#of course he is. he's in everything dean does and everything sam refuses to do

[vivitalks]

i'm thinking john winchester thoughts tonight is it obvious

[physalian]

“Why doesn’t the villain just kill the heroes?”

Ah, plot armor. If you want to be a real go-getter and think up a more creative way for the heroes to always narrowly escape death out of sheer dumb luck, the villain being too slow on the draw, or the villain simply not thinking of it in the moment, you have to come up with a reason for why the villain doesn’t just kill the hero.

Four examples today.

1. Zhao & Aang

In “The Blue Spirit,” Aang is captured by Zhao, a man normally not above anything to further his agenda, including murder. The Avatar is the largest obstacle in his way, second to the Earth Kingdom, and all he has to do to take Aang off the gameboard is to kill a twelve-year-old. He’s got Aang in chains, not quite powerless but harmless enough, and could do it quickly.

So why doesn’t he? Per Zhao himself, if he kills Aang, the Avatar cycle will continue, born into some random water bender that may take them years to track down. Sure, they’ll be harmless for a few years and the Fire Nation might get lucky and find them easily, perhaps even sway the new one to their side, but what if the waterbending Avatar is born into the Foggy Swamp? Or they end up having to kill them, too, and then have to track down an earthbending Avtar across the entire Earth Kingdom? Does Zhao really want to take that chance when he can just keep Aang alive? Just barely?

Of course not.

Killing the hero in this case might stop the immediate threat, but it will just delay the inevitable, thus it’s in the villain’s best interest to exploit a loophole while likely committing war crimes in the process. He gets to secure a Fire Nation victory and make Aang suffer for the rest of his life.

Ozai doesn't kill Aang until the first chance he gets, which just so happens to be the series finale. And we all know why Aang has a no-kill policy.

2. Sam, Dean & The Angels and Demons

Hahaha it’s the show known for its refusal to kill its heroes. We’re gonna ignore everything past season 5. There’s obviously meta reasons—kill the main characters and you have zero supporting cast that could realistically take over the show.

But in season 4, despite multiple deaths already for both of them, so begins the “if you die we’ll just bring you back” threat, because they’re angels and angels can do that. Similar to Aang, Sam and Dean risk a fate far worse than death if they don’t cooperate with Zachariah’s plans. He happily gives them both a slew of diseases and illnesses to get his way whenever he gets the chance and reminds them both that if they just kill themselves to escape the Apocalypse, he’ll happily revive them. The Demons won't kill Sam and Dean because they're necessary to further their own plans by breaking certain seals on Lucifer's cage, though they're not above breaking bones and killing bystanders.

Fate worse than death is a popular threat, but usually the heroes offing themselves is still a viable, if deeply unpopular, option. Supernatural removes it entirely and for such a simple little detail, it does a lot to make their survivability believable.

3. Batman & Joker

Ahh the age old furious rant by people who don’t understand Batman: If Batman killed his villains they’d stop busting out of Arkham and murdering innocent civilians, Batman has so much blood on his hands—

Babe. Babe, he’s a comic book character. By his very nature, he can’t kill his villains otherwise he’d have no rogues gallery. Comic books are like a giant board of Monopoly, going around in circles and occasionally having a timeout in jail.

But the in universe reason there’s no killing has been essayed about extensively and so has why Joker doesn’t try harder to kill him, but I couldn’t not include these two. Batman does not kill because he is not judge, jury, and executioner of his villains, most of whom have mental health issues and while they certainly know better and their crimes aren’t justified, his villains need actual therapy and help and medication, not death. Even those who he might agree must be stopped and there’s no other way except murder, Batman himself will not be the one to pull the trigger. He must remain a hero, so that no matter who he comes across in the dark alleyways of Gotham, they know he’s not here to kill them, be it criminal or victim.

Joker doesn’t kill Batman for a much simpler reason, and Heath Ledger literally says it: “I won’t kill you because you’re too much fun.” He does not need a more convoluted reason, he enjoys the game, the chase, the tug of war (most versions of him, at least) and to kill Batman would be to end his greatest form of entertainment, and the only person probably in the whole world who is neither afraid of Joker nor dismissive of him as simply a freak.

4. Optimus and Megatron

Optimus Prime and Megatron are very similar to Batman and Joker but with literal eons of history between them. In most serialized Transformers media, as opposed to movies where the plot is more urgent, Megatron both wants to win Optimus over and just can't quite let himself finally win. Who is he without his rival, after all this time?

Optimus is in the same boat, refusing to kill him because he's still holding out hope for Megatron's redemption, that there's a peaceful way to end this war (no matter how much collateral both leaders end up causing). Shit gets real whenever Optimus breaks the unspoken rules of their no-kill rivalry and Megatron gets incredibly pissy about it because he's in love.

—

Suggestions to workshop this plot hole in your own narrative:

The hero staying alive is absolutely paramount to the villain’s plan (in which case, you have to have rock solid reasons for why they keep narrowly escaping capture)

The villain is so confident in their plan that they don’t even consider the hero a proper threat

The villain doesn't really have a bodycount, but if they kill the hero, suddenly all the other powers that be will take them seriously and they'll have a huge mess on their hands

The villain is so full of themselves or so in love with their rival that it’d break their heart to have to kill them just to win

The villain is simply not capable of murder either physically or morally (perhaps because the hero is a child)

Killing the hero would make them a martyr and the villain would end up with a far bigger mess on their hands when the lone hero is replaced with an avenging army

The villain is too proud to simply kill the hero and wants to win fairly in a proper fight on the battlefield and not take the cheap and easy shot

The villain does not have a phyiscal form or real presence in the plot, acting through their minions, and their minions are incompetent

It’s simply not fun if the hero dies/the hero is the only one who understands them and they’d lose far more than they’d gain by killing them

The villain still wants to try and win the hero over and is so dedicated to this path that they regularly sabotage their own plans desperate to change the hero’s mind

The villain firmly believes in a fate worse than death and while the hero’s survival isn’t crucial to the main plan, they want the hero to watch their own failure/become the villain’s minion/ prisoner/ partner by the end

There’s a million examples out there to pull from and I could keep listing them all night. So long as whatever it is doesn’t come out of nowhere or open a plot hole of “why didn’t they just do that earlier?” you can get quite creative.

One last example that’s a personal favorite of mine to implement: In Eternal Night of the Northern Sky there aren’t too many opportunities to ask this question, but when it does arise, Villain A has Hero B as a meat shield, and while Hero B’s love interest, Hero C, is more than happy to shoot through them to incapacitate Villain A, the person they take orders from isn’t so reckless, which later leads to Drama and Issues.

[sapphireisverygaymydudes]

Ok so I just finished season six of supernatural and I’m having so many thoughts now that I’ve actually seen all the shit I’ve heard about. Also thank you to @sparrow-the-tired-lesbian for putting up with this shit I’m so sorry I send so many words that you don’t understand. I also have to do a part two cause it’s that much I’m so sorry.

Cas needed help in heaven and he went to go ask Dean but he saw that Dean was happy. Dean got out and Cas just couldn’t bring himself to ruin Deans peace. Crowley used this vulnerability and Cas’ love for Dean to manipulate him and convince him to open purgatory. Cas only started down that path because he loved Dean too much to bring him into his issues.

Then throughout all of season six Sam and Dean call Cas for help and he always goes even when he’s literally in the middle of a battle. Like dude is so dedicated. And whenever Crowley tells Cas that it would be easier to just kill them Cas refuses because they’re his friends.

The Winchesters and Bobby are the first people to actually enjoy Cas and the first humans who actually like him. He’s so dedicated and loyal to them but when they find out he was working with Crowley wanna know who was most upset? Fucking Dean. Dean didn’t want to believe it either, he wanted so hard to believe that Cas wouldn’t work with Crowley cause it’s Cas.

But then of course Dean finds out it’s true and they both are just so hurt. Even after they’ve trapped him Cas tells them to run and he stalls so that they can get out. From that point on he is trying so hard to not hurt them and to get this done without them being involved. He finds out that Deans ex gf and “not his son” get kidnapped and he just about kills Crowley. But he still need Crowley to open purgatory cause he needs the power that is there. But he only needs that power to stop Raphael and he only needs to stop Raphael because Raphael wants to start the apocalypse back up but Cas doesn’t want that and he tried to stop the apocalypse the first time. But he only stopped the apocalypse the first time because he rebelled and fell in love with Dean.

Cas only needs Crowley to open purgatory because he couldn’t bring himself to disturb deans peace. After Dean finds out that Cas was spying on them and working with Crowley Dean is obviously pissed. But Cas keeps showing up and he keeps asking Dean to be patient. He talks about how he does everything Dean asks, he always helps them, and yet Dean won’t believe that he knows what he’s doing solely because he’s working with a demon. Cas keeps trying to tell Dean that he is doing this for a reason, because he needs to stop Raphael so that the world doesn’t end again but Dean won’t listen.

