#of bigot / fucked up emotional regulation or something?

[just-aro]

suicide bait mention

/gen what inspires people to send suicide bait? like... i can't at all imagine a circumstance in which sending it would feel good or cathartic, personally?

i know i've gotten a fair amount of suicide bait asks over the years on tumblr, especially on @aro-culture-is and here, but tbh like. bro i am just gonna report and block. enjoy getting your account blocked? ig?

idk i just don't understand the purpose. it hurt a little before therapy, but now i'm just like "huh, sounds like a you problem." do they like... actually think it's gonna make a difference?

[myfandomrealitea]

ok I’ll be honest, I was one of the people who approached your safe space post with the mindset “yeah, but…” like, I now whole-heartedly agree that there should absolutely be fandom spaces devoid of real world issues. We all need our spaces to rest and relax. I think I just felt weird about your post because previously ive been in fandom spaces which did operate on the (perfectly fine) rule of ‘no politics’…but ‘politics’ would also include talking about a gay ship or any queer headcannons.

That obviously wasn’t fair to you because you obviously didn’t mean that w/ your post, but I can personally see as to why some people would feel that way if they were in similar fandom spaces. I do still want to reiterate I do agree with your post and I think some of the rebloggers took it…a bit far? Like Jesus Christ some of y’all need to eat a snickers. I also think some of the wording like “bitching about world issues” and “whining about their shitty parents” might’ve thrown me off but that’s not your fault and really a non-issue 🤷🏽‍♀️

you can delete this ask if you want I really won’t mind, I think I can just see as to why there were so many ‘yeah, but…’ rebloggers.

I actually really appreciate asks like this. For a multitude of reasons, but also because it gives really good insight and outer perspective for both me and other people who are aware of or involved in the discussion.

I think what a lot of people don't yet grasp about me is that while I may hold an opposing view to yours (general, not directed), in the vast majority of cases I still very much understand why people would think the way they do and where that thought process comes from and goes.

Its very, very easy to fall into the mindset of thinking that not helping when you have the ability to makes you a bad person or however in/directly causes suffering. Its very easy to be in the mindset of one single individual making a magnitude of difference.

I fully and genuinely understand and comprehend a lot of the points being brought up.

I just don't agree with them and hold a different outlook on those issues.

For example:

Talking about enjoying a queer ship to me is not 'political' in the sense that, personally, if you're a homophobe and upset by generic conversations about queer people, I really could not give a fuck. And if you raise objections to me talking about two dudes kissing, I'm simply going to remove you from my space because clearly it is not beneficial for either of us to share it. And I made it.

Its obviously very very much down to personal discretion to decide where that line is and what that bracket encompasses, but I think the most universal aspect of that safe space post was trying to get people to understand that forcing others to suffer in solidarity isn't activism and that strangers are not obligated to allow you to use them as support and a dumping ground for your needs.

Spreading around videos of people's dead loved ones isn't activism.

Spamming taglines and buzzwords on completely unrelated posts and videos isn't activism.

Relying on complete strangers for emotional and mental support and regulation while dumping vulnerable, graphic, personal information on them is neither safe nor healthy.

People are not obligated to smother or confine their happiness because of your misery. If you're having a bad day you have no right to tell other people they can't be happy in front of you.

A lot of people, mostly white knighters and people of color took the post as "a white privileged pig saying its okay to let racism slide because you want to play your video games" (actual hate mail I received) and that's so laughably and wildly far from the actual basis of the post.

I've had bigots in my servers before. Homophobes or racists who've slipped through the cracks.

You know what happens when they say something homophobic or racist?

They're immediately removed, blocked and reported, and their information is placed in a private document I keep. I issue an apology to the members of the server for their actions, and life goes on.

People are, of course, entitled to take the post as they see fit. They're entitled to their own perspectives and opinions. I'm more than happy to simply focus on the people who have taken support, guidance and solace in the post.

[ayyyyysexual]

absolutely wild how blatantly transphobic the guy calling him 'cringe' is, its so fucking disheartening to see other trans people side with Literal Transphobes because they agree that trans men suck.

He repeatedly refers to him as a 'person' rather than a man, and uses they/them in every instance, very clearly degendering him - and THEN comparing him to a literal child unable to regulate emotions (not to mention referring to kids as 'it'?? what a red flag in and of itself), infantilising a grown man who was literally engaging in a debate and using a bigots own tactics to shut up him.

''but it's bad for both of them'' is just so... this is very clearly a one off debate, and we know literally NOTHING about this man outside of it, except that fact that he has a wife, and that he's been a victim of SA, something I haven't actually seen anyone mention whilst making fun of him. because that would undermine their point that he's just some cringe tryhard who wants to feel big and strong by beating shapiro. he is literally arguing for his rights as someone who is directly affected by abortion bans, someone who has been assaulted before, and if assaulted again (as literally one of the most at risk demographics for SA) could be forced to carry a child against his will. and he directly advocates for women whilst doing it!

Yes, he uses his masculinity to 'trick' shapiro into seeing him as an equal. ...and? debates with people like shapiro are about power plays. he understands this and uses every tactic at his disposal to throw shapiro off his groove, and directly uses things shapiro says and believes to show how flawed his logic is. that's an incredibly obvious and effective strategy! you can't 'be the bigger person' your way out of systemic oppression

Saw this video on Reddit today of a trans man debating Ben Shapiro re: abortion and trans rights (very based and poggers and managed to shut Benny Boy up which is impressive) (actually I have some quibbles with the trans guy's argument as well but that's neither here nor there)

So I take a looksie at the comments, right? And for SOME FUCKING REASON, there are MULTIPLE people in the comments going "Wow, he totally owned him, but he also missed the opportunity to bring up bathroom bills and ask Ben if he really wanted a manly-looking masculine man like him in the women's room with little girls!"

YOU. PEOPLE. NEED. TO. STOP. If I hear this "gotcha" one more time I am going to retreat into the ocean and become a cuttlefish ffs.

[mass-convergence]

Been thinking about that pathologizing vs humanizing post a bit more… now this is my take from someone who’s def not neurotypical (I shouldn’t need to tell you my diagnosis but I’m ADHD) and is honestly a jerk a lot of the time due to just being overwhelmed with life. Also this is a singular take from one of like 8 billion people in the world who’s only political power is a vote in a red state and maybe holding a sign at a protest. If you don’t agree with it - please move on.

Not allowing this to be reblogged because I don’t want people in my notes telling me to kill myself or deactivate because reading comprehension on this fucking site is ass.

