#of course it backfires 100% of the times

[mellosdrawings]

He's not the sharpest tool in the shed.

[tanglepelt]

Dc x dp idea 100

John likes to trick beings to getting himself a good deal and screwing the entities over. So he does this with the new ghost king.

He somehow worded the deal to keep the king in his home realm. You know to keep Danny in the infinite realm unable to attack the earthly realm.

This backfires. And backfires hard. Danny’s home realm is still the earthly one. All John did was not let him back into the realm.

Danny is thrilled. And living his best life. No more council meetings, the paperwork is stuck in the keep, the Observants can’t force him to do kingly duties and above all else. He is passing all of his classes. Scheduled fights with his rogues help as well.

John. Well he’s not having a good time. The Observants are screaming at him, the new king is stuck in earth who knows what he is up to, and he’s had visits from all of Danny’s ghost guardians to yell at him.

John has to break the deal.

Danny doesn’t want to.

When Danny eventually agrees to discuss it. He shows up with a ghost lawyer, sam, and Jazz all in order to secure Danny a good deal. Maybe tucker as well.

Danny wants at least rated M and movie tickets for him and his friends for life, and of course Martian manhunters autograph.

Jazz wants him to get a guarantee that they would leave him alone.

Sam wants them to guarantee ghost protection and end the Giw.

[married-to-google-translater]

I know Halloween is VERY far, but I thought this was too funny not to tell you (Especially since it’s based around my 2 Husbands!)

Reader dresses as the Ghost Bride (Princess Eliza) and sneaks into Ignihyde/Diasomnia with the help of Ortho/Lilia to prank their Housewarden

She sneaks into their rooms and wakes them up asking them to ‘Marry me’

You know what Idia will do (Scream and run away, only to later realize his crush basically ASKED him for marriage, but his charisma/social bar is too low for him to say yes!)

…But it just backfires on Malleus as he’s just smiling in pure joy as he takes out a little checklist VOLUME BOOKS on his ideas for the perfect wedding but he’s very flexible to talk about compromises to make a perfect wedding! 🤣

Why do you think?

No worrys <3 No worrys <3 You aren't late at all~~ just little early ;3

Malleus Draconia

You and Malleus were good "friends".

You really wanted more.

And you thought this would be the best way to tell him.

You thought it really wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Because Malleus teleported to your room at random times for reasons that were a complete mystery to you.

The plan was perfect.

But you'd have to ask Lilia for help.

Because otherwise a loud crocodile could ruin your plan.

Lilia would help you into the Diasomnia dormitory.

And he would also tell you where the Malleus room is.

You kept waiting for Sebek to jump around the corner and start yelling something.

However, that doesn't happen.

You finally made it safely to the Malleus room.

He would look hot AF when he was asleep.

You almost feel bad waking him up for this.

ALMOST

Malleus would be really confused at first.

It would take him a moment to register what you were saying.

But when he did…

Malleus would be really happy.

He would have waited a very long time for this.

Malleus would surely have whole novels written about your wedding plans

Btw you guys are getting married now.

Oooh was that just a joke?

Yeaaaaah too bad.

You asked and Malleus answered in the affirmative.

" Oh Mc I'm so happy. I say yes. We will get married as soon as possible. Oh Mc I love you so much. * takes out the 1000-page Novel * So I've already made some wedding plans. "

Idia Shourd

You and Idia were friends.

You had met through the internet.

And your friendship was going well.

But you wanted a little more.

You really wouldn't know how to confess your feelings to Idia.

It felt like you were too shy and boring.

So you decided to talk to Ortho about it.

And together you came up with this idea.

Because that would be a little fun.

Ortho helped you get into the dorm.

And finding his room wasn't difficult.

Of course, Idia wouldn't be sleeping.

Even if it's 1:00 AM.

Sleep rhythm pfffffffft who needs that?

Idia is surprisingly moody

Most likely, Idia would be watching anime or playing something when you sneaked into his room.

He would 100% have a heart attack if he thought you were Eliza…

When he realizes that you are not Eliza he would calm down.

Just so you could have another heart attack because you're in his room.

And did you just ask him to marry you?

Idia wouldn't really know how to handle this information.

Idia.exe has stopped working.

He really doesn't know what to say.

Maybe in a couple of hours he will get his thoughts in order.

[peachsayshi]

peach u should absolutely 100% share that nanami thought

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ sugar daddy!nanami x babysitter!fem reader ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ minors/ageless/blank blogs dni (this blog is 20+ of follows)

➳ tags: single dad nanami; porn with little plot; nipple play; pussy drunk nanamin; oral (female receiving); overstimulation; squirting; mentions of cum; dirty talk ➳ n: don't ask about my mental state when I wrote this.

nanami hasn't been intimate with a woman in two and half years. so, of course, he can’t help but be in a constant state of heat when he’s around you in such close quarters. his last relationship was serious enough for him to invest in an engagement ring, but a surprise pregnancy ultimately turned his life upside down. one minute he was ready to start a family, and the next he found himself abandoned by his partner who left him to raise his son all by himself.

nanami didn't have time to process the devastation of that experience with a toddler to worry about. instead, he buried himself in his work and channeled all his focus on raising yuji. he absolutely adored being a father to his bubbly little boy, but he knew that he couldn't keep relying on his parents to take on the extra pressure as he juggled between his very successful career and fatherhood.

you were a part time babysitter, but a godsend to nanami.

hiring you proved to be the best kind of luxury he could afford, and the man was finally able to acknowledge that he was spreading himself far too thin. with you around, he managed to catch his breath for the first time in two years and the cherry on top was that yuji absolutely adored you.

of course, the arrangement worked out both ways.

you were strapped for cash after paying off your loans, and with the cost of living skyrocketing in the last couple of years, you knew you needed to take on a second job just to make ends meet. not only was nanami the sweetest employer, but he offered you a very generous salary.

the man isn't shy to admit that you brought a little light back into his life, as well as some peace and much needed quiet.

he found himself having more alone time during the weekends, especially on saturdays when yuji would stay by his grandparents and you were off from work.

that's when it dawned on him just how lonely he'd been all these years. he shouldn’t have been surprised that his dormant sexual appetite emerged once you came into the picture, and that he regularly began touching himself with the thought of fucking you in every position imaginable.

after one of his solo sessions, when your name escaped him in a broken grunt as he came all over his palm, a bold proposition crossed his mind…

…you've been doing such an amazing job with yuji, why not help fulfill his needs to?

he knew how much this could backfire if things turned sour, but nanami was also aware of your financial circumstances and decided that the risk was worth taking.

he treated the conversation professionally; along with a monthly salary, he offered to cover any and all of your expenses in exchange for you quitting your job and working exclusively for him.

he had "new terms" in regards to your position. you would continue taking care of yuji as usual, but every saturday would be dedicated to having scheduled "dates" with nanami. he was expecting a companionship, preferably one that was physical, but he wasn’t going to force you with anything you were uncomfortable with. you were to join him on any work or family trips, but he reassured you that you were allowed to take any personal breaks and holidays as you saw fit. he would be flexible with you just as long as you stick to the demands of the contract he drafted.

“can I think about it?” you asked him a little breathlessly, your cheeks scorching hot as you clenched your thighs tightly together in your seat.

“take whatever time you need,” he politely replied. “I want you to think it through”

- ♡ -

this pretty cupless corset top with the matching lace thong is the most expensive present you’ve ever received. the detail on the set itself is stunning, molding around your body like a piece of art. your skin is the canvas beneath the see through material, showing off the printed panels and lacy embroidered detailing.

nanami handed you the present just the night before as he walked you out the door.

“wear this tomorrow,” he whispered in your ear, smirking with amusement and anticipation.

you feel so exposed with your tits exposed out like this, hard nipples poking against the air as you watch your employer wrap his mouth over one of the tender buds.

you hiss as he swipes his tongue along the peak, nipping at the tip with his teeth before sucking gently. your thighs were still trembling from the orgasm he just delivered from this act alone, and you can feel your arousal stick to your inner thighs as it soaked through your underwear.

“ah-ah!” you whine, your lashes fluttering close as you arch your hips lightly against his pelvis. “nanami-san…”

it’s strange hearing yourself call out his name this way, the tone unfamiliar and foreign to your ears.

those strong, beautiful hands leave your waist and travel to your breasts. nanami squeezes your tits and drags his thumbs over the taut peaks as he places a kiss along the boning of your corset.

“I'd rather be inside you, but I haven’t tasted pussy in ages…” he admits shyly against your ribs, his mouth traveling further down to the space between your legs.

your thighs nearly snap close, but he sternly pinches your nipples to keep them spread.

“Such a pretty thing, I bet you taste like heaven ...” he contemplates, nuzzling his nose into your clothed crotch and breathing in the scent of your arousal. he swipes his tongue over the soaked material, his brown eyes turning hazy as he glances up at you from between your legs, "mmm, you really fucking do..."

your spine quivers from the vibration of his deep voice, and his vulgar choice of words. nanami releases his hands from your chest and proceeds to tug your underwear to the side while keeping one thigh nice and open for him.

he licks his lips at the dewy wet mess and groans.

"fuck, I could cum just looking you."

he places featherlight kisses over your clit, one after the other, until you sigh dreamily as your head fall backs against the pillow. he keeps you spread while his tongue massages over the sensitive button and parts your folds. he slurps, nips, and kisses to his heart's content - the tension knitting the front of his brows together from how your pussy intoxicates him.

he draws out another orgasm, his hand kneading your shaking thigh as your essence coats the lower have of his face. he can feel himself leaking through his boxers, so he ruts against the mattress to give himself some relief.

he moves to focus on just your clit, making noises as he lewdly sucks on the bud. his other hand finds your dripping hole, and he manages to slip two fingers inside with ease. he brushes his digits upward, the pads stroking over your gummy walls and turning your sensual moans into desperate little whimpers.

the pressure is unbearable; the tight coil around abandon an ache that you can't even stand. your hand threads between his golden strands, your manicured nails digging into his scalp which eggs him on even further. your eyes roll to the back of your head, your jaw goes slack when he touches just the right spot that has tears of relief falling down your cheeks.

your body spasms when your third orgasm trickles through you in an eruption, a gush squirting from between your legs and painting nanami's hand, forearm and neck.

"good girl," he grunts as he peppers kisses over your pubis and along your hip.

you're trembling as you readjust your position to sit up again. nanami finally shifts his body to sit upright, his knees on either side of your thighs. he pulls his dick out of his boxers and starts stroking his thick, veiny cock. you're panting to catch your breath, mouth slightly dry at the sight of the bulbous head.

"s-shit, I can't h-hold off any longer," he admits with a shaky voice, his heavy eyes locking on yours as he continues jacking off. "gonna have to cum on those beautiful tits, darling..."

you sheepishly reach one hand to tweak at your nipple to provoke him, "do whatever you want with me, I'm yours."

your sensual delivery tips him over the edge and with just a couple more strokes, he finally reaches his climax and shoots white ropes all over your chest.

you crawl up his body as he comes down from his high, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your tainted chest against his own strong torso. you brush your finger over his undercut, leaving a kiss along his jaw before murmuring against his lip: "was that good for you, nanami san?"

he grins as he reaches to grip the flesh of your rear, his lips closing the gap of space where he steals a messy, open mouthed kiss. "better than I expected, " he reassures as he nips at your bottom lip, careful not to confess that he's pined for this moment night after night.

[utilitycaster]

Do you get the impression CR has been subtly trying to tamp down speculation C3 is the last campaign lately?

No, I do not.

I'm guessing this was prompted by the WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED video but that just tells us that they have ongoing production plans going into 2025, which, we knew, because if nothing else the Mighty Nein animated series is still in production. They will still exist as a production company that puts out new stuff long after they stop running longform campaigns.

I want to stress that what I'm about to say is not directed specifically at you but at the fandom at large based on some patterns I've seen - this ask felt like a good opportunity to do so because it touches on some of those patterns but please understand I'm not holding you accountable for all of this; I just use anon asks as this sort of jumping off point sometimes.

