#of course it backfires 100% of the times

[mellosdrawings]

He's not the sharpest tool in the shed.

[tanglepelt]

Dc x dp idea 100

John likes to trick beings to getting himself a good deal and screwing the entities over. So he does this with the new ghost king.

He somehow worded the deal to keep the king in his home realm. You know to keep Danny in the infinite realm unable to attack the earthly realm.

This backfires. And backfires hard. Danny’s home realm is still the earthly one. All John did was not let him back into the realm.

Danny is thrilled. And living his best life. No more council meetings, the paperwork is stuck in the keep, the Observants can’t force him to do kingly duties and above all else. He is passing all of his classes. Scheduled fights with his rogues help as well.

John. Well he’s not having a good time. The Observants are screaming at him, the new king is stuck in earth who knows what he is up to, and he’s had visits from all of Danny’s ghost guardians to yell at him.

John has to break the deal.

Danny doesn’t want to.

When Danny eventually agrees to discuss it. He shows up with a ghost lawyer, sam, and Jazz all in order to secure Danny a good deal. Maybe tucker as well.

Danny wants at least rated M and movie tickets for him and his friends for life, and of course Martian manhunters autograph.

Jazz wants him to get a guarantee that they would leave him alone.

Sam wants them to guarantee ghost protection and end the Giw.

[married-to-google-translater]

I know Halloween is VERY far, but I thought this was too funny not to tell you (Especially since it’s based around my 2 Husbands!)

Reader dresses as the Ghost Bride (Princess Eliza) and sneaks into Ignihyde/Diasomnia with the help of Ortho/Lilia to prank their Housewarden

She sneaks into their rooms and wakes them up asking them to ‘Marry me’

You know what Idia will do (Scream and run away, only to later realize his crush basically ASKED him for marriage, but his charisma/social bar is too low for him to say yes!)

…But it just backfires on Malleus as he’s just smiling in pure joy as he takes out a little checklist VOLUME BOOKS on his ideas for the perfect wedding but he’s very flexible to talk about compromises to make a perfect wedding! 🤣

Why do you think?

No worrys <3 No worrys <3 You aren't late at all~~ just little early ;3

Malleus Draconia

You and Malleus were good "friends".

You really wanted more.

And you thought this would be the best way to tell him.

You thought it really wouldn't be that big of a deal.

Because Malleus teleported to your room at random times for reasons that were a complete mystery to you.

The plan was perfect.

But you'd have to ask Lilia for help.

Because otherwise a loud crocodile could ruin your plan.

Lilia would help you into the Diasomnia dormitory.

And he would also tell you where the Malleus room is.

You kept waiting for Sebek to jump around the corner and start yelling something.

However, that doesn't happen.

You finally made it safely to the Malleus room.

He would look hot AF when he was asleep.

You almost feel bad waking him up for this.

ALMOST

Malleus would be really confused at first.

It would take him a moment to register what you were saying.

But when he did…

Malleus would be really happy.

He would have waited a very long time for this.

Malleus would surely have whole novels written about your wedding plans

Btw you guys are getting married now.

Oooh was that just a joke?

Yeaaaaah too bad.

You asked and Malleus answered in the affirmative.

" Oh Mc I'm so happy. I say yes. We will get married as soon as possible. Oh Mc I love you so much. * takes out the 1000-page Novel * So I've already made some wedding plans. "

Idia Shourd

You and Idia were friends.

You had met through the internet.

And your friendship was going well.

But you wanted a little more.

You really wouldn't know how to confess your feelings to Idia.

It felt like you were too shy and boring.

So you decided to talk to Ortho about it.

And together you came up with this idea.

Because that would be a little fun.

Ortho helped you get into the dorm.

And finding his room wasn't difficult.

Of course, Idia wouldn't be sleeping.

Even if it's 1:00 AM.

Sleep rhythm pfffffffft who needs that?

Idia is surprisingly moody

Most likely, Idia would be watching anime or playing something when you sneaked into his room.

He would 100% have a heart attack if he thought you were Eliza…

When he realizes that you are not Eliza he would calm down.

Just so you could have another heart attack because you're in his room.

And did you just ask him to marry you?

Idia wouldn't really know how to handle this information.

Idia.exe has stopped working.

He really doesn't know what to say.

Maybe in a couple of hours he will get his thoughts in order.

[peachsayshi]

peach u should absolutely 100% share that nanami thought

˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ sugar daddy!nanami x babysitter!fem reader ˚₊· ͟͟͞͞➳❥ minors/ageless/blank blogs dni (this blog is 20+ of follows)

➳ tags: single dad nanami; porn with little plot; nipple play; pussy drunk nanamin; oral (female receiving); overstimulation; squirting; mentions of cum; dirty talk ➳ n: don't ask about my mental state when I wrote this.

nanami hasn't been intimate with a woman in two and half years. so, of course, he can’t help but be in a constant state of heat when he’s around you in such close quarters. his last relationship was serious enough for him to invest in an engagement ring, but a surprise pregnancy ultimately turned his life upside down. one minute he was ready to start a family, and the next he found himself abandoned by his partner who left him to raise his son all by himself.

nanami didn't have time to process the devastation of that experience with a toddler to worry about. instead, he buried himself in his work and channeled all his focus on raising yuji. he absolutely adored being a father to his bubbly little boy, but he knew that he couldn't keep relying on his parents to take on the extra pressure as he juggled between his very successful career and fatherhood.

you were a part time babysitter, but a godsend to nanami.

hiring you proved to be the best kind of luxury he could afford, and the man was finally able to acknowledge that he was spreading himself far too thin. with you around, he managed to catch his breath for the first time in two years and the cherry on top was that yuji absolutely adored you.

of course, the arrangement worked out both ways.

you were strapped for cash after paying off your loans, and with the cost of living skyrocketing in the last couple of years, you knew you needed to take on a second job just to make ends meet. not only was nanami the sweetest employer, but he offered you a very generous salary.

the man isn't shy to admit that you brought a little light back into his life, as well as some peace and much needed quiet.

he found himself having more alone time during the weekends, especially on saturdays when yuji would stay by his grandparents and you were off from work.

that's when it dawned on him just how lonely he'd been all these years. he shouldn’t have been surprised that his dormant sexual appetite emerged once you came into the picture, and that he regularly began touching himself with the thought of fucking you in every position imaginable.

after one of his solo sessions, when your name escaped him in a broken grunt as he came all over his palm, a bold proposition crossed his mind…

…you've been doing such an amazing job with yuji, why not help fulfill his needs to?

he knew how much this could backfire if things turned sour, but nanami was also aware of your financial circumstances and decided that the risk was worth taking.

he treated the conversation professionally; along with a monthly salary, he offered to cover any and all of your expenses in exchange for you quitting your job and working exclusively for him.

he had "new terms" in regards to your position. you would continue taking care of yuji as usual, but every saturday would be dedicated to having scheduled "dates" with nanami. he was expecting a companionship, preferably one that was physical, but he wasn’t going to force you with anything you were uncomfortable with. you were to join him on any work or family trips, but he reassured you that you were allowed to take any personal breaks and holidays as you saw fit. he would be flexible with you just as long as you stick to the demands of the contract he drafted.

“can I think about it?” you asked him a little breathlessly, your cheeks scorching hot as you clenched your thighs tightly together in your seat.

