#oc: Reagan | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dioles-writes · 5 months ago

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"SLIPPING THROUGH MY FINGERS"

Masterlist | Credits go to @jiphenn | Characters: Reagan (she/her), Felix (he/him)

“Felix?”

Reagan hesitated at her brother’s door, body leaned up against the frame. He was sprawled out on his bed, homework strewn across the messy sheets - although the pages were practically blank, his phone at his ear instead as he grinned at whatever the person on the other line was saying.

“Yeah, one sec.” He said into the phone, glancing up to her with an irritated look.

She seemed to be getting that look a lot these days.

Ever since school started it was like Felix couldn’t stand to sitting in the same room as her. Although it was barely even November yet, he had already gotten into probably what was hundreds of fights. It seemed like he couldn’t keep himself from getting into trouble for more than a day, with the amount of calls from the school she had been getting. The beginning of the year had been brutal. Every single day there was some sort of fist fight Felix had gotten himself into, leading to multiple detention slips and trips to the nurse’s office. His face had practically become permanently swollen. Not to mention his behaviour change at home. He was more standoffish and argumentative. They’d gotten into more fights themselves just the past few months alone than they had in the entire year. It was like he was an entirely new person.

Reagan had done her best to write it off as stress from the new school year, especially because this was his first time at Diantha Rose, but deep down she knew that wasn’t it.

Felix told her pretty much everything. The kids in his classes, stupid fights that he’d won, his new girlfriends and boyfriends, drama at school, or even supposedly cruel teachers that were, in his words, “totally unfair and just jealous of my pure talent”. She couldn’t remember a time when they hadn’t shared everything with each other. But now, ever since school started, it felt like pulling teeth, trying to get Felix to talk to her.

He’d suddenly just pulled away; he spent his nights after school holed up in his room, doing who knows what, his voice muffled through the door as he laughed with his friends. Not like before - where he’d swing into the kitchen with a grin, plopping his backpack down on the table with a thump before stealing a pastry from the rack, fresh. He’d laugh as she swatted his hands away, shoving it into his mouth and going on to tell her all about his day.

He just seemed so much… colder now. It was as if there were a million miles separating the two of them; like they were apart of entirely different worlds.

“Well?” Felix’s voice came abruptly, pulling Reagan from her spiralling thoughts. He cocked an eyebrow at her, impatient. “What is it?”

Reagan sat down on the edge of his bed, patting her knees hesitantly. “Can I talk to you? It’ll only take a second, I promise.” She gave him a small smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t keep you from your friends for too long.”

Felix rolled his eyes before turning back to his phone. “I’ll be right back.” He said with a huff of very obvious annoyance before tossing his phone down on his sheets.

His screen flashed up at her: The profile picture of a boy with fluffy peanut-coloured hair, fair skin, pastel purple-and-mint green eyes, and a wide smile, his face adorned with beauty marks.

July Roberts.

It seemed all the problems they had been having started with him. Ever since Felix had become friends with the mysterious Board Game Club leader, everything had fallen apart.

At first, Reagan had been over the moon, hearing Felix was finally starting to make friends.

He’d always been shut off from the idea. Sure, he kept a few people around him at school to keep him company, but it was never a real friendship. He never went to sleepovers, or parties, or hung out with anyone outside of school. For as long as she could remember, he’d just been so lonely. Reagan would have done anything to get him to be a regular kid, to just go out and have fun. All she had ever wanted was for him to finally experience the world in the way she was never able to.

Now he was finally going out. He even had a whole new group of friends. The Board Game Club. He could barely be seen at home, always running out with one of his newfound friends, off doing whatever it was they did. He even started going to actual sleepovers. For all of Reagan’s prays and pleading over the years, he seemed to be fitting in, finally allowing himself to enjoy this school.

That fact should’ve been enough to ease her worries, but Reagan could never stop herself from stressing herself half to death. Something just felt so utterly wrong about the whole Board Game Club situation. Coming from a kid who had only made two friends in the past eleven years, one of them who Reagan wasn’t even sure properly liked him, it was a goddamned miracle. And in such a short amount of time, too. Reagan was happy for him, of course she was. She’d always be happy if he was happy. But something wasn’t right about it. The Board Game Club members being sort of strange themselves wasn’t helping her suspicions, she was sure. Especially after finding out one of them was a Diole.

It was just a coincidence. Had to be a coincidence. Dioles existed, he was going to end up meeting them. The fact that the two of them had become friends was nothing more than a coincidence. She wouldn’t allow it to be anything more than that. There was no reason for her to worry about it.

Still…

Reagan sighed. She was getting too wrapped up in her thoughts again, allowing herself to get pulled away, distracted from the real reason she had come in here in the first place. She turned her attention back onto Felix.

“You’ve been using your powers?” She asked after a long pause, praying this question was in safe territory, that it wouldn’t result in another blowup where she inevitably would lose her temper and say all the wrong things to him.

Felix’s eyes flickered away from her face, as he suddenly became very interested with a loose thread on his blanket, expression turning from bored to uncomfortable. Before she had even asked the question, she knew that would happen. Anything to do with Dioles made him fidgety, especially any mention of his powers. It was a fact Reagan knew deep down, she was at fault for, with all her worrying about him getting caught or exposed. She knew she probably only made it worse for him, terrifying him to even dare use his powers, but a part of her was relieved he was so scared. Fear meant safety. If he didn’t use his powers, he couldn’t get caught. If he didn’t use his powers, she couldn’t lose him.

But now, a new emotion lingered in his eyes. Something that was akin to… shame. “A little,” he grunted, still refusing to look up. “Only sometimes.”

Felix’s look of absolute crushing guilt wasn’t helping Reagan to feel any better. Neither was his refusal to meet her gaze.

