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vulpisnocturna · 1 year ago

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Binding Vow - Part II

Part I here

Part III here

Read on AO3

This is part II of III :)

Warnings: kidnapping, manipulation, coercion, Stockholm Syndrome, captivity, Chrollo being a manipulative asshole, obsession, slight NSFW

Word count: 6k

The lilies in the vase by the windowsill were starting to wilt. Their petals were drooping, the stems getting darker, the vibrant white of the flowers starting to become ashen. In that way, you were like them. Wilting away in a prison you were forced to call home.

But Chrollo never let you see them die. No, he brought you new flowers every week, along with all the other gifts he gave you. You did not know which ones were bought and which were stolen. Not that it mattered much.

His pathetic romanticism fell on deaf ears. He could court you all he liked, but he failed to see in that brilliant brain of his that it would not work after kidnapping someone and holding them prisoners. A golden cage was still a prison, and he could not make the canary sing by locking it away, even if he used his silver tongue on it.

Sometimes, you did not know whether he was completely oblivious or simply did not care. Every glare of yours, every time you ignored him, shouted at him or even refused to eat- he met all of your attempts at rebelling with a soft sigh and a stoic outlook, telling you he “would wait for your tantrum to quiet down to talk like adults”. Always patronising. He was always so damn condescending.

Another month had passed since the day Chrollo had tricked you into having sex with him under the guise of letting you go free and then had drugged you and left that house with you. When you had woken up, you were in a new flat, which he told you would serve as a home for the both of you for a couple of months.

He had reassured you that he would never harm you and that he would protect you, failing to understand you needed protection from him. He had also reminded you that the doors were all locked, and that he knew your life inside out in case you planned to do something foolish.

The first night in this house, you had screamed your lungs out at him, fighting him, or rather, trying to hit him with all your might whilst he restrained you. In the end, he’d tied you to the bed and told you he would free you once you learnt to be civil.

Next, you had refused to eat. That lasted until he tried to force feed you, and the humiliation of the act had made you start to eat by yourself again.

After that, you had refused to speak or even look at him. Luckily, he hadn’t tried to force himself on you, but he certainly seemed to want it. He had started to sleep in the same bed as you as soon as you had cut out the screaming and hitting, and no amount of begging had made him change his mind.

“I understand you dislike my approach, but I’m doing this to keep you safe, my love. If you can get past it, you’ll see it’s only natural that we sleep in the same bed. I love having you close to me. You are so peaceful when you sleep” he had said, stroking your upper arms as though the gesture could ever be perceived as soothing.

You always made a point to fall asleep curled as far away from him as possible, yet, somehow, you always woke up with his arm wrapped around your waist. He was stifling.

Your best moments were the ones where he’d go away to do God knew what for a few hours, or when he would be so immersed in the book he was reading that he would not talk to you for a while. Of course, he would insist on having you sit on his lap as he read, but he had settled for letting you sit with him in the living room where you wanted, which was as far away as possible from him.

You hated to admit it, but when he left, you sometimes could not help but feel lonely. He was the only person you ever saw, the only one you talked to, the only one you could go to in order to find comfort. That fact alone was enough to make your stomach churn.

But that was all stopping that day. You had decided that one way or another, you would escape. You were on the eighth floor of an apartment complex, but even Chrollo hadn’t been able to find a place that did not have windows. They were locked, of course, but you could break them if you used enough strength. It wasn’t your strong suit, but you had trained a little on your Hatsu to be able to do more damage than your muscles were capable of. And of course, you would get hurt, but it was all for a good cause. If you could make it out, then… then maybe he wouldn’t find you. If you were careful.

That very day was your best bet. Chrollo had told you he would not be home for supper and had left you some food in the fridge. You packed it and filled several bottles of water, raiding the cupboards of chocolate, biscuits and fruit. You also found some gauze in the bathroom drawer, which you took with you in case you wouldn’t be able to use your Nen power straightaway.

You had cursed your power for two whole months now, hating that you weren’t an Enhancer, that you weren’t strong or fast at all. Of course, Chrollo would still be stronger, but your chances at escaping would increase. But now, you were glad you had it: if you fell from a few stories, you would be able to heal yourself, so long as you did not die on impact.

Which was why you had gathered every single towel and sheet you could find and created a makeshift rope with tight knots. It was around ten metres, which left fifteen to twenty metres left to jump. You’d found that there was a tree underneath the window of the office, so that was where you decided to escape.

The glass was thick, and you decided to wrap your hand in a section of your rope and punch it with all your strength.

It took half an hour and the breaking of your knuckles, which had also split and gotten wounded, but you had managed to stay focused through the pain and heal them before you lost too much blood.

Now, as to your escape. The window was now broken, and you did your best in creating a wide enough passage where glass would not be likely to cut you or the rope. Next, you looked down to see that no one was around. The apartment complex was situated on the side of a forest surrounding a small town, and the office happened to face the woods. You could not see anyone around.

You had around three hours to escape and get as far away from that place as possible before Chrollo came back. You had to move quickly, find out where you were and then find a way out of there.

You breathed in, calming your thundering heart and swinging the rope out of the window after tying it to the sofa. It reached ten metres or so from the canopy of the tree beneath the window, which was not ideal, but not too bad either. You stepped on the windowsill, planted your feet and started descending.

Ten minutes later, you had reached the end of your rope. You swallowed, the wind making your eyes sting and tear up as you looked down. Legs first. You had to either grab a branch with your hands or land on your legs.

You jumped.

Your hand scraped against the bark, burning and shredding against it. The branch underneath you winded you as you landed on your side, but you managed to break the fall before you hit the ground.

You convulsed on the grass, nausea and cold shivers tearing through your body as you quivered, taking small breaths that had you dizzy from the pain.

Definitely broken ribs. Definitely a broken leg.

Your trembling hand reached to your side, and you focused on your aura, feeling the pain, mending the bone, healing the damage until it felt like a dull throbbing rather than stabbing, burning agony.

Next was your leg. It took you longer than you wanted to consider to heal all of your injuries, but when you finally got up, you were okay. You could run, even though the numerous cuts on your body had made you lose quite a bit of blood and you felt lightheaded.

You started running. The feeling of hope that bloomed in your heart was quick to burst into euphoria, even though you tried not to lull yourself into false security. Running along the path in the forest felt good, freedom felt like cool breeze, autumn leaves and the faint scent of rain lingering on the ground.

You must have run more than ten miles by the time you stopped as you got to the edge of the forest. The sun was setting on the horizon, and you wagered Chrollo would be back soon. You probably had another hour before he realised you were gone. Where could you go from here? The hills to your right looked too exposed, but so did the town to your left. He would expect you to be there. But with the amount of blood you’d lost, the fact that you’d been running for hours and the lack of shelter in the hills, you had to go to the town. Maybe you’d find a sheltered place where you could stay for a few hours, before you left again.

But you never did get to the town.

Because as soon as you got back on your feet and went to grab your bag, your wrists were caught behind your back in an iron grip. You knew that scent all too well.

Your heart threatened to burst in your ribcage, and your chest heaved, your eyes widening as you writhed wildly to no avail.

‘If I were you, I would stop thrashing, darling. I am not in a gracious mood’ he murmured against your ear, voice cold, seeping into your bones like ice. You stopped moving altogether, swallowing the heavy lump in your throat.

‘Have you any idea of what that fall could have done to you? You’re covered in blood. Did you break anything in your brilliant escape?’ he continued, and you wet your lips, your temples throbbing.

Would he kill you now? Would he simply take you back? Would he break some more bones to punish you? Tie you to the bed, or relocate you to a basement?

‘Answer me. You do not want to make this any worse than it already is’ he said coldly, releasing you and staring at you. You knew trying to make a run for it would be useless. He would catch you in seconds. And who knew what he’d do to you.

You were done. He’d found you immediately. There was no escaping him.

‘My knuckles. My ribs- my leg’ you whispered, scanning his face for any clue on what might happen to you. His jaw tightened.

‘So you counted on your power to heal you, disregarding that had you broken your neck, you would not be able to heal. Not quite well-thought out’ he said, a tinge of cold fury in his voice. You ground your teeth, deciding you would go out swinging instead of listening to more of his patronising remarks.

‘I did not have many options. I ran, because you kidnapped me. I was willing to take the risk’ you spat, and he lifted his chin, looking down at you, seemingly rigid in his posture.

‘I must say that was a rather inventive plan. I think I might have read about a character doing the same thing in an adventure book once’ he mused, recomposing himself and disregarding your words completely.

‘You clearly cannot care for yourself, darling. Look what you've done to yourself. You are so very fragile. We have much to discuss. Of course, there will be consequences, but you should know I would never hurt you. I simply need you to listen. You can come with me now without a fuss or you can make the situation worse for yourself and risk more dire consequences for your behaviour. Your choice’ he said, looking at you, his eyes softening ever so slightly as you let out a strangled sob.

Choice. Another choice that was already written in stone.

‘Just let me go. Let me free. Please’ you breathed, resorting to pleading in the face of defeat, hating the fact that you could feel the tears spill from your eyes. He let out a soft sigh, cupping your face and stroking your cheek. You did not know whether you wanted to spit in his face or let him comfort you for something he was guilty of. Because you were so alone, your heart was so wretchedly heavy.

‘Shh, shh. It’s alright, my love. You must be so exhausted. You need to rest. I’ve got you. I’ve got you’ he kissed your forehead, soothing your sobs, and perhaps it was desperation and exhaustion that made you cling to his shirt with trembling fingers. You let all of your tears of frustration, pain, hurt and anger out, sobbing in the arms of the one who had brought them to life. And he was so gentle as he held you. So painfully tender in the way he soothed you, stroking your hair, kissing the top of your head, holding you close to him.

Chrollo bent to pick you up in his arms, and you buried your head against him, not wanting to look at him and accept what you had just done and where he was taking you. What the consequences of your escape would be.

As the temperature started dropping, you found yourself seeking out the warmth of his body, feeling the exhaustion catch up to you quickly. You had finally stopped crying, but your head was pounding and your eyes were raw from the tears.

You saw a car at the edge of the forest, parked behind the building, in front of the tree and your makeshift rope. He opened the door and deposited you on the passenger seat, closing it behind you and getting in on the other side. He reached over and put on your seatbelt, locking the doors and staring at you.

‘Where are we going? What is going to happen to me?’ you asked, voice hoarse from all the crying. Chrollo slicked back the wayward strands of black hair that had escaped his hairstyle, regarding you with a cold expression, if not slightly laced with disappointment.

‘You saw fit to break the window of our flat. I called some people to take care of the mess there and get our stuff whilst I retrieved you. We are going to another place, this one is compromised now. As to you, my love... I do not know what punishment would fit this crime. Your sorrow and your tears have touched me, truly. But I must ensure you learn your lesson. You don’t want this to happen again, do you?’ he asked, turning the keys and starting to drive.

Did you want this to happen again? Of course not. His tone let you know that if you ever did this again, there would be Hell to pay. Who knew what he would do now, you shuddered to imagine what he might think to do if you tried to escape once again.

‘No’ you said quietly.

There was no escaping Chrollo Lucilfer. You had been stupid to think that you could have done so. Drunk on the idea of freedom. He might have said he would never harm you physically, but he hadn’t said anything of the sort about your loved ones. You had learnt that with him, the devil was in the details. He always twisted meanings and played with words like a musician would play an instrument. And there was no escaping his judgement.

Chrollo was not having a nice day. He had had to pull back a heist when Shal had informed him the museum had been tipped off, and had thought he would just get to go home and spend some needed time with his darling girl. He had seriously thought you had made vast progress in your interactions with him. In a mere month, he had managed to mellow you a lot, and even though it had irked him to put up with your foolish tantrums, he had done so patiently, knowing being less strict would eventually aid him in making you come around. You had started to talk to him again, even seemed content to sit with him in the living room to read.

He wasn’t too pleased you never took him up on the offer to sit on his lap, and sometimes, he wanted to pull you against him and hold you there, but he was a patient man, and he understood the perks of patience and strategy.

That was why he had been willing to compromise on not taking everything he wanted yet. He had put boundaries on what was non-negotiable, like sleeping in the same bed. After all, you were his. He had claimed you, given you food, shelter and protection, brought you all kinds of beautiful gifts that reminded him of you, made you feel good. He knew you liked the sex, too. You could not deny it, he remembered all too well how very precious you had looked writhing underneath him, begging and whining for him.