“take whatever time you need,” he politely replied. “I want you to think it through”

- ♡ -

this pretty cupless corset top with the matching lace thong is the most expensive present you’ve ever received. the detail on the set itself is stunning, molding around your body like a piece of art. your skin is the canvas beneath the see through material, showing off the printed panels and lacy embroidered detailing.

nanami handed you the present just the night before as he walked you out the door.

“wear this tomorrow,” he whispered in your ear, smirking with amusement and anticipation.

you feel so exposed with your tits exposed out like this, hard nipples poking against the air as you watch your employer wrap his mouth over one of the tender buds.

you hiss as he swipes his tongue along the peak, nipping at the tip with his teeth before sucking gently. your thighs were still trembling from the orgasm he just delivered from this act alone, and you can feel your arousal stick to your inner thighs as it soaked through your underwear.

“ah-ah!” you whine, your lashes fluttering close as you arch your hips lightly against his pelvis. “nanami-san…”

it’s strange hearing yourself call out his name this way, the tone unfamiliar and foreign to your ears.

those strong, beautiful hands leave your waist and travel to your breasts. nanami squeezes your tits and drags his thumbs over the taut peaks as he places a kiss along the boning of your corset.

“I'd rather be inside you, but I haven’t tasted pussy in ages…” he admits shyly against your ribs, his mouth traveling further down to the space between your legs.

your thighs nearly snap close, but he sternly pinches your nipples to keep them spread.

“Such a pretty thing, I bet you taste like heaven ...” he contemplates, nuzzling his nose into your clothed crotch and breathing in the scent of your arousal. he swipes his tongue over the soaked material, his brown eyes turning hazy as he glances up at you from between your legs, "mmm, you really fucking do..."

your spine quivers from the vibration of his deep voice, and his vulgar choice of words. nanami releases his hands from your chest and proceeds to tug your underwear to the side while keeping one thigh nice and open for him.

he licks his lips at the dewy wet mess and groans.

"fuck, I could cum just looking you."

he places featherlight kisses over your clit, one after the other, until you sigh dreamily as your head fall backs against the pillow. he keeps you spread while his tongue massages over the sensitive button and parts your folds. he slurps, nips, and kisses to his heart's content - the tension knitting the front of his brows together from how your pussy intoxicates him.

he draws out another orgasm, his hand kneading your shaking thigh as your essence coats the lower have of his face. he can feel himself leaking through his boxers, so he ruts against the mattress to give himself some relief.

he moves to focus on just your clit, making noises as he lewdly sucks on the bud. his other hand finds your dripping hole, and he manages to slip two fingers inside with ease. he brushes his digits upward, the pads stroking over your gummy walls and turning your sensual moans into desperate little whimpers.

the pressure is unbearable; the tight coil around abandon an ache that you can't even stand. your hand threads between his golden strands, your manicured nails digging into his scalp which eggs him on even further. your eyes roll to the back of your head, your jaw goes slack when he touches just the right spot that has tears of relief falling down your cheeks.

your body spasms when your third orgasm trickles through you in an eruption, a gush squirting from between your legs and painting nanami's hand, forearm and neck.

"good girl," he grunts as he peppers kisses over your pubis and along your hip.

you're trembling as you readjust your position to sit up again. nanami finally shifts his body to sit upright, his knees on either side of your thighs. he pulls his dick out of his boxers and starts stroking his thick, veiny cock. you're panting to catch your breath, mouth slightly dry at the sight of the bulbous head.

"s-shit, I can't h-hold off any longer," he admits with a shaky voice, his heavy eyes locking on yours as he continues jacking off. "gonna have to cum on those beautiful tits, darling..."

you sheepishly reach one hand to tweak at your nipple to provoke him, "do whatever you want with me, I'm yours."

your sensual delivery tips him over the edge and with just a couple more strokes, he finally reaches his climax and shoots white ropes all over your chest.

you crawl up his body as he comes down from his high, wrapping your arms around his neck and pressing your tainted chest against his own strong torso. you brush your finger over his undercut, leaving a kiss along his jaw before murmuring against his lip: "was that good for you, nanami san?"

he grins as he reaches to grip the flesh of your rear, his lips closing the gap of space where he steals a messy, open mouthed kiss. "better than I expected, " he reassures as he nips at your bottom lip, careful not to confess that he's pined for this moment night after night.

[utilitycaster]

Do you get the impression CR has been subtly trying to tamp down speculation C3 is the last campaign lately?

No, I do not.

I'm guessing this was prompted by the WE'RE JUST GETTING STARTED video but that just tells us that they have ongoing production plans going into 2025, which, we knew, because if nothing else the Mighty Nein animated series is still in production. They will still exist as a production company that puts out new stuff long after they stop running longform campaigns.

I want to stress that what I'm about to say is not directed specifically at you but at the fandom at large based on some patterns I've seen - this ask felt like a good opportunity to do so because it touches on some of those patterns but please understand I'm not holding you accountable for all of this; I just use anon asks as this sort of jumping off point sometimes.

I think the cast overall cares WAYYYYYYY less about what the fandom is doing and saying than much of the fandom thinks they do. I think most of them are barely aware of what the fandom is doing and saying. When they do know and care, they are not shy about saying when they think the fandom did something they think is obnoxious (Bowlgate freakouts, sharing Braius's original backstory, thinking Orym or Ashton should have stopped Laudna; or on a more serious level, Liam and Marisha both did a lot of damage control after Molly's death when people were being hostile towards Matt and Ashly Burch and told those people to cut it out and be nice to their guests.)

I've gotten a few questions about whether I think C3 is the last campaign, and my genuine answer is I feel less certain it is than I was before, but as I have zero insight into the CR cast's discussions or priorities or production plans, this means literally nothing, because I was guessing wildly then and I'm guessing wildly now. (I'm pretty solid on making narratively-based guesses but that goes out the window when it comes to production decisions). But also I saw a poll yesterday on whether this is the last campaign, and like. Look. Someone asked me towards the end of Campaign 2 if this was the end of Campaign 2 and I was like "Surely not! We still have Molaesmyr!" and then Campaign 2 ended like 3 episodes later. It's normal and understandable to try to say "but we'll get more, right? RIGHT?" and I've done so myself, but that poll could get a 100% response rate of "OF COURSE THERE'S A CAMPAIGN 4!" and then 5 months from now we could get an announcement that C3 was the last longform campaign, because no one answering that poll knows the answer. It's very normal to want an answer and to hope for more campaigns - I would be thrilled with a Campaign 4 - but literally we don't know. It's entirely possible the cast is still deciding; and if they have, this is probably information that only the company and like, their immediate circle of friends know, if that.

It's literally impossible to shut down speculation, and even subtle attempts to do so are likely to backfire. Without going on a rant about one of my most deeply felt subjects, while fandom is a great place in which I've met many wonderful people, it is also fertile breeding grounds for conspiracy theories, a thing I loathe with every fiber of my being. Again, I think that the cast could run a QA panel in which every single cast member said in unison "The canon ships in TLOVM are Vax and Keyleth; Vex and Percy; and Pike and Scanlan" and someone would be like "well, I saw Taliesin in the bathroom two hours later and he took precisely 47 seconds to wash his hands and from this I can conclude PERCY AND VAX REAL." And from what I understand regarding anime fandom it's about a million times worse, which is to say, I think the cast knows that and knows to just not bring up a Campaign 4 until they're good and ready and to let the fandom do what they will.

tl;dr the cast cares way less about what any of us think than many of us think; you will almost certainly not find out if there's a campaign 4 and what system it is in until the cast announces it; and the thing about wild speculation is that there exist people who will straight up ignore direct unambiguous statements in order to persist in their own personal alternate reality.

