#ode to a cow

[cowcowwow]

A Broken Chance

[butchvampireheimerdinger]

can we get butchfemme sevika/reader hcs please :3

GAWD yes. Lord, I've been waiting for this day lessgo

ButchFemme Sevika/Reader Headcanons

⚢ In typical butch fashion, her love language is acts of service

⚢ Loves to be fawned over ! Like “Omfg babe you’re sooo strong helping me put together furniture” and trust she is melting even though her face is expressionless and immoveable

⚢ She likes when you graze your long nails over her skin for back scratches and its all nice and light and tingly

⚢ She’s not much of a prettyboy (prettybutch…?) so she doesn’t really have a skincare routine but you have an extensive regimen so she memorizes all ur million little bougie products and gets you an extra to keep at ur place so you don’t have to eff up your skincare routine in favor of spontaneous sleepovers

⚢ Yeah she’s not too particular about her grooming in general. She lets you cut her hair even if you’re not super experienced with clippers. She still hypes you up even if you nick her ear when doing up her side shave/undercut.

“Oops! Sorry babe I think I got your ear…”

“Didn’t even feel it. You’re doing great baby keep going.”

⚢ On that note, pet names: For Sevika, its baby alll dayyyyyy ! She calls you baby, my girl, my pretty girl, my woman, etc. And as for what you call her, she always loves a “omg babe” moment. And “settle down there, cowboy” but in like a jesting sorta way. Also: “my butch.”

⚢ Stone top/pillow princess anybody?

⚢ Also: she’s ur cash cow. She loves buying you expensive shit and showing you off and showing off the expensive shit. You breathed in the direction of a particularly nice perfume? Surprise! It’s in your bathroom the following day. Like. It’s a theme. Especially in ur pre-relationship courting era. “Baby anything you want I get for you. Say the word I’ll buy for you the moon, the stars, et cetera, no one can provide for you like I can” blah blah blah

⚢ But you can’t be interrupting her card games tho. She’s like a teenage boy on the xbox with those things. Probs something to be worried about tbh.

⚢ And I’ve written this into a fanfic already, but that bitch wears boyshorts. I was thinking boxers for a while but I think that would be too much bulk over them skinny little plants she wears. I am a Sevika boyshorts TRUTHER

⚢ And she works out. Matter of fact, forget the prettybutch comment because Sevika WORKS OUTTT and I think she has resistance bands. Like she goes to an actual gym but around the house you’ll find her repping with those damn resistance bands to relieve stress or just cause she sees them and remembers.

⚢ And she works out to like. Classical music. Cause she’s a classy mothafuckaaa just absolutely getting ripped and her face is in a scary ass sneer but there's like ode to joy in the background

⚢ You pack her lunch. She gets flamed at work cause her paper bag is covered in lil hearts and stickers and kissy lipstick marks and its filled with sugary baked goods like pink sparkly cupcakes and fruity pastries cause u can’t cook. But by gawd u can bake.

⚢ That being said, she’s the cook in the relationship. Especially when it comes to meat. It’s problematic. Sevika’s version of “girl dinner” is straight up protein. Her typical meal is like. A rotisserie chicken + hard boiled eggs. It made you gasp the first time you saw her pull out one of her meal prep tins and it was just that.

⚢ Oh yeah and she meal preps

⚢ Claims she “doesn’t get sick” because her “immune system is just built different.”

⚢ When she does get sick, she refuses to chill out and let herself be sick and she tries to speedrun her way to health by taking too much vitamin C and then working out and cranking the heat to “sweat it out quicker.”

⚢ She knits to relieve stress

⚢ Sleeps topless and in undies. And a wife pleaser tank if its chilly.

[serpentface]

WARDI WRITTEN LANGUAGE (BASICS).

Couya's full name (properly 'Haidamane Couya') written formally and with common handwriting conventions.

The Wardi written language derives from earlier proto-language systems consisting exclusively of logograms without direct phonetic meaning or grammatical structure. These symbols gradually became simplified and abstracted to the point of many having little intrinsic clarity, and combined to communicate abstract concepts.

The development of a full written language did not occur independently (as very few written languages do), and its phonetic elements (namely its use of syllabograms) were largely derived the 'ancient' Burri writing system, gradually synthesized with native writing conventions, and in the contemporary forms a wholly distinct system. The language's Relatively universalized form is a very recent phenomena, developing within the past two centuries with the region's conquering/unification into a single entity.

The contemporary written language is a mixture of logograms and syllabograms. It is read from right to left and arranged in horizontal columns. The most formal variant of this system contains each character within a square outline, usually separated by a small space. This outline confers little phonetic or symbolic information beyond making distinction between syllables exceptionally clear, and can be (and often is) omitted in handwriting. The separation of words is conveyed through a narrow rectangle or line in formal contexts, and again often omitted in handwriting (instead indicated instead by a wider blank space).