I think the cast overall cares WAYYYYYYY less about what the fandom is doing and saying than much of the fandom thinks they do. I think most of them are barely aware of what the fandom is doing and saying. When they do know and care, they are not shy about saying when they think the fandom did something they think is obnoxious (Bowlgate freakouts, sharing Braius's original backstory, thinking Orym or Ashton should have stopped Laudna; or on a more serious level, Liam and Marisha both did a lot of damage control after Molly's death when people were being hostile towards Matt and Ashly Burch and told those people to cut it out and be nice to their guests.)

I've gotten a few questions about whether I think C3 is the last campaign, and my genuine answer is I feel less certain it is than I was before, but as I have zero insight into the CR cast's discussions or priorities or production plans, this means literally nothing, because I was guessing wildly then and I'm guessing wildly now. (I'm pretty solid on making narratively-based guesses but that goes out the window when it comes to production decisions). But also I saw a poll yesterday on whether this is the last campaign, and like. Look. Someone asked me towards the end of Campaign 2 if this was the end of Campaign 2 and I was like "Surely not! We still have Molaesmyr!" and then Campaign 2 ended like 3 episodes later. It's normal and understandable to try to say "but we'll get more, right? RIGHT?" and I've done so myself, but that poll could get a 100% response rate of "OF COURSE THERE'S A CAMPAIGN 4!" and then 5 months from now we could get an announcement that C3 was the last longform campaign, because no one answering that poll knows the answer. It's very normal to want an answer and to hope for more campaigns - I would be thrilled with a Campaign 4 - but literally we don't know. It's entirely possible the cast is still deciding; and if they have, this is probably information that only the company and like, their immediate circle of friends know, if that.

It's literally impossible to shut down speculation, and even subtle attempts to do so are likely to backfire. Without going on a rant about one of my most deeply felt subjects, while fandom is a great place in which I've met many wonderful people, it is also fertile breeding grounds for conspiracy theories, a thing I loathe with every fiber of my being. Again, I think that the cast could run a QA panel in which every single cast member said in unison "The canon ships in TLOVM are Vax and Keyleth; Vex and Percy; and Pike and Scanlan" and someone would be like "well, I saw Taliesin in the bathroom two hours later and he took precisely 47 seconds to wash his hands and from this I can conclude PERCY AND VAX REAL." And from what I understand regarding anime fandom it's about a million times worse, which is to say, I think the cast knows that and knows to just not bring up a Campaign 4 until they're good and ready and to let the fandom do what they will.

tl;dr the cast cares way less about what any of us think than many of us think; you will almost certainly not find out if there's a campaign 4 and what system it is in until the cast announces it; and the thing about wild speculation is that there exist people who will straight up ignore direct unambiguous statements in order to persist in their own personal alternate reality.

[funniestbitchinfaerun]

Halsin Gives a Five-Star Review

Soooooo... a while back I promised to write something relating to this interaction as a reward/punishment for getting 100 followers on this blog....

and after an exhausting couple of weeks at work I have FINALLY produced something! featuring two best boys (Halsin and Thaniel) discussing one best girl (my tav Kestrel, Selune's okayest soldier).

---

It was probably wishful thinking on Halsin’s part, but the shadows seemed lesser somehow, as though they knew they would soon be gone. There was still much to do, but for the first time in countless years, he felt a glimmer of hope.

Beside him, a small not-quite-child stirred and stretched, awkwardly pulling himself up into a sitting position. Dark green eyes darted about the camp in suspicion.

“Am I awake?” Thaniel asked quietly.

“Awake, and in better health than I could have dreamed of. The Shadowfell is long behind you, I swear.” The boy still looked confused, and Halsin eyed him with concern. “What do you remember?”

Thaniel screwed up his eyes in concentration. “I remember…light. More light than I’d seen in a century. And then you, of course, and some woman with orangey hair, who cast a healing spell on us. Who was that?”

“Her name is Kestrel,” Halsin replied. Even saying her name sent a rush of warmth through his veins. “A cleric of Selûne, and a very brave soul. She and her friends risked their lives defending the portal I opened to save you.”

“Why?”

Why, indeed? The question had occurred to Halsin plenty of times, and he still wasn’t sure he had an answer. There were strategic reasons, of course–defeating Ketheric and ending the curse would make finding a cure that much easier–but none of them quite rang true.

“She helped,” he began slowly, “because she had to. Or rather, I don’t think she realized she could refuse. I’ve never seen her turn down a friend when they ask for help, no matter how badly it might backfire.”

A wry smile flickered across Thaniel’s face. “That reminds me of an old friend.”

“A flattering comparison, though perhaps giving me too much credit. She’s made more progress in a few days than I made in a hundred years, all while suffering from a deadly brain parasite.”

Thaniel tilted his head. “You love her,” he said simply.

Heat rushed to his cheeks, like some love-struck adolescent. “Well, of course I love her. She’s become a very dear friend.”

“That is not,” Thaniel said sternly, “what I meant.”

Halsin cast an instinctive glance toward the campfire, where Kestrel sat on a log next to Wyll, both of them giggling over a worn red-covered book. The firelight illuminated her autumn-leaf hair and lent a golden cast to her skin. Perhaps it was his desire-addled imagination, but she seemed to almost glow with warmth, like a living moon lantern. 

“No,” he said at last. “I suppose you’re right.”

[crazylittlejester]

Somehow I feel like Time/Mask is the kind of people that'll laugh at his traumatic/triggering stuff. I mean like, as a first response.

He absolutely do not to deal with it, and he won't have to if he can just laugh at it, right? No way it'll backfire. Besides what else is he gonna do, cry about it?

Of course, eventually comes a point where he can't laugh it off, then all the suppressed horror starts catching up with him and, yeah. Actions and consequences and horrors.

OH 100%. ABSOLUTELY AND FOR SURE. He absolutely makes jokes about shit as a way to cope

[syndrossi]

resonant ch32 dvd commentary

This chapter I rushed to get out on Thursday as I juggled Thanksgiving preparations (four pies! bad idea! remind me not to do this again!) and obligations. I wasn't entirely pleased with it--I didn't having pacing concerns like I did the previous chapter, there were just some rough patches in terms of prose/transitions.

Fortunately, I was able to give it a smoothing pass today and I'm much happier now, so let the DVD commentary commence!

Favorite line(s):

There is a man whose honor lives between his legs, Jon thought, and some of the sentiment must have made its way onto his face, because Cole’s smile turned narrow-eyed frown when they crossed gazes.

Jon throwing shade/judgment is always a joy, and I love the phrasing of his contempt here. 😂 He really just said "man thinks with his dick" but in a fancy way, and...that's Cole in a nutshell (pun intended).

The inside of the sept was hazy with burning incense, the light of the sun hitting the crystals of the windows and then scattering into the faint smoke above, turning it bright with beams of color.

As much as Jon dislikes the sept (and as rough as it is on Rhaegar being there), it's such a striking building to write about. There's some commentary to be had, perhaps, on how evoking a feeling of awe goes into designing a place of worship, and you can't deny the Faith is good at that much!

Favorite Details

Crown Prince Rhaegar

Jon’s sole source of amusement that afternoon was the way every visiting lord and petitioner mistook Rhaegar for the king’s eldest son, rather than the bored, constantly whispering Aegon. The king did not bother to correct them, and Jon could see the growing clench in Hightower’s jaw.

IDK the hilarity of Viserys just going "well, don't mind if they do." It's a good thing Daemon wasn't there, or he'd be just as outraged as Otto, albeit for very different reasons. (How dare anyone compare his son to one of the Hightower spawn? How dare Viserys pretend that Rhaegar is his son?)

I didn't want to zoom in too deep for this comedic bit, but you can imagine Aegon being the most bored child of all time, wanting to be anywhere else, while Rhaegar listens attentively to each petitioner/lord, mentally quizzing himself on what they seek / their house alliances/interests, guessing the king's response, guessing Otto's response, thinking about how he would have responded, and then judging the final package. This was excellent enrichment for Rhaegar, who is usually quite bored in their morning lessons!

If Jon hadn't been so cranky about Rhaegar's manuevering, he probably would have found at least some of the petitions interesting!

Crown Prince Rhaegar pt2

Rhaegar giving Jon a tiny taste of how unpleasant it can be to make yourself his enemy. He knows exactly what leverage to apply, which pieces to move into play this time to thwart Jon's extracurricular activities. Jon's paranoia is well-founded: it was pretty much 100% his interference.

But just as Jon's secrecy is about protecting Rhaegar, this is also more about Rhaegar trying to force Jon's hand so that he does tell him. It's just...very subtle. If Rhaegar confronted Jon directly, that might actually be more effective. But he keeps dancing around it, partly because he fears to learn why Jon won't tell him--that it's because Jon doesn't trust him or doesn't think he's capable of being an asset and is only a liability.

So instead Rhaegar's playing 4D chess while Jon's playing checkers, and they just keep playing around one another. And of course the final ploy backfires on Rhaegar and his worst fears are confirmed.

Lord Commander Jon Targaryen

Rhaegar's not the only hypercompetent person this chapter, of course! Jon Little Lord Commanders the shit out of a solid chunk of the harbor records, and because Daemon thinks this shit is normal and Laenor isn't around to remind him that holy fuck Daemon an eight-year-old should be doodling in the margins of papers not producing an indexed summary of his findings after spending two hours sifting through poorly sanitized data, he just goes "aww, my little master of whisperers, so much better than Reyne 🥰."

(I mean, I'm sure Daemon thinks it's a little unusual, but again, his brain generally goes "well, my sons being supremely gifted is only logical," with a side of "they grew up trying to please that fucker Allard, and applied themselves too hard scholastically" and maybe even a dash of "they are like my father and uncle, who I never knew as children so presumably they were just like this.")

Dynamics

Rhaegar and his family

This little bean is going through a lot this chapter, and coping with it by going full crown prince, as mentioned earlier. He's hyperanalyzing Daemon, doing a thousand small tests to figure out how much influence he's under, how subtle the signs are, etc. Both times with the map, he's fishing to see if Daemon feels the pull in any particular direction, given how eagerly he dragged Rhaegar to Caraxes in ch31. He's building up his powerbase as quickly as he can behind the scenes, hoping to have the influence he needs to protect his family.

And with Jon, it's a mess. As I said, his greatest fear is that Jon doesn't trust him, doesn't view him as a peer, but as a burden. He views the bracelet Jon gave him for their name day as a sacred promise: we are in this together, your fight is my fight, we face our battles together. And what he keeps getting back from Jon is silence, deflection, stubborn determination not to tell him anything. He's not even given a chance to plead his case, or prove that he can be an asset! Jon has effectively written him off.

And Rhaegar lets himself believe that maybe it's the candle's influence, that it's distancing Jon from him, but at the very end of the chapter, that bubble is burst and it is as he feared: Jon doesn't trust him.

Jon and his trust issues

It's a doozy! You can even argue some of it is merited or at least reinforced by recent events. He was forced to trust Daemon to handle getting rid of the candle, and Daemon was ensnared by it, turned from the one adult they can trust to the one they can must question and protect. He relied on Viserys (and Daemon) to guard the candle, and it was left within easy reach and stolen. He has to beg Viserys to do things that seem obvious courses of action to Jon, like assigning a guard to protect Daemon. His Valyrian maester is useless. Cole is a petty bitch. Ser Steffon is negligence personified.

All of which reinforces to Jon that the one person he can truly rely on is himself. And his distrust of Rhaegar, such as it is, is more born of fear than actual distrust. Yes, there is the possibility that Rhaegar could become compromised like Daemon, but it hasn't happened yet. But Jon was so convinced that he was an aura of ultimate protection, only for Daemon's ensorcellment and his and Rhaegar's nightmares to shatter that illusion. (Is it a fair expectation that individuals with trauma like their family's won't have natural nightmares? Probably not, you can't guard against brain chemistry, Jon.)

And he's lost so much and so many people, especially siblings and father figures. And who is most at risk here? His brother and his father.

So it's all as perfectly understandable as it is frustrating to see Jon starting down along Viserys's path of deciding he knows what's best for everyone and is most qualified to handle matters, and that secrets must be kept from those who aren't qualified to know them.

Jon and Jon

Jon's barriers between himself and Jon Redfort have taken a beating in all the stress and trauma, and we've seen several signs of it over the past few chapters. Whereas before it was usually Jon Redfort's emotions heightening Jon's, this time Jon is actually experiencing Jon Redfort's emotions, even when they are unlike his. And whereas before, Jon had almost no memories of his childhood, several have been trickling into conscious thought recently.

