#od drink with me
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Rules: put your music library on shuffle, then list the first five songs that come up in a poll to let people vote for their favourite!
Omg, thank you sm @octarineblues for tagging me, I'm always happy to be allowed to talk about music, ha.
Alright, let's see what we'll get!
and about the tags: @abignopefromme, @lunalunaris, feel free to join the game if you want, as well as anyone who stumbles upon this post by chance.
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Oh god, these are so random actually! But I'd say that I'm pretty happy with them, even though randomizing "Master of the house" out of all Les mis songs and aaaaaall the versions of them is... well... I don't even like this song that much.
I am however happy that "Tonight I Feel Like Kafka" found its way onto the list as it is one of my favourite songs ever!
Aannnnddd we also have a competitor from Poland - Lordofon!!
#poll#now here comes more of my opinions#get ready for a monologue#lets gooo#I love Florence + The Machine#especially but not only#dance fever#free is a banger#and so is king#and cassandra#and girls against god#les mis however#is probably my favourite musical#so its cool that its here#though i dont usually go around listening to the songs sung by the thenardiers for pleasure#dont get me wrong they are fun#but if they dont bring the spirit of the revolution into your heart#then whats the point#so i would usually do one day more#or red and black#od drink with me#or do you hear the people sing#or the finale epilogue or whatever its called in a given version#doomsday blue is quite random here#i dont really listen to bambi thug much#but my friend is a fan so#jealous of the birds!!!!#100% reccomend#i also love her mrs dalloway#but the parma violets album in general
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just finished malevolent relisten. needless to say the obsession has been rekindled tenfold its previous magnitude
#im so fucking isnane about this podcast#ok notable reactions:#john.. Oh my god. Itâs so insane to go back and hear how much heâs changed in the way he talks and reasons and treats arthur#i love you john doe malevolent#fav trans allegory ever!!!!!#definitely relate to him a normal amount (liar voice)#and then. S2. I really need to make that animatic with lonesome dreams#godddd i forgot how painful the ep18 divorce was#and then!!!! the canna mentions helping noel escape!!! completely forgot about that part#s3. oh my god. absolute fav season. soooo many crazy moments.#like coda??? âYou want him back.â âI want him safe.â You want him baaack.â âI want him backâ#KAYNE I FUCKING HATE THAT RAT BASTARD.NEED TO BASH HIS HEAD IN WITH A ROCK BUT HES A FREAK AND HED ENJOY IT SO I CANT#piece od shit#and then 23/24??????? arthurâs happy cry-laugh???? dead#part 25. âI killed myself. For a voice in my head. Do you know how mad that sounds?â what if IIII killed myself#26. god. Then 27. And 28. Literally my fav season ever#followed closely by s4#ohhhh my god i forgot how hot the butcher is like genuinely#i completely forgot prelude somehow???? giggling kicking my feet twirling my hair the whole time#i need to be this homicidal gay irishman hes so hot oh my god#the 29 divorce. with the movie lmaoo#i need to draw them going on a night out and seeing a movie and getting dinner and drinks and dancing and (gets shot)#gooddddd i remember listening to 31 for the first time and being so fucking confused#PART 33. HIT ME RIGHT IN THE EMOTIONS. OH MY GOD. BELLA SALTZMAN I COULDâVE TREATED YOU SO MUCH BETTER#34âŠ.. i canât speak about 34 without barking and howling like a rabid dog#dog. Is that a butcher refere(gets shot for the third time)#NOELLLLLL MY DARLING WIFE I LOVE HIM SO MUCH#this has just inspired me to keep writing hofth with ella tbh#lowkey donât even get the obsession with oscar tho i canât be talking#to each their own or whatever
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Yesterday we did a lil game thing with presents. Idk the name, but basically, everyone who played bought a random gift with a specific price. We each picked a a random one and unwrapped them when everyone got one. Then we got to swap them out at least 2 times before we couldn't anymore.