The pure logograms that have been retained in this writing system tend to be those of very common words or specific concepts (most logogram characters for types of livestock, key crops, water, major body parts, etc are widely recognized and in common use). There has not yet been any attempts to fully 'formalize' the language and omit potentially unnecessary logograms, and they remain frequently used as shorthand while conveying the same semantic information.

Many of the syllabogram characters are directly derived from logograms that depicted monosyllabic words. For example, the spoken word 'gan' means 'cow', and the character for the syllable 'gan' is identical to the common logogram for 'cow'.

The name Gantoche (literally "cow-eye") could be written either fully with syllabograms as:

or through logograms as:

Both ultimately communicate the same meaning, but the former clarifies pronunciation (the words gan and atoche are contracted, it's gantoche and not gan-atoche).

It is a relatively easy written language to learn, as the pure syllabogram characters indicate their own pronunciation with little ambiguity and often have consistency to their construction (ie the character for the syllable 'man' contains most of the same elements as that for the syllable 'wan'- the dot placement in particular has indication of the vowel sounds).

The inclusion of logograms in general and many of the syllabic characters being directly imported From logograms complicates matters. These characters lack visual consistency, and can be confusing to the large swath of the public who know common logograms but not the full written language itself. Ie: the word 'ungande' meaning 'liver' will be composed of logogram-derived syllable characters for 'un' (which alone means 'hand') and 'gan' (which alone means 'cow'). Someone who is only semi-literate in common logograms may be confused at the meaning, especially since these same exact same characters may be used elsewhere on their own to indicate 'hand' or 'cow'.

One major exception to this tendency is that current religious doctrine requires established logogram characters describing God to be used in place of syllabic characters. The word for god is 'Od', and has its own unique character (as do each of the Faces, the capital F 'Face', and Its deified pronoun). The syllable 'od' [oʊd] is very common in the Wardi language, and a wholly separate character is used for the phonetic sound when it is not a reference to the deity (ie 'lion' (odo [oʊdoʊ]) does not contain the same character for God in spite of its first syllable having the exact same pronunciation). Names are a bit of a gray area (ie: the name 'Odabi' is very common and carries the meaning of 'gift/blessing from God'). Religious leadership is currently experiencing a mild schism on whether the written character for God is separated due to being wholly sacrosanct (and thus inappropriate to include in the written form of a personal name) or as more of a functional delineation of the sacred and mundane.

[beddybites]

quick doodle i colored of giyuu and babynai! hope you like itt >:D

OHHHH H HH H YMM G OD IM IN HYSTERICS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOLY COW!!!!!! oh this is so os osososos oadorable. Im gonna die. tumblr user fleurfuturee im going to die this is so sos oso precious. Oh my god. oh my god . family. they are so happy. Fuckass baby bruh. obsessed with giyuus smile. he is happy. he is finally happy. he is taking care of someone and he is happy. and look at obis little hand. IS HE HOLDIG UP A MIDDLE FINGERRRR. AND HIS GIANT BOW ON HIS YUKATSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA BAWLING.

thank you so much im going to print this out and put it on my frige

[deadmomjokes]

King of Attolia brainrot memes part 2

(spoilers)

First, an ode to one of my favorite scenes.

Bonus:

Did I mention Costis doesn't get paid enough for this? Loved this man just being like, "Nope, I literally cannot deal with the stress right now and so have Decided That Didn't Happen."

And, of course, one of my other favorite scenes:

Not as big and flashy as "Diplomacy in my own name," but holy cow if I wasn't just as elated. Gen coming into his own! Accepting his fate with his head held high! Becoming KING! So subtle and yet so poignant!

And lastly, a shoutout to the quietly understated emotional arc in this one that threw me an unexpected gut punch.

Another 11/10, "How does she do it, this woman is so smart and clever" wild ride from the Notorious MWT, ALL HAIL THE QUEEN

[chaifootsteps]

What do you like about Lackadaisy? I know nothing about the show and I saw you rated it as your top favorite

I once described Lackadaisy as the animation/webcomic equivalent of one of those restaurants where they can tell you the name of the cow that produced the cheese you're eating, and I stick by that. There's just an absolutely insane amount of attention to detail in this show, they're committed to paying their animators a living wage, and Tracy is genuinely one of the most scarily talented human beings I've ever come across. From the characters to the dialogue choices to the clothing everyone's wearing, everything's carefully thought out.

Here's the opening to the pilot. And for the record, that ode to the Mississippi? That's not a poem they pinched from a turn-of-the-century book somewhere, Tracy wrote that.

[zodiacgossipzine]

Hello Paristans,

We are still looking for writers for the following topics for our VICE X VICE Zodiac Gossip Magazine!