Okay so…

Mental illness should not be an excuse for being a dick. Your symptoms, they’re real - I’m not diminishing that. Going to have to center myself on this one because reasons: I’m not diminishing that sometimes I get so emotionally overwhelmed that it feels like my chest is ripping in two. I’m not diminishing that someone telling me to do something makes me feel attacked and not want to do it. Not diminishing that when I’m overwhelmed or overstimulated - I shut down and turn into a sullen, quiet asshole who doesn’t talk to people and just sits there and quietly stews in the corner glaring at everyone while my emotions go into a nuclear meltdown.

Those are all very real symptoms and all very much attached to my mental health diagnoses (emotional regulation and sensory processing is fucking hard with ADHD).

That being said.

I can either blame everything in my life on ADHD and say that every time I fuck up a friendship or any attempt at a relationship: well it’s my ADHD. I can’t help it. They have the problem, they’re the ones being unreasonable by not accommodating and understanding me. And I think that that’s not even like an abnormal thing for that kind of defensive reaction - I think everyone has issues with self reflection and hates that shitty feeling of being wrong.

Or I can recognize that these are the symptoms of ADHD and say “shit - I need to work on this because it’s also actively making my life and mood worse”. Obviously I can’t therapy or live, laugh, love my way out my my ADHD symptoms. I will still have rejection sensitivity, I will still have times where my emotions overwhelm me, I will still get overstimulated. But I also know that to function in daily life - I need to be better at coping with that shit.

I’ve been on the receiving end of having my feelings absolutely wrecked by someone who blamed everything on their mental illness/diagnosis. And yes I was sympathetic, even empathetic, to what was going on. I understood.

But at the end of the day - that doesn’t change the fact that they still hurt me. They still said some truly fucking hurtful shit and I understand it was due to their pain but that doesn’t change the fact that they should have never said what they said to me. I will not give anyone a fucking pass on that. And if they blame it on their diagnosis I will absolutely call them out on it. Okay you have RSD and you lashed out in a panic. The end result is the same - please actually apologize.

Yeah there will be times when people, no matter what, say that everyone’s using mental health as an excuse. And “obviously mental health is bullshit because everyone has a diagnosis these days”. “We don’t need mental health days! They need to just get over it!” … And those people are ableist assholes.

But you also just need to recognize that you can’t lash out at or hurt people or say bigoted fucking shit and then immediately say that you can’t help it because it’s because of your mental health. Kudos on the self reflection but that does not absolve you of anything if you’re not doing anything to cope or mitigate the impacts. (Especially if you’re being bigoted and using your political power to push agendas that actively hurt marginalized groups…..)

And if anything it gives ammo to the ableist asshats who say people use mental illness as an excuse. And it also increases the stigma around these illnesses.

[lunasalix]

I really want to quit my job. This happens a few times per year for me, usually when I have an event coming up that I’m not particularly excited about (basically any event that’s not science or GSA related). 

This time, it’s a plethora of different issues coming together that have left me completely drained. 

I did that autism thing where communication is scary and difficult, so I decide to wait until I feel ready, but that doesn’t happen quickly enough and then it’s so late that the rejection-sensitive dysphoria kicks in and I freeze up thinking people will be mad at me for being so late in responding, so I wait until the very last possible second, then it really is too late. Self-fulfilling prophecy. So part of this is 100% my fault. I need to be open with my bosses about this issue and see if we can find a solution. 

Then, with finals week quickly approaching, I have fallen so far behind on so many other things because I’ve been so busy with meetings and trainings during all of my planning periods that my grading, attendance calls, failure calls, actually writing the exams, and other paperwork crap has gone to the wayside. I have been refusing to work outside of contract hours except the week leading up to an event (of which I’ve planned and hosted 4 this semester with the 5th this Friday). I’m tired and stressed and this mountain of work looming over me is not helping. 

In addition, the event that I had carefully planned for GSA in early January - a visit from 3 local drag artists - was canceled because of the stupid, bigoted politics in my state. If we still had the old principal, I’d go right over his head and sneak to make the event happen anyway. However, the new principal is in a delicate position as interim and as a black man in a position of power, plus he’s a great leader, so I don’t want to jeopardize him in any way. I’m just mad that drag queens existing in public is being equated to telling Latinx student to go back to their countries. Like, one is artistic expression and the other is just being an asshole. 

I’m also mad that our old principal is apparently spying on the new one by communicating with people who still work in the building and he keeps calling the new principal trying to convince the latter to do things the way the former would have. Our school is improving on every metric and you really have the gall to think that your crusty ass has better ideas than the new guy? Fuck all the way off. 

But I’m also conflicted about some of the new principal’s decisions. He wants to fix the fact that we have multiple fights per week in the building, so his solution is to arrest every student who fights. I feel like that’s damaging to throw black kids from the projects straight through the school-to-prison pipeline for something that is clearly an issue of emotional regulation and self-preservation, but who am I to tell a black man what is best for black children? 

I also feel like I’ve taken on way too much. I’m team lead - which involves meeting with admin to create agendas for the meetings on my side of the building, planning events for quarterly student celebrations on my side of the building, and developing initiatives for improvement, all of which are used as a model for the rest of the building because my side is the highest performing. I’m also a sponsor for GSA, which used to meet once per week during study hall, but now that study hall is gone, they meet during lunch. We got new help this year from an outside organization that I thought would take some of the load off, but it’s created a ton of infighting with the students and the “help” constantly wants to have events while doing very little of the planning or funding for those events, and they need constant support to control the kids because none of the kids like them. Then I’m the sole faculty sponsor for Student Government, which means I have to plan, fund, and host every major event in the building - homecoming, cominghome, all pep rallies, prom, spirit weeks, seasonal celebrations, etc. Every time I have sought outside help in this role, the people I who offer to help end up not doing anything, but they don’t tell me until the last minute so I end up having to clean up their messes days before the event. This has happened 3 times with 3 different people. When I ask admin for support, they always agree that I shouldn’t do it on my own, but offer not help in actually getting someone else to take on some of these tasks. I don’t even like any of the events Student Government runs. I didn’t attend them when I was in high school, and I still wouldn’t if I wasn’t the one having to put it all together. I got tricked into the position by a senior staff member telling little baby teacher me that it only involved signing off on things and that the students do all the work. In addition, I’m the sole union representative in the building, so every time the union has a campaign, I have to organize my coworkers single-handedly, which can only be done outside of normal work hours. This is yet another position I was volun-told for. Then I somehow ended up on all these district-wide committees that involve multiple meetings throughout the year. 

I just want to teach my classes. I have 4 different courses which are meant to be highly hands-on, with lots of community involvement, field trips, labs, guest speakers, job shadows, and more. Until this year, my career pathway was the best run in the school. Now that an actually good teacher moved into one of the other pathways, I’m seeing what mine could be if I didn’t have so much else on my plate and could actually focus on my classes. My kids are complaining that they don’t get as many opportunities as the other pathway now. It makes me so sad and I feel like I’m failing them. 

