#of course he brought out his emotional support guitar

[datshitrandom]

Darren Criss | Welcome to Heaven, oh-oh ♬ | Hazbin Hotel's Saint Peter Print Signing Livestream by Streamily | June 12, 2024

[those70scomics]

Fictober Day 9: "don't listen to me, listen to them"

That '70s Show Fanfiction

Hyde paced W.B.'s office at Grooves's headquarters. Angie was present, as was Jackie. She'd taken time off from her busy-as-hell schedule for this meeting.

"It's a dumb idea," he said. "I shouldn't have even brought it up."

"It's not dumb, and I'm happy that you told us about it." W.B. grasped Hyde's arm, stopping him near W.B.'s desk. "You're turning twenty-nine in less than two months. You're engaged. You should want more."

Angie's facial expression showed that she'd been waiting for this day. "I dreamt of running a record store since I was a kid. Then of running all of Grooves someday, and now I'm the company's senior VP of operations. You're allowed to pursue your dreams, too."

"I've already got more than I ever freakin' dreamed." Hyde glanced back at Jackie, who'd remained silent so far. "It ain't fair to to risk it all."

"You don't think creating Grooves was a risk?" W.B. said. I was married to Angie's mother, who was pregnant with Angie. We needed the security of a regular paycheck, but her mom wanted me to be happy. And my risk eventually paid off more than anybody could've imagined."

Hyde gestured in defeat. "I can't imagine this workin'."

Jackie stepped toward him and touched his hand. "Neither can I."

"Exactly."

"But don't listen to me. Listen to them."

Hyde stared at her. "Who the hell are you, and what've you done with my chick."

"Steven." She jostled his hand. "I'm redesigning my whole spring collection. I can't imagine that working either, but I'm doing it anyway. This time next year on October ninth, 1990, you'll have put out your first record on your own label."

"A sub label of Grooves Records, of course," Angie said with a smirk.

Hyde bowed his head and hunched his shoulders. "That's nepotism."

"That's expanding the family business." W.B. patted Hyde's back. "I'm not taking an opportunity away from anyone else. You've earned this. The demos you've played me, you have the ear, son."

Hyde sat in the closest chair. His legs were shaking from what was being said, being offered.

"You've been apprenticing under Frankie Branch to learn audio engineering, music production, for how long?" W.B. continued. "Picked up the guitar expertly in three years of lessons and learned as much by listening to songs. Taught yourself bass guitar. Became Cam's favorite drum student, and that's saying a lot."

Angie gazed at the high ceiling and shook her head. "Edna and Bud gave you no chance to realize you have perfect pitch. You didn't understand what you were capable of. You've had to play catch-up in your mid-twenties."

Jackie stood in front of Hyde and rubbed his arms over his long sleeves. "Your childhood was stolen from you. You once told me all the doors were locked for you but one. Your family, your true family, has unlocked so many. You've walked through a lot. Don't shut this door and walk away."

Hyde covered his face in his hands. His emotions were getting to him, breaking through his defenses. As a kid, Formans' folks signed Forman up for jazz guitar lessons, which he abandoned. Only the acoustic guitar remained, and Hyde played that thing every second he could at the Formans' house.

He used Forman's beginners' workbook to learn tabs that were printed alongside sheet music. Hyde couldn't read music for shit, but tabs he got. Songs on the radio, on records, stuck in his skull like recordings. He figured out how to play the guitar parts himself and, back then, had no clue why could do that.

He understood now.

"Son, are you all right?" W.B. said.

Hyde raised his head and wiped his eyes. "Yeah. Just ... when ya don't believe something's possible for you for so damn long -- and then it happens? Kind of a mind fuck."

"So you'll start your label?" Jackie smiled at him with such hope, such support, he would've fallen in love with her if he hadn't already fallen twelve years ago.

"Yup."

Jackie cheered, and W.B. congratulated him in a proud, fatherly way Hyde was still growing used to.

"What are you going to call it?" Angie said.

Hyde grinned. "Burn-Out Records."

[corrodedbisexual]

Up in the air

Steddie | T | ~5.1k | AO3 link

Based on this post inspo from like half a year ago but now it's done overnight because @sidekick-hero made a joke and I took it seriously 😂

Featuring: AU - No Upside Down, AU - Different First Meeting, AU - 1990s, Flight Attendants Steve Harrington & Robin Buckley, Comic Book Artist Eddie Munson, Fear of Flying, Panic Attacks, Meet-Cute, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Flirting, Eddie Munson Has a Crush on Steve Harrington, Steve Harrington is a Sweetheart, POV Eddie Munson

It's Eddie's first time flying, and he's absolutely terrified. Luckily, there's a very cute flight attendant on board who makes it his mission to stay by Eddie's side for emotional support.

Snippet below!

Eddie adjusts his seatbelt for what feels like the hundredth time in the past ten minutes. He keeps pulling the buckle tighter and tighter around his middle, because that makes him feel safer; but eventually, the belt starts digging into his stomach and making it hard to breathe, only adding to his anxiety, so he loosens it again. And then he starts worrying if he made it too loose, so he tightens it again.

A girl about his age keeps glancing at him from the window seat with an amused smile, eyebrows raised. Eddie finally had enough of her attitude and turns to glare at her. She flinches and turns her attention back to her book.

At least the middle seat between them is empty, so he can have a little bit of privacy. Eddie looks over at people across the aisle who are less lucky than him, packed like sardines into the three consecutive seats. He’s not sure how he’d have survived being constantly nudged with someone’s elbow or knee.

Eddie forces himself to leave his seatbelt alone and takes his own book out of the seat pocket in front of him. He brought The Hobbit, hoping that reading it during the flight would calm his nerves. But he just flips through the pages mindlessly, unable to focus on the words. After a while, he gives up, puts the book away and tries to pay attention to the pre-flight announcements instead.

They are just now reminding passengers that smoking on board is not permitted. Eddie curses. He's nervously itching for a cigarette already; and the Indy to LA flight will apparently take over four hours, Jesus Christ. Eddie did consider some liquid courage before the flight, but frankly, he was afraid it would only make him hurl.

Eddie stops listening after “in the event of an emergency…”, because that alone creates images in his head enough to make him want to bolt out of his seat and right out of this plane while he still can. Instead, he reaches for his walkman with a Metallica album inside and puts on his headphones. With the familiar guitar riffs filling his ears, he finally relaxes a little, his gaze falling upon the flight attendant currently demonstrating how to use a life jacket. He’s really cute, Eddie briefly notes, but the idea of needing a life jacket once again fills him with icy dread. He looks away.

For a while, Eddie just stares blankly at the back of a seat in front of him, tuning out everything else. Out of the corner of his eye, he notices the cute steward stopping next to him. At first, he doesn’t even register that the guy is speaking to him; when he does, he jerks his head up, and is kind of dumbstruck for a moment because wow, up close the steward is even prettier. His eyes are a gorgeous hazel color with specks of green, and his sun-kissed skin is covered in little freckles and moles. His lips keep moving soundlessly as Metallica keeps blaring in Eddie’s ears; he’s smiling at Eddie, and it makes his stomach flip.

Then, he curses himself. Of course the guy is smiling. It’s part of his goddamn job, being polite and pleasant and all that corporate bullshit. Mortified for just dumbly staring at the man for the past several seconds, Eddie rips the headphones off his head, wincing when it feels like he’s plucked a few of his own hairs in the process.

“Uh, shit, sorry, what?”

The steward keeps on smiling politely, glancing at the walkman in Eddie’s lap.

“Sir, if I could ask you please to turn off all electronic equipment during take-off,” he repeats almost robotically, not a hint of annoyance about having to repeat the same thing he said while Eddie was ignoring him. “You’ll be able to freely use it once the seatbelts sign has been switched off, but for now, please keep your walkman off.”

“What? Why?” Eddie frowns. He belatedly realizes it was probably mentioned in the announcements. Which he didn’t bother listening to.

“The airline’s regulations,” the steward explains calmly. “Personal electronic devices can interfere with the aircraft navigational systems.”

Suppressing an annoyed groan, because he realizes it’s not actually the guy’s fault and he’s just doing his job, Eddie clicks the button on his walkman. Fantastic. Now he doesn’t even have his tunes to distract him from the imminent terror of being lifted several miles up in the air in a giant metal box that by some fucking magic is meant to be flying. (Eddie understands cars. Cars make sense. Planes don’t.)

How the fuck can his walkman interfere with the plane? And what, when they’re actually in the air, it will no longer do that? What a load of bullshit.

Eddie doesn’t realize he said that last part out loud until he hears a chuckle beside him. He glances up, wide-eyed as the cute steward, who was apparently on his way to the next row of seats when he heard Eddie, leans close to him and whispers, “It kind of is. But them’s the rules. Sorry about this.”

And then he flashes Eddie a brief grin, which is nothing like his polished customer-friendly smile. It’s like comparing a light bulb to the fucking sun. Eddie still feels the warmth of it in his heated cheeks several minutes later, when the plane is taxiing towards the runway. Sue him; he’s not immune to a pretty boy smiling at him like that, even if it’s just to cheer him up.

Read on AO3

[lsdunesarchive]

Nate Bergman, Kayleigh Goldsworthy and L.S. Dunes Takeover The Ottobar in Baltimore, MD

Words and photos by Samantha Walsh December 6, 2022

Oh, the Ottobar. An hour and some change from home for me, but it feels like a home away from home. In 2018 the Ottobar was named one of the 10 best live music venues in America by Rolling Stone Magazine. Understanding why is clear as soon as you step foot in the door.

This intimate, grungy dive bar type venue hosts everything from dance parties to burlesque shows. But I digress. 

The show is sold out and fans are waiting in the bitter cold for an hour before doors. No complaints from the lengthy line, though. The buzz and excitement about the looming show kept us warm and content. We’re let in and well, as expected, there’s no barricade (I later learned they never have them). If you’re a photographer, you know how scary the words ‘no barricade’ can be. Especially in a cozy little club like The Ottobar with a high energy crowd.

Nate Bergman

The room fills quickly with listeners of all ages. You’ve got everything from your hardcore dudes to younger gals with their parents in tow. At 7:50p.m., Nate Bergman, bluesy rock artist, casually strolls onto stage, and begins to sing his first song acapella. Dude’s got pipes from Heaven, his voice sweet, serenading and raspy (in a good way). 

Hailing from Washington D.C, he’s basically right at home at this venue. Nate strums his guitar and belts his emotional lyrics to a totally immersed crowd. Oh, and he brought Kayleigh Goldsworthy out for a duet. They harmonized angelically, covering “Dancing On My Own”, made famous by Robyn in 2010. A bittersweet banger, and man, did they nail it. Nate ends his set by hustling down the stage stairs, crooning as he makes his way through a sea of people. He invites us to come to his merch table and chat with him after the show. 

Someone from the Boston crowd got a video of Bergman and Goldsworthy dueting “Dancing On My Own”. You can check it out here. Hop on over to Nate’s Instagram, where he posts plenty of acoustic goodness.

Kayleigh Goldsworthy

The clock strikes 8:30 and Kayleigh Goldsworthy graces the stage once again. Beautiful and beaming (literally, she was wearing a really cute bedazzled top), this alternative folk artist’s set follows and complements Nate’s beautifully. Her lyrics heartfelt but a slightly more upbeat. Between songs, she smiles at her fans and replies sweetly to the ones brave enough to shout out words of encouragement to her. 

Goldsworthy is talented and quirky to boot, telling short stories and joking with the audience prior to each song. Her set concludes with a few special guests to support her through her final song. Yep, the boys of L.S. Dunes came out and performed her original song, “Overambitious” alongside her. Henceforth, the crowd of course lost their minds. 

You can watch the music video for “Overambitious” right here. Keep up with Kayleigh via her Instagram page.

L.S. Dunes

At 9:35 its L.S. Dunes turn to take the stage, and boy, did they. Right out of the gate, drummer Tucker Rule plops down at his kit and takes off. The rest of the band joins in on their respective instruments. The shrieks of an excited and packed to the gills venue is comparable to a roar. 

If you’re not familiar with L.S. Dunes (I mean, they are a new band after all), you may see some faces that jog your memory. 

Frontman Anthony Green, like his band mates, has quite the musical history. Circa Survive, Saosin, and The Sound of Animals Fighting, in addition to his solo music. (Dear Child was stuck in my head for 3 days leading up to the show). Frank Iero, My Chemical Romance rhythm guitarist, also was a part of Leathermouth and Pencey Prep. (And if that’s not enough, he has a solo project called Frank Iero and The Future Violents). You’ve got Thursday bassist Tim Payne, Travis Stever, co-founder and lead guitarist of Coheed and Cambria, and drummer Tucker Rule. 

Quite literally a medley of all of my favorite bands as an emo teen, wrapped up into a perfect indie supergroup. I’ve been to an array of shows, all different genres, venues massive and tiny. The energy and stage presence this band has is unmatched, unlike anything I’ve seen before. 

The band plays harmoniously, grinning and grooving. Meanwhile Anthony darts around the stage, whipping his sweat drenched locks around to the beat of each song. L.S. Dunes performed their new album, “Past Lives” in its entirety, by the way. 

They’re at 110% for the whole damn set, it’s really incredible. The entire room was so eager to be closer to stage that consequently, you could not move to lift your arms. The night ends with the boys leaving the stage, only for the crowd to demand an encore. They return to stage and close out with my personal favorite from the album, “Sleep Cult”. It’s a beautifully haunting and weirdly romantic jam. Kayleigh Goldsworthy joins in, playing along on her violin and creating a sweet but somber ending to the night.

While their 2022 tour has concluded, (their first tour!) lookout for L.S. Dunes to dominate the nation in 2023. 

You can listen to their new album, ‘Past Lives’ here.

Want to keep up with L.S. Dunes? Check out their Twitter and Instagram for the latest.

[ducknotinarow]

Rhodes - Family Meme; all that apply uwu and yes the mum one does include Karine as well >:)

Talking about family

"You want me to talk about my family? Whatever not like it's gonna be all that interesting...wait I have to talk about her too? fucking...fine fine whatever."