Zodiac articles for the:

- Dragon

- Monkey

- Sheep

- Horse

- Cow

- Rabbit

- Tiger

- Boar (Leorio)

Additional Pages we would like to fill include:

- Paraging Scandal

- Ode to Netero

- additional quizzes

- Additional Pariston Article

- Additional Ging Article

Larger Articles are 350-500 words

Smaller articles are 50-150 words

Join us if you love gossip and scandal!!!

[martinotea]

Recently, due to school and exams, I haven't had time to draw properly so I'll just post some quick sketches/doodles I did

+ two drawings I had time for

About drawings :

The proportions in drawings are inaccurate! I didn't pay much attention to it!

This first drawing where Jon is drawn on a pink base and Martin on a blue base is intended to represent their stay in a cabin/safehouse. Jon sits on the bed and Martin sits on the floor next to him. They are talking about something. There is a plush toy of a Highland cow in the background next to it there is a tape recording device and a little plant. Jon's bag and Martin's shoes are the close to the bed

Two quick sketches od Martin. In the first one, he is standing and thinking about tea, and in the second, he is holding Jonathan in his arms

[ All the doodles on the yellow paper are sticker designs ] The first yellow card shows Jon and Martin, they walk through the apocalypse and talk. They stay close to each other. Second yellow card shows Jon in a cup with the words "Archivist's Tea" (I forgot the " 's "). The last yellow card shows Martin with arms raised and one leg up

The next two drawings show Martin again. One embarrassed, the other standing straight with the caption "Oh cool" and the last one with the caption "I lost a dog"

Jon's sketch for the dtiys

Helen (I don't like her hair so I'll have to play with her hair later)

Finished work on dtiys (I'm not very proud of it but I don't have time to improve it )

Informations :

I may not be very active for the next month due to exams and the end of the school year I will try to come back after all the exams. And I will definitely make all the sketches I have made in graphic versions!

[gryficowa]

Looking through old memories of FB I found it (this is the entry of one side that reports racist and xenophobic shit, you understand what I mean)

"NEOFASZYSTA I ANTYSEMITA NOWYM SZEFEM ODDZIAŁU IPN

Czy ktoś jeszcze nie wierzy, że pisowski rząd wspiera faszystów?

Nowym szefem wrocławskiego IPN zostaje Tomasz Greniusz - wieloletni działacz neofaszystowskiego ONR. Podkreślający swą "aryjskość" i antysemityzm.

Za swój wzór do naśladowania uznaje belgijskiego SS-mana Leona Degrelle, ulubieńca Hitlera. Za hasło: "Polska cała tylko biała" - Greniuch podkreślał, że "oznacza supremację ludzi białych w Polsce". I bronił gestu hajlowania jako "pozdrowienia aryjskiej Europy".

Innym bohaterem Greniucha jest Adam Doboszyński, którego bojówki w 1936 roku terroryzowały żydowskich kupców w Myślenicach. Dzisiejszy szef lokalnego IPN w 2012 r. zorganizował "Marsz na Myślenice" razem z kolegami z ONR dla uczczenia pamięci o przedwojennych atakach na Żydów.

Greniuch w 2018 roku został odznaczony przez prezydenta Andrzeja Dudę Brązowym Krzyżem Zasługi. Niedługo później objął stanowisko stanowisko naczelnika IPN w Opolu.

I można by było to wszystko uznać za błędy młodości. Ale Greniuch nigdy nie odciął się od swoich wczesnych doświadczeń, ani od neofaszystowskiej ideologii.

___________

Nie ma dla nas "świętych krów". Nie uznajemy specjalnych kast, którym wolno więcej. Ścigamy rasistów, homofobów, faszystów, niezależnie czy ukrywają się pod eleganckim garniturem, czy przebierają w sutannę.

Wspieraj działania Ośrodka:

PayPal i karta płatnicza: www.omzrik.pl/wesprzyj-nas

Dane do przelewu:

nr konta 19 2490 0005 0000 4520 8435 8540

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Plac Dąbrowskiego 5

00-057 Warszawa

tytuł : "darowizna na działalność statutową"

IBAN : PL19249000050000452084358540

SWIFT: ALBPPLPW"

"Neo -fascist and anti -Semite with the new head of the IPN branch

Doesn't anyone believe that the Pisz government supports fascists?

Tomasz Greniusz - a longtime activist of the neo -fascist ONR - becomes the new head of the Wrocław IPN. Emphasizing its "Aryan" and anti -Semitism.

He considers his Belgian SS-man Leon Degrelle as his role model, Hitler's favorite. For the slogan: "Poland is only white" - Gorniuch emphasized that "means supremation of white people in Poland." And he defended the gesture of hajling as "greetings of Aryan Europe."

Adam Doboszyński is another hero of Graniuch, whose militias in 1936 terrorized Jewish merchants in Myślenice. Today's head of the local Institute of National Remembrance in 2012 organized a "march na Myślenice" together with colleagues from ONR to celebrate the memory of pre -war attacks on Jews.

