#license to internet

[nando161mando]

[arconinternet]

Duckman: The Legend of the Fall, or, The Graphic Adventures of a Private Dick (Windows, The Illusions Gaming Company, 1997)

You can download it here, or download it packaged to run on modern versions of Windows here.

[aunhinged]

Sherlock and House crossover AU

Sherlock: I switched John’s phone language to Icelandic. He’s been trying to translate texts with Google for the last two hours.

House: I changed Wilson’s ringtone to the sound of a cardiac monitor flatlining. He nearly had a heart attack.

Sherlock: Efficient and thematic.

House: I aim to please.

John (to Wilson): We could just... ignore them?

Wilson: Ignoring them only makes them try harder.

[sysmedsaresexist]

As someone who remembers how vile syscourse was just a few years ago, when I heard this blog experienced character devrlopment, I was shocked at first. When I found some posts explaining it, I was even more intrigued.

If anyone is open to it, I wouldn't mind a link to any explanation of how you fell into sysmedicalism and how you started unlearning it. I'm genuinely proud of you for that development, because changing your entire outlook on a topic is difficult, especially when you have people who support that old view but not the new one behind you. This isn't meant to be condescending, in case it is read that way.

Syscourse has only gotten more vile, honestly.

This ask kind of comes at an interesting time. Last night, I made a post about the TPA and my extreme hatred for them (that'll never change), but I linked a post from my second Twitter account, which brought me WAY back to my first active move in syscourse.

First off, hi, it's not condescending. I found it's a lot easier to talk about than I thought it would be. It doesn't hurt as much as I thought to say, "I was wrong and being hard-headed." I was expecting ego death, but instead, everyone has been so kind.

I was asked what made me switch sides, but as for my humble beginning...

I spent a good couple years just lurking and watching. I was out in therapy and quietly taking all these questions to my therapist. "Are endos real? Is DID really trauma based? Could I be endo? Is that what you become when you heal from DID?"

Suffice to say, not the healthiest questions. There was a lot of misinformation out there. Through talking to my therapist, I believed I was in the right, and I debated for a long time getting involved to talk about some of the more prominent myths about DID.

But then.

Then.

I met Bethany.

Well, I didn't meet her. She blocked me immediately. She was a social worker, and a pro endo, DID system, but I really didn't like the way she talked down to CDD systems.

She was actually huge on Twitter, she had her own website and everything for sex positive therapy, she was doing interviews, she made wild claims about what kind of work she had done in the field, sob stories about clients that didn't make it. She had just started something called the Dissociative Society of Canada.

She was BIG.

And she was a liar.

I'm actually genuinely curious if anyone remembers this, it was seriously a huge, DESTRUCTIVE event to hit BOTH communities.

The Dissociative Society of Canada was real. She started it. But she was not a social worker. Her stories weren't real.

Having done all the same schooling myself, in the same province, with the same rules, I knew she was lying, and I called her out for it.

The pro endo AND CDD community attacked me HARD. I was told I was harassing and stalking, I remember reading the post that called for people to mass report me and I remember the emails starting to flood in from Twitter from countries that required the email be sent for reports. The only posts I had made on Twitter had been about Bethany, but people were talking about who I must be as a person and why I was so angry and jaded and terrible.

Eventually, Bethany admitted it. She never publicly apologized. She made her board of directors do it for her in a letter about shutting down the society (they hadn't known either). I was able to get her listed as an unlicensed therapist to avoid (she's still on there). The Dissociative Society of Canada was shut down after only a year.

And I felt terrible. I hated myself. The posts that came out afterwards about how much people had loved Bethany and how their trust had been destroyed, people that had done therapy with her and were permanently damaged by the lie. She had given a lot of people hope, but it was all a lie.

That was my fault. If I hadn't said anything, I don't think she would have been caught. She was still in school to get her education, she wanted to become licensed, she just wasn't yet.

But it was illegal for her to be providing therapy and telling everyone she was a social worker. She used this title to shut down anyone who disagreed with her, even when she was clearly wrong.

It was a clusterfuck. I came out of it DESPISING endogenic systems for the harassment and misinformation, and the lies about ME. I hated the desire to ignore her unlicensed, illegal actions simply because she had been a prominent voice for the pro endo community (seriously, people wished I hadn't done it, that she had never been called out and had continued her work).

This was my first real interaction with the pro endo community. A lying POS and a bunch of endos lying about me.

I started JAS around that time, and we all know what happened from there. My first post was about the myth of the 10% non-traumagenic in the DSM (it's a misquote).