[funniestbitchinfaerun]

Halsin Gives a Five-Star Review

Soooooo... a while back I promised to write something relating to this interaction as a reward/punishment for getting 100 followers on this blog....

and after an exhausting couple of weeks at work I have FINALLY produced something! featuring two best boys (Halsin and Thaniel) discussing one best girl (my tav Kestrel, Selune's okayest soldier).

---

It was probably wishful thinking on Halsin’s part, but the shadows seemed lesser somehow, as though they knew they would soon be gone. There was still much to do, but for the first time in countless years, he felt a glimmer of hope.

Beside him, a small not-quite-child stirred and stretched, awkwardly pulling himself up into a sitting position. Dark green eyes darted about the camp in suspicion.

“Am I awake?” Thaniel asked quietly.

“Awake, and in better health than I could have dreamed of. The Shadowfell is long behind you, I swear.” The boy still looked confused, and Halsin eyed him with concern. “What do you remember?”

Thaniel screwed up his eyes in concentration. “I remember…light. More light than I’d seen in a century. And then you, of course, and some woman with orangey hair, who cast a healing spell on us. Who was that?”

“Her name is Kestrel,” Halsin replied. Even saying her name sent a rush of warmth through his veins. “A cleric of Selûne, and a very brave soul. She and her friends risked their lives defending the portal I opened to save you.”

“Why?”

Why, indeed? The question had occurred to Halsin plenty of times, and he still wasn’t sure he had an answer. There were strategic reasons, of course–defeating Ketheric and ending the curse would make finding a cure that much easier–but none of them quite rang true.

“She helped,” he began slowly, “because she had to. Or rather, I don’t think she realized she could refuse. I’ve never seen her turn down a friend when they ask for help, no matter how badly it might backfire.”

A wry smile flickered across Thaniel’s face. “That reminds me of an old friend.”

“A flattering comparison, though perhaps giving me too much credit. She’s made more progress in a few days than I made in a hundred years, all while suffering from a deadly brain parasite.”

Thaniel tilted his head. “You love her,” he said simply.

Heat rushed to his cheeks, like some love-struck adolescent. “Well, of course I love her. She’s become a very dear friend.”

“That is not,” Thaniel said sternly, “what I meant.”

Halsin cast an instinctive glance toward the campfire, where Kestrel sat on a log next to Wyll, both of them giggling over a worn red-covered book. The firelight illuminated her autumn-leaf hair and lent a golden cast to her skin. Perhaps it was his desire-addled imagination, but she seemed to almost glow with warmth, like a living moon lantern. 

“No,” he said at last. “I suppose you’re right.”

[crazylittlejester]

Somehow I feel like Time/Mask is the kind of people that'll laugh at his traumatic/triggering stuff. I mean like, as a first response.

He absolutely do not to deal with it, and he won't have to if he can just laugh at it, right? No way it'll backfire. Besides what else is he gonna do, cry about it?

Of course, eventually comes a point where he can't laugh it off, then all the suppressed horror starts catching up with him and, yeah. Actions and consequences and horrors.

OH 100%. ABSOLUTELY AND FOR SURE. He absolutely makes jokes about shit as a way to cope

[syndrossi]

resonant ch32 dvd commentary

This chapter I rushed to get out on Thursday as I juggled Thanksgiving preparations (four pies! bad idea! remind me not to do this again!) and obligations. I wasn't entirely pleased with it--I didn't having pacing concerns like I did the previous chapter, there were just some rough patches in terms of prose/transitions.

Fortunately, I was able to give it a smoothing pass today and I'm much happier now, so let the DVD commentary commence!

Favorite line(s):

There is a man whose honor lives between his legs, Jon thought, and some of the sentiment must have made its way onto his face, because Cole’s smile turned narrow-eyed frown when they crossed gazes.

Jon throwing shade/judgment is always a joy, and I love the phrasing of his contempt here. 😂 He really just said "man thinks with his dick" but in a fancy way, and...that's Cole in a nutshell (pun intended).

The inside of the sept was hazy with burning incense, the light of the sun hitting the crystals of the windows and then scattering into the faint smoke above, turning it bright with beams of color.

As much as Jon dislikes the sept (and as rough as it is on Rhaegar being there), it's such a striking building to write about. There's some commentary to be had, perhaps, on how evoking a feeling of awe goes into designing a place of worship, and you can't deny the Faith is good at that much!

Favorite Details

Crown Prince Rhaegar

Jon’s sole source of amusement that afternoon was the way every visiting lord and petitioner mistook Rhaegar for the king’s eldest son, rather than the bored, constantly whispering Aegon. The king did not bother to correct them, and Jon could see the growing clench in Hightower’s jaw.

IDK the hilarity of Viserys just going "well, don't mind if they do." It's a good thing Daemon wasn't there, or he'd be just as outraged as Otto, albeit for very different reasons. (How dare anyone compare his son to one of the Hightower spawn? How dare Viserys pretend that Rhaegar is his son?)

I didn't want to zoom in too deep for this comedic bit, but you can imagine Aegon being the most bored child of all time, wanting to be anywhere else, while Rhaegar listens attentively to each petitioner/lord, mentally quizzing himself on what they seek / their house alliances/interests, guessing the king's response, guessing Otto's response, thinking about how he would have responded, and then judging the final package. This was excellent enrichment for Rhaegar, who is usually quite bored in their morning lessons!

If Jon hadn't been so cranky about Rhaegar's manuevering, he probably would have found at least some of the petitions interesting!

Crown Prince Rhaegar pt2

Rhaegar giving Jon a tiny taste of how unpleasant it can be to make yourself his enemy. He knows exactly what leverage to apply, which pieces to move into play this time to thwart Jon's extracurricular activities. Jon's paranoia is well-founded: it was pretty much 100% his interference.

But just as Jon's secrecy is about protecting Rhaegar, this is also more about Rhaegar trying to force Jon's hand so that he does tell him. It's just...very subtle. If Rhaegar confronted Jon directly, that might actually be more effective. But he keeps dancing around it, partly because he fears to learn why Jon won't tell him--that it's because Jon doesn't trust him or doesn't think he's capable of being an asset and is only a liability.

So instead Rhaegar's playing 4D chess while Jon's playing checkers, and they just keep playing around one another. And of course the final ploy backfires on Rhaegar and his worst fears are confirmed.

Lord Commander Jon Targaryen

Rhaegar's not the only hypercompetent person this chapter, of course! Jon Little Lord Commanders the shit out of a solid chunk of the harbor records, and because Daemon thinks this shit is normal and Laenor isn't around to remind him that holy fuck Daemon an eight-year-old should be doodling in the margins of papers not producing an indexed summary of his findings after spending two hours sifting through poorly sanitized data, he just goes "aww, my little master of whisperers, so much better than Reyne 🥰."

(I mean, I'm sure Daemon thinks it's a little unusual, but again, his brain generally goes "well, my sons being supremely gifted is only logical," with a side of "they grew up trying to please that fucker Allard, and applied themselves too hard scholastically" and maybe even a dash of "they are like my father and uncle, who I never knew as children so presumably they were just like this.")