Nevertheless, he was waiting to do it again, simply because you were under the impression you had been tricked by him with the vow you had made, and that had upset you. Understandably so, but the fact that you hadn’t paid enough attention to his words was hardly his fault. However, if he was respectful of your body and did not force himself on you, he knew you would eventually seek him out. He could already see the slivers of your resolve shattering, and it pleased him to no end. The way you now let him kiss the top of your head, flinching less often when he drew you in for a hug or stroked your cheek. It was a chess game, and Chrollo knew he would win.

But now, you’d broken his trust. You’d disappointed him.

When he had come back home, looking for you, thinking you might be asleep or ignoring him as he called your name, and had eventually seen the window shattered and a makeshift rope made of sheets and towels, he had seen red. There was blood spatter on the glass, and the thought of you going so far as to harm yourself in order to escape him had made his stomach hot with rage and his chest tight with worry.

He had inspected the grounds underneath the tree he surmised you had used to break your fall, and he could see some blood, not enough to make you die of blood loss. Some drips had seeped into the blades of grass that led to the woods. Torn between cold fury, worry and admiration for your commendable resolve, for a moment, he had also thought you were truly so delightful. It was so sweet of you to believe you could escape.

He also knew you must have used your power to heal yourself, because he expected you to have broken at least a few bones. Therefore, you must have been lightheaded and weak. A fragile thing like you, alone in the woods, where anyone could easily harm you. He had been worried sick, ready to burn the forest to ashes.

It had taken him twenty minutes to scour the whole forest. When he had found you, you had been panting, holding onto a tree as your gaze shifted between the hills and the small town as though you were considering your course of action. So fragile, so impossibly delicate and fatigued, so oblivious to your surroundings. He hated how you put yourself in danger. Hated that you thought it would be better than being by his side.

Of course, Chrollo knew it was human nature to seek freedom, so he could not fault you for trying. But he was not pleased. You had put yourself in danger and broken his trust.

He had been ready to make you learn your lesson by confining you to a windowless bedroom, never taking his eyes off you, even pay a visit to one of your friends. However, the moment you had started to sob and clung to him, accepting his embrace, seeking him in your sorrow, he had been truly moved. You were truly so sweet in his eyes, so vulnerable, he just wished to hold you and never let you go.

Now, he was not sure what the best course of action would be. Should he be understanding, threaten what would happen if there was another attempt, and bask in your need to be comforted by him? If he happened to be too strict with you, it might halt the progress you’d just made. But if he offered himself as the only one who could soothe your worries and comfort you, then, perhaps, you would become more dependent on him. He wanted nothing more.

But things would have to move more swiftly, because his patience was starting to run out. If he was honest, as he had you back in his car, looking so meek with your tear-stained eyes and torn clothes, he had only wanted to move you to the back of the car and show you just how much he needed you. Just how much you truly liked him. Then, maybe, you would regret your actions. But he had to hold back.

He had nothing but time with you. And your attitude and outlook on your living situation was the most important thing right now. He had to change your perspective, or his work the past month would be ruined just because he had lost his temper after you made a mistake. You could still make things better.

‘Chrollo’ you murmured, wringing your hands in your lap. You rarely called him by his name. You rarely talked to him without him starting the conversation. He loved the way his name sounded on your lips.

‘Mh?’

‘What’s going to happen to me?’ you repeated, small voice haunted. He placed his hand on your thigh, stroking your skin gently as he drove through the empty street.

‘You did something quite upsetting, dearest. You know I would have never forgiven myself if something happened to you. I cannot let anyone, including you, harm you. I cannot trust you now; you understand that, don’t you?’ he asked, voice smooth. A part of him wanted to ask you what you thought a fitting punishment would be. But he did not do well with not knowing what you would say.

‘I won’t try to run again- just... please don’t hurt the people I care about. Please. I’ll do anything’ you said desperately, and Chrollo forced himself to restrain the urge to smile. Now, that was a pleasant development. He could utilise this. Could reap the benefits of your dedication.

‘My love, it pains me that you think me a monster. There would be no reason to visit your past acquaintances if this is a one-time mistake. But how can I trust your word? How can I be certain you will not try to run from me again? That you’ll be my good girl?’ he asked gently, keeping his voice as soft and calm as he could.

Human imagination was truly intriguing. How you had come to that conclusion in your mind, already deeming it a reality, and sought to find a way out of it by offering everything you had. It was truly endearing, and Chrollo had barely had to do anything. And now, if he spared your acquaintances, he would be seen as merciful. You would be grateful. Even though he hadn’t planned to kill them as of yet, deeming it counterproductive for your opinion of him. But if he utilised your fears against you, he could appear as a compassionate source of comfort to you.

‘Because... I know it’s useless. And I don’t want to be the reason they might... get hurt’ you said earnestly, your bottom lip quivering. It made you look so sweet in his eyes. So innocent and pure. Completely different from him, someone so fascinating he could never take his eyes off you.

‘I- will behave. I’ll do- whatever you want’ you whispered, almost resignedly, your shoulders sloping. Chrollo let out a soft sigh. You had no idea of the effect you had on him when you said things like that. It was all he ever wanted. And soon, he knew you would say the same words with care and tenderness in your voice.

He parked the car in front of the skyscraper, opening the door and stepping out, and a middle-aged woman approached him, holding a pair of keys. Chrollo took them from her, spotting Shal’s antenna sticking out of her neck when she turned to head towards the glass doors. Chrollo went back to the car, opening the door and giving you his hand. You looked at him, closing your eyes briefly before you accepted his help and stood up on unsteady legs. He took his coat off, wrapping it around you. It would not do to have you walk in the lobby with your shirt and legs covered in blood.

It was long and baggy on you, and covered your whole body. He thought you looked quite sweet in it. He made sure to lead you to the door with a hand on your lower back, not trusting your balance after the injuries you had sustained and the clear exhaustion he could observe in your sluggish movements.

This time, Chrollo had asked Pakunoda and Shal to find him a place as high up as possible, so you could still watch the sky and not get any stupid ideas. The woman led you and him to a lift and pressed the button for the fiftieth floor, the penthouse. He liked to show off with a better flat, a more luxurious one, but had it been up to him, he would not have cared much, so long as it was comfortable and had everything he might need.

The woman stayed in the lift as he led you outside, to the door of your new home. He opened it, stepping inside and conjuring Bandit’s Secret to lock the door with Nen that only he could unlock. He put the keys on the bowl on the accent table by the door, because they were as useful as a pen to you if you planned to use them to open the door.

The penthouse was spacious but decorated in a way he did not mind. Cosy and warm, with a big fireplace, a loveseat and two armchairs in front of it, bookshelves filled with books on the opposite wall. His friends had truly found him a good place to crash. The dining room and the kitchen were connected to the living room by a wall with open arches, and one side of the dining room was a full window that offered a nice view of the city. He decided to look for anything that might be amiss before you moved from the hallway, and walked through the corridor, opening the door to the bedroom and the bathroom. It must definitely be more expensive than his previous lodging, but he hardly cared or worried about that in his life.

His clothes and yours had been carried here in two suitcases, and Chrollo decided he would give you space to have a bath or a shower whilst he tidied things up. With that in mind, he stepped back into the living room, observing you as you put his coat on the armchair.

‘Why don’t you take a warm shower, darling? It will relax your muscles. I’ll be here if you need anything’ he said, and you looked down at your torn clothes, your eyes wandering around the room.

He quickly went back to the bedroom, opened the suitcases and grabbed one of his shirts and clean underwear. You could go without trousers. If he were honest, he wanted you to go without any of those cumbersome clothes covering your stunning body, but he doubted you would react nicely to it if he suggested that. He was willing to compromise.

Besides, the thought of you wearing one of his shirts was somehow even better than going without it. Something about having something that was his on you. Proof of the fact that you were his.

He stepped outside, handing you the clothes and planting a kiss on your forehead.

‘Uhm- I need... trousers’ you murmured, your face growing hot against his fingers. He smirked, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

‘Do you, darling? The shirt will cover enough of you up. I’ll be in the living room. Come over when you are finished’ he said, leaving you blushing in front of the bathroom and going to the bedroom, starting to sort through the clothes and objects in the suitcase.

When you came back, he had finished tidying up and was sitting down on the sofa with a book in his hand, the fireplace now crackling with orange flames and a glass of red wine on the coffee table.

He had been right, you did look ravishing. With the smears of blood and dirt gone, his shirt on you, covering you to your upper thighs, leaving your legs exposed, he could hardly restrain himself. But tonight was not the right time to have you. No, he just wanted to hold you and see you. And perhaps taunt you a little as punishment for running away. Yes, he would definitely have you fulfil your promise to do anything he liked starting that very night.

He patted his thigh, and watched with sly amusement as you swallowed, clearly trying to find a loophole that would allow you to sit anywhere else. He enjoyed watching you rack your brains, knowing you might incur more dire consequences after you refused him the day you had attempted to escape.

It took you a minute, but eventually, you took small, hesitant steps towards him until you were firmly sat on his lap, his arm around you holding you to him. He loved your scent, loved the feel of your body against his, loved the sight of your pretty thighs. If he had been any other man, he would not have been able to exert control on his desires. But he would, because if he waited, the reward would be much sweeter. Besides, you seemed to think he would do something, and watching you squirm was delightful in it of itself.

He resumed reading the psychological thriller he’d picked up, stroking your ribs, knowing you’d mended them mere hours before. Your power was truly incredible. A power that sought to heal, remedy, one so in tune with your pure, kind soul. He found it so very fitting, so sweet. And so useful.

He could feel you shifting on his lap from time to time, and could not decide whether he wanted you to continue or to stop because it was so enticing. He decided he might do something, even if he would not take you to bed yet. After all, he had you there, glued to his body. It would be a sin to discard such a sweet chance.

He lowered his book, holding you more tightly, tilting your chin with his fingers.

‘Kiss me’ he murmured, watching you to see if you would hold to your word. He saw your pretty eyes widen, your lips parted as you scanned his face and shifted on him. Your teeth caught your bottom lip, pulling lightly on it, and he could not wait to do that himself and feel just how soft your lips were.

He had held back on kissing your lips as well, and he still remembered how worked up he had managed to get you just with that. He had a nice plan in the making, but he wanted you to kiss him first. Set it into motion.

You hesitantly craned your neck to press your soft lips on his cheek, and he let out a soft laugh, cupping your jaw.

‘Do not play coy with me, darling. You know perfectly well what I mean. Now, shall we try that again?’ he crooned, and he could see the acquiescence on your face set, compliance in the face of what you had said in the car as you leaned back towards him, closing your eyes and pressing your lips to his. This time, you did not have to be told to do it again. You knew what he wanted from you, and you acquiesced, tilting your head and touching his hair gingerly, your lips brushing against his, soft and timid. Chrollo restrained the urge to take the lead and show you exactly what he craved, because he wanted you to get there yourself.

At first, you kissed him slowly, tentatively, but then, the tip of your tongue traced the outline of his bottom lip, and you sucked it gently. Chrollo’s fingers curled around your scalp, tangling in your hair as he sank his teeth in your bottom lip, taking advantage of it to slide his tongue in your mouth. He had waited way too long to do this, but God, it was worth it.

You were addicting. He sucked and licked your lower lip, pressing his tongue against yours, tasting you, savouring the feeling of your restraint fading whenever he kissed you more passionately. A few times, he could have sworn you sought out his lips, hungry for more, battling your own desires but unable to deny them to the fullest. And it felt like a damn drug to him. He could force himself on you, but nothing could ever replace the feeling of watching you melt in his arms, so willing and pliant by the time you warmed up to his touch.

Your fingers were tangled in his hair, and his hand wandered down to cup your ass, fingers gripping the plump flesh of it, his cock already hard in his trousers. Judging by the way you were squirming and pressing your thighs together, he knew you would be wet if he touched you. And the thought alone was tantalising. He wanted to devour you, wanted you underneath him again, pretty and completely at his mercy. But he steered clear, deciding to just stroke your thighs, massage them, feel the goosebumps there as he continued to kiss you.

When his fingers inched closer to your inner thigh and you spread them for him a little, he knew he’d won. He smirked against your lips, sucking your swollen bottom lip one last time before he pulled back, looking at your flushed skin, bright eyes and tormented lips. You looked so tantalising, so compliant.

‘Have you any idea what you do to me?’ he whispered, his hand resting on your hip now. He let you simmer in that feeling, knowing that he would not have to wait much longer, he would have you soon.