I got bathbombs and never had to swap :D
#oh#also#today i got a lil gift basket#it had stuff to like pamper myself with#and Russian tea stuff that can be made cold or warm. im drinking that later#it also had a note that made me cry coz how nice it was#od ratns
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somedays i snack after midnight and the world suddenly seems alright
#and by snack i mean actually snacking not the measly sad excuse of dinner#oh btw i am pretty sure i am currently drinking someone else's share od thumbs up and there is going to be a sib fight tomorrow#and i will pretend not to know anything because i never steal their stuff usually đ€#one no from me ane they'll be like yeah reasonable enough why do i like this idea sm currently#i need to sleep
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remember when i said i was posting the car sex like 3 hours ago
how was that 3 hours ago
where did they go cotton eye joe
anyway it's posted
#more tea. more tea is the answer.#it's that or more lemsip but it turns out it's actually possible to overdose on lemsip#which is wild to me it's like calpol for adults#uh anyway#i read packet warnings i promise#no but seriously time is insane#i think i've literally just spent 3 hours glaring at song lyrics and Not ODing on medicinal hot lemon drink#so it is decreed
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IF I DISAPPEAR OFF THE FACE OF TUMBLR IN A FEW HOURS AND DON'T RETURN THIS EVENING SLASH NIGHT ASSUME I HAVE FIED DIED THIS FEELS LIKE A VERY TEAL POSSIBILITY RIGHT NOW
#MY HANDS ARE SHAKING AND I SAW LIKE FOUR DOTS JUST SEIM AROUND MY VIDION#YES I DID SLEEP ONLY FIVE HOURS AND THEN DRINK AN ENTIRE CAN OF MONSTER TO SOMEHOW STAY AWAKE#IN MY DEFENSE OTHERWISE I WOULD HAVE SLEPT THROUGH THE LAST FRENCH LESSON BEFORE THE EXAM#BUT ALSO EVERY EINGLE VAD EFFECTNOF CAFFEINE HAS HIT ME I AM SHAKY AND ZHERE IS A FLUTTERING BALL OF ANCIETY IN MY CHEST#I HAVE REGREST#REGRETS#I ALSO STKLL HAVE TO PRACTICEE A SONG WITH ANOTHER GAL WHICH EELL PLAY IN FRONT OF KIKE EVERYONE#AND FOR SOME REAON I THIUGHT IT WAS A GOOD IDEA TO GO TO THAT ONE THEATRE ADAPTSTION AT OUR SCHOOL THIS EVENING#THERE IS SO MUCH HAPPENING#I AM STRESS AND SLEEP DEPRIVATION AND ANXIETY AND MOST OF THOSE IS BC OF CAFFEINE#THIS WAS A BAD IDEA#IG ANYONE KNOWS HOW TO FLUSH CSFFEINE OUT OD YOUR SYSTEM FAST ID APPPREAFIATE IT#BEFORE I VIBRATE INTO A SIXTH DIMENSIO INSGESD OF SLEEPING BEFORE THE EXAM#ANYWAY AS I SAID I HOPE I DONT DIE#HEART TOO FAST FEELS LIKE A REAL OPTION RN LMAO#SORRY OF THALL THE FAPSLOCK#FOR ALL THE CAPSLOCK#THIS IS FINE#a biscuit's rambles
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ââ sai liuko, âand if youâre the life of the party i am the deathâ
#original poem#poem by ME#i got published!#my first ever published poem ever#anyway i'm really proud. i was losing my mind when i was accepted#poetryblr#the end of the party#my slow ascent from alcoholism#my love letter to the person i was.#in my 20s#god i miss drinking (and yet i don't)#my#indie sleaze#phase#the vibe is also...#so happy i could die#you know how she sings I LOVE THAT LAVENDER BLONDE.#it's this.#oh also#ode to the dance floor#i literally lifted one line out of that song into this poem. that was the vibe
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HE STILL HASNT FUCKING LEFT I WAS SUPPOSED TO START HIS ROOM 40 FUCKING MINITES AGO
#i have an extremely fucking time sensitive room. i fucking missed it last week and im gonna miss it again bc im literally supposed to start#my lunch rn but i fucking cant and this room will be at least 20 fucking minutes If not the full 40#and thats only once he leaves. which he might just take another fuckjng hour ughhh#im fucking rly pissed off dude i was doing fucking perfect today#abd normally od just clena while theyre in there but this guy makes me rly uncomfortabel#bc he kept trying to get me to help him open a wine bottle for him and o was like I dont know how to do that and he made fun of me#and then he ivited a random other resident in WHILE I WAS FUCKING CLEANING abd they got the bottle open#and then he was trying to get me to drink with him#and i was like on the verge of tears im ngl bc i was so stressed . so i dont wanna clean with him in there#but i cant complain even tho they like Said you have to tell management if a resident acts inappropriately. and theres supposed to be no#retribution. but apparently last year a girl reported a resident flirting with her and everybody treated her like she was the worst person#ever. bc now the guy doesnt ever leave his room. and that girl had 2 quit#and im like ok. Kills my