So eventually Cas opens purgatory and he gets all that power in there and then what does Dean try to do? He try’s to use the “I would’ve died for you, you’re family” and Cas calls him out on his bullshit. Cas knows now that he is only loved by them because he is useful. He is tired and done. He had to kill his favorite brother because he told Dean and Bobby where to go, he killed Raphael because he was too stubborn to accept that God is a douchebag and now he knows that the man he is in love with, the man he risked everything for many times, the guy whose become his father, his brother they only care about him when he’s useful.

They only call for him when they need something and he is done with it. If they won’t respect him he’ll become god and make them. And he does, he becomes god. He has tried and tried to get Dean to see it his way, he tells Dean that he only is reasoning with him now because Cas was right about the power from purgatory and Dean is scared. And Dean is scared, he’s terrified. Cas has so much power and he’s not acting right but Dean it’s kinda your fault. Dean refused to listen to believe that maybe this incredible being knew what he was doing and Cas wasn’t left with any other options.

Pt two here tumblr

[sammygender]

a lot of the clash between sam and john, aside from the obvious, seems to come from the fact that sam, wrt his dynamic in the family, is driven very much by his desire to understand... & john is diametrically opposed to this

that classic fight scene in s1 with john he starts off by firing questions at john and they're genuine questions - he is so angry at the fact that everything's being kept from him (& dean). and john has SO much he thinks he has to hide from sam. and sam must've always been able to sense this. and john just wants sam to shut up and do his job. so you get this dynamic between sam and john where sam is relentlessly, constantly pushing, because no matter what he can always sense there's something john isn't telling him and that john doesn't trust him (& can you imagine the awfulness that wreaks on his brain as a kid??? hes growing up and his older brother and his dad are in some secret little club he only gets access to later on and even then - even then he's never as close as they are to each other - of course he feels like hes fundamentally wrong and evil thats what john projects onto him, there must be something wrong with him for john to treat him like this), and also because none of it makes SENSE to him.

(side note but teenage sam is soooo autistic kid who just wants people to act rationally and genuinely cannot comprehend why his dad acts like this and does the things he does and can be such a dick and refuses to listen to reason, like surely if sam just Explains Better then this time dad'll get it...) (i understand him. What who said that). and john is always pulling away and getting colder and angrier and meaner because he resents sam so much for always pushing and never just doing what hes told and is never ever actually willing to listen to sam at all.

anyway. sorry guys im rewatching all the john winchester scenes because i wrote a fic with john actually IN it and i want his voice to be 100% accurate because inaccurate john bugs the shit out of me

[scoobydoodean]

do you think dean only valued cas for his powers/usefulness? i know we see him enjoying his company but do you think he would if cas had never done anything for him? this isn’t deancrit more than simply pondering

Of course Dean values Cas for more than his powers/usefulness. Dean loves Cas. Cas is family and his best friend. If Dean only cared about Cas being useful, he wouldn't have kept Cas's coat in his car for a whole season (after Cas betrayed his trust and broke his brother's brain and everything). He wouldn't have refused to leave Purgatory with Benny before finding Cas. He would have banished Ishim to save his own skin in 12.10. He would not have argued with Sam about sending Lucifer into battle against Amara inside Cas. He wouldn't have sat pleading with Cas and calling him family as Cas was beating him to death. He wouldn't have plead with Chuck to bring back Cas and kill him and Sam (15.19). Cas couldn't have been his big win in early season 13 that turned him off the path of suicide if he only cared about him being useful. This compilation video is quite exhaustive and worth a watch.

I find your second, related question very perplexing. There’s an implicit premise in that question that I object to, and that premise is that if we were to remove Cas "doing things" "for" Dean over the course of season 4 such as:

Cas showing sympathy for Dean in 4.16 to the point of getting demoted (which very much did mean something to Dean).

Cas helping Dean leap out of the flow of causality in 4.18.

Cas in 4.20 (completely of his own accord because he knew it was wrong) reaching out to Dean through Dean's dreams and begging him to meet so Cas could tell Dean the angels were going to start the apocalypse only to get attacked by angels and dragged kicking and screaming back to heaven for reprogramming before he could rebel.

Cas rebelling and helping Dean try and stop Sam in 4.22.

What we'd be left with is a sort of "neutral" but still "good" Castiel, deserving of Dean's love and friendship, but potentially denied it because he failed to do what Dean wanted him to do in 4.18 and 4.22. In reality, if we remove Cas's acts of rebellion in season 4 (which are predicated upon Cas's doubts and convictions and desire to do the right thing—not him being some poor lovesick puppy) what we are left with is someone who uses Dean.

So let's not get it backwards: Dean and Cas's relationship starts with the angels only valuing Dean for his usefulness—not the other way around—and season 4 Castiel is Dean's handler. He shows up periodically to order Dean to do things for the angels (4.07, 4.09, 4.10, 4.16), take him places against his will (4.03, 4.16), tell him vaguely what his destiny is (4.02, 4.16, 4.18, 4.21), and get him to do things for heaven's purposes like prevent seals from being broken and interrogate demons for information. Cas holds the power between them every single time they are in a room together, and without the acts of rebellion that contrast his colder moments, all we are left with is someone who might get to tell Dean he has doubts in 4.07 and might get confronted by Anna over his complicity in the evil the angels are doing in 4.10, 4.16, and 4.22, but who never actually acts on his convictions and doubts because he is ultimately (at best) a coward who values the safety of orders over what he knows is right.

Without Cas's acts of rebellion, we don't get some poor neutral wet cat. We get someone who learns his superiors are going to carry out an apocalypse that will kill billions and does nothing. We get someone who threatens to throw Dean back into hell if he doesn't obey, threatens to harm Sam if Dean doesn't stop him from drinking demon blood (4.03), manipulates Dean into doing things Cas wants him to do (4.15), kidnaps Dean to force him to torture someone (4.16), and kidnaps Dean again to store him in a gilded cage while his brother unleashes the apocalypse... and then afterward, he'd be expected to help Zachariah force Dean to say "Yes" to Michael with manipulations, beatings, and threats to Dean and everyone he cares about. Expecting Dean to love that Cas (because why? Because Cas feels "bad" about treating him like a living doll?) is essentially a demand that Dean develop Stockholm Syndrome.

Season 4 Cas and Dean are not friends (Cas himself says this first, in 4.02). When Dean asks Cas to rebel in 4.18 and 4.22, he is not asking that of Cas as a friend who wants Cas to do him a favor. He is, as a human being—begging his angel handler who he knows has doubts to be a person instead of choosing to behave as a mindless robot whose only function is to unquestioningly carry out heaven's orders when he knows the orders are wrong (Anna does the same thing in 4.16 and 4.21!) In 4.22, Cas makes an assertion about his care for Dean. He says he's "sorry", but with every intention of continuing to hold Dean prisoner and carry out the apocalypse, and Dean punches him in the face for it because Cas isn't a friend at all and his "sorry" is empty if he's just going to continue being Dean's kidnapper (Anna rejected the same sort of false-ringing "sorry" from Cas in 4.10 when he was about to execute her).

One of the most perplexing beliefs in fandom about Cas that I tend to encounter is the idea that Cas rebelled against heaven entirely and purely "for" Dean. Most of fandom pushes this idea with no ill will because it's romantic, while smaller sectors of fandom push this narrative as way of claiming Cas gave Dean some kind of benevolent "gift" when he fell and Dean now owes him for eternity for Cas being so selfless and nice and loving, and Dean doesn't appreciate his sacrifices enough. Cas did not rebel as some "gift" to Dean. Cas chose to do the right thing.

Cas's entire season 4 arc is about him struggling with doubts about God's plan. He and Uriel keep getting orders they struggle to understand, and they both (in very different ways) end up realizing they can no longer obey without losing all sense of identity and violating all of their beliefs and convictions (4.07, 4.10, 4.16). Without Dean even knowing about it at first, Cas already rebelled against heaven in 4.20, after finding out the angels were going to start the apocalypse. He simply got caught and punished back into obedience. When Dean convinces Cas to rebel in 4.22, it is the second time Cas is overtly choosing to rebel against heaven and the apocalypse plan. The first time in 4.20 has nothing to do with Dean begging or pleading—he didn't even know. Dean convinces Cas to uphold his already existing convictions in 4.22. He pleads with Cas, saying, "You were going to help me once, weren't you, before they dragged you off to Bible camp. Help me now—please!"