In addition, my sophomores this year are giving me a run for my money. When I first started, 5 years ago, I had the most difficult group of sophomores I have ever taught. 60% had disabilities, 50% had major behavioral issues, and they had not had an English teacher in 3 years because they kept making their English teachers quit - so reading comprehension was dismal. BUT! They learned. They became my favorite group that I have ever taught by the 3rd year in my pathway. This year’s group have been on the scientific method for 2.5 months. Yesterday’s opening question was, “Which step of the scientific method do you think is most important, and why?” which I told them was purely opinion-based. After 5 long minutes of silence, the most academically talented student in the class raised her hand slowly and asked, “Ms. X, what is the scientific method?” It was all I could do not to cry. In 5 years of teaching this, I have never had a group take more than 2 weeks to catch on. The assistant principal witnessed the entire thing and said that there is nothing more I can do to help them understand it - the learning is on them and they are choosing not to partake. That broke me. I have never had trouble motivating students. I have never had a group just refuse the most fun labs of the year until this one. 

I feel like a failure. I know it’s not true, but it feels that way. In addition, I feel like everyone in the building kind of hates me right now. I lost the teacher of the year vote, and I have yet to be awarded teacher of the month as well (which is decided by the previous teacher). I’ve had several teacher express disappointment that I haven’t been doing more in some of my roles this year. I feel disconnected, unwanted, and unsupported. 

I feel like the only way out of all of the extra roles I’ve accumulated is to quit, but I worked so hard to build my program that it feels wasteful to just leave it all behind. I had to build my curriculum for 4 courses from scratch. The entire district uses the curriculum I built. I also don’t know what else I would do. Finding a decent paying job in science is impossible without some type of medical degree. I just want to be outside sharing nature with people of all backgrounds and ages. Why is that so hard? 

[sevdoesnotexist]

hey sev, could you elaborate on what TERFs mean with the cis/white women to avoid criticism post? I fail to see how it's TERF rhetoric, aside from being posted by a TERF. or is it just harmful because it might lead to people following them?

It's because 1. TERFs should NEVER be platformed and

2. When they say misogyny, ask yourself how they define that? How do they define "men"? Who do they define out of womanhood? The truth is this post is one big old dog whistle! Easy for TERFS to hear (read) but seemingly innocent to the untrained ear (eye)

The "leftist men" being referenced here are very likely actually transfemmes or anyone who calls out their transphobia! In addition, this post is fucking racist!

Dismissing someone criticizing you for being racist because they're "a man" or "leftist" is SUPER fucking suspicious.

When we approach feminism as intersectional, and we talk about cis white women, we don't do it to "avoid criticism" we do it because there are flavours of feminism, like Trans Exclusionary Radical Feminism, that are by and large harmful because they are dominated by white cisgender voices (these spaces also tend to be anti black AF) who view their own experiences as the peak of gender based oppression because they were born with a pussy and white privledge.

This post, I think, is also a great example of how the concept of "white tears" can be applied, by white tears I mean the tendancy of specifically cis white women to cry/get upset when faced with the fact that being a woman doesn't mean they can't be transphobic, homophobic, racist or otherwise bigoted.

The tactic is designed to deflect the discomfort that arises from being called out by centering oneself as in immediate need of support in emotionally regulating, thus grinding the ACTUAL criticisms to a halt in favour of cater to her emotions.

It's something sooooooo many women I know still do, and something I personally had to break myself out of doing as it was something I picked up when I was younger without realizing.

[mordigen]

Unpopular opinion: Christians are not witches

I said it. Fight me.

There has been a trend that has been growing ever more problematic recently: overbearing, hyper-zealous, hyper-vigilant "acceptance" This means the pagan community is an absolute free-for all, and you are not allowed to so much as even feign the possibility that you do not agree with absolutely 100% of everything, lest you be named a gatekeeping, ignorant bigot.

Whether you like it or not - there ARE paths out there that have specific rules...regulations...stipulations...tenets - whatever the hell you want to call or classify them. End. Period. There's no other colour that comes in - that's it. Sorry for you, but they DO exist. In fact, there are many of them.

If you do not follow those rules, tenets, etc..., then you are not of that path. Point. Blank. And there is nothing wrong with that - it simply means that you are of some other path. That's it! That's all that means! It may be *nearly* identical to the path in question - but it is not, hence the 'nearly'.

If you happen to be a part of one of these paths, there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying so. If someone claims to be a part of one of these paths, but are absolutely, blatantly not - there is nothing wrong with saying that, and explaining why that is. Some people just honestly don't know there is a difference, or that these certain prerequisites are indeed a definitive factor - so they learn something, they broaden their horizons. Everyone seems to be all about educating themselves about being sensitive to other cultures and customs - except the pagan community, apparently, because this mentality does not translate across that pagan/witch line. Instead of taking it as a learning experience, you are immediately pounced on with notions of 'there are no rules!' 'you can't tell someone what to do on their own path!' Or, simply, the name calling. Well yes, while all of that is true - it still remains that how ever you want to practice or whatever you personally decide to do, may just simply not be what you are claiming, or calling it. It may just be semantics - but semantics matter when dealing with nuance. And paganism is extremely nuanced.

You can call a tomato an orange all you want to - but that thing will never be an orange, no matter how much you believe in it. And people are not wrong for informing you that you may have the wrong name, that is in fact, a tomato. If you go on deciding to call it an orange, you can do that - but that is willful ignorance. So, in your fight to be unapologetically accepting of every ridiculous notion, you are perpetuating willful ignorance - whilst being directly in opposition of your goal and being, *GASP*, unaccepting to those who follow a path where distinction and definition matters. You are completely invalidating those people's paths and beliefs while trying to defend another's (another who may, in fact, actually be wrong) and actively using their path & beliefs as the very reason to berate and ostracize them. Pretty fantastically hypocritical of you. Now...on to the second problem. I do not, at all, in any form, believe in "ritual magick" - as perpetuated by Aleister Crowley hardons. And no, that is not a knock on Crowley, just the idiot followers that don't understand half of what he taught and latch onto the superficial.