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Trying to write characters who are drunk/high while having never drank or smoked before
#I am but a feeble looser#and cringefail teen with anxiety#I have never done the drug#or drank a drop of an alcoholic substance#how much does it take for a person to get drunk?#letâs say you are an underweight teenager#at a bar#drinking specifically whisky#how much before youâre drunk?#Iâm trying to write a fic#that involves a character being under the influence#I feel like this will be easier to research than suicide stuff tho#same character- trying to write a fic where he ODs#but I have never ODed or attempted to before#so like#what does he take? how much? what are the side effects? how to make him Not Die?#writing suicidal substance abusing criminals is hard#cause how tf do you research that?#how do I avoid getting put on a watch list?#writing#fanfic writing#writing help#please help me
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had this . one guy coming into work tn and . i didnt know what was in a baby guiness shot (its . not popular) and . the fucker made a joke that was smt hlike "so youll know whats in a vodka lime soda if i ask for one?" and i just . lost it im gonna be So Real
#like . i scrinched my face up and said 'ofc i kmow whats in a fuxking vodka kime soda. i know Basic drinks. im a bartender'#but it was so fucking snarky and rude and just ???? dude . what the fuck.#ive made One Baby Guiness in my Life .#ive only been baetending for 1.5yrs and 8mths od that has been Here .#like i know he was joking but . idk it was kinda fucminf iut of line in a way#n the fact that im . gking off memory n i cant rmb it entirely is not helping my case here either#exhibiting two different wounds bere wbat dk i do abt em .#fhck this i need a vacation i think . im gking to Lose It#anyway . i dont rlly rmb shots n cocmtials v well bc i dont Make Thm Often enough for me to#and im rlly notnfoijg out ifnmy way to learn them bc#i dont Care this isbt smth im gonna be doing#lingterm#idk what i wanna do while i figure iur how im gonna go to uni#but its not this i cant Do This#its Destroying me in so maby ways but irs sl subtly im fuckignfjgjgjggjg ok
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computer define underdog
#bluebird.txt#google search how to explode my brain with hammers to reset into a functional normal person#how fucking hadd is it to be perfect it's not that hard. you just have to do everything!#but you can never do everything. sometimes you can't even do one fucking thing.#and time moves forward so quickly. go back i didn't do it right. i need to try again. i can be perfect this time i promise.#and i can't but i can and then i can't again but i can't but i can't BUT ITS NOT THAT HARD#HOW HARD COULD IT POSISBLY FUCKING BE!!!!!!#just do it. it's not hard you can just od it. if's not rhat hRd.#JUST FUCKING DO IT#but you can't. even though it's so fucking easy. look at everyone around you doing it and they don't give half as many shits as you do#you're fighting for your fucking life tryi to come out on top and everyone's on too sipping their drinks complaining that it's a little hot#today#what i would give to feel like it was easy. what i constantly give that never feels like enough#but i will say#one of the nicest things anyone ever said to me#was my professor telling me ghat a grad student told her they wished they'd been like me when they were younger#and another two grad students just last week going out of their ways to tell me i did a good job#when that 'good job' felt so shitty i went to the bathroom to suck in my tears bc my day still wasn't fucking over#life is never over it just keeps going and you get up and you get up and you keep going and it's hard and annoying and i'll never be perfec#and i don't think i'll ever- apart from those brief glimpses people give me of what they truly think- ever see myself. i can only ever see#the mirror#or the inside of my eyes#but i'll never see myself as i am#so maybe i don't have to freak oht?#maybe i should just sleep#time to go listen to vienna and cry more maybe#i'm fine. i'm just tired and lazy and tirada en mi cama and can't reach my journal from here. el oh el.#save me help me. i want to feel peace. i can't wait to be older. i can't wait to find my way.#please.