Dynamics

Rhaegar and his family

This little bean is going through a lot this chapter, and coping with it by going full crown prince, as mentioned earlier. He's hyperanalyzing Daemon, doing a thousand small tests to figure out how much influence he's under, how subtle the signs are, etc. Both times with the map, he's fishing to see if Daemon feels the pull in any particular direction, given how eagerly he dragged Rhaegar to Caraxes in ch31. He's building up his powerbase as quickly as he can behind the scenes, hoping to have the influence he needs to protect his family.

And with Jon, it's a mess. As I said, his greatest fear is that Jon doesn't trust him, doesn't view him as a peer, but as a burden. He views the bracelet Jon gave him for their name day as a sacred promise: we are in this together, your fight is my fight, we face our battles together. And what he keeps getting back from Jon is silence, deflection, stubborn determination not to tell him anything. He's not even given a chance to plead his case, or prove that he can be an asset! Jon has effectively written him off.

And Rhaegar lets himself believe that maybe it's the candle's influence, that it's distancing Jon from him, but at the very end of the chapter, that bubble is burst and it is as he feared: Jon doesn't trust him.

Jon and his trust issues

It's a doozy! You can even argue some of it is merited or at least reinforced by recent events. He was forced to trust Daemon to handle getting rid of the candle, and Daemon was ensnared by it, turned from the one adult they can trust to the one they can must question and protect. He relied on Viserys (and Daemon) to guard the candle, and it was left within easy reach and stolen. He has to beg Viserys to do things that seem obvious courses of action to Jon, like assigning a guard to protect Daemon. His Valyrian maester is useless. Cole is a petty bitch. Ser Steffon is negligence personified.

All of which reinforces to Jon that the one person he can truly rely on is himself. And his distrust of Rhaegar, such as it is, is more born of fear than actual distrust. Yes, there is the possibility that Rhaegar could become compromised like Daemon, but it hasn't happened yet. But Jon was so convinced that he was an aura of ultimate protection, only for Daemon's ensorcellment and his and Rhaegar's nightmares to shatter that illusion. (Is it a fair expectation that individuals with trauma like their family's won't have natural nightmares? Probably not, you can't guard against brain chemistry, Jon.)

And he's lost so much and so many people, especially siblings and father figures. And who is most at risk here? His brother and his father.

So it's all as perfectly understandable as it is frustrating to see Jon starting down along Viserys's path of deciding he knows what's best for everyone and is most qualified to handle matters, and that secrets must be kept from those who aren't qualified to know them.

Jon and Jon

Jon's barriers between himself and Jon Redfort have taken a beating in all the stress and trauma, and we've seen several signs of it over the past few chapters. Whereas before it was usually Jon Redfort's emotions heightening Jon's, this time Jon is actually experiencing Jon Redfort's emotions, even when they are unlike his. And whereas before, Jon had almost no memories of his childhood, several have been trickling into conscious thought recently.

What the end result will be, who can say...

(I wanted to do an Alicent section too, but I'm running out of steam! This is quite long already. 😅)

Quick hitters

As I've crowed before, we've had the biggest time passage since ch11: five whole days!

There was quite a bit of subtle setup this chapter that we'll see come into play later...

I have way too much fun figuring out how secret doorways might be constructed. I didn't do any research here, I just sort of put on my DM hat and sketched a few things until I had something I liked. I don't know if the prose makes it entirely clear how the panel doorway works, but I thought it was clever at least! 😂

There's one thread that people sort of picked up last chapter but less so this chapter (tho tbf I think only 2-3 people are avidly trying to puzzle out the candle business and willing to present their theories to me); it was subtler this time, but it's the Big Clue about how the candle's most diabolical influence works and is ITSELF a clue for something else. Sorry, sorry, this is vague as shit, I know.

Why hasn't Daemon let the boys swing Dark Sister before now? I think it's a combination of injuries, being distracted, and the initial sword trauma when he nearly bisected Rhaegar at Castle Cox.

Jon using puppy training tactics on Shadow 🥺. The ham treats, the yelping upon being bit...

This is the first time the boys have actually been alone in the Red Keep outer grounds. (I don't count the times in the holdfast, or when they were wandering the secret tunnels.) Daemon would 100% have a meltdown if he knew.

I had a lot of fun with the Valyrian children's book, at least coming up with one of the stories, because it involves thinking about what morals/lessons the dragonlords of Valyria would want to instill in their children. In a society where dragon bloodlines were just as important/guarded, stealing a dragon egg must have been a heavily punished crime, so that's reflected in the story. (The boy tries it, the boy dies.) We'll see what other stories show up there!

Writing Jaehaerys and Daemon subtly butting heads, even in mere recollection, never gets old

[rawliverandgoronspice]

one tiny lore detail that I really appreciate in Ocarina of Time is how the Triforce bearers were not chosen based on what they represent the most, but what they most believe in. I think it really tracks much better than if we base it on who they are as people. Of course Zelda would yearn for the Wisdom to protect her kingdom from her own really unfortunate ten-year-old bad plan that backfired horribly, and have the knowledge to never let anything like this ever happen again. Of course Ganon would believe in the value of Power the most --regardless of our reading on the character, he was forced to yield to someone mightier than he was, and even as a trick that was probably unbearable to him. And of course Link would believe in the virtue of Courage above all else, as it is basically all he can rely on and what he needs the most to face the challenges ahead. That's just a really smart way to contextualize it all, and removes an arbitrary aspect of essentialism that doesn't 100% match them otherwise in my opinion, and makes them more active characters.

[mychlapci]

I like to think humans are p much the only beings in the whole universe to figure out contraceptions. Almost all other races have super low birth rates, dont experience pleasure in reproduction (so no recreational sex), and/or have regular harsh conditions that balance the population out. Cybertronians were only just getting to an overburdened population when the war started, but it's not till they get to earth they find out about birth control like

Spike: man its such a pain remembering a condom but smh what are u gonna do yknow im not ready to be a dad

The autobots, half who are trying to hide their pregnancies and the other half with part fried processors bc theyre overcharged by attempting abstinence: a what?

Which of course leads to typical g1 shenanigans as they try to figure out contraceptions for cybertronians (not helped by wheeljack's attempts often backfiring - spike now understanding the poor bastard has been limping along in his projects for centuries bc they cant spare wheeljack for maternity leave).

And of COURSE decepticons have to get involved with their own attempts at making their own and trying to sabotage the autobot's. Which leads to Spike having to tell the autobots the whole "nothing except abstinence is 100% guaranteed" and if the autobots had hair to pull out, they would.

It’s so funny to think that cybertronians never thought of creating their own contraceptives nor have they ever managed to encounter a species that had enough sex to bother with such things. Until Earth, of course. Also, did no one tell them about pulling out?

when they're on Earth, so many of them are already pregnant. They can’t afford more soldiers to go off duty because of their growing bellies, it’s a big rush to create protection that actually works and is comfortable to use, otherwise they’re all going to end up too pregnant to fight, autobots and decepticons alike. 

Of course they fail miserably… spike-caps that choke the spike and cause chafing in the valve, gestation tank seals that are uncomfortable and rust, whatever the hell that Wheeljack comes up with, most of which exploded, thankfully not inside of any cybertronian, since no one was willing to actually try and test Wheeljack’s contraception. 