What the end result will be, who can say...

(I wanted to do an Alicent section too, but I'm running out of steam! This is quite long already. 😅)

Quick hitters

As I've crowed before, we've had the biggest time passage since ch11: five whole days!

There was quite a bit of subtle setup this chapter that we'll see come into play later...

I have way too much fun figuring out how secret doorways might be constructed. I didn't do any research here, I just sort of put on my DM hat and sketched a few things until I had something I liked. I don't know if the prose makes it entirely clear how the panel doorway works, but I thought it was clever at least! 😂

There's one thread that people sort of picked up last chapter but less so this chapter (tho tbf I think only 2-3 people are avidly trying to puzzle out the candle business and willing to present their theories to me); it was subtler this time, but it's the Big Clue about how the candle's most diabolical influence works and is ITSELF a clue for something else. Sorry, sorry, this is vague as shit, I know.

Why hasn't Daemon let the boys swing Dark Sister before now? I think it's a combination of injuries, being distracted, and the initial sword trauma when he nearly bisected Rhaegar at Castle Cox.

Jon using puppy training tactics on Shadow 🥺. The ham treats, the yelping upon being bit...

This is the first time the boys have actually been alone in the Red Keep outer grounds. (I don't count the times in the holdfast, or when they were wandering the secret tunnels.) Daemon would 100% have a meltdown if he knew.

I had a lot of fun with the Valyrian children's book, at least coming up with one of the stories, because it involves thinking about what morals/lessons the dragonlords of Valyria would want to instill in their children. In a society where dragon bloodlines were just as important/guarded, stealing a dragon egg must have been a heavily punished crime, so that's reflected in the story. (The boy tries it, the boy dies.) We'll see what other stories show up there!

Writing Jaehaerys and Daemon subtly butting heads, even in mere recollection, never gets old

[rawliverandgoronspice]

one tiny lore detail that I really appreciate in Ocarina of Time is how the Triforce bearers were not chosen based on what they represent the most, but what they most believe in. I think it really tracks much better than if we base it on who they are as people. Of course Zelda would yearn for the Wisdom to protect her kingdom from her own really unfortunate ten-year-old bad plan that backfired horribly, and have the knowledge to never let anything like this ever happen again. Of course Ganon would believe in the value of Power the most --regardless of our reading on the character, he was forced to yield to someone mightier than he was, and even as a trick that was probably unbearable to him. And of course Link would believe in the virtue of Courage above all else, as it is basically all he can rely on and what he needs the most to face the challenges ahead. That's just a really smart way to contextualize it all, and removes an arbitrary aspect of essentialism that doesn't 100% match them otherwise in my opinion, and makes them more active characters.

[mychlapci]

I like to think humans are p much the only beings in the whole universe to figure out contraceptions. Almost all other races have super low birth rates, dont experience pleasure in reproduction (so no recreational sex), and/or have regular harsh conditions that balance the population out. Cybertronians were only just getting to an overburdened population when the war started, but it's not till they get to earth they find out about birth control like

Spike: man its such a pain remembering a condom but smh what are u gonna do yknow im not ready to be a dad

The autobots, half who are trying to hide their pregnancies and the other half with part fried processors bc theyre overcharged by attempting abstinence: a what?

Which of course leads to typical g1 shenanigans as they try to figure out contraceptions for cybertronians (not helped by wheeljack's attempts often backfiring - spike now understanding the poor bastard has been limping along in his projects for centuries bc they cant spare wheeljack for maternity leave).

And of COURSE decepticons have to get involved with their own attempts at making their own and trying to sabotage the autobot's. Which leads to Spike having to tell the autobots the whole "nothing except abstinence is 100% guaranteed" and if the autobots had hair to pull out, they would.

It’s so funny to think that cybertronians never thought of creating their own contraceptives nor have they ever managed to encounter a species that had enough sex to bother with such things. Until Earth, of course. Also, did no one tell them about pulling out?

when they're on Earth, so many of them are already pregnant. They can’t afford more soldiers to go off duty because of their growing bellies, it’s a big rush to create protection that actually works and is comfortable to use, otherwise they’re all going to end up too pregnant to fight, autobots and decepticons alike. 

Of course they fail miserably… spike-caps that choke the spike and cause chafing in the valve, gestation tank seals that are uncomfortable and rust, whatever the hell that Wheeljack comes up with, most of which exploded, thankfully not inside of any cybertronian, since no one was willing to actually try and test Wheeljack’s contraception. 

… Part of me hopes that Nothing works. They are either bound to fizzle with charge until the end of time or keep on having babies. Another part of me wants them to figure it out and have full blown orgies for days on end. The war is put on the backburner bacause they’re all just fucking each other constantly.

[celticcrossanon]

Celta, Big Fat Psychic on YouTube latest video says that the supposed German documentary that has Harry and Meghan shaking in their boots is more Sussex PR. she contacted through a third party a small documentary film maker to do it when they were in Germany for Invictus. She’s had this plan for over a year, ever since Spare flopped. And they cannot get out if it, even though they know now they’ve been played. They’re worried about slander, but they are bound by the contract to her. She says that Meghan (and Harry, the cuckold) will blame all his drug taking in Charles behaviour, and she will say that William and Catherine does drugs too. Harry know that it is slander and made up lies, yet he feels he has no choice but to go along.

It’s supposed to be coming out this summer, and THIS will finally close the door for Charles. Northy another YouTuber says that they will be coming big time for William this summer, and I believe this is it.

All I will say is I hope Harry has paid up his life insurance and it’s up to date. And I hope it comes out that they are 100% behind this documentary. What pieces of garbage.

Hi AnonymousRetired,

If this is something the Sussexes paid for, and it exposes things that they don't want exposed, then it is poetic justice imo.

On the other hand, if this is another hit piece on Charles, William, Catherine etc that the Sussexes have paid for, then I expect it to backfire spectacularly on them. In that case I also want the news to come out that the Sussexes paid for the documentary.

Harry is responsible for his own behaviour. Blaming others for his actions will get him nowhere. He is the one who took the drugs so the responsibility is his.

There are already a certain group of people who like to believe that Princess Catherine takes heroin to stay so slim, so any drug accusations will feed into their prejudices. Any normal person will know that neither Prince William or Princess Catherine take drugs, but there are always those driven by envy and spite who will seize on any lies about drug taking as it confirms the lies they tell themselves and makes them feel good.

The media, of course, will create another huge media storm about this, so be prepared for that. It is the last thing that The King, Prince William or Princess Catherine need but that is what the Sussexes thrive on - hurting people when they are down.

If any allegations in the documentary can be proven to be false than I hope those responsible for lying are sued and lose the case. The Sussexes can not go on lying about members of the BRF and not face any repercussions for it. Enough is enough.

[calxide]

⸻ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐏 | A MOUTHFUL (of love)

tighnari x gn!reader | 0.8k+ words ; profanities, no pronouns used for reader, mentions of food, tighnari is very goofy(/pos), lmk if there's more

As you and Tighnari are both stuck together, his stomach growls in hunger. Being tied up together, you're forced to come with him and watch him consume his food with delight as the crocodile inside your stomach dares to speak.

chained up masterlist ✧ RTLB :: tartaglia

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to come with me."

"What?"

So, you're here, stuck with somebody. Not just any somebody, but this someone you're stuck with is none other than the boy you've been crushing on for the past few weeks (who also happened to be your classmate for a few classes), Tighnari.

The Student Council of Teyvat International decided to put up a booth called "CHAINED UP." Now, don't let the name of the booth deceive you. You might think that this contains such outrageous activities, but this is where you are wrong; as part of a reputable organization, it is simply an innocent thing you have suggested to the council — to handcuff/tie two people together for the cost of 100 mora for 10 minutes.

It was unbeknownst to you at that moment that it would immediately backfire back right on you. Needless to say, you should've known that this would happen, considering that you are friends with such teasing fellows.

"Do you really have to drag me with you?" You asked with a polite tone.

Tighnari laughs as he intertwines your fingers with him, kissing the back of your hand to taunt you. "Of course, it is with great pleasure that I shall accompany the Student Council's Vice President for a good ten minutes."

"You're lucky you're cute," you murmured under your breath — to which the corner of his lips twisted up to form a cute, captivating smile.

"You wouldn't want to waste the person who registered our names' 100 mora," Tighnari said, paying for the dish he bought.

You grumbled, "Oh, you wish I did."

Tighnari laughed at your grimace. "Besides, our booth will be able to earn more money if I do that," you added—to which he disagreed, saying that it isn't a good investment. You don't spend your money, and you get to be stuck with him for ten minutes — a pretty good deal, to be honest.

He gestured for you to sit beside him, so you both won't have a hard time moving. You watched him indulge himself on the Mushroom Hodgepodge he bought, mouth-watering. You recalled that this was his favorite food — his beautiful eyes sparkled as he savored every bite he took.

Noticing your hungry glare, Tighnari stifled a chuckle as he offered you a spoonful. The aroma was definitely trying to get you to eat the food. You shook your head as you didn't want to give in to temptation.

"You cannot refuse my offer. It would be disrespectful to the cook," Tighnari gave you a smile that made you want to scrape it off his beautiful face.

"I know. But you bought that for yourself." Tighnari shook his head and sighed at your stubbornness.

"And I'm not really hungry."

But you are. And your stomach betrayed you as soon as you said those words. The grumbling of the crocodile existing in your stomach loudly echoed amid the noisy crowd.

Tighnari suppressed his laughter, humming in response to the loud growl. "Mhm. This Mushroom Hodgepodge is really good. I might need to buy another one to satisfy my hunger."

Without warning, you grabbed the spoon from his hand using your free hand and ate the delicious food. You don't know whether it's incredibly delectable or you're just hungry because you feel like you ascended to Celestia and met the Gods and Goddesses.

"See? Tasty, right?" You nodded at Tighnari's question, still munching on the food.

"Really, really good," your voice was muffled, making Tighnari laugh.

"Well, then, have some more."

He offered you the plate, but you had a hard time picking up the utensils with your free hand as it wasn't your dominant hand. Having noticed this, he took the spoon from you.

Tighnari did the airplane thing people do with kids, making you frown. "I am not a kid," you said with a frown.

Tighnari pretended to be thinking of something, "Should I do the... what's that called again? Bing... Bing Chilling?"

You shook your head, pretending to give it a thought, "I think it doesn't work well with foods that are not ice creams," you gave him a fake pout.

"Don't be such a pouty baby. You look like a duck," he teased.

"There's nothing wrong with ducks! They're cute."

"Like you."

You were flabbergasted. You could feel the tips of your ears burning — whether it's from the heat or whatever, you don't know.

"I hate you," you said, attempting to stand up.

Tighnari immediately pulled you down again beside him, "Oh, no, no, no, no. You can't do that. That would be painful for both of us."

"But you know what hurts more?" He continued.

"Yeah?"

"You not eating the food I offer you."

You opened your mouth to say something, only to close it again as Tighnari shoved a spoonful of the food inside your mouth.

"What the hell," you exclaimed after chewing the food.

Tighnari gave you a funny smile. "We could do this for the rest of the day."

"Oh?"

Tighnari nodded, "Mhm. I could feed you all day long. Or, even for a lifetime."

And so, you did.

NOTE ang ganda ko HAHAHA CHOS HII, i hope u enjoyed tighnari's one-shot T__T im not exactly glad on how it turned out but it is what it is! i love tighnari so much ksbfksnsodn i genuinely dont know if i give his character enough justice and im probably high rn bc it's nighttime... i was supposed to post this at an earlier time but got too busy :')) idk when im going to post the next one cause i'm busy with life 😢 and im just rambling atp so gbye

TAGLIST @annoyinglyboredpoet @bluebelony @kithewanderingme @reverse-iak @randomnatics @joantheunicorn5 @i-x4o @wlellsl @ireallylikehamsters

[scahrred]

SIRIUS BLACK. the silence before a dog snaps and bites ; half-buttoned shirts and rolled up sleeves and messy hair— somehow he still manages to look put together ; eyes bright like a battlefield, gaze strong enough to bring a rush of adrenaline to anyone who looks ; the soft strum of a guitar played quietly in the middle of the night ; a haunted house with him as the ghost.