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RAAAAAAAHHH CALC MIDTERM IN HALF AN HOUR AND I DOMT KNOW A SINGLE CONCEPT
#thats a lie i know on theory. but fuck i could not answer a problem. so.#im. going through it#i did use this as an excuse to by myself a drink though <3#ravi's randomness#FUCK integrals and odes and whatever the fuck calculus is#bring me back to simple derivatives...
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Me: I'm doing so good, great even, never better
Me after I filled out a form for genetic testing: Hopefully I've got a testable version of stretchy joint syndrome, so just select all that apply.. Jesus fucking christ how many things are actually wrong with me that I've just been fucking ignoring??
#personal#i wish i was kidding#joint dislocations#random sudden hearing loss#lazy eye#seizures due to asphyxiation and caffeine OD#struggles swallowing#i can choke on mf air and spit and if it aint gotta straw ima choke while i drink it#piezogenic papules ARENT SUPPOSED TO HURT APPARENTLY#the 80% of yall pain free fuckers make me so mad at my body#random sight blurriness and jerking#theres more but im running out of room#THIS BITCH IS BUSTED UP đ#thats not even getting into the mental problems đ„Č#Found out the seizure I had during work training was an atonic drop seizure so learned a new word i guess
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let me drown
you meet qimir for a morning swim (qimir x fem!reader)... because i couldn't be normal about that scene.
warnings: 18+, minors and ageless blogs dni, an ode to manny jacinto's collarbones and also his shoulders and arms, slightly painful sex (but like... in a hot and consensual way), possessiveness, pwp basically (wc: 800+)
Droplets of water pool in the hollow of his collarbone, running down his broad shoulders in rivulets, shimmering in the morning sun like jewels, as Qimir cuts through the water. His muscled arms effortlessly slice into the still surface, sending ripples in every direction.
He looks ethereal, swimming in the cerulean pool. A long forgotten sea god, waiting to hook you by the ankle and drag you below the surface, drown you and breathe new life into you at the bottom of the sea.
It's beautiful and frightening in equal measures.
You wait on the shore, seawater lapping at your ankles and bare feet, arms around your knees, ignoring the puddling water that's soaking through your bottoms.
You wait for him to notice you there.
He doesn't keep you waiting â or maybe, Qimir sensed your presence from the moment you'd stepped onto the shore, from the moment your eyes had opened in the cave and looked for him, finding him gone.
A suspicion that's confirmed when Qimir lifts his gaze, unsurprised, sweeping escaping strands of damp hair from his face, and calls out softly, "Aren't you going to join me?"
His voice. You love his voice, as smooth as the surface of the water lapping at his strong shoulders, as the salt-licked rocks on the shore and the cliffs, as the weather-beaten pebbles that dig into your soles as you stand.
You undo the robe in a smooth motion and let it fall from your shoulders, baring yourself to him in the morning light, and Qimir doesn't look away.
He catches his lip between his teeth, dragging his gaze down your naked form, drinking you in with a kind of possessiveness that feels heretical; coveting you without so much as laying a finger on you, owning you with his dark eyes.
You wade in, and Qimir drifts toward you, moving silently and swiftly, predator-like.
An uneven rock catches on your foot under the surface, sending you forward. You tumble into him with a soft curse, and Qimir catches your arms with wet hands, steadying you, guiding your hands to his shoulders.
Flexing your fingers is almost an instinct, searching for a hold, like scaling a cliff, digging in to the muscles, and Qimir shudders, long lashes brushes against his cheeks, inclining his head to meet your gaze.
"Careful," Qimir cautions, soft and honeyed, a kind of music, and you don't know if Qimir means to be careful with the rocks or with your wandering hands.
You gamble on the former and let them wander further, moving over him, mapping him like an uncharted planet. One of your arms slips around his neck, giving him your weight, and Qimir's hand slips under your knee to catch you.
His hand is rough, guiding your leg around his hip, finding a balance.
He is pressed up against you now, cock hardening against your stomach. An involuntary gasp escapes from your mouth, and Qimir nips at the sound, sucking at your lip, beads of seawater dripping from his mouth into yours.
"Careful," Qimir repeats, only this time, it sounds like a question.
Should I be careful? Do you want me to be?
You shake your head slowly, a fine mist of salt water blowing in from the sea, coating your lashes, and Qimir's lips part in a half smile, pleased.