… Part of me hopes that Nothing works. They are either bound to fizzle with charge until the end of time or keep on having babies. Another part of me wants them to figure it out and have full blown orgies for days on end. The war is put on the backburner bacause they’re all just fucking each other constantly.

[celticcrossanon]

Celta, Big Fat Psychic on YouTube latest video says that the supposed German documentary that has Harry and Meghan shaking in their boots is more Sussex PR. she contacted through a third party a small documentary film maker to do it when they were in Germany for Invictus. She’s had this plan for over a year, ever since Spare flopped. And they cannot get out if it, even though they know now they’ve been played. They’re worried about slander, but they are bound by the contract to her. She says that Meghan (and Harry, the cuckold) will blame all his drug taking in Charles behaviour, and she will say that William and Catherine does drugs too. Harry know that it is slander and made up lies, yet he feels he has no choice but to go along.

It’s supposed to be coming out this summer, and THIS will finally close the door for Charles. Northy another YouTuber says that they will be coming big time for William this summer, and I believe this is it.

All I will say is I hope Harry has paid up his life insurance and it’s up to date. And I hope it comes out that they are 100% behind this documentary. What pieces of garbage.

Hi AnonymousRetired,

If this is something the Sussexes paid for, and it exposes things that they don't want exposed, then it is poetic justice imo.

On the other hand, if this is another hit piece on Charles, William, Catherine etc that the Sussexes have paid for, then I expect it to backfire spectacularly on them. In that case I also want the news to come out that the Sussexes paid for the documentary.

Harry is responsible for his own behaviour. Blaming others for his actions will get him nowhere. He is the one who took the drugs so the responsibility is his.

There are already a certain group of people who like to believe that Princess Catherine takes heroin to stay so slim, so any drug accusations will feed into their prejudices. Any normal person will know that neither Prince William or Princess Catherine take drugs, but there are always those driven by envy and spite who will seize on any lies about drug taking as it confirms the lies they tell themselves and makes them feel good.

The media, of course, will create another huge media storm about this, so be prepared for that. It is the last thing that The King, Prince William or Princess Catherine need but that is what the Sussexes thrive on - hurting people when they are down.

If any allegations in the documentary can be proven to be false than I hope those responsible for lying are sued and lose the case. The Sussexes can not go on lying about members of the BRF and not face any repercussions for it. Enough is enough.

[calxide]

⸻ 𝐂𝐇𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄𝐃 𝐔𝐏 | A MOUTHFUL (of love)

tighnari x gn!reader | 0.8k+ words ; profanities, no pronouns used for reader, mentions of food, tighnari is very goofy(/pos), lmk if there's more

As you and Tighnari are both stuck together, his stomach growls in hunger. Being tied up together, you're forced to come with him and watch him consume his food with delight as the crocodile inside your stomach dares to speak.

chained up masterlist ✧ RTLB :: tartaglia

"I'm sorry, but you'll have to come with me."

"What?"

So, you're here, stuck with somebody. Not just any somebody, but this someone you're stuck with is none other than the boy you've been crushing on for the past few weeks (who also happened to be your classmate for a few classes), Tighnari.

The Student Council of Teyvat International decided to put up a booth called "CHAINED UP." Now, don't let the name of the booth deceive you. You might think that this contains such outrageous activities, but this is where you are wrong; as part of a reputable organization, it is simply an innocent thing you have suggested to the council — to handcuff/tie two people together for the cost of 100 mora for 10 minutes.

It was unbeknownst to you at that moment that it would immediately backfire back right on you. Needless to say, you should've known that this would happen, considering that you are friends with such teasing fellows.

"Do you really have to drag me with you?" You asked with a polite tone.

Tighnari laughs as he intertwines your fingers with him, kissing the back of your hand to taunt you. "Of course, it is with great pleasure that I shall accompany the Student Council's Vice President for a good ten minutes."

"You're lucky you're cute," you murmured under your breath — to which the corner of his lips twisted up to form a cute, captivating smile.

"You wouldn't want to waste the person who registered our names' 100 mora," Tighnari said, paying for the dish he bought.

You grumbled, "Oh, you wish I did."

Tighnari laughed at your grimace. "Besides, our booth will be able to earn more money if I do that," you added—to which he disagreed, saying that it isn't a good investment. You don't spend your money, and you get to be stuck with him for ten minutes — a pretty good deal, to be honest.

He gestured for you to sit beside him, so you both won't have a hard time moving. You watched him indulge himself on the Mushroom Hodgepodge he bought, mouth-watering. You recalled that this was his favorite food — his beautiful eyes sparkled as he savored every bite he took.

Noticing your hungry glare, Tighnari stifled a chuckle as he offered you a spoonful. The aroma was definitely trying to get you to eat the food. You shook your head as you didn't want to give in to temptation.

"You cannot refuse my offer. It would be disrespectful to the cook," Tighnari gave you a smile that made you want to scrape it off his beautiful face.

"I know. But you bought that for yourself." Tighnari shook his head and sighed at your stubbornness.

"And I'm not really hungry."

But you are. And your stomach betrayed you as soon as you said those words. The grumbling of the crocodile existing in your stomach loudly echoed amid the noisy crowd.

Tighnari suppressed his laughter, humming in response to the loud growl. "Mhm. This Mushroom Hodgepodge is really good. I might need to buy another one to satisfy my hunger."

Without warning, you grabbed the spoon from his hand using your free hand and ate the delicious food. You don't know whether it's incredibly delectable or you're just hungry because you feel like you ascended to Celestia and met the Gods and Goddesses.

"See? Tasty, right?" You nodded at Tighnari's question, still munching on the food.

"Really, really good," your voice was muffled, making Tighnari laugh.

"Well, then, have some more."

He offered you the plate, but you had a hard time picking up the utensils with your free hand as it wasn't your dominant hand. Having noticed this, he took the spoon from you.

Tighnari did the airplane thing people do with kids, making you frown. "I am not a kid," you said with a frown.

Tighnari pretended to be thinking of something, "Should I do the... what's that called again? Bing... Bing Chilling?"

You shook your head, pretending to give it a thought, "I think it doesn't work well with foods that are not ice creams," you gave him a fake pout.

"Don't be such a pouty baby. You look like a duck," he teased.

"There's nothing wrong with ducks! They're cute."

"Like you."

You were flabbergasted. You could feel the tips of your ears burning — whether it's from the heat or whatever, you don't know.

"I hate you," you said, attempting to stand up.

Tighnari immediately pulled you down again beside him, "Oh, no, no, no, no. You can't do that. That would be painful for both of us."

"But you know what hurts more?" He continued.

"Yeah?"

"You not eating the food I offer you."

You opened your mouth to say something, only to close it again as Tighnari shoved a spoonful of the food inside your mouth.

"What the hell," you exclaimed after chewing the food.

Tighnari gave you a funny smile. "We could do this for the rest of the day."

"Oh?"

Tighnari nodded, "Mhm. I could feed you all day long. Or, even for a lifetime."

And so, you did.