NAME | sirius orion black. NICKNAMES | siri, padfoot. AGE | twenty-three. GENDER | cis man. DATE OF BIRTH | november 3rd. ZODIAC | scorpio sun, sagittarius moon, virgo rising. SEXUAL ORIENTATION | bisexual. OCCUPATION | auror on probation. ALIGNED WITH | the order of the phoenix. WAND | acacia wood, phoenix feather core, 13 inches. also, from the wiki : "according to booth workers at the wizarding world of harry potter, the wand has a defence mechanism: one of the edges is marked differently than the others, and unless the user's thumb is placed on the edge then the wand will backfire." the wiki says this likely isn't canon but my cousin works at universal so clearly i'm at the authority to say it's actually 100% canon. CURRENT RESIDENCE | drifts between his own flat & the potters' home. FAMILY | orion black ( father ), walburga black ( mother ), regulus black ( brother ), kreacher ( greatest annoyance and biggest opp ) PATRONUS | non-corporeal but i took a quiz for him and it said wildcat so like. i guess !

there was always something wrong with sirius. of course, his family won't say as much : likely, they'll say he was corrupted at hogwarts. but it was more than that. nights spent trying to make sense of his family's teachings, of why it was so wrong to be a halfblood or a squib so long as you had an ancient house's name. that was how it began, at least. going to hogwarts was the catalyst ; whatever belief he might have had in his family's values was shattered when he met muggleborns, halfbloods, saw purebloods teetering and failing. immersed himself in muggle culture and found he liked it. the motorcycles and the music and how could anything that brought so much joy be wrong ?

but we're getting ahead of ourselves. first, hogwarts : a sorting gone wrong. if he'd ever had any question of his belonging, it was settled when the hat barely lasted a second on his head before shouting out GRYFFINDOR. his first thought, a dawning horror in the midst of celebration : what is regulus going to think ?

that's how it begins, the black sheep of the black family. he comes home for winter break and drapes his room in gryffindor colors. he buys muggle magazines ( usually tabloids ) off his muggleborn friends and leaves them in every corner of grimmauld place just to see his family scowl. most important of all, he meets the marauders. james, remus, peter. the four of them attached at the hip, a family outside of his own.

maybe he shouldn't have antagonized his family. maybe he shouldn't have pushed his parents further and further away. maybe he should have tried to ease them into breaking free of their beliefs. his life is an endless stream of maybe, maybe, maybe.

the tension bubbles until it bursts. he leaves the only home he's ever known for the potters' house, where he hides out for a bit. they're wonderful, almost like parents to him, but living with the potters just reminds him of what he doesn't have.

so, he leaves. gets himself a horrible flat with some of what uncle alphard left him. now, he's on his own for the first time in his life, stuck trying to find himself and build his identity outside of the black family heir, outside of the marauders, outside of the poor boy euphegenia and fleamont took in.

he works as an auror to keep himself busy, mostly. he could live off of alphard's fortune, but then he'd be bored all day. or worse, his mind would wander, and then he'd have to be reminded that he left regulus.

but it's fine ! everything's fine ! he's read books and watched muggle movies and knows his history. so what if a war is brewing ? so what if his brother insists on following in their family's mistakes ? everything will be fine. good always wins. right ?

[blenselche]

Why do you ship finn/fern? I want to know what you see in it. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I think rare ships and why people like them are interesting.

how can i not when the show literally

ok but forreal, this is long so I'm throwing it under a cut, my fern brainworm really got away from me here...

Finn and Fern's story at its most bare bones is: someone incredibly damaged by abandonment is torn in half and those halves abandon each other. Fern does it literally, Finn more so emotionally. Only when it's too late does one half try to rectify the situation, showing unending patience and unconditional love and being met with vitriol and avoidance. And then... acceptance, and with that acceptance is the ultimate abandonment: death. Tragic, hurts just right. Add onto that-- their relationship references The Green Knight and the Narcissus Myth. The Narcissus myth comes through loudly in CAWM especially. My fav of Ovid's Metamorphoses and all Greek mythology, so that's def a factor. My dad said I cried when he read it to me for the first time lmao.

I don't ship them during/in canon. In canon all I can see is something nebulous and one sided, and we don't need to read into subtext for that, we can just appreciate the show as it's written: Finn helps create this person that 100% gets him after being the odd one out his whole life, Fern's existence even soothes his abandonment issues with a curse that binds them together forever, but he clings too close and doesn't give Fern space, reminding him of how he falls short. Ultimately this want to be "even closer" (very smooth, Finn) is what drives them apart. It's good where it is, it's a great starting point for shipping.

Where I ship them is past canon, blowing subtext up into large print font to pull Fern out of plot device hell into his own character, piggy backing off what we know about the grass demon.

The grass demon/blade was not made to serve the powers of good, but it actively changes/curbs its behavior for the approval of its hero wielder. It helps Finn with anything that deeply emotionally moves him (holding on to Martin, building the tower) keeps him out of unneeded conflict (refusing to attack the vamp king) helps impress his romantic interest (flute spell) it even reverses his arm nullification twice. The grass demon keeps him safe but it goes above and beyond its purpose for Finn's happiness. It reluctantly joins the fight against Bandit Princess because that sword is still Finn, and when its blade pierces/breaks the quillion it even cocoons the Finn Sword's essence safely away. Though, no matter how much good it might do it is still a demon. It has no morals, and doesn't understand them, all it cares about is Finn's safety and well being. When one of Finn's loved ones hurts him it doesn't hesitate to protect him, but (of course) Finn retaliates-- and so it creates a Finn of its own, one that won't hurt it for trying to keep him safe and happy. (OOPS! that backfired.) I love the grass demon, I love what we can glean about it because of its actions through the show and what that could mean for Fern and Fern's feelings surrounding Finn. This is the foundations of the ship to me.

I like to ship them when Fern remembers all of this/what he is (a demon that basically consumed half of Finn's soul), has accepted himself and has integrated his two ego states. We don't need to do any legwork on Finn's end. Dude's already weird enough about Fern canonically, but I do like to build his guilt up until he's a mess on the floor, crying over his past mistake of assuming Fern needed saving in the first place (the thing that leads Finn to ignorantly prompting/assisting in his suicide), haunted by the words of Fern's time echo from the The Beginning of The End comic, never truly being able to trust if he's actually helping someone again.

I like to play in that space of au/hc: a demon and the man he's bound to/he shares a soul with who loves him unconditionally, reunited somehow (a wish, diverging from canon, Penelope and Fern's next incarnation finding one another, etc) and coming to terms with the baggage of all the shit they inflicted on one another. Then maybe Fern can finally hear Finn out without the cloud of festering insecurity when he tells him again how he'd still like to be "even closer".

At its simplest I like finn/fern because I love Fern, and finally accepting and seeing Finn as a completely different person (enough to engage in a relationship, whether sexual/romantic/queer platonic/something that no label fits because of what they are, whatever) speaks to an ultimate form of self actualization, and Fern really deserves to feel that level of "himself" imo.

Hope that was adequately interesting.

[gaybananabread]

TickleTober Day 29 - Wake Up!

@hexalianrebel-blackfeathers - Definitely 29 (Wake Up!) with Hobie getting tickled awake one too many times by Gwen, Pavitr, and/or Miles. I admit I wouldn't be able to pick just one. 

Why choose? I’ve got a feeling it’d probably take all of them to get his ass good, and why not revenge it? Got a little carried away with this one, but I’m pretty happy with how it came out! Used a few of Panda's hcs too! Sorry for the all the lateness recently, it’s been quite the month (O_Ou) Anyhow, I’ve loved writing these spider sillies for you, and I hope you Enjoy!

Lee: Hobie, brief Gwen

Lers: Miles, Gwen, Pavitr

Summary: There’s one golden rule in Hobie’s house boat; don’t wake him up. His friends always break that rule. Deciding to be brats, the spider kids tickle Hobie awake once again. After he recovers, he takes a little revenge.

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!

In Hobie's boat, there was a spoken and unspoken rule. One that his friends could never seem to follow, no matter how many times he snipped at them for it.

Don't wake him up.

Every single time he lets one of them crash at his place, he winds up awake way before he wanted to be. Sometimes it's an accident, like a loud sneeze, broken cereal bowl or random floor squeak. Other times, though, it was 100% intentional. Times like that one.

Hobie was peacefully sleeping, draped over his couch. The other three had stayed the night, so he of course offered up his bed. The punk was tall, meaning he needed a bigger bed. The mattress comfortably fit the three of them, and he could live on the couch. He'd rather have his friends be comfy anyway.

He was planning on sleeping in. True, noon is a bit late, but he had goofed around most the night with the other spider kids; couple that with a full day of patrolling, and you'll know that he deserved a nice rest.

Gwen had been the first to wake up, her father's old work schedule sticking with her. It was nearly nine, but still. She quickly got bored, and not wanting to be the only one awake, poked Pav's sides. He slowly woke, grabbing at her hands and giggling. 

Giggling... Bingo. It would probably get her killed, but Gwen had a wonderful idea. "Hey Pav, how much do you value your sanity?"

He rubbed his sides, still a bit put off by the light tickling. "Uhum, it depends? What do you have in mind?" The mischievous look on her face, while endearing, sent a small chill down his spine. That look only meant one thing, though it wasn't aimed at him this time.

"I think Hobie deserves a special good morning. For letting us stay over, you know?" Pavitr sighed, knowing exactly what she had in mind. “Are you even a small bit worried about his revenge? He has told us many times over to just let him sleep.” He wanted to add that her idea would only get them “tortured,” but the thought made his cheeks go pink. It wouldn’t be that bad...probably.

The next to get roped into her plan was Miles. He got a much nicer wake-up call; Gwen was a bit too flustered to tickle him awake. She opted for poking his cheek until he groaned. “Mmmph…wah?” The boy slowly sat up, immediately picking up on the playful vibe in the room. Should be fun, whatever it was. “What’re you two planning, and can I get in on it?”

One hushed, giggly conversation later, they had a plan. A very stupid, silly plan that would undoubtedly backfire, but a plan.

-

Pavitr inched towards the sleeping punk, regretting his offer to pin him. If even one floorboard squeaked, or if Hobie’s spider sense went off too early, he would be a dead man. A giggly dead man, but a dead man nonetheless. Slowly, he raised his wrists, firing off a few webs at Hobie’s long arms. The punk shifted, but other than that, he didn’t react. Whew…

Miles and Gwen, the cowards, crept into the room behind him. Now that Hobie was restrained, they had no chance of being punished for their actions. “Nice job, Pav. You wanna do the honors?” The bubbly teen shook his head, backing away. “Oh no. I did the dirty work. You seal your own fates.”

Chuckling, Miles approached Hobie; he was feeling brave. He could feel the anarchist stir as he straddled his waist. It was clear he didn’t want to get up, regardless of what was happening. Miles placed his hand on Hobie’s stomach, slowly curling his fingers on the taunt skin. Hobie’s eyes fluttered open, a small glare on his face. The teen just smirked. “‘Sup, Hobie.”

The punk growled, tugging at his arms. Gwen giggled, Pavitr moving behind her to avoid his gaze. “You little shits… What’d I say ‘bout waking me up?” The hell…? Oh. They pinned his arms with web fluid. They were double dead now. “Al’ight, which one a’ yous planned this?”

Pav, ever loyal, pointed to Gwen behind her back. She swatted his hand away, laughing. “Ihit was a group effort! Morning, Hobs!” 

He huffed, looking down at Miles’ fingers for just a second. “You lot are dead as doorknobs.” That would have been a believable threat if a smile wasn’t threatening to come out. Just thinking about the slow fingers on his stomach were getting to him, though he’d never admit it. 

“Sure, sure. Who’s the one pinned under who, Hobie?” Oh, that cocky little- “Miles, I would not push our luck!” At least Pav had some sense. He would go easy on the teen when he took his revenge. Maybe. “It’s cool. Hobie isn’t going anywhere.”