He went back to his book, smirking slightly whenever you would squirm in his grasp. Oh, you must be so wound up. He wished he could help you. But this was all in favour of something better. To make you truly desperate, just as he was to get his hands on you. To have you all the time.

It did not take you long to start growing more sluggish, and before he knew it, he had finished the book and you were asleep, your head against his jaw, peaceful in your slumber. You were such a heavy sleeper, but he was also aware that you had exhausted yourself with that foolish stunt you’d pulled. He kissed your hair, setting the book down and lifting himself up, carrying you to bed. When he looked at you as you twisted in the sheets and his shirt lifted up to reveal the panties he’d picked out, he let out an audible groan.

Just a little longer, he thought. For now, he headed to the bathroom, seeking to relieve your effect on him.

You were disgusted with yourself. Disgusted with your weakness, disgusted with the effect he had on you. Yes, you’d said you’d do anything if he spared your loved ones, and you had been dreading him trying to fuck you. Having to go through it again. You had not expected him not to.

A week had passed, a week of torture. You had given up altogether on running away, especially because the door was impossible to open and jumping out the window wasn’t a viable option anymore. He had been more lenient than you’d ever imagined he could be, and hadn’t even tried to fuck you. He had merely demanded you sit on his lap and kiss him. And he had done so every day for the past week.

And every night for the past week, you’d been plagued with dreams about him having his way with you. You were horrified whenever you woke up drenched, pressure in your lower stomach, the unbearable desire to feel his touch rearing its ugly head again. Reminding yourself of who he was had become increasingly difficult, when all you could think about was how good he felt, how much his touch sparked heat in your body. And he knew it too, the clever bastard. You could see it in his sly grey eyes, in the sardonic smirk he would give you once he pulled away.

You were lonely, and you were tired. Tired of the struggle, tired of the anxiety, tired of weighing your every word, of pushing him away, of walking on eggshells all day long. It would be so easy to give in. The only thing that held you back was giving him the satisfaction. But then again, you’d already done that the time you’d slept with him. What was the point? Wouldn’t you live a much easier life if you gave in? If you stopped fighting and just let him encroach himself in your life? It had already happened, and your stubbornness and pride were only making your life harder.

You wanted to scream. You wanted to cry. You were weak and twisted for considering liking someone like him. Someone who had kidnapped you, a murderer with no morals, a man who had no problems threatening your loved ones and keeping you captive.

But what choice did you have? What was there in the future for you? More struggle, more bile in your throat, more tightness in your chest, more pain and suffering? Or just acceptance?

He could be considerate, when you did what he wanted. And he could be your worst nightmare if he wanted to.

You couldn’t defeat him, couldn’t escape, couldn’t convince him to let you go. Your choices were to either live a miserable life of suffering, or to give in and experience something bordering safety. Something that might resemble a life one day. All in exchange for giving in to the one who had ruined your life. Somehow, the choice made itself in your mind.

Part III here

#chrollo #chrollo lucilfer #chrollo smut #yandere chrollo #hxh chrollo #chrollo x reader #chrollo hunter x hunter #hunter x hunter #yandere hxh #hxh #hxh x reader #chrollo x y/n #chrollo x you #yandere chrollo x reader #kuroro lucilfer #yandere x reader #yandere chrollo lucilfer

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suguru-getos · 2 years ago

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yandere genshin characters x punishments (gn! reader)

warnings: yandere themes, mdni, mentions of emotional, sexual abuse, isolation, manipulation, degradation.

a/n: feeling dark sorta way 😈

characters included: scaramouche, ayato, diluc,

scaramouche: things with him range from getting minor chidding for being mouthy to a full blown rage fest. he is scared of hurting you physically knowing the intense power he holds. plus— it isn’t very good to hurt the people we love; right? all he wants is to protect you. keep you safe and sound. not his problem that you can’t understand what’s truly, undeniably good for you. uses isolation as his weapon. you would be locked in, spoiled with your favorite food, on time. but you aren’t allowed to see anyone, not even him… one week in & you are already vulnerable & folded. the silence is tearing your eardrums apart. there is nothing you miss more than to be held by scara. to talk to him…. to be with him & listen to him spoil you. so the next morning when he comes to you with food, you break down. big fat tears rolling through your cheeks as you hug him, shoulders dropped low and anxiety folding you. “please— kuni, please don’t leave me alone, i don’t like this,” the break in your voice almost breaks his heart. but he knows you need to learn your lessons. and sometimes, not in the most desired of ways. “good little angel, sssh~” he cooes, kissing your forehead. “but i want to really, really know if you mean your words. let’s make it another two days hm?” the look of betrayal in your eyes is soon swiped away, when he leans in and kisses you softly, but his will & decision unshakable. maybe after another two days, you will understand how much, you are lucky enough to have someone like him tend to you, always.

ayato: ayato has two sides, one that is ever so gentle, kind, tolerant to your antics. the other… is the side that you never want to see; the spoiled, belittling brat side to him. “surely you must know by now why exactly you are treated like a whore?” ayato mused, watching your naked sex stuffed with a dildo that was of his size. “do you even deserve to be touched by me rather?” he sits in front of you, it’s been literal hours you have been forced to cockwarm the toy. tears prickling into your eyes, you whine out & bite your lip. all of this because you decided to tell ayato that he isn’t deserving of you, that you’d rather be a slut to any man that be his lover. because ayato is selfish, self-centered & narcissistic. and you— almost had enough of it. ‘almost’ until you saw this side of him. the side drenched with cruelty and mania. “yato-“ you cried out, “uh uh uh? what did you say?” you immediately flinched at that statement, correcting your words, “waka sama- i’m sorry, i’m sorry— please!” it felt a little too overwhelming, overbearing, with how he sat next to you, tending to his official matters until he decided it was time to take a break. you almost forgot that ayato loves you, sickeningly, disgustingly but he does… feeling smaller, and smaller. almost insignificant in front of his wrath. “i’m sorry—” you managed to mumble one more time, knowing completely well it was not what he wanted to hear. “i will never go to anybody else,” that got you a change of his look. he was looking at you with softened eyes, almost reconsidering his idea of punishing you any further. scoffing at your statement, his gloved hands removed the toy from your drooling sex, kissing it softly. “good little thing,”

diluc: the wine tycoon of monstadt was already intimidating to everyone. coursing fear and respect through everyone’s veins whether they wanted it or not. all you had to do, to feel the same anxiety from his otherwise warm presence was to go out of dawn winery, and get yourself surrounded by cryo slimes. why would you never understand that you. are not. allowed. to step. the fuck out? diluc didn’t talk to you, he didn’t want to hurt his angel by words, or by actions after he safely protected you. but his aloofness was killing you already. truth be told, diluc was a soft yandere, and you dearly, dearly loved him. leaving you be by your rooms, working his job as the dark knight. and coming back to sleep in a bed that is different from yours was enough to carve little pieces of your heart out into the abyss. you loved him, and you wanted to be loved. the silent treatment was not helping— despite you waking up early and waiting long in the nights to get a chance to talk to him. it just wasn’t working. diluc was not happy… until one day you just couldn’t take it, your silent sobs echoed through his room when he came home one night. immediately rushing towards you and hugging you tenderly. “hey hey hey— why are you crying?” diluc softly cooed, kissing your tears away. “hey- listen, i-” before he could complete, your whines escaped, sounding complaint-laced. “you don’t wanna even talk to me these days! i will never talk to you either fuckkk you!” you were angry at him, but you were leaning into his soft touch. “i love you, i’m sorry— i just, got scared okay? scared that my paranoia might hurt you and became distant..” the whole night, you and diluc got comfortable by sharing silences and sentences that you both needed to hear.

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ccscocoapuffs · 5 months ago

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Dominik Mysterio NSFW Alphabet

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex) He needs to feel you close to im after sex. Whether you do this by maybe cock warming him or just simply pulling him closely into your chest is completely between you two. He adores when you leave soft kisses all over his chest and tell him how sell he did for you,

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s) Dom of course loves his hair, i mean come on have you seen his luscious locks? He is a boob guy 100% he loves when you two have some alone time if you let him lay in your lap and just softly suck on your nipples till he feels calm or falls asleep.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically) Very messy messy boy, Dom cums so much that its almost impressive that much can come from him in general. If he doesn't cum inside you then he likes to make a mess all over you and himself.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs) 100% has humped your pillow while you were gone, he gets so needy for your touch that he will go to any means to just feel something of you near him while the poor baby cums everywhere.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?) He has very little experience. He understands the full concept of sex and obviously has done it before but when it comes to exploring his kinks he actually has always been a little bit shy when expressing them so he has little experience with that area in particular.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying) He loves having you ride him when you're rewarding him for being your good boy. He adores that he can reach up and grab your tits and see your face when he plays with your nipples. "Fuck Mami keep riding me, wanna see these pretty tits keep bouncing"

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.) Little bit of both. He loves the moments you two share together where you can giggle and smile while you enjoy the feeling you two are giving each other. Though he loves the more serious moments when you make him beg or he makes you beg (the second option being more rare) just as much as the goofier times.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.) Dom prefers to shave it down quite a bit, though he still has a very small and tidy bush. His hair is a very dark brown that borders into almost being black in color.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect) Whiny. He is always whiny in the moment. Intimacy is something that comes naturally to him so he is always super loving and romantic with you during sex. However, all he does is whine, "Mami, I need it faster!", "Mmmmmm No more, Mami, I'll be good I promise!", "It's too sensitive!".

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon) He likes to masturbate alot actually, being on the road alot it's something he has kinda grown used to, though if you really wanna get him riled up set the rule for him of no touching without Mami's permission.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks) Mami Kink slight spanking degrading and praise body worship pegging

L = Location (favorite places to do the do) Anywhere to be honest, he doesn't care if he gets caught. He is getting fucked at the end of the day and doesn't care who knows it. Though if he had to pick a favorite place it would be on the couch in the judgement day clubhouse.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going) His Mami of course. He loves that you protect him, love him, please him, and so so much more that he couldn't even name if you asked for all the reasons. His motivation is simply your love for him. Though it does turn him on when you use a stern demeanor with him when he's broke a rule or misbehaved.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs) Sharing you with someone outside of the group he trusts (You'll see more about that in the R section). Anything that involves silent treatment, If you are giving him a punishment for being a bratty boy just don't make him feel ignored it breaks his heart to think you don't wanna talk to him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.) Dom loves receiving. though he actually prefers giving. He will stay 'between your legs for hours if you'd let him. He loves being able to hear you whine for him, it makes him feels so good to know he's making you fall apart with just his mouth. " Just a little longer, Mami....Just wanna taste a little more"

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.) Dom really likes a mix of things when it comes to pace, sometimes he likes soft and loving sex other times he loves a more rough and fast experience. It really all depends on two things, if he has been a brat or not and his overall mood.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.) Loves a good quckie. He would adore it if you pulled him somewhere backstage on Raw and sucked his dick for him before he goes out. Bonus points if it's somewhere you might get caught so you have to cover his mouth with your hand to soften his loud whines.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.) He is down to experiment to a certain extent. He can get jealous sometimes when the idea of sharing you with someone comes up but if it's someone he really trusts then he will be more comfortable with the idea, Especially Rhea, Finn, or Damian.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?) Usually only one round, though this is mostly because he likes to be edged and denied the ability to cum so that when he does get to his orgasm is better and more intense.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?) Dom Dom loves toys. You guys have several that you use, everything from cuffs, straps, to anal toys, most of which all are for dom.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease) Let's be honest here, you tease him far more than he teases you. Though he may be bratty and tease you like wrapping his arms around you waist and saying something like "I wish i had a mommy who would take me home and suck me dry, but i guess I'll have to find someone else to do it huh?". He wants to tease you into feeling jealous so you'll put him back in his place.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.) Loudest bitch in the world. There is zero way you could ever sneak around with dom because he 100% is gonna get you two caught.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character) You once walked in on him humping a pillow while he thought you were gonna be gone for a little while. He loves when he sits in your lap and you make him rub his hard leaking dick across your leg for just a little bit of pleasure.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes) Dom Dom is roughly 6 inches with a light pink to his tip. He doesn't have any prominent veins that show or anything of that sort.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?) Super freaking high, he has so much energy to get out he figures sex is the best way to do so, Hence why his drive is so high.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards) Almost instantly. The poor babe is just so sleepy afterwards as soon as his head hits the pillow he is out.