NOTE ang ganda ko HAHAHA CHOS HII, i hope u enjoyed tighnari's one-shot T__T im not exactly glad on how it turned out but it is what it is! i love tighnari so much ksbfksnsodn i genuinely dont know if i give his character enough justice and im probably high rn bc it's nighttime... i was supposed to post this at an earlier time but got too busy :')) idk when im going to post the next one cause i'm busy with life 😢 and im just rambling atp so gbye

TAGLIST @annoyinglyboredpoet @bluebelony @kithewanderingme @reverse-iak @randomnatics @joantheunicorn5 @i-x4o @wlellsl @ireallylikehamsters

[scahrred]

SIRIUS BLACK. the silence before a dog snaps and bites ; half-buttoned shirts and rolled up sleeves and messy hair— somehow he still manages to look put together ; eyes bright like a battlefield, gaze strong enough to bring a rush of adrenaline to anyone who looks ; the soft strum of a guitar played quietly in the middle of the night ; a haunted house with him as the ghost.

NAME | sirius orion black. NICKNAMES | siri, padfoot. AGE | twenty-three. GENDER | cis man. DATE OF BIRTH | november 3rd. ZODIAC | scorpio sun, sagittarius moon, virgo rising. SEXUAL ORIENTATION | bisexual. OCCUPATION | auror on probation. ALIGNED WITH | the order of the phoenix. WAND | acacia wood, phoenix feather core, 13 inches. also, from the wiki : "according to booth workers at the wizarding world of harry potter, the wand has a defence mechanism: one of the edges is marked differently than the others, and unless the user's thumb is placed on the edge then the wand will backfire." the wiki says this likely isn't canon but my cousin works at universal so clearly i'm at the authority to say it's actually 100% canon. CURRENT RESIDENCE | drifts between his own flat & the potters' home. FAMILY | orion black ( father ), walburga black ( mother ), regulus black ( brother ), kreacher ( greatest annoyance and biggest opp ) PATRONUS | non-corporeal but i took a quiz for him and it said wildcat so like. i guess !

there was always something wrong with sirius. of course, his family won't say as much : likely, they'll say he was corrupted at hogwarts. but it was more than that. nights spent trying to make sense of his family's teachings, of why it was so wrong to be a halfblood or a squib so long as you had an ancient house's name. that was how it began, at least. going to hogwarts was the catalyst ; whatever belief he might have had in his family's values was shattered when he met muggleborns, halfbloods, saw purebloods teetering and failing. immersed himself in muggle culture and found he liked it. the motorcycles and the music and how could anything that brought so much joy be wrong ?

but we're getting ahead of ourselves. first, hogwarts : a sorting gone wrong. if he'd ever had any question of his belonging, it was settled when the hat barely lasted a second on his head before shouting out GRYFFINDOR. his first thought, a dawning horror in the midst of celebration : what is regulus going to think ?

that's how it begins, the black sheep of the black family. he comes home for winter break and drapes his room in gryffindor colors. he buys muggle magazines ( usually tabloids ) off his muggleborn friends and leaves them in every corner of grimmauld place just to see his family scowl. most important of all, he meets the marauders. james, remus, peter. the four of them attached at the hip, a family outside of his own.

maybe he shouldn't have antagonized his family. maybe he shouldn't have pushed his parents further and further away. maybe he should have tried to ease them into breaking free of their beliefs. his life is an endless stream of maybe, maybe, maybe.

the tension bubbles until it bursts. he leaves the only home he's ever known for the potters' house, where he hides out for a bit. they're wonderful, almost like parents to him, but living with the potters just reminds him of what he doesn't have.

so, he leaves. gets himself a horrible flat with some of what uncle alphard left him. now, he's on his own for the first time in his life, stuck trying to find himself and build his identity outside of the black family heir, outside of the marauders, outside of the poor boy euphegenia and fleamont took in.

he works as an auror to keep himself busy, mostly. he could live off of alphard's fortune, but then he'd be bored all day. or worse, his mind would wander, and then he'd have to be reminded that he left regulus.

but it's fine ! everything's fine ! he's read books and watched muggle movies and knows his history. so what if a war is brewing ? so what if his brother insists on following in their family's mistakes ? everything will be fine. good always wins. right ?

[blenselche]

Why do you ship finn/fern? I want to know what you see in it. You don't have to answer if you don't want to, I think rare ships and why people like them are interesting.

how can i not when the show literally

ok but forreal, this is long so I'm throwing it under a cut, my fern brainworm really got away from me here...

Finn and Fern's story at its most bare bones is: someone incredibly damaged by abandonment is torn in half and those halves abandon each other. Fern does it literally, Finn more so emotionally. Only when it's too late does one half try to rectify the situation, showing unending patience and unconditional love and being met with vitriol and avoidance. And then... acceptance, and with that acceptance is the ultimate abandonment: death. Tragic, hurts just right. Add onto that-- their relationship references The Green Knight and the Narcissus Myth. The Narcissus myth comes through loudly in CAWM especially. My fav of Ovid's Metamorphoses and all Greek mythology, so that's def a factor. My dad said I cried when he read it to me for the first time lmao.

I don't ship them during/in canon. In canon all I can see is something nebulous and one sided, and we don't need to read into subtext for that, we can just appreciate the show as it's written: Finn helps create this person that 100% gets him after being the odd one out his whole life, Fern's existence even soothes his abandonment issues with a curse that binds them together forever, but he clings too close and doesn't give Fern space, reminding him of how he falls short. Ultimately this want to be "even closer" (very smooth, Finn) is what drives them apart. It's good where it is, it's a great starting point for shipping.

Where I ship them is past canon, blowing subtext up into large print font to pull Fern out of plot device hell into his own character, piggy backing off what we know about the grass demon.

The grass demon/blade was not made to serve the powers of good, but it actively changes/curbs its behavior for the approval of its hero wielder. It helps Finn with anything that deeply emotionally moves him (holding on to Martin, building the tower) keeps him out of unneeded conflict (refusing to attack the vamp king) helps impress his romantic interest (flute spell) it even reverses his arm nullification twice. The grass demon keeps him safe but it goes above and beyond its purpose for Finn's happiness. It reluctantly joins the fight against Bandit Princess because that sword is still Finn, and when its blade pierces/breaks the quillion it even cocoons the Finn Sword's essence safely away. Though, no matter how much good it might do it is still a demon. It has no morals, and doesn't understand them, all it cares about is Finn's safety and well being. When one of Finn's loved ones hurts him it doesn't hesitate to protect him, but (of course) Finn retaliates-- and so it creates a Finn of its own, one that won't hurt it for trying to keep him safe and happy. (OOPS! that backfired.) I love the grass demon, I love what we can glean about it because of its actions through the show and what that could mean for Fern and Fern's feelings surrounding Finn. This is the foundations of the ship to me.

I like to ship them when Fern remembers all of this/what he is (a demon that basically consumed half of Finn's soul), has accepted himself and has integrated his two ego states. We don't need to do any legwork on Finn's end. Dude's already weird enough about Fern canonically, but I do like to build his guilt up until he's a mess on the floor, crying over his past mistake of assuming Fern needed saving in the first place (the thing that leads Finn to ignorantly prompting/assisting in his suicide), haunted by the words of Fern's time echo from the The Beginning of The End comic, never truly being able to trust if he's actually helping someone again.

I like to play in that space of au/hc: a demon and the man he's bound to/he shares a soul with who loves him unconditionally, reunited somehow (a wish, diverging from canon, Penelope and Fern's next incarnation finding one another, etc) and coming to terms with the baggage of all the shit they inflicted on one another. Then maybe Fern can finally hear Finn out without the cloud of festering insecurity when he tells him again how he'd still like to be "even closer".