What attracts Cas and Dean to one another over the course of season 4 is their mutual care for others—their love for people and their desire to do the right thing. Cas keeps showing Dean that, while he is struggling and conflicted, he loves humanity and he wants to do the right thing. He just isn't sure what that is (4.07, 4.16). Dean understands that and it attracts him to Cas. Dean's conviction and bravery in standing up to Cas's superiors to protect humanity, in turn, attracts Cas to Dean. A Dean who does not fight and claw for the sake of love is not someone Cas would have grown to care for in the way our Cas does, and a Cas who never rebels is not the man Dean grew to care for either. Maybe in a coffee shop AU, they meet and Dean likes that Cas is a bit of a dork. But in the actual canon of the show, removing Cas's conviction and desire to rebel does not make him a neutral character who just isn't "useful".

The love that develops between Dean and Cas's has nothing to do with what one "owes" the other or how "useful" they are to each other because their connection was never about that to begin with. It's about common values and common love for humanity. You cannot remove either ones convictions and rebelliousness in canon and have the same story and the same characters revolving around one another with the same mutual respect and mutual understanding. Dean loves Cas for his personality, and also for his rebellion. Not because Cas's rebellion makes Cas useful, but because it is a reflection of Cas's values, convictions, and character in the world they both live in, where they are both asked to make choices that go against their convictions by forces of evil and choose to fight and claw for what is right.

Of course there's a lot to Dean and Cas's friendship. A whole 12 seasons of content!!! There are moments where I think Cas starts to feel like he only exists to be useful to others, but there are also moments where Dean feels like Cas just wants to use him too, or like Cas doesn't give a shit about him and considers him a burden or disposable. There's a strange urge in fandom to frame Dean and Cas's friendship as one where only Cas is ever left feeling insecure or hurt, and that is wildly false.

[according2thelore]

oh GOD that ask answer was everything i dreamed and more. es!dean literally cannot imagine the kind of torture sam went through with lucifer. (which, incidentally, is one reason why ls!sam could never really replace ls!dean with him. he wakes up hyperventilating in the middle of the night and that slender boy is not enough. he needs his mountain man of a brother who Knows what’s out there.) and that kills him because he needs to know Everything About Sam. but sam is so so right to keep it from him - i don’t think es!dean could live with the knowledge, say, that sam is raped one day. i think it would actually end him.

ugggh i lvoe this au so much. you are a genius.

GRAHH you're so right!!!

sam wakes up one night straight from a nightmare and stumbles into the hallway, needing to find dean's room. he runs into ES!Dean, who's all it's okay, sam. it can't hurt you, it's just a vision--because he doesn't know! ES!Sam's nightmares can be soothed with gentle hands on his neck and shoulders, brushing bangs out of his eyes, dean promising that they'll fix it, and sam's safe.

but LS!Sam is going to throw up because this isn't a fixable thing. he feels suffocated by ES!Dean's firm hands on wrists, held down, and he pushes him away, hard.

LS!Dean shoves ES!Dean further away like you can't restrain him like that and ES!Dean pales bc he things he's caught on: someone held sam captive, maybe because of his powers. how could LS!Dean have arrived so clearly late, late enough that sam still carries the scars into his dreams?

and LS!Dean keeps muttering about first stones and c'mon sammy breathe with me and look at me and this is real. and LS!Sam kind of crumples and shoves himself under LS!Dean's arm, trying to make himself small and holdable, and ES!Dean just stands there and burns.

because there is clearly something here that's not right. something that LS!Sam&Dean have survived together, learned how to deal with, spent years adjusting to each other, and that's something ES!Dean is starting to realize they'll never tell him.

sam has always been a little inaccessible--he used to refuse to tell dean details about his girlfriend-of-the-weeks, he kept stanford a secret until he got his acceptance letter, he wouldn't tell dean what he was writing in all of those notebooks--but never the truly big, life-or-death stuff. and now sam--LS!Sam, anyway--is inaccessible. and it kills dean. dean wants to shrivel up and die because sammy is his. his responsibility, his to watch out for, his to mend, his to kill for.

he has never felt more purposeless or rudderless than he does right now--watching someone else comfort sam.

what he doesn't know, of course, would kill him. the fact that sam asks to be locked into a cage in hell, and dean will let him. the century of torture and rape and psychological hell that sam went through is a chasm that dean will never be able to fix. he can build a bridge, but that's all he can do.

it would kill ES!Dean. and LS!Sam knows it. so he reaches out a shaky hand in the gap between LS!Dean's arm and body, where he's wrapped sam in a bear hug.

ES!Dean rushes forward and grabs it, life finally having meaning again as sammy looks up at him with bloodshot eyes, with fingers that shake, and a voice that cracks when he says, "i'm okay, dean. thank you. i'm fine."

AGH!!!! anon, you get it <3 <3 hurt/comfort is my FUCKING bread and butter!!!!!!!! esp when it goes both ways!! because with these bozos, it literally would be!!

-lizzy

[reality-schmality]

Laying in bed unable to sleep having a major breakthrough on why I just can’t stand Sam Winchester. Do not keep reading if an unfavorable analysis of Sam’s character will compel you to send me hate mail.

Sam is presented 100% as the hero of this epic. All of his conflicts are plot-driven. Nothing can truly be held over his head for long because it’s too interlaced with the greater plot, the bigger picture. Hiding his psychic powers, blindly trusting/being tricked by Ruby, any and all soulless actions, abandoning Kevin when Dean and Sam disappear… I can probably go on, but I’m too tired to remember anything past season 8 where I’m up to in my current rewatch.

Everything he does wrong directly furthers the plot, and every character around him eventually gives him a pass because of it. Bobby literally tells Dean, “I get that it wasn’t him but I need a minute to forget he tried to kill me.” Then he does, in fact, continue on as if it never happened. Gordon is the only character who harbors an untamable grudge against Sam—which additionally furthers the plot and continues to make Sam look like the long-suffering, misunderstood hero. Yes, he faces obstacles, but he never faces consequences in any substantial way.

Dean, on the other hand, is presented as an antihero. All of his conflicts are character-driven. Everything is held over his head for as long as it can be because it’s all interlaced with himself and with how he relates to the characters around him. Dragging Sam back into hunting, selling his soul, lying about his memories afterward, wanting to say yes to Michael, leaving Lisa and Ben, becoming tunnel-visioned toward stopping Leviathan, protecting Benny…

Everything he does wrong is related to the plot, of course, but it is not by and large an act of the plot. Whereas season 4 would have been massively different if Sam didn’t fall in with Ruby, season 6 would not have changed, in any significant way, if Lisa and Ben weren’t a factor for Dean. All of Dean’s major arcs are explorations of character: they watch him grow and regress; they make him react to different personalities; they make him question his motives and happiness. And all of them are so inherently part of him, rather than the plot, that they stick around.

To sum up, consider this SPN season 5/Buffy season 6 analogy:

Dean/Buffy is driven by the internal force of suicidal depression more than any plot point.

Sam/Willow is driven by an immature quest for knowledge and abuse of power that directly creates the overall season culmination.

Lying continues to be a major plot point season after season because Sam won’t let go of all the frivolous lies or omissions that Dean has given over the years. The episode with the specter spelled it out when Dean was possessed and raged about how, sure, he lied about remembering hell and he refuses to talk about Purgatory because they are personal and painful experiences that Sam in fact does not need to know the details of but Sam lying about special powers, about his relationship and activities with Ruby, about Samuel Campbell’s operation, all directly affected Dean as well as put both brothers in danger.

And within the lies are parallels, in which Sam is perceived to have the high ground. Sam wanted to protect Amy because she saved his life during their childhood and understood him in a way no one else ever had. Dean wanted to protect Benny because he saved his life just a few months prior and understood him in a way no one else ever had. Amy left a trail of bodies which brought the brothers to town in the first place and Dean felt, by their job description, obligated to kill her. Benny wiped out his own nest, and Sam assigned someone to track him without any evidence of his killing humans as well as tied Dean up to hunt him unimpeded.

The premises here are the same, but the circumstances wildly differ. Still, Sam/Amy is shown as more sympathetic—because they were so young at first meeting, because Sam hears her story about protecting her son. Because Dean has come back from Purgatory rabid and feral, because his and Benny’s flashbacks are surrounded by death and a bargain, because Sam is still hurt from the previous season and refuses to listen.

I am not even going to acknowledge the parallels/comparisons between love interest conflicts/plot lines beyond this: the obvious implications of the sheer line-ups.

By season 5, Sam has a string of women in his wake, and Dean has two women and Cas.

By season 15, Sam has a longer string of women in his wake, and Dean has two women and Cas.

Whether you acknowledge Cas as a love interest or not—the Hero always gets the girl(s).

The first Trickster episode sums it all up, honestly: “too precious for this world” vs “blah blah blah”. It’s hilarious and exaggerated, of course, but it’s exactly how the characters are meant to be viewed always and forever. Sam has morals galore. Sam doesn’t drink often and rarely to excess, must be shoved into flirtations, goes running or cycling, eats healthy, cares about misunderstood monsters from the start, all grounding him in “fair,” “heroic” traits. Dean is looser and more wild. He is an alcoholic, promiscuous, lazy, an unhealthy eater, more dependent on binary choices, all grounding him in “black or white,” “wild card” traits.