In 2018, Gorniuch was awarded by President Andrzej Duda with the Bronze Cross of Merit. Shortly afterwards he took the position of the head of the Institute of National Remembrance in Opole. And all this could be considered the mistakes of youth. But Gorniuch has never cut himself off from his early experiences, nor from the neo -fascist ideology.

There are no "holy cows" for us. We do not recognize special castes, which are allowed more. We chase racists, homophobes, fascists, regardless of whether they hide under an elegant suit, do they change into a cassock.

Support the center of the center:

PayPal and payment card: www.omzrik.pl/wesprzy-nas Transfer data:

Account number 19 2490 0005 0000 4520 8435 8540

Monitoring Center for Racist and Xenophobic behavior

Dąbrowskiego Square 5

00-057 Warsaw

Title: "Donation for statutory activities" Iban: PL1924900005000000452084358540

Swift: AlbPplpw"

In the context of Elon Musk and the fact that some argue that he did not show the Nazi symbol, and "Roman" it comments on a lot…

What is the difference between the symbol of this Nazi from Poland (with a nationalist symbol), and what Elon Musk did?

Oh, yes, Elon is a white immigrant that has money and supports Israel's crimes, of course that it was not a Nazi symbol!

It is literally fucked up that even in Poland, the media themselves could call it what the fuck looks like!

I also found the words of Donald Tusk, which refused to arrest Benyamin Natajhu, it fits perfectly now

[fototvora]

Pt.2

Když mi bylo řečeno akvárium, nečekala jsem kapustňáky. Velmi příjemné překvapení. V klidu si tak plavaly od salátu k salátu a opravdu jsou to takový vodní krávy. Na moji sestru udělali velký dojem - musela mít i plyšáka.

When you say aquarium, i wouldn't imagine manatees. It was a very nice surprise tho. They were calmly swimming from lettuce to lettuce and yes, they really are water cows. My sister was impressed enough to buy herself a manatee plushie.

[blapis-blazuli]

Now listen up

I am obsessed with this man. He's got so many weird details about him and I love (almost) all of them.

First, Slim's original concept fucks. Being an undead cattle rustler out for bull's blood due to being trampled to death is fascinating. I don't know how long it took before someone at Disney cried "too dark" at that backstory, but I'm surprised it was even in consideration given the mostly lighter tone of the final product. More than that, Disney could've had a literal ghost rider among their villains! Had that movie been any good, he might've joined Disney's popular villain lineup, or maybe we could've even gotten a boss battle with him in a Kingdom Hearts game. That's not what we ended up with due to Reasons, though, which is a bit disappointing, but not much you can do about that.

Anyway, onto what we did get.

Before Slim makes his formal appearance, he's only seen in silhouette, on a wanted poster, then in disguise, and is finally fully revealed when he rides in on a bison. He is huge, and I don't mean because he's fat, I mean he's a good deal taller than most of the other characters. He's set up to be someone threatening, to be taken seriously.

And then comes his yodeling villain song.

The moment it's revealed that Slim's yodeling can hypnotize cows, the music picks up and there's a literal rainbow of colors for the rest of his number. As I said, he's a big man, but he's also light enough on his feet to dance and jump on and off any of these cows while not missing a beat in his performance. When the men who got knocked out beforehand come running after him, he doesn't threaten them, he just throws his spurs at a precarious bit of rocky landscape with such force that it falls and blocks the pathway to him. That's more badass than if he did draw his gun on them.

Actually, I wanna talk about the music he performs. The movie's set in Wyoming during 1889, so obviously Slim's not gonna be yodeling A Cruel Angel's Thesis or whatever. They could’ve come up with something original for him to yodel to (which, I mean, they kinda do), but they chose music by composers such as Tchaikovsky and Beethoven, which aren't exactly things you'd associate with the wild west. The obvious out-of-universe answer for why those pieces were chosen is "they existed before the year this is set in, and they're recognized even today," but we've no in-universe answer for why he chose them or how he knows them. Regardless, it's kinda amazing that he knows them well enough to yodel them.

His lair in Echo Mine has an area with some nice furniture in it. How'd this shit get there? Who knows. Anyway, this is where he reveals that he disguises himself to buy up the properties owned by the people he's stolen cattle from, which includes his former employers. Why doesn't he work for any of them anymore? He never directly says. According to him, they didn't "appreciate [his] talents," which means they probably hated his yodeling. I don't blame him for being mad about that because why the hell would you tell someone that? If he's doing the job right and well without hurting anyone, then who cares? The idea that he's moved on to use a skill against the former bosses who didn't like it is kinda great though.

(Side note: a nice, small detail about this part of the lair is the faded branding on the map, which shows that Slim has been doing this for quite a while. Shame that it's not more consistent from shot to shot though. I can't take credit for noticing this myself: my partner pointed it out after I posted a screenshot as a joke on Discord. She's so cool.)