#fanfic #alphabet #wwe fanfiction #wwe raw #wwe smut #wwe #wwe smackdown #dominik mysterio #dominik mysterio x reader #dominik mysterio smut #the judgement day

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vermilionsun · 6 months ago

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If you are still open for requests..how about Ais and Kuras (or pick which one) with a child/children?

Of course!! Don’t hesitate to send in more if ya want <3

Ais

Father figure of the year

✩ Pretty chill in general

He's the type of dad who will let you have a good time but also make sure you're staying safe.

✩ Always there to lend an ear or offer advice… or constructive criticism—

You can always count on him to give you straightforward and honest advice, even if it's not what you want to hear. Even though he may not always agree with your choices, you know that his intentions are always good and that he genuinely cares about your well-being. Ais may not show his emotions openly, but his love and support for his child would be unwavering.

✩ Seems to know exactly what to say in any situation.

Whether you need help with a problem or just want someone to talk to, he is always there for you (with judgment /j)

✩ Don't even bother to lie to him.

He can see right through any facade and will always know when you're not being completely honest. His ability to detect deception is uncanny, but it also makes him a trustworthy confidant. Besides, what even did you do that made you think the consequences would be that bad? (Or even exist?) Partying? Smoking? Drinking? Drugs? Sex?

✩ “Lame. When I was your age I was way worse—”

✩ CRAZY parent lore.

And he mentions it so casually every time. Like, he's seen (and done) it all before. Nothing seems to faze him in the slightest.

✩ He's the kind of guy who would drop everything to help his kid, no questions asked.

✩ On the other hand, if we're talking about babies…

He might be a bit (completely) clueless when it comes to diaper changing, feeding schedules, or soothing a crying infant. However, his willingness to learn and his dedication to being the best parent he can be are admirable qualities.

✩ He's the type of person who will spend hours researching the best parenting techniques and tips.

✩ He gets the hang of it pretty quick.

✩ He is incredibly patient to the point where it becomes a bit scary.

✩ COMMITTED.

From reading bedtime stories to playing endless games of peek-a-boo, a cheerleader, a rock, a shoulder to cry on—he's all in when it comes to being a parent.

✩ GIRL DAD

✩ If anyone dares to think about touching his child, they'll never see the light of day again.

Kuras

24/7 confusion

✞ This begs the question of whether the child would be half-angel.

Let's assume so, because it becomes ten times funnier.

✞ Absolutely b e w i l d e r e d in the beginning.

✞ “...Why does it cry so much?”

Another question that often arises is, "Is there something wrong with it that I can't see?" He's just… confused. He doesn't really understand babies. Kuras is used to living a fast-paced, independent lifestyle, so the idea of being responsible for a helpless infant is overwhelming for him.

✞ Incredibly good once he figures it out.

Despite his initial confusion and overwhelming feelings, Kuras quickly adapts. Kuras is always on call to help with midnight feedings and diaper changes, making sure the baby is well taken care of around the clock.

✞ “Uh… honey? The baby is floating.”

Cue Kuras calmly walking into the room and safely guiding the baby back to the ground with a knowing smile. It becomes a common occurrence in the household.

✞ Eventually takes on the role of mentor, teaching the child how to control their powers and use them for good.

✞ Slightly strict

Believes in setting boundaries and enforcing rules to ensure the well-being and safety of his children. He considers discipline an important aspect of parenthood, as it helps instill good behavior and values in his kids. He may come off as harsh at times, but it all stems from a place of love and protection. Kuras wants his children to grow up knowing right from wrong and understanding the importance of structure in their lives.

✞ Comfort

He listens without judgment, allowing his children to express themselves freely. Kuras encourages open communication and fosters a strong bond based on trust and respect.

✞ Don't even bother to lie to him part 2

If you try to sneak out, he'll be waiting for you at the door, arms crossed and a stern expression on his face. You can try to pull one over on him, but chances are, he'll see right through it. It's better to just be honest and upfront with him, because he always seems to know what's going on.

✞ Consequences

Although Kuras seems disappointed at times, he knows that it is all part of the process of growing up and learning from mistakes. He understands that his children need to make their own choices and face the consequences of those choices in order to become independent and responsible adults. Kuras tries to offer guidance and support, but ultimately allows his children to take ownership of their decisions and experiences.

✞ Always puts his children's needs above his own.

✞ Being the doctor he is and a parent can be a challenging juggling act. Kuras, however, manages to balance both roles with grace and dedication.

✞ T r i p l e t s

✞ If anyone dares to harm their child, he will stop at nothing to protect them. Fuck repentance and forgiveness; Kuras will seek justice with a vengeance that knows no bounds.

#verewrites #ais #kuras #red spring studios #headcannons #ts #touchstarved #touchstarved game #touchstarved headcanons #touchstarved kuras #kuras touchstarved #ais touchstarved

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alaynestone · 2 years ago

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happy wincest wednesday! for the first wednesday of the new year and related to recent delightful shade, lol -- what are your favorite ways for Sam to find out about Dean/John, and what do you want his reaction to be?

happy wincest wednesday! this is a difficult question because there are so many different ways for this to happen and they're all incredibly interesting to me. i can't get enough of this trope, especially in combination with sam/dean and the new layers of familial dysfunction it unveils.

a classic is sam finding out after john's death in season 2. it feels like the most canon compliant time for him to discover this because by s1 they're still getting to know each other again as adults and sam still has quite a few gaps about dean's childhood. i do think that no matter how the discovery happens, sam will be able to look back on events from his childhood and teenage years and feel like a part of him always suspected. maybe he never consciously considered it but there was something about the closeness dean and john shared that always made him uncomfortable for reasons he couldn't name. partly because when john wasn't there that closeness was shared with him, but as soon as john was back dean would turn into daddy's little wooden boy all over again. i think sam always felt lonelier and more distant from dean when it was the 3 of them and that's one of the reasons why he never wants things to go back to the way they were.

so since we're talking about s2, his reaction is horror, revulsion, not so much because it's a shock but because when he stops to think about it it really, really isn't. i can't sugarcoat the fact that sam in the earlier seasons would often get angry at dean for "allowing himself to be treated that way", so he would be fiercely protective but bad at expressing it in a way that can't be misinterpreted by dean as disgust. i said something similar when you asked me about sam finding out that dean has done sex work. i think he'd explode at first and only later approach it in a more gentle way. i think he'd feel guilty for not seeing it (or not understanding what he was seeing) and hopeless with knowing that there wasn't anything he could've done because dean would have never walked away from john.

dean of course would defend john to sam and probably even insist that he started it. i can also see him getting vicious about it and generally treating it as not that big of a deal. whether this is a universe where sam and dean have a sexual relationship or not, sam would be terrifyingly familiar with wanting dean and feeling evil for it. and also familiar with the way they were so cut off from society that something like that could begin to make sense. if this is a version of events where sam hasn't acted on his attraction, it's easier to stay mad and keep a relative distance from the situation. if he has then it's confirmation that he is indeed wrong like his father is wrong, and is dean with him because john is no longer there? does he know what he wants? if things between them started long before s1, was dean only with sam because that was what he was used to? did john know? the sickest possibility to cross his mind would be that dean was with him with john's permission, or on john's orders. he realizes he's never hated his father more yet now feels closer to him than ever and still can't help but miss him terribly.

but just because they've both crossed these lines, doesn't mean he has to be like john. this could mean he ends his physical relationship with dean but even if he succeeds we know there's no getting rid of "whatever this is" between them, so he'd only be putting it off for some time. plus they both need that intimacy and there's nothing else to hold onto anymore AND IT'S ONLY S2 so as much as putting a stop to it appeals to me for angsty reasons, determination to treat dean better and love him harder would probably win out. for all that sam feels cursed, there's always a stubborn optimism that keeps him fighting the worst of his nature and that would be useful in a situation as messy as this.

#this is so long and i didn't even get to discuss other ways for him to find out but the possibilities are truly endless #favorite fucked up love triangle #zmediaoutlet #wincest wednesday #supernatural #whatever this is #even the bones would do #not different; not anymore #like the rifle #incest//#deanjohn #samdean

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electricbluebutterflies · 1 year ago

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Kabby + laughing during sex

Haven't done 4x01/4x02 grayspace in AGES and this is fun. Vaguely PG13-ish and also on ao3.

They waited twenty-odd years for this.

Abby is not disappointed by any means, let her make that opinion very clear. Surprised, slightly, but not-

Of course the sex is good. Given their past dynamics, she’s known it would be since the first time she ever thought about it. The comfort level, on the other hand, is much better than her expectations.

Blame it on the fact that in this world they’re in now, no one else gets her on that level. Marcus is the last person left who got an up-close view of every major thing she’s ever done whether it made logical sense or not, a constant recurring presence in her life even before respective career paths made them each other’s problem on a more structured and formal level, and on some level that’s always been reassuring. No matter what else happened, she knew he’d always be there in the background questioning her judgement and saying things she’s sure sounded a little more tactful in his mind and-

They changed, a few months ago. Everything changed and somehow nothing changed.

She’s known this would happen, in some form, for most of her life. She can’t say for certain that he was the first person she noticed that way, back when she was very young and thoughts about how two people could enjoy each other were new to her, but the timing was close and that became another constant in her life, even once he became difficult, even when she was married and… the occasional daydream about someone else does not count as infidelity, let her justify that, the fact that she wouldn’t have done anything under those circumstances does not-

Everything changed. Again and again. Somehow, she thinks, somehow it was always meant to lead to this.

There’s something decidedly comforting about having a body next to her that she has known in other contexts. Her daydreams may not have become reality until an hour ago, but she’d had more than enough valid reasons to see different parts of his skin over the years and especially these past few months, different injuries to tend and an understanding that she would be respectful and-

So was he, she reminds herself. So was he, those weeks when movement was uncomfortable for her. No delusions about protecting her modesty, but nothing beyond what could be explained by circumstances either, nothing inappropriate or-

Things change. People change. Will that ever feel normal, or will she always be distracted by that past?

She shifts position to look at him now, to run her fingers over his skin and map what she knows. She’s tended every new scar except for one, and it was just as well she wasn’t in proximity when that seemed like a good idea, and-

“What are you thinking right now?”

So many things, she would say if she wanted to talk. Something about cosmic inevitability, how long she’s waited and how certain she was of the ending but never the details, something-

Instead of any of that, instead of anything too intense for their current condition, Abby laughs. The body does what will, and-

“I didn’t think we’d happen like this.”

Marcus gives her one of those looks, in a past life a warning sign that he was about to say something intended to set her off and make her the bad person but in this one… she’s not as sure of him as she used to be, and the unpredictability has had positive results but at the same time-

“That was… decidedly less aggressive than-“

“I’m too tired for aggressive right now. Maybe later, but-“

“That wasn’t a complaint.”

She’s known, on some subconscious instinctive level, that the daydreams have been some kind of mutual for… as long as she’s had them if not longer, probably. The absolute inevitability of it all, so comforting and overwhelming at once, all of their eras and evolutions and this is the one where they finally-

“You sure about that?”

He doesn’t respond immediately, and there’s something warm about it, the averted eye contact and the mutual shock and they have both had a long few weeks and maybe-

“Aggressive will be fun. So was whatever that was.”

No wonder his various entanglements have never lasted long, she’s tempted to say. No sense of what’s appropriate in aftermath, absolutely no-

Maybe it’s different because it’s her, because she actually means something, because she suspects she’s the only person who ever has. She would never go as far as to assume unrequited love – there’s a nice ten or fifteen year stretch in there where she knew damn well he did not have that emotional depth, and its recent redevelopment is still weird – but something adjacent to it maybe, some kind of guiding light, some kind of-

“Fun,” she repeats, and such a small word shouldn’t taste bitter. “Is that all we are?”

“Too early to call.”

“Wrong answer.” She shifts position so he can see more of her, how good she looks in this state and… she hasn’t had to think about how she might be seen in nearly two years, and before that her marriage was always so easy like this new dynamic will never be, if they are something it won’t calm either of them any further and-

But they have to be something, she thinks. She’s never wanted casual from anyone. To be minimized like that would be-

“For once can you just… not immediately compartmentalize?”

“Who are you and what did you do with my lifelong nemesis,” she laughs, leaning in to take a kiss. “Those words just sound wrong in your voice.”

“I’m trying. Mostly for you.”