When you look at the origins and make up of magical beliefs, and magic itself as a separate entity - no matter which particular branch - they were all created by religion. They all have roots in highly spiritual cultures and customs. So, I absolutely do not believe for one second that you can believe in magic without SOME form of religion - whatever one you adhere to is your choice, but you cannot have the first without the latter. You cannot. Even if you claim that you have no religion, or spiritual faith, your practices absolutely do. You are calling on elements and agencies that absolutely have divine ties and connections one way or another. Oh, how many atheists I see calling on the seals of Arch Angels.... are you fucking shittin me? Really?? So let's bring it all together now - with the fact that many faiths DO have prerequisites, AND the fact that magic is religious/spiritual -- Christians are not, and cannot be witches or pagans. They are mutually exclusive. Not only because so many various paths have such prerequisites, and very define religious/spiritual beliefs that are contradictory to others - but simply because Christianity DOES, very much, have very clear and stringently defined Do's & Don'ts, and obviously the religious aspect itself clashes with the religious beliefs of others. Their religious beliefs clash with people who believe in their same god - so how could they not with those who believe in other gods?? Considering this, no other path would even need such stipulations themselves for them to be mutually exclusive, as Christianity already covers that issue so completely, but the fact that so many pagan paths do only exacerbates an already existing problem. That being said - that does not mean you cannot believe in the Christian 'god', by whatever name you know him by - or that you cannot believe in Jesus, and also be a witch or pagan. In fact the latter has an even bigger argument for believing in both, as paganism, generically, in itself is polytheistic, so it is very fitting to simply have the Christian god and Jesus amongst the many deities being worshipped. But those two things alone is not what makes Christianity. A good start, yes, but that is not all it takes - in fact, there are many that are shunned, excommunicated, banned, condemned and moreso whilst having those very two qualifying factors. You can find this in *every single* sect of Christianity, so...the proof is in the pudding, as they say, that it is much more than simply believing in 'God' and Jesus that makes a 'Christian'. And if you take that to heart and follow all those rules - you cannot be a witch or pagan, many times over, as you would be in direct opposition, or violation, of a number of their teachings - both on the aspect of simple 'rules', but also on a much deeper spiritual level of the entire foundation of their faith. Cannot serve two masters, and all that... If you do not follow those rules, then sure, you could be a witch or a pagan - but then you cannot be a Christian. That is just the facts.

Many people like to argue the use of magic and mysticism in the bible - but the issue is what parts of the bible they are found, and all the amendments of the further books. Again, what really carves out being a Christian vs. any of the other sects of Abrahamic beliefs. As, news flash - there is far more than just Christianity. And some of them, do, in fact, do hand in hand with magic. The Kabbalah is an astounding example of that - and, in fact, where a lot of the so called *ahem* 'non'-religious 'ritual magick' comes from. In this same vein, I would like to note that I have never had any issue or seen conflict with the Hebrew or Jewish take on shamans, mystics and witches, as they really do go hand in hand - They have their own very in depth, detailed, spiritual and sentimental form of mysticism that was a natural progression from pre-Abrahamic religions and culture, and grew into their teachings and belief system, so it does not go against their core beliefs the same way it very stringently does in Christian theology. Considering their ethnical histories and cultural heritage - this is a brilliant example of the natural evolution and progression of faiths - not simply ripped from the hands of the brutally oppressed and rewritten as a mockery to wipe out the preexisting notion of faiths -- as the Church has a history of doing. The Book of Enoch is another shining example of Biblical magic, or Angelic magic. But, this also also turns my point into a self fulfilling prophecy, as in the fact that it is accepted amongst all denominations as heresy, and it is taught that these magics - though they do, in fact, exist, were for the angels and completely forbidden from mankind. So, thusly, if you are a follower of Enoch, you are not a 'Christian', by name and membership, as you are outright going against it's teachings. You are a heretic, a blasphemer. Perhaps you may be one of the many other forms of the Christian god's followers - but not a Christian, as being Christian denotes a very specific set of beliefs and tenets - end of story. Magic, and paganism, is in direct conflict with those teachings, and therefore, cannot coexist.

On top of the logic - there is also the emotional issue. Christianity has a long history of abuse towards various pagan, tribal and indigenous faiths, while stealing our beliefs as their own, and demonizing those they couldn't successfully acclimate into theirs. To now be expected to be OK with this faith, yet again, latching on to *our* sacred rites and practices as being a part of their own is a hard pill to swallow at best, a slap in the face to most, and flat out perpetuating trauma at worst. Once upon a time, people sought out these very same communities and groups within their pagan circles as an escape, a safe space, and a shield and guardian against the Christian onslaught, torment, oppression, or just exhaustion - and now, we must not only tolerate them invading our private spaces, but must now welcome them with open arms and expected to be happy about it? Forgive me if I don't sympathize....

If we are going to now be forced into being shoulder to shoulder with them, the very least you can offer us is neutrality. You can be accepting of all and still be neutral grounds - not taking any one side anywhere, all you have to do is be respectful to each other. Disagreement is not disrespectful. Could someone who disagrees with a certain viewpoint *become* disrespectful? Sure, of course they could. But simply the act of disagreement is nothing hateful or hurtful in any way shape or form - in fact, good discourse is how progress is made. So we need to remain neutral grounds and normalize the acceptance of different viewpoints - we need to recognize and accept that, yes, there are paths out there that do have specific requirements, expectations and limits - there are paths that are going to disagree, or just flat out not believe in something. Instead of name calling, when someone of those paths decides to speak up and enlighten and elaborate on information that may be inaccurately described or depicted, you need to LISTEN and learn, and not just bludgeon them with presumptive judgement. You also need to accept that there are many, various different closed practices out there - beyond Native American & Voodoo practices (as those seem to be the only ones the pagan community recognizes) and if someone of those closed faiths tell you - no, you are not xy or z, that is also not being judgmental or hateful or hurtful - that simply is. ....a very important side note here is that acknowledging closed practices is also not a carte blanche for screaming about cultural appropriation. Please shut the fuck up about cultural appropriation. Not being of a specific faith is not equivalent to cultural appropriation - Telling someone "no, you're not xyz" is very different from telling someone "no, you can't practice xyz" (looking at you smudge-Nazis) You can enjoy, practice, learn or celebrate anything you want of any faith you want while not actually being apart of it - that's the beauty of sharing and learning. And I think that is where all the trouble boils down from:

Yes, you can do whatever you want and can create whatever path you want for yourself...just don't misrepresent it, don't call it something it is not, and don't deny those who are more educated & experienced in that particular department. We get enough of that from outsiders to start doing it to each other.

[seascapesandsalt]

I’ve been distracted all day. I’ve written like 200 words, total, and I was supposed to write 4000.

You know, there are some views people can take that make me not want to know them anymore, and being okay with refugees dying because they were denied asylum is one of those views. Being okay with toddlers being gassed is another. I didn’t think any of my friends would be okay with those things, but apparently one is, and now I am in a moral quandary.

I’ve tried my best to reach this liberal, environmentalist, Bernie supporter (of course) who also believes that refugees should “go home and fix their own countries” and that her white ancestors “came here legally.” Up until yesterday I had no idea that she held those views, and now I’m just horrified.