“Why’s that?” She pressed, trying to keep her tone light. Anything to keep him from exploding on her. She gave him a gentle smile, allowing him to go on, despite her urge to yell and demand him to tell her why he’d been acting so strange lately.

“Dunno.” He mumbled, running his fingertips along the wrinkles of the blanket, enraptured. “Just felt like it.”

It didn’t take a genius to see that was a lie. One thing Reagan could always count on was how terrible of a liar Felix was. Sometimes she wondered how the two of them hadn’t been caught yet, because her brother couldn’t tell a lie to save his life. He had just about a million tells: the way his posture had gone stiff, his fidgeting hands he just couldn’t seem to keep still, his refusal to look her in the eye. There was something else he was hiding.

Reagan hummed. “That’s it?”

Felix gave her a little scoff of protest, turning towards her, his eyes flickering vaguely in her direction. “I don’t know, Rea,” He said. “I haven’t been as scared of them anymore. I like using them.”

Reagan scanned his face. There seemed to be some truth to it, she thought. But he was so obviously hiding something from her. The secret he refused to blurt hung between them, turning the air thick, making it almost unbearable. The silence stretched on, the two siblings stuck in a game of seeing who would break it first, Reagan’s eyes fixed onto Felix, while the boy stared down at an empty spot on his floor instead.

“Okay.” Reagan finally broke the tense silence, forcing herself to smile again. The idea of Felix using his powers more just about terrified her to death - it was just another way he could get caught, another way he could get hurt - but she forced herself to keep all of her worries to herself. She couldn’t deal with another fight right now. “As long as you’re safe.”

Reagan grabbed his hand, gently holding it in hers. “You’re being safe, right?” She asked, unable to keep the anxiety out of her voice.

Felix stared at his hand in hers, the emotion in his eyes suddenly unreadable. “Yes Reagan,” He said. “I’m being safe.”

“You’re being careful?” Reagan asked again, slowly rubbing her thumb atop his knuckles. Anything to soothe her worries.

“Yes Reagan.” He answered again, but despite it, he didn’t sound as annoyed as before. His voice had softened, just slightly.

“Okay, okay. As long as you’re being safe.” Reagan said, still desperately trying to convince herself. “Just, remember to be careful, okay? Try not to use them too much; even if you’re only doing it around the house, it’s still dangerous. I don’t want you getting hurt.” She gave his hand a gentle squeeze. “I can’t lose you.”

Felix met her gaze. His mouth parted slightly, and for a second it was almost as if he was about to admit what was really bothering him so much. Reagan could feel it, that distance between them, it closed for just a second, and it was almost like before, before they moved, before Felix met July Roberts, before everything started going downhill.

But as soon as it started, it ended. Felix’s eyes hardened and he looked away again, pulling his hand from hers. “It’s fine Reagan.” He said dismissively. “You worry too much.”

In an instant, that coldness was back.

Reagan blinked back tears that suddenly sprang up. Sometimes she really hated herself for it, her inability to go a single conversation without tearing up a little bit. She forced herself to give him an empty smile, anything to avoid a fight. “I guess you’re right. I just can’t help it.” She chuckled.

She stood up, rubbing her hands along her pants. “Well, I’m gonna get started on supper now. Remember to actually work on your homework, not just talk on the phone, huh?” She said, flicking Felix playfully.

Felix snorted and rolled his eyes. “He’s helping me.”

Reagan laughed. “Uh huh. Sure.”

A part of her wondered if this was just how it was going to be. Felix was sixteen now, as much as Reagan didn’t want to believe it. He was growing up, becoming his own person. He didn’t need her as much anymore. A part of Reagan knew this would eventually happen, Felix was a teenager after all, he was slowly going to become more interested in his friends than his parents, he was going to want to spend more time out. This was good. It was what she had wanted all along, wasn’t it? But she hadn’t expected it to happen so… soon.

It was like yesterday that he was only six years old, grinning at her from the backseat of her beat up old truck and singing along to the song playing on her iPod, grinning happily at their “new adventure” as Reagan pulled out of the driveway to their abuela’s estate. Not a worry in the world.

Reagan couldn’t believe it had really been ten years since that day already.

She didn’t want for the two of them to grow apart. She had thought they were different, they were closer than that. She didn’t want things to change, she wanted Felix to still be able to rely on her, to tell her about his worries, about what he was truly feeling. She didn’t want to lose him too, didn’t know what she’d do if she did.

Despite her instinct to press him further, to push him to open up, to find out the truth about July Roberts, she walked towards the door, for once giving him space. Still, she couldn’t hold back the wave of lingering sadness that washed over her at it.

Felix really was growing up. And soon, he wouldn’t need her at all.

“I’m not going to get caught. This time’s going to be different.” Felix suddenly said, stopping her in her tracks. Reagan paused at the door, turning back to look at him. There seemed to be something deeper to the declaration, this look of pure determination evident in his face.

A memory flashed behind Reagan’s eyes. Felix finding her after school, only months ago, hands fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. “I’m sorry.” Was all he said, before he shakily rested his head on her shoulder, unable to look her in the eyes any longer. He’d fought for so long to be able to keep his powers under control. Maybe this, in a way, would be a good thing. Maybe they’d actually make it through the school year this time.

“Okay,” She said softly. “I believe you.”

Something about the look in his eyes calmed her worries. Maybe she’d let her anxiety get the better of her. After all, this was Felix she was talking about. He may have been more distant lately, but that didn’t change the fact that if it was a real problem, something worth worrying about, he would’ve gone to her already. He trusted her…. He wouldn’t have hidden something important from her.

Whatever was bothering him, she was sure it wasn’t a big deal.

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