Send 👔 for my muse to talk about their father

"Dad was different when I was younger compared to now,we just aint like we used to be when I was a kid. He was the one to tell me to put school first but he also was the one that got me into music too. I remember listening to all those old rock bands together and him taking me to music stores to start my own record collection. I guess starting a new family with his old one around still? I dunno changed him I guess. Despite custody mostly going towards him? I felt shut out. Sometimes I wonder if he rather I'd be with my mom more or fully so he could devote all his time to his new family now instead." As Rhodes stated his love for music was started by his father Derek. Who introduced Rhodes to 80's rock bands which are his favorites, especially glam rock bands. Have a lot to do for his taste in music. Rhodes won't really admit to it but of course the divorce effected him deeply. His happy home tearing apart and to Rhodes his father pulled away from him as well. Rhodes relationship with Derek has really just worsened over the years. In part Rhodes knows his father just wants the best for him but its hard to always see that when your father seems so against something that brings you a lot of joy. Music was what truly helped Rhodes get through his parents divorce playing out how he was feeling as a way to express the hurt and confusion that kind of situation brings only to have his father reduce it being nonsense? Even with Rhodes seeming to comply with his father's choice he never really did. He still collects records, he takes part in school events that let him play music to some extent. Even the way he dresses and wear make up is meant as a show of rebel towards his father.

Safe to say Rhodes and his fathers relationship? is very likely to go low contact once he graduates from school. He kind of has a fantasy of applying to the best school. And the night of his party to celebrate? he going to pull out an amp and his new guitar tear up the letter to say he aint going before shreading "we'er not gonna take it"

Despite this Rhode in part dose try and excuse a lot of his fathers actions. He still trying to protect his younger self in a sense. He likes to think one day his dad and him can be close again but the damage may be too much to turn back on.

Send 👚 for my muse to talk about their mother

"I love my mom, shes a for real hippie, she always wearing these crazy patterns on her clothes all in tune with emotions and such. She talks a lot about auras and whatever else I don't fully understand it like at all. But it's like the first thing she'll tell about someone is what color their Aura was and such. Mom's always had my back, when you think of biggest supporter my mom fits the bill. She's the only one of my parents to know I'm gay. She's even met past guys I've dated. Mostly upset I never stick to anyone, she blames herself for that. And well I hate that she blames herself for much. I tend not to tell her any issues going on at my Dad's cause to her it's her fault I'm in the situation I am. She isn't doing it to seem like the victim my mom just like that. She also is way to on board with me liking Buddy and Charlie, she was the one who brought up all three us dating in truth. Like I said shes a hippie so you know any stereo type you can think with that she fits with. Mom's also the best artist ever. Biased and not Biased included. She not afraid to just try something, she mostly excels in mix media art combine stuff together. She sells a lot of art she makes at the farmer market. Stuff for like garden decor wind chimes, stone mosaics. She makes paints as well, she really just found her love for art and full went into it...and I want to be the same with music. I miss that feeling I used to get with it. And well she just makes everything better. Sometimes just calling her up on the phone is enough to make any interaction with fucking bitch ass Karine not as bad. Speaking of her, where do I even start? I don't even understand what Dad sees in that women shes nothing like mom." "She and I didn't always click when Dad did finally introduce me to his new girlfriend, I mean she seemed nice enough even bought me a gift. But that was just to get brownie points with my Dad I'm sure. She thinks she knows everything which she doesn't and she LOVES when I point out when she is wrong. I think it was about the second time Dad had the three of us hang out when I decided I didn't like her. Dad stepped away well we met up for a meal. A diner place, I liked cause we used to go all the time which was why we went there. They severed 'happy face pancakes' on the kids menu of course that's what I wanted. Dad wouldn't care. But the waiter came by when he was away and Karine decided I shouldn't eat that. Sure I sound petty but that has pretty much set a precedent. Karine don't even like me, once she got her own kid she became way more obvious with it. That women gets pissed at any need I have. School meetings, after school stuff, doctor appointments. I don't get why she married a man that had a kid if she was gonna be such a bitch about it." As you can see Rhodes loves his mother more than anyone, she really has set an impossible standard. He finds her way of being to be weird but its said through affection. He likes the weird ones cause of his mom. I'd say his mother has really shape a lot of how he is why he can be so laid back and passionate why creative outlets mean so much and help him the most. His mother to him is the one who put more time and effort into him when his life was falling apart. meanwhile it felt like his dad was leaving him behind. And considering the women he would later move on to? It didn't really help in the slightest. Karine and Rhodes are not on the same page at all either. Part of Rhodes knows somehow she makes his Dad happy so he kind of suffers for his sake. Sadly this continues to be a tread.

Send 🤜 for my muse to talk about (one of) their sibling(s)

"Yeah I got a little half-sister, her name is Erin. She's mixed like me but looks more like a pigeon as well, good thing to or she also be a horrible canadian goose like Karine." He sighs a moment but smiles "But nah Erin a good kid by some miracle. Shes very shy, unless i'm around than shes talking none stop. I don't mind it though I know how it feels to be kind of ignored as a kid. She well pretty much what you expect a kid her age. She likes dolls, she likes pink she loves to hang out with me when i'm home. Karine hates it cause I teach her things. Erin's at the stage where she very much a sponge. Karin really hated it when she was walking around singing the lyrics to Burn in hell. I guess sometimes my feelings can be a bit complicated. I mean at first I didn't want to be her brother...to me it was more proof my parents would never get back together. Somehow I didn't think a kid wouldn't mean my Dad and Karine could divorce as well. I wanted to hate Erin. But...I guess I started to see how she was like me. And I didn't have anyone to be there for me. So I decided to be there for her...its why I don't get the custody changed So, i'm with mom more. Erin needs me."

Rhodes is a bit of a doting older brother to Erin, like himself she took after Derek and is a pigeon like Rhodes. As admitted Rhodes wasn't thrilled when he was told about getting a baby sister. At the time he was still holding out hope for his parents to get back together and everything to go back to how it was. But seeing how excited his Dad was about a baby on the way? It sort of finalized everything to him. He was prett distant with her for years. Keeping to himself he wanted nothing todo with her. But Even Rhodes is immune to a cute little chick saying his name as her first word. Erin is very close to Rhodes. Karine isn't to no surpise, a great mom pretty much expects a kid to be a little adult. Erin is nerd non-verbal cause she tends to be worried about upsetting Karine. Rhodes more laid back personalty however makes her feel more at ease. Rhodes tends to help her with her homework, they have a bit of gap between them in age. Rhodes is 15 where Erin is only five herself. He knows she has a bit of a rough time when hes not home well with his mom. When he is at his Dad he tends to be the target for her mother. Not that Karine is as bad as she is with Rhodes but shes not patient with Erin. So he worries a bit when it comes to her. But they get along pretty well he doesn't even mind babysitting her and hopefully his boyfriends don't mind her crashing dates at times.

Send 🎣 for my muse to talk about (one of) their aunt(s)/uncle(s) Future in laws

Im the mun i'm cheating uwu in a sens eit counts cause they are like family uwu.

"Hmm I'm a fan of Bailey, hes real cool actually and he understand the whole step monster thing. It's kind of nice to not be made to feel like I'm just being some dumb kid when it comes to Karine. Bailey don't make me feel that way at least. Richard's a pretty quite guy himself, but the times I talk to him its clear he has a passion for what he dose. He's kind of dork but it's also kind of cool just how much passion he has for something as simple as making coffee. I guess when they say do something you love that's what they mean? Together? They are grossly in love for sure. Not in a bad way but it explains why Bubbles is way he is. Maple reminds me of my mom a bit more so that once she got an idea you cant really talk her out of it. Shes very nice and welcoming though you pretty get told your coming to dinner and its clear she wants you around. Jasper is more clam himself, he also seems just as welcoming hes got a nice clam air to him. I can see how those two took up raising Chippy." Im the mun I can do what I want XD, Rhodes is still getting to know the other adults, I feel he'll be closest to Bailey of course due to Bailey offering to talk to him with his step-mom issues. And since Bailey basically made his family home open for Rhodes to hide away at when needed? I feel he'll be pretty close to them. He likes all the adults and I feel he feels safe around any of the four of them if his mother isn't around. he isn't used to adults outside him mom treating him as well not an issue so it's just a nice change of pace for him.

Send 🐾 for my muse to talk about (one of) their pet(s)

"I don't have any pets at my Dad's. Karine got a thing about pets, but I did get a pet when my mom moved to St.Canard. She insisted on me needing company when she wasn't around. But I gotta say she is right Joan is the sweetest and chillest Lizard ever after all." I just see Rhodes having a pet but he have a bit out of the norm pet like a reptile of some sort. Joan is his pet lizard, as stated, she is a bearded dragon named after the singer Joan Jett which is her full name. She answers to Joan, Jett, Joan Jett and Jetty.Rhodes handles her well enough to let her rest on his shoulders. She sometimes likes to perch around his neck even well he cleans her tank. He's had her for a few years so she trusts Rhodes to care for her. Rhodes likes to spoil her a little when he can, getting her the best food, or even things to play with so he makes sure her tank has pleantly of things for her to explore and keep her interest. He often takes her out as well when he dose homework or practices on his instruments. Rhodes had her just a bit before his parents divorce, Karine didn't like her so his mom took her. So Rhodes wouldn't have to lose his pet.

[smittenskitten]

Ok I think I am mostly caught up with whatever was in the tag, still catching up. So far what I got from Day 1 -

They acted out some of the scenes from the show

They did the pier kiss 💏

Kinn gave Porsche a bar in the beach 🥺🥺 Kinn sung songs to Porsche while playing his guitar; activating all the singer!bartender!au

Bible in a crop top 💯

Tankhun in a flying carpet? He looked fabulous.

Sailor Perth with other Sailor bodyguards and Tuxedo Tong ✨

KinnPorsche national anthem with Slot Machine

When they said everyone, they really brought everyone in the concert. I wasn't expecting to see the parents but there they are.

Korn singing (!) with his son and son-in-law. Uff Ex Pia did some magic Mike dance number with his on screen kids, so yeah good luck 🥵🥵

And Annita (Porsche's Mom)! Like ma'am! Wow! Did I think she would dance to Doja Cat? No, but she did and looked amazing 🥵🥵🥵🥵

But what I want to know is where is Porsche's other mom? Where is Yok? [Edit: P'Sprite had covid so she couldn't attend. Hope she gets to appear in the next concert]

Mile finally got to see Apo as Zhan Zao 🤣🤣🤣🤣 So kids learn from P'Mile, if you insist enough times dreams do come true.

Time (JJ) and Tem (Pong) made out on stage

Build and Nodt did something I am frankly not able to recover from

The entire audience singing Why Don't You Stay making the cast emotional

Lots of crying of course 😭😭😭😭

EDIT:

THERE IS GOING TO BE A PERIOD MOVIE WITH MILEAPO AND I AM SO ON BOARD WITH THIS! [The official teaser is now up in Be on Cloud's YouTube channel]

NOTES:

Day 2 and onward live stream/reruns were "censored" version cause oh no! It's a gay musical! The leads kissing in front of live audience! The supporting characters also kissing in front of live audience! Think of the chikens 🙄🙄

Wish we had Day 1 for live stream and reruns but I will take what I can get. All the love for the fancam clips from audience. Without those clips we wouldn't get to experience a lot of the things that happened on stage.

[skaterboyfriend]

Kent comforting angsty Sam? 👀👀

my goddd i think there is a lot to be said about just how much kent's absence really fucked up sam. sam seems to let nothing bother him- he's an older brother, he's the man of the house, he's working two jobs while keeping up with sebastian, abigail, and penny- he has this sort of emotional maturity a lot of people don't pick up on, rather dismissing him as some innocent boy who never learned to grow up. no- this is far from correct as sam had to grow up SO QUICKLY with his father gone overseas and the way he acts- his bright personality- it is a byproduct of him actively choosing to do good and be kind over and over again. this is a super long introduction but it sets the foundation that sam wasn't always like what we see in canon- he OF COURSE was an angsty little teen thinking the world was against him and took it out on whoever and whatever he could! more under the cut <3 thank you for this ask! i love talking about themmm <3

*naturally sam, with a lack of a father figure, had a tough time grasping certain concepts that jodi was unsure on how to tackle - sam c. 11 years, before vincent was born, living in the city with his mom that seemed to be so tired all the time- there was this bubbling anger that just festered within him and he couldn't place why. he'd act out in school, frequently get involved in fights- jodi begged kent to come home to support his family through this- sam was going through some major changes as he started to grasp the world around him, realizing that things just might not get better and he's going to be stuck as this little boy with mommy and daddy issues. kent obliged, and took a brief leave from duty, heading to the city to try and support his oldest- although he has not the slightest clue how to ...

*upon seeing kent home from wherever the FUCK he was, sam goes livid. he either completely ignores kent or jabs at him how he should go back to fighting the government's war - he and mom are doing just fine without him. and obviously, kent would BLOW UP too, barking that sam needs to learn some manners and treat him with respect! jodi frequently intervened, upset that they both are acting horribly and need to CALM DOWN!!! late nights with kent back home, the two would talk in hushed whispers in bed about how to help sam- his distrustful of authority figures and hates doing as he's told affecting his school and home life. what to do...

*one morning, kent rummages through the small garage, which is cluttered with the years, a layer of dust wrapped around various photo albums, old shoes, boxes with memorabilia jodi couldn't bear to toss. stumbling upon his father digging around, sam lingers, watching the soldier pull out a large irregularly shaped box... dust blows everywhere and the two sneeze- both have pretty bad allergies, a small smile shared between kent and sam upon seeing how they in the end are rather similar with their blonde hair, brown eyes, crazy bad allergies <3 kent pulls out a glossy red electric guitar- a few scratches on the side, the strings are all snapped apart- but sam's eyes widened as kent brought over the instrument towards him. bet you didn't know your old man was a pretty good player back in the day... how do you think i got your mom to fall for me?