He's not careful. Careful is gentle caresses and the press of his mouth between your legs, warming you from the inside out, drinking from you like a nectar.
This isn't careful.
He doesn't get you ready, doesn't warm your cunt with his fingers, doesn't press you open in increments. He invites your legs around his hips, grasping at your ass with one hand for leverage, and pushes into you in one long and interrupted stroke that knocks the breath from your lungs, knocks your bones from your body.
You press your face into his shoulder, biting down with a whimper, probably leaving marks. That's okay. He likes marks, likes the feeling of your nails dragged down his back.
You're at war with yourself, split in the same way that Qimir is splitting you in half with his cock; a need to squirm away from the overpowering sensation; a need to invite him deeper, harder, faster.
He makes a soothingâ borderline mocking â sound against your cheek and strokes your hair back from your wet cheeks; and holds you there, pinned open for him, fluttering and adjusting to the size of his cock.
"Oh? How does it feel?" Qimir asks, still stroking your cheeks.
"Good."
He smiles and lifts your chin with his knuckles and drinks a salt water kiss from your lips. "Good. You're ready for more."
It's not a question.
Seawater runs down your stinging cheeks, sensitive from the stubble on his carved jawline, mixing with the moisture that streams from the corners of your eyes as Qimir finally moves inside of you, dragging his cock out and pushing back in with a sweet and lethal slowness that borders on painful, so controlled; reaching inside and unraveling you from a place so deep that no one else could ever hope to uncover it; no one but him.
He likes it that way. Just him.
#listen... i don't even know and i have work in like six hours#iâll fix any mistakes in the morning gn#qimir fic#laracrofted writes
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clenching my head and banging it repeatedly against a wall.
#i have enoufh dope to overdose i wish i wasnt afucking coward#feeling this way all because od some bullshit..... when will it end#everydya i ask myself. why didnt my mom drink MORE when she ws pregnant with me so i would have been stillborn#mikhail's texts
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Can I interest anyone in a wee bit of frenemy(?)eddie and some soft confessions while under the influence?
18+, MDNI 2.2k
cw: drug use (edible)
âOh, wow. Sheâs really out.â
Nancy wasnât wrong, but Eddie didnât need to be told. He had noted your rapid descent into sleep when it started halfway through the movie. Your eyelids fluttering like they had weights attached to them and your body curling into itself as you sank into the cushions of the Wheelerâs sofa.
You were crumpled in a ball at the end of it now, hugging the arm like you thought you were going to roll off the edge of a cliff if you let go. Your half-drunk beer still sat on the end table, abandoned once the edible you split with Argyle took effect.
Eddie had foolishly tried to warn you off it, saying you should start with half of your half and go from there. But of course that only set the two of you off like a pair of dueling firecrackers.
He didnât know how he kept ending up in these spats with you. He never intended to insult you, it just seemed he had a real knack for it. You always accused him of babying you and heâd accuse you of being too stubborn for your own good.
Had anyone besides Eddie suggested you take it easy, you probably would have listened and might still be conscious right now.
Nancy jostled you gently, trying to rouse you while Eddie peered over her shoulder. He didnât care for the lifeless way your limbs hung, for the way your head lolled forward on your shoulders like you couldnât hold it up yourself.
It made his fingers drum nervously on the outside edge of his thigh and the wallet chain that hung there clinked with each and every irregular tap.
Of course he knew there was logically no way you could OD on a pot brownieâbut that didnât mean he delighted in seeing you so incapacitated.
Eyes shut tight, you started babbling softly in response to Nancyâs voice as she tried to draw you back to the world of the waking. With a soft oof, she got you to put one arm around her neck and attempted to lift you off the couch. But even with the deceptive strength of her slight frame, she wasnât getting you anywhere by herself.
So, she glanced around the room at the rest of their friends in their various states of intoxication.
Steve and Robin were long gone, Robin being the winner of their coin toss for who got to drink that night while the other stayed sober. Sheâd skipped on the edible and mainlined strawberry daiquiris instead, leading to her calling out forlornly as Steve helped drag her out the door,
âWhat if I puke pink? Please, please, please, donât let me puke pinkââ
Argyle and Jonathan were passed out, entwined on the pallet of blankets and pillows on the floor, Jonathan likely not realizing the warm chest he was burying his face in wasnât his girlfriendâs.