Slim doesn't like it when someone calls his yodeling "singing": he thinks singing is beneath him given the disdain in his voice when he says that's what birds, saloon gals, and children do. No, he considers what he does to be an art. He's not entirely wrong, though: it is an impressive skill, especially since he can yodel to certain classical pieces like The William Tell Overture, Ode to Joy, Ride of the Valkyries, and The 1812 Overture. (Also Yankee Doodle, because, well, American. Also maybe Largo al factotum from The Barber of Seville, but I'm unsure of that one: unlike Slim, I am no classical music expert.) There's no need for him to be quite as defensive about it as he is, but his nephews calling it "singing," saying that might be why his bosses didn't like him, and calling yodeling "silly" is enough to make him get violently angry at them. Man's got issues.

Oh yeah, Slim has nephews. They're triplets named Gil, Phil, and Bill, and they're collectively known as The Willies. Unlike their uncle, they're all blond and thin, so god knows what Slim's unnamed and unmentioned sibling must look like.

Slim also has a bison named Junior. I'm not fond of the whole "he's too fat to ride anything else" angle of that, but I do like that they chose an animal that people are constantly told to not mess with because of how dangerous they are. Slim's not afraid of him: he's got this creature trained to listen when he calls for him. I can only guess that Slim is the one who named Junior, so maybe he also raised him. It would explain why Junior appears annoyed with him but still puts up with having Slim jump on his back and the like.

You know what Slim doesn't have though? Kids. Putting together the disdain in his voice when he mentions children, his seemingly low opinion of saloon girls, his big villain number turning the landscape into a rainbow of colors, the queer history of cowboys, and the prevalence of queer-coding in Disney villains... well, I think you get where I'm going with that.

Moving onto his disguise. Don't ask me why nobody figured out this was Slim sooner, given that his wanted poster shows they have the same facial hair, bushy eyebrows, and bags under the eyes. My best guess is because it's in black-and-white and he's in a different outfit, and unless someone's encountered him before they probably don't know what he sounds like. Anyway, His alias is Yancy O'del (yeah, I know), but the one sign we see him with has both "Mister" and "Esquire" in there.

Having looked this up, I learned a few things. First, having "Mister" and "Esquire" together isn't something you're supposed to do, yet nobody in-universe caught this. Second, in the United States, "Esquire" is a title only used for lawyers, so maybe that's why nobody questioned him - fear of a sudden lawsuit for something or other. Third, "Yancy" was not really a name used back then, or at least not a common one. Why'd he choose that name (besides for the pun)? I dunno.

(Also, where the hell does Junior stay whenever he goes to one of these auctions? The world may never know.)

Slim's final defeat at the hooves/wings/what-have-you of several farm animals is pretty pathetic, even by silly Disney villain standards, but I got to give him credit for not wanting to give up even after his disguise is (literally) blown and while he's stuck in a train's smokestack. I have no idea how he planned on getting out of that one, and whatever it was most likely wouldn't have worked anyway, but I admire his refusal to back down in the face of obvious defeat.

Even in his very last scene we see him struggling with the ropes they tied around him while he's carted off to jail. He does not give up.

Anyway, here he is picking up Small Black Market Dealer Steve Buscemi one-handed like it's nothing. (His name is Wesley, but Slim keeps calling him Mister Weasley. That's right, this movie used that joke before Frozen did.)

And here he is lifting three full-grown cows off the ground before tying them up faster than they can react to it. (The cows have names too, but this post ain't about them.)

He uses his left hand to write and aim his gun and seems just as adept with using it as much as his right, which is cool. (There's no frame with both his face and the gun, so you'll have to trust me on that.)

Speaking of his hands

Look at this huge-ass man and his pinkies, I can't with this dude

Look at that smile, sir, who gave you the right

If there were a whole movie about just these two, I'd watch it, I won't even lie.

I've gone on about this guy for probably too long by this point, so to sum it all up:

Babygirl

[serpentface]

A kulustaig bull, the distinctive cattle landrace of the highlands.

Kulustaig have striking differences to other native cattle found across the Imperial Wardi claimed territory. Their aurochs ancestors were domesticated in a separate event from those found south of the Inner Seaways, and the broader cattle population kulustaig derived from may have trace bison genetics. The progenitors of this landrace were brought south across the Viper seaway by the ancestors of the contemporary Hill Tribes, and were gradually shaped into the kulustaig in adaption to the high altitudes, mild but dry summers, and cool/snowy wet seasons.

These cattle are mid-sized and stocky in build with large, broad faces, most distinguished by curly manes and 'beards' and thick, V-shaped horns. Genetically undiluted kulustaig are almost ubiquitously black, white, and/or gray, though breeding with other cattle has introduced a greater variety of coloration in contemporary stocks.