So is it really any wonder why I find Sam so goddamn boring? It’s a given he’s The Hero, which apparently denies him the right to real depth in the form of multiple layers of conflict. The vast majority of Sam’s conflicts are all external. He always makes the wrong choice purely to drive the plot. Yes, this even includes his “I’m a freak” baseline narrative because it’s the overarching theme of the entire goddamn show.

By comparison, Dean is just a hero and a hell of a lot more interesting because there’s a hell of a lot more to him. He genuinely has three layers of conflict that do not all trace back to the same focal point. His “exists to protect Sammy” baseline narrative is a large theme for half the series’ run, but it morphs into a far smaller theme as time goes on.

It’s all just such a shame. I wish I could find him more interesting; Sam has so much potential and capacity for depth, but it’s just not there. His conflict is nearly all surface level and boring.

[rewatching-sam-and-dean]

What season of SPN makes you the most feral? What are your headcanons about it?

Hi Anon!

Sorry it took me so long to answer, usually I’m quicker with asks. First, I needed to think about my answer. Then, my internet went down (ugh). Now, I’m on a work trip.

I don’t tend to have a lot of headcanons for SPN, and the ones I have, I mostly think of in the moment as I’m watching or they are pretty common (for example, Ben is Dean’s kid).

Anyways, after thinking about it, I think the season(s) thst makes me the most feral is the Season 2 & 3 combo. I have to put them together because of the reversal of brother worry that flows so well: Dean worrying obsessively about Sam (and being alone) until the worst happens and Sam actually dies, so Dean sells his soul for Sam because he can’t bear to be without him, so Sam worries obsessively about Dean (and being alone) until he starts throwing some of his morals out the window (metaphorically selling his soul) to try and save him, but the worst happens and Dean dies. These seasons have so many brother feels, then being mistaken for a couple (which I always find amusing), and pain. It all hurts so good.

There are a couple of things that make me feel especially “feeral” in this era.

In “In My Tine of Dying” Sam can sense Dean’s soul (love this), they talk to each other using a “talking board,” and Sam tried so damn hard find a way to save (in a short window of time) Dean, and Dean (who worries that he needs Sam more than Sam needs him) never remembers how worried Sam was for him and how much he watered to save him. I hate that he doesn’t remember. As far as I can tell, when Tessa returns his memories of that time (in Season 4), she only returned the parts involving her, not the parts where Dean saw how much Sam loved him (This is up there with Sam and Dean not knowing the phone call was tampered with in Season 4, for me).

“What is and What Should Never Be” pretty much twists my heart from start to finish. Dean having everything “apple pie” he could want, but none of it being worth it if Sam doesn’t love him (beyond in the “he’s my brother so I have to love him” but NOT like him sort of way). The acting in this one is good too. We get a very different Sam, and Jared plays how different he is from normal Sam and how weirded out he is by Dean trying to show any affection towards him really well. We get to see Jensen play a cute and happy Dean, then we see his heart breaking when he realizes he can’t stop hunting if it means people will die, and I love/hate the more subtle heartbreak of him seeing Sam back away from him. I just … love this episode. (Also, … “What are you calling me bitch for?”).

Everything about Meg!Sam, and Dean saying he’d rather die than kill Sam. Pure gold.

“Mystery Spot,” the whole episode is just fantastic. A tiny hesdcanon I have for this episode is that there was at least a day where Sam tackled Dean to the bed (non-romantically) and just refused to let him up, clinging to him like a koala in desperation because Dean dies every time he leaves the room, or does basically anything. Dean struggles at first but then just lays there and takes it, maybe awkwardly patting Sam’s arm. He is both kinda weirded out, but also secretly happy with how much Sam obviously cares about him. But, of course, it being Mystery Spot, Sam probably accidentally kills him somewhere in there.

One last thing I think of often is, I wish I could see Sam succeeding and saving Dean in the Season 3 finale. It bothers me so much that he couldn’t do it after how hard he tried, and the lengths he was willing to go to, and it hurts seeing how much his “failure” and losing Dean tortured him. Dean ended up inflicting the exact pain on Sam that their Dad did on him by selling his soul for him and dying for him, except worse. Also, I actually like the Angel story line in Seasons 4 to 6, but I loath it after that, except for a few exceptions. So, if Sam had saved Dean, we might have been spared angel politics thst went on for too long, as well.

Anyway, I’ll stop it there because my answer is getting away from me.

Thank you for your question, Anon ❤️.

What season(s) make you feral?

[delulu4dean]

Animal pt2 (Dean Winchester x female!reader)

Warning: smut. It’s all smut. Adult language and smut. 18+ please, minors DNI!

Inspo: animal by ke$ha

Word count: 1,874 words

Pt 1 Pt 2

✰✰✰✰✰

You guys spend the past four days, unable to get anywhere. It’s possible the goddess knew of the Winchesters. Hell, everyone knew of the Winchesters by now. But she didn’t care. There was no way out of this.

Or so you believe. Sam refuses to give up. In fact, he’s trying to summon up who he thinks he has a lead on right now. Some moon ceremony.

You don’t care, you’re not hopeful. But you start understanding the werewolves going crazy, just eating as one last celebration before death. So you find yourself walking to Dean’s room, for your one last night of fun before you die.

✦I am in love…✦

You knock on his door.

“Come in,” he calls out, so you do.

There he is, laying on his bed, staring at the ceiling. You can’t help but find this moment tragically beautiful. He’s just in his t-shirt and jeans, resting his head on his arms. A small bit of his midriff is exposed as his arms are stretched up. You try not to stare as you close the door behind you.

“Hey, Dean,” you say softly, making your way to his bed.

“What’s up, Y/N,” he sits up.

✦…with what we are…✦

You sit on his bed back towards him. The palm of your hands were sweating, and nervous butterflies flutter in your stomach as you gather up the courage to say what you want to, to Dean. You take a deep breath, before turning your body to Dean.

He furrows his eyebrows, placing a hand on your shoulder.

“Is everything alright?” he asks.

You let out a bitter laugh, as the question is stupid. The world is ending, of course everything isn’t alright.

“For the current situation we’re in?”

“Right,” Dean nods. “What’s on your mind?”

“You,” you answer truthfully.

✦…not what we should be.✦

“Yeah?” Dean raises an eyebrow.

You feel the tension between the two of you building up more and more. He’s right there in front of you, so close to you.

✦and I am, I am starstruck…✦

“Yeah,” you breathe.

“And what about me are you thinking of?”

He places his hand on yours, sending goosebumps up your arms. You look up at him, biting your lip. For a moment you think this is a mistake, that there’s no going back from this. Then again, does it really matter? You’ll be dead in a matter of hours, do you want to die with regrets or do you want to die after experiencing absolute bliss?

✦…with every part…✦

You smile at him, but he can tell the smile is a pained one.

“This thing… between us,” you start. You look at his hand on yours, and nod to yourself. “I say… we stop ignoring it. All the flirting going nowhere? Let’s take it to the next level, Dean.”

✦…of this story.✦

Dean looks at you and smiles with that same pained smile. It’s tragic that it had to come to this for you two to finally get together. And I’d everything goes right, it’s sad that you won’t get a real relationship with him.

He takes your other hand in his, making sure to take things slow. Of course the both of you want to savor every moment of this night.

✦I’m not asleep, I’m up for the fight.✦

“Let’s do it, baby,” he says, finally.

He pulls you onto his lap, putting his hands on your waist. You cup his face, both of you just staring at each other, eyes burning into each others’ souls. Finally you break the tension, and your lips crash into each other, the touched starved pair finally getting what they both craved.

You pull deans shirt off, placing your hands on his chest, just wanting to feel his skin against yours. And it’s better than you’ve imagined.

✦Into the magic.✦

He takes your shirt off next, and you go back to kissing. His hands gravel up to your back to take your bra off. Dean, who has much experience, gets it off swiftly.

He pulls away to get a view of what’s in front of him. Suddenly you feel self conscious but before you could think to cover up he breaks the silence.

“You’re gorgeous, Y/N.”

✦And I don’t want the concrete.✦

You blush, looking down, but he tilts your head up to look into his eyes.

“I’ve been waiting for this forever, Dean,” you manage to say.

“Me too, sweetheart.”

Your hands travel down his chest, to his jeans, and you unbutton it slowly. Then you unzip his pants.

“Dean Winchester, looks like we’re going to be spending the rest of our lives together,” you joke. “Not long, but still.”

Dean cups your face, brushing his thumbs over your cheek. You haven’t noticed you were crying until he wiped your tears away.

“You sure you want this?” He asks.