*the two spend the day running around town, visiting music shop after thrift store after pawn shop, picking up a new set of strings, some picks, a nice guitar strap fitted for the young boy- kent teaches sam how to play some chords, the night ending with sam's honorable attempt at the obvious first-time song for beginners: stand by me! with his mother tearing up with how sam seemed to have stars in his eyes when playing the guitar. kent had to depart the next morning but not without sitting down with sam, a hand on his shoulder, a small smile: every time you lose it, every time it seems like there's no point- you've got to take that and turn it to hope for something better. i do it everyday, hoping that somehow someway, i'm protecting you and your mother. you know i love you. and i'm proud of you. and sam finally realizes just how much his father loves him- how it all was for sam, it always was! ever since, sam couldn't put down the guitar, working and working on it, practicing and getting better, turning his fear for the future to love for the present! <3

[parkers-gal]

Can you please write one where the reader is singing about her ex and breaks down crying and Tom comforts her

if you’ve seen the bbc videos of ari g then this will make a lot more sense <3 (i subconsciously chose ag!reader for this so... enjoy) 

wc | 1.5k

｡☆✼★━━ requests are closed ━━★✼☆｡

Today, you’ve planned to record every song off of your thank u, next album with BBC radio in the Live Lounge, just as you did years ago with a few songs from sweetener. It’s been almost three years since your number one album came out, and some of the songs are still yet to be performed live.

You love recording with BBC radio — your band and backup singers are just as included as you are, and there’s always a few invited fans up on the balcony to silently sing along. This isn’t the BBC special, considering you didn’t want to make a big deal out of this. But, because you decided to opt out of the television special, you’ve decided to include a few unperformed songs like “in my head” and “ghostin.”

Clad in a black hoodie, faded jeans and thick platform sneakers, you’re seated on the bar stool in front of the microphone stand. The keyboard player sits behind your right side, your backup singers in a studio box beside his set up. To your left is the drummer and two guitar players — one on the bass and the other on the electric guitar.

In front of you, behind the camera lens, seats Tom in his famous shit happens! Hoodie. His curls are messy and he wears a genuine smile, beaming at you while you put in your in-ears.

With a nod to the camera man, you give your final look of approval to the drummer before the camera starts rolling and the intro to “imagine” starts playing. Tom clasps his hands on his lap; he’s sitting cross legged on a shaggy rug with your favorite stuffed animal in his arms. He’s got a blanket beside him despite the fact that he’s perfectly content with his hoodie and jeans. He looks so soft and gentle, and you want nothing more than to sit beside him and sing your heart out, but alas, you stay put and settle on locking eyes with him while you belt the chorus to the first track of your fifth studio album.

Eventually, the song ends, and after successfully doing the whistles, you take a gulp of water before giving the producer another thumbs up. “Needy” plays and you start singing the intro with as much emotion as you can muster — the album makes you nostalgic. You made it during a time of heartbreak and self deprivation, where you were drunk off your ass and all you had was music to therapize yourself. It brings all those emotions back in a rushing flood of remembrance.

But here, in front of you after so much time, you see Tom with a supporting smile and eye dimples that make you want to write a thousand songs about him. You have love you didn’t have before, and that’s enough.

For the first time ever, you perform “in my head” live. You can already tell that twitter is going to flip when the video releases. As you sing the verses, you try to contain up as much consistency as you can, though your voice wavers slightly and you can feel yourself getting emotional. You power through, though, and when the song finally ends, you release a deep breath and drink some water.

Tom mouths a question, wondering if you’re alright. You assure him as best you can, giving him a small smile and a little thumbs up. You have approximately two minutes to compose yourself, seeing as they’ve brought in a few strings players for the next song. You’re singing the album slightly out of order — not that it matters much, but you are.

The producer, who’s behind the camera, gives you another notion with his hands, informing you silently that the next song is starting. You nod, setting down your bottled water and waiting for your cue.

With a shaky inhale, you let the beginning of “ghostin” consume your body. You’ve done this in the studio, when you first recorded the song. But it’s been so long since you've sung the song all the way through. And even then, you’ve never done it publically.

You take a deep breath one last time before you start singing. You see Tom from the corner of your eye, and you remind yourself that everything is okay, and that these wounds are healed and you’ve grown from the tragedy that was captured in your music.

You finish the chorus for the first time, successfully making it through the first verse. Not without a few stumbles and sniffles, though. When you begin on the second verse, everything comes rushing back to you — moments with Mac and moments with Pete, and moments with Pete where you’re grieving Mac and breaking Pete’s heart. It’s all too much at once and you realize you should’ve tried to rehearse it beforehand.

You wince at yourself, face contorting into that of a pained expression while you attempt to prolong the waterworks. You gasp into the microphone, skipping a few beats and a line in the verse to somehow compose yourself.

Everyone seems to be on edge, realizing how this might not play over well. Tom, though, is especially on edge, antsy while he watches you. He’s reading your body language, decoding your silent thoughts. He knows you’re going to break any second, he knows you’re not going to make it through the song, and while that’s okay, he knows you might not think so. He wants to be there, though, when you do break. It’s his job.

Your hands are shaky while you move up to grip the microphone in hopes of reminding yourself of where you are and what you’re doing. It’s a lost cause, though. You gasp into the microphone again, and suddenly you’re sobbing into the speaker.

You mumble out a quick, “I’m sorry,” before rushing out of the room, stepping off the chair and making your way away from the cameras as quickly as possible. You can hear a few gasps and murmurs from the few fans and the stage crew members, but you don’t pay them any mind,

Tom was off his ass as fast as you were, dropping the stuffed toy and racing after you with crazy curls and furrowed brows.

“Love? Love,” his gentle hands grip your arms and you gasp again, trying to breathe through your thick sobs. He shushes you, “It’s alright, baby. I’m here, I’m here, It's just me.”

You’re hidden away in his chest, nodding as best you can. Tom’s heart breaks as he feels you come apart in his hands. He doesn’t cry, though, not when he needs to make sure you’re okay,

Your nimble hands grip his hoodie tightly, balling up the cloth in your fists. Tom holds you carefully, arms around your waist while he tries to help you control your breathing.

“In ‘nd out, like this, yeah?” You nod, following his heavy breaths. “Everything’s gonna be okay.” He sucks in a breath, unsure on how to approach the topic. “You were good enough, baby. Everything that happened isn’t your fault — it never was, and it never will be.”

You peer up at him, lifting your head and wiping your eyes, You sniffle again, and Tom turns his head in hopes of finding a box of tissues. He’s grateful when a crew member is already standing by with a box in his hands. He leaves the two of you be after successfully handing Tom the box.

“Here, love,” he strokes your back with his hand while you blow your nose into the tissue. After a few silent beats, he breaks the quietness. “Y'alright, darling?”

You nod, wiping your nose with the edge of your palm before pulling the sleeves of your sweater down to cover your hands. You use the sleeves to wipe at the stray tears, and when you finally look at Tom, you wearily smile gratefully.

“Thank you, Tommy.” Your voice is timid and gentle, quite a contrast to the way he heard you singing not twenty minutes ago — before “ghostin” fucked with your mind. “Don’t know what i’d do without you.”

“Of course, my love.” He offers a smile, one you slowly return. “You wanna go back out there?”

You nod, silently leading the way while anxiously rubbing your palms on your jean-clad thigh. As soon as you step back into the Live Lounge, a round of applause goes around until everyone is clapping and cheering for you, including Tom. It warms your heart, and you laugh for the first time after crying, right into the microphone for everyone to hear.

“Thank you all so much,” you swallow thickly while the clapping settles down. “I’m so sorry about that. Let's give this another try, yeah?”

The producer mouths something at you, “Are you sure?”

You nod, almost excitedly, and he speaks into his headset. The camera starts rolling and the strings start “ghostin’s” introduction. With one final deep breath, you lock eyes with your sweet British boy right as you start the first verse again. This time, you make it all the way through. For the first time.

[kekoma]

— semi as your boyfriend.

can’t imagine not crushing on this man. hope you enjoy.

many many thoughts with this man.

so many that it hurts in good way.

first of all, semi MOST LIKELY named one of his guitars after you.

and i’m not talking about some ordinary guitar that he may occasionally play or anything— nah, i’m talking about the most expensive one that’s gorgeous.

takes the utter most care of that guitar since he plays it often and no one is allowed to touch it.

def learns the songs you like and covers them because this man has bomb ass vocals. i said what i said and won’t take it back.

or he just plays the melody, asking that you sing instead (if you’re up to it)

when semi isn’t covering/playing songs for you then he’s writing them about you.

you’re his sole inspiration for most of the songs he ends up creating and you’re also the first one to hear it before anyone else too.

also something to point out— he creates most of those songs during the night when you’re around.

semi knows most late nights can pull out the strangest topics but it can also open you and him up at the same time when it comes to emotions.

so he’ll be staring at you from his computer chair with his guitar resting on his lap, listening precisely to every word that slip pass your lips as you laid on his bed; rambling about your emotions and how you’re thankful that the universe has put you two in the same timeline.

suddenly he starts strumming a soft tune that makes you feel like you’re floating and turning those words you said not too long ago into something lyrical, something that you two will understand but those that hear it would need to decipher (because there’s no way he’s making it easy for outsiders to understand)

AND if you know a few things about music, can sing well from taking lessons/taking a chorus class in school and/or play an instrument then semi is going AWOOGA 😍 

def can see him wanting to collab with you or asking if you could be his hidden vocals/use your voice in general (meaning he would ask you to record a fake voicemail or say his name a certain way so he can put it in the song)

although if you aren’t comfortable with that concept then he understands and won’t push you to do anything.

whew let me move on because i could literally go on and on about this man being musically talented.

anyways, semi def creates a bunch of playlist for you. 

each one having a description for why it was made and the feeling he wants to give off with it.

something i feel like he may also do is send over songs he currently listens to and says you should listen to it too so you both feel more connected.

BUT really stepping aside from music.

he’s extremely caring and respectful towards you.

truly studies you, making mental notes about everything and makes sure he avoids cause any discomfort.

when it comes to caring— semi semi here might go out his way to show you through his actions if he feels his words and physical touches may not be enough.

i’ll say he’s a bit clingy— dude loves being around you no matter what.

for sure invites you to his volleyball practices and games.

you’re his lucky charm and he enjoys the thought of knowing you’re supportive of him when it comes to volleyball.

also he’s supportive of anything you do as well, even shows up to your events too (but if it clashes with a volleyball then he won’t be able to go obviously but he makes it up by ordering food in and asking you to tell him all the details about what happened)

now i briefly brought pda earlier and its about that time to talk about it... does eita like it?

yeah he does but it’s not very common in public.

the best you’ll get from him is holding hands, small pecks on the lips/cheeks and ONCE in a blue moon will he wrap his arms around you from behind.

there’s no real reason for why he’s like that but hopefully you’re understanding.

now in private; he does a bit more pda. kisses become a bit more frequent, won’t pass up the chance to hold you in his arms through cuddling or whatever.

side fact: semi definitely likes when you’re in between his legs, your back pressed against his chest and the guitar would be settled on your legs— basically teaching you how to play (if you ever asked him to)

“where do i place my fingers next?”

“right here... you’ll bring your pinky up a bit but keep these two fingers on the the second fret.” he’ll carefully move one of your fingers just to put them in the correct place.

“then you’ll strum. i’ll let you try it without my help this time.”

literally would smile when you do it, finding himself falling deeper in love with you than before.

semi adores that you’re willing to learn something he’s very passionate about it and appreciates you for even taking the time for it when you could do other things.

vvv soft and we stan that here.

moving on— lets talk about nicknames really quick.

drumroll please 🥁🥁🥁 

top nicknames: my melody/melody, love, angel and occasionally he’ll toss in lotus along with bambi. 

had to keep it cute and interesting <3 semi isn’t going for the basics.

something to mention, we’ve all seen the way he dresses in casual clothes... now you can either a) hype him up about his clothes to the point he’s no longer concerned about how tendou says he looks uncool or b) help the boy out with his style just a bit. all up to you cutie.

heh now let me discuss dates right because whew~ dates with this cutie? hits deliciously.

of course most of the dates are music related so tickets to a concert is on there, going to certain places (such as a park with others and a little picnic set up) to see free performances from new/upcoming artists and etc.

“that last set was actually good, don’t you think so melody?”

“yeah~ i liked the emotions the singer had in her voice. it really connected with me but what do you think?”

“same thing as you. however, did you notice how they had a shift in the cords that created the perfect harmonic? and it wasn’t completely soft too.”

“now that i think about it, my ears didn’t catch on the first time but yeah. oh look! the next act is going up~!”

but when he isn’t dragging you out for that then he mainly takes you out for a drive/walk around the city, cafes, those karaoke places that also serves food, shopping and stay-at-home dates which he tries his best to make them fun (there’s probably more but im just naming a few here)

dates are normally chilled with him and always fun so we loving it.

bonus: semi FOR SURE has you as his lockscreen. no doubt about it.

he loves waking up to your picture in the morning or even checking the time because he gets to see how adorable his love is.

also on his sns (instagram mainly)— he has a highlight called ‘me and my melody 🎶🤍’ which is filled with a bunch of pictures of you two together.

the pictures are so cute that they end up on Pinterest and everyone starts  spamming your dms with “so 👀 does your boyfriend have any siblings?”, “can you drop a tutorial on how to get a fine boyfriend like yours?”, “ayo 😳 think i can have him on the weekends and you get him for the weekdays?” and much more crazier things we won’t mention here.

another bonus: probably sings you to sleep if you’re having trouble sleeping. don’t try fighting me on this because i won’t allow it.

ANYWAYS, to conclude this before i have complete semi brainrot— dating this man is a 10/10 and it’s worth it.

we love semi eita over here <333

© all content belongs to kekoma 2020. do not repost, modify or translate.

[royalwilmon]

fic: all my life is arm in arm with you

wilhelm/simon: the world doesn't seem as overwhelming when Wilhelm has someone by his side, holding his hand through it all.

Leaving a couple of things purposely ambiguous. Namely, the when, where, and what. The focus here is on Wilhelm’s anxiety and Simon’s response - the setting and circumstances of this interaction can be whatever you imagine, or nothing at all. Content warning for a detailed description of the physicality of an anxiety attack. Note that I’m basing this on my own personal very real experiences with anxiety. The title is from “When You’ve Got Trouble” by Liz Longley. I strongly suggest you give it a listen after you read this!

[Read on AO3]

The room was getting smaller.

Or maybe it wasn’t. It was hard to tell. Wilhelm’s eyes darted from wall to wall. Each time he looked back, he could have sworn that they were closer still, inch by inch. It scared him as he thought about what might happen if the walls closed in on him completely. He began to feel claustrophobic. He could feel the lost air in the room tighten in his throat. It felt like two strong hands were reaching through the back of his chest to grip both of his lungs, firmly squeezing with increasing intensity.

Wilhelm brought a hand to his collarbone and pressed down, countering the phantom pressure with his own. Slowly he rubbed, willing the balance of forces to provide some sort of relief. When it didn’t, he pressed harder.