They are adapted to higher altitudes, having larger hearts and a bigger lung capacity than comparable lowland breeds, and grow thick, curly winter coats that allow for superior resistance to seasonally cooler temperatures. They can maintain condition on less food and lower-nutrition grasses than the average cattle, and are excellent instinctive foragers. This particular quality makes them attractive for crossbreeding efforts with cattle stock of the dry scrublands in the south of Imperial Wardin, though most of their other traits are highly unfavorable for hot, low altitude environments, and scrub-kulustaig hybrids with idealized traits are rare (and highly sought after as studs).

These are all-purpose cattle that can adequately fulfill roles as meat, draft, and dairy animals, though the latter role has the most importance in day to day life, and they show the most selection for milk production (though are not as high-yield as pure dairy breeds). Their meat is mostly lean and somewhat gamey, as they rely more on thick winter coats than fat stores to manage cold, and the vast majority subsist entirely on wild grasses and forage.

Most kulustaig have fairly calm, gentle temperaments, and accommodate well to human handling (it is not uncommon for cows and geldings to be passively ridden by herders otherwise traveling on foot). Their herds have strong, well defined, and stable dominance hierarchy structures, which reduces actual fighting and lends to them being more easily managed by their human herders. In most traditions, the dominant female in each herd is regarded as blessed by and belonging to the agricultural goddess Od, and will not be milked or slaughtered (this untouchable status is often maintained even if the cow's rank in the hierarchy is displaced, though traditions vary).

Bulls are almost ubiquitously given personal names by their owners (the honor often belonging to a family or clan's matriarch, who is generally considered the owner of the herd and other familial assets), while other traditions vary between just the bulls and dominant cows, personal favorites, or entire herds receiving names.

These cattle are of tremendous importance to the peoples of the highlands (particularly tribes and/or individual clans living above the river valleys, who fundamentally rely upon them for subsistence). They provide much of the meat and dairy that the core diet revolves around, and are the greatest measure of wealth within the highlands. Non-native cattle can be commonly found in parts of the highlands in the contemporary (and may be bred in to impart unique qualities to established stock, such as improved milk production or fattier meat), but kulustaig are typically prized above all the rest. These cattle are often a source of great pride for individual clans, and one of few agreed upon markers of shared identity and pride for all of the collective Hill Tribes.

Cattle raiding is a near-ubiquitous practice (both as a practical resource acquisition, and a less immediately lethal method of settling larger disputes than open warfare), and most cattle will be branded with a mark identifying their owning clan as a method of dissuading theft (often futile, particularly given cattle marked as belonging to certain wealthy clans may be especially prized). Nose rings are commonly used to assist in the handling of bulls, but have secondary protective functions that lend to their common use in even the most docile of cattle. Rings are usually blessed or have spells woven into their making as a supernatural barrier against theft, or against malicious (or at least devious) mountain spirits such as tiirgranul (who take pleasure in frightening cattle (and their herders) and are known to cause stampedes) or wildfolk (who are known to sometimes steal or curse cattle when offended, or just bored).

The word kulustaig derives from the common word 'taig'/'taigr', which refers to cattle in the contemporary languages of both the Hill Tribes and Finns, and the 'kul' root (heavily antiquated and not used in contemporary speech, most commonly recognizable in the name of the kulys plant), which has connotations of hardiness/robust qualities. The name would have derived from complimentary descriptions of the animals as 'the best and most robust of cattle'.

[milkymarble]

land of honey

here is an ode to all those south of the mason-dixon line, on either side of the grand mississippi

i like the taste of wild honeysuckle, smell of maturing magnolias. there's warm spring days, with rolling thunderstorms at night, sidewalks still wet the next morning

there's ladies with big hair, bigger weddings, inviting half the town to watch them say "i love you i do I'll always love you"

neighbors gossip, hushed whispers and giggles, i like small talk with people in line at the grocery store, asking if they like that brand of bug spray

a cacophany of cicadas at night, whippoorwills and chick-a-dee-dee-dees, lullabies of croaking bullfrogs

i like faded churches on the side of single lane roads, you know they used to be just one big dusty room and i guess they always will be

i like red crosses and soup kitchens, storm shelters and booster drives

thanks for the casserole when my aunt died

i like peach cobbler, chess pie, country fried steak, loads of butter and eggs and flour and sugar

tea so sweet your mouth puckers, boiled peanuts sold from the side of the road, only $1.50 and you get free directions to the waterfall

i even like the people who hunt, i do. especially the ones who use all of the animal, who thank the deer for passing quickly and for gifting them a glorious dinner

the people who give antlers to their dogs

i like old women with hair so white its blue, with a smoker's rasp, with metallic lipstick and starched blouses, patent leather shoes and big red pocketbooks

i like driving through marshes and fields, cow pastures and blue ridge mountains, creeks falling to forests growing to gardens

i like square dancing, and slow dancing even more, and the little dark raves tucked in corners of empty downtowns filled with everyone like you