Finally, her determined gaze fell to Eddie, and she tilted her head at him in that Nancy way of herâs that gave out marching orders without her so much as speaking a word. With another glance at your sleeping form, Eddie released a resigned sigh and nodded his head.
As they helped you climb the stairs, one arm slung over each of their shoulders, you started to rouse again and slowly registered what was happening through the fog of your high.
âAww, shitâŠmâfucked up, huh?â you chuckled, letting out a heavy sigh. âMâso sorry, Nance, I shouldnât haveâŠhe was rightâŠagainâŠâ
The bitter edge in your voice as the last word left your lips made Eddieâs brow jump with interest. You lifted your head the full two inches you could manage and peered at Nancy through half-lidded eyes. Your head then swiveled to the other side and Eddie braced himself for more vitriol.
But none came.
Your face didnât even change and Eddie realized your current state made he and Nancyâs mops of messy brown curls somewhat indistinguishable. You just continued on like you were still talking to your best friend, not the guy you couldnât stand.
âWheeler, youâre a fucking beast, you know that? Youâre so strongâŠâ
The loopy giggle you let out brought a smile to Eddieâs lips in spite of himself. He felt your hand start to curl around his shoulder and it made him tense, worrying youâd recognize the rough denim of his vest. But your fingers simply held it, rubbed the frayed hem of his cut-off sleeve between the pads, your sleepy smile re-forming.
âGod, Nance, you smell so goodâŠâ
Your head suddenly drooped, landing partially on Eddieâs shoulder and making his breath catch.
You took a deep inhale of his scent, your chest expanding with it and making Eddieâs eyes bulge and then avert quickly when he caught himself ogling the deep scoop of your neckline. He had already committed most of the night to avoiding just that, his eyes justâŠslipped for a second.
Over your head, he caught Nancyâs gaze and the cloudy blue color might as well have been a bright red laser for how clearly she saw through him.
Thankfully, they got to the guest room before she could make any damning remarks. She pushed open the door and flicked on the bedside lamp, illuminating a bed piled obscenely high with pillows and a down comforter seemingly thicker than some mattresses Eddie had slept on.
âCan you hold her?â Nancy asked, looking from the bed back to him.
His throat bobbed with a harsh swallow and he nodded, only half-sure of his answer. Nancy lifted your other arm from her shoulder and turned you into his body. Your other arm wrapped around his neck, your head resting on his shoulder.
His hands wrapped hesitantly around your back, holding you against him almost like you were slow dancing. He had to resist the urge to sway.
Heart thundering so loud he feared it might wake you, Eddie watched while Nancy pushed all of the decorative pillows to the floor and turned down the comforter, motioning Eddie forward.
He walked you backwards a few steps and sat you down on the edge of the bed while Nancy knelt to take off your shoes. Thankfully, the dress code on movie night was always supremely casual and the track pants and tank top youâd worn would be fine to sleep in.
You babbled a bit more as they got you ready for bed, seemingly oblivious to Eddieâs presenceâeven mentioning him briefly as they helped you lay flat and Nancy lifted your legs onto the bed.
âHeâs just so annoying, you know?â you muttered bitterly. âLike, whatever, youâre hot and you play guitar and youâve banged like half the town. That doesnât mean you know everything.â
Eddie tried not to let the words sting. It wasnât anything you hadnât said before to his face, but there was something about you still saying it, even when he âwasnât thereâ to hear it.
Apparently it wasnât just an act.
âIâm gonna get water,â Nancy whispered, already out the door. âJust keep an eye on her, please?â
Eddie frowned and grumbled in response, but he didnât move from his spot beside you. He did start to turn away, but stopped when you shifted in the bed. You reached out a limp hand and caught just the tips of Eddieâs fingers, tugging lightly on them like you wanted to tell him something.
He sank slowly to his knees, trying to hear you as your lips moved almost mutely.
âShouldâve listened,â you muttered. âShouldnâtâve been such a dickâŠâ
You seemed perfectly content continuing your conversation even without âNancyâ responding, and Eddie wondered if he should just go? He was positive youâd be mortified if you ever found out he had overheard any of this. But even as he was screaming at his feet to move, for his knees to rise, they remained planted on the Wheelerâs plush carpeting at your next words.