Usually in these situations I just cut the asshole out of my life and don’t think twice about it. I burn bridges super easily, especially when someone expresses bigoted views. If someone is behaving in a morally reprehensible way (for example, commenting that refugees should go home and fix their own countries on a post about children being gassed at the border), I don’t want them to fool themselves into believing that I’m still okay with them. 

This is not someone I want to cut out of my life. This is someone who I genuinely thought would respond to my points and at the very least modify her statements. I told her, “I know you. I know you have more empathy than this.”

Apparently not. Instead, she doubled down. No hint of empathy for anyone, lots of bullshit about how they’re only coming to America for adventure and riches.

Have I mentioned that I burn bridges super easily, especially on principle? It’s a fucking miracle that 24 hours have passed and we’re still technically friends. She doesn’t know what a miracle that is, but everyone else in my life does. All I’ve done on Facebook for the past day is passive-aggressively reblog things about the border to my wall.

I know that if I cut her out, that’s it. Conversation over, no chance of recovering this person’s soul. In the past that hasn’t bothered me, but I’ve grown, and now, at least with this person, the idea of just telling her what I feel (something like "you’re the kind of weak-minded person who denied refugees from Germany in WWII and insured the Holocaust had plenty of victims and I’m too disgusted with you to continue our friendship”) troubles me. I won’t waste my time with random assholes arguing in bad faith, but if I believe someone has good in them, cutting them out because they’re slightly more susceptible to our racist society seems like a bad plan. Besides, if it’s anyone’s duty to change her mind, it’s another white person (you know, like me).

The problem is, it’s a huge conversation with so many hurdles. I mean, she doesn’t even get that talking about white people coming to America legally is a fucking joke. She clearly believes that legality is more important that morality, or at least thinks they’re the same thing. Given some of the nonsense she’s spewing, she’s clearly reading some deeply conservative news or something. I don’t know how to have this long, involved conversation without it being friendship ending. I will lose my shit.

But if I’m going to continue to associate with her, I have to have this conversation. I wouldn’t be able to live with my choice otherwise. Even if I didn’t have this conversation and we never spoke about immigration again, I wouldn’t know how to keep being friends with her after what she’s said. And I don’t mean that in a performative allyship way. I’m not good at regulating emotions, and I’m worse at handling conflict. Even thinking about this a day later makes me shake and want to self-harm.

I’m stuck, and for the first time since he was elected, I truly understand that Trump is winning the national conversation about immigrants. That’s terrifying. Anyway, this is an interesting kind of writer’s block to have. Hope everyone else’s final days of NaNoWriMo is going better.

[mindcoolness]

How to Live a Good Life by Doing Your True Will

New Post has been published on http://www.mindcoolness.com/blog/how-to-live-a-good-life/

How to Live a Good Life by Doing Your True Will

The most common cause of failure in life is ignorance of one’s own True Will, or of the means to fulfill that Will. […] A Man whose conscious will is at odds with his True Will is wasting his strength. (Aleister Crowley)

How can you be successful and live a good life? Well, don’t waste your strength. That’s simple volitional logic. But what is success? Success is subjective, and yet… you can’t define it for yourself. You can’t determine what success means to you, just as you can’t choose what you think makes your life worth living.

What you can do, however, is to get to know yourself, discover your original nature, and do what you truly want. If your thoughts and actions are in line with your True Will, you’re walking on the good path towards the good life. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Let’s start at the beginning:

What is will?

Will is the ability to make decisions and act on them.1 Without will, you can’t do anything, let alone be moral, because you need a will for decision making and action taking. All your decisions, however, are influenced by what you cherish and feel, so your will is partly determined by your values and emotions.

Values are abstract ideas perceived to be good. If you value, say, freedom and loyalty, you’ll want to act differently than if you valued empathy and equality. Thus, your values constitute part of your will. Values are important because they are promises of honor and respect, moral heuristics for living well, and signposts for rising in social status. Without values, you’d live a socially isolated life deprived of the meaning that comes from belonging to a group.

Emotions are conscious experiences judged as positive or negative. If you feel, say, angry and outraged, you’ll want to act differently than if you felt sad and depressed. Thus, your emotions also constitute part of your will. Emotions are important because they are, in a fundamental sense, the stuff that makes live worth living. Without emotions, you’d be deprived of joy and pleasure as well as incapable of making decisions.2

Usually when you want to do something (i.e., have a will), you also have a goal you want to achieve. This makes a third constituent of your will become relevant: Reason allows you to make intelligent plans, question value dogmatism (more about that in a second), and estimate the outcomes of potential actions. Moreover, reason conceptualized as instrumental rationality—the ability to make good decisions and achieve goals effectively—allows you to take rational action: to control yourself, resist temptation, regulate your emotions, and bring up the willpower needed to follow through with your plans.3

What is an untrue will?

A will is untrue if it is unduly determined either by values (dogmatic will) or by emotions (impulsive will).

If you become obsessed about following values and gaining power within a social group, you become bigoted and your actions dogmatic. The path of honor leads to conformist tribalism—a state of close-mindedness where you’ve ceased to think for yourself and began to ideologically subordinate your will to the opinions and shared values of those whose respect you desperately crave. You might say, “I don’t give a fuck what others think of me,” but saying that only communicates your adherence to the value of bold independence, which I’d guess is far from being frowned upon by the people you’re talking to. It all reveals a will to ego reinforcement, which is the first untrue will.

Similarly, if you become obsessed about following feelings and chasing pleasures, you actually chase happiness away because your actions are too impulsive. The path of pleasure leads to short-sighted hedonism—a restless striving for dopamine highs through undisciplined consumption of sweets, fast food, drugs, porn, video games, social media feeds, movies, Netflix shows, YouTube videos, or whatever your unique expression of consumerism might be. Other forms of emotionality such as feeling alive due to anger, hate, outrage, and aggression can be just as eudaimonically myopic. It all reveals a will to instant gratification, which is the second untrue will.

Most people devote their lives to the gray areas, devote their wills to untruth, but what about those who want to maintain a rational frame? Unlike with staying true to group values or embracing fun and enjoyment, no excess—no gray path—exists for reason. While you may engage in overthinking and overanalyzing, these are by definition not (instrumentally) rational things to do, nor are they things you’d ever want to do. Excessive rationality is an oxymoron.

Nonetheless, people can obsess about goals. Goal obsession isn’t bad, though, except if the goal is an ego dream or a hollow indulgance. Goal obsession is perfectly desirable if the goal is part of a purpose that contributes to eudaimonia. In other words, every good goal is embedded in a meaningful mission that contributes to maximizing well-being over a lifetime. In contrast, if goal obsession leads to problems in your life and interferes with other sources of happiness (e.g., relationships), then you’re not coming from a place of reason to begin with because a rational path of action allows for the management of conflicting goals. Now, this is still far from the whole picture, but we’re getting there:

What is the True Will?