At its simplest I like finn/fern because I love Fern, and finally accepting and seeing Finn as a completely different person (enough to engage in a relationship, whether sexual/romantic/queer platonic/something that no label fits because of what they are, whatever) speaks to an ultimate form of self actualization, and Fern really deserves to feel that level of "himself" imo.

Hope that was adequately interesting.

[gaybananabread]

TickleTober Day 29 - Wake Up!

@hexalianrebel-blackfeathers - Definitely 29 (Wake Up!) with Hobie getting tickled awake one too many times by Gwen, Pavitr, and/or Miles. I admit I wouldn't be able to pick just one. 

Why choose? I’ve got a feeling it’d probably take all of them to get his ass good, and why not revenge it? Got a little carried away with this one, but I’m pretty happy with how it came out! Used a few of Panda's hcs too! Sorry for the all the lateness recently, it’s been quite the month (O_Ou) Anyhow, I’ve loved writing these spider sillies for you, and I hope you Enjoy!

Lee: Hobie, brief Gwen

Lers: Miles, Gwen, Pavitr

Summary: There’s one golden rule in Hobie’s house boat; don’t wake him up. His friends always break that rule. Deciding to be brats, the spider kids tickle Hobie awake once again. After he recovers, he takes a little revenge.

Warnings: none! This is a tickle fic, so if you don’t like that, scroll away!

In Hobie's boat, there was a spoken and unspoken rule. One that his friends could never seem to follow, no matter how many times he snipped at them for it.

Don't wake him up.

Every single time he lets one of them crash at his place, he winds up awake way before he wanted to be. Sometimes it's an accident, like a loud sneeze, broken cereal bowl or random floor squeak. Other times, though, it was 100% intentional. Times like that one.

Hobie was peacefully sleeping, draped over his couch. The other three had stayed the night, so he of course offered up his bed. The punk was tall, meaning he needed a bigger bed. The mattress comfortably fit the three of them, and he could live on the couch. He'd rather have his friends be comfy anyway.

He was planning on sleeping in. True, noon is a bit late, but he had goofed around most the night with the other spider kids; couple that with a full day of patrolling, and you'll know that he deserved a nice rest.

Gwen had been the first to wake up, her father's old work schedule sticking with her. It was nearly nine, but still. She quickly got bored, and not wanting to be the only one awake, poked Pav's sides. He slowly woke, grabbing at her hands and giggling. 

Giggling... Bingo. It would probably get her killed, but Gwen had a wonderful idea. "Hey Pav, how much do you value your sanity?"

He rubbed his sides, still a bit put off by the light tickling. "Uhum, it depends? What do you have in mind?" The mischievous look on her face, while endearing, sent a small chill down his spine. That look only meant one thing, though it wasn't aimed at him this time.

"I think Hobie deserves a special good morning. For letting us stay over, you know?" Pavitr sighed, knowing exactly what she had in mind. “Are you even a small bit worried about his revenge? He has told us many times over to just let him sleep.” He wanted to add that her idea would only get them ���tortured,” but the thought made his cheeks go pink. It wouldn’t be that bad...probably.

The next to get roped into her plan was Miles. He got a much nicer wake-up call; Gwen was a bit too flustered to tickle him awake. She opted for poking his cheek until he groaned. “Mmmph…wah?” The boy slowly sat up, immediately picking up on the playful vibe in the room. Should be fun, whatever it was. “What’re you two planning, and can I get in on it?”

One hushed, giggly conversation later, they had a plan. A very stupid, silly plan that would undoubtedly backfire, but a plan.

-

Pavitr inched towards the sleeping punk, regretting his offer to pin him. If even one floorboard squeaked, or if Hobie’s spider sense went off too early, he would be a dead man. A giggly dead man, but a dead man nonetheless. Slowly, he raised his wrists, firing off a few webs at Hobie’s long arms. The punk shifted, but other than that, he didn’t react. Whew…

Miles and Gwen, the cowards, crept into the room behind him. Now that Hobie was restrained, they had no chance of being punished for their actions. “Nice job, Pav. You wanna do the honors?” The bubbly teen shook his head, backing away. “Oh no. I did the dirty work. You seal your own fates.”

Chuckling, Miles approached Hobie; he was feeling brave. He could feel the anarchist stir as he straddled his waist. It was clear he didn’t want to get up, regardless of what was happening. Miles placed his hand on Hobie’s stomach, slowly curling his fingers on the taunt skin. Hobie’s eyes fluttered open, a small glare on his face. The teen just smirked. “‘Sup, Hobie.”

The punk growled, tugging at his arms. Gwen giggled, Pavitr moving behind her to avoid his gaze. “You little shits… What’d I say ‘bout waking me up?” The hell…? Oh. They pinned his arms with web fluid. They were double dead now. “Al’ight, which one a’ yous planned this?”

Pav, ever loyal, pointed to Gwen behind her back. She swatted his hand away, laughing. “Ihit was a group effort! Morning, Hobs!” 

He huffed, looking down at Miles’ fingers for just a second. “You lot are dead as doorknobs.” That would have been a believable threat if a smile wasn’t threatening to come out. Just thinking about the slow fingers on his stomach were getting to him, though he’d never admit it. 

“Sure, sure. Who’s the one pinned under who, Hobie?” Oh, that cocky little- “Miles, I would not push our luck!” At least Pav had some sense. He would go easy on the teen when he took his revenge. Maybe. “It’s cool. Hobie isn’t going anywhere.”

“When I get outta this, you’re all gonna-” Miles cut him off with wiggling fingers, finally attacking the hero’s midsection. Hobie suppressed a squeal, snapping his mouth shut to block the silly sounds from escaping. He thrashed and tugged at the webs, almost bucking Miles off him. The smug teen yelped, hanging onto the couch for dear life. “Hey guys! Little help?”

Gwen quickly ran over to assist, knowing what would happen if Hobie got free; she wasn’t ready for their fun to end so quickly. Hopping on the couch, she sat on his thighs, back-to-back with Miles. “I gotcha! Here, lemme just-” She skittered her nails along his calf, knowing softer tickles worked better on his legs. The stoic boy cracked, bass-sounding giggles rumbling in his chest. Even his giggling was cool…

“Y-youhuhu aharse! Gehe’ ohohoff!” He tried kicking his legs out, but with Gwen on his thighs, he could only squirm. Miles was wasting no time, digging into his stomach and scribbling on his navel. Gwen, on the other hand, was being torturously gentle. It was a small mercy that Pavitr hadn’t joined them, still hesitant on whether or not the punk was okay with it all.

Why did he have to be so nice? Hobie wouldn’t say he was enjoying the silly interaction. He would never, ever admit say something like that. The teasing teens were just enjoying a small joke with him. A joke they would be paid back for, with interest, but a fun game all the same. Who was he to deny them that small pleasure? “Y-youhu’re wahastin’ prehecious time thehere, Pavi! Ihihi’m gohonna kill all ohof you whehen I gehet loose, mihihight as wehehell have sohome fuhuhun!”

The concerned teen needed no more encouragement. He practically bounced over to where Hobie’s arms were pinned, ready to wreak havoc on his nervous system. Pav knew that Hobie had to be in the right mood for them all to tickle him; thankfully, he was. Ten eager fingers dug into Hobie’s hollows, pulling a squeak from his full lips. 