“When I get outta this, you’re all gonna-” Miles cut him off with wiggling fingers, finally attacking the hero’s midsection. Hobie suppressed a squeal, snapping his mouth shut to block the silly sounds from escaping. He thrashed and tugged at the webs, almost bucking Miles off him. The smug teen yelped, hanging onto the couch for dear life. “Hey guys! Little help?”

Gwen quickly ran over to assist, knowing what would happen if Hobie got free; she wasn’t ready for their fun to end so quickly. Hopping on the couch, she sat on his thighs, back-to-back with Miles. “I gotcha! Here, lemme just-” She skittered her nails along his calf, knowing softer tickles worked better on his legs. The stoic boy cracked, bass-sounding giggles rumbling in his chest. Even his giggling was cool…

“Y-youhuhu aharse! Gehe’ ohohoff!” He tried kicking his legs out, but with Gwen on his thighs, he could only squirm. Miles was wasting no time, digging into his stomach and scribbling on his navel. Gwen, on the other hand, was being torturously gentle. It was a small mercy that Pavitr hadn’t joined them, still hesitant on whether or not the punk was okay with it all.

Why did he have to be so nice? Hobie wouldn’t say he was enjoying the silly interaction. He would never, ever admit say something like that. The teasing teens were just enjoying a small joke with him. A joke they would be paid back for, with interest, but a fun game all the same. Who was he to deny them that small pleasure? “Y-youhu’re wahastin’ prehecious time thehere, Pavi! Ihihi’m gohonna kill all ohof you whehen I gehet loose, mihihight as wehehell have sohome fuhuhun!”

The concerned teen needed no more encouragement. He practically bounced over to where Hobie’s arms were pinned, ready to wreak havoc on his nervous system. Pav knew that Hobie had to be in the right mood for them all to tickle him; thankfully, he was. Ten eager fingers dug into Hobie’s hollows, pulling a squeak from his full lips. 

Okay, he was regretting that decision. Hobie tried to curl up, tug his arms free, anything to gain the upper hand on the teens “attacking” him. Pav’s webs held strong though, Gwen’s hold on his legs surprisingly sturdy. While he was completely occupied, Gwen was growing a bit bored with the sort-of-loud laughter. She felt like being a menace; the big reactions were what she was after.

Hobie’s eyes widened when he felt Gwen messing with his boot’s laces. “GW-GWEHEHEN! DOHON’ YOUHU FUHUHUCKIN’ DAHAHARE!” Two pairs of eyes quickly moved to Hobie’s legs, the boys wanting to see what would happen next. Pavitr knew that was a bad spot, but Miles was the most inexperienced with Hobie. It would be funny to see his reaction.

Gwen, knowing he would do anything to get her off, laid across his legs. Hopefully her weight and strength would be enough to keep him down. The anarchist could handle tickling almost anywhere else. That spot, though? He was screwed.

Miles and Pav each stopped their teasing fingers, figuring he could only handle so much at once. The first boot came off, thunking against the wood floor of his house boat. “Gwehendy! Gw-gwehen, c’mon! Enough’s ehenough, mate!” She didn’t share his opinion. One finger dragged up his socked sole, making him muffle a squeal. “Really, Hobs? Plaid socks? And you say I’m a monster.”

“F-fuhuck ohohoff! Miles, Pahav, get her!” He looked to his friends, silently hoping they’d see how evil that was. Both teens gave him an apologetic smile, just holding him down. “Sorry, big man. We won’t let her kill you, promise.” Those little fucking- “GYAAH! GWEHEHENDYHIHI! NAHAHAO!”

Boisterous, loud, frantic laughter flew from his lips, quickly filling the room. He thrashed like a lanky worm on a hook, kicking and twisting in every direction possible. It tickled so fucking much. 

Miles was taken aback by the intense reaction. He had never seen Hobie laugh that hard before; it was just one foot, with the sock on. Mental notes were definitely being taken. “Damn Hobie, you’ve got some pipes on you.”

He wanted to flip the boy off, yell at him, do anything other than laugh his ass off; yet he couldn’t. The spot was that bad. Tears of mirth grouped in the corners of his eyes, his dark cheeks stained a bright red. He could barely form a sentence through his laughter, much less escape. Pride crawling in a hole for the moment, Hobie did the one thing he said he’d try his hardest to never do: beg. “PLEHEHEASE! GWEHEN- STOHOP!”

Just like that, the devilish nails left his socked sole. Miles and Pavitr quickly put some distance between themselves and the punk, valuing their lives. Gwen cut the webs on his arms, freeing him to curl up and giggle his head off. And he did just that; his arms wrapped around his midsection, one hand going to rub his poor foot as his knees went up to his chest. Gwen jogged to the kitchen, getting him a glass of water. 

When offered the liquid, Hobie sighed, downing the entire cup in seconds. His cheeks had calmed a bit, breathing slowly returning to normal. Miles whispered to Pav, not knowing that Hobie could hear every word. “Never guessed Hobie would be a ticklish-feet guy. Hell, I never thought he’d be that ticklish, period.” The punk groaned, making Pavitr giggle. “Why do you think he wears those big boots? Tickle deterrent.” 

Okay, that’s enough of their shit. Hobie stood, one booted and ready to enact his revenge. “I suggest you lot run now.” Miles needed no more warnings, turning invisible and darting away. Pavitr ran for the bedroom, locking himself inside. Gwen tried to do the same, but one of Hobie’s webbed snagged her and brought her into his arms. “Hey there, Gwendy. I fink some payback is in order, yeah?”

Trapped in the backwards hug, Gwen couldn’t do much besides squirm and plead with him. She was regretting not changing out of her thin sleep top. “H-hobie, come ohon! I was just trying to make you smile! It- it worked, didn’t it?” Okay, check on the obvious lies. “Y’know I don’ like liars, Gwenny. Time ta pay your penance.”

He dug into her stomach, paying special attention to the small amount of pudge below her navel. She squealed, her knees quickly buckling as loud laughter poured out of her. She really couldn’t handle the taste of her own medicine. “H-HOHOBIE NOHOHO! IHIT- NOHO FAHAHIR!”

Hobie snorted, loving her immediately crazed reaction. “Not fair? You kiddin’ me? This is 100% fair, ya shit.” He decided to be a bit mean, using both hands to claw at her ticklish tum. Snorts started to break up her laughter, her cheeks growing red as cherries. It was worth waking him, but damn, why did his hands have to be so big?! 

A creak came from the floorboards behind him, making the lanky boy pause. He webbed Gwen’s arms to her sides, scanning the room. “You. I’m gonna be back for you.” Hobie turned his full attention to the rest of the room, watching as his old floorboards shifted near the bathroom door. Bingo.

Hobie spent the rest of the afternoon hunting the perpetrators and making sure they learned their lessons. By the end of it, all three superpowered teens had rosy cheeks, dopey smiles and tired eyes. They were currently in a cuddle pile on the couch, the punk being used as a communal pillow. And you know what? He wouldn’t change a damn thing.

[accirax]

DRDT Secret Swap AU: For Better and Worse

The following is an ask sent to me that, while numerically present in my inbox, is invisible and inaccessible, and thus, I was only able to read it through its corresponding notification email. Tumblr be a functional website challenge; level impossible.

What a great question! Up to this point, I’ve been more of an AU enjoyer than an AU creator (other than the BNHA thing), so this will be an exciting foray into the realm of possibility! The task of creating both the best and worst outcome also provides a lot to think about when it comes to characterization. I’m excited to get talking about this! But first, some rules.

(And the usual CW for DRDT spoilers, as well as mentions of murder, suicide, self harm, eating disorders, and implied homo/transphobia. You know, standard business for DRDT secret discussion.)

To keep things simple, I’m going to be assuming that the true owners of the secrets are as follows:

While I’m by no means asserting that this interpretation of whose secret is whose is 100% accurate, it’s what I see widely agreed upon by the fandom, and what I currently believe myself. Having to factor in a bunch of different permutations of secret distribution seemed terribly complicated, so I decided to avoid it. If anybody disagrees with where I’ve placed any of the secrets, please just consider it as another facet of the alternate universe.

Additionally, I’ve kept up the “rule” that no one is allowed to receive their own secret. I’m also assuming that everything is the same up until when MonoTV hands out the motives, such that Xander and Min are still dead. However, a different distribution of secrets could have changed the details of the Chapter 2 murder, so I kinda have to speak about it in hypotheticals. I was just talking about how I didn’t want to make things needlessly complicated, so I’m not throwing in a bunch of speculation about how the secrets may have factored into the AU killer’s motives when I can’t even say for certain who the canonical killer was.

I also decided to interpret the prompt as “what’s the best/worst overall shuffle” as opposed to “who is the best/worst recipient for each individual secret.” The latter seemed like it might repeat characters too many times, and “the ch2 secrets [getting] swapped in a different way” implied to me that each character was still limited to receiving one secret. Hopefully that’s what you were going for with your ask!

Okay, I think that’s it. Let’s get started with the best case scenario, given that I think that’ll be easier. I’ll go through the characters’ secrets in the order they’re listed in on the board, so that it’ll hopefully be easier to follow along.

The Good Timeline

Eden receives Levi’s secret

If someone was going to have remorse for the remorseless killer, I think it would be Eden. Even if the concept of someone killing in cold blood might frighten Eden, the pair is already off to a good start with the conversation they shared at the beginning of Chapter 2. Eden knows a bit more about Levi’s family situation (which may have been the cause of his callous killing) and how he is trying to be a good person, even if he feels like he might be failing. Compared to others in the cast, I feel like Eden might be more willing to hear Levi out.

Specifically, we know from canon that (under David’s encouragement, at least) Eden planned to share her secret– which was a pretty severe one already– in a closed environment with just her and the secret’s owner. Of course, we haven’t yet seen from canon how Levi would react to getting assigned this secret, so it’s possible he could flip out in a similar manner to how Arturo did when Eden confronted him. However, I think there’s a good chance that he would be more resigned or neutral, which might also give Eden hope that he isn’t a lost cause… again, under the assumption that he isn't. This secret does have a chance of backfiring, but I’m making the choice to have faith in Levi– much like I think Eden would if she saw his secret!

Nico receives David’s secret

Now this is kind of an unconventional one, but, hear me out.

I don’t know if there really is a “good option” for David’s secret in the sense that I think anyone who would choose to reveal the information to the group would be the type to do so in an accusatory, non-constructive way. Similarly, a lot of people who wouldn’t reveal the secret might face problems if it caused them to quietly simmer in their distrust. That suppression of emotions could lead to a big blow up in the future.

Because of that, you might be wondering why I didn’t assign this secret to one of my throwaway slots– namely, Xander, Min, or Rose. Well, it’s because I also wanted to consider what would happen if, even in this good universe, some number of students still needed to attend a Class Trial where the secrets are unknown. Certain secrets, if left unassigned, would lead to paranoia and distrust amongst the students. And, by throwing this secret away, this secret could basically never be confirmed as David’s other than by process of elimination or (highly unlikely) self-assignment. Therefore, all of the students would have to assume that anyone whose secret isn't known has a decent chance of believing that everyone exists to be manipulated. In my opinion, that would make productively discussing a murder really difficult.

So, I decided that the best course of action would be to give this secret to the person who would make the smallest deal out of it, and that turned out to be Nico. Nico already believes that socially interacting with other humans is a complicated and confusing process, the rules of which force you into expressing yourself in a specific, “acceptable” way. Basically, I think that Nico might already see a lot of conversation as manipulation, and themselves as the manipulee. The secret says that David is really good at interpreting those rules and acing the bullet points of “acceptable” conversation? No shit, he’s the Ultimate Inspirational Speaker.

I’m not trying to say that Nico is “dumb” enough to not realize that this secret is generally threatening, but I think that, if word of it were to come out, Nico would present it in a subdued enough manner that it wouldn’t make things worse than they need to be.

Hu receives Ace’s secret

Oh boy, this is a dangerous choice given Ace and Hu’s tumultuous relationship. Although, to be fair, I don’t remember exactly how established that rivalry was prior to the distribution of the canonical secrets. To the extent that they didn’t already hate each other to the point of no return, I chose this one because I think that Hu having the context of Ace’s secret might actually help to mend their relationship.