“Yes, yes, I’m so sure. It’s just the whole… dying in a few hours thing.” You chuckle but it couldn’t hide the fear in your voice.

✦I am alive.✦

You shift backwards, pulling Dean’s jeans off, tossing them to the side. Dean pulls you to him and lays you down, getting on top of you. It’s his turn to pull off your jeans. Once he tosses them to the side, he kisses you again.

✦It’s comes with the tragic.✦

You trace your fingers down his side, until they reach the hem of his underwear, and you start tugging. He takes them off and starts taking yours off.

“Wet already?”

“Can you blame me?” You look up at him with doe eyes.

You feel his fingers gently rubbing circles into your clit, causing you to let out a soft moan.

“Are you sure you want this?” he asks you again. You only nod.

✦So if it’s just tonight…✦

“Dean, please, I want you. I want you so bad. I’ve wanted this for a long time,” you beg.

He nods, and adjusts himself on top of you, pumping himself before placing himself at your entrance.

“How bad do you want it?” He looks down at you.

“Dean, please!”

And with that, he inserts himself in you.”

“Ah!”

✦…the animal inside.✦

Dean thrusts in and out, starting at a slower pace, while he kisses your neck. Your hand goes to the back of his head, as you gently grab his hair.

✦Like it’s the end of time.✦

Dean unlatches from your neck, picking up his pace. You close your eyes in pleasure, when you feel his hands gently grab your face.

“Eyes on me, sweetheart.”

You open your eyes, and nod, looking into his eyes. You trace your finger up and down his chest, just wanting to put your hands all over him.

As he slides in an out, you can feel him hitting your sweet spot each and every time.

“Holy shit, Dean.”

He smirks in response, grabbing your thigh to pull your leg around him, allowing him to go in deeper.

“Fuck!” you yell, feeling him all in you.

✦Like everything inside.✦

“You feel so good, baby,” Dean groans, going faster.

You open your mouth to say something but all that comes out is moans and whimpers, as Dean is leaving you a speechless mess. He’s no longer going easy on you, as he pounds into you, and you’re loving every moment of it. Both of your legs are now wrapped around him, and you bring your arms around his neck pulling him closer to you.

✦Let it live and die.✦

You pull his face to yours and kiss him deeply. He nibbles at your bottom lip, making you whimper.

He removes your arms from around him, and takes your hands in his, holding them above your head, while he pulls away. He resumes the quick and hard movement in and out of you.

✦This is our last chance, give me your hands.✦

Your fingers interlock, but all you can think about is how you want to run your hands over every inch of his body.

✦‘Cause our world is spinning at the speed of light.✦

Dean grunts louder and more frequently as you both get closer and closer.

“Is it okay if I… you know,” Dean attempts to ask.

You understand what he’s trying to ask and you nod. It’s not like it would matter, you guys will be dead soon. And you’d be lying if you said you didn’t want Dean to fill you up.

✦The night is fading, heart is racing.✦

Dean kisses you again as he rubs your clit again. You feel an orgasm building up, your toes curling. Your walls close up around him, making him ground out a quiet “fuck,” as he throws his head back in pleasure. His lustful eyes grow darker.

✦Now just come and love me like we’re gonna die.✦

You both reach your highs, you moaning loudly, Dean filling you up. He slows his pace as you both come down, breathing heavily. And then he pulls out, and even though you’re very much satisfied, you just wish you both could have gone forever because this would be your last time.

Before he has the chance to lay down, you pull him close, and wrap your around around his back, feeling his chest against yours, skin to skin. You tear up, bracing yourself for death. Dean kisses your cheek and rolls onto his back, pulling you close to him so you can lay your head on his chest.

“That was great,” he finally breathed out.

“Better than I imagined it would be,” you whisper, trying to keep your voice stable.

The two of you laid in silence. All you could hear is his heartbeat: thump, thump, thump.

You fall asleep to his heartbeat.

✰✰✰✰✰

You open your eyes, and sit up. You look over to the clock next to Dean’s bed… 9:36am. It’s Saturday.

“Dean,” you shake the sleeping hunter next to you awake.

“Mm five more minutes,” he grumbles, turning over.

“Dean! Wake up! We’re alive!”

His eyes shoot open and he quickly gets up and looks at the clock then back at you.

“How?”

“I don’t know.”

You both get up, Dean putting on his underwear and a robe, you putting on your panties and his t shirt from last night, and you quickly walk out of his room, trying to figure out what happened. On the floor of the war room, was a body of a woman. Her dress was all white minus the red stain where she was stabbed. Her hair silver, her skin fair.

You and Dean exchange a look before he yells, “Sammy!”

Sam runs to you guys to see what the commotion is all about until he realizes you’ve discovered what he left last night.

“Sam, what did you do last night?” you ask him, unable to take your eyes off the girl.

“I saved the world,” Sam says, taking out the wooden stake used to kill her.

“You killed the moon goddess?!” Your jaw drops.

“Wouldn’t be the first time we killed a deity,” Dean shrugs.

You stand there shocked. Sam looks between you and Dean.

“What did you do last night?” Sam asks.

“Lived like we were going to die,” you answer, sheepishly.

[reigningqueenofwords]

Jessie

Word count: 1,478 Warnings: Talk of child death, talk of child abduction Request: @atcamillanorrman Dean and 78 ♥️ “Seven billion people in the world and I got put in a room with you. Either I’m cursed or God likes playing house with us.”

Read on AO3

You’d grown up hunting, just like the Winchester boys. They had their father, you had your mother. You were a year older than Dean, but every time your parents teamed up over the years… he took it upon himself to put himself in charge. It was honestly one of the most irritating things about him. As the pair of you got older, the more the pair of you butted heads. The only thing you could agree on? Keeping Sammy safe. That’s it. You liked Sammy. He was nothing like his older brother. If you had a brother, you wished he would be like Sammy. 

Your mom was killed on a hunt when you were 17, and you went on hunting. Alone. Then Sammy went by Sam and took off for college. You couldn’t blame him one bit. While there had been a time in your life you wanted the same, it had passed quickly. 

Shockingly, you didn’t come across John and Dean in those years that Sam was gone. You’d heard whispers about them, of course. It was hard not to. Bobby would ask you to give them a call now and then when you were on the trail of something nasty, but you refused. Why would you ask for help from Dean? John, sure. But with John, came Dean. 

Then you heard the other whispers: Sam Winchester was back, and John was in the wind. It piqued your interest. What would cause John to leave Dean? What the hell would cause Sam to ditch school? You’d caved and called Dean. “I want to check on Sam.” You told him. “I’m in Maryland, where are you two?” 

“What, not gonna check in on me? Am I not important to you?” He asked. 

You rolled your eyes. “Dean, just because you’re John’s favorite, doesn’t mean you’re mine.” You countered. “Can I please meet you guys somewhere? Three hunters is better than one or two.” 

He let out a sigh. “We’re about to hit the road. Hunt in Mississippi. I’ll text you the info.” 

“Cool.” You figured one hunt wouldn’t hurt, and then you’d be on your way. 

“Sammy! You got tall!” You grinned as you saw him. 

His face lit up, moving in for a hug, which you happily gave him. “It’s good to see you.” He lifted you slightly, making you laugh. “It’s been years.” 

You nodded. “What, like 8 or something?” You mused. “You were still tiny last time I saw you.” You reached up to ruffle his hair. “Talk about a growth spurt!” He was a good six or so inches taller than you, and the last time you’d seen him he’d been a good six inches shorter than you. Either that, or you remembering him as being way shorter than he actually was. 

“Do I get a hug?” Dean asked, smirk on his face. “I haven’t seen you in that long, either.” 

“No, I don’t know where you’ve been.” You shook his head, stepping into the room. “My room is right next door, so let’s get on with this hunt.” 

Dean huffed and nodded. “Fine.” He agreed, going to sit at the little table. “It’s looking like werewolves.” He started as you sat across from him. 

“Fucking hell.” You shook your head. 

“We’re alive, does that count for nothing?” He sighed, trying to wiggle open a window. It wasn’t doing a damn thing. “Sammy will get us out of here in no time.” 

You rolled your eyes, slamming yourself into the door. The door didn’t budge, and you let out a groan when you hit the ground bouncing off of it. You were doing everything in your power not to let your pain show. Breathing deep, you slowly got up. 

“Shit, Y/N. You okay?” Dean abandoned the window to help you. 

“I’m fine.” You snapped, pulling away from him once you were standing. “Seven billion people in the world and I got put in a room with you. Either I’m cursed or God likes playing house with us.” You grumbled. 

He put his hands on his hips, a hard look on his face. “What the hell is your problem with me? I haven’t even seen you in like 8 years, and you’re acting like I’ve done something to personally warrant you hating me.” He glared. “What gives?” 