i like bluegrass and blues, jazz on corners in the french quarter, zydeco in acadiana, yes even country, i like singing country songs on the porch

i like slow guitar and crooning melodies of heartbreak and first love, of missing mom and hating dad

i like old faded trucks, the ones low to the ground without big engines, i like train tracks overrun with weeds

i like mardi gras, flashing beads thrown in smoky air, feathered up floats, stereos turned loud

i like the hundreds of peachtree streets and dozens of martin luther king jr. boulevards

there's buford highway, where you can eat food from every corner of the globe and still be right at home

pass by billboards in korean, spanish, english, all in three square miles

i like drag queens in sunday best, the same florals my grandmother likes

i like straw hats and creased-up boots, i like paper fans exchanged from hand to hand

i like hearing "yall stay safe now" i like how everyone is honey and baby and sweetheart, even if you've never met

i love you trailer park beauties

stay true, hillbilly rednecks

[dustedmagazine]

Being Dead — EELS (Bayonet)

Photo by Athan Smith

Coming at you like a cow punk Mamas and Papas from space, Being Dead sound confidently themselves on EELS. Core duo Falcon Bitch and Shmoofy (the artist FKA Gumball) are joined by bassist/vocalist Nicole Roman-Johnston on another exuberant excursion along the backroads of popular music. Building on their debut When Horses Would Run, the trio have tightened their harmonies without losing the chaotic energy that makes their albums such fun. Combining elements of punk, Americana, exotica and pre-rock popular music within and between songs, the trio manage to corral their catholic tastes into an alternative mythology of the American Dream. It’s a vision that embraces and subverts the fairytales and epics we tell ourselves about who we are and how we celebrate it. From odes to Godzilla to nuanced reflections about life, love, and work, Being Dead’s lyrics embrace the paradoxes and complexity of their music to present a worldview that mirrors the confusion of the times. They also skewer the monolithic self-belief of the convinced with humor and a refreshing candor about their own contradictions. 

Opening with the chugging guitars and drums of “Godzilla Rises,” Shmoofy and Falcon exchange then share lines, building from slightly off-key before aligning into three-part harmonies with Johnston. “Van Goes” follows a similar pattern as the they dissect the absurdity of the 9 to 5 routine. So far so good. Things start getting interesting with “Blanket of my Bone” on which they intersperse twangy shouting with angelic verses that sound like Rosemary Clooney fronting The Jayhawks before casually throwing in a wavering mellotron into the outro. There’s rough acoustic balladry on “Dragons II” which wittily destroys the Prince Charming fantasy, before regretfully observing “There’s no one to rely on/There’s no map left to guide us.” The B-52’s like romp of “Ballerina” ends with a hoe-down worthy but ironic shout out to Texas. “Rock n’ Roll Hurts” is the Dadaist center of EELS. Echoing “We Are Being Dead” from their first album, the trio chant the title but can’t help but break the fourth wall, dissolving into giggles at the absurdity of it all.

Being Dead are very much alive. Messy, expansive, full of contradictions, sharp turns, and a joie de vivre that wants to experience and express everything at once. They are also endlessly inventive and engaging, their effortless melding of styles held together by glorious harmony and complete assurance.

Andrew Forell

[piotrtymcio]

Poidło

Canon EOS M100, EF-M22mm f/2 STM

[EN] This snow didn’t last long, but I managed to take plenty of photos. This week, however, my efforts haven’t been as fruitful. Here’s something that has always fascinated me in some way—a common method of watering cattle I often come across. An old bathtub. Why throw it away? You can place it in a field and use it to water animals. Occasionally top it up from a tanker, and every so often make a trip to refill the tanker.

When I was very little, my paternal grandparents lived in the countryside. What trips those were! The bus only went so far, and from there, you had to walk a certain distance. That distance felt monstrous to me back then, but in reality, it was only about two kilometers. The views were breathtaking—hills, valleys, dense forests. Today, I laugh at myself when I think about it. Only the forest still impresses me. I must have been four or five years old. I don’t even remember exactly when my grandparents moved. I think they were already living in the city by the time I started kindergarten. I remember my parents constantly warning me not to touch the electric fences around the fields. They told stories of parents who tried to rescue their electrocuted children, only to be killed themselves. A lesson in electrical conductivity. It wasn’t just a scare tactic. Many farmers back then, including my grandfather, I believe, ran electricity directly from the socket. 220V, and that was that.

Anyway, we were always greeted by a metal gate with diagonal crossbars. That’s stuck in my mind as a visualization of Sundays. I had such associations. Mondays, on the other hand, brought to mind the radio frequency dial on the popular Kasprzak radio. But that’s another story... Exploring the farm was an adventure like no other. Cows, chickens, pigs. A horse! The horse was named Bułan. I even had the chance to ride him—with adult supervision, of course. If Bułan was harnessed to a cart, I was allowed to drive it myself. Isn’t that cool? It was for me. Just like the time I found an old motorcycle in the hayloft! In fact, there were plenty of such treasures scattered across the farm—old rakes, mowers, and other equipment. It was so much fun! Climbing onto the seat of one of these machines and pretending to drive. Or wrestling with a lever trying to lift the rake tines.