As I said up top, this AU is predicated on Hu having the “hopeless child” secret. Thus, in this AU, we can say for certain that Hu has a prior history of self harm/self destructive tendencies. If hopeless child Hu does turn out to be canon, it would support the theory that part of the reason why Hu won’t share the “harm yourself for fun” secret is because she knows that mental health is a sensitive subject, and doesn’t want to force someone to open up about it. Given that eating disorders are a form of self harm, we can rest assured that this isn’t a secret Hu would share, no matter how much David suggests that she does.

Given Hu’s history, she might be one of the people in this cast who could best understand Ace’s plight. With this additional context, his quest for power over something in his life might feel more sympathetic, and Hu might be able to muster more concern for him. And, I’m not gonna lie, part of this assignment was granted in the slim hope that the Ultimate Mom Friend Hu would be able to make a big grandma-style meal for Ace to enjoy. They could be an improbably wholesome duo if not for… The Circumstances.

Those circumstances won’t fade anytime soon in canon, but exploring hypotheticals like this are the whole reason why AUs exist!

J receives Eden’s secret

Compared to everyone else, Eden’s secret is a pretty nonthreatening one that, especially among this pretty queer cast, shouldn’t raise a whole lot of issues. The biggest problem I can see arising from it is if someone decided to out Eden, sort of like what happened to Nico. Therefore, I wanted to give Eden’s secret to someone who would be unlikely to share it without Eden giving the okay. And, J seemed to fit that description pretty well.

Obviously, some of J’s canon behavior was spurred on by the fact that Arturo non-consensually revealed her secret (which, spoilers, will not be happening in the blessed half of this AU). But, given J’s preference for privacy, I don’t think J would jump to sharing even a “harmless” secret. We directly saw that J only revealed Charles’ secret once he gave express permission for her to do so, which is what I would ideally want for Eden. Eden’s secret being given to a girl who would presumably be cool with her lesbianism is an added bonus to assuage her fears that (straight) girls who know she’s gay wouldn’t want to be her friend.

Unless, of course, J is also a girlkisser… then maybe the motive secrets could turn into a meet-cute…….. (/j)

Rose receives J’s secret

Finally, our first throwaway slot. After what J’s been through, I think she deserves to have her secret not be a topic of discussion at all– or at least not until all of them are listed out on the board.

There is also some logic behind which secret I gave to Rose as opposed to Xander or Min. We didn’t really see this in canon, but if Whit had let his secret go unclaimed, I could see some people being mad at Rose for inadvertently throwing away valuable information. This sentiment would only increase if Rose’s secret was something more relevant to the case at hand. Like, could you imagine how mad Teruko would have been if Rose had received the “murderer without remorse” secret? They could have had the answer to which person among them was a murderer without remorse, but Rose just carelessly threw it away because she was worried about people’s privacy?!

Therefore, I think the best case scenario for Rose is to receive one of the low-stakes secrets. In the case of J’s secret, it’s possible that someone like Arturo would be able to figure out that it was J’s secret without any confirmation from Rose as long as he had the information that someone in the cast was Mariabella’s daughter. No harm, no foul if Rose throws out the secret only for it to be instantly solvable anyway.

By giving J’s secret to Rose, J gets the blessing of privacy for as long as the secrets don’t become public knowledge, but Rose also doesn’t garner any backlash if they do, for one reason or another.

“Xander” receives Arei’s secret

Just to clarify, there isn’t any meaning behind which secret Xander vs Min got; they both just mean that the secret is un-confirmable.

Arei’s secret is a good one to bury because of how easily it can be misinterpreted. From the phrasing of the secret, nobody would know that Arei’s sisters abused her unless Arei told them herself, and without that context, Arei appears quite villainous. Hell, some people believe that learning of this secret was a reason why Levi would have chosen to kill Arei! If this information about Arei just isn’t out there to be known, then nobody could make that fatal oversight.

Also, Arei already knew what the vague contents of her secret would be, presumably without having seen the actual text. In Ace’s flashback, she quotes David’s secret from memory (because she read it), but when she unveils her own secret, she throws in the detail about reform school which isn’t at all present in the secret’s text. I think it was really important for Arei’s development that she had the agency to reveal her secret at her own pace. By making her secret inaccessible, it removes the possibility that someone else would reveal it before she’s emotionally ready.

Arturo receives Min’s secret

Look at me, pairing Arturo and Min together yet again. What is it about these two that causes me to keep coupling them…? Well, at least this time, they’re paired up because they, like, never talk in canon.

Arturo has proven himself to be a problem when it comes to revealing secrets. Even if he hadn’t been handed Miss Rosales’ dirty laundry, I would believe that he would air out the secrets of whichever nobody he learned about simply due to disrespect. Therefore, I think that giving Arturo a secret that really doesn’t matter is the best course of action. Whether he reveals it on the day the motives were distributed or the day of the Class Trial, most people probably wouldn’t make much of a fuss about an already-dead student’s secret, least of all Arturo. If he doesn’t care about what Min was up to, he wouldn’t stir up any drama by revealing or concealing information.

David receives Xander’s secret

Not gonna lie, I mostly gave this one to David as a form of damage control. I don’t know what he’s going to do with the secret he did canonically receive in the future– whether it belongs to Teruko or someone else, or whether he’s dying immediately or in it for the long haul– but giving David the silver bullet of “the killing game is all your fault” seems like way too much power to hand over. With a dead student’s secret, he doesn’t gain much by telling the truth or have much of a basis to execute a good lie.

The elephant in the room, of course, is that David received Xander’s secret, which is all about the tragically heroic backstory that probably led him to find comfort in David’s speeches in the first place. (And it does paint Xander in a decently positive light– “it wasn’t your fault” erases the possibility that Xander killed his family or whatever.) I imagine that, had David received this secret on the first day, basically a little buffering symbol would appear over his head and he would have to go lie down and stare at the piece of paper for a few hours. Or days.

By distracting David, we can hopefully avoid any of the decidedly negative side effects that him attempting to deduce and reveal everyone else’s secrets caused. While everyone else is growing as a person and whatnot, David can just be… looping the Literature Girl Insane MV in his head, or something. Is that really good for him? Probably not, but these are the heights you can reach when you set out to cause problems.

Arei receives Whit’s secret

Arei already didn’t reveal whose secret she had to anyone, as far as we know. So, if she had the secret belonging to Whit, arguably her closest friend at the start of Chapter 2, I really don’t think she would say anything. That’s good for Whit, because, similar to what I said about Arei herself, I think it’s better for him to have the ability to come forth with his secret when the time is right. Anything else and it might shake up his persona too suddenly and send him fight or flight mode.

I think the biggest potential flaw here is that we don’t know how Arei felt about her mom. Arei is willing to go confront other people about their secrets, so if Arei either really loved or really hated her mom, maybe that would lead her to go confront Whit about what his secret meant. And then, that could lead into him deflecting and looking shady.

That’s not really a huge liability to me, though, so I think this one will be fine.

Veronika receives Charles’ secret

Veronika is a weird case, because whether or not she reveals a secret seems to be based solely on entertainment value. In canon, we’ve seen that she hasn’t yet revealed the “hopeless child” secret because, for whatever reasons, she thinks that’ll make the killing game more interesting. But presumably, if she thought that revealing someone’s secret would make the game more interesting instead, she would have done that.

Because Charles doesn’t remember his brother’s death himself, I don’t think Veronika would see much value in holding it over his head, saving it for a dramatic reaction down the road, or whatever the hell she was trying to accomplish by not revealing Hu’s secret. Therefore, I think Veronika would find it most entertaining to see Charles’ reaction to learning about his amnesia, and tell him pretty quickly.

On the surface, that seems bad. However, I actually think that Charles learning about his secret is… for the best? If you assume that Charles is going to have to learn about this factoid someday, it’s probably better for him if he does it before a Class Trial is called, so that he can be in a more stable mental state. It’s also better for him to do it while he has Whit there to support him, and who knows what could happen between those two in future chapters? Much like Arturo’s assignment, we defuse Veronika’s chaotic power with this one, with the added benefit of potentially helping Charles on his journey to self-understanding.

Levi receives Arturo’s secret

Arturo’s secret was a hard one, because I think most people would react to it pretty negatively, especially with the confirmation that it belongs to Arturo of all people from the start. You could leave it with Eden as someone who seemingly didn’t judge, but given how poorly that situation played out in canon, it felt wrong to leave it in her hands.

Therefore, I gave it to someone who could potentially relate: Levi. He, too, came from a tense family background which he had to leave, and as such, he might better be able to put himself in Arturo’s shoes. While it is possible that Levi could resent Arturo for “ruining” a “good(?)” relationship with his sister (given how Levi struggled to coexist with his siblings), I don’t think it would irk Levi so much that he’d take drastic action against Arturo.

At the very least, we saw that Levi didn’t spill the beans about Arei’s similarly anti-sister secret. By that logic, he probably wouldn’t tell anyone about it, possibly including Arturo. In that case, we avoid Arturo blowing up on whoever was unlucky enough to have to break the news. And, even if Levi did tell Arturo, and Arturo decided to attack, I trust that even an injured Levi could defend himself far better than Eden could.

Ace receives Veronika’s secret

I just don’t think anything particularly bad would happen here. When I imagine Ace receiving this secret, I kinda just think of him going, “what the fuck?!”, and then putting the paper away. As someone who cares immensely about his own safety and image, I can definitely see this secret confusing Ace, but I don’t think to a point where it would really mess him up. It might make him think that Veronika is dangerous and weird, but… well, he already thought that.

Speaking of, especially with this information, Ace is too afraid of Veronika to try to bully her in the same way that he did with Nico. I don’t see any reason why Ace would benefit from revealing this secret, so it would likely remain hidden, which is probably for the best. Honestly, I don’t know if Veronika would care if this secret of hers got out, given that the main reason why people think this is hers is because of the similar sentiments that she already shared with Teruko in a public location. But, regardless, it takes away any ammo Ace might have by making his only target someone who he’s too afraid to take shots at.

Teruko receives Hu’s secret

Completing our little triad of sadness, this is the third instance of me giving a secret involving self harm to someone else who engages in self destructive practices– first Hu with Ace, then Ace with Veronika, and now Teruko with Hu. It obviously sucks that there are so many people in this cast who are struggling with this same issue, but I think it works out well to have them overlap. They’re probably the ones who best grasp the severity of each other’s problems, so they understand the gravity of sharing the information and would take steps to avoid doing that unnecessarily.

But, yeah, there wasn’t much of a reason beyond that for me to assign Teruko here. As a further extrapolation of the above point, though, if Teruko decided to ask Hu about her secret in the same way that she did with Rose, maybe Teruko could provide Hu some comfort about the situation and they could become friends.

Although, thinking about it more, that would actually have a decent chance of backfiring, as Hu might not appreciate having to take on the role of the helped as opposed to the helper, and Teruko might freak out if she felt herself letting her walls down around Hu. But that’s only if Teruko chose to talk to her about it, which is dubious in the first place. I don’t think Teruko would intentionally use this as any sort of weapon against Hu, which is the main criteria I was looking for.

Charles receives Rose’s secret

More unproblematic people being unproblematic. I don’t know if anything weird would happen as Charles’ upper-class upbringing came into contact with Rose’s cash-strapped past, but if it did, it would probably be a positive development for Charles. Y’know, like “realizing that it’s not only wealthy academics who can have talent” or “further learning to recognize his privilege and have sympathy for other people.” Much like what Charles canonically did with Eden’s secret, this one would probably go under the public radar until a Class Trial occurred, at which point Charles would reveal it. And, hey, that’s kind of like Rose’s secret’s canonical fate as well.

I also don’t think that we’d run into any trouble with Teruko possibly learning this one from the note that Charles passed her either, because… again, this was Teruko’s canonical secret, and nothing bad happened. Sometimes no reaction is the sweetest reaction of all.

Whit receives Nico’s secret

Yup, like you implied, Whit receiving Nico’s secret would probably be one of the best options for them. It’s not too much of a surprise. Whit seems to be a pretty securely out bi guy, so he would obviously support of Nico’s identity, and possibly even be someone Nico could look up to for being confident in who they are. On top of that, Whit greatly values privacy, and thus wouldn’t go around immediately shouting, “wow, Nico, it’s so awesome that you’re nonbinary!” He’d only do that if Nico wanted him to, after asking them first. I’m not even sure if Whit would contact Nico about it directly, but even if he didn’t, I feel like Whit would try to find ways to subtly encourage Nico so that they would feel safe coming out themselves. At least, that’s what my bias is telling me.