She never asked for that. They’ve had that fight, repeatedly, in the past few months the only reason they’ve gone at each other, and… somewhere along the line she accepted that while she’d more or less ended up with slightly more blame for his attempts at becoming an actually decent person than any of the abundance of other contributing factors to that midlife crisis, she wasn’t the goal of it. How their dynamic has developed in that time has been real and without ulterior motives, and that’s so damn strange coming from him but still-

As much as it still feels just a little wrong to admit it, she trusts him. Even when they were at their worst, she still did, but more so now, more so-

“I’m not your morality pet,” she murmurs. “Don’t forget that.”

“You’re not,” he replies, getting an arm around her back and pulling her a little closer. “You’re much more…”

They don’t talk for a while. They’re better that way.

#ebf writes fic #kabby #queue

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pers-eids · 1 year ago

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i miss my mommy.

i’m twenty-two years old, and i miss my mommy.

maybe it’s because i’m finally moving out, moving on, and this is the last chapter of my childhood that is left, and it’s ending. it’s ending, but not of my own volition; i would stay young forever, if i could, and watch over my brother and sister while they play, and make simplistic lunches for the three of us, because the responsibility always fell to me, and i could try to protect them better than i did. than i have.

i miss being four, before the first of my siblings was born, and knowing with absolute certainty that my mother was mine; that she loved me, that i was her little girl, that she was my mom and nobody else’s. i wasn’t especially jealous as a child—i never fought for her attention, not that i remember, because i was old enough to understand that a baby was the priority. i wasn’t jealous, or overly dramatic, but there came a time in my childhood when the responsibilities of a mother were pushed on to me, and suddenly i was to nurture, to comfort, to protect. she fed them, changed diapers, played out the legal requirements that come with parenthood; all the physical things i couldn’t do because i was too young. i’m convinced if i’d been older then that would’ve been part of my role as well: to provide. suddenly i was all of these things, and the mother that i’d previously had just…disappeared. it wasn’t like she’d never existed, because i saw her here and there in smaller increments, but the mother that i grew up knowing—that held my hand and dolled me up and dropped me off at preschool and raised me the way only a mother ever really could—she wasn’t mine anymore.

i learned about sex in elementary school, as was apparently common amongst my peers, and i knew the word ‘rape’ at nine or ten. what i should’ve known, if my mother hadn’t been so negligent, was that the game i’d been talked into playing several times with the neighbor girl my age was actually assault. my understanding of rape at so young an age was that it was always violent, and it was always done by men to women. i had absolutely no idea that what my little neighbor had done was considered rape. no idea whatsoever. my grandmother, the one on my dad’s side, had always made it clear that children should know the in’s and out’s of their bodies. my christian mother had always despised the idea, just as she despised my father’s mother, and sometimes i want to blame her for what happened to me. if she hadn’t been such a goddamned prude, if she had only explained what intimacy was, and that it was only ever done by consenting adults, i know i likely would have told someone before i completely lost my chance.

then, of course, there’s the events that have occurred between my mother and the other members of my family. there’s the abuse, the narcissism, the neglect, the gaslighting, the hate speech. there’s my two younger siblings who look to me as their mother, who’ve accidentally called me ‘mom’, who have no emotional connection to her. there’s the time she hurt them, the meals they’ve gone without, the danger she’s put them in. there’s my dad, who was a victim to her reign of terror, who loved her despite it, who looks at her now and sees nothing of the woman he loved but still feels guilt for talking badly about. there’s the years of trauma that i am still trying to unpack, to make sense of; screaming matches, weapons being pulled, hissed voices, threats, flinches, hate, hate, hate. there’s the way my mother looks at me like i’m delusional, like i will never know myself the way i claim to, like it’s absurd i ever could. there’s the life i stripped from her by being born, whether it was her choice or not, and the fact that i am two years older than she was when she had me.

i miss my mommy. i regret so much, for the both of us, because a part of me still loves her, will always love her, even through all the pain i have had to endure because of her choices. i no longer believe in god, but i pray for her to whoever will listen, because i know when she prays for me it is with a name i no longer use. i pray she finds herself again, and spends the rest of her life begging my forgiveness, because i want her. i want her to love me, to like me, to see me; it is a type of want that fills up the black, rotted mass of weakened muscle behind my broken ribs, and it is far too great a beast to ignore. i want my mommy. i miss her. it’s as simple a statement as anything, yet i cannot dare to confess it to her face, much less utter it from the tongue she made me.

e.p

#isnt it so beautiful?#i miss her more than anything #and still i am nothing #i am her flesh and blood #but still she sees nothing #mommy issues #original work #writers on tumblr #literature #original poem #poetry #poets on tumblr #poems

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kostantina · 5 months ago

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Do you have more headcannons of Bohemia x Nyo HRE?

Hello!!! And yes, I do have other headcanons regarding the ship. Ship: Bohemia/Czechia x Female Holy Roman Empire/Holy Rome I think Bohemia/Czechia would be the first one to confess out of the two of them, and considering how society viewed relationships of the same sex and how religious the Holy Roman Empire was, they would probably deny their romantic feelings for each other at the beginning. Fortunately, Bohemia had always been bolder, so she eventually accepted what she felt for Nyo!HRE and confessed, but the latter would still be in denial and would even chastise her subordinate for what she felt. Bohemia would defend her feelings and would ask whether or not Nyo!HRE loved her back, which Nyo!HRE would have a hard time answering because her feelings were in conflict. Ultimately, she would settle with the answer "no," but Bohemia believed that her feelings were actually reciprocated and Nyo!HRE was merely refusing to acknowledge the truth. The confession and what happened afterwards would strain their relationship. But after some time, with much consideration, Nyo!HRE also acknowledged the truth, that she did love Bohemia as well, although not without fears. But they had one other to soothe their fears. Their relationship would be a secret to protect it. They might just be very close friends to outsiders, but what they did not know (and thankfully did not know lest they interfere) was that the women were lovers behind closed doors. Bohemia and Nyo!HRE would also have conflicts throughout the span of their relationship, just like other couples. The Bohemian Reformation and the Protestant Reformation might complicate things between them, but Nyo!HRE also had troubles with the Church and the Peace of Augsburg happened, so I believe they would reach an understanding. Of course, there were also other Protestant-Catholic related challenges they had to face, such as Emperor Ferdinand II's antagonistic actions towards his Protestant subjects, the Defenerestation of Prague in 1618, and the Thirty Years Wars, which caused devastating damage to the Empire. - I must admit that my knowledge regarding the events mentioned above was not enough, so I didn't go into detail and had uncertainties. Now, into the positive side of their relationship, I like to think of them doing experiments together or being "science buddies." This idea was inspired by the very little information I read about Emperor Rudolf II whose court was colourful and located in Prague. Bohemia also gave me the impression that she would be more openly affectionate and take the initiative in giving romantic gifts more often. But, rest assured, that Nyo!HRE loved her equally and would not allow herself to be outdone by her beloved handmaiden in the act of gift-giving! So expect Bohemia to be showered with much more gifts. And another idea I like is Bohemia teasing Nyo!HRE by using her honorifics and kissing her skin when she was alone in helping her prepare for the day or night. For instance, when she was assisting Nyo!HRE in wearing or removing a necklace, she would kiss her nape all of sudden, making Her Majesty very flustered. Nyo!HRE would also often invite Bohemia to sleep with her in the same bed given the chance, and Bohemia had a reason to be in her bedroom anyway, being her personal attendant and a favourite one at that, which others were perfectly aware of.

#hetalia #hws holy roman empire #aph holy roman empire #nyo holy roman empire #hws czechia #hws czech republic #aph czechia #aph czech republic #hetalia headcanons #holyczech

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the-almighty-gob-john-langley · 8 months ago

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Genderbenders, take note!

Yes, the 'Almighty Gob' has returned for another sideways swipe at those who should have their brains wired up to at least twenty car batteries.

Wouldn't the 'Bullshit Times' be a great title for a contemporary newspaper?

It seems that every day there's an issue where there needn't be one, and it's

always bullshit caused by someone having hurt feelings. Such as the wimpish

world this has become nowadays. However, on the plus side, it does give me

something to write about.

So, today’s offerings toward people who deserve to have their heads connected to

at least twenty car batteries as a wake-up call are as follows. The limp wristed,

adult nappy-wearing, haven't a clue as to whether they're Arthur or Martha,

Gen x,y, and z, fuckwit, oh so politically correct, anal wipe, gender

ideologoes employed by our uncivil service, who've put a lawyer employed

by an arms-length department of DEFRA in the frame for allegedly making

gender-critical comments at work. Such as stating her belief that only

women have periods.

If I'm incorrect in my belief, would any man out there who is reading this

and suffers from excessive bleeding through their penis every month as

the uterus sheds blood, mucus and cells please make yourself known.

Forget Dianne Abbot's threat of shooting, which was, of course, a turn of

phrase we all use from time to time in jest, when those who really do need to

face a firing squad of gunge-filled supersoakers are the pillocks who

disagree that biological sex isn't binary and immutable.

To add insult to injury, the lawyer at the centre of this bullshit,

Duemmer Wrigley is due to appear at an employment tribunal where she,

yes she, is being accused of harassment for daring to claim that being

gender-critical was a 'protected belief', and the claim against both

her and DEFRA further suggest that the department nurtures an

"intimidating, hostile, degrading, humiliating and/or offensive

environment". In all honesty, have you ever heard of such bullshit in

your life?

Of course, it goes without saying that behind this there'll be some

ambulance-chasing type lawyer out to further their career by making

a name for themself if they win the case, and grovelling to the complainant

instead of telling him/her/it/animal/vegetable/mineral to get a grip and

go do one.

Next, I turn my attention to the 'all about me' driven, egocentric,

self-entitled, gender-bending, parenting screw-ups, and loony left,

liberal-leaning, mindless moron academics and campaigners who

promote gender identity ideology in classrooms. Hopefully, that

is a politically correct, and fully inclusive description of all

involved in this lunacy. If not, then I apologise and will try to

do better in future.

Anyway, to my point. In the words of Pink Floyd - "Teacher, leave

them kids alone". If you turn back a few blogs you will note that

I've stated pretty much all of the things that are wrong

nowadays started at the beginning of this millennium, when being

candid with you, our previously stoic and robust society began to

disintegrate into the monumental clusterfuck it is now.

I've dedicated a few pages to this grating subject in my book

'The Sexual Philanthropist'- (https://amzn.to/3TzI5AQ), and totally

agree with the views of JK Rowling, and many other sane, rational

people on the subject, which have again been further explored in

my previous blog posts.

Trans activist lunatics are somehow being allowed to run riot

where this subject is concerned, and dare a teacher go against

such indoctrination, or call a girl a boy and the proverbial will

instantly hit the fan, with the teacher drummed out of the job -

and possibly an entire career.

If, by now, you haven't yet noticed the link between the two

subjects of this blog you need to read again to understand

exactly how the millennials and their progeny should not, in any way,

be allowed anywhere near positions of responsibility and decisions

where feelings overrule fact, and a good place to start would be

for one, the biological difference between men and women.

Thank you for reading my Substack. This post is public so feel free to share it with others who will also enjoy my satiric overview of life.

#john langley #john langley blog #bristol #john langley bristol writer #john langley author #john langley tumblr #google #millennials #gen x #gender critical #gen z #trans #transgender #transgender trend #DEFRA #biological sex #only women have periods #jk rowling

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kirascottage · 3 years ago

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dating jj maybank

jj maybank x gender neutral. reader

word count: 1.8k

cw: headcanons, overall domestic fluff, angst if you squint till ur visions blurry, mentions of poor emotional expression, mentions of sex / sexual innuendos, mentions of fighting / injury, strong pda, kissing, consensual groping, swearing, soft!jj

okay so this is the first time i’ve ever written dating headcanons so i’m gonna try my best

• jj and expressing emotions are a very complicated duo and almost everyone knows it, including you. he knows how he feels for you, and feels it strongly, but the way it comes out of his mouth is like gibberish and completely not understandable.

“so you know — like — i don’t know, man. i feel heavy for you, like do you feel heavy for me, too?”

“jj, i don’t even know what heavy means in this context and what you’re referring to.”

• but he comes from a good place, and you come to know, learn and love that, because well he loves you, and with jj you just have to infer by his mess of words.

• this boy tries to be as romantic as possible but he’s literally never had a s/o before. the only thing he knows are one nighters so there is a lot that pope and john b advise him on because miscommunication is quite literally the worst. (stated by john b himself)

• for this instance and the sake of the headcanons: you are a member of the pogues, through and through.