âNanceâŠwhy doesnât he like me?â
It took what felt like a year for Eddie to unfreeze. He looked towards the door for a sign of Nancyâs shadow in the hallway, the sound of her footsteps on the stairs. But there was none.
Your head lolled on the pillow, eyes still shut but the lids twitching subtly like you were trying to open them. If you did, youâd be staring straight into Eddieâs own rapt gaze. You still held your pitifully weak grasp on his fingers, and he easily could have pulled away. But he didnât.
Eddie just watched, torn between his standards of decency and being desperate to find out what you were talking about. He didnât even know you were into anyoneâlet alone that you liked them enough to groan about them to Nancy. What kind of idiot wouldnât like you back?
Some sadistic part of him wanted to find out.
âI mean, I know Iâm notâmânot likeâŠChrissyâbut Iâm alright, arenât I? Anâ I wore thisstupid booby shirt hoping heâd notice and he justâŠâ
Your voice took on a wounded waver and you stopped, inhaling deeply as if to steady yourself. The beginnings of tears started to shimmer along your lash line and you shut your eyes tighter, but it only squeezed one of them out and made it trickle down your temple in a wet trail.
OkayâŠEddie was really confused now.
He didnât even know you knew his ex-girlfriendâs name until it came tumbling past your lips. And he sure as shit had so noticed your booby shirtâheâd barely been able to keep his eyes off you, had to actively force himself not to stare.
Had you actuallyâŠdid you really wear it for him?
All of a sudden, you rolled onto your side and your eyes cracked open the widest he had seen them all night. You looked almost lucid and you were staring directly into Eddieâs face.
He flinched slightly, worried you might scream when you saw him. But you just sighed, scanning his features all glassy and moon-eyed as you stared at him plainly. Unabashedly.
Like heâs an oil painting that couldnât look back.
âHeâs just soâŠpretty.â
The words are whispered, like a secret. And it takes everything in him to remain totally still and not to let his eyes bug completely out of his skull. Wait, did youâŠDid you not think he was there?
âI likeâim so muchâŠwhatâm I gonna do?â
There it was again. That plaintive whine, that broken lilt of your voice that tugged mercilessly at something deep inside of him. Heartstrings he didnât know were there until you plucked them.
You looked at him with those shiny eyes. Literal tears were filling them now, threatening to spill down your cheeks. You were crying. Over him? What kind of world was he living in?
And nearly too late, Eddie realized your eyes were fluttering closed again. Not from exhaustion, but to lean in and kiss him.
It all seemed to happen in slow motion. You stretched your neck forward, hand coming up to cup his jawâgod, your palms were so soft, not rough and hard like hisâand Eddie felt himself melt briefly into your touch, just for a moment before he realized what you were doing.
Eyes closing, chest heaving, lips parting as you leaned into what you thought was a dream.
No, no, no, he thought frantically. Not like thisâ
Eddie wrapped his hand around your wrist and gently pulled away from you. It made you push a little harder, trying to fight your way out of his grasp, but you were weak and looked more like a kitten trying to box. He didnât know what to do, he didnât want you to get upset, he justâ
âHey,â he soothed, gently brushing the backs of his fingertips along your jaw. âJust go to sleep, okay? We can talk about this in the morning.â
You blinked, seemingly in realization, like you were surprised to hear him speak. And it made him wonder how many of your other dreams heâd starred in where he didnât say a word.
But his voice seemed to soothe you somewhat, your fists unclenching and dropping to lay on the softness of the sheets. You nodded your head as your face sunk back into the pillow, your cheek rubbing the dainty floral bouquets on the case.
Eddie let out the breath he didnât remember he was holding, his shoulders slumping with it as his mind raced. Carefully, with nimble fingers curled around the edge of the comforter, he tugged it up further over your shoulders, almost to your chin. You snuggled a little deeper into your sleep and Eddie tucked the blanket in a little tighter, his heart pounding with every second.
And before he could talk himself out of it, he dropped a feather-light kiss to your forehead.
Once in a while we have to do the pining, I guess đ
Very veeeeeeeeeery loosely inspired by that scene in New Girl where Jess is on painkillers. Ty for reading - love you, mean it!
#eddie munson#eddie munson x you#eddie munson x reader#eddie munson x female reader#eddie munson fanfiction#eddie munson fluff#eddie munson blurb#eddie munson fanfic#eddie stranger things
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