The True Will integrates the good aspects of the paths of honor and pleasure:

The True Will is rooted in values that are reliable personal heuristics to improve well-being in the long term and understood as such, for example, wisdom and self-discipline.

The True Will is shaped by emotions that keep the mind cool and proactive. Three such emotions are childlike curiosity, grounded love, and genuine pride.

Personal values and proactive emotions supplement each other. Together, they ensure a healthy balance between honor and pleasure. You aren’t doing your True Will if you’re dishonorable or feeling miserable, but your values must not be dogmatic and your emotions not distractive.

However, your True Will is more than a rational balance between honor and pleasure. The key feature is still missing, namely, your talents. Talents are, broadly speaking, the idiosyncratic nature of your genetic makeup: your natural aptitudes.4 They are your unique potential in life, your vocation. When you do your True Will, you are building on your talents and realizing your innate potential. Some people call it “personal destiny” or “what you’re meant to do” or “what God called you to do” or “what the universe wants through you,” but such phrases invoke fate-based metaphysic that aren’t needed here.

Together, your core values, authentic emotions, and unique talents constitute your true self.5 We can accordingly define your True Will as a will that expresses your true self. In reality, however, nobody is perfectly aware of his true self. Therefore, we can define the True Will further as what you would want to do if you had perfect self-knowledge, that is, if you were perfectly aware of all your values and why you have them, all your emotions and why you feel them, all your goals and why you pursue them, and all your talents and cognitive biases. Since you’ll never have perfect self-knowledge, the True Will is, of course, an idealistic concept. But is not every great idea idealistic? Truth, freedom, enlightenment, just to name a few…

You may wonder why the circle around “Talents” isn’t fully within the area of “True Will.” This is because, in rare cases, your genetic predisposition might not perfectly overlap with what you’re passionate about doing. Now the True Will is not the same as passion, which is only a motivational state, but if you consistently hate doing something you’re naturally good at, it can’t be your True Will.

In most cases, however, your talents are extremely relevant for finding your purpose in life. But your purpose isn’t static; it changes over time, as does your True Will. For example, as a man, you go through different phases in your masculine development. You may focus during one phase on developing social skills and gaining sexual experience, in another on pursuing mastery and building a career, and in yet another on making children and becoming a father. Every phase is associated with a different purpose in life, a different content of Will. Hence, what is true to your Will can be different at different stages in life. You may spend your early 20s chasing women and be doing your True Will. However, if your purpose then shifts towards, say, financial freedom and yet you keep hitting on chicks in clubs several nights a week, you are failing to do your True Will as you devolve into a short-sighted hedonist, chasing pleasure because you couldn’t quit identifying with your ego attached to the skill of picking up women. Similarly, you may be doing your True Will as you devote every waking hour of your life to further your career. However, if your purpose then shifts towards, say, family life and yet you keep working without rest and relent, you are failing to do your True Will as you devolve into an honor-obsessed workaholic, chasing success because you couldn’t quit identifying with your ego attached to your professional role in society. Know, therefore, that your True Will is inherently dynamic.

Know further that although the True Will implicitly aims at eudaimonia, a mind focused on the True Will does not obsess about maximizing well-being over a lifetime. Happiness as a goal is a psychological trap, and you cannot control what you happen to find meaningful in life anyway, nor can you control all the external factors and social contingencies that will affect your well-being over the long term. Reason may focus on a specific goal to exert willpower, but this is only one aspect of the True Will. So, should your mind generally be focused inward, focused on the will, focused on what can be “controlled” in the world?6

Focusing inward is useful when you have to reevaluate your values, regulate your emotions, and remind yourself of your talents. Other than that, however, you want to focus neither too much on the origins of your actions (the green area) nor too much on the intended outcomes (the blue area). Rather, you want to be mindful of the actions you’re taking at the moment, mindful of the actions that flow from your True Will. In other words, you want to focus on walking the good path with open eyes and untiring legs.

What is the good path?

We’ve already discussed the rational good path: using self-control to take rational action to achieve a concrete goal. But the good path that emanates from your True Will is about more than reason and willpower. In fact, the greater part of the good path is quite the opposite of conscious control and effort: it is spontaneous action, effortless doing, or what Taoists call “wu wei” (non-action). This is the spiritual good path, which transcends reason.

You don’t have to think about acting spontaneously, you just do it. Thus, the most elemental spontaneous act of the True Will is breathing. Your breath expresses your True Will because everything else you could ever want to do depends on this basic function of self-preservation will-preservation. So, as long as you’re breathing, you’re not completely off the good path, even if all else goes wrong in your life.

Further essential acts of spontaneity include all the daily habits that keep you on the good path, in particular, taking care of your bodymind through hygiene, healthy diet, physical exercise, and mindfulness practice. They are all parts of your basic True Will and prerequisites for every greater purpose you want to pursue. Those who live unnatural lifestyles in modern environments will initially have to exert a lot of willpower to develop good self-care, eating, exercise, and meditation habits. After a while, however, the discipline to take care of your bodymind will become second nature, something you don’t even have to think about doing, an effortless striding along the good path.

In a Taoist sense, the path of reason is the path of a sage in training. A true sage has over decades acquired so many good habits and automatized so many useful action patterns that he no longer has to use intent and willpower to stay on the good path. Like a musician or athlete who after thousands of hours of effortful training can eventually let go of his rational mind and fully submit to the spontaneous flow of his performance, so can a sage fully submit, without any resistance, to the flow of life, because he has found his original nature and trained himself to spontaneously act in harmony with it.

The sage does his True Will without effort: reveling in his original nature, enjoying the fruits of his wisdom and discipline, and expressing his true self without restraint or hesitation. The self-trust and world-trust underlying his spontaneous action are so radical that his ego is free to dissolve. This, however, makes the spiritual path of True Will quite dangerous. In particular, you want to be wary of three threats:

Bad and mediocre habits are problematic. As long as you haven’t developed solid habits that consistently keep you on the good path, you’ll be spontaneously inclined to act impulsively and succumb to short-term hedonism. Even if you have only a moderate tendency to consume empty calories, unhealthy drugs, meaningless sex, or useless information, you won’t naturally act in accordance with your True Will. Instead, you’ll feel drawn to your comfort zone. So, before you can trust your intuition, you must first align your habits with your greater purpose and make it your natural tendency to do what maximizes eudaimonia rather than momentary pleasure.

Mental illness is problematic. For example, a pathologically depressed or dysfunctionally aggressive man will not naturally be on the good path. Trusting his “intuitive genius” and going with “the flow of the universe” would only lead him to passive idleness or impulsive destruction. Taoist wisdom might alleviate some forms of mental suffering, but it can’t cure mental diseases. If you have mental health issues, your first True Will must be is to use reason, self-control, and professional help to improve yourself to a point of positive psychological functioning.