At the same time, Wilhelm’s breathing quickened, letting itself out of his body in erratic puffs. He tried to breathe normally, but it felt like his lungs were working independently from the rest of his body. The more he focused on trying to control it, the more he felt like each and every part of him had disconnected from the rest, unable to work together to keep him breathing.

Wilhelm hated this. He hated this too familiar physical reaction to the world around him. He hated his mind for causing it, his body for reacting, hated himself, hated this, he hated, hated, hated. The thoughts bounced around his mind, ricocheting off the edges and multiplying to create a swarm of hateful ideas. It was suffocating.

Just as he felt his knees begin to buckle, gravity tempting him to pull his body downward and collapse, he startled at a sudden touch. He felt a pair of arms snake around his middle. Warm, soft, familiar. One hand resting flat on his stomach, the other reaching up, trailing along his arm gently until the hand settled on top of his own. The hand that still pushed helplessly against his chest.

Simon.

“Wille?”

Simon’s voice was barely more than a whisper, hardly more than a breath, but it still rang clear in Wilhelm’s ears and instantly filled his body with unexpected yet comfortable warmth. Wilhelm wasn’t expecting Simon to be around. But then again, Simon always did seem to have a sort of sixth sense for knowing when Wilhelm needed him most. It was one of an infinitely growing list of things he loved and appreciated about his partner.

Wilhelm didn’t answer Simon’s greeting right away, the fullness in his throat still too sizable to allow for enough air to speak. Wilhelm instead focused himself on the feeling of a second heartbeat behind his, where Simon’s body stood flush against his own. It was slower and steadier than Wilhelm’s, keeping time with the gentle breathing he could feel warm the back of his neck.

Wilhelm then remembered something he and Simon had practiced many times before - trying to get him to match Simon’s steadier breathing. Inhale, exhale. It had been a long time since Wilhelm’s anxiety had been this bad. As he focused in and slowed his breathing - inhale, exhale - Wilhelm took a moment to be so thankful that Simon had been nearby to help him through this now. He had been doing so well for so long and wasn’t sure he was still able to handle it on his own. Inhale, exhale.

“Wille, it’s okay. It’s okay.”

Simon let go of him, and for the briefest moment, the hands on Wilhelm’s lungs began to tighten again. He struggled on his inhale. Before he could exhale, Simon was there in front of him, and he reached out to pull him close in a needy embrace.

Wilhelm clung to Simon like the world would end if they did not perfectly merge their bodies together into one. He buried his head in Simon’s neck, breathing in the scent of him. Wilhelm took every opportunity to use his arms to try to pull Simon closer and closer. Simon was simply there for him, letting Wilhelm grasp at his body and offering his embrace in return. They stayed that way for some time, mostly in comfortable silence, save for when Simon would occasionally whisper Wilhelm’s name or words of comfort sweetly into his hair.

After several minutes, Simon pulled away to get a good look at Wilhelm. He reached up and held Wilhelm’s head in his hands, his fingers curling around his neck and thumbs resting gently on his jaw. Wilhelm immediately relaxed into the touch.

Simon was calm. His eyes were warm, and they were looking directly into Wilhelm’s. The only sign of distress was the slight frown on his lips. Simon brushed his thumbs across Wilhelm’s cheeks, wiping away some tears that Wilhelm hadn’t even realized he’d shed.

Simon kept on holding his gaze, not breaking eye contact even to blink. Wilhelm realized at this point that he was waiting for him to speak. Although he knew that Simon was patient and would give Wilhelm as long as was needed, he wanted Simon to understand that he was alright. Or, rather, that he would be alright soon. He closed his eyes, swallowed, took a shallow breath, and then looked back up to Simon.

“Hej.” Wilhelm’s breath hitched as he spoke, but he was glad just to have gotten sound out.

“Hej,” Simon replied easily as his frown began to turn upward. He removed one hand from Wilhelm’s face to tuck a stray lock of hair behind his ear. The piece of hair promptly fell right back, but Simon let it be. “How are you feeling?”

It wasn’t uncommon for Simon to ask this question at any given time on a typical day. That was one of the many things Wilhelm adored about Simon. He always wanted to be in tune with how Wilhelm was feeling. The pair had worked hard early in their relationship to make sure they communicated their emotions well enough to stay on the same page, through the good and the bad alike. The more they were able to talk about how they were feeling, the stronger their relationship became. So, Wilhelm made an effort to always answer the question as honestly as he was able.

How was he feeling? Wilhelm carefully considered the question.

Mentally, his thoughts were still racing at a rapid pace: jumping to conclusions, dwelling on the “what ifs”, fixating on the unknown. This was true of how Wilhelm’s mind functioned normally, but the anxiety amplified it tenfold. Physically, his breathing had slowed, but the pressure on his lungs still weighed down on him. His body now felt uncomfortably warm. Wilhelm felt the heat burning in his fingertips. Meanwhile, his head was so full it felt empty.

He answered. “Dizzy. A little.”

“Okay,” Simon nodded. “Okay, let’s sit you down.”

Simon pressed a kiss to Wilhelm’s cheek and then grabbed his arm and led him over to a nearby sofa. The pair sat side by side, each at an angle to face each other, knees touching. Wilhelm immediately took Simon’s hands into his own.

Wilhelm traced his fingertips against Simon’s, grateful not only to busy his hands but also to touch something so familiar to him. He knew every surface, bend, and scar on those hands by heart. Simon’s fingers were calloused from the guitar he had been picking up to practice more and more frequently as of late. These hands made music. Wilhelm loved these hands just as he loved the man they belonged to.

“Sorry, I didn’t think this would-” Wilhelm began, eyes focused on where their fingers were intertwined. Simon shook his head and interrupted him.

“No, don’t apologize, Wille.”

“I’m glad you’re here.” Wilhelm exhaled. He shifted his body to rest his head on Simon’s shoulder. He smiled. “Thank you for being here.”

“Do you want to talk about it now or later?”

Wilhelm appreciated the question. He knew it was important to talk about what triggered this intense burst of anxiety, and he absolutely would speak with Simon about it in time. Still, having the option to wait a while before starting to tackle his problems was a great comfort to him. Simon had always been great about giving Wilhelm proper space and time when he needed it.

Wilhelm answered. “Later.”

“Okay,” Simon nodded, turning his neck so he could press his lips to Wilhelm’s forehead. “What can I do for you now?”

“Just stay with me.”

“Of course,” Simon answered as if it was the only response that existed, his voice so full of certainty and assurance. Wilhelm had never felt safer.

Sometimes, the world felt too big for Wilhelm. It made him feel small when he knew that that was not what the world needed from him. There were expectations and traditions he needed to abide by that often felt difficult for Wilhelm to handle. It was then that Wilhelm started to doubt whether or not he could truly be what everybody around him wanted him to be.

It was Simon who made him feel like he was enough. Simon made him feel safe, and loved, and seen. Simon made him feel capable and strong. Knowing he had this man’s love and support made Wilhelm stronger, and Wilhelm knew he would move mountains to give it all back to him. They were a team.

The world didn’t seem as overwhelming when he had someone by his side, holding his hand through it all.

It would be okay.

He would be okay.

♫

[nerdypanda3126]

An Interesting Little Relationship

This was written for the @lovebugs-and-snakecharmers Sprint Fic Challenge.

The "rules" are three 15-minute sprints with 24 hours for light editing, which includes new writing to smooth transitions or make it feel complete. Except I broke a few rules on this one... so I used I think six sprints total (lost count a bit 😅) and in between sprints I let myself keep writing until I got stuck. 

This time around I used the prompt: "As if life hasn’t been hard enough lately…you just met your soulmate, and they’re not even human. (Supernatural/monster AU)" 

And @airi-p4​ wrote this minific based on a Julie and the Phantoms AU and it all just kinda clicked in my head. Although fair warning for those of you who know the show, I did take away the ability to handle the instruments to play more with the "can't touch real things"... thing.

Read on Ao3 

The question had been on Marinette’s mind ever since she first met Luka. Which wasn’t too out of the ordinary. For those with visible marks, it was often the first thing people noticed. Marks stood out like wedding bands—jet black for those still waiting, brilliant color for those who’d already found their soulmate, a permanent reminder of the first touch. 

Luka had three black marks like smudges across the backs of his fingers, as if he were destined to brush his knuckles against some stranger’s at some point in his life and discover what everyone hoped to. 

The problem was, Luka’s life was already over. 

He and the band had first shimmered into existence when she found their demo buried along with the rest of their things in the attic and popped it into the dormant CD player. As she’d listened, nodding her head along to the punk rock beat and appreciating the skill of the guitarist, suddenly there they were, three ghosts standing right in front of her.

She’d screamed. They’d screamed. Eventually everyone calmed down enough for Luka to explain that her attic was their old studio and introduce his sister, Juleka, and their drummer, Ivan. And as he gestured to himself, her eyes went straight to those three black marks that she’d been watching ever since.  

She rubbed at her own mark—three black streaks on the side of her neck, just below her ear—as they worked on writing a new song together. Luka was brainstorming aloud, pacing back and forth soundlessly, while she handled the pen. 

Touch was tricky for him. If he focused sometimes, he could pick up small things. He’d managed to grab a pick once and strum it across his guitar in its stand and he’d been giddy about it for days afterward. Sometimes it made her think that maybe it wasn’t all that crazy that her marks seemed to match with his. Maybe it was possible… 

“Hey, you okay, boss?” Luka asked, breaking her out of her thoughts as he took a seat next to her on the old couch and laid his arm casually along the back of her seat. She could almost imagine his weight settling into the spot, although of course he himself was weightless. She frowned at the unburdened upholstery under his thighs as if it had personally offended her. 

“Isn’t it weird?” 

“Isn’t what weird?” 

“You can sit there, and you can pick things up sometimes and you don’t go through the floor or anything, but you can’t touch… other things.” 

As if to prove her point, Luka propped his legs up on the small table she’d brought up, crossing his graffitied high tops across her notebook and smirking. She rolled her eyes and went to shove him off out of habit. Her hand passed right through him, making his feet look like a staticky TV picture for a second before they were back to normal. She frowned at them, too. 

Luka seemed to take her meaning because he moved his feet back down and leaned forward on his elbows instead, tracing lazy patterns on her notebook with his painted fingernail as his eyebrows furrowed in thought beneath his blue-tipped bangs. The paper crinkled under his touch in the quiet between them.

“Yeah, it’s weird,” he finally agreed. 

She kept her eyes focused on those three black marks. For a moment she fantasized about taking his hand and tracing them, but she knew her hand would pass through his like she was trying to hold onto air. “It just doesn’t make sense,” she started again, “if you can’t touch people, why do you still have your marks?” 

He laid his hand flat on the table, then, considering them. She rubbed at hers again self-consciously.

“I don’t know,” he said quietly. “I guess it’s maybe because I died before I met them. You know, seventeen. I didn’t have much time. Jules still has hers, too.” His eyes flicked to her hand covering her mark. “Why do you ask?” 

“It’s stupid,” she muttered. “I’ve just been wondering if maybe… you know…” 

His eyebrows disappeared behind his bangs as a disbelieving grin spread across his face. She wished she could shove his shoulder or tug his beanie down over his nose or flick the gauges in his ears or do something to him. As it was, she tossed her pen at him, taking what small pleasure she could from it when it passed between his eyes, at least marring that grin for a split second. 

“Shut up,” she said, her face flaming as she turned away. “I told you it was stupid.” 

“What if it wasn’t, though?” he asked. “I mean, you said it yourself, I can touch other things. And who knows how these things really work, right? Maybe it doesn’t have to be a touch, maybe it can be… I don’t know, the intent of a touch, or—” 

“Luka…” His name came out half as a warning and half as a sigh. 

“I’m just saying, maybe we could try. Maybe—”

“It’s not you, Luka,” she said, her tone slipping out with more petulance than she meant it to. Which one of them was she trying to convince, anyways? “It can't be you. You’re—well, let’s face it. You’re a ghost. You're not real. Even if it was you��which it’s not, but if it was—I mean, how would that even work? I can’t touch you, you can’t touch me, and the marks only change when someone touches you for the first time. Everyone knows that’s how this works, and we—” 

She stopped when she caught sight of his face again. Only a moment ago she’d been wishing she could wipe the grin off his face and now that it was actually gone, now that his shoulders were slumping in disappointment and his eyebrows were furrowing again, now she wished she hadn’t brought it up in the first place. 

It hurt more than she thought it would. That maybe he’d thought about it, too, and wanted it as much as she did. 

“I’m sorry,” she murmured, avoiding his eyes. “Forget I said anything.”

She felt it when he poofed away a moment later, like a small bubble had popped leaving the atmosphere a little harder to breathe. She groaned and let her head fall against the table with a heavy thunk, then thunked it again a few more times for good measure. 

***

And he did forget about it. Or at least he didn’t bring it up again over the next few weeks, although she did catch him looking at her marks more often. Usually with the same concentration as when he was trying to write his own lyrics down using the pen he was getting better and better at manipulating. 

It wasn’t until she overheard him and Juleka arguing one night that she realized it was even still on his mind. She didn’t mean to eavesdrop, but Luka’s exasperated tone made her pause before opening the door to the attic. 

“She deserves someone real, Jules. Her real soulmate, whoever the lucky bastard is, and I’ll never be able to give her that. I mean, okay, let’s say I do tell her, and by some miracle she wants to give up waiting for her soulmate and be with me. Our options are basically I stay here, forever stuck at seventeen, and I watch her grow old and…” 

The way he trailed off made Marinette picture him turning that focused gaze of his on his guitar as his jaw tensed, the way he sometimes did when his words failed him. It always made her think he wished he could let the guitar speak for him. 

“I mean, she can never have a family with me, we can’t share our lives together,” he continued bitterly after a moment. “Hell, she can’t even tell anyone I exist because they’ll think she’s insane. Or what if I somehow manage to cross over and she’s left to try to figure out how to move on? It’s just…” For once Marinette actually heard him sit heavily on the couch, the leather whooshing out from under him and the supports creaking under the weight of his emotion. “I don’t see the point in telling her.” 

There was a long pause and Marinette was starting to wonder if Juleka was even still in the room with him, but then she heard a sharp smack and Luka’s annoyed protest. 