• so most of the time you’re together, the pogues are there too. even dates. they love to occupy and jj could shout at the top of his lungs how they are the biggest cock-blockers to ever exist and they would not care.

• so at that point he doesn’t even try to keep his hands to himself, he will touch you or quite literally make out with you in front of anyone and everyone he can.

• i mean he can get a little protective. (also considering he would never let you around his dad because he wants to protect you and would never let you near anyone that could hurt you)

• i mean this guy would fight for you till the very end; punches thrown countless of times and harsh words absolutely shouted more times than you could count on your fingers, but no matter how many times you chastise jj, he would never stop to defend your honour because at the end of the night you’re the one playing with his hair and kissing his cuts and bruises.

• especially after everything as well with rafe, topper and the kooks he just wants everyone (including the tourons you see once a millennium) to know that you and him are romantically involved and you are very much taken.

• he even lets the most irrelevant people know the both of you are dating because he loves you that much:

“okay, babe, here me out—”

“jj a whole group of kids just asked me about our relationship! i love you, but the whole population does not need to know that we’re together.”

“obviously we can't tell the whole population! or I would, duh.”

• even though he could blabber on about everything about you, including what shampoo you use and which perfume of yours is his favourite, affection is more his style:

• this includes walking around with his hand in your back pocket because wearing anything but jean shorts is really not an option in that heat, (and this does include ass grabbing at every opportunity he can)—

• — his hand gently placed on your thigh while driving / while he’s next to you, interlocking pinkies 98% of the time as you walk together —

• — and peppering kisses is always happening. whether they’re ticking at your checks, suffocating your neck or affectionately placed on your forehead he’s always kissing you.

• other key, and essential, things that come to mind are that his arm is always around you; after everything that’s happened to him he just needs to physically know you’re there and that’s enough to subdue him.

• it’s almost routine for him arm to go around your waist or your shoulder, whether you’re tall or short, tbh he doesn’t really care, his arms and lips are always on you.

• dating jj is dating a teenage boy with absolutely no impulse control and zero control over what he says—

“I mean, dude, if you think about it, why isn’t a banana called a yellow if an orange is called an orange? and why are phones called ‘telephones’ like who the fuck came up with that crap?”

“i mean, hey, we could bang out here and it’s not like anyone would know. like jb could be out in the living room and be like clueless.”

“jj, there’s two windows pointing directly at us. i think he would know.”

• —if you don’t understand then he definitely does not either.

• you also flip each other off a lot and people are like ??? but you both are like — fuck you —(affectionate & full of love with my middle fingers)

• one thing he does know is how to flatter you, whether he’s obnoxiously winking at you or bringing you flowers with his tips from work, or he picked them himself, it’s all in the effort.

• any effort from you is like kids getting their favourite toy they’ve been wanting on christmas, for instance: anytime you bring him food, or offer to stay with him at john b’s is like swelling up his heart to the maximum.

• so when he’s not with you, or the pogues, which is rare he is outside. and jj is like diego the explorer he always finds little places just for himself, or for this instance with you.

• so a lot of dates include going to these secluded spots: sometimes it’s a picnic, or a walk, and stargazing is his absolute favourite as he listens to you drone on about the constellations and even just watching the sky with your presence next to him is so comforting and makes him feel safe.

• of course when the pogues find out they’re brutal with their teasing.

“awww, look at the cute and happy couple!”

“my wittle babies, growing up so fast.”

“god, kie, you make it sound like we’re five?!”

• speaking of alone time, jj loves to cuddle when you guys are alone and that’s one thing he’s not fond of being teased about.

• his head is firm on your chest, his arms wrapped around your waist and his leg flung over your hips. to him it’s just a perfect way to start and end the day.

• he also loves to watch movies while cuddling and he has a set of movies and their genres completely memorized for the occasion.

• he has such a good memory to the weirdest things. like he can state in the exact order your makeup routine, or talk about all the caves and sinkholes in yukatan but ask him how many states there are in america and he’s completely bummed.

• back to what i was saying, cuddling and movie times together.

• he’s the little spoon i will not argue with anyone about this, especially if something happened that day.

• like if rafe pissed him off, some kooks stepped on his toes, his dad had been particularly agitated that day or he was just frustrated. your embrace is what keeps his together. he just loves the feeling of your arms around him, essentially protecting him.

• and the pogues always get a kick out of it when they see you too snuggled in the morning. they even take pictures, a lot of pictures of everything and anything they can.

• their fav times to take pictures is when you both are off guard: like when he’s putting his hat on you, he’s sharing his juul with you, you guys are laying together on the boat or maybe your surfing together in the water.

• he’s surprisingly intimate about everything even though they’re such mundane things for him.

• he expresses his love for you by actions rather than words. for example, he has a guitar (an absolutely beat up one with missing strings and chipped wood, but he says it has more character that way as well as your signature on the back of it)—

• —and just strums it for you absolutely whenever and however your mood is because no matter what its always calming. sometimes he even hums a little tune or starts singing a bit.

• another few ways he depicts his love for you is by shoving his baseball hat on your head (the one that absolutely nobody is allowed to wear) because he doesn’t want you frying in the sun or dying of heatstroke.

• a lot of his tank tops are now yours because they’re so comfortable and you can wear them literally anywhere.

• he shares, only with you but, he shares. his rings are on your fingers, his bandana is around your neck, his boxers are your sleep shorts, and he absolutely eats that shit up.

• he also gets extremely comfortable with you, like even more than john b in a way. example: you could just be chilling, his arm wrapped around your neck and — boom — he’s shoving your face in his armpit and trying to tickle you.

• it gets to the point where the pogues are so used to it and sometimes even they join in because they even like being included in on your affections but would absolutely rather drown than admit it. they love watching their two best friends love grow for each other, and they're happy jj has found sanctuary to love and be with someone freely.

• speaking of love, jj is also like a puppy: praise, reassurance and kisses are the way to his heart and staying there.

• i’m gonna say it, jj has self confidence and love issues. they are not detectable at all but with his mother gone and the way his father treated him, there’s shit buried in his heart that it takes awhile for him to open up about.

• once he does: he cries, and he cried a lot. but after that it was like never letting go again. he trusts you with his whole heart and soul and he knows you won’t take advantage of that.

• the way you both accept each other into each others lives is so important to him no matter where you live, who you are and what your family is like everything counts for him and that just makes you the person who you are.

• dating jj can be complicated and messy and wonderful and passionate and relationships aren’t easy but he would def be worth it <3

#jj maybank x routledge!reader #jj maybank x pogue!reader #jj maybank x kook!reader #jj maybank x plus size reader #jj maybank x oc #jj maybank x y/n #jj maybank x you #jj maybank fanfiction #jj maybank x reader #jj maybank #jj maybank fluff #jj maybank fic #jj maybank hc #jj maybank headcanon #outerbanks fic #outerbanks smut #outerbanks fanfiction #outer banks

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harryspet · 4 years ago

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cement walls | bucky barnes

[Warnings] dark!bucky barnes x reader, non/dubcon sex, fingering, kidnapping, forced pregnancy, confined spaces, Stockholm syndrome(?), post-blip bucky, bucky needs some therapy, forced gender roles

[A/N] uhm so this is what i’ve been working on and like usual i have no idea where i wanna take it :):) i haven’t posted in a long while so i figured i would put this out there for some feedback! this is pretty much inspired by Room if you’ve seen that movie. [gif credit to https://jamesbrnes.tumblr.com/]

In which the outside world is too dangerous for you and Bucky is the only one who can protect you.

taglist: @cherienymphe @lovelynerdytraveler @buckysbunny @hollandsdream @micki-smiles @buckybarnesplumwhore @arts-ismything @saharzek @what-is-your-wish @brattypeony @hermayone @buckysugar @mischiefmanaged011 @visintaes @watercoolerpaint @disaster-rose @slutforsebstan @doozywoozy

main masterlist

word count: 3.3k

Within the cement walls that surrounded your home, you imagined that you had your own little planet. You spent hours of your days thinking about what surrounded you, if there were floating rings like Saturn had, the constellations you could make out only if you could only see the entire sky, and how the sun would really feel on your bare skin. You were beginning to forget what that felt like and you sat below the skylight trying to reach into your mind and remember.

Maybe you should be grateful that there was even a skylight at all and that there was enough room for a small kitchen and bathroom. You imagined that's what he thought. You could move around freely with no chains so you should be grateful. Almost three-hundred square feet of your new planet that you should be glad to have. Except you didn’t even own the ground you stood on, this planet wasn’t really yours, you were just an astronaut trapped in space.

That morning, you scrubbed the floors, not only because the military man preferred organization but also because the small space got dirty quickly. After taking your vitamins, extra Vitamin D of course, and munching on a stale granola bar, you got to work. You made the twin bed up, making sure the sheets were tucked in tightly before organizing the small amount of clothes in the wardrobe.

When you heard the beeping of the keypad outside the door, you stood up, shutting the wardrobe. You weren’t expecting him, not having gotten to the kitchen yet, but alas your moon man appeared. You couldn’t help it, you always looked past him to see what you could have of the outside world. You saw nothing, his figure was only surrounded in darkness as he shut it quickly, and it beeped as the metal door locked again.

It was like he liked the idea of you not knowing where you were. He’d brought you into this room unconscious so you had no idea whether you were still in Louisiana or not. For all you knew, you could be floating in space and it wouldn’t matter.

The tall man’s hair was cut short, like he’d just gotten a haircut, and you hated that the room was already beginning to smell like his cologne. He held a brown bag of what you assumed were groceries, “You haven’t been here in more than two weeks. I’ve been cleaning my clothes in the sink. I started rationing food t-thinking you weren’t going to come back.”

He set the bag down on the small kitchen table and you watched his eyes roam over the dirty dishes, “I wouldn’t leave you here, doll face,” Bucky assured you, “C’mere.” He waved you over and you stepped forward cautiously.

“W-Where did you go?”

He reached up to hold your face, the leather brushing against your cheeks as he looked you over. You wore a green smock dress with a cardigan tightly over you, the box having been cold the past few days, “I had business. Far away business.”

“You’ve never been gone this long.”

“Did you miss me that much?” You wanted to roll your eyes. If Bucky didn’t come back, you’d die in probably the worst way possible and no one would know what happened to you, “I brought you back plenty of groceries, I even got you some oreos and that fancy bread you like.”

“Bucky …. I-I was so so scared. You don’t understand-” He leaned down to kiss you and when your lips didn’t move against his, he grabbed you roughly by your hair. You held in your yelp as you forced your lips to move against his. He held your hips, deepening the kiss and when he pulled away, his hands were still in your hair.

“I’m here now, “ He looked at you sharply, tugging your hair a bit, “But it seems you can’t keep the kitchen clean, no matter how much time I give you.”

“I’m sorry,” You apologized, the words slipping out before you could even register them.

He gestured his head over to the sink, “Get to it. And the groceries as well.”

You moved past him, turning on the warm water before grabbing a sponge. You felt his eyes on your back as you began to clean all the pots and pans you’d been using. You heard the rattling of his belt, his jeans being pulled down, the sound of his boots being stacked to the side, and the grunt he let out when he tossed his jacket over the kitchen chair.

When you placed everything in the drying rack, you moved onto the bag of groceries. He had gotten the bread you liked so you had something to look forward to that week, “I had to see that lady again.”

“You mean your therapist?”

“It’s court mandated bullshit,” You looked over and he was examining your desk and bookshelf. All the books you had were given to you by him and all the decorations were paper origami that you’d gotten good at making.

“What did you guys talk about?” You asked hesitantly, putting things away in the cabinet.

“She thinks I need more friends, more social interactions I suppose but that’s what she says every week,” You heard your bed creak as he sat down, “Hey, make me a cup of coffee, doll.”

“Oh,” It was clear that whatever that therapist was doing, wasn’t work, the biggest piece of evidence being the girl he was holding captive right now. You moved over to the coffee pot, pouring what was left into his favorite mug, “Do you … ever talk about me?”

You could feel his body stiffen even from across the room.

“Why would I?” When you turned around, his eyebrows were furrowed, his hands on his knees.

You crossed the small room with the cup in hand, “Well, you interact with me. I’m like your friend, right?” You handed him the drink, standing back as you watched him take a sip, hoping he’d be satisfied with it.

“You know why I can’t tell her about you, Y/N.”

You shook your head, “Yeah, I was just thinking … “ You sat down a few feet away from him, “Does anyone else know about me?”

“You’re curious today.”