Manipulation and complexity are problematic. Unless you live a simple rural life, your spontaneous instincts, even if they are well developed, will often lead you astray. To stay on the good path, you must watch out for products and technologies that hijack your brain; use your rational strength to correct for misleading impulses. Moreover, decisions that affect vast numbers of people with vastly different wills, especially political decisions, are too complex to be made spontaneously; use your rational strength to calculate the outcome probabilities of potential policies, for otherwise you’ll succumb to conformist tribalism.

Overall, you’re on the good path as long as you decide and act in line with your True Will. The True Will is the answer to the question of how to live a good life. Sometimes, this means being goal-oriented, reasonable, and self-controlled (rational True Will); other times, it means being intuitive, spiritual, and spontaneous (deep True Will), and the long-term aim is to become a sage who can fully trust in himself, trust in (his) nature, and trust in the universe to effortlessly lead him towards eudaimonia.

One wants to become like a mighty flowing river, which is not consciously aiming at the sea, and is certainly not yielding to any external influence. It is acting in conformity with the law of its own nature, with the Tao. (Aleister Crowley)

Tao is another word for the spiritual good path, but the reality of the world usually also requires willpower and rationality, which are just as legitimate expressions of the True Will as wu wei is.

Continue Reading

How to Do Your True Will

Against Morality & Ethics

Why the True Will Is Not a Free Will

[theliterateape]

The Demagogues Are Here (and They're Smarter Than Trump)

by Don Hall

As attempted coups go, that was a fucking mess.

Trump, like the anarchists and zealots he emboldened (on both sides of the horseshoe), had no other strategy than Burn it all down and see what happens. His M.O. was so incredibly transparent to anyone paying attention. First, distract and deflect from anything he couldn't lie about. Second, lie. BIG. A lot. The more truth obfuscated, the less centralized the potential for objectivity until all truth fits the postmodernist subjective reality mold. Third, use the passions and emotional immaturity of those most convinced by the lies to inflame the situation. Wind 'em up and let them go.

Granted, we have to give the man some credit. He introduced incredibly sticky terminology that will far outlast his four years in office. Fake News. "Every body knows" as a sign of evidence or proof. "Loser" has taken on an entirely enlarged importance due to Trump. While primarily the quintessential bullshit artist, the man knew exactly how to use social media in ways that have been constructive for everyone from middle school kids trying to out their classroom bullies to college students unhappy with their professors.

His use of Hitler's Big Lie technique is almost unparalleled.

So, if the man was so good at this despot thing why was his coup attempt so blatantly obvious and unsuccessful?

Ego. Trump is so in love with himself and the aura of invincibility he's created that he didn't care that it was in plain sight. He wanted it to be in plain sight so that he, and only he, would get the credit for it in the end. Hitler had a host of sidemen, each equally brilliant and despicable as he. Trump surrounded himself with sub-par bigots, industry insiders, and his moron children so that he was always the smartest person in the room.

His only real problem is that he is far from the smartest person in Washington, D.C.

The only action that will eliminate his threat to our country (or at least severely minimize it) is in the hands of the Gods of Social Media. Take away his bully pulpit and Don Jr. is the only one he reaches. Zuckerberg snapped his FB and Insta until after January 20 but he should consider it permanent if mitigating the TrumpFire is a goal. Twitter has closed him out temporarily -- should be permanent.

Yes, Trump will be a problem for us until the fatass finally clogs his heart-hole up with a Big Mac and he croaks on the shitter like Elvis but at this point, we have more insidious things to worry about.

The demagogues of 2021 have been watching. They've been fine-tuning their approach to power and are constructing their own Big Lies to spread. Unlike Trump, they aren't supposed captains of industry and have no designs on public office. They've seen the constraints of political power and know those obstacles are not the clear road to dominance.

Like Trump, they've seen the power of populism gone rogue and intend to use us against ourselves in exactly the same way. That's how Trump came to power. The Russian hackers didn't rig our election, change votes, or tamper with machinery. They hit us where we can't see it: social media propaganda. They ginned up our own hatred for one another and jacked us all up emotionally. They used our own blind faith in the authority of the internet to divide and conquer. It was nearly flawless and extremely effective.

It's easy to see the asshats who breached the Capitol as stupid morons, stealing lecterns and taking selfies but each one is you. Each one is a normal American who was victim of propaganda. Every QAnon believer has been messaged to over time until the conspiracy seems reasonable.

There has been plenty of handwringing think pieces written about the dangers of both social media and populism. Populism is not in and of itself a bad thing. It is, on its face, the ideal behind our democracy after all. Neither is social media. How could a technology that allows my mom to see pictures of my wife and I in Rhyolite, NV or David's parents see videos of his two year old son saying "Fuck" be evil? Nonetheless, the combination of the two elements create a potentially deadly mix.

As recently as this time last year when confronted with the idea that so-called hate speech should receive censorship my eyes would roll around like marbles in a coffee cup. The very concept of censorship in a marketplace of ideas is against everything I believe America to stand for yet, after watching anti-vaxxers, QAnoners, maskholes, and Donald Fucking Trump use the unlimited reach of the internet to poison that very marketplace, I have to re-examine my stance. 

I have to imagine what the Third Reich would've been if Goebbels had had Faceborg and the thought is horrifying. If Hanoi Hannah had Twitter instead of the radio? Christ. These sorts of propagandists are not new. In a war, messaging to the enemy has been standard operating practice since Alexander the Great ("Great," see?) but the addition of the awesome reach of our modern-day soma is giving the Big Lies rocket fuel.

We have licenses to drive and speed limits because there are always going to be few who can't be trusted to drive responsibly. We have licenses for owning guns because a few are always going to use them criminally. Perhaps, in the argument to somehow regulate communication we require a license to Tweet? Yeah, I hear you. How dare we even consider something so legislative? The libertarians will go apeshit at the government overreach. Right now the internet is only regulated in any meaningful way by the providers. For a large enough fee, you can use it without limitation.

Perhaps the internet should be a public utility like water or electricity? Sure, you're still gonna punish black people in Flint, MI but at least there are legal remedies to that sort of bigoted grift. Whatever the answer, we need to be talking about this now. QAnon came to be via an unlicensed, anonymous jackass convincing otherwise reasonable people that there was a pedophile ring in the basement of pizza parlor in D.C. run by Hillary Clinton. That's the kind of spew one would hear from a raging lunatic digging into a trash can on a street corner wearing stuffed animals for shoes but somehow, on the internet, it suddenly seems more plausible to the gentle-minded few looking for answers to the question "What did Hillary do with those seven year olds who only wanted a slice?"