“The point,” Juleka shot back with more force in her voice than Marinette was used to hearing, “is that I’m sick of watching you moping around like this. And besides, don’t you think Marinette deserves to know?” 

“Well—” 

“Look, maybe you’re soulmates and maybe you’re not. You may never know, right?” 

“Jules, I don’t think you understand—”

“But you love her, don’t you? Regardless of fate or whatever.” 

“Of course, but—”

“So tell her.” Juleka’s voice was like steel and it made Marinette shiver to think of being on the receiving end of it. 

She waited, breathless, for Luka’s response, but she only heard a small pop as one of them left. Tentatively, she pushed on the door and let it swing open. Luka was still on the couch with his head in his hands and his fingers dug into his hair as he stared at his shoes. He didn’t seem to notice her entrance until she knocked on the doorframe. His head snapped up and his eyes widened, but before she could even say ‘hello’ he popped out of the room, too, leaving her mind spinning and her heart pounding. 

***

He wasn’t avoiding her. If anything, they spent more time together now than… before, but he always managed to make sure someone else was around. Her parents, especially, because he knew she wouldn’t talk to him in front of them, but that didn’t stop him from doing those annoying ghost things that drove her crazy. 

Like pushing her plate to the side just as she was about to take a bite, or turning lights off  randomly and grinning at her when her parents wondered about the fuses, or tucking doodles and notes and lyrics torn out of her own notebook but in his scratchy handwriting into her shoes and her hair bands and her backpack and—why did he have to be so infuriatingly adorable? 

She was running out of reasons to explain why she was blushing and smiling so much nowadays. Especially since her mark was as black as ever. 

***

It took a while, but eventually he slipped up. It was a band meeting. Juleka was missing, which wasn’t surprising; she’d been gone more often than not and anytime they asked where she’d been she’d mutter an excuse and hide, blushing, behind her hair. 

So Ivan was acting as Luka’s buffer, preventing her, as usual, from asking him about what she’d overheard, until Luka mentioned a name, Mylène, and Ivan went quiet before he popped away without another word. 

Luka muttered an apology to the air Ivan had been occupying before he froze and turned those same wide eyes on Marinette. She half-expected him to poof out, but instead he picked up his pen and started twirling it nervously through his long fingers. After what felt like an eternity of silence, she huffed out a breath and dove in. 

“I heard everything, Luka.” 

He nodded, flicking his eyes up briefly before focusing back on the pen. “I know.” 

“So? What happens now?” 

He shrugged and leaned back against the couch, avoiding her eyes. “Your call, boss.” 

He was trying to look indifferent, unaffected, but she could tell by the way his pen was still spinning that he was only trying to distract himself. She rubbed at her marks, considering, then shifted closer to him. If he were actually sitting next to her, her knee would be leaning against his. Instead the boundary between them shimmered like a mist. It gave her a strange sense of warmth mixed with melancholy. She put her hand out on her knee, palm up, offering it to him.

All but his pen had frozen when she moved, but when his eyes flicked down to her hand, the pen slipped out of his focus and clattered to the floor. 

She couldn’t help her small giggle at his astonishment. In a daze, he reached out to hover his hand over hers, his fingers arched so that his fingertips were poised on top of hers, but not quite daring to close the distance. 

When he finally did, both of their shoulders fell when his hand passed entirely through her. 

Luka pulled away with a small, bitter chuckle. She flexed her fingers, wishing that they felt any different. It should feel different. It was only because he wasn’t—no, not that he wasn’t real , because he most certainly was. And she couldn’t even say he wasn’t alive either, because Luka was the most alive person she’d ever known. Or at least that’s how he made her feel. So, then, it was only because they were on two different planes of existence. Two different places. That’s why they couldn’t… 

“This is an interesting little relationship you and I have,” he muttered, but when she looked over he was smiling, flexing his fingers the same way she was. 

She nodded to agree. Interesting. That was a good word for it. 

***

“When did this happen?” Marinette asked as Juleka sheepishly moved her long hair aside to show the bubblegum pink mark across the back of her shoulders. 

Juleka shrugged and hid her eyes behind her hair. “I dunno. A week ago maybe?” 

Marinette shared a glance with Luka. About the same time she started disappearing from band meetings, then. She couldn’t help letting her eyes travel down to Luka’s hand. Juleka found her soulmate in the afterlife. That proved it was possible, right? Or what if Luka was meant to find another ghost like Juleka? What if she was actually the one standing in the way of his happiness? What if—

That strange sense of warmth passed through her and she realized Luka had come over to stand next to her and pass his hand through hers. It was a simple reminder of the other day and she got his message loud and clear. 

I choose this. 

If she could’ve, she would’ve laced her fingers through his and squeezed. Instead, she passed her hand back through his, echoing his message with her own. 

Me, too.

***

The ache to touch him didn’t fade. It was always there, tugging at her heart. But it was nice, what they had. She was getting used to his way of being with her. The way he would sit closer now, letting his shoulder not quite brush against hers. Or the way he would reach for her hand, not seeming bothered when it went through her and instead letting his intent speak for him. 

Maybe it wasn’t how she thought things would go. But it was working for them. 

She was leaning over her notebook with her headphones in, focused on writing something for him when it happened.

She didn’t even know he was there. Usually he’d give her some sort of indication that he’d entered the room. A prickle on the back of her neck or an impression of warmth on her cheek or he’d make some sort of noise as he sat down. Maybe he did and she didn’t notice, but she did notice when her hair was gently pushed aside off her neck and it fell over her shoulder instead. She did notice the lingering sense of a featherlight touch. And not the ghostly touch she was used to. An actual touch. 

She froze and pulled her headphones out and turned to find Luka standing behind her with a look of absolute awe on his face, his eyes locked onto the small expanse of skin he’d managed to bare. He’d managed to touch. 

On the side of her neck, just below her ear.  

“You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that," he breathed. 

[dissonantdreamer]

I am going to get a lot of hate but I really need to get it out of my chest, I don’t like Joel that much, especially from the first game. That being said, if people like him, I have nothing against them.

To me, especially in part 1, Joel was such an asshole, obnoxious piece of shit, I really had a hard time connecting to him.

And worst of all, he reminded me of someone that I know in real life who I really don’t like and he really left a bad taste in my mouth. Part 1 was one of my favourite games of all time and only because of Ellie. Joel’s death was made to illicit anger from the player and honestly, his death really didn’t affected me that at all but when I saw Ellie entering that room and seeing her so broken, that elicited so much anger from me. It wasn’t until part ll, that I saw a different side of Joel, a more vulnerable, supportive, loving side that I really liked. Playing TLOU2 in its subsequent playthroughs, Joel’s death brought the emotion ND was looking for, I didn’t even need Ellie, tho, Ellie bring there really hits hard, at the same time, I started liking Abby, so, yeah, I was bit conflicted .

Of course, he was not perfect in part ll either, but it really showed me a side of Joel that i , personally, never saw in part 1. Even Joel and Ellie’s relationship was something I had a hard time seeing the appeal of because again, most of the time, he was an asshole to her, it was not once but twice when he wanted to get rid of her. And he told Ellie to repress her feelings and she kept bottling it up and she eventually blew up in part ll, not in health way. I am not saying their relationship was toxic, I am just saying that their relationship is very flawed, it’s not perfect or “ father-daughter relationship goals” people think they are. Because a perfect father-daughter duo won’t lie to her after she confronted him about one of the most important things in her life. Part ll made me really like Joel, so I don’t really understand or agree when people say that Joel was disrespected and blah, blah.

Because as someone who doesn’t like Joel from the original, part ll seriously changed my opinion on him.

Anyways, sorry for the rant. Hope you’re doing well, take care!

Well, said anon. I got thoughts on thoughts on thoughts about this ask and under the cut they go cause there are so many of them and it's a true ramble:

I think it's valid not to like Joel in Part I. He wasn't supposed to be a likeable person. Even the good things he's done has been for his own selfish reasons. He was a good a father as he could be, single and trying his best to be there for his kid while starting he own business, and we get to see that in the beginning through photos and how much Sarah loves him. But he's still human. That's what makes these characters feel real and why this series is so good. They feel real. Joel's world is rocked in a way he never could have expected, his daughter dying in his arms. That changes anyone, and without any sort of therapy, his mental health is going to tank.

Joel is bitter and hurt, he hurt his brother, he became a hunter to survive, hurt innocent people, killed innocent people, tried to kill himself. He's lived a life where he can't answer certain questions Ellie asks. Part II we see that even the worst people we know can be better if they have the chance, the space, and the support, to heal. Jackson was good for Joel, he was a protector to the community and he had time for hobbies, like wood working and teaching guitar. He was able to grow in a way that was taken from him. We see glimpses of that in Part I, finding comics for Ellie, the giraffe scene, teaching her about football, trusting her to cover him, but the final scene shows that he still is a broken man. Ellie was never going to fix that.

Joel and Ellie live in a broken world, their concept of love and trust is twisted by the people they encounter. No one you meet is entirely good or bad, they too are operating in the gray morality that we see throughout the series. It's easier to push forward when you compartmentalize your feelings, easier to cope with what you've done. Those don't go away and both Joel and Ellie have to face that at the end of the game. There is no perfect father. No perfect mother. We place this idea that the adults in our life know what they are doing, but they like us don't know what the fuck to do. They do what they think is best and it isn't always what's best. They hold information back thinking it helps and in the end you took a perfectly good kid and gave it poor mental health. Even parents who are "good" still fuck up. It's trial and error, erring on the side of error. You can only hope what you're doing is the right thing, and you won't know until it's too late to fix.

I can't speak for others, for me Joel and Ellie's relationship was never goals for how a parent and child should be. It was realistic and honest. It reminded me of what my father went through with me, made me see how he tried, and how I would be affected if I ever lost him. It doesn't absolve him of the things he did, in the same way that the way Joel's death affects Ellie doesn't absolve him of what he'd done. It's the forgiveness that willingness to look someone who messed up over and over trying their best, facing their worst, and saying "I don't know if I can forgive you, but I'd like to try." that is the closest to redemption you can give someone. That what happens next is entirely up to you and if you want to fix what you broke.

Joel got what was coming to him, his past isn't erased because Ellie chose to give him a chance. He wasn't disrespected. He's done worst to other people. The tragedy of the story is that we don't get to see them heal. Joel has a chance to do better and Ellie has the choice she never got. That's taken from them at the worst possible time. As much as it hurts, that's how it is in the world. Nothing is promised to last. Which is why you have to do what you think is best every day and hope to all fuck you're doing the right thing.

Your criticisms of Joel shouldn't be met with hate. It's healthy to look at your favorite media and see elements you don't fully agree with and discuss them. Joel isn't perfect. We want him to be, because we're playing as him, and later playing as someone who loved him, flaws and all. Complex characters bring out complex feelings and some people allow themselves to ignore the complexity for the feelings that are easiest to feel. It's easy to attach yourself to a heightened version of a character, we put the wrong people on pedestals all the time. It's human.

No one in the world of The Last of Us can escape the inevitable just because they saved someone or were saved. Same as it is in the real world.

In the end all you can do in the world is try.

thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts anon.

[backbreak]

1010 Headcanons

(I’m working on a few art pieces and I feel like I need to explain them here. It’s also just a way for me to keep track of em’)

Pre-NSR Headcanons

Before the battle with B2J, I believe that 1010 didn’t really have individual personality's. 

They were only robot’s following their programming at that point.

Of course, Rin was a little different. I’m not saying he had a personality, but his soul purpose was to be the voice of the group. He talked for them.

The other’s just followed lead.

Post-NSR Headcanons 

When 1010 was destroyed and the factory heavily damaged, Neon J had to start from scratch.

He didn’t alter the designs. However, he decided to develop their AI to become more complex. 

Of course, their personality’s were based around their core themes. (Zimule-bad boy, Haym-soft boy, Purl-hew-cool boy, Eloni-funny boy, Rin- leader.) 

After the AI’s were completed, 1010 started developing on top of that; Forming their own thoughts and opinions on the world around them. (I’ll get to how that affects them soon.)

Now one of my main headcanons around 1010, is that their fight was actually very traumatizing. I mean, imagine seeing your siblings exploding around you, or having your skin torn off and the entire world screaming at you in response. That’s pretty messed up.

Anyway, Each of the members had different reactions to what happened, and it greatly affected their views.

Now we enter what I like to call the “NJ, your kids need therapy” section.

Rin

Now in the beginning, Rin was confused. 

He initially thought things were just gonna go back to normal, but he was quickly shoot down. The other’s were doing things on their own, now. They weren’t going to him anymore, and quite frankly, he felt left in the dust. Rin felt like he lost his purpose.

After that realization, he made different attempts to regain his role. These attempts varied in severity, from calm coursing, to aggressive behavior. His anger and grief rising for each failure. It only deepened the cracks in their relationship, and his brothers have started avoiding him.

On the topic of grief, Rin is currently on step 3. And he decided that the ones to blame for this change is non other then B2J. He excuses his anger as being mad at them for hijackings their concert and humiliating his brothers, but he just want’s things to go back to normal.

He did manage to reconcile with them, though. It was rough, but they managed to become friend.’

That brought him back to square one, confusion. He’s trying to figure himself out and Zuke is helping him out along the way.

Purl-Hew

Purl-hew was neutral to the change.

He’s salty towards B2J for what they did, but he prefers to just avoid them. 

He became very quiet compared to the others, and he prefers to spend his time alone.

Despite being built to sing, Purl-hew struggles with expressing himself through words. Instead, he became inspired by Eve and started painting.

From the events of the fight, what effected Purl-hew most was when their exoskeleton was exposed to their fans. He felt humiliated and it hit his self-esteem hard. You can see it through his art.

Zimule

Zimule was slightly overwhelmed. But after a few days, he got used to it.

He had a few traits that fit bad boy role; snarky, bold and confident. However he’s also wary and doesn’t act spontaneously. 

The thing that got Zimule buzzing from the battle, was how quick Neon J was to use them as disposable weaponry. It made him question how much they actually meant to him. Would he just destroy them if they stepped out of line? Were they just expendable robots to him? It made Zimule hesitant whenever he was near Neon J.

He also began asking why he made music and whether or not he was actually passionate about it.

That’s when Mayday came in.

After witnessing her play her guitar, he was immediately hooked. He tried to play it off cool, but his eyes were filled with child-like wonder every time she played. (They basically bonded over their mutual love for guitar.)