You shook your head. “Whenever our parents would team up and we’d get left alone, you suddenly had to be in charge. Despite the fact that I’m older, and was told to look out for you two! As soon as they left, you got a bug up your ass that you were top dog.” You snapped. “And believe me, the things I’ve heard about Dean Winchester himself over the years don’t help. Cocky, arrogant, and a womanizer.” You glared right back at him. 

“I put myself in charge because I didn’t think you should have to look after a kid that isn’t yours.” He defended himself. “Sammy was, and is, my responsibility. Not yours. I was used to looking after us, why the hell would I want you to come in and take over? I figured you’d like only looking after yourself!” He argued. “Or are you that bossy that you have to tell everyone what to do? And I don’t know who the hell you’re talking to, either. Just because I like woman doesn’t mean I’m a womanizer. They go to the bar for the same thing I do: a night to just forget and have a good time.” 

“I love Sammy, why wouldn’t I want to look after him? I lost my baby brother, so it was like for a moment I got to watch out for him again.” 

He furrowed his brows. “Wait, what? I didn’t know you had a brother.” He admitted, a pang in his heart. 

You sighed. “He was a year younger than me. It was right after my mom started hunting.” Licking your lips, you focused. He wasn’t someone you talked about. Ever. “We were playing at a park. Mom was with us, too.” Dean watched as the pain took over your eyes. “I was 5, Jessie was 4. There were a few kids there, and as kids do…we all started playing. We were playing hide and seek while mom was chatting with another mom.” The tears started to well in your eyes. “After a few minutes, I couldn’t find him. I looked everywhere, and called his name. I thought he was being a brat and ignoring me.” You sniffed, shaking your head. It felt like it was just yesterday. You could still feel the breeze in the air, hear the leaves crunching under your feet, and hear the other kids laughing. “Finally, I went to tell my mom Jessie wasn’t playing fair. He’d been taken. No one had seen or heard anything.” 

“Jesus.” He breathed, getting emotional himself. 

“They found his little body a week later.” Your voice cracked. “And Sammy kinda reminded me of him, ya know?” Wiping your cheeks, you just wanted out of this damn house. “I couldn’t keep Jessie safe, but I could keep an eye on Sammy. I figured you were old enough, but Sammy wasn’t.” 

Without thinking, Dean pulled you into a hug. “Jessie being killed wasn’t your fault.” He managed, knowing that he’d feel responsible if something happened to Sam, too. 

You found yourself hugging him back with one arm. “It feels like it was.” You buried your face in his neck. Crying over Jessie wasn’t something you let yourself do. You cried when he was taken, and when he was buried. That was it. After that you bottled it up, not letting those feelings come to the surface. You’d let it turn into anger over the years, channeling it into hunting and hating Dean.

He rubbed your back gently. “After this hunt I’ll buy you a beer and you can tell me all about him. How’s that?” He offered. 

“Okay.” You instantly caved. Maybe talking about him would help you somewhat. “First we need to get out of his dump.” You sighed, pulling out of his arms. “Any ideas? Since windows and doors are a bust?” 

“We’ll figure something out.” He said confidently. 

Sam had busted you free a couple hours later. The pair of you had looked over every nook and cranny of that place, and had no luck. “Oh, good. You’re both still alive.” He breathed when he saw you both. “I was seriously afraid what I’d find behind that door.” 

You chuckled lightly. “Sorry, you’re not getting rid of one of us that easily.” You patted his arm. “I’m gonna be tagging along for a bit.” 

He looked surprised, his eyes going to Dean. “She serious?” He asked, making Dean nod. “Huh. I wish I thought of locking you guys in a room together.” He half joked. 

[curioussubjects]

Ok so I have some spnwin-spn connection spec I wanna share with y'all from back when @alwaysanoriginal were spiraling over some interview about The Winchesters (as we do). The second to last question is about John's journal being created, which of course made me think of plot hole vampmimes. Of course.

Or maybe not so plothole-y?

That was mostly a joke, though I did hope tonight was going to maybe for the lolz address that. Well, little did I know because that old convo continued with this:

DOES THIS REMIND YOU OF ANYTHING YOU WATCHED TONIGHT

DOES IT

Char, then, decided to come for me in the night and point out that the Running on Empty montage in 19 has some pretty choice scenes featuring Changing Channels, Wayward Sisters and the AU rift, Dean time traveling, and The Heroes' Journey (which I always argued was essentially the intended finale metaphorically).

Side note: sorry to expose y'all to my private ravings lol

A lot of this actually comes back to a point Billie made in s15 about Chuck building reality with himself at the center to keep it ticking. So how can you possibly beat him? By letting him think he won. I can't help but remember that delightful line from Dean in s12: "‘Cause we’re not trapped out here with you. You’re trapped out here with us." You know, that one time Dean and Sam pulled a death gambit to escape a black ops site.

But back to The Winchesters: last week we had Carlos refusing to play Loki's game (a god who can affect reality, or one's perception thereof) and winning. But to do so, he had to put his life on the line. He had to be willing to lose everything. By the way, I am once again feeling very emotional about Carlos saying he sacrificed everything for hunting, but he gained so much more because that's it! That's the thing! So yeah...cue Carlos singing Hard Times Come Again No More to his family.

This week John is the one with the seemingly inescapable fate of death (courtesy of vampires because of course), and while he doesn't tap out of the game, he realizes he knows nothing about the context of what he saw. He only got half the story, and the rest was up to him. It's appropriate, too, that this week we get another Supernatural classic with Mary reassuring John that they will find another way. And yeah, John does and wins.

And, I mean, if we're talking fate and god and gambles, why not remember a nifty piece of advice Sam and Dean received from Fortuna in The Gamblers: “Don’t play his game. Make him play yours.”

My point is if we look at 19 and 20 much like we would a vision from an amulet, none of the plot of Supernatural needs to change. It's fated. But as Millie says, and John says, and Dean say: fate is what you make it. And if The Winchesters is about how Sam and Dean became the Winchesters, then what else is this show but the context we've been missing all along.

(send this man to stan jail tbh)

[also what is more Winchester stupid than the cosmic consequences of saving your family...like...say...releasing the Darkness or...causing an Akrida infestation...though who knows that could've been on purpose for reasons. I'm putting nothing past spnwin.]

Don't ask me how Dean goes from pulling a death gambit to get into heaven to time travelling to tweak with his parents' past. We're through the looking glass here people and we'll simply have to wait and see -- but the puzzle is for sure getting less mysterious. Something free will, knowledge, family, and Growth, something. Therapy. You know, The Winchesters.

Or I'm totally off the mark and I'll have egg for face who's to say, but for now, as a treat, I'm feeling very

[queenhellwitch]

I'm so sick of writing this essay every day.

It WAS out of character, but it was written, so you have to find Sam's truth in it, as Jared once said. Everyone goes straight to, "well, Dean was ANGRY that Sam didn't look for him, so Sam was WRONG TO CHOOSE TO DO THAT." Do we honestly think that Sam stood there in that lab, wide-eyed and hyperventilating in front of Crowley and his taunting, thinking "Well damn, Dean's gone, I'm going to CHOOSE not to look for him." Not being facetious, because he might've done (it is, after all, the rational choice considering all the harm to creation they've caused as a team (and that's also kind of the truth Sam offers to Dean, when he later tries and fails to explain it to him).

So *was* it a conscious plan to offhandedly abandon his brother? I think not. Because we're shown throughout the seasons that Sam is usually such an analytical, practical person, and insanely single-minded and vengeful when it comes to saving Dean - even in the direst of straits, Sammy keeps his head; hits the lore, solves the problem. In character, he would've found out he was in Purgatory, he would've summoned Death and begged him for another random eclipse (another of which, by the way, had already been outright refused).

So why does nobody ever offer Sam grace and consider *why was he out of character?* It's because he was reeling. He'd lost everyone he'd ever loved, he was still absolutely swamped by guilt, head swimming with Hell trauma that had nearly killed him. He was running on fumes already at the end of season 7. He had no Bunker at that point, no comfort, no Bobby anymore. The angels were d1cks. No demons would make a deal. All he had left, and all he could do, was go back to the car. "I fixed up the Impala, and I drove." The scenes where he hit the dog, he was absolutely frantic. Reminded again how much pain and destruction he causes. Amelia was a lifeline, an (unhappy imo) accident - she just happened. He wasn't chasing happiness, or a normal life at that point. Just running.

So thoughts of Dean, the Life, Kevin, everything unfinished would come back and poke at his brain... At that point, do you stay hiding, buried, living in a motel, clinging to someone who makes you a birthday cake, fixing sinks, not being traumatised, abandoned, hospitalised, killed? Or do you give yourself an shake and say "c'mon Sam, stand up and find your brother, have the audacity to insert yourself back into a world where your *very existence* killed him, made his life hell, made his death literal hell, killed your own mother, father, the love of your life, millions of others, caused apocalypse, destroyed Kevin's life, got *his* girlfriend killed...