As a side note, I’m still playing with the rule that Arei sees whatever Whit’s secret is over his shoulder, which is actually what gave Nico’s secret the nod here over Eden’s. We saw that Ace, along with some others, were confused about what exactly the text of Nico’s secret meant. Meanwhile, if attached to Eden, her secret is pretty explicitly about her being sexually attracted to women, and therefore homosexual. I’m not at all calling Arei homophobic (in fact, the concept of doing so makes me very uncomfortable, so please don’t joke about it), but given that the two had been fighting beforehand, it’s possible that Arei would have tried to use the content of Eden’s secret against her somehow (but again, not in a homophobic way).

At the very least, Arei would know something about Eden that Eden might not want her to know, which is bad. I’m not sure if Arei would inherently understand Nico’s secret enough to gain anything of use from it, while Whit and his intuition would definitely understand what’s going on.

“Min” receives Teruko’s secret

Here we go; our other throwaway secret! Part of the appeal of leaving this one in the dark is because… well, we don’t know if it’s true. While the secret doesn’t explicitly state that its owner is the mastermind of the killing game, it’s definitely designed to make you think that’s the case. And, uh, I don’t know if Teruko is the mastermind or not. I recently wrote 1000 words about it, which is equal to one picture.

So, let’s explore both avenues. If Teruko isn’t the mastermind, then sharing this secret around is obviously bad. It would cause people to unwarrantedly distrust Teruko, and possibly even cause Teruko to distrust herself. That could impede the progress of Class Trials, if people don’t trust Teruko’s reasoning anymore, and the progress of deducing the actual mastermind. Therefore, by taking this secret out of circulation, we stop the misinformation from spreading.

Alternatively, if Teruko is the (evil) mastermind, then… aren’t I doing a disservice by not allowing the students to encounter this information? Well, yes, and no. I am preventing them from accessing the deus ex machina of David just outright saying, “oh, and by the way, Teruko is the mastermind!”; that much is true. But, by leaving that information out… aren’t I just leaving them in the same position that most killing game casts are in? They know that one of them is the mastermind, they just don’t know who. And, actually, they have a leg up on the other casts because the mastermind’s identity would still be a logically deducible fact that they could basically confirm if they all worked together. I don’t think it’s too much of a blow to the innocent students if we leave this one out, is what I’m saying.

So, that’s the good ending! A quick graphic to show how everything shook out:

(I swear, I didn’t mean to make it look like Whit was laughing at Nico’s identity. I just reused the sprites from my archetype analysis because I was too lazy to go get new ones…)

Now, on to the bad ending. This one was a lot harder to assign. Given that these secrets were meant to sow discord, there are only so many ways that things can play out well. There are lots of ways that things can play out poorly.

But, hopefully I’ve found the aggregate worst answer! Given that this is, you know… the one where things go horribly wrong, things may get pretty dark in this section, so proceed with caution. Nobody’s going to die or anything like that, but know that your faves may not be depicted in the most positive light in this section. Grab something comforting and put on some happy music, or lean hard into the angst, ‘cause we’re about to get started.

The Bad Timeline

Ace receives Levi’s secret

Look. I 100% agree that the whole Ace/Nico situation is a Major Yikes Situation /pos. However, I’m hopeful (in the sense of trying to craft the worst possible outcome) that we could still get a More or Less Yikes Situation even without the pair obtaining each others’ secrets.

Although Ace revealing that he was in possession of Nico’s secret closely preceded Nico’s death threat, that wasn’t actually what specifically led Nico to intimidate Ace. It was Ace’s comment that Nico was such a weakling that they could only solve their problems by getting people like David to help them, as well as the culmination of several days of Ace’s torment beginning in Chapter 1, which led them to do it. What I’m saying is, Ace and Nico were already rivals before the secrets even came out, so even without the direct connection to one another via the motive, it’s possible the high tensions would still cause similar events to unfold.

All that preamble hopefully helps to justify my choice to put Ace on Levi’s secret, because, my god, you can open a whole other can of worms with this one. Ace gaining the knowledge that Levi is a killer without remorse the day after Levi threatened to kill him would freak Ace out like nothing else. Being as loud as he is, I would think that Ace wouldn’t be able to stop himself from sharing this one with the class, starting a conflict right from the start.

While do I think the other students would believe Ace in the end– especially if he showed them the paper on which Levi’s name was printed– I also think that some people might doubt Ace’s words at first, thinking he’s overexaggerating as usual. However, that moment of being Boy Who Cried Wolf-ed by everyone else would also really fuck with Ace. He’s literally right, and has the paperwork to prove it, and yet people are still disinclined to believe him because they see him as a fool. It would draw an even deeper wedge between Ace and his classmates than we saw in canon.

Tying back around to the beginning, I think that this extra layer of powerlessness would just make Ace even more inclined to seek out a feeling of power elsewhere. So, I’m thinking that would still result in Ace bullying Nico, and, assuming he still keeps it up for long enough and calls Nico a weakling, we might be able to loop back around to Nico’s death threat anyway. Major Yikes Situation not averted!

Veronika receives David’s secret

Here’s a chaotic choice. Given how open-ended and accusatory David’s secret is, I definitely think it’s one that Veronika would have chosen not to reveal. However, just because she doesn’t want to reveal it doesn’t mean that the information won’t get out… in a way.

We’ve seen time and time again that Veronika is fascinated with morally questionable people, first with Arturo and later David himself once she knew about his secret. Therefore, if she knew about David’s secret from the start, I don’t think she would be able to stop herself from following him around and making some clever comments here and there. Can you imagine how concerning it would be to watch David try to give hope speeches and guide people while Veronika is peering over his shoulder and grinning at him, refusing to elaborate?

It would definitely be worrying, but I don’t think it would fully stop everyone from listening to him– but in this case, that’s a good thing! David’s tactics wound up causing more harm than good, so it was important for me to give his secret to someone who wouldn’t call him out immediately and stop him from enacting these bad policies. Veronika is a great choice for allowing that to happen, but also causing a lot of stress and doubt speculating as to what exactly Veronika could know about David that would make her act this way. Honestly, it might be the worst for David himself…

Levi receives Ace’s secret

This one isn’t that terrible on its own, but in the context of Ace also having Levi’s secret, I think it gets pretty hairy. I can’t really see any scenario where Levi knowing Ace’s greatest secret goes over well for them. If Ace blows up at Levi right out the gate, there’s a definite possibility that Levi can’t keep his cool and winds up firing off Ace’s secret in front of everyone else as retaliation. Betraying Ace’s trust like that (even if Ace was the one to mouth off first) would make their relationship even more unsalvageable.

Even if Levi did manage to keep his mouth shut, knowing Ace’s secret would just generally make it harder for Levi to talk to Ace when explaining himself or trying to make amends. Like I discussed with Hu in the good timeline, there’s a lot you can learn about Ace in the contents of his secret and the way it’s phrased. I feel like Levi would be able to pick up on some of that knowledge, but he would then find it even harder to interact with Ace without accidentally spilling the beans on some of that newfound understanding. This secret shuffle would make their relationship basically irreparable in my opinion, and the increased frustrations from both boys might make one of their tempers flare and lead them to do something inadvisable.

“Xander” receives Eden’s secret

First of all, giving “Xander” this one means there’s one less problematic person who could draw a relatively harmless secret, which is a pro in this scenario. Leaving this secret unconfirmed could also cause problems in a Class Trial. Given that this secret doesn’t include murder, blackmail, manipulation, etc, it’s a pretty nice secret to claim for yourself, even if it can basically only be claimed by one of the girls. This means that, even if Eden tried to be truthful about her secret, people might believe that she’s lying.

Furthermore, the DRDT cast seems to be a pretty queer group of people overall. 6/15 of the non-Edens are confirmed LGBTQ+ themselves (even if not all of them are out), and everyone has treated Nico and Whit’s identities with respect since learning about them. Canonically, I would say that Eden has nothing to worry about with regards to the other girls treating her differently for being a lesbian.

So, by making Eden’s secret far less accessible, it becomes less likely that she’ll ever get that moment of recognition and affirmation. Instead, as Eden’s secret remains hidden and irrelevant, it becomes easier for her to stick to what she knows is safe. An accepting environment was right there in front of her, but with the convenience of periphery, she might not ever see it.

Arturo receives J’s secret

Yeah, I agree with you on this one– J truly did roll a crit fail. I did consider giving J’s secret to someone else, as long as they would definitely publicly spill the beans, if it meant that Arturo could learn the content of J’s secret while receiving an additional bad secret as well. However, I couldn’t think of anyone who would be so guaranteed to tell everyone about J’s secret that I could be confident Arturo would hear of it, nor could I think of any particularly catastrophic secrets I’d rather give to Arturo. So, this one stays. J really is living in the worst timeline already– like if you cry every time.

Hu receives Arei’s secret

Hu was a tough nut to crack, because I think the ideal bad situation for her is that she gets a secret that’s problematic enough that it would cause major issues if news broke, but not so problematic that she wouldn’t be willing to share it as a part of David’s “let’s tell each other about our secrets” plan. Operating under the logic that the mention of self harm was the reason why she wasn’t willing to share the secret she got in canon, 3/15 options immediately disappear. More options vanish when you start eliminating not-super-problematic secrets like Xander's family, Charles’ brother, or Rose’s debt.

After some consideration, I landed on Arei’s being the best balance of thorny and not. It’s a secret that discusses a serious crime without incorporating murder, and there’s lots of room for public interpretation that could cause things to go really poorly for Arei if folks jump to conclusions. Given that Hu already didn’t super like Arei (I’m basing this off of her chastising Arei for bullying Eden), I could totally see her being willing to share this secret publicly in order to help everyone see that Arei is someone not to be trusted.

Making Arei’s secret publicly aired also removes the very important aspect of Arei’s agency that I wrote on in the good section. If Hu is sharing this secret, it’s probably pretty early in the chapter, which means that Arei might not be prepared whenever the news drops. The context of the secret sharing doesn’t involve Eden at all, so Arei might have a harder time putting two and two together about why she acts the way she does and how she wants to change. Not to mention, if Hu shares the secret in a way that directly agrees with David’s scheme, it automatically pits David against Arei, which means that he can’t offer her any help (to the extent that what he said helped her canonically). It’s just bad all around. But that’s why I’ve come to feel pretty confident in this choice.

Rose receives Min’s secret

Following up on Rose’s last entry, this is not one of the secrets that the rest of the students could either easily deduce or ignore. It would be very easy to assume that the owner of the poison secret was a murderer– possibly a mass murderer, and even one who didn't regret what they did. Even if poison wasn’t used in the Chapter 2 murder, people might suspect this person of being the killer, and/or it could throw suspicion on Charles as the only one (who we know of) who has a poisonous custom weapon.

Now, obviously, this secret did not cause much of a scene in the canonical Chapter 2 trial, but I think at least part of that is because it was Xander’s. Everyone knows that the person who has that secret can only be determined by process of elimination no matter who they ask. The same would be true if it were the secret Rose got, but people might grow upset that Rose threw away such a valuable piece of evidence. And, with Min incapable of claiming her secret, it might appear even more that someone was trying to hide something when nobody spoke up to claim it. It’s not much, but Rose made it difficult to come up with something bad.

Teruko receives Xander’s secret

Funnily enough, the logic behind me giving Xander’s secret to Teruko is quite similar to the logic behind me giving it to David. Much like how David would be taken out of commission by reading this secret, I think that Teruko would act the same– it would just be worse for her and the group as a whole.

Like I said for David, Xander’s secret paints him out as a tragic hero. He loved his family to pieces, and regrets their passing so much that he wishes he could have died with them. Even though it was textually not his fault, Xander still beats himself up every day for not being around to do the right thing and save people when it counted. …What does it mean that the guy with this secret was the one who felt he had to kill Teruko for the greater good?!