Soon after, Haym looped himself into their little ring and they just clicked ever since. (If you ask em’, they’ll say Mayday is their little sister.)

Haym

Out of all of them, Haym was the most ecstatic about the change. The new sensation that filled him with excitement.

He may be known as the “innocent boy” of the group, but he’s the most mischievous of the bunch. He enjoys playing pranks on his brothers. And -although it usually comes back to bite him in the butt - he makes a lot of sarcastic remarks.

Has the mouth of a sailor.b(i.e he curses)

The battle with B2J didn’t really faze him to much.

However, being destroyed and rebuilt made him question something; Is he even alive? Was what he was feeling real, or was it just programing? Was his existence as a robot even real? Existential crisis ensues.

In his search for comfort he came across Zimule and Mayday hanging out, and they immediately hooked him in. Now Haym and May are holding a vs war on who can pull the best prank.

Eloni

Eloni - like Purl-Hew - was neutral to the change, if not a bit scared.

He' been to busy being everyone else emotional support buddy to work on himself.

lill’boy feels underappreciated by the people around him.

That’s why we must love and appreciated this boy.

Eloni often uses his hands when he’s talking. Exaggerating his poses to better get his points across, or for comedic effect.

(And I don’t actually have any good headcanons on him, so I’ll just cut it off here. I’ll update this some day.)

[spine-buster]

The President Wears Prada (William Nylander) | Chapter 30

A/N:  Okay, so, special announcement.....

The President Wears Prada is ending at Chapter 35.

I know a lot of you weren’t expecting this, but that is where I have planned it to end.  It’s a natural end.  Nothing will be forced.  There’s still a lot left to go, a lot to happen with Aberdeen, Willy, and everybody else, and a lot to write about.  I haven’t written up to it yet, but I know exactly what is going to happen.  I didn’t want the end to come as a shock to you, which is why I’m announcing it now.

In the meantime, enjoy this chapter!

July 1st, 2020

Aberdeen Bloom was with William on the rooftop of his condo building.  

She’d spun a wild web of lies to make sure she could be with him after he begged to see her for Canada Day.  It was a bit awkward this year, because it landed on a Wednesday, right in the middle of the week, but she’d managed.  She’d told Kasha she was with her family.  She’d told her family she couldn’t stay the whole day, and because they spent the morning and the afternoon together already, they were okay with that.  

She was getting too good at lying.

“What are you thinking about?” William asked as they lay together on a recliner they had dragged from underneath pergolas so they could see the night sky.  Though there was too much light pollution in Toronto to see a sky full of stars, there were still some bright stars in the sky along with the glowing moon.  From all the way atop the building, they could barely hear the noise from the city below.  

She smiled.  “For the first time, nothing,” she said, cuddling her head onto his chest even more as he held her hand against her heart.  “My mind and my heart are at ease right now.”

She could feel him smile.  He liked how she felt so at east with him.  He liked how he could make her feel that way in between the stress of her job and moving forward in her career.  He brought her hand up to his lips and kissed it.  “I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Can I show you how much I love you?”

She raised her head from his chest to cock an eyebrow up at him.  “We’re not having sex on the roof of your condo,” she deadpanned.  

He snorted.  He didn’t blame her for thinking that’s what he wanted.  Ever since he got back to Toronto, they fell back into the habit of sneaking around.  Most of it happened at his apartment now, in between skating at Scotiabank Arena and Aberdeen telling Kasha she’d have to be there the whole day and not just the few hours when they boys were in.  “No, minskatt.  Something else.”

“What something else?”

William shifted his body so he was sitting up more, causing Aberdeen to shift too, straddling his lap to face him instead.  She ran her hands over his chest quickly before he took them, kissing them both, before she watched as he pulled his phone out of his pocket.  “You weren’t the only one I was talking to during quarantine.”

She furrowed her brows at him.  She knew he wasn’t cheating – he wouldn’t be risking her career and her reputation if he was just going to cheat on her – so she had no clue what he meant by that.  “What does that mean, exactly?”

“I thought you deserved some good news during the lockdown…quarantine…whatever,” he began.  “So I got Kyle to send me Max’s number.”

“Who’s Max?”

William rolled his eyes and giggled.  “Max Kerman, minskatt.  From the Arkells.”  He watched as her face lit up before he continued.  “He told me to tell you they’re coming out with a new album.  Well – new.  It’s, like, an acoustic album.  They’re re-imagining all of their songs as if you’re singing them around a campfire,” he explained.

“Really?” Aberdeen was excited by the news.  “That’s so cool.  I love when they do acoustic sets.”

“Mhm,” William nodded.  “They’re releasing it in August.  But they’re actually including one new song.”  He paused for dramatic effect.  “Want to hear it?”

Aberdeen’s eyes bulged out of their sockets.  “What do you mean want to hear it?  You have it?!”

William nodded.  “Max sent it to me.  I told him about how much of a fan you were, and he remembered you from the mentor’s trip, so he didn’t mind so long as we were the only ones who heard it.”

He could see her eyes light up like fireworks.  “Well—well of course!  I’m not gonna leak it!” she said as if Max were standing in front of them.  “Is it acoustic too?” she asked.  William nodded.  “What’s it about?”

“Let’s see,” he smiled, fiddling around with his phone, shaking slightly.  “I’ve listened to it once or twice.  I think it’s a love song.”

Aberdeen waited impatiently as William found the song.  He turned the audio up on his phone to the highest level as she heard Max’s voice count the beat in.  When the acoustic guitar started, she automatically fell in love with it.  Melodic, as always, sounding like a perfect Arkells song.  She swayed back and forth gently, and at that point, she saw William staring at her.  

I think about you all the time I can’t get you off my mind

Aberdeen’s body seized up immediately.  I think about you all the time.  I can’t get you off my mind.  I think about you all the time.  I can’t get you off my mind.  I think about you when I’m not even thinking.  I think about you when I’m not even thinking.

A rush of emotion flushed her entire body.  “Willy—” she tried to get out, her voice strained as she pushed away from him.

“Minskatt—” he grabbed her hands on his chest as she pushed away so she couldn’t push away any further.  “Minskatt, come on—”

“—Willy what did you do—”

“—Minskatt, minskatt shhhhh,” he cooed as he saw tears begin to fall down her cheeks.  “Minskatt, listen to me—”

“Willy,” she stressed, looking him in the eye.  “Willy, is this song about me?  About us?”

He nodded softly.  “I got him to write a song about you.  Like your dream.”

Aberdeen burst out into tears, covering her face with her hands as she sobbed into them.  William stopped the song and leaned forward to wrap his arms around her, bringing her into his chest to cry.  He held her tightly and placed a kiss on the crown of her head.  “Why are you crying, minskatt?” he asked.

She didn’t respond at first.  But when she lifted her head from his chest and wiped her eyes to be able to see him clearly, she finally did.  “Are you joking?  Why am I crying?” she asked rhetorically.  “My boyfriend just got my favourite band to write a song about me!” she exclaimed.

“But you like that I did that though, right?” he asked.

She rolled her eyes.  That at least made her smile.  “Of course I like it, you Costco hot dog,” she said, making him chuckle.  “But I don’t – how did you – I mean what – how—”

“I called Max, and I told him about how there was this girl,” William said.  “I didn’t tell him too much.  Don’t worry.  I didn’t tell him it was you.  But I told him what was important, and some things to include.  And he wrote it, and sort of filled in the rest with his own stuff.”

Aberdeen couldn’t believe what she was hearing.  William had gotten Max Kerman to write a song about her.  About them.  Without even revealing their secret.  And he’d recorded it.  Mastered it.  Put it on an Arkells album.  Would tour with it.  Sing it to crowds—

“The best part about it is whenever we hear it on the radio, we’re the only two people in the world who know it’s about us,” William said softly, looking her in the eye.

Aberdeen started crying all over again.  She let her face fall back into his chest as he held her again.  She cried her eyes out.  This was, bar none, the most romantic thing anyone had ever done for her, let alone a boyfriend.  She was so overwhelmed with emotion that she almost couldn’t handle it.  William, for his part, let her cry until she was all cried out – until she lifted her head again and wiped her eyes again too look at him.

“Can I play it?” he asked.  

She nodded her head, preparing herself.

I think about you all the time I can't get you off my mind If they only knew Who I've been talking to You got a place off the park I'll come on by after dark Was nervous then When you let me in

We were hanging at cross town parties, oh Just killing time until the main event

And it hurts All throughout my insides I couldn't stop if I tried Loving you I'll never learn So I'll call you when I'm outside You said, "The key's behind the porch light for unit two" I thought of maybe quitting But there's no quitting you

You said that the fridge is dry But you got some red, you got some white The drunks outside Singing lullabies Slow dance swaying back and forth Whispering "What's mine is yours" When you say my name Hits in a different way

You call me out when I'm talking nonsense, oh And I'll kiss you when I got nothing to say

And it hurts (oh oh oh) All throughout my insides I couldn't stop if I tried Loving you I'll never learn (oh oh oh) So I'll call ya when I'm outside The key's behind the porch light for unit two And I thought of maybe quitting But there's no quitting you

My whole life I'm scanning for the exits, oh Lying next to you I don't wanna leave

And it hurts (oh oh oh) All throughout my insides And I couldn't stop if I tried Loving you I'll never learn (oh oh oh) So I'll call ya when I'm outside The key's behind the porch light for unit two And I thought of maybe quitting But there's no quitting you There's no quitting you

By the time the song finished, Aberdeen had stuffed her face into the crook of William’s neck.  She let some last tears fall.  “You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” she said in his ear.  

“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me, minskatt.  Jag tänker på dig när jag inte ens tanker.”

“Jag tänker på dig när jag inte ens tanker.”

***

July 10th, 2020

The NHL announced its Return to Play Plan on May 26 with 24 teams in competition for the Stanley Cup.  The tournament begins with the Stanley Cup Qualifiers, which include 16 teams paired in eight best-of-5 series and a round-robin among the top four teams in each conference to determine seeds for the Stanley Cup Playoffs. "I want to make clear that the health and safety of our players, coaches, essential support staff and our communities are paramount," Commissioner Gary Bettman said when announcing the Return to Play Plan. "While nothing is without risk, ensuring health and safety has been central to all of our planning so far and will remain so. "Let me assure you that the reason we are doing this is because our fans have told us in overwhelming numbers that they want to complete the season if at all possible. And our players and our teams are clear that they want to play and bring the season to its rightful conclusion." The format was determined in meetings of the Return to Play Committee, which included executives from the NHL and NHL Players' Association, and five players: Ottawa Senators defenseman Ron Hainsey, Edmonton Oilers center Connor McDavid, Winnipeg Jets center Mark Scheifele, Toronto Maple Leafs center John Tavares and Philadelphia Flyers forward James van Riemsdyk. The qualifiers are being held at two hub cities: the 12 Eastern Conference teams are in Toronto, and the 12 Western Conference teams are in Edmonton, also the site of the conference finals and Stanley Cup Final.  A comprehensive system for testing is in place in each hub city, and each team was permitted to travel a maximum of 52 personnel, including players, coaches and staff. "Obviously, we anticipate playing over the summer and into the early fall," Commissioner Bettman said in May.  "Obviously, these are extraordinary and unprecedented times.  Any plan for the resumption of play, by definition, cannot be perfect. And I am certain that, depending on which team you root for or which team you cover, you can find some element of this package that you might prefer to be done differently.  But we believe we have constructed an overall plan that includes all teams that, as a practical matter, might have had a chance of qualifying for the playoffs when the season was paused. And this plan will produce a worthy Stanley Cup champion who will have run the postseason gauntlet that is unique to the NHL."

***

This was Aberdeen’s second training camp for the same season.  She never thought she’d ever experience a professional sports team’s training camp in her entire life, let alone two.  But her life had taken a turn one year ago (thirteen months now, if we were really counting) when she met William at that bar and had slept with him.  Everything she had experienced this year was…surreal, to say the least.  And that was just in her personal life.  Never mind her professional life.

Although the lines were blurred these days between her personal and professional life.

At Scotiabank Arena, she knew the entire team was on the ice a few floors below Brendan’s office.  She knew Sheldon was putting them through drills, making them skate laps around the rink, shoot at the net – whatever they needed to do to feel like hockey players again.  Whatever they needed to do to go all the way.  Whatever they needed to do to win the Stanley Cup.

“Aberdeen,” she heard her name being called by Brendan.  She shot up from her seat and made her way into his office.  He looked up at her through his glasses as he continued to focus on his laptop screen.  “Close the door behind you, please.  And sit.”

Suddenly her nerves got the best of her.  He never usually needed her to shut the door unless they were talking about something confidential.  “Is everything okay?” she asked, sitting.

He sighed, taking off his glasses and laying them beside his laptop.  He took a good look at her before he began speaking again.  “Aberdeen, I’m going to ask you a serious question, and I need you to think about it before answering me.”

She gulped.  “Okay…”

“Do you want to come into the bubble?”

She was shocked.  He hadn’t spoken to her about the bubble yet, and on the first instance he did, he was asking her to go into it.  This was a grand total of three days before the clubs had to submit the final list of the 52 personnel who would be going in, so she was sure she wasn’t being considered anyway.  “Me?”

He nodded.  “You’d fulfill roles for both Kyle and I, and you would be helping the content creator with the social media aspect of the bubble,” he explained.  “But Kyle and I were speaking, and as we were going through the list of employees to bring, your name came up.”

“I…me?”

“You’re reliable.  Your hard-working.  We know you’re not going to break any rules.  And fuck, there’s some extensive rules,” he picked up a heavy duotang, wagged it at her, before plopping it down on his desk again.  “But it’s going to be tough going in there.  Psychologically.  It’s not going to be easy.  Especially if we go all the way.  And believe me…we want to go all the way,” he stressed.  “That’s why I want you to think about it.”

***

“Brendan asked me to be in the bubble.”

Aberdeen and William had a bad habit of asking things or blurting things out after sex while they were lying in the bed, she with her tits out, trying to catch their breaths.  When she looked over at him, his eyes were bulged out.  “What?”

“Yeah,” she nodded her head.  “He wants me to fulfill my role and help the content creator with the social media aspect.  But yeah…he wants me in there.”

Aberdeen didn’t know what she was expecting to hear from William, considering the information they already knew about the bubble and knowing that much more information was to come, but it definitely wasn’t a decisive, stern, “No.”