He, of course, can't say all that to Dean. How can he?

"we promised we weren't going to look for each other" - it's easier - prove it was a rational choice. "I met a girl and decided not to hunt anymore" - ok, Dean will be angry, but Dean's anger is usual, normal, and easier to deal with than facing Dean's disappointment in Sam's unravelling.

I might be overanalysing and giving him too much credit. But he deserves it and this is a Sam-positive post. And if you watch the scene with Cas and Sam in the cartoon world in Hunteri Heroici, you can *see* it. His ranting at Fred about living in a dream world isn't about Fred. It's all about his own anger at himself, taking on board yet more guilt, because he can never do anything right. He's more than out of character. He's an absolute mess.

[jokingmisfit]

Darkened Soulmates Part 2

Amara x Fem!Reader

Part 2: A New Discovery

Chuck had left the room and returned in a short time. When he came back he held a bottle of dark blue liquid. Its consistency was like honey, maybe a bit thinner.

“You sure you want to let him use a random potion on you?” It was Lucifer who had said it in a judgmental tone.

“Rather him than you, eh?” I raise my eyebrows at him. “At least he’s never stabbed me in the stomach.”

He looked at me bitterly, and then smiled. “Touche.”

I looked over at Chuck who stood there waiting with the bottle. “So whaddya need me to do?”

“Just hold out your arm and I’ll do the rest.” He states simply as he opened the bottle.

I hold out my arm. Sam watches with curiosity. Dean watches with a scowl. Lucifer also looks on curiously.

Chuck grabs the bottom of my arm with a towel in his hand, obviously to catch liquid that falls off. He starts speaking in a language I’m pretty sure is Enochian, though I have no idea what he says. Clearly Lucifer does because he lets out a dramatic gasp.

Tilting the bottle upside down the potion began to pour and pool on my skin. Chuck was right, it didn't hurt. I just felt this heat on my skin. It felt like someone laid a heating pad on my arm. 

He wiped the potion completely off my skin. “So it didn't work?”

“See for yourself.” He says, not looking away from my arm.

Looking down I see a black mark that ran across my skin. It looked like cracks broke across my arm. Why does it look like that? Even with all my confusion, I don’t feel scared.

Laughing Lucifer says. “Turns out you’re more important to this than we thought.”

Dean looked towards him, pissed “What the hell does that mean?!”

Lucifer narrowed his eyes. “It means she’s Amaras uh– special little human.” He laughed. “This is great news guys! No, really. We can use her against Amara now!” Lucifer exclaims while standing behind me clasping his hands on my shoulders.

“Absolutely not!” Chuck states angrily while pulling me away.

Sam pops in worriedly. “What exactly does he mean by “her special human”?? What does that mark mean??  How would we be able to use her against Amara??”

“Ok, ok, Sammy calm down. No ones getting used against Amara and Y/n isn’t Amara’s “special” anything.” Dean claims impatiently.

Normally I would be a little more cautious of the tight grip holding me. Especially considering that the hand holding me was God’s. But, a part of me felt almost somewhere else. It felt like someplace else a part of me is opening her eyes for the first time to see something new. A new perspective. It made focusing so very hard.

My arm looked like someone had broken that of a porcelain dolls. Despite lack of pain there was a light throb that started to accompany the heat. Should it feel like that?

“Is someone going to explain or are we just going to stand here staring at her damn arm?!” Dean exclaims, causing me to jump.

I look over to Chuck. “What- what does this mean exactly?” I ask.

He met my eyes again before letting go of my arm completely. He started to move around the room as he monologue. “As I’ve said before, Amara was never fond of my creations. She hated everything I made, no matter what it was. I didn’t want her to feel like that.” He looked at my arm like he was guilty. “I wanted her to see the same beauty in creation as she saw in destruction,” This time he met my eyes. “I didn’t want to trap her. I wanted my sister to be around. It was selfish from the start,” He sighed and scratched his head. “But I striked up an offer.” 

My voice came out quiet and caring as I asked him. “What kind of offer?”

Chuck stared at me for a moment. Like he was trying to find the word.

“Love,” He said. “The one thing none of us can refuse. Not even her.” His eyes drifted around. “It wasn’t too hard. I made a soul and attached it to a very simple spell so it’d be easy to find. If you knew it of course. So I made the human soul, and I sent it out into the world.” he exclaims, throwing his hands out to point at the world. “Problem is,” he said, holding out his finger. “Because of how special that soul was I couldn’t control where it went without causing it damage. If I got too close to the soul for too long it would start dying.”

“Why?” Dean asked.

Chuck looked a little angry at being interrupted. “Because,” He said sharply. “If you haven’t paid attention, this soul was made specifically for Amara. The human is perfect for her. They have a small piece of her in them and that small piece can be ripped out by me holding the soul too long.” He states. “I couldn’t control where the soul went. It had to go on its own. We had no idea how long it would take for them to show up again.” He points to me. “Clearly none of us anticipated this long and Amara is impatient. She only waited a few hundred years before getting angry enough to no longer care if,” He looks me in the eye. “If you existed or not… I had no choice, if I wanted to keep my creations and my children around, I had to seal her away.”

~~Somewhere else in the world~~

It wasn’t just Y/n who felt the pull. The feeling of being somewhere you weren’t Like looking through the wrong eyes. Finding a missing piece. A feeling she felt when she gave her brother a piece of herself to make her something special.

She was finally going to find it.

[xyberangelzparadise]

My current spn fic ideas

Succubus!sam - canon divergence where everything is the same except that Sam has Succubus powers that he cant really control. Humans and monsters will at random fall obsessively dangerously in love with him. (Not all of them but it happens often enough that its a problem) It does affect all demons he meets though. Weaker and lower demons will literally worship the ground he walks on and will be compelled to follow his every command while more powerful demons will be attracted to him but not subservient to him. This would most likely be a Cram fic btw

Fic based off this post- the apocalypse happens when Sam is in his teens. The fic I want to write is basically a rewrite of s4 but sam is 16 and Dean is 20 and they r 10x more emotional and irrational bcuz they r in the most insane situation that a 16 yr old and a 20 yr old could be in.

No monsters au/serial killer john au- i read this criminal minds/ spn crossover fic and became obsessed so I really wanted to write a criminal minds crossover of my own. Specifically i wanted to write a pre series fic where john and dean get caught but neither of them are talking so the cops bring in a 13 yr old sam and grill him but hes too traumatized to talk. However him being traumatized is interpreted as him being a stone cold psychopath and when the story gets out the media paints him as a serial killer in the making and 10 yrs down the line this reputation is still haunting him

Casifer gets trans woman Sam pregnant with Jack - Sam thinks that shes having sex with Cas but shes actually having sex with lucifer possessing cas. They of course do it raw and afterwards Sam begins noticing some strange things going on with her body but brushes it off as nothing until Lucifer reveals himself. However Lucifer also hadnt realized that hed gotten Sam pregnant until the soul fisting scene. At some point after the whole deal with Amara is resolved Lucifer kidnaps Sam and stashed him with Dagon (and yes i realize that i am ripping off Kelly Klines entire storyline for Sam) However sam of course wins Dagon over with her puppy dogs eyes and compelling personality and Dagon ends up deciding to help Sam and bcuz i refuse to kill off a woman of color she lives and becomes a part of team free will

(Additional Girl!sam fic- i also just want to write another girl sam fic that takes place in the early seasons. my idea of girl!sam is literally just kristen Stewart if she were 6'3. Shes super awkward. Also Jess is a dude and hes Josh Hutcherson bcuz short king)

Every sam girls favorite: Sam visions returns - After the episode which the name for im blanking on rn, bit its the one where they kill that one demon and get the spear of Michael. Anyway after sam kills that demon it ends up triggering his visions returning. Sam does not realize this but the visions are all about an unborn Jack bcuz yeah. Also probably some sam amd mary relationship weirdness bcuz you know. Also probably some Sam and Mary relationship tension bcuz she has once again altered his fate and inadvertently allowed the state of his "humanness" to be altered

But yeah these r the fic ideas that i have so far. Please let me know if any of them sound interesting and u think that i should write them!!

[faithandfairies]

Destiel Musings: Earned

You know, I think the more I watch the relationship between Dean and Cas, the less I like the way it developed. At least early on. They did grow a lot over the years and things started to change for the better around season 11, I believe. Which kind of made the journey more worth it I guess if you think of where it started and how long it took to get where they got to later.

Initially though there’s a huge power imbalance that starts out with Dean pretty much at the angels’ mercy. It means that Dean is pretty much expected to do whatever they ask of him. And what they ask of him is not always good. Part of the reason a more equal relationship develops between Dean and Cas is because Dean refuses to play ball. He refuses to just follow orders from the angels blindly. Which I think initially annoys Cas but then peaks his curiosity. 