Okay, he was regretting that decision. Hobie tried to curl up, tug his arms free, anything to gain the upper hand on the teens “attacking” him. Pav’s webs held strong though, Gwen’s hold on his legs surprisingly sturdy. While he was completely occupied, Gwen was growing a bit bored with the sort-of-loud laughter. She felt like being a menace; the big reactions were what she was after.

Hobie’s eyes widened when he felt Gwen messing with his boot’s laces. “GW-GWEHEHEN! DOHON’ YOUHU FUHUHUCKIN’ DAHAHARE!” Two pairs of eyes quickly moved to Hobie’s legs, the boys wanting to see what would happen next. Pavitr knew that was a bad spot, but Miles was the most inexperienced with Hobie. It would be funny to see his reaction.

Gwen, knowing he would do anything to get her off, laid across his legs. Hopefully her weight and strength would be enough to keep him down. The anarchist could handle tickling almost anywhere else. That spot, though? He was screwed.

Miles and Pav each stopped their teasing fingers, figuring he could only handle so much at once. The first boot came off, thunking against the wood floor of his house boat. “Gwehendy! Gw-gwehen, c’mon! Enough’s ehenough, mate!” She didn’t share his opinion. One finger dragged up his socked sole, making him muffle a squeal. “Really, Hobs? Plaid socks? And you say I’m a monster.”

“F-fuhuck ohohoff! Miles, Pahav, get her!” He looked to his friends, silently hoping they’d see how evil that was. Both teens gave him an apologetic smile, just holding him down. “Sorry, big man. We won’t let her kill you, promise.” Those little fucking- “GYAAH! GWEHEHENDYHIHI! NAHAHAO!”

Boisterous, loud, frantic laughter flew from his lips, quickly filling the room. He thrashed like a lanky worm on a hook, kicking and twisting in every direction possible. It tickled so fucking much. 

Miles was taken aback by the intense reaction. He had never seen Hobie laugh that hard before; it was just one foot, with the sock on. Mental notes were definitely being taken. “Damn Hobie, you’ve got some pipes on you.”

He wanted to flip the boy off, yell at him, do anything other than laugh his ass off; yet he couldn’t. The spot was that bad. Tears of mirth grouped in the corners of his eyes, his dark cheeks stained a bright red. He could barely form a sentence through his laughter, much less escape. Pride crawling in a hole for the moment, Hobie did the one thing he said he’d try his hardest to never do: beg. “PLEHEHEASE! GWEHEN- STOHOP!”

Just like that, the devilish nails left his socked sole. Miles and Pavitr quickly put some distance between themselves and the punk, valuing their lives. Gwen cut the webs on his arms, freeing him to curl up and giggle his head off. And he did just that; his arms wrapped around his midsection, one hand going to rub his poor foot as his knees went up to his chest. Gwen jogged to the kitchen, getting him a glass of water. 

When offered the liquid, Hobie sighed, downing the entire cup in seconds. His cheeks had calmed a bit, breathing slowly returning to normal. Miles whispered to Pav, not knowing that Hobie could hear every word. “Never guessed Hobie would be a ticklish-feet guy. Hell, I never thought he’d be that ticklish, period.” The punk groaned, making Pavitr giggle. “Why do you think he wears those big boots? Tickle deterrent.” 

Okay, that’s enough of their shit. Hobie stood, one booted and ready to enact his revenge. “I suggest you lot run now.” Miles needed no more warnings, turning invisible and darting away. Pavitr ran for the bedroom, locking himself inside. Gwen tried to do the same, but one of Hobie’s webbed snagged her and brought her into his arms. “Hey there, Gwendy. I fink some payback is in order, yeah?”

Trapped in the backwards hug, Gwen couldn’t do much besides squirm and plead with him. She was regretting not changing out of her thin sleep top. “H-hobie, come ohon! I was just trying to make you smile! It- it worked, didn’t it?” Okay, check on the obvious lies. “Y’know I don’ like liars, Gwenny. Time ta pay your penance.”

He dug into her stomach, paying special attention to the small amount of pudge below her navel. She squealed, her knees quickly buckling as loud laughter poured out of her. She really couldn’t handle the taste of her own medicine. “H-HOHOBIE NOHOHO! IHIT- NOHO FAHAHIR!”

Hobie snorted, loving her immediately crazed reaction. “Not fair? You kiddin’ me? This is 100% fair, ya shit.” He decided to be a bit mean, using both hands to claw at her ticklish tum. Snorts started to break up her laughter, her cheeks growing red as cherries. It was worth waking him, but damn, why did his hands have to be so big?! 

A creak came from the floorboards behind him, making the lanky boy pause. He webbed Gwen’s arms to her sides, scanning the room. “You. I’m gonna be back for you.” Hobie turned his full attention to the rest of the room, watching as his old floorboards shifted near the bathroom door. Bingo.

Hobie spent the rest of the afternoon hunting the perpetrators and making sure they learned their lessons. By the end of it, all three superpowered teens had rosy cheeks, dopey smiles and tired eyes. They were currently in a cuddle pile on the couch, the punk being used as a communal pillow. And you know what? He wouldn’t change a damn thing.

[ratsoh-writes]

They managed to anger a very petty fae. How and what is their punishment?

For the 10 most likely to anger a fae, and Pop does not count.

Red: he probably flipped it off or called it a f*ckhead. The fae made it so all chocolate that red eats tastes like white chocolate. The fae has ruined reds favorite treat forever lol

Butch: he 100% got in a bar fight with the fae, and won. It’s only mad that a mere mortal managed to get the jump on it lol. So the fae curses butch to have hands of cement to slow his punches down. This backfired and now butch is even stronger

Hilda: she beat the fae in a sports bet. And her favorite soccer team is cursed to not win for the next decade. Hilda is gonna be devastated every game season for a while lol

Charm: he f*cked the faes mom. And while the fae did try to curse him for it, it’s mom reversed the curse cause charm is the first mortal to properly satisfy her in a long while. Charm has no idea all the drama is happening as he continues on with his life

Peaches: I don’t see him doing anything that would intentionally anger a fae, but he could step in a fairy circle by accident or something. He winds up being cursed with being a boar magnet. The orchid is under siege by wild boars now. It takes the combined effort of the family, several neighbors and their hunting dogs to drive them all off

Hook: he got in a bar fight with a fae, and lost, but he snatched off their wig in the process. A disrespect of the highest order of course. So hook is cursed with sea legs. He is now super uncoordinated on land. He keeps bumping into everything

Stitches: he told a fae that Mickey Mouse sucks and that bugs bunny is a way better cartoon character. The fae is a diehard Disney adult, so in order to right this terrible wrong, they delete all the shows that stitches had taped. He actually cries over it.

Thistle: he knows all the rules on how to deal with fae, not that he realizes it’s fae manners that his grandma and mother taught him. So if thistle gets cursed, it’s because the fae had beef with his grandma. The second she finds out, she’s reversing the curse, giving her beloved grandson a smooch on the forehead and a plate of cookies, and leaves to wage a 1000 year war with the guy she beat at bingo night. F*ck you Gerald

Wine: wine is perceptive enough to realize that he just picked a fight with a fae right before it starts to curse him, so he stalls and hashes out a deal instead. He promises to pay the fae back after a certain amount of time. But he did the math. In the fae realm, a year is several of wines lifetimes. By the time they return he’ll be dust. Hah!