Reading Xander’s secret would only pull Teruko deeper into anger, self-hatred, and confusion. She was already pretty off kilter in this Chapter from trying to ignore her mixed emotions regarding Xander, and I think that having to relive her trauma and his betrayal any time someone brought up the mere concept of secrets would basically take her out of commission. I mean, check out how many times I was able to say the word secret in these three paragraphs alone. I don’t imagine Teruko would be able to fare much better in the hellish environment of this terrible swap, which might lead her to hole up in her room all day and grow increasingly bored and bitter.

Now, I’m not saying that Teruko needed to be up and at ‘em in the daily life because her running around and pressing knives to people’s throats was just so helpful. But at least, unlike David, she wasn’t actively making the situation worse. Her presence may have even made potential friends like Eden, Charles, or Rose feel better. At the very least, Teruko learned some key social context in the Chapter 2 daily life prior to the Trial, so removing Teruko from those interactions would make it much harder for her to fully grasp what was going on should she be forced to solve a murder once again.

Charles receives Whit’s secret

I agree with you here as well– Charles acquiring Whit’s secret is probably the worst case scenario for Whit. As one of two people who actually heard Whit talk about his mom in Chapter 1, Charles is one of the only people who would know that Whit doesn’t just “omit that truth” by not talking about his mom, he actively talks about her like she is alive. This would raise a very big question for Charles at a crucial point in their friendship. Charles has just come to start trusting this guy, so what do you mean he was lying about something so odd…?

There’s a chance that the reveal of this concealment of the truth would cause Charles to determine that he couldn’t trust Whit anymore, and it would drive them apart. But, I think that’s pretty unlikely. More likely is the option where Charles (who’s in a fragile state from his meltdown yesterday and only JUST started learning how to be a good friend) tries to question Whit about it, only for Whit to panic. I don’t really think that Whit would try to keep the ruse going, seeing as Charles literally has the answer right in front of him, but he still might be full of deflections, or try to avoid the subject with jokes. (“Huh? No, I totally said that my mom passed away a few years ago! You must’ve just not heard me– did you fling some detergent into your ears with that laundry machine?”)

I’m not sure if this distribution of secrets would fully split them up, but it would definitely cause a rift in their conversation and bonding that might stop Charles and Whit from growing as close as they did. And, all this isn’t even taking into account that–

Whit receives Charles’ secret

Did you ever notice that Whit and Charles’ secrets are both about a hidden dead relative? I didn’t put two and two together until now, but boy does it work out poorly for purposes of this AU.

Much like Levi with Ace’s secret, I don’t think this is an inherently bad draw for Whit, but it kinda sucks in this context. Whit gets placed into a really weird trolley problem: do you tell and comfort Charles about his dead brother when it’ll definitely segue into discussions of your own dead mom, or do you keep it hidden, not helping Charles and leaving yourself open to the possibility of him feeling betrayed later that you kept this secret from him? It’s these kinds of questions that Whit would be forced to ask himself in the moment that Charles first confronts him, and the time needed to process would only throw him off his game and make him appear more suspicious to Charles.

To be fair, a lot of this does depend on how deep in the lie Whit is. Is he usually pretty quick to admit that his mom is dead to anyone who digs deeper into the issue, or has he been lying about his mom’s status to everyone, his father included? If it’s more like the former, then maybe the two of them could actually come to bond over the tragedy of losing someone you care about. But, if it’s more like the latter, then this distribution of secrets could get in the way of one of the (seemingly) most stable and healthy relationships in the killing game.

Arei receives Arturo’s secret

At first, I actually considered giving Arturo’s secret to Arei in the good universe, because I thought that Arei could understand having complicated relationships with your sisters. But then I remembered something critically important. Arei herself is the younger sister. She wouldn’t relate to Arturo; she would relate to Felicity. And then, all hell would break loose.

Arei knows what it’s like to be a younger sister who, even if she never considered it herself, had other people try to pressure her into committing suicide. So, to have a younger sister lucky enough to actually have a big brother she cared about, only for him to leave her alone and cause her death? Arei would be furious. She would absolutely call him out for it immediately, and use all of the bullying tactics she learned to make his life a living hell.

Despite all that I wrote about what Hu would do with Arei’s secret, I don’t actually know if Hu would be more or less likely to share Arei’s secret if Arei was acting this way. Would Hu take it upon herself to join in shaming Arturo for his actions, or feel that Arei was being a hypocrite and want to share Arei’s own truth? Either way, with both of these secrets, I think that the option of Arei’s character growing at all (or becoming friends with Eden) any time soon is pretty much dead.

And then there’s Arturo himself. While we’ve seen that Arturo does genuinely seem remorseful and haunted by Felicity’s death, I doubt Arei would know or care. I also totally think that J would join Arei in absolutely demolishing the man. Having Arei’s offense be backed by the Julia Rosales might just break him. Whether it would be in a victim way or a killer way I’m not sure, but it would definitely be bad for funni beauty standards man. The good news is that it might stop Arei from dying…? Unless Arturo just decided to kill her. There really isn’t a lot of good news.

David receives Veronika’s secret

Alright, back to David and Veronika. This is the third time I’ve had two people just swap their secrets, I guess? And, it’s kinda for the same reasons again. If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it!

Since we’ve been through a lot since we last discussed this pair, let’s get a quick recap: Veronika knows that David is a manipulative bastard, but won’t tell anyone that yet because she thinks it’ll be more interesting if she keeps her mouth shut. Thus, everyone is kind of wary of David, and David is definitely wary of Veronika, but not so much that it stops David from doing his information-seeking “let’s all share our secrets” plan.

I think that learning this about Veronika would make David pretty confused, very concerned, and extra conscious of Veronika in a way that would be hard to conceal. He could probably guess from the way Veronika was acting that she had some kind of dirt on him, and therefore conclude that, if he ever tried to share her secret, she might just fire back at him. David does not want that. So, the two of them remain at an uneasy stalemate that would make everyone else increasingly troubled.

Furthermore, I think that Veronika’s secret is a good balance of an unexpected yet potentially relevant piece of information about a living student that David would want to seek more of, while also not being so grim that it would appeal to whatever morals David may have. (Don’t get me wrong, Veronika’s secret is very worrying and tragic, but at least the inclusion of “for fun” makes it less grim than Arturo’s or Hu’s, to me.) David would be inclined to continue on his quest of acquiring the most knowledge-as-power as possible, and Veronika would be thrilled to watch! Both of them would just be giving off… really weird vibes about it.

Nico receives Hu’s secret

(extra suicide TW just in case)

If I say anything offensive or incorrect in this section, I deeply apologize. I don’t mean to portray either of these characters, their issues, or people who relate to them or their issues in a bad light, and I definitely don’t mean to demonize mentally ill people. The reasoning behind why I think it would be bad for Nico to get Hu’s secret is complicated, and may be based on uninformed thoughts or unfounded projections. However, based on what I do “know,” I think it makes sense, so I’ll try to explain myself as best I can.

Basically, I think that receiving Hu’s secret would be bad for Nico because it might make Nico less likely to speak up for themselves when Hu talks over them. If I were Nico, I might be worried about reacting too strongly to what Hu is doing, and accidentally sending her back into the hopeless state of her childhood. Just interacting with Hu in general might lead someone (like David) to start questioning Nico about the secret they received, and cause the information to accidentally leak out. It would make Nico saying anything on how Hu was acting difficult.

Again, I am not trying to villainize Hu, or mandate that you have to walk on eggshells around suicidal people because they’re loose cannons or whatever. I just think that, especially for someone as uncomfortable with socialization with Nico, navigating the sensitive subject of past suicide attempts in this incredibly hostile bad AU environment might prevent them from speaking up for themselves when they’re feeling belittled. And, that would be bad for their personal development.

I wish we could move on to something happier to combat these bad vibes, but unfortunately, we still have a couple more to go.

“Min” receives Rose’s secret

Well, at least we can cool down a little bit with this one. Not a ton going on here; basically just that Rose’s secret is pretty lowkey and I could cause more damage with other secrets elsewhere. I don’t think it would cause a particular stir with either other students becoming paranoid or Rose’s characterization and growth. I suppose that, without the excuse of being able to explain her past, Rose probably wouldn’t have had that chance to vent to Teruko, which was probably a good experience for her? The conflict-avoidant Rose will be suffering enough with all the turmoil going on around her, methinks.

Eden receives Nico’s secret

Make no mistake, this is not a decision made to hurt Nico. It’s meant to hurt Eden. With her compassionate heart and non-judgmental attitude, Eden is a great draw for any secret-holder to have in order to not cause trouble. That’s why I thought that the best move here was to use the secret as an offensive weapon to lessen her impact, as well as preventing a more problematic secret from being absorbed into her positive vibes.

Eden’s greatest secret is that she’s a lesbian, and she fears that people will come to hate her or discriminate against her if they find out about her identity. Therefore, the worst thing to do to her is to affirm those fears by shoving the homophobia someone else suffered in her face. Learning that Nico was mocked for their identity would make Eden less confident in hers, and might dampen her spirit enough that some of the good effects of her optimism are negated. She might become more hesitant to discuss secrets and more fearful of her peers, knowing that one of them probably knows about her identity and could use it against her at any time. Little does she know, it’s actually in the morgue alongside the Ultimate Rebel.

But, the fact that is just further feeds into my idea from Xander’s section. If Eden has just been reminded of how cruel the world can be to LGBTQ+ people, she wouldn’t be jumping at the opportunity to reveal which secret was hers. This would 1) allow another troublemaker to perhaps successfully claim it as their own, 2) make Eden look suspicious as she tries to come up with a solid lie of her own, and 3) postpone or deny (if Eden dies on a short timeframe) Eden’s ability to feel comfortable in herself.

Also (not to say that David forcing Nico to share their secret was a good thing), if Nico’s secret never becomes available to the public, they might have to go through the rest of their time in the killing game getting misgendered. Diversity loss!

J receives Teruko’s secret

J could stay quiet for a lot of things, but I feel like if she knew who the mastermind was (assuming she doesn’t know that she herself is the mastermind), that’s something she wouldn’t stay quiet about. I think that J at least wanted to see Teruko as her friend, given that she approached Teruko on the day she tested out her universal remote and roped Teruko in as part of her plan to get away from Arturo. Teruko double-crossing J by “being the mastermind” would, I think, be enough of a betrayal that J would set out seeking answers. Publicly.

Teruko, having just seen Xander’s secret, is also in a terrible mood, meaning that her ability to defend herself against J’s accusations and keep a cool head would be lessened, and possibly devolve into a screaming match. This would send the students down the incorrect(?) path as to the mastermind’s identity, further encourage Teruko to distance herself from everyone else, and cause J to lose faith in one of the few people she liked just before Arturo starts to get on her ass. Needless to say, the group would be in shambles.

That was rough, but we’re finally done. Let’s take a look at how things shook out.

(Once again, I really didn’t mean to make it look like Whit was laughing at Charles’ dead brother? A little treat for everyone who believes Whit is evil, I suppose.)

Blech. Even though torturing characters can be fun sometimes, speculating about the worst case scenario isn’t usually the kind of energy that I like to bring to this blog. Hopefully I was able to deliver something satisfactorily devastating, though!

As a final note, assigning all these secrets to everyone did get me thinking a little about what would have happened in this chapter if the motive had gone as planned, and everyone had gotten their own secrets. While it obviously wouldn’t have been as good as the good universe, I do think that people learning of their own secrets is a lot better than many of the bad scenarios that could have been created with a shuffle. Charles and Teruko definitely would have been a bit thrown, but at least in Charles’ case, I don’t know if it would have resulted in murder.

In my opinion, I think it’s probably most likely that David or Nico would have killed? David obviously cares a lot about his career and the prospect of his secret being shared with the world, so he could have tried to ride his good social graces and fake “family history of depression” secret to a Class Trial clear. Nico also has a lot to worry about with their secret getting out, and, already facing pressure from Ace’s bullying, it’s possible they would have made the same decision to kill Ace if Ace’s harassment continued. I suppose this is a question I can ask back at ya, Gremlyn, if you feel inclined to answer! :D And, thank you for the ask. Even if it got a little bleak, I had fun with it.

Stay safe and happy out there, everyone, and make sure your deepest, darkest secret doesn’t get handed to your worst enemy. Or really, just try to avoid entering a killing game at all. Until next time~