Expanding the definition of hate speech isn't going to help us. The further we go to muddy the waters of what is and is not hate speech has left us with the notion that everyone white is racist and that everyone Asian is also white. The expansion of hate speech has us somehow agreeing that a dirty joke in the wrong setting constitutes assault and that sort of thinking is just one virtue signal away from being Pizzagate.

No. The demagogues have been watching and waiting and Trump's yuge shadow merely kept the light of day off of them. He'll be out of the picture (at least as much as he'll accept it) soon enough and those Capitol-storming jack holes and Seattle-burning Antifa posers will find another power-thirsty grifter to follow like Moses did a shrub on fire.

You'll know them because their credo has no evidence for their conclusions, it centers on them as the experts, denies corroboration from science or credible expertise, and intentionally creates division and Otherism in order to maintain a foothold into the mania that is their Big Lie.

They are also smarter than Trump so their coup will be sneakier and far, far more effective.

[tumblunni]

OH MY GOSH

I’m doing a reread of the older books that MarkReads did, cos he released his reviews in ebook form after his first site’s hosting went down and we lost the original posts of them.

Its really cool cos he includes an entrie second review of everything that he does years later with all this hindsight and stuff, commenting on the series as a whole and how hilarious unprepared he was in the original review. As well as all sorts of other bonus features and footnote stuff of cool!

And he even edited out any predjudiced or uncomfortable jokes that he’d made back when he was less experienced as an activist for LGBT rights and mental health and stuff, like originally the review about the dursleys in harry potter was framed as a psychologist’s report about how craaaayzy they are, and now its a detective’s report on how criminal they are. Cos seriously its “just a joke” and all but it kinda has unfortunate implications to imply that literal abusive parents are only that way cos of mental illness rather than yknw.. making the choice to be abusive. the “joke” wasnt intentionally meant to be saying that but its still how it ended up. And the really good part about it is that he didnt just take the opportunity of the original site being gone to pretend like he never made those mistakes, he edits out the actual content of the controversy itself but talks about what happened during his self re-review bonus section at the back. And he talks about why exactly he felt that this review was innapropriate and how he’s changed since then. Cos seriously over these years he’s been diagnosed with depression himself and started getting help with it and tried to become a really welcoming community for other mentally ill people! And he was always out about being gay even when he started his first review of Twilight, it was like 5 seconds into the first review before he couldnt restrain himself from yelling “is this really how straight people flirt??” XD But he used to kinda be a bit awkward maybe and uhh.. that relateable feel of trying to be “one of the good ones” according to bigoted standards? Like “oh im gay but i dont act TOO gay and i totally make gay jokes about myself ha ha ha”. I obviously can’t know for sure because i cant read his mind, but the impression i got from the reviews is that this was why he made some of his more crude jokes earlier on, despite being an absolute cinnamon roll of a man who didnt seem to believe any of the bigotry behind them. Either that or just genuinely not knowing that jokes were bigoted at the time, yknow? We all make mistakes and a lot of people amoungst minorities have a history of stuff like this cos internalized shame is a hell of a drug. I internalized transphobic stuff so hard that i was terrified of admitting i was trans, and overcompensated with trans jokes to try and convince people i was normal. And i didnt even properly comprehend what being trans WAS, i had this bigoted messed up idea of something i should be ashamed of, something that was “sick perverts getting off on dressing up” so of course it couldnt be me because I just felt.. yknow.. unhappy with what i was born as? Not any sort of big devious evil reason for it, just “dressing this different way makes me not want to kill myself”. But here’s lil kid me being told that the Only Possible Reason to want to do that is Gross Pedophile Reason, thus I built a big old labyrinth around my feelings and blindly repeated the rude shit my parents said without even understanding what it meant. Sighhh it was a big ol mess!

ANYWAY IM GOING OFFTOPIC AGAIN

I just made this post cos its really cool to see how your favourite creators have changed, especially when they had personal growth like that as well as just getting more and more awesome at the things they create. And it really warms my heart to see Mark being at peace with his own mental illness nowadays, and having like one of the most well regulated forums ever that doesn’t accept any form of bigoted behaviour and strives to welcome people like he is right now, and educate.. well, people like he was back then! And he’s also become so much prouder in his sexuality and found people who support him for who he is, after his super harrowing backstory of being abandoned by his parents and emotionally abused by fundementalist christian authority figures. And he now has an awesome adorable goofball of a boyfriend who even joins in on guest reviews sometimes, and it is absolutely AMAZING to see them teasing each other singing theme tunes to stuff and just generally being the definition of relationship goals!

AND THAT IS THE AWESOME THING THAT MADE MY HEART EXPLODE TODAY

Cos i bought the old harry potter review ebooks, and IT TURNS OUT HIS BOYFRIEND IS HERE! He cameos in prisoner of askaban yeaaaars before they started dating! he was actually the friend who’d already read the series and reccommended it to mark, so he’s kinda responsible for kickstarting the entire MarkReads blog?? THEY WERE DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER AWWWW!! Seriously YOOO i was like “huh he mentions a friend here with the same name as- OH MY GOD ITS HIM” And his cameo appearance is a dual review just like the ones he’d do later on, tho here its a transcript of an IM chat rather than an actual video. Man this is so early on that they didnt even live close to each other! God its Love Origins, holy shittt

fuck NOTHING warms my heart more than seeing the journey my fave creators go on! this man has come so far and im so glad he’s in a better place than when he started!! he’s just so happy and bubbly in his current reviews and he started off so grumpy on that first Twilight review and his Harry Potter review was like a kid in a candy store cos he was GENUINELY SURPRISED TO FIND AN ACTUAL GOOD BOOK! Aaaa his future boyfriend’s reccommendation led to him recapturing his love of reading and starting a whole career out of reviews. God thats so romantic!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fuck! My bigass heart cant handle this!!

So yeah uhh if you’re interested in a gay positive review series with an adorable bear of a man with the cutest beard and sleeve tattoos who just squees constantly about all the emotions he was taught to repress during an abusive childhood AND ALSO SMOOCHES HIS BOYFRIEND AND FINALLY GETS TO BE HAPPY YES, check out MarkReads and also the sister site MarkWatches! or his name in general is Mark Oshiro to find all the stuff he’s done. As I said before, there’s kind of this issue with archiving where all of his earliest posts are lost. And he rereleased them with all this bonus content as ebooks so we’d have a way to donate to support the site. So it might seem a bit intimidating for the “place to start” to be a pay-only thing, but I’d reccommend not reading in chronological order honestly. Its best to just go through his site and see if he did any books/shows that are your favourites, then start from there. That’s what i did, i think i discovered him via Buffy and Angel? And then I started watching ATLA because of him and WOW we had very similar levels of fanboy screaming, lol! So yeah you might discover some cool new series via this sweet man’s wonderful bloggings! :D