It was her turn to whip her head to look at him.  “Excuse me?” she asked.  “No?”

“No,” William shook his head.  “I don’t want you in there, Aberdeen.”

Aberdeen furrowed her brows, not understanding why William was acting like this and saying these things.  She shifted so she was propping herself up on her elbow.  “William…I…what?”

“You…I…listen,” he began, sighing, “as much as I love you and as much as I’m gonna miss you when I’m quarantined in there, I don’t…I don’t know if I want you being in there.  I don’t want you to experience that.”

“Why not?”

“We’ve already gotten the rules.  We can’t be in each other’s rooms.  Aberdeen, we can’t even speak in the elevators.  It’s…I don’t know if I’d be able to do all that knowing you’re there too.  But even more important than that, I don’t want you to risk anything.  Your safety, your health.”

“Willy…” she cooed, bringing an arm up to drape around him.  In turn, he wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close, placing a quick kiss on her shoulder.  “I know you want me to be safe, but I’ll be safe in there.  If you’re safe, I’m safe in there too.  What’s the difference?”

William continued to shake his head.  “I don’t want you to have to go through, psychologically, what I’m gonna have to go through.”

She brought a hand between them to cup his face.  “You don’t have to be the martyr here, Willy.  It’s not like I want you to go through it either.”

William sighed, nuzzling his face into the crook of her neck.  She could feel his lips graze her skin on her neck and shoulder, but he stayed silent.  He didn’t say another word.

***

July 12th, 2020

“I’ll do it.”

“You’ll do what?”

“I’ll come into the bubble.”

Brendan looked up from his desk, finally.  He took off his glasses.  “You’re sure about this?”

“Positive.”

“Because once you say yes you can’t back out.  We have to submit the names to the NHL officially tomorrow.  And once you’re in the Royal York, you can’t leave unless it’s a family emergency – death, birth of a child—”

“I know.  I read the package,” she nodded her head.  “I understand what I’m getting myself into.  I’ll do it.”

***

July 16th, 2020

Aberdeen walked gingerly into the coffee shop Brendan had sent her to.  In the middle of a pandemic.  She understood cases were now fairly low in Ontario, but she was still apprehensive.  People shouldn’t just be…going places.  Walking into offices that weren’t their places of work or coffee shops that weren’t their regular coffee shops or grocery stores that weren’t their regular grocery stores.  Places that they didn’t know.  That they weren’t used to.

Yet here she was.

She stood at the door awkwardly.  There were exactly three spaces for indoor dining when, in regular times, she knew there would be much more.  At one table, a couple sat with masks on and coffees in front of them staring at their phones.  At another, a girl who couldn’t have been older than here was sneakily taking a Snapchat selfie.  At the third—

“Aberdeen Bloom?” the woman sitting at the table asked.  Her eyes crinkled slightly, signaling to Aberdeen that she was smiling behind her mask.  “Please, sit!” she motioned to the chair.  

“Hi,” Aberdeen said awkwardly, extending her hand but then pulling it back violently before half bowing as a form of saying hello.  She was so fucking awkward.  She didn’t even know what this was for.  “That’s me, Aberdeen Bloom.  I’m Brendan Shanahan’s personal assistant.  And your name is…”

“I’m Beth Zadakis, the major features editor of Toronto Life magazine.”

Aberdeen’s breath hitched in her throat.  She was going to fucking kill Brendan.  She was going to go back to the office and murder him in cold blood.  “It’s so nice to meet you,” she said politely, thinking about the gold-plated envelope opener in Brendan’s desk she could use to stab him.  “You’ll have to forgive me, but Brendan didn’t really give me any information about this…uh, meeting,” she said.  “What is it that he needs from you?  Or you from him?”

“Nothing, actually,” Beth’s eyes crinkled again.  “It’s actually more so about you.  Brendan tells me you’re a writer.”

Aberdeen gulped.  “I’m definitely trying to be.”

“Have you submitted to us before?”

Aberdeen nodded.  “Just to the memoirs section.  I think it was Sandy who read my work, but it was ultimately rejected.  At least, that’s who I got the email from.”

Beth nodded.  “Sandy’s actually left to take a job with The Globe and Mail.  And due to some promotions and transfers, there’s actually an opening for a contributing editor – it’s what we call our writers.”

Aberdeen knew very well what Toronto Life called their writers.  She had dreamt of seeing her name on that list for years now.  “Why…I mean—how do I factor into this?” she stuttered out.

“Brendan tells me you’re going into the NHL bubble.”

“I am.”

Beth leaned in slightly.  “We’d like for you to write a feature for the magazine about life in the bubble.  The hotel, the boys, the games – everything.  Hockey in a pandemic.  A full feature, anywhere between five to ten thousand words.”

Aberdeen’s body felt like it was on fire.  She was sure her eyes were bulging out dramatically, but at this point, she didn’t care.  “I can do that,” she said, nodding her head.  “I can do that.”

“If you can pull it off, Aberdeen, you’ve got a job with the magazine.”

Her heart fluttered in her chest.  “I can do it.  I won’t let you down.”

Beth shifted slightly in her seat and took out a piece of paper.  “I’m going to write you the name and contact information of my senior editor, Alec,” she said.  “He’ll want to meet you and speak to you about the piece.  But it’s a go, Aberdeen.”

***

“A major feature, minskatt?” William’s eyes lit up at the news Aberdeen had just shared, her giddiness and excitable energy rubbing off on him quickly.  “That sounds important.”

“Is is important!  It’s the longest feature of the magainze!  Willy, it’s usually the cover!” she exclaimed.  “The—the cover!  Do you know how much of a big deal that is?!”

“I can tell from how much you’re freaking out about it,” he smiled.  He reached to grab her hands and intertwined their fingers.  He pushed them and crossed them at the small of her back before moving closer to her body and giving her a quick kiss.  “Look at you, minskatt.  I’m so proud of you.”

“Well, I haven’t written it yet.”

“Yeah, but you’ve shown me your writing.  And it’s fantastic.  So you’re gonna knock this one out of the park.”

Aberdeen knew how lucky she was to have someone like William in her life, always supporting her and always being her biggest cheerleader.  While other people had told her to pursue other things, he was there encouraging her – the silent support she always wanted and needed.  “I love you.  D’you know that?” she asked tenderly, looking up at his big blue eyes.

He could only smile.  “Not as much as I love you.”

She chuckled slightly.  “You realize if I knock this out of the park, that means I become a contributing editor at the magazine.  I become a writer.  My dream.  And that means I leave the Toronto Maple Leafs.”

“That means I can finally kiss you in public.”

Aberdeen smiled.  It did mean he could finally kiss her in public.  It meant a lot of things.  They could finally be open with their relationship.  They could go out on dates publicly.  They could go out to dinner.  She could bring him to San Remo Bakery.  They could have picnics in the park.  They could walk along the lake.  They could post on Instagram about each other.  She could finally have the name set as ‘William Nylander’ on her phone as opposed to ‘Head Empty’ (maybe she’d keep it that way).  They could do so much.  So so so much.  “It would be bittersweet leaving…” she bit her lip.  “I mean…I love my job, Will.  I love all the guys.”

“Brendan wouldn’t have put you up for the job if he didn’t think it would be a great opportunity for you,” he shrugged his shoulders.  “The guys would miss you but they know you want to become a writer.”

“But what if I can’t deliver?”

William shook his head.  “Brendan wouldn’t have put you up for the job if he didn’t think you’d be able to deliver, either, minskatt,” he said.  “I know you can do it.  We all do.”

***

July 17th, 2020

“You must be Aberdeen Bloom,” Alec Young said with no hint of any emotion in his voice as Aberdeen stood in the doorway of his large, expansive office.  As per COVID-19 protocols, there were very few people in, but apparently Alec was important enough to be in the offices working instead of working from home.  She imagined he had piles and piles of articles to edit for future issues.  She was surprised he even had time for her – granted, it was a quick lunchtime visit, but still.

“Yes sir, that’s me,” she nodded quickly, clutching her purse handles in her hands.  

“Beth tells me you’re going to be writing a feature for us, possibly,” he said.  “About the NHL bubble.”

“That’s the plan, sir, yes.”

He eyed her.  “Sit.  And close the door behind you.”

Aberdeen did as she was told, sitting in the plush chair more than six feet away from his desk – his office was that big.  She settled in but he made her wait as he typed away furiously into his laptop before he finally stopped and turned towards her.  “She told you the length?”

“Yes.  5,000-10,000 words.”

“And what we’re looking for?”

Aberdeen furrowed her brows slightly.  “I…I assume about life in the bubble.  Playing professional sports during a pandemic,” she said.

That was when he smiled.  “No Miss Bloom.  We’re looking for…more.”

“More?”

He clasped his hands together on his desk.  “We know what hockey players are like, Miss Bloom.  You’ve been working for the team for about a year now, right?  I’m sure you’ve seen the shenanigans they get up to.”

“Shenanigans?”

“You know exactly what I’m talking about.  The booze, the drugs, the women.  They’re professional athletes,” he said.  Aberdeen thought back to a hotel visit in Calgary where she found Mitch Marner and Jake Muzzin playing mini-sticks in the hotel hallway like they were a peewee team on their first-ever road trip; she also thought back to the snowball fight a bunch of them had in Montreal where they were giggling like schoolgirls while also deliberately aiming for each other’s nuts.  If Alec only knew.  “That’s what you’re covering for us.  The shenanigans.  Sneaking women into the bubble, the fights, the booze – everything.”

“I…” she began to protest, not knowing which words should come out of her mouth first.  “They’re…they’re nothing like that anymore.  They’re just not,” she said.  Alec looked unconvinced.  “These are guys that are bringing their gaming consoles into their rooms at the Royal York.  They’re worried about the wifi being too weak when everyone’s gaming that it’s gonna lag or something.  They’re not sneaking in women—and drugs?  I don’t even know where to—”

“Listen,” Alec said firmly, holding his hand up to get her to stop talking.  “Either you get us the scoop, or you don’t.  If you get it, you have a job here, and the guarantee that your article will be on our cover and be front page on the magazine racks and newsstands.  If you don’t get the scoop, you don’t get the job.  It’s up to you.”

Aberdeen thought back to when Mike Babcock got fired.  She thought back to getting called by Brendan late at night and less than an hour and a half later she was on the MLSE private jet.  She thought back to just before going into the locker room, and what Kyle had said to her.  “You know Aberdeen, Brendan trusts you.”  She thought back to what he said after he thanked her for not leaking the information.  “You could have sold that information to any newspaper or reporter and they would have offered you a job.  But you didn’t.”

She remembered what she told him.  “I would never burn this bridge.  I’d never sell Brendan or the team out like that for personal gain.”

And then, what Kyle followed up with.  “This city is rife with opportunity for people who take advantage of others.  But you’re not like that – at least yet.”

That was before everything.  Before she had sex with William.  Before she carried on a secret relationship with him behind everyone’s back.  Before she started lying to everybody.  Had she changed?  Was she a person, now, who would take advantage of others?  Would she take advantage of the organization that had given her so much for her dream job in writing?  Was she that person?  A person who would lie to get what she wanted?  Fabricate entire stories just to secure a dream job?

The answer, to her, was immediate.

No.

But she looked at Alec.  “I understand,” she said instead.

He smiled.  “Good.”

[lennonmccartneystuff]

I Was There For You in Your Darkest Times

Summary: Cool and confident 16 year old John Lennon meets a shy and broken Paul McCartney, 15, still reeling from his mother's death. When John loses his mother a year later Paul helps him through it.

Pairing: John x Paul (platonic)

Warnings: like one curse word

Author's note: I'm so excited this is my first fanfiction! Overarching note for all of my works...I don't own the Beatles haha

John Lennon rushed down the hallway on his way to class at Quarry Bank High School. He bumped into a boy slowly crossing the corner. He knew he recognized the kid, it was Paul McCartney. Something about Paul always confused him; he got a vibe from him like something was wrong but he couldn't figure out what. People made fun of him a lot and John didn't really engage with them because something about Paul made him feel like he didn't need more problems.

They collided and Paul fumbled to pick up his books trying to spit out an apology but just sounding muffled and anxious.

"I- sorry I didn't um, I didn't mean to"

"No worries man, my fault." John said while handing him his books and looking at Paul for a moment, trying to read him.

The boys went their separate ways heading to their own classes but John couldn't get Paul out of his mind for the rest of the afternoon and evening.

"Had Paul always been so nervous and quiet?" He thought to himself on the way home. Granted, he didn't know Paul personally but he had seen him around the last few years and something had definitely changed about him as of late.

John sat at home fiddling with his guitar and writing the first few verses to a song about a mystery boy (obviously influenced by his curiosity about Paul's story). He always turned to music when he couldn't get something off his mind. Sure, it wasn't necessarily a quick fix but it helped.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

For the next couple of days John just kept watching Paul. Not to be like a stalker or anything but he wanted to kinda know if he was ok. Problem is you don't just approach someone you've spoken to like twice to ask if they're going through something so he was at a loss.

Anyway, John had a free period so he headed down to the auditorium following a brief stop at his locker to get his guitar. He always went there there to practice in peace since it was empty during fifth period.

When he turned the corner he could swear he heard a voice but couldn't figure out who it was. He peered into the room and saw Paul McCartney huddled on the floor clearly trying not to cry.

"Hey man, are you ok?"

*sniff* "I'm fine, just leave me alone."

"I'm not going to tell anyone about this so if you want to tell me what's wrong, you can."

"I- um... today's a year since my mom passed away."

"Paul. I-I'm so sorry."

"Breast cancer"

"I had no idea"

"Is that a guitar?" Paul looked over to John's hand.

"Yeah! Do you play?"

"Yes! And bass too, that's my favorite."

"no way that's sick. We should play some time. Come by after school?"

"Yeah! I'm down, that sounds fun."

The bell rang and the boys went their separate ways; John with a new understanding of what Paul was going through and Paul happy that someone wanted to talk to him about something other than how he had been coping for the last year.

At the end of the day John and Paul made eye contact and headed to their own houses aknowledging that they were going to get together later.

Later they hung out at John's house playing around different musical snippets. John, with a little hesitation at the thought of bringing of bringing up mothers, answered Paul's question saying that it was his mom that got him into music and bought him his first guitar

"That's awesome! Does your dad play?"