“It’s not like I have much entertainment in here,” You said a little more snarky than you intended. You felt his mechanical arm push into the mattress beside you as he turned his head, “Sorry … when do you think I’ll get to leave the room? Not outside, just out of the room. Maybe to where you sleep at night.”

“If you’re going to be like this today-”

“Forget I said anything,” You smiled weakly, “Please.”

Bucky set down his cup on the small nightstand before he urged you closer. You scooted closer and he gently pushed your head down until it was resting in his lap. You felt his cold hand through your sweater and the other through your hair, “I know what it’s like … feeling trapped,” You pulled your feet onto the bed and he continued to stroke your hair and you welcomed the comforting touch.

“Then why …”

He shushed you, “Mind over matter, Y/N. It’s all about training your mind to adjust. You’re safer here, you’re taken care of here, and your mind is still trying to convince you that you don’t belong here.”

“I wouldn’t try to escape if I could just stay with you…”

He shushed you again, “I spent decades frozen and then, after that, I was trapped in my own mind. Now everyone’s trying to convince me that I have this new chance to survive in the world. They genuinely think of this new century as being so amazing, so much technology, and opportunities but it’s a lie, Y/N. This world is nothing but danger and death. You’re much better without it.”

You felt a tear roll down your cheeks. You felt like the chains around you were only getting heavier. He was so delusional that you thought it would be easier to start believing him, “Please don’t leave for that long again.”

Bucky sighed, “I’ll stay here for the night. How does that sound?”

You hiccuped, “T-Thank you.”

Later that night, you were lying beside bucky in the small bed. He was fast asleep but you were wide awake, looking up at the skylight. The full moon was lighting up the room. Carefully, you tossed your feet over the bed, doing your best not to disturb the soldier. You got onto the floor, crawling towards the carpet in the middle of the room. Oftentimes, when you couldn’t sleep, you’d lay down and stare up at the moon.

You stayed like that for lord knows how long, drifting into a place where all your thoughts were silent.

“What are you doing?” You sat up quickly, your heart racing as his gruff voice snapped you from your trance.

He was shirtless, standing above you, and rubbing his tired eyes. You simply pointed up, “The moon.”

“Get back in bed,” He commanded groggily.

You scooted over slightly, “I can’t sleep ... just come look with me. It’s beautiful.”

“You act like you’ve never seen the fucking moon before, Y/N,” His frustration caught you off guard as he reached down to grab you by your arm. You didn’t mean to but, on instinct, you flinched away. That only led him to grabbing your harder, and you stumbled as he pulled you up, “Get in the bed. You scare me to death when I wake up and can’t feel you.”

“If you care so much then why do you leave me in here for weeks on end.”

His eyes flickered with hurt for a moment, “I won’t … ever again. You need far too much discipline for me to let you be on your own for so long.” You rolled your eyes as you turned away, walking towards the bed.

He grabbed you roughly by your waist, pushing you onto the bed. He pushed you further into the mattress, his hand on the back on your neck, and you were reminded just how cruel he could be. There was a point months ago when you stopped fighting it, knowing in the end he would overpower you, but sometimes your spark appeared.

He lifted your nightgown easily, knowing he wouldn’t find any underwear to tear off, and his hand cupped between your legs. As you struggled beneath him, he felt you, rubbing and running his fingers over your lips, “Me being deep inside you seems to correct your mood. Is that what you need from me, doll face?”

Your spark appeared and went quickly, knowing he could feel your wetness, giving him the permission to sink two of fingers inside you. He moved slow, his knees pressed deep into the bed, as he watched your lips part with a gasp.

“That’s it …”

This was his favorite, knowing he could get you off with just his fingers, his fingers curling against your most sensitive areas. He fastened his pace, pushing in and out of you as you lay there bent over. Knowing you were nearing an orgasm you were sure not to run away from, he moved his vibranium arm from your neck and underneath you where he stimulated your sensitive bud.

“That’s my girl,” He coaxed you as he sent you into a shaking fit, “You finish so well on my fingers, so beautifully.” You came hard, Bucky enjoying the vulnerable view of your face. As he let you go, you pushed down your gown and laid down on your side. The bed dipped as he took a seat, rubbing your thighs as the post-orgasm regret filled you.

“You ever think you have some control over me, I want you to remember this.”

8 months later …

You flipped through the channels six channels that the old television would provide. The soldier thought buying you one would decrease your book intake which he was struggling to keep up with as you read several per week. He wasn’t a fan of technology but the two of you had a long argument about it and he eventually caved.

You weren’t sure if he knew but the TV picked up a local news channel and you got a glimpse into what the world had been like over the past year. Every now and then, there’d be a mention of Sam Wilson and you figured that’s who he was disappearing with when he was gone for weeks at a time.

As you neared closer and closer to your due date, he’d grown nicer than usual, though the way he’d gotten you pregnant wasn’t pleasant at all. “You complain so much about being lonely.” He had said when you’d missed your period, “This is what you wanted, right?”

You weren’t sure if you were just nauseous from the pregnancy or if the idea of raising a baby in that room was making you sick to your stomach. Sometimes you caught yourself being selfish, thinking about having someone to take care of and take up your time. Having someone who could love you properly, in a way that Bucky didn’t quite understand.

“How’s my girl? And how’s my mini me?” Bucky was an abnormally good move when he came down to visit you that night. He was carrying magazines in his hand and you crossed the room, curious to see the details, “I thought you might want to look at nursery stuff.”

“There’s gonna be a nursery,” Your lips pulled into a smile, “Where?”

“Here,” He gestured around and your smile fell, “You can’t be too far from the little tike. I was thinking we could put the crib where your desk is.”

You took the magazines from him, resting them on your protruding stomach, “Oh …” You tried not to sound sad, “You don’t think that maybe the space is too small? I mean, a mom and baby and sometimes you, that’s a lot of people for one room. And when they get older ….” You imagined having a happy little baby but you tried not to think about your child growing up in a box.

“When he gets older, we’ll think about it then,” He stated, already gendering the baby without any actual knowledge. He refused to let you see a doctor, only brought you prenatal vitamins, expecting that you’d have a smooth delivery right here in the room, “For now, it’s plenty of room.”

You nodded, “When he gets older, will you take him outside the room? Kids need space to play and get fresh air.”

“I’ll think about it, Y/N,” Bucky’s lips pressed into a thin line.

You didn’t want to push the issue further, not wanting to spoil his mood, “I think a light green will be a good, neutral color for everything. Maybe we can decorate his side of the room.”

He smiled, “Whatever you’d like, doll face.”

You crossed the room, setting the magazines down on your desk, and a scary idea crossed your mind. A scary idea and chance you might just have to take if it meant you could get help. You were getting nowhere screaming at the top of your lungs, hoping for someone to hear you, and asking Bucky over and over again just to let you have fresh air. He was suffocatingly protective and that didn’t seem like it was gonna change. You couldn’t let him do that to your child.

You made dinner and he slept over that night, his vibranium hand holding your waist the entire night.

You planned to catch him off guard the next morning, figuring you’d have the best chance of causing a panic while he was still tired. You got up, whispering that you had to use the restroom, and you slipped inside the room. You read somewhere that only a fourth cup of water comes out when your water breaks, so you fill a cup before drenching your underwear, legs and the bathroom floor.

“Bucky!” You shouted, making sure you looked scared in the mirror, “Bucky!”

The door almost flew off its hinges as the soldier went into full alert. His eyes were wide, examining you, “What-What happened?”

“I-I think my water broke,” A tear slipped down your cheek.

“It’s too early,” He shook his head, running his fingers through his hair, “A-Are you sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure. All the books say it's a gushing feeling and that was definitely gushing.”

“Maybe we should wait … we can wait and see if contractions start-”

You shook your head furiously, cautiously stepping forward, “We have to see a Doctor. W-We have to … contractions are supposed to start before my water breaks a-and I’m only 29 weeks. I can’t have the baby naturally.”

“But-”

“We have to! Please, Bucky, a-all I care about is the baby. Please, I don’t want to lose them. Please don’t make me-”

“Okay, okay,” He nodded, grabbing your face as he wiped your tears, “Uhm …. let's get dressed. There’s a thirty minute drive to the hospital,” You nodded and his eyes narrowed at you, “This is for the baby, remember that. You pull anything and-”

“I know,” You placed your hand over your stomach, pulling away from his grasp.

Your body was heavy when he led you out of that room. You felt your reality shifting as you entered the world again. What surprised you most was how normal the rest of the home was, not particularly homey, but it was nice and spacious. There was even a full front yard and, sadly, you imagined the happy family that could have lived here. You half-expected him to have a wife and kids that he was hiding you from.

Now, sitting in the hospital bed, you watched him paced around, not paying attention to what the Doctor was saying.

“So she’s not in labor? She felt her water breaking.”

“No, Sir. Based on the ultrasound, the amniotic fluid levels are normal. I’m not sure what happened, could be a multitude of things, but it was most likely a false alarm. But don’t worry, it happens all the time. And your baby looks very healthy.”

You opened your mouth to say something but Bucky’s eyes narrowed at you, a warning.

“Okay, thank you, Doc.”

“Do you two have a primary obstetrician? One isn’t listed-”

“Are we free to leave?”

The Doctor took another look at you, as if he was trying to understand our relationship, but if he noticed anything, he didn’t say it, “Yes, you’re free to go. I would just make sure to keep a sharp eye out and give your obstetrician a call if you have a question-”

“Of course, thanks, Doc,” Bucky nodded as he forced a smile. With his dark jacket and black gloves, it was hard for him not to look intimidating.

The Doctor looked down at you with a warm smile, “Let me know if you need anything, ma’am.”

Say something.

If you were going to say something, this would be the time. Why did Bucky have such a hold on you even outside of the room?

As soon as the Doctor left the room, Bucky turned away, frustratedly packing up your bag, “Get up, get dressed, let’s go.”

“Bucky, I really did think-”

“If you don’t want someone in this hospital to get hurt, I’d get dressed and keep your mouth shut.”

You moved your legs to the side, real tears beginning to fall down your face, as you struggled to get your dress on. Bucky noticed your sniffling from the corner of his eye. He moved towards you, kneeling down beside the bed, “Hey, I’m sorry …. I’m just stressed out. I don’t like you being here ... but everything is going to be okay. Our baby is perfectly healthy and we’ll be home soon. There will be no more interruptions after this.”

You couldn’t even bring yourself to nod in agreement knowing that your own opinion didn’t matter. Bucky was god, enforcing his will on you, and claiming he knew best. You felt so small in comparison to him but there had to be something left within you that could keep fighting, that could keep you from going willingly back into that room-

“Y/N?”

You perked up, “Yes?”

“C’mon doll face, let’s go home.”

hope you enjoyed! not sure where i want to take this so feedback will be much appreciated!