You can tell I got a bit carried away, can’t you? I could go on forever. About mushroom-picking trips. About battling a rooster with a stick. About treasures in the attic! About the neighbor’s daughter, whose family didn’t get along with my grandparents. About climbing onto the shed roof. The more I write, the more I remember. Yes, it was a very happy early childhood. At least in hindsight. If I had any bad memories, I must have repressed them. I think without those experiences, my childhood would have been much poorer.

[PL] Ten śnieg leżał krótko ale zdążyłem narobić zdjęć. W tym tygodniu zaś, na razie, kiepsko mi to idzie. Tu rzecz która zawsze w jakiś sposób mnie fascynowała. To jedna z popularniejszych form pojenia bydła jaką spotykam. Stara wanna. Ot po co wyrzucać? Można postawić na pole i poić zwierzęta. Raz na jakiś czas dopuścić wody z cysterny. Trochę rzadziej zrobić kurs, w tą i z powrotem, aby napełnić cysternę wodą.

Jak byłem taki bardzo mały to moi dziadkowie od strony ojca mieszkali na wsi. Co to były za wycieczki? Autobus dojeżdżał tylko do pewnego miejsca. Dalej trzeba było przejść pewien dystans piechotą. Ta odległość wydawała mi się wtedy potworna. A w rzeczywistości to były ze dwa kilometry. Widoki zapierały dech w piersiach. Wzgórza, doliny. Gęsty las. Dziś się sam śmieje do siebie jak to widzę. Tylko las dalej robi wrażenie. Miałem wtedy kilka lat. Cztery? Pięć? Nie pamiętam nawet za dobrze kiedy dziadkowie się przeprowadzili. Wydaje mi się, że już w zerówce mieszkali w mieście. Pamiętam, że całą drogą rodzice napominali o niedotykanie pastuchów wokół pól. Opowiadali historie o rodzicach którzy chcieli ratować dzieci rażone prądem sami ginęli. Taka nauka o przewodnictwie prądu. To nie były strachy na lachy. Wielu gospodarzy w tamtym czasie, w tym i mój dziadek zdaje się, puszczało w obwód prąd z gniazdka. 220V i na razie.

W każdym razie witała nas zawsze metalowa brama ze skośnymi belkami na krzyż. To w mojej głowie utknęło jako wizualizacja niedzieli. Miałem takie skojarzenia. Poniedziałek przywoływał w głowie wskazówkę częstotliwości w radiu. Popularnym Kasprzaku. Nie o tym jednak... Buszowanie po gospodarstwie to była przygoda nieporównywalna z niczym. Krowy, kury, świnie. Koń! Koń nazywał się Bułan. Miałem okazję jeździć wierzchem - choć w asyście, asekurujących dorosłych. Jeśli zaprzęgnięto Bułana do wozu mogłem powozić samodzielnie. Czy to nie jest czad? Dla mnie był. Tak samo jak kiedyś w sianie w stodole odnalazłem stary motocykl! Z resztą takich sprzętów rozrzuconych po całym gospodarstwie było sporo. Jakieś stare grabarki i kosiarki. To była świetna zabawa! Wdrapać się na siodło takiego sprzętu i udawać, że się jedzie. Albo szarpać się z wajchą próbując podnosić pręty grabiące.

Widać, że się rozpisałem trochę, nie? Mógłbym bez końca. O wycieczkach na grzyby. O tym jak walczyłem z kogutem za pomocą kija. O skarbach na strychu! O córce sąsiadów z którymi dziadkowie się nie znosili. O wdrapywaniu się na dach szopy. Im więcej piszę tym więcej sobie przypominam. Tak. To było bardzo szczęśliwe wczesne dzieciństwo. Tak z perspektywy czasu. Jeśli miałem jakieś złe wspomnienia to je chyba wyparłem. Myślę, że gdyby nie to, to moje dzieciństwo byłoby znacznie uboższe.

[scattered-winter]

Oooh! For the ask game: 7, 8, and 44.

7: have any tattoos?

not yet </3

8: want any tattoos?

I want soooo many. I want the first few bars of ode to joy (my fav classical piece) tattooed. and I want a tattoo I can color in when I'm bored but I don't know what yet. and I want a tattoo of ruby rose's emblem from rwby. and I want a dragon. and I want space. and I want

44: random fact about anything:

cows chew their food by moving their jaws in a sideways motion because they have big dull teeth on the bottom and a dental plate on the top and the sideways chewing grinds up the food instead of mashing it up the way people do with the vertical chewing motion

ask game