"Well I uh, don't know my dad so I couldn't tell you." John chuckled nervously.

"Oh I'm sorry."

"Nah it's no big deal, he's a piece of shit anyway. My mom's the great one, I wish I saw her more often."

"Why don't you? If you don't mind me asking."

"She's actually not that far. It's just that she's with this guy and my Aunt Mimi wouldn't let me live with them cause it was too cramped or whatever, so here I am. We still talk often though"

"that's good" Paul said wistfully.

"Oh sorry, we can change the subject"

Paul nodded.

The rest of the night went on and Paul left a couple of hours later to go home.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

For the next few weeks John and Paul hung out at each other's houses almost every day after school just to play guitar and do homework and stuff. John noticed a change in Paul's disposition, he was still really hurt over his mom and that wasn't going to go away, but he seemed even close to happy for the first time since he lost her. Apparently Jim McCartney noticed it too because one night he pulled John aside before the two boys went up to practice and thanked him for being there for Paul. Of course John wasn't doing it for thanks, he really like hanging out with Paul, but he was glad it was doing something good.

One night at John's house Paul quietly brought up that he had been working on writing some original music.

"I um, wrote some lyrics this past week. I don't know if you want to hear them. Maybe you can help me come up with the riff for transition from verse to chorus."

"Yeah of course, let me here 'em"

"Well, I woke up late this morning my head was in a whirl only then I realized I lost my little girl oh, oh, oh, oh. Well, her clothes were not expensive her hair didn't always curl I don't know why I love her but I love my little girl oh, oh, oh, oh."

"And then I think the chorus is going to be: Well, gather 'round people let me tell you the story the very first song I wrote. But I don't know if that sounds stupid or where to go from there and I need help with that transition."

"Wow- the uh, the lyrics are beautiful, Paul."

"Thanks. Any advice for those parts?"

"C to Am?"

"let's give that a shot."

John and Paul were constantly with each other at school, always hanging out at home too and never far from a guitar. They quickly grew to be very good friends and Paul hung out with John's other friends in the group.

The school year was winding down. John and Paul lived pretty close to each other so they planned on basically spending the whole summer playing music together with the rest of the guys. On the last day of school they said goodbye but of course they weren't apart for long. For the entire month of June Paul was either with John and his other friends or with George.

*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-

The middle of July rolled around and suddenly Paul didn't really hear from John and he couldn't figure out what was up. They didn't have a fight and it seemed that none of the other guys had talked to him either.

After a few days of not wanting to smother John during whatever was going on Paul had to check on him so he went to his house to at least see if Mimi could tell him anything.

"Hey is John around?"

Mimi stood in the doorway with tears in her eyes, it looked like she had been crying for days

"Is everything ok?"

"Let me see if he'll come talk to you."

"John? Paul's downstairs. You should really talk to him if you're ready, he's worried."

"I'm coming. I'm going to tell him."

John walks down the stairs into the living room where Paul is waiting near the doorway.

"Hey John. Are you ok?"

"Let's take a walk, I need to talk to you."

"Is everything alright?"

They walked for a moment and John readied himself to say what he was about to say. Paul was the first person he told and he was trying to prepare himself even though no amount of waiting would make this any easier.

"My uh, my mom was killed a couple of days ago, died in a car crash." John said, barely above a whisper.

Paul froze. He didn't have specific proof that they were in this part of their friendship yet but he had to go with his gut. He leaned in and gave John a hug and they just stood there for a moment.

When they pulled away Paul took a look at John while he wiped his eyes. He had never seen him like this before. John was strong and nothing ever really got to him but he had never looked so broken. Paul remembered that feeling unfortunately and while his mom passed away under different circumstances he still knew all too well the pain of losing someone so important so young.

John was never one for showing his emotions, even to his best friend. Though if he had to cry in front of someone it wouldn't have been anyone else.

Paul tried his hardest to keep John out of the really dark place he found himself in last year before they met. The trauma that comes from losing a parent so young will never be erased and there was nothing anyone could do to make that better but Paul's priority was keeping his best friend from being consumed by this. He knew what it was like to lose yourself and he wasn't going to let that happen to John.

Eventually John told the rest of his friends what had happened, with Paul by his side for moral support, but he didn't really hang out much the rest of the summer. The only person he ever really saw was Paul because he wouldn't leave him alone for too long. John wasn't the best with words so he didn't know how to say it, but he didn't know what he would've done without Paul that summer.

"Are you ready?" Paul asked as he turned to John before looking at the big doors to Quarry Bank High School.

"As ready as I'll ever be."

The two made their way into school with a new closeness between them, an understanding of what it's like to experience living hell and survive it.

That shared experience was part of what brought John to immediately include Paul in the lineup for The Quarrymen, a group initially consisting of John, Pete, Eric, Colin, Rod, and Len. The group evolved a year later when, at Paul's request, George was added.

This gave John and Paul something to distract themselves with and direct their attention to instead of how much they missed their moms. The Quarrymen performed at dances, school events, etc. When they moved in the direction of rock and roll, only John, Paul, and George remained.

If it wasn't for John and Paul meeting and helping each other through the hard times it would've been so much harder to get to the good ones.

[jadelotusflower]

Robin Hood Rewatch: 1x13 A Clue: No

“Previously on” recaps can be annoying, but there is an art to it and I love a good one. This is a very, very good one, summarising the last episode with ramping tension as the music builds, then cuts to a different take of the last scene as the theme song starts, and we’re into the opening credits.

This is a long one, so it’s going under the cut:

Guy estimates that the “inner circle” of Robin’s gang is “a dozen at the most” and I find it very funny that neither he nor Vaisey have twigged that it’s always the same five people around him. What’s more annoying than funny is that they don’t know how many are in the “outer circle” because that really should have been A Thing in the show (Forrest and Hanton should have come back to guest star! I will never let this go!) After all, we see Little John with more men in the first episode, there are other outlaws in the forest/across the shire that are either working with Robin, or pose a risk to them, and I wish this had been explored.

Djaq manhandling and holding her sword to Pitts’s throat - I love Djaq.

The first arrow Robin shoots is intended for Vaisey, but one of the guards inconveniently walks in front and gets it in the chest. The second arrow is intended for Vaisey as well but he ducks (”my tooth!”) so we can’t fault the writing for a credible attempt at Why Doesn’t Robin Just Kill The Sheriff, because in this scene at least, he tries.

Bye Pitts. You certainly were.

I actually really love this scene (which probably seemed odd given the high body count), but Robin drawing his sword and charging, with Much, Djaq, and John backing him up to avenge Marian’s apparent death/make a final stand, as the music shifts from the jaunty Rescue Theme to Marian’s Theme, just gets me every time.

Although thanks to the cast commentary, I can’t unsee Djaq flipping that guy over her head twice, but hey, it’s a badass move. Clearly they didn’t shoot enough coverage of this fight, because we get the same action from several different angles.

Other than the flashback in episode 8, I think this is the only time we see Robin in Crusader mode, and just how lethal he (and the gang) can be when unleashed and with nothing to lose. Even when the enemy retreats Robin remains kind of wild-eyed with rage unsated, and it takes a beat for him to snap out of it. It’s symbolism time - he sticks his sword in the ground and leaves it there, and we don’t see it again this episode (or much in season 2).

There’s some nice acting going on from everyone in this scene - just utter exhaustion, Allan and Will oblivious to why the rest are so distraught, Much taking it upon himself to tell them but can’t say the words, and Robin with the finality of “she’s dead.” Their faces!

Djaq is still holding two swords as she enters the cave, which is a nice character beat - no doubt the fight also brought back unpleasant memories/triggers for her, and she remains on edge, for the moment unwilling to give up her defences even when the threat is gone.

I really love this scene too (the gang mourning Marian) and I think it’s quite deftly written - Djaq’s immediate reaction being the importance of a quick burial (as per Islamic tradition), Robin trying to keep it together, attempting to ask John/Will to build a coffin but unable to, so deflecting to ask Djaq to prepare Marian’s body, before trying twice again; John soothing him and taking charge. Will’s single tear and speaking of Marian’s goodness. Much responding with “Good? Oh, she was... She was...” looking to Robin because of course his thoughts are for Robin’s grief before his own, and also that his own relationship with Marian was complex. Allan: “She was alright...yeah” that says so much, and of course John’s “Her, we liked.” Again, some fine acting, kudos everyone.

“I loved her and I never told her” is ironic because Robin still won’t tell her until halfway through the next season, and if he had in the aftermath of her apparent death he could have spared himself a lot of the angst of the rest of the episode. But of course he doesn’t tell her, doesn’t learn from this moment, because emotions are hard, and sometimes we make the same mistakes over and over again.

I really love that it’s Allan that notices that Marian is alive, and his little “told ya” flourish.

Score note: while Marian is “dead” her Theme is strings, when she opens her eyes, it’s back to the guitar.

Guy’s guilt in finding out his impending marriage to Marian is based on false pretenses - would he still have forced the marriage if he’d known that from the start?

Djaq still has her two swords as they take Marian back to Knighton.

Guy, if your first instinct when told Marian is not at home is that she’s run away rather than marry you...maybe take a hint? “She cannot run from me” is a big yikes, and this confuses me as to Guy’s motivation in this scene. Did he intend to tell Marian the truth, but then convince himself otherwise (because “the excitement of the wedding” =/= “the wedding excites her”), but then why so angry when he thinks shes run? The difference between getting someone go/being left, I suppose.

Illness is a perfectly plausible explanation for delaying the wedding that no one seems to think of.

Edward is actually pretty bang on in this scene with Robin from a father’s perspective, telling him to let Marian go if he cannot stop it, and do the right thing. On the other hand...

“I am sick of doing the right thing” is why Robin is such a compelling character for me - because it is hard to always be good, to be held to that higher standard, and make the unselfish choice. I enjoy narratives that explore that, and this show is surprisingly unflinching about it, exemplified by:

The next scene, which is one of the most emotionally brutal/hard to watch of the entire show, in which Robin lashes out and does everything to drive Much away, including calling him “a pox”  and a “small man” until Much’s heart visibly breaks.

Now I don’t want to excuse Robin here, because he is objectively awful to someone who doesn’t deserve it, who is trying to give him support but also telling him some much needed hard truths (even if it is slightly self-serving, which is what what seems to set Robin off). But at the end of the day, if he loves Marian he needs to accept that it is her choice to marry Guy, to “do the right thing” to (she thinks) protect her father - and later of he does just that. For now Edward and Much are both right, it is more important for him to try and protect the king from Vaisey, because if he is ousted and Richard back on the throne so many lives would be improved, including the people of Locksley. But Robin has been pushed to breaking point all season, and has now snapped and can’t see reason, but is stuck in his own grief/rage.

But unlike previously, when Robin said regrettable things in the heat of the moment and then immediately took them back, this is a calculated attack designed to hurt Much the most, because he loves Robin so much that it takes A Lot to push him away. It’s a bold move to make your hero so unlikable in such a moment, because Robin really is unforgivably cruel here, and trust the audience to understand why. I mean, I don’t want to bang on about the PTSD, but it’s (partly) the PTSD, based on a triggering, precipitating event causing a self-destructive spiral. Robin needs some Ye Olde Therapy.  

For all the talk about Robin getting his title and lands back, nothing is said about what happens to Gisborne once he does, other than that they can’t prove he was the one who tried to assassinate Richard. Because really, Richard probably would believe Robin even though the tattoo was burned away, and Guy’s certainly committed other crimes that could be testified to just like they’re intending for Vaisey - and let’s be real, it’s not like a king needs evidence to order someone’s death (hello, season 2 finale). Boom - Guy executed, marriage to Marian annulled, problem solved!

So, the scene between Marian and Guy, in which Marian is more concerned with whether or not Guy tried to kill the king than the fact that he stabbed her. But its understandable, because Marian thinks there’s no way out that doesn’t risk her father’s life, and it’s easier to convince herself that maybe Guy didn’t do it to make the best of things. I think she does have some kind of feelings for him, or is at least moved by his feelings for her, and believes if nothing else she can influence him/continue working from the inside; giving up the mantle of the Nightwatchman but doing the same work (in a different way) as Lady Gisborne.

And then it’s Robin/Marian angst, round 3, and it’s a far cry from their interaction in the cave milliseconds away from “I love yous” - in both tone and body language they’re back in defensive positions talking past one another. The tension, it be thick.

Marian is making her best rationalisation with “deprived of love” and Robin not at all buying the Woobification 101. Once she tells him her decision to marry Guy, he accepts it, but it’s Marian’s reaction that’s telling, she’s surprised that he doesn’t argue, deep down she wants him to fight for her, to say that the real reason she shouldn’t marry Guy is because he loves her. It’s quite a contrast from the previous scene where Guy was very open about how he feels about her, while Robin deflects, but while she was conflicted about Guy trying to kiss her, she’s frustrated, disappointed, and angry when Robin leaves.

But really, this is rather unfair of Marian, because Robin did already declare himself in the cave (”we should be together”) without her reciprocation, so expecting him to take the first step again without any encouragement is a bit much.

Would a depressed person sit slumped against a tree all night?

“But by taking Marian in holy wedlock, I will wash away those crimes. Her pure heart will cleanse mine.” Yeah...not going to touch that one. I appreciate that there’s a lot going on with Guy and many, many people find it compelling, but I’m afraid it’s not really a narrative that interests me.

Speaking of pure hearts: Much. Faced with the same choice he was counseling Robin on, but with the additional wrinkle of knowing the king’s an imposter, he still decides to stop the wedding. “Her heart belongs to another” is A Moment and I don’t know exactly why but I find his very soft pleas following this and calling her “my lady” very affecting. 

She’s beauty and she’s grace, she punched Guy in the face.

“A trap. I knew it.” I haaaaate this line. NO YOU DIDN’T KNOW IT ROBIN YOU KNEW NOTHING OF THE KIND IF YOU HAD KNOWN YOU WOULD BE EVEN MORE OF A DICK FOR LEAVING UGGGHHHH.

“We can’t be seen together” Right in front of my salad two guards on front gate duty, who get front row tickets to the kiss. Look at them! They’re right there! This show drives me absolutely bonkers sometimes.

I do love this dress though.

“An audience with the king has been suspended!” Going out on one last pun.

Regardless, I really love this episode. Despite the lack of fallout from the emotional wringer they all went through, I can’t help but smile when the gang does their silly little jump for joy at the end.