#dark fic #dark fics #dark bucky barnes #bucky barnes #bucky barnes au #bucky barnes x reader #dark!bucky x you #dark!bucky smut #stockholm syndrome #bucky barnes x black!reader #dark!bucky

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bubbleteaimagines · 4 years ago

Note

Allo Can I be blessed with some Porco headcanons with a female reader whose from Paradise ;;c;; Both fluff angst n smut >~< Thank uu

Porco dating someone from Paradis Island

Porco Galliard Headcanon

Warnings: NSFW Content

ALSO SPOILERS!! IF YOU HAVENT READ THE MANGA!! I REPEAT SPOILERS!!

when you and porco first met, neither of you knew of the others identity

porco had just gotten back from war and you were there to infiltrate marley for information

in fact, you both seemed to be running from who were supposed to be, just wanting a break from your destinies

this caused you both to somehow end up by the ocean one day, just when the sun was setting

you had been sitting close to the shore, the water lapping at your feet when all of a sudden a voice caught your attention

“hey—! wha—! you’re not supposed to be here!”

not expecting for anyone to actually be down there that time of night, you quickly whipped around with alarm in your eyes

“w-whose there?” you ask nervously, terrified that you were gonna get caught and your cover was gonna be blown

after all, levi had specifically forbid you from wandering off

“the tickle monster— who the hell do you think? no citizens are supposed to—”

when porco finally came into the light and he saw you sitting there, eyes wide as your sundress blew in the wind, he was immediately taken aback

not only were you trespassing, but you were also...different

whether it was your skin, your eyes, or just simply the fact that he had never seen you before, porco was astonished

“i-i’m sorry! please don’t tell! i didn’t mean to, i—”

“hey, hey,” immediately his entire demeanor changed. “don’t worry, i’m not gonna tell. how could i rat out a beautiful lady like yourself?”

from that day forwards, you both were gone

you began to see each other again and again and again, at first just by pure coincidence, but then it soon became intentionally

porco would purposely seek out the pretty girl wearing pretty dresses, and you’d sometimes linger in the marketplace to see if he’d be there

it wasn’t long before you two began hanging out

porco asked to accompany to the beach again and since he was a high ranking eldian he was allowed there

of course, he didn’t tell you that

both of you kept your identies a firm secret, but neither of you knew

you just thought that maybe he was a high ranking soldier and he assumed that you were marleyan bc you didn’t wear an armband

you and porco became extremely close and it wasn’t long before a relationship blossomed

porco was horrible at being romantic, but he tried, he really did try for you

he’d bring you flowers, buy you little things of chocolate bc he knew it was your favorite

he’d try to leave you little love letter in the morning and it’d absolutely melt your heart

he’d spoil you and use his status to take you to the finest restaurants in liberio

sometimes when you were out people would recognize porco, but he’d always keep the interactions brief

when it came to porco, you probably didn’t know much about him

he was kinda closed off, and he wanted to seem strong to you so he never shared much

but that was okay— what he did share was enough for you

when it came to you though, he’d want to know all about you

he could stay up for hours listening to you explain your childhood, leaving out the parts where you were really from

he’d love knowing about you and would hold you close, often falling asleep to your stories

really, porco was a gentle yet protective lover

he could be extremely jealous and it translated into the bedroom

sex with him was rough, with porco being the dominant most of the time

he loved to mark you and degrade you, wanting you to scream out who exactly you belonged to

he’d pound you into the mattress and tell you what a good little slut you were and then he’d make you cum all over him

afterwards, he’s not much for aftercare lol but at least he’d hold you?

if he fell for you quickly then he’d probably introduce you to pieck

and she would LOVE you, thinking how it was cute that porco was so mean to everybody else but so soft around his girl

he likes touching you, that’s for sure

always has an arm slung around you

in all honesty, he’d be an amazing boyfriend and uwu but you know it’s not gonna last...

technically, you and porco were doomed from the start

he was lying to you about who he was, liking the fact that you loved him, not the jaw titan, ‘marley hero.’

you were lying to him, not even from marley and an island devil that they seemed to hate

your love came to a boiling point, eventually

when you both found out who the other truly was, both you and porco were shocked— like hella shocked

you were on the battlefield, defending eren when all of a sudden you spotted porco and pieck from up above

you wanted to scream and abandon everything right then and there, to tell them both to get the hell out of there

but then,,, porco looked up and saw you using ODM gear, wearing the same suit as the people attacking marley

his eyes widened, not even believing it as betrayal and anger seeped through his veins

“y/n!”

you’d be so terrified to face him

you’d probably break down crying and explain that you hadn’t meant for it to be this way— you didn’t mean to lie and yes, you truly did love porco

but then,,, you’d be exposed to his own little secret

as marley soliders began shooting at you, yelling at you to get away from the warriors, porco would suddenly scoop you up and transform to shield you from their bullets

everybody, including your comrades, was absolutely dumbfounded to see him throw you on his back and run away with you

and you’d be literally frozen, not even believing this was happening

“what...the...fuck...”

porco kept you safe during the entire battle, up until he decided to take eren on

you couldn’t lie, even though your relationship was probably gonna be in shambles after that it hurt so bad to see him just laying there, not even knowing if he was alive

you tried to find out, you tried to go towards him and yank him out of his titan but jean swooped in and tackled you at the last second

you were a crying mess but he held you, kicking and screaming and all, not letting go until you were safely on the plane

“jean, please! you guys don’t understand — i have to go back! i have to see—!”

“i’m sorry, y/n, but this is for the best. you have to let go, you may never see him again.”

for the next few months, or years that you were separated from porco, you’d be a hollow mess

It’d take some time for you to forgive him, and him you

for the longest he stayed on marley, bitter and cursing your name

cursing himself for falling in love with an island devil

he hated you, he wanted to kill you...only...he didn’t

deep down porco knew that he still loved you

and he carried that love everywhere with him, even if it tore him apart inside

he was stuck between wanting to be in your arms again and wanting to be loyal to marley

after finding out where you were from, he’d have so much rage and so many questions

you were a devil, yes, but...were you?

you were so sweet and compassionate and kind...how could you be?

you were the exact opposite of what porco had been taught

you weren’t a devil...marley had lied

they had lied and filled him with all this hatred for people he didn’t even know

it infuriated him, and it saddened him that he couldn’t be with you all because he was brainwashed

for the time that you were apart, porco was a mess

he hardly looked alive anymore, only thinking about you day and day out

he longed for the day he’d see you again

and when he did—

all hell was breaking loose, AGAIN

marley was declaring war on paradis

there were people everywhere, titans ranging about, eren being...eren

you of course were on the front lies, just trying to survive when you suddenly spotted him

could it be? no...

you didn’t wanna believe it at first

you couldn’t

you only stared at porco’s scrunched up face in shock, not moving despite that being incredibly dangerous

likewise, porco was shocked to see you there, alive and once again fighting for paradis

it felt just like the first time, but this time you both had months to prepare your words

and the first thing you said to each other?

“i’m sorry.”

the words shocked both you and porco even further, but it felt...right

“y/n...i’m so sorry i—”

“please, pock i should be the one to apologize. i lied, i know i did. but i—”

“i lied too. we both did. guess that’s why we were made for each other,” porco chuckled humorously, you nodding in agreement

for a moment, you both just stood there looking at each other

but then, months of tension boiled over and finally you just kissed, in the middle of the battlefield

“uh, guys? that’s romantic and all but FUCKING FOCUS WILL YOU?”

porco promises he’ll find you after the battle

and what do you know, he keeps his promise and after that you guys live happily ever after the manga doesn’t exist

#porco snk #porco aot #porco galliard x reader #porco galliard #porco x reader #attack on titan x reader #attack on titan imagine #shingeki no kyoujin fanfiction #shingeki no kyoujin imagine #shingeki no kyoujin x reader #shingeki no kyojin #asks #spicytea.txt

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nakachuchu · 4 years ago

Text

12:00 AM | Ryomen Sukuna (nsfw)

SYNOPSIS: Modern AU - You have a private swimming pool and you're your boyfriend's good girl.

READER: rich bimbo! female

INCLUDES: sub/dom, pool sex, biting, choking, unprotected sex, creampie, semi breeding kink, semi voyeurism, semi tummy bulge, semi corruption kink, praise kink

WORDS: 1265

WRITTEN: 05/25/2021

NOTES: Thank you @bakugohoex for requesting from my time event! There wasn't much smut or bimbo reader in this, but I still hope you enjoyed! I also made it a private pool because germs ✨

You came from a rich family. You even had your own mansion because of how rich your daddy was. You were an adult anyway, so it didn't matter.

You didn't have the best taste in people, whether it be friends or boyfriends. You attracted bad energy, which included Sukuna.

He was your college's resident bad boy, and whenever the two of you were together, eyes were drawn to you. He was always dressed in red or black, while you wore lighter colors. He was always brooding with a cigarette between his lips, while you were always clinging onto him with a black, metal card between your fingers.

Even though you had dated trashy men before, people warned you about Sukuna. They knew he was bad news—far worse than your exes.

But they were wrong. Sukuna might have dealt drugs and participate in hazing people beneath him—yes, he would also beat up people in the school's courtyard or blackmail someone—but he was always sweet to you.

Of course, he showed it in his own way. People thought he was using you because you were rich, but it was far from it. Any chance he got, he wanted to pamper you. He was a good drug dealer, after all.

You couldn't understand why he wanted to use his own money on you because you always paid for all your past boyfriends' items.

Sukuna was a sweetheart to you. If someone was making fun of you, he'd break their wrist or maybe plaster their nudes all around campus. If a man dared to try and flip your skirt up to get a good look at your ass, Sukuna would break his nose and kick him until he could barely breathe—yes, it did in fact happen in real life.

You were his cute princess, after all. He'd do anything to protect you.

The two of you met in the school's courtyard when you had been stood up by your boyfriend at the time. You were sniffling all alone, sitting on the edge of the fountain with a designer purse to your side and pink platform heels.

He flirted with you, thinking you were a cute girl that oddly resembled a bunny. He was wrong when you started muttering curses and threats about voodoo and paying your daddy's men to take care of your boyfriend for you. That was when he knew you would be fun to be around.

Tonight, Sukuna came over for a swim. It was midnight, but the two of you were night owls anyway. There was a bottle of champagne for you and vodka for him by the side of the pool.

You were wearing a skimpy, little swimsuit that barely hid anything but Sukuna liked it like that. He didn't care what you wore in public because he was always around you with an arm around your waist and a hand groping your ass.

" 'ku, you okay?" you asked, tilting your head to the side as you blinked at him.

The two of you were in the water, by the edge. Sukuna was leaning against it, tilting his head back.

Just beneath him were the city lights. Your mansion was on the top of a hill, so you had a great view. Your pool was by the edge as well, creating a slight waterfall for any excess water that spilled out from the pool.

He combed his wet fingers through his hair, slicking it back before grabbing your chin with his hand and bringing you in for a kiss.

"I will be when you get these fucking bottoms off."

You giggled, wrapping your arms around him as you brought him in for another kiss.

His hands traveled under the water, slipping to your waist and the hem of your swimsuit bottoms before he undid them and tore them off.

His hand slid between your folds, flicking against your clit. You moaned against his lips and you could feel him smirk.

You could feel the hard bulge of his cock rubbing against your thigh. The thought of his fat cock filling your cunt up made you wet.

" 'ku, want it now," you whined.

"Impatient princess," he scolded with a quiet tsk.

You whined, slipping one hand down into the water to palm his bulge. You wrapped your finger around the drawstrings of his swim trunks and tugged lightly.

"Please, 'ku? I've been good this week," you mumbled.

It didn't matter if you were good or not because you usually always were. You followed him around like a lost puppy, always eager to please your master.

He hummed and leaned in, pressing his nose to your neck before opening his mouth to nibble.

You squirmed around, but he held you in place. Your fingernails dug into his shoulder as he sunk his teeth into the juncture of your shoulder.

His hands traveled to your ass, lifting you onto his lap. You whimpered at the feeling of his cock pressed against your cunt. He licked the blood off your shoulder and chuckled.

You rutted your hips, rubbing your cunt over his bulge. He squeezed your ass, letting your hands tug at his swim trunks and pull them down.

You positioned his cock at your cunt and sat down, letting out a high-pitched whine. You wrapped your arms around him and started bouncing.

Sukuna chuckled and leaned back, watching your pretty face scrunch up. His black nails raked down your back. When he finally had enough of simply watching you, he turned you over and pushed you over the side of the pool.

You were in doggy position and his hands were digging into your hips. You let out babbles and hiccups as he thrust into you at an alarming pace. Your tits bounced back and forth, pressing against the cool tiles of the swimming pool.

" 'ku—Su—'kuna—Ha—"

He reached forward to wrap his hand around your neck, pulling you closer to him and arching your back.

"Yeah, princess?" he questioned. "Are you tryna say something?"

Your eyes were rolled back and you struggled to keep them open. Your mouth was parted with pretty pants and whimpers.

His hand squeezed your throat as he leaned to the side and drag his tongue across your cheek. His free hand reached down to rub your clit in circles.

"Be a good girl and cum, all right?"

" 'k-kuna—"

"Mhm, that's it. Use your pretty cunt to squeeze me dry."

You gasped for air as he filled you up with his hot cum. Your hand clawed at his wrist as he rutted his hips against you, making sure his cum stayed in. The head of his cock prodded at your cervix.

You fell limp against his chest, twitching. You felt so full with his cum and cock. You could feel your tummy bulge and the thought made you squirm.

He placed a hand on your ass, then slid his cock out before plugging your cunt with his thumb.

"Keep my kids nice and warm in there," he said as he picked you up and walked out of the pool.

You shuddered from the cool air, automatically clinging onto his shoulders as he carried you into the living room.

Despite the two of you being soaking wet, he placed you down onto the couch and slid his thumb out from your cunt, pressing it against your lips.

Automatically, your lips parted and you sucked on his thumb that was coated with his cum. Sukuna towered over you with a grin on his face at how submissive you were. He couldn't wait to fuck you again.

#jujutsu kaisen x reader #ryomen sukuna x reader #sukuna x reader

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