But then the power imbalance shifts the other way over time. Cas I think can sense a lot in Dean when it comes to who Dean is and his thoughts, feelings and motivations, which is akin to mind reading. He spends a lot of time looking like he’s staring into Dean’s soul and I’m starting to think that is probably close to what he’s doing. Dean intrigues him and as such he looks at Dean like he’s a code he needs to crack.

On top of that, humanity and human life in general confuse Castiel. He spends a lot of time with Dean trying to understand him and boundaries are clearly not a thing Cas understands initially, physical ones like personal space for sure but probably also mental ones. So I think he probably gets a pretty good feel for Dean pretty early on. 

And this is what starts to make him fall in love and subsequently makes the power shift severely. This wouldn’t be a problem if they ended up on equal footing but they don’t. Not really. Because Cas falls in love with Dean and as a result he is more likely to drop everything for Dean and do whatever Dean asks of him and he often doesn’t realize what it will cost him, usually everything, until after he’s already carried out his choice. 

This wouldn’t be as big of a problem if Dean actually looked out for Cas in turn. But he doesn’t. Not really. He looks out for Sam, because Sam is family. Sam is his little brother and so Dean considers himself Sam’s protector and caregiver even as adults. He’s very much like a helicopter parent. Which in itself isn’t great, but means that he usually wouldn’t leave his brother out in the cold. And while Dean also calls Cas family he doesn’t really treat him as such. He often treats Cas as a liability. Which I guess is the way Dean has learned to treat all family that isn’t Sam. But also because Cas’ power means he often has a target on his back that Dean can’t protect him from when he can’t protect himself. And the fact that humanity confuses Cas makes dealing with him often quite a bit harder, which becomes more of a non-issue in later seasons as Cas cultivates a greater understanding of humanity and human life.

But Dean not looking out for Cas as much and often using him as a means to an end leads to scenarios like Dean leaving Cas in a mental institute on the verge of crazy, after fetching him to save Sam. Or throwing him out of the bunker when he’s human and has nowhere to go and no way to take care of himself. It’s explained as him trying to protect Cas but it doesn’t come off that way. It comes off as Dean seeking Cas out when he needs him and then discarding him like yesterday’s trash without a single lifeline when he doesn’t need him anymore or when having him around will range from being inconvenient to being more trouble than it’s worth.  Of course, Dean often can’t return the favor even when he does want to because Cas is a celestial and the problems he needs help with are more often than not of a celestial nature.

Dean does get better about that eventually. Like with the attack dog spell he let’s Cas crash at their place even though he may be a danger to them and then afterwards he makes Cas take the time to heal at the bunker, which Cas spends binge-watching shows.

I wonder if that’s why the bunker kitchen is Cas’ bare minimum happy place. I mean, it’s Dean offering his home on earth to him and I imagine the kitchen specifically might be the place Dean likes to hang out the most in the bunker other than his room. Dean loves food and I imagine a lot of conversation and little family gatherings happen there. The TV is probably a throwback to Cas’ binge-watching days at the bunker as he was healing up but also serves as the distraction that keeps Cas occupied in his own head.

I also think that Cas’ default programming in relation to heaven does show in the way he is with Dean. Except that he was never supposed to be that way with a human. He was taught by heaven to be a soldier that should be willing to sacrifice everything for their cause. Which is exactly what he does for Dean when Dean becomes his cause. That’s how it starts at least, Cas believing in Dean’s cause which then turns into Cas falling in love with Dean himself.

Cas of course, in contributing to Dean’s cause often makes a ton of misguided choices that are intended to help Dean but instead often cause him and both human- and angelkind a world of trouble. It is a testament to Dean loving Cas and considering him family and also knowing and caring that Cas’ heart is usually in the right place that he keeps forgiving Cas for his transgressions. Not a lot of people get that with Dean. 

In Cas’ defense, he’s an angel who has spent his lifetime following orders from God. And when those orders cease and he is left without a clear blueprint to follow, he gets kind of lost. Mix that in with his newfound fondness for Dean and an admiration for Dean’s moral compass and you’ve got an angel who’s found himself a new blueprint. Whatever Dean says and believes. Only, while Dean is a decent role model compared to the angels, he’s still a flawed human making it up as he goes along. And Cas starts doing that too eventually, only worse because he’s new at this whole ‘free will and protecting those he cares about with actions based on his own decisions’ thing.

I think it’s also important to remember that until season 10 Castiel’s body is not his own in that he is sharing a body with an actual person with their own feelings and emotions and whatnot. So I think that might have something to do with the relationship between Cas and Dean changing for the better in season 11, which is when Jimmy is no longer part of the equation. It’s just Cas in there which means no having to take Jimmy into consideration. I think that his emotions can run free without potential inside commentary and resistance from Jimmy and without it being morally wrong for anything to happen between him and Dean because he’s sharing that body with Jimmy.

[hekate1308]

Present Blessings, A Drowley Advent Calendar, December 4

Masterpost

Read it on AO3

Crowley had long considered Sam Winchester to be one of the best lawyers he had ever met, so naturally, he had offered him a job as quickly as possible, and the temptation of a salary that would ensure he got rid of his student loans much faster than he had ever anticipated had made the young man agree to work for him, even though he had never made a secret of the fact that he didn’t think much of Crowley.

He had never held it against it – as a matter of fact, he thought more of him for it. There were leagues of people who were ready to pretend to worship him if it brought them any advantage whatsoever; Sam Winchester was a different breed altogether.

However, this also meant that, whenever he asked for an appointment, things were not going well, and today of all days, that was not something he wanted to hear.

Sam entered and glanced at Dean, visibly confused.

“Sam, this is Dean, my new PA.”

He could practically see the words Another one? And so fast? popping up over the young lawyer’s head but he knew better than to comment instead simply greeting Dean.

“Heya” he grinned at him as well (Crowley felt something that was almost – no it couldn’t be) and waved his – oh God, he had an actual clipboard in addition to the headset. “Glad to meet you.”

“Yes” Sam said distractedly, probably wondering why he looked so chipper. “It’s about Arthur Ketch” he then added.

Crowley sighed – he really should have known better than to work with him, but at the time it had seemed like a good deal. “What does he want?”

“Let’s just say, he’s threatening to sue – I think there’s nothing to this case, and everyone in the legal department agrees with me – but you should know about it.”

“Alright. Tell me. Dean –“

“Of course sir, I’m writing everything down” he chirped happily and Sam shot his newest hire (if you wanted to put it like that) another confused look, probably because he had called Crowley sir, which Sam refused to do.

“Good” he said smoothly, doing his best not to appear smug. Let that young will-o-the-whisp think being deliberately impolite to his boss was a power move; an actual angel thought it would be better to use the correct terms when addressing him.

“Yes – so –“

“I assume this is about our consulting contract?” It was the most logical option, but with someone like Ketch, he couldn’t just assume.

Sam nodded. Of course he was already carrying the file.

Crowley sighed. “Alright, let’s get on with it.”

And they went through it. To his surprise, his – well, Dean, turned out exactly the sort of PA he had so often wished for. Unobtrusive, made sure they had water and coffee (actually good coffee, maybe he had used whatever powers were at his disposal again), kept meticulous notes. Sam was clearly as surprised as he himself, since right up to the end of her meeting, he kept trailing off to stare at Dean like he had grown a second head.

After he had left, Dean declared, “He seems like a good man.”

“Exactly. So shouldn’t you… I don’t know, be guarding him, instead of trying to lecture hard-working –“

“Guarding?” Dean blinked at him. ”What do you mean?”

“Guardian angels?”

“Why should we be guarding anyone or anything? We’re warriors of God.”

And suddenly, Dean’s eyes looked much older than his… than his appearance, and Crowley became very aware that if he truly was an angel, or if he truly believed so at least, he must think that he was million of years old…

He wondered what that would be like. Actually having seen the world be created. Mesopotamia. The fall of the Roman Empire.

“This assignment doesn’t seem very warrior-like to me.”

He actually shuffled his feet. “Well, I was always part of the artillery. Till I get my wings, that is.”

So there was some form of hierarchy…

Not that he was treating this like any of it was true, because it couldn’t be. It would be utterly insane, just like his sadly attractive visitor.

But still – “Let me see the notes.”

Huh. Those were some bloody meticulous notes. “Where did you learn that?”

“Learn? I just wrote down what you two said.”

Seemed like being an angel brought some perks with it, not that it made Heaven any more appealing to Crowley. He’d always been destined for Hell, and made his peace with it a long time ago.

“Alright. So I assume there’s nothing I can say to make you reconsider?”

“Nope. I want my wings.”

It was interesting, this focus on wings. Undoubtedly, he’d make a psychologist very happy one day in the near future, when Crowley had him removed and seen to.