sit down,” She says calmly, nodding towards the bed.
I carefully lower myself on my bed.
“You and Rogers,” She says bluntly, getting right to the point.
I blink, confused. “What about us?” I ask carefully. If my tone is even slightly off, she could lose her patience and decide not to play nice.
Her eyes change slightly. “Relax. I’m not going to attack you,” She makes a lazy sweep of the room, taking in the plain cell. “Fury should have moved you to a better room.”
I choose not to comment, though I personally agree. “What about us?” I repeat, a little more forcefully.
She meets my eyes. “You two seem awfully close for people who don’t know each other.”
I release a slightly frustrated breath. “I wish people would stop saying that. I don’t know him; he’s the one trying to approach me.”
She raises an eyebrow, thinking about it. “You get nervous around him,”
I wince. “There are motives behind every interaction with me. It’s hard to relax around him knowing that.”
Now she frowns. “There are no orders regarding you at all. We’re just making sure HYDRA is no longer pursuing you.”
I purse my lips. “He wants information from me.”
Natasha rises calmly, and I know she doesn’t want to argue about it. “I’m sorry I woke you. I’m going to talk to Fury about sending you to a different room. Of course, the only one open is on Roger’s temporary floor-”
“I’m fine here,” I say quickly.
She smirks a little. “We don’t know how long you’re going to be here, Maggie. You might as well be comfortable.” I open my mouth to protest, but she’s already gone. I sigh wearily and turn to the bed, starting to make it and letting myself think about what she’s said.
“Are you busy?”
I gasp, jerking around and throwing the pillow that was in my hand at the intruder.
Steve catches it easily, staring at me with slightly wide eyes. “Are you alright?”
I breathe carefully, clearing my throat awkwardly. “Sorry,” I choke out, clearing my throat again. “I didn’t mean to throw something at you.”
He glances at the pillow still in his hands. “I’m not sure I believe that.”
I blush a little, turning back to the bed. “Can I help you?” I ask calmly.
I hear footsteps, and then I turn to see Steve an inch away, studying me carefully. “Are you sure you’re alright?” He asks quietly.
I nod, quickly taking the pillow and finishing. “I’m sorry, I just woke up a few minutes ago and haven’t had time to clean up.”
“It’s fine,” He eyes my hair with a faint smile. “It looks cute on you.”
I ignore my burning cheeks and send him a glare. “I’m not interested in being used as a test subject for whatever tricks Mr. Stark has shown you.”
He meets my eyes calmly. “I was wondering if you could meet me on my floor- after you get dressed.”
I nod once. “Of course. Should I eat first?”
He shakes his head. “Just get ready and meet me on my floor. F.R.I.D.A.Y. should be able to help you.”
“Friday?” I ask, confused.
Realization lights his eyes. “You haven’t had a chance to meet her yet, have you?” He shakes his head a little. “I’m sorry. F.R.I.D.A.Y. is Tony’s artificial intelligence system. She runs the building.”
“Good evening,” A female voice says through the ceiling, making me jump. “I apologize for not introducing myself earlier.”
I swallow carefully. “Nice to meet you.” I look at Steve, and he must sense the panic in my eyes.
“Fury likes to keep her quiet around guests,” He explains gently. “Since we don’t know how long you will be here, I don’t want you to be surprised if you hear her.”
There’s the motive for F.R.I.D.A.Y. “I understand.” I glance at the now made bed. “I can be ready in five minutes.”
Steve nods, moving towards the door, and I put my face in my hands before forcing myself to move towards the closet.
“Maggie?”
I glance at him, surprised to see him smiling.
“I was being honest. It looks cute on you.” I open my mouth, intending to tell him off, but he’s already gone, leaving me to get ready with burning cheeks.
“How do you keep doing that?” I ask, accepting the spatula I had been about to ask for.
Steve offers a slight smirk. “I guess I’m just that smart.”
I roll my eyes and focus on the food. “I need the-” I cut myself off, glaring at the bag of chocolate chips. “Quit it.”
He chuckles, watching me angrily add them to the bowl. “Do you always cook when you’re mad?”
“No,” I clip. “This would be the first.”
He brushes a strand of hair behind my ear, making me freeze. “Is that so?”
I force the blush down and focus on cooking. “Usually I don’t have super soldiers there to aggravate me.”
He laughs, moving back to grab something, and I breath a sigh of relief at the distance. Somehow it’s hard to focus with him so close, and he seems to like seeing it. I don’t know what the motive behind it is, though. “Maybe you should cook around them more often.”
“I doubt it,” I shoot back, pouring pancake mix onto the skillet. I set the bowl down and turn to see him watching me. He looks away, focusing carefully on setting the table, and I take a nervous breath. “Steve?”
He looks up instantly, watching me carefully. “Yes?”
I bite my lip. “Where is the shooter?”
He hesitates. “You can’t tell anyone.” He warns quietly. I nod once, and he takes a breath. “We don’t know. He’s gone.”
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