I don't want to say I wanted to replace Bethany-- I wanted to show how someone who wasn't licensed could still advocate without lies, I wanted to provide that same level of educated discussion, I actually heavily considered putting together a licensed team to start another dissociative society. I debated getting licensed to do it myself.

Unfortunately, life doesn't always work out that way.

I did get her Twitter url out of it when she deleted, though. My trophy.

Ending on a sad note, I suppose.

I was distrusting of the endo community, I was angry. I didn't trust anyone for a long time after this. Who would just go online and lie like that?

It took a really long time to get over it and let go of that anger and hurt.

Remember, don't trust anyone or anything on the internet. Fact check everyone and everything, even if you think you already know the answer, or think you know who someone is.

If she hadn't been such an actual bitch to people, I wouldn't have noticed. Seriously. This was the tweet that caught her, no therapist should talk like this to anyone. The concerns raised in the first image mirrored my own exactly, and I would not have appreciated being spoken to that way. I thought, if she IS licensed, she should be reprimanded. But I couldn't find her license, and thus began the downfall of Bethany Killen.

TL;dr if you're lying on the internet, be nice to people :)

While I didn't always live up to my own standards of civility (I can admit that), I TRIED to speak to endogenic systems as respectfully as possible, and my only goal was to NOT be like Bethany. Sometimes I failed, but at least I never claimed to be licensed.

The point is that I'm trying to be better every day. Finally admitting that I was pro endo made it a lot easier to be nice. I wasn't trying to hold up this charade anymore.

And finally, I want to remind everyone that it's not just "the other side" that can do damage or spread misinformation. Our own community can do damage if we don't call each other out, too.

The most damaging thing I've ever seen in syscourse came from another CDD system.

I think I've rambled enough, thank you!

[kaengeru]

hi :) SO i got emergency surgery a few days ago (read: thursday) and while my job will work w me on letting me, yknow, keep my job, im gonna be pretty much Not Moving and will see about opening coms/requests/trades/whatever to keep me busy in the meantime

[foxghost]

If you have the time to do some reading in Chinese lemme point you to a fav writer of mine that is no longer on jjwxc ... or anywhere else but this is their web site:

脈脈

(The novels can be accessed via the drop-down to your right, then add ?order=asc to the url to list by ascending order)

All of their work is available to read for free, and my fav of them all is 浮光, also known as the book that lives in my head rent-free

[sluckythewizard]

FORGOT I CAN POST STUFF HERE. HERE, CHECK OUT THESE BEASTS I SCRIBBLED UP A WHILE BACK

[2000ghosts]

september 26, 2004

[soft-cloud-pillows]

[arconinternet]

Once Upon a Forest (In-browser, DOS, Sanctuary Woods, 1995)

You can play it in your browser here.

Note: runs less choppily in Chrome than in Firefox.

[transsexualhamlet]

trying to write about the distortion is so hard because i love it but to write it properly disorients me so severely that i need to stop and like not think about it for several days before trying to go back and further, more deeply confuse myself

[agentark]

yesterday vs today looool thank god

[what-the-fuck-khr]

I see people very often sharing tips on how to avoid being scammed and I just sit here like… I’ll share it but how many times must this be done? how many times must this era’s internet children be reminded of internet safety? why doesn’t it sink in? are they doing it on purpose or?????? “I pressed a random link and and and be careful!” like problem number one was you pressing a random link. huh? I feel like there’s a million ways for someone who’s that tech savvy to avoid getting fucking scammed. it’s so confusing it’s so baffling. you’ve been on the internet since you were five or some shit but you can’t read an email address to figure out if it’s incorrect or not and then get scammed. are you kidding?? do you not read???? emails entirely???? do you not double check phone numbers by typing them on Google?????? hello??????? it feels like I’m talking to a brick wall

[wildflowercryptid]

i am so glad that i checked reddit before i considered finally getting the new csp update. the newer features are really appealing, but there's no fucking way i'm dealing with constant online drm like fuck OFF.

[uschi-the-listener]

My friends are my friends

And i love them

Though all my friends

Are

Imaginary

I have seen pictures

A few voices i have heard

But no scent

No corporeal sensations

Have emerged between us

I suppose i must also be imaginary

It's okay

They exist

And that is

Usually

Enough

But a hug is a hug

We can eat and drink together

But we can't hold hands

Catch each other before we fall

Nudge

Slap

Tickle

Wipe the tears away

What we have is good

What we have not

Is nearly infinite

.

[crescentfool]

doing things outside of your usual